


Shampoo 1/2

by DBSommer



Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 847,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23929588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DBSommer/pseuds/DBSommer
Summary: The very first thing I did back in the day. It's massive, but complete. An alt uni where Ranma and Shampoo met earlier when she fell into a different pool. Early chapters reintroduce the cast but then the story becomes its own. Also the humor is more heavy in the early going but it becomes more serious as it progresses. Additional note: There seem to be some scripting issues here and there due to how old word was when I did this back in the 90's. I'll try and track down the issues.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 11





	1. Beginnings

Ranma ½ Presents:  
Shampoo ½

Chapter 1

Beginnings

All C+C is craved for.  
You can contact me at: 

All my other works are stored at fanfiction.net

Standard disclaimer:   
I don’t own any of these characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she leased the rights to. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The present:  
Nerima, Japan;

“Kasumi!”

Kasumi turned from the food she was preparing to stare in the direction the voice had come from. She wondered what her father could want and hoped it was important enough to warrant the delay in dinner that was going to happen because of the interruption. Still, there had been more than a little hint of excitement in his voice, something out of the ordinary. Kasumi paid attention to things like that. Sometimes, out of the ordinary things would mean she’d have to adjust her actions in order to make sure everything was done when it should be. From the meals to the cleaning, it was her duty to see to it that everything functioned smoothly within the home. It was a joy, of course, but sometimes it became difficult in spite of the ease which she usually demonstrated before her family.

Turning off the burner, she went into the living room where her father’s voice had come from. As she walked to it she heard him call for Nabiki and Akane’s as well, making it a family meeting. That could have meant any number of things. Usually her father was a creature of habit, but every once and a while he could be unpredictable. Mentally she prepared herself for a disruption in her schedule, hoping there would be enough time after dinner to get the cleaning done. 

As she sat down, she noticed Nabiki was in a kimono of all things. Odd that she had decided to wear something so…traditional. Perhaps her younger sister had some idea of what the meeting was about.

Akane came in a moment later, mopping sweat from her brow from her workout. Earlier, Kasumi had heard the sounds of bricks shattering, and reminded herself she would have to clean up the dust that would be left behind in Akane’s wake. At least her youngest sister was responsible enough to clean up the big pieces, but somehow she always seemed to leave the smaller pieces behind.

She shifted her thoughts to what was happening before her. Kasumi smiled pleasantly at everyone as she and her sisters sat at the table and looked to their father. For all of the poise he tried to maintain, there was a hint of barely controlled excitement in his eyes. 

Soun looked over his daughters carefully. How soon one of their lives was going to be changed. “A friend of mine is coming to visit with his son. It’s our intention that one of you marries him.”

As caught up as he was in the moment, he barely noticed the varying reactions of his daughters:

Akane: Outrage.

Nabiki: Interest, especially if he was cute.

Kasumi: Concern that he was older, since younger men were so…young.

Soun knew whichever one Ranma picked, the girl would be overwhelmed with joy; after all, it was Genma’s son. Why wouldn’t she be? That he had never seen Ranma before, (and in mentioning that fact the girls seemed somewhat annoyed, even the previously interested Nabiki) made no difference either. Genma would have raised his son on the path of a true martial artist, and therefore would be a more than acceptable husband.

As the discussion was about to continue, a loud crash came from the front door. Automatically Kasumi was on her feet first, concerned that if something had been broken she would have to fix it. Habit at Kasumi’s taking charge of the situation made the others relax and allowed her to examine things alone.

As Kasumi made her way to the door, her mind was awhirl with the sudden turn of events. The whole situation was something to seriously consider. Which one of them was going to marry Ranma? Akane had seemed to show an unhealthy aversion to boys recently, so perhaps it would be best if she were engaged to Ranma in order to help her get over that problem. On the other hand, Nabiki seemed interested as well, and she had not been dating anyone lately either. Yes, no doubt it would be one of those two. Ranma might be able to help them in any number of ways. Somehow Kasumi doubted if he was the sort of man she was looking for.

As she turned the corner she saw what the disturbance had been. There was a gaping hole in the wall, next to the door, with a small pile of rubble next to it. There were also three people now inside the house, undoubtedly having entered through the previously mentioned hole. All three of them were in a small circle, one of them with his back to her. The first one that caught her attention was the tallest and heaviest of the trio. He was an older man dressed in a simple white gi and wearing glasses. The second person appeared to be Akane’s age, a girl with short red hair and wearing a red Chinese style shirt and black pants. She was speaking in an agitated voice to the one with his back to Kasumi. Even from behind, she was fairly certain it was a man. There was something about his posture and the broad definition of his shoulders. He was about three inches taller than Kasumi, and wore a pink and purple outfit that seemed to be of a Chinese design as well. Long black hair was tied back in a ponytail that reached mid-way down his back. None of the three seemed aware of her presence at first, too intent on paying attention to the boy.

The girl was continuing her reprimand. “…told you to let Pop or me open doors. You’re too destructive.”

Kasumi heard the boy say ‘sorry’. Further admonishment from the redhead stopped as Kasumi realized that the girl had at last spotted her. 

“We got company.” She indicated towards Kasumi with a nod of the head. The other two also looked towards her, the boy at last turning around to see who was behind him…

And years of suppressed hormones suddenly came bursting forth all at once, striking Kasumi squarely between the eyes. Before her was one of the most handsome men she had ever seen in her entire life, and he was looking at her. Unbelievably she felt heat rise to he cheeks as she noticed him examining her, an examination which was returned in kind. She found herself continuing to admire his fine features, lost in the moment, until she realized that at some point the red-haired girl had moved forward and was now waving a hand in front of Kasumi’s face.

“Hey, sorry about the doo… I mean wall. You all right?”

That snapped Kasumi out of it, though she found herself reluctant to pull her gaze away from the young man “Yes. I’m fine,” she managed to get out. Why had her face gotten so warm? “Don’t worry about the mess. I’ll clean it up later.” Instincts started to take over as she calmed down. They were guests, that meant she needed to be a proper hostess and take them to her father. She indicated they should follow her to the interior of the house. It was much to her delight that the boy came forward to walk alongside the girl, both following closely behind their guide.

If she had believed her mind was in a whirl before, now it was a veritable hurricane. Her thoughts raced as she tried to understand the situation. Why was the handsome man --and the other two with him-- at her house? Could they have been the guests her father was expecting? The older man might have been about the same age as her father, it was hard to tell since he had no hair, but it was a distinct possibility. And if that were the case, that would mean the handsome boy was most likely Ranma.

The boy one of them was going to be engaged to.

Suddenly Kasumi felt her heart race as more possibilities began to form. Was she right? Was he Ranma? He did appear a bit young, but perhaps she had been a but hasty in condemning all younger men. It was simply not proper to stereotype an entire age group for being immature. Ranma appeared very mature for his age, from what she had seen so far.

She was about to ask the youth if he was Ranma when the quartet entered the living room and came upon her family. All three of the Tendous seemed to perk up with the new arrivals.

Soun was up in an instant, shaking the hand of the older man and crying with emotion. “Saotome! It’s good to see you again. You haven’t changed a bit. Except for the few extra pounds. Heh, heh.” He poked Genma in the ribs for emphasis.

Kasumi found that she almost had to restrain herself from sighing with relief. So it was her father’s old friend. That meant the boy had to be Ranma. That was…nice. She turned to observe her sisters’ reactions to the situation. Akane seemed considerably less angry as she looked over the newcomers, though it was obvious she was still somewhat suspicious. 

Nabiki, on the other hand, was a very different story. She only gave the other two newcomers cursory inspections as her gaze lingered on the boy. She actually licked her lips as she hungrily took in Ranma’s form. “Not bad at all,” she said loudly enough for him to hear. 

Kasumi was shocked at her sister’s behavior. To ogle at their guest was just plain rude. She did hold back the reprimand that came to mind though. Ranma might have gotten the wrong idea and thought her to be a stern woman. She was very nice and pleasant and would let him know that through her actions. Besides, Kasumi was pretty certain Ranma had caught sight of the way he was being sized up, and appeared to be eyeing Nabiki warily.

Soun, temporarily done with greeting his old friend, at last turned his attention to the two new youths that were still taking in their surroundings. “Hello,” he said politely and bowed.

“Hello,” the redhead replied as she bowed in return.

The black-haired boy took a moment to observe his companion’s reaction, then mirrored it. “Nihao.”

Soun approached the boy and looked him over with a smile, seeming to approve with his stare. “So this must be Ranma. A fine looking young man, Saotome.”

At that point the redhead leveled an evil stare at the Genma. “Pop, you’d better tell them.”

Genma’s reaction was to shift nervously as he cleared his throat and looked towards the ceiling. “Well…,” he trailed off.

Soun plainly ignored both of the speakers. His entire attention was centered on one thing: the youth who would be one of his daughter’s future husband. He placed a hand around the boy’s shoulders and gently pointed him towards the three girls. “Allow me to introduce you to your prospective brides. Kasumi, age 19. Nabiki age 17, and Akane, age 16. All of them are more than worthy to become your wife. Which will it be, son?”

Kasumi sensed the urgency of the moment and looked her two sisters over. Akane still seemed suspicious of the whole situation and continued scowling a bit, though her gaze had seemed to soften to a grudging admiration when it fell upon Ranma. Still, she seemed unlikely to say anything. 

By contrast, Nabiki appeared very eager, possessing a gaze that Kasumi recognized all too well, having lived with it the majority of her life. Nabiki now had the ‘MINE!!!’ look in her eyes. Kasumi had been able to identify it since her younger sister was about three and had gone around proudly proclaiming that every object she could get her hands on was hers. Their mother had insisted it was just a phase she would grow out of, but Kasumi couldn’t think of the time when that might have happened. Nowadays Nabiki was just more discriminating and hid it better, usually.

But that wasn’t fair! Kasumi had seen him first. She should have been the one to have first choice at him. Nabiki shouldn’t be so greedy and try to take everything for herself. It was wrong. 

Just as Nabiki started to open her mouth, the words came tumbling from Kasumi. “Father, since I am the oldest, I believe it is only right that I accept the engagement.” 

There. It was out. For the first time that in recent memory Kasumi had taken the initiative and tried to get what she wanted. She found her heart fluttering as she gave the brightest smile she could at Ranma, her new fiancé. Much to her delight, after a moment of evaluating her, he smiled warmly back, causing a deep blush to rise to her cheeks once more. She hoped he didn’t find her too forward, or desperate, in proclaiming a desire to be engaged to him, but it really was for the best. Nabiki was just wrong for him. Men didn’t really want girls like her sibling, or so Kasumi thought. No. They preferred women who were nice and pleasant and would take care of a house and home. She was best suited for that, and therefore best suited for Ranma.

Akane and Nabiki both stared in shock at their sister’s declaration. After the initial surprise, Akane relaxed. It wasn’t like she wanted to be engaged to a boy anyway, even if this one wasn’t totally bad-looking. He was probably a pervert, just like the rest of them. That also meant he had better be VERY careful around Kasumi, or Akane would take care of him just like she did the other perverts that continually harassed her.

Nabiki took an opposite train of thought. She had wanted Ranma for herself. There was a definite potential for something there. He was good-looking, had a great body, and if he had a decent personality as well, hey, she could be quite happy with such a guy. 

“I thought you said you didn’t like younger men,” she reminded her sister. “They’re so…young’.” She did a passable impression of Kasumi.

Kasumi moved closer to her fiancé. “Ranma happens to be very mature.”

Nabiki raised an eyebrow at that. “And just how can you tell? He hasn’t said two words since coming here.”

“A woman just knows these things,” Kasumi assured her sister as she smiled again at her new fiancé, who once more returned the smile. For the first time in a long while she felt as though she were truly alive. Excitement was something that had been missing from her life for far too long.

Soun began crying, not a full fledged waterworks, but a small one full of pride. “Kasumi, you do your father proud.” He turned to his new son-in-law. “Boy, you’ve done well for yourself. Kasumi has taken care of the family since her mother died. She is the one best suited for making you a good home. You are a lucky man, Ranma.”

The boy furrowed his eyebrows at that and pointed to himself. “Shampoo.”

Soun looked confused. It took him several seconds to make sense as to what the boy was saying. “Oh, I see. Kasumi, our guests have no doubt traveled a long time on their journey and desire to clean up. Why don’t you show Ranma where the bathroom is?”

Kasumi quickly grabbed her fiancé’s hand to lead him to the bath. The boy resisted for a moment to look at the redhead.

The girl took in the situation and waved the boy on. “You’d better go with her. It wouldn’t hurt to get cleaned up. Pop and I will explain everything.” The girl turned to Genma and gave a stare that was even more intense than the last one. “Won’t we, Pop?” 

Genma started sweating profusely at that and began looking for a way out. Experience had taught him that it never hurt to have a planned escape route when things went bad, something that seemed to happen frequently. 

Soun’s attention had been so riveted to Ranma from the moment he stepped into the room that it was only now that he realized there was more than one youth that had accompanied his old friend. “Saotome, you didn’t tell me you had a girl too. How old is she?”

“Sixteen,” Genma said quickly. That answer wasn’t one that would get him into trouble.

“Pop.” The girl’s voice carried a warning tone.

Soun missed the exchange and considered the information he had just been given. “Then she and Ranma are twins. Why didn’t you tell me? What’s your name?”

“Ranma,” The girl said, gauging the reaction in Soun’s eyes.

Soun began scratching his chin. “You gave your son and daughter the same name? Isn’t that a bit confusing?”

“POP!” The girl’s temper began to flare in earnest as she turned on her father. It really was all his fault. She certainly didn’t want to be the one to have to explain the mess he had made of the situation.

Akane finally stood up, intrigued by the situation. That her sister was happily engaged was nice; Kasumi deserved to be happy. However, what was far more interesting to Akane than some dumb boy was the girl that had accompanied him. From what little she had seen, the female, ‘Ranma-chan,’ seemed to possess the careful step of one trained in combat. “Do you practice any martial arts?”

Ranma-chan seemed a bit startled by the change of subject, then puffed out her ample bosom. “Of course I do. I’m the best.”

Akane wasn’t about to let a boast like that go unchallenged. “Let’s go to the dojo out back and spar.”

Ranma-chan went from her boastful stance to a more subdued one. “I don’t fight girls.” She seemed to think twice about saying that as she looked around, then quickly added, “most of the time.”

Akane observed the strange behavior and wondered what the shorter girl meant by the unusual statement. “But you’re a girl.” 

“Well, it’s kind of hard to explain,” was all Ranma-chan offered in response. 

“I see,” Akane sniffed. “You’re afraid you’d lose.”

Ranma-chan took a step forward. “Why you…”

“Ahem!” Genma cleared his throat, making his presence known. “You go on with the girl. I’ll explain everything here.”

Ranma-chan looked incredulously at Genma. Some instinct told her he would explain instead of running, for a change. Taking a chance he was actually showing some backbone, she elected to follow Akane to the dojo.

Akane thought it was going to be great. Not only did the new girl know martial arts, but if she was half as good as she seemed to think she was it was probably going to be a decent fight. There weren’t many people that could give her a real workout anymore. She could defeat her father regularly, not that he ever fought back, and then there was Kunou, but he was a pervert and she didn’t enjoy fighting him, and aside from those two there wasn’t really anyone else. Now it appeared that might be changing. And Ranma-chan seemed nice enough. Maybe they could be friends.

Kasumi enjoyed the warm feeling of ‘Ranma-kun’s’ hand as she led him to the bath. His hands were large and callused, and encompassed the entirety of her hand. Despite the size, his grasp was delicate as he allowed himself to be ushered to the bath. Kasumi discovered an urge within her to play her fingers along the those calluses. She was having such strong feelings of attraction towards her fiancé, that she became concerned at her own behavior. It would be better if she calmed down. Certainly it was nice to be engaged to such a handsome, and strong man, but she should try to get to know him as a person first. Surprisingly, for the first time in years, she began fantasizing what it would be like to lie back in a man’s arms and enjoy his gentle embrace as they talked in idle conversation.

She snapped out of the half-formed dream as they arrived at their destination. “And here is the bathroom, Ranma.”

He pointed to himself once again. “Shampoo.”

“Yes,” Kasumi nodded happily. “There’s plenty of shampoo in the bath.” It appeared another nice attribute of her fiancé was that he was very concerned about good hygiene. 

Ranma looked at her, obviously wanting to say something, but apparently uncertain of what to say. After a bit of struggling he seemed to get an idea. “You come in, wash back,” he said firmly.

Kasumi nearly fainted at the proposition. Her fiancé found her attractive. That she was desirable to him, and that he made it known so early on, relieved her. There had been a very great fear that he might change his mind about being engaged to her and wouldn’t find her appealing at all. Certainly no one ever suggested she was, but that was clearly not the case here. Not at all.

“Al—“ she clamped her hand over her mouth and mentally gave an ‘oh my!’ She had almost accepted. She couldn’t do that. It was wrong, or at least too soon. Even though she found herself becoming excited at the idea of seeing Ranma without his shirt on.

She removed her hands from her mouth. “I meant to say, I can’t do that. We’ve just been engaged and such things should not be done until after a proper wedding.” Part of her mind actually chided her for the refusal and proclaimed her a coward. They were engaged, so it shouldn’t matter. She really had to get some distance from her fiancé and try to regain her composure. Her behavior was not proper at all, and she didn’t want to make a bad impression on Ranma. Of course, he was the one that had offered to have her bathe him, and she really should comply with her fiancé’s desires. Relationships were a two-way street, and one had to…

She shook her head again to free it of such thoughts. It was time to get that needed distance from him, and quickly. 

Ranma gave a defeated look and entered the bath, alone. She waited until her fiancé closed the door behind him before gaining the strength to leave. Perhaps having a quick wedding would be a good idea. There really wasn’t any point in dragging things out. She began to mentally make a list of all the things that would be needed as she made her way to the laundry to wash clothes. One thing was for certain, it was going to be one interesting engagement.

Akane had become angry in short order. It wasn’t because her opponent wasn’t as good as she hoped. On the contrary, she was quite skilled. Akane had gone easy on Ranma-chan at first. When the redhead dodged the first four attacks without trying, Akane stepped it up a notch. Still the girl evaded without a problem. Akane stepped up the intensity until she was at the maximum of her abilities, and still her opponent avoided being hit.

And that was the problem. All Ranma-chan was doing was dodging the attacks and not fighting back at all.

“Stand still and fight!” Akane took another swing.

Ranma-chan ducked the blow. “I already told you, I don’t fight girls.”

“I’ll make you fight!” She swung again.

Ranma-chan let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. You asked for it.”

As Akane threw another blow the shorter girl leaped over her opponent’s head and twisted in mid-air only to land directly behind Akane in one fluid motion. Having full access to the youngest Tendo’s unprotected back, Ranma-chan shoved her forward and to the ground.

“I win,” Ranma-chan declared smugly.

Akane got up, looking ready to kill. Almost as quickly as it appeared, the look of anger vanished only to be replaced by a smile.

“You’re pretty good,” Akane complimented as she brushed herself off. “I’m glad you’re a girl. I don’t think I could stand losing to a boy.”

Akane missed hearing the “Oh, great,” that Ranma-chan muttered under breath.

Further discussion was cut off as both of them heard a loud crash come from the direction of the house. Ranma-chan and Akane looked at each other in surprise, then rushed to investigate. It took them only moments to enter the house and see that the loud noises had come from the living room. Both of them entered to bear witness to a scene of carnage before them: the living room was in shambles, multiple weapons on the end of chains were lying around, Soun lay unconscious upon the ground, and a panda wearing a set of white robes and glasses was beating up Genma.

Akane stared at the scene in horror. “What th… we’re being attacked by a panda!”

“Mousse!” Ranma-chan shouted out.

Akane looked in confusion at her sparring partner. “No, it’s a panda.”

Ranma-chan shook her head. “I mean it’s Mousse.”

“And I’m telling you it’s a panda!”

“No. No. No. Trust me, it’s Mousse!”

“What are you talking about? Do you see any antlers on it? Of course not! That’s because it’s not a moose! It’s black and white and furry and is a panda! A P—A—N—D—A!” 

“I didn’t say it was a moose. I said it was Mousse!”

“I know you said it’s a moose! That’s what I just said you said! What are you, stupid?!”

“I am not stupid, you uncute tomboy!

“What did you just call me?!”

The panda had stopped beating on Genma and watched the exchange with a careful eye. Once the argument lost its entertainment value, he shot out several chains from the sleeves of his robes, effectively entangling Ranma-chan, and Akane.

Ranma-chan found herself unable to escape, her struggles only making the chains tighter. She looked at the similarly trussed up Akane and snapped, “I could have avoided this if you hadn’t been distracting me!” She rolled over and looked in the direction that the boy she had entered the house with had gone. “SHAMPOO!!!”

“Now is not the time to worry about your hair, you egotistical jerk!” Akane vowed to beat Ranma-chan senseless just on general principle now. Once she beat up the panda for attacking her father, anyway.

Down the hall, Kasumi’s ears picked up the faint clamor and turned away from with the washing machine. From the volume of the noise, it sounded as though the others were having a party. Why hadn’t someone told her about it? She hadn’t had any time to prepare any food. As she left the clothing behind and started down the hall, she found herself wondering what kind of foods Ranma liked. It was the first day of their engagement, and for such a festive occasion she would surely have to make his favorite dish and prove her culinary skills.

Kasumi went to the bathroom door intent on only asking her fiancé what he would like to eat and for no other reason. Especially not for a chance to see him only partially clothed. Just as she raised her hand to knock, the door suddenly flew open and a purple-haired girl emerged, wearing nothing but a look of concern. The girl ran past Kasumi without a word and hurried towards the living room

Kasumi remained exactly where she was, motionless. Her hand was still held up so as to knock on what was now nothing but empty space and her smile was frozen. There had been a strange naked girl in the bathroom with her fiancé. How…not nice.

Downstairs, the girl rushed into the room only to see the panda enthusiastically jumping up and down on Ranma-chan, causing the redhead to gasp out in pain each time.

“Mousse no attack Ranma and Pop! Fight Shampoo!” she shouted, gaining Mousse-panda’s attention. 

“That is a panda!” Akane shouted from off to the side where she had been discarded, still wrapped in chains.

Mousse-panda and Ranma-chan both looked at the new arrival and promptly dropped their jaws at her lack of clothing. Shampoo moved in while her animal opponent was distracted and connected with a clear uppercut, belting him through the roof and very far away. 

Shampoo estimated that Mousse-panda’s trajectory would land him somewhere in Hokkaido. “Why Mousse no leave us alone? Is all his fault anyway.”

“ARE YOU ALL BLIND OR CRAZY?!!! THAT WAS A PANDA! A PANDA! PANDA, PANDA, PANDA! AHHHHHHHHH!!!” 

“First, Shampoo, let’s call what just attacked us a panda,” Ranma-chan said as she closed her eyes. “Secondly, could you put something on?”

Shampoo gave out an ‘Aiya!’ as she suddenly realized she was in the buff. She grabbed a nearby tablecloth and wrapped it around herself as the others began to disentangle themselves from the chains. Just as everyone finished up, Kasumi and Nabiki finally entered the room.

Kasumi cleared her throat. Despite being distraught over the disappearance of her fiancé, and who had last been in the bath with him, she would deal with the situation in a calm and pleasant manner. 

“Excuse me, miss? You. The tramp with the purple hair that was naked in the bath with my fiancé. What did you do with him?” Kasumi, heard her family gasp at her choice of words, and admitted to herself that it hadn’t sounded quite as nice as she had thought it would.

Ranma-chan walked over to her now conscious father. “Pop, you’re explaining this before it gets worse. Not that I’m sure how it could get any worse.”

Genma reluctantly assented. The room was fixed up enough so that everyone had a place to sit as the explanations began. Ranma-chan, Shampoo, and Genma sat on one side of the table, across from the Tendos. Ranma-chan stared expectantly at her father, waiting for him to start. It took only a few moments of that withering stare for Genma to work up the courage to begin.

“It all started a little while ago while we were on our training trip. We arrived at the magical training grounds of Jusenkyou…

Genma crossed his arms as he smirked at his son as both stood atop the poles above the springs of Jusenkyou. Genma paid as little attention to the Guide’s continuing ramblings as did Ranma. All they were concerned about was that they were indeed at the training grounds and that each one wanted to prove his superiority to the other. Nothing else mattered.

“Time to see what you’ve learned, boy.” In spite of his sizable girth, Genma easily balanced himself atop his pole as he confronted his son.

“You’re dead meat, old man!” Ranma smirked back as he balanced himself on top of his pole with an ease that rivaled his father’s.

With their banter complete, they began sparring with one another, each getting a feel for their new battleground as they launched attacks at one another. As intense as their concentration was, neither fighter noticed that there was already a fight occurring on the other side of the springs, the two combatants quickly working their way closer to where the two Saotomes were fighting.

Shampoo, armed only with her bonbori, backed off from another volley of weapons from Mousse’s sleeves. She had to give him credit; by issuing his marriage challenge to her, and requesting the battleground be at Jusenkyou, he had given himself an advantage (not that he stood a chance of winning, she assured herself). But his superior agility and long range attacks forced her to back off for a moment, at least until she could find an opening with which to knock him unconscious. 

Accepting the challenge while her great grandmother was away might have been unwise, but there was no way she was going to back off from the idiot and give him the opportunity to proclaim her afraid of him, even if he had no right to issue the challenge again for her hand so quickly. Whether it was at Jusenkyou or at the bottom of the ocean, there was no way she would ever back off from the oaf, or allow him a victory of any sort over her. The fight would end the way the other one had, with her standing triumphantly over his beaten form.

Ranma had his entire concentration focused on the large man before him. At last he had seen an opening, and was fully prepared to launch himself in the air and knock Genma down. He even had the spring he was going to knock his father into picked out. All he had to do was jump off the pole behind him.

Shampoo had her entire concentration focused on the blind idiot before her. At last she had seen an opening coming up, and was fully prepared to launch herself into the air and knock Mousse down. She even had the spring she was going to knock him into picked out. All she had to do was jump off the pole behind her.

As wrapped up as they were in their upcoming ‘victories’ neither combatant paid any attention to what was behind them. Both went for identical moves from opposite directions, colliding with one another when they went for their respective leaps. Upon the collision Shampoo’s bonbori went flying far away as each of young martial artists ended up knocking the other one from the skies and into different springs. 

Genma leaped to the top of the pole next to the pool Ranma had fallen into. Mousse did likewise on the one next to the pool Shampoo had fallen into. Both men looked on in concern

Ranma-chan sat up in her pool, gasping for air.

Upon seeing her, Mousse proudly placed his hands on his hips and laughed at the girl. “ _”_

_The now male form of Shampoo-kun broke the surface of the water and leaped up from his pool, straight to the boasting Mousse. “”_

_Caught off-guard by an attack from an unexpected direction, Mousse took a solid blow to the chin and went flying off the pole and into a different spring. Effortlessly, Shampoo-kun then landed on the pole Mousse had been on and admired his handiwork. How could the blind fool count him out when he had taken but one accidental tumble into some water? He deserved a beating if he thought that was all it took to take out a warrior of Shampoo’s abilities._

_Mousse-panda sat up in the pool, surprised at the sudden turn of events. He had been so certain he had won. And why did he feel so waterlogged all of a sudden?_

_The Jusenkyou Guide finally came out of hiding once all of the splashing had stopped. He had known that was going to happen. They always ignored him and rushed headlong into the magic waters, always ending up getting cursed. Sometimes he thought it was a miracle that he himself hadn’t been turned into a bandicoot a long time ago._

_The Guide looked to Mousse and shook his head pitifully. “You fall into Shonmaoniichuan. Very tragic story of panda that drowned in pool over 2000 years ago.”_

_Mousse-panda looked down at his form and understood why he felt so waterlogged; fur absorbed water really well. His attempts at crying out in distress came out as nothing more than unintelligible grumbles._

_The Guide walked over to Ranma-chan’s still soaking form. “And you fall into Nyanniichuan. Very tragic story of young girl that drowned in pool over 1500 years ago.”_

_That seemed to snap Ranma-chan out of her stupor. The sudden physical change at last registered with her and she opened her gi, getting a very close look at the new additions to her chest._

_“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”_

_The Guide paid no attention to the cries. Almost everyone screamed upon learning they were cursed, except for the victims of the Spring of Drowned Mute, of course._

_He hopped up to a pole that was next to the one Shampoo-kun was currently located on. “And you fall into Nanniichaun. Very tragic story of young boy that drowned in pool 1500 years ago.”_

_Shampoo-kun felt his chest, at last understanding that his shirt was not quite as tight across the middle as it used to be. Still in shock, he felt a new addition of his own and looked down his pants to see what else had been substituted._

_“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH…”_

_“Is all Mousse’s fault!” Shampoo growled as Genma finished telling the tale._

_Ranma-chan identified a different source for her problems. “This is all your fault, old man!”_

_It was small surprise to her that Genma had begun to sneak away when his tale was finished. He had moved too slowly though, as Ranma-chan grabbed him by the collar and threw him into the koi pond in back. Genma sat up wet, but otherwise unchanged._

_“If I had any sense I would have thrown you in that Spring of Drowned Yeti Riding Bull While Carrying Crane and Eel or something!” Ranma-chan lamented._

_Genma crawled out of the pond and tried to dry himself off. “Is that any way to talk to your father?”_

_“YES!!!”_

_Soun stared intently at his friend. “Saotome. Are you sure this isn’t some ploy to get out of marrying one of my daughters?”_

_Genma nodded sagely at Soun. “Allow me to demonstrate.”_

_Genma headed into the kitchen and came back bearing a kettle of boiling water. He unceremoniously dumped the contents on Ranma-chan, whose body changed to that of his male form._

_“That’s too hot!” Ranma shouted in pain._

_“Let me help you cool off, boy.” Genma picked up Ranma by the collar, just like his son had done earlier, and tossed him into the pool. A soaking wet redhead sat up._

_“He really does change sexes!” Akane shouted, stunned._

_Genma nodded in shame at his son. “It’s true. And Shampoo is the same way.” He picked up a glass of water, that had somehow mysteriously avoided destruction, and dumped it on Shampoo, changing her into her male form._

_“And now for the change back.” Genma grabbed the kettle of hot water once again and moved to pour its contents on Shampoo’s head. A fist met his face at the half-way point._

_“Shampoo no feel like change now. Pop keep water.” Shampoo-kun removed his fist from Genma’s face and dumped the scalding water over Genma. He looked on, satisfied that Genma was writhing around in pain._

_“Let me help you cool off, Pop.” Ranma-chan rushed over and threw Genma into the pool once more._

_Nabiki had watched the entire proceedings with a critical eye. At last she got up and walked over to Ranma-chan. She poked the redhead in the breast with a single finger._

_“They’re real, all right,” Nabiki commented._

_“Please stop that,” Ranma-chan said as the middle Tendou continued to poke the breast for emphasis._

_With her initial experiment complete, Nabiki went over to Shampoo-kun and felt between his legs. “These are real too.”_

_Shampoo-kun looked down at Nabiki’s offending appendage. “No touch there.”_

_Kasumi came forward, shocked. “Nabiki, stop that! That is my fiancé!”_

_“So?”_

_“That means it’s my job.” Kasumi’s hand replaced Nabiki’s as she groped Shampoo-kun. “They are real. I think.”_

_Shampoo-kun escaped the fondling and darted out of reach. “No touch Shampoo!_

_“Oh, relax.” Nabiki said. “She is your fiancee. It’s perfectly natural for her to feel you up.”_

_Shampoo-kun stared in confusion and at last and broke out his Japanese to Chinese dictionary. He looked up the word fiancé and read the translation._

_“Aiya! Shampoo not marry girl! Shampoo girl!”_

_“You look like a boy.” Nabiki tried for one more quick grab at Shampoo-kun again, but he evaded the move. “Felt like a boy. You sure?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Soun sighed. “Then I guess we’ll have to call off Ran…I mean Shampoo’s engagement.” And he had been so impressed by the boy too._

_Shampoo-kun breathed a relieved sigh while Kasumi looked disappointed. So much for her engagement. She was nowhere near liberal minded enough to approve of those kinds of relationships among others, let alone be involved in one. Even if Shampoo was awfully attractive as a male. And she had so been looking forward to the idea of an engagement to him, or rather, her._

_Ranma-chan was still scowling at her father when Soun placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her towards the Tendou sisters._

_“So Ranma, which do you prefer?”_

_Ranma-chan looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”_

_“Which one do you want as your fiancee, my girl…er boy?” Addressing his future son-in-law was getting to be somewhat tricky._

_“I ain’t getting engaged to nobody,” Ranma-chan said defiantly as she crossed her arms across her chest._

_“How typical. Always thinking of yourself,” Genma scolded. “Why don’t you take other peoples feelings into consideration?”_

_“Because other people ain’t getting engaged! I am.”_

_“It’s a matter of honor, boy,” Genma assured him. “We swore you’d get engaged to one of the girls, and I meant it.”_

_An idea suddenly entered Ranma-chan’s mind. “Engaged, huh?”_

_Soun and Genma answered with a quick, ‘yes.’_

_What indignant anger had been present in the girl disappeared. “All right. Engaged it is.” The emphasis was on the ‘engaged’ part. No one said anything about actually going through with a marriage, which she most certainly was not going to do with any strange girl she had just met._

_Soun beamed happily at Ranma-chan’s sudden change-of-heart. “So which one is it, my boy?”_

_“I think one engagement a day is enough for me, father,” Kasumi sighed. Even as a boy, Ranma just didn’t seem as interesting as Shampoo._

_Nabiki saw the direction the conversation was taking. There was no way she wanted to be engaged to someone that switched sexes likes that. She spoke quickly before her father tried settling on her. “Akane is the same age and hates boys to boot. They are obviously a perfect match.”_

_Akane looked at Nabiki in surprise. “Now wait just a minute—“_

_Soun cut her off. “I believe that would be for the best. After all, we wanted to join the two schools and Akane is the best martial artist in the family.”_

_“She’s the best?” Ranma-chan asked in surprise. “Hey, that’s too bad.”_

_“Why you rotten…” Akane clenched her teeth in anger at the insult. In about half an hour, Ranma had easily beaten her during their sparring match, called her uncute AND flat-chested, deliberately confused her by calling a panda a moose, (or was that Mousse?), was a sex-changing weirdo, and now insulted her fighting abilities. Her anger hit the breaking point as she struck Ranma-chan with a mighty uppercut that sent the redhead through the ceiling._

_Genma nodded approvingly. “See? They already act like a married couple.”_

_Soun nodded in agreement, and that settled it. Ranma and Akane would be engaged to one another. What a joyous day it had been. It was just unfortunate the other engagement hadn’t worked out. It would have been quite the coup to marry off two daughters in the same day._

_Thing settled down remarkably by nightfall. The Saotomes were given a room. Both Ranma and Genma looked forward to having a roof over their heads and a warm place to sleep. Settling in was no problem since each had only a single backpack full of items to call their own._

_As Ranma started to drift off, he thought about all that had happened during the day. He had watched Shampoo nearly married off to a girl, had to reveal his curse to others, and been engaged to a girl that didn’t even seem to like him. The only nice thing about the whole situation, aside from the fact he was going to stay in one place for a change, was that things couldn’t get any worse._

_Shampoo had been relieved when Ranma gave a brief explanation that she was their traveling companion, and had nowhere else to go. Hearing that tale of woe, Soun allowed her to stay with them as long as she needed to. A small, little used storage room was converted for Shampoo’s use._

_The Amazon thanked Soun for the offer of a room and quickly gave her new chamber the spartan appeal she was used to. All she needed was a futon and a small dresser to place what little clothing she carried in. Twin bonbori and her sword were laid within easy reach of her bedding, which completed the arrangement. She took off her jade hairpieces and set them down next to the sword. All that she now owned was next to her._

_She stared at the ceiling above her as she laid down on the mat. It was nice to sleep under a roof once more, and not have to put up with Genma’s snoring, and to not have to worry if it was going to rain and have her wake up as a male if the shelter she constructed failed to keep the water out. She did miss her home, but with her curse, and the specific consequences of falling into Nanniichuan, she could not go back. Not until she found a cure of some sort._

_She allowed other memories of happier times to fill her, not that Ranma (and even Genma, in a way) weren’t nice. It was all very exciting, and she was getting to see a whole new world, that she would otherwise not have visited, thanks to them. It was the damned curse which complicated everything. She had even been almost married to another woman! At least that situation had been corrected with some effort. It was unfortunate that the nice Japanese girl, Kasumi, had seemed hurt by the whole thing, but Shampoo really hadn’t meant to lead her on. And Kasumi had seemed to recover rather quickly. She had even been happy to help Shampoo convert the closet into the bedroom. Shampoo promised herself she would try to assist the girl if she could. Even back home, there were not too many people that treated her as nicely as Kasumi Tendou did._

_Shampoo drifted off to sleep, wondering what tomorrow would bring._

_After several hours of Soun’s bawling, Akane at last accepted the engagement, although very reluctantly. Giving in was simply the best way to silence her father, and the man would have dehydrated himself if he had kept up that level of crying. She was decidedly not pleased with her new status, nor her fiancé, but she kept the opinion to herself, simply avoiding Ranma as much as she could. If there was some way out of the predicament, she would figure it out. In the meantime, she tried to adapt to the situation as best as she could._

_There was no way she was going to marry Ranma Saotome, though. No way, no how._

_By the next day things had settled down and plans for the future were made. Ranma was enrolled into the Furinkan High School (with a great deal of complaining about exactly why he had to go to school anyway), as was Shampoo (with almost as much as complaining since she thought she knew enough already and didn’t want to spend time in such a boring place). By the morning of the next day, it was an annoyed Shampoo that made her way to the front door, waiting to be taken to school._

_Nabiki engaged the girl in conversation, learning as much as she could about one of their new house guests. She had learned a bit about Shampoo’s home, how it was a matriarchal society and such, but most of what Shampoo had talked about was what had happened after she and Ranma had met in China. The main reason she was traveling with him was because apparently Shampoo was something of an outcast due to the curse, although Nabiki didn’t understand why. The middle Tendou daughter was forced to assume it had something to do with the fact it was a tribe of women, and that being cursed as a man meant loss of face or something. There were other things Shampoo was much more willing to reveal, however._

_“So this Mousse has been chasing you since China?” Nabiki asked._

_“Yes. Mousse not know when to leave alone. Mousse stupid and think Ranma kid… kid… take Shampoo away against her will. Mousse not accept Shampoo come because she want to.”_

_“Where is that pervert?” Akane stomped her foot in irritation. She had told him to be at the door promptly by seven thirty. Shampoo had the decency to be waiting there five minutes early, but Ranma was nowhere to be seen, and it was already seven forty. They were going to be late if he didn’t hurry._

_“I’m out of here,” Nabiki said as she looked at her watch._

_“Wait for us,” Akane insisted._

_“No can do, sis. I got people to meet. Besides that’s your fiancé and his friend. You should be the one to walk them to school.” And with that Nabiki ran out of the door._

_As Akane began muttering more expletives, Ranma at last ran to catch up to them, dressed in his red top and black pants._

_“Here I am,” Ranma announced happily._

_Akane just rolled her eyes. Did he expect her to throw a party? “We’ll be late for school. Come on.”_

_Ranma looked tentatively outside. “Ain’t it supposed to rain today?”_

_“It rained last night,” Akane explained. “But most of it dried up already. Now come on!”_

_The trio hurried onward to the school, Ranma and Shampoo continuing to grumble about the whole situation. About half-way there, Ranma sprang up onto the fence and began walking along it. Shampoo followed up a moment later and easily kept pace. Akane simply scowled at their antics. Already both were acting weird again._

_“Listen you two,” Akane warned. “Remember, you’re registered as Shampoo girl, Ranma boy, got it?”_

_“Yes,” they said in unison._

_“And none of that perverted sex changing stuff, or I’ll pretend I don’t know you. Got it?”_

_“Yes,” they repeated_

_The trio arrived at school with time to spare. It was as they were across the street, Ranma and Shampoo taking a moment to stare at the school’s main building, when Akane noticed two of her friends on the other side of the road. It was Sayuri and Malia, the latter being one of the new friends Akane had made shortly after Yuka had had her nervous breakdown, the poor girl. The two of them were about to enter the school yard. Akane decided if she was going to have to hang around Shampoo and Ranma, it was probably best that her friends were introduced to the newcomers first._

_“Hey, you guys!” Akane shouted at the girls._

_The two girls started to turn around at the same moment that a long truck passed by and splashed Ranma and Shampoo with water from a nearby puddle. By the time the truck finished passing, the transformations were complete. A male Shampoo and female Ranma now stood next to Akane._

_Sayuri and Malia made their way over to Akane and looked curiously at her two new companion. “Who’re your friends?” Sayuri asked._

_Akane’s eyes had been fixed on her friends the entire time, never looking once over to either of her new house guests or noticing what had happened. “Meet Ranma Saotome and Shampoo.”_

_The girls stared longingly at Shampoo-kun. As one they said together, “He sure is cute.”_

_Something about that made Akane cautious. Neither of her two friends were that forward, and Ranma wasn’t that good-looking. Certainly not ugly, not at all, but to have both of her friends make such bold statements in front of veritable strangers was odd. She turned to examine Ranma more closely, to see if there was some striking characteristic of his she had missed, when she at last saw what had happened. It took great restraint not to facefault in surprise. The duo had not even been able to make it to school without changing into their cursed forms._

_“So, Ranma, do you have a girlfriend?” Malia asked through starry eyes._

_Shampoo-kun shook his head. “No.”_

_“Are you looking for one?”_

_Shampoo-kun didn’t quite know how to answer that one. He was certain that he misunderstood some part of the question. Surely not another woman was coming onto him. Twice in three days was too much._

_Ranma-chan made the save as she grabbed Shampoo-kun away from the girls and into the school yard. Akane followed close behind._

_“I can’t believe that just happened,” Ranma-chan said._

_“Me neither,” Akane agreed. “They’re usually quiet and kind of shy.”_

_“That ain’t what I meant!” Ranma-chan snarled. “We gotta change back.”_

_“It’s too late for that now. They think that Shampoo’s you and you’re Shampoo. If we try changing you back, they’re going to know something’s up. And there’s no wa--.”_

_“AKANE TENDOU!!!”_

_Akane looked up in anger at the approaching pack of boys. They had shouted her name in unison, and as one they charged forth at her. Akane squared her feet as she prepared to meet the rush. “Oh great. So much happened this morning I forgot. I hate this!”_

_As the last words left her lips she rushed forward, attacking the first several youths and dropping them in seconds. Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun were stunned at the sudden attacking horde, and that its focus seemed solely on Akane. After the first few seconds, in which Akane felled close to ten of her attackers, the duo recovered._

_“We better help her out.” Ranma-chan prepared herself to enter the fray. Akane may have seemed more than a tad angry at times, but to be jumped by an entire gang at the same time was wrong, even if there was some off-hand chance she had actually done something to earn their scorn._

_“Don’t interfere. It’ll just upset her.”_

_Ranma-chan turned to see Nabiki emerge from a group of nearby girls._

_“What do you mean?”_

_Nabiki shrugged. “Just that she goes through this every morning. And she hates it if anyone implies she can’t take them all on by herself.”_

_Ranma-chan stared at her in confusion. “A gang attacks her every morning?”_

_“Close enough. Now c’mon.” Nabiki indicated she should follow her to the school’s entrance._

_Ranma-chan did as Nabiki suggested, though she kept a close eye on Akane’s fight. Shampoo-kun followed right on the shorter girl’s heels. It was only another minute before Akane finished wading through the group of attackers and approached the entrance herself._

_Ranma-chan took a moment to admire Akane’s handiwork. None of the pack was injured badly. They had just been ‘temporarily subdued’. Only a high caliber of martial artist could manage such a feat. Perhaps she had judged Akane too harshly in their first encounter. “Not bad. Why do they attack you every morning?”_

_Akane stared angrily at the crowd of fallen foes. “Some moron said that anyone that wanted to date me had to defeat me in combat first. Since then, I have to fight my way to school every morning.”_

_“That’s stupid,” Ranma-chan said_

_“Shampoo agree. Should make official challenge one on one, like back home, if want to prove worth to date.”_

_Nabiki heard that particular statement and got a calculating look in her eye._

_Ranma-chan looked in surprise at his companion. “You gotta fight for dates there too?”_

_Shampoo-kun had no chance to answer as further questions were cut off by a bokken wielding figure._

_Tatewaki Kunou stood before the four students, his eyes centered on the girl of his dreams. “Once again you have defeated all those that would seek to date you, Akane Tendou. Now you must face the greatest challenge of all: Tatewaki Kunou. He who is known as the ‘Blue Thunder’ of Furinkan High.” He raised his bokken high in the air, which was followed by a crash of thunder as lightning flashed dramatically in the background._

_Akane, long used to the second round of the fight, moved to attack, thankful that Kunou hadn’t gone into his full ‘flowery speech’ mode. Just as she was about to move forward, Ranma-chan placed a restraining hand on her shoulder._

_“Let me handle this one.” The redhead tried to move in front of Akane._

_“I can take him,” Akane said, irritated, and made certain Ranma-chan did not get in front of her._

_Ranma-chan shook her head. “He’s different from the others. He’s dangerous. I can tell.”_

_“I can handle him like I always do. Quit trying to interfere with my life, jerk!”_

_Ranma-chan’s irritation began to mirror Akane’s “How dare you call me that, you violent gorilla!”_

_Kunou stood back for a moment, transfixed by the argument that was developing. The fiery-haired beauty was arguing with Akane over who had the right to date with him. What a joyous day! The handsome visage of Tatewaki Kunou had captured yet another damsel’s eye. And the newcomer was truly a beauty, whose strong features rivaled the fierce passion that was Akane Tendou. But it was all so horribly wrong for two such ravishing creatures to quarrel over him. The answer to the problem was clearly obvious for one of such wisdom as himself._

_“There is no need to engage in such rivalry over me. I would see no pain come to either of you. I shall allow both of you to date me!”_

_With that bold proclamation he leaped forward to embrace the duo, who were arguing so intently that neither noticed the assault. Fortunately, Shampoo-kun did notice and struck Kunou in the face before he reached either of his intended targets. The upperclassman slumped to the ground, stunned._

_“We no have time for this. Be late for class.” Shampoo-kun dragged Akane and Ranma-chan into the school building at last, leaving Kunou behind._

_Akane breathed a sigh of relief as she got to her homeroom. It had been close, but they had managed to make it on time. If Ranma-chan had made her late with that argument over Kunou, she would never have forgiven her fiancé, not that she wanted him as her fiancé._

_Now she looked on as Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun stood before the class. Akane couldn’t help noticing that a lot of the guys were ogling Ranma-chan. But the real surprise was that the girls were making a an even bigger spectacle of themselves. Almost to a girl they were making obvious goo-goo eyes at Shampoo-kun, leaving Akane to wonder whatever happened to dignity. She didn’t go chasing after every good-looking guy that was around. Didn’t chase after any of them, actually. And if any of the girls discovered the truth about Shampoo-kun, well, it would serve them right if they were going to act like a bunch of love struck fools as well._

_Godai-sensai examined the newcomers. He hadn’t been at Furinkan long, and had yet to get used to the…odd tendencies the students had that all the other teachers seemed to blindly accept as normal, and that he would dub anyone ‘odd’ was quite the feat considering what his neighbors were like. At least the two new students appeared like they would be typical, except for a lack of school uniforms._

_He cleared his throat and began. “Class. I would like to introduce two new students.” He turned to Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun. “Introduce yourselves.”_

_Shampoo-kun looked toward the class and pointed a finger at himself. “Am Shampoo.”_

_“That’s funny,” Godai said. “I could have sworn it said Shampoo was a girl.” He began looking over the admission papers that were buried somewhere on his desk._

_Ranma-chan nudged Shampoo-kun in the ribs with her elbow._

_Shampoo-kun picked up on the gaff immediately. “Oh right. Am Ranma Saotome. Not Shampoo.” He turned to his companion and pointed to Ranma-chan. “That Shampoo.”_

_Ranma-chan bowed. “I am Shampoo…ummm…”_

_“Just Shampoo,” Shampoo-kun supplied._

_“Right. Just Shampoo.”_

_Akane felt like burying her head under her books. The two idiots were going to blow everything. She just knew it._

_The rest of the day went somewhat more peacefully. Ranma-chan, now known as ‘Shampoo’, and Shampoo-kun, now known to the student body as ‘Ranma’, sat next to and in front of Akane, respectively. Aside from practically every girl staring at the Amazon, the day went smoothly as the new students tried to figure out exactly how their school worked. Neither was overjoyed about the situation, but school actually did not seem quite as bad as they had feared. However, it was going to take both of them a lot of work to catch up to the rest of the students. And for Shampoo-kun, understanding the language well was an added difficulty he didn’t care for._

_By lunch both Shampoo-kun and Ranma-chan were glad for the break. They sat with Akane, who had finally managed to relax somewhat when nothing else went wrong during the day. As the three began to eat their lunches, Nabiki came by and sat down among them._

_She carefully took in the new students appearances before asking any question. Both seemed to be doing well, although Nabiki did notice a lot of the girls were staring at Shampoo-kun when they thought he wasn’t looking. More information that could be put to good use was categorized._

_“So, what do you guys think of school so far?” Nabiki asked._

_Shampoo-kun made a face at that. “Have trouble understanding teachers, and girls keep making funny faces at Shampoo.”_

_“She means ‘Ranma’,” Ranma-chan said as she rolled her eyes. “I think it stinks. I haven’t been here a whole day and I’m bored already.”_

_“If you paid attention in class it wouldn’t be boring,” Akane said. She had kept as close of an eye as she could on her two charges. Shampoo-kun at least seemed to be trying to understand, but after an hour, Ranma-chan made virtually no effort at all to follow the teachers._

_“If it wasn’t so boring I could pay attention. How do they expect to keep someone’s interest if all they do is stand there and talk?” Ranma-chan complained again._

_Nabiki headed off the possible disagreement. Already it seemed Akane and Ranma-chan were getting on each other’s nerves with virtually no provocation. She turned to Shampoo-kun to change the topic. “So what was this about having to fight like Akane?”_

_Shampoo-kun suddenly became far more animated. “In Amazon village, mens and womens go on dates. But most womens prefer strong mens to be with, much honor in strength. If woman seem reluctant to go out with man, then man try to prove worth to woman by challenging them to duel. If man wins, then woman have to go out on date with him.”_

_“Can a woman refuse the challenge?” Nabiki asked, captivated by the tale._

_“Yes,” Shampoo said, then scoffed. “But real warriors no back off from challenge. If woman seem afraid of man, others make fun of her. And if mans can prove worth, it good idea to go out with him. Might make good husband.” Shampoo-kun nodded approvingly at that._

_“That’s stupid,” Ranma-chan commented and gained a cross look from Shampoo-kun._

_Nabiki leaned closer to Shampoo-kun. “Can only guys challenge?”_

_Shampoo-kun looked confused at her. “What mean?”_

_“Can girls challenge guys?”_

_Shampoo-kun looked bewildered at her. “Most mens not stupid enough to refuse woman if she ask on date, not if mens knows what good for him.”_

_Nabiki’s eyes took on a devious glint. “But what if the guy does refuse?”_

_Shampoo-kun shrugged. “Then woman can challenge him to go on date. Man can no really refuse challenge. Not unless he want really great shame, or has communicable disease.”_

_Nabiki gave a Cheshire cat-like grin at that statement._

_Akane shook her head sadly. “I agree with Ranma. That’s stupid.”_

_“Yeah,” Ranma-chan commented. “Next thing you know, the guys at this school might do that for some uncute tomboy.”_

_“Exactly!” Akane agreed. “Guys at this school might…” she trailed off as she realized Ranma-chan was looking intently at her the entire time she made the statement._

_“Why you! RANMA NO BAKA!!!” She caught Ranma-chan right on the jaw and sent her through the window, attracting everyone’s attention._

_Sayuri walked over to Akane. “Why did you call Ranma a baka then hit Shampoo?”_

_Akane temporarily found herself at a loss for words._

_Nabiki made the save as she idly explained that Akane, ‘missed her intended target.’ With that said, she got up and went back to her homeroom. The plan was right on her fingertips. She just had to see if she could make it work._

_Ranma-chan made it back before classes started again, and the rest of the school day went by uneventfully, marred only by the dirty looks Ranma-chan gave Akane. Once it ended and the trio returned home, the first thing the two cursed youths did was grab some hot water and change._

_Shampoo took great delight in returning to her real form at long last. There had been times when both she and Ranma had had no access to hot water and spent a couple of days in their cursed forms, but it still felt bizarre to spend so much time in her cursed body. And if she was going to start spending all of her days as a boy, she would savor every minute of those times when she didn’t have to be one. Now that she was free of her cursed form, she felt a great reserve on energy fill her. It took her only a moment to decide how she should use that energy. “Ranma want spar with Shampoo?”_

_“Yeah, sure.” Ranma nodded enthusiastically. He too felt like blowing off some steam at being cooped up all day with nothing interesting to do._

_“I thought you didn’t fight girls,” Akane said._

_Ranma became a little sheepish at that. “Shampoo’s different.”_

_“How?”_

_“Well, she’s a guy half the time.” That, combined with the fact that the first time he told the purple-haired Amazon he ‘didn’t fight girls’ she took it as a personal slander against all Amazons and beat the tar out of him, convinced him he should never say those words in her presence again. And he would always qualify their matches in his mind as ‘just sparring’ and it wasn’t really fighting. And Shampoo was a guy half the time too, so it wasn’t the same thing as fighting a girl that wasn’t cursed. He still didn’t fight girls._

_Akane just scowled at the answer, causing Ranma to give a frustrated sigh. “Never mind. C’mon Shampoo. Let’s get going.”_

_Akane watched as the two began to walk away. A feeling of being left out suddenly overwhelming her. “Can I come too?”_

_“Sure. If you think it will do you any good,” Ranma said as he continued on._

_Akane growled at the comment, but still followed the duo to the dojo. She wanted to do something, and even if she was having trouble getting along with Ranma, sparring could still be fun._

_Since Shampoo had challenged Ranma first, the two of them began. To Akane, it seemed that despite calling it a sparring match, neither one of them held anything back. Each moved with an even mix of grace and power that found Akane quickly becoming jealous of. In all her years of training, she still lacked the sort of effortless flowing of motion from one movement to the next that the duo demonstrated. True, she had all the power she needed, but as much as she hated to admit it, her grace needed a lot of work._

_Akane began paying closer attention to the fight itself. In the opening moments, Shampoo managed to press Ranma hard, even going so far as to put him on the defensive a few times. As the fight progressed, Ranma became more aggressive as he took the measure of his opponent and began fighting back. Several times Shampoo almost managed to regain the initiative, but before long those opportunities went from few to non-existent. Eventually she found herself heavily on the defensive, Ranma focusing his attacks on the few holes he found in her defense. Close to twenty minutes of intense sparring passed before Ranma at last managed to win the match._

_The moment the match ended, both combatants collapsed on the ground, breathing hard._

_“That was tough,” Ranma managed to gasp out. “You did a few new moves on me.”_

_Shampoo had as much ease speaking as Ranma had. “But Ranma still better than Shampoo.” The Amazon waited a few minutes before feeling confident enough to take the next step. She turned to Akane._

_“Akane want try now?”_

_In spite of being somewhat in awe of what she had just seen, Akane stood up and accepted the offer. Once Shampoo knew she was almost up to her full fighting skills, she began to spar with Akane._

_Akane counted on the Amazon being slow; after all, she had just been in a grueling battle in which she had lost, but as the fight began, Akane knew that that had not been enough to reduce her opponent’s skill level significantly. Akane found herself defeated in less than two minutes. She slumped to the floor, depressed. Before she had been the best martial artist in the whole of Nerima. In the space of three days she found herself a distant third._

_Shampoo looked the depressed girl over. It was obvious she was unhappy over losing, but what could a single Japanese girl expect when confronting one who was a champion of the Amazons? Still, Shampoo felt there was something she could do to help the one who had given her a roof over her head._

_“Akane have good strength and skill. Just need work harder,” Shampoo assured her. “Make deal with you. Same deal Shampoo have with Ranma. Shampoo help you with Amazon techniques if you help Shampoo with Anything Goes Martial Arts.”_

_“Sure,” Akane said enthusiastically, then thought about what was just said. “Wait a minute. Ranma is teaching you?”_

_Shampoo nodded. “Ranma and Pop teach Shampoo their fighting techniques, so Shampoo teach hers back. Is even trade that make all of us better warriors.”_

_Akane looked quizzically at her. “Why do you call Mr. Saotome Pop?”_

_Ranma interrupted the answer Shampoo was about to give. “Back when we first met Shampoo her Japanese was really bad, even worse than it is now.” He missed the dirty look Shampoo shot in his direction. “She heard me call him Pop and thought that was his name. She just calls him that ever since. He doesn’t seem to mind.”_

_Akane at last felt the time was right to ask the question that had been nagging her since the other night. “Why do you travel with them?”_

_Shampoo gave her a depressed look. “Shampoo have nowhere else to go.”_

_Ranma noticed the change in emotion. Shampoo always got that way when she thought of her home. He still didn’t know the full details of why she couldn’t go back, but he respected her privacy. Besides, he liked having her around. It beat the heck out of having to put up with his old man all the time. At last he had someone his own age to talk to, even if communicating with her was difficult. And that she knew martial arts, was good enough to press him every time, and he could learn new moves from her, was great._

_Ranma felt the urge to cheer her up. He had seen that look way too many times for his liking, though it had been appearing less frequently of late. “Hey, like me and Pop said, you can stay with us as long as you want. We’re happy to have you.”_

_Shampoo cheered up at that. “Shampoo thank Ranma.”_

_“It ain’t nothing,” Ranma said dismissively, suddenly uncomfortable with the gratitude._

_“We’re happy to have you here as well,” Akane added._

_Shampoo looked surprised, then smiled at Akane. “Thank you very much.”_

_Ranma decided to change the topic. Things were getting too sentimental for his taste. “Now why don’t you show us how you do that move. You know that kick you do in mid-air.”_

_A couple of hours after a vigorous sparring session, the trio entered the house and cleaned up, in much better spirits than before. Akane even relented on her opinion of Ranma a little. He wasn’t all that bad, especially when talking about martial arts. He was a bit egotistical about it, which was annoying, but overall it had been time well spent._

_All three were feeling hungry and they went to the kitchen to grab something to eat._

_“Hey, Kasumi! Is dinner ready yet?” Akane knew it was early, but she was just as hungry as her guests and hoped there was at least an appetizer laying around._

_Nabiki’s voice came out from around the corner. “Kasumi left to return some books to Dr. Tofu. She said she’d be back in time to make dinner.”_

_Akane couldn’t believe her luck. Now she had a chance to impress her new friends. “I’ll cook us dinner.”_

_“You no mind?” Shampoo asked._

_Akane was practically bouncing with joy. “No, I love to cook. Just wait until you see what I make for you.”_

_Ranma and Shampoo thanked her and left her alone in the kitchen, unaware of the terrible mistake they had made._

_An hour later, everyone but Kasumi and Akane found themselves sitting at the table, waiting for dinner. They didn’t have long to wait as Akane entered from the kitchen, bearing a tray._

_Soun looked nervously at what was on the tray. “A…Akane, did you make this?”_

_“Yep!” she happily showed it to him._

_In contrast to her father, Nabiki stood up calmly and stated, “I just remembered, Daddy asked me to help fix the roof.”_

_“He asked you to do that two months ago,” Akane pointed out._

_“Which means I had better get on it.” Nabiki left the room without a backward glance._

_“I have to teach some students.” Soun said as he quickly got to his feet._

_“Dad, you don’t have any students.”_

_“Time to get some then.” Soun was out of the room in less than a heartbeat._

_Genma scratched his chin. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say they are leaving to avoid your cooking.”_

_“They are,” Akane reluctantly admitted. “Some people think I’m a pretty bad cook, but I know I’ve gotten a lot better since the last time I made something. I’ve been practicing really hard.”_

_“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Ranma reassured her. “It can’t be as bad as Pop’s cooking.”_

_Shampoo nodded her head in agreement. “Pop cook awful.”_

_Genma looked stunned. “I didn’t hear you complain, boy.”_

_“That’s because you never listened to me!”_

_“Then you’re willing to try it?” Akane looked on in hope._

_The trio nodded, much to her delight. She knew she had made them a meal they would never forget. With as much flair as she could, Akane set down the tray with the dish on it._

_Shampoo looked at the tray. “Oh. Akane cook armadillo for us.”_

_“That’s not an armadillo,” Akane corrected. “It’s cod.”_

_“What’s this armor plate on it?” Ranma asked as he poked it with a fork. He had thought it was turtle of some kind._

_“Those are noodles.”_

_“They look a bit hard,” Genma said as he too evaluated the dish. “Are you sure you followed the recipe?”_

_“Yep.” Of course she had. It was one she had made up. She indicated that the trio should dig in._

_The three looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Ranma and Shampoo believing that at the worst it would rival Genma’s cooking._

_Ranma attempted to cut through the armorlike substance with a knife. Seeing that didn’t work, Shampoo went to her room to recover her sword and brought it down hard on the armor. The tremendous blow was enough to crack the shell. However, as she withdrew her blade, she noticed there were nicks and chinks missing from it. She began wondering if trying the food was such a good idea._

_All three of them received their servings and took a bite at the same time. Akane watched them expectantly, waiting for the accolades they would (hopefully) bestow upon her._

_Genma began gagging, Ranma belched smoke, and Shampoo turned green. Those were not the reactions Akane had expected_

_Shampoo managed to shake off the effects first and grabbed Akane by the collar. “Why Akane poison Shampoo? Shampoo thought we friends.”_

_Akane got out of the grasp and stared at Shampoo. “Poison? You have go to be kidding.” To prove her point, she took a bite of the substance. Upon swallowing the bite, she fell over and passed out. Fortunately, Shampoo, and the recovered Ranma, caught her before she hit the ground._

_“Guess even she doesn’t know how bad she cooks,” Ranma said as she made certain Akane was all right._

_A little while later, Kasumi returned home. Dr. Tofu had acted silly once more, which was just what Kasumi needed to cheer her up. She had enjoyed the doctor's goofiness so much that she had lost track of the time, and realized she was going to be serving dinner late. She had rushed home as quickly as she could, to what was a disturbingly quiet house. It wasn’t until she made her way down one of the halls that she saw Soun and Nabiki looking into the Saotomes’ makeshift bedroom._

_“What’s going on?” Kasumi asked._

_Nabiki turned to her sister. “They tried some of Akane’s cooking. She tried some too, but she’s feeling better now. Guess she’s building up a resistance to the poisoning.”_

_“Oh no! I’d better help Shampoo.” She paused a moment, realizing what she had just said. “And the Saotomes as well, of course.”_

_Living with Akane and the results of her attempts at cooking made Kasumi prepared for such event. She had all of the material she needed to settle their stomachs. Nabiki couldn’t help noting that Kasumi helped Shampoo first and doted on her the most._

_The next day, as the recovered duo made their way to school, they were still irate that no one had warned them about Akane’s cooking. When Ranma noted that Nabiki had left ahead of them again, Akane just said she had given some mysterious answer about having to meet some people._

_Upon arriving at school, Akane prepared herself as she saw that the boys were waiting for her, as usual. She watched them carefully. They were about to make their move when a group of girls, twice as large as the boys, appeared directly behind the first group. Voices began to erupt from the new female crowd._

_“There he is!”_

_“All right! He showed up!”_

_“You’re right. He is good looking. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to introduce myself to him yesterday.”_

_One of the girls stepped forward._

_“Ranma, is it true?”_

_Shampoo-kun looked at the crowd in confusion. It took a moment for him to remember that on school grounds he was ‘Ranma’. “Is what true?”_

_“That if someone defeats you in combat you have to date them?”_

_Shampoo-kun stared at the girl in bewilderment, wondering where she had heard that particular piece of information. “Yes, but Sh…Ranma no can date you.”_

_Nabiki was suddenly at the Amazon’s side. “Au contraire, you can and you do.”_

_Shampoo-kun couldn’t understand why Nabiki was saying such a thing, until it all fit into place. So that was who had informed the girls of that little rule. Shampoo-kun suppressed the urge to pound the annoying girl. She wasn’t a warrior and Ranma might get into trouble if Shampoo-kun started beating up the people they were staying with, even if they deserved it._

_The Amazon began whispering, “But no can go out with girl, Shampoo girl.”_

_“Not now you aren’t,” Nabiki reminded him as she brushed her hand against his crotch. “You’re a boy. And you said if a girl challenges a boy, they have to accept or it’s a great dishonor. Besides it won’t matter unless you lose. Surely a tough Amazon like yourself can take on a bunch of untrained girls and beat them easily.”_

_As reluctant as he was to admit it, backing down simply wasn’t his style. It was a matter of pride that he show the world that a single Amazon warrior, even when cursed to a male body, was more powerful than a handful of weak Japanese girls._

_“Well, is it true?” one of the girls asked as she bit her nails in anticipation._

_“Yes. It true.”_

_A sudden cheer broke out from the horde of females as they raced forward and trampled the group of boys in their haste to attack Shampoo-kun. Suddenly the Amazon wasn’t so sure taking on close to fifty combatants at the same time was such a hot idea after all…_

_Shampoo-kun stood motionless, chest heaving, as he caught his breath. He was going to have to reevaluate his opinion on how ‘weak’ Japanese girls were. It appeared they weren’t really all that different from Joketsuzoku warriors who saw a man that caught their eye; they just didn’t go about quite as heavily armed. The female students had fought like a pack of rabid dogs over a bone in their efforts to defeat Shampoo-kun. They had been a tenacious lot, and Shampoo-kun would have admired their determination if he hadn’t been the bone of contention._

_The quick check to evaluate what damage had been inflicted on him by the horde was interrupted by a loud declaration._

_“So, Saotome, truly you have proven that you possess no honor!” Kunou raised his bokken before him. “That you would beat up defenseless women so that they would fall into your clutches gives release to my righteous anger!”_

_“Is that righteous anger, or lustful envy, Kunou baby?” Nabiki asked from the sidelines._

_“Be silent woman, lest you make me lose my place!” Kunou face contorted as he tried to remember where he had left off. “Now it falls to me to defend those too weak to defend themselves! I would smite thee!”_

_Shampoo-kun found himself immediately set upon. Under ordinary circumstances he would have been able to dispatch Kunou with ease, but having previously fought an unexpected battle royal with close to fifty girls had left him considerably weakened, making it far closer to an even fight._

_Ranma-chan watched the battle with a close eye, also realizing the fight was going to be far closer than it should have been. The time spent with Shampoo-kun had given Ranma-chan enough insight into the Amazon’s mind that he would react just as happily at someone interfering in his fight as Ranma-chan would. She had to find some excuse that would allow her to interfere with the fight while maintaining the Amazon’s pride._

_“Got it!” she whispered under her breath, then said much more loudly, as though reading lines for a script. “We don’t have time for this. We’ll be late for class, we can’t afford to get into trouble.”_

_She back kicked Kunou in the head and sent him flying towards Akane, who reflexively caught him._

_Kunou’s fury died when he saw into whose arms he had landed. “Ah! Akane Tendou. To go to such great lengths to save me leaves me no choice. You may date me.”_

_“No thanks.” She belted Kunou high into the sky and sent him far away. Seeing no other combatants, the group headed to their classrooms while there was still time._

_The next day found the cycle repeating itself. The only differences were that the boys, who had been trampled once again, complained quite loudly that getting beaten up before facing Akane was just not worth it and vowed to give up their morning ritual. The fight with the horde of girls didn’t last as long either. This time Shampoo-kun had come prepared by warming up beforehand and bringing his pair of bonbori._

_And of course, much to the delight of everyone, Kunou appeared._

_“Once again it falls to me to defend the honor of those too helpless to defend themselves! I would smite thee!”_

_“My turn.” Akane rushed over to Kunou and hit him into Ranma-chan, who reflexively caught the flying kendoist._

_“Ah! Shampoo. To go to such great lengths to save me leaves me no choice. You may date me.”_

_“Couldn’t you at least come up with an original line?!” Ranma-chan proceeded to belt Kunou into the stratosphere as well, making certain to point out to Akane that she had bashed him a lot farther than the youngest Tendou had the previous day._

_Akane sat down and enjoyed her lunch away from Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun. She was still fuming at the redhead for grumbling about Kunou using the same line on her as he had on Akane. ‘After all, I’m much better looking than you are. I just think he could have said something a lot more flattering,’ Ranma-chan had said._

_After that blatant insult, Akane wanted nothing to do with the Ranma-chan for a while, so she ate with two of her other friends. As she dined with them, she took note of the bandages on their faces._

_“Why did you guys attack Sh…Ranma anyway?”_

_Sayuri gained a wistful look. “Well, he is the most handsome guy in the school.”_

_Chisa, a new transfer student Akane had made friends with, gained an equally far off look. “I just love the way he refers to himself in the third person.”_

_“Besides, if the boys can do it to win a date with you, why can’t we do it for some really cute guy?” Sayuri said._

_“Yeah! Equal opportunity!” Chisa said._

_Sayuri suddenly became serious. “That reminds me, Akane, just what connection do you have with Ranma?”_

_With the name ‘Ranma’ being said, her thoughts drifted to what had happened to her since the water-changing fiancé had entered her life. That caused her to forget the name change as she answered the question seriously. “Our dumb fathers decided to engage us, but I hate it.”_

_Chisa suddenly looked hopeful. “Well, if you two aren’t getting along, would you mind if we go out with Ranma?”_

_“I don’t care about him! I don’t!” Akane snapped, then shouted out. “The whole school could date Ranma! It doesn’t matter to me!”_

_Shampoo-kun and Ranma-chan turned to the disturbance. Ranma-chan muttered under her breath about losing the engagement as some kind of defense to keep the girls off of the Amazon’s back._

_“You didn’t have to shout it out so loud.”_

_“I told you I’m sorry,” Akane said sincerely. “It slipped my mind for a moment.”_

_“Yeah, well poor Shampoo’s going to pay the price,” Ranma-chan continued to scold._

_Not wishing to hear the duo continue squabbling the entire way back, Shampoo-kun tried to change the subject. “Shampoo always used to think not need school, that it make person weak. Training is what supposed to make warrior strong, but Shampoo fight harder in school than when train.”_

_“Can’t argue with that,” Ranma-chan said, then caught a glimpse of movement from above._

_“Look out!” She grabbed both of her companions under her arms and leaped out of the way, just in time to avoid a girl that jumped down from some wires above the street, from bringing a giant club down on top of them._

_“Darn!” the girl cursed. “I almost had him.”_

_Ranma-chan recognized the Furinkan school uniform the girl was wearing, but could not place the face. “Why did you attack us?”_

_“I wasn’t trying to attack you, Shampoo,” the girl reassured her. “I was trying to hit Ranma.”_

_“Why?”_

_The girl shrugged. “I figured if I could ambush him I’d knock him out and date him, but you had to pull him out of the way. Don’t tell me you’re interested in him too. Are you?”_

_Ranma-chan suddenly became defensive. “Of course not! I don’t date guys!”_

_That got him a whack in the back of the head from Shampoo-kun._

_“I meant I’m not dating someone like Shampoo, I mean Ranma. Not that he isn’t a great guy, errr, sort of.”_

_The girl looked suspiciously at Ranma-chan. “So does that mean you only date girls?”_

_“Yes.”_

_The girl raised her eyebrows. “So you’re a lesbian?”_

_“I am not a lesbian!” Ranma-chan shouted._

_“But you just said you date girls.”_

_“Yes. I mean no. I mean…”_

_“You mean you go both ways, like Ai?” the girl asked._

_“Who’s Ai?” Ranma-chan asked, trying to remember if he had heard the name somewhere in school or not._

_“Someone that you will hopefully never have to meet,” Akane said as she grabbed Ranma-chan by the arm and took her away before she made the situation even more confusing._

_“So does that mean she’s interested in Ranma, or maybe me?” The girl gave a shudder at that as she turned to see Shampoo-kun had remained behind. “Oh, are you going to walk me home?” the girl said, full of hope._

_“No, but Ranma in nice mood, so help you home. Which way is house and how far is it?”_

_That was close enough for the girl, who told the Amazon how far away it was and pointed in the direction._

_“Ranma think he got it, bye-bye.”_

_Shampoo-kun punted the girl in the direction of her house. There was no way he was going to allow ambushes like that to go unpunished._

_Shampoo-kun caught up to the others. “Shampoo think Japanese girls too persistent. Remind Shampoo of Mousse.” He was about to continue on when he noticed the other two had stopped in front of him. “What wrong?”_

_Akane pointed to the rope snare that was laying in the middle of the road. The rope led down to a closed manhole cover._

_Ranma-chan just shook her head in disbelief. “Who would be stupid enough to fall for that?”_

_Mousse jumped down from the roof of a nearby building and landed in the street, setting down in the middle of the rope snare._

_“That was a rhetorical question,” Ranma-chan mumbled under her breath._

_“At last I have found you, Saotome. You have eluded me for the last time.” To his credit, Mousse had his glasses down for a change and was pointing at the correct figure. “For abducting Shampoo—“_

_Shampoo-kun shook his head. “Ranma no abd…abde…no take Shampoo against will!”_

_“For callously cursing her with Nanniichuan—“_

_“That Mousse’s fault for making fight at cursed spring!”_

_“For poisoning her mind against me—“_

_“Shampoo no like Mousse before she ever meet Ranma!”_

_“For taking advantage of her innocence—“_

_“Shampoo not innocent!”_

_Ranma-chan, Akane and Mousse all gave him a surprised stare._

_Shampoo-kun took a moment to reevaluate what had been said. “Shampoo mean she not taken advantage of by Ranma. Shampoo innocent.”_

_Mousse breathed a sigh of relief, then continued. “For all of these unforgivable crimes, prepare to die!”_

_It was at that moment that the rope snare was pulled upon as it wrapped itself around Mousse’s ankle. Caught off-guard by the attack from an unsuspected quarter, he found himself dragged through the manhole cover and into the sewers. A moment later, the sounds of a woman striking someone with instruments of blunt trauma came from below._

_“At last I have you, Ranma! Now you must date me!”_

_“I’m not Ranma! What are you, blind?!”_

_“That disguise can’t fool me! Fall!”_

_The trio still above ground left in disgust. There were no further ambushes as they made their way back to the Tendou house._

_“I can’t believe we were attacked like that,” Akane said as she opened the door to the house and announced the students’ return._

_“No need worry,” Shampoo-kun said casually. “We safe at home now, except for girl behind door with baseball bat.”_

_It took a moment for what Shampoo-kun said to actually register with him. Only quick reflexes saved him from being struck by the powerful swing the girl leveled at him. As he sidestepped the blow he lashed out with his fist, connecting with the girl’s jaw and knocking her out._

_The trio made their way into the living room only to have the table seemingly launch itself at Shampoo-kun. As Shampoo-kun deftly caught the table Ranma-chan leaped over it and knocked out the girl that threw it._

_“Okay, the house is swarming with girls desperate to get a date,” Ranma-chan said as she took a quick look around the room. “Good thing I didn’t go to school as a guy. They’d come after me twice as hard. Hehehe…”_

_Her laugh trailed off as she saw the two scowls her companions gave. Shampoo-kun because he felt offended by the implication that Ranma was more handsome than him. Akane just on the general principle that no one should be that egotistical._

_“Great. Let’s see if there are any more surprises.” Ranma-chan said, hoping to make the duo stop staring evilly at her._

_A sweep of the house revealed four more girls lying in wait. After disposing of them, the cursed ones grabbed some hot water and went back to their real sexes. The trio reconvened in the living room, where Nabiki and Kasumi waited for them._

_“How the heck did they get in here?” Ranma grumbled. Fighting wasn’t the problem, it was the idea that he was never going to have a moments peace if he didn’t have some place he could rest safely._

_“Oh, I let them in.”_

_Everyone looked incredulously at Kasumi._

_“Why?” Akane managed to get out._

_Kasumi continued smiling pleasantly. “They asked if they could ambush Ranma. They were so polite and nice I just couldn’t say no.”_

_“I can’t believe you did that,” Ranma said, irritated._

_“I can’t believe you didn’t charge them,” Nabiki said just as irritably._

_“You do realize they really mean Shampoo, don’t you?” Akane pointed out._

_Kasumi’s hands suddenly darted to her face in shame. “Oh my! That’s different. I can’t let them do that.”_

_“How is it different they attack her instead of me?!” Ranma growled as Kasami began apologizing to Shampoo._

_“How indeed?” Nabiki added as she carefully watched her sister._

_The doorbell rang, interrupting further conversations and causing everyone to look at it suspiciously. Ranma got into a battle stance. “It could be a trick. I say we don’t any chances. Let’s take ‘em out.”_

_“Now, Ranma,” Kasumi scolded. “It’s impolite to attack someone without finding out why they are here for first.” She went up to the door, the other following closely. “Who is it?”_

_“Floral delivery,” the male voice on the other side said._

_“Oh well, that’s all right.” Kasumi opened the door and let him in._

_The delivery man held out a beautiful bouquet of flowers and read off a card. “Flowers for Akane Tendou.”_

_Akane was immediately enchanted. “Oh, they’re beautiful.” She tipped the man, then read the card. Enchantment became annoyance in the blink of an eye. “Oh, they’re from Kunou.” She slammed the door in the delivery man’s face._

_A moment later, the doorbell rang again._

_“Who is it?” Kasumi asked again._

_“Floral delivery.”_

_Everyone, save Kasumi, looked confused at the door. It did sound like the same man’s voice._

_It was indeed him bearing yet another bouquet. “Flowers for Shampoo.”_

_“That me.” Shampoo took them._

_“Why didn’t you deliver both of them before?” Akane asked the man._

_He shrugged. “I didn’t know they were for the same house…”_

_Shampoo read the card and subsequently became as disgusted as Akane. “These from Kunou too. That mean they for Ranma-Shampoo, not Shampoo-Ranma.” She handed the flowers to Ranma._

_“ …or from the same guy,” the delivery man finished._

_Ranma thanked Shampoo dryly for the ‘gift’._

_“He sends flowers to a man and woman living in the same house? Weird.” The delivery man left._

_Akane just looked at Ranma, then said sarcastically. “You look so cute with those flowers in your hand.”_

_“Hey, at least he didn’t waste them on a violent thug like you this time.”_

_“Why you!” Akane picked up a vase and hurled it at Ranma. The throw was on target as it crashed into his head, breaking easily and splashing water on Ranma and Shampoo, who was standing close behind him. Both of them changed just as the doorbell rang again._

_Kasumi let the delivery man in for the third time. “Flowers for Ranma.” he held out a bouquet of decidedly dead flowers._

_Shampoo-kun took the flowers and read the card. “These from Kunou too. Says want to fight Ranma behind school two days from now.”_

_“I’ll kill him,” Ranma-chan growled._

_Akane sighed. “He means Shampoo.”_

_“Oh, yeah.”_

_At last the delivery man realized that Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun were wearing the same clothes, but were different sexes. He looked at Ranma-chan. “Weren’t you a guy before?”_

_“Yeah. So?!” Ranma-chan snapped._

_“Never mind.” He handed Akane back her tip and ran to his truck as fast as he could. His mother had been right. The floral delivery business was full of nothing but weirdoes. He felt he was in luck as the next one sounded like it was okay, and Tomobiki was really close to where he was too._

_Ranma-chan tossed the three sets of flowers in the trash and asked Shampoo-kun if he wanted to spar. Shampoo-kun readily agreed, and the two grabbed some hot water went to spar. After cooling off for a bit, Akane joined them._

_The session had gone on well, but only for a brief time. They had only been sparring for ten minutes when Nabiki entered and promptly threw a bucket of cold water on them._

_“Whad’ya do that for?!” The constant changing back and forth was really starting to get on Ranma-chan’s nerves._

_Nabiki began her explanation in a tired voice, as though stating something Ranma should have known. “Shampoo gets jumped every day by a bunch of girls while she’s in her cursed form. She should get used to fighting in it. Since she’ll be fighting girls, you should be one so it’ll help her.”_

_Both of them looked at Nabiki suspiciously but agreed. It did make sense, although there was just something wrong about Nabiki being the one to point it out._

_“Thanks for looking out for us, I guess. Even if you are responsible for the whole mess,” Ranma-chan said as she and Shampoo-kun began to spar once again._

_“I’ll be doing more than looking out,” Nabiki said under her breath as she left the room. Once out of sight, she grabbed one of her cameras and hid under one of the windows next to the dojo. She started taking pictures of Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun sparring, just as she had in the past with Akane. Oh, how grateful she was at the delivery of the two sex changing martial artists in her hands. Ranma, and especially Shampoo, were really starting to grow on her._

_Hours later, Ranma reviewed the day as he headed for bed. The constant attacks made school significantly more interesting, but he could feel they were going to wear pretty thin rather quickly. At least he wasn’t the center of attention. Of course, he also felt a little down because of that too, but it appeared to him that the whole situation was more trouble than it was worth._

_Genma’s voice drifted from the living room where he was playing shogi with Soun. “What do you think you’re doing, Ranma?”_

_“Heading for bed,” Ranma shouted back as he opened the door to his room while still looking down the hall in the direction of where his father was. “Is that all right?”_

_Ranma had been so distracted by his father annoying him that he failed to notice the metal poker swung at his head by the girl standing behind the door. The blow connected solidly, knocking him unconscious._

_The brown-haired girl began jumping up for joy. “Yes! I got you now Ran…” she trailed off as she looked at the prone figure before her. It was not Ranma. She was looking about in confusion, wondering where the real Ranma was, when Genma walked to the bedroom._

_“What’s going on?” he asked, mentally berating the boy for falling asleep in the doorway. Stepping over him was inconvenient._

_“I thought I heard you call out Ranma’s name,” the girl said._

_“Of course I did,” Genma said as he pointed to his son. “That’s Ranma.”_

_Something inside Genma’s mind suddenly clicked. The clothing the girl was wearing was familiar, and he had been told by both Akane and Ranma what the situation was at school. He didn’t like it, but the last thing in the world he needed was for everyone to know that Ranma was cursed to turn into something that was less than a man among men._

_“Are you from Furinkan?” he asked, hoping against hope he was wrong._

_The girl nodded her head._

_He had to think fast. “Then this Ranma is Shampoo’s brother.” He picked up the unconscious Ranma by his shirt collar to show to the girl. “He most definitely is not Ranma Saotome.” Genma had to pat himself on the back for his quick thinking. He had managed to get out of that particular predicament fairly easily. Now all he had to do was tell the others at the first available opportunity._

_The girl looked incredulously at Genma. “He’s Shampoo’s brother?” she took a closer look and had to admit, there was a very distinct resemblance between the two of them. “Tell him I’m sorry for knocking him out.” She headed further into the house in search of her quarry, the ‘real’ Ranma Saotome._

_Her wanderings eventually led her to the kitchen, where Kasumi and Shampoo were sitting and talking peacefully. Upon seeing Shampoo for the first time, she noticed the strong resemblance between her and the Ranma she wanted to go out with. “Hello, ah, who are you?” she asked Shampoo._

_Like Genma Saotome before her, Shampoo forgot about her secret identity. “Am Shampoo.” Almost as soon as the words left her mouth she realized the horrible mistake she had made. She knew she had to think fast. “Am Shampoo Saotome. Ranma Saotome sister.”_

_Whereas the girl had been somewhat confused with the ‘Shampoo has a brother named Ranma’ bit from before, now she was absolutely bewildered. “Let me get this straight, Ranma has a sister named Shampoo and Shampoo has a brother named Ranma?”_

_Shampoo nodded._

_It had to be the biggest coincidence in the world. “You do look a lot like your brother.” And with that, the girl walked off, terribly confused. She didn’t even realize that she had failed to find the Ranma she had been looking for, so she moved on._

_The events going on downstairs had gone unnoticed by Akane. After a quick bath she headed directly for her bedroom and laid down, intent on doing nothing but catching up on her sleep. As her head hit the pillow, her eyes looked upward just in time to see a girl with jet black hair hanging up in the rafters, mallet in hand._

_“I’ve got you now, Ranma!”_

_The girl released her hold almost the instant Akane lay down. The youngest Tendou barely had enough time to get out of the way of the descending mallet as the girl hit the mattress with her club._

_Akane slapped the mallet out of the girl's hands then grabbed her by the shirt. “What on earth do you think you are doing?”_

_“This isn’t Ranma’s room?” the girl asked._

_“NO!!!”_

_“I’m sorry then.” The girl tried to bow in spite of the fact she was still being held by the collar by Akane._

_“At least you got one thing right,” Akane said as she belted the girl out the window._

_“Where’s Nabiki?” Ranma-chan asked as she, Akane, and Shampoo-kun made their way to yet another day of school. The headache that had been bothering Ranma-chan the night before was gone. If she hadn’t known any better, she would have sworn that someone had hit her in the head with a lead pipe or something._

_“She left early again today,” Akane answered, though why she had left so quickly was a mystery. It was just as Akane had been waking up that she heard her older sister say good-bye and left the house._

_As the trio arrived at school, they saw a podium and microphone set up in the school yard. Dozens of girls, and Kunou, stood in front of the structure while they looked on with keen interest at the speaker at the podium._

_“What’s she up to now?” Akane said as she watched Nabiki go through a microphone test, then begin._

_“I have here pictures of the handsome and bold Ranma in intense physical workouts.” Nabiki held up the photos for all to see, giving them just the barest glimpse of the quality of the shots. In a flash they disappeared from view as she cleared her throat. “Now who will start the bidding for these once in a lifetime photographs?”_

_“I bid 500 yen,” one of the girls cried out._

_“750 yen.”_

_“1000 yen!”_

_Kunou looked on in irritation as the scene unfolded before him. Obviously the accursed Saotome had ensorcelled the girls into worshipping false idols of the youth. What audacity he had to engage in such behaviors before one as mighty as the great Tatewaki Kunou. One other explanation was also needed._

_“Why have you summoned me here, Nabiki Tendou? I have no desire to purchase pictures of the accursed Ranma Saotome.” Unless it was to use them as target practice for his bokken thrusts._

_“I also have pictures of Akane and Shampoo.” A different group of photos appeared in her other hand._

_“Sold! No price can be too much for portraits of my two true loves.”_

_“Music to my ears, Kunou baby. Music to my ears.”_

_“I think I see why Nabiki is leaving early,” Ranma-chan commented dryly._

_“Is she always like this?” Shampoo-kun asked Akane._

_“Pretty much,” Akane sighed, although there was going to be some discussion as to the selling of photos of her without any express consent on her part._

_“At least the auction has all of the girls’ attention and gives us the day off,” Ranma-chan pointed out as the trio entered the school with no delays, for a change._

_Shampoo-kun looked over the streets carefully as he made his way home. The school day had gone on without any major problems, for a change. However, Akane and Ranma-chan had been snagged into cleaning the classroom after school, which meant Shampoo-kun was going to have to make a go of it alone. That was cause for concern since girls now had the tendency to try to ambush him every step of the way home. The only good thing about the whole situation was that at least he was getting extensive training in his trap detection skills. Some of the things the girls came up with were downright creative, and made Shampoo-kun stay on his toes._

_“Shampoo have no doubt. School make for better warrior than before,” he said as he took a long roundabout way to his new home. By some miracle, he didn’t have to deal with a single female the entire way. He just hoped the same could be said for the next day when he had to risk returning from school once more._

_Despite Kasumi’s repeated assurances from the day before about not letting any girls in the house, Shampoo-kun entered carefully and began a quiet inspection of the building. He didn’t have to search long since the moment he placed his foot on the first step leading upstairs a dozen armed girls came charging after him._

_The Amazon ran away at top speed. He had just enough time to cry out, “hot water!” to Kasumi._

_Kasumi handed him the hot kettle she had going, and he quickly poured the contents over his head in time. The ‘strike team’ of girls arrived just as the transformation was complete._

_“Where did Ranma go?” one of the girls asked._

_“Him go that way.” Shampoo pointed outside. “If hurry, Japanese girls might catch.”_

_One of the girls thanked Shampoo as the group headed out in pursuit of their prey, much to Shampoo’s relief._

_It was no more than ten minutes later when Ranma-chan and Akane finally arrived home and were informed of what happened._

_“How did they get in this time?” Akane asked._

_Kasumi looked Shampoo straight in the eye. “I didn’t do it. I swear.”_

_“Shampoo believe Kasumi. Also not sure how annoying girls get in.”_

_“Don’t look at me,” Ranma-chan said defensively before anyone started blaming her, like they almost always did._

_Nabiki walked past during the quartet’s discussion, happily counting a large wad of bills in hand. It took only a moment for her to sense all of the eyes that had turned towards her. “What?”_

_“Where did you get the money?” Ranma-chan asked suspiciously._

_“I remembered to charge an entry fee for the Ranma festivities today.” Nabiki waved the bills towards everyone for emphasis._

_“How could you—“ Ranma-chan found her accusation cut off by Kasumi of all people._

_“Nabiki, I am very cross with you.”_

_That Kasumi had said such ‘harsh’ words directed at her immediately caught Nabiki’s attention. Surprisingly, she found they stung far worse than any insult she could remember, and she had heard many epithets directed towards her over the years._

_“You…are?” It was not so much that Kasumi appeared angry, as much as displeased, and once again Nabiki found herself squirming under that gaze._

_“Yes, I am,” Kasumi answered. “Shampoo and the Saotomes are our guests. I want you to treat them with honor and respect. You are not to allow anyone else in to ambush Shampoo.”_

_Nabiki’s instincts begged her not to give in, that it was way too lucrative a deal to just ignore, but her sisterly instincts came to the forefront. Kasumi’s continued happiness outweighed what material gains she could make in pricey ambushes._

_“All right, I will.”_

_“Thank you, Nabiki.” Kasumi’s expression went back to its normal happy one._

_Nabiki found herself rather pleased that she had done what most would consider the ‘right’ thing. Who said she couldn’t stand on the moral high ground? She could do the right thing when it mattered._

_Besides, there were still plenty of other ways to make money off of Shampoo._

_Shampoo-kun had assumed the Saturday Kunou challenge match behind the school was supposed to be a private affair that would have nothing more than perhaps a handful of spectators. After all, it wasn’t as though it was any different from the usual morning encounters with the bokken wielding fool. That was why it was such a surprise to see temporary bleachers, packed to overflowing with students, set up behind the field. From where he stood, Shampoo-kun could see Nabiki and her band of cohorts working the crowd, taking bets on the outcome of the fight and selling concessions at prices worse than most movie theaters. Shampoo-kun made a mental note to never underestimate the very tricky ‘mercenary girl.’ She had a mind like a steel trap, especially when it came to money. It was difficult to believe that she could be related in any way to the kind-hearted Kasumi, who was sitting in the crowded bleachers, waving at Shampoo-kun and wishing him luck._

_Akane, who stood next to Shampoo-kun, looked at the spectacle that was before her and shook her head sadly. It was going to be the usual massacre. Why anyone would get excited by that was beyond Akane. The whole thing was nothing more than a tribute to the skills of her sister’s promotion of the fight that had been built up the day before in school._

_It was nice to see Nabiki had apparently warmed up to the idea of having house guests._

_Ranma-chan, who also stood next to the other two, felt the same way. She looked across the field at Kunou. He was already pontificating about what he was going to do to the ‘Foul Saotome’ (and the day might have been coming when Ranma-chan herself was going to take exception to that remark. She was the real Saotome, after all.) It was going to be a massacre._

_Kunou was ecstatic at the turnout for his most magnificent match to date. Even the usual turnout at the school’s kendo matches never netted this big a crowd. “Ah! To hear the student body cheer me on is bliss.” He came out of his fantasy to listen to what rousing cheers were being shouted in his name._

_“This is where you get your arrogant head kicked in, Kunou!”_

_“I hope Ranma breaks your arms!”_

_“I hope he breaks your mouth!”_

_“If you lay one hand on Ranma, you’ll be sorry!”_

_Kunou began seething at the vile words being spat out by the student body. Saotome had somehow ensorcelled the crowd against him. Yet another crime against his noble personage. Would the insults never stop?_

_“You will pay for this indignity, vile sorcerer!”_

_Ranma-chan just shook her head. How could anyone possibly be that clueless?_

_Shampoo-kun warmed up quickly, and the two opponents headed to the middle of the field to begin the duel. Even with the fight being against someone so ridiculously foolish, the Amazon felt his blood rush and nerves stand on edge. It was just like the tournaments back home. That it was Japanese people instead of Joketsuzoku warriors made no difference. Cries of excitement were the same in any language._

_He took a deep breath to regain his focus. It fell into place in an instant, and his bonboris came up into an attack position._

_Kunou opened with a flurry of strikes which Shampoo-kun easily blocked. Shampoo-kun’s counter came following tight on the heels of Kunou’s offensive. In spite of his ‘buffoon’ status, his skills at armed combat were considerable, and he managed to parry all of the strikes._

_The battle went back and forth like that twice before Kunou saw an opening in Shampoo-kun’s defense and took advantage of it. A lightning fast strike managed to knock one of the bonboris out of Shampoo-kun’s hand._

_“Ah ha! I have disarmed you.” Kunou moved in for the kill._

_*WHAM*_

_The trap Shampoo-kun had lain was successful. Kunou’s bokken went flying as Shampoo-kun knocked it out of his hands._

_“How dare you disarm the great Tatewaki Kunou!”_

_*WHAM*_

_“How dare you bludgeon the great Tatewaki Kunou into unconsciousness!”_

_He managed to stare at the bonbori, still planted on his head, for two more seconds before passing out._

_Shampoo-kun found his hand raised high in the air by the announcer and declared the winner. A smile found its way to his face as he basked in all the glory. In the days that he had found himself under the roof of the Tendou Dojo, he had been engaged to a girl, started school, been declared a male before the student body, had been challenged by dozens of females who sought to date him, and been attacked by a poetry spouting buffoon._

_It appeared he had somehow been blessed/cursed with living in interesting times. It was all kind of fun, in some perverse sort of way. He thought he could grow to like Nerima._

_Epilogue_

_He looked at the tall structure before him. It might have been Tokyo Tower, or maybe it was the Eiffel Tower. He had come across both in his travels, and they looked enough alike to him._

_“But it isn’t Nerima, and that’s the only place I need to find.” And once he located it, vengeance would be his._

_He looked around once more and tried to decide on a course of action. He could ask for directions again, but that almost never worked. However, the alternative…_

_“No! I have to do it, no matter how degrading it is. Revenge is all that matters.” He looked sorrowfully at the fountain that was next to him. He gave one last thought to resolve what he was about to do. He was ready._

_“I’m coming for you, Ranma Saotome!”_

_And with that Ryouga Hibiki jumped quite willingly into the fountain._

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Special thanks to_

_Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Bloodblade  
Jurai Knight  
Gary Kleppe  
Ben Landman  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Wade Tritschler_


	2. Ryouga and roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryouga has changes of his own, Furinkan's Martial Arts Cheerleaders cut their tour short, and Kodachi appears.

Ranma ½ Presents:  
Shampoo ½  
Chapter 2

Ryouga and Roses

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don’t own any of the Ranma ½ characters or any from other series mentioned in this story.

An Alternate Universe:  
(What’s gone on before: In the beginning, Ranma and Genma went to Jusenkyou. They started sparring, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse were already engaged in a duel as well. One mid-air collision and a dunking in spring of drowned man later, we get a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. So Ranma-chan= female. Shampoo-kun= male. Enjoy.)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Part One

Ryouga…

To Shampoo-kun, the problem wasn’t so much that he had to go to school, it was that they were making him wear a boy’s school uniform. True, he was only now starting to build up a real wardrobe that he could wear in either form, forgoing most of the Chinese-style garments he would wear back home, but why did he have to wear the same drab clothing that most of the other students wore? If it had not been for Kasumi’s continuous reassurances that he looked very good in the uniform, he probably would never have relented. But she had been very insistent that he appeared very dashing. Of course he looked good in either form, but it was kind of reassuring to hear him described as being handsome, even if he didn’t like the curse. 

Besides, he had wanted to keep a low profile, at least until he could get a cure, so that meant trying to blend in with the indigenous Japanese population. Though no matter how he dressed, the girls still pursued him. He still was not sure of how to deal with them, though he admitted that they at least they had the good sense to realize he was a powerful warrior. 

He turned his attention to his two companions as they made their way to school. Akane was dressed in her normal school outfit, but Ranma-chan had still somehow managed to wear her usual red shirt and black pants ensemble. Life wasn’t fair sometimes.

Ranma-chan had pretty much the same viewpoint, though about different things, as she complained continuously from the moment they left home. “Pop and Mr. Tendo are really starting to annoy me. If they try any harder to push us together, I’m going to explode.”

“Don’t look at me,” Akane sniffed. “I’m certainly not encouraging them.” She still disliked the idea of being pushed into a marriage with anyone, and Ranma was just so insensitive sometimes it made her want to scream. If she had to be engaged to him, why couldn’t he be more like the kind Doctor Tofu? There was someone that cared about how others felt.

“You should try harder to tell your dad you want out of it. I know damn well Pop ain’t going to let go,” Ranma-chan complained.

“My dad is just as stubborn as yours,” she assured him. “I don’t think he’s going to budge either.”

Shampoo-kun decided to tune out the rest of the now familiar conversation. He stared at the sky above and thought about their problem. He supposed he could sympathize. If he had been engaged to someone he didn’t like, say, Mousse, he would have gone completely ballistic.

He was still lost in thought of what the hell of being engaged to Mousse would be like when she saw a dark, flying object came down from high above, using the sun as cover. There was no time to react as the object headed towards Ranma-chan and attached itself to her face. 

“Ahhh! Get it off me!” came the muffled cry as the redhead tried dislodging her new facial adornment. 

Akane got a good look at the flying object that had affixed itself to her fiancé’s face. If she was not mistaken, it looked like a bat. A brief image of all of the horror movies she watched late at night flashed across her eyes. What if it was a vampire bat that was trying to suck out all of Ranma-chan’s blood?

“Stay still! I’ll get it!” Drawing back her book bag, she aimed directly for the object and unloaded a mighty swing. 

Fortunately for the bat, it got out of the way of the impending blow, detaching itself from Ranma-chan’s face just as the object reached the apex of its arc. Unfortunately, for the redhead, her face did not get out of the way in time as the quite heavy book bag hit her, knocking her to the ground. 

The bat took that as a sign to get out of there and flew off. 

It took Ranma-chan a moment to regain her senses. Once they came back, she realized what had happened. “Whad’ya do that for?!”

“I wasn’t aiming for you. I was aiming at the bat. It was attacking you,” Akane explained, annoyed at Ranma’s irritation. She had been only trying to help. “What if it was a vampire bat? It might have been trying to suck out your blood or something.”

Ranma-chan narrowed her eyes. “If getting slugged in the face is the alternative, I’d rather have my blood drained dry.”

“That’s the last time I try to help you,” Akane huffed. 

“Ranma! I found you at last!”

All three youths turned to see a teenage boy emerge from the school. He did not wear a school uniform. Instead, he was wearing black pants, a yellow shirt, and a yellow bandanna with black stripes that held an unruly mop of black hair that was dripping wet. 

Much to the trio’s surprise, he approached Ranma-chan instead of Shampoo-kun. “It’s taken me years of hell to track you down. You may have run out on our last fight, but you won’t get the opportunity to this time.”

“Who are you?” she asked.

“You don’t remember me?” the boy demanded.

“Nope.”

“I’m Ryouga Hibiki.”

“Still doesn’t ring any bells.”

The surprise Ryouga felt changed into anger. “How dare you forget me! I remember you! A lot of time may have passed, but I’d recognize those beady little eyes anywhere.” He pointed to Ranma-chan’s eyes for emphasis. “And that jagged nose.” He flicked her nose, earning himself an angry growl. “And those ample breasts.” He poked her in a breast, which was the exact moment in which he realized that particular feature was not something that was consistent with his memory. “Hey! When did you get breasts?”

“It’s a long story,” Ranma-chan mumbled, still bewildered as to how the boy had pierced her disguise. 

“Wait a minute! You can’t be Ranma. The Ranma I know is a guy.” Ryouga looked around in confusion, as though he had lost something.

A crowd of students gathered to watch the display. One of them yelled, “That’s not Ranma, you dummy! That’s Shampoo. Ranma is next to her.”

Ryouga turned his attention to Shampoo-kun. “You’re Ranma Saotome?”

Shampoo-kun nodded in answer.

Ryouga looked between the boy and girl again. “But I ran into…” He pointed to Ranma-chan, then shook his head. “Never mind. You look a lot different from the way I remember you. Still, if you are Ranma Saotome, prepare to die.” He drew a bamboo umbrella from his backpack and pointed it at Shampoo-kun.

The windows of the school were packed as the student population watched the scene unfold before them. Many of the girls looked on in puzzlement. 

“That’s odd. Why would that boy challenge Ranma?”

“Yeah. I wonder what he did.”

“The stranger looks kind of tough.”

It was then one of the girls took a step back, a look of apprehension dawning upon her. “Oh my god! What if he isn’t really here for revenge? What if he’s heard about how Ranma has to date whoever defeats him?”

“You mean that guy--,” a second girl began.

“—might be trying to date Ranma?” a third girl finished. 

A fourth girl used that ‘information’ and jumped to a conclusion of her own. “THAT PERVERT’S TRYING TO DATE RANMA!”

Every boy in the school backed away in fear as a series of shouts of anger and facial twitching began spreading outward from that girl and spread to the rest of the female student body in a rippling wave. ‘Ranma’ was meant for them, not for some strange, pervert boy to take away.

Ryouga was used to hearing cries of rage, mostly his own. So when he heard a chorus of curses and howls of anger behind him, instead of panicking, he turned curiously to see what was happening.

Once, during his journeys, he had witnessed a swarm of ants attack a much larger bug, ripping it to pieces by sheer weight of numbers. He had always wondered why the larger bug had not tried to escape, but rather remained where it was and allowed itself to be overwhelmed. 

Now he understood as he watched a swarm of girls pour out of the windows and doorways of the school, reminding him exactly of how the ants had swarmed out of their anthill. And like that larger bug, he remained where he was, watching in fascinated horror as the angry host descended upon him. He quickly found himself buried under the wave of humanity. 

Ranma-chan, Shampoo-kun, and Akane looked on in shock as Ryouga was thoroughly beaten, then punted several miles away. Looks of satisfaction were on the horde’s faces as they dispersed, pleased that they had ‘saved’ Ranma from falling into the ‘pervert’s’ clutches.

“Some morning,” Ranma-chan said as she and the others entered the school.

The shadows seemed to follow the cloaked figure as it made its way silently through the school. It glanced furtively back and forth, making certain its progress was not being tracked, as it descended some nearby stairs and into the lower bowels of the school itself. The caution paid off, as no one saw it reach its destination: Secret Sub-Basement Four of Furinkan High School. The number itself was unusual, since only two other secret sub levels had been uncovered, and one of them was deeper than number four. But Furinkan was odd in that way. 

The figure moved as silently as it could before eventually coming upon a door with a guard next to it. The guard moved to block entry and looked the newcomer over. “Password.”

“Studmuffin,” the figure answered.

“Wrong.” The guard remained where she was.

The figure paused in thought or a moment. “Umm. Beefcake?”

“That was yesterday’s password.”

The figure released a sigh and pulled back her hood to reveal her features. “Look, Sayuri. It’s me, Achika. Let me in.”

“I can’t let you in,” Sayuri informed her. 

“You’ve known me since third grade. We used to be best friends.”

“None shall pass.”

“Please.”

“You have to give me the correct password.”

Achika gave Sayuri a menacing smile. “The password is, ‘Knock it off and let me in or I’ll beat the crap out of you’.”

“That’s not the password,” Sayuri objected.

Achika kept smiling. “The last time I checked, I was captain of the high school Judo team, while you failed to even make the track team.” 

“Close enough.” Sayuri gulped and allowed her old friend into the chamber beyond.

Secret Sub-Basement Four was actually a very simple place, in spite of what the name implied. The walls were a nondescript gray and made of concrete. There were a set of boilers, which heated the school, located in the back. Close to two dozen wooden folding chairs were set up for the occupants of the room, most of which already had people in them. Achika quickly recognized most of the entirely female residents that were currently seated; the majority of them were captains of various school activities, such as the archery, alchemy, and chess clubs. 

To Achika, most of the girls seemed very anxious, a state that mirrored her own. She noted that the only other addition to the room was towards the back, where a projection screen stood up against the wall, and a simple wooden table at which two girls sat. One of the seated girls stood up. Achika recognized her as the captain of the chess club: Nanami Oguya.

“Now that we are all present, we may begin the meeting,” Nanami loudly announced. “As you all know by now, Furinkan has been blessed with the presence of one of the greatest hunks…I mean by a rather handsome student by the name of Ranma Saotome. Not only is he an extremely good-looking individual with green eyes that one could lose themselves in, their hearts burning in passion fo—“

“Ahem!” The girl sitting next to Nanami cleared her throat, interrupting the fantasy before everyone’s attention was lost. 

“Right,” Nanami said, concentrating once again on the matter at hand. “Anyway, not only is he handsome, but he’s available too.”

“I heard he was engaged to Akane Tendou,” a voice called out from the back. 

“Akane Tendou has openly said she’s not interested,” Nanami reassured her. “Besides, for some odd reason, he apparently has to date any girl that defeats him. Think of it, girls, he’s a stud that can’t say no. What more could we ask for?”

“Hey,” another voice in the back spoke up. “Isn’t this kind of an immature thing to do? I mean, that’s what we said when all of the guys tried doing the same thing to Akane. Besides, it makes it seem like we’re pretty desperate.”

Nanami gave a tired sigh, not that the protest was unexpected. “Allow me to explain the situation. Lights!” The lights dimmed. Nanami pulled out a tiny remote control and touched a button that activated a hidden slide projector on the far side of the room. A second button ran the first slide through.

“This is Ranma.” The slide being shown had cost Nanami a small fortune, but it had been worth every yen. It had obviously been taken from a high angle, but the quality was exquisite. The picture had been taken in a bathroom. It was a frontal shot of Shampoo-kun, in nothing but his bare flesh, save for the small towel wrapped around his waist. Nanami thought that the most tantalizing thing about it was not the amount of skin being shown, but the hint of more as Shampoo-kun’s hands were obviously positioned to remove the towel from his body. Nanami had offered five times what she had paid for a shot of him sans the towel, but Nabiki had insisted she had not managed to obtain such a picture. Nanami would not have been surprised if Nabiki had just been saving the best ones for her own personal collection. 

Nanami’s opinion of the subject of the slide was openly shared by the collection of sighs, wolf whistles, and cheers that came from the gathering of girls. 

“Now this is the alternative to Ranma.” Nanami pressed the button again. The next slide showed a picture of a smiling Hiroshi and Diasuke. This time a chorus of boos, groans, and swearing emanated from the audience in response. Girls began hurling spit-balls at the screen and demanded Nanami go back to the first slide. She happily complied. 

“Okay. We really are that desperate,” the girl that had registered the protest conceded. 

“Exactly,” Nanami agreed. “Now I will take charge of the situation. I have devised a strategy which will surely engineer the defeat of our target.”

This time Achika spoke up. “But if we attack him as a group, how do we decide who gets to go out with him? You can’t expect all of us to date him.”

Nanami simply switched back to the Hiroshi and Diasuke picture, waited for the spit-balls to make their reappearance, then switched back to Shampoo-kun. 

“So I’m thinking Ranma can average three dates a night,” Achika said pensively. 

“Exactly,” Nanami said. “What we have to do is—“

The rest was cut off as the door, and part of the wall surrounding it, exploded inward. Achika reacted immediately, her fists forward, and waited for the attacker to make an appearance. As the dust began to settle, Achika made out not one, but five silhouettes in the hole that had once been a doorway. The captain of the women’s Judo team maintained her stance, confident she could handle whoever the intruders were, at least until the dust settled enough for her to make out their features. 

“By the kami,” Achika gasped, her courage leaving her in the face of the overwhelming power set before her. “What are you doing back?”

The leader of the group gave a hearty laugh. “Someone sent us a picture of that gorgeous new student and the conditions for dating him, so we cut our tour short and came back early. And since we have returned, there is little need for your continued presence.” The group attacked, causing the room to explode in fury. 

The entire battle lasted under thirty seconds before the two dozen students lay unconscious on the floor. The leader of the group made her way through the prone girls and bent low, picking out a slide from the now shattered projector. She held it up to the remaining unbroken light in the room, examining it closely. 

“Magnificent,” she softly breathed. Truly Ranma was a prize befitting one such as herself. 

Shampoo-kun sighed in relief as another day of school drew to a close. The whole school experience was proving itself a big waste of time. They were teaching him a bunch of things that he was never going to use instead of practical things. The worst was Japanese history, which seemed to be filled with nothing but the achievement of males. The only subjects she really liked were the English class (which she spoke only slightly worse than her Japanese, she thought with pride) and math, which was easy to understand since it mostly dealt with numbers. 

As she met Akane and Ranma-chan, he noticed the same tired expression on the redhead’s features. “How Ranma…err, Shampoo day go at school?”

“Boring,” Ranma-chan said, earning a sniff from Akane and a reprimand that school was important and that she should try harder to enjoy it. Shampoo-kun saw no reason to mention he felt the same way as Ranma-chan.

As the trio made their way outside the main school building and into the yard surrounding the school, they found themselves confronted by a group of five girls in matching outfits composed of blue tops, short yellow skirts, white socks, and black shoes. Each one bore a set of pompoms in their hands. Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun couldn’t help noticing the rest of the Furinkan student body seemed to be giving the group a wide berth. 

“Who the heck are you guys?” Ranma-chan asked.

One of the girls moved to the front of the assembly. Ranma-chan noted she was a tall, very attractive, busty blonde. A quick evaluation of the way the girl moved, along with her bearing and demeanor, made Ranma-chan think this was probably the leader. 

The blonde spoke, her comments directed towards Shampoo-kun. “Of course. Where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself and the other girls you will be dating from this point onward.” She gave a sweeping gesture towards the girls behind her and began the introductions in a right to left order.

“Megumi Ohtama.” 

The redhead farthest on the right gave Shampoo-kun a hearty smirk. 

“Kaede Miyaki.”

A shorter girl, blonde, and the most attractive of the group, placed a hand on her hip and thrust her chest out towards Shampoo-kun.

“Ayeka Hibishi.”

The tallest of the girls stepped forward. She was a raven-haired beauty with a menacing glare in her eyes that was missing from the other girls. 

“Kyoko Onamuri.” 

A chestnut-colored, curly-haired girl waved her pompoms and gave a little cheer. While only being slightly taller than Kaede, she was not quite as attractive as the other girls, though still very cute.

With the last of her girls’ introductions out of the way, the speaker presented herself to the others. “And I am the greatest of them all, Captain Ai Konjou, leader of the Furinkan Cheerleader Squad!”

The group gave out a cheer and struck a collective pose.

Whereas most of the time Shampoo-kun felt only slightly uncomfortable over the longing stares some of the girls gave him, the looks the cheerleader squad gave him made him want to break out in a run. Ai’s gaze was easily the worst, making Shampoo-kun feel as though he was being stripped on the spot. 

“You’re even more attractive in person, Ranma,” Ai said as she continued undressing Shampoo-kun with her eyes. 

Ranma-chan gave a cocky little smirk. “You got that right.”

“She means Shampoo,” Shampoo-kun whispered in her ear. 

Ranma-chan’s smile turned into a frown. She was becoming more irritated by the day over the name change thing. And worse, Shampoo-kun was getting all of the attention when Ranma-chan knew she was more attractive than him, as a guy or a girl. She began to wonder if maybe she should go to school as a guy a few times to take some of the pressure off the Amazon and have the girls flock to her instead.

Ranma-chan turned back to the situation at hand. She gained Ai’s attention. “Let me get this straight. All of you want to date him?”

“Why not?” Ai asked. “We do everything together.”

Akane wore a nauseated look. Shampoo-kun looked at them in disbelief, and Ranma-chan just her head sadly. That was just plain wrong.

“Do whatever you want to them,” Ranma-chan told Shampoo-kun. “They deserve it.”

The Amazon needed no words of encouragement. Being treated like a toy that could be exchanged from girl-to-girl all but ensured a nasty beating for the group. A beating that would serve as a message to the other members of the female student body as well.

Just as he was about to move forward, Akane called out, “Wait.”

“Why?” he asked, eager to get things over with. 

“These girls are different,” Akane explained, noticing she had gained Ranma-chan’s attention as well. “They’re dangerous. They haven’t been around because the principal sent them away on a cheerleader tour of the world. The stated reason was that they were to represent Furinkan, but the real reason was because they were becoming too powerful and dangerous.”

Ranma-chan scoffed at that. “And just how are cheerleaders dangerous?”

“They know Martial Arts Cheeleading,” Akane said.

Ranma-chan’s scoff turned into a laugh. “There ain’t no such thing as Martial Arts Cheerleading.”

Ai moved forward. “Oh, but there is, and we have perfected it. We have traveled all over the world, challenging the other schools’ cheerleader squads and triumphing over all of them. Now we stand alone. The pinnacle which others try to reach yet fail to achieve. We are a thing like unto gods.”

“Goddesses,” Megumi corrected. 

“Whatever.” Ai gave a dismissive gesture at the interruption.

Shampoo-kun remained unimpressed. Regardless of his curse, he was still the champion of his generation and more than a match for a bunch of foreign, pretty-girl would-be martial artists. He moved forward again and launched himself at the quintet of girls, targeting their buxom blonde leader as the first one to go down. Without her, there was a reasonable chance the others would falter, or at least be thrown off their battle plan. It depended on how important Ai was to the rest of the team. 

To Shampoo-kun’s surprise, Ai stood her ground. The surprise changed to delight as he threw a punch towards the blonde, wondering if Akane had overrated the girl’s battle prowess. He threw his fist right for Ai’s smiling face. 

Things seemed to go into slow-motion as Ai threw herself backward, the fist missing her by barely a centimeter. The move turned into a cartwheel, removing her completely from her attacker’s reach. Shampoo-kun’s eyes began to follow Ai’s backward path, when he realized why Ai had remained motionless until the last second. She had used her body to shield the Amazon’s view of Kyoko and Kaede, who were coming in low on Shampoo-kun. He had already been off-balance from the first failed attack and easily fell prey to the double-shoulder block the girls aimed at his legs. Rather than being knocked backward as the duo simultaneously struck, the girls lifted up and tossed Shampoo-kun high into the air. He twisted in mid-flight and was about to regain his balance, when he understood why the girls had hurled him upwards in the first place. Ayeka and Megumi had already been airborne and were just now coming down from the apex of their leap. Two feet connected with his mid-section, winding him and driving him downward towards the ground. 

The only warning he received, that told him something else would connect with him before the ground, was a flash of blonde hair. He only managed a glimpse of it right before a baton struck him in the back hard enough to redirect his airborne course from straight down to one more parallel to the ground. He landed roughly about fifteen feet away. 

Ignoring the pain from his chest and back, Shampoo-kun forced himself to his feet with as little of a grimace as he could muster. There was no way he was going to let them know how effective their attack had been. However, the only result that seemed to generate was a grin of pleasure from Ai. 

“Oh, a tough one,” she purred as Shampoo-kun once again caught her undressing him with her eyes. 

Anger come bubbling to the surface as he once again charged at Ai, but this time veered off at the last moment and went after the girl to Ai’s left, Kaede. The shift worked well enough for him to connect with one blow before the others recovered and fell on him with another well-choreographed attack. Having a better measure of their combat abilities, he was able to block all but three of the blows. 

This time he voluntarily backed off, only to quickly attack again before the girls could set up yet another coordinated assault against him. His action did little good. For the one blow he landed on Kyoko, four others struck on all sides. He was forced to back off once again, breathing hard as the pain from the blows he had taken to the stomach throbbed worse than ever. 

Ai came to the forefront of the girls once again, her gaze even more predatory than before. “You are a strong one, Ranma. Whole teams have fallen to less than what we have attacked you with. But conventional attacks are not our only technique.” She turned to the others. “Girls! Exploding Pompom Attack!”

Five sets of identical blue and yellow pompoms appeared in the cheerleaders’ hands. They all gave a rousing cheer and leaped into the air, pointing their pompoms towards their target. Tiny blue pellets began shooting outwards, exploding as they struck the ground. Shampoo-kun did his best to avoid the explosions as the ground blew up around him.

Ranma-chan was watching the unorthodox attack in awe when he noticed several stray pellets heading towards her and Akane. 

“Look out!” she shouted as she shoved Akane out of the way, then tried to evade the explosions herself. She managed to avoid a direct hit, but was caught in the blast radius of the explosion, which hurled her several feet. 

“That’s it!” she spat as she got up, affording a glance towards Akane to make sure she had not been caught in the explosion. “You guys are way too dangerous to be allowed to roam free. You can hurt someone like that.”

“That someone is going to be you, if you don’t get out of our way!” Ayeka sneered at the impudent remark. 

Ranma-chan gave a grin that was anything but reassuring as she cracked her knuckles. “Oh, is that so?”

While Ranma-chan had her ‘talk’ with Ayeka, Kaede returned her attention to Shampoo-kun. She threw a set of pompoms at him. He was about to move out of the way when he realized they would pass on either side of him, missing him by no more than a few inches. 

It was as they were about to pass that he realized what a mistake he had made. The pompoms were attached together by a cord, which then proceeded to wrap themselves around Shampoo-kun’s legs like a set of bolos would, effectively trapping him. Kaede gave a cry of delight at finally rendering her foe motionless and ripe for the kill. She leapt high in the air and aimed for Shampoo-kun’s head, only to have her target moved out from under her by a red-haired blur.

Ranma-chan held the Amazon in her arms. She maneuvered it so she had one hand free, then severed the cord binding Shampoo-kun’s legs, allowing him to regain his feet.

“Time to take care of business.” Ranma-chan dropped into a fighting stance and Shampoo-kun followed suit. 

The cheerleaders appeared undaunted as they ran into combat once again. This time, Ranma-chan made a difference as even the group attacks became less effective, the squad receiving as much punishment as they dished out. For five minutes a fierce battle raged before Ai called out to her team to back off, even though they were starting to gain the advantage. 

Ai shot a defiant glare towards her opponents. “You have foolishly earned the full wrath of myself and my team. None shall defy us and our will.” She gave a hand signal to the squad, which then set up in a wide line. 

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun stared at them, bewildered at what they might be up to. The squad did not have their pompoms out, most likely meaning some other bizarre form of attack. 

“It’s time!” Ai gave another hand signal. All of the members took a deep breath and shouted. “THAT’S ALL RIGHT! THAT’S O.K.! THEY CAN’T BEAT US ANYWAY!”

The martial arts cheering attack was unlike anything either had experienced before. The ground in front of and beneath them swelled and exploded, sending them both high in the air. An ungracious landing followed as both hit hard, each stunned. They were barely able to track the squad as they repositioned themselves once more. 

Ai moved forward. “Don’t get me wrong, this has been fun, but its time to end this for good. “ She raised her arm dramatically, pointing it skyward. “Witness the awesome power of our new finishing maneuver that we came up with just last week. Furinkan High Cheerleader Final Attack: The Whirlwind Pyramid!”

“I thought you said you watched the Science Ninja Team Gatchaman do this, and we were just copying it,” Kyoko said. 

“Be quiet,” hissed Ai. “Form up!”

The girls obeyed. Ayeka and Megumi stood next to each other, backs straight. Kyoko and Kaede leaped upon their shoulders, which was followed by Ai jumping on top of Kyoko and Kaede’s shoulders as well, forming the top of the ‘pyramid.’

“I don’t like the looks of this,” Ranma-chan muttered as she watched the group begin to spin in a circle. Faster and faster the group moved, until they were nothing more than a blurring tornado. Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun continued watching in dread as the miniature whirlwind took off. Both tensed up, though were at a loss as to how to defend themselves from that sort of attack. Higher and higher the team soared, while the duo on the ground waited for an attack to occur. They were still waiting for something to happen when they heard a series of cries come from within the whirlwind.

“I told you we haven’t mastered this well enough to use outdoors!”

“I’m getting really dizzy!”

“Stop spinning. I think I’m going to be sick!”

“How do we stop this thing?!”

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun relaxed as the whirlwind disappeared off in the distance. Akane came up to the duo, scanning the horizon the entire time. “Well, that was anti-climactic.”

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun stood up and brushed themselves off, neither seeming particularly happy. 

“That was terrible,” the redhead grumbled.

Akane looked at her, surprised. “What do you mean? You beat them.”

Shampoo-kun joined in. “No. Ranma right. Is bad. They beat selves. We no defeat them. If not mess up, girls win.”

“C’mon. Let’s go home.” Ranma-chan let the way, dejected over the perceived failure.

“My boy was beaten by a bunch of girls. Oh, the indignity of it all!” Genma wailed.

A bonbori was introduced to the top of his head. “There nothing wrong with girl beating boy in fight. Is way things should be.” She left the bonbori were it was as a reminder of that fact. 

“You didn’t see them, Pop. They moved perfectly with one another,” Ranma pointed out as he made his way back to the center of the dojo to practice with Shampoo once again. “Me or Shampoo could take any one of them on easy. Probably any two. I might be able to do three of them if that Ai girl wasn’t one of them, but not all five. Even together, me and Shampoo won’t be able to beat them. At least until we figure out some way to break up their attacks.”

“Just take them one at a time,” Genma said. 

“It’s not that easy,” Akane said. “They operate as a team and won’t willingly fight separately. It’s like fighting one body with ten legs and arms.”

“There’s some sort of weakness,” Ranma insisted. “No technique is perfect.”

“Maybe if we gang up on them that will work. How about I help out?” Akane said.

Ranma gave her an angry look. “I don’t need no help. I wouldn’t let Shampoo help me except they attacked her first, and she’s their real target.”

Akane scowled back and went to lean against the wall. He didn’t have to be so rude about it. 

“I know how you can beat them.”

All eyes turned to Nabiki, who had just entered the dojo. 

Ranma was over to her side in a flash. “How? How? Tell me!”

Nabiki gave no outward sign of being moved by the plea. “How important is it to you?”

“Really, really important!”

Nabiki shook her head. “No. I mean how $important$ is it to you?”

Ranma sighed. They reached a monetary agreement and she gave him the information. He was practically bubbling in excitement. If what she had told him was correct, taking down the cheerleader squad was going to be easy. 

The next day went along just as they had thought. As Ranma-chan and the others had suspected, the cheerleader squad was waiting for them before school. Also, as she thought might happen, a crowd had gathered to witness the upcoming battle as well. Already Nabiki was circulating the crowd with her friends, taking bets. Ranma-chan did manage to catch someone mentioning that the odds were in her side’s favor. That was a good sign. It meant that Nabiki had confidence in the information she had given. 

Ai and the other members of her squad were cheering at the crowd, trying to get them fired up and into the fight. Ranma-chan was annoyed to note that the crowd’s cheers were loudest when it came to describing the squad and what little chance she and Shampoo-kun had of winning. 

“Let’s get this over with!” Ranma-chan shouted at the squad, who gave one last rousing cheer before taking their places on the makeshift field of combat. 

“Ranma,” Ai said, “We already have a dating schedule picked out for you. Assuming you are still in working condition for tonight, it will be me who goes out with you. Tomorrow it’s Kaede—“

“Hey!” Kaede interrupted. “That’s not fair! You’ll wear him out and my date will suck.”

“I’m the captain, and what I say goes,” Ai said with a hint of menace in her voice. Kaede’s complaints ended with that. 

Shampoo-kun spoke up. “Ranma sorry, cheerleaders waste time and make useless schedule. You no going to win fight.”

“We’ll see,” Ai replied as the squad went into their attack positions. 

Ranma-chan took note of this and whispered conspiratorially in her partner’s ear, “Look at the way they’re standing.”

“They make it too, too easy,” he agreed. 

Much to the surprise of the cheerleaders, the duo took the initiative and attacked. Luck was with the duo as their plan began to work. Shampoo-kun managed to separate Kyoko and Kaede from the others and allowed Ranma-chan to hold the other three off while he sent the plan into motion.

Shampoo-kun allowed the two to double-team him and simply defended himself, content to wait for just the right moment. It came only about a minute into the fight. He at last attacked, slipping a kick past Kaede’s guard. The blow would not take her out, but rather would keep her out of the way for the next few seconds. 

Kyoko saw this and went into a defensive posture, intent on waiting until Kaede recovered and the two would begin to attack on concert again. She was taken by surprise when, instead of attacking, Shampoo-kun gave her a loving stare. Her heart all but melted under that gaze. 

The Amazon spoke up. “It too bad Ranma no interested in dating cheerleader now. If Ranma was, would date Kyoko for sure.”

“Really?” Kyoko dropped her guard. She had always thought all of the other girls on the team were much prettier than her. 

“It true.” Shampoo-kun moved closer, still not attacking, but instead tilted Kyoko’s chin up so she was looking directly into his eyes. “Kyoko is prettiest girl on team.”

“Wow,” Kyoko murmured. She was starting to slip into a fantasy when the recovered Kaede grabbed her and shook her by the shoulders. 

“Snap out of it! He’s just lying to you, so you won’t attack him.” Kaede cursed her partner’s infamous gullibility. Besides, she was the prettiest girl on the team

“Kaede should no be jealous just because Kyoko much, much prettier than her,” Shampoo-kun taunted. 

Kaede’s face began to twitch as she released her hold on Kyoko and spun in anger towards Shampoo-kun. “What are you, blind?! I am ten times more attractive than that cow!”

That snapped Kyoko out of another fantasy that had threatened to take root. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Simple,” Kaede stated proudly. “I am clearly the best looking girl, not only on this team, but in this entire school. While you are just sort of…there.”

“Well Ranma thinks I’m prettier than you,” Kyoko retorted. 

“That right.” Shampoo-kun smiled, confident that was the final move he needed to make. 

Kaede’s facial twitching became even more fierce. “Liar! I’m better looking than this cow!”

Kyoko began to tremble in anger herself. “I am not a cow, Thunderthighs.”

“My thighs are not thick! You take that back!” Kaede attacked Kyoko, who attacked right back. The pair completely abandoned their martial arts skills in favor of a good old-fashioned cat fight. Shampoo-kun admired his handiwork for a moment before going to help Ranma-chan. 

As Ranma-chan had told her father the night before, even she could not fight off three cheerleaders at the same time, especially with Ai involved. She took a flying leap kick at Megumi, who cartwheeled out of the way to come up next to Ayeka.

“AIRRRRR KICK!” the two shouted together. The redhead was surprised to feel herself struck by what felt like a blow. She had not anticipated on them only needing two people to do the cheering attacks, and she began to wonder if she was going to be able to hold out long enough for either Shampoo-kun to take care of his duo or if Nabiki would move into position. One glance afforded to the bleachers showed that Nabiki was at her prearranged place and the next phase of the plan could take effect. They had not even had to pay her anything, since it was in her best interest to see the cheerleading squad lose, due to the way the bets had been wagered. 

Ranma-chan was trying to figure out how to get Ayeka to stop attacking when the cheerleader did it on her own. “You’re good. Why don’t you join us?”

Ranma-chan smiled. Things were working out even better than she had hoped, for a change. “I would, but I wouldn’t want to make you look bad.”

The reply was little more than a scoff as Ayeka said, “Do you really think your martial arts are that good?”

“I don’t mean my martial arts, I mean my looks.” She let that sink in. Seeing Ayeka begin to quiver, she added. “After all, if I were to stand next to you it would make your hips look even bigger than they are.”

“My hips are not big!” That had always been a sticking point of Ayeka Hibishi. When she was smaller, people had always said she had ‘good hips’ which meant they were big. Oh sure, her mother’s friends always said that just meant she would be good at having children, but she didn’t want to have big hips. She wanted to have normal ones, like all the other girls. But every now and then, someone would mention them, then her martial arts cheerleading would come into play as she ‘corrected’ their behavior.

It was time for the second part of the plan: acting sympathetic to Ayeka to redirect her anger away from him. “There is nothing wrong with that. I have a friend named Akane Tendou whose hips are at least as big as yours.”

“HEY!” Akane shouted from her place in the stands. That particular comment had not been part of the plan. 

Nabiki sat in the crowded bleachers and watched Ayeka’s still fuming form on the field. The plan had come together perfectly. She squatted out of sight behind Kunou, pulled out a megaphone, and shouted, “Look everyone! Shampoo is fighting the big-hipped one!”

For one brief moment everything stopped. Ayeka slowly turned in the direction of where the comment had came from. Nearly everyone gasped as they saw an intricate network of veins bulge out upon Ayeka’s face. An intensely blue aura shot out from her, almost extending far enough to hit Ranma-chan. The shorter girl made certain to increase her distance from the glowing girl. She was not the only one as Ai and Megumi ran for cover, knowing that it was too late and that the ‘Ayeka Bomb’ was about to explode.

“WHO… SAID …THAT!” Ayeka barely managed to get out. 

Nabiki stood up from her position from behind the still as yet unaware Kunou, who had spent the entire time fixated on Ranma-chan, and pointed to him. Nabiki was in motion less than a second later, trying to get as much distance between her and the scapegoat as she could. A moment later, the rest of the student body, save Kunou, ran for their lives as well.

With an incoherent scream, Ayeka leaped towards Kunou like a human missile. Kunou, at last tearing his gaze from his vision of loveliness, noted Ayeka’s approach. “I see,” he said to himself. “My handsome features have captured yet another sweet damsel’s fancy. She approaches me, no doubt, to ask if I would date her. Truly a tempting offer, but alas, my heart belongs only to Akane Tendo and Shampoo. I must refuse this damsel, but gently lest I break her fragile heart.” He stood up and proudly announced, “I cannot date you!”

Ayeka impacted with the bleachers, blowing up the entire thing in a huge blue explosion. Nabiki wondered if those were the last words that the world would hear pass from the lips of Tatewaki Kunou. Once the smoke cleared, she was able to make out Ayeka’s unconscious form next to a teetering Kunou. 

“She did not take that very well.” Kunou at last hit the ground, unconscious.

Ai and Megumi looked for Kyoko and Kaede, spotted them, then looked for Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun. They saw them, then looked at each other. 

“It doesn’t look like I’ll be going out tonight,” Ai sighed. Megumi just gave her a weak look, then paled as an evilly grinning Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun approached them, the promise of violence gleaming in their eyes.

One beating later, a defeated Ai stared mournfully at her opponents. “How did you do it?”

Ranma-chan openly smirked at the girl. “You guys were tough and your technique was impressive, but you have one flaw. Your vanity. Once we learned how conceited you guys were, we concentrated on exploiting that. After a few of you were out of the way, it was easy.”

Nabiki and Akane came over to the victorious duo, each with their own feelings on the matter. 

“I cleaned up,” Nabiki said as she continued to count a wad of cash in hand.

“Will we see any of that money?” Ranma-chan asked.

“Look all you want at it,” Nabiki offered as she spread it in a fan in her hand until Ranma-chan turned away in annoyance. 

It was Akane’s turn as she spoke through gritted teeth. “There is still the little matter of my hips to discuss.”

“There is nothing little about the matter of your hips,” Ranma-chan said bluntly. Akane was in the mood to reciprocate, and bluntly punted her away. 

“Busy day,” Nabiki confided to Shampoo-kun as they finally made their way into the school.

Akane was in a far more pleasant mood, Ranma-chan’s grumbling about ‘violent tomboys who can’t take criticism’ upon the redhead’s return to school all but forgotten. The rest of the day had gone well, everyone pleased at the victory over the annoying cheerleaders. Upon returning home, she decided to go through her katas. She had to admit, Shampoo’s presence had, for some reason, urged her to practice her martial arts harder, forcing her to press through katas that she would have previously just gone through the motions of. She was so focused on practice, that she failed to notice her father’s presence until he applauded her when she was through. 

“Impressive,” he complimented.

Akane beamed at the praise, not that her father was stingy with his approval, but it reinforced what she had already believed. “Thanks, Dad. I’ve been practicing a lot with Ranma and Shampoo.”

Soun moved forward into the dojo to stand next to Akane. “That’s what I have been concerned about. You seem to spend all of your time either studying or practicing lately. So, I have decided you should go out and have a good time tonight, on me.”

Akane was a bit surprised at the sudden gesture. Still, he was right about her not doing much for herself lately. She hadn’t even had a chance to hang out with Sayuri or her other friends. “Thanks, dad.” Her mind was already racing with what she and the others could do.

Soun clapped his hands in excitement. “I’m sure Ranma and you will have a marvelous time together.”

“I’m sure we wi…wait a minute. What do you mean, ‘Ranma and me?’” Now things were starting to become clear, and Akane was not sure she liked what she was seeing.

As usual, Soun missed the suspicious look now in his daughter’s eyes. “Saotome and I decided that it is about time you two went out on a date. After all, you are already engaged.”

“Not that I had any choice in the matter,” Akane grumbled. 

“Now, now,” Soun cajoled. “Give the boy a chance. I am sure that if you spend some time with him, you will learn he is a kind and caring fellow.”

Akane wondered if he was talking about the same Ranma Saotome she knew. “What will happen is that he will eventually say something terrible about me. That’s what always happens. It’s like a reflex or something.”

“Please, Akane. Do it for your father.”

Akane recoiled as she noticed the first signs of tears in Soun’s eyes. The battle was as good as lost now, so she ceded the fight for the evening. “All right, I’ll go.” But she wasn’t going to like it.

Ranma was doing a one-armed handstand as he tried to focus his concentration. Before Jusenkyou, he had little trouble slipping off into a meditative state while upside down. But since then he had been unable to regain his focus. Lately, though, things had changed, and he could feel the edges of a meditative state almost upon him.

“Boy, you look sort of tired.”

Ranma lost his concentration at the sound of his father’s voice. Deciding he wasn’t going to succeed tonight, he came out of the handstand and stood up, so he was looking at his father face to face. “Ah, I’m fine. Horsing around with those cheerleaders barely got me warmed up.”

Genma took off his glasses and wiped them clean. “A martial artist always needs to be in top form. Take the night off, boy. And here’s some money.” Genma held out a small amount of money and all but shoved it into Ranma’s hands. 

Almost reflexively, Ranma grabbed the money. Just as he took it out of Genma’s hands, the whole unusual nature of the situation caught up to him. “What’s going on, Pop? You don’t give anything to anyone unless there are strings attached.”

Genma actually had the audacity to sound offended. “Nonsense, my boy. No strings attached. You need a break. Have a good night with Akane.”

Ranma’s eyebrow shot up at that. “And what exactly does Akane have to do with this money?”

“You need the money to treat your fiancee right when the two of you go out on your date tonight.” Genma placed his arm around Ranma’s shoulder. “Trust me, boy. Women love it when you shower them with two things: attention and money.”

“I don’t want to shower her with nothin’!” Ranma shot back. It figured his father would be at it again. He knew he should have expected it. It had been at least twenty-four whole hours since the last time his father had tried to do something to push Ranma towards her. 

Genma tightened his grip. “Akane is your fiancee. You should treat her better. Go out on a date and have fun.”

Ranma wriggled out of his father’s grip. “I’ve got a better idea. Shampoo’s free tonight. Why don’t we engage her to Akane this time and let the two of them go out?”

“Quit joking around,” Genma said. “Just treat her nice and the two of you will get along fine. Besides, Tendou and I made reservations for the two of you at a nice restaurant. This is the only time you’ll get a chance to eat really good food, so don’t blow it.”

“Unlike you, I don’t live for food.” Ranma crossed his arms, satisfied with himself until a loud grumble from his stomach betrayed him. Reconsidering his position, he thought that perhaps it would be nice to actually eat out for a change. And going out with Akane might actually keep both fathers from continuously trying to ram the two of them together. “I’ll do it.” 

Genma slapped Ranma on the back, delighted that the boy was finally starting to see reason. “That’s the spirit. Go up and get changed, and don’t worry about asking Akane out, she already agreed to it.” Well, if Soun had done his job correctly, she already had. It was long past time the boy starting taking his responsibilities seriously. Ranma was almost out of the room when Genma remembered one last detail. He fished a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. “Here you go, boy.”

“What is it?” Ranma asked as he eyed the paper suspiciously. 

“Your itinerary.”

“And exactly what do I need an itinerary for?”

Genma shook his head sadly at his son’s naiveté. “You don’t know the first thing about romancing a girl. Tendou and I put our minds together and came up with this surefire plan to impress her. Take her to all of these places and she’ll thank you for it.”

Ranma rolled his eyes and accepted the paper. There was no telling what the two men had come up with. However, arguing with his father would accomplish nothing. All Ranma wanted to do was eat.

A third dress joined its two companions on the bed. Given Akane’s mood, it was probably lucky it hadn’t ended up in the garbage instead. She felt like just throwing everything in her closet out and giving up. It seemed as though everything she owned made her look like she was fourteen. Technically it was her first date ever, not that she cared what she looked like for Ranma. That was not why she was worried at all. No, she just didn’t want everyone else to think she looked too young. 

“Right,” she said out loud. And that settled that. She tried on a fourth dress that looked like it might have a chance of not making her look even younger than she already was. 

A rapping on the door stopped any further debates as to whether or not the dress was good enough to wear. “Who is it?”

“It’s me, Ranma,” a low voice said from the other side of the door.

Akane’s eyes snapped to her mirror to look herself over one more time. The dress would have to do. “Come in.”

Ranma opened the door just enough to slip inside before quickly closing it behind him. “We gotta get out of here quick.”

“Why?” Akane noticed his furtive gestures, and wondered what he had done now.

“Our fathers are setting up a banner and party stuff downstairs for our first ‘date.’ I don’t want them to spoil the mood,” he explained.

Akane stared at him in surprise. “You don’t?”

“Nah,” Ranma shook his head. “All that fiancee stuff will just spoil my digestion.”

So that was what it was all about. “I get it. You don’t want to be seen with me!” Akane snapped. 

Ranma stared at her, bewildered at how she had come up with that one. “No, it’s not that. I just want to have a good time and not think about that stuff.”

That had caught her offguard. She had her doubts about him taking the date seriously, assuming he had been somehow forced into it like she had. But now she was beginning to wonder. At least what he said made sense. “I understand. I don’t like being reminded of it either.”

That was a relief to Ranma. He had been half-way certain she would have balked at the idea of keeping quiet. “Then let’s head out the window.” Seeing her agree, he gently picked her up in his arms and jumped out the window. Akane barely stifled a gasp as she found herself floating in midair briefly. Despite the height, she felt safe being in Ranma’s arms. There were no doubts that he would drop her, and that reassurance put her at ease. Maybe things would turn out all right after all.

A surprisingly quiet evening, that was what it was. They had made it to the restaurant without any stray thunderstorms or buckets of water landing on Ranma. No one jumping out of some bushes and challenging him to a fight. No Kunou to glomp either one, or more likely, both of them. No fathers to hassle or just make a general nuisance of themselves. And the food wasn’t half bad either. All of her fears of SOMETHING going wrong on their date seemed to have been unfounded. Ranma had not even said anything rude or insulting the entire time, and it had been well over two hours that the duo had been alone with one another.

Akane decided it was time to let Ranma know about that. She turned to him “Ranma?”

“Murph?” he said through the chicken he had stuffed into his mouth. 

Okay, Akane thought. Maybe there was another reason why he had not put his foot in his mouth yet. His table manners were pretty gross, but at least they were having a good time. She decided to leave it at that for now.

“Our father’s picked that one, didn’t they?” Akane asked as the two left the movie theater.

Ranma gave a derisive snort. “What was the giveaway? Was it the fact the story involved a man and his fiancee that didn’t want to be engaged at first, but fall in love and get married later?”

“It was something like that,” Akane chuckled. The experience at the movie theater had proved the same as dinner. Akane was amazed that Ranma had still been hungry, even after eating a large meal. He had gotten a two gallon tub of popcorn and put so much of the buttery liquid flavoring on it that she was certain she could hear his arteries clog. Besides the constant munching, things had gone okay. It was true that Ranma was not behaving exactly the way she thought guys were supposed to act on a date, but she wasn’t sure exactly how guys WERE supposed to act on a date. Most of the things her girlfriends said they did made it sound like the guys were perverts, something she would have smacked Ranma for if he tried doing anything like that. But actually he had acted like…well not like a gentleman, but he clearly wasn’t interested in trying anything. Oddly, that put her even more at ease than before.

With those concerns laid to rest, she turned to other matters. “What’s next in the schedule?”

Ranma brought out the itinerary and looked it over again. He still wondered why he was following it, but then he really had no idea of what else to do. “It says we’re supposed to go to a wax museum. That’s stupid. Whoever heard of going to a wax museum on a date?”

“It sounds neat,” Akane said.

Ranma looked at her in surprise. “You think so?”

“Uh-huh.”

The whole thing sounded silly to him, but how much worse could it be than the theater? He agreed and the pair of them set off for the wax museum.

Arriving there, they saw that the place was what they had expected. There were wax statues of famous people, movie monsters, politicians, infamous criminals, and infamous magical girls. Ranma had no idea there was ever a ‘Magical Bondage Girl Lashina’ that had stalked the streets of Japan. The way the statue had been dressed had given him chills that ran down his spine, and he wondered if he would have nightmares about her and her ‘Whip of Pain and Pleasure’. He wished he hadn’t come at all.

Akane, on the other hand, had seemed to enjoy the visit. “This place is neat. I haven’t been to one of these in years.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Ranma answered, now somewhat bored. He looked ahead to see if they were getting close to the exit.

“Hmm, that’s interesting,” Akane said.

“What is?” Ranma asked, looking at her to see if he could find what she was talking about.

“Magical Bondage Girl Lashina’s cute animal sidekick, Rugmuncher, looks an awful lot like Mousse. The panda even has robes and glasses just like him. You think maybe it fell into that spring too?”

Ranma was surprised at the resemblance. “Maybe Mousse had a brother or something. Hey! The statue moved. I didn’t know they were animated.”

“They aren’t,” Akane pointed out. 

Understanding dawned on Ranma just as Mousse-panda swiped at him with a furry fist. It connected solidly and drove Ranma into several of the politician statues. Recovering quickly, Ranma dodged the next two swipes and landed a solid kick into Mousse-panda’s gut. However, the cursed boy’s heavy form prevented him from being moved by the strike. He lowered his shoulder and charged Ranma, driving him through one of the thin walls separating the statue displays. 

Ranma was still on his back, winded for a moment, when he saw Mousse-panda barreling forward at him once again. Ranma knew he wasn’t going to be able to get up before the cursed boy was upon him. He cursed his luck. What a stupid way to die. Mauled to death by a blind panda.

With his goal at long last in sight –so to speak, since his glasses had been knocked around and now rested on his forehead-- Mousse-panda bared his teeth at the form before him. It had been luck that he had spotted the accursed Saotome on his way into the wax museum. The plan for substituting his cursed form for one of the statues and lay in ambush had been sheer genius, and it had paid off. Now he would put an end to Ranma once and for all. 

Mousse-panda leaped upon the blurry form and sunk his teeth into his neck. Rather than the hot taste of blood he had thought would be there, he met only some kind of gooey substance. Ranma’s flavor was just awful. He quit biting and spat out whatever had been inside Ranma. He then realized that, somehow, Ranma was still standing. He lowered his glasses to see how it was possible. With his vision actually being able to focus, he locked sight on what he had attacked and recoiled, horrified.

Ranma had been changed into a flesh golem.

“Cut that out!” A fist met the back of Mousse-panda’s head, knocking his glasses askew once more. Ranma was grossly insulted that Mousse-panda had mistaken a statue of Frankenstein’s Monster for him.

Mousse-panda recovered enough to charge again. Ranma quickly realized that, while the Chinese youth’s advantage of surprise was lost, the edge in close quarters combat Mousse-panda’s furry bulk gave him combined with Ranma’s lack of fighting room made the fight almost even.

Ranma was trying to figure out how to get past Mousse-panda and outside, when his opponent hurled an egg at him. Sensing the danger, Ranma nimbly dodged out of the way, allowing the egg to hit a wall and explode. Once the dust settled, Ranma saw that there was now a hole leading outside.

“Catch me if you can!” Ranma taunted as he ran outside the hole. Mousse-panda growled in fury and tried following, only to strike the wall next to the opening. After taking a minute to regain his senses, he charged out the hole to attack Ranma once more.

Upon emerging outside Mousse-panda began looking for Ranma, bellowing out in panda talk of what a coward he was for ducking out of a fight. That Ranma had absolutely no idea of how to understand panda never crossed his mind.

“I’m over here!”

The voice was unquestionably Ranma’s. Mousse-panda went around the corner of the building to locate the source of the sound. The side street was unusually dark, but it took only a moment for him to spot his opponent, standing in the shadows of the street, next to a broken fire hydrant that was spraying water around. The only thing he was able to make out was the familiar tuxedo on the shadowy figure’s form. 

Blinded with anger, he simply charged forward, intent on mauling Ranma once again. He splashed water from the pool collecting around the figure and leaped onto the figure. Even Mousse-panda was surprised at how easily Ranma fell over. He actually took a moment to look closely at his opponent, rather than attacking him again. The Chinese youth was shocked to see the true nature of his opponent.

It was a mannequin wearing Ranma’s jacket.

“Looking for me, furball?”

Mousse-panda looked in the direction of the voice: directly overhead. He saw that Ranma was hanging upside down from a telephone pole, a wire with sparks shooting out of the end, in his hand.

Mousse-panda didn’t have time to react as Ranma dropped the live wire into the pool. The electricity shot through the animal victim, knocking him out.

Ranma knocked the wire out of the water before going down and inspecting the mannequin. He examined the jacket, then pulled it on as best as he could. “Moron. That was a rental.” He considered what to do with his unconscious attacker. Possibly a quick call to notify the zoo one of their pandas has escaped would work. It would at least keep the blind one out of way for a while, trying to find hot water in a panda pen.

Akane finally located Ranma just as he was finishing the call. She took note of the ruins of what had once been his jacket. Ranma, irritated at the loss of the jacket, spoke up before she could say anything.

“You were a lot of help,” he said sarcastically.

Akane’s temper began to flare. Everything had been fine up to the point they were attacked. “You seemed to have everything under control. Besides, you called me stupid the last time I tried to help you fight him.”

“I don’t call distracting me by calling me an idiot help.”

“Fine!” Akane shot back. “I won’t assist you anymore.”

“Good!” Ranma retorted. “Besides, it’s not like someone as clumsy as you could help me anyway.”

That was it. Akane’s temper snapped. “Fine! If you want to be that way, then this date’s off! Why don’t you just go home?!” She nailed him with a solid uppercut that hurled him away. It sure hadn’t taken long for things to deteriorate quickly. Some date it had turned out to be.

The night air felt particularly good as Nabiki sat on the back porch, leafing through a magazine. Everything was actually quite peaceful, for a change. Peace was something that had been in short supply since the arrival of the Saotomes and Shampoo. Still, excitement also tended to lead to opportunities, and Nabiki Tendou was not one to ever pass up one of those.

Nabiki paused in her casual reading and noted that she was not the only one present. Kasumi was cleaning the dining room table, while Genma and Shampoo were discussing something or other about martial arts as they stood next to the koi pond. Nabiki was about to go back to reading her book when a high-pitched whistling cut the night air. It took her all of two seconds to determine what it was.

“Kasumi, better get some hot water ready. We’re going to have company.”

“We are?” Kasumi asked.

Nabiki pointed up to the sky. Kasumi looked up, then nodded in understanding as she went to get the kettle. 

Shampoo made certain she was far away from the edge of the pond as the airborne visitor made a belly-first touchdown in the pond. 

Nabiki held up a white sign with the number ‘7’ on it. Shampoo looked at her quizzically.

“He broke his form right at the end. I think I’m being unusually generous,” she explained.

Shampoo found herself agreeing as Ranma-chan’s form broke the surface of the water, face down. “It look like Akane decide to call end to date,” Shampoo said as she took note of the tiny bubbles that drifted up to the surface from around Ranma-chan’s head.

Genma walked up to the edge of the pond and looked down. “That fool boy. He ruined the tuxedo.” Genma knew damn well he wasn’t going to pay for it. 

Kasumi moved to stand next to Shampoo. “I think the number of air bubbles is starting to slow down. Maybe you should jump in and get him out of the pond,” Kasumi told Shampoo.

Shampoo frowned at the water. “Shampoo not want to get wet.” She missed the faint look of disappointment that crossed Kasumi’s face. 

“Here,” Nabiki handed Shampoo a boat hook. The Amazon used it to snag Ranma-chan by the back of the remains of the tuxedo’s collar and hoisted her in the air. The redhead shook her head back and forth to try to get rid of some of the water and revive herself. 

“So, how did your date go?” Genma asked.

Ranma-chan shrugged. “Well, we had a nice dinner, saw a bad movie, went to a wax museum, got attacked by a nearsighted panda, and then I got sent here courtesy of the Akane Uppercut Express.” 

“So the evening went pretty much the way you figured it would?” Nabiki asked. 

“Yeah.” Ranma-chan shrugged. At least she had gotten a decent meal out of the deal. 

Genma began jumping up and down in joy. “This is wonderful boy!”

Ranma-chan knew she was going to be sorry, but couldn’t resist. “And how do you figure that?”

“You didn’t make Akane mad until the third event of the evening. Your relationship is improving.”

“I don’t consider getting clobbered by my date at any time an ‘improvement.’”, Ranma-chan growled. “And I didn’t do anything to make her angry. She’s just got no control over her stupid temper.” She let herself off the boathook, accepted Kasumi’s kettle of hot water, and went inside to change. Now that he was male once again, he wondered why on earth he had ever accepted an engagement to anyone. Women were nothing but trouble.

“Cheez! Dis guy weighs a ton!” Kamiya exclaimed.

Fuji repositioned himself so he could get a better grip on his load. “You know, I don’t think this guy is one of ours.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t remember any of our pandas walking around with a set of robes,” Fuji said as he set Mousse-panda down long enough to open the door to the panda pen. As the door opened, the five pandas currently in residence turned to see what was going on. Fuji and Kamiya greeted them, then unceremoniously threw their new ‘animal’ into the water.

The cold liquid woke Mousse-panda. His head shot up in time to see the steel door shut. It took him a moment to awaken fully, then do a quick examination of where he was. Given the fact there were other pandas in with him, it was safe to assume he was in a zoo of some kind. The area he was in was full of plants, bamboo, and long grass. Actually, it was a very realistic replica of the sort of environment that pandas would live in. For a moment, he actually considered resting there and allowing some of his strength to be restored. Pride prevented him from considering it for long. He was a man, not an animal, and would not allow himself to be caged. 

Mousse-panda noted that the pandas watched for a moment, then began to move around, shifting some of the bushes and rocks. Undoubtedly his arrival had awakened them and they were trying to find something to eat, he assumed. He ignored them from that point onward and put his problem to mind. Realizing that if he tried to escape the pen as a panda someone might try to recapture him, he elected to change first. He whipped out a tea set and burner from his robes and began heating up some water. 

It was as he was heating the water that he felt something tap him on the shoulder. He turned to see that one of the pandas was offering him a cup filled with a substance that gave off a rich scent. Mousse-panda looked at the other pandas and noticed that they had indeed been looking for something to eat. Only instead of bamboo, it was a rather large platter of delicious looking pastries which they had uncovered. That they were wearing napkins on their laps and eating daintily did not escape Mousse-panda’s notice. 

They had also apparently gotten out a large silver machine and were pouring themselves cups of a dark brown substance that was similar to the one that he was being offered. It took Mousse-panda a moment to identify the machine and the contents. So, the panda was offering him an espresso. How…sweet.

He tried fanning the flames of the burner in a panic, praying it would heat up faster.

Part 2

…and Roses

Shampoo-kun trudged back home, the events of the day at school falling away behind him. He was starting to get used to being attacked every morning. Whether that was cause for concern or celebration, he could not say. At least it was helping him stay in shape. 

Upon arriving, Shampoo-kun heard the sounds of two girl conversing from the living room. He walked into the room, only to find Akane talking to a girl whose face was bandaged up. The uniform of the unknown female identified her as being from Furinkan, however. He tensed up, just in case it was some kind of unorthodox ambush.

Shampoo-kun overheard Akane saying, ‘Well, if it’s for the school, I guess I’ll have to do it.’ That piqued his curiosity. 

“What going on?” Shampoo-kun asked as he leaned against a wall and watched the two girls.

The girl got up to depart, giving Shampoo-kun a sweet ‘good-bye’. That left Akane to explain things. “She needed help. She belongs to the Furinkan Gymnastics Team. They have a match coming up with St. Hebereke’s. The star on that team is some nutcase called “The Black Rose.” She ambushed our team before the contest, so they couldn’t compete. From what I understand, she does that to all her opponents, so she’ll win all her matches by default.”

Shampoo-kun processed that rather unusual information. “So why they come to you? You no gymnast.”

Akane shrugged. “Well, it’s Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics. She explained how it works to me. You have to use weapons to take out your opponent during the match and since I’m one of the few martial artists she knows, she came to me. It’s for the pride of the school. I can’t say no.”

That made sense to Shampoo-kun. He went to get some hot water and let Akane go to the dojo to practice. After talking with Kasumi for about an hour, Shampoo’s curiosity won out and she went to the dojo to check up on Akane. She wondered how the girl was doing and if she was adapting well to the new weapons.

Akane sighed as she tried using yet another one of the gymnastic tools the girl had left her. She knew she could do better with the hoop. After all, she couldn’t possibly get tangled up in it like she had with the ribbon. It had taken her nearly half an hour to untie the knot she had somehow formed when she accidentally hog-tied herself with it. 

It was as she found herself stuck in the hoop for the third time that Shampoo entered the dojo. After taking in the bizarre scene, she asked, “Why not let Shampoo help Akane with weapons? Shampoo learn when very young, so should be able to teach Akane okay.”

“Sure.” Akane said, proving herself a quick study and learning some of the basic ways that the ribbon and clubs could be used as weapons. Unfortunately, her enthusiasm did not make up for her lack of grace. As she tried one of the more difficult maneuvers, she slipped on one of the medicine balls that had been laying on the floor and twisted her ankle. 

Shampoo felt it several times before giving Akane the verdict. “Shampoo think it sprained, not broken. Akane should go see doctor and make sure, though.”

“Great,” Akane said sadly as she allowed Shampoo to help her to her feet. “How am I supposed to fight when I can’t even walk?”

“No can stand, no can fight,” Shampoo confirmed. 

“But I promised. I have to be able to fight.”

Shampoo thought about that for a minute. “Shampoo fight. Then Akane no have to worry.

“Are you sure?” she asked. 

Shampoo nodded. It was her school too. Besides, she was better at fighting than any other girl at the school, except Ranma, sort of. And just how dangerous could someone that named themselves after a flower be?

Akane returned from her check-up from Doctor Tofu. He had confirmed Shampoo’s diagnosis of the sprain, but she was still sort of happy from seeing him again. It had been too long since she had had an excuse to come by, and of course the visit had been far too brief. He was sweet, kind, and just perfect, even if he did go to pieces around Kasumi.

Dropping by the dojo, Akane saw that Shampoo was still practicing while Ranma watched nearby with an idle eye. He saw Akane’s bandaged foot and came over immediately. She was a bit surprised by his concern, and found herself thinking that even though he was not as nice as the doctor, he did have his moments. They were few and far between, but they were there.

Seeing Shampoo was doing far better than Akane had, and not wanting to have to be reminded of that painful fact, Akane decided to retire early. She went up to her room, using the same amount of caution she usually did. Occasionally some school girl would still try to sneak into the house to ambush Shampoo-kun and mistake Akane’s bedroom for Shampoo’s. Things had been improving, but Akane knew better than to drop her guard.

Her caution paid off as she spotted a few telltale strands of black hair sticking down from the rafters in the ceiling over her bed; the girls’ favorite ambush spot. Without hesitation, she rushed over as fast as she could with her bad ankle, and made a tiny one-legged jump, grabbing the hammer-wielding figure that had been hanging in the rafters. She grabbed onto the figure by the neck of her leotard and hurled her into the floor, hard. Akane took note that the ambushers were starting to become more risqué in their style of clothing. 

Kodachi Kunou picked herself up off the floor, stunned that her ambush had backfired so badly. She had done some basic background research on her upcoming opponent and had intended to fairly knock her out before the competition. However, nothing in Akane’s background indicated she was good enough to get the jump on Kodachi the way she had. 

“How did you know?” she asked Akane as she rose to her feet.

“Come on. This is the third time this week one of you has used that place as an ambush spot. And I’ll tell you the same thing I told the others. This is not Ranma’s room!”

Kodachi underestimated how winded she was from the earlier fall and was caught off guard as Akane managed to land a fist hard enough to knock Kodachi out of the window and high into the night sky.

Mousse felt like laughing now that he had come upon a brilliant plan that would eliminate Ranma once and for all and set Shampoo free. All he had to do was wait until Ranma was asleep, then run him through with a sharp weapon. True, it would have been far more embarrassing for Ranma to be defeated in personal combat, but being locked up in a panda pen was too humiliating. Saotome had to pay.

“Oh, Shampoo!” Mousse cried out, unable to contain his emotions at being so close to achieving his dreams and marrying Shampoo. At last she would be marrying a worthy man.

He looked upwards to the heavens, praying to the gods that Shampoo would be his by the end of the night, when he noticed something unusual. “That’s odd. I don’t remember it being a full moon out tonight. Wow! It looks really big, too.”

Kodachi’s rear end struck Mousse squarely in the face. 

The Black Rose sat up, pleasantly surprised that her landing had been nowhere near as hard as she had feared. As she started to rise to her feet, her hands felt something soft. A glance beneath her and discovered why her landing had been so mild. A man had nobly thrown himself under her in order to break her fall.

Kodachi’s heart fluttered at the boldness of the strange man who had saved her from possible death. She managed to get a good look at his face and her heart nearly leaped out of her chest. He was incredibly gorgeous, his eyes being his most handsome feature. She had dreamed of such a moment all of her life. What incredible fortune she was having this night.

Mousse’s glasses had been knocked off his face again, so he was forced to use his hearing and sense of touch to figure out what had fallen from the sky and landed on him. A gasp escaped from what was still laying on him, a gasp too soft to be a man’s. As he sat up, his hands brushed up against a soft, yet firm, mass in the chest area of the girl that had been sitting on him. There was only one woman on the face of the earth who would have leaped upon him with such unbridled passion.

“OH, SHAMPOO!” he glomped onto his ‘love’ for all he was worth.

Kodachi was deliriously happy. The gorgeous man was already showering her with his affections. It was a dream come true. “What is your name?”

Mousse’s head jerked up. Shampoo didn’t recognize him? That was cause for concern. “It’s me, Mousse.”

“Mousse-sama.” She pronounced his name slowly, savoring the way the words rolled off her tongue. Even his name was perfect.

Mousse’s concern doubled. That was not Shampoo’s voice. His hands searched the ground, quickly discovering the location of his glasses. He put them on, getting a better look at who he had grabbed. “You aren’t Shampoo.”

Kodachi’s hands were behind her back as she arranged a special present for her man. “I have no shampoo to give you, but perhaps these will do.”

The Black Rose brought a bouquet of her namesakes forward from behind her back, and thrust them into Mousse’s face. He had only a moment to admire them before the bouquet emitted a cloud of paralyzing gas causing him to freeze up. Kodachi leaned over the prone Chinese boy. “Mousse-sama, are you ready for that which will seal our destiny?” 

Knowing the feeling that was already in his heart, and subsequently not needing an answer, she cradled his head in her hands and leaned over to kiss him. Just as her lips were about to meet his, a foot unceremoniously punted her off the roof and into the night sky.

Akane watched the Black Rose’s silhouette cut across the moon before fading off into the distance. “And don’t come back! you hear me!” She crossed her arms and was about to leave when she realized there was another visitor to her abode. It took her a moment to recognize the boy she had seen more often as a panda then a human. “You’re that jerk that ruined my date last week! Well, I’ll tell you the same thing I told your girlfriend!” She appreciated him remaining motionless, allowing her to line him up with her good foot and get the best distance when punting him away as well. She was on target as she hit him right in the rear end and sent him even farther away than Kodachi. “Don’t come back either, you hear?!”

Akane returned inside, wondering what else the night would bring. She wasn’t even in the tournament anymore and was still getting attacked by lunatics.

Ranma looked the scene in the gymnasium of St. Hebereke’s over. The bleachers of the large arena were packed with students from both St. Hebereke and Furinkan, as well as other faces that were familiar to him. Kasumi, Soun, and Genma sat together with ‘ringside’ seats along the floor. Kunou was located a little ways off in the bleachers behind them. There would be plenty of people to witness the fight on hand. He decided to drift back to the dressing room to see how his ‘fighter’ was coming along.

Akane examined Shampoo closely and stifled her thoughts of jealousy. So she looked better in a leotard than Akane. Fine. It’s not like that was the sort of outfit Akane ran around in anyway. She had to admit, the dark purple bodice and light purple arms and legs of the outfit seemed to mix well with the color of her hair. She was going to look fine in her upcoming match.

Akane still had some reservations. “Are you sure you want to do this as a girl? You are taking a bit of a risk, with your curse and all.”

“Can no go in as boy.” Shampoo said. “Besides, no other person can do. Unless want Ranma.”

Akane began giggling uncontrollably, causing Shampoo to stare at her in confusion. “What wrong, Akane?”

“I just pictured Ranma in leotards.”

Shampoo sat there for a moment, confused as to why that would be the cause of amusement, that was until the picture of it formed in her mind. She began joining in the giggling, barely aware of the knock on the door. Both her and Akane found it almost impossible to even manage an ‘enter.’ 

Ranma strolled in. The two girls both went dead silent upon his entry. Ranma began to wonder what they thought he had done now, when they pointed and started laughing twice as hard as before.

“What?” he asked, hands on his hips. That seemed to only set them off more as tears started falling down their faces. 

“Fine,” he grumbled in a dull roar that was completely missed by the two girls. “If that’s the way you’re going to be about it, I’m leaving.” He slammed the door shut behind him. Who cared if Shampoo won anyway?

It took the girls almost a full minute to bring their laughter under control. Once they calmed down, they headed to the ring. They moved cautiously, watching out for any more of Kodachi’s sneak attacks, like the bouquet full of sleeping gas she had sent to Shampoo’s room, which she had narrowly avoided. Their caution was unwarranted as both managed to make it to the ring without any problems. 

Shampoo went to her corner as the other joined her. Akane was acting as her coach. Ranma was acting as her trainer, even if he had only helped her a little bit. And Nabiki sat on a stool as her manager. 

Manager?

“Why Mercenary Girl manager?” Shampoo asked.

“Are you kidding?” Nabiki said. “Do you have any idea how much money I make off our little venture at school? If your identity is blown, I can kiss my cash, as well as my reputation, goodbye.” Visions of Shampoo turning into her male form in the middle of the match, and all of the girls that had lusted after ‘him’ turning on Nabiki, had haunted her the last few days. There was no telling what the female student population of Furinkan would come up with in retribution, though Nabiki’s imagination came up with several possibilities. The most persistent one was about being drawn and quartered by sumo pigs.

Nabiki shook off the memory and held up a kettle of hot water for Shampoo to see. “That’s why I have this, just in case.”

“Well, as long as your heart is in the right place,” Ranma grumbled, suddenly glad that no one had tried to get him into that ring. 

“Here she comes,” Akane said, ending the chatter among them.

Everyone watched as Kodachi was lowered from the roof on what appeared to be a swing. She was already dressed in a leotard. A black rose was held in her mouth. She delicately removed the flower and spoke. “It is time. Are you prepared for your downfall Akane—“ She stopped abruptly, realizing that Akane Tendou was most assuredly not the one in the ring. It took her a moment to spot her in Shampoo’s corner. She then smiled at Akane. “A substitute. How underhanded. I admire your sneakiness, Akane Tendou, but your subterfuge will avail you not.” Upon being set down, she turned to Shampoo. “And what is your name, lavender one?”

Shampoo had planned for this. She already had the false name picked out. “Am Shampoo Saotome.”

Various murmurs began throughout the Furinkan crowd. “Shampoo…Saotome… What could it mean?…Is she related to Ranma?…Looks like him…Strong family resemblance…She’s gorgeous…It’s not fair to have two family members so beautiful.”

One among them paid very special attention. “Interesting,” Kunou said. “She bears the same name as my beloved Shampoo, though her appearance is clearly different from one of my true loves. Still, to be related to the accursed Ranma Saotome is burden enough.”

“Hey, Ranma’s down there too,” Sayuri, who was behind Kunou, said.

Kunou began looking around. “Where? I see him not.”

“I mean Ranma, Shampoo’s brother, not the Ranma that’s Shampoo’s bro…” Sayuri trailed off, realizing just how ridiculous she sounded trying to explain things. 

Kunou managed to piece enough of it together. “He is related to my Shampoo?”

“Yes. He’s related to the red head, not the purple head. I think.” Her own head was now starting to hurt.

That was all Kunou needed to know. He pulled out a bouquet of flowers and rushed over to Ranma, the bouquet thrust forward in his hands. He called out ‘Ranma!’ once, gaining the pig-tailed martial artist’s attention. That had the effect of causing Ranma to panic, wondering how Kunou found out about the secret.

Kunou shoved the flowers towards Ranma. “Give these to your sister. Tell my love I shall meet her after the match to date her.”

Ranma’s relief gave way to disgust as he realized Kunou really was still giving them to him. 

“Thank goodness he didn’t get me any,” Akane muttered under her breath. She found another bouquet thrust into her face this time.

“Akane Tendou, these are for you. Let us date after the match,” Kunou offered.

Ranma felt his temper rising. “And just how do you date two girls at once?”

Kunou gave a weeping, pained look. “It is difficult, but neither can exist without my presence for overlong. A burden for myself, I realize.”

Ranma and Akane’s disgust doubled. 

“Did you get me any?” Nabiki asked, holding out her hand.

Kunou stared at her in confusion. “Why would I get flowers for a mercenary such as yourself?”

Kodachi took note of the disturbance in the corner of her opponent. “Brother dear. Why are you in the enemy’s camp?”

“I apologize, my sister,” Kunou shouted out. “However, I am forced to use intermediaries for contacting my beloved.”

All four of the people in Shampoo’s corner looked at Kunou in shock. “She’s your sister?”

Kunou bowed his head shamefully. “She is indeed my twisted sister. The depraved Black Rose, Kodachi Kunou.”

Ranma turned green, the horrifying thought of having someone like Kodachi also lusting after him entering into his mind for a brief second. Some things were best left unimagined. 

With a momentary lull in the revelations, one other decided to make his presence known. Mousse leaped down from his hiding spot among the steel beams supporting the ceiling and landed next to Akane.

“Shampoo. I heard about this fight and came to help you.” He embraced Akane.

“Let go of me, you jerk!” she shouted as she tried wiggling out of his grasp. 

Realizing he had made a mistake, he let go of her and began speaking to one of the corner posts. “Fear not, Shampoo. I will protect you.”

“Put on glasses, stupid Mousse,” Shampoo said from her position in the ring, wondering if the match was ever going to start.

At the name of one of his true loves being called, Kunou began to look around. “Where is my beloved?”

“He means Shampoo Saotome, not Shampoo.” Akane’s head began to hurt, and she wondered if it had really been so long ago things had been less confusing.

Kodachi’s eyes alighted upon Mousse, and she began jumping up and down in glee. “Mousse-sama. You have come to witness my victory. I am so moved.” Her hands moved behind her back. A moment later, she brought forward a bouquet of her own. “Here. Some more flowers for you.”

Mousse placed his glasses on and identified what was in her hands. He recoiled, then used a throwing ax to show his appreciation of the gift, cutting it in half. “I don’t know what your game is, but stay away from me.”

Kodachi’s eyes began tearing up at the rebuke. “Mousse-sama, how can you say such things?”

Rather than answer, Mousse finally spotted the Shampoo he was looking for. He jumped up into the ring to be at her side. “Shampoo, my love.” He never got a chance to latch onto her as he immediately got thrown into the mat for his troubles.

That move made it all fall into place for Kodachi. “You wicked, wicked girl! You have somehow cast a spell on my beloved. How dare you try to force apart two lovers.” She poised dramatically before Shampoo and made her declaration. “I will make a deal with you. If I defeat you, you will release your hold over my Mousse so that we may be together and you will relinquish any claim you may have on him.”

Picking himself off the mat, Mousse scoffed at her. “You will never defeat Shampoo. She is invincible and my situation is secure.” He got out of the ring and took a seat next to Ranma, intent on watching the match for his life unfold. 

Shampoo began to tremble in indecision from the unexpected situation that had suddenly fallen into her lap. If she simply threw the fight, she would lose Mousse forever. To be rid of his lifetime of attentions seemed too good a chance to pass up. But there was still her pride to think about. She had never even considered throwing a fight in her entire life. And she had promised Akane, when she said she would fill in for the injured girl, that she would try to win. Still, the idea of getting rid of Mousse ate away at her. She broke out in a sweat and grabbed her head. “Is too hard decision to make!”

“Throw it, girl!” Genma shouted from ringside. For him there was no choice. To keep from getting hit by Mousse again, no sacrifice was too great for him to make.

“Don’t do it!” Akane shouted, understanding how tempting it would be to her if there was a chance she could get rid of Kunou in a similar manner. 

Shampoo looked to Ranma for the deciding vote.

Ranma shrugged. “It’s a no-lose situation. Do whatever you want.” Besides, if he made a deciding vote and things did not work out, he would get the blame.

Pride won out over getting rid of the years-long problem. She looked to Mousse. “No matter how much it hurt,” she grumbled. 

Kodachi saw Shampoo tense up. It didn’t matter to her, She would win Mousse one way or the other. “Prepare for your downfall,” She bragged to Shampoo before turning once again to the handsome visage of her beloved. “Mousse-sama, we shall be together soon. OHHOHOHOHOHOHO!”

The Black Rose’s last ‘HO’ had barely left her mouth before she attacked. She elected to employ her ribbon, hoping for an early victory. Shampoo dodged the whip-like attack and retaliated with one of her own. Kodachi avoided the attack so gracefully, it appeared she had not even been trying to dodge.

“You call that an attack?” Kodachi sniffed. “This is an attack.” She switched from ribbon to pins, hurling the first one at Shampoo, which she dodged. A second pin was batted out of the air by Shampoo’s ribbon. For the third one, Kodachi chose a somewhat bent pin that, instead of heading towards Shampoo, sailed wide.

“Crazy Gymnast Girl no can throw straight.” Shampoo said, failing to see the club arc like a boomerang towards her back. Akane tried to shout out a warning, but it was too late; Shampoo was struck in the back of the head, momentarily stunned. Kodachi pressed her advantage and switched back to her ribbon, wrapping it around Shampoo’s ankles. With a tug Shampoo ended up on her back, and was then spun around in the air.

“So long, harridan,” Kodachi said as she released her hold on Shampoo sending her flying through the air and narrowly over the top rope. She turned her attention to Mousse, whipping out a make-up kit and started to apply it to her face. 

Shampoo knew she only had seconds to react before being hurled out of the ring. Almost by reflex she managed to grab the top rope with her hands and hung on, twisting in midair in order to use the momentum of the swing to spin between the top and second ropes. Once she revered her momentum, she released her hold on the rope and went shooting back into the ring, her feet pointed to Kodachi like some kind of human missile.

Kodachi hurled the make-up kit to the floor and went into a defensive posture, silently cursing Shampoo for avoiding certain defeat. “You must use a weapon to attack. Bare handed attacks are prohibited.”

“Shampoo know. Ball!” she shouted.

Akane was ready as she hurled a medicine ball at Kodachi’s stomach. It arrived a split second before Shampoo, allowing the Amazon to kick it into Kodachi’s stomach, rather than her feet. The effect was still the same as Kodachi found herself gasping for air after the attack. 

“A good…” Kodachi gasped for breath. “Attack. Let us see how you deal with this. Hoop!” 

One of Kodachi’s seconds threw a hoop to her, which she snagged by placing her arm through the middle of the circle. She then hurled the hoop like a Frisbee. Shampoo sensed something wrong with the seemingly innocent weapon and jumped over it. She watched as the hoop went past her and sailed into the crowd, heading directly for Genma. He barely had enough time to get his legs up when the hoop sliced through the legs of the chair he was sitting on, causing him to fall on his rump.

Mousse heard the ‘ohhs’ and ‘aww’s going on, but couldn’t figure out what it was about.. “I can’t see anything.”

Ranma picked up his chair up and spun it around, pointing it in the right direction. “Would you please put your glasses back on, panda-boy?”

“A good idea,” Mousse placed them back on his face, then realized who he was sitting next to. “Ranma, you enemy of women. I don’t know how you managed to substitute that bokken wielding idiot in your place, but I will get you this time.”

Ranma looked at him in confusion. “That happened two fights ago. Why didn’t you complain about it last time? You should be angry about your electro-shock treatment now.”

“Because pandas can’t talk, you fool!”

Ranma considered that for a moment. “Why don’t you use signs?”

“That is the most stupid thing I ever…” Mousse stopped for a second to truly consider that. “You know, that just might work.” He pulled a wooden sign and some markers from out of his robes and sat on the ground. It took only a moment for him to write on the board. Once finished, he held it up for Ranma to read. *This is actually pretty easy. How’s this?*

Ranma stomped on his head, driving it into the sign. “Don’t do it when you’re human, moron! Only when you’re a panda!”

Mousse picked himself up, the light gleaming off his glasses, allowing no one to see what was behind them. The look gave him a sinister appearance. “You will pay for that indignity, Saotome.”

A set of cat’s claws was upon Mousse’s wrist in an instant and he slashed at his foe. Ranma decided to take the fight away from Akane and Nabiki, and chose to run under the ring. Mousse took the bait and quickly followed. A moment later everyone was treated to the sight of two dozen girls in leotards run out from under the ring. 

“Why, whatever were they doing in there?” Kodachi said. Remarkably she actually managed to sound as though she was surprised. 

There were sounds of fighting from under the ring. A moment later, Ranma, and then Mousse, emerged. Mousse looked around for Ranma, somehow losing sight of him despite not being six feet away.

It took him a moment to spot a blurry form. “There you are, Ranma!” He hurled a dozen knives at a blur that turned out to be Kodachi. 

She barely avoided the barrage. “Mousse-sama. That’s me you are throwing at.”

“Sorry.” He looked around and spotted another blur. “There you are Saotome!” He once again hurled a bunch of knives, this time at Shampoo.

Shampoo dodged the incoming volley. “Stupid Mousse! You throw at Shampoo.”

“Forgive me, Shampoo.” He drew back to throw at another blur. Now with Shampoo identified, it was only process of elimination. “There you are, Saotome!”

Shampoo decided to end the whole mess before he accidentally skewered someone who could not get out of the way in time. “Mousse, you want help Shampoo?”

“Of course.” He nearly wept in joy. Shampoo needed him at last.

Rather than waiting for him to get into the ring, Shampoo wrapped her ribbon around him and unceremoniously dumped him on his head in front of her. She then picked him up by his ankles, held him upside down, then started dropping him head first into the mat while maintaining her hold on his ankles. Every time his head hit the mat, objects came out of his robe. Knives, axes, chains, polearms, duck potty training seats, and a Chrysler Cordoba all fell out before Shampoo finally saw what she wanted.

Kodachi was outraged. “You harridan! Do not harm my Mousse!”

Shampoo looked at her in confusion. “What hairy den?”

“It’s like a harlot,” Kodachi explained.

“What har lot?”

Kodachi felt her anger build further. “Don’t you understand anything? How about this, Bimbo?”

“Shampoo not bimbo!” she shouted out. “Besides, Shampoo done with stupid Mousse anyway.” She released her hold on his ankles, dropping him on his head. She reached down and picked up an egg that had fallen from his robes. 

“What are you going to do with that? Hard boil me to death?” Kodachi said in amusement. 

Shampoo gave a feline-like grin. “Not exactly.”

She hurled the egg at Kodachi. The Black Rose watched as it landed harmlessly at her feet. She had just enough time to smirk at Shampoo before the egg exploded. Miraculously, Kodachi found herself blown backward against the ropes, rather then through them, though her leotard was thoroughly singe-covered.

Shampoo picked up another egg and hurled it too.

Kodachi was ready this time. “Oh no you don’t. If you use my Mousse, I shall use your Ranma.”

Ranma was caught offguard as Kodachi’s ribbon wrapped itself around him, binding his arms to his side. He found himself hurled up in the air and into the path of the egg. 

Shampoo yelled and leaped forward, hoping to get to Ranma before the egg. Seeing she wasn’t going to make it, she lashed out with her own ribbon, hoping to snatch the egg out of midair even as she was airborne as well. She was partially successful as she batted the egg off its target, but failed to snare it as it hit the ring. It caught both her and Ranma in the explosion. The detonation knocked Ranma loose from the ribbon, but he quickly discovered the shockwave hurled both he and Shampoo up into the air and clearly out of the ring. 

Just as they were about to hit the floor, a powerful stream of water hit both of them, the pressure from it pushing both of them back into the ring. 

Akane kept her fire hose’s blast of water directly on them, watching the pressure force the duo back into the ring.

“Are you insane?” Nabiki shouted.

Akane couldn’t understand what Nabiki was complaining about. “I’m just pushing them back into the ring.”

“You‘re using cold water!”

Akane stared in horror at the stream of water that had once served as salvation was now close to condemning both of the people caught in it. Looking hard, she could just make out the cursed forms of Ranma and Shampoo. Their forms would still be obscured to any others that did not know what to look for, but once Akane cut the water, it would be all over. Things became worse as she realized that, in spite of both Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun’s best efforts to swim against the flow, both of them were going to be hurled out of the ring by it. 

“What do we do now?!” she yelled to Nabiki.

Thoughts of self-preservation filled Nabiki’s mind. They had only one shot at keeping the truth from being discovered. “When I say kill the hose, kill the hose.” She grabbed her kettle of still steaming water and tried timing the cursed duo’s progress in the stream. “Now!” she shouted as she hurled the kettle.

The timing was perfect as the kettle of hot water burst over them right at the instant the stream of cold water stopped flowing. Both of them changed back into their normal forms, the steam from the hot water obscuring the transformation. None in the audience realized what had actually happened.

Shampoo and Ranma landed in the ring. Shampoo turned to Ranma. “Ranma leave. Is Shampoo fight.” 

Without a word of protest, Ranma got out of the ring. The moment he was out, Shampoo shouted to Akane to throw her the bonboris. The Amazon easily snatched them out of midair.

Kodachi was impressed by the turn of events. She had been certain that Shampoo would have been finished. Her opponent was a stubborn one, she gave her that. 

Kodachi turned to one of her own corner women. “Boom ball!” She easily caught the gunpowder-filled medicine ball, then turned and threw it at Shampoo. 

Instead of dodging, Shampoo batted it back, just like a baseball, with her bonbori. The ball sailed back to its original pitcher, forcing Kodachi to duck as the ball narrowly missed her and exploded just outside of the ring. 

Kodachi was relentless as she elected to try her clubs again, utilizing ‘the attack of a thousand clubs.’ She hurled dozens of them at Shampoo, who spun one of her bonbori so quickly that it acted as a shield, deflecting the pins away before any of them could reach her. Even as her makeshift shield protected her, Shampoo worked her way closer to Kodachi until she was within striking distance. The Black Rose stopped hurling her clubs, giving Shampoo the opening she needed. She swung at the gymnast, only to stare in surprise as Kodachi leaped over the bonbori swung at her and used the other one, which had been upraised to strike a second blow, as a springboard into the air. While she was airborne and aiming for the top of one of the corner posts, she called for another razor hoop. The moment she touched it, she redirected its direction towards Shampoo. The Amazon didn’t have time to react as the hoop severed one of the bonbori at the handle. In order to make up for the loss, Shampoo pulled out her ribbon, keeping the other bonbori in hand. 

In the time it took Shampoo to draw the ribbon, Kodachi already had hers in hand and attacked. She was on target once again as the ribbon wrapped up Shampoo’s arms. Kodachi watched in amusement as Shampoo dropped her remaining bonbori to the ground. 

“This match is over!” Kodachi tried whipping Shampoo around, like last time, but the Amazon braced herself, her superior strength holding out and allowing her to remain upright.

Kodachi was off-balance for a moment, which was all the opportunity Shampoo needed. She lashed out with her foot, kicking the bonbori like a soccer ball. Her aim was true as the unexpected attack took the Black Rose on the head, stunning her for a second. A flick of the wrist and Shampoo’s ribbon wrapped itself around Kodachi’s ankles. From there all it took was a single swing and the stunned gymnast went flying out to the floor.

“AND THE WINNER OF THE MATCH IS, SHAMPOO SAOTOME!!!” 

Kodachi shook her head, the terrible words still ringing in her ears. After taking a moment to recover, she gracefully took to her feet and approached Shampoo, who had gone over to receive congratulations from her corner people.

There was a moment of tension until Kodachi spoke to Shampoo. “I will honor our pact. Mousse will be yours forever.” She turned to Mousse. “Farewell, my love.”

“THIS SHALL NOT BE!” 

Everyone looked to the ceiling as the voice rang out over the PA system. Suddenly, the lights went out in the gym. After a moment of darkness three spotlights came on. One was centered upon Kodachi, another on Mousse, and the third on Ranma. 

Tragic love music began playing over the PA system as Ranma brought a microphone to his lips.

“How can this be?” he asked. “How can we allow this beautiful, single black rose among a field of red to be unclaimed? She has fought long and hard for her love, and to have him taken away by fate is too much to bear.”

Women in the stands began to cry as they felt their hearts touched by the tragedy. 

Ranma continued. “But this fate can be avoided.” He pointed to Mousse, who suddenly found himself the focus of everyone’s attention. “Only a heartless and cruel man could be capable of casting off this vision of loveliness. You are not cruel and heartless, are you, Mousse?”

Shampoo moved next to Mousse and whispered in his ear. “You not heartless, right, Mousse?”

“No! No! I’m not heartless!” He found himself at a loss of what to do as Ranma approached him, Kodachi’s hand in his as he led her to the Chinese boy. 

“We knew this,” Ranma gestured boldly. “You are a man of great honor and know what to do when a situation like this arises.” 

Clearly having no idea what to say, Mousse simply blurted out, “Of course I do.”

Shampoo moved up behind him. “Then go to rose girl.” She pushed Mousse from behind, sending him right into Kodachi. He took a step back after nearly bowling her over.

There were tears in Kodachi’s eyes as she stared at Mousse. “Oh, Mousse my love.”

A ribbon snaked out from Shampoo, tying the two together. That gave Kodachi the opportunity to place her head on Mousse’s chest. “Mousse-sama, you hold me so close.”

“That’s only because we’re tied up!”

Ranma came to the center of everyone’s attention again. “And now that they have declared their love for one another. It is time for these two lovebirds to be alone for a while. Perhaps a trip far, far, away.”

“Hold!”

All eyes turned to the speaker, Kunou. 

“I have not had my say in this family matter. Do you think that I would allow my sister to travel abroad with a man such as this?”

“There’s some pictures of Shampoo and Akane in it for you,” Ranma whispered into Kunou’s ear.

“Sold! I mean…” He walked over to Kodachi and Mousse, placing a reassuring arm around the tied up pair. “Sister, I see this man has stolen your heart and given you a happiness which glows in your eyes. Who am I to come between two whose fates are linked together?” He turned to the crowd. “I give my blessings to this relationship!”

A rousing cheer rose from the audience.

“Thank you, brother.” Kodachi said softly.

Mousse began to panic, wondering how the situation had spiraled out of control so quickly. Wasn’t he supposed to be with Shampoo forever now? “But I don’t have any money for a trip!” he protested.

Ranma gave a sinister smile. “Leave that to us.”

Ranma, Genma, and Shampoo grabbed a huge shipping crate and threw it over the two ‘lovebirds. Various destinations, such as New York, Hawaii, Siberia, and Timbuktu, were written on the side. Once it was securely over the pair, they proceeded to nail it shut at blinding speed. All three of them picked up the crate and tossed it onto the back of a waiting pickup truck. After giving the driver a considerable sum of money, he drove off to the airport at top speed.

Genma was practically in tears. “It’s true.”

“It finally happen,” Shampoo said with stars in her eyes.

Ranma stood there, trembling. “We’ve finally lost that moron, and we got rid of that psycho gymnast to boot.” 

Akane looked on as the three linked arms and started dancing in a circle to the tune of ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead.’

Epilogue

“Excuse me, ma’am. This is Nerima.” The cab driver offered to get out of the car and open the passenger door for her, but she waved him off.

“I’m not so old I can’t still open a door or two. That should be a couple more…well, it should take a while longer anyway.” She paid the driver, then opened the door and got out of the car.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to find a place to stay?” the cab driver asked. “I can take you to a couple of nice places with good rates.”

“No need,” the older woman assured him. “Though it’s nice to see you showing proper respect to your elders.”

“You remind me off my own grandmother. I hope you find your granddaughter. You take care, ma’am.”

“I will,” she said as he drove off. Once he was out of sight, she turned and began to walk the streets of Nerima. The trail had been hard to find, but eventually she had tracked down the man who had sold the ship tickets to a purple-haired girl and her two traveling companions. From there she had followed the trail to Nerima, which she seemed to instinctively believe was their actual destination. Deep in her gut, she suspected she would find Shampoo staying somewhere in the district. And if there wasn’t a good reason for it, there would surely be hell to pay. 

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Special Thanks to

Ryan Anderson  
Bloodblade  
Jurai-Knight  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Misahara  
Slashley  
Wade Tritschler


	3. The Hunters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cologne appears looking for the missing Shampoo

Ranma 1/2: Presents  
Shampoo 1/2

Chapter 3  
The Hunters

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of these characters. They belong to the Takahashi and whomever bought the rights.

All C+C is appreciated. You can contact me at sommer

What's gone on before: In the beginning, Ranma and Genma traveled to Jusenkyou for the first time and started to spar, not realizing a duel was already occurring between Shampoo and Mousse. One mid-air collision and dunking in spring of young drowned man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. So Ranma-chan= female Shampoo-kun= male. Last chapter had Ai Konjou and her cheerleader squad try to get a date with Shampoo-kun. Also, Kodachi made her first appearance and fell for Mousse. After a challenge gymnastics match, Mousse and Kodachi ended up locked in a box and shipped around the world. Of course, there was that problem with a mysterious bat...

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Shampoo-kun's head darted to the left. No one was there. It seemed there was a movement out of the corner of his eye. He was a blur as his head darted to the right. Again, no one was there either. He spotted a nearby trash can with a lid on the top. Racing over to it, he drew back his fist and ripped off the lid. There was only garbage inside. He turned skyward.

"Exactly what do you think they're going to do? Hang glide in and attack you?" Ranma-chan growled at his paranoid companion.

Shampoo-kun continued scanning the skies, using the lid to shield his eyes from the glare of the sun. "Not know. Girls is too, too tricky. They try using nets three days ago. When that no work, they try land mines. When that no work, they try pit trap. Maybe is time for air attack."

Akane and Ranma-chan looked towards one another and shrugged. The day at school had been without any major disruptions, making both hope they would get one of those too few days where nothing 'interesting' happened. Things had tapered off since the cheerleader attack the previous week, and nothing had been heard from about Mousse or Kodachi. There were no detectable menaces around to bother them. Ranma-chan let loose with a sigh of relief.

"Incoming!" Shampoo-kun shouted as he raised the lid before him, the angle high and to the sky.

Ranma-chan looked up just in time to see a bat dive-bomb and attach itself to her face. "Get it off me! Get it off me!" The muffled cry came as she tried getting her fingers underneath wings that had formed a death-grip around her head.

Akane held back, remembering the results of the last time she had tried to help her fiancé with that particular problem. Shampoo-kun held no such reservations as he drew back the trash can lid and aimed for the bat.

History repeated itself as the bat detached itself and narrowly avoided the lid, while Ranma-chan's face did not as she took a solid hit to the jaw. Shampoo-kun cringed as he drew the lid back and surveyed the damage. Regret shot though him as he saw the glazed look the girl's injured face held. He examined the lid, and noticed that it now bore an indentation in the shape of Ranma-chan's face. A pretty good one too. He considered it worth keeping and hanging on his wall.

Ranma-chan recovered, taking note of how the now male Amazon admired his handiwork. "Whadya hit me for?!"

"It was accident. Was trying to hit bat."

Reaching a hand into her shirt, Ranma-chan pulled out a long sheet of paper and several colored pencils. She proceeded to scribble on the paper, and after a few moments, held up her work before Shampoo-kun. On it were two figures, an ultra-kawaii chibi version of Ranma-chan's face and next to it was a picture of an evil-looking, monstrous, blood dripping from the fangs, bat. Ranma-chan then pulled out a pointer and proceeded to explain.

"This, is me. Ranma Saotome," she used the pointer to indicate the chibi-face. "And this is a bat." The pointer switched to the bat. "See the difference? Ranma. Bat. Bat. Ranma. Ranma. Bat." She punctuated each of the words by going back and forth between the pictures.

Shampoo-kun watched intently. He then leaned forward, grabbed Ranma-chan by the ears, then pulled them out as far as he could and tried flapping them like bat wings over the smaller girl's protests. After pulling them up and down a couple of times, he let them go. "Shampoo understand difference now."

Ranma-chan rubbed her ears and was about to unleash a verbal tirade against 'dumb Amazons' when a whirring sound interrupted the attempted reprimand. The Amazon barely got out of the way as a red bamboo umbrella came hurtling towards him. It was open, and spinning like a flying top, and Shampoo-kun narrowly avoided it by leaping into the air and above the unusual missile. Much to his surprise, it spun in a long arc and returned to its source, as though it were a huge boomerang. Akane, Shampoo-kun, and Ranma-chan all looked to see that the person that had caught the umbrella was indeed who they had suspected: Ryouga Hibiki.

Ryouga folded the umbrella, then pointed it at Shampoo-kun. "You really have no honor do you, Ranma? How low can you be? I knew you were a coward when you ran out of our fight, but now you have women doing your fighting for you. And to think, I once thought you were worthy of being challenged by me. I'm almost disgusted at the idea of dirtying my fists with you."

Shampoo-kun paid little attention to Ryouga's ranting. "You talk or you fight?"

"I'm ready to fight, unless you're going to sic those two girls on me." He pointed at Akane and Ranma-chan with the umbrella.

Akane told him she wouldn't interfere while Ranma-chan remained silent. Seething rage filled her as she listened to the slanderous lies Ryouga had unknowingly leveled against her. She NEVER needed women to fight for her. Ranma Saotome needed no one to do her fighting for her. How dare Ryouga accuse her of such things, even if he was really accusing Shampoo-kun. And it hadn't happened that way anyhow.

Akane caught the redhead's rumble of, "No one fights my fights for me." Akane watched in confusion as Ranma-chan ran away with neither a word nor a backward glance. She was about to follow, but then the fight between Shampoo-kun and Ryouga began. Akane found herself torn between following the fleeing girl and making certain nothing bad happened to Shampoo-kun, or Ryouga, for that matter. Since it appeared it was more likely she might be needed at the scene of the fight, she elected to stay and hoped Ranma-chan would be all right.

One of the objects of Akane's concern had headed to the nearest restroom she could find. Without thinking, she rushed into the men's side -which luckily was vacant- and went to the sinks. The first one had an 'out of order' sign on it, but the one next to it worked fine as she ran some hot water and used it to revert to her true form. Once male, Ranma rushed outside and back to the fight. Upon arriving, he was pleased to see that neither opponent had landed a serious blow on the other.

"Stop fighting!" Ranma shouted. Both fighters responded by breaking off their attacks and looking at the speaker. Ranma's attention was riveted on Ryouga as he said, "I'm the Ranma you're looking for...what's your name again?"

"Ryouga Hibiki," he answered with a growl. As Ryouga looked the 'other' Ranma over, he found himself admitting that the new one looked a lot more like the boy he remembered than the guy he was currently fighting. He pointed to Shampoo-kun. "Everyone says this guy is Ranma."

For his part, Shampoo-kun remained silent, allowing Ranma to deal with the situation the way he wanted. The Amazon had no desire to beat up any of Ranma's old foes, especially since he had more than people after him enough to make up for the loss.

"I'm Ranma Saotome, the guy you're looking for. It's easy to tell the difference between me and the other Ranma you're fighting. I'm the really good-looking one." Ranma missed the glare Shampoo-kun shot him as he continued, "Now who are you and why do you want to kill me?"

Ryouga's mind was in turmoil from the conflicting information. How could there be two Ranma Saotomes that went around with one another? Perhaps it was some sort of trick the real Ranma was using to throw Ryouga off on his quest for vengeance. Maybe neither one was the real Ranma and these two were running interference. Actually, that seemed to make a whole lot of sense. Except for the fact he kept on homing in on these two people when he wanted to find Ranma. There was one way to be certain.

Ryouga pointed accusingly at the new Ranma Saotome. "If you're the real Ranma, then you'll know why I'm hunting you down."

"If I don't even remember who you are, how can you expect me to remember why you're hunting me down?" Ranma answered.

Ryouga was at a loss. He decided to try and give Ranma a hint. "It's the bread. Remember, it was back in junior high. We used to fight over bread at lunch."

"Nope. Can't say it's ringing any bells." That really wasn't the best reference point. All the lunches Ranma had ever eaten sort of blurred into one for him.

"You have to remember," Ryouga prodded further. "You'd humiliate me every day by snatching the last piece of bread from out of hands."

There was something about the bread that jogged Ranma's memory. Now that he thought about it, he sort of remembered something about having to pass by some guy every day to get at the last piece of bread at the school lunches, but they weren't really fights, at least not to Ranma. The guy had been more like an obstacle than anything else, which sort of made it like training. Training was something which was much easier to recall. "Okay. I kind of remember something about having to fight for bread ever day and someone tried to take them away from me-"

"You took them from me!" Ryouga shouted.

"Yeah, yeah," Ranma waved him off, annoyed at being interrupted. "Anyway, I remember. So what do you want me to do, get you some bread to make up for it?"

"This isn't about the bread, at least not anymore," Ryouga said. "It's about you running out on the match I challenged you to for stealing my bread."

Akane and Shampoo looked at Ranma in surprise. Akane spoke first. "You ran out on a fight?"

"I did not!" Ranma protested. Now he remembered what had happened. As usual, he was being portrayed as the bad guy again when it was definitely not his fault. "I showed up and waited three days for that jerk to come. But he didn't show. And since I was kind of hungry, what with only having rainwater to keep me alive for three days, I left."

"Ah ha! You admit that you are a coward!" Ryouga shouted triumphantly. "I came on the fourth day and you weren't there. You ran out on the fight."

"It was in a back lot two houses away from you!" Ranma snarled. "It shouldn't have taken even you that long to find it! I figured you weren't gonna show up."

"That's no excuse," Ryouga said.

"Of course it is!" Ranma snapped back. "My life didn't revolve around waiting for you to figure out how to go twenty feet in a straight line." Ranma began to calm down. The whole thing was becoming ridiculously silly, even by his standards. "Look, it's obvious we just missed each other and neither one of us ran out on the fight, so why don't we let bygones be bygones?"

"Never!" Ryouga shouted back. "It's not about bread anymore. It's not even about you running out on the fight. It's gone far beyond that now. Because of you, I've seen hell and lost my manhood. My life's been forever ruined thanks to you. Prepare to die!"

There was no further talk as Ryouga sheathed his umbrella and charged at Ranma. Twice he took roundhouse swings with his fists and twice Ranma dodged the blows. Leaving himself open, Ryouga then took a fist from Ranma to the stomach. In reaction, he just stood there and smiled at Ranma.

Ranma reevaluated his opponent. Hitting Ryouga's stomach was like punching a rock. As difficult as that made things, it also made Ranma sort of glad. It meant that he didn't' have to hold back.

Ryouga threw two kicks towards Ranma, again hitting nothing but the air. Once more Ryouga left his midsection open, though this time Ranma's punch managed to wind him a little. Changing tactics, Ryouga drew his umbrella and attempted to connect with three quick jabs. Again, Ranma effortlessly got out of the way. It was as Ranma dodged the third blow that Ryouga saw something that enabled him to come up with a quick plan. All it would take was once more jab.

"An umbrella has got to be the most stupid weapon I have ever seen," Ranma taunted, sticking his tongue out as he evaded the fourth thrust.

"Is it?" Ryouga said back. When Ranma had simply tilted his head out of the way of the fourth thrust, it had set him perfectly, just as Ryouga had hoped. With a flick of the wrist, the umbrella opened up, while still being behind Ranma. Ryouga pulled the umbrella back to him, drawing Ranma, who found himself caught up in the opened part of the umbrella, in close. As Ranma was involuntarily thrust forward, Ryouga applied a solid headbutt into Ranma's forehead.

Years of training took over for Ranma as he recoiled from the blow. He braced a hand on top of Ryoga's head, before the lost one could react, then jumped up, connecting with both knees to Ryouga's jaw. Even Ryouga found himself stunned by the blow and backed off. Ranma used the opportunity to back off too and leapt into a nearby tree.

"Okay, I'll admit that an umbrella is only the second most stupid weapon I've ever seen," Ranma shouted below.

Rather than seem concerned, Ryouga pulled off a bandanna and began twirling it around.  
Ranma watched as Ryouga loosed the bandanna, the fabric somehow becoming razor sharp as it hit the tree branch Ranma was standing on, severing it. The unusual nature of the attack caught Ranma flat footed as he unexpectedly found himself dropping like a rock. He didn't have a chance to hit the ground as Ryouga took his turn to connect with a punch and struck Ranma's jaw. The force of the blow sent Ranma sailing over a nearby wall and out of sight. There was no hesitation in Ryouga as he jumped over the wall, and was quickly followed by Akane and Shampoo-kun.

Upon reaching the other side, the others realized that the wall that Ranma had gone over bordered the zoo. Specifically, a panda pen. Ryouga paid little attention to the surprised pandas, who were running around trying to hide an espresso machine and tea service. Only Ranma was on his mind and he thought he had just caught sight of someone in a red top leaping over the far wall and into the zoo proper. Shampoo-kun and Akane followed hot on the heels of Ryouga.

Ranma had found a flat open space on one of the pathways of the zoo and prepared to make a stand. Instead of being confronted by Ryouga directly, he found the umbrella open once more and hurled in his direction. Again, he barely got out of the way of the unusual attack as it returned to Ryouga's hand.

Ranma silently cursed at Ryouga as the bandanna-clad youth closed the distance and swung the umbrella at Ranma again, forcing him to give ground. If Ryouga had not had the umbrella, things would have been a whole lot easier. It was as he considered on how to get rid of it that the idea occurred to him.

"Shampoo! Bonbori!"

Shampoo-kun looked in confusion at Ranma. He had played around with the bonbori early on, saying something about that if girls could use them, then he could too. The Amazon had loaned them to him, and he quickly adapted to their use. Ranma was nowhere near as skilled in using them as Shampoo-kun, but he was good enough. Now he wanted one for the fight, which made little sense to Shampoo-kun since all it would do, despite his skill, was slow him down.

"Come on!" Ranma urged as he evaded another blow or Ryouga's and backed away, giving him some space from him.

That set Shampoo-kun into motion as he threw the bonbori towards Ranma. The throw was on target as Ranma snared the weapon. He then turned towards Ryouga and shouted, "You know, that stupid umbrella would probably be dangerous if you weren't so lost that you couldn't even throw it straight."

"I'll show you!" Ryouga snarled as he again opened the umbrella and hurled it at Ranma. All Saotome could do was smile as he threw the bonbori at it deflecting it off target and hurtling it well away from both him and Ryouga.

It took a moment for Ryouga to realize how he had been set up. Instead of getting angry, he just scoffed. "You think that's going to save you? I don't need that to finish you off." Ryouga went over to a nearby tree that was about the size of a telephone pole. He looked at with determination, took a deep breath, then embraced it.

Ranma was about to make a crack about Ryouga being a 'treehugger' when he realized that the lost one was pulling up on the tree as well. "There is no way he's strong enough to do that." Ranma was considering hitting Ryouga, just to keep him from throwing out his back from his futile effort, when the ground began to bulge at the base of the tree. Earth began to fall away as the bulge grew, until a network of roots revealed themselves as the tree was pried out of the ground. Now Ryouga wielded the tree as though it was a huge battering ram.

"Here's where you get yours, Ranma," he gasped out as he thrust the base of the tree towards Ranma.

So in disbelief was Ranma at Ryouga's display of strength, that he almost allowed himself to get hit by the first thrust. After the first attack snapped him out of his stupor, Ranma easily evaded the second blow. Ryouga was not given a third chance as Ranma jumped onto the tree and traveled down its length, kicking Ryouga in the jaw.

Pressing the advantage, Ranma struck Ryouga several times. The offensive was fleeting as Ryouga recovered from the attacks and landed several blows of his own. Ranma again decided to get some range from his opponent by leaping backwards through the air once more and getting time to formulate a new plan of action.

Ryouga watched in anger as Ranma tried 'running' from the fight again. In response, he pulled several bandannas off and began spinning them around in his hand. "Ranma, you coward! You don't get away that easily."

Ranma found the path of his leap suddenly shared with a number of hurled bandannas. He shifted his body in mid-air, evading the attack, but finding himself forced to crash through the skylight over the top of one of the zoo buildings. He brought his arms in front of his face, shielding him from the glass as he broke through it and found himself plunging downward a surprising distance. Ranma looked down to see that he had crashed over a huge tank of water and was descending rapidly towards it. Fortunately, there was a steel beam which was directly over the center of the tank, no more than four feet or so above the surface. It extended from one side of the tank to the other. Ranma was able to land on the beam with ease.

Ranma started to look for a way out of the tank, when Ryouga came in through the hole in the skylight that Ranma had made upon his entry. Just as easily as Ranma had done moments before, Ryouga landed on the beam next to him.

"Nowhere to run now, Ranma," Ryouga said as he cracked his knuckles.

Ranma smirked back. With his sense of balance, it was going to be easy to knock Ryouga into the water. "You're asking for it, pal."

Just as the two prepared to renew their duel, the occupant of the tank they were suspended above decided to make an appearance. Jumping up out of the water and over the metal beam they were standing upon, Ryouga and Ranma got an up close and personal look at the twenty-eight foot fish that called the tank, 'home.'

"SHARK!" Ranma and Ryouga both cried out in panic.

"I suggest a temporary truce," Ryouga quickly blurted out, his eyes tracking the movement of the shark as it cut through the water, obviously building up speed as it circled around the tank.

"Agreed." Ranma and his father hadn't been harassed by any sharks when they had to swim to China, but it had still been something that had been in the back of his mind when he had made the trip. Just seeing 'Jaws' before had not helped either.

Both of the men tensed up and prepared to leap when the shark made a sharp turn and headed directly for the beam. This time when it jumped, it hit the bottom of them beam, shaking it enough to cause both Ranma and Ryouga to end up in the water.

Ranma had just enough time to grab a breath of air before hitting the water. As he hit, the curse activated itself and it was a red-haired girl whose head broke the water. She was looking around, trying to locate Ryouga, when she spotted the dark shape a dorsal fin as it began circling around its floating 'visitor'.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. The beam was too high for her to reach, and there didn't appear to be any platforms or doors with which she could use to escape. She was trapped.

As she finished her quick survey, she noticed that the dorsal fin had stopped circling and now made a straight line for her. The huge jaws of the shark opened and prepare to dine on its 'Saotome snack.' Ranma-chan froze for a moment as the shark lunged for her.

The rows of teeth the shark showed off as it opened its mouth wide captivated Ranma-chan's attention, so it was only with her peripheral vision that she spotted a blur hit the shark from above. The impact was enough to make it twist its head to the side and miss Ranma-chan, though its body brushed against the small girl's and shoved her through the water. It was that contact that broke Ranma-chan out of her paralysis.

She looked around to see that the object that had hit the shark was now floating in the water next to her. "Shampoo, what are you doing here?"

"Saving Ranma from shark," Shampoo-kun said.

"Okay. Now who's going to save you from the shark?"

Shampoo-kun followed Ranma-chan's pointed finger. Already the shark shook off the blow Shampoo-kun had landed with his bonbori and was circling around both of the floating meals. The cursed Amazon found he didn't have an answer and began to panic.

Fifteen feet above the water, at the top of the tank where people could look down and observe the shark swimming, stood Akane. She felt helpless as she tried thinking about what to do. Upon running into the building, she and Shampoo-kun figured out where the busted skylight was and raced to the shark tank. They arrived just in time to see Ranma fall into the water and have his curse triggered. It only took them an additional second to spot the shark as it began to circle Ranma-chan. Akane's first impulse was to dive in and help rescue her fiancé, but she stopped herself just in time as she remembered that she not only couldn't swim, but had all of the buoyancy of a rock. So it fell to Shampoo-kun to jump in and make the save. But it had only been a temporary respite as the shark was unaffected by the blow and now instead of one, it was two people that needed to be rescued. That meant it was up to Akane to save the day.

She looked around, trying to find something that could be of use -like a spear gun to shoot the shark or a dead cow lying around to feed it- so it wouldn't try to dine on any of the swimmers in the tank. The only thing she found was a length of rope that had been left coiled on top of an large open box that had 'do not open' written on the side. Akane hoped it was long enough, and that she had enough time, as she grabbed it and rushed back to the side of the tank. There was no time was to tie the rope onto anything, so she dropped one side into the tank and held onto the other one, hoping she was strong enough to do what had to be done. The thrown end uncoiled downward until it hit the water. It reached.

"Grab on to the rope!" Akane shouted as she braced herself against the safety railing circling the top of the tank.

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun both turned at the sound of the voice and spotted the rope. They swam as hard as they could, watching as the rope get closer while praying all the time that the shark was still circling and had not closed the distance to them.

As they reached the rope, Ranma-chan ordered Shampoo-kun to go up first, promising she would be right behind. The boy did as he was told and began scampering up the rope. Ranma-chan took a moment to look behind to see if she could spot the shark. The dorsal fin had disappeared from the surface of the water; that was not a good sign.

Shampoo-kun was more than halfway up the rope before he paused a moment to look at his companion. Ranma-chan's word had been good as she trailed right behind Shampoo-kun on the rope. He was about to look upward and estimate the distance he had left to climb when the water beneath them fell away and the huge maw of the shark erupted from the water. It had gone underwater and built up speed as so that it could propel itself upward and reach its fleeing prey. Now it was Shampoo-kun's turn for awe to mix with fear as she saw two rows of sharp teeth head up towards her and Ranma-chan, intent on getting one last shot at grabbing a quick meal.

He stopped climbing and threw his body as far to the right as he could, hoping his male form had enough mass to shift the rope far enough to the side to prevent the shark from reaching either one of them in its leap. The rope's shift seemed to take forever as they began to move to the left, even as the shark's body closed the distance between them. Shampoo-kun's muscles strained to somehow twist the rope even farther to the right as the shark came to the height that Ranma-chan was at and brushed against the bottom of her feet with the side of its jaw. That was all the contact it got as it and passed by up and beyond the duo. Shampoo-kun was paralyzed with fear as the huge jaws passed within a foot of his own position of the rope, going slightly above her head before beginning its downward plunge.

As the shark passed Ranma-chan, and hit the apex of its arc, anger at the creature's actions flooded her being. How dare it try to eat Ranma Saotome. In retaliation, she leaned outward and lashed out with her own teeth, sinking them into the creature's dorsal fin and ripping out a small chunk of it as the shark began to fall back towards the water.

Ranma-chan spit out the piece as the shark hit the water. "Yuck! I hate sushi."

"Quit horsing around and get up here! I can't hold this thing forever!" Akane shouted from her position at the railing. Neither one of them was particularly light, and her arms were beginning to feel the strain of supporting both of their weight.

The duo hurried up the chain before the shark got a second chance. As they made it above the railing, all three collapsed in exhaustion.

"Are you guys okay?" Akane gasped out

Two voices gasped out 'yes' as they continued to come down from their physical high. It was as Ranma-chan continued to lay on her back that she suddenly cried out, "Ryouga!" She shot to her feet and looked over the side of the railing towards the water far below.

The other two joined him at the side, eyes also scanning the surface of the water. "We didn't seem him. You were the only one in there," Akane said

"Is true," Shampoo-kun said in agreement. "Ryouga no in water when Ranma was."

"He was there," Ranma-chan insisted. Her eyes scanned the length of the tank, but there was no sign of him, not even a bandanna. "Shark must of eaten him whole before it went after me. Poor guy. And it was all over some dumb bread."

All three gave a prayer for the dead. Not knowing what else to do, they turned and left the aquarium. As they departed, none of them spotted the black shape that detached itself from its hiding place on Ranma-chan's back. The creature shook off some water, and took off into the air and through the hole that was in the skylight.

"...and we no see strange boy anymore. Ryouga must have get eaten by shark," Shampoo said as she finished relating the events of a few days ago to Kasumi.

Kasumi sighed at the poor boy's fate, though she couldn't understand how a shark that was under thirty feet long could swallow someone whole. She was glad the others had come out of it unscathed.

It seemed there was something new almost everyday as time went on. Certainly things had not been that interesting when Kasumi had gone to school. It seemed there was a variety of new people making their presence known in and around Nerima, and most of them seemed attracted to either Ranma or Shampoo, or both.

That was why it seemed to be such a nice idea to ask Shampoo if she wanted to go shopping with her. It would give the Amazon time to relax and do something normal, outside of the schoolwork she complained so bitterly about. Shampoo had jumped at the opportunity immediately and the two of them had set out for the market. Currently they were outside, looking over some of the streetside vendors' wares. Sometimes they offered very good deals on food, clothing, or even bamboo shoots for Mr. Saotome.

Asking Shampoo along had proved to be a good idea. In spite of the differences in culture and lifestyle, the two did have some things in common. Among them was the ability to cook. Shampoo did seem to know a great deal, especially for one that counted herself a warrior. Kasumi did prove more knowledgeable, and was surprised at how close Shampoo paid attention to some of the dishes she mentioned and asked for some clarification on how to prepare them.

And then there were Shampoo's insights on what she thought of Japan. Kasumi found herself intrigued by the way Shampoo saw things through her eyes. So much of it involved awe, at least in the early parts of her arrival in Japan. Shampoo had never been far from her village. She was aware of cities and what they looked like -there were more than enough books with pictures that described the world outside of Joketsuzoku- but reading about them was nothing when compared to experiencing them firsthand. Most of the awe from those early days had disappeared as Shampoo became more used to the world now surrounding her, but there was still a little bit of wonder when she talked about the city.

Shampoo had also seemed quite happy to share her observations with Kasumi. She hadn't really talked about them with any of the others. Ranma wasn't really that interested, Nabiki couldn't have cared less, and Akane didn't seem to have much time. But when it came to Kasumi, she had the time, so when Shampoo talked, she listened.

They had only been shopping a little while when Shampoo excused herself, telling Kasumi that she wished to look for some clothes at one of the nearby stores. After waving good-bye, Kasumi took a moment to look at the sky. She had heard on the news that there was over an eighty percent chance for rain today, but somehow she had forgotten to being an umbrella with her on the trip to the market. The sky had been overcast when they had set out, and at first Kasumi believed she and Shampoo would have been rained on, but now it was beginning to clear up, and it appeared there was going to be no chance of rain today. Kasumi was unaware of how her brow creased ever so slightly at that. The crease disappeared as she returned to looking at the prices of vegetables.

Shampoo's fingers played over the fine shirt on the rack. It was Chinese in style, which met with her approval. She might not have been in her homeland any longer, but she could still dress like it. Besides, Japanese fashions generally were not to her taste. Some dresses and blouses were all right, but given a choice she would stick with what she knew best.

Going out shopping with Kasumi had been a good idea. Aside from Ranma, there really wasn't anyone she spent time with, and as nice as Ranma usually was, there were times when she simply didn't feel like being in his presence. That meant being alone, but that could get boring very quickly as well. Akane was all right, but she tended to have other interests which took up her time. As to Nabiki, Shampoo would rather have been alone than have to risk hanging around with the girl and becoming involved in one of her schemes.

Kasumi was a different matter. There seemed to be few people the eldest of the Tendou daughters spent time with, and outside of keeping house, she did not seem to do much else. There were times when she visited some doctor and occasionally came back with books, but beyond that there seemed to be little in the way of outside interests. True, the two had little in common, but Kasumi had always treated her nicely, very nicely in fact, and Shampoo felt inclined to reciprocate.

The idea of a woman keeping house instead of fighting was hardly an alien concept to Shampoo. In many ways, Kasumi sort of reminded Shampoo of some of the non-warriors that were in the village. Many of the village women were not all that different in manners from her, though many of them tended to be more forceful in personality. They were many that not involved with the training warriors had undergone. Farming, crafting, keeping house like many of the village men were what some women did, just like Kasumi. Oh, some of the non-fighters might aspire to take a warrior's vows and gain respect that way, but for the most part there were many families with very few warriors in their ranks and they would remain that way for generations. Shampoo easily pictured Kasumi in a similar role.

Shampoo had rarely spent time with those sorts of women, since they lacked the prestige the warrior's carried, but her great grandmother had made certain Shampoo understood that though they were not warriors, they were still worthy of respect, for they did the jobs that needed to be done. Jobs the warriors would have been doing otherwise. That was a lesson Shampoo did learn, and thus never derided anyone because of their job. Better they do some undesirable task than she herself having to do it.

And now Shampoo found herself in the company of a homemaker, and enjoying it. They had exchanged cooking tips, of which Kasumi was far more knowledgeable than Shampoo, among other things. Shampoo found Kasumi actually seemed interested when the Amazon mentioned what she thought of Japan. It had turned into an unexpectedly pleasant day.

"[Hello there, Shampoo. Fancy meeting you here.]"

If there was ever a moment in Shampoo's life when she felt true terror, it had been upon hearing that voice come from behind her. She began to turn around. A small part of her mind cried out to remain where she was, for if she did not turn around, then what was there would not harm her. But she ignored such flighty thoughts and turned to see it was as she feared. The old woman was perched on her staff, as was so often the case when she wanted to talk to someone eye-to-eye. It was small surprise that even in the months since Shampoo had left her home, that her great grandmother, Cologne, would not have changed.

She stared at the old woman, wishing the event of the past few months had been nothing but a dream and she would wake up now, save and sound in bed and everything having been a dream, but they were not and she did not. Her paralysis lasted only another moment before her survival instincts caught up and forced her to take the only option she could come up with.

Shampoo turned and ran.

Cologne looked on in surprise. It was true that Shampoo had disappeared from Joketsuzoku without a word and it had taken over two months to track her wayward great granddaughter down, but never had Cologne thought Shampoo would look so terrified of her own great grandmother and flee as she had just done. The elder waited a few moments to see if Shampoo would stop and turn, but when she kept running at top speed and threatened to get lost among the crowd, Cologne took the only option available to her and began hopping along on her stick in an effort to catch up to her fleeing offspring.

Kasumi heard a commotion come from her right and was surprised to see Shampoo rushing towards her very quickly. She was about to greet the Amazon when Shampoo, not slowing down for an instant, grabbed Kasumi by the arm and dragged her along.

Kasumi found it difficult to keep up with Shampoo, and was more pulled along than anything else. As they raced up the street, she saw Shampoo pause long enough to grab a glass of water from off the table of an open air café and dart down an alleyway with Kasumi in tow. After running only a little distance down the alley, Shampoo at last stopped.

Kasumi at last had a chance to catch her breath and was about to ask what was going on, when Shampoo threw the water over her head. Kasumi's heart skipped a beat as she was suddenly confronted by the much taller, and handsome, cursed form that was so close to her. Even as her mind tried to sort out exactly what was going on, while finding out she didn't seem to mind being dragged into an alleyway anymore, Shampoo-kun wrapped his arms around Kasumi and drew her close. The action scrambled what little chance she had of trying to say something coherent, and when Shampoo-kun tilted Kasumi's head up, then lowered his head so his lips met hers, the last cognizant thoughts left her mind.

Cologne rounded the corner and looked towards the alleyway. For the briefest of moments she had lost complete sight of Shampoo, and was worried that she had lost the trail. But as she her eyes scanned the street, she thought she caught a glimpse of purple rush into an alleyway. Cologne hopped off at top speed, confident she could catch Shampoo, even if she was running as fast as she could. With any luck the alley might even be a dead end, which would trap Shampoo and then the explanations as to her great granddaughter's bizarre behavior would be forthcoming. That she would go all the way to Japan without explanation was inexplicable. That she would also flee in terror from her own great-grandmother defied anything Cologne could come up with. There were occasions when Cologne liked figuring out a mystery; this was not one of them.

Cologne hoped into the alleyway and spotted the two people nearby. With a hop she closed the distance to the couple. After a second hop she gave pause. The clothing on one of the figures was correct, but that was all. The figure that bore the same style of clothing Shampoo had been wearing was a good bit taller than Cologne's great granddaughter. And had the wrong shade of coloring to the hair. And was male. Also was the fact was that he was busy making out with the young woman in his embrace, and judging by the way the young woman's hands were playing up and down the man's back, was doing a good job of it.

Cologne allowed the lovers their privacy and hopped back out on the street. It was just her luck to lose track of Shampoo in the crowd. And now that she had wasted her time by following the young couple and had most likely lost Shampoo altogether. Still, if her young charge was still in Nerima, it would only be a matter of time before Cologne caught up to her. There would be no more escapes for Shampoo.

Kasumi's face was still pointed upward, even after Shampoo-kun broke off the kiss and looked towards the mouth of the alley. It had been just as the books had said. She felt light-headed, was unable to think clearly, was barely able to stand upright, and couldn't seem to maintain any coherent thoughts. She had a concussion.

Kasumi shook her head clear of that thought. The medical books she borrowed from Dr. Tofu had indeed said that those were the symptoms to look for when diagnosing a concussion. It was true that the kiss had left her with all of those symptoms, but from the few romance novels she had read when she was younger, those were also the characteristics of enjoying being kissed by someone that really knew how to do it. It was odd how so many of the attributes of each were the same.

She focused her thoughts on Shampoo-kun, and as her head cleared, the full effects of what had just transpired fully hit her. Kasumi had just been kissed by a girl. Well, a girl that looked, and felt, and was essentially a man when it happened, but was really a girl. Although it didn't feel like a girl's kiss, but more like a man's kiss. At least that was what Kasumi thought, even though she had never really been kissed by a man. But Kasumi was certain that if she had been kissed by a girl she would never have kissed back, even if technically she had been kissed by a girl and had kissed back, although that was more of an automatic reaction rather than any planned kind of thought.

She tried regaining her composure. Her thoughts were still horribly erratic, but she managed to get out, "Ah, Shampoo. Why did you just kiss me?"

Shampoo-kun turned to her, fear wide in her eyes. "Great Grandmother here." And Shampoo-kun began to explain what that meant for him.

After Shampoo-kun was finished with his tale, all Kasumi could say was, "Oh my."

It was almost an hour later before Shampoo-kun and Kasumi made their way back to the Tendou house. Kasumi had gotten over the full implications of what was in store for Shampoo-kun, and some of the things that were going to have to be done to protect him from discovery. That meant informing the rest of the household of what was going on.

Even as Kasumi tried making plans for what to do next, her mind also raced with coming to terms with the kiss. Shampoo-kun had assured her it was done solely to camouflage him from Cologne, and not in any actual interest he might have in Kasumi, which should have reassured her but instead evoked a feeling of disappointment. That bewildered Kasumi, since she knew that she definitely did not want girls to kiss her. People would get the wrong idea about her. It was all terribly confusing.

She gave up on that line of thinking and instead helped Shampoo-kun round up everyone in the Tendou house. In very little time everyone had taken a place around the dining room table and the discussion began.

Shampoo-kun found himself feeling guilty as he tried to figure out how to begin. It was true he should have mentioned something about the circumstances surrounding him before now, but there just never seemed to be a good time. That, and he was uncertain of how the others would react to his revelations. Still, there was no longer any choice in the matter. He gave off a deep sigh, and began the story.

"Shampoo great grandmother track Shampoo down and now she in Japan."

Everyone just stared at her.

"So?" Nabiki finally asked.

Shampoo-kun elaborated. "If Shampoo Great Grandmother find Shampoo then she make her go back to China."

That caught Nabiki's interest as she shot to her feet. "You can't do that! Just tell her no!"

Ranma shrugged, trying to figure out why his time was being wasted like this. "Yeah. It ain't like she can force you to go."

"You not know Great Grandmother." Shampoo-kun shook his head.

Ranma scoffed. "What's she going to do? Run over your feet with her wheelchair until you give in?"

Shampoo-kun looked at Ranma in confusion. "Great Grandmother no use wheelchair. Great grandmother is leader of peoples and very great fighter. No one is as good as her. Not even Ranma."

Ranma looked at her in disbelief. Where did Shampoo-kun get off telling him some geriatric old coot was a better fighter than he was? It was an insult. "Yeah, right. You're crazy. Old people ain't a threat."

As the last word left his mouth, he found himself confronted by Genma and Soun who were on their knees before him in obvious fright. Genma spoke first. "That's not true, boy. Old people can make you do terrible things."

"Like steal food," Soun added.

"Or skip out on bills," Genma pointed out.

"Or steal women's underwear."

"Or distract authorities so they can get away with crimes."

"Or chain you to a tree and starve you as a form of training."

"What are you guys talking about?" Akane asked as Genma and Soun reached a near-hysterical level of behavior.

Akane's voice seemed to shock the two father's back to the real world. They comforted each other with the fact that they would never have to undergo such training ever again.

"We only mean that hypothetically, of course," Soun explained.

"Anyway boy, don't underestimate old people," Genma concluded.

"Yeah, right," Ranma snorted in disgust. No old person would be able to take him in a fight.

Shampoo-kun cleared his throat so that he could regain everyone's attention. "Ranma no understand. Not supposed to refuse, Great Grandmother. She leader of village and everyone has to follow her."

Ranma looked at her in confusion. "You never mentioned that to us."

Shampoo-kun began to feel the first vestiges of guilt begin to affect him. He had hoped Ranma would not have cared about that. The Amazon looked towards Kasumi for reassurance. The eldest Tendou daughter gave Shampoo-kun a sympathetic look and nodded her head, indicating he should continue. "Shampoo not tell many things. Shampoo sorry, so she tell now. Shampoo tell Ranma and Pop about how she mighty warrior in village and can no go back because boy."

Ranma began to relax a bit. This was information he knew. "Yeah. I kind of figured it's got something to do with how you guys are all girls and now you're a man, so that could kind of be embarrassing or something."

Shampoo-kun found himself shifting nervously. "There more to it than that. Is against law for Amazon to become man. Even if not warrior, can still no turn into man and get Nanniichuan curse. Is one of Amazon's most sacred laws. No one break it in over three hundred years."

"It was just an accident. No one can blame you for that," Akane said.

Shampoo-kun found himself shuddering as the full consequences of what he had done came to the forefront again. ""That no make difference. Is no excuse for becoming mans."

"And what happens to someone if they get hit with a Nanniichuan curse?" Soun asked.

The Amazon composed himself as best as he could. "One of two things. Either banishment or death."

The others looked on in shock. Kasumi placed her hand over Shampoo-kun's in an effort to comfort him.

"If it was an accident, they'd banish you, right?" Akane asked, not feeling very confident about the answer.

"If Shampoo had gone to home right away, maybe. Maybe not. Probably not. But since Shampoo run, is no chance of that now. If they find Shampoo has boy-type curse, is death for sure."

"If your great grandmother is the leader, can't she protect you?" Nabiki asked.

"No," Shampoo-kun shook his head. "Even if she could make them banish Shampoo instead of kill, it would no work. Great grandmother being leader is worse that way. One cursed with Nanniichuan is expected to kill self to make up for grave crime that was done. If warrior banished instead of kill self, then dishonor fall on family. Great grandmother would not want family to suffer for Shampoo mistake, and Shampoo not want family to suffer either," she added.

Nabiki considered everything that she had heard. "Well, I think the answer's simple. She doesn't know you're a guy, right? So just remain one until she leaves."

"That not work," Shampoo-kun said. "Great Grandmother not leave now she know Shampoo here. She stay until find, and eventually she figure out what going on. Great grandmother is very smart. She figure out eventually."

"Well, we won't let her take you," Akane slammed a fist on the table. She turned to Ranma. "Isn't that right?"

Ranma looked up at her, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Yeah, I won't let her get Shampoo," he said distractedly.

After that, the meeting broke up and everyone but Kasumi and Shampoo-kun went their separate ways. Kasumi remained behind to continue to reassure the Amazon that everything would be all right.

Shampoo-kun eventually left Kasumi's side, feeling a little better after receiving such heartfelt sympathy. However, his mind eventually turned to the other he would have to confront. Someone that might not have understood why he had did what he had done. After getting some hot water, it took Shampoo only minutes to locate Ranma. Apparently, after he had left the meeting he went to the dojo and had begun working out. He was sweating appreciatively and moving through his katas quickly, but it was obvious to Shampoo that there was an intensity in the patterns that wasn't usually there. It could have meant many things, but there was one in particular that Shampoo feared was the cause.

Before the Amazon could say anything, Ranma spoke. "Why didn't you tell me?" Even as he asked the question, he continued uninterrupted through the katas.

"W...Why not Shampoo tell you what?" Even Shampoo realized she didn't sound the least bit convincing.

If Ranma noticed, he gave no indication of it. "About your grandmother, and the real reason why you left the village."

It was just as she had feared. Part of Shampoo wanted to say it didn't matter and try to play off the whole situation as insignificant, but she knew it wouldn't work. She began her explanation as best as she could, fearing it would make no difference anyway. "Shampoo knew could no stay in village when fall into spring. Had to go away. Far away. When meet Ranma, she know you from far away lands. You offer to help Shampoo, so Shampoo accept offer and go with you. If Ranma find out travel with Shampoo might bring trouble, Shampoo think you not want her go with you. Then Shampoo all alone. Is no one else that can help. Shampoo not know what to do if that happen."

Ranma continued with his katas, moving even more quickly through them, as he said, "Fine. Why didn't you tell me after you got to know me?"

"Shampoo not know how to tell since she no tell before. Maybe think it seem like Shampoo use Ranma only to get to Japan and Shampoo not do that. Shampoo like being around Ranma. Shampoo not want to have to leave, so not say anything."

Ranma's voice became louder as he continued his kata. "You should have trusted me. Pop I could understand, I don't trust him half the time, but me? Have I ever done anything to make you think I would ditch you because of a little trouble?"

"No," Shampoo answered, fear trickling into her voice as she felt Ranma getting progressively angrier by the moment. There was nothing Shampoo felt she could come up with that would satisfy Ranma's anger. Nothing.

Ranma hid nothing as he moved with even more speed through the katas and sounded even angrier than before. "So, even after you knew you could trust me, and I wouldn't run out on you, you still didn't feel the need to tell me?"

Shampoo's voice began to crack. "Shampoo explain to Ranma, not know how to tell to make you understand."

And at last Ranma halted, stopping in mid-motion in one of the katas. It was in the middle of a high ax kick that Ranma stopped, his foot remaining high in the air, unwavering. His voice was smooth and lacking any anger whatsoever as he said, "You told Kasumi."

Shampoo looked at him, stunned. "What you mean?"

Ranma remained as motionless as a statue. "I watched Kasumi the whole time you were telling us about your grandmother. She wasn't surprised in the least. She already knew all about it. You already told her."

Shampoo had no idea of what to say. How could she tell him that she had to tell Kasumi because she kissed the girl, and couldn't have left it at that? "Telling Kasumi was no for same reason Shampoo not tell you."

Ranma at last dropped his leg down. He turned to look at Shampoo-kun, anger evident on his features. "So what you're saying is, you trusted somebody that you've known for only several weeks, more than someone you've known for several months."

Shampoo felt like crying. It was turning out worse than she imagined. She had guessed that Ranma might have been angry with her for not telling the truth sooner, but this was completely unexpected. He was positively enraged. And with the pain that had already been plaguing Shampoo since her great grandmother's return, the pain from the knowledge that someone she loved would probably send her to his death, she began to break down. Tears formed in her eyes as she stammered out. "Shampoo not know... don't know how..." And she ran off, exiting by shattering one of the dojo walls in her haste as her sobs trailed behind her.

Ranma felt his anger disappear almost as quickly as Shampoo had run off. Guilt began replacing the anger as he immediately felt sorry for his behavior. He tried forcing the guilt away since it was just plain wrong. He had every right to be angry for Shampoo lying to him like that. As mad as he was at being kept in the dark, he didn't think he would have been so angry if Kasumi had not obviously known about it beforehand. How could Shampoo show more trust in Kasumi than him? Even he was surprised by how much that detail had bothered him.

The debate about remaining angry with Shampoo, or letting it go and maybe hunting her down, was interrupted when Akane came in through the hole in the wall. She took a good look at it, and began putting two and two together. "What did you do to Shampoo?"

Ranma heard the accusation in her voice, as though he were the bad guy. "I didn't do nothin'."

"Then why was she running from you and crying?"

The stress of the whole situation began to tell on Ranma as he said, "Look it's between Shampoo and me! All right?"

"No it is not all right!" Akane snapped back. "She's under a great deal of pressure and your doing whatever it is you're doing to her isn't helping things. Whatever you're arguing about can wait until later."

"I just found out about it! I couldn't let it pass."

"That is so typical of you," Akane snorted. "If you have a problem then you have to solve it, no matter who gets trampled on in the process. Your father's right. You do only think about yourself." She turned to leave. "I am going to help Shampoo, because, unlike you, I do care about other people." And without a backward glance she walked out.

Ranma stood there, looking at the hole in the wall. Akane was wrong. He wasn't the bad guy here, Shampoo was. But even so, he began to consider the words Akane had said.

Akane ran through the neighborhood, looking for Shampoo. Following the trail was actually easy as Shampoo had apparently been so overcome with emotion that she left a trail of broken walls behind her, making 'doors' in anything that was in her path. Eventually the trail ended at the top of a small office building with a water tower on the top. What was even more surprising was that Shampoo was in her normal form, sitting out in the open for the whole world to see. As Shampoo turned to see the newcomer, Akane got a good look at her face. Shampoo's eyes were red-rimmed, obviously from crying. Whatever Ranma had done had upset Shampoo even worse that Akane had imagined.

Akane's heart went out to her as she talked in soothing tones. "It's dangerous for you to be out like this until we take care of this grandmother business. Why don't we get you some water so you can change?"

"It not matter Great Grandmother find or not. Shampoo no care anymore," Shampoo stared off in the distance.

"And why is that?" Akane asked.

"Ranma hate Shampoo."

So that was what it was about. Akane was surprised at how strong a reaction Shampoo was having to whatever words had been exchanged between her and Ranma. "Look, Ranma has all the sensitivity of a rock. Don't pay any attention to what he says. Whatever it is that's got him angry at you is no big deal."

Shampoo shook her head. "Ranma right to be angry. Shampoo know do bad thing but not fix it. So should be punished."

"And do you honestly believe that your grandmother finding you is the solution to the problem?"

Hesitation creeped into Shampoo's voice. "Shampoo not know what to think. Never been in situation like this. Not know how deal with it."

Victory was at hand. Akane saw that she had gotten through to Shampoo. All that was left was to get her out of the public eye so they could discuss things in private. "Look, we'll go inside, change you, and talk about it. O.K."

Shampoo nodded her head in agreement, feeling better at the brief talk Akane gave. Just as she got up, she saw the figure that now stood a little distance behind Akane. The gasp Shampoo gave out attracted Akane's attention. She turned around to see what it was Shampoo was staring at. Much to Akane's surprise, it was a gnome on top of a stick.

Cologne cleared her throat. "Please stay. I have a few questions to ask." The tone was polite, but held an undertone of command to it.

Akane looked at the old woman closely. She didn't appear harmful, but there was something about her that made Akane cautious anyway. Still, the conversation was civil, at least for the moment. "So you're her grandmother?"

"Yes. And you are?"

"I'm Akane Tendou."

Cologne gave a brief bow from atop her staff. "I am pleased to meet you. Now if you'll excuse us, I have a few things to discuss with my great granddaughter."

Akane made certain Cologne would have to go through her to get to Shampoo. "I'm sorry but she really doesn't want to talk to you right now. Why don't you go back to China and wait for her to work things out? I'm sure she'll come back when she's ready." Akane didn't have any real hope for her proposal, but she felt she had to try. She did tense up, expecting things to change at any second.

There was little in the way of an outward change involving Cologne, but both Akane and Shampoo could feel the irritation creep into the elder's voice. "Shampoo is coming with me. She has many things that she still has to do. Starting with telling me why she came to Japan." She turned to Shampoo and began speaking in Chinese. "[It took a long while to track you down Granddaughter and I am not pleased. Why are you in Japan?]"

Shampoo found the courage to answer. "[I cannot tell you, Great Grandmother. Forgive me.]"

Cologne's patience was at an end. She had tried being polite. She had tried being understanding, yet her own flesh and blood was defying her with little hesitation. Something was going on, and Cologne was damned if she wasn't going to get to the bottom of it immediately. "[Shampoo, You will do what I say. Come here!]"

Akane grew frustrated at being unable to follow the conversation. "I don't know what you two are talking about, but Shampoo is staying here. Got it!"

Cologne turned to Akane, a hint of menace in her eyes. "This is none of your business, Akane Tendou. If you seek to interfere with Amazon matters, you will be dealt with in Amazon fashion."

"Just try it!" Akane got into a defensive stance. She didn't know how powerful Cologne was, but it didn't matter. She wasn't going to take Shampoo anywhere without a fight.

"Stay away from them!"

All three sets of eyes turned to the newcomer. Akane and Shampoo both said, "Ranma."

"Looks like I got here just in time." Ranma had reluctantly admitted to himself that Akane had a point. No matter how angry he was at Shampoo, he could have waited to deal with it. Besides, it was going outside as a girl that had placed her in danger, and he had been a little bit responsible for getting her angry enough to do that. Although it was also Shampoo's fault for not thinking more clearly than that. Now it appeared Shampoo's great grandmother had indeed found her wayward charge. And if Shampoo had not been exaggerating, Ranma knew it would fall to him to save the day.

"Look, Granny," Ranma warned as he approached Cologne. "Shampoo doesn't wanna go with you and that's final. So why don't you just hop along back to China before we have to send you there."

Shampoo watched in horror as, instead of attacking, Ranma placed his hand on Cologne's shoulder. Cologne's eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she placed her own hand on top of Ranma's and with a flick of her wrist, hurled him fifteen feet away, causing him to land on his back.

His pride damaged far more than his body, Ranma returned to his feet and rushed to the attack, now more than aware of his opponent's martial arts abilities. "You're a tricky old thing, aren't you? Well you won't fool me a second time."

Cologne casually dodged his first two attempted blows, slightly impressed by both the skill and speed with which he delivered them. For his troubles he received a swat between the eyes from Cologne's staff. The blow was sufficient to cause Ranma to back off for a moment.

"You have potential, Ranma, was it?. You're pretty good," Cologne informed him.

Ranma was unable to tell if she was being serious or if she was mocking him. In either case, he prepared to attack her again. "You ain't seen nuthin' yet."

Ranma attacked using all of his abilities, but his frustration rose as the old woman seemed to evade or block all of his attacks with ridiculous ease. Slowly, she began to retaliate, each one of her carefully chosen blows landing on their mark. Even as she fought Ranma, she kept one eye on the other two girls nearby. She saw Akane, and much to Cologne's surprise, Shampoo, wince every time Cologne landed a blow on the boy. After hitting Ranma several more times to be sure, she temporarily broke off the attack by hurling Ranma away from her once more.

Cologne turned to Shampoo. "I think I understand now. Shampoo, did this boy defeat you in combat and make you come to Japan as his wife? You should have told me. I would have had a long talk with him about the merits of Joketsuzoku. He is a good one, an excellent fighter. Good-looking as well. There would have been no shame in losing to him."

Shampoo felt her cheeks become warmer at the mere suggestion that she and Ranma were married. "Shampoo not fight Ranma. He not husband."

Cologne let out a sigh. She had been so certain that was what had happened. "Then why did you come to Japan? There are many important things for you to do back home. You don't have time for vacations." She smacked the attacking Ranma to the side.

"Shampoo can no tell."

Ranma's temper had hit the breaking point. The old woman was carrying on a conversation with someone and treating him like he was an annoying flea. "Quit talking like I'm not here and fight, you old ghoul!"

Cologne took his advice and casually tossed him through one of the chimneys on the roof. Seeing the blow had sufficiently stunned Ranma enough to keep him out of the way for a while, she turned back to Shampoo. Much to Cologne's surprise, Akane now stood between her and her goal.

"It's my turn now." And with that as her battle cry, Akane attacked.

The ancient Amazon deflected her attacks even more casually than she had Ranma's. Nonetheless, she found herself impressed once again. "Not bad, girl. I didn't know Japanese women could fight as well as you. Ever consider becoming an Amazon? We are always willing to embrace those that can fight."

"No thanks. I'm happy at home," Akane said as she tried to get through Cologne's defenses. Although she did find herself flattered by the offer. Most people didn't seem to take her martial arts skills seriously anymore. At least not since Ranma and Shampoo had hit town.

"That's too bad," Cologne said as she allowed Akane to overextend on a punch and maneuvered behind her. A quick touch to a pressure point on the back of Akane's neck caused her to collapse in a heap. With the last defender out of the way, Cologne turned to Shampoo.

"Did you hurt her?" Shampoo asked.

"It was nothing more than a pressure point attack," Cologne explained. "[Now, Great- Granddaughter, where were we?]"

Shampoo looked the scene of carnage over. Even if she could bring herself to fight her great grandmother, she wouldn't have stood a chance. Before today, Shampoo would have insisted that if her great grandmother had found her, she would have fought with everything she had to keep from being forced to go back to home and her death. But now, she found her spirit faltering, especially with what had gone on with Ranma earlier in the day. It was time to show her great grandmother the truth and see what would come about.

"[I can show you why I left.]" Shampoo walked under the nearby water tower that was on the roof. With a quick jump, she brought her fist upward and shattered the bottom of the quarter-filled tank. The water was torrential as it poured from out of the bottom of the tower and drenched Shampoo, temporarily obscuring her from view. As the last of the water fell from the tower, Cologne got an unrestricted view of her 'great granddaughter.'

Cologne stood there, mouth agape. There was nothing that could have prepared her for the horror her eyes beheld. Now Shampoo's previous behavior made perfect sense. A Nanniichuan curse. How could it have happened? No Amazon had received the curse since before Cologne was born, and now it had happened to her very own great granddaughter. A sinking feeling in Cologne's stomach made its presence known. The feeling was so great, it was as though the elder had found out Shampoo had died. In truth, it might have been better if such a thing had occurred. Now, with a Nanniichaun curse and the dishonor that would follow, Shampoo might have been given a fate even worse than a simple death.

Cologne's mind was still reeling from the starling revelation when a blow struck her fully in the back of the head. For the first time in one hundred years, she had completely dropped her guard, and it was at that moment that the recovered Ranma chose to strike as hard as he could. One solid blow was all it took to crumple Cologne over and cause her to fall to the ground, unconscious.

Ranma looked over the prone body, barely convinced that he had won so easily. He had been certain the old ghoul was going to dodge the blow. That he had connected so effortlessly came as a shock to him. Then his ego kicked in and reassured him that he would've won anyway, so a lucky break just made the inevitable arrive more quickly.

Shampoo-kun rushed over to examine his great grandmother. That she had discovered the truth meant nothing; he still cared for her. "Sorry, Great Grandmother," he said too quiet for the others to hear.

The pressure point move wore off of Akane as she regained her feet and joined the others. "What do we do now?"

Ranma placed his hand to his chin in thought. After a few moments, it came to him. "I got an idea."

Cologne awakened from the dreams of plying the Indian Ocean as a privateer, just as she had in her youth. She was surprised, since she had not had that dream in well over a hundred years. It was as she opened her eyes that she discovered that the smell of brine was not exclusive to her dreams. Sitting up, she found herself on the open seas on a large raft with several crates of food on it. There was, however, no sign of either sail or motor with which to propel the craft. Once she found her staff had been also placed on the raft, it didn't matter. She immediately placed in the water and, using a modified kachuu tenshin amagurikan, spun it like a propeller. In moments she was speeding along on the ocean almost as quickly as if she did have an engine.

Returning to civilization, and then Japan, would take a while, but it was just as well. She needed time to not only let the newfound information concerning Shampoo's curse settle in, but exactly what she was going to do about it. Whatever course she would take, she knew it would not be an easy one. And it would not bode well for Shampoo, no matter what.

Epilogue

The diminutive figure pulled itself out of the cave and into the cloud covered day. After being trapped in the blasted thing for a decade, a lighting bolt had finally shattered the huge boulder that had been blocking the opening. It took the small man several minutes to reorient himself, now that he was aware of his freedom again. It was as he was still reorienting that he recalled the nature of how his imprisonment came about. Those two ungrateful students of his were going to pay for being so inept and not using enough explosives. If a person intended to eliminate his enemies, he had to do the job right. That was what he had taught them for so many years, and now they had disappointed him one more time.

Happosai sighed. A master's work was never done.


	4. The Cute, The Arrogant, and the Perverted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happosai Azusa and Mikado pop up as things progress in the lives of the Ranma cast.

Ranma ½: Presents  
Shampoo ½

Chapter 4  
The Cute, the Arrogant, and the Perverted 

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What’s gone on before: In the beginning, Ranma and Genma traveled to Jusenkyou for the first time and started to spar, not realizing a duel was already occurring between Shampoo and Mousse. One mid-air collision and dunking in spring of young drowned man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. So Ranma-chan= female Shampoo-kun= male. Last chapter Ranma and Ryouga finally had a fight, in which Ryouga mysteriously disappeared, and Cologne confronted Shampoo about her sudden departure from China, only to discover her curse. After the hard fought victory over the Amazon elder, Ranma and company want to celebrate.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now Shampoo truly understood what the Japanese were really like. Not only were they backward enough to give males the dominant role in society, not only did they have a multitude of bizarre cultural habits that made absolutely no sense whatsoever, not only did they possess an unbelievably and unnecessarily difficult language to master, but they quite freely engaged in open displays of masochism and degradation that they misrepresented by terming it as ‘fun’.

At least that was Shampoo’s reaction to participating in what others termed ‘public ice skating.’

“HELP, RANMA!” Shampoo screamed at the top of her lungs. “Shampoo no can stay on feet!” To drive her point home, when she at last gained some sense of balance and moved forward, she went directly from an upright position to performing a flip in mid-air and then managed to land on her face.

“Nice one point landing, Shampoo!” Ranma called from the side of the rink as he finished lacing up his skates.

“I thought she said she could skate,” Akane said. She had finished lacing up her own pair of skates and was now waiting next to Ranma.

Ranma shrugged. “Yeah, she did, but I think she was lying. I bet her dumb Amazon pride wouldn’t let her admit she couldn’t do something simple like that.”

Akane gave Ranma a flat stare. “And you would never let your pride do that to you, would you?”

“You got that right.” Ranma puffed out his chest in pride as another scream of terror came from the Amazon trapped on the ice. “I’d better go out there and show her the ropes before she hurts herself.”

Doubt was evident on Akane’s features. “Are you sure you know how to skate?”

“Of course,” Ranma scoffed as he stood up and prepared to go out on the ice. “Back in junior high, they used to call me ‘Mr. Frosty’.”

The instant Ranma’s skates hit the ice, he fell backwards and cracked his back of his head off the surface of the rink.

A small smile crept across Akane’s features as she skated a single circle around Ranma’s prone form. “I guess you got that name because you ate so much ice.”

“Shut up!” Ranma regained his footing, smirking at Akane. “That was just an accident cause I haven’t done it for a while.” He began to move forward. “Ice skating is just like riding a bike—”

“—Because you never forget how to fall off,” Akane finished for him as Ranma fell facefirst into the ice again. It was going to be up to her to keep the duo from inadvertently bludgeoning themselves into unconsciousness. And she had come down to the rink to unwind too.

“I know now that I am truly alive, for only our chance meeting could stoke the once cold embers of my heart into a raging inferno. Your eyes calls out to me, leaving my heart yearning to taste the sweet ambrosia that your lips would yield unto my unworthy self. A—“

The rest was cut off as a hot pepper was shoved into Mikado’s mouth, arresting his forward momentum as he lunged forward to kiss the girl he was accompanying. The two were seated at a table in front of the rink’s concession stand, previously enjoying a ‘Jalepeno Surprise’ ice cream cone that Mikado had bought for his companion.

“I’m not that sort of girl,” she assured him as his lips began to burn with something other than passion. He grabbed a glass of water from a nearby table and was about to drink it when a pink and red blur ran past, crying out ‘Jean-Luc’, and snatched the container from his hands.

“Give that back to me!” Mikado Sanzenin shouted as he began to lose all feeling from the most important body part of all: his lips. 

His first two attempts at grabbing his partner, Azusa Shiratrori, failed as she deftly darted away from his lunges. “Jean-Luc is mine. You can’t have him. By the way, your lips are really red, swollen and puffy and it makes you look just like a clown.” Azusa began pointing and laughing.

Mikado repressed the urge to punch Azusa in her face. Aside from the fact he was simply not that brutal off the ice, it would make him look really bad in front of the women. “I need that water! It feels like my lips are going to explode. I’ll die without them.” 

The desperation actually got through the nonchalant attitude Azusa usually carried for Mikado and his typical Casanova ways. “The water inside isn’t that cute, so you can have it. But I want the glass back.”

The water was downed in an instant. Relief poured through Mikado as he felt the burning sensation go away and feeling return to his lips. “That was a close call,” he said then began to make his way back to his former target. 

“That’s a bad idea, Miki,” Azusa said in her sing-song voice.

“It’s none of your business what I do off the ice.” Mikado turned back towards the girl that had fed him the pepper. She was pretty enough to try again. Besides, he was getting really close to one thousand. All he needed was two more to go, then it would be on to two thousand.

“Little Azusa don’t think she’s your type,” she warned once more.

Mikado scoffed in her direction. “What do you know of the women I like? She’s perfect. She has luxurious hair. A perfect bosom. Bountiful lips—“ 

“—a really prominent Adam’s apple,” Azusa finished for him.

“Eh?” Mikado took a real close look at the woman’s throat. A wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm him.

“No need to thank me,” Azusa said and headed for the ice. It was not so much that she really cared about Mikado’s lecherous ways —in truth she thought he was little more than a watered down version of a male slut— but if he had made that kind of mistake, it would have thrown off their practice for today. Still, knowing his obsession, he probably still wouldn’t want to begin practice until after he had at least one more kiss added to his tally. 

Akane at last had Shampoo balanced enough on her skates to stand on her own. For someone with such superior balance, the Amazon seemed to have a horrible time trying to adjust to something as simple as ice skating. At the rate both she and Ranma were going, they were never going to learn.

As she thought of Ranma, she turned to see how he was doing. He was still halfway across the rink, refusing to get anywhere near Shampoo and insisting that every time he managed to stay upright more than five seconds, he had learned how to skate and that Akane should go over to aid the Amazon, who ‘really needed the help.’ The distance between the two was making Akane’s task nearly impossible. The only reason she could think for his avoiding learning alongside Shampoo was that he was afraid she might learn more quickly than him, and that he would not be able to stand the idea of coming in second best. He was conceited enough that it was a realistic possibility.

As Akane watched, she saw that Ranma was now on the ice once again, with several four year old children skating rings around him and laughing their heads off. Ranma’s face began turning beet red as he waved his fist at them and warned that he would show them! It was up to Akane to save the day again.

“Are you sure you can stand still?” Akane asked Shampoo.

Unlike Ranma, Shampoo showed a little anxiety at the idea. “Yes. Shampoo can do that.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” She kept her eye on Shampoo for a few moments as she skated backwards towards Ranma. Once convinced Shampoo was going nowhere, Akane turned fully around to give him some assistance before he tried standing up again and hurt himself.

Shampoo stared mournfully in Akane’s direction. She was alone again, and already could feel herself slowly drifting backwards, even though she was trying with all of her will to remain stationary. Regardless of her effort, she began to pick up a speed until she heard someone move behind her moving form and say, “Oh! What a pretty hairpiece! Alain!”

Shampoo felt a tug at her hair. She turned just far enough to see that a small girl in a figure skater’s costume had made off with one of the two jade hairpieces she used to keep her hair tied back into the ponytail she had began to wear due to her curse. And not only had she stolen the thing, but now she seemed to be referring to it as ‘Alain.’

“Give Shampoo back her hairpiece!” she shouted at the little thief. Her attempt to go forward only resulted in her feet coming out from under her, causing her to fall face first into the ice again. 

Shampoo was about to shout again when she saw a tall, dashing boy skate up to the small girl and take the hairpiece roughly from her hands. After saying something the Amazon couldn’t quite make out, he turned to skate towards her with the hairpiece held forward in his hand.

“I must apologize for the rude behavior of my partner.” He bowed, then held the hairpiece out for Shampoo. As she got it, he grasped her hand in a gentle hold. “She has a bad tendency to take things that are not hers and give them some ridiculous French name.” 

Further commentary was temporarily cut off by the small fist that struck the boy in the back of the head. “Give Asuza back her Alain!”

He shrugged off the tiny blows. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Mikado Sanzezin, and the annoying pest is my partner, Asuza Shiratori.”

This time a wooden chair struck the back of his head. “Give Asuza back her Alain!” The chair broke after the third blow.

Mikado grumbled, then shrugged off the blows. He had a duty to perform “At any rate, allow me to offer you a method of repaying me—“

This time it was Shampoo’s turn to interrupt him. “What is the machine that scrape the ice called?”

Mikado looked at her in confusion. “A zamboni.”

“Watch out for zamboni then.” Shampoo shook loose of his hand and began to coast backwards and away from him.

“But they won’t be scraping the ice for another—“

The rest was cut off as Mikado found himself plowed under by an Azusa run zamboni, with shouts of “give Asuza back her Alain!” ringing in his ears.

Across the rink, Ranma stared at the carnage. “Boy those two sure are weird.”

Akane was lost in thought. Those two names sounded familiar to her. Their identities were on the tip of her tongue and she knew she was not going to be able to get a moment’s rest until she remembered who they were.

Akane was still pondering as Mikado pried himself out from under the zamboni and began shouting at Azusa that she was ruining the effect. Asuza’s hurt reply was that she just wanted her Alain back. Deciding that she probably would not launch any more attacks at him, for the time being, he scanned the ice looking for his target once again. He quickly spotted her. Her original backward movement had served to get her out of the way of the incoming zamboni, but now she was backpedaling out of control once again. In a blur of speed he maneuvered behind her, gently bearing her in his arms and preventing her from further injury.

Shampoo breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

Mikado teeth gave off a gleam. “Now about that repayment.”

Before Shampoo could react he bent forward and kissed her full on the lips. For her, there was a moment of shock, and then her mind went blank and she went motionless. After sufficient time had passed that the kiss would be counted as official, he released her, noting that she was now able to remain upright on her own, largely because she was a stiff as a board. No doubt he had stunned her with the shock of having been kissed by someone as magnificent as him. 

Across the ice, two other figures stared at the incident with mute amazement as well. The astonishment lasted only a moment. In an instant Ranma shot across the ice, running on the tips of his skates and taking powerful steps that served to dig the tips of the blades in by at least a couple of inches, giving him the balance he needed to run in a straight line towards his target.

Mikado remained where he was, so worried about his hair being out of place from being run over by the zamboni that he was unaware of his doom approaching until a fist slammed him full in the face and sent his body flying into the wall surrounding the rink. The wall gave way, resulting in the concrete shattering and Mikado’s form being temporarily obscured from everyone’s vision by the rubble he was buried under. Ranma remained where he was, panting and hoping Mikado would get back up so he could smash him back down once again.

Asuza had watched the scene with little in the way of a reaction. Her eyes drifted around until the settled on Shampoo’s still motionless form, and what was laying idly in her hand. Azusa skated over and said “Come on back home, Alain,” as she plucked the hairpiece out of Shampoo’s hand, the Amazon still staring off into space.

At last Mikado pried himself out of the wreckage. He stood up, visibly unaffected by the blow, though he did take the time to brush the dust off his white outfit. After making certain he looked good once again, he turned to Ranma. “That was an impressive blow. What’s your name?”

If Ranma was impressed by the skater’s resilience, he gave no indication of it. “Ranma Saotome.”

Mikado cleared his throat, pausing dramatically before saying. “Well, Ranma, I accept your challenge. And since you are the one challenging I shall pick out the event. Martial Arts Pairs Figure Skating. I assume you are up to it?”

“I’m ready for anything,” Ranma snapped back. “Just name the time and place.” Ranma waited for a moment, watching Mikado intensely. After the arrogant youth said nothing more, Ranma repeated. “I said name the time and place.” Again there was no response.

Asuza, after admiring her new friend and pocketing him, went up to her partner and waved a hand in front of his eyes. There wasn’t even a blink in response.

“Ohh,” she said as she peered closely into his eyes. “He fainted. Must be a delayed reaction from your blow. His pride wouldn’t let him pass out until he challenged you. Little Asuza will set the date since I’m his partner. Five days from now at this arena. Okay?”

“Yeah, Sure.” Ranma felt better at the admittedly unusual nature of Mikado’s loss.

Akane went over and repeated Azusa’s actions on Shampoo, only to receive the same results. Not knowing what else to do, she pushed the rigid Shampoo off the ice, and had Ranma, who had managed to crawl off the ice under his own power, tuck the Amazon under his arm and walk home with her.

Asuza reexamined her partner again. If he was going to be like that, there was no chance of practice today. All that was left to do was make the best out of a bad situation.

“What should we do today? Doodle or play tic-tac-toe?!” Azusa shouted to everyone as she pulled out a set of markers.

“Doodle!”

“Tic-tac-toe!”

“To doodle or tic-tac-toe? It is too hard to decide! We must do both!”

“Good idea,” Azusa said, grateful for the man with the bokken’s help

“You didn’t have to hit him that hard, you know,” Akane said. Upon returning to the Tendou home, Akane and Ranma had gone up to her bedroom, depositing the only just starting to recover Shampoo in the kitchen. Kasumi said she would watch over her, leaving the two of them to talk about what had just happened.

“I hate guys like that,” Ranma growled in response. “They think they can just go around and smile and all the girls will fall at their feet.”

“You’re overreacting again,” Akane said.

Ranma’s eyebrow arched at that. “And what if he had kissed you?”

In a flash a hammer slammed into her dresser, breaking it in half. Akane turned back to Ranma, pointing the large wooden mallet in his direction. “And that would be just for starters.”

“Ah, right.” Ranma made a mental note never to get between Akane and somebody that tried to kiss her. “Anyway, I think Shampoo would have done the same thing, except she didn’t see it coming until it was too late.”

“I don’t think it bothered her that much,” Akane shrugged as she tossed the mallet aside. “You don’t hear her crying about it do you?”

A shout of “SHAMPOO GIVE PRETTY BOY KISS OF DEATH!” resounded throughout the house. 

“Or maybe not,” Akane conceded.

Kasumi watched in concern as Shampoo continued to sharpen the rather wicked-looking scimitar she had brought out from her room. Her hand was a blur as the whetstone moved up and down the length, going out fast enough to cause sparks to fly. 

“Are you sure a Kiss of Death is a good idea?” Kasumi asked hesitantly. 

Shampoo paused a moment to check her blade. She shook her head and continued to sharpen it some more. “Pretty Boy kiss Shampoo! Even Mousse no try to kiss Shampoo! Was annoying all the time, but never try to kiss.” She paused again in her cutting, the anger on her face giving way slightly to depression. Her voice was quieter as she said, “Was Shampoo’s first kiss. Shampoo wanted first kiss be special. Wanted it to be with someone Shampoo love. Now it can never be.” Upon that pronouncement, her voice carried its homicidal edge again. “Shampoo kill Pretty Boy, then kill… She paused a moment to bring out a Japanese dictionary. “Then kill Kleptomaniacal girl too.”

Akane and Ranma entered the room, Nabiki hot on their heels. Ranma sat down in a chair next to Shampoo and spoke first. “I can see why you’d want to kill Mikado, but why do you wanna kill Asuza too?”

Shampoo referred to the dictionary again. “Kleptomaniacal Girl steal hairpiece. There have to be a better word than that. Maybe Shampoo should just use Cute Thief Girl, or something.”

“How about you just call her Azusa?” Akane offered dryly.

“I’m actually kind of partial to Kleptomaniacal Girl myself,” Nabiki said. “Anyway, why is your hairpiece so important? You can get a new one. Or is it valuable?” There was a calculating gleam in Nabiki’s eye as she paid close attention to the answer.

Shampoo removed the remaining hairpiece, allowing her hair to cascade down her back in a wave. She held it out for all to see. “It valuable. It made of jade and emerald, but that not matter. It has been in family for many generations. That what make it priceless. Is one of last things Shampoo have of family, besides bonbori and sword.” She used the hairpiece to tie her hair back once again. 

“Don’t worry,” Ranma said as he shook his fist. “We’ll get it back and get revenge on Mikado the Molester. We got a match coming up with them and there’s no way we can lose it. Anything with martial arts in it we can win.”

“It also has figure skating in it which you can’t win at,” Akane pointed out.

“Oh, yeah.” Ranma began scratching his head in concentration. There was that little problem with his plan. Besides that it was sound, though.

“There’s something that might tip the odds in your favor,” Nabiki said. “I happen to have come across some information on those two.”

Eagerness was in Ranma’s voice as Shampoo began listening in as well. “Let’s hear it.”

“It’s valuable information.”

“Umm,” Ranma murmured uncertainly. “All right, tell us.”

Nabiki shook her head. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me. It’s valuable information.”

The explanation, along with her open hand, now made sense to Ranma. “All right. How much?” he sighed as he began going through his pockets, then held out his hand to Shampoo in order to get her to cough up what money she had managed to get her hands on.

Once they met Nabiki’s price, she began. “They are the Golden Pair of Martial Arts Figure Skating.”

Akane snapped her fingers. “I knew I heard those names before. Thanks, Nabiki. It was driving me nuts trying to remember where I heard those names before.”

“Couldn’t you have remembered before I paid?” Ranma complained as Kasumi passed around some tea for everyone to drink.

“Do you know anything else about them?” Nabiki asked Akane, happy to let her do all the explaining. It was not as though Akane would see a cent of the money anyway, no matter how much information she provided.

Akane thought about that for a minute. “All I know is that they’re supposed to be the best.”

“My information is more precise,” Nabiki bragged as she took over. “As a team they are unbeaten. They have a reputation for breaking up couples. Mikado is arrogant and has an eye for the ladies, as well as some kind of kissing fetish. Asuza is flighty, and has an eye for any cute object she comes across. Also, she’s supposed to be a grandmaster of chess that has never lost a game, not counting the times she’s been disqualified for stealing her opponents’ chesspieces. See, Ranma. You didn’t waste your money,” Nabiki said, very satisfied with herself.

Ranma admitted that Nabiki’s information was helpful. “Right. Now let’s come up with a plan.”

“Shampoo think we not bother trying to use the chess angle,” the Amazon supplied.

“Agreed,” Ranma said as he continued thinking. “I think we can use a little sharpening up on our skating skills.”

Akane choked on the tea she was drinking. After coughing some up, she spluttered out. “A little? You can’t even stand on your own.”

“Yes I can,” Ranma protested.

“Okay, you can’t stand on your own for longer than twenty seconds,” Akane corrected.

“That’s better,” Ranma said, then sighed. “We only got five days to learn to skate good enough to beat those two.”

“Maybe we should improve on the martial art part of fight,” Shampoo said. “Shampoo know this move grandmother show but never teach. But Shampoo think if she tries real hard, she can teach both herself and Ranma how to do it.”

“Sounds good. We can use any edge we can get our hands on,” Ranma said. 

Shampoo beamed happily at that. “Okay, first we need chestnuts and an open fire.”

“How about Jack Frost nipping at your toes?” Nabiki asked with a sly grin.

Shampoo shook her head. “Only need that for ultra-dangerous ‘Avalanche of the White Comet’ technique. Is very, very dangerous. It only supposed to be used on Yetis, magic snow men, and killer Christmas trees.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Nabiki said.

“Hey,” Ranma said. “I think I remember Pop mentioning that move to me once. Doesn’t it involve tying yourself to a huge snowball and plummeting from the top of a snow covered mountain?”

“Yes,” Shampoo said.

“Don’t mention you know it to Pop, okay? He has enough stupid ideas for stupid techniques as it is.”

Shampoo nodded her head in agreement and went to round up the materials needed to learn the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken.

It was two days later that Ranma mastered the technique and three days for Shampoo to learn it. In between practicing, they would go to the rink and take skating lessons from Akane. Neither one complained much about falling down, as the ice served to ease the pain from the burns they received learning the Amaguriken. While the duo also learned the technique, Akane put what she had discovered about the Golden Pair to good use and came up with a plan that might tip the odds in Ranma and Shampoo’s advantage. When she ran it past them, they agreed to it.

Two days later found the day of the match upon them. Much to their surprise, the rink was filled to the rafters with fans, most of them cheering on the Golden Pair, though there was a small percentage that cheered for Ranma and Shampoo. That in particular irked Ranma. The dumb people were underestimating him. He never lost a fight, not an important one, anyway.

“This is the big moment. We’re going to show these guys how it’s done. We’ll kick their butts across the ice,” Ranma boasted as he waved to Akane and Nabiki, who were next to the rink wall. Ranma then looked across the rink towards his opponents, who were in outfits similar to the ones that they had worn during their first encounter. Azusa was in another one of her frilly pink numbers while Mikado was in a nice-looking, if non-discrept, white tailored suit. Ranma smirked at that too. “And our outfits are way better too.”

Shampoo had to agree with Ranma’s statement. Kasumi had gone out of her way to sew the duo a pair of matching skating outfits for the competition. They were a matching purple and black number. Ranma’s consisted of a purple top with black pants, while Shampoo’s was of the same color, skin-tight and with black stripes along the sides. The left arm and leg were cut out, and Shampoo had noticed several of the boys in the crowd stare at her as she made her way out onto the ice. 

Besides the perfect fit, there was an addition that made the combination truly stand out. Kasumi had woven an intricate golden dragon, its sinewy form starting on Ranma’s right sleeve and winding its way up and down then across his chest, then continuing on to the end of his left sleeve where the incomplete design ended abruptly. The design picked up on Shampoo’s right arm, flowing up that then wrapping itself suggestively around certain portions of her anatomy (which Shampoo had suggested once she saw what Kasumi was doing) and eventually traveling down the right leg of her outfit, where the end of the tail finished the design. When the two held hands, as they were at that moment, the design was complete, forming one long, perfect, dragon. Shampoo felt very comforted in holding Ranma’s hand. It helped a lot in keeping her from falling over.

Across the ice, Mikado examined the pair closely and determined that they had no chance whatsoever of even giving him a hard time. It was only a matter of how long to string the fight along, so that the crowd would not go home disappointed. He did have a horde of fans to appease.

Sending a disdainful look their way, Mikado said loud enough for Ranma and Shampoo to hear, “Well, this is a complete waste of time. Let’s get this over with. I still have another woman’s lips to touch to make one thousand.”

Shampoo tightened her grip at the mention of Mikado’s kissing. The stinking pig was rubbing her face in that disgrace. She would make him pay, oh yes. Too bad she could not serve him the injury he truly deserved, but Ranma had made it clear she was not allowed to use her newly improvised Martial Arts Skating Final Attack: Castration Kick. And the skates made it so easy to employ too. However, the one time she explained to Ranma what it was, and how it worked, he crossed his legs and made her swear never to try that on another human being. He claimed even Mikado didn’t deserve it.

“Hand…Shampoo.”

Shampoo turned to see that Ranma was down on his knees in pain. It took a moment for her to realize that it was because that when Mikado had shot his mouth off, her grip on Ranma’s hand had inadvertently tightened a bit too much. She immediately loosened the hold and apologized.

Ranma shook his hand a couple of times to get the blood flowing once again, then clutched Shampoo's hand once more. Together they lurched forward and skated awkwardly towards their opponents. 

Azusa shook her head sadly as they increased the speed of their wobbling. “Miki, this isn’t going to help our reputation. Everyone will think we’re picking on helpless opponents because we’re going soft.”

“We’ll beat up a hockey team as a bonus after the match. How does that sound?” Mikado said as he saw that Ranma had somehow managed to hoist Shampoo over his head in what appeared to be an effort to throw the purple-haired girl at them.

“Let’s go with our opening volley.” Blindingly fast, Mikado whipped Asuza around in a circle and hurled her at Ranma. The appearance of the human missile directed at him caused him to throw Shampoo in the air.

At the top of her impromptu arc, Shampoo looked down and a plan immediately formed in her mind. “Catch Shampoo, Pretty Boy!”

Mikado knew what that plea meant: yet another woman was now bound to him because of his seductive charms. Now she would be like so many of the others, infatuated with a man she could never have. Mikado considered it a tragedy, or at least he would have if he had possessed anything remotely like a conscience.

He maneuvered under where she would land and caught her, gently cradling her in his arms, as though carrying a bride over a threshold on her honeymoon. “So you couldn’t rest until you tasted my lips again, is that it?”

Shampoo shook her head. “No. Shampoo just want you to hold her so she not have to worry about standing up when she hit you.”

Before he could react, she struck him in the face with her right arm, using a combination of a palm thrust, a fist, and an elbow that took less than two seconds to deliver. Deciding to use some variation in her attacks, she switched to the left and hit him with the same moves, but in a different order. She was preparing to use the first combination again, maybe throwing a chop for good measure, when Mikado’s grasp on her loosened and she fell to the ice. It was not an aggressive move on his part; he was simply too stunned to carry her any more. His dizzied form kept going, coasting on momentum. 

At the center of the ice, the battle was faring differently as Asuza skated in circles, backwards, and mocked Ranma. That served to make him all the angrier as he tried to catch up to her, failing miserably as he kept falling on the ice and she would taunt him some more. Azusa was planning on what to do next when she noticed her partner coast by, the stunned expression still on his face. Concerned, she idly knocked Ranma off his skates, then went to Mikado’s side.

“Ohhh, Miki,” Azusa swooned. “Your face looks all messed up. Your eyes are misshapen.” She grabbed the skin beside his eyes and pulled it a good four inches away from his face. It was just as she thought; he looked terrible. “And your nose looks crooked.” She released the hold on his face, only to bend his nose at a ninety degree angle. Again it made his injury show up more clearly. “And it looks like she knocked out three teeth.” Azusa planted her hands on his upper and lower lips and pried open his jaws about a foot apart so she could show everyone.

The pain from his partner’s examination shook Mikado out of his stupor. He pulled away from Azusa’s prying hands. “What are you doing, you little wench?! If my face is hurt, why are you poking and prodding at it?”

Tears began to form in her eyes. “Little Asuza just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

Mikado turned from his crying partner and looked upon his opponents with new admiration. “They’re trickier than I thought. Let’s use the Couple Cleaver.”

By the time Azusa calmed down enough to help initiate the move, Ranma and Shampoo had regrouped and were holding each other's hands, helping one another to stay upright. Oddly, it seemed to Mikado that the duo were a little more confident than before, and skating noticeably better. It was a false confidence since they still stood no chance of winning.

Now that Azusa focus was back on winning, the Golden Pair went into action. Whatever plan Ranma and Shampoo had come up with was ruined as Azusa did a baseball slide and knocked both Ranma and Shampoo down. Azusa noted with delight that they had maintained their grip onto one another. As they were prone on the ice, Azusa latched onto Ranma’s ankles while Mikado, straining with all of his might, grabbed onto Azusa’s own ankles and hefted her onto his shoulders. He began spinning around, Azusa maintaining her grip and spinning Ranma and Shampoo around in a circle.

Mikado smiled to himself in satisfaction. No duo ever survived the couple cleaver. And the Saotome fellow came across as the unreliable type to begin with. It was all too easy. He shouted to Ranma. “If you let go of Shampoo, I’ll put you down gently.”

Despite being spun around, Shampoo heard the words and shouted: “Go ahead and let Shampoo go. Shampoo be fine.”

“Hah!” Ranma shouted back through gritted teeth, becoming dizzier by the second. “We already went over this. I ain’t gonna leave you just cause things get tough.”

“Okay. Shampoo hold on.” The Amazon tightened her grip and held on for dear life. She felt she had to make the offer to Ranma since he could end up suffering for her benefit, but now that he had made his choice, she was going to hold on. Besides, she had no real desire to crash into the wall. At the speed she was going it would hurt like hell.

The spin continued for another thirty seconds, the velocity steadily increasing. At the end of that thirty seconds, Azusa had an announcement to make.

“Little Asuza doesn’t feel too good.”

Mikado continued spinning. “I told you not to eat that burrito with the works and gut-buster parfait before the match.”

At the implication of that, Asuza released Ranma’s ankles and put her hands on her hips. “How dare you accuse Asuza of eating Renee and Pierre!”

Sailing through the air, Ranma and Shampoo discovered they had the misfortune of being aimed directly for one of the cement walls surrounding the rink. Sensing he only had seconds remaining, Ranma grabbed onto Shampoo and pulled her close to him. As the duo arrived at the wall, Ranma nobly took the brunt of the impact. The force of the collision caused the wall they struck to crack, producing a cobweb-like effect on the cement wall. A moment later, they slumped from the wall to the ice below. 

The announcer’s voice shouted, “Well, it looks like the Golden Pair’s Infamous Couple Cleaver not only failed to work, but it actually backfired!”

The crowd looked closer to see what he meant. Akane who had at first been concerned for Ranma’s safety after hitting the wall, now saw what the announcer meant. “Ranma, you pervert! Get your face out of Shampoo’s cleavage!”

Due to her disorientation from being spun around in a circle for close to a minute, it took Shampoo slightly longer to figure out exactly what everyone was talking about. Once she did, her first impulse was to get angry at Ranma’s forwardness. A moment later, the understanding that he had sacrificed himself for her, made her reconsider her anger. Realizing that Ranma was not doing anything to extract himself from the situation, she took matters into her own hands and tried to remove his face from between her breasts. It took a moment of prying, but eventually he was freed with a loud ‘pop’.

Ranma’s eyes rolled around in their sockets for a few moments before they stopped and allowed himself to be reoriented to the world. “Whoa. What happened? First I remember hitting something really hard, then everything was warm, dark, and soft.”

“Is you okay, Ranma?” Shampoo asked.

“Yeah, except for one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Could you get off me?”

Shampoo gave an, “Oh,” as she realized that after prying Ranma out of her cleavage, she had remained straddled on top of him as he came around. She did feel a little put off that he didn’t even seem to be aware of the free grope he had gotten.

As the lavender-haired girl got off of him allowing Ranma to stand up, he said, “Y’know. You’re a lot heavier than you look.”

A fist met his face, which caused him to collapse to the ground. After a moment of writhing in pain, a delayed effect from the initial impact that had been speeded up by Shampoo, he snapped, “What was that for?!”

“Ranma call Shampoo fat!”

“I did not, I just said you’re heavier than you looked.”

That earned him a second blow.

“Ranma do it again!”

Ranma rubbed the back of his head. “I did not! If I were calling you fat, I would have said you look just as heavy as you feel.”

Shampoo held off striking him again and gave that a bit of thought. It still sounded like he was calling her fat, but the way he explained it seemed to make sense. Still, her feminine instincts called out for her to hit him again for making comments about her weight in general. It took her a moment to suppress them before restarting the match.

“It looked close there for a second,” Mikado commented to Azusa.

“Yes. It looks like we’ll have to try something else. Inverted Circle Spin?”

“Why not?” Mikado and Azusa held hands and began to approach Ranma and Shampoo. Once they closed half the distance, the turned to face each other and began spinning themselves in a circular motion while getting closer to their opponents. The idea was that since they were spinning each other in a circle, the opposition would not know which one was going to attack until it was too late.

Ranma had other plans. The Golden Pair had at last skated past Akane’s position next to the rink wall. It was time to spring the surprise on The Golden Pair and see if it would work. Ranma nodded towards Akane, who nodded in return and brought their secret weapon into play.

“Hey, Asuza! Look!” Akane opened up the bag and dumped over a hundred brightly colored marbles onto the ice.

The instant her eyes fell upon the orbs, Asuza was in Heaven. “Oh! They’re so pretty.” Without a second thought she released Mikado in mid-spin, leaving him to skate at a high speed towards Ranma and Shampoo, backwards. 

“You idiot! We’re in the middle of a match!” Mikado shouted, momentarily forgetting his positioning. He was reminded of it when Ranma and Shampoo linked hands and skated towards him, connecting with a double clothesline to the back of his head and knocking him down onto the ice.

Mikado returned to his feet as quickly as he could, only to see that Ranma and Shampoo were a short distance away from him on opposite sides and on their knees, although they did not appear to be begging for mercy. Affording a glance towards his partner, Mikado saw that Azusa was too busy naming her new friends to be of any further use to him. He returned his attention towards his opponents. “Very well. I will dispose of you by myself.”

Ranma and Shampoo looked at one another, then nodded their heads in unspoken communication. They simultaneously raised their right fists, then brought them down, shouting out, KACHU-TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!”

Their fists connected with the ice, shattering it after several hundred blows in less than a second. As they continued to hammer into the ice, pulling themselves along the ice with their free hands in a clockwise motion, the damaged sections they left behind revealed the ice had been cracked all the way down to the water level. Mikado watched in confusion at their bizarre actions, which seemed to do nothing but waste energy and pointlessly destroy the rink. 

Upon each one finishing their semi-circle, they came to a stop and sneered at Mikado, who could not understand their happiness. Mikado just managed to get out, “What did that gain you?” when he moved forward and answered his own question. It took him only a moment to discover the circle of ice he was on was no longer attached to the rest of the rink. Even the slightest shift in his weight distribution caused the flow to tip one way or the other, moving back and forth in the water. What was worse for him was that in spite of his magnificent balance on any icy surface, he would get sea-sick almost the instant he stepped foot on a boat. And to make matters worse, Ranma and Shampoo were now having fun taking turns pushing on the circle of ice, making it nearly impossible for Mikado to stay upright.

The torment was short-lived as a voice from above shouted out, “Ranma, prepare to die!”

Ranma looked high above and saw that Ryouga was standing on one of the metal rafters above the rink. “Hey! All right! Ryouga’s still alive!”

Ryouga looked down on the ice at Ranma. Wandering around, he had distinctly overheard the words, ‘Ranma,’ ‘Saotome,’ and ‘challenge match with the Golden Pair’, when he had stumbled upon the rink. Of course, had Ryouga heard the missing words the sentence contained, it would have come out, “That Ranma guy who’s Shampoo’s brother and Shampoo Saotome, yes that’s their names and no I’m not confused, are in a challenge match with the Golden Pair.” Ryouga would still have investigated due to such similarly named people being in the area, but would have been less angry about it. Instead, he was in a proper rage at nearly being eaten by a shark in a situation that was all Ranma’s fault. 

Ryouga elected to jump down and get closer to Ranma, intent on giving him the beating he deserved. He plummeted from the rafters and landed solidly on the edge of the loose ice. The force of his weight hitting the ice caused him to flip the circle over and plunged him instantly beneath the water. The force of the blow also flipped Mikado into the air, across the rink and into a wall. The force of the impact was so great that it left his head fully embedded in the concrete wall and very unconscious.

The announcer viewed the scene of carnage. Mikado was out of it and Azusa was too distracted to continue the contest. “The winners of the match are Ranma and Shampoo!”

Shampoo took a moment to skate over to Azusa and pluck her hairpiece from out of Asuza’s hair. Given the amount of new friends Azusa was busily naming, she never noticed that Alain was gone.

Ranma was more concerned about other things. He continued looking down the hole that Ryouga and plunged into, concerned that the lost boy had not surfaced yet. “I bet he can’t swim. I had better go in and rescue—“

“Nooooo!” Nabiki shouted as she ran across the ice toward Ranma. “I’ll do it!” And without another word Nabiki jumped into the water, fully clothed.

Akane walked over to Ranma’s side. He looked to her and said, “Y’know. I never pictured Nabiki going out of her way to help a total stranger like that, at least without charging for it first. I’m kind of surprised.”

“Actually, she was worried what would happen if you got wet. Once your identity’s blown, it would only be a matter of time before people at school put the ‘Shampoo Saotome equals Ranma Saotome’ equation together at school, and then every girl would kill my sister.”

“Oh. Now that makes sense.”

As Ranma and Akane continued talking, and Shampoo examined her hairpiece to make sure Azusa had done nothing to it, a wet bat made its way out of the hole in the ice. It slipped away while everyone was distracted, and took off.

A moment after it had left, Nabiki surfaced, wiping the water from out of her hair as she accepted Akane’s help in getting her out. “He’s not down there.”

Ranma stood off to the side, careful that Nabiki did not accidentally splash him. “I wouldn’t worry about it. He has some kind of water disappearing trick. I wonder if…nahh.” He waved off the Jusenkyou idea. It would be too much of a coincidence for Ryouga to end up there too. Realizing the match was over, and that he had won, Ranma gave a tired sigh and decided to head back to the locker room.

Soun looked towards the sky and the clouds above. Truly it was a great day to be alive. The birds were singing. Squirrels ran around and gathered nuts. Genma was moving five of Soun’s pieces on the Shogi board while he thought Soun was not looking. Yes, it was truly a great day to be alive.

“Kasumi went shopping, eh?” Genma asked.

“Yes. We have the house to ourselves,” Soun said.

Genma’s stomach grumbled in response. Truly it was a miserable day.

“This time of the year is beautiful. Wouldn’t you agree Saotome?”

Genma sighed and decided to go with the mood his friend was trying to make. “Indeed. The leaves come out of their hibernation and give everything a green glow.”

“The temperature is just right. Neither too hot nor too cold.”

“The birds sing.”

“The noise of children playing outdoors makes you feel young.”

“The smell of panties in the air is especially noticeable. It makes you feel great to be alive.”

Soun turned to look at Genma in confusion. “I say, Saotome. That’s exactly the sort of thing the Master would have said.”

Genma returned the confused look. “I thought you said that, Tendou.”

The thought struck them at the exact same time. Almost against their will their eyes slowly turned to look down at the shogi table between them.

Happosai gave them a knowing wink.

Several miles away, three people turned to the sound of two anguished screams that made everyone wonder if that was what having one’s soul torn apart sounded like.

“That sounded pretty gruesome,” Ranma said

“You know, that almost sounded like it came from the direction of our house,” Akane commented as she continued staring at where she thought the shout had come from.

“I’m going to a friend’s house,” Nabiki said as she separated herself from the others. It sounded way too much like it had come from the direction of her house for her liking. It would be far better to allow the others to deal with the situation, then to show up afterwards when it would be at least relatively safer.

Alone now, Ranma and Akane continued on their way home, walking side-by-side in silence. Eventually, Ranma said, “Nice idea you had about those marbles.”

“Thanks.” Akane inexplicably found herself blushing slightly at the compliment. “Once Shampoo gets back from grabbing a quick shower at the rink, we ought to go out and celebrate.”

“The last time we celebrated a victory, we went ice skating, remember?” Ranma pointed out, suddenly not in the mood for going out and having a good time. 

“I wasn’t saying we should do that again.” Akane tried coming up with something else they could do. 

Ranma was about to suggest they just stay home when he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye. He ducked just in time to avoid the water pail lady’s toss of water in his direction. 

“Nyaa, nyaa. You missed me that time,” Ranma taunted, then turned to Akane. “Heh. That was a close…” Words suddenly failed him as he turned to see a very wet, and very angry looking Akane, scowling at him.

“You didn’t have to splash me with water too!” Ranma-chan complained as she wrung more water out of her shirt tail. It seemed she had absorbed half the Pacific Ocean in it.

“You didn’t have to duck so I could get hit with it either, but that didn’t stop you!” Akane snapped back as the two walked up to the door of the Tendou house and entered.

“It’s not like I meant for you to get hit. It was one of those things that just hap—“ Ranma-chan looked down to see that something was glomped onto her chest, right between her breasts and moving its shiny top up and down while between them. “AHHHHHH! WHAT IS THIS THING!”

Akane reacted more quickly as she smashed the creature into the floor with a hard right. “Just what is going on here?!” 

Happosai hopped up as though nothing had happened. He got a good look at the two girls and his eyes lit up. “Ha cha! You two are babes! For your information, I am your new master, Ranma. Time to start the training.”

In a flash he took up a position between Akane’s breasts. This time Ranma-chan reacted by smashing him off and into the floor. 

“I’m Ranma, you little old pervert. How the hell could you get us mixed up? I’m much better looking than her.” Ranma-chan missed the daggers Akane glared at him as she continued. “Now, what is this about a new master, you old goat?”

Tears flooded Happosai’s eyes. “How can you treat your new master so cruelly? How can you deny an old man his few wants? I may not have much time left, and I must devote myself to what few pleasures are left in life.”

He tried to glomp onto Ranma-chan again, but twin punches from both Akane and the redhead caught him squarely in the jaw and made him part of the wall instead of the floor this time. 

Located directly outside the room, Genma and Soun heard the temporary lull in the action. Coming to a mutual decision, they dared to peek into the room.

Upon taking in the scene of carnage, Genma nodded in satisfaction at Ranma’s handiwork. It was time to tell him the truth, or at least as much as Genma felt like telling him. Clearing his throat, he began. “Boy, I have something to tell you. A tale more horrifying than you could possibly imagine.”

Ranma-chan’s eyes widened in surprise. “You mean really ARE my father?”

Waving his finger at Ranma, Genma said, “This is no time or jokes, boy. That pervert you see before you—“

A blow to the back of Genma’s head was followed by a glare from Happosai. Despite his temporary discomfort, he was in no mood for back talk from his old students. “Try that again.”

Genma’s voice remained serious. “That delightfully upstanding senior citizen you see before you is our master, Happosai.” 

Ranma-chan looked the leering little troll over. Somehow, her father had seemed to forget mentioning that creature had been his master at some point in his life. “Yeah, I can see where you might not have wanted to admit that sort of thing to anyone. Still, why didn’t you tell me before, Pop?”

Genma shook his head sadly. All those years and still the boy thought too linearly. “Haven’t you ever heard that if you say a demon’s name he will come? Well the same thing applies to this creature.”

That earned Genma a hard shot from Happosai, sending him clean into the wall. “Watch your tongue. If you were still my pupil, you’d be in for a lot worse.”

“Dropping the old man from your studies, huh?” Ranma-chan said. “I don’t blame you. Over the last few years he’s slowed down a lot and gotten lazier. I don’t think there’s much more you could teach him.”

“I agree wholeheartedly.” Happosai lit his pipe and blew a few smoke rings in the air. “That’s why I worked out a deal with both of my former pupils. I’ll be training you from now on.” 

“Well that sounds…WHAT?!” Ranma-chan shouted. She took one look at her new ‘master,’ then shot an angry glare towards her father and Soun. 

“It was necessary, boy,” Genma pleaded from his position in the wall. “I’m not a young man anymore. I couldn’t possibly withstand the rigors of training. Besides, the master can teach you all sorts of new techniques. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Genma tried his best to unleash puppy dog eyes in the midst of his groveling.

“And it’s not like we could give him Akane,” Soun said, tears welling up at the very idea of sacrificing his youngest daughter to the master.

“I never agreed to any of this,” Ranma-chan grumbled. “That little pervert ain’t my master.”

Soun decided not to press the issue. “We can discuss the exact details at a later time. At any rate, the Master will be staying with us for a while.”

“I’m staying for good.” Happosai brought his hands together and rubbed them in anticipation. “How could I leave two lovely young ladies like this?” And with that he leaped up into the air and glomped right back on to Ranma-chan’s chest, who promptly smacked him back into the wall again.

That was the breaking point for the redhead. “Look here, you old goat. I got something to show you.” 

As Happosai pulled himself out of the wall again, looking none the worse for wear, Ranma-chan walked into the kitchen and grabbed the nearest heating kettle. Walking back into the hallway, she poured the hot water over her. Ranma winced a little at the heat. “Now do you see? I ain’t no girl.”

Happosai looked Ranma over for a second, then placed his hand to his chin in thought. After several moments of this, he pointed to Ranma and said, “Jusenkyou.”

Ranma nodded in satisfaction. Now there was no need to repeat the tale of the curse yet again. “You see, I am really a guy, so don’t try anythinWAH!” Ranma found himself the recipient of a well-tossed glass of cold water, courtesy of Happosai.

“Woo hoo! That’s more like it baby!” He glomped onto his favorite nesting spot once again. “Stay like this from now on. As your new master, I demand it.”

“But I’m a guy,” Ranma-chan protested as she desperately tried to pry the diminutive pest off. The situation was becoming more than she could take, especially with having to deal with the Golden Pair earlier in the day. When was she ever going to get a break?

“You have no right to keep this beautiful form locked up,” Happosai said from his perch. “As a matter of fact, I demand you wear this.” He pulled out a lacy red bra he had liberated on the way over to visit his two former pupils. 

Ranma-chan did what came naturally and recoiled in disgust. “No way! I’m a guy I tell you! Guys don’t wear stuff like that!”

Akane watched on, at last having enough of the chaos. Poor Ranma-chan was being repeatedly molested by the pervert, and since the redhead seemed unable to get rid of the old man for good, and neither of the fathers seemed willing to help, it fell to Akane to help save her fiancé. She grabbed Happosai by the back of his red gi and scowled at him. 

“No need to feel left out, sweetie,” Happosai cooed. “There’s plenty for you too.” 

This time Akane was prepared for the attempted glomp and punched Happosai hard before he had a chance to connect. Having planned something out beforehand, she was careful to aim him for a nearby window. The force of the blow sent him high into the sky and very far away.

Soun watched his daughter’s handiwork. Once convinced his old master was not coming back immediately, he dared to say, “Even that won’t hold the evil demon at bay for long.”

“We’ve gotta’ get rid of him for good,” Ranma-chan gasped. No one fondled her chest like that and got away with it. Nobody.

At last, Genma left his relatively safe position from within the wall and went up to his son. “Boy, I will be your servant for a week if you can figure out how to get rid of him for good.”

“Deal.” That brought a grin to Ranma-chan’s face. It wasn’t often she got a chance to have her father at her mercy like this. “I’ll get rid of that old goat if it’s the last thing I do.”

Genma shook his head sadly at his offspring’s naiveté, “It’s not that easy. Tendou and I tried tying him to a barrel full of explosives and sealing him in a cave. All that did was keep him out of the way for a few years.”

“I told you we should have used more explosives!” Soun wailed, the full repercussions of Happosai’s return only now truly setting in.

“I’ll think of something,” Ranma-chan said as the sound of “Sweeto! Did you miss me?” announced Happosai’s quick return.

Shampoo finished walking back to the Tendou home. She felt like thanking the gods above for not somehow splashing her with cold water on the way back. There had been several girls she had recognized as students on the path home, and almost always in the past, cold water would strike her and the girls would suddenly see Shampoo’s cursed form and go ga-ga over him. But not this time. It had been a peaceful walk home, and the Amazon wondered if perhaps she had used up her day’s quota of chaos in her fight with the Golden Pair.

“Shampoo is home,” she announced upon entering the house. She noticed Ranma and Akane sitting in the living room, huddled over a table and talking quietly with one another. Shampoo waved to them before heading for her room for a change of clothes and a chance to relax.

Akane finished waving and continued where she had left off. “I don’t think that plan is going to work. Besides, where are we going to find a Youma outfit that would fit him?”

“Well it sounded like a good idea to me,” Ranma grumbled. What was wrong with dressing the little pervert up like a Youma and having the Sailor Senshi destroy him? It sounded like a good plan with a better than average chance of success.

Akane was about to cite another reason as to why it was a poor idea when something else occurred to her. “Shampoo doesn’t know about Happosai yet!”

“AHHHHHHH!”

“She does now,” Ranma said as a screaming Shampoo ran into the room with a pervert attached to her bosom.

“Over here! I know how to get rid of him!” Akane shouted at the panicking Amazon. 

Shampoo heard and ran in Akane’s direction. The instant she was close enough, Akane threw a glass of cold water. Her aim was true as Shampoo got hit squarely in the face with the water.

The power and delight Happosai had been receiving from his tight grasp gave way to a decided lack of either. He shifted his grip slightly, and realized something was terribly wrong with the woman he had been groping. “Wh…what is this? What happened to you?” he asked as he looked Shampoo-kun in the eyes. 

“Shampoo decide she no want disgusting creature on chest.” He nailed the still surprised Happosai with one good blow between the eyes. The impact sent him into the floor hard enough to breaking several of the floorboards.

Happosai picked himself up, depressed over what he had his new discovery. “You poor, poor creature. You fell into Jusenkyou too, didn’t you?”

Shampoo-kun nodded his head.

Ranma said, “That just means she has a defense against you, you old pervert.” Sick and tired of Happosai’s actions yet again, he took a swing at the old man.

Unlike when Ranma was a girl, Happosai managed to evade the blow as though Ranma was nothing more than a child. He then pulled out his pipe and burned Ranma’s hand with it. “See here. Like I told your father before, that’s no way to talk to your master. It’s about time you were taught a little respect for your elders.”

“Ah, shut up!” Ranma took another swing at Happosai. This time he blocked with the pipe rather than going through the hassle of moving.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Happosai connected with a solid punch that sent Ranma through the ceiling and into the wild blue yonder.

It took Ranma nearly a half of an hour of solid running, but he did manage to make it back to the Tendou home. He rushed through the front door and into the house, fists balled up and ready for the next round. Upon seeing Akane and Shampoo-kun sitting in the living room, he said only one word.

“Pervert?”

Akane pointed upstairs and both she and Shampoo-kun watched as Ranma ran up there at a full run, screaming about lucky punches and how he was going to give Happosai the beating he deserved. There was a loud crash, followed by silence. Ten minutes later, Ranma came through the front door, gave a brief wave to the girl and boy, and ran upstairs again, loudly proclaiming that, “the third time’s the charm.”

Another loud crash, and silenced reigned once more.

“How long you think this time, Akane?” Shampoo-kun asked. 

“I’d say about seven minutes,” she answered.

“Shampoo think ten again.”

Five minutes later, Ranma barged through the front door yet again and rushed upstairs, not even bothering to acknowledge the duo in the living room.

“Akane win. Was much closer.”

A crash sounded. A minute later, a gasping and wheezing Ranma made his way through the door and began heading upstairs.

Akane sighed. “Ranma, you don’t have to do this.”

Taking a moment to catch his breath, he said. “I’m getting to him. He keeps punching me less far away with each blow.”

“Didn’t it occur to you maybe he enjoys beating on you and doesn’t want to wait as long between shots?” Akane suggested.

That made Ranma stop and think about it. He supposed there was an outside chance she was right, and the direct approach was not working at all. Perhaps there was something else he could try. 

The crawlspace above the room Happosai was temporarily using had an occupant in it. Ranma Saotome applauded himself on his ingenuity. If a frontal assault was failing, then try the back door, or at least that was what his father had always said. Using his ring finger, he poked a tiny hole in the ceiling tile. It was just large enough to afford him a complete view of the room.

His eye looked the room over several times, but there was no Happosai. And Ranma had been sure he had been in there before he had gone up into the crawlspace. There had been no screams of terror, meaning it was unlikely Happosai had left the room. As he relaxed for a moment with his visual observation, he stopped concentrating on looking for Happosai and his eyes finally identified that there were several large piles of other things in the room. Speaking softly to himself, he whispered, “Hey. Where did he get all that women’s underwear?”

Happosai detached himself from a shadow in the crawlspace and positioned himself directly behind Ranma. “Good to see you’re enjoying a healthy interest in the underwear trade, my boy. There is hope for you yet. When I think you’re ready, I’ll begin teaching you the techniques involved in being able to steal and remove women’s underwear in a flash. But for now, you must bear with me and receive your proper training. Namely, having more respect for your master than to go sneaking around behind his back.”

Once punch later, Ranma found himself sent through the floor of the crawlspace and into the room below. The hard impact he expected never came as one of the piles of underwear broke his fall. As he got up, he discovered that a pair of panties had somehow ended up on top of his head. He pulled them off and examined them. Ranma failed to hear the door to the room open as he said, “Yuck. ‘Hello Kitty’ underwear. That’s just plain wrong.” Sensing a growing feeling of hostility, Ranma looked to the door and spotted the person that had opened the door.

Akane’s face began twitching uncontrollably. “I don’t believe you! Not only do you steal my underwear, but you insult it too!”

Ranma held up his hands to try to slow her down. “No! It is not what you…wait a minute. These silly things are yours?”

That comment sealed his fate as Akane belted him through a wall and into the distance far away. Once her anger abated slightly, she began picking through the piles and recovering her underwear. How dare Ranma make fun of her Hello Kitty underwear. Besides, it was not as though she had even bought them. They were a gift from an aunt who seemed to think that Akane was perpetually six years old. She never even wore them.

“I still think she’d look silly in Hello Kitty underwear,” Ranma mumbled to himself as he made his way back to the house an hour later. As it came into view, he saw Shampoo sitting along it, facing the outside.

Once he got to where she was, he asked, “What are you doing out here?”

“Pervert miss Ranma so he try to attack Shampoo. Shampoo get fed up and leave, so he try attack Akane. Akane punched him several districts away. He should be coming back soon,” Shampoo said.

The events of the entire day weighed heavily upon Ranma’s shoulders. “This has got to have been one of the worst days of my life. I’m going to bed.”

“Does Ranma think little pervert won’t attack him there?” 

Ranma considered that. “You might be right. What did you have in mind?”

Shampoo smiled at him. “Well, here is what Shampoo come up with…”

It was midnight when Happosai made his move. He tiptoed quietly through the house, stopping before the room the Saotomes used as their bedroom. Silently, he opened the door, then moved forward once more, not making a sound. Genma’s large form was easily visible on the left side of the room, leaving the huddled mass under the blankets on the right as the only possibility.

Happosai snickered to himself. There was his delightful little Ranma. One little splash of cold water, and then he’d snuggle up against her breasts for a little late night action. After all, the poor old man had been trapped in a cave for over a decade and had to make up for lost time. And Ranma’s chest was one of the best he had ever seen. Maybe even later, he could persuade Ranma to display some delightful little lingerie for him. 

Happosai was squirming in delightful anticipation as he poured the cold water on the form under the covers. In an instant he threw back the blanket and saw a human form underneath. He targeted the chest of the figure and hurled himself onto it. 

“Oh, Ranma. Your bosom is so…flat?” Happosai stopped rubbing his head up and down on the decidedly flat chest of person he was glomping. “What’s going on?”

Shampoo-kun stood up and grabbed Happosai by the back of his gi. “Shampoo no feel like having midnight bath. Goodnight.” An Amazonian kick sent Happosai through the window and into the great beyond. 

Ranma came out of the shadowy corner of the room he had used to stay out of sight. “Well that sure worked out. You were right about what that pervert would do.”

Shampoo-kun smiled happily, and was about to apologize for all of the noise to Genma, when she realized he had manage to sleep through the whole thing.

It was one A.M. when Happosai made his move. He tiptoed quietly through the house, stopping before the room the Saotomes used as their bedroom. Silently he opened the door, then moved forward once more, not making a sound. He looked at the lump on the left once again, and saw that Shampoo-kun had changed to dry sheets, but other than that, everything looked the same.

“So, Shampoo thinks she’s so smart. Well, I never met an Amazon that could outfox me. I’ll just use hot water this time,” Happosai snickered to himself. Shampoo’s cleavage would certainly do. Yes they would. Her bosom was almost as delightful as Ranma’s. Probably on level with Akane’s, in fact.

Without waiting a moment longer, Happosai dumped the hot water on the huddled mass, threw back the covers, and glomped onto the chest of the figure beneath them.

“Oh, Shampoo,” Happosai cooed, then stopped when he realized there were no breasts on the person he was glomping yet again. “Wh…What’s going on here?”

Ranma stood up and plucked the diminutive man from his chest. “I don’t need any hot showers this late at night, you old lech.” 

Once again Happosai found himself belted through the same window he had been before.

As his wails disappeared in the distance, Shampoo-kun came out of the same darkened corner that Ranma had used earlier. “It look like Ranma right about persistent pervert.”

“Of course,” Ranma said smugly. Shampoo-kun would have been content to stay in Ranma’s spot for the night, but Ranma pointed out that Happosai might try again, this time aiming for Shampoo instead of him. And as Ranma knew it would, it turned out he was right. 

Ranma grabbed another set of dry sheets and laid them out. “I doubt the little freak will be back tonight. He doesn’t know what to expect.” Ranma laid down on the sheets. He had just closed his eyes and was making himself comfortable when he felt somebody grab some of the covers and lay down next to him. Slowly, he opened his eyes and turned to see Shampoo-kun trying to make himself comfortable as well.

“Ah, Shampoo. What are you doin’?”

Shampoo-kun kept to the left side of the covers, but made no motion to leave. “Shampoo think pervert come back. It safer if both us sleep together.” He began fluffing up a pillow.

Ranma began to get nervous. Sleeping with Shampoo, even as a guy, was not the sort of thing he wanted to do. People would think he was a pervert or something. “I don’t think it’s really proper, you know.”

Shampoo-kun gave him a look devoid of any duplicity. “We sleep together in China.”

“That was different,” Ranma insisted. “And we slept a lot farther apart.”

“Is all right. We both guys.” With the argument decided in his mind, Shampoo-kun closed his eyes.

Ranma was of two minds about the whole situation. Okay, so Shampoo-kun was obviously a guy at the time, and guys could sleep near each other without it being perverted. Just so long as they did not sleep ‘together.’ On the other hand, Shampoo-kun was also really a girl, which made it seem like maybe it was Ranma who was the pervert. And since Shampoo-kun really was a girl, he felt awkward about the idea of just throwing him out, regardless of what gender the Amazon was at the moment. It would seem pretty callous of him, not that any girls should be trying to sleep with him since he was not the sort of guy that did that sort of thing. And it was true that Happosai was out there, and might yet come back and try to change Shampoo into a girl. If Ranma was around, he could protect her from that. 

That was what his mind at last settled on: he was defending a girl from a pervert. He scooted over as far as he could with the covers, leaving about two feet of distance between him and Shampoo-kun. Since he was going to sleep in his normal clothes as well, rather then go down to his boxers and a tee shirt, that helped too. Even bearing all of that in mind, it took Ranma nearly an hour before he relaxed enough to drift off into an exhausted sleep.

It was getting late in the morning when Akane decided to wake Ranma up. Sometimes it seemed he would sleep the entire day away if she was not around to announce that it was time to get up.

There was a broad smile on her face as she made her way to the Saotomes bedroom. Happosai had not tried to accost her at all. Well, she had barricaded the door with her dresser and nailed the window shut, but still, he seemed awfully persistent and she had not been certain it would work. But it had, and with any luck, Ranma had a peaceful night bereft of his new master as well. After breakfast, they could combine their thoughts once more and see if they could come up with some strategy to get rid of the unwanted little pervert. 

Akane arrived at their door, knocked once, and let herself in. “Wake up sleepy hea—“ her voice drifted off as she fully took in the scene before her. There was Ranma, just laying there, with a decidedly male Shampoo-kun, whose arm had fallen across Ranma’s chest. Akane’s face began twitching as she saw the look of contentment on Shampoo-kun and Ranma’s face. Well, the Amazon looked really content. Ranma looked like he was snoring with his mouth wide open and nose high in the air. But it was close enough to a look of pure contentment to Akane’s angry eyes.

“I see how it is,” she grumbled softly as she turned and left, only to return a moment later with a bucket of water in hand. “One of you perverts is in the wrong form to REALLY be enjoying yourselves.” She splashed both of them with the cold water, activating Ranma’s curse, then headed out in the hall.

Both of them sat up, shocked. Ranma-chan was the first to splutter out a “What?” She was still trying to orient himself when a voice called out, “Hey, Happosai. Ranma said he wants to see you.”

Happosai was in the room within seconds, and upon seeing Ranma-chan, gave his own version of ‘good morning.’ The redhead’s response of returning the good morning was to run out of the room, screaming at the top of her lungs and trying to remove Happosai from her chest. 

Shampoo-kun remained behind, still reorienting himself and trying to figure out where the leak was in the ceiling. And as for Genma Saotome, he just continued snoring. 

Shampoo-kun looked down at the rather nice breakfast at the table that Kasumi had prepared for everyone. Being a male most of the time was proving somewhat annoying; he still intensely disliked it. But with Happosai around, it was proving necessary. Being left alone as a man was preferable to being groped as a girl.

There were other occupants at the table, and he took a moment to look them over again. Kasumi was sitting next to him. Actually, she was sitting very close to him and was continuously asking him to pass things to her, even if they were within what appeared to be easy reach for her. Also, she seemed to be behaving a little oddly this morning, continuously apologizing for brushing against Shampoo-kun’s hand every time he handed her something she asked for. She did appear unusually happy though, which was nice. So far Happosai had not tried to molest her, which was lucky for the little freak. Kasumi was not like Ranma and Akane; she couldn’t defend herself from Happosai’s clutches. If the dwarf came within even three feet of the oldest Tendouu daughter, Shampoo-kun vowed to make him sorry.

Shampoo-kun’s eyes continued to scan the occupants of the table. Akane and Ranma were sitting across from one another, glaring. Apparently it had been Akane who had thrown the water, and it was for some odd reason that involved Ranma and Shampoo-kun sleeping together. It had been explained to her that it had only been done as a defense against Happosai, but Akane still seemed angry despite the explanation. That same explanation had also served to cause some measure of anguish for others at the table.

Soun was practically crying as he said to Genma, “Saotome, how could you allow Shampoo and Ranma to sleep together? He’s engaged to Akane!”

“I tell you it’s not possible.” Genma crossed his arms in confidence. “Any noise would have awakened me. I do have the hearing of an elephant.”

“You got the appetite of one too,” Ranma added. 

“How dare you talk to your father like that! I’ll teach you some manners. Now give me that egg!” 

The two began their usual duel over their meal, with Ranma winning three eggs and two bowls of miso soup to one.

Genma’s stomach grumbled in panic over the loss. He tried finding something to lift up his spirits. “Did you figure out how to get rid of him?”

“Nah, not yet.” Ranma finished his last egg. “He’s a tough one.”

“Where is grandfather Happosai anyway?” Kasumi asked as she looked at the empty place that she had set for him.

“Wrapped him up with some steel cable and dropped him down an open sewer,” Ranma explained casually as he chewed his food.

“That won’t hold him for long, boy,” Genma said as he saw the golden opportunity before him and stole the food from Happosai’s place. 

“I know, I know. I’ll come up with something,” Ranma assured him as he began putting his mind to the problem at hand again.

It took him the better part of a day, but he came up with a plan. All it would take was an accomplice, and he had the perfect one in the house already. All he had to do was ask nicely and he was sure she would see things his way.

Akane was busy doing her homework when she heard the knock on the door. “Come in.” She was slightly surprised to see Ranma enter, looking both nervous and a little anxious as well. “What’s going on?”

Ranma found admitting he needed help a bit more difficult than he imagined. After several half-hearted attempts, he managed to get out. “I need to ask a favor.”

That was a surprise. To her knowledge, Ranma had never directly asked for a favor from anyone else. He’d accept help offered, but didn’t like asking for it up front. “What is it?”

With the initial question out of the way, he found the rest easier. “I want you to go on a training trip with me.”

Akane was only able to blink for the first few moments. She was not sure why, but she would have sworn her heart started beating faster and she felt a little afraid. “You sure you want me to go?”

“Yeah. It would mean a lot to me,” Ranma said without the slightest bit of doubt. 

Akane felt the room get a little warmer, or at least she could have sworn it was. “Who all is going with us?”

“Oh, no one else. Just me, you, and the pervert.”

“Oh that’s—” the last name finally registered. “Why on earth are we taking Happosai with us?”

“I got my reasons.” Seeing Akane start to balk, Ranma tried the next best thing he could think of. He would say the magic word. “Please, Akane. Trust me. It’ll be better for both of us in the long run if we take him along.”

Akane considered the request again. Ranma seemed pretty intent on taking her along. And he did ask her specifically instead of Shampoo, which was very flattering. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Yes.” Ranma ran off to set the second part of his plan in motion. So far it was going on without a hitch. Now all he had to do was get the second person he needed. Since there was a chance he might not want to go along, extraordinary steps were going to have to be taken. 

Ranma went to the nearest sink and poured cold water on himself. Once her top was dry, the slightly damp female left to find Happosai. The search was brief as she came across him in his room. Ranma-chan had only made it two steps into the room before she rolled back in disgust. The little pervert was running a pair of panties along his chin, a look of sheer enjoyment on his face. Ranma-chan could not understand it. Having Akane’s panties on her head had not seemed the least bit stimulating at all. Actually, it had made her feel sort of perverted.

Bracing herself for the arduous task, the redhead dared to enter the room. As a girl, there was no way Happosai was going to deny her request, although before setting out to find Happosai she had practiced her ‘honeyed voice,’ the one that always got her extra food when she purchased it from male food venders. If it worked on them, it would work on the master.

Ranma-chan danced into the room twirled around once for Happosai’s benefit, then sat down next to him. “I have a widdle favor to ask you.” She played her finger around his chest for good measure, forcing the feeling of nausea back down.

Happosai was hopping up and down in excitement. “What is it?”

“Take me and Akane on a training trip.”

Happosai considered that. Ordinarily he would have been all for going on a training trip with two such luscious babes. The only problem was he had just gotten back from being out of commission for over a decade, and wanted to take things semi-easy for at least a little while.

Seeing the doubt start to creep up on Happosai’s features, Ranma-chan began to lay it on as thick as she could. “Pretty please, Master.”

What resistance Happosai’s had began to crumble. “Wellllll…”

It was time to go for the jugular. “I’ll make a deal with you. After the trip is over, I’ll wear a bra for you.” She knew she had him.

Happosai practically jumped through the roof in joy. Ranma-chan was going to be willing to wear a bra for his benefit. Truly she was a far better pupil than his two lousy first students ever were. She was showing true concern for his welfare. “It’s a deal! I’ll starts packing right away. We can leave tomorrow.” He ran off to jump for joy. Not any old bra was going to do for his star pupil. No sir. He was going to liberate one that would be just perfect for his little Ranma-chan.

The cute facade Ranma-chan had been using fell away to reveal a sinister look. The little pervert had fallen for the whole bit hook, line, and sinker. Now if only the plan worked out the way it should, then they would have nothing to fear from Happosai anymore.

It was bright and early the next day that Ranma-chan, Akane, and Happosai, gathered together their camping gear and set out for their training journey. Soun was tearful at the thought of his darling little girl being left alone with only her fiancé to protect her from the master’s perversions. Genma was relieved Happosai was going. Kasumi was happily waving good bye and telling them to have a nice trip. Nabiki cared little one way or the other, and Shampoo-kun was miffed at being left behind, as well as annoyed that Ranma-chan had accidentally hit him with cold water right before the departure and there was no hot water to change back with at the moment. The apology Ranma-chan had given had seemed too mirthful, as though the splashing had been intentional all along and she was just covering her tracks. Very strange indeed. 

Happosai was in heaven as he prepared to set out. He was going out into the countryside with only two beautiful girls and a bag full of women’s undergarments. There was only one thing that could possibly make it better. Three beautiful women. 

“Ranma, why don’t we take Shampoo along too. Another beautiful lady would be welcome company.”

Ranma-chan found herself having to think fast. “Ah, it’s because she’s too sick.”

Shampoo-kun head did a quick jerk as he wondered if he had heard Ranma properly. “Shampoo not—“ 

“Oh my! Shampoo’s sick?” Kasumi declared, then moved right in front of Shampoo-kun to look at him more closely. He did look a little pale. Steps would have to be taken immediately.“Come with me. I’ll make you better.” Kasumi grabbed the Amazon by the arm and dragged him into the house. Shampoo-kun was too stunned by the bizarre turn of events to do anything to resist her as he disappeared from everyone’s sight.

Genma placed his hands on Ranma-chan’s shoulders. “Boy, your sacrifice will not be in vain.”

Soun began to bawl. “My baby girl is leaving.”

“Dad, it’s only a little training trip,” Akane sighed. “We’re just going to be gone for a few days.”

That was not enough to console Soun as he loomed before Ranma-chan. “You’d better take good care of your fiancee, Ranma. Don’t let the Master do anything to her or you’ll answer to me.”

“Yeah, yeah. I hear you. Like she needs me to defend her,” Ranma-chan scoffed. She then turned to Happosai. “Guess what, master. I have a nice surprise for you.”

Happosai looked at Ranma-chan curiously. She seemed just a bit too, happy. “What is it?”

“I’ve decided that since you’re getting on in years, that you shouldn’t have to walk such a long distance on your own. Therefore, I have gotten you this.” Ranma-chan darted around the corner of the house and returned with what appeared to be a little children’s pull wagon with a metal dog house on top of it.

“What is it?” Happosai asked.

“It’s your chariot,” Ranma-chan gushed as effeminately as she could. “I’m going to pull you along with us. And the inside is so nice. I put pillows in and everything. Take a look.”

Happosai was suspicious as he took a look inside the ‘chariot.’ Amazingly enough, it was just as Ranma-chan had said. There were pillows and everything. “Ranma, you’re the prefect student.”

“Of course I am,” Ranma-chan gushed just as sweetly until Happosai crawled in with his bag of underwear. Once inside, she slammed the door to it shut and threw a padlock on it.

“Hey, what’s going on?!” Happosai shouted from inside.

“No need to worry. It’s just to make sure you won’t fall out if the ride gets bumpy,” Ranma-chan cooed.

“But it’s dark in here. I don’t like dark places,” Happosai whined.

“There’s a light inside the wag…uh, I mean your chariot. Also I cut airholes in the top so you can smoke and get fresh air.”

Inside, Happosai found the light and turned it on. Again, everything was just as Ranma-chan had said. “Well that’s more like it. Just make sure you let me out when we get to where we’re going.”

Genma moved next to Ranma-chan and began whispering in her ear. “I think I know what you’re going to do. You’re going to stuff up the airholes and sink this thing in the bottom of a deep lake, right?”

Ranma-chan looked offended. “I am not. I’m taking the master on a training journey, just like I said.” She turned to Akane. “C’mon, let’s head out.”

One last round of farewells followed before the small party was allowed to leave. They turned down the street and set off on their journey.

Night was starting to fall as Ranma-chan finally decided on a place to camp. It was deep in the woods and as far as they could get from any real civilization. When Akane asked Ranma-chan why she had chosen the spot, the redhead just smiled and said, “I like it deep in the woods.”

Once they were settled in, the padlock to Happosai’s chariot was removed and he was allowed outside. After going all day without even managing an attempt at groping, Happosai felt a little drained. The underwear he had packed with them had helped to keep him from feeling too bad, but it still lacked the sort of enjoyment that was triggered by a quick little grab. He was considering latching onto Ranma-chan’s delightful bust when again she gave him a cute smile that caught him off-guard. So few women ever showed him true affection.

“Ohh, master. Allow me to take care of your belongings.” Ranma-chan snatched Happosai’s bundle of underwear, still smiling sweetly at him the entire time as she walked off a little ways.

Happosai gave off a satisfied sigh. What a wonderful disciple Genma’s child was turning out to be. There was real potential in him, the elder could tell. Who knew? One day he might even surpass Happosai in the fine art of Anything Goes Martial Arts.

In the distance and out of sight, Ranma-chan’s voice shouted, “I’ll get the fire started too!”

Again Happosai sighed to himself. Not only was his disciple treating him like a true master, but she had agreed to wear a brassiere as well. Drool began to pour from his mouth as he envisioned the luscious, lithe redhead in the brassiere he had especially picked out for her. He was well into the third fantasy when he noticed the unusual odor. There was something vaguely familiar about the burning scent, and that familiarity gave him a sense of dread in his chest.

Following the scent in the air, he walked around some medium height shrubs and made his way to the campsite. The smell had indeed come from the fire that had been built, and in the middle of the fire was his pride and joy. His entire portable collection of women’s underwear. 

The look of horror etched on Happosai’s face became one of anger as he turned his attention to Ranma-chan. A blue glow shot twenty feet in the air, its form superficially resembling Happosai himself. The image spoke, rather than the real form of the old one, as it said, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BEAUTIES?!

Tears began to well up in Ranma-chan’s eyes. “Oh, Master. It was an accident. I’m so, so sorry.” She threw herself to the ground and began crying.

In the face of such a display, Happosai’s anger fled and the image disappeared. Summoning his self-control, he forced himself to say, “Well, accidents happen. And all is not lost.” He whipped out the bra he had been especially saving for Ranma-chan from out of its secure spot inside his gi.

“Well at least you saved that,” Ranma-chan sighed.

Akane ran into the campfire area, concerned for Ranma-chan’s welfare when she heard Happosai’s earlier rage. Remarkably, she noticed that not only did the redhead not sound disappointed, but actually sounded relieved. 

With Ranma-chan’s acceptance of what was going to be, Happosai walked away from the campfire to be alone. Ranma-chan’s bra was the last undergarment he had to use on the whole training mission. But with the younger Saotome agreeing to wear the bra, there was no way Happosai could call off the trip. That knowledge proved almost too much to bear as he began crying in one of the cups of the bra.

His tearful display lasted almost the whole hour. It would have continued on longer, save that Ranma-chan found him to let him know that dinner was ready. The idea of getting some decent food appealed to Happosai, so he followed hot on Ranma-chan’s heels and to the campfire. Arriving there, Happosai found it was exactly as Ranma-chan had said. There were several rather elaborate dishes set out around the campfire and a kettle of water warming over the fire. Happosai was about to sit down next to one of the trays when Ranma-chan hopped into a cross-legged sitting position and said, “Here, sit on my lap.”

The opportunity was too good to pass up. Happosai jumped into the girl’s lap and snuggled against it, almost like a baby.

“You’re so cute,” Ranma-chan cooed. “Here, Master. Let me serve you.” She indicated for Akane to give her a bowl of food.

The whole situation was freaking out Akane. Ranma-chan had warned her right before going over to retrieve Happosai that she might behave a bit strangely, but Akane was not to worry; it was all part of the plan. However, when Ranma-chan had said strangely, Akane had had no idea of what she was truly in for. Snuggling up to Shampoo-kun, okay, in a weird perverted way that made sense, but to allow Happosai to snuggle up with her defied all the bounds of logic. Still, Akane managed to keep it together long enough to hand Ranma-chan the bowl that she wanted. 

Happosai watched in anticipation as Ranma-chan brought out a spoonful of the gooey, gray substance and raised it next to Happosai’s lips. “You are a far better pupil than that deadbeat father of yours ever was, Ranma. Did you make this?”

“No. Akane did,” Ranma-chan told him, then flashed a smile Akane’s way. Not knowing what to make of the increasingly bizarre behavior, Akane smiled back, and sweatdropped just a little.

“Open your mouth and close your eyes. You’re going to be in for a big surprise,” Ranma-chan said as she served Happosai a huge mouthful of the substance. Happosai opened up quickly and allowed Ranma-chan to feed him. Before he even had a chance to effectively taste the first bite, a second one was jammed into his mouth. Then a third. All Happosai was able to manage was a, “Urghmumphmemph,” which roughly translated into, “Not so fast.”

At last, Happosai had a chance to taste the food, even as the first several spoonfuls hit his stomach all at once. Unable to speak through the stuffing Ranma-chan was doing to him, all he could think was “Why didn’t they tell me it wasn’t fit for human consumption?”

Like a girl possessed, Ranma-chan kept forcing spoonful after spoonful of Akane’s food into the master’s mouth and into his stomach. There was no hope for the diminutive man as he was too weak to resist Ranma-chan’s attack.

Akane watched as her fiancee proceeded to feed all of the food to Happosai. “Ranma, save some for yourself.”

“Are you kidding?” Ranma-chan said in a surprisingly honeyed voice as she continued to stuff food down Happosai’s throat. “The Master can’t get enough of your cooking. And since he appreciates it far more than I ever could, we’ll let him eat it all. And don’t bother cooking anything else. I brought along some of Kasumi’s leftovers that will go bad if we don’t eat them tonight.”

Akane was a little reluctant to settle for the leftovers, but Happosai was indeed eating her cooking without a word of protest. It appeared that the little old pervert did have one nice characteristic: he knew how to appreciate good cooking. 

Ranma-chan’s eyes had almost a glazed look to them as she kept stuffing food down Happosai’s throat. “Y’know, when we get back, I bet the Master would just love for you to cook for him every night. Just look at the way he’s packing it down.”

The very idea sent shivers of fear down Happosai’s spine. Using his last reserves of strength, Happosai forced himself off Ranma-chan’s lap and struggled to his feet. “No more.” His voice came out as a harsh, rasping gasp. “Can’t take it. Ranma. The trip is over. I can’t take anymore.”

Ranma-chan looked at him with the faintest hint of tears in her eyes. “But you said we could go on this trip.”

“I can’t take it anymore.”

Ranma-chan sighed. “I am so disappointed, but if you feel that it’s necessary, then so be it.”

It was settled, but it was too late. Without any groping all day long, without any underwear to snuggle against, after being horrendously poisoned, Happosai had nothing left to give. There was only one last thing that could save him now. He pulled out the special bra and waved in Ranma-chan’s direction. “You promised.”

Ranma-chan nodded happily. “I certainly did.” She started to take off her top, then seemed to notice Akane. “Look, I need some privacy. Could you turn around?”

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Akane knew that Ranma-chan had given her word, but it seemed too high a price to pay. Surely they could arrange some sort of alternate solution, rather than having Ranma-chan display herself like a model of some kind to the demented old pervert.

“Yep. Just turn around.”

Akane gave in. So far Ranma-chan had acted strangely for the entire trip, yet somewhere deep inside, Akane thought there was a method to her seeming madness. So she elected to do as the redhead asked one last time, silently vowing to turn around if it sounded like Happosai was groping Ranma-chan.

Akane listened closely to the events that took place behind her. She could hear Happosai say, “That’s it, Ranma take the bra…hey! What are you doing with that kettle of hot water?” Akane heard the sound of splashing water. Again Happosai spoke, “Now you’ve ruined the moment. Wait! Ranma, don’t put it on. No! Stop! I don’t want to see that. Agh! That is disgusting. Now you’ve ruined it.” She could hear the sound of Happosai’s crying. When that became too much to bear, she turned around to see what had just happened.

She turned in time to see the bra pitched onto the fire. A further glance showed the now male Ranma putting his top back on. Akane became aware that she was now staring at Ranma’s muscular back, and a faint red was blossoming in her cheeks.

When Ranma at last noticed the stare, as he finished putting on his shirt, he asked, “What’s your problem?”

Akane turned quickly away. “Nothing.”

“You didn’t see me wear that thing, did ya?”

“No, no,” Akane said.

Ranma seemed to accept that at face value. All he said to Akane was, “Let’s leave the lech alone. We’ll sleep over here.” He indicated a place far off to the side and well away from Happosai’s motionless form. From where she stood, Akane could see that his chest was still falling and rising, and she wasn’t foolish enough to try to get closer to the old coot and allow himself to reenergize himself with a quick grope.

The duo retired to their individual tents, zipping them up as an additional precaution against Happosai, though both felt they were being overcautious. 

The next morning, the duo woke up to discover that Happosai was nowhere to be found. All that was left to show that he was ever there was a note, written in barely legible scrawl:

Dear Ranma and Akane,  
I regret to inform you that I must leave you now. I know this must bring you great  
sorrow, but circumstances force me to leave both you and the dojo. There’s no way I’m going through another night like that again. I’m too old and can’t do that sort of thing anymore. I’ll drop by from time to time, but as for now, I can no longer be your master, Ranma. Tell the others I will miss them. And tell those two ungrateful students of mine that I will be back to catch up on old times, once I have caught my breath. 

Sincerely yours,  
Happosai.

Ranma was practically crying as he began jumping up and down and shouting, “Yes, Akane! It worked. The old coot’s gone! Let’s go back home.”

Ranma’s good mood was infectious as Akane at last understood why Ranma had behaved as he had. Later on, she also noted that the trip back was extraordinarily cheerful, and discovered that she could actually enjoy spending time with Ranma. Even with how bizarre the first day had gone, Akane counted the whole thing as a joyful experience.

When the duo arrived home, Ranma burst through the door and headed straight for the living room. They were all there, and Ranma explained all that had happened, showing the letter to everyone. Especially his father.

“So, you ready to pay up?” Ranma asked.

Genma suddenly became concerned. It was true he had given certain promises to Ranma, but there was no need to actually going through with them. “You aren’t going to hold me up to that foolish bet, are you, son?”

Ranma’s grin was ear to ear. “What do you think, pop?”

The next day found Shampoo-kun, Akane, Nabiki, and Ranma-chan preparing for school.  
Just as they were about to leave, Ranma-chan shouted back inside, “Don’t forget, you gotta do whatever Kasumi says until I get back.”

“You sure I can’t purchase your father’s services for at least a day?” Nabiki asked. 

Ranma-chan’s grin that had started the day before upon showing her father the letter, had not faltered in the least and was still there, just the same as before. “No way. No amount of money in the world would be worth giving up a single minute of his service.”

Akane sighed. Even as difficult as Genma was, she still thought Ranma was being a bit cruel. “I still think the uniform was a bit much. Where did you get it anyway?”

“The pervert must have grabbed it by accident when he went on one of his panty raids,” Ranma-chan said. “I think it suits pop.”

Inside the house, Genma looked down at the French maid’s outfit Ranma was forcing him to wear while doing the housework. All Genma could do was look to the heavens and shout out, “Oh, the humanity!”

Epilogue

It was lunch time, and Yoshi ate in the cafeteria, as usual. Too bad it was far from a usual day for him. In fact, it was one of the worst. He didn’t want to be at school, even if his best friend, Atsushi, was there to console him. Besides, Atsushi really wasn’t that good at consolations. 

Again Yoshi tired poured his heart out to his friend. “I can’t believe she dumped me for that guy.”

“Hey, women are like that,” Atsushi said in the same uncaring manner he always did. “I told you a long distance relationship wouldn’t work.”

The ‘I told you so,’ did nothing to improve Yoshi’s mood. “But she doesn’t even know him. She just said he’s good-looking and she’s pretty sure she can take him out.”

“I didn’t think she was that aggressive,” Atsushi said, wondering how he could have misjudged Yoshi’s old flame that badly. “What’s the guy’s name anyway?”

Yoshi’s hand formed into a fist. “Ranma Saotome. If I ever meet him he is dead meat.”

Atsushi noticed how the guy directly behind Yoshi suddenly stiffened at the mention of the name. Slowly, the brown-haired figure turned to look directly at Yoshi’s eyes.

“You said the guy’s name is Ranma Saotome, right?”

“Ah, yes,” Yoshi said, not realizing he had been babbling loud enough to be heard and hoped the unfamiliar guy was the only that had been paying any attention.

“I see. Exactly what high school does this ex-girlfriend of yours attend?” Ukyou Kuonji asked as she began the form the first vestiges of her plan of the holy vengeance her old fiancé so richly deserved. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Can’t take responsibility for the ‘Castration Kick’ line in the skating part of the chapter. I read it in another fic whose title eludes me at the moment.

Special thanks to Gary Kleppe and L.Ang for looking this over as well.


	5. Of Spatulas and Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last of the regulars is reintroduced as Ukyo appears.

Ranma ½ Presents:   
Shampoo ½  
Chapter 5

Of Spatulas and Men

Standard disclaimer:  
I don’t own any of these characters, nor pretend to. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

An alternate universe:  
What’s gone on before: In the beginning, Ranma and Genma traveled to Jusenkyou for the first time and started to spar, not realizing a duel was already occurring between Shampoo and Mousse. One mid-air collision and dunking in spring of young drowned man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Shampoo-kun= male.) Shampoo began traveling with Ranma after acquiring her curse. Since then chaos and confusion has reigned. At the end of last chapter, a certain somebody at an all boy’s school heard about the antics of one “Ranma Saotome” and has become very interested in settling an old score…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was turning out to be a boring day.

Slowly, eyes little more than half-lidded slits, Ranma-chan scanned the classroom. Today was just one of those languid days when nothing was happening, and to be blunt, she was bored. That was perhaps the one thing Ranma-chan hated most of all: nothing interesting in the least going on. Oh, it was true that sometimes things got TOO interesting, but given a choice between the one or the other, she would have wanted something to happen to liven things up each and every time.

Lazily, the redhead looked over towards Akane and Shampoo-kun. No. Neither one of them seemed to be having any problems (nor causing any, for that matter). Kunou wasn’t around. No deranged cheerleaders were present. There was only the droning voice of Godai-sensai disturbing the silence. It was too boring for Ranma-chan to complain about how boring it was.

Ranma-chan’s head was resting on her desk when a young student entered the room. He appeared to be the same age as the others in the class. Curiously, the newcomer bore a grill under the arm and a large spatula strapped across the back. All eyes turned towards the unusual visitor.

“Ah, I was wondering when you’d show up,” Godai-sensei said to the newcomer before turning his attention to the rest of the room. He hoped things would go all right. He didn’t believe they would, but he did try to hold on to a glimmer of hope. Clearing his throat, he said, “Class, allow me to introduce a new student. Everyone, please meet Ukyou Kuonji.”

The new student was immediately sized up by the members of the class. The girls evaluated the new boy, coming up with an eighty seven percent approval rating: He wasn’t leering at any of the girls, had not attempted to glomp onto anyone the instant he had laid eyes upon them, did not spout poetry, and had pretty darn good-looking bishonen features to boot (though he still fell somewhat short of Ranma in the looks department.)

The boys of the class came up with a thirty-five percent approval rating: Too good-looking; they didn’t need the competition. If he went for the bishonen look, he was probably not athletically inclined and therefore not likely to help by joining any of the sports teams. However, he did have a large spatula slung across his back, which meant he was weird and would probably have some decent entertainment value.

As the students continued their evaluations, Ukyou bowed before the class. The chef then laid the grill down and held two of the mini-spatulas from the bandoleer in her hands. 

Ranma-chan had initially been interested in the newcomer, but when all that happened was a normal introduction, quickly became bored again. Her own evaluation had gone something along the lines of ‘Not attacking me or anyone I know: another boring student with a grill.’ She was about to try catching just a tiny nap, when something about the figure struck a chord deep inside the recesses of her memory. “No way. It can’t be.”

Ukyou raised the spatulas high in the air. “Witness the prowess of a master of okonomiyaki.”

Her hands moved at blinding speed, and within moments the chef cooked, then tossed, okonomiyaki to everyone in the class. Each serving of the food landed right on target upon each individual’s desk.

Akane bit down on hers. It was delicious. She was going to have to try to get Kasumi to make some. Or better yet, try to do it herself. Judging by how quickly this Ukyou made them, cooking some would be easy.

Across from Akane, Ranma-chan took one bite into hers and smiled. Only one okonomiyaki in the world could taste that good. “It is! It is Ucchan!” she shouted as she jumped out of her seat in a heartbeat and made her way across the room by leaping upon other students’ desks as a normal person would play hopscotch. She stopped right in front of Ukyou and was about to embrace the chef, when a giant spatula was maneuvered between her and her intended target.

“Do I know you, Miss?” Ukyou asked, watching for any other unexpected movements from the girl. The redhead had seemed more happy than violent, but it could have been some sort of trick. Ukyou was too close to achieving her heart’s desire now to let anything get in the way.

The smaller girl gave Ukyou a hurt look. “Sure, Ucchan. It’s me, RanAKK.” 

Akane’s elbow landed on top of Ranma-chan’s head, preventing her from saying getting anything else out. “My, my, Shampoo, aren’t we being too friendly with Ranma’s acquaintances?” She emphasized ‘Shampoo’ and ‘Ranma’ with all the subtlety of a brick to the head.

Ranma-chan blinked in confusion for a second, then nodded in understanding. “Right. Ranma’s friends.”

Ukyou’s eyebrows raised in surprise at that. “You know Ranma?”

“Yeah.” Ranma-chan decided to make the best of the bad situation. Besides, she could probably tell Ukyou the truth, eventually. “He’s right over there.” She pointed to Shampoo-kun.

Ukyou looked suspiciously at the dark-haired boy Ranma-chan had indicated. The chef was still staring at him as she asked, “So, he’s told you the nickname he had for me?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ranma-chan said casually. “We’ve been around each other for months now. There aren’t any secrets we keep from one another.”

That got the attention of all the girls in the room. Every set of female eyes, save Akane and Ukyou’s, regarded Ranma-chan with hostility at the perceived advantage the redhead had over them and the target of their affections. Since the Ranma-chan’s attention was riveted on the newcomer, she remained momentarily unaware of the host of lethal stares.

Ukyou stared suspiciously at the shorter girl. “And what did Ranma tell you about me?”

Thoughts about their shared past cheered Ranma-chan up. “He told me everything. About how you were one of the few friends he had growing up. How you used to make okonomiyaki for him. How you two used to spar. It was too bad he had to leave all that behind with Pop. I mean his pop. He never knew anyone else that ever made okonomiyaki as good as that.”

Ukyou’s harsh look, which had partially faded away when the chef had been cast adrift on memories of bliss, hardened. “Typical.” Ukyou snorted in disgust. “He lied about the ‘departure’.”

“The heck I did,” Ranma-chan shot back. “I didn’t forget anything. Pop and me were leaving and you were chasing uACK!” A blunt object halted her speech once again.

Akane tossed back the paperweight Shampoo-kun had thrown to her --to silence Ranma-chan-- back. “Who was leaving who, might I ask?”

Most of the girls in the class picked on the faux pas as well, and as usual, came to their own conclusions as to what that meant. A chorus of voices filled the room as the girls formed small groups and began chattering amongst themselves.

“How dare she call Ranma’s father, Pop.”

“She makes it sound like they’re already married.”

“You don’t suppose there’s a reason for that?”

“What if they got married in a secret ceremony and are just keeping it quiet until Shampoo becomes pregnant and they can’t hide it anymore?”

“Oh my god! Shampoo’s pregnant with Ranma’s child!”

“NOW CUT THAT OUT!” Ranma-chan roared at the top of her lungs. It was amazing how quickly students could come up with weird ideas and spread ridiculous rumors. Odds were the shout would be seen as a denial that would serve to confirm the gossip, and Nabiki would be accepting bets on the sex of the child by tomorrow morning. The only saving grace was that Ukyou didn’t seem to be buying into the rumor.

“Anyway,” Ranma-chan began again. “Mr. Saotome and Ranma were leaving and you were chasing him down the street. Ranma was sitting on top of the yatai as he saw you running and calling out his name as you waved good-bye. He waved at you until you were out of sight. He even felt kind of bad about it for a couple of weeks, before completely forgetting about it until he saw you again today.”

Ukyou’s anger began to swell. Ranma had dared to forget about her? After what he had done? “And did he tell you what kind of a yatai it was?”

“Sure it was the oko…wait a minute. We didn’t have an okonomiyaki yatai.”

Shampoo-kun tossed a desk at Ranma-chan. Once again conditioning took effect.

“RANMA! RANMA, didn’t have a yatai!” the redhead emphasized as she rubbed her head. “You did. Why did we…I mean they, have your cart?”

“It was part of the deal.”

“What deal?”

Ukyou’s eyes glinted dangerously. “The deal to take me along.”

“Why were you supposed to go with err…them?”

“That is between Ranma and me,” Ukyou intoned dramatically before turning her attention to her grill again. The chef whipped up yet another okonomiyaki and tossed it to Shampoo-kun, who snatched it out of mid-air. On it were written the words, “I challenge you to a fight, Ranma Saotome. Meet me behind the gymnasium right after school.”

With the challenge delivered, Ukyou leapt out a window and to the ground below.

“You know, I actually kind of expected that to happen,” Godai-sensai stated from his desk at the front of the class. Apparently desensitization to the bizarre really could happen.   
“So what did you do to him?” Akane asked.

“Nothing,” Ranma-chan insisted. “I can’t figure out why the guy’s angry with me. I know there was nothing I did that could have been misinterpreted as something bad, like with Ryouga. Besides, Ukyou wasn’t screwed up like Ryouga was. Ucchan was a normal little kid, just like me.” 

Ranma-chan missed the suspicious glances Akane and Shampoo-kun shot towards her. She was too lost in thought over the new events. Something strange was going on with Ucchan, and she meant to get to the bottom of it. On the bright side, at least things were looking interesting for the first time today. Although suspicions about the situation evolving into something TOO interesting made her somewhat cautious.

Shampoo-kun considered the situation, then shrugged. If he had to fight in Ranma’s stead, it would be no problem. He brought out a bonbori and gave it a few practice swings. He doubted if it would be much of a fight. After all, how dangerous could someone whose primary weapon was a spatula be?

Rumors had reached Tatewaki Kunou (rumors he had not needed to pay for, the gossip having reached his ears before Nabiki Tendou had gotten to him and offered to give him some ‘exclusive information,’ about Ranma, for a price), and they had told of yet another person who had become embroiled in the holy crusade against the Evil Saotome. It was a matter worth looking into. Not that Kunou needed assistance in his campaign against the vile one, but it suited his desires to know who else might be aligned against his most tenacious and dishonorable opponent.

Besides, he had to be sure it wasn’t some sort of plan on the part of the newcomer to ingratiate himself into the feelings of Saotome’s two love slaves: The Beauteous Akane Tendou and The Equally Spirited Shampoo.

It took some searching, but eventually he came upon the new student. Ukyou was in the process of setting up some kind of fighting ring behind the gymnasium. The design was a bit unusual, with an odd black metal surrounding the edge of the mat and several large ceramic jars located near one corner of the ring. Apart from those odd characteristics, it appeared to be capable of containing an honorable duel.

“Good day to you, Sir.” Kunou’s announcement captured Ukyou’s attention and caused a scowl to crease the chef’s forehead.

“What do you want?” Ukyou asked.

“I have come to see for myself yet another of the foul Saotome’s many enemies.”

That got Ukyou’s attention. “Oh? He has lots of enemies?”

“Indeed,” Kunou’s eyes glazed over and he drew his bokken, pointing it to the skies as he went into full rant mode. “All men are truly the enemy of one so low, yet it falls to champions such as us to counter his evil ways, for he is an opponent of some might. Though no comparison to my own, of course.”

“Unn, right,” Ukyou said hesitantly, wondering if the guy was for real.

“His evils know no limits. He has somehow, perhaps through magic, bound two women to his cause. Two sweet innocent maidens that he uses for his own base desires.”

Ukyou nodded in understanding. It was an unusual way to put it, but Ukyou knew what Kunou meant. “Using women for his own, umm base desires. Now that sounds like the Ranma I know. A real user of women, along with his worthless father. I bet that redhead was one of them. Maybe I can explain to those girls what a creep he really is, and then they’ll leave him.”

“Indeed,” Kunou cast a suspicious glance towards Ukyou, and pointed his bokken in her direction. “Why such concern about the women? Do you mean to make them yours as well?”

“Eww,” Ukyou made a face towards Kunou. “I’m not that way. I don’t like girls.”

“Ah, that is a relief,” Kunou paused as he considered exactly what Ukyou had just said. There was something a little off about that statement. “What do you imply by declaring that you do not like girls?”

“It’s self-explanatory,” Ukyou responded. “I’m normal, okay? I just like guys.”

Kunou paled. “What a grim day this has become. Furinkan has yet another pervert amongst its halls, as though there were not enough such depraved people already.”

“Excuse me?!”

“You probably lusted after me from the moment you laid eyes upon my magnificent form.”

Ukyou made an even more disgusted face at that. “I’d sooner date a girl than a guy like you, Sugar. And believe me, that’s saying a lot.” 

“Methinks thou doth protest too much,” Kunou quoted as he jumped into the ring and brandished his bokken towards Ukyou. “I consider it my duty to teach you the error of your unholy ways.”

The giant spatula found its way into Ukyou’s hands. “Okay. I wanted to test my fighting ring anyway. I guess this is as good a way as any.”

“Foolish, perverted, misguided youth. I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan. There are none that can truly defeat me, Ranma having cheated in all of our fights to date. Allow me to beat the perversions out of you.”

Ukyou just gave a grim smile in return.

The fight was brief, consisting of Kunou going. “A spatula is no true weapon.” *SMACK* “OW! Put that pot down, else I shall—“ *SPLASH* “How grotesque. I am now covered in some repellent brown sticky substance.” *SMACK* “OW! How dare you strike me while I’m distracted. All I need is a moment to.” *SIZZLE* “ARGH! I’m being cooked alive!” *SMACK* “I shall avenge myself upon you, once I recover consciousness.’ *THUD*

A wide smile broke Ukyou’s face. Now that she felt warmed up, she was prepared for the main event. As she waited for her former fiancé to show, she stared at Kunou. As she did so, an idea came to her. After all, she needed something to kill the time.

Word had traveled like wildfire through the school during the course of the day. Enough people heard about the impending battle that when school ended, there was a sizable crowd gathered behind the gymnasium waiting for the fight.

“What the heck is that?” Ranma-chan called out as she made her way through the crowd only to see Kunou, leaning against the ring, baked into the middle of a giant okonomiyaki.

“I was experimenting with a new style of food,” Ukyou explained from the center of the ring. “I was going to call it, Dip-with-a-Stick Okonomiyaki, but it’s an absolute failure.”

“The great Tatewaki Kunou is no man’s side order,” Kunou complained as he tried prying himself out of the slightly burned yet still tasty crust. But it was all to no avail. He turned his head towards Akane and Ranma-chan. “It appears my situation is somewhat awkward. I would not consider it beneath me to have you assist me out of this foodstuff.”

Watching Akane and the big-tailed girl laugh until they cried, Kunou realized that Ranma truly had woven his spell deeply into their souls. Should the perverted Kuonji fail to dispatch Ranma, it would fall to Kunou to defend them in their innocence once again. First, he had to get out of his bizarre predicament to make sure he would be able to do that. After taking a deep breath, he began eating his way out of his baked form of confinement. On the bright side, Kuonji, as perverted as he was, did know how to make darn good okonomiyaki.

Next to the ring, Godai-sensai sighed. It was his responsibility to see to the welfare of a new student. Actually, it was his responsibility to look after the welfare of all his students, but he gave up on that early on. He’d have been lucky to survive spending five minutes with them given some of the situations they tended to end up in. But for the sake of the new student, he had to try at least this once. It would be risky, but no one would accuse Yusaku Godai of being spineless.

Except his neighbors, wife, family, and anyone that knew him really well.

Walking over to Shampoo-kun, Godai cleared his throat to get the boy’s attention. “I don’t know what happened in your past, Ranma, but try to go easy on Ukyou. He is a new student, after all.”

Shampoo-kun did what came naturally and promptly ignored the reasonable advice. Ukyou had challenged him (inadvertently) and was going to learn the hard way just what a mistake that was (a big one). Besides, in a way, Shampoo-kun was doing the chef a favor, since Ranma was better than the Amazon and would have defeated Ukyou even more quickly and efficiently.

A glance at the students surrounding the ring revealed the usual crowd of Shampoo-kun admirers waving signs with his ‘name’ on them and shouting words of encouragement. Annoyingly enough, he also noted that most of the guys were rooting for Ukyou. The naïve fools. Really, what chance did anyone think the likes of a chef, even a martial arts one, stood against someone as tough as Shampoo-kun? He’d make short work of the newcomer; less than five minutes was all it would take.

With a leap, Shampoo-kun effortlessly propelled himself over the ropes and into the ring, landing lightly on his feet and ready for battle. Ukyou met the cursed-amazon’s look of intensity with one of her own. Now that she found herself at the moment of truth, a moment anticipated for more than a decade of devotion to revenge, she took her time to evaluate him. Her Ranchan no longer looked the same since those bygone days when they were in the flower of their youth, before he shamed her. His appearance had completely changed. Had it not been for people pointing him out, she would never have been able to guess this boy was him. 

She took note that he was several centimeters taller than her, with a broad chest and nice shoulders that even his school uniform couldn’t hide. Definitely handsome, much moreso than she had remembered. For a moment, the feelings of desire, long since forgotten (or perhaps more accurately, suppressed) flooded back to her. But then years of not so pent up anger overwhelmed the pleasant memories and attraction. This was the moment of truth, where Ranma paid for humiliating her and abandoning her at the side of the road. She felt an increase in anger towards him for making her want to not bash his head in, even if it had lasted for only the span of a moment. 

Ukyou brought her giant spatula up, raising it up past her shoulder so that she could bring it into play in an instant. When they were but children, Ranma might have been able to defeat her, but no longer. For years she had practiced and become better at her art. She had even gone so far as to fight the ocean. Sure, it hadn’t been much of a sparring partner, and she hadn’t defeated it, but that wasn’t the point. Besides, Ranma was no body of water; he could be beaten.

In response to Ukyou’s motion, Shampoo-kun brought his own bonboris to bear.

“I see you came prepared,” Ukyou said. “For what you did to me, Ranma Saotome, you are going to pay.”

Shampoo-kun smirked in response. “Am ready.”

Much to Ranma-chan’s surprise, she found herself becoming dismayed over the fight. It was bad enough to allowing Shampoo-kun to fight yet another battle meant for her, but now it was against someone she had really liked. The redhead had already warned Shampoo-kun to go easy on Ukyou, but perhaps the whole thing could still be prevented. She muscled her way past the crowd and to the edge of the ring, then called up to the chef, “Isn’t there some way to call this off, Ucchan?”

Ukyou turned in anger at the strange girl who had been acting far too friendly with her from the moment they had met. “NO! And don’t call me Ucchan. Only Ranma could call me that, and he lost that right a long time ago.”

“Fine,” Shampoo-kun snorted. “Ranma call Ucchan something else stupid instead.”

Ukyou looked at her opponent curiously. “What is it with the missing pronouns?”

Before Shampoo-kun could answer, Akane blurted out, “Ranma was in China for so long, and spoke Chinese so well, he’s forgotten how to speak Japanese fluently.”

“Good answer.” Ranma-chan patted Akane on the back in appreciation for coming up with the excuse. Yes, it was flimsy, but the student body of Furinkan was not the brightest around. It would hold up to their sort of casual inspection.

“I think it’s cute,” one of the girls next to the ring moaned, proving just how correct Ranma-chan had been

Ukyou considered the girl’s words. The spatula wavered slightly. “Yeah, it is kind of cute. Maybe…” She realized what she was saying and shook her head. “Hey! You’re trying to get me to not beat you up by coming on to me by acting cute again, aren’t you? That’s a pretty low trick, but it’s not going to work! What feelings I had for you don’t matter anymore. You’re going to pay!” Ukyou brandished her spatula in Shampoo-kun’s direction once again.

Akane eyes widened at the reference to ‘feelings’ and the manner in which they were spoken. She looked at Ranma-chan quizzically. “Feelings he has for you? Coming on to him? Just what kind of relationship did you have with Ukyou?”

“Not that kind.” Ranma-chan shook her head furiously, picking up on the implication of Ukyou’s words as well. He hadn’t thought Ukyou went that way. He had always seemed like a normal kid, or at least that was what Ranma-chan remembered. Obviously he hadn’t know Ukyou quite as well as she thought she had.

“Are you sure you didn’t lead him on?” Akane asked suspiciously.

“Of course not! I’m not that way!” Ranma-chan shot back, offended at the implication.

The girls surrounding the ring listened to the words Ukyou had used as well. Several huddles formed as discussions on this new information broke out among them.

“Ranma’s gay?”

“It can’t be. I’ve seen the way he looks at me. You know, the way guys look at girls. Pure lust.”

“And yet, it would explain why he tries so hard to avoid dating us.”

“And also why Akane isn’t interested in a hunk like him.”

“We need some way to prove Ranma’s not gay.”

“Let’s have a guy try to kiss him. If Ranma hits him, that means he’s not interested in men.”

“My brother, Tetsuo swings that way.” The speaker turned to her brother. “Hey, Tetsuo. Try to kiss Ranma.”

Tetsuo was offended. “Excuse me, I am not some desperate alley cat that tries to kiss someone whom he hardly knows, unlike some girls I could mention, dear sister. Besides, I don’t go for the martial artist type. They are so insufferably macho.”

Shampoo-kun didn’t know whether to be offended at being unkissable to the boy, or grateful that his acting job was so good.

Sayuri took command of the situation. “I guess there’s only one other course for us to take. We’ll have to have a girl kiss Ranma and prove that he isn’t gay.”

“Who’s going to do it?” another girl asked.

“This burden must fall upon my shoulders.” Sayuri boldly said, beating back the other girls that wanted to share her ‘burden’. She crawled up the ring apron and walked over to the corner Shampoo-kun was in. She leaned in the ring and said, “Well, Ranma, here’s a chance to prove your manliness to everyone.” Sayuri closed her eyes and puckered up.

Shampoo-kun let his bonbori kiss her. Hard.

As the crowd grabbed Sayuri’s unconscious form, cries of anguish and tears began to come from the girls, and the boys cheered as Shampoo-kun’s sexual orientation came into question.

Ranma-chan began to panic. There was only one option left to her. Boldly, she declared to Akane, “I can’t let this happen. The name of Ranma Saotome can’t be connected with such unmanly behavior. Shampoo has got to kiss a girl to prove I’m not gay.”

Akane’s eyes widened at the look of determination in Ranma-chan’s eyes; nothing would be stopping the redhead this time. An odd sensation came over Akane. It wasn’t jealousy. Really, it wasn’t. “Ranma, are you sure you’re going to be able to kiss Shampoo in front of all these people?” 

“Don’t be silly. I’m not going to do it. She’s a guy now. You’re going to have to go in there and kiss her for me.”

A giant wooden hammer found its way to Ranma’s skull.

Shampoo-kun turned his attention from the fallen Ranma-chan back to his opponent, only to see Ukyou glowing blue and glaring at him with a look of pure rage. 

“How dare you blatantly tease and seduce all of these girls right in front of my face!” Ukyou roared.

After Shampoo-kun picked himself from the facefault, he returned the glare to Ukyou. “Stupid Spatula Boy not have strong connection with reality. Now Ranma make connection even worse.” He waved his bonbori menacingly towards Ukyou.

“Spatula BOY?!” Ukyou raged, then lunged forward and attacked. 

The Amazon met the charge with one of his own, the two opponents meeting right in the center of the ring. The sound of metal on metal resounded across the yard as bonbori met spatula, sparks flying as the weapons connected soundly with one another.

For a couple of minutes, all that was heard was the ringing of weapons clashing and the gasps of the crowd as one opponent would nearly hit the other, only to have a flurry of counterstrikes drive the attacker back and prevent him from taking the advantage. Ukyou connected first with a glancing blow off Shampoo-kun’s shoulder, which was then returned with a solid blow from the cursed Amazon, who struck with a bonbori to Ukyou’s ribs.

Ukyou backflipped away from Shampoo-kun. At first, the dark-haired boy thought it was because his opponent wanted to catch his wind, but instead, Ukyou kicked one of the pots lining the inside of the ring in Shampoo-kun’s direction. The Amazon was a blur of motion as he barely reacted in time by batting the pot back with a blow from the bonbori, driving the batter and rubber cement mixture within back towards his foe. Ukyou, having more time to react, deftly leaped over the jar, allowing the contents to spill over the edge of the ring, hardening almost instantly. She then retaliated with a volley of throwing spatulas in Shampoo-kun’s direction. He dodged the weapons, only to land on the black metal lining the edge of the ring. A second later, he discovered that what appeared to be a normal part of the ring was actually a very hot, non-stick, cooking surface. Shouting from the pain of the unexpected hotfoot, Shampoo-kun leaped back to the center of the ring.

Ukyou pressed the advantage, hurling another volley of mini spatulas. Anticipating where Shampoo-kun would dodge correctly, the okonomiyaki chef struck solidly with Shampoo-kun’s shoulder, causing him to drop a bonbori. Smiling, Ukyou picked up the weapon with the flat of her own and hurled the metal sphere into one of the other batter and rubber cement jars.

“That takes care of that,” Ukyou smirked, cocky at her success and believing her victory close at hand. Her overconfidence was short lived as she received a kick to the chest when she paused too long to unleash her next blow. The next strike from Ukyou’s weapon was deflected by Shampoo-kun’s remaining bonbori, which also left her too close as Shampoo-kun drew back his free hand and called out, “Kachu-tenshen amaguriken!”

Ukyou’s skills were great enough that she saw the hand actually blurring in front of her and realized her opponent’s fist was moving at an unbelievable velocity, although Ukyou felt nothing of the blows. Rather than allow the volley to continue, she leaped backward, preparing for another attack. Just as she drew her spatula back for another blow, she saw Shampoo-kun smirk and hold out his hand. Within its grasp were several throwing spatulas, each held between his fingers. Ukyou looked down at her bandoleer to see it absent of her familiar weapons, the majority of which were now on the mat, lying at her opponent’s feet.

Reacting even as Shampoo-kun continued his cocky grin, Ukyou pulled a bag of flour from its place of concealment within her outfit and hurled it at the dark-haired boy. Shampoo-kun’s form was lost in the white haze of the flour bomb.

“Time to finish it.” Ukyou drew yet another weapon she had prepared especially for the duel, a bowl of special noodles with the tensile strength of steel. Using a pair of chopsticks, she hurled the noodles into the fog in a wide web, allowing the base of the strands to remain in the bowl. In a second she felt them latch onto something in the fog and pulled the noodles tight. She knew she had her prey at last. This particular strategy had been one she came up with the night before. She had not thought she would need it, but thankfully she had decided not to take any chances. Victory was now hers. Once the fog cleared, her helpless opponent would truly get the beating he deserved.

The flour fog finally dissipated, and Ukyou was left staring in disbelief at the tableau before her. Shampoo-kun was standing there, all of the noodles firmly in the grip of his right hand.

“Ha!” Shampoo-kun laughed as he maintained his hold on the noodles. “Ranma has been trained in Martial Arts Take Out, and knows counter to stupid noodle trick.”

While Ukyou stood there, stunned, Shampoo-kun pulled back on the noodles, jerking the chef forward and causing her to lose her grip on her giant weapon. The moment Ukyou was close enough, he released his hold on the noodles and wrapped his opponent up in a bear hug, pinning her arms before she could recover. Ukyou squirmed futilely in his grasp, trying to escape, but was helpless in the face of his vastly superior strength.

Shampoo-kun tightened his grip and felt Ukyou’s body smothered flat against him, her breath slowly being forced from her lungs leaving her helpless to draw in another. Just as he was sure she was about to pass out, he noticed an inconsistency with his opponent’s form. Specifically, two rounded fleshy inconstancies that were poking him in his chest. 

Using his foot, Shampoo-kun flicked one of the fallen mini-spatulas in the air. Just as it reached eye level with him, he released his hold on Ukyou and snatched the weapon out of mid-air, taking a half step back. 

The audiences’ eyes widened as Shampoo-kun brought the weapon down in a sweeping arc, right in front of Ukyou. Cries of dismay started to circulate among the crowd when everyone finally saw that Shampoo-kun had not actually cut Ukyou, but rather the front of her outfit. 

And the bindings that kept her breasts bound tight against her flesh.

It took a moment for the cool breeze to wash over Ukyou’s front for her to realize what had happened. Her eyes drifted down slowly, as though if she hesitated in looking upon her display, others would too. But she saw that it was just as she knew it would be. Her hands pulled her slashed top back over the exposed flesh, though the damage had already been done. Through tear-filled eyes she stared at Shampoo-kun, feeling even more betrayed than before from suffering further humiliation at what she thought were her former friend’s hands.

She drew one of her hands back, holding her top in place with the other. “You jerk!” she shouted as she slapped the stunned boy across the face.

Despite his suspicions, Shampoo-kun was shocked to discover that it had indeed been a girl he had been fighting. Had it not been for feeling the bound breasts, he would never have suspected that his opponent was really a girl; Ukyou’s act had been that convincing. And then there were the implications of what relationship this girl might have had with Ranma. Those two revelations froze him in place, allowing Ukyou to unleash a none too gentle slap to his face, one that he didn’t react immediately to. His hesitation allowed Ukyou to flee the scene, leaping over the school yard and into the streets beyond, bawling her eyes out the entire time.

Akane was one of the first to recover from the surprise. “I thought you said he was a guy.”

“He was,” Ranma-chan insisted. “Don’t you’d think I’d know a guy from a girl? Just how unobservant do you think I am?” The redhead paused in thought for a moment. “Obviously if Ukyou was a guy before, and is a girl now, then something must have happened to him.”

“Obviously,” Akane agreed dryly.

“And I think I know what it is,” Ranma-chan said triumphantly.

“What?” 

“He fell into the Spring of Drowned Girl at Jusenkyou, just like me.” Ranma-chan smirked at her genius at solving the question so quickly.

Akane wasn’t so certain. Yes, it made sense. Too much, actually. It seemed the answer was just a little too easy. There had to be a catch, there just had to be. “So what should we do?”

“Find Ukyou and let him know he ain’t alone in the world,” Ranma-chan declared. “But first, we got to rescue Shampoo.” She pointed at the cursed Amazon and the predicament he suddenly found himself in. As Ukyou’s true sex had come to light, the Furinkan girls quickly realized that since Ukyou was really a girl and not a boy, that meant the object of their affections was not gay. In their delirious joy, they leaped into the ring and onto Shampoo-kun, threatening to drown him in the impromptu sea of humanity. It was up to Ranma-chan and Akane to pull him out of the mess he was in and help them in tracking down the fleeing chef.

Ukyou was crying harder than she ever had in her life. Harder than when Ranma and his father had left her by the roadside. Harder than when the other kids made fun of her for being dumped by her fiancé. Harder than when her pet dog, Fluffy, had been electrocuted in that horrible fight with that large yellow rat that kept shouting ‘pika.’ (All such nasty little creatures deserved to die.)

How could Ranma have so brazenly humiliated her again? Wasn’t once enough for him? Did he get some perverse joy out of tormenting her? Oh, how she hated him, even worse than before. He was going to pay. She was going to make the man who had humiliated her suffer. Oh yes, suffer horribly, just like she had. It would take her time, but she’d come up with something. Something nasty, like, like feeding him poorly made okonomiyaki. Yes. That was what Ukyou hated more than anything in the world. Okonomiyaki was meant to be subtle, yet delectable. Something that would satisfy, yet leave a craving for more. But so many amateurs did it wrong, making the flavor too strong or too bland. It was like suffering through a little piece of hell every time she tasted the world’s most perfect food cooked so absolutely wrong. It was only justice that she should make Ranma suffer such horrors as well.

“I hate you, Ranma!” Ukyou shouted through eyes so filled with tears that she couldn’t see where she was going. Which was why it hurt so badly when she slammed into what felt like a brick wall. Or maybe a Caterpillar (the construction vehicle, not the insect, of course.) But whatever it was she had collided with, it had the effect of her knocking her down, leaving her sprawled out on the ground.

The brick wall, which was in fact nothing more than a martial artist (who was built much more solidly than most brick walls), was wandering around, trying to find where Ranma Saotome had run off to once again.

Ryouga barely registered the impact, and looked down to see who had collided with him. He saw that it was a person, a girl, to be specific. He could tell it was a girl, in spite of the men’s style of clothing she wore, because her naked breasts were showing. 

Naked breasts.

“ACK!” Ryouga covered his eyes as quickly as he could, pretending that he had seen nothing while still feeling a bit of blood leak steadily from both nostrils. That was all that he needed. The girl would realize he had seen her and probably hate him and call him a pervert and make him feel lower than a worm. It was all Ranma’s fault. If he hadn’t run away from the ice rink, then Ryouga would not have been wandering around trying to find him, and therefore would not have had the girl run into him and call him a pervert (which was going to happen any second now.)

Wait a minute. Hadn’t the girl been shouting about Ranma the moment before she had collided with him?

In a moment of daring, Ryouga peeked through his eyes to look at the girl, hoping he had given her enough time to cover up. As he had hoped, she was sitting on the ground, her hand holding her top together so he could only see a bit of flesh at the top. He was safe.

“Sorry about that,” Ukyou said, grateful that when she looked up, the boy she had run into had not been leering at her chest the way so many of those guys at school had. He had probably seen something, but at least he was trying to act like a gentleman. Unlike that jerk, Ranma.

“Umm, Excuse me, Miss,” Ryouga tried hard to forget what he had seen of her, the image of naked flesh threatening to superimpose itself on the chest of the girl he was speaking to. “Did you say something about a Ranma? Perhaps a Ranma Saotome?”

Ukyou looked at him in puzzlement. “Uh, yes. I did.”

Ryouga felt his temper start to burst. From the rapidly drying tears on her face, it was obvious the girl had been crying. And she knew Ranma. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Obviously Ranma had made this girl cry. “What did he do to you?”

Ukyou continued sniffling. Who was this stranger that seemed to know what had happened to her? And how did he know Ranma? Through her sniffles, she said, “He’s ruined me. He ripped open my top in front of the whole school and humiliated me, the jackass.”

The anger Ryouga felt quadrupled. “I always knew Ranma was the lowest of the low, but to do this. It’s unthinkable. What sort of monster forces himself on cute young women, ripping off their clothing and trying to… to… to do whatever it is monsters like him do to cute young women whose clothing he rips off. AAHH!” Ryouga punched through a nearby wall, envisioning Ranma’s face before it.

Ukyou finally managed to stop sniffling. At first it was at the awesome display of strength the strange boy had just demonstrated, but then something else he had said set in. He called her cute. Not once, but twice, meaning it hadn’t been a mistake the first time. No one had ever called her cute, except for some of the girls she had known (when they thought she was a guy), and they didn’t count because, well because they were girls. It only counted when guys called you cute. Okay, Tsubasa had called her cute, but he was annoying and didn’t really count either. So this was the first time anyone that mattered had called her cute, and she wasn’t sure how to react to it.

Deciding she was quickly getting nowhere, Ukyou stood up and began scuffing her foot, feeling embarrassed for some odd reason. She quickly brought her emotions back under control. “How exactly is it you know Ranma?”

“Let me tell you a story,” Ryouga said, and began informing her of exactly what had happened to him at the hands of Ranma. He told it all in the most graphic details that he could.

“But Ranma doesn’t have a pitchfork and horns,” Ukyou pointed out.

“Well, that’s all that the scum is missing,” Ryouga admitted.

Ukyou agreed, and told Ryouga her own version of the events that had led up to this moment in her life.

“Umm, do you think forsaking your femininity and impersonating a guy for the last decade was the right way to deal with Ranma dumping you?” Ryouga asked

“Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time,” Ukyou responded. Besides, there were some good benefits to acting like a guy. She didn’t have to put a lot of thought into her wardrobe. She didn’t have to deal with make-up. She didn’t have to put up with other girls complaining about silly things, like how thick their thighs were or how they went go on and on about guys. She didn’t worry about her weight and ate whatever she wanted to.  
And just useless and annoying things like that.

True, there were disadvantages too, like having to come up with excuses on why she couldn’t take gym (but she did get some free shows when she went into the guys’ locker rooms, not that she was a pervert or anything), making up stories about how she scored with girls, (though she was sure most of the stories the guys told were made up too. How many girls were THAT flexible?), and occasionally even being pressured by the guys into going out on dates with girls so they didn’t become suspicious about her true sexuality. It was then she learned the truth about girls; they were amorous creatures that continuously came onto guys and one had to literally fend them off with a spatula. She would never drape herself over some guy that way. It was just too creepy. The dating was easily the worst, but overall she felt the pros outweighed the cons.

Ryouga listened intently, then said, “What did the Ranma you fought look like?”

Ukyou gave him on odd stare. “Kind of tall. Good-looking. Long hair, wore it back in a ponytail that went halfway down his back. Oh yeah, his Japanese was shitty too.”

“Ha! Just as I suspected,” Ryouga shouted. “You fought the stand in.”

“Stand in?” Ukyou asked. Ryouga informed her of the switch Ranma and Shampoo had pulled. Ukyou’s anger suddenly came to include someone who now easily rivaled, if not surpassed, Ranma on her hate list. “So it was this Shampoo that sliced open my shirt and humiliated me in front of everyone.” Her grip on her spatula tightened. “Oh, she’s going to pay for that.”

Ryouga nodded in agreement. “Let’s work together. After all, there’s two of them, and if we fight them together we would stand a better chance of getting the real Ranma.”

Ukyou agreed. Oh, revenge was right around the corner. Especially since she now had an ally on her side for the first time in her life. 

And he thought she was cute, too.

“Man, I don’t have a clue to where he is,” Ranma complained as he, Akane, and Shampoo returned home. They had spent the better part of the day following school looking for the chef, but she was nowhere to be found. And now Ranma was hungry. Searching for Ukyou would have to take a backseat to more important things, like eating.

Upon entering the kitchen, Ranma saw the man he most wanted to speak to, at least after Ukyou. “Hey, Pop. You’ll never guess who I met today.”

“Oh, who?” Genma asked.

Ranma related his tale. The further he got into the story, the more his father seemed to become panicked and evasive. Knowing the man all too well, Ranma became increasingly suspicious.

“So why did Ukyou think we were going to take him along?” Ranma asked as he finished his tale.

A bright sheen of sweat broke across Genma’s brow. He mopped at it with a nearby dishtowel. “I really have no idea.”

Ranma began tapping his foot. “Pop, you’re holding out.”

A sad look crossed Genma’s face as he took a deep, sad breath. “The truth would hurt too much to tell, boy. Just try to help the poor girl…I mean boy out. But try not to believe anything she…I mean he might say. The truth has been no doubt been warped in his fragile little mind.”

Ranma considered badgering his father further, but let it go. It would be too much hassle to try to tear the truth out of him when there was another, easier way of discovering it: find Ukyou and ask him. At this point, Ranma would believe just about anything Ukyou had to say about the matter over Ranma’s father, including the idea that they were supposed to adopt the chef or something.

After raiding the refrigerator, Ranma set out to find Ukyou once again. He dragged Shampoo and Akane in tow, even though they had barely had enough time to eat anything, given how quickly Ranma had finished his own meal. As they began their search once again, Ranma began relaying a plan to his two companions on what to do when they finally had a chance to confront Ukyou again.

Two teams of searchers, one with an accurate sense of direction, set out in search of one another. By some stroke of luck, they managed to meet each other at exactly the halfway point from where each set out.

“Gee, that didn’t take long. I wonder if it’s good luck we found them so quickly, or bad?” Ranma commented as he saw that somehow, Ryouga had met up with Ukyou. Now there was the added problem of having to deal with whatever lies Ryouga had told the chef, although he probably told her about the truth about Ranma’s identity at least. That would save time. Still, Ranma was going to have to try to defuse the situation. Both Ukyou and Ryouga appeared ready for a fight, and Shampoo looked none too reluctant to involve herself either.

“What are you doing here Ryouga? This doesn’t involve you,” Ranma said.

Ryouga shook his head. “The heck it doesn’t Ranma. Ukyou told me everything. How dare you hurt her that way and allow that impostor Ranma to shame her in front of everyone like that. It’s not enough that you hurt me, but now you’re going around and hurting everyone else you meet as well. Oh, what a worthless piece of garbage you are, Ranma. For making both mine and Ukyou’s lives hell, you should… hey! Quit yawning!”

“Sorry,” Ranma said without a touch of sincerity. “It’s just that I thought I heard this whole speech before.”

“Ryouga’s told me all about you. You’re an even bigger jerk than I remember, Ranma,” Ukyou said as she swung her giant spatula in front of her.

That actually hurt Ranma slightly. “Hey, I don’t know what this guy’s told you, but believe me when I say he’s got it all wrong. He’s as messed up as his direction sense.”

“That’s not true,” Ukyou said. “No one can be as messed up as his sense of direction.”

“Hey!” Ryouga protested.

“Sorry, sugar. But I’ve only spent several hours with you, and it’s pretty obvious you couldn’t find your way out of a closet.”

“I can too find my way out of a closet!” Ryouga retorted. “I just have a bad tendency to end up in them when I’m trying to find other places.”

Akane decided now would be a good time to run into a nearby store, just like she and Ranma had discussed earlier. Hoping the quartet would still be talking until she retrieved what she needed from inside, she ran as fast as she could.

Ranma decided to bring the conversation back to the subject at hand. “Anyhow, Ucchan, there’s no need to feel ashamed or nothing about what happened to you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ukyou asked suspiciously.

“I know your secret,” Ranma answered.

Ukyou stared at him, dumfounded. “Of course you do. Everyone knows my secret. That jackass,” she pointed at Shampoo, who stuck her tongue out in response. “Let everyone know, and she is going to pay.”

“I don’t mean that one,” Ranma sighed. “I mean the other one.”

Ukyou gaped at him. “You mean you know about the time I poured liquid heat in Akio’s jockstrap because I found out he was slapping his girlfriend, Yumi, around?”

Ryouga, Ranma, and even Shampoo, all crossed their legs in sympathetic pain and winced. “No.”

“Then I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I don’t want to do it in front of him.” Ranma pointed to Ryouga. “It might embarrass you.”

“Oh, well that certainly cleared nothing up,” Ukyou held a hand to her head in exasperation.

Akane returned just at that moment, bearing a kettle or warm water in hand. Ranma accepted the offered container from her. “If I can’t do this any other way, then I guess I have no choice.” 

Without another word he hurled the contents at Ukyou, who backed away to avoid the hot water. Just as it was about to hit her, Ryouga leaped in front of her, umbrella opened to deflect the stream.

Once he was sure the contents of the kettle had been emptied, Ryouga folded the umbrella back up and pointed it at Ranma. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I will not let you harm one hair on her head. Ukyou’s already had to suffer far more misery in her life than any two people should have. Why, she’s almost suffered half as much as me. I will protect her with my life if necessary.”

Ukyou looked stunned at Ryouga proclamation. No one had ever talked about her in those sort of terms before. It made her feel odd inside. A good kind of odd, though.

Ryouga took a moment to try to figure out exactly why Ranma had hurled the water in the first place. Was it possible that he… no. Ukyou couldn’t have had one of those. If she had, she would have mentioned it to him.

Deciding the matter resolved to his satisfaction, Ryouga shouted, “Ranma, prepare to die!” and moved to attack.

“If that’s the way you want it, then fine.” Ranma had had enough of Ryouga’s messing up matters. If it hadn’t been for the lost boy, everything would have been taken care of by now. Ranma answered in kind and began fighting with Ryouga.

Shampoo moved to help Ranma, but found herself cut off by a spatula thrust. 

“So you’re really the guy that humiliated me,” Ukyou said with a wide smile. “I don’t know about all this curse stuff, but I do know I still owe you. And Ukyou Kuonji always pays her debts.” She swung her spatula and began attacking Shampoo in earnest. Shampoo pulled out her bonbori and retaliated in kind.

Akane looked at the scene of battle and sighed. Things were never going to be resolved if all everyone was going to do was hit one another. She swore she was the only one with any brains in the whole group. Rather than participate in the general melee, Akane picked up the kettle Ranma had discarded at the start of the fight and headed back into the store.

Ranma didn’t hold anything back in his fight with Ryouga, and was slowly and surely beginning to press an advantage against his opponent. Although it was still close enough that one solid blow could change the tide of battle. 

The fight between Ukyou and Shampoo was a little more even, especially since Ukyou was doubly enraged at her target after the day’s events. Shampoo reluctantly found herself admitting this was probably the most able-bodied female opponent she had faced (not counting Ranma) since becoming cursed back home. Of course, given Ukyou’s condition, perhaps ‘she’ should not have counted, either.

It was to that scene that Akane came out with her kettle of hot water. Ukyou was fully wrapped up in her fight with Shampoo. As for Ranma, he saw Akane and afforded her a wave, then planned his next action in a split second.

“Throw it up in the air!”

Akane wondered what Ranma was up to, but, trusting his judgment, threw the kettle high into the air between the two groups of fighters. Ranma faked an attack then jumped on top of Ryouga’s head. He used it as a springboard to leap high into the air, catching the kettle easily. Airborne, he saw that he had the perfect opportunity to get Ukyou, whose back was to him as she fought Shampoo. Taking advantage of the opening, he threw the contents of the kettle at Ukyou, hitting her full in the back. 

The unexpected splash startled Ukyou, making her spatula slip from her grasp as she yelled, “Hot!” and writhed slightly in pain. Shampoo backed off, allowing Ranma to land and approach the wincing chef.

“And now, here is the truth for all to see.” He grabbed Ukyou’s pinned together top and ripped it open to reveal…

… a nice set of firm breasts.

Ranma released his hold on her top “Ahhh! He didn’t turn back with hot water!” The rest of Ranma’s declaration was cut off by a vicious spatula blow to the head.

Ukyou burst out into tears again. “What are you? Some kind of pervert too?”

Akane felt her temper began to fray. “What is going on here?! Ranma, I thought you said Ukyou was a boy!”

“He was. He was,” Ranma insisted. “I don’t understand.”

Ukyou was seething in rage now. “What kind of stupid statement is that, you jackass? Of course I’m not a boy!”

Now Ranma was completely confused. “Haven’t you ever been to a magical training ground in China called Jusenkyou? You know, you get splashed with the water there and turn into whatever drowned in the pool? Hot water changes you back?”

Ukyou seemed to follow a bit of that. “You mean that curse thing you got? Ryouga explained that to me. No. I was never stupid enough to go to some cursed training ground. Come on, it’s cursed. Why would you want to go there and maybe get cursed?”

Ranma, Shampoo, and Ryouga all shifted uncomfortably from the assault of common sense Ukyou was wielding against them. But the effect didn’t last.

Ranma examined his old childhood playmate more closely. “So, if you didn’t get cursed with magic girl water like me, I guess you got one of those sex change things.”

Ukyou suppressed the urge to flatten Ranma’s head in again. “Of course not, you idiot! I just cross dress. I’ve always been a girl. Why else do you think our fathers engaged us?”

Slowly the words seeped into Ranma’s brain. “Always…girl…”

Very slowly.

“…fathers …ENGAGED?!” 

“You mean to tell me you didn’t know I was a girl?” Ukyou didn’t know how that was possible. She hadn’t forsaken her femininity until after she had been dumped by him. Up to that point, she had been a normal girl and very feminine. Once she had forsaken her femininity she had had to give up… had to give up… give up…

Okay, so she hadn’t really changed that much. She still pretty much dressed and behaved the same way she always had. But it was the principle involved.

“All right, so back then you might very well have mistaken me for a boy,” if you were completely unobservant and brain dead, Ukyou silently added. “But you at least had to wonder why your father engaged you to a boy, right?”

“I was never told about any engagement,” Ranma insisted.

“You’re father didn’t tell you?” Ukyou hated to admit it, but if Ranma hadn’t realized she was a girl, and hadn’t known a thing about the engagement, that went a long way to explaining a lot of what had just happened.

“I seriously don’t understand what is going on,” Ranma stated, wondering exactly how his father had gotten him into the mess this time. 

Ukyou began her story. “Look, when we were little, my father was raising me by himself. We wandered around a lot, and I didn’t really make a lot of friends. Anyway, I met you and we hit it off real well. Daddy was worried that, since I was being raised by a guy, I wouldn’t be very feminine and he thought I might not ever marry. So he offered to engage me to you. Your dad resisted at first, but when my father offered to throw in our yatai as a dowry, he relented. Then, after getting the yatai, you guys took off without me, you jackass.

“Everyone knew I got dumped and made fun of me. I vowed never to become a woman. To that end, I behaved just as a man would. I dressed, talked, and sounded like one. I also practiced the art of okonomiyaki combat until I could have revenge.” Ukyou’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Now I learn that my fiancé didn’t even know I was a girl, I got humiliated in front of the school, and my whole life has been one cruel joke.”

Everyone felt a pang of sympathy go through them at the end of hearing Ukyou’s story. 

Ranma was the first to break the silence. “Pop is so dead.”

“You can’t stick this one on me boy. You were the one who made the choice,” Genma said as he ripped off his clever disguise (consisting of a trenchcoat, hat, and fake Soun-like mustache). He knew following them and telling what had really happened was the only way he was going to get out of the mess that was really and truly not his fault. 

“What do you mean?” Ranma asked.

“I asked you point blank which you preferred: Ukyou or okonomiyaki. You chose okonomiyaki. See. It is not my fault.” Genma thought that cleared him of responsibility quite nicely.

He was the only one.

Simultaneously, Shampoo-chan, Ukyou, Ranma-kun, and Akane all buried their fists on top of Genma’s head.

“I was, what, six at the most and thought Ukyou was a guy?! What kind of decision could I make? You were the one that did it for the yatai!” Ranma shouted.

“And this was after you promised he would be engaged to someone in my family,” Akane said.

“That low, Pop.” Shampoo twisted her fist on top of his head more tightly.

“This is all your fault,” Ukyou considered smacking him in the head a few more times, with the spatula.

Ryouga however, was not of like mind. He allowed a battle aura to build up around him before breaking his own silence.

“This is all YOUR fault Ranma!” He leveled his finger towards the object of his rage. “If you had picked Ukyou, she would never have been hurt. Now you will pay.”

He pulled a bandanna from his forehead and hurled it at Ranma, who dodged nimbly out of the way. Instead of human flesh, the razor-sharp piece of cloth sliced through a fire hydrant directly in front of Ryouga. Rather than go for the umbrella strapped to his pack to avoid the stream, Ryouga froze, disappearing from view as the burst of cold water hit him squarely in the chest. Once the powerful flow of water stopped, all eyes saw that instead of a somewhat thick-headed young boy, there was a bat floundering in the middle of the street. 

Ranma was the first to put it all together. “So that’s what happened. He must have fallen into Jusenkyou too. No wonder he kept disappearing whenever he got doused with water. Poor guy, er, bat.”

High pitched squeals assailed everyone’s ears as Ryouga flew up and attached himself to Ranma’s face.

“Get this thing off me.” Ranma tried prying his fingers under exceptionally powerful wings, but Ryouga steadfastly remained.

“I’ll get it,” Akane and Shampoo said together as they aimed fists towards Ryouga’s unusual glomping attack. As the last two times it happened, Ryouga detached himself before the blows connected, though not in time for Akane and Shampoo to halt their fists. Both hit the center of Ranma’s face squarely.

“Not in the face!” Ranma shouted as he picked himself up off the ground.

Ryouga landed next to Ukyou, protecting her as only a bat could. Which was not really very well, if one stopped and thought about it.

Ukyou picked Ryouga up and held him gently. She turned to Ranma. “Can you get some hot water? Please.”

Ranma reluctantly poured the remaining contents of the kettle over Ryouga, who changed back to his human, and very naked form in Ukyou’s grasp. The sudden shift in weight caused Ukyou to fall forward, sending both her and Ryouga to the ground. It only took Ryouga a moment to realize his current state, and he quickly grabbed his clothes and put them on, though not before Ukyou managed to catch a glimpse of him. Not too bad. She’d seen better, but Ryouga definitely qualified as being a little above average.

“Make sure I’m in my clothes when you do that!” he shouted at Ranma.

Ranma ignored the complaint. “So, tell us what happened, Batboy.”

Ryouga scowled at Ranma, but decided to finally unburden his tale to the others. “Everything I told you about Ranma making my life hell was true. I just left out the fact that I stumbled into the training grounds of Jusenkyou while in my search for him. I had it on good authority that Ranma and his father had headed off to China. After a lot of searching and wandering around, I thought I had finally caught up to them at the cursed springs. Unfortunately, just as I was about to catch up to him, disaster struck. 

“I had just come out from some foliage and found myself at the edge of a small cliff overlooking the springs. I was still trying to get my bearings, when I noticed a shadow right above me. I looked up, only to see this multi-colored metal orb fall from the skies and nail me right between the eyes. I lost my balance and fell off the cliff and into the Spring Of Drowned Bat below. I was so confused by the change that I flew off. It took me a while to discover that it took hot water to change me back into a human. By the time I had figured it out, Ranma was long gone.”

Shampoo had listened to the story intently. As Ryouga got to the part about falling multi-colored spheres, she took a close look at her bonbori, remembering how the day she had first gotten cursed went. Her eyebrow raised slightly, then both weapons were behind her back in a flash. She attempted to look nonchalant by looking directly up to the sky and whistling, thereby gaining everyone’s attention.

Ranma turned his attention back to Ryouga. “So turning into an animal is pretty tough, huh?”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“Why do you keep flying into my face, though?”

Ryouga looked odd for a moment, almost as though he were trying to find the right words. After a moment, he said, “It’s weird. I think my echolocation system confuses my lack of direction sense. Instead of getting lost, I always get to where I’m going. I even tried to get lost once as a bat, but still I flew in the right direction.”

“But if you could have found me at any time, why did you take so long to locate me?” Ranma asked.

Ryouga turned angry again. “Because, you idiot, I despise being stripped of my humanity! Do you know how degrading it is to know that there’s something you could do only as an animal instead of a man? Besides, no one likes bats. People are always trying to knock you out of the air, scream in terror, or exterminate you. And do you know how difficult it is to find hot water as a bat? Now if I was some kind of cute animal, like an otter or piglet, it would be different. That I could have dealt with, but now I’m just a kind of flying vermin no one likes.”

That answered a few questions. Still, Ranma felt he had to point out, “It ain’t my fault you got that curse, so quit blaming me for it.”

Ryouga wasn’t mollified in the least. “I was looking for you at the time, so it is.”

The two began arguing again. Ukyou shook her head, trying to figure out how she might defuse the situation, when she thought about Shampoo’s attempt at being nonchalant. The chef moved quietly, sneaking up behind the Amazon to see what was in her hand. Upon seeing the bonbori, and remembering what Ryouga had said earlier, she darted in and snatched one of them out of Shampoo’s hand before the Amazon realized what was happening.

Ukyou moved next to Ryouga and showed him the bonbori. “Did that falling sphere look something like this?” She handed it to him for a closer look.

It appeared right to Ryouga’s eyes, but there was only one sure way of finding out. He held it high above his head, looked up, then released it, allowing it to smack into his face. 

“Ow!” he said. “Yes, it not only looks exactly like it, but it felt like it too.” He shot Shampoo an accusing glare. “Is this yours?”

Hesitantly, Shampoo nodded her head.

“And you are really a girl?”

Again, she slowly nodded her head.

“Great.” Ryouga’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “I can’t beat up a girl. So much for revenge.” He let the bonbori drop to the ground.

Ranma felt relieved. At last everything had been explained. “Now that that’s settled let’s call it a day. What do you say?”

In answer, Ryouga took a swing at Ranma that he barely ducked.

“What the hell are you trying to hit me for?” Ranma shouted.

Ryouga kept his fists clenched. “Just because I no longer have a grudge against you doesn’t mean you get off that easily. There’s still the matter of you hurting Ukyou. She may be too much of a lady to beat you up, but I’m not.”

Ranma felt like slamming his head into something out of frustration. Anything except Ryouga’s fists. “But that wasn’t my fault!”

“No excuses! Fall Saotome!” Ryouga swung again. Ranma decided the terrain wasn’t to his advantage, so he elected to run, Ryouga staying hot on his tail.

Shampoo watched their retreating forms. She gave a sad shake of her head. “Boys fight over silly things. Yes?” Hearing the light sound of a whistle behind her, she instinctively ducked, barely avoiding a spatula thrust aimed at her. She turned in shock. “What Stupid Spatula Girl think she doing?”

Ukyou kept her spatula up. “Just because I no longer have a grudge against you doesn’t mean you get off that easily. There’s still the matter of you hurting Ryouga. He may be too much of a gentleman to beat you up, but I’m not.”

“But that not Shampoo fault!” she insisted.

“No excuses! Fall Shampoo!” Ukyou swung again. Shampoo also decided the terrain wasn’t to her liking, so she elected to run, Ukyou staying hot on her tail.

Akane soon found herself standing alone, with only an unconscious Genma as her companion. It figured. They all high tailed it out of there and left her to clean up the garbage. She hoped they all bludgeoned each other into unconsciousness. Sighing, she grabbed Genma by the collar and proceeded to drag him back home.

As she made her way back, Akane did allow herself to smile. At least the day hadn’t been boring.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Special thanks to   
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
L. Ang


	6. The Ranma of the Opera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In honor of the Bard, this was written in script format. Also the first few chapters were originally in script and they were rewritten after the series was over, so with chapter 7 on there will actually probably be a drop in technical quality as this was the first thing I ever wrote and my skills were...lacking. I got better with time, so it's only uphill from here.

[Writer’s notes] Allow me in advance to apologize for the writing in this (And future chapters) of Shampoo ½. You see the previous five chapters of Shampoo ½ (as of 3-13-01) are actually rewrites done after the series was over. In fact, S ½ was the very first fic I ever did, and my writing talents were so minimal that I actually wrote the first 7 chapters in script format before working up the courage to try my hand at prose. However I never found the time to redo chapter 6 here, which means it’s still in prose. Now, due to the fact it heavily involves a play, and relies heavily on humor, hopefully leaving it in its current format won’t be too much of a strain to the reader. 

Also this means that you’ll notice a drop off in the technical quality of the fics after chapter 7 (which is also a rewrite, my first). However, due to the fact this was my first fic, and I had a LOT of room for improvement (as you shall soon see), the quality improves with each chapter, and the intent behind what I was trying to write is there, just not as enjoyable as the later chapters (or at least I hope ^_^) Since there were people that have managed to slog their way through the whole thing, I assume the prose isn’t completely unbearable, and might even go so far as to be enjoyed. So hopefully despite this drop off in quality, you’ll continue to read this and future chapters of Shampoo ½. Enjoy.

Ranma ½: Presents  
Shampoo ½

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don’t own these characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she leased the rights to. 

The Phantom of the Opera is owned by Andrew Lloyd Webber or some other guy. Not me.

Chapter 6  
The Ranma of the Opera

We see the scene opening on the streets of Nerima. Akane, Shampoo-chan, and Ranma-kun are walking down the street. Akane leads the way.

Akane: They say this new place is something else. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse

Ranma: Well, I’m so hungry I could eat an elephant.

Shampoo: Shampoo as hungry as Pop.

Akane and Ranma: (Together) You win.

The trio approach a street diner with a steady flow of customers going in and out. Ranma looks up and sees a name on the awning above the entrance. It has UK-CHAN’S written on it. But that is a recent change. Beneath the K we see a C has been crossed out.

Ranma: (Thinks) Nahh. Couldn’t be.

The trio enter the restaurant and sit down at an empty booth. Ranma sits with Shampoo and Akane sits across from Ranma. A waiter comes up.

Ryouga: What would you li…(His voice trails off.)

All three stare at him in surprise. He is in his standard yellow and black outfit with the addition of an apron and head set.

Ranma: What are you doing here? 

Ryouga: I work here. What are you doing here?

Ranma: We came to eat.

Ukyou: (From behind the counter where she is cooking.) Ryouga, wait on them.

Ryouga: But they…

Ukyou: Don’t worry about it. It saves me the trouble of running them down later.

Ryouga: (Growling) What would you like?

Ranma: Menus, you baka!

Ryouga: (Hands them some menus.) Now what would you like?

Ranma: Some time to decide.

Ryouga: (Growls) Fine. (Wanders off.)  
The three keep one eye on their menus and one eye on Ryouga. He seems to be doing just what he said he was doing, waiting on tables. Eventually he comes back to their table.

Ryouga: Ready yet? (He looks ready to fight.)

Ranma: Why do you have that stupid headset on? You don’t have a drive-thru.

Ryouga: None of your business.

Akane: (Trying to play peacekeeper) What would you recommend?

Ryouga: (Thoughtfully) Probably the okonomiyaki.

Ranma: Since this is an okonomiyaki restaurant, and there is nothing but okonomiyaki on the menu, do you think you could be a little more specific?

Ryouga: (Shouts) I have heard enough out of you!

Ryouga balls his fist up and draws it back to strike. Ukyou quickly jumps over the counter and puts a restraining hand on his shoulder.

Ukyou: Go get the order for table twelve.

Ryouga: But…

Ukyou: Just do it. Please.

Ryouga gives a cold stare to Ranma, bows his head to Ukyou, and makes his way over to the counter to pick up the tray of food. Ukyou stands next to the booth were the trio sit.

Ukyou: There are some ground rules I want to run by you two, (indicates to Ranma and Shampoo) before things get out of hand. I am hoping you will agree to them.

Ranma: Go on. We’re listening.

Ukyou: Since we all live in Nerima now, I think we can all agree that we want to have things in our lives other than revenge. (They nod.) Good, so I want to make some rules so we can at least try to live normal lives most of the time. First, we all need an education, so no fighting in school. Agreed? (They nod again.) Second, I have a business to run, so no fighting in the restaurant. In return, we won’t attack you in your home. (A third nod.) Once we are outside the zones anything goes. I’m not saying I’ll attack on sight, but I want that option. (Another nod.) Good. I’m glad that’s settled.

Ranma: How you goin’ to get Bat Boy to go along?

Ukyou: I already got him to agree, so there isn’t any problem there. Can you keep the bimbo in line?

Shampoo: Shampoo not bimbo!

Ukyou: All right, all right. Can you keep that thing on a tight leash.

Ranma: (Puts a restraining hand on Shampoo) Shampoo will keep her word.

Customer: Miss can we have our food now?

Ukyou: Ryouga should have…(Looks around and sees no Ryouga.) Not again! (Takes out a walkie-talkie from her uniform and turns it on.) Come in Ryouga, over.

The scene cuts to Ryouga carrying a tray of food inside a floral shop. He is looking around for something. The customers are staring.

Ryouga: Now where is table twelve? 

His thoughts are interrupted by a voice in his headset.

Ukyou: Come in Ryouga, over.

Ryouga: I’m here. Go ahead.

Ukyou: Where are you? (He gives a description of where he is.)

The scene cuts back to Ukyou.

Ukyou: It sounds like you are in the floral shop down the street. Here is how you get back. (She gives him directions.)

Ranma: That isn’t the way back to here.

Ukyou: If it’s the one thing a learned in the short time I have known Ryouga, it is that if you give him a direction to go in, he goes the opposite way. Now, what did you guys want?

Ryouga finds his way back to the restaurant, still bearing the tray of now cold food. Ukyou is behind the counter once again.

Ryouga: Sorry. I don’t know why that keeps happening.

Ukyou: Don’t worry. I’ll make the signs on the tables bigger. Here is Ranma’s, Akane’s, and Shampoo’s order. (She points out which item is whose.)

Ryouga: (At the table.) Here is yours Akane. (Hands it over to her nicely.) Here is yours Shampoo. (Hands it to her nicely.) And here’s yours Ranma. (Puts the plate on top of his head. Ranma’s quick reflexes are all that prevents the dinner from ending up on his lap.

Ranma: You call that service? You can forget a tip.

Ryouga: I wouldn’t expect a tip from a deadbeat like you. (Walks off to wait on another table. Ukyou prevents him from walking into the bathroom.)

Ranma: Hey Ukyou. Why did you change the name of this place?

Ukyou: (Too quickly) No reason.

Ryouga: She couldn’t very well name it after the man who hurt her so badly. Isn’t that right Uk-chan?

Ukyou just blushes and nods.

The trio dig into their meal. 

Akane: Ummm. This is delicious!

Ranma: Yeah. So is mine. It was a good idea coming here.

Shampoo: (Gagging) This taste like wallpaper paste.

Ukyou: (Who had been watching Shampoo intently, hears her comment and smiles.) So that’s where the rest of it went. Good call. (Smiles, then holds up a can of empty wallpaper paste so Shampoo can see it.) I apologize. Let me make you a new one.

Shampoo: No thanks. Would rather eat Akane cooking than Stupid Spatula Girl’s.

Akane: (Angrily) Just what is that supposed to mean?

Ranma: What she’s trying to say is that there is a difference between making batter out of wallpaper paste, and making a batter that tastes like wallpaper paste.

Akane: Why you! RANMA NO BAKA! (Throws a punch at Ranma that is blocked by Shampoo.) 

Shampoo: Stupid Spatula Girl not want us fight in store.

Akane just grunts at Shampoo and eats the rest of her meal in silence. Ranma has the good sense to remain quite as well. The trio leaves Uk-chan’s and goes home. Akane starts sneezing as they go back.

Ranma: Sounds like you’re getting a cold.

Akane: No way. I haven’t had one in years. Someone is probably talking about me. That’s all.

The scene cuts to the next day. We see Akane is laying in her bed with Kasumi sticking a thermometer in her mouth. Nabiki, Ranma-chan, and Shampoo-kun are in school clothes waiting for Akane. Kasumi takes the thermometer out of her mouth and gives the verdict.

Kasumi: (To Akane) You have a temperature of 101 degrees. You are staying home.

Ranma-chan: Lucky dog.

Akane: (Weakly) I don’t feel lucky.

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo take notes for Akane. No worry.

The three head off for school. Akane lies in bed under the covers. 

Akane: I got a bad feeling about today.

We cut to school where we see several female students are walking down one of the halls.

Girl #1: I heard Ranma was talking to you yesterday.

Girl #2: (Gets a dreamy look in her eyes.) He did. 

Girl #3: What did he say?

Girl #2: He said, “Stupid girl no use cattle prod again.” Then he belted me right to the front step of my house. (Sighs.)

Girl #4: I wish he would do that to me.

Girl #1: (Stops in front of a bulletin board. Reads something on it.) OH NO!

The others hear her declaration and see what it was about. They read the papers on the board as well.

Girl #2: I didn’t realize it was that time of the year.

Girl #4: See who the male lead is.

Girl #3: (Closes eyes) I know who it’s going to be. (Looks) Yep. It’s him.

Girl #1: Has anyone signed on for the female lead yet?

Girl #3: (Reads) Nope. And you know what that means.

Girl #2: Why don’t we just get Akane Tendo to do it again this year?

Girl #4: She’s sick and not here today. If no one has signed up by the end of the day he’ll just kidnap someone like he did the two years before we got Akane to do it.

Girl #1: Those two never were right again. I went with Yuka to visit a friend at Tomobiki. She saw that alien princess zap some guy and she freaked. Nervous breakdown right on the spot.

Girl #4: Who can we get that would be stupid enough to sign up? 

It is, of course, at this moment that Ranma-chan walks by.

Girl #3: (Calling out) Oh Shampoo. Guess what? We have a favor to ask you.

Ranma-chan: (Irritated) I ain’t putting any kind of drug in Ranma’s food.

Girl #1: It’s not about Ranma. There is this play the school is having, and we think you would be the best for the part.

Ranma-chan: Me? You gotta be kidding.

Girl #2: No. I agree you would be the best choice. You are one of the best actresses I have ever seen.

Ranma-chan: (Thinks) You don’t know the half of it.(Out loud) I don’t have time for that.

Girl #4: You get extra credit points in art for it.

Ranma-chan: (Thoughtfully) I do need a couple more points to pull my grade up.

Girl #1: Akane did it last year, but I bet you could do a better job than her.

Ranma-chan: (Throwing her chest out.) Darn right I could. In fact, to prove it, I will sign up. Give me a pen. 

Girl #3 gives her a pen and Ranma-chan writes down her name for auditions the next day.

Ranma-chan: (With a smug look on her face.) I’ll show them. Thanks guys. 

Girl #1: Hey, thank you.

Ranma-chan walks off.

Girl #2: What a dope. 

Girl #4: She will never forgive us for what we just did to her.

Girl #3: Better her than us.

The girls walk away. None see the small figure that walks up to the female casting sheet.

Happozai: So Ranma is doing Juliet. Wait until she meets her Romeo.

The next day we see Ranma-chan and Akane walking down the same hall of Furinkan.   
Ranma-chan: You sure you should be coming back to school. 

Akane: Ub course. My nobe ib just stubbed ub.

Ranma-chan: (Hiding a smile) What was that?

Akane: (Louder) My nobe ib stubbed ub.

Ranma-chan: What?

Akane: (Shouting) My nobe ib stubbed up! My nobe ib stubbed ub! BAKA!

Ranma-chan: I almost forgot to tell you, (smugly) I am the lead in the school play.

Akane: I didn’b know ib wab thab time ob year. (Pauses) Waib a minube, whab play ib it?

Ranma-chan: Ummm, Romero and Jewels I think.

Akane: Do you mean, Romeo and Jubuiet?

Ranma-chan: Yeah, maybe it was.

Akane: Do you know whab it ib about?

Ranma-chan: Probably a gemologist or something.

Akane: (Smacks Ranma in the head.) No stoobid. Ib’s aboub a lube story.

Ranma-chan: A lube story? It’s about cars then.

Akane: Not lube, lube, LUBE. (Makes kiss noises with her mouth) Kibbeb and stubb.

Ranma-chan: A love story? ALL RIGHT. I get to kiss the girl. (Starts dancing around.)

Akane: (Flatly) You are the girl. (That came out all right.)

Ranma-chan: Don’t be stupid. I’m a gu…(Realization sets in) Oh no!

Akane: I wonder who the male lead ib. (Reads the sheet) HAHAHAHA!

Ranma-chan: What’s so funny?

Akane: Your true lube. He ib gonna be bo habby.

Ranma-chan: (Reads) OH NO! Not Kunoe

Kunoe: (From out of nowhere, grabs Ranma-chan.) Shampoo, my Goddess. I see that you are becoming a thespian to bring yourself closer to me. I contend that we need not wait to take the stage to consummate the passion which stirs within us. We may date now.

Ranma-chan: I’d rather date Mousse as a panda than go out with you. (Punches Kunoe into a wall. To Akane.) There has got to be some way out of this.

Akane: I’ll do the bart.

Ranma-chan: Would you?

Akane: Yeb. Leb’s go.

The two set off to go to the theater attached to the school. They arrive in the large but rather darkened auditorium.

Akane: A worb of warning. The director ib kind of ecbentric.

The overture to Phantom of the Opera suddenly blares out from hidden speakers. The figure from the end of last scene descends from a guide wire from the ceiling to the stage. Still wearing stylish black suit. Cape with red interior and Director written on the back. Black hat on the head and half mask on his face. He makes it halfway down without a problem when the wire’s descent changes into a freefall. The director hits the ground hard. The music stops.

Director: (Shouting into the rafters.) You insolent fools. You were supposed to set me down gently.

Stagehand #1: Sorry.

Ranma-chan: This guy is nuts.

Akane: He comes highby recommended. He ib baid to habe worked with Andrew Bboyd Webber.

Ranma-chan: The car salesman?

Akane: No stubid. The playwright.

Director: (Brushing himself off.) Greetings! You have come for the auditions, have you not? (Goes up to Ranma-chan) You must be Shampoo and (Surprised) Akane Tendo, so nice to see you again.

Ranma-chan: You know this guy?

Akane: (Proudly) Yeb. I wab the lead in the school play labt year.

Ranma-chan: What was it?

Akane: Suber Ninja Girl vs. The Muck Monbter.

Ranma-chan: A role you were born for.

Director: (A smile can be seen from the lower portion of his face not covered by the mask.) She was such a natural she required no additional training. Since you did such a good job last year, you will be allowed to go first Akane.

Akane: Bank You. (She picks up a copy of the play laying around and reads.) Romeo, Romeo, bhere for art bou Romeo.

Director: Could you do that again? (Akane repeats. The director sighs and shakes his head.) Your skills have clearly atrophied since last year. I am afraid I cannot give you the part.

Akane: (Pleading) Bub ib’s jusb a cobe. I’bb be ober it boon.

Director: There is no time to wait. Shampoo, you win by default.

Ranma-chan: But I changed my mind.

Director: (Ominously) Once you have entered the stage there is no way out but to go forward. The show must go on. Look around you. (Waves his hand throughout the auditorium.) There is no one else. Besides, if you refuse I will fail you in art.

Ranma-chan: You can’t do that!

Director: I have the influence to do so. Just not the desire. You will accept, yes? (Ranma-chan reluctantly nods her head.) Good. See you tomorrow. 

The music blares forth once again as the director runs into the darkness of the stage laughing maniacally.

Ranma-chan: There has got to be some way out of this.

Ranma-chan does not notice the depressed expression on Akane face.

Later in class Ranma-chan is still trying to figure a way out of the predicament.

Ranma-chan: It ain’t like I mind bein’ in the play. It’s just there ain’t no way I am kissing Kunoe, or any other guy for that matter. There has got to be some way out. Too bad everyone knows Ukyou’s a girl, or I could ask her. Wait a minute. (Turns to Shampoo-kun) Shampoo could you do me a really big favor?

Shampoo-kun: Un-huh.

Ranma-chan: Would you try out for the lead in the school play? I gotta be in it as Juliet and there ain’t no way I’m kissing a guy. But since you’re really a girl, it’s O.K.

Shampoo-kun: (Pauses for a moment with an unreadable look in his eye.) Yes. Shampoo is willing to do.

Ranma-chan: Great! You’re a lifesaver.

The next day the director is preparing the stage for the auditions. He is immersed in his work when his thought are interrupted by a perverted voice.

Happozai: You can relax now. Your Romeo is here.

Director: (Incredulously) You wish to audition? Are you a student?

Happozai: I am if it means a love scene with a Juliet by the name of Ranma…no, wait, I guess that’s Shampoo here.

Director: Very well. You may try out.

Happozai gets on the stage and starts saying his lines, poorly.

Happozai: Now when do I get to practice the kissing scene with Juliet.

Director Actually I would like you to read one more scene. Could you do it over there? (Indicates an area on the stage with a big X on it.)

Happozai: Sure. (This time is even worse than the first.)

Director: I am afraid that that atrocity, which you insist is acting, does not qualify you to star in a kindergarten rendition of Itsy Bitsy Spider. I must give you the boot. 

The director touches a button on his belt which triggers a giant twenty foot high boot to descend from the rafters to drop right on Happozai, who is crushed flat. A hook then comes across the stage and takes the mess off. 

Director: So is the fate of those that would act badly. I hope it does not come to that with today’s duo.

Later we see the boot is gone but the X remains. Kunoe, Shampoo-kun, Akane, and Ranma-chan are here to watch the auditions.

Kunoe: Saotome. How dare you try to steal a kiss from the innocent lips of my beloved Shampoo. I would smite thee if I thought there was some obscure chance that you could somehow outperform me in acting.

Ranma-chan: (To Shampoo-kun) Ranma, I know this a bit late, but are you any good at acting?

Shampoo-kun: Ranma not know. But willing to try. 

Kunoe: He cannot even refer to himself in anything but the third person. I shall win easily. (He starts laughing maniacally. A sweatdrop forms on the back of Ranma’s head.) 

The music begins and once again the Director appears out of nowhere.

Director: It is time for the auditions. Kunoe, you may begin.

Kunoe poise is confident and supreme. His skills at sounding like a Shakespearean actor are brought to a head.

Director: (Impressed) That was excellent Kunoe. I have every bit of confidence that the role of Romeo will be in good hands this year. Your turn Ranma.

Shampoo-kun: (Steps forward) Romeo think…(Clears throat nervously.)

Ranma-chan: (Looks up to the sky). I am so doomed.

Director: Before you begin again, please stand on the X over there, would you?

Shampoo-kun walks over the X and begin to clear his throat again. As he finishes his posture suddenly changes and he exudes an air of confidence. He begins to read in perfect Japanese. As he finishes everyone stands with their mouths agape at Shampoo-kun’s performance. He has acted on a level none thought possible. It is perfect. The Director’s hand moves away from the button on his belt.

Director: That was easily the most magnificent performance I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I have a great feeling about this play. This may be the one to let the world acknowledge my greatness once again. (To everyone) Enough for today. It is decided. Ranma Saotome is Romeo.

Kunoe finally manages to react.

Kunoe: But you cannot. I was born for the role.

Director: Ranma is better. You shall be the understudy in case something happens to Ranma.

Kunoe: (Thinks) That I can guarantee. 

Later in the day the Director is ordering his stagehands to prepare some props.

Stagehand #1: Sir. Where do we but the tumbleweeds for the shoot out scene?

Director: There are neither tumbleweeds nor shoot outs in Romeo and Juliet.

Stagehand #2: (To #1) Right you dope. Those are for My Fair Lady.

Director: (Shakes his fist) All of you leave before I kill you. 

Everyone scatters. Several moments later a group of about forty girls come into the auditorium. 

Director: What are you doing here?

Girl #1: Sir. We are here for the part of Juliet.

Director: Auditions were yesterday. Why didn’t you come then?

Girl #2: Ranma wasn’t Romeo then.

Director: (Shakes his head.) It doesn’t matter. Shampoo already has the role. I have a good feeling about her.

Girl #3: There must be some way we can get Ranma to kiss…I mean win the role of Juliet.

Director: (Jumps up. His voice suddenly booms out dramatically from the speakers.) If a disaster beyond all imagination were to occur to Shampoo. Then I would use an understudy. (Speakers cut out and the Director sits down.) But it would have to be something truly terrible. Dismemberment, decapitation, dysentery , that sort of thing.

Girl #4: (Smiling) I think something can be arranged.

The next morning we see the girls in class are talking amongst themselves. Shampoo-kun, Akane and Ranma-chan are not present yet. Chisa comes up to the door and walks up to the desk where Godai-sensai is sitting.

Chisa: Sir. There is a telephone call for you.

Godai-sensai: Who is it?

Chisa: (Panicking) You’re wife?

Godai-sensai: (Thinks) I wonder what Karinin-san… I mean Kyoko could want. I can’t believe I still think of her as karinin-san. I wonder if it was about last night. Neither of us got much sleep. Heh heh.

Godai-sensai gets up to leave with thoughts of last night in his head. So lost in thought is he that he misses the door and walks into the wall. 

Godai-sensai: I can’t believe I still do that either. (Walks out.) 

Chisa: I thought he would never leave. (To the girls) The target is coming.

All the girls in the class except Ukyou, pull a variety of weapons from concealed spots on their person. They line up next to wall by the door ready to attack Ranma-chan when she comes through the door. They hear footsteps coming. All tense up to attack. Suddenly the wall next to them shatters, burying them in the rubble. Shampoo-kun has entered the room in his own unique way.

Ranma-chan: I told you to let us open doors.

Shampoo-kun: Sorry. (Looks down and notices the girls buried in the rubble.) Wonder what stupid girls up to now. (Steps on several as he enters the room.)

After class Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun go to rehearsal. Shampoo-kun leads off in the readings for the Director. He has nothing but good things to say about Shampoo-kun’s job. Ranma-chan’s turn comes. It is an uninspiring performance.

Director: (Sounding concerned.) Next line.

Ranma-chan’s next line is as bad as the first.

Director: I was afraid of this. I was fortunate last year that Akane Tendo was such a natural in her role. You, however, need my special acting training. The rest of you continue.

The Phantom of the Opera starts blaring out over the speakers as the Director quickly grabs Ranma-chan and hoists her over his shoulder. She is so surprised that she doesn’t get a chance to resist as he laughs maniacally and runs down a secret passage in the stage which leads to the sewers under Nerima. There is a waiting boat which he throws Ranma-chan into. He then jumps in, grabs a pole, and starts pushing them down a passage. Ranma-chan finally recovers.

Ranma-chan: What are you? Some kind of pervert. 

Director: No. We are going to a secluded training facility. There I will train you to become a magnificent actress.

Ranma-chan: In the sewers?

Director: Forgive me, but old habits die hard.

Ranma-chan: How come the music is still playing. (The Phantom of the Opera can still be heard clearly.) 

Director: I had them install speakers down here to set the mood.

Ranma-chan sighs. After a little while they arrive in a chamber recently added to the sewer. The music finally stops. Ranma-chan gets out of the boat and looks the place over. It is made if stone and is musty, but out of the raw sewage. The Director gets out of the boat and walks over to Ranma-chan. 

Director: Wear this. (He snaps a metal bracelet on Ranma-chan’s wrist.)

Ranma-chan: What’s this for?

Director: It will help you. Now speak for me my angel of acting. (He hands her a copy of the play.)

Ranma-chan says her lines with little enthusiasm. 

Director: Say it with more feeling. 

He pushes a button on his wrist. About a thousand volts of electricity shoot through Ranma-chan’s bracelet and into Ranma-chan. Her hair sticks straight out as the current passes through her and we can briefly see her skeleton in the flash.

Ranma-chan: (After recovering) Whad’ you do that for?

Director: It is part of the special conditioning.

Ranma-chan: I’ll show you special conditioning. (Walks over to hit the Director.)

Director: That’s no way to talk to your acting coach. (Pushes the button again. Same results.)

Ranma-chan: (Thinks) Great. I can’t even get close to him.

Director: Next line. 

Ranma-chan says something wrong this time. The Director pushes the button again.

Director: Don’t lose hope. We will work on this even if it kills you.

Ranma-chan: I wonder what odds Nabiki would give on that.

Director: That wasn’t in the script. (The button is pushed again.)

Much later in the evening Ranma-chan finally shows up at the dojo. We see Ranma-chan’s hair is sticking straight up from all the voltage. She has a distant look in her eye. She knocks on the door, Kasumi answers.

Kasumi: I love what you’ve done to your hair.

Ranma-chan: (With a far off glassy stare.) Thanks. (She goes into the house where Akane and the TV are and sits down.)

Akane: What kept you?

Ranma-chan: (Still in a far off voice.) Special direction.

Akane: Figures. You get some kind of inside deal. What’s that on your wrist? (Points to bracelet.)

Ranma-chan: (Still in shock.) A devise to make me a better actor. It shocks you when you screw up.

Akane: How many times did you get shocked?

Ranma-chan: I heard him complaining about having to hook up to the Tokyo main power grid.

Akane: Why don’t you give up and let me do it?

Ranma-chan: No.

Genma: (Comes into the room.) Ranma. You’re late for practice.

Ranma-chan: (Distantly) Sorry. (Gets up to go into the backyard.)

Genma confronts his son. It only takes one powerful blow which he doesn’t even try to defend. Ranma-chan ends up in the drink. 

Genma: I was afraid of this. The play seems to be sapping your strength boy. Why don’t we take this bracelet off. (Tries to pry it off.)

Ranma-chan: (Starting to come around.) Wh…what. No! Don’t! 

Too late, Genma tries to pry it off and causes both of them to receive a thousand volts. 

Ranma-chan: (Muttering.) Tried that. Tamper proof. (Passes out.)

The scene is the next day at rehearsal. The focus is on the dozens of girls, reading over manuscripts. Kunoe and Shampoo-kun are fighting in the background, running back and forth as one gets the advantage over the other.

Kunoe: Have at thee Saotome. (Runs him off screen swinging the bokken.)

Shampoo-kun: (Comes back chasing Kunoe off screen with bonbori in hand.) You go away Stupid Sword Boy.

Girl #1: Think we should help Ranma?

Kunoe: (Comes back bearing a giant pole arm and chases Shampoo-kun off screen the other way.) Your lips will never touch those of my love goddess.

Girl #2: Nah. It’s just Kunoe. He can handle him.

Shampoo-kun: (Returns bearing a running chainsaw and hockey mask. He chases Kunoe off screen.) Shampoo not want to kiss you.

Kunoe: (A gout of flame preludes his return. Shampoo-kun runs away from a flame thrower wielding Kunoe.) The very idea that you could out act me is enough to make me cry, if it wasn’t so laughable.

Stagehand’s Voice: (From off screen.) Quit playing with the props for West Side Story

Shampoo-kun: (Returns bearing a hand held unknown object. He uses it to block the flames until Kunoe runs out of fuel, then smacks him in the head with it, knocking him unconscious. Looks at the object.) Akane lunch good for something. 

Girl #3: Where’s Shampoo?

Girl #1: (Enviously) She’s getting special training from The Director.

We see the lights dim and a loud scream from somewhere underground.

Girl #2: Lucky dog.

The scene opens to the Tendo house. Ranma-chan is staring off into space sitting next to Nabiki. Her hair is sticking straight up once again. Akane enters the room.

Nabiki: Hey Akane, this is so neat. Watch.

Nabiki uses a taser she has in her hand on Ranma-chan. (Zap) Ranma-chan says a line from the play. (Zap) Says another line from the play.

Nabiki: Talk about well conditioned. I wonder if I can buy the method off of that director.

Akane: Stop that Nabiki.

Nabiki: Don’t worry. It’s on low voltage. He doesn’t have enough brain cells left that I would fry too many more of them.

Akane: (Takes the taser.) Ranma has had enough electricity for one day.

Nabiki walks off disappointed. Akane looks sympathetically at the charred Ranma-chan.

Akane: Why don’t you just let me take the part?

Ranma-chan: (Distantly and staring off into space.) No. I gotta see this through.

Akane: But you can’t take much more.

Ranma-chan: I gotta do better. I can do this.

Akane: (Tearfully) You are so stupid. 

Akane ups the voltage on the taser and shocks her. Then she runs off. Ranma-chan continues to sit there unmoving. Kasumi comes into the room, cleaning. She unplugs one of the lamps. 

Kasumi: Ranma, hold this would you.

She places the lamp in Ranma’s hand and starts to clean. The bulb comes on when Ranma grasps the base.

Kasumi: Oh, how nice. You want to help us with the electric bill. Ranma, you are so thoughtful. 

She unplugs the television., a radio, a microwave, and the spotlight on the top of the roof, and gives all the cords to the motionless Ranma-chan to hold. All the appliances come on.

The scene changes to the next morning before school starts. We are in the homeroom and see several girls fooling around with Ranma-chan’s desk.

Girl #1: Are sure this is going to work?

Girl #2: Yes. The chemistry club promised me this contact poison will make Shampoo sick as a dog for a week. 

She pulls out a brush and coats the entire desk with the poison. The girls then sit down and giggle to themselves. This incident has not gone unnoticed by Ukyou.

Ukyou: (Thinks) I can’t let them do that to Ranchan. Shampoo, yes, Ranma, no.

Akane, Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun, race into the room. They are followed by Godai-sensei. They quickly run to sit down at their desks. Ranma-chan is about to put her hands on it when Ukyou slides her combat spatula under the legs and flips it in mid-air. It flies over to the two girls who poisoned the desk, who catch it reflexively. They then fall over and pass out.

Godai-sensei: No napping in class. Report to the principle’s office. (They don’t move.) Someone take them down to the principle’s office. (Two boys get up and carry the girls down to the principle’s office.)

The scene changes after school at the Tendo house once again. Ranma-chan comes into the house smiling. Her hair is only sticking up a little. Akane sees her grin.

Akane: (Suspiciously) What are you so happy about?

Ranma-chan: The Director says I’m getting better. He shocked me only half the time he usually does. I think I’m getting used to the electricity too. 

Akane: (Dryly) Great. 

Ranma-chan: Why are you so angry?

Akane: (Snapping) I have no idea what you are talking about.

Ranma-chan: You’ve been acting really mean since I got this part.

Akane: (Yelling) I have not! I don’t care what you do! Win an Academy! Fry! I don’t care! (Tromps off into the kitchen where Kasumi is cooking.)

Kasumi: (Stops cooking) What’s wrong?

Akane: (Snapping) Nothing’s wrong. Why does everyone keep asking me if anything’s wrong?

Kasumi: It’s about the play isn’t it.

Akane: (Sits down and speaks in a more even tone) I want to be Juliet. I have always wanted to be Juliet. Now that jerk is. He’s not even a girl. It just isn’t right. And worse yet, he acts like he wants the part now. 

Kasumi: (Sits down as well.) Maybe he does.

Akane: He asked me to take his place. It’s not my fault I had a cold. I should be Juliet. I want it so bad, I would kiss Kunoe if I had to. He’s just doing this to spite me. He knows how much I want the part and he wants to keep me from it.

Kasumi: Ranma is not that way.

Akane: (Growling) Yes he is. You just don’t know him like I do.

We see Ranma-chan sitting in her room reading a book by lamplight. She is holding the reading light by the base. We can see the lamp is not plugged in. There is a knocking on the door. Ranma-chan lets Shampoo-kun in.

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo want know if Ranma want practice lines. Play coming up soon.

Ranma-chan: Yeah. That’s a good idea. Let’s go up on the roof where we can have some privacy.

The two head up to the roof and start rehearsing their lines. Shampoo-kun can see that Ranma-chan’s acting has improved a great deal. They eventually get to the marriage scene. 

Ranma-chan: (Finishes her line) Ummm. This says we kiss.

Shampoo-kun: Hiya. (Shampoo-kun draws closer.)

Ranma-chan: (Smiling) You aren’t gonna give me a Kiss of Death or nothin’, are you?

Shampoo-kun: (Chuckling) No, Shampoo not do that.

Ranma-chan: (More seriously) Well, are you sure you want to go through with it? I mean, after all, I will be a girl.

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo know. Not stupid. (Draws closer.)

Ranma-chan: And you will be a guy.

Shampoo-kun: (Stops moving forward.) Ranma not want go through with it?

Ranma-chan: (Quickly) No. I mean yes. (Calms down.) What I mean is, we gotta do it. (Proudly) It’s for the show.

Shampoo-kun: (Proudly as well) Shampoo like play. Like acting. Shampoo want to do to even if Ranma girl.

Shampoo-kun moves closer again. Ranma-chan notices Shampoo-kun’s breath on her face. She looks into the boy’s eyes.

Ranma-chan: (Voice starting to sound far away.)You know, I never noticed it before, but your eyes don’t change like the rest of you.

Shampoo-kun: (Voice starting to sound far off as well.) Ranma eyes no change either.

Their lips are about an inch away, and still getting closer, when they are interrupted.

Demon form of Soun: (Shouting) WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU TWO ARE DOING?

Both of them are so frightened they fall off the roof and land on their heads in the backyard. Genma is sitting there, on the porch, with a copy of the play in hand.

Genma: (To the two still upside down.) Ranma, it says here you have to kiss Romeo.

Ranma-chan: (Picking self up) Yeah. So?

Genma: Romeo is a man.

Shampoo-kun: (Picking self up.) Shampoo Romeo. So not really boy.

Genma: Still, Tendo and I think it would be a far better idea for you to be Romeo and Akane to be Juliet.

Ranma-chan: It don’t work that way. Even if I could somehow convince the Director to change, I’ve been studying Juliet’s lines.

Shampoo-kun: And Shampoo want be in play.

Genma: Well then, you should at least rehearse with Akane. It will give you practice. Try this part. (Points to a scene with kissing.)

Ranma-chan: Why would I want to rehearse kissing with an uncute tomboy like that?  
A dresser drops from a second story window and lands directly on Ranma-chan.

Akane: (Looking down from the window.) I am glad you would much rather kiss a guy than me you pervert! I wouldn’t let your lips near mine anyway.

Ranma-chan just groans under the dresser.

Shampoo-kun: So much for practice.

The day of the play finally arrives. In the hours before the actual opening we see the Director is having his stagehands set up the stage.

Director: Begin.

The crew moves at lightning speed, finishing the job in a matter of seconds.

Stagehand: What do you think?

Director: Magnificent…(We can see a ship that looks like it is sinking into the stage and a giant iceberg prop) …if we were doing Titanic. However, we are doing Romeo and Juliet.

Stagehand: There aren’t any icebergs in Romeo and Juliet?

Director: (Angrily) NO! NOW GO GET THE RIGHT THINGS! (The crew move like lightning once again.)

The play finally opens. We see a full house, including Genma and the Tendos waiting for the curtain to rise. Backstage Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun arrive and move to get into costume. Kunoe is waiting with bokken in hand. 

Kunoe: Now is the moment of truth Saotome.

Shampoo-kun: Ranma tired of fighting Kunoe.

Ranma-chan: Let me handle this. (Slides up to Kunoe.) Close your eyes and I will give you a big surprise my darling.

Kunoe: (Grinning obliviously) You called me darling. Very well. 

He closes his eyes. Ranma-chan grabs a rope and ties it around Kunoe. She then throws the rope over a rafter and hoists him up. He finally opens his eyes.

Kunoe: What is the meaning of this? Foul Saotome. How dare you take advantage of the moment of passion Shampoo and I were about to share to prevent us from becoming one. (To Ranma-chan) Let me down dearest.

Ranma-chan: Maybe later, like after the play. (To Shampoo-kun) You’d better get changed.

Ranma-chan goes to her dressing room. As she enters the room she sees about a dozen girls waiting for her. 

Ranma-chan: What are you all doing here?

Girl #1: (Closing door) We just wanted to tell you to break a leg, Shampoo. (The girls pull hidden weapons.) Literally. 

Several moments later we see the Director checking on his Juliet. He knocks on the door and Ranma-chan comes out wearing her acting garb. The Director can see the carnage littering the room and a dozen girls with broken weapons littering the ground.

Director: What happened? 

Ranma-chan: They wanted to wish me luck. (Closes the door behind her.) Let’s get going.

The play opens up well. The Phantom of the Opera blares out overhead as a spotlight suddenly shines on the Director from his place in the rafters high above the stage. He acts as though being pursued and rushes down to his chair in front of the stage. The curtain rises and the first scene unfolds. Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun are performing like professionals. The Director speaks to a stagehand beside him holding a camera.

Director: You are certain you are taping this?

Stagehand #1: Hey. What could go wrong?

Director: You could use the wrong film like last time.

Stagehand #1: It could happen to anybody.

Director: You could hold it the wrong way like the time before that.

Stagehand #1: Both ends looked the same.

Director: You could try using masking tape on the set like you did the time before that.

Stagehand #1: I just misunderstood what you meant when you said “tape the play”.

Director: A monkey would have done a better job than you, dolt. Nothing had best go wrong this time. I feel this is the production I have been waiting for.

Stagehand #1: Don’t worry. Nothing can go wrong.

The play goes beautifully. Everything is fine until the balcony scene. 

Ranma-chan: (From the balcony.) Romeo, Romeo, Where for art thou Romeo?

Shampoo-kun is about to speak up when he is interrupted by a newcomer on stage: Kunoe.

Kunoe: I am here my pig-tailed love goddess Juliet. Fear not. This foul impostor Romeo will never touch your lips. (He draws his bokken and attacks.)

The Director starts to move to stop the newcomer when he halts. He then slowly sits back down.

Director: What improvisation. Two Romeos battling it out for the right of Juliet’s hand. Now this is acting.

Shampoo-kun draws his prop sword and says his line.

Kunoe continues the line as he swings at Shampoo-kun who blocks with his sword. They continue that way, with each one saying a line when they swing. Ranma-chan inserts her lines when needed. Surprisingly all actors are performing flawlessly despite the action. Shampoo-kun appears to be evenly matched with Kunoe.

Ranma-chan: Wonderful. Kunoe is such a great actor, he has fooled himself into believing he can beat Shampoo. (Hears a sound behind her.) What’s that?

Ranma-chan sees a saw cutting from underneath, working its way across where the balcony attaches to the back of the stage. She barely has enough time to jump before it comes crashing down on top of the two girls that were sawing it. As Ranma-chan lands she says a line. Capt. Ai then appears, cartwheeling onto the stage.

Capt. Ai: Ranma’s lips are mine Shampoo. Pom-pom attack. (Tiny explosives start firing out of the pompom.)

Ranma-chan dodges out of the way. She senses something above her and barely has time to get out of the way of a falling sandbag. She looks up to see a girl had cut it loose.

Director: (Unable to see the girl from his position. He speaks to Stagehand #2) Why didn’t you secure those before the start?

Stagehand #2: They are secure sir. We attached them all to this rope here. 

He unties the rope to show the director. Fifty sandbags fall down on the stage simultaneously. Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun dodge out of the way. Kunoe and Capt. Ai are not so fortunate. Both are knocked out by falling sandbags. Ranma-chan starts to breath a sigh of relief when a suit of armor on the stage attacks with its halberd.

Ranma-chan: What the?

Malia: (In armor) Nothing personal Shampoo. But I will be the one to kiss Ranma.

Ranma-chan: In your dreams. (Kicks Malia away.)

Director: (Shouting gleefully) Now this is a play.

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun fight off all other attackers, never missing a line nor sounding badly. The only scenes that are messed up are the ones in which Romeo and Juliet are supposed to kiss. The sheer number of girls attacking at those times prevent them from actually kissing lest the timing of the play be thrown off. Eventually the final scene approaches with Romeo standing over Juliet’s coffin. Shampoo-kun says his lines and is poised over Juliet when both he and Ranma-chan notice all the attackers, including Kunoe have gathered to for one final assault.

Kunoe: Soatome, we will stop you.

They charge as a group. Ranma-chan starts to sit up when the Director finally steps in. 

Director: (To the charging group who aren’t paying any attention to him.) As much as I appreciate the enthusiasm with which you have performed, Romeo must kiss Juliet at least once. 

He touches a stud on his belt which activates two huge trapdoors in the stage. Everyone charging falls into the pit below. Ranma-chan lays back down and Shampoo-kun hovers over her once more. Just as he is about to bend over he feels a powerful tugging on his long hair. Despite all his resistance, his head is slowly bent backward away from Juliet. He turns his head over enough to see it is Soun and Genma who are pulling back.

Shampoo-kun: What you think you doing?

Soun: (To Shampoo-kun) I could ask you the same question. I take you under my roof and you repay me with treachery.

Genma: (To Ranma-chan) Boy, how dare you try to kiss another woman when you already have a fiancee. 

Ranma-chan: Geez Pop. It’s just a play. It ain’t for real.

Director: I said they will kiss. (Pushes a stud on his belt and the twenty foot boot drops on Genma and Soun, flattening them.)

Shampoo-kun: Now where were we?

Shampoo-kun bends over again and is nearly struck by Akane’s fist as she buries it in Ranma-chan’s face. He holds his head in disgust.

Akane: (To Ranma-chan) I can’t believe you would stoop this low.

Director: I am reluctant to move against one who performed so admirably in a production of mine. Perhaps I will not take action against her.

Ranma-chan: (Talking through a fist) What do you mean? 

Akane: (Practically crying) I wanted this part for myself. I have always dreamed of being Juliet, ever since they made me play Romeo back in grade school. And now you’re taking away that dream. Why are you doing this to me?

Ranma-chan: (Knocks away her arm and sits up to yell in Akane’s face.) Why does everything always gotta be about you? What about my feelings? Maybe I didn’t want to do this at first, but now I do want to do it. I finally discovered something I’m good at besides martial arts. Sure, maybe it took a couple million volts, but Shampoo, Kasumi, Mr. Tendo, even Pop and Nabiki think I’m really good. Well, I had to pay Nabiki for her honest opinion, but it was honest. (More softly) Don’t you understand? That’s why I have to see this through. Not just because it’s a challenge, but because I worked hard at it, and I enjoy it. I gotta do it for me.

Akane: (Softly) It really means that much to you? (Ranma-chan nods her head) Fine. 

Akane quietly runs out of the building, tears flowing from her eyes. Ranma-chan looks softly at her fleeing form. Kasumi gets up from her place in the audience, bows before Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun and rushes out to catch up to Akane. Ranma-chan lays back down and Shampoo-kun hovers her once again.

Stagehand #1: I feel like I should try to stop them.

Director: (With a look that could kill even through his mask.) Don’t even think about it.

Shampoo-kun and Ranma-chan look around for anything that could stop them again. Except for a sudden case of the bubonic plague, there is nothing.

Ranma-chan: (Quietly) Well this is it.

Shampoo-kun (Softly) You sure you want do this? We could pretend again.

Ranma-chan: No. The audience would realize it was fake. Besides, you know what the Director would say, “The show must go on.” 

Ranma-chan relaxes back again. She looks a little scared. Shampoo-kun looks a little nervous as well. Shampoo-kun finally starts to bend forward again. Both pucker up and seem to visibly relax as though they have made up their minds. Their lips are now no more than a centimeter apart.

Off to the side of the stage, we see two stagehands next to a detonator box with wires leading from it to the stage underneath.

Stagehand #3: You think it’s time?

Stagehand #4: I guess so.

Stagehand #3: You sure there’s supposed to be an explosion at the end?

Stagehand #4: I don’t know what difference it would make if there wasn’t.

Stagehand #3: Sounds good to me.

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun are about to kiss when he pushes down on the detonator. We see two huge explosions on both sides of the stage, shattering both ends. The middle, where Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun are folds like a piece of paper and both fall into the hole that is made by the collapsing stage. The dust starts to settle.

Director: Tell me you got that all on tape.

Stagehand #1: (Smiling) We got it. (Pats the tape player.)

The Director grabs the recorder and examines it.

Director: The lens cap is still on.

Stagehand #1: (Still smiling) Of course. I didn’t want the lens to get dirty.

The Director begins strangling the stagehand until he realizes someone else might have recorded the play. He starts making his way through the crowd in search of a tape. At the bottom of the hole in the stage, Shampoo-chan and Ranma-kun are sitting at the bottom of the debris. A hot water pipe has burst and it is pouring all over them.

Ranma: Figures. I wear a dress and get splashed with hot water. We’d better leave before someone sees us.

Shampoo nods in agreement and both make their way to the secret passage in the sewers and come out in the middle of a park. They are both dirty and unkempt. They start to make their way home side by side.

Ranma: Well, in the last week I have been electrocuted, beaten, attacked, nearly poisoned, and used as a battery. (Shampoo looks hurt at Ranma.) And you know what? (Shampoo shrugs.) I wouldn’t change it for the world. Doing that acting stuff was fun. (Ranma gives Shampoo a big grin, then it fades. He looks down at the ground.) I’m just sorry I dragged you into it.

Shampoo: (Jumps in front of Ranma to show him the big grin on her face.) Shampoo enjoy too. Not ever do anything like that in village. All Shampoo do is fight. If Ranma had no asked, then Shampoo not know how fun acting is. And acting with Ranma make Shampoo happy too. So no frown for Shampoo when Shampoo so happy.

Ranma: (The grin returns to his face.) All you did was fight too, huh? I think we got more in common than either of us realize. 

They walk a ways when Ranma starts laughing.

Shampoo: Why laugh Ranma?

Ranma: I just realized how ironic this is. The whole point in me asking you to try out was so I could kiss you. That was the one thing we never did.

Shampoo starts to open her mouth to say something when Ranma continues.

Ranma: It don’t matter though. I enjoyed working with you more than I would have with anyone else. No matter what Pop and Mr. Tendo might have done if we had kissed. (Turns to her.) Thanks for being there for me.

Shampoo closes her mouth and smiles back at Ranma. They start walking again. After a few moments she looks back at Ranma and starts humming a tune.

Ranma: What is that?

Shampoo: Just some song Shampoo learn from Director.

Ranma: It’s catchy. 

After a few moments he picks up the melody and hums along with her as they continue along. Two people necking off the path look to see the newcomers as they pass.

Man: That’s sweet. Two crossdressers walking together.

Girl: They make a cute couple. I wonder what tune that is.

Man: I think it’s from a gaijin play. It’s called “All I Ask of You.” 

Epilogue 1

The scene is the Tendo household some weeks later. Nabiki rushes into the room with a soda pop bottle in hand. Everyone else is already gathered around the television.

Kasumi: Hurry Nabiki or you’ll miss it.

Nabiki: (Sits down in a chair.) I’m here. This better be good. 

Announcer: And now for this special announcement. A volcano suddenly erupted in Hawaii today. Disaster was narrowly avoided, however, when an unidentified girl and her pet panda rescued the citizens of a small town from the encroaching lava flow. 

The scene cuts to a Kodachi in a sarong, bikini top, and lai, on the back of a panda with glasses. The panda is running with a cart trailing behind it. He is moving at a good speed even though a bunch of people are in it. They are barely ahead of a lava flow. Kodachi is using her ribbon to grab people and throw them into the back of the cart as they speed by.

Kodachi: OHHOHOHOHO!

Announcer: And now we return to the Tony Awards. The next presenters for the category for Best Play are last years co-winners of the best actor award for their work in Porgy and Bess. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Bulk Bogan and Mr. T-Rex.

We see a huge gentleman with a massive frame under his suit and a line of gold hair around his skull. He is balding everywhere else. His partner is smaller, but we can tell under his suit he has a massive frame as well. He is black with a mohawk.

Bulk Bogan: (The huge one, excitedly) First off, I want to tell all the Bulkamaniacs who missed the Bulkster and Mr. T-Rex this year, that we are returning to the stage this year. We are going to be in the upcoming musical adaptation of Thelma and Louise. 

Mr. T-Rex: (The mohawk one) I pity the fools that have to act against us next year.

Bulk: Now for the presentation of the award. (He pulls out an envelope.) And the winner for Best Play is… 

He suddenly tears off his jacket and shirt and starts flexing for the crowd. He then tears open the letter the same way he ripped off his shirt. He pulls out the letter and hands it to his partner.

Mr. T-Rex: The Furinkan High production of William Shakespeare’s “Romero and Jewels.” (He and the Bulkster look at one another.) Must be one of his more obscure works.

The Phantom of the Opera suddenly blares on the speakers at the auditorium. The Director descends from a wire from above the stage. He lands gracefully and runs to the podium. He tears the letter out of Mr. T-Rex’s hand and reads it.

Director: (To self) Those insolent fools. They misspelled Romeo and Juliet. The stagecrew will pay for this folly. (He steps to the microphone) I would like to thank the Tony Award Committee for acknowledging my greatness. I knew from the beginning that this was the production to get me the recognition I deserve. And I have a special note of thanks to my Romeo and Juliet. As for the rest of you in the audience, I have but one thing to promise, and I know my Romeo and Juliet will join me in this endeavor. If you thought this was great, just wait until you see what we do next year.

Everyone at the Tendo household facefaults.

Epilogue 2  
We see a boat pull to the shore from a river in Nerima. Two young girls, about fourteen, one with red hair and one with green, disembark from the boat. The green one bears a trident. The red one has a staff. They step in front of Cologne, who is waiting for them on shore. The two bow.

RanRan: (<> In Chinese) 

LinLin: 

Cologne: __


	7. Severing the Ties That Bind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cologne recruits some help to bring back the wayward Shampoo. And Kasumi has a talk

Prologue

The old crone stood off to the side of the walkway in the park, her staff  
cradled in the crook of her arm, holding an open book in her hands. To the  
occasional passerby it appeared she was casually reading a book. The  
passers-by were wrong. There was nothing casual about her reading. The book  
was written in Chinese and entitled "The Laws of Joketsuzoku." Cologne  
found the passage she was looking for and read:

It has come to the attention of the Joketsuzoku, that due to the nature of  
the Jusenkyou curses, cures are difficult to employ. It is believed to be a  
side effect of the magic that the recipient of the curse cannot simply walk  
over and immerse themselves in the appropriate pool of drowned human,  
since we have yet to discover anyone that has accomplished this despite the  
fact it could be done. Bearing this in mind we can now discuss the most  
dangerous of the Jusenkyou pools (to the tribe), Nanniichaun (Spring of  
Young Drowned Man.)

Laws concerning Nanniichaun:

In the earliest days of Joketsuzoku, many of the Amazon warriors believed  
there was an advantage to being able to use a more physically powerful male  
form. This was used with alarming frequency despite the social problems  
involving half of the Amazon warrior population suddenly turning into men  
whenever they got wet and disrupting the very basis of our matriarchal  
society. That alone almost destroyed the tribe, not to mention the two  
generations it took to recover from the physical complications that came  
about from its use. Because of these two reasons, the tribal council  
unanimously decided Nanniichuan would be forever forbidden from use by the  
tribe. Breaking this law is one of the highest offenses possible. If any  
Amazon is changed by Nanniichuan, for any reason, she must immediately turn  
herself over to the village and stand for judgment before the tribal  
council. The guidelines concerning punishment are as follows, (This is  
assuming a cure cannot be immediately obtained. As mentioned before, this  
is extraordinarily rare.)

1: The afflicted may voluntarily kill themselves, preferably before the  
council, in order to atone for the dishonor of allowing themselves to be  
tainted by Nanniichuan. If the offender chooses this, all marks of dishonor  
to the individual and the family, concerning the immersion, are forever  
stricken from the eyes of the tribe and council. (This is the recommended  
course of action.)

If the offender does not kill themselves they can then be:

2: ...exiled by the council. They are forever branded an outcast and female  
progeny cannot become Amazons. (Male offspring, however, can marry into the  
tribe despite the dishonor.) The family of one who chooses exile over  
killing oneself is considered having a mark of grave dishonor against them  
for raising one who is unwilling to give their life for the honor of the  
tribe.

3: ...they may be executed anyway. This is STRONGLY recommended in cases of  
voluntary immersion, attempted escapes from justice, and any signs the  
stricken is unrepentant or shows an acceptance of the curse. If the accused  
attempts to run she may be executed on the spot for unwillingness to comply  
with the law.

*Exceptional Circumstance Rule*  
A pardon can be given if there are exceptional circumstances to the  
receiving of the curse. In all our history only one case has met the  
necessary criteria for a pardon. The case is as follows:

900 years ago a band of Amazons, including the matriarch, were captured by  
an army of the ruling dynasty of the time. A young Amazon went, alone and  
unaided, to Jusenkyou and voluntarily immersed herself in Nanniichuan. She

then impersonated a guard and managed a daring breakout of the prisoners,  
including the matriarch, from their captors. Though grievously wounded in  
the escape, the warrior survived. Upon returning, the warrior then asked  
for a trial to be held immediately for her crimes. Her obvious willingness  
to take responsibility of her actions, combined with the fact she acted in  
the best interest of the tribe at great personal risk, made for a unanimous  
decision by the council to grant a pardon. It should be noted that she was  
immediately cured of her affliction upon completion of the trial, lending  
credence to the theory that the curses have a purpose, and that no one can  
have a cure until the curse is done with them. This is just a theory.

Cologne closed the book and sighed,

"The things one must do to uphold honor."

Ranma 1/2: Presents  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 7

Severing the Ties That Bind

All C+C is greatly appreciated  
You can contact me at: sommer

Shampoo 1/2 now has several homes. There is Azatlan's at:

~

Bloodblades at:

tokyo/towers/5920

And Slashley's at:

.

Standard disclaimer:  
I don't own the Ranma 1/2 characters. They are owned by the Goddess  
Takahashi and whomever she leased the rights to.  
Project A-ko: owned by someone else.  
Doctor Who: owned by the BBC (I think)

What's gone on before, (or what you need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the  
beginning, The Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou and began to spar, not  
realizing that Shampoo and Mousse had already began a duel there as well.  
One mid-air collision, and quick dunking in Spring of Young Drowned Man  
later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. [Ranma-chan=  
female. Shampoo-kun= male. Enjoy.] Shampoo elected to travel with Ranma to  
Japan and ended up briefly engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up,  
Ranma became engaged to Akane. On the first day of school, water and  
confusion mixed resulting in everyone thinking Ranma-chan was Shampoo and  
Shampoo-kun was Ranma. Last chapter, Ranma-chan got blackmailed by  
Furinkan's deranged director into being Juliet in a play. Ranma-chan talked  
Shampoo-kun into becoming Romeo so he wouldn't have to kiss a guy. After  
electro-shock acting lessons, incompetent stagehands, and attacks by  
everyone to cripple Ranma-chan, the play went on, becoming a success. At  
the end of the chapter we learned that Cologne had returned and summoned  
RanRan and LinLin to Japan to "help" with their big sister...

Indicates Chinese

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Part I

Severing the Ties That Bind

Akane and Shampoo walked through the park on what most would've considered  
a typical, if somewhat humid, day. The weather was just enough to keep most  
people indoors, yet both of the girls felt the need to be outside despite  
the conditions. 'Not nice' weather was hardly the sort of thing to keep  
aspiring martial artists inside.

They had walked for about half an hour when Akane broke the silence first.  
"Don't you just love days like this?"

Shampoo just nodded her head.

Akane continued, despite the silent response, "So, it's been several months  
now. What do you think of Japan?"

Shampoo seemed lost in thought as she finally spoke, "It very nice.  
Especially like Tendos for helping Shampoo. It not home, but no place is."

Akane's tone changed from the conversational one to a more apologetic one.  
"I'm sorry about the way I acted during the play. I didn't mean to hurt  
you, I was mad at Ranma."

Shampoo turned to Akane, slightly irritated, "Ranma just doing part. Should  
no be angry with him."

"Whatever." Akane didn't sound convinced as she looked away from Shampoo.  
"So, what was kissing him like?"

Shampoo's response was curt, "Shampoo no kiss Ranma. Too busy fighting.  
Then everything explode."

"What about after?"

"Shampoo not kiss Ranma after. Shampoo only try kiss Ranma for play." Her  
tone became more irritated. "Why ask so many questions?"

Akane continued staring off to the side, her face away from Shampoo. "No  
particular reason."

Satisfied the youngest Tendo was not going to press further, Shampoo and  
relaxed and the duo continued their walk. They covered little additional  
distance before spotting someone neither wanted to see.

"Greetings, Granddaughter," Cologne said formally. She was in the middle  
of the path, standing on her staff and obviously waiting for them.

Akane dropped into a fighting stance. "Great. She's back."

Cologne gave Akane in amused smile, then continued, focusing once more on  
Shampoo. "It is time to go back, Xian Pu. I command it."

Shampoo gave a hurt expression. "And then what, Great Grandmother?"

"We will try to cure you of your...condition."

"And if we fail, what then?" Shampoo asked. "Do I throw myself upon my  
sword in order to beg for the forgiveness of the council?"

"If it becomes necessary. What other choice is there?" The matriarch's  
tone became more commanding. "I have trained you to be our next leader.  
One of the first rules I taught you is that we are not above the law. How  
dare you fail me this way! I thought I raised you better than that!"

Shampoo remained unmoved. "I cannot go back. I can solve this problem if I  
have more time. I'm sorry."

Cologne scowled. "So you refuse?"

"I have no choice," Shampoo answered softly.

As she finished her declaration two figures burst from the shrubs, weapons  
drawn, and raced out directly into the path of both Shampoo and Akane.  
Shampoo immediately recognized them as her Amazon 'sisters', RanRan and  
LinLin, and panicked.

"What are you doing here?" And why were they in Japan? Surely her great  
grandmother had not brought them just for her.

The girls looked at Shampoo, expressions of pain on both their faces.  
RanRan was the first to speak, "I don't believe it, Xian Pu."

LinLin continued, picking up where her sister left off. "Neither do I. I  
thought the Elder must have been mistaken when she said you refused to obey  
her order to go home."

RanRan continued, the girl finishing her sister's thoughts. "But now we  
see it's true. You disobeyed her right before our eyes. You must have  
committed some terrible crime to hide here in Japan."

That surprised Shampoo. "You don't know what I did?"

"The Elder did not see fit to tell us. Listen. If you come with us now,  
maybe they'll let you off easy," LinLin began speaking more softly, her  
pain evident. "You're our big sister. We have looked up to you almost all  
of our lives. You're the idol for all the girls our age." LinLin's look  
was almost pleading as she watched for Shampoo's reaction.

RanRan voice matched the pleading of her sister. "We want to follow in  
your footsteps. You are the strongest and bravest warrior and you're going  
to lead the village. You've never disappointed anyone. We always considered  
it a great honor that you gave us such attention. Everyone else is jealous  
of us."

It was LinLin's turn. "But now you risk throwing it all away because  
you're afraid of coming back. That's not the Xian Pu we know. The one we  
know is strong and not afraid of anything. The Xian Pu we know would give  
beat up anyone that would even suggest she was a coward. Please, come back  
with us. Face your punishment like an Amazon. Don't throw away your  
honor."

Shampoo shook her head. The two girls couldn't understand. They were too  
young and foolish, though as Shampoo thought that she suddenly remembered  
her great grandmother describing her that way as well. She reassured  
herself that there was a difference, even if she couldn't say exactly what  
it was. "It's not my fault. I didn't want it to happen. I don't want to  
die because of some stupid accident."

"What accident?" RanRan asked. "Did you kill Mu Tze? He was a pig, and  
deserved to die for trying to make you his wife when he was so weak and  
unworthy. I don't know why you didn't cripple him years ago for the way he  
constantly harasses you!"

Shampoo's voice became much softer as an almost painful look entered her  
eyes, "Even Mu Tze doesn't deserve death for what he did to me. He wasn't  
unworthy. I just didn't love him."

LinLin was visibly confused, "Love? What difference does that make? You'll  
marry a strong man,. That's what all the warriors want, and since you're  
the most powerful you will marry the strongest. You're very lucky. RanRan  
and I will get weak husbands compared to yours."

Shampoo wondered how they could speak that way. Love had a very important  
role in life. How could they not understand? "There is more to a husband  
than strength."

RanRan's look changed from confusion to disbelief. "What are you talking  
about? Strength is everything. It is what makes an Amazon what she is.  
Nothing else matters besides honor and strength. That is why you have to  
come back. For honor. Show that you are strong. Face your punishment."

Tears of anger started forming in Shampoo's eyes. "Even if the punishment  
is wrong? I am still the same person I was since... before the accident.  
Everything I was, that made me what I am, is still the same. That has not  
changed. I should be judged for what I am, not by my appearance, not for  
being what others expect of me." She prayed they would listen to her  
words. She wasn't certain if she could bring herself to fight them.

Her hopes were fleeting as RanRan started to become angry, confused at  
Shampoo's behavior. "That is not for you to decide! The council will judge  
you. No matter what the judgment is, it will be the right one. That is what  
makes Amazon law so special. It is always right. Look, if they choose death  
for you, LinLin and I would be honored to be your seconds."

Shampoo eyes widened in surprise. "You sound almost enthusiastic about  
helping me to die."

"We would be saddened by your death, but happy to carry out the law."  
LinLin added soberly. "It is our way. That's what makes us so much better  
than everyone else. We are willing to do whatever it takes to make our  
people stronger. There is no room for weakness, like the one you are  
demonstrating to us now."

RanRan's voice rose to an angrier level. She pointed accusingly towards  
Shampoo. "You say you have not changed, but that is a lie. Before you left  
you would never have even thought for a moment of doing the things you do  
now. You speak in defiance and of love, as though those were important  
things in life. You sound like a weak outsider, and nothing like the big  
sister we held most dear. You have changed, Xian Pu. You are weak and a  
coward. Her tone changed to that of a command. "Come back to China.  
Now!"

Shampoo shook her head in disbelief. Why were they turning on her like  
this? In the past they had nearly worshipped the ground she walked on,  
always trying to be more like their 'big sister'. Yet both were acting like  
she was some kind of enemy. "I will not. I have done nothing wrong."

"Please." LinLin was almost inaudible as she pleaded with Shampoo.

"No."

LinLin lowered her trident and slashed it across the palm of her hand.  
Slowly she squeezed her palm until blood dripped to the ground. Tears were  
held back as she forced herself to say words she never believed would cross  
her lips. She was going to lose one of the most important things in her  
life. "For your actions this day. For the defiance you show to our elder  
and leader. For the cowardice you show in your unwillingness to go back  
home and accept whatever judgment the council would give you. For all these  
crimes, you are my sister no longer. This I swear on my blood as an  
Amazon."

RanRan drew her belt knife and made the same vow with as much pain as her  
sister had. LinLin brandished her trident in Shampoo's direction.

"Dead or alive, you come with us now."

Akane had listened intently and followed none of the speech. Seeing LinLin  
motioning with her trident, Akane decided that she had stayed in the  
background long enough. Finally she spoke up and let the others know she  
was there. "How many times do I have to tell you people she is not going  
back to China?"

RanRan's attitude changed to that of a lethal predator. Now she was  
confronted with someone she cared nothing about. "Soft Japanese girl get  
hurt if stand in way of Amazon justice. Go run away home."

Akane became indignant at that. How dare the little girl call her weak!  
"Think again."

Shampoo was boiling in rage and in tears. There was only one person  
responsible for helping to tear a part of her life away from her, isolating  
her further from her people.

"This is all your fault, Great Grandmother! You're the one who brought  
them here! You knew this would happen! You knew I would not go back! Now,  
thanks to you, I have no sisters. DAMN YOU!"

She could contain her rage no longer as she launched an attack at Cologne.  
The elder remained calm in the face of the assault. "Now that is foolish,  
great granddaughter." She vaulted over the charging Shampoo and tapped her  
on the back of the neck with her staff. Shampoo went down as her muscles  
locked up. "The boy's protection does not extend to you if you attack me  
directly." She gazed sadly at Shampoo. If only the whole messy business  
could have been avoided. Now what had to be done was to take Shampoo back  
to China and try to get a cure. Were the gods willing, Cologne could get  
her hands on some Nyanniichuan and make the horrible fiasco just go away.  
Then they could all go back home and try to go back to the ways they had  
before. If not...

Akane tried to run over to Shampoo but was blocked by the pair of young  
Amazons.

LinLin pointed at Akane's throat with her trident. "Fight over now,  
Japanese Girl. Shampoo ours. We kill if you try stop."

"I'd like to see you try."

LinLin just shrugged. "RanRan, why don't you hurt this stupid girl?"

"It would be my pleasure. She grinned and moved to attack with her staff.  
Akane deftly blocked the two strikes. RanRan looked surprised for a moment,  
then redoubled her efforts. Akane blocked or dodged four more thrusts and  
saw an opening, kicking RanRan in the leg.

LinLin became annoyed with her sister's lack of progress. "Quit toying  
with her!"

RanRan moved her leg to assess the damage, then turned to Akane. "Japanese  
girl know how to fight. Did Shampoo teach?"

Akane smiled at the perceived compliment. "She helped me and I helped her."  
She added more by throwing a punch.

RanRan blocked the blow. "Would respect then, if Shampoo not dishonorable  
dog." A staff strike followed.

Akane took the hit, but rolled with it. "If you take her back they'll kill  
her!" she yelled as she regained her footing.

"Good. If today is how Shampoo act since left, killing be only honorable  
thing left her to do."

Akane was struck speechless by the accusation. Rather then retort she  
launched into a flurry of attacks, catching RanRan off guard. The smaller  
Amazon managed to hit Akane on the way in, but the girl failed to register  
the effect. RanRan only managed to block the second kick as she was struck  
by a fist to the jaw, two kicks to her mid-section, and then received a  
body throw into the ground.

Akane looked at the fallen RanRan and smiled. "Who's soft now?"

Akane barely managed to avoid the trident thrust of LinLin, who decided her  
sister was not going to come close to winning her fight. RanRan returned to  
her own feet, allowing the two to double team Akane. As hard as she tried,  
Akane found herself badly overmatched.

LinLin came in high, and only quick reflexes saved Akane's head. The top of  
her hair was not so fortunate as it ended up cut just above her scalp,  
giving her a very poor crewcut. Quite a feat considering LinLin was using a  
trident. Akane's defense totally broke down as a second series of attacks  
left her open to yet another of LinLin's trident thrusts.

LinLin gave a silent prayer for what was to be her dead foe's soul as she  
jabbed forward to run Akane through the heart. Much to the Amazon's  
surprise the blow never landed as her trident disappeared in the middle of  
her thrust. It took her a moment to realize where it had gone as she looked  
up to see Ranma, standing on a tree branch, holding the trident lazily in  
his hands.

He afforded a smile to her. "Little girls shouldn't play with dangerous  
toys." And with that he snapped the trident over his knee and tossed the  
pieces away.

Akane breathed a sigh of relief at Ranma's timely arrival. "They're trying  
to take Shampoo back to China."

Ranma looked over to see Shampoo's prone form next to Cologne, who was  
standing over her great granddaughter. Upon seeing her his eyes widened.

"Well, well. If it isn't my husband." Cologne gave a toothy grin as she  
finished the declaration.

Ranma suppressed the urge to vomit at the suggestion. "What are you talking  
about? And what did you do to Shampoo?"

"You beat me in combat boy. That means I have to marry you."

"No way!" Ranma's revulsion doubled. "I'm not getting married to a ghoul  
like you! I don't even like the one I got now."

Akane glared at the jibe, but remained silent.

"Don't worry. I'm only kidding," Cologne reassured him. "You're way too  
young for me, and I wouldn't want to take those strong genes of yours away  
from future generations. But by defeating me you are afforded some  
protection from me. It would, in the least, be in poor taste to attack you  
directly after you defeated me, even though I was double teamed. It really  
is my own fault for letting my guard down. That won't happen again. As for  
Shampoo, any protection over her ends when she attacks me. Same goes for  
you."

"Then what's up with the two little psychos?" Ranma pointed to RanRan and  
LinLin.

"I didn't say I couldn't act through others," Cologne explained. "Besides,  
they have a say in this matter. Until five minutes ago they were Shampoo's  
Amazon sisters."

Akane stared in surprise at the duo. "Shampoo's your sister?"

RanRan nodded her head. "Was Amazon sister. Now enemy of all Amazons. She  
too weak to be Amazon any more."

"She's ten times the Amazon you'll ever be!" Ranma shouted.

"You think that how Amazon act?" LinLin pointed disdainfully towards  
Shampoo's still form. "You not see real Amazon until you see us fight."

RanRan jumped on LinLin's shoulders as the two shouted as one. "Two Bodies  
Double Team Attack!"

In an instant they began whirling, similar to the Cheerleader Whirlwind  
Pyramid but much smaller, their bodies becoming indistinguishable blurs.  
RanRan's staff poked out several times in an effort to strike Ranma.  
Heightened reflexes prevented the blows from getting through to him.

Analyzing the spinning top for a few moments, while parrying several  
attacks, Ranma figured out what to do. "Akane, go in low!"

Akane didn't question as she prepared to drop low. With the next attack  
Ranma grabbed the staff as it came out on the next strike, slowing the  
spinning couple down. With the loss in speed Akane saw the opening she  
needed and swept LinLin's feet at the base, causing the duo to end up in a  
heap.

Akane stood defiantly over the duo. "Give up yet?"

"Outsiders good." RanRan nodded approvingly. "Show you great honor. Finish  
you with Chinese Dance of Great Fire Dragon."

Cologne shook her head. The pair was doomed.

The twins' bodies seemed to merge into one. Within moments a red glow  
formed behind them and huge dragon seemed to materialize. The unexpected  
display caused Ranma and Akane to back up, wondering just how they had  
somehow summoned something so big. As the glow died off the duo realized  
one thing about the 'dragon'; it was paper. Just like the kind used in  
festivals.

The shock Ranma had felt at first was quickly replaced. "HAHA! What are you  
goin' do with that? Dance at us?"

LinLin and RanRan smiled at each other. "No. You are."

They grabbed the dragon and music started playing. What amusement Ranma  
felt disappeared as he and Akane found themselves dancing to an  
irresistible tune.

"What's going on?" Normally Akane wouldn't mind a good dance; she didn't  
get to do it often. However, doing it in the middle of a fight was not the  
what she had in mind.

Ranma jerked around, trying to stop his dance. "I don't know! OW!" Akane  
stepped on his toes. "Watch the feet!"

A second surprise came when the Amazons started using the flame thrower in  
the dragon's mouth on them.

Now Akane started to become frightened. Wearing flame retardant clothing  
had not been on the day's agenda. "Ranma, do something!"

"I am." He began to tap and scuffle, heel to toe, and shuffle off to  
Buffalo.

"That is not what I meant!"

"Do you think I want to dance? OW! Quit stepping on my toes! I think you  
broke one!" At that point in the dance Ranma got toasted by the flame  
thrower. "I'M ON FIRE!"

"Now is not the time to be bragging about your dancing!"

Cologne nodded in appreciation. The outcome was never in doubt, but the boy  
and girl had fought a good fight. She sighed as she thought about things.  
She needed to get out more often. The world was changing. She hadn't  
realized how good some of the fighters outside of the village had gotten.  
If only they could get some new blood in the tribe.

RanRan and LinLin began shouting together. "You finished now. Chinese Dance  
of Great Fire Dragon unbeatable!" To prove their point they roasted Ranma  
again.

Cologne didn't notice Shampoo's hand slowly reach for the pointed end of  
the broken trident that had landed next to her. Sluggishly she grasped it,  
then drew her hand back, and released it with all her might. The makeshift  
spear went flying into the middle of the dragon and broke the radio that  
was playing the music. As the music stopped so did the dancing.

Cologne eyes widened as she looked over to see that Shampoo was still  
laying there, but her hand still moving. She should not have regained even  
partial muscle control for another five minutes.

Ranma stood still for a moment, smoldering while enjoying the release from  
playing 'Lord of the Dance' on sore feet. He allowed his anger to build.  
"Do you realize what you have done?" he growled to the two Amazons. "You  
have gone too far! It is one thing to try to take Shampoo back to China! It  
is another to try to fry me alive! But to make me watch that..." he pointed  
to Akane. "...clumsy gorilla try to dance is the worst kind of torture  
imaginable! Have you no honor?"

It took but a moment for that to register with Akane. Once it did, the  
biggest battle aura she had ever summoned flared around her. "I'LL SHOW YOU  
TORTURE!"

Ranma realized he had really put his foot in his mouth with that one. "Now  
wait a minute. I mean clumsy gorilla in the nicest way." As he backed up in  
fear he stumbled over a tree root.

That was all the opening Akane needed as she grabbed his feet. "I'll have  
you know I took two years of dancing when I was little!"

She picked him up and swung him around as though she were Paul Bunyan and  
Ranma were the ax. She drove him into a tree. It broke. Ranma didn't.

"I can dance perfectly fine!" Akane raged. "It's not my fault Fuji broke  
his toes when he was dancing with me in sixth grade!" She swung him into  
another tree with the same result. "It wasn't right for them to call me  
Leadfoot after that!" She swung him into yet another tree. "You say I can't  
act!" This time she swung him around for velocity. "You say I can't cook!"  
Swung him around again. "But damn it!"

Swing

"I..."

Swing

"...CAN..."

Swing.

"...DANCE!"

She brought Ranma up over her head and began to arc him down. Since her  
eyes were glazed over no one was sure if she was intentionally aiming for  
the two Amazons or not. LinLin had enough sense to run away, screaming,  
before Ranma could be brought down on her. RanRan, remained where she was,  
just staring at the awesome display of violence, jaw wide open. Ranma was  
brought down directly on her head, the force of the blow driving her into  
the ground all the way up to her waist.

Akane released Ranma's feet and breathed heavily while both RanRan and  
Ranma had stopped moving.

"I think you dance with grace and style. It was a pleasure to watch."  
Cologne assured her.

The unexpected compliment served to calm Akane down and her aura faded.  
"You mean that?"

"Why would I lie?"

Akane smiled. "Thanks. People around here don't appreciate good dancing."

LinLin at last came out of hiding and tried to help RanRan out of the  
ground. "You can't be serious, Elder. She dances like a baboon with two  
club feet."

Cologne gave her a stern look. "It was the easiest way to defuse the  
situation. And say no more, lest she understands our tongue."

Ranma started to come around at the same time as RanRan, his eyes focusing  
on Akane.

"That hurt."

"Good! It was supposed to." Akane began to feel somewhat sorry for her  
actions, in spite of what she said. Maybe she had overreacted.

Ranma pressed the issue. "Now you aren't being fai-" He was cut off as he  
ended up glomped by RanRan.

"Wo de Airen," RanRan gushed.

Two fists met flesh. Akane into Ranma's face. Shampoo into RanRan's.

Cologne's eyes widened into disbelief again. It was impossible. Shampoo  
should not have regained total muscle control for another ten minutes.

"RANMA!" Akane bellowed. "Just what do you think you are doing?!"

"It ain't my fault," Ranma spluttered. "She just grabbed on to me."

Shampoo mirrored the statement on her victim. "What RanRan think she do?"

"It simple." RanRan smiled. "Boy defeat RanRan in combat. RanRan marry  
husband."

Akane heard the statement and began choking Ranma. "You pervert!"

"Not...my...fault," Ranma gasped.

Shampoo had her own problems. "You can't marry Ranma."

"Why?" RanRan asked.

"He not beat you. He just use as a weapon."

"That not matter."

"He already have fiancee."

"Then have to kill fiancee."

"That girl fiancee," Shampoo said flatly and pointed to Akane.

RanRan appeared scared for a moment, then regained her composure. "Then  
learn to get along with other wife."

Ranma began to lose consciousness once again as Akane continued to strangle  
him.

"There one other reason why no can marry Ranma." Shampoo turned to Akane.  
"Please take Ranma and go, Akane. This must be done private."

"Fine." Akane stopped strangling Ranma and dragged him off around some  
trees and out of sight.

"Now why can't I marry the handsome boy? RanRan asked, irritated.

Shampoo cracked her knuckles. "I'll show you why."

Akane was reprimanding the recovering Ranma when an unearthly scream broke  
out from where they had just left Shampoo. They started to run over to  
where the Amazons were located when they saw Shampoo come from around some  
trees, appearing the same as when they left, save for a big smile on her  
face.

"What was that?" Ranma asked.

"RanRan not like reason why she can no marry Ranma." Shampoo shrugged.  
"Let's go home. Great Grandmother not bother us for awhile."

Shampoo led the way while Ranma and Akane followed.

Cologne observed the twitching limbs that were twisted at some odd angles.  
LinLin just stared at the mess with a look of horror on her face.

"I have to hand it to Shampoo. She disabled RanRan in such a way as to  
make sure she can't fight for a while, but won't have any permanent  
damage." Cologne admired the handiwork, although the pain holds had been a  
bit excessive. She wondered why Shampoo was so angry with RanRan, and how  
she had gotten out of the pressure point blow. Cologne had heard of those  
with absolute single minded purpose could sometimes come out of them early  
at great personal risk, but what could have brought her great granddaughter  
to that level of drive, she wondered? Shampoo had never demonstrated it  
before, no matter how hard Cologne had tried.

Ranma jumped up onto the roof. Shampoo had been in his usual spot for close  
to an hour. It was only now that he felt concerned enough to risk violating  
her privacy, an unusual action on his part, but one he felt he had to do.  
As he got to the top, he saw that Shampoo was staring at the sunset. No  
smile parted her lips as she looked off into the distance. Ranma began to  
have second thoughts about interrupting her, then considered all that had  
happened in the day. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Shampoo want be left alone now," she informed him without bothering to  
turn her head.

Ranma found he did not want to give up. "You sure?"

"Yes. Thanks."

She still had not turned her head to answer him. Ranma relented and jumped  
back down into Akane's room. Her concern mirrored his own.

"She said she wants to be alone," Ranma informed her.

Akane shook her head. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Me either," Ranma admitted. "But it ain't like we can't force her to open  
up to us."

The sound of creaking from the roof caught their attention. Akane peered  
out the window to see the cause of the disturbance.

"I don't think we need to worry any more," Akane said with a smile as she  
came back fully into the room.

"Why?" Ranma asked. What had happened?

"Someone else is going to talk to her."

Shampoo heard the creaking noise and turned around. It was Kasumi, who was  
climbing unsteadily onto the roof from her own window.

"I don't understand the fascination you three seem to have with staying up  
here. I think this is just a little dangerous." Kasumi walked unsteadily  
towards Shampoo.

The purple-haired Amazon made certain Kasumi sat down safely and began to  
talk. "Shampoo want be left alone."

Instead of moving, Kasumi stared off into the sunset. "I'm sure you want  
much more than that. Like the magic girl water. Acceptance back into your  
village. Your family."

Shampoo sadly nodded her head. "Yes."

"You can be alone if you want." Kasumi looked at Shampoo straight in the  
eye. "Is that what you want?"

For the first time since the fight, Shampoo suddenly found herself  
uncertain. She was not used to opening up to people about things like this,  
yet there was some urge to talk to the girl before her. "Not sure."

"Why don't you tell me about it?"

Akane stopped listening in. "She's in good hands. Let's go."

Ranma was more confused than anything else. "Why is she talking with Kasumi  
instead of me?"

"Aren't there things you only talk with your father, and not any of the  
girls here?"

"Guy stuff. Sure."

"Well its the same thing for girls." Akane grabbed Ranma by the hand. "Now  
let's go. I'll beat you at Shogi."

Ranma smiled at that. "We're going to have to tear our fathers off the  
board."

"Good. Their games have gone on long enough."

Back on the roof, Kasumi examined Shampoo more closely. "What happened  
today?"

Shampoo considered remaining silent, but gave in to the need to open up.  
"Shampoo lose sisters."

That shocked Kasumi. "You mean they died?"

"Not way you mean." Shampoo shook her head vigorously. "Sisters disown  
Shampoo."

That was a relief, but Kasumi still needed to know more. "Why would they do  
that?"

"They follow Amazon law. Shampoo not go back when supposed to. So they  
disown Shampoo." It really had been simple, especially with her great  
grandmother right there. They had done exactly what they were supposed to  
do.

"That's terrible. Isn't there any way to make up with them?"

"Yes," Shampoo acknowledged. "Can go back to village and kill self. If  
Shampoo restore honor, then they take back."

Had any of her family members been present, they would have been shocked to  
hear the adamant tone Kasumi's voice contained. "You can't do that. Isn't  
there some way around the law?"

Shampoo shook her head sadly. "No. If want Amazon sisters back, then  
Shampoo must go back."

"You aren't considering that, are you?"

Shampoo gave Kasumi an odd look. Yes, there was definitely a need to open  
up. "Shampoo think very much what happened today. At first very hurt by  
sisters turning back on Shampoo. But now stop and think about what  
happened. Why happened. What was said. Shampoo think about what sisters  
like. Before today, Shampoo remember sisters and think they good. Why they  
so different? Why they so mean and violent girls now? When did they become  
bad?"

Kasumi shook her head. "Even though they disowned you, they are still your  
sisters. They are still good people. This is just a big misunderstanding."

Shampoo just stared at Kasumi, almost as though what the eldest Tendo  
daughter had said aided Shampoo in what she wanted to say. "Shampoo at  
first think they do change. But now stop and remember. Try to see how they  
change. Why they do what they did. Then as Shampoo thought, she realize,  
they not change." Shampoo's gaze became a bit wild, influenced by the  
revelation she had only recently made. "They just the same as before."

"I'm not sure I follow you," Kasumi said.

"Sisters not turn bad," Shampoo continued. "They not changed. If not they  
change then why they do what they did? Then answer occur to Shampoo. RanRan  
right. Is Shampoo who changed. If Shampoo change, then is good change, or  
bad? Sisters think bad. Why? How did Shampoo change to make things bad?"

"You are not a bad person," Kasumi insisted. "If they think that then are  
just wrong."

Sadness was evident in Shampoo's voice. "Kasumi, you not know Shampoo  
before meet with Ranma and Pop. Now think about it. Shampoo think was not  
very nice person. Used to be much more," she searched for the correct word.  
"Arrogant. And very ruthless. Did whatever took to get what wanted. Well,  
almost anything. Also, Shampoo used to defeat people up to prove better,  
had to do many times. When younger, even defeat friends because had to be  
best. After a while, Shampoo not have any friends. So act like not care. Am  
supposed to be future leader, so above needing friends. Shampoo had people  
that look up to her, but not like equals. Only Mousse remain same, but he  
want wife, not friend. It was nice he not change. At least before  
Jusenkyou," Shampoo added

Kasumi gazed softly at her friend. "You don't have to tell-"

Shampoo cut her off. "Yes! Shampoo do have to tell. Great Grandmother teach  
that to lead tribe may have to do hurt to people for good of Amazons. Can  
no let feelings get in way. So Shampoo try not care about feelings. Do this  
for very long time. After all, if no care, then no can be hurt. Shampoo  
think she successful for long time. Maybe things would start to bother, but  
quickly put them out of mind because they just get in way. Shampoo live  
that way for very long time.

"But once fall into cursed spring, then everything change. Now can no go  
back to village because everything different. Everything Shampoo learn,  
everything Shampoo do, everything Shampoo live for, all gone with splash of  
water. Shampoo had nothing but village and to become leader, now don't have  
that. So now what could Shampoo do?" She shuddered then. "If not for Ranma  
and Pop, Shampoo think maybe she would have gone back to village anyway. If  
all life there, then maybe it right death be there to."

Kasumi said nothing. She simply rested a hand on Shampoo's shoulder.

Shampoo continued. "But Ranma and Pop were there. When they see how much  
Shampoo hurt, and that she can no go back to village, Ranma say, 'Shampoo,  
you can come with us.' Shampoo not understand. They not ask for anything.  
They just offer for no reason, so Shampoo say yes. Shampoo spent many days  
with Ranma and Pop. After a while, see how Ranma and Pop act. It so  
different from everything Shampoo see when living in Joketsuzoku. Yes, they  
train, but it different, not like with Great Grandmother. Shampoo discover  
she like being with Ranma and Pop. And also, Shampoo see world outside  
village for first time. It so different. So many things and people. Shampoo  
try to learn all but can't. There's too much. And so much is different from  
what learn from Great Grandmother. So maybe that why change. New Shampoo do  
many things Old Shampoo would never do. Old Shampoo not act in play, or go  
to school, or stuff like that. Shampoo not used to that. It all different  
now."

Shampoo took a deep breath. "So now Shampoo know she change. Now ask self  
if want to change back to way Old Shampoo was. And you know what answer  
is?"

Kasumi shook her head.

"Shampoo not want to go back to way Shampoo was." The Amazon concentrated  
on what to say next. "'I' like being the way I am. I like this new 'me'".  
She relaxed. "Shampoo prefer talk like this. It easier. So now have no  
family, and, most important, Shampoo know not want to go back to way  
Shampoo was." She looked to the ground. "That mean family gone forever."

Kasumi embraced Shampoo tightly. "You'll always have me."

Shampoo just sat there limp for a few moments, unused to such open  
affection from another woman. Warriors were only like that among their  
closest friends, and in private. Shampoo only had one that would have ever  
qualified as that, and that had ended up so painfully she refused to even  
try again. But Kasumi was different. She was no warrior. Shampoo found she  
wanted to return the embrace, and did so.

"Like that very much," Shampoo said with heartfelt gratitude. "Shampoo want  
thank Kasumi."

"For what?"

Shampoo felt embarrassed by her confession. "You much responsible for  
Shampoo change, at least as much as Ranma and Pop. You nice person that  
treat Shampoo good since Shampoo got here. Shampoo like the way you are and  
try to be more like you. More understanding, and not so violent. Shampoo  
know that she different from you, but still can learn things from you. That  
part of reason why Shampoo like changes. Know that am better now than what  
Shampoo was before.

"You're welcome," was all Kasumi could say.

Later:

Akane played around with her hair once again. Kasumi had done a good job of  
evening it out, but it was still going to take some getting used to.

"Can I come in?" Ranma asked carefully from the door of Akane's bedroom.

Akane suddenly felt uncomfortable, but she knew it had nothing to do with  
Ranma seeing her new haircut. Not at all.

"Um...okay." She found her hand playing with the hair once again.

She watched Ranma come in and stare at her, or more specifically, her hair.  
He hated it. "Why are you staring at me?" she growled.

Ranma felt the hackles on his neck stand up. She was going to get violent  
for no reason once again. Still, he said the first thing that came to mind.  
"It's the hair. It looks kind of nice on you." Oddly, the hackles on his  
neck went away.

Akane just stared at him for a moment. He said she looked nice? "Oh.  
Thanks. I was trying to think of how long it would take to grow back, but,  
if you think it looks nice maybe I should keep it short. Not this short.  
But shorter than it was before."

Ranma shrugged. "Well, it ain't like it was nasty looking before, but...oh,  
I dunno. I guess short hair suits you better. I think you should keep it  
that way, if you're asking me for my opinion."

"I guess I am." Akane found herself smiling unexpectedly at him.

Ranma noticed the smile and found himself suddenly very nervous. "I got to  
go do some stuff. See ya." And with that he closed the door and quickly  
left the room, leaving Akane to stare at where he had left.

She returned to looking at the mirror. Yes. Maybe she should let it stay  
short. Sometimes change was good. And it had nothing to do with Ranma  
saying he liked it.

At least that was what she told herself.

Cologne watched the gangplank being lowered from the ship. It was time to  
send her two charges home. Her plan had failed, which meant something else  
would have to be tried. Why couldn't Shampoo just see the truth and come  
back home? Why was she so defiant in disobeying her, the woman who had  
practically raised her?

She gave a sigh as she watched RanRan, in a full body cast, being wheeled  
onto the ship by two crewmen, the poor girl.

LinLin bowed in shame before Cologne. "I'm sorry we failed you, Elder."

"Nonsense," Cologne reassured her. "Shampoo is the best of your  
generation. It's small surprise you did not fare well against her and her  
associates. Go with my blessings. And tell RanRan that Shampoo was right.  
The boy was used as a weapon, so he did not actually beat her in combat.  
And tell her not to worry about a 'Kiss of Death' either. I'll take care of  
it. "

LinLin bowed again, and boarded the ship. Cologne remained on the shore and  
watched the ship cast off and sail into the horizon.

Cologne lit her pipe and puffed a little as she thought. It appeared that  
she had better come up with a better plan to convince Shampoo she should  
return home. And she was going to need better agents as well.

Part 2  
The Accidental Tourist

Akane, Shampoo, and Ranma headed together to the new restaurant Hiroshi had  
been going on about all day. Of course, at the time, he had been trying to  
convince 'Shampoo' to go with him on a date to the restaurant.

"...and I hate it when those guys keep asking me out, the bunch of  
perverts!" Ranma growled.

"At least they no attack you when they try to court you," Shampoo sighed.

"But I WANT to hit them," Ranma complained. It was just so creepy the way  
guys hit on him when he was a girl. Too bad he couldn't tell them the  
truth, but there was no longer any telling what would happen of the school  
population suddenly became aware of the fact that the most available male  
student was a girl and the most popular female student was a guy. And Ranma  
had no desire to find out.

"You two should relax," Akane said while thanking the kami she didn't have  
their problems. "They say this new place is something else. I'm so hungry I  
could eat a horse."

"Oh yeah?" Ranma said, not to be outdone. "Well, I'm so hungry I could eat  
an elephant."

"Shampoo as hungry as Pop," Shampoo added.

Akane and Ranma looked to one another, then nodded. "You win," they said  
simultaneously.

The trio approached the street diner, taking note of the steady flow of  
customers going in and out. Ranma looked up and read the name on the awning  
above the entrance. UK-CHAN'S.

He scratched his head. It almost appeared that there had been a 'C' where  
the 'K' currently was. Ranma considered what that might have meant for the  
briefest of moment, then discarded the notion. What were the odds it would  
belong to her?

The trio entered the restaurant and sat down at an empty booth. Ranma sat  
next to Shampoo while being directly across from Akane. Only a moment  
passed before a waiter came for their order.

"What would you li...?" Ryouga's voice trailed off as exactly who he was  
waiting on registered.

All three of the customers stared at him in equal surprise. It was Ryouga  
all right, in his standard yellow and black outfit with the addition of an  
apron and head set.

"What are you doing here?" Ranma snapped. It was going to be another sneak  
attack. He just knew it. In any second Ryouga was going to cry out,  
'Prepare to die!" and try to hit him.

"I work here," Ryouga growled right back. "What are you doing here?"

"We came to eat." Ranma began to wonder if the lost one was telling the  
truth. Maybe it wouldn't lead to a fight after all.

"Ryouga, wait on them," Ukyou said from behind the grill she was cooking  
at. She had seen the trio enter, and had chosen to see what they had come  
in for. The last thing she needed was an all out brawl in her new  
restaurant.

"But they..." Ryouga began.

"Don't worry about it," Ukyou told him nonchalantly. "It saves me the  
trouble of running them down later."

Ryouga weighed attacking Ranma against obeying Ukyou. Making Ukyou mad  
would hurt him, and Ranma could get his just desserts later. "What would  
you like?" he reluctantly said.

"Menus, batboy!" Ranma snapped.

Ryouga handed them some menus. "Now what would you like?"

"Some time to decide," Ranma sighed.

Ryouga kept his temper in check, repeating to himself "I will not kill  
Ranma today. I will not kill Ranma today," and wandered off.

The three kept one eye on their menus and one eye on Ryouga. It seemed he  
had been telling the truth and was simply waiting on tables. Eventually he  
came back to theirs and looked at them expectantly.

"Ready yet?" Saying that with his fist and teeth clenched did nothing to  
put the others at ease.

Ranma stared at him. "Why do you have that stupid headset on? You don't  
have a drive-thru."

"That's none of your business!" Ryouga was finding it increasingly  
difficult to keep from attacking his long time nemesis.

Akane saw what was going on and tried to play peacekeeper. "What would you  
recommend?"

That threw Ryouga for a moment. Then he realized he was their waiter, and  
that sort of thing was his job. "Probably the okonomiyaki," he answered  
sincerely. Ukyou sure knew how to cook them.

Ranma felt a headache come on. "Since this is an okonomiyaki restaurant,  
and there is nothing but okonomiyaki on the menu, do you think you could be  
a little more specific?" he said dryly.

That slight was the final straw. "I have heard enough out of you!"

Ryouga balled up his fist, drawing it back to strike. Ukyou only had a  
moment to jump over the counter and place a restraining hand on his  
shoulder.

"Go get the order for table twelve."

Ryouga looked between her and Ranma. "But..."

"Just do it. Please."

Ryouga gave a cold stare to Ranma, bowed his head to Ukyou, and made his  
way over to the counter to pick up the tray of food. Ukyou remained  
standing next to the booth where the trio sat.

Ukyou gave Ryouga one last glance, then began talking to the seated people.  
So many emotions were going through her. The boy she had originally thought  
was Ranma, the one that had humiliated her in front of everyone, was really  
a girl and the strange girl she had thought was Shampoo was really Ranma.  
Except now, they were in their real forms, which just seemed to add to the  
confusion, despite the fact it made sense. Sort of. It was all so weird.

She looked at the boy who had been her friend growing up. "I want to ask  
you a favor, Ran-chan."

"Go ahead."

Ukyou took a deep breath. "I would appreciate it if you didn't have any  
fights in the restaurant. It would mean a lot to me."

Ranma shrugged. Destroying Ukyou's restaurant was the last thing he wanted  
to do. He was taking things slowly with her since she still didn't seem to  
know of what to make of her old playmate. He was respecting the distance,  
hoping things could go back to the way they were and she was his friend,  
even if all of his memories of Ukyou were of her as a boy. "Sure, but how  
you goin' to get batboy to go along?"

"I already got him to agree, so there isn't any problem there." It had  
taken very little effort on her part to get him to go along with it. She  
just gave him a hopeful look and he laughed nervously, promising not to  
destroy the restaurant, which was now serving as his home as well as his  
place of employment. Hiring him on not only helped, but it made her feel  
strangely reassured to have the curious boy nearby. As long as he didn't  
try anything. There was one other problem though. "Can you keep the bimbo  
in line?"

"Shampoo not bimbo!" she growled.

"All right, all right." Ukyou held her hands up in a calming gesture. "Can  
you keep that thing on a tight leash?"

That time Ranma had to put a restraining hand on Shampoo. "Shampoo will  
keep her word," he reassured Ukyou.

One of the customers interrupted the conversation. "Miss, can we have our  
food now?"

Ukyou looked at him in confusion. That was the last order she had completed  
before going over to talk to the others. Ryouga should have taken it to the  
table by then. A quick examination of the dining area showed Ryouga was  
absent. "Not again!" she moaned while taking out a walkie-talkie from her  
uniform. "Come in Ryouga, over."

Ryouga looked around for some familiar landmark. The customers, as well as  
the tables, had seemed to disappear on him. And where had all of the plants  
come from? Ukyou had no more than a couple in the entire shop.

"Now where is table twelve?" he mumbled under his breath.

His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice in his headset.

"Come in Ryouga, over," Ukyou said.

Ryouga tapped the transmit button. "I'm here. Go ahead."

Ukyou asked where he was, allowing him to describe the sudden appearance of  
the odd plants.

Ukyou sighed "It sounds like you're in the floral shop down the street.  
Here's how you get back."

Ranma listened to the instructions she gave Ryouga. "That isn't the way  
back to here."

Ukyou just shook her head. "If it's the one thing a learned in the short  
time I've known Ryouga, it is that if you give him a direction to go in, he  
goes the opposite way. Now, what did you guys want?"

Ryouga eventually found his way back to the restaurant, still bearing the  
tray of now cold food. Ukyou looked up from behind the counter and sighed  
once again at her new employee.

Ryouga just looked sheepishly in return. "Sorry. I don't know why that  
keeps happening."

Ukyou tried smiling to ease him. It wasn't as though his lack of direction  
sense was his fault. "Don't worry. I'll make the signs on the tables  
bigger. Here is Ranma's, Akane's, and Shampoo's order." She carefully  
pointed out which was which.

Ryouga relaxed and made his way directly to the table. Handing each person  
their dish. When he got to Ranma, he placed the plate on top of his head.  
Ranma's quick reflexes were all that prevented the dinner from ending up on  
his lap.

"You call that service?!" Ranma growled. "You can forget a tip!"

"I wouldn't expect a tip from a deadbeat like you!" Ryouga snapped back and  
went off to wait on another table.

Ranma just stared at Ryouga until another thought occurred to him. "Hey,  
Ukyou! Why did you change the name of this place?"

"No reason," Ukyou said just a little too quickly.

Ryouga turned to glare at Ranma. "She couldn't very well name it after the  
man who hurt her so badly. Isn't that right, Uk-chan?"

Ukyou found herself blushing and nodding in agreement.

"Hey!" Ranma shouted out indignantly. "I didn't hurt nobody! It was all  
Pop's fault!"

After another verbal assault between Ranma and Ryouga over who hurt whom,  
the trio of customers dug into their meal.

"Yum! This is delicious!" Akane thought it was quite possibly the best  
okonomiyaki she had ever had.

"You haven't lost your touch," Ranma reassured Ukyou.

Shampoo took one bite and began gagging. After spitting out her food she  
barely got out. "This taste like wallpaper paste!"

Ukyou gave a way too obvious look of confusion and bent down to pick up an  
empty can. "So that's where the rest of it went." She smiled and made sure  
Shampoo could read the label on the can of empty wallpaper paste. "I  
apologize. Let me make you a new one."

"No thanks," Shampoo growled. "Would rather eat Akane cooking than Stupid  
Spatula Girl's."

It took a second for that to register on Akane. "Just what is that supposed  
to mean?"

Ranma spoke up. "What she's trying to say is that there is a difference  
between making batter out of wallpaper paste, and making a batter that  
tastes like wallpaper paste."

Akane managed to get out a 'why you,' before swinging at Ranma. He ducked  
the blow, made another rude comment about how slow Akane was, then rushed  
out of the restaurant with Akane hot on his heels. Shampoo sighed and  
followed, making sure not to leave any money for the bill.

Ukyou considered what to do about that when her grill began to give off  
smoke. She immediately shut it down and examined it, discovering a coil  
needed to be replaced. That was just perfect. She hadn't been open for more  
than three days and she was going to have to close already. She used some  
colorful terms to describe her grill and the hassle she was going to have  
to go through to replace it.

"Why not let me do it?" Ryouga, who had listened closely to the diatribe,  
asked.

Ukyou considered that. "Well, I probably could baby it the rest of the  
night, but there's no way it will be running tomorrow. Are you sure you  
feel up to it?"

"I won't fail you," Ryouga raised his fist to the skies and made a vow to  
let nothing stand in his way. He charged out the door, allowing Ukyou to  
smile as he left. It wasn't often someone was willing to go out of their  
way for her. She was about to return to her work, when Ryouga rushed back  
inside.

"Excuse me, sir," he then realized where he was. "Ukyou! What are you doing  
in a store down the street?"

Ukyou just sighed and prepared to draw a precise map for him to get from  
Uk-Chan's to Shiro's Parts.

Ryouga stood in front of a sign pole, looking back and forth between the  
paper and the sign with the street names: Gamera Road and Ghidora Drive. He  
read the names once more, then looked back at the map again. It clearly  
said he was supposed to go down Ghidora Drive.

He was so intent on reading the map that he failed to notice the pole  
suddenly shift, reversing the directions of Gamera and Ghidora.

Ryouga read the sign and walked down the new Gamera Street.

A head popped out of the sign and watched Ryouga's retreating form. "I  
don't know how he knew that it was a trap," Tsubasa Kurenai snarled. It had  
been such a good plan too. One sure to eliminate the rotten scoundrel that  
had forced himself into Ukyou's life. He was still wondering which new trap  
to set up when a car traveled down the new Ghidora Street, which was then  
followed by an explosion.

Ryouga stood on the sidewalk of downtown Nerima, looking at his map again.  
It was pretty straightforward in where he should go: Shiro's Parts, which  
was right across the street. He tucked the map in his back pocket and  
headed straight for Ma Maison.

A sign in front of Shiro's got up, now really irritated. Tsubasa really  
wondered how Ryouga had sniffed out the trap again. He got up and entered  
the restaurant.

Ryouga looked over the interior of the 'parts store.' There didn't seem to  
be all that many parts and it smelled pretty good. He noticed a man in a  
nice suit next to the entrance could went over to him.

Ryouga cleared his throat. "Where would I find a coil for a stove?"

In response, the man handed Ryouga a menu, allowing him to look it over.  
"Do you see what you need?"

"No."

"That is because this a restaurant," the maitre'd explained. "You want the  
parts store across the street." The man gave Ryouga specific directions to  
cross the street.

As Ryouga left a patron was seated at an empty table. Just as he made  
himself comfortable, a head popped out. Tsubasa got up and walked out of  
the restaurant in his table disguise. The patron looked at the table,  
shrugged and decided to follow by hopping along on his chair.

Ryouga looked directly across the street at Shiro's as two movers put  
furniture in a van. He had it in his line of sight, but he needed to be  
sure he could make it there. That meant crossing the street. But it was  
dangerous to cross without looking both ways. He might get hit by a car. So  
what was he to do. It took him a moment to come up with the answer. Keep  
looking at the store across the street and smash any cars that tried to run  
him over.

The plan worked. He crossed the street and only had to destroy two cars in  
the process.

As he made it, Tsubasa-table hopped out of the restaurant, promptly  
followed by the patron on his chair. Tsubasa shook his head sadly at the  
scene of the carnage. What did Ukyou see in him anyway?

Just as Tsubasa decided to cross the street in another attempt at an  
ambush, one of the near-by movers picked him up.

Tsubasa-table looked around in surprise. "Just what do you think you are  
doing?"

Mover one stared at the table for a moment, then looked to his partner.  
"Hey, this table's talking to me."

"We're getting paid by the job, not the hour," Mover two growled. "Knock it  
out and put it on."

Mover one slugged Tsubasa in the head, then put him in the van. The patron  
watched everything, hopped into the van, while still on his chair, and sat  
next to the unconscious Tsubasa-table. The movers closed the back of the  
van and drove off.

The patron looked around. "I wonder when the waiter is going to take my  
order."

It had worked. Ryouga had made it to the store, bought the correct part,  
and was on his way back to Ukyou. There was just one little problem.

He was wandering the corridors of a large mansion.

"I should have asked Ukyou to write down directions for getting back,"  
Ryouga sighed as he tried to figure a way out of the mansion.

Ryouga eventually came upon two huge doors and opened them. Inside was a  
huge dining hall, almost the size of a small house. A young man sat at the  
table, wearing a hakama, and was preparing to dine upon a huge boar on a  
spit in the middle. A little man in ninja garb served him.

Ryouga hoped against hope. "This isn't Uk-Chan's, is it?"

"Nay, knave," Kunou bellowed. "This is Kunou Manor. Why do you intrude?" He  
idly fingered the bokken at his waist.

Ryouga bowed in apology. "It was an honest mistake. I'll leave."

Kunou was struck by a momentary whim. "Hold! Ordinarily I would have you  
fed to the dogs, or my sister's pet, Mr. Green Turtle. But it has been  
quiet in her absence. Too quiet. I would allow you to dine with me and stay  
at the manor this evening. It is quite late." Besides, it was too damn  
quiet without Kodachi laughing at least once a day.

Ryouga realized it was late and Ukyou didn't need her part until tomorrow.  
If he tried finding anything in the dark it was more likely he would simply  
end up more lost than he already was. Besides, he was starving. "GREAT! I  
love pork!"

He stuffed his face and retired to a bedroom. As Ryouga left, Kunou paused  
in his reverie to wonder what his sister is up to.

Somewhere near the North Pole:

Kodachi was wearing a babushka and winter parka, riding on the back of a  
panda with glasses, while twirling her ribbon . She and Mousse-panda were  
being pursued by teams of irate Eskimos on dog sleds, some polar bears, and  
a single penguin bringing up the rear.

"OHHOHOHOHOHO!" Kodachi was loving every minute of her time with her  
beloved Mousse, although it seemed they were never going to lose the damned  
penguin that had followed them all the way from the South Pole. Still, as

long as she was with her Mousse, then nothing else mattered.

Ryouga woke up early and set off to make it to Uk-Chan's, intent on making  
it on time. As he walked past a grandfather clock in one of the halls, it  
sprouted a head.

Tsubasa-clock gazed at Ryouga's retreating form. "He's had it now."

"Ah ha!" a voice came out of nowhere. Tsubasa looked around in surprise as  
Sasuke suddenly sprang out from a hiding spot in the floor and confronted  
him.

"An intruder!" Sasuke said as he pointed accusingly at the clock.

Tsubasa changed disguises before Sasuke's eyes, throwing a black mask over  
his face. "Look! I'm a ninja too. Can't we be friends?"

Sasuke appeared...unimpressed. "If you are a ninja, I suppose you can do  
this." A net sprang out from his hands and wrapped up Tsubasa. It was only  
a few moments later he delivered the 'package' to his master.

"So. Yet another intruder. I do sense this one's intentions are not  
honorable like the other's." Kunou considered what to do with the newcomer.  
Yes. That would do. "Very well. We shall feed him to Mr. Green Turtle."

Even as he was being taken outside, Tsubasa had to question Kunou's sanity.  
Turtles didn't eat people.

He was taken to a pool out back and hung over a pond. Tsubasa watched as a  
large shadow moved under the water, then emerged from below him. It was  
then Tsubasa learned exactly what Mr. Green Turtle was, as an alligator,  
with a large collar around its neck, emerged from the pool.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS A TURTLE!" Tsubasa screamed, trying  
desperately to keep from being snacked upon by the leaping reptile.

"Nay," Kunou said. "I said it's name is Mr. Green Turtle." He pointed to  
the collar, which clearly had the name Mr. Green Turtle etched upon it. He  
walked off, allowing Tsubasa to the pet's tender mercies.

Ryouga found himself walking down the middle of a quiet street, helplessly  
lost. He had to make it to Ukyou's before the afternoon rush hit. He would  
never let himself live it down if he failed her. It was still fairly early  
in the morning, so he still had time to make it.

Then he heard a noise, almost like a low roar coming from a race car. He  
turned around to witness a bizarre scene. There was a red haired girl in a  
white and blue school uniform holding the hand of a blond haired girl, also  
in like uniform, with the red head running at about the speed of a bullet  
train. The blond was flying through the air as she was dragged behind the  
redhead. While the duo approached Ryouga, who watched as though he was a  
deer caught in headlights, a garbage can jumped into the middle of the road  
directly behind the lost one.

Ryouga considered the girl for a moment, then decided to ask the running  
girl for directions. "Excuse me Mis-"

The last thing Ryouga clearly heard was, "Look out!" Then...

*WHAM*

A-Ko kept on going while Ryouga, who had never been hit so hard in his  
life, just looked up at the sky and stared at the stars now circling his  
head. He was unaware of the cry of pain from Tsubasa as he too was run over  
and fared even less well than Ryouga.

It was a while later that the recovered Ryouga found himself in an open  
dune-like area surrounded by a chain link fence. He destroyed a section of  
the fence in order to pass through, not realizing a section of the fence  
further down detached itself and started to follow him.

Ryouga silently wondered where he was, passing right by a sign that read.  
'Missile Testing Range. KEEP OUT!' He did look up when he heard the whine  
of an engine from overhead. A moment later a missile exploded next to  
Ryouga, hitting the section of fence that was following him, causing rocks  
to rain down. He simply pulled out his umbrella and continued on,  
disappearing in the following explosions.

It was much later when Ryouga found the sun unbearable and had to shield  
his eyes. His bandanna became a very useful time as it absorbed the sweat  
that had formed on his brow. He sighed to himself, deciding to accept the  
fact he was lost and if he didn't change into a bat he would never get to  
Ukyou's. And he had so wanted to show her he could do it as a man. Still,  
he needed to get back and chose to use some water.

It was then Ryouga realized he in the middle of a desert. Dunes were all  
that could be seen in the distance, save for one cactus directly behind  
him.

"This might be a little more difficult than I thought," he mumbled as he  
began to wander off in search of some water.

The cactus sprouted a head and followed. "Where is this idiot going now?"  
Tsubasa growled, trying to decide if following Ryouga was such a hot idea  
now that he was lost and only the kami knew where.

Ryouga traveled in circles for hours, then days, the cactus always right  
behind him. He started crying out in misery when he realized he had missed  
the deadline to get back to Ukyou. Eventually, after several weeks, he and  
the cactus made their way back to civilization, arriving in a huge city.  
Ryouga looked around for some way of communicating with Ukyou, then  
realized he was next to a police call box. Hoping he had the correct kind  
of change, he entered the box.

Once inside he was more than a little confused. On the outside the box was  
only about five feet by six feet. Inside, however, was a white sterile room  
that was dominated by a round control panel in the middle of the twenty by  
thirty foot room. A cylinder with a glowing object in it was above the  
panel, emitting a soft hum. There was an open corridor behind the far wall  
leading a long way off. The only other occupant was a Caucasian man  
appearing in his late thirties with curly brown hair and wearing a brown  
trench coat with scarf. He was fiddling with the controls, and only paused  
in his scrutiny when he heard Ryouga gasp in awe.

"Hello there," the Doctor said as he introduced himself. "Would you like a  
jellybaby?" He pulled a small brown bag from out of his coat and offered  
its contents to Ryouga.

Ryouga politely declined, asking, "Do you know where I am?"

"Funny," the Doctor said. "I was about to ask you the same question."

Ryouga suddenly felt a kinship with the man. "I can't say. I'm afraid I'm  
lost."

"Do you think it's Bangladesh?"

Ryouga shook his head. "No. Most people outside were Caucasians."

"Blast," the Doctor muttered to himself, then turned to Ryouga. "Do you  
know what year it is?"

Ryouga told him.

"I'm two hundred years off the mark." The Doctor slammed his fist into the  
control panel. The blow caused the object in the cylinder to begin moving  
up and down. A moment later the ship started making a wheezing noise.

The Doctor turned to Ryouga, a pleasant smile upon his face. "How would you  
like to travel through time and space and help me save the universe?"

The failure of returning to Ukyou made Ryouga more depressed than ever.  
"Sure. Why not? Maybe I can get lost there too."

The Doctor smiled. "I prefer to think of it as the hand of fate randomly  
deciding your destiny. I'm glad you have decided to join." He then thought  
to himself that it was rather nice that Ryouga decided to join on. It had  
been a while since he had a companion in his travels, and besides, he  
wasn't sure of where they had been or if he could get back there.

The Doctor took off his coat and placed it upon a nearby coat rack. He  
paused, looking suspiciously at it for a moment, then escorted Ryouga  
around to show him his new home.

The coat rack sprouted Tsubasa's head. There was fear in his eyes as he  
wondered what mess Ryouga had gotten him into now.

To the outside world, the Tardis (Time machine disguised as a police call  
box) disappeared with a wheezing sound.

A great deal of time later (Time being relative when one deals with time  
travel in a machine that can travel through both time and space and was  
designed to look like a police call box):

On the street outside of Uk-Chan's, which was still closed for the morning,  
the Tardis slowly reappeared. Within seconds Ryouga slowly emerged, now  
dressed in a black and yellow trench coat, a low black and yellow striped  
hat, with his backpack and umbrella with him. The Doctor followed a moment  
later.

The Doctor took a moment to enjoy the sun. "Well. How does it feel to be  
back home?"

"It's still here!" Ryouga shouted out in glee as he pointed to Uk-Chan's.  
"I thought it might be gone. I'm a little scared. It's been so long." He  
bolstered his courage a bit as he turned to the Doctor. "Still, I'm not  
sorry I helped save the universe, what was it, three times?"

"Four," the Doctor corrected

'Right. I won't forget the time we fought the Cyber Men..."

Ryouga remembered fighting several metal men with ray guns, who shot at him  
and the Doctor. It was only a convenient nearby mail box, with long,  
flowing brown hair sticking out of the mail slot, that Ryouga threw at the  
men to block their blasts that saved the day.

"...or the Daleks..."

Ryouga remembered fighting the odd looking trash can-like robots, who fired  
beams of energy at him and the Doctor. It was only a convenient nearby log,  
with long, flowing brown hair sticking out of it, that Ryouga threw at the  
Daleks to block the blasts that saved the day.

"...or the Master..."

Ryouga remembered fighting the Caucasian man, who was snappily dressed with  
slick black hair, and fired some kind of energy beam from a rod at him and  
the Doctor. It was only a convenient nearby chair, with long, flowing brown  
hair sticking out of it, that Ryouga threw at the Master to block the blast  
and saved the day. Too bad the chair got disintegrated by the energy.

"...or the most dangerous of all. The Dreaded Rabbits of Xeczis."

Ryouga remembered with fear the horde of ravenous, yet somehow cute,  
bunnies that rushed towards him and the Doctor. It was only a convenient  
nearby giant carrot, with long flowing brown hair sticking out of it, that  
Ryouga threw at the rabbits to distract them that saved the day. Watching  
the cute bunnies fall onto the carrot in a wave was a terrifying sight to  
behold.

"Yes those were pretty big adventures, even for me," the Doctor agreed.  
"Thanks for helping. Hope you find a cure for your condition."

"Thanks." Ryouga looked forlornly at Uk-Chan's.

The Doctor slapped him on the back. "Ryouga, don't worry. Things have a  
tendency to work out."

With one final good-bye, the Doctor stepped back into the Tardis and  
prepared to leave.

Ryouga continued looking at the restaurant. Would Ukyou even remember him?  
It had been so many months, almost a year since he had last seen her. His  
feet began to walk up to the true destination of his long journey, then  
paused. He couldn't do it. He knew he'd never be able to stand the look of  
pure hatred she would have for him when he would step through those doors.  
He had failed her so terribly, she would probably spit in his eye and beat  
him mercilessly with her spatula, then throw his crumpled form in the  
garbage out back. Then his heart would be broken forever. No, it was best  
for both of them if he saved her that pain and simply never saw her again.

"Goodbye forever, Uk-chan. It was fun while it lasted, and for a brief  
while, I had a home once again. I'll never forget your kindness. But I have  
to leave forever. We'll never meet again, the one person I might have  
called friend."

He walked directly into the restaurant.

As the Tardis started up, Tsubasa, dressed in nothing other than a torn  
dress, jumped out at the last second before it disappeared.

Tsubasa recognized the restaurant before him, cried out in joy, then kissed  
the ground for a while, crying out how he thought he would never make it  
home. Once he was finished with his crying, he went into the restaurant,  
payback on his mind.

It took a moment for Ryouga to realize where he had gone. He was about to  
turn around and leave when he found himself stopped in his tracks by the  
sound of Ukyou's voice.

"Morning, Ryouga," she happily greeted. "You made it. Nice threads by the  
way."

Ryouga was practically in tears. "You remember me!" He rushed up to her and  
began bowing. "I'm sorry. Sorry I failed you. I'll leave and never darken  
your doorway again."

Ukyou stared at him, confused. "What are you talking about? I told you I  
needed it by opening today. There's still two hours before we open."

It was Ryouga's turn to be confused. "What? But I..." It was then it  
occurred to him. Could it be? "What day is it?"

"Saturday."

Ryouga shook his head. "What month and year?"

Now Ukyou began to stare at him very strangely and told him.

Ryouga started crying. It was the same day he had left earth nearly a year  
ago. "He did it! He really did it!" Ryouga looked to the sky and began  
shouting. "Thank you! Thank you, Doctor!"

Ukyou began getting very nervous and fingered her large spatula. "Ryouga,  
you're starting to scare me."

"I'll explain everything later." Ryouga couldn't trust himself to clarify  
everything as excited as he was. He needed to calm down first.

"Where's the part?"

Ryouga stared at her, confused for a moment. It took him a moment to  
remember. "Right. The part."

He began going through the parts in his coat. He pulled out a variety of  
alien artifacts, but no part. He rummaged through his pack but had no luck  
there either. With nothing left to search through, he started raging at the  
ceiling.

"It's not fair! I saved the universe! I went to other times and planets!  
And all I wanted was...one...lousy...part!" He began smashing his head onto  
the cooking surface.

Ukyou got him to stop and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's all right.  
You tried, that's all I care about." She looked around for something to  
cheer him up. There had to be something, then her eyes fell upon the  
package. She picked it up and handed it to him. "Someone left this for you  
yesterday after you went to the shop. He said he was a friend."

Ryouga looked at it in confusion, wondering who even knew he had been  
staying at the restaurant. With only a momentary hesitation he ripped open  
the package. Inside was the missing oven part, along with a note:

See. I told you things would work out. But you should really be more  
careful with what you leave lying around. I nearly hooked this up to the  
Tardis.

There was no signature, not that it mattered. Ryouga looked up once more.  
"Thank you, Doctor."

It was at that moment that Tsubasa stormed in. Reflexively, Ukyou went for  
her spatula. "Tsubasa. How did you find me?"

Ukyou was amazed when Tsubasa ignored her and pointed to Ryouga.

"You! All I wanted was to set an ambush, but no! You had to ruin it! First  
I get lugged to some crazy skater's house; she thought I looked cute as a  
table. Then I get test fired by missiles. Then I spend weeks in a desert  
with no water. I still don't know how we survived. But all of that could  
have been forgiven. And then you sent me through time and space."

"Why aren't you in one of your stupid disguises?" Ukyou asked, still  
shocked at the diatribe laid upon Ryouga.

Tsubasa looked evilly towards Ryouga. "They were all blasted off of me by  
him!"

Ryouga finally spoke up. "Do I know you?"

Tsubasa began laughing insanely. "Do you know me? Do you know me? How could  
you forget your personal shield for all your adventures? I was the first  
thing you always threw at the enemy who was always firing at you. Do you  
know how hard it is to get back from being disintegrated?"

"No."

"Well its tough. But the absolute worst was those DAMN RABBITS! THEY CHEWED  
ON ME AND CHEWED ON ME FOR HOURS! THOSE CREATURES WERE SO STUPID, THEY  
COULDN'T EVEN TELL I WASN'T A VEGETABLE!"

Only one thing came to mind for Ryouga. "Umm, sorry?"

"That won't cut it!" Tsubasa warned. "At first, I was doing this for Ukyou.  
But now, I am going to hurt you for me-"

*WHAM*

Ukyou observed a spatula sized lump form on Tsubasa's head, then watched  
the unconscious body slump to the floor. She tied him up and threw him into  
a passing garbage truck. After going back inside, she just shook her head  
at Ryouga.

"Can you believe that guy? Traveling across time and space. He has really  
gone off the deep end."

Ryouga grinned sheepishly at that. "Ukyou, I have something to tell you  
about that. But first, could you make me one of those special  
okonomiyakis?"

"Sure, sugar. But I thought you had three of them yesterday."

Ryouga's gaze became distant. "It seems a lot longer than that." He felt a  
rare smile blossom in his face. "It feels good to be back home."

Epilogue

The girl in shrine maiden's robes stood at the top of a hill, looking down  
at Furinkan High. The evil she sensed lay in the school. There was no doubt  
of that. It was an evil that she would destroy, and if anyone got in the  
way, they would meet the same fate as well.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Special Thanks to:

Gary Kleppe  
Harold Ancell  
Lord Talon


	8. Ghost Posse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Ghost Sweeper enters the fray. And Akane remembers things she's rather forget.

Ranma ½ Presents:  
Shampoo ½

Standard Disclaimer:   
I don’t own any of this stuff. It is all the property of the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she leased the rights to.  
Ghost Sweeper Mikami is owned by someone else.

Chapter 8  
Do You Remember Me?

Akane found herself standing in the entryway of the Tendo House. She couldn’t remember how she got there, she was simply there. She looked around and realized something was disturbing her, something that was not quite…right. As she stood there it finally dawned on her, it was the house itself. It looked somehow different. It was difficult to make out the details on things, and it seemed to her there was a feeling of less color, as though everything was somehow drab and slightly off. A closer inspection revealed that things were out of place, some of the furniture looked different. She immediately spotted some new chairs in one of the rooms and a different coat rack from the one she was used to. But as different as they were, they also felt impossibly familiar. Her reverie was interrupted by the sounds of children’s laughter coming from upstairs. Maybe they had some idea of what was going on. Her mind went through the possibilites as she ascended the stairs. There was no way Kasumi could have done that much redecorating overnight. Her sister was a creature of habit, and would not have changed anything without mentioning it to someone. That pervert Happosai might have come done something, but this didn’t seem his style. Perhaps she simply wandered into someone else’s house. No, that didn’t make any sense either. There was too much she recognized. She was still running through the possibilities in her mind as she was almost to the top of the stairs. She heard small feet running around, and rushed up the last few steps in an attempt to see who was making the noise. When she arrived at the top there was no one to be seen. She turned and started to head towards one of the bedrooms when she heard the voice,   
“Hello there.”  
Akane looked back to see a woman standing where there was none a moment ago.   
“I couldn’t have missed her standing there, and there’s no where she could have been hidden. Where did she come from?” Akane did notice that rather than feeling panicked by the woman’s sudden appearance, she felt at ease. She saw no reason not to respond.  
“Hello.”

Akane tried to make out the woman’s face, but there seemed to be some sort of haze blocking out her features. An impossible amount in the space between her and the newcomer. The woman spoke again.

“Do you remember me?”

Her voice was soft and gentle. Akane didn’t fell the least bit frightened by the faceless woman’s interrogation. In fact, Akane found herself relaxing and wanting to answer her.   
“No. Should I?”

The woman’s tone took on a note of sorrow,   
“How sad. Perhaps you should ask someone who would remember. Someone older.”

Akane was confused. What was that supposed to mean? Older how? What difference would that make. She shook her head.  
“I don’t understand.”

The woman slowly raised her hand and carressed Akane’s face. It was a warm and gentle gesture, relaxing Akane further. She spoke once again. “I‘m sure it will all come back to you in time. When you’re ready.”

A loud noise suddenly erupted from all around. The noise was coming form the walls themselves. Everything started to become more and more hazy until it disappeared altogether, then there was light. Akane reflexively hit the button on the alarm.

“A dream. All of that was a dream. What the heck was that all about?”   
She paused for a moment to try and remember all that she could before it drifted from her mind. There was something about the house and children, and she distinctly remembered the encounter with the strange woman. She racked her mind to put a face with the voice. It was such a nice and pleasant voice she was sure she could remember it, but no one came to mind. She couldn’t waste anymore time, so she started getting ready for school.

Ukyou had already dressed in her boy’s school uniform. She exhaled a bit in frustration,. The source of it was Ryouga. His hair was an unruly mess and she was fighting a losing battle trying to put it in somewhat decent shape.

She looked the lost one over, “Come on Ryouga, work with me. You want to make a good first impression at school, right?” 

“I’m a little nervous.” In fact, he looked as though he was about to pass out. “It’s been so long since I’ve attended school. What if I can’t keep up? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I have to take swimming in gym? Can bats get A’s in Phys. Ed.?”

Ukyou wasn’t going to play into his panic, “We’ll get you out of it somehow. Now come on, or we’ll be late.” She grabbed his arm and raced out the door with him. As they went outside he made her stop after only a few steps.

“Wait.” He started to look around furatively, “Tsubasa may be out here. Look! There!” He pointed out a trash can. “That may be him.” He ruan over and demolished the can. It didn’t scream. “Hmm, guess not, but what about that?” He pointed out a mailbox, ran over and demolished it.

Ukyou looked at him uncertainly “Are you going to destroy everything between here and school?”

“We can’t take any chances with your safety. I’m going destroy everything between here and there if it will keep you safe from him.” Ryouga then demolished a telephone pole.

Ukyou gave a little smile, “That’s so sweet. Of course we’ll be late for school.” She shrugged, “Guess we’ll just have to leave earlier tomorrow.” She followed in the wake of Ryouga’s path of destruction.

Eventually the duo arrived at school just in time to see Shampoo-kun’s morning calestetics with the female population. Ukyou saw Akane and Ranma-chan observing the fight off to the side. Ranma-chan had Kunou already beaten and underfoot, twisting her foot every now and then when he threatened to come around. Ukyou waved at to the two watchers and joined them. She made the mistake of letting go of Ryouga’s arm and he started to drift away, fortunately she grabbed his arm before he ended up in Okinawa, again. Ukyou wlaked within earshot of the conversation Akane and Ranma-chan had started.

Akane had spoken first, “Did you hear they uncovered some old artifacts beneath the school?” Ranma-chan shook her head so Akane continued, “When those insane cheerleaders first arrived they tore up one of the basements. Underneath were some old relics or something. They’re keeping them in the basement until some archeologists can identify them.” Akane took notice of Ukyou and Ryouga coming over, “Hey, looks who’s coming!”

Ranma-chan started to smile and wav eat Ukyou, but the smiled died halfway on her lips when she saw Ukyou’s companion, “What’s he doing here?” She pointed to Ryouga.

Ryouga got defensive immediately, “I’m attending school now.”

Ranma-chan started to press, “And what makes you think you can even find your way here?”

Ryouga turned at looked at Ukyou, “Ukyou is helping me.”

Ranma-chan just looked to the gournd and shook her head, “Poor girl.”

Ukyou just shrugged, “I don’t mind.”

Ranma-chan observed the fight taking place in the schoolyard. The number of attackers had definitely dropped to about half of what there was the first day of discovering the dating ritual. Shampoo-kun finshed off the last of the attackers. Ranma-chan handed him his school bag and everyone entered the school.

The principal’s was sitting behind his desk. It was too early in the morning to have to deal with this sort of thing. The girl that was confronting him appeared to be a normal sixteen years old, wearing glasses, and had red hair. If it wasn’t for the shrine maiden’s outfit she was wearing he would have sworn she was an ordinary student. She was as rude and obnoxious as the majority of the student body. He decided to pay attention to what she was saying so he could nod his head and dismiss her.

“I tell you there is an evil presence in your school.” She was becoming more and more infuriated with the pirncipal’s laxadasical attitude. Didn’t he know there was danger?

“The students aren’t evil, just misguided.” It was a comment he heard frequently. What did they expect him to do. Discipline them?

The girl slapped her forehead, “I meant a supernatural evil. Didn’t you listen to a word I said?” 

In fact that had been part of the conversation he had tuned out. He rose up from behind his desk and walked forward to the girl. “And I tell you there isn’t any. If our school was haunted, don’t you think I would be aware of it?”

A mysterious smile crossed the girl’s face. She turned to go saying, “I’ll wait outside for your decision.” as she closed the door behind her.

The principal sat down, exhuasted already, “What a weird girl, she’d fit right in here. The school is haunted indeed.” He turned back to his desk and saw a disembodied head hovering above his desk, which was also levitating. “Then again, perhaps there is wisdom in her suggestion.”

At the homeroom there was still some time before class actually started. Most of the students had broken off into small groups discussing things with one another. Ukyou was talking with two such girls in one of the groups.

Sayuri looked directly at Ukyou, “So what’s up with the new guy?”

Ukyou was somewhat surprised by the change in topic, “I don’t know what you mean.”

Chisa didn’t buy it, “We saw you arrive with him and noticed you had your arm in his. So is he, like, your boyfriend or something?”

Ukyou began to blush. “No. Nothing like that.”

Sayuri’s eyebrows shot up, “Then he’s available?”

Ukyou’s face changed shades of red from embarrassment to anger. “I thought you wanted Ranma.”

“Well I do. But since I haven’t come close to beating him, and I haven’t had a date in a while, I thought I might play the field a bit.” Chisa dittoed her friend’s sentiment. Causing Ukyou to turn a deeper shade.

A little distance away Ranma-chan and Ryouga were having their own conversation.

“I can’t believe you’re making Ucchan take you to school every day. It’s like you’re a little kid or something.”

“She doesn’t mind. In fact, she volunteered. And don’t call her Ucchan.”

Ranma-chan shook her head, “She’s just taking pity on you. Just like when she hired you as a waiter.”

That really got Ryouga riled, he liked his job, “I do a fine job of waiting on tables.”

Ranma-chan gave him a flat stare, “Like when you were serving her food to another restaurant because you kept getting lost.”

Ryouga started to blush, “She told you about that?”

“Yep. I’ll bet she has to go pretty far out of her way for you. So where do you live now anyway? The Batcave?”

Ryouga finally had one on her, “Ha Ha. For your information she doesn’t have to go far at all. I live with Ukyou.”

The entire room instantly surrounded Ukyou’s and Ryouga’s desks.

“I don’t believe it.”

“You sly dog.”

“I think it’s shameful.”

“I wish I could live with a girl.”

“And here I thought Ukyou didn’t like guys since she didn’t go after Ranma. Turns out she has one on the side already.”

“So what’s she like? You know?”

Ukyou went back to her shade of red from embarrassment, “Wait a minute. It’s not like that.”

Ryouga became red too, “It’s totally innocent.” 

“He works for me…”

“…and I have trouble finding my way around…”

“…so it only makes sense…”

“…I’m even renting the room…”

“…it’s part of his pay.”

The room went silent as Godai-Sensai approached the two desks. He looked over the two of them intently. He nodded his head as if deciding on something, then turned to Ryouga.  
“So you are renting the room from her?” Ryouga nodded his head, “So that makes her your manager?” He nodded again. “I have a piece of advice to give you.”

Ryouga leaned forward intently, “Yes?”

“Whatever you do…”

“Yes?” Everyone leaned in to listen more closely.

“…do not let her…”

“Yes?” Everyone now joined in with Ryouga.

“…take tennis lessons.”

Everyone facefaulted.

Godai-sensai continued unaffected by the state of his class and delivered his monologue. “Oh sure. A tennis coaches may seem like nice, charming, rich, good looking kinds of guys. But inside, they are nothing but busybody, lowlifes, that interfere with normal people’s love lives. Stay away from them at all costs.”

In the next moment the robed girl stormed into the room. She looked all around the room until her eyes settled on Ranma-chan, then spoke up, “I sense the aura of magic around you girl. I see that your soul is being held by a man. You shall be released from those bonds.” She reached inside her robes and stuck a strip of paper that suspiciously looks like a large price tag between Ranma-chan eyes.

Ranma-chan looked cross eyed at it. “Am I on sale or something?”

The girl looked at the tag and took it off. “Damn! Thought I tore that off.” This time she put a ward between Ranma-chan’s eyes. Ranma-chan removed this one herself.

The newcomer stared in disbelief, “You can remove wards? What a powerful demon you are. We’ll try the direct approach.” She then pointed her finger at Ranma-chan. The finger began to glow. The girl waved it around and started forming a symbol in midair. The pattern remained glowing as her finger completed the symbol. “Begone demon!”

The symbol shot out a beam of light that engulfed Ranma-chan. She felt a force start to blow her backwards. The beam became brighter as Ranma-chan’s image was lost from view as everyone covered their eyes. The light faded and the symbol disappeared.

The girl gave a V for victory sign and began talking to no one in particular, “I have banished you to the nether regions you hellsp…WHAT?”

Ranma-chan was sitting there, apparently unaffected.

The girl was off guard only a moment, “So. You have some sort of resistance against banishment. Let’s try some more conventional magic.” She waved with her hands and shouted, “Repulsion!” A beam of force shot out from the girl’s hands, the force of which plowed desks to the side and picked Ranma-chan up and threw her into a wall. Ryouga was sitting at a desk that was blown out the window. Ukyou rushed over to it and looked out. She saw a pool below the window and that Ryouga had landed in it. 

Shampoo-kun got up and moved to strike the girl. “You hurt Ran…mean Shampoo. Now be hurt.”

The girl stared at Shampoo-kun “So you are possessed as well, by a girl, I see. Very well.   
She started making another symbol in midair. This action did not go over well with the majority of the females in class.

“She’s attacking Ranma. Let’s get her.” The women moved as one and dog piled on the girl.

The newcomer struggled to get out of the grasp, “He has you under a spell, I tell you. Let me free you.” She struggled further to no avail.

Godai-sensai applauded their actions, “Good work girls. You seem to have caught a terrorist.” As he finished the principal walked in. “Who’re you?”

The principal stared at him and identified himself. Godai faintly remembered seeing the man once when he was hired five months ago. The principal continued, “She’s no terrorist. Her presence here is at the behedst of the school. She’s going to take care of a, ah, ghost problem. Her name is Minami. Release her!” The girls reluctantly did so.

Akane moved closer to the girl, seeming to be somewhar in awe. “So what are you? A priestess?”

“I am no mere priestess. I am a ghost sweeper.” Minami struck the dramatic pose she had learned from her Ghost Sweeper supervisor.

Akane smiled, “I’ve heard of you. You were the one that rescued Tokyo from that Nosferatu.”

Akane managed to use the one comparison which would set Minami off, “That was Reiko Mikami. M…I…K…A…M…I. My name is Minami. I would appreciate it if you did not compare me to that aging mercenary cow.” She briefly considered frying Akane on the spot, but elected not to since innocent deaths counted against you in field tests. Something like minus ten points or some such.

Akane apologized, “Sorry. Wow! A genuine ghost sweeper.” She caught Minami muttering something under her breath. “What was that?”

Minami spoke up, “I said I am actually only a ghost sweeper in training. But one more demon and I’ll have enough points to become a full fledged ghost sweeper. So you see why I must banish them. I can clearly see these two,” She pointed to Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun), “are possessed.”

Ranma-chan spoke up, “I ain’t sad. I feel fine.”

“I said possessed, not depressed you moron. You’re being controlled by a demon.”

Akane took over, “You said it looks like a boy above her,” She pointed to Ranma-chan. “and a girl with him?” She pointed to Shampoo-kun.” Minami nodded. “I think I can explain this.”

It is at that moment that Ryouga flew into the room as a bat. Minami stared at him intently. Her face perked up a moment later. 

“A vampire! They’re worth double points!” She pulled out a hammer and stake and held them over her head as though she was about to hammer the stake into something. Namely Ryouga. She began running around the room chasing him. Fortunately for Ryouga, Ukyou jumped to his defense.

Ukyou held her spatula so as to cut off Minami’s pursuit. “You will not harm him.” She ggave Minami an evil glare.

Minami came to the obvious, and incorrect assuption, “I see. It has already bewitched you. I will free you from his influence.” She began gesturing for another spell.

“Wait!” Akane grabbed Minami by the hair, disrupting the spell. “You come with me.” She began dragging her off. “Ranma! Shampoo! Bat! Follow me!”

Ukyou joined the group as they made their way to a closet in the hall, where some of the emergency water supply Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun have stashed for quick changes. Inside there was a thermos of hot water next to a canteen of cold water. Everyone sat down, Akane finally letting go of Minami’s hair.

Akane turned to Minami. “Have you ever heard of Jusenkyou?”

Minami spoke up as though reading form a book, “Located in China, an area of many cursed pools, that, if you fall into one you become whatever drowned in it when doused with cold water, and hot water reverses the process. Right?” Akane nodded. “No.” Everyone facefaulted.

Ranma-chan was the first to recover, “What do you mean you never heard of it? YOu just described it exactly.”

Minami held up her hand in a warding gesture, “What I mean is I don’t believe in it. Who ever heard of a curse as stupid as th…”

Her voice trailed off as she watched Akane pour hot water on Ranma-chan, Shampoo-kun, and Ryouga. Ryouga immediately coversed up his private parts. 

“Clothes! Clothes! Only do that when my clothes are near.” Ryouga turned a deep shade of red.

“Oh shut up.” Ranma dumped a canteen of cold water on him. He then doused himself and Shampoo back to their school forms.

Ukyou stood up, “I’ll get his clothes. We’re going to have to leave several extra sets around here just in case.” She exited the closet and shut the door behind her.

Minami had been watching the events with her mouth wide open.

“You three actually went to Jusenkyou?” They nodded, “How stupid can you be? Ha Ha…” Her survival instinct kicked in and she stopped laughing when she saw everyone staring daggers at her.

Shampoo-kun: “Was accident.”

Ranma-chan: “Believe me. If I had know I would never have gone.”

“SKEEEE!” Bat for it’s all Ranma’s fault.

Minami stared at the trio, “So you aren’t possessed. That means the demonic energy I detected must be somewhere else.”

Ranma-chan looked at her suspiciously, “Are you saying this place is haunted?” (Minami nodded in agreement, “If this place were haunted then something weird, not relating to the three of us mind you, would be happening.” She opened the door and pointed out into the hallway without looking. “Do you see anything out of the ordinary?”

Ranma-chan noticed that the four of them are looking wide eyed in surprise. She turned to see what they were staring at. She was greeted by the sight of dozens of gym shorts walking down the hall in single file. No one being in them.

“O.K. Maybe there is something odd going on.”

Minami waved the four of them off, “You can all go back to class. I must investigate further.”

Once Ukyou returned with Ryouga’s clothes and he changed, they headed to their class. During the day, the walls moan, the pool fills with blood, objects move on their own. After school everyone leaves, terrified. Ukyou, Akane, Kunou, Ryouga, Shampoo-kun, and Ranma-chan, remained behind and surrounded Minami.

Kunou complained first, “Something must be done about this. My kendo club could not be held today due to the bokkens animating and attacking my members. If not for the “Blue Thunder” they would surely have fallen.” He gave a dramatic pose, lightning struck in the background.

Minami gazed admiringly, “Neat trick! Anyway, I’ve determined that the danger here is getting worse. It has been increasing geometrically since my arrival. I shudder to think of what it will be like by tomorrow.”

Ranma-chan looked seriously at the girl, “Is there anything we can do?”

“In a situation like this there is only one thing to do.” Minami looked the group over.

Ukyou finally asked, “Yes?”

“Ghost Posse.”

Later that night everyone arrived at the school but Ukyou and Ryouga. The group had changed into battle clothes and grabbed whatever weapons the take into combat. Ukyou finally arrived, apologizing immediately.

“Sorry it took so long.”

Ranma-chan smiled, “No problem. Where’s Fangs?”

Ukyou sounded embarrassed, “He’s coming.”

Ryouga appeared. He was wearing a duster, chaps, cowboy boots, and a leather cowboy vest. Everyone save Ukyou gave the Universal Takahashi symbol of surprise.

Ranma-chan was agahst, “What the heck is that for?”

Ryouga smiled, “I’ve watched American TV. I know what posses are supposed to wear.”

Ranma-chan looked at Ukyou. The cook gave a pleading look. “I tried to stop him. Really.”

Kunou placed his hands on Ranma-chan and Akane’s shoulders. “Akane Tendo, Shampoo. This is too dangerous for gentle creatures such as yourselves. Stay behind, where it is safe, and allow me to give you a parting embrace.” He began hugging them far too intimately.

Akane decided it was her turn, “The only danger around here is you.” She and Ranma-chan beat the tar out of him and left his broken form on the floor.

Minami looked the group over, “Is everyone prepared now?”

Ryouga spoke up again, “I think we should go over the basic Ghost Sweeper rules.”

Everyone looked towards Minami who appeared as confused as everyone else, “Rules?”

Ryouga continued, “Yes. Like, not thinking of giant marshmallow men. If someone asks you if you’re a god say yes. Don’t cross the beams.” 

Ranma-chan balled up her fist. “Please Ucchan.”

Ukyou nodded, “All right. But just this once.”

Ranma-chan struck Ryouga in the head. Hard.

“Why did you hit me?” Ryouga made a fist in Ranma-chan’s direction.

Ukyou stepped in, “Because you were embarrassing yourself Ryouga.” That managed to come the human bat down.

Minami saw that the group was as ready as it was going to be, “We shall begin. Everyone stay close together. And whatever you do don’t separate.”

The group started walking down the halls, weapons drawn. Minami in the lead. They peered into every room as went by.

Minami: I have been giving this much thought. I suspect that what we are dealing with is a Sanslaygh, They’re better known as fear eaters. Basically it’s an empathic feeder that drains emotions from humans. The only thing it can live on is fear though. It usually employs spirits to do its dirty work. I also warn you that it has the ability to alter your perceptions in order to create a fear reaction. You’ll find yourself confronted with the impossible and believing it.” She looked over her group more closely, “It might actually be worse for you people since you tend to accept the unusual as commonplace. Just stay close to me and you won’t have anything to worry about.” She didn’t continue with the “probably” that followed in her mind.

Ukyou suddenly realized someone was missing, “Where’s Ryuoga?”

Ranma-chan stared at her, “You sound surprised he got lost. Why didn’t you cuff him to yourself, or put a bell on him or something?”

Minami turned and faced the group. “Well that took record time. We have got to do better than this. We haven’t even seen a ghost yet.

Akane stared Bug-eyed, “G…G…Ghost.”

Exasperation crept into Minami’s voice, “Yes. We haven’t seen a ghost. Would you like me to say it more slowly so you understand?” At this point she realized everyone’s eyes were bugging out at something behind her. She allowed a small smile to creep across her face, “Oh I see. I can handle a ghost.” She pulled out a ward and turned. “Spirit! You now face Ghost Sweeper, in training, Minami.”

She was confronted by a horde of about fifty ghosts inn front of her.

“Maybe I should wait a little longer for that promotion.”

She bolted, as did everyone else. The ghosts gave pursuit. After running for several minutes Ranma-chan pulled up next to Minami.

“Do Something!”

“Like what?”

“You’re the ghost sweeper.” 

“ Oh yeah. You’re right.” She spoke up to everyone. “Lets make a stand.”

Everyone stops and turned to confront the ghosts. Minami pulled dozens of wards from her robes and hurled them at the ghosts. Each ghost disappeared as the mystic symbols touched them. Ranma-chan leapt up and started punching the spirits. Surprisingly the attack worked and the ghosts dissolved. Ukyou used her spatula, and Shampoo-kun her bonbori. The same thing happened to the other ghosts. Soon the room was clear.

Ranma-chan was breathing heavily, “That was a lot easier than I thought. Wouldn’t you agree Akane?” She looked around, but saw no Akane. “Great! Now she’s gone. Guess I’d better find her.”

“I’m going to find Ryouga. He might need help.” Ukyou walked off.

Shampoo-kun stared at Ranma’s retreating form. He looked down to the ground, and then walked off in the opposite direction.

Minami spoke to the empty room, “I am sooo glad you all took that advise about staying together so seriously. I hope you all get eaten alive.”

Ryouga hadn’t drifted too far off. HE was wandering around one of Furinkan’s corridors.

“She told us to stay together and everyone left. What a dumb ghost sweeper.”

A large ghost, bearing a huge mouth, long sharp fangs, and pustule like skin, charged at Ryouga from out of the darkness at the far end of the corridor. Ryouga stood his ground. and punched the ghost as it got right in front of him. It stopped from the impact. “I know it’s you Tsubasa. Get out of that stupid costume.” He pried open the creature’s jaws and stuck his head inside, looked around. “Well I guess he isn’t in here after all.” He pulled his head out and walked on. The ghost remained behind, staring at Ryouga’s retreating form, with his mouth still agape.

Minami was finishing off another in a series of ghosts. They all stopped and suddenly disappeared into the walls. 

“Now what are they up to?”

Ukyou strode the halls, spatula drawn.

“Where did the ghosts go? And where’s Ryouga?”

Ukyou suddenly felts a sharp pain in her head that disappeared instantly. She looked up and saw Ryouga emerge from one of the rooms. He was in his standard clothes and not his posse outfit. He saw Ukyou and gave a disgusted look.

“Ryouga. I’m glad I found you. Ghosts were attacking. You all right?”

He looked at her disdainfully. “Of course.” He began walking quickly away. Ukyou had to hurry to catch up.

“Wait up!” She hurried and caught up. “Why are you in such a hurry?” No answer. Ukyou worry at the change in attitude of her companion. “I can’t believe there are ghosts in this school.”

Ryouga finally stopped and turned to Ukyou. “You know what I can’t believe? That a wanna be boy like yourself thinks she has any chance with a guy like me.”

Ukyou recoiled, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh come off it! You hang all over me. You hire me even though I get lost going to the bathroom. You pay me an outrageous wage. You let me stay at your restaurant for next to nothing.”

Ukyou looked very scared, “No! It’s not like that.”

Ryouga sneered, “It’s exactly like that. You even changed the name of the store just because I called you Uk-Chan once. Once!”

Ukyou voice started to crack, “I…I wanted to change it.”

He began grinning evilly. “And all this just because I called you pretty. You’re so pathetic. You know, there is a reason why no one else ever called you pretty. You’re ugly. Even your fiancee dropped you because of it. Wearing boy’s clothes was just an excuse to hide. It makes it so much easier to pretend that you aren’t repulsive by intentionally making yourself that way it. Did you know Ranma told me he was glad you didn’t want to be engaged to him anymore? He was afraid he’d get sick having to be around you.”

Ukyou started to cry, “That’s not true. Why are you saying that?”

Ryouga didn’t let up, “Shampoo laughs at you for being weak. Akane pities you for your pathetic life. And I only hang around because you give me everything. Face facts girl, I’m just using you.” He started to laugh.

Ukyou huddled into a ball on the floor crying and mumbling that it isn’t true. Ryouga smirked and looked extremely satisfied.

Elsewhere Ryouga was walking around in his posse outfit, searching for something.

“Where did everyone wander off to?” He sighed, “Maybe I should change into a bat and find them.”

He felt a pain shoot through his skull. It left as quickly as it came. He continued walking until he saw Ukyou at the end of the hall. She waved to him just as Ranma-kun appeared, as if from nowhere, next to her. She was then picked up by Ranma. Ukyou was squirming trying to get out of his grasp. Ranma laughed and smiled at Ryouga.

“I’ll keep her company tonight. After all, I am her fiancee.” He ran off. Ukyou protesting.

“Let her down Ranma! Fight like a man!”

Ryouga pursued until he came upon a labyrinth that mysteriously appeared in the middle of the school. He saw Ranma carrying the still squirming Ukyou.

“Catch me if you can, Batboy.”

Ukyou continued kicking, “Ryouga save me!” Ranma entered the maze.

Ryouga started to really panic. How was he going to rescue her from within the maze. He continued onward into the labyrinth. Once inside, Ryouga heard Ranma and Ukyou but couldn’t see them. He could swear they were just ahead of him but he never catches sight. After an unknown period of time he started to lose hope.

“The only way I can find them is if I change.”

He started looking around for a some cold water and surprisingly found a bucket of the stuff. He dumped it over his head. No change.

“What’s going on?”

Ranma’s disembodied voice came from seemingly everywhere. “Oh, what’s the matter? Batboy can’t change. Ain’t that just too bad. The one time that stupid curse could come in handy and it doesn’t work. Guess you don’t have any excuses. You’re going to have to find her on your own. That should take what, ten, twenty years? Plenty of time for Ucchan and I to become better acquainted since we haven’t seen each other in so long.”

Ukyou’s voice seemingly from all around as well. “Ranma what are you doing? Stop. Please don’t do that.” Her voice started to sob.”

“UKYOU!!!” He started shattering walls at a breakneck pace trying to find Ukyou. Tears started to form in his eyes.

Shampoo-kun was walking through another part of the school. He felt a pain shoot through his head and pass just as quickly as it did for the others. He entered a room only to discover that it is no classroom. Inside was a huge building that was full to the rafters with people, mostly women in Amazon garb. A huge dais sat in the middle of the room and at the far end there appeared to be a large raised judges bench. It sat high enough so the people sitting there could look down on everyone else to the room. Shampoo looked down to see that she had change back to her female type without the benefit of warm water. She looked at the room again.

“The Hall of Judgement!”

Two powerful Amazons grabbed her arms and placed shackles on them. She is quickly grabbed and shackled before the tribunal before her. She was thrown onto the dais alone. Cologne sits in the highest seat at the bench. She pounds a gavel for silence.

“Is there anyone who wishes to say anything before sentence is passed on this…man?” The last was said with loathsome contempt.

Shampoo wasnt; going to give up, “I want to speak!”

One of the other members spoke. “We cannot hear your voice” She spoke to the two women beside Shampoo. “Gag him, and let judgment be passed!”

Shampoo was gagged as a large woman came forth with an even larger ax. 

Ranma-chan wandered through the corridors looking for Akane, calling out her name every now and then. 

“Where did that uncute tomboy get to now? Baka!” She sounded more concerned than her words indicated. Ranma-chan felt a pain go through her head like the others. It disappeaed as quickly as well. She entered a room and came face to face with Ranma-kun. He is wearing the same outfit she is, red top and blue pants.

Ranma-chan went into a defensive posture. “Who the heck are you supposed to be?”

Ranma went into an identical posture. “Ranma Saotome. And you?”

“Back up pal. That’s my name.”

Ranma sneered back, “Try again. Ranma is a guy. You are a girl.”

Look buddy. I don’t know what you think you’re trying to pull but I’m the real one. I’m a guy too.”  
She looked around and found a bucket of hot water sitting next to her.  
“Watch.”   
She dumped the water over her head, resulting in no change. She looked down at herself hopelessly confused.

Ranma sneer changed to a smirk, “See I told you. Ranma is a guy. You are just some pathetic girl having delusions.”

Ranma-chan balled up her fists. “No I’m not! I’m going to beat the truth out of you!” She threw a punch which her male counterpart easily blocked. Ranma-chan threw two more punches which Ranma easily blocked. Ranma looked down at the girl with even more contempt.

“You can’t beat me. But don’t worry, I’ll tell you the truth. The truth is, you were never much of a man to begin with. You get nervous around women. You avoid responsibility like your old man. You don’t even try to think. You can’t even win the heart of your own fiancee.” He smiled at the girl. “Let me take over. I will do a much better job.”

“The hell you will!”

Ranma shrugged, “Not convinced? Let’s ask some others.” 

Family members start appearing from the darkness behind Ranma.

Genma began, “He’s right. The son I raised would be more responsible.”

Soun continued, “A real man would have won Akane’s heart.”

Kasumi looked disdainfully at Ranma-chan, “He really is a better man than you are little girl.”

“Too bad you can’t figure out a way to get rid of this curse. Anyone else would have solved the problem by now.” Nabiki threw in.

Shampoo giggled, “You just weak little girl. Even Mousse better than Ranma girl type.”

Somehow that hurt Ranma-chan more than the others. But the worst was yet to come.

Akane snuggled under Ranma’s arm. She spoke dreamily. “Now here is a real man.” She turned her attention to Ranma-chan. “Why don’t you run off and play little girl?”

Her laugh began the torrent of chuckleing that came form the others.

Ranma-chan held her hands over ears trying to shut out the noise. “No. It’s not true. I am a man. I AM A MAN!”

One floor below Akane heard someone the scream from above.

“That sounded like Ranma. I think that’s everyone I heard scream.” Her voice indicated just how on edge she was. “What is happening to everyone? I hate this.” 

She took a deep breath.

“Got to pull myself together. No more running.”

She felt a sharp pain in her head like the others. It passes as well. She exited the room and came face to face with Ranma-kun. 

Akane was relieved, “Oh thank goodness I found you.”

Ranma just gave her a disdainfull look, “Yeah. Whatever.”

That changed Akane’s tune in a hurry, “You could at least act like you’re happy.”

Ranma now became openly angry towards Akane, “Why would I be happy? Do you know how much I hate being engaged to you? Look at you. You are ugly, clumsy, dress badly, and can’t do a single thing like a normal girl could.”

“Why you…” Her diatribe was cut short. As Ranma began screaming in her face.

“SHUT THE HELL UP! If you think I’m going to let you hit me, think again. You know I am a better martial artist than you and I can clean your clock anytime I want. All you know how to do is abuse. No wonder I don’t love you.

Akane suddenly felt shame-faced, “That’s not why I…”

“I said shut up! You can’t do anything. Kasumi would make the perfect wife through her gentleness and homemaking abilities. Nabiki at least has some intelligence, which she uses. But you, all you have is martial arts, and now everyone around you is better at it than you are. I can’t believe I got stuck with you.”

Akane voice started to crack, “I am a good martial artist.”

Ranma scoffed, “You are so good that your own father has no faith in you. Why else would he be so desperate to pawn you off on some guy he never even met? Admit it. He wants a guy to run the dojo so you won’t lead it down the tubes. You are the one he wants to get rid of. You are the only one that really is useless.”

Akane: began crying, “I am not!”

“Oh, is that so? Let’s see. You have a fiancee who doesn’t love you. A father that has no faith in you. Sisters that view you as so much excess baggage.” He held his arms out. “Congratulations! You are officially worthless.”

Akane felt herself breaking down. She started curling up into a ball like Ukyou did earlier. “I am not worthless. I am not.”

Akane’s mind, like the others, started to drift back on a journey of denial. There was an unexpected stop, however. She opened her eyes and saw that everything has changed. She was in a hospital room sitting next to a bed. There was a woman in the bed, but Akane could not make out the face because of a haze that is like the one form her dream earlier. The woman began to speak. It was the same voice from the previous dream.

The woman sounded weak and very sad. “Akane. There you are. How are you?”

Akane was unsure, “I’m okay.”

The woman had a coughing fit, then continued. “Akane. I have to tell you something.”

Akane felt a surge of sadness begin to overwhelm her. Tears formed at her eyes unbidden, “Yes.”

“There may be a time, not so far off, when I may not be able to help you. I wish with all my heart I could be there for you, but I can’t.”

The tears that had started to form began to fall. “Don’t…”

The woman silenced her, “Listen. There is something I want you to do for me. You have to be strong. Your sisters and father are going to need your strength very much, as much as you will need theirs. Just because you are the youngest does not mean you can’t help.” She had another caughing fit worse than the others. The sadness in her voice deepened, “Oh! I wish there was some way I could be here longer. Of all the girls you still have the most to learn. In many ways you will have it the hardest. You probably won’t understand any of this for a long time, but listen to me, and believe what I say. You will never be alone. A part of me will always be with you. Draw strength from the fact that there will always be someone who loves you no matter what happens, no matter what you do, no matter where you go. Remember.”

The scene began to fade. Akane tried to stay but there was nothing she could do. She opened her tear filled eyes to see the room from the school. She heard Ranma still ranting about how useless she is. Akane stood up. 

“And another thing…” It was “Ranma’s” turn to be cut off.

Akane looked down at the ground and spoke quietly, “Shut up.”

Ranma was taken aback, “What?”

Akane applied a bit for edge to her voice, “Shut up!”

“Why you…”

Murder glared in her eyes as she finally looked him in the face. “I SAID BE QUIET! IT IS MY TURN!”

She stalked over to Ranma, “I am not worthless. I know I am not perfect, but I try hard. My sisters love me and I love them. They aren’t perfect either, but we complement each other very well. We aren’t just carbon copies of one another. Each of us has unique gifts that we make the most of. My martial arts are good, but Ranma’s is better. That just means I have a goal to shoot for. Why do you think I’ve been training so hard? You may also be right about Ranma not loving me. I don’t even know if I love him. Until I get that sorted out I’m not going to worry a great deal about it. You may even be right about daddy and the dojo. He can be positively archaic about some things, and he might not believe a girl can run the dojo. But you listen to me and listen to me well. He may think I can’t run it but I KNOW I CAN. His concerns are secondary to the truth. I don’t need a husband for that.” Akane felt a sharp pain in her head identical to the one from before. 

“STOP THAT! It’s too late. You thought you could confront me with my fears, but all you did was hit me with a few of my insecurities.” 

She grabbed Ranma by the collar and started talking much more softly, yet sounded even more dangerously,   
“Would you like to know what real fear is all about? Would you? Real fear is the first time you realize the world is a harsh place that no one can protect you from. Real fear is when you discover that those you love and thought were invincible are just as helpless as you are. Real fear is when you watch a loved one slowly wither away until there’s nothing left but a dried out husk, and all the hope and love in the world won’t bring them back. Understanding reality. That is the greatest fear of all.” 

She finally lets him go.

“Now get out of here before you make me do something you will really regret.”

Ranma disappears as though he never existed at all. Akane walked out of the room. She heard some noise come from the basement below her. Curiousity wins out and she enters the first level boiler room to see a huge, bright light at the far end of the room. The glare prevented her from seeing what might be there. Minami was drawing an elaborate circle on the ground with chalk. She paused to look up at Akane. 

“So you were the one that did it.” She lets out a low whistle.

Akane was confused, “What do you mean?”

“That thing,” Minami pointed to the light. “was reeling in pain a little while ago. You must have done something nasty to him. He was hit pretty hard. “

Akane gave a small smile, “It tried to use some fears against me. I stood up to him.”

Minami looked impressively before giving a soft chuckles, “Talking back to a Fear Eater. You’d make a pretty tough ghost sweeper. If you ever want to become one, I’ll put in a good word for you.”

Akane raised her hands defensively, “No thanks. I’ve had enough ghosts to last a lifetime. What did it do to you?”

“It tried to terrify me with a bully from fourth grade. I was worried for a moment, but then I remembered he was a toad.”

“Yeah. Guys like that are just jerks. I’m glad you remembered what a loser he was.”

Minami shook her head, “You misunderstand. I don’t mean the guy was like a toad, I mean I turned him into one. He pushed me too far one day, so the next he was eating flies. Poor Sentaro. He really should have learned to keep his mouth shut.”

Akane was taken aback a bit by her newfound friend’s confession. “Remind me not to get on your bad side. Now, how can I help?”

Minami looked at her, “Just stay where you are. It regards you as indigestible material. Your mere presence hurts this thing plenty.”

Minami finished the circle. She stood in the center and began to chant. Her body begans to hover above the ground and give off an iridecent glow. The circle releaseda burst of energy into the ceiling and winked out. The light across the room went out as well. Minami floated back down. Akane stared on.

“Neat. Is that it?”

Minami shook her head, “Yep. That thing is history.”

Tentacles sprang out from across the room and grabbed Minami. With the light gone there is unrestricted view of what the creature really looks like. It is a repulsive thing with dozens of green tentacles and a huge bloodshot eye in the middle.

Minami started to panic, “This isn’t possible. It’s a Sanlsaygh, that circle always works against them.”

Minami managed to reach into her robes and grab a ward. She touched the tentacles with it. Smoke rose where it touched the creature and the tentacles released her. She hurled several other wards at it, keeping it at bay.

Minami shook her head in confusion, “I don’t understand. The only way it could stay was if it was summoned, or it has an anchor. I would have spotted any summoning circles. That must mean…” She snapped her fingers “Akane come here.”

Akane walked over. Minami chanted something and placed her hand over Akane’s eyes. Akane felt a burning sensation come over her, as thought something was melting eyeballs. The heat passes but her eyes still feel distant, almost as though something else was seeing through them. She drew back.

“What did you just do?” She felt nauseated by the feeling that she was now sure was inside her eyes.

Minami pulled out a ward. “Does this glow?” Akane nodded in the affirmitive. “Then the spell took. You can see enchanted objects now. I need you to find a glowing object and destroy it. That is this creature’s anchor. Once it is gone I can banish it.”

Akane agreed. The sooner she got rid of the feeling the better. “Where is it?”

“It has to be nearby. Given the Sanslaygh’s position, I would say it lies beyond that corridor.”   
Minami pointed to a door that was very close to the monster. There was no other way into the corridor. Akane ran for it at top speed. The creature shot out a dozen tentacles to snare her just before she’d make it to the corridor, but they were seared off by a white beam of light from Minami’s hands. Minami pulls out a small hilt as Akane makes it to the corridor beyond. Minami’s hilt produces a black blade of ebony energy.

“You remind me of my last boyfriend. He was all clutchy and grabby too. That’s why I had to use this on him.” She indicated the sword. “Now, why don’t we cut off a few of those sucker filled appendages you worthless piece of ectoplasm.” Minami leapt into the fray.

Akane was in the hallway behind the room. She was looking desperately around for something, anything that glows. Her eyes finally rested upon a table next to a hole in the ground with huge piles of dirt around it. There was tape marking off the hole and a sign saying to stay away from the excavation. Akane saw several objects next to a sign that said do not touch. All of them objects looked unclean, obviously having been recently dug up. She saw a glowing blue bracelet on the table. 

Akane picked up the object. “This must be it. Now to break it.”

She placed the bracelet upon a cinderblock, and drew back her hand to deliver a chop. The blow was strong and breaks not only the bracelet in half, but the block underneath it as well. As she lifted up the pieces she realized they no longer glow.

Minami sensed the anchor’s destruction. She ran back to the circle and repeated the process. This time the creature vanished after then spell is cast. Akane came into the room with the shattered pieces of bracelet. Minami examined it. After a few moments she makes an announcement.

“It’s a shard’al.”

Akane looked confused, “It’s a what?”

“An ancient magic device used to summon Sanslaygh’s.”

Akane was incredulously, “Who would want to do that?”

“As part of the rights of passage into adulthood for some cultures, they would make a youth confront his fears by summoning a Sanslaygh. If the youth passed it then he would officially be recognized as an adult. It was never too popular though. Too dangerous.”

Akane looked at her wide-eyed, “Why would anyone be crazy enough to do that?”

Minami gave Akane a sober look. “It is a terrible trial, but if you can confront your fears, it can change you. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Akane allowed the information to sink in and then nodded her head in agreement.

Minami spoke up, “Let’s get the others.”

Realiaztion hit Akane, “Ranma!” She ran off.

After a while the others were gathered up. All of them appeared shaken in their confrontations and the group was unusually quiet. Shamed glances were given to one another. Only one was unaffected by the events. Well, only one wasn’t depressed by the events.

“Hot damn! I am officially a ghost sweeper. I gotta call dad.” She grabbed a pay phone and made a call. “Hi. Dad. I did it. I banished the demon. Sanslaygh with an anchor. Tough one.” She paused. “Great you’ll process the paper work.” She paused again, “Yes, now I can…What? You can’t be serious. What do you mean there’s more to life than being a ghost sweeper? No there isn’t. I won’t do it.” She paused once more as the others heard incoherent shouting emitted from the phone. “But it’s not fair.” She finally reluctantly acedes to the demands, “I’ll do it but I won’t like it.”   
She slammed the phone down, then cast a spell vaporizing it.

Ranma-chan spoke the question on everyone’s minds. “What’s wrong?”

“I am officially a member of Furinkan High. I’m going back to school. Dad thinks I need an education.” (Minami railed up to the heavens. “I don’t need an education. You don’t need to be smart to banish ghosts. All you need are circles and wards. WAAAAA!” She started crying. The others elected to leave her there rather than accidently get hit with one of her spells.

Several hours after the others returned, Akane entered the Tendo kitchen. The object of her search was indeed there as Kasumi was cooking dinner.

Akane was uncertain how to begin, “Sis. I need to ask you a favor. I’ll understand if you don’t want to do it though.”

Kasumi turned to smile at Akane. She turned back to the oven and said, “Don’t be silly. Ask away.”

Akane spoke barely above a whisper, “Could you tell me about…Mom?”

Kasumi stopped as though struck by a bolt of lightning. She didn’t turn around but rather spoke to Akane with her back to her.

“What do you want to know?”

“What she was like, I mean really like. What you thought of her. What she looked like. I started remembering a little bit, but it’s all hazy. I don’t think I felt up to facing it before now, but I want to remember. Please.”

Kasumi turned. A slight look of sadness was in her face. Despite this she smiled. “Of course. Let me put on some tea. This might take a while.”

The talk went on until the next morning.

Epilogue

The control tower crew at Nerima gathered around the radar. Everyone looked intently at it. One of the controllers spoke up.

“That’s the flight. Right?”

The one sitting at the console spoke up, “Yes. It is. Put the ground crew on stand by.”

A different man spoke up. “Do you think their going to land safely?”

The tower chief added his opinion, “Nakajima is one of our best pilots. He won’t crack.”

The object of their concern touched down without a problem. Ground crews placed the stairs next to the palne to disembark the passengers. The first two off were a girl.

End Notes: I didn’t give a full description of Minami. She is heavily patterned after Sakura Yamazaki from Blue Seed. (Pretty good anime.) Minami is just a little heavier and not as pretty.


	9. Revenge is a Plant Best Served Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kodachi is back and looking for revenge for beloved Mousse. A kidnapping that really isn't occurs.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2

Chapter 9  
Revenge is a Plant Best Served Cold

D.B. Sommer  
Any C+C welcome  
Standard Disclaimer:  
All the Ranma 1/2 characters are not owned by me. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she leased the rights to.

What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the Beginning, the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou and began sparring, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision, and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. [So Ranma/Ranma-kun= male. Ranma-chan= female. Shampoo/ Shampoo-chan= female. Shampoo-kun= male.] Shampoo elects to travel to Japan with Ranma and ends up briefly engaged to Kasumi. After that is taken care of, Ranma is engaged to Akane. Water and confusion mix on the first day of school and everyone believes Ranma-chan is Shampoo and Shampoo-kun is Ranma. Last chapter, a demon had attacked "Team Ranma" using their fears against them. Only Akane managed to conquer her fear and helped the newly arrived Ghost Sweeper, Minami defeat the creature. Now Mousse and Kodachi have finally made their way back to Japan after being shipped around the world by Ranma and Shampoo. Now they have revenge on their minds...

Note: * * denotes panda "sign" language

It was a humid day on the streets of downtown Nerima. Akane and Minami were strolling the street, window shopping and having a pleasant conversation. The two had hit it off pretty well since the fight with the Sanslaygh, and had been spending a great deal of time together. Akane finally got around to what she had wanted to ask the Ghost Sweeper.

"So, what do you think of school?"

Minami looked Akane in the eye and smiled, "I like hanging around normal people my own age well enough. Now if only I could get rid of the school work."

Akane was about to comment on how much she sounded like Ranma when a chain whipped out from above and snared Minami, pinning her arms to her sides, and pulled her up to the top of a nearby building. Akane stared upward and spotted Mousse on the top of the building, balancing himself atop a unicycle. The Chinese warrior tucked the entangled Ghost Sweeper under his arm.

"I have you now Akane Tendo!"

Minami wasn't especially happy about the mix up and allowed her abductor to know it,  
"I am not Akane!"

Akane shook her head, "She's right. That isn't me."

Mousse adjusted his glasses and took a much closer look at Minami. He then looked back down at the street towards Akane.

"I see. Sorry."

He whipped out another chain from his sleeve and encircled it around the large statue of Cthulhu which sat in the center of Nerima. He pulled it up as well, and placed it under his arm. Judging by his discomfort, Akane figured he was about one minute away from blowing out a disc in his spinal column.

"When did *huff* you put on so much weight Akane?"

She started to glow with anger, then, realizing who she was dealing with, gave up.

"It's those between meal snacks."

"You may want to cut those out," Mousse gasped again. He somehow managed to cycle off with Minami and the statue under his arms. Akane sighed quietly to herself. If Mousse was back in town it meant trouble for her and the others. She decided to locate Ranma and Shampoo and inform them about the blind panda's return.

Mousse arrived an hour later at the greenhouse he and Kodachi were using since their return to Nerima. He still found it remarkable that she had managed to convert the entire thing into a tropical jungle in the first week since their arrival. The jungle itself was lush and ominous, with waterfalls, tall trees, and exotic animals laced throughout, making one believe they had been transported to the very heart of South America. He allowed his mind to drift back to the time he and Kodachi had traveled up the Amazon River and nearly got hijacked by river pirates. He abruptly broke off the pleasant memory, there was no time for reminiscing, he had revenge to seek, and he wanted to inform his partner of the mission's success. He located Kodachi, who was busy grooming one of her new plants that had just arrived. The gymnast heard Mousse arrive and examined his two captives.

"This is not Akane Tendo, Mousse darling," she pointed to Minami, "nor is this." She examined the statue more closely, a smile creeping across her face, "but it does possess a certain sort of charm. We shall leave it in the center if the greenhouse for all to enjoy. Now Mousse, you know we must capture Akane Tendo. You do want revenge on that Ranma Saotome, and I am certain he will fall into our trap if we hold his fiancee hostage." The Black Rose began grinning evilly, "Perhaps we will be fortunate enough for that wicked Shampoo to join him. I would like to give her a taste of my vengeance as well."

Mousse interrupted to cut off the direction the conversation started to take. Kodachi seemed very single minded when it came to Shampoo, and that didn't sit well with him, "I already told you, this isn't about Shampoo. I won't let you harm her. The two of us are destined for one another." He looked to the sky as though waiting for a response. No bolt of lightning struck him, so he took it there were no objections.

"Mousse-sama, you're talking to the statue," he adjusted his glasses to discover he was, and moved closer to Kodachi. "My poor, poor darling, when will you realize I am the one for you and not that purple haired harlot?"

Mousse sighed. Talking to Kodachi was one thing, getting her to listen was another. "Let me make this clear to you one more time: I want revenge on Saotome. You volunteered to help me out. I did not ask for assistance, nor will I let you harm Shampoo," he emphasized the last part of his statement.

Kodachi, naturally, listened only to the parts of the conversation she wanted to hear. "Of course I am going to help you my dearest. What one of us does, the other will follow. That is what true love is all about."

Mousse sighed again, "I'm really not getting through to you, am I?"

"The course of true love rarely is without difficulties. I will stand by your side until you come to your senses."

Mousse threw up his hands in disgust, "I give up!" He really felt like ramming his head into the nearest blunt object to relieve some of his frustration.

Back at the Tendo Dojo, a large object was attempting to stealthily creep around the inside of the house. Genma paused at a corner of the doorway to the kitchen, listened, and then slowly peeked around it. Once he ascertained the room was clear, he tiptoed into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, whispering softly.

"Come to me precious."

He rifled through the appliance and pulled out a large dish full of food. He continued sneaking about until he made it out the door of the dojo and gave a mad dash for freedom.

"Now all of this is mine. HAHAHAHA!"

Back inside the kitchen, Kasumi walked in and opened the door to the refrigerator, searching within for the missing item.

"Now where did Akane's food go?"

Out on the streets of Nerima, Mousse had finally come up with a plan to (successfully) kidnap Akane. The most reasonable place to find her would be the Tendo Dojo. Having nothing better to do he started ranting to himself.

"Saotome's a dead man. No one kidnaps Shampoo, turns me into a panda, and gets away with it. And that's not to mention being shipped off..." His voice trailed off for a moment, then began again, sounding less angry. "Well, traveling around the world was kind of nice and interesting. If only it could have been with my Shampoo." The voice picked up a tone of anger again, "He's the one responsible for keeping us apart. But this trap will change everything. We still need Akane as..." He was cut off as a little old lady with a bucket splashed him with water. Mousse-panda continued his rant in "sign language."

*...bait and must capture her at all costs. HAHAHAHAHA!*

Kasumi was busy cleaning, worrying about what happened to the food. No one was sick and it wasn't likely to have wandered off on its own. Unless, somehow, Akane had made a dish that had become alive. Given her sister's abilities in the kitchen it wasn't likely, but not really impossible either. Kasumi considered watching over her more closely, just in case, when she heard the doorbell chime. Kasumi made her way to the door, and opened it. She discovered Mousse-panda waiting for her, bearing a sign which read,

*I have you now Akane Tendo!*

Kasumi smiled at the mistake, "Oh silly. I'm not Akane."

Mousse-panda adjusted his glasses, *You're not?*

"No. Now, exactly why did you want Akane?"

*I just needed to kidnap her so Ranma would come after her and fall into my trap. She isn't here, is she?*

"No, she isn't," Kasumi paused for a moment, "I'll tell you what I can do though. Ranma and I get along pretty well. If you take me, he would probably come."

*Are you sure you don't mind?*

"Of course not. Just let me grab a few things. Come inside and get some hot water while you wait." She ushered the panda inside and showed him the kitchen while she went upstairs to pack some necessities. Passing Nabiki's open door, she observed her sister laying on her bed, looking bored and reading a magazine. The second time she passed by Nabiki took notice.

"What's going on?"

Kasumi smiled, "I'm being kidnapped. Would you like to come along?"

Nabiki gave her sister a flat stare. "You've got to be kidding," she commented dryly, and returned to paging through her magazine. "I am perfectly happy reading," she paused in thought for a moment, then got up from her bed. "Oh, who am I trying to kid? If I get any more bored I'm going to slip into a coma. I guess I'll come along," she grabbed a few things and joined Kasumi, who had been waiting patiently for her. "Who's grabbing us?"

"Mr. Mousse. You know, the one that turns into that cute panda."

"I know who Mousse is," she replied out loud. She then thought, "This situation might prove profitable. Mousse ranks up there with Ranma in the brains department ."

Once downstairs, Kasumi informed her now human abductor of the change in plans.

"My sister is coming along. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all."

Nabiki looked Mousse over, "So how much are you ransoming us for?"

Mousse became confused, "Ransom?"

"Yes. When you kidnap someone, you generally hold them for ransom," Nabiki replied in a tired voice.

Mousse started to scratch his head, "Actually, we just want Ranma to come and rescue you."

Nabiki held her hand before her, grossly insulted. "I beg your pardon. You are not kidnapping me and not asking for a large ransom. Let me see your note."

"My note?"

"Yes," exasperation crept into her voice, "if you kidnap everyone, how will the others know what to do unless you leave a note?"

He started sweating bullets, "I never thought of that. This is my first kidnapping."

"It shows."

Kasumi was practically jumping up and down in excitement, "Oh! Let me write the note. It sounds like fun."

Nabiki couldn't argue with her sister's enthusiasm. "Sure. Go right ahead."

The eldest Tendo grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. "We'll make it sound sinister," she began writing, saying out loud what she was putting on paper. "Dear Ranma and Akane."

"Just make it Ranma and Akane," Nabiki interrupted.

"I don't want to be rude," Kasumi protested.

"Fine."

Kasumi continued, "Kasumi and Nabiki have been taken..."

"Make it kidnapped. It sounds better."

Kasumi paused and made the correction, "Right. Kidnapped. Do not call the authorities."

"Make it police. We're dealing with Ranma here, so the smaller the words the better," Nabiki reminded.

Mousse finally added something to his ransom note, "And tell them to leave Shampoo behind. I don't want her getting hurt."

Kasumi nodded, "Of course. Police, and do not let Shampoo come along. Go to...where are we going Mr. Mousse?"

"The Black Rose's Floral Shoppe."

"All right. The Black Rose's Floral Shoppe. If these demands are not met, something terribly not nice will happen to them."

"Nice touch," Nabiki added, "Vague, but frightening. People come up with worse things using their imagination than if you are specific in your threat."

"Don't worry, we won't hurt you, just Ranma," Mousse reassured the two.

"Well, that's O.K.," Nabiki turned to her sister, "Oh, and Kasumi, tell them to also bring three thousand yen for the ransom."

"That's a bit much, don't you think?"

"That's just for me. How much do you want to go for?"

Kasumi paused in thought, "We'll just say I'm included in the price."

Nabiki shrugged, "Suit yourself."

"The money isn't important," Mousse felt the temperature in the room drop ten degrees from the icy stare Nabiki leveled at him. "On the other hand three thousand sounds fine."

Kasumi finished the note and signed it, "There! All done. We can go now."

The trio headed off for The Black Rose's Shoppe. Nabiki began listing her demands for allowing herself to be kidnapped.

"I refuse to be tied up. I expect good food and a chance to shower if I feel like it. I have to be back by tomorrow because I have some important people to meet..." she continued until the trio arrived at the converted greenhouse. Kodachi appeared somewhat confused when she saw the new victims.

"These two are not Akane Tendo either, Mousse."

"They are the next best thing. They're her sisters. With them, Ranma and Akane will surely come." He thought himself pretty clever for coming up with that one.

Kodachi was not so certain, "I hope you're right. Still, I would like to have Akane in hand before confronting Ranma." She picked up a folded outfit that was laying on a table nearby. "I will try one last time to ambush her before she discovers her family's absence. Take care of these two." The Black Rose left the premises in a rather subdued manner.

Nabiki turned to Mousse, "I want a steak dinner and some champagne. And not the cheap stuff."

"I'll just have some okonomiyaki," Kasumi added.

Mousse scratched his head, "I'm not sure that's what she meant when she said I'm supposed to take care of you."

Nabiki saw this was going to take a little maneuvering, "I am going to see Shampoo later. You do want me to tell her you treated us nicely, don't you?" That got the desired effect.

"Of course, I don't want her to think badly of me," he paused, "even if I have kidnapped you. My apologies."

Nabiki smiled. Sometimes it was too easy, "Well then, get on it. Ranma could be here any minute."

"Right." The kidnapper headed out the door to meet with his abductees' demands.

Genma was sitting on a bench in the middle of the park, an empty dish beside him. He was clutching his stomach and appeared to be in a great deal of pain.

"Maybe I should have taken enough time to taste the food before I ate it. I feel terrible." A giant spatula buried itself on top of his head. "Now I feel a lot worse."

Sure enough, it was Ukyou who struck Genma.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the old man who made my life a living hell. And here, I was just thinking how I never got a chance to properly thank you for that." The smile did not bode well for the overweight martial artist.

"Ummm...You're welcome?"

Ukyou grinned even wider, "The pleasure is going to be all mine."

Only the squirrels witnessed the sight of Ukyou's righteous anger and Genma's much deserved beating.

Back at the Tendo Dojo, Soun had returned from buying a pack of cigarettes. Upon entering the house he called out to locate anyone, but received no response.

"Where is everybody?"

The doorbell rang and startled Soun. He opened the door to see Kodachi disguised as a floral delivery woman and bearing a bouquet of black roses.

"Flowers for Akane Tendo."

"She isn't here."

Kodachi pouted, "Very well. I suppose I will simply have to settle for you." She thrust the bouquet into Soun's face. It only took a moment for the paralysis powder to do its job. "Miss Tendo is a very difficult woman to find. I just hope she will come for this one. I know I wouldn't rescue that insane pineapple people call my father." Kodachi afforded a look around the house and spotted the ransom note. Her eyes played across the words and she picked up a pen. "Hmmm? We'll just change the part about 'no Shampoo' to 'bring Shampoo.'" She made the corrections. "There. Now off we go." She dragged Soun's unconscious form behind her on the way back to the arboretum.

A few hours later, Akane, Ranma-kun, and Shampoo-chan finally returned to the dojo. Both Ranma and Shampoo had a pair of roller skates slung over their backs. Akane was clearly in one of her "Ranma has screwed up again moods."

"I can't believe how long it took for me to find you. And what were you two doing roller skating?"

Ranma and Shampoo looked at one another in unspoken communication.

"Well, after that little brawl with 'The Golden Pair', Shampoo and I discovered we liked skating. It ain't no big deal. Why you gettin' mad?" Ranma was really not in the mood for her irrational anger. Sometimes she made it seem he wasn't allowed to do anything on his own.

"I am not angry!" neither Ranma nor Shampoo bought it since she was glowing dull blue.

The trio entered the house and immediately felt something was wrong. They couldn't find anyone at the house and began a search. Shortly after it had begun, a battered looking Genma entered the house. Shampoo noticed him first.

"What happen Pop?"

"Oh, just a heavy case of food poisoning and bludgeoning from a spatula wielding maniac."

Ranma buried his fist in Genma's face. "Don't call Ucchan a maniac you fat tub of goo. You hurt her pretty bad, and I still haven't forgiven you for stabbing her in the back. I'm just lucky she realizes I didn't know what was goin' on and forgives me." Ranma turned his attention from his father as he spotted the ransom letter. He quickly read through it, "Oh no!"

Akane became concerned, "What is it?

"It says your family has been kidnapped by..." Ranma got to the bottom of the letter, a confused expression appeared on his face, "...Kasumi?"

"What are you talking about?"

Ranma read it over again, "Well it's a ransom note but it's signed 'Love, Kasumi.'" He handed Akane the note. Sure enough it said exactly what Ranma read.

"Those jerks! They must have made Kasumi write the note. When I get my hands on them..." her threat trailed off as she clenched her fist and started glowing bright blue.

"You know what this means?" Ranma looked his compatriots over.

Genma stared him in the eye, "We have the place to ourselves?"

Everyone hit Genma.

"No! We go rescue Kasumi, Mr. Tendo, and Stupid Mercenary Girl." Shampoo corrected him, and added another blow for good measure.

Akane wasn't going to let the reference to her older sister pass, "Don't call Nabiki stupid!"

"She not responsible for you get attacked everyday by girls that try get date with you. Shampoo call Mercenary Girl whatever she want!"

Ranma decided to step in and play peacemaker for a change. "Look, why don't we rescue them first, then argue," he then addressed Shampoo directly, "Besides, Stupid Extortionist Girl is a lot more accurate than Stupid Mercenary Girl."

"RANMA NO BAKA!" Transdimensional hammer time.

The four companions set off for the Black Rose's Shoppe. At the said establishment, the hostages were on a balcony that overlooked part of the greenhouse, with Mousse and Kodachi standing nearby on a tall plant discussing strategy for when Ranma and Akane would show up. There was no apparent way down from the balcony other than making a twenty foot drop to the greenhouse floor. Of the hostages, Minami was the only one tied up and gagged, as she was the only one actively contesting her predicament. The Tendos were in a circle, sipping drinks and playing a board game. Nabiki was rolling the dice.

Soun was unusually happy, "We don't get many chances to do this sort of father-daughter bonding." Nabiki moved her piece.

Kasumi smiled at her sister, "Oh! You've landed on Boardwalk, again. This time it has two hotels, which means you pay..."

"I know what I have to pay," Nabiki snapped back. She took a few moments to finish counting her money and came to a conclusion. "Mind if I get a loan sis?"

Kasumi scrunched her face and deepened her voice to do a darn good impression of Nabiki. "You've got to be kidding," She relaxed her face and smiled pleasantly once again. Nabiki was not amused.

"Fine. Mock me if you will, but this is only a game of chance. It is nothing like the real world. It doesn't require actual skill."

Kasumi maintained her smile, "That's what you said the last two times you lost. Want to make it four in a row?"

"You better believe it. And I'm taking you down for sure this time," Nabiki wasn't about to let that challenge go. If it involved money, she knew she could beat her sister. As she began plotting her revenge, a voice suddenly resounded throughout the greenhouse.

"My twisted sister, hear me! It is I, Tatewaki Kunou, your sibling."

Kodachi turned towards Kunou, "I'm well aware of who you are brother dear. What do you want?"

"Sasuke informs me that you are in possession of one Nabiki Tendo. I demand her return."

Nabiki heaved herself to her feet and looked over the balcony, a stunned expression upon her face. "You came to rescue me?"

Kunou smiled, "Of course, who else could provide me with such professional quality photos of my two true loves?"

Nabiki gave a little smile back, "I should have known," Surprisingly, she didn't look disappointed. "Did you bring the three thousand yen?"

"So much! Still, if that is what will set you free, then so be it."

Kunou began to posture and deliver a speech on how human life could not be measured by money when Kodachi, realizing what her brother was up to, cut him off, "Don't be foolish brother dear. If you desire Nabiki Tendo then you may have her. After all, you are the one who gave me permission to travel with my true love on the journey that set our passion, and the world, aflame."

She held her hand to her head and sighed, as though overcome with the memory, while Mousse noticed he was suddenly the center of attention. He blushed, placed his hand behind his head in a very Ryouga-like manner, and gave an embarrassed chuckle.

Nabiki raised her eyebrow, "I didn't know you had it in you."

Mousse realized they way things sounded and quickly tried to cover himself, "It wasn't that way at all. I mean...she drugged me."

Kodachi sounded wistful, "I gave you a mild aphrodisiac. Your reaction was anything but mild." Her face blushed from the memory, making Mousse become even more red.

"I hope you will do the proper thing," Kasumi spoke softly to the boy.

Kodachi wrapped her ribbon around Nabiki and gently set her down next to Kunou.

"Truly that blind fool is good for my sister. She rarely attempts to drug me anymore and we have actually been getting along." The pair began to walk off together.

"Well, you came to rescue me. No good deed should go unrewarded. How about five percent off the next batch of twenty photos you purchase?" Nabiki offered.

"Truly you are a shrewd businesswoman."

"Ohhh! Flattery. Just for that, you get seven percent off the next batch of thirty photos. But don't think it'll work more than once."

"I wouldn't dream of it Nabiki Tendo," the duo left.

The four would be rescuers finally arrived at the Black Rose's Shoppe. Upon entering the structure they saw the vast rain forest before them.

Ranma realized they could be anywhere in the vast jungle. "It's gonna take forever to find them. Maybe we'd better split up. Pop take the center, Shampoo take the left, me an' Akane will take the right."

Akane appeared displeased, "Why do I have to go with you?"

"Because I don't want you to get into trouble."

"Oh. So you don't think I can handle myself?"

"No. It ain't like that." Actually, it was exactly like that, but Ranma was damned if he was going to say it out loud.

"Last time I checked, I was the only one who managed to conquer their fear, and confront the Sanslaygh. Isn't that right Ranma?" She gave a smirk in his direction.

Ranma didn't appreciate the cheap shot. He hated having his face rubbed into that failure. He noticed Shampoo subconsciously rubbing her neck at the reference.

Akane took his silence as an endorsement. "Fine, then you go with Shampoo. I'll take the left," and with that she tromped off into the jungle.

Shampoo turned to Ranma, "It quicker if we all split up. You no mind Ranma?"

"Nah! You can handle yourself," she started to run off, but just as she was about to get out of sight Ranma called out to her, "Umm. Be careful though."

She turned, smiled in acknowledgment, gave a little wink, and rushed off into the verdant greenery.

Genma plodded through the bush and was the first to find one of the opponents, Mousse. The warrior stood in the middle of the path, hands concealed in his sleeves.

"So, at last we meet, one on one, Genma Saotome. He who spawned that enemy against women, Ranma."

"Boy, you have no idea what kind of a rotten day I've had. I think I'll take out my frustrations on you," Genma cracked his knuckles and moved forward to attack.

Four blows later.

"You didn't even provide a good warm up you fat oaf." Mousse wrapped a chain around the unconscious Genma and stalked off with the fat man in tow.

Elsewhere in the jungle, Akane was walking through a more heavily forested area of the greenhouse.

"Just how big is this thing?"

Her reverie was interrupted when a piece of ribbon flew out from a tree and wrapped itself around her wrists like a pair of handcuffs. She tried to break free, but the harder she attempted to tear the ribbon the tighter it got.

"OHHOHOHOHO!" Akane gazed upward to see Kodachi standing on a tree branch above her. "You have fallen into my trap Akane Tendo. No substitutes can save you this time. Just come along quietly."

"Yeah, right," Akane sneered. And with that, Akane jumped up, kicking the branch Kodachi was standing on, and shattered it.

The Black Rose prevented her fall by using her ribbon to lash onto another branch and gracefully land several meters away.

"You are only making this harder on yourself."

She began hurling pins at Akane. The first struck Tendo in the knee, the second in the head. Akane decided she wasn't going to play the pigeon in a shooting gallery and raced forward, managing to avoid two more pins thrown at her. She then executed a leaping tuck and roll and came up in a stand next to Kodachi. She grabbed the Black Rose by the throat and started choking.

"Where is my family?"

The gasping Black Rose didn't try to answer. Instead, she pulled a compact out of her leotard and held it in front of Akane's face. Akane made the mistake of loosening her grip in surprise, providing Kodachi enough breath to let out a puff and blow the powder into Akane's face, which caused her to slump to the ground, unconscious.

Kodachi stood there clutching her throat. "You are fortunate indeed that I need you intact, else something...terrible would happen to you." The evil glint in her eye made one certain she meant every word she said. She wrapped her ribbon around Akane and dragged her off, making sure to hit every bump and rock on the way back.

Ranma walked through the jungle, looking about cautiously. He sensed an attack and jumped out of the way just as a dozen knives embedded themselves in the tree that was behind him. He observed Mousse removing himself from his concealed spot behind a thick tangle of shrubs.

"At last we meet again Saotome. Today my revenge becomes complete."

"Look, If you weren't such a helpless moron, I would feel sort of sorry for locking you up with that psycho gymnast."

"Don't call her a psycho! She's just misunderstood."

Ranma's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "You seem awful eager to defend her. Something going on between the two of you?"

"No! Of course not. Don't be silly," To Ranma, it appeared he was a little to quick with the answer and seemed to be acting just a bit guiltily.

"Well, if you two are getting along, shouldn't you be thanking me for bringing you together?"

Mousse shook his head, "It's not that way. Besides, you were just trying to get rid of a problem. Well now you have two. I still want revenge for your defeating me, kidnapping Shampoo, and for knocking her into that Spring of Drowned Young Man." His voice became much more quiet, "You have no idea of what that simple act set into motion."

Now that angered Ranma, he knew damn well what was going on, "Look, I'd give anything in the world to take that day back. It's complicated me and Shampoo's life helplessly, but I can't. I know that Shampoo's on the run, but I don't have a cure for you, me, or her. Anyway, it ain't like it wasn't your idea to fight there anyhow."

"Don't you try to blame this on me. If you hadn't been there, she would never have fallen into Nanniichuan, I would have beaten her, and we would already be married now. Probably with a nice big family well on the way, and we would be building an addition for a nursery and..." A smile crept across Mousse's face as he thought about what might have been. Ranma interrupted the fantasy.

"Believe me when I tell you Shampoo is a lot happier being a guy if the alternative is marrying you."

Mousse exploded in rage, "You bastard! I am a much better husband than you would ever be!"

"Whoa! Slow down panda-boy," Ranma held up his hands in a warding gesture. "I ain't marrying her. I'm not even going to marry my fiancee."

"Don't lie to me Saotome. I can see the lust in your eyes."

"No. What you see in my eyes is called contempt, and it's for you."

Mousse laughed, "You can't fool me. Why else would you let her stay with you? Admit it, you're just using her because you want her for yourself." Mousse smiled at Ranma, "You aren't the only one. Many males in the tribe have tried to defeat her in combat. The beauty she possesses is enough to drive most men wild with desire, even me. I would do anything for her love."

"Sorry 'pal', you got it all wrong. I like her for who she is, not what she looks like. She's one of the best friends I ever had," Ranma gave Mousse a pitiful look, "Guess you're blind in more ways than one."

Mousse either ignored or missed the comment, "Give up Saotome. I've already captured your father."

"You make it sound like that's some kind of accomplishment." Ranma replied dryly.

Mousse considered that for a moment, "Well, I guess you do have a point. At any rate, I've heard enough out of you."

Mousse hurled several shurikens at Ranma. Ranma evaded the attack and planted a kick in Mousse's gut. The blind one activated his long elbow blades and slashed at Ranma, who dodged out of the way as one of the blades went clean through the tree behind him, severing it in half. Ranma unloaded several blows at the blades and shattered the metal. He then connected with a palm thrust to Mousse's jaw. The warrior backed up.

"Maybe you should change panda-boy?"

"No need to Saotome."

With that he pulled out a long pole with a fake duck on the end of it and extended it towards Ranma. Ranma moved his head out of the way, but the duck stopped just before it would have hit him. Ranma moved his head back in front of the duck to give it a closer examination. As he moved his in front of it, a boxing glove on the end of a spring suddenly popped out and nailed Ranma right between the eyes. Mousse retracted the pole and duck.

"Why you..." Ranma wasn't pleased with being made a fool of and was going to let Mousse let him know his feelings on the matter.

Mousse hurled another duck on the end of a pole at Ranma. This time when he moved his head out of the way he didn't place it back in the way of the incoming waterfowl.

"You ain't getting me with the same trick twice."

Mousse gave a sinister smile, "It's not the same trick."

A mist sprayed out of the ducks mouth and created a fog around Ranma. He began clawing at his eyes.

"WHAT IS THAT STUFF!" Ranma felt like someone had dumped kerosene in his eyes, and was finding it nearly impossible to see through his tears.

"It's called mace."

"Fighting dirty...should have known," Ranma bellowed as he tried to see through his tear filled eyes.

Mousse chuckled, "Fighting dirty? There is no such thing. It's just less fighting less honestly then usual. I learned that from Kodachi."

Mousse started toying with Ranma, not even bothering to employ weapons. He just used normal punches and kicks. Ranma tried to fight back, but was so blind he couldn't even defend himself. After connecting about ten times, Mousse really began to laugh.

"I should have thought of this a long time ago. Pounding on you is fun."

Ranma homed in on the sound of the voice and made a quick grab for Mousse's face. He came back with the prize, Mousse's glasses.

"Wh...what? I can't see." The blind man began to stagger around.

"Like that's unusual."

Ranma's turn for revenge. He started striking Mousse, who was still complaining loudly about being blind. Ranma was smart enough to remain silent while he started connecting with several solid blows.

"Give me back my glasses Ranma!"

"Glad to." Ranma tightened his grip and destroyed the glasses. "Ooops. Guess I broke 'em. Now if I wasn't blind, I bet that wouldn't have happened."

Mousse's voice dropped to a low rumble, "You'll pay for that."

Mousse leaped into the air, curled into a ball, then uncurled himself, releasing a volley of chained weapons. One with a spiked mace on the end struck Ranma in the ribs and hurled him into a nearby stream, changing him to Ranma-chan. Just as she stood up in the stream, an idea occurred to her. She began splashing water in her eyes in an attempt to wash out the foreign substance. After a few moments, enough of her vision returned through bloodshot eyes to make out Mousse. Ranma-chan moved in for an attack, while Mousse was busy emptying his pockets and throwing a variety of weapons in every direction. He pulled out a pair of glasses and drew back to throw them.

"Wait a minute," he realized what he was handling and placed them on his face. "Forgot I had these."

The first thing he focused on was Ranma-chan's fist hitting his face. Mousse moved back, stunned.

"You just don't get it, do you Saotome?" He shook his head to clear out the cobwebs, "This place is one big trap designed defeat you." Mousse pulled on a vine next to him, causing it to fall out of the tree and land on his head.

"You gonna tie me up? I think your new girlfriend would have more fun with that than I would," Ranma-chan smirked.

"How did you know she likes..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "That has nothing to do with us. I just pulled the wrong vine. Here's the right one." He pulled the vine next to it, causing a dozen spears shoot out of the underbrush. While Ranma-chan was busy dodging them, Mousse pulled a third vine, releasing a log which came sailing out of a tree. Ranma-chan broke it in half with a kick, then moved in on Mousse, who reluctantly gave ground.

Elsewhere. Shampoo was making her way through the brush, when she heard familiar, insane laughter. She spotted Kodachi standing in front of a tree.

"OHHOHOHOHO! If it isn't the little philistine."

"Shampoo not Philly cheese steak!"

Kodachi sighed, "I forgot, you're intellectually impaired. We'll just go with bimbo from now on."

"What you want with Kasumi, Crazy Gymnast Girl?"

Kodachi smiled, "I wanted to lead Ranma and yourself to your doom. And it looks like I have succeeded."

She pulled a hoop from her leotard and threw it high above Shampoo's head. Shampoo remembered the boomerang pin and tracked the hoops progress. It traveled high into the tree Shampoo was standing next to and severed a bunch of banana, which struck Shampoo in the face, causing quite a mess. She looked back down just in time to have a pineapple, thrown by Kodachi, impact and burst all over her face.

"I haven't made fruit salad in years," Kodachi laughed.

Shampoo wiped the majority of the fruit off her face, and looked above Kodachi

"You forget coconut."

Shampoo drew her sword and threw it, like a spear, high into the tree behind Kodachi.

"Your aim is off you purple..." A coconut fell from the tree above and hit her in the head. Kodachi's hands went to her skull. "You wicked, wicked girl! I was going easy on you because I knew Mousse would not approve of me harming you. But I see you leave me no choice."

She pushed in a knot of wood on the tree that the coconut fell from. Part of the ground Shampoo stood on raised itself and hurled her into a covered pit. As she stood up in the pit, she noticed two eyes glaring at her. The orbs belonged to the hungry tiger waiting for its meal.

"You have a fun time dear." Kodachi skipped away, laughing her insane cackle, leaving the girl with the tiger.

Mousse continued fleeing from Ranma-chan, finally jumping on a gigantic plant stem where Kodachi was now waiting for him. Ranma-chan could see the balcony holding the remaining Tendo's and Minami from the ground. He looked up to see Akane was now wrapped up in, and hanging from, some chains attached to the ceiling. Genma was in a cage hanging from the ceiling as well. Kasumi waved to Ranma as he planned the best way to bring about a rescue.

"Get me down from here!" Akane yelled at Ranma.

Genma didn't want to be forgotten, "No boy! Save me first."

Ranma-chan turned to Kodachi and Mousse. "I'll make a deal with you. Give me back Kasumi, Mr. Tendo, and Minami, and I won't hurt you."

"What about me?" Akane grumbled.

"I thought you could handle yourself," Ranma-chan taunted. She was still sore about the fear comment, but relented anyway, "Ah. Give me Akane too."

"Not a chance," Mousse responded.

"All right. You can keep Akane if you want her that bad."

Akane's battle aura began to glow and the chains started to bulge, "RANMA. YOU'D BETTER HOPE THEY DON"T RELEASE ME!"

"What about me boy?" Ranma-chan just gave Genma an icy glare.

"Look. I ain't taking the old man back no matter what. You're stuck with him."

"That's not what we mean," Kodachi broke in, "You see, you have fallen into our ultimate trap. Behold!"

Kodachi held her arms out and a huge plant she and Mousse were standing next to began to move. A huge oval shaped bulb on the end of the stem opened up, revealing a mouth with sharp pointed teeth inside. (Similar to the plant in "Little Shop of Horrors" only much, much bigger.)

Kodachi smiled in ecstasy. "Witness the awesome power of a genuine South American man eating plant, or in this case, a Ranma Eating Plant. We found him while on our extended vacation. He was shipped here just last week and is hungry. Aren't you precious?" She made little kissing noises in the plant's direction, then spoke to it, "Now, sic her!"

The plant roared to the skies and then moved it's head to attack. Kodachi and Mousse remained on their plant, watching the Ranma Eater try to devour its prey.

Ranma-chan evaded the first two attempts by the plant to devour her, then started looking for a way out. "The plant's got roots. All I have to do is get out of it's reach."

She tried to run out of the plant's reach, but that tactic had been anticipated by Kodachi. She let out a shrill whistle. Huge strands of what appeared to be webbing extended themselves from the trees and interlocked, many of the strands shooting up into the ceiling. Once complete, a huge spider web reaching from tree to tree, as well as the ceiling, effectively sealed off the portion of the greenhouse Ranma-chan and the plant were in.

Ranma-chan examined the new barrier, unimpressed, "Like this is gonna stop me."

She reached out to pull away part of the webbing. She touched it then quickly drew back, gasping in pain. A small trickle of blood dripped from a cut that had formed where she touched the web.

"What the heck?!"

"That's no mere spider web," Kodachi informed her opponent, "It is formed with razor wire. Touch it, and be sliced to ribbons. Now, remain where you are and prepare to be devoured."

The plant continued its assault. After many leaps and bounds, Ranma-chan eventually got backed into a tree with nowhere to run. The plant reached forward, mouth wide open, then stopped, no more than a foot away from her. It then curled back and looked at Kodachi, and muttered something unintelligible to everyone but its mistress.

Kodachi sounded annoyed, "What do you mean, 'Is she white meat or dark meat?'" The plant muttered again, and the Black Rose answered once more, "I don't care what you are in the mood for. Just eat her!"

The plant looked at Ranma-chan, then turned back to Kodachi and muttered something yet again.

"I know she doesn't look like much," Kodachi sounded very annoyed now, "I'll tell you what. I'll get you an entire cow afterwards if you are still hungry, is that all right?"

The plant considered, then nodded

"Good! Now devour her!"

Just as the plant moved forward once again a loud noise was heard from the other side of the web. A sword suddenly cut through some of the razor wire and Shampoo rushed quickly through the opening.

Mousse began jumping up and down in joy. "Shampoo my love, you have come for me at last." A huge tiger rushed through the opening hot on the tail of Shampoo. Mousse looks at Kodachi, "Why is Mr. Meow after Shampoo?"

Kodachi couldn't help appearing like a child caught with her hand on the cookie jar. "She must have come to save the Tendo's," she then slowly added, "and maybe I ran into her."

Mousse frowned, "I told you not to involve her."

"It's not my fault. Besides, she hit me in the head with a coconut for no reason."

"Well you have to expect that from her. She hits me all the time for no reason."

"Shampoo hit Mousse all time because he annoying pest that not know when to give up!" Shampoo knew she should have expected that sort of comment from him, but it still irritated her to no end.

Ranma-chan had remained quiet and stood motionless for the entire exchange. The reason being that her eyes had locked onto one thing, and one thing only. Mr. Meow.

"C-C-C-C-C-C-C-AT!"

And with that declaration, Ranma-chan ran up the tree and clutched onto a branch for dear life, looking down in terror at the tiger. Mr. Meow sensed the fear in the newcomer and ran under the tree, trying to climb up it and roaring with all his might. Everyone paused to watch the bizarre display of man and cat.

Realization hit Genma, "Oh no. Not now."

Akane turned far enough to look at the old man, "Not now what?"

"The boy is afraid of one thing and one thing only. Cats."

Shampoo appeared confused, "How come?"

Genma sighed, "It has to do with the Cat Fist training he received as a youth." Genma described the process of wrapping young Ranma up in various fish products and throwing him into pits with hundreds of hungry cats. He explained how he did it day in and day out until Ranma snapped and came out meowing.

Akane's eyes were open wide in shock, "What kind of a father are you?"

"Pop. We gonna have long talk about this later," Shampoo waved her sword menacingly at Genma.

Even Kodachi was sickened, "That is beyond demented, even by my standards. You are truly a warped individual."

Genma paused to consider that comment, "Somehow, coming from you, I really am horrified by what I have done." Surprisingly he sounded sincere.

Meanwhile, Ranma-chan had finally snapped. She curled up and started hissing like a cat. Mr. Meow, bewildered by the turn of events, stopped roaring, and began to slink away rather than be confronted by the bizarre human. He didn't move fast enough, as Ranma-chan hissed and leaped after the tiger. Just as she is about to hit the tiger, she was snatched in mid-air by the Ranma Eating Plant and swallowed whole. The plant turned and looked expectantly at Kodachi, who patted him on the head.

"Good plant."

"At last, victory!" Mousse held his fist up high.

Shampoo and Akane together shouted, "RANMA!"

The plant remained where it was, a large grin on his mouth. Suddenly, the smile disappeared as the plants jaws started to move violently, as though something was trying to get out. The violence increased, causing the head to shift and turn until finally, a figure burst through the side of the mouth, making a huge gaping hole in it. The plant recoiled in pain as Ranma-chan ripped through it using the Cat Fist. Kodachi looked on, horrified.

"My poor, poor Ranma Eating Plant!"

She began to cry as Mousse placed his hands on her shoulders, trying to comfort her, "I have bandages. I'm sure we can fix him." He pulled out a huge ace bandage and the two tried to bind the wounds on the mouth.

While the duo were distracted, Shampoo jumped up and severed the chains binding Akane. She then cut one of the chains loose and threw it to the Soun and Kasumi. Soun lowered his daughter to the ground safely, then climbed down. Shampoo turned her attention to the still feline-like Ranma-chan, who had backed Mr. Meow into a corner. Ranma-chan continued hissing at the tiger until Shampoo slowly walked over, bent down, and held out her hand, trying to calm Ranma-chan and get her to walk over to the Amazon. After much cajoling, Ranma-chan calmed down and walked over. Shampoo began to pet her on the head, relaxing Ranma-chan enough to sit on Shampoo's lap, and curl up in a ball. Shampoo smiled at the rapidly relaxing form, but the peace didn't last. Ranma-chan was resting peacefully one moment, and the next got punted out of Shampoo's lap and through the skylight of the greenhouse.

"MMMMMMEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!" CRASH

"I told you to hope they didn't let me go!" Akane shouted to Ranma-chan's rapidly departing form.

Shampoo spun on Akane, "Why Akane do that?"

"He was being a jerk!"

"You hear what Pop say, Ranma think he cat, not boy," She moved closer, got right in Akane's face, and looked her in the eye, "You no hit Ranma again."

Akane stared at her, incredulous, "Are you trying to tell me what to do?"

Shampoo dropped her voice and took on an almost threatening tone, "Shampoo say no hit Ranma again."

Akane didn't back off. "I don't believe it! Where do you get off telling me what to do?!"

The tension between the two almost managed to ignite the forest. Fortunately, it was defused when Kasumi stepped between the duo.

"Now, now. We mustn't fight."

Kasumi's peaceful aura worked as the two simultaneously broke the deadlock.

"Shampoo go find Ranma. Make sure he O.K." She gave one last, intense, glance to Akane, then jumped up on a tree, using it as a springboard to go through the hole in the skylight.

Mousse and Kodachi finally bound the plants wounds. After confirming it would pull through, they turned their attention to the remaining people.

"I do believe we have been forgotten Mousse-sama."

A fireball hit the pair. As the smoke cleared, the duo appeared singed, but alive. Minami stood at the top of the balcony, having finally been untied. She discarded a gold scepter and began to form electricity in her palms.

"Let me assure you. The two of you will soon be gone, but definitely not forgotten."

She released a lighting bolt at the duo who barely got out of the way. The two took off, with Minami in hot pursuit, firing off spells as she runs. Everyone else decided to leave the building, all that is save one.

"Would someone let me down, please?" Genma paused for a moment in thought, "Wait! The way my day has been going, maybe I had better stay here."

He heard the sounds of animals below him, and turned his gaze downward. A pack of hyena's had gathered below the cage and looked up, licking their lips.

"It would definitely be a good idea to stay here." Genma heard a noise from above, he looked up to discover one of the chains beginning to snap. "I should have known." He turned to look up at the sky, and shouted. "What have I done to deserve this?!" The cage fell to the ground, leaving Genma to run for his life from a pack of hungry hyenas.

Epilogue

Kasumi was alone in the Tendo Dojo. She looked at the phone for a few minutes, then, as if deciding on something, picked up a phone and dialed. She paused, waiting for an answer. Her wait did not last long.

"Hello! Dr. Tofu."

"Yes?"

"It's me. Kasumi Tendo."

Kasumi could hear the sound of glasses fogging over the phone, "Y...Y...Yes?"

"Would you like to get together tomorrow night." She heard the thump of a body hitting the floor. She paused and looked at the receiver. "Oh dear! I wonder if that's a yes or a no?"

End Notes: Special thanks to  
Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Kevin R Wible


	10. Breaking Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The series takes a more serious turn as Ukyou and Ryouga have to decide what kinds of things they are willing to break.

Ranma ½ Presents:  
Shampoo ½

Chapter 10

Breaking Things

D.B. Sommer  
C+C always welcome  
Standard Disclaimer:  
All Ranma ½ stuff belongs to the Goddess Takahashi and whoever else owns the rights.

An Alternate Universe:  
What’s gone on before. (or what you need to know to enjoy this fic). In the Beginning, the Saotome’s traveled to Jusenkyou and began sparring, not realizing that Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So, Ranma-chan =female. Shampoo-kun =male.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma, and ended up briefly engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up, Ranma became engaged to Akane. In the ensuing months many battles occurred, both with old and new foes, including: Cologne, who wants to take Shampoo back to China to stand trial for becoming a man. Ryouga, who is still resentful towards Ranma for being knocked into Spring of Drowned Bat. And Ukyou, who is still irate at Shampoo for impersonating Ranma, among other reasons. Last chapter, Mousse and Kodachi met defeat at the hands of Ranma, Shampoo, and Ghost Sweeper Minami. After the fight, Kasumi placed a call to one Dr. Tofu…

Note: denotes Chinese.  
Side Note: You did not miss a chapter. Explanations for references to “crazed cultists, First Shieldmaiden’s,” and attempted marriages to Ryouga and Ranma are explained in the end notes.

Part 1

Breaking Rocks

All things considered, the day started out pretty good for Ranma. Akane hadn’t tried to pound on his skull, or worse, feed him any of her toxic waste/cooking. His father had fallen to his prowess in record time, in spite of the underhanded tricks the fat man had tried to use. Nabiki hadn’t tried to weasel any money out of him. The pair of fathers had not attempted to give him “advise” on dating his spiteful fiancee. And especially, no crazed cultists were trying to marry him. Yes, all and all, a good day. Shampoo had even talked him into going shopping with her, which was where they were heading. A nice normal day that included Ryouga, who decided to make an appearance. 

“There you are Ranma! For what you did to Ukyou, prepare to die!”

Ranma turned to Shampoo. “We got enough time for this?”

She looked at her watch. “Mall no open for ten minutes.”

“Plenty of time then.” Ranma cracked his knuckles and the beating took place. Less than two minutes later, Ryouga was laid out in a heap.

Shampoo paused to examine Ryouga’s fallen form, determining no real damage had been done. “Why drag that out Ranma?” Training with him had given her a good estimate of his abilities, and it seemed to her he took his time thrashing Ryouga. Ranma was a lot of things, but being cruel wasn’t one of them.

“He had it comin’. All he ever does is try to beat me up and mooch off Ucchan, and I don’t like it.” The truth was he was getting a little tired of the constant annoyance “Fangs” was becoming. It wasn’t like he stood any chance of winning, especially after all that additional training Ranma did preparing for the “First Shieldmaiden” that had challenged him. But for someone that got lost as easily as Ryouga did, he seemed to be popping up around Ranma more and more. He didn’t have time to dwell on that, as Ukyou appeared from the same direction Ryouga had just come from. Judging by the way she was looking around, it was evident she was searching for her waiter/flying rodent. It was beyond Ranma’s ability to understand why she let him hang around her. Anytime he tried to pin her down about it she would either give some answer that didn’t make any sense, or worse, try to convince him Ryouga was an O.K. guy. Predictably, as soon as Ukyou made eye contact with Shampoo, she drew her spatula and did her impression of Ryouga.

“There you are! For what you did to Ryouga, fall Shampoo!”

Ranma turned to his Amazon companion. “Go easy on Ucchan. Will ya’?”

Shampoo snorted in contempt. “Shampoo not beat up on weaklings. Not even use bonbori.”

Ryouga came around long enough to mumble, “Don’t call her Ucchan,” when Ranma stepped on his head. Where did he get off trying to tell him what to do? Ucchan was his friend, not the lost boy’s.

Ranma watched the fight with a careful eye. It took about two minutes before Ukyou ended up on the ground, defeated. Having Shampoo train with him over the last couple of weeks in preparation for the challenge had improved her martial arts noticeably as well. He gave a once over to make sure Ukyou wasn’t really hurt, then walked off with Shampoo. Once they were out of the defeated duo’s earshot Ranma spoke up.

“I wish you two would get along.” It was really bothering him that his two best female (and about only) friends got along about as well as him and Ryouga.

“It no Shampoo fault Weak Spatula Girl start fight she can no win.” 

“Yeah. But it ain’t like you really try to avoid fights with her. Couldn’t you just, y’know, back off a little.”

Shampoo paused in her walk and looked straight at Ranma to see if he was being serious. One glance told her he was.

“You mean you want Shampoo tell Stupid Spatula Girl I no want to fight. You want Shampoo to refuse challenge and be coward?”

A voice in the back of Ranma’s mind cried out a warning that he was making a mistake and should let it go. As usual, he ignored the advice and pressed onward. “Well, I don’t want you to look like a coward or nothin’, but you could back off.”

Shampoo started to get angry. It wasn’t an emotion she usually felt when dealing with Ranma, but he had hit the wrong buttons today. “In Amazon village it great dishonor to back off from challenge unless have good reason. You no back off from challenge, do you?”

Ranma became flustered. He was getting backed into a corner and becoming very uncomfortable, “Well, it’s different for me.”

“How?” Ranma opened his mouth to speak but was cut off. “And if Ranma say it because you a guy and I a girl, then you find out how hard Shampoo hit when she really try. Make Akane look like Kasumi.” Judging by the fist she was waving menacingly at him, he felt it safe to assume her threat was serious. And it had started out to be such a good day too. He began to continue his explanation when he came to an uncomfortable conclusion: she was right. That was exactly what he was going to say. 

“Well, it’s like this…” he trailed off at a loss for words.

Shampoo unclenched her fist and the harsh stare disappeared. “Look, Ranma. You have to understand. Shampoo come from warrior society, we have code we have to follow, same way like Ranma have one. Honor very important to Amazons, is no way to just back out of fight without looking like coward. Just because Shampoo not live there any more doesn’t mean am not Amazon.” 

The more he thought about it the more he realized she was right. He hadn’t made the comparison, even though it had been before his eyes the entire time. He tried to backtrack slightly. “It ain’t like I want you to lose any honor. It’s just that I like both of you and it bothers me to see you fight.”

He started to hit the right buttons now. Showing concern for her was an easy way to make her less resentful of him. She knew it shouldn’t be that way. As a proud Amazon warrior of Joketsuzoku she wasn’t supposed to dance to any man’s tune, but that was exactly what she was doing, and it made her feel a little powerless. Unfortunately for Ranma, his next statement had the opposite effect.

“I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Shampoo slipped into anger mode again. He dared call her weak. “You mean you think Spatula Girl can beat Shampoo?”

Ranma had enough sense to see where this was heading to. He had witnessed it more than enough times with Akane to know he was going to end up getting hit if he couldn’t think of something, fast.

“I know you’re better, but anything can happen.” He knew as soon as the words came out of his mouth they were wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

“The only way anything bad happen is because Shampoo holding back like Ranma ask!” Suddenly, her eyes narrowed in suspicion, as though something occurred to her. “Did Ranma ask Spatula Girl not to fight?”

He wondered where was this going to? Shutting up wasn’t going to get him out of it this time, as much as he wished it would, so he decided to find out. 

“No.” One look said he found the wrong response again. It really was amazing how someone could get the wrong answer to so many yes or no questions. And it really had looked like it was going to be a good day, about a million years ago.

“So Ranma think Shampoo only one that wrong! Should be only one to swallow pride. Ranma like Stupid Spatula Girl better! He no care that she start most of fights!” He didn’t like the anger that was getting into her voice, and for the life of him he didn’t know how this argument had started. Was it so much to ask that his friends try to get along? Now he was arguing with her, and if he didn’t figure out the right thing to say soon it was going to be a long, and probably painful day.

“It ain’t that I like her better. I like you more.” His own statement caught him off guard. He wasn’t sure where the last part come from. He hadn’t intended to say that, he was certain. Once he thought about it, it felt right, probably because he spent so much time with her over the last few months. As he collected his thoughts, he paid closer attention to how Shampoo was reacting. Surprisingly, all traces of anger had disappeared from her face.

“Shampoo promise try to not fight Spatula Girl. Is O.K. Ranma?” Her demeanor had totally changed and he wasn’t about to let the chance to keep things that way slide away. All he had to do was say the right thing.

“Yeah.” Jackpot! She didn’t try to hit him. Silently he thought, “I don’t know what I just did, but I gotta remember it.” He felt he needed to add something else. 

“And I’m sorry if I insulted you or something. I didn’t mean to.” She shook her head, gave a dazzling smile, then grabbed his arm and headed off to shop like they had originally planned. It wasn’t until much later he realized he had apologized without hesitation.

Back at battleground, Ukyou and Ryouga had finally recovered. Both of them had the same look of dejection on their faces.

Ryouga was the first to break the silence. “We just got our butts kicked, didn’t we?” It was an obvious statement, but one that needed saying.

Ukyou was accomplishing a rare feat, and matched his depression. “Yeah. They’ve gotten good after all that training they did for that deranged cultist.” 

Ryouga’s slid into one of his black pits of depression. “She sent the challenge letter to him. How was I to know she wanted to marry me too?”

She got up and worked some kinks out of her back. “I’m not blaming you. I just wish there was some way we could get better.”

Destiny, in the form of Cologne, walked out from some bushes and towards the pair. The aged Amazon looked the two over, “I couldn’t help but overhear your predicament. I would be more than happy to train you.”

“All Right!” Ryouga was ecstatic. Free training. Ukyou, on the other hand, was a lot more cautious.

“Wait a minute. Why do you want to help us?”

Cologne gave the smile that could give nightmares to a demon. “Let’s just say I have a personal problem with Shampoo and Ranma, not all that different from you if you stop and think about it,” she paused and looked the two over once more. “If you don’t want to, then you don’t have to accept. I’m sure you’ll figure out some way to overcome them. In about a year or so.”

Ranma had warned her about the aging Amazon. She had some kind of grudge against Shampoo and wanted to take her back to China. Not that Ukyou would miss her if she left and never came back. Still, it wouldn’t go over well with Ranma if she was forced to go.

“First, you have to know we won’t help you take Shampoo back to China.”

Cologne held up her hand, “I promise not to try to make you take her back to China. How’s that?”

Since they had her promise, Ukyou saw no reason why she couldn’t go along with the training. The two decided to listen to Cologne’s outline for what she intended to do with the two warriors.

“I’ll have to close up the restaurant for a while, but I have to beat Shampoo.” That was the one sticking point that was left in Ukyou’s life. She had not only had settled the score with Ranma, but the two had become friends again. Her business was a success. She had Ryouga who was her…well, she wasn’t sure of what he was, besides a waiter. The only thing that stuck in her craw was that Shampoo was better than her, and she needed to change that in a hurry. “We’ll do it. C’mon Ryouga.”

The two went back to Uk-Chan’s to gather their belongings and close down the store. Eventually they arrived, at the rendezvous at the top of Mt. Terror, where Cologne was waiting for them.

Once they settled in and made camp, the aged Amazon began to get specific in what she wanted. “Now what I want to do is teach you a technique called the Breaking Point.”

The studies consisted of having one arm tied behind the back, while hanging from a tree branch and having rocks hurled at the recipient, while trying to break them with one finger. Dozens of rocks were hurled at the duo, crushing and mangling them while trying to learn the technique. By the second day, Ukyou mastered the technique, shattering the boulders while yelling out “BAKUSAI-TENKETSU.”

“I did it first!” Ukyou’s grin was wide as she smiled at her new mentor.

Cologne smiled back. “Of course, you are a woman, and therefore better. Now, try to do it with two at once.” She released two boulders at Ukyou, each coming from opposite directions.

“WAIT! I can’t do two…” the rest was abruptly cut off as she was smashed between two boulders.

Ryouga shuddered when he saw his partner’s flattened form. “If that’s what happens when you do learn it, I’m having second thoughts about this whole thing.” He was crushed by another hurled boulder.

Night fell. The two finally stopped training and (heavily) bandaged themselves. Ukyou decided to cook first, preparing some Okonomiyaki for the trio.

Cologne bit down into the food, “Hmmm! This is pretty good. You know what you’re doing.” She cleared her throat. “Now let’s discuss strategy on how to defeat those two. I want you, Ukyou, to start by attacking Ranma…”

“No!” The vehemence of the refusal surprised Cologne.

“What do you mean no?”

“I won’t attack Ran-chan.”

“Why on Earth not?”

“Because he’s my friend.”

Cologne shook her head in disbelief, “That doesn’t make any sense. Ryouga attacks him all the time, but you don’t try to stop him.”

“That’s between Ryouga and Ran-chan.” She shifted her gaze from Cologne to Ryouga and spoke much more softly, “I would like it very much if the two of them would make some kind of peace. It would mean a lot to me.”

He noticed the stare immediately. Ryouga was a lot of things, and being thick was definitely one of them, but he picked up on the hint. His gaze shifted away from Ukyou’s pleading eyes. “I’m sorry. But he has to pay for what he did to you.” Ukyou’s shoulders visibly slumped.

Cologne took notice of the interaction between the two. “Well, I see. Ryouga, why don’t the two of you start off by double teaming Shampoo? She’s vulnerable to…”

Ryouga cut her off, “No!”

Cologne’s patience started to wear thin, “Just what do you mean, No?”

“I don’t attack girls. It wouldn’t be honorable.”

“She’s responsible for your curse.”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t attack women.” He crossed his arms to reinforce the point.

Cologne focused her eyes on the duo and thought, “I see. Well we’ll just figure out what we can do about that, after your training.”

Later, Ukyou retired to her tent, trying to get some sleep. Despite her exhaustion, rest eluded her. After tossing and turning for a couple of hours, she got up and decided to try to clear up what was bothering her. She made certain her pajamas were not revealing anything, and walked over to Ryouga’s tent. 

“Ryouga. You up?” She spoke softly, hoping not to disturb the aging Amazon. Hearing no response she stuck her head into the tent itself. “Ryouga!” This time it was a little louder and he finally woke up.

“Wh…what?” he stared through sleepy eyes as he tried to come around. As he sat up, the blanket fell from his body, allowing Ukyou to get a full view of his torso. Somehow, she never got tired of gazing at his broad shoulders, his muscular chest, his…she shook her head to clear it of such thoughts. Being almost alone on a mountain with a man and thinking those sort of things was sure to lead to trouble. True, she slept under the same roof with him, but the barrier the tents represented seemed so much flimsier than the walls and doors of Uk-Chan’s.

“Wake up sleepyhead.” This wasn’t unusual for her. She had to get him up every morning for school. An early morning person he was not. “I need to talk to you.” He finally came fully awake. 

“What about?” He grabbed his shirt and started to put it on, causing Ukyou to feel a mixture of relief and regret.

“It’s about you and Ran-chan,” for the briefest of moments, she thought he cringed, but in the darkness she couldn’t be certain. “This is really starting to bother me. Why can’t the two of you get along?”

Ryouga paused in thought for a moment. Why was she bothering him this late at night, no, make that, this early in the morning, with annoying questions? “I hate him.”

It was Ukyou’s turn to cringe. She never really had come right out and asked him why he and Ranma didn’t get along. Now she was beginning to see why. She was afraid of the answer, and justifiably so. “Why do you hate Ranma so much?”

“Lots of reasons,” the only thing Ryouga had to decide was where to begin. “He’s arrogant for starters. He thinks he’s so much better than everyone else just because he’s good at martial arts. He always rubs people’s faces in it and makes himself seem like he’s some sort of idol. He’s a louse as well. From what I’ve seen he treats Akane like dirt, and that’s his own fiancee. What kind of a guy does that? A jerk who doesn’t respect others, that’s who. And what about Shampoo? I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s letting that Amazon hang around just so he can be a womanizer. I can’t figure out why else he keeps her. He’s also a pervert the way he keeps changing sexes, like there isn’t any difference between the two. He’s even a girl at school for goodness sakes. And then there’s what he did to you. He deserves a good thrashing.” He pounded his fist into his hand for emphasis. 

She never realized how much anger he felt towards Ranma. Still, she had to get him o change his mind. “I’m sure if you really got to know Ran-chan you’d think differently. I think he just puts up a front because he isn’t used to dealing with people from living his life on the road so much. So he sort of keeps them at arms length.” She saw the stare of intensity leveled at her and realized he wasn’t going along with it. “All right! Maybe he is a little bit arrogant, but he really is a good person once you get to know him.”

Ryouga shook his head. “I did know him in school when I was growing up. Remember? He is not good person, he’s an arrogant jerk!”

Ukyou decided to continue, ignoring the statement. “And it was his father’s idea to engage us, and you know what a genius he is, so you can’t blame him for that. He didn’t even know I was a girl.”

Ryouga interrupted her. “I find that hard to believe. I think he’s lying just so he won’t look bad. There’s no way anyone would mistake you for a guy.”

She blushed a little at that. “Actually, I did kind of look like a boy. I’ll show you some pictures when we get back. And I’ll be the first to admit he can be dense sometimes, but I believe him when he says he didn’t know. I forgive him. Who knows, maybe things are better for me since we didn’t get engaged. There would have been a major hassle with the Tendo’s because that idiot father originally promised him to one of those girls. I sure wouldn’t want to be caught up in a mess like that. As for his relationship with Akane, he’s told me he doesn’t want to be engaged to her. His father came up with the idea, and Ranma’s just doing it to uphold the family honor. If he gets her mad enough she’ll want to break off the engagement and then he won’t have to worry about it. So you see, there isn’t any reason to not get along with him. You shouldn’t hate people for no reason.” 

“Sort of like you and Shampoo. Right?” 

Ukyou’s demeanor changed almost instantly, “I have plenty of reasons for hating that hussy. She is a spiteful, arrogant, purple haired bimbo. Just because she trains with Ranma she thinks she’s a better martial artist than everyone else. She’s also a pervert that flaunts that man’s body for everyone to see. Not to mention she got you your curse because she wasn’t paying attention to what she was doing. She doesn’t want to take responsibility for her actions. She’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing that can’t be trusted!” Her voice raised higher and higher. “I don’t know why that stupid witch hangs around Ran-chan or why he lets her. I think he’s under the misguided impression he owes her something because of her curse. It’s her fault he ended up getting cursed, not his. I keep trying to tell him she’s bad news but nooo, he won’t listen! The stupid jackass!”

Ryouga looked at her curiously, “In other words, you think she’s arrogant, she acts like a pervert with her curse, and she hurt a friend. So you want to avenge them since they won’t do it for themselves.”

Ukyou thought about it for a moment. Something wasn’t quite right with the way he said that, but the facts were sound. “Yeah.”

“Sounds like the same reasons I hate Ranma. Why is it all right for you to hate her and I can’t hate him?”

Ukyou froze, surprised by the response. It took her a few seconds to recover. “They aren’t the same reasons. They’re different because,” she paused, “because,” she paused again, “just because it is! That’s why. I’m going to bed.” And with that she stormed out of his tent and headed back to hers. 

During the walk back she kept telling herself there was some difference between her motives for revenge and Ryouga’s, she just couldn’t figure out what it was. She lay back down and started to fall asleep. As she began to finally drift off, part of her mind realized she had left out one very important reason she hated Shampoo. Not that she would ever admit the reason out loud. When she first saw Shampoo-kun, when he was in the combat ring standing in for Ranma, she thought he was very handsome and briefly considered calling off the match to try to get the engagement back. Shampoo had almost made her discard all those years of training and dedication because of an attraction to a woman. That was unforgivable.

Part II

Breaking Relationships

Days later.

Everyone had gathered in the dojo itself to watch the two occupants in the center of the practice floor face one another. The first was Akane, dressed in her gi, and in an aggressive fighting stance. Across from her was the huge, ugly looking giant called the Dojo Destroyer. He looked the worse for wear, with a huge bruise on the right side of his face and he was apparently favoring his ribs on the right side of his body.

“Tell me again why you aren’t helping your fiancee defend the dojo, son.” The animosity in Soun’s voice was very evident.

“Cause’ she won’t let me. She keeps muttering about how she has to prove she’s a martial artist and ‘doesn’t need some pervert’s help,’” Ranma answered. He then turned his attention to the Destroyer. “That ugly mass of flesh doesn’t look to good.”

“That’s made all the more remarkable by the fact the fight hasn’t even started yet,” Genma answered. “Don’t worry Tendo. I’ve been helping train Akane.”

That caught Ranma’s attention. “So that’s why me and Shampoo have to keep breaking her of those nasty habits that have been showing up in her practice.”

That set off another argument between Genma and Ranma, which started them punching at one another. Neither of the fighters in the middle of the floor paid any attention to the commotion. Each continued to look the other one over.

“She doesn’t look like much,” the Destroyer thought. “Good thing to. I’ve had better days. I think that fool in the bandanna broke some ribs. The little…”

In the Destroyer’s mind he remembered walking the streets of Nerima weeks ago, lost. He made his way over to a boy who was also looking around. 

“Excuse me. Do you know which way it is to the Tendo Dojo?” the Destroyer inquired.

“Oh sure. I’ve been there lots of times,” Ryouga replied.

He gave the Destroyer a set of directions. He began the journey, walking for many days and nights, thorough far off distant lands, until he came back to exactly where he started. Ryouga was there as well. 

“You little fool! You intentionally gave me the wrong set of directions.”

“I did not!” Ryouga began mumbling to himself. “I’ve gotta get back to Ukyou and the dried up hag. Maybe I should change…”

The Dojo Destroyer decided on a course of action. “You will pay for mocking me. 

He moved to attack, Ryouga returned the favor. By the end of the fight a wasted Destroyer stood over Ryouga’s form, which was buried a foot deep into the ground.

The Dojo Destroyer’s thoughts came back to the present. “I will wait to see what this warrior can do.”

They duo were motionless for a minute, then two, then five. Ranma finally had enough and spoke up.

“Look! I like watching floorboards warp as much as the next guy, but I have stuff to do. So if you don’t mind, would someone please throw a punch.”

Both opponents scowled at Ranma. He briefly thought they might be considering double teaming him. Fortunately, they turned back to each other. The Destroyer spoke first. “Your patience serves you well little one. I shall attack first.”

He threw a punch which Akane easily dodged. Several more blows fared the same. Akane then began her offensive. Her attack was concentrated on one point, the Destroyer’s left leg. Defense was never the Destroyers strong point, and Akane managed to land several blows, causing him to limp slightly. Once he concentrated his defense entirely on that body part, Akane switched targets to the area of ribs the Destroyer was favoring. All it took was one punch to double him over. Once bent over, Akane grabbed an arm and applied a Judo style toss, throwing the Destroyer into the ground. He finally connected with a solid blow to Akane’s stomach from his prone position from the floor. The force of the blow threw her across the room and against the wall. Both Soun and Ranma got up to their feet to help Akane.

Akane noticed their actions. “Stay out of this!” She got up, determination still on her face. “Neither one of us is going to win this fight with one blow.”

The Dojo Destroyer heaved himself to his feet as well. “You are right about that. It will take a hundred blows.”

Suddenly, the signs of all the dojos he had conquered appeared and started swirling in the air. Their circular motion was interrupted when they hurled themselves at Akane. She remained calm and stood her ground. As they closed in she employed the Kachuu-Tenshin Amaguriken, shattering the majority of boards. Several got through her defense and struck her. None of the blows were serious though, and she eventually broke those as well. The Destroyer stared in disbelief.

Akane picked up on the surprised state he was in and thought she saw her opening, “Time to finish it. Let’s see if I can do that move I saw Ranma use,” she thought.

She ran up to one of the walls and leaped off of it. The Destroyer turned to meet the attack that never came. Akane had not launched herself at the Destroyer, but rather for another wall. She used it as a springboard as well. Even as the Destroyer barely got himself repositioned for an assault from that direction, Akane landed using a third wall, and finally hurled herself at the Destroyer. He was twisted around so much trying to defend himself from various positions that he was wide open for a vicious kick which Akane applied to the bruised right side of his face. She hit full force and landed gracefully. The Destroyer followed her to the ground, unconscious.

Akane looked over the fallen form. “I knew I could do it.”

Everyone looked on, impressed. Genma and Soun moved the unconscious body outside to be taken away by the garbage men outside.

“Gotta’ hand it to you Akane, not bad,” Ranma said as he went over to congratulate Akane.

“Hmph. Could have done better,” Shampoo declared as she crossed her arms and stared at Akane.

Akane scowled at Shampoo, but quickly smiled again. “I’m going to get cleaned up. See you later.” She left upstairs.

Some time later, Nabiki and Shampoo-kun made their way downstairs. They saw Akane and Ranma waiting at the entryway of the house.

“Where are you two going?” Ranma inquired.

Nabiki spoke up, “We are having a special martial arts demonstration at the school courtesy of Shampoo here.”

“An admission price, right?” Nabiki nodded. “How did you talk her into it?” He pointed to Shampoo-kun.

“Surprisingly she came up with the idea and volunteered. And for only forty percent of the ticket prices.”

“Fifty.” Shampoo-kun broke in.

Nabiki turned, irate. “We agreed on forty.”

“No,” Shampoo-kun corrected. “You agree at forty. Shampoo agree at fifty.” Nabiki began to bluster, but he cut her off, “If want Shampoo at demonstration. Fifty percent.”

“All right,” She finally assented, then thought, “At least she hasn’t learned the difference between net and gross profits.”

“Want gross, not net.”

Nabiki nearly exploded on the spot. “Who taught you that?”

Shampoo-kun smiled, “Shampoo go to school remember? Am beginning to understand Japanese economics.”

Nabiki managed to regain her composure.

“I’m starting to like the way you think,” she tried to sound happy as she gave Shampoo-kun a very insincere smile.

“Somehow, Shampoo doubt that very much.” Shampoo-kun sounded just as happy and gave the same insincere smile right back.

“Why do you need the money?” Ranma asked

Shampoo-kun answered as he turned away, “No particular reason.” The two left for the demonstration.

Kasumi walked into the entryway and noticed Akane and Ranma.

“Did Nabiki and Shampoo already leave?” Akane nodded. “So are you two going to the library now?”

“Nah! Sayuri and Chisa cancelled at the last minute. That means we’d be left alone with those two girl crazy idiots, Hiroshi and Diasuke. They seem like nice guys, but they keep hitting on me and it drives me nuts.” Ranma grimaced for effect.

Kasumi suddenly appeared a little…nervous. Genma and Soun soon joined everyone else.

Kasumi turned to them. “Are you two going to the movie now?”

“No. We decided to stay and play Shogi,” Soun replied.

“But you do that every night.”

Genma’s turn. “So?”

Kasumi sighed and went into the kitchen. The doorbell rang just as she was out of sight. Akane opened it to reveal Dr. Tofu standing in the doorway. He was wearing a rather nice suit and bore a package.

“Good evening Akane. Long time no see,” Tofu beamed at the girl who had frequented his office so many times.

Akane smiled while blushing ever so slightly. “It’s nice to see you too doctor.”

He stared at her a moment. “Umm, Akane please don’t be offended, but that short hair isn’t you.” Her hair had grown about halfway back to what it was before her attempted scalping by LinLin.

Akane maintained her pleasant demeanor, much to Ranma’s surprise. “I agree. Let me take your coat. So, what brings you here?”

Tofu’s glasses fogged up slightly as he took off his jacket. “Kasumi invited me over.”

That surprised Soun. “What? She didn’t tell me.”

Akane paused in thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. “Now I see. So that explains it.”

Kasumi heard the noise coming from the hallway and decided to see what the commotion was. Once she came into Tofu’s line of sight, he lost his grip on reality.

“K-K-K-KASUMI! I brought you some cake for dessert.” He started stuffing his jacket into Ranma’s mouth. Akane barely managed to drag the victim out of the doctors reach. Ranma gagged a little as he removed the jacket. 

“Why that rotten…”

Akane cut him off. “It’s not his fault. I’ll explain later.”

“You look wonderful tonight.” Tofu smiled.

Genma was flattered. “Why thank you.”

Kasumi finally managed to grab Tofu by the arm and lead him away before he could cause any more damage. The others just watched on, more then a little startled.

“What was that all about?” Ranma pointed in the direction the doctor had gone.

Akane thought she knew. “Kasumi obviously wants to talk to the doctor in private. Let’s give her that space.”

“WHAT!” Soun erupted. “Leave my daughter alone in the house with a man!”

“You aren’t leaving your daughter alone with a man. You are leaving Kasumi alone with a man,” Genma reassured his old friend.

Genma’s remark worked, Soun calmed down. “Oh, of course. If it’s Kasumi it’s different. What could happen?” He gave a little chuckle.

Ranma was in agreement, “Well, if Kasumi wants the place to herself I guess we can make ourselves scarce.” He turned to Akane. “We could go out and, y’know, celebrate your victory over that big goof today.”

Soun and Genma conjured party streamers and horns from out of nowhere.

“That’s the spirit boy. You two go out on a date.” Soun honked a horn in their direction.

“You make your old man proud.” Genma blew on a kazoo.

“NOW CUT THAT OUT!!!” Ranma wasn’t happy. The two took everything out of context.

Akane emotions mirrored Ranma’s. “It’s no date! It’s just a celebration!”

“Yes. And we are celebrating,” Soun replied.

Ranma balled his fist. “Not no more you ain’t.’

Akane and Ranma dragged their respective fathers outside, leaving them on the walk.

“Now don’t go hassling Kasumi,” Ranma warned the two. “Go out to that movie or something.”

Ranma and Akane walked off, leaving the fathers behind. After several blocks, Ranma turned to Akane. 

“So why were you all gushy with that guy?”

Akane blushed furiously. “I was not.”

“Yes you were.”

Akane started to get defensive, but looked towards Ranma, and, as if deciding on something, changed her tone. “Well it’s like this. I sort of used to have a…crush on Dr. Tofu.”

Ranma spoke in very open disbelief. “You? A crush?”

That angered Akane. “Does it surprise you to know I like men?”

“Well, yes, it does. All I ever see you do is complain about them and hit ‘em.”

Akane scowled at him, but didn’t strike. “I complain about boys. They’re all brats. I like men. They are mature.”

There were still a few things Ranma wanted to know. “So what about the Doc. Still got feelings for him?”

Akane turned from Ranma and looked to the ground. “No, not really. I kind of got over it a while ago. You remember when I cut my hair, the first time I mean.” Ranma nodded as she started playing with her hair. “Well, the hair was kind of symbolic of my feelings for him. When I realized I wasn’t going to win his heart, I sort of gave up on him and got it cut short.”

“What made you give up?” Ranma was genuinely curious. This was a side of Akane he had never seen. 

Akane’s face was still pointed to the ground, so Ranma couldn’t see the increase in her blush. “Nothing in particular.”

“So why did he go crazy?”

Akane looked up. “He has a crush on Kasumi. Once she enters the room he’s in, it’s best to take cover. He just loses it.”

The two continued their walk, Ranma eventually dropping behind her a little bit. Once he was sure she wasn’t watching him, he began staring thoughtfully at Akane.

“Every time I think I understand her she surprises me again.” He shook his head at the thought. 

Kasumi had prepared dinner for herself and Tofu. His glasses were still glazed over as he sat down to eat. Once she made sure they were both settled, the dinner began.

Tofu began to eat. “This is a little dry Kasumi.” 

“Oh silly! You’re eating the napkin.”

“Oh! Ha ha! The soup seems a little bland.”

“Oh! That’s because you’re using your spoon on a glass of water.”

“Oh! Ha ha! This steak tastes just right.”

That one gave Kasumi pause. “I…see. That’s odd. That centerpiece you’re eating is composed of flowers, and shouldn’t taste like steak at all.”

Tofu just stared off into nowhere. “Oh! Ha ha! I need to use the restroom.” He got up and walked to the hallway, opened a door, and entered.

Kasumi began thinking to herself, “Oh Great! That’s the closet. I’d better get him out before anything messy happens.”

The rest of the night continued in much the same manner. Any attempts at coherent conversation with the doctor were useless as he remained in the same state of awareness that he usually has around Kasumi. As the evening progressed, Kasumi began to look depressed. The look became more and more pronounced as the night wore on. Eventually, Kasumi ushered the Doctor to the front door, calling it a night. 

“Well. I had a great time.” Dr. Tofu told her.

“Yes it was…” she trailed off and started looking at the ground, “…something.”

“I hope to do it again sometime.”

Kasumi gave a faint smile, “We’ll see. Take care doctor.” He turned to leave, when Kasumi suddenly shouted, “WAIT!”

Tofu turned around. Kasumi had the saddest look on her face since the evening began. She moved forward to him, and stood on her tip-toes.

“Goodbye doctor.”

She kissed him lightly on the lips. A look of pure ecstasy crossed the doctor’s face and he passed out.

Kasumi sighed. “I was afraid something like that would happen.” She bent over to examine him and make sure he was all right.

Much later, after the doctor recovered enough to send him on his way, everyone returned. Kasumi had retired to the kitchen, sitting at the table nursing a cup of tea. Nabiki passed by, then walked backward and looked in at the kitchen. 

“Something wrong sis?” 

“No. Why?” Kasumi answered.

“Just checking. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” She left.

A few moments later Akane passed by. She paused at the doorway and entered the kitchen. 

“Something wrong?”

“No. Why?” It struck her as unusual for so many people asking that sort of question tonight.

“You look a little down.”

“No. I’m fine.”

Akane stared at her sister for a moment, then turned to go. “If you need me, just call.”

Moments later Kasumi saw her father pass by. She turned to look at the clock when she suddenly heard loud crying next to her.

“WAAAAAAAAA!” Soun was in the standard state of bawling his eyes out.

Kasumi looked around quickly to see who died. “What is it?”

“MY LITTLE GIRL IS DEPRESSED!”

Kasumi patted her father’s head,” There, there father. I’m not depressed. And even if I was there’s no need to cry.”

Soun calmed down. A little. “I haven’t seen you depressed since your mother died!”

“You haven’t…” She shook her head. That was absurd. There were times she had been depressed since her mother died. “Look. I’m fine. Just go to bed.”

She reassured him enough so he went to bed. A minute later someone else stuck their head in.

“Hello…” Genma started.

Kasumi finally snapped. “Get out!”

“Sorry.” He quickly left.

It only took a moment for Kasumi to become aghast at her action. “What have I done?” She stood up and hurried to Genma. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me. What did you want?”

“I just wanted to grab something to eat.”

She apologized again and escorted him to the kitchen where he loaded up half of the refrigerator and walked off. Kasumi sat back down and started nursing her tea again. Shampoo came in without a word and sat down.

Kasumi turned to her new companion. “What do you want?”

Shampoo just looked Kasumi in the eye. “Nothing. Does Shampoo need reason to be here?”

Kasumi blushed. “No. Of course not. I apologize for my rude behavior.”

Shampoo just shrugged. “Is all right.”

The two remained sitting there for ten minutes without another word exchanged. Finally Kasumi spoke up.

“Are you going to be here all night?”

“Are you going to be here all night?” Shampoo answered right back.

Kasumi hesitated. “I don’t know.”

“Shampoo not know either then.” Kasumi returned to staring at her cup when Shampoo interrupted, “Want talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“Shampoo not stupid. No treat like am. Now, you want to talk about it? “

“I don’t know…” Kasumi started again, then stopped and took in a deep breath. “Maybe I do need to talk to someone. Just promise me this will stay between the two of us. I don’t want to worry the others.”

Shampoo held up her hand. “Promise.”

Kasumi began, “I invited Dr. Tofu over tonight because I hadn’t seen him for awhile. I’ve always been attracted to him.” She blushed a little. “I have sort of a weakness for older men. Ever since he opened his practice here and I took Akane over for her injuries, he always seemed so nice, so…impressive. I was actually glad when Akane had some very minor injury and I could go over. Once I got older, I started coming up with excuses to go over and see him. Sometimes it would be books, or to deliver food to him in appreciation for all he had done. As time passed I started dreaming we might get married some day. I never told him how I felt, of course, but I thought he liked me too. It was just a dream I had. One I was content with.” She took a deep breath. “But recently, things changed. A certain black haired boy entered my life and changed it.”

Shampoo nodded. “Ranma have that effect on people.”

Kasumi smiled. “No silly. I meant *you*.”

A huge sweatdrop appeared on Shampoo’s head. “B…but Shampoo not boy.”

Kasumi grabbed onto Shampoo’s hand which had been resting on the table and held it. “I know that now, but I didn’t know then. When I first laid eyes on you my heart skipped a beat. No lie. You were the most handsome man I ever saw. I never believed in love at first sight. I guess I’m not that sort of romantic, or at least I wasn’t. Now I know differently. When I saw you, I promised myself I would make you a part of my family, to take care of you. I wanted you by my side. I thought of all that in that first moment I saw you. Somehow, I was happier in that instant than I was with all those daydreams I had of Dr. Tofu, or anyone else for that matter.’

Shampoo now understood and began to look forlorn. “Shampoo sorry not right kind of guy for you. What…”

Kasumi cut her off. She raised herself to her feet, walked over to the entry to the kitchen and looked down the hall. She saw Nabiki moving a shotgun microphone into position to eavesdrop on her conversation.

Nabiki smiled hopefully, “Oh. Hi sis. I was just testing out some equipment.”

Kasumi smiled right back. “Good. You can test out the washing machine and dryer as well. Tomorrow you’re doing the laundry.”

“That’s hardly fair,” Nabiki started to protest.

“You’re right,” Kasumi agreed. “You can do the dusting also.”

Nabiki gave up, “I should probably cut my losses while I’m behind, shouldn’t I?”

Kasumi smiled pleasantly and nodded her head. Nabiki left with equipment in tow. Once she was sure Nabiki wasn’t coming back, she returned to the kitchen.

“It’s amazing what some people think they can get away with around here,” she said as she sat back down. “I know sometimes I don’t pick up on things right away, but I’m not an airhead.” 

She picked up where she left off. “Anyway, it’s not your fault you are who you are. I admit, I was disappointed at first when I learned you were really a girl. Very disappointed. But I remembered that promise I made to myself about when I first saw you, and decided it wouldn’t be fair to not like you just because you weren’t who I thought you were. I was the one guilty of jumping to conclusions, so I gave you a chance, and I’m glad I did. You have been one of the best friends I’ve ever had. So please don’t think I’m disappointed in you. I couldn’t be happier…” A tear started to form in Kasumi’s eye.

Shampoo moved to comfort her. “What’s wrong?”

Kasumi became a little more tearful. “It’s just that, I guess I was a little lonely. I didn’t realize it at first, I think it sort of crept up on me slowly. It’s not that my family isn’t caring or thoughtful, but ever since mother died, I spend a lot of time doing things for everyone, and they rely upon me for so much, that it can be a bit overwhelming. I’m not sorry for anything I’ve done, and I would do it all over again in an instant. It’s just that it can be difficult to have to do almost everything. Most of my life, I could never spend much time with others because I had to help take care of everyone else, so I always felt a little alone. I had friends, but not any real close ones. It became worse once I was out of school because my social contacts became more limited, and there are some things that you can’t discuss with family, it’s just too awkward. 

“So when you came here, it was like a breath of fresh air for me. You’re someone I can talk to. I mean, I can talk to Ranma, but it isn’t the same thing like when I talk to you. I also appreciate your help with the shopping and cooking. I like doing those things with others, and you’re the only one that wants to do them. Well, Akane’s cooking doesn’t really count since I have to make sure she doesn’t create something that will eat through the countertops. There’s too much pressure to enjoy that. And Nabiki and I are two different people. We just don’t have much common ground, but you and I do. We’re hardly the same, however, there are enough common interests that we don’t get bored with one another. What I’m trying to say is, thank you for being the friend I needed very much.”

“You welcome.”

“And thank you for helping me change.”

That confused Shampoo. “Change?”

Kasumi began smiling again, “Before you came I was content with what I was doing. However, after our conversation about all the changes you’ve gone through, I started to think about myself and what I want out of my life. In several years Akane and Nabiki will be leaving and that’s going to change everything. That was another reason I invited Dr. Tofu over. I wanted to be sure of how I felt with him. I know now it’s not going to work out between us. I don’t find him interesting in that way anymore. It’s not like he’s changed, he’s still a very nice man, I just don’t look at him the same way I used to. I can’t talk to him as a person, he’s too incoherent. I need more than that in a relationship. I need a friend, like you.” She looked down at her cup again. “When I kissed him, it was our first kiss, and our last. I don’t think I’ll see him anymore. I wouldn’t want to lead him on, and he should have someone nice in his life. He deserves that. Now I have to decide what I want to do with mine. Maybe you can help me.”

Shampoo smiled warmly. “Would like that very much.”

“Thank you.” Kasumi got up. “Now, it’s getting late. I’m going to clean up and you should go to sleep. Good night.”

Shampoo left the kitchen while Kasumi stayed behind to clean up. She watched the Amazon exit and stared at the doorway for a few moments. She then spoke almost inaudibly to herself.

“Just because I have had a lot on my mind doesn’t mean I haven’t been paying attention. Something has been bothering you. I’ve felt something building up inside you for some time now, even though you’re trying to hide it. I just hope you let it out soon before something bad happens.” 

Part III  
Breaking People

Ranma built up speed as he prepared to go up the ramp. He had to hit it just right or else he would suffer defeat and humiliation in front of the crowd gathered before him. He pumped his legs for every bit of force he could muster while making certain that he got just the right angle. If he wasn’t fast enough or he came in wrong, it was over. He could practically feel the anticipation of the group as he went past them full bore, and seemingly flew up the ramp. Once airborne, he twisted his body in three tight spins while simultaneously going head over heels in midair. For lesser mortals it was an impossible feat, but Ranma Saotome had trained in the Saotome School of Martial Arts all his life, and mid-air combat was a specialty. He executed the leap and spins perfectly and landed on the concrete of the sidewalk after completing the jump. A roar of approval broke out from the group of twenty children that had gathered to watch Ranma do his leap. Ranma skated over to the group. Once there, an older child of about eleven approached him. Ranma saw he carried a skateboard as he came over. 

“That was the most awesome thing I ever saw Mr. Saotome. I thought I was good on my board, but you’re the best.” The smile he beamed at Ranma told him the child was being sincere in his compliment. 

He returned the smile to the boy and patted him on the head. “Thanks.” It was weird hearing someone call him Mr. Saotome. That was his father, not him. He then turned to the crowd. “Thanks everyone, but I gotta go.” The children let out cries asking him to do it one more time, but Ranma politely refused. He had already given in twice and it was getting late. He took off his skates and said goodbye to the group, waving at them as they left. He overheard more than one lamenting that he hadn’t done more. Ranma had to admit, it was kind of neat to have so many people, even kids, cheer him on. 

After the fight with the “Golden Pair, ” Shampoo and he discovered they liked skating, so the two decided to start practicing whenever they got the time. They elected to practice roller skating rather than ice skating to avoid prying eyes at the rink, and to avoid a rematch should the “Golden Pair” find out just how bad they really were. They also didn’t want Akane around because (at the time) she was much better than either one of them, and neither felt the need to be reminded of their novice status. As time went by, they got good, real good. In fact, they had become so good that they had attracted a following that would go out of their way to watch the two of them execute the complex series of stunts they usually performed. He and Shampoo had been putting on expositions for the kids for several weeks now, and watching them smile always made him feel sort of flattered. 

As his thoughts turned to Shampoo, he decided to go over to check on her. Earlier in the day his skating partner had run into a classmate that had come to the park with her infant brother. The student had recognized Shampoo “Saotome” from the Rhythmic Gymnastics competition with Kodachi and greeted her. Shampoo excused herself and began a conversation with the girl, leaving Ranma to entertain the masses on his own. When he headed back, he saw Shampoo was still talking to the girl. The Amazon held the infant in her arms and gently rocked him back and forth, a smile of contentment was on both child and holder. Shampoo spotted Ranma and smiled. She held the baby forward and picked up the child’s hand to “wave” to him. Shampoo handed the infant back to his sister and walked towards Ranma so the two of them could start home.

Ranma took notice of Shampoo’s happy, carefree attitude. Something he hadn’t seen in her for a while. “How did it go with the kid?”

Shampoo grinned broadly at Ranma. “Sentaro was good whole time. He no cry, just smile. How skating go with fans?”

“The usual. Had about a dozen of them ask me to train them. If they’re that enthusiastic about martial arts, I won’t have to worry about making a living when I’m running the dojo.”

Shampoo’s smile quickly disappeared as she turned her head towards Ranma, “Ranma. Shampoo have question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you like Akane?”

Ranma scowled at her. “No way! She’s a violent, uncute, tomboy that gets her kicks out of bashing me around.” He suddenly got a thoughtful look in his eye. “Y’know, I always wondered what she used to do for fun before I showed up. ‘Gotta ask Kasumi about it sometime. Akane’ll just hit me again if I ask her.”

“Then if no like Akane, why not break off engagement?”

Ranma sighed. “I got to keep it. It’s like a matter of honor. Besides, our fathers only said engaged, not married. Believe me, marrying her is about as likely as me jumping into Spring of Drowned Moose.”

“Then why you say you want run dojo?”

Ranma paused for a moment to think about what she was talking about. It finally dawned on him. “Oh! You think I was talking about the Tendo Dojo. No! No. I meant when I open my own place.”

That seemed to cheer her up slightly, but it didn’t last. Her demeanor became more serious again as she looked him straight in the eye. “Then what you do if meet nice girl want to marry?”

He started scratching his head. “I dunno. Never thought of it, I guess. Discounting fiancees my pop sold me to for food, I don’t think too many girls would want me. At least not until I get this curse thing taken care of. What about you?”

That caused her to blush. She wasn’t expecting the change of subject. “What you mean?

“You meet any guys you like? I guess it would be kind of hard for you since you’re a guy at school and all. The rest of the time you’re with me or Kasumi anymore. Maybe you should, y’know, get out more often.”

Shampoo stopped walking and stared at the ground. She began talking in a much softer voice and continued looking down. “You not want Shampoo around?”

That confused Ranma. He didn’t know how she got that idea, “No. I didn’t mean…”

Shampoo raised her face to him, pain etched in her visage as she cut him off. “That what sound like you mean. Maybe should go away. Never come back if no want around!” and with that she turned and ran off at top speed.

Ranma remained motionless for a moment, stunned at the turn of events. He had absolutely no idea how she came to that conclusion, or why she would run off. He began shouting at her rapidly departing form. “That ain’t what I meant! Come back Shampoo!” The realization she wasn’t going to slow down, despite the fact she had to have heard him, set in. “Aw man! What the heck was that all about? I thought I have her figured out and now she’s getting all moody lately. Next thing you know she’ll be hitting me with a wooden hammer or something.”

Ranma started running after her. So intent was he on keeping an eye on the fleeing Amazon, he failed to notice an older one watching. Cologne observed the direction the two of them took, and hopped off in a different direction. 

Ukyou and Ryouga were waiting patiently for the matriarch’s return. She had told them to remain where they were until she could locate Shampoo and Ranma for them, saying she wanted to make sure that her protégés attacked the duo at the same time because Shampoo would recognize the technique immediately, and would be able to prepare a defense against it if she had forewarning. Ryouga was pacing like a caged animal while Ukyou sat in contemplation. 

“I can’t wait. Ranma is so dead when I meet him this time. He isn’t going to know what hit him,” Ryouga bragged as he continued to pace back and forth.

Ukyou knew Ryouga was eager to start this fight since he had mastered the Breaking Point technique, but one look into his face frightened her. The smile that was creeping across his face promised serious violence towards Ranma if she didn’t do something now. 

“Ryouga. You have to swear something to me.”

His smile disappeared when he realized Ukyou was being dead serious. He paused in his pacing and paid attention to her. “Yes.”

“Here it comes girl. Don’t chicken out now,” she thought. Out loud she stated, “ I want you to promise you won’t beat up Ranma badly. Just defeat him in combat this once and never go after him again.”

“Why would I promise that?” Ryouga hadn’t expected that sort of thing.

She got up and walked towards Ryouga. “Because I don’t want the two of you to fight. You both mean a lot to me and I don’t think I could bear it if anything bad happened to either one of you.”

Ryouga felt a mix of emotions. On one hand he really wanted to beat the stuffing out of Ranma. On the other hand Ukyou was obviously concerned over he and Ranma fighting, making him feel torn between the need for vengeance and the desire to please his friend. This was the exact sort of problem that constantly came up his entire life, one that had no easy solution. Why did he have to make important decisions like this? Why did she have to protest so much? Wasn’t it enough that he had spent nearly his whole life seeking Ranma to pay him back, and now at the moment of true retribution, she had to intrude and ask him to not do it. It was the story of his life, a series of no win situations. He immediately began to fall into one of his depressions.

Ukyou saw the effect she was having and pressed forward, both verbally and physically. “Do it for me. Please.” There was more indecision on his face, so she drew closer still. “Please.” She gave the most pleading look with her eyes that she could muster as she leaned forward, considering doing something to him that would prove her sincerity about not wanting to see him hurt.

Ryouga couldn’t help but notice how close Ukyou was getting. His depression slipped away, all but forgotten as a new feeling began to overtake him, panic. Her face was nearly up against his, making him suddenly very aware of the fact she was now closer to him than any other female had ever been. It wasn’t exactly an unpleasant experience, discounting the fact that blood was beginning to rush to his nose and he was on the verge of passing out. Not a bad feeling at all. In fact, if he wasn’t mistaken, something was about to happen. He decided that it might be a good idea to lean a little closer himself before he journeyed to the land of unconsciousness.

“Ahem!” 

Cologne cleared her throat, causing the duo to separate better than twenty feet apart. The motion was so quick that even she couldn’t follow their movements as each of them attempted to look nonchalant, and failed miserably. 

“Thank goodness I arrived in time. Another moment and I would have had to find them a hotel room before they could concentrate on the matter at hand,” she thought to herself.

“Did you find them?” Ryouga’s concentration returned first as he cracked his knuckles in anticipation. Beating up Ranma was an easy thing to do. Much, much simpler than dealing with Ukyou.

“Yes I did. As of this moment they are aimlessly running all over Nerima. My advise to you is to find a tall building to watch them. Then when they finally stop, move in to attack.” 

“Sounds good to me,” Ryouga said. Cologne noticed he was becoming more and more eager by the second, unlike Ukyou, who was clearly troubled. She walked over to talk to the girl.

“Are you having second thoughts about this? I thought you wanted revenge against Shampoo?”

Ukyou started to focus on her hate, just as Cologne had anticipated. “Yes I do.”

“Then just concentrate on that. Everything else will fall into place. I guarantee it.” 

The matriarch tapped her lightly on the back with the staff. Ukyou felt a slight twinge from where the wood made contact, but it faded almost instantly. Her feelings about revenge became more focused on Shampoo. She was going to make the Amazon pay. Oh yes. Pay in spades.

Cologne walked over and tapped Ryouga on the back with the staff “for luck” as well. She noticed both of the young fighters appeared much more enthusiastic about the upcoming fight and set off. Cologne watched the two begin running, talking to each other about what they were going to do when they caught up with their opponents. The Amazon smiled to herself. “It’s been a while since I’ve used that technique. Nice to see it still works.” She paused momentarily, a look of regret crossing her face. It disappeared as quickly as it came and she walked towards a higher point herself to observe the upcoming event.

Shampoo continued to run away from Ranma at full speed. The race took the duo high and low all over Nerima. Shampoo dashed through busy streets, jumped from building to building, leaped across ponds using the boats on them as springboards, and even went so far as to jump onto a moving train in an effort to elude her pursuer. Ranma kept up the entire distance, just barely making the last car of the train to keep her from getting away. Shampoo in female form was every bit as fast as Ranma in male form, which allowed her to stay just ahead of him. After the race covered the majority of Nerima, she finally looked over her shoulder and came to a decision.

“Maybe am overreacting. He chases me so hard. But what if let catch? What then?” she thought.

She slowed down enough to allow Ranma to catch up. Right before he could grab her she stopped and confronted him.

Ranma stopped as well and stood for a moment, watching her closely to make sure she didn’t try to bolt while he tried to get his breath back. It had been a difficult chase, even for him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had run so hard. 

“Why d’ya’ run off?”

“Why you try catch?”

He still hadn’t figured out her game. “Because I don’t want you to go.”

“Why?”

Ranma started to become flustered. The girl was quickly becoming a total enigma to him and he hated mysteries. “I don’t know. Guess you’ve just always been there and…” he began to lose it. “Look! I dunno! Why are you so concerned? Do you want to leave?”

“No”

“Then why’d you run away?”

She bit down on her lip. Not only had he evaded the question, but he had turned the tables on her. The answer had to do with what she felt inside, but she had no idea of how to say it, or even what exactly she was feeling. This was all an entirely new experience for her and she didn’t know how to deal with it. Perhaps if her great-grandmother or mother were here she could seek their advise, but as things stood, she could only rely upon herself. She knew Ranma was her friend, one of a precious few, but also unlike any other she ever had. The feelings for him felt far more intense. It shouldn’t be love. She had been taught that emotion was reserved for those that defeated you in combat, at least if one wanted a happy marriage. Still, he was a better fighter, she wasn’t even ashamed to admit it, so maybe it could be. She gave an inward sigh, it would have been so much easier if he had challenged her to combat and defeated her, but as it was, confusion reigned within. 

She was about to answer when two figures rushed toward Ranma and her. 

“Damn! Why did they have to show up now?” Shampoo thought, then backed up a little. She wasn’t sure what to say to Ranma and it may have come out wrong. Perhaps this was for the best. At the very least it would relieve some of her tension.

Ranma prepared himself for a fight when he noticed something disturbing. Ryouga appeared to be a good bit angrier than usual, but his main concern was Ukyou. There was no mistaking the gleam in her eye, something had royally pissed her off and she wasn’t even trying to hide it. Maybe it would be better if he bothered to talk to the duo before the fight to find out if something was wrong. He approached the duo even as they closed the distance to him. 

“Yo. Ryouga. What I’d do now?” 

Ukyou and Ryouga looked at each other, smiled wickedly at one another, and separated. Ranma began to leap back when Ryouga reached forward with his finger and shouted,

“BAKUSAI TENKETSU!” 

The ground exploded underneath his finger, the force of it causing Ranma to be blown backward. Even as he was flying through the air he realized if he hadn’t already been moving backward the damage would have been more severe. As it was, he still had to use a great deal of skill to land on his feet. He glanced over to see what Ukyou was up to.

Shampoo saw and heard the results of the Breaking Point. She pieced together what had happened almost instantly: her great grandmother had taught Ryouga, and possibly Ukyou, a dangerous Amazon fighting skill, one Shampoo herself had not yet mastered. Her thoughts were cut off as Ukyou came forward to deliver the same kind of blow Ryouga had just used. Forewarned, she leaped back out of range of the explosion and tried to remember everything she could about the technique. It was painful to learn, it could blow up things, but not people or animals, and there was something else, but she couldn’t recall what it was. She shouted out what she knew to Ranma.

Ranma heard what Shampoo shouted to him and felt his confidence soar. Ryouga couldn’t actually blow him up with his finger. That was a relief. Now all he had to do was keep him from blowing up everything else, then Ranma could move in and beat the daylights out of him. Of course, how one would go about moving all matter away from Ryouga was going to be a challenge in and of itself. 

Shampoo kept leaping out of Ukyou’s range as she continued to use the Breaking Point to blow things up. There was one problem with Shampoo’s strategy though, which she discovered about a minute into the fight. Running around Nerima all day was tiring and a few minutes of rest was nowhere near enough time to recover from it. Her muscles were already starting to burn from the fatigue that had built up from the miles of ground she had covered. She was quickly slowing down, becoming exhausted, unlike Ukyou who was attacking with a vigor Shampoo had never witnessed before. She looked directly at the cook’s face and was disturbed by what she saw there. In times past Ukyou had certainly appeared mad at Shampoo for some imagined wrong, but now she appeared downright homicidal. Shampoo tried to think of what she might have done to trigger that level of anger directed at her, but couldn’t figure it out. Perhaps she had served the okonomiyaki chef one defeat too many. 

Ukyou switched tactics, becoming frustrated with the lack of results from her newly learned technique. She switched over to her spatula and started swinging with it. Shampoo reversed direction, ducked under the swing, and connected with a kick to Ukyou’s midsection. The cook just stood there, unfazed by the blow.

“You call that a kick?!” Ukyou shouted. “Here’s a kick!” And with that she lashed out with a blow that connected with the Amazon’s shoulder. She then brought about her spatula again, using the edge, in an attempt to strike the Amazon. “Die Shampoo!” 

The young Amazon barely dodged in time. Shampoo remembered the final skill of the Breaking Point, “Ranma! It also makes people tougher. Normal punch no work!”

Ranma found that out on his own as he attempted a leap kick at Ryouga and bounced off the lost one. Even with his reflexes, he barely got out of the way of the next blow that Ryouga almost connected with. Ranma’s own breathing had become ragged as he felt his chest start to burn with each breath he took. He assumed Shampoo was in the same boat as he was, that both were exhausted and faced with opponents that were unusually angry with them, almost lethally so. He tried again to defuse the situation.

“Hey Ryouga. Knock it off! You can really hurt someone like this.”

Ryouga just continued to rage on. “Die Saotome! BAKUSAI TENKETSU!” 

More ground exploded as Ranma leaped out of the way of the blast. As he leaped back he suddenly encountered a stream of water that changed him in mid-air. Apparently one of Ukyou’s blows had shattered a fire hydrant, causing a stream of water to shoot up into the sky like a miniature fountain. Ranma-chan landed next to the newly geyser. If she could trick Ryouga into the water this fight would be over in a flash.

“Hey Batboy. C’mon and get some.” She stuck her tongue out in an effort to lure Ryouga into the water, but even as enraged as he was, Ryouga didn’t fall for it. Instead he drove his finger into the ground and unleashed another “Bakusai Tenketsu.”

The result was different this time. The street beneath Ryouga exploded in a huge detonation ten times the size of any of the other blows as Ryouga accidentally hit a gas main. All three remaining participants stopped and gazed at the raging conflagration that soared up into the sky.

“My God!” Ranma-chan uttered as she saw the flames continue to rise to the sky. “I don’t know if he…” Her jaw dropped as she saw a vision that appeared straight out of hell. Ryouga ran out of the inferno, still smoldering in a few places and burned in many others. But the most terrifying thing was the look on his face. He appeared to have totally lost his mind as he screamed something unintelligible at Ranma-chan and moved in for what looked like the kill. Ranma-chan jumped back to keep out of Ryouga’s way.

Shampoo was paying attention to Ukyou even as the chef watched the events. She saw Ranma-chan leaping away from Ryouga when she noticed Ukyou draw several mini-spatulas from her bandoleer. 

“No way. Stupid Spatula Girl would no hurt Ranma.” 

Shampoo couldn’t have been further from the truth as Ukyou hurled the blades at Ranma-chan’s leaping form. “RANMA LOOK OUT!”

Ranma-chan turned to the sound of the warning and saw the mini-spatulas. She was shocked at the idea that her oldest friend had actually attacked her. Fortunately, reflexes took over and she narrowly got out of the way of the hurled objects. Unfortunately, this caused her to remain low enough for Ryouga to grab onto her leg and smash Ranma-chan into the ground, bouncing her head off the asphalt and stunning the girl.

“You die now!” Ryouga drew his umbrella and prepared to drive it through Ranma-chan’s prone form. The blow was blocked by a crossed pair of bonbori as Shampoo jumped in front of Ryouga. The force of the impact was enough to drive her ankles several inches into the paved surface, but she remained upright. Ryouga lashed out with a kick to Shampoo’s now wide open midsection and sent the girl flying. Her flight was suddenly interrupted as Ukyou smashed down on Shampoo’s head with her spatula, hard. Ranma-chan had recovered enough to see Shampoo stand upright for a moment, then slump forward as her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

“Got You!” Ukyou grinned evilly at Shampoo’s unconscious form.

Ranma-chan snapped. She sprang up from her back and jumped on Ryouga, straddling his face and locking her legs behind his head. She raised back her fist and shouted.

“KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKAN!!!”

She brought her fist down repeatedly in the same spot, Ryouga’s face. To his credit he ignored the first eighty blows and drove his torso downward, smashing Ranma-chan into the asphalt once again. Ryouga attempted to stand upright, only to discover the legs remained locked behind his head. Ranma-chan once again employed the Chestnut Fist into Ryouga’s face. Despite that, he managed to raise himself to his feet again, even with the girl still on his shoulders. However, as soon as he became vertical again, he slumped to his knees. By this time, Ranma-chan had landed over three hundred blows and wasn’t giving any indications she was stopping anytime soon. The count was up to the three hundred and eighty one when she finally stopped. Ukyou’s spatula had connected with the area of flesh between the shoulder and neck, causing enough pain to drive Ranma-chan into unconsciousness. Her still form fell to the ground.

“We’ve done it!” Ukyou was practically frothing at the mouth as she paused to consider what to do next. She knew she had to hit someone.

“Oh! Those are pretty lights.” Ryouga’s voice sounded distant and his eyes were glazed over. Ukyou didn’t pay any attention to the distraction as she looked down at Ranma-chan’s unconscious form, considering what to do next. Ryouga’s next statement cut through the red haze that covered her thoughts. 

“She has a pretty glow.” Ryouga pointed over Ukyou’s shoulder.

She turned to see Shampoo had recovered enough to stand up once again. There was now a blue aura that hugged her body. A closer examination revealed that the blue aura seemed to have the texture of scales, similar to a reptile’s.

Shampoo’s eyes locked onto Ranma-chan’s fallen form, then turned to Ukyou. Each girl sported identical looks of hatred. 

“YOU HURT RANMA! I KILL YOU!!!”

“YOU’RE GOING TO DIE FIRST!!!”

Both girls simultaneously leaped at each other.

Happosai was sitting on the new stash of underwear that he had “rescued” earlier in the day. He enjoyed the texture of a pair of smooth cotton panties that he ran along his face when he felt the release of chi energy and heard an explosion in the distance. He turned to the direction of the sound.

“That had to hurt.” Losing interest, he went back to playing with his underwear.

Cologne had observed the entire fight from her vantage point on a building overlooking the war zone. She began speaking to herself.

“So. You surprise me once again granddaughter. You have somehow mastered the Dragon’s Scales. Very impressive indeed. I believe you have won the day.” Despite the fact that she had been thwarted, Cologne felt a certain amount of pride in Shampoo. The youth was becoming an even greater warrior than before. If only the price wasn’t so high.

She continued to stare down at the carnage the quartet had caused in all of five minutes. If someone had taken a picture and shown it to the world, it appeared as though someone had marched through this area of Nerima with a tank division, guns blazing. At least most of the buildings had already been slated for demolition. Just as the dust started to clear from the latest mix of irresistible force meeting immovable object, Cologne spotted a movement on the top of an adjacent roof. Curiosity led her to check out just who would risk watching a fight that was obviously so dangerous.

Back at ground zero, a small crater had been newly formed by the two girls connecting with one another. Shampoo’s glow had disappeared, but her stance indicated she was ready for more. Ukyou on the other hand, was obviously staggered and could barely remain upright. Shampoo stalked over, grabbed Ukyou by the collar, and drew back her fist.

“YOU…” she lashed out, snapping Ukyou’s head back.

“HURT…” a second punch with the same results.

“RANMA!” a third.

“YOU…” a fourth blow. This time, Ukyou’s head did not snap back. Shampoo shook her around until she could land a good blow on the okonomiyaki chef’s cranium.

“HURT…” a fifth blow. By this time, Shampoo was the only thing keeping Ukyou upright.

“RANMA!” She unleashed a sixth punch.

“YOU…” This time, as she drew her fist back, she felt a sudden weight on it, causing her to delay the blow. She turned to see a girl holding onto the Amazon’s arm for dear life. To Shampoo, the girl seemed to be familiar somehow.

“Shampoo stop it! You’re going to hurt her.”

Shampoo released Ukyou and focused on the newcomer, trying to recognize her. The Amazon’s head hurt and she was having a terrible time concentrating. She stared at the girl until it finally came to her. Ranma. The girl’s name was Ranma

Ranma-chan looked at Shampoo and became very worried. It was obvious the Amazon was having trouble focusing her attention on her, and she didn’t even want to think about what shape Ukyou was in. At least Ryouga seemed relatively healthy, except for the fact he kept talking to the sky about pretty lights. Ranma-chan turned her attention back to Shampoo as the Amazon reached out and gently caressed Ranma-chan’s face. 

“You Ranma?” That caused the red head to panic. She was having trouble recognizing her. 

“Yes.” 

“You O.K?” Ranma-chan nodded her head. “Good.” And with that Shampoo passed out.

Ranma-chan, barely managed to catch her with her good arm. Ukyou’s blow had temporarily paralyzed her right arm. At least she prayed it was only temporary. As things stood, she could only use her left. She started to carry Shampoo off when she remembered Ukyou. No matter what happened during the fight, she wouldn’t leave her behind. Ranma-chan called out to Ryouga since he seemed to have calmed down a little.

“Ryouga! Pick up Ucchan and follow me.” Thankfully, Ryouga got up and obeyed. 

The girl stood on the rooftop, and looked down at the two figures moving away from the battle site carrying their burdens. She was dressed in a Chinese style pink and black outfit, an elaborate tiger design colored in gold upon the chest. The girl was heavily armed, bearing a naginta strapped across her back, as well as a sword and single bonbori at her sides. In her black gloved hands she wielded a bow, an arrow drawn back in the bowstring. The target was the girl draped over Ranma-chan’s back.

<“It would be so easy to end your miserable life now Shampoo. Just one arrow and you would never know what hit you.> The girl spoke softly, but the tone carried nothing but pure hatred.

The girl whirled to see the who the newcomer was that had managed to successfully sneak up on her. Her eyes widened in shock as she lowered her weapon.

Cologne now had a clear view of the girl’s features. She appeared to be about sixteen with medium length pink hair. The youth had strikingly beautiful features, at least what could be seen of them was attractive, for the style of hair she had covered the entire left half of her face. Her height and weight were similar to Shampoo’s, though she wasn’t quiet as busty. It was exactly who Cologne suspected it was. The girl had changed a great deal since the last time she had seen her.

The girl regained her composure and answered the matriarch. She shifted her gaze to Shampoo’s departing form and added, 

The girl felt the bile rise from her stomach. The matriarch knew why she was here and Cologne possessed the right to deny her the challenge that she sought. In fact, she probably would, since Shampoo was her great granddaughter and the challenge could easily be considered flimsy by many. It wasn’t fair. She had waited so long for this moment and it was going to be taken away from her. She almost wished she had loosed the arrow, consequences be damned.

Those were perhaps the hardest words that ever passed from her lips. 

Cologne paused and looked the girl in the eye. _And with that the matriarch departed, leaving the girl staring wide eyed at her departing form. It took almost a full minute for the impact of what was just said to settle in._

_The girl raised her head to the skies and gave a deep, sonorous laugh. Surely the gods smiled on her, she who would at long last have the vengeance she so richly deserved._

_Ryouga followed Ranma-chan like a puppy, managing to stay with her despite the fact he usually had difficulty following his nose. The duo arrived at Dr. Tofu’s, which currently had no patients, allowing the doctor to quickly assess the injuries the four of them sported. Shortly after arriving, Shampoo started to come around followed by Ukyou. Even Ryouga became more coherent. After a couple hours, Tofu rendered his verdicts._

_“The resilience you four are displaying is nothing short of incredible.” He finished using a penlight on Ryouga’s pupils, then walked over to Ranma. “Your nerves are just a little stunned in that arm of yours.” The feeling in Ranma’s arm had returned and it almost felt like normal. “You should be fully recovered by tomorrow.” He turned to Shampoo. “You have a very minor concussion. If you have any problems with your head or thinking, let me know, otherwise you should be fine. He turned to the remaining two._

_“You two, on the other hand, are not so good. Miss Kuonji,” He handled her face gently since it was still very swollen from the beating she suffered from Shampoo. “You have multiple contusions which are going to make your face feel really sensitive for a while. Use lots of ice.”_

_He turned to Ryouga. “You sir, are the worst of the lot. You have second degree burns over much of your body and first degree burns over the rest. That’s not to mention the major concussion you sustained. Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?”_

_Ryouga protested, “No. And the lights are getting much smaller.”_

_Dr. Tofu stared at Ryouga. “Fine. I’ll downgrade it to minor concussion. Feel better?” Ryouga nodded his head. I want to keep you around for a few hours to make sure you don’t suffer a relapse. That’s it for the lot of you. And please try to be more careful in the future.”_

_Ranma looked at Tofu. “Doc, can we have a little privacy? There’s some stuff we gotta discuss in private.”_

_“I won’t tolerate any fighting. Keep whatever it is civil or I’ll take action. Do I make myself clear?” Everyone nodded. Actually, Ryouga was already periodically nodding, but his timing was such no one noticed he wasn’t paying attention. Once the doctor left Ranma turned towards Ukyou and Ryouga._

_Ukyou had been fearing this moment ever since she regained consciousness and realized what she had done, and what she had tried to do. The look on Ranma’s face told her who would be the main recipient of his anger._

_“I would almost expect something like this from that moron, but you Ukyou?” That hurt her worse than any blow she had received the entire week. Ukyou, not Ucchan._

_Ranma continued his diatribe. “I thought you were my friend. I overlooked what was going on between you and Shampoo ‘cause I was happy you came back into my life. And I really appreciated how you believed me when I told you Pop was the one who screwed everything up. You don’t even mind my curse. I even went so far as to try and get Shampoo to stop the fights, which wasn’t fair to her because you’re the one that starts almost all of them. But now, I wonder if you were ever really my friend. Teaming up with Cologne? You knew she was after Shampoo, I told you, but you sided with her anyway!”_

_Ranma’s first accusation felt like a knife had been plunged into her gut. Each one after that felt like someone was twisting the knife. She wanted to defend herself, but realized that Ranma was right. Every statement was true. It was like some kind of terrible truth serum that caused others to speak what you knew deep down inside. So instead of protesting, she took the criticism leveled at her._

_“What you did today is inexcusable. Bad enough you attacked me, and I still don’t know why. But trying to kill Shampoo, and that was exactly what you did, that is going over the edge. How could you?”_

_She tried hard not to break down. She could feel she was losing her oldest friend, if she hadn’t lost him already, and there was nothing she could do about it. Still, she had to try to tell him what happened, even if he didn’t believe her._

_“It was weird. At first I didn’t really want to fight. But once I started to get excited about it, a red haze seemed to come over my thoughts. I just knew I had to beat up someone, and Shampoo was the one in my mind. Somehow as the fight progressed you entered into my sight as an enemy. I…” Her voice started to fail her, “…I wanted to hurt you too. I’m sorry.” She was trying desperately to keep from crying, and failing._

_Ranma began to speak again when Shampoo cut him off. She spoke directly to Ukyou. “Did Great Grandmother tap you on back?”_

_She recalled the instance when Cologne pushed her in the back with the staff. “Yes. Why?”_

_“Just wanted to know if she still do that. Ranma, we need talk,” and without waiting for a response, she grabbed Ranma and walked out to the hall with him. Once outside she spoke to him in a low whisper. “Shampoo hate to admit, but is no Spatula Girl’s fault.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_Shampoo sighed, then began her story. “Great-Grandmother use Aggression Point Technique. It way of making warrior into much fiercer person. But problem is no can control. It easy to start attacking everyone when no can find opponent want, so it not used often. Only way to get rid of is touch right spot, knock person out, or exhaust them.”_

_“So you think that’s what happened to them?” She nodded. “How can you be sure?” Ranma questioned._

_“Because Great Grandmother use on Shampoo once.” She hesitated, then continued, “It not pleasant experience. It happen just way Spatula Girl say. And it happen when tapped on back in right spot.”_

_A smile formed on Ranma’s lips. “So what you’re saying is, the old ghoul’s responsible for how they’ve been acting?”_

_Shampoo hesitated again. “It not last that long. So they must have went away with great grandmother to learn Breaking Point because they want to. But it does explain why Stupid Spatula Girl fight way she did today.”_

_Ranma’s smile disappeared before it was fully formed. “So they volunteered to attack us.” A frown appeared. “Still, we should let ‘em know what the ghoul did to them.”_

_Shampoo placed a hand on Ranma’s shoulder to restrain him. “May not be such good idea. If tell they may want beat up Great Grandmother, but is no way they can win. And Great Grandmother hurt them if they attack.”_

_Ranma’s eyebrows shot up. “Sounds like you care what happens to them.”_

_Shampoo turned and crossed her arms, a scowl appearing on her face. “Shampoo no care what happens to Stupid Spatula Girl. Can fall into bottomless pit and never see again. I no mind.”_

_Ranma just stared at Shampoo’s back. “Anyway, you may be right. Ryouga would be stupid enough to go after her. Just because he’s annoying doesn’t mean I want him dead. We’ll keep quiet about it.” He turned to go back into the recovery room, “But I’m still angry at them. Let’s say our good-byes and get out of here.”_

_Ukyou watched Ranma shut the door behind him as Ryouga finally came around enough to pay attention to what was going on._

_“He’s got a lot of nerve. Just wait until…” Ukyou cut him off._

_“Shut Up! We deserve everything he said.” She paused to reign in her emotions. “We let ourselves be used.”_

_“It’s not that way at all,” Ryouga defended. “I think she did something to us to make us lose control like that.”_

_Ukyou turned on Ryouga, “Of course she did! So what? We asked her to. Hell, we practically begged her to teach us how to beat up those two. Why should we feel bad about her doing something to help make us tougher? Who needs a conscience to get in the way?” Tears long restrained starting coming forward. “You were right. I wanted to beat up Shampoo for the same reasons you did. I just tried fooling myself into believing they weren’t. I kept telling myself my motives were pure, unlike yours, but I was just as wrong._

_“And now, I may have lost everything. I just tried to kill my best friend Ryouga, and for what? Because I don’t like Shampoo, that’s all. It’s not really hate, she hasn’t done anything to earn that. I just don’t like her.” She paused for a moment. “You know, I could have been perfectly happy with everything I have, but I don’t think I know how to be happy. For years I obsessed about Ran-chan,” she paused again. “No, I guess that’s Ranma now. He probably wants nothing to do with me, and he’d be right. I hated him for years and drove myself to beat him. I just wanted to make him pay for what he did to me. Then, once I found out he wasn’t to blame, I switched my obsession to Shampoo. It was so much easier to just transfer my hatred to someone else instead of letting it go. I can’t believe I was so blind.” Her voice changed, sounding more confident, “I will not live life that way. It’s over! From now on, I’m letting go of my hatred. I’m going to treasure everything I have,” she paused as her shoulders slumped. “I mean everything I have left.”_

_She turned to Ryouga her voice softening. “I also can’t live with someone like that either. It’s wrong. Ryouga, if you want to work for me, stay with me, you have to change. No more trying to beat up Ran-ch…” She stopped and corrected herself. “Ranma. You have to let it go.”_

_Ryouga couldn’t bring himself to look at her face, so instead looked down at the floor. “I don’t know if I can. It’s the way I am.”_

_Ukyou’s voice became slightly chilled. “I’m going back home. I would appreciate it if you waited a few hours before coming back.” She got up and left._

_Ryouga lay back and stared at the ceiling of the office. Part of him wanted to let go of his anger, but another part still wanted to beat Ranma. Even now, despite everything that happened, he still felt frustrated because he lost to him again. As he lay back and allowed his mind to wander, a thought finally hit him. A voice from deep within said, “If you can’t let go of your rage, you will be failing her as surely as you did in the nightmare that demon created.” Those words may have made the difference, had it not been for the concussion that was still effecting him. The thought drifted from his mind almost as quickly as it entered._

_After several hours he departed Dr. Tofu’s. He had no desire to return to Uk-Chan’s, but he had nowhere else to go. He began wandering, lost in depression and thought. In time, his head started to clear up and thoughts became more distinct. He kept asking himself if he really wanted to change or not. That was the crux of the matter. He didn’t know if he could change after all this time. Eventually, he realized the sun was high overhead._

_“Damn. I wandered around all night.” He turned to a blond man who was putting some crates on a ship._

_“Excuse me. Where am I?”_

_The man spoke in English. “I got no idea what you said mate.”_

_Ryouga asked again in English. The man replied, “You’re in Sydney, Australia.”_

_Ryouga was totally bewildered. Now that he though about it, he did remember someone saying something about a ship, and he did walk in lot of circles. Panic began to overtake him, but he stopped and collected his thoughts. Maybe this was for the best. He needed time to think, and he didn’t want to go back to Nerima, to Ukyou, until he knew what his answer would be. He just hoped it would be the right one._

_End Notes:  
The explanations of references to “Crazed cultist” “First Shieldmaiden” and attempted marriage’s to Ranma and Ryouga. Not all of the events that happen to the cast in Shampoo ½ are written down. This was an instance of a relatively unimportant event. The only reason it was mentioned was to explain why Ranma and Shampoo has become so much better than Ryouga and Ukyou. Basically here’s what happened. A member of a cult designated as “First Shieldmaiden” received a garbled prophecy from her “Goddess.” It told her to marry “Ryouga Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts” and gave a description of both Ryouga and Ranma, making it sound like it was one person. She identified Ranma and sent a challenge to him, which allowed him one week to prepare. Ryouga attended the fight, wanting to see Ranma beaten up. The First Shieldmaiden became confused by his presence and decided to marry both of them. Once she realized they were cursed. She quit the cult and retired._

_Special Thanks to  
Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Kevin R. Wible_


	11. Sins of the Past I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shampoo's sins from the past comes back to hunt her down

Prologue

Ryunoske smiled to himself. He was going to leave the office on time for a delightful change. Ibuki would be waiting to pick him up so the two could celebrate their twelfth wedding anniversary in style with reservations at Ma Maison, and afterwards they would get started on raising that family that had always been dreamed of. Of course that would entail many attempts at producing some children, a task he looked forward to. With a sigh of relief he finished closing his files, shut the computer down and headed for the door. First one in, last one out. Same way it had been all year since he was promoted to manager. He emerged from the office and managed to make it all of ten feet from the door when he noticed something terribly wrong. It was the first time he had been outside all day and was completely unprepared for the scene before him. The odd weather patterns in Nerima had become even more bizarre and unpredictable in the last few months, but this was one for the books. Red clouds decorated the sky and gave everything an eerie crimson glow. The only thing it compared to would have been pictures of a Martian landscape. As he stared skyward, trying to figure out how an atmospheric anomaly like that was possible, he noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye. He whipped his head around to catch sight of it and, for the briefest of moments, thought he spotted something standing atop one of the roofs nearby. A closer inspection revealed nothing. Somehow, that disturbed him more than if he had seen something. He continued looking for it when a hand touched his shoulder, causing him to jump. Ibuki had come over to greet him and was less than pleased with his reaction.

"Unhappy to see me?"

Ryunoske shook his head, then put on his best smile for his spouse. "Of course not. I just thought I saw something. A gargoyle maybe."

His wife laughed. "You've been working too hard. Let me show you how to unwind, tonight." She kissed him on the cheek, hinting of things to come, then turned to leave. Ryunoske followed, still disturbed by what he thought he saw out of the corner of his eye.

The object of his discomfort stood away from the edge of the building she had been perched on only moments before, choosing not to announce her presence to the world. The pink haired Amazon looked up to the skies, a small smile creased her mouth as a rumble could be heard from the clouds above.

"Red skies. The color of blood. A good omen."

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 11

Sins of the Past I

by D.B. Sommer  
Standard disclaimer:  
I don't own any of these characters. They belong to the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.  
Project A-ko owned by someone else.

Azatlan has provided a home for Shampoo 1/2 at:  
~azatlan/

C+C always desired. (Please!)  
you can email me at sommer

An alternate universe:  
What has gone on before, (or what you need to know to enjoy this fic.) The Saotomes traveled to Jusekyou and began to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already began a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and accidentally became engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. On the first day of school, water and confusion mixed causing everyone to believe Ranma-chan is Shampoo and Shampoo-kun is Ranma. Most of the women in the school have been attempting to defeat "Ranma" in order to date him ever since. Last chapter, Kasumi broke up with Dr. Tofu while Akane defeated the Dojo Destroyer one on one. Cologne managed to dupe Ukyou and Ryouga into fighting Shampoo and Ranma by teaching the duo the Breaking Point, then employing the Aggression Point to increase their battle rage. After a brutal fight with injuries to all, Ukyou swore off fighting Shampoo while Ryouga couldn't give up trying to beat Ranma. Ryouga then wandered off, trying to come to a decision about what to do with his life. After the fight, a figure from Shampoo's past had caught up to her, intent on proving some sins cannot be forgiven...

Denotes Chinese

Part 1  
The Storm Builds

Kasumi swept the house with the practice ease of years. By now she could have done it with her eyes closed if she chose to, without missing a spot. The same routine she had done before, and would do a hundred times more. It was unusually quiet today. Happosai had dropped by for a visit, taking her father and Genma out on a business trip (panty raid) with him, leaving Kasumi alone. She didn't really mind. The quiet was a contrast to the chaos that usually ensued with Ranma and Shampoo around. Her reverie was interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

She opened the door only to see an attractive young girl, about sixteen, with medium length pink hair that was worn in such a way as to cover the left side of her face. A pink and black Chinese style outfit with an elaborate golden tiger design on the chest clothed her body, insulting it from the weather. The youth was armed with naginta, sword, and bonbori, her stance indicating she was every bit the warrior she appeared. She delivered a graceful bow before the woman who had answered the door.

"Greetings Miss. Is this the residence of Shampoo?" The youth smiled politely as she addressed Kasumi.

"Would that be Shampoo or Shampoo Saotome?"

The pink haired youth stared in confusion at the older girl, and paused for a moment "Shampoo I believe. Just Shampoo. The purple haired one from China." She watched Kasumi intently, waiting for the response.

"Why yes, it is then."

Happiness was etched on the girl's features. "Ah! Excellent. You see, I'm an old friend of Shampoo's that just happened to be in Nerima and decided to drop by for a visit. Is she in right now?"

Kasumi shook her head, then took in the newcomer fully. "Forgive me for mentioning this, but you seem heavily armed."

The girl maintained her pleasant demeanor. "The world is a dangerous place. One must be prepared."

"I guess you're right." The eldest Tendo paused in thought for a moment. "Are you a friend from China?" The newcomer nodded, causing Kasumi to frown. "I'm sorry. I can't let you in."

The girl appeared puzzled, but continued to smile. "Why not?"

"I can't let you take her back to China."

That gave the Amazon pause again. a frown creased her brow momentarily, then disappeared as she replied, "I see. Well, I assure you, my goal is not to take Shampoo back to China. I give you my word as a bond." She gave another deep bow before the eldest Tendo.

Kasumi considered her words then came to her decision. "Well that's good enough for me. I believe Shampoo mentioned she'd be back in a little while. Why don't you wait inside?"

The Amazon accepted. Kasumi ushered her into the living room and offered some food, which the girl politely refused.

"Is this visit a surprise?" Kasumi inquired.

The girl gave a mysterious smile. "Oh yes. I imagine it will be quite a surprise."

Shampoo was almost bouncing as she made her way back to the Tendo Dojo. Shopping had gone well, and she found all of the materials needed to accomplish her goal. The money she made doing the martial arts exhibition at school had proven useful. She earned every cent of it too. Every single one of the damn girls and half the guys wanted one on one sessions with her when she was in male form. The former hoping to beat her and get a date, the latter trying to beat her up so the girls wouldn't keep trying to hit on her. Now all that was needed was time to complete the task, then she could unveil it for Ranma. She picked up her pace, it wouldn't do to be caught by him with the materials in hand. The boy was dense sometimes, but even he might be able to put two and two together if he noticed what it was she carried. For all her joy, there was something tempering it. It was the weather. Something about the red skies bothered her.

It took her only a few minutes to arrive at the dojo. No sounds of battle were coming forth, a good sign Ranma and Akane were not present, though lately they seemed to be arguing a little less. As she entered Kasumi appeared, a wide smile on her face.

"Shampoo. I have a surprise for you. Follow me"

The Amazon smiled back. She hadn't seen Kasumi this joyous for some time, and her happiness was infectious. Shampoo placed her bags on the floor of the entryway and followed Kasumi to the backyard.

"What going on?"

"You'll see." It appeared to Shampoo that Kasumi was going to keep her in the dark until the last moment. She couldn't figure out what the surprise could be. Not for the life of her.

Kasumi slid open the door to the backyard and allowed Shampoo a full view of it. She looked quizzically at it until she noticed a figure, dressed in pink and black, with her back to the house. The figure was going through a kata, moving fluidly through it. A feeling if dread started to build up in Shampoo's breast. It was a familiar pattern.

"It's an old friend from China. She seemed very enthusiastic to see you."

The figure turned to face Shampoo.

"She said her name was..."

"Perfume." Shampoo's voice was barely audible as she recognized the pink haired figure before her. The surprise lasted but a moment. "Get back Kasumi! She's dangerous!" Shampoo wrapped her arm around Kasumi and pushed the eldest Tendo behind her, as if to shield the girl.

Perfume gave a wicked little smile at the newly arrived Amazon. "Is that any way to talk to an old friend? One would think you weren't happy to see me. And after all this time as well." She made a small noise of disapproval as she walked over to where her weapons lay. The girl pulled out a pair of black gloves, and slowly began placing them over her hands.

"What are you doing here?" Shampoo's voice had become quiet once again.

"Now, now. We mustn't be rude. I'm certain your friend can't speak Chinese. We should be polite and let her understand." She gave another false smile to Shampoo

"What you doing here?" Shampoo repeated.

Perfume gave a flat look with her eyes. "You know why I'm here."

"What's going on?" The events that were transpiring left Kasumi horribly confused. "I thought you two were friends. Why are you behaving like this?"

Perfume gave an innocent expression to Kasumi. "But we are old friends. We go back a long way. Isn't that right Shampoo?"

Shampoo ignored the girl. "Kasumi please leave. Shampoo not want you to have to see what happens."

"Nonsense. Remain where you are Miss Tendo." Perfume interrupted. Her tone was polite, yet forceful, having just a hint of insistence. "You should see what occurs." She looked back towards Shampoo as she finished putting on her gloves. "All fights should have an audience, and I don't want anyone to refute the outcome."

Kasumi started to become really scared. This was supposed to be a time of joy. Shampoo's friend had came all the way from Joketsuzoku to visit her. Instead, it looked like they were going to have some kind of showdown. "But you swore you wouldn't take Shampoo back to China."

The girl's smile disappeared as she retrieved her naginta. She began spinning it around, allowing the weapon to play in her hands as she loosened up. "I apologize for misleading you Kasumi Tendo, though I assure you I didn't lie. You see, I'm not going to take Shampoo back to China." She leveled her stare at Shampoo.

"I fully intend upon killing her here in Japan."

Kasumi paled at the statement. The pleasant girl she had met at the door and conversed with was gone, replaced by a homicidal monster intent on killing Shampoo.

"What you want?" Shampoo asked.

Perfume stared at Shampoo for a moment and considered how to word the answer. Hate was in her voice as she responded. "What I want? What I want is to see you laying in a pool of your own blood, looking into my eyes, begging for mercy where you know there is none, but doing it anyway. I want to watch as the light slowly leaves your eyes and you body grows cold. I want you to die, knowing that I am your executioner. That is what I want!"

She paused, allowing the statement to sink in. "But knowing you, I guess I'll just have to settle with your death. You can't always get what you want." Her face lost some of its intensity as she shrugged, then pointed her polearm at Shampoo. "For the wrongs you leveled against me when last we met. For the betrayal you made of our friendship. For the ruin you made of my life. I hereby formally challenge you to a duel Shampoo. A duel to the death."

Shampoo gazed sadly at Perfume. She had made the challenge, observing the forms correctly, making her intent clearly known. Refusal or acceptance. No real choice at all.

"I accept."

Perfume gave a predatory smile. "I knew you still had it in you. You haven't changed that much, not at all. Collect your weapons. I grant you five minutes to prepare before our match begins."

Shampoo retrieved her bonbori from within the house and quickly began several exercises to loosen up, preparing herself for the fight. To her, each moment lasted an eternity, and still the five minutes passed all too quickly. She felt reluctant to fight, not out of fear, but out of something else. Both girls dropped into battle stances.

"Reminds you of the last time we met, doesn't it?" Perfume examined Shampoo's face intently, watching for any hint of emotion, but the fear she desired was not there. "Even the skies are the same. Perhaps this is one of those moments of destiny you hear the elders talk about. Would you agree?" Shampoo didn't answer. "So. You believe using the same tactics will work once more. Think again."

Perfume rushed, blade forward. Shampoo raised a bonbori to block the thrust, but it never arrived. Perfume switched her grip almost faster than the eye could follow, and changed tactics, bringing the blunt end of the polearm up into Shampoo's midsection and winding her almost instantly. The pink haired Amazon backed off, observing the damage inflicted.

"I should warn you, I've gotten a lot better since the last time we met. Three years of burning hatred tends to help you focus on your goal." She came in with another series of attacks, Shampoo barely blocking the majority of them.

Kasumi watched the duel unfold, fear building with each blow. Her training in the martial arts was limited, but even she could tell Shampoo was losing. Her friend was put on the defensive from almost the beginning, and the few times she was able to deliver return swings with her bonbori they were easily deflected. Kasumi was not the only one to notice Shampoo's lack of success.

"Don't you understand what's going on Shampoo?" Perfume came in high with a series of attacks, forcing Shampoo to give ground with ridiculous ease. "I'm trying to kill you and you're barely putting forth enough effort to keep a twelve year old at bay." The challenger deflected a swing from a bonbori. "Don't you dare disappoint me. Fight harder!"

Perfume swung her naginta overhead in a circle, catching Shampoo in the jaw with the haft. She backed off again, evaluating the damage the had been inflicted on her opponent once more. "I said fight harder! Three years I've been waiting for this moment. Three years! I want to savor it and you're so pathetic my pulse is barely quickened. You're holding back, I can tell." She attacked Shampoo again. "Fight harder!"

Shampoo attempted to treat her opponent to a series of attacks. All of them easily blocked as well, causing Perfume to become further enraged.

"I told you to stop holding back!" She struck out again. "You think this is a game?! You think I'm not serious?! You think I won't kill you?! Let me show you!" She thrust the naginta forward as Shampoo tried to block it with her weapon. The block failed as the blade slashed upward and opened a large gash in Shampoo's left arm, causing her to drop a bonbori.

Kasumi finally snapped. "STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!"

Shampoo noticed Kasumi begin to move forward. "Get Back!" She pointed her weapon in a threatening gesture to the eldest Tendo, causing her to back up. Shampoo then returned to defending against Perfume.

"Nice to see you still have some honor." Perfume renewed her assault, scoring a few minor cuts and one solid kick. Just as she came in with an overhand thrust, Shampoo finally saw an opening and lashed out with a kick to sweep Perfume's legs out from under her. She succeeding in knocking her opponent off her feet, then attempted to finish the fight with a hard strike with the remaining bonbori. Too late, the blow shattered the ground where Perfume's head had been a moment ago as the pink haired Amazon narrowly escaped the strike. Perfume quickly leaped to her feet.

"You call that an attack? That was laughable." For all her bravado, Perfume went into a more cautious method of attack as the fight continued.

Kasumi bit down on her nails in worry. Somewhere in the back of her mind she scolded herself. She had broken that particular habit eight years ago, and here she was doing it again. Consciously she continued observing the fight. Aside from the leg sweep, Shampoo hadn't come close to retaking the initiative. Worse, with only one weapon she was getting hit more and more. None of the new cuts were serious, though the gash on the arm was still bleeding, but they were adding up.

"Ranma. Please hurry!" she thought to herself. He was the only one that could save Shampoo now. He wasn't supposed to be gone for very long. Just out for a little walk he said. He had to hurry, before something terrible happened.

Something terrible did happen. Shampoo managed to come in close, cutting off Perfume's reach advantage, and swung her bonbori at her opponent's head. The pink haired Amazon seemed to flow out of the way and delivered an elbow to her opponent's head, then followed it up with a backfist to the same spot. As Shampoo recovered she saw that Perfume had leaped back so there was enough room to employ her naginta once again. The attempt to block the downward slash was slow and off the mark. The naginta hit cleanly, producing a deep cut better than six inches in length along her right side. Shampoo staggered back from the pain as her hand instinctively went to the new opening in an attempt to staunch the flow.

From were she stood, Kasumi could see that the cut was deep and the blood came forth all too quickly. It was more blood than she had ever seen in her entire life.

Perfume knew it was over. The purple haired Amazon could barely stand and was disoriented from the pain. The blood flowed freely from the wound, and she so wanted to admire the shade of red it was darkening Shampoo's clothes with. The challenger inhaled deeply as she viewed the scene with something close to ecstasy. Now that her opponent had been defeated, it felt as though a great weight had been lifted off of Perfume's shoulders. For years this had been building from within, a legacy of sorts. A legacy of the betrayal. A legacy that was now being passed down to its rightful owner.

Overall, the fight was a tremendous disappointment for the girl. She had hoped that it would have been one which would have lasted hours, so she could really have enjoyed each and every blow, but Shampoo's skills kept that from occurring. Perfume was more than a little convinced that her old friend had been holding back, despite the lethalness of the battle. Why she would was totally beyond her. The look that had been in Shampoo's eyes all those years ago convinced her the purple haired Amazon possessed no mercy, regardless of what Perfume believed at one time. As she gazed at Shampoo's face, she saw defiance still resided in the eyes. Deep in her heart Perfume knew that she wouldn't ever be able to truly crush her spirit. Shampoo was many things, but a coward was not one of them.

"Time to finish it," she silently decided. Perfume drove the butt end of the naginta into Shampoo's solar plexus once again, then lashed out with a kick into the chest, driving Shampoo's reeling form into the koi pond. Even as the water settled the Amazon didn't move. Perfume shifted her hold on the polearm and drove forward with all her strength at Shampoo's heart.

Kasumi was already in motion when she saw Shampoo land in the pond. She made certain the last thoughts she had were for her family. She apologized for leaving them so soon, hoping they wouldn't mourn her too long. They had already lost so much when their mother passed on, and now she would be dying as well. There was a responsibility to them, for certain, but she also had a responsibility towards herself and others too. Her only hope was that they would understand why she did what she did, and why she just couldn't stand by. At least she would get to see her mother again. Kasumi had missed her so much over the years.

She hurled herself on top of Shampoo's chest. Her heart directly over that of her ex-fiancee's.

Everything seemed to slow down as Kasumi felt the tip of the blade press against her flesh though the dress. It seemed to take forever as she felt the metal nudge against her skin and slowly pierce it. There was a bit of pain as it broke through, then nothing. She was surprised that there wasn't more agony involved in dying, and there was a bit of disappointment that her life didn't pass before her eyes. It had been her understanding that was what was supposed to happen when you went on to your final rest.

Kasumi was in for another disappointment.

She felt more pain as the small tip of metal that had found its way into her was extracted. It took her another moment to realize she was still quite alive, and in no danger of dying from the wound she received. She looked up in amazement, trying to understand what had just happened. Perfume was still standing over both her and Shampoo's forms, naginta drawn back once more, ready to lash out again. Her face was a mask of rage as she screamed,

"GET OFF HER NOW KASUMI TENDO, OR I SWEAR I WILL RUN YOU THROUGH AS WELL!"

Kasumi shook her head, realizing the nightmare was not over yet. Tears finally began to flow as the full weight of the consequences of her action started to sink in.

"I won't move. Ever."

She felt a foot wedge itself against her stomach as Shampoo struggled under her. It took less than a second to realize what the girl under her was attempting.

"NO! Shampoo stop!" The plea was ignored as Kasumi felt the leg finally brace itself firmly against her abdomen and push forward, sending her sprawling several feet away.

Perfume looked down at the now clear path her naginta had to Shampoo. It was good to see the girl still had some sense of honor, and Perfume had no desire to kill the foolish woman who had tried to prevent her from attaining her rightful vengeance. The pink haired Amazon lunged forward with the weapon once again.

Shampoo-kun was afraid he wouldn't have been able to shove Kasumi out of the way before Perfume decided to finish the job. Now that he had a moment before the blade buried itself into his chest, he considered what his final thoughts would be. At first, it had happened so quickly there hadn't been time to think of anything. Now, as the blade descended, the only thing that came to mind was that he was sorry he hadn't had a chance to say good-bye to Ranma.

Shampoo-kun watched the weapon come forward and...

stop, the blade poised no more than an inch above his heart. He looked into Perfume's face and only saw confusion. The pink haired Amazon slowly stepped back, staring in openmouthed wonder at Shampoo-kun.

"Wh...wh...what's going on?" The victor of the fight stood over her fallen foe, finger pointed in an accusing manner at Shampoo-kun. The light of realization came on after she had stood there for close to ten seconds.

"Nanniichuan?" she stammered out. "Nanniichuan? You fell into Nanniichuan?" Shampoo-kun could do nothing but nod his head. Perfume went from confusion back to rage. "You fool! Do you realize what you've done? What could have possessed you to go to Jusenkyou?" Shampoo-kun chose not to respond to the question. No explanations were owed.

Perfume stood back. A panicked look entered her eyes as she attempted to regain her composure. A thousand different thoughts collided within her mind as she considered what to do. At last she came to a decision.

"Damn you! Damn you! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!" She was shaking from her fury as she screamed in rage at Shampoo-kun. The girl ran to the wall surrounding the yard and leaped over, leaving Shampoo-kun and Kasumi staring in confusion.

Ranma was returning from his jog through the park. No fights today for the young martial artist, generally making it a good day. Rare were the occasions when he had a moments peace to himself, and he treasured them whenever they could be found. He was within sight of the dojo when he spotted Perfume leap over the wall and run off at top speed. Sensing danger, he raced to the house leaping over the wall into the backyard. He reeled in surprise at the scene of carnage before him. Shampoo-kun was lying on the ground with Kasumi kneeling over him, trying to stop the bleeding from the wound in his side.

"Shampoo!" Ranma rushed over in a panic. He heard Shampoo-kun trying to calm the near hysterical Kasumi down, assuring her that the cut wasn't bad. Ranma could see Shampoo-kun was a poor liar, the makeshift bandage Kasumi had pressed against his side was almost soaked through with blood. Shampoo-kun spotted Ranma.

"Shampoo have off day. Sorry." He gave a weak smile in Ranma's direction.

Kasumi finally composed herself. "Ranma call an ambulance and hurry back here. We might need you to help us if she comes back."

He obeyed and hurried inside, made the call and returned. Kasumi gave him more orders on what to grab and how he could help. As he moved to help, Shampoo-kun informed him of what had happened during the fight.

Shampoo-kun began shivering as he finished the tale. "I'm cold Ranma." There was no mistaking the look of panic in his eyes.

Kasumi remained composed this time. "He's going into shock. Get a blanket. Anything to keep him warm." She began to elevate Shampoo-kun's legs.

Ranma got up to move when he heard the sirens of the ambulance approach. Once they arrived, the crew placed Shampoo-kun inside and informed the duo that there was only enough room for one more passenger. Ranma began to threaten the paramedics when Kasumi calmed him down enough to let her be the one to ride inside. The ambulance set off and arrived at the hospital. As the paramedics unloaded Shampoo-kun they were surprised to discover Ranma there as well, having hitched a ride on top of the emergency vehicle. Shampoo-kun was quickly rushed in for an emergency operation.

Kasumi had remembered to call Dr. Tofu since he was Shampoo's personal physician and the only one who knew about her curse, then called home and left a message with Nabiki concerning what had happened. Having nothing else to do, the duo started worrying. Kasumi sat chewing her fingernails while Ranma began pacing in circles, quickly threatening to wear a hole in the carpet.

Ranma was in terrible shape. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. Someone he cared for was injured, seriously perhaps, and there was nothing he could do. He was a martial artist, maybe the best, and he had no control over the situation. Nothing was worse than feeling powerless. He recalled how Shampoo-kun had complained of feeling cold right before he was loaded onto the ambulance, shock setting in. And there had been so much blood, no matter what he and Kasumi had tried to do to stop it. "Shampoo has to be all right. She has to be. If she ain't I'll..." His thoughts trailed off. He didn't know what he'd do.

The rest of the Tendo's and Genma arrived at the hospital and were appraised of the situation. There was nothing left to do but wait. Genma and Soun left to get some food while the others waited. Even Nabiki seemed concerned, though she did get Kasumi to cease biting her nails before all that was left was some nubs. Akane convinced Ranma to sit down, then sat next to him herself.

"I should have been there. I could have prevented the whole thing damn it!" Ranma drove his fist into the chair's armrest.

Akane tried calming him down. "You can't be everywhere at once. Besides, it's not like you had any idea this would happen."

"There had to be something I could do." His voice was reaching a higher and higher pitch.

"No. There wasn't. So stop it." This was not good. She had never seen Ranma this upset, and the last thing they needed was the wrong person to show up and pick a fight with him. There would be no telling what might happen if he got in a brawl with his current mental state.

He started to calm down a little. "A just can't deal with this..." he searched for the right word. "helplessness."

Akane brought her arm up, hesitated, then allowed to drape over his shoulder. "We all feel that way sooner or later. You just have to deal with it."

Dr. Mima finally came into the waiting room and stared at the people. "You're here for Mr..." He trailed off as he looked over the clipboard he held. "Shampoo? Hmm? Interesting name."

Ranma answered him. The doctor looked him in the eye, a serious look coming over his face. "I'm afraid the news I have to tell you isn't good. We had to replace over ninety percent of his body with bionics."

A collective, "WHAT!" shook the heavens.

Mima held up his hands. "Easy. Easy. It was a joke." That set off a couple of battle auras the size of which few had ever seen. "No one has a sense of humor these days," he commented as a huge sweatdrop appeared behind his head.

Ranma stepped over to the doctor, breathing heavily in his face. "Nice bedside manners Doc. Now what happened, and tell it to me straight!" There was no mistaking the threat of violence in the statement.

"He's fine. The injuries weren't that serious." He tried smiling at Ranma to get him to drop the evil stare. "Just a little blood loss and some stitches. Good as new, except for a few scars. You can see him if you like."

Shampoo-kun was laying in bed, staring out the window when he heard someone outside the door. He really hoped it wasn't the doctor with the warped sense of humor. When consciousness had finally returned Dr. Mima was the first thing Shampoo-kun had seen. The man had smiled pleasantly and told him the vasectomy was a success, hopelessly confusing poor Shampoo-kun. At least he didn't leave the Amazon in that confused state for long and informed him of what his condition really was. It was a relief there was nothing serious. In fact, the only thing that bothered him was the scars. Judging by the wound in his side, there was going to be a long nasty one there. True, most Amazons had scars to show their battle prowess, but many of them came later in life, after they had already married. In the village, most men preferred women with few, if any disfigurements. Here in Japan that sentiment was even more prevalent. Shampoo-kun was uncertain how Ranma would feel about such things.

The door opened as Ranma and Kasumi rushed in to be the first at Shampoo-kun's bedside. That brought a smile to the Amazon's face. He even took note that Akane and Nabiki had shown up as well. Shampoo-kun may not have been overjoyed at their presence, but it was nice that they had come. Kasumi held Shampoo-kun's hand as Ranma sat on the bed at the Amazon's feet. Both were trying to comfort him and discover what his opinion was of the injuries he suffered.

"I can show if you like." Shampoo-kun pulled back his sheets and allowed the duo to see the bandaged side.

"Does it still hurt?" Ranma asked, sympathy in his voice.

Shampoo-kun sniffed in the air. "It mean nothing. Is just small scratch." The denial was adamant, if a bit untrue, but he was damned if he was going to show any weakness before his friends.

"Well, I'm glad to hear it," Ranma responded. "Now how about telling us what that fight was all about. Did the Amazons find out about your curse?"

Shampoo-kun was going to reply when Kasumi cut him off. "Oh no. That couldn't be it at all. She seemed shocked that Shampoo was cursed. If I'm not mistaken, that was the reason she left. Thank goodness."

Ranma spoke again. "So why did she attack you?"

Shampoo-kun gazed at all the occupants of the room. The silent treatment was not going to work, everyone wanted to know about Perfume. She tried to change the subject. "Where Mr. Tendo and Pop?"

"Got me. They wandered off looking for something to eat," Nabiki answered.

Several floors down two grown men had managed to get themselves lost within the confines of the hospital. Soun and Genma had wandered into a hall overlooking the nursery. Just as they entered, a pager belonging to a fat, ugly, man in a suit and glasses went off. The man checked his device and left to find a phone, leaving the two men standing alone. Realizing where they were, the two decided to look at the infants. Both of them pressed their faces against the glass, scaring the hell out of the little newborns that were resting in their beds.

"Aren't they cute Tendo?"

"Yes they are Saotome. Brings back the memories, doesn't it?" Both men thought about the day their children first came into their lives.

Genma broke the silence first. "Gives you a feeling of wanting something, doesn't it?"

Soun looked his friend in the eye. "I think I know what you mean."

The men smiled at each other and spoke as one. "Grandchildren."

Soun continued to smile. "We haven't been applying enough encouragement to our children Saotome."

"Couldn't agree more Tendo. We'll have to come up with something for them."

Both men started making plans to interfere with their children's lives once more.

Inside the room, a nurse handed a baby to a second nurse.

"The father's waiting out in the hall for this one." The first nurse said as she handed the child to the second one.

"What's he look like?"

The first sought to describe him. "He's fat, ugly, and wears glasses."

The second nurse took the child out into the hall and looked at the two men standing there. Her stare ended upon Genma. "Fat, ugly, wears glasses. Perfect match," she thought to herself. She approached Genma and handed him the child. "Here you go sir."

"Ummm. Thanks." Genma responded, though he wasn't sure why the nurse handed him the child.

At that moment an orderly ran from around the corner and spotted the nurse. "Come quick, we need an extra set of hands in the O.R." The nurse excused herself and ran off, leaving Genma and Soun alone.

Genma turned to his companion. "What do we do with this?" He indicated the child.

It was at this time the mother came down the hall, recognized the blanket the child was wrapped in, and screamed.

"HELP! Babynappers!"

The duo began to protest when they heard an annoying high pitched voice speak up from behind them.

"Oh no! It's a good thing we decided to check on my cousin's baby."

The duo turned around to see the speaker. It was a short blond girl who stood between a taller red head teenager with leather bracers and a blue haired girl, all three wore identical brown and white school uniforms.

The red head spoke first. "There's nothing I hate more than babynappers. What do you think B-ko?" She addressed her blue haired companion.

"For once, I am in total agreement with you A-ko." She indicated Genma hand the child back to its mother, which he quickly did. The duo went to leave when they were blocked by A-ko.

Genma began to chuckle. "Now why don't you little girls run along. This is all a misunderstanding."

A-ko cracked her knuckles. "You don't get off that easily you deviants."

"What are you going to do little girls? Stop us?" The men began to laugh.

B-ko looked irritated and ripped off her uniform to reveal her standard anti A-ko battle suit. "Something like that. Yes."

Fortunately for Soun and Genma, A-ko and B-ko held back for the sake of the children in the nursery.

Back at Shampoo-kun's room, everyone heard the cries of agony from the two fathers. Realizing they weren't coming back anytime soon, Shampoo-kun began his story.

Part 2  
Betrayals

Thirteen year old Shampoo walked along the path to her great-grandmother's house. It seemed that she was spending more and more time with Cologne and less and less time with her family. It wasn't that she didn't love the elderly Amazon, she did with all her heart, but she missed her parents. All the training Cologne had been making her do the last few years was tiring her out as well. She kept increasing both the amount and the intensity a lot lately. Part of the feeling of exhaustion was the fact she had won the girls thirteen to fifteen tournament two weeks ago. As a reward, there was a lightening in her schedule. Cologne even went so far as to take her on a little vacation to go rock climbing, something Shampoo loved to do. It had been wonderful. They had scaled some really tough cliffs, making her even prouder of the achievement. There was something about relaxing after a long climb and looking at the world far below that exhilarated her. She got a similar thrill when she won a fight, but it was different at the same time too. The downside to the vacation was when things went back to the way they were, they seemed twice as worse.

She had not been paying attention to where she was going and walked right into the ambush without even realizing it. The three girls had obviously been waiting for someone, and that someone was Shampoo. She looked the three girls over, only one registered immediate recognition. Cabinet, girl she defeated in the finals of the tournament. She had been reputed to be the best of the fifteen year olds, having won the tournament last year. It had been a major upset that Shampoo had defeated her as easily as she did. An upset to everyone save Shampoo and Cologne.

"What do you want Cabinet? Shampoo sneered at the girl.

"Justice. You got lucky at the tournament. I'm going to show just how lucky you were.

"Why not make a formal challenge?"

"I don't want to wait that long. I want to do it now."

"You have to do it with your friends here?" Shampoo indicated her companions.

"They're here to make sure you don't cheat this time."

"In other words, if things look bad they're going to join in." Shampoo kept the opinion to herself. No point in accusing Cabinet of cheating before she made the move. One Shampoo could handle. Two would make it a tough fight. But all three together did not bode well for her. Still, she wouldn't back down.

Cabinet moved to attack. Shampoo noticed the girl was even slower today than she was the day of the tournament. Shampoo had her on the ropes in even less time than before. Just as it looked like she was going to win, one of the lackeys kicked Shampoo in the back as she got close. The purple haired one ducked under Cabinet's punch and spun a kick into the girl that had struck from behind.

That was what Cabinet was looking for. "Now you've done it! Get her!"

The other girls moved to attack. Things happened as Shampoo feared. The trio had her at an immediate disadvantage and she probably wasn't going to win. Shampoo suffered through several nasty blows when one of her opponents went down. Another thirteen year old had entered the fray, causing immediate havoc. The newcomer had the advantage of surprise and finished off the girl she had attacked first. The remaining ambushers realized the futility of continuing the fight and ran.

Shampoo looked the newcomer over. The girl appeared to be the same age as her. She wore a pink and black outfit and had her pink hair tied back into a ponytail. Shampoo didn't recognize her.

"Cabinet sure is a sore loser." The newcomer said.

"Yes." Shampoo agreed.

The pink haired girl looked Shampoo over. "You aren't going to thank me?"

"I could have taken them." She could have, maybe.

Surprisingly, the girl laughed. "You really are confident, aren't you?" She stopped laughing and smiled at Shampoo. "She tried the same thing with me when I beat her a few months back, only she used one assistant. I beat the crap out of both of them. Looks like she learned from her mistake and brought in someone else."

That was news to Shampoo. Anyone that could beat Cabinet and someone else at the same time would be a force to be reckoned with. Anyone that good should be familiar to Shampoo. She looked the girl over more closely.

The girl noticed the microscope she was suddenly under. "You don't remember me, do you?"

Shampoo tried to think focusing on the pink hair. It was an unusual shade and should be familiar. Pink hair, pink hair. It finally dawned on her. "You're Perfume!"

Perfume smiled. "Correct. I didn't think you'd remember."

Actually, Shampoo only faintly remembered. If it wasn't for the hair she would never had have been able to place the name with the girl. She searched her memory for when she had met Perfume. The only thing she could come up with was a poor fighter she had faced when she was about nine. This girl bore little resemblance to that one. The girl from her memory was short, very uncoordinated, and a poor warrior.

Perfume spoke again. "Where are you going?" Shampoo told her. "Care for some company?" the pink haired warrior asked.

Shampoo shrugged and started to walk off. No one really hung around with her lately, save Mousse, and that was more of a case of unwanted attention. Perfume smiled and walked briskly, smiling at Shampoo a lot. The smile began to irritate her to no end.

"Why are you so happy?" She snapped.

"Why aren't you happy?" Perfume responded.

That gave Shampoo pause. She didn't think she was unhappy.

Perfume took the initiative in the conversation. "So do you think I've changed a lot?"

Shampoo considered that. "Yes, you have. If you beat Cabinet that means you're pretty good." Another thought occurred to her. "Why weren't you in the tournament?"

Perfume shrugged. "I felt a little sick. Congrats on winning by the way."

"You know about that?"

"Sure. Who doesn't? People are already saying you're one of the forerunners for being matriarch someday."

That caused Shampoo to blush. "I'm only thirteen. That's a long way off."

An unreadable look came into Perfume's eyes. "You're right. A lot can happen between now and then. Who knows? Maybe I'll be matriarch someday."

"You want to be the leader?"

"Who doesn't?" Perfume stopped walking and inhaled deeply.

"Why are you stopping?"

"Someone once said 'take the time to stop and smell the flowers'. I discovered it's good advise. Especially here." She held out her hand indicating a field of flowers they were next to. "The scent is divine. Sometimes I come all the way out here just to smell them. Try it."

Not knowing what to make of the strange suggestion, Shampoo took a deep breath. It was an intoxicating smell. One which caused a smile to form on her lips.

Perfume took notice. "See. You understand now."

"What do you mean?"

"You're smiling now too. A lot better than just scowling isn't it?"

Shampoo giggled a little. The girl was right, it felt good.

Perfume looked at Shampoo. "You seemed curious to know how good I am. Want to spar?"

That caught her off guard. Still, Perfume was right. Shampoo was very curious about her new companions abilities. "Sure."

Each girl dropped into a fighting stance and began the informal match. Shampoo launched several attacks at the girl which Perfume easily parried. That resulted in Shampoo attacking more aggressively, which again, Perfume easily countered. Perfume then went on the offensive. Shampoo countered easily herself. Both warriors paused, smiled at one another, then escalated their attacks. Within five minutes the informal match had become a full fledged fight. Kick countered punch. Punch countered elbow. Elbow countered leap kick. Each landed a few blows but no telling ones. After a half hour, Shampoo finally got the advantage and felled Perfume, though not by much.

"I'm going to be late." Shampoo gasped as she tried to catch her breath.

Perfume waved her on. "Get going." As Shampoo turned to go, Perfume cried out, "Hey! Want to meet here again? Same time tomorrow?"

Shampoo shook her head. "I'm busy."

"How about the day after?"

Shampoo considered it. Talking with Perfume had been fun and the fight had been intense. "Yes. Why not?"

Perfume smiled. "See you." Then left.

Shampoo was scolded slightly for being late and went on with her studies. Her grandmother was having her learn English, something she detested. Having to learn foreign languages was not something she looked forward to. Shampoo had absolutely no intention of leaving China, everything she needed was right here in Joketsuzoku. While she studied her mind drifted back to her new acquaintance. Perfume was interesting, and it wasn't as though Shampoo had many friends. There was only one or two people outside of her family she ever spent time with, and that was fleeting at best. She found herself looking forward to meeting the unusual girl once again.

Two days later they met at their rendezvous. The duo began a talk that drifted to many topics. Mutual associates, favorite foods, best fighting techniques. Shampoo felt an instant connection to the girl and opened up totally to her. Perfume seemed to do the same.

Perfume looked her friend over. "So, any boys hitting on you yet?"

Shampoo stared at her. "I don't know what you mean."

Perfume wasn't buying it. "Oh come now. Do you mean to tell me none of the guys have shown any interest in you? They have in me."

"How so?"

"Several of them have been hinting they'd like to challenge me when I reach my fifteenth birthday. I haven't decided though. None of them really impress me."

That intrigued Shampoo. "Who's shown interest?" Perfume ran off a long list of names. An impressive list. "Some of them are pretty strong."

"So what? None of them can beat me. Besides I have my eye on some one else."

"Who?"

"Lo Kal."

Shampoo sputtered over that one. "He's a terrible fighter, and already four years older than you. He'll never be able to beat you."

Perfume arched an eyebrow. "I can have an off day."

Shampoo was shocked again. "You mean to tell me you'd throw the fight?" Perfume giggled at Shampoo, angering her. "Why are you laughing?"

"You think that never happens? Oh you poor dear. That's how my mother married my father. He was a mediocre warrior and she was one of the best. Somehow she fell in love with him though. One day she found out he was going to challenge her and deliberately got drunk. The poor man had no idea. When he showed up and saw how plastered she was he tried to back out, but Mother would have none of that. She told him she'd give him a 'Kiss of Death' if he tried to duck out of the fight."

"What happened?" Shampoo asked.

"Oh, it was one magnificent duel. He threw a punch which she walked right into. After that, she threw up on him and passed out."

Shampoo paled even as Perfume doubled over in laughter. "That's disgraceful. What about her pride? She would have lost some face for a performance like that."

"She played it off as her own arrogance leading to her downfall and said she would take the lesson in humility by allowing the marriage to stand. The loss of pride was a price she was willing to pay." She sighed wistfully. "I think it's romantic."

Shampoo humphed. "It would have been more romantic if he practiced hard enough to actually beat her. That would have been a sign of true love."

Perfume suddenly became very serious. "I'm going to be the best there is Shampoo. No man or woman will ever be able to defeat me. I do intend to have a husband some day, and that may very well be the only way I can get one. If that's what it takes, I'll do it without hesitation." She began to smile once again. "Now what about you? I told you who I like, now you tell me who you like. Is it Mousse?"

Shampoo made a retching noise. "That blind fool. You've got to be joking."

"But he's around you all the time. And all he ever talks about is how he'll one day win your heart."

That bit of information did not make Shampoo's day. "I can't believe that idiot talks that way in front of everyone. I'd really hoped he just did it around me to show off."

Perfume watched Shampoo intently. "He is a pretty impressive fighter. And he does have some of the most handsome of eyes I've ever seen."

"Oh, by all means, marry him then," she told her comrade. "I'll even throw in a great marriage gift for the two of you."

"So you don't think he's any good?"

Shampoo got a little defensive about that. "I didn't say that. He has his moments when he's tolerable. And you're right about his eyes, I just wish I hadn't said that to him."

"Why?"

"After I told him that he tried to stop wearing his glasses. He's almost blind with them on, so try to imagine what it's like when he doesn't have them. He once pledged his love to Great-grandmother when he mistook her for me."

Perfume laughed. "Did she accept?"

"I don't know if you'd call putting him through a wall an acceptance." Shampoo sighed. "I'm not interested in him that way. He used to be pretty nice to hang around with, at least when he wasn't trying to pledge his love to me. Anymore now it seems that's all he ever does.

Perfume shook her head. "Get used to it girl. Mother says it has something to do with their hormones. All the guys get worse from here on out."

As much as that information saddened Shampoo, what happened next made her feel much worse. Mousse appeared.

Perfume smiled as the youth approached. "Here comes loverboy now." She made kissing noises in Shampoo's direction.

"Shampoo my love! Go out on a date with me. Mousse glomped onto Perfume, much to her disgust.

Shampoo didn't want to miss an open invitation like that. She moved directly behind Perfume and spoke. "Oh Mousse. Hold me tighter and never let me go."

"OH SHAMPOO!" Mousse squeezed Perfume with all his might.

That was all it took to snap Perfume. She broke out of Mousse's grip, picked him up by his robe, spun around in a circle while still holding him, then released him in the direction of a pond. The toss caused him to skip across the surface of the pond until he hit a tree and promptly sank like a rock.

It was Shampoo's turn to laugh at Perfume as the warrior recovered. "I see what you mean about that myopic moron," Perfume growled.

Shampoo noticed the time and turned to leave. "I have to go. You take care."

Shampoo noticed Perfume had a sad look in her eye as she turned to go. She almost mentioned it, then chose not to. There was a chance she could have been mistaken, and didn't want to look like in idiot.

Several weeks later, Cologne began a conversation with Shampoo as the two of them washed their dinner plates.

"You seem unusually happy lately Granddaughter."

"Do I?" Shampoo asked.

"Yes. You do. Could it be a boy perhaps? Mousse, or maybe someone else?"

Shampoo snorted in contempt. "I told you I have no interest in that blind idiot. It just so happens I have a new friend. Her name's Perfume."

Cologne's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "How did you meet this new friend?" Shampoo related the story to her. "I see." Cologne became very quiet the rest of the evening.

The next day Shampoo woke up to discover a note telling her there would be no lessons that day and that she should go to her parent's house until tomorrow. Shampoo did as her great grandmother bid, enjoying her day off. When she returned the next day Cologne was waiting for her, a serious look on her face.

"Shampoo. You must have nothing further to do with Perfume."

Shampoo was in shock. "Why not?"

"She cannot be trusted. She's just using you so she can learn your fighting style and defeat you."

Shampoo shook her head in disbelief. "I don't believe that. Perfume's my friend. She wouldn't do something like that."

"Yes, she would." Cologne gave a firm look towards her great-granddaughter. I remembered hearing Perfume's name before and decided to do some checking up. It turns out she has challenged some of the more powerful warriors of her age in the tribe. Usually she studies their attacks and, once she believes she can defeat them, challenges them. So far, she has quietly beaten all of the best. Now you are the only one left." Admiration crept into her voice. "Very clever of her really. She skipped out on the tournament so no one knew how good she really was, then challenged the best ones." She came out of her reverie. "Have you fought with her at all?" Shampoo told her yes as Cologne shook her head. "Well, nothing to be done about it now. It's not as though she did anything illegal. We'll just have to train you harder..."

Shampoo cut her off. "You're lying. I don't believe you! You're just saying that so I won't have any friends!"

Cologne's tone became one of command. "You watch your mouth little one, or I'll..."

Shampoo cut her off again. NO! I won't do what you ask! Perfume is my friend and I won't stop seeing her!" And with that Shampoo ran away.

Cologne watched her departing form and shook her head. "I forgot the joys of raising teenagers," she stated flatly. There was any number of ways she could have prevented her charge from departing, but she chose to let Shampoo go. Incidents with her own daughter had taught her it would be best to let her great granddaughter cool off before talking with her again.

Shampoo's wanderings eventually led her to where she and Perfume had first met. Her mind raced back to what had just happened. What her great grandmother said couldn't be true. Perfume was her friend, the best she ever had. She kept no secrets from the girl and Perfume kept nothing from her, she was certain. They had spent too many hours together to ever have one betray the other. They were best friends. That meant others must have given Cologne false information. Yes, that was it. Someone lied and her great grandmother had believed it. That was the only possible explanation. With that knowledge reassuring her, she began her journey home.

It was late in the evening when Shampoo worked up enough courage to return home. Yelling at her great grandmother was a good way to end up with some kind of harsh punishment, but there was no way around it. Lights still burned in the house as she quietly let herself in. As she tried to silently close the door behind her she heard the unmistakable sound of a weapon thrown in her direction. Surprisingly, it came from within house. Reflexes took over and she dropped to the floor as the knife embedded itself a good two feet away from where Shampoo had been. A poor throw. She sprang to her feet to see where the object had come from and realized the miss was deliberate. Cologne stood in the middle of the hall.

"That came for you while you were gone." The elderly Amazon turned and left.

Confused, Shampoo went over to where the dagger had been embedded in the doorframe, and pulled it out. Examining it, she immediately noticed a paper wrapped and tied around the hilt. Unfolding it revealed a stylized script that could only belong to a master calligrapher. Her eyes scanned down the letter and upon getting to the bottom, froze. Shampoo ceased breathing for a moment as her hands released their grip, allowing the letter to float ever so gently to the ground.

"So what was it? A challenge from Perfume?" Ranma questioned. Shampoo had gone silent for several moments, leaving everyone in suspense.

Shampoo's voice dropped several decibels. "Yes." The others waited in anticipation for more, but the warrior remained silent.

"And...?" Ranma was becoming impatient. The tale she had woven captured his interest, even if it was told in somewhat broken Japanese.

Shampoo turned her head to stare out the window. "We fought. She lost."

"That's it? She's trying to kill you after three years because she lost a fight?" Akane piped up.

Everyone in the room could barely hear the answer. "Yes." Akane's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"That's stupid!" Ranma shook his head. "Who would ever waste away their life trying to kill someone because they lost a fight?"

Nabiki only got as far as mentioning Ryouga when she was cut off by everyone else. Any further attempts at conversation were ended when the public announcement system announced visiting hours were over. Nabiki and Akane practically had to drag Ranma and Kasumi away from Shampoo-kun's bed in an effort to get them to exit. As the group left, two young nurses entered bearing a cart.

Out in the hall Ranma was having further recriminations about leaving.

"What if that psycho comes back? Maybe I'd better wait here, just in case."

Akane tried to reassure him. "You heard what happened. If she really wanted Shampoo dead she would have finished it when she had the chance." She didn't voice the fact she thought Shampoo was holding something back. The Amazon had been very detailed in everything except the end of the fight. Akane would compare notes with Nabiki later to see if her sister felt the same thing. The group made it halfway down the hall when they heard Shampoo-kun yell. Ranma moved faster than Akane's eye could follow and charged into the room. Akane followed, expecting to see the deranged Amazon trying to kill Shampoo-kun once again. The scene was something of a disappointment. Shampoo-kun was holding a blanket up to his face trying to hide from the two nurse that were attempting to use sponges in him. It took Akane a moment to recognize the girls, Sayuri and Chisa from school.

"Don't you guys ever give up? Can't you see he's injured?" Ranma asked of the duo.

Akane turned to Nabiki as she stood outside the doorway. "That was in record time."

Nabiki held up her hands in a defensive gesture. "Don't look at me. I didn't tell anyone. Heck, I want him healed up as soon as he can so he isn't vulnerable. If any girl actually gets her hands on him it's going to destroy the market." Shampoo-kun glared daggers at Nabiki for being referred to like a market commodity.

Akane shook her head at the girls. "This is a new low, impersonating nurses."

The duo became angry. "I beg your pardon. I'll have you know we are not impersonating anything." Sayuri defended.

"That's right," Chisa broke in. "We've been doing volunteer work here for almost a year now."

"Then why are you trying to wash Sham...I mean Ranma." Ranma pointed accusingly at the two.

Sayuri sniffed. "We're just doing our jobs. It's standard procedure to give a sponge bath to patients that just had an operation."

"I thought that was just for people that were in such bad shape they couldn't move." Nabiki added.

Shampoo-kun dropped his blanket a little to stare at Sayuri. "And is massage you say you going to give part of treatment too?"

Sayuri had enough decency to appear shamefaced. "Well, that's just a bonus. We simply want to make sure you have a nice stay here. Now let us wash you." She held her sponge like a weapon.

Akane directed her comment to Shampoo-kun. "If it's part of standard procedure then you better let them give you one."

"Not with warm water I'm not." Shampoo-kun snapped back.

Chisa tried flanking Shampoo-kun. "No one likes cold baths. Now quit resisting."

Ranma stepped in at this point and picked up the two girls by their uniforms. "He said he don't want one." Shampoo-kun nodded his head in agreement.

Chisa was not to be dissuaded. "It has to be done."

Shampoo-kun spoke up. "Want Ranma to do it."

"WHAT!" Akane shouted.

Shampoo-kun was adamant. "Want Ranma to do it."

Ranma let the girls down as Sayuri stared at Shampoo-kun in an odd way. "Let me get this straight. You want a man to wash you?" She asked.

"No way!" Akane would have none of it.

"Akane's right. That would hardly be proper. I used to be his fiancee, so I'll do it." Kasumi smiled at Shampoo-kun.

Nabiki simply shook her head sadly at the scene before her, once again glad she didn't have any role in the fiasco.

Doctor Mima entered and witnessed the war zone the room had become.

"What's going on." He managed to piece together what had happened from the six people that spoke to him at once. "He needs cleaned up and hospital personnel will do it. No buts." A hand tapped the doctor on the shoulder. He turned to see Dr. Tofu.

Mima recognized his old classmate. "Oh. Hey there Ono! What brings you here?"

"That's my patient. He can't have warm water. It's a delicate medical condition." Tofu responded.

Mima looked at him curiously. "And what condition would that be?"

"He turns into a woman when doused with warm water."

The jaws of everyone in the room hit the floor.

The doctor stared at Tofu for a moment, than began to quietly laugh. His quiet laughter eventually roared, deafening everyone in the room. "That's great! It's nice to see you finally developed a sense of humor. I have got to use that one. The next patient that I have. Oh yes." Mima wandered out of the room, still laughing as he departed.

Tofu ushered Chisa and Sayuri out of the room and examined Shampoo-kun himself. He told Shampoo-kun the extent of the injuries and his feelings on it.

"It would be a really good idea for you to remain as a male until the stitches can come out. If you start changing, the mass shift may loosen them or cause them to break. Not to mention what might happen to the wounds. Given how fast you seem to recover from injuries, I would guess at least a week, then let me check and see how you're doing." He turned to the other occupants in the room. "Everyone leave now. Shampoo needs rest." Tofu ushered everyone out and told Shampoo-kun he'd let the doctors on the staff know that they had to clear everything through Tofu due to a delicate medical condition Shampoo-kun had.

Once outside everyone began to relax save Kasumi, who began fidgeting with her back.

Nabiki noticed the discomfort. "What's wrong sis?

Kasumi continued trying to feel the spot. "I think I'm bleeding again." That caused everyone to panic.

Akane rushed to her sister. "What's that supposed to mean? What happened!"

"Oh, Perfume stabbed me."

Akane looked horrified. "Why didn't you tell somebody?"

"Shampoo was hurt a lot more than me, and I forgot about it."

Tofu was on her in an instant. "Let me check you out." He took a quick glance at the wound, announced it was nothing life threatening, and gently led Kasumi away for a closer examination.

Nabiki elected to look for the missing fathers, leaving Akane with Ranma.

"How about we get something to eat?" She looked at him speculatively.

"I ain't got much money." He turned out his pockets to show Akane. She just smiled.

"It's my treat."

The "free food" gene Ranma inherited from his father kicked in. The two made their way to the cafeteria and sat down to eat. Both seemed to regard their food as an object to be picked at rather than eaten. Akane broke the silence.

"First time I've seen you pick at your food instead of stuffing it down like your father."

Ranma continued to pick distractedly at it. "I'm just thinkin'. That's all."

"About what?"

Ranma quit picking at his food and looked at Akane. "I'm just worried about Shampoo. What if that maniac changes her mind and comes back anyway? I don't know how to protect her." He finally noticed Akane picking at her food. "What's got you worried?"

"Kasumi. She shouldn't have tried to stop Perfume. There wasn't anything she could do. I mean she could have died." Her voice became angrier. "That Amazon is dead if she shows her face around here again. No one hurts my sister!"

Silence reigned for several minutes before Akane spoke again. "We should help Shampoo. Hospital food is pretty nasty, so I'll make her some dinner for tomorrow."

Ranma looked in horror at Akane, hoping she was joking. She wasn't.

"Look Akane," He paused for a moment, trying to word his answer delicately. "We want Shampoo to get better, not worse. None of your food for her." His tact failed.

"I'll follow the recipe precisely. I promise." She protested.

Ranma put his foot down. "No."

"I'm going to do it!"

Ranma started to panic. "I won't let you. I'll...I'll," he tried desperately to think of some threat. "...eat all of it first."

Akane stared in near disbelief. "Is this just some way of covering up the fact he likes my cooking so much he's willing to eat it?" She thought silently to herself.

A sick feeling made it's presence known in Ranma's stomach. "I'm going to end up in the hospital like Shampoo if I follow through on that threat." He thought to himself. There was time to buy plenty of stomach medicine if it came to that. Besides, maybe he deserved it for failing to protect Shampoo from her enemy.

Earlier:

Cologne watched Perfume leap over the wall and run away at top speed. The fight had gone on much differently than she had thought, but the result was almost the same. All that was required was to slow the blood flow, bandage the girl that was now a boy, and take him to Jusenkyou. Hopefully a cure would follow. Just as she was about to spring down from her vantage point she spotted Ranma.

That changed everything. If she appeared, the boy would surely blame her for what happened and another fight would ensue. If it lasted any real length of time her great granddaughter might die, and there was also the fact Shampoo would try to help, causing her further injury. And then there was Perfume to consider. It never entered Cologne's head that she would find out about the curse. Now she had run off, destination unknown. The matriarch was torn between two decisions. Try to grab Shampoo, and possibly have her die, or chase Perfume to try to figure out where she was going. Her gaze focused on her great granddaughter's fallen form. The Tendo girl had rushed over to him and was trying to stop the wound from bleeding. If they sought medical attention immediately he would be all right. As desperate as Cologne was to get Shampoo back home, she needed to know what Perfume was up to. She decided that Shampoo would have to be left alone. Her death was only a solution of last resort, and it had not come to that yet. The odds were too great that her great granddaughter would die in an attempt to force her to go back to China at this time. So she made her choice and followed Perfume.

Cologne had time to think as she silently followed the pink haired Amazon. She had made miscalculations again, something that was happening all too often lately. The last few months had been the worst in her life. How had it all began? She thought she knew where, it was her decision to go with the other elders to the springs for renewal. Cologne had almost chosen not to go, but changed her mind at the last minute. The rest would do her good, so she set off for the week long vacation at the springs. At the time her feeling was it had been a good decision, the rest made her feel much more active and alive than she had for years. It also served to see how Shampoo would handle herself when left on her own.

Upon returning, the matriarch discovered her charge was not to be found. As she looked through the house Cologne stumbled on the letter. Mousse had once again sent a formal challenge letter to Shampoo, stating he wanted to win her hand in marriage. Shampoo could have refused, it was the right of every Amazon woman to accept or refuse marriage challenges from the males of the tribe. Once refused, the male would have to wait a year to challenge again, but evidently her great granddaughter had accepted this time. Ordinarily that would be no cause for concern, as good as Mousse was he would hold back in any fight with Shampoo. Poor him, she would not give him the same regard. But that was not what worried her. She saw where Mousse had made the battleground: Jusenkyou. Now that was cause for concern. If Shampoo fell into one of the cursed springs it would cause her nothing but trouble. Had Cologne been present she would have talked her great granddaughter out of fighting there and insisted on a different battleground.

The letter was dated six days ago, right after Cologne left. Very ingenuitive of Mousse, waiting until she was gone before challenging Shampoo. She hadn't thought he had that much foresight. He must have known she would have prevented Shampoo from fighting at Jusenkyou, so he waited until she was gone. Cologne wondered what advantage Mousse might have felt he had there. Her eyes examined the letter again. It was sent six days ago, which meant the fight would have occurred two days later. Cologne looked into the sink only to see dried up food on some plates. They had to have sat there at least two days, which meant something had gone very wrong.

She hopped along on her staff to get to Jusenkyou as quickly as she could, her mind aflame with the possibilities of what might have happened. Shampoo could have fallen into a spring and been unable to locate hot water. She may have changed into a small animal and been eaten by a larger one. That had happened to more than one victim, but it was unlikely. Mousse was there and would have prevented it. She may have accidentally killed Mousse, in which case she would likely have run off in sorrow. Shampoo may have openly said she had nothing but disdain for the boy, but deep down inside Shampoo cared for him, just not the way he wanted. One thought terrified Cologne, by some miracle Mousse may have won. If that had happened Shampoo may have convinced him to run off with her, rather than face the humiliation of having to show everyone he had won.

All the speculation amounted to nothing. She found no evidence of either youth, and her attempt to find the guide proved futile since he was on vacation. However, his daughter, Plum, was informative. She knew that a Japanese boy and his father had arrived on the same afternoon the challenge took place and left the same day. An odd coincidence. That was the only thing Cologne had to go on, so she tried to follow their path. Fortunately they weren't bothering to cover their trail and was able to follow them. Once their tracks were located, Cologne almost immediately found evidence that Shampoo was either following them or, more likely, traveling with them, though why she would do such a thing was beyond her. Her great granddaughter had never given any indication she wanted to travel the outside world, despite Cologne's attempts at convincing her to do so.

The world was a rapidly changing place, and the Joketsuzoku would have to start to easing themselves into modern society. It was the matriarch's desire that Shampoo spend some time outside of China to understand how other societies work, and how to live with the influences of the outside world without being buried by them. Perhaps Shampoo realized the wisdom of Cologne's advise and chosen to travel to Japan to see some of the world. True, she should have left some kind of message to indicate what she had done, but if the boy and his father were leaving in a hurry, she might have seen it as the only opportunity to travel with someone who would have an understanding of where they were going. If that was the case Cologne could be proud of her, taking the initiative like that was a very courageous thing to do.

The first couple of towns they passed through were easy enough to find. Sure enough, people remembered seeing a purple haired girl, along with a Japanese boy and man. She followed the trail and had almost caught up to the group when she lost them. It was a large town the trio had traveled to, making it difficult to find anyone who had seen them. What made it almost impossible was the fact that everyone was worked up over a crazed panda that attacked the town. When she questioned some citizens about it they claimed it had been subdued by two martial artists, a young boy and girl. Cologne had assumed it was Shampoo and the Japanese boy until she heard a description of the duo. A short red headed girl and a tall black haired boy, nothing at all like her prey. She spent several weeks trying to locate them but failed. She was forced to employ a time consuming spell to locate what city they were in, than began to search for the boat which they took. It was pure chance that she had stumbled on the man who had sold tickets to a group with a purple haired girl. he wouldn't have remembered except there had been a fight with a gang of toughs that tried to pick her and another girl up. In the end, most of the gang had been hospitalized and the neighborhood had been free of the thugs for a little while.

Once she discovered they were in Nerima, it had been simplicity itself to keep a lookout until she spotted Shampoo. That was when everything fell apart. She was shocked that Shampoo ran away in fear when Cologne first discovered her. The second time they met the truth came out, Shampoo had fallen into Nanniichuan. Of all the pools to fall in, that was the worst. To complicate matters the elderly Amazon had been beaten by the boy, Ranma. That loss had, in effect, tied her hands. She couldn't take direct action against him, and since Shampoo was obviously under his protection she was covered under the umbrella as well. That meant the matriarch could only act through others.

Cologne was well aware of the fact Jusenkyou cures were nearly impossible to cure. She was one of those that believed there was some deeper meaning to the curses, otherwise why would people be unable to simply immerse themselves in the pool they wanted. She had no idea what purpose a curse would have to do with Shampoo. At any rate, the law was the law and she had to go back, cure or trial. That was easily the hardest decision Cologne had to make, for she loved her great granddaughter very much, and if they couldn't obtain the cure that meant a trial, and the verdict would obviously be execution, a dead great granddaughter, and most likely dishonor for the clan unless she could convince Shampoo to lie about when she got the curse before the trial. But the way Shampoo was behaving meant she might not lie about it, a terrible risk.

Cologne had called Shampoo's sisters to Japan. She had been confident RanRan and LinLin could get through to Shampoo and convince her to return to China, and Jusekyou. A mistake, the girl resisted to the point of attacking her, the matriarch. So she was once again forced to work through others, becoming desperate over the months, knowing the council would eventually recall her to Joketsuzoku and demand why she and Shampoo had been gone for so long. She resorted to using Ryouga and Ukyou in an attempt to bring in Shampoo by force. But Cologne again miscalculated. This time it was Ukyou's desire for vengeance, and the Amazon was forced to use the Aggression Point on her. Dangerous enough that she should use it on someone reluctant to fight, but she made another mistake in using it on Ryouga, someone all too eager to fight. The resulting battle came very close to killing Shampoo. Her death would solve everything, but it was an undesirable solution. She wanted Shampoo willing to come back and at least attempt to cure herself.

Stumbling across Perfume had been a good surprise, or so Cologne thought at the time. She had no doubt the young Amazon would try to kill Shampoo. But as impressive as she had been in the past, the matriarch had been certain Shampoo would surpass her in fighting prowess. Her great granddaughter had advanced unbelievably in her months with Ranma. If she could cure Shampoo, it would be simplicity itself for her to become leader in ten years or so. Believing Perfume's attack would convince Shampoo she couldn't escape the Amazons, she assumed the girl would return willingly to Joketsuzoku. It was yet another mistake on Cologne's part. Things couldn't have gone worse. Perfume was far better than Cologne had expected, perhaps as skilled as Shampoo. It had been impossible to tell since her great granddaughter had held back in the fight. That shocked Cologne, it had been obvious from the beginning Perfume was playing for keeps. The only thing the matriarch could think of to explain Shampoo's behavior was that she still felt guilty about what happened all those years ago. An unbelievably stupid attitude, Perfume deserved what had happened to her. Cologne had explained it to Shampoo at the time and believed the girl accepted the argument. Another costly error. Then the unexpected happened. Just as Perfume was going to administer the killing blow she discovered the secret. Instead of finishing Shampoo off she turned and ran. Cologne had a sick feeling she knew where Perfume was going, and if she was right, then everything had to be solved in less than a month. No time at all.

The pink haired girl's journey ended exactly where Cologne had feared: the airport. The matriarch sneaked close enough to listen in on the conversation Perfume had with a ticket seller.

"I need the first flight to Tokomi, China," Perfume requested.

Cologne faded back as she heard the words. It was exactly what she feared. Tokomi was the closest airport to Joketsuzoku. It would still take the girl time to get there, but there could be no doubt why she was going. It was only a matter of time. More and more mistakes. Stupid ones. If she hadn't been checked out by the village doctor before her trip she would have sworn she was going senile. Cologne walked off, her mind racing to find a solution. She almost missed the whistling of an object descending towards her. Almost. She looked up at the last minute and vaulted out of the way of the body that embedded itself in the street before her. Upon examining the missile she discovered it to be a young man. He wore a blue dragonscale vest with matching bracers, baggy white Chinese style pants, and a sash that appeared to be a pantyhose. Amazingly, the youth lifted his head and began cursing, in Chinese.

"That little bastard. I'll get him if it's the last thing I do!"

Cologne moved closer to the boy, "What's your name?"

The youth barely managed to focus on the Amazon. "T...T...Tarou." And with that, the boy passed out.

"Hmmmm? Perhaps fate is finally working in my favor." She grabbed the youth by the back of the neck and began dragging him. There was now a need for a base of operations, which meant it was time for her to visit an old acquaintance. The boy would not be happy to see her, as though that meant anything.

Night fell as Ranma lay down in bed. He'd been there for over an hour, sleep eluding him. He tried everything: Warm milk, counting sheep, rolling the snoring fat man out into the yard to get rid of the noise, but all efforts failed.

"What if Perfume comes back?"

That thought plagued him all day. Akane really tried hard to shake him out of his depression and anxiety, and he was grateful. His unwanted fiancee could really be kind and caring when she tried, not that it happened often, and not that he would ever say it out loud. No point in giving people the wrong impression. His mind kept going back to that same thought time and again. Shampoo was helpless and if Perfume came back Shampoo was dead. He had failed her once and it blackened his thoughts like some kind of cancer. If it happened again he wouldn't forgive himself, ever.

There was only one thing to do. It meant he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, not that he was getting some anyway. He quietly threw on some clothes and left the dojo, leaping from building to building until he reached his destination: The hospital. He found Shampoo's window and sat back, concealed in a tree that had a clear view of the window. He briefly considered jumping up and letting himself in, being close to her would make him feel better. But there was a problem with it, the Amazon had enough pride for any three people and probably wouldn't appreciate the suggestion she was weak, even if it was accurate. So Ranma decided to rest where he was. An intruder would likely try to get in through the window. It was the quickest route to launch an attack and avoid prying eyes from within the hospital, and if there was a problem he could leap up to it in less than two seconds. He made himself comfortable and stood watch over his friend for the rest of the night.

Part III

Learning From Past Mistakes

Ranma had already left for school when the exterior of the wall exploded outward. A figure stepped forth from the wreckage as the dust began to settle. Shampoo-kun was damned if he was going to stay in that hospital another minute. When he woke up in the morning he had been accosted from the first moment his eyes opened. It would have been all right if it had just been Chisa and Sayuri harassing him, he was used to them. But it seemed every nurse in the building also wanted to "check out the handsome new patient." Every five minutes it was one after another. Some were pleasant enough, but most flirted with him, or even went so far as to give him their phone number. It quickly became obvious there was to be no rest in the hospital. Besides, though he hated to admit it, he missed Ranma greatly. He gave an inward sigh. It hadn't even been twenty four hours since last he saw the youth and his thoughts were as much about him as Perfume's return. The mystery of why she left when Shampoo was at her mercy still bothered him, and he didn't have the faintest idea of the reasoning behind her behavior.

Shampoo-kun hadn't made it more than forty feet when he heard a voice call out his name. He turned and spotted the girl that was hailing him. It took a moment to place the face with the voice. It was the first time he had seen Ai Konjou, captain of the Furinkan Cheerleader Squad, without her standard cheerleader outfit. Instead, the girl was wearing a tight leather number consisting of matching boots, an all too short mini-skirt, and a halter top that was laced together in the front. At the moment, an almost obscene amount of cleavage was showing, the laces strained by the ample bust of the captain. Ai caught Shampoo-kun putting a hand to his chin as he obviously looked her over head to toe. As he finished his examination he gave a smile to the girl.

"Yes! He's checking me out. He wants me." Ai thought to herself. In reality, Shampoo-kun's observations were along somewhat different lines.

"Damn! I'd look good in that."

Ai move forward, swaying suggestively to her prey. "You have no idea how worried I was. I heard you were injured and wanted to make sure everything was all right." She walked around Shampoo-kun, giving him the same examination she just received. "You look VERY healthy to me." Once she was directly behind him, she put her arms around his waist and continued, whispering in his ear. "Tell you what, I have some first aid training. Why not let me give you a personal examination? We'll make sure everything works correctly." She pressed her chest tightly into Shampoo-kun's back, making sure he could feel her breasts. "And I do mean everything."

Shampoo-kun picked up on the innuendo immediately. Relationships between women in Joketsuzoku were hardly unheard of. They weren't even frowned upon, just so long as the warriors' relationships did not consist exclusively of women. They had a responsibility to produce heirs for the tribe, and should at least have a male concubine, if not a husband. Shampoo-kun's tastes did not run that way. A husband was all she was interested in.

He pulled out of Ai's grasp, producing a sound of disappointment from the girl. She pouted towards Shampoo-kun and spoke.

"There's no need to get defensive. I promise to be gentle."

The girl's persistence was causing the same irritation in Shampoo-kun that Mousse did whenever he was around. "I not interested in you that way."

A look of anger passed quickly across Ai's face. It disappeared just as fast as it came as she smiled and stalked towards her prey once more.

"I heard you were hurt pretty badly. Something to do with your.." she gave a light jab into Shampoo-kun's injury. "...side, as I recall."

The pain from the light blow produced the desired effect. Shampoo-kun winced while clutching his side.

"I have an idea," Ai said. "Why don't we just pretend we fought and you lost. I wouldn't want to damage you before our fun." She saw the scowl the boy leveled at her. "Oh relax. Despite what you may have heard, I don't do everything with my squad. And if you're afraid of your reputation, we can just keep this to ourselves. Still, if you want to do it the hard way..." she allowed the threat to trail off.

Shampoo-kun felt the first twinges of panic form in his gut. The situation was bad. He was in no shape to fend off Ai, and losing meant he would become the girl's plaything. The rumors in the school made it sound as though she had some rather exotic tastes, and Shampoo-kun had no desire to find out which rumors were true and which ones weren't. He was about to consider fleeing when those thoughts were interrupted.

"Leave him alone Ai."

The duo turned towards the voice and saw Ukyou standing before them, minus her spatulas.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the boy who would be a girl. Or is that the girl who would be a boy?" Ai jibed at the newcomer.

"It wouldn't be fair Ai," Ukyou continued, ignoring Ai's barb. "he's injured."

"And that is why I want to do this without a fight. Damaged goods usually lead to disappointing performances." Ai looked hard at Ukyou. "And just what brings you here anyway? Did you come to see Ranma?"

Ukyou suddenly found herself at a loss for words.

Ai smiled. "So that's it. Your last boyfriend ran off and you're looking for a new one. Good taste dearie. Ranma really is the best."

"That's not why..." Ukyou began to bluster, but was cut off.

Ai held up her hands in a warding gesture. "Relax. No need for hostilities. I am more than willing to share." A gleam suddenly shined in Ai's eyes. "In fact, I'd be glad to. I mean, you are into that sort of thing right?"

Ukyou began to turn red. "What are you talking about?!"

Ai maintained her pleasant demeanor. "Well, I just assumed from the butch way you dress that you went both ways. You did attend an all boy's school for goodness sakes." She gave a seductive glance towards Shampoo-kun. "I'm sure Ranma wouldn't mind. There isn't a man alive that would pass up an opportunity for a good time with the two of us. It would be a fantasy come to life. Isn't that right Ranma?"

For the briefest of moments Shampoo-kun envisioned what Ai suggested, and immediately became nauseous. Ukyou had the same vision and reacted even more violently.

"That's it! Ai, get away from him!"

The cheerleader just stood there and smirked. "Since you seem to be so concerned about Ranma, why don't you fight for him. If I win, I get him. If you win, you do what ever you want. Deal?"

Ukyou looked towards Shampoo-kun. Both knew it was the only chance Shampoo-kun stood of not becoming Ai's love slave. The Amazon reluctantly nodded his head.

Ukyou went for her spatula and froze. She had left it behind as insurance Shampoo-kun wouldn't think she was dropping by for a fight. Now that gesture may have cost both of them. The okonomiyaki chef went into a defensive stance barehanded. Ukyou was a good fighter when it came into unarmed combat. In fact, she probably could have beaten about ninety percent of the martial artists on the earth. Unfortunately, most of Nerima fell into the upper ten percent, and Ai in the upper one percent of that. The cheerleader matched her stance.

"Are you sure you want to do this? If we fight, you're probably going to spill out all over the place." Ukyou pointed to Ai's tight top.

Ai smiled in return. "Don't be jealous just because you're flat chested."

"I am not flat chested! I happen to wear a chest wrap." Ukyou simmered as both girls warily circled one another.

"It really is too bad." Ai sighed.

"What is?"

"The three of us. It could have been an event that would make the gods sit up and take notice, cutie." She winked at Ukyou, then threw a punch.

The come on startled Ukyou and she fell victim to the blow. Ai began pressing an attack, showing her superiority in unarmed combat to Ukyou by landing several blows. Ai backed off momentarily.

"You've had it girl. Give up! My offer still stands."

"Believe me. I would rather get it on with Shampoo than you," Ukyou replied.

Ai paused thoughtfully. "Well, if you think you could convince either one of them, you should go for it. They're both good looking."

"WOULD YOU GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER YOU TRAMP!" Ukyou was about to continue the retort when Ai suddenly got leveled from behind by a mailbox yelling "Charge!"

Tsubasa-mailbox stuck his head out of his disguise. "I got you, you nasty girl. No one hurts my Ukyou." Tsubasa turned his head to the chef. "I saved the day Ukyou. Hug me!"

The only thing that saved Tsubasa from being hit by the chef was Ai's fist burying itself in his face first. She then threw the offending cross-dresser at Ukyou.

"First they screw up my mail, now they send their equipment after me. The postal service around here can kiss my..." Ai continued her rant for close to a minute, allowing Ukyou and Tsubasa time to recover.

Tsubasa said, "It doesn't look good, does it Ukyou?" The chef shook her head in response. "Well, in that case give me a kiss before we fall."

Tsubasa puckered up, giving Ukyou a perfect target to hit. Just as she drew back her fist, an idea occurred to her. "Tsubasa! Change into a giant spatula."

Tsubasa could have kicked himself. It should have been obvious that was the way to turn Ukyou on. He decided to test the theory. "Will you kiss me if I do?"

"I'll hit you if you don't." That convinced Tsubasa to make the change. Once in disguise, Ukyou wielded him in her normal fashion.

"Un oh!" Ai thought. The cheerleader put up a good fight, but in the end, it was too much for her to handle. Ukyou picked up the cheerleader's crumpled form and tossed it into the lobby of the hospital.

"Well that was..." Ukyou realized her new spatula was fondling her. "Cut it out Tsubasa! You actually came in useful for once in your life, you pervert." He continued rubbing against her. "And I don't...want...to...hit...YOU!"

She felt Tsubasa-spatula lifted off her back. Ukyou turned around to see Shampoo-kun holding Tsubasa by the back of the disguise, offering the chef to hit the target. Ukyou could hardly pass up the opportunity. Tsubasa got pummeled into oblivion and punched several miles away, leaving only Ukyou and Shampoo-kun looking at one another. Neither knew what to say, so both just stood there until Shampoo-kun spotted an envelope on the ground. He picked it up and opened it.

"No! Stop!" Ukyou tried to stop him, too late. He opened and read the letter.

"This a get well card."

Ukyou tried to cover it up. "Yeah. It's for a friend of mine in the hospital. And I don't mean you either."

Shampoo-kun read the letter again. "And you always sign card, 'Stupid Spatula Girl?'"

Ukyou gave up the attempted deception. "All right. I admit it's for you. I wanted to try to make amends for trying to beat you up all those times." She paused, and looked at Shampoo-kun again. "That's all I came to do. I didn't know I'd be fighting for you. So good-bye." She turned and began walking away.

"Thank you Ukyou," she barely heard the soft voice behind her comment. That made her stop and turn.

"You called me by real name."

Shampoo-kun blushed. "No I didn't. You confused."

Ukyou would have none of that. "Yes you did. I heard you."

"You take too many blows to head Stupid Spatula Girl." Shampoo-kun sniffed.

Ukyou realized Shampoo-kun wasn't going to admit to it, so she started taunting him. As she continued a wicked gleam entered Shampoo-kun's eyes. He glided over to Ukyou and embraced her, cradling her in his arms.

"You save Shampoo. That deserve a great big reward." He moved his face closer towards Ukyou, much to the chef's distress, than began to pucker up.

Ukyou barely managed to wriggle out of his grasp, then made a motion to threaten him. It was then she saw him giggling, barely keeping outright laughter contained.

"So, she thinks she can mock me and get away it?" Ukyou wryly thought.

"Ha! Ha! You should have seen look on you face Spatula Girl. I..." He trailed off as he realized Ukyou had moved closer to him. "What you...HMPPH? Ukyou placed both hands around his head and gave a deep, passionate kiss. The poor boy was too stunned to do much more than breath. After several moments, Ukyou broke off the embrace.

"Now that's how you kiss, you pervert. Bye." Satisfied that she had gotten the last laugh, Ukyou turned and walked away. Shampoo-kun stood there in shock.

Whether it was seconds or hours that passed before the surprise wore off, Shampoo-kun couldn't tell. As his senses returned, one depressing thought cut through all the others. That was only the second "real" kiss he had ever received, and this time it was by a girl. But perhaps the most ironic thing was, Ukyou kissed a hell of a lot better than Mikado did.


	12. Tarou, Tarou, Tarou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another player enters the game and the fallout from the Perfume incident continues

Prologue

It was a typical day for Akane as she followed Ranma to school. A typical day that, as usual, included attacks by Kunou, Mousse, and Ryouga. Curiously, the opponents lined up for Ranma, who took but one punch at each in order to defeat them. Upon arrival at the school grounds, a horde of women stormed up to the duo. That was unusual, Shampoo-kun was not with them so the girls should have had no reason to attack today. As the group rushed forward they collectively glomped onto Ranma. The boy made no motion to resist the girls, allowing them to run their hands up and down his form.

"RANMA! What do you think you are doing?"

Ranma shrugged. "Enjoying myself?"

Shampoo mysteriously appeared, wrapped in a gossamer-like fabric which flowed around her form in ever shifting white waves. As she seemed to glide by, she grasped Ranma's hand, pulling the boy away from the horde of women. The group offered no resistance despite the fact the object of their desire was being whisked away.

Shampoo stopped, released Ranma's hand, and stood with her back towards him. She looked over her shoulder and gave a seductive glance towards Ranma.

"Ranma wash Shampoo? Yes?"

The boy's expression showed what the answer would be. He moved forward as Shampoo's garment gently flowed off her body, allowing Ranma access to her skin.

Akane stomped forward. "Damn it Ranma! You are my fiancee!"

"So what?" he answered nonchalantly.

"So what? I'll show you so what!" She moved forward and embraced Ranma, spun him off his feet, then bent over and kissed him. She could feel Ranma return the kiss as the two remained liplocked for some time. Eventually, Akane broke off the osculation and looked down at the form she was still embracing.

"Not too bad," Ranma-chan grinned back at her.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Akane sat bolt upright from her bed. Heart racing.

"What was that all about?"

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2

Chapter 12  
Tarou, Tarou, Tarou

By D.B. Sommer  
Standard Disclaimer:  
All these characters are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights too.

An alternate universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic) In the beginning, the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already began a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and ended up briefly engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up, Ranma got engaged to Akane. On the first day of school water and confusion mixed, leaving everyone to believe that Ranma-chan was Shampoo and Shampoo-kun was Ranma. Eventually Cologne learned what happened to Shampoo and wants to take her back to China to cure her, or failing that, make her stand trial for becoming a man. Ryouga had fallen into the Spring of Drowned Bat, and left Nerima in indecision when Ukyou gave an ultimatum concerning her relationship between him and Ranma. Last chapter Perfume, a mysterious figure from Shampoo's past appeared seeking revenge for some wrong done to her by Shampoo. Shampoo lost the fight and was about to be killed when Perfume discovered the curse and mysteriously ran away. After being hospitalized, Shampoo related what happened in the past with Perfume, leaving out some bits of information. Cologne discovered Tarou and decided the boy has the potential to help her in obtaining Shampoo...

Denotes Chinese  
[] denotes German  
Part 1  
A Load of Bull

Akane stared at her clock, gazing at the darkness the LCD was showing. Her first impulse was to pick it up and shake the timepiece, which she acted on. Nothing happened so she resorted to finding her watch and discovering the time. She realized with great reluctance it was still early, but once awake she wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep. Akane finished dressing and walked slowly down the stairs, lost in thought.

"What was that dream about?" She didn't want to be engaged to Ranma, so why was she dreaming of kissing him. And why as a girl? That caused a shiver to run down her spine. Was she becoming some kind of pervert? Maybe she was spending too much time around her fiancee and his traits were rubbing off on her. She remembered being disgusted that she kissed Ranma as a girl, so perhaps she wasn't becoming a pervert. And she did remember enjoying the kiss at first when it was with Ranma, when he was a boy, and that was normal. Or was it? She never kissed Ranma and nor had any desire to, so why the dream.

Could her subconscious be trying to tell her something. She told herself it was just a dream, so there was no reason to get worked up over it. The whole situation was all so confusing. Even assuming she was to someday become interested in Ranma, which she was certain she was not at present, well almost certain, they still couldn't marry while he was cursed. That was out of the question. Or was it? Now that she stopped to think about it, she was living with him, and as uncomfortable as the curse had made her at first, there was no longer any actual revulsion now. Somehow, it had become acceptable that he changed sexes whenever water went flying. Should that have scared her, accepting something that bizarre as commonplace? Maybe seeing Ranma would clear things up in her mind. She entered the kitchen where Kasumi was setting out breakfast. Akane noted there were only cold products out and not the hot meal her sister usually prepared.

"What's going on?" Akane inquired.

"The power went out. I was just going to wake you in a little while."

"Where's Ranma?"

Kasumi smiled. "He went downstairs to the basement to fix the fuses or something."

That was a shock. " We have a basement?"

"You know," Kasumi said. "Nabiki and father said the same thing when I told them. I thought everyone knew it was there. I've been using it to store some odds and ends I've picked up over the years."

Akane went to the living room and saw a trapdoor in the floor wide open. Sticking her head down she could smell the mustiness that emanated from the cellar. She carefully walked downstairs, minding the fact that what little light was in the basement was from the open trapdoor. As her eyes became used to the gloom, she could see Ranma with his back to her, holding a penlight in his mouth as he fussed over a fuse box with some wires showing. Shampoo-kun was close by, using a flashlight as he looked through things on some shelves.

A loud zap came from Ranma's direction. "Romeo, Romeo. Where for art thou Romeo?" He mumbled through the penlight in his mouth.

Shampoo-kun located an odd book on one of the shelves. He opened it, browsing through some of the pages. "Ranma. You ever read 'Necronimicon?'"

Ranma took the penlight out of his mouth. "No. Can't say I have." He continued to concentrate on the wiring.

"Oh." Shampoo-kun placed the book back in its place, then pulled a long black sword off of a shelf. He blew the dust off of the weapon, uncovering some runes engraved on the blade itself. Translating it revealed the word, "Stormbringer." Shrugging, he placed it back on the shelve it had been on.

Akane moved down the stairs. Ranma was still working intently on the wiring and was oblivious to the newcomer's presence. However her arrival did catch the attention of Shampoo-kun.

"Akane. No touch Ranma." The Crimson Gem of Cyttorack caught Shampoo-kun's eye and he went over to examine it.

Akane was furious. "Who does she think she is telling me what to do with Ranma?" she thought to herself. "I'll show her."

Akane quietly walked up to Ranma's form and went to tap him on the shoulder. Just as she was about to make contact she was tackled by Shampoo-kun. Even as the blow hit, reflexes took over. Akane twisted around, causing Shampoo-kun to take the brunt of the fall as she landed on him. A cry of agony emanated from the fallen Amazon as he landed on his injured side.

Ranma spun in surprise, the sight of Akane sitting on a writhing Shampoo-kun filling his vision.

"Shampoo!"

He rushed over and shoved Akane roughly off the boy's back, then started fawning over the fallen Amazon, who was trying to wave Ranma off.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!" Akane was less than pleased with having been ordered, tackled, then shoved to the floor in less than thirty seconds. Surprisingly, Ranma turned angrily on her, shoving his finger in her face.

"You jerk! Why'd you hit Shampoo?" Akane was taken aback. He really appeared angry, and, if she didn't know him better, she would have sworn he was going to hit her. For the briefest of moments she considered backing down, then remembered what had happened.

"I didn't hit her. She tackled me! And get that finger out of my face!" She was the wronged party here, not him.

Shampoo-kun slowly got to his feet, pain still etched on his face. "She try to touch you Ranma. I tell her not to."

Ranma scowled at Akane. "You baka! Did you try to touch me after Shampoo specifically told you not to?"

"Yes. So? You got a disease or something?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Or is it you just want Shampoo to touch you?"

"She was trying to save you!"

"What are you talking about?!" Akane's temper was approaching the breaking point.

Ranma's anger seemed to increase in direct proportion to Akane's. "I was working with live wires and had current shooting through me. If you came into contact with me you probably would have been electrocuted. I asked Shampoo to keep a lookout so no one would try to touch me while I was working."

That caused Akane to pause. "What do you mean? Why weren't you being electrocuted?"

"The Director's acting lessons, remember? Electricity doesn't bother me anymore. That's why I volunteered to work on the wiring." A look of disgust crossed his face. "Ah, it ain't worth explaining to a violent gorilla like you." He turned to Shampoo-kun, his voice softening. "Let's get you upstairs."

"It not hurt so much if Akane not so heavy." Shampoo-kun said as he headed up the stairs.

Akane remained in the basement, trying to figure out how things had gone so horribly wrong.

Mousse was having a pleasant dream. He was in a giant palace with Greek style architecture, everything made of marble. Fountains with the statues of nymphs bearing water jars created soothing sounds as he lay back on soft pillow, resting and admiring his companion, Shampoo. The Amazon sat next to him, scantily clad in a dress that showed off her stunning attributes in the most provocative manner possible. She gently fed him grapes, one by one, from a golden platter.

"I'm sorry I treated you so poorly for all those years my love. You were always the one for me. I realize that now. I love you more than the world itself. Ask me anything, anything you want. I shall do it for you." She gazed into his eyes with the loving expression he had desired for so many years.

Mousse chewed slowly on the grape, considering the statement and trying to come up with something appropriate. At last something came to mind.

"Bring me Ranma Saotome. I want to see him on his knees."

A wicked smile formed on the purple haired Amazon's lips. "I anticipated your needs my love. I will always do my best for you." She grabbed a chain and yanked on it. "Here you are." The chain was connected to a collar strapped around a beaten Ranma's neck. The pull caused him to come out from the stone pillar he had been hidden behind. The boy moved too slowly for Shampoo and was jerked off his feet by a second tug. He got on his hands and knees, the look of abject fear in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. It was foolish of me to fight against you." Ranma prostrated himself before Mousse. "I never should have tried to steal your Shampoo from you. You are the master. I am nothing compared to you." Mousse laughed as Shampoo gave the boy the same cold stare she had leveled at him for so many years. She even kicked Ranma a few times for good measure.

"Shampoo, come here." His love responded by lying seductively next to him. Mousse slowly played his hands over her slender form. As he started allowing his hands to wander to some more delicate parts, he felt something hit him between the eyes. It happened again, then again. Finally, he opened his eyes back to the real world.

"What's going on?" Without glasses he was totally blind. As he moved his hands around, he felt someone hand him the glasses. Once they were on, he focused his vision on who gave him the helping hand.

"AHHHHHHH!" A dried up troll was staring at him.

"Knock it off you idiot." Cologne swatted him between the eyes with her staff once again, causing Mousse to realize who it was that had destroyed his fantasy.

"What are you doing here, you hag! I was having a wonderful dream of Shampoo."

Cologne arched an eyebrow at that. "You sleep with one woman but have dreams of another. What an unfaithful bastard you are!"

Mousse had no idea what she was talking about until his hand fell on the female form next to him. He looked down to see Kodachi snuggled up next to him, asleep. He gave an inward sigh. It was not the first time this had happened. At least she was clothed on this occasion.

He turned his attention back to Cologne. "What do you want you dried up piece of jerky?" That got him thrown into a wall.

"The younger generation. No respect for their elders." This comment was directed to the youth behind her. Tarou.

Tarou snorted. He couldn't care less what anyone thought of the aged Amazon. He was here to listen to the deal Cologne was going to propose. At least once she was done dealing with the fool. Tarou was forced to admit the Amazon was good. He recalled when he first came around and discovered the hag...

Tarou rubbed his eyes as he woke up. The last thing he remembered was finally tracking down that demented little creature, Happosai. The youth tried every trick he could think of to defeat the master, but to no avail. In the end he was defeated and sent flying. Ringing still emanated from within his skull, no doubt from the beating he received from Happosai as well as the landing he endured from the final blow. When he was at last able to focus his vision, it fell upon Cologne. He wasn't all that repulsed by her, he had encountered Happosai, and despised that twisted little form more than anything else in the world.

"Rest young one. You suffered a terrible beating at the hands of a master." Cologne told him.

Tarou picked up on the inference immediately. She must have had an intimate knowledge of the martial arts to be able to tell the blows had been delivered by a master martial artist. The woman had him at a disadvantage. Something he didn't like.

"What's your name and what do you want?"

"My name is Cologne and I wish to strike a deal with you. What is your name?"

She would ask that. "You can call me Tarou. And why would I be interested in a deal with you?"

She gave Tarou a stare, one which seemed to look into his soul. "We can help each other out. You are a martial artist, a good one I think, yet you met defeat at another's hands. I can help you in that regard."

Well, an opportunity to two on one Happosai. That sounded good, but he needed to gauge her abilities. "I sincerely doubt you can help me. Out of the way!" He intentionally placed his hand on her shoulder, waiting to see what reaction he would get. He was prepared to remove the hand the instant she tried anything. The surprise of being whipped into the ground was total. It took him nearly ten seconds to recover from the blow.

"You have my attention. I'm listening," he said as he got back up. This could be the edge he was looking for.

"We should talk somewhere more comfortable," she said. Tarou at last fully took in the place he had recovered, an abandoned building of some kind. Cologne began talking again. "There's a nice spot we can make ourselves right at home. Just follow me." And with that, Cologne hopped off, leaving Tarou to follow her. If she was as good as she appeared, he might at last have a chance of having Happosai change his name. If everything was on the up and up, he might even let what Cologne did to him slide.

His thoughts returned to the present as the fool's sleeping companion awakened. The girl wore a see through negligee that showed off her lithe form. "The fool's done well for himself," Tarou silently thought.

Kodachi awakened at the sound of Mousse's impact. She quickly spotted her love's form embedded in the wall, then turned to her nearest opponent, Cologne.

"You will pay for what you have done creature!" She whipped out a bouquet of her trick roses and thrust them at Cologne's face. The Amazon simply hit them with her staff, knocking the flowers into Kodachi's face instead. The paralyzing agent caused the girl to go limp and drop into the bed.

"As though I didn't smell that one coming a mile away." She shrugged and went to make herself comfortable in her new home, the Black Rose's Floral Shoppe.

Akane lay back on her bed, thinking about the events of the morning. No matter how hard she tried, it wouldn't work. There was only one person to blame. Her. It was true that Shampoo could have been more specific about why she shouldn't touch Ranma, but that was no excuse. That decided, there was only one thing left to do. Apologize. Akane told herself she was better than Ranma, who would sooner rip out his tongue than let an apology cross his lips. Akane sighed. The first one to go to was Shampoo, not that apologizing to her was going to be easy. It seemed the Amazon had become irritable and more bossy lately. That was particularly bothersome since she wasn't anything other than a guest here. Make that a guest of a guest, and to Akane, that guest might have been wearing out her welcome.

With great reluctance, she stopped in front of Shampoo's door and knocked. A voice responded from within.

"Who is it?"

"It's me." Akane responded.

"What you want?"

"I just want to apologize for this morning. Open the door." She couldn't hear any sounds of movement from within.

"Shampoo accept apology. Now go away."

Akane's face twitched. "The nerve of that...that bimbo! I try to apologize and she can't even look me in the eye. She just dismisses me. To hell with her!" Akane thought, then stomped off to find Ranma. He was going to accept her apology even if it killed him.

She found him practicing in the middle of the dojo floor, moving silently through his katas. Rather than interrupting him, she elected to sit down and watch, her anger drifting away. As she observed him flow through the katas, she recognized some that she had mastered, while others were completely new to her. That lack of knowledge served as a reminder of just how much Ranma knew and she didn't. It was a frustrating reminder. The more she saw of Ranma the more she wanted to learn. If nothing else, there was one thing she could be grateful for in his arrival at the dojo. His presence, and Shampoo's to a lesser degree, made her want to become better. She used to be one of the best, but watching them made her realize how far she still had to go in the art. Maybe if it was just Ranma it wouldn't have been so bad, but Shampoo's presence made her realize how much better Akane could become. Since they first arrived she had been training hard. It was the common ground the three shared early on.

"Time to find out how much better I've become," she thought. "Ranma." Akane called out, interrupting the kata he was currently in. "Spar with me."

He leveled his gaze at Akane, appearing slightly perturbed. "I ain't got time for that."

She couldn't tell if he was still angry at her for this morning or if he was just irritated at the suggestion. Maybe it was a bit of both. "You have plenty of time. Shampoo's injured and won't be able to spar with you like she usually does. We can both use the practice." That should show him.

He just rolled his eyes and waved her on. Fortunately she was already in her gi, having decided to get a little practice done after the apologies. Just as she was about to bow before her opponent, Ranma moved away.

"Almost forgot." He smiled sheepishly, then grabbed a nearby bucket and dumped the contents over his head, changing him to Ranma-chan. She walked back over to Akane and bowed.

"Why did you change to a girl?" Maybe she wasn't as comfortable watching the transformation as she thought.

"Because dummy, I can't fight you as a guy." Ranma-chan looked at her as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Akane started to boil. "What do you mean you can't fight me as a guy? You fight Shampoo all the time no matter what sex the two of you are."

"I ain't going over this again," he sighed in exasperation. "If you want to spar with me it's when I'm a girl. Got it?"

Akane wanted to retaliate but held her tongue. The best way to get back at Ranma was to beat him. She dropped into a fighting stance after the two of them bowed before one another.

Her first four punches didn't come close as Ranma-chan deftly avoided them. She tried kicks, elbows, uppercuts, and everything but wooden hammers as Ranma-chan simply avoided all the blows, hands behind her back. As the fight progressed, a sense of deja vu overcame Akane.

"Fight back!" She tried several more blows, none coming close. Frustration began to get the best of her as she stopped sparring and went all out to hit Ranma-chan, holding nothing back.

"Geez Akane. Calm down. We're only practicing." Ranma-chan stepped up the speed with which she was dodging, but still didn't try to hit back., frustrating Akane further.

"Why won't you fight?" This was humiliating. It was happening again. She had to get him to hit back. "You worthless perverted little girl!"

That set off Ranma-chan. "You asked for it." She moved out of the way of Akane's fist and kicked her legs out from under her, causing the girl to hit the floor. It took a moment for Ranma-chan to realize Akane wasn't trying to get up, she just lay there, crying.

"Aw geez Akane. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you so hard." Now Ranma-chan felt terrible. She had done the one thing she never wanted to do, hit a girl. And worse, it was Akane.

Akane sniffled as she lay there. "It's n...not that. You beat me j...just as easily as you d...did the first time we sparred. I'm not any better. N...not even after all that time."

"So that's what it is." Ranma-chan thought with relief. "It's her pride. Got more of it than I thought." She tried to figure out what to say to ease her partner. "That ain't true. You're a lot better than you were when I first came here."

"You're just saying that. You beat me just like the first time." She stared at Ranma-chan, trying to figure out what she was really up to.

"You baka." Ranma-chan said softly, no anger in the voice at all. "I've gotten a lot better too. That's why it's still easy for me. Why, I bet you're almost as good now as I was back then."

That perked Akane up. "You think so?"

"Yep," Ranma-chan answered, nodding her head. "I bet you're almost as good as Pop now. And just look at the way you took out that Dojo Destroyer."

"But he was already injured." Akane protested.

"And you still took him out easy. You could've beaten him even if he was in top shape. So don't go punishing yourself just 'cause you aren't as good as me." Her smile grew wider. "No one is."

Akane brightened a bit more. "His ego gets bigger every day." she thought. Still, what Ranma-chan said made sense.

They continued to spar (Akane attacked, Ranma-chan dodged) for another twenty minutes until Akane decided to take a break. As Akane sat down, she noticed Ranma-chan remained standing.

Ranma-chan looked at her. "That's enough for today." She started to walk off.

Akane became worried. Was she leaving because Akane acted like a child? "Why don't we train some more? I promise I won't cry if I lose."

Ranma-chan grimaced. "It ain't that. It's just I don't feel comfortable fighting you. I still got a lot to learn and I can't take a whole lot of time to help train you any more."

That stopped Akane. "But you said I was a lot better now."

"What I meant to say is, you're good but I'm still lots better. Sparring with you is only going to hold me back. Pop's about your speed. Have him train you from now on. Once you start beating him regularly, you come back to me."

"But you spar with Shampoo,"

He thought about the answer for a moment. "We were almost at the same level of skill when we first met, and she's been steadily improving with me." He quickly added, "She still can't beat me though. And, well, she's a lot better than you. She's good enough that I have to try hard to beat her, and every time I do she gets better by making sure I don't take her the same way next time. And that forces me to come up with something new."

She continued, "I've been getting a little worried. Except for Mousse's occasional attacks, I haven't really been tested by anyone. And even he's been quiet lately. Never thought I'd say this, but I miss Ryouga. Having him jump me all the time kept me on my toes, even if he was little more than a giant bludgeon. He sure could take punishment." She sounded wistful, "And now with Shampoo injured, well, I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. I want to fight someone who can take me to the limit. You're good, but you aren't around my level."

Just as Ranma-chan turned to depart, Akane spoke up. "All right. Why don't we do something else? How about we go for a walk?" She was a little surprised to discover that she didn't want Ranma-chan to go.

Ranma-chan smiled. "Great idea. I've been feeling like I've been cooped up. I'll ask Shampoo if she wants to come along." She hurried out, causing Akane to simmer in anger again.

"It always comes back to Shampoo." Akane had wanted to spend some time with Ranma. Alone. There were some things she needed to ask him. Instead he was going to drag Shampoo along, the jerk.

Ranma-chan ran upstairs to the bathroom, stripped and went to clean herself. She turned on the hot water and was greeted by cold. Even after several minutes the water still refused to become warm. Sticking her shorts back on, she draped a towel over her top, then exited and shouted downstairs.

"Hey Kasumi! There's no hot water."

"The hot water heater must be broken. I'll call a repairman," Kasumi called back.

"Heat up some water for me. Willya?" Ranma-chan replied. She had no intention of remaining a girl for long and didn't feel like making the trek to the public baths. Just as she was about to return to the bath, she remembered something.

"I forgot to ask Shampoo if she wants to come along." She went downstairs to the converted bedroom Shampoo used and knocked on the door. Shampoo-kun opened it immediately. As soon as he saw the girl, a look of surprise crossed his face and he slammed the door.

That caused a frown. "What the heck was that about?" She knocked on the door again.

"Just a minute!"

Ranma-chan heard the sound of movement before the door opened again. Shampoo-kun opened the door far enough to slip out, then shut it right behind him. Obviously not wanting anyone to see what was inside.

Ranma-chan's interest perked up. "So. You got a guy in there or something?" It was intended as a joke, but wasn't received that way. She was surprised when the Amazon shook his fist.

"I not that kind of girl Ranma! You do well remember that." His voice softened. "Shampoo stay faithful no matter what."

That confused her completely. "Ah, right. Anyway, I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a walk with me and Akane."

Shampoo-kun stood there with a look of indecision. After a moment he responded. "No thanks. I stay." He looked curiously down at Ranma-chan's form.

The stare didn't go unnoticed. "What?" She examined her body, trying to see what Shampoo-kun found so fascinating.

His head jerked up at the question as he started to blush. "You should wear top when girl Ranma." He opened the door wide enough to slip back in, then closed it.

Ranma-chan wore a puzzled expression. "What difference does it make to her if I got my top on or not?" Her thoughts turned to another question. "Wonder what she's got hiding in there?" Maybe an investigation would be called for later. Ranma hated mysteries.

Shampoo-kun leaned against the door, exhaling slowly. Controlled breathing was a good way to calm down. He was uncertain what was going on within him. In all the times he had seen Ranma in his female body there had never been the sort of reaction like the one Shampoo-kun was feeling now.

"Maybe it because I boy type now," he thought. It had been five straight days of being male, and it was beginning to wear very thin. Especially when going to the bathroom. The sooner his side healed and he could change back to his proper sex, the better.

As Shampoo-kun calmed down he returned to his materials. It had bothered him that he couldn't go with Ranma and Akane, but Ranma's gift needed to be finished. The process of creating it took much longer than expected. If it wasn't for all the extra time he had from the injury the present might never have been completed, and it had to be perfect. There would be only one chance to get it right. He sat down and began to work once again.

Akane felt uneasy walking through the park with Ranma, despite the fact she was the one who wanted to take him out. There were some questions she needed to ask and it wouldn't do to have anyone eavesdrop on a conversation. No one in the house passed up opportunities like that. Nabiki had the place wired and the two fathers frequently had their eyes next to keyholes and a glass to the door to hear what Ranma and Akane said to one another.

"Ranma. Do you ever think about the engagement?" An innocent enough question.

"Not if I can help it. Why?"

"Just wondering." Akane folded her hands behind her back as she walked. "Are there any girls you like?" She silently wondered if the probe was soft enough.

"No. Not really." He wondered what she was thinking, asking questions like that. "Why you asking? You interested in someone?" He found he was uneasy about how she would answer, which was silly. He couldn't care less who she saw.

"No. Of course not." Odd that he would ask that. They walked on in silence until Akane felt it appropriate to ask another question. "Ranma. Are you happy being a girl?"

"Of course not stupid! I hate it!"

"Then why don't you try to find a cure? In all the time I've known you, you've never tried to find a way to get rid of the curse."

"It's not that easy. It ain't like there's a pill to prevent changing sexes y'know," Ranma growled. "And for your information, I asked Minami. She doesn't know anything in particular that can prevent it. There were a lot of quack remedies, like 'Instant Nanniichuan' and water proof soap, but not cures." he paused. "Well there was a couple things, but I can't use them."

Akane sounded hopeful. "What are they? Why can't you use them?"

Ranma suddenly felt very depressed. He had gone over many mystical mail order catalogues with the Ghost Sweeper, none of them having anything he could use. When they started going over other tomes of magical objects they still couldn't find anything that was accessible, or if it was available it still had some serious drawback.

"The first was called a 'Dybblex Crystal.' It could separate people into their anima and animus. The problem is it always drives at least one of the halves mad. Sometimes both. And even if it didn't, I don't think I want a female me walking around all the time. The other was called a 'Soul Shatterer.' Minami contacted a guy who had one. He said it was used on someone that had the same curse I have. It was supposed to destroy the affliction by slicing the soul in half. It worked, but the guy said what was left after the separation wasn't the same as what was there before." That one scared the hell out of Ranma. Curse or no curse, he was still the same person now he was before.

Akane didn't want to give up. "How about going back to Jusenkyou?"

Ranma shook his head. "If I had money I might try it, but I don't. And I ain't swimming over like I did last time!"

The two continued walking in silence, moods considerably darkened. Ranma eventually saw something that brightened his day.

"Hey! Ice Cream! Let's get some."

Akane started going for some money in her purse when Ranma stopped her. "It's on me. I got some money Nabiki hasn't managed to extort from me yet." He proudly held out several bills to show her, then paid for the ice cream. The duo sat on a park bench, watching the children play. Two particularly noisy ones were nearby, shooting each other with squirt guns.

Akane sat there thinking, mostly about her and Ranma. As exasperating as the boy could be, he did have his moments. And there was something appealing about his macho attitude when it was kept in check. A daydream began about what it would have been like if they hadn't been forced together. How would he have treated her then? How would she have treated him? Would things have been any different? Or would she have dealt with him like she did almost every other man she had ever met? A hammer and a shout.

He was staring off across the lake, giving her a perfect view of his profile. Handsome features he bore. In truth, there was very little of his father in that face, for which Akane was grateful. She silently wondered if he looked like his mother, or if his appearance had no reflection in them at all. Without realizing it, she had drifted closer to him, her face practically next to his as her eyes studied his features. No facial hair whatsoever. A strong chin. There was a tiny scar towards the back of his jaw, only noticeable now that she was up close. His cheekbones were perfect though, and he had unblemished skin. Hardly fair considering how much effort Akane had to put in keeping her own skin soft and smooth. Ranma didn't seem the type to take care of himself that way. His lips were very nice as well. At close range it almost seemed he had a small pout, something she never noticed before. She drew closer still, eyes half lidded, lost in memory of the beginning of the dream. Would his lips feel the same in reality? She concentrated on that one feature of his.

She heard Ranma shout something about the children, then turned his head. The dream reached out to Akane and she move forward as well. Electricity shot through her for a moment as their lips made contact. This was far better than the dream and she found herself wanting to continue until something Ranma had said moments before registered. It wasn't what he said, but the way it had sounded. She concentrated on the Ranma's appearance instead of the kiss and saw...

Ranma-chan looking back at her in wonder, unmoving. Akane drifted away from his, now her, lips and screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Akane ran off as fast as she could.

Ranma-chan sat there motionless. Aside from when she looked down to see breasts on her body for the first time, no surprise had been greater. After a full minute, cognitive thoughts began to register.

"Geez! I didn't think I was that bad."

Ranma made his way back to the house. A detour to the public baths had changed him back to a guy as he thought on the way back to the dojo. It was such a bizarre experience in the park. Why on earth did she kiss him? He allowed his fingers to brush across his own lips. He had been in too much shock to do anything but stare at her at the time. But all things considered, it wasn't an unpleasant experience, well up until the point she ran off screaming. He was about to open the door when it came bursting outward on its own.

"RANMA! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTER?" The demon form of Soun greeted warmly.

Ranma reflexively backed up towards the wall surrounding the grounds. "I didn't do nothin'!"

"Now, now Father. I'm sure it was all a misunderstanding." That voice of Kasumi, who had followed behind Soun, had the desired effect of reverting her father back to normal.

"It had better be boy." Soun spared Ranma one evil glare, then stalked back inside.

Ranma turned to Kasumi. "Thanks. I owe you one."

Kasumi just smiled pleasantly. "I don't know what you mean. You might want to see Akane though. She seemed pretty upset."

Ranma made his way inside towards Akane's room. He paused at the door and tried listening for any noise from within, but there was only silence. He gently rapped on the door.

"Akane. You in there?" He tried to sound as nice as possible, even if he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Go away! It was all a horrible mistake." The voice sounded muffled, as though she were talking through something. Ranma left as he was asked, an involuntary feeling of guilt rose as he went back downstairs. It was all her fault. She was the one that had kissed him, so why should he feel guilty? He tried to rid himself of the feeling...

...and had a miserable night.

Tarou sat across the table and looked at Cologne. The woman had made them some exotic drink as they sat and discussed their deal.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to grab some girl for you and subdue her. In return you'll help me nail Happosai." Tarou thought he understood correctly, but wanted to make sure he didn't get a fast one pulled on him with ambiguous wording.

"Yes that's correct."

"Why do you want the girl?"

"That is none of your concern." Cologne responded. "Why don't you tell me why you want Happosai?"

"That's none of your concern." The old woman was shrewd. That meant if she was smart she'd know better than to try and stab him in the back.

"So when do you set out?"

"Tomorrow. At school I think. My head's still ringing from that lucky punch that little pervert hit me with." He paused and shook his head. "You said her name was Shampoo, right?"

Cologne nodded. "She's an accomplished martial artist but wounded, so she shouldn't be hard to handle. The dangerous one is Ranma. He'll defend her at any cost."

Tarou chuckled evilly. "No problem. No problem whatsoever."

At the Tendo Dojo the next morning, everyone got up for school. Ranma-chan met up with Nabiki and Shampoo-kun as the trio went to grab breakfast. All three froze when they saw who had already beaten them down there. The icy hand of fear gripped all three of them in it's collective grasp.

"Hi everyone! I decided I'll be making lunches for everyone from now on." Akane smiled at the trio.

Nabiki leaned over and whispered in Ranma-chan's ear. "The thing that disgusts me almost as much as the cooking is that she smiles when she says it." She turned to Akane. "Oh Sis. You shouldn't have. Really!"

"I so happy could scream. And scream and scream..." That comment came from Shampoo-kun.

Ranma-chan went over, picked up one of the boxes, and shook it. "Hmmm? Sounds like pain, misery, and suffering."

"Good Call." Nabiki applauded.

"You guys could at least try it before condemning it." Akane frowned. She had vowed to be as pleasant as possible in spite of the events of yesterday. She had scolded herself all night for allowing a dream to affect her like that. And to go so far as to kiss Ranma, the dream must have influenced her far more than she had thought. And she would NEVER have done it when he was a girl. So she was going to try hard to keep her temper in check. Of course if she said something like that out loud, Ranma would take it as a sign the Apocalypse was upon them or something.

"Condemning it is exactly what should be done." Ranma-chan was unhappy. This had to be some revenge plot of Akane's for what happened yesterday. And she had gone and felt guilty about what occurred too.

Kasumi played peacemaker once again and managed to get everyone out the door. The four students made their way to school when they ran into Ukyou.

"Hey Ucchan! How's it goin'?" Ranma-chan had heard about Ukyou saving Shampoo-kun from Ai the other day, and had started calling her Ucchan again for the first time since the Breaking Point fight. The now five students wandered off to school. Just as they turned the corner, the little old lady with the water bucket managed to nail Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun.

"How many times that make this month?" Ranma-chan asked Shampoo-kun as they continued walking.

"Twenty five," he answered while wringing some of the water out of his hair. "It good thing we go to school as girl-type and boy-type."

"LOOK OUT! CAT DEMON!" a voice suddenly shouted.

Ranma-chan did what came naturally. She crouched behind Akane in fear.

"Where?! Where's the cat?!"

"Meow!" A large cat face appeared out of nowhere next to Ranma-chan, causing her to panic once again and hide behind Ukyou.

Minami dropped the rest of her invisibility, removed the cat mask, and meowed towards Ranma-chan again. "HA! HA! I'll never get tired of that one. The big bad martial artist is afraid of puddy tats."

Akane came to Ranma-chan's defense. "If you got thrown into a pit of hungry cats when you were four you'd be terrified of them too."

"And if Ranma turn into cat you going to have bad day Minami." The Ghost Sweeper was one of the few people Shampoo didn't give a nickname to. Probably a good idea given the Ghost Sweeper's hair trigger temper.

"Your Japanese has improved a lot, Shampoo." Minami commented.

Shampoo scowled, "Teachers make me stop talking in," she paused, searching for the right words. "third person. They say it not right way to speak. Shampoo hate learning foreign languages. Hate it when Great Grandmother make me learn. Hate it when teachers do it too."

"Hey. Learnin' proper grammar ain't the sorta thing you can take for granted." Ranma-chan said.

"Like you'd know proper grammar if it came up and bit you in the ass," Minami growled. She was about to add something else when she sensed something. "I smell evil." She darted all around, but discovered nothing.

The group arrived at school without further incident. As they entered the school grounds the action picked up once again as a horde of girls chased a bundle full of underwear attached to Happosai's back.

"What is that?" Minami asked disgustedly as she pointed at the master.

"That's our resident pervert. Haven't you seen him yet?" Ukyou was surprised. She thought every girl had been molested by the old master.

"It's evil. I'm going to banish it." Minami's finger glowed blue as she formed a mystical symbol in the air directly in front of Happosai. Once complete, the symbol sent a burst of mystical energy at the pervert, losing him in the glow.

"Did you get him?" Ranma-chan sounded hopeful.

Minami gave her V for victory sign. "No problem. There's nothing that can stop me."

A figure jumped through the light and landed between Minami's breasts.

"Ohhhh! She's soft and magical. Ranma, this girl is almost as good as you." Happosai informed her.

"You have no idea how depressed that makes me feel." Ranma-chan replied sarcastically. "I should have known. He's evil, just not supernaturally so."

Minami lost it at that point, and began running around, screaming in circles trying to pry the pervert off.

"Let's go." Ranma-chan turned to leave.

"What about Minami?" Akane inquired.

"After what she pulled this morning, she deserves a little Happi-ness in her life." Ranma-chan entered the school followed by the others.

By the time Minami arrived, class was about to begin. Her appearance was frazzled as she thumped down in her seat.

"I will kill that creature if it's the last thing I ever do!"

"Hey. I'll help you." Ranma-chan added.

Godai-sensei stood in front of the classroom. "We have a new student today class." Godai looked hesitantly at the new, bizarre individual. "Introduce yourself."

The boy looked at the rest of the class. "I'm Hikaru Gosunkugi."

Minami stood up on her desk and pointed dramatically, just as she was taught by her Ghost Sweeper instructor. "A zombie! That must be what I felt this morning." She pulled out a ward and leaped forward, sticking it between his eyes. Rather than being banished, Gosunkugi removed it and studied it intently.

"Another powerful demon. I'll just have to do this the old fashioned way." She pulled out her sword hilt and activated the ebony beam of energy. She drew the blade back, preparing to chop Gosunkugi in half. Fortunately, she was tackled before the blade could descend by Ranma-chan Akane, Ukyou and Shampoo-kun.

"Wait! It may be a real student." Ranma-chan examined Gosenkugi more closely. "As difficult as that is to believe."

Gosunkugi stepped forward and looked at the Ghost Sweeper. "You know magic." He then got down on his knees. "Oh please! Take me on as your apprentice."

Minami looked disgustedly at him. "I'd rather go out on a date with Ranma."

That got Ranma-chan riled up. "You make it sound like that's a bad thing!"

She stared flatly at her. "It is. I hate macho jerks."

"Oh please! I beg of you. All of my spells fail no matter how hard I try." Gosunkugi continued.

Minami examined him more closely. "That would be because you are a moron."

Godai-sensei cleared his throat. "Now that we have determined that our new student is not a member of the undead," He examined Gosunkugi more closely. "probably. We will now get ready for class."

Everyone returned to their seats. As the minutes ticked by Minami became more and more agitated, finally breaking.

"It's here. I can feel the evil. It's right..." she spun in a circle with her finger extended. "...there!" She stopped, her finger pointing at the lunch sitting on Ranma-chan's desk. With a quick series of movements she created her symbol of banishment and triggered it. As the light disappeared, the lunch was no longer there.

Minami blew on her finger like it was a gun. "No problemo."

Ranma-chan was equally grateful. "Thanks Minami. I owe you one." She felt like jumping for joy. No food poisoning today.

Shampoo-kun jumped forward. "Kill mine too."

Minami stared at it. "Sorry. It's not evil like the other one."

The conversation was broken off by a "RANMA NO BAKA!" as Akane buried Ranma-chan under a desk. Akane ran out of the room, fleeing fast enough so that no one noticed her eyes start to water.

Akane ran out of the room full speed, not bothering to look where she was going. She nearly collided with a figure in the hall. So depressed was she that she never bothered to look up.

Tarou stared at the girl's departing form. "Hope that wasn't her. Only one way to find out." He entered the classroom.

Ranma-chan had recovered enough to follow Akane when she saw Tarou enter the room. He did a quick examination of the population and spoke. "Where's Shampoo?"

Everyone in the room pointed to Ranma-chan.

Tarou smiled. This was going to be easy. He chuckled evilly and pointed a single finger at Ranma-chan. "You're coming with me."

He moved forward to take her. Even as Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun began to rise, Ukyou got there first.

"She isn't going anywhere with you." Ukyou made a motion with her hand to prevent Tarou from advancing.

Tarou mistook her for a boy. "Must be Ranma." He simply looked annoyed and backhanded Ukyou into a desk.

"UCCHAN!" Ranma-chan launched herself at Tarou, much to the boy's surprise. She tackled him under the ribcage and forced both their forms out one of the windows. Tarou managed to twist in mid-air and push Ranma-chan off. Tarou landed first, followed by Ranma-chan. The two opponents faced off against one another.

"I thought she was supposed to be injured," he thought. Looking at the girl in the fighting stance, he would have to say either she was good at hiding injuries or recovered quickly. "I suppose you aren't going to come quietly. Are you?" Tarou asked.

"You hurt my friend, jerk! You just entered a whole world of hurt."

Shampoo-kun sprang out the window and landed beside Ranma-chan. He was about to stand next to Ranma-chan when she motioned him back with her hand.

"Don't be stupid. You gotta let your side heal. Besides, this jerk's all mine."

Shampoo-kun reluctantly gave ground while the two opponents squared off. Each took but a moment to size the other one up, then attacked. Both fighters started off with a flurry of punches and blocks, neither landing a solid blow. The two backed off and evaluated the fight.

"Not too bad. Looks like the old mummy taught her well." Tarou thought.

"He's better than I thought. I should be a little more cautious with this one." Ranma-chan thought.

"You're pretty good, for a girl." Tarou sneered.

Ranma-chan flinched a little at that one. "Flattery from a guy who wears pantyhose around his waist? No thanks." Tarou's turn to flinch.

Both opponents moved to attack again, softly probing at one another, each attack increased in intensity as they escalated their violence. Neither could land a solid blow.

"Enough of this cautious stuff," Ranma-chan thought, "Let's see how he deals with my speed."

Ranma-chan attacked full force. Early on she connected several times. Once Tarou adjusted to the speed increase he began to retaliate, connecting several times with his own blows.

Shampoo-kun followed the fight as it led outside the school grounds and into a nearby park. He identified Tarou's style as a variation of Mien Ch'uan. The number of blows connecting were about two to one in Ranma-chan's favor. However, Tarou was much stronger, and did about twice as much damage as Ranma-chan, making it an even fight.

Tarou backed off for a moment. "This girl's real good. Only Happosai and me are better," he thought.

"Looks like I got my wish about being taken to the limit. This guy may be the toughest opponent I've fought since Happosai." Ranma-chan finally connected solidly when she leaped over a punch by Tarou and kicked him in the head with both feet.

Tarou reeled back from the blow, disoriented. "That shouldn't have hurt that much. Must still be affected by that punch Happosai nailed me with."

Ranma-chan to press the advantage. Blows connected with Tarou in the stomach, chest, then jaw, sending his form into a fountain.

"Take that you worthless piece of garbage!" Ranma-chan watched the water waiting for Tarou to surface. Instead of the boy, a huge minotaur with wings and an eel for a tail jumped out of the fountain. The creature's sudden appearance shocked Ranma-chan motionless, allowing the creature to ram her with his head. The girl's body flew into a tree, knocking her unconscious.

Tarou-bull roared in triumph to the skies. As he brought his head back down he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned just in time to get kicked in the eye by Shampoo-kun. Tarou-bull screeched in agony and clutched at the spot Shampoo-kun hit, flailing about wildly, smashing trees and the fountain. The Amazon wasted no time in picking up Ranma-chan's unconscious form and running with it.

Shampoo-kun knew he stood no chance in one on one combat with the creature. Obviously the boy had fallen into one of the Jusenkyou pools, probably the Spring of Drowned Yeti Riding Bull While Carrying Crane and Eel judging by what had popped out of the fountain. The best chance was to run for it and find a hiding place. The escape didn't get very far when pain started shooting up Shampoo-kun's side.

"Damn! The stitches," he said through gritted teeth.

He covered much distance when he heard the sound of rushing wind at his back. The boy ducked just in time to avoid a swooping Tarou-bull.

"Wings not just for show. Great." The only place he could see that would cut the air advantage Tarou-bull demonstrated was using the trees in the park. Shampoo-kun leaped up and started jumping from branch to branch. The feeling of something wet trickled down his side. Forcing out the pain, Shampoo-kun continued to leap from branch to branch.

"Not going to make it much farther." The pain was already slowing Shampoo-kun down. He thanked the Kami Ranma was in female form. If Ranma had been a male Shampoo-kun would never have been able to leap high enough with that much weight. Just as he leaped for another branch the one he had just sprang from collapsed. Tarou-bull had crashed through the foliage from above and had nearly stomped Shampoo-kun into oblivion. Apparently Tarou-bull didn't consider the trees the obstacle the Amazon thought they would.

"Have to find hot water." Shampoo-kun thought, then heard Ranma-chan stir.

"Put me down. I feel fine," Ranma-chan said weakly.

"How many fingers I have up?" Shampoo-kun didn't move his arms from Ranma-chan's form.

"Thirty eight," she mumbled.

"Good. I put you down." Shampoo-kun continued jumping for all he was worth, leaving Ranma-chan right where she was, as the noise of demolished trees grew closer. He knew where they had to go, if only he wasn't disoriented and had enough time to get there before they ended up stomped into paste. The trees from the park finally ended, giving way to downtown Nerima. As they emerged from the forest they came upon the building he was searching for, the local bathhouse.

He managed one final leap towards the top of the building, intending to go through the skylight. Tarou-bull flew free of the trees as well and spotted Shampoo-kun's descending form. The transformed youth wasn't about to let his prey get away as he attempted a powerdive, which Shampoo-kun narrowly avoided by making a mid-air change of direction. The maneuver caused a gasp in pain in the boy as he watched his opponent continue on the dive. Tarou-bull smashed through the skylight and crashed into an empty pool of hot water. Tarou wasn't the only one who made a crash landing as the Amazon was also out of control from the redirection and splashed into the pool as well, losing his grip on Ranma-chan. Shampoo's form broke the surface of the water, followed closely by Tarou, now back in human form.

Tarou looked around in confusion, still holding his eye. "Where the hell did they go? You!" he pointed to Shampoo, "Answer me! There was a tall dark haired guy and an annoying chick in red and blue, where'd they go?" Tarou felt a tap on his shoulder. He spun around quickly, only to be confronted by a black haired youth. "What do you want?"

Ranma smiled. "I just wanna let you know I still care." He then unloaded the Chestnut Fist into Tarou's face.

"Payback's a bitch! Ain't it?" Ranma said through gritted teeth as he belted Tarou through the skylight and very far away. Satisfied the boy wouldn't be coming back in the near future, Ranma turned to Shampoo. "That takes care of..." he trailed off, seeing Shampoo clutch her side painfully, tiny splotches of red on her hand.

"Aw man. That busted open your stitches." Ranma said.

"Shampoo all right." It was an unconvincing performance, as her face was grimaced with pain.

Ranma moved closer to her and turned his back, bending his knees a little. "Hop on," he said.

"I not need..." her protest was cut off.

"Hop on or I'll drag you." His voice became softer. "You carried me long enough. Now let me help you."

Shampoo relented and got on Ranma's back, grasping him tightly around his chest.

"Ease up! Will'ya?"

"Sorry." Shampoo relaxed her grip, allowing him to move her more comfortably. Once secure, he moved quickly to Dr. Tofu's. During the trip, she simply laid her head gently on Ranma's back, a far off look in her eyes, hoping the journey would take forever.

Tarou's journey into infinity and beyond ended when he crashed head first into the ground. He managed to make his feet on the first attempt, then fell back down as the world suddenly started spinning.

"Oh great! Too many blows to the head lately. Now I can't stand up." That was when he heard the whistling. The momentary confusion passed as Tarou realized he landed dead center on some train tracks, with a large train bearing down on him. If he was transformed he might survive the impact with only a few major injuries, but in human form he would be pulverized beyond recognition.

"I'm not dying this way." Summoning all of his strength he tried once again to gain his feet. He made it halfway up when he saw the train almost on top of him. The world spun violently again as an impact lifted him off his feet and crashed him into the ground.

He laid there, looking up at the sky. "That didn't hurt anywhere near as much as I thought. Maybe I'm tougher than I figured." The merry-go-round the world had recently become finally stopped spinning, allowing him to gain his feet once again. The train was still going past at full speed, causing Tarou to wonder how he could have survived it when his eyes fell on girl gasping next to him. She was in a Furinkan school uniform and had a terrified look in her eyes.

"I...I didn't think I was going to make it in time." She remained laying there, gasping.

It took Tarou only a moment to piece together what had happened. The impact didn't hurt him because it wasn't from the train. The girl must have pushed him out of the way. Disappointment briefly passed through his mind as he realized he really wasn't capable of withstanding a train impact after all. He returned his attention to the girl.

"I remember her. She nearly ran into me in the hall. Wonder what she's going to ask for?" Nobody did something for nothing.

She finally caught her breath and stood up. Looking over Tarou, she asked him, "You all right?" He nodded. "Good. That was close." The look of fear in her eyes finally subsided.  
"I've got to get back to school. I ran pretty far off." She smiled. "Maybe I'm starting to pick up some of Ryouga's habits. Oh well. Good bye." She turned to go.

"Wait a minute!" The girl turned at the sound of Tarou's voice. "You don't want anything?" The girl looked confused and shook her head.

"She saved my life and doesn't want anything in return?" He thought to himself. He looked her over more closely. She had short black hair and looked a little tomboyish. Not in an unattractive way though. "Thanks. What's your name?" Oops. Wrong question.

"Akane Tendo. What's yours?"

He resisted the urge to flee. The girl had just risked her life to save him and his impulse was to run away in fear because of his name. "You can call me Tarou," he said. His thoughts were, "Please don't let her ask 'Tarou what?'"

"Nice meeting you Tarou. I have to get going." She waved to him and departed. Akane was almost out of earshot when he remembered to do something.

"Akane! Thanks!" She shouted out he was welcome and departed. Tarou couldn't remember the last time he said thanks to anyone. Now alone he had time to think about what happened. The boy in the bathhouse had the same shirt that the red head had and the purple haired girl had on a boy's school outfit. No way it could be a coincidence, they had to have something to do with Jusenkyou. That little bit of important information had somehow been left out when Cologne told him what to expect. That meant it was time to go back and visit the old ghoul and get some answers out of her, and his methods were not going to be pleasant. Then he would see about revenge on the fem-boy and his masculine partner. Those two got put to the top of the "need to have their asses kicked" list.

Part 2  
Decisions

Ryouga-bat needed hot water, fast. If only he hadn't tripped in the puddle he wouldn't be in the predicament he was in. The night was thick, but his echolocation kept him from running into anything. That, combined with his unnatural direction sense, led him straight to the nearest source of hot water, someone's cooking pot. The Lost One went through an open window, crashed into the water, and jumped out, naked. Needless to say the woman that was cooking was more than a little frightened. Screams of terror filled the house as she ran out the front door. Since he couldn't ask anyone, Ryouga decided to liberate some clothes from a wardrobe and come back to return them later. Donning a white shirt and pair of pants he found in one of the closets that barely fit him, he emerged from the house onto a cobblestone road that lined the rustic village.

"I think I'm in Europe." He had wandered there several times before and was familiar with the style of architecture. He hoped he was somewhere in Germany. They had some of the best food outside of Japan he had ever tasted. Now the only question was if he could speak the language. He looked around for someone to question when he saw people rushing towards one area of the town. Bright flames could be seen not too far off from where Ryouga stood.

He rushed over to see a conflagration at one of the taller buildings. People stood outside in night clothes looking on in horror at the fire. No firefighters had arrived yet and the building was becoming engulfed in flames as it went up. As Ryouga stared at the building he saw movement from one of the windows, near a bright plume of fire. Ryouga acted on instinct and rushed forward, running around the building until he got to an area that had little in the way of smoke and fire.

"BAKUSAI-TENKETSU!" He controlled the blast so only a small section of wall blew up. He ran into the smoke filled building, trying to find the figure he saw at one of the windows. It was going to be a case of chance, if it came to his direction sense, the person would be dead before he found the room. He ran through the building and flames until luck and the Gods found favor with him. He saw a little girl crying in one of the rooms. Picking her up, he ran for one of the windows when the girl began to struggle violently.

"Probably just afraid." He held her struggling form tighter and leaped out of the window, just making it over a wall of flames. He started coughing violently as the he set the girl down. As soon as her feet touched the ground she ran for the building. Ryouga was so surprised he almost didn't react in time to stop her. The girl began screaming in German.

[Let me go! My baby brother is still in there.]

Ryouga understood German and looked back at the building. The inferno was twice as large as when he first arrived and flames were starting to come out of the window he had just leaped out of. Only a madman would risk going back in the building.

Ryouga jumped back in without hesitation.

The village's single fire truck finally arrived at the scene and attempted to control the blaze. The firemen looked up and determined that by the time the equipment was ready the building would be razed. The decision was to allow the building to go and prevent the fire from spreading. Just as the building began to collapse one of the walls exploded and Ryouga ran out with a bundle wrapped in cloth. The singed boy handed the bundle to a fireman and collapsed in a coughing fit.

"I was barely burned. Why am I in such bad shape?" he thought through his coughing attack. His vision was beginning to go black as he continued to hack.

One of the firemen gave him an oxygen mask and began to help him, when a female bystander shouted out,

[Get away from him Boris! It's a vampire!]

Boris looked more closely at the boy. [Impossible. He just saved a child.]

[And how else do you expect one to feed? They can't eat the dead you know. It has to be the vampire that attacked last month!]

[Woman! If he was a vampire he'd have fangs.] He pulled Ryouga's lips back for everyone to observe. [See what I...] He trailed off as everyone spotted Ryouga's long canines. Boris backed off.

[What should we do?]

[Get him while he's weak you oaf!] The horribly weakened Ryouga was no match for the dozen villagers that tackled him. Someone came forth with heavy chains and bound his feet and legs.

[I am ]*cough* [not a] *cough* [vampire.] He barely managed to choke out.

[I saw you change from a bat into a man!] The woman shouted.

[Curse.] was all Ryouga could choke out as he almost blacked out.

[Yes. The curse of the undead. Don't worry. We'll release you from the shackles of undeath.] This was spoken by another villager. [Get me a stake.]

An older man stepped forth and spoke in a commanding tone. [A stake isn't good enough. Twenty years ago I killed a vampire named Grimaldi Frost by driving a stake through his heart and burying him. Five years later someone dug him up and removed the stake. He sought revenge and killed my wife of forty years.] He paused for a moment in grief. [The point is someone can remove a stake and you're back at square one.]

[How'd you get rid of him?] one of the villagers asked

[I burned him then spread his ashes far and wide. Haven't seen him since. So that's what we ought to do.]

A rousing cheer roared from the crowd and kindling was thrown in the center of the street. Ryouga tried to break free but lacked the strength to even pull away from the men. He was roughly hurled into the center of the pile of wood as villagers grabbed lighter fluid and kerosene and began pouring it in the center. Ryouga's pleas fell on deaf ears.

"What a stupid way to die. Killed as a vampire in Transylvainia." He thought to himself. But maybe it was appropriate, dying unknown and unwanted in the middle of a far off land. No one would be there to mourn his passing. The smell of the fumes assailed his nostrils. He began to wonder if Ukyou was going to be able to run the restaurant without him. One of the villagers threw a match onto the wood.

A huge figure shrouded in a deep cloak with the hood drawn up witnessed the spectacle before him.

[They would be using fire.] He mumbled to himself. He hated fire more than anything else in the world. Well anything other than himself, and sometimes he did hate the fire more than that. He paused then came to his decision.

Ryouga prayed for rain for the first time in his life. If only some would fall. Just enough to trigger the change. He promised himself he would keep the curse no matter what and never complain about it again. He had faced death on more than one occasion before, but this time there was no way out. If he was going to die it should be on his feet, fighting to the last breath. But he wasn't able to breath. Wasn't able to fight. He was going to die, not at the hands of some demon, or robot, or unstoppable martial artist., but burned alive by a bunch of scared villagers. One thought began to overshadow all the others.

"Why couldn't I have made a choice between Ukyou and Ranma?"

He saw a tongue of flame reach out for him. The heat from it could be felt from the flame. Just as it was about to come he felt himself lifted up by a pair of powerful hands.

The villagers looked on in horror as a huge man shrouded in a cloak leaped into the center of the fire and grabbed Ryouga. He then picked up some of the flaming debris.

[You like playing with fire? This small pile is nothing. Here. Let me show you what a real fire is.] He threw the debris at a building, causing flames to catch. Picking up some more debris, he hurled it at a second building, starting a fire there as well. [Looks like you have you hands full. I'll take care of this one.] And with that the huge man leaped away, leaving the villagers with their hands full trying to put out three fires simultaneously.

Ryouga felt himself carried a distance away as the huge man ran with him, Ryouga coughing all the way. The night air started to clear his lungs and the hacking became less vicious. Eventually they came to rest next to a cave. Ryouga was set gently down and felt the chains broken by the large man.

[Thank you very...] He was cut off as the man clutched his throat with a grip of iron.

[Don't thank me yet. If you prove to be a vampire I'll make you wish you had burned!] The stranger released his grip, allowing the threat to sink in. [Tell me who you are.]

Ryouga clutched at his throat, The man's grip may have been stronger than Ryouga's. He cleared his throat and began speaking in a hoarse voice.

[My name is Ryouga Hibiki. I'm no vampire.]

[But you have fangs and change into a bat, Yes?]

Ryouga nodded. [I was born with the fangs. And the bat thing is a magic curse I picked up later in life. I turn into a bat when I'm doused with cold water. Warm water reverses the effect.] He stopped speaking, allowing his throat to relax.

[That's either one of the worst stories I've ever heard or you're telling the truth. Never heard of a vampire suffering from smoke inhalation like you are though.] The big man began rummaging through his pockets, bringing out a beautiful gold cross with rubies in it. He held it up before Ryouga's eyes. [What do you think of this?]

Ryouga looked at it. [It's beautiful. May I touch it?] He held out his hand.

The stranger quickly put it back in the pocket. [No! Sorry. It was a gift from one of the few friends I've ever had.] His eyes became distant. [She was a very...unique woman.] He returned to the present. [I'm still not totally convinced you aren't a vampire, so we wait until the sun rises.] The stranger sat back and relaxed next to the entrance of the cave, allowing Ryouga no way to escape.

Ryouga tried looking the man over. He was close to eight feet tall and had to weigh over five hundred pounds, incredibly strong as well judging by the grip he had. But the garments he wore hid all his features. After several hours, the stranger spoke once again.

[Your appearance and accent marks you from a far off place. Where are you from?]

[Japan, originally. I don't really remember exactly where, but it was near the ocean, I think.]

[Why are you here? Transylvainia is a long way from home.]

[I tend to get lost, At least I used to. But now I'm wandering because...] he stopped. [You don't want to hear my story.]

The stranger perked up. [We need something to pass the time. Tell me, please.] There was something within the boy the man found familiar. The look of desolate loneliness perhaps.

Ryouga began his story, holding nothing back. After an hour he finished, [...and Ukyou wants me to choose between her and beating up Ranma. And I don't know which one to pick.]

The stranger had listened in detail. [What would make you truly happy?]

[I enjoy spending time with Ukyou. She's the best friend I ever had, easily. She always treats me nice, helps me out, never makes fun of my curse and is just a great person to hang around. But then there's Ranma. Beating him up is the one thing I've wanted to do my whole life. It's been ruined because of him. If I could beat him, I could die happy. But that would mean no more Ukyou, and I don't want that either. I don't know what to do.] Ryouga dropped his head.

The man remained silent for some time, then spoke up. [Let me tell you a story about revenge. When I was...born, my father hated me. He felt I was some kind of monster that should never have come about, never mind the fact he was my father. He rejected me from the first time I opened my eyes and stared into his face. That rejection hurt me to the core. In my... youth, circumstances made me believe the whole world was a harsh place which you could only find pain and rejection in. All I wanted was love and affection from the man who created me, but it was denied me. So when I learned who he was I sought him out. I wanted him to help me...cure my loneliness.]

[At first he accepted, but then panicked, not believing what I told him. I felt betrayed once again and chose to try to force him to help me. I...] The man stopped as his voice caught. There was no mistaking the sound of sorrow in him when he was able to speak once again. [I hurt innocent people, for no other reason than he cared for them. I wanted to hurt him in the way he hurt me. I hated the fact he cared for others and not me. So I tried to make him understand my pain by returning to him what he gave me. I managed to force him to acquiesce to my demands, giving me what I wanted. But it was not to be, and my plan fell through. My father swore revenge against me, vowing to hunt me to the ends of the Earth to kill me. And he did. I took everything from him, he had nothing left to lose save his life, and that was only useful to him insofar that it was necessary for him to have it to kill me.]

[I ran and he followed, until I at last turned the tables on him. I became the hunter and he the hunted. Eventually, he fell sick and died. I came to him before his body grew cold. As I stared down at his body, I realized that I never wanted any of it to have happened. In the end, I still had nothing, and no chance at anything. All I did was spread the misery which I railed against. I wasted everything. Realizing that, I chose to kill myself. You can imagine my surprise when I discovered I cannot die like others.]

[For years I hated myself, eventually wandering throughout the lands, not so much unlike yourself. I watched and observed how everything in the world worked, and in time, my self loathing grew less. Time may not heal all wounds, but it can scar them over so you don't have to notice them. I eventually made acquaintances, even some friends. Few mind you, but friends nonetheless. I finally set out upon the course I should have so long ago. I could have had it all much sooner, but instead I wasted years trying to fill a pit that can never be filled. Revenge has a place in life Ryouga, but it should never consume life.]

[Now I ask you a question Ryouga. If you attain your revenge upon Ranma, what will you have left? Will it be what you want? Will you feel satisfied, or empty?] Ryouga began to respond when the man cut him off. [Do not answer an important question like this now. Think upon what was said. Let it sink in. Now that you understand the question Ukyou asked if you, you have the ability to answer it.]

The two sat in silence for several moments. Eventually, the stranger stood up. [It's time for the sunrise. I have not seen it with anyone for quite some time. Would you join me?]

Ryouga agreed and the two went to the mouth of the cave, waiting for the sun to break over the horizon. As the crimson rays of dawn cut through the darkness, Ryouga realized for the first time how beautiful the sight really was.

Ryouga held out his hand to the man. [You said you don't have many friends, well neither do I. I would consider it an honor if I could call you one.]

The stranger seemed startled for a moment, then shook Ryouga's extended palm. [As would I.]

Ryouga set off to find his equipment. Before he had gone too far he turned and spoke to the man. [If ever you're in Nerima. Stop by Uk-chan's and give me a call.] Ryouga turned once again and set off. Leaving the stranger standing there, alone, yet without the feeling of loneliness.

[Perhaps it is time for me to learn Japanese.] He thought as he turned once again to face the sunrise. Telling the story had brought pain, but also happiness for the first time. The man felt a tear fall down his face.

[Oh Victor. My father. How I miss you so.]

Days later, an airliner landed in Nerima in the middle of the night. After the plane came to a rest, a bat dislodged itself from its concealed spot in the landing gear compartment. It flew unerringly to its destination.

Ukyou awakened to the sound of scraping at her window. She drew back the curtains and saw a bat scratching the window. She opened it without a word and went to Ryouga's bedroom, allowing the bat to follow. She set out some clothes he had left behind and exited the room, returning moments later with a kettle of hot water. She set it down and exited the room once again, closing the door behind her. Ryouga-bat knocked the kettle onto himself and put on his clothes. Once finished dressing, he opened the door to see Ukyou in the hall. She appeared neither happy nor sad it seeing him, a look of neutrality on her face.

"You kept a kettle burning?" he asked.

"It seemed more appropriate than leaving a candle in the window." Ukyou answered, maintaining her neutral expression.

Ryouga looked solemnly at Ukyou. "I've given it a lot of thought. I can't make any guarantees, but I want to try to change, if you'll let me."

Ukyou finally broke her neutral expression with soft smile. "That's all I can ever ask of you." She paused, taking a deep breath. "It's late, and you have to get up early to help me open. Good night." She turned quickly, and entered her room, not wanting Ryouga to see the tears of joy running down her face.

Epilogue

Tarou picked himself up and took another swing at Cologne. She side stepped him and tossed him into the third wall.

"Look Tarou, I apologize."

"That's not good enough!" he said as he picked himself up and went for anther swing.

This time Cologne used her staff to vault over him, tapping a point on the back of his neck, causing him to freeze up in mid-motion. She sat upon his head and spoke.

"See here. I've been going easy on you because you are right. I should have told you about the curses. I apologize. If you insist upon attacking me, I will deal with you in like fashion. My patience is at an end." She tapped a different point on his neck. "Now, I am willing to let bygones be bygones. Neither of us needs another enemy. Agreed?"

Tarou reluctantly nodded his head. He would wait for a better opportunity for vengeance. Besides, there was still Ranma and Shampoo to deal with. He smiled at the elderly Amazon and walked off.

Cologne watched the boy go. Naturally she had left out the Nanniichuan curse, the fewer that knew about it the better. Now he knew Shampoo's secret, something Cologne wanted to keep out of his hands. Given his Chinese origins it was not at all unlikely that he might return to China and let slip some information about Shampoo and her curse. Not only that, she was going to have to sleep with one eye open from now on, given Tarou's obvious displeasure with her. Cologne sighed in frustration. Nothing was working at all. It was time to change tactics. If only Shampoo wasn't being so stubborn. There had to be some way of getting her to Jusenkyou...

Cologne's thoughts trailed off. Of course! It was so apparent. Why hadn't it occurred to her before? She hopped off to find the Mousse.

"Mousse! Where are you, you idiot?" She spotted him pruning some strangler vines in the interior of the greenhouse.

"What do you want you dried up piece of jerky." That got him thrown into the vines, which of course began to strangle him.

"You had best watch your tongue, boy! I need your help."

"Not a chance!" He pulled out some blades and did some additional pruning, freeing himself.

"Oh, I think you'll help me with this one." She told him the plan in detail.

Mousse could have kicked himself, it had been so obvious. "Of course! I'll leave immediately!" He would be the key to Shampoo's salvation. The solution to all her problems was practically in his hands and he would make certain his love knew it was he that saved her. Shampoo would have no choice but to accept him, which was the way it should always have been.

Special thanks to  
Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Kevin Robert Wible  
Dr. Wade Tritschler  
and Blade for the Tarou FAQ file.


	13. Sins of the Past II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perfume returns and more problems arise

Prologue

Three years ago:

Thirteen year old Perfume looked at the vacant side of the battle tree. Clouds covered the moon, shrouding everything in near pitch blackness. Through the darkness, she stared at where her opponent would be in another hour. She had never been this early to a fight, and now she knew why. It was a mistake. The longer she waited, the more time she would think about the duel. The more she thought about the fight, the more anxious she would become. Her fighting always became sloppy as she got anxious. It had been habit to distract herself before a fight, doing anything but thinking about the opponent. All that was done in the days before a duel. She paused in thought, breath forming clouds of steam in the frigid air. It was a cold morning, even for this time of year. Still, hot or cold, it would not affect her fighting abilities. There was a strange feeling in her before this fight. It wasn't fear. She knew fear. She suffered from that in her first few fights since her improvement. It wasn't anxiousness. She knew anxiousness. She felt that from her last few fights. It was something else. Something she couldn't put her finger on. She shook her head to relieve herself of such thoughts. It wasn't conductive for her to ponder things like that. This was no time for deep introspection. She had to mentally prepare herself for the upcoming duel.

The sunrise was still minutes away. Having nothing better to do, she stared off into the horizon, waiting the coming of the morning orb which would burn away the mist that had formed in the early morning. The dull glow of the sun, broke the horizon and lit up the clouds which hung high overhead. The landscape took on an eerie crimson glow, unlike anything Perfume had ever seen.

"Red skies. The color of blood. A bad omen."

Ranma1/2 Presents  
Shampoo 1/2

Chapter 13  
Sins of The Past II

Standard disclaimer  
I disclaim I own any of these characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to as well as other parties.

C+C always desired.  
Azatlan has provided a home for Shampoo 1/2 at:  
~azatlan/  
under Ranma 1/2 Special Series  
Want previous chapters or anything else? email me at sommer

An Alternate Universe:  
What's gone on before (Or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the beginning, the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Drowned Young Man later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and briefly became engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up, Ranma became engaged to Akane. On the first day of school, water and confusion mixed causing everyone to believe that Ranma-chan is Shampoo and Shampoo-kun is Ranma. In the last chapter, Akane had a meeting with Ranma and accidentally kissed Ranma-chan, causing Akane to promptly freak out. Cologne managed to convince Tarou to try to capture Shampoo, who Cologne wants to take back to China to cure her, or failing that, stand trial for becoming a man. When Tarou arrived at Furinkan he mistakenly identified Ranma-chan as Shampoo, and began to fight. Tarou was eventually defeated, but not before he learned Shampoo and Ranma's secret, and swore revenge. Cologne came upon a plan involving Shampoo which Mousse agreed to help with. Also, Ryouga, who fell into a spring of drowned bat, was mistakenly identified as a vampire in Transylvainia and nearly killed. He was saved by a large mysterious man who explained to Ryouga the folly of throwing away your life for revenge. Ryouga decided he would go back to Ukyou and try to make peace with Ranma. Perfume, a mysterious Amazon from Shampoo's past, has sworn to kill Shampoo. On her first visit to Nerima, she had an opportunity to kill Shampoo, but upon discovering Shampoo's curse inexplicably left. Now she's back...

Denotes Chinese

Part 1  
Truth or Dare

Perfume stood, awaiting the arrival of Shampoo. Usually few people were up this early in the morning, but there were a lot of villagers present. The Amazons wanted to see the fight between two of the best young up and comers. Perfume tried picking out figures in the crowd. Her mother and father were in attendance, as was her aunt and two cousins. She recognized two young girls that hung around Shampoo all the time. Perfume tried to recall their names, RanRan for one and something that started with an L for the other. Be Dea approached towards the rear of the crowd. There was only one reason that particular elder would be here, it was to see if Cologne's protégé would fall today. Perfume smiled at her insight. Thirteen years old and she already had a grasp on politics that most adults would envy.

The small crowd parted for two people. Shampoo had at last arrived with her great grandmother. As Shampoo jumped onto the tree Perfume got a good look at her face. Dark rings were under the purple haired Amazon's bloodshot eyes, making it appear as though she hadn't gotten any sleep since the challenge letter. Shampoo leveled her gaze at Perfume, giving a deep accusatory stare.

"W...what is it Shampoo?" Perfume cursed herself for stuttering. It made her sound afraid, giving Shampoo the advantage. The purple haired Amazon didn't answer.

"Oh come now. Don't tell me you're surprised."

Silence

"You knew this would happen."

Still no acknowledgment of the words being spoken.

"I told you from the first day we met I wanted to be matriarch." Perfume's voice became more agitated. "We are the best. You had to know it would come down to the two of us."

Shampoo just continued glaring.

"This won't be our last fight. As evenly matched as we are, we're going to collide many times. This is just the first.

No response.

"Shampoo, don't be this way."

The girl's piercing gaze never left Perfume's eyes.

"Damn it! Say something! Curse me if you have to. Swear at me."

Silence.

Perfume's voice took on a more pleading tone. "Don't just stand there and look at me."

The glare continued.

"I can't stand your silence." Perfume's voice had dropped to a whisper.

Nothing.

Perfume's voice changed, confidence trying to overcome the sadness barely reigned within. "Fine! Be that way! It's not going to stop me. I want this! I want it more than anything! I won't let you stop me!" Perfume went into an attacking posture with her naginta. Shampoo answered by bringing up a bonbori and sword.

Perfume took note of the weapon selection. Shampoo usually used two bonbori. The sword was an unusual choice for her. Perfume advanced, naginta swinging. As her first strike was blocked, she knew the fight was over. Perfume lacked the calm and battle demeanor necessary for her to win the duel. Every one of her attacks were off, her limbs felt weak, and she couldn't remember the pattern for her assault. Every maneuver was like trying to move through quicksand. The two of them never had a sparring session that went less than twenty minutes. This fight didn't go five. Perfume never had a chance.

Shampoo managed to disarm Perfume by bringing a bonbori under the naginta as it was held for a block. Perfume's eyes traveled with the flight of the polearm for less than a second. Her eyes came back to see Shampoo looking down on her, the sword reached the height of its arc, having been put into position to follow up the bonbori strike. A now useless gesture since Perfume was disarmed.

"You've w..." Perfume never got a chance to finish as Shampoo hesitated but an instant before allowing the sword to come down. Perfume finally saw the stare change from an accusatory one to that of satisfaction, the faintest of smiles pursing Shampoo's lips as the blade finished its descent.

Then pain.

Ohgami had been staring at his companion next to him on the plane. While she slept, he stole glances at the girl, thinking about the odd shade of hair color and unusual hair style she had. He had assumed the attractive pink haired girl had been asleep. If that was the case, she must have had some nightmare as she screamed and jumped out of the seat, snapping her seat belt as though it was nothing more than a piece of string. Being the Casanova that he was, his mind instantly realized that here was a chance to get the girl to think about him in a nice way, comforting her in this time of need. When they first boarded the plane he tried to start a conversation with her, but she simply blew him off. Now he moved to calm her down, even as the girl's eyes focused once again on the real world. That was when he saw it and recoiled.

It took Perfume a moment to come back to reality after the dream. It was the same blasted nightmare each time. At first it was every night. After a year it became four or five times per week. Now, three years later, it was down to around twice a week. And always it ended in screaming. As reality came back, she realized the man sitting next to her was now recoiling in disgust. It took her a moment to realize that it was now able to be seen. She ran a finger along it to show off to her companion.

"Not very pretty. Is it?" She looked at him quizzically as she concealed it beneath its hiding place once more. One of the stewardesses finally made her way over to see what the commotion was about.

"Is everything all right Miss? Did you have a bad dream?" she asked.

"More like a memory," Perfume responded as she sat back in her seat. "But one that will be laid to rest shortly." The smile she gave unnerved her seating companion to no end. There would be no further attempts at conversation with the attractive girl.

Perfume disembarked from the plane and immediately set out for the Tendo Dojo. It was the most likely place for Shampoo to be, and if she wasn't there, then Perfume would check elsewhere. If it came right down to it, she would level Nerima if that was what it took to flush her rival out of hiding. There could be little doubt she would have gone to ground, not after what happened last time. The memory of the last encounter triggered a near psychotic reaction from Perfume. If it hadn't been for that fight, she wouldn't have the problem she had now. Shampoo had managed not only to ruin her life once, but twice. Blood was the only acceptable solution. Nothing would stop her now. Nothing.

Ranma headed downstairs to hit the dojo before the morning rush. Akane had stopped actively avoiding him five days ago and was trying to get him to spar with her. Worse, his father now included her in the daily practices. It wouldn't have been so bad if his father was actually trying to help him, but Genma would constantly harp on about what a cute couple the martial artists made when working together. It was all another inane plot to force the two of them together.

Upon arriving at the dojo he was surprised to see someone all ready there. Shampoo was dressed in a shirt which ended well above her mid-riff, and a pair of very short shorts. She smiled at Ranma as he entered the dojo.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked.

"I have stitches removed a couple days ago. Dr. Tofu say he amazed at how fast I recover. Side is better now. See?" The shirt was cut high enough that he could see the scarring without her having to raise the shirt. It was still nasty looking, but had healed very well. Ranma didn't notice the worried look in Shampoo's eyes as he approached and examined the wound.

"Yep. Looks better," he stated as he inspected the site. "Pretty nasty scar there though." He didn't notice Shampoo flinch at that statement as he shrugged. "Guess it comes with the territory." He then looked her in the eye. "I'm a little jealous."

That startled Shampoo. "You are?"

"Yeah! It's better than the ones I got. Want to see?" Oddly enough, he almost seemed eager to show them off, so she nodded.

He pulled his pant leg up, revealing an old pink wound on his calf. "Got this when I was practicing on some rocks in a river. Balancing exercises. I was real clumsy, fell off, and hit another rock. Cut my leg pretty bad. And then there's this." he let the pant leg back down and raised his shirt, showing off another, older scar on his abdomen. "Got this one when I was younger. Pop was training me with swords and I decided to practice with one when he wasn't around. I ended up slashing myself." He gave a chuckle. "It scared the heck out of me so I went crying to Pop about how I was going to bleed to death. After he calmed me down enough to see I was going to die, he asked me how I got it. Best I could come up with was I was cutting carrots when it slipped. Even Pop could see through that one." He started laughing harder.

Shampoo joined in. "Wait. Shampoo have other ones too." She turned her back towards Ranma and lifted up the back of her shirt, revealing a small faint scar between her shoulder blades. "Shampoo clumsy too. Was practicing on log and fall off. Tree branch cut me bad. And," she trailed off as she lowered her shirt and then pulled her leg on the shorts up as far as she could, showing off a small deeper scar high on the inside of her thigh. "Got this one in fourth tournament I was in. Girl almost get me with spear. But I win in end." She smirked in pride.

"Well here's my worst. Can't really see it though cause it's in my hair." Ranma pointed out a spot to feel on the back of his hair. Her fingers found what was unquestionably a long bit of scar tissue on his head. "Got that from a c...c...cat during that stupid training, y'know." He was sweating appreciably with the memory of his cat fist training. "Those are all the main ones. Got a lot of smaller one's that aren't really noticeable unless you're looking for them."

Shampoo nodded. "Same way for Shampoo. Lot's of little ones." She couldn't have been happier. Ranma wasn't repulsed by the disfigurement. On the downside, he turned to go.

"Wait Ranma!" Shampoo shouted out. "We spar."

Ranma considered that. "Nah! You just got better. I don't think you're ready." That got him a leap kick which he barely dodged. "O.K." he grinned, "We'll do it your way." And with that, the match began.

Shampoo had a lot of pent up energy from the last two weeks and unleashed it on Ranma, forcing him on the defensive for several minutes before things evened things out. It took another five minutes before he tagged Shampoo with several solid shots, knocking her off her feet.

"That was great. I haven't..." Ranma was cut off as Shampoo gave a fierce look and tackled him, causing the two to start rolling on the ground, each trying to gain the advantage. Eventually Ranma overpowered her, grabbing her wrists and pinning her arms to the ground while straddling her chest. She put up just enough of a struggle to force him to keep his weight forward in order to keep her down.

"All right Ranma. You win." The fierce look disappeared as she went limp in his grasp. "Now you get first prize."

That confused him. "What's first prize?"

She gave him a seductive glance. "Guess."

Sweat started to break out on his brow. "W...what are you tryin' to..."

The rest of the statement was cut off by a punt and a, "RANMA YOU PERVERT!" as his form went sailing through the roof of the dojo to a far off place. Shampoo hopped to her feet to confront Akane.

"Why you do that?" Her voice sounded very icy.

"He was being a pervert in case you didn't notice! I saw the way he was holding you down."

"If Shampoo want Ranma off, Shampoo get him off." She scowled harder at Akane. "Never touch him because you think you protect me!"

Akane was shocked. "You mean you want him to do that?"

"Why Akane worry? Jealous?"

"Of course not!" She blustered back. "Don't be stupid!"

"Right." And with that Shampoo jumped through the Ranma shaped hole in the roof.

Akane stomped off back in the house. "OH! I hate it when she does that. Where does she get off trying to boss me around? Telling me what I can and can't do." Her tirade was interrupted by Nabiki.

"Telephone for you Sis."

That was a surprise. Akane wasn't expecting any calls. She calmed herself in an effort to keep the anger out of her voice. "Hello?"

"Hi there. Is this the Akane Tendo who attends Furinkan High?"

"Yes, it is." The voice didn't sound familiar.

"This is Tarou, the guy you saved. Remember?"

Oh. That's who it was. "Of course." She suddenly became concerned. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, yes. Everything is fine. I just wanted to thank you properly. How about we meet at Ma Maison? You know where that is right?"

"Ummm, sure. I know where it is."

"Good. I'll meet you there at four o'clock. Is that all right?"

Akane didn't have any plans. "Yes."

She could hear what sounded like a release of breath. "Wear something nice. Bye."

Akane heard the click on the other end and started to walk away when she realized something.

"I wonder why he said, 'wear something nice?'"

Tarou placed the receiver back in the cradle. He had no idea exactly why he felt the urge to see Akane again. He had people to beat up, and sooner or later the girl was going to ask him his full name. Still, he couldn't seem to get her face out of his head. It was a pleasant irritation. She wasn't beautiful, just cute, but there was some imperceptible quality about the smile she gave him though. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't recall the last time a girl smiled at him. At any rate, maybe he could lay some groundwork for something after Happosai was taken care of. Yes! Why not? He would woo her, then change his name, and have a normal life. Well, assuming she didn't mind someone who changed into a minotaur-like creature when wet. If she couldn't deal with that, tough. He was keeping his curse no matter what.

Humming to himself, he went off to Mousse's room, knocked on the door, and hearing no response, shattered the lock.

"Hey Mousse! You here? I need some money." Tarou expected no answer. Mousse had gone to China on some mission for Cologne. "Well, I know you'd let me have it, since I'd beat the crap out of you if you didn't." He chuckled to himself until his search turned up a large wad of bills from a drawer. It disappeared into a pocket just before Kodachi walked in.

"What are you doing here? And where's Mousse?" She gave Tarou a suspicious glance.

"He went..." Tarou trailed off as an idea occurred to him. "I heard him say something about attacking Ranma, then left. Haven't seen him since."

Kodachi shifted from suspicion to concern. "That foul beast may try to hurt my darling. It would be best if I assisted him." Kodachi walked off, leaving Tarou to chuckle to himself. If he was going to be busy today, why not let someone else entertain Saotome?

Ranma hung upside down from a branch of the tree he landed in. Ordinarily, he would be consumed with what names he could come up with to describe the thug he was engaged to. But today, something else preyed on his thoughts.

"What the heck was Shampoo doing?" Surely the Amazon didn't mean what he thought she meant. It had to be something else. It took him a while before he figured it out. She was joking. That was it. She was pulling his chain by pretending to be hinting at... something else. That caused a deep sigh of relief. Practicing with Shampoo was so different from doing it with Akane, that sometimes he simply forgot how different the two girls were.

It wasn't much longer until Shampoo found Ranma's landing spot. He was still hanging upside down when she arrived.

"Ranma, is you O.K.?" She asked, her voice laced with concern.

He smiled back. "Yeah. I'm fine," he answered, then thought, "Two can play at her little game."

He hopped out of the tree and walked over to Shampoo, tilted her chin up with his finger, then gave what passed for a seductive smile from him, (it looked like a stupid grin.) "And maybe next time we won't be interrupted." He turned his back and walked off, missing her eyes widen in surprise, then delight.

She glomped onto his arm, smiling at him. "We go out and have good time. Yes?"

"Ummm. Sure. Let's go." The two walked off.

Perfume hid herself in some bushes next to the Tendo Dojo. She would remain hidden for a little while, then, if Shampoo didn't show herself, she would look through the house. Discreetly though. No sense in announcing to the world she had returned. Shampoo would discover that soon enough. As she sat there and waited, she allowed her mind to drift away into the past, thinking about the events that led up to this point in her life.

Perfume was the only child of one of the best warriors in the village. At an early age she realized she was different from other children. When she was four she began to read. What made it all the more remarkable was that it was self taught. The words just seemed to make sense to her one day. By the age of six she was reading as well as an adult, and by eight she was able to read advanced political discussions and philosophical books and grasp exactly what was meant, even if she didn't care for subjects. But as good as she was, there was something else remarkable about her, she was horrible at any physical activities. Martial arts, weapon's training, general athletics, all equally poor. This didn't go unnoticed by her peers. As young children were wont to do with anyone different from them, Perfume ended up picked on. In defense she would try to outsmart her peers, which she could do easily. The backlash of those actions was to be picked on even more.

Despite her poor combat abilities, her mother never treated her poorly. She would encourage Perfume to read some more and keep learning, telling her she had a magnificent gift that would benefit the village immensely. Her status among her peers would increase in time as they grew older and would acknowledge her intelligence. Many of the elders had advisors to help them decided on matters, and if Perfume continued learning at the rate she did, she could be the one everyone went to for advise.

In spite of all of her mother's encouragement, Perfume was still unsatisfied. Anytime she would start to feel adequate with her abilities she would see her mother practice with others or enter a tournament. Her mother moved like a graceful tiger. Smooth moves flowing from one into another, winning almost all of her fights. She was magnificent. Perfume had no right to be this woman's daughter. Perfume was an Amazon. She had to be able to fight. She wanted to make her mother proud. She wanted to show everyone who pushed her around she could fight. She wanted to be the best. She had to be the best.

Her current path began one day when her mother was helping her train. Li Fhall, one of mother's friends, came by. Perfume was told to keep practicing while she talked with Li. Perfume continued practicing hard, going through the katas, when she overheard her mother say something. Others would not have caught the quiet statement, but her hearing was better than average. When Li Fhall asked how the practice was going, her mother responded by telling her not to worry. It didn't matter how much time was spent wasting in practice, Perfume was brilliant and would become an advisor someday. She went on to proudly describe some of the things her daughter had accomplished recently. Another child might have been delighted that their parent would be proud of their achievements, but Perfume could only focus on the startling revelation: her own mother thought training her was a waste of time. Keeping her emotions in check, she quietly asked if she could call it a day. Her mother casually agreed and returned to her talk with Li Fhall, unaware of her daughter's tearing eyes.

Perfume ran off, heartbroken. Even her mother thought she was pitiful. At that moment she would have given up her genius for just becoming half as good as her mother. Anything to make herself better. She kept asking herself why she was so pathetic. She trained as much as anyone, even more. Hours were spent in practice, and she would beg her mother to put in even more time so she would become an able bodied warrior, but it never did any good. She would always lose, badly. It wasn't fair.

As she wandered about aimlessly a noise caught her ear. The sound of someone speaking harshly to someone else. One of the few things Perfume could do well was move quietly, not that that talent made her feel better. With the young girl's curiosity piqued, she moved under cover until she was almost on top of the speakers. She hid in some bushes and looked into the dry gully, observing two short figures in practice, training. She immediately recognized Cologne, the matriarch, and the purple haired girl with her, Shampoo. Shampoo had beaten Perfume not more than a month ago in one of her first tournaments. It took less than ten seconds for Perfume to end up on the ground, beaten.

She came back to the present and watched the two train. Currently, Cologne stood a good forty feet away from Shampoo. The matriarch was using her staff to fling small stones at Shampoo as the younger Amazon would snatch the rocks out of mid air to keep them from hitting her. At least that was what she was supposed to do. Instead, many of the stones pelted Shampoo as she missed them. The rocks lacked the velocity to break the skin, but were still hurled at a rate which caused pain when they impacted. One managed to catch the target right between the eyes, causing Shampoo to end up on the ground, a look of hopelessness in her eyes.

"Don't bother getting up Shampoo. If you aren't even going to try then you should just stay down. There are many other young girls that would relish the chance to be trained under my guidance, and I don't feel like wasting my time with you." There was clearly a look of disdain in Cologne's eyes.

Perfume wondered how anyone could talk that way to their own great-granddaughter. It was cruel, and would surely cause Shampoo to break down and cry. It was much to Perfume's surprise that the purple haired Amazon heaved herself to her feet with a look of determination, not sorrow, etched on her face.

"So you want to try some more after all. Very well." And with that Cologne again flung rocks towards Shampoo.

The younger warrior was able to block a few more rocks than before, but was still getting hit. Despite that, she didn't give up, even when knocked to the ground again. Perfume was certain Cologne would be angry for Shampoo being unable to catch many more if the projectiles. But when they at last stopped, there was a horrible toothy grin upon her face.

"Well done. Well done indeed. I am very proud of you Shampoo. Come. Let's get you looked after, then celebrate. I'll make you your favorite dish, then we'll do something fun." Shampoo smiled back at her great-grandmother as the duo walked off side by side.

Perfume couldn't understand what had happened. Why was Cologne so jubilant about Shampoo only doing slightly better than before? She sat there and pondered the question for a long time until understanding dawned. Cologne wasn't so much testing Shampoo's reflexes as testing her spirit. Her desire to go on through adversity even though it would hurt and she probably wouldn't do any better. That caused Perfume to recoil a little. She had never been tested like that, and that was when she realized what was wrong. Why she hadn't really improved in all this time. Her training lacked intensity. Her mother simply went through the motions of practice, never driving Perfume to the limit. Never testing her the way Shampoo had been tested. That was what she wanted. No, needed. She ran off to locate her mother as quickly as she could.

Perfume returned home. Even as her mother greeted her the woman could see the change in her daughter.

"Mother. I don't want to waste time any more either. I want you to train me."

Her mother was obviously confused. "What are you talking about? We train almost every day..."

Perfume cut her mother off. "NO! Not like that. I want you to push me. Yell at me. Drive me to be the best. Don't go easy on me like you have been."

Her mother sadly shook her head. "You don't know what you're asking. You have a gift. Cultivate it. Let it grow. You can be..." She was cut off again.

"NO! I want to be the best. I don't care what it takes. That's what I want. Not to sit in some room and have people ask me questions. I want to fight, to gain respect. I want to be like you. And if you won't do it," she paused as she decided to take a gamble, "then I'll go to someone else."

Her mother's attitude shifted. Her eyes suddenly took on a more cold cast as she gazed upon her daughter. For the first time in her life Perfume was genuinely afraid of her parent.

"You think you know what you're asking? Don't make me laugh." Her mother's voice sounded like ice, but somehow, in some terrible way, it suited her. "You have no idea what it is to be driven to the brink, to be made to go as far you can, then forced to go further. Saying you want to be driven is one thing, actually having it done is another." She stared into Perfume's eyes. "Do you want that? Do You? I'll warn you. If we start down this path, I won't let you stop. I'll make you work until I think you'll break, then I'll make you go further. Are you certain that's what you want?"

Perfume stopped and truly thought about it, as her father entered the room and silently observed the proceedings. There was still time for Perfume to back out and return to the way she was. She gave an inward snort. To be ridiculed by everyone. Death would be preferable.

" I'd rather die then fail."

Her mother looked down upon her, "You will do everything I say without question. If I tell you to jump off a cliff you will do it, or I'll throw you off. We will not quit! Do you understand?" Perfume nodded. "Then here is what you will do," she pointed outside. "Start running in that direction. Run and don't stop. And when you can't go any farther, run another mile, then another. After that, run back. And if it is not to my satisfaction, you will do it again. Go! NOW!"

Perfume did as she was bade. Just as she headed out the door, she heard her father finally speak up.

"What was that about?"

She barely heard her mother's response as she ran off. "You're male, and wouldn't understand." That was the first time she ever heard her mother talk to her father in the condescending way so many other's talked to men.

Perfume ran until she was sure she wasn't able to go forward anymore, and somehow managed to run another mile. She tried to keep going but her legs gave out from under her. Failure wasn't an option, so she dragged herself the final mile, but the exertion proved too much as she collapsed and passed out. It wasn't until hours later she regained consciousness, after night had fallen. Tears flowed from her eyes. There was no way she would ever make it back in time to please her mother, but she wouldn't give up. Never give up. She regained her feet and headed off as fast as she could toward home. Arriving hours later. Her mother was in the exact same spot she was when Perfume left. She waited for the scream of rage for failure.

"You've done well for your first day. Rest and we'll really begin tomorrow." Her mother turned and left, causing Perfume to give an inward smile. It was exactly what she wanted. The future looked bright indeed.

At first the training did little good. Her fitness increased considerably but she was still untalented and uncoordinated. That fact never stopped her mother from trying to mold her into a great warrior anyway. On more than one occasion Perfume considered trying to call things off. But then she'd remember her mother's words that night. No turning back. Her mother had become such a harsh creature that Perfume would not have been terribly surprised to discover her mother would kill her for trying to stop the training. So she continued. She didn't allow her studies to become neglect. When she wasn't practicing she was reading, or writing. Anything to advance her knowledge, whether it be knowledge of the martial arts, battle tactics of armies, or conjectures on human psychology.

It remained like that until around her tenth birthday. That was when puberty finally hit, causing her to finally blossom into a young woman. Her height increased and strength and coordination improved. She became faster and began catching up in her combat prowess, until she felt she could match any young warrior in the village. During all that time she had isolated herself from everyone, not that she had many friends to begin with. Once she felt she was ready, she challenged one of the weakest girls to a match. Perfume was scared to death of the fight. In her heart she felt there was no chance of victory. When all her life she had known nothing but defeat, it was near impossible to believe she could win. It was only her mother's presence which managed to keep Perfume from bolting before the match. It turned out the fears were groundless. Her opponent was defeated in less than a minute.

That was the beginning. She challenged several other girls in rapid succession to be certain of her skills. She stuck mostly to those that weren't very good, gaining confidence with each victory, until she became used to the taste of winning. It was during this time that the plan began to form. Rather than fight her way through every member of the village, she would lay low until after the upcoming tournament. Then she would learn who was the best and challenge those individuals.

No one knew just how much she had improved, just that she was better than she had been. Since she had been a joke for so long no one would believe she had become good. To make certain no one suspected the true level of her skill, she made it seem she barely won some matches against weaker opponents. The anonymity meant she could watch her opponents style and create counters for them. It worked better than she dared hope, for most of the girls she defeated didn't talk about their failure, too ashamed at having been defeated by HER. Most people only remembered how poorly she fought growing up, not realizing until after it was too late that she had become one of the, if not the, very best. Then came Shampoo...

Perfume shook her head. Being cast adrift in memories was simply a waste if time. Shampoo had not shown herself in the time Perfume had taken up her lookout position, and there was no more time for patience. Moving quietly she approached the house, hoping to remain undiscovered.

Tarou looked himself over in the mirror. The double breasted suit hugged his form in a style he was unaccustomed to. "I'm too sharp." He chuckled to himself as he admired just how handsome his appearance was.

The tailor cleared his throat. "Perhaps sir, you would consider going without the hoop earrings. They are somewhat distracting to your current ensemble."

Tarou stared back coldly. "If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you." He looked in the mirror to check out the earrings. The man was wrong. He'd look naked without them. They were staying. He checked his watch out and decided to leave a little early for his rendezvous with Akane.

Akane came downstairs looking for Kasumi, seeking her sister's opinion on her appearance. She finally spotted the eldest Tendo sweeping the front walk.

"Kasumi, do I look nice?"

Kasumi looked Akane over. She was wearing a pleasant yellow and green dress with a floral design. "Oh my. Yes. You look very nice. Is there some kind of special occasion?"

Akane smiled. "Oh no. I'm just meeting a new friend for lunch, and I guess it's kind of a classy place since he wanted me to dress nice. He wants to thank me for doing him a favor." She looked at her watch. "I'm going to leave now. I'm not sure when I'll be back. Say goodbye to everyone for me." And with that, Akane set off.

Interlude  
One Devil

The city formerly known as Kikio

Shakari took his usual route to work. If anyone could be called a creature of habit, it was Genichiro Shakari. He ate the same lunch at the same café everyday. He said hello to the same shop owners as he passed them everyday. He purchased the same paper from the same newsstand at the same time everyday. There had been only one time Shakari had been absent, causing the newsstand owner to wonder if the man had died. It turned out he had simply been sick. Shakari was the sort of man you could set your watch to.

Today was a typical day, purchasing lunch, saying hello, buying the paper, walking back to work. He came upon the mouth of the side street he always took to shave off five minutes of walking time. There hadn't been a day he missed walking down that avenue, which is why it was surprising when he continued walking down the same street he was currently on, not even bothering to look at the side street. When he arrived at work his boss would laugh at him and pat him on the back, relieved the man was human. For the first time in ten years Shakari was late, and for the life of him, he could not figure out how it happened.

The street was curiously absent of any pedestrians. There should have been dozens of people using it as a short cut to get across busy streets. But on this day everyone mysteriously avoided it, though not a single one person would be able to say why. Even the windows on the buildings overlooking the street were either closed, or people just didn't seem to look out them. If anyone had noticed, it would have appeared that there was some kind of miniature ghost town in one of the busiest cities in the world.

A lone figure stood in the middle of the street which everyone avoided. Adorned in black robes with a long black cowl, covered so not a piece of skin was showing save his eyes, he looked to the middle of the street.

"So. In future times, humanity will be able to point to this spot, and say 'here is where the first motions of the final plan were at last begun. Actions which ended one age and ushered in another'."

He looked to the street and gestured, causing an arcane symbol of power to ignite upon the ground.

"You believe death can keep you out of my service? Think again. I have need of you to serve me, even as you did so many years ago. Now ARISE!"

The symbol disappeared even as nothing happened.

One minute passed. Nothing

Two minutes passed. Nothing.

Three minutes passed. Cracks started to form upon the pavement.

Four minutes passed. More cracks formed, until at last a huge arm made of stone burst upwards from the asphalt, fingers stretching to feel the first rays of sunlight to fall upon them in centuries.

Part Two  
The Storm Breaks

Ranma was beginning to get concerned about the new growth on his arm: Shampoo. The girl had released her grip all of three times since they set off to have some fun, and that was only because he had to go to the restroom. At least she stopped trying to snuggle against his appendage. That had really caused him to tense up when she had started doing it. It made him feel...uncomfortable.

Shampoo was giddy with emotion. It was the best day she had had in a very long time and she couldn't have been happier. It had all gone perfectly. Ranma didn't mind the scar, had responded to her come on, and spent the entire day with her having fun. The only small problem was his discomfort when she tried to snuggle against him. She had been oblivious to it at first, but his silences and the way his body tensed under her touch led her to believe he may have been uncomfortable with the public displays of affection. Holding his arm didn't seem to cause the same problem though, so she settled for that while trying to come up with what to do next.

This was all new ground for her, and she was uncertain how far to go with it. Ranma could be so high strung sometimes that she could end up accidentally scaring him. Still, if he responded to her gestures that meant he was interested in her. As they walked she decided to lead him to the park next to the zoo. Maybe they could find a nice quiet spot out of the public eye, then they could snuggle up against one another. If only she had time to prepare some food for a picnic. Ranma always enjoyed eating, not so different from his father in that respect. Perhaps they could do it next time, after all, there were so many dishes she could prepare for him. She began to fantasize about what they would do the next time they got together when her daydream was rudely interrupted.

Perfume leaped down from the wall she had been using as a lookout point. It had been pure luck once again that she had spotted Shampoo's purple hair from her vantage point. She blocked the path of the duo, naginta drawn.

"Hello Shampoo. Long time no see. I believe our last 'discussion' ended without a resolution."

Ranma recognized the girl immediately and placed himself between Shampoo and Perfume. "Keep away from her you psycho! I won't let you lay a finger on her this time!" It didn't matter if the Amazon was a girl or not. She was not going to get a chance to hurt Shampoo.

Perfume responded with a derisive snort. "Believe me. I'm going to lay more than a finger on her." She evaluated Ranma's fighting stance. He knew martial arts. Good. That meant she could dispatch him if he got in the way. "I have no desire to kill you boy. Now stand aside!"

"Forget it!"

Perfume resisted the sudden urge to go ahead and kill the fool. "Unbelievable! Why is it everyone is so ready to throw their lives away for this backstabbing witch?!"

"Last time I heard," Ranma said, "you were the one that stabbed her in the back."

"WHAT!" Perfume started to glow dull blue.

"Shampoo told me all about what happened with you buddying up with her to use her. And now you're trying to kill her since you lost the fight anyway. Talk about sore losers." Ranma was a bit taken aback by the reaction from Perfume. The girl was shaking in a rage the likes of which he only saw when Akane was really steamed at him.

"You think this is about something as simple as losing the fight! What on Earth did she tell you?!" Then it suddenly dawned on her. She began addressing Shampoo. "You didn't tell him, did you?" Perfume calmed down, a smile starting to form on her lips. "That explains it. I should have known you wouldn't tell. You didn't want anyone to know what a dishonorable worm you are." Perfume turned back to Ranma. "Would you like to know what this is really all about?"

Shampoo's look became more intense. "Shut up Perfume. This is between you and me."

"Oh. And just why is it so important to you that he not know?" She looked more closely at Ranma, then back at Shampoo. "Do you care for him? Is that it? Is little Shampoo in love?" Contempt was laced in her voice as she examined Ranma more closely. "He doesn't look that powerful."

"Hey!" Ranma interrupted.

Perfume ignored the outburst. "Is he a good fighter? Must be if you fell in love him. Handsome too. Have you bedded him yet?" She noticed Shampoo scowl in response. "Guess not. How do you think he'll respond when I tell him?"

"I said be quiet!" Shampoo hissed.

"I WILL NOT! You are the one that set these events in motion! Now it's time to reap the whirlwind!"

Ranma looked on, confused that the conversation had taken an unexpected turn. For some reason Perfume seemed to think he and Shampoo were an item. And why was Shampoo talking in Chinese? "What's going on?"

"The girl that you have been so bravely defending has lied to you. Would you like to know the real reason that I'm going to kill her?"

"I'll shut you up!" Shampoo moved to attack, then backed off when Perfume brought her naginta to bear.

"Unarmed? I wouldn't recommend it."

Ranma placed his hand an Shampoo to restrain her. "She's trying to get you to attack."

"Not really," Perfume responded. "I just want her to feel some of the pain I've felt over the years."

"What are you talking about? What did Shampoo ever do to you?" Ranma asked.

"Would you like to know?" Perfume hissed angrily. "Would you really like to know what your precious little angelic Shampoo did to me?" Ranma nodded. "Then let me show you!"

Perfume pulled back the hair that ordinarily hid the left half of her face. When Ranma first got a good look at her, her appearance was that of a very attractive girl with an odd hairstyle. Now he realized the cut served a very utilitarian function. There was a long, deep, vertical scar which traveled the length of her face, from the top of her hairline almost to the bottom of her jaw. It was a miracle that her eye still worked, as the scar ran right across the socket. It was an unpleasant sight.

Ranma had seen some bad wounds before, and this one, though repellent, didn't cause him to cringe. "Yeah. That's a nasty scar you got there. But you gotta expect stuff like that when you fight those duels with weapons."

"YOU IDIOT!" Perfume burst out. "She didn't do this during the match! She did it to me after!"

"That's a lie. Shampoo would never do something like that." He turned towards Shampoo. "Isn't that right?"

Shampoo turned away and looked to the ground.

"Sh...Shampoo?"

Tarou was taking his time walking through the park, humming some song he had heard on the radio as he gazed upon the trees and squirrels. There was plenty of time to meet Akane and he was enjoying the smell of the bouquet he purchased for her. Everything just seemed to be falling into place for the man. Life was good. The only thing missing was a chance to beat the snot out of Saotome and his Amazon companion, and to make Happosai change his name. With any luck he would have those two goals realized very soon. As he traveled along he spotted something that convinced him this was truly his lucky day. The duo who had lucked out against him were standing off on a side path with some girl wielding a naginta. A decision had to be made. He did want to meet Akane, and taking the time out to beat the crud out of those two might make him late. She would be waiting for him to charm and impress her, and really, how could he let her down.

It was no use trying to talk himself out of it. He placed the bouquet of flowers and his jacket on a bench. This was too good an opportunity to pass up. Besides, there was plenty of time to take care of business as well as pleasure. "Saotome. You and your boyfriend are dead meat!"

Ranma turned to see his attacker from the other day approach. "I don't got time to deal with you!" he shouted to the approaching youth.

"It won't take long." Tarou sneered right back.

The four warriors looked at one another, trying to figure out how the sides would be divided. Perfume spoke up first.

"I don't care what you do with the boy, but the girl is mine." She stated as she addressed Tarou.

Tarou considered this. Beating all three would be next to impossible in the amount of time he had. Besides, he didn't give a damn about the pink haired Amazon. Ranma was the one that had dared to actually get lucky and beat him once. Tarou could live with pounding only him. "Deal." He swung at Ranma causing the youth to back up.

Shampoo went to help Ranma out of reflex when she was cut off by the naginta.

"Leave the males to play with one another Shampoo. This is between you and me, as you mentioned earlier."

"You didn't have to tell him. He didn't have to know." Perfume had opened a Pandora's Box of problems with her accusation. Shampoo needed to reassure Ranma that she wasn't really to blame. Somehow.

"I think it's appropriate. You'll die with him cursing your name instead of speaking it with reverence, and that's the way it should be. Besides, you shouldn't blame me," Perfume sneered. "It's your fault for not telling him."

Shampoo felt her rage building. Perfume was responsible for this. Things had gone form being perfect to nearly impossible to repair. "Is you going to kill me unarmed?"

"Your Japanese is atrocious. Please keep talking in our native tongue so as not to pain my ears any longer." Perfume went for the single bonbori strapped to her side and tossed it to Shampoo. "I will not butcher you without giving you a chance to defend yourself." She went for the sword at her opposite hip and tossed that to Shampoo as well. "Now we duel with the weapons we used once before. Though this time the outcome will be different."

"Why are you still trying to kill me? I thought you quit since you ran away after the first fight," Shampoo asked. "You could have finished me then."

Perfume looked at Shampoo and snorted. "To kill you, while tainted? I can think of no more useless victory."

"Then why are you trying to kill me now? I'm still cursed like before."

"That's none of your damn business! Now fight.

Their duel began.

The battle between Ranma and Tarou slowly took them away from the Amazons duel. Ranma attempted to keep an eye on Shampoo, but had his hands full with Tarou.

"Why don't we do this some other time you jerk?" Ranma yelled at Tarou. "That pink haired lunatic is trying to kill Shampoo."

"Like I really care," Tarou sneered back. "You afraid your boyfriend's going to get messed up?"

"Shut up!" Ranma threw a punch that Tarou easily blocked.

"I've got a question for you Saotome. Who wears the jock strap in your relationship?"

Ranma yelled and unleashed the Amagurikan, which Tarou easily avoided. He then retaliated by punching Ranma in the face.

"I'm on to that little trick fem-boy. You're going to do better than that." Surprisingly, Ranma backed off.

"Look pal," Ranma growled. "I'm asking you nicely. Please let me go for now. We can do this later. I need to help Shampoo."

Tarou considered it for a second, then chuckled. "Maybe you didn't hear me the first time. I don't give a damn what happens to her. In fact, I think it'd be pretty funny if something bad does happen. The bitch deserves it for gouging my eye last time. I couldn't see out it for a day."

"You worthless piece of crap!" Ranma attacked with a strong series of blows, trying to end the fight quickly. The longer it took, the more likely Shampoo was going to be hurt. He could question her about what happened in the past later.

Tarou defended the attack well, only allowing Ranma to connect once.

"Hey Ranma. Got another question for you." Tarou connected with a glancing blow. "When you guys have sex, is it when you're a girl and she's a guy? I can't tell since she looks better equipped in either form." Ranma threw a poor kick which left him wide open for another blow by Tarou. "My bet is it's when you're a girl. You seem like the submissive type to me."

Ranma attacked again in a furor. Tarou was forced to go completely defensive until Ranma left another opening, allowing Tarou to connect with a savage kick to the jaw which knocked Ranma off his feet. Just as he went in for the kill, Ranma leaped up from the prone position and nailed Tarou in the face with both feet. Both combatants stared off at one another again.

"I'm not suffering from the concussion I had in our first fight fem-boy. One shot to the head isn't going to stop me."

The fight wasn't getting Ranma anywhere. It wasn't really that Tarou's barbs were getting to him (much). He had to help Shampoo. If she got hurt again, or worse...

He allowed the thought to trail off. If ANYTHING happened to Shampoo while he was playing with the animal before him, there was nothing on the earth that would keep him from tearing the pantyhose adorned boy's head off. There had to be a way to end the fight quickly. Ranma mentally went down a list of attacks that he knew. Except for the cat fist, there was no way he could end the fight quickly, and it wasn't as though there was an abundance of felines around. Then he remembered an obscure technique he could use, but it was a chancy thing that might not work. And even if it did, there was a good chance Ranma might not be in any shape to help Shampoo. However, it was the only thing left, so he prepared himself for some pain.

Tarou watched Saotome miss a block as a fist connected solidly with Ranma's jaw. He was rewarded by seeing Ranma reel from the blow, leaving himself open. He hit Ranma with a cautious blow to the head. Seeing it connect fully, and Ranma in even worse shape then before, he unloaded a kick into Saotome's ribs. Ranma hadn't even tried to block it. Tarou knew the end was near, and unloaded a roundhouse kick fully into Saotome's stomach again. As bad as shape Saotome was, Tarou could play with his prey. He was about to elbow him in the head when Ranma ducked under it and unloaded the Amagurikan with everything he had into Tarou's stomach, knocking the youth backward and into the ground.

Tarou got to his feet. It seemed insane, but apparently Saotome had taken the hits just so he could get a good lick on Tarou. He paused to look at Ranma, figuring out just how much abuse his opponent had taken. It appeared that Ranma was in worse shape than Tarou, but once he regained his feet he corrected that thought. It felt like fem-boy might have knocked a few ribs loose, judging by the fire in his chest. Ranma moved to take advantage of Tarou's condition, but then doubled over in pain himself. Tarou had to laugh at that, which made him feel like someone poured gasoline on the fire raging in his chest. The fem-boy chump had injured himself as much as he hurt Tarou. As he got up, he noticed the condition his newly purchased suit was in. A gaping hole was now located along the rear end of his pants, right where he slid along the gravel path. The suit was ruined.

Tarou gave an evil glare at his opponent. "You're paying for this hermaphrodite. And in more ways than just one." Tarou lumbered over to a water fountain and ran some water. Since his suit was already ruined there was no sense in not changing. As his mass expanded the fire in his chest got worse. Tarou accepted the pain, knowing Ranma was in just as bad of shape. And if Ranma hurt half as much as Tarou did in cursed form, then the fight was as good as over.

The technique worked just like it was supposed to. Leave yourself wide open and brace for some pain until your opponent either got cocky or went for an all out attack that would leave him open. Of course you had to be able to take the abuse before you could attack, which was the main drawback to the technique. Ranma would never have employed it against Ryouga, one or two clean shots delivered by someone that powerful would finish him, but this foe was different. He didn't hit that hard and was incredibly arrogant, convincing Ranma he could take a few blows if it would finish the fight. He underestimated how much damage his foe could do, but got in the blow he wanted.

Relief changed to regret when Ranma saw his opponent walk over to the water fountain and change. He attempted to rush over and stop him, but the blows he allowed to fall upon him caused white hot shards of pain to lance through his body. If it wasn't for his opponent's curse, Ranma was convinced he would have won. All he needed was a few moments to recover, allowing his recuperative powers to take over. Unfortunately, he wasn't going to get them as Tarou-bull, roared in pain from the transformation, then approached. Just as Ranma was preparing to leap out of Tarou-bull's way, a gymnastics ball exploded in the cursed one's face. Ranma looked up to see Kodachi, adorned in leotard, standing atop a lamppost.

"Stay away from him, beast!" Kodachi threatened, leaving Ranma mystified as to why the gymnast would come to his rescue. Still, it was going to buy him the time he needed.

Tarou-bull was stunned by the detonation in his face. He took to the air, intending to wrap Kodachi up in the lamppost she was perched upon when she threw a dozen small darts which embedded themselves in Tarou-bull's chest. She deftly leaped out of the way as Taoru-bull crushed the post she had been on but moments before. He turned to renew his attack, until a feeling of extreme grogginess, almost as though he were drunk, came over him. Landing, he staggered a few steps, then crashed face first into the ground, unconscious.

The somewhat recovered Ranma looked down on Tarou's unconscious form, the desire to pummel the arrogant youth raging in his heart, but other things needed done. Shampoo was still in danger and he had to rescue her. Even as he turned to leave, Kodachi's voice halted him.

"I will ask you this but once Saotome. What have you done with my Mousse?"

"I got no idea what happened to the blind panda." Ranma did not have time for this.

Kodachi pulled a razor hoop from her leotard. "Wrong answer!" She hurled the hoop at Ranma. Just as he leaped up to avoid the ring it separated into four identical hoops, as though some lethal magicians trick.

"Oh great! Now she's taking tips from Mousse." Ranma thought as he attempted to dodge.

Shampoo raised her sword to block the naginta's strike. Successful, her own bonbori came in low in an attempt to knock out Perfume's knee. The pink haired Amazon leaped gracefully out of the way, landing but a moment before springing in an attempt to separate Shampoo's head from her body. The purple haired Amazon simply ducked under the blow.

"You're fighting much better this time Shampoo." Perfume tried another swing which missed. "But it won't do you any good. After what happened to me, you will die!"

Shampoo was fighting better because she felt more anger than guilt at her opponent. Perfume was responsible for trying to keep her from Ranma. Shampoo had tried to keep him from the details of her past. She was sorry. Why should she pay for her past crimes if she had repented and learned from the mistake? And why did it have to affect Ranma? He had nothing to do with her history. Why should he care? Shampoo tried to disable her opponent with a sword strike to the arm, which was blocked by the naginta which then came in for a retaliatory strike, which was, in turn, blocked by a bonbori.

"Why did you have to interfere Perfume? Why couldn't you leave well enough alone?"

"After what you did to me, you should have realized I would hunt you down to the ends of the Earth to seek my revenge. You should have looked over your shoulder the entire time!" Perfume swung again, and was actually pleased by the block. This was the Shampoo she knew and fought against in times past. This was the Shampoo she trained to fight the last three years. This was the Shampoo she wanted to kill.

The battle raged on between the two. Neither gaining an advantage. There was no telling how long the fight would have lasted, since a noise caught Perfume's attention.

She looked to the skies at the sound of the thunder. Dark clouds billowed in from high overhead. "NO! The weatherman said it would be clear all day."

"That's Nerima for you. I'd tell you to get used to it if you were staying." Shampoo responded, more than a little confused by her opponent's reaction. More surprises were in store as Perfume gained what was clearly a panicked expression.

"There's no more time," she said to herself as she held the naginta poised in front of her. " Final Attack: WHIRLING DERVISH!"

Shampoo watched as the naginta in front of her began spinning around with the speed of a propeller. The purple haired Amazon had only a moment to react as Perfume swung it back and forth, knocking the sword out of Shampoo's hand.

"It's a modified Amagurikan," Shampoo thought to herself. She gave ground as the polearm came in close to her person, Perfume continuing to swing it back and forth while still rotating it in her hands. Shampoo was a bit confused by the nature of the attack. "There's no way she can keep up that level of speed. She'll be exhausted soon." Shampoo realized all she had to do was avoid the spinning polearm a little bit longer, then she could finish off her exhausted opponent with ease. That was assuming she could keep from being sliced into briquettes in the meantime, though why Perfume would go for an all out attack this early in the fight made no sense

Shampoo continued to stay in a total defensive posture when fate took an unpleasant turn. Her foot slipped on a rock as she retreated, causing her to crash to the ground and end up on her back. Perfume discontinued her special attack and switched her grip on the naginta for an overhand thrust, allowing the blade to descend towards Shampoo's skull. The purple haired Amazon barely got her head out of the way. A second strike garnered the same results.

Shampoo concentrated fully on the flashing blade of the polearm as it descended towards her skull yet again. With each thrust she positioned her body so she could regain her feet. All it would take was one more miss and she would be in position. She watched the long weapon ascend for one more blow when she felt the first raindrops fall, changing her to Shampoo-kun. The added height and power would make things easier in regaining his foothold. He waited a moment as the sharpened end of the polearm began to descend...straight into the ground as Perfume lost her grip on the weapon. Shampoo-kun wasted no time in rolling to his feet to confront the large sloth in front of him.

The large sloth! He stared at it more closely, observing the shredded clothes and weapons on the ground. "You fell into Shutaniichuan and have the nerve to criticizes me for going to Jusenkyou?"

The sloth growled angrily at Shampoo-kun and lumbered forth. He simply leaped back fifteen feet, giving him about five minutes breathing room. Apparently the saying "slothlike speed" was well earned. Shampoo-kun noticed the downpour stopped as quickly as it arrived. VERY typical Nerima weather. He turned to the sloth. "Stay here while I get some hot water." and ran off.

Akane stood in front of the restaurant, tapping her foot impatiently. Tarou did say four o clock, and it was four ten now. If he was standing her up the least he could do was call. Typical of a man. They said one thing and did another. Akane didn't know why she put up with any of them. At any rate, she would give Tarou a piece of her mind, if he was ever unfortunate enough to cross paths with her again. Maybe she would shove him in front of a train.

It took Shampoo-kun a few moments to recognize where he was in relation to the zoo. This was the same spot where Ranma first fought Ryouga. That struck another memory. Shampoo-kun remembered where to get some hot water, assuming the pandas were still located in the same pen. He jumped over the wall into the panda pen and saw what he was looking for. The teapot and burner Mousse had left when he was trapped in the zoo. Not only that, but an espresso machine had been added to the pen as well.

"I need borrow this," Shampoo-kun said as he grabbed the teapot with hot water in it. The pandas simply shrugged and allowed him to take it away.

Shampoo used some of the hot water on herself before she returned to see Perfume-sloth walking around trying to chase after her. Shampoo noticed Ranma-chan, appearing the worse for wear, running along a path looking for her. Upon seeing the Amazon, Ranma-chan waved.

"You all right?" She asked as Shampoo nodded in response. "Where's Perfume?" The Amazon pointed to the irate sloth. "You've got to be kidding." One look told Ranma-chan Shampoo wasn't joking.

"Now we find out what going on with Perfume." Shampoo poured the hot water over Ranma first, then Perfume. The naked girl sat there, covering herself up as best she could.

"Ranma no look!" Shampoo admonished the boy as she grabbed a couple of newspapers from out of a trash can to give to Perfume. The pink haired Amazon stared angrily at Shampoo as she tried to cover herself up as best she could.

"What going on Perfume? Why you complain about me going to Jusenkyou when you turn into sloth?"

Perfume shook in fury. "You dumb bitch! I didn't have this damn curse until I met you!"

Shampoo shook her head. "Shampoo not understand. How I give you curse?"

"Because I went to Jusenkyou after our fight!"

Shampoo was still horribly confused . "Why?"

Tears formed in Perfume's eyes. "Because I was trying to find some Nyanniichuan for you!"

Both Shampoo and Ranma were visibly stunned by that revelation.

Perfume continued, "I wanted to cure you so I could kill you! Somehow I tripped and fell into spring of drowned sloth. Now my life is doubly ruined thanks to you!" Perfume's temper finally got the better of her. "I"LL KILL YOU!" And with that Perfume leaped forward to try to strangle Shampoo. She never got a chance to put her hands around Shampoo's throat as a blow to the head from a bonbori knocked out the pink haired Amazon.

Ranma looked down at Perfume's unconscious form. "Let's get some water and throw her in a cage in the zoo."

"Ranma. That not work on Mousse," Shampoo reminded him.

"Yeah. But she's different," Ranma responded. "She doesn't have any way to hide stuff that can heat up water. We'll just warn the zoo keepers she's allergic to hot liquids. That she could keep her from getting any. Let's get going."

The two of them used some cold water and hauled Perfume-sloth into the zoo, "explaining" the situation to the zoo keepers. After the matter was taken care of, the duo walked back to the park. The silence between them was palpable, neither wanting to ask or answer the question was on their minds. Ranma finally found the courage to inquire.

"Did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Don't play dumb with me Shampoo," Ranma growled. "Did you cut her like that after the duel?"

Shampoo suddenly found her mouth dry. Swallowing became an impossibility as her throat constricted in fear. She attempted to get some moisture back into her mouth, trying to answer, but words still failed her.

"I...I..." was all she could stutter out.

Ranma looked at her in shock. "You did, didn't you?"

Panic creeped into Shampoo's chest as she suddenly found her voice. "Ranma you have to understand. Shampoo...I feel betrayed. Perfume was best friend. Was only friend. I was alone until Perfume come into life. Then she challenge Shampoo to fight. You not know how that feel. Shampoo have no sleep for three days before match. Not think straight." Shampoo could feel her heart breaking when Ranma spoke, the sound of betrayal in his voice.

"That don't matter. There's no excuse for..." he paused. "for maiming someone like that."

"Shampoo know." In the back of her mind she realized that her improvement in Japanese was falling to the wayside as nerves became more and more shot. "Shampoo realize after match Perfume told truth. All it true. Perfume say she want to be matriarch from first day Shampoo meet. Should have known she would challenge. Shampoo was wrong. But Perfume went to doctor's, then leave village before could apologize."

Ranma wore a pained expression. "If you really felt sorry, you would have told me. When you were laid up in the hospital you would have told me the truth. Instead you lied to me. Again."

Shampoo's voice started to break up. "Sh...Shampoo not lie."

"The hell you didn't!" He shouted at her. "It's just like that thing with the old ghoul. You knew why Perfume was really after you, but you hid it, hoping I wouldn't find out. Well now I do." Ranma turned to leave.

She grabbed onto his arm out of desperation, preventing him from leaving. "Shampoo sorry! Does Ranma no understand? Shampoo nearly let Perfume kill her because felt so ashamed! Does that no mean anything?"

"I..." He looked her into her green eyes, shoulders slumping. "Look. I won't let anyone hurt you. But after what you've pulled..." he trailed off, not knowing what to say. There were so many conflicting emotions within him. Betrayal, anger, pity, all ran through him simultaneously. He thought he understood Shampoo, but to have his image of her so thoroughly shattered, he wasn't sure how to react. The thing he needed above all else was time away from her. To think things through. He jerked his arm out of her hand and turned to leave again.

"NO! Please believe! Ranma have to believe!" She went down to her knees, sobbing. Why did this have to happen to her? She had everything when the day began and it was all gone. Obliterated. Destroyed. Desperation began to control her thoughts. There had to be some way to make him change his mind. She couldn't let him just walk away hating her. She couldn't live with his hatred. Better to have let Perfume kill her if it came to that. There had to be something she could do.

That was when she remembered one way of making him change his mind. One way of making him forget these problems. Then things could go back to normal, just like they were before Perfume told him what had happened. They were the only two who knew what occurred today. No one around the household would be the wiser. She could cradle herself under his arm again, feeling the warmth of his body next to hers. That was what she longed for. She would know happiness instead of the misery she now suffered from. After all, it would be for the best, and it would be easy to do.

She took notice of the terrible shape Ranma was in from his two fights. He was much worse off than her, and they were close in abilities to begin with. Not only that, his back was already to her, not as though he would suspect anything anyway. He would have no defense against it. She had never told him about the technique, never seeing any reason to since he wouldn't ever use it. Looking at his form made it clear he was obviously almost as miserable as she was. He wanted to be happy just like her. Deep down inside he would thank her for removing the terrible burden his recently acquired knowledge gave him.

Having decided on the course of action, Shampoo stopped sobbing and began to follow Ranma, quickly closing the distance between the duo. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even hear her approach. The Xi-Fa-Xiang was just the thing he needed.

The purple haired Amazon pulled out a bottle of shampoo numbered 110 and quietly stalked closer to Ranma.

Much later, Ranma entered the Tendo Dojo. He didn't announce his presence with his usual gusto, but entered quietly instead. Akane spotted him and immediately noticed the blank look etched on his face. That was cause for concern. The only time she had seen a vacant look on his features was when The Director had repeatedly shocked him.

"What's wrong Ranma?" She didn't even try to hide the worry in her voice.

He stared at her vacantly. "I...I can't..."

She began to really worry. Something seemed to be wrong with the boy. "You can't what?"

He sat down as his expression went from vacant to frustrated. "I can't tell you."

Akane grew even more concerned, "Why? Did you forget something?"

He stared at her face, a pleading look now on his own.

"I only wish I could."

Shampoo lay in a huddled mass, curled into a fetal position. Her form wracked with sobs as she lay there, crying and shaking uncontrollably. She opened one tear filled eye to look out at the world around her. It was all so different now. There was nothing in it for her, just pain and misery. And she could have changed it. She could have made it all right.

It had been a near thing. She had positioned herself behind Ranma, shampoo raised above his head. The boy must have been really out of it if his normal danger sense was that far out of commission. All it would take was a quick scrubbing and blow dry and he would remember nothing except a clean and refreshed feeling. It would only take a matter of seconds to set everything right. She moved forward to pour the first bit of liquid on his hair and...

turned and ran, as far and as fast as she could. No conscious thought behind the decision as she speeded through the park. There was no way to see where exactly she was going. Her eyes watered too much to see anything. After an unknown distance she left the path and ran into some bushes, hiding away from the prying eyes of the world.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't violate him that way, even if it was for his own good. No, for their own good. God help her, she wanted to do it, but deep down inside she knew it would mean betraying him, again. Yet another lie. No matter what would happen in the future, even if he didn't remember, she would. She would always know. There would never be a time she could look at him without knowing she was the one that had defiled his memory, his very mind. There was no way she could live with that knowledge. Better to allow him to hate her than for her to hate herself, no matter how hard it would be. Ranma deserved to make that choice. It just wasn't right that it should hurt this much.

Epilogue

Cologne let out an exasperated sigh for the third time in the last ten minutes. Why must she be surrounded by incompetents, buffoons, and fools? Apparently, the children had engaged in some kind of foolish endeavor and ended up working at cross purposes. First Kodachi had returned, looking the worse for wear after an encounter with Ranma. Then the Black Rose discovered Mousse's true whereabouts and confronted Tarou with the information upon his return. He, in turn, accused of her of sabotaging him because of what he had done earlier. This confused Kodachi, until an explanation in the form of cold water was used by Tarou on himself. Needless to say, conditions deteriorated from there as the duo began to fight. Naturally, Kodachi's Ranma Eating Plant entered the fray in an attempt to defend its mistress. The fight escalated to a point where the three would have leveled the greenhouse, as well as a good section of Nerima if the matriarch hadn't stepped in. She was forced to employ a Hiryuu Shouten Ha to settle matters, leaving all three in a twisted heap. The only redeeming thing was that Mousse should be arriving at his destination any day. Now if only he didn't screw that up, things might start taking a turn for the better.

Mousse burst through the trees and finally set his eyes on his final destination. He had at long last found it. Now all had to do make sure he found the right one. If he got the wrong one it would just complicate matters further. That would be all he needed. After getting the prize, he could then rescue Shampoo from both Ranma and her great grandmother. Oh what a surprise the old ghoul was in for when he made his move. She thought he was some mindless fool that would beg and grovel before her. She always underestimated him, else she would have encouraged Shampoo to marry him, instead of constantly poisoning his love's mind against him. It didn't matter, Shampoo would be too smart for them, and come to the realization he was the only one for her, not the damnable Saotome. All it would take is a little help from the magic contained here.

He took in a deep breath once again as he gazed out at the majestic scene before him. From this vantage point it looked very beautiful. One didn't know just how dangerous the place was from this high up. He gazed down at the poles that adorned each pool, in this land of hundreds of springs, Jusenkyou.

Special Thanks to  
Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Dr. Wade Tritschler  
Kevin J. Wible


	14. Prophet and Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A side story as we learn why Nannichuan is so reviled by the Joketsuzoku

Prologue

The Present:  
Nerima, Japan:

Kasumi was on her way to the market, alone. Lately, Shampoo refused to do anything other than hide in her room, even going so far as to make Kasumi deliver her meals there. The eldest Tendo might not have done it save for fear that Shampoo would starve to death. Ranma wasn't behaving much better, moping around the house in a depressed state that would have done Ryouga proud. His father had actually beaten him in some of the morning sparring sessions for the first time in months, which was the main reason the two fathers had managed to drag Ranma and Shampoo out of the house on a two day training trip. At the last minute Akane decided to go with them, striking the fear of god into the group when she proudly stated she would do all the cooking for the party. That left Kasumi and Nabiki with the house to themselves. Maybe forever if Akane made good on her promise. With any luck, whatever problems existed between Shampoo and Ranma would be resolved by the time the duo returned.

As she walked down the street a new storefront caught her eye, Wayfinders's Antiques. An unusual name. Kasumi suddenly became interested in antiques and walked up to the store. She didn't have enough money to buy anything expensive, but it wouldn't hurt to browse the shop. Perhaps she would see something nice for Shampoo that would cheer her up.

Once inside, she saw the interior of the store was brightly lit and the air quite clear. So much for the idea all such stores had to have the dank, musty feeling of antiquity to them. There were no other customers in the shop, allowing Kasumi free reign within. She perused the shelves, discovering old pots, wooden dolls, dishes with pleasant designs to them, and all sorts of paraphernalia one would expect in such a store. As she cleared a set of shelves she saw a gray haired gaijin gentleman that smiled at her from behind a glass counter.

"Is there anything I can help you with Miss?" he politely inquired.

"No thank you. I'm just browsing. Is the store new? I hadn't noticed it before." Kasumi asked as she walked up to the counter.

"Just opened it today. Have to admit, I'm a bit disappointed in the turn out though. You're only the fourth person to come in. Maybe I should have put up a 'grand opening' banner or something." Wayfinder shrugged.

"I wouldn't worry about it. Once word gets around of how nice your shop is, I'm certain more people will come. It's much nicer than the last antique store that was here." Kasumi said as she examined the glass case the storeowner stood behind.

"Oh what was it's name?"

"'Needless Things', it was run by a very odd man named Mr. Lean. It folded up quickly though." She remembered how that store had always given her the creeps as she continued looking at the objects in the case.

Noticing her interest, the owner started pointing out things to her. "This is where I keep my special objects. Many of the items have are very valuable or have an unusual history to them. Take this for instance." He reached down and pulled an old scepter from the case. "This was said to have been used in one of the floating courts of a maharaja from India. I don't have a certificate of authenticity to back up the claim, however." He smiled at Kasumi.

She continued examining the contents of the case. A great many crowns, rings, and bracelets adorned the receptacle. One odd golden object in particular caught her eye. It was a small piece of gold with a particularly beautiful design to it. Again, her attention did not escape the eye of Wayfinder.

"That is an unusual piece. It's part of an object. Maybe a ring. Judging by the beautiful design, I would wager it was a signet ring. You would show it off to people to prove what family or clan you belonged to. What I know for certain about it is that it's from China, and it is very old. Over fifteen hundred years, easily. Want to see it more closely?" he reached in to show it before Kasumi could answer.

"Oh I couldn't. I'm sure it's much too expensive."

He forced the item into Kasumi's hand over her protests. "Don't be so sure. As I said, it's damaged, which reduces the price greatly."

She turned it over in her hand, looking at it from every angle. Even if she had a great deal of money, broken jewelry was not the sort of thing she would spend it on. Still, there was something eye catching about the piece. "How much did you say it was?"

"How much do you think it's worth?" he responded.

Ah. Haggling. That was why there were no prices on any of the items. Kasumi's shopping expertise gave her fair negotiating skills, but she was unfamiliar with what she should open with. "I'm no judge of antiques. Perhaps if you gave me an idea of what you were thinking of selling it for you could tell me and we could work from there."

The owner considered that. "Three hundred thousand yen."

That was far out of Kasumi's price range, just as she expected. And she had started to get her hopes up too. "I'll think about it." She turned to leave.

Wayfinder didn't want to lose the sale. "Wait! The price is negotiable."

Kasumi continued out. "Thanks anyway. So long." And left the store, depressed. It would have been nice to splurge a little for herself. Lost in thought, she felt someone jostle her as she walked along the busy street. Kasumi turned to see a short figure, no higher than her chest, walk past.

"People really are becoming more rude nowadays," Kasumi thought sadly to herself. She took notice of the figure. The person was wearing an odd set of azure robes, unlike those of a shrine maiden, or anyone else for that matter. The figure had the hood of the robes pulled over its head. The small one paused and turned in front of Wayfinder's. Just as it was about to enter, it turned to face Kasumi. From where Kasumi stood, she could only see the bottom portion of the figure's face, the upper portion covered in the shadows of the hood. At a distance, it appeared to be a young girl, no more than thirteen years of age. The oddest thing was that, despite not being able to see the girl's eyes, she could feel her looking directly at Kasumi. That was when she was overcome by the feeling she had met this girl before. So certain, in fact, that it actually disturbed her.

She shook herself out of the reverie. The girl turned back to the store and entered. Kasumi changed her direction and followed the girl. Perhaps she was the younger sister of one of her friends from high school or something. That would explain the familiarity.

As she approached the store she saw movement next to the glass door. Wayfinder had grabbed the open sign that hung from inside the door and was turning it over to the closed side. He was just finishing up when Kasumi hurriedly walked over and stood in front of the door and knocked. The man turned to face her, the unmistakable look of fear in his eyes. It appeared he was going to turn away when he abruptly changed direction and opened the door.

"What is it Kasumi Tendo?" There was a sheen of sweat along his forehead.

"I..." she trailed off for a moment. "How did you know my name?"

"You must have mentioned it to me when you first came in," he said, the look of fear remaining in his eyes.

Kasumi was certain she did not state her name, but that was secondary to the question she wanted to ask. "I want to talk to that girl that just entered your store." It was a simple enough request.

"I don't know what you're talking about. There's no girl here. Now if you'll excuse me..." he went to close the door once again.

Kasumi didn't know what to make of the man's response. She had definitely seen the girl enter. Perhaps the store owner was unaware of her presence. And why was he closing his store in the middle of the day? If Kasumi had been more aggressive she might have attempted to force her way in, but since she was not, she gave up and turned to go. That was when Wayfinder opened the door once again.

"Wait one moment!" He closed the door and rushed inside, then returned moments later bearing the piece of signet ring Kasumi had examined. "I asked you once how much you thought this was worth. I now ask you that same question again."

Kasumi shook her head. "It's much too expensive. I can't afford it."

Wayfinder appeared desperate. "That wasn't the question I asked. Let me rephrase it. How much can you afford to pay for it?"

Kasumi hesitated. The man must really be in dire straits if he was that desperate to make a sale. She grabbed the money out of her purse and quickly estimated how much cash she could spare. "Only five thousand yen."

"Sold!" he grabbed the amount from her hand and gave her the signet. He turned without another word and shut the door again, leaving the sign on the closed side.

Kasumi walked off, admiring the piece. She was so wrapped up in the bargain that she forgot the main reason she had stopped at the store. In fact, within moments she forgot about the young girl altogether.

Wayfinder slumped against his main case, grabbing the bottle of nitroglycerin pills for his heart. How had The Seer found him after all this time? It didn't matter. Rumor had it if she wanted to find you, she found you. Of course she still needed his transdimensional abilities to travel across the Great Divide, which meant she was not a god regardless of how it seemed sometimes. There were some that implied she could even be killed, not that he would ever do such a thing, even if it was in his nature. No, with any luck this would be the last occasion he would have to see her in this lifetime. Twice was quite enough, thank you very much.

The Seer had him so bent out of shape that he had almost blown it when he spoke Kasumi Tendo's proper name without having actually "heard" it. How would she react if she knew that, within the confines of the store, he knew everyone's name and understood who or what they were? No exceptions, save those that were unfathomable to his mind, like The Seer. There was also the fact The Seer wanted the youth to have the signet ring. Why she would take interest in such a mundane mortal was beyond Wayfinder, but there was no one, save Fate itself, that understood how The Seer's mind worked. Being closed for several days might be a good idea. Then he could have a grand reopening. That was a good plan, one he would act on immediately.

Kasumi spent the rest of the day in normal fashion. She cooked a meal for herself and Nabiki and cleaned up the house. Having only the two of them present made cleaning go quickly, so Kasumi used the extra time to watch television and defeat Nabiki in three straight games of Monopoly. It was beyond Kasumi why her sister got so worked up over the game. Nabiki would beat her someday. After all, she had only lost seventy two times in a row, so she was due for a win.

It was late when Kasumi lay down to go to sleep. As she pulled the covers over body, she held the signet in her hand. A feeling of peace came over her as she quickly fell asleep and began to dream...

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 14

Prophet and Loss

Any C+C is appreciated.  
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

or you can email me for previous chapters at sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I disclaim I own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and those she sold the rights to.

The characters of Oh My Goddess! are owned by someone else as well.

An alternate universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou and began sparring, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already began a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring Of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and ended up briefly engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up, Ranma became engaged to Akane. During the course of the months it was learned that there are laws against becoming a man in Shampoo's village. Subsequently Cologne has been trying to get Shampoo cured, or barring that, stand trial for becoming a man and most likely executed. Last chapter, it was revealed that an old rival of Shampoo's, Perfume, has been trying to kill Shampoo for maiming her after a duel. Ranma defeated Tarou (with an assist from Kodachi) and discovered the truth about Perfume. Feeling betrayed by Shampoo's actions and for her lying to him, the two have had a strained relationship ever since.

indicates Chinese

One Thousand and Four Hundred and Twenty Nine Years Ago:  
China:

The two opposing forces met on the Plains of Kyan' Tal. The rain poured heavily, leaving the fields covered in mud. Four elders were at the forefront of the group of women that had come directly from the village. Their group numbered close to one hundred as opposed to the group of eighty that stood across from them. Their composed features masking the fear they all felt. Things should never have deteriorated to this level. And the saddest thing of all was that all of this could have been avoided altogether. But how could anyone know the repercussions of using the Jusenkyou pools in the manner they were employed. Only now did they understand the true ramifications of their actions. Or at least some of them did. Others were not so convinced that they were a danger. Those others stood across the field watching the group that approached from the village.

A group of men watched the first group approach. They had elected to come to the plains first, as the elders had asked. The elders wanted to meet outside the village, resolving this matter away from the prying eyes of the males. The two groups faced off across from one another, ten meters apart. One man stood at the forefront of the group.

"So elders. Exactly why did you want us out here. Is it to preach further nonsense about Nanniichuan?" Ji Kwan was not amused at being dragged all the way out here

Feng Lu acted as spokesperson for the elders. "It is not nonsense you impudent pup! Your curses represent a threat to the Joketsuzoku."

One of the men behind Ji spoke up. "You're just being paranoid."

Ji waved a hand to cut the speaker off. "I will speak for us," she stated to the man. "You elders represent the old guard, unwilling to change with the times. Being able to turn into men has clear advantages to being a woman the entire time. Just because you lack the courage to change does not mean we must accede to these senseless demands."

Feng scoffed at that. "Many among our ranks are not elderly. Moreover, you are wrong. The curse does represent a threat. Have you not seen the way the males behave now? They are becoming more and more impudent and rebellious thanks to you and your 'friends'."

"The males can be made to toe the line. Being able to change into one helps ensure that." Ji responded.

"The lot of you turning into males is the problem!" Feng's frustration grew. "They no longer see you as women. They see you more as males giving orders to other males. They think you want to be men, which undermines the idea that we women are superior to them. Why should they obey us if we want to be more like them?"

"I don't give a damn what the males think," Ji scoffed. "We'll use force to keep them in line."

Feng shook her head sadly. "The Joketsuzoku will never be able to last if we have to force the males to obey. There must be some willingness to go along with us, otherwise our society will fall apart."

Ji gave a look of burning intensity at Feng, "Then maybe it's time to create a new society."

Feng's mouth dropped in shock. "Are you preaching rebellion now Ji Kwan?"

"All I say is it might be time for change." Ji turned to the group behind him. "These others want to force us to use Nyanniichuan." Ji turned to Feng. "Isn't that right?"

Feng did not like losing control of the discussion, but the weight of the events was keeping her from thinking clearly. "Yes. We do."

Ji turned back to the men he was talking to. "They want to force us into their tiny simple minded way of life. They believe we should obey them, like some kind of man. Well despite outward appearances we are not male. We are proud Amazon warriors of the Joketsuzoku, and will not prostrate ourselves before you if we have done no wrong."

Feng started to protest. "But you have..."

She was cut off by Ji. "If we had done some kind of wrong, why hasn't the matriarch said something?" A smile slowly crept across his face. "Oh. We know exactly why the matriarch hasn't said anything, don't we?" Ji continued to smirk.

Feng had a very intense urge to use one of her daggers to cut the smirk off of Ji's face. The intensity between the two groups was building, and without the matriarch to back up her words ordering the others would be difficult, but things could not be allowed to continue the way they were. Something had to be done to resolve this matter. Today. Time to put it all on the line. "You will uncurse yourselves using Nyanniichuan now, or else!"

Ji's smirk changed to a look of seriousness. "You will try to force us to do this?"

Feng allowed a chi aura to build up around her. "If need be." Everyone behind her drew weapons, with a handful letting auras glow to back up her statement. The group of men drew their weapons and allowed a handful of auras to grow in return as the two forces started moving towards one another.

Feng was concerned about this fight. True, her people outnumbered Ji's group, but many of the best warriors were amongst the group transformed by Nanniichuan, and a lot of them were very powerful. It would be a devastating battle for both sides no matter what, and the only loser would be the tribe.

Just as weapons and auras began to collide with one another a loud voice shouted out "HIRYUU SHOUTEN-HA!" causing a giant vortex of chi energy to suck up all the participants in the battle and unceremoniously drop them on their heads.

A huge man with a giant two handed sword strapped across his back stood next to the woman who had launched the all encompassing attack. A look of surprise was on his face as he turned towards her. "That was impressive. When did you learn that?"

The woman gave a wry little smile. "I made it up. Just now."

The man gave a wide eyed look of surprise. "Sometimes you scare me."

"As well I should, Matriarch." The woman continued to give her smile.

The man gave an exasperated sigh, "You know, it's all right for you to call me sister."

"Of course. I understand," she paused, "Matriarch."

Giving up, the man approached the fallen foes with his sister in tow. "All of you listen to me and listen to me well. I am matriarch of the Joketsuzoku, Su Chiang. You will obey me! Do I make myself clear!" The collected people nodded their heads in agreement, the pain from the chi attack still all too fresh in their memories.

"The tribe faces a threat far more dire than the Gray Plague. Far greater than Toth Amon and his serpent men," he allowed his voice to build up for dramatic effect. "That threat is indeed, Nanniichuan."

Voices of dissent that began from the men were quickly drowned out. "Look at yourselves. We all sisters of the Joketsuzoku, yet we very nearly began killing one another. And for what? Over a curse. And a curse is exactly what it is!"

Again voices claiming it was not a curse were spoken over again by Su as he circulated amongst the crowd. "Oh you may not think it. I didn't at first But now," his voice became much quieter, "Now I know the truth."

Su drew his giant sword. "It was always my dream to be able to handle this weapon without difficulty. I worked hard. Building up muscle and sinew, until I was the strongest one in the village." No sounds of disagreement were heard from that statement. "And when I got my curse," he emphasized that last word, "I was delighted. I could now wield it with an ease I didn't believe possible." He spun it around in his hand for effect. "I thought it didn't matter that I could turn into a man. I was wrong."

He spun and pointed the sword to indicate Feng. "Our elder is right. The men are becoming unruly and noncompliant. They rightfully believe we are trying to be more like them, and are finding our," He paused, "hypocrisy, hard to digest. And that alone is enough reason to discard the forms we now wear. But many of you would disagree with that rationale. Perhaps you would even be justified. But there is an even more compelling reason why we must discard these forms and never use Nanniichuan again." He turned towards his sister. "Someone very close to me pointed out an obvious flaw in its use. One which will definitely destroy the tribe, if it is not too late already." He paused once again, not continuing. Finally one of the men spoke up.

"What reason is that?" And Su told them.

The shock to everyone was evident. Such an obvious thing, which everyone mysteriously overlooked. All that is, save one.

Su whispered to his sister, "It's just like you said Hu. It must be the curse. To miss something so obvious..." Su trailed off in disgust as he watched the others react to the new information. Looks of pity were on the faces of many of the women, but the features of the men were almost uniform: shock.

Su listened to many voices mix together, "We have to change...I didn't know...None of us did...I want some. I can't go on like this...if I had known I would never have done it."

As though some sort of consensus was reached, the majority of men set off, only a handful were not in such a great shock that they had enough sense to bow before their leader before leaving. There was a small group that remained behind. Thirteen men, still led by Ji Kwon.

They huddled together in discussion, and after coming to an agreement, broke up and confronted the matriarch. Ji acted as spokesman once again.

"We have no desire to change back."

Su was stunned, "Didn't you hear what I said?"

"Of course. We don't care. None of us have those interests or are willing to make the sacrifice. We will remain as males." Ji looked Su in the eye in defiance.

Su returned the glare, "There can be no one cursed by Nanniichuan in the tribe. It is too disruptive."

"I disagree." Ji retorted. "As I said, I neither have interests like that nor will I sacrifice my newfound abilities because some men don't care for it."

"I order you to!" Su responded.

"You are wrong. Your reasons don't apply to any of us. Besides, I'm not the one that started this, am I?" she smirked.

A dangerous gleam entered Su's eyes. "So, you wish to change the rules so they conform to your desires. Is that it?"

Ji nodded. "They are wrong."

"Then you openly defy your matriarch." The gleam became more dangerous. "You always did want to rule. Didn't you Ji-Ji?"

"Don't call me that." Ji growled in response.

"Oh come now. I always called you that when we were growing up Ji-Ji."

"I said stop calling me that!" Ji became more and more angry.

Su ignored the declaration, "You always were jealous of my becoming matriarch. Took it away from your family and now you want it back. Is that it Ji-Ji?"

"Shut up!" Ji began to tremble in rage, but Su continued on, ignoring it.

"An attempt at rebellion? How far you have fallen Ji-Ji. Why go about this in such an underhanded manner?" A wild look entered Su's eyes. "You don't want to move behind the scenes like some spineless schemer. That's not your style. You want to stick that sword in me," He indicated Ji's falchion. "Don't you Ji-Ji?"

"I SAID STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

Su's voice remained calm, despite the increasing wildness in his eyes. "All you have to do is shut me up. Tell you what, why don't we make this interesting?" Su turned towards the elders that were looking upon the situation with growing alarm. "If Ji-Ji defeats me in battle, she becomes matriarch." He turned back towards Ji, "That's what you want. Then you can change everything just the way you like it." Su wielded her monstrous two handed sword, holding the serrated edge so Ji could be certain to see what fate awaited him. "That's assuming I don't send your guts spraying all over the ground. But then again, you always did bleed well Ji-Ji." An unmistakable psychotic gleam entered Su's eyes as he continued speaking softly,

"Come play with me Ji-Ji."

Ji Kwon answered with a drawn sword and a wild yell as he ran across the mud, intent on impaling his matriarch on the end of his falchion. Su ran forward, sword held back to strike.

Hu shook her head sadly as the two warriors met one another. For the briefest of moments, she envisioned someone else running across the field at her sister, and remembered exactly why she had removed herself from the tribe so many years ago.

One weapon moved with blinding speed as it embedded itself in the chest of the person across from it. The remaining warriors looked on impressed. Few could match the speed of Su Chiang, two-handed sword or not. Ji Kwon was not one of them.

Ji looked down at the sword buried in his chest, then turned his head far enough to look at the man who had put it there. All he managed to gurgle out was, "How..." before trailing off.

Su whispered in his ear, "Too slow by far Ji-Ji. As always." and with that, Ji Kwon died.

As Su Chiang removed his sword from the corpse, the body shifted from that of a male to a female. Su allowed a smile to form on his lips for the briefest of moments. "You see, you did give up the curse in the end." He turned to the rest of the men. "All if you who are unrepentant! Return to the Hall of Judgment and await your fate. And do not try to escape." he turned to the elders. "See to it they do not flee." They bowed before one another and turned, each on their way. Su returned to Hu's side as the two of them took a separate path back to the village.

Hu spoke first. "You allowed the 'warrior's madness' to overcome you."

Su smiled at his sister, "It's useful in situations like that."

"It's sick, senseless violence. You are more akin to an animal than a human being when in that state." Hu responded.

Su looked over his sister in an odd way. "Some of us lack your skills with the sword sister, but perhaps you are right. The gods know its gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion. Especially without you around." He chided his sister.

"I had my reasons for leaving." she answered while looking off in the distance.

"You told me a pack of lies so I wouldn't harass you about why you were leaving." He was rewarded by a surprised look from his sister. "I respected your choice. No matter how much it pained me. And now, you're back. I've missed you sister." He gave a soft look to Hu who returned the gaze.

"What will you do now?" Hu asked.

"If any of them can cure themselves, there won't be any problems. But I suspect very few will be able to remove the curse."

Hu's eyebrows shot up. "What do you mean? Why won't they get cured?"

Su's expression became one of depression. "Once you explained to me the drawbacks of the curse I set out to cure myself. I tried traveling to Jusenkyou, but couldn't find it."

"Impossible," Hu said in disbelief. "We grew up around Jusenkyou. Either one of us could find it in our sleep."

"And yet, I still couldn't find it. So I sent a warrior to retrieve some for me. She fell into Spring of Drowned Octopus." Su shook her head. "I will send no others to become cursed in some attempt to cure me. If the magic won't leave me, then it won't leave me."

"Perhaps I could..." Hu began when she was cut off.

"NO! I forbid it! Both as matriarch and as your older sister!"

"But you need to be cured." Hu protested.

"I've already got that figured out. Don't worry." The look he gave Hu informed her he was telling the truth. Su always had been a poor liar, that's why he never played games in which you had to bluff. Anyone could read his face.

The two quickly arrived at the family home it was the first time in years Hu had at long last returned to the place where she had grown up. As Su went in back while his sister examined the belongings. So few things were different. It still looked much the way she had left it. Maybe not so surprising since Su was the only one living here. As Hu was caught up in the feeling of Nostalgia, her eyes fell upon the griffin's head.

How long had it been? Twenty, no, thirty years since four young, foolish warriors set out to destroy a mythical beast that had been terrorizing lands to the south of the village. Those four made a great deal out of the quest, vowing to bring back the creature's head or not come back at all. The stupid promises only the young ever made. Still, the four of them did have many grand adventures on the journey. Nothing so impressive as to become legends spoken of among others, but they were important to the young warriors. And when they at last confronted the griffin in its lair, a climactic battle did occur. The creature proved far more intelligent than they gave it credit for, and would have killed Su if it hadn't been for Hu's sudden manifestation of her chi abilities. She used a pure blast of chi energy drawn from herself to destroy the creatures torso, and in the process was sick as a dog for a week for drawing too much of her energy in the blast. After the fight, (and the beheading) Hu had even received a gift from Su's best friend, in appreciation for saving Su's life.

Hu drew her falchion from its scabbard. It was one of a pair of family heirlooms she had been given. Now its twin lay somewhere in the mud, unless someone was thoughtful enough to pick up Ji Kwon's weapon. Tears fell from her eyes as she remembered the events from earlier in the day. Kar Yau, the other girl on the journey, died during the Serpent Men Wars, leaving only herself and Su of those that had slain the griffin.

How much things had changed, and not for the better.

Su came out from the back, after having bathed and changed into clothing appropriate for the matriarch to stand for the trial. The only thing that was unusual was that Su was still in a male's body.

"Why haven't you changed back?"

Su smiled at his sister, "I have my reasons. Get yourself cleaned up and get ready for the trial. It's important to look your best."

Hu did as indicated and returned, dressed in much better finery. The two of them set off for the trial.

"Let's take our time." Su asked his sister. "After all, it's not like they'll start without me." He gave a smile as the duo's pace slowed. "Thank you for returning."

"It's the least I could do. You are my sister." she said. "Look. We'll beat the curse. Don't worry about it."

"I'm not." Su took on a more serious tone. "You love me. Don't you?"

"Of course." what was she getting at?

"And you love the village?"

Hu had her reasons for leaving, but the citizens within Joketsuzoku were still her most cherished people. "Of course."

"Then promise me something," Su's eyes took on an almost pleading quality. "Promise me you'll stay and do whatever it takes to help the tribe. They need you. They need your wisdom and abilities."

Hu was taken aback. "You overrate me badly."

Su shook his head, "You play at being underrated. You were always better than me. You were always the best, even when holding back. Why did you never try to become matriarch?"

Hu looked down at the ground, "I did not desire the position." That was only part of the reason, but she couldn't tell him the whole truth.

"I was always jealous of you," Su's chuckled. "Jealous of my younger sister. Imagine that. Why did you have to be so good? Answer me truthfully. How many of your fights would have gone longer than a minute if you had really tried?"

"I don't know what you mean." Hu answered, evading the answer.

"You know exactly what I mean. None of them I'd wager." He shrugged. "It doesn't really matter how good you are. I am what I am regardless of that."

They continued walking a little farther when Su spoke again. "Why did you leave?"

Hu hesitated. She couldn't tell him that either.

"It had to do with me didn't it?" Su continued prodding.

"Don't be absurd!"

"You know something?" Su continued, "I may be a terrible liar, but when you get worked up, you're worse." Su paused then changed the talk back to the direction it was in before. "Will you swear to me that you will do everything in your power to help the tribe?" he softly added. "Please."

Hu could not deny him, as much as she wanted to. Being here for a prolonged period of time was the last thing in the world she needed. "I swear." she softly said.

Su's face erupted in a smile. "Good. Now here we are." The two of them had arrived at their destination without Hu realizing it. The Hall of Judgment.

The doors parted for the matriarch and her sister. It appeared ever member of the tribe was present. The warriors that had been changed and accepted their curse, like Ji Kwon, where in shackles before the elders. Su did not take his seat amongst the elders, but remained on the floor.

"My first order," he began, "is to ban all males from the hall." A rumble began from the male population about staying, but that was quickly silenced by the next order. "Any male that is within this hall after three minutes will be executed." The men rushed out.

Su took on a tone of command. "I am going to tell you what will be done with Nanniichuan. How we shall deal with it now, and how we shall deal with it in the future."

Hu shook her head. Technically Su could do this, but it would alienate the matriarch from the council, an unwise move.

"First, those of you that are unrepentant about your curses and sided with Ji Kwon in defiance of the law, will be executed." That brought a murmur of approval from the crowd. Disobeying a direct order from the matriarch frequently was as good as a death sentence.

"Secondly, Those that cannot be cured of the curse will be banished from the tribe." That brought a series of shouts from the crowd, causing Su to shout at the top of his lungs. "Listen to me citizens of the Joketsuzoku. This curse is too disruptive to ever allow anyone to have it." His speech became more impassioned, "Look at what happened today. We were at each others throats. If Hu, who really saved the day, had not arrived when she did, there would been nothing left but a field of bodies. Once word got out that the majority of our warriors were dead, we would have been destroyed. Is that what you want, the destruction if the tribe?" No one could agree with that.

"This must never me allowed to happen again. Never! You may not realize it yet, but today was the closest we have ever been to total destruction. We were almost consumed by the greatest enemy we will ever have. Ourselves." Su continued, "Those that were cursed now did not understand what being afflicted with the malady truly means. Therefore, they will be allowed to leave with honor. But from this day forward, Anyone." contempt flowed into his voice, "ANYONE, who dares become tainted by Nanniichuan, for any reason, and cannot be cured immediately, will either choose an honorable death, which I strongly approve of, or exile, and have their family accorded the dishonor." That brought another eruption from the crowd.

"LISTEN TO ME!" The crowd quieted down. "What happened today must never happen again. All traces of this curse must be wiped out. Immediately! And it must never be allowed to happen again. Which brings us to the person responsible for this entire mess."

"For the one that first became curse. For the one that embraced, rather than rejected the form they were given. For the one that so persuasively led so many others down this horrible path. For the one that nearly destroyed the tribe single handed. There can be only one punishment!"

Hu looked on, confused.

"Death." Su finished.

"What are you talking about?!" Hu erupted.

Su turned and faced his sister. "An example must be made."

"YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF!"

"Why yes," Su calmly stated, "I am." He turned back to the crowd, "Moreover, since you will be without leadership, at least temporarily, I recommend Hu Chiang to fill the role until a tournament can be held. Believe me when I say, even if it's only temporary, Hu will make a fine leader. She is smarter, more powerful, and far wiser than myself. Perhaps she will even be the leader for a long time to come."

Hu rushed over to Su's side. "You aren't thinking clearly. Take a step back."

Su used force to bring his sister closer to himself and began whispering in her ear, "It is the only way. You have always been smarter and wiser than me. You should have been matriarch."

"I don't want to lead..." Hu began but was cut off.

"Then I should have made you lead. If I cared about the tribe half as much as I professed, than I would have done everything in my power to see to it you stayed. Did you know I was a little happy you left?" That was a surprise to Hu. "I knew you could take the leadership from me if you tried. So if you were gone, you couldn't. But now I realize I am a poor leader. I allow the warriors madness to overcome me. I am violent. I always try to solve problems with a sword. My judgment is frequently...bad. You will be the leader. Promise me you will do this."

"I c...c...can't," She was cut off by Su.

"Yes you can. You don't want to. For some reason all of your life you've run away from responsibility. Ever since you were nine. I don't know what it was that changed you then, but something did. You began behaving differently around me. Before, you always tried to one up me. But after that you never competed against me in anything, including going so far as throwing fights. That ends today. You promised me you would stay with the tribe and do everything you could to help it. Well now you know what you can do."

Hu had been tricked. Su had known from the beginning this was the course he would take. That was why he referred to everything in the past tense earlier. "But I d...don't want you to die." Hu tried to protest.

Su's voice became even quieter. "I can't live with what I've done. I love the Joketsuzoku, and I nearly destroyed it through my thoughtless actions. Besides, everything I said today will ring hollow if I don't do this. And these laws must be in place if the tribe is to continue. It was our ancestors that founded the tribe. Our clan had the first matriarch. I am the first one to reclaim that title since then. Now it is your turn."

Tears filled Hu's eyes as she whispered back. "I'll be all alone." It was true. Hu's mother and two cousins fell in the Serpent Men wars. Her aunt and brother were consumed by the Gray Plague and her father fell victim to pneumonia. She and Su were the last ones of the family clan. And now it would be just her.

"Forgive me sister. If there were some other way I would do it. But there isn't." Su looked at her caringly, "Now there is one final thing I must ask of you." Hu just stared at him. "I want you to be my second."

"NO!"

"Please. I have never begged anything of you before, but I am now. I cannot bear the thought of someone else administering the final blow."

Hu nodded reluctantly, tears streaming down her face. She withdrew her falchion even as Su went to his knees and drew his short sword.

Hu threw herself into her new/old home, crying on the floor. She had no idea how long she remained there, thinking of the past, of what led up to today. It was then she stumbled upon the root of all these problems. Nanniichuan.

"I WILL DESTROY NANNIICHUAN! IT WILL END FOREVER! TODAY!" she railed towards the heavens.

"You don't want to do that." A voice quietly spoke from the doorway.

Hu turned to see her. The girl from her childhood. The girl she had met when she was nine. The azure robed thirteen year old whose face remained masked in shadow. The reason she went on to leave Joketsuzoku.

Hu grabbed a knife that had been sitting on one of the tables and rushed forward to the girl. The youth made no protest as she was thrown against the wall and the blade pressed against her throat.

"You are the one responsible for this! It's all your fault!" At that moment, Hu's eyes bore the same anger Su's had before the fight with Ji Kwon.

"I did nothing but tell you what would happen." the girl's voice remained steady and neutral.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you." Hu pressed the blade against the skin. Any more pressure would break it.

"Because it would change nothing. If I fall another would take my place. And if he falls than another, and another. I am nothing more than a messenger. The message will travel on without me. So go ahead, do it." she began goading some more, "Do it.

Hu gave a little whimper, then threw the blade into a wall and slumped into a chair. "I knew I couldn't do it. I'm weak."

The girl straightened herself out. "I knew you wouldn't do it as well. You aren't a stone cold murderer. Just a magnificent killer. As to your weakness, remember, you are flesh. And all flesh is weak."

Hu just sat there, staring off into space. "Why did you do it?"

"I did nothing but tell you the truth." The Seer stated, "I told you that you would rule the Joketsuzoku over your sister's dead body, and I was right." The Seer noticed Hu shudder at the declaration.

"Why did she have to die?" Hu began weeping some more.

"Because she was born. All things that are born die." She paused for a moment. "Most things." She shook her head, "Be thankful. This was the pleasant way things turned out. If I hadn't informed you of what would happen, you would have been the leader and your sister would have taken Ji Kwon's place. The result would have been you killing Su in combat."

"I would never do something like that," Hu said quietly.

"You would be surprised what the burden of leadership can force people to do."

Hu looked up at her, "Are you telling me the future again?"

"The future is a hard thing to predict. It's like a road. Most of it is smooth and only one long course to travel down, that is until you come upon a fork in the road. Then one of two things is likely to happen. Sometimes the road swings back onto a course it was on earlier. Or sometimes it goes down a totally different path from the original. The farther away you are from the beginning of one path, the more difficult it is to predict where it will take you. There are likelihood's but no definite answers. I shall be generous and give you an example."

"In the far off distant future, I see a woman sitting upon a brightly colored throne made of crystal, ruling over a Utopia called Crystal Tokyo. All is good in this world. Her name is Queen Serenity."

"At the same time I see a woman sitting upon a dark throne made of skulls, ruling over a Hell called Obsidian Tokyo. All is evil in this world. Her name is Queen Pandemonium."

"Both are the same woman, Usagi Tsukino. Either future is equally likely to occur. Or neither one. It depends on what path fate takes." The Seer paused. "Your path is much nearer and has few forks in the road. So here is what I will tell you. If you try to destroy Nanniichuan, you will fail and the Joketsuzoku will be destroyed within the next ninety years. If you try to destroy Nanniichaun, your sister's sacrifice will be for nothing. That is the definite future."

Hu stared at her through tear filled eyes. "Why is Nanniichuan so important to you?"

"Nanniichuan means nothing to me, but understand this. Jusenkyou is far greater than you could possibly imagine. It dwarfs you and your village. Never doubt that." and with that The Seer departed, leaving Hu Chiang in mourning.

Interlude  
Two Devils

The present.  
Japan

The man covered in black approached the remains of the ancient temple. An eight foot massive stone giant trailed behind him, looking over the remains of what was once a building. The man in black began speaking.

"People have been complaining for centuries about the number of snakes that live in this area. How surprised they would be to discover the cause of it."

Snakes began to pour into the remains of the ancient temple. The man in black continued. "Your loyalty to your mistress serves you well reptiles. Even if it was your ancestors long past that obeyed her commands."

Snakes by the hundreds poured into the temple. "Which of you are willing to sacrifice yourselves for your ancient mistress." His hand pointed to a snake. "You!" The snake obeyed and slithered over to the spot where the man in black indicated.

"Now you." A second snake now went to the same spot. As it came into contact with the first snake, the two merged becoming one larger snake. Others began to make their way over and melded with the original two. Hundreds of snakes merged, becoming one huge ten foot snake wider than a man.

"You are ready." The robed man raised his hand and two streams of energy, red from the right and blue from the left, emitted from his fingertips. The blue stream gripped the snake's head while the red shot up and down the snake, causing it immense pain. As the red streams moved up and down the snake's body, it would become slightly transparent during bright flashes. At first nothing could be seen. But as the seconds passed a figure began to form within the images.

"What is that?" The stone man asked.

"Your old associate from a time long since past." The man responded.

The energy cascaded the snake for another minute, then stopped. The reptile had long since ceased moving, and was now charred black on the outside. Suddenly, there was movement from under the snake's skin. It undulated back and forth, until at last part of the skin ripped away. A human hand reached through the opening and forced itself through the rent in the exterior. Another hand emerged and the two pried open the skin, allowing a beautiful Japanese woman, quite naked, to pull herself out of its reptilian womb and into the night air.

"It is her." The giant confirmed.

The woman turned to the sound of the voices.

"Welcome back, mistress of the snakes," the man in black proclaimed.

End Interlude

One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Nine Years Ago.  
Eighty Years after Su Chaing's death:

The Amazons watched as the massive pillar of blue energy dissipated in the night air. Hu lowered her arms and moved back from the edge of the mountainside the Amazon troops had been entrenched on. It had been the ideal ground from which to defend themselves against the T'ang's army.

It had been an unnecessary precaution.

All of the warriors paled at the event they just saw occur before their eyes. None would forget it as long as they lived. Many of them moved away from the matriarch in fear as she strode back to her tent. Some remained giving prayers to the dead, while one of the younger one's even went so far as to run away. Another had the courage to speak in awe directly to Hu.

"What was that?"

The Matriarch stared at her curiously for a moment, then answered. "I call it Doom. I made it up. Just now." As Hu left, the warrior took note of the fact the matriarch's arms were now covered in blood, despite never having been attacked.

The honor guards around her tent parted as Hu entered her temporary home and slumped in a wooden chair. A flimsy thing, not surprising considering all of the material had to be transported so high in the mountains. She at last took notice of the blood on her arms. No cut produced that, at least not a visible one. Perhaps it was a sign of the wound her soul now bore, but more likely it was a side effect of the chi attack she had just used. Even as she moved to grab a towel to wipe off her arms when she was wracked by the first feeling of pain. So intense was it that she was knocked to the ground and writhed in silent agony. All perception of time was lost until the pain passed. But even as it did, Hu felt it still hovering there, almost as though it were a snake waiting to strike. As she got shakily to her feet she felt the urge to drink. That had been her crutch for so many years, ever since Su's death. She began scanning the tent when her eyes fell upon the new occupant standing before her. She hadn't appeared in eighty years, but one would not be able to tell from her appearance. She had not changed at all. The matriarch showed no shock at that fact. There were no surprises left for Hu Chiang.

"It has not been long enough Seer." If The Seer took notice of the comment she didn't acknowledge it. Hu continued, "Have you come to celebrate with me and the Amazons for our great victory just now? It was a tremendous battle. Nearly twenty five thousand deaths by my reckoning."

"Twenty nine thousand nine hundred and twenty two." The Seer informed her.

Hu paled. "That many. Even more than I thought." Some color returned to her face after a few moments. "It is one for the records to be certain. Perhaps I could write a book like Sun-Tzu. Yes?"

"You will write no books." The Seer informed her.

"Too bad." No regret was in the voice. At least not regret about that. "Have you come to take my soul to hell?"

"I lack the keys to the gates of either Heaven or Hell. A can neither damn nor elevate anyone." The Seer said

"It was just a joke," Hu said. "Forgive my manners. I am being a poor hostess. Perhaps some wine..." White hot shards of agony lanced through Hu once again as she went to the ground. There was too much pain to even scream, so she simply lay there in silent agony. Eventually the feeling passed as Hu managed to shakily regain her footing.

"Too much power. Either that or it is the souls of the damned trying to claim my own soul. There are enough of them to do it now, I think." Hu finally managed to grab a bottle of wine and pour some of the liquid into a glass, downing it in one gulp.

"You will not live to see the next sunrise." The Seer informed her.

Hu's eyes were distant. "Well, good. It's about damn time." The bitterness was thick in her voice. "I only wish this day would have come sooner. Say, eighty years ago." She poured herself another glass and repeated her earlier action.

"If you seek pity from me you will not receive it," The Seer told her, voice remaining neutral. "Your actions this day have ensured the survival of the tribe for the next one thousand years, at least."

Hu seemed to soften a bit at that. "Well, that's good. At least someone got something out of this." She poured herself another glass, but as she raised it to her mouth she began to shake uncontrollably. The glass fell to the floor as she was wracked with sobs. "Oh Deity. I killed them. All of them."

"They would have killed you and forced you to prostrate yourselves before them." The Seer explained. "They were here to conquer you."

"You didn't kill them! I DID!" Hu continued trembling. "Believe me, you have no idea what it's like! I watched them die by my hand! I am responsible! I snuffed out twenty nine thousand lives in the blink of an eye!" Her own life seemed to leave her as she stopped shaking and sagged into her chair. "You once called me a 'magnificent killer'. I hated you for that, but you were right. Who could have done what I did today?" She stood up and stormed over to The Seer "NO ONE! THAT'S WHO! JUST ME! HU CHIANG! THE GREATEST KILLER THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!"

She calmed down again. "There's a saying 'May you live in interesting times'. Well I certainly have. I only wish I hadn't. People will sing about me for ages for what I did to all our enemies. So many of them. Her voice drifted off in memory. "The surrounding villages that tried to conquer us. The Blood Weeper and his minions. The Titans and their insane plan to destroy all of China. The Musk and their failure." That one in particular struck her. "How long do you think it will be before they forgive me for sticking the heads of their royal family on a pike outside their castle?" She answered for herself. "Probably never. Who would blame them? Oh, I know it was in self defense. It was always in self defense. It doesn't matter. I'll always be known as a 'magnificent killer' to the world. And you know what the most ironic thing is?"

"Yes." The Seer said.

"I'm going to say it out loud anyway, for my own benefit, she retorted as she downed another glass of wine. "I never wanted any of it. I abhor violence. I hated the fact I was born in a village that put such importance on combat. I was an aberration, not just to my family, but to my people. All I ever wanted was to raise a family and study the art. I never wanted to use the art to hurt anyone, I just wanted to master it." Her eyes took on a far off cast. "It can be so beautiful, especially manipulating the chi. It's so," She trailed off, "I can't describe it, but it is elegance."

Her words began filling with self-loathing. "And what do I use it for? Killing. Killing and more killing. I have literally made rivers of blood flow using my abilities. Fist! Sword! Chi! Words! All instruments of death in my hands. That was why I ran away from the village, to flee from the violence and bloodshed as much as to avoid killing Su, and now I find myself waist deep in it." She turned toward the heavens as tears filled her eyes again. "Was it so much to wish for? Peace. A family. Happiness. That was all I wanted." she knew what the answer was. "Instead, I have no family. No peace. No happiness. I have become that which I hated the most."

Her voice became faint. "It's not my fault I'm so talented at killing. I was just born that way." Her form was once again wracked by even more intense pain. It took everything she had not to throw up.

"Is this the pain of dying?" she asked The Seer as she recovered. "Is it from calling to much chi from myself to destroy them?"

The Seer let a smile come to her lips. "You think you did all that by yourself? I didn't realize you were that arrogant."

Hu was confused. "What do you mean? I'm the one that killed them. With the power I was wielding I could have destroyed an army three times that size."

"And when were you ever able to summon that much power?"

Hu thought about it. "The nature of the attack draws from the wielder, the victims, and even the latent power in the land. That was why..." and that was when she realized what point The Seer was making. She manipulated enough power to level an army three times that size. The majority of the chi was from the army itself, but the size of the effect would have been directly proportional to the size of the army. Only those that had the ability to control their chi could keep the attack from drawing any from them. Even if there were many soldiers that could control their chi, (an impossibility. Very few knew how to do it and they mostly kept that knowledge from others) it would have lessened the effect, not added to it.

Where had the extra come from? Some of the additional amount would have come from her, and she was the most powerful chi channeler she had ever known. Still, it would have added no more than a fiftieth to the total effect. At most. Which meant the additional energy would have come from the land itself. She had done it many times in small amounts, but it was always risky. It had to go directly through the summoned, which sort of acted like a sluice for the energy, and could easily overload you if you lost control, even for a second. The more you drew the more difficult it was to control, and the more likely you would destroy yourself. And at certain high amounts it would destroy you no matter how effectively you manipulated it.

She knew the amount of chi she drew from the land should not have produced the effect that had happened. Nowhere near that. It was just not possible. It was difficult to remember just how much she had received. There was such a tremendous amount she was using that she knew she might kill herself anyway. That was one of the reasons she never practiced the technique. She knew from the beginning it was likely to kill her. Hu was not even certain it would have worked until it did.

The amount of chi one could get off the land was directly proportional to how much you could control. The better the control, the more area you could use. And the amount in the land had always been uniform. There were no hot spots she had ever discovered. Yet. She forced her mind to go over in minute detail every moment of the attack. As much as it pained her. Her mind searched for the time she summoned the land itself to lend its latent energy...

and that was when she remembered it. A chill ran down her spine as she realized what had happened. There was a source.

"And that source is displeased that you interfered with it." The Seer spoke, as though reading Hu's mind. "It will come seeking you. But I believe you will be dead by then. Fortunately. You used too much chi, Hu. The amount you manipulated would have consumed you anyway, even if you hadn't tapped into the source. It will just happen more quickly. That attack will always kill a mortal that tries to use it. Even a 'magnificent killer' such as yourself. So rest easy Hu, for tonight you die." The Seer left the same way she came in.

Hu's mind reeled. It was the end. That was certain, and she had much to do. A plan formed itself immediately. She emerged from the tent and spoke to a guard. "Summon everyone to the center of the encampment. Quickly!"

It took only a matter of moments to gather everyone up into the center. No one wanted to risk angering the matriarch after what she displayed this night. Hu stood atop several boxes and spoke to the almost two hundred of warriors present. She paused to take the scene up. It would be the last time she would see them, the people she led for so long. After the Nanniichuan fiasco she had actively recruited women to take the place of those missing, all but twelve of the original woman had remained cursed and ended up exiled. So few that were recruited actually managed to fill the roles that were lost. It would take at least another generation to recover from the damned curse of the spring.

She had led them on so many campaigns. It really was a miracle that any were here at all. Each challenge she had met as matriarch could have doomed the tribe. And their foes became more and more powerful each time. Yet she had prevailed, fighting for everyone of her warriors. Every time one fell a small piece of her died with them. She was so happy when fewer and fewer of them died. True, she would burden herself more and more with each new foe, with each new battle, she would be the one doing most of the killing. But it was worth it if it kept even one more of her warriors alive. She may have despised warfare, but she cared for those that she was responsible for. In a way, they were her family. If only it had been her own instead of one foisted upon her. Now she would be dying, and the "family" would have to take care of itself. She prayed they could.

She brought herself back to the present and told the Amazons what she wanted. "Listen to me my sisters. You will never speak a word of what happened tonight." That caused a commotion, which Hu quickly cut off. "If anyone asks you, a Mongol horde swept in from the north and ravaged the army. We attacked as well, but the majority of the day was carried by those foreigners." She cut of further sounds again. "DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? SWEAR IT TO ME, OR ELSE!" Every warrior, right down to the elders that were present, assented. "Very well. Elder Yang. Come to my tent. And bring your bag with you. I have need of your magic. The rest of you. Depart. There is nothing for us here, so we set off at dawn." and with that she jumped off the box and returned to her tent followed by her bodyguards. They had to keep quiet about the attack. If any powerful person learned it was a chi attack they would come to the village to seek it. And without Hu there they would never be able to find it.

She looked over her guards as she departed, searching for one in particular. Her eyes settled upon Rianna del Silva, the daughter of a woman from a far off land called Italy. The Amazons had rescued the mother from caravan that had been attacked by raiders. Apparently some traders from those lands had believed there was great treasure to the East and set a course for China. Things had gone perfectly until the raiders attacked, leaving Rianna's mother the only one alive. The woman was pregnant with Rianna at the time and the tribe adopted both as full fledged members of the Joketsuzoku. The mother was intelligent and enjoyed living in the tribe, helping anyway she could, though a warrior she was not. Rianna grew up knowing only the tribe as her own. Despite her obviously foreign appearance she was never treated differently from any other of the members. In many ways, she felt like a daughter to everyone, and Hu had overheard Rianna mentioning how she might set off to see her mother's homeland. A very good idea. Rianna was bright enough that she just might make it.

Hu told the woman to enter the tent so they could speak in private. "Rianna. Gather together a dozen of the most sensible good warriors you know. Every one of them must be honest. I want people that would sooner die than break their word. I want people that can think on their feet and feel like traveling for a long time. Make sure they aren't married. Do you understand what sort of people I'm looking for?" Rianna nodded, a smile growing on her face. She thought she knew exactly what the Matriarch meant, and excitedly rushed off. Just as she exited Elder Yang appeared, her satchel of magical items in hand.

"I require the scrying crystal. Leave it with me and depart. I will return it when I am finished." Yang set down the crystal and departed. As soon as she was out the door another attack paralyzed Hu for close to five minutes. The attacks were getting worse and there wasn't much time left. She quickly sat down, pulled out several magical scrolls and a quill, then placed the crystal before her eyes. The magic of the crystal would distort the writing so only a wielder of the crystal could decipher the text written under it. To others it would be meaningless gibberish. After it was used, the only way anyone could read it would be with the crystal.

Hu paused for a moment. Should she do this? There was so much risk to the world if the knowledge fell into the wrong hands. And what if the wrong hands belonged to the Joketsuzoku? She couldn't refuse do it. The knowledge should not be lost for all time. This would be her legacy to the world. She was the grandmaster of chi manipulation. No one had ever thought to use it the way she did, or if they did use it in the fashion she did, she could teach them how to refine the technique and use it better.

She had already taught the elders how to slow down their aging to the point where they could live hundreds of years. And the better the control they had, the longer they could live, although none of them had learned how to keep from shrinking as they got older. Hu had tried to educate them, but they never seemed to quite be able to grasp what she tried to teach them. She was a living example of what could be done. In eighty years she appeared to have aged five, at the most, and the majority of that was done early on. Now she had almost perfected it. By her approximation she would have been able to live for eight hundred years. And that was not taking into consideration the fact that she got better with each year. There was no telling how long she would have been able to live, until today.

There were other techniques she had taught, but the majority of the most dangerous ones she had kept from the others, waiting until she had found the right people to teach. Now she had run out of time. She spent the better part of two hours writing, suffering through three more attacks. At last she finished the final scroll and bound them together. She then took some of the melted wax and used it to seal them together. She then placed her signet ring into the wax and spoke the words of power.

"Let no one, save a true daughter of the Joketsuzoku or one of her direct descendants, be able to break the seal on these parchments. I bind this with a drop of my blood, to make the contract true." And with that, she cut her finger with a knife and let a drop of blood land on the ring, then observed it end up absorbed by the wax. The magic worked.

She placed the scrolls into an ornate case and ushered the Amazons that had been picked by Rianna inside. She looked them over. All of them, save one, were young. And all of them had demonstrated intelligence in the field. They would serve nicely.

"Warriors. I have need of you to set out on a mission one last time for the tribe. One which will take you forever from your home." Everyone riveted their attention to Hu. "This box contains within it information that must be stored away for safe keeping. It involves what happened tonight. So, you understand what information is within this box, and what a danger it could represent to the world?" The warriors all nodded soberly. Good choices indeed. "This knowledge must be far from our lands, lest someone try to strip these secrets from us. That is why I want you to take this information and carry it as far away from here as you can. You will travel to Rianna's mother's land, and from there, find a place far from prying eyes. Now do you understand why I tell you this is the last mission you will do for us?" All of them nodded.

"Good. You must destroy this box rather than allow it to fall into the wrong hands. Do you understand?" The warriors nodded. "You may not ever, under any circumstances, open this box. It must only be done from a member of the tribe that is from here. Swear to me neither you nor your ancestors will try to open this box." The collected warriors swore an oath. "Then take the box, what supplies you need, and set out tonight. And from this point onward, Rianna is in charge." Rianna bowed her head in gratitude at being given such an important task. "Leave me." The Amazons departed as Hu sat back in her chair. She felt the next attack building, knowing it would be the last one.

In the heavens:  
At the same time:

"Father, isn't there something we can do?" The beautiful white haired kami asked.

"THAT CANNOT BE. YOU KNOW THE RULES. SHE HAS DONE TOO MUCH," a voice from above replied.

"But she didn't want to do it. If she hadn't, her people would have been wiped out," the kami said.

"SHE ALWAYS HAD A CHOICE."

"She was just a victim of Fate," the kami answered softly.

"WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERNED URD? COULD IT BE SHE REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE?"

Urd remained silent as she gazed back upon the pool that was being used to watch the events at the scene below.

After a pause the voice spoke again. "VERY WELL. SHE WILL BE GRANTED A WISH. BUT NOT BY YOU."

Urd began to smile. "Thank you Father. Who will be chosen?"

"HER." the scene within the pool shifted to reflect The Seer as she made her way down the mountain.

"You can't be serious! She'll never grant Hu a wish!"

"I HAVE SAID ALL THAT WILL BE DONE ON THE MATTER."

"Father..." Urd began.

"ENOUGH URD!"

That was it. Urd knew when he spoke to her in that tone it was over. She stared helplessly at the pool, and with a sigh, entered the clear waters.

The Seer was journeying to the next destination when the kami slowly broke the surface of a nearby pool. She observed Urd fully leave the water and walk over to her.

"Well Urd. This is a surprise. How many centuries has it been?" The Seer asked, the faintest hint of emotion leaking through her voice.

"I've come to ask you a favor."

The Seer was startled by that, but quickly regained her composure. "A favor? From me? The kami must be desperate indeed."

"It's not like that," Urd said. "It's about Hu."

"You've come to the wrong person then," The Seer shook her head, "I'm just a messenger. Now if you'll excuse me. I have somewhere I must get to and I'm not given much time to get between destinations." She turned to go.

"You can grant Hu a wish." Urd saw The Seer stop as though struck by a shot, then spun to confront Urd.

"Me? Grant a wish? HAHAHAHA! That's the first laugh I've had in ages Urd. Thank you."

Urd wished she could look into the eyes of The Seer to see what she really thought, but that was denied even her. "It's not a joke. It's for real."

"Then that makes it even more amusing," she gave a derisive snort. "The idea that I would grant someone else a wish, that is irony at its highest form."

Urd knew this would happen. "Have you forgotten what it means to be mortal Shier..."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! NEVER CALL ME BY THAT NAME!" Urd was shocked by the rage in the girl. "That person died the instant The Seer was born! If you just tried to appeal to my humanity you failed miserably." She paused for a moment, then continued. "Not that I have any left anyway. Don't think I'm like you Urd. I'm not. I am a mortal bound in immortal flesh, and we both know why!"

Urd dropped to her knees as tears began falling down her cheeks. She was failing Hu, and the memory of her time with The Seer pained her just as much. She wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind other than a plea. "Please."

Urd was shocked to feel a finger gently play itself against her face. "The tears of a kami." Urd looked up to see The Seer had one of the drops on her fingertips, examining it. The robed girl continued speaking softly. "Who would have thought I still had it in me?" She allowed the tear to fall to the ground.

The Seer turned to look back at the Amazon encampment, then pivoted to look at Urd. "Never ask me any favor again. Do you understand?"

Urd managed to shake out of her disbelief long enough to answer. "Yes."

The Seer's lips pursed ever so briefly. "Good." She then turned back to the encampment. "I grant Hu Chiang the wish that, in the next life, she need never raise her hand in violence, nor have such a hand raised against her." The Seer turned back to Urd. "I'm giving her the option of free choice. She has the ability to behave in a violent manner or get in the way of violence, but she will never be the target without provocation. And as far as a family is concerned, she's on her own. Also," she warned, "she can wait a millennium or two for it. Let her simmer for a while."

A bright beam of light encircled The Seer as the wish was sent to the heavens for approval, and granted. Once the light disappeared, The Seer set off on her original path. Urd broke out of her happiness long enough to stare at The Seer's departing form. "Thank you Seer." Sadness began taking the forefront as Urd realized how painful granting the wish must have been for the girl. "And I'm sorry for what happened so many years ago."

The Seer turned her head towards Urd, the sound of irritation in her voice. "Oh stop it with the self pity. It doesn't suit you at all. You had nothing to do with what occurred. We were both victims of Fate." She turned back in the direction she had been heading towards and began running. "I have to get going now. There was enough time wasted here, and I cannot be late." The Seer hadn't gone too far when she felt a pair of hands reach under her arms and lift her off the ground.

"Ever fly like a bird Seer?" Urd said as she took off, bearing the girl in flight. "It's the only way to travel."

"Good." The Seer hurmphed. "You cost me enough time as it is."

The duo flew onward into morning.

That night every Amazon in the encampment that had managed sleep had a horrible nightmare of a cloud of darkness with red orbs, like eyes, descending upon them, searching for something. The last thing they felt before the cloud left was the sound of frustration, as though it had failed in its search.

Five months later:  
Peking:

Hwa Lau, chief advisor to the emperor, had had another busy day. Why the emperor insisted upon joining the army in it's conquest of the western territories was beyond him. No, that wasn't true. He bore some personal grudge against one of the villages out there and wanted to witness it first hand. If only some word would come from the army. The last set of messengers were a week overdue, and that worried Hwa. Long distance communication was so chancy, anything might have happened to the messengers. There was too much lawlessness between here and there. Unifying the empire was certainly what needed to be done. A small disruption in one of the entryways caught Hwa's attention.

He approached the corridor and noticed several guards talking adamantly amongst themselves. There was a slender white haired man among them. The man set his eyes upon Hwa and rushed forward.

"HWA! My friend. Praise to the Gods you are here. Some of my men don't recognize me."

Hwa was outraged. How dare this wild eyed man presume to be familiar with him and call him his friend. If he had a friend like the skinny man then he would certainly remember him, and what was he saying about the guards being his men? They were the emperor's...

and that's when Hwa got a good look at the white haired man's face. When he left, his hair had been black and he had weighed a good twenty pounds heavier, and exhuded a calm controlled confidence. He had changed so much in such a short amount of time it was no wonder some of the emperor's guards didn't recognize their leader.

"My god! What happened to you?" Hwa was so surprised he forgot the proper way to address the emperor.

If the emperor noticed, he gave no indication of it. He clutched his advisor with the grip of a madman and spoke. "I saw it Hwa! I saw the demonfires the witches of the Joketsuzoku wield. They made a pact with the devil himself. They consumed my army with a blue fire of death. It only took a moment and it destroyed my entire army. I saw their flesh burn away from my vantage point. It was horrible."

Hwa wasn't quite sure what to make of the emperor's ramblings. Nothing could destroy thirty thousand men in an instant. The emperor continued his rant.

"And I felt their demon come at me in my dreams. It sought out my soul, I'm sure. But it didn't find me. It was like a black cloud with burning red eyes that tried to consume me. It was pure malevolence and hatred." The emperor regained some of his composure. "The Joketsuzoku must never be bothered again. There must be no dealings with them. No attempts at conquering. Nothing. They must be left alone lest their powers destroy all of China. This is my command. Get the law writers now!"

Hwa walked off, confused beyond measure. The emperor had returned alone. If what he said was true, as impossible as it seemed, perhaps the Amazons should be left alone. They really were very small and out of the way, and they never caused any problems that affected the empire. So maybe it would be best to leave such a law on the books, but quietly. Just so long as it didn't become widespread common knowledge. No point in giving the world cause to believe the mighty T'ang Dynasty was afraid of one little village in the middle of nowhere. Hwa could word the law so some reason other than fear was why the Amazons should be left alone.

Nineteen Years Ago:  
Nerima, Japan:

The man walked down the hallway to see his beautiful child. The delivery had taken a while and his wife was resting, still under the effect of a sedative. He couldn't wait to lay his eyes upon the darling daughter he had been blessed with. It was hard to say whether or not this or his wedding day was the more joyous occasion.

As he arrived at the viewing room he saw a beautiful white haired woman with an odd style of clothing making faces against the observation glass. The clothing she wore was very revealing in certain spots, making him wonder if maybe it was somewhat inappropriate wear for visiting a hospital. The woman turned and looked at the man.

"Hi there. Come to look at the babies?" Urd asked.

"Yes I have."

Urd ushered him over and pointed out a particular child to him. "All the babies are beautiful, but that one over there is the cutest." She indicated a little girl in one of the beds.

The man's joy tripled. "I couldn't agree more. You see, that little girl is mine!" he beamed a smile at Urd, who suddenly had a look of concern on her face.

Urd began circling around the man, looking at him at every angle as though judging a thoroughbred race horse. She even went so far as to pry open his mouth and examine his teeth. After releasing him she smiled. "You'll do nicely. Congratulations!" She started slapping him on the back, hard.

He gasped as the wind got knocked out of him. "Thanks," he managed to get out. "I think."

"Well I have to be going. Just wanted to check on a promise an old friend made. Good luck," and with that she turned and left.

"What an unusual girl," he mumbled, then turned back and pressed his face against the glass. The woman was right. None of the children were as beautiful as little Kasumi.

The Present  
Nerima, Japan.

Nabiki's door burst open. She sat up bolt upright as the sound awakened her. She managed to make out Kasumi form through sleepy eyes as her elder sister rushed in and grasped her.

"Oh Nabiki. I just had a terrible nightmare. I dreamt that I didn't have a family and..." she paused, voice dropping to a whisper. "and I did some terrible things."

Nabiki was more than a little startled by this. Never in her life could she remember her sister coming to her in an emotional uproar. It had always been the other way around. Even her father sometimes, well frequently, needed calming down by her sister. And here was Kasumi, hugging her in a near backbreaking embrace. Nabiki allowed a smile to come across her lips. Time to start repaying her old debts.

"It'll be all right Sis. It was only a dream." Nabiki returned her sister's embrace, much more lightly though.

"But it seemed so real. It was more detailed than any dream I've ever had." Kasumi continued to shudder for a few moments until the dream started to drift away, buried by the present. Eventually, she calmed down enough to let go of Nabiki.

"Sorry I behaved that way. You must think I'm being silly. It's just the dream made me realize how precious you all are to me." Kasumi gave a caring look to Nabiki, which was returned by her sister.

"I love you too. I know I don't show it much, but you're important to me as well." Nabiki thought for a moment. "Want to sleep in here?"

Kasumi shook her head. "Oh my! No. We're much too old for that sort of thing."

Nabiki waved off the protest. "We're family. Besides, I remember right after Mom died I seemed to end up in your bed a lot. It always made me feel better. So now it's my turn to comfort you. Just don't tell anyone, okay Wouldn't want my reputation for ruthlessness to be tarnished, would we?"

Kasumi agreed and settled in next to Nabiki. It was odd, but comforting, just as Nabiki had said. Kasumi relaxed a little and drifted off to sleep. The piece of the ring bearing the crest of the Chiang clan still in hand.

Epilogue

The Present:  
Another dimension:

The Grand Hall was overflowing with three thousand spectators and guards. Rarely in the history of the Empire of the Five Comets had there been such a spectacle such as this. The people needed it, especially considering how badly the war was going. The Baron Darzine and Lord Alderan were at the forefront of the giant opening, which would be where the access portal would open a rift in the Great Divide. She was coming, at least if the prophecy still held true, and many would be seeing her for the first time.

Darzine examined the open path that the Imperial Guards had left for the travel of the guest. A thousand members of the elite corps were hand picked to be guards today, leaving no chance anyone would get in the way. Once she arrived, the guest would be taken from here directly to the stone chambers of the Prophecy Room where she would reassure them the prophecy was still intact. It had to be intact. All the hopes of the Empire of the Five Comets rested almost solely on it. Without it, the Empire was dead.

A swirling luminescent glow highlighting a thousand galaxies came into focus in the middle of the empty space where the Great Divide opened up. Even as the swirling vortex grew to the size of a hundred feet before stabilizing, it was still quite a sight to behold. One never grew tired of looking into infinity. Darzine's eyes fell upon the azure robed girl, face shrouded in shadow, as she emerged from the swirling vortex, unaffected by the travel. Even after all the years she remained unchanged, still appearing as a thirteen years old girl.

There was a collective gasp as The Seer came fully into the Grand Hall. Darzine and Alderan bowed before her in respect. She acknowledged their presence and indicated they should rise. Both did so.

The trio began their journey to the chambers when Alderan spoke up. Darzine tried to explain to the man why it would be better for them to wait until they arrived at chambers, but the lord could not delay.

"The prophecy Seer?" he asked.

"The prophecy is in jeopardy. An unlikely event has occurred, and the Shogun has not only survived, but begun to move. It is now unlikely that the Protector will come into existence, which means the savior is doomed."

"Isn't there something we can do?" Alderan pleaded.

"Pray that when the opportunity for change happens, another unlikely event occurs. But don't hold your breath." And with that The Seer went to the Prophecy Rooms. No more predictions for a little while, at least until the opportunity for change passed.

Special Thanks to  
Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Kevin R. Wible  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	15. Sins of the Past III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Perfume trilogy comes to a close.

Prologue

Shinya cleaned out the yak cage next. Oh what joy his job had become, cleaning out animal pens for a living. This was so beneath him. All he ever wanted to do was conquer the world. At first he tried it as a criminal mastermind. They said he was too stupid. So he tried doing it as a charismatic leader. They said he had the charisma of a village idiot. Deciding he had too much of a moral code to become a politician, he traveled to America and attempted to go through the ranks as a flunky by joining a henchmen academy, but the Taskmaster said he had no talent to even be that. So he went back home and took this job, silently praying he'd be spilled with some toxic chemicals or come across a magic artifact to give him super powers.

He silently decided it was time for lunch, sat down, and pulled out a thermos of soup. Just as he was about to begin, the sloth in the cage he was next to began growling and shaking its bars. "What you want boy?" The sloth became more agitated and reached its paw forward towards the thermos.

"Oh. You smell the food and are hungry." He began speaking more slowly, as though talking to a child. "Sorry. That's my dinner."

The sloth continued to reach forward, making odd gestures with its paws. Shinya moved farther away and sighed, "You're not allowed to have hot liquids, though they didn't tell me why." He snickered, "Maybe you're really some kind of weird sloth they experimented on to give powers beyond that of an average sloth."

The sloth nodded its head, causing Shinya to jump up. "By the Kami! You do understand!" The sloth nodded again. "I knew Dr. Moroeu was up to something. Does hot soup give you your super powers?" The sloth considered this, then nodded its head. "Well here you go." He handed it the soup, which it promptly dumped on its head, triggering the change.

"WOW! You're a not a sloth, you're a genie," Shinya stated, dumbfounded.

The naked pink haired girl curled her finger and motioned for him. "Come closer and let me give you your wish."

He did as he was bade.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 15

Sins Of The Past III

All C+C is appreciated.  
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Or you can email me at sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I disclaim I own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters. They were created by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.  
Don't own the Tenchi-Muyo people either.

An alternate universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic) In the beginning, the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Drowned Young Man later we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and accidentally got engaged to Kasumi. Once that was cleared up, Ranma became engaged to Akane. On the first day of school water and confusion mixed leaving everyone there believing Shampoo-kun is Ranma and Ranma-chan is Shampoo. Eventually it was learned that if an Amazon becomes male it is a crime by the tribal laws. Cologne wants to cure Shampoo, or barring that, take her to China for trial and execution. Mousse went to Jusenkyou and is on his way back with a plan of his own, and Perfume, an old rival of Shampoo's, managed to track her down and has been trying to kill her to settle an old score. Twice they fought. The first time Shampoo lost and revealed her curse. Perfume tried to cure her to kill her but ended up getting cursed with the Spring of Drowned Sloth instead and was defeated by Shampoo, then thrown in a zoo to keep her out of the way. During the fight it was revealed Shampoo willingly maimed Perfume in the past, which alienated Ranma from her. Now Perfume wants to settle things once and for all...

Writer's note: Denotes Chinese  
** indicates Panda "sign" language

Part 1  
To The Finish

Kia looked down at the piece of paper once again, her hands shaking in anticipation. The name on the paper matched the sign on the side of the wall. Tendo Dojo. The private detective had done his job well. Now, after so many years of searching, she was finally going to meet him. Taking one last deep breath to calm herself she stepped forward and knocked on the door. After a few moments it was opened by Nabiki, who looked over the visitor and began sizing her up like a hungry tiger smelling a piece of raw meat.

"Can I ask what business you have here?" Nabiki asked.

"I'm here to meet," the girl blushed, "Ranma Saotome."

Nabiki looked her over once again, as though evaluating her, then shouted, "RANMA! FIANCEE!"

Kia heard an exasperated voice from within say, "Not another one," then heard a splash of water. She was about to ask Nabiki how she knew she was Ranma's fiancee when a short, wet red haired girl came to the door.

"Hi there. I'm Ranma Saotome."

Kia looked downfallen. "I was looking for a boy named Ranma Saotome." She should have known it was too easy. The investigator made a mistake and located a girl that had the same name.

"And you're engaged to him because of his father, Genma right?" Ranma-chan asked.

The information was correct, leaving Kia nothing to do but nod in response. Something very odd was going on here.

"Well you aren't the only one. Pop had a bad tendency to engage his only child to anything on two feet and with a plate of food. He never considered how women would feel marrying someone like me." Ranma-chan undid her shirt just enough to show off the top of her breasts. "I don't think it would work out, y'know?"

Kia could do nothing but agree. She was not going to marry a woman no matter what her father had agreed to, and she had so looked forward to getting married. With a depressed sigh she turned to depart when Ranma-chan spoke up.

"You look kind of upset. Would you like to get rid of some of those frustrations by beating up Pop?" Ranma-chan offered.

A wicked smile formed on Kia's lips. Now THAT would make her feel better, and she let Ranma-chan know.

"Great! Follow me." Ranma-chan grinned then yelled into the house. "POP! You have a visitor."

Ranma used the hot water to change himself back as he looked at his father's burned carcass. "Serves you right for engaging me to the inheritor of the School of Martial Arts Firebreathing," Ranma reprimanded.

"A...A...A..." Genma mumbled.

"What are you trying to say Pop?"

"A...A...Aloe," he managed to get out.

"Forget it. You're on your own old man," Ranma growled.

Nabiki looked on, mildly curious. "How many does that make this month?" she asked Akane.

"Three," her sister answered.

"Mr. Saotome certainly met a lot of people desperate to marry off their daughters." Kasumi added.

"You do realize Daddy falls under that category," Nabiki said, "don't you Sis?"

"Oh. You're right," Kasumi realized.

Ranma's joy at his father's punishment became depression as he picked himself up and headed out the door. "I'm going for a walk."

The Tendo sisters observed Ranma's depressed form leave the dojo and go outside. After several moments Shampoo peeked her head from around a corner and scanned the room.

"He's gone," Nabiki said. "It's safe to come out now."

Shampoo came fully into the room with the same look of depression Ranma had on earlier. "Shampoo go out now. Bye bye." And headed out the door as well.

Nabiki shook her head. "This place is like a mausoleum thanks to those two."

Kasumi began looking depressed too. "I hope whatever Ranma did to her he apologizes for it soon."

"Wait a minute!" Akane suddenly became defensive. "Why are you blaming Ranma?"

"That would probably be because he's usually to blame. You do it most of the time." Nabiki interjected.

"Well Shampoo screws up just as much," Akane said. "I think it's probably her fault."

It was Kasumi's turn to leap to the defense. "Oh no. I doubt that. I'm certain it's all Ranma's fault. Shampoo wouldn't do anything to hurt him."

"Well, he wouldn't do anything to hurt her either, and why are you sticking a microphone in my face?" Akane asked as she turned to Nabiki.

Nabiki smiled as she left the microphone right where it was. "This is a first. You are coming to Ranma's defense and blaming someone else. No one's going to believe it unless I get it on tape."

"I am not that bad. I only blame Ranma when it's his fault," Akane retorted.

"Which, if I recall correctly, would be all the time," Nabiki shot back.

Akane just through up her hands in disgust. She did not blame Ranma for everything, and she was especially certain that Shampoo must have done something, else she wouldn't be depressed too.

The stewardesses looked down the aisle at the two unusual occupants now seated in row A12. Both were veterans of the airlines, having had to deal with two terrorist hijackings, one minor mid-air collision, and a losing Super Bowl team. Despite that the two passengers were by far the most unusual they ever had.

"I'm kind of at a loss here. How should we treat them?" The first stewardess asked her partner.

"I'm not sure. Do we have any bamboo or bananas?" her partner responded.

Mousse-panda looked curiously at his seating companions. It took him two adjustments to his glasses to realize the person next to him had gone quiet because she had turned into an animal at the same time he did, when they were accidentally splashed with the cold water. Mousse-panda was more than a little at a loss. What did one say to a gorilla wearing a red headband and carrying a goldfish in a bowl on its lap?

*So, why did you decided to travel to Jusenkyou?* Mousse-panda asked with his sign.

The gorilla grumbled something in reply.

"What did she say?" The blonde woman, the one that had spilled the water and had been traveling with the now changed woman, asked Mousse-panda.

*She said, "it was my stupid partner's idea."* Mousse-panda translated.

"Could you ask her when she's going to get off of me?" The blonde was currently underneath the irate gorilla, the four hundred pounds of simian using the girl as an extra seat cushion.

The gorilla grumbled again.

*She said you can ask her questions directly. She still understands you. And her answer is whenever she gets cured .*

"That might not happen too soon." The blond woman began to sniffle as she was about to cry. The gorilla mumbled something else and indicated something about the goldfish in the fishbowl.

*She said that isn't going to work this time. She also wants to know how you're going to explain to Ayeka about what happened to her sister.*

The blonde looked upwards toward her partner. "Why should I explain?"

The gorilla grumbled and Mousse-panda translated. *Because it's your fault. You're the one that wanted to go to China and take Sasami along.*

The blond considered this. "Ayeka might not take the news too well. Are you going to protect me?" she asked the gorilla.

The gorilla growled a bit longer this time. *If you mean protect in the sense that she is going to help Ayeka kill you, then the answer is yes. If you mean protect as in keep you from harm, then the answer is no.*

"WAAAAAA! I didn't mean for any of this to happen." The blonde began to cry in earnest. Somehow, the goldfish in the bowl seemed to give a sad look towards her then gave one to the gorilla. It took a while, but the gorilla's scowl softened. She then grumbled for Mousse-panda to translate once again.

*She said she'll try to help explain things, but only because Sasami wants it that way.*

The blonde cheered up at that, then addressed the gorilla directly. "You know, that curse isn't so bad."

The gorilla shot up an eyebrow at that one. She grunted again as Mousse-panda held up his sign. *She wants to know what that's supposed to mean, and so do I.*

"Well," the blonde said thoughtfully, "this will help us with undercover work. We can disguise ourselves as circus performers. See, it's actually a good thing you got that curse. All we need is a cage to put you in."

The smile she gave her simian partner was the final straw as the gorilla snapped. She gave the bowl to Mousse-panda to hold and picked up the blonde, shaking her back and forth like a rag doll while roaring and bearing her teeth.

Mousse-panda translated once again. *She said "DIE MIHOSHI!"* He observed Mihoshi's predicament and held up another sign. *If you hadn't figured that out by now.*

One of the stewardess made the save by serving bananas and bamboo. Hunger overtook Kiyone-gorilla as she dropped Mihoshi and grabbed a couple of bananas. Mousse-panda did likewise and snacked on some bamboo, pleased that there were people in the world who had lives almost as screwed up as his.

Ranma walked down the street to Uk-Chan's. Upon arriving outside the restaurant he saw several trashcan-like objects in various states of destruction, along with some oddly shaped burn marks. Ukyou was currently working on cleaning one out of the odd organic substance that was inside the trashcans.

"What's going on Ucchan?"

She looked up from her work to spot Ranma. "Oh, you mean the mess. Well, some old foes of Ryouga's dropped by. I think he fought them back when he was traveling across time and space. He called them Daleks or somesuch."

Ranma sadly shook his head. "I can't believe you're encouraging him and his delusions. C'mon, going around the universe in a police call box? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"But Tsubasa backs up the story," Ukyou defended, "and you know how well the two of them get along. Besides, how else do you explain these things showing up?"

Ranma shrugged. If Ucchan wanted to believe it, fine. "What are you doin' with them anyway?"

"I think they'll make good flowerpots. I'm having Ryouga buy some plants."

"On his own?" Ranma asked.

"I didn't say it was a good idea. Besides, if he wanders off too far all he has to do is change himself into a bat." Ryouga seemed to be adjusting to his curse and used his homing abilities with increasing frequency. Ukyou had no complaints since that meant he was around longer. She was about to return to cleaning when she remembered something. "I got good news for you. Remember the jerk that turns into a bull?"

"Could hardly forget him," Ranma responded. "Why?"

"He came by the restaurant today."

Ranma clenched his fist. "If he tries to hurt you again..."

Ukyou cut him before he could begin his rant. "There was no trouble. He didn't even recognize me without my school uniform. Anyway, he came by for some okonomiyaki."

"And?" Ranma wondered where this was leading to.

"I gave him one of my special recipes."

"How special?" Ranma's curiosity was piqued.

"Very special. It's made with the strongest..."

Back at the Black Rose's Floral Shoppe Cologne and Kodachi were in a deep conversation with one another when the sound of a toilet flushing came to their attention. They saw Tarou leave one of the restrooms with a look of pure relief on his face. It didn't last long as the boy suddenly gained a troubled look and rushed back into the lavatory.

"Didn't he just do that ten minutes ago?" Cologne asked her companion.

"And twenty minutes before that," Kodachi responded. "Each time he was in there for quite a while."

Cologne looked at her suspiciously. "Did you..."

Kodachi gave her an innocent stare. "Moi? Of course not." Cologne gave her an incredulous look. "Not that I'm beyond such things. It simply hadn't occurred to me to do something like that. It must be something he ate." Kodachi smiled to herself. Tarou deserved whatever happened to him.

"I didn't know they made industrial strength laxatives," Ranma commented. Ukyou certainly made some interesting dishes for those that managed to get on her bad side, making Ranma relieved that she was an ally and not an enemy.

"He had it coming. Now, why did you come here?" Ukyou asked.

"How do you know I'm here for something? Can't a guy visit a friend without needing something?" Ranma's voice gave away just how defensive he was.

Ukyou debated how long she would let him get away with the attempted self-deception. Not long at all. "That look on your face tells me you're here for something. There's nothing wrong with that. I want you to come to me if you need help." Ukyou indicated the two should go into Uk-Chan's to make themselves comfortable. "So, what can I do for you?"

"Well, I kinda want to ask your opinion on something," Ranma sighed, "When do you know if you can trust someone?"

Ukyou looked at Ranma incredulously and began to laugh, not a deep humorous laugh but more like one of disbelief. "You're asking me about when you can trust someone?"

Ranma got the feeling he was being laughed at. "What's so funny?"

Ukyou discontinued her laugh and straightened up. "Ranchan, I'm not the sort of person you should be asking about trust. It's been years since I've been able to trust anyone. After you left me I was very hurt. I put all my faith in you and it seemed like, at the time, you abandoned me. For years I put a wall around myself never letting anyone in. I may have had acquaintances, but no real friends. It wasn't just to keep my real sex secret, it was also so I didn't run the risk of having someone hurt me some more."

"But you have friends now," Ranma burst out. "Me and Akane and even Ryouga. You're even getting along better with," his voice quieted some, "Shampoo."

"I'm just starting to trust people again. It takes time."

Ranma looked down at the floor. "I didn't realize how much I screwed up your life. I'm sorry."

The conversation was taking a turn Ukyou didn't want it to go down. "I forgave you a long time ago, and it's not like it was your fault anyway." Ukyou calmed him. "So don't go and get all depressed on me now. Besides, I haven't seen you smile in weeks."

"I've smiled." He suddenly got defensive.

"No, you haven't. So, what happened between you and Shampoo?"

Ranma switched from defensiveness to nervousness. "W...what do you mean?"

Ukyou seriously considered smacking him in the head with her spatula. Just how dense did he think she was anyway? "It's obvious. You two used to be inseparable, now you won't even walk on the same street if you can help it. Something must have happened between you guys. Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"It's just that," he began, "I used to think I knew her, but now... I'm not so sure. I don't know what to think."

"You might be judging her a bit harshly. Why don't you tell me what she did?" Ukyou asked.

"I can't. If she wants to tell you fine, but I can't do it."

Ukyou let out a sigh. If he wasn't going to open up to her there was no chance Shampoo was going to, and that meant her ability to help in this situation was limited. She had to laugh at how much things had changed in the last few weeks. If Ranma had come to her before, she would have told him how much she approved of his treatment of Shampoo and of how untrustworthy the Amazon was, trying to drive a wedge between them. Now things were different. She certainly did not trust Shampoo wholeheartedly, but she was not going to blindly accuse the Amazon of things she might not be responsible for. Ukyou's viewpoint of the Shampoo had changed considerably. Maybe she was not a backstabbing witch after all. Still, she might have hurt Ranma, which put Shampoo on very shaky ground indeed, but Ukyou was going to give her benefit of the doubt.

She had to smile at that. She was giving someone a chance based on faith, even though Ukyou did not completely trust the Amazon. Obviously the spatula wielding chef was becoming a better person. Now if only a certain someone felt the same way.

Ukyou turned back to the matter at hand. "Well then, I can't really give you much advice. The best thing I can tell you is, it's not wise to come to a decision without understanding both sides of the problem. That's happened to me, and you know the result."

Ranma returned her knowing stare with one of his own, then began looking depressed again. Ukyou decided to give him a little reassurance by walking up to Ranma and hugging him. "No matter what happens, you'll always have 'good ole' Ucchan' to back you up. So no long faces around me. Got it?" He smiled and nodded his head. "Good." And with that she gave him a light peck on the cheek, causing him to blush. She smiled at him for a moment, enjoying his embarrassment. "Hey pervert! Don't get too excited by that," and gave him a playful hit in the stomach. Teasing Ranma could be such fun. He seemed in much higher spirits as he left the restaurant.

Ryouga managed to return to Uk-Chan's without resorting to a transformation. Of course he was actually trying to find the floral shop down the street at the time, but he could use his home as a point of reference. Feeling a little hungry after the fight and walking around in a big circle, he decided to grab a bite to eat. He walked up to the restaurant and was about to enter when he peeked around the door. He quickly ducked back to see Ranma and Ukyou embracing. Worse, he then saw Ukyou kissing Ranma. Ryouga, with sorrow in his heart, quickly turned and ran up the street, silently berating himself. He should have known. He had been gone too long on his stupid quest and Ukyou had fallen for someone else. Ranma of all people. Ryouga made certain he was well out of eyesight of Uk-Chan's before he began to walk more slowly, everyone giving the depressed boy a wide berth.

What was there for him now? He had decided to give peace a chance and look at what had happened to him. He was alone again, as always. And it was all Ranma's fault. It was always Ranma's fault!

Happosai read over the scroll the construction worker gave him. The technique on it would not do the master any good, he was just too much of a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Too bad. The Shi Shi Houkoudan sounded like such a promising technique too. Just as he was about to crumple up the paper he spotted Ryouga, still wallowing in his pit of depression. The youth's presence brought a smile to the old pervert's lips.

"You there!" Happosai grabbed Ryouga's attention. "You're Ryouga Hibiki, aren't you?"

Ryouga looked at him suspiciously. "Yeah! So what?"

Happosai put on his wise old mentor act for Ryouga. "It's my understanding you have some sort of grudge against Ranma. Isn't that right?"

Happosai's timing couldn't have been better. Ryouga's hatred was at an all time high. "You got that right. He's taken everything from me my entire life!"

"Well it just so happens he's been giving me a difficult time too. Why don't we team up together to teach that worthless ingrate a lesson?"

Nothing could have pleased Ryouga more. "What do you want me to do?"

Happosai smiled, he had the hook and the line. Now all he needed was the sinker. "I'll teach you a new technique that will take care of Ranma. All you have to do is promise me you'll beat him."

That was no problem at all. He would have volunteered to jump into a pit of molten lava if it meant getting revenge on Ranma, so he quickly agreed.

Ranma traveled back to the dojo just as depressed as when he left. Ukyou had given him a lot to think about. Maybe he was judging Shampoo a bit harshly. He remembered the first time Shampoo talked about Perfume, the pain in her voice evident as she told the tale. It just seemed like she overreacted. No, she had overreacted. There was no real excuse for what she had done. Still, to alienate her the way he had been seemed a bit harsh, not that she had tried to get in his way the last few weeks. If only things could go back to the way they were everyone would be so much better off. If only he had not found out the truth.

He let out a sigh. It was not just what she had done to Perfume that hurt him. There was also the fact that she had lied to him. Maybe not directly, but by omission, which amounted to the same thing. She had promised him no more lies, and she had done it anyway. That hurt as much as learning what Shampoo had done, maybe even more. It all came down to trust. Once he became old enough he learned what living with his father was really like. The old man certainly could not be trusted. He was a liar and a thief, swindling and cheating anyone he could to make life easier for himself. Ranma still did not understand why he hadn't turned out more like his father, the only role model he ever had, but at least he was better than the old man. He could take consolation in that.

So when he met Shampoo things changed for him. Ukyou was not the only person who had not opened up to anyone in a long time. It had been years since Ranma had hung around anyone long enough to confide in them. His father had really kept their feet in the road, and the longer they journeyed the less time Ranma had to meet people. Then came Jusenkyou, the curse, and Shampoo.

Shampoo had been a strange person to be around. Never in his life had he met a girl that much into martial arts, almost as much as him. Not only that, she was good too, not to mention a little vicious. He still remembered the first time they had sparred. It had started out easily enough, but quickly escalated in intensity when Ranma realized she was good enough to really press him. When Shampoo realized she was starting to lose she went all out, nearly crushing Ranma's skull with her bonbori. He had to jump up into a tree and reassure her it was just a sparring match. A difficult task given her command of Japanese at that point. He still remembered the suspicious glare he received when he successfully explained it to her. She had seemed convinced he was up to something else.

It had not taken much longer after that when the two of them where able to train without the suspicion. Shampoo's language skills picked up a little bit and the two of them could communicate well enough, and the Lord only knew how much her presence had helped Ranma and his father. Shampoo was actually able to talk with the locals and could cook up a storm. He remembered showing her his gratitude at being spared his father's awful cooking. Genma appreciated it too, putting on close to ten pounds the fat man could not afford to gain.

It was so much easier back then. Shampoo was as fascinated by the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts as much as Ranma was in the Amazon Techniques. The two of them spent hours teaching one another their respective styles. They were like children with new toys, always eager to try them out on one another. More than a few bandages were used because of their enthusiasm at learning a new technique or pattern of attacks. That was when the first bonds of friendship were formed, in the midst of sweat and blood. Afterwards the duo got along well. Good enough to be called friends. Good friends. Shampoo was probably the first real friend Ranma had had in years.

And now that friendship may be over.

Ranma had no idea of what to do now. If only things could go back to that simpler time. No fiancees coming out of the woodwork. No enemies or old ghouls wanting to pound on Ranma or capture Shampoo. Just journeying across the world with only one goal in mind: learning martial arts. Now everything was different, complicated, and miserable. Ranma was learning one very important lesson in life. You can never go back.

He entered the Tendo house just in time for dinner. A Kasumi made meal fortunately. Shampoo was absent from the table, as usual. Just as Ranma was about to dig in he noticed everyone staring at something. Him.

He put his chopsticks down as his headache started, knowing what was coming next. "What did I do now?" Everyone blamed him for everything, except for the recent famine in Africa, and that was only a matter of time.

Kasumi answered first, "Shampoo hasn't come back yet. We thought you might know where she is."

"Haven't seen her all day," Ranma answered. "Maybe she lost track of the time."

Genma cleared his throat. "Ranma. I have to ask you something."

"Yeah Pop?"

Genma leaned in closer and began whispering. "I couldn't help but notice some tension between you and Shampoo, and I think I know what it is. I had a similar problem when I was your age." Genma gained a serious look on his face, surprising Ranma. "You are my son, so I have to ask this question, and I want you to tell me the truth."

"What is it Pop?"

Genma stared deep into Ranma's eyes. "Did you sleep with her?"

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!" Ranma exploded on his father. He picked him up by the collar of his gi and threw him into the pond.

"Well, it would explain the tension between the two of you," Genma said as he picked himself up out of the pond. "I take it that's a no."

"Of course not! Don't be stupid! Neither of us is that kind of a person!" Ranma fumed as he sat down against one of the walls, suddenly losing his appetite. His father was unaffected as he sat down at the dinner table and started scarfing down food. Why was this affecting him this much? He had forgiven Ukyou, even Ryouga for things they had done. Why couldn't he do the same for Shampoo? Maybe it was because he trusted her more, making the lies seem even worse. The problem now was what to do about it. So lost in thought was he that he did not sense the attack coming until the last second. He moved away from the wall, too late.

"BAKUSAI TENKETSU!" was the shout heard from the other side of the wall directly behind Ranma. He got caught by the edge of the shrapnel from the wall as it detonated, then had the rest of the structure fall directly on top of him, burying him underneath the rubble.

Akane could just make out a female form with a long two handed weapon in her hands through the settling dust. "Ukyou?" she called out, completely bewildered as to why the chef had suddenly attacked Ranma. The figure ran out of the dust cloud, weapon thrust forward. Akane could see as she cleared the cloud it was clearly not Ukyou. The attacker could be only one person, matching the description Kasumi had given. Perfume.

"No more interference!" Perfume shouted out as she thrust forward with her naginta, blade forward, at Akane.

Akane had almost no time to react as the blade of the naginta came at her head. She barely managed to get out of the way as the point passed where her skull was but a second ago. Perfume brought the shaft of the polearm up and smashed it into Akane's face three times in rapid succession, knocking her out.

"No more delays!" Perfume grabbed the net that hung from her belt and threw it over Genma and Soun, trapping them even as Akane slumped to the floor.

"If anyone gets in my way, they die!" She grabbed the knife from her weapon belt and threw it at Nabiki. She stared at the weapon hurtling towards her head, transfixed. She didn't even make an effort to get out of the way of the hurled blade. At the last second the weapon was snatched out of mid-air by a newcomer, Shampoo.

"Extortionist Girl should no make like deer caught in headlights." Shampoo threw the knife at the ground between Perfume's legs, then turned to Kasumi. "Make sure Ranma and others is okay." She then shifted her attention back to Perfume, much to the warrior's pleasure.

"I knew attacking them would flush you out." Perfume smiled at Shampoo.

"Perfume, you no have honor anymore. You just a crazy, violent girl!" Shampoo replied.

"And who made me that way Shampoo?" Perfume's rage began to increase. "You did!"

"Pray you didn't harm Ranma, Perfume, or I'll hurt you so bad you'll beg me to do what happened to you three years ago."

Even Perfume was a little taken aback by the deadly look in Shampoo's eyes, but quickly recovered. "You think you can intimidate me? That may have been possible three years ago, but not today." Perfume observed Shampoo strap her sword on her back and grab her two bonbori. She then walked into the backyard waiting for Perfume to follow. She didn't have to wait long.

Both girls lashed out at once, bonbori and naginta clashing. After several exchanges with nothing to show, Shampoo did something unexpected. Perfume brought her naginta in high only to have it blocked by a bonbori. Shampoo brought the other one up and threw it high into the air. Perfume's eyes followed its airborne trajectory, suspecting some kind of unorthodox attack. The maneuver was a trick. Shampoo's hand, while still raised high from the toss, gripped the hilt of her sword and brought it out of its sheath and downward towards Perfume's head. Perfume put two hands on her naginta for an overhand block. The sword neatly sliced through the shaft of the weapon, separating it into two pieces. Perfume looked at it, stunned, as Shampoo backed off.

"YOU BITCH! This was my family's honor weapon. It was in my clan for ten generations. How could you..."

"Oh dear," Shampoo cut her off, "Look what I've done now."

The calm way she said it made Perfume wonder what was going on in the purple haired Amazon's mind. Was she sincere in her apology? Not that it would do her any good. She scowled at Shampoo for a moment until she realized her old friend was not looking at the weapon, but at Perfume. "What are you staring..." Perfume trailed off, having looked down at herself to see exactly what Shampoo was staring at. As soon as she bent her head down she knew what the gaze was for. There was a vertical opening down the middle of her outfit, between her breasts, a small line of blood trickling down from the shallow cut Shampoo had made when her sword went through the naginta.

Perfume calmed down and gave Shampoo a sober look. "This time it's for real, isn't it?" Perfume asked softly. Shampoo gave a short nod in response. The pink haired Amazon tossed the pieces of her broken weapon to the ground and drew her last weapons, a sword and single bonbori. Both Amazons faced off, identical weapons in hand. Their duel truly began.

Kasumi broke off her assessment of Ranma and Akane and watched the fight between Shampoo and Perfume. It was unlike anything Kasumi had seen before, even when the dojo was full of students a million years ago. The Amazons weren't fighting, they were dancing, each warrior moving in an impossibly complex choreography of thrusts and parries. The objects in their hands were not weapons, but extensions of their limbs that moved with a fluid grace all their own. No motion was wasted, no words spoken, even their breathing was steady, not ragged. Despite what physical differences there were between the two of them, they appeared as mirror images in this dance, frequently using the same attacks at the same time. Each combatant must have been in a zone, for no mistakes were made by either one of them. If there was any one thing that could be called perfection, this was it. The event should have been horrifying, but instead Kasumi found herself intoxicated by the beauty of the duel. In some odd way, she never wanted it to end as each of the girl's moves flowed from one into another. She lost track of the time as she watched the warriors continue this dance of death. It could have been minutes or hours, Kasumi couldn't tell, mesmerized by the fight.

As with all dances this one reached a climax. Shampoo left her arm open for the briefest of moments, enough time for Perfume to bring her bonbori on the arm, causing Shampoo to release her grip on her own bonbori. Shampoo recovered, bringing the hilt of her sword across Perfume's jaw then lashing out with her foot, kicking Perfume's bonbori out of her hand and over a wall. Perfume bought herself time to reset by connecting with a powerful front kick that caught Shampoo in the stomach, driving her backward. Both women went into identical guard positions with their swords.

Kasumi saw for the briefest of moments an identical look that passed between the warriors. Not a look of hatred, nor one of intensity, but one of a sadness from deep within the soul. At that moment Kasumi understood what that look meant. For all the hatred and wrongs that occurred between the two of them. For all of the blood that had been spilled. For all the misery they had done to one another. Neither wanted to be here. They both knew it was wrong. They should have been the best of friends, and for whatever reason, that friendship had been lost. Now there was a feeling of shared helplessness as the events had, at last, reached an end.

Their last regret.

The women steeled themselves and allowed the fight to reach a crescendo. The swords played against one another, with a punch or kick thrown in for good measure. Minor cuts formed on both combatants, none of them acknowledged by the recipients as they continued to swing away at one another. Perfume switched her grip to her left hand in an effort to catch Shampoo off guard. Both blades met high overhead, jockeying for position.

Kasumi continued to watch until fascination turned into dread. Shampoo lost her grip on her sword and it fell to the ground.

Perfume was amazed to feel the resistance of Shampoo's sword disappear as her blade slipped from her hand and fell towards the ground. It was over. Unarmed, Shampoo would not last ten seconds. In the moment Perfume allowed herself to savor her upcoming victory she felt the fight slip from her own grasp. Shampoo's now free hand had almost instantly gripped Perfume's own upraised wrist. Even as she grabbed onto the wrist she pivoted her body underneath Perfume, allowing Shampoo's left hand to also grab the wrist and allowing her back next to Perfume's front. Too late Perfume realized what had happened. Shampoo had gambled everything by letting go of her sword in the hopes that Perfume would hesitate for a split second, and thereby be able to disable her weapon arm by breaking it over her shoulder.

As Shampoo completed her pivot Perfume realized she had one of two choices. She could resist the attempted arm toss Shampoo was going to apply, and have her arm broken in the process, or she could go over with the throw and hope she had enough velocity to pull her wrist free of the hold Shampoo had on and come up swinging with the sword. If she failed to free her arm, it was over. No choice really. As Shampoo muscled her over Perfume attempted to leap over the shoulder.

Perfume felt herself land on her back as she tried to rip her wrist free of the hold it was in. There was no contest as Shampoo held on and twisted, forcing the sword free of Perfume's grasp and into her own. Shampoo spun around and landed hard on Perfume's stomach, pinning her to the ground by straddling her chest. Perfume stared up to see Shampoo shift her grip on the sword so she could bring it down with force into Perfume. The look of anger in Shampoo's face told what was to come.

Fear did not claim Perfume in her final moments. She had challenged Shampoo with the realization it might end this way. Still, there was anger at failing in her task. She had spent the last three years hell-bent on victory, not defeat, and in the end Shampoo had beaten her in every way possible. She had publicly humiliated her, forced her away from her people and family, stripped her of her womanhood, denied her revenge, and worst of all, betrayed her heart by abandoning the friendship that she held so dear.

From Ranma's position he could only see Shampoo's back and Perfume's legs and lower torso as Shampoo straddled her opponents chest. The rest of the view was cut off. Ranma saw the sword raised above Shampoo's head, then descend. He tried yelling out for her to stop as he got to his feet, but the words seemed to catch in his throat as he realized it was too late for him to do anything before the blade would impact. He saw the sword thrust downward with one powerful motion and noticed Shampoo's shoulders tense up with power that one only summoned when expecting to meet resistance. The sword disappeared from view in front of Shampoo's body. It was the position of her arms that indicated the thrust had at last stopped.

The arms were too low for Shampoo to have stopped short of embedding it in Perfume.

Ranma got to his feet, a sick feeling in his gut. It was his fault. He was the one that had pushed the purple haired Amazon too far. Rejecting her presence. Refusing to listen to the explanations of her actions. Treating her like a discarded toy he no longer had interest in. Telling her through actions, not words, that their friendship was over, even though he really did not want it to be. He should have said something. Why couldn't he have given her words of consolation? Why couldn't he have been more open and listened to Shampoo instead of acting as though he was the only one that was hurt? It was so obvious now that she had been in as much pain as he was over the whole matter with Perfume. Earlier he had thought his feelings of betrayal by Shampoo were because he considered her a friend. What kind of friend was he to have abandoned her when she needed him the most? The worst kind. The kind of person others believed in. Relying on that friendship only to have it turn out that he would not be there when they needed him. He was the one who had betrayed her, not the other way around.

He moved over to get a better view. He needed to see Perfume, even in death. He stopped as he realized he could see part of the fallen opponent's head. Perfume's hair had fallen away from her face, allowing the world to see the scar she had kept hidden. He stared at that scar, the root of all the problems. It was then he noticed something out of place. His attention was riveted at her face as he saw it again. The dead girl blinked. Moving over another foot he got a full view of Perfume's head. The sword was not buried in it, but rather right next to it, over halfway into the ground. Ranma simply stood in shock at the sudden revelation.

Shampoo raised herself off of Perfume's chest and stood up as she looked down at the confused Amazon. "I not kill you in cold blood Perfume." She then lashed out with her foot, catching the prone Amazon fully on the chin, knocking her out. "But no one threatens my friends and gets away with it." She turned to see Ranma approaching her.

"I..." Ranma began, "I thought you, y'know..." he trailed off.

Shampoo gave Ranma a hurt look. "Shampoo thought you knew her better. I not kill someone like this." There was a time when she might have done so, but those days had long since passed. Ranma should have known. She wanted him to know.

"Yeah. I guess I did. I was just afraid 'cause of what's been going on between us." Ranma suddenly felt awkward and at a loss at how to continue, so his eyes wandered until he found something that would change the subject, Perfume. "What are we going to do with her?"

Shampoo looked down at Perfume's unconscious form. No anger was left in her, just sadness and pity. "I not going to kill her, but she going to keep coming back. Guess just have to keep on fighting until she come to senses or..." she trailed off, both of them understanding what she meant. Or until one of the Amazons was dead.

The two of them just stood there, staring at one another, each looking at the other expectantly, waiting for one of them to speak. How long they would have remained like that was unknown as a voice laced with contempt interrupted their stand off.

"I might have known you'd be hanging all over her Saotome. You enemy of women."

Both Shampoo and Ranma turned in annoyance at the newcomer. Mousse.

"Go away stupid Mousse!" Shampoo growled.

"Yeah! Buzz off panda-boy," Ranma growled as well. There had been more than enough excitement in one day for him.

"Oh, but I think you want me around, Shampoo, especially today. Because at long last you'll see how much I love you." Mousse smiled at a tree.

"Shampoo already know how much you love her and am not impressed."

He turned to the direction of the voice. "You will be. You see, I succeeded where that idiot Saotome failed, and it was only my purity of heart that enabled me to get this present for you," Mousse smirked at Ranma.

"And exactly what present would that be you blind goof?" Ranma looked on, unimpressed. He was probably going to have to beat up Mousse soon, if for no other reason than to get him to shut up.

Mousse continued smirking at Ranma. "See here the result of what true love can accomplish." He pulled out a glass vial of water and held it high so everyone could see.

"Nyanniichuan."

Interlude  
Three Devils  
Japan  
In the hills near the seacoast:

The man in midnight black robes and cowl walked into the bamboo forest followed by his two resurrected minions. A giant man apparently made of stone, dressed in simple green pants and with a huge weapon that looked like a couple of large swords stuck together at the hilts, and a beautiful woman, dressed in a style of clothing dating back several centuries and bearing a sword at her waist, walked alongside each other, watching their leader intently.

"Who are we reviving this time my Lord?" The giant asked.

The man in black stopped and spoke. "The one who fell in this forest lo these many years ago. One born in darkness, never seeing the light, and who subsequently allowed himself to wallow in the darkness to grow powerful."

A wind picked up within the tall growths.

"Sound made up for vision. In so many ways better than the weakness sight holds. Yet it was sound which was his undoing in the end."

A howl almost seemed to emanate from the forest as the wind picked up. None of the three seemed to notice.

"He was one of the greatest swordsmen that ever lived. He was as fast as the wind, and could blind others with his light."

The large stone man detected a disturbance from off to his left. Even as he turned the man in black reassured him.

"It is only your old friend, or what's left of him. His spirit could not bring itself to leave the spot where he had fallen at the hands of one that was smarter, if not more skilled, than himself. But you would know better than anyone the abilities of that individual, wouldn't you?"

The stone man grumbled in anger as the man in black calmed him.

"The man you want is long since dead. Dead and buried. Perhaps when this is over you will be granted a boon and his body can be resurrected for you to kill."

The stone giant smiled in response as the noise picked up.

"He is almost here. Give me the blade." The man in black addressed the woman. She handed him the sword at her side.

The man held the blade extended in front of him by the scabbard. "I offer you a chance to once again come back to the land of the living. To serve me as you once did before, though only through agents. I will ask you this but once, do you accept?"

The wind picked up even more furiously as a ghostly specter appeared from behind one of the shoots. It walked forward, hesitated but a moment, then gripped the sword. As he touched it a magic light emanated from the blade. The energy came forth to fill the specter, giving it flesh and a body it so desperately wanted for so many centuries. It was identical to his original body, a slender yet powerful form and long dark hair that flowed down his shoulders. The swordsman, whose eyes remained closed, accepted the blade from the man in black and affixed it to his waist.

"Nice to see you again." the woman said. The stone giant nodded his head in the newcomers direction.

The newcomer nodded his head in return and spoke to the man in black. "I live but to serve you my lord."

"That is absolutely correct," he answered.

Part Two  
Choices

All the Tendos and Genma had recovered enough to make their way over to Ranma and Shampoo. Everyone looked in surprise at Mousse as he held the vial up for the world to see. Ranma was the first to break the silence.

"Listen to me closely Mousse," there was trepidation in Ranma's voice. "Are you telling us you went to Jusenkyou?"

Mousse acknowledged the serious tone in Ranma's voice and responded in kind. "Yes."

Ranma began to shake in nervous anticipation. "And that water is from Jusenkyou?"

"Yes."

"Now here comes the important question." Ranma licked his lips in nervous anticipation. "Did you bring any Nanniichuan?"

"Of course not. Don't be a fool. Shampoo doesn't need Nanniichuan."

Ranma could have slapped him. "Not for her stupid! For me!"

"Why would I want to get Nanniichuan for you?" Mousse asked, confused.

"Because it's as much your fault as Pop's for me ending up getting cursed, and I would have done almost anything to get it. Instead, you greedy bastard, you used it just on yourself."

Mousse hid a smile behind his sleeve. "The joke's on you Saotome. I didn't use it either. I was so concerned about Shampoo I forgot...all...about...my," his smile disappeared as he realized the monumental mistake he had made. "NO! IT ISN"T FAIR!" he began weeping and sobbing at the sky.

"He's so stupid he actually deserves his curse," Ranma said as he shook his head. Shampoo, on the other hand, was concerned about something else.

"Mousse. You sure that really Nyanniichuan?" Shampoo found she was afraid of the answer.

Mousse came back to the situation at hand upon hearing Shampoo's voice. His curse did not matter if he could cure her. "Yes. I know it is."

Ranma turned to Shampoo. "You can't seriously be thinking about trusting him. He's blind as a bat. No, scratch that, he's even worse than Ryouga. He probably got water from the Spring of Drowned Pervert or something."

"No I didn't!" Mousse burst out. "I realized there was an offhand chance that I might accidentally take water from the wrong spring, so I had the Jusenkyou Guide grab it for me," he turned to Shampoo. "I wasn't going to take any chances with your shot at regaining womanhood."

Nabiki broke in at this time. "How do you know the guide grabbed the right stuff?"

"He gave me five vials of the water. I watched the entire time and I know for a fact they all came from the same spring." Mousse reassured her. "I used one of the vials on a rabbit. It turned into a girl."

Nabiki looked at Shampoo. "Sounds legit. We can test it out with one of the other vials if you want?" Shampoo nodded her head in agreement, reluctant to leave her hands in a Mousse chosen cure.

"Ummm. Actually, I lost the other three vials." Mousse said sheepishly.

"How did that happen you jerk?" Ranma snapped.

"Ranma! Behave yourself!" Akane scolded, "He has a cure for Shampoo."

"The trip back from China was fraught with great peril. My life was in jeopardy many times." Mousse struck a dramatic pose and looked boldly to the skies. "It was a miracle I made it back with any water at all."

"Oh my! That was very nice of you to risk your life like that. And the first thing that went through my mind was that you had accidentally dropped them and they broke," Kasumi said.

A look of embarrassment crossed Mousse's face. That was exactly what had happened. Fortunately he recovered before anyone noticed. She had to be guessing. Had to have been.

Shampoo gazed softly at Mousse. She had to take the chance. "Okay Mousse. Shampoo trust you. Give me the water."

Mousse covered the vial protectively. "Not so fast Shampoo. This comes with a price."

A collective "WHAT?!" nearly startled Mousse into dropping the vial.

"You must be joking!" Shampoo burst out.

"You jerk! That's low, even for you," Ranma added.

"Don't play games," Akane reprimanded.

"Oh Mr. Mousse, this is really important. Why not just give her the water? Please." Kasumi added a pleading look.

"It's nice to see someone has some business sense around here," Nabiki chimed in. That had the effect of Kasumi turning her head towards Nabiki and giving her a VERY intense look. Surprisingly, Nabiki got the sudden impulse to run away.

"This a serious matter Nabiki. I'm certain you meant to say something else," Kasumi seemed to intensify the stare. "Right?"

Nabiki recovered nicely. "Of course. I meant to say I would be more than willing to pay whatever the price is. Don't worry about paying it back." At that moment Nabiki would have given everything she had to keep her sister from burning holes in her with those eyes.

Kasumi's demeanor changed in a heartbeat as she gave a pleasant smile. "That's better. Thank you for offering to help."

"Right." Nabiki calmed down enough to stop sweating.

"You cannot pay me the price Nabiki Tendo," Mousse informed her.

Nabiki took that as a personal insult. "I'll have you know I have resources you can't begin to imagine. Trust me, I can pull enough strings to get you your own banana republic if you want." That was a bit of an exaggeration, but she did have a lot of influence at her fingertips.

"The price isn't money." Mousse told them.

"What is it then?" Shampoo was becoming desperate to know.

"I will give you the Nyanniichuan to use on yourself with one condition," Mousse felt himself losing courage, but found enough heart to go forward with his plan, "You must marry me."

"NO WAY!" Everyone turned in surprise to the person who delivered the outburst. Ranma. "There is no way I'll let you blackmail her like that!"

"It's not your choice to make Saotome," Mousse snapped back. "it's Shampoo's. And it's not blackmail either. Not exactly anyway. I'm just helping her realize what's best for her."

"She'd be better off with the curse than marrying you." Ranma began to move forward. "I'll just take that from you."

"RANMA STOP!" Ranma turned at the sound of Akane's command. She continued, "That's a glass vial. If you guys fight it might break."

"No it won't. I won't let it." Ranma began to move forward again.

"Ranma, please stop," Kasumi said. "It's too great a risk."

Ranma halted and turned to Shampoo. "Trust me. I can get it away from him without breaking it. You don't gotta' marry him."

"Ranma," Akane said. "Mousse is right. It's not your decision to make. This might be Shampoo's one chance at breaking the curse, then she can go back home." Akane looked at Shampoo, who returned the glance with an expression of deep thought.

Ranma captured Shampoo's attention again. "Don't listen to them. You gotta' have faith in me. I won't let you down. I can get it from him."

"Don't flatter yourself Saotome. You can't beat me." Mousse's jibe rankled Ranma. Just as he was about to retort Akane got in his face.

"You and your damn ego! You think you can do anything. Well I know how good you are and it isn't anywhere near enough to keep from breaking that vial."

"This isn't about me you uncute tomboy!" Ranma snapped back. "I don't want Shampoo to have this jerk force her into doing something she doesn't want to do!"

"Stop poisoning her mind against me. I'm the only one for her. I truly love her. I always have," Mousse stated proudly.

"Yeah right! Forcing someone to marry you is something all people with love in their hearts would do," Ranma growled.

Mousse sounded sad with his reply. "Sometimes you have to make people do things for their own good."

"And who gave you the right to decide what's good for her?" Ranma asked.

"Well who gave you the right to choose for her either Ranma?" Akane interjected. "You're doing the same thing Mousse is. You are trying to make her decision for her."

"How can you say that?" Ranma stared at her in disbelief. "It is not the same thing. She's said hundreds of times she isn't interested in him. And now she's been through a whole lot of stuff lately that's probably affecting her judgment. I just don't want her making any mistakes that she's going to regret."

"Are you sure you don't have any ulterior motives?" Akane asked icily.

Ranma was totally confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I know what she's talking about Saotome," Mousse interrupted. "She can see it as clearly in your eyes as I can. She knows the real reason that you don't want Shampoo to marry me and are so desperate to keep us apart. You lust after Shampoo!"

Ranma's face began twitching in anger. "How many times do I have to tell you I ain't interested in her that way? You're just paranoid because you know she doesn't like you and you're trying to convince yourself it's someone else that's keeping her from you."

"That's a lie. I know she cares for me. It's you who's trying to take her away. That's why she left China with you instead of me!" Mousse shouted.

"She left you behind because she can't stand to be around you! You are a selfish self- centered jerk that doesn't care what she thinks, otherwise you would never have bugged her all these years when she made it perfectly clear she doesn't like you that way. And you sure as hell shouldn't have dragged her to Jusenkyou!" Ranma shouted back.

"It's all a misunderstanding. Once I'm given a chance she'll be able to see me for what I truly am and we'll be happy together."

"She's been around you for ten years. She already knows what you truly are and she ain't interested, so you can forget it. Unlike you, I really do care about her and am not going to let you force her into doing something she's going to regret for the rest of her life." Ranma balled up a fist. "Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Hand over the water or I'll take it from you!"

"Now who's being self-centered? You just don't want her to be with me and would sooner have her chance at being cured ruined because you can't stand the idea she would leave you for someone else." Mousse went into a defensive posture, vial still in hand, as Ranma approached.

"Enough Ranma! I can speak for self." Shampoo held her arm in front of him to keep him from advancing on Mousse, then turned to the water bearing Amazon. "You give Shampoo water to use on self so I can break my curse and we can marry. That the deal, right?"

Mousse was practically jumping up and down in anticipation. "Yes."

"Give Shampoo Nyanniichuan." She held out her hand in anticipation.

"Here you go." Being in such joy Mousse was not thinking clearly. Instead of walking over and handing it to her he tossed it in the general direction of the blur he thought was Shampoo.

"YOU IDIOT!" Everyone but Kasumi shouted as the throw went high over Shampoo's head. All leaped for it save one. It sailed over their collective hands, Ranma and Akane actually colliding as they stretched out. The vial went directly to the mistaken figure it was originally thrown to, Kasumi. By remaining motionless she was in perfect position to make the catch. She reacted in time, managing to get both hands on it and bobbling it for a moment before firmly grasping the vial, letting out a sigh of relief.

"You moron! You nearly spilled it!" Ranma shouted at Mousse.

Mousse paled at the near accident, but allowed his joy to overcome it. He was about to get married.

"Here you go Shampoo." Kasumi walked over and handed the Nyanniichuan to the purple haired Amazon.

Ranma looked into her eyes. "You don't have to marry him. Just use the water and we can think of something. I'll make him change his mind later. Somehow."

"Don't fool yourself Ranma," Mousse smirked. "Shampoo won't break her word, and I would sooner die than release her from her promise."

Ranma gave him an evil glare and spoke softly. "Don't tempt me Mousse. You have no idea how close you really are, so don't tempt me."

Even Akane was taken aback by the intensity in Ranma. She had never seen real hatred in his eyes until then, and it was a sight she was never going to forget.

Shampoo placed a hand on Ranma's shoulder to relax him. "Mousse right. I not break word."

The anger left Ranma as he gazed pleadingly at Shampoo. "Is it really worth it? Is breaking your curse really worth marrying him?" He grabbed her firmly by the shoulders, and began openly pleading with her. "You don't have to give in to this sick bastard! I swear to you we'll find another way! I'll do it by myself if I have to. Don't go through with this."

Akane spoke up. "Ranma. Don't make this any harder for her than it already is. She's made her choice." Akane approached closer to the duo. "Now she won't have to worry about being captured by her grandmother and be forced to kill herself. She can go back home, make amends with her family, and live with her people. She's going to be their leader someday." She turned to Shampoo and addressed her. "That's what you wanted, isn't it?" Shampoo just stared at her as Akane looked to Ranma again and continued. "She's going to be happy. Maybe Mousse won't be so bad once he settles down. I mean, he's done some stupid things, but he'd never actually try to hurt her."

"What do you call what he's doing now?" Ranma asked bitterly.

Akane could not answer the question. Instead, she placed her own hands on Ranma's and removed them from Shampoo. "Let her go Ranma. Let her do what she has to." She gently led Ranma a little bit away from Shampoo so the Amazon had some space.

Shampoo looked everyone over. All present were edgy from the tension, even Nabiki who usually tried to appear calm and collected. Shampoo allowed her eyes to rest on Kasumi for a moment. The eldest Tendo stared back and gave her a hopeful smile. Shampoo then turned to Ranma and gave him a wan smile. His shoulders slumped in defeat as he realized he was not going to be able to convince her anymore. She noticed that he was accomplishing what she thought would have been impossible only a few days ago by looking even worse than he had the last few weeks. Even she was a little taken aback by the pain she felt in her heart at seeing him that way.

She returned her attention to the large vial of water in her hand. She stared at it closely, moving it back and forth a little bit. There was enough in it to trigger one change. Only one chance. She looked more closely at the water. There was no way of being able to tell it from normal water. No odd tint or particles in it. No aura of magic or luminescence. Just plain and ordinary liquid in appearance. An illusion those cursed springs projected to lead the unwary into it's depths and forever change them, like it had Shampoo. Even bearing the knowledge the springs were dangerous she had still fallen for the illusion, into the trap. Now she had a way out, but even if she returned to a normal uncursed form the mark of Jusenkyou would still have changed her forever. The change would simply not be physical in nature anymore, it would be emotional. Perhaps no one ever truly escaped the curse of Jusenkyou.

She stared at the vial a little while longer. Time to use it before something bad happened, like the water evaporating or something. She removed the stopper from the vial and allowed the air to come into contact with the water. It did not evaporate as she predicted. This was it. It was just like Akane said, the cure to all her problems. Well, some of them anyway. The fatal ones. There was only one thing left to do. She held the vial at arm's length and...

tilted her wrist.

Everyone looked on in complete shock.

The movement allowed the water to fall downward, almost in slow motion to Shampoo. It poured out in a steady stream and struck true.

Everyone continued staring in shock, silence reigning supreme. But the reign was eventually cut short by one of the people present.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Mousse shouted out.

Shampoo gazed at him with the coldest stare she had ever given, making even Mousse pause. "The deal was Shampoo use magic water on self and marry Mousse. Well, I not use water on self, so no have to get married."

Everyone was so wrapped up in the events that no one had noticed the storm clouds which had formed overhead. Rain started to pour down in a heavy deluge, changing all the cursed people into their alternate forms.

Perfume felt the water hit her face and looked up to see the rain falling. It took her a moment to get her bearings. "What happened?" she asked out loud. Then it came back to her. She had lost to Shampoo. The purple haired Amazon had spared her life, but gave her a savage kick which had knocked her out. The jaw still ached from that and would for some time. She looked up to see the rain pouring on her from above. "Well. If this doesn't make my humiliation complete I don't know what would." Her self-pity abruptly ended when she realized something was not occurring which should have. Sitting bolt upright she took in her surroundings. She remained where she had fallen after the battle, with everyone having gathered around her and staring.

"What's going on? How come I'm not changing?" Perfume asked the bewildered crowd.

Ranma-chan looked at her, shock still evident on her face. "Shampoo gave you her Nyanniichuan."

"What are you talking about?" Perfume asked. It seemed to be true, as impossible as it sounded. Why would Shampoo do something like that? She quickly scanned the spectators. Explanations were needed. "Where's Shampoo?"

"She's right..." Ranma-chan trailed off. Shampoo was not where she was a moment ago. She turned just in time to see Shampoo-kun jumping over the wall surrounding the dojo. Just as he leaped out of sight a second figure quickly followed. Perfume had stood up and chased after him the moment her eyes saw Shampoo-kun fleeing.

"Oh my God! That crazy psycho is still after her!" Ranma-chan tensed up and prepared to jump after the fleeing duo when she sensed an attack. She barely managed to get out of the way of an anvil that was thrown at her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Mousse-panda held up a sign as tears mixed in with raindrops. *This is all your fault Saotome. You've twisted her mind so much she doesn't even want a cure.*

Ranma-chan gave Mousse-panda a deadly look. "Listen real close because I will say this only once. I am going to go help Shampoo. If you try to stop me I...will...hurt...you!" The anger in Ranma's voice became more intense with each word spoken.

*Wrong! Today is the day you die! Make peace with your god! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU RANMA!* Mousse-panda pulled out close to a hundred blades from his sleeves and began spinning them around in an intricate pattern, like the blades of a dozen spinning propellers. Both combatants shouted and growled in fury at one another and leaped to the attack.

Perfume observed Shampoo-kun flee into the top floor of an abandoned building. She entered it cautiously, suspecting a trap and keeping her senses alert until she spotted Shampoo-kun standing in the middle of a room, staring at the ground. Perfume entered as quietly as she could, trying to keep from capturing Shampoo-kun's attention.

Shampoo-kun had left the others because he wanted to be alone. Giving up the Nyanniichuan was harder than he thought. But now there was no escaping it. No action came without consequences. "Come on in Perfume. You not need to sneak around."

So much for stealth. Perfume moved boldly into the room as though she owned it and Shampoo-kun was an intruder. She stopped just short of Shampoo-kun, waiting some kind of attack. He just looked at her sadly.

"Why did you do it?" she asked.

"You mean the Nyanniichuan?"

"Of course!" Was Shampoo playing some kind of game?

"I had to." Shampoo shrugged.

"The hell you did! You had no reason to give me that. You need it even more than I do." Perfume was forced to wonder what was going on in Shampoo's mind. Nothing made sense anymore.

"Don't be so sure of that," he answered softly.

"What do you mean?" Perfume was getting tired of asking questions. She wanted answers.

"You would never have been cursed if it wasn't for me. You only got your curse because you were trying to cure me."

"Only so I could kill you," Perfume responded.

"That doesn't matter. It was the right thing to do. You didn't deserve what happened to you," Shampoo-kun said.

Perfume's voice dropped to just barely a whisper. "Why are you doing this?"

"I told you. Because it was the right thing to do."

Perfume's voice shot up. "That's not what I mean! Why are you trying to make it difficult to hate you?!"

"That's not what I'm trying to do..." Shampoo-kun began but was cut off.

"Yes you are! You left me alive when I was trying to kill you! The first time might have been because I didn't kill you after our first clash, but there was no reason this time. If anything, you should have killed me. It certainly would have been called for. I almost murdered some of your friends. And then you give me Nyanniichuan. I don't care what you say, you had no real reason to give me that. Too much is at stake. So why did you do it?"

"I told you. It was the right thing to do."

"That's not an answer!" Shampoo-kun was shocked to hear his one time friend sound so distraught over this. "I've been trying to kill you. How can you keep from doing what you know has to be done? Don't you realize I'm not going to stop until one of us is dead?"

"I know," he answered softly.

"Then why won't you do it?!"

"Because I don't hate you," he said, maintaining the soft tone. He was not prepared for the response his answer garnered.

"THAT'S A LIE!" Perfume screamed. "I remember the duel on the battletree! I remember the look in your eyes! You did hate me! You do hate me!"

Shampoo-kun felt like breaking down as a surge of emotion coursed through him. "Oh Perfume, I don't hate you. At first I thought I did, but I just wasn't thinking straight at the time. After you sent the challenge letter I was a wreck. I didn't get any sleep for three days." Shampoo-kun's voice now sounded just as emotional as Perfume's. "Why couldn't you have told me to my face?"

Perfume seemed a little taken aback, hesitating before answering. "That's the way I always did it. I always sent a letter."

"I was your friend, not some stranger. I deserved better than that," The pain was evident in Shampoo-kun's voice. "You should have told me yourself. Instead I didn't know what to think. It drove me crazy. I thought you betrayed me."

Perfume became defensive. "I never betrayed you. I told you from the start what I wanted. You didn't listen."

Shampoo-kun sighed. "I know that now, but I didn't realize it until after the fight. If only you had told me yourself..."

Perfume became more defensive. "Don't try blaming this on me! You are the one responsible for everything that happened between us."

"I'm not trying to blame this on you."

"Yes you are!" she answered quickly. "I can see it happening now."

"No I'm not. Why are you getting so defensive?" Shampoo-kun asked.

"I am not getting defensive."

The tone contradicted the words, causing Shampoo-kun to stop and wonder. An idea formed in her mind. "Perfume. Why were you there?"

That confused Perfume. "Why was I where?"

"The first day we became friends. When Cabinet tried to ambush me. Why were you there?"

"I...I don't know what you mean?" Perfume suddenly became every evasive, causing Shampoo-kun to look at her suspiciously. Something was not right. Perfume was hiding something. And that was when the final pieces clicked together.

"Yes you do. Why were you there? Did you have some errand to run? Was it coincidence? Were you going to smell the flowers? Tell me!" Shampoo-kun voice rose as he drew closer, causing Perfume to back off.

"I was..." Perfume did not want to give the answer. She knew why she was there but did not want to admit it.

Her hesitation confirmed what Shampoo-kun feared. "You knew, didn't you? You knew she was going to ambush me and you never told me. It was all a set up."

"It wasn't like that." Perfume tried to defend herself, but Shampoo-kun brushed it off.

"You really were just using me to find out my fighting style." he began yelling at Perfume. "You never cared about me at all! Admit it! You helped me so you could get close and learn my secrets! It was all a pack of lies!"

"NO! It wasn't like that! I really did care about you. We were friends, I didn't lie."

"I don't believe you!" Shampoo-kun spat out venomously. "You never cared about anything I told you. I opened myself up totally to you and you were just humoring me so you could learn everything about me. I was such a fool. All this time I've been blaming myself for everything and I couldn't have been further from the truth."

"Don't you dare try absolving yourself of guilt!" Perfume burst out. "You maimed me. You started all this, not me. I'm not to blame!" Perfume's voice began to crack.

"Then tell me I'm wrong. Tell me you weren't there to spy on me. Tell me you didn't try to learn my fighting style," Shampoo-kun demanded.

"Stop it! Stop It! STOP IT!" Perfume buried her head in her hands as her voice began to crack even more. "It's not true. I'm not responsible. You are. I can't be..."

Perfume didn't want to think about it. There wasn't any need to. She knew the truth for all these years. But a small part of her, the cold analytical part that helped make her so good at what she did, asked why she was losing control if she was right. One of the first things she had learned when she read about battle tactics was to look at yourself through your enemy's eyes. If Shampoo had been behaving the way she was now, Perfume would have assumed it was because she felt guilty about something. What did Perfume really have to feel guilty about? And then it all fit together. She felt guilty about everything.

She had been there to watch Shampoo fight. She had overheard Cabinet making plans for an ambush and decided to watch, hoping to learn Shampoo's fighting style. She had not intended to help Shampoo out. It had been a sudden impulse she had acted on, though she never did figure out why. Then came the time she tried to tell Shampoo about the challenge. She attempted to several times, but always stopped at the last moment. Then she decided to send the challenge letter instead. She had felt dirty doing it that way, but she would not admit it to herself. Not then at least. And finally there were her feelings when she waited on the morning of the duel at the battletree. She tried denying it to herself, but she knew what those feelings were, the ones she had felt before the fight. That was the reason she had fought so poorly. It was the feeling of regret that cost her the match. She had believed becoming the best was the driving force in her life, for anything else to supplant that belief would have made her years of training a lie. But it turned out she did value something more, Shampoo's friendship, even if she could not admit it to herself. She had subconsciously thrown the fight because of her self inflicted guilt. Perfume was responsible for poisoning the friendship.

She wanted to keep blaming Shampoo. She wanted to believe the purple haired Amazon's hatred was what had broken the friendship. But that hatred no longer existed, if it ever did. Shampoo had spared her life, given her Nyanniichuan at great personal sacrifice, and openly said she did not hate Perfume. There was only one person that was keeping this vendetta going. And maybe she was the one who had started it too.

The sudden self awareness was more than she could handle. Perfume began to break down and cry. "It was my fault. Oh god! All this time I blamed you and it was really my fault." She felt more and more sorrow rise to her chest. "I can't take it!" She tried to run but was grabbed by Shampoo-kun before she had made it ten feet. He spun the girl around and embraced her fiercely into his chest.

"Let me go! LET ME GO!" Perfume tried extracting herself by wriggling and screaming, but it was to no avail. Tears traveled down Shampoo-kun face as he embraced Perfume tightly and refused to let go. Eventually Perfume ceased struggling and went limp in Shampoo-kun's grasp.

Shampoo-kun bent down and whispered into Perfume's ear. "You're wrong. It was my fault too. It was both of us. We both did each other horrible wrongs. I should never have hurt you, no matter the reason my dearest friend. I'm sorry."

Perfume seemed to stiffen for a moment. "You never apologized before."

"You left before I could, and then we fought so much I never had a chance. So I am apologizing now. I'm sorry. I would do anything to take back what I did to you. Anything," Shampoo-kun told her, still crying.

Upon hearing those words Perfume let down her guard and allowed years of pent up emotions loose as she returned Shampoo-kun's embrace just as fiercely. "I'm sorry too." She continued crying as well. "Oh, I've missed you so much Shampoo! It's been so lonely where I've been. There's been nobody these last few years. I've been all alone."

"I've missed you too.

They continued like that in silence for several minutes. As the emotional tide passed the two composed themselves. Both looked at each other, slightly embarrassed.

"Look at us. Two proud Amazon warriors crying like little children," Perfume smiled as she wiped her eyes.

Shampoo-kun wiped his eyes as well and looked around. "I don't think anyone spotted us, so we're safe." The two laughed a little at that, then became more serious.

"Where do we go from here Perfume?" Shampoo asked.

She considered the question seriously. "I don't know. Things can't go back to the way they were. Too much has happened between us for that to happen. What I do know is this, my blood feud with you is over. Now and forever. I will never try to hurt you for what occurred at the battletree or what has happened over these last few weeks."

She paused and thought some more. "I suppose I will end my self imposed exile and go home. I miss my family. Don't worry though. Your secret is safe with me. I would sooner die than reveal your curse. After all, I'm partially responsible for losing your cure."

Shampoo-kun waved her off. "I would do it again without hesitation."

Perfume smiled warmly, "You are too generous." A serious look overtook her expression. "Shampoo, if by some miracle you find a cure and lead the village someday, I would gladly follow you to the gates of Hell with a smile on my face."

Shampoo-kun was a little in shock. Perfume had basically said that he was the better warrior, despite her lifelong desire to lead. It was a sign of acknowledging one's superiority in the village hierarchy. Shampoo-kun moved forward and gripped Perfume's forearms in a formalized gesture of acceptance. Perfume responded by returning the gesture. Shampoo-kun then added his part. "I would ask for no less than the best warrior to fight at my side to storm those gates. I would accept no less than yourself if I become leader."

The two embraced each other in a more reserved, but still emotional embrace. They broke off and stared at one another. Perfume broke the silence first.

"You know something Shampoo?"

"What?"

"You are one godawfully handsome man. If you get too close to the village you might find yourself set upon by some of the warriors who might try to goad an 'outsider' male into fighting them." Perfume smiled at the joke.

Shampoo-kun shook his head. "I already have to deal with that all the time here."

"Oh you poor girl," Perfume said sympathetically. "If I figure out some way of breaking the curse I'll let you know. She turned to leave. "So long Shampoo, but not goodbye."

Shampoo-kun waved at the departing Amazon. "So long. May your journey be safe, and your path be true."

And with one final wave Perfume leaped out a window and off into the streets. For the first time in her life she actually felt some measure of peace. What she had done today was the right thing to do. Now at long last she was going home. A journey three years overdue.

Akane and Nabiki took in their surroundings. Bits and pieces of every kind of weapon and object imaginable were strewn about the yard, including one unconscious cursed panda. Kasumi made certain that no permanent damage was done to the transformed youth as he lay there. Dr. Tofu was already on his way to check him out as well. Kasumi did not want to take any chances.

Nabiki looked at Akane. "It's a good thing you calmed him down. I'm not sure he would have stopped beating on Mousse, not that he doesn't deserve a good thrashing."

"Yeah. I know." Akane shuddered a little. Both opponents had fought with every move and weapon in their arsenals, and only one came out on top. Ranma-chan had fought with a viciousness Akane had never seen before. Ranma-chan most likely would have made serious on her threat to Mousse and would have hurt him badly if Akane had not physically stopped the girl from continuing her assault, even after Mousse had been beaten into unconsciousness. Even then Akane had to remind Ranma-chan that Shampoo might have been in danger to get her to break off the attack and rush to her rescue. Akane had more faith. Shampoo could handle herself. She had already beaten Perfume once and could do it again if she had too. A good thing for Perfume that she had left since Akane still owed her one for the sneak attack earlier in the day. She briefly considered going after Ranma-chan but stopped. Her behavior made Akane a little cautious and she wanted to make certain Mousse did not get out of hand if he recovered. At least that was what she told herself. Akane was not afraid of Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan saw Perfume leave the building, alone. She briefly considered following, but realized the only reason she would have holed up in the building was if Shampoo was there. And if she left alone, then Shampoo was still in the structure. Ranma-chan took off as fast as she could and leaped into the building, spotting Shampoo-kun as soon as she entered. There were no new signs of injury on the Amazon, but Ranma-chan rushed forward anyway.

"Are you all right? What's going on? Where did Perfume run off to?" he ran off the series of questions too quickly to get any answers.

"I okay. Perfume go home. She make peace with Shampoo and won't bother us again." she examined Ranma-chan, noticing several new wounds on the girl. "Is you okay Ranma?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Mousse can't hurt me. I'm more worried about you." Ranma-chan took notice of some of the cuts Shampoo-kun had received from his fight with Perfume. She moved forward and cradled his arm where one of the wounds was located. "That's a nasty scratch you got there."

Shampoo-kun did not miss the note of concern in her voice. "You mean you care?"

Ranma-chan suddenly felt nervous. "Of course I do. Look, I'm kind of," her voice quieted down a little until she could force out the next word. "sorry about the way I've been treating you lately." Her face showed the signs of the struggle of coming up with the right words. "I should have..."

Shampoo-kun gave a soft gaze and put his finger to Ranma-chan's lips to silence her. "Shhhh. Shampoo understand. No need to explain."

She quieted down as the smile Shampoo-kun gave told everything she needed to know. All the events of the last few weeks were forgotten in the way only two people that care deeply for one another can overcome.

Ranma-chan smiled back. "Let's go home." She knew the details of what occurred with Perfume could be given later. For the first time in weeks all was right in the world, at least for now.

Cologne detached herself from her hiding spot in the shadows. Never in her three hundred years had she ever seen anything like what had just happened. It all seemed so impossible. Shampoo had somehow managed to turn an obsessed enemy that sought her death at any price into a friend who would now give her life for her. Not only that, but her great granddaughter had sacrificed the solution to all her problems for it. Cologne had not thought her capable of that sort of sacrifice, yet she had done it before her eyes.

It was too much to be mere coincidence. The longer Cologne lived the less she believed there was such a thing. The idea that Perfume just happened to show up and be defeated just in time for the idiot Mousse to show up and try to bribe Shampoo with the Nyanniichuan, then Shampoo just happened to make the right gesture to give her the means to avoid killing Perfume and made the pink haired Amazon Shampoo's friend once again was all too much. For Shampoo to have the cure in her hands and to have circumstances convince her to give it away seemed impossible, yet that was exactly what had happened. Something was going on. Something Cologne did not understand, though she had a feeling it had something to do with the curse Shampoo had acquired. It would explain so many things. Cologne was tired of being outmaneuvered by a group of children that could flummox her at every turn. Maybe it would be best to just let things play out and try to keep Shampoo alive long enough to remove the curse so they could go home. Yes. That might be the way to do it. Let fate play out its hand while she crossed her fingers and hoped for the best. If only it was not so damn frustrating.

Epilogue

"Now remember boy. Depression is what fuels the Shi Shi Houkoudan." Happosai informed his new student.

Ryouga concentrated in the way he was taught and formed the chi flow in his mind. As depressed as he was it came easily to him. Too easily for Happosai's tastes.

"Slow down boy. Don't do it all at once." A column of chi energy came into existence above Ryouga's head as his depression began coalescing, much to Happosai frustration. "You have to learn to crawl before you can walk. Don't feed so much into it."

Too late. The now huge column formed in the air and collected, coming down as a large sphere. A perfect version of the Shi Shi Houkoudan which happened to drop on one person, Happosai. He barely had time to scream as the blast hit him full force and left him embedded in a huge crater on the ground.

"I've taught you all I can. G'night." And with that Happosai collapsed.

"Perfect," Ryouga smirked. He had all he needed for revenge now.

End notes:  
Special thanks to:  
Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Kevin R Wible  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	16. A Moment, A Day, A Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The love bills make an appearance. But who ends up with which one?

Ranma ½ Presents:   
Shampoo ½

Chapter 16  
A Moment, A Day, A Lifetime

C+C always welcome.

Standard disclaimer: I disclaim I own any of the Ranma ½ characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

An alternate universe:  
What’s happened so far (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the beginning the Saotome’s traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma= male Ranma. Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo= female. Shampoo Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and briefly became engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. On the first day of school water and confusion mixed leaving everyone believing Ranma-chan is Shampoo and Shampoo-kun is Ranma. Now all the girls swoon at the handsome “Ranma.” and constantly throw themselves at him. In the months that followed many battles with a bizarre variety of opponents ensued. It was eventually discovered that any Amazon cursed by Nanniichuan is guilty of a crime and has to stand trial, the punishment being death. In the last chapter Perfume, an old rival of Shampoo’s from China that was inadvertently cursed in Jusenkyou, tried one last time to kill her adversary. Perfume fell in defeat. Mousse showed up with some Nyanniichuan to cure Shampoo, but made the condition that in order to use it on herself she had to agree to marry him. Shampoo took the Nyanniichuan and used it on Perfume rather than marry Mousse. With that sacrifice, Perfume declared their blood feud at an end and went back to China, while Cologne has accepted the fact Shampoo is not going to be cured until the curse is done with her. Now Ranma has to deal with the fact Ryouga has been taught the Shi Shi Houkoudan by Happosai, and in a fit of jealousy over Ukyou, intends to kill Ranma…

Writer note: References to Principal Kunou and Gompachi Chabane are explained at the end of the story.  
Fuji and Kamiya are the names of the two zoo attendants from chapter 2.  
Capt. Ai, Kyoko, Kaede, Megumi, and Ayeka are the names of the Furinkan Cheerleader Squad. 

Part 1  
Dues Ex Machina

Ryouga wandered around, as usual, looking for his residence. It was important to him he find it on his own this time. He had to tell her goodbye. It was not his fault things had turned out the way they did. 

His hunger got the better of him and he finally wandered into a restaurant only to discover it was very familiar. He had come home. The restaurant was empty at the moment, save for Ukyou working behind the counter. She glanced up and smiled warmly at Ryouga.

“Welcome back. I missed you.”

He blushed with embarrassment. “I had some things to take care of.” He stared at her. This was going to be the last time he would see her, taking in her form with his eyes. She was the only person that had treated him like an equal instead of some stupid idiot that could not find his way out of a bathroom, and now he was watching her for the final time. His impulse was to give her some gift and tell her he was going on a far off journey, one last effort to run and hide, but not this time. He would make his stand.

“Uk-chan.” He had not called her that for some time, but it seemed appropriate now. “I realize you’ve,” this was turning out harder than he thought it would be. “You’ve fallen in love with someone. Well, I won’t get in the way. If I stay here it would only make things bad for the two of you, so I’m leaving. I just,” his voice started to break as the urge to run became stronger. “I just wanted to say goodbye one last time.”

Ukyou had a look of total bewilderment on her face. She made an odd gesture with her hand and moved it behind the grill, then began speaking. “Sugar, what are you talking about?”

He felt his heart break some more. She was going to force him to say everything, causing a replay of the events in his mind. That horrible moment he saw Ukyou and Ranma kissing. “I just wish the two of you all the happiness in the world.” Well one of them happiness anyway. The other he was going to leave a bloody smear. As he thought about the painful death that he was going to inflict on Ranma something occurred to him, the way things stood now Ukyou would think of him fondly, but if he really killed (or hurt severely) Ranma, then she would hate him instead. He wanted to keep her friendship, even knowing he would never see her again. It would keep him warm on those cold lonely nights, knowing there was someone out there in the world who did care for him. What was he to do now? He had just reached another no win situation in his life, just like all the others.

Ukyou seemed to be struggling with something out of view behind the grill and continued talking to Ryouga. “All right. As I see it, you eavesdropped on part of a private conversation and are making some kind of snap judgment that will impact on our entire lives without asking me a thing about it.” She saw Ryouga squirm a little at that. He was understanding her point on the first try. Good. “I’m a bit disappointed with you.”

“And she ain’t the only one you bloodsucking rodent!” said Ranma as he finally got away from Ukyou’s attempts at keeping him out of sight behind the grill. “You actually think I would do something like that to Ucchan?!”

Ryouga began to quiver in anger. “RANMA! What were you doing behind that grill?” All sorts of weird ideas went through Ryouga’s mind as to what Ranma would be doing to Ukyou while on his hands and knees out of sight behind the grill. All of them only served to make Ryouga’s anger grow.

“I was fixing it. Since it’s YOUR job and you weren’t around to repair it, I volunteered.” Ranma balled his fist and made ready to ‘explain’ to Ryouga just how stupid the youth was being when Ukyou placed a restraining hand on him. 

“Now, now Ranchan. Allow me to deal with this.” She hopped over the grill and approached Ryouga, speaking to him in a honeyed voice. “So, you think that Ranma and I are having an affair and you’d just be in the way? That’s so, oh what’s the right word for it?” She paused in thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. “I know!” 

She drew her giant spatula and flattened it on his skull. “STUPID YOU JACKASS!!!” She paused for a moment to make certain the blow took. “Why can’t you ever ask for an explanation instead of jumping to some idiotic conclusion?! What if you had just decided to head for the hills and hadn’t come by at all? I would never have seen you again and it would all have been because of some stupid misunderstanding.”

“Mis…under…standing?” The truth was making its way through the spatula and into Ryouga’s head.

“Yes. Misunderstanding. That was a friendly kiss I gave him because he was feeling really depressed. It wasn’t a romantic one. We’re just friends, and if you had bothered to ask me about it I could have told you.”

“Yeah, you dummy,” Ranma added. “As if I would play around with Ucchan’s feelings like that. The two of us are just friends. Close friends.” He gave a warm smile to Ukyou who returned it even as she left the spatula on Ryouga’s head, “but just friends.”

Ryouga recovered enough to pull his head out from under the spatula and begin speaking again, paying full concentration to playing with his fingers as he spoke. “So what you’re trying to say is, there isn’t anything going on between you two?”

Ranma could have slapped the human bat. “Yeah. That’s the point we’ve been trying to tell you.”

“Oh, okay.” Ryouga began to smile when he remembered one other important detail. “Ummm. Ranma. I might have to kill you.”

“What are you talking about?” Ukyou exclaimed. “I just explained everything to you. You don’t have to lay a finger on Ranchan.”

“I do. Sort of. You see,” Ryouga was becoming really afraid. “I kind of was depressed and made a deal with Happosai to beat Ranma up.” As it turned out his fears were justified.

“RYOUGA YOU JACKASS!!!” A second tremendous spatula blow found its way to the mark. “How could you agree to anything that little pervert would do? I’m really hurt by that.”

Ryouga managed to mumble out a “sorry,” then started telling the story of the deal and learning the Shi Shi Houkoudan.

“We have to figure out how to get around that promise,” Ukyou said as Ryouga finished.

“Maybe Ranma could throw the fight?” Ryouga suggested.

“I don’t throw fights,” Ranma responded. “Ever.”

“Well, we have to do something.” Ukyou began to ponder the problem they were facing when she noticed both the guys get an eager look on their faces as they began to speak. She decided to cut them off before they began. “And no. I will not allow the two of you to really fight it out. I don’t want to see either of you hurt.” They moved to speak once more but were cut off again. “No. There is no way you can guarantee neither of you will be hurt, and if you want me to speak to either of you ever again you will not fight it out.” That was the nail in the coffin, both guys relaxed as all three tried to come up with a plan, but it was to no avail. 

“Well, get out your wallets boys and girls. We’re going to hit the most devious person that ever walked Nerima.” Ranma said.

“Who’s that?” Ryouga asked.

“The woman who has all the answers for the right price. The girl who would be my future sister-in-law if there was a snowball’s chance in hell of me marrying Akane. Good ole’ Nabiki Tendo.” All three began looking through their wallets to see if they were going to have enough to cover the price of advice.

The people had gathered at the appointed showdown in one of the forests outside of Nerima. The sides were even as Happosai, Ukyou, and Ryouga stood off on one side if the battleground staring across at the opposition: Ranma, Shampoo, and Akane. 

“Ranma. I’ll cut you a deal. I’ll make Ryouga give up the promise if you’ll wear these.” The perverted one pulled out a pair of red silk panties and matching lacy bra. “When you’re a girl of course. No repeats like that training trip we had,” he quickly added.

Ranma recoiled in disgust. “Forget it you old goat. I ain’t ever wearing anything like that.”

“Why won’t you ever listen to your master?” Happosai began sniffling. “It’s for your own good. It’ll make you a better martial artist.”

“Cross-dressing doesn’t have anything to do with martial arts!” Ranma snapped back.

“That’s right,” Ryouga added. “Ranma does it just for fun.”

Ranma began moving forward until Akane put a restraining hand on him. “Don’t worry Ranma. I know you can beat him.”

Ukyou berated Ryouga. “Don’t you dare prod him like that again.”

Happosai drifted over to Ukyou. “Since Ranma won’t wear these pretty things how about you? I think you’d make a good model. Those long legs, those firm buttocks, that…” His hands started to drift off for a closer examination of the body parts he was describing when his speech got cut short. A large spatula had hammered him into the ground.

“Ranma’s right. You are a disgusting pervert!” Ukyou said as she admired her handiwork.

Ryouga pulled the master out of the ground by his neck. “And if you ever try to do anything like that to Ukyou again I’ll unload another one of those Shi Shi Houkoudans on you.”

Happosai squirmed out of Ryouga’s grasp and relented. “All right, all right. Just beat up Ranma.” The master wriggled in anticipation. Once Ranma was rendered helpless he would dress her up in the lingerie and admire her beauty. That and the punishment Ranma deserved for keeping the master from his rightful quest to rescue all the world’s underwear would make him happy.

The two boys walked forward and met in the middle of the field of battle. Each one gave the other a look of contempt.

“This is it Ranma. This is the day you finally end up beaten.”

“Guess again Bat-boy,” Ranma said. “I don’t care what fancy tricks you’ve learned, you can never beat someone as good as me. Why don’t you get lost?”

Ryouga’s voice began to rise. “If that’s the way you want it, fine! Get ready to meet your doom!”

Ranma sounded just as anxious. “All right. Let’s do it!”

Both youths held out their fists and shook them three times at one another. They then held out their hands. Ryouga’s was still in a fist. Ranma held two of his fingers out.

“Rock beats scissors. I win!” Ryouga announced as he jumped up and down in joy.

Ranma appeared disconcerted. “Let’s go again. Best out of three.”

“No,” Ryouga refused.

“How about three out of five?”

“No!”

“Ah c’mon man. I’m just warming up. Let’s do four out of seven?” Ranma asked.

“Wasn’t whole point of playing rock, paper, scissors so Ranma would probably be defeated without fight?” Shampoo whispered to Akane.

“Yep. Leave it to that dumb idiot to try to win even though we all wanted him to lose.” Akane answered. Shampoo just nodded her head in agreement.

Happosai was hopelessly confused. “What do you two think you’re doing?!”

“I’ve beaten Ranma,” Ryouga answered.

“No you haven’t! Five out of nine?” Ranma asked.

“No!”

“That is not what I meant!” Happosai shouted again.

“Hey, the agreement was I beat Ranma. You didn’t say how I had to do it,” Ryouga responded.

“I wouldn’t have bothered teaching you that technique if I didn’t want you to use it on Ranma.” Happosai began to tremble in rage.

“That’s not my fault,” Ryouga pointed out. “Now I beat Ranma so it’s a done deal.” 

“I’ll show you a done deal and I’ll take care of Ranma as well. Should never leave a job to amateurs,” Happosai mumbled to himself as he began to glow with a chi aura around his body.

“Oh look! Panties!” Ranma pointed off somewhere off in the distance behind the perverted one. Once Happosai’s attention was fully on discovering the panties, Ranma silently indicated to the others it was time to leave. All parties ran off into some shrubs and away from the battleground.

“I don’t see anything Ranma. What color were th…” Happosai drifted off when he realized everyone was trying to give him the slip. “Oh no you don’t. No one jokes about panties and gets away with it.” The master’s blue aura increased in intensity as he set off after his prey.

Ranma and the others rushed through the woods, looking back in caution.

“You think Nabiki’s plan will work?” Akane asked Ranma.

“What do you think?” he answered. “Do you see her around?”

“It was the best plan anyone could come up with. Even if it was awfully expensive,” Ukyou added.

Akane just sighed until they came upon a second clearing, where Minami was putting the finishing touches on a thirty foot magical symbol on the ground, looking at a magical tome she had in her hand for reference. Gosunkugi stood off to the side, observing the proceedings. Minami spotted the group racing towards her and signaled them. “Is he on his way?”

“Oh yeah. He’s mad as hell too. You got that finished?” Ranma asked as he ran towards the ghost sweeper.

“Just about. Remember, safe spot is in the center. Now quick, get the water off of my gopher.” She pointed to Gosunkugi.

“I thought I was your apprentice,” Gosunkugi said.

“Errr…right. That’s what I meant to say. Apprentice,” Minami corrected.

Ranma grabbed the canteen of water and dumped the contents over his head, triggering the change. She then ran to the center of the circle and watched as Minami finished the symbol. The ghost sweeper finished writing and made certain everyone else was behind her as she mentally prepared herself.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Ranma-chan asked nervously.

“Yep! Once he steps foot in that circle all I need to do is say the magic words and he’ll be sent to another dimension.” Minami smiled. “I’m sure he’ll have fun in the Abyssal Plains.”

“How long are you planning to leave him there?” Akane asked.

“For a little while,” Minami answered, then thought, “Like forever. I don’t care what anyone says, I am not bringing him back.” She began speaking out loud again. “Now flout your wares, babe,” Minami said to Ranma-chan as she gave her book to Gosunkugi.

Ranma-chan undid her shirt and let the top of her breasts show. When Happosai cleared the trees he spotted Ranma-chan putting on a seductive pose for him.

“Hi there big boy,” Ranma-chan said in the sweetest voice she could muster. “Why not come over and play with me?”

Happosai did what came naturally as he flew towards Ranma-chan’s breasts. Just as he entered the circle Ranma-chan cried out. “Do it now Minami!”

“AMON SHITU SEI-YA!!!” The lines of the pattern formed within the figure glowed, shooting light high up into the sky. There was one last blinding flash then silence. As everyone’s vision returned they saw no one remained in the symbol. Both occupants had vanished.

Akane looked on in fear. “Where’s Ranma?”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen,” Ukyou joined in. “He was supposed to remain behind.”

Minami looked sadly at the circle. “You’re right. I mean, there was some obscure chance that he would get sucked up in the spell too, I just didn’t think it would happen. Oh well!” She brought her hands together and gave a prayer for the dead.

“Wait just one second!” Akane erupted. “You have to bring back Ranma!” 

“No can do, Tendo. If I bring him back the pervert returns as well,” Minami explained. “Sorry.”

“You bring him back, Minami,” Shampoo threatened.

“No way! It’s a sacrifice Ranma would be willing to make.” Minami remained adamant.

“We’re not willing to make the sacrifice,” Ukyou explained with her spatula at Minami’s throat. A sword and wooden mallet joined the chef’s weapon. “And now you aren’t willing to make it either. Right?”

Minami sweatdropped bigtime. “Of course. You’re right. I was only joking. Why, life without Ranma would make things peaceful around here, and who really wants that?”

“I’ve got it covered,” Gosunkugi shouted as he found the passage he was looking for. He posed dramatically and spoke the words. “KLATUU VERATA NIKTU!!!”

“NOOOOO!!! YOU IDIOT!!!” Minami shouted. “That’s a spell of summoning!”

The symbol burned brightly on the ground causing everyone to shield their eyes once again. 

“I thought we wanted to summon Ranma,” Gosunkugi stated.

Minami shook her head. “No! We wanted to recall them. Instead, you have summoned a new creature.”

Gosunkugi stood there in awe. “Wow. I never did that before.”

Minami grabbed him by his collar and began shaking. “When I’m through with you, you’ll never do it again either!”

The glow faded away from the symbol, leaving a nine foot tall, leathery skinned, massively muscled, ugly looking, winged creature in the center of the circle. It looked over the group and spoke. “I am Drog, Demon of Storms. And you are my dinner.”

Minami’s eyes glazed over. “OH MY GOD!!! You summoned a name level demon!” Minami’s mind instantly went over her options. After a split second, she decided there was only one way to deal with it. She turned to the rest of the party. “Martial artists, ATTACK!!! Except Akane.” 

Everyone jumped to the order, save Gosunkugi, while Akane looked quizzically at the ghost sweeper. “Why hold me back?” she asked.

“Because I like you too much to see you waste your life as cannon fodder,” Minami explained.

“Minami!” Akane intoned menacingly.

“I also need you to protect me while I try to come up with a solution,” Minami added.

Gosunkugi simply appeared confused. “Why can’t we control it? I thought you could do that with summoned demons.”

Minami looked exasperated. “Because the symbol on the ground is meant for banishment, not control.” The light went on in Minami’s head. “That’s it. I’ll banish him. All I need to do is say the words backwards.” Minami made a gesture and began the intonation, then stopped more than halfway through.

“What’s wrong?” Akane asked.

“If I banish Drog then it will eradicate my ability to immediately recall Ranma and the pervert. It would take me months to find them again. Most travelers go nuts if they’re stuck on the Abyssal Plains for more than a couple of days, and with Happosai there it will only be that much worse for Ranma,” Minami informed them.

“Well then, bring them back.” Akane could not understand what the problem was.

“If I do that I lose the ability to banish the demon. I won’t be able to send him back for hours.” Minami paused for a moment to assess how the martial artists were doing. Not well. “We’re not going to have hours.”

Akane looked desperately at her friend. “It doesn’t matter. Bring back Ranma.”

Minami gave Akane a serious look. “We won’t be doing them any favors bringing them back in the middle of a fight with a rampaging demon.”

Akane shook her head. “I don’t care. We’ll find a way to overcome it.”

“Ranma wouldn’t want you to risk your life like that,” Minami said.

Akane gazed at pleadingly Minami. “Just bring him back, please.”

It was Minami’s turn to nod her head. “All right.”

Drog finally got the upper hand against the trio of martial artists attacking him. A huge bolt of lightning crashed from the sky amongst the attackers, immediately taking out Ukyou and Shampoo. Only Ryouga was left standing, and groggily at that.

“You…hurt…Ukyou,” Ryouga barely managed to get out.

“Impressive durability,” Drog said. “Too bad. You guys are always too tough to eat.” A second bolt of lightning came crashing down on Ryouga. The electricity proved too much as he fell to the ground, burned and unconscious.

Akane and Gosunkugi saw the results of the conflict and became aware of the fact the demon was now licking its lips and looking at them.

“We have to buy Minami more time,” Akane informed Gosunkugi. “Protect her. Now!” Both of the remaining combatants stepped in front of Minami, prepared to protect her with their own lives.

“I’ve got it!” Minami shouted. “Drixil, Draxil, Droxil, Drone, time for this one to come…”

Drog misinterpeted the nature of the spell. “NO! I won’t let you send me away!” Drog said, and with that announcement a third lightning bolt struck the ground, knocking out Akane and Gosunkugi instantly while throwing Minami off her feet. Drog’s eyes lit up at the feast that was set before him. He would dine well for the next few days.

Minami gazed upward through eyes watering with pain. She managed to utter one last word before passing out. “…home.”

The symbol on the ground lit up once again as magic coursed through it returning two lost people back to the world at large. As the light cleared, Drog witnessed Ranma-chan choking Happosai.

“This is all your fault you old lech! I can’t believe you would fondle a succubus like that!” She continued to shake Happosai back and forth.

“Yessss.” Drog hissed as he licked his lips. “Hors-d’oeuvres.”

Ranma-chan and Happosai saw everyone’s unconscious forms and turned to face the new threat. 

“You can’t treat pretty young girls like that,” Happosai warned.

Drog pointed and a lightning bolt hit the master.

“Then again, maybe you can.” Unconsciousness followed.

“What the heck are you?” Ranma-chan asked.

“Hungry.” And with that Drog snapped his fingers and sent another lightning bolt to earth. This time the target was Ranma-chan. 

Drog smiled as Ranma-chan disappeared in a cloud of smoke. “Ah just the way I like them, lightly fried.” He began laughing until the smoke cleared and Ranma-chan looked at him unimpressed.

“Is that the best you can do? It barely tickled.” She smirked at the tall demon.

Drog remained where he was, scowling. “No one mocks me girl.” He pointed his finger at her and a lightning bolt five times the size of the last one struck Ranma-chan cleanly. Drog looked on, impressed with his handiwork. “She’ll be overdone. Oh well.” He was once again taken aback when the smoke cleared and revealed Ranma-chan standing there once again, though this time she was obviously staggered.

“Whoa. I felt that one,” she got out as she staggered to and fro. 

“Impossible! No one can stand there and withstand the thunderbolts of Drog!” He began waving his hands in an intricate gesture as the clouds overhead became blue. “I will summon the Mother of all Thunderbolts. The Ultimate Destroyer. I will leave nothing, not even a charred cinder as you fall beneath the fury of the storm. Prepare to,” his speech was abruptly cut off as a warhammer flew from out of the clouds and struck him squarely in the head. The hammer returned to the clouds as Drog shook his head to regain his bearings. “Who dares attack Drog, Demon of Storms!” he shouted to the skies.

He was answered by a huge man riding a flying chariot pulled by two goats. He had a red beard, scale mail, winged helm, huge bracers and matching belt while wielding the same warhammer that had hit Drog.

“Oh no! Not him!” Drog cowered in fear before one more powerful than he.

“Yes! Tis I!” He shouted as the chariot landed and the man disembarked. “Thor, God of Thunder. Now, who dared attempt to summon the Mother of all Thunderbolts?” He gazed at the two standing beings, looking back and forth between them.

Drog pointed to Ranma-chan. “It was her. She’s the one!”

Thor shook his head sadly. “Dost thou expect me to believe that slip of a girl can summon the lightning of the gods? You do insult mine intelligence. Now have at thee cowardly demon.” And with that, Thor nailed Drog in the head with Mjourner once more, this time knocking him out. Thor paused to look at the unconscious form. “I shall send this one back to the underrealm later.” He turned to Ranma-chan. “As for you milady, dost thou usually go about with a loathsome creature hugging thy bosom?”

Ranma-chan looked down to see Happosai returning to his favorite spot. The master looked tearfully in to her eyes. “I was so worried about you Ranma. I tried to save you, honest.”

“Get off me you little deviant!” Ranma-chan protested as she tried to pry him off her chest. The problem was taken care of as the master was plucked off her chest by Thor.

Happosai began to squirm. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Thor stared flatly at Happosai. “Saving yon fair maiden from the touch of a foul troll.”

“What!’ Happosai began to bluster. “I’ll have you know I’m no troll.” 

“Oh Mr. Thor,” Ranma-chan began, putting on her helpless little girl act. “Thank you for saving me from that awful troll.”

“RANMA!!!” Was all a shocked Happosai managed to get out.

Thor smiled warmly at the girl. “Tis a pleasure. Now observe as I send this most evil troll far away where he will never bother anyone again.” And with that, Thor threw Happosai straight up in the air, drew back his hammer, and hit the pervert as though he were a baseball, not noticing the odd bracelet that fell to the ground from out of Happosai’s gi. Thor followed Happosai’s progress as he broke the atmosphere, looking a bit disconcerted.

“He’s really traveling.” Ranma-chan whistled as Happosai’s form left visual sight.

“I do believe I sliced my shot,” Thor mumbled.

“Ah! Don’t worry about it.” Ranma-chan really didn’t care where the master ended up as long as it wasn’t Japan. “Thanks for helping AHHH!” Her complement changed to a shout of surprise as Thor lifted her up in his arms. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“For doing a fair maiden such as yourself a great deed, I do expect a reward.” Thor smiled.

“A r…reward?” Ranma-chan did not like the path this conversation had suddenly taken.

“Aye. I shall steal a kiss from thy lips, and then…” He trailed off, giving Ranma-chan a lascivious grin.

“NO WAY!!! I don’t want to kiss you!” Ranma-chan made a disgusting face at Thor, visualizing what the God of Thunder had in mind.

“Thou canst not deny me.” He drew Ranma-chan closer.

“All right pal. You asked for it. KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!” she unleashed a volley of one hundred punches into his face. Thor stood there smiling.

“Thou art playing hard to get. Good! I like wenches with spirit.” He drew Ranma-chan closer, not realizing someone had appeared behind him and lifted his hammer off of his belt.

Ranma-chan continued to struggle, kicking and screaming. “Put me down! Put me down!”

“Thou art about to have a taste of the heavens.” As Thor puckered up he received a mighty blow to the top of his head from Mjourner itself.

“Who was about to taste the heavens?” A voice behind them asked.

Thor spun in fury, Ranma-chan still in his grasp. “WHO DARES STRIKE THE GOD OF THUNDER WITH HIS OWN…” his voice trailed off as anger was replaced by fear. “Sif!”

Ranma-chan looked at the tall woman, also in Asgardian style clothes, and observed a familiar glint in the woman’s eye. “You are in for some trouble now pal,” she told Thor.

“Wait my love! I can explain. This is not what it appears.” Thor tried to back out.

“So thou doth say with thine hand upon the wench’s breast!” 

Thor quickly removed his offending appendage. “The wench was attacked by a demon. She did leap into my arms in gratitude. I did try to gently remove her from my person, but to no avail.” Other people started to recover and observe the proceedings.

Ranma-chan just shook her head. “Give it up man. Just look at her eyes. She wouldn’t listen to you even if you were telling the truth.”

“Away foul temptress.” Thor casually tossed Ranma-chan out of his arms. Casually for Thor meant forty feet for Ranma-chan, who deftly landed on her feet. Thor continued. “See milady. Thou art the only one for me.”

“Dost think I am some kind of fool? I know what thou wert planning to do with the mortal wench.” Sif turned her back to Thor.

“Well, if thou wert anything other than an uncaring brute, thou wouldst listen to my side of the story.” Thor went too far with that one as Sif turned around in rage.

“Uncaring brute! UNCARING BRUTE!!!” Sif drew back the hammer, “THOR, THOU ART AN IDIOT!!!” and with that declaration she unloaded a blow three times as powerful as the one that struck Happosai, sending Thor far, far away. “You cannot escape me that easily ‘Odinson’. Thou still hast to pay for thine treachery.” And with that Sif grabbed the demon, threw him on the chariot, then flew off with it after Thor.

Everyone gathered around Ranma-chan who was staring off at the dwindling forms. Minami spoke first. “Congratulations Ranma. You are probably, hopefully, the only guy in history that was hit on by the God of Thunder.”

“You know. In some odd way, that whole thing between Thor and Sif seemed vaguely familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.” Ranma-chan said as she scratched her head and looked at Akane, who shrugged back.

Everyone else sweatdropped as they stared at Ranma-chan and Akane.

All the energy seemed to leave Ranma-chan’s form as her shoulders slumped. “I’ve had enough excitement for one day. I’m going home and sleeping the rest of the day. Wake me up when it’s time to eat.” 

As everyone headed towards home Akane spotted the bracelet that had fallen from Happosai’s pocket. There were three pearls of various shades of blue on the object. Akane looked at it admiringly and put it on her wrist. There was no telling whose it was so she would hold onto it for safekeeping until someone asked about it.

Interlude 

The man in black and his now three companions walked through the swamp with a sure and steady gait. 

“Who do you summon next, my lord?” The stone man asked.

The man in black turned to him and spoke. “Surely you can guess. Look around you in the air.” 

The stone man took notice of the number of wasps in the air. “Ah. Him.”

The blind swordsman jumped up to a tree branch that hung out over some of the fetid water of a lake within the swamp. “It was from this point I last heard him try to scream out in agony while submerged.”

The man in black’s hand glowed as he seemed to address the air around him. “You flying ones display a loyalty rivaled only by the snakes of our companion. Build for me a hive.”

Swarms of wasps in the swamp all gathered and began collecting material to create a hive. The hive was built in an impossibly quick amount of time, and when it was completed its size was slightly bigger than that of a man. After its completion the wasps backed off, hovering expectantly. The man in black held his hand up and touched the hive. 

“Breathe,” he said. Nothing happened.

“Breathe.” Again, nothing happened.

“Breathe.” This time he was rewarded by a heartbeat from within the nest. The man in black backed off. Within moments a hand broke through the hive wall. Then another. The entire side gave way as a hunchbacked man with what appeared to be a hornet’s nest on his back broke out of the hive.

“The master of the wasps now stands among the living. We are halfway there.” The man in black said, then laughed.

Part Two  
Three Ways to Love

“Ah! Another fine day of school,” Ranma-chan said, sarcasm laced in her voice as all the members of “Team Ranma,” including Nabiki, headed off to school. It was another hot morning. Every day seemed hot lately.

“You is so right Ranma,” Shampoo-kun agreed as he and Ranma-chan trudged onward.

“If you two went in with the right attitude you’d have a better time” Akane reprimanded the duo. They were always like this before school. And during school, and after school…

“I don’t think so,” Ranma-chan quickly replied.

Just as Akane was about to move in for a more animated conversation Shampoo-kun seemed to magically appear between the duo, heading off any further ‘discussions.’ The rest of the journey took on a more normal tone as they approached the school. Once they arrived the day went from normal to typical. All the students had gathered outside the walls of the school. A good distance from the walls actually, looking at them in fear. Hiroshi and Daisuke were wearing combat helmets and keeping low to the ground, as were most of the other students. Kunou was the exception, standing boldly at the front of the pack. Several explosions emanated from behind the wall on the school grounds themselves.

“Oh. It’s gonna be one of ‘those’ kind of days, isn’t it?” Ranma-chan said to no one in particular. 

Ukyou decided to get to the bottom of things. “What’s going on?”

Hiroshi stepped forward and answered, “Cheerleader war.”

“Impossible!” Nabiki erupted in anger. “If there were going to be any cheerleader wars I would know about it.”

“What’s that?” Ryouga pointed to a round object trailing smoke that came flying over the wall.

Ranma-chan held her hand over her eyes to block out the glare of the sun as she looked up. “Pompom with a fuse,” she said matter of factly. 

“INCOMING! EVERYONE HIT THE DECK!!!” Malia shouted to the crowd as she desperately tried to grab Daisuke’s helmet from on top of his head. 

As everyone dove for cover, Nabiki reacted. “Kunou, save us!” And with that she gave him a mighty shove forward, right into the path of the incoming projectile. He reflexively reached out and grabbed it, shielding everyone with his body as it exploded. Kunou did not fare well from the blast.

“Oh Kunou baby, you saved us all. You’re so heroic,” Nabiki said.

Everyone stood back up and looked forlornly at the school. Sayuri spoke up first. “We’re going to be late and you know what that means.”

Chisa finished her thought. “Haircuts for all from Principal Kunou.”

“Why hasn’t Chabane put a stop to this?” Daisuke asked.

“He probably sees this as some kind of obstacle course and is admiring it all from the school roof or something,” Akane explained.

“I don’t want my hair cut again!” Malia sobbed as Daisuke moved to comfort her.

Sayuri turned to Shampoo-kun. “You can save us Ranma. No one can beat you!” All the girls gathered around and began begging and pleading with him. Even Ukyou joined in giving him mock puppy dog eyes and singing the praises of how powerful “Ranma” was, much to Shampoo-kun’s chagrin.

The guys began gathering around Ranma-chan as well. Hiroshi acted as spokesman for his group. “Shampoo. You can protect us too.”

“Geez!” Ranma-chan shook her head. “Don’t you guys have any pride?”

“Yes. But we aren’t as great as you.” 

She grinned at the compliment. “Well that sure is true. I guess I will protect all of you.”

Akane just shook her head sadly. Ranma’s ego was never going to shrink with that kind of praise. She noticed Nabiki scowling off to the side. “What’s wrong?’ 

“I’m angry,” she continued to frown. “My information network has a hole in it. There’s going to be hell to pay.” She turned to the group of students. “Does anyone know which school laid the ambush? Tell me it wasn’t Quagmire.”

“The school’s still standing, isn’t it?” Hiroshi answered.

“I heard someone shout, ‘Seisyun Forever’,” Chisa piped up.

Nabiki’s mind processed the information. “Ai’s sister, Mariko, is from that school. Now it makes sense. It’s a personal attack.” 

Time was wasting as Ranma-chan called everyone together. “All right everyone. Form up between me and Ranma and we’ll get this show on the road.” 

The students kept their heads low as the party made its way through the blasted off gates to the school and into the war zone. Inside the grounds was nothing but carnage. Blasted out craters and smoky ruins lined the school yard as cheerleaders fought back and forth with batons, pompoms and other cheerleader fighting implements. The Seisyun cheerleaders outnumbered Furinkan’s about four to one, but the Furinkan cheerleaders fought with much more skill, making it an even match. 

Ranma-chan made an assessment of the battle. “Looks like Kaede’s down. They won’t be able to use the whirlwind pyramid.”

“You sound disappointed,” Akane snapped. “Are you planning on joining the squad?”

“Don’t be stupid!” Ranma-chan said as she ducked a flying Seisyun cheerleader. “I don’t care what happens to that pack of lunatics.” A baton came flying overhead. Just as Ranma-chan attempted to bat it down out of midair, Capt. Ai of the Furinkan squad deflected it off course with a baton of her own. That action allowed her to get her sister, Mariko, one on one. 

“Mariko you bitch! Bad enough you dare ambush us, but then you have the audacity to cause havoc and terrorize the student population. How dare you! That’s my job!” Ai shouted.

“Ai you slut! You’ve had this coming since you tricked your way past us at the Martial Arts Cheerleader Combat semi-finals last year,” Mariko retorted.

“It’s not my fault your school is full of nothing but a bunch of no talent bums.”

“We’re a bunch of no talent bums that are going to kick your collective asses!” Mariko snapped back.

The two began to fight in earnest. The other Furinkan cheerleaders were having mixed results in their fights. Kyoko was being outmaneuvered by two Seisyun cheerleaders bearing colorguard flags when Ryouga spotted the danger to her. He broke away from the students he was protecting and leaped over, managing to grab Kyoko and leap out of the way as the two attacking cheerleaders missed with their attack and struck each other, resulting in a double knockout.

Ryouga landed safely and released Kyoko. She gazed into his eyes, lovestruck. “Oh, you saved me.” 

“Yeah, well I have to get back to the others. Good luck.” With a wave he set off to help the students make their way back to the school, leaving Kyoko looking wistfully at his departing form.

“He wished me luck,” she sighed.

Ai’s battle with Mariko had finally reached a high point. Ai postured before her sister. “Time to finish you off with Furinkan’s greatest attack.”

Mariko scoffed at her. “We took out one of your people. You can’t use the whirlwind pyramid”

“It’s not the whirlwind pyramid,” Ai stated bluntly.

“We have counters to your cheering attacks.”

“It’s not our cheering attacks,” Ai replied.

The frustration began to take its toll on Mariko. “Well what is it then?!”

“You’re about to find out,” Ai grinned evilly, then turned in the direction of one of her cheerleaders. “How dare you say Ayeka has big hips!” She shouted out.

That caused Ayeka to turn. “What?!”

“Oh my god!” Ai continued. “I can’t believe you say you’ve seen smaller hips on a yak.”

“What are you talking about?” Mariko was completely bewildered. Ayeka was not, as her battle aura sprung up so fast it knocked out three enemy cheerleaders. 

“WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?!!!” Ayeka shouted.

“She said she thinks you could give birth to a hippo,” Ai finished.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Ayeka tripled her aura and launched herself at Mariko. “DIE!!!!”

Ai knew what was coming and got out of the way. Mariko was not so fortunate and was caught in the blast that caused the biggest crater yet.

Megumi bounced over to Ai as everyone else stared in awe at the massive attack just launched. “Do you think Mariko survived?”

Ai looked eager. “I sure hope not. That would mean I get her room.” The dust settled enough to make out two unconscious forms in the impact site. “They’re both breathing. Oh well,” Ai said nonchalantly and turned to the remaining Seisyun cheerleaders. “Your leader is down. Leave now or suffer her fate at the hands of the Furinkan High Cheerleader Squad’s most devastating attack: The Ayeka Bomb!”

The Seisyun cheerleaders took the wisest course of action by grabbing their unconscious teammates and running off, leaving the Furinkan cheerleaders on the field of victory. Megumi looked at Kyoko as she wandered over.

Ai couldn’t help noticing her teammate’s lovestruck condition. “What’s wrong with you?” 

Megumi answered for her. “She’s in her ‘my heart belongs now and forever to (fill in the blank)’ phase.” Megumi went over to pick up Ayeka and Kaede.

“Who is it?” Ai asked.

“Ryouga,” she answered dreamily.

A devious smile formed on Ai’s face. “If you like the guy I say go for it.”

Kyoko began blushing. “I just couldn’t.” Her tone switched from happy to somber. “He already has a girlfriend.”

Ai just smiled at her teammate. “I have it on good authority that he is not going out with Kuonji. They’re just friends. Besides, you are so much prettier than her.” 

Kyoko smiled at that. “You’re right. I mean, she does dress up like a boy after all.”

“Exactly, and if you need any help just come to me. Your concerns are my concerns.” She smiled at her comrade

“You’re the best captain a cheerleader could have,” she gushed as she went into the school. Megumi came over bearing the other girls.

“What’s up with that, ‘your concerns are my concerns’ crap?” Megumi asked. She had grown up with Ai and knew her self centered streak was a mile wide. The only reason she would help someone is if there was something in it for her.

“What can I say? I have a weakness for true love,” she said out loud, then silently thought, “I also have a weakness for seeing meddlers like Kuonji pay for screwing up my plans.”

Nabiki was not happy. Today had been a near thing with the cheerleader war and it would appear to the world that she was slipping in the information department. Naturally she could not be perfect, but that did not stop her from portraying the illusion she was. She took in all of her friends, (she tried to keep from thinking of them as minions. She had true respect for them as people and tried to treat them more as partners with her in charge.) and saw them doing various things. Her numbers cruncher gave her the latest figures on the “business.” 

The numbers cruncher gave a verbal summery as Nabiki double checked the figures herself. “Profits are down another thirty percent this month.”

“That makes three months in a row that we’ve been going downhill.” One of the girls that had overheard the statement added.

Nabiki gave a dismissive gesture with her hand. “We still make close to five times as much as we did before Ranma arrived at the school.” Still, if profits continued to go down they might start to have problems. It hurt to watch a tremendous profit margin dwindle away. What they needed was some way to inject some way to get more business going. Something to stir up the population. Things had tapered off with Shampoo-kun so much that no one bothered to attack him anymore at school. And as interest in him dwindled so did the money that girls spent on him. Pictures still did a good turn, but she needed something else. Something to excite the masses. A tournament perhaps. If there was some way to convince Shampoo, Nabiki would have lined up a special date with Ranma auction, but the Amazon never seemed interested in members of the same sex. What to do, what to do? 

Her gaze went to her partners. Maybe one of them had an idea. She looked over at two of the girls mooning over something. Nabiki thought they may have been looking over some of the “Ranma” pictures, but as she approached them she saw it was something else. A calendar of men in scantily clad outfits. The gears in Nabiki’s mind began to tumble. Yes, that might work. Oh yes. Minimal investment for the potential of great profits. And if it didn’t work out then she could just sit back and have a good time anyway. 

In the classroom Shampoo-kun gave a sneeze. “Someone must be talking about me.” It was lunch time which meant that he had time to kill. He gave a look around to see if Ranma-chan might be looking in his direction. No such luck, she was talking with Akane about a movie or something. 

“Did you get the tickets to that new Jackie Chan film you wanted to see?” Akane asked.

Ranma-chan looked downfallen. “Nah! I had to stay after school for detention and they sold out before I got there.”

Akane gave a sympathetic look to her. “Sorry to hear that.”

Ranma-chan looked even more forlorn. “Yeah. I was really looking forward to it.”

Kyoko ran into the room and approached Ryouga’s desk, lunchbox in hand.

“Hello Ryouga!” She practically sang. “I’ve come to see you.”

“You have?” Ryouga was a bit taken aback. No one ever came to see him.

“I just wanted to thank you for saving me today.” The same lovestruck look she had at the start of the day remained on her face. “Would you like to share a lunch with me?”

“Actually I have a lunch already.” He indicated the box he had on his desk.

Kyoko examined it closely. “It’s okonomiyaki. Do you always have okonomiyaki?” 

“Well, yes. I like okonomiyaki,” he replied.

“Do you like it enough to eat it everyday? Wouldn’t you like a change?”

Ryouga considered that. “Well, I guess.” 

“Good!” And with that she picked up his lunch and tossed it into a waste can. Kyoko then opened her lunch and began feeding Ryouga with a pair of chopsticks. He chewed on the first bite, savoring the taste. “Do you like it?” she was practically biting her nails in anticipation.

“It’s really good. You’re right. It is nice to have something other than okonomiyaki every day. I guess a little variety is good for you. I should have tried something other than okonomiyaki some time ago. It gets kind of boring after a while,” Ryouga stated. “There’s only so many ways you can dress it up before it becomes overused and seems dull and plain.” 

Everyone in the room turned at the sound of metal being shredded apart. Ukyou looked down, surprised that she had somehow managed to accidentally tear her desk in half like a piece of tissue paper. She just gave a nervous laugh and looked down at her seat. 

Akane walked back from gym when she caught the end of a speech Kunou was giving one of his fellow Kendoists. She could not believe it when the words “Jackie Chan” came up in the conversation. It had to be too good to be true. She moved closer so she could overhear.

“I do profess a weakness to the actor. Admittedly, it is low brow humor, but it has a certain charm which I find quite enjoyable,” Kunou commented to his companion.

“It was nice of Sasuke to wait a couple days in line for you,” the other Kendoist commented.

“It is the place of servants to obey their masters. Thanks are not necessary.”

Akane walked over and let her presence be known. “Excuse me. Did I hear you say something about that new Jackie Chan movie?”

Kunou practically started slavering at the mouth as the other kendoist walked off. “Can it be you are interested in him as well?”

“Wellllll…” Akane began.

“It is! Then let us date Akane Tendo! Together we shall go to the movie.” He moved forward to embrace her.

Akane fended him off with a fist to his face. “I just want the tickets, not a date! I’ll pay you for them.”

“I would not part with these for all the money in the world,” Kunou stated proudly.

Akane was beginning to become desperate. She really wanted to get the tickets for Ranma. She had to offer something she was willing to part with for the tickets. There was only one thing that she could think of that Kunou might accept in substitution. 

“If you,” she stopped. This was going to be harder than she thought. “If you give me the tickets I’ll,” her voice dropped to almost nothing.

“What was that?” Kunuo had not caught what was said.

“I said I’ll go out on a date with you once, and only once.” Akane managed to get out.

Kunou was in shock. “You said…you said yes.” Kunou began to shout out. “Attention world. Akane Tendo and I are now dat…UMPHPH!” 

Akane placed a hand over his mouth and whispered in his ear. “It’s got to be a secret. Remember I have a family honor thing with my engagement to Ranma.” Appealing to his sense of honor was the only thing that might keep Kunou quiet. Possibly. Probably not but it was her only shot.

Kunou bowed. “Of course. We must keep this secret until the foul Saotome is dispatched. Here are the tickets.” He handed them to Akane, then set off to try to take care of the “foul Saotome”. Poor Shampoo-kun was going to have a busy day.

“We’re going on a trip to the beach?” Ranma asked after school when everyone had returned home. 

“Yes we are, son,” Soun informed him.

“It’s going to be great. Fun in the sun. Great seafood.” Genma licked his lips in anticipation. 

“I thought we had a problem in finances,” Akane mentioned. 

“We do, but Nabiki volunteered to pay for it all,” Kasumi said. “Everyone remember to thank her when you see her.”

Akane, Ranma and Shampoo looked at one another. “What’s wrong with this picture?” Ranma asked.

“Sneaky Extortionist Girl up to something all right. She never do anything for free.” Shampoo said.

“Maybe she’s just changing her ways?” Shampoo and Ranma just scowled in Akane’s direction at that suggestion.

“No. It’s something more devious,” Ranma said. “I can’t begin to guess what though.” As he finished his statement the subject appeared before them. 

“Why are we going to the beach, sis?” Akane asked.

“Can’t a girl feel like treating her family every once in a while?” She asked.

“Are we goin’ to have to pay for all of this?” Ranma asked.

“Nope. Free of charge. It’s too hot and I just can’t stand the idea of traveling to the beach alone. So I want to take you all with me.”

“It pretty expensive, right?” Shampoo asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Nabiki said.

“I don’t have a bathing suit,” Ranma informed her. Shampoo also admitted likewise.

A wide grin broke out on Nabiki’s face. “It’ll be my pleasure to provide you with some. Now I have to leave.” Nabiki got up and left the room.

Ranma felt like pulling out his hair. Nabiki was definitely up to something and not knowing what her plans were was driving him nuts. 

The Tendos were not the only ones Nabiki had invited on the short vacation. Ranma, his father, Shampoo, Ukyou, and Ryouga all traveled in the van Nabiki had rented to take everyone to the shore. Ukyou and Ryouga were just as much in the dark as to why Nabiki would invite them along as well. 

“Well, time to change you two.” Nabiki told Ranma and Shampoo as she grabbed a canteen of water.

“Why we have to change?” Shampoo asked.

“The last time I checked, the world’s largest body of cold water is located right off the shore. Since you guys can’t even walk across the street without getting hit by water I don’t think you’d make it very far without changing. Now, unless you’re feeling like being an exhibitionist today and Ranma wants to go topless as well, I suggest you two change.

Ranma and Shampoo hated to admit it, but Nabiki was correct. Both of them poured a little water on themselves and changed into cursed forms while Ryouga decided to take his chances on changing into a bat.

The group arrived at the shore and unloaded themselves. All save Shampoo-kun and Ranma-chan went into the changing rooms only to emerge a little time later adorned in swimwear. Everyone was in conservative garb for the beach as they began to spread out and enjoy the sun. Akane and Ryouga informed the duo the changing rooms were clear as Nabiki handed them the packages their swimsuits were in. The two looked at one another and decided to accept the gifts as they headed to the changing rooms. Once they were out of sight Nabiki ran over to a previously rented pavilion and contacted the people within. 

“They’re here. Set up the stuff and get ready,” Nabiki told the men.

“How are we going to know who it is?” One of the men asked.

“Trust me, you’ll know when they come out,” she reassured him as she herded the men and their equipment to the front of the changing rooms.

Inside the women’s side of the changing room Ranma-chan opened her package and examined the strings attached to tiny pieces of cloth inside. “And this is supposed to cover up what, my navel?” She thought as she looked in the package searching for something larger, like maybe a fig leaf, to hide some of her body. The search was futile, there was nothing else inside. Giving a sigh she changed into her Nabiki-Wear and headed out emerging at the same time Shampoo-kun came out from his side of the changing rooms.

“Oh! You make interesting use of dental floss Ranma,” he said as he examined the short red head more closely.

“Ha, ha,” she said dryly. “I see you weren’t given much to leave to the imagination either,” Looking over Shampoo-kun she saw he had on a pair very tight speedo trunks and the shirt he came in with, the rest of the clothes tucked under his arm.

Shampoo-kun wriggled around uncomfortably. “It not like Shampoo no wear tight things before. It just I not used to having,” he thought for a moment to choose the right words, “so much down there. It awkward.” 

Ranma-chan nodded her head in understanding, then started wriggling uncomfortably herself. “Geez! How do you guys wear this stuff without it running up your rear end? It’s like some kind of tight wedgie or something.” She managed to rearrange that part of her string bikini so it no longer caused discomfort as the duo headed outside.

“There they are! Start filming.” The camera crews began taking photos, much to the surprise of the objects of the impromptu shoot, Shampoo-kun and Ranma-chan.

“Just what do you perverts think you’re doing!” Ranma-chan shouted. She was not used to being suddenly accosted in this manner. It felt a little like Happosai multiplied by ten. Just as she was deciding what to do with the pack of photographers Nabiki made her way through them and confronted the duo. 

“Come on you guys, smile for the camera,” she asked. 

The light suddenly came on in Ranma-chan’s head. “So this is why you wanted us along on the trip. You wanted a bunch of pictures of the two of us in next to nothing, you sick pervert.”

“Hey now,” Nabiki said. “It’s not like I enjoy looking at the two of you. You’re popular among our classmates so I decided to give them what they want. A swimsuit calendar. It’s not my fault you two are irresistible. I’m just a young girl trying to make a living by giving the people what they want.”

“You’re a con artist that misleads and manipulates people into doing her bidding,” Ranma-chan shot back.

Nabiki moved closer to her, a scowl on the middle Tendo’s brow. “I didn’t hear you complain when I offered to take you to the beach. For nothing I might add. This is how I intend to pay for it.”

“You could have told us.”

“Would you have agreed?” Nabiki asked.

“Of course not!” Ranma-chan said. “I hate being put on display like a piece of meat.”

“I feel same way,” Shampoo-kun added.

A devious look entered Nabiki’s eyes. “I see. You two are ashamed of your bodies. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“Hey! That ain’t what I meant!” Ranma-chan said, offended.

“Sham…mean Ranma not ashamed of body. I prove.” And with that he took off his shirt and began posing for the photographers. Not to be outdone Ranma-chan began doing the same thing. 

“Sometimes it’s too easy.” Nabiki smiled to herself.

Over by the blankets, Akane’s face began twitching at the exhibition the two were putting on. “I don’t believe this. Don’t those two have any shame?”

Soun was about to agree when he noticed Kasumi staring oddly at something. “What’s wrong?” He asked her.

Kasumi nearly jumped at the sound of her father’s voice. “N…nothing. Nothing at all.”

“It looked like you were staring sort of oddly at Shampoo.” 

A blush rose to her face. “N…no. No. I was just concerned about him. I mean her. I wasn’t staring at anything,” she answered quickly while sweating appreciably. “I need to take a cold shower. I mean a cold dip,” she quickly corrected herself. “In the nice ocean. Yes that’s it. A nice dip in a cold ocean.” She got up and quickly headed into the water.

Soun looked at Genma. “Was it just me or did Kasumi actually seem nervous?”

“That’s difficult to believe. Maybe she was just feeling a little hot,” Genma suggested.

Kasumi jumped into the water and immediately started swimming. Proper young women simply did not take notice of THAT sort of thing. Especially when it involved Shampoo, who was a girl and not a boy to begin with. If only the trunks had not been so tight…

Minami got out of the car and spotted the group of photographers clustered around the new models and decided to investigate. She turned to her companion, Gosunkugi. “Get the stuff out of the car and take it down to the beach. I’ll join you in a little while.” 

“Not to be rude,” Gosunkugi mentioned, “but what does this have to do with being an apprentice?”

Minami put her hands on her hips in disgust. “I’m sorry. Who’s the master and who’s the student here?” 

He looked down at the ground in shame. “Sorry. I won’t let that happen again.” He moved to obey the command.

Minami made her way to the photo shoot and examined the centers of attention. “Hey guys I…Hello!” She noticed Shampoo-kun and the way he filled out his trunks, especially the trunks. She gave him a knowing grin. “Well, well, well. You’re going to make some lucky woman very happy, if you know what I mean.” She smiled sarcastically at Shampoo-kun.

“That not funny, Minami,” Shampoo-kun growled.

“I’ll see you guys later.” She waved to them and headed down to the seaside where Gosunkugi was setting out the beach equipment.

After several hundred rolls of film the crews left, allowing Shampoo-kun and Ranma-chan an opportunity to make their way back to the others. Akane turned her head away from Ranma-chan as she sat down next to her. 

“What’d I do now?” Ranma-chan asked.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Akane harumphed and continued looking away.

“Where Kasumi?” Shampoo-kun asked. 

“She decided to go for a swim.” Genma pointed to where the girl was out in the ocean. 

“That sound like good idea. Ranma want to come?” he asked.

Ranma-chan was looking further down the beach at a surfboard rental shop. “No thanks. I got something better in mind.”

Shampoo-kun shrugged and went into the ocean. Ukyou made certain it was all right with Ryouga that she head on down into the ocean as well, and asked Akane to take him wherever he wanted to go. Wandering off near the shoreline could land Ryouga anywhere in the world given his mysterious ability to cross oceans without realizing it. Ranma-chan headed down to the rental store, giving Akane one last look. 

“I’d invite you along if it wasn’t for the fact you swim like a rock,” she shouted as she went running off to rent a surfboard.

“Why that rotten jerk!” Akane spluttered. “It’s not my fault I don’t know how to swim.” As Akane punched the umbrella pole in a fit of anger the wrist with the bracelet also struck against the pole, knocking loose one of the pills. No one noticed it land in some of the food they had brought to the shore.

Ranma-chan went into the seafood and surfboard rental shop, rented a board, and rushed past an aquarium transport truck with a shark in the tank. 

She failed to notice the chunk missing out of the dorsal fin.

The zoo attendants, Shinya, Fuji, and Kamiya had sat down to grab a bite to eat at Iizuka’s Seafood and Surfboard Rental Shop. They had been instructed to ship the shark to the new aquarium that was being built just down the road, and figured this would be the last time they would have a chance to eat before the trio would spend the rest of the afternoon transferring the shark from one tank to another. The three of them had just been served their food and began to dig in. 

“Think we should have covered the shark tank?” Fuji asked.

“Nah. Da kids will get a kick out of seeing a real live shark,” Kamiya answered.

Shinya noticed Ranma-chan rent the surfboard and head out to the shore, passing by the truck with the tank. “She sure was cute,” he said to his two partners.

“A little young if you ask me,” Fuji commented.

Shinya picked at his food a bit. “I heard there’s some kind of superhero that can control fish.”

“Yeah. His name’s Aqua-Velva or somethin’,” Kamiya replied.

“Aquaman,” Fuji corrected.

“That’s what I said. Or somethin’.” 

“I wish I had super powers like that,” Shinya sighed.

Kamiya turned to him. “Why would ya want to have a stoopid super power like da ability to control seafood? Dat’s as stoopid as making plants grow quick or controlling static electricity.”

“It’s the only way I can see of ruling the world,” Shinya informed him.

“Actually,” Fuji began. “you would be better served doing it by undermining existing governments and having them overthrown. Of course you would have to do it through socio-economic means to give yourself maximum effect. Here is how I would go about it,” and with that he went into a detailed plan of how to achieve global domination, ignoring some kind of commotion outside.

“You’ve been giving dis a lotta thought?” Kamiya suggested.

Fuji shrugged. “Not really. I kind of came up with it on the spur of the moment.”

Shinya looked heartbroken. “That sounds like a lot of work.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Fuji said, continuing to ignore the sounds of people panicking outside. “The way I see it, you get people to obey ya by carrying around a big gun and threatening them with it.”

Shinya smiled. “Now that I can relate to.” The sound of glass breaking was heard outside, but none of the zoo people noticed.

The trio finished lunch, paid the bill, and went outside. Shinya went up to the truck and tank first. “Ummm, guys. When we left, this tank had a shark in it instead of a hole, right?”

Kamiya and Fuji nodded in agreement. The trio then noticed a trail of water going over the side of the dock the truck sat on and into the water. All three looked out at the ocean. 

“Do you think maybe we should rent a boat and go after him?” Shinya asked.

Kamiya looked at him incredulously. “Do our names sound like Brody, Quint, and Hooper to ya?”

The trio looked out into the ocean and shook their heads.

Kasumi had gone out a good distance from shore and began floating, relaxing, and allowing her mind to wander to many subjects. “Things are good. Everyone’s healthy. Ranma and Akane are getting along a lot better now. Ranma and Shampoo are getting along, again. So many changes over the last few months.” She smiled to herself. “Including my engagement.” Kasumi allowed her mind to drift back to the day of the trio’s arrival. “Shampoo was so handsome. His lips. Those eyes that never change. The way he…no, she moved, so graceful yet with a hint of power behind each step. Such a disappointment to learn he turned into a girl. No! Wait. She turns into a boy.”

Kasumi forced herself out of the memory. Why was thinking about Shampoo’s gender so confusing all of a sudden? True, every now and then she would think of Shampoo in male terms, but it was only because Kasumi had first met Shampoo as a boy. It was only natural she would make that mistake occasionally, but all of a sudden it was becoming a major problem. Perhaps it had to do with seeing him wear so little today. There were occasions where she had seen Shampoo as a male without his shirt on. She felt a little blush at that. The first time it had happened she stared at his chest for several seconds before realizing what she was doing, and how rude and improper it was. She did notice his chest and shoulders were certainly well developed. Not as much as Ryouga’s but a little larger than Ranma’s. Just perfect really, good development without too much mass. His arms and legs were the same way. They were large, but not the way a bodybuilder’s were. Especially the legs. The way his muscles would tense up when he would go for a kick when sparring. The way his hamstrings led up to his…

Kasumi abruptly broke off that particular thought and went to his hands. She remembered the first time he had held her hand. Shampoo-kun had been helping her up when she had fallen down. They were strong, yet gentle. There had been a little tremble when he first made contact with her back then. She could almost feel those hands now, grabbing her hips. And that was when she suddenly realized something. Someone was grabbing her hips. She somehow managed to shoot up almost out of the water in surprise from the contact. Shampoo-kun broke the surface of the water with a wide grin on his face.

“Got you! You too much daydreaming, Kasumi.” He was going to continue laughing when he realized she looked more scared than startled. Even now she was continuing to back away from him. “What wrong?”

She gave a nervous little laugh. “Nothing’s wrong. Why would anything be wrong?” 

That did nothing to ease Shampoo-kun. Something was up. He tried to get closer only to see her back away further. “Did Shampoo do something bad? I sorry if I scare you. I not mean too.” He gave her a hurt look. There was nothing in the world that would make him want to harm her. She was his closest friend after Ranma, and Ranma sort of fell into a different category now. Kasumi was at least the best female friend he had, and if he had somehow offended her he wanted to know so he could apologize.

Kasumi stopped moving away when she saw the hurt expression he bore. How could she hope to explain the reason she was backing off? She didn’t even understand it herself. Something inside her head that told her distance would be a good thing to have, not a bad one, but seeing Shampoo-kun look at her in such a hurt fashion caused her to override that part of her brain. She swam a little closer. 

“You just startled me. That’s all.” Part of her felt horrible about lying. She hated to do it, but under the circumstances it really was for the best, at least for right now. Kasumi did notice the fact her heart was beginning to race now as he drew closer. Thankfully he stopped while leaving a little bit of distance between them. It appeared he was about to say something further when Ranma-chan passed by, in the distance, on her surfboard. The red head waved at the duo.

“Watch me shoot the curl!” she yelled, then rode a wave in. After landing, she quickly headed out once more to catch another big wave.

“Ranma do that pretty good,” Shampoo-kun commented. 

Kasumi just nodded her head in response. Shampoo-kun was closer now, and for the life of her she could not tell if it was the waves, Shampoo-kun, or herself that had closed the distance between the two of them. She knew her conscious mind wanted distance between the two of them, but she was also horrified to learn that somewhere inside part of her actually wanted to get closer to him. Shampoo-kun swam a little closer on his own. The war within Kasumi was so great she remained motionless, which meant he was closing the distance. It was a great relief when he stopped because the thirty foot shark got between them and swam on past. That relief lasted only a moment as reality set back in.

Shampoo-kun looked in fear at the giant fish and attempted to put himself between it and Kasumi. “Swim back to shore. I try to get his attention,” he told Kasumi. 

“I…I don’t want you to…” Kasumi started to say, but was cut off.

“No argue! Do it now!”

As much as she wanted to stay at Shampoo-kun’s side she obeyed the order. She started to swim towards shore, praying with all her might that Shampoo-kun would be all right.

Shampoo-kun watched the shark swim past. He was certain it would circle around again to at least check out its potential prey one more time, which was when he would start splashing in the water and attract the shark. That would buy Kasumi all the time she needed. Shampoo-kun continued watching the shark when its dorsal fin broke the surface. It took only a moment for recognition to register. There was a chunk missing out of the fin. The shark was an old acquaintance. Shampoo-kun was not given much time to wonder about how it ended up in the ocean when he realized the shark wanted to renew an old acquaintance as well, only the subject was not Shampoo-kun.

The shark made a beeline for Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan was lying on her board, paddling, when she heard someone shouting at her. She looked up to see Shampoo-kun waving frantically at her. Ranma-chan did what any normal person would do in a situation like that, she sat up and waved back. It took her a moment to realize Shampoo-kun was shouting something at her. Even cupping her hand to her ear was not enough to make out the words. She turned back to start paddling again when she saw the huge head of the shark burst out of the water and snap its jaws shut on the head of Ranma-chan’s surfboard. Its bite fell two inches short of taking off her right hand, but did succeed in eating the front of the board.

Fear took over as Ranma-chan instinctively modified the Amaguriken so she could use it to propel her board away from the giant fish. She was still a good distance from land and her initial direction away from the shark was also away from shore. It would take her at least a little while before she could make it back. What was worse was that as the shark bore down on Ranma-chan from behind, it proved itself slightly faster. It began chomping at Ranma-chan, devouring in inch of the board with each snap of its jaws. If she tried to turn she would lose enough speed that the shark would swallow her for certain. 

It was turning into a bad day.

Kunou stood at the forefront of the family’s newest yacht, gazing out at the ocean with his spyglass, captain of his own destiny, boldly searching the horizon for any who would dare oppose him. 

There was no one else on the horizon. There was, however, a couple of people on the boat that might impugn his greatness.

Kodachi lay back on her lounge chair, catching as much sun as she could. She was dressed in a green two piece bikini as she smiled, catching the rays of the sun. Mousse was dressed somewhat more conservatively in blue shorts and a shirt with long loose sleeves.

“Mousse-sama. Why don’t you lie next to me and take off that shirt? Surely you are hot and would like to relax a bit.”

“I’m fine. Thanks anyway,” he answered.

Kodachi shook her head. Mousse had been in a horrible depression since the events of the Nyanniichuan. She had tried to explain to him why it was all for the best that Shampoo refused the gift (and the marriage. Kodachi would have had to act quickly to make certain Shampoo would have been unable to attend the ceremony. Most likely in a permanent fashion) but Mousse never saw it that way. So Kodachi managed to drag him out here in the hopes that he would have a good time. Though he was in higher spirits now, he still had a ways to go before she would consider him cured. Perhaps some sort of stimulant was in order, though curiously she was reluctant to drug him. She knew why. That night in Hawaii. Despite what he insisted, Kodachi had used only a very mild aphrodisiac, something to break the ice. At best it should have produced a little bit of kissing, maybe some heavy necking. The result was far and beyond what it should have gained. Far and beyond. She wanted him to do that to her again, willingly. She knew if she could get to him once she could do it again. It was only a matter of time.

Kunou had come to the beach because Nabiki had said that both of his love goddesses would be in attendance at the shore. So he stood at the bow, continuing to scan the shore until his eyes alighted upon a commotion in the water a distance away from the boat. Focusing his spyglass on it he discovered what the disruption was.

“My beloved Shampoo is under attack!”

“WHAT!!!” Mousse stood next to Kunou and attempted to spot her. Unfortunately he looked in the wrong direction.

“Knave! It’s out there!” he pointed Mousse in the right direction, but the distance was too great for him to make out what was going on. 

“Give me something that will kill a shark!” Kunou roared in frustration.

“I have something. I know it!” Mousse started going through the pockets of his shirt. He pulled out knives, daggers, and chains.

“Mousse-sama!” Kodachi began.

“Not now.” He continued throwing out objects, a hubcap, a trident (the weapon, not the gum), a harp.

“Mousse-sama.”

“I said not now!” He pulled out a harpoon, but the shark was too far away and he didn’t have a gun. His continued search revealed a computer, some Trident (the gum, not the weapon) a pair of handcuffs and some lubricant (Kodachi snared those with her ribbon.), and a walkie talkie. 

“Mousse-sama. You don’t want to do this,” Kodachi warned.

Mousse turned in anger to her as he continued going through his shirt. “Look! I know you have a problem with Shampoo. It doesn’t matter. I will save her no matter what so leave me alone.”

Kodachi humphed and began spinning the handcuffs on her finger. If he was going to ignore her it would serve him right.

Mousse pulled out a “Human Cannonball” cannon, a depth charge and finally alighted upon the object he needed, a “smart” torpedo. Mousse armed its automatic targeting system, then allowed Kunou to take the object and aim it in the direction they wanted to go.

Ranma-chan could feel the last inch of board behind her feet give way to the shark’s jaws. This was it. There was nothing left to do, and she had almost made it to shore too. Ranma-chan admitted to herself this was definitely not the way to go. Evidently biting a shark was not such a hot idea since this one decided to hunt her down and bite back. Just as she felt its breath on the back of her neck an explosion erupted behind her, propelling the shark through the air and forcing Ranma-chan to shore on the remains of the surfboard. Akane was the first to her side.

“Ranma! Are you all right?” 

Ranma-chan sat there in shock for a minute and looked at the surfboard. Finally she collected enough of herself to speak. “Man! There goes my deposit.”

Akane bashed her in the head with the remains of the board.

The shark was propelled through the air in a high arc as the torpedo caught him from behind and detonated. Fortunately, it had lived in Nerima so long it absorbed some of the ability to survive explosions without lasting harm that most residents seemed to gain. Its trajectory aimed it for its original container on the back of the transport vehicle. It landed with a thud in the glass tank. The three zookeepers looked at it in amazement.

Fuji was the first to recover. “Quick! Duct tape that hole and fill the tank with water. We got us a shark to deliver.” 

The shark would have seconded the motion if he had been conscious.

Kunou smiled at the resulting explosion. “We did save her life, my blind comrade in arms. Well done!”

Mousse was smiling just as wide until Kodachi decided it was time to bust his bubble.   
“Brother dear, what hair color does your beloved Shampoo have?”

“It is the fieriest red, which matches the fair damsel’s spirit.” He allowed himself to fantasize running his hands through her hair as the first vestiges of realization dawned upon Mousse.

“Mousse-sama. Do you remember what color your beloved,” she allowed the last word to roll contemptuously off her tongue, “Shampoo’s hair is?”

“Oh no!” His voice took on the tiniest bit of agony.

“Yes, darling. I’m afraid you were instrumental in saving the life of your greatest enemy, Ranma Saotome.”

Mousse began wailing at the highest pitch he could muster. Kodachi’s anger at him melted as she moved to console him, gently hugging his head between her breasts. “Poor baby. Let your little Kodi-chan take care of you.” Much to her delight he did not move away.

“Hold knave!” Kunou commanded to Mousse. “You are in the presence of her older brother. The scene before my eyes cannot be tolerated.”

Kodachi turned her attention to Kunou. “Don’t worry brother dear. Your eyes won’t have to tolerate it any longer.”

“Good!”

Shampoo-kun made it to shore as quickly as he could to check on Ranma-chan. He walked out of the ocean and towards her when he heard a high pitched whistling. “What tha…” was all he was able to get out as Kunou, shot out from the ‘Human Cannonball’ cannon, landed on top of him.

Kunou shook his head as he recovered. “That was not the solution I was seeking when I mentioned that such behavior should not go on before me.” He at last focused upon Ranma-chan. 

“Oh my Shampoo! How I feared for your safety!” Kunou grabbed and continued on about his worry. The speech did not last long as Ranma-chan buried him in the sand the hard way, by stomping him into it.

“That’s for attacking Sh…I mean Ranma, and for hugging me you jerk!” she shouted at his sprawled out form. She quickly walked over to Ryouga and his backpack, rifled through it over the lost one’s protests, and found a coil of rope. She then proceeded to tie Kunou to the remains of the surfboard and threw it out into the ocean. 

“That takes care of that for a while. With any luck he won’t be able to untie himself until New Zealand,” she said as Kunou’s body followed the current out to sea. Ranma-chan moved to help Shampoo-kun when a horde of girls ran over her on their way to check out Shampoo-kun’s condition as well. Ranma-chan spat out some sand as she picked herself up. Looking over the group she recognized them as all attending Furinkan. She was about to ask why they were all here when she found herself surrounded as well, this group being composed of Furinkan boys. 

“What are you all doing here?” she managed to get out.

One of them spoke up. “Nabiki sold us,” he stopped and corrected himself. “I mean told us you were here for some swimsuit shoot. We just wanted to watch professional photographers in action.”

“Yeah! Right! Try you’re here to ogle me,” she silently thought to herself. The way the guys were hanging all over her told her it was going to be an even worse day. The vacation was rapidly turning into the usual brand of chaos that followed her around.

Kasumi hung back from the crowd that had formed around Shampoo-kun. She was about to go over and make certain he was all right from Kunou’s impromptu landing when the pack of women formed around him and began to comfort him. She felt the faintest pang of jealousy appear, but quickly suppressed it. Distance was what she needed from Shampoo-kun. The less she had to do with him the better, at least for a little while.

The jeep screeched through the parking lot. Kaede shook her fist and yelled back in the direction she had just driven from. “You better learn to move faster than that if you’re going to be crossing the street, old lady!”

Ayeka gripped the armrest with white knuckles as the Driver from Hell flew into a parking space and stopped. Try as she might, she still could not pry her fingers off the armrest. “She had a walker, Kaede.”

“A poor excuse for making a gal drive under forty miles an hour!” Kaede shot back.

“In a parking lot?” Ayeka asked.

Kyoko appeared just as scared as Ayeka. “This trip usually takes two hours. You made it in just over half an hour. Haven’t you ever heard of speed limits?!”

“Duh!” Kaede said as she nodded her head. “Of course I have. If you go too fast your engine blows up. That’s what red lines are for.”

Megumi finally gave up the ghost as she threw up over the side of the jeep. Only Capt. Ai, with her nerves of steel, seemed unaffected by Kaede’s driving.

The Furinkan Cheerleader squad spotted Shampoo-kun and quickly took off their shirts and shorts to reveal their bathing suits underneath. Ai wore the most revealing suit by far, rivaled in lack of covered area by Ranma-chan’s own swimwear. The others ran down to the Shampoo-kun leaving only Ai and Kyoko behind. 

Ai finally spotted what she was looking for. “There’s Ryouga.” Nabiki had done her job well. Inside cheerleader information for the little favor of bringing Ryouga and Kuonji to the beach. A good deal.

Kyoko started to shift her feet nervously. “Do you think he wants me to visit him?”

“Of course he does,” Ai reassured her. “He’s sitting all alone, waiting for the right girl to pick him up. Now remember, try to get him away from that group of people he’s with. The two of you are going to want some privacy.”

“Right!” Kyoko grabbed her things and ran down towards Ryouga. “Ryouga-kun! Look who’s here!”

Ai watched her teammate converse with the lost one, then convince him to ‘help’ her set up her beach towel that was large enough for two. It took only a few moments to get him to sit peacefully next to her as the two began to talk. Ai searched around. Things would not be complete until one last person was present. At last she spotted Ukyou emerging from the ocean and decided it would be more fun harassing the chef than stunning Shampoo-kun with her figure, at least for the moment.

Ukyou dried herself off, grabbed a bottle of suntan lotion, and began looking for Ryouga, resorting to asking Akane where he went. Akane pointed to where he had sat down next to Kyoko. She reassured Ukyou that the cheerleader promised to keep a close eye on Ryouga and not let him wander off.

Ukyou began a diatribe. “Why that rotten, worthless…”

“Hello Kuonji,” Ai cheerfully greeted. “You actually look like a girl in that swimsuit. Go figure.”

Ukyou stared evilly at the captain. “So putting those two together was your doing?”

Ai smiled at that. “Nope. She honestly likes him, and it appears he enjoys her company as well. Are you going to try to win your boyfriend back?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Ukyou growled.

“Then why are you jealous?”

“I’m not jealous,” she said as the bottle of lotion crumpled in her grip, shooting lotion high in the air.

“I see,” Ai’s smile grew even wider. “Then you have no reason to come between them.”

“Get out of here!” Ukyou shouted as she balled up her fists, threatening violence. 

Ai held up her hands in a warding gesture. “All right. All right. I’ll leave.

True to her word, Ai left as Ukyou gazed towards Ryouga with a heartbroken look.

Ranma-chan was getting sick and tired of all the attention she was receiving from the male population on the beach. She managed to make eye contact with Shampoo-kun who wore the same weary expression. Ranma-chan gave a conspiratory wink to Shampoo-kun and was rewarded with a curt nod. Time to set the plan in action.

“LOOK!” Ranma-chan pointed to the sky. “IT’S HALLEY’S COMET!!!”

Everyone’s heads snapped up as they fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book. When they realized there was no celestial phenomenon everyone turned back to Ranma-chan for answers. She had already made good her escape with Shampoo-kun. 

The duo leaped off at top speed, covering enough distance to take them out of sight of the groups of admirers, and headed down the shore. The crowds thinned out to almost nothing as the beach became more rocky, eventually ending at a small craggy promontory that faded back onto shore. The two looked at one another and landed on the top within two leaps.

Ranma-chan examined the top. Rocks were strewn everywhere, but there were several softer spots ideal for relaxing. She went to lie down on one of the spots when Shampoo-kun stopped her. 

“I have blanket.” He lay it down for Ranma-chan who graciously accepted. 

“Where’d you get it?”

“Spatula Girl give when Shampoo go past,” he answered.

Akane looked at the irate Ukyou with whom she was now sharing her beach blanket. “What happened to yours?”

“The dead Amazon that lives at your place stole it out from under me, while I was on it!” Ukyou spat out some sand that was still in her mouth. “Took my only other bottle of lotion too, the bimbo!”

Ranma-chan lay down on her stomach allowing the rays of the sun to strike her back. “Peace at last. That was a busy, what, two hours we had? Some vacation,” she sighed. 

“You better put on lotion,” Shampoo-kun warned.

“Nah! I’m fine.” She waved her companion off.

Shampoo-kun sighed to himself. One thing he agreed with Akane was that Ranma-chan was oftentimes too stubborn to use good advice. Ranma-chan’s blasted ego convinced him she was always right. Shampoo-kun thought for a moment how best to convince her to take the advice. It did not take long.

“Shampoo seem to remember last time Ranma get sunburned.”

Ranma-chan grumbled a little as the memory returned to her. It had been a bright sunny day in China and she had decided to take off her shirt (while in male form) and work out under the sun. Unfortunately, she had lost track of time and had ended up a deep shade of red.

“Pop sure have fun time with his lobster colored son,” Shampoo-kun continued.

Ranma-chan remembered it well and held out her hand. “Give me the lotion.”

Shampoo-kun chose to add one more comment. “Ranma squeal like little piggy when he get hit like that.”

“Just give me the lotion!” She had no doubt her father would take the opportunity to use a bunch of open hand slaps in their next sparring match if she turned out sunburned. Just like the last time.

Shampoo-kun gave a smile of satisfaction at her. “Lay down. I put lotion on.”

Ranma-chan did as she was asked and lay down on her stomach as she felt Shampoo-kun squirt the lotion on her back. His hands played softly up and down her skin as he worked the liquid over her back, making certain to get every spot on her back and side. Ranma-chan found herself enjoying the touch when she felt Shampoo-kun untie her top.

“Hey! What do ya think you’re doing?” She turned her head as far as she could to look at Shampoo-kun. Was the Amazon turning into a pervert?

He just looked at her innocently. “Do you want to explain what you doing with tan lines on you back?”

Ranma-chan gave a nervous little laugh at that. It would be kind of hard to explain why she had bikini lines at the public baths if she had to use them. Given the hot water would invariably fail at the worst possible times at the Tendo dojo, it was almost certain they would break down if she returned with the embarrassing marks. 

“Thanks for looking out for me.” And with that she relaxed, allowing Shampoo-kun to rub the lotion over the area once again. The motion of his hands switched from a gentle rubbing to a more powerful kneading motion as he began massaging Ranma-chan’s shoulders. She felt unrealized tension release from the expert motion of the Amazon’s hands. 

“That feels good,” she moaned as she felt herself slowly becoming drowsy. Shampoo-kun’s gentle hands pushed and twisted muscle, relaxing her further as the sun beat down on her form. “Magic fingers,” she mumbled.

Shampoo-kun smiled at the girl’s gentle purring as she enjoyed the gentle massage. Ranma-chan looked radiant as she lay under the sun. Her crimson hair seemed to flash in the sun, eliciting even more joy in the Amazon. She could be beautiful without trying. The only time Ranma-chan ever actually tried to look pretty while she was female was in order to impress someone, or try to get free food. Otherwise forget about it. Shampoo-kun still remembered the time he had to defend Ranma-chan from Nabiki’s attempts to get her in all sorts of dresses and other odd clothing to take pictures. Some of them were cute, but the dominatrix gear was really over the edge. Though when Nabiki mentioned how much Kunou would pay for some of the photos Shampoo-kun had almost let it pass. It was astounding what the bokken wielding idiot would pay.

“Ranma?” he asked softly. Getting no response he said her name more loudly. Still nothing. He was about to shake her when he finally got a reply, a loud snore. Shampoo-kun briefly contemplated waking her, but then reconsidered. It had been a long afternoon, especially for the red head. He had been with Ranma-chan long enough to tell when something really bothered her, no matter how much she tried to hide it. The shark incident had done exactly that. It had terrified Shampoo-kun when it passed by and it had not gone out of its way to attack him. The red haired girl must have been scared out of her mind, not that she would ever admit it, the pig headed fool. But now she was relaxed at last, and woe betide anyone that dared harass her now. They would suffer Shampoo-kun’s wrath. Anyone. 

Maybe he was being overprotective, but it did not matter to him. Ranma-chan was vulnerable now, trusting Shampoo-kun to watch over her. A responsibility he took seriously. He relaxed a little. This was one of the rare times that he could enjoy staring at his female companion without risk of being interrupted by friend or foe alike. He examined the sleeping girl’s face more closely. She really was beautiful. He allowed himself the luxury of playing a finger along her lips. Ranma’s faint pout was lost when he transformed from boy to girl. Not that it mattered to Shampoo-kun, those lips were appealing in either form. There was something he had not noticed before as the girl lay there sleeping. It took a moment to realize what it was. Ranma-chan’s face was relaxed. He had not perceived it before, but there was usually some tension in Ranma’s face, boy- type or girl-type. Now it was missing. A vacation was exactly what she needed. 

Shampoo-kun let his eyes roam over Ranma-chan’s form once more. Her shoulders were broad for a girl, despite her short stature, her back was smooth, those long, well-muscled legs, her…well, her butt was cute in either form. That was he realized something was happening to him. Ranma-chan may have been in girl form, but it did not matter to Shampoo-kun. For the first time in his life he was enjoying a woman’s appearance in a sexual way. That was a little unnerving. If it had been anyone other than Ranma it would have been cause for concern, but since he was really a boy it did not count. Any attraction could be rationalized by the fact Shampoo-kun was just as attracted to the male form as well. 

Thinking of which, there was one thing Shampoo-kun had forgotten to do. He had been so concerned with Ranma-chan’s upper body he had overlooked taking care of the rest of her. If she was still awake she might have protested, but since the red head was at rest there was no cause for alarm. After all, Shampoo-kun would never take advantage of her in that way. He squirted some lotion in his hands and began rubbing it in when he felt a discomfort in his trunks. He was going to have to have a talk with Nabiki about them. They left nothing to the imagination and really were too tight, as was being proven by the increasing discomfort he felt now. 

Ranma-chan awakened after about an hour of rest. She smiled at Shampoo-kun who was still sitting next to her. 

“You look much better Ranma.” Shampoo-kun had spent the whole time watching her sleep. Not a single moment felt wasted. 

“Yeah. Feel a whole lot better too.” She held onto her top and sat up. “I’m going to have to do my front too, doing my back won’t do much good if I don’t do the other side.”

Shampoo-kun nodded his head in agreement.

Ranma-chan shook her head. Shampoo-kun was not getting the message. “I’d like some privacy.”

His eyebrows shot up. “You never modest around me before.”

“Well,” Ranma-chan squirmed a little. “After being leered at all day, I’d be kind of uncomfortable, even if it is only you.”

Shampoo-kun gave an inaudible sigh and moved off a little way. “I stick around and keep watch. Make sure no one disturb. That all right?”

“Yeah. I appreciate it. Just don’t look.” As she lotioned up and lay back she was a little surprised. Maybe it was because she was in a public place, but it was unusual that she would feel so uncomfortable with only Shampoo-kun around. After all, he really was a girl and Ranma-chan was not really a girl, so her state of dress shouldn’t matter that much.

After another hour, the duo made their way back to the main beach just in time to see a volleyball game break out between two groups. The Furinkan Cheerleaders, minus Kyoko who was still captivated by Ryouga, and their opponents: Akane, Ukyou, and Minami.

“Looks like Akane needs help if that’s all the support she’s got.” Ranma-chan said and rushed over to help out.

“I going to grab something to eat.” Shampoo-kun made his way over to where the remaining Tendos and Genma were sitting and sat down next to Kasumi. “Anything left to eat?”

Kasumi smiled. She was over whatever had affected her earlier in the day. “Yes. I saved some for both of us.”

“You not have to wait for me.” Shampoo-kun was flattered that Kasumi would wait just for him. 

“I wasn’t hungry then,” she said as she opened some containers that she had saved some food in. It was a struggle to keep Genma from eating everything until the others had a chance to dine. She gave Shampoo-kun a plate then helped herself to some of he food. With the first bite she took she felt something large slide down her throat, causing her to gag slightly. 

Shampoo-kun looked on in concern. “Is you all right?”

Kasumi turned to answer him. When her eyes landed upon him all of the logic portions of her mind shut down momentarily. A new flood of emotions welled up within her. 

“Ohmyohmyohmy! I never quite realized just how perfect he is,” she silently thought to herself. One other thought overrode all the others within her: she had to get Shampoo-kun alone. 

“Let’s go for a walk.” And without waiting for a response she grabbed Shampoo-kun by the arm and pulled him to his feet. When he got to a vertical base he was dragged down the shore in the direction he had just come from.

“But I no had chance to eat,” he protested as she continued pulling him away from everyone else and down the shoreline.

“Hmm! That was unusual,” Genma said as he began to scarf down the recently departed’s plates.

Akane and Ranma-chan looked one another over.

“Where were you all this time?” Akane asked with more than a little bit of accusation in her voice.

“I was getting a tan. In private.” 

“Where was Shampoo then?” she asked, the accusatory tone in her voice increasing.

“Umm,” Ranma-chan began hesitantly. “Well she was there too. Aside from her it was private.” 

“I can image,” she leveled an icy glare at Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan did not get a chance to retort as a high scream erupted from Kyoko.

“What’s wrong?!” Ukyou shouted over her way.

“Something happened to Ryouga,” she began to cry. “He was putting suntan lotion on me when his nose started bleeding and he passed out.”

Ukyou waved her off. “That always happens. Don’t worry about it.” she said. Then thought. “ I hope the jerk bleeds to death.”

The volley ball game was finally about to start. Just before the first serve another player volunteered to join Akane’s squad. Gosunkugi ran over and shouted about joining.

Minami gave a wolf whistle as he approached. “Hey gals! Look at those skinny white legs.”

“Come on Minami, you’re being too hard on the guy.” Akane began addressing Gosunkugi. “You’re welcome to join our team.”

The game began. It was not long before the cheerleaders pulled ahead, due to the fact all of them were superior athletes while Minami and Gosunkugi fell victim to their better play. Ukyou and Ai played the whole game as a personal vendetta against one another, each trying to spike the ball in the other’s face.

A high return came Akane’s way. Ranma-chan, having no confidence in her abilities, moved over to hit the ball herself. The resulting collision knocked loose a second pill on the bracelet, sending it high in the air.

“Why can’t you watch where you’re going you clumsy tomboy?!” Ranma-chan barked.

“That was your fault you pervert!” Akane snapped back.

Ai raised her head to the skies as she laughed hard. “You two klutzes make it so easy to…AGK!” she choked out as the pill went down her throat.

Ukyou began pointing and laughing. “Nice job Ai. Looks like the rumors about you swallowing are true.”

Ai choked down the pill and was going to yell something back when she stopped as a lovestruck look entered her eyes. She rushed over to Ukyou and embraced her. 

“Ukyou my love! I’m sorry I was so mean to you,” Ai shouted as she grabbed the chef in a tight embrace. “Please forgive me!”

Everyone else looked on in total bewilderment as Ukyou stood motionless in shock. The shock quickly passed as she began to struggle in Ai’s grasp. “Let go of me you sick bitch!”

Ai continued her deathgrip as everyone continued to look on in shock. Ranma-chan broke the silence. “Who would have believed it?”

Megumi shook her head. “This doesn’t make any sense. Ai hates Ukyou’s guts.”

Minami’s mind was working on overdrive as she started putting things together. “Akane. Let me see that bracelet.”

Akane handed her the bracelet. Minami examined it and began asking questions. “Where did you get this?”

“I found it on the ground after our fight with Happosai,” she replied

Minami read the runes scribed on the side as Ukyou desperately attempted to remove Ai from her person. One of the volleyball poles slammed itself into the cheerleader’s head, causing her to release her grip. 

“Let go of my darling Ukyou, you mean, ugly cheerleader!” Tsubasa-pole shouted.

Ai turned to confront her attacker. “How dare you call my Ukyou your darling! DIE!” and with that she grabbed Tsubasa-pole, pounded on him hard, then threw him far off into the ocean. As she was finished a large spatula slammed into Ai’s head, knocking her out.

“You disgusting tramp! Never touch me again!” Ukyou shouted at Ai’s crumpled form.

Minami finished reading the runes. “It may not be her fault Ukyou. These pills are supposed cause love in whoever swallows them. Although it says they are only supposed to work on members of the opposite sex.”

“Ai isn’t too picky about what sex she goes out with.” Ayeka informed everyone. “Or as she likes to say, ‘I don’t have a problem finding dates on Friday nights’.”

Ukyou looked at Ai’s crumpled form in horror. “How long does it last?” she asked.

Minami read the runes once again. “There are three kinds. One lasts a moment, another a day, and the last a lifetime.”

“Which one did she swallow?” Ukyou was desperate to know. She was certain it must have been the lifetime. It would be just her luck.

“Can’t tell,” Minami said as she scratched her head. “One of them was already missing.” She pulled the last pill off the bracelet. “Only one way of finding out,” and she threw it in her mouth.

“Are you crazy?!” Ranma-chan shouted as Minami turned to the sound of her voice as a lustful gaze entered the ghost sweeper’s eyes. 

“Oh Shampoo! You are so pretty.” She began to approach Ranma-chan, causing great fear within the young martial artist.

“Wait Minami! I thought you only liked guys,” Ranma-chan said as she warded off Minami.

“But I know your secret, so it doesn’t make any difference to me,” she replied.

That was all it took for Ranma-chan’s nerves to snap. She tried to leap away but was snagged out of mid-air by a magical force and returned to Minami’s grasp. The ghost sweeper made an attempt to kiss Ranma-chan. Just as she was about to land a big kiss on her lips the ghost sweeper broke out laughing.

Ranma-chan pulled out of her grasp and pointed an accusatory finger at her. “What’s so funny?”

“You should have seen the look on your face. You’re so gullible,” she managed to choke out.

“But I thought you ate the pill,” Akane said as she walked over to Ranma-chan.

“Oh right! Like I’m that stupid. It’s still in my mouth. See?” she opened her mouth to show the pill still on it.

Akane shook her head. “That’s the sort of thing I’d expect you to pull,” she said to Ranma-chan.

“That was funny Minami,” Gosunkugi said as he slapped her in the back, with the predictable result of causing her to swallow the pill for real this time.

Minami spun in fury upon Gosunkugi. The anger only lasted a moment as her hate became love. “You are so handsome Hikaru.”

Gosunkugi chucked at that. “That’s pretty convincing. You should become an actress.”

Minami decided to convince him further by embracing him and giving him a deep passionate kiss. A huge smile creased his face as he passed out and hit the ground. The lovestruck look left Minami’s eyes as soon as his head made contact with the ground

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“You kissed Gosunkugi ya’ dumb ghost sweeper,” Ranma-chan stated flatly. She was not pleased with Minami’s behavior and was saddened it was not the lifetime pill she had swallowed.

Minami examined Gosunkugi’s form. His eyes were still open and the smile remained on his face. “It looks like he died happy. Nice to see I haven’t lost my touch.” She primped her hair a bit.

“His chest is still moving,” Akane informed her.

“Well, at least he’ll never leave my side now.” Minami shrugged. “It’ll be nice having my own personal servant. Not that he wasn’t before.”

“What about her?” Ukyou pointed to Ai’s form.

“She’s either going to love you for a day or an eternity. There’s also one other problem. There is still one other pill out there. It’s far too dangerous to leave lying around. We’d better find it before it falls into the wrong hands. 

Everyone began sifting through the sands for the pill.

Kasumi had snuggled herself under Shampoo-kun’s arm, much to the Amazon’s frustration. All day Kasumi had been acting strangely, and now was the absolute worst. He had no idea of what to do with her. The two had traveled out of sight of any other people and were near the barren area Shampoo-kun and Ranma-chan had been to earlier. He hoped she would reveal the cause of her odd behavior soon.

Kasumi sighed contentedly. Never in her entire life had she felt this wonderful. This satisfied. It was as though her eyes had been opened for the first time to what she truly wanted in life. She was with the man she loved, beyond any doubt. For her, that was all that was needed. Almost all. What they required now was some privacy. Real privacy so they could do what young couples that loved each other do next. Her eyes found the very thing she was looking for.

“Look there. A sea cave. Let’s go in!” She once again dragged Shampoo-kun along into the cave. It was a large grotto that admitted the ocean’s waves to crash near the entrance. The roar of the ocean was almost deafening as the two crawled over some rocks and made their way back into the cave, out of the outer world’s sight. 

Shampoo-kun removed himself from Kasumi’s grasp and turned directly across from her for a confrontation. “What going on Kasumi? Why you drag me out here?”

Kasumi blushed. She had never been this aggressive in anything before. “We needed some privacy.”

Shampoo-kun nodded his head. He had figured as much. Now the question remained of why they needed privacy. It must have been pretty serious if Kasumi wanted him out here. He watched her intently as she moved towards him. There was an almost alien look in Kasumi’s eyes. If he did not know any better he would have sworn it was a predatory gleam. 

She stood directly in front of him and looked deep into his eyes, bringing her hand up to gently cradle his face. She leaned forward even as Shampoo-kun’s eyes widened in surprise as he felt her gentle breath on his face. It took her a moment to remember the words she had learned when trying to understand her new housemate’s language. At last the expression came to her.

“Wo ai ni.”

Consciousness left Shampoo-kun at that moment.

Consciousness returned. Shampoo-kun focused his eyes on Kasumi crying over him. He sat up and placed a hand on her shoulder to ease her. What a horrible dream he had. In it, he and Kasumi were in a cave at the beach and she had said…

Then his eyes focused on his whereabouts. It was no dream. He was still in the cave at the beach and Kasumi was still there. The tears in her eyes were drying up as she seemed to regain some control.

“I was so worried about you,” she sobbed. “You just collapsed and I was afraid you had died or something. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

She began sniffling again as she was going to cry once more. Shampoo-kun reflexively embraced her to comfort her when he froze up. That was not the right move to make, as was readily apparent when she returned the embrace and did not let go. He gently forced apart her fingers and moved away from her. Explanations were needed.

“Why you say what you say Kasumi? Is just a joke, yes?” He prayed to every god imaginable it was a joke. A poor, horribly stupid joke.

“No. I would never joke about something like that. I love you.” 

Shampoo-kun stopped her before she could say more. “But I really a girl. You know that.”

Kasumi nodded her head. “Of course. It doesn’t matter. When true love is involved anything is possible.”

As she moved forward Shampoo-kun darted back. The hurt expression she gave cut him to the core. “What’s wrong? Don’t you think I’m pretty?” she asked, hope mixed with fear in her eyes.

Shampoo-kun looked at that face. He knew what he should say, but could not bring himself to do it. “You is very pretty,” he answered softly.

“Don’t you like me?” 

Shampoo-kun nodded his head. He knew he should be shaking it no, but again he could not bring himself to do that either. “Yes. I like you.”

“Well I love you,” she said. “You are the man I’ve been waiting for my entire life. It wasn’t easy. I saved myself for the one man who would win my heart. The one person with whom I knew I could happily spend my entire life with. I was afraid I might never find him, but now I have. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt you are, now and forever, the only one for me. I want us to…”

“NO!!!” Shampoo-kun did not want this. He did not want her to like him this way. He could hear the hammering of his heart in his ears it was pumping so powerfully. Perfume trying to run him through was less nerve wracking that what was occurring now. He considered running away when Kasumi moved forward in an attempt to get closer to him. As she did that her ankle caught between two rocks and she began to fall over. Shampoo-kun darted forward in an effort to keep her falling. He managed to maneuver himself under her, but was unable to brace himself for the force of the impact. He fell backward onto the ground with Kasumi on top of him.

“Are you all right?” she asked concern etched on her face. Shampoo-kun nodded in response. “Thank goodness,” Kasumi said, then moved her face closer to his.

Shampoo-kun felt real panic rise from within. He should push her off and run away, but part of him refused to go as he felt his own resolve weaken. Kasumi really was beautiful. Was it so wrong to have someone like her love him? He cared about her deeply, why should he not return the affection? Ranma never showed him emotions like that. He cared, but did not ever tell Shampoo-kun that he loved him, and that was what the Amazon wanted to hear. Now there was a girl before him, the most caring person he had ever met, that had just pledged her undying love for him. The words of caring felt so good. He had wanted to hear such words his entire life, and now they had been spoken to him. What sort of person was he to hear those words and complain about them?

Kasumi moved her lips closer to his. Earlier in the day he had admitted he was attracted to Ranma as a girl, so that meant he could be attracted to another woman. Kasumi’s body felt so good. Her flesh on his flesh. Her breasts pushing against the thin fabric of her suit, and that fabric pressed against him. The soft feel of her breath that tickled across the tiny hairs underneath his chin. It would be so easy to lose himself in those eyes of hers. Those deep brown eyes that seemed to care about everything in the world. He had so wanted to invite the caress of lips that loved him. 

He felt her lips brush against his as she kissed him full in the lips. For the briefest of moments he responded. His lips pressed back as he embraced her. It would be so easy to let go, to release his inhibitions and give way to that feeling which his body craved, but he would not do it. He had to resist. He stopped kissing back moments before Kasumi broke off the kiss herself. For one that was inexperienced she did it so very well.

Now there was only one chance left. His resistance would not last under another assault like that and he was frightened at what would happen if he could not leave now. He put all his effort into speaking, his voice coming out softly with what strength remained. “Kasumi. If you love me, let me go. I not ready for this. Please!” he softly gasped. Pleading with her was all he had left. If she did not move, he was not going to be able to either, though part of him unquestionably wanted her to stay. To repeat the action she had just done over and over again. To lose a part of himself to her. It would be so easy just to do what would come naturally.

She looked at him with the gentlest of gazes, understanding in her eyes. “Of course. I’m sorry. We can take it slower.” She raised herself up and tried to stand, but the ankle she twisted caused too much pain. She sat down next to Shampoo-kun. 

Concern for Kasumi came naturally as Shampoo-kun examined her foot. After a few experimental movements he gave his verdict. A sprain. Since there was no way she could even stand on her foot, let alone walk the two miles back to the others, Shampoo-kun did the only thing he could do. He picked her up and carried her. She rested her head against his chest as they made their way back, bliss written across her face.

As the couple walked back to the others, Shampoo-kun had a chance to calm down. Once both the initial shock and heat generated by the moment had passed he began to think more clearly, though the attention Kasumi gave him as she alternated between playing her fingers along his chest and nibbling on his ear did not help. He managed to tolerate the attention while concentrating on what his feelings on the matter were. He did not want a woman’s affections, even Kasumi’s. His tastes did not run that way and never had. Still, and he hated it admit it, the idea was not as appalling as it once was. A shudder of discomfort ran through him as he realized that this might be what was meant by accepting a curse, but that did not seem accurate either. He still wanted a cure more than anything in the world. Almost more than anything else.

There was also one other very important reason he could not accept Kasumi’s declaration of love. He wanted Ranma. Ranma was the one that excited him. He was the one Shampoo dreamed about, and it was always when Ranma was male and Shampoo was female. Always. Still, something had to be done about Kasumi. He could never bring himself to hurt her. Shampoo-kun owed too much and there was genuine affection for her, just not the way she wanted. 

All other thoughts had to be put aside as the pair made their way back to the others. Already Shampoo-kun could see there was a large amount of activity on the beach. He knew something had to be done about Kasumi, and soon, but this was neither the time nor place. They had almost made it to the others when he realized Kasumi was still nibbling on his ear, not an unpleasant feeling, but the action would be difficult to explain. 

“You have to stop doing that,” Shampoo-kun explained.

“Why?”

What Shampoo-kun wanted to say was because he did not love her, but still could not bring himself to articulate it. Instead what came out was, “Because we should leave it as a surprise.”

“But I want to tell everyone. Father would be so excited!” she exclaimed. 

That caused Shampoo-kun to involuntarily flinch. Soun Tendo was a strange man. There probably was a chance he would be ecstatic that he married off another daughter, especially to a martial artist that was well versed in the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. A sudden vision of Soun bawling his eyes out at Shampoo-kun and Kasumi’s wedding came to him. That vision was quickly blotted out by the realization that the more likely reaction would be for Soun to go demon form and strike Shampoo-kun dead on the spot. Definitely the worse of the two scenarios. Luckily for him Kasumi ceased her actions.

Akane and Ranma-chan looked up from their search as they spotted Shampoo-kun and Kasumi return. 

“What’s wrong?” Akane asked as she took note of her sister in Shampoo-kun’s arms.

Shampoo-kun answered for fear of what Kasumi might blurt out. “Kasumi sprain her ankle. I help her back.” He quickly tried to change the subject. “Why is everyone looking through sand?”

“We’re trying to find a magic pill that fell off of Akane’s bracelet.” Ranma-chan continued on, explaining the situation. A huge grin appeared on Shampoo-kun’s face.

“Where Minami?” Shampoo-kun asked. Ranma-chan pointed in the direction of the ghost sweeper. Shampoo-kun rushed over with Kasumi still in his grip and confronted Minami. “We need to talk private. I know where the last pill is.”

Minami went into her bag and pulled out a statue. The trio made their way to a pavilion and Minami placed the statue in the middle. “We’re now invisible and silent to the outside world. We can look and hear outside the barrier, but no one can look in.”

Shampoo-kun released Kasumi who immediately went to holding his hand. Minami understood in an instant. “So, Kasumi ate the last one and fell in love with you. This isn’t good. I want to try something.” The ghost sweeper picked up a glass of water and heated, splashing the contents on Shampoo-kun who changed. “Now, how do you feel about him?” she asked Kasumi.

Kasumi looked confusedly at Shampoo as the Amazon covered her now revealed breasts. “I know he’s still Shampoo, but things feel different.”

Minami clapped her hands. “That was easier than I expected. As long as you don’t turn into a guy she won’t be attracted to you.”

Kasumi shook her head. “Oh no. I still love Shampoo. He’s the only one I could ever love.”

Minami looked disappointed. “Okay. We’ll have to try something else. Maybe wait a day and the problem will take care of itself.”

“And if it the lifetime pill?” Shampoo asked.

“Ukyou will be a very happy gal,” Minami said. “How do you feel about same sex marriages, or almost the same in your case?” 

Shampoo shook her head in response. 

Minami suddenly became very serious. “I‘m at a loss then. I’m not sure what can be done.”

“Can you break the spell?” Shampoo asked.

Minami held up the empty bracelet. “This is old magic. Powerful stuff. I’m not sure it can be broken. Certainly not by me.”

“I don’t want it broken,” Kasumi interrupted, “I love Shampoo, and if I can’t have him,” her voice became very soft, “then I won’t have anyone.” 

“You’re more right about that than you think.” Minami explained. “I’m certain you can’t fall for anyone else while under the effects of the pill. I’m afraid you might be looking at a lifetime of loneliness. Sorry.” 

“You mean I’ll be alone?” Tears began to form in Kasumi’s eyes. “Forever?”

Kasumi felt a hand touch her face. Shampoo’s hand. “You not be alone. I won’t let you.”

Minami looked at the purple haired Amazon carefully. “You do realize what your saying, don’t you? If it’s the lifetime pill?”

Shampoo looked down to the ground and nodded her head. “I promise.” 

Kasumi gave a soft squeal of delight and embraced her. Shampoo did not return the hold, but continued to look at the ground. 

Minami decided to try to lighten the mood. “Look. This might all be for nothing. It could be she’ll only have this for a day, and even if it isn’t, there might be a way to break it. There’s a magic convention in Bolivia in a few days. I was planning to go with my father anyway, so I’ll show the bracelet around. One of the folks there has got to know of a way to break the enchantment. Heck, they’ll take it as a challenge. I’m sure the effect can at least be watered down.”

“And if it can’t?” Shampoo asked.

Minami shrugged. “Then it can’t and you’ll have to get on with your life, but I wager it can.” She gave a knowing wink to the two. “You guys can stay here for as long as you want. I’ll explain to your family that you want to hang with me and I’ll drive you back home. That way you won’t have to explain why she’s looking at you that way.” There was no way the lovestruck expression Kasumi gazed at Shampoo could be mistaken for anything else. “I’ll leave the statue here. Come out whenever you feel like it.”

Things went as Minami anticipated. When the Tendo’s and company wanted to go home they accepted the explanations, while Ai had to be physically restrained by the entire cheerleader team to keep from following Ukyou. After everyone else had left Shampoo changed back into male form at Kasumi’s behest and the two spent time around the beach, Kasumi appearing like the happiest woman on Earth while Shampoo-kun tried to keep his spirits high. He apparently convinced her to take it easy in return for just being held, a price she was more than happy to accept. Minami noticed there were even times when the sadness left his face, but only for the briefest of moments. They remained at the beach as long as they could, then headed to the dojo. Minami saw them to the door, helping Shampoo-kun convince Kasumi it would be best to maintain a low profile until they knew the duration of the pill. 

Minami gave a sad look as the two of them went inside. “What is love, and what myriad of forms does it take? Perhaps it only shows the way to what our souls truly seeks. Happiness can often be found in the one place we dare not look. Who is to say the magic is from the pill or if it is from within?” She turned and looked at Gosunkugi still in the car. “Blech. Definitely the magic’s from the pill. No way I would kiss him willingly.” She returned to the car and berated Gosunkugi for being himself.

Shampoo-kun lay on his futon. It was three A.M. and still sleep did not come. He had known it would not, but there was little else he could do. He was too afraid of what the future held.

Kasumi stared at her clock. Three A.M. it flashed back. No sleep in all that time. There was only one solution. She got out of bed and went downstairs.

Shampoo-kun heard the footsteps come down the hall as the night walker stopped at the door. There was only one person it could be. The last person he wanted to see tonight. The one person he knew would come. He ignored the first gentle rapping’s at the door, then got up and answered it. He could not leave her outside.

Kasumi looked at him with painful longing as he opened the door. She embraced him as though she were drowning and he was all that could save her. Maybe he was the only thing that could.

“What you doing here Kasumi?” he asked. “It late.”

“I need to sleep with you.” Her voice was louder than it should have been.

“I can no do that sort of thing,” he began but Kasumi cut him off.

“No silly. I meant I need to lay down next to you or I won’t get any sleep.” She smiled at him. “Please.”

“But what if your father come?” Or Ranma, or Akane, or Mousse, or any other human being.

“I’m always the first one up. I’ll be out of here before anyone else is awake,” she explained.

With a reluctant nod he ushered her in. She made a beeline for the futon and moved the covers, waiting for him to lay down first. There had been a feeling deep within his gut something like this would happen. It was why he had chosen to remain in male form this night. He lay down and made himself comfortable as Kasumi lay down next to him, her back to his own prone form. He heard a sigh of contentment emanate from her. He might as well get used to this, after all, if it was the lifetime pill this was going to be repeated many times. 

After a few moments Kasumi began to speak. “Shampoo. What I said earlier about sleeping with you, if you want to…”

Shampoo-kun cut her off as he stroked her face. “No. You are very,” he searched for the right word, “desirable, but it too soon. There be time for that later. You just rest now. You need sleep.” He allowed his arm to rest over her hip as she gave a sigh of relief and quickly dozed off. Shampoo-kun took a moment to examine the girl’s features even as he had done so with Ranma-chan earlier in the day. Kasumi was beautiful as well, though in a different way from Ranma-chan. He tried sorting out the mixture of feelings going through him. There were certainly worse fates he could think of than spending a lifetime with someone you cared for. Worse fates indeed. 

Kasumi woke up slowly several hours later. She relaxed as she enjoyed the feeling of peace within her, as though some part of her had been laid to rest. She removed Shampoo-kun’s hand from around her hip and sat up.

Shampoo-kun’s hand from around her hip.

Shampoo-kun’s hand.

Shampoo-kun.

Kasumi went to a vertical base faster than the eye could follow and almost flew across the room as far away from the futon as she could.

Shampoo-kun had been awake the entire time and witnessed the reaction. Kasumi had retreated to a corner and for the life of her looked like a wild animal. “What wrong?” Shampoo-kun asked.

Kasumi looked scared as she replied. “What am I doing here?’ She continued gazing at him in shock. She had been in another man’s bed. Had she…no. She was still wearing her nightclothes and felt the same. If she had done anything she would have known about it. 

Shampoo-kun slowly got up as a smile slowly began to appear. “Do you love me?” he asked. 

Kasumi began to sweat. “L…l…love? Well that’s such a st…strong word. Love? I’m not sure.” Shampoo-kun leaped so high he slammed the top of his head into the ceiling. Kasumi’s fear was replaced by concern. “Are you all right?”

Shampoo-kun had a huge grin on his face as a large lump formed atop his head. “Shampoo feel great! I is so happy! You is cured!” He gave another shout of joy and destroyed a wall to exit the room. 

Kasumi stared in disbelief as she looked down the hall to see him laughing while doing handsprings to Ranma’s bedroom. He destroyed another wall to enter the sleeping chamber. Ranma had just enough time to sit up before he was picked up by Shampoo-kun. The intruder began dancing around in circles with Ranma in his arms. 

“What are you doing?!” Ranma shouted. “Have you lost your mind?! Put me down!” 

Shampoo-kun dropped Ranma on his head and destroyed a section of wall that led outside, merrily dancing the entire time. 

Kasumi watched the boy’s departing form. When she had awakened there had been a feeling of contentment from within, but now there was an overwhelming sense of loss as she watched Shampoo-kun depart. The feeling of depression grew as the day wore on, as though the part of her life that had been filled was now missing once again. 

Ukyou and Ryouga returned to Uk-Chan’s with the supplies they needed. Ryouga was the first to notice the sound from upstairs. He ran up there at top speed as Ukyou grabbed her spatula and followed as quickly as she could. Once at the top she was greeted by Ryouga throwing open the door to her bedroom, then recoiling as twin gouts of blood blew out of his nose as he collapsed. Ukyou ran to the open door and dropped into a defensive stance, ready to take on whatever could disable Ryouga so quickly. The spatula fell from her fingers as she saw the thing in the room that had caused Ryouga to pass out. At least the intruder was considerate enough to throw on the rubber sheets.

Ai lay on her back upon the bed, wearing nothing but a smile and a pint of honey spread all over her chest. She gave the okonomiyaki chef a wink and seductively licked her lips. Ukyou stared at her.

“Ai! That better not be my honey you’re using!”

Epilogue

Hayate stood at the bottom of the stairway of the plane as the passengers were about to disembark. He looked over the itinerary he made up for the people. He had been hired as a tour guide for several Chinese tourists on their visit to Japan. They had such bizarre names though. 

The first passenger shot down the steps and was almost a blur. He ran around the area briefly and finally came to a stop next to Hayate. The young man was dressed in wolf pelts. The second passenger that disembarked was a huge youth dressed in tiger skins. He actually had to turn sideways to get out of the doorway of the plane because his chest was so huge. The third figure was fully shrouded in a cloak with the hood pulled up, masking its features from everyone. Judging by the way the figure moved, Hayate figured it must be the leader. 

Hayate bowed before the figure. “Welcome to Japan Mr. Herb.”

Hayate’s blood froze as the figure whipped its face towards him. The figure had red eyes that seemed to glow from within the hood. “My name is Prince Herb, but you may address me as Emperor.”

Hayate tried to regain his composure. “Y…y…yes sir. I mean Emperor.” He managed to calm down. “I have an itinerary I drew up with recommendations of where to go.”

Herb held up a hand. “I know the places I wish to go. There is one of supreme importance though. We will go to it last. Do you know where,” Herb pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it. “The Black Roses’s Floral Shoppe is?”

Hayate told him he could find out where it was and bowed. The sooner he could take these people the places they wanted to go the sooner they would leave, and the happier he would be. 

End note: Principal Kunou and Gompachi Chabane have joined the school staff. Their story will be released in an OAV fanfic style format at a later time. That chapter itself doesn’t really add to the overall plot and is intended as a humorous tale.

Special Thanks to:  
Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Dr. Wade Tritscler  
Kevin R Wible


	17. Pursuit and Capture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herb and the Musk appear, but the leader of the tribe is not exactly as he once was.

Prologue

Akane was at it again. It wasn't Ranma's fault she was too slow to get out of the way of the splashing water. If he'd known she was going to be there he would've waited a moment before tossing his father in the pond. But no, as usual, she refused to listen to his explanation and tried to throw one of the large rocks in the pond at him. When that failed, she resorted to using an extradimensional hammer and chased him halfway across town. He probably would've eluded her if he hadn't run into the alley full of cats. It was by accident that he ran over the pursuing Akane while fleeing in terror from the felines.

The cats threw him off so much that he only narrowly dodged Tsubasa, who happened to be disguised as a tree and running for his life. Unfortunately, Ranma was so out of position because of the evasion he got run over by Capt. Ai, who was chasing Tsubasa and shouting how she was going to kill him for molesting "her" Ukyou. Naturally Ukyou was pursuing Ai, shouting that she could defend her own honor and she was not Ai's anything. The chef then ran over the fallen Ranma, pausing long enough to apologize for stepping on him before continuing her chase. Of course Ryouga was following Ukyou, and stopped long enough to hit Ranma with a Shi Shi Houkoudan (Ranma was going to have to learn a counter to that soon) before continuing the chase. Kyoko stomped on the thoroughly pummeled Ranma while chasing her "Ryouga-kun."

The parade wasn't over yet as Ranma was then stepped on by a nutcase with a bunch of white lilies and carrying an unconscious Mousse. They were followed by Kodachi, who skipped across Ranma's head while shouting at Asuka to give back "her" Mousse.

It got worse. Azusa roller skated on by Ranma's sprawled out form and took Alexander from him. Alexander was the "Dragon's Whisker" that tied Ranma's hair in a pigtail and prevented his hair from growing at a phenomenal rate. Without it, he would have to get a haircut and shave every twelve hours or so. He spent the rest of the day chasing after Azusa. No easy task since she was far faster on skates than he could ever hope to be on foot. He eventually got her to slow down long enough that he made a deal with her. He would win her a dozen cute stuffed animals at one of the carnivals in town in return for Alexander. That meant he wasted away the early part of the evening winning "Claudette, Marie, Jean-Paul," and a host of other cute friends for Azusa. On what he thought was a nice gesture she offered to give him a quick lift home, by carrying him while on her skates, since he had given her so many cute things. It turned out it was the wrong thing to do.

When they got to the dojo the door flew open and a disheveled Akane stood before the duo. When her eyes set upon Ranma she started screaming and ranting about how when he hit her, she was stunned so much that some guy on horseback named Sentaro was able to kidnap her. Then she got caught up in some idiotic Martial Arts Tea Ceremony bit, not to mention fighting a monkey. After she got frustrated with being called an "uncoordinated, untalented, unfeminine, hopeless girl" by the Cologne-like troll that was Sentaro's grandmother, Akane lost it and destroyed the house she was supposed to be imprisoned in. And she warned not to ask what happened to the monkey. To top things off, she was not home more than five minutes only to discover that her fiancee was too busy to rescue her because he was on a date with a kleptomaniac skater.

The only thing that kept Ranma from being hammered into a pile of goo on the spot was that Azusa plucked Felicia from out of Akane's grasp, then skated off with her new friend, Akane's hammer. Akane could not stand the thought of losing one of her "friends" and ran off after Azusa, leaving Ranma alone and angry. She had not even given him a chance to explain why it was not his fault. She always did that. He entered the house while coming up with a whole new set of unsavory names for his fiancee.

Shampoo looked nervously at Ranma as he stalked off to his room. She took a deep breath and stepped right in front of him, blocking his path.

"Ranma," she began, "Shampoo have question for you."

"What?!" he snapped.

The tone in his voice almost caused Shampoo to bolt but she stood her ground. Nothing ventured nothing gained. "You no like Akane, right?"

"You got that right!" he exclaimed. "I hate that uncute, flat chested..."

Shampoo cut off the tirade. "Then you go out with Shampoo, yes?"

"Yeah. We can go somewhere."

"Then we meet in front of the pet store on Gamera street at four o'clock tomorrow. Is all right?" Shampoo asked.

"Err...Yeah. I guess so," Ranma muttered in reply.

Shampoo ran off leaving Ranma to scratch his head. Why did she want to meet him there? Whenever they went out somewhere, like to roller skate or eat out on the nights Akane tried to cook, they always left from the dojo. Maybe she had some errands to run. Now that he thought about it, the way she said "go out" seemed a little strange. Any further thoughts along that line were cut off by a bellow of rage from Akane. From the sounds of it she had not managed to get back Felicia and was blaming Ranma for that as well. He chose to retreat and allow Akane some time to cool off, like maybe two or three days.

Shampoo was so happy she bounced through the house in glee. Ranma had accepted without a word of protest. It could only mean one thing. He wanted to go out with her the entire time. She should have asked sooner. Now there were too many things to do. Since she had been uncertain whether or not Ranma would have accepted she had not thought beyond telling him where to meet to receive the thing he wanted so badly. She hoped it was not too close to the place, but it did not seem likely Ranma would think that far ahead. There were other things to consider as well, like what to wear. Most of her wardrobe consisted of clothing that was used to accommodate her curse. Which meant most of it was too loose for her taste. She wanted something to show off her attributes to impress Ranma. A new dress might be called for. There was also the task of finding a place to eat out afterwards, something with the right atmosphere, meaning a location that was painfully romantic. A place so romantic even Ranma would pick up on the ambiance.

Shampoo continued bouncing gleefully through the kitchen, catching Kasumi's attention. The eldest Tendo looked up from the pot she was stirring and smiled at the Amazon. "What happened?"

Shampoo slowed down long enough to explain. "Ranma agree to go on a date with Shampoo."

She bounded from the kitchen and off to her room. Kasumi watched her go then returned her attention to the soup. "That's nice. Ranma and Shampoo are going on a date." The ladle slipped from her fingers and into the kettle.

"Uh oh! Maybe that isn't so nice."

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 17

Pursuit and Capture

By D.B. Sommer  
C+C always appreciated. You can email me at sommer  
Azatlan has provided a home for Shampoo 1/2 at:

or you can email me for previous chapters

Standard Disclaimer:  
I disclaim I own any of these characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

An Alternate Universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you need to know to enjoy this fic). In the beginning, the Saotome's traveled to Jusenkyou and began to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy). Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and accidentally ended up engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. On the first day of school, water and confusion mixed leaving everyone there believing Shampoo-kun is Ranma and Ranma-chan is Shampoo. Last chapter, after a brief battle with a Drog, Demon of Storms, and meeting Thor, and Sif, everyone decided to head for the beach for some time off. Unfortunately, a bracelet with pills that, when swallowed, make someone fall in love with the first person they see for a moment, day, or lifetime put in an appearance. Ghost Sweeper Minami swallowed the moment pill and kissed Gosunkugi, Kasumi swallowed the day pill and fell in love with Shampoo-kun, and Capt. Ai of the Furinkan Cheerleader Squad swallowed the lifetime pill and fell for Ukyou. With the Kasumi situation resolved Shampoo has decided to do something about her feelings for Ranma, while the Musk Dynasty has hit Japan on a trip to pick up several things, including a magic kettle...

Indicates Chinese

Part 1  
Dates II

The dojo saw some activity almost around the clock. Ranma gained the courage to return very late in the evening (actually closer to early morning), well after even Akane had gone to sleep. As the early morning came about Shampoo headed out, skipping the morning practice sessions. When Ranma and Genma began their morning practice, it failed to last even a minute, as his father ended up beaten once again. Now all Ranma had to worry about was the how Akane would react this morning.

Akane woke up to the sounds of the morning massacre. A reflexive feeling of anger immediately filled her thoughts as she remembered Ranma had eluded his punishment from the night before. Everything that happened yesterday was his fault. He splashed water on her and had the nerve to accuse her of being slow for not getting out of the way. He made her chase him halfway across town, then went so far as to hit her in the head with his knee for pursuing him. To make matters worse, she was so stunned that she got run over by a crazy boy on a horse. The last thing she remembered before losing consciousness was that he was ranting how he had at last found his bride.

She regained consciousness only to discover she was being held prisoner in Sentaro's (the boy's) house, and forced to try to learn Martial Arts Tea Ceremony fighting skills at the hands of his grandmother and pet monkey. During the entire time she expected Ranma to come and rescue her, but the jerk never showed. So it fell to her to engineer her own escape. Leaving took time and effort, but she managed to get out of the house, while ruining her clothes in the process. But the absolute worst was coming home in time to discover why Ranma had not come to her rescue. He was on a date with the Shiratori girl. If Azusa's stealing Akane's hammer to save Ranma was not proof of that she, did not know what would be. How unfortunate the skater had bought enough time for Ranma to flee. Today nothing would save him.

She had to come up with something that would really get to him. Something he would remember for a long time to come. That was when her eyes fell upon the tickets. That was the way to go about it. She would display the tickets, then destroy them right before his eyes. That would show him. She went downstairs with the pieces of paper in hand. Ranma would no doubt be getting ready for breakfast. Well he was going to get something to chew on.

She reached the bottom of the stairs only to be confronted by Ranma, who looked just as surprised at her presence there as well. Even to Akane's eyes he appeared tense, no doubt waiting for her to make the first move. She was not going to keep him waiting. She held out her hand with the tickets, making certain Ranma could read the writing on them. "You know what these are Ranma?"

Ranma read the tickets and appeared in shock. How had Akane gotten tickets to the premiere of the Jackie Chan film he had wanted to see so badly? And why was she holding them right before his eyes? The situation did not make any sense. Why was she not angry with him like she was yesterday? It took a moment, but the answer occurred to him. She was trying to apologize for her behavior. That could be the only explanation. Of course that explanation nearly caused him to pass out. The idea that Akane would not only apologize, but go out of her way to make him feel better was a bit much to take. Still, if she was willing to make the first peace gesture than he was going to accept it.

Ranma darted his hands forward, embracing Akane's hand with the tickets. "Akane. Thank you. This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me."

Akane was caught off guard by Ranma's gesture. He was actually holding her hand willingly and acting grateful for what might have been the first time since they had met. He was behaving in an almost normal manner. There was a great deal of difficulty in trying to hold onto her anger, as she felt it slipping away while he held her hand. Worse yet, he was now smiling at her, causing the hatred to disappear at an even faster rate. Damn him!

"I can't imagine what you must have gone through to get them." Ranma really had no idea where she could have gotten them at the last minute like this. Maybe she made a deal with Nabiki. "I really appreciate it." He was going to the movie after all.

That did it. His open appreciation removed the final bits of anger she had been holding in. "You're right. Getting them wasn't easy."

His face reflected the sympathy he felt. "When are the tickets for?"

"Today. They're for the premiere." Akane could not help smiling in return. Ranma's happiness was infectious. She knew he was going to say something stupid and ruin the moment. He always did.

Surprisingly he did not. Rather he asked if he could hold onto the tickets for safekeeping until they could go the movie. Akane could do nothing but agree as the two separated, happier than they had been at the start of the morning.

Shampoo looked through the dresses again. She had the two favorites in her hands. None of the others came close to catching her interest the way these two had, but it was a difficult selection. Each dress had a mix of red and green she rather liked. One was an off the shoulder number and the other was a high-necked, sleeveless gown. She absolutely loved the slit along the side that would serve to show off her leg. A difficult decision.

The salesman working the store noticed the indecision Shampoo displayed and decided to give his assistance. He properly introduced himself as Shinjiro and offered to help.

"Which one look prettier?" Shampoo asked as she held up the two dresses.

Shinjiro contemplated that. "They both look stunning. What's the occasion?"

She still could not contain her excitement and began to jump around. "I go out on a date with Ranma."

He smiled. "First date?" She nodded as he continued. "Are you trying to impress him or blow him away?"

She considered that. "I want him to think I'm beautiful."

"Honey," he reassured her. "You could be dressed in a gunny sack and still look gorgeous." That caused Shampoo to blush as the man carefully evaluated her. "Your shoulders are magnificent, so you don't have to worry about looking bad in the shoulderless one. It shows a good bit of cleavage as well, but that other one might be more elegant. I'll tell you what, why don't you try both of them on and I'll give you my opinion?"

It seemed like a reasonable request so she did as he recommended. She tried on both, ending up in the high collared one.

Shinjiro examined every inch of her both times, taking twice as long with the high collared one. "I was right. You look stunning in both, but there is something about the one you're in now that calls out to me."

Shampoo had been leaning towards the first one. "This one a little too," she searched for the right word, "conservative."

Shinjiro placed his hand to his chin in thought. "I can make alterations."

Shampoo thought she knew what this was leading to, an increase in commission. "How much extra it cost?"

"For you my dear, nothing. Call me a romantic, but I want you to look perfect for this date." He looked her over carefully. "So you want to show more, eh?"

She nodded.

"Well, we'll cut out a diamond at the top to show off some of what's there." He showed her where the diamond would be. It would leave an opening from the bottom of the collar to the inside top of her breasts.

"Can you cut out more?" Shampoo asked.

"You want to look exotic, not like a prostitute," he warned. "You have to maintain some restraint while showing off. Go for a hint rather than revealing everything. Men like a little mystery." He continued showing her what alterations he would make as Shampoo began fidgeting with the slit along the leg. "What's wrong?"

"Is it cut high enough?" she asked.

"If it were cut any higher it would be scandalous," he assured her.

She considered that. "Raise it three inches."

Shinjiro smiled. It would not be too much, so it should work. He finished making the marks for the alterations.

"How long this take?" It seemed to Shampoo that the man might be making too many alterations to fit in the time frame she had. She informed him it needed to be done by four.

"I'll have it done by three. They don't call me the 'Sewing King' for nothing," he assured her. The two began to chat as he worked on some of the fittings. "Where are you two going?"

Shampoo smiled. "There a new Jackie Chan movie he wants to see very much. It big premiere tonight."

"Oh yes. So I've heard. Must have been hard to get tickets."

Shampoo shrugged. "No. It easy." Very easy as she remembered it...

The people had been camped out in line for a whole day, save the small ninja in the front of the line who had been waiting there for two days. The doors opened and the first people were ushered in. Just as Sasuke pulled out his wallet, one of the far walls exploded. Shampoo walked out from the demolished wall and cheerfully waved to everyone.

"Nihao! Is this the place to get movie tickets?"

Everyone nodded mutely.

"Aiya! That great." Shampoo moved to the booth and plopped down the money. "Two please."

The ticket sellers gave her the tickets and watched her leave by demolishing yet another wall. The guy behind Sasuke tapped him on the shoulder.

"Why'd you let her cut in line, man?"

Sasuke appeared nervous. "Would you want to argue with someone that walks through walls?"

The man just looked sheepishly at Sasuke.

Shampoo came back to the present as Shinjiro began talking again. "This seems a bit extravagant for a movie. Anything else planned?"

Shampoo considered that. "I going to take him to nice place to eat, but I not know where."

He smiled at that. "For young couples in love there is only one place to go. The restaurant at the top of the Kanemoto Towers. That's assuming he's not afraid of heights."

Shampoo smiled back. "Heights, no. Cats, yes."

Shinjiro looked quizzically at her so she explained. He nodded in understanding. "I see. Well there are no felines there, I assure you. Now, usually you need reservations at least two weeks in advance, but I know a maitre'd there. I'll call and tell him to expect a party of two under your name. It's a bit pricey, but well worth it."

Shampoo smiled at the man, but was a bit confused. She never knew anyone who went out of their way for a stranger such as herself. "Why you so nice to me?"

He gave her a winsome smile in return. "I remember what it's like to be young and in love. There's no feeling quite like it in the world. Treasure every moment the two of you have tonight. You only get to go out for the first time once."

Shampoo was in front of the pet store right before four o'clock. Shinjiro was correct, the dress was beautiful. And judging by the number of admiring stares she received, as well as the guys that tried to pick her up, they must have agreed. The dress had used almost all of the funds she had gotten from the martial arts exhibition she had put on for the school. There would be enough left for the dinner that night, but not much more after that. She allowed her thoughts to drift back to where most of the money had gone. Ranma's project was finally complete and she would give it to him when their date was over. It was an unexpectently important gift that's timing was just perfect.

Their date. Even the words seemed to excite her. After so many things having gone wrong in her life the last few months, like the curse and being forced to leave both her home and people, she could now say she was truly happy. It was perfect. No more loneliness. She at long last had a true companion to share absolutely everything with. Now all she had to do was wait for him to show up. Hopefully Ranma would be early, she was anxious for things to get underway.

Maybe it was foolish of her to tell him to meet her here, but if they left together from the dojo it might have attracted the wrong sort of element. Namely anyone but Kasumi. There would have been some sort of protest from Genma and Soun since they wanted Ranma and Akane together. Never mind the fact they did not love each other. Akane would get jealous simply because she never wanted Ranma to have any fun. And Nabiki would find some way to make money out of the situation.

Four o'clock became four o'five, then four ten. Ranma was late and the line in front of the theater that was down and across the street was starting to get long. It probably was to be expected, but she had hoped the importance of the occasion would have forced him to be on time. Four ten became four fifteen, then four fifteen became four twenty. Every moment was taking forever and Shampoo was becoming panicked. What if something had happened to Ranma? What if he had been attacked by Mousse and Kodachi? What if they had gotten lucky and beaten him? What if her great-grandmother had come out of hiding and kidnapped him to use as leverage against her? What if Akane had found out about the date and hammered him into oblivion? What if he had mistakenly eaten some of the violent tomboy's cooking?

Her mind raced with all the possibilities. Too many bad things could have happened. Shampoo could not even use a phone because there were no public ones around. And if she went inside a store Ranma might come, not see her, and walk off. He had to be all right.

Four thirty rolled around and she was about to try to place a phone call anyway, taking the chance of missing him, when she at last saw him come from around the corner at the other end of the street. She was about to run over and glomp onto him when she noticed he was not alone. Akane was smiling at him and walking along side.

Shampoo was in shock. He had brought HER along on their date? What kind of an idiot was he? Did he not even realize it was supposed to be a date? She knew the boy was dense, but even he should have realized what she had meant when she asked him out. A cross expression rose on her face. Ranma was going to be given a piece of her mind when he made his way over to her. This was supposed to be a special evening with just the two of them. Now it was ruined. That was when Shampoo got her second surprise. Ranma did not come over to where she was. Instead, he walked directly over to the long line in front of the theater and waited there with Akane, not even glancing Shampoo's way. The world came crashing down around her. It was so obvious what had happened.

Shampoo had been stood up for Akane.

Hiroshi walked the streets, alone. Daisuke actually managed to get a date with Malia, which left Hiroshi alone. Life just was not fair. He had to find some girl to go out with. Any girl. That was when he saw a vision of heaven fill his sight. It took him a moment to recognize the purple haired girl in the ravishing dress before him. Shampoo Saotome, Ranma Saotome's sister. He had seen her only a handful of times around town, and never with her brother. The girl was currently standing alone, which meant she was fair game. He made certain every hair was in place as he approached Shampoo. "Hi there. I'm Hiroshi, one of Ranma's friends. I was wondering, how would you like to go somewhere?"

Shampoo did not even move in response, but continued staring across the street. Hiroshi cleared his throat. "I know this is kind of sudden, but I thought you'd like some company." She still did not respond, causing Hiroshi to scratch his head in confusion. Was she brushing him off? "I'm sorry. Did you want to be alone?"

She turned towards him then, and he knew the look of total desolation on her face was going to haunt him the rest of his life. She said only one statement in reply as the movie tickets fell from her hand and she walked off.

"I am alone."

Ranma and Akane left the theater in high spirits. Ranma was much happier than Akane.

"Man that was the best one yet!" Ranma was practically jumping up and down in joy.

Akane smiled back. She had to admit, it was pretty enjoyable, even if she was not a big action movie fan. Seeing Ranma practically bursting at the seams with happiness gave her an unexpectantly warm feeling inside. She turned to him. "So, I guess now that the movie's over we should head back."

Ranma demeanor changed as he stopped jumping around and looked at Akane. "Well, it's still early, and it's not like I have anything to do tonight." His voice started to gain an anxious tone. "We don't gotta' go back right away. We could, y'know, do something else."

Akane's smile broadened. "I'd like that. We haven't eaten yet, so I guess we could do that. Let me see if I have enough money." She started to go through her purse when Ranma told her to stop. She scowled at him, fearing he changed his mind. "Why?"

"Well, since you got the tickets and everything I think maybe I should, y'know," he appeared hesitant to say something. "Pay for it."

Akane shook her head. "It's okay. I can pay. After all, I asked you out." She panicked a bit when she realized what she said. "Not that it's a date!"

Ranma appeared just as nervous. "Of course not! It's no date. We're just going out to a movie and dinner. We can do that and it's not a date. It's just a friendly, ummm, get together."

Akane nodded her head in agreement. "Right."

"Now that that's settled, I can pay for the dinner. I got enough money for that." Ranma counted out what he had in his pockets. "Nothing too fancy though."

Akane assented and the two went to find a nice place they could afford. They had not gone far when Ranma stopped and sniffed the air. "You know something. All night I keep smelling this odd scent somewhere around me."

Akane sniffed the air and realized what the scent was. Her mood began to darken. "You mean it stinks?"

Ranma shook his head. "No. It smells kind of nice." He leaned closer to Akane. "I think it's from you."

"Oh! That." She began to blush. "I, ah, spilled some perfume on me. I guess the scent didn't come off."

Ranma shrugged. "Well it smells nice."

He resumed his walk while Akane remained lost in thought. There was no reason for her to lie about the perfume. She had put it on at the last moment quite voluntarily. She silently decided she lied because Ranma was stupid, and would have thought that if she wore perfume he might think she might be thinking it was a date. It was not. There was not any reason in the world why a girl could not wear perfume whenever she wanted. That reasoning seemed to hold up to her as the two continued on their way.

The dinner had gone well and neither had gotten into an argument all night. The couple had even taken a stroll through the park after dinner. The walk had not lasted long as there was nothing but couples making out that late in the evening, making the duo very uncomfortable. Their return trip to the dojo was uneventful.

"No Mousse tonight," Akane mentioned.

"Yeah. I remember the last time we went out. Watch it though. You may jinx us." Ranma mockingly warned. The two started laughing as they stopped in front of the house. "It sure went a lot better than the last time, didn't it?"

"Yes. It was really enjoyable. Thank you Ranma."

The smile Akane gave him caused Ranma to smile even wider. "You were the one that took me out. I should thank you." He moved slightly closer to her.

Akane felt a pang of guilt that she had almost torn up the tickets. She would have missed a wonderful evening if she had, and the two of them probably still would not be talking to one another. This was so much better. Ranma had not even said anything insulting. He came close a couple times at the movie, but kept from inserting his foot at the last minute. She could not tell if it was intentional or not. Something was still missing though. She drew closer to Ranma.

"Well, we're home." If Ranma was implying they should go in, he made no effort to do so.

"Yes. We are." Akane made no move to the house either, but moved closer to Ranma once more.

The two remained where they were, looking at one another awkwardly Neither chose to say anything else, but rather just continued to stare at one another. At an almost snail-like pace they drew slightly closer still. The two were no more than a foot apart when the sound of crunching interrupted their plodding action. The duo turned as one in the direction of the noise, each seeing their respective fathers and Nabiki watching the proceedings intently. Nabiki was the one who had made the sound by munching on a bag of chips.

"Are you two just going to stand there or are you going to go through with it?" Nabiki asked through a full mouth, looking more than a little annoyed at how long things were taking.

"Yes, son. Cement the bonds between our two families," Soun urged.

"That's right, boy. Show us you're a man. Kiss the girl," Genma prodded. "Don't mind us. Just carry on as you were."

Ranma broke the silence first.

"Don't be stupid! There's no way I'd kiss an uncute tomboy like that!"

Akane whirled on Ranma. "You make it sound like you have a choice! I wouldn't let a pervert like you kiss me anyway!"

"Hey! You shouldn't be so picky," Ranma shot back. "It's not like you got a lot of guys lining up to kiss you,"

"Oh, and you think kissing someone that turns into a girl is something I want to do!" Akane fumed.

Ranma's voice shot up some more. "It didn't stop you before. In fact, it seems to me I was a girl when YOU kissed ME!"

Ranma was caught off guard by the slap that followed. He never even got a good look at Akane's face as she stormed off into the house. The three observers watched the proceedings in shock.

"Do you mean to say Akane kissed you boy?" Soun asked.

"Who would have thought you had it on you? Or that she had it in her?" Nabiki commented.

Genma walked over and slapped Ranma on the back. "That's my boy. The ladies can't resist him."

Ranma batted his father's hand away. "You just don't get it, do ya' Pop?"

Ranma walked into the house, more depressed than any time since Shampoo and he had made up. He had not made it more than five steps before Kasumi stopped him.

"Ranma, have you seen Shampoo at all?" she asked.

"No I haven't," he replied distantly. "And to tell you the truth, I really don't care right now."

Kasumi watched him leave. "But you were supposed to be with her tonight."

Ranma headed to the roof and stared at the stars. Why did everyone have to stick their noses in his business? It just was not fair. Everything had been going fine until the fathers and Nabiki showed up. Who knew what might have happened? Now, instead of remembering the good time he had, Ranma felt nothing but depression.

Akane had run to her room and locked the door behind her, throwing herself on the bed and burying her head under the pillows. Why did Ranma have to screw up everything? Why couldn't he have simply kept his mouth shut and let the evening end on a high note? Why did he have to call her uncute? Akane felt more depressed now than at anytime previously in the last year then she could remember. She realized it would not have hurt so much if they had had a lousy night out, but the fact that it had been wonderful before was why it made the end seem so bad. The perfectly rotten ending to a perfectly beautiful evening.

Ukyou made her way back from the meeting with the food shippers. She always felt a little awkward hanging around all the shippers and fellow shop owners. Everyone else was so much older than her, not that that fact kept a lot of them from hitting on her. She would not have had to worry about it if Ryouga had been there like last time, but he had "gone out" with Kyoko, like it was anything other than a date. The only thing that kept him from calling it that was that she was paying for it, the little tramp.

A shout caught Ukyou's attention. From up the street a little ways she saw two people high tail it out of a bar that was located in of one of the buildings ahead. The two men looked scared. If it was a barroom fight that was starting up, Ukyou would join in. She needed to blow off some steam. As she walked into the bar she beheld one of the most unexpected sights she would have thought to have ever seen. The bar was in a state of ruin, empty of all but six people, two of them conscious. The first four were bouncers that had been bounced unconscious on the floor. The fifth was a bartender cowering behind the bar itself. The final occupant was seated at the bar.

Shampoo turned to give the newcomer an evil glare. If the person was stupid enough not to get the hint and leave, she would "educate" them. It was no small surprise when she saw the newcomer wore a familiar face.

"Ucchan! You come here," Shampoo patted the seat at the empty bar next to her. "BARKEEP!" she shouted at the man cowering behind the bar. "You get extra drink for Ucchan and," she took down the remainder of what was in her glass in one gulp, making her eyes tear. "You refill for me." She slammed the glass on the bar.

"Dear god she called me Ucchan!" Ukyou thought. She did not think it was possible that Shampoo could drink that much. She accepted the Amazon's offer and sat down next to her. The bartender gave Ukyou a filled glass of some kind of liquor.

Shampoo raised her refilled glass. "Misery loves company," she slurred.

Ukyou shook her head. "What are you doing here, sugar?"

Shampoo let her glass back down when she realized she was not going to get the cheers she wanted. "Shampoo is very depressed. So Shampoo drown sorrows. Is what you supposed to do, yes?"

"Actually no," Ukyou corrected. "Alcohol is a depressant. Drinking's one of the last things you should do when you're feeling down."

Shampoo ignored the comment. "You know what Shampoo going to do? Shampoo going to get drunk, then give Ranma Kiss of Death." She smiled evilly at that.

The death threat to Ranma grabbed Ukyou's attention. "Why do you want to give Ranchan a Kiss of Death?"

A wild look entered Shampoo's eyes. "He insult Shampoo. He mock Shampoo. He nothing but...but..." She switched from Japanese to Chinese. Ukyou was fairly certain from the tone of voice that more than a few choice expletives were being used. The tirade of Chinese broke off eventually as Shampoo took another drink.

"What do you do after you give him the Kiss of Death?" Ukyou asked.

The Amazon looked bewildered. "Shampoo kill of course. Then Shampoo...then..." she trailed off, confused once more until she had a solution on what action should follow. "...then Shampoo marry Kasumi. She a nice girl that will no lie to Shampoo. Shampoo can trust her."

So that was it. She felt Ranma had lied to her. Ukyou could certainly relate to that. The part about Kasumi was a surprise though. "Say, if you're interested in women I've got an attractive cheerleader I'd be willing to part with. I'd even throw in a free transvestite to boot."

Shampoo made a face at that suggestion. "I no like Ai. She a mean, nasty girl."

Ukyou began to think about how her life was turning out and decided to ignore her own advice from before. "I think I'll have that drink now." She began to sip from her glass. It was not more than five minutes before Shampoo stood up and made an announcement.

"BARKEEP! Shampoo go to sleep now." And with that she collapsed in a heap.

Ukyou finished her drink, picked the Amazon up, and threw the girl over her back. She turned to the bartender. "I'm sure she'll pay for all the damages."

The bartender crouched behind the bar, convinced Shampoo was going to come around again. "I don't give a damn about the damages! Just get her out of here and never let her come back!" He watched the girls leave. "Damn! That crazed bitch sure reminded me of my ex-wife. Forgot how much I miss her."

Ukyou agreed to the deal and headed out. Unless Shampoo knew some secret Chinese remedy for hangovers, she was going to have one horrible day when she woke up. Ukyou looked at the girl's face. Shampoo looked miserable even in unconsciousness. For some odd reason Ukyou felt a connection to the Amazon that night. It had been a long time she had really talked to anyone, and found herself spilling her soul out.

"Ryouga drives me nuts too, but I have an idea of what my problem is. I don't know how to relate to him as anything other than just one of the guys." She looked at Shampoo's sleeping form that was still draped across her back. "I never asked a guy out you know. How could I when I was one of them? You'd think that would help me with them. Nah! Oh sure, they said what they liked in women, but I'd turn around and they would be going out with the exact opposite. I don't understand them, not even after all those years."

She sighed. "So along comes Ryouga. Now don't get me wrong. He's hardly perfect. He gets lost going to the bathroom. He's still obsessed with Ranchan even after all this time, and I've lost count of how many times I've tried to break him of that. He gets depressed at the drop of a hat. And those are his good points."

She felt like sighing once more. "Despite all that I want to go out with him. I might even be in..." She trailed off, unsure if what her feelings were. "Oh! If only I could tell him what I feel. Better yet, I could have been engaged to Ryouga, then it wouldn't matter how I act. He'd already be mine and I wouldn't have to worry about it. But now I've got to try to learn how to get him. I'm only ten years out of practice."

Ukyou looked at the sleeping girl again. "And I can't be like that 'Little Miss Cheerleader Kyoko'. That's not my style. I don't want Ryouga to think that I'm one way then reveal to him I'm another."

She stopped and shouted upwards to the heavens. "I am Ukyou Kuonji! I will not change my life for any man! I did it once before and look what it got me! Ryouga falls for me as is or not at all!" She quieted down as she continued. "Unless, of course, he's fallen for someone else already."

Ukyou heard Shampoo begin to mumble "Ranma" under her breath. Even sleep granted the Amazon no reprise, the poor girl. "You know. You aren't such a bimbo when your asleep, and I guess I needed to talk with someone. Of course I would never have said anything if you were awake." Ukyou shifted her load. "You are going to owe me big time for hauling your butt like this. And I will kill you if something happens to my back."

The late hour did not matter to Kasumi. Shampoo still had not returned or contacted her in any way. It was late at night when she heard the rustling at the door. It could have been burglars, but Kasumi threw the door open into the night anyway. All that mattered was that her friend was all right.

Ukyou had walked up to the doorway and was looking for a place to dump Shampoo when Kasumi opened the door. "I didn't think anyone would be up."

Kasumi saw the state Shampoo was in. "What happened?!"

Ukyou could tell the eldest Tendo was in a state of near panic. She made an effort to calm her down. "She's okay. She just had too much to drink. Now tomorrow morning you may want to keep sharp objects away from her so she doesn't try to end her suffering."

Kasumi helped Ukyou bring the Amazon into the house and to Shampoo's room. Once the Amazon was safely tucked in Kasumi turned to Ukyou. "It's late. You're more than welcome to stay."

Ukyou could understand why Shampoo felt Kasumi was trustworthy. The girl was easier on the nerves than a whole bottle of Prozac. "No. I have school tomorrow. If I don't get to sleep now I'll never be able to wake up." And if she did not go, Ryouga might resort to asking Kyoko to help him get to school so he did not end up in Madagascar.

Kasumi saw Ukyou to the door, then got ready for bed herself. Things certainly had gotten bad around the dojo. She only hoped the situation would right itself. And poor Shampoo, Kasumi was going to have to be extra helpful to her. At least until the Amazon could decide on a course of action.

Interlude  
Five Devils

The mountains of Japan:

The man in black stalked the ruins of the old temple. It took him a moment to find the right spot for the spell of summoning. The next one to bring back was much trickier than the others. He had spent so much of his life in shadow, and that was what was needed to bring him back to this side.

"When do we get to kill someone?" The man of stone asked

"Patience my dear," The lady of snaked reassured him. "All in due time."

The man in black looked upon his four minions. Soon to be five. They were proving themselves eager. That was good. The more eager the better. There would plenty that they would be relied upon. Too much for his tastes, but that was the way things worked out sometimes.

He wasted no more time and began the spell. "In shadows you lived. In shadows you died. In shadows you will be reborn!"

The man's hand flared with magical energy as a form began to take substance from the shadow he gestured at. A bubbling could be heard from the shadow as a pale gray skinned man broke the surface of the darkness. A mechanical claw on the end of an arm began twitching with a life of its own.

"Five," The man in black stated.

End Interlude

Part Two  
Defeat

Ranma and Akane got up around the same time and headed for the breakfast table. The angry glares they started the morning with softened somewhat as time passed. Ranma was the first someone was missing.

"Where's Shampoo?" Ranma asked. It was unlike the Amazon to be absent from breakfast. She had not been sick a day since he had met her. She may not have liked school but at least she was attentive.

"She's sick. You'll have to go to school without her." Kasumi informed everyone.

Well, she was human after all. "Too bad. Tell her I hope she feels better." Ranma changed to his girl form and left with the other two Tendos to school.

Shampoo got up a little after the others had left. There was the sound of something hammering from the inside of her head and there was an unmistakable urge to open her skull and rip out the offending object. Instead, she lay there and suffered for a little while before hauling herself to her feet and getting dressed. Her eyes fell upon the gift she had worked so painstakingly on for Ranma. A gift he was never going to receive now.

The clothing was fitted over a dressmaker's dummy Shampoo had proportioned to Ranma's exact size. No easy task getting those. A purple and gold Chinese style shirt, similar to the ones Ranma always wore, was adorned on it. It was no ordinary shirt though. The material it was made out of was a rare kind of silk that was cultivated only in China. She had seen only two pieces of clothing made of the material in her entire life. Both felt so soft and unique that she had wished all her clothes were made of it. Legend said that the past emperors of China had kept the method it was harvested a secret, and that there were no more than a handful of people that knew how to raise the silk worms that wove the soft substance.

It had taken Shampoo more than a week to track down a store that had it. The price was too great so she got Nabiki to help her raise some money. She had bought all the material that was at the store, just enough to make the shirt for Ranma that was pictured in her mind. It was something like the one he had worn for the Golden Pair fight, but it was designed for everyday wear. Shampoo had taken weeks to sew it. There was not enough material for there to be any errors. Every seam had to be perfect for him. And they were blast it! She took hours making certain not a stitch was out of place. Fighting was not the only thing she was good at.

The designs were even more difficult. A dragon of gold, more elaborate than the skating costume's, dominated the shirt, but there were also some smaller designs woven in it as well. A pair of bonbori that were sewn on the collar, as well as some butterflies that were here and there on it. Shampoo always loved butterflies. All of the figures had taken forever to get the exact detail she wanted, but as with the rest of the shirt, they were perfect as well. It had been her heart's desire to see Ranma wear the attire. True, he probably would not appreciate it for what it was and destroy the garment in the first ten minutes he had it on. But just so long as he wore it even for a moment Shampoo could beam at him in pride. Now she had to suppress the urge to tear the shirt into tiny pieces. She had to leave immediately lest the temptation overcame her.

She managed to drag herself to the kitchen in an effort to grab something to eat. It was no surprise Kasumi was already there.

"HELLO. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?" Kasumi asked.

Shampoo held her head. "You no need to shout."

"I'M NOT SHOUTING," Kasumi responded.

Shampoo was far worse than she thought and food did not sound like such a hot idea at the moment after all. She went back to her room to let the worst part of the hangover pass. As she walked past the Saotome's empty bedroom she scowled at the door, as though it had said something unsavory about her.

"Boys that play with girls hearts go to very bad place Ranma." She stared even harder at the door. "Hope you go there soon!"

She lay down for another hour before attempting to get up again. The second occasion was much more successful and she grabbed some plain toast to get something in her stomach. She stared out at the yard trying to decide on a course of action. One of Akane's practice dummies was out in the yard like a lone scarecrow, though the only thing it might ward of would be Ranma. Like all the others it looked a lot like Ranma. Shampoo supposed it was one way to relieve stress. She got up and did a few warm-up exercises just to make sure working out was not a mistake. Once she decided her head and stomach could handle it she began punching the dummy. It was only a matter of moments before she shattered the target. Surprisingly, the action had alleviated some of her stress, but there was something missing from the exercise. Realism. An idea came to Shampoo, there was one way to make them more realistic. She went inside the house to collect the rest of the dummies and get the necessary materials to add that touch of realism she wanted. Once she was done relieving her stress there were a few other gifts she could leave Ranma.

Mint looked at his liege again. Herb had been acting very oddly since coming to Japan, and now he was practically wriggling in anticipation of the next visit.

"Herb, why is it so important we visit this place?" he asked.

"It is very important to me personally. There is a matter which I wish to conclude here and there is only one person that can help me," Herb explained.

"What is it?"

"I cannot tell you Mint," Herb's voice carried a slight tone of sadness. "I'm sorry."

Mint looked crestfallen. "You've been keeping a lot of things from me and Lime lately." Mint could not see anything but Herb's eyes behind the cowl, but again they looked sad.

"My friend, trust me. Soon all will be revealed, but I assure you this has to be done before any of the other plans can be set into motion," Herb explained once again.

"What plans?" Mint was becoming more agitated. "You are keeping secrets from us! You never used to do that. Why did we have to make all those other stops if coming to this place was so important? What do we need Faerie's blood for?"

Herb stopped walking and stared at Mint. "There are many things happening that you cannot understand. Were I to tell you of them you might let your tongue slip and tell others. The plans are still in a vulnerable stage. Soon things will change and we will once again be masters of our own destiny. Suffice it to say you are better off not knowing what is going to happen. It would just confuse you. You do trust me, don't you?"

Mint nodded his head.

"Good," Herb said, "Now I have just one question for you. Where the hell is Lime?"

"I think he said something about trying to find a," Mint's voice dropped to a whisper. "girl."

A sweatdrop appeared behind Herb's head. "I'm going to kill him."

Ukyou was not a happy person on two counts. One was the fact Kyoko decided to follow Ryouga home from school every day now and the jackass did not even say a word of protest. The other reason was that Ai was following HER home now. The only thing even remotely tolerable about that was she did not glomp onto Ukyou the way Tsubasa did. There were, however, the suggestions Ai whispered in her ear about all the things they could do about furthering their relationship. Some of them caused even Ukyou to blush. Spatulas could not be used that way, and even if they could, she would never want to cook with one that had been utilized in the manner Ai suggested.

Kyoko was continuing to say cute, cheery little things. She really reminded Ukyou of Azusa Shiratori the way she was so, for lack of a better term, cutsey.

"I've got an idea Ryouga-kun," Kyoko missed Ukyou cringe at that word. "Why don't the four of us go out on a double date."

Ryouga started to say he didn't think it was such a good notion when Ai interrupted by jumping up and giving a cheer. "That's a great idea!" She got closer to Ukyou and began whispering so the others could not overhear. "There's this little place I know in Roppongi that we can head to afterwards. They cater to gals like us. You should see some of the specialized equipment they have."

"I AM NOT LIKE YOU!" Ukyou raged. Any further statements were cut off by a huge man in tiger skins that approached the group.

Lime looked at Ai and Kyoko while practically drooling. "You two look like," he paused. "girls."

"Hey! What about me?" Ukyou exclaimed. How could the oaf have missed her?

Lime stared at her. "You look like a boy."

"My Ukyou is one hundred percent woman!" Ai cried out. "Let me show you." Ai moved behind Ukyou and ripped her uniform top open, showing off the chest wrap to the world.

Ukyou pulled out of Ai's grasp and covered up. "Why does everyone feel the need to show my chest off to the world?!"

"Because your breasts are so perfect, my love," the cheerleader said innocently. Ukyou blushed at the compliment. Too bad it had come from Ai.

Lime stood there transfixed. "Were those...were those, breasts?"

In his eagerness to investigate he approached the group once again. Kyoko cowered behind Ryouga while Ai moved protectively in front of Ukyou.

"Watch it pal," Ryouga warned.

"Keep away from my Ukyou," Ai's attitude mirrored Ryouga's.

Lime's hand shot forward and snared Ai. She began kicking and screaming in protest, trying to get out of his grasp. One of her blows connected right with the bridge of his nose. The pain caused him to give Ai a tight squeeze, the pressure proving too much as she went limp in his arms.

"AI!" All three of the remaining people shouted as one. Ukyou and Ryouga moved forward.

"I may not be able to stand Ai, but no one deserves to be manhandled like that," Ukyou said.

"I'm with you," Ryouga agreed.

The duo jumped forward to the attack, both connecting with Lime's stomach. He released Ai and looked angrily at the duo.

"I felt that."

The shock on the attackers' faces was evident. No one, not even Chabane, had been able to take that kind of punishment without a bigger reaction than that. Lime moved in while the duo was in momentary shock. Before either could move he grabbed them by their heads and brought their skulls together with a loud thump, then released them. Ryouga was slightly groggy but Ukyou was knocked unconscious by the blow from Ryouga's skull.

"UK-CHAN!" Ryouga screamed as he went down to one knee to examine Ukyou.

Lime was surprised to see Ryouga still awake. There were few that could withstand a blow like that. While the lost one was distracted Lime drew back his fist and cold cocked him. Ryouga hit the ground, unconscious.

Kyoko finally went into motion as she jumped protectively in front of the prone Ryouga. "I won't let you hurt him."

"You're pretty. Let's go out on a date." Lime reached out towards Kyoko. He was slightly surprised she did not even try to run away, allowing him to pick her up.

Kyoko had not protested because her plan was working. If she could distract the big man he would not hurt Ryouga. Her beloved was all that mattered. Now she needed to come up with something to get him away from her true love. "Why don't we go somewhere quiet?" Kyoko thought that was the sort of thing Ai would say.

Lime grunted in approval. He picked up Ai and walked off, leaving the other two figures sprawled out in the middle of the street. Kyoko blew a kiss towards Ryouga's prone form as she was carried off. "Be safe my heart."

Cologne once again was forced to wonder if she was in the presence of pure genius. It was said Einstein, one of the greatest genius's of the era, had trouble tying his shoelaces. All throughout history the brilliant were often depicted as eccentric or a little mad. Perhaps that was the price of genius. The girl before her was certainly bizarre, if not outright delusional.

Kodachi was in a lab jacket studying the various reactions of the chemicals she was experimenting with. The girl's demeanor was nothing like it usually was. Not a trace of humor was in her as she experimented with the new, rare herbs Cologne had shipped in from China. Watching the girl work her magic with the toxins was amazing. Kodachi still had to field test the reactions, but she had said she was certain she already had synthesized a very effective poison with the new ingredients. It all happened in a matter of hours. Her intuitive grasp of the field was astounding. Now all that was left was the creation of the antidote. A toxin without an antidote was a good way to get killed if there was a lab accident.

Cologne's attention was suddenly riveted to someone's approach from nearby. Someone familiar. Someone that should not even be in Japan. "Kodachi, come with me. I want you to meet an extraordinarily dangerous man."

Kodachi looked towards her chemist's set. None of the experiments were at a critical juncture. She could spare some time to meet someone that Cologne considered "an extraordinarily dangerous man." She followed the Amazon to the floral shop's entrance and heard someone come in. Two figures entered the jungle and began to search. Their eyes settled on the approaching women.

"Cologne," Herb stated. "So my information was correct."

"Prince Herb. It has been a long time," Cologne replied, making sure to use his title. No sense in provoking a senseless argument. "Take off your cloak and make yourself at home."

Herb held up a hand. "No thanks. I do not intend to remain long."

Mint moved towards Kodachi, gazing upon her in awe. "Are you a girl?" He moved his hand forward to touch her.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the gymnast calmly stated.

Mint was confused. "Why not?"

The Ranma Eating Plant sensed its mistresses desire and raised its head forward and over Kodachi's shoulder. It opened its jaws wide to show off its jagged teeth and gave a low, menacing hiss. Mint came to the sudden conclusion he was not that curious about women after all and backed off.

"Do you believe I would allow a barbarian such as yourself to lay your hands upon me?" Kodachi said haughtily. "Only my darling Mousse has that privilege."

Cologne and Herb moved back to discuss the matters at hand now that the commotion was over.

"I require information from you," Herb explained. "I need to know the location of Kiifuiton."

Cologne shrugged her shoulders. "Why should I know where it is?"

Cologne could only sense Herb's smile hidden beneath the shadows of the cloak. "Because you are a well informed person. I will add that I am more than willing to pay for the knowledge."

Cologne maintained a neutral attitude. "What could you possibly possess that I would be interested in?"

Herb silently pulled out an ornate box from within the cloak and opened it. Inside there were three items. A medallion with a griffon's head on it, a crystal, and a single bracer.

"These are relics of the Amazons! I recognize them all!" Cologne said in shock as she moved to handle the items. "This is the medallion of Hu Chiang. This is a scrying crystal. And the last is the Bracer of Tangal." Cologne silently berated herself for fawning over the objects. Any advantage she could have displayed over lack of interest in the items was lost. "How did you come to find them?"

"I have my resources. Now about that deal..." Herb trailed off.

Cologne could hardly refuse. Kiifuiton was only useful to those that possessed Chiisuiton, and she would have been damned if she was going to let Herb leave with the valuable artifacts. She pulled out a map and handed it to Herb. "Here is the general location of what you seek. That is the best I can do."

Herb took the piece of parchment in trembling hands. "It will more than suffice. The artifacts are yours." Herb paid no further attention to the matriarch as the prince committed to memory everything about the map.

Lime finally arrived with the two cheerleaders still draped over his shoulders. He quickly ran over to Herb. "Look what I found in the middle of the street."

To Lime, Herb's red eyes seemed to bore a hole through him. The words his leader spoke had an even more sobering effect.

"There is no time for that! We leave now!" Herb turned and walked out the door. Lime and Mint looked at one another, shrugged, then followed. Lime made certain to leave the cheerleaders. No point in anger Herb further.

Mousse moved away from the shadows he had been skulking in. A good thing he had come in at the last minute, else he would have missed the statement by Herb about Kiifuiton. If he remembered correctly, it could cure Jusenkyou curses, though why Cologne had not thought to use it was beyond him. Still, there was now a chance that he could cure himself of the curse. It was foolish of him to believe Shampoo would ever agree to marry him while he was cursed. That was why she refused the cure and marrying him. It was not because she did not love him, how could she not? It was because he was less than a man. Of course so was Saotome, which meant Ranma must have done something else to her as well to get her to fawn over him so. It enraged Mousse to think of his darling Shampoo being trapped under Ranma's house. There was no telling what the lecherous scum had already done to her. Not that Mousse would care. He would love her no matter what.

Now that he thought about it, and he hated to admit it, he might need help. If the rumors about the Musk Dynasty were true Mousse might have been able to take out any one of them, but there was no chance he could take all three alone. A plan started to form in his mind. A devious one that might get him everything he needed. A cure and some bonuses.

Ranma-chan and Akane returned home after school. The two of them were starting to talk to one another civilly for the first time since the events of the previous night. They greeted Kasumi and separated. Ranma changed sexes and went to change clothes while Akane went out back. The scene in the backyard shocked her.

"What happened?" It took her a moment to realize the backyard was filled with the broken remains of what was once her practice dummies. All of them. Nothing was left but small piles of splinters. Not even Akane could have destroyed them so thoroughly. There were also some odd pieces of cloth stuck amongst the remains.

Kasumi looked over the carnage and explained. "Shampoo felt better and decided to work out."

Akane's thoughts were interrupted by a shout from within the house.

"WHERE ARE ALL MY CLOTHES?!" Ranma roared.

"Shampoo dressed up the dummies with Ranma's clothes," Kasumi explained. "She thought they needed a touch of realism."

Ranma came to the backyard in a shirt and shorts that had been saved only because they were still dirty and had been in the laundry. One look told him where his clothes were as well.

"What did you do that has gotten Shampoo so angry at you?" Akane asked.

"How should I know? I never did nothing to her," Ranma could not remember the Amazon ever really being angry with him. Not like this. He walked back to his room, lost in thought. He went to lie down while trying to figure out what Shampoo could have possibly misinterpreted that got her so upset. Once he could remember what it was, he could explain it to her. Shampoo would listen to explanations, unlike a certain fiancee he could mention. As he went to lie down he noticed the blanket he normally used was in shreds.

"Hey Kasumi! What happened to my sheets?"

"Shampoo was kind enough to wash them," Kasumi explained as she entered the room. "Although she said a neighbor's dog got to yours while they were hung out to dry. They really ought to keep a tighter leash on their pets. What if it had attacked another person?"

Ranma had a feeling it was a wild Amazon, not a wild animal, that had attacked his sheets and ripped them to shreds. He went to lay down and try thinking again. His head made contact with the pillow he normally used and was rewarded with an incredibly loud thump as he hit.

Ranma grabbed the back of his head. "OW! What the hell..." He picked up the pillowcase and held it upside down. Several rocks, the ones that replaced the pillow inside the case, fell out. Ranma's concern doubled. Shampoo was REALLY angry at him if she was doing stuff like this. Just as he was about to put his mind to really get to the bottom of things a bat flew into his room and landed. It began making urgent bat-like noises and gestures in his direction.

"I see. I see. I understand," Ranma said as he thoughtfully put his hand to his chin. "Ryouga do you realize what I understand?"

The bat shook its head.

"It's that I can't understand a word you're saying BECAUSE YOU'RE A BAT YOU IDIOT! CHANGE INTO A GUY!" He picked up the bat and walked to the bath, ran some hot water, then left to retrieve some of the clothes the lost one left at the dojo when he needed to fly over. Ryouga dressed once Ranma returned. As both left the bathroom Akane spotted them and joined up.

"What's got you so riled up?" Ranma asked.

"Some big guy in tiger skins attacked me and Ukyou."

Ranma's demeanor became much more serious. "Is she all right?"

"She has a headache but it isn't bad. That doesn't mean the big guy isn't going to pay! Not by a long shot." Ryouga clenched his fist for emphasis.

"You aren't doing it alone." Ranma put his hand on Ryouga's shoulder.

"I didn't come here for help Ranma. I just want you to watch out for Ukyou while I take care of business."

"She's my friend too. I'm going." The look in his eyes left no room for argument.

"I'm glad to hear you say that Saotome."

Everyone turned to see the new voice. Kasumi stood next to Mousse, whom she had just let inside.

"You got some nerve coming here after what you pulled!" Ranma ran over and grabbed Mousse by the collar. "Let me show you just how unwelcome you are."

Mousse just smirked back in response. "We now have the same goal Saotome. I found a cure for all of us."

Ranma refused to release his grip. "I don't know what kind of a sucker you take me for, but if you imagine I'm going to believe a word you're saying, think again."

Just as Ranma drew back to strike Mousse, Akane rested her hand on the fist. "Wait Ranma! Let's hear him out." Ranma dropped the fist to his side but continued holding Mousse.

"Your fiancee has a lot more brains than you Saotome," Mousse said. "You two make a cute couple. You should marry her as soon as possible."

"I ain't got time for this. You'd better come up with something real interesting in about three seconds, or you're going to have lot more things wrong with you besides your vision," Ranma threatened.

Mousse chose not to waste any more time. "There's a magic object that has just come to my attention. It has the capability to break the Jusenkyou curses."

"And you're just letting me and Ryouga in on it because you're a nice guy. Is that it?" Ranma did not buy it for a second.

"No. If I could obtain it alone, I would, but we won't be the only one's after it. You see, there are three other men after it." Mousse allowed the words to sink in. "They are the Musk Dynasty. All three of them are accomplished fighters. You already met one of them from the sounds of it Ryouga."

That caught Ryouga's attention. "You mean the guy with the tiger skins?"

Mousse at last batted Ranma's hand from his collar. "His name is Lime. His forte is power. He might even be stronger than you."

Ryouga nodded his head reluctantly. If the force behind the blow was any indication of the man's strength, Lime was more powerful than him. If there were two others like him traveling all together, letting Ranma come along suddenly seemed like a good idea.

"What about the others?" Ranma asked.

"I can fill you in about them on the way. We have to leave now," Mousse warned. "If they get their hands on Kiifuiton before we do it might be impossible to take it from them."

"Let's go." Akane said as she stood up. All three men looked at her.

"Umm, Akane. Where do you think you're going?" Ranma asked.

"To help you."

Ranma shook his head. "Maybe you weren't paying attention. These guys are dangerous."

"Hey! I'm a martial artist too. I can take care of myself." Akane felt her anger begin to rise.

Ryouga came to Ranma's aid. "He's right Akane. The one I fought was real tough. I wouldn't let Ukyou come even if she was feeling up to it."

"Nor would I let Shampoo go with us," Mousse agreed. "By the way, where is she?"

"She's obviously not here if you're still standing," Ranma said dryly. "Now where do we go?"

Mousse suddenly looked embarrassed and gave a nervous chuckle. "I don't know. I stopped following them when I came here to get you."

"You mean to tell me you don't even know where the thing is?" Ranma spat out.

"Guys," Ryouga tried to interrupt.

"It's not like I had a choice. I couldn't take them on alone and I was fresh out of homing pigeons. Otherwise I would have sent you a note," Mousse responded.

"Guys," Ryouga tried again.

"Now we can't get the cure! What was the point in coming here if you can't find out where they went?!" Ranma and Mousse tensed up, ready to fight.

Ryouga had enough. He went to the bathroom, returned with a bucket of cold water, and splashed the two youths.

"Hey! Whad'ya do that for?!" Ranma-chan asked angrily.

*I want to know too!* Mousse-panda looked just as pleased.

"As I was trying to say, I can find them. My homing sense, remember?" Ryouga pointed to his head. "When I'm a bat I can find anyone, anywhere. I even found Ranma from halfway across the world."

Ranma-chan nodded her head. Ryouga's sense was so good in bat form he managed to track Ranma down while she was a female, even if he had not realized the curse at the time. If Ryouga met Lime even once, he could track him down with ease.

"Well, that's settled." Ranma got some hot water for himself and Mousse while grabbing some cold for Ryouga.

"I'm going too." Akane tried to force her way into the group again.

Ranma tried a different approach. "Look anything that involves curses is a bad thing for uncursed people to be around. I don't want you turning into an otter or something."

"It's supposed to cure you. I want to go!" Akane remained adamant.

"Fine! We'll take a vote. Who wants the uncute tomboy to stay here?" Two guys and one bat raised their hands and wing respectively.

"I abstain," Kasumi said from the doorway.

"We have three for Akane to stay. One abstention. And only one vote left." Ranma turned to Akane. "Make sure you don't cook anything that can kill while we're gone."

"You rotten jerk! I don't care what happens to you!" She was damned of she was going to accept that kind of treatment and stomped out of the house.

"You should treat your fiancee better, Saotome," Mousse said.

"I ain't marring her, so don't worry about it. Let's get going, unless you like being a panda?" Ranma picked up Ryouga's clothes as he and Mousse followed Ryouga's flight path.

Shampoo had wandered around aimlessly all day. Most of her initial anger was gone, and she was beginning to think more rationally. Ranma had chosen Akane after all. That was still quiet a shock. She thought they hated one another. Who would have thought it? But why did Ranma have to be so cruel in turning her down? Why couldn't he have simply said no? Did he think she would hit him? She was not Akane. Shampoo would have understood. She was a proud Amazon warrior. She could take rejection with a smile on her lips. Actually, she admitted to herself, she would have most likely broken down in tears on the spot, but she would not have abused him the way Akane did. Never like that.

What was she doing in Japan anyway? Her great grandmother knew she was here. It was only a matter of time before she would resort to bringing in a huge number of Amazons that would defeat Shampoo by sheer numbers. The longer she remained, the greater the risk. She had to leave. There was a whole big world out there and there was sure to be a cure somewhere in it. She had to start looking for it to gain back her life. To go back home.

Shampoo was startled to realize that held little appeal for her. Why, she did not know. What had changed so that returning to her birthplace held little appeal for her? Perhaps it was simply that she had thought of it as dangerous for so long she was a little afraid of going back. That reasoning seemed sound, but something about it did not feel right.

There was nothing else to be gained in walking around in big circles. She had to go back home. No. She meant the dojo. When had she started to think of it as home? It did not really matter. She would sleep on her decision, but if she still felt the same way tomorrow, then it would be her final day there. It was not like she had a lot of things to pack up.

She returned home (she reminded herself she meant dojo), surprised to see only Kasumi present.

"Where is everyone?" Shampoo asked.

"Well, Akane left to get new materials to make some practice dummies," Kasumi explained.

Shampoo smiled at that. It meant Ranma had done something to anger her. Again.

"And Ranma went with Ryouga and Mr. Mousse to fight someone named Musk. He seems to have a cure for the curses. I bet if they get it you can cure yourself too. Won't that be great?"

Shampoo did not hear the last part of the statement. Rather, she paled as she focused on the first part.

She grabbed Kasumi roughly by the shoulders. "What you mean? What you mean when you say they go fight someone named Musk?"

Kasumi found herself being shaken by a suddenly furious Amazon. "Shampoo. You're hurting me."

Shampoo calmed herself enough to stop shaking the eldest Tendo. "Kasumi," she began slowly. "Tell me what you mean when you say they go to fight Musk."

Kasumi related everything she could remember about the conversation. She became very concerned when she saw how frightened Shampoo appeared. "What is it?" she asked.

"I have to go find them. They in great danger." Shampoo headed to her room, and cursed herself. She had no way of knowing where they were.

And they had no idea of what they were getting into.

Shampoo knew. She had met the members of the Musk Dynasty once before. Her great grandmother had taken her on a diplomatic voyage to meet Prince Herb at his castle in the lands the Musk claimed as their own. Cologne had become concerned that relations between the Amazons and the Musk had recently deteriorated for no rational explanation. Her great grandmother decided it was time for Shampoo to learn the finer points of diplomacy at the age of fourteen. The journey would be a tremendous learning tool to that end.

It had proved to be a mistake.

Cologne had only taken four bodyguards in addition to Shampoo. There had not been any real trouble with the Musk in over three hundred years. It appeared that they had finally laid the hard feelings of the past to rest, not that it had not been the Musk's own fault for trying to raise a demonic evil to take over the world.

As they approached the fortress Shampoo was in awe. The stone castle stood on the top of a mountain. Sheer rock dominated three sides of it, with only one long and winding road that led to the top. The perfect defensible position. In all their history only Hu Chiang had ever managed to breach those walls. It was the principle reason the Musk had borne such a grudge against the Amazons for so long.

They were forced to wait several hours before being granted an audience. Shampoo used that time to quietly slip away from the others and go on an unguided tour of the fortress. She went through it high and low. The sentries were woefully inadequate in observation skills, and never detected her presence. The place was exceptional vast, if a little dreary. The most memorable part of her search, though, was not the fortress itself, but rather the view. When she looked over the wall and down into forever, she fell in love with the mountain. She silently vowed she would climb those cliffs someday.

Her tour came to an end. Cologne discovered her absence and tracked her down. Shampoo was given the undignified method of travel by being dragged by her ear and scolded the entire way with Cologne asking her if she wanted to start an incident. Her great grandmother was such a spoilsport. They returned just in time to be ushered into the main throne room.

Upon entering it Shampoo could feel the change in the air. It took her but a moment to pinpoint the source. It was the young man sitting upon the throne. Herb. He was a somewhat slender individual, with bluish, white hair and piercing red eyes. As the conversation between he and Cologne progressed, the manners he displayed to the matriarch left much to be desired. He treated her in a haughty, arrogant manner. Shampoo actually paid little attention to the conversation and kept far to the back of the party. It was stupid of her great-grandmother to drag her along, such things held little interest to her. She spent time looking at the guards and their armor design, trying to figure out which ones might be able to put up a fight and which ones were for show.

That was when the large youth dressed in tiger skins entered the room, bearing a massive stone bench that had to weigh at least a ton. He did it effortlessly with one hand. The bench fell to the floor with a loud crash as his eyes settled on Shampoo. Specifically her chest. The stare made her a little self-conscious. She had hit puberty not all that long ago and was starting to become aware of the stares she received from males. Not that she was ashamed of her body. Quiet to the contrary, she was happy she was filling out so nicely, but she was still not used to the attention. The youth in tiger skins was quickly joined by a young man in a wolf pelt. Shampoo never even saw the boy arrive. He was simply not there one moment, then present the next.

Shampoo began to worry. The duo's stares seemed strange. If she did not know any better she would have sworn they had never seen a girl before. They started to move forward when Herb noticed them.

"Would you two quit fooling around and get over here!" Herb's voice carried a tone of annoyance. "We are conducting important business!"

The duo went over to Herb's side, much to Shampoo's relief, though they now stared at all the women in the room. She attempted to follow the conversation between her great grandmother and Herb, but she was not able to really comprehend what was going on. All she could tell was that tone had become even more coarse between the two. She did not become concerned until she felt the bodyguards tense up. It was a subtle gesture, but Shampoo's training made her more than aware of the change in their demeanor. She tensed up as well, expecting the worst.

It never came to pass as the conversation eruptly ended. Cologne indicated the group should leave when Herb halted them.

"Before you go," Herb said. "why don't we have a little floor show for you. I understand you like a good fight. Mint! Lime!"

The two moved forward, looking curiously at one another. Herb turned to the soldiers.

"Men. Try to kill..." Herb trailed off as he looked to the party of Amazons. A smile creased his face as he saw the warriors, including Shampoo, tense up once again. "...Lime and Mint," he finished.

The men looked unsure at one another, then formed up and attacked. It was a futile gesture. Lime picked up the first attacker and threw him, like a bowling ball, into the group of soldiers. He took out half of them with that one blow. Mint did not idly stand by. He rushed forward and began taking out men with barehanded attacks. The remaining soldiers did not last ten seconds.

Shampoo knew enough to understand what they had just witnessed was a show of force, and an impressive one at that. Herb casually dismissed the Amazons with a wave of his hand.

Once out of sight and earshot Cologne gave her order. "We leave here. Immediately!"

One of the escorts, Sink, spoke up. "The arrogance of that mere male! How dare he address you in such a manner! Why did you not put him in his place?"

"Be silent!" Silk, one of the older members of the matriarch's bodyguard and one of the best warriors in the village, spoke up. "First, you never speak that way to any elder. I taught you better than that. Second, you do not make war on a battleground of the enemy's choosing. Third, if any action is to be taken, one of your betters will decide."

Sink withered under Silk's glare. Their discussion would continue at a later time. Silk turned to Cologne and spoke in a more proper tone. "Has he gone mad? Why would he provoke us like that?"

"I do not believe it was madness. It felt more like confidence. Whether or not it is justified remains to be seen," Cologne answered, then turned to Shampoo. "It was a mistake to bring you here child. If I had known it would be this dangerous I would have left you home."

"I can handle myself!" Shampoo huffed.

Cologne looked at her sadly. "Do not allow pride to become arrogance. It will prove your undoing."

As the party made their way to the main courtyard they all felt a massive buildup of chi. All turned to see Herb unleash a tremendous chi blast high into the sky, striking a single bird. The blast disintegrated it totally. It was the moral equivalent if using a .357 Magnum to kill a fly.

Herb smiled at the group. "I hate crows. They're a bad omen. Have a safe journey." He gave the party a condescending smile. Cologne returned it with a seemingly sincere one and departed with the envoy.

As they headed down the mountain Silk and Cologne began talking with one another.

"He has changed much since the last time we met him. He was always good with chi, but his abilities now..." Silk trailed off, then continued. "It's not only that aura of power he has now."

"Ah! So you noticed it too." Cologne said that as a statement, not a question.

"Noticed what great-grandmother?" Shampoo asked.

"His eyes child. The used to be blue."

After that incident all contact with the Musk was cut off. Rumors circulated about their actions. None of the rumors were good. And now it was just over two years since she had seen the members of the Musk Dynasty. There could be little doubt that their abilities had grown since Shampoo had last seen them. Ranma and the others could have no idea of what they were getting into. Not even Mousse really knew. Cologne had been very specific that Shampoo kept what happened to herself, not that she ever told Mousse much of anything.

So now the problem was how to locate Ranma. She had no idea of where they went and with the headstart they had she could not catch up to them without knowing where they were going. The only way she could think of following them was magic. She knew a spell that her great grandmother had taught her, but it was too time consuming. Maybe Minami had an idea.

It took Shampoo too much time to find Minami's house. Akane had visited her several occasions, but all the Amazon remembered was the street she said the ghost sweeper lived on. Shampoo came upon the house and saw Minami and a man, most likely her father, hurriedly rush to a waiting car.

"Minami, wait!" Shampoo cried out as she ran to the car.

Minami exited the vehicle. "What is it? Make it quick. I have a plane to Bolivia to catch."

"I need to find Ranma," she blurted out.

Minami smiled. "What? The guy run away? Good for him. Now maybe things will get normal around here."

Shampoo shook her head. "No. He in great danger. He go to attack a very powerful man."

Minami gave an exasperated sigh and got out of the car. "Hold on Dad. This will only take a minute." Minami turned back to Shampoo. "This is some of that martial arts crap, isn't it?"

Shampoo nodded. "Sort of. Ranma thinks he trying to find a cure and another man try to stop him. Herb is very powerful."

"Fine." Minami reached into a pocket and pulled out an object that looked like a compass. "This will help you find him. Whatever you do, don't lose it. Now, do you have any of his personal items? A shirt? A lucky charm? A lock of hair?"

The Amazon looked sheepishly at Minami and pulled out a lock of hair.

Minami stared in disbelief. "You actually keep a lock of his hair? Boy do you have it bad."

Shampoo blushed. "That not why I have it."

"Then why would you?" Minami asked. "The only other reason to have it would be for magic spells. Like this one, or a voodoo doll, or a love potion."

Shampooo's blush became even redder. That was the reason she had originally taken it. There was a time when she seriously considered using such a potion, but the Perfume incident taught her she would not influence Ranma's mind by using anything other than her own powers of persuasion. It was still a horribly tempting idea though. The only reason she kept it with her any more was because it reminded her of Ranma. Now she was grateful she did.

Minami placed the lock of hair on the compass. "Now close your eyes and hold out your hand." Shampoo did as she was instructed while Minami continued. "Now picture Ranma in your mind"

Shampoo felt Minami hold her extended hand. "That's it. Keep visualizing," the ghost sweeper continued.

Suddenly, Shampoo felt a sharp cut across her palm. She reflexively pulled back her good hand to strike Minami.

"Whoa! Ease up there 'Poo!" Minami shouted with the bloody knife still in hand. "I need your blood to fuel the spell. Now hold out the cut hand."

Shampoo was a bit put off. All Minami needed to do was say she needed blood and Shampoo would have given it. Nonetheless, she did as she was told. Minami allowed the blood to soak into the compass. Once she felt there was enough she released Shampoo's hand and told her to clasp the compass in the good one. Each girl held onto the object with one hand.

"Picture Ranma in your mind again. Get the image burned in there real good," Minami urged.

Shampoo obeyed. Picturing Ranma in her mind was easy. She had lots of practice.

"Got it?" Minami asked. Shampoo nodded. "Good," Minami continued, then cast the spell.

Shampoo suddenly felt the compass pull in a direction. There was also something else. The compass felt wrong.

Minami smiled. "It seems to be working. Now let me warn you, you have to focus on Ranma whenever you hold it in your hand or it won't work. If you picture the wrong person or lose the trail somehow you won't be able to get it back."

"It feels funny," Shampoo commented.

Minami smiled. "That's because you are basically a good person that's been magically enchanted. You're reacting negatively to the small part of demon trapped inside the compass."

Shampoo was shocked. "I know a little about magic Minami. Using blood magic with demons is dangerous. And only practitioners of black magic use it."

"Don't worry," Minami's voice sounded bitter. "I've had lots of practice using that kind of stuff. I learned from the one of the best damn Dark Sorceresses that ever was. My mother."

Shampoo thought she saw tears form in Minami's eyes as she turned to leave. Minami did not look back as she continued. "I've got to go. Ukyou will kill me if I miss the convention."

Shampoo afforded Minami a short nod as she turned to go herself. Ranma was all that mattered now. She had to get to him before he ran into the Musk. She focused his image in her mind and felt the demonic locator pull in a direction.

Ranma and Mousse followed Ryouga-bat as fast as they could. They had not traveled more than four hours when Ryouga-bat paused, desiring hot water.

Ranma looked annoyed as the lost one underwent his transformation. "Why'd you stop?"

Ranma's tone managed to irritate Ryouga. "One reason is that I wanted to tell you they seemed to have increased speed. I think it's got to be either a car or train. The movement is pretty even. The other is that you guys are moving too slow. You've got to figure out a way of going faster.

"Well excuse me, Bloodsucker. Some of us can't fly," Ranma said.

Ryouga balled up his fist and was going to return the insult when Mousse decided to play peacekeeper. "Look you guys. If I can swallow my pride and work with Ranma then the two of you can work together." Mousse saw his words had the desired effect. "I have a solution to the speed problem. I can run much faster in panda form. Of course that means allowing Saotome to ride me," he grumbled.

"Hey! It ain't like I want to ride a flea bag like you," Ranma retorted.

This time Ryouga got between them. "Cool it you guys. It sounds like a good plan. We'll use it." Cold water was doused in Ryouga and Mousse as the trio set out again. Ranma could not quite put his finger on it, but something felt wrong.

Hours later Shampoo felt the distance between her and her quarry increase. He was moving faster than her. She was going to have to run through the night if she hoped to catch up to Ranma. She began to pace herself better. At least he seemed to be heading north on a consistent basis.

Two days later:

Herb walked back and forth with Chiisuiton extended. Herb had been reassured that there would be tugged in a direction once it was near its mate, Kiifuiton. They had searched the mountain for a full day and turned up nothing. On this second day the prince was confident that it would be found. The members of the Musk Dynasty were running out of places to search. At last Herb was rewarded by a gentle pull on the ladle. Herb's future was secured.

"Lime! Mint! It's this way," Herb noticed the duo looking up in the sky. "What is it?"

Mint pointed upward. "It's a bat. You don't see them during daylight too often."

"DO YOU TWO HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING UP ON THIS MOUNTAIN?!" Herb roared.

Lime scratched his head. "Not really. We're just following you around. Don't you know what we're doing here?"

Herb facefaulted.

Mousse poured hot water on Ryouga and himself. All three pursuers looked down from their vantage point as Herb led the two companions to a stream.

"All right. We finally caught up to them. I say we make a plan to confront them," Ranma began.

"Mint's the fast one so I'll take him. Ryouga, you'll want to take care of Lime, I'm sure. Saotome, you take Herb. He's supposed to be the most dangerous of the lot," Mousse commanded.

"And exactly why do I have to take the most dangerous one?" he asked.

"As you remind us so often, you are the best martial artist there is. It only makes sense that you confront the best one. Unless you want to admit I'm better," Mousse smiled at Ranma. He knew what the response would be.

"I'll take him," Ranma stated plainly. "Now how about a plan?"

"Let's attack!" Ryouga growled.

"Good idea." Mousse seconded, and without waiting for Ranma, the two rushed forward.

Ranma just held his head. What kind of plan was that? Those two were probably going to get him killed. Having nothing better to do, he leaped down to his opponent.

Mousse smiled to himself. Ranma had fallen for the trap. Ideally, Mousse hoped Herb would kill Ranma outright, then he could be the hero and dispatch Herb in "revenge." With Ryouga there as a witness no one could call him a liar. Shampoo would probably thank him for avenging Saotome's death. The briefest of fantasies passed through his mind as he saw himself consoling her in her grief. If Ranma won his fight, he would undoubtedly be softened up, so Mousse could then kill him with ease. Of course the problem with that scenario was Ryouga. Mousse knew the human bat hated Ranma, but outright murder did not seem his style. And even if it was, Ryouga probably knew Ukyou would alienate him for allowing Ranma to die. That meant Mousse would have to kill him too. He bore the boy no personal grudge, and was reluctant to kill him. Maybe Lime would take care of the problem.

Ryouga got the drop on Lime and started assailing him with a variety of punches and kicks. The early advantage was lost as Lime quickly recovered and retaliated, trying to hit Ryouga again. This time Ryouga was prepared, and dodged many of the attacks with his somewhat superior speed.

Mousse threw a variety of knives at Mint, confident he could take him out early and watch the Ranma vs. Herb duel. The wolf-pelt covered boy easily dodged the original volley and landed a punch in Mousse's midsection. The Amazon quickly recovered, realizing Mint's speed was even greater than rumors made it sound. It appeared Mousse was in the fight of his life.

Ranma faced his opponent but did not attack. Herb did likewise, observing the newcomer and tried to take his measure.

"What are you doing here?" Herb inquired.

"We need that Kiifushtand, or whatever it's called," Ranma explained. "Just let us use it and we'll be on our way."

Herb scoffed at that. "How asinine! Do you honestly believe I would give in to the threats of a lowborn such as yourself? I am the next emperor of China!"

"Oh great!" Ranma thought. "Delusions of grandeur even greater than Mousse's delusions of adequacy." He continued aloud. "We'll give it back. Honest. But I really need it, and I won't take no for an answer." He cracked his knuckles for emphasis.

Ranma could have sworn he saw Herb's red eyes flare. "Very well! So be it!" Herb dropped into a fighting stance. Ranma answered with one of his own. The two began their duel.

The fighting was only slightly restrained at first, with both combatants feeling each other out. The feeling out period quickly escalated into a full out fight, both opponents giving everything they had. As the battle progressed Ranma quickly came to a conclusion, Herb was a skilled fighter, but Ranma was unquestionably better. It appeared Herb had been overrated.

Herb looked on with concern. The boy was proving himself a worthy adversary. Herb decided it was time to stop playing around and go all out.

Ranma threw a quick one-two combination with his fists. Herb blocked both attacks with the edge of his hands. As Ranma drew back he felt a burning sensation where he had made contact with Herb, almost as though someone had held a match for a few moments on those spots. Ranma attempted another fist strike to Herb's chest. Herb grunted as the prince's hand blocked Ranma's punch by catching the fist in the palm. Ranma felt the burning sensation ride up his arm. That pain was overridden as Herb connected with a fist of his own to Ranma's jaw. The burning sensation was repeated there as well. Ranma drew back and looked at Herb more closely. Now that he had a moment, he noticed Herb's hands had a blue glow to them. He was using some kind of chi attack. That made him more dangerous than Ranma had originally anticipated.

Herb smiled underneath the cowl. "Do you feel a little hot my friend?" Herb came at Ranma with a punch. Ranma countered by grabbing the elbow of the arm that came at him, preventing the blow from striking and containing the arm. Herb's second attempt ended up likewise. With Herb's arms trapped, Ranma unloaded a kick into Herb's solar plexus. He released Herb's arms and went for the knockout blow. The Amaguriken connected enough times that Ranma felt the armor Herb wore buckle, but the prince leaped back out of the attack's range before more than a handful of blows landed on bare flesh.

Ranma observed the damage he had inflicted on Herb. That was when he caught sight of what was contained under the armor. "Emperor my ass! You're an empress!"

Herb-chan looked down to see the shattered center of her armor. Her breasts now clearly showing through the rent in her chestplate. "You fool! How dare you do that to me! You will pay for this travesty!" Herb-chan threw off her cloak and cowl to show of her true features. Long white-blue hair and pointed elf-like ears adorned the slender girl's face. She literally growled as she revealed small, pointed fangs, similar to Ryouga's.

Ranma waited to see Herb-chan tense up before the attempted attack. He was caught off guard as the girl simply flew at blinding speed and connected with a kick to Ranma's jaw that nearly took his head off. As Ranma regained his feet he felt something loose in his mouth and reached back into it, coming out with a tooth. He flicked it away while giving Herb-chan an evil glare.

Herb-chan floated in the air and smirked. "It gets worse." She flew at Ranma once again. This time Ranma blocked the kick, but as the girl flew on by he was suddenly hit by twin bolts chi energy that trailed in Herb-chan's wake. She landed upon the ground and laughed. "Not so tough now, eh?"

Ranma just stared and wiped the blood off his lip. If it was a fight Herb-chan wanted, it was a fight Herb-chan was going to get. "Empress," he began. "This is just the beginning."

Mousse was becoming frustrated at his inability to hit the fast moving youth. At last Mousse caught a break. Mint jumped up and prepared to hit Mousse with a kick. The near blind warrior spread out a variety of caltrops where he had been a second ago as he got out of the area where Mint would be landing. Mint's foot landed squarely on one of the caltrops. Just as he jumped up in pain and brought up his foot to pull out the implement, his other foot landed on second spike. While he was distracted Mousse pulled out a long baseball bat and hit Mint with it. The blow sent the youth into a rock wall as he ended up on his back.

Mousse went in for the kill. He leaped up in the air and threw a volley of knives at Mint once more. Instead of dodging, as he did the other volleys, he snatched the knives out of mid-air and rolled out of the way. When Mousse landed Mint threw the knives, pinning Mousse to the rock wall by his robes. Mint had kept one knife back and held it menacingly before him.

"You hurt me. Now you're going to be hurt."

Mousse struggled as much as he could against his makeshift bonds, but he lacked the strength to pull loose. As Mint approached Mousse did the only thing he could do. With a flick of his wrist he produced a tiny squirt gun, shifted his wrist slightly and squirted himself, triggering the transformation. With his superior strength Mousse-panda tore free of the knives, placed some "cat's claws" on his forearms, and charged at Mint. The fight was back on.

Ryouga was becoming exhausted. All of his power did not seem to be doing him any good. Lime was shrugging off his most powerful blows and coming back for more. The lost one was not used to being the weaker fighter in a duel, and it was frustrating him to no end. There was one way around it. He allowed his frustration to become depression and felt his chi energy rising. He backed off from Lime and released the energy as the Shi Shi Houkoudan. The energy impacted Lime in the chest. The large warrior held his chest, and for a moment Ryouga thought he would fall over, but Lime held it together and went on the attack once again.

Lime's fist shattered stone behind the rock wall Ryouga had been in front of moments before. Ryouga decided to switch tactics and employed a Tenketsu to the wall as well, causing Lime to be doused in the shrapnel of the blast. The damage proved too much as the entire wall, as well as the tons of rock it supported, collapsed upon the duo.

Ranma and Herb-chan took little note of the noise from behind them. Their fight was too intense for either competitor to do anything than counter his opponent's attacks. Ranma tried keeping Herb-chan close to avoid her long range chi attacks, but that meant having to deal with the girl's glowing hands, and Ranma was losing that fight as well. There were burn chi marks up and down his entire body, mostly around the hands though as Herb-chan continuously blocked attacks. Ranma was at a loss of what to do. So wrapped up was he that he failed to hear some of the recently fallen rock move as Lime rose from under the tons of rubble.

Lime looked quickly around the shattered rock that lined the battleground he had so recently been fighting upon. He had been worried about winning the fight, and wasn't looking forward to fighting Ryouga again. The lost one was no where to be seen, no doubt buried in a rocky grave. Lime swiveled around and saw Herb-chan still in combat with Ranma. He ran over to help.

Herb-chan smiled as she glanced over Ranma's shoulder. With Lime's assistance the fight would soon be over. Herb-chan paused in her attack and built up a ball of chi energy in her hands.

Ranma saw the energy build up and was going to run left when he sensed the attack behind him. Instincts took over as he jumped over the tremendous punch Lime was going to connect with. The move, however, left him fully open to the chi attack Herb-chan was going to employ.

Just as Herb-chan planned. She gave a shout and released the attack. "BREATH OF THE DRAGON!"

As soon as Ranma was airborne he realized he had fallen for a trap. There was no way he could avoid the chi attack. In slow motion he saw the flames of blue chi energy fly towards him, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt this was it. There was no way he could stop that powerful an attack. However, as his mind seized up and a scream built up in his throat, it was not his life he saw flashing before his eyes. It was the ecstatic face of one purple haired Amazon.

He shut his eyes as the blast connected, feeling pain wash over him, but in that instant he knew what he had done to anger her, and the only thing that seemed to matter now was that he would never get to tell her.

Ranma landed in a heap by a pile of rubble, pain so intense he could hardly believe it ripped through him. As his vision began to dim he spoke out softly.

"Shampoo...sorry..."

Herb-chan's smile at Ranma's unconscious form lasted only a moment as she and Lime turned to hear the sound of rocks being moved aside as Ryouga finally dug his way out of his rocky prison. It took only a moment to survey the damage before he fully took in what had happened.

"You two are finished!" Ryouga charged Herb-chan and Lime.

Herb-chan waved Lime off. "I'll take care of this one. You help Mint." Lime did as he was told, leaving the leader of the Musk one on one with Ryouga. She waited patiently the coming assault.

Herb-chan seemed to flow out of the way of Ryouga's punch, bringing her knee up into his solar plexus. That doubled Ryouga over and allowed the princess to bring the point of her elbow squarely into the back of his skull. He went down on all fours, stunned. She finished up by bringing the back of her heel precisely between Ryouga's eyes. The orbs rolled into the back of his head as he fell unconscious to the ground. Herb-chan allowed her feet to go back to the same spot they had originally been She had finished him off in less than three seconds.

Mint was becoming frustrated. Mousse-panda was slower than him but the bear's durability was such he was having a hard time doing any damage. That was when he spotted Lime rushing over to help. As Mousse-panda shot out some multiple chains from his sleeves Lime rushed over and grabbed onto them. His prodigious strength allowed him to pull Mousse-panda off the ground and to whip him around with ease, spinning him in a circle.

"Time to play crack the whip, Mint," Lime said.

Mint understood and jumped up in the air as Lime released the cursed one in his direction. A kick connected fully with Mousse-panda's jaw, knocking him out.

Herb-chan came over and congratulated them. "You two did a great..." she trailed off as the duo began poking and prodding her chest.

"Are these breasts?" Lime asked Mint.

Mint continued to fondle Herb-chan's breasts. "They might be. Hey Herb! Why do you have..."

The rest of the question was cut off as Herb-chan sent both of them into the ground. "Do not do that ever again! Morons!"

Herb-chan continued to survey the carnage, silently wondering who the youths were. Perhaps they were enemies of her benefactor that wanted to stop his plans from coming to fruition, but the boy he fought seemed to want Kiifuiton.

That realigned Herb-chan's thinking as she grabbed chiisuiton once again and followed the pull to the source of the river. She instructed the recovered Lime to strike the spot where the kettle was supposed to be. Lime's blow shattered the rock along the stream's source, causing the water to start spraying the ground elsewhere. Herb-chan looked through the rubble and found the object she was seeking. Her hands fairly trembled as she finally had the cure to her malady. She quickly filled the kettle with water and urged chi energy, the same type she used to burn Ranma before, to flow into her hands .The water in the kettle quickly heated. Once she was convinced it was hot enough she poured the water over herself, triggering the transformation. Once again, Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty stood before the world.

"You two can poke my chest all you want now, but I'm afraid you'll be disappointed." Herb turned to see the two of them ankle deep in the newly diverged direction the stream was starting to flow in as they leaned over Ranma. Curiosity got the better of Herb as he went over to see what their attention was riveted upon.

"Do you think those are breasts?" Mint was asking his partner.

Lime fondled Ranma-chan's chest as well. "Could be."

"I didn't know they could come and go like that." Mint started examining his own chest.

Herb moved his compatriots out of the way and looked down on Ranma-chan's unconscious form. His shock lasted but a moment as his face began twitching.

"You...you dare mock me and my curse when you had the same one yourself!" Herb began shouting at Ranma-chan's unconscious form. "What arrogance! You will pay for this. 'Empress' indeed." Herb grabbed the ladle, Chiisuiton, and poured some water on Ranma-chan, locking her in her girl form.

Shampoo felt the compass stop pulling her as a hand suddenly clutched her heart. She had been visualizing Ranma the entire time, not allowing herself to be distracted. What could it mean that there was no more pull by the locator? Could Ranma be...NO! she refused to think that. He had to be alive. If he was not, then his death would be her fault. She had felt Ranma was close by, somewhere to the north where there were some mountains before the pull had disappeared. She doubled her speed

Herb smirked at his handiwork. All three would pay for nearly costing him his chance at regaining his manhood. He had Lime and Mint gather their opponents, dousing Ryouga with water to change him into a bat first. Once the other two were locked in their forms Herb gave further instructions to his cohorts.

"Pick them up."

Lime appeared confused. "We aren't just going to leave them?"

Herb scoffed at that. "And have them seek us out? I think not. They are coming with us. We need to know why they were attacking us. And I have special plans for my opponent. Special plans indeed." Herb began to laugh long and hard as the other members of the Musk made off with the cursed trio.

Shampoo arrived at the mountain hours later and began asking around if anyone had seen Ranma, or if there had been any other odd occurrences. She hit paydirt on the third try.

"I ain't seen no one that sounded like that," the man said. "But Ryou over there saw something peculiar." He indicated a man sitting at the bar with two friends.

Shampoo walked over and asked what he had seen.

"Well. It was kind of funny. Me an the other guys," He indicated his companions. "Heard a loud ruckus from up on the mountain. Now rockslides are pretty common, but we wanted to check it out anyway. Well down comes these three weird guys carrying a red haired girl and an unconscious panda. Turns out she got mauled by the panda and these guys were from the zoo and grabbed the animal. They said they were going to take her to the hospital."

Shampoo began to shake. Ranma was still alive. If he was unconscious then he had not gone willingly, and if he was in the hands of the Musk it meant terrible danger. She asked the men how the girl looked. The men reassured her Ranma-chan did not look too bad. All of her limbs were still on her. "Did they say where they were going?" She had to find them.

One of the other men spoke up. "I heard the guy in the wolf pelt say something about the airport. Maybe they're sending the panda back to China?"

Shampoo thanked the men and ran off. Herb would not bother taking Ranma to a hospital. It had to be a lie. If the Musk were going back to China and were taking Ranma along, and that seemed to be what they were doing, that meant they had something terrible in store. One of the rumors that came down from the lands of the Musk was that Herb had developed a taste for revenge against those that he felt wronged him, and Ranma had a bad tendency to irritate the hell out of all those around him.

Shampoo grabbed a cab and went to the nearest airport. If they were not there than she would go to the next one. And if not there, than the next one. She would search until she found them, and she had to do it quickly. If the Musk made it back to China, where they had more resources, it would be almost impossible to stop them. Not that stopping them now was going to be easy. Shampoo was exhausted from traveling overland, trying to catch up to Ranma and the others. And then she would have to stop the Musk single-handed, there was no time to summon the others. But she had to try something, after all, it was all her fault Ranma was in this mess. If she had not been so caught up in self-pity she would have been there and could have warned them about how dangerous the Musk really were. At the very least she could have gone along and helped. She could have kept Ranma from harm.

And there was something else. She had not really wanted Ranma harmed, but he had angered her so much that, for a brief while, she did wish something unpleasant would happen to him. Her own words came back to haunt her.

"Boys that play with girls hearts go to very bad place, Ranma. Hope you go there soon."

Well, he was on his way to a very bad place. It appeared to Shampoo that she got her wish after all. She tried hard not to cry.

And failed miserably.

Shampoo arrived at the second nearest airport and began asking around if anyone had seen the members of the Musk or Ranma. After about a half hour she was rewarded by a ticket seller that remembered seeing a youth in a wolf pelt walking around and accosting women until he was dragged off by a man with white hair. Shampoo found out there was a private charter heading to China and went to the gate it was at.

She arrived at the part of the terminal she was directed to and asked one of the people there about the flight.

"I can show you. This way." He directed Shampoo to follow him to one of the windows and pointed to a flight that was taking off. "Oops. Looks like they left on time. Well that sure doesn't happen often. Sorry." The man turned and left.

Shampoo watched the plane take off into the distance.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

She drove her fist through the large viewing window, shattering it. Blind panic flooded her thoughts. She had to get to China immediately. If the Musk made it to their fortress there was no way Ranma and the others could be rescued. The fortress was impregnable. She had to get to them before they reached their lands. Shampoo headed for the nearest ticket counter to get the first available flight to China. Only one plane that was leaving within the hour had any seats available. Once Shampoo heard the name she knew why.

The Skywrap Airline was more commonly known as "Deathtrap Airways." Their record number of crashes in one year rivaled all the other accidents the other airlines had in that same amount of time, combined. They were cleared of wrongdoing every time, but the general consensus was you were taking your life in your own hands if you traveled on them. As Shampoo boarded the plane the pilot managed to poke himself in the eye when he saluted the passengers.

Ranma was not the only one that was probably doomed.

The flight started out uneventful, with the flight making it to China without any problems. While they were still approaching Tokami the problems started. The pilot came over the intercom of the plane and told them they had to make an emergency landing short of their destination.

Shampoo stormed the cockpit. "We have to go on! A person's life is in danger!"

"Look, Miss," the pilot said. "We are having a great deal of difficulty here. If we don't make an emergency landing we're going to go down. Believe me, I've crashed enough times to know it'll take you longer to get where you're going if we wreck instead of making the landing."

Shampoo knew the man was right, even if she did not want to admit it. "How long will repairs take?"

"The number two engine just fell off sir," the co-pilot informed everyone.

"They might take a little while."

After they landed Shampoo, tried to find a connecting flight, but to no avail. The next one scheduled to leave was a full day away. Herb would have an impossible lead. She could never hope to overtake him. Now she had to decide her next course of action. Time was certainly of the essence. Herb could kill Ranma at anytime, and Shampoo was certain that was what kidnapping Ranma would lead to. Nothing she had ever heard indicated Herb knew the first thing about mercy.

She could try to contact the others and have them fly here, but that would take time she did not have. Even if they somehow managed to breach walls that only the greatest of the Amazons was able to do, they would still have to defeat the Musk and their soldiers. She wasn't even certain they could defeat Herb, Lime, and Mint in a straight up fight, let alone having a hundred soldiers crawling all over them.

How many people could she bring? Akane, Kodachi, and Ukyou might be able to hold their own against Herb and company. There was an outside chance the four of them could succeed where Ranma and the boys had failed, but it was a terrible risk. Genma and Soun? They might be able to take care of some ordinary guards, but against the Musk they would be useful only as cannon fodder. Their best days were behind them. Kunou was a buffoon that crumpled under one or two blows. Minami was in Bolivia. Happosai was still missing since his dismissal by Thor. She could not rely on help from the kidnapped victims. It was doubtful Herb would leave them in any shape to assist in an escape, if they were even alive by then. And Herb would have to be dealt with in some manner.

Shampoo pulled her hair in frustration. She would end up being in charge, which meant everything that happened would be her responsibility. She would have to guide an entire group of people in a land foreign to them to a lethal enemy, while hoping to maintain a low enough profile that they could somehow sneak into an impregnable fortress with far superior forces that was controlled by a ruthless and powerful ruler that even her great grandmother preferred to give a wide berth. And what if they failed? There would be nothing but corpses left. Herb would not casually disregard any rescue attempts. Even if they succeeded she could not see everyone making it out alive. The odds were too great. How would Kasumi deal with the loss of a sister and her father?

Shampoo did not think she could do it, help lead people she knew to their deaths. If only there was some way to get into the fortress without anyone finding out. Her mind fled back to the tour she gave herself when she was there. She discovered no secret passages. The walls were impenetrable, weren't they? Then it occurred to her. There was a way in. An incredibly dangerous and risky way in. It appeared her vow of climbing that mountain was about to become true.

When she had gazed down the mountainside she spotted an odd hole farther down the mountain, just a bit below what would have been the bottom of the fortress. She had not known what it was until an errant wind current blew her way. There was no doubting what the smell was. The hole was some sort of waste disposal system. It made sense since there was no where else to put the stuff. That would be the way into the fortress. Of course using it meant climbing several thousand feet of more or less sheer rock, but with Ranma's life at stake there really was no choice. Not only that, she was the only one that could do it, and she could set out immediately. There was no time to contact the others even if she wanted to. Besides, one person moving in stealth might succeed where many moving openly would fail.

There was still the Musk to consider, but moving alone allowed her a certain leeway there too. Aside from Kodachi, Shampoo felt she was the only one willing to do what would probably have to be done to rescue the others. And if anything had happened to Ranma, well, the fortress might have been designed to keep people out, but it could be used to keep people in almost as easily.

If they did something to Ranma, the halls would run thick with the blood of the Musk Dynasty and all who stood with them.

No one would get out alive.

Really special thanks to Ryan Anderson for writing a particularly sticky part.  
Also thanks to:

Harold Ancell  
Dr. Wade Tritschler  
Kevin J. Wible


	18. While the Cat's Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Ranma and the others are off in China, Akane and Tarou work out

Ranma ½ Presents:  
Shampoo ½   
Chapter 18

While the Cat’s Away…

Any C+C is greatly appreciated

Standard Disclaimer:  
I disclaim I own any of these guys. They belong to the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to. The non Ranma ½ guys are owned by their respective creators.

An Alternate Universe:  
What’s gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic). In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, neither of them realizing that Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo, Enjoy.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and briefly ended up engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. Last chapter things heated up between Shampoo, Akane, and Ranma as Ranma unwittingly accepted a date with Shampoo and ended up going out with Akane instead. Shampoo, feeling betrayed, left the dojo for a brief time. While she was gone Mousse mistakenly believed he had found a cure for the curses and informed Ranma and Ryouga of it. What he did not know was that a more powerful and dangerous version of Herb was also seeking the magic kettle, Kiifuiton, and was prepared to keep it by any means. The trio of men were defeated by the members of the Musk Dynasty and taken to China for Herb to avenge himself of the wrongs he felt were done to him. Shampoo followed hot on the trail. No one else has any idea of what exactly has happened to the boys and Shampoo, and are trying to get on with their lives while they wait…

Side note: An explanation of Crepe Suzette and the Iron Chef is at the end of the chapter.

“Ranma Saotome,” Godai-Sensei called out. It was a pointless gesture. It was obvious the boy wasn’t in his seat, but there was a procedure to go through.

“Ryouga Hibiki,” The cheerleader, Kyoko, had come in earlier looking for him, but his seat was empty as well. Godai saw Ukyou flinch at the name as he called it out. He had already asked her where Ryouga was. She had given some explanation about how he had some business to take care of and might not be back for a while. Even Godai could see she was horribly depressed over the matter. He silently wondered if his Kyoko ever worried about him, in the early days, the way Kuonji worried about her “tenant.”

“Shampoo,” Absent as well. All three of them, and Akane had given an ambiguous explanation about the two people who lived at her house also. Too many people had disappeared, and they had left those that cared behind.

Akane looked at the empty seats again. There were plenty of empty seats in the room today. Just like yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that. And seemingly too many days to keep track of. 

Where the hell was Ranma?

That was the question that plagued her these days. He had gone off with the Mousse and Ryouga to seek out Kiifuiton and solve their curses. From what Kasumi said, Shampoo had gone off with them when she discovered what had happened. 

It had been five days ago (an eternity to Akane’s perception) since Ranma left with the others. When he hadn’t come back after a couple of days she dropped by Ukyou’s to see if she’d heard anything. Ukyou had not been very responsive. 

Ryouga had not come back.

By the third day she went by Kunou Manor and was granted an audience with Kodachi. The Black Rose was unusually restrained when talking with Akane. No remarks about her being a commoner, or that “awful” Ranma’s friend, Kodachi was very civilized and simply wanted to know if Akane had seen Mousse. She informed the youngest Tendo that Cologne, the only one who might have known where the boys were, had disappeared after getting her hands on the artifacts she received for the map.

Mousse had not come back.

Akane was concerned about Kasumi. Shampoo’s absence was affecting her more than anyone else in the house. Akane could tell. She caught her older sister looking forlornly at the door to Shampoo’s makeshift bedroom more than once.

Shampoo had not come back.

None of them came back.

There was no word from any of them. No letters of challenge. No ransoms asked. No one bragging about defeating the great and powerful Ranma Saotome. Nothing. 

All of Ranma’s opponents knew he was not there.

Akane managed to convince Nabiki to have her “eyes and ears” network look for any information about Ranma or the others. Her sister had given in too easily though. Akane suspected it was because she was already trying to find out information on her most useful tool for money-making schemes. Who would have though someone like Nabiki would actually miss Shampoo? It didn’t matter though.

They turned up nothing.

Nerima was quiet. Quiet even by pre-Ranma standards. She’d heard more than a handful of people comment on how peaceful it had suddenly become, taking solace in the peace and calm. 

Even people that never met Ranma felt his absence.

The climate had turned pleasant. The forecasters managed to get the weather correct five days in a row. 

Even Mother Nature acknowledged Ranma’s absence.

It was like they dropped off the face of the earth. 

And Akane didn’t know how to find them. She cursed Ranma for doing this to her. Why couldn’t he contact her and put her mind at ease? Why did he have to be so insensitive? Why couldn’t he think about her for a change?

Why did he make her care?

Lunch was eaten alone. Sayuri and the others were avoiding her, not that Akane was good company at the moment. Her temper was getting shorter by the day and everyone knew it. 

Damn Ranma! It was all his fault!

Kunou came along to brighten her day. He asked where his “Chinese Dream” was yet again when he attempted to fight Akane in the morning, and now he was even more sedate. Perhaps he missed Shampoo-kun. 

“Akane Tendo!” Kunou suddenly announced with vigor. “The accursed Saotome is no longer here. It is time for our datERMGHPH!”

Akane clamped her hand down on Kunou’s obnoxious mouth. No one would think twice about it, if for no other reason than it enabled them to avoid hearing him give one of his speeches. 

“Kunou, Ranma’s just missing. He’ll be back, so no one can know about,” Oh how she hated saying the next part, “our date.”

He removed her hand from his mouth. “Very well, but I wish to go out tonight. Without my Chinese Love Goddess my heart can only turn to you for affection.”

Akane held her forehead as the headache came. She had given her word, and, aside from the way the evening ended, the tickets had been a godsend. She let Kunou know that, as long as kept his mouth shut, she would go out with him that night. It appeared there was one good thing about Ranma’s absence. She was not going to have to explain to him why she had gone out with Kunou.

Akane dressed for her date at the appointed time. There was none of the nervous energy she felt when she prepared for her dates with Ranma. It felt more like she was going to the gallows. The whole house had that air about it. Akane sighed to herself. Who would have thought an unwanted fiancee and a Chinese Amazon would have so much impact on her family’s life? 

Akane left the house quietly and met Kunou on a neutral ground. Her father would have gone demon form in point five seconds if Kunou came to the door, announcing he was there for a date with her. Not that it would not take care of the date problem, but Akane didn’t feel like dealing with her father’s tearful aftermath while trying to explain why she wasn’t betraying Ranma. It just wasn’t worth the hassle. So she agreed to meet him near the restaurant. To his credit he was already waiting there, dressed in a perfect suit with a beautiful bouquet of red roses in hand. 

“Akane Tendo! You’ve come to me at last!” He rushed forward and tried to glomp onto her only to meet a fist. 

“I only agreed to go on a date with you. I didn’t say anything about letting you touch me!”

“Akane Tendo, you need not hide your heart from me. I know you did agree to this date because you wish to be with me. There is no shame in admitting your ACK!” Kunou’s second attempted glomp ended like the first.

“Knock it off Kunou!” Akane was getting more than a little irate. Was she going to have to fend him off every three seconds?

“But my sweet, I wish to share my passion with you. Why don’t we…” Kunou’s third attempt was repulsed by a punch that caught him in the stomach. The attacker was not Akane, however.

“The lady said she wants to be left alone. Now go away, or I’ll make you disappear. And I warn you, I’m not a magician.” Tarou smirked.

Kunou recovered nicely, then drew a bokken from out of nowhere as he went into his “Blue Thunder” pose. “You sir, have no business here, and you have dared sully my person. I shall teach you some manners as I smite thee!”

Tarou drove a knee into Kunou’s stomach, then gave him a kick that sent him far away. 

“Oh well. I guess it’s his own fault for cutting the date short because of a fight. My promise has been taken care of.” Akane looked at Tarou. “Thanks. He was getting on my nerves. How,” she stopped abruptly as she remembered what her feelings for Tarou currently were. She turned around and crossed her arms.

“What?” Tarou asked. “What is it?” 

“You’re a little late for our meeting. Say about a month.” 

Tarou was afraid of this. It was pure coincidence that he saw Akane while on one of his “Happosai runs.” (The little pervert had pulled a disappearing act again.) He figured by saving her from the jerk he could get back on her good side. It appeared he would have to add something to make his way back on even ground.

“It wasn’t my fault. I got jumped by some old foes of mine. There were,” he paused for a moment, “five of them. I managed to kick their asses of course, but by the time it was over they’d ruined my suit and I missed our get together.” He tried giving one of those puppy dog eyes routines he saw girls do when they wanted to get sympathy.

Akane’s features softened. “You should have let me know. Were you all right?”

Tarou snorted derisively. “Of course. It just took a while to take care of them. Forgive me?”

Akane smiled. “Well sure. It’s not like it was your fault anyway.” As she finished a giggle burst from her lips.

“What’s so funny?” Tarou got the distinct impressions she was laughing at him. He tried to suppress the rage that was building inside of him. No one made fun of him, not because of his name or any other reason.

“It’s that look you’re trying to give. Please stop with the eyes!”

Tarou relaxed and gave a chuckle out loud. He supposed he did look silly that way. In any case it was nice to hear Akane laugh. “Why don’t we try eating now? Make up for that time I got hassled?”

“Sure. It’ll be more fun than what I had planned tonight.”

“What were you doing with that jerk anyway? He’s not your boyfriend, is he?” Tarou was a little anxious about the answer. If that was her boyfriend, getting him out of the picture would be easy. Real easy.

Akane made a noise of disgust. “No way! I only went out with him because I owed him a favor. We were going to eat here.” Akane indicated the restaurant that stood before them. 

“Well, no sense in letting a perfectly fine evening like this go by.” Tarou led the way into the restaurant. Making up with a girl was easy. All you had to do was lie and they would be eating out of the palm of your hand. He was learning the proper procedures for dating rather quickly.

The inside of the restaurant was of a very elegant design. Once inside the duo approached the maitre’d. “Can I help you, sir?” 

Tarou didn’t like the way he said that. It sounded like he thought Tarou was nothing more than an “unkempt youth” as the man would probably put it. “We have reservations. They are under the name of…” He turned to Akane.

She picked up on the hint immediately. “Kunou.” She wasn’t going to feel bad about misleading the man. It was Kunou’s own fault he couldn’t make it, and he would have wanted Akane to have a good time.

The maitre’d looked Tarou over. “You don’t appear to be the Mr. Kunou I know.”

Tarou saw this was going to take a little explaining. “Akane, why don’t you freshen up while I clear up the matter with the gentleman?”

Akane saw the pleading look in Tarou’s eyes. Besides, she did want to freshen up anyway. She gave Tarou a smile and left. He would take care of the problem.

Tarou grinned back at her as she departed. Akane had smiled at him, triggering that same feeling he had the first time she smiled at him. No way he was going to let this night get ruined. He turned to the maitre’d. “Nice tie,” he said as he adjusted it slightly.

Katsuhido was in one of the bathroom stalls, “taking care of business,” when he heard the doors to the restroom opened violently. He listened to an animated conversation begin.

“What is the meaning of this?!” the first speaker uttered in a shocked tone of voice.

The second man spoke up. “You saw that lady out there? Well she and I are on a date and we need a reservation here. If you don’t get us a seat by the time she comes out of the restroom, I will be very angry and you will be very disappointed. Would you like to know why you are going to be disappointed?” 

“Y…yes. I would, sir.” The first speaker said. 

“Because you will be out of a job when I tear up this joint. And when I say tear up, I mean tear up. You see, I won’t do it as you see me now, you’ll see me do it as this.”

Katsuhido heard the sound of water running and some other odd sound. Almost like a bull grunting.

“What are you?” The first speaker gasped.

Katsuhido heard the water run again before the second man answered. “I’m hungry and pissed. Now I believe you want me full and happy, don’t you?” 

“I’d like to, but you really need a suit and tie, sir.” Katsuhido listened intently to the response.

“What size do you wear?” The second speaker asked.

Akane came out of the restroom to see Tarou now dressed in a nice suit. It was noticeably tight in his chest, but aside from that it looked great. And familiar.

“Where did you get the suit?” she asked

“The maitre’d was kind enough to loan me an extra one he had. I thanked him profusely for it. Shall we go?” He led Akane to an empty table. They both missed the man come out of the restroom, complaining about how the restaurant should keep weirdo, half naked men out of the toilets. 

Tarou had thought the dinner went exceptionally well. The money he used from the maitre’d’s wallet proved very useful. The only problem was that Akane quieted up after the first ten minutes or so they were together. As they walked out into the night air, Tarou mentioned it.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that my fiancee has gone missing and I’m a little worried about him. The jerk!” She answered.

Tarou was in shock. She had a fiancee? “You never mentioned a fiancee.”

“Well, it’s not like I chose him. It was something our fathers set up.”

That was a relief. He didn’t think that sort of thing was done anymore. If the guy left her, then that made it pretty obvious the fiancee did not want anything to with it, though why someone would abandon someone as appealing as Akane was beyond him. Still, it sounded like she was concerned about him. Time to learn more about the guy. “What’s his name?” A name was a good way to start. He had to know who he was going to intimidate out of the picture if the guy showed up again.

“Ranma Saotome,” she sighed.

Tarou nearly fell over from the second shock. Saotome? Saotome? Akane was engaged to SAOTOME?! It took him almost a full minute to recover from that little fact. After the knowledge settled in, Tarou began to reconsider his initial reaction. This would not complicate matters. Quite to the contrary, it was icing on the cake. He would beat the shit out of Ranma and steal his girl as well. Oh, it was just too good.

Of course there was the odd fact that Akane did not seem to mind Tarou trying to beat up her fiancee. He had to think about that one for a while. Maybe he never told her? Now that he thought about it, Ranma didn’t know Tarou’s name, and he had never changed in front of Akane. And, better yet, she may not even care the two had fought. 

Tarou was trying to decided what to do next when the couple was assaulted by a number of punks in animal masks.

“Hand over all your precious metals and you won’t get hurt,” The Fox said.

Tarou chuckled and was about to wipe the street up with them when Akane jumped to the forefront. 

“I’ll take care of these guys.” She gave the gang members a menacing glare.

Tarou took a step back and bowed. “They’re all yours.”

“Aren’t you going to try to stop me?” Akane was shocked. Ranma would have tried to protect her and tell her to keep out of the way. Almost everyone she knew would have done that with her.

Tarou moved forward. “If you’re asking for help I can…”

“No!” Akane cut him off. “I can handle it.” She was actually happy to see him step back once again. He was showing faith in her martial arts ability. No one ever did that. Everyone treated her like a joke, just like when Ranma and the others went to get the magic kettle and left her behind. 

The fight didn’t last long. Street punks were no match for someone trained in Anything Goes Martial Arts. The mask gang was left in crumpled piles of battered flesh by Akane’s handiwork. 

Tarou clapped in appreciation. “Pretty good.” He could have done it quicker, but Akane had a certain, brutal style.

She beamed at the praise. “Thanks. Most people don’t take my martial arts seriously.”

That got Tarou’s attention. So she liked martial arts and wanted people to respect her. He might have just found a way to get closer to her. “I’m a pretty good martial artist myself. I could give you a few pointers.”

“I don’t think I need a few pointers,” Akane said.

Tarou dropped into a defensive stance. “Then hit me.”

“I don’t want to.” Akane liked Tarou. Swinging at him was the last thing she wanted to do.

“We’ll make it a contest. If you win I’ll treat you to dinner again. If I win, I’ll teach you my style of martial arts. Unless you think you can’t win…” he let the implication trail off.

Akane went into anger mode. So now he accused her of being a pushover. Well, it looked like he was going to be treating her again. She dropped into a stance and threw a punch. Much to her surprise it was one that he easily blocked, and then he followed up by throwing her in a pile of garbage.

Akane examined her dress. It was ruined. She rose to her feet and threw another wild swing. This time Tarou caught the fist and twisted her arm behind her back and wrapped his other one around her neck, gaining a position of total control. She tried to resist but the boy applied a little pressure to get her to stop. 

“OW! That hurts!” Akane said through gritted teeth. Ranma didn’t do things like that when they sparred.

Tarou stopped applying pressure, but kept the arm pinned behind her. “For someone that doesn’t need a few pointers, I sure took you out easy.” He felt her start to resist again. “Now, now. I didn’t mean that as an insult. I just wanted to point out to you that you could use a little improvement.” 

Akane could not help noticing his breath in her ear as he spoke. He was leaning in very close, his body pressing against her back. Much to her surprise she discovered she was not that angrier with him. He had just humbled her, and she hated it when people pushed her around. She couldn’t help but feel there was something underlying everything he was doing to her. She just couldn’t quite place what it was.

He reluctantly released her from the hold and took a step back, just in case she lashed out once more. She looked at him with intensity, but not anger. 

“Tell you what,” he began. “We’ll begin your training tomorrow night. Meet me here at eight o’ clock. I’m going to take you someplace special to train.”

Akane nodded and turned to go. “Should I bring a gi?”

Tarou smiled. “No. Where we’re going you won’t need a gi. Wear regular clothes you won’t mind working out in.” He turned to go as well, but one errant thought occurred to him. “By the way, I promise to replace that dress. Once I’m done training you.”

Akane watched him go. She was not angry with him at all. On the contrary, she appreciated the attention. It took her a while, but she thought she figured out what it was that was underlying what he was doing. He was dealing with her from a position of respect. That was why he let her take on the gang all by herself. He treated her as an equal, not as an inferior, even though he was better at martial arts. Well, she wasn’t going to let him down. She would be able to deal with whatever he threw at her, then she could show him and everyone else what she was capable of. She found herself looking forward to the lesson. It just might help her in the way she needed with her training. If she had been better, Ranma and the others would have taken her along. Then maybe everything would be all right instead of the way they were now.

She managed to sneak into the house without anyone seeing her in the ruined dress. There would be too many questions to answer about that. The next night she slipped out saying she was going to a movie. Lying to her family wasn’t easy, but she would not want them to needlessly worry. And if she met some guy they didn’t know, worrying was exactly what they would do. Not to mention her father accusing her of turning her back and Ranma, and a whole slew of other things she did not have time to deal with. 

She had dressed in some loose fitting older clothes like he asked. Once she arrived at their destination she saw he was already waiting for her. At least he was prompt. She noticed he was dressed in the gear she had first met him in. After exchanging greetings he led her to the docks near Nerima.

“What are we doing here?” she asked. The docks were a bit dark and she always heard weird stories about the people that hung out there. Judging by the looks of some of the people she passed by, a lot of the stories were probably true.

“It’s your first lesson. One of your problems is you hold back when you fight,” He explained.

“I do not!” she protested.

“Yes you do. You could have taken out that gang at least twenty percent faster if you hadn’t been holding back.”

“Well,” she said sheepishly. “I didn’t want to hurt them. It was pretty obvious they didn’t know what they were doing, fighting wise.”

Tarou shook his head. “They attacked you. They deserve what’s coming to them when they do stuff like that. It’s called responsibility for your behavior. What if they had attacked someone who couldn’t defend themselves? Would they have shown the same restraint you did? No. There are some people in this world who don’t ‘play by the rules’ as the saying goes. If two people are evenly matched, and one fights by those so called rules and the other one doesn’t, the one who doesn’t will always win. You have to choose if you want to be a winner or a loser.”

“It’s not as simple as that,” Akane tried to explain.

“Actually it is as simple as that. Other people try to confuse the issue with things like honor and principle. Hey, those are ideal things, but this isn’t an ideal world we live in. People say you can’t kick a guy in the groin or thumb him in the eye in a fair fight. But unless both fighters are the same height and weight, the fight isn’t fair. No one ever says having a reach advantage is unfair. And if you have more strength to put behind your blows than the other guy, how is that fair? Fair fighting is a myth put forward by bigger stronger guys that wanted an advantage. Can you honestly say you have never taken advantage of an opponents weakness?” Tarou asked.

Akane remembered her fight with the Dojo Destroyer. She had gone for the soft spot on his face to finish him off. It was his choice to fight with the injuries, but she had still taken advantage of it. “No. I can’t.”

Tarou smiled. “Right. It’s good to hear you admit that. Most people would try to deny it, but you don’t. So get those so called rules out of your head. The name of your school is ‘Anything Goes Martial Arts’ correct?”

Akane nodded her head.

“Time to start living up to that title. Tonight.”

Akane noticed they were now in a poorly lit section of the docks. About a dozen rough looking men reeking of sake were sitting around looking at the couple. One of the larger ones approached the couple.

“Well, well, well, what have we here?” the roughneck addressed his partners. “It looks like a pretty lady and her little friend. Nice pantyhose you got there boy. You some kind of queer?”

The thug was too drunk to notice the dangerous gleam in Tarou’s eyes. “Why you so interested? Cruising for a piece of ass?”

That got a lot of chuckles from the thug’s buddies, which served only to anger the man. He drew back his fist and began to shout. “Why you little…”

He never got a chance to finish as Tarou connected with a kick to the man’s face, sending him immediately into unconsciousness. That had the effect of angering all his friends as they moved to defend their fallen comrades honor.

Akane moved to help Tarou when he pushed her away. “This is a training exercise. Stay back and watch how I fight. Don’t get involved!”

Akane was reluctant, but agreed. She saw several of the people pulled out weapons and tried to take out Tarou. It was a joke. He finished the whole lot of them in less than ten seconds without breaking a sweat. 

He turned to Akane. “Did you see how I did that?”

Akane nodded. He used a lot more force than necessary to disable them, but they had attacked first, and they were using weapons. They couldn’t have known how overmatched they were. Maybe what he said made sense

“That’s how you fight. Now I’m not saying cripple or kill a guy every time, but you got to be prepared to do it if you think it’s necessary. Otherwise you may be the one who ends up hurting.”

Akane sat there pensively. “I think I’d better call it a night.”

Tarou looked shocked. Had he gone too far? He was really only trying to help her. Did she think he was too viscous, or did not like his outlook in life? He had no idea what to say as she turned to go. 

She had not taken more than a dozen steps when she looked over her shoulder. “Same time tomorrow night?”

Tarou grinned. He had her. “Yeah! That’d be just fine.”

Akane lay back in her bed and thought about what Tarou had said. He had given her a lot to think about, and she desperately needed to think about something else until Ranma returned. 

Interlude  
Six Devils

Along the coast of Japan:

The man in black admired his troops. The fifth devil was at his side and but three remained. The fishing village had been abandoned years ago, but the remains of the buildings remained. This one was going to take a little more effort. His body had been blown into long, lost, little pieces.

The man in black raised his hands and allowed the magic to flow through him once more. Dust began to coalesce before his feet. The dust began taking the form of a man. It took but several minutes for the gray particles to cease forming, then begin to harden. The gray of the dust took on a more flesh colored tone as features began to form from the material. Eventually, a normal looking, if dead, young Japanese male lay before him.

“He’s not moving,” The man in stone spoke. 

“Be at ease, just give it time.” The blind swordsman soothed.

A tremendous lightning bolt crashed from the skies and struck the body. It had the desired effect as the heart began to beat. Within moments of that small, blue streaks of electricity began to flow from his body.

“All he needed was a recharge.” The man in black smiled under his cowl. “Six. It’s almost over.”

End Interlude

The next three days involved training in Tarou’s style of fighting. Akane’s crosstraining in the normally eclectic style that was Anything Goes and Amazon styles helped her adapt to Tarou’s in no time at all. The youth was a taskmaster though. The training was far more intense than anything she had gone through with her father or Ranma. Tarou held nothing back, and she was grateful for it, no matter how much she ached after a session. He was treating her as a serious martial artist. 

And it felt good. 

Tarou knocked on the door of the Tendo Dojo. He wanted to surprise Akane and meet her father. After all, if he was going to be taking the place of Ranma, he had better get on the good side of her old man. The door was opened by a large individual with glasses. 

“Hi there! You must be Mr. Tendo. I’m the guy that’s training Akane.” Tarou began pumping Genma’s hand profusely. 

Kasumi came up to the door behind Genma. “Oh no. That’s Mr. Saotome. Father is inside. Follow me.” She turned to go.

The revelation made Tarou scowl at Genma. “Let go of my hand, fat ass!” He ripped his hand out of Genma’s and gave him a dirty look. Any jerk that could spawn Saotome should be beaten up for contaminating the gene pool with Ranma. 

Kasumi called for Akane while Tarou introduced himself and sat before Soun, silently praying the man did not ask Tarou his full name. He had to find Happosai and change it soon. It was a loose end that was going to get him into trouble.

Soun appeared less than enthusiastic to see Tarou. He exhaled a puff of smoke from his cigarette. “So you’re helping train my daughter. I was…unaware of that.”

Tarou gave an inward frown at that. He had hoped Akane had been open about their relationship. He wasn’t really surprised by it though. It was one of the reasons he had dropped by. He’d tried to take her home more than once, but she had protested profusely, and the fact of the matter was he really did not want to press the issue. Before Mr. Tendo could start grilling him about what he planned to do with his daughter he decided to go on the attack. 

“Where’s this Ranma I hear so much about?” Tarou then hit his head as though he said something stupid. “Oh that’s right. He went missing. Don’t suppose you heard anything from him?”

The preemptive strike had moderate success. Pointing out a major flaw, like the girl’s fiancee had disappeared without a word to anyone, would put negative thoughts about Ranma in Soun’s mind. Hopefully Tarou would get one up on him by simply being here. Soun frowned at the thought of Ranma’s absence rather than frowning at Tarou. 

Akane finally came downstairs and looked nervously at everyone. “Tarou, what a pleasant…surprise.”

That she confirmed she knew the boy settled things in Soun’s mind. He asked Akane to step outside with him, and began to speak with her.

Tarou was shocked to hear sudden wailing from outside. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FIANCEE? HE’S BARELY GONE A WEEK AND YOU’RE ALREADY SEEING OTHER MEN!!!”

Tarou could just make out her insisting she was not seeing him and they were only friends. Well, it was better than nothing. Akane eventually returned with a perturbed look on her face, some of it directed at Tarou. She grabbed the youth’s hand and told him to leave with her. He allowed himself to be dragged along. As distracted as he was, there was great relief he was leaving the house. There had been a feeling of being watched while he was in there, and Tarou listened to his instincts. They had kept him alive in more than one occasion.

Nabiki looked up from the video screen that led to the spy camera outside the window. So Akane was seeing the guy that attacked Ranma a few months ago. Tarou was his name, but everything else was an enigma. She was going to have to divert some of her people to following him. She had several reasons for doing so. First, it was so that her sister was not in any danger from being used by the guy. If he was trying to use her as a tool against Ranma, Nabiki would see to it Akane knew. The second was she hated unknowns. And the third was, he just might prove useful to her. Hard to say which one was the most important. They were all good reasons.

“You should have let me know you were coming,” Akane told him reproachfully. 

Tarou turned angrily to her, something she was not expecting. “All you have to do is say you’re ashamed to be around me and I’ll leave. All you have to do is say it.”

“Look, if I was ashamed of you I wouldn’t be training with you. It’s just that I knew that was how my father would react.”

Tarou put his hands on his hips in an almost effeminate gesture. “When were you planning on telling him about us?”

“Well,” Akane did not want to tell him she was planning to keep quiet about it as long as she could. “I was going to eventually.”

“Right.” He didn’t want to argue with her, though he was surprised he felt so strongly about her refusing to tell her father. If he wasn’t so strong in personality, he would have sworn he was hurt by her refusal to tell her family.

Tarou led Akane to someplace other than they had been working out at of late, confusing her. “Where are we going?”

“You’re ready for your next level of training. We are going some place rough and tough.” He gave her a level look. “Are you ready or are you scared?”

Akane frowned. “I’m ready for anything.” And with that Tarou led her completely out of Nerima and into a part of Tokyo she had never seen. He told Akane of the vague rumors that were spoken of an underground fighting arena that existed somewhere in the city. The thing was almost a legend due to the fact the law never seemed to be able to catch up to it. One night it would be there, the next it was not. Tonight was one of those nights it was present, and Tarou knew how to get there.

This section of town was surprisingly quiet. Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen a living soul for at least three blocks. Even at this time of night there should have been something, but there was nothing, not even noise. It unnerved her to no end. There was something horribly unnatural about it.

“Don’t let it get to you,” Tarou said, almost as though he read her mind. “The first time I came here the silence almost spooked me too. Almost. It has something to do with the way they can keep out of the cop’s hair. Now here it is.” He pointed to a warehouse a little distance away. “Oh by the way, it’s a little rough, so don’t be surprised by what goes on here.”

The duo were ushered into the structure by a large black man in an equally black duster. The inside was nothing like the outside. Loud music blared through overhead speakers amongst a crowd of various people. There were businessmen rubbing nose to nose with body pierced gang members. Yakusa and gaijin gangsters walking and talking side by side. Every kind of seedy person Akane could think of, and many she could not. And there were fighters galore. Muscled men and women in all sorts of unusual garb. Akane could tell a little about them from the way they moved. Most of them knew what they were doing. 

“Is it just me, or does this place seem bigger on the inside than it does on the outside?” Akane had to shout a little to be heard over the music. 

“Probably. This place defies a lot of natural laws, sort of like Nerima if you stop and think about it.” Tarou shrugged. “For instance, I’ve seen some rugged fights here, but none of them ever leave the arena floor.” Tarou indicated the open, circular pit that was at least two hundred feet long and one hundred feet wide. “Spectators don’t have to worry about being hurt.”

The PA system blared loudly to all in the place as a gentleman in a black suit and tie stood atop a podium in the arena. “Ladies and Gentlemen. LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEAGHR!!!” 

The man was struck from behind by a leather clad biker type with an empty whisky bottle in one hand and a full rum bottle on the other. He used the empty one on the announcer, of course. As the guy fell to the floor, the new speaker took a swig of the full bottle, then addressed the crowd. “I always hated that guy. Now listen up. It’s open invitation tonight. Chancer will be lettin’ ya’ know the odds fer each fight as they come up.” he indicated an odd man in glasses seated in a special section that was cordoned off. 

The new announcer spoke again. “The first fight tonight is a little one on one action. The first contender is a wrestler from the U.S. His name is JUSTIN CREDIBLE!!!”

Chants of “Justin Asshole” went up from the crowd as a young man came out from a door in the wall next to the pit. He wore cut off jeans and no shirt as he proceeded to tell the crowd they were “number one” as he stuck his middle finger up at everyone. 

“AND HIS OPPONENT,” The speaker paused and snickered. “IS CHASTITY!”

The crowd laughed at the Justin, who just looked at the opposite door until a rather slender woman with her face pointed down to the ground entered the arena. Justin laughed at the woman. 

“All right lady. You want me to go easy on you or rough?”

Chastity looked up at him at last, allowing him to see the green ionic energy that replaced her insides to emit from her eyes. “I like it rough.”

“Uh oh!”

“THE WINNER OF THE MATCH IN FIVE SECONDS, DUE TO PAINFUL SUBMISSION, CHASTITY!!!”

The people that had bet on Justin lasting more than ten seconds tore up their tickets, complaining how they thought he could run faster than that.

Akane watched the fight with mixed feelings. “What are we doing here?”

“It’s time to see you use what you’ve learned. Tonight’s an open invitational. You’re scheduled to fight.” Tarou said. He watched her closely to get her reaction.

“You didn’t even ask me!” 

He had hoped it for something a little less…enthusiastic than that. “Fighting in a dojo is one thing, fighting for real is something else altogether.”

“I know that,” Akane responded. “I’ve been in enough real fights to know that.” 

“Not with what I’ve taught you, you haven’t. Here’s where you put your skills to the test.” 

Akane scowled at that. She did it to cover up her nerves. Trying to use Tarou’s philosophy of what was basically ruthlessness did not go over as easily as she thought. Not that she wasn’t trying to be above using what she learned, it was just she was uncertain she was ready. Still, Tarou hadn’t led her astray so far, so maybe this was the next stage. 

“All right. I’ll do it. Who do I fight?” Akane was not going to back down from the challenge.

“Let’s go see.” And Tarou led her to the match postings as the next fight was announced.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. PRESENTING THE NEXT CONTENDER. HE’S A MARTIAL ARTIST FROM THE FAMED CITY OF KUN’ LUN. HE IS, DAVOS, THE STEEL SERPENT.”

A man dressed in a skin tight dark blue and green gi stepped out from the left side of the arena. His suit had an opening down the middle if his outfit revealing a simple black tattoo of a snake on his chest. He also wore a green mask that hid the upper half of his face.

“AND HIS OPPONENT. COMING FROM THE STREETS OF LAS VEGAS. HE IS A BOXER WHOSE SKILLS ARE UNRIVELLED IN THE SPORT. PRESENTING BALROG.”

A huge black man wearing boxing gloves stepped onto the arena floor. 

“FIGHT!”

“THE WINNER OF THE MATCH IN TEN MINUTES AND FOURTEEN SECONDS. AS A RESULT OF KNOCKOUT. STEEL SERPENT!”

Steel Serpent’s fist continued to glow as he stood over the beaten man. “My power surpasses what it once was. Daniel Rand is a dead man !”

No one felt like being Daniel Rand tonight. 

Natsuma looked around the arena. This was surely going to be a place where she and her sister could advance in their martial arts training. Then they could at long last find their father, confident they were worthy of inheriting the title of the dojo. She turned to ask her sister what she thought of the place. 

“Karumi?” She was nowhere to be seen.

“Oh no! Not again!”

Karumi couldn’t help herself. She was hungry and had to eat something, NOW! Fortunately, there was food aplenty at the tables. Of course there were people eating at them, but she figured they wouldn’t mind missing some of the food. She was nothing more than a blur as she seized side orders and sandwiches. Salads and main courses. Drinks and desserts. She had just grabbed a prime rib from a man who was dressed like a king from a deck of cards, and had her sights set on some lemon marange pie at another table, when the other person seated next to the man held out her arm. Ordinarily, Karumi would be able to dodge such a thing. She was the fastest person she knew. But not this time. The arm shot out even faster than she could move. 

The blow caught her right in her mid-section. Despite what velocity she had built up the woman who had shot out the arm did not even react to the impact. The arm remained motionless, even after it connected, leaving Karumi draped over it as she tried to catch her wind. She still had enough wits about her to notice the woman, who seemed to have aces all over her outfit, didn’t appear pleased. 

Natsuma looked desperately around for her sister. Knowing Karumi, she had undoubtedly run to the dining area to fill that bottomless pit of a stomach she possessed. Too bad they lacked the money to pay for much of anything. If she got them thrown out of here like she had so many other places…

She did not have to worry about it. Her sister was located at a table, gorging herself on every kind of food imaginable. Of the two others seated at it, the man that looked like he was from a card deck seemed to be pleased, watching Natsuma’s sister eat. The large woman, however, looked pissed. Natsuma approached the duo, fearing the worst.

“I’m sorry sir,” she hoped the man was in charge. If it was the mean looking woman she did not like the possibilities that represented. “If my sister did something to offend you I apologize. We are a little bit short of funds now and my sister is sort of,” She looked at the constantly growing stack of plates, “hungry.” That was something of an understatement. 

The man just chuckled amusedly. “Sit down dear girl. Make yourself comfortable.” Natsuma did as she was asked as the man continued. “Help yourself to whatever’s on the menu.”

Natsuma looked at him suspiciously. Few people were so generous to strangers, not that the man didn’t have the air of money around him. But it was her experience those with money tended to keep it, unless they thought they could get more. And at an establishment such as this, that sort of attitude was on everyone’s faces.

“I thank you, sir, but you really don’t have to.”

The man pish-poshed at her. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not as though your sister hasn’t already eaten over half the food in the kitchens already.”

Karumi grinned sheepishly at that. She had gotten them in trouble.

The Gambler King noticed the Natsuma’s concern, a poker face she didn’t have. “Now, now. Don’t worry about it. I’m going to take care of the bill.”

Natsuma smiled warily. The man was leading up to something. “As I said, we have no money. There’s no way we can pay you.”

“Not in cash perhaps, but there are other ways.”

Natsumi tried to casually allow her hand to drift to her rug-beater. If this guy even thought of using them in some dishonorable way, he had another thing coming. 

The woman seated at the table spoke up. “If you move that hand even another inch, I’ll break it off.” The woman made no move, but Natsuma got the impression she wouldn’t need the extra time to make good on the threat. 

“Ace,” The Gambler King soothed. “They’re just children. You should be more friendly. She’s just concerned about her sister and herself. It’s a healthy attitude to have. We are strangers to them and are behaving rather oddly. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Gambler King. And this is my current,” he made some odd hand gestures as he attempted to describe the connection he had with the large woman. “associate. Ace.”

Ace continued to scowl.

The Gambler King continued over the tension that was starting to build. “Well then. You are probably wondering why I’m helping you out by covering the bill and paying for all the people who’s dinners were disturbed. It just so happens I am here to bet on the fights. So far I have an impressive win percentage and I would like to keep that up. Your sister informs me the two of you are martial artists. She thinks, and I believe she is being modest when she says this, that the two of you are very good.”

Karumi looked up from the meal and smiled towards the man. Natsuma winced as he smiled back. Her sister trusted people far too readily and gotten them involved in something that was probably over their heads. 

“My sister overestimates us.” Natsuma tried to back out of the situation. No good would come of helping this guy out with whatever it was he wanted.

“For your sake, she better not be,” Ace warned. Natsuma was once again disturbed by the woman. She felt very dangerous. People that could project that feeling were rare, and this woman felt more dangerous than anyone Natsuma had ever met.

“I’m a bit more optimistic. At any rate here is what I would like you to do to repay me for my generosity. I would like you to enter and win one of the fights.” The Gambler King explained. “I will bet heavily on you. That way I will make a lot of money, enough for what I’ve spent on covering your sister’s bill.”

“And if we refuse?” Natsuma had considered entering anyway, but she wanted to know what the stakes were.

“You can pay me,” he said. “but since you don’t have any money, I would have to let the two of you be thrown to the mercy of those individuals who feel wronged at your sisters hands.” 

It was then that Natsuma noticed the icy glares directed at her sister. She must have grabbed food from a lot of the wrong people’s plates. 

“But I’m certain you are honorable and wish to help me.” He gave a smile that caused immediate revulsion in Natsuma. She knew the man was slime, and that there was one important detail he left out.

“What happens of we lose?”

The King continued smiling. Natsuma had grown to loathe that smile in the few moments she met the man. 

“Your sister has told me a great deal about you. It seems your father is a martial artist, and once you are good enough he will allow you to carry on the title of your school of martial arts. Now I have little doubt that I would enjoy having the rights to that name and whatever,” he paused, “properties that might entail. That sort of thing.”

Natsuma could scarcely believe it. He was talking about her family name. He wanted to take something from them as soon as they received it. her instincts cried out for her to refuse, but she had no bargaining posture. Damn it! 

“Isn’t there something else you might want?”

The King shook his head. “No. That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.”

Karumi had finally finished and looked at her sister meekly. Natsuma wanted to maintain her anger, but could not. Karumi was all she had, and Natsuma was all she had. Natsuma realized she would have given in to help her sister anyway. They just could not afford to lose.

“I agree.” Natsuma felt like she had just sold her soul to the devil. 

“Excellent. I’ll make the arrangements.” The Gambler King walked off. Natsuma did not feel like eating all of a sudden. The next match was announced.

“THE NEXT FIGHTER IS A YOUNG LION FROM THE HEART OF JAPAN. HE IS A STREET FIGHTER BY THE NAME OF RYU!!!”

The crowd cheered for the overwhelming hometown favorite. The white gi clad red headbanded Ryu looked them over and smiled, playing up to the crowd. He had already seen the name of his opponent. It was some American supervillain named the Penguin. It was a bit of a mystery as to why the man was favored ten to one against him. Maybe it was a misprint.

“AND HIS OPPONENT. HAILING FROM ANTARCTICA. HIS FIGHTING STYLE IS UNKNOWN. PLEASE WELCOME A,” The man’s voice died down as he saw the opponent waddle in. “Penguin,” he quietly finished.

Ryu looked on in shock as did most of the crowd. Before him stood a normal sized penguin. Not a human dressed to look like a penguin. Not a mutated huge penguin. But an average looking, normal, Antarctic waterfowl.

“FIGHT!!!” 

Ryu turned towards the judges bench. “What is this? Some kind of stupid joke?”

A look of terror alighted on one of the judges as he shot up out of his chair. “FOR GOD’S SAKE MAN! DON’T TURN YOUR BACK TO HIM!!!”

Too late, Ryu felt the penguin impact into his back. And then pain.

Akane covered her eyes in horror as the massacre began. Even Tarou flinched at the sight of what the penguin was doing to his opponent. It was just not natural.

“AND THE WINNER OF THE MATCH IN ONE MINUTE BY,” The speaker paused to control himself, Ryu was a real mess. “ TOTAL ANNIHILATION, A PENGUIN!!!”

The crowd was still in shock at the events. Akane uncovered her eyes to see the mess that awaited. “Do you think he’s alive?”

Tarou nodded, “Yes. But I don’t think he’ll ever be able to sit correctly again. Akane remember how I said be totally ruthless?”

“Un-huh.”

“Don’t be that ruthless,” Tarou warned.

The penguin waddled over to the announcer, who bent over and listened to what the waterfowl had to say. “The penguin wishes to know if anyone has seen a girl in a leotard riding a pet panda.”

Tarou remained silent. Even Kodachi and Mousse did not deserve that to happen to them. 

With no responses the penguin waddled out the arena and the building, letting everyone sigh in relief.

“Let’s go.” And Tarou led Akane to the changing rooms.

Akane got ready for her match. She had never been this nervous in a long time. Now here she was, fighting against someone she had never even met, for no other purpose than to beat her up. She had never done that before. Usually she beat up people for real reasons, like Ranma screwing up, or the boys at school trying to take her out on a date by beating her up. But this was different. She was looking for a fight and she was going to get it. It was more than a little scary. If only Ranma had been there to help.

As she made her way to the arena she thought about Tarou, who was trying to give emotional support to her beforehand. He kept reminding her to go all out in her fight, holding nothing back. “Use everything I taught you,” he said, but Akane still had reservations. In the past, Ranma was always there to watch her, but now she was on her own. Well, Tarou was there, but it was different. He was different. This place was different. It had the air of being dangerous. Violent. Dark. Brutal. Something totally unlike what she was used to.

“THE NEXT FIGHTER ALSO HAILS FROM JAPAN. SHE IS A PRACTITIONER OF THE ANYTHING GOES SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS. AKANE TENDO!!!”

Natsuma stood bolt upright from the seat she had. It could not be. It just could not be.

As soon as Akane hit the floor the crowd started to cheer. A rush of adrenaline hit her all at once. The crowd was excited at the thrill of seeing blood, and it showed. There was never anything to compare to this experience. She had never officially entered any tournaments and the fights she had at school didn’t really count, but the feeling of being cheered on by so many people was a bit intoxicating. 

Once, when Shampoo had first arrived in Japan, back when she and Akane still talked with one another, the Amazon had explained what it was like fighting in the tournaments back home. There was no mistaking the look in her eyes as she remembered the past. Akane told her she could not understand how one could get so excited for a fight. Shampoo said her Japanese was not good enough to explain what she felt. Akane now realized words would never be able to describe what she was feeling now. There was no way to verbally express the rush she felt. 

Akane mentally prepared herself once again. She knew the name of her opponent. Someone named Sakura Shinobu.

Just as the announcer was about to call out the second fighter a person from in back ran to the podium he was at. Words were quietly exchanged between the two and the second man broke away. The announcer spoke up once again. “Ladies and Gentlemen! There has been an unexpected complication. Sakura Shinobu will not be able to participate in today’s competition. Instead, a new challenger will be picked from a random lot and new bets can be placed.” 

A third man handed him a piece of paper. “THE NEXT CONTENDER IS FROM LOTS OF DIFFERENT PLACES. SHE ALSO PRACTICES ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL ARTS! HER NAME IS KARUMI TENDO! LOOKS LIKE THIS ONE IS GOING TO STAY IN THE FAMILY FOLKS!!!”

Akane looked bewilderedly at the girl standing across the arena floor at her. She claimed to be a Tendo and practice Anything Goes Martial Arts? She looked at the smaller girl more closely. Akane had never seen the girl before, she was certain. 

Karumi stared at the girl across the way from her. Akane Tendo? Anything Goes Martial Arts? She had to know.

“Is your father Soun Tendo?” Karumi was afraid of the answer.

“Yes,” Akane answered. “why do you ask?”

Tears formed in Karumi’s eyes. “SISTER!” she cried out and ran towards Akane.

“HEY WAIT!!!” The announcer shouted. “Oh, never mind. FIGHT!!!”

Tarou watched Akane closely. She had not made neither an offensive or defensive move. She was just standing there like a deer caught in headlights as her opponent ran right towards her. “AKANE! Snap out of it! She’s setting you up! It’s a trick!”

Akane had been in shock since the announcement. A sister that she knew nothing about? It just did not seem possible. Then she heard Tarou’s shout and her mind began processing the information. It was a trap. Of course! The girl was distracting her with some sort of nonsense to get her to drop her guard. Akane was shocked to discover that a part of her could almost admire the tactic. It nearly worked. She jumped back before the approaching girl. Karumi was almost on top of her before Akane jumped out of the way. That was too close. 

Karumi couldn’t understand why her newfound sister leaped out of the way. They had just found one another, it should be a time of joy. “What’s wrong?” She asked Akane.

Akane kept up a guard as she answered the girl. “Nice try. I almost fell for it. Now fight!”  
she went in for an attack, but this time Karumi got out of the way. 

“It’s not a trick. I really am your sister. I have a picture and note from our father.” 

She went into her gi to bring out the picture she had. Akane mistook it to mean she was drawing some sort of weapon and went in for an attack. Karumi barely got her hand out in time and was put on the defensive immediately. Just as Akane was about to connect with a punch she felt, rather than saw, an attack come from the stands. She barely got out of the way of a blast of cold air that cut between her and her opponent. It did not take long to figure out who the attack had come from. Natsuma jumped onto the arena floor and landed next to Karumi.

Tarou saw the two on one develop and leaped into the arena floor next to Akane. “I’m with you,” he told her.

Chancer stood up and announced the new odds. Even money between the impromptu doubles match. Family feuds were so good for wagering. No one would keep from placing a few extra bets. 

Natsuma spoke up. “What she says is the truth, Akane Tendo. We are your sisters. I only wish we could have met under more pleasant circumstances. As it is,” Natsuma drew her rug-beater and pointed it at the newly formed team. “I’m afraid we find ourselves at odds with one another.”

Karumi grabbed Natsuma’s arm. “What are you talking about? She’s our sister.” 

Natsuma sadly shook her head. “Remember our promise. We have to win, or else there’s no point in ever going back to father. Not if it means yielding what he would give to us.” 

Karumi nodded her head with reluctance. She understood.

Tarou just chuckled at the duo. “Come on. The ‘I’m family’ routine has been around forever. We aren’t going to hold back because of some stupid story the two of you made up.”

Akane agreed. The sisters were too old for her father to have sired them after her mother’s death, and the idea that he had cheated on her was angering Akane further. How low those two were. 

“It’s the truth. We can prove it after the fight. But now we fight.” Natsuma unleashed a swirl of cold air at Tarou. Who leaped out of the way, but not before the attack clipped him in his calf, drawing blood. And his anger.

“Oh. You’re going to bleed for that one,” he threatened as the two properly squared off.

Karumi was not happy about attacking her newfound sister, but Natsuma was correct, she had little choice. She undid her hair ribbon and twirled it at her ‘sibling’. Akane made the mistake of letting it strike her arm, where it coiled around the arm and hurled Akane away. The ribbon released itself as Akane got up. Feeling the burn marks from where the ribbon made contact. 

Akane went for a different tactic and moved in for hand to hand, where her superior strength would come into play. Karumi was forced to back off and use the hot chi ribbon attack once again, striking Akane in a number of spots, each leaving a large red welt where the ribbon struck. 

Tarou was faring only lightly better. Natsuma was effectively staying as far away as she could while unleashing some of her cold wind attacks, occasionally nicking him here and there. Tarou silently promised he would make her eat that rug-beater of hers.

Natsuma came to an unpleasant conclusion. Separate her and Karumi were going to lose. The fact that her new sister was so good in the martial arts was an unpleasant surprise. But since she got to train with their father, it only made sense she was good. There was one, final attack she and Karumi could use to eliminate their opponents. 

“Karumi! Now!” 

Karumi understood and leaped next to her sister. Akane and Tarou were close enough together the attack would catch both of them. and with that they unleashed the simultaneous ribbon and wind shear attacks. The hot and cold chi from the Ryuu-karin-fun would finish off their opponents.

“Damn!” simultaneously broke out from Akane and Tarou as they saw the approaching attack. Having no time to do anything else, Tarou turned to Akane. “Brace for it!”

Akane only had a moment to realize he was not going to try to protect her like Ranma would, but let her stand on her own two feet. Mixed feelings went through her as she braced for the combination attack. 

It hurt.

The duo went flying halfway across the arena floor, their bodies impacting hard into the sandy surface. Neither moved. 

The announcer tool a swig from his bottle as he watched for any movement. After a couple of moments, he came to a decision. 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH DUE TO KO ARE…”

Tarou and Akane slowly regained their feet. Each of them looked like they were flambed, then flash frozen. They looked tired. They look beat.

And they looked REALLY pissed. 

Both of them stared at the girls standing across from them, neither bothering to look at one other as they spoke.

“You okay?” Tarou asked.

“Yep,” Akane answered.

“Think that was their best shot?”

“Yep.”

“Think they’re in trouble now?”

“Yep. I got an idea,” Akane said. “Give me one of your bracers.”

Tarou was a little surprised by the request. His dragonscale adornments were his pride and joy. It would be a matter of trust to give Akane even one of them. He did not really trust anyone. 

Until now. 

He gave her the bracer and watched her place it on her arm. A smile rose to his face as he examined it. It fit well and actually looked good on her. 

“Don’t worry about that attack,” Akane explained. “You just take out the one with the rug-beater.”

Tarou considered her actions. He despised it when people tried to give him orders, and he certainly never obeyed them. How had that man he met last month put it? He did not play well with others. A perfect description. But, surprisingly, he found himself doing as she asked. He did not even feel bad about it. Would wonders never cease?

Natsuma looked in surprise at the duo. They had just withstood her and Karumi’s most powerful attack and were getting up for more. “Karumi, use it again!”

Karumi looked uncertain. “It didn’t work the first time.”

Natsuma shook her head. “It did hurt them. One more time will finish them off.” Natsumi concentrated on unleashing the attack as Akane and Tarou rushed forward.

Karumi began twirling her ribbon in huge circles once more and sent the red fabric onward. Just as the rings started to surround Akane she stuck her arm with the bracer. It worked just as she thought it would. The circular pattern was broken as the ribbon looped around her forearm, while the heat generated by it was blocked by the bracer on her arm. 

“Natsuma!” Karumi cried out. The attack would not work if the pattern was broken. 

Natsuma was one step ahead and was defending herself against the incoming Tarou. 

Akane smiled at thwarting the attack. Her happiness was short lived as she discovered she forgot one very important detail about ribbons.

They have two ends.

Karumi brought the other end of the ribbon forward and snared Akane’s neck, causing hot chi to ride down up it and into Akane. Tears started to form in Akane’s eyes as the pain caused her knees to buckle. 

Karumi felt a bit of regret at causing Akane so much pain, but the stakes were too high to hold back. She carefully increased the amount of hot chi along the ribbon and silently prayed Akane would pass out soon. The reaction that occurred was the opposite of what she had hoped for. Instead of collapsing, Akane charged forward through the pain, the look of anger in her eyes giving Karumi pause. That was all she needed. Akane closed the distance and connected with a blow to Karumi’s head. Karumi loosened her grip on the ribbon, allowing Akane to unload the Amaguriken into the girl’s stomach. She finished off the smaller girl by simply picking her up and slamming her into the ground. Karumi bounced once, then ceased moving altogether, either from inertia or her own power.

Natsuma saw what had happened and cried out, turning to help her sister. Tarou was not one to pass up an advantage like that.

“You turn in a fight with me? That’s a mistake!” And with that he connected with a savage blow to the jaw. Natsuma fell to the ground and lay still, crumpled by the blow.

“AND THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH BY DOUBLE K.O. IN SEVEN MINUTES AND THIRTY THREE SECONDS. AKANE TENDO AND…” The announcer looked at Tarou.

“What’s your name?”

“Mind your own business!” Tarou waved his fist at the man.

“AND THE MAN WITH NO NAME!!!” the announcer finished.

Akane calmed down enough to notice the crowd cheering her for the exciting fight (At least the members that bet on her, which were most of the people.) Chants of “Tendo, Tendo, Tendo,” were shouted throughout the stands. Akane felt a rush from the adulation as she rubbed the burn spots on her throat. They were crying out her name. Not Ranma’s. Not Shampoo’s. Hers. She was the important one. She was being shown the respect she deserved for her abilities as a martial artist, by an arena full of strangers no less. She gave a broad smile and bowed before the crowd. She did not even notice Tarou standing off to one side, smiling at her reaction. Tonight worked out better than he hoped. 

Tarou and Akane left the arena with a silence between them. Akane was the first one to break them. 

“Did I pass my test?” As though she did not already know the answer.

“With flying colors.”

Akane took off the bracer. “Thanks for loaning that to me. It really saved the day.”

Tarou looked the item over and came to a decision. “You keep it. It looks good on you.”

“No way!” Akane shook her head to help emphasize her answer. “You told me they’re the only ones you have.”

“And I want you to have it. If I’m generous to offer something, you should be gracious enough to accept it.”

Akane’s resistance broke down. “Thanks.” She placed it back on her arm. 

Tarou stopped rather suddenly, causing Akane to halt as well. 

“What is it?” she asked.

“Did you have a good time tonight?”

Akane laughed at that. “You took me to some weird warehouse in the middle of nowhere so I could pit fight, and your asking me if I had a good time?”

Tarou was not sure what to make of the reaction. It sounded like an ideal date to him.

She answered the question for him. “Yes. I did. Figure that one out.” It did mystify Akane as to why she would have a good time. Maybe because it was so forbidden. Her father, Kasumi, even Ranma would have thrown a fit if they knew where she had been. It was such a roller coaster ride of excitement. Everyone cheering for her. Winning the fight. It was all such a rush. And she had Tarou to thank for it. 

“Glad to hear it.” Tarou was all smiles now. “How about we end this evening just right?”

“What do you mean?” Akane could immediately tell something had changed in Tarou’s attitude. 

“You know what I mean.” He put his arms around her and leaned forward to give a kiss. The forward motion was suddenly arrested painfully as Akane grabbed one of his hoop earrings and pulled back on it. His head followed the new direction as he released her. 

“Just what do you think you’re doing?!” Akane was not pleased by Tarou’s sudden attitude change. He was acting like Kunou.

Tarou just stood there looking dumbfounded. “Kissing you of course!”

Akane was dumbfounded. Tarou wanted to kiss HER? “What are you talking about? Why are you trying to…errr, you know?”

“Well, it’s what you’re supposed to do on a date.”

Akane was taken aback again. The night was proving itself just full of surprises. “You call taking someone pit fighting a date?” He was more unromantic than Ranma.

“I call going out and having a good time a date, And you said you had one.”

Akane had a little difficulty arguing with that one. “I already have a fiancee. I told you that. I’m sorry if I led you on or something, but we can’t date.”

Tarou looked a little angry now. “Oh come on! You said you don’t even want to marry Ranma. And I met you going out the other night with some other guy.”

Akane was getting backed into a corner. “I only went out with Kunou because I owed him a favor. And as to the engagement,” she began becoming less confident now. “it’s a family thing. So I can’t exactly break it off.” Akane was more than a little irritated to hear Tarou scoff.

“Like anyone can make you do something you don’t want to do. Face facts girl, the guy dumped you.”

“He did not! He’s just busy trying to find something,” She did not know where he was.

Tarou was becoming annoyed. She should be glad he was here to take her away from the hermaphrodite. “Yes he did. Though why Fem-boy would run away from someone as beautiful as…”

“What?” Akane cut him off. “What did you call Ranma?”

“I called him Fem-boy.” While Tarou’s danger sense was not on par with Ranma’s, what was there went into overdrive.

“I never told you he was cursed.”

Uh Oh! He was in for it now. If she hadn’t gotten him so worked up he would never have made such a glaring error. He tried to salvage an answer. “You told me. How else would I know?”

“I didn’t tell you,” Akane remained adamant. “I never tell anyone that doesn’t already know. Tell me the truth!”

“Well, maybe I ran into him, once. But not much happened.”

Akane wasn’t buying it. “I swear by the kami, I will walk away right now unless you tell me exactly what happened!”

What to tell her, what to tell? He sure couldn’t tell her the whole truth. Somehow, “I want to beat the shit out of your fiancee because I hate his guts” was not going to go over too well. But it had to be a believable lie. Possibly something that would gain him sympathy.

“I got tricked by a little old lady into doing it. You see, I have a terrible burden and I need help to overcome it. So I made a deal with her that we would help each other. Part of that deal was to grab an Amazon named Shampoo for her.”

He gauged Akane’s reaction. She was nodding in understanding, obviously listening with a sympathetic ear. His plan was working.

“Well, you can imagine my surprise when I discovered that the girl I was trying to grab was actually a guy. Then, while my guard was down, and I was trying to come up with an apology, the son of a bitch hit me and I landed on those train tracks. If it wasn’t for you I’d be dead.” A near death experience was the way to go. No one would fault him for nearly being killed.

Akane looked sympathetically at Tarou. “That’s Ranma all right. He never listens to explanations and goes in hitting. I’m just glad I was there to save you. So it was all a misunderstanding?”

He hesitated to mention this, but Ranma might spill his guts about it if he showed up. “There was a second time we got into a fight, but it was related to the first so it doesn’t really count. And I don’t appreciate what he did to me, and he is your fiancee, so that’s two marks against him.”

Akane started to glare. “Why didn’t you say something when you found out he was my fiancee?”

“I didn’t believe you’d think too fondly of me for beating up your fiancee.”

“Well, I guess I understand.” Akane thought she did anyway.

“Everything’s over. I’m not going to help that little old hag anymore.” The truth was Cologne had called everything off about capturing Shampoo altogether, but Tarou was going to hold her to her word about helping him nail Happosai. And he was still going to beat up the purple haired Amazon when he got the chance. 

Akane breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you told me the truth. If you had lied to me I’d have been out of here.” 

Surprisingly, Tarou felt a twinge of guilt from the statement. He quickly suppressed it though. 

“Why don’t I help you with your problem? After all, you’ve helped me so much it’s the least I can do.” Akane was convinced she could solve whatever problems Tarou had. They worked well together.

Tarou nearly recoiled in horror. If she tried to help capture Happosai his secret would be blown, and she would mock him the rest of his life. No way could he allow that to happen. “It’s something I must deal with myself. My, errr…time spent with the old hag taught me that.” The hurt expression she gave him did nothing to make him feel any better, but it was for the best. “Now about that kiss…”

“Tarou, stop it!” Akane backed off from him once again. “I told you I can’t do that.” 

Now he had two ways to go with this. He could continue to come on strong, or he could back off and try charm. What mattered was how Akane would react. Trying to figure out how women’s minds work was awful frustrating. 

“Very well. I’ll respect your wishes, for now.” Charm was the way to go. Charming and confident. “But I can see you are attracted to me.”

“I am not!” She was beginning to wonder if he was more arrogant than Ranma. Scratch that, he was, but for some reason it was not exactly as irritating as it could have been, like on Kunou or someone else.

“Then why are you blushing?”

Akane felt heat rise to her face. How could he tell she was blushing in the relative darkness of the docks? “I…I’m not.” Now why did she stutter too?

The stutter was all it took to convince Tarou. The seeds had been planted. Now all he needed to do was wait for them to take root. And then he could plow the furrow. He gave a little chuckle to himself at that particular metaphor. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t press you. You want to take it slow, that’s fine with me. You’ll see the truth soon enough.”

Akane shook her head. This was going too far and he was really starting to irritate her. Now that she thought about it, there was one other thing she was curious about in Tarou. She was in luck as she noticed the puddle next to Tarou. Humming a little tune, she made her way over to the puddle, then splashed it on him.

Tarou looked down at Akane, confused. He thought she was walking over because she changed her mind. Instead, she turned him into his cursed form. 

“Whoa!” Akane gaped at the minotaur-like creature before her. “You sure do look different.”

Tarou shrugged. It made sense that she would want to see him in his cursed form. Who knew, maybe she had a thing for bulls? At the very least he would certainly get her home on time. He picked up the surprised Akane and took off. 

His passenger’s first moments of panic at suddenly finding herself suspended over Tokyo faded to a more relaxed state. Akane took pause to admire the night lights of Tokyo. It was a majestic sight to behold. As the brisk night air flowed through her locks, she told herself she was not interested in Tarou, but it was certainly nice of him to treat her to this view. She found herself involuntarily comparing him to Ranma. There were so many differences between the two, yet so many similarities as well. It was nice to have a good friend. 

Kasumi smiled as Akane and Tarou-bull dropped down in the backyard. “Welcome back Akane.” She turned to Akane’s guest. “Hello Mr. Yeti-Bull-Snake-Crane. Would you like some tea?”

Tarou-bull nodded his head as Akane explained about the curse to her sister. She returned to the backyard where she handed the tea to Tarou. He simply dumped it over his head, bade Akane farewell, and left the dojo. 

Akane went to bed and had begun to feel relaxed when she remembered Ranma. She felt guilty about the good time she had when she had no idea where he was. Joy was replaced by concern as she looked out her window and gave a prayer for Ranma’s safe return.

Ukyou twirled the French pastry around as she watched Ai and Tsubasa, the latter dressed in normal girl’s clothes, sit at one of the tables and fix each other’s bruises and cuts. The two of them actually worked together to rescue her from Crepe Suzette and her mentor, the armored monstrosity called the Iron Chef. If it had not been for Ai and Tsubasa, she was not certain what would have happened. Poor Suzette, she seemed more misguided than evil, and she had turned on the Chef in the end. If only she had not been so irritated at Ukyou for revealing herself as a girl. Still, another female suitor was the last thing she needed. The pastry read “I shall have my revenge.” This was all she needed. A collection of foes as unwanted as Ranma’s. 

She reevaluated what her feelings were about her two rescuers. If they were working together it would only mean trouble for her, and trouble was the last thing she needed. Part of her was concerned as well. Her feelings about Tsubasa were pretty much the same, but she was starting to dislike Ai less. Not that she was attracted to her, but if she did not hate her, then there was some small chance that something might happen at some point in the future. Not the sort of thing she wanted to think about. Further thoughts were interrupted by a large man that entered Uk-Chan’s. 

Ukyou got up to confront the man. “We’re closed. You can come back tomo…” She drifted off as she recognized the man that had entered the restaurant.

The large man with long beard and graying hair looked fiercely at Ukyou. “How’s it going, honey.”

Ukyou leaped up and embraced her father. “Oh it’s been so long. I’ve missed you. But what are you doing here?”

Her father returned the embrace. “You look great. I got your letter just last week and came immediately. Now, you mentioned you have a special friend you wanted me to meet. Where is he?”

Ai and Tsubasa got up from their table and approached the man suspiciously. 

“Ukyou, darling, who is this man?” Ai asked. Tsubasa looked on with concern as well. 

Ukyou’s father began shaking his head. “I see. Ukyou, I realize that when I raised you all by myself you might grow up somewhat different from the other girls your age.”

“Daddy,” Ukyou began.

“Hear me out! After that terrible Saotome incident that I was responsible for, I vowed not to interfere in your upbringing anymore.”

“Dad,” Ukyou increased the tone in her warning. 

“Let it be known that I, Tatsumi Kuonji, am a man of the times. I want you to know that no matter what lifestyle you choose, I will love you no matter what.”

“Dad! It’s not like…” This time Ukyou was cut off by Ai.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you sir.” She grabbed Tatsumi’s hand and pumped it furiously. “I see where Ukyou gets her good looks.”

The big man surprised Ukyou by blushing. “Why thank you Miss. What’s your name?”

Ai introduced herself. Tsubasa, not to be outdone, also gave his name. 

Tatsumi turned to his daughter. “What an incredible young woman you’ve become! You have two beautiful, caring, young women in love with you. I’m envious! I never had the women chase after me like this.”

“Actually, I’m a man sir,” Tsubasa explained.

Tatsumi considered this. “Ukyou. I try to keep an open mind, but I’m not sure I can approve of a relationship with a transvestite.”

Tsubasa gave a little chuckle. “I’m no transvestite sir, just a cross dresser.”

“Oh! Well that’s different.” Tatsumi paused to consider that. “Maybe grandchildren are a possibility after all.”

Ukyou just watched in horror as her father asked about the duo’s relationship with Ukyou, what they were like, and small talk in general. Ukyou left the building without anyone noticing her absence. The situation was going from bad to worse. She looked to the stars. Ryouga might be looking at them even now. 

“Wherever you are Ryouga, be careful.”

The two gymnasts looked on at Kodachi in dismay. Their captain was obviously not up to her normal everyday standards, and had not been for some time. 

“Hey, Haruka!” The first girl asked her partner. “What is it about the captain that seems out of place to you?”

Haruka thought about it. “Well, she treats us a lot nicer, hasn’t ambushed anyone, and generally goes around depressed. What seems out of place to you?”

The first girl looked on with sadness. “She hasn’t given that insane laugh of hers in a week. For the first time in my life I’m hoping to hear it at least once. It just seems too disturbing for her not to be laughing.”

Haruka could do nothing but agree. A silent Black Rose was just too bizarre to take.

Epilogue  
China:   
Two days after Ranma’s abduction

Leung listened to the rain hammer the sides of his general store with a fury he had not seen in years. There would be no business tonight. Even indecent folk would not be out on a night like this. Every time he tried talking about it with his son, the twenty year old Sheng would make certain he was not paying attention to his father. Leung cursed the arrogance of youth today. In his day he would have had his ears boxed for carrying around that kind of attitude. 

“” Leung muttered under his breath. 

The door burst open as a figure huddled under a thick cloak rushed inside. 

“” Sheng told his father. 

Leung watched as the figure removed his hood. No devil was he. It was a young looking man, no more than sixteen and with a long black ponytail, who examined the two men in the store. 

“ _” the youth warned. “ _”__

__Leung and Sheng looked at one another. A crackpot._ _

__Leung scowled at the youth. “”_ _

__“” the youth warned. “ _”__ _

___Sheng picked up on his father’s demeanor. Leung hated it when people tried to bully him or tell him his business, or when they tried to get him to stop drinking when he was on a roll._ _ _

___ _

___“” the youth said in a quiet, even tone. “”_ _ _

___Leung had enough. No one bullied him in his own place of business. This would not be the first time he had to deal with a troublemaker. The boy was going to end up very hurt for getting Leung’s hopes up like that._ _ _

___“” Leung noticed his son had already gone for the sword near one of the counters. Sheng was the strongest boy of the town at six foot and three hundred pounds of solid muscle. How unfortunate he did little other than bully others around. At least he was good at it._ _ _

___“” This was what Sheng lived for. He loved to feel his power over others. And power he had. There was not anyone in the small town that did not fear him, and that was what it was all about. The violence itself was not what he liked, though he would use it without hesitation. It was the fear others demonstrated that excited him. There was no feeling like it in the world when he saw them quake in terror. He always wanted to watch the eyes. The body moved in certain ways when one was afraid, but the eyes were the mirrors to the soul, and that was what he wanted to see. Which was why he was so angry when he saw nothing even resembling fear in the youth’s eyes. The only thing that was there was contempt. THAT was intolerable. Sheng would teach him fear. He brought his sword up and was going to bring it down on the youth. He wouldn’t kill him. There would be only a moment’s fear that way. He would wound him, then he would fear Sheng for a lifetime._ _ _

___The youth casually grabbed Sheng’s arm as the blow came down to strike the wet stranger. The boy twisted the appendage, snapping the ulna and the radius in one smooth motion. Sheng did not have time to scream as his face was forced into a wall. Both face and wall ended up broken._ _ _

___“” Leung grabbed a nearby sickle and rushed over to kill the stranger. He never got to do more than draw his arm back as the youth lashed out with his foot, shattering Leung’s jaw. Leung would go on to look at the bright side of the injury. His jaw would not heal well enough to eat solid foods for two months, meaning he would get a chance to lose that fifteen pounds he always wanted to._ _ _

___Shampoo-kun drew back Leung’s head and stared him in the eye. “” he hissed. “”_ _ _

___Shampoo-kun allowed the man’s head to drop back on the floor. He had many things to grab that night, and miles to go before he slept. There was one detour he had to make before heading for the fortress of the Musk. It would take him dangerously close to his one time home, but he needed the ace in the hole. There was no risk too great for Ranma safety._ _ _

___ _

___ _

___Side note: The story of Crepe Suzette and the Iron Chef will be told much later in an OAV. It would just clutter the story at this point._ _ _

___Special Thanks to  
Ryan Anderson  
Harold Ancell  
Dr. Wade Tritschler  
Kevin R. Wible_ _ _


	19. Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shampoo arrives to rescue Ranma and the others from the Musk.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 19

Showdown

Any C+C greatly appreciated  
Azatlan has provided a home for Shampoo 1/2 at

or you can email me for previous chapters or anything else at sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of these characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

An alternate universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= Female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and accidentally became engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. After many months of battles and other chaotic situations too numerous to mention here (i.e. Read the earlier chapters for full details) Ranma and company thought they discovered a cure for their curses. It turned out that the magic kettle they sought could not cure their curses, and Ranma, Mousse (who turns into a panda) and Ryouga (who turns into a bat with a direction sense) were captured by Herb of the Musk Dynasty then locked into their cursed forms. Herb kidnapped the trio and took them to China. Shampoo discovered their destination and followed in hot pursuit, alone.

Notes: Denotes Chinese  
** Panda "sign" language  
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Raise the arm.

Grasp at the handhold.

Pull. Make certain it can hold the weight.

Find a foothold.

Put pressure on it. Make certain it can hold the weight.

Pull yourself up.

Raise the arm.

Grasp at the handhold.

Pull. Make certain it can hold the weight.

Find a foothold

Put pressure on it. Make certain it can hold the weight.

Pull yourself up.

A simple mantra repeated a thousand times. Something had to be done to maintain his focus. It was not always as easy as it sounded though. If there were no handholds or foothold to find, Shampoo-kun had to use some of the climbing equipment to scale the cliffs. It went on like that for hours. It had been a dream to scale this mountain. To relax and enjoy the brisk, challenging climb it represented.

It was the typical, stupid crap he would come up with.

Scaling it was closer to a nightmare than a dream. Maybe he could have enjoyed it if Ranma's life hadn't been on the line. Maybe if he hadn't been on the verge of exhaustion he could have enjoyed it. Maybe if he hadn't sprained his shoulder in the first thousand feet he could have enjoyed it. A thousand maybes that didn't do him any good. He was stuck where he was, climbing for all he was worth, praying he could make it to the top of the mountain without plummeting to his death, but that was beginning to look doubtful .

Raise the arm.

Shampoo-kun would have been finished if he hadn't made that almost fatal mistake so early on. He used a piton and fastened some rope through a particularly tricky part. Only when he put all his weight on the rope, the piton gave way. It really had been too long since he went climbing. If he'd been in practice he would have realized that the rock he had hammered the spike in would not have held. So he dropped almost thirty feet before his arm, thankfully, caught onto an outcropping of rock. The sudden stop nearly dislocated the shoulder though, and it still hurt like hell, even now.

The first thing he checked after the unexpected freefall was the vial in his shirt. If it had broken, or even leaked, the climb would've been over and he would have plummeted to his death. Thankfully it was still intact. Shampoo-kun was off to a wonderful start, and there was still several thousand feet to climb. If only all life and death matters could be so much fun.

Grasp at the handhold.

So, after assessing the damage, he set off again. Every time he used that arm to haul himself up it would shoot out messages of intense pain. He ignored them as best he could, and when it couldn't be ignored anymore he would stop and rest. Not comfortably, but it was still rest. Then he would make himself go on. It was a snail's pace, but he continued onward, ever onward. For the first time since it happened he was grateful for the curse. His male body was more powerful than his female one, and added strength was what was needed to scale the cliff. He had to save Ranma. Failure meant pain. Pain far worse than anything that could possibly imagine. The pain of a sprained shoulder was nothing compared to the pain of failure.

Pull. Make certain it can hold the weight.

That was yesterday. His progress had been too slow and the hour late as night fell. When Shampoo-kun knew he could not go much farther he looked for a wide ledge, wide being relative to what was around. He needed it though. He absolutely had to find a large ledge and tie himself in. His body could not go on any more. When he first laid eyes upon the mountain he was convinced it could be scaled in a day. Now it looked like it was going to take two, at least. Why did he have to hurt his shoulder? It slowed him down too much. That was why it was taking this long. If his shoulder was fine he could have gone faster. Much faster. And he wouldn't have been so damn tired.

Find a foothold.

Ranma was running out of time. Shampoo-kun had to move rapidly, but rapidly was a good way to get killed. A frontal assault was looking more and more feasible than this insane plan he had come up with. It certainly would have been easier than what he was doing now. A frontal assault meant he would only have had to deal with a hundred or so soldiers instead of thousands of feet to climb.

No foothold. Damn!

He pulled out the hammer and piton. There were few left and they had to be conserved. Now that Shampoo-kun thought about it, this was the worst side to climb up. Maybe he should have started on another side, then moved over once at the top. A wonderful time to come up with that now that it was too late. Life really sucked sometimes.

He finished the task and managed to scale over the smooth surface he was at now. Once past that part, finding hand and foot holds would be much easier. Easier, not easy.

Raise the arm.

His mind went into neutral after that, all energy and concentration directed towards climbing. Higher and higher he moved as the air became cooler and thinned. He didn't even realize day had turned into night. It just suddenly was. The only reason it registered at all was because the pain had gotten to be too much once again. He had to get to the top soon. He was approaching the absolute limit on how much farther he could go. Ever since Japan he'd been on the move. First tracking down Ranma, then traveling to China, then rounding up all the things he needed to accomplish the rescue, then traveling to the fortress of the Musk Dynasty. Sleep was caught in fitful moments when the flesh was no longer willing to follow the course of the spirit. And the sleep was never enjoyed.

Find a handhold.

Every time Shampoo-kun fell asleep he had nightmares about Ranma being dead. And always upon the first moments of waking he was convinced they were genuine, that the dream was the reality. That was the worst part, the belief that he had failed and Ranma was dead. There was no way to describe the anguish he felt until he could recall that it was just a dream. Maybe he was losing his mind. That was a pleasant thought. "I'm crazy and risking my life trying to rescue someone." He would have given anything to hear Ranma's voice now, to reassure him he was not going insane. Sleep would be so nice. Just let go...

Reflexes took over as Shampoo-kun grabbed onto the ledge and held on for dear life. He had nearly released his grip on the rock. The drain had to be located soon, otherwise there would be no rescue since he would end up as nothing more than a splotch on the ground. No one would even be able to identify the body. A spectacular way to check out, but he wasn't ready to die yet. Just as he was about to give up hope his nose caught the scent. There was no mistaking what it could be. The smell of raw waste was somewhat unique.

It was the best smell in the world Shampoo-kun had ever caught wind of.

He had located the drain and now could gain entry into the fortress, just as he planned. It took him several moments to spot the hole in the dark, but spot it he did. A hole to salvation. All that was left was to get to it.

It was unquestionably the easiest part of the climb he had done. Energy he didn't think he possessed surged through limbs that previously could barely make another foot. He was able to hoist himself to the aperture within moments. As he pulled himself up, the powerful stench and junk along the lip of the open drain indicated it was in working order. A good sign. It meant there was still access to the inside the fortress. Shampoo-kun made his way into the drain, walking bent over for about twenty feet before finding a somewhat higher spot out of the muck (a nice word for the odious substance he was now in) and sat back, upright. There was no telling what he would contract if he lay down in the muck. As he sat back he assessed his condition. No part of his body was unaffected by the climb. Every muscle ached, even his tongue, though he had no idea why. He just had to rest a few moments. It had been such a long and arduous climb, and he needed to rest his eyes. Just for a little while. Ranma needed rescuing, but it would not do to have Shampoo-kun collapse in the middle of the rescue. No, it would no...

Shampoo looked down at Ranma's grave. There was nothing more than a plain, gray tombstone that adorned it. The headstone possessed none of the elegance it deserved. Such a simple monument to one so complex. Even the words on it were elementary:

Here lies Ranma Saotome.

It was then that Shampoo finally realized Akane was standing quietly next to her. Her black dress was nearly identical to the darkness that surrounded them. The hour must have been late for it to be so dark out, though she could make out clouds obscuring the moon. The two stood alone.

Shampoo examined Akane more closely. There was nothing but a mask of cold emotionlessness on her face, almost as though she were just as dead as Ranma.

"Akane, I sorry." Shampoo had no idea on how to express what she felt. It went beyond her inability to speak good Japanese. She would not have been able to do it in Chinese either. It was a feeling of total emptiness, as though there was nothing left in the world. Just a void.

Akane's reaction was blindingly fast. A shovel appeared in her hands, just like one of her mallets would have, and she connected it with Shampoo's head. Right before the metal made contact with Shampoo's skull, she saw the rage that was now upon Akane's face. She had never seen such animalistic hatred on another human being before. Never.

The first blow was only enough to stun, and knock Shampoo off her feet. Akane followed up by applying a second blow to the Amazon's head. This one managed to immobilize her as Shampoo's body fell flat upon the ground, leaving her head positioned so she could witness Akane's next action. What she saw scared the life out of her.

"You screwed up, Shampoo!" Akane shouted as she used the shovel to start digging next to Ranma's grave.

"You let Ranma die!" She scooped up another shovelful of earth as she continued to dig. The glaze in her eyes indicated sanity was no longer retained in the girl. Looking into those eyes, Shampoo suddenly understood what it meant to have one's blood freeze in their veins.

"You just had to play the hero, didn't you?! The great and mighty Amazon warrior that can do anything in the world!" Each accusation was punctuated by another shovelful of earth as the hole became deeper. "But you messed up! He's dead and it's your fault!"

Shampoo wanted to shout out "No!" at the top of her lungs, but all that came out was a weak mumble of protest.

Akane understood anyway. "Yes! You could have called for help! You could have bothered to think things through! You could have trained harder or moved faster! But you didn't! And now it's too late." She was standing in the hole now and digging from within. It was deep enough now that she was visible only from the waist up, and still she continued digging as the accusations flew.

"You say you loved him? You think he could love someone like you?" She spat out with contempt. "How, when you're nothing but a failure? You should have been there to protect him, but you ran off like a little, heartbroken schoolgirl! You ran, just like you did from your village when you got cursed! Amazon pride my ass! There's nothing proud about a weak, little girl like you!" Akane's face was now smudged with dirt, adding to her insane appearance as she kept yelling. "And then you couldn't catch up to him, so Herb carted him off and he died! There were a million things you could have done to prevent it, but you failed each and every time!" Thunder suddenly broke out from the skies, mirroring Akane's rage, yet no rain fell.

The hole was now deep enough that Akane's head was barely visible from Shampoo's position. Akane paused long enough to mop the sweat from her brow before she threw aside her shovel and heaved herself out of the hole. She then stalked over to Shampoo like some kind of bestial predator. The lightning highlighted the wild eyed appearance of the dirt covered, crazed maniac as Akane stared at Shampoo's prone body. With a small smile of satisfaction she bent over and grabbed the purple haired girl by the back of her shirt and began dragging her. It took but a moment for the Amazon to realize where she was being hauled. The attempt to resist was an exercise in futility as her muscles still refused to cooperate no matter how much she wanted them to. All she could do was whimper in protest.

Akane paused next to the empty hole as another crash of thunder came to Shampoo's ears. Almost as though it was some kind of signal from the gods, Akane once again continued her rant. "You love Ranma so much? Fine! YOU CAN BE BURIED NEXT HIM!"

And with that Akane threw Shampoo brutally into the hole. Pain shot through her arm as she landed roughly on it, then gravity finished the job as the Amazon landed on her back and gazed upwards at the cloudy, midnight sky. She had a view of Akane moving back and forth within sight of the opening of the hole. The youngest Tendo's pacing stopped as she finally picked up the shovel and scooped up some earth with it. Shampoo could only watch in paralyzed terror as the first shovel of dirt came crashing down upon her head. She tried crying, even begging for mercy, but her pleas fell on deaf ears. As her body continued accumulating an ever growing coating of earth, Shampoo heard Akane make one last condemnation.

"You wanted to rest? Well, here's your big chance. Rest in Peace. HAHAHAHA!"

Shampoo-kun sat up bolt upright, thumping his head on the top of the ceiling of the pipe. A nightmare. The worst one yet. No matter how tired he felt, he was not going to sleep until the matter with Ranma was resolved. One way or another.

He heaved himself to his feet and trudged through the offal that lined the bottom of the drain. The lord only knew exactly what coated the bottom of it. Fortunately, it was pitch black in the pipe, save for the minute shafts of light that came through tiny drains in the ceiling. At last the smaller holes gave way to a large metal grate in the top of the drain. Pried open, it would be large enough for Shampoo-kun to get through. He placed his ear next to the opening. Once he ascertained there was no one in the connecting hallway, he forced the grate open. There was a slight twinge in his shoulder, but not enough to cause any real problems. He silently wondered how long he had been out. There was no question that he was still close to exhaustion, but his body felt ten times better than what it had felt like before the horrible nightmare. If only his mind had felt so strong.

He left the climbing equipment behind. It would only serve to weigh him down, and it wasn't as though he would be leaving the way he had come in, even if he was physically able to. No, escape would come by a different route. Hopefully Shampoo-kun could come up with it soon. Still, there was something to be said for making things up as you went along.

He hadn't traveled the corridor for very long when the sound of metal-shod boots echoed down the passageway. Shampoo-kun set into motion instantly. He tried the two closest doors to him, but both were locked tight. True, he could certainly shatter the doors. He could knock down a wall if he had to, but the noise would serve to alert half the soldiers within the fortress to an intruder. No, there had to be some other way to get out of sight. There was nothing large enough in the corridor to hide behind, and judging by the sounds the hall was too long to race down and get out of sight before the men saw him. Dispatching the guards before they could raise an alarm might have been the only course left. The only real problem with that would be how long it would be before it was noticed the men were missing. Shampoo-kun did not need the added complication of a severely limited time table from which to work with.

That was when Shampoo-kun spotted an alternative. There was an alcove in the ceiling directly above him. If he leaped up, and spread out his arms and legs, he could probably brace himself and hide up there. The only way anyone could possibly see him was if they were directly under him and looked straight up. Since he wanted to maintain a low profile, he put his belt knife in his teeth and leaped up. If someone saw him it would take only a second to use the knife on the person below. By having it out and ready to go, it might make the difference between a warning cry and complete silence.

It didn't take long for the guards to walk under Shampoo-kun's position. Only two of them, working their way slowly up the hall. Two soldiers in the same style armor Shampoo-kun had seen so many years ago. Interesting that they hadn't changed the design. The duo had almost walked out from under Shampoo-kun's position when they abruptly stopped.

Perfect! Someone was going to end up dead. And if Shampoo-kun wasn't careful, it might end up being him.

One of the guards pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his belt and handed one to his partner. It appeared smoking really was going to kill the two of them if either one chanced to look up. The duo began to talk of irrelevant things. Women, fellow guards, how much Herb was paying them and if they were going to get a raise. Shampoo-kun would have liked to inform them they were never going to collect another paycheck again if they didn't get moving.

Shampoo-kun felt his arm began to shake uncontrollably. A muscle spasm indicating just how weak he really was. If the fools below him did not move within the next minute they were dead.

One of the guard started sniffing the air. "God! What is that smell?"

His partner sniffed also. "Must be one of the drains clogging or something. Happens all the time in this place. Once you're here as long as I have, you get used to all the idiosyncrasies of the fortress."

"Well let's get out of here! I don't want to have to smell crap all day. "

Both men continued along the hall, turning the corner at the end just as Shampoo-kun let himself down. That was far too close, and now he had to change his clothes. He was going to give himself away by scent if he didn't.

Shampoo-kun found some extra clothing, which fit somewhat loosely, in an unoccupied room, then changed and continued down the halls of the fortress. The shadows were his ally as he evaded roaming patrols of guards time and time again. It was not that they were observant, but there was so many of them. Too many of them in fact. There was at least four times the number of soldiers in the fortress than needed to be. The Amazon suddenly got a bad feeling about the whole situation. The only reason Herb would be paying so many mercenaries so much money was if he was planning something big. Like mobilizing an army and conquering something.

As much as Shampoo-kun was dying to know what was going on, it would have to wait. Ranma had to be rescued, then the knowledge he had gathered could be put to good use. Alerting his tribe might be in order. However much was still unknown, one thing could be for certain: Herb was up to no good.

Shampoo-kun was quickly becoming frustrated. He had to hide in shadows so often there was seemingly no time for movement. Ranma and the others had to be found. As Shampoo-kun walked through a large room with several stone columns, a man approached from a doorway at the far side, not more than ten feet away. Shampoo-kun had no time to take cover before the man would spot him. A decision was made in an instant: best to take him out as he stepped into the light of the room. Shampoo-kun allowed a smile to purse his lips, as the man entered dark haired boy's vision. Just the man he wanted to see. Maybe his luck was changing for the better.

Lime came into the room and spotted Shampoo-kun immediately. "Who are you? You aren't supposed to be here."

Shampoo-kun smiled in return. "Hi there, Lime! Don't you remember me?"

Lime examined the youth more closely. "Nope."

Shampoo-kun gave a soft laugh. "Of course you wouldn't. I've changed a lot since you last saw me. I bet you don't find my chest anywhere near as interesting as you once did, eh?"

Lime shook his head in confusion. "I don't know what you're talking about. You'd better come with me." Lime moved forward to seize Shampoo-kun so he could be properly interrogated by others.

The Amazon allowed his hand to slip into his shirt. "Lime, is it true that you have the blood of tigers running through your veins?"

"Yes!" Lime pounded a fist to his chest in pride. "I have the strength of the great cats in me. No one can match my might!"

"Too bad most three year olds can match your wits. Get ready to get in touch with your roots, Lime."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lime knew he didn't like the little man in front of him.

"This," Shampoo-kun said calmly, then threw the vial of water at Lime.

Mousse-panda hung from the chains at the wall. He had lost all feeling in his arms about an hour ago. That was something of a relief as the pain from his appendages had been tremendous. Having nothing better to do, he allowed his gaze to wander over the inside of the cell once again. His equipment and robes were lying in a pile at the far side of the room. The amount of material he had stashed on his person surprised even him. Where the hell had he picked up a lawn mower and VCR? How unfortunate they had taken the three hours required to remove everything from his person. There had to be something in that pile that could break the chains he was in. If only he could reach it somehow.

Mousse-panda looked to his cellmate. Unlike him, Ryouga-bat wore no shackles. There wasn't any need for them, since his jailers had seen fit to prevent him from escaping by hammering nails through the membrane of his wings and into the wall. Mousse-panda believed the lost one's unconsciousness was probably for the best. The screeching he had done when he was first put up was enough to drive a panda crazy.

The sound of the door opening caught his attention. It felt like they had eaten only about a couple of hours ago, so it couldn't be a meal. A shudder of terror went through him as he silently wondered if Herb was coming back. Some of the things the prince had done when he extracted information from Mousse-panda were very painful. And the worst part about it was Mousse-panda had written the truth on his boards. Herb just didn't believe he would betray Ranma so quickly. But when the story held up under the torture, Herb relented, promising more pain if Mousse-panda was lying. He had no desire to go though that again. Anything but that.

He could just make out a blurry form entering the room in front of him. It might have been Herb, the height was about the same, but it was hard to tell from a distance of ten feet. Best to make a preemptive strike instead of taking a chance.

*I'll tell you everything you need to know. Don't hurt me!*

"What an iron tower of courage you are, Mousse. It reminds me of why I care for you the way I do."

Mousse-panda jaw dropped in shock. The voice sounded like...*Shampoo? Is that you?*

Shampoo-kun dropped the sack he was carrying to the ground and seriously considered belting Mousse-panda just on general principle. How unfortunate there was no time for horseplay.

"Yes, it's me, you blind fool!"

*You've come to save me. I knew you loved me. Oh, the dangers you must have faced to rescue me from this awful dungeon. I always knew it was true what they say, about there being nothing like a little danger to the ones you love to bring out your true feelings for them.* Mousse-panda dropped his sign as he cried in joy.

Under the circumstances it probably wouldn't have done to tell him his true feeling was to leave the panda right where he was. That wasn't exactly true. Shampoo-kun wouldn't leave him to die, even if it would solve an awful lot of problems.

"I'm here for one reason and one reason only. Where's Ranma?"

Mousse-panda paused a moment before giving a soft look to Shampoo-kun. *He's dead. Herb killed him.*

It was amazing how five words could destroy a person's life.

Interlude  
Seven Devils

The trawler the man in black rode upon chugged its way loudly across the water. The previous owner was dead at the hands of the stone giant that traveled with him. He had gotten to kill someone after all. The action made him happy for the first time since he had been resurrected.

"Is it almost time, my lord?" The young Japanese man in white robes, the newest recruit, asked the man in black.

"Patience. There is one other I wish to retrieve first. Bringing her back will be just as difficult as your resurrection. She blew herself up, I'm afraid."

"Serves the bitch right," the man in the white robes mumbled.

Pain lanced through the robed man's gut as the man in black tightened his hand. "There will be no infighting amongst you. I will tolerate it as much as I will defiance. This time there will be no mistakes. You will all obey me to the letter, or I will do something to you much worse than death."

At last the man unclenched his hand and allowed the robed man to grovel before him. "I'm sorry master. I didn't mean to defy you!"

"I know. You still live. Now enough talk. It is time to raise the next to last of your members."

The man in black repeated the same spell that he used to bring back the white robed man. The only difference was that the resurrected person was a woman with scars across her face. Unlike the white robed man, no lightning was needed to bring her back to life. The woman opened her eyes and stared at the man in black.

"Who are you?" She managed to croak out at the man in black.

"Your god."

End Interlude

Mousse-panda just stared at the woman/man he loved. Shampoo-kun had recoiled, as though shot, upon reading Mousse-panda's declaration. Since then the black haired Amazon had stood there, motionless.

*Shampoo. Let's get out of here. Every second we waste just leads us closer to death.* Any moment now Herb could return. If that happened everyone was dead.

It was almost a full minute before Shampoo-kun finally responded by whispering under his breath. "I can't kill them all in a straight fight. There are too many."

*Shampoo, what are you talking about?* Mousse-panda was becoming increasingly concerned. Shampoo-kun wasn't behaving rationally. They needed to escape, not fight. Trying to take on the Musk would be suicide.

Shampoo-kun's head shot up as an idea occurred to him. "Poison! They have to eat, and I'm sure there's some kind of mess hall where they all dine at the same time."

He calmed down a little as he continued to plan, hand raised to his chin. "It'll have to be slow acting though. Maybe an hour before the effect hits. I wouldn't want to have a dozen drop dead immediately and have the rest refuse to eat. If there's an infirmary I can mix something together. I'm sure."

*Shampoo, you aren't making any sense.* Mousse-panda's worry increased by the moment. It seemed Shampoo-kun was talking to himself instead of the hanging prisoner.

Shampoo-kun continued, oblivious to the panda's writing. "Some won't eat though. They'll be busy doing other tasks, and others won't eat for whatever reason, but there won't be enough left to cause a problem. I'll start at the gates and work my way from there. Make sure no one escapes."

Mousse-panda finally saw Shampoo-kun's face and could make out the wild gleam in his eyes. The Amazon was quickly losing his mind to a psychotic frenzy. The panda had to defuse the situation quickly or else it would be too late for any of them.

"Herb dies last. Slowly. Painfully." Shampoo-kun began to tremble. "I'll give him pain. I'll show him what it means to have your soul torn apar..." He stopped abruptly as Mousse-panda slammed a sign against the wall to get his attention.

*I lied. Ranma's still alive.* Mousse-panda hoped that would bring Shampoo-kun back to reality. If it didn't...he let the thought trail off.

It had an effect, just not exactly the one the panda desired. Shampoo-kun looked at the hanging prisoner, then turned, going over to the pile of weapons that had come from Mousse's person. After sorting through them he settled upon a large battle ax and approached Mousse-panda. The way he slowly brandished the ax back and forth scared the life out of the prisoner.

*W...What are you doing with that? I'm sorry! All right? It was just a joke.* Mousse-panda did not like the way his long time companion was looking at him. If he did not know better, he would swear Shampoo-kun was going to use the blade on him.

Fear gripped Mousse-panda as Shampoo-kun stared at him, then held the weapon to his throat. "If you ever do anything like that again, I will kill you. Do you understand? Not hurt. Not cripple. Kill." Shampoo-kun lowered the weapon long enough to allow the panda to nod his head.

Shampoo-kun paused a moment before going over to take a closer look at Ryouga-bat. He really was nailed to the wall. Those sick Musk bastards were going to pay. If they did this to Ryouga there was no telling what Herb had done to Ranma. He went over and released Ryouga-bat from his predicament, and lowered him to the ground. The lost one began to recover and curled into a ball, trying to relieve some of the pain from the tattered remains of his wings.

*Are you going to let me down?* Mousse-panda finally worked up enough courage to address Shampoo-kun with a sign.

Shampoo-kun did not answer, but rather walked over to the pile and pulled out a pair of bolt cutters. Mousse-panda relaxed, if Shampoo-kun was going to kill him he was not going to use bolt cutters. He hoped.

The chains were cut as Mousse-panda landed on his feet. They moved all right as he worked his arms around in an effort to get his circulation going once again.

"Where are they keeping Ranma?" Shampoo-kun switched to Japanese so Ryouga-bat could understand.

Mousse just shrugged as he retrieved his robes and weapons. Herb had interrogated him about Ranma, not given him a tour of the fortress. *I don't know. We need to get out of here. Ranma wouldn't want you to risk his life for him.* He silently added to himself, "And I don't want you to risk his life for him."

The cold stare he received was all the answer he needed.

Ryouga-bat sqeeed at Shampoo-kun. The Amazon understood what he was trying to say in an instant. Ryouga-bat could find Ranma with his tracking ability. Shampoo-kun thanked every deity he could think of that he had accidentally knocked Ryouga into the Spring of Drowned Bat. Mousse-panda picked up the bat and placed him on his shoulder, The winged rodent indicated which way to go with his nose. The trio set off down the corridor to find Ranma.

The mists parted, allowing Ranma to witness the awesome scene before him. He had arrived at Jusenkyou, alone. Eyes took in the land of a hundred springs and poles. He could find the Spring of Young Drowned Man at last, then a cure. As he approached the floor of the valley he sensed a presence. He slowly turned to see the back of the Jusenkyou Guide next to a pole. The guide remained with his back turned as he spoke.

"Ah, young visitor. Welcome to Jusenkyou. You seek the Spring of Young Drowned Man, yes?"

"Yeah!" Ranma could barely contain his excitement. The cure.

"It right over there." The guide still didn't move, but rather pointed to a spring to the right.

"Thanks." Ranma raced off as he saw the solution to all his problems. "Never gonna be a girl again. Never gonna be a girl again," echoing through his mind.

He jumped in the pool, immersing himself totally. He was a man, a man, a man. He raised himself out of the water and examined himself. The shock was absolute as she saw that breasts now adorned her chest once again.

This was wrong, it was some kind of mistake. It had to be a mistake. She turned to the Jusenkyou guide, only to see it was not that Chinese gentleman she had met in what seemed like a lifetime ago.

Herb-chan, in the clothing of the guide, smiled at her. "Oops! Guess I made a mistake. That was the Spring of Young Drowned Girl. Do you know what that means?"

Ranma-chan could do nothing but shake her head.

"You get to be a girl full time!" Herb-chan began dancing around. "Never gonna be a guy again. Never gonna be a guy again."

Ranma-chan sat there in shock as a heavy rain started to fall. "Never...a...guy...again?' Her mind refused to accept it. There was several moments of dumfoundedness while she tried processing the information, failing each time. Even as her mind danced along the thin line between sanity and madness, she heard Herb-chan start speaking to someone else.

"Welcome to Jusenkyou, young lady. How'd you like to take a dip in that pool over there." Herb-chan pointed one out to Akane. "It's guaranteed to make you feel like a new man."

Akane thanked him and walked over to the pool, while Herb-chan looked Ranma-chan's way and smiled. That set her into action as she jumped out of her pool and raced over to Akane. The rain seemed into increase as she lost sight of her fiancee in the deluge.

"AKANE!"

Ranma-chan awakened from the nightmare to feel hot water pounding on her back. She was standing up, her arms stretched upwards, out, and back, thrusting her chest slightly forward. A closer examination revealed manacles clamped around both wrists. The chains that were attached reached back, wrapped several times around what appeared to be a the arms of a giant statue of a dragon. The chains ran through two bolts in those arms, firmly secure. The mouth of the dragon was spraying the hot water that was splashing Ranma-chan in the back. She tried moving her legs, but felt some kind of rope wrapped around them as well. That was when something finally donned on her. She was topless in the waist deep water.

"I'm afraid your cries went unheard by any but me. And my ears would qualify as being deaf to your needs."

Ranma-chan looked up to see the speaker, not that she didn't know who that loathsome voice belonged to already. Herb-chan stood at the end of the huge bath Ranma-chan was chained in. Bath wasn't really an accurate description of it. The area was more like a large pool given its vast size. Statues of various animals decorated the sides of the stone bath, giving it a dark feeling. A quick scan of the room revealed the duo were alone.

"It's nice to see you're awake. I was afraid the drugs we used to keep you subdued were never going to wear off."

Herb-chan removed her exotic bathrobe and allowed it to fall softly to the floor. Her slender, naked body moved suggestively as she approached the water. As she took a step forward Ranma-chan saw the transformation take place. It was only the second time Ranma-chan had observed a naked woman turn into a man from a viewpoint other than her own body. Fortunately, Shampoo was unaware that Ranma-chan had accidentally seen the transformation on that occasion. It had happened when they were in China and he went to bathe in a nearby spring, unaware Shampoo had already gone there for the same reason. It was purely by accident that he spotted her nude form quietly slip into the cold waters of the stream and transform. If she had known Ranma-chan had spotted her in the buff at that point in their relationship, the redhead had a feeling that she would have received a savage beating for violating Shampoo's privacy. A beating at the least. It was interesting to note he discovered purple really was her natural hair color that night. Quite a surprise that little fact was.

It was bizarre watching the transformation happen to someone else. So different from when she changed back and forth in that Ranma-chan could see the entire transformation at once, instead of just pieces of it with her point of view. Still, it felt slightly disturbing that her body underwent that metamorphosis in exactly the same manner. That was when a simple fact occurred to her.

"You're really a guy!" Ranma-chan blurted out.

"Of course," the now male Herb sniffed. "That was why I was seeking out Kiifuiton." He indicated the magic kettle sitting in a special altar next to the bath, "So I could unlock my curse. Oh Ranma, you poor, silly fool. You actually thought the Kiifuiton breaks Jusenkyou curses. Tsk Tsk!"

"What does it do then?"

Herb chuckled and explained how Chiisuiton locked people in their cursed form and Kiifuiton unlocked it. Of how the Musk used it in the past to increase the battle prowess of future generations by making animals into women and locking them in their cursed form so they could bear children with the abilities if those animals. Bragged about how he had the blood of dragons coursing through his veins. His bragging changed to bitterness when he described how he was accidentally cursed when he transformed an animal into a woman, not to mate with her, but so he could get used to breasts. Due to his training he had never seen women, save later in life, and certainly wasn't used to them naked. While he watched her in shock the animal knocked him into the Nyanniichuan and locked him in female form with Chiisuiton. After explaining the situation, Herb sidled over to Ranma-chan.

"I must thank you and your," Herb indicated Ranma-chan's chest. "display. I really am starting to get used to the sight of breasts."

"Get away from me you pervert! I'm really a guy!" Ranma-chan struggled to break her bonds.

Herb laughed at the attempt. "Those chains could hold even Lime. You cannot hope to break them." He moved closer still and held Ranma-chan's chin in his hand. Her attempt to bite him ended with a blow to the jaw, stunning the girl.

"I have no desire to do anything with you Saotome. At least, nothing sexual." Herb released her jaw and waded away from Ranma-chan. "Besides, I don't think it really is proper to call someone like you a man."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma-chan desperately tried to think of a way out. Nothing came to mind.

"You are as stupid as Mousse claimed you were. What temperature is this water?"

Ranma-chan had no idea what he was getting at. "Around eighty five I'd say."

"And what sex are you?"

The revelation hit Ranma-chan like a proverbial ton of bricks. She struggled against her bonds once more in mad panic. "Change me back you bastard! CHANGE ME BACK!"

Herb roared in laughter at Ranma-chan's suffering. Bringing Ranma to China was worth it, if for no other reason than the sight before him. "Now you know how I felt while trapped in a woman's body. You should have kept your mouth shut, you stupid, little fool. I might have let you off easy. Now this 'empress' shall have her revenge."

Herb floated on his back and began to backstroke, taunting Ranma-chan the entire time. "You really are the most pitiable girl I have ever seen. You've wasted your life in an attempt to find something that couldn't do you the slightest good. What a pathetic reason to die."

"So why haven't you killed me?" Ranma-chan spat out venomously.

Herb broke off his swim and approached Ranma-chan again. "Because I want to see you suffer first. You dared to mock me! No one may do that and live. It's now only a question of how you die. Be thankful that you helped me get over my breast fixation. I will probably let you die relatively painlessly."

"Thanks a lot." Ranma-chan said sarcastically.

That comment elicited yet another blow, only much harder. "On the other hand, I have learned to enjoy inflicting pain on others. You really should learn to keep your mouth shut, little girl. It will get you into trouble before all is said and done."

"Why should I be intimidated by some chick-" Ranma-chan paused in mock regret. "I'm sorry, I mean guy- I ain't ever heard of?"

Herb's face twitched at that one. He took a deep breath to calm himself and examined Ranma-chan much more closely. "Do you know how much more sensitive your breasts are as a female than when you're male?" He settled one hand on Ranma-chan's left breast, caressing it gingerly.

The reaction was instantaneous. "Get off me, you disgusting pervert!"

Herb gave a little smile, showing off his small fangs. He allowed his tongue to play across the larger teeth as he gave a sadistic leer. "I told you, I know you're a man. I'm not going to molest you. I'm going to hurt you."

And with that Herb sent hot chi energy through his hand and into Ranma-chan. He smiled in delight as the girl writhed in pain and screamed. Oh how he loved to hear them scream. He broke off the torture after a few moments, allowing him to assess Ranma-chan's condition. Surprisingly, the girl looked at him, through the pain and tears, with defiance remaining in her eyes.

"Is that the best you can do? Torture helpless prisoners?" Tears of pain rolled down her cheeks as she allowed her accusation to pass from her lips.

Herb reluctantly admitted to himself that Ranma-chan certainly had resilience. "And what would you have me do?"

Ranma-chan looked at him weakly. "Let me loose and give me a shot. If you're such hot stuff you should be able to take me out easy."

Herb looked at the girl in shock, then began to laugh. A deep sonorous laugh which seemed to echo in Ranma-chan's ears. She hoped her plan would work, to get Herb mad enough to let her go and try to fight her. Then she could take care of him and get the hell out of wherever they were.

Herb apparently figured out Ranma-chan's line of thinking. "Clever, girl. Very clever," he said in appreciation. "In fact, you might be clever enough to understand what's going on. Would you like me to tell you exactly why I have the audacity to call myself emperor?"

"I thought it was because you're an egomaniac."

"It won't work. I'm not going to let you out. Now, unless you want me to continue demonstrating to you what other parts of your female body are more sensitive than your male one, and believe me, there are much more sensitive parts, I suggest you keep the commentary to yourself." Herb waited a moment to see if that bit of information was absorbed by the girl.

Ranma-chan at last nodded. She couldn't care what Herb said, if he kept talking that meant she had extra time to figure another way out.

"Good." Herb didn't know why, but he felt the need to boast about what had happened to others. Of course, he could not possibly let anyone else with the knowledge live, which meant he would have to kill Ranma-chan once he was done with his tale.

"It all started a little over three years ago..."

Shampoo-kun, Mousse-panda, and Ryouga-bat, perched upon the panda's shoulder, made their way through the halls as quickly as they could. Ryouga-bat was taking them along the most direct route he sensed. Ranma was up ahead, somewhere. It was a small miracle that they had not run into any patrols, almost as though this section of the fortress was forbidden to have them. That was not to say it was devoid of everyone.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" The voice came from behind the group. All turned around in unison to see Mint staring directly at them. The youth immediately recognized the panda and bat in the party.

"So, you escaped your cell. I'll give you a chance. You can go back there now or I can make you go back."

Shampoo-kun took charge of the situation before the others could do anything. "Mousse, take Ryouga and find Ranma. I take care of Mint."

*No way! He's too dangerous. I'll help you fight him!* Mousse-panda pulled out a duck potty training seat and prepared to go into battle.

Shampoo-kun ripped his weapon out of his hands and swatted him in the head with it. "If you stay you just get in way. Go rescue Ranma! And if you fail..." The glare he threw Mousse's way left no doubt what fate would await the panda if he failed to find Ranma alive.

"Hey! You can't leave!" Mint shouted in protest as Mousse-panda and Ryouga went on ahead. His attempt to prevent the animals from leaving was made impossible as Shampoo-kun cut him off.

"You helped to take Ranma away. Now you find out what it means to threaten that which is most precious to me." Shampoo-kun moved forward to attack.

"...I ended up helping a man," Herb began. "It was the chanciest of meetings, I confess. I saved his life, not knowing who he was. I prevented him from being assassinated by his enemies. I almost didn't do it though. For a moment, I almost decided not to get involved. But I did, and that day changed my life forever.

"The man was a being of immense power, and he had a plan. When I saved him, and he found out who I was, he said that I could be involved in this great plan. It fell to me to gather the necessary resources to see to it the scheme worked. He knew he could trust me." Herb gave a crafty smile towards Ranma-chan. "We're family, in a manner of speaking."

Herb continued, "As a symbol of trust he enhanced my powers. The blood of dragons courses through my veins more powerfully than ever. It is to that I owe my enhancements. And now I have gathered the last of the materials and raised an army to help defend the place of power in our time of need. It is a time fast approaching. And when the smoke clears from our campaign he will rule the world, and in turn, I will be given control of China. Perhaps even the entire continent of Asia. At last! The Musk Dynasty will be a name that will be feared throughout the world once again! All will bow before us!" Herb looked to the ceiling in imagined glory.

Ranma-chan shook her head. The man was a loon all right, and she was stuck with him. Any further thoughts on the matter were cut off as a roar emanated from the entryway of the baths. Mousse-panda leaped out of the adjacent corridor and sent a series of chains spraying from his robes. Herb reacted almost instantly, submerging himself into the water, while taking a glancing slice in the shoulder by one of the blades on a chain. One of the other chains, this one with a mace on the end, struck one of the arms of the statue binding Ranma-chan's arms back. Mousse-panda landed in the water of the baths.

Herb propelled himself out of the water and grabbed the panda by the throat, once again sending chi energy through his hands. Mousse-panda was paralyzed by the pain as the energy ripped through his body. No matter how hard he tried, his muscles refused to obey his commands. Worse, he was starting to feel as though part of him was withering away, almost as though his heart was somehow curling up and dying. Why couldn't Shampoo simply let Ranma go and allow the two of them to escape? He was all she needed. Now he was going to die because Ranma was too powerless to help himself.

Herb allowed himself a toothy grin as he felt the life being burned out of his opponent. Watching people slowly waste away made him ecstatic. Maybe he was becoming psychotic, as the last person he killed this way suggested. It didn't really matter. No one could assault his person and live. His thoughts of vengeance were interrupted as Ryouga-bat managed to affix himself to Herb's face. It was pure muscle alone that enabled the lost one to leap from the edge of the pool and attach himself onto Herb's face. No chance of flying with his wings torn up as they were.

Herb released his grip on the panda and grabbed at the flying rodent. He quickly edged his fingers under the bat and threw him off across the baths. Fortunately for Ryouga-bat, it was the wall furthest away which he impacted into. The distance was enough that he lost most of his velocity, and only hit with enough impact to render him unconscious rather than killing him.

Herb turned in time to witness the now recovered panda leap on him. The creature's tremendous mass proved too much as he knocked the wind out of the prince while his weight forced Herb completely underwater. Herb made the mistake of trying to replace the air that had been knocked from his lungs by gasping in water. Immediately he began flailing as his body tried forcing the water out of the lungs by trying to exhale with air it did not have. Matters were made worse as Herb felt the panda's paws grasp themselves around his throat and keep him from the precious air he needed. His vision began to go red as he felt consciousness start to leave him. It was nothing more than a reflex that enabled Herb to raise his hands to the panda's chest and employ the Breath of the Dragon to his opponent. The force of the blast threw Mousse-panda off and flying through the air. He was unconscious before he hit the ground.

Herb raised himself to his feet, throwing up the water that had been in his lungs. His body desperately attempted to get oxygen back in even as it forced the water out. Herb was in so much pain from the battle raging within his body that he failed to hear the whistling sound from behind him. He was made aware that something was wrong as a swinging chain wrapped itself around his throat. The piece of masonry still attached to the end of the chain connected with his head, opening a huge gash above his eye from which blood flowed freely. Once again his body's attempts at regaining air were thwarted as the chain cut off the flow of oxygen to the lungs.

The masonry was what was left of the piece of arm of the stone dragon that had been knocked loose by Mousse's errant assault. The end of the chain still bolted in the piece, and the chain itself was still manacled to Ranma-chan's wrist, but the extra twenty feet of length made it just long enough to swing around in a circle until she could wrap it around Herb's throat. She pulled back on it for all she was worth, choking the life out of Herb.

"Change me back you bastard! I swear to god I am going to kill you if you don't change me back!" Ranma-chan continued to pull back on the chain, strangling Herb.

Herb was too busy choking to death to take note of Ranma-chan' threats. It took several moments before he managed to get his fingers underneath the chain that was wrapped around his throat, enabling him to get some air back. Once his panic attack subsided he realized what action he should take. Rather than run in the opposite direction, away from the pull, he would lessen the tension by running towards the girl. He spun and, while still gasping for air, ran towards Ranma-chan. The tension on the chain became non-existent as he closed the distance between himself and his attacker. He hurled it to the side and prepared to drive his fingers through the girl's skull for the audacity of the attack. Ranma-chan was still chained to the rock by the other length of metal and could not escape the blow. Just as Herb was about to drive his fingers forward, Ranma-chan lashed out with her feet, connecting with the combined might of both the force in her legs as well as Herb's forward momentum. The effect stunned the prince, forcing him to reel backwards in an attempt to recover.

Ranma-chan had freed her legs by breaking the rope that bound them. It was a simple matter once her hand became loose. Unfortunately, she lacked the power to shatter the stone the other arm was shackled to, so she elected to attack Herb from where she was. Now that he was stunned once more, she jumped up and grabbed onto the dragon's remaining arm. Using that for leverage, she wrapped her legs around Herb's throat, cutting off his air once again.

Herb reacted immediately by locking his hands together and raining two-fisted blows into Ranma-chan's midsection, trying to dislodge her legs from his neck. It wasn't as bad as having the chain wrapped around his throat, but he was still becoming weak from the beating he was suffering. Blood continued to flow from the cut above his eye and into his face. He could taste the sweet tang of his blood with the tongue as he desperately gasped for air. The sixth blow into Ranma-chan's midsection at last made her release the hold on the stone arm. Now all she had for leverage was the chain itself. Unfortunately for Herb, it was enough for Ranma-chan to maintain her leg lock around his neck.

Herb was becoming desperate once more. Today was the closest he had ever been to death, and he felt himself losing his abilities. He could not concentrate enough to use any of his chi attacks, and his vision was starting to go red yet a second time. In desperation he lashed out at the remaining stone arm, shattering it and discontinuing Ranma-chan's ability to apply leverage against him. With the sudden release, Ranma-chan fell back into the water while maintaining the leg lock. Herb took advantage of this and grabbed her waist, preventing the smaller girl from surfacing.

The shock of the leverage loss was so sudden Ranma-chan did not have a chance to take a breath of air before being submerged. Try as she might, Herb proved too powerful and kept her from surfacing. Now that she was underwater, it became a waiting game, who would run out of air first. It didn't take long for someone to come out ahead.

Herb felt Ranma-chan loosen the leg lock around his head. Once her legs were out of the way he released his grip on her waist and grabbed her throat, preventing the red head from surfacing. He felt a rush as his fingers embraced Ranma-chan's throat. It felt wonderful, having the girl kick and thrash weakly in his grasp. Drowning was an appropriate method for the girl to die. Her life had been changed in the waters of Jusenkyou. Now it would end in the waters of the Musk, whose past, present, and future were linked with that of Jusenkyou.

Herb was pleased that Ranma-chan's form ceased struggling. It shouldn't take too much longer. Soon the girl would be dead, then he could deal with the panda and the bat.

"LET HIM GO!"

Herb's head whipped around while maintaining the stranglehold. He didn't recognize the voice. He turned to observe a dark haired boy come into the bath room with a bloody Mint in front of him. At present, Shampoo-kun had an arm around Mint's forehead, bending it back so that his throat was revealed. All the better to stick the knife that was poised at his throat in. The fastest member of the Musk Dynasty wasn't going anywhere.

"Release him!" Herb hoped the tone of authority would convince the fool before him to give up Mint.

Shampoo-kun would have none of that. "LET HIM UP, HERB! OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL HIM NOW!"

Herb pulled Ranma-chan up by the neck and out of the water. Rather than simply tossing her aside he whipped the red head in front of him and placed an arm around the throat, as well as a hand by the side of her head. It would only take an instant to break the girl's neck. Just the lightest of tugs.

"Stalemate. You kill Mint, I'll kill her." Herb watched the boy's response. It was a surprise that Shampoo-kun came closer. He took his hand from Mint's head long enough to release a large sack at the edge of the pool, then continued forward. Once his foot touched the water Herb saw the transformation take place as the black haired boy was replaced by a purple haired girl. That was more than a little surprising. It seemed cursed people were coming out of the woodwork nowadays.

Shampoo moved closer until she and Mint were waist deep in the water, then stopped about twenty feet short of Herb.

Herb tried evaluating the opponent before him. A young girl, cursed by Nanniichuan and no more than sixteen, that could speak fluent Chinese. And she knew Ranma-chan was really a boy. A friend or lover perhaps.

"Let Mint go, or I'll kill her." He indicated Ranma-chan by shrugging her forward slightly.

"Let Ranma go, or I kill Mint."

"I don't think you have the guts." Time to see how far his opponent would go.

"Mint," Shampoo said softly. "shake hands with the man."

Mint slowly brought his right arm up to show Herb. The prince took in a short intake of breath. Mint's arm ended in a bloody, loosely bandaged stump.

The girl had signed her own death warrant. "You dare maim the members of the Musk Dynasty? You will die painfully for this travesty," he hissed quietly.

The threat didn't register with Shampoo. "I'll do more than maim them if you don't release Ranma, now. I'll kill Mint before your eyes. I'll kill Lime before you recover from that, and then I'll kill you..." She allowed the last word to roll off her tongue. "...slowly."

Herb wasn't sure about what to make of the threat to Lime. He wasn't anywhere in sight. Perhaps the girl had accomplices. No. That didn't make sense. They would be here if there were any, showing him Lime's capture. That part had to be a bluff. At least he could tell, judging by the girl's posture, she was serious about the threat to Mint. "I'll make a deal with you. I'll let you live and give you a large sum of money if you release Mint."

"Don't be stupid. Just give me Ranma, access to Kiifuiton, and safe passage out of here. Then I'll be out of your hair," Shampoo responded.

"Why? What is the boy to you?" The more Herb thought about it, the more it seemed to him the girl wasn't Japanese at all. Her Chinese had a local dialect. Then the memory came back to him. He knew who she was. It was one of the Amazons that had visited two or three years ago. The young one.

That was bad. Very bad. Herb would never admit it, but the Musk still carried a healthy respect, almost fear, for the Joketsuzoku ever since Hu Chiang killed the royal family all those centuries ago. They had been the only ones that ever threatened the Musk successfully. And there was still the problem of what the girl was doing here. The boy could not be family. He was Japanese. It could be a husband though. The girl was old enough for one, and if that was the case it could mean disaster. The Amazons were famous for taking back what they felt was theirs. And if a family member was threatened, the fortress could very well be infiltrated by a small army of Amazons that had come to reclaim one of their own. But Ranma had been in Japan, not China.

"The boy is your husband?" Herb had to know.

Shampoo made a face. "No. That doesn't matter. Release him?"

Herb was becoming frustrated. Mint was bleeding through his bandages and might not last much longer, but he still did not want to give up Ranma-chan. She had to die for what she had done.

"Well then, why do you want him? He isn't family, and he isn't your husband. Why are you risking all this for one?" None of it made sense to Herb. What would bring this girl before him to risk life and limb to rescue the boy? And why had she made that face when he asked her if he was her husband. It was almost as if...

Then it all fell into place.

Shampoo did not like the smile that slowly made its way across Herb's face. He may have had fangs like Ryouga, but the lost one's smile was warm and friendly. Herb's was anything but. It was almost as if he knew something.

"Tell me what your name is, little one," Herb asked.

Why was he attempting to find out her name? He was trying to buy time, that must have been it. "It's none of your business."

"Au contraire, my dear. It is very important. Now tell me it." He gave Ranma-chan's neck a slight jerk. It was with much amusement he saw Shampoo react to the motion.

"It's Shampoo!" She responded quickly, desperate to know why he wanted it, and to get him to stop threatening Ranma-chan.

"Just as I thought." Herb said to himself as Shampoo saw a look of satisfaction cross his face. He had her. "Would you like to know what the first word out of his mouth was when he came to? I think you'll find it informative."

"What!" she snapped.

"Oh this is so good. It was..." he paused a moment before continuing.

"...Akane."

Herb was rewarded by a look of devastation on Shampoo's face. It was as he suspected. She loved Ranma and that love was not returned, the pitiable little girl. Time to apply more thumbscrews.

He allowed contempt to trickle into his voice. "Why throw your life away for a man that doesn't even love you?" Now he switched to a tone of sympathy, hoping to gain the girl's trust.

"I will make you a generous offer. All you have done will be forgiven, and you can join the ranks of my army. I could use a crafty, skilled woman such as yourself. It wouldn't be without its rewards." The girl was attractive, and Herb wanted to make certain he was over that fixation with breasts he so recently possessed.

For the briefest of moments, he thought she considered it. It would have been pure folly to not take him up on the offer. She would be dead otherwise. That line of thought changed when he saw tears form in her eyes and she moved the knife hand ever so slightly, causing a small trickle of blood to run down Mint's neck.

"Herb! Pissing her off is a bad idea!" Mint felt the blade break his flesh, certain it was the end for him.

"Very well! You can have safe passage, access to Kiifuiton, and the girl!" Herb shouted, then released Ranma-chan. It was a surprise to see her stand up very weakly. Still out of it, but conscious.

"Ranma! Come here!" Shampoo barked at him. The red head slowly made her way over to the Amazon. As soon as Ranma-chan was close enough, Shampoo released Mint and grabbed Ranma-chan. The wolf pelted boy wasted no time in darting to Herb. Once he stood next to Herb, the prince gave a quick examination of the stump. He was bleeding heavily through the rough bandages the Amazon had bound him with. Without medical attention death would come soon.

"Go to the infirmary. Have the doctors heal you. Tell them if anything happens to you they will deal with me."

Mint did as he was ordered, darting out of the room. Herb took note that Mint wasn't even moving at half the speed he usually ran. Very bad shape indeed. There was no more time to be concerned with the departed youth as he allowed his attention to return to the remaining duo before him. Shampoo was helping Ranma-chan out of the water, supporting the smaller girl by the shoulder. There was no mistaking the concern on Shampoo's face, she was unquestionably in love with the girl. Well, he was going to give her a chance to die in the red head's arms. How romantic.

"Shampoo. Remember how I told you I would let you leave here alive?"

"Yes."

"I lied." That felt real good.

Her back was to him now, and he saw it stiffen at the declaration. "We had a deal."

Herb shrugged in response. "No one else heard it but the three of us and Mint, and soon that will be just myself and Mint. I don't think he'll be telling anyone."

"You would break your word?" Her back remained to him.

"As I said, who would know?" Herb couldn't help but compare her to a fly caught in a web. Now it was time for the spider to dine.

This time she didn't answer him. She just turned around and smiled.

A smile of ice.

The type of smile that freezes the blood in the veins.

Herb understood the smile.

She had not just expected this.

She WANTED it.

And at that moment he was more afraid than any other time in his life.

Shampoo made certain Ranma-chan could stand on her own, then bent down and opened the sack she had left next to the pool. It took but a moment for dexterous fingers to undo the knot that had closed the burlap sack. Herb tensed up as she reached in and pulled out an object, unable to tell if it was a weapon or some other object. Shampoo began speaking in the same tone Herb had just used with her.

"Herb. Remember how I said I could kill Lime before you could do anything?"

"Yes."

"I didn't lie." And with that she boldly held out the object from the sack in front of her, making certain Herb could see what it was.

She held a large, orange and black striped tomcat by the scruff of its neck.

"Wave at Herb, Lime."

The cat looked sheepishly at Herb and waved.

Herb's rage was so great he was unaware of the subtle shift in his body as his blood altered and eyes became a deeper shade of red. She had changed Lime into a cat! She dared to curse the Musk Dynasty!

"I SWEAR TO YOU YOUR SUFFERING WILL BE LEGENDARY, EVEN IN THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL!" Herb frothed at the mouth as he allowed the largest chi aura he had ever summoned build up around his body. Once Lime was out of the line of fire the girl was dead.

Shampoo appeared unafraid and grinned at Herb. "It gets worse." She turned to Ranma-chan. "Ranma, you forgive Shampoo later, okay?" And without waiting for a reply she stuck the cat into Ranma-chan's face, pressing it tightly against her.

The reaction was predictable as within moments the red head began pinwheeling her arms in terror, screaming out "CATCATCATCAT!" at the top of her lungs. Her weakness from the ordeal of the last few days was forgotten as adrenaline from places she didn't know existed fueled her body. It took all of Shampoo's strength to keep Ranma-chan from bolting too soon. It was only a few moments before she stopped resisting and crouched down on all fours, hissing and letting her hair, including the pig-tail, stand up on end just like a real cat.

"Look, Ranma! There the bad man that hurt you. Do something bad to him."

Ranma-neko needed no words of encouragement as she hissed and launched herself at Herb. The shock that had gripped Herb as he watched the transformation from girl to cat was broken as he realized where Ranma-neko was leaping, and who it blamed for all the agonies it had had to go through. Herb had just enough time to channel one blast through his hands before it was too late.

"BREATH OF THE DRAGON!" Herb shot the wide swath of flame-like chi into the air and directly in the path of his assailant. There was enough energy in the blast to fry over fifty normal people. Even Ranma-neko didn't stand a chance, or so Herb believed.

Ranma-neko saw the incoming blast and did the only thing she could. Instincts took over as she employed the cat fist itself to shred the chi attack as it arrived to char her body, even as it had done so in the mountains of Japan. This time none of the energy got through as the flames were reduced to nothing by Ranma-neko's maneuver.

Herb only had one last moment of coherent thought before Ranma-neko landed full force on his body and used the cat fist on him. Being killed at the hands of a human that thought she was a cat really was the most undignified way for a member of his great lineage to die.

Shampoo watched the carnage in glee. Hoping Herb suffered every bit he deserved. It seemed too short a time when Ranma-neko broke off her attack and sat proudly atop Herb's motionless form in the water. Ranma-neko looked nervously at the water it despised and leaped effortlessly to the edge of the bath, landing next to Shampoo.

"You is such a good girl, Ranma." She sat down and began scratching the top of Ranma-neko's head, eliciting a purr of content from the would-be feline.

Ranma-neko's purring stopped as she noticed an odd smell. She bent closer to Shampoo and began sniffing her side. Something wasn't right with the nice girl that was petting her.

"What you doing Ranma?" It took Shampoo a moment to realized what had captured Ranma-neko's attention. She slid her fingers under the shirt. "I seeping. That not too good."

Ranma-neko began nuzzling at the side.

"No do that Ranma. I'll be all right." That was when she heard the moan that emanated from the waters of the bath.

Herb's floating form bore many deep scratches and bruises. Most of the cuts were bleeding, though not badly. As terrible as the injuries were, Shampoo could clearly observe the prince's chest rise and fall with every breath he took. How unfortunate he hadn't passed out face down. He would have drowned already, saving her a lot of problems. As it was, she was going to have to clean up the mess.

Shampoo looked at Ranma-neko in a disappointed manner. "Why you no finish him off, Ranma? He try to kill you."

Ranma-neko just meowed in response to the Amazon.

"I take care of it then." Shampoo pulled her knife out once again and moved into the bath, making her way over to Herb's floating form. She got as far as placing the knife under his chin, and was about to finish the job, when Ranma-neko gave a caterwauling howl. Shampoo looked up to see Ranma-neko staring at her.

"Why you stop me Ranma? We have to kill him. He do many bad things to you."

Ranma-neko let out another howl.

Shampoo sighed. "If we no kill him now, he's going to try to hunt us down again. He going to make life very hard for us."

Ranma-neko continued her howl of protest.

"Fine," Shampoo's shoulders sagged. "You win. You is the one that beat him. If you want to show mercy, it okay." She made her way back to shore. "Your merciful streak is going to get us in trouble some day."

Ranma-neko rubbed against Shampoo in response. The Amazon couldn't help but smile. Even as a cat, Ranma's affections made her feel elated. "Come on. We get you Kiifuiton and change you back into boy-type."

As she made her way over to the altar that housed the magic objects, Kiifuiton and Chiisuiton, her mind began to think ahead. Maybe it was in their best interest to leave Herb alive. Now they could use him as a hostage to escape, which would be much easier than fighting their way out.

It took several moments to change Ranma back, the result of which caused him to come out of his neko phase, then douse the recovering Ryouga and Mousse. All four looked as though they had been through a war. It took a good bit of rationalization on everyone's part not to kill Herb for all he had done to them, but when several dozen soldiers appeared his value as a hostage increased tremendously.

They used Herb to get safe passage out of the fortress, and a promise that there would be no pursuit in exchange for emancipating him once they arrived at the base of the mountain. They used the single road rather than climbing down. They could see almost to the top, reassuring themselves the soldiers of the Musk were not pursuing. Once at the base they dumped Herb in a ditch and ran off as quickly as they could, getting as much distance between the castle and them should the group be betrayed.

Herb looked up to see the sun beating down upon him. It took several moments for the prince to determine he was alive. Once he started moving that changed to a wish he wasn't. His chest burned from the cat-fist he suffered at Ranma-neko's hands, or claws as the case might be. A grimace crossed his face as he forced himself to an upright position and determined where he was. Naked and in a ditch. Some people didn't know how to treat royalty.

Reeducating his attackers would be a task for later. Right now Herb had to return to the fortress. His castle. A place he could feel safe. Also of paramount importance was finding out if Ranma and the others had taken any of the objects that were needed for the great plan. He finished hauling himself to his feet and started up the mountain. Halfway up he encountered a contingent of guards led by Lime, who must have located some hot water. Herb ordered them to help him return to the fortress.

The first thing he did upon his return was to burst into his personal chambers and go to the secret compartment. He let out a sigh of relief as he discovered the blood of the various creatures was still present. There would have been no time to get any more of the rare substances before the time of the great plan would be upon them. And if he had failed, the Shogun would have been most displeased. Herb most likely would've taken his own life before allowing that one to have his way with him.

As his wounds were tended to, he thought long and hard about his foes. He was too weak for a direct confrontation at the present, yet he still wanted them. There had to be some way to strike out at them before the great plan took effect. True, once he was made emperor of China he could burn Joketsuzoku to the ground and hunt down Shampoo and Ranma at his leisure, but he didn't want to wait that long. Every second they escaped his vengeance was akin to pure hell, and they had to be punished for their crimes. Punished mercilessly. With their tremendous head start he believed it unlikely his soldiers would be able to catch up to the escapees, which meant there had to be some other option. As he let his mind wander, a part of what transpired nagged at him. He had studied the laws of the surrounding villages as part of his training to rule the Musk. There was something about the Amazons and Nanniichuan that was on the tip of his tongue. If only he could remember it...

The physicians stood out of earshot from Herb and began talking anxiously amongst themselves. It was not Herb's injuries that concerned them. As painful as they were, he would recover from them in about a week's time. It was the physical changes that had occurred to him, seemingly overnight. All agreed that his fangs had seemed to grow longer and his eyes had become even redder than they had been. But the thing that really had them in an uproar was his skin. If they did not know better, the places where he had been cut were healing over with what appeared to be scales. They were attempting to figure out what to do with him when Herb suddenly erupted in laughter. The physicians looked at one another in confusion, wondering if the pain had proven too much for their leader and his mind had snapped.

Epilogue

Two days later:

Reiza and Shi Fan continued playing cards. The road outpost watch duty was always a chore. They had so few visitors this time of year it was hardly worth the effort to place guards there. But they had to alert the village to the visitors that came so they could be greeted properly. That was why it was such a surprise that the lone man approached the outpost. Reiza got up first to greet him. She hoped he spoke Chinese. Sometimes the visitors were tourists, and it was always a chore to communicate to them. You would think that if they were coming to China they would bother to learn at least a little of the native language.

"Greetings visitor!" she spoke with the practiced ease of having said the words a thousand times. "Welcome to Joketuzoku! Have you been here before, or is this your first time?"

Herb smiled at the girl. "It's my first time. I would like to speak to someone in charge. It concerns one of your warriors, Shampoo, and a certain curse she has."

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Special Thanks to

Ryan Anderson  
Harold Ancell  
Gary Kleppe  
Dr. Wade Tritschler  
Kevin R Wible


	20. The Long Voyage Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranma and company travel back home on a unique ship in a roundabout way.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 20

The Long Journey Home

As always, any and every C+C appreciated  
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

or you can email me for previous chapters or anything else at sommer

Standard Disclaimer:

I don't own any of these guys. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

An Alternate Universe:  
What's gone on before, (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou. They began to spar, not realizing that Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma. After a brief misunderstanding, Shampoo ended up engaged to Kasumi. Once that was cleared up, Ranma became engaged to Akane. After many months of battles and adventures in chaos.(see previous chapters) The Musk Dynasty came to Japan seeking a magic kettle. In the ensuing fight over it Ranma, Mousse, and Ryouga were captured by them and taken to China to be killed. Shampoo traveled alone and engaged in a daring rescue attempt, cursing Lime with magic cat water and cutting off Mint's hand. Herb, who had locked Ranma in girl form and tortured him, was taken care of by Ranma in neko form. The four martial artists escaped with the forces of the Musk collecting to stop them. Now it's a race to get out of China before the Musk find them, and the quartet can go home.

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Ranma lay back on the pile of fruits and gazed up at the cloudless night sky to the stars. He had forgotten just how many one could see this far from the bright lights of civilization. Only away from the big cities could one begin to comprehend the vastness of space. Admittedly, his mind didn't go down avenues like that one too often, but every now and then he would try to gain an understanding of the way the universe worked. He would never succeed, but then again, no one ever did.

The silence of the night was broken solely by the wooden wheels of the cart as it made its way down the dusty road. There was a sort of serenity this far from a city. One could see vast distances at times, barring vegetation and never come across anything other than an occasional animal for living company. The peacefulness was a welcome relief from the hustle, bustle, and chaos of Nerima. In many ways it felt like an appropriate denouement to the fight with Herb, but they weren't out of danger yet. There was still a chance that Herb's forces could catch up to them, and given their present condition any confrontation might prove disastrous. All four were exhausted from their ordeal with Herb and any fight would be a chancy thing. Ranma allowed his hand to rise to his chest and scratch where Herb had burned it. The area of flesh still hurt like hell, even hours after it had been injured. Herb might have been crazy, but he knew how to inflict lasting pain.

During their escape, while the quartet traveled overland, a bit of good luck came their way. Earlier in the day a gray haired farmer, driving an oxen driven cart to a market in a distant town, rode past. He spied the four weary travelers walking alongside the road and offered them a ride. Even if they were inclined to, they were in no condition to refuse the invitation. So they hopped in the back of the cart full of fruit and vegetable products and were on their way. The only drawback was that the farmer was inclined to sing old American show tunes during the entire trip so his passengers would be entertained. How unfortunate the man couldn't hold a note if his life depended on it.

It was agreed that they sleep in shifts. Ryouga took the first, Shampoo followed, then it was Mousse's turn. When Mousse awakened Ranma, the blind one informed him that the farmer knew the truth about their situation and agreed to help get them to safety by driving through the night to a coastal town outside of the Musk's influence. When Ranma pressed him for an explanation, he said that the old man commented that Mousse reminded him of his own son, and the two had talked a great deal.

Now that there was a moment, Ranma was more than a little eager to wake the sleeping Shampoo up. After leaving the fortress, he had tried to talk to her on a number of occasions, only to have her cut him off. The first time he tried...

The quartet made their way through a number of thickly forested areas. Ryouga seemed to think they could make better time by going through them on foot. If they took an overland route with open areas the Musk would be able to run them down using horses. In the forest their animals would make worse time than the escapees, allowing them to pull ahead of any pursuit. The reasoning was sound, much to the surprise of everyone, so they did as he suggested. Once Ranma was convinced they had left their pursuers behind, he started running alongside Shampoo, trying to engage her in conversation.

"Hey, Shampoo," Ranma began. "Thanks for saving us. How did-?"

"Is no time for talking," she panted out, eyes remaining forward on the path ahead.

"I just wanted to-,"

"I said is no time for talking!" Again she cut him off. "We have to move!"

Ranma was feeling a mix of irritation and confusion. All he wanted to do was thank her. "Look, I-"

"Shampoo said she doesn't want to talk to you, Saotome." This time it was Mousse who leaped to the defense. "Now leave her alone!"

Shampoo turned around at that point and smile at the blind one. "Thank you, Mousse."

Ranma watched Mousse nearly pass out from joy of Shampoo thanking him. The fact she was doing it while siding against Ranma probably added to his happiness as well.

He shook his head in disbelief. She was siding with Mousse in something against him. If she was going to be that way, fine! He wouldn't talk to her.

However, that resolve had disappeared by now. He wanted to talk to her, even though, now that he thought about it, she had maneuvered it so they didn't have a shift next to one another. Difficult to say if it was intentional or not. Ranma gently moved over to where Shampoo rested and was about to gently place a hand on her to awaken the girl when his arm was entangled by a chain. He turned to see Mousse staring at him, a satisfied look on his face.

"I knew you were a pervert, Saotome."

Ranma wasn't about to take that lying down. He unwrapped the chain and tossed it back at Mousse, who coiled back into his sleeve with a simple twist of the wrist. "I ain't no pervert. I just wanted to ask Shampoo something."

Mousse smirked in Ranma's direction. "Shampoo thought you'd try something like that. She asked me to keep you from bothering her. It seems like she's had enough of your nonsense. About time too."

"Oh, right." Ranma scoffed. "Like I'm supposed to believe she told you that. What kind of a chump do you take me for?"

"Is true, Ranma."

Ranma turned in surprise at the speaker. Shampoo had awakened on her own, laying where she was, unmoving save that her eyes were open.

Shampoo continued. "I very tired, and not need you to interrupt my sleep with something stupid. Leave me alone!"

Ranma was confused. This was not the Shampoo he knew. She always had time for him. Always. There were occasions, especially after the first few weeks the started to trust one another, that the two of them talked for hours on end. Their discussions usually weren't important, but it felt good being able to talk to someone his own age with similar interests. Even after their arrival in Nerima she was still his primary confidant. But now it seemed like she was avoiding him.

"Look, I just want to-" This time Ranma was cut off by Mousse.

"She said she doesn't want to talk to you, Saotome. So leave her alone!" Mousse's body reflected the change his voice took. No longer was he telling Ranma what he wanted, he was ordering him to do it.

"What would you know about leaving her alone, panda-boy? The last time I checked you were the one always following in her wake, and every time you caught up to her she'd throw you back again." Ranma's body reflected his change of voice too. If Mousse wanted to lose a fight, he was about to get his wish.

"WOULD EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Ryouga finally had enough, mad as hell that his rest was interrupted by a bunch of people acting like children. Once he saw he had everyone's attention, he continued. "If Shampoo doesn't feel like playing fifty questions with you Ranma, that's fine. I don't feel like talking to anyone either. Now respect her wishes and leave her alone. I need rest, and so does everyone else. We've been through a lot and tempers are starting to flare. We'll all be a lot more levelheaded if we get some rest. And remember, we aren't out of danger yet."

With his speech over, Ryouga lay back down to rest once again. Everyone else remained in shock for a few moments. Ryouga had just done the impossible and played the role of peacemaker to an argument. What was worse was that what he said actually made sense. As disgruntled as Ranma was, he gave in and left Shampoo alone. They could talk the next day.

Ryouga awakened everyone to let them know they had arrived at the coastal town. There was a hustle to the town that made it feel very active, somewhat reminiscent of Nerima. Groups of people moved to and fro bearing shipments and cargo, transferring goods and equipment inland and receiving things to go out in return in an effort to get quickly from one place to another. The group immediately took note that some of the people appeared a little rough. Instincts took over as the individuals in the streets were evaluated. More than a handful of the inhabitants wore weapons in an open display. Most were hand to hand instruments. Swords, daggers, hammers, that sort of thing. Everyone noted that the town had a rough edge to it. Caution was going to be required.

Ranma took note of how slowly Shampoo got up. The purple haired girl appeared worse after her rest, not better. He was about to make his way over to her when she darted away in the opposite direction. To Ranma, it appeared she moved when she saw him out of the corner of her eye.

"Shampoo!" He moved in her direction to catch up. Enough was enough.

She paused long enough to look him in the eye. "Shampoo must get some things so we can leave here and go back to Japan. Must do them alone. If Ranma or others go along they not going to make deal with me."

As pale and weak as she looked, Ranma wasn't willing to bet she had the ability to cross the street on her own, let alone make some kind of deal with a bunch of strangers. "You might need some help."

"I no need help!" She spat out, then took a deep breath to calm down. "It involve friends of Amazons. They not trust me if I bring non-Amazons with me. I must go alone." This time she afforded Ranma a soft look to try to get him to back off.

"Isn't hanging around someone that knows Amazons risky?" Ryouga asked.

"As long as they not see me change, is no problem," she explained. "Besides, they not close friends of village. They just people we work with sometimes,"

With great reluctance, Ranma agreed to her demands. "Okay. We'll be over there." He pointed to an open air dining area in front of an inn. "If you ain't back in an hour, we're coming to find you."

Shampoo shook her head. "It may take several hours. I come back to you. No worry about me. Remember who rescue you from Herb." She gave a wan smile at that and turned to go.

"Yeah, but rescuing us took more out of you than you're willing to admit," Ranma said quietly under his breath. "I just hope you aren't biting off more than you can chew."

Shampoo thought of one other thing before she would leave. "And stay out of trouble. We try to keep incon...inconsp...we try to keep low profile."

Ranma gave a lopsided grin. "What? The three of us get into trouble. You've gotta be kidding."

Shampoo took a moment to fully take in the three youths standing before her. If those weren't famous last words, there was no such thing. She briefly considered staying, then turned to go, determining she wasn't any shape to baby-sit the trio.

The three youths looked at one another, as if deciding what they should do. Mousse spoke first. "The old man was kind enough to give us a little money. Let's get something to eat."

It took all of Shampoo's strength to maintain her facade of casualness. She was certain she had a fever and was getting weaker as time wore on. Shampoo hated lying to the others, but she needed to be alone. There was no need to worry them about her condition, and she didn't need Ranma fawning over her in pity. She was going to stand on her own two feet. No longer could she afford to rely on him as a crutch anymore. Ranma wasn't going to be there for her much longer, once he got married to Akane. Oh, how painful that was to admit, but it was the truth. He had chosen her back in Japan, and even Herb knew the violent tomboy was the one that held his heart. Ranma dreamed of his fiancee even as Shampoo dreamed of him. A tragedy.

She found the place she was looking for. A destination she neglected to mention to the others. The place was a small, inconspicuous building, but the sign on the outside told her what she needed to know. It was a doctor's office.

Shampoo walked past a man with his arm in a sling, as he left the building, and staggered weakly through the front doors. It was a small place with many chairs for the patients to wait. The place was empty, save for the doctor sitting in a chair towards the back, looking over the papers. It was a woman, much to Shampoo's relief. She preferred dealing with women.

"Hello! Can I help you?" Dr. Suin looked to see the new arrival.

Shampoo staggered over to the doctor. Faintness nearly overcoming her now.

"Dear God! You look like death warmed over." Suin quickly got up from her chair and moved to aid Shampoo. "Lie down, over here." She indicated a medical table in a room towards the back of the building.

Shampoo allowed the doctor to lead her and laid back on the table. It felt cold and metallic, not comfortable at all.

"I need you to help me," Shampoo got out weakly, then lifted her shirt.

Dr. Suin looked a bit surprised. The black material of Shampoo's shirt masked the bloodstains of the wound she bore in her side. The bandages that had been applied to the cut had both old and fresh blood on them, and had soaked through long ago, even the inside of the short was moist. The purple haired girl before the doctor was lucky she hadn't passed out from the blood loss alone.

"The dressing on it looks good," the doctor commented. She had seen hundreds of makeshift bandages that did little or no good to the wounded. So few people understood the proper way to apply a bandage while keeping foreign substances out of the injured area. But this was different, whoever did it knew how to treat such wounds.

"I did it myself." Shampoo had learned from Silk, one of Cologne's friends. Silk probably would have been a doctor in the village, if only she had had the desire to become one.

Suin didn't like the smug look that entered the Amazon's eyes. "It should have been changed a while ago."

"I didn't have time to change it," Shampoo replied, the smugness replaced by the look of exhaustion once again.

Suin removed the field dressing and examined the wound. As soon as she laid eyes upon it, she reevaluated the girl before her. She either enjoyed pain or had near total mastery of it. It was unquestionably a deep puncture wound in the side. Fortunately it pierced nothing vital, just went through the soft tissue of her flank. The pain must have been intense though. Most people would have passed out or gone into shock from the suffering of such an injury, but this girl held it together long enough to apply a quality field dressing to it. Very impressive.

Unfortunately, the wound had become infected. That combined with the blood loss was why the girl appeared to be in such terrible shape. The infection was going to have to be treated immediately, plus the wound on her side needed to be stitched closed. As Suin examined her, she took note of an older scar next to the new one. The girl was no stranger to this sort of thing. It didn't really matter to Suin. She certainly had dealt with worse than this with less resources on hand. Getting out the necessary instruments, she began to work her magic.

She finished within the hour and was beginning to clean up when her patient began to rise to her feet.

"Whoa, girl! Lie back down." she placed her hand on Shampoo's shoulder and attempted to gently guide her back down.

Shampoo gently, yet firmly, removed the hand from her person. "There are many things I need to do before I can get any rest."

Suin wasn't backing off. "You might end up resting for good if you aren't careful."

Shampoo smiled at the concern. Doctors could be so overprotective sometimes.

"Look," Dr. Suin understood what the girl was doing, and didn't like it one bit. "I want you to stay at least overnight for observation. I need to be sure the infection goes away and there aren't any further complications. You've been through a lot and need some rest."

Shampoo shook her head. The doctor was going to fight her tooth and nail over this. It was time to explain the situation to her. "The Musk Dynasty is after me. You've heard of them?" Suin nodded her head in response. "They will stop at nothing if they discover I'm still in China. I need to get out of the country. Today."

With a reluctant sigh Dr. Suin gave up. In this town, lots of people had prices on their heads and were on the run. "All right, all right already. Just let me give you some more antibiotics for later. We don't want to let that infection get any worse than it already is. And for God's sake, get some rest. If you keep pushing yourself you're going to collapse." She packed up some additional bandages and wished Shampoo luck. She had a feeling the purple haired girl was going to need it.

Anyone in their right mind that passed by the table the three youths were sitting at, would have given it a wide berth. Something strange was going on there, and it just wouldn't pay to try to discover what it was. The palpable silence surrounding the three was more than a little disturbing to everyone else around. Silence around the trio simply felt wrong.

The three men sat at the table and stared intently at the center of it. The object that had riveted their attention was a lone sandwich which sat atop a small paper plate that barely covered the bottom of it. All three gazed hungrily at it, as though it were the last piece of food on Earth.

At last Ranma could take the silence no longer. "Why'd you only get one?"

"It's all we could afford," Mousse responded.

Ryouga's curiosity got the better of him. "What kind is it?"

"Bloodtongue," the blind one answered.

Ranma made a face at that revelation. "Why'd you get that?"

"It's all we could afford," Mousse repeated.

Ranma paused to consider the situation. He knew what bloodtongue was made out of, and however awful it might have tasted, it would still be far better than anything Akane could whip up.

"Well, who gets it?" Ryouga finally asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

All three continued staring at the object at the center of the table, as though in the hope the sandwich would speak up and solve the problem for them.

Ryouga looked at it hungrily. Serving bats scheduled to die regular meals hadn't been high on Herb's list. It had been a couple of days since any of them had eaten, and all of their appetites were big enough to consume twenty such sandwiches, and still it would only satisfy their appetites.

Ranma's body made sounds that called the others to attention. The Saotome stomach complained from feeling more empty than it had in years, and let everyone know it. "We could fight for it," Ranma offered.

"And burn up so much energy we feel hungrier then if we all had one. I think not," Mousse's tone made no hint of tolerating argument.

"Guess we'll just have to divide it then." It was the best Ryouga could come up with.

"Are you crazy?" Ranma looked at Ryouga, then the sandwich. "The whole thing won't be able to dent my appetite, and you want me to share?"

"He's right," Mousse seconded Ryouga's motion. "It's the only way to be fair." Though Mousse didn't like the idea one bit. He deserved to be fed. Not the two idiots he was surrounded by.

Ranma saw he was going to be outvoted and wasn't about to go along with it. In fact, he recalled there was a secret technique in the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts that was made for situations just like this. His father used it against him on more than one occasion when there was only one piece of food between the two of them. Who would have thought Genma would come up with a stupid technique that would prove so useful? Ranma mentally prepared himself for the maneuver.

"Look! A fifty yen piece!" He stood up and pointed at a space on the floor between the two men sitting across from him.

Mousse actually fell for the trick for the briefest of moments. Once he realized that it was a trick he turned back to Ranma. Sure enough, it was just as he suspected. Ranma had grabbed the bloodtongue sandwich when everyone's back was turned and was about to swallow it whole. Mousse quickly whipped a chain out and snagged the sandwich out of Ranma's grasp, allowing Saotome's jaws to bite down on nothing but air.

"Ha! Since you tried to steal it, none for you. And since I'm the one that saved it, all for me."

Ryouga turned from his quick search and looked back up. "I didn't see any fifty yen piece Ranma. Are you sure it was a..." Ryouga trailed off as he saw Mousse about to bite down on their one and only meal. He barely managed to snatch it out of the blind one's hands, then pointed accusingly at him. "I see how you are, trying to eat the sandwich for yourselves and leaving me out. Well, I'm not going to stand for it. I'll solve the argument by eating it myself."

Mousse and Ranma looked at each other momentarily, nodded as though coming to an agreement, then jumped Ryouga.

Shampoo walked into the bar. It was amazing how dark and dismal a place like that could be in the middle of the day. Her eyes scanned the room and she couldn't help but notice the place was filled with what her great grandmother would have described as the scum of the earth. It was just such a person she needed to see. A guess was made about how to go about finding a captain to take her and her friends out of China quickly. She elected to approach the first person she thought looked like a smuggler and strike up a conversation with him. He was a roughish looking gentleman wearing a white shirt with black vest and black pants. He had a large, seven foot, almost gorilla like creature next to him. An odd pair. It hardly took any hinting at all before the two of them to started to talk business.

"I'll need a fast ship." Shampoo insisted. She had a feeling the man would set off into a speech about the speed of his vessel. She wasn't disappointed.

"Fast ship? You've never heard of the Centennial Hawk?" The man said with more than a note of incredulity.

"Should I have?"

"It's the ship that made the Dessel run in less than twelve days. I've outrun PRC ships. Not the local bulk cruisers mind you, I'm talking the new Japanese models they've purchased. She's fast enough for you, young lady."

A gut feeling told Shampoo that traveling with this man was going to be trouble. She listened to her instincts and thanked him, telling him she was no longer interested, then left.

The man turned to his large inhuman partner. "I'm telling you, Gummy. It's tough to get a job these days" That was when he noticed an older, white haired man and a youth that looked like he just hit twenty enter the bar and head towards his table. It appeared things were about to get interesting.

Shampoo looked over more occupants of the bar. There was a man with a peg leg and dead parrot on his shoulder, but she passed on him. Another thin man with an eyepatch and two long scars across his face stood at the bar. He was armed with a rapier like sword at his side and skull and crossbones on his chest. Again, Shampoo's instincts told her to stay away from the man, that he wasn't what she was looking for either. At last, her eyes settled upon a very handsome, sharp dressed man off in a corner of the bar. His dark hair and cobalt blue eyes seemed to shine in the dark recesses of the bar. Time to find out if he showed any promise.

The man gave a dazzling smile which caused Shampoo's heart to flutter. He was a handsome rascal, even more roguish than the first man."Did you need something, Miss?"

She elected to skip the idle chatter and get right to the point. "I need a smuggler like you to help me transport something."

The man suddenly became indignant. "I am no smuggler! I am an independent, discreet, freelance, transporter of rare and valuable goods."

"Oh!" It sounded to Shampoo that he had just described a smuggler. "I was looking for someone to help me transport some goods."

The man's demeanor changed back to what it was when he first spoke to Shampoo. "Well then, that's different. I'm Captain D'Amore, a man who can fulfill your every need. And I do mean your every need." He once again gave that lethal smile of his. Shampoo mentally marked him as a dangerous one, not so much physically as much as charming. That could make him even more dangerous than one who was good with a sword. His kind could reach places one can't get to with a weapon, and leave worse damage in the long run. It was fun playing with a fire like him, just so long as you didn't get burned. Maybe she needed to play a game of risk with this one. It wasn't as though she had anything, or anyone, better to play with. She would have to be careful though.

Shampoo walked out of the bar, somewhat satisfied if a bit taken off guard. The man had been very compliant with her demands, meeting every one of them with nary a hesitation. Still, maybe she got lucky with this one. He certainly could provide her with what she needed. She was considering exactly what to do next when she heard an explosion from the center of town.

"RANMA!" It was a shout of anger, not concern.

Shampoo moved as quickly as she could, anger drowning out the pain from her side as she ran. Sure enough, it was exactly the scene she had pictured in her mind. Portions of several buildings lay in ruin as Ranma, Mousse, and Ryouga seemed to be fighting over several pieces of something. She silently believed she should take the ship and leave them behind. It would serve them right for ignoring her advice and drawing attention to themselves.

All three were so wrapped up in fighting that it took them a moment to feel a blue aura of anger rise up behind them All three simultaneously cringed in cautious fear as they turned to see Shampoo, surrounded in a halo of blue light, with anger radiating from her like a miniature star. Ranma involuntarily made a comparison between the Amazon and Akane. He was getting the same feeling off of her and was a more than a little uneasy. The trio had enough sense to stop the fighting.

"What is you all fighting about?!" More anger radiated from her as she asked the question, already knowing she wasn't going to like the answer.

The other two shoved Ranma boldly forward, deciding he was the most likely to survive her rage. And if it didn't work he would at least buy them time to flee.

Ranma cleared his throat and began. "We were kinda hungry. And there was this one sandwich and we couldn't all eat it. We tried to divide it evenly, but that didn't work out so good, so we fought over it." He silently wondered if that explanation sounded lame to her as it did to him. Judging by her reaction, it was.

"You..." She paused and tried again. "You..." It still couldn't quiet get out as she was trembling too much. She allowed herself to take one quick breath, then continued. "YOU IS TRYING TO GET US KILLED OVER A STUPID SANDWICH?!"

"Well, not exactly," Ranma tried to clarify, but somehow he just couldn't come up with anything.

Surprisingly, Shampoo's anger disappeared. She just gave a small laugh of disbelief, then shook her head and turned away. "There a ship leaving in the hour. It at pier five. If you care enough to leave, meet Shampoo there. They'll have food on the ship."

"Where're you goin'?" Ranma called out to her rapidly departing form.

She turned long enough to give him a mocking look. "I going to talk to the captain. He is a..." she paused for a moment, then smiled at Ranma, "nice guy."

"Do you want some company?" Mousse finally made his existence known. Longing to spend some time with Shampoo. Since she was giving Ranma the cold shoulder it would have been the perfect opportunity for the two of them to be together. The cold stare he received in response told him it was best to leave her alone, for now. Curious that she should mention the captain though...

Ranma was equal parts curious and annoyed. Shampoo did behave rather oddly when she mentioned the captain, almost as though she were taunting him. Ranma was going to have to be properly introduced to the gentleman...

Ryouga looked down at the tattered remains of the sandwich he held in his hand. It was better than nothing...

Interlude  
Eight Devils

The man in black stared into the dark surface of the water from his position on the trawler. The ocean was deep here. Deep enough that the final one would never be recovered through conventional means. How fortunate the man in black did not rely on the mundane to succeed in his tasks.

The others watched eagerly, waiting for their last member, their leader, to be brought back.

The man in black allowed the magic to flow through his hand as he felt for the man buried in his watery grave. It took but moments to find the tremendous weight then use magic to bring him to the surface.

"You are the easiest to bring back, leader of the devils. I don't even need to waste energy resurrecting you. Just enough to heal your mind from the centuries of captivity you suffered in spending an eternity in the motionless dark. Even if you cannot die, you can know madness. But have no fear. I shall restore your mind and its glory. Then you will work for me once again, although this time there will be no betrayals. You will serve me and serve me well. Simply because you cannot die does not mean you cannot suffer. I can make you know nothing but agony for an immortal lifetime if I so choose."

As the speech ended there was a bubbling at the surface of the water. The seven beings on the deck watched intently as a rough, gold statue of a man rose above the surface of the water. The only thing that could be made outside of the lumpy body parts was the face. The contortions on it could leave no doubt that it was supposed to depict agony. And it did it so very well.

The man in black waved his hand and allowed the statue to rest upright upon the deck. He moved closer to the statue and began to run his hand lightly along its surface.

"Welcome back to the land of the light...Gemma."

The Eight Devils of Kimone were reunited for the first time in centuries. His foot soldiers were in place, and this time they would obey their true master.

The Shogun in the Dark laughed long and hard. The end of his millenniums long quest was at hand.

The end of everything was at hand.

End Interlude

All three showed up at the appointed place within the hour. Shampoo was there, waiting for them, but no captain was in sight, much to Ranma and Mousse's delight.

"It looks pretty good," Mousse commented.

"That's only because you're looking at a buoy," Ranma informed him, then turned him around to see the armored monstrosity before them.

All three youths saw what passed for a ship before them. It was a large, awful looking vessel that appeared to have three different hulls fused together. It was a large ship, maybe at one time a very small passenger liner. What was originally believed to be paint on the ship was actually the barnacles and rust which adorned the sides of the craft, and there was a horrible, fishy odor which emanated from it. All things considered, it looked like it had just been salvaged from the floor of the ocean.

"I could have bought a ship like this for what he charge me," Shampoo mumbled under her breath.

"Y'know," Ranma began. "Swimming back to Japan ain't looking like such a bad idea."

"If we get on this boat we might end up doing just that." Ryouga was more than a little fearful that the ship wouldn't make it out of the harbor. Then he commented on something else.

"The Worthless Piece of Shit?"

"I think you're being a little harsh, wouldn't you say?" Mousse tried defending it. "It may have seen better days, but I'm sure she's seaworthy."

"No." Ryouga shook his head. "I mean that's its name. Look at the bow."

Mousse followed Ryouga's finger and read the name on the front of the boat. Sure enough, the words "The Worthless Piece of Shit" were written on the side. "Why would anyone name their boat that?"

"If you had to crew on her, you'd call her that too." That condemnation was uttered by a short, swarthy looking man who had moved quietly up behind the group. The fact he had alerted no one to his presence before speaking spoke volumes about his abilities.

"Who're you?" Ranma asked.

"Alehandrjo Pena." The man smiled as he said that. "One of the crew of the TWPOS."

"Why would you serve on a horrible looking ship like that?" Ryouga asked.

The answer sounded more like a sigh than a statement. "I owe the captain a big time favor. All of the crew's like that. We either owe him one or can't get better jobs." He paused as he thought of something else. "Well, some are pressed into service, hoping to get to their original port of call."

"Where'd you get a ship like that?" Ranma asked. It truly was an abomination.

"The captain lost it in a card game."

"Do you no mean, 'won it in a card game'?" Shampoo inquired.

"Look at that thing and let me ask you: Would you want to win something like that?" Pena explained.

Shampoo considered that. She would most likely have scuttled it at the first available opportunity.

"He lost a bet and has to captain it for five years." Pena suddenly got a thoughtful gleam in his eye. "And what are you three doing here?"

"They're our passengers, Frog." This was spoken by the Captain D'Amore, who made his way down the gangplank to the people on the dock below.

"Sir, I'm Spanish. Why do you insist on calling me "Frog"?"

D'Amore just stared at him. "You look French to me."

Frog just sadly shook his head, then gave the update to the captain. "We've lost five men sir."

D'Amore gave an irritated look to his crewman. "Well, get some more." And with that he handed a club to Frog. The Spaniard simply rolled his eyes and walked off in search of more "crewmen."

"It's nice to see you're on time, Miss Shampoo." D'Amore's teeth gleamed as he gave her that oh, so devastating smile which made Shampoo smile cheerily back. It was no surprise that Ranma and Mousse took an immediate dislike to D'Amore.

"You didn't say you're happy to see us." Ranma tried giving the same smile at the captain, but fell short.

"You're right. I didn't"

The captain failed to notice the icy stare he received from Ranma at that comment. Instead, as he turned to walk up the gangplank he offered his arm to Shampoo, which she accepted with a smile. That, in turn, triggered scowls of anger from Ranma and Mousse. They nearly ran over each other as each tried to be the first one to follow Shampoo and D'Amore, with Ryouga bringing up the rear. They fought so hard trying to get past one another that they didn't catch up to the pair until they were almost to the end of the gangplank. As the arm linked couple set foot onto the ship, D'Amore's heel kicked the gangplank, where it was connected to the ship, ever so slightly. That movement was enough to drop the gangplank, and everyone remaining on it, into the ocean.

Shampoo whirled as she heard the shouts of the three youths. She witnessed what had happened and quickly gazed over the side. There had been no reason to mention any curses to D'Amore, and she didn't want him asking any questions about that. Looking over the edge she expected to see a girl, bat, and panda swimming for their lives. Instead, she saw Ranma had managed to clutch the deck with his fingertips, right along the edge of the boat and just barely hanging on. Mousse had managed to latch onto Ranma's pants, and Ryouga was hanging from Mousse's legs.

"Oops!" D'Amore held his face in false shame. "How did that happen?"

Shampoo understood the man knew damn well what he had done, but smiled back anyway. Nothing bad had come of the matter.

"Let go of me you pervert!" Ranma yelled. He could feel his pants start to slip from his waist.

"Forget it, Saotome! These are my only robes and I don't want to get them wet. I'd haul myself up if it wasn't for this dead weight around my legs." He finally turned his attention to Ryouga. "Let go of me, damn it!"

"No way!" Ryouga shook his head. "My wings are still messed up. If I fall in the water I'll drown."

Ryouga started climbing up Mousse as Mousse made his way up Ranma. The combined efforts of both men, as well as the miserable handhold Ranma had, prevented him from making his way up. As the other two got to the top they left Ranma to pull himself up.

"Thanks a lot," he muttered under his breath as he managed to haul himself up to the deck.

"You're welcome," was simultaneously spoken by the duo who had used him as a makeshift ladder.

"I have to go do captainy things. I shall you see you later, Shampoo." He made a deep flourishing bow as he kissed the back of her hand and departed. Shampoo gave a soft giggle and happily walked off in the opposite direction.

Ryouga couldn't help but feel the heat generated by the two men in front of him. It didn't look like they were taking a liking to the captain.

"Man, I hate guys like that," Ranma muttered under his breath. "Those smooth talking, suave creeps make me wanna puke."

"You're right." Mousse nodded his head in agreement.

It took each youth a moment to understand what just happened. For the first time in the months since they had first met at Jusenkyou, they had at last agreed on something. They both recoiled in surprise and disgust, neither certain what to make of the situation.

Mousse chose a course of action first. "I'm going to have a little discussion with the 'captain'. I'll explain a few things about the facts of life to him."

Ranma noticed the blind one crack his knuckles as he said that. Good. With any luck they would beat each other up and stay out of his way.

Mousse left without any worries that Saotome would do anything to Shampoo. It was obvious she didn't care about him anymore. Oh joyous day! She had avoided Ranma like the plague since the rescue at the Musk Fortress. Of course there was now this new threat, the smooth talking pretty boy, Captain D'Amore. Mousse chuckled to himself, having picked up the habit from Tarou. The captain was about to have a close encounter of the painful kind. No one would stand between Mousse and his Shampoo. No one.

Ranma left in the direction Shampoo had taken. It was time to get to the bottom of things, and there was nowhere to hide on a ship. He found Shampoo humming to herself as she strolled along the deck of the ship. The vessel was still devoid of all but a skeleton crew, leaving he and Shampoo all the time they needed.

"Hey, Shampoo!" he called out, hoping to get her to slow down. The Amazon just gave an irate look at him as he approached. He was really going to have to get to the bottom of why she was behaving that way.

"Would you tell me what's going on?"

Shampoo continued looking irate. "Nothing going on."

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"I not avoiding you. It all in you head." Looking satisfied that she had explained herself, she turned to leave again.

"Oh no you don't!" Ranma was sick and tired of chasing after her. Answers were desired and he wanted them now. He was not about to spend the entire trip chasing after her on the piece of junk ship they were on. Things were going to be settled before the ship left the dock.

He reached out a hand to grab onto Shampoo. The quick movement caught her eye and she darted out of the way. She eluded the grasp, but managed to hit the railing with her side. The wounded side as luck would have it. As soon as she made contact with metal, she gave a little cry.

Ranma knew something was wrong in an instant. Shampoo had not hit with anywhere near enough force to elicit that response. "What's wrong?"

"Is nothing wrong." Sweat formed on her brow from the pain. She would hit it in just the right spot.

"Which is why you look like you're ready to fall over. Don't feed me that line." He softened his voice as he reached out to her. It appeared she was going to let him touch her side, but she batted his hand away at the last moment.

"Is nothing to be concerned about. Is just small scratch." She took a step back, increasing the distance between her and Ranma.

Whether it was her attitude in general, or if the journey was wearing down on him, Ranma wouldn't have been able to say. What happened was he finally lost his temper. "Yeah! I remember the last, 'is just small scratch' you had! You were in the hospital for a couple of days and it took you weeks to heal, thanks to Perfume,"

Shampoo's mood darkened noticeably. "You no make fun of the way Shampoo talk!"

"Well, Ranma no make fun of the way Shampoo talk if Shampoo stop treating Ranma like he no matter."

Whatever direct message he was trying to send wasn't making it to Shampoo's brain. All she heard was a boy making fun of her speech patterns. It was all his fault! She would have been able to speak better if he hadn't been frustrating her so. "Shut up, Ranma!"

"No, I ain't! I can't believe you were this stupid!" he reprimanded.

"What that supposed to mean?" She had suddenly lost the direction of the conversation.

"I mean you coming all the way to China," he explained. "You shouldn't have done it. You were hurt!"

Shampoo began to wonder what he was talking about. If she hadn't come he would have been left to Herb's tender mercies. "I had to rescue you."

"No, you didn't. I could have gotten out on my own." He began to calm down a little. "And even if I couldn't have, you still shouldn't have come. You could have been killed, either by Herb or the Amazons if they spotted you. It was a stupid risk, and it wouldn't have been worth it."

He never saw the slap coming. One second she was standing a good five feet away from him, the next she had closed the distance and struck him hard enough to turn his head. His hand went reflexively to his face as he felt the sting of the slap settle in, staring at Shampoo with a look of disbelief in his face. What he saw in hers was a surprise. She was beginning to cry, and not from pain. At least not from the pain of the wound.

"Never tell Shampoo, Ranma life is no worth saving!" And with that declaration she ran off into the interior of the ship.

Ranma stood there, paralyzed. Part of him wanted to follow, to try to figure out what upset her, but he was too confused by her behavior to trust himself to not do something else wrong and make matters worse. Not that he understood what went wrong in the first place. Better to take some time and let things settle in. For a change.

Ryouga remained right where he was. Everyone else had left, and he knew that if he allowed his feet to leave the spot they were currently at the inevitable would happen and he'd get lost. If that happened he might not ever make it back to Japan. So it was no small surprise to the returning crewmembers, who fished the gangplank out of the water and hooked back up, that they saw someone standing motionless in their path. Ryouga viewed Frog and some other cohorts carrying five unconscious bodies onto the ship. They had to pause at the head of the gangplank due to Ryouga blocking the path onto the ship.

"Would you mind moving? We're in kind of a rush. Generally guys that get pressed into service raise a bit more of a fuss if they're within sight of land," Frog explained.

"Sure, but could someone take me to my cabin? I got lost." Ryouga looked hopefully at the crew.

Someone did. A young girl, about Ryouga's age with black hair and wearing a blue and black striped bandanna with a black shirt and blue pants stepped forward. As she laid eyes upon Ryouga she smiled at him. "Nice bandanna."

Ryouga responded in kind. "Same with you, Miss ahh...?"

"My name's Akiko Yoshida, but I'll kick your butt if you call me anything other than Aki."

Ryouga smiled at that. He preferred being informal. Whenever he tried to act like a gentleman there was always the fear he'd screw something up. "Just call me Ryouga then." He held his hand forward, which Aki accepted. It was a surprise to discover the girl possessed an incredibly strong grip that almost rivaled Ryouga's own.

"I'll take you to your cabin." She looped her arm through his and guided him into the ship. Once out of sight, the other crewmen stood around and smiled.

"Looks like Aki's in love again," Frog stated.

"Think it was a good idea to let her take him to his cabin though?" That was said by a huge, black man who picked up Aki's unconscious burden.

"Don't worry, Brunt," Frog explained. "It'll give them time to get acquainted. Still, we'd better test him before she tries putting the moves on him."

"Yeah!" Brunt agreed. "We don't want his back broken like the last one."

"Thanks for giving me a tour of the ship. It was very kind of you." The tour Aki had given Ryouga was thorough. He was certain they hadn't missed a single corner of the ship.

Aki just laughed as she placed her hand behind her head and chuckled nervously. Something about that maneuver seemed awful familiar to Ryouga, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Yes. Well, here's your room." She indicated the door in front of her.

Just as she finished the PA system of the ship blared out. The noise volume was way too high. "Attention all hands. There is a meeting on the aft portion of the deck. All hands report immediately."

Aki began to look a little nervous when another crewman, dressed in a white business suit with a red rose in the breast pocket, walked by. Her arm darted forward as she snared the man's arm. "Kawada. This is one of our passengers Ryouga. Ryouga, this is our first mate, Kawada."

The two men shook hands. "You hear the announcement?" Aki asked the newcomer.

Kawada looked carefully between the two, then nodded his head in understanding. "Sure did. Would you like some company?"

Aki relaxed noticeably. "Please."

Ryouga volunteered to come along. Hopefully the vessel would leave port soon and he wouldn't have to worry about wandering off the ship, probably. After that he could find the room on his own, eventually.

As the trio made it to the deck they saw almost everyone else had already gathered. Kawada walked over to the captain and took up his position next to him. Ryouga spotted Ranma standing off to one side and walked over to him.

The captain grabbed a megaphone and began yelling at everyone. "I have an announcement to make! There has already been an attempt to mutiny on this vessel! I cannot tell you how sorely disappointed I am in the lot of you. You guys usually wait until we've been out to sea at least two days before you try anything like that. Is this what I have to expect from you this trip?"

There was a general murmur from the crowd at the end of the little speech. Kawada picked up on the what the voices were saying and translated to the captain. "It appears they didn't plan the mutiny, sir. Who was it that attempted it?"

"That man up there. I'm putting him on display as an example to all who would seek to defy me." D'Amore pointed to the man he had incapacitated. Mousse was unconscious and wrapped up in his own chains, tied to the crow's nest.

"He's one of the passengers, sir." Kawada explained in a tired voice.

D'Amore scratched his head. "Can passengers mutiny?"

"It could only happen to you, sir," Kawada said dryly.

"Right! He stays up then." The captain turned back to the crew. "As for the rest of you. Good news. We have passengers on this voyage that are paying in advance."

"Does that mean we get paid this time sir?" Brunt shouted out.

"Yes it does," D'Amore answered. That brought a cheer from the crowd.

"Nice move sir," Kawada whispered. The captain had probably bought himself two extra days before some of the crew would try to mutiny.

Satisfied, D'Amore returned his attention to the crew. "The rest of you, SHOVE OFF!"

Kawada translated for them that the captain meant untie the ship, not leave it. In a matter of minutes the crew cut the boat loose from the dock and sailed out to sea.

Ranma walked around the deck with Ryouga, both keeping their tempers in check as they watched themselves drift away from China and out to sea.

Ranma tapped one of the passing crewmen on the shoulder. "When do we get to eat?"

The crewman walked over to two fishing poles that were resting against the wall and handed them to the boys. "Bait's in the box over there. Good luck." He indicated a box next to the wall and walked off.

"I should have known it would be something like this," Ryouga muttered. Having nothing better to do, the two youths placed some bait on the hooks and started fishing.

"You've been quiet this whole trip," Ranma asked. "Something wrong?"

Ryouga considered that for a moment. After thinking about it he began speaking. "What do you think of me, Ranma? I mean what do you really think?"

Ranma was a bit taken aback by the bluntness of the question. He paused a moment to consider exactly what it was Ryouga was asking. "Well. You're depressing. Violent. Couldn't find your way out of a paper bag. Thick as a brick. Depressing. You reflexively blame everything that goes wrong with your life on me. Very gullible. Did I say you're depressing?"

With each statement Ryouga seemed to draw deeper into himself. Ranma actually noticed the effect he was having on Ryouga, for a change, and reconsidered his words.

"You're also a heck of a fighter. Loyal, in a puppy dog sort of way. You do seem to have some ethics, unlike some blind pandas I could mention. Umm...you're strong." Ranma was running out of nice things to say.

Ryouga gave a weak smile at Ranma. "I know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it. I really have some problems, don't I?"

"Well, yeah. You do." Ranma let out reluctantly. "But everyone I know does. Except me of course," he quickly added.

Ryouga chortled at that. The sad thing was, Ranma probably believed it. Still, his admissions made Ryouga's decision easier.

"I've been thinking a lot since escaping Herb and the Musk," Ryouga confessed. "I almost died, Ranma. If it wasn't for Shampoo, I think I would have." He noticed Ranma seemed to react quietly to that statement, but said nothing.

"Anyway, death makes you think about things. Like what you're doing in your life. I've made some decisions. It's time for me to try to do something I've been afraid of." Ryouga let the statement hang there.

"And that would be?" Ranma was a bit impatient at the lag time Ryouga seemed to have developed between speaking one statement and then the next.

"I'm going to confess my feelings to the girl I think I l...l...like. I can't just wait around and hope something is going to happen. I have to take the first step towards a relationship with her. And I'm going to do it first thing when I get back."

Ranma thought he knew where this was leading to, and he wasn't sure he was going to like it. Ryouga had an awful lot of problems to hang on Ukyou. He wasn't sure if his friend deserved to have someone like Ryouga after her.

"Are you sure she's interested in you? Maybe you should think about it some more." Ranma tried to avert the potentially damaging situation. If for no other reason than, if it fell through, he would get blamed for the failure.

"I'm pretty sure she is. Normally she's not too aggressive, but some of the things she said made me think she wants to get serious."

Ukyou was coming onto Ryouga? That was a surprise, but everything about the relationship between Ryouga and the chef was a bit of an enigma to Ranma. "I'm not sure I can approve of it. I mean, and I'm really sorry for being blunt here, but I think she deserves better than you."

Ryouga shook his fist at Ranma. "And what right do you have to get between me and Kyoko?"

Ranma stood back in shock. Kyoko. The cheerleader Kyoko? (If it was Godai-sensei's Kyoko that would be a whole other problem.) "You mean Kyoko? 'Rah, Rah, I know martial arts cheerleading' Kyoko? I thought you meant..." Ranma let that trail off. No need for Ryouga to know what he had been thinking.

"Of course. I'm ready to go out on a d...date with her, if she is."

That was a relief for Ranma. He put his hands on Ryouga's shoulders and laughed. "You go for it. I gotta go. See you later." He walked towards the bow of the ship, leaving Ryouga alone.

Ryuoga watched Ranma leave. He knew who Ranma thought he was talking about, Ukyou. He had thought about it. She was kind, sweet, cute, and all sorts of other good things, but he decided against it. And the reason was simple. He was a coward. He could admit it to himself. Oh, he tried rationalizing it with all sorts of reasons, but the bottom line was, he was afraid.

Ukyou was the first real friend he'd ever had. Ranma couldn't understand what that meant. He may not have had many friends, but he had some. Ryouga had always been alone. Ranma had no idea what it was like to only have one's shadow as a companion. It was a horrible, lonely existence. Even traveling as they were, being hunted and all, didn't feel quite as bad as walking alone with no one chasing him. No one caring about him. He wanted someone to acknowledge his existence. Now he had a friend. There was someone in his life that cared about him. It didn't matter to her that he got lost, or had a stupid curse. She liked him just the way he was, and he liked her just the way she was. As things were, they were both happy.

But if he told her how he felt, that would be different. What if it didn't work out? What if she didn't feel the same way about him? If that happened, not only would he lose someone he loved, but he'd lose the only friend he ever had. That was why he couldn't say anything. He knew he had a lot of problems, and the truth was he didn't know if he could work them out. Ukyou deserved better. So he'd make a play for Kyoko. She seemed to like him, and he kind of liked her. He couldn't take the chance of changing his relationship with Ukyou. He could be happy with things they way they were now.

Ryouga didn't feel like thinking anymore. So he settled down and watched the world sail by.

Hours later, Ranma collected Ryouga and went down to the mess. Apparently enough fish had been caught that everyone could eat.

"Where are the others?" Ryouga asked.

"Mousse is still tied up, and no, I'm not letting him down. As for Shampoo, she's dining with Captain D'Jerkface."

Ryouga noticed the touch of bitterness in Ranma's voice. "Are you going to apologize to her?"

"I ain't got nuthin' to apologize about! She's the one acting like a snob. If she doesn't want to talk to me, fine! I ain't got nothing to say to her anyway!" Ranma crossed his arms. "It ain't my fault," he muttered.

Ranma stuffed his face and departed, leaving Ryouga alone. It wasn't long before Frog, Brunt, and Kawada entered and made their way over to Ryouga.

"Get up, Ryouga. We have to ask you something." Frog said.

Ryouga stood up, curious. "What is it?"

Kawada tried explaining as best he could. "Well, you see, you have to pass the test before you can do anything with her."

Ryouga was totally confused. "What test? With who?"

Brunt smiled. "If you pass the test, you'll get to find out. Remember, all of this is for your own good." And with that Brunt let loose with his massive fist and connected with Ryouga's stomach. The boy was sent flying hard into one of the metal walls, then bounced off, leaving a dent behind.

Ryouga quickly got to his feet, the look of payback in his eye. "I don't know what that was for, but you've had it."

As he approached the big man the others got in front of him, trying to ward him off. Kawada spoke first. "You got it wrong. You just passed the test."

"WHAT TEST?!" Ryouga had enough of the mystery.

"Well, you see," Frog cleared his throat. "Aki's a lot stronger than she looks."

"And," Brunt continued, "when she gets excited, she doesn't know her own strength."

"She dislocated several vertebrae on the last guy she hugged." Frog picked up where Brunt left off. "So we had to make sure you can take the punishment."

"You passed with flying colors by the way," Kawada stated.

"What does any of this have to do with Aki?" Confusion was a state Ryouga was somewhat used to, and this was one of those occasions.

The three smiled at each other, then spoke simultaneously. "You'll see." And with that they left the mess, doing nothing to alleviate Ryouga's confusion.

"What the heck was that all about?"

"Hi there, Ryouga." Aki had made her way behind him and whispered in his ear.

"Oh, hi." For some odd reason he felt heat rise to his cheeks. Maybe she understood what was going on. "Do you know why Brunt would hit me? He said something about a test."

Ryouga couldn't help but notice the facial twitch Aki suddenly developed. "I'll kill them. The Idiot Trio are interfering in my life again," she whispered under her breath as she balled her fists, then switched her attention back to Ryouga. "I'm sorry, but I have to teach them a lesson. I'll see you tomorrow or something."

As she turned to go, she gave Ryouga one last look. "By the way, did you pass the test?"

"Umm, I think so."

Aki gave a squeal of delight and bounced off, leaving Ryouga even more confused than before.

Ranma had stopped in front of Shampoo's cabin and read the note again:

I NOT WANT TO BE DISTURBED. THAT MEANS YOU ESPECIALLY, RANMA.

The death's head below his name was a nice touch. He was getting singled out again, and for no damn reason. Why was she behaving this way? She came all the way to China just to give him a cold shoulder? That made no sense. None whatsoever. It was time for some answers, but every time he tried she just cut him off or ran away. Well, she was trapped in her room now and wouldn't be able to run. This time she wasn't going to cut him off either. It was time for a showdown. Just as he raised his hand to hammer on the door he paused.

That was the problem with the whole situation. He was confronting it as a conflict, and she was reacting accordingly. If he switched tactics and tried to be nice, maybe she would respond in kind. If it wasn't so embarrassing, he would have given himself a pat on the back for such wonderful insight. At any rate, it was worth a shot.

He gently rapped on the door. After receiving no answer, he tried again. Still no response. An internal conflict developed of whether or not he should try the handle, or leave her alone as she suggested. There needed to be a peace made between them, for his sake if not hers. The doorknob turned under his grasp as he peeked in.

The room was dark, moonlight coming in only through a single porthole. He allowed his eyes to adjust to the gloom and saw Shampoo, lying in her bed under the covers so that only her face was visible, fast asleep. He quietly entered the room and shut the door behind him so as not to disturb her. Why was he doing that? If she woke up to find him in the room she would scream at him then throw him out. And the sad thing was, she would actually be justified. Staying served no useful purpose. He allowed himself one last glance at her form as he turned to go.

Then his eyes opened a little in shock. It could have been the way the moonlight seemed to move across her face as she lay in her bed. Or perhaps it was the way her face appeared when she was at rest, relaxed and with several errant purple strands lying across her nose. Whatever it was, it made Ranma notice one thing about the girl before him. Something he should have realized a long time ago.

"She's beautiful."

It was nothing more than the faintest of whispers. Only someone next to him would have been able to make out the statement. Strength left his legs as he sat down on the floor and stared at her. Why hadn't he realized it before? He had known her for months. Had spent more time with her than anyone else. Of all the people that should have realized it, he was the first, but he hadn't. Why?

Memories of when they first met came back to his mind. He had been cursed. There had been nothing but shock. Then denial. The curse consumed all his thoughts. There was no room for anything else. Then recollections of the purple haired girl that had been knocked into the water at the same time as he. The one whose eyes he met for the briefest of instants as he fell headlong into the cursed spring. Ranma-chan turned to see the purple haired one was no longer a girl, but a boy whose appearance was so like that of the girl that the two could have been siblings. He jumped down from the pole he was on and landed, still in shock after the first cry of surprise. The panda had come over and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, as though to comfort him. The boy turned on it in rage and punched the panda hard, sending him to a far off place. Then he reexamined himself more thoroughly, as though making certain everything he believed was true.

Then he screamed. That horrible scream cut through the redhead's own panic. She watched as the boy went to his knees and started pounding the earth over and over again, screaming something in Chinese. It took only moments before the boy had beaten his hands bloody from the force of the blows. Ranma-chan asked the guide what it was he was saying. The guide explained that the boy was shouting out he could never go home. That it was all over. There was nothing left. He was going to die.

Something inside Ranma-chan reached out to him. She walked over to the boy and placed her hand on the boy's fist as he drew it back. The boy stood up and spun in fury at the interruption, the rage still evident upon his face. Instead of panicking, Ranma-chan stood her ground and looked calmly at the youth. The rage in that face ebbed ever so slightly, leaving the boy standing there, breathing heavily. The words just seemed to flow from Ranma-chan's mouth.

"You can come with us."

Despite not understanding the words, the boy calmed down, as though understanding their intent, if not the meaning. He turned to the guide and ran off a different phrase in Chinese. The guide answered the boy, who, in turn, stared in confusion at the redhead. Then asked her something in Chinese. Ranma-chan looked to the guide for the translation.

"He say, 'why'?"

Ranma-chan looked up at the boy's face and answered. "Why not?"

It took but a moment for the guide to translate. The dark haired boy stared curiously at Ranma-chan. The look lasted for almost a minute before his shoulders slumped in defeat. He gave Ranma-chan a little smile, then said something to her. The guide translated once more.

"He say, 'Why not indeed'. I think that mean he accept."

This time the boy answered himself. "Yes."

The guide explained the situation with the curse to Ranma-chan as all three left Jusenkyou and went on the road. It was difficult, but Shampoo was able to speak very basic Japanese. It was good enough to communicate. As time passed the two dealt with their curses, each helping the other when things seemed miserable and hopeless. The first week was the worst. One didn't realize how much cold water one came into contact with everyday. Water was the enemy, and both learned to avoid it whenever they could. And then there was the shapeshifting. It was a new, and very unpleasant experience. There was nothing it could be compared to. But whenever it seemed hopeless and he thought he couldn't take it any more, Ranma could go to Shampoo. He knew she understood exactly what the curse meant, and in that knowledge some measure of peace was attained as the two comforted one another. Having someone to share the burden with made adjusting easier. Oh, so much easier.

Now he thought he understood why he never realized she was so beautiful. He was too caught up in the events that had happened at first to see anything other than the curse. Once things settled down she had already been there for so long she was part of the scenery. He had looked upon her as a friend as well as a crutch, not an object of desire. He never looked at her that way because he already understood what she was to him.

Until now.

Then the guilt settled in. He was a friend to her as well, now all of a sudden he was having...urges of a different kind towards her. He was certain she didn't see him that way. Besides, it was just wrong. She was a friend, nothing else. Perhaps he had spent too much time around Happosai, and was starting to see all women as objects instead of people. That was a scary thought.

It was in both their best interests that he leave, before she woke up and beat the snot out of him for coming into her room when she was asleep. Just as he heaved himself to his feet, he saw something glisten on her face. Daring to take a few steps closer, he managed to see what it was by the moonlight. A tear. His heart fell as he thought of her crying in her sleep. He couldn't stand to see women cry, even if he wasn't the cause. Then he heard her mumble something under her breath. He dared to lean closer, and caught what it was the second time she whispered it aloud.

"Ranma."

His heart sank yet again. She was dreaming of him, and it wasn't a pleasant dream either. It probably had to do with the argument they had on the ship earlier in the day. Something was going to have to be done and he was the one that would do it. His acting like an ass was causing her grief, and she had had more than a lifetime's worth already. It was a risky choice, and if he was wrong she would probably never forgive him, but he had to take the chance. She was too exhausted to be awakened. Shampoo had been on the move longer than him. She may have tried to hide it, but he could tell. He knew he couldn't leave her as she was, and it wasn't like anyone else would know. So he laid down next to her, making certain he was on top of the sheets so there was no doubt of what his intentions were, and gently cradled her head into his chest while he whispered softly in her ear, almost like a parent reassuring a child.

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. Please forgive me."

Almost immediately her soft voice quieted and she shifted closer to Ranma. He laid motionless, watching over her, making certain she had the measure of peace he was able to give her.

It was the standoff. Shampoo was in the baths again, knife poised at Mint's throat while Herb stood across from her, Ranma-chan in that neck breaking embrace.

"LET HIM GO, HERB!"

"Let me consider that for a moment." Herb stared at her, then smiled. He raised his head slightly up as she heard the sharp intake of his breath. He was going to nod his head and say something.

"No." It was over in an instant. He quickly jerked Ranma-chan's neck to the right as the body remained where it was. The snapping sound that the vertebrae made as the red head's eyes bulged left no doubt as to what happened.

"RANMAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Shampoo felt herself being restrained as she moved to save Ranma-chan. There was also something binding her arms as she fought her way free of the fabric and clawed her way through. It took a moment for her to realize that there was no bath any longer. And, more importantly, she had made it to Ranma. She grasped the side of his head and was delighted to hear him gasp in pain.

"You alive! Ranma, you alive!" she shouted through tears.

"Not for much longer if you keep trying to squeeze my head like an orange." He had sat up and struggled, trying to extricate himself from her grasp.

Her hands were removed from his head as she slid down to clutch him around the waist. Slowly, reality started to filter back in as she remembered exactly where she was, and who she was with. Her head buried itself into his chest as she kept moaning about him being alive.

"Yeah! I'm fine, you saved me," Ranma finally managed to get out. He mused that it must have been some nightmare for her to react that violently to it. It took several moments, but eventually she calmed down and relaxed in his embrace. The apology was going to have to be done now, before something else came up and she got angry with him for being here.

Shampoo was enjoying his embrace, unconcerned by why he was here. All that mattered was that he was with her. That was when she received another surprise.

Several moments passed before Ranma spoke again. "I think I know why you're so mad at me, and I don't blame you." He couldn't believe he had forgotten the obvious, again.

Shampoo raised her head from his chest and stared at him in confusion. "What you mean?"

"I didn't show up."

"You not show up for what?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth she understood what he meant.

"Meeting you the other day. Well, other week now. I kinda got sidetracked by other stuff and it slipped my mind. I know you probably hate me for doing that to you. I mean, you seemed so excited about it and I didn't show up, so whatever you wanted to do must have gotten ruined." He felt awkward doing that. He wasn't any good at apologizing.

"Y'know, it was the last thing that went through my mind before Herb hit me with that Breath chi thing back in Japan. I thought I was never gonna get a chance to apologize to you. I felt-" He stopped there. There was no confidence in him of remembering exactly what his emotions were at the time. They were strong, that much he could remember. Beyond that his memories were too jumbled.

Shampoo looked down into his chest again, specifically to avoid him catching sight of her eyes. She was doing everything she could do to keep her emotions in check, but she felt like allowing a deluge of tears of joy to let loose. She was the last thing on his mind. Not Akane. She was. He did care about her.

"Thank you," she whispered.

The two of them remained where they were, neither moving, happy with the situation. She had accepted his apology. Everything was all right.

Then Ranma noticed something. Specifically, something about Shampoo. In all the time he held her he had been concentrating on her face and eyes, gauging her reaction to what he was saying. Seeing if he could predict what her response was before she verbally said it, not to mention concentrating hard to come up with the right thing to say, which was why he hadn't paid attention to the rest of her. He felt something poking him in his lower abdomen, but both of Shampoo's hands were around his back. He looked down a little ways only to come to a very surprising conclusion. She wasn't wearing anything underneath the covers. He was being held by one very naked girl, and from where the faint poking was coming from, it could only mean one of two things. Either Shampoo was very cold or very excited.

Ranma's reaction was instantaneous. He released her from his own comforting embrace and tore himself out of hers, keeping his back to her as he sat on the edge of the bed. He made certain he was as far away from the girl as possible while he covered his eyes. "Y...You don't have any clothes on!"

Shampoo went from staring at his back in confusion to staring at herself. So what? She was nude. What difference did that make? Then it dawned on her. Ranma was easily embarrassed and hadn't even realized she was in a state of undress. So observant about some things, yet so blind about others.

"It not like I had time to pack nightclothes before coming to rescue you."

"I never thought of that. Could you put something on?" Part of his mind let him know he was going to have the same problem that she did.

She shifted closer to him and whispered softly in his ear. "I no mind."

He thought if she knew what was going through his mind she sure would. It was saying a lot that she trusted him enough to let him see her that way, but she couldn't have had any idea that he was having an improper...reaction to her. He finally spoke out loud. "I mind."

If Ranma had still been watching her he would have seen a look of frustration cross Shampoo's face as she silently began to wonder. Didn't he understand that she was offering herself to him? Almost any male would have jumped at the opportunity to be with her. She knew she was beautiful. As hard as Mousse had tried to drive any men away from her, many still braved him to try to be with her. And when she walked through Nerima as a girl, lots of them hit on her as well. D'Amore practically drooled every time she came into his vision. Ranma didn't have to worry about anyone finding out. Akane and the others were in Japan, Ryouga was probably lost in the hold, and Mousse was still tied up. They had the ship practically to themselves.

The look of frustration left her and was replaced by a small smile. There was something about Ranma's behavior that was reassuring. He treated her as a human being, not a sex object like the good captain and so many others had. As many flaws as Ranma had, he tended to treat people based on what they were, not what they looked like. That was a reason to rejoice. In school she had heard many of the girls complain about boys just using them for that sort of thing then ignoring them afterwards. Ranma would never be like that. So if he ever accepted her advances, there wouldn't be any concern if he was being sincere or not.

And she couldn't stay angry with him. He was safe, and he was with her now. That was more than she dared hope for at the start of the journey. So if Ranma wanted to take his time, that was acceptable. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was scare him off.

"Maybe I better go." Ranma started to get up.

Ranma was going to leave her. Shampoo's mind quickly tried to come up with something that would keep him with her. He didn't have to do anything with, or to, her, just so long as he remained. An idea finally came just as he was halfway to the door.

"Ranma. I need you to change my bandage."

Reflexively, he almost turned to look at the wound, then stopped before his eyes fell upon her. "But you still don't have any clothes."

She gave an inward sigh. He was such a prude. It was business, not pleasure, to change her wrap. "Shampoo could always let Mousse do it."

That got the reaction she wanted. He stiffened up in indignity at the inference, that Mousse doing it was preferable to him changing it. That, combined with the fact that Mousse was probably the only person in the world Ranma truly hated, and that was mostly because of the Nyanniichuan incident, would convince him to do it. In a weird way that made her feel good, that Ranma cared so much about her that he would hate someone that hurt her, emotionally if not physically.

Shampoo was incorrect, even that wasn't enough to relax him. "But you still don't got any clothes."

Now she was getting the urge to hit him. Enough was enough. "I can always turn you into girl-type. Then you no have to be embarrassed about seeing naked girl's body." It better not be HER body Ranma was embarrassed about.

"NO!" After being locked in his female form, turning into a girl was the last thing he wanted. "I'll do it. Just cover yourself up."

After a few moments Shampoo spoke up. "I decent."

Ranma turned and was left wondering what Shampoo's definition of indecent was. She was laying on her stomach, still unclothed and with her upper back upraised slightly because she was propped up on her elbows. The arms were positioned enough so that he couldn't actually see anything important, but in many ways the hint was almost as bad as seeing the actual thing. His eyes almost involuntarily tried to look around the hidden portions. The covers were gathered around the bottom of her waist, again just scarcely covering her lower features. If they had moved even an inch she would go from barely acceptable to scandalous. Given his current state of mind, her positioning was not conductive to relaxing him. Still, he had agreed to help her, and she was mostly covered up.

He sat back down and started to examine her. Curiously, Shampoo just looked forward and stared at her headboard while Ranma sat next to her. His eyes involuntarily gazed up and down her back. The muscles of her back accentuated her spine, and he suppressed the urge to run his finger along the length of it. He had no idea why he was suddenly afflicted with such a desire, it was an alien feeling to him. Part of him did wonder how she would react to the action.

Shampoo sensed, rather than felt, his hand hover over her back and make its way down to the base of her spine. She felt her heart step up in tempo. Was Ranma going to make a move? His hand was hovering over her rear end. All it would take was the slightest of movements for him to slip his fingers under those oh, so carefully placed sheets. The thought trailed off as she felt his hand fall on those sheets and...

Raise them so that they covered more of her up. Oh well. She would just have to move more slowly with him.

Ranma was surprised at the amount of effort it took to raise those sheets, but once they were raised he felt much more relaxed. Further thoughts along those lines were eradicated as he undid the bandage and saw her wound for the first time.

"Oh my..." he hissed, then took a much more angry tone. "Are you crazy?! Why didn't you tell me about this?! I would have helped you! I can't believe you were so stupid and didn't tell me..." he trailed off as he saw she had turned around to look at him, doing the worst thing imaginable. She had begun to cry.

"Ranma, please no shout. I just want to help you. I no mean to get hurt. I no want you to yell at me." She hated him for doing this to her. Kind and nice one minute, yelling at her that she was being stupid the next. She had no idea what was going through his mind and it was tearing her up. If only he would make up his mind on how he felt.

His emotions changed once again as he started apologizing. In truth, he was just as confused by the quick changes she was causing in him. "I won't shout. Just stop crying. Let me change that bandage."

She calmed down as he undid the old bandage and replaced it with new. Once he made certain it was a good wrap, he got up to leave.

"You no have to go. Please stay." Shampoo desperately wanted him to remain by her side. Once they got back to Japan things would go back to the way they were. This would be her only time to have him to herself.

"No." He shook his head sadly. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night." He went out the door and shut it softly behind him, leaving her alone in the dark.

She listened quietly as his hollow footsteps drifted off in the distance. She had silently hoped he would remain outside the door in hesitation, as though reluctant to leave, but he hadn't. His steps had been steady and sure as soon as he closed the door and left. No sleep was going to be had tonight. She had far too much to think about. Too many things to consider, thanks to Ranma's actions. Where did she stand in his eyes?

Ranma left Shampoo's cabin at a nice steady pace. He doubted he was going to get any sleep tonight. Something had just changed in his relationship with Shampoo, and he had to think about what that change was. He silently wondered where he stood in her eyes.

Mousse was finally able to let himself loose from his imprisonment. Imagine, treating him like some huge scarecrow for the crew. It was a surprise that Captain D'Amore could handle himself in a fight so well, though it had been pure luck that the captain had disabled him so easily. Tying him to the pole was a mistake. There was going to be a second encounter, and Mousse would not underestimate his opponent again.

D'Amore was secondary to the matter at hand. The best way to keep the captain away from Shampoo was to be with her. Now was his big chance. She had abandoned Ranma and there were no other suitors for her hand. Mousse was so proud of Shampoo. She had fought free of Saotome's influence and she could now choose him as her husband. No doubt the time they had together since escaping the fortress had a great deal to do with the reason she broke up with Ranma. Mousse was the only one who could love her the way she needed love. The curse was irrelevant to him. She was still Shampoo, the woman he had loved all his life. The only one for him. In a way, their passage in this boat would be like a honeymoon cruise.

His first stop was Ranma's cabin. He knew from personal experience that Ranma was stubborn as hell. Simply because Shampoo had given him the hidey-ho didn't mean Saotome would take it lying down. If anything, the bastard would probably try harder to win back her affections. Well, he would if it wasn't for Mousse. This time Ranma was going to receive a warning he couldn't ignore. And if he tried to, then Mousse would see to it there wouldn't be enough left to interest Shampoo in any case.

Mousse arrived at Ranma's door and knocked. Receiving no response he tried again, making sure to shout. Again no response. Since Mousse had no intention of allowing Ranma to cower from him in fear, he kicked open the door. There was a surprise inside the room. Not only was there no Ranma, but his bed hadn't been slept in.

Mousse checked his watch. Three A.M. There was no way Ranma could have not been in bed by now. He should have been as tired as the others. And if he hadn't slept in this bed, then he must have slept in...

"SAOTOME! YOU ENEMY OF WOMEN! PREPARE TO DIE!"

Mousse had calmed himself down by the time he arrived at Shampoo's room. He was being paranoid. Shampoo hated Ranma now. It was Mousse's turn to romance her. Besides, if he went in shouting and kicking the door down, and Ranma wasn't present, he would look like a fool. So he crept up to the door to see if he could hear anything. What he heard froze him in his tracks. It was Shampoo begging Ranma to stay. Ranma had spent the night with Shampoo.

Ranma had spent the night with HIS Shampoo!

Saotome was dead!

Mousse's mind went into overdrive. He couldn't kill Ranma, not right away. Somehow Saotome had slimed his way into Shampoo's heart once again, filling it with false promises of love no doubt. However, if he killed Ranma on the ship everything would point to him as the culprit. After the threats Shampoo had made against him, the one man in the world who had sacrificed everything for her and would continue to do so, she had made it abundantly clear what would happen if he were to kill Ranma. He would follow in Ranma's wake. So it would have to look like an accident. As annoying as it was, he would have to simply bide his time and wait for the right moment. There were a few tricks he had picked up from Kodachi that would help in situations like that. He would have to thank her when he got back to Japan.

All that went through his mind in an instant as he heard Ranma approach the door. He quickly ducked into an empty room and shut the door behind. Once he was certain Ranma was gone, he entered the hallway again and stood in front of Shampoo's door.

"Don't worry, Shampoo. Leave everything to me. We'll be together soon."

The next day was uneventful for all involved. Ranma saw Shampoo for a portion of the early morning, then they mutually departed. Each said they felt tired from the journey and needed more rest, but the truth was neither had gotten a bit of sleep after they parted company the night before. Ranma did have enough time to think about the events of the previous night. He had managed to come to one conclusion. There was nothing wrong with thinking one's female friends were attractive. For instance, Ukyou was cute. He even told her that to her face, which got him an embarrassed spatula blow to the head. Minami had her own sort of physical charm. It was her self righteousness which was annoying. Kasumi was appealing, in a motherly sort of way. Akane was, well she was Akane, which sort of fell into its own category. So there was nothing to worry about if he thought Shampoo was beautiful.

So it wasn't until the middle of the evening that Ranma stopped by Shampoo's cabin for dinner. When he opened the door he was more than a little surprised. Shampoo stood there wearing a long blue and peach dress that hugged her in all the right places. Once again he was taken aback by her beauty.

"Where'd you get the dress?" If she didn't have time to pack nightclothes she would not have taken the time to get a dress.

"It from D'Amore. He give it to me for dinner tonight. He say it used to belong to his aunt." She spun around for Ranma, displaying it for him.

Ranma was less than enthusiastic about the gift. "His 'aunt' sure looked good."

Shampoo gave a little jump for joy at that. "Aiya! Thank you very much!"

It took him a moment to realize why she was happy. She thought he was complimenting her instead of insinuating the captain's 'aunt' was nothing of the kind. Still, it was what he would consider a good misunderstanding. Something that never happened to him. All misunderstandings always went against him. His happiness at that soon switched to disappointment. He had wanted to ask her to spend some time together, but if she had plans with the 'dashing captain' there wasn't much chance of that. As he turned to leave she spoke up.

"What you want?"

He considered lying about it, but changed his mind. Why should he lie? He told her what he had come in for and finished up with, "...but since you got plans. I guess you aren't going to want t-"

"I love to spend time with you, Ranma."

He looked at her more closely. Judging by the smile she gave, she was accepting out of desire, not pity. It appeared she had taste after all.

The two of them leaped to the top of one of the roofs on the ship. The flat surface was similar to that of the roof of the dojo and gave them the privacy they desired, despite the chill in the air. The first half hour or so was spent talking about nothing. Just idle conversation. The duo lost interest in the discussion, and laid back so they could watch the stars in the night sky. The added effect of the boat's motion made it appear the stars were swaying to some unseen melody. Both could feel a sort of peacefulness at that moment, the first either had had in weeks.

"Ranma."

"Yeah?" he answered.

"Do you hate me?"

That left him a more than a little surprised. "What are you talking about?"

He heard her voice tense up a little. "You yell at me and call me stupid for saving you life. The first time you do it was when we still at dock before we set sail. Then you do it last night. So I ask you again. Do you hate me?"

"Of course not." He seriously did not want to go down this line of conversation.

"Then why you do what you do?"

He tried coming up with an answer, but all that came out was, "I, unhhh, I..."

That was all the evidence Shampoo needed. "You do hate me!"

"NO! It ain't like that!" This was terrible. She was going to force it out of him and he was going to screw the explanation up. He always did when he was with Akane. Why should this time be any different? "It's like this. I don't want to see you hurt. I like you a lot."

"I no want to see you get hurt either," Shampoo agreed.

"But it ain't right for you to risk your life because of me. And when you had to come to China to help me you got hurt."

Shampoo shook her head sadly. "Ranma, if I get hurt it because of who's trying to hurt you, not because of you."

"To me it's the same thing."

Her sorrow for Ranma's view of the world began to get to her. "If you really think that, then you the stupid one." She paused to try to explain what she meant before he misunderstood what she was trying to say. "You can't protect everyone around you Ranma. We all take risks for people we...like. If you feel guilty about everything that happen to everyone then you is never going to be happy."

"I can be happy. It's just," he paused, trying to come up with the right words. "When I was travelin' with Pop, there wasn't anyone around to care about. I was responsible for myself and no one else. No one could get hurt 'cause of stuff I did. But now I got people willing to help me if I need it. It's all kinda' overwhelming. But because of that I don't want to see anyone get hurt for my sake. I don't think I can handle it. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes. It means you a nice person that cares more about others than yourself," she answered softly. "And that why I help you. If you get into trouble I always going to help you. No matter what."

He rose up angrily at that. "That's exactly what I mean about being stupid! You just gotta say stuff like that, don't you? Do you know how bad that makes me feel? That you might get hurt doin' something stupid like this again?!"

"Would you help me if I get into trouble?" she asked.

"Of course!" Part of his mind alerted him to the fact he was about to lose the argument.

"Then I going to do the same for you. That's the way it work, Ranma. You can no change my mind no matter what. You is not the only one who stubborn." She hoped he was listening. "Do you remember when you promise to keep people from hurting me?"

"Yeah. So what?" He vaguely remembered saying words to that effect somewhere before. And he had tried to protect her whenever he could. Not that she ever wanted help.

She sighed in response. "You no understand me yet, Ranma."

"You got that right," he thought to himself.

"You make that promise and expect nothing in return. It not like Mousse, who make that promise to impress me and hope I let him become my husband," she continued. "Once I understand what you mean, then I make the same promise to you. I not go-"

He cut her off. "Don't say stuff like that! I don't want to feel-"

It was her turn to cut him off. "You no want to feel responsible for me. Shampoo got news for you, Ranma. You is no responsible for me. Shampoo is responsible for Shampoo. I do what I want, when I want. You can no stop me!"

Her tone became somewhat icy as she continued. "And if you try, you is going to have a bad day. You think because I a girl I can no defend myself. Don't try to deny it. You is a male chauvinist pig. That why you won't even hit girls. But I not a soft Japanese girl, Ranma. I an Amazon. One of these days we going to have real fight, not a spar. Then I show you what I can do. You is going to end up with a rude awakening."

"And there ain't nothing I can say that's going to change your mind?" He already knew the answer.

"No. You can no always get what you want, Ranma. You is not going to get this. Now, you can deal with it, or you can be a jerk and try resisting. But you going to lose in the end. I never going to rest until you treat me like an equal!"

"Fine."

"Maybe you no listen to what I say. I..." What he said began to process in her mind. "Did you just say, 'fine'?"

"Yep."

"You no try to fight it anymore?" That was a surprise. Maybe some kind of trick to catch her off guard.

"Nope."

It was Shampoo's turn to be speechless. Ranma had just given up. Ranma never gave up. A paradox.

While she sat there with her jaw open and tried to figure out how she had just won the argument, Ranma moved over and tapped her on the nose.

"Gotcha!"

He did the absolute worst thing that was possible next. He remained motionless as he smirked. While he did that, the sound of metal being torn asunder broke the peacefulness of the night. Even as the screech of tearing metal ended, Ranma continued to sit still. A moment later, Shampoo played the cymbals with the metal panels that she had ripped up in her grasp. The sound produced was not very harmonic, as Ranma's head was between the two pieces of metal that she had brought together.

Shampoo followed up her attack by moving behind the boy and grappling with him, locking her legs around his stomach while wrapping her arms around his neck. "I not being like Akane, Ranma. I do this to anyone who do what you did to me. You say you treat me as equal. Say it! SAY IT!"

Ranma decided to give in. Shampoo's strength was greater than he thought, and she was emphasizing her point quiet well. "All right. You win."

She relaxed her grip. Slightly. "You mean that?"

"Yes. I mean it. I meant it before too, but tapping you was too good an opportunity to let pass by," he choked out.

"That better." She released him altogether. "Ummm, is you okay?"

He shook his head once. "Yeah. The ringing in my ears is stopping." Ranma backed a good distance away, in case she got the urge to try to choke him out again.

"I sorry. Sometimes you is very irritating. I promise not to hit you." She then made an addendum in her thoughts. "Too much."

"Well, okay." Ranma became more serious. "There's one thing you gotta do though."

"Yes?"

"You gotta promise me you won't do anything stupid if I get into trouble."

He really was going to be a stickler on that. Of course, to Shampoo, there wasn't anything that could be regarded as 'stupid' when it came to helping him out. The concept of 'stupid' was pretty open to interpretation as well. Still, there was no reason why she should explain that to him. "Okay."

"You didn't fight that very much." He began to suspect she was holding something back.

"Is a reasonable request." One she wasn't going to try to make him give. He was the kind that would do anything to help out those in trouble. It was simply too difficult for him to accept that there were other people who would do the same thing for him.

"Right." He was only half convinced she was telling the truth, but without anything else to go on he couldn't accuse her of anything.

The two remained silent for a while, just looking at one another.

"How long do you think it'll take to get back home?" Ranma asked.

"D'Amore say two more days. Is you eager to go back?"

Ranma shrugged. "Sort of. I want to let everyone know we're all right. And I want to see Ak...er all the Tendos again."

Shampoo caught the slip of the tongue. It did nothing to brighten her mood.

"By the way," Ranma began. "How'd you pay for our passage on the ship?"

Shampoo gave him a nonchalant look, despite her mood. "Shampoo agree to give up body to the captain."

The reaction was instantaneous. "WHAT?! There ain't no way I'm gonna let him lay one hand on you. I'll kil..."

Shampoo erupted into laughter. "I just kidding, Ranma."

He calmed down almost as quickly as he had gotten angry. "That's a relief."

"I tell him he can have you body."

Ranma began chuckling. "That's pretty funny."

The serious stare Shampoo responded with gave Ranma pause in his amusement. "I not kidding. All you have to do to make him not want you is turn into boy-type in front of his eyes. Just hope he is no like Ai, and is no picky about who he likes."

"You're kidding, right?"

Shampoo didn't answer.

"I said, You are kidding, RIGHT?!"

Shampoo's demeanor switched as she gained a mischievous look to her eyes. "Is possibility."

Ranma finally realized she was kidding (she'd better have been), and began laughing alongside her. The laughter died down as he asked again. "So, seriously, how did you pay for it?"

He wasn't going to let it go, as she hoped. "I gave up one of my hairpieces in trade, but not Alain. Azusa was right. He really is prettier." She gave a weak smile at the little joke.

Ranma was more than a little shocked. "But you love those things! You said they're the last things you have to remember your family by."

She had to smile at the fact he had remembered their importance to her. It wasn't certain he would recall something like that. "We have to get to Japan quick."

"We could have walked back or something."

It really was unbelievable what he would come up with sometimes. "And have Herb chase us every step of the way? The way we all are?" She gave him a soft look. "Getting back home is more important to Shampoo than some silly hairpiece." The last declaration hurt. They really were important to her, but this was the only way to get Ranma to discontinue the line of thought he was taking.

Despite her insistence that they weren't important, Ranma could see the look of discomfort in her eyes. "I'll get it back for you someday. I promise."

Shampoo laid back and hid the smile from that promise. Who knew, he might even keep it.

"Things sure are a lot different from when we first arrived in Japan, aren't they?" Ranma asked.

"What you mean?"

"The guys we've been fighting lately. I mean, when we first arrived it was Kunou, crazed cheerleaders, and deranged directors we had to deal with. But ever since that old ghoul of yours tricked Ukyou and Ryouga, things have been getting worse. I mean Perfume, The Musk, it just keeps getting tougher and tougher."

Shampoo agreed. "We get tougher too. You just have to deal with what gets thrown you way."

"Well, if I gotta have someone to help me, I guess I'm glad it's you. Thanks."

Shampoo returned the smile. "I glad it's you helping me too."

Silence once again dominated, though this time the two stared at each other instead of the ocean. Ranma noticed a change in the way Shampoo was staring at him. Something in the eyes that suddenly made him very wary.

"Ranma, do you think my dress is nice?"

The way she ran her hand over the front of the dress as she asked did nothing to ease the somewhat conflicting feelings he still had over last night. In fact, he felt a return of them at almost double the force. The provocative method she was using made him wonder if perhaps that was the reaction she was hoping for. If so she was successful. He could feel the heat rising to his face and hoped she wouldn't notice in the dark. "Yes."

She raised herself on her hands and knees and commenced slinking her way over in almost a feline manner. The effect was especially similar in the motion of her shoulders, the way they swayed back and forth as she made her way closer to Ranma. That comparison brought an involuntary shudder. She approached close enough that Ranma felt her breath upon his face.

Shampoo kept her eyes locked on him the entire distance. How far could she go this time? They had seemed to patch things up and he was dealing with her on more even terms. She now understood why he was so emotional the night before. This night, she had come one step closer to understanding how Ranma's mind worked. Maybe she could get closer to seeing how other parts of him worked as well.

"Shampoo?" His voice was like a soft caress along her skin.

"Yes, Ranma." She strove to sound as seductive as possible. Anything to enhance the mood.

"Is that an iceberg?" He pointed over her shoulder.

One facefault later she made a mental note that another of Ranma's unique talents was the ability to spoil any mood at any given time. Her gaze reluctantly followed the path his finger indicated, and saw that there was indeed an iceberg floating past the starboard side of the ship. It was a good mile away, so there was no fear of TRPOS making like the Titanic. Not that they could be so fortunate.

"Aren't icebergs only supposed to be in the southern region of the Pacific Ocean?" he inquired.

"I think so." Geography was not one of Shampoo's strong points.

Ranma continued to appear confused. "So why are we going past one if we aren't supposed to be going anywhere near where they're supposed to be?"

Shampoo had no answer.

On the bridge one of the crewmen pointed out the appearance of the iceberg to D'Amore. He asked the same question that Ranma did. Unlike Ranma, he had an idea of what was happening.

"Did someone let Aki near the navigation control?"

The sailor that had been manning the bridge earlier in the night said yes.

"Why did you do that?" D'Amore asked.

The man looked somewhat confused. "She is the navigation officer, sir."

"So! You know she has no direction sense. She was missing on the ship for three days, wandering around trying to find her cabin." The captain continued his rant. "And that's not to mention the Cuban blockade we nearly ran. Kami only knows how she got us in the Atlantic Ocean." He turned to one of the other crewmen. "Find out what ocean we're in."

The next day:

Ryouga woke up to a splitting headache. Why he had it he couldn't begin to guess. Perhaps someone strapped some C-4 to his skull and set it off. At least that was what it felt like. From his prone position on his bed he examined his surroundings. Underneath him was a bed. That was good. And it was his cabin. He could tell by the pattern of mildew that decorated his ceiling. It reminded him of Ukyou's pork okonomiyaki.

Summoning every ounce of energy he had remaining, he forced himself to sit up. as he became fully upright his hand fell upon something on his bed. A leg. A further examination revealed it to be one of a pair of legs wearing blue pants. The rest of the figure was shrouded by the blankets which effectively covered everything above the waist. Time to find out who it was. Ryouga grabbed the sheet and slowly lifted it up. He got as far as the neck when he stopped. The figure was a girl. He knew this because the figure had breasts. Very nice breasts, not that Ryouga was any sort of judge about such things. He knew they were very nice breasts because the girl was quite topless, not even wearing a bra. The lost one did what came naturally. His hair stood on end and his nose began to bleed profusely.

Even as he turned his back to the figure he realized something very extraordinary was happening. He didn't feel like passing out. There wasn't even the faintest hint of lightheadedness, just the horrible headache which reasserted its presence as Ryouga attempted to think. Cognitive processes began as he endeavored to figure out that question so many people ask themselves the morning after a drinking binge. "Who's that sleeping in my bed?" Ryouga's mind made up a list of possibilities.

The facts known were:  
Female  
Wears blue pants  
Has nice breasts (probably)

As his mind came up with a list of potential candidates it stopped promptly on the first one it came to. No way! Not her! It was a mistake!

Ryouga slowly turned back to the still dozing figure. Revulsion overrode embarrassment as he carefully examined the girl, breasts and all. His hands slowly went back to the sheet as he made the strongest prayer of his life.

"By all the kami, if I am granted one wish and one wish only, please do not let her have red hair!"

Lacking the courage to do it all at once, Ryouga closed his eyes and threw back the covers. Slowly he opened his eyes and dared to glance down at the head. The first thing his eyes settled upon was a blue and black striped bandanna. With a sigh if relief, Ryouga fully took in the girl before him. Aki. With that out of the way his nose began to bleed more freely.

A knock on the door preluded a new arrival. "Hey, Ryouga!" Ranma called out.

The sound caused Aki to murmur.

"Ranma! Don't come in-" Ryouga was cut off as the door opened.

Ranma took one look at the room and stopped, stunned. Ryouga was in bed with a cute, topless girl. The girl sat up, smiled warmly, and waved at Ranma, either unaware or unconcerned with her state of undress.

"R...Ranma. It's not what you think." Ryouga's protests fell on deaf ears as Aki grabbed him from behind and pressed her body against him in a most friendly manner.

Ranma recovered enough to smile at the lost one. "You're a pretty fast mover. I was going to invite you for breakfast but..."

"He's going to have breakfast in bed," Aki said as she kissed Ryouga on the back of the neck. "He'll have plenty to eat."

"Why Ryouga Hibiki, shame on you. I guess I'll be seeing you for lunch. Maybe." Ryouga felt Aki release him and move away as Ranma departed with a wave and a smile.

Ryouga stared at the door for several moments, as though expecting Ranma would stick his head back in. Once he was certain Saotome wasn't coming back, he turned his attention to Aki. Much to his surprise the girl had grabbed a bed sheet and was attempting to cover herself up. If he didn't know any better, he would have sworn Aki was suddenly afraid of him.

"Y...Y...Your name is Hibiki?"

Ryouga scratched his head in confusion. "Yes, it is."

Aki appeared even more frightened. "Do you know a Jun Hibiki?"

It took a moment for Ryouga to place the name. "Yeah. That's the name of my aunt."

"That's the name of my mother," Aki barely managed to get out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Every aquatic animal in a five mile radius swam away as fast as they could from the horrible sound.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Mousse's glasses broke from the intensity of the scream.

"HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

D'Amore looked up from the papers he was reading. "Those two sure orgasm pretty hard."

The mutual scream subsided as the duo looked at each other in horror, identical looks of nausea on their faces.

"What happened last night?" Ryouga managed to get out.

"I came to your room with some bottles of wine. We drank a bit. Then started getting frisky." With an increase in disgust, Aki remembered getting Ryouga really drunk to get him to loosen up, and the two of them becoming very 'frisky' with one another afterwards.

"Anyway. You ended up on your back and I took off your shirt." She paused a moment to look at the tattered remains of his garment in the floor. "Then I took off mine." Hers was lying in one piece next to the remains. "I was-" She stopped and did some selective editing. "Then you called me Kyoko. I was willing to let it slide since you were really drunk, but then you got happier and called me Uk-chan. So I got pissed off and hit you. It took a moment to realize I hit you too hard and knocked you out, so I decided to get some shut eye. Then we woke up."

"Then we didn't, unhhh..." was all Ryouga could get out.

"NO! Thank the kami! We didn't. I'd keel over dead if I did something like that...cuz'." Aki was plenty disgusted with her conduct as it was. They had been behaving in a manner far too friendly for cousins. It was just her luck too. She finally found a guy that could physically withstand her affections, and it turned out he was related. Even a girlfriend or wife would have been better. Those could always be dumped, but there was no way around blood.

Ryouga turned around as Aki got dressed. "You know. You're the first family I've seen in probably four or five years."

"You can turn around now," Aki said as she finished dressing. "You got a bad direction sense too, huh?"

"You can say that again. How's Aunt Jun doing?"

"Well I haven't seen her in three years, but..." and the two relaxed and began to converse about anything other than the night's previous events, swearing each other to secrecy about their family relationship.

"I've figured out where we are, sir," Kawada told D'Amore from their position on the bridge.

"Where's that?" The captain asked.

"Somewhere in the southern Pacific Ocean."

Well that was a relief. Now all they had to do was sail north, and from there somehow find a landmass with people that could direct them to Japan.

"Island off the port side." One of the crewmen cried out.

Everyone looked to see a massive island off in the distance.

"I'm inclined to say, 'something that size couldn't possibly not be on the maps.' But I have no idea what map we're on," Kawada remarked.

D'Amore ignored him and gave the order to get closer to the island to see if anyone was there that knew where they were. As they got nearer they could see it was a bizarre landform. Huge, sheer, gray rock cliffs dominated it on every side, making it impossible to even look for, let alone get to the interior of the island. D'Amore was about to give up hope until he spotted an opening just large enough for the ship to enter. Once inside they saw an unexpected sight. Inside was a huge verdant tropical jungle, as far as the eye could see.

A loud, "RRRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAWWWWWW" emanated from the jungle.

"What was that?" Kawada quickly asked.

"Just the wind. Nothing to worry about." D'Amore assured him. "Let's make landfall."

It was only a promise made to his dying mother that prevented Kawada from attempting a mutiny then and there. The captain was going to get him into trouble. Again.

Ranma, Shampoo, Ryouga, and Aki looked at the jungle before them and sighed. It wasn't Japan. Which meant it was going to take that much longer to get home.

"I got a real bad feeling about this," Ranma remarked.

The sentiment was shared among the other three. Trouble was in the air again.

Two weeks later:

TRPOS finally arrived at its destination. Most people that saw it sail up to its berth would have thought the ship had been through hell, not realizing it always looked like that. The crew and passengers on the other hand, appeared to be in as good a shape as the ship itself. Clearly visible on the deck were the worn out looking Nerimans, Aki, and Brunt who watched the dock and waited for the moment that the gangplank would be lowered.

"Home at last," Ranma said. "Even the air smells better."

"Things are going to seem almost peaceful after that little trip," Ryouga remarked.

"That was a bit much, even for us," Aki said. "Not that the captain doesn't get us into trouble all the time. What was that place called again?"

"Pangea," Shampoo answered, then turned her attention to the small pterodactyl in the makeshift birdcage she held in her hand. "I think Kasumi going to like her new pet."

"Yeah. It was nice of you to get that for her," Ranma said and tapped the cage a bit, trying to get the tiny animal to react. He then shifted his attention to another companion. "Hey, Mousse. Happy to be back?"

"Yes." Mousse tried to give a sincere smile as he noted the manner in which Ranma said that. Looking into his eyes, Mousse was certain that Saotome at least suspected he was behind the two murder attempts on his life. He silently cursed his ill luck. The dinosaur stampede may have been a clumsy undertaking, but tricking Ranma into the Veliciraptor hunting grounds was a stroke of sheer genius. He still didn't know how Ranma survived the attempt. As badly slashed as he was, it was pure luck Shampoo found him before he bled to death. The only thing Mousse had going for him was that there was no way to pin either of the two attempts on him. He covered his tracks too well.

Ryouga was having his own conversation with Aki. "I'll never be able to watch 'Jurassic Park' again and be impressed."

"Yeah." Aki mirrored the remark. "Being chased by a real T-Rex is a lot more frightening than watching it at the movies."

"It was nice meeting you." Ryouga began to get a sorrowful look in his eyes. "You're welcome to stay with me if you like. I'm sure Ukyou wouldn't mind taking on another waitress."

Aki shook her head. "No. My life is on this ship. I like the sea too much. Besides, it's harder to get really lost on a ship than it is on dry land. I don't suppose you've ever wanted a life at sea?" He shook his head, making Aki feel a little depressed as well. "It was nice meeting you Ryouga." She held out her hand for a shake.

Ryouga accepted it and returned the sentiment.

"Aw, c'mon! Aren't you two going to kiss goodbye?" Brunt finally asked.

Brunt received two savage uppercuts which sent him very far away.

Mousse separated from the others, allowing Ranma and Shampoo to drop Ryouga off with Ukyou. The two had enough class to leave the two of them alone, as Ukyou had run over and hugged Ryouga in an embrace that would have made Aki proud.

The two let themselves into the Tendo household and decided to surprise everyone by just casually shouting they were home. Akane was the first to run to the entryway. As soon as she saw the duo she stopped several feet short of them. After a moment, Ranma closed the distance between them and held her in a light embrace, much to her surprise and Shampoo's annoyance.

Ranma released her. "Sorry. I guess I missed you more than I realized."

"It's okay," Akane blushed in response. "I kind of missed you too."

Shampoo's annoyance didn't last long as she was nearly tackled in a hug by Kasumi, which was a shock to everyone present. Shampoo had to smile in return. It was nice to feel wanted. Kasumi quickly composed herself as she went with a more proper greeting, making certain everyone was all right then asking what had happened.

The two bone weary travelers sat down with everyone and explained all that had happened, deliberately glossing over the dangerous parts. Like the torture Ranma suffered at Herb's hands or the injury to Shampoo, and the near disembowelment at the claws of the raptors was ignored altogether. He would explain the two crisscrossing scars that went across his chest to his father in private. There was no reason to worry the others over what had already happened. What was done was done.

After the exhaustive interrogation, the pair called it quits, Ranma leaving the room a little before Shampoo. Once she finished talking to Kasumi she made a deliberate detour to Ranma's room. Just as she arrived in front of it she heard him loudly exclaim. "Oh, man! I forgot. I ain't got no clothes!"

Shampoo blushed at that particular statement. It was too late to pick up any clothes for him tonight, so any shopping would have to wait for the next day. With a reluctant sigh she prepared to enter the sleeping chamber and apologize for her behavior when she remembered one very important fact. Quickly, she rushed to her room and grabbed the shirt that had remained on the dressmakers dummy. Praise be she hadn't destroyed it on an impulse. A quick scan of the room revealed a pair of pants Shampoo had specifically gotten for her male form. Even more luck, they hadn't even been taken out of the package. She grabbed the clothing and made her way back to Ranma, who was sitting on his floor with a depressed look on his face. Shampoo was hoping to change that.

"Ranma, I made clothes for you. Was supposed to be a gift because of how nice you treat me." She held the clothes out expectantly, hoping he would accept the present.

"Ah! You shouldn't have done it." He smiled, then gave her a bit of a disapproving glare. "Of course, you shouldn't have destroyed all my clothes either."

"Sorry," That was said more or less to placate him. He had stood her up after all, and Amazon vengeance could take many forms.

Ranma waved it off. "We'll call it even. I'll see how it fits." He began to remove his shirt when he noticed he still had an audience. "I could use some privacy here."

The response was not the one he was looking for as Shampoo put her hands on her hips. "I want to see you try it on." And admire his body.

He physically grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her out the door. "I'll show you as soon as I'm done. Out!"

He shut the door behind her, then slumped against the wall. If she was going to behave like that she was going to get him into trouble. It didn't take much imagination to figure out what Akane's response would be if she saw him topless and Shampoo standing close by. They were going to have to show more restraint than when they were on that long journey home. He pulled off his old shirt and placed the new one on.

Shampoo grew anxious with each passing moment. Ranma was taking too long. She wanted to see if he liked the shirt. Worry began to blossom within her. What if he didn't like it?

The gentle rapping on the door was answered by a soft, "Enter." Once inside, she saw that Ranma had indeed tried the garment on and was stroking it, almost as though he was afraid it wasn't real. It was exactly as she pictured it in her mind. A perfect fit.

He finally acknowledged her presence. "I can't believe the feel of this material. What's this stuff made of?"

A gentle smile rose to Shampoo's lips.

"Dreams."

Epilogue

Kodachi was concerned with Mousse. After a very unemotional greeting he went directly to his room and locked himself in. A savage disappointment to The Black Rose. She had wanted to greet her beloved in a manner fitting for the one that won her heart. Instead, he was squirreled away doing who knew what.

She decided she could tolerate it no more, and used her master key to unlock the door. As she entered the room she saw Mousse hunched over his desk, writing so intently that he didn't even realize she had entered the room. Kodachi gazed over his shoulder, noticing he was in the process of writing something in Chinese.

"What are you writing, dearest?"

Kodachi was a little frightened by the intensity in those eyes behind the glasses. Mousse appeared a little...crazed, for lack of a better term.

"It's a challenge letter. If I can't kill Saotome, I'll challenge Shampoo to another marriage duel. Our last one was cut short so she can't refuse. And this time..."

Kodachi saw his body tense up as he said the next statement. And the way he said it made her doubt his words not in the least.

"...this time it's for real."

China:  
Joketsuzoku:

Be Dea paused in thought with two of her fellow elders. Talcum and Shou Ya.

"So what do you make of that little 'revelation'?" Talcum asked.

"I think that's exactly the sort of thing Herb would pull to cause dissension in our ranks," Be Dea answered."Especially with the rumors we've heard of him building an army. The idea that Shampoo is cursed by Nanniichuan is preposterous. Still, some action must be taken."

Shou Ya arched an eyebrow at that. "I'm pleased to hear that you aren't letting your rivalry with Cologne affect your judgment. But what do you mean by taking action?"

Be Dea scowled a bit as she thought of what she was about to say. Events had gone the way she wanted for quite a while, but all good things must come to an end. "We need the matriarch back. She's been gone too long and we need her advise on many things. Including what to do about Herb and his attempt at troublemaking." Then she added one more comment. "And we can ask her about Shampoo directly. I don't believe it, of course, but I want to hear it from the matriarch's own mouth."

"Who do we send?" Talcum asked.

"Silk's one of Cologne's oldest friends. If she's the one doing the asking, Cologne will come." Be Dea said. "Besides, she's been to Japan before. Lived there two years as I recall. She knows her way around."

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Special Thanks to:

Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Gary Kleppe  
Dr. Wade Tritschler  
Kevin R Wible

and George Lucas for coming up with a scene for me to parody.


	21. Blind Love; Black Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mousse decides to have it out with Shampoo while another Ranma puts in an appearance.

Prelude

Tajamata Nital looked down the mountain to the valley below. The fog was doing a fair job of obscuring his view, but through holes in the white mist he could just make out poles that stood high above what appeared to be pools of water. It was difficult to be certain as the mists continued to flow with the air, changing what was visible from one moment to the next. There was nothing more to be done upon the path he currently trod. He had seen enough to know what he sought was below him, and no map was needed to find it.

The mists parted as Taj was able to fully make out the valley and all its majestic glory upon arrival at the base. So far to travel on foot, to this land far north of his home, but he had to know the answer to the mystery. This place called to him during his meditations at home in India, and he had journeyed to unlock the enigma. What sort of place, what sort of being, had drawn him here? Hopefully all the solutions would be revealed in short order.

From where he stood, Taj could make out a young girl and an odd looking gentleman in the garb of a Chinese official of some kind talking to one another. It was time to seek answers.

The Jusenkyou Guide watched sadly as the Japanese girl departed. Why someone as pretty as her would want to change themselves into something like that was beyond his understanding. Why anyone would want to visit the springs at all was beyond him as well. The whole area was dangerous, yet so many visited the springs anyway. And no one ever listened to him. At least this girl knew what she was getting into, having sought out a specific pool and voluntarily immersing herself into it. Hers was now a tragic story, unrelated to the springs, which he could use to warn others about. As the guide sadly shook his head he noticed a man coming towards him. A traveler of some sort judging by his raiment and the long staff he used to help along his way.

"Greetings honored sir. Welcome to the magical training grounds of Jusenkyou." The Guide greeted, his cheery exterior contradicting the sadness he felt within.

The man brought out a book from one of his pouches and began speaking in broken tones of Chinese. "I come here, seek for have-"

"[Do you speak Hindi?]" The Guide asked.

"[Why, yes. I do.]"

The Guide gave the newcomer his widest smile. "[Excellent! My Hindi is pretty good. Allow me to explain to you what Jusenkyou is and why you should avoid it.]"

Taj listened intently to the Guide's instructions, absorbing everything he could. As the Guide finished, Taj made certain he understood the information. "[This place is very dangerous. Thank you for warning me of its dangers. Unfortunately, I must stay here until I resolve the mystery of what drew me here, even if it means risking exposure to the waters. You have gone above and beyond your duty in so carefully warning me of this place.]"

The Guide shook Taj's hand and walked back to his hut. At least this traveler had listened to the warning and appreciated the Guide. So few visitors did either one.

Taj threaded a careful path through the cursed springs. It was a roundabout trail he took, but his body came no closer than five feet to any of the pools. Once he found what he believed was the center of Jusenkyou he stopped and crossed his legs. Nightfall was about to descend and he was in just the right frame of mind to leave his body and allow his astral body to start its fantastic voyage.

Taj crossed his legs and initiated his breathing exercises. The old master had taught him everything, allowing Taj to absorb as much as he could. Everything began with breathing. If one never forgot that basic fundamental principle, then one could go on to attain Nirvana. Perhaps. Taj was nowhere near that level of attainment, but he was satisfied with the progress he had made in the last ten years. One day he would reach the plateau, but until that time he could engage in other, more mundane things, like learning what the unusual thing within the land here was.

Five years ago Taj had stumbled on the ability to travel outside the body. Others called it astral travel, which was as good a name as any. At first he thought himself unworthy of the gift. None of his teachers ever spoke of such abilities, but he was reassured that he would never have been granted the capability of such a thing if he were not deserving. It was a gift which he should use to explore the world, and in so doing, discover what purpose he was given for the application of the power. How he loved to travel along the astral plane. It was like flying in one's body while still being able to see the outside world. He could not affect the physical world while trekking in such a manner, but he could see it. And his senses broadened tremendously when in that state. He wandered near and far, searching for that one thing that might explain why he had received the gift.

It was during one of the travels that he sensed it, an unusual source of something. Nothing more clear than that could be gained without being physically closer to the source. He could not be certain what it was, other than an anomaly that had caught his attention. It was so small as to be hidden from all but the most intense scrutiny, and in truth he had stumbled on it as well. But whatever it was, it had no similarity to anything he had experienced before. It begged to be investigated.

So he set off, walking as quickly as he could with all the money he could scrounge up and borrow from others. It was a difficult task since so many made pilgrimages to far off lands, and this one was of a personal nature as well. Still, he had just enough money to support himself in simple means as he walked the hundreds of miles to his destination. Every night he meditated and tried to understand what it was he had discovered, but it remained beyond his abilities to decipher. It was almost as though something was trying to hide it from the world.

Now at last he was at the source, and it didn't matter how much the thing was disguised, Taj would pierce the illusion. It took almost two full hours for him to attain the level of relaxation to release his astral form from his body. Just another indicator of how anxious he was. Peace came in time, and with it the release from his physical body. Taj paused a moment to gaze down at his physical form. It would be safe until the return of the spirit. The springs would provide a natural form of protection for him.

He allowed his heightened senses to reach out and explore the world around him. Even though he was on top of the source it was still unbelievably difficult to find. There must have been some kind of natural barrier blocking the source in order to be right next to it and still remain unknown. Taj stretched out again and found what he was looking for, the faintest of trails that led underground. The springs must have had something to do with it. Perhaps they behaved like some kind of natural masking device. At any rate he went below the ground. There it was more difficult to sense things, but he could still feel it. Closer and closer he drew, until he felt the source and all its glory. He had at last found the origin of his enigma. There was a reservoir of some kind beneath Jusenkyou. It was not the source of the cursed springs, that was elsewhere. No this was something that connected to all the pools in a different way. The connection was not physical, it dealt on an altogether different level of existence. Some metaphysical one.

It took a moment to realize what the reservoir was. He had seen a display of it once when a martial artist had visited the temple and displayed his powers. It was chi energy. But what was the storage container of energy doing in the middle of Jusenkyou? Was it a natural by-product of the springs, or something else entirely? A more thorough investigation was called for. He followed several of the connections back to their respective pools. All of them went one way, from the pool to the reservoir, never the reverse. Taj was about to assume it was some kind of natural runoff when he felt it. It was ever so faint that he was almost certain he was merely feeling some kind of illusion. But he traveled closer and fully sensed it. A weak link located at the bottom of that massive amount of chi. One small tendril that led away from the source instead of to it.

Taj did what came naturally and followed the faint tendril downward even further, so very far beneath the earth. The closer he got to the end of the tendril the more he suspected it was being masked. No easy task that was, to hide something even at that close range. It must have been something important to mask it even on the astral plane. Further and further he journeyed until he located it, the thing the tendril was connected to. It wasn't like the chi pool, it was a physical thing connected in a metaphysical way. It was huge. It was vast. It was unlike anything Taj had ever sensed.

It sensed Taj as well. And in that moment, when he touched the thing and it touched him, Taj was given the briefest glimpse of what it truly was.

And he ran in an astral sense of the word.

As quickly as he could, he journeyed back to his body. He had to get away. Get away from the monstrous thing that was located far beneath the springs.

The EVIL thing that was there.

He could feel a black stain on his soul from that brief moment of contact, but whatever consequences that would bring were secondary to fleeing from the thing here. It didn't matter if he never attained Nirvana now. His life's dream no longer meant a damn thing to him. Flight was all that mattered. No longer was eternal peace a goal, just an avoidance of eternal damnation. For as he let his astral form hurry back to its body, he discovered something worse than touching the thing that was there.

It was chasing him.

It felt like an eternity for that astral body of his to return to the physical body. If he didn't reach the body before the thing did, then his soul would wander eternally without a form. He would be consigned to existence without a body, and he would still be vulnerable to the hellish thing.

He felt his body before him. It remained where it was, unaffected. He could escape after all. The astral form of Tajamata Nital reentered the physical world and its original body. His spirit gave a sigh of relief as his eyes focused back on the real world. Then he knew fear again.

There was a seeming black cloud before him, almost smoke-like, save for the burning red ovals in the middle of the formless fog. Taj knew what they were in an instant. The Eyes of Death.

It said one word before it acted.

"MINE!"

The Jusenkyou Guide sat up from his cot. For a moment he could have sworn he heard someone shout something. He followed his first instinct and checked on his daughter, Plum. One glance told him she was still fast asleep. No chance it was her. Perhaps it was the nice gentlemen who had gone out in the springs. It probably wouldn't be wise for the Guide to go out there in the dark, but he had to take the chance. He had learned to navigate Jusenkyou blindfolded, that was a test all guides had to go through, but despite that there was always some offhand chance that an accident might happen. Cautiously he threw on a coat over his pajamas and grabbed a lantern.

He walked unerringly where he had seen Taj sit down and begin his meditation so many hours ago. As he held the lantern high to check on the visitor, the Guide was treated to an astonishing sight. There was no longer a man sitting in the middle of Jusenkyou. Nothing but a steaming pile of bleach white bones with a skull sitting on top was all that remained. The worst thing about it was not that the man was evidently dead, and somehow the guide knew this was no prank, it was that horrible skull. He had seen skulls before, all of them looked the same, just white pieces of bone that sat there like some decoration for Halloween. All but this one. This one was different. This one was unique. This one was an abomination that should not exist. Somehow, the bone itself was remade into a terrifying image of tortuous anguish which should not have been able to be attained by anything man could do. A skull that bore a chalk white expression of pain every bit as evident as if it was flesh.

The Guide ran as fast as his legs could carry him back to his house, the cursed pools be damned. There were things more terrifying than being turned into a mongoose, and the Guide had just laid eyes upon one of them.

Be Dea walked outside into the night air of Joketsuzoku. Something had awakened her, but she was uncertain what it was. All she knew was that it came from the north, and the nearest thing there was Jusenkyou. It was a surprise that her grandson, Fleece, was present already.

"What brings you out here at this time of night, oh Degenerate One?" He asked.

Be Dea answered by smashing him into the wall of the hut with her walking stick.

"I meant to say 'venerable', not 'degenerate'. Sorry about that." Fleece managed to croak as he pried himself out of the wall.

"The same thing that brings you out, no doubt."

The tone of voice Be Dea employed was the signal for Fleece to take things seriously. They both knew Fleece was a horrible warrior, but a magnificent sensitive. Well, sensitive to everything but his wife's needs, which was why he was staying at his grandmother's hut.

"Then you felt it too." Fleece was making a statement, not asking a question. He watched his grandmother gaze to the north. To Fleece there was just barely a faint blue haze above Jusenkyou, too faint for anyone other than himself to sense. The effect was unlike anything he had ever seen, and somehow it was terrifying. Words came unbidden to his lips.

"What was that you said?" Be Dea just caught something her grandson had mumbled under his breath.

"It was a phrase I read in one of the books those British Tourists left here. I said 'By the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes'."

Be Dea rubbed her chin in thought. "Yes. That feels...right."

End Prelude

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 21

Blind Love, Black Poison

Any C+C appreciated.  
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at

or you can email me at sommer

Standard disclaimer:  
I disclaim I own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters. They belong to the Goddess Takahashi and those she sold the rights to.

An Alternate Universe.  
What's gone on before (or what you need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the beginning the Saotome's traveled to Jusenkyou to train. The started to spar, not realizing that Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female. Shampoo-kun= male Enjoy). Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with the Saotomes and briefly ended up engaged to Kasumi. Once that was cleared up, Ranma became engaged to Akane. In the early days many things happened in the lives of everyone. Many battles fought and many friends made.(You're going to want to read the early chapters to fully understand what's going on by now.) Last chapter, Ranma and Shampoo came to something of an understanding in their relationship, and Shampoo has decided to pursue Ranma once again. However, she is not the only one after a heart as Mousse has decided to try to take Shampoo in a marriage duel once again...

Indicates Chinese  
I'll be using the 'Chinese' version of names for characters refeered to using Chinese. Ex. Mousse is now Mu-Tze. Shampoo is Shan-Pu. Etc..

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Kensuki was in an unpleasant mood. The boy had given him the slip once again. The third time in as many days. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn the target had eyes in the back of his head. But if Kensuki knew nothing else in the world, skulking was still his specialty.

The boss was going to be pissed as hell. She could be such a pain to those that didn't live up to her expectations. True, Nabiki still had that information she was blackmailing him with, but he sometimes wondered if it was really worth it. One day the boss was going to end up involved in something over her head, then she would see who her real friends were. Kensuki would have been willing to bet not too many would show up. It would serve her right, the manipulative bitch.

His reverie was broken when he felt himself lifted into the air by the back of the collar. He managed to swivel his neck around to see who the person was. Bad news. The predator had just become the prey.

"I thought I saw someone following me." The smile Tarou gave did nothing to ease Kensuki's spirits. "And people say I'm paranoid."

The would be spy tried to head off what he knew was coming. "I'll tell you everythin-" He was cut off by Tarou.

"Now, now. That's no fair. I don't want you to tell me just yet. I want to get the information by beating the living shit out of you." Tarou gave his trademark little snicker as he drew back his fist. Beating information out of people was more reliable than just letting them spill their guts. Less likely to lie that way. And it was fun too.

The handsome young man and beautiful young woman stood in the middle of the park, admiring the children playing with one another. The girl gazed forlornly at the youths as they screamed and shouted amongst one another, producing the tangled mix of fun and confusion only children can obtain.

"Husband, how long do you think it will be before we will have some children of our own?"

The youth gave his wife a sad look. "I must discover the secret techniques of the other half of my school and restore my dojo. Only then will I know peace and be able to settle down and have children." He had given her that answer a hundred times, yet he remained patient. He loved her, and would withstand the question a thousand times if need be until he could give her the answer she sought.

She breathed a little sigh. She too, had already known the answer to the question, but it was a hope against hope that he would have a different response this time. She realized her husband was driven, but she truly had wished her presence would fill the void his lack of knowledge had given him. Her gaze was about to return to the children when she suddenly discovered herself lifted up by a handsome youth on a pair of roller skates.

Mikado gave the young lady a smile which shone with a light of its own. "Pardon me, but your lips appeared lonely to me. Perhaps you would like to have mine accompany them?"

She could have escaped Mikado's grasp using her own abilities, but her husband was present and he should do those things required of spouses, like saving their loved ones. "Ranma! Save me!"

Mikado literally stopped on a dime. "Ranma? Where? Where?" He didn't envy the chance to run into the man who had helped give the Golden Pair their one and only defeat. It was a surprise when he saw someone that looked nothing like Ranma charge at him.

"You aren't Ran-" was all he managed to get out before the boy connected with several strikes from his fingers, dropping Mikado like a rock while the skater released his hold on the girl.

'Ranma' managed to catch his wife in mid-air before she could hit the ground. "Why didn't you escape on your own?" The tone in his voice was that of concern, as though he believed there might be something wrong with his wife.

"Because I wanted you to save me. Now accept your reward." And with that Kaori Daikoku Saotome kissed the lips of her husband.

It was time to make her move. Shampoo listened intently for Ranma from outside the hall. He had begun to draw the water not more than three minutes ago and left it running while he took care of some other matter. Now Shampoo had her chance. She slipped inside the room and removed her robe, tossing it to the side of the bath where it joined some other towels on the floor. Steam was quickly filling the room, making visibility hard. All the easier to spring the ambush on her prey. Once she slipped inside the tub and hid almost entirely underwater, Ranma would never know she was there, at least until it was too late to do anything about it. The thought of having Ranma alone in the confines of the bath was just too alluring to give up. The only thing Shampoo feared at that point was that the two of them would make too much noise once things got started.

Shampoo hid under the water when she heard the door open. The steam in the room would make it difficult to spot her until Ranma was right on top of her, and then, of course, it would be too late. After several moments, she saw his form come into her line of sight through the water and place one foot into the tub. Then she made her move.

Kasumi smiled as she thought of how gracious Ranma was. He didn't have to let her use the bath first, but he was being generous and insisted she could have the water that was already there since she had planned to go shopping for groceries in a little while. She slid open the door and closed it behind her. It was going to be great to just relax in the warm water. She already had a feel for it, as heated as the room was. There was a great deal of steam from the running water already, making it practically like a sauna. Perhaps she could go to a hot spring resort sometime. She had been to one before and enjoyed it immensely. It wouldn't do to go alone, perhaps Shampoo and the others would want to go along. Sort of a small vacation.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she placed one foot in the bath.

"Aiya!" Shampoo cried out as she jumped out of the water and tackled the figure in an inescapable glomp, burying her head between Ranma's breasts and rubbing her head up and...

Ranma's breasts? After he had stepped into the warm water? That wasn't right. Shampoo detached herself to look into the eyes of one very surprised Kasumi.

Kasumi's surprise lasted only a moment as she realized it was only Shampoo that had attached herself to her chest. "Ummm, Shampoo. Is this some unusual Chinese custom for greeting people in baths?"

Shampoo quickly darted away to the far end of the tub in embarrassment. "I just happy to see you," she said as she quickly recovered, wondering what had gone wrong and how she had missed Ranma.

Rather than stay and continue to feel embarrassed around Kasumi, Shampoo started to leave. It was a surprise when she felt Kasumi's hand upon her shoulder. "You don't have to go. I don't mind sharing the bath."

Shampoo couldn't come up with anything that sounded remotely like a plausible excuse for leaving. Besides, she wasn't awkward with sharing a bath with a woman. She agreed to stay as each girl moved to opposite sides of the tub, enjoying the luxurious soak.

"Did you know Dr. Tofu is finally dating?" Kasumi asked.

"No." Kasumi was keeping tabs on the good doctor? That brought forth an unusual feeling in Shampoo.

"His mother set it up," Kasumi informed her. "She's the winner of the All Japan Pelvic Contest. And she's coming out with a music record soon."

"Are you sorry you and he aren't..." Shampoo trailed off.

"Oh no!" Kasumi shook her head vigorously. "I'm just glad for him. He's really a nice man and I think he's pretty happy now."

"Oh," Shampoo sounded satisfied with the answer, then changed the subject. "What you thinking about serving tonight?"

"I hadn't decided yet," Kasumi shrugged. "Did you want to make something special?"

"I was thinking of a special seasoned Peking style duck for dinner." A smile formed as she recalled the last time she had it, when she still lived in the village It had been far too long since she last ate it. "There a secret family recipe in making it. I show you how to use it."

"You don't have to do that," Kasumi said as she shook her head. "It wouldn't be a family secret if you told me."

"You're closer to me than any of my real family ever was."

Kasumi blushed at the compliment. No one had ever told her anything like that before. "Thank you."

"You is welcome." Shampoo's face scrunched up a bit. "Have you gotten any CD's for that player that Extor-" she stopped as she corrected extortionist girl to, "-Nabiki got for you?" It had been a surprise when Shampoo heard that Nabiki had spontaneously purchased a gift for another human being and had no ulterior motive. Still, if there was anyone that you couldn't have an ulterior motive with, it was Kasumi.

"No. I really don't have the time to listen to such things."

That was as close to a lie as Shampoo had ever heard from the eldest Tendo. Kasumi had no doubt told that to herself to convince her that she didn't want to get it. It was a portable player that she could listen to while she did things around the house. That was one of the reasons Nabiki had gotten in the first place, so she could use it while she did housework. If there was any one flaw with Kasumi, it was that she was selfless to a fault. "What sort of music you like?"

It wasn't a surprise when Kasumi ran off a list of easy listening tunes. It would have been difficult to believe acid rock was Kasumi's style, but one never knew. Shampoo made a mental note of some of the titles her friend ran off. There was some money the Amazon had squirreled away for emergency use, and even though it wasn't an emergency, it would be money well spent. She could pick up a few of them when they went shopping later on.

"Thanks again for 'Birdy'. He's wonderful." Kasumi really did love her pet pterodactyl, even if Nabiki didn't care for the name, or the animal. Kasumi hadn't had a pet since she was a little girl, and she had to get rid of it when it turned out Nabiki had an allergy to hamsters. Fortunately she hadn't developed an allergy to Birdy.

"I thought you would like him."

The two relaxed a while longer until the water started to lose its heat. With mutual reluctant sighs they exited the tub, and went to don their robes when Kasumi spotted the head of the sprayer sitting on the floor. "I'll get it."

Shampoo spotted it as well. "No need. I closer." Shampoo went to put it back on its holder.

Kasumi rushed forward to get it rather than letting Shampoo hassle herself with placing it back. She managed to place her hand on the sprayer right before the Amazon did. However, in her rush, she accidentally squeezed the handle on it, causing water to spray on both of them. The water was turned to cold.

Kasumi turned to apologize for accidentally getting Shampoo wet when she realized something else had happened. The Amazon was staring at her. A very male, somewhat annoyed, and totally naked Shampoo-kun. Kasumi quickly blushed at the situation, then inadvertently turned her gaze downward and noticed something else about him.

"Oh my! That is rather large, isn't it?"

"Kasumi!" Shampoo-kun blushed rather furiously himself. "You should no look at me that way."

Before the two of them could take any further action they heard someone speak outside the door and begin to enter. "Hey, Kasumi!" Nabiki opened the door and took two steps into the bathroom. "Ranma wants to know when you're going to be..." Her voice trailed off as she fully took in the scene, eyes widening as she saw one very naked sister next to one very naked Shampoo-kun. "...done. Ah...I'll tell him you're going to need another twenty minutes. I assume you two will be finished by then." And with that she turned, exited the bath, then closed the door behind her, taking enough time to place a nearby 'Do Not Disturb' sign on it.

The couple that remained in the bath stared at where Nabiki had stood a moment ago, then looked to one another.

Kasumi spoke first. "I wonder why she was behaving so oddly."

Shampoo-kun shook his head. "I explain what really going on later."

Shampoo-kun made his way back to the still warm waters of the bath. Kasumi looked at the ground as long as she could, then darted a glance at his form a moment before he changed back. She burned the image of his perfect body into her mind with no small degree of guilt. He was just so damn handsome that she couldn't help it. If Shampoo-kun caught her staring, she hoped the Amazon would understand.

If Shampoo noticed, she said nothing. All she did was give a sheepish grin as the two of the cleaned up their mess and headed to their rooms to change.

Ranma wasn't concerned with grabbing a bath any more. He had something else on his mind. Some information had just come his way that Akane had neglected to inform him of upon his return. That omission made him somewhat...upset. With a sure step he went to confront Akane in her room.

Akane heard the knock and told Ranma to enter. All it took was one look at Ranma's face to know there was a problem. She allowed him to save her the trouble of interrogating him by permitting him to speak first.

"Pop and Mr. Tendo told me something very interesting. Want to know what it is?"

Akane rolled her eyes. The two fathers never failed to screw everything up. "I can't wait to hear it myself."

"You were dating someone while I was kidnapped." He waited to see what response she would give. His belief was it would be outright denial instead of evasiveness. He got the first.

"I don't believe those two!" she said through gritted teeth. "I was not dating him. We were only training together."

"That's what I thought. Who would wanna date you anyway?"

Akane probably would have let that pass if he hadn't smirked in addition to the insult. But he just had to press his luck. "For your information-"

He cut her off as the other thing she had said caught his ear. "What do you mean by training with him?"

Akane shrugged nonchalantly. "Martial arts training of course."

"You mean you have a new trainer?" Ranma appeared totally shocked. "What's wrong with me?"

Akane wasn't sure if she should be insulted by his behavior or not. He wasn't really angry at her for training, just at the idea he had been dumped. "In case you didn't notice, you weren't here."

"You could have waited!" His tone became even more indignant.

"For what? Hell to freeze over?" She was becoming irate with him now. He had been on his best behavior since his return, and Akane appreciated it, but now he was reverting to his old self. "I had no idea when you were coming back. I couldn't let my training slide just because you took a vacation."

Ranma was beginning to regret not informing her of exactly what Herb had done. She was taking the whole incident as some sort of holiday away from home when nothing could be further from the truth. Still, she shouldn't have taken instruction from someone else. " There isn't anyone around here that's as good as me. Now I gotta start retraining you so you don't get sloppy using the stuff he 'taught' you."

Akane was beginning to regret not informing him of her pit-fighting experience. He was treating her like a novice that didn't know any better. She had become a very improved martial artist that could be taken seriously now, as Ranma would find out the next time they sparred. "I don't need retraining and I'll show you. After I go for my next session."

"You're still going to meet this guy?" He looked at her in surprise. "But I'm back now."

"Why should I stop just because you're back?" She couldn't wait to hear the response.

"Because I'm going to start training you again. You don't need someone else to do it. He'll just teach you a bunch of junk you ain't never gonna use anyway." Ranma thought for a moment then continued. "Why don't I go along to meet this 'trainer'."

It took a great deal of self control for her not to tell him that she learned as much about martial arts in the few weeks she had with Tarou as she had with Ranma since he first came to Nerima. And that she now had more practical knowledge of fighting than anything Ranma had done with her.

It took Akane a moment to realize it wasn't going to be possible to train with Tarou and Ranma at the same time. Ranma wouldn't stand for it and Tarou would most likely be no better. The few times she tried talking about Ranma with him he would just sneer in open contempt, one of the few things she really disliked about him. So she avoided mentioning Ranma's name around him altogether. Once Ranma laid eyes upon Tarou the two would fight, and that really was the last thing she wanted to happen. One of them could end up hurt, and given the size of their respective egos, that was probably a foregone conclusion. Some excuse had to be thought of in a hurry. "You can't go!"

Ranma's eyebrow shot up. "Why?"

"Because it's the last session." Cutting off the training was the only way to keep the two from meeting. Doing that would be painful though. Training with Tarou was a lot better than training with Ranma or his father. He pushed her to excel beyond what the Saotomes ever did. Nonetheless, she had to make a choice between the two, and it wasn't like she could just give Ranma a cold shoulder in training her. He would never forgive her of that.

"So?" Ranma still didn't get the message.

Akane sighed. "Since it's the last one I want to enjoy it without distractions. Like you."

"And since when did I become a distraction?"

"I know you, Ranma. You'll pick a fight with him to find out who's better and my last session will be ruined. So I'm forbidding you from following me."

The two argued for a half-hour until she finally got him to promise not to go, tail or follow her in any way shape or form. He could be as bad as Nabiki about getting around promises if he wanted to do something. So it was with a heavy foot that she went to her last training session with Tarou, while Ranma walked off to Ukyou's.

Mousse had awakened in the earliest hours of the morning. It should have been a simple matter of getting up, to prepare for what he was going to have to do today, but he found himself reluctant to do anything other than stare at the ceiling and think about the future. Was what he was doing right? Perhaps not, but it was necessary. The voyage back from China proved that. Shampoo would never leave Ranma voluntarily. So it fell to Mousse to protect her from the dangers she placed herself in. The dangers of home. The dangers that plagued Ranma. And the most dangerous of all, Saotome himself.

At last he discovered the resolve to set off and face the world. He donned his robes and the wide array of weapons at his disposal. His eyes examined the room as he prepared to set forth. Soon he would be leaving Japan, and all this, behind him. Kodachi had offered him anything and everything he wanted, but there was little in the way of accommodations he desired. His family was never wealthy and his nature was such that he lacked the desire to live in luxury. He did want Shampoo to live that way though. She deserved it.

He would miss the greenhouse. There was a certain peacefulness in tending the oversized garden and all of its denizens. The Ranma Eating Plant was his favorite. Greenery with character, so to speak. It seemed to like him as well, though the thing was the finickiest eater he had ever encountered. It was a wonder it had survived in the wilds at all with the preferences it had.

Of all the things he would miss, he supposed the thing he would long for the most was Kodachi. Despite her faults she could be a very nice person. She just had a unique perspective of the world, and she had always done right by him. If only it were an ideal world and Kodachi and Shampoo would get along. Then he would be totally content. But that would never happen. Kodachi wanted Mousse and Mousse wanted Shampoo. No way around it, and there was no way he could have both, like he wanted. No. A choice had to be made, and Shampoo would always win that contest.

Always.

He exited his bedroom and promptly tripped over something in the doorway. Both he and it made an audible "wuffs" as each hit the floor. A quick adjustment of the glasses as he got to his feet revealed what it was. "Kodachi?"

Kodachi returned to her feet as well, then bowed before Mousse. "I am prepared, darling."

Mousse could just make out she was wearing some kind of formal Kimono. "What's the occasion?"

"Our wedding."

He had missed something. Kodachi was not enthusiastic about his preparation to challenge Shampoo, and had not taken the discovery well. Had he somehow driven her over the edge, or was she starting to take her own chemicals? "WE'RE not getting married. I"M getting married, to Shampoo."

"Don't be absurd darling." Kodachi would have none of that. "She doesn't want to marry you and I do. Even if you could beat her, Ranma would never allow you to challenge her. The two of them belong together and you belong with me. Everyone would be happy that way."

Not everyone. Mousse began to shake in fury as he thought about Saotome and Shampoo together. If there had been more time, he would have made Ranma pay for his crimes. But that was not part of the plan. Revenge would just get in the way. Shampoo was all that mattered now.

"No. I'm sorry, Kodachi." He crouched down and rested his hand on her shoulder. "You're beautiful and intelligent and...have an unusual view of the world. You will make someone a wonderful wife someday. But not me. Now and forever my heart belongs to Shampoo."

As he went to leave, Kodachi sprang up and cut off his avenue of escape. "I hate to say it, but sometimes brother dear is right. You are blind. Allow me to tell you exactly what will happen. You will challenge that purple haired harridan and lose, no matter the outcome of the fight. I might not be able to tolerate her presence, but I can tell you that she is a willful and stubborn peasant. As difficult as I find it to believe, she does not want you. And if you try to force yourself on her, no good will come of it and you will both be miserable. Whereas I, on the other hand, love you. and you love me."

"No," Mousse shook his head. "I don't. I do like you but it's not love."

Kodachi grasped his hand in hers. "Yes. You do. I remember that night in Hawaii."

"You drugged me," he protested.

"Not like that," she sadly shook her head. "I have told you what I gave you was a mild aphrodisiac. At the most it would have made you want to hold and kiss me. Not rip off my clothing and take me the way you did. The only reason you would have done that is if you wanted to."

Mousse shook his head furiously. "N...no. No! It wasn't like that."

The Black Rose went from simply grasping his hand to sliding her body next to his. "You did not do something so simple as make love to me," she whispered in his ear. "You ravaged me, body and soul. If I did not love you before that night, I certainly did after. You say you do not love me, yet you took me and made me yours. It was not Shampoo's name you called out that night, but mine.

"You are no womanizer. Perhaps you are afraid of what future you might have with me, or perhaps you do not wish to let go of the past. That does not matter. You made me yours because you do desire me. Protest it all you want, but I will never believe it, and neither will you."

He did believe it, but there wasn't time to change her mind. "I'm sorry Kodachi, I have to go." It was surprisingly difficult, but he managed to ease her body away from him and turned to go. Once again she blocked his path.

"I cannot let you do this," she said, using all the dignity one of her class could muster.

Mousse recognized the look in her eye. They had spent too much time together for him not to remember it. She was preparing to attack.

She raised a bouquet of trademark black roses from within the confines of her kimono and thrust them where Mousse had been a split second before. He came up with a sword from within his robes and sliced the drugged flowers in half. Rather than follow up, he backed off.

"You really do love me, don't you Kodi-chan?"

The Black Rose could scarcely believe it, he had called her by that pet name she had tried to get him to use. "Yes."

"I'm sorry for my ignorance. Let me embrace you." He held his arms open for her to approach. It was with a sigh she fell into the embrace.

He allowed his left hand to stroke her face. "Forgive me." And with that he brought out a black bouquet of his own from his sleeve and thrust some of her own knockout gas into her face.

The result was predictable as she passed out in his arms. Even Kodachi was not totally immune to the effects of the paralyzing agent. Gently he placed her in his bed and raised the covers around her. She looked so peaceful, lying there. Still, his course of action was clear. The drug would gain the time he needed to deliver his challenge before Kodachi attempted to interfere again.

Mousse took his time as he headed to the Tendo Dojo. He decided to think of the past. He still remembered the day Shampoo had become his purple haired goddess. It was when they were six. The two had grown up next door to one another, each living at their parents' houses. It was only natural that they spent time together as childhood playmates. There were many times one would go to the other's house and ask the other one to come out and play.

On that important day, Mousse had gotten his hands on some candy from his mother. Both he and Shampoo had terrible sweet tooth's. It was only a couple minutes later when he sneaked over to Shampoo's house and knocked on her window. She quickly answered, saw what he had, and squealed in delight as the two headed out together.

They ran off to their special place in the middle of one of the heavily forested areas near the village. Others would come to the fallen tree next to the small pond, but not many. So the two of them identified it as 'their' place. They settled in, sitting down and stuffing their faces on the entire stash of candy. After they were finished Shampoo spoke up.

"I love you, Mu-Tse."

And then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. She told him goodbye and walked off, leaving him to touch the place where his lips had touched his face. That was a startling new development. He wasn't even certain of how he felt about her. It took the better part of an hour before he reached his conclusion. He did love her. And so his goddess was born.

The next day, when he met Shampoo, he called out and professed his love for her. Unfortunately it was really a pig he had given his undying love to. Shampoo reacted by kicking him in the mud and shouting out, "I hate you!" then ran off. But he knew better. She meant the words she said the day before, not what she said that day.

So he ran into Shampoo the next day and professed his love once more, this time to a statue. She responded by saying, "Stupid, blind Mu-Tse." and just ran off, abandoning him. He tried to tell her he loved her, but he kept doing it to the wrong things. Eventually he decided to skip a day of proclamations since he hadn't had a chance to play with Shampoo since the day of her own confession, and he missed their fooling around.

He knocked on her window again and waited for her to answer it. She arrived and he asked if she wanted to play.

"You aren't going to tell me you love me?" she asked.

"Do you want me to?" He practically jumped up and down in hope.

"No!"

He shrugged, it could wait another day. So the two of them set off to have some fun. Professing his love to Shampoo went on the back burner for almost a week before he tried doing it again. She reacted by tossing him into a tree and running off. The process repeated itself for months. He would tell her he loved her about once a week and she would react negatively to it in some way.

Then things changed. Shampoo moved to the far side of the village to live with her great grandmother. She wasn't so far away that he couldn't visit her, but it wasn't as easy as slipping away for a few minutes and walking next door to talk to her. He went from visiting her every day to only seeing her three or four times a week.

After that it got even worse. Cologne started training and teaching Shampoo, which took up the majority of her time. When he asked if he could train with her, she just laughed and said it was special Amazon training, and since he was a male he couldn't learn it. To make matters worse, his own parents began to give him more chores to do, saying he was old enough to help. The times he could see his goddess became fewer and farther apart. He missed her so much he would always shout out he loved her whenever he met her. Each time the result was the same. "I don't like you!" It got to a point where he began to give up hope.

Then his purple haired goddess saved him. He hadn't bothered to learn any martial arts like so many of his peers had. There didn't seem to be much point with his vision as poor as it was. He would never be much good at it, or so he thought. With his sight as bad as it was many of the children picked on him for it. Then, when he was nine, three kids that were a little older started tormenting him on a regular basis. They made fun of his vision, not that it bothered him since most people had done it all his life. But there came a day they insulted Shampoo. They had gone too far. No one could insult Shampoo in his presence and get away with it.

He tried to fight them, force them to take back what they said. He would be the hero who would save Shampoo's honor and drag those villains through the mud. It didn't happen the way he dreamed though. The trio were stronger and each was far better than him. His glasses were knocked from his face early on and moments later they had him on the ground and started to beat on him. Hard. He probably would have sustained serious injuries if the trio hadn't stopped. One moment they were kicking him around on the ground then they halted. Mousse couldn't tell why they had, but the sounds of fighting continued even after the blows stopped raining on him. The sounds of fighting became cries of agony, then changed to the sounds of running feet.

Pain made it difficult for him to move, but he tried. He felt hands help turn him over so he could make out some purple before his face. The Goddess had rescued him. He reached out and felt what he thought were tears streaming down that face. "Are you crying?"

"Don't be stupid! It's just sweat!" Shampoo shot back, but he knew better. Her voice carried no anger, and caught when she had answered him. She did care for him. She still loved him.

She helped him to is feet and practically had to drag him as they made their way back to his home. "How do you feel?" she asked.

"I feel wonderful. I always feel wonderful when you're around."

Surprisingly, she didn't reproach him for his words, just his actions. "Stupid Mu-Tse! What were you doing fighting those guys? You know they're all better than you.

Mousse smiled once again. Every time she spoke it let him know she cared. "They insulted you. I couldn't let them besmirch you honor."

"You're as stupid as you are blind." She may have been chastising him, but her words carried none of the force that was usually in them. "I can defend my own honor."

He didn't want her to have to do that. He could do it. He wanted to be the one that could rescue her from danger just like she had to him. "Don't worry. I'm going to train hard and become so strong you'll never have to protect me again."

"Whatever, Mu-Tse," she answered in a tired voice.

"I mean it! In fact, I'll get so good I'll protect you. You won't ever have to worry about anyone endangering you again."

"I don't worry about it now," she scoffed.

Mousse didn't want to leave it at that, he had to tell her. "You'll see. You'll respect me. Then we can-"

"If all you're going to do is talk, I'm going to leave you here!"

Mousse judged Shampoo probably had had enough and let it drop. He only thanked her once more, then allowed himself to be taken home. His parents determined there wasn't anything wrong that a few days of bed rest wouldn't fix. About two days later he overheard his parents talk about Shampoo getting into trouble for really beating up three kids. That brought a smile to his lips, she really did care despite her protests, just as he always knew.

While he was resting he discussed training to his parents. Due to his vision problem ,they elected to allow him to train with an eccentric martial artist named Master Hace, whose odd fighting style might overcome Mousse's deficiency. Hace was a Japanese male that lived in a nearby village. Mousse was more than a little afraid, as much for the fact it would mean he's be away from Shampoo for even longer periods of time as well as having never done anything like train before in his life. However, he remembered the vow he made to Shampoo and steeled himself for what awaited him.

Master Hace had been informed of the arrangement and said he wanted to meet Mousse for himself. Upon arriving he looked Mousse over for about a minute and nodded his head. He told Mousse's parents the boy was on probation and that he would need Mousse exclusively at his home. He would allow Mousse to return to the village when he was ready to let him go. The parents agreed (a little too readily for Mousse's taste) and allowed Mousse to live with his new master. Master Hace told him the training would be unusual and not to ask any questions. He then promptly told Mousse to get a bucket and bring water from a well.

That was the beginning of the odd regimen that followed. Master Hace didn't teach Mousse any martial arts. He simply made him do chores. For three weeks he lived life as a servant, waiting hand and foot for Master Lee until he could take it no more.

"When are you going to teach me some martial arts?!" He used the Japanese Master Hace had forced him to learn. Mousse had gotten pretty good at it since his mentor would not answer him unless he asked properly.

Master Hace gave him a broad grin and announced the true training could now begin that he asked the question. That really angered Mousse, and he demanded just what Master Hace meant by that. The old man explained that it was to test the desire of a pupil by forcing him to do manual labor until his patience wore off and he asked the question that he was not supposed to ask. The longer the pupil would wait, the more desire he had. The minimum waiting period was one week. Mousse had surpassed that and showed the master just how much resolve he possessed.

The next two weeks were spent informing Mousse how to use the secrets of the hidden weapon. It was complex variety of techniques that enabled one to contain more mass than was supposed to be possible in a given amount of space. The equivalent of using a one gallon container to hold two gallons of water. Getting around the physical laws of the universe was no easy task, and Mousse didn't so much understand what he was doing as opposed to following the techniques he was taught. Master Hace told him not to try to understand it. With understanding came a loss of the ability to use the technique. So Mousse remained ignorant while learning the style of martial arts.

Mousse was eager to learn everything he could, and went home only about twice a week. Every time he went home he would be certain to visit Shampoo and let her know he still loved her, for which she would call him stupid, blind, or just ignore him in general. It really did break his heart to know she was so angry with him being absent for so long, but it was the only way he could learn. If Shampoo had been around he would never have been able to concentrate and learn how to master the hidden weapon. There was one almost bright moment. When he first showed off his new techniques to Shampoo, she sounded impressed. Unfortunately, he was so excited by her reaction that when he threw another set of his chains one went wild and accidentally severed a tree branch, which fell on Shampoo's head and stunned her. As she recovered she looked at him in surprise, then hate, cursing him for trying to beat her and marry her, never mind the fact she was too young and he hadn't challenged her. She reasserted her superiority by bashing him in the head and saying she never wanted to see him again.

Common sense overrode instinct as he elected to avoid her for close to a month after the incident, hoping she would have cooled off. It worked reasonably well, she tolerated his presence without much complaint and they got along fairly well. After a little over a year of training with Master Hace, Mousse started to get an understanding for chi attacks. His mentor had tried to teach him it for over a month. On more than one occasion Mousse almost gave up ever learning the Soaring Eagle Strike, but Master Hace would encourage him, constantly praising him that he was the best student he ever had. Mousse was confident he had almost mastered the technique when his mentor died. His heart broke when that happened. The man had been like a second father.

Mousse moved back to the village a new man. The next time he was picked on, he defended himself with ease. Soon everyone knew of his newly gained abilities in full. His relationship with Shampoo remained the same for some time after that, though she did go out of her way to be nice to him when she saw how depressed he was over Master Hace's death.

It was about a year later when he started hearing things. Troublesome things. Some of the youths in the village started commenting on Shampoo, talking about how cute she was and how they wouldn't mind dating her. Mousse would have none of that. It only took a few weeks for him to convince almost all of the would-be suitors they'd be better off pursuing other girls. Occasionally some would try to be sneaky and see her behind his back, but he would always smell them out and use a little more persuasion to get them to see the error of their ways. Sure, some of them claimed they just wanted to talk to her, but he knew what they really meant, and he would have none of that. It was his and Shampoo's fate to be together. He just had to wait a few more years until she was old enough and came to realize that.

It was peculiar, she didn't seem to see things the way he did. After a while he became certain he knew what part of the problem was, Cologne. The old bag never liked him and was no doubt poisoning Shampoo's mind against him. Another obstacle to overcome, but he would never lose hope. He would hear those words pass from her lips once again.

"I love you."

It would just take time. When she turned fifteen, the age when females were considered 'eligible' for marriage, he offered his first formal challenge to her, which she accepted. He really did want to try hard, but somehow he just couldn't bring himself to go all out. He lost to her fairly easily. In truth, he really wanted her to say she loved him and forgo the fight altogether, it would look bad for her to marry without him defeating her at least once to prove his merit, but it would be worth it since they would have each other. Any time he attempted to talk her into possibly throwing a fight she would strike him rather hard and call him stupid, using more ice in her tone then usual. He didn't know what to do. Then an idea came to him.

Shampoo was at least as skilled as him in hand to hand, maybe even better, but his speed and agility were greater than hers. He had to try to best her on a ground where his greater dexterity would come into play. Jusenkyou. The problem with getting her to fight there was that Cologne would figure out what he was doing and try to get Shampoo to choose a different battleground. So Mousse waited until the old ghoul left for several days, then sent a challenge letter to Shampoo. That turned out to be a mistake as well.

But now things were different. He had to save Shampoo. Her life was in mortal danger thanks to Ranma twisting her around his finger. Her badly kept secret was going to be discovered by an Amazon eventually. Cologne and Perfume both knew where she was and it was only a matter of time before she would be captured and put to death. Shampoo had to leave, and if she wouldn't do it voluntarily, Mousse would make her do it. And if he made her his wife in the process, it was all the better.

Sayuri and Malia continued staring at the handsome man that had caught their eye. It wasn't too difficult since he was a handsome fellow that would attract every woman's eye. A fact they had noticed as more than one woman paused to stare at him. What he was doing in the department store was a mystery since he didn't seem to be shopping.

"He's dreamy," Sayuri sighed. "I'd love to get to know him better."

"He's got to be a better man than that twit, Daisuke," Malia agreed. "He's no Ranma though. All men suffer compared to that handsome piece of work."

"Actually," A voice piped up behind them. "He is a Ranma. Though I do find the idea that there's someone that puts my husband's looks to shame interesting."

The girl turned around, flush with embarrassment. They saw the speaker was a beautiful girl no older than the two of them. At least the girl didn't seem angry with the duo's commentary.

"Sorry," Sayuri said while bowing, then noticed her partner just smiling sheepishly. Sayuri grabbed her by the back of the head and forced Malia to bow as well. "We're both sorry for saying such things about your husband."

Kaori gave a dismissive gesture and smiled warmly. "If I had a ten yen piece for every time someone said that about him, my family fortune would be double what it is today. In other words, you have nothing to apologize about. Good day." And with that she left the duo and walked over to her husband, Ranma.

As the schoolgirls turned to leave they heard one of the salespeople shout out to "Mrs. Saotome." The name sparked the girls' curiosity and they turned to see who the lady was. It was a shock to see the salesperson hand a receipt to the girl they had just spoken to. The girl who said that Ranma was her husband. The pair looked at one another, then turned to leave. Akane just had to hear that little tidbit of information.

Nabiki now understood why her father always seemed to smoke a cigarette when he became concerned about family matters, those that didn't involve crying anyway. She really had the urge to light one up and puff away, assuming she smoked, which she didn't. Not much point in paying for lung cancer as she saw it.

Nabiki paused to look over at the pterodactyl in its cage.

"What kind of a name is 'Birdy' anyway? 'Ugly's' more like it."

Judging by the glare she received, Nabiki wondered once again if the creature understood her. That was absurd, of course. Birdy had a brain the size of a peanut.

At least Kasumi had fed her new "pet" before she left. There were very few things that could unnerve the middle Tendo, but that vicious little predator was one of them. When Kasumi first received it from Shampoo she had taken an instant liking to the creature, going on about how cute it was, as though anything with that kind of ugly mug could be considered pretty. Kasumi immediately fed it strips of raw meat, the little creature snapping them down like there was no tomorrow much to her sister's delight. From that moment on the little bugger bonded to its new owner. Nabiki had briefly mentioned they could probably sell the little thing for a ton of money, but the horrified reaction Kasumi gave made it fairly certain her older sister would sooner sell HER for money than the new pet. The creature absolutely adored Kasumi, and seemed to behave itself around everyone but Nabiki. She even tried feeding it once, but the little dinosaur just stared at her with those almost intelligent eyes. If she didn't know any better, she would have sworn it resented her for trying to sell it. Ranma had made some crack about how it sensed she was a fellow predator and probably resented her close proximity.

Nabiki closed her eyes and listened to the tell tale footsteps of someone approaching. Opening her eyes revealed Shampoo just entering the room, alone as Nabiki had asked. Nabiki had flagged her down and asked to speak with her, woman to woman, before she went shopping with Kasumi. The request was simple, except for the fact she wanted the discussion in private, meaning she should let Kasumi go on ahead and catch up to her later.

Shampoo sat across from Nabiki with an expectant expression. It was a relief from the usual glare Nabiki received from the Amazon, not that it was unjustified. Nabiki would be the first to admit she used Shampoo, but the Amazon had to earn her keep some way. Some cash was made off Ranma, but Genma was nothing more than a money pit. Oh, but Shampoo was the real money maker here. Nabiki's net worth had gone up ten times with the arrival of the Amazon. The calendar escapade was the best scheme yet. She had sold almost two copies to every student at Furinkan, and once word got around a lot of students from other schools joined in the sales. Making out like a bandit always gave Nabiki a smile on her face.

The matter at hand was something else altogether. This was family, which meant money took a backseat to it until some more information was obtained, and Shampoo was just the one to supply it to her. Not only that, but Nabiki was the only one that could realistically deal with the matter. Her father would probably go into crying mode and Akane would go ballistic. No, Nabiki was the only one that could be relied upon to deal with what had to be discussed.

"Shampoo," Nabiki began. "I need to know something, and I want nothing but the truth."

"All right."

Nabiki was relieved to note Shampoo had a serious expression on her face. Good. It wouldn't do to have a cavalier attitude about what she was going to ask. "Shampoo. What exactly are your intentions with my sister?"

Shampoo gave a soft exhale of breath before explaining. "We is not having an affair. We is just good friends."

Nabiki examined her face closely. Shampoo was better at hiding things than the middle Tendo would have guessed. She could be engaged in such an action now. It was time to switch tactics slightly. "Look, I try to keep an open mind, and regardless of what you might think of me, I am concerned about my sister's welfare. If the two of you are doing something, or do something in the future, I personally don't have a problem with it."

Shampoo looked more than a little startled at that particular revelation. "You don't!"

"Nope," Nabiki said. "Kasumi's been a lot happier than I've seen her in a long time, and you have a lot to do with it. She used to be a lot more...," she paused for a moment, searching for the right word. "...out there, but she's a lot more aware now. There are still moments, like that incredibly stupid name for her new pet, but overall she's a lot better. And it all started when she got that temporary engagement to you."

"We didn't do anything when we was engaged," Shampoo tried to explain, but Nabiki staved her off by holding up a hand.

"I know. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm trying to tell you is that you've been good for her, and I noticed you care for her as well." Nabiki watched on with an amused grin as Shampoo turned a bit red. "I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Not intentionally anyway. That's not what I'm worried about. It's how everyone else would react if you two decided to become...closer."

The way Nabiki said that word left no doubt to what she meant. "We is not that close."

"Not yet," Nabiki supplied. "But you have gotten a lot closer since you first arrived, and let's face facts. If anyone other than me caught that little scene in the bathroom, you'd be either dead or married." Actually, Ranma may have kept his mouth shut, but anyone else would have gone through the roof.

"I not that type of girl," Shampoo realized there wasn't the kind of force behind the statement that would have been there a couple months ago.

"Which is why you were standing at attention?"

It took Shampoo a moment to understand the insinuation. "That just a normal reflex when I a boy-type. I was not planning on doing anything with Kasumi."

Nabiki watched her turn a brighter shade of red. "I'm sure it is, and I'm sure you weren't. I'm not trying to cast judgment on you or tell you what you should do. All I'm saying is you have to be cautious in your relationship with her. If you aren't careful, there may end up being a lot of hard feelings for all involved. And I don't want to see anyone hurt."

Shampoo let the statement settle in then nodded her head in understanding. "If our relationship changes, I'll be careful."

"Good. And if anything should happen, and I'm not implying anything should happen," Nabiki quickly added. "you can come to me for help. Free of charge."

That was as close as generosity came with Nabiki. In Shampoo's eyes, the girl now stood a bit higher than she had.

Shampoo got up to leave when Nabiki caught her attention once more. "One other thing."

"Yes?" Shampoo asked.

"Have you ever considered doing nudes? As a guy I mean. We can make a fortune and I'll give you thirty percent." Nabiki looked on in hope.

"No."

"Fifty?"

"No!" Shampoo shook her head. Some things never changed.

Ukyou continued cooking at her grill. Something was up with Ryouga. He had asked for the day off and was sitting nervously at one of the tables. Now that Ukyou thought about it, he had been acting strange since his return. After what he went through that really wasn't a surprise. When he had finished telling her everything that happened he swore her to secrecy. Apparently Ranma and Shampoo had decided not to mention what had happened to the others for fear of worrying them. Ukyou was more than a little flattered that Ryouga did tell her the truth. On the other hand, Ryouga's nervousness was starting to put Ukyou on edge. It was almost as though he was waiting for something, or someone.

It turned out to be someone as Kyoko burst through the entryway to Uk-Chan's and jumped all over Ryouga. The chef had to suppress the urge to throw a dozen mini spatulas in the couple's direction.

Ryouga pried off Kyoko and began to stutter nervously. "K...Kyoko, there's something I want to ask you."

"Yes," she said as she looked at him expectantly.

"W...would you like to g...go out on a d...d...d..."

"Dental appointment?" she asked innocently.

"D...d...d..."

"Dumpster tipping spree?"

"D...d...d..."

"Danish fishing expedition?"

A head popped out from one of the tables. "DATE! DATE! DATE YOU AIRHEADED BIMBO! HOW THE HELL DID YOU COME UP WITH DANISH FISHING EXPEDITION?!"

"Tsubasa!" Ryouga growled menacingly as he cracked his knuckles. "How dare you impersonate one of Ukyou's tables!" And with that he grabbed Tsubasa-table and punched him outside and far away.

"I'll get you for that one Hibikiiii!" he shouted as he trailed off into the distance.

Kyoko took no notice of any of those unimportant events. Her ears were for one word only. "Date, Ryouga-kun? Were you trying to say date?"

Ryouga's anger turned to bashfulness as he put his hand behind his head and laughed nervously. "Yes. I guess I was."

"I accept!" She hurled herself at Ryouga, spun him around a few times, then grabbed his arm and dragged the embarrassed boy out into the street.

Ukyou just stared at the doorway. Ryouga had just asked Kyoko on an actual date. He had even almost gotten the words out on his own. All that was left in her mind was one burning question.

Why?

Time lost all meaning, which was why she was unaware of how long it was between Ryouga's departure and Ranma's arrival. The only reason she even realized he entered was that he had shouted out that there was a fire. Ukyou snapped out of her reverie to see the burning okonomiyaki on her grill. It was the first one she had burned in years, yet for some reason it just didn't matter.

Ranma saw her lack of a reaction and acted by leaping over the grill and using the extinguisher behind it. Once the fire was out he turned to his friend. "What's wrong? You could have burned up or something."

She didn't answer. Even Ranma took notice of her rapidly changing demeanor. She was getting worse by the minute. "Ucchan, tell me what's wrong."

"Oh, Ranma," she sobbed out. "He's left me." With that she began crying on a bewildered Ranma's shoulder, not stopping for some time.

Kyan "Bonecrusher" Hokuto knocked out his fifth sparring partner in as many rounds. They were all soft nowadays. None of them could withstand his raging fists. Soon he would be ready to take on the name of the toughest fighter in the world. All would bow in awe of his incomprehensible power. He was the roughest, toughest, meanest man in the world. No one could stop him. No one.

"Everybody out!" Tarou shouted to all the occupants in the gym. Bonecrusher was the first one out the door. Some people one just did not mess with.

Tarou arrived at the gym at his usual time and chased out all the other occupants like he always did. They always seemed to lose track of time. As he warmed up next to one of the mirrors he checked himself out. He looked as irresistible as always in his standard outfit, minus one bracer. How Akane could resist his charms was beyond him. He could tell he was every girl's dream and every man's nightmare. Too intimidating for any man to face. Too classy and good looking for any gal to stay away from. Any gal, save the object of his affections. Maybe today he would break through that hard wall she erected around herself and be allowed inside.

She had been weakening. Of that he was certain. It was taking time, but the goal was worth it on two fronts. One was the obvious reward of Akane herself, and the other was humiliating the Fem-Boy. If only he could win Akane before the hermaphrodite's return, then everything would be perfect.

Akane showed up on time, as usual. It only took a moment to notice there was something different about her. She was usually enthusiastic and happy about training with him, but today there was a different expression upon her face. It was the look of depression.

"What's wrong?" This was cause for concern. His plans weren't so perfect that they could take a major disruption.

"I have something to tell you."

The tone in her voice made Tarou realize just how serious she was being. Something major was up. "What is it?"

She collected her nerves and spoke. "This is going to be our last session. I'm sorry."

That was a total shock. He knew damn well he hadn't done anything to get that sort of reaction from her. The only cause he could think of was if she had found out about his name and was humiliated by it. He gathered his own nerves and asked. "Why?"

"It's kind of hard to explain." She hoped he would drop the line of questions, but she knew better.

"Do it anyway."

The attitude he had left no room to argue. So she elected to tell him the truth. "Ranma's back. I'm going to train with him and won't have time to train with you." The sudden glare Tarou had told Akane everything she needed to know.

"I'm better than Fem-Boy. We both know that. Why don't I have a little match with him over who gets to train you?" He began to crack his knuckles. Beating Ranma within an inch of his life was just the way Tarou wanted to greet his rival for his return. It was certainly what Ranma deserved as far as Tarou was concerned.

"Forget it!" Akane told him in a tone that was not going to accept any excuses. "I make my own decisions about who trains me. I will not be fought over like a piece of meat. Do you understand?"

He gave a reluctant nod. He knew enough about fights to realize he wasn't going to win this test of wills and not lose the war. Besides, he could figure out something else concerning Ranma and Akane. There was an old saying among the Chinese. "The man with two broken arms and legs makes for a poor trainer." Well, there wasn't really a saying like that until he made it up just now, but it certainly was good advice that he would act upon.

Akane smiled at his surrender. Dealing with him was so much easier than dealing with Ranma. "We still have today. Why don't we pull out all the stops?"

Tarou smiled back. Within certain limits, what Akane wanted, Akane got. And if she wanted a rough and tumble session, she was going to get it. He would show her just whom she should be training with. And doing everything else with as well.

Shampoo left the house in search of Kasumi. The eldest Tendo girl had told the purple haired Amazon she would be at the market, waiting for her. Shampoo was in such a hurry she failed to notice the two red rimmed eyes that tracked her progress as she ran through Nerima, waiting for the opportunity to strike. It didn't have to wait long.

Just as Shampoo passed by one of the stone walls surrounding someone's estate, it erupted in a storm of debris as the stone shattered from an impact. The body of the creature that destroyed the wall had driven through it with ease. Reflexes took over as Shampoo barely got out of the way of the huge animal that tried to run her over. She moved away from the wall to see the huge creature turn from its charge and come after Shampoo once more. Now that she had an opportunity she got a clear look at the creature she had some idea of what it was. It was a huge hog-like animal that looked like a really hairy and really big pig. The creature once again tried to run down Shampoo, but this time she was prepared as she nimbly dodged out of the way of the attack. Once again the huge boar-like creature turned and ran towards her. This time Shampoo went on the counter attack. As the big pig attempted another trample Shampoo moved to the side and lashed out with her foot. Hoping to trip the creature up. It didn't work as the creature unexpectedly sidestepped the attack, and with an agility that had to be seen to be believed, turned around, and nailed Shampoo in the stomach.

The purple haired one flew backwards into the chain link fence that sealed off the small canal that ran through Nerima. She quickly jumped on top of the fence and tried to stay out of the creature's reach to buy time to recover. Unfortunately the plan backfired as the creature rammed the fence with its body, the mass striking with enough force to cause the entire section, as well as Shampoo, to topple into the water. Despite being stunned, the newly transformed Shampoo-kun managed to stay above the surface of the water and float down the stream.

The pig-like creature watched Shampoo-kun's form drift downstream. The flow of the current was too fast for it to catch up and it was afraid it might not be able to swim. It departed, fuming that it didn't gain its revenge.

The little old lady splashed Ranma with some water. The redhead didn't even take notice. Ranma-chan was more than a little depressed over the days' events. Poor Ukyou, Ranma-chan had no idea that she had it so bad for Ryouga. It took hours for her to relax Ukyou, then make sure she wouldn't cry anymore. True, she may not have approved of the match up, but if it made Ukyou happy who was she to criticize? Now there was going to have to be a long talk with the lost one and convince him to ask Ukyou out. Of course, knowing how dense Ryouga was, she was probably going to have to beat some sense into him. Kyoko seemed all right, but there was no way she could compare with the okonomiyaki chef. Ryouga could be made to see the light. One way or another.

Then there was also Akane to consider, her and that little 'trainer' she was working out with. It was beyond his understanding how she thought some mere black belt could compare to him. Ranma-chan was the best. She was the only one Akane should even want to train with, even if they weren't engaged. And why was she so desperate to continue training with the mystery man? Could it be there was something else going on besides the training?

She disregarded that idea. There was no way anyone would want to date the uncute tomboy. And there was the fact she wouldn't be able to hide something like that from her. Still, it would probably be a good idea to find out just who it was Akane was meeting and have a little discussion about the trainer's future with Akane.

Ranma-chan just made her way up the path to the house when she saw Akane come up behind her. The redhead's greeting was met by a simple hello as Akane looked to the ground. That was strange, Akane always looked people in the eye when she talked with them. Ranma-chan attempted to get closer when she noticed Akane moved her face away so she couldn't see it.

"What're you hiding?" Ranma-chan asked.

"Nothing!" She responded too quickly and turned away from Ranma-chan's second attempt to get a good look at her face.

Her evasions were all for nothing. Ranma-chan was too quick and Akane turned right when she should have turned left. Her fiancee got a good look a her face.

"What the heck?" She saw the big black eye Akane was now sporting. "What happened?"

Akane knew this reaction was the one she was going to get. "It was an accident. I got hit while sparring."

"I'll kill that jerk!" Ranma-chan said through gritted teeth as she balled her fist up, envisioning what she was going to do when she got her hands on the trainer.

"Oh, stop acting like a big baby." The offhand manner in which Akane said that caught Ranma-chan's attention.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's a black eye. Big deal." She waved dismissively at her fiancee. "I've had lots of worse stuff."

Ranma-chan shook her head, both at what Akane was saying and the way she was saying it. "You aren't supposed to get hurt like that when you spar!"

"It happens all the time when you go full contact."

Ranma-chan shook her head in disbelief this time. "Why are you going full contact in sparring sessions? You could end up getting hurt."

"Like getting a black eye?" she said, pointing to her example. "Look, Ranma. It just so happens I prefer full contact training sessions. It really gives me a chance to use what I've learned, and makes sure I can use it correctly when it's need it. That's something you never did with me, I might add."

"I don't hit girls." She crossed her arms to emphasize her point.

"And that's one of the reasons I'm still way behind in my training. Now, I've caught up a lot in the last few weeks, but I need to keep training hard if I want to get better." She wasn't going to back off now. "So from now on we will have full contact in at least half of our practices."

"Don't tell me how I'm going to train you!" Ranma-chan was starting to become annoyed with her attitude, as though Akane knew what was best.

"Fine," she said as she shrugged her shoulders. "I'll just keep training with Tarou."

"So Tarou's his name, eh?"

Oops. She hadn't meant to mention his name. Curiously, Ranma-chan didn't react as angrily as Akane thought she would. Maybe she didn't dislike Tarou that much. Then again, as she looked into the redhead's face, Akane saw Ranma-chan wasn't acting like she was terribly thrilled either.

"I'm going to have to meet this guy. We'll have a little talk about proper training methods and why he's too clumsy to have ever tried to teach you anything." Ranma-chan gave a smile, and not a warm caring one either.

"I thought you already did." Akane found it difficult to believe Ranma-chan forgot her encounter with a youth that could turn into a Yeti riding bull while carrying an eel and crane. One didn't come across such people all that often.

That caused Ranma-chan to scratch her head. Someone named Tarou she ran in to. No. It didn't ring any bells. She was still lost in thought when she heard a boy's voice call out.

"Hey, Akane. I found your bracelet."

Ranma looked up to see an altogether too familiar face. The reaction was almost instantaneous. "Get back, Akane! He's dangerous."

"You are so right about that," Tarou snickered. "But only to you. Not to her. Never to her."

Ranma placed himself between Tarou and Akane. "Get into the house. If this guy gets his hand on some water, it'll take me a while to beat him up."

"If I get some water," Tarou sneered back. "Hell will freeze over before you can take me. By the way, nice to see you're in that girl form you seem to prefer. Where's your boyfriend?"

Akane decided that was it. "Oh, enough of all this macho posturing." She maneuvered in front of Ranma-chan and went to Tarou. "Tarou this is Ranma. Ranma, this is Tarou. Now get along!"

The evil glares they gave one another told the whole story. Akane gave up and took her bracelet from Tarou. Ranma-chan, on the other hand, finally pieced together two errant thoughts in her mind.

"This is the creep you've been training with?"

Indignity overrode shame. "Yes. It is."

Ranma-chan looked on disbelief. "Are you crazy? He's dangerous! He tried to kidnap Shampoo and ended up beating the hell out of me! Not that I didn't beat him up worse."

"He already told me," Akane explained. "He was manipulated by Cologne. He swore he wasn't going to do that again."

Tarou nodded his head in agreement, if not sincerity.

"And what about the second time he tried to stomp me into paste?" Ranma-chan was getting more and more irritated at Akane's defense. Tarou was totally in the wrong and Ranma-chan was looking like the bad guy.

"You nearly killed me, you idiot!" Tarou shouted. "I almost got run over by a train!"

"Too bad it wasn't a little faster," Ranma-chan responded drolly

Akane's temper began to flare. "You could have killed him, Ranma. I nearly got run over getting him off the tracks."

"You risked your life for this guy?" The whole conversation was getting worse and worse.

"I wasn't going to let him die." Akane tried harnessing her anger, like Tarou taught her. "All of this is one big misunderstanding that's all in the past. Now why don't you two get along?"

"NO!" rang out from both of them.

Akane was about to plead her case some more when a small red gi clad figure attached itself to Ranma-chan's breasts.

"SWEETO! I forgot how much I missed you Ranma." Happosai effectively resisted the  
attempts to pry him off of his favorite pair of breasts. "Did you miss me?"

"Yeah! Like a bad case of pneumonia! Get off me, you disgusting creature!"

Unrealized by the others, Tarou began to shake. Happosai had reappeared for the first time in weeks, which would have been a good thing at any time other than now. If the old master spotted him and called out his name it was all over. Biting down his rage, Tarou turned to quietly leave.

Too late. Happosai spotted the familiar figure. "Pantyhose? Is that you?"

Pantyhose Tarou froze, it was all over now.

"It is you. How are you doing, my boy?" Happosai called from his position between Ranma-chan's breasts.

"Pantyhose?" The redhead stopped trying to remove Happosai momentarily. "Why'd you call him that?"

"Because that's his name. Gave it to him myself when I baptized the little bugger." Happosai paused in memory of one of his proudest moments.

Ranma-chan did what came naturally and started giggling. "Pantyhose? His name's Pantyhose Tarou? HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Happosai stared indignantly at Ranma-chan. "Hey now! Pantyhose is a good strong name, full of character. Besides, Lederhosen sounds too ethnic."

Ranma-chan continued laughing pointing at Tarou and shouting out, "Pantyhose. Your name is Pantyhose! HAHAHA! And what's your middle name? G-String?"

That brought out another burst of laughter from Ranma-chan as Happosai chided himself for not using that as Tarou's middle name.

Tarou finally overcame the realization that his secret was out. Akane was going to mock him the rest of his life, and it was all Happosai's fault. "DIE, YOU OLD FOSSIL!"

Happosai detached himself from Ranma-chan's chest long enough to burn Tarou's attempted punch with his pipe, then punched the youth far away. "You should learn to respect your elders, you little ingrate!" Happosai shouted at the rapidly dwindling form.

The kick Ranma-chan applied to the distracted Happosai sent him off in the opposite direction. "It was nice seeing you again, Master. Thanks for telling me Pantyhose's name." She shouted out to his far off form.

"RANMA!"

Ranma-chan turned around to see Akane staring daggers at him. "What?"

"How dare you mock my friend like that!" A blue aura started to glow around her.

"Oh come off it," the redhead said. "The guy's a jerk and he has a stupid name. After all his Fem-Boy cracks he deserves that, at least."

"You don't hear me making fun of Shampoo's name, do you?" Akane placed her hands on her hips. "I think her name's stupid too."

Now Ranma-chan started to get mad. "How dare you compare the two of them?! They aren't anything alike. Besides, Shampoo said we're mispronouncing her name. It's actually Shan-"

Akane cut him off. "That's not the point! You shouldn't make fun of his name. It's not his fault Happosai named him that. And I don't think there's anything wrong with his it."

Ranma-chan's temper began to flare in earnest as well. "Oh. So you got the hots for him, is that it? Looking forward to becoming Mrs. Panties or something?"

The duo turned upon hearing Kasumi clear her throat. "I don't mean to interrupt your argument, but have either of you seen Shampoo? She was supposed to meet me at the market, but she never showed."

Both told her no, then were interrupted by a third visitor to approach the Tendo Dojo. Mousse.

"Here, Shampoo!" And with that he tossed a scroll at Ranma-chan. She snagged it out of mid-air and opened it.

"What does it say?" Akane asked.

Ranma-chan looked her in the eye. "How should I know? I can't read Chinese any more than the old man can."

Mousse at last realized the mistake. "Ranma! How dare you impersonate Shampoo!"

"I ain't impersonating anyone," she shouted back. "You're just blind and stupid!"

"What you want, Mousse?" All eyes turned to the new speaker. Shampoo-kun had returned, looking for all the world like a drowned rat. His voice carried none of the pleasant tone it usually did as he scowled at his longtime companion.

"Give me that back!" Mousse ripped the scroll out of Ranma-chan's hands. "This says everything. I challenge you to a marriage duel!" And with that he threw it to Kasumi.

Shampoo-kun was outraged. "You can no challenge her! She's no Amazon. And even if she was I would never let you get near her!" To emphasize the statement Shampoo-kun placed himself between Kasumi and Mousse. Kasumi gave a soft sigh, almost as though she was proud of Shampoo-kun's display of chivalry.

"Actually, I meant for you to get that. Sorry." Mousse's embarrassed look passed as he focused on the goal once again. "Our last fight was interrupted. Now I wish to continue our marriage duel."

"I won the fight. I punched you very far away. Therefore I win." Shampoo-kun remained between Mousse and Kasumi.

"Ranma interfered," Mousse corrected. "Therefore the match ended without a reasonable conclusion."

"That's something for the elders to decide. Not you." Shampoo-kun smirked at his victory.

"I didn't realize you were afraid of me, Shampoo." Mousse returned Shampoo-kun's smirk.

"I'm not afraid of you, you blind idiot."

"Of course you are," Mousse continued the verbal assault on her abilities. "Otherwise why won't you face me? It can only be because you think you're going to lose."

Shampoo-kun looked towards Ranma-chan. As if coming to some decision, Shampoo-kun smiled at her, then sneered at Mousse. "I accept your challenge."

Mousse started to smile in joy when Shampoo-kun quickly added one other thing. "Only if you swear to me this will be the last time you ever challenge me for my hand in marriage."

Mousse panicked a bit at that. "You can't do that."

"If you want me to answer your challenge without the council's interpretation, then you have to accept that condition." He was fairly certain Mousse would never agree.

"All right." Mousse said calmly. "I accept."

Shampoo-kun was a little shocked. Both by the fact that Mousse accepted and by how calm he was. Something wasn't right. Did he have some master plan? Looking at him made Shampoo-kun realize that something was different about Mousse. He exuded a quiet confidence that was lacking in the blind one before. It made him seem dangerous, for lack of a better term.

"Where do you want to fight?" Mousse asked.

Shampoo-kun decided to go for everything. Mousse hadn't been training with Ranma and couldn't know exactly how much better Shampoo-kun had gotten. If defeating Mousse was easy before, it would be child's play now. The blind one simply didn't know what he was getting into. Ignorance was the reason behind his seeming assuredness. "We fight here. Now."

Mousse folded his hands into the sleeves of his robes. "Sounds good to me." He wanted to get it over with as fast as he could. He may not have been looking forward to it, but it had to be done.

Ranma-chan ran over to Shampoo-kun. She had realized things were rapidly spiraling out of control and someone had to slow Shampoo-kun down. There was some quiet confidence about Mousse that was very disturbing. It was almost as though he knew something the others didn't. That wasn't mentioning how angry Shampoo-kun appeared. His anger might throw him off and leave an opening for Mousse to get to.

Ranma-chan placed her hand on the Amazon's shoulder in an effort to get him to relax. "You shouldn't be rushing into this. Mousse is up to something. Calm down and take a step back."

Shampoo-kun simply removed the redhead's hand. "No worry about it, Ranma. I can take care of stupid Mousse in my sleep."

"I don't think that's the right attitude to have." She tried to steer the Amazon away from the fight again. "Just wait a couple of days and fight then. You can prepare yourself better."

Shampoo-kun gave Ranma-chan an indignant look. "You no think I can take Mousse?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Then no worry about it," Shampoo-kun sounded a little put off. "I need you support, Ranma. Not you doubts."

The redhead was ready to give up. Shampoo-kun was going to fight no matter what she said. She turned to Akane to see if she could get some moral support, but the youngest Tendo seemed almost eager to watch the fight. An unusual reaction, or so Ranma-chan thought.

The longtime friends backed away from the others and stood about fifteen feet apart. Shampoo-kun appearing wary while Mousse simply looked peaceful, as though he had already won the fight. The effect was unnerving Shampoo-kun and he cursed himself for it. Mentally he was losing the fight, and somewhere deep inside he realized Mousse didn't need any advantages. Somehow he had already found one.

Everyone moved as far away from the action as they could, just in case Mousse became a little inaccurate with his weapons.

The two warriors continued staring at one another, neither making a move. Shampoo-kun decided to take the initiative, hoping to close the distance before Mousse began employing range weapons, something Shampoo-kun had no easy counter for. He tensed his legs and prepared to leap to Mousse. He examined the blind warrior with a close eye, preparing for his reaction to Shampoo-kun's coming attack. So intent was the Amazon that he failed to hear the incoming projectile until it hit him in the back if the neck. His hand went to the sharp pain and pulled out a small blow dart. He turned his attention to the person who fired it. Kodachi Kunou. Shampoo-kun spun in anger towards Mousse, believing the blind one was responsible for the ambush, but the look of naked surprise on his face indicated he was just as shocked by the Black Rose's entrance as she stood atop the roof of the dojo, looking down at the occupants below. She deftly vaulted down with the grace that was hers to command.

"It's over," Kodachi said quietly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mousse asked, horrified that he already knew the answer.

"The dart has a very new, and very toxic, poison on the needle." Kodachi's attitude had none of the manic glee she usually possessed. Instead, there was a sort of melancholy that surrounded her as she spoke in a matter if fact tone. "I created it myself using some rare Chinese herbs."

She turned to the Amazon. "Shampoo, you will begin to feel cold in about a minute as your body starts to feel the poison flow through it. Within three you will be shivering uncontrollably and begin to lose feeling in your body as your nerves shut down. In about five minutes your brain will seize up and unconsciousness will follow. No more than a minute after that you will be dead."

As the final words left Kodachi's mouth Ranma-chan was there, faster than the eye could follow and with a snarl of rage on her lips. She grasped Kodachi by the throat and used that as leverage to rip Kodachi off her feet and hurl her viciously to the ground, laying her out prone. There was no restraint in the maneuver as the redhead positioned herself on the Black Rose's chest while maintaining her stranglehold and increasing the pressure until everyone could hear a strangled gasp come from the pinned girl. Kodachi writhed vainly under Ranma-chan's grasp. The Black Rose was too weak and Ranma-chan was too enraged to even acknowledge the gymnast's struggles.

"Kodachi," Ranma-chan said, using the same matter of fact tone on gymnast had used moments before, as she continued to grasp. "My hands are around your throat and I am choking you to death. You will begin to lose consciousness in about thirty seconds to a minute as you run out of oxygen. Your vision will go red as you feel your body shut down, trying to recycle the air that's trapped in your lungs and has no way of escaping. The oxygen in that air will be used up and you will pass out, never to wake up again as you suffer brain damage from oxygen deprivation in about four minutes. About one minute after that, you'll be dead. Unless you give me the antidote to that poison...now."

Akane could see that Ranma-chan was keeping the stranglehold on the gymnast's neck, not letting up for an instant. From where she was she could just make out the Black Rose gurgle as her eyes roll back in her head. Akane had to act immediately.

She tackled Ranma-chan as hard as she could and knocked her off Kodachi's chest, forcing the grip to be released. As the two got to their feet Akane put herself between the redhead and the fallen gymnast. "Are you crazy, Ranma! You were going to kill her!"

Ranma-chan tensed up, as though ready to jump through Akane. "If she doesn't cough up that antidote I still am. Now get out of my way!"

"She can't give you the antidote if she's unconscious," Akane said, panic starting to make itself known as she looked into eyes that contained nothing of the boy she had grown to know the last few months. All that was there was hate, nothing else remained. What was before her was a stranger that she had never seen before, and never wanted to see again.

"Then I'll take it from her." Ranma-chan moved forward, and Akane was uncertain if she was willing to stand in the way of the girl before her.

That decision was taken from her as Kodachi spoke up. "Is this what you seek, Ranma?" She choked out as she staggered forward and held a glass vial before her.

"YES!" As Ranma-chan moved forward to grab it Kodachi pulled another one out of her leotard.

"Or is it this?" She pulled a second vial. "Or this?" She pulled out a third, then a fourth. Each new container was kept between one of her fingers. "All but one are poison. And if you mistakenly give her one of the poisons, the antidote will no longer work. Only I know which is the real one. What do you do now?"

"I'll..." Ranma-chan was at a loss, uncertain if beating up Kodachi would work in time. She looked over to where Kasumi was nearly fainting with worry. Shampoo-kun was starting to shiver.

"It's beginning, Ranma."

There was no mistaking the fear in Shampoo-kun's eyes. Once again Ranma-chan was helpless as Shampoo-kun was suffering, closer to death than after that first fight with Perfume. There was no way to fight poison. Something had to be done. The mistakes of the past could not be allowed to repeat themselves. Helplessness was not an option.

There was no time for false pride. There was nothing she wouldn't do to save Shampoo-kun's life. Ranma-chan began openly pleading with Kodachi. "Please. I'll do whatever you want. Just give her the antidote."

At last Mousse snapped out of his disbelief. It had all seemed like it was some horrible nightmare that he believed he would wake up, but he hadn't. It was real. And Kodachi was responsible.

He ran over to her and began screaming in her face. "GIVE HER THE ANTIDOTE, NOW!"

"Oh, Mousse," Kodachi quietly moaned. "This is all for you."

"What are you talking about?" He thought he knew the girl he had been living with the last few months, but he hadn't. Not in the least.

"You don't understand," she said, as though reading his thoughts. "I am saving you from a life of misery. Even if you defeat her neither of you will ever be happy. She will resent you every single moment of the day, and you do care for her. I know that and can accept it now. But she will never love you. Certainly not by force, and probably not by anything else. In the end, when you realize she will never love you, you will know nothing but misery and sorrow. I would save you from that by taking this decision from out of your hands."

"I don't want to be saved!" He desperately tried to get through to her, but it was to no avail.

"That's why it falls to me," she said sadly. "Even if you don't love me, I still love you. And that's why I could never allow you to do this. Far better you hate me and what I do today than hating yourself for the ruin you would make of your life and hers."

Mousse turned to see Shampoo-kun shivering uncontrollably. There was no time left, yet he had to come up with something in an instant. His mind raced until it settled upon one desperate idea. He walked over and picked up the dart that had fallen to the ground when Shampoo-kun had pulled it out then released it. He walked back to the gymnast.

Mousse held the object before Kodachi. "There's still some poison on this dart."

"And you mean to jab me with it?" She sounded genuinely depressed. "If you choose to kill me with my own needle, then I shall accept it." She boldly thrust her jaw forward, ready to embrace her fate as befitting a woman of her station.

"Not you." And with that he sank the dart all the way into his hand.

"NNNNOOOOO!" Kodachi cried out. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

"I'm poisoned now," he said calmly. "If you don't give the antidote to Shampoo, I will die from the toxin as well. And I warn you, if you try to give her a poison I'll refuse any antidotes. Our lives are now tied together, as they always have been."

"All right!" Kodachi cried out and thrust one of the vials forward. "Take it! Hurry!"

Mousse went over to Shampoo-kun and gave him the antidote. As he gulped it down Mousse watched the reaction. If it didn't work Mousse was dead too. Without Shampoo there was nothing anyway. Almost as soon as the precious liquid touched Shampoo-kun's lips his chills disappeared, though he seemed to have a problem with moving his limbs. Satisfied it worked, Mousse then used it on himself. Feeling no ill side effects he stalked back over to Kodachi.

"Mousse, I-" She never got a chance to finish as the blind one backhanded her in the jaw. She immediately went down from the blow and looked at him through tear filled eyes.

"Get out of my sight!" he spat out contemptuously. "I never want to see you again."

Kodachi got up without a word and walked off, looking down at the ground as her shoulders slumped in defeat. No one present had any doubts she was truly beaten. That sort of broken will could not be faked. Though Ranma-chan had to be restrained by Akane to keep from following the Black Rose.

Shampoo-kun slowly began to stagger towards Mousse. Rather than cooing about saving Shampoo-kun, he maintained a serious demeanor.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea she would go this far. I thought the drug I gave her would have left her unconscious until-"

It was Mousse's turn to not finish as Shampoo-kun summoned enough strength to strike the blind one in the mouth with his fist. Mousse collapsed in a heap as Shampoo-kun nearly followed him, having used up the majority of his remaining strength.

Mousse started feeling his jaw as he looked in shock at Shampoo-kun. "What the hell was that for? I just saved your life!"

Kasumi and Ranma-chan helped Shampoo-kun keep his vertical base. "You is the one responsible for nearly getting me killed." The Amazon hissed.

"What do you mean?"

"That girl loves you, Mousse," Shampoo-kun said. "For the first time in you life you actually have someone who loves you. I know you, Mousse. If you no liked her then you would no have been around her for so long. But you throw it all away for someone that not even like you anymore. You try to force yourself on me, not because of some promise I make. Not because you have to by law or something. You just chase me because you want to. You think I going to give in because you persistent? You think it because Ranma steal my heart? If it was as simple as that why did I reject you all those years?"

"Because the old ghoul told you to hate me." Mousse told himself that. It had to be the reason why. It had to be.

Shampoo-kun snorted derisively. "What make you think that? Is it because she thinks you a fool? She not always think that. Did you know she once try to encourage me to go out with you and give you a chance? When you first learned martial arts, she thought it showed much perseverance to become as good as you do, even though you have bad vision. She tell me that you would probably start to behave once you started going out with me, because you'd be happy. She think you was one of the best mens the village have to offer back then. But I tell her flat out, No! I say I not going out with you because I not interested in you like that. And the only way I go out with you is if you beat me. She saw I mean business and stopped trying to encourage me. Then you make it easy for her to think you a fool by doing all that you do. After a while great grandmother apologize. She tell me she proud of me resisting her because you are an idiot.

"And you know what the saddest thing is? A long time ago we was friends, but you had to ruin it." Shampoo-kun breathed in deeply.

"I was always there for you," he protested. She was twisting the facts. He didn't ruin anything.

"Yes. You were always there," she said acidly. "Every time I turned around you were there, saying you love me and ignoring all those times I told you I not love you. You were always there, even if I needed to be alone and told you to your face I not want you around. You were always there, even when I not want your damn suffocating attention. You were like some extra limb I not want or need. You were always there, chasing everyone else away and telling me how you was the only one for me. And now you here again, when you is the last thing in the world I want to see."

Words were now difficult for Mousse to voice. Shampoo-kun had never talked to him quite like this. "Why? I tried to help you."

"Help me? How did you help me?! Did you think you help me when you drove everyone away from me." Shampoo-kun stopped for a moment. "No. You weren't the only one. I did it too, the way I acted sometimes. But you still made all the boys go away from me."

"They wanted to take advantage of you. You didn't hear them talk the way I did." Mousse tried to defend his actions. They were justified. He knew they were.

"I'll never know because you never let me find out. And you know I can take care of myself. That just an excuse because you were afraid I'd like someone else," she spat out contemptuously. "If I not meet anyone then you not have to worry about me falling in love with them. You is just a self-centered little boy who can no accept truth. So you try to make me yours by making sure there would be no one else. Well it not matter. I do not now nor ever loved you!"

Mousse began to plead. "Everything I've done has always been for you!"

"No, Mousse," Shampoo-kun sadly shook his head. "It's always been for you. If it was for me you would have listened to what I tell you for all these years and done what I ask. But you never did. You did what you want, like you always do."

Shampoo-kun gathered his strength for one last action. "I not going to let this continue. Two weeks from now we continue our duel. It all ends, one way or another."

And with that said the last of his strength finally gave out. It was only the fact that Ranma-chan was watching him like a hawk that enabled her to catch the boy before he hit the ground. The two exchanged looks. Ranma-chan to make certain Shampoo-kun was okay, Shampoo-kun to assure Ranma-chan he was.

Ranma-chan turned to Mousse. "Leave! Now! Don't ever come back here again, or I'll make sure you won't be in any condition to do anything other than bleed for that duel!"

For a change, Mousse chose not to retort, but rather quietly walked off.

Ranma-chan watched long enough to determine Mousse really did leave, then returned his attention to Shampoo-kun. "You really are crazy, you know that?" Her voice carried no anger. Rather it was soft, despite the nature of the words.

"It has to end, Ranma." The Amazon said weakly as Ranma-chan and Kasumi helped him into the house to lie down. "It can no continue like this. He'll keep coming back over and over again, and I tired of wondering what he come up with next. He just been getting worse as time goes on. Bad enough he do what he do since China, now I afraid he might escalate and accidentally hurt someone who can't defend themself." As he finished the statement he looked directly at Kasumi, then turned back to Ranma-chan. "No. It has to end. And in two weeks it will."

Shampoo-kun lay back on a couch, allowing Kasumi and Ranma-chan to baby him. Even Akane looked on with unusual concern for Shampoo-kun. Nabiki came into the room and everyone started talking about the upcoming fight. It was obvious Shampoo-kun was going to be all right. His strength was returning by the moment.

Not more than twenty minutes later there were two new visitors to the Tendo household, Sayuri and Malia. As soon as they set eyes upon Shampoo-kun they rushed over to his resting form.

"Are you hurt?" Sayuri asked.

"Will you be all right?" Malia mirrored her friend's concern.

"AHEM!" Kasumi cleared her throat and looked directly at the two girls, who were paying just a little too much attention to her ward. "Ranma is fine. I am taking perfectly good care of him. Please back off. He needs air."

"That's right," Shampoo-kun agreed. "I not need you help. Thanks anyway."

The duo took the rebuff and backed off, then remembered what they had been there for. Malia started talking. "We saw something interesting today."

"What?" Akane asked.

"Someone's going around calling himself Ranma Saotome. And he has a wife." Sayuri answered.

Everyone else in the room looked at one another in wonder, then returned their attention to the visitors and began a slew of questions. After a few moments of confusion, Ranma-chan shouted out at the top of her lungs and drove everyone into silence.

"Now tell me everything," the redhead ordered the two girls.

Sayuri and Malia informed them of everything that had happened, giving physical descriptions of Mr. And Mrs. Saotome.

"How dare they go around impersonating m..." Ranma-chan recalled who his visitors were and corrected herself. "Ranma! This town ain't big enough for two Ranma Saotomes!"

"Don't you mean, big enough for three?" Nabiki corrected.

"Err...yeah," Ranma-chan said sheepishly. "I'll take care of the matter since he's still out of it."

"I'm going with you." For a change, Ranma-chan didn't argue with Akane's suggestion.

"That's the spirit!" Genma suddenly popped up from nowhere.

"Fiancees should work together," Soun joined Genma in encouraging the children.

Ranma-chan and Akane looked at each other and rolled their eyes, electing not to argue with them this time. They were joined by the fathers, who also wanted to meet the new Ranma, and set out immediately to find the "Saotomes."

Malia and Sayuri were about to give their good-bye's when they spotted Birdy.

"He's so cute!" Malia said as she did her best impression of Azusa Shiratori. Sayuri seconded the comment as Nabiki shook her head in disgust.

"How can you possibly think something that revolting is 'cute'?"

This time Nabiki saw the animal look at her with what was unquestionably malice. That suited her just fine. She didn't like him either.

"Nabiki, please don't insult my new pet." Kasumi turned her attention to the visitors, who were now seen in a much more pleasant light. "I'll let him out and fly around a bit. Maybe we'll even get to see him catch some mice. It's so cute, the way he snatches them of the ground and tears off their..."

Nabiki listened to Kasumi's speech as the girl released her pet and went outside. The middle Tendo realized she was alone with the still exhausted Shampoo-kun.

"Want some rest?" she asked.

"Please. But first, could you get me a book on pigs?" Shampoo-kun had some time to kill and wanted some idea of what had attacked him earlier in the day.

"Sure," Nabiki sighed and left the room to get the book. She had better things to do than baby-sit some Amazon. She'd leave him alone once she got the book.

Kaori was beginning to get worried about her husband. He had been behaving as though he were depressed, which was the exact opposite from what she had expected. They now had information concerning the other half of his school. Apparently the style of martial arts he was looking for had a school located somewhere in Nerima. It was only a matter of time before they found it. But as they seemed to draw closer to the place her husband was growing more and more afraid. Almost as though he was having second thoughts.

"Husband, what's wrong?"

'Ranma' cursed himself. She learned how to read him like a book in the short time they knew each other and had been married. "I think these people might be dangerous. It would be best if I discover the location of the school on my own." He hoped she would listen to him, for a change.

"We are man and wife. You knew from the beginning that I would brave dangers at your side, for better and for worse. We go on together. Two parts of one whole."

'Ranma' sighed to himself. Part of him was proud that the woman he fell in love with was so eager to face any danger with him, but the odds were too great. The pattern of lies he had woven around the two of them would be destroyed if the wrong words were spoken by others. He was trying desperately to figure out how to get Kaori to return to their hotel room when he spotted two girls and two older men approaching them. His warrior's eye knew from their gait where they were heading, and why. The goal was him, and from the look on their faces it was not going to be a pleasant meeting.

He noted the dark-haired girl speak harshly to her red-haired partner, then take charge and indicated to the men stay back. From where he was he noticed the men eagerly agreeing and remaining behind. The girls walked up to him and Kaori.

"Excuse me," the dark-haired one said. "You look familiar. I was wondering. What's your name?"

He realized she knew, yet he had no choice but to answer. "Ranma Saotome."

The effect on the redhead was instantaneous. "Real interesting name, pal. Y'see. That happens to be my name."

That was a shock to 'Ranma.' He had thought other Ranma was a boy.

Ranma-chan continued. "Somehow, I doubt it's a coincidence that your name is Ranma Saotome too and you just happened to be in Nerima. I'd have to say you're an impostor."

"Impossible!" Kaori cried out. "He is Ranma Saotome. I have proof. My father engaged me to a BOY named Ranma Saotome. Not a girl."

"Did he do if for food, by chance?" Ranma-chan asked suspiciously as she turned around to watch her father's reaction.

"Why, yes," Kaori answered hesitantly. "For a fish and some rice."

"POP!" Ranma-chan shouted out as she stared daggers at her father.

"It's not as simple as that!" Genma blubbered. "Besides, he threw in two pickles as well."

"You are so dead when this is all over, old man." Ranma-chan threatened.

Kaori was taken aback. "How could you know about the deal?"

"I was there," he proudly stated. "I'm Genma Saotome."

"Then this is your son?" She pointed to the other 'Ranma.'

"No! This is!" And with that he grabbed a kettle, seemingly from nowhere, and poured it on Ranma-chan, triggering the transformation.

Kaori stood there in shock for a moment, processing all that happened. For the briefest of moments she believed Genma's words, then rejected them. "Impossible! My father would never engage me to a freak like that!"

Akane took exception to the statement. "He is not a freak, and he is not engaged to you, bimbo! He is my fiancee!"

Ranma was taken aback by the forcefulness of the proclamation. Akane sounded almost proud of their engagement.

Kaori's pride was now damaged. "I am the sole inheritor of the Daikoku family fortune and am fully capable of running the entire business of twenty five take-out stores, as well as being one of the best masters of Martial Arts Takeout. I am anything but a bimbo." Twin looks of anger were exchanged between the girls.

'Ranma' finally decided to take charge of the situation. He spoke directly to Ranma. "Are you by chance a member of the Anything Goes School of Martial arts?"

He was rewarded by a confused look from Ranma. "Yeah. So what?"

'Ranma' dropped into a fighting stance. "Then show me the Yamisenken!"

"What are you talking about? I don't know any Yamisenken."

Genma heard the statement and began muttering under his breath. "Uh oh! This could be trouble."

"You liar! I need the Yamisenken to complete my martial arts training." He dropped into a fighting stance. "If you won't show me it then I'll force it out of you!"

Ranma answered the combat stance with one of his own. "Now we're talking."

The two leaped at one another and began to brawl. 'Ranma' saw an opening and went for an early finisher. "DOKUJA TANKETSU SHO!" and hit Ranma with a palm thrust the real Saotome only partially avoided. The blow left him stunned and reeling.

"Time to finish this before it blows up in my face." 'Ranma' silently thought. He was about to use a pattern of kicks to knockout his opponent when he received a vicious kick to his head by Akane. The unexpected attack caught him off guard as he received two quick strikes to his chest, then almost didn't react in time to the kick aimed at his groin, barely managing to block it by bringing his legs together.

That left him off balance, just as Akane had planned. She easily elbowed him in the face and knocked him off his feet. Just as she was going to go for another series of attacks, Kaori took action. She launched herself in the air with a leap kick and smashed Akane twice in the head before landing. The kicks knocked Akane off her feet fell, stunned but not unconscious. Just as Kaori prepared another assault she was picked up from behind by the real Ranma and tossed over twenty feet away. The maneuver obviously used to back her up as opposed to inflicting harm.

All four fighters regained their feet and were prepared to start again when Genma yelled. "STOP!" The quartet turned in his direction.

"You're all martial artists, not common street fighters. There are formal ways to go about this."

"He's right," the other 'Ranma' said. "I challenge you to the name of Ranma Saotome and to the Yamisenken. If I win you stop calling yourself Ranma Saotome and teach me that style. If you win I'll..." he paused, then continued. "...give up the name of Ranma Saotome and the Umisenken."

"Deal!" Ranma shouted. "Name the time and place."

"Two weeks from today in one of the open fields near Furinkan School."

"Wait a minute!" Kaori pointed to Akane, "I want a piece of the girl who assaulted my husband."

"You're on!" Akane wanted a rematch just as badly. "We'll fight at the same time as the guys."

All four looked warily at one another, making certain of no betrayal. The second Ranma and Kaori left the field of battle.

"That's the spirit, Akane!" Soun began to bawl. "You defend the honor of your fiancee."

"I'm doing this for me, Dad. Not him."

"It's still good to see you come to the aid of Ranma, my dear," Genma beamed proudly.

"I didn't need her help. I was just setting him up." Ranma said, the indignity of someone suggesting he required help rubbed him wrong.

"Yeah! From your back, right!" Akane said.

Ranma just stared at her. He really did have an assault planned. He'd have to explain it to her when they got back. At the moment there was something else on his mind.

"Pop!" he grabbed Genma by the collar. "You'd better start talking real fast about why you sold me and who that guy was. I have a feeling you're involved up to your neck in this situation."

"N...now my boy. If you let me explain you'll understand."

Genma explained, and was promptly pulverized by Ranma for the nature of the explanation. As he left his father's crumpled form and the field of battle behind, one thought occurred to him.

"Damn! The day he chose to fight me is the same day as Shampoo's duel." He was going to have to figure out a way to be at two places at once.

'Ranma' walked away from the field of battle with his wife. Things had happened quickly, but he hadn't blown his cover, yet.

Kaori immediately picked up on her husband's concern. "Don't worry my love. We'll defeat them."

The boy took her hand. If only he had gone about things in a different way from the beginning. Now he had to win the fight. The Yamisenken was now secondary to his primary goal: keeping his name. He had only been calling himself Ranma Saotome in order to get the information on the man who had taught 'Ranma's' real father the Umisenken. Genma Saotome was the one doing the teaching, and 'Ranma's' father had used the half of the technique he had been taught. The result of which was the destruction of the family dojo and the death of his father. Now only the Yamisenken could restore the dojo. In name if not in actuality.

During his travels he came across Kaori Daikoku, who had been searching for the real Ranma Saotome in order to marry him. He had allowed the engagement in the hopes the real Ranma would come forth and claim his fiancee. How was he to know he would fall in love with the girl and maintain the charade, going so far as to marry her under the false name? How would she react to the knowledge that she had not married Ranma Saotome, but, in fact, married a stranger named Ryu Kumon?

Epilogue

Silk stepped off the tarmac of the airport and strolled into the terminal. Her nostrils flared as she took a deep breath of the air. The atmosphere of Japan was just as smelly as she remembered it, but she missed it all the same. Too many years had passed since she had last set foot in the land of the rising sun. It would be entertaining to see how much the land she had frequented for close to five years of her youth had changed. Her thoughts went back to the citizenry of Japan as well. She found them a bit high and mighty, but that sort of attitude was held by many of the Amazons as well. It made them underestimate her in any case. It was almost certainly still a land rife with opportunities that someone like her could take full advantage of.

It was good to be back. She would eventually have to seek out Cologne, but there was enough time for some extracurricular activities. She would have to look up her old lover from so many years ago. In all of her forty five years of life, no had touched her heart in quite the way he had. Enough time had passed since his marriage that his wife should not feel threatened by an old flame. Not too much anyway. And it was certainly beneath Silk to try anything with a married man, especially one she cared so much about. At the very least he would certainly be in for quite a surprise when she arrived.

Silk switched to a more conventional style of clothing for Japan, a simple gray sweatshirt and blue jeans. She rather enjoyed Japanese clothing styles, and there had been no occasions where she could have worn such things without attracting undue attention, and she hated drawing attention. She had been sedentary for far too long in China, and began to fall into a rut, doing the same thing over and over again. Variation was what was needed, and now she had it in coming to Japan. Seeking out Cologne was a godsend.

It was a simple matter to find the right street once again. Silk took note of the old lady that was throwing water out in the middle of the street for no apparent reason. Now that she thought about it, that same old woman was doing the exact same thing seventeen years ago, when Silk first came to Nerima. And she hadn't changed a bit in that time. Very bizarre.

Silk passed by another familiar house. She recalled that one belonged to that nice old lady that had informed her of what had happened with her old love and his family when Silk first visited the area over seventeen years ago. The lady was a pleasant sort of person, the kind you met only once in a while, yet wished everyone was like.

She remembered the conversation of so many years ago very well. The lady was a gabby sort that informed Silk about her former lover's family. What his wife was like. How well they got along with neighbors and family. The fact his wife was pregnant. A very well informed lady. Once Silk thought about it, the timing was all wrong for her to visit. A woman in her eighth month of pregnancy has no desire to see her husband's old flames suddenly show up. Friction was sure to follow. So Silk decided against the visit and journeyed elsewhere throughout Japan, giving Nerima a wide berth.

Now it was many years later, and circumstances had changed. It would be wonderful to see him again. Assuming he still lived at that dojo. His wife would just have to understand this time around.

She noticed the sign next to the dojo, claiming it taught "Anything Goes Martial Arts." That was all the confirmation she needed. Silk walked up to the door and knocked. It was only a moment before it was answered by a beautiful young lady, no more than twenty by Silk's estimation.

Silk gave a formal bow and soft smile. "Greetings. Is there a Soun Tendo present? I'm an old friend of his." The reaction she received to the question was somewhat unexpected. Silk watched the girl's eyes widen and take a step back as she suddenly looked very frightened.

Kasumi Tendo said one word before passing out.

"Mother."

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Special Thanks to

Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Gary Kleppe  
Shadowmane  
Dr. Wade Tritschler  
Kevin R. Wible


	22. Unexpected Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tendous receive an unexpected guest. More on the upcoming fights with Mousse and the new Ranma.

Prelude

“I’m so glad you could stop by, Dr. Channard.” Dr. Otani examined the distinguished looking, fortyish, gaijin doctor closely as the two walked down one of the corridors of the Matsuda Institute. An insane asylum by any other name. Otani was pleased that it was a quiet day at the institute. The patients had been worked up over the last few days, and he wanted to impress his somewhat mysterious guest as much as he could. 

“Your case caught my interest,” Channard replied in fluent Japanese. A fact not overlooked by Otani.

“You speak Japanese remarkably well.”

“I am a remarkable individual.” Otani felt rebuffed, despite the neutral tone Channard’s voice carried. It sounded as though the foreigner had been stating a fact, not an opinion. 

Little was understood about the man known simply as Dr. Channard. Otani didn’t believe anyone even knew the man’s first name, just that he was a mysterious individual whose skills in the field of psychology were unsurpassed by any. At least that was what was said. No one knew where he lived, where he originally came from, or where he learned his skills. Many thought he was a myth, similar to that of Dr. Blackjack who was altogether too real. Perhaps all such geniuses were eccentrics. At any rate, after telling a friend about the ‘John Doe’s’ unusual case, he had recommended allowing Dr. Channard to examine him. Otani had thought the man was joking until he received a call from Channard himself to explain the situation.

“Tell me the specifics of this case,” Channard requested.

That caught Otani a bit off guard. “Weren’t you told what to expect?”

“I want to hear them from your own lips,” Channard explained. “You are familiar with the case, and may mention something others overlooked or forgot.”

That was a real boost to the ego. Channard thought Otani was reliable enough to give accurate information. He wouldn’t let him down. “The man was brought in almost two years ago. He was found outside by a road yelling and screaming. As I remember it, the police had to bring him in with heavy restraints. He was mostly incoherent, rambling on in gibberish or totally nonsensical statements. There wasn’t any rhyme or pattern to any of it, no way to get anything from him. He also displayed extreme agitation and a proclivity to violence periodically. Fingerprints turned up nothing on the man. He had no identification on him. No one claimed him and no one fitting his description went missing from any of the other institutes. We still have no idea who he is, so we just call him John Doe.”

Otani saw Channard remain silent and process the information. Otani continued. “Here’s where it starts getting strange. We did a medical examination on him. It turns out someone removed portions of his brain.”

“Which portions?” Channard asked.

“That’s sort of odd. The parts that were removed weren’t from any really active areas. Almost like someone wanted to see what would happen if they just took them out. The job was really professional too. Scarring was minimal and he was put back together flawlessly. We asked around at all the hospitals in Japan and nearby countries. No one admits to doing that sort of thing, naturally.”

“What has changed that you felt the need to contact me for this case?” Channard inquired.

“Originally he never responded in the least to any treatment, so we haven’t made any concentrated efforts at bringing him around.” He noticed Channard give a curious look. “There are others we can help, and we simply don’t have the staff to assist everyone as well as they deserve,” he quickly added. Otani took his job seriously, but there really was only so much he could do.

“Then things changed one evening, about seven months ago. He managed to catch the attention of one of the orderlies by talking to him. Understandably. It was an older one, fortunately, so he realized the importance of his coherence. I was contacted, but by the time I arrived he was beginning to slip back into an incoherent state and becoming worse by the minute. I rushed to meet him and began a conversation, hoping to learn something of his past. I was in for a disappointment. He was still quite insane, you could tell simply by looking into his eyes. He began talking. His voice was so different when he spoke in normal tones.

“But I digress. He began telling me of how, for all intents and purposes, the end of the world was coming. I humored him, hoping to learn some grain of truth in his speech. Any information to go on. Well, he informs me he’s from the future, where some great evil ends up ‘consuming humanity’ as he puts it. I asked him what the evil was. He said he couldn’t remember. I asked him several other questions, including his name. He couldn’t remember any of it. The only thing he did was run off a series of events that would happen before the year was out. I asked him how he could remember those relatively minor things, yet nothing else. He said something curious then. He said, ‘because that’s what they programmed into me.’ After that he began babbling once more, and he hasn’t regained cognizance since.”

Channard finally spoke. “Why the sudden interest now if all this happened months ago?”

“Well,” Otani began playing with his collar uncomfortably. “Some of the things he said would happen, have occurred. Actually,” his voice dropped several decibels, “actually, all of them occurred. Some were easy, like who would win the next election and how many typhoons would hit this year.”

He paused for a moment before continuing. “but other things he predicted were less likely. Such as predicting that the Tokyo Bombers would win the World Series this year. I mean, they were picked to finish dead last in the league by everyone. And he knew about that new volcano that suddenly erupted in Korea a month ago. He even gave an exact number of the people that would die in a mud slide in Indonesia. He got the exact date correct. Everything he has predicted has come true.”

Channard placed his hand to his chin in thought. “I see. Show me this man.”

Otani guided his guest with all due haste. John Doe had been getting more and more agitated lately and was being kept under sedation in solitary, straitjacketed for his own protection as much as others. 

The duo arrived outside the padded cell of the patient. Two orderlies were waiting at their posts, just as Otani had ordered when he understood Channard had arrived. “He’s been quiet for almost half an hour now, sir,” one of the uniformed men informed, Otani.

The order to unlock the door was given as Otani wondered if the patient had foreseen this visit as well. As the door opened, three of the four men looked on in shock at the scene before them. One of the orderlies bolted while the other one just stared in horror.

“How did he…?” Otani couldn’t continue.

Channard, unaffected by the display before him, answered the incomplete question. “He most likely used his teeth to get through the material of his straitjacket, and then into his flesh.”

From down the corridor, the sounds of the orderly beginning to retch began. He didn’t make it to a restroom in time.

“How could a man chew through his arm like that?” Otani finally managed to voice. 

“Fear,” Channard informed him. “real or imagined, can drive a man to do anything. Never forget that.” Channard returned his attention to the room. John Doe might have killed himself out of fear, but he had left one very important thing behind. Something he wanted others to know. A message had written in his own blood, smeared along one of the walls. It took but a moment to decipher the writing. 

“I will never live under his rule again. He hates us all.”

“Would you like my advice, Dr. Otani?” Channard asked in an even tone, still obviously unaffected by what occurred. 

It took a couple of seconds for Otani to understand the question, the scene before him starting to take its toll. “Yes.”

“Has there been something you always wanted to do, but were always putting it off for later because you thought you would have more time in the future?”

“Yes.”

“Do it now. You’re almost out of time.” And with that Channard departed, leaving Otani alone as the other orderly finally collapsed into unconsciousness.

Once outside, Channard pulled out his communicator and tapped in his eight digit code. The connection was almost instantaneous as his message bounced off a satellite and was sent deep within the earth at a location in the Rocky Mountains.

“Channard to Danse Macabre. Put me through to the shift commander.”

“Confirmed,” The voice on the other end hissed. Channard knew who it was immediately. 

“Roquat. I looked into the Japanese rumor and have concluded my investigation. I believe it deserves looking into.”

“Did you do a mind probe?” The voice hissed.

“No,” Channard replied. “The subject was already deceased.”

“How?” It was impossible to tell what Roquat was thinking, his voice betrayed even less emotion than the doctor’s.

“By his own hand.” Channard knew what the response would be now.

“Without a mind probe, and without an outside influence involving his death, the Danse cannot act on this information.”

“My instincts tell me this is for real.” For the first time that evening emotion crept into Channard’s voice.

“There is no time. You are needed elsewhere. Allow me to give you the address of where you need to go.” Roquat sent the information. India was the next stop. Channard knew better than to argue with his superiors. So he just prayed his instincts were wrong this time.

Another dimension:  
The Empire of the Five Comets:

The Seer felt the course fate took with the time lost man. If only Channard had arrived an hour earlier, the patient would have still been alive and the Danse Macabre would have had enough information to intervene. With the resources at their disposal they could have stopped the Shogun’s plans. But that was not what had happened, and things continued onward upon their disastrous course. 

Time was running out.

End Prelude

Ranma ½ Presents:  
Shampoo ½  
Chapter 22

Unexpected Visitors

As always C+C greatly appreciated.

An Alternate Universe:  
What’s gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic. You should probably read the previous chapters, a lot has gone on. but here’s a summary anyway.) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing that Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma so (Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo, enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and briefly ended up engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. During the first day of school, water and confusion mixed and everyone believes Ranma-chan is Shampoo and Shampoo-kun is Ranma. Last chapter, A new Ranma Saotome and his wife Kaori Daikoku Saotome, hit Nerima looking for the missing half of ‘Ranma’s’ martial arts. In truth, the new Ranma is Ryu Kumon, who impersonated Ranma so he could locate Genma and the other half of his martial art, the Yamisenken. Also, Mousse has decided to challenge Shampoo to one last duel for her hand in marriage. It almost was their last fight as Kodachi poisoned Shampoo in an attempt to prevent Mousse from ruining his life. Only Mousse’s quick thinking saved Shampoo, who reemphasized that she wanted nothing to do with him and that in two weeks time, one way or another, there will be a final resolution between the two. To make matters worse, Silk, an Amazon sent by the elders to bring back Cologne, has decided to visit her old lover Soun Tendo. How unfortunate Amazons aren’t allowed to become cursed by the male spring without the penalty of death to follow…

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Part One  
Past Remembrance

Years of Amazon training made Silk react instinctively despite her surprise. Kasumi never came close to touching the floor as the Amazon caught her falling form and lifted her, as gently as a newborn, into her arms. 

“The unfortunate child,” Silk thought. “She must be in poor health to faint like that. And calling out to her mother as she did. I hope someone else is here.”

Silk had little choice but to allow herself in uninvited. Under the circumstances, it hardly seemed inappropriate. She carried Kasumi down the hallway and announced her presence. As she entered she saw a slightly younger girl with a short haircut set foot in the room at the same time she did. 

It only took a moment for Nabiki to take in the situation. “What happened?” She tensed up at the intruder holding her sister. If it was someone that had come for Ranma she could be dangerous. But one look at the woman, whose graying hair made her look older than her face indicated, made Nabiki feel she wasn’t here for Ranma.

“The poor girl passed out when she answered the door,” Silk explained. “Is there somewhere I can lay her down?” 

If she was here for Ranma, she was the most polite foe he ever had. And there was something very familiar about her, but Nabiki couldn’t place what it was. She shifted her concern with the woman to Kasumi. There was never a time Nabiki could ever remember her sister passing out. Silk laid Kasumi down on them while the middle Tendo examined her. Akane finally came down and took in the scene before her eyes. 

“What happened?!” 

“Kasumi passed out. This…” Nabiki now realized she was uncertain of exactly who the woman was. 

Silk noticed the hesitation and filled in the blank for her. “My name is Silk.”

“Ms. Silk brought her in.” Nabiki examined her sister closely. She knew enough from first aid courses that she was breathing regularly. It was a surprise when the woman came over and proceeded to examine Kasumi in earnest. She asked Nabiki several questions about Kasumi’s health then, after a few moments, rendered her diagnosis.

“It seems to be just a fainting spell,” Silk said. “She cried out for her mother before she passed out. Is she present? It might be wise to have her next to her daughter when she comes around.”

The reference was all she needed to place the face. Nabiki’s own eyes grew wide as she stared at the woman before her. “Mommy?”

It was Silk’s turn to stare. Things were starting to become enigmatic to her. Now that she thought about it, it wasn’t impossible that, rather than calling out FOR her mother, Kasumi might have been calling HER, mother. 

Nabiki moved closer and touched Silk’s face. “No,” Nabiki said softly. “You look a lot like her, but you’re not her.”

“I should say not,” Silk said softly, and held Nabiki’s examining hand gently in her own, hoping to put her at ease. “I think I’d remember having two such beautiful children as yourselves.”

Akane looked confusedly at Nabiki as her sister drew back from Silk. Akane could barely remember her mother’s face, and didn’t think Silk looked like her at all. At least from what she could remember.

Nabiki composed herself, somewhat. “Sorry. You just look a lot like our mother.”

“I understand.” Silk gave a smile. “Many young girls have made similar comments. I guess I just have a motherly face.”

“No.” Nabiki shook her head. “I mean you look almost exactly like her.”

“I see.” Silk scowled slightly at that. “Is your mother home?”

Nabiki shook her head once again. “She died some years ago.”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea.” Silk hadn’t meant to dredge up old wounds. She needed to talk to Soun. “Is your father home?”

As if in answer to the question, Soun entered the room. “What’s going on? I thought I heard some…” he trailed off as his eyes fell upon the newcomer. “Silk?”

“It’s wonderful to see you again, Soun.” Silk recognized him immediately. He hardly changed at all in the ensuing decades. Her first impulse was to go over and embrace him, but she remained close to Kasumi instead. A more formal greeting could wait until the eldest Tendo recovered. Besides, she had some questions to ask him that would have to be done in private.

Silk heard Kasumi begin to moan as she came around, and moved out of her direct line of sight. No point in startling the young girl into unconsciousness again. 

Soun suddenly realized his daughter's condition and raced over to her side, almost crying. “What’s wrong Kasumi? What happened?”

Silk took note of Soun’s tearfulness. He was always a little overemotional, but this was a bit much, even for him.

Kasumi slowly opened her eyes and smiled at her Soun. “Hello, Father. I just had an unusual dream about Mother. I dreamt she came up to the door and was looking for you.”

“It wasn’t a dream, Sis,” Nabiki said hesitantly as she looked back at Silk. “I mean, it wasn’t Mom. Just someone that looks a lot like her.”

“What?” Kasumi asked as she quickly sat upright. 

“She means me,” Silk said as she came into Kasumi’s line of vision. 

Once again the eldest Tendo daughter’s eyes opened wide at the sight of Silk. “Y…you do look a great deal like Mother. Who are you?”

At last! An opportunity to properly introduce herself and put everyone’s minds at ease. “My name is Silk. I came to visit my old friend, Soun Tendo. I apologize for startling you.”

“Are you related to Mom?” Nabiki asked.

“Not to my knowledge,” Silk answered. She carefully looked at all the people present in the room. Soun was looking at her in a very surprised manner. Kasumi was still staring very wide eyed at her, which was only slightly worse than Nabiki’s stare. Of all the people in the room, only Akane seemed the least affected, simply appearing a little bewildered.

“What brings you to Japan?” Soun finally asked.

“I’m here on business, I’m afraid,” she said with a resigned sigh. “I do have a couple of days to kill though. I thought I’d look you up while I was in Japan. I didn’t mean to cause any problems.” 

“No! Oh no. You’re not causing any problems.” he quickly answered. “I just didn’t expect you. This is quite the surprise. It’s not as though I’ve seen you in over twenty years.”

“Much time has passed, yes. I’m sorry about your wife passing on. My heart goes out to you.”

The Tendo girls were slightly surprised by their father’s reaction. Usually he would cry or his eyes would at least tear up whenever anyone mentioned their mother. This time, however, he simply looked towards the floor and sighed. “Thank you. Your sympathy is most heartfelt.”

“You’re welcome.” Silk decided to change the subject, lest things become too morose. “Why don’t you introduce me to your lovely family?”

Soun lost his somber expression and brightened up immediately. He introduced all if his daughters and did likewise for Silk, introducing her tactfully as an old friend. Silk couldn’t help noticing the looks of confusion from Kasumi and Nabiki had changed slightly, almost as though they were evaluating her. 

“So, you’ve known Daddy for a long time?” Nabiki asked.

“Indeed. We traveled over a great deal of Japan together in our youth,” Silk answered politely.

“He never mentioned you,” Kasumi added.

“I suppose he thought he’d never see me again. I actually live in China, and I was only visiting Japan.”

“How long did you visit?” Nabiki asked back.

“I stayed here for three years.”

“It sounds more like you moved here than visited,” Kasumi commented.

“True, it was an extended stay. I wandered around a great deal in my youth. It was only through the greatest of fortunes that I met your father during one of my journeys.”

“How long did you,” Nabiki chose her words carefully, “hang around together?”

Silk began to see the way things were developing. The sisters were taking turns interrogating her. “About a year.”

Both Kasumi and Nabiki appeared taken aback. 

“You were around one another for a year?” Kasumi managed to ask.

“It may have been a little less, but yes, it was about a year.” Silk watched the reactions more carefully now.

“I see,” Nabiki said, her voice laced with sarcasm as she now appeared a little hostile. “That’s a long time. Sounds like you two may have been a little closer than ‘friends’.” There was no mistaking what that implied.

“Nabiki!” Soun suddenly shouted out. “Silk is our guest. How dare you treat her in such a manner! Go to your room!”

For the first time in recent memory, Nabiki was struck speechless. Her father was punishing her? Her father? She remained motionless while trying to process the information. 

Soun was not pleased by the hesitation. “What are you waiting for?” 

His tone brooked no argument, but Nabiki tried one any anyway. “You haven’t sent me to my room in years!” 

“An obvious oversight on my part if this is the behavior you demonstrate to our guests,” Soun glowered, then added. “Get going!”

Nabiki gave a, “Yes, Daddy,” through clenched teeth and headed upstairs. 

“I…I better get going as well and make sure she’s all right.” Kasumi got up and moved to follow Nabiki. She paused a moment to give Silk one last longing gaze. “It was a pleasure to meet you,” then ran up the stairs. 

“I’m going to check up on them as well. It was nice meeting you.” Akane bowed before the guest. Silk returned the gesture with an even deeper bow of her own.

“The pleasure is all mine.” She smiled warmly in response.

Akane found her spirits inexplicably soar at that smile. She hurried up the stairs, almost as quickly as Kasumi had, and went directly to Nabiki’s room. There was more than a little bit of confusion as to why her older sister was acting the way she did. Silk had given her no reason to be so catty. She barged into the room to see Kasumi already sitting in a chair and Nabiki lying on her bed. Akane chose to sit next to Nabiki’s prone form.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you treating that nice lady like that?” Akane asked. 

“Yes, Nabiki. That was rather rude,” Kasumi added.

Nabiki examined her sisters with a careful eye, determining they really were oblivious. “What are you two, stupid?!” she spat out.

“Hey!” Akane cried out. Nabiki had no business talking to her like that. She sounded like Ranma.

“Nabiki!” Kasumi was even more shocked. Her sister had NEVER been rude to her before.

“You two are practically fawning all over her. You’re looking at her like she’s some kind of saint,” she pointed accusingly at Kasumi. “And you look like a puppy that just got her head scratched.” That accusation went to Akane. “You have no idea what that ‘nice lady’ is, do you?” She watched her sisters’ reactions once again. 

“Father’s old friend,” Kasumi said.

“Yeah,” Akane agreed. “ and she seems pretty nice.”

Nabiki shook her head. Those two were so naïve. She elected to explain it to them in stages. “Oh yes, she’s father’s ‘old friend’ all right. An old female friend. An old female friend from over twenty years ago. An old female friend from over twenty years ago, he spent a year with. An old female friend from over twenty years ago, that he spent a year with, that just happens to look like Mom. Now do you understand?”

A “No”, and “Not really,” were Nabiki’s answers.

“Do you two think it’s some kind of coincidence she just happens to look like Mom?” 

“Well…” Kasumi was still having difficulty grasping what Nabiki was hinting at.

Akane was having just as hard a time. “Are you saying she’s some kind of replacement for Mom?” Akane wasn’t sure if she liked that.

Nabiki spun on her in anger. Akane was shocked to see tears forming in her eyes. “You’re such an idiot! She isn’t Mom’s replacement! Mom was HER replacement!”

Akane and Kasumi simply stared on in shock.

Shampoo-kun was not a happy person. He had been nailed by that damn old lady again. Why his senses seemed to shut down whenever he got near that aging sack of flesh was beyond his understanding. He actively tried to stay far away from the house. Yet if he wasn’t concentrating, he always seemed to go past it and get nailed with some water. Maybe it was some kind of bizarre Jusenkyou Cursed People Seeking Water or something. There had to be some kind of explanation. Perhaps taking the bucket from her would help. 

It was with a heavy tread he entered the Tendo house, still feeling weak from the effects of the poisoning from the day before. But at the rate it was fading he should be back to normal within another day. Then he could train in earnest. Though there was more than a little concern over the fact that Ranma had accepted a fight on the same day. Curse him. Why couldn’t he have made it earlier or later? Shampoo-kun had to train specifically to combat Mousse’s long range abilities. Mousse was up to something, and he had to be prepared to deal with absolutely anything the blind one could throw at him. He needed Ranma to help. But Ranma had his own problems with the impostor Ranma. Things couldn’t possibly get worse.

Shampoo-kun turned the corner and recalled a very important fact of life, one he should never have forgotten, having fallen victim to it repeatedly the last few months: It can always get worse.

Silk had been talking with Soun Tendo until a moment ago. Now she had turned to see Shampoo-kun standing there. Hair standing on end as he drew back with a look of total shock on his face. It only took a moment for her to come to an assumption. 

“Oh no! I’m not your mother. I just look a great deal like her. My name is Silk.” The Amazon had no desire to cause yet another one of what she assumed was Soun’s children to pass out.

Shampoo-kun relaxed enough to appear simply confused, trying to understand why she seemed to think he believed she was his mother.

“Actually,” Soun cleared his throat in explanation. “He’s not my son. That is a guest who’s staying with us. His name is actually—“

“Ranma Saotome,” Shampoo-kun quickly said and bowed before Silk, thanking the kami that he was in male form when he entered the house.

“Err, right. Ranma Saotome.” Soun went along, despite his confusion.

“Saotome?” Silk asked suspiciously as a light frown creased her brow. “As in Genma Saotome’s son?”

“Yes,” Shampoo-kun said meekly. What had ‘Pop’ done now?

“You don’t look a thing like him.” Her suspicious glare went to a relaxed one. “Good for you. I must say, I’m shocked anyone would be desperate enough to marry him. He was pretty much spineless pond scum when I knew him. You do remind me of someone I know, though.”

A huge sweatdrop formed behind Shampoo-kun’s head. Just as he was about to panic Soun inadvertently came to his rescue.

“He wasn’t as bad as all that.” Soun came to his absent friend’s defense. “And he’s gotten better over the years.” 

If he had truly gotten better over the years, Shampoo-kun shuddered to think of what he must have been like in his youth. The more likely explanation was that Soun was judging his friend through the rose colored glasses of friendship. Still, as long as he didn’t mess up with the attempted deception, all should be fine. Of course there was still the little matter of what Silk was doing at the Tendo house in the first place. Had she heard there was a Shampoo living here and investigated? Was all this on her own initiative, or was she the scout for a much larger force? There were too many questions unanswered, and that lack of information might blow Shampoo’s cover.

“Oh, welcome back, Shampoo. How do you feel?” Kasumi asked as she came down the stairs.

“You is mistaken, Kasumi. It’s just me, Ranma,” Shampoo-kun quickly said, hoping the eldest Tendo daughter picked up on the hint. 

“Oh. Yes. Sorry about that, Ranma.” Kasumi quickly looked around for some of Shampoo-kun’s school mates.

The reference didn’t slip by Silk. “Did you say Shampoo? She wouldn’t happen to be from China, would she?”

“Nonono,” Shampoo-kun said, silently praying Silk would quickly forget the line of questioning, while knowing better. “She a redhead from Hokkaido, Japan.”

“Oh,” Silk said. Shampoo-kun would have sworn he saw something shine in Silk’s eye as she continued. “I would like to meet her though.”

Great. She wasn’t going to let it go. Now Shampoo-kun was going to have to intercept Ranma and his father, lest Silk catch them in the lie.

“Tell me about yourself, Silk.” Shampoo-kun asked. Once he was openly informed of who Silk was, he might be able to explain later if he let some personal knowledge of her accidentally slip. And the others would have to be informed of her status as an Amazon. 

Silk told him she was an old friend of Soun’s and gave some background information about herself. Shampoo-kun noted she never referred to herself as an Amazon or hailing from Joketsuzoku. She simply said she was from China. The others didn’t appear to have any idea of the danger she represented.

Once he received the information and answered some questions as Ranma would, he grabbed some water and hurried outside to cut off the Saotomes. He made it just in time to spot a very male Ranma coming up the walk with his father. The two were still arguing over his father’s stupidity in teaching such a dangerous attack to someone he barely knew, as well as engaging Ranma for food again.

A splash of water hit Ranma as he was about to enter the house. “Whad’ya do that for?!” Ranma-chan shouted angrily at the Amazon.

Shampoo-kun quickly explained the situation.

“Great,” Genma said dryly. “The last thing we need is that worthless woman hanging around here.”

“What did you do to her, Pop?” Ranma-chan asked while Shampoo-kun stared angrily at the derogatory way in which ‘Pop’ spoke about Silk.

“Nothing, for a change,” he admitted. “She’s just a very annoying person that takes a great deal of delight in cutting me down.”

“Like we all don’t get our kicks from doing that, Old Man.” 

Shampoo-kun headed off the impending argument. There was no time for horseplay. He helped create a fake past for the red-head so they could use it when Silk asked her inevitable questions.

“I think I’ve got it. I’m from Hokkaido and I’m Akane’s cousin, Shampoo, who’s staying for a while.” Shampoo-kun nodded his head as Ranma-chan added a little more. “I’d better introduce myself out loud so everyone else knows the story. I don’t want Akane to let it slip I’m her fiancee or we’re going to have a lot of explaining to do.” 

“And no let her see your martial arts,” Shampoo-kun supplemented.

“How come? You know we gotta start practicing for those upcoming matches.”

Shampoo-kun shook his head. “If she sees us use even one Amazon technique she going to suspect something.”

“I think I understand what you mean,” Ranma-chan said. “We’ve been using those techniques for so long I can’t remember the last time I’ve fought without using them. Damn! We need to start preparing for those matches.”

“She won’t be here more than a day. I not worried.” Shampoo-kun’s attitude did not match what he felt inside. He needed to start practicing for that match. He couldn’t lose. Not to Mousse. 

Shampoo-kun headed inside a few minutes before Ranma-chan and Genma, then managed to get all of the Tendo girls together and explain the situation. Silk and Soun were so busy talking and laughing with one another they didn’t even notice Shampoo-kun’s furtive actions. 

Genma and Ranma-chan entered, then promptly acted surprised at Silk’s presence. The Amazon greeted Genma in the same manner she had employed when she last saw him so many years ago.

“I see you’ve gotten even fatter and more repulsive than before. At least that stupid looking bandanna you always wore serves a purpose now. It helps to keep the gleam from that balding dome of yours from blinding me. You have my thanks.” For the first time since her arrival, Silk had switched from her pleasant, even voice to a more scathing one. 

“You’re welcome. I see you look even older than your fifty-five years would indicate,” Genma shot back.

“You mean this?” Silk ran her hand through several of her graying locks. “I have gone a bit prematurely gray, I’ll admit. Everyone else thinks it adds a distinguished quality to an already pleasant woman. And that’s forty-five, not fifty-five.” She corrected with a wide smile, one that made Genma suddenly remember that Silk had been a very able fighter in her youth. And she didn’t look out of shape in the least.

“Would you two settle down? I’d rather you got along with one another since we haven’t had a reunion like this in years.” Soun tried to placate the duo.

“Very well,” Silk said as Genma nodded his head in reluctant agreement. Silk then turned her attention to ‘Shampoo.’ After several minutes of interrogation, delivered so pleasantly that it seemed to be nothing more than polite conversation, Silk determined there was no chance Ranma-chan was the Shampoo who she was thinking of. 

Ranma-chan noticed Akane was in an unpleasant mood, presumably unrelated to anythng Ranma-chan had done. She made up some excuse for the two of them to go up to Akane’s room so they could talk in private. Once the door was closed the two began to converse quietly. 

“What’s wrong?” Ranma-chan asked, the concern on her face evident. 

“It’s Silk,” Akane explained. “Nabiki seems to think that since Dad knew her before Mom, that Mom was some sort of replacement for her since the two look alike. I don’t see the resemblance myself, but I don’t really remember what Mom looked like either.”

“Do you think it’s true? That she’s some sort of replacement?” Ranma-chan asked.

“I don’t know what to think.” Akane ran her hand through her hair in frustration. “On one hand, what Nabiki says makes sense. On the other hand, I don’t believe Dad thought of Mom that way. I’m sure he loved her. And then there’s how I feel when I look at her.”

“How do you feel?” Ranma-chan inquired. She wasn’t used to Akane being this open with her.

“When she smiles at me, I feel happier than I’ve felt in a long time.” Ranma-chan took note of Akane smiling as she thought of Silk. Akane continued. “I guess it might have to do with the fact that maybe she really does look like Mom. I know I shouldn’t feel that way. I mean, maybe Nabiki’s right, and in some way I am betraying Mom’s memory. But Silk just seems so nice that I can’t help it.”

Ranma-chan stood next to Akane and placed her hands on the dark-haired girl’s shoulders. “I think you’ve got nothing to be ashamed about. She seems like a nice person and she reminds you of your Mom. That’s no big deal. I don’t think you’re betraying the memory of anyone, and I’m sure your Mom would want you to be happy.”

Akane was a little taken aback by Ranma-chan’s opinion. It made sense and she unquestionably felt better. Not always an emotion she felt when dealing with her fiancee. “Thank you, Ranma.”

“Hey, it’s no problem.” She shrugged. “I just hope she leaves soon so we can practice for that upcoming fight.”

Akane agreed and the two started discussing what they should do for the upcoming duels.

Several hours later, Shampoo-kun looked worriedly at Kasumi as she prepared dinner. The girl appeared unquestionably distraught over something. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Kasumi paused a moment in her cooking, then continued. “It’s nothing.”

That hurt. It was obvious something was bothering her and she didn’t want to open up to him. “Kasumi,” he said softly, “please tell me.”

She didn’t look up from her cooking as she answered him. “I don’t want to trouble you.”

He moved next to her and gently cradled her chin in his hand, delicately moving it back towards him in the hopes Kasumi wouldn’t resist. Kasumi followed the motion until they stared at one another. “There nothing you can do that would ever trouble me. Please tell.”

Kasumi felt her resolve weaken as he looked at her in that soft caring way he possessed. She really didn’t want to trouble him, but he was just so persuasive when he did things like that. “It’s Silk.”

Shampoo-kun thought he understood. “You concerned because she might find me as a girl-type? No worry. I’m not going to change until she’s gone. As long as I stay away from hot water it no problem.” 

“I am concerned about that, but that’s not it.” She paused a moment, then continued. “Nabiki seems to think Mother was some sort of replacement for her in Father’s eyes. I know that’s not true. I remember exactly how much he was broken up inside when Mother died. Although I do find the resemblance uncanny. I’m positive it’s some sort of coincidence.”

Shampoo-kun nodded his head in agreement, solely to assuage Kasumi and make her feel better. It was the Amazon’s instinct that Nabiki might be closer to the truth than Kasumi, but voicing that opinion would just upset the girl.

“Silk was in here earlier while father talked with Mr. Saotome. She was helping me make dinner,” Kasumi said as she turned away from Shampoo-kun and began to prepare food once more.

“And?” 

Kasumi paused in her work. “At first it was perfectly fine. She was simply helping me with the preparations. Then she made a suggestion about how to prepare something and I found myself automatically and happily obeying her, almost as though I wanted to. It took me a moment, but I realized that I was waiting for her to say something so I could follow her instructions. Even though I’ve been running things in here for years without anyone helping me, I was suddenly taking a secondary role in my own kitchen.”

“That’s bad?” Shampoo-kun asked.

“Oh no!” Kasumi shook her head vigorously. “It’s not that it’s bad. It’s just that I was eager to follow her instructions, like it was the most natural thing in the world.” Her voice began to sound more depressed. “I…it’s just that, I guess she really does remind me of Mother. I mean, they are different. I remember what Mother looked like a lot better than Nabiki does, and even thought there is a strong superficial resemblance, there are a lot of differences too. Physically. But the way Silk acts, that’s different. As much as she looks like Mother, she acts even more like her.”

“She’s the mother of us all,” Shampoo-kun suddenly said, as though he were a million miles away.

That managed to lose Kasumi. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Shampoo-kun came back to reality. “Silk is sort of an unofficial teacher in village. She very skilled at many things and knows how to teach so you learn really good. Everyone likes her. Almost all the girls in village learn under her at one point in life. She is very nice and motherly the way she teach everyone. So we all call her our second mother. Many girls confide in her before their own mothers.” He became quiet for a moment. “Even Shampoo do once.” 

Shampoo-kun shook out of his reverie once more. “So no feel bad if she reminds you of your mother. That’s just the way she is. Just hope she doesn’t decide you make her angry.”

“What do you mean?” Kasumi asked.

Shampoo-kun gave a soft chuckle. “Great-grandmother once say Silk has a honeyed tongue that spits acid. If you make her angry she goes from being motherly to being a very stern person. I once see her make a tough twenty year old Amazon break down and cry just by yelling at her. The most amazing thing was, she not ridiculed by others for doing that. Everyone just glad Silk not do that to them.” Shampoo-kun stopped laughing and continued. “She not do that often though. Usually she is a very nice person. I like her a lot. I just wish I no have to hide.”

“I understand. She sounds like a very nice person.”

“She is,” Shampoo-kun agreed.

“I just wish she didn’t remind me of Mother so much. It makes me realize how much I miss her.” 

The Amazon heard the soft sigh Kasumi gave. Instinctively he placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. “If you want to talk to me about it I always there.”

She squeezed his hand gently, then released it. “I know. Thank you.” 

Genma scowled at the returned Amazon and Soun. The duo were talking on the back porch like there wasn’t anyone else in the world, laughing and discussing about the times past. Genma couldn’t understand why. A great deal of that time with Silk was spent running from people that either they had angered or Happosai had stolen from. The only pleasant thing about Silk’s presence was that she was able to deal with the master. The rest of it was pretty miserable.

And once more Genma felt left out, just like back then. When he suggested to Soun they play some Shogi, he simply waved Genma off and told him there would be time for that later. Now all Genma could do was stare at the board and look at the pieces.

“Looking for company, Mr. Saotome?”

Genma turned to see Nabiki sit down at the opposite side of the board. She was the last person in the house he wanted to compete with. She was an absolute cutthroat at the game and he could never cheat around her. 

“I’ll play with a handicap,” she added.

That was different. Genma quickly set up the board and began to compete. She allowed him the first three moves to even things up. She hadn’t completed her first move before she started revealing the real reason for her appearance. 

“So, what do you think of Silk?” 

Genma snorted derisively at that. “I try not to think about her.” Genma finally took a good look at Nabiki’s face and didn’t like what was there. Her usual ice-like exterior was marred by a look of anger. An anger directed at the newcomer to the household. 

“What kind of relationship did she have with Daddy?” 

Genma adjusted his glasses at that question. “I hate to say it, but those two were almost inseparable once they met. Their relationship was, ah, very physical in nature. Oh, don’t get me wrong. The talked and did other things too.” Much to Genma’s chagrin. Soun saw to it he still paid attention to his friend, but the majority of his time was taken up with his girlfriend all that time ago. As Genma related what had happened in the past, he saw Nabiki’s anger grow. He would hate to get in between those two if they should butt heads with one another.

Silk could feel the stare of the middle Tendo child burn into her back. A good thing she knew the girl represented no physical threat. Despite that, Silk had to actively suppress her desire to scare the girl off. It was very distracting to have someone that didn’t like you right at your back. Best spot for one to place a dagger.

The pleasant conversation with Soun had gone on long enough. Silk had enjoyed every word the two of them had shared since her return, but the hour was growing late and there were some things she had to get clear before deciding on her next course of action. She had deliberately skipped over anything relating to his wife for fear of what direction the conversation might take. But if Soun gave the wrong answer to her questions, their reunion would be cut short. 

“Soun,” she began as nicely as she could. “Do I look so much like your dead wife?”

She saw him tense up. So he had expected her to ask. Good. It meant he remembered what she was like. 

“Yes. You do.”

She sighed to herself. It appeared she was going to have to drag it out of him. “Why?”

Silk was amazed at how depressed she felt at the hurt look Soun gave her. He took a deep breath and began. “When you broke up with me. I was hurt. Very hurt. I felt so badly I didn’t even get worked up over the master’s treatment of myself and Saotome. For a while.”

“I’m sorry, but it had to be done. It was for both of our sakes.” Silk was afraid the conversation would come to this.

“So you said at the time.” There was pain in his voice, even after all the decades.

She felt her control over emotions begin to loosen itself. That was a surprise. She didn’t think it would still bother her that much, not after so much time had passed. It took a great effort for her to compose herself. “We both know you wanted to settle down and raise a family. I still wanted to travel the world. In order for us to have continued our relationship, one of us would have had to give up our dreams. I was neither prepared to yield mine, nor have you give up yours. I cared about you too much.”

“You never even asked me.” There was even more pain in his voice.

Silk felt her control slipping again. She had no idea hearing him like this would make her feel this way. It had been over twenty years and she had believed she was over it. “I didn’t want you to have to make that sort of choice. It wasn’t my right to force you to choose like that.” 

“Was that the real reason you didn’t ask?” 

That was far from the whole truth, but looking into his eyes, Silk thought he might have figured it out. She had always regarded herself as the smarter of the couple, but Soun was able to read her emotions far too easily. It was one of the things about him that vexed her so. Yet at the same time it was also one of the things that drew her to him as well. Such was the effect Soun Tendo produced. Love and fear. Strong emotions from one who prided herself as a master of control. Was it any wonder she still found herself attracted to him after all this time? She silently decided it was time to come clean. 

“No. There was another reason why I didn’t ask.” Silk was surprised to hear the emotion in her own voice. “I was honestly afraid you’d beg me to stay. And I was afraid I might give in to you.

“It would have been terrible for both of us, Soun. I might have been able to settle down for a while. Maybe even long enough to bear a child or two. But in the end I would either have left you or resented you for tying me down when what I had always wanted to do was wander the world. It would have meant sacrificing my dreams for you. Yes, I might have done it, but I don’t think I’d have been happy. Not totally. There would have been too much doubt within me, and I have little hesitancy to believe it would have poisoned our relationship in the end. I wanted a clean break from you and to still have the wonderful memories of our year together. Better that than to have you at my side and hate what had happened. Now do you understand?” 

Soun considered her words carefully. “If you had asked, I would have postponed my dreams and waited for you.”

Silk felt the heat rise to her cheeks. She didn’t believe he’d have gone that far. 

“I’m glad you didn’t,” he added.

That was cause for confusion. “Why?”

Soun was uncertain whether to proceed. No. He had started that line of conversation. He would go on. “Because then I would never have met Kimiko.

“As I said, I was broken hearted when you called things off. It took me months to recover. Then one day I spotted Kimiko. At first I thought it was you and that you had come back to me. Once she got closer I knew she wasn’t you, but there was a remarkable physical resemblance. That was enough for me to ask her out on a date, which she accepted. Within the first five minutes of our conversation I knew she was nothing like you.” Soun quickly realized that came out wrong. “What I mean to say is, there were a lot of differences between you, but you were a lot alike as well. In the ways that matter, anyway. She was a soft and gentle woman, yet there was a firmness about her that was strong as steel. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with her. We were married within the year, and had Kasumi shortly thereafter. I never regretted a moment we had in our all too short time together.”

Soun was afraid Silk would be angry at him for saying such things. He knew she had a wicked temper and a vile tongue that could hurt as much as any weapon. She employed both on Happosai when he tried to molest her. It didn’t take long for the master to avoid her most of the time. Startlingly enough, Silk was smiling at him.

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” she said.

“You are?” She was surprising him once again.

“If you had told me you married her for any reason other than true love, I would have walked out that door immediately.” She saw the confusion on his face and quickly explained herself. “The Soun Tendo I knew and fell in love with would never have married a woman for any reason other than love. If you had married her simply because she reminded you of me, I would never have forgiven you for lying to her and your children.”

“Well, I’m glad you feel that way.” Soun then asked the question that had been eating away at him. “Are you sorry that you never asked?”

Silk shook her head. “I won’t claim I never had second thoughts, but no, I’m not. I’ve led a great and wondrous life. Much happiness. Much pain. Some regrets. But never enough to make me sorry I broke things off. Never.”

“That makes me happy. How ironic.” He scratched his chin in thought. “At the time, we hurt each other a great deal by the choices we made. But in the end, the more painful decision was the one that led us to even greater happiness.”

There was one last thing she had to mention. “Soun, explain to your daughters what the relationship between myself and their mother was. Explain it all to them. They really need to know.”

“They know I loved their mother!” 

Silk shook her head. “They’re young, and given to misunderstandings. For instance, your middle child is looking at me as though she would like to sink a knife in my back at the first available opportunity. Just do it so they feel reassured, and so I can calm my paranoia.”

Soun looked over his shoulder and saw Nabiki quickly turn away. Silk was right, as usual, he was going to have to explain things.

Silk got up and began to stretch her legs. The two had sat still and talked for hours. Soun saw her motion and did likewise. 

The sun had almost set by the time she realized how late it was. “I’d better get going. It’s getting late.”

“Do you have a place to stay?” he asked.

“No. Can you recommend a good hotel?” 

“I won’t hear of you staying at a hotel!” he proclaimed. “You can stay in a spare bedroom.”

She considered the request. “Very well, I accept. Make certain you tell your daughters right away, though. Otherwise they are going to really go crazy. There’s no telling what they might think will happen if the two of us were to stay under the same roof together.” She gave him a seductive wink in addition to the statement.

He blushed furiously at that. “I’ll be sure to tell them.” As he went to go into the house he decided to ask the one final question on his mind. “Did you ever marry?”

“Why, no. I didn’t.” 

“How come?” he asked.

Silk gave him that seductive smile she unleashed upon him so many times in their youth. “Because no man has ever compared to you.”

Soun’s blush doubled.

“Are you crazy?!” Akane shouted at her father. 

“What do you mean?” The hard part of explaining things to the girls was over. But when he mentioned Silk was staying, the three looked at each other in concern.

“She’s an Amazon, Father.” Kasumi explained in a much more pleasant tone. “And she personally knows Shampoo. If she sees him…I mean her transform, she’ll try to take her to China.”

“Silk’s an Amazon? You must be mistaken. She would have told me.” He shook his head. “No. She comes from a small village in the western regions of China. The name of her village was…” He trailed off as he suddenly remembered what the name of it was. Joketsuzoku. “Sorry about that.” Another thought occurred to him. “Maybe it’s a good thing she was always better at martial arts than me. If I had beaten her…” He allowed the thought to trail off. 

Nabiki still didn’t look terribly pleased by the explanation her father had given concerning Silk. “Why don’t you just send her to a hotel? Tell her there isn’t enough room, which would be the truth.”

“No,” Soun scowled in Nabiki’s direction. “I promised her she could stay, and I’ve made up my mind.”

“All right.” Nabiki relented. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Her presence here is going to cause nothing but trouble.” As though it hadn’t already. 

Soun saw there was going to be no further arguments. “Good! I’ll let her stay in Shampoo’s room. But that means Shampoo will have to stay with someone else.”

“She can stay with me, Father.” Everyone was a bit taken aback by the enthusiasm Kasumi demonstrated in volunteering. Raising her hand and waving it back and forth to get everyone’s attention was a bit much.

“Wait a minute.” Akane realized there was a slight problem. “Shampoo’s going to be a guy the whole time. And since Silk doesn’t know Shampoo is impersonating Ranma, it’s going to look really suspicious if Ranma impersonating Shampoo is staying with Mr. Saotome and Shampoo impersonating Ranma is staying in someone else’s room, when it should be Shampoo impersonating Ranma sleeping with Mr. Saotome and Ranma impersonating Shampoo sleeping in the room Silk’s sleeping in.”

There was a collective blink.

“I don’t understand,” Kasumi said as she tried sorting through what was just said. Soun nodded in agreement as he felt a migraine coming on. Nabiki remained silent, confident she could decipher Akane’s statement no matter how challenging it was.

“That made sense to me when I started out, but I think I lost it somewhere in the middle.” Akane said, now thoroughly confused herself.

“No,” Nabiki said as she finally got it in semi-logical order. “What you’re saying is, we have to pretend Ranma was sleeping in the room Silk now has. That means that, as a girl, he is going to have to sleep with someone else.”

“So it did make sense? Good.” Akane was more than a little happy all that thinking hadn’t been wasted.

“That means it will be Ranma sharing someone else’s room?” Kasumi asked.

Akane nodded in response. 

“It wouldn’t be proper for him to sleep in my room then, even as a girl.” Kasumi looked a little downfallen.

“Shampoo was going to be a guy when you volunteered the first time.” Nabiki smiled as she informed her sister.

Kasumi blushed at that. “Yes. Well, she’s really a girl, so it would have been all right.”

Nabiki leaned in close and whispered in Kasumi’s ear. “Nice try, Sis.”

Akane spotted her father get an all too familiar look in his eyes. “I have to talk to Saotome about this.”

Now Akane was really worried.

“You get all your things out of your room?” Ranma-chan whispered to Shampoo-kun. If Silk had managed to spot the bonbori or sword, she would almost have certainly suspected the truth.

“Yes,” Shampoo-kun answered, then turned his attention to the two fathers, who had gathered everyone together to discuss sleeping arrangements.

“Since Silk will be sleeping in Shampoo’s room,” Soun announced. “We felt it appropriate that Shampoo stay with Akane for this evening.” 

“You two have fun,” Genma added.

Identical looks of shocked surprise alighted upon three faces.

“No way!” Ranma-chan said.

“You’ve got to be kidding!” Was Akane’s response.

“That no fair!” Shampoo-kun shouted.

“Well, what do you think we should do?” Soun asked of the currently black-haired Amazon.

“Answer is simple.” Shampoo-kun sniffed in the air. “Shampoo can stay with Pop and me. Like she’s done before.”

Ranma-chan was trying to figure out if staying with her father and Shampoo-kun was such a good idea when Akane spoke up.

“She can stay with me,” she sighed reluctantly.

“You no sound very happy about that,” Shampoo-kun said, seeing his chance for spending a night sleeping in the same room with Ranma-chan slipping by.

“Well, I am happy. It just took me by surprise,” Akane retorted by sniffing at the air as well. That particular motion caught Shampoo-kun off guard momentarily, then caused him to get a facial twitch from the response. 

“Doesn’t anyone care about what I have to say?” Ranma-chan asked.

A chorus of “No!”s met her in response as the four people treating her like a piece of meat continued their argument of why it was best for her to sleep in either Akane’s room or with Shampoo-kun. The dark-haired Amazon quickly lost the fight, due to superior numbers and having a visitor’s status as Ranma-chan was chosen to sleep in Akane’s room.

As the fight was over everyone elected to retire to their respective rooms. There was more than a little nervousness as Akane helped Ranma-chan bring up an extra futon to the bedroom (much to the disappointment of the pair of fathers). The two set up the redhead’s sleeping spot.

Ranma-chan noticed an addition to the room. “How nice of Pop and Mr. Tendo to leave a hot water bottle filled with hot water nearby,” she commented dryly as she sloshed the water in the offending object around, then threw it out the window.

Akane began to lay down the ground rules. “Don’t you dare try to do anything. I’m only letting you sleep here because there isn’t enough space.” 

“Why would I want to do anything with you?” Ranma-chan said flatly.

“Just…just never mind.” Akane was too flustered to think of a decent comeback.

“If it bothers you that much I can sleep with Pop,” Ranma-chan offered.

“You mean sleep with Shampoo, don’t you!” Akane shot at him angrily.

“She’s going to be a guy for crying out loud, Akane!” The redhead attempted to calm her down. She didn’t feel like getting hammered tonight. “And you know I ain’t a pervert.” 

“All right,” Akane growled back. “Let’s just get some sleep.” 

Each person left the room while the other one changed. Once in nighttime attire they laid down in their respective spots and attempted to get some sleep. Each with their back to the other. After a while it became apparent to each of them that sleep was going to be no easy task.

“Why should I be worried about being in the same room with Akane?” Ranma-chan thought to herself as she stared wide eyed at the wall. “She won’t try anything.” Somehow, that thought did nothing to ease her emotions.

Akane wasn’t much better as her eyes were wide open and she tried to listen to Ranma-chan’s breathing, silently wondering if her new roommate was asleep. It didn’t seem to matter that Ranma was a girl at the moment. It still felt too much like the redhead was a boy, and that was far from a comforting feeling.

Downstairs, the rest of the house lacked the stillness that should have been present at the late hour. Within a half hour after Ranma-chan and Akane retired, Genma rose from his bed and collected Soun from his room. The two fathers grabbed some glasses from the kitchen to help them listen at a door, then quietly sneaked up the stairs to get next to Akane’s bedroom. Both were surprised to see Nabiki already there with a much more sophisticated listening device attached to the door.

“What’s going on?” Genma asked.

Nabiki remained silent and simply held out her hand. Genma quickly coughed up a small amount of money, which Nabiki looked at in disgust, then relented by placing it in her pocket and informing him.

“Nothing.” 

Genma quietly facefaulted and was about to demand his money back when Nabiki quietly assured him she would let him hear the good stuff when it came on. The three sat back and waited for something momentous to happen.

The trio at the door were not the only ones still awake. Shampoo-kun knew what the fathers were up to. When Genma left the Saotomes’ bedroom Shampoo-kun leaped out the window and jumped up to the tree that overlooked Akane’s room. From his perch he could see perfectly inside. If Akane even thought of trying anything, Shampoo-kun would be in there in a flash.

Silk listened carefully to the sounds of three pairs of feet moving throughout the house. She quietly exited her room, making certain her loose nightclothes didn’t reveal anything, and moved silently as well. She walked far enough up the stairs to see the fathers and Nabiki listening at the door to Akane’s room. Silk just gave a sad nod and started to head back downstairs when she detected a fourth intruder. A clumsy one since she could clearly hear the footfalls of a lightweight person make their way through the house. Silk quietly walked halfway down the stairs, and was about to creep into the hallway the intruder was located in when she stepped on a loose floorboard. The creak was all it took for the Silk to hear the intruder react. 

Silk leaped down the rest of the stairs and into the corridor. The Amazon was totally stunned by the sight before her. She would have sworn that the intruder was a lightweight person, but evidently she had been mistaken since it was quiet obviously a huge pig-like creature standing in the middle of the hall. It was beyond Silk’s comprehension how something that looked liked it weighed close to a half ton and stood as high as her chest could possible move that silently. Even in the moonlit corridor, Silk thought the species of animal it represented was familiar. She wasn’t given time to remember what book she had seen it in when the animal made a wuffing sound and shook its head.

“Now why do I think you don’t belong here?” she said to the pig-like animal, using a soothing voice in order to calm it down. “I’m pretty sure Birdy is the only pet the Tendo’s have. So where did you come from?”

The pig creature gave a wuffing sound and shook its head to one side.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to tell me to get out of your way.”

To Silk’s surprise, the creature shook its head up and down.

“Well, now. I’ve heard of smart pigs, but you really take the cake. I am afraid I still have to ask you to leave.” Silk continued her steady voice even as her body tensed up and prepared for a conflict.

Silk maintained her ground and allowed her hand to slip inside her nightshirt. She wouldn’t be able to dodge the creature’s attack in the close confines of the hallway, and if she gave ground it would probably charge. She wasn’t to be disappointed as she observed the creature tense up and prepare to move. 

It barreled forward with a loud grunt. Silk’s reaction was almost instantaneous as she pulled out a small, one foot cylinder that telescoped in length to form a steel shod staff. The object shot out and nailed the creature squarely between the eyes, stunning it. Silk quickly gained the initiative and jumped onto the creature’s back, wrapping her thighs around its neck, and began hammering it in the head with the staff. The creature suffered several blows, then charged forward into the living room, trying to gain room to maneuver. Once there it rolled over and nearly crushed the surprised Silk as she barely had time to release the hold and keep from having her legs broken. The creature regained its footing and gazed down at the Amazon, who also quickly regained her feet.

The creature appeared undecided about something when it received a solid blow to the back of its head. The creature was barely able to remain upright when it spotted Shampoo-kun silhouetted in the doorway leading outside. He had thrown a bonbori, which was the missile that had struck the creature in the back of its skull. It quickly tried focusing its rage at the person responsible for ruining its life when it heard others rush down from the upstairs. It was too weakened to risk losing a conflict with the hated Shampoo-kun, so it barreled toward Shampoo-kun, then pivoted at the last moment and ran clean through two walls and out into the midnight air.

Soun hurriedly rushed to Silk’s side and helped her up. Crying with all his might that she had been injured in the fight. Rather than resist, she accepted his tears and smiled at him until he calmed down. It was nice to know he would still get overly emotional over her welfare. 

“What the heck was that?!” Ranma-chan shouted.

“It was a razorback,” Shampoo-kun said loudly enough to inform everyone. “It a giant hog that indigenous to North America. But that one much bigger than any that was listed in the book I read. And I not know what he’s doing in Japan. Or why he attack the house.”

“How do you know so much about razorbacks?” Nabiki asked.

“I ran into that one the other day when it tried to run me down. I looked up information about it.”

“So that’s why you wanted that book,” Nabiki said.

Ranma-chan’s reaction was a little different. “Why didn’t you tell me you got attacked?”

Shampoo-kun snorted in derision. “After what happened with Mou—“ he quickly caught himself, realizing Silk was within earshot. “--with that idiot the other day. I was no really concerned about it.”

“Well, since it attacked the house, we can be fairly certain your encounter with it was no coincidence,” Nabiki said.

“What have you gotten us into now, Ranma?!” Akane shouted at the redhead.

“Look at me when you going to accuse me of doing something uncute, flat chested, ugly looking tomboy!” Shampoo-kun quickly shouted out, hoping Silk wouldn’t notice the error Akane made in addressing the real Ranma by his proper name. Not that applying those terms to Akane wasn’t amusing in and of itself.

It took a moment, but Akane quickly picked up on what was going on and started yelling at Shampoo-kun. “I know you have something to do with this, you idiot!”

Shampoo-kun shook his head. “It an American animal. I never been to America or met anyone that was. I got no idea why it come here.”

“Akane, quit yelling at Shampoo like that! It’s very rude.” Kasumi scolded her sister, also temporarily forgetting the name change.

“She already did Kasumi, but thanks anyway for coming to my defense.” Ranma-chan tried to save some ground, but felt it would take nothing short of a miracle for Silk to not see through everything.

If Silk saw through the deception, she gave no outward indication of it. Rather, she spent the entire time trying to reassure the crying Soun she was perfectly healthy. The attempt to shock him back to reality, by suggesting he find out for himself just how healthy she was, was met with a scowl by Nabiki and concerned looks from Kasumi and Akane. Soun’s words may have been taken at face value, but Silk realized the girls were still ranging from hostile to uncertain when it came to the duo’s relationship. Best not to joke about such things anymore if she wanted to get on the daughters’ good sides.

The group relaxed and went back to their respective bedrooms, including the fathers. All went immediately to sleep, including Akane and Ranma-chan who suddenly didn’t seem to be concerned about the other’s presence.

The next morning Silk set out after assisting Kasumi with breakfast. Everyone stood outside the dojo to see Silk off.

“Are you certain you can’t stay longer?” Soun asked, then received twin elbows in his side from Nabiki and Genma.

“No,” Silk sighed. “Duty calls. I must carry on with my tasks. It was wonderful seeing you again, Soun.” Silk turned to the Tendo girls. “And the three of you. Your father has done a wonderful job of raising you. And you of raising him,” she added with a smile.

Only Nabiki retained a slight scowl as Silk shook each of the girls’ hands and turned to go. If she was ever to return, she would have to tread carefully with that one. It would take a great deal of time and effort to win over Nabiki. And there was no certainty of how much time Silk still had before returning to Joketsuzoku with Cologne. Then there was the matter with how things went with the Musk, and training more of the village girls after that. There was no telling how much time she would have in the near or even distant future.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Shampoo, Ranma.” She went to each of the youths and bowed before them while making certain she missed Genma altogether.

Silk added one final comment. One last thing, Ranma, I love that hairpiece of yours. It's very unique

Shampoo-kun paled at the statement as Silk turned to leave once again. She knew. Silk had seen through everything and knew. Shampoo-kun should have realized the mistake of leaving that thing in his hair. Such an obvious error. The only thing remotely in his favor was that she would never have let Shampoo-kun know if she was going to turn him in. He still had time.

Silk was more than halfway to the end of the street when she gave one last look to the Tendo family. Earlier, she had told Soun that she had no regrets over their breakup. But now, for the first time in almost twenty years, she did. As she looked at those three lovely children and their handsome father, one last thought went through her mind concerning Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane. 

They could have been hers.

Everyone watched Silk walk out of sight and breathe a sigh of relief. Even with Shampoo-kun informing them of what she said, they were still glad she was gone. 

“Time to get packing,” Soun said enthusiastically. “We have to get that training trip going so you three can win your fight.”

Akane exchanged a look with her sisters, then watched the other two nod their heads in silent agreement. “You guys go on ahead,” she told the other four members who were going up to the mountains to train. “Kasumi, Nabiki, and I have some things to do. I’ll catch up to you later.”

Ranma-chan looked concerned at Akane. “What’s up?”

“It’s nothing to worry about.” She smiled at the redhead to reassure her. “We’re just going to visit Mom. We’ve been thinking a lot about her lately and decided it’s time to make a visit.”

“Do you want me to go along?” Soun asked, concerned.

“It’s kind of a ‘girls only’ thing this time, Daddy. If you know what I mean.” Nabiki explained to her somewhat downbeat father. 

Soun nodded his head in understanding and felt a little pang of sorrow, not that he thought they didn’t love him. He knew they did, despite the current set of difficulties. It was just that there were still some things he couldn’t give to them. Things that only their mother could help them with, even in death.

Part 2  
Getting Ready to Rumble

“Are we on? We are? Hi there! This is news person slash intern, Nanami Jinnai here, filling in for your regular reporter, Taki Sato, who is currently ill with a stomach problem. I’m reporting to you from the Eye in the Sky helicopter high above Mt. Terror. There have been recent reports over the last few days of strange sounds and lights emanating from upon the mountain. What could be producing these terrible effects? Aliens? Youmas? A secret government research facility? Bugrom Invasion?

“Our great station has the inside scoop as to the identity of the noisemakers. It was risky, getting so close to the center of the disturbance, but Nanami Jinnai takes that extra step to get you the true story. Now, as our camera with its special extra-powerful zoom lens focuses on the scene below, we see that, in fact, it is not my insane brother attempting to invade our dimension with an army of giant bugs that only he can talk to, but a number of martial artists practicing their craft. 

“Safe, high above their heads, we bear silent witness to their proceedings. Observe as the fellow in the white robes hurls a variety of weapons, and a wheat thresher, at many targets. All the while his weapons cut through the trees and foliage, slowly making it a barren mountain. We fly a couple of miles away to witness a purple-haired girl destroying some makeshift targets of her own. Curiously, these targets look a lot like the white robed youth we just left. In that same clearing we see a young girl that seems to be striking a dark-haired boy with a large wooden mallet. Wow! He’s really traveling. I…LOOK OUT! BANK LEFT!!!

“That was a close one. I wonder what he meant when he cried out ‘uncute, sexless tomboy’ as he flew past. At any rate we turn back to the scene below where we see that dark-haired boy…wait a minute! Where did the purple-haired girl go? She was right there just a second ago. Oh well. The dark-haired boy is working on those familiar targets and…whoa! That guy is almost as good looking as Makato. *Sigh* If only he hadn’t fallen for that damn, walking erector set…

“But I’m getting off the subject. A little further down the mountainside we see yet another area that is rapidly being destroyed. There is a young girl down there fighting while using her food as a weapon. Heh! Gives a whole new definition to the term ‘food fight.’ And lastly we have a rough looking guy that…Wow! He just reduced a boulder into dust with his bare hands. Now his hands are glowing and he’s releasing some kind of light which is destroying things. Whoops! One of his shots went astray. In fact, it looks like it might be heading for…un oh! OH [BEEP]!!! He hit our rotor! This is one of the reasons I left El Hazard! To keep from being attacked by a bunch of weirdos! Oh man, this is going to hurt. This is Nanami Jinnai, signing off.”

At the Saotome encampment, they saw the helicopter land hard, shattering the landing gear and crunching the helicopter down to almost half its original size. After a few moments all of the people pried themselves out of the wreckage, unharmed save for bumps and a few bruises.

Ryu Kumon stared at the trail of smoke from the fallen helicopter for some time. He had never been that clumsy before. But this time was different. In the past, training always helped him focus on his goals. If anything, he got sloppy when he didn’t have time to train. So now that he had the time, he should have been more intent than ever on achieving his goal. Instead, he was allowing stray shots to fly wildly all around. He knew why there was such trouble. His focus was off, and that distraction was growing by the moment, making him even more careless. The source of the distraction was easy to identify. In fact, she was placing her hand on his shoulder to relax him.

“Ranma, relax. If you behave like this you’re going to lose. Concentrate. Focus your desire to one single thing: winning the match. Let that guide you.” Kaori tried reassuring her spouse. She was more than a little concerned about his behavior. Before this challenge came up he was easily the greatest fighter she had ever laid eyes upon. But now he looked nothing like that perfect fighter she had grown to love, making mistakes left and right. That was something he couldn’t afford to do in the upcoming fight. Kaori didn’t know much about the impostor Ranma and Genma, but she knew enough to realize they were highly skilled and dangerous. If her husband didn’t have a near perfect fight, he was going to lose. 

She tried to put his mind at ease once again. “Does your lack of concentration stem from these last two nights? If so you’re being foolish, I don’t expect you to perform every single night. That would be unrealistic.” She failed to notice a sweatdrop form behind his head as she continued. “Besides, sex is a secondary thing. I just love waking up next to you. That’s all that matters to me.”

“It’s not that!” he declared all too quickly. The problems with his nightly performances were mental, not physical, and he knew it. It wasn’t so much that he felt bad about his lack of performance (though it did bother him). It was what that fact represented that really disturbed him. His thoughts and emotions were in such turmoil that it was affecting him physically. And that could only lead to bigger problems for the upcoming fight.

It had never been like this before. In the past he cared about nothing other than discovering the Yamisenken. Fights happened frequently with little regard for the consequences. He had been in life and death struggles when the odds were even greater against him, and yet he had never felt as nervous then as much as he did now. 

The cold fact of the matter was, he no longer gave a damn about the Yamisenken, or his dojo. That truth had become acceptable in the last four days. He couldn’t lie to himself any longer. All that mattered was the name and Kaori. And the name was only important in keeping his wife with him. How greatly he had changed from the rough, street fighter that traveled the world, seeking out a style of martial arts at any price. Now he had been tamed, like so many other married men. Once, long ago, he had remembered hearing about a fighter that the same thing had happen to. He had voiced his opinion that the man had been gelded. Well, now the same thing had happened to him. At least it had happened with his consent, if unknowingly. 

Now that peacefulness was about to be shattered. Unless he could rediscover his focus and defeat his opponent. The real Ranma Saotome. And that was seeming less and less likely by the moment. 

“Kaori? Would you still love me if I had a different name?”

She smiled at him. “Of course I would. It’s not your name I fell in love with. It was you. Now stop talking like that. You’re allowing the idea that you might be beaten enter your mind. With that kind of attitude you’ll lose.” She moved closer and stood on her tiptoes, kissing his forehead. “You are the best fighter in the world. I know you won’t let me down by losing.”

He thanked her and walked off to gain some room so he could practice a few of his more powerful techniques. She would love him even if he lost his name. That was a relief. His concentration increased as he suddenly rediscovered his focus. His moves became flawless for the next fifteen minutes, moving with the powerful grace he exuded when he was in fight. That focus was eventually lost again as yet something else began to bother him. The back of his mind cried out that there was more to it than losing his name. Frustration grew as he further lost control, becoming even more reckless and careless in his katas. Guilt came to the forefront as the realization that the lies he had told Kaori were starting to take their toll in him. A conscience, something he had thought long lost, was making its presence known once again. It just wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t he simply take back the challenge and go back home?

His mind gave in to fantasy as he dreamed of the course he should have taken. They could have built a house somewhere and settled down. No more wandering. No more fighting. Peace. Happiness. A family. Something that had never crossed his mind a year ago. No more than sixteen years of age and already looking forward to settling down to the married life. Learning how to help run a business had begun to sound good. And here he was, throwing it all away for something that could never give him what he wanted. He had initiated a quest to find a martial art that would give him the harmony he so desperately sought his entire life. Instead, he had found the answer in something entirely different. He had found it in the love of the woman at his side.

And now he was in danger of losing it all. 

Ryu sank to his knees, trying to figure a way out of the entire mess his life had become. His mind drew a blank. In frustration he pounded his fists into a stone, pulverizing it into dust. A clapping suddenly came from a nearby tree.

“That rock will never bother you again.”

Ryu looked up to see a youth about his age, standing on a branch in one of the trees, wearing a dragonscale vest with a single matching bracer, and, if Ryu was not mistaken, a pantyhose around his waist.

“What do you want?” Ryu tensed up as he questioned the newcomer. Something about the youth’s stance and sneer suggested he was someone to be reckoned with. And there was some air about him that made Ryu not want to trust him.

“Relax.” Tarou held out his hands in a gesture of peace. “I’m not going to give you any problems, impostor. In fact, if the way your practice is going is any indication of how you’re going to be fighting for that upcoming match, I’m your best friend in the world.”

Ryu didn’t relax. “Somehow, I doubt that very much. And the name’s Ranma Saotome. Remember it!” 

Tarou gave a derisive snort. “You can call yourself Sailor Moon for all I care. The reason I’m here is because I’m going to help you win this fight.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Ryu asked, his suspicion growing by the second. “I don’t know you.”

“But I know Ranma Saotome.” Tarou saw Ryu begin to react in anger. “The other one. And believe me, if you knew him you’d understand why I want to see you kick his ass and take his name.”

“I can take him.” Ryu didn’t like the implication the youth was making.

“The way you’re fighting? Please. He’ll make mincemeat out of you in less than five seconds.” Tarou was beginning to wonder if the impostor was going to make things difficult. All he wanted to do was help. Himself.

“So what can you do to help me?”

At last, Ryu was showing interest. “I can show you his fighting style and weak points. I can tell you how to beat him, easily.”

“I don’t need your help!” Ryu shot back.

Tarou chuckled, eliciting anger in Ryu. “Look at you. You’re so far off your mark it’s hilarious. Mousse could probably take you with one arm tied behind his back. Now, are you really that eager to lose your name?”

Ryu silently cursed himself. Every instinct told him not to trust the boy in front of him. His identity and true purpose were a total unknown. He could be a plant, placed here to give false information. But the consequences of losing were great as well. If the boy before him truly hated the real Ranma, then he could be the edge Ryu was looking for.

“Husband. You do not require his assistance. I have every confidence in you.” Kaori remained a good distance away from her spouse, satisfied that she could support him from a distance and not let it appear she was anything other than a proper wife who was deferential to her mate.

That was all it took to convince Ryu of what to do. Losing his wife was not an option. Any advantage that could help him in his fight would be used. Anything to win. “I accept.”

Tarou leaped down from the tree and went to shake Ryu’s hand. He gave the most convincing smile he could muster, then turned to Kaori. “Since your husband is willing to takes tips from me, how about I tell you a few of that Tendo girl’s weak points. Can’t say I care much for her, since she’s the other Ranma’s fiancee.”

If her husband was willing to go along with Tarou’s plan, she saw no reason why she couldn’t take a few pointers from the newcomer as well. She agreed.

That brought a smile to Tarou’s face. Everything worked out just the way he wanted. He would teach Ryu Fem-boy’s tricks. Ranma would have his head pounded in. Ryu would take away Ranma’s name so that the engagement between Akane and the hermaphrodite would be dissolved. After all, the agreement was to unite the Saotome and Tendo families. But if Ranma wasn’t a Saotome any more, then the engagement would obviously be called off. That would give Tarou his fair shot. Not only that, but he managed to help Akane too. He would give Kaori a bunch of false information and help Akane win with ease. Fem-boy was going to be so humiliated that Tarou considered buying a camera to capture the look on Ranma’s face the moment his life was destroyed. Then he could laugh long and hard about it, enjoying that picture for the rest of his life.

Mousse threw another fifty shurikens into the tree. For the last three days he had been focusing his thoughts on only one thing: defeating Shampoo. This would be his last chance. The final attempt. He couldn’t afford to hold back. Not this time. There was far too much at stake. If he failed, Shampoo would be left in the hands of one of the most evil men that lived and eventually lose her life. Mousse cursed Ranma Saotome for making his life a living hell. Ranma was the one that deserved to be beaten for all the crimes he had done to both him and Shampoo. In fact, Ranma was responsible for the curses as well. If he hadn’t been so careless and knocked Shampoo into the Spring of Young Drowned Man, none of them would be going through the difficulties they now had. And even that could have been forgiven if Ranma hadn’t taken Shampoo away. Together, Mousse and Shampoo could have fled China and gotten married somewhere, keeping a low profile until a solution to their predicament was found.

But that wasn’t the way things had turned out. Now Mousse was being forced to fight the last person in the world he wanted to. Life was cruel and unfair. If he learned nothing else his entire life, he at least learned that. Why all the bad things seemed to happen to him was beyond his understanding. For all his resolve, he felt tears make their presence known.

“Why does it have to be this way?” he said aloud.

“Actually, it doesn’t,” a voice answered back. “You could call off this foolishness and go back to Kodachi, or China. Anywhere on the face of the earth but Nerima. You could probably even stay here if you just kept out of Shampoo’s way.”

Mousse turned to see the figure of one almost despised as Saotome. Cologne made her presence known once again.

“What are you doing here, old hag?!” Mousse was certain she had come to mess things up for him. She always did.

“I should crack your skull for that remark.” She let the implied ‘but’ hang there for a while, then continued. “However, I’ll let it slide this time. You’re going to have enough trouble surviving Shampoo’s onslaught. She won’t go soft on you like she has in the past.”

“Shampoo never took it easy on me.”

Cologne shook her head. “I doubt there is anyone else that could annoy her half as much as you have and still be alive. Or at least not crippled. No. She’s taken it easy on you because she regards you as little more than an annoyance that, at one time, she had feelings for. Though if she has any for you now it would be nothing short of a miracle.”

“She still cares for me. Deep down inside, I know.” 

For the first time in years, Cologne gave up her role as Mousse’s elder and began speaking to him as a person. “Mousse, please give up. For both your sakes. No good will come of this fight and you can’t possibly win. The best way you can help her, and yourself, is to let all of this go. Get on with your life.”

“So you can take her back to China? Your own granddaughter? I’ll never let someone as heartless as you do that to her. I’ll protect her from everyone. I promised myself that and I mean to keep it. Now get out of here! I still have to practice for the duel.”

Cologne remained where she was and watched him employ another volley of weapons. It only took moments for Cologne to realize that he was training in earnest. She carefully watched his movements and knew he was really going to go through with it. This time it would be for real, just as he had promised. With a sigh she turned to go. There had to be some way to help Shampoo. But discretely. Given their current relationship, there was little chance Shampoo would listen to her. No, Shampoo would either run or fight if she spotted Cologne. Assistance would have to be given some other way.

Shampoo went through another pattern of movements. This was getting her nowhere fast. Three days already wasted. What she needed to do was practice against long range weapons and develop strategies against them, not destroying stationary targets that looked like Mousse.

“Ranma,” she called out. “Come over and help me!”

Ranma stopped matching his father’s movements and answered. “I can’t. I gotta learn this Yamisenken stuff. Pop says I can beat him with it.”

Genma smacked Ranma in the head. “Only if you continue to concentrate, boy. If you keep letting yourself be distracted you’ll never learn that technique and you’ll lose your name.”

“Well then, I guess I wouldn’t have to introduce you as my father any more if that happens. Hey! Maybe I should throw the fight?!” he snapped back.

Genma started to retort when Ranma pointed to the ground behind Genma. “Is that your fifty yen piece?”

“Where?” Genma turned to look at the ground Ranma had been pointing. He was only able to look for a moment when a foot met his behind and he was sent into a tree. 

“Talk about easy to distract.” Ranma commented, then turned to Shampoo. “Look. I really wish I had time to help you. But I got my hands full. Maybe if you helped me we could work something out.”

Shampoo shook her head. “I have to train only for Mousse. If I waste time he might beat me. And you know what that means. No. The risk is too, too great.”

Ranma looked somewhat angrily at her. “Well, I gotta keep my family name. It’s real important to me that I keep it y’know?”

Shampoo understood exactly, and came to the same conclusion Tarou had earlier. No name, no engagement. But there was no way she couldn’t root for Ranma. Still, if he lost…

She pushed such thoughts out of her mind. If she didn’t want Ranma to win it would affect her, especially if he really did lose. She just couldn’t imagine herself enjoying Ranma suffering. The feelings ran too deep. This was all proving to be a distraction. Just like the last three days. Every time she found herself starting to concentrate on Mousse, she’d notice Akane and Ranma together, or the fathers would come up with some stupid scheme to get the two closer together. 

A primary example was Soun “accidentally” pouring some water on Ranma’s sleeping bag and making it too wet to sleep in. Just as the duo started to suggest he and Akane share one, Shampoo calmly walked over and handed her sleeping bag to Ranma. She overrode his protests by claiming it wouldn’t be proper for a boy to sleep with a girl. Shampoo said she would share the sleeping bag with Akane, adding an “unless you want to sleep with Ranma” to her. It had the desired effect of Akane loudly proclaiming “NO WAY!!!” and agreeing to share with Shampoo. There had been the smallest fear that Akane would agree to sleeping with Ranma, but it was a risk Shampoo had been willing to take. 

Akane warned her that she better not turn into a guy in the middle of the night. There was no chance of that. Shampoo would have preferred to share a sleeping bag with a nest full of snakes than the violent tomboy, and certainly wouldn’t want to stay close to her as a guy either. Sleep was not easily gained by either one of them that night.

All the constant distractions were beginning to add up. Little to nothing was being accomplished, and the clock was ticking. Mousse had an edge, she was certain of it. And if she wasn’t fighting at close to optimum capacity she could lose. That was not an acceptable option. She viewed losing to him as little more than eternal bondage to his suffocating attention. There was difficulty envisioning life with him. And what she could view was a continuing of what life had been like growing up with him. Even if he changed, what then? Could she grow to love him? Perfume once told her that man had an infinite capacity for change. Of course thirteen year old Shampoo had little ability or desire to listen to such ideas at the time, but now she understood what it meant. If she lost to Mousse, what would the future hold?

The answer was surprisingly simple: A lifetime spent with someone she didn’t love. No matter how much he changed on the outside, deep down he would still be the same boy she had grown up with. She had spent more than enough time with him to understand what he was like even better than himself. Overprotective to the point of attacking a person she honestly loved. Obsessive to the point of willingly causing her pain. Ignorant of her needs and desires, no matter how plainly or violently she stated them. A boy she could never love, just tolerate. No. She would never settle for marriage to someone she could never do anything more than like at the best of times and despise so much of the rest. 

All his actions over the last few months were little more than nails in the coffin of any chance of a relationship, as if there was any chance to begin with. Constant attacks upon Ranma. Placing innocents at risk for his own desires. Assuming he knew better than she did what she wanted. All marks against him. Even when she pointed out the flaws, he ignored them and continued on the way he wanted. No. There were plenty of alternatives to a marriage with him. Locking herself in male form. Dying in battle. 

Killing Mousse.

That was what it looked like it would come down to. She would not lose to him. Never to him. In order to ensure he wouldn’t, she would have to adjust her mindset. Killing was never desirable, and he was a friend so very long ago. How unfortunate there were no other viable alternatives. She had to be prepared for the eventuality and train effectively. Ranma had refused her. Genma was busy teaching him the Yamisenken. Akane had done likewise, saying she had to learn Martial Arts Take Out. Ukyou had supplied some texts on how it was done, but couldn’t spend the time in the mountains to help Akane without her business suffering. So she practiced with her father while learning the counter-techniques. Shampoo was left alone.

Now it was time to come to a decision. Stay and waste time, perhaps eventually losing to Mousse, or go away so she could find someone that would help her in earnest. That choice meant leaving Akane and Ranma alone with only two encouraging fathers as their company. There was no choice. 

“Ranma. Shampoo have to go. Winning is too important to me.” She wanted him to change his mind. Call out that she was more important than defeating the false Ranma. Even though she knew if he sacrificed his time to help her it would only hurt his chances at winning his own fight. There was a part of her that was ashamed of her self-centeredness. Didn’t she accuse Mousse of the selfsame behavior? Why did the fool have to pick the same day for the match as hers? Why were there so many obstacles in her life?

Ranma nodded his head in understanding and began practicing with his father once again. That was more than a little disheartening. Couldn’t he have at least taken out the time to give her a sincere goodbye? She turned in a huff as she went to collect her things.

“WAIT, SHAMPOO!!!” Ranma cried out. “Don’t leave us…”

Shampoo felt her heart soar. Ranma wanted her to stay.

“…alone with Akane’s cooking! If you go, we’ll starve!”

“I haven’t even made anything and you’re already insulting my cooking!” Akane picked up a teflon skillet and threw it at Ranma. He dodged the first projectile as Akane went for more cooking weaponry and continued hurling them at Ranma.

Shampoo shook her head in disgust and left Mt. Terror to return to Nerima.

Epilogue

Mousse concentrated, assuming the position he had been taught. His arms held high above the head and the hands pointed forward, standing on one leg like a crane. All day he felt himself just on the verge of employing the technique. Just a little more and he would master it. He had to. It was for Shampoo’s sake. If he couldn’t discover the proper use of it, he could lose to her, just like he had all his life. He allowed his frustration that had built up over the years to grow…

At last, he felt the chi energy form in front of him. For the first time in his life he was able to effectively tap into his own body’s unique chi abilities. There was only a dim awarness of the small white light that formed in front of him. Quickly it grew to a man-sized blob, building steadily up until it suddenly shot forward, taking the form of a giant white eagle that seemed to soar forward at an incredible speed. The chi bird smashed into a grove of trees, shattering several of them into kindling. He fell to his knees, a feeling of being utterly drained ran throughout his body. It didn’t matter how tired he felt. His heart was racing. At long last he had mastered the Soaring Eagle Strike. Shampoo could not win.

Mousse laughed long and hard for the first time in years, tears of joy streaming from his eyes. Happiness was only ten days away.

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Special Thanks to:

Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Shadowmage  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	23. Five Thunders

Prologue

Tenchi Masaki flipped through the pages of the book once again as he strolled through the streets of Nerima. It was kind of his grandfather to loan him the book of Jurai advanced sword techniques. Who knew, maybe with the new advanced lessons he would finally be able to defeat Yosho in one of their sparring sessions.

And maybe Ryo-Ohki would give up carrots.

The little visit was cause for worry. His father had been talking about moving from out in the countryside to Nerima, his old childhood home, and wanted Tenchi to visit the area and get a feel for it, to see if moving there was acceptable to him. At first the idea of moving into a major metropolitan area was more than a little frightening. He had been afraid for the lives of the citizens of the area. The pitched battles between Ayeka and Ryouko could level whole city blocks at a time if they really went at it. And then there were Washuu’s experiments, Mihoshi’s crash landings, Ryo-Ohki in general, and everything else chaotic that seemed to happen in his once peaceful life. 

Now he was becoming a little less wary at the idea as he saw some of the things that went on in the district without a second glance. It seemed hordes of martial artists were fighting in the streets. Four roller skaters, two calling themselves the Golden Pair were fighting a masked couple, a woman and man calling themselves Rose and Thorn, and were destroying sections of the town in an effort to defeat one another. A pretty girl who wore a beret and bore two giant, metal, combat cooking whisks walked the city streets. Two masters of Martial Arts Miming were fighting by pretending to strike one another, then silently reacting to the blows. A big ugly man on a street corner wore a sign that read, “Will destroy dojos for food.” And the list went on and on.

Tenchi was so caught up in studying the book that he didn’t notice someone running towards him at top speed. The running figure smashed into him from behind and knocked Tenchi into the ground, nearly breaking the pavement. The book went flying as Tenchi suddenly found his head stepped on and drilled into the street. 

The youth who ran him over didn’t even slow down as he continued his top speed flight. “Forget it, Lum! I’m going out with Ran and that’s final!” Ataru shouted as he continued his full speed flight.

Tenchi picked himself up off the ground as he tried assessing what damage he took in the trampling attack. 

“Darling! Come back to me!” Lum shouted at Ataru’s back as he tried increasing his speed yet again to evade the pursuing oni. Lum flew past Tenchi and paused a moment to make certain her darling hadn’t injured the boy in his thoughtlessness. When Lum’s eyes fell upon Tenchi’s face she came to a dead stop in mid-flight.

Warning lights flashed on in Tenchi’s head as the beautiful girl in the tiger striped bikini turned around and floated over to him. The fact she appeared to be yet another alien wasn’t what concerned him. It was the altogether too familiar cast to those eyes that triggered the fear reaction that was gnawing at his bones.

“Are you hurt?” Lum asked, concern laced throughout her voice.

Tenchi blushed as she grabbed hold of his hand. “I’m fine.”

In the meantime, Ataru realized he had lost his pursuer, which would have been cause to rejoice, if it hadn’t been for the fact that she had stopped chasing him because she was talking to a man. That was cause for concern. Once Lum began pursuing Ataru she usually wouldn’t stop for hell or high water. Silently, he came to a decision and reversed direction, intent on finding out the real reason Lum stopped.

“Hey! Lum! I’m going to go on that date with Ran now,” he announced.

“Have fun,” she said as she waved him off and continued looking deep into Tenchi’s eyes.

Ataru felt dread rise from within. Lum was paying attention to another man at his expense. Perhaps it was all a plot to get him to pay attention to his self proclaimed fiancee. If so, it worked.

“Lum,” Ataru said as he worked up the nerve to ask the question. “I want to date with you.”

Lum didn’t even look towards him as her eyes remained locked on Tenchi. “Forget it, Ataru.”

She called him Ataru. Not Darling, but Ataru. That was all it took for him to finally snap. “LUM! You can’t do this to me! Do you he—“ 

He was suddenly cut off as Lum turned in anger and grabbed a hold of his hand. “SHUT UP YOU LECHEROUS PERVERT!!!” and with that she sent one of the greatest shocks she had ever summoned into the boy and watched him crumple to the ground, too stunned to even remained upright.

Lum turned to Tenchi. “Let me take you up to my spaceship and make sure you’re all right.” She blushed as she added one more bit, “Darling.” 

And with that she picked him up underneath his shoulders and flew off, up towards her spaceship. As Tenchi suddenly found yet another attractive alien girl now caught up in the bevy of beauties that desired his affections, he wondered how he was going to explain this one to Ryouko and Ayeka without destroying half of Japan. He sighed as he was flown through the air and one comment came to mind.

“Why me?” 

Tatewaki Kunou watched as Ataru picked himself up off the ground and began yelling after the pair that had flown off. 

“Truly a twisted triangle that lies there,” he said to himself. It was a good thing the alien girl had not set eyes upon him. His heart already belonged to the beauteous Akane Tendo and fiery Shampoo. He did not need the affections of yet another woman in his life. Already Akane Tendo had dated him once, and was using all of her tremendous willpower to stay away from his person, lest she fall into dishonor for defying her father’s wishes. She bravely chose to remain bound in the chains of eternal damnation to the evil Ranma Saotome. Something would have to be done about the jackal. And he would have to date Shampoo as well, lest she feel left out by the lack of attention she received from Kunou and jealous of the greater attention he lavished upon Akane and their date. 

Just as he was about to leave, his eyes fell upon a book, lying on the ground. Kunou picked it up and leafed through it, eyes lighting up as he realized what the book was and what knowledge lay within. 

“Interesting. Very interesting,” Kunou mumbled as he walked off, already beginning to mentally go through the exercises the book mentioned.

Ranma ½ Presents:  
Shampoo ½   
Chapter 23

Five Thunders

All C+C greatly appreciated

Standard Discalimer:  
I don’t own any of these characters they are owned by the Goddess Takahashi or whomever else they respectively belong to.

An Alternate Universe:  
What’s gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy the fic) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to train, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. one mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma (So Ranma-chan= Female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= Male Shampoo. Enjoy.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and briefly ended up engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up, Ranma became engaged to Akane. Many months passed and with them many trials and tribulations (re: the previous chapters). Recently, Ryu Kumon, who has been impersonating Ranma and married Kaori Daikoku, challenged for the right to call himself Ranma Saotome. Kaori challenged Akane after a few choice words were exchanged, and Mousse challenged Shampoo to one last marriage duel. Unfortunately for Ranma, Tarou has been training Ryu to fight against him, and Mousse has learned a chi attack of tremendous power, unbeknownst to Shampoo. In the last chapter, Silk, Soun’s old lover who is an Amazon and just happens to look like his dead wife, dropped by causing a great deal of confusion. She left with a warning to Shampoo that she may be running out of time. Now, further training for the fights continue…

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Ukyou made her way behind the grill and ignited it in preparation for the daily opening of Uk-Chan’s. That was all she had to look forward to anymore. Opening her restaurant and serving okonomiyaki. What a wonderful life. Maybe she’d get her own guardian angel to convince her that the world would be much worse off if she wasn’t around. But knowing her luck, it would be female and try to come on to her.

“Ukyou, my heart. You left school so quickly I didn’t have a chance to walk home with you.”

Ukyou held her forehead in all too real suffering. Her shadow had caught up to her once again. She turned to see Ai, in her standard cheerleader outfit, leaning against the door frame bearing a red rose in her mouth and giving a seductive glance. Ukyou felt a momentary pang of jealousy at the captain’s appearance. The chef lacked the skill to make herself appear alluring in the sultry manner Ai possessed. 

“Picking up tips from Kunou?” Ukyou questioned as she moved to set up some of the tables.

Ai moved from the doorway in response and walked forward enticingly. Ukyou had to admit, Ai had it all. A killer body. A ravishing face. And worst of all, the moves of a temptress. All of that was directed at one person. Ukyou. Ai took the rose from her lips and ran the flower delicately under Ukyou’s chin. 

“Knock it off, Ai,” Ukyou grumbled, then moved away from the cheerleader. “I don’t have time for that.”

Ai gazed down at the floor, pained by yet another rebuff in her attempt to gain her love’s attention. The sorrow didn’t last long as yet another idea occurred to her. 

“Ukyou, let me serve you dinner tonight.”

Silently deciding ignoring Ai wasn’t going to work, Ukyou reluctantly played along. “What were you thinking about cooking?”

“A special dish I’ll prepare just for you. Hot buttered cheerleader, okonomiyaki style. Just the way you like it.” Ai leaped up in the air and executed a backflip to show off for her would be girlfriend. 

Ukyou saw where she was going to land and tried to stop her. “AI! Don’t!”

Too late, Ai landed on the grill with a, “HOT! HOT! HOT!” and leaped off the grill, holding her rear end. 

“Nice move, A…” Ukyou trailed off as she saw the look of pain upon Ai’s face. Apparently the cheerleader really was hurt. The chef tried to calm Ai down and hold still long enough to take a look at her. Unfortunately the girl was too busy jumping up and down in pain to pay any attention.

“Stop it! Ai, I want you to…” Ukyou couldn’t believe she was going to say it, but there really wasn’t any other choice. “…bend over the table so I can look at your rear end.” There. It was out.

Ai finally halted and did she as she was ordered, a grimace still on her face. “You have no idea how long I wished to hear those words uttered from your lips,” she managed to get out over the pain. “How unfortunate they couldn’t be under better conditions.”

Ukyou didn’t even bother to try to figure out if she was being serious or not. Her cursory examination revealed Ai had indeed burned her rear end. “Oh, you big baby! It’s not that bad. I have some ointment for burns in back. Stay there.”

Ukyou grabbed the medicine from the first aid kit and went back over to the motionless Ai. She was on her knees behind Ai, applying a good amount of the ointment to the newly red region of Ai’s cheeks, when she heard someone enter the restaurant. 

“Hey, Ukyou. We know you aren’t open yet, but figured you wouldn’t mind it if we waited. So what…” Hiroshi trailed off as he took in the scene before him. Daisuke mirrored his slack jawed partner’s expression.

Ukyou looked on in fear and opened her mouth, tried to come up with an explanation, then stopped. The fact of the matter was, she was on her knees applying lotion to an attractive girl’s behind. With that kind of visual evidence even she wouldn’t have believed her own denials. Realizing there was nothing she could say that would work, she settled for something that was hopefully more attainable. “It’s not what it looks like, but you two wouldn’t believe it even if I tried explaining it. All I can ask is for you guys to keep quiet. Please.”

Hiroshi appeared on the verge of tears as he spoke. “Bad enough Ranma steals almost all the good-looking girls around. The few that are available are now doing each other. What kind of mad world is this?” He turned to look for support of his buddy, but Daisuke had already come up with his own question.

“Can I watch?” 

Ukyou began to draw her combat spatula in answer. That was all the encouragement the two youths needed to flee before an impending beating would take place.

“Ukyou,” Ai had straightened out and looked sorrowfully at the chef. “Would it really bother you if those two announced to the school we were an item?”

“Of course it would!” she snapped back. “I’m not your girlfriend.”

“I understand,” Ai uttered, then turned to go. “I’ll convince them to remain silent.”

Ukyou stopped Ai before she exited the establishment. “You aren’t going to hurt them, are you?” She didn’t want the boys to spread the rumors, but Ai still had a reputation as being a bit violent.

“No. I’ll just impress upon them the need to keep their mouths shut. No physical force should be necessary. I have other means of garnering their acquiescence.”

“Unh…all right.” Ukyou wasn’t sure what Ai was up to, and she had a feeling she didn’t want to know. “Just be careful.”

Ai looked at her a little wide eyed at the addendum, then smiled as she turned and left. It took her only moments to catch up to the two depressed boys. 

“Sorry to interrupt you two,” Hiroshi apologized. Daisuke started mumbling something about not getting to see any action until he received a light elbow to the side from Hiroshi. 

“I need you two to remain silent about what you’ve seen,” Ai said.

“Oh, come on!” Daisuke protested. “This is the juiciest bit of gossip I’ve had in a long time.”

Ai scowled a bit. Now that she thought about it, the duo weren’t exactly known for keeping their mouths shut. It appeared she was going to have to take some extraordinary steps to gain their silence.

“I can make it worth your while,” Ai ran her hands slowly up Daisuke’s sides. “And yours,” she told Hiroshi.

“At the same time?!” he answered in disbelief.

Ai nodded her head and indicated the duo should follow her.

Ukyou returned to setting up the restaurant once again. She hadn’t set up more than one table when she heard more people enter.

“We still aren’t open yet.” She turned to see Kaede, Megumi, and Ayeka of the cheerleader squad now present. “You just missed Ai.”

“We have two things to ask of you, Ukyou,” Megumi said, ignoring Ukyou’s remark and taking the role of leader with Ai’s absence. “One: do you know what happened to Kyoko?”

“No,” she growled back. She couldn’t care less what rock the peppy little thing was hiding under.

“We thought since she and Ryouga were—“ Megumi was cut off.

“NO!”

“Fine.” Megumi held up her hands in mock surrender. “The other thing was a request.”

“A request?” Ukyou asked.

“Yes.” She looked to her fellow teammates and watched them nod their heads in unspoken agreement. She then returned her attention to Ukyou. “We want you to start dating Ai.”

“WHAT???!”

Ayeka began to speak now. “We’re losing our edge. Before, Ai would drive us to the height of perfection. It wasn’t always pretty, but we got the job done in the end, and it was worth it. We are the best.”

“But that’s changing now,” Kaede said. “All Ai does is mope around and sigh. The only times she’s happy are when she can see you. I tell you it’s weird. She used to be the roughest, toughest cheerleader there was, but now she’s gone soft.”

“I’ve seen her chase after men, and women, before,” Ayeka said. “She was always the aggressor and the one in control, even against the ones that resisted her. Now everything’s changed. She’s depressed most of the time. She tries to get glances of you whenever she can, always afraid of how you’ll react or what you think she looks like. And she’s nice and deferential to you, something she’s never been before when trying to get someone. She’s really got it bad.”

Ukyou was surprised by that information to say the least. Just as the first pangs of sympathy began, they were quickly crushed.

“Besides, it’s not like you have anything better to do,” Megumi said.

Ayeka nodded. “After you were dumped by Ryouga, you haven’t exactly had lots of guys looking your way.”

“I don’t know what it is Ai sees in you.” Kaede looked at her pitifully. “Maybe she likes the fact you dress like a guy but are really a girl. Best of both worlds I suppose.”

“Or it could be the magic pill she swallowed.” Megumi reminded Kaede. “But you’re right. I know I could never pass myself off as a guy. I mean, can you imagine trying to tie MY chest up in some stupid wrap? I think not.” 

“Yes,” Ayeka laughed. “There’s no way I could try to pass myself off as some kind of androgynous weirdo with the chest I have either.”

The three began to laugh at their little jokes until they sensed the battle aura build up in the room.

“I know one of the reasons Ai likes me,” Ukyou informed them as her face began twitching. “It’s the skill I have in using this giant spatula of mine. Allow me to give you a demonstration.”

WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM!!!

Shampoo narrowly dodged the three girls that were thrown out of the restaurant and hurled through the air. She quickly ran inside to see a raging Ukyou scowling at the doorway. Ukyou’s mood only slightly lessened when she spotted Shampoo enter the establishment.

“Do you want me to date Ai too?” Ukyou asked.

“I no care.” Shampoo shrugged. “In Amazon village, it perfectly fine for womens to have relationships with one another. Is you interested in her?”

“NO! I most certainly am not!” Ukyou’s mood was getting progressively worse. “I can’t wait for Minami to get back with that cure. I’d rather have Ai try to pound my head in with her baton than pound me somewhere else with something else.”

Shampoo’s eyes widened at that reference.

“She can be very descriptive about how she’d like to show her affection for me,” Ukyou explained. “What are you here for anyway? You never come by here to eat.”

“That because you not know how to make good wallpaper paste style okonomiyaki.”

Ukyou blushed slightly at that treatment of Shampoo so early on in their relationship. “Sorry. Let me make you one on the house as an apology.”

Shampoo shook her head. “That not why I’m here. I need you to help me.”

Ukyou thought she knew what she was going to ask. “Train?” She watched Shampoo nod in acknowledgment. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Akane. I don’t have time for that. I have a restaurant to run. It’s not easy with Ryouga gone.”

“What happen to him?” Shampoo asked.

“He disappeared after he went out on that date with Kyoko,” Ukyou said. “No one has any idea where either of them are.”

Kyoko shielded her eyes from the glare of the sun and looked off into the distance. “Wow, Ryouga-kun! I didn’t know they had pyramids in Nerima.”

Ryouga laughed embarrassingly and gazed across the desert dunes to the pyramids before them. He had done a lot of laughing the last few days, though why Kyoko seemed to think they were still in Nerima, despite all the evidence to the contrary, was beyond him. 

“And those giant stone heads we saw yesterday really looked a lot like the ones on Easter Island,” Kyoko stated. “Japan sure has a lot of natural wonders I’ve never seen.”

Ryouga was fairly certain it was Easter Island they had been on, though how they had gotten on and off the island without taking a boat was beyond him. He was lost again, but he knew they could have found their way back easily save for one small problem, Kyoko didn’t know he was cursed. He had no idea how she would react to that information, so he kept his secret and continued wandering, hoping they would stumble on something that would provide them with a way back to Nerima, or at least Japan.

“This is easily the longest date I’ve ever been on.” Kyoko smiled warmly at her date. “If it were anyone other than you, I’d be worried.”

He sighed. At least they were getting a chance to get to know each other better.

“So, I have to run everything by myself now,” Ukyou said helplessly.

“But I can stay in Nerima and train with you. It not take too long to learn, and you is the only one Shampoo know that uses lots of long range weapons. I no want to end up beat by Mousse. Please,” she pleaded.

Ukyou noticed the look of hope upon Shampoo’s features. She really did want to help the Amazon, but there was a business to run. Then an idea occurred to her. “Say, Shampoo. I think we can work something out.”

“We can?”

“Yep.” Ukyou nodded her head. “I’ll help you train for several hours every day, mornings before school and evenings after until the day of the match. I’ll just cut the restaurant’s evening hours by half or so.”

“What you want in return?” This was what Shampoo needed.

“I want you to work in the restaurant for me,” Ukyou said.

“Aiya!” Shampoo jumped up and down in joy. “I know many good Chinese dishes to cook.”

“Oh no.” Ukyou shook her head. “You won’t be a cook, you’ll be waiting on tables.”

“Okay.”

“It’ll be for three weeks,” Ukyou added.

“What!” Shampoo shouted. “We only train for ten days. Why I have to work for you for three weeks?”

“My business is going to suffer with all the hours I’m cutting. So that’s the deal.”

“Fine,” Shampoo relented. “I can be waitress for you.”

“Oh no.” Ukyou shook her head once again. “You won’t be a waitress.”

“What you mean?” Shampoo was beginning to get worried. Ukyou was getting a very calculated look in her eyes.

“This.” Ukyou picked up a glass of water and threw it on Shampoo. “You’re going to be a waiter, not a waitress. This way I can get all the members of your little fan club at school to eat here just to watch you. I’ll double my business overnight. Let me pick up a uniform.” And with that Ukyou left her store.

Shampoo remained where she was and sighed. Ukyou was taking tips from Nabiki, evidently. Still, three weeks of showing off for the clientele would be worth it if she could win her duel.

Hiroshi came around to find himself in a bed, naked. He quickly noted it was not his bedroom, then took a moment to pull himself together to remember where he was.

“I thought the two of you were never going to come around.”

Hiroshi looked up to see Ai, sitting in a chair, apparently wearing nothing but a light robe over herself. He heard Daisuke moan and start to come around as well. It took another moment to remember that he had followed Ai to her house, where she had promised to entertain the pair of them. Once Hiroshi was oriented better he attempted to remember the exact details of what happened.

“You two put on quite a performance,” Ai said warmly as she smiled at the duo.

Daisuke was now almost fully awake. “Well, I have to admit, you were pretty good too.”

“I don’t see how, since I wasn’t involved,” Ai stated. “Perhaps I was unclear. What I meant to say was that you two put on quite a performance…with each other.”

Ai watched with amusement as the two froze in mid-motion. She gave them enough time to allow their minds to begin functioning again when she added something else. “Here are some of the pictures.”

Hiroshi snatched the offered photos first and began to examine them. Sure enough, it was the two of them in some very compromising positions. He turned to his partner. “I thought you were my friend! How could you take advantage of me like that?”

“ME?!” Daisuke shouted. “It was you! I was unconscious!”

“I was too!” Hiroshi said. Once both realized what the other was saying, they took the time to examine the pictures more closely.

“Both of our eyes are shut,” Daisuke observed. The duo stared at Ai in suspicion.

“That’s because you were both unconscious.” She smiled back at the pair. “It’s amazing what kind of trouble you can cause with pressure points and a camera.”

“Why did you do that?!” Hiroshi shouted. If those pictures got out…

“To prove a point.” Ai’s smile faded a bit. “It’s easy to misinterpret a situation if you don’t know what’s going on. Like back at the restaurant.”

“So you and Ukyou weren’t…” Daisuke let the question trail off.

“No. Unfortunately we weren’t.” Ai sighed. “So, I now trust the two of you will not spread any inaccurate rumors, correct? I’d hate to see these photos come to light.”

Both nodded their heads vigorously. No rumors would pass from their lips ever again. “Can we have the pictures?” Hiroshi asked.

Ai shook her head. “No. Think of it as insurance. But don’t worry, I won’t show them to anyone else.”

The two attempted to argue, but it was to no avail. Ai was unrelenting. 

An idea occurred to Daisuke. Something that might recoup their losses. “Did you like what you saw?” He tried giving her the most charming smile he could.

“I…” she began.

“Yes?” both said in anticipation.

“…found it…” She placed a finger to her lips.

“Yes?!”

“…very…” She slowly sucked on the tip of the finger for a moment before removing it.

“YES???” 

“…amusing, if that’s what you’re asking.”

The duo facefaulted. Once they recovered they began sobbing, their egos castrated on the spot.

Ai saw the effect she had and gave in to the pity. “You’re both very average, and not at all amusing. Do you feel better now?”

The duo nodded sadly in response. Average. Still, it was better than amusing. 

“There is one other thing before we go,” Daisuke suddenly brought up.

“What?” Ai asked, now becoming irritated.

“You got to see us naked. I think it’s only fair we see you naked too.” Hiroshi nodded in agreement.

Ai looked the two over. It would be a small sacrifice if it would get them to leave. “Fine.” She stood up and opened her robe for a moment, then quickly closed it. It was with an amused smile that she watched the duo developed nosebleeds. It was probably the closest thing to sex either one had ever come to. “Go on. You had your free show. Now hit the road.”

The two exited the room in shock and walked downstairs. 

“She’s a goddess,” Daisuke mumbled.

“And she’s a natural blond,” Hiroshi added.

“Are we forgetting something?” Daisuke asked, still in lovestruck awe.

Hiroshi simply shrugged, still too out of it to be aware of what was going on. 

The pair walked past Mariko, Ai’s sister, as she returned to her home. Mariko watched the two leave with wide eyes, then quickly ran up to Ai’s room. She burst in just as her sister was dressing. 

“What the hell do you want?” Ai growled. Mariko knew better than to barge in unannounced.

Mariko smirked. “I thought you gave up your sluttish ways now that you have Kuonji in your sights. I see you couldn’t do it.”

“I didn’t do anything with them.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Mariko replied.

“Why?” 

Mariko frowned at her sister’s seemingly oblivious attitude. “They didn’t have any clothes on.”

Ai looked down in surprise at the pairs’ clothing lying on the floor. Apparently they really had led quite the sheltered lives to be that far out of it.

The Saotomes and Soun watched from a distance as Akane tended the cooking fire she had going. 

“What is it that she’s making again, son?” Soun asked.

“BLT’s, or so she says,” Ranma informed him. “The way I figure it, we should be pretty safe with that. She can’t screw up tomatoes. She can’t screw up lettuce. She can’t screw up the bread. The only thing she can mess up is the bacon. She can only overdo it, which means the sandwiches are a little crunchy, or they end up undercooked, which means we get an internal parasite. Either way, we’re a lot better off than eating what she regularly cooks.”

The fathers nodded in agreement. 

“They’re ready!” Akane cried out cheerily. The trio made their way to the encampment and were served sandwiches, a gray ooze leaking out the sides of each one. 

Ranma examined his in disgust. How could it have happened? “Akane?” He asked in a tired voice.

“Yes, Ranma?”

“What do you think BLT stands for?” 

Akane looked at him as though he had asked what color the sky was. “Beans, Liver, and Tofu, of course.”

“WRONG!!!” he shouted. “Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! It stands for Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato.”

Akane gave a disgusted look. “Blech! That sounds pretty bland. My version sounds way better, especially with the paprika and jalapeno pepper I added. Now eat up.” She picked up Ranma’s sandwich and tried thrusting it in his face.

Ranma kept his mouth shut and leaped away. Akane gave a shout of “At least try it!” before pursuing. 

Genma and Soun threw their sandwiches in the fire. There was some tasty looking tree bark they could snack on before figuring out what else to eat.

“You’re pathetic!” Tarou ducked another one of Ryu’s blows. They were fast, and powerful, but there was no flow to them. He was fighting little better than a standard black belt. 

Ryu attempted a high kick, which Tarou caught as he threw Ryu to the ground. Tarou was becoming very concerned. Ryu was fighting well below his abilities, and he would lose no matter what tricks and edges Tarou could give him. An ideal opportunity was being wasted by the second. And all because the wanna’ be Ranma was acting scared. Tarou evaded Ryu’s counter attack, lost in thought, There had to be some way to get him to fight up to his potential. Perhaps getting him angry would help. It sure as hell couldn’t hurt. But where to get him? What did he care about? It only took a few moments to figure it out. 

“Nice ass that wife of yours has.” 

Tarou gave an inward sigh as he saw Ryu freeze up for a second in shock. If he was just going to stand around like a punching bag then he’d get beaten all right, just not by Ranma. 

Tarou came in with a hard fist for Ryu’s head. It never arrived as Ryu easily blocked the blow. Even Tarou was a little taken aback by the fury demonstrated in Ryu’s face. Tarou’s own split second of hesitation cost him as he was suddenly struck with a series of hard fist and finger strikes to his midsection. Ryu finished up with a palm strike whose force seemed to go through Tarou, causing him to go flying through the air and land hard, rolling a good distance across the ground.

“No one may speak about my wife like that.”

Tarou slowly got to his feet, impressed. Ryu hit a lot harder than Ranma did, and if he could employ attacks like that, Fem-Boy was finished. “You have to fight like that if you want to beat the other Ranma, pal. Just imagine that that pervert is thinking things like that about you wife. Come to think of it, if you lose this fight, you know she’s going to be honor bound to marry the real Ranma. Just picture the two of them, their bodies intertwined…”

“Enough!” Ryu shouted. “Let’s begin again!”

The two of them began to fight in earnest. After a while, Tarou became truly impressed with Ryu’s fighting style. It was time for specifics. “I’ll show you a defense against his Amagurikan.”

Tarou began showing him the defense as he thought about what to do next. Soon he would have to start “teaching” Kaori how to fight Akane. Naturally, he’d give her false information, so when it came time for his students to take their tests, only one would pass.

Too bad.

Three days later:  
In the Heavens above:

Raiden heard the thunderous knocking upon the doors of his castle in the heavens. As soon as he heard the blows he knew who his visitor was. There was only one individual in all the heavens that could ‘thunder’ on his door in that manner. He walked to the entryway and opened the door to see his old comrade at arms, Thor, waiting impatiently to be allowed in. The Asgardian God of Thunder had a hand to his skull, holding a large lump on his head. There was only one being in the heavens that could produce that sort of damage on Thor.

“What did you do to Sif now?”

“I did nothing to that uncaring brute,” Thor protested. 

“Right.” Raiden knew better than to argue the point with him. Thor would never admit to wrongdoing, no matter how much at fault he was. “What did she misinterpret this time?”

“Allow me to quench my thirst as I explain.” Thor made his way past Raiden into the interior of the castle, making a beeline for the stores of mead that he knew lay within the castle. Once there, the duo poured themselves the strongest concoction they could find as Thor began to relate his tale.

“Tis not my fault. I tell thee. The wench overreacted again,” Thor exclaimed.

Raiden rubbed his temple. “Overreacted to what?”

“Well,” he began. “Urd did stop by for just a visit.”

Raiden could see it now. Still, it was best to allow Thor to vent his frustrations and make himself feel better. It was a scene that had been repeated many times in the past. Thor did something to anger Sif. Sif hit Thor. Thor came to Raiden to drown his sorrows. And with Urd involved, it was double trouble. Thor would not go back to face Sif’s anger for some time.

Thor continued. “She was in mine door no longer than five seconds, when Sif did return to our domicile and did smite me with mine own hammer. Sometimes methinks I should just give it to her.”

“You and Urd used to date, as I recall,” Raiden mentioned.

“That was centuries ago. The uncaring brute should not feel threatened by one who is so much more beautiful and not as violent as storm giant with a toothache.”

Raiden shook his head sadly. “And I suppose you told her this to her face?” 

“Aye! The wench should be made to know her inadequacies. And I only did it after she did smote me once. Very hard I might add.”

It was getting worse. “Did Urd greet you in her usual manner?” Raiden remembered just how outgoing her greetings could be for those she fancied. As Raiden remembered, in Thor’s case it was usually a deep tonguing kiss.

“Of course. We go back a long way,” Thor proudly stated as he downed his fourth cup of mead. 

That clinched it. Thor would not be returning to his home for some time. The two gods of thunder downed many a mug of mead before Raiden came up with an idea.

“You know. The mortals have been having it easy of late.”

“Aye!” Thor agreed.

“Let’s show the mortal world below what two gods of thunder can really do when they put their minds to it.”

Thor smiled in anticipation.

It was after school and Ukyou had been helping Shampoo train by throwing a variety of spatulas, as well as other cooking implements in the Amazon’s direction, in one of the open fields in Nerima. The training had gone fairly well the last few days. Shampoo knew her reflexes were increasing as she was able to evade most of Ukyou’s attacks. Though some strikes would get through every now and then. 

Ukyou watched the purple-haired Amazon stand up from the last series of attacks she had thrown at her. “You know, I’m still surprised by your clothing. You could wear something a little more conservative.”

The Amazon examined herself in the white muscle shirt and bicycle shorts. They were good clothes on two counts. One was that it was an ensemble that she could wear that would not easily snag on any of the weapons Ukyou might employ. The other was that they were appropriately androgynous, and she wouldn’t have to change if she got wet. “What you mean? They fit fine.”

“Well, you could try wearing a bra for starters. You’re going to have the guys drooling all over you in that.”

Shampoo snickered a bit at the comment. “They already do. Besides, you no seem to mind when girls look at me in that too tight uniform you make me wear.” 

Ukyou smiled as she visualized the outfit she had gotten for Shampoo-kun. It was a tight light blue shirt with the sleeves cut out, so Shampoo-kun’s rather nice arms were displayed for all the customers (girls) to see. His arms might not have been as large as Ryouga’s, but they were plenty big enough on their own. That, in addition to the tight leather pants that were at least one size too small, added up to an adorable package that had her place brimming to overflowing with the overly hormonal girls of Furinkan. And she hadn’t even needed to advertise more than one day at the school before word traveled around about where the ever popular Shampoo-kun was working. Everyone was desperate to see him since he had taken two weeks off for training. And now the money was rolling in like never before. She was going to have to do something to keep Shampoo-kun working there.

“You shouldn’t complain,” Ukyou reminded her. “You’re making a ton of money with the tips.”

Shampoo gave a little smile at that. She might have been used by the chef, but at least it was a better deal than anything Nabiki would have come up with. Especially the profits. Still, she needed to put on airs, lest Ukyou get too cocky about the situation. “I no like the way girls pinch my bottom when I go past tables.”

“But its sooo irresistible.” Ukyou gave a mock squeal of delight.

Shampoo looked at her flatly. “Shampoo know, you grab my bottom too.”

“Th…that was an accident!” The chef responded as she began to blush.

“That was a grope.”

Further arguments were cut off as rain began to fall. Shampoo felt the first drops of water strike her head, triggering the transformation. 

“Great! The skies were totally clear a second ago,” Ukyou mumbled. “Should we stop?”

“No.” Shampoo-kun shook his head. “We keep sparring. It may rain for fight and Shampoo should be prepared.” 

Ukyou nodded in understanding as Shampoo-kun moved a good distance from Ukyou and began to make his way to her. Under these conditions, the Amazon was at a disadvantage. He was slower as a male, and speed was what was needed to evade Mousse’s attacks. The idea that Mousse might realize it as well, and use water against Shampoo-kun, was all the more reason to practice as a man also, though Shampoo-kun had a feeling Mousse wanted to win when his love interest was female.

The downpour increased to thunderstorm proportions as Shampoo-kun evaded the thrown weapons in his direction. It was a slow process of making his way to Ukyou, thorough the hail of dulled mini-spatulas, that were meant to simulate hits. It would have been pure foolishness to use edged weapons and gain so many injuries training that he wouldn’t be in any shape to defeat Mousse. Shampoo-kun was struck with three minor scores by the time half the distance to the chef was closed. 

Ukyou switched tactics and went for a flour bomb. A mistake since the rain prevented the cloud from effectively spreading. Shampoo-kun was almost on top of her when she unloaded a Bakusai Tenketsu in the hopes of buying some time to make some distance from the charging Amazon. Shampoo-kun leaped over the exploding ground and ducked under Ukyou’s attempted two handed spatula thrust. He came up under the guard and placed himself between her and the weapon, bodies right next to one another. He then grabbed her arms. Ukyou lost her grip on her spatula as the Amazon forced her arms apart. 

“Now what you do, Spatula Girl?”

Ukyou got angry at her helplessness in Shampoo-kun’s arms and tried to knee him in the groin. A mistake. Shampoo-kun sensed the attempt and blocked it with his inner thigh. Ukyou just barely caught a glimpse of the anger in Shampoo-kun’s face as she felt his hands lock behind her back and she was given a belly-to-belly suplex and driven hard into the ground. Ukyou was momentarily winded as she felt Shampoo-kun switch his grip and pin her arms to her sides as well as drive his legs between hers, preventing her from using them again. 

“No try to do that!” Shampoo-kun hissed at the prone chef. “Stupid Spatula Girl have no idea how much that hurt!” He had more than a passing knowledge of just how much getting struck there hurt, having been introduced shortly after first getting his curse to just how sensitive the area was to blows. Birthing children might have been more painful, but he was certain that was the only comparative pain women could feel.

“A…all right,” Ukyou managed to get out, worried at the anger in Shampoo-kun’s face. She had gone too far. It was supposed to be nothing more than a minor practice session. Neither of them was supposed to get hurt. The reason as to why she suddenly lost her cool was a bit of a mystery though. “Let me up. I won’t do it again.” 

For a moment, confusion crossed Shampoo-kun’s face before he got off his opponent. He heaved himself up to his feet and then offered a helping hand to his opponent. The rain tripled in intensity and was joined by close lighting strikes as both fighters stood in the midst of the downpour. 

“Let’s get the hell out of here, and go to my place!” Ukyou found herself shouting to be heard over the pouring rain. Shampoo-kun nodded his head in agreement as the two began running to the restaurant.

“What do you two think You’re doing?!” 

Thor and Raiden turned to see a red skinned, four armed man, bearing several barrels, approach them. Both recognized him immediately. 

“Greetings, Indra,” Raiden greeted the Hindu thunder master. “What brings you here?”

“That should be obvious,” Indra replied. “I was on my way back from visiting Olympus when I sensed a major disruption in the weather patterns. Imagine my surprise to see two of my friends whipping up a real mother of a storm and not inviting me.”

“Dost thou, by chance, bear some of Dionysus spirits within yon casks?” Thor asked, lips already beginning to smack in anticipation.

Indra grinned. “Why yes, I do.”

“Then by all means,” Thor smiled in return. “Come. Aid us in reminding the mortals what the thunder is really all about.”

Ranma-chan looked out of the small cave as the storm tripled in intensity. Visibility was decreasing by the moment, now down to about twenty feet. It was so bizarre, the deluge coming from out of nowhere. She turned to see her thoroughly drenched fiancee huddled against the rock wall. Akane was doing a pretty good impression of a soaked cat, shivering in the close confines of the rock.

“You okay?” Ranma-chan asked.

Akane nodded in return. “Yes. I’m just a little wet.”

“We could be swimming and be less soggy,” Ranma-chan commented. “You sure you’re not cold?” 

“What are you going to do? Offer me your shirt?” Akane smiled at Ranma-chan. That was probably what the redhead was about to offer. 

Ranma-chan looked down at herself. If she had any extra clothing she would have offered it to Akane. But there wasn’t, and she had a feeling the first words out of Akane’s mouth would be “Pervert!” if she did take off her top and offer it. Still, there was something else she could do to make things warmer. Ranma-chan got up and sat right next to Akane. If warmth couldn’t be offered through clothing, it could be given through the closeness of the body.

Akane looked a little nervous as Ranma-chan actually moved closer to her. Despite the fact her fiancee was unquestionably a girl, she felt excited by the close proximity. 

Akane desperately tried to come up with something to distract her from the unusual feeling from within. “How’s the training going?” 

Ranma-chan perked up at the question. “Pretty good. I should have the rest of the Yamisenken learned in the next couple of days. Pop assures me it can defeat the Umisenken. Of course you know how much Pop’s knowledge is actually worth.”

“I wouldn’t be so hard on him,” Akane defended. “If there is one thing he knows, it’s martial arts. Besides, I know you. You’ll win. You always do.”

Ranma-chan was a bit taken aback by the flattery. Akane being complementary? “Thanks. I know I will. Once I finish with the Yamisenken, I’m going to try to learn that Shi Shi Houkoudan Ryouga uses all the time. With a chi attack, winning will be a snap.”

Ranma-chan waited to hear Akane reprimand him for his ego. Once again he was surprised as she used no scathing words. Instead, she just nodded. 

After a moment, Akane spoke up. “So what do you think of me? How am I coming along?”

Ranma-chan was silent for a moment, then answered quietly. “You’re pretty good.”

Now Akane began to get angry. That was it? Just a ‘pretty good?’ And why had Ranma-chan paused and gotten so quiet? “Thanks a lot!” she growled, then scowled, looking outside.

It took a moment before Ranma-chan spoke up again. “You’re doing real good. You’re a lot better than when I left.”

“You don’t sound happy about it!” she snapped back.

“You wouldn’t understand.” And with that the red head got up and walked to the opposite wall of the cave.

Akane reconsidered her behavior. It was now obvious Ranma-chan was bothered by something and hiding it. “What’s wrong? Tell me.”

She stopped and considered the request. It was probably pointless. Akane had made her wishes pretty clear. Still, if she was asking for it, Ranma-chan would tell her. “I’m kind of…jealous of how good you got.”

“What?” Akane was very shocked by the confession. Ranma-chan jealous of her martial arts abilities?

“It’s like you said,” Ranma-chan began. “you got a whole lot better while I was gone. It’s like you didn’t ever need me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She barely stopped herself before adding, “I need you.”

“I’ve been helping train you, y’know. And I thought I was doing a pretty good job.”

“You were,” Akane agreed.

“But then you hook up with Pantyhose,” he said the last word with more than a little disdain. “and I see you just take off. I can admit it, all right? You are way better than when I left. And I guess most of it was because of you training with him.”

“So?” Akane was still confused.

“You just don’t get it.” 

Akane saw Ranma-chan get up, almost as if she was going to head out into the storm. She quickly placed her arm in the shorter girl’s shoulder. “Explain it to me. Please.”

The redhead let out a sigh and sat back down. “Martial arts is my life. It’s all I know and all I’m good at, well except maybe for acting. Anyway, I pride myself on being the best.”

“And you’re afraid I’ll pass you up?” Surprisingly, Akane felt exhilarated at the idea that her fiancee would feel threatened by her abilities.

“Of course not!” Ranma-chan said. “You got a long way to go before you’ll ever be as good as I am now. And I’ll get better in the in-between.”

“Oh,” was all she could say in response, more than a little crestfallen.

“I was the one training you, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job. I mean, you never complained. But I’m not gone for more than a couple of days and you get a new trainer. Just like that.” Ranma-chan snapped her fingers for emphasis.

Akane was surprised to hear such emotion coming from Ranma-chan. Still, there were some facts that needed clearing up. “I didn’t set out to find a new one, it just sort of happened. I couldn’t let a valuable opportunity like that pass me by.”

“There’s another thing that sort of bothers me too.,” Ranma-chan added. “The way you got better all of a sudden. It’s like, maybe I wasn’t doing such a good job of training you. Maybe I ain’t as good as I thought. Maybe I’m not the best.”

Akane tried to perk his spirits up. “You were doing a fine job. I got a lot better when you were helping me. You know that. You told me yourself.”

“Maybe,” Ranma-chan finally relented. 

“No maybes. And if I got better with Tarou, well, you’re just going to have to accept that there are people out there that can teach too. That’s the way it is Ranma.”

“And why’d you let a creep like that train you?!” There was more than a little bit of accusation in Ranma-chan’s voice. 

“Tarou’s perfectly fine,” she retorted, then softened a bit. “If the two of you got together, I’m sure you’d get along.” 

Ranma-chan just shook her head. “I don’t think so. It just sort of bothers me that you just gave up on me.”

Was that what this was all about? “I never gave up on you. I knew you’d be back. I have faith in you.” 

That brightened the red head up, a little. “Of course I would.” What little happiness disappeared as she began thinking about things again. “Is he better than me?”

Akane sighed. Ranma-chan really could be annoying when it came to her ego. “If you mean a better fighter, I don’t know. If you mean a better teacher.” She paused, trying to come up with words that wouldn’t offend Ranma-chan any more than they already had. “He teaches differently. I’m not sure if I’d call it better. Now, answer a question for me. Why are you so stuck on this?”

Ranma-chan played with her hands as she tried to come up with the right words. “I’m kind of hurt. I mean, becoming an instructor might be what I do for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’m suited for much else. You know how seriously I take it, and I want to be the best. Need to be the best. That’s what my whole life’s been about and it’s just the way I am. Now along comes this total creep that might be better than me. And the fact that it’s you that went to him hurts even more.”

That was a surprise to Akane. “It does?”

“Yeah! Of course it does. You’re special.”

Akane’s eyes widened at that. “I…I am?”

“You’re basically my first student, even if we are engaged, and I feel proud of what you do. You’re my responsibility. I might blow off some things , but I do take that seriously.”

This was a day for revelations for Akane. “I didn’t know you felt that strongly about it.”

“I do.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Akane suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. She thought what she should say was she was sorry she spent the time with Tarou, but the truth was she wasn’t. It was valuable and she did enjoy it. What she did feel sorry about was that it hurt Ranma-chan. Somehow, she just couldn’t bring herself to lie to her fiancee. 

She moved next to the redhead and began trying to console her. “I’m glad you’re back and that you’re helping me. I’m not sorry you’re training me again.” That wasn’t really a lie. She was sorry that she couldn’t train with both of them. 

“Thanks,” Ranma-chan finally said. “That makes me feel better.”

Akane was surprised at the relief that flooded her with those words. She had no idea that she had been so worked up over her fiancee’s feelings. With her feelings of elation, one other thought joined them. Something that had been bothering her for a little while. Something she had to prove to herself, and maybe make up for the way she had treated Ranma-chan. Now that the two of them were alone, and with the storm raging outside, there was no chance of interruption. If only Ranma-chan didn’t react poorly to what she was about to do. It was probably best to take her by surprise. 

She was a little amazed by her own desires. Perhaps it was their closeness in the cave. Or maybe the privacy they could never seem to have anywhere else. Or maybe it was just the knowledge that, without realizing it, Ranma-chan had openly acknowledged Akane was important to her. She noticed the redhead was looking outside once again. Akane wrung her hands together as she worked up the courage to go forth with the plan. She had to prove to herself she wasn’t afraid of Ranma when he was in girl form, and now was the perfect opportunity. Sweat mopped her brow as her body suddenly felt very warm, the chill of being wet forgotten as her pulse began racing as hard, if not harder, than when she fought against Karumi. 

Akane heard Ranma-chan take a deep breath and decided now was the time, before she lost confidence. She grabbed her fiancee’s head from behind and turned it in her direction. Ranma-chan was caught too off guard to resist. As she faced Ranma-chan, she was about to move closer for the kiss when Ranma-chan finally responded. The reaction was not the one Akane had expected. 

Ranma-chan unloaded a sneeze directly into Akane’s face.

“Geez, Akane!” Ranma-chan said as she wiped her nose with her sleeve. “Whad’ya grab my head like that for?”

“Believe me,” she said as she finally began wiping her face off. “I don’t know what the feeling was, but it is definitely gone now.”

Two more gods of thunder and lightning, Leir and Shango, had joined the three that had already been there. By now Raiden, Thor, and Indra were totally plastered and putting everything they had into the storm.

“Wait! Wait!” Raiden said as he flailed his hands drunkenly to get everyone’s attention. “Watch this!.” He brought his hands together, concentrated, then released a tremendous lightning bolt downwards to the earth. 

“That’s nothing. Watch this!” Thor summoned a bolt at least twice the size of Raiden’s and released it towards the earth below. 

Indra scoffed at the duo. “Why use only one when you can use four?” And with that he summoned four lightning bolts, one for each hand, and threw them towards the earth below.

“Show-off,” the two upstaged thunder gods grumbled.

Leir spoke up. “It’s not a question of might. It’s a question of precision. Now take that mortal there waving a bokken and shouting about thunder.” He indicated through a hole in the clouds. “Watch this!” And with that he summoned a lightning bolt that struck the youth right in the head. The mortal promptly fell over.

“You’d better not have killed him,” Raiden warned. “I like that one. Every time he shouts out his name and title of ‘Blue Thunder,’ I provide him with a bolt. I like the effect.”

“No. He’s just stunned,” Leir said. “I don’t want to kill anyone, just scare the life out of them. They haven’t really been afraid of us for hundreds of years.” 

“It’s because of technolosy,” Thor slurred.

“That’s technology,” Indra corrected.

“That’s wha I said!” Thor barked back. “Take away their lights and heat, and thou can get them to panic, just like the time mineself and Balder got Heimdall drunk and convinced him Loki stole the Rainbow Bridge. Mine brother surly had a bad time that day. HAHAHAHA!!!”

“Let’s find out.” Shango said. And with that, he began hurling lightning bolts at specific targets. The others began a competition and joined in.

“SHIT!!!” Ukyou shouted as a lightning bolt crashed nearby, shattering part of the street. 

“This is getting ridiculous, even for Nerima!” Shampoo-kun shouted over the storm. “They no say they expect a typhoon!”

“Sugar!” Ukyou shouted back. “This is worse than any typhoon! We need to get to shelter, quick!” More huge lighting bolts struck the ground around them and all over Nerima.

“There the restaurant!” Shampoo-kun pointed out through the falling rain.

The duo barely managed to make their way inside Uk-Chan’s making certain to secure the door behind them.

“It doesn’t look like we’ll be getting any customers tonight.” Ukyou tried turning on the lights, only to discover there was no power. “And that settles it. You’re going to have to live without your fan club tonight.”

“You no see me complaining, do you?” Shampoo-kun said as he took of his thoroughly drenched top and began to wring it out.

Ukyou paused for a moment to watch the action. She didn’t even realize she was smiling at him as he stood there, topless and clad only in his bicycle shorts. The behavior didn’t go unnoticed by Shampoo-kun. 

“You like what you see?” he said as he placed his hands on his hips and displayed himself for Ukyou’s benefit.

“What?!” Ukyou shouted out in surprise. “No! It’s nothing like that!”

Shampoo-kun began smiling. “Maybe Shampoo should start calling you ‘Pervert Girl’ instead of ‘Spatula Girl’.”

“I’m not staring!” she protested. 

Even in the relative darkness, Shampoo-kun could just make out Ukyou beginning to blush. 

“I’ll get some hot water for you.” Ukyou went in back to her bathroom and tried using the faucets. Nothing came out. She started swearing under her breath and went back to the dining area, where Shampoo-kun made himself comfortable. She informed him about the lack of water and tried using the grill. No gas either.

“That too bad.” Shampoo-kun gave a big smile to Ukyou. If what he guessed was right, he was going to have fun tormenting the chef tonight. “I can no go back in this storm. I guess I just have to stay here tonight.” He leaned back in his chair, placed his hands behind his head, and grinned at Ukyou, making certain to flex a little bit for her. 

“I’ll get some clothes for you.” Ukyou started to make her way to her room, if nothing of hers would fit the Amazon, he could always use one of Ryouga’s outfits.

“No worry about it.” Shampoo-kun waved his hand dissmissively. “I fine as is.”

“Suit yourself.”

This time she didn’t react, much to Shampoo-kun’s disappointment. He wasn’t going to have fun getting her worked up after all, Too bad. She had had an advantage over him for far too long. “What should we do to pass time?”

Ukyou went to light some candles as she pondered what to do next. The lack of power meant no radio or television. The storm prevented them from leaving. There was no way they were going to practice martial arts indoors. She made her way into the back and went through one of the storage rooms. There were several boxes she had yet to unpack. 

The first one held nothing but some extra weaponry, some clothing rarely worn, and a photo album. She had started to feel comfortable around Shampoo, but not enough to start reminiscing about her personal past, so she opened a second box. The first thing she came upon was a deck of cards. Perfect. She was about to leave when her eyes stumbled on a third crate her father had given her. Should she use the contents? 

“Well, why not?” she decided. There was nothing better to do and it wasn’t as though she had to worry about the next day. 

Ukyou returned to the dining area once more to see Shampoo-kun just as she had left him. The boy gave a curious grin as he spotted the objects Ukyou had brought back with her. 

“Cards for poker.” She held out pack. “And wine to add atmosphere.” She held out the bottle she had. “I know damn well you drink.”

“Not regular.” In fact, the only time she had drank since she had come to Japan was that horrible night over a month ago. 

“Well it’s time you learned to appreciate wine.” Ukyou smiled as she began to explain her particular affection for the drink. “Dad always had a little bit of wine with him. He was quite the expert. Oh, you wouldn’t have expected it from a rough, unrefined guy like him, but he was really good at it. He could almost always tell what kind and year it was by the taste. He was best with reds. He never got drunk on them, mind you,” she quickly added. “He just drank enough to enjoy the taste. Anyway, he always let me have a little sip when he drank, even when I was a kid. I guess I kind of liked it. As time passed I got pretty good at it too. I’m not as good as dad was, but I know more than the average guy off the street does.”

She got out some glasses and filled each to the top. The games began well enough for Ukyou, winning three out of four times. Shampoo-kun had one of the worst poker faces she had ever seen. Perhaps it was because of worry over the upcoming duel. Naturally, Ukyou wasted no time in rubbing her victories in the Amazon’s face. 

The wine poured liberally between the two, Ukyou out of enjoyment and Shampoo-kun out of frustration, both becoming quite moody from the drink. They were finishing their second bottle when the Amazon eventually grew weary from losing so often and suffering Ukyou’s happiness at his defeats. He silently decided to take the initiative once again.

“So what hanging around Ai like?”

The reference to her would-be paramour wasn’t enough to change Ukyou’s demeanor. “She’s a lot more tolerable now. Actually, she can be pretty nice every now and then. Of course, with her always flirting with me it doesn’t help much with any sort of friendship we might have.” 

“Is you SURE you no like girls that way?” 

“Pretty sure,” Ukyou said. “When I was a pretending to be a guy at my last school I wasn’t interested. It wasn’t from lack of attention from the girls at one of the nearby schools either. Though it wasn’t as bad for me as it is for you. I dated some of them to maintain the pretense, but it never got far. Two dates at the most, then I’d break it off.” 

Shampoo-kun was a bit surprised by that response. Rather than vehemently denying it, which had been her pattern, Ukyou was much more restrained when she offered the explanation

Ukyou swirled the liquid in her glass around a few times. “When Ai says some of the raunchy things to me, they really don’t turn me on. Mostly,” she added. 

That caught Shampoo-kun’s interest. He leaned across the table and asked. “What sort of things?”

Ukyou got up, sat next to Shampoo-kun, obviously giddy from the drink as she began giggling. “I used to think guys were bad. Well, they are, but Ai goes far and beyond that. What’s worse is, I think she’s done most of them. She seems like the adventurous type to me. Here’s some of the things she’s ‘suggested’.”

Shampoo-kun thought he was open minded, but some of the things affected even his sensibilities (although some were put into the long term memory for possible future use. After all, Ranma was a girl part of the time.) 

Ukyou finished explaining one that involved yarn, whip cream, a trapeze, and certain instruments designed to simulate male anatomical features. “I have no idea where she comes up with things like that. There’s no way you could do it.”

Shampoo-kun gained a sinister smile as an inspiration of how he might play a little joke on Ukyou came to him. It might even gain him a small measure of revenge for the chef using him as a girl toy for her own insidious economic gains.

“Sure there is, Spatula Girl. You just have to be athletic and flexible. Shampoo show you.” And with that he quickly picked up the very surprised Ukyou and proceeded to go to the floor and hastily maneuvering the two of them into the position Ai mentioned, sans the trapeze and other trappings. Ukyou’s resistance was negligible, as she was both surprised and drunk, a combination that left her easily manhandled by Shampoo-kun’s superior strength, and shocked until he already had her down in a position more compromising than the one she had with Ai several days earlier.

“Now Spatula Girl, you see. It possible. Not very comfortable,” he said as he afforded a glance to her leg that was draped over his shoulder. “But possible.”

“Let me go,” she said softly and attempted to extricate herself from the position she was in. It wasn’t so much the discomfort, which was minor, it was the way parts of Shampoo-kun rubbed against her, and where they were doing it. As she tried to move she discovered something else about the body positioning. There was little leverage to be had, nowhere near enough to force Shampoo-kun off. At least not with the way she currently felt. 

“Oh, come on now, Spatula Girl. Does you really want me off? Shampoo see the way Spatula Girl look at her,” Shampoo-kun shook his own head, which was feeling hazy, and corrected the reference. “Shampoo mean him, when Shampoo work in the clothes you picked out.”

“What do you mean?” was all Ukyou managed to get out.

“Spatula Girl steal glances when Shampoo bend over and stuff. Not that it easy to bend over with those pants.”

“Do I?” she looked at him questioningly.

He gave her a wicked grin. “Aiya. You do. Could Spatula Girl be becoming Pervert Girl thanks to Ai? Is you having second thoughts? Shampoo remember how Spatula Girl kiss him when you save him from Ai. You do it real good. Does Spatula Girl want Shampoo to move?”

For a moment her face started to contort with anger, then it passed just as quickly as her face matched the voice she now spoke in. One of uncertainty. “I don’t know anymore.”

“What?” he asked as panic started to rise in him. That was not the reaction he was looking for. 

“I said I don’t know anymore,” she replied in a tired voice. 

Shampoo-kun felt a mix of worry and curiosity at Ukyou’s words. “What you mean?”

“It seems that’s all everyone wants me to do anymore.” Ukyou explained. “Fool around with women. The people at my previous schools wanted me to. Ai wants it. The rest of her squad wants it. It seems like everyone at school wants it so they have something to talk about.”

Shampoo-kun shook his head. “Shampoo not understand.”

“Don’t you,” Ukyou said as she stared into his eyes. “Look at me and the way my life has gone. None of the guys want me, just the women. My fiancee left me at the ripe old age of six. I didn’t date for years and acted like a guy for the next decade. I meet my fiancee again, and he still isn’t interested in me. I meet a guy I think might like me, but it turns out all he wants is some cutesy little cheerleader. No one wants anything to do with a gal that dresses and acts mostly like one of the guys, now do they?

“But that’s not exactly true either. Plenty of women want me. I have every guy’s wet dream come onto me and tell me she is willing to become a virtual slave if I’ll just take her. I have a French Cuisine Combat expert that hates me because I wasn’t the man she thought I was. There is one guy that wants me, but wait a minute! He’s a cross-dresser that looks more like a girl than I do on my best days. My father APPROVES of my relationship with the cheerleader and the cross-dresser, wants to know when I’m going to do something about cementing our bonds, when he can start expecting grandchildren, and who is going to be having them. Sugar, it doesn’t get more messed up than that.”

“Shampoo think he understands.”

“Do you?” Ukyou shot back. “Do you know what it feels like to have your femininity chipped away at in tiny pieces?”

“Yes,” he said sadly. “Shampoo know exactly what it means. Every time Shampoo get splashed with cold water. It was no bad at first, but now it not so clear.” Shampoo-kun looked directly in Ukyou’s eyes as he recalled the events in his life. “At first, Shampoo disgusted with boy-type body. Males are weak and not as good as womens. Being girl-type is everything, but then Shampoo turn into boy-type. After a while, Shampoo not feel disgust at change. It somehow all right to change, but Shampoo not happy with the curse. Shampoo hate the way girls look at her. Not want them to look at her the way Shampoo used to look at boys. It wrong. Shampoo not that way.

“But then things change. Shampoo not sure if it because it too hard to fight off all girls and can no make them stop looking, or if Shampoo just get used to it. Then Shampoo starts feeling funny around some girls. Not all the time, and not like Shampoo feel with…” he trailed off, unwilling to tell Ukyou about his feelings for Ranma. “…but it feel funny. Not the way Shampoo is supposed to react around girls. Shampoo no feel that way when girl-type, but when boy-type, that different. Not really sure what it means. Just mostly confused.

“So yes, Ukyou. Shampoo know what it means to have girl-type feelings start to go away.” Shampoo-kun finished up, looking sympathetically at the okonomiyaki chef still pinned under his body.

“Now the question is,” Ukyou began. “are we going to do something about it?”

“W…what you mean?” Shampoo-kun asked, suddenly panic stricken. 

“Resolve our questions,” she clarified. “Figure out what we are. We’re the only two that really understand what it is we’re going through. We’re also the only ones that can resolve our problems as well. I’m lonely Shampoo. Lonely, confused, and a little scared. Do you know what that’s like?”

Shampoo-kun nodded his head, remembering his own loneliness back in China. Being the best, which meant being apart from everyone else. Some acquaintances, but no friends that he could trust. Being alone in a crowd of people was far worse than being alone with no one around.

“Then help me figure out what it is I am. I need to know.”

Shampoo-kun understood the insinuation. Understood it and wanted no part of it. At least that was what he thought. “You have too much to drink,” he exclaimed.

Ukyou looked sadly at him. “Way, way too much to drink. You betcha. I wouldn’t be talking this way if I hadn’t. But I’m still right. You can help me. I know you can. I can feel you reacting to our closeness. I can feel it pressing against me. It’s been that way since you got me down here. I’ve been trying to ignore it, but I can’t any more. You’re too near to me and located too close to where you should be. I guess Ai knew what she was talking about when she suggested this position.”

“Ukyou. Shampoo can no do this.” he protested. She was right about his reaction, and the positioning was all too correct for that sort of thing. He finally untangled their bodies from one another and stood up. Ukyou did likewise, rubbing her leg to get the circulation going once again. Shampoo-kun felt his pulse start to quicken as he watched her hands move up and down the leg, and found himself admiring the way her muscles were formed underneath the tights she wore. He quickly turned around to avoid watching her. He wasn’t drunk. Not like the last time he went drinking to drown his sorrows. At most he had a heady feeling from the alcohol in his system. At least he hoped it was from the wine and not from something else.

He felt Ukyou move behind him. Arms slid across his chest causing his heart rate to double. They slowly moved from a higher position to one just above the waistband of his shorts. The feel of her hands moving down his chest excited him, there was no doubting it. Why couldn’t he have switched clothing, or at least put his shirt back on? Things would have been less uncomfortable. Looking away from her was supposed to make things better, not worse. But now he imagined her face as she moved behind him. 

She rested her head against his back “Shampoo,” she spoke softly. “You’re the closest thing to a man in my life now. Please, help me. I want to feel like a woman. I want it more than anything in the world.”

He felt something wet run down his back. It took a moment to figure out what it was. Tears. Oddly, his pulse slowed down as he understood what he had to do. Gently, he held her arms and removed them from his body, turning around in her embrace. He was slightly surprised as he saw that Ukyou’s ribbon had fallen from her hair, allowing it to cascade freely down her back. It actually made her appear a great deal more feminine that way. He released his grip on her hands and slowly placed one of his on her hip, drawing her to him. He felt her breath on his chest as she suddenly exhaled in surprise at his maneuver. A smile drifted across his features as he gazed downward into a face with the drying remnants of tears. 

“Ukyou?” he said softly as he allowed his free hand to move up her back and towards her neck.

“Yes?” She looked up hopefully at him.

He played his fingers around the back of her neck. “You is one of the most beautiful girls Shampoo ever know.” He hoped she believed him. He certainly meant it.

At last he found the spot he was searching for. “I hope you remember that when you wake up.” And he hit the pressure point in the back of her neck. The chef slumped in his arms as he quickly caught her up in his grasp. He took note of her face, it had almost instantly lost all of its concerns and worries, making her look even more beautiful than before. Ryouga had to be as blind as Mousse to not realize what he was missing.

Shampoo-kun made his way to her bedroom, smiling at her unconscious form the entire way as he listened to the rain continue to splatter against the walls of the restaurant. For a little while there he had become a bit confused, and might have given in to her desires. She wasn’t unattractive or unappealing to him, quite the opposite. But one thought had cut through the others and made rejecting her advances and rendering her unconscious easy, despite the way he reacted to her close proximity. If he was going to give up his femininity, or at least that part of it, Ukyou wasn’t his first choice for a non-cursed woman to have sex with. 

If he ever gave that part of himself up, it would go to someone else that had prior claim. A certain someone whom he found more desirable than the girl before him. 

If he ever gave that part of himself up.

“YES!!!” Indra shouted. “Look at those roller skaters dodge the barrage.”

Raiden drew back with another lightning bolt and attempted to nail the evading duo. They had been caught out in the rain, and used as target practice by the gods of thunder, when everyone’s fun was interrupted.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING???!!!” a voice boomed from up above.

Five gods of thunder suddenly sobered up very quickly.

“Uh oh! We’re in trouble now.” Was all Thor could mutter.

Ranma bowed down to one knee before Ukyou and grabbed hold of her right hand. “Oh Ucchan. How could I have been so foolish? You’re the only fiancee for me.” 

Ukyou smiled at the prostrated youth before her. “It’s about time you saw the light.”

Ryouga suddenly appeared with Kyoko in tow. When he laid eyes upon Ukyou he absently grabbed Kyoko by the back of her cheerleader uniform and tossed her several miles away. Quickly he rushed to Ukyou and grabbed onto her free hand, holding it to his chest. “I was so naive. Kyoko is nothing compared to you.”

“You got that right, sugar,” she said as she ran her hand along his shirt. 

A pair of arms embraced the chef from behind, wrapping themselves around her waist. “You is really turning into a pervert girl, Spatula Girl. You want to do all three of us at the same time,” Shampoo-kun breathed in her ear.

“Why not?” she responded. “I’m more than enough woman for all of you.”

“What about me, my lovely Ukyou?” Ai suddenly appeared out of nowhere and ran her body against Ukyou’s front, sandwiching the chef between her body and Shampoo-kun’s.

Ukyou considered that for a moment. “Okay. You can help too.”

Ranma and Ryouga moved in closer as well, everyone burying Ukyou in a sea of affection and attention. 

Then she woke up.

“Damn! It was just getting to the good part.” she thought as she rubbed her eyes. It was an unusual dream, but definitely sort of enjoyable. Although what Ai was doing there was a mystery.

“Was I good, Spatula Girl?” 

Ukyou looked down past the foot of her bed to see Shampoo sitting in a chair, watching her wake up. 

“What are you talking about?”

Shampoo smiled. “You moan out Shampoo’s name when you asleep. I want to know if I any good.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was…umm…dreaming about washing my hair.” Ukyou lied weakly, then tried to figure out what Shampoo was doing there? It took her a moment to remember what had happened last night. 

“Oh kami. No. What did I do?” she said under breath.

Shampoo watched the action intently. So, Ukyou had changed her tune once she sobered up. That was a relief. It solved so many possible problems. Of course, there was no way Shampoo was going to let an opportunity like that pass. 

“Oh, yes, Spatula Girl. It just too bad you fall asleep when it getting good. No worry. You stay in bed and look sexy while Shampoo get cold water.” The Amazon got to her feet and began walking as if she was heading to the bathroom. “Then we can try some of the things Ai suggest, and some things I come up with on my own while watching you.” She paused to give Ukyou a seductive wink, then blew her a kiss. 

Ukyou was on her feet in a flash and grabbed Shampoo by the shoulder. “No! I don’t want you to!”

Shampoo looked at her in mock astonishment. “You mean you want to do it as girls? I thought you no like it that way because of Ai. Still, if you want to do it as girls, it all right with me.”

“NO! I don’t want to do anything with you!”

“What you saying, Spatula Girl?” Shampoo was proud of the fake tears she managed to summon. “You say so many nice words to Shampoo. And when you went down on you knees, and pulled down my shorts, and started to…” she made a motion with her hand and mouth. 

“No,” Ukyou whispered as her face went ashen and her heart stopped. She didn’t remember that part. What else had she done and forgotten? And why did some part of her mind wonder if she had enjoyed it or not?

At last Shampoo could keep her amusement in no longer. She began giggling in a high pitched voice at the pale chef. “I just kidding, Ukyou. You just go to sleep in my arms. You no do anything with me. Not even a kiss.”

Ukyou’s heart finally began beating once more. She was still…whatever it was she had been before yesterday had begun.

Shampoo’s face softened as her mirth died away. “Do you feel better?”

“What do you mean?” Ukyou began to wonder if she had done something else she had forgotten.

“It sounded like you needed to talk a lot. And you talk to me about it. Now I want to know if you feel better.” She cocked her head, waiting for the reply.

“Yes.” That was a bit of a surprise. Ukyou hadn’t even realized how much the recent events of her life had bothered her. But now that it was off her chest, she found that she did feel better. “How about you? You said some pretty deep things too. Do you any feel better?”

Shampoo nodded her head, appreciative of the fact Ukyou had asked. “I feel much better too. Thank you for asking.”

“I’m glad.” Ukyou smiled warmly in return. There now seemed to be something resembling a genuine friendship between the two. “Hey! Did we just do some bonding?”

“No.” Shampoo shook her head. “You pass out before we get a chance to do that.”

Two days later:

Tarou watched Ranma from his hidden vantage point. Things didn’t look good for Tarou’s plans. Ranma had completed learning the Yamisenken. Impostor Ranma had to be informed. 

A pair of eyes watched Tarou depart. The boy was making a nuisance of himself and trying to tip the scales in his favor. That was going to have to be fixed.

Tarou arrived at Ryu’s encampment. The delicious aroma of Kaori’s cooking filled the air, making Tarou’s stomach rumble loudly. His hand darted out to gather some of the food when it was stopped by Ryu’s own hand. 

“Who said you could dine with us?” Ryu asked.

Tarou allowed his hand to remain in Ryu’s grip. “No one. And I don’t give a damn! I’ve been going out of my way to help you and all I get is crap. Wise up, buddy. You want me as an ally, not an enemy.”

Ryu slowly let of Tarou’s hand. Under normal circumstances he would have given the arrogant youth the beating he deserved, but these were far from normal circumstances. He needed Tarou and his inside information. 

Tarou helped himself to the breakfast and began speaking to Ryu. “Wise choice, Impostor.” He always used that title when Ryu did something to displease him. Impostor meant anger. Ranma meant happiness. Conditioning Ryu was easy. 

“I found out something important,” Tarou said through a mouthful of breakfast.

Ryu didn’t feel like showing weakness by asking for the answer. He waited for Tarou to explain.

Tarou was disappointed by Ryu’s lack of response. Still, he needed to be informed. “Ranma’s mastered the Yamisenken.”

Ryu was amazed to feel no reaction. Ranma now had in his possession one of the driving forces in Ryu’s life. Yet it was meaningless. If he ever needed conformation about what this fight was really all about, that was it. “So?” he asked.

“It’s designed to counter the Umisenken. If you use the Umisenken, you’re definitely going to lose.”

Ryu unconsciously crumpled the metal plate he had been eating his breakfast on. “How can I win?”

“Relax,” Tarou said soothingly. “It’s easy. Just don’t use the Umisenken. The Yamisenken’s mostly just a counter to the Umisenken. It isn’t that useful for much else. Just stick with the other styles you use, which I’ll admit are pretty damn good from what I’ve seen, and remember what I taught you about fighting Ranma. You’ll have Fem-boy beaten before you know it.”

Ryu gave a false smile in appreciation for all Tarou had done. He was counting the minutes until he could rid himself of the youth’s presence.

Ukyou was surprised to see Shampoo already at her evening session. Not dressed in her usual fighting gear, but rather in a long billowing shirt. When Ukyou asked, Shampoo informed her that she was electing to delay the practice session today. An idea had occurred to her that might make the difference in fighting Mousse.

“What is it, sugar?” Ukyou asked. 

“Stupid Mousse know how I fight. He is going to be practicing to fight me with what he think I know. I going to switch tactics. Catch him off guard. And I need you help.”

“How?” Ukyou asked.

Shampoo placed her hand under her hair and came up with one of Ukyou’s mini-spatulas. 

“Where did you get that?” None of her spatulas had gone missing since she had begun training with Shampoo. She always took an inventory before and after the training.

“After our first fight when you think I Ranma.” Shampoo explained. “I practice with it lots and keep it as a hidden weapon. It nice. I need you to show me how to use proper. I pretty good now. Watch!” Shampoo threw the weapon into a knot of wood in a tree that was forty feet away, catching her makeshift target dead center.

“Not bad,” Ukyou said calmly, then drew six spatulas of her own and embedded them around the tree. Two went higher than the one already there. One left of it and one right. The other four fell below it in a semi-circle around the bottom of Shampoo’s. It was unmistakably a smiley face. 

Ukyou turned and smiled herself, at Shampoo. “I don’t think you can get that good with them. But I’ll try my best.”

Shampoo smiled in kind. “I need you to show me a few other things.” 

Ukyou listened to the plan. With that new move Shampoo had almost mastered, in combination with these new plans, there was little doubt Mousse would be caught off guard

The next day:

“SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!!!”

Ranma stared at his hands in frustration. He had been certain the pose was identical to the one Ryouga used. He thought he was channeling his chi effectively, yet nothing was coming out. At the most he had managed to do was get a little black energy formed between his hands.

“Damn!” He gave up. It was getting late, and he was still hungry, the berries he had found when searching for something to eat had hardly been enough to fill him up. And he was not going to eat any of what Akane was trying to poison him with now. He still remembered trying to figure out what it was she had been trying to make…

Ranma walked into the middle of Akane cooking up a storm and fingered a yellow, wobbly substance. He screwed up the courage to ask. “What is this stuff, Akane?”

“It’s for a recipe Kasumi gave me.” She handed him the recipe. 

“There‘s nothing on here about a yellow, wobbly substance.”

“Sure there is!” she shot back. “It says it right there on the card. Jello American.”

Ranma smacked his head in disbelief. “No, stupid! It says yellow American, not jello American! How could you make such a big mistake?! And how the hell can you make cheese into jello?!”

“It wasn’t easy, and I don’t see any problem with using jello American instead of yellow American. It’ll probably make it taste better!” 

Ranma couldn’t take it any more. He ran as far away as he could in the hopes he would get away from Akane’s cooking. Starving was better. 

It was late at night when Ranma returned to the camp. Everyone, including Akane, had already fallen asleep. As he made his way back to his tent, he noticed he had to move his away from Akane’s since the fathers had moved them next to each other once more. He wondered why he couldn’t learn that chi attack? If Ryouga could do it, he could do it. He was better than the lost one, and he wanted some kind of edge against his opponent, just in case the impostor had some trick up his sleeve. 

Ranma laid down. Exhausted and frustrated at his lack of chi abilities. He needed to learn it. He needed to…

How long he had been asleep, Ranma didn’t know. What he did know was that there was someone in his tent with him. He managed to sit up, just in time to focus on the squat figure that seemed to melt out of the shadows themselves. It moved impossibly fast as the figure’s staff poked him right in the chest, paralyzing his entire body.

“Please, Ranma. Don’t try to fight me,” Cologne said. “I’m not here to pick a fight or harass you or Shampoo. I just want to give you a little advice. Don’t bother trying to use the Shi Shi Houkoudan. It’s fueled by depression, which is why it’s perfect for Ryouga, and useless to you. You fight with confidence. Use that instead. As to the question that is running through your mind, why I’m helping you. Rest assured, it’s in both yours and Shampoo’s best self interest. I give you my word as an Amazon that this is no plot to force Shampoo or yourself into doing something you don’t want to do.”

She turned to go. “You will regain motor control in about one minute. I’ll be long gone by then. And please don’t tell Shampoo what I’ve done. It would only serve to confuse her.” And with that she hopped off on her staff and went into the night. 

The paralyzation wore off of Ranma. For the briefest of moments he considered pursuing, then let it drop. Maybe the old ghoul was telling the truth, wishing he could figure out what her angle was. At any rate, it was more likely a trap. He wouldn’t risk using what she suggested unless it was a weapon of last resort. And he was good enough he didn’t need that to use sort of attack to win the fight. The impostor could be beaten any number of other ways. Especially now that Ranma knew the Yamisenken. The impostor’s attacks would be rendered useless. It was in the bag.

Two days later:  
The day before the fight:

“Master Kunou! Master Kunou!” Sasuke ran through Kunou manor seeking his master. There was little doubt as to where he would be. Virtually all of his time was spent in training with the new techniques in the dojo on the grounds of the estate. The little ninja quickly ran under the crawlspace under the wooden floors of the addition to the main mansion and sprung out from his trapdoor in the floor. As his head quickly twisted around he saw a bokken pointed directly in his face.

“You should be more silent. Tis fortunate my control is supreme, else I would have struck thee with a truly righteous blow.” Kunou sheathed his bokken and gazed over his servant with a careful eye. “What is it that brings you to my presence with such urgency?”

Sasuke bowed before his master. “I’m worried about Mistress Kodachi. She has hardly eaten anything these last two weeks and I fear she might fall ill. She only leaves her room for school and does little else other than cry. Why, she has even forsaken her gymnastics practice.” 

“You’re concern is noted, Sasuke. You have done well.” Days earlier, Sasuke had informed Kunou that Kodachi had moved back home from her most recent domicile, her floral shop where she had lived in sin with the Chinese barbarian. There were very few occasions where he had seen his sister, and even then it had been only in passing. If his sister had foregone her gymnastics practice then things were truly amiss. 

He placed his bokken on its rack and proceeded to Kodachi’s bedroom. He listened carefully upon arriving there and heard no sounds within. More information was needed, so he knocked on the door, only to go unanswered. Not to be denied he simply opened the unlocked door and allowed himself in. The scene before him was indeed pitiful. Kodachi was sprawled upon her bed, appearing as though she had been crying for nearly a week. 

“What troubles you, oh twisted sister of mine?”

She simply sobbed in her covers, saying only one name. “Mousse-sama.”

Kunou understood. “That fiend! He has dared hurt you and toyed with your emotions! He cannot be allowed to debase the House of Kunou so. With my newfound skills, I shall smite him with a blow so hard that the likes of it have never—“ 

The rest of the speech was cut off as a ribbon wrapped itself around his entire body and pulled him to the ground. Kodachi moved with an unmistakable, wild look in her eyes, drew one of her razor rings, and held it menacingly before Kunou’s face. 

“Dare to lay even one finger on him and I will be an only child! Do you understand me, brother dear?!”

There was little doubt she meant every word of it. So be it, if the Chinese barbarian had somehow remained in his sister’s heart, then he would allow his transgressions to slide. At least for the moment. He acceded to his sister’s demands, causing her to release him and return to crying in her bed. 

Kodachi was unaware of how much time had passed as she suddenly became aware of another presence in the room. She quickly glanced around the room, praying her beloved had come to his senses. 

“Mousse, is that you?” She turned to see a figure move from behind the drapes it had been hidden behind. It was Shampoo, bearing an expression of pity for the prone gymnast. 

“What do you want, harridan?” Kodachi sobbed. “Is it not enough that you have aided in tearing my heart into pieces? Now have you come to gloat over your victory as well?”

Shampoo simply shook her head pitifully at the girl. “Mousse is no worth you tears, but if you still love him, even after all he do, then come to the match tomorrow.”

Kodachi stared at her in shock. “I tried to kill you. Why on Earth would you want me at the fight?”

Shampoo’s expression went from one of pity to one of resolve. “Because when I through with Mousse tomorrow, someone should be there to pick up the pieces. I owe him that much. And you is the only one that willing to do it. It not for me. I not want you there, poisonous bitch!” Shampoo wasn’t about to forgive the Black Rose and her little attempt to kill the Amazon. “It for him.” And with that final statement, she turned to go, leaving behind one very surprised Kodachi.

Epilogue

Herb sat in his throne, gazing upon his soldiers once more. His thoughts boiled and flowed over one idea and one idea only. Becoming emperor. He allowed his tongue to lay over his fangs once more. The tongue felt rather odd, almost as though it was starting to divide at the tip, becoming forked as it were. 

He was shocked out of his reverie as the twin doors that allowed entry into the throne room exploded in a cloud of smoke and splinters. His men, as well as Mint and Lime, dropped into battle positions. From out of the cloud a round object was hurled at him with blinding speed. He easily snatched the object out of the air and examined it. It was the head of one of his soldiers. Herb casually tossed it over his shoulder and looked towards the three figures emerging from the rising mist. One was a repulsive hunchbacked man bearing a battle fork in his hands. The second was a woman with a large brimmed Japanese style hat and a body covered entirely by her red cloak. The third was a large man, almost seven feet tall, and wearing some kind of metal breastplate over his chest. He was a large individual, with black hair and a hard, merciless face. He wore some kind of plain metal collar around his neck and had eyes that showed no emotion. They simply bore the harsh stare of those that did anything he wanted with absolutely no care of the consequences. The man took the lead, obviously in charge of the trio.

“Knock, knock,” the woman quietly stated from the large man’s right side.

Herb allowed a huge chi aura to build around him. His abilities were increasing slowly by the day. If they didn’t stop expanding he would soon be able to do almost anything. He would show the three intruders before him just what he was now capable of.

“I am in a generous mood today,” he spoke to the newcomers. “I will allow you one last statement before sending you all to hell.”

“The Shogun sends his regards,” the large man said.

Herb allowed the aura to disappear, then turned to his men. “Everyone, leave!” 

“But Herb--” Mint started to protest.

“Leave us!” Herb proclaimed as his red eyes flared before the wolf pelt covered youth. “I will be all right. These are…allies.”

The soldiers, as well as Mint and Lime, obeyed the instructions, leaving Herb alone with the newcomers.

“It is time at last?” Herb asked the large man.

The large man nodded. “The Shogun will inform you of what is expected of your army. In the meantime, we require the blood you have collected.”

“Yes,” Herb quickly rose from his throne and motioned from the trio to follow. Wordlessly they accompanied the prince and observed him open a secret passage located behind the throne. They fell into step behind him as he uttered one word and the torches in the passageway lit themselves.

“What is your name? I would know our master’s messengers,” Herb said.

“Gemma,” the large man responded. “and with me is Sakura,” he indicated the woman. “and Ushizo.” This identification was directed at the hunchback. “And we are far more than messengers. We are the hand that shall usher forth the new golden age. Remember that.” Gemma growled in response.

“Of course,” Herb stated back proudly. “I was simply referring to the task you do today. Disrespect was not my intent. You are obviously important to the Shogun of the Dark, and I already know what my reward will be for rendering unto him my fealty. We are here!” He announced as the wall located at the far end of the passageway suddenly parted for the newcomers, admitting all to Herb’s private chambers. 

He motioned for the others to wait as he passed his hand over a wall, disengaging the numerous magical traps that prevented anyone from even setting eyes upon his most important treasures. As yet another wall parted it revealed a huge metal door embedded in the wall. A second series of mechanical and magical traps was deactivated as Herb indicated the trio should follow him into the walk in vault. The four saw before them what Herb had been collecting for the last three years. Over three hundred containers of different kinds of blood lined the floor in special holders, designed to keep them safe, even if the vault was turned upside down and shaken by Lime. 

“Be careful with these containers,” Herb warned. “I cannot possibly collect once again all the various bloods in time for the final coming. You have no idea how difficult it was to simply obtain Faerie’s blood alone. And I had to use my own blood in substitution for the blood of dragons. The Shogun indicated that would suffice.”

“It shall,” Gemma assured him. “You have done well, Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty and future emperor of China. You shall be rewarded when the time comes. Now as to the future. You will receive instructions in a few weeks concerning what you are to do with your army.”

“I see,” Herb nodded in understanding. “I shall summon a wagon to aid you in transporting the blood.”

Gemma waved him off. “That won’t be necessary.”

“What do you mean?” Herb was confused. “The three of you cannot possibly transport all of the containers. There’s too many of them.”

“We have already arranged transportation. Observe.” Gemma indicated a section of the wall shrouded in shadows. As his arm pointed to a spot on the wall a figure with gray skin and wearing a leather armor along his torso legs and arms seemed to emerge from the shadow itself. Slowly his body flowed from the darkness as Herb could now make out that his right arm was in truth, some kind of mechanical claw-like appendage. The man fully emerged from the shadow and bowed before Gemma. 

“Meet another one of our members, Herb.” Gemma indicated to the gray skinned man before him. “Shujima. The man who will be handling the transportation of the blood.” Gemma switched his attention to Shujima.

Shujima understood the unspoken communication immediately. “I can have them transported to the Shogun’s lair in about an hour.” 

“Good,” Gemma said without a smile. “Begin now.”

Shujima did as he was instructed, picking up a couple of containers and flowing into the shadows once more.

“We may leave now,” Gemma instructed Herb. “Once Shujima knows where to go, it is child’s play for him to return.”

Despite being ordered about in his own fortress, Herb obeyed the command. Gemma and the others excused themselves and prepared to leave the fortress. 

“What will we do when we return?” Sakura asked.

Gemma turned towards her. “The Shogun has promised to augment our abilities. He feels that the world has changed much, and that the warriors of the present are far more powerful than what the ones of the past were like.”

“I can hardly wait.” Sakura smiled as she thought of gaining even more power than she already possessed. You could never have too much power to blow things up. And from what the Shogun indicated, she would have plenty of things, as well as people, to explode. 

Resurrected life was good.

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Special thanks to Michael Rever for giving me an idea and some dialogue for a scene.

And thanks to:  
Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Shadowmane  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	24. Fight Without Mercy

Prologue

Ghost Sweeper Minami Otaoru watched with loathing as the serpentine body circled itself around where she was standing, but making certain not to come in contact with her. She hated dealing with the nagas. They were always slimy, smelled terribly, and reminded her too much of her past. But it was that darkness that was needed when dealing with these creatures. That's why she had donned the robes of a Dark Sorceress once again, so that they would recognize her as a kindred spirit, though she prayed to all the gods that that wasn't the case anymore.

"So this is the much vaunted daughter of she who was known as Neria the Black, as well as the niece of the Blood Queen herself. We are in the presence of royalty, brothers." The naga before her directed its comments to the snakelike figures in the darkness of the stone labyrinth. The damned creatures always seemed to prefer dank, damp, black holes in the earth. Worse, the place stank of foul magic. How much it reminded her of growing up with her mother. She hated the fact that they reminded her of that time. And that it still fit her like a glove.

Killing this kind of demonic scum was what she had been training the last six years of her life for, not bargaining with it. Still, she had a quest to do and this was where it had to be done. At least, that was what Fistandantilus had said...

The magic convention had been great. She had never seen such a variety of wares and wizards. Everything was there. Everyone was there. Some of the greatest magic users in the multiverse had come to this particular gathering, making it so large that it had to be moved out of Bolivia and into a dimensional crossroads, where even more creatures of the ether had come. White Magic and Dark Magic held even sway at the gathering, forcing everyone to conclude that the turnout was big enough to gain the attention of Lord Chaos and Master Order themselves to enforce the peace. And it was peaceful. Not a single plane of existence had been destroyed.

That was not to say it was not without magical discussions, such as the fantastic mage war between Elminster and the newly reborn Fistandantilus. Everyone was surprised when the pair announced their discussion had ended in a stalemate, which amounted to a loss in all but Elminster's eyes. And then there were those two mages, the short flat-chested red-haired one and her tall black haired companion who wore a scanty dark leather outfit that served to attract attention to her huge chest. Of course it wasn't their physical features that made them stand out in the crowd. It was the black haired woman's laugh, which was easily as insane sounding as Kodachi's, that drew attention as well as her shorter companion's temper. The short one ended up frying someone for suggesting she would look good as a "Lina-chimera."

There was a major disadvantage in the convention garnering such astronomical attention. All the really powerful mages wouldn't pay attention to a neophyte like her, and all the ones of middling power were clustering around the powerful ones, seeking wisdom and knowledge. The people that she spoke to either didn't know how to counteract the magic of the love pills or charged too high a price. She liked Ukyou, but somehow, being impregnated with a demonic entity was going WAY too far to help a friend.

It was quite a surprise when she was walking along, downtrodden, and a voice piped up from behind her. She turned to discover she had attracted the attention of Fistandantilus himself, and she hadn't even bothered to ask him for help.

"You have a rather unique aura," he murmured. "A white soul that has an even amount of black stain. How very rare."

"I'm a unique kind of gal." Minami really wasn't the least bit frightened. If he wanted to do something to her, all the power at her disposal wouldn't amount to an annoyance for one as powerful as him.

"Not unique, just rare. Now, allow me to examine the bracelet." He held out his hand expectantly.

She did as she was bade. What luck! There could be little doubt a mage of his ability could easily break the spell.

He handled but a moment before returning it to her. "The key to unlocking it lies with a Siren, for the pills are in fact pearls, and it is one of theirs that is the key to curing the magical affliction."

"Where do I find a Siren?" Minami asked.

A smile appeared out of nowhere in Fistandantilus's shoulder. A face faded into existence behind the smile, then a body behind the face. Minami recognized the creature as one of demonic legend, a Cheshire Hellcat. If that was Fistandantilus's familiar, he was even more powerful than the rumors had implied.

"One lies with the nagas. Through that portal over yonder." It spoke to her and pointed at portal nearby.

Wonderful, she thought. The only way they would accept her company would be if she were to take on the appearance of a being of darkness. If they knew she was a ghost sweeper, the nagas would either run or try to kill her.

"There is a price for this information," Fistandantilus mentioned.

As always. "What is it?"

"There will come a time of darkness soon, and I would have you still alive no matter the outcome. Therefore," he waved his hand in before her face. "You will live. Even if others won't."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"All will become evident in time. Now take this. You will need it to deal with the Siren if you desire her help," he answered mysteriously, then turned and disappeared, leaving Minami holding a glass cube.

So she entered the portal and ended up conversing with the snake-like creatures with human heads.

"How do we know you are still one of the children of darkness?" It asked.

What a joke. Minami drew out her old sacrificial dagger and spun in a circle, slitting the throat of the invisible naga that had been behind her, ready to strike her dead. She held the bloody weapon idly in her hand as she smiled at the naga spokesman.

"Excellent. Come with me." It slithered along the corridor and came upon a cell door. It silently spoke words of magic, causing the doors to open and reveal a chained, naked woman within, her beauty undiminished by the darkness of the cell. "See to it you only take knowledge from it, nothing else, lest you incur the full force of our wrath."

"Agreed. I need privacy." The naga understood what she wanted and exited.

"I need your help," Minami told the creature softly.

It looked at the disguised ghost sweeper with purple eyes that seemed to look clear through Minami. "Goodness in tune with the dark. What a rare talent. I will help you with what I can," the woman told her.

Minami felt part of her heart go out to the creature of magic before her, but nothing could be done about its predicament, at least not in the near future. "I need a cure for one of these pills that came off this bracelet." And with that she handed the object to the Siren.

The Siren examined it for close to five minutes before coming to its conclusions. "I can give you what you seek." And with that she returned the bracelet to Minami. But this time it held a red gem in one of the holes. "What the bracelet represents is part of our old magic, reinforced with human magic. I cannot break the geas completely, but the gem can negate the effects of the pill so long as it is within three feet of the victim. Now, please go, before the nagas return and sense what I have done."

Minami bowed before the Siren. "I cannot rescue you. It is beyond my ability and my access to this world is limited. Perhaps someday I will possess the power to do so. But I can give you this." And with that she handed the Siren the cube and left.

The Siren watched the door close behind the girl. She was her first non-naga visitor in close to one hundred years, but the damnable creatures would never get the knowledge they sought from her. She looked into the cube, wondering what it was. She gazed into its features and understood what it held as a smile creased her lips. It possessed the greatest gift she could have under these conditions.

It held Hope.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 24

Fight Without Mercy

Standard disclaimer:  
I don't own the characters. They are owned by the goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

C+C greatly appreciated  
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at

or you can contact me at sommer

An Alternate Universe:  
What's gone on before, (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already began a duel there. One mid-air collision later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma, Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan and briefly ended up engaged to Kasumi. After that got cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. Many adventures occurred as many allies and enemies and were made. Recently, Ryu Kumon impersonated Ranma Saotome and married Kaori Daikoku, then made a challenge to the real Ranma for the right to the name of Ranma Saotome. Akane challenged Kaori to a match, and Mousse challenged Shampoo to one last marriage duel. Pantyhose Tarou found out about the challenge and decided to help Ryu defeat Ranma and gave false information to Kaori so she'll lose to Akane. Now, two weeks after the challenges were made the time for the fights has arrived...

Indicates Chinese  
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Ranma's eyes opened to the sound of the alarm. No drowsy awakenings today. Not on this morning. He was up in a flash and halfway to the closet before realizing his old man was still sleeping soundly, despite the noise. Typical.

He leafed through the closet and tried deciding what to wear, hands fingering over the shirt Shampoo had made for him. There had been no chance to wear it since she had presented it to him. Perhaps after the fight. Yes. That was it. He, Shampoo, and Akane could party. A three way victory celebration. Assuming they all won.

He selected a brown shirt with black pants for the match as he considered the idea of a loss. That was no way to think. Together they were invincible. But they wouldn't be fighting together. Each would be separate. Alone. What if one of them did lose? Ranma had been vanquished by Herb and look what had happened then. The impostor might not try to abduct him, but to lose his name? What would he do then? Call himself Shampoo all the time? He never seriously considered the consequences of losing, and now was not the time to start. He would win his fight, he had to. HE was Ranma Saotome. From now until the day he died. The impostor didn't stand a chance.

For all of his bravado, more doubts began to creep in. What if one of the others lost? Akane could stand to lose, not that he wanted her to, but there was nothing other than pride at stake in her match. For Shampoo it was totally different. It was her whole future riding on the line. She should win. She had done everything she could to keep pace with Ranma as his abilities increased, and he was still only slightly better than her. Anymore he usually had only a slight problem taking care of Mousse.

What if the blind one had some kind of angle, as Shampoo believed? What then? He couldn't allow Mousse to marry her. The Amazon had told Ranma on more than one occasion just how much she loathed the idea of having a shared future with the blind one.

Then there were Ranma's emotions to consider as well. It could be said that if there was one person that Ranma truly hated, Mousse was it (thought Tarou was a close second). Mousse had started out as little more than an annoyance, but that feeling had escalated in the ensuing months. He was willing to let the Ranma-Eating Plant incident pass by, but the Nyanniichuan episode had really pushed the envelope. And his actions at Pangea were the absolute limit. Ranma subconsciously fingered at the scars concealed beneath his shirt, a painful reminder of how far Mousse had been willing to go to remove Ranma from his path. Oh yes. There was little doubt that he hated the blind oaf. No way was he going to leave Shampoo in his hands. If Mousse somehow managed to gain a victory, Ranma would have to come up with something to prevent the marriage.

It was all worry for nothing. Shampoo would win. So would Akane. And afterwards, when the trio was victorious, he would be the one paying for the celebration they would all enjoy.

Akane got up groggily from her bed. It had taken forever to go to sleep, and now she was working on only four hours of rest. Tension ran through every fiber of her body as she pulled the yellow sheets from her person. It shouldn't be that way. She had been in fights before, and she was prepared for this one, so why should she be so nervous? Maybe it wasn't herself she was nervous for. Maybe it was Ranma. No, that was absurd. She had watched him train all week learning the Yamisenken, and it was Ranma for crying out loud. He always won.

Except for that incident with Herb. And look what happened then.

If Ranma did happen to lose, what kind of effect would that have? There would be the loss of his family name, and that would mean no engagement. A long time ago she would have been relieved at the idea, but now everything was different. She found herself panicking at the idea of the engagement being called off. On the other hand, she didn't want to marry him either. She was certain of that. Mostly. So what did it mean to want an engagement and not want to marry the guy either? More questions she did not have the answers to.

Akane slowly got dressed into her white gi. The fight wasn't for several hours now, more than enough time to dwell about what might happen. Perhaps she could clear her thoughts by that time. She finished dressing and was going to leave the room when her eyes fell upon the bracer Tarou had given her. Ranma would probably get all moody if she wore it to the fight.

So what? It was her fight, and it was useful as a weapon. She couldn't live her life by trying to decide what Ranma might think of her actions. He would just have to understand for a change.

Shampoo woke up instinctively before her alarm went off. Her body's internal clock was working well this morning. It usually did if she had something important coming up. It was amazing what little tricks her great-grandmother had taught her that came in handy.

Her dreams had been worrisome. They had been of Mousse and all the times they had shared in the past. More good memories than bad, which was something of a surprise since she hadn't thought of him in that sort of way for quite some time. That was a cause for concern. She couldn't risk holding back in the fight. Not for whatever fleeting joyous times they shared a million years ago. This was the present, and Mousse was trying to force himself on her once again. Losing to him was simply not an option.

The veil of drowsiness was cast off as she ran through the mental exercises she had prepared for this morning. If Ranma could look through her mind at that moment, there was little doubt he would have been chilled. She visualized hurting Mousse, breaking bones, brutalizing, possibly killing him. It had to be done. She had to be prepared for going all out against him. No holding back like she had in the past. This time it was all or nothing. And if she lost? Well, that wasn't really an alternative. She no longer owed her opponent anything. Not one blasted thing.

She elected to wear the special outfit she had prepared just for the fight. As she went through the closet her eyes fell upon the pink and purple outfit she had worn during their last marriage duel. The one she had first suffered the change in. That helped focus her anger a great deal. Mousse was the one responsible for tearing her away from the village and forcing her to live in fear of everyone back at home. He was the one.

She moved quickly to the dining room and ran into Akane and Ranma at the same time. All three exchanged an unspoken greeting and sat down to eat breakfast. Kasumi was already present. She was the same permanent fixture at the table every morning, serving breakfast to the family. It was a light meal this time. No one had much of an appetite before the big fights.

All three of the fighters greeted Kasumi, then began picking at their food. Still no words were exchanged between the three, each lost in their own thoughts. Even when the two fathers and Nabiki joined the four people seated, silence still reigned, though Genma did manage to steal all of the food off of Ranma's plate without a word of protest.

The trio of fighters finally removed themselves from the table and separated, each lost in his or her own private thoughts for the upcoming war.

Earlier:

Ryu Kumon awoke from his morning slumber. Seeing it was still dark out, he gently removed his wife's arm from over his chest and removed himself from their tent. He paused one last moment to gaze longingly upon his wife's lovely features before heading out to the darkness of the earlier morning. There were still a few things to get off his chest before making the last minute preparations for the upcoming fight.

Once out of earshot of the tent he fell to his knees and looked high into the starry night sky.

"Father. I only hope you can hear me, up in the heavens, and listen to what I have to say. I know I haven't spoken to you very much. It still hurts me, even after all this time. I still remember everything. Hearing the sound of our dojo shattering and running to it, only to stare upon the ruins that were left will be forever burned in my mind. As I pried your body out of the wreckage and you told me what had happened. I recall crying like a little baby when I bore your broken form in my arms, praying you would be all right. But I knew better, and so did you. Before you died I swore to you that I would discover the Yamisenken and restore the dojo in your honor. I vowed never to let anything or anyone stand in the way of what had to be done to gain that art. And I kept my promise. I have done many terrible things to many people, both good and bad, in order to come this far. At last, I have finally discovered that which I so desperately sought. And now...

"...now it means less than nothing to me.

"Forgive me father. Of all the things I believed I would come across in my search for the Yamisenken, of all the trials and tribulations that I would suffer for discovering the answer I craved so desperately, I never counted on finding the one thing that makes all that I've done seem meaningless.

"I never counted on finding happiness.

"It's true. I never realized until I fell in love with Kaori just how miserable I was. I was a wanderer with a purpose, but still ultimately adrift in the sea of life. What I have with her could never have been obtained with a mere art and restoring our dojo. No. It's so much deeper than that. I only wish you could have taught me what it was like, but I have a feeling this isn't the sort of thing that can be taught, only experienced. And now I have experienced it. I never want this feeling to end.

"I would like to think you want me to be happy. That that is what you wanted me to have in life. Which is why I'm talking to you now. I want to beg for your forgiveness in giving up on my quest. Even if I win today and learn the Yamisenken, it doesn't mean anything anymore. I would turn my back on it in an instant if I could. I want to tell you the truth, out loud, for both myself and you to hear. I need to say it. I want Kaori. That's all. Please father, show me some sign so that I can fight with a clear heart and know that you would approve of what I have done. Tell me in some way that you release me from my vow and want me to fight for my wife and future. Show me, so that I might know victory in the greatest fight I have ever been in."

The single bright light of a shooting star appeared directly overhead, lighting the night sky ever so briefly before fading away into the ether. That was all the confirmation Ryu Kumon needed. It was with a joyous heart that he returned to the tent so that he might hold his wife in his arms until the morning orb burned away the darkness and allowed the day to truly begin.

He would never suffer the bitter taste of defeat. Even the heavens were on his side.

Mousse got up with the morning sun and stared off to the west. Home lay over that horizon, though they would not see the light for some hours yet. How unfortunate he would probably never be able to return there, but that was the way life turned out sometimes. Soon he and Shampoo would be leaving Japan together. She would have the option of choosing their destination, just so long as it was far away from Japan and China. His command of English was fairly proficient. They could travel to the United States, perhaps California. San Francisco would be a good place to settle down. If what he had heard about the reputation of the area was true, they could effectively hide amongst the many unusual denizens of the city, never being discovered by the Amazons, or Saotome. But that was only one possibility. Anywhere with Shampoo would be heaven, no matter how hellish it was.

Surprisingly, he forced such thoughts from his mind. Not today. He couldn't afford them. Today he would have to intentionally hurt Shampoo. All week he had mentally prepared himself for the upcoming conflict. There was no way around it. Shampoo wouldn't back down, which meant he would have to disable her. Silently he prayed he could do it relatively painlessly. He had prepared a variety of nets, chains, cuffs, and ropes with which to incapacitate her. But she was so good. He would almost surely have to soften her up somehow. And that would mean a fight using every one of his abilities and weapons. The only alternative was to be beaten by her, which meant she would eventually be found by their tribe, and executed. And that was only if she didn't get killed beforehand by one of Ranma's many foes. The scum would no doubt use Shampoo as a shield to save himself if it became necessary, just like he had almost killed her with the Musk incident. Mousse allowed a thought of Shampoo, lying in a pool of her own blood, fill his vision. She had to be saved at any cost. Her life was worth any price he could pay. All of this was for her own good, even if the prideful girl wouldn't acknowledge it.

A thorough inventory of all of his items was done before he began his morning exercises. Today would be a day of tragedy as well as a day of dreams coming true. Such irony. If only there were some other way. But there wasn't.

There never was.

Akane was busy stretching out in her room when she heard a tapping at her window. She looked out, expecting to spot Ranma and wonder why he hadn't come to the door. The visitor was quite a surprise.

"Tarou! What are you doing here?" She quickly opened the window to allow the youth in, silently hoping he would keep quiet so Ranma wouldn't hear him. She found herself a little excited that he had shown up. The last two weeks had been the longest time in over a month that she hadn't seen him. For a while there she had been afraid that Ranma had somehow scared Tarou off, as difficult as that was to believe. It was a great relief to have him drop by at long last.

"Can't a guy wish a lady a little luck?" He bowed, then quickly added. "Not that you need it."

"Thanks. It means a lot to hear you say that." It was so kind of Tarou to go out of his way to do this for her. "I'm planning on using everything you taught me, and a few new things I've learned myself."

"Got something even better for you," he informed her. "I've been studying that Martial Arts Take Out style. I can give you a few pointers before your match."

For a moment Akane felt a twinge of guilt about accepting his information. She had told Ranma she wouldn't be training with Tarou anymore. On the other hand, it wasn't really training, and she had accepted some help from Ukyou, so why couldn't she learn from Tarou as well? "Go ahead and tell me."

"Well," he began. "I happen to know she prefers to come in high for the early part of her fights. If you..."

Ranma heard the gentle tapping on the door. He broke off the light exercise he was going through and opened it enough for Shampoo to quietly slip inside.

She made certain to close the door quietly behind her. "I going to go now."

"What?" Ranma became a little scared. Her match wasn't supposed to be until twelve-thirty, a half hour after his match. If he could finish off the impostor quickly there would still be time to make it to Shampoo's match, which was on the other side of the district. But now, if Mousse moved things up, there was no way he could.

Shampoo shook her head. "I need to get out of house and get ready. This waiting is too tense. It driving me crazy."

He nodded in understanding. "I'm thinking of getting there early myself. Maybe I can get him to start the fight early. Then I can beat the crud out of him with plenty of time to see your match."

Shampoo stared at him curiously for a few minutes, than gained a look in her eye, almost as though she quietly came to a decision. "No fight sloppy because you want to see me fight. You going to get into trouble if you fight different because you in a hurry. You could end up beat."

"That won't happen," he scoffed. "I'll kick his scrawny little butt."

She grabbed his hand and spoke urgently. "Ranma. You promise me you not going to worry about me until after you fight."

"I said don't-"

This time she cut him off. "I will worry unless you promise. If you no promise then it going to bother me and I may lose fight."

There was little doubt by the urgent way she was staring at him that she meant it. "Okay," he reluctantly relented. "I promise not to worry about you until after my fight, and I'll be careful when I fight him and win. Now don't you think about anything other than Mousse. I know you can beat him, no sweat."

"Thank you, Ranma," she said softly. Her hand got no further than the door handle when she quickly turned around and kissed Ranma on the cheek. "Good luck," she said as she smiled at him, then quickly departed.

Ranma remained motionless for a few seconds, then slowly raised his hand to where Shampoo had kissed him. It took another few moments before he shook his head, then returned to reflecting about his upcoming fight.

Shampoo felt as though her heart was going to leap out of her chest. She had done it. She had finally kissed Ranma, and he didn't run away in fear or have some other horrible reaction. There was no way she would let Mousse win now. She bounced off, looking forward to removing the obstruction in her path of happiness. Now if only Ranma did the same to his own impediment.

Ukyou finished allowing the last customer out of the restaurant. There was going to be an early closing in anticipation for the day's events. The loss of part of a day's profits could easily be covered thanks to her new source of revenue. She absolutely had to find a way to keep Shampoo on her staff. Maybe she could claim it was in Shampoo's best interest and it would somehow keep her out of Nabiki's mercenary hands.

Ukyou looked up to make sure Ryouga hadn't wandered off again. He had returned two days ago and fell back into the role of his old job. It was just as well. Ukyou had given Shampoo the last couple of days off in final preparation for her upcoming duel. Ryouga's return had simply made that decision easier, and the situation worse.

Ryouga noticed Ukyou's gaze in his direction. He tried giving her a smile, only to have her scowl and turn away. He turned his own head down and gazed at the table surface he was cleaning in an effort to hide his emotions. Already the surface was polished to a near mirror finish, yet he continued wiping at it, trying to figure out what was wrong.

He looked up to stare at Ukyou once more. "So. Today's the big fight." That was weak.

"Yep." She didn't bother to look up from her own cleaning.

"You think Ranma's going to win?"

"Of course," she answered, then hid herself from sight behind the grill, cleaning some unseen piece of equipment.

"Yeah. Ranma's...well Ranma. He doesn't ever lose." The bastard. Ryouga silently added.

"Yep." Was the only response once again.

The situation was really starting to wear on his nerves. Ukyou was usually very talkative, especially around him, but now she was as silent as a tomb. He should know, he'd wandered into some on more than one occasion. "Why are you so quiet?"

"I have nothing to say." To you. she silently added.

"Oh." Ryouga began to feel the black well of depression rise up around him, and he had been fairly happy the last couple of weeks too. Except for the time he and Kyoko had wandered into the North Pole and helped one of the polar station crews fight off some weird alien that could change its appearance to look like anyone else. Good thing it didn't like the cold. Once Ryouga lured it onto an ice floe he used a Bakusai Tenketsu to shatter the ice and send it to the bottom of the ocean. Afterwards, Kyoko risked life and limb to save him from floating off into the deep blue ocean himself.

But now his happiness evaporated. Ukyou was behaving strangely. Perhaps Ranma had done something to her again.

"When are we leaving for Ranma's fight?" he asked

Ukyou's head shot up from behind the grill in surprise. "I thought you'd be going with Little Miss," she paused and switched what terminology she was going to employ. "Kyoko."

"You don't have to call her Miss," Ryouga mentioned. "She isn't really all that formal."

"Whatever," Ukyou growled. There were plenty of other titles that she had for the little tart.

"She has cheerleader practice today. She fell really far behind while we were lost." Almost two weeks in fact. It would have been longer if Ryouga had not broken down and revealed his problem. It was much to his surprise that Kyoko actually liked the curse, and thought he was cute as a bat. Of course that seemed to reinforce the idea that she had really weird taste, which was becoming more and more evident with the passage of time.

Ukyou felt what little joy she had started to experience end up getting smashed. It wasn't that Ryouga wanted to spend time with her, he just needed someone to take him to the fight. It figured. "I'm not going to watch Ranchan. I'm heading for Shampoo's duel."

"What?" Ryouga began scratching his head in bewilderment. "I thought you'd want to watch Ranma's fight. You don't even like Shampoo."

"I helped Shampoo train for this fight, and I sort of want to make sure she wins. Besides," she added. "She's kind of growing on me."

"I see." Ryouga mumbled. He was pretty sure he knew what was really going on. Ranma no doubt had done something to hurt Ukyou, and she was covering it up by claiming friendship with Shampoo. He should have revealed his curse sooner. Since he wasn't around, Ranma had thought he could have free reign toying with Ukyou's emotions once more, and now she was paying for something Ranma had done to her. That had to be why she was so quiet. Oh, Ranma was going to pay once his fight with the impostor was finished, and he recovered from whatever beating he absorbed. Ryouga wouldn't take an unfair advantage like that on him. However, once Ranma was feeling healthy there would be a Perfect Shi Shi Houkoudan waiting for him.

"I can drop you off for Ranchan's fight," Ukyou offered. "It starts a little before Shampoo's."

"Thank you, Uk-chan." Ryouga gave her a serious look as he accepted the offer, though he missed the pained expression she wore when he called her by that name. His thoughts were on the topic of the vengeance he would wreck on his oldest foe. Silently, he hoped Ranma would win easily. That would make the beating he so richly deserved arrive all the sooner. He would suffer for causing Ukyou yet more grief.

Kodachi looked over her outfits, trying to decide which to wear. A decision she did not wish to make. Hiding in her bedroom was what she really desired. To conceal herself away from the world at large. However, she couldn't do it. Staying inside was not an option. Mousse was going to need her.

She settled on a black dress that matched her mood on this day. Shampoo had asked her to be present for the match, as though the purple-haired Amazon somehow knew she would win. It was The Black Rose's fondest wish that Mousse would lose his fight, but considering the way he had treated her the last time she had helped him, it would be a wonder if he would not try to attack as soon as she stepped into his line of sight. Perhaps she would wait until after the fight had begun to make an appearance.

Soun, Genma, Ranma, and Akane headed out to meet the opposition. Nabiki had already gone out to meet some people earlier in the day, and Kasumi had chosen to attend Shampoo's challenge.

The pair of fathers were offering words of encouragement to their two children, each lauding about how wonderful it was that they were fighting for the sake of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts and about how well they were working together. Neither Ranma nor Akane paid their words much heed. Each had his or her own mind working overtime.

Akane was silently thankful she had convinced Tarou to leave without letting anyone know he had been there. It wasn't that Akane was embarrassed to have him around, but his presence would distract Ranma, and subsequently her, from what had to be done today. It said a lot about his character that he was willing to do what she suggested without the slightest hesitation. Ranma would never have done that.

Now wasn't the time to ponder about her fiance's failings, there was too much at stake to allow distractions like that to interfere with what had to be done. She moved closer to Ranma, who had an unreadable look in his eye.

"I know you'll win," she whispered low enough so the fathers couldn't hear. "I have faith in you."

Ranma turned to her and smiled, giving her a warm feeling inside. "I know you'll win too. You're really good now, and I'm proud of how far you've come," he said.

She grinned back at him as they set out for the field. She was going to win. There was no way she could lose with the feeling she had in her heart now.

The quartet made their way to the open field, only to discover it was no longer exactly open. Hundreds of people, mostly Furinkan students, lined the area and waited in nervous anticipation for the upcoming events. Nabiki spotted the approaching foursome and waved merrily at them.

"We should have known," Ranma muttered under his breath. How one person could be so focused on one thing was beyond him. Of course he never made the parallel between her money making schemes and his own obsession with martial arts.

"Your opponents are already here. And you two will be happy to know that you're the favorites," Nabiki informed the pair.

"Are we going to see one yen of the money you're going to be making off of this?" Ranma asked dryly.

"Sure you will."

"I am?" Even Ranma was almost speechless at the idea of Nabiki spreading the wealth.

"Haven't you heard of trickle down economics?" She smiled, then went back to accepting wagers.

Akane just shook her head as she watched Ranma scratch his skull, obviously trying to figure out just what trickle down economics were and how it was going to get him the money.

Ranma was about to ask Akane if she knew what Nabiki meant when he spotted an altogether too familiar face. "What are you doing here, old ghoul?"

Cologne gave one of her patented horrifying smiles. "I'm here to cheer you on. At least until Shampoo's fight begins. It's not often I get to see a male of your caliber fight."

As much as Ranma wanted to allow his ego to swell, he managed to keep in check as he suspiciously glared at the old woman. "Somehow, I doubt that."

Cologne shook her head sadly. "Fortunately, I don't need your belief to keep me going. Remember what I told you about employing confidence."

"Yeah, yeah. I remember," he mumbled. The day before he had run the risk of experimenting with her suggestion. Employing confidence with the technique did allow him to feel a small focus of power that he might be able to use against the impostor. Maybe. Of course there was undoubtedly some kind of drawback or catch to using it. He just couldn't believe that Cologne would teach him anything without strings attached.

Ryouga walked up to Ranma and began speaking. "Don't get you're head kicked in."

"Thanks. With you backing me I'm going to win for sure." Ranma began jumping up and down in mock glee. "Do you have any other words of incredible wisdom for this fight?"

"Nothing really comes to mind," Ryouga answered seriously.

Akane spotted Tarou in the crowd, having beaten her to the field, and waved at the boy. He gave a wide smile in return and shouted out he knew she could do it. With the tips he had given her she was certain she would.

Ranma and Akane immediately went to the middle of the field to face off against their opponents, who were already waiting in anticipation. The two matches were to go on simultaneously, separated by about two hundred feet. All of the contenders were accomplished enough to keep from letting one of the fights drift too close to the other. There were to be no assists from one battle to the other. Each one was an individual match that forbade outside interference of any kind. It didn't matter to the four fighters. Each was certain they would win using only their own abilities.

Kaori remained where she was, dressed in her dark blue take-out combat uniform, and observed Akane stretch out briefly, then prepare for the fight. Kaori had naturally brought along a take-out box loaded with weapons for the contest, but decided at the last moment to set it aside. It was not too far away to use, but if even one third of the information Tarou had given her was accurate, Akane Tendo was dead meat. The mistress of martial arts take-out desired to win this fight using some of the techniques her husband had introduced to her. He would be so proud if she managed to defeat Akane employing some of the art he had taught her.

Both combatants bowed before one another, then stole a glance at the adjoining area where their men were preparing to fight. Seeing there was no other support they could give to the other two, they once more turned to one another and made ready to fight.

Tarou had emphasized that Akane had a weak defense early in a fight and had a tendency to leave herself open to high attacks early. Kaori came in high with her fist which Akane promptly ducked. Tendo then came upwards with a solid punch to Kaori's jaw. The take-out artist backed off, only to be met with a leap kick that connected with her gut. Tarou had claimed that Akane never left her feet for attacks that early in a match and that she stayed mostly on the ground.

Things were not turning out quite the way Kaori expected. She was supposed to be winning the fight easily. Instead, nothing was going right. A leg sweep knocked Kaori off her feet and she narrowly rolled out of the path of the of the follow up ax kick. Kaori managed to leap to her feet and connected lightly with a reverse spin kick to Akane's side. The offense was short lived as Akane came in high with a series of punches and chops. The blocks took their toll as Kaori absorbed the merciless punishment, Akane not letting up for even a second. Tendo managed to sneak in with an elbow to the head and another kick to the chest. She then switched tactics and came in with a volley of blows that left Kaori unbalanced enough that Akane could employ a powerful front kick which, despite being blocked, knocked her opponent to the ground. Instinctively the fallen girl reached back, only to have her hand fall upon her take out box. Realizing that Akane was drawing her fist back in an effort to end the fight with one final blow, Kaori's hand went inside the box and latched onto the one thing that might save her.

Akane unleashed the blow straight for Kaori's face, only to find that her fist was stopped cold.

*KLANG*

Everyone winced as flesh met metal.

The fist had connected solidly with a metal serving tray. Not an ordinary tray, which her fist would have gone clean through, but one made of a specially treated titanium alloy. Akane made one other discovery as well.

"OWWWWWW!"

Even as Akane spun around in pain, praying her hand had not been broken, Kaori rose to her feet and drew back the tray.

"Un-oh," Nabiki muttered.

*KLANG*

Tarou shuddered as he saw Akane's eyes cross from the blow to the head. The tide had turned. Worse, Kaori was drawing back to unleash another blow for Akane's head.

"AKANE! REVERSE HIGH KICK!" Tarou shouted.

Akane instinctively reacted to the command and lashed out behind her. She caught the tray just as it was in front of Kaori's face, driving the metal into flesh and stunning the girl. Both women backed off to collect their wits.

Before:

Ryu felt his heart race as Ranma took a position across from him. Now was the moment of truth. Two weeks of anticipation had at last come to a head. Now that the time had come, Ryu found himself feeling relieved. Now there was no more waiting in fear of something going wrong and his true identity being revealed. Today the name would belong to him, for real.

Both opponents afforded one glance to the fight that had started next to them, watching the girls begin their battle. They bowed before one another, then attacked.

Ryu silently thanked the gods for Tarou. As slimy as the youth was, he had given him enough time to practice with some of the older techniques he had mastered before concentrating upon the Umisenken, and shake off the rust of his employing them in combat. That, combined with the inside information Tarou had supplied, would make defeating Ranma simple.

Ranma was taken off guard by the techniques Ryu used in the outset. He had been under the impression that the impostor would utilize the Umisenken, so Ranma had reckoned on using they Yamisenken to counter and win. He held back from attacking, waiting for Ryu to use one of that style's techniques, but it rapidly became apparent that he wasn't going to use them, opting to go with other styles.

Ryu quickly became frustrated with his opponent. Ranma had not even bothered to attack yet, instead he seemed to be waiting for something, and dodged most of the blows and deflected the rest. Then he realized what it was. Ranma was prepared to counter the Umisenken, and wasn't ready for Ryu's current style. Best to press such an advantage while he possessed it.

Ryu went for an all out attack which allowed him to connect with a blow to the back of Ranma's leg and one to his head, neither of which was gained using any of the inside information Tarou had given him. He got those blows through the old fashioned way. He broke through Ranma's defense by earning it.

Ranma decided enough was enough after two of Ryu's blows landed. He had obviously somehow learned that Ranma had been taught the Yamisenken and that employing the Umisenken against him wasn't going to work. At last, Ranma went on the offensive, throwing punches and kicks at Ryu. He was mildly surprised to discover that his opponent was accomplished at other arts as well. Ranma only managed to connect once with a solid shot into the left side of Ryu's chest.

Ryu weathered a barrage of strikes, mostly directed at his chest. Ranma was good. Very good. In fact, without having been trained to counter many of the boy's attacks, Ryu probably would have been struck at least a half dozen times. As it was, he had a hard time avoiding getting pounded on by the strikes as it was. He countered, going on the offensive once again. The two exchanged close to twenty or thirty attacks when Ryu went in too high with a kick. Ranma ducked under the blow and grabbed onto the extended leg and tossed his opponent to the ground. Ranma leaped into the air, intending to come down with his foot upon Ryu's head. That was one of the attacks Ryu had a counter for. From a prone position Ryu used his great strength to springboard up, using one hand, and vaulted up in the air while lashing out with his own right foot. The ironic thing about it was, one of the specialties of Anything Goes Martial Arts was mid-air combat. Ryu was now using such a move to get in a blow on a mid-air attack. Ryu narrowly missed the kick leveled at him and struck Ranma's head with his own blow. Ranma fell to the ground.

A second kick hit Ranma in the shoulder blades as he regained his footing. Not letting up for a second, Ryu had a third kick blocked, a punch dodged, then hit paydirt once again with a solid punch into Ranma's midsection that knocked him to the ground once more. He leaned forward to hit Saotome's prone form on the earth when his blow was stopped. Ranma managed to prevent the blow by raising his leg and catching the fist with the bottom of his foot. In the back of Ryu's mind a mental note was made about what a marvel of foot and eye coordination it must have taken to halt the fist that way. The admiration was short lived as the other foot joined the first by nailing Ryu in the jaw. He backed off in a guard position as Ranma deftly leaped to his feet, appearing none the worse for wear. It looked like it was going to be a long day.

"Not bad," Ranma finally spoke.

"You too," Ryu agreed.

"You can take her, Akane!" Tarou shouted as she struck Kaori with the third in a series of blows leveled at her opponent.

"Kick Fem-Boy's ass!" he shouted at Ryu.

Tarou continued watching the action from the sidelines as both fights went on. The crowds were cheering at the tops of their lungs about what a performance it was, though neither battle was going quite the way Tarou had expected. Especially Akane's. She would have finished off Kaori easily by now if she hadn't gotten sloppy and tried to finish it with the fist strike. Though Tarou had to admit, if his opponent had been taken off guard that badly he might have risked such a thing. As it stood, Akane had recovered from the worst of the blow to her head and was fighting more evenly with her opponent now. Kaori had obviously abandoned using what Tarou had taught her and was sticking with her take-out style, using a variety of food as a weapon.

Tarou switched his attention to Ranma's fight. That fight was a lot more unpredictable since Ranma could adapt pretty quickly to almost any foe. But if Ryu stuck to what Tarou had taught him, he should win. A smile creased Tarou's face as Ryu spun a kick around that hit solidly on Ranma's shoulder. Just as he was about to cheer Ryu on once more he thought he noticed something about Ranma's pattern of attacks. Then he saw it. Ranma had tricked Ryu into extending too far out on his attacks and was leaving himself off balance. It was subtle, and Ranma had taken his time in doing it. Very sneaky.

"WATCH OUT, IMPOSTOR!"

The warning was too late. Ryu suddenly found Ranma inside his guard and watched as Ranma caught an arm and nailed Ryu with the Amaguriken full in the stomach. Reflexively Ryu went for one of his Umisenken attacks, the Dokuja Tanketsu Sho with fingers extended, and watched as Ranma went reeling from the blow. He shut out the pain from his chest as he went for a second strike for Ranma's own chest, just like he had in their first brief skirmish. His hand thrust forward and met nothing but air. Ranma had dropped to this back and slid between Ryu's legs, then unleashed several blows into his knees, weakening his ability to stand considerably. Ryu barely managed to roll backward before Ranma disabled the legs altogether, and stood up shakily before his opponent. He fell into a defensive posture until he could regain the full use of his legs, something Ranma was determined to prevent.

Cologne looked up at the sky. It was time. It truly was unfortunate she couldn't stay and watch the rest of the fight. It was turning into quite a showdown, but she had to see how the much more important battle between Shampoo and Mousse would turn out. She hopped off on her staff to hurry to the battle across town.

She arrived to see a small gathering of people clustered for the battle. There was nowhere near the carnival atmosphere at this fight there was present at the other. Only a single vendor selling ice cream and a small girl with a croquet mallet on her back stuffing her face on the product was felt as a commercial presence.

Cologne recognized Ukyou and Kasumi standing off to one side of the crowd, remaining close to one another. She could overhear Ukyou reassuring Kasumi that Shampoo knew what she was doing and there was no need to be concerned. If only Cologne had felt that way.

The participants took to the bowl shaped field at the same time. The shape of the field of combat would help keep people from possibly getting injured. There was little doubt Mousse would use a variety of range weapons, and one never knew if a few of them might go astray. In spite of that, everyone stood a good distance away from the fighters. No sense in taking unnecessary chances.

Mousse brought his arms together, concealing his hands within the folds of the sleeves. As hard as he tried to look at ease, he believed he was failing at it. The problem was Shampoo. She stood across from him, as he knew she would. He had envisioned the fight hourly in an effort to accept the fact he was going to have to go all out and hurt his beloved. But actually being there was so different from fantasizing about it. However, there was no doubt in his mind about what he must do. It had to be done.

He was, however, taken off guard by the Amazon's appearance. She was wearing robes that were almost identical to his, save for the fact they were purple. He had no idea why she would possibly want to wear such a thing. She possessed no mastery of hidden weapon techniques, at least not to his knowledge. Perhaps it was all some tactic to take him off guard. If so it wouldn't work.

"Shampoo," he said at the figure standing a good fifty feet in front of him, getting the direction right the first time. "I offer you one last chance to surrender and acknowledge me as your husband." There was no possibility she would accept, but he had to make the offer. Had to make one last effort to give up. If for no other reason than to ease his conscience.

Shampoo gave a soft laugh at him. A laugh bereft of humor. "Do you no understand yet, Mousse? I sooner die than become you wife. And I sooner kill you than die. Now no more talk. Just fight."

He nodded his head in acceptance, the signal to begin. Neither combatant moved.

Mousse was somewhat surprised. Shampoo was usually the aggressor in such matches. Especially since she had to close the distance between them. It was a curiosity as to why the Amazon elected to take a more passive role this fight. Perhaps like the clothing, it was another trick to catch him sleeping. Well, he had a few tricks of his own. Hopefully he wouldn't have to employ the more lethal ones.

After a few more moments of remaining motionless, Mousse decided to take action first. He released a volley of standard chain weapons which Shampoo deftly avoided by leaping to the side, yet remained the same distance away. That confused him even more. Why wasn't she trying to move in closer? His arsenal of weaponry would outlast her ability to dodge them and exhaust her. A secret hope welled within him as he considered that she might be subconsciously throwing the fight. The thought didn't last long as it was quickly disposed of. There was no time for such unrealistic fantasies. He had to fight.

A second volley met with the same fate. Then a third. Finally as he released his fourth set she dashed forward. He gave a soft growl as he finally figured out her strategy. She was trying to relax him slightly by making the same senseless maneuver over and over so he would automatically react as though it were a predictable move. And it worked. She closed almost half the distance before he reacted to the change of tactics and countered with a fifth set from one of his sleeves. This one was used much closer, giving her less time to react. Despite the close proximity she managed to leap up in the air and perform a roll, much like he would have done, to avoid the attack.

He unleashed yet a sixth volley, only to watch the robe somehow fall off in the middle of her aerial move. One of the chains continued on and punched through the garment, releasing a huge cloud of flour which obscured his vision. He barely moved out of the way in time to see Shampoo charging forth from the cloud, right on top of him.

He braced for a strike from the girl, already moving back to roll with the blow and to gain some distance from her at the same time. It was a surprise to see her draw back her arms and then come across in a raking motion. As they swung forward he felt part of his robes snag on her hands and come away with a loud tear. She moved out of his immediate striking range and he saw her remove the material from her hands. Now that he had a moment, he noticed that she had two leather straps wrapped around her hands with tiny spikes protruding from the palms, as well as two bandoleers of mini-spatulas strapped across her chest, in addition to her standard sword and bonbori.

He examined himself and saw the huge chunk of clothing missing from the front of his robes, nearly thirty percent of the total volume. A magnificent tactic. Shampoo knew that if he lacked somewhere to hide his weapons he wouldn't be able to use them. And the less clothing he had the less number of items he would be able to use.

She came in once more, arms raised to rake across his clothing once again. Quickly he pulled a wooden shield from his robe, barely getting it in front of him in time to prevent the attack. Both sets of claws embedded themselves in the soft wood. Deep in the wood. Mousse quickly threw the shield away with a great deal of force, snapping the leather straps off of Shampoo's hands and tossing the claws away with the shield.

Shampoo didn't hesitate in her next action as she raised her fist and struck Mousse in the stomach. She heard him "wuff" as the breath was knocked out if him for a moment. Then he did the unexpected. He spun around and caught her in the stomach with a spin kick of his own. A hard kick. There was the slightest bit of surprise in Shampoo as she understood the fact that that was the first time he struck out at her without holding anything back. Even preparing herself all week it was still quite a shock to actually have it happen.

Mousse slipped a hand inside his sleeve and pulled it out just as quickly, drawing back with his fist. Shampoo caught the glint of something on his hand.

"No. It can't be. He wouldn't use something like that!" she thought.

As great as her shock was at feeling that first kick of his, this was even greater. It was so tremendous that she hesitated for the briefest of seconds, just enough time for Mousse to lash out and connect with a blow right above her eye. The brass knuckles he wore on his hand added to the damage of the blow, stunning her.

Cologne watched in horror as Shampoo paused for a moment while stunned. Mousse had the advantage now, and if he followed up with one more devastating attack he would win. Both the match and a wife.

Rather than follow up, Mousse paused for the briefest of moments himself, sorrowful of his own actions. "Shampoo. Please forgive me."

He drew back his fist once more to finish the fight, but his hesitation cost him. The opportunity he had for a quick victory passed as Shampoo reflexively reached up and grabbed Mousse by the ears and drew her head back. She brought his head downward as she rammed her own forward, directly into the blind one's nose. Cartilage shattered as she broke the nose with her own forehead.

"All is forgiven," she hissed as she released his skull and shook her own head, trying to clear it of the strike she had taken moments before.

The pain was blindingly intense as Mousse staggered away, blood running freely down the front of his white robes, which displayed the fluid so well. "You...you broke it." he blubbered as he tenderly clutched at his face, trying to bring the pain under control.

"I break more than that before we through," Shampoo answered quietly back.

The fight continued.

Akane caught Kaori in the side of the head with another kick. At last, the beating the take-out girl had suffered at the outset of the fight was beginning to take its toll. Kaori was unquestionably getting slower as the fight progressed.

"Get back!" Kaori raged as she lashed out with the noodles she was using as a makeshift cat o' nine tails. The weapon had kept Akane at a distance early on, and even struck slightly several times with blows had not resulted in any real damage.

Akane leaped back to avoid the attack when her foot stumbled on something hidden in the taller grass, causing her to lose her footing. She glanced down from her prone position to see a part of a broken baseball bat. Her mind raced as she realized it would be a very useful weapon. Her hand fell upon the object as she remained prone and feigned helplessness. Smiling, Kaori drew back her noodles and brought them forward, only to have them wrap themselves firmly around the bat. Taken by surprise, it was simple for Akane to rip the weapon out of Kaori's grasp and hurl the bat and noodles away.

"It'll take more than that to stop me!" Kaori shouted. "FISH CAKE SURPRISE ATTACK!" and hurled several fish cakes to the ground in front of Akane.

Akane held her defensive stance for a few moments, then dropped out of it as the fish cakes did nothing. "What's the surprise? That they sit there and go rotten?"

Then the fish cakes exploded.

Kaori observed the cloud of dust, making certain Akane didn't come out of the cloud for a few moments, then began to brush herself off. "That takes care of..." she trailed off as a black sooted Akane emerged from the cloud.

"Around here, you become used to getting caught in explosions," Akane explained as she moved to begin the fight once again.

"What does it take to stop you?!" Kaori yelled. This was the longest duel she had been in.

"More than you've got!"

Kaori smiled at that remark. "I doubt that very much." And with that she pulled out a dozen chopsticks from within her blouse. In an instant they were propelled through the air and at Akane. She attempted to jump over the incoming projectiles and managed to avoid all but two of them. The pair of wooden implements dug themselves into her lower calf.

Her landing came with a loud, "AHH!" as she touched down with the chopsticks sticking out of her leg. A quick examination revealed they were not embedded in deeply. Kaori was going for the win, not the kill. More chopsticks were hurled in Akane's direction as she rolled out of the way again, careful not to put too much pressure on the wounded leg.

Kaori switched tactics and came in close for hand to hand once again. Hoping to inflict even more damage on Akane's leg. She managed to get one solid blow in, collapsing Akane to one knee. Just as Kaori brought her take-out box over for a blow, Akane darted under the lunge and grabbed her opponent's leg, knocking her to the ground. A second later a hard right landed on Kaori's jaw, dazing her once again. The two began to grapple on the ground Akane, slowly starting to gain an advantage over her opponent.

"What count do you have now, Tendo?" Genma asked.

"Eighty six for the impostor. Seventy five blows for Ranma, not counting the Amaguriken."

The battle between Ranma and Ryu raged on, neither one gaining a clear advantage. Each was beginning to feel tired from the number of attacks they had used against one another as well as avoiding the attacks directed at them. At last Ryu connected once more with a palm strike to Ranma's chest. No advantage was gained as Ranma retaliated with a three hit combination of fist, elbow, then roundhouse kick to Ryu's jaw. The flesh on the chin split open and blood poured from the open gash on the point of his jaw. Ryu felt the blood with one of his hands, then flicked some at Ranma.

"That's nothing," Ryu spat. His first blow was a high punch, then he followed it up with another Dokuja Tanketsu Sho, nailing Ranma right in the heart despite Saotome's attempted block. There was no follow up as Ranma answered with a Haku Dato Shin Sho. The series of finger strikes impacted so hard that the force of the blows seemed to go clean through Ryu. Both youths reeled back in pain from the successful attacks.

"I won't let you win!" Ryu said, chest heaving from his exertion.

"My name's staying right where it is, pal!" Ranma shot back.

Both of them came in for punches once more, each striking solidly with the other. Ryu suffered yet another blow to the head in order to grab Ranma by the body and force his upper torso down. He then proceeded to use a move he had seen a Muy Thai boxer use, bringing his knee up a number of times rapidly into Ranma's midsection.

Ranma caught the knee on the ninth blow and gained enough leverage to get Ryu off his back and throw him chest first into the ground, while still maintaining the hold on the knee. Ranma then bent it backwards, opposite the direction it was supposed to go. Only Ryu, managing to twist his free leg around and strike Ranma's head, kept the knee from popping out of joint. Ryu regained his feet and gave Ranma a palm thrust to the head, opening a cut right below the hairline. Ranma caught the follow up elbow and leaped to his feet, nailing Ryu with a double kick in the chest.

Ranma lashed out with two jabs at Ryu's head, which were blocked, then came at him with a kick. Ryu caught the appendage and leg-whipped Ranma to the ground. He had just enough time to level two vicious kicks into his opponent's back before Ranma once again got to his feet and leaped into the air. Ryu made the mistake of following him up, only to get smashed back down into the ground.

Shampoo leaped backward as Mousse used the "blow of the swan fist" in an effort to bring his opponent low. She answered by grabbing her bonbori and shattering the duck potty seat he swung at her. It was Mousse's turn to leap back as he threw out a wire cord in Shampoo's direction while still going backward. The wire looped itself around the handle of one of her bonbori and cut right through it, allowing the hunk of metal to fall to the ground as Shampoo gaped in astonishment at the fate of one of her favorite weapons.

Mousse was quick to follow up this time as he pulled a bo staff from within the robes and attempted to strike Shampoo in the head. The Amazon easily caught the weapon with her free hand and shattered the pole-arm with her remaining weapon. Two swings with the bonbori were evaded by Mousse, who backed off and threw a variety of shurikens and throwing darts in Shampoo's direction. Even as she tucked and rolled, dodged, and leapt out of the way of the projectiles she took note that he was aiming for her arms and legs. The blind one was being careful not to end up with a corpse for a wife, but he didn't seem to mind marking her up a bit.

Shampoo retaliated by hurling a number of the mini-spatulas, knocking most of Mousse's thrown weapons to the ground while forcing him to be mindful of her own attacks. The tactic worked long enough to catch him off guard and allow Shampoo to flip over his head, bringing a fist downward as she was upside down and poised directly above the blind one's skull. As she landed behind him his foot lashed out again, this time in a reverse kick, catching her fully in the back. She rolled with the blow, but felt the impact continue to bother her.

Mousse activated his elbow blades from his robes, only to have Shampoo destroy them just as Ranma had done during the Ranma-Eating Plant encounter. A quick two kick combination met with Mousse's head and chest, driving him backwards. Her hand darted out, tearing off another patch of robes from Mousse's person.

A running chainsaw appeared in Mousse's hands and he swung it in Shampoo's direction, causing her to back off for momentarily until she drew her remaining bonbori once again and brought it down on the machine, smashing it into inoperable junk. There was no respite as the blind one proceeded to throw a bag of powder at Shampoo's face. She barely managed to close her eyes and hold her breath in time to prevent the powder from affecting her. Unfortunately it left her vulnerable to Mousse, who had donned a gas mask to prevent the sneezing powder from bothering him. A kick to the chest sent her flying out of the cloud, landing hard on her back.

A cattle prod sprung from out of the sleeve and into Mousse's hand as he thrust it at Shampoo's prone form. From a seemingly impossible position she rolled to her feet even as the prod dug into the earth where she had been but moments before. Ripping the cattle prod out of his hands she swung it in an arc, breaking it over his skull. A knee then found its way into his stomach doubling him over. His foot lashed out, stomping on Shampoo's foot in a very basic but effective attack, causing her to hop back on her good foot and try to regain the balance on both legs.

She barely evaded the battle ax that next appeared in Mousse's hands and was aimed at her mid-section. He must have been getting desperate. If she hadn't moved in time the slash would have cut her in half. She grabbed onto his arm as he attempted to bring the weapon around again, and twisted. The pain caused him to drop the weapon, but allowed him to use enough force to get out of Shampoo's grasp and back off.

A series of bolos were thrown out to try to incapacitate Shampoo. She narrowly avoided the attack and was forced away from Mousse once more, losing ground in the process. More knives and hand axes came flying at her as she had to leap to keep from being sliced to ribbons.

Her sword was in her hand in a flash as she prepared to move to attack once more. However, Mousse was waiting for its appearance as he drew a powerful electro-magnet that ripped the sword out of her hand and attached itself to the device. Mousse tossed the mechanism away and brought out even more throwing blades as Shampoo began dodging once again.

Cologne was watching the fight with a careful eye. Things were quickly escalating between the two, especially Mousse. It was painfully obvious he was beginning to get desperate and using more and more lethal tactics in his efforts to defeat Shampoo. Her concentration on the fight was so intense she did not even notice the newcomer move next to her until she spoke up.

"Greetings, elder. It's been a long time."

Cologne turned in wide eyed surprise at the newcomer, Silk. "I didn't know you were in Japan!"

Silk bent over and embraced her friend in greeting. "I arrived here about two weeks ago. You're a difficult woman to find."

"I was busy doing things," she explained as she returned the embrace, then backed off. "You were looking for me?"

"Yes." Silk nodded her head sagely. "Your presence was 'requested' by the council. There are many things happening that need your supervision, or at least advice."

Cologne arched her eyebrow at that. With her absence, Be Dea was undoubtedly running things the way she wanted. 'Requesting' Cologne to return was the last thing that particular elder should have wanted. It could only mean something important must have been transpiring back home. Cologne was going to have to come up with some explanation for her extended absence. And the truth was certainly out of the question.

"Your great-granddaughter fights well," Silk commented. "It appears her longtime suitor is going all out as well. I'm glad I didn't miss this one."

Cologne simply nodded in agreement, her concentration divided on both the fight and her reasons for coming to Japan.

"I heard an interesting rumor back home," Silk mentioned as Kasumi spotted her and the two waved at one another.

Cologne looked at Silk, bewildered at the exchange she had with the eldest Tendo daughter. Things were occurring without her knowledge. "What rumors?"

"Oh, silly ones. Like Shampoo fell into Nanniichuan and turns into a man."

Cologne managed to keep her face motionless. "What ridiculous gossip."

"Yes. Ridiculous gossip," Silk agreed. "I stopped by Soun Tendo's place this time."

"Soun?" Cologne asked. She had no idea why Silk spoke about him with such familiarity.

"My lover from Japan. I thought I mentioned him to you."

"I knew there was someone here that stole your heart, but you never mentioned his name." If she had, Cologne would have undoubtedly been able to use that information in some way.

Silk scowled. She had been sure she had mentioned his name somewhere before. It didn't matter though. "He has some interesting company. A little red-haired girl called Shampoo and a rather handsome young man who seemed familiar. Why, if I didn't know it was so preposterous, I would have mistaken him for Shampoo's twin brother."

"I see." Cologne maintained a neutral voice.

"It's probably a good thing no hot water was hurled around. If it had been Shampoo, and if there was a change before my eyes, I would have been honor bound to report it to the council. If such a preposterous story were true. It's a good thing there was no hot water wasn't it?"

"Yes." Cologne nodded. "A good thing." Cologne understood what Silk's meaning was through those veiled words. "I won't ask any questions, and I'll shut my eyes to what's going on, but I won't directly lie for you." That was more than the matriarch could have dared hope for.

"Let's continue watching the fight. It's intensifying again," Silk said as she returned her attention to the fight.

Kodachi at last arrived at the duel and kept to the back of the crowd, out of sight of her beloved, lest her presence affect him. It was so painful to watch him suffer a savage beating at the hands of the Chinese witch. But if he lost, then he might be able to know happiness at some point in the future. Silently she prayed for him to be beaten with a minimum of force.

Tarou watched the ensuing fight with barely restrained glee. Ryu and Ranma's clothing was torn in a number of places, and both bled from minor wounds. Each fighter was sacrificing defense for offense, and it was rapidly beginning to wear the duo down. Oh how he relished the pain Ranma must have felt as each blow landed. Tarou only wished it were him inflicting that kind of punishment. On the down side, neither fighter could keep up that level of ferocity for very long without absorbing too much damage and falling.

Tarou was wrong. Each fighter continued to deliver an incredible amount of blows, many of them landing fully on his opponent.

Ranma came in low with a tackle in attempt to flip his adversary over, only to have Ryu maintain balance and give a two fisted blow into Ranma's back. Saotome was certain he felt one of the disks in his back slip from the force of the impact. At last, Ranma finally got enough leverage to hurl Ryu over his head and land on his back. Ryu regained his footing as quickly as it had been lost to him.

Ranma brought another kick into Ryu's head and felt something in the face give. He paused a moment to catch his breath and let the pain register on his opponent.

"Give up...man! You can't take...much more," Ranma gasped out.

"This is...nothing." Ryu's labored breathing matched Ranma's own. "I know girls that...hit harder than...you."

"So do...I. In fact I'm...engaged to her."

"Then...let me put you...out of your misery." Ryu launched another kick at Ranma, which Saotome easily caught, just as Ryu planned. As Ranma held the leg Ryu spun around and lashed out with his free one, nailing Ranma in the head while the force of the blow made Ranma release the leg. Ryu's next punch was blocked as Ranma connected with Ryu's chest, breaking a rib. Even as bone broke, Ryu caught the arm and, through tear filled eyes, bought his own arm up from underneath it. Ranma cried out in pain as his shoulder popped out of its socket. Only a backfist from Ranma saved him from being defeated in the next second, the blow making the already broken cheekbone in Ryu's face split into three pieces as he cried out in agony and backed off.

Even through the pain of his shoulder, Ranma knew what kind of damage he inflicted on his opponent. "Give...up. It's my...name. I...ain't letting...you have...it."

"I'll...never...give it...up. You...have to...kill me...first."

Ranma gathered his strength as he spoke through clenched teeth. "I'm Ranma... Saotome...of the Any...thing...Goes School of...Martial Arts. It's what...I...am. I don't...give...up"

"Then...fall!" Ryu came at Ranma with a fist, only to have Ranma side step it and hit him in the mid-section with a kick. Ryu's hand hit Ranma's separated shoulder, causing Saotome to shout out in agony and kick Ryu in the leg, temporarily paralyzing the nerves from the power of the blow, before staggering out of the way.

Ryu fought through the pain and rose to his feet. He was audibly sobbing as pain threatened to rob him of consciousness. "I'll...never...give...her up!

I..." Chi energy built up in his hands.

"...LOVE..." It doubled, flaring up between his palms.

"...HER!" And with that he unleashed the Kijin Raishu Dan at Ranma. The chi bolts of energy hit Ranma with full force and sent him flying over thirty feet away. The last ten feet kicking up a good amount of earth that left a groove where Ranma traveled.

Everyone gasped at the move, save Kaori and Akane who were still rolling on the ground fighting, and wondered if Ranma had even survived the blow.

"I'd die for you," Ryu whispered under his breath then sagged to his knees, feeling totally drained. It didn't matter. The name was his now.

Ryu failed to notice the single hand raise itself towards the sky. Others noticed, as Ranma lowered the hand to the ground and heaved himself to his feet.

He was smiling.

"That...the...best you...got?" Ranma allowed a ball of chi energy build up in his only working arm.

"Well..." the chi doubled in size.

"...here's..." it tripled.

"...MINE!" Ranma unleashed his first Moko Takabisha directly at Ryu.

Ryu saw the build up of chi and decided there was no chance he would be able to dodge it. He began to brace for the impact when he saw the man out of the corner of his eye. It was a figure he knew all too well, and his presence was certainly a surprise. Kaori must have informed him of the challenge and quietly sent for him, not wishing her husband to worry about such a detail. But by far the worst part was whom he was speaking to. The man was standing next to Genma, talking to him. It was at that moment that Ryu noticed the man turned to look at him. The instant Ryu's eyes met the older man's he understood.

Mr. Daikoku knew the truth.

It was all over.

All of that happened in a split second. There was only one thing left to do. Rather than brace for the incoming chi attack, Ryu through his arms wide open and accepted the full force of the Moko Takabisha, silently praying it would kill him.

Not a sound was heard outside of the energy making contact with Ryu's body. For a moment his body disappeared in the light of the attack, making all wonder for the briefest of seconds if the shot had disintegrated him altogether. As the light died down all could see Ryu's form fly limply flew through the air, as though he was an angel with its wing severed, falling from the heavens.

It was with an audible thud that his body landed not ten feet away from where Kaori and Akane continued their fight, Akane clearly with the advantage and on the verge of winning. Both girls looked up at the sound and saw Ryu's limp form land next to them. Their reactions were very different as Akane released her hold and looked over to where Ranma was standing while Kaori ran over to the side of her beloved.

"RANMA! RANMA! SPEAK TO ME!" Kaori began shaking his limp form, too far in shock to consider what additional damage she might be doing to him.

"Let him go, Kaori."

Akane turned to see an unfamiliar man with big ears that had made his way to Kaori's side.

"He's hurt, Daddy! I have to help him!" She held him more gently, but remained where she was.

"He's not Ranma," her father informed her.

Kaori continued sobbing. "I don't care if he lost his name!"

"He didn't lose his name, Kaori It was never Ranma to begin with. He lied to us," Daikoku's voice remained neutral. "He lied to you."

Kaori looked bewilderedly at her father. "What do you mean?"

"I talked with Genma over there." He indicated in Saotome's direction. "The boy that was fighting this impostor is the real Ranma Saotome. It's the truth. This is all my fault. I took the impostor at face value. I was so happy that we found him I didn't bother to check his history. I'm sorry."

Kaori shook her head in disbelief. "No," she whispered. "It's not true."

"It...is," Ryu managed to gasp out. Tears of sorrow falling from his eyes as he remained motionless. After taking the blast full force from Ranma, Ryu had felt unconsciousness moving in. He wanted to give in to that inviting darkness, but then he heard Kaori's cries. He couldn't fade away until he knew what was going on. Until Kaori knew the truth. "Sorry," he rasped, then yielded to the beckoning darkness as he drifted into unconsciousness.

Kaori stared at his form, stunned. Something snapped inside her mind as she grabbed his slack body and began shaking it. "It's not true! Tell me it's not true! You're Ranma Saotome! Tell them! Tell everyone!"

Her father physically restrained her as paramedics were called to the scene, all the time Kaori kicking and screaming about how Ryu was lying and he really was Ranma Saotome. Akane had been so enraptured by the revelations that she had paid attention to nothing other than the discussion. Once the most exciting part was over she at last turned to ask Ranma what he thought of what had happened.

He was nowhere to be seen.

Ranma had remained where he was long enough to see Ryu wasn't going to be getting up in the near future. After those few short seconds, he turned and headed off.

"Gotta' help Shampoo," he mumbled quietly as he weakly staggered away towards the other fight.

Ukyou watched as Shampoo and Mousse leaped around, each trying to incapacitate the other. It had been nearly ten minutes since Shampoo had been able to get close enough to engage Mousse in physical combat. Ukyou was beginning to fear that even the Amazon's tremendous endurance was going to run out before she could finish off Mousse.

Ukyou could see Shampoo's eye had swollen shut from Mousse's first punch. Whether it was exhaustion, or if Shampoo's depth perception was affected because of the eye, the chef wouldn't have been able to say. But as Shampoo used the last of her mini-spatulas to deflect another volley of Mousse's shurikens, two of them missed. The two incoming projectiles headed onward to their destination: Shampoo's head. Ukyou knew there wasn't enough time to draw her own spatulas to deflect the course of the blades before it was too late.

It didn't matter.

Shampoo held up her forearm and blocked the shurikens with her own flesh. Both projectiles bit in deeply, but the Amazon never flinched, not even after they struck. Gasps were made by the crowd as they observed the weapons protruding out of her arm. About the only one that didn't gasp was Shampoo.

She gave a look of total disdain towards Mousse as she shut out the pain. "What this supposed to do? Irritate me?" and with that she slowly withdrew both objects, eyes never leaving Mousse as she tossed them to the ground. She began slowly walking towards Mousse at a steady, even pace, anger now in her eye.

The shock of what she was doing was so great that Mousse remained motionless until she covered half the distance to him. Once he shook out of the shock he gave a battle cry and threw everything he could at Shampoo. It wasn't enough as she managed to evade all of the objects and got within reach of him. Her punch connected with his broken nose, causing Mousse to cry out in agony and grab at it.

The opening was all Shampoo needed. She grabbed roughly onto his robes and with a mighty pull ripped the garment totally off of his person, leaving him in nothing but his blue pants and black slippers. She tossed the robe, and all the weapons within, away as Mousse made several leaps back until he was a good fifty feet away.

"Stupid Mousse! You can no do anything from back there. You have no more weapons. Now come to Shampoo." She curled her finger and beckoned him to come back to her, her smile promising a great deal of pain.

"There's one last trick up my sleeve." And with that he raised his arms in the air and balanced himself on one leg as he allowed years of frustration to come to the fore once again. Shampoo's eyes widened as she saw his form start to glow.

"The Soaring Eagle Strike," Cologne mumbled. "But he's using frustration instead of serenity. An impressive modification."

Ranma finally managed to clear his head as rushed to the edge of the battlefield. He stopped next to Cologne to get a good view of the fight, arriving just in time to see the huge white chi bird form in front of Mousse. The bird launched itself towards the purple-haired Amazon with a scream of burning air. Ranma saw she had just enough time to raise her hands and see a brief flash of light before her form disappeared in the blinding light. As the bird struck her there was a tremendous explosion that engulfed the area, knocking everyone but those next to Cologne off their feet. The elderly Amazon managed to erect a chi shield just in time as dust enshrouded the whole field.

"SHAMPOO!" Ranma screamed at the top of his lungs and rushed forward, only to be stopped by Cologne's staff.

"What do you think you're doing?" He snapped, drawing his good arm back to show he was ready to use force to get down there.

"You are too ready to give up on my great-granddaughter. Don't underestimate her," Cologne chided. "Didn't you see that flash of light before the bird hit?"

Ranma nodded.

"Good. Now see what happens." Cologne said then turned back to the field of battle.

Mousse stood motionless, jaw dropped in amazement. The attack was too powerful. He hadn't been able to get anywhere near that much force before. The increase of power almost certainly had to have something to do with the robes. Perhaps the hidden weapon technique had somehow interfered with the ability to summon his chi. And now, now he had killed Shampoo. There was no possible way she could have survived the detonation. Even Ranma couldn't have, though it had almost seemed as though the explosion was too big, even for the amount of chi he had used.

"Shampoo. I'm sorry," he started to sob.

The wind began to blow the dust away, allowing Mousse to see the destruction he had wrought. There was a crater about forty feet across and ten feet deep, showing the incredible amount of power that he had unleashed. Just as he began to pray to the gods that they should watch over Shampoo, he saw a figure standing in the quickly retreating dust.

"A demon?" he exclaimed, come to take him to hell perhaps. The cloud at last blew away from the figure, leaving Mousse staring at something far worse than any Angel of Vengeance he could have imagined.

Shampoo stood before him, half naked and bearing a very evil gleam in her eye.

The explosion had blown off a good portion of her clothing with just enough remaining to hide her somewhat modestly, but aside from that there was no outward sign of injury.

Shampoo pointed at him and laughed. "That was pathetic. Just what I expect from you!"

"NOOOOOO!" Mousse screamed at the top of his lungs and grabbed several fallen weapons, a couple of chains and a pair of bolos with a wire connecting the orbs. It wasn't fair. He had given Shampoo his best attack and she stood there and LAUGHED at him. Just like she always did. He wanted to win. He needed to win. He needed to beat her just once. He needed to prove he could do it to everyone. He was not a joke. He was a martial artist, one of the best. He shouldn't be mocked. He was a man. He deserved her love, not her ridicule. She shouldn't be LAUGHING at him.

First he threw one chain, which she dodged, then a second, which she avoided much more slowly. He knew it! She was almost exhausted. She wasn't an invincible juggernaut that could take anything. She had to be close to the end.

He threw the final weapon, the bolos. This time she failed to evade them as the wire came across her front and looped themselves around her torso, pinning her arms to her side. It was over. Mousse leaped into the air to unleash one final kick.

Shampoo raised her right leg, arms remaining pinned to her sides. She silently praised her great-grandmother for making her learn how to balance herself without the use of her arms. One never knew when an appendage might get incapacitated, the elder had said. So the Amazon was perfectly balanced for the ace in the hole that she was about to reveal. It had to work. She lacked the time and strength to snap the wire that bound her arms to her sides. It was now all or nothing.

Mousse lined himself up perfectly as he leapt in the air and prepared to finish her off. Shampoo drew her leg back, timing the move just right.

"KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN REVISED! KICK OF DOOM!"

Mousse suddenly found himself on the receiving end of one hundred and thirty four kicks that pounded over the entire length of his body, breaking five ribs in the process. Shampoo would have hit him with more if there had been any strength left. As it was, she slumped to the ground on her knees even as Mousse struck the ground, unconscious. It was finally over.

Mousse lost again.

For the last time.

Ranma watched Shampoo closely as she slowly undid the bolos wrapped around her and spotted him. She waved and began to make her way over when Ukyou and Kasumi rushed to congratulate her on the hard fought victory. Ranma was going to follow when Cologne motioned for him to remain where he was.

"I want to make sure she's all right," Ranma growled.

"Stay here for a moment," Cologne requested.

"Forget it!" he growled back.

Cologne looked him over with a careful eye. "What's wrong with your arm?"

"I got a separated shoulder," he explained

"I might be able to help. May I?" Silk asked, then indicated Ranma should stand still. She placed her hand on the injury and closed her eyes. When she opened them she stared directly at Ranma. "You are correct. Now allow me to help you with an ancient Chinese method of fixing such things. I-" she stopped abruptly as she pointed over Ranma's other shoulder. "What's that over there?!"

Ranma swiveled his head. "I don't see anyth-"

*CRUNCH*

"AHHHHH!"

Silk thrust the shoulder back where it belonged. She took careful note of the faintness that nearly toppled Ranma from the pain, then placed a finger on a pressure point to take the edge off the pain. Almost immediately he began to relax.

"Why didn't you hit that spot before?" he questioned accusingly.

"You weren't in as much pain. Besides, you may have to do that yourself someday, and you should get used to the pain."

"Relax, boy." Cologne gave her toothy grin. "I'm sure you'll want Shampoo all to yourself so the two of you can compare notes. Let her finish with her friends before coming over to you. I have to leave in a few minutes and you probably have some questions for me."

She was correct "How did she survive that blast?" Ranma asked the diminutive Amazon.

"That flash of light you saw before the Soaring Eagle struck was the Dragon's Scales defense." She saw that had captured Ranma's interest and continued. "It's a defense that has a two-fold purpose. One is the rather obvious use, that of preventing chi attacks from striking the body, as you saw there. The other one is what the defense is primarily used for, that of multiple opponents. The scales guard the body in every way. There are no openings in the defense. Once someone attacks the user, the chi field explodes outward in an omnidirectional blast, incapacitating everyone but the person in the center of the field. If someone employs a chi attack against it, it uses both chi from the defense and redirects the chi used against it. That's why the explosion was so big. It used both chi in an outward attack. Shampoo has somehow learned this technique on her own. Quite surprising actually."

"It sounds pretty good," Ranma commented.

Cologne lost some of her smile. "Actually, it's not that good of a defense except under certain conditions. Releasing a chi blast in every direction is very draining. There are better defenses, and it's not a selective attack. Anyone within range will be caught in the explosion, so you should never use it around allies, unless you don't mind losing them."

"What's it used for then?"

That got him a light rap to his head via staff. "Didn't you listen to what I said? It's ideal against a group of attackers. Especially when you have one person stand in the middle of such a group then have another farther away unleash a chi attack into it, combining the chi. It can destroy dozens of opponents if used that way."

"We'd better leave now," Silk reminded Cologne, then proceeded to walk away. Cologne hopped quickly to catch up to her.

"Wait!" Ranma shouted. Both Amazons stopped to look back at Ranma. "Why'd you teach me that chi attack?"

Cologne gave another one of her toothy grins in response. "It's called the Moko Takabisha. And wouldn't you like to know?" And with that as an explanation the two left.

Ranma's eyes followed the duo as they walked off into the distance. Cologne was proving herself an enigma. Why was she trying to help him? If it wasn't for her informing him to use confidence with the technique he would never have defeated the impostor. Nothing made sense any more.

"So why did you teach the boy such a powerful attack?" Silk asked as the duo continued on their way to the airport.

Cologne weighed the value of telling her companion. Silk had already gone out on a limb for her once, so trust was not really an issue. "I wanted to keep my options open and I needed the boy to win his fight. If Shampoo had lost to Mousse, it would have fallen to Ranma to challenge and defeat the dolt. And if Ranma had lost to the impostor, he might not have been in any shape to fight."

"That would have transferred the engagement from Mousse to Ranma," Silk supplied.

"Yes. Well, I don't believe my great granddaughter would mind that very much." Cologne's smile grew even wider. "And I don't think I'd have a problem calling him my son-in-law. Even if he is more trouble than he's worth."

Ranma was still trying to understand what had happened when he was shaken out of his reverie by a hand that laid itself gently on his shoulder. He turned to see Shampoo smile at him. For all her effort it really was a horrible sight. She had a puffy lip and her left eye was swollen completely shut.

"You look just like I feel," Ranma commented.

"Ranma look even worse than I feel," Shampoo retorted back, the smile remaining on her face.

"Where're Kasumi and Ucchan?" Ranma began looking around for the others.

"I send them home. I say not to worry, Ranma will help take me home. So they do as I ask."

Ranma had a feeling there was more to it than that, but was most definitely not feeling up to interrogating her. Shampoo, on the other hand, was not so relaxed.

"Was that great-grandmother you were talking to?"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "I can't figure out what she's up to though."

"Just be on guard. She very sneaky and smart. Smarter than both of us together." Shampoo said soberly as she looked over Ranma more thoroughly. He appeared totally trashed. It was difficult to believe he was able to make his way to her fight with all the injuries he bore. The pain had to be tremendous. "Did you..." she found she had difficulty continuing.

"Did I what?"

"Is you name still Ranma? Did you win?" She finally managed to get out.

He gave her a big smile. "Of course. If you think I look bad you should see what the other guy looks like. I hope he survived." Ranma tried to shrug, then winced as pain shot down his formerly separated shoulder. Then pain relief from the pressure point was already a distant memory.

Shampoo saw that and lost her smile as she suddenly became very concerned. "You need to see Dr. Tofu."

Surprisingly, he didn't resist. Instead he looked at her in an equally concerned manner. "You need to go too. And no 'is just small scratch' stuff this time."

Shampoo nodded in agreement. They both needed a check up, then rest. She felt like the next step she took might be her last. As exhausted as she was, she could probably sleep for a week and still feel tired.

The duo walked slowly off. Shampoo making the mistake of trying to loop her arm through Ranma's, only to get a yelp of pain in response.

"Sorry," she apologized.

Kodachi stood over her beloved's unconscious form. There didn't appear to be any life-threatening injuries, just a lot of minor ones. Nonetheless she had already sent for help and he would be treated with the greatest care that the Kunou fortune could buy. She would see to that.

It caused so much pain to see her beloved this way, but it had all been for the best. Now the only question that remained was what Mousse's reaction would be. Would he reject her yet again, or would he at last have come to his senses and accept her for his own? Only time would tell, and she would wait at his side for the answer. Shampoo had been correct. Kodachi was the only one left that would help him. He was now effectively alone.

Exactly like Kodachi had been most of her life.

Nerima hospital:

The eyes opened to light.

Ryu gazed at the unfamiliar ceiling above him. His senses felt...dull. As though something was interfering with them. It took a moment for him to readjust himself. What had happened? Then it all came back in the rushing flood of memory. His life was over, yet he wasn't dead. Why were the fates so unkind?

"You have awakened. Good."

Ryu recognized the voice for its sound, not its tone. Kaori never sounded cold. Not like the way she did now.

"You're here," he managed to croak out. He could tell from where he lay that her eyes were red rimmed, as though she had been crying. Oh how that hurt him. That he had caused her pain. There was relief, despite the pain, however. There could only be one reason why she hadn't abandoned him. She forgave him.

His hopeful look was returned with a cold stare. He was still like an open book to her. "Do not be happy! You have no right to feel any joy Ra...whatever your name is!"

"Ryu," he said painfully. "My real name is Ryu Kumon."

"I don't care what your name is now," she said hollowly.

Ryu's hopeful stare became one of confusion. What was she here for then? "Why? Don't you-?"

She cut him off. "NO! I do not forgive you. If-" She found her voice catching. That wouldn't do at all. "If you had told me at any other time I-" her voice caught again. "I would have forgiven you. Eventually. But you weren't going to tell me. You were never going to let me find out the truth. You would have hidden it beneath further lies to keep your secret."

"I didn't mean to lie to you. It just happened," he tried to explain. "And once I fell in love with you I didn't want you to find out. I was afraid you'd leave me." His voice became more insistent. "I love you!"

The facade she had managed to hold since he awoke at last broke down. "Then I know I made the right choice." Her eyes began to fill with tears.

"Thank kami! I was afraid I lost you."

"You don't understand." She gave a painful little laugh, confusing him further. "You have."

For what might have been the first time in his life, Ryu Kumon began to openly beg. "But...but you said my name didn't matter."

"It doesn't. Your lies do." He just lay there, motionless until she continued, her voice carrying firm resolve. "If you loved me and could still perpetuate a lie like that, I want nothing to do with you."

"I promise, it was the only one and I will never lie to you again." Ryu's desperation was clearly displayed for his spouse, believing this was the one critical moment when he might have a chance to keep from losing her. Her reaction was something he never expected.

She just looked at him pitifully and shook her head. "Our relationship was built on a lie. How could it possibly survive without them? No, Ra...Ryu. It's over."

She rose from her chair and straightened up the martial arts uniform she wore, working the creases out, busying herself. Ryu could do nothing, even if he wanted to. The drugs made him too weak to do anything more than stare at her.

Her voice grew cold again as she gave him a firm gaze. "You misrepresented yourself from the beginning. Our marriage is annulled. I was never your wife. We were never married."

The words hurt more than all the combined blows Ranma had landed. A thousand emotions went through him all at once, yet no words came to him as she continued.

"You, who valued your name so much more than honesty to your spouse, are now nameless to me. You do not exist in my eyes. Never come near me, or dare to darken my shadow. I will not acknowledge your existence." And with that condemnation she turned to leave the room. As she opened the door, she paused one moment to look back at the youth that still lay in his bed, speechless. One last thought occurred to her.

"The Chinese have a saying for occasions such as this." Her voice dropped several decibels as she spoke.

"Bie Liao."

There were no more words to be spoken. Nothing else needed to be said. Kaori Daikoku closed the door, both on Ryu Kumon and a chapter of her life.

Epilogue

Shampoo and Ranma made their way to Tofu's clinic. Neither was bouncing back from the massive injuries they had sustained. Small surprise considering the extent of wounds. If the doctor recommended hospitalization for them, neither would refuse, for a change.

"At least we're not leaving a trail of blood," Ranma commented.

The duo were so fatigued that they failed to notice the figure waiting on a rooftop for them. The hooded cloak it wore prevented anyone from making out the form underneath. Silently it waited until the prey was directly underneath before making its move.

It leaped to the edge of the building and shouted down to its target below. "Shampoo!" It shouted out in a high pitched voice. "Vengeance is mine!" and with that the figure grabbed the flask at its side and jumped off the roof.

"Great!" Ranma growled. "A nutcase that wants you for something. I don't think I can catch her though."

In mid-air the figure poured the water over her head and immediately began to transform. Mass built up at a phenomenal rate as the girl became larger around and took on a circular shape. Tusks grew from her mouth as the now nearly half-ton creature bore directly for the two people beneath it.

"RUN!" Ranma grabbed the shocked Shampoo and barely got her out from underneath the huge creature. It hit a second after they got out of the way, splitting the street with a tremendous impact.

For the first time since pursuing Shampoo, she finally got a good, well lit look at the creature that had been chasing her the last few weeks.

The razorback gave Shampoo a baleful glare. Aside from its incredible mass, there was one other distinguishing feature that marked it as being different from any other razorback on the face of the earth. It bore a long stripe of white and pink hair that ran from the top of its head down its back.

Both Shampoo and Ranma looked on in horror as recognition dawned on them.

"AKARI!"

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Special Thanks to:

Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Shadowmane  
Dr. Wade Tritschler

and H. Torrance Griffin for mentioning something a long time ago that gave me an idea for this chapt


	25. This Little Piggy Wanted Revenge

Prologue

Takao Nakajima strolled across the street, on her way to purchase some groceries. It was a pleasant day, and she had just come from watching the awesome duel between the achingly handsome Chinese guy and that beautiful purple-haired girl. Oh how she wished she could fight like the two of them, especially the girl. If Takao were as tough as her, then someone like that Mousse fellow would try to fight for her hand. And she knew someone like him would not have a hard time of it. There was little doubt who she would fantasize about tonight as she slept.

She had tried to learn martial arts but never got past a green belt. Work took up too much of the young girl's time, and it wasn't easy living on your own in Nerima. So she went to purchase the groceries and thought about what to do on her day off from her exciting job as a bank teller. That was when it happened.

[Here me, Takao Nakajima, last direct descendent of my wielder's line.]

The voice was speaking within her mind. Telepathy!

[There is a great evil blossoming in the world. I can grant you the ability to prevent it. I can give you power beyond your imagination and a chance to make a difference, if you accept my offer. Do you accept this once in a lifetime brush with greatness?]

How could she refuse? It was what she always wanted, a chance to break out of her dreary existence and become a person of importance. Why, she could end up a virtual super hero, like that Sailor Moose person, or whatever her name was.

"YES! I ACCEPT!" she shouted out loud, never mind the fact the voice had spoken to her telepathically.

[YES! You will not regret this. Oh, how long I have waited to taste the blood of one so rich in power. I had thought his kind extinct for over a millennium now. And to find one, the last one, is cause for celebration. Now, I will give you the ability to discover the tomb I have been buried in. It is located in China and, if you concentrate, you will be able to feel the direction I lie in.]

Takao closed her eyes and did indeed feel a tugging in one direction. Everything the voice said was true. She began walking in the direction of the pull, and hadn't been in motion for more than ten seconds when she heard a loud noise.

*HONK*

She opened her eyes to see she had walked out into the middle of a busy street while her eyes had been closed. The car that had beeped its warning struck her full force, hurling her twenty feet.

She would be rendered comatose for over three months. By the time she recovered, it would all be over.

Somewhere deep within a sealed crypt in a mountain in China, The Blood Drinker, one of the mightiest swords created during the height of the time of magic, cried out in despair. After a millennium of inactivity it would miss the opportunity to drink the blood of one of the most powerful beings it had ever encountered. Why did all the Nakajimas have to be blithering idiots? The last one he attempted to contact walked into a pit of hungry tigers while his eyes were closed trying to locate the sword. And the sword was tied to the family exclusively, there was no else to call on.

Why was existence so unfair?

Another Dimension:  
The Empire of the Five Comets:

The Seer felt yet another possibility wither away. Time continued to run out. The opportunities for change where dwindling to almost nothing.

It did not look good at all.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 25

This Little Piggy Wanted Revenge

C+C is greatly appreciated. It is the fuel which helps keep me running.  
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

and you can post C+C to the FFML or contact me at sommer

Standard discalimer: I don't own these characters. They are the properties of their various creators. All Ranma 1/2 characters belong to the Goddess Takahashi.

An alternate universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the beginning, the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing that Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and was accidentily engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. Over the months many allies and enemies were made as all went through many adventutres. Last chapter, Ryu Kumon had impersonated Ranma and the two had a fight over the name. Akane fought Ryu's wife, the former Kaori Daikoku, and Shampoo had one last marriage duel with Mousse. Ranma, Akane and Shampoo on all their fights. Ranma and Shampoo horribly injured but able to walk away from the battle in one piece, victorious. However, a giant razorback had been stalking Shampoo, attacking whenever it got the opportunity. It has recently been revealed to be one angry Akari...

Side notes:  
These mean:

Chinese  
[] Thoughts  
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"RUN FOR IT!"

Shampoo needed no encouragement as the duo fled at top speed to evade the charging Akari-razorback that bore down on them. Their new attacker demolished trash cans, sidewalk cafés, street vendors' wares, and anything else that stood between her and the target of her anger.

"Crazy Pig-Girl take things too, too far!" Shampoo shouted as she spared a glance over her shoulder, estimating that Akari was indeed gaining on them.

Ranma had already come to the same conclusion and tried to increase his own speed, failing miserably. Each of them was too fatigued to run any faster, leap out of the way, or fight back. "Since when did she turn into a pig?"

"Razorback," Shampoo corrected.

"Whatever," Ranma replied, annoyed. "I remember being out in the rain and her not changing."

"You want to stop and ask?"

Ranma spared another glance and saw the bloodshot eyes of the massive beast. Stopping would be an extremely bad idea. "How do we get out of this one?"

"Why is you asking me?" Shampoo growled.

"Because this one's your fault, not mine," Ranma snapped back as Akari-razorback trampled another cart.

Shampoo gave him as much of an angry look as she could muster. "I just trying to help you."

"I had the situation under control," Ranma replied. "You didn't need to do it."

Shampoo snorted at that. Ranma's memory could become awfully selective. "As Shampoo seem to recall, you was complaining about being hungry too. Almost as loud as Pop."

"Oh, so it's all my fault now. Is that it?"

Shampoo shrugged. "You say that. Not me."

"She's gaining," Ranma informed his running companion. "And it is not my fault."

The two turned down an alleyway in the hope it would force Akari to slow down within the close confines of the narrow concrete passages. It failed as the razorback simply bowled over or plowed under everything that stood between her and the object of her quest.

The fleeing martial artists came at last to a dead end. The duo hesitated but a moment as they took off at top speed and leaped as high as they could. Both fell three feet short of clearing the wall, then slid down the height they had traveled, digging into the brick with their fingers in an effort to slow their descent. It was all to no avail. Once they landed each slowly turned around and gazed at their opponent.

"I not think I can fight her any good, Ranma," Shampoo quietly said, anxiety starting to make its presence known.

"I'm beat too," Ranma agreed. He looked Shampoo over once again, concerned. During the flight from the giant boar Shampoo's hair had come undone. Sweat now plastered her purple locks onto her face, heightening the growing frightened look she now possessed. She didn't have any more strength than he did. Akari certainly had picked the best time to attack them. Gosunkugi could have handled each of them with a minimum of effort.

Akari stood at the opening of the alleyway and paused. Neither Ranma nor Shampoo could escape now, and she was too large to allow either of them pass by her unharmed. Cornered prey, that's what they were now. Slowly she stalked forward until she was in leaping distance.

Both martial artists pressed themselves against the wall as Akari closed the distance. No opening presented itself, forcing them to remain motionless.

"This no look good, Ranma." Shampoo silently chided herself for not forcing her great grandmother to teach her the Breaking Point technique. All it would take would be one finger and she could blow up a passageway to freedom.

Ranma could do nothing more than nod his head in agreement. There were no openings he could take advantage of and no attack he could employ to stop a half ton of raging pork. Neither flight nor fight was an option. All that was left was a feeling of impotence.

"Ranma," Shampoo turned to give Ranma a look of helplessness that was mirrored within him. "There been something I been meaning to tell you."

"What?"

It was at that moment that Akari chose to leap directly at Shampoo. Ranma acted on instinct as he threw himself in front of the purple-haired Amazon. No one would ever hurt her if he could prevent it, even if it meant being crushed flat.

He gave in to the urge to shut his eyes as the razorback's leap was now directly at him. Shampoo was shouting something about him getting out of the way as hands were suddenly tugging at his shirt. He stood firm, praying that somehow his body would be enough to shield the Amazon from harm.

The huge porcine body had just reached the height of its arc when a splash of hot water intercepted it in mid-air, triggering the transformation. Akari's body lost its added mass as she quickly reverted to her human form, landing upon Ranma and knocking him off his feet.

Ranma was more than a little surprised that the impact didn't hurt anywhere near as much as it should have, and that the razorback's skin felt much softer than he thought it would. In fact, it felt as though two objects of the pig were pressing themselves against his face. Soft pliable things. At last he opened his eyes and placed his hands on what was smothering his head, pushing them off. It was a surprise at how soft they were and how light the razorback felt until he realized Akari was in human form.

And naked.

And what the soft things were that had smothered his face

And what he had placed his hands on, in order to remove said soft things from his face.

The shock was so great that he reflexively squeezed his hands slightly, giving everyone an idea of just how responsive Akari was to stimulation as she gave off a soft moan.

"RANMA!" Akane, the one who had thrown the hot water and saved the day, began glowing brightly.

"HOW..." Shampoo picked herself up from under Ranma and stood over him as Akane came to her side. The Amazon began glowing as brightly as Akane.

"...DARE..." Akane picked up where Shampoo left off.

"...YOU..." Shampoo said as the two began switching back and forth.

"...GROPE..."

"...HER..."

"...CHEST..."

"...LIKE..."

"...THAT!"

The two of them dominated his vision as they continued glowing like bright stars in anger.

"I'm not groping her." As the words left Ranma's mouth he realized that his hands had remained right where they were at the start of the diatribe. Quickly he removed the hands as Akari stood up on her own and covered herself as best she could.

"Fondling her then!" Akane growled.

"I wasn't fondlin' her either."

"Then what you call putting hands on girl's breasts and squeezing?" Shampoo accused, still glowing every bit as brightly as Akane.

"I call it groping," Ranma answered seriously, then understood the way it sounded. "But that wasn't what I was doing. I was..." He stopped and came to the conclusion that he was doing it, but wasn't doing it in the way they meant. "Okay. Look. I did it, but I didn't enjoy it. "

Two auras doubled in intensity as Ranma continued digging his grave.

"I mean I didn't do it to enjoy it! I just did it to get her off!"

"YOU DID IT TO GET HER OFF?!" Akane raged.

"Off of me! Get her off of me! That's what I meant to say! Not get her off of anything other than me!" He then added. "I didn't even notice how soft they were or anything!"

Ranma became cognizant of the fact that the grave became deeper still. As weakened as he was, he really might not survive a pummeling at the girls' fists. No way of defusing the situation came to mind other than the final excuse.

"It's not my fault!" That never worked.

Akane was about to launch an attack when she felt the aura next to her fade. She turned to see Shampoo had left her side and moved hurriedly down the alleyway. It took only a moment to see why the Amazon had left. Akari was trying to make a quiet getaway while the duo confronted Ranma. The pig farmer's flight for freedom was prevented when Akari felt herself lifted up by the scruff of her neck by one angry Amazon.

"Where you think you going, Pig-Girl?"

"Umm," Akari laughed nervously. "I was thirsty and wanted a drink of water."

Shampoo shook her head and tossed Akari into a nearby pile of trash. The Amazon reached down into another pile at her feet and threw an old blanket towards the pig farmer up to cover up. Akari understood as she cowed before Shampoo and did as she was supposed to.

Akane's aura had disappeared as the moment of crisis passed and she focused on the real threat. "Now what's this all about? Why is this girl trying to attack you? Exactly what did you do this time?" All the questions were directed at the source of all of her perceived problems: Ranma.

"Hey!" he defended. "It really ain't my fault." He caught the glare Shampoo gave him at that. "Mostly."

"He's right!" Akari shouted out from her sitting position on the ground, pointing accusingly at the purple-haired Amazon. "It's all this evil girl's fault." The glare she received from Shampoo caused her to quiet down in fear once again.

"So what did you do, Shampoo?" Akane stared flatly at the Amazon.

Shampoo returned the look and briefly considered getting in a staring contest with the girl. Reason won out over pride as there were more important things to do, like explain what was going on.

"It all a big misunderstanding," she said. "But Ranma can explain better." She turned towards him.

Ranma looked a little startled at the suddenness of the suggestion, but went along with it. "Well, it all started when me, Shampoo, and Pop first arrived in Nerima. We came in from the boat all right, but we were all hungry. Pop claimed he knew this great place to eat, never mind the fact we didn't have no money."

"I think Pop was going to have us wash dishes to pay, just like in Chahaung," Shampoo added.

"You're probably right," Ranma agreed. "Anyway, Navigator Pop says he knows a short cut to get there. So we followed him, like the unsuspecting clods we are."

"Pop pull a Ryouga on us," Shampoo explained.

"Yeah. You'd think the fact that we were in a wooded area instead of a city would'a tipped him off, but no, he won't admit he's lost. So we get hungrier and hungrier until we come to this little town in the middle of nowhere and he finally asks directions. Not only does he find out we ain't in Nerima anymore, but apparently some kind of giant animal has been beating up all the men in the town. Well, Pop goes into a speech about how it's the responsibility of a martial artist to protect the weak."

Shampoo interrupted again. "Pop find out there a reward."

"Yep," Ranma agreed. "And he volunteers me and Shampoo's services to help the village."

"But I make sure Pop come along," Shampoo added. "He make a good shield if worse come to worse."

"So we set off to find this animal, talking about food the entire time. Shampoo was going on and on about how she knows all these great pork dishes, getting us all hungry." Ranma paused to catch his breath, then continued. "Eventually, I get jumped by this giant pig. Well, to make a short fight into a shorter story, I beat him easy. Just as he goes down this girl comes runnin' out of some bushes and starts shouting something about marriages. Unfortunately, just as she was coming towards us, Shampoo was already in motion and got to the pig first."

"You mean..." Akane began.

"I turn him into bacon bits with sword." Shampoo made a slashing motion with her arm.

"WAAAAHHH!" Akari began crying as she heard the retelling of the story. "You killed Katsunishiki!"

Shampoo just scowled at the crying girl and continued. "It no my fault. Besides, who think anyone be stupid enough to let her pet pig attack people. I think it a wild animal, so anyone can have."

"Anyway," Ranma continued, lest he lose track of the story. "Akari runs over and grabs the pig, crying all the time. We manage to get out of her that it was her pet and not a wild animal. We apologized, even though some people tried insisting that we should eat the pig." That comment was directed at Shampoo.

"Me and Pop was hungry." Shampoo shrugged. "And it attack you."

Ranma just sighed. "It starts raining and she sees us transform. Naturally she stares at us for a few moments, then runs away. Once we get to the town we tell them what happened and find out the girl's name is Akari Unryuu and she's a pig farmer. I told them to give the reward money to her, over Pop's protests, and we headed back to Nerima and eventually met you."

"Where'd she get the curse?" Akane asked.

"I don't know." Ranma just gave her a bewildered glance. "She didn't change when she got wet back then. She must've picked up the curse afterward."

"So, all this is over your pet pig getting killed?" Akane asked the now standing Akari.

Akari dried up her sniffles and shook her head. "No. Because of Shampoo I can't get married."

Akane's eyes widened as she turned to Shampoo. "What did you do to this girl that she can't get married? You didn't turn into a guy and defile her or something, did you?"

"WHAT?!" Shampoo shook in anger. "I no do that sort of thing! All that happened was just like Ranma say! I no do anything with her! She just crazy!"

"I am not crazy!" Akari protested. "It has to do with the promise I made to my dying grandfather. He made me swear that I would only marry someone strong enough to defeat our prize sumo pig, Katsunishiki. And that was exactly what Ranma did."

"RANMA!" Now Akane turned in rage at her fiancé. "How dare you try to get more fiancees! Isn't one enough for you?!"

"Hey!" he held up his hands defensively. "This is all news to me."

"I just bet it is," she replied acidly.

"I was so excited," Akari continued, losing herself in a fantasy of a considerably better looking Ranma who was dressed like a prince. "He was so powerful and handsome. And when I looked into his eyes I just knew there was a kind hearted soul in there."

Akane looked incredulously at Ranma, trying to come to terms with that description and the youth before her. Her imagination couldn't make the connection.

"And then she killed him." Akari's fantasy ended as she pointed accusingly at Shampoo once again. "I still miss my poor Katsunishiki."

She began sobbing once more. It took her a few moments to collect herself before she could continue. "I saw the transformation take place then. I had no idea what to make of that. It was all too much. So I ran off to my uncle's house and informed him about what happened. He told me that since Katsunshki was defeated, I had to marry the boy that beat him. But since my pig was killed BEFORE I married Ranma, it was a bad omen that meant that I could never marry anyone. My family line is going to die out thanks to that mean, purple-haired girl."

"What about your uncle?" Ranma asked.

"There was an accident when he was younger. He can't have children. And outside of him, I have no direct family."

"Congratulations, Shampoo." Akane slapped her on the back. "Someone finally came up with something more stupid than those Amazon laws about having to marry someone that defeats you."

Shampoo did her best to keep her rapidly growing anger in check. Who was Akane to criticize her laws when Japanese ones were clearly more foolish?

Akari continued with her story. "He said that, for the family honor, I should go out and avenge myself on her. Since the only thing I know is pig sumo fighting, and I wasn't a giant pig, I couldn't do anything. But my uncle came up with an idea. It turns out he traveled to China once for a pig competition with his prize sumo razorback. It fell into a pool and drowned though. I guess some kind of guide told him that the pool was now cursed and anyone who jumped into it would become a sumo razorback also. Of course my uncle didn't believe him at the time, but when I told him what happened to the two of you we figured out the curses must be legitimate.

"I went to the village and discovered what your names were and where you wanted to go. I then packed my bags, went to Jusenkyou and jumped into the pool. I came back to Nerima and here I am, ready to take my vengeance."

Ranma stared at her in disbelief. "You mean you voluntarily jumped into a cursed spring so you could turn into a pig?"

Akari nodded her head.

"What are you, crazy?!" Ranma yelled.

"Please don't shout at me," Akari pleaded. "I hate it when people shout."

"You try to kill me, stupid Pig Girl!" Shampoo roared in outrage. "You think I happy about that?!"

Akari shook her head vigorously. "Oh no! I don't want to kill you, just avenge the family honor. I would never murder you, just stomp on you for a little while."

Shampoo shook her own head in disbelief at the smiling girl. "Oh, that make me feel much better."

She turned to Ranma and started discussing what to do about the avenging pig farmer. After a short discussion they came to a decision. "Mousse Disposal Plan Number Four," they said simultaneously.

"D...disposal? You mean you're going to kill me?" And with that Akari's eyes rolled into the back of her head as she passed out in a heap.

"Well, that went a lot easier than I thought," Ranma stated.

Shampoo shook her head as she looked at the prone form. "Is it just me, or does she seem in over her head?"

"What's Mousse Disposal Plan Number Four?" Akane asked, not having been part of the discussion.

"Lock the attacker in a box and send them far away for a real long time," Ranma informed her. "Just look at how long it took Panda-boy and the psycho to get back."

"Just make sure it a watertight container," Shampoo reminded Ranma.

The two left and quickly returned to the scene bearing a watertight packing crate with an air hole in it.

"How can it be watertight if it has a hole in it?" Akane asked.

"It ain't like we can let her suffocate," Ranma explained.

Akane shook her head. "But if it has a hole in it, it won't be watertight."

"No ask pointless questions! This way we always do it," Shampoo reprimanded.

Akane ignored the protests and quickly hammered a small cover directly over the hole in the side. It would let air in but keep most of the water out. If it was submerged that would be a different story, but with any luck it would hold up until Akari arrived at her destination: Siberia.

The trio sent the crate to be shipped and started heading home. Akane quickly shot ahead of the others and scowled at Ranma.

"What's wrong?" Ranma asked as the girl pulled further ahead.

"As if you didn't know!" she snapped. "You leave me behind after the fight, never even thanked me for the hot water, and you tried to get engaged to Akari!"

"And all that stuff's my fault?" he asked in disbelief.

"YES!" And with that she walked off.

"Well can you believe that? How can anyone that uncute be so stuck up about..." Ranma trailed off as he caught Shampoo scowling at him. "What did I do now?!"

She placed her hands on her hips and harumphed. "It look to me like you enjoy having Stupid Pig Girl smother you with her chest." And with that she turned and left.

"I did not!" He shouted at her departing form and shook his fist. For the briefest of moments he considered following her, then stopped. It had been a long day and he lacked the energy to deal with irritating fiancees and irrational Amazons. The checkup at Toafu's was forgotten. It was time to go to Ukyou's. She was always reliable and would always listen to what he had to say. She acted like a normal human being, and he could get free food too. Sometimes it seemed true friends were hard to find. Come to think of it, she still had the Ryouga problem which he'd have to do something about soon. Once he recovered from the fight.

The next day found Mr. Daikoku outside the Tendo Dojo, bidding everyone farewell.

"In light of the circumstances, Kaori doesn't feel up to marrying anyone named 'Ranma,' the man explained.

"No problem. If you want to call it off that's fine with me," Genma replied with one of the largest grins he even had. How things had worked out so perfectly was beyond him.

"Thanks for understanding." Daikoku bowed for the third time before his old acquaintance. "I will be traveling onward, but Kaori has decided she needs some time alone to herself. She'll be staying in Nerima, so I gave her something to keep her busy. I would appreciate it if you would drop in on her from time to time and let me know how she's doing."

"Sure. More than happy to be of service." Genma bowed. "Where is she staying?"

"Who the hell put up a crappy take-out shop across from my place?!" Ukyou began glowing dull blue in anger at the sudden competition. It was one of the Daikoku chains, and she had little doubt who would be running the store. This was the last thing she needed. Now there was no doubt Shampoo had to stick around and keep customers coming to her store, and away from the enemy.

Ukyou sighed as she returned inside and began preparing the grill for the afternoon opening. It wasn't long when a peppy little creature burst through the door and made its presence known.

"I don't know where Ryouga is, Kyoko," Ukyou growled at the effervescence personified as she entered the establishment.

"I don't want to see him, now anyway," Kyoko explained. "I want to talk to you."

Oh, this was going to be good. Another request to date Ai. "What?"

"I want to work for you."

Ukyou nearly facefaulted in shock. Was the little annoyance as spaced out as Ukyou believed? She would rather hire Crepe Suzette than employ the cheerleader. "Why?" was all she managed to get out.

"I want to work alongside my true love. It seems the time we spend apart makes me too unhappy to do anything other than suffer." She gave a dramatic pose. "So, do you have any jobs that I can do?"

Ukyou had a brief fantasy of hiring the girl as a human mop and cleaning the floor with her. But that was absurd. Kyoko's head was too large to get into the corners. Maybe the cheerleader had a future as a plunger...

Ukyou shook her head as she disposed of the delightful little fantasy. "I'd rather pull my teeth out one by one with a pair of pliers."

Kyoko looked on, curiously. "Is that a 'yes'?"

"No. It isn't. I have enough employees as is. Can't afford to hire more. Sorry." Ukyou gave a wide smile.

Kyoko appeared crestfallen as she silently left the restaurant. It took everything Ukyou had to keep from delightfully telling her not to let the doorknob hit her ass on the way out. At last! The chef had gotten some small measure of revenge.

Ryouga came in shortly after Kyoko's departure. "I just talked to Kyoko. Are you sure you can't hire anyone else?"

"NO!" Ukyou snarled. "Unless you want to give up your job?"

Ryouga gained a panicked expression. "No way! I love working and living here. I don't want to leave."

Ukyou softened a bit. Hearing Ryouga say that so enthusiastically was...heartwarming. "You can stay here as long as you like. Of course."

"Thanks." His demeanor changed from happiness to one of reservation. "We haven't talked much lately. I wanted to know if Ran-" His inquiry was cut off by a foot landing in his head. The figure then used it as a springboard to vault onto its favorite target.

"My love!" Ai shouted.

Ukyou reflexively caught the cheerleader and nearly fell over with the added weight. "Ai! Knock it off!" She let the girl down as Ai backed off upon regaining her base.

"I have a present for you," Ai cooed softly, then held out a rabbit in a cage.

"That's so cute." Ukyou started to handle the cage, then stopped as she thought about the situation. "I can't accept this, Ai." She tried handing back the gift.

"But why?" Ai gave Ukyou the best wounded puppy expression she could muster while refusing to take back the cage.

"I can't accept gifts from you," Ukyou started to explain. "It's wrong. You're under the influence of-"

Ukyou was cut off as a potted plant suddenly shouted out "RABBIT! AHHHHHH!" then ran off at top speed.

It took a moment for Ukyou to realize exactly why Tsubasa had fled in horror. The 'Dreaded Rabbits of Xeczis' incident must have traumatized Tsubasa like the cat fist training had to Ranma. A decision was made almost immediately.

"The rabbit stays."

Ai was about to show her appreciation when a spatula prevented the attempted glomp. "What's wrong?"

"Don't do that, Ai," Ukyou said in a tired voice.

Tears began to form in Ai's eyes. "I think I know what's wrong."

"I'm not into girls," Ukyou said.

"It's because I'm a year older, isn't it?"

"No. That has nothing to do with it. I'm not into girls."

"You don't like cheerleaders?"

"No. I don't date girls!"

"Are my breasts too big?"

"No! I don't give a damn how big your chest is! I told you, I don't like girls that way!"

"Is it because I'm not open enough with my emotions?"

Ukyou facefaulted.

"That's it, isn't it?!" Ai began bawling.

Ukyou picked herself up and placed her hands on Ai's shoulders. "NO! IT...IS... BECAUSE...I...DON'T...LIKE ...GIRLS!"

"I see." Ai composed herself. "I'm going to have to get a sex change operation."

"No! Damn it!" Ukyou finally snapped and began shaking the girl. "I won't go out with you even if you do that! So don't get any bright ideas!" Besides, thanks to Jusenkyou, there were easier ways to do that sort of thing.

Having exhausted everything else, Ai tried asking a simple question. "What can I do to win your heart?"

Ukyou just shook her head. She at last had run out of things to say.

"I think you should just lay off for today, Ai." Ryouga finally spoke up. "Maybe Ukyou will feel better tomorrow. Besides, she has to get ready for the afternoon rush crowd."

Ai nodded sadly and dragged herself out. It was only a moment later when Kyoko rushed through the door and jumped onto Ryouga, her momentum spinning the duo in a circle.

"You'll never guess what happened to me!"

"They discovered there really is nothing but dead space between those ears?" Ukyou mumbled under her breath.

"What?" Ryouga asked.

"I got a job across the street. Now I can see you every day as the two of us go to work."

Ukyou cursed as Ryouga congratulated Kyoko. Some days it wasn't worth getting out of bed. Having nothing better to do, she elected to do something constructive, like choose the rabbit's name. Eventually "Tsubasa's Bane" was settled upon. At least one good thing had come out of the day.

Mousse shielded his eyes as they opened for the first time in two days. The room was too bright. He was about to get out of the bed he was in when the lights dimmed on their own. His eyes tried focusing on where he was, but to no avail. There were no glasses, either upon his head or in the hospital gown he now wore.

"Here."

Mousse recognized Kodachi's voice immediately as his glasses were delicately placed back on the bridge of his nose for him. There was a huge bandage now across his face, helping with healing the broken nose. Focusing, as well as he could, he scanned the room. It was unfamiliar. Neither a hospital nor the Black Rose's Floral Shoppe.

"You are at Kunou Manor," Kodachi explained, as though reading his mind. "I had you brought here when the doctors gave me permission to move you. You have been asleep for well over twenty four hours. Is there anything you need?"

Mousse shook his head, allowing the full knowledge of what had happened to fill him. He had lost to Shampoo. For the final time. When she needed him most, he had failed her. Perhaps he truly didn't deserve her love. After all, a real man would have been able to save her from herself, no matter the cost.

"There is nothing you can do for me," he said softly.

He heard Kodachi exhale ever so softly as she said, "I shall be outside if you need anything," then backed to the door and closed it behind her as she left the room. At least she hadn't tried to attach herself to him, or go on and on about how he was now hers and how much better off he was without Shampoo. At least she spared him that particular humiliation. After all, he was going to a much better job of torturing himself over the previous days events for quite some time to come.

He dozed in and out of sleep a dozen times over the next ten hours, his body desperately trying to heal itself as fast as it could over the injuries. They were easily the worst he had ever suffered and it seemed to be taking forever for the pain to go away. The physical pain anyway. The emotional one was going to be there for a long time. Now his options were limited. He would not go home, not in disgrace and failure. Others would interrogate him about Shampoo's whereabouts and something might slip. He still could not, would not, hurt her.

Until she came to her senses, marriage was out. He would live up to his word and not challenge her anymore. That did not mean there was nothing he could do. He could still help protect Shampoo, and he could still hurt Ranma. Later, after Mousse recovered from the injuries he had received. And if he could find Shampoo a cure, then he would give it to her and she would run off with him and they could live happily ever...

[I sooner die than become you wife. And I sooner kill you than die.]

Maybe not. Why did her words have to hurt so? She said things like that hundreds of times to him. No. That wasn't exactly true. They had never been said with that kind of...conviction.

Or perhaps they had always sounded like that and he had just not listened.

No. She had to be saved from herself, but it was doubtful the two of them could ever be together. Still, she hadn't wanted him dead, or he would be. Maybe there was hope.

[That was pathetic. Just what I expect from you!]

Did she really see him as pathetic? He wasn't. He did everything for her. That was what love was all about. She was even more blind than him to not understand that. It took courage to do what he had done for her. Even yesterday was a perfect example. He didn't want to do it, but it had to be done.

And he failed, just like a pathetic man would.

He never had feelings like this concerning Shampoo. What was happening to him? The drugs the doctors gave him? Did Kodachi add some of her own? No. Hers would have a more potent effect, and she hadn't done that to him since their 'vacation'.

[You did not do something so simple as make love to me. You ravaged me, body and soul.]

Occasionally he would think about that night. It was simply a moment of crisis while he was under the influence of drugs. And he had gained valuable experience in how to pleasure Shampoo. At least that was what he had told himself. He believed it.

Mostly.

Such thoughts just served to increase his stress. No immediate action was going to be taken, so he could wait and think about planning for the future at some other time. He got up and headed out the door for some well needed fresh air. Moving around a bit would help him get an idea of just how badly wounded he still was.

Upon emerging into the hall he immediately saw Kodachi sitting next to the door in a large padded chair, asleep. Mousse began to scratch his head in confusion until he remembered her words. He had assumed she meant he could call upon her for anything, not that she intended to literally remain outside the door for him. Ten hours straight she had remained there. No matter how cushy the chair appeared, she had to be uncomfortable. He shook his head sadly and picked her sleeping form up, just like when he had knocked her out with the bouquet several weeks ago, and carried her to the bed inside. How many times would that scene be repeated if he remained with her?

"Mousse-sama," she mumbled under her breath.

He shook his head sadly. It didn't matter that he had lost to Shampoo. The purple-haired Amazon remained in his heart still. It would be better for Kodachi if he simply departed. Yet some part of him wanted to stay. It wasn't so bad at the Black Rose's side. And at least here someone wanted him, even if he couldn't return her affections. If she could be content with his friendship, then perhaps things would work out. You could never have too many friends. Even ones like Kodachi Kunou. He would be certain to give her the sort of friendship that he had lacked in his own childhood. She deserved a real friend.

Nabiki read the paper again as she took her time in going to the park. She had finally heard from Kensuki for the first time in almost two weeks. His note had been left in her mailbox earlier in the day. It was the usual drop off point for her favorite spy, so nothing seemed amiss. The message itself contained a brief note saying he had important information about Tarou and that it would be necessary to meet Nabiki in the park. At night. Alone. There was nothing terribly unusual about that either. No one knew of their affiliation and each wanted to keep it that way.

Then she received a second letter from one of the newer people in her 'organization.' There was something about the new transfer student, Ryonami, that Nabiki liked. A rare combination of intelligence, good judgment, loyalty, and a lack of desire to do anything other than follow orders and not be number one. The girl understood what she was (mostly) and realized that it did not entail being in charge. Besides, she had a nice personality too.

Which was why Nabiki noticed the odd tone the letter had immediately.

"Someone's been asking a lot of questions about you."

That was all. Straight and to the point, just the way Nabiki liked it. Of course it was also ambiguous and had offered no evidence to back up the claim. Besides, if someone were asking around about her then she would have received confirmation from another source.

Unless whoever were doing it was that good. But no one at school, or in Nerima, fit that description. No one that she knew of anyway. So it was with some caution that she went to the park, a part of her expecting a trap. It took only a matter of minutes upon arriving at the appointed rendezvous that she became apprehensive. Something felt wrong.

"Hi there!"

Nabiki turned in surprise to see the source of the greeting. Pantyhose Tarou stood before, her, smiling for all he was worth.

"Hello," she replied calmly. So he had outmaneuvered both Kensuki and her. That made him far more dangerous than the usual grade of obsessive/deluded/dense martial artist that hung around Nerima. And what made it worse was that Nabiki had a feeling he was different from the beginning. It was her clumsiness that had made her underestimate him, and now that might end up costing her something. The fact that it was an unknown something made her feel even more uneasy.

Tarou walked around her like a predator stalking its prey. "I found out about that little tail you put on me. I'm afraid I had to activate his dental plan."

Nabiki shrugged in response. Not bothering to look at him, but rather, listened to the sound of his voice. More could be learned from that than any visual inspection.

Tarou was disappointed in the lack of reaction from the middle Tendo. "I would have gotten to you sooner, but I got tied up. The fights don't you know?"

"No. I didn't," Nabiki answered honestly.

Tarou gave his little giggle. "Yes. Well, I now return my attention to you. What am I to do with you, Nabiki? I can't have you dogging my trail, trying to dig up information I don't feel like sharing with the public at large, and that is your style, don't try to deny it. Your lackeys were very informative."

Nabiki controlled her temper. No cracks could appear in her icy demeanor lest she tip off Tarou to the fact that he hit a soft spot. They were friends, not lackeys. She cared about them, even if she didn't show it often.

Of course Tarou was giving her information by displaying his perception of the world. He wasn't perfect either. No. Nabiki made her living reading people, and while Tarou seemed perceptive, he also appeared painfully naïve about some things.

"Trying to be the strong, silent type? That's a switch, not that I haven't seen it before." Tarou said as he stopped in front of Nabiki and allowed her to look deep into his eyes. She appeared only slightly flustered, which irritated him to no end. She was no martial artist and couldn't defend herself from any attack he could make. But there was no fear openly displayed, like on that spy she used to track him.

"Well, let's skip all these pleasantries and get to the point." Tarou settled down. Overt fear was not what he was going for tonight. Just a little intimidation. "I want you to supply me with inside information on the Fem-Boy."

Nabiki figured that unless he offered something valuable, like leaving Akane alone, that was going to be out of the question.

He saw the answer in her eyes and started to supply the threats. "Akane won't like the idea of you spying on me. Not one little bit. You won't score any points there, and I have a feeling she'll believe me over you. She's more than aware of how you get others to do your bidding. And I also know your information network now. You rule them through a reward system with the threat of punishment hanging over some of their heads. Right now, they fear me way more than they ever did you. I saw to that personally. Now, unless you like the idea of losing every one of your people, or worse, have your own system used against you, you'll do what I ask.

"Besides," he added with a smirk. "You'd be surprised just how many of them needed very little persuasion to turn on you. And, of course, there's always me." He cracked his knuckles for emphasis. "Be see ya', Nab-chan. Make sure you have something for me next time we meet." He gave a laugh as he walked off into the darkness, leaving Nabiki alone in the night.

That had gone horribly bad. Now she was going to have to find some way to have Tarou's fangs pulled. Trying to boss her around was a big mistake. Only her family got away with telling her what to do, and only if they were right. She was going to have to tread carefully with him as well. Of all the people that seemed hell-bent on ruining Ranma's life, Tarou was the smartest, and consequently most dangerous. And there was his attempted relationship with her sister. Akane could not be allowed to fall for something like that slime. Oh no. Something was going to have to be done about Pantyhose, and soon.

No one threatened Nabiki Tendo and got away with it. No one.

The next day:

Akane was surprised at Ranma's insistence that the two of them and Shampoo go out for ice cream, his treat. He settled upon one of the local parlors that he usually insisted on dining at as a girl. Couldn't eat parfaits as a boy, now could he? At least that was the way it had always been in the past. Today was different. He was very male when scarfing down the strawberry double ripple blueberry special.

Akane took the time to examine him and Shampoo more closely. Already the wounds incurred from the previous day's fight were starting to heal, though she estimated it would take at least three more days before all outward signs of his injuries were to disappear. As to the ones inside, the ones he claimed never to have until she jabbed him in the particular spot, those would take longer.

Shampoo, on the other hand, seemed to be healing more slowly. Her arm was still heavily bandaged and her eye remained swollen shut. There was some faint feeling of satisfaction that the beautiful Amazon was not looking so pretty at the moment. Not that Akane was jealous or anything like that.

"What's the big occasion?" Akane finally asked. She had been hoping Ranma would inform her as to why they were being treated so, well, so nicely. A gentleman her fiancé was not.

"How often do we get a chance to bask in the glory of victory? It was a three way win for us all." Ranma took a long break from inhaling his ice cream. "You beat that take-out girl. Shampoo got rid of Mousse." Ranma and the Amazon exchanged smiles at that particular fact. "And I get to keep my name. And, outside of Akari yesterday, no one has threatened to beat us up."

All three knocked on the wooden tabletop.

"It feels good to be alive." And with that Ranma resumed eating like there was no tomorrow.

Oh well. It was nice if Ranma to want to treat them to a celebration. "What's with the shirt?" Akane had to admit, Ranma's current purple and gold dragon shirt was the nicest attire he had. So tasteful, in fact, she would have assumed a woman had picked it out for him.

"I make it for him." Shampoo said as she gave Akane a large smile. "After all, Ranma is such a nice guy, and I know how to show appreciation for him." She turned to Ranma and gave him a saccharine sweet grin, which he returned, showing off a series of red and blue teeth.

Akane observed the exchange and turned her own face towards the ice cream, scowling at it. So Shampoo had made Ranma a shirt. Well so what? Big deal! She could sew too. It would be a small matter for her to make Ranma an even better shirt than the one the Amazon had sewn.

Akane made some excuse about having to do some schoolwork that she had forgotten about and departed. There was just enough time to go to a fabric store and get the materials she needed to make a shirt Ranma would never forget.

It only took two days for Akane to complete her surprise to Ranma. She went down to the living room where he sat, watching television. Plopping herself in between his line of sight and the television, she gave him a satisfied grin.

"What?" he asked, expecting the worst.

"Here you go! I made it myself," she declared and presented the garment before him.

Ranma took it from her grasp and examined it. If he wasn't mistaken, it was some kind if fabric. Not knowing what else to say, he simply thanked her.

"Aren't you going to try it on?" Akane looked on, hopeful.

So it was clothing. Ranma shook his head. "Nah! I'll try it on later. I wanna' finish watching TV"

Akane was a little disappointed. She had been hoping for a greater sign of appreciation, but at least he hadn't insulted it or used it as a Kleenex. Regrettably there wasn't any time to pester him about trying it on to see if it fit since she had to meet Chisa and Sayuri in a short while to do some shopping for herself. A girls' night out as it were.

Ranma continued watching the program until its end, then got up to practice. He was more than halfway to the dojo when he remembered to try on Akane's shirt. Unfolding the garment, he was about to try it on when he discovered one little problem.

"Well now how do you like that?" Ranma asked himself out loud. "How does she expect me to wear a windsock?"

Kasumi held the invitation in her hand as she reread the words. It was from one of her few friends from back in high school, Miki Matsudara, a girl who had graduated one year ahead of Kasumi. Shortly after the graduation Kasumi had received a couple of letters from the graduate about a new job Miki had taken in the entertainment industry, and hadn't heard from her since.

It was nice of her old friend to drop a line, although there was one little problem with the invitation. It was apparently the second one that had been sent. In it, Miki emphasized the need to know if Kasumi was coming or not since the wedding was only two days away. That was more than a little inconvenient since there wasn't going to be much time to prepare for the trip. Miki lived a good distance away and it appeared a train ride would be called for. And there was one other detail too.

Kasumi folded the invitation up, then went to Shampoo's room and knocked on the door. The purple-haired Amazon answered immediately and gave a broad smile when she saw who the visitor was. "What going on, Kasumi?"

"I just received an invitation to a wedding. I wanted to know if you'd like to come along."

"Aiya!" Shampoo gave a jump for joy. "Sure thing. I'd love to go to a wedding with you. I going to have to pick out a nice dress. Maybe get a new one."

Kasumi nervously cleared her throat as Shampoo went on about the plans she would have to make. "Actually, I wanted to know if you could go as a...well, as a man."

Shampoo arched her eyebrow at that. "How come?"

"Well. It's sort of a tradition for a man to accompany a woman to these sorts of things. And I'd rather go with you than anyone else." She started nervously fidgeting with her dress. "If you don't want to go, I'll unders-"

"Sure." Shampoo shrugged nonchalantly. "Is no problem. I don't mind going as a boy."

Kasumi felt her heart soar a little at that. "Wonderful. Do you have a suit?"

Shampoo shook her head. She wasn't Ukyou and, regardless of the curse, did not have a preference for wearing men's clothes.

"Well, I'll have to help you pick one out. I know a shop that we can go to where they have some of the nicest formal wear around." The two began to make preparations for their trip out of town and what they would need for the wedding.

"WAHHH! MY LITTLE GIRL IS LEAVING US!"

"It's just a short trip, Father. We'll be back late tonight," Kasumi reassured him as she made certain to avoid the wetworks Soun was pouring out everywhere, lest he ruin her dress. All the others also gave him a wide berth, save Nabiki, who had seen the whole tearful farewell coming and took the precaution of bringing an umbrella.

Soun dried up his tears as he grabbed Shampoo-kun firmly by the shoulders. "Take care of my little girl, son. I leave her in your care."

"No call me 'son'," Shampoo-kun warned.

"You two have a nice date," Nabiki added.

"It not a date, Stupid Extortionist Girl!" Shampoo-kun growled menacingly at the middle Tendo.

Ranma took Soun's place next to Shampoo-kun as he gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Y'know, I'm impressed. You look almost as good as I would in that suit."

"Oh no!" Kasumi said. "He looks much better than you ever would in it."

Ranma turned to examine the girl before him. From anyone else he would have been deeply insulted, but there wasn't a bit of malice in Kasumi's eyes. She had just been giving a simple opinion, even if it wasn't true.

Shampoo-kun smiled in amusement as he looked down to admire himself once again. It was a fine suit he and Kasumi had picked out at the clothing store. He did cut a rather fine figure in it, if he would say so himself.

The duo departed for the train station, leaving everyone else standing outside for a few moments before returning indoors.

Genma figured out the first problem with both Kasumi and Shampoo being absent. "Who's going to cook dinner for us?"

"No problem." Akane said with a cheery demeanor. "I'll just whip something up."

This time it was Nabiki who protested. "No need to, Sis. Kasumi took that into account and made us some food to be heated up later."

"But wouldn't you rather have something fresh?" Akane offered.

"And have my stomach pumped too?" Ranma answered. "Thanks but no thanks. I'll take my chances with what Kasumi made."

Akane followed Ranma around, trying to get at least him to accept her cooking in favor of Kasumi's ready to eat food.

Several hours later Ranma walked on top of a fence as he had at last eluded Akane's latest cooking 'masterpiece.' It was typical of her to ignore the over three hundred protests that he had made and went on ahead to cook something anyway. Emphasis on something. At least she didn't batter him into unconsciousness and try to force feed him any of the toxic substance. With any luck, she would resort to using his father as a guinea pig and come back to a near dead old man. It would serve him right for how much he had screwed up Ranma's life.

As Ranma pondered life's little mysteries, like why everything bad happened to him, he found more evidence to further add to the enigma.

"Fancy meeting you here, Bloodsucker," Ranma called out to the wandering Ryouga Hibiki.

"What do you want, Ranma?" Ryouga asked, his voice filled with the normal amount of anger towards the youth who had made his 'life a living hell.'

Ranma leaped off the fence and crossed his arms in front of himself, giving the appearance of great annoyance. "I've been meaning to tell you something for a long time now. I want you to date Ucchan." That would solve all of his friend's problems. She would go out with Ryouga, realize what a clueless putz he was, and live happily ever after away from the lost one.

Ryouga's only response was to begin look down at the ground. It was unusual for him to remain silent rather than launch into one of his tirades. It took Ranma a moment to realize why Ryouga had remained silent for so long.

"You..." A black pillar formed around Ryouga. "You total asshole! Are you so determined to ruin my life that you dare to do this?!"

"Do what?" Ranma was horribly confused. He was trying to help a friend. And not Ryouga.

Depression consumed his thoughts as he realized what damage Ranma must have done. "My life is perfectly fine and you know it! So now you come along and try to ruin it by using a girl you dare to call a friend against me! I will not tolerate this any more!" The column doubled in size. "For what you are trying to do to Uk-Chan, PREPARE...TO ...DIE!" And with that he launched a Perfect Shi Shi Houkoudan straight at Ranma.

The resulting explosion was heard over the entire district of Nerima.

Akane looked outside her window towards the direction of the sound. Ranma was causing problems again, no doubt. It would serve him right to get beaten up for refusing to eat her cooking.

The battle raged on for almost a half hour. A long time even for a fight between two such forces. Fortunately for Ranma, he had seen the attack coming and avoided the majority of the blast. But even only receiving a glancing blow from a perfect Shi Shi Houkoudan was more than enough to really hurt. And that, combined with his only recently recovered injuries, made the fight difficult for Ranma. He spent most of the time backing up with Ryouga giving pursuit, which resulted in very little actual physical damage done to the environment.

"Stand still!" Ryouga shouted as Ranma dodged a flying bandanna. The seventy fifth one he threw.

"It's not my fault you're as slow as you are dumb!" Ranma taunted back.

"Only cowards run from a fight!"

Ranma stopped. Ryouga finally said the one thing certain to get Ranma to stop. Ryouga calling him a coward was too much to take.

"Fine. You want it, you got it!" Ranma smirked as he built up his chi. "MOKO-TAKABIHSA!"

"SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!" Ryouga's black ball of chi energy halted Ranma's attack. "You can't stop me, Ranma! I fight on the side of justice. I won't allow you to use Uk-chan that way against me! SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!"

"MOKO TAKABISHA!" Ranma's blue bolt of energy halted Ryouga's attack. "I ain't using Ucchan against you, you jerk! She actually wants to go out with you, and I don't know what's wrong with her! You got no idea of how much it hurts not being able to help someone with a psychological problem as deep as that! MOKO TAKABISHA!"

"SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!" He stopped the bolt. "You liar! You know I'm happy with the way my life's been going and want to ruin it, just like before! And don't call her Ucchan! You lost that right a long time ago! SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!"

"MOKO TAKABISHA!" The black bolt was stopped once again. "She's my friend and I'll call her whatever I want! And it's a lot better than that stupid nickname you gave her! MOKO TAKABISHA!"

"SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN! She's my friend, not yours! And I would never reject her the way you did! I would sell my soul if it would help her! And my nickname for her is not stupid! SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!"

"MOKO TAKABISHA! I think she'd settle for you using deodorant on a regular basis, or at least if you got a clue to how she feels about you! All you're doing in going out with that dumb cheerleader is hurting Ucchan, not that you deserve someone as wonderful as her! MOKO TAKABISHA!"

"SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN! Kyoko is not dumb! You have no business calling her that! She's a very nice girl! And Ukyou's just my friend! She...she doesn't think about me that way. I mean I'm pretty sure..." Ryouga started to trail off as he thought about the situation. It was almost as if the things that were being said made sense. Then the realization of who was telling him the facts occurred to him. "RANMA! How dare you try to trick me like that! You almost succeeded in ruining my life again! SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!"

"MOKO TAKABISHA! How can anyone be as stupid as you and still be alive?! I'm going to make you accept the truth even if I have to beat it into you! Now ask Ucchan out on a date before I have to get really rough with you! MOKO TAKABISHA!"

"SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN! I would sooner die than go out on a date with Uk-chan! Now prepare to die Ran..." Ryouga trailed off as a black column of chi energy leveled a nearby building. The huge column remained as the building fell down around it.

Both combatants turned in surprise at the discharge and prepared to defend themselves when the dust settled from the explosion. Through the haze they could just make out a solitary figure standing in the middle of the dust, still glowing black. As the dust finally settled both youths made out the form.

"Ukyou," they both quietly said under their breath.

The look of rage in her face was enough to panic the two boys. Then, surprisingly, the rage was slowly replaced by a look of helplessness as the huge black column dwindled away to nothing.

Ukyou took in a deep breath and spoke. "Ryouga. I want you to go wherever your heart leads you. That's what I want." She gave a wane smile at the lost one, then turned and walked slowly off towards her home.

Both youths watched her leave, staring in the direction she walked off long after she went out of visual sight. Eventually, each turned to look at one another.

"RANMA!"

"RYOUGA!"

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Simultaneously erupted from both youths as they renewed throwing Moko Takabishas and Shi Shi Houkoudans at one another until both were totally exhausted of every ounce of chi they possessed. Each dropped to his knees and tried to regain some strength so they could finish the other one off.

"You two look a little tired."

Both youths turned as one to look at the new figure that uttered the comment.

"Oh, it's you, Pantyhose," Ranma said dryly.

"You should sound more excited than that to see me, Fem-boy." Tarou gave Ranma one of his sinister grins. "I mean scared."

"Oh no!" Ranma gave a frightened yelp as he held his hands up to his face in mock fright. "You mean you're going to dump me into a new spring and give me a stupid name like, Jock Strap or something?"

"I think ripping out that yapping tongue of yours is the way to go." Tarou cracked his knuckles for emphasis. "Then you'll have to learn to communicate with signs the way Mousse does." He gave Ranma one last grin then turned his attention to Ryouga. "My advice to you is to figure out a way to sleep with both of them. From the way you mope around I think you need to get laid more than I do. Now, blow, you pathetic piece of crap! This is between the hermaphrodite and me!"

Ryouga began trembling in rage. "How dare you speak that way about Kyoko and Ukyou! PANTYHOSE! PREPARE TO DIE!" The force of Ryouga's statement was not backed up by his ability as his attempt to unleash a Shi Shi Houkoudan fizzled between his hands.

"Suit yourself." Tarou shrugged. "Those two girls will probably leave a lot of nice flowers on your coffin. I'll even recommend a place where they can buy the best roses in town. I should know, I lived there long enough."

Ranma rushed over to Ryouga's side. "Together we can take him."

Ryouga nodded in agreement. Even he was willing to let go of the feud temporarily in the face of their current opposition.

"Oh dear," Tarou pretended to bite his fingernails and shiver in fear at the duo. "A two on one. Well, I know how much you guys go in for fair play, so let me even things up." He grabbed a canteen from around his waist and smiled. "I recommend saying your prayers now. With any luck you'll catch up to where they go pretty soon." And with that he poured the water over himself, triggering the change.

"This looks...bad, doesn't it, Ranma?"

Ranma nodded his head in response. He couldn't figure out any way they could win. And why did he have to lose to this guy? Given a choice, he would have preferred being defeated by Azusa Shiratori instead of someone named Pantyhose.

Tarou-bull was about to stomp forward when a voice rang out.

"Ranma! Quit picking on Tarou!"

Everyone turned to see a fuming Akane, hands on her hips in anger.

"I figured you were up to no good. It's bad enough you're picking on Tarou, but dragging Ryouga into this? Haven't you got enough courage to do this yourself instead of having others help you in your fights?!" She shook her fist at him in anger.

Ranma just shrugged, secretly relieved at the save. "You're right, Akane. I shouldn't pick on Pantyhose." He gave a big grin towards Tarou-bull. "I'm sorry for picking a fight with you, Pantyhose. I won't do it again, Pantyhose. To prove my sincerity, I'm going to leave now, Pantyhose. I know since I'm the mean, rotten, bad guy here, and you are the nice, wholesome, good guy, that you don't want to fight, so you won't follow me, isn't that right, Pantyhose?"

It took every ounce of restraint Tarou-bull had possessed in his entire life to not begin frothing at the mouth and gore Saotome on the spot. Instead, he managed just the slightest of grins back at Ranma. All the while fantasizing what he was going to do to Ranma, his dead body, and his grave afterwards.

"Quit trying to start a fight, Ranma!" Akane warned, then looked up at Tarou. "Don't let him get to you. He's like that all the time. Now let's get you some hot water." She grabbed the giant Tarou-bull by the hand and led him away from the scene of the battle. All the while Tarou-bull glared back at Ranma, promising revenge with those eyes.

"That was sure pointless," Ranma muttered, then turned to the lost one. "Do you wanna continue, or call it quits for today?"

Ryouga considered that. Any desire he felt to kill Ranma was now gone and he was drained. It would be pointless to try to continue any fights. "No," he said, then walked off. Ranma turned and did the same. There was little need to be concerned about Akane. She was apparently the one person Tarou considered off limits, and he wasn't in any shape to try to challenge him at the moment. But someday Pantyhose would get what was coming to him. Someday.

The practice session for the Furinkan High Cheerleader Squad ended with one final practice with the whirlwind pyramid. Once finished, Ai lay on her back, sighing at a picture of Ukyou, while the other girls gathered around Kyoko.

"I think I'm ready for the next big step with Ryouga." She gave a girlish giggle and began dancing around in excitement.

"That, I find hard to believe." Kaede shook her head to underscore her statement.

Megumi held up her finger. "I've never seen her so worked up over a guy before. I think she should do it."

Ayeka held her hand to her chin in thought. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

Kyoko nodded her head. "I've been going out with him long enough. I think he's ready, and won't run away from me afterwards."

"I guess having them leave after they're done would be kind of depressing," Kaede agreed.

"You seem to have thought this through," Megumi said. "It sounds to me like you're ready. And Ryouga does seem like a nice, if thick-headed, kind of guy."

"Why don't you borrow some things from Ai?" Ayeka walked over to the captain, who was still lost in thought. "Kyoko's going to need some things from you, Ai."

"Like what?" she said as she continued staring at the picture.

Ayeka began thinking about the inventory of paraphernalia kept at her home and what Kyoko might use. "For her, I'd say body lotion, K-Y jelly, some garters to help turn Ryouga on, umm." She turned to Kyoko. "Do you like pain?"

Kyoko shook her head furiously. "Of course not!"

"Do you like inflicting it?" she asked

A small smile blossomed on Kyoko's face as she paused in thought. It quickly disappeared as she began to blush. "No. Not really."

"Then whips are out," Ayeka continued. "Better include some condoms. I doubt he'll think of them and I know she's not on the pill."

"What am I going to need all that for?" Kyoko asked.

"Flavor, girl," Ayeka said. "Your first time should be special. You don't want to just have a 'wham-bam-thank you ma'am' sort of thing. When the two of you make love it should be a perfect memory that you will always cherish."

Kyoko paled. "You think I should have sex in front of my parents?!"

Ayeka looked at her in confusion. "Not unless they're REALLY open minded."

"Hold on a moment," Ai suddenly focused on the conversation. "When you say 'take the next step' what do you mean?"

"I want him to meet my parents. What did you think I meant?"

Megumi looked on, exasperated. "I should have known." She paused for a moment to reconsider the suggestion. "I personally think you should sleep with him beforehand, though."

"Why?" Kyoko asked.

"I know your parents," Megumi explained. "and you'll need every edge you can get to convince him to stay with you after meeting them."

Kyoko considered the advice as she went to collect Ryouga.

Ryouga stared at Ukyou as she stood behind her grill. Normally, she appeared so alive when making okonomiyaki it would take Ryouga's breath away. It wasn't just the motions she went through, which seemed to be one continuous symphony of movement, that resulted in a culinary masterpiece, it was the vitality that she held in her eyes as the ingredients took the shape of the object she desired. He had once asked her how she became so perfect in the creation process. She had explained that she put a little bit of herself in each dish she made.

But now that vitality was missing.

"Ukyou," Ryouga began. "What did you mean when you told me to do what my heart tells me to do?"

She looked at Ryouga as though confused. "I mean just what I said."

"Yeah, but I don't understand it."

Ukyou shook her head. "There's no way I can explain it to you. Just do what you want. I'll understand." She went back to her cooking.

Ryouga took a deep breath. He was uncertain if he should continue asking her the questions that needed to be spoken. But if he didn't risk it he might not ever know what it was that was bothering her. He decided to take the chance, and hope she didn't get offended.

"Ukyou. You've been acting very differently since I was lost with Kyoko all that time. I'm really worried about you."

"You are?" She couldn't help but smile at his concern while cursing herself for being so soft around him at the same time.

"Of course. Did Ranma do something to you while I was gone?"

The smile disappeared as she began boiling in rage. "Ranma is not to blame for everything that goes wrong in your life, Jackass! You are plenty responsible for a lot of the things that aren't perfect in your world! Now stop blaming him for everything that doesn't go your way and start thinking about what you might have done to make things the way they are now!"

Ryouga was taken aback by the anger in her voice. Part of him figured that Ranma must have done something to her to get that kind of reaction to that kind of a question, but another part of his mind began working on what she actually said. It did not get very far along in the process when a cheerleader burst through the door to Uk-Chan's and glomped itself onto Ryouga.

As much as Ryouga loved the expression of affection, he found himself wanting to think instead of basking in the adoration. He carefully detached the cheerleader. "What is it?"

"I want you to go with me tonight. There's this great dance club one of my friends told me about that's really neat." Kyoko took a deep breath to work up the courage and go forward with what she knew she had to do. "And there's some people I want you to meet."

"Look, Kyoko," Ryouga began. "I'm not so sure tonight's so goo..." His voice trailed off as he saw tears begin to form in her eyes.

"You don't like me any more?" she sobbed out.

"N...no! NO! It's not that at all. We can go out. No problem." There was no way he could live with himself if he made a girl cry, especially one as nice as Kyoko. He started to escort her out when he turned back to say good bye to Ukyou. She waved to him and told him to have a good time. Even as oblivious as Ryouga could be sometimes, he still saw the sadness she tried to hide with that face.

It was with a heavy heart that he followed Kyoko to their destination. If he refused, it would break the cheerleader's heart, making him just as miserable as he now felt for abandoning Ukyou without finding out what was really wrong. He had everything he wanted and it was turning out to be less than he expected. Where did everything start to go wrong?

Halfway to the dance club Kyoko suddenly decided she needed something from home. The pair arrived at a small, pleasant looking house located in the nicer part of Nerima. At first Ryouga tried to insist on staying outside, but Kyoko would have none of that. She cajoled him into going into the house and left him in the entryway while she went inside to grab what she had come for.

She had not been out of sight for more then ten seconds when a shot rang out. Ryouga felt the breeze of something passing over his head and heard a thunk in the wooden wall behind him. A quick examination of the wall revealed that it had indeed been a gunshot, the bullet just missing his head by less than three inches.

"Sorry about that. The gun accidentally went off while I was cleaning it."

Ryouga turned back to the direction the gun had been fired from. There was a middle-aged man holding a revolver and waving it indiscriminately before Ryouga.

Ryouga was about to attack the gunman when Kyoko returned with a cross expression on her face. "DADDY!"

The middle aged man turned to Kyoko. "Hello, Pumpkin. I was just meeting this new boyfriend of yours."

"Yeah! Right! And your gun 'accidentally' discharged again, didn't it?" She asked with her hands on her hips indignantly.

"Yes. It was an accident."

Kyoko shook her head. "I'm so sure. It's funny how, whenever I bring a boy over for you to meet, you always seem to be cleaning your gun and it accidentally goes off. Didn't you learn your lesson when Tora came by?"

"Oh, that's right," her father reluctantly said. "How is the boy, by the way?"

"He's a lot better. You can barely notice the limp."

"Well, that's good." The man returned his attention to Ryouga. "So you're my daughter's new boyfriend. I'm her father, the police officer." He emphasized the last part quite strongly.

"Pleased to meet you sir," Ryouga said as he bowed before the man and held his hand behind his head, laughing nervously the entire time.

"Now you take good care of my daughter. I'd hate to have to hunt you down and shoot you," he warned while smiling pleasantly the entire time.

Kyoko grabbed Ryouga by the arm before her father could do any further damage. "Let's get out of here before Daddy blows your head off."

She pulled Ryouga into the kitchen and left him there while she went to grab her jacket from upstairs. Ryouga simply stood in the middle of the kitchen, wondering what to do while listening for the hammer to be drawn back on a gun that was no doubt waiting for him. He was so wrapped up in tension that he neglected to hear the soft tone of a speaker being turned on.

He was trying to figure out how many bullets he could take when music suddenly boomed out of the huge speakers next to the walls. Somehow he had missed those rather large pieces of music equipment upon his initial arrival in the kitchen. A woman in her thirties burst into the room bearing a microphone in hand. Ryouga could do nothing other than form a huge sweatdrop behind his head as she approached.

The woman began to sing, her voice coming out over the speakers.

"Come to you across the divide  
Looking out, a wrinkle in time  
there is nothing less I would do  
than to stand up for truth."

She moved with a great deal of theatrical motion as she made her way over to where Ryouga was standing and began singing directly to him.

"In the cold dark ways of this lonely place  
I will warm you hold you  
a gold shield glistens and your breath quickens  
I will stand close by over you."

She held out a second microphone and handed it to Ryouga, then indicated with her hands that he should begin singing as well. He began tentatively at first as he strove to recall the lyrics to the song.

"Two hands held strong and sure  
with the power of one  
reaching out past the walls  
that can hold you"

At last, Ryouga remembered the lyrics and began singing enthusiastically with the woman, the two performing a duet.

"We are guardians and warriors  
come from somewhere to mind  
what creates you and shapes  
the Alchemy of Love."

Ryouga really got into it as the two of them performed side by side, movements mirroring one another as they sang to an unseen audience.

"There is a chain of light out  
across the endless skies  
and I see the energy that  
reflects me in your eyes  
and keeps us both alive and  
keeps us both alive.

"Evening and the shadows will come  
to destroy what we have done  
but always will the power of love  
shine a light as bright as the sun.

"When the cold dark waves on  
the shores break  
I am around you found you  
a gold sword fires and night expires  
a long night surrounding you."

As the two continued on to the finale of the song, enjoying playing the roles of singers until a pair of hands began clapping.

"You two did a great job." Kyoko had returned, jacket in hand, and waved at the older woman. "Hi, Mom!" Now that Ryouga got a good look at the older woman he saw there was more than a passing resemblance between the two.

"I like this one, Kyoko," the woman said in a husky voice as she placed her arm around Ryouga's shoulders. "I think you should keep him."

"Thanks, Mom!" Kyoko made Ryouga give up the karioke microphone and headed outside, making herself a human shield in case her father decided to try to use Ryouga for target practice once more.

"Your mother is very, ahhh..."

"A very good singer? You better believe it," Kyoko said. "And she likes you. That's great! Now all we have to do is keep Dad from shooting you and everything will be perfect."

Ryouga just gave a nervous laugh. That was one weird family, even by his standards.

Nabiki hung up the phone as the rest of the family looked on. She turned to the group and relayed the message. "Kasumi says it's late and that she and Shampoo are going to spend the night at a hotel. She also said not to worry and..." Nabiki ran off Kasumi's list of one hundred reminders for what to do in her absence.

"Do you think she'll be all right, Saotome?" Soun was practically chewing on one of the tables in anxiety of his daughter spending the night far away from home.

"She's with Shampoo. There's nothing to fear. That girl can take care of any trouble that comes up," Genma reassured his old friend.

Soun looked visibly relieved as he turned back to the game board and made the next move.

"She won't be back until tomorrow, right?" Akane asked, suddenly hopeful.

Ranma suddenly had a bad feeling. "No. Why do you ask?"

"Well," Akane smiled back. "Someone has to cook breakfast."

Four cries of "I'm trying to lose weight, so I'm going to skip breakfast" cut off any further discussion, causing Akane to leave in a huff. She would make it anyway and they would all eat it. Kasumi would never forgive her if she let the rest of the family starve.

The others headed for bed while Nabiki ran down the final checklist that Kasumi had left. It really was surprising just how much Nabiki's older sister did without anyone else realizing it. The middle Tendo girl did all of the requests until she got to the one she had been dreading since Kasumi had mentioned it. In hindsight, Nabiki should have suckered Ranma into doing it for her. But now he would be asleep and it would be next to impossible to awaken him from his slumber.

She went into the kitchen and looked at Birdy, who returned her cold stare with one of his own.

"Forget it," she decided. "You can go hungry for a night." The little vermin wouldn't kick the bucket of it didn't eat for one day.

She turned her back on the pterodactyl, not seeing the mean stare it leveled at her departing form.

The next day:

Nabiki yawned as she woke up from her restful slumber. Lifting up the covers she raised her arms high above her head and stretched out, working the kinks out of her arms. She rubbed her eyes, clearing them enough to see the rat's head sitting in her bed right next to a message that was scrawled on a piece of paper. She stared wide eyed at the repulsive sight and read the message:

Next time, feed me, or else.

It was signed. "Birdy."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Once out of her bedroom she had managed to compose herself and looked at the facts.

One: Birdy was a stupid animal.  
Two: Birdy was locked up in a cage.  
Three: Animals couldn't write.

One check on the fact Birdy was still in his cage, and one splash of hot water to ensure it wasn't just another Jusenkyou curse victim, confirmed her beliefs. That meant someone else must have done it. And there was only one likely suspect. Grabbing a pair of gloves, she took the rat's head and delivered it to the most likely culprit.

Nabiki stormed into the Saotome's bedroom. One splash of cold water later Ranma-chan sat up.

"Whad'ya do that for?!" she shouted.

"This!" And with that, Nabiki stuffed the rat's head right next Ranma-chan's face.

Ranma leapt back, repulsed. "YECH! That's gross! What the hell do you think you're doing, you sick weirdo?!"

Nabiki dropped the head on Ranma-chan's sheets. "I know you're behind putting that in my bed. This isn't the last you've heard of this, Saotome." And with that she departed, leaving a very confused redhead behind.

Genma woke up and evaluated the situation. Once he spotted the rat's head he spoke up. "That reminds me, time for breakfast."

"You're sick, Pop!" Ranma-chan condemned. She had lost her entire appetite with the morning's events, even if Akane wasn't the one making it.

Mousse walked about the ground of Kunou Manor, careful to avoid the traps meant to dispatch unwary intruders. It almost seemed the Kunous had an obsession with security.

Kodachi walked beside Mousse, remaining unusually quiet. It was only when he initiated conversation that she seemed inclined to talk at length with him. During those times she would go from extreme happiness to deep depression, though she always responded well when he tried to cheer her up.

During the tour Mousse had finally met the infamous father of the Kunou clan. Twice the refugee from a Hawaiian Tropic ad tried to give Mousse an undesired haircut.

"Take off dat hair, boy. Ya don' wan be thought of as a hippy," he said in barely understood Japanese, only to have Kodachi chase her father off both times using her ribbon as a whip. She tried to apologize for her father's behavior, but Mousse would have none of that. His insanity wasn't her fault.

The sound of a battle cry captured Mousse's attention. He and Kodachi moved to see Kunou practicing with his bokken. Kodachi made some comment about how her brother was doing nothing other than practicing lately. Mousse was about to turn away in disinterest when something about Kunou's style caught his eye. The sword techniques he was employing seemed a great deal better than the ones he usually employed in combat. Mousse adjusted his glasses and used a much closer examination. There was no doubt about it. Kunou was at least twice as good as before, making him glad Kunou didn't bear him any grudge. Maybe Mousse would get lucky and Ranma would anger Kunou and get the living daylights beat out of him.

Mousse left as Kunou severed the heads of four practice dummies with one swing. Kunou silently hoped he would be able to do ten, as the handbook he had found implied. Soon he would be ready.

Soon.

The rest of the day was unusually normal for Ranma. He managed to keep from starving by grabbing his meals at Ukyou's as the two talked for close to an hour about the good old days. As time passed several of the Furinkan students wandered in and joined the conversation. As the students talked about an upcoming school project one of them began to whine.

"Where are we going to find a windsock?"

Ranma could not believe his ears. "I got one I can give you guys. Let me run to my place and get it."

It wasn't long before Ranma returned bearing the gift Akane had made for him. He gave it to his fellow students, happy he could be of service. It was such a surprise that Akane had actually given him something like that and it proved to be useful. He would have to thank her later.

The rest of the late afternoon and early evening was spent roller skating in the park. It had been months since he had a chance to listen to the cheers of his adoring fans, all of whom he had missed very much. After a three hour performance in which he performed newer and even more incredible stunts than ever before, he headed back home. It was the middle of the evening when he returned and immediately went to find the others, figuring Shampoo and Kasumi should have returned from their trip by now. He only discovered the fathers and Nabiki who were sitting around the table, looking for all the world like condemned prisoners.

Fearing the worst, Ranma braved the storm. "What happened?"

"K...K...Kasumi!" Soun sobbed.

Ranma felt dread building. "What happened to her?"

"She and Shampoo aren't coming back today," Genma explained.

Ranma understood immediately. "That means..."

"Here's dinner!"

Akane entered the room and plopped down some unrecognizable substance in the middle of the table. She grabbed a spoon and dug into the substance. "You first, Ranma."

"AHHHHH!" It was like some horrible nightmare that repeated itself over and over again every day. He fled the house, praying Uk-Chan's was still open, while being chased by Akane, who was bound and determined to that he eat this meal, even if it was his last on earth.

The next day:

Shampoo-kun stared out as the cab window watching the world go past. They two of them were already back in Nerima and would soon return home. The mini vacation was at an end. It was bothering him more than he thought it would.

He gave a soft gaze towards Kasumi as he saw that she too was staring out the opposite window, lost in thought as well.

"We're almost home," Kasumi said out loud. "I hope the others are all right."

"I tell you, they all big boys and girls. They can take care of themselves fine."

"I suppose," Kasumi sighed. "It was wonderful, wasn't it?"

Shampoo-kun nodded. "Yes. It was."

"I needed a vacation. It was nice to pretend for a while, wasn't it? That it was just the two of us, alone and without a care in the world." Kasumi looked almost forlorn as her mind drifted back to the weekend.

Words were becoming more difficult for Shampoo-kun. Almost painful. "Maybe... maybe we could try to make something out of -"

Kasumi cut him off by placing a finger to his lips. "No. Don't say that. Please. We both know it wouldn't work out. There are too many complications."

"Maybe," Shampoo-kun assented.

"You're a girl. Right?" Kasumi asked.

Of course. Shampoo-kun nodded his head.

"And you don't want to be a boy," Kasumi stated. "You would cure yourself of your curse if you had the opportunity, right?"

"Yes," Shampoo-kun said softly if somewhat reluctantly. It wasn't so much the curse anymore as the complications that arose from it. But he did want to be entirely female once again.

"Well," Kasumi continued. "If I had some of that magic girl water, I would cure you right now. I love you and want what's best for you."

"I love you too," Shampoo-kun agreed. Though he believed it must have hurt Kasumi at least a little to say things like that. No matter how happy she appeared on the outside.

"And if you were a girl all the time where would that leave us?" Kasumi asked. "We both know I'm not attracted to you when you're female. This weekend proved that."

Shampoo-kun nodded. That was the undeniable truth, as much as both of them might have wished otherwise.

Kasumi sounded almost troubled as she spoke more rapidly. "I do love you when you're a girl, but it's a different kind of love. I know it shouldn't be that way. I know you're the same person underneath no matter what sex you are. Maybe that's a failing on my part."

"No," Shampoo-kun protested. "It's not. It's just the way you are." The way he used to be, sort of.

"I suppose," she acceded. "I just want you to be happy. That's the most important thing to me. I really would be happy if we could cure you of your curse."

He examined her closely. She was being sincere. He was sure of it. And that sincerity made him feel even more guilty than before, though there was no reason for it.

Kasumi looked deeply into his eyes. "Thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life."

"It was the most special for me as well," the Amazon agreed. "I never going to forget it as long as I live. It always hold a special place in my heart."

They were silent for a while before Kasumi spoke up once again. "We're almost there." There was no doubt there was the slightest bit of sadness in her voice. "We're going to have to stop pretending now."

"Yes," Shampoo-kun agreed. He watched Kasumi start to say something else, then stop. "What is it?"

"It's nothing." The lie could not have been more obvious.

"Kasumi." Shampoo-kun's tone warranted no argument.

She took a deep breath. "I just wanted to ask if we could kiss one last time before we get home."

That was all she wanted. So little. "I like that very much," he said softly.

The two of them leaned forward, lips engaging in a passionate embrace.

"Thank kami-sama! They're back!" Ranma exclaimed, thought he remained standing still. Akane had managed to force feed him some of the swill she had made, with the predictable results. An upset stomach that even medicine couldn't cure.

Akane just growled at the declaration.

The cab pulled up to the house. Kasumi was the first one out as she hugged her tearful father and politely greeted everyone else. Nabiki took note that her normally cheerful sister almost seemed to be glowing with joy. The vacation had obviously done wonders for her. There was also something else that she couldn't quite place. Something that was...different about Kasumi.

Shampoo-kun finished paying the driver and turned to see Ranma come over to him.

"Nice vacation?"

Shampoo-kun nodded his head.

"Let's go inside and you can tell me about it," Ranma was eager to hear what the two of them had done over the weekend. It was a surprise as Shampoo-kun looked strangely at him and shook his head.

"Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow," he answered, then went inside.

That left Ranma more than a little confused. Shampoo always had time for him, and they hadn't even seen each other for the better part of three days. He had certainly missed the Amazon, and it was quite a blow to his pride that she hadn't felt the same.

Shampoo-kun made his way to his room, remaining male. For the first time that he could remember, he had no desire to be around Ranma. What that meant was anyone's guess. Instead, he chose to lie down and reminisce about the weekend and what an almost perfect time he had with the eldest of the Tendo girls. What he had told Kasumi earlier was true. It might very well have been the best weekend of his life. How unfortunate that it could never be repeated again. At least that was what he told himself.

Kasumi made a tsking sound as she entered the kitchen and saw the pile of dishes waiting for her in the sink.

"Sorry about that, Sis," Nabiki said as she followed her older sister into the kitchen. "I meant to clean those up."

"Don't worry about it," Kasumi said as she cheerfully began washing. Things were rapidly settling back to normal for Kasumi.

Nabiki examined her sister more closely. Something was different about her. She still almost seemed to be glowing. "So, how'd the trip go?"

"It was wonderful," Kasumi sighed.

"And the wedding?"

"It was beautiful. Absolutely perfect. I can only hope all of us have ones just as nice." Kasumi looked off in the distance, obviously lost in thought.

"What did you and Shampoo do for three days?" Nabiki was becoming more and more anxious as she tried to figure out what was going on. Being in the dark was slowly eating away at her.

"We went to a hot springs area. Then we went shopping and did some other things."

"Yes, I saw the bags." Nabiki said. The two had certainly arrived with more than they had left. They must have done a great deal of shopping. "Anything else?"

"You know, just things." Kasumi went back to washing the dishes.

"Did you and Shampoo sleep in different rooms?" Nabiki asked, continuing the probe for information.

"Oh no. We couldn't afford two rooms, so we shared one."

Nabiki finally realized something about her sister. "I see. By the way Sis, why are you walking funny?"

Kasumi dropped one of the plates. She 'OH'd and mumbled something about being clumsy and began to clean it up. Nabiki waited patiently for her to finish before speaking up again.

"You didn't answer my question."

"What question was that?"

Nabiki thought the most vexing part about it was that Kasumi looked completely sincere instead of being evasive when claiming she forgot about it. Nabiki repeated the question just to make sure.

Kasumi placed her hand to he chin in thought. "Well, we did a lot of walking. A suppose I pulled a muscle without realizing it."

"Walking?" Nabiki's eyebrow shot up at that. How much walking did it require to pull a muscle?

"Yes," Kasumi said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We did a lot of dancing the night before and we did a lot walking the next day. So it must be from the walking."

"And that's the only thing that could have done it?" Nabiki asked, every sense trying to read her sister's body language. She was holding something back, maybe. It was so impossible to tell when dealing with Kasumi. Her reactions to situations were still far from normal, and her body language reflected that.

"I think that's probably what did it," Kasumi said with confidence.

Nabiki stared at her sister as though she could see right through her. It wasn't like she could accuse Kasumi of lying.

"Is there anything else?" Kasumi asked politely.

"No. I'm glad you two had a 'good time,'" she emphasized the last words and set off to find Shampoo. There were more than a few questions that needed asked, beginning with "What did you do with my sister?"

"Watch out for that crate!"

The dock foreman shielded his eyes so the rain wouldn't fall on them as he looked upon the crane operator. The operator was either the stupidest human being on the face of the planet, or at least using the crane while drunk.

The shipping crate was placed on the ship with no more difficulties. The foreman checked on the next one slated to be loaded on. A last minute addition whose destination was Siberia. He told the operator to use the crane on it. One last crate before he could get out of the downpour and into a nice warm house. It was just what he needed.

The foreman's thoughts were interrupted as the sound of a crate hitting the side of one of the warehouses rang out. He started to curse the craneman again as the operator tried to get it right the second time. As the crate was halfway to the ship it suddenly erupted, belching forth a huge razorback that took off as soon as it hit the ground.

The operator was only aware of the razorback hitting the ground and running off at top speed. He looked down at the little flask of whiskey he had kept out of sight and been drinking from all night long, then looked back at the fleeing side of bacon, then back at the flask.

It was time to become sober. Being drunk for twenty years wore down a man's faculties, and there was no clearer sign from kami-sama that it was time to quit when pigs flew down from out of the sky.

Five Days later:  
Joketsuzoku, China:

Four of the elders remained before Cologne well after the council meeting had ended.

"I still can't believe you found all those artifacts. I thought they would be lost to us forever. Why, the medallion alone has been missing for five generations." Shou Ya still spoke in awe at the revelation. Cologne had calmly explained to the council that she had sought out great artifacts while in Japan and had remained there until she could ascertain the validity of the pieces. They were so in awe of the discovery that none of them listened closely enough to tell that she had never once claimed that was her reason for going to Japan in the first place.

"It was nothing," Cologne waved her hand dissmissively.

Be Dea frowned a little. The most negative emotion that she had shown all day. Not only had Cologne returned, but she had managed to come back a hero. Each piece of treasure was incredibly valuable, and any advantage Be Dea had gained with the council over the last few months of Cologne's absence had been dashed in less than a day. Damn, but the woman was good. "I had some doubts as to the necessity of your departure, but now I see that it was indeed essential to our cause. I am impressed. You have my thanks." That was sincere, at least.

"Why thank you." Cologne accepted the compliment graciously with a serious face, though underneath the pleasant veneer she was smirking in enjoyment. How it must have galled her rival to say such words.

With everyone treating her with such reverence Cologne decided that now would be the best time to deliver the announcement. "I must return to Japan. There is still much work to be done."

Comb spoke up. "You can't leave. You've just returned. And there are still so many things that have to be done. Like dealing with the Musk."

She had anticipated their reluctance. Sometimes they really did act like the old women so many other called them. "I took care of the minor problems and gave you instructions on what to do with so many other problems that might arise. And so long as the Musk make no open moves with their supposed army, we have nothing to fear. They are too far away to effectively attack us without a great deal of prior warning," Cologne said to ease the others' apprehension. "You have done a great job of running things in my absence. And it's not as though I'll live forever. You have to be able to do things on your own."

"That's not the problem," Talcum stated. "You are the matriarch. You should be here and dealing with this, not going about on grand adventures seeking ancient artifacts. Leave that to the younger generation. Let them prove themselves."

"There is little enough adventure in the world today," Shou Ya commented. "I would not steal it away from those that would grow strong in such quests. It's difficult enough for them as is."

"Still, if the Musk do attempt to do something, we must have every resource at our disposal, Be Dea said. I believe the matriarch is correct. She should seek out whatever edge we can get. And she is, after all, our leader. If she cannot lead herself, who would follow her?"

With Be Dea's somewhat unexpected show of support, the other three agreed to Cologne's travel arrangements, with one stipulation. She should take along a magical tracking device so she could be quickly found should some emergency come up. The matriarch readily agreed to the arrangement. As she went to leave, Comb asked one last question.

"Where is Shampoo? We haven't heard from her since you left. We assumed she was with you."

Years of practice allowed Cologne to evade the question with ease. "No. She didn't travel with me and I have no idea where she is at the moment. I'm not especially worried. She's a big girl. Why, at that age, I had already had so many grand adventures, I was practically as seasoned a warrior four times my age back then. It will do the girl good to set off in the world and grow up some. Get a new perspective, so to speak."

"I keep trying to get my granddaughter, Blossom, to leave the nest as well," Talcum lamented. "But the young one refuses to grow up and take responsibility."

The others nodded their heads in agreement, each remembering how some offspring had refused to take on responsibilities as was necessary for their age. The elders made certain to mention how they were never like that though.

After another half hour of reminiscing about the good old days, Cologne began to leave once more to make travel preparations. Comb again spoke up.

"One last thing, Matriarch. There's a rumor going around about Shampoo falling into Nanniichuan."

Cologne expected something like this, and answered immediately with a well prepared answer. "Such nonsense! Don't you think I would be aware of such a thing?!"

"I told you not to bother her with that ridiculous rumor," Be Dea chided her. "That was just Herb trying to cause trouble. And here you are, playing right into his hands!"

"But she-," Comb didn't get a chance to finish as Be Dea cut her off.

"Is perfectly fine, I'm sure. If her own great grandmother is not concerned about it, neither am I. And if it's good enough for me, it should be good enough for you."

Comb's eyes blazed with anger momentarily, then she settled down. "You're right. Sorry about that, Matriarch."

"You shouldn't give any heed to rumors. It always leads to trouble," Cologne advised.

"Especially you, Kou-Me," Shou Ya said as her voice took on a dangerous tone. "Why, if I recall correctly, there was a rumor about you fooling around with my husband about, oh, one hundred and eighty years ago. Way, way back in our youth. If I took such things seriously, you wouldn't be alive today.

Sweatdrops formed behind everyone but Shou Ya's head.

"Good thing we don't pay attention to rumors then." Comb felt her pulse race. Everyone knew Shou Ya was more powerful than Comb, and her anger was nearly a thing of legend in the tribe. Several times Shou Ya had hinted at knowing there was more to it than rumor, but there was no chance she had any evidence. Even after a century, Shou Ya would not hesitate to make Comb die in agony for violating her honor, and husband, if she ever admitted to it. Of course, remembering what Shelf had been like, Comb felt it was worth the risk. At least back then.

Such was the politics of the Joketsuzoku.

Shou Ya gave a laugh to defuse the situation. As the others relaxed, Cologne finally bid a fond farewell to everyone and left. Comb quickly followed, leaving the other three council members alone.

"She worded that carefully," Talcum said.

"Too carefully," Shou Ya agreed.

Talcum thought about it. "It could be a game. You know how she likes to test us to see our reactions."

"Perhaps," Shou Ya agreed, then turned her attention to Be Dea. "Why did you leap to her defense like that? Are you eager to catch her in a lie?" She asked Be Dea.

"I'm eager to catch her if she's lying. There's a world of difference between the two," Be Dea corrected.

Talcum knew Be Dea was already planning something. "What are you going to do?"

Be Dea gave a creepy smile that could rival Cologne's. "In a couple days I will have a change of mind concerning Shampoo's absence. She has been gone from us for far too long and we need to know why she has been absent. If it turns out to be for legitimate reasons, then I'll look a little foolish and accept the loss of respect. If it's something else, like she lost to her longtime paramour, Mu-Tse, in a marriage duel and ran for it rather than let us know she fouled up, then there will be a lot of explaining to do."

"And if it's Nanniichuan?" Talcum asked.

"Then heads will roll," Be Dea said calmly.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alchemy of Love by Christopher Franke

Special Thanks to:

Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Gray Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Shadowmage  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	26. Girl Problems

Prologue

Sweat glistened off of Shampoo's body as she continued working through the kata. It had happened. She felt it this time and there could be no doubt about it. This was one of those rare occasions when she had moved to perfection. No one, not Ranma, not even her grandmother, could have executed the pattern any more flawlessly. This was the pinnacle of the art, and should have been a moment to rejoice. Perfection was something that was lacking throughout life, yet this was one of those moments when nothing could be done to improve what she had just accomplished.

Rather than bask in the personal victory, she continued onward, flowing yet into another pattern, running through it at twice the speed of the first one. Flawlessness was not what she was trying to achieve this time. Speed was the goal. Blinding speed that involved a complex series of foot and hand movements that blurred with near Amaguriken-like speed. In a flash that was switched to a series of leaps and body movements that lashed out at some imagined foe. There were precious few that could withstand the series of attacks that Shampoo employed, had they been against a real opponent.

At last she came to a halt on front of the floor to ceiling mirror that decorated the entire circular room. Her chest heaved with the deep breaths she inhaled to regain her energy and compose herself. Placing her hands on her hips she admired the imposing figure that was reflected in the mirror before her. The image was somewhat disheveled, but normal in every other way. This is what she was, one of the best. The reflection in the mirror could attest to that.

Which is why it was such a surprise when the image's eyes took on an almost wild gleam as it gave an even wider smile at Shampoo. Shock laced through her since her real body had not moved one centimeter. Her own eyes widened as her image placed its hands on the sides of its own face and dug its nails in. Flesh came away all too easily as the visage was shredded, almost as though it had been nothing more than a horrible mask that the doppelganger in the mirror possessed. Even as the pieces of errant skin fell from its hands Shampoo could clearly see the face that lay beneath the one removed.

It was Shampoo-kun.

Shampoo could do nothing other than stand in shock as the male image impossibly stepped out of the mirror, changing to a male body as it crossed the border between reality and the looking glass. Shampoo's surprise was so great that she had managed to back no more than a couple of inches before the male figure clutched her, pinning her arms to her sides. It maintained its grasp as it roughly cast both of them to the ground. The near mirror image then straddled her chest, resistance being futile as Shampoo felt the strength mysteriously leave her limbs as she lay there, helpless.

Her stunned mind managed to put together a string of words. "Who are you?"

The double looked down pitifully at her. "I'm you. The real you."

Shampoo shook her head in disbelief. The creature had to mean something else. "What do you mean?"

"Just what I said," the double explained. "This is what you really are, when you peel away all the useless illusions that warm water provides. This is what you want to be, deep inside you heart."

"LIAR!" Shampoo shouted. "I'm a girl! I am not male! I'm not!"

"What about that little hot spring adventure with Kasumi then?" the double mocked.

Shampoo suddenly quieted down. "I...I only did that because Kasumi wanted me to be a man. I just wanted to make her happy. She's done so much for me, and I wanted to do something for her. She deserves to be happy."

Shampoo-kun raised his head up and gave a deep hysterical laugh. "Lying to yourself? Oh please! You enjoyed it every bit as much as she did. No. Don't waste your time trying to convince yourself otherwise." His voice lowered to an almost baritone level. "Let me show you the truth."

The double's hands shot out and grasped the sides of Shampoo's face. Even if she had not lacked the strength there was no way she could have prevented the man's actions. With a quick pull he ripped away Shampoo's face in an identical motion to what he had done to himself moments before. Even as the flesh gave way Shampoo could feel herself undergoing the all too familiar transformation, mass being lost and gained in various places from around her body. In less than a second Shampoo had been forced to change to her cursed form without the benefit of cold water.

"Now you see what I mean. I told you that's what was really underneath." The doppelganger grinned at the boy pinned beneath him, as he ran a hand along the prone Amazon's chest.

"It's not true," Shampoo-kun sobbed. "I am a girl."

The double's smile switched to a look of pity. "Why are you being so stubborn? It doesn't make any difference to you what sex you are."

"W...what are you talking about?" Shampoo-kun asked fearfully.

The double's voice shifted to a higher one Shampoo-kun recognized all too well. "Let me show you." And with that he once again pulled away his face, though this time it was neither Shampoo's male nor female features that stared back at her.

Ranma-chan stared down at her form, smiling exactly like a cat with cornered prey.

"You find me attractive," the redhead began, speaking in the same tone Ranma-chan always did. She leaned forward until Shampoo-kun could feel her breath against his face. "You like Kasumi, but you burn for me. Male or female doesn't mean anything to you. You'll take me any way you can."

"No. I..." He licked his lips, trying to bring moisture back to them. "I want you to want me as a girl. It's important to me. I need you to want me as a woman."

"Don't be picky," Ranma-chan scolded. "It's a perfect match. Boy and girl or girl and boy. All it takes is some warm water, or cold depending on what you're in the mood for. All you need to do is say it. Tell me you want me like I am now. Say it to my face."

Something deep and primal within Shampoo-kun wanted to say it, but he couldn't find the voice for the feelings. It shouldn't have to be like this. Ranma should desire her for what she was: a girl.

Ranma-chan looked on, scorn evident in her features. "Coward," she said as she rose to her feet. "You're so afraid I'll reject you, it's disgusting."

That shocked the Amazon out of his reverie. "I don't want to lose you!"

"You don't have me. And since you don't want me, I guess I'll just have to go to Akane. She'll love me as a man or a woman. What I am isn't important to her and you know it, coward." Ranma-chan gave one last contemptuous sneer and turned to walk away.

Strength at last returned to Shampoo-kun allowing him to shoot to his feet. Ranma-chan hadn't taken more than three steps when the Amazon grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around. He barely took notice of the smile the shorter girl had before bending down and bringing his lips to hers, fiercely kissing her for all he was worth. Time lost meaning in the embrace as Shampoo-kun remained virtually motionless for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually even he had to break off the kiss.

Ranma-chan looked at him with a smile on her lips, giving a sound of satisfaction as she gazed coyly at the boy. "See, you do like it when you're a guy. Now don't you feel better?"

A feral snarl was the response Shampoo-kun gave as he ripped open the girl's top and buried his head between her breasts. From his position Shampoo-kun could hear Ranma-chan moaning. "I guess you do. That's better. Much better. Just let go and give in to the feeling. Show me what you're really made of." Anything else was lost as Shampoo-kun continued to do just as Ranma-chan suggested, giving way to his 'feelings' in every way he could.

It was much later when Shampoo awakened from the dream.

It was still the very early morning when she awakened, staring at the ceiling while sighing. She had had plenty of dreams about Ranma. In fact, that was what she had dreamed about the most, outside of nightmares about the curse, and those had dwindled to almost nothing. In most of the dreams Ranma was a boy, but every now and then Ranma would be in his cursed form with Shampoo; a surprise at first that actually became enjoyable as time went on. But tonight had been the first time that she ever had that sort of a dream while being male herself. Just one more piece of her femininity being chipped away. And the worst thing was, she didn't have enough emotions to feel saddened about it. It almost seemed natural, as though that was the way things should be.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 26

Girl Problems

C+C always appreciated.  
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a beautiful home at:

or you can email me direct for anything at sommer

Standard disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 charaters. There are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights too. Other characters are owned by someone else.

An alternate universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the beginning, the Saotome's traveled to Jusenkyou and began sparring, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and swim in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= make Shampoo. Enjoy.) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and was accidentily married to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. Over the ensuing months many friend and enemies were made. Most recently it was revealed that Shampoo killed Katsunishiki, Akari Unryuu's pet pig. This caused the pig farmer to seek revenge by immersing herself in the Spring of Drowned Sumo Razorback and try to trample Shampoo. Kunou got his hands on a book of advanced Jurai sword techniques Tarou threatened Nabiki. Mousse recovered from his beating in a major battle with Shampoo. Ryouga and Ranma got in a fight over Ukyou, and Kasumi and Shampoo spent some quality time on a little vacation the two of the took at a hot spring. Now things are about to pick up again...

Indicates Chinese

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Shige scowled at the rest of his fellow kendoists as they sat in their proper lines, waiting for their captain to say something. Why Kunou had summoned them all on a Saturday was beyond his ability to fathom.

Shige examined their leader once more. He would have liked to have said there was something different about their captain today. A slightly different tilt to the chin, or perhaps some glint of mischievousness in the eyes. Something that would make him appear different. But the fact of the matter was Kunou looked as haughty and arrogant as ever. How annoying.

If Kunou had not been head and tail better than everyone else there was no way he'd have been accepted as their leader. Regardless of what everyone outside of the club thought, they were not composed of little else than Kunou clones that worshipped the ground he walked on (save perhaps for Masahiro, who was more than a little bizarre by anyone's standards). On the contrary, most members went through varying degrees of annoyance to outright hatred of their leader. But there was one thing all the members did acknowledge, one feeling they all shared. They wanted to be better kendoists and Kunou was the quickest way to become that. Above all other things, save for his obsession with Akane and Shampoo, he was a swordsman first and foremost. and the Furinkan Club was openly acknowledged as the best there was by everyone. Kunou was directly responsible for that.

Kunou decided he had allowed his subordinates to simmer long enough. It was time to find out if all of his training was for naught, or if he had at long last achieved the next step on his way to becoming a living legend in the art. He allowed the lesser men to bask in his image one last moment before giving his instructions. "I want all of you to attack me."

The kendoists responded with a surprising enthusiasm, lining up in a single file. Kunou shook his head at the display before him. "No, simpletons! I wish you to attack me all at once."

Everyone was surprised at that declaration. Kunou was good, but the most he had been able to defeat at the same time was six, and he had suffered several severe blows in the process. The men milled about in confusion, trying to figure out what was really going on.

Even Kunou realized something else was going to be required to focus his men's attention on the matter on hand. "Whoever manages to best me shall be the leader of the club and I will openly acknowledge him as the next 'Blue Thunder'."

Kunou never realized just how fast his fellow club members were as they had him in a 'circle of death' within the blink of an eye. Slowly he brought his bokken before him, preparing one of the techniques he had practiced so very often in the last few weeks. He slowly spun around in a circle, gauging the determination in each of his opponents' eyes. Each one of them displayed the barely restrained desire of a shark smelling blood in the water. That was just as it should be. Only the hungry could achieve greatness.

Shige was the first one to attack.

It was a testament to the abilities of the club that they managed to last almost a full minute before the final youth hit the wooden floor of the gym, unconscious. Kunou, looked over the scene of carnage, then saluted his fallen teammates before holding his bokken high overhead in victory. If only there were someone other than the gods watching down upon him as he basked in his victory. But at least there would be more than enough adulation directed towards him on the next morn, when the 'new and improved' Blue Thunder would unveil himself before the student body and the world at large.

Ranma-chan was not having a good day as she wandered aimlessly around downtown Nerima. The little old lady had somehow managed to nail her again, and the redhead had been certain she was not even walking on the street that the old bag lived on. If only she wasn't so old Ranma-chan would do something to convince her that throwing water blindly out into the streets was not the thing to do.

There was little point in crying over spilt milk (water). At least the weather was still very hot, drying out her soaking outfit quickly. Wearing wet clothing was never any fun, especially the reaction guys had as they stared at her chest, the bunch of perverts. Several experiences of a dozen or so guys hitting on her whenever that happened made avoiding wearing white shirts an easy choice. It wasn't her fault she never wore a bra, and never would. She was a manly man and would never make that concession no matter how often she got splashed with water.

The slow anger that had been building up was quickly released. There was nothing to be gained in being mad at the injustices the world leveled at her. Life was like martial arts, when you got hit you rolled with the blow and got back on your feet, ready to take another punch. Too bad she seemed to get hit so often.

As Ranma-chan started to feel like her usual, confident self, she happened to glance upward at one of the partially constructed skyscrapers that was being built in the area. That was a familiar sight. Ranma-chan had spotted it some time ago and had enticed Shampoo to come out with her in the dead of night and use it to train. The structure was an ideal place to practice deceptively delicate balancing exercises that were done by playing games of tag amongst the girders. Gods but it was the most fun she had in ages. The duo would leap from girder to girder in an effort to either touch or avoid being touched by 'it'. The first time they had gone up they had spent close to two hours frolicking like little children, sticking tongues out at one another as they switched between hunting or taunting one another in an effort to goad the other one to try all the harder to catch him or her.

Ranma-chan had considered taking Akane along that first night but hesitated. As good as Akane's balance was, and Ranma-chan would admit it had improved a great deal, she still felt a little uneasy with the risk involved. All it would take was one misstep and if Ranma-chan wasn't close enough to catch her everything would end in a splat. But for some odd reason those same reservations did not apply to Shampoo.

The redhead kicked a stone as she tried figuring out exactly why that was. Of course there were differences between the two girls, but he still felt the need to protect both of them, and yet Shampoo was different. Why? True, their 'discussion' on the ship, the TWPOS, had forced Ranma-chan to openly admit she would treat Shampoo as an equal, but that was said mostly just to placate the Amazon. Wasn't it? She didn't think that was a consideration when she had asked Shampoo to play on the half completed steel structure. No, Ranma-chan had invited Shampoo because it was fun, and because he trusted the Amazon to take care of herself. Without the concern of Shampoo falling to her death Ranma-chan could have even more fun. Maybe the difference between the two was trust.

More thoughts along those lines were lost as the redhead noticed a crane shifting a group of I-beams suddenly give out a loud groan of strained metal. The cargo stopped in mid-motion as the crane huge arm began to sag down and out over the street. At first Ranma-chan was glad that she wasn't anywhere near enough to have those beams fall and hit her, but a quick estimation of where they would land caused her heart to seize up in her chest. An older woman with a baby carriage was directly under where the beams would land. Worse, the woman seemed to be unaware of her predicament as she seemed to be calming the child, who appeared to be crying.

Ranma-chan was in motion in the blink of an eye. She shouted out to the woman even as she ran for all she was worth, hoping the lady would get out of the path of danger before Ranma-chan would get there. The woman heard the younger girl and did nothing more than stare confusedly at her. Full concentration fell upon the child and woman as Ranma-chan heard rather than saw the cable supporting the load of metal snap even as she reached the side of the duo. Literally moving as though all three of their lives depended on it, she told the woman to hold tightly onto the child as she grabbed the woman and tucked her under the arm and leaped out of the way.

Ranma-chan landed just as the series of I-beams hit the ground behind her. There was an involuntarily cringe at the loud roar of metal as it shattered concrete and sent pieces of the rock flying in all directions. She looked over her shoulder, leaving the woman and child under her arm as she stared at the pile of metal that had impacted and destroyed the sidewalk where all three had been just over a second ago. It had been that close. Ranma-chan doubted even the massive Lime could have survived the impact of that much metal from such a height. She noticed that a single girder remained standing straight up, almost as if the mass of metal were giving her the finger for preventing the woman and child from being smashed flat.

Ranma-chan set the woman down in front of her and gave a quick visual examination. Thankfully, both the woman and child appeared unharmed, though shaken from the experience.

After a few moments the woman recovered enough to bow before Ranma-chan. "Thank you, young lady. If it wasn't for you my son and I would have been-" her voice caught as she visualized what had nearly happened.

Ranma-chan blushed at the compliment and looked down at the ground as she spoke. "It was nothing ma'am. I'd have..." her voice trailed off as she looked up to see the woman gaping at something behind the redhead. Ranma-chan had no chance to react before the single I-beam, which had been pointing upward, suddenly came crashing down and landed hard on her, striking the back of her head first before the weight pinned her to the ground.

Within moments several construction workers and bystanders helped lift the metal girder off of the pinned girl. It took several moments for Ranma-chan to return to her feet, obviously out of it as she staggered back and forth as though drunk.

"Are you all right?" the woman who Ranma-chan had rescued asked.

With a final shake of her head the young martial artist cleared it of her cobwebs and looked kindly at the woman. "Thank you for your concern. I feel fine. Really. It was nothing more than a slight blow."

The woman thanked Ranma-chan once again before departing. It was rare that such a fine young woman would risk herself like that. And she had been so worried that the girl had been hurt when the girder fell on her. It was a relief that there was no injury, although there was some almost imperceptible quality about the short girl that seemed different, and it was after she had been struck. Still, it could simply have been the woman's imagination. She had been through quite an ordeal after all.

Ranma-chan hummed through the streets as she considered what a nice day it was. If only the birds were out then she could really enjoy the weather. It was not long into her walk before she began idly fingering her shirt in a disdainful way. Things just seemed to come into focus as it occurred to her that it was the same drab red she wore almost every day. There just wasn't anything she owned that seemed to be worth wearing anymore, save that delightful little shirt Shampoo had sown for her. What was needed was new clothing, and lots of it. She hadn't been shopping for herself in what seemed like an eternity and now was the perfect opportunity. Of course, there was one thing that was missing: a second opinion. As she was pondering how to solve that particular problem the answer appeared before her.

"Ranma!" Ryouga shouted as his aimless wandering brought him into Ranma-chan's line of sight. "I still want revenge for what you did to Ukyou the other day! It was all your fault! Now prepare to dAGHK!" His battle cry was cut off as Ranma-chan giggled and snatched him by the arm, dragging the lost one behind her as she hurriedly ran off at top speed with him in tow.

"What are you doing, Ranma?!" Ryouga shouted as the redhead continued running with him in tow, as though there were no tomorrow.

"I just need your opinion on some new clothes I'm going to buy," Ranma-chan exclaimed as she flew past several shops, never relinquishing her hold on Ryouga. After passing by several clothing stores she paused in front of what she considered the perfect one. "It's pretty," she cooed.

Ryouga finally got a chance to reorient himself enough to look at the store and gape in open disbelief at where the girl had chosen to stop. "That's a women's clothing store, Ranma." And for some reason Ryouga could not fathom, Ranma-chan was making a big production out of the dress that was on display in the window.

"Of course it is, silly," she giggled and grabbed him by the arm once more, dragging him into the store.

Once inside Ryouga finally managed to brace himself and snatched his arm out of Ranma-chan's. "What game are you playing at? Why did you haul me in here? Is this some sort of plan to trick someone out of something you want by wearing a dress?"

"No," Ranma-chan said. "It's nothing like that. I just need some new clothes to wear. Everything I have is so dull. I need some vigor and life in my clothing." She paused to examine Ryouga more closely. "Your wardrobe could use some work too. You could use something besides all those yellow and black numbers. And we should do something about those leg bindings you wear all the time."

"What's wrong with my clothing?" Ryouga fingered his shirt as Ranma-chan tsked before him. He thought it was perfectly fine. Owning nothing but the same style of shirt and pants made things easier. It saved on having to make the difficult decision of what to wear in the morning. Besides, he liked yellow and black.

Ranma-chan shook her head sadly. "You need something to show off that vibrancy and love of life that I know is locked within you. But that's for later. Right now I have to pick out some clothes."

A matronly salesperson made her way over to the couple. "Can I help you?" She directed her question to Ranma-chan while seeming to ignore Ryouga's presence.

"Yes. I would like to see that dress in the window. And try on some other things as well," Ranma-chan informed the woman.

She smiled at the anticipated sale. "Of course, dear. Let me get that for you and show you to the fitting rooms."

It took but a moment for the woman to grab the dress and instruct Ranma-chan to follow her. The redhead started to accompany the saleswoman when she realized Ryouga was going from simply standing around in confusion to wandering off.

"Oh no you don't!" She snared Ryouga by the arm and led him next to the saleswoman. "My..." she paused, blushing with the next word. "...friend here has a bad tendency to wander off. Would you be kind enough to keep an eye on him to make sure he sticks around?"

The woman gave a knowing wink. "I understand. Men do have a tendency to drift away when we women are shopping for clothing."

The two females exchanged knowing giggles, much to Ryouga's worry. He noticed Ranma-chan grab something else off the rack before heading into the fitting room, leaving Ryouga with the saleswoman.

After a few moments the woman spoke up. "You two make a cute couple."

That was the most disgusting thing he had ever heard. "We are not a couple!" Ryouga snapped. "We don't even get along with one another." Ranma was really going to pay for dragging him into this situation.

"Young couples always have problems," the saleswoman reassured him. "But don't worry about it. I saw the way she looked at you."

That left Ryouga confused. "What way was that?"

"It was obvious. She's in love with you."

Ryouga facefaulted. Upon recovering he began shouting. "Don't be absurd! There's no way he's in love with me! Ranma's really a-"

The rest of his tirade was cut off as Ranma-chan poked her head out of the dressing room while leaving everything else covered with the curtain that separated the fitting room from the rest of the store. "Ryouga," she chimed. "Would you come over here for a moment?"

Ryouga stomped on over, fed up with the misunderstanding and being in one of the last places in the world a guy like him should be. "What?!"

"I want your opinion on how I look in this." And with that she opened the curtain and allowed Ryouga to fully take in her form.

She was dressed in a skimpy, lacy red bra with matching red panties, and nothing else. The clothing had the predictable effect of causing a nosebleed and making Ryouga's hair stand straight up in the air. He barely managed to recover before passing out and turned, covering his eyes.

"RANMA!" he shouted. "You're wearing women's lingerie!"

"Of course," Ranma-chan stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I can't just run around without wearing a bra. People might think I'm a tramp or something."

Ryouga's mind rebelled at even trying to figure out what Ranma-chan was up to. He simply remained silent and preyed Ranma would stop playing games with him.

"How do I look?" Ranma-chan continued.

Ryouga gave up. The sooner Ranma-chan won whatever game it was, the sooner he could get out. "I guess you look fine. Can we go?"

Much to his horror he felt Ranma-chan grasp him from behind and press tightly into his back.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou," she blurted out, then released him. "Just wait there. I have one more thing I want to show you."

Ryouga took a chance to look over his shoulder to see Ranma-chan had darted back inside the fitting room. Deciding it was his best chance to get away, he went to leave when the saleswoman blocked his path.

"Now do you understand?" she asked. "No woman that wasn't in love would display herself like that."

"Lady," He said sadly. "You have no idea what Ranma's like. He's capable of anything."

"You mean you don't like her?"

Ryouga nodded his head.

"What are you, gay?" she asked.

"I AM NOT GAY!" Ryouga shouted. "And what kind of question is that anyway?"

"Relax," the woman tried soothing Ryouga's temper. "I have nothing against homosexuals. It's just that she's very beautiful, seems to be very caring, and happens to be in love with you. I just jumped to the wrong conclusion. Sorry." she bowed deeply in apology.

"Believe me. Ranma does not love me." Any further explanations were interrupted by Ranma-chan once again making her presence known by calling out to Ryouga. He turned to see the redhead in the dress that had been in the store window. It was a white frilly thing that showed a good amount of cleavage. Cleavage she thrust in the direction of Ryouga's face.

"How do I look now?" she asked as she jiggled in his direction.

Ryouga shook his head and turned away once again. "What are you doing in that?!" He was about to continue when he heard a sniffle. Silently he told himself it just could not be what it sounded like. Daring to turn around he saw that it really was Ranma-chan who was producing the sniffling. Even worse, it appeared she was about to cry.

"Y...you mean you don't like it?" She was barely able to contain her tears.

If there was one thing in common that Ryouga and Ranma shared, besides being good martial artists, it was that neither could stand to see a woman cry. In that respect Ryouga might even have been worse than Ranma. And seeing the redhead before him, Ranma or not, he began to feel like dirt.

The saleswoman elbowed him in the ribs. "Say something to make her feel better," she whispered in his ear.

"R...Ranma," He at last got out. "You look nice."

The reaction was almost instantaneous. Ranma-chan's tears dried up and she gained a huge smile on her face. "You mean that?"

"Yes. I do," Ryouga replied. "Can we go now?"

"Yes!" Ranma-chan jumped up and down in joy. "Just let me pay for these things and we can leave."

Ranma-chan did as she promised and the duo left the store together. They hadn't made it more than halfway down the block when Ranma-chan attached herself to Ryouga's arm.

"What are you doing?" Ryouga asked in shock. Whatever the joke was it had gone too far.

"Ryouga. I was just wondering. Do you think Ukyou and Kyoko appreciate you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He silently wondered if this was some convoluted plan to ruin his life again. It had to be. It was the only thing that made sense.

"What I'm trying to say is, I don't think they treat you the way you deserve," she explained, then started running a finger playfully along his chest. "I think I could do a much better job, if you let me."

She gave him a seductive wink as she finished the proposition, which was more than enough to terrify Ryouga like nothing ever had before. He used all his muscle to break free of Ranma-chan's grasp and ran off horrified. He silently considered that if all of that had been some plan of Ranma-chan's to scare the hell out of him and make him run away, it had worked to perfection. Ranma-chan was going to be allowed to live until she started acting like normal. No matter how long it took.

Ranma-chan returned to the Tendo household more than a little disheartened. Ryouga was so confusing some times that it was really frustrating. It was like the lost one didn't really know what he wanted. Or if he did he would invariably take a course of action that was least likely to give it to him. Maybe he was just bad news and should be avoided.

Upon entering Ranma-chan went upstairs to change back into normal housewear. The dress was just so nice that it had to be saved for a special occasion, not for everyday wear. As she returned to the main part of the house she saw Akane had returned from visiting Malia, who was in the hospital recovering from an appendectomy.

"Hello, Akane," Ranma-chan greeted as pleasantly as she could. "Would you like to go out on the back porch and enjoy some watermelon with me?"

Akane was more than a little surprised at the gesture. Ranma-chan was usually never that polite or kind, save on the rarest of occasions. Still, it was hardly an offer she could refuse. And on the offhand chance Ranma-chan was just softening her up before dropping some kind of bombshell, the redhead would find out how much Akane disliked being led on.

Ranma-chan was indeed being extra polite as she insisted that Akane sit out back first while she grabbed all the food. Ranma-chan returned within moments, smiling the entire way.

"Thanks for sitting out back with me. I don't want to enjoy this day alone." Ranma-chan said as she bit down into a piece of the watermelon. Akane took notice that the shorter girl was taking the time to savor the bite as opposed to wolfing it down like she usually did.

Her notice went from casual interest to concern. "Is something bothering you, Ranma?"

"No," the girl replied. "But thank you for asking. Is there anything troubling you?"

Akane shook her head and smiled in return. This was a side of Ranma-chan that rarely came to the forefront. Her usual course language and manners were being replaced with perfectly civilized behavior, and the best part was that none of it appeared strained. Akane was almost certain she would see through one of the redhead's acts. She hadn't spent so much time in Ranma-chan's company that she couldn't pick up on her fiance's more obvious ploys and moods. In fact, she was fairly confident that she could read Ranma-chan's emotions close to three quarters of the time. Well, when the shorter girl didn't do something to anger Akane, which always ended up clouding the youngest Tendo's judgment. But those actions were unmistakably becoming, at least slightly, less as time went on. Akane had to grin as she came to realize that her fiancé had indeed been saying the wrong thing less and less. Maybe he was finally starting to learn some manners.

"What are you smiling about?" Ranma-chan asked innocently.

Akane snapped out of her reverie. It was probably best that she not give the whole truth, Ranma-chan might get offended if accused of foot in mouth disease. "I'm just happy that you invited me to eat with you." That was the truth, and it was plenty of reason to smile.

Saotome gained a smile of her own. "It's always better to have a friend at your side."

Akane's mouth nearly hit the floor in surprise. It was nothing short of amazement that her fiancé would actually say such words without being prodded or cajoled into speaking them. Yes, if someone had asked her point blank Akane would have said she believed she was Ranma-chan's friend, and that the redhead felt the same way. But to hear those words slide so easily from the girl's mouth was a total shock.

"You should really chew with your mouth closed," Ranma-chan advised to her gaping companion.

Akane shut her mouth and calmed down. To have her Ranma-chan being so open was uplifting to say the least.

The silence between the two of them lingered for a little while before Ranma-chan spoke once more. "Have you ever considered wearing a little more make-up?"

Akane's good mood was shattered in an instant as Ranma-chan's mouth once again had to mess everything up. "So you think I'm ugly, is that it?!"

The redhead held her hands up defensively. "Not at all. I just think it would make you look cuter than you already are."

For the second time in less than ten minutes Akane was once again caught totally off guard. Ranma-chan had just used the word 'cute' without an 'un' before it when describing her.

"Is something wrong with your jaw?" Ranma-chan asked, concern obviously written on her face. "It keeps hanging open, and it's so far down it looks like you should be in a lot of pain."

Akane recovered enough to shut it once again. "I'm fine," she replied meekly. "Did you just call me cute?" It wasn't too late for it all to be revealed as some massive hallucination brought on by sampling some of her own cooking.

"Of course, why do you think all those boys were after you when I first arrived here," Ranma-chan happily explained. "I just think if you would apply a little more make-up, and maybe curl your hair a little, you would go from simply being cute to beautiful."

Akane nearly passed out. It was all some kind of dream. That was the only explanation. Either that or Ranma-chan just had a personality transplant.

Ranma-chan lay back on the wooden flooring of the porch as she took in a deep breath of air. "It feels so good to just have the wind blowing over you when the weather is perfect like today."

Akane couldn't help smiling as she gazed upon the prone figure. Her fiancé had not just called her cute, but said she could be beautiful. BEAUTIFUL! It was unbelievable. Ranma-chan never said anything remotely like that. Never. Akane hadn't felt this happy in a very long time. She took her gaze from Ranma-chan and looked out into the yard. The redhead was right. The day was beautiful, and Akane couldn't help feeling that somehow, in some way, Ranma-chan had made it just perfect with one word. The feeling was just so alien to her. She had literally never felt that way before, about anything or anyone. And it felt so...indescribable.

"You know," Akane began to look towards her fiancé, then hesitated. It was difficult to talk if she looked directly at the girl since words were failing her. The only way she seemed to be able to talk coherently was if she looked away, so she chose to gaze out at the yard while continuing. "I've been thinking a lot about the way things have been going lately. We've been through a lot together. An awful lot. Some of it good, and some of it bad. But if it was a choice between not going through it and not meeting you, or the way things have turned out now. I would pick having you around every time."

"Thanks, Akane." Ranma-chan smiled at the compliment. "I feel the same way."

He didn't make a joke or play it off. Ranma-chan was actually listening to what she was saying and taking it seriously. It was too good an opportunity to pass up. For some odd reason she felt like continuing, though she had to keep looking away from her fiancé and out towards the yard. It did not really matter though. The words were what was important, not the physical appearance of one another.

"I know we sort of had this engagement thing forced upon us, and neither of us want it. And sometimes maybe I make a big deal out of it and act sort of angry occasionally." Akane realized she was beginning to ramble and tried concentrating on what she wanted to say. "And I might not make it easy for us to deal with the way our fathers act because sometimes I blame you instead of them. But as many times as you've said you don't like it either, the whole situation could be a lot worse. I mean, you've never tried taking advantage of me or the fact we're engaged, not that I'd let you," she quickly added.

"Believe me," Ranma-chan said. "You don't have to worry about that sort of thing from me now."

Akane played with her fingers, not daring to look at Ranma-chan. No comments about how he wouldn't hit on an uncute tomboy. The day was getting better and better. She gulped as she continued. "So even though I sometimes say I can't stand you, I don't always mean it the way it sounds. I mean you really do drive me up the wall a lot of the time, but not always. And I do want you to realize that, even if I don't always mention it, I kind of do appreciate having you around. And every now and then you do nice things for me, and maybe I don't always act like I enjoy it, but I do."

Damn! She was rambling and nearly incoherent again, but it was so difficult to say such things, and it was not like she rehearsed them or anything. Akane overheard Shampoo-kun announce he had returned before giving total concentration to her thoughts once more, continuing to gaze towards the yard and intentionally avoiding looking at Ranma-chan.

"And there's something else I want to mention. Maybe sometimes I push my cooking on you, but it's only because I want to help everyone, and I want to help you. I know sometimes what I cook isn't good, sometimes, but I'm not trying to poison you. I just want to share things with you. And maybe, just maybe, sometimes I overreact to things every now and then. I'm not saying I do it often, and like I said, you really say some rotten things occasionally, but sometimes you don't and I overreact because I misinterpret a situation or misunderstand something you say. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I'm kind of sorry for losing my temp..." She trailed off as she at last turned to look the redhead in the eye as she apologized for her occasionally somewhat overreacting behavior.

Ranma-chan was nowhere to be seen.

Akane had been opening up her heart and feelings to the jerk and he just ran off in the middle of her big speech. She immediately took back the apology, despite no one being around. Her fiancé was the biggest jerk she had ever known. And the next time she ran into him she would let him know. Oh would he ever.

Ranma-chan had run off not because she was bored with Akane, but there were some things she was going to have to inform everyone about the engagement that were going to have to change. And it seemed that Akane was talking about things that were not going to mesh well with what Ranma-chan was going to have to reveal. The redhead was trying to figure out exactly how to tell her fiancee when something else even more important came up.

Shampoo-kun had returned.

Ranma-chan leaped to her feet and ran as fast as the wind to see the Amazon come to the door. Shampoo-kun was already taking off his shoes when he saw Ranma-chan speed up to him in the doorway.

"How did your little trip go? Did you find what you needed?" Ranma-chan asked.

Shampoo-kun shook his head. "It nothing special. Just some things Kasumi wanted."

"You are so generous and thoughtful. Tell me, are you planning on working out soon?"

Shampoo-kun nodded his head. Ranma-chan was paying an unusual amount of attention to him, perhaps to make up for the lack of attention the Amazon had been returning. It just felt so awkward since the little weekend vacation. But it was time to fight through the awkwardness and press on. "Yes. You want to spar too?" That was like asking Kunou if he felt like reciting a few lines of poetry. Ranma-chan could never refuse an opportunity to spar.

Until now.

"No thanks," she replied evasively. "I don't feel like it today. Why don't you spar with Akane and Pop?"

"Is you okay?" Shampoo-kun asked, suspecting Ranma-chan was suffering from some kind of injury.

"Oh yes," Ranma-chan replied, then seemed to blush red. "Thank you for asking. I'll see you in a little while." And with that she ran off into the interior of the house.

Shampoo-kun was left there, standing absolutely still. Something was different about Ranma-chan. Something different about the way she walked and talked, but the Amazon was damned if he could figure out what it was. Shrugging his shoulders he went inside to grab some hot water and get into a gi to start sparring.

Akane was enthusiastic about the chance to release some of her pent up frustrations and spar. She had originally intended to hunt down Ranma-chan and confront the shorter girl about the abandonment, but had not made it three steps from the back porch when her anger started to dissipate, and within three more steps at was almost entirely gone. And Akane knew exactly why.

"...you would go from simply being cute to beautiful."

Those words still burned in her mind despite Ranma-chan's abandonment. Somehow, they made the anger just drift away. But there was still a need to work out and release the excess energy she seemed to have, and sparring was the best way to go about it. Aside from that, she had not had the opportunity to really show Shampoo what she had learned from Tarou yet. It was going to be good to cut loose.

Shampoo had changed both clothes and sexes in time to see everyone gather around the backyard for the sparring match. Akane was already present, and even Nabiki was there, drinking a glass of lemonade as she sat idly by and read a book. The two fathers were taking the match seriously and were standing on opposite sides of the pond to judge just how good the fighters appeared. Kasumi and Ranma-chan stood around waiting for someone, evidently Shampoo.

Ranma-chan greeted her and approached bearing a glass of water in hand. As she was almost to Shampoo she seemed to trip over something and tilted the glass forward, spilling its contents over Shampoo and triggering the change.

Ranma-chan's hands immediately went to her face in shame. "I'm so sorry! Let me clean that up." She grabbed a towel and started dabbing at Shampoo-kun's shirt. As she continued dabbing, her motions became lower and lower.

"I not wet down there," Shampoo-kun informed his new towel girl.

"Sorry," Ranma-chan said as she blushed and ceased her cleaning attempts. "I just wanted to make sure you were dry."

"Thanks," Shampoo-kun said before turning to Kasumi. "Could you get me hot water?"

"Certainly." She moved over to the kitchen to fetch the water even as Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun went out back, the redhead choosing to sit in the same spot on the porch as she had earlier in the day. Shampoo-kun waited patiently for Kasumi to return. The eldest Tendo daughter returned with nothing more than a look of disappointment upon her face.

"The kettle wasn't on the stove," she informed everyone. "And I could have sworn I had placed it on there. At any rate, I have another one going right now. It will take a while to heat up though."

"No worry about it," Shampoo-kun reassured the girl. The response of Kasumi's smile ran a series of conflicting emotions through the Amazon. There was no time to think about that as he was about to practice with Akane, who appeared more than a little eager to begin the session today. That sat fine with Shampoo-kun. A tough workout would clear his mind of the new set of complications that had crept up in his life.

Kasumi sat down next to Ranma-chan as the fight began. The two fathers watched the battle closely while Nabiki looked on with disinterest.

Ranma-chan gave a sigh as the match began. "Shampoo certainly looks handsome today."

Kasumi nodded in agreement. "Look at the way the sun glances off his flaxen hair."

"Oh yes," Ranma-chan agreed, then pointed at his gi, which was open just enough to show off his chest. "And the way his chest just seems to call out for attention."

"Oh, I agree wholeheartedly," Kasumi said. "And his legs are nice looking, especially his calves."

"His butt sure is cute too." Ranma-chan began giggling, only to be sprayed in the face by Nabiki, who was nearly choking to death on the drink she had just swallowed.

"Are you all right?" Kasumi asked of her sister.

"Wrong...pipe," Nabiki managed to choke out before recovering and moving closer to the two girls who went back to watching the fight, and, more specifically, Shampoo-kun

"And that face. So dreamy." Ranma-chan gave yet another sigh as she wiped her face dry.

Kasumi nodded once again. "I think his eyes are his most outstanding feature there."

"I like his smile, myself," Ranma-chan said. "As well as those broad shoulders."

Kasumi sighed herself, then said. "And that cute little mole he has on the inside of his thigh, right next to his...oh my! I forgot about the laundry." And with that Kasumi stood up to head to the washer.

Nabiki almost let her sister get out of sight before she realized where the girl had left off. "Wait a minute! Where is that mole located?" As she heaved herself to her feet in order to stop her sister, she felt something land on her head.

"What the hell?" She managed to get out even as the family's flying pet bent its head downward to look in its makeshift landing pad's eyes.

"AHHHHH! GET IT OFF!" Nabiki roared. That had the effect of Birdy trying to take off, pulling at Nabiki's hair with its feet.

"Nabiki!" Kasumi shouted.

Nabiki stopped struggling as Birdy released his hold and flew around to perch gently on Kasumi's shoulder.

Kasumi gave a hurt look to her sister. "I know you don't like Birdy, but please don't attack him."

"WHAT?!" she shouted out in shock. "I didn't attack him! He attacked me!"

"He would never do anything like that," she said, then turned to the pterodactyl. "would you?"

Birdy shook his head no.

Nabiki looked on in shock. "Don't tell me you believe him over me?"

Kasumi looked almost depressed. "I know you never liked pets, especially my poor little hamster..."

Nabiki placed her hands over her ears as Kasumi gave the same speech she had so long ago about her pet hamster. Whoever said Kasumi wasn't capable of unleashing a guilt trip on someone was dead wrong. She had laid the old hamster story on Nabiki at least four times over the years. It was not Nabiki's fault she was allergic to the repulsive little rodents. But still, somehow, Kasumi made her feel guilty about something that was totally out of her control.

"I give up, Sis. I won't harass Birdy anymore."

That seemed to placate Kasumi as she turned to leave with Birdy still hanging on to her shoulder. The pterodactyl turned around from its perch and stuck out its tongue at Nabiki. The facial twitch that developed on the middle Tendo was all the response that needed to tell everyone what she thought of that.

In the meantime the sparring session had ended, Akane losing once again, but putting in a good showing. She left in disappointment for her room while Shampoo-kun started to drift off to his own chamber. Ranma-chan barely got there in time to intercept him.

"Nice fight."

"Thank you," Shampoo-kun said. Praise from Ranma-chan and her expertise was always appreciated.

"You look tense," Ranma-chan commented. "Allow me to help you unwind."

"What you mean?" The Amazon looked curiously at the smaller girl. He had been around her long enough to know Ranma-chan was up to something.

"Come into my room and I'll show you." She practically carried Shampoo-kun as she snared his arm, even as she had done to Ryouga earlier in the day, and took him to her room. Once inside she shut the door and made him lie on his stomach on the floor.

"A massage is just what you need to help you unwind," Ranma-chan informed the youth.

"You no have to do that."

Ranma-chan would have none of that. "It'll be just like at the beach," she said as she straddled Shampoo-kun's back. "You did it for me, now I'll do it for you."

Shampoo-kun assented to the treatment. Too bad she wasn't a girl so she could enjoy it that way. Ranma-chan quickly showed great skill at working out the tightness in Shampoo-kun's muscles as she kneaded the Amazon's flesh. They made idle conversation, Shampoo-kun taking note of the odd way Ranma-chan was speaking. If he didn't know better, he would have assumed the redhead was acting much more feminine than usual, which was foolish. Ranma-chan was proud of his manhood and would never act that way. It probably had something to do with the Amazon's current mental state.

"Your muscles are so big and hard," Ranma-chan said softly.

"Of course," Shampoo-kun sniffed. "I a powerful Amazon warrior. I not weak."

"No. You definitely are not that," Ranma-chan agreed, voice remaining soft.

There was a comfortable silence between them, only Shampoo-kun's sounds of pleasure from the redhead's attention breaking silence. Eventually Ranma-chan spoke up once more. "Shampoo," Ranma-chan began nervously, "Are you seeing someone?"

Shampoo-kun went as stiff as a board. "W...what you mean?"

"I just want to know if you have a significant other in your life." The redhead stopped her ministrations as she waited for the answer.

His answer came out somewhat slowly. "Ah, no. Not really. Not the way you mean." He silently wondered what Ranma-chan was up to. She never asked questions like that. And there was the manner she asked them in as well. She still sounded awfully feminine to Shampoo-kun's ears. But the girl's concern was definitely eliciting a response within the Amazon as he felt his pulse quicken slightly.

"That's good," Ranma-chan sighed, then continued in her actions, pausing after a few minutes. "Your gi is in the way," Ranma-chan informed her 'customer,' then began pulling back on the upper part of it to free Shampoo-kun's arms and peel the top back. Shampoo-kun lay back down and prepared for another round of Saotome's firm yet gentle touch.

"What are all these scratches on your back?" Ranma-chan asked as she saw a series of partially healed marks on the back.

Shampoo-kun stiffened once again. "I fall down a hill while on vacation," Shampoo-kun said calmly. "It from the bushes I fall into, but no need to worry. I just get scratched a little bit."

"Then why are they all in sets of four?" Ranma-chan asked.

"Odd coincidence." Shampoo-kun answered, then smacked his head. "I forget, I got class project due soon. Must get back to work. Bye-bye" Shampoo-kun practically knocked Ranma-chan on her bottom as he got out from under the redhead and made his way back to his room.

Ranma-chan took a brief note that Shampoo-kun had almost seemed scared. Perhaps he was afraid he had contracted a disease from his roll in the bushes and didn't want her to get it. Deciding to allow the Amazon to go, Ranma-chan went to find Kasumi. It took but a moment to discover that the eldest Tendo daughter had taken a break and was reading a magazine.

"Kasumi, I have a favor to ask you," Ranma-chan began.

"What is it?"

The redhead informed Kasumi of her desire.

"I don't think it'll be a problem at all, Ranma." Kasumi got up to retrieve what Saotome had asked for. "Akane has several extras, and I know she wouldn't miss one. I can have it ready for you by tomorrow. And it's good to see you're coming to terms with your curse."

Ranma-chan was too polite to correct the older girl. She wanted to get rid of her other form more than anything else in the world. It would just take time to figure out something.

The next morning Akane got up to the smell of breakfast emanating from the downstairs. Whatever it was it smelled good. Kasumi must have been experimenting with a new dish and judging by how hungry Akane felt, whatever it was would hit the spot. She would just have to watch out and not eat too much. A girl had to watch her weight after all.

As she went past her mirror she paused to take a close look at herself. She had never really considered curling her hair, but perhaps Ranma was right. She could curl the ends at least, and maybe add just a little more make up than usual. But not too much. She was never that big on make up, considering how much she would sweat when she worked out or defended herself. Too much make up would just end up ruining whatever affect she was going for.

She went downstairs to catch breakfast and then clean up before school. As she got to the bottom she almost ran into Shampoo who was heading for the table as well. Nabiki came into the hallway dressed in a towel, having hit the bath first. All three met at the same time as a figure emerged from the kitchen. All present were a bit surprised to see who had emerged bearing a skillet in hand.

"You made breakfast?" Nabiki asked as her eyebrow lifted itself quizzically.

"Yes," Ranma-chan answered. "I hope you like what I made. I got up extra early this morning to make a good meal for all of you when I found out the news."

"What news?" Akane asked.

"Kasumi was sick this morning."

*THUD*

All heads turned to see the sound was Shampoo's body hitting the floor. The girl was laid out prone and completely unconscious.

Ranma-chan was by her side in an instant, nearly in tears "What's wrong, Shampoo? Speak to me."

Any further questions were cut off as Shampoo's body was dragged from Ranma-chan's side and off to the Amazon's makeshift bedroom by Nabiki, who used the Amazon's ponytail as her handhold.

"Nabiki, what are you doing?" Ranma-chan asked as Akane simply stood there, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure Shampoo's all right. You guys have breakfast. I need to talk to her in private." And with that she entered the room and shut the door behind her. A loud splash was heard followed by the words. "You did do it, didn't you?!"

"You is crazy!" Everyone heard Shampoo-kun's voice shout back. "I just concerned about Kasumi and I been suffering from fainting spells! That all it was, Stupid Extortionist Girl!"

"Yeah, right!" was Nabiki's reply as both people continued their animated discussion.

Akane and Ranma-chan settled down as the two fathers came down for breakfast. All four remained at the table as the redhead began serving everyone.

"Here you go, Father." Ranma-chan made certain to give her father an extra generous helping.

"That's my boy." Genma said. "It's good to see you finally treating your old man with the respect he deserves."

"Of course, Father." Ranma-chan bowed. "It's the least I could do for someone that is so important in my life."

"I did notice you missed practice today. As much as I appreciate your making this delicious meal, you still shouldn't be skipping things as important as that. You simply have to find a way to do both."

Ranma-chan looked down to the floor, unable to meet her father's eyes. "About my working out, Father. You see I no longer want to-"

All else was cut off as an ugly figure glomped onto Ranma-chan's breasts. "SWEETO!" Happosai shouted. "It's been way too long since the last time I enjoyed this feel. And I know you missed it too."

After the initial shock, Ranma-chan did what now came naturally. "AAAAHHHHH!"

In less than two seconds Happosai was knocked off of the girl's chest and into the floor by Shampoo-kun.

"Stupid Pervert not know when to give up!" Shampoo-kun growled at Happosai's laid out body.

Shampoo-kun discovered a pair of arms that suddenly found themselves around his waist as Ranma-chan hugged him tightly. "Oh, Shampoo. You saved me," she cooed.

Everyone, even Shampoo-kun, stared on in shock at the reaction. Ranma-chan was enjoying her position until she felt the hard muscles of Shampoo-kun's chest become soft. She broke off her embrace to see Happosai had already recovered and grabbed the kettle of hot water, pouring the contents over Shampoo-kun's head to trigger the change.

"I've missed you too, Shampoo." And with that he buried himself between her breasts.

Shampoo tried unsuccessfully to pry off the offending pervert. Unfortunately the glomp was exceptionally powerful upon this occasion and he had no intention of letting go of the pillow he made of Shampoo's chest anytime soon. She was beginning to lose hope when she felt herself splashed with cold water.

"Awww!" Happosai pouted as he felt the breasts go away. "Why'd you do that?"

Ranma-chan looked over with her glass of water in hand. "It's not right for you to do that sort of thing to him, Grandfather."

"Well I want to snuggle her for a little while." He grabbed the hot water kettle and poured the contents over Shampoo, causing yet another change.

"Please stop that, Grandfather. He doesn't want you to do that." Ranma-chan poured a bucket of cold water over the now motionless Shampoo-kun, changing him again.

"I want to feel some Amazon cleavage today, damn it! Now quit interfering!" Happosai pulled out an even larger bucket of hot water and splashed Shampoo with it.

"No! I won't let you do that to him!" Ranma-chan pulled out a large barrel of cold water and poured it over Shampoo-kun.

"Yes!" A large barrel of hot water came from nowhere and ended up dumped over Shampoo.

"No!" This time Ranma-chan used a bathtub of cold water.

"Yes!" Happosai used a bathtub even bigger than Ranma-chan's.

"I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO DO THAT TO HIM!" Ranma-chan shouted at the top of her lungs while pointing her fist to the sky, a huge battle aura glowing. She then leaped over the wall surrounding the dojo and out of sight.

Everyone remained where they were, waiting for something to happen. No one moved for an untold amount of time, not even an attempted glomp by Happosai until, at last, everyone heard a rhythmic sound.

*THUMP*

*THUMP*

*THUMP*

The sounds grew louder as the source of the noise got closer and closer to the dojo. Everyone continued to remain motionless, no one having the courage to see what the source was. Eventually, the origin of the thunderous noise made its presence known.

Everyone's eyes bugged out as they saw a huge water tower, the kind from on top of large buildings and bearing thousands of gallons of cold water, appear above the surrounding wall. A part of the wall shattered as one of the metal struts that usually supported it broke through and allowed the person carrying it, Ranma-chan, to come into the yard. It was obvious from the strain that Ranma-chan was barely able to keep it up or balanced, as the tower swayed dangerously back and forth.

"You..."

A step.

"...won't..."

Another step.

"...touch..."

A third into the yard.

"...him."

At last Akane broke the aura of shock that permeated the occupants of the house. "Ranma! You can't possibly support all that weight!"

Ranma-chan thought about it then stopped moving forward.

"I wish you hadn't said that," she mumbled as the tower started to lean forward.

"NO!" Nabiki shouted. "If that falls over you'll-"

Too late, the tower came crashing down and all the water poured into the house, deluging it and all the occupants. Fortunately everyone managed to grab onto something solid and kept from being swept away until the flow passed.

"...flood the house," Nabiki finished as she spit out some water.

Happosai pulled himself from out of the makeshift barricade he had made out of Genma and Soun and walked over to Ranma-chan, a sad look on his face. "I understand now, Ranma."

"You do?" She responded.

"Yes," he nodded. "I do. You're jealous of the attention I've been lavishing on Shampoo. There's no need to fear." The familiar gleam entered his eyes. "I'll give all of my attention to you!" he declared and subsequently glomped onto her chest.

Ranma-chan's began to quake in paralyzed terror, unable to do anything. The hold didn't last long before Happosai found himself easily removed by a very powerful force.

A waterlogged Akane looked evilly at him. "THAT"S ENOUGH OUT OF YOU!" And with that punted him hard enough to send him somewhere near Hawaii.

Akane calmly turned her attention to the others. "Let's get ready to go to school. I've had more than enough excitement for one day." And left to go to her room. There was not going to be any attempt to make herself look more beautiful today. She would settle for not looking like a drowned rat.

Akane finished making herself presentable and headed to the front door, just waiting for something to go wrong. Nothing happened as she saw that Nabiki and Shampoo-kun were already there.

"Where's Ranma?" she asked as she joined the others. Happosai had already made them late and no more delays could be afforded.

"Here I am." A voice chimed in behind her. She turned to see Ranma-chan had appeared for school. There was only one slight change that separated her appearance from the usual mornings when they went to school.

Ranma-chan was wearing a girl's school uniform.

"How do I look?" she asked as everyone just stared on in confusion.

"Ranma," Akane began. "You're wearing a dress."

"Yes,' Ranma-chan agreed. "It's one of your old ones. Kasumi helped me loosen the chest and tighten the waist so it would fit me, but I think its presentable now."

Akane missed the slight against her figure. "You're wearing a dress," she repeated, still in shock.

"You already said that." Ranma-chan informed her. "Do you like it?"

"Yes, we do." Nabiki answered then grabbed Ranma-chan by the arm. "Shampoo wears the boys uniform and you wear the girls. Now everyone falls under the dress code and all we have to worry about is the principal trying to make us late so we have to clean out the toilets. So let's get going."

Shampoo-kun and Akane looked at each other, bewildered, then followed. Each knew something bizarre was up and that it was time to find out what it was.

As Shampoo-kun caught up to Ranma-chan the redhead moved closer to him. "You don't have to worry about Kasumi. I'm sure it's just that flu that's been going around."

"Yes," Shampoo-kun agreed. "You is probably right."

The quartet were not the only ones running late. Halfway to school they ran into Ukyou, Ryouga, Kyoko, and Ai, who were hurrying along as well. When Ryouga spotted Ranma-chan he backed up, getting as much distance as he could from the redhead. Ranma-chan gave him a soft smile which caused Ryouga to get even more nervous.

Ukyou and Kyoko picked up on Ryouga's reaction immediately. "What's wrong?" Ukyou asked first.

"N...nothing." Ryouga stammered then looked to the ground and started to drift a good distance away from the group. Both Ukyou and Kyoko sighed then grabbed him before he ended up in another district.

Everyone arrived at school to see that once again the entire student population had gathered in the front yard. At the forefront stood Kunou, standing in all of his self proclaimed majestic glory.

Nabiki ran away from the group and headed towards her new best informant, Ryonami. "What's going on?"

"Kunou made a really bold statement today and said he was going to take his loves away from the influence of 'The Foul Saotome.'"

"He always does that," Nabiki said, unimpressed.

"Today was different." Ryonami replied. "Everyone in his kendo club said he has some new technique which makes him invincible."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow at that. "This I want to see."

Kunou held his bokken high up into the sky. "The Diana of my hunt, the beauteous Akane Tendo. My red-haired Chinese Love Goddess, Shampoo. Today is the day I accept both of you in my arms."

"There's no time for this," Akane grumbled and rolled up her short sleeve. "I'll take care of him."

"No. Wait," Ranma-chan said. "Allow me."

Akane looked quizzically at Ranma-chan but allowed the shorter girl to go on ahead. That was more like Ranma-chan, always ready to handle a jerk like Kunou.

Ranma-chan stepped within easy reach of Kunou and stared up at him. Rather than strike him, she began speaking. "Upperclassman Kunou. Exactly how do you feel about me?"

"You are my true love. You are like the wind to me. You-"

Ranma-chan interrupted the rest of the grand speech he was about to make. "And how do you feel about Akane?"

"She is my true love as well. She is like the ocean, her lips-"

"And that is your problem." Ranma-chan cut him off once more. "How can you expect any girl to take you seriously when you say things like that? You are a playboy. Now I'll admit, your open honesty about your feelings is certainly refreshing, even if it means you like two women. And you can certainly get a woman to swoon with those words of yours and make her feel like she's the center of the world. But you'll never be able to work anything out with a girl if you constantly harp on about others. No one likes a lech."

Kunou considered those words for the briefest of moments, then thought things through using the Kunou family common sense. "But I cannot allow one to suffer without me. It would break her heart. It can work out. It must work out. I must have both of you. Starting with yourself." And with that he reached forward and latched onto Ranma-chan, bringing the girl close.

Everyone expected Ranma-chan to react by simply punting him into the atmosphere as she usually did. It was a tremendous surprise when the redhead just wiggled in his grasp and began screaming. "Let me go! Let me go! Shampoo, save me!"

Shampoo-kun ignored the mistake Ranma-chan made in using his real name and went forward anyway. He did not understand exactly why the girl was acting the way she was, but it was obvious Ranma-chan needed help and Shampoo-kun was damned if he wasn't going to give it to her.

Kunou saw the approaching Amazon and released his hold on Ranma-chan, taking some distance from her. "At last, foul Saotome," he smirked. "Vengeance is mine."

"So is a sore head." Shampoo-kun went forward, unimpressed. He went for his standard right fist front kick Kunou elimination combination. As his fist went forward Kunou moved, tilting his body ever so slightly to the left and deflected the blow using the bokken. The parry caught Shampoo-kun so off guard that he was off balance momentarily and stumbled forward. Even as he turned to regain his balance a second blow fell on the back of his neck, knocking him to the ground.

Gasps emanated from every female in the crowd as Shampoo-kun slowly regained his feet. For the first time Kunou had somehow landed a blow upon his adversary.

"Yield, vile Saotome." Kunou laughed at his fallen foe. "You cannot defeat me."

Shampoo-kun slowly regained his feet. If he could take the likes of Mousse and Mint, he could defeat a clueless moron like Kunou easily. It was just one lucky blow. There would not be a second. Shampoo-kun went in for another fist strike. This time Kunou did not even move as he blocked the blow by striking the inside of the Amazon's forearm and lunged forward with the bokken. More than ten strikes, lightning quick, got inside Shampoo-kun's guard and connected with his chest.

Sounds of disbelief came from the crowd. Kunou had never been that fast or accurate, yet it seemed each one of his blows were quicker than the eye could follow.

"And now to finish it!" Kunou yelled dramatically to the skies. Shampoo-kun fought back the pain and tried to kick Kunou once again. That blow was directly blocked by the bokken, which stopped the kick and flowed past once the forward progress of the blow was halted, and connected solidly with Shampoo-kun's midsection once more. The result of the strike sent Shampoo-kun flying into a wall of the school which he bounced off of and landed with a dull thud.

Murmurs ran roughshod through the crowd of Kunou's total domination of the Amazon. No one, save the kendo club, had been prepared for the outcome.

"Victory is mine! HAHAHAHA!" Kunou laughed in a near insane manner in his triumph. Only someone saying "excuse me" caught his attention and caused him to break off his laugh.

"Beauteous Akane Tendo. You are at last free of the wicked one's ways. Free from the bonds of slavery the scum foisted upon you. Come into my arms." His attempt at a glomp ended abruptly as he was belted far into the stratosphere by Akane.

"Well," Akane said as she watched his dwindling form. "That proves he's not invincible, but how did he get good enough to beat Shampoo?" Shampoo-kun appeared to be in top form for that fight so that meant it was Kunou who had gotten better. But there was still the question of how had he gotten better so quickly. A new sensei perhaps, or something more sinister? If Minami had been present she could have detected any magic involved. Or was it drugs that had enhanced his abilities? He did seem the same on the outside, so drugs didn't seem likely, but it was difficult to tell.

In the meantime the horde of Furinkan girls swooned over Shampoo-kun's fate. Their hero had fallen at the hands of the evil Kunou, who would get his comeuppance if he dared to set foot on school grounds again. Several went over to help the fallen Amazon when one of their number held out her hands in an effort to stop the group.

"What is it?" One of them asked.

"Ranma's beat up pretty bad," the one who had stopped the others said.

"Which is why we need to help him," another girl spoke up.

The girl that had halted the others shook her head. "You don't understand. What happens if a girl beats him up?"

"He has to go out with them," a series of girls answered at the same time.

The leader smiled. "That's right. And now Kunou softened him up. Which means-"

"Whoever defeats him first gets to date him."

"But wouldn't taking advantage of him be kind of low." A single voice rose in protest. As every head turned toward her she rethought her position. "You're right. Screw the advantage. I'll beat him up, go out with him, and then he can take advantage of me."

All eyes slowly went from the girl who had spoken to Shampoo-kun's battered form. At last he was able to slowly rise up from the impact and was unaware of the current predicament. His obliviousness did not last as the horde gave out a battle cry and charged him. There was nowhere to run and there was no way he could defeat all of them.

Ukyou assessed the situation and quickly ran over to Ranma-chan. "You want to help Shampoo, right?" she asked.

Ranma-chan quickly nodded her head. "Of course. I would do anything to help him."

"All right then." And with that she slid her giant spatula under the redhead and hurled her at Shampoo-kun. Ranma-chan's flying body arrived just before the first wave of the horde of girls did. Ukyou's throw was on target as Ranma-chan landed right atop Shampoo-kun's head, knocking him out.

Ryouga came over to Ukyou's side. "Exactly how did that help Shampoo?"

"There's no way Shampoo wants to go out with a girl," Ukyou explained. "And Ranchan's really a guy. So even though they'll be in their cursed forms, it will be a perfectly normal date. Normal relative to the fact it's Ranchan and Shampoo, of course."

The horde of girls all stopped in front of Ranma-chan, who was cradling Shampoo-kun's head and pleading with him to speak to her. Sniffles and cries began to erupt from the crowd, all of them essentially meaning the same thing:

"Shampoo gets to date Ranma now! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Shampoo-kun began moaning and holding his head as he came around. Ukyou made her way through the crowd and stood before the pair.

"Congratulations. You two have fun on your date."

Ranma-chan was the first to understand what Ukyou meant. "Oh my," the redhead said in a very Kasumi-like manner. "This is all so sudden. I don't know what to say. I've never had a boyfriend before."

New cries of agony broke out from the assembled crowd and the idea of a lynching started to crop up. A careful fingering by Ukyou of her spatula ceased the talk as quickly as it came. Ranma-chan was still gushing and making plans when Akane stepped through the crowd, grabbed Ranma-chan by the pig tail, and dragged her off.

"Oww!" Ranma-chan protested. "That hurts."

Akane set her down roughly well away from the crowd. "What the hell is going on, Ranma?" she said.

"I don't know what you mean." Ranma-chan began chewing her nails as she felt a mix of fear and confusion over Akane's actions. She had not done anything to anger her fiancee so.

"You've been acting really weird since yesterday."

"I have. In what way?" she asked innocently.

Akane became flustered. Ranma-chan was playing dumb and she had no idea exactly how to put it into words. As she struggled in frustration over what to do next the others joined up at Akane's side.

"How do you feel?" Ukyou asked.

"I feel fine. It really was the only way to protect," She paused as she realized that Kyoko and Ai were present. "Ranma."

"Thank you." Shampoo-kun breathed in relief. Going out with a woman was the last thing he needed. Not with the way he felt lately.

"She's acting weird," Akane informed the other.

"She was like this yesterday." Ryouga told the others "She was acting the same way around Ranma as she did with me."

"Wait a minute!" Kyoko suddenly said. "Are you telling me Shampoo came onto you?"

"Not really." Ryouga then corrected himself. "Well sort of. But I didn't-"

"You little hussy!" Kyoko suddenly got into Ranma-chan's face. "How dare you hit on my boyfriend." She placed her hands around Ranma-chan's neck and began to choke her as she shook the redhead back and forth. "If I wasn't such a nice girl, I might do something rash. Like hurt you!"

It took the combined efforts of Ai, Ryouga, and Ukyou to pry Kyoko's iron grip from around Saotome's neck. Ranma-chan quickly hid behind Shampoo-kun while Kyoko continued shouting out what she would do to Ranma-chan if she weren't such a nice girl. Ukyou and the other two carried the cheerleader off while the remaining three considered what to do.

"Let's head in. I don't want to be late for class." And with that Ranma-chan rushed into school.

By the time school ended the situation was a real mess. Ranma-chan had not gotten any better and continued to act in the same manner as before. Any time the others tried to press Ranma-chan about her behavior she would brush it off and insist nothing was wrong and that she was behaving normally. To make matters worse Akane and Shampoo-kun had to defuse several bad situations between the female population and Ranma-chan, whose mere existence seemed to anger the girls.

At the end of the day Shampoo-kun made his way outside first and arrived at the gate to wait for his compatriots. Both Akane and Ranma-chan were late and the Amazon was afraid something had happened to them. It was much to his relief that Ranma-chan showed up.

"Sorry I'm late. Some very rude young men made some off color remarks about me," she explained.

"I kill him," Shampoo-kun threatened as he balled up his fist and prepared to make his way back inside the school.

"No need." Ranma-chan assured him. "Another nicer boy said the first boy shouldn't talk to me that way, and the two of them got into a fight. And then some other boys got into it and, well..."

Almost as though some higher power sensed Ranma-chan's pause, an explanation of what happened was provided with the noise of shattered glass as a chair was hurled out a window and the sounds of a war came from within.

"...I think I sort of started a riot," Ranma-chan finished.

Shampoo-kun just looked on in awe at the ever increasing noise from within. That was a bit wild, even for Furinkan. Japan was such a weird place.

"Let's get out of here before it spills outside." Ranma-chan grabbed the Amazon's hand and looked bashfully at him.

Shampoo-kun just stared in wide eyed wonder at Ranma-chan's maneuver. "What about Akane?" Shampoo-kun asked.

Ranma-chan suddenly became uncomfortable. "I'll be able to see her at home. Right now I want to spend time with you, if you don't mind."

"No. I don't." Shampoo-kun answered as he started walking towards the dojo, the two walking off hand in hand and oblivious to the hundreds of girls, who wanted nothing to do with a riot over Ranma-chan. They had watched the whole scene and directed curses towards Ranma-chan for being such a blatant tramp.

As inconceivable as it seemed, Akane's bad mood had been made worse. As she was leaving school one of her fellow students asked her to thank 'Just Ranma' (as Ranma-kun was known.) for giving them his windsock. It was much to Akane's surprise that the 'windsock' was actually the sweater she had knit for Ranma just a little while ago. The only saving grace was that apparently it had been instrumental in their winning a science project that had gained first place in an international competition. She kept repeating to herself through gritted teeth that it was all in the name of school pride that her clothing had to be used for something other than its original purpose.

And then she got caught in the war zone. The school halls were filled with students, mostly boys, rioting and causing one huge mess. After Akane fought her way through three quarters of them she had pieced together enough information to figure our Ranma-chan's presence had triggered the war somehow. And then disaster struck once again.

The sound of a ukulele being played over loudspeakers drowned out the brawlers, causing everyone to pause and look around in stark terror. Events had spun out of control until the keeper of the school felt the need to reign the students in.

One of the walls erupted inward as Principal Kunou chose to show off his new toy, a tank that had several small palm trees growing out of the turret, and his associates, the unofficial disciplinarian, Gompachi Chabane, and the new official disciplinarian Hinako Hinomiya. Life around Furinkan really had taken a turn for the worse of late.

The teacher, currently in her young body, began jumping up and down in glee at the spectacle before her. "You really are all delinquents! I can see it's going to take some time to clean up this school. And we are going to start now! HAPPO GO EN SATSU!"

There was an American saying for situations like that and Akane knew it well: it was time to get the hell out of Dodge. Akane jumped out of a window even as she felt the first vestiges of her chi being sucked out of her. She landed with a thud in some bushes, then turned to look back at the building to see students withering away under the assault. It was definitely time to go home.

Almost as soon as Akane arrived home and stepped foot inside Nabiki informed her there was a family meeting going on that Ranma had called together. Upon entering the room she could see that everyone was already gathered around, even a pale Kasumi that was sitting next to Shampoo-kun, who was fussing over her making certain she was all right.

Akane took a place next to Nabiki as Ranma-chan began to speak.

"I realize you all wish to know why I called everyone together for this meeting. I have a very important announcement to make. I want you all to know that this is not easy for me. Every one of you means so much that it just hurts me to even think about what I must say. I have considered remaining silent and saving everyone from a great deal of grief and pain. But I realize now that that is not a possibility, as much as I wish it were otherwise, for if I say nothing then that too will cause pain to others. There is no path I can take that is free, so it now falls to me to choose how I will hurt oth...others" Ranma-chan's voice caught as she obviously tried to hold back tears. Of everyone in the room only Genma focused on Ranma-chan's behavior instead of what she was saying. Even he could see something was wrong with his son, and only he understood what repercussions that could have.

Ranma-chan continued. "As everyone knows, there has been a long standing engagement between myself and Akane due to an agreement by my father and Mr. Tendo. I have little doubt that they both thought this was a good idea. After all, they are such thoughtful and caring people that I am certain they believed that the happiness that was between them could be shared with their children. And Akane and I have certainly had some fun times together. I know I am a better person, not just because of her, but because of all the Tendo family. Thank you."

All were moved by the confession, even Nabiki. Few people ever said such things to her without hope of some recompense.

Akane felt proud of Ranma-chan's declaration, but there was also a feeling of building dread that something else was going to happen. Something bad.

"That is why it makes what I have to do so much harder, but it must be done. I'm sorry, but I must dissolve the engagement."

Everyone just looked on in shock. Then all hell broke loose.

"What are you talking about, boy?!"

"Son, how dare you do this to your fiancee!"

"Whoa! What did you and Akane fight over now?"

"Oh my!"

Only two people remained silent, and for quite different reasons. Shampoo-kun said nothing because of an overwhelming shock to the system. It took a few moments for him to truly grasp exactly what had been said, but at last it settled in. It was over. Ranma-chan had finally come to her senses and threw off the yoke of the undesired engagement, setting herself free to be with whomever she wanted. Just as it should have always been.

Akane was in shock once again, yet she remained silent until, eventually, everyone turned her way, waiting to see her reaction. It was almost a full minute before she began to shake in anger. How could he? How could he do it? How could he call her beautiful one day and break off the engagement the next? What kind of a monster was he to make her believe one thing, to build up her hopes with a single word, then shatter them irreparably with his next?

It was another thirty seconds before she spoke up, tears streaming down her eyes. "How dare you toy with my emotions that way! I hate you! I HATE YOU!"

Ranma-chan began crying in response and tried to move to comfort her. "I...I'm sorry, Akane. But I can't-"

The rest was cut off by the slap Ranma-chan felt across her mouth.

"How dare you say you're sorry! You're not! You just used me to feed your ego and make yourself feel good! You used me, you sick bastard! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Akane prepared to storm out of the room even as Genma stood up and grabbed Ranma-chan by the collar.

"You don't get it, do you, boy? You can't just say 'I'm no longer engaged', and it's dissolved. It doesn't work that way."

Soun made his presence known once again. "Why can't you marry her, son? What's happened? Did you two have a fight? If you did I can guarantee it can be worked out."

"Don't any of you understand?" Ranma-chan pleaded. "I can't be married to Akane for the same reason I'm giving up martial arts. And please don't call me son."

The second declaration made everyone sit up and take notice again. It even managed to cut through Akane's sorrow filled heart. Ranma-chan giving up martial arts?

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, BOY?!" Genma raged. "You can't give up martial arts. They're your life."

"I have to, Father. And please don't call me boy."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Genma shouted.

"Well I would think it's obvious," Ranma-chan calmly stated as she regained control of her emotions. "After all, I am a girl."

Ranma-chan was more than a little surprised at the stunned look on everyone's faces.

Akane was the first to shake off her shock and moved to stand next to Ranma-chan. "What are you talking about, Ranma? You're a boy."

Ranma-chan shook her head fiercely. "No! I'm a girl. That's why I have to give up martial arts. It's not proper for a girl to practice them. And that's why I can't marry you. You're a nice girl and you'll make someone a very happy bride someday. But it can't be me. Girls can't marry girls. It's wrong."

"What are you talking about?" Akane did not know whether to be angry or frightened. Was it all some plot to break off the engagement, or was Ranma-chan really having delusions?

Ranma-chan sighed and pointed to her chest. "Boys don't have things like this. That proves I'm a girl."

"Ranma, you only have breasts because of the curse." Akane reminded him. "You are a guy who changes into a girl when your hit with cold water. Don't you remember?"

"I know what you're talking about." Ranma-chan gained a far off cast to her eyes. "It's sort of like a dream from a lifetime ago. But it was just that, a dream. I am a girl now. I know that hurts you, but you have to accept it. We can never be more than friends. I'm sorry."

It was Nabiki's turn to interject herself. "I think I know what's going on."

"You do?" Soun asked as all heads turned to the middle Tendo child.

Nabiki held up her finger and delivered her answer. "It's rather obvious when you think about it. I mean we should have seen this coming for some time now. Why, I have to say that I expected something like this would happen. It's a miracle it di-"

Her speech was cut short as a bonbori smashed the table in front of her. "Spit it out now, Nabiki!" Shampoo-kun threatened.

"Right," she answered nervously. The only reason Shampoo would use Nabiki's real name like that was if Nabiki had hit the limit, and if she fooled around any longer the next blow probably would be aimed at her skull. Choosing to skip her next dramatic pause she delivered her statement. "Ranma is having a nervous breakdown."

"What makes you say that?" Kasumi asked.

"Think about it. He's had-"

"She," Ranma-chan corrected. "Please refer to me by my proper gender."

"Right," Nabiki glowered. "She's had a curse that changes his...I mean her sex with cold water. She's had half the martial artists in the world after her hide. Every other day someone either attacks her or tries to hit on her. She was forced into an engagement without being told about it until the last minute. Her entire life has been composed of nothing but martial arts. She was thrown repeatedly into a pit of hungry cats until she developed a psychosis at the ripe old age of about seven. And she has Mr. Saotome as her father, that alone would drive most people out of their minds."

Genma's protest about character assassinations was cut off by a "Saotome," by Soun.

"I did not have a nervous breakdown. I am the picture of perfect mental health," Ranma-chan declared.

Everyone evaluated the statement, formed huge sweatdrops (save for Kasumi), then turned back to Nabiki.

Akane spoke first. "So what do we do to cure him?"

"Her," Ranma-chan corrected.

"The way I figure it," Nabiki began. "A lot of the reason she thinks she's a girl is because she hasn't changed in a while. When was the last time anyone saw her as a guy?"

"It was the day before yesterday," Shampoo-kun supplied.

"So all we have to do is splash her with hot water?" Akane asked, her mood suddenly improving. Ranma-chan hadn't rejected her. Ranma-chan was crazy. Of course that brought about a whole new set of problems, but at least she wasn't in his right mind when she broke off the engagement. Unfortunately that also meant that everything she had told Akane the day before was while she was in the process of having her mind shattered. But if getting back the engagement meant the kind words Akane's fiancé spoke to her were all a lie, then it would be worth it. A high price to pay, but one that had to be done.

At the realization that Nabiki probably was right, Shampoo-kun, forced himself to suppress the urge to start laughing insanely. Just when Ranma-chan had started to show some outward signs of affection towards the Amazon, it turned out she was demented. Oh yes, that made perfect sense to Shampoo-kun. Couldn't have things going his way, now could they? Nope, he could be led on by mentally deranged Ranma-chan, but couldn't get any real affection from the boy, well, girl now, when she was in her right mind. And Ranma-chan's behavior towards him had been so thoughtful and caring. The attention he had received from Saotome had helped to coalesce the Amazon's feelings towards her. Now it turned out those signs of affection were nothing more than the product of a diseased mind. And Shampoo-kun's desires had blinded him to that fact.

In hindsight it should have been obvious: Ranma-chan always being in female form, the dresses, her unusual acceptance of the flattery of the other male students, trying to dissuade Kunou through words instead of action. And the list went on and on. There was more than a little guilt as Shampoo-kun understood that he had felt more than a great deal of appreciation at the attention he had received from the mentally addled Ranma-chan. He claimed he loved Saotome, but to not notice a little thing like a mental breakdown occur right before his eyes was more than enough to make him feel as though perhaps all of his so called feelings for Ranma-chan were nothing more than some pathetic attempt at attention. All in all it was a heartbreaking experience.

All of that also meant once Ranma-chan recovered then the engagement would be revalidated to that damned Akane. Akane did not love her fiancé and certainly didn't want to get married to him, yet no matter what, the cursed engagement just wouldn't go away. Shampoo-kun's greatest foe was one she could not fight.

But now was not the time for self-pity. If Ranma-chan needed help Shampoo-kun would be there for him. Ranma-chan would do no less. "So all we need is to pour some hot water on him?" Shampoo-kun said. "That easy."

Akane beat the Amazon over to the kettle and headed towards Ranma-chan. "Here you go, Ranma. Just let me give you a little hot water and we'll show you that you're really a boy."

"No." Ranma-chan leaped out of the way. "I am not a boy, I'm a girl. Quit telling me I'm a boy, and keep that water away from me."

"It's for your own good, Ranma," Akane pointed out.

"I'm happy just the way I am," she protested.

Akane had had enough. "Stand still so I can get you." Much to her annoyance Ranma-chan jumped deftly out of the way of the attempted dousing. "Look, if you're really a girl than it won't make any difference what you look like on the outside. You'll still be the same person on the inside"

"No."

"Please," Akane softly pleaded.

Ranma-chan shook her head. "No. I'm sorry Akane. But I can never be the sort of person you want me to be. So please quit trying to make me into something I'm not."

Somehow those words cut deep, even though she knew Ranma-chan wasn't thinking right. Akane started to protest, but was cut off as Genma finally made his move. He picked up a second kettle of hot water and quietly sneaked up behind Ranma-chan, then poured it over the motionless girl.

"Enough wining, boy. I didn't raise my son to think he's some sort of woman. I've raised you to be a man among men." He paused long enough to examine the now quite male Ranma in front of him. "See."

"How do you feel now?" Shampoo-kun asked as everyone watched intently for the reaction.

Ranma remained motionless, then slowly looked down at his chest, feeling the area where his breasts had been a moment ago.

"You see," Akane said softly, as though afraid a loud noise would cause him to run away in fright. "You are a boy."

Tears formed in Ranma's eyes as he began crying. "I'm a girl! A girl!" And with that he took off and ran for the pond. No one moved to prevent his leap as he jumped in and triggered the transformation. Quickly Ranma-chan reached down to her chest and felt the return of her reassuring cleavage, then breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was still there.

"See," she said without the slightest bit of doubt in her voice. "I am a girl."

"It didn't work," Akane said under her breath. It took her several minutes to compose herself before she trusted her ability to speak. "I need to go upstairs. Good bye, Ranma." Akane said quietly to the girl who remained in the pond, almost as though she were afraid she would revert back to her male form if she left its watery confines.

Akane sat down on her bed and simply stared off into space. There was only one emotion she could feel. Whether or not it was because it was so overwhelming that it drowned out the others, or if there was nothing else to feel she couldn't tell. What she was certain of was that she had just lost something precious. There was no other explanation for the feeling of total desolation that dominated her like no other emotion ever had.

Back in the pond Ranma-chan remained where she was. True, it was wet and uncomfortable, but to get out meant facing the others again. And they were behaving so irrationally. Why was everyone insisting she was a boy? Couldn't they see the obvious? She was a girl.

And then there was Akane. Ranma-chan had suspected she would take the breaking of the engagement hard, but she just had to cry, and Ranma-chan hated that. But it was for her own good. Ranma-chan simply did not like girls that way and she just knew Akane didn't either, although she did faintly remember a time when Akane kissed her and she was most definitely a girl. But that was a distant memory, like a dream from that long time ago when Ranma-chan was confused. Now she was thinking clearly for what might have been the first time ever. All that was left to do was get the others to open their eyes and accept that fact as well. Eventually they would, and then she and Akane could be friends again just like during the engagement. Akane's friendship was important to her, and losing it would hurt a lot. Ranma-chan would do whatever she had to to make sure a peace existed between the two of them.

Ranma-chan noticed her father start to walk over to her. She had prayed all last night that he would understand why she had to give up martial arts. Her natural inclination was not to be a petulant child, but there was the propriety of the matter. It just wasn't proper for a lady to do such things. Now that her mind was clear, Ranma-chan knew she wanted to be more like Kasumi than Akane, and her father was just going to have to accept that as a fact. Maybe she could convince him Shampoo-kun would make a worthy heir to carry on the tradition of Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. Shampoo-kun was just so perfect, how could her father not accept him as a successor?

"Now do you see, Father?" she began as Genma stood next to her along the edge of the pond. "I am a girl. I have breasts and everythAHHH!"

Genma picked his 'daughter' up and out of the pond hurling her to the ground. Ranma-chan had no chance to get up as he then placed his tremendous bulk fully on top of her, pinning her to the ground while not allowing her the slightest bit of leverage. "I don't know what game you're playing at, boy, but it stops here and now. Tendo! The water!"

Soun came over with a steaming kettle and poured the contents directly over Ranma-chan's head. "This is for your own good, son. We have to make you better and get you engaged to Akane again."

"I don't wanna be engaged to a girl! I am a girl!" Ranma tried squirming his way out from under Genma's tremendous bulk, but all to no avail. "Someone help me!"

Shampoo-kun moved around a corner to spare him the sight of Ranma's struggles. Reflexively he wanted to come to Ranma's aid, but it really was all for his own good. Ranma was disturbed, and the fathers seemed to think this was what would cure Ranma. Ranma would forgive Shampoo-kun later for not interfering.

"Please, anyone!"

Shampoo-kun balled his fists up and shut his eyes, trying to remain where he was. Ranma sounded weak. That wasn't the Ranma Shampoo-kun knew. The real Ranma would never cry out like some helpless little child. Why, he would be humiliated if someone even suggested such a thing. When this was all over Ranma would show his appreciation for allowing the fathers to cure him.

"Kasumi, help me!"

Shampoo-kun heard Kasumi's response. "Are you sure this is such a good idea? He seems to be very uncomfortable and I don't think it's so bad for him to get in touch with his female side."

"He isn't getting in touch with it," Soun protested. "he thinks he is one!"

"My son will be a man among men," Genma defended. "He is not getting in touch with anything female except Akane."

"I won't marry her. I'm a girl!"

"What's that boy?"

"Ouch!" Ranma cried out. "I can't breath! Please help me, Nabiki!"

"Leave me out of this, Saotome. It's your mess."

He didn't want to hear Ranma cry out like that. Ranma never cried. As Shampoo-kun's hands went to the ears he felt something wet trickle down his face. He opened his eyes to see that he had balled his fists so tightly that the fingernails had broken flesh, causing them to bleed.

"Akane, save me! I know you're angry, but I need help. They're hurting me!"

"Stop whining, boy. Just admit that you're a man and we'll let you go."

"I'm a girl."

Why couldn't he just be silent and accept the treatment? Why couldn't Ranma just get cured? Surely the fathers weren't really hurting him. And even if they were causing him a little pain wouldn't Ranma's instincts protect him and maybe break through his dementia? He was strong and could defeat both of them easily if he had to. Ranma's instincts would kick in any second now and he would get better. He would be normal.

"Help! Akane!"

He sounded just like a weak little girl, not the strong man he really was. Ranma never let anyone see him weak. Both of his arms could be hacked off and he would still do nothing but protest that he was fine. He could never truly be happy the way he was now. He had to be cured no matter what.

"Help, Shampoo!"

Now it had become painfully obvious Ranma was crying his eyes out as he shouted. Hands went to Shampoo-kun's ears, regardless of the blood, as he shut his eyes as hard as he could. Damn him! Why wouldn't Ranma just be quiet?

"Shampoo, please! I need you!"

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

"You promised you'd protect me, remember? On the ship you swore you would protect me from anyone that would try to hurt me! I need your help! I'm begging you, save me!"

"RANMA!"

Shampoo-kun cried out his name. Too much. The screams. The pleading. The crying. It all was too much to take as he raced into the yard and punted Genma off of Ranma's prone form. When the weight was removed the crying boy grabbed onto Shampoo-kun and buried himself into the Amazon's arms. Shampoo-kun returned the embrace and began apologizing to Ranma, barely keeping in tears of his own.

"I sorry, Ranma! I sorry! I was wrong. I should no have let them hurt you. I swear to you, I not abandon you again. I sooner die than do that. I promise."

Shampoo-kun turned his attention to the two fathers. "Leave her alone or you answer to me." That warning was leveled at the nearby Soun as well as Genma, whose body was stuck into a wall from the force of Shampoo-kun's kick. Once he was certain the two fathers were taking him seriously he began to check out what damage they might have inflicted on Ranma. "Is you all right?"

"I n...need w...water," he managed to sob out.

Akane had at last made it downstairs. She had been in motion the second time Ranma had called out her name and raced down at breakneck speed. Like Shampoo-kun, she wanted him cured, but at the same time could not reject his pleas for help. Each one had cut like a knife. She arrived just in time to hear Ranma's plea and quickly grabbed a glass of water and poured it over the cowering boy. Almost as soon as the water hit Ranma-chan calmed down slightly.

"It's okay, Ranma. We'll treat you like a girl," Akane assured her.

"Y...you will?" Ranma-chan sniffled back.

Akane smiled and nodded her head. "Yep. If that's what makes you happy, then we won't force you turn into a boy. Will we?" The question was directed at Genma and Soun, who upon seeing the VERY mean stares of Shampoo-kun and Akane, silently acceded to the demands.

Ranma-chan slowly detached herself from Shampoo-kun and looked softly at her saviors. "Thank you."

Both Shampoo-kun and Akane gave the redhead convincing, if insincere, smiles. They needed to calm Ranma-chan down, but neither had any idea of what to do next. And if they didn't do something soon, well, neither wanted to consider that particular outcome. They would handle one problem at a time. Something would come up. Something always came up. It had to.

It just had to.

"Fall, foul demon!"

Kunou lunged forward even as the pus colored, three headed demon lashed out with twenty of its razor sharp tentacles, hoping to impale the attacking kendoist. With great effort Kunou narrowly managed to parry each of the near fatal strikes, although two of the tentacles slashed through part of his hakama while a third nicked his cheek, drawing blood.

While Kunou distracted it with a frontal assault, Yohko and Azusa launched themselves in the air.

"Azusa, now!" Yohko ordered.

Being the good devil-hunter-in-training that Azusa was, she obeyed and attacked the remaining four tentacles that the demon had left to guard its main body. With those out of the way, Yohko at last had a path to the demon's anchor to the physical world, the Gem of Shadol, which was embedded in its pulpy chest. She deftly leaped over two of the heads that tried to snap her in half with their long pointed snouts and foot long teeth. The third set of jaws that attempted to clamp down on her were severed, along with the rest of the head, by Yohko's Soulsword. Before the monstrosity's head hit the ground Yohko found herself poised to strike the final blow.

"This is your end, Lohkar!" And with that final condemnation Yohko thrust her sword directly into the gem, shattering it into a million iridescent shards of crystal.

The effect was instantaneous as the tentacles rose to the moonlit sky in agony and the demon began to melt. "You will pay for this travesty, one hundred and eighth generation of devil hunter. You and your little Azusa too."

Kunou raised his bokken high to the sky. "And if you dare to threaten either of these fair damsels, or any other innocent, you will have to face the awesome power of Tatewaki Kunou, repulsive demon."

"I have not forgotten you either, True Blunder," the creature gurgled as it continued to melt.

"That's 'Blue Thunder'!"

"Whatever," the creature spoke its last as the final pieces melted, leaving nothing but a huge puddle of goo.

"I will await your return, evil demon, and send you back to the hell from whence you came." Kunou struck yet another dramatic pose, more for his benefit than the two girls that were with him.

Off to the side, Azusa saw an all too familiar gleam in her mentor's eyes. "Yohko, I don't think you want to do that."

"I don't know what you mean," Yohko answered dreamily.

Azusa sighed. "Yes you do. All of the guys you fall for are either demons, get sacrificed, or are nothing but illusions to begin with."

"He's different. I can tell."

"Well I'll agree with you there," Azusa lamented. "He's weirder than most."

"Look at his noble face. His chivalrous attitude. His..."

Azusa shut out the rest of his 'awesome' attributes as she rolled her eyes. There was no getting through to Yohko tonight. Perhaps common sense would kick in tomorrow. And maybe Chi would stick to one of her diets.

Devil Hunter Yohko finished her list and approached the man that had assisted them in tracking down and destroying Lohkar. "Thanks. You were great!"

Kunou brushed his hair back in an aristocratic manner. "No need for gratitude. I would scarcely be the noble soul I contend that I am if I were to allow beauties such as yourselves to fall prey to the devilish machinations of such abominations."

The young man next to her excited Yohko like no other had before. She decided to take a chance. "I'm usually not this forward, but are you seeing someone?"

Kunou gave a wide smile. "Ah, my handsome features have captured yet another young girl's fancy. But alas, I cannot date you, I already have two loves."

Yohko looked at him in confusion. Two loves? He was some kind if two timer? No, that just couldn't be. The youth was too heroic and handsome. No doubt he meant something appropriately noble, like he was wedded to both his code of honor and his sword.

He gave a bow before Yohko. "It is time for me to depart, but first," He brought his hands behind his back for a moment before bringing them forward once more, this time bearing a bouquet of red roses. "For you."

Yohko nearly passed out from joy. A handsome man just gave her flowers. She could die happy now.

"I must depart." And with that Kunou left for Nerima. How unfortunate he had to miss the rest of the day at school and give the foul Saotome the thrashing he deserved. That could have been the only reason Akane Tendo would smite him so. He would have been back earlier if he had not landed in the middle of a battle involving the two girls and a monster. The demon called Lohkar would no doubt have harmed the young women, and it was Kunou's duty to protect helpless girls from danger. So the rest of the day was spent tracking the fleeing demon down and running him to ground. Now it was time to go back home and truly give Saotome the beating he deserved. Then the two goddesses would be his.

Yohko sighed at Kunou's departing form. He was truly the man of her dreams. She silently vowed to herself that that was not the last time she and Tatewaki Kunou would cross paths. And the next time Yohko Mano saw him she would make him hers.

Epilogue

Joketsuzoku, China:

Be Dea walked towards the center of the Great Hall and awaited her allies to approach her. Well, her allies and Shou Ya, though why that particular elder seemed to hang around someone she professed to dislike and disagreed with almost all the time was beyond her. At least she wasn't spying, that much she could be sure of.

"So your request passed," Shou Ya said in a tired voice.

"No thanks to you," Be Dea answered. "I thought you said you were going to back me." She had to call in a lot of favors to get everything she wanted, and it all would have been easy of Shou Ya had backed her.

"I changed my mind." Shou Ya shrugged. "I say let the child be. If she does become leader someday, then she's going to have to enjoy these times of little responsibility as much as she can. And before you ask, no, I don't believe she is cursed. And neither do you, else you would have said something about it at the meeting."

"I just think Ku-Lon is up to something and I think Shan-Pu is involved up to her neck in it. Be Dea stated in a firm voice. "I tell you, something is going on and I want to get to the bottom of it."

"It sounds like you know something." Talcum moved closer to Be Dea. Getting the inside line on things always interested her. It was one of the reasons she had voted with Be Dea on sending out a party to track down Shampoo.

For the first time that anyone could remember, Be Dea actually seemed worried. "You know my grandson, Fleece?" the others nodded. "Well, you know how sensitive he is to the world around him. Anyway, he's been having...problems."

"What sort of problems?" Comb asked.

"Dreams mostly. But real bad ones. And they've been getting worse." Be Dea was reluctant to mention what else was going on with the others. She was a private person by nature as well as because of necessity, but she had to tell someone. "He keeps waking up shouting out that someone hates him, and no, its not his wife. I'm pretty sure these aren't normal nightmares either. It all started one night when he saw some strange lights around Jusenkyou.. Since then he's been getting worse. I talked with the guide up there and discovered that there have been an awful lot of visitors lately, and more often than not they end up taking a dip."

The others made sounds of sympathy.

"Now I don't know about you, but when a lot of people end up in those pools, more often than not, bad things start to happen," Be Dea mentioned.

"You think the Musk are involved?" Shou Ya asked. "Maybe changing their people into animals to help them build the army?"

"It's a strong possibility," Be Dea agreed. "At any rate, I think if we haul in Shan-Pu, Ku-Lon will soon follow, or at least tell us what's really going on in order to countermand the council decision about bringing Shan-Pu back. And with all that's happening around us, I want the matriarch close by. I can't help feeling like this is all the calm before some kind of storm. There's just something different in the air."

The others nodded in agreement, though had reservations about the statement. Foretelling was a rare talent, and Be Dea had never shown any inclination towards it.

Talcum spoke up. "You said that you were going to personally take care of the matter. Who are you going to send? Surely you aren't going?"

Be Dea laughed at that. "I should say not. While Ku-Lon's gone I intend to enjoy every moment of peace I have around here. And I have a feeling that when we grab Shan-Pu the matriarch will be back, and none too happy with me. This could all blow up in my face yet. As to who I'll send, I have someone special in mind."

"You mean her?" Comb asked emphasizing the last word in such a way as everyone knew who she was talking about.

"Yes." Be Dea nodded. "She's impressed me a great deal since her return. Did you know she even managed to out argue me in a discussion we had."

"What did you do?" Shou Ya asked.

"I did what the elders used to do to us whenever we scored one over on them when we were her age."

"You told her to shut up and mind her own business," Comb said flatly.

"Of course." Be Dea smiled."I think she'll be perfect for the hunt."

"You've really taken her under your wing." Shou Ya, said that more as a statement than a question.

Be Dea gave a toothy grin every bit as horrifying as Cologne's. "She is nothing short of incredible. She's beaten everyone in her age category and higher in the months since her return, beaten them easily. And the girl has a mind that's as sharp as a razor. I personally think she could not only take Shan-Pu, but I believe that perhaps one day she could be leader."

"Can't get it yourself so you want to live vicariously through others by having them attain the goal you sought. How petty," Shou Ya commented.

Be Dea held her temper in check. "No. I truly believe she should be leader someday because of who she is and what she can do, not because of some feeling of dissatisfaction."

"You'd still enjoy seeing the matriarch's great granddaughter fall from contendership though?" Comb asked.

"That's just a bonus." Be Dea admitted. "I'm going to inform her now. I shall see you all later."

The others said their good-byes as Be Dea left for the girl's home. Be Dea had been understating her admiration for the young girl. Most women would not have the opportunity to be considered for leadership until they hit the age of fifty or so, but Be Dea had a feeling that the girl was so good she might actually gain the leadership that much sooner. And the look of disappointment on Cologne's face when Shampoo fell would come close to allowing Be Dea to die a happy woman.

She arrived at the girl's house and knocked on the door. Her mother, Rinse, answered immediately and gave a deep bow.

"Greetings honored elder. What brings you here at this time of day?"

"I've come to talk to your daughter," Be Dea explained. "Is she in?"

Rinse admitted she was and ushered the elder directly to the girl's room. Be Dea looked past Rinse and into the room even as she was introduced. Rinse's husband had added on to the house to accommodate the girl's possessions, of which there were many. Rinse excused herself, much to the elder's surprise, and closed the door behind her, leaving her alone with the girl. Now that Be Dea was in the room she saw the girl for the first time today. The girl started to put down the book she had been holding and was about to get up to bow before Be Dea.

"Sit down. I have enough people bow before me every day that my back is stooped from all the bending I have to do. I won't miss it if a couple of them just give me a pleasant, 'good day, Elder'."

The girl took the cue and sat back down. "Good day, Elder."

"Now you see, my back feels better already." Be Dea usually took the friendly tact with those she wished to relax in her presence, but now that she had watched the girl for almost a minute she realized there was very little tension in her. Very little. A mixture of emotions went through the elder with that realization. It was good to see the girl had great control and refused to be impressed with one's title, but she should still have respect for her betters. At least as long as they were her betters. Be Dea would have to watch the girl more carefully to make certain she did not lose respect for how the village hierarchy worked.

"What was that you were reading?" Be Dea asked, pointing to the book the girl had just put down.

The girl picked it up and showed the title to Be Dea. "Dante's Inferno, in the original Italian. You know, it's true what they say about it losing something in the translation."

"You can read Italian?"

"Oh yes," the girl said. "I'm fluent in that as well as Japanese, English, and German. I can also speak a little Hindi, French, Vietnamese, and Russian. I have a knack for languages, and as I learned under my various masters, most of them prefer it when you speak to them in their native tongue."

"I guess so," Be Dea commented while hiding the fact she was impressed. True, learning a foreign language was hardly a good indicator if someone was smart or dull-witted, Be Dea's difficulty in learning anything outside of Chinese was proof of that, but in this case she felt it did speak volumes of the girl's intelligence.

Be Dea paused in thought to look upon the bookshelves that had been a recent addition to the room. Hundreds of volumes sat upon those wooden boards. Only the tribe's library held more. "You have many books here," she commented as she let her hand trail along the spines of the various texts as she strolled past them.

"I traveled to many different places and picked them up over time," the girl explained. "Whenever I found one I wanted to keep I'd send it to a storage facility in Hong Kong. When I returned home I sent for them. Even I wasn't really aware of just how much I accumulated over time."

Many of the texts were in their native tongue, and indecipherable to the elder, but some were translated. She could read some of the titles though. Books on philosophy, politics, and economics were numerous. Be Dea was about to turn away when her eyes fell upon a title that was very familiar. She picked up the dog-eared copy of the book. "Ah. Sun-Tzu. I remember my first copy of 'The Art of War'. Mine was even more worn out than this when I was your age." She began leafing through the pages, reminiscing about her past, when she noticed something peculiar about the copy she held in her hand. "What's all this writing doing in the margins?"

"Oh, those are the revisions I did to the book." the girl stated without a trace of bravado. "That's just the unorganized scribbling I wrote down when I first went through it. If you want, I can show you the good copy I have with all the detailed descriptions."

Be Dea just stood there in shock. She...REVISED the 'Art of War'.

The girl was able to read the elder's emotions immediately and knew she had to take action right away unless she wished to jeopardize what headway she had made with the elder in the past months since her return. "Most of them are simply updated ideas to fit into the modern era of combat. The face of the world has changed, and not all of the ideas are feasible without a great deal of modifications. I did very little revising involving old or bad ideas that were a little off. I still regard it as one of the greatest books I've ever read."

Be Dea relaxed ever so slightly at the admission. The idea that anyone could improve on that book was absurd, though she did pocket the copy that she had been holding. It would give her insight as to how the girl's mind really worked.

The girl decided to take the initiative. "You did not come here to borrow books, did you, Elder?"

It was time to get down to business. "I have a task for you. One which will measure the true extent of your abilities." Be Dea paused to allow that bit of information to sink in. The girl's reaction was just what Be Dea had thought it would. The girl was extremely skilled at hiding her emotions, but far from perfect. There was just the slightest hint of the excitement she held within etched on her face.

"The council has authorized an action. I wish for you to be given charge of its execution." Be Dea gave an imposing stare at the girl. It was much to her delight that the youth didn't cringe at all, but rather looked eager to accept the task.

"I will do it, honored Elder," the girl reassured.

"You have not yet heard what it is."

The girl shook her head. "It does not matter. I will accept it no matter the task."

Those were easy words to utter. Be Dea would test the resolve of them."What if I told you it is a secret mission to break into the Musk's fortress to gain intelligence on them?"

"I would begin by looking through the ancient texts to see if there is anything on how Hu Chiang pierced their walls," the girl answered, her eyes indicating that her mind was already racing with what steps she would have to take. "Then I would interview anyone who had been to the fortress to see what they remembered. And then-."

The rest was cut off as Be Dea raised her hand. "Don't be in such a rush. That's not what you have to do, though I believe your enthusiasm demonstrates you are more than ready for the real task."

The girl fell to one knee. "I swear to you I will do my best, Elder."

Be Dea shook her head reassuringly. "Excellent. Your eagerness does you justice. And this task will gain you much notoriety should you succeed."

"I cannot see the future, so there is no guarantee of victory," the girl admitted. "But if it can be done then I shall succeed, come hell or high water."

"That's good to hear. Few admit when things are beyond their abilities, especially the young, but you approach things with the realization that victory is not a certainty. I acknowledge your acceptance." Be Dea would have adopted this girl in a heartbeat if she did not already have a clan and family. "If you must know, there is one other reason I think you will enjoy this. Think of it as a bonus."

The girl's eyebrows cocked up quizzically. "And why is that?"

The moment to spring the surprise had at last come. Be Dea had been waiting to watch the girl's reaction to the good news. "You are going to have the opportunity to avenge yourself of a terrible wrong done to you in the past. We are authorizing you to hunt down and bring back your old rival, Shan-Pu. Congratulations, Perfume."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Special Thanks to:

Harold Ancell  
Ryan Anderson  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Shadowmage  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	27. Kunou Invincible

Ranma ½ Presents:  
Shampoo ½

Chapter 27

Kunou Invincible

C+C always appreciated. (flames included)

Standard disclaimer:  
I disclaim I own any of the Ranma ½ characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to. Other characters are owned by their respective creators as well.

An alternate universe:  
What has gone on before (or what you need to know to enjoy this fic) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to train, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and dunking in Spring of Young Drowned Man we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and accidentily ended up engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. Over the months many battles and events occurred in which many friends and foes were made (i.e. the previous chapters). Last chapter Ranma got hit in the head and thinks he’s a girl. Unfortuneately no one knows that was what happened and everyone assumes he has simply had a mental breakdown. Now believing he is a girl he has broken off his engagement to Akane and refuses to change into a boy. Not to mention he has a bad tendency to come onto Shampoo-kun. Also, Kunou got his hands on a book of Juraian Sword techniques and has now become invincible. Now that Ranma is effctively helpless, everyone wants to date him or kill him, and it’s taking everything Akane and Shampoo have to keep him safe…

NOTE: [I’m switching over to the more ‘classic’ Xian-Pu for the Chinese spelling]

<> Means Chinese  
** Panda sign-language

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Kasumi hummed a little tune to herself as she made certain the temperature of the cooking water was just right. She had been at it too many years to ever allow food to overcook. Even if she didn’t show it, there was a certain amount of pride in running her kitchen just right. There was an order to it and any deviations, while they could be dealt with by a smile, were not wanted. Chaos may have reigned supreme in every other corner of the house, but this was her domain, and it would be orderly. 

A sound brought Kasumi out of her contemplation. She stopped humming and turned to see a rather disheveled looking Shampoo practically stagger into the kitchen before sitting down at the table. 

“”

The Amazon yawned loudly before greeting Kasumi in return.

“” Kasumi asked. “” She approached and placed her hand to Shampoo’s forehead, checking her temperature.

“” Shampoo softly removed the hand. “ _”_

_“” Kasumi had been having unusual dreams as well an wondered if there was a bout of it going around._

_Shampoo nodded her head. “ _”__

__“” Kasumi began. “”_ _

__“ _” Shampoo sighed. “ _”___ _

____“ _”__ _ _ _

_____Shampoo chuckled. “”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kasumi went back to checking on the cooking meals. “”_ _ _ _ _

_____“”_ _ _ _ _

_____“” Kasumi gave her warm smile and went back to preparing the food._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo was almost out the door, when something occurred to her. “”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kasumi paused in thought for a moment. “”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo shook her head. The tune sounded awfully familiar, but she couldn’t quite place her finger on it. She left the kitchen and made her way to the bath, trying to hum the tune herself. Just as she was about to run the water she realized that something was horribly out of place. She couldn’t believe she had almost missed it. Total exhaustion was the only excuse she had in missing such a tremendous inconsistency in Kasumi’s behavior._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo rushed down the hall and into the kitchen where Kasumi was still examining the food and making certain it was all right. “When did you learn to speak Chinese?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kasumi gave her an odd stare. “I don’t know what you mean. I only know a little bit from some books I read when you first came here. I wanted to be able to talk to you in your own language, but I’m afraid I wasn’t very good at it. I was too embarrassed to ever try to use it on you.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo shook her head in disbelief. “Kasumi, you was just talking to me in fluent Chinese.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I think you’re mistaken. You’re probably just tired. Why don’t you take nice hot bath? I’m sure you’ll feel better.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo allowed herself to be led back to the bathroom, giving up on the line of thought. Maybe she had just imagined it. It wasn’t like Kasumi would lie about such a thing, but for the life of her Shampoo could have sworn it was Chinese the girl had been using. Now that she thought about it, there was an odd dialect to it; something slightly off about how she was pronouncing some of the words. After several minutes of intense doubt about whether the event even occurred or not, the mystery was placed to the side. There were more immediate things to worry about, like what to do about Ranma._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Kasumi went back to preparing the food for a third time. Poor Shampoo, she was so confused. Thinking Kasumi could speak Chinese was just so silly. The only foreign language she could speak with any level of proficiency was English, and even then she wasn’t very good at it._ _ _ _ _

_____The question about the song she had been humming was bothering her, however. It was familiar and the source of it was right on the tip of her tongue. Concentrating, she was delighted to remember where she had heard it before. It was from way back when she was just a little child, too young even to wield any weapons. The song was a war dirge that her mother would hum every time before she engaged in weapons practice. It had such a catchy little beat that she and Su would hum right alongside her, much to their mother’s delight._ _ _ _ _

_____With that out of the way, she returned her attention to her cooking. As her thought turned to what she had to clean today, the memory of the song drifted out of her mind, almost as though it had never been._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____School had been a bust. Akane held her hand to her head as the aspirin finally gave out. With the passing of the drug her headache returned full force and made her already frayed nerves begin to approach the breaking point. It was yet another miserable day in the life of Akane Tendo._ _ _ _ _

_____It hadn’t always been that way. Things had been a lot better just a short while ago, like the day before yesterday. That was way back when her fiancé knew what his normal sex was, something most women did not have to worry about. For some as yet undiscovered reason Ranma now thought he was a girl. And even worse was the fact that no one had any idea of how to cure him._ _ _ _ _

_____Akane reconsidered that thought. Ranma-chan now walked around in cursed form all the time and reflexively ‘corrected’ everyone when they used the wrong gender when referring to her. Until ‘she’ was cured it would be best to think in female terms, at least for now since it made the redhead so much happier._ _ _ _ _

_____School had been even more arduous than usual. Since the guys in school heard about “Shampoo” finally dating, some of them decided to ask her out. Rather than rejecting the boys advances with a blow to the head, like she usually did, she responded to the flirting in varying degrees of embarrassment rather than rejection, much to Akane and Shampoo-kun’s annoyance. Akane had to chase away close to a dozen potential suitors before Shampoo-kun came up with the solution._ _ _ _ _

_____During lunch the twentieth guy to hit on Ranma-chan had a bad experience. Shampoo-kun stood on top of one of the tables and made a loud public announcement. “This is what happens to whoever hits on Shampoo.” And with that he grabbed the boy, ran with him to one of the windows, and immediately threw him out. Everyone heard the scream of terror end abruptly as he landed in the pool with a loud splash. Shampoo-kun looked confusedly out the window and then announced in a loud, annoyed voice how he had forgotten there was a pool down there._ _ _ _ _

_____No one else came on to Ranma-chan for the rest of the day._ _ _ _ _

_____Now the trio were walking back home, which angered Akane even more. The reason for that was Ranma-chan. Specifically, the way she had grabbed onto Shampoo-kun’s arm as though the boy was going to run off somewhere. And Shampoo-kun wasn’t helping things by just going along with things and not saying a word of protest. Akane had to keep repeating to herself Ranma-chan was not in her right mind and that was the cause of the behavior. If only there was something they could do. Then the idea hit her._ _ _ _ _

_____“Why don’t we take him…her, to Dr. Tofu’s. I’ll bet he can figure out what’s going on.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Aiya!” Shampoo-kun shouted excitedly. “That a great idea, Akane. We should have thought of it before.” Now all they had to do was convince Ranma-chan it was a good idea._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan placed her hand to her chin in thought. “I think that’s a great idea. I haven’t had a regular check up in quite a while. Thank you for looking out for my health.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Sure,” Akane said. That went easier than it could have. Maybe subconsciously Ranma-chan wanted the cure and was assisting them. If that was the case perhaps things would turn out all right._ _ _ _ _

_____The situation was quickly explained to Dr. Tofu, who promptly gave Ranma-chan an extensive battery of tests. All of them came back with the same conclusion: physically there was nothing wrong with Ranma-chan._ _ _ _ _

_____“I think we should send her to a hospital to perform some of the tests I can’t do here, but I’m not very hopeful that they’ll discover anything.” He couldn’t help but notice the looks of abject sorrow on Akane and Shampoo-kun. “Well, Nabiki might be right and it could be psychological. You may want to send her to a psychiatrist.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“That won’t be necessary, doctor,” Ranma-chan calmly said. “As you mentioned, I am perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with me mentally. I couldn’t be happier. Now there is something I want to ask you.” Ranma-chan turned to Akane and Shampoo-kun. “I need to ask some private questions to the doctor. I promise I won’t be long.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Both of the youths did as Ranma-chan requested and left the room._ _ _ _ _

_____“What is it?” Tofu asked._ _ _ _ _

_____“Well,” Ranma-chan was a bit hesitant, but continued. “I wanted to know if you could recommend a good gynecologist. I haven’t seen one. Ever.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Dr. Tofu made a mental note of Ranma-chan’s mental condition: not good. Still, it probably would be a good idea for her to see one. Even if she was cured it would be good to know an expert opinion on exactly what condition the cursed form of Ranma’s had and what limitations there might be. And there was the possibility that Ranma-chan might not ever get cured. If that happened there was no telling what plans the young girl might have that would involve raising a family._ _ _ _ _

_____Upon returning home the trio separated, each lost in their own thoughts. Akane and Shampoo-kun worried about Ranma-chan, who, in turn, worried about the two of them worrying about her, forming a vicious circle. Without telling the others, Ranma-chan decided to break her friends out of their funks, choosing Akane as the first to help._ _ _ _ _

_____It was almost an hour later when Akane passed by the kitchen. She was so depressed she almost missed the sounds of Ranma-chan and Kasumi giggling in the kitchen. Poking her head in to see what the commotion was about, she was spotted by the redhead almost immediately._ _ _ _ _

_____“Come on in Akane,” Ranma-chan invited. “I was just about to get you.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Why?” she asked suspiciously._ _ _ _ _

_____“I know how much you enjoy cooking, so I thought Kasumi and I would teach you how to do it.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Once again Akane was reminded of the differences between ‘Brain Damaged’ Ranma and ‘Normal’ Ranma. If only some of one could be patched onto the other, then she would have a fiancé that was almost perfect, or at least considerate._ _ _ _ _

_____“Okay.” If she had an opportunity to have Ranma-chan, crazed or not, teach her to cook she would be damned if she would let the opportunity slip by. She cracked her knuckles in anticipation of the event, eager to get underway._ _ _ _ _

_____Akane would go on to look back at that session as one of those rare nights where things could have gone a lot worse but didn’t. Everything ended up horribly wrong no matter how hard she tried. But what could have been disastrous evening turned into something of a milestone. After somehow ruining four consecutive dishes, including a salad, she at last managed to boil water successfully and with only a little extra supervision. It might not have been much, but it was a start. And it was easy. All she had to remember was not to do anything other than put water in a pan and turn on the stove, doing absolutely nothing else, even though she thought using grease might make it boil faster._ _ _ _ _

_____And the best part about it was Ranma-chan. After the third failure Akane had expressed giving up on the hopeless task before her, but Ranma-chan remained adamant about continuing and didn’t let her give in. In the end it had paid off, and all because of the cursed boy that had so abruptly come into her life. Too bad it wasn’t the real him._ _ _ _ _

_____In a lot of ways the situation was getting worse as time went on. Ranma-chan had shown more thoughtfulness in two days than she had shown in two months. If only Ranma-chan could be that thoughtful and caring when she was normal, then things would almost be perfect. So many reservations yet so many strong feelings, all wrapped up over one individual. That was Ranma in a nutshell. Only a living contradiction like him could elicit such opposite and powerful feelings in a girl like Akane Tendo._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan was feeling mighty good about herself since Akane had taken her instruction without a word of complaint. She was fairly certain that no more than a week ago Akane would have struck her for critiquing the cooking methods she emplyed, but perseverance paid off and Akane had learned how to boil water with only a minimum of help. It was just like Ranma-chan had told her, if you knew you could take a first step then a second one was sure to follow. It was also much to Saotome’s delight that Akane actually hugged her over that statement. It was a ‘girls’ embrace, of course so there was nothing wrong with it, but it meant a lot of the tension between them was gone. Now if it had been a handsome boy, like Shampoo-kun, that would have been even more cause for celebration. If only he wasn’t avoiding her lately, then perhaps some headway could be made. He was just so handsome, and he had rescued her from her father, and so many other things that Ranma-chan owed him over the last months. The only drawback was that there were times when Shampoo-kun seemed to prefer being a girl to a boy. Why someone as attractive as that would ever want to change was such a mystery. Perhaps Ranma-chan could convince him to stop doing that now that they could officially date, which was all thanks to Ukyou. She was going to have to stop by her oldest friend’s restaurant and offer some gratitude for the assistance._ _ _ _ _

_____The doorbell rang while Ranma-chan was nearby, so she volunteered to get it like any proper and helpful young lady would. Idly, she wondered who could be visiting at that late hour when she opened the door and learned exactly who it was._ _ _ _ _

_____“Hey there, Fem-Boy.”_ _ _ _ _

_____As much as Tarou would hate to admit it, the reaction Ranma-chan had was one of the last one’s he expected._ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh no,” Ranma-chan whispered quietly as she held her hands to her face in fright. Within a moment she was running away in terror into the house, barely keeping from screaming at the intruder. She knew the horrible boy frightened her, that he was capable of being a mean person that didn’t like her, and would just do something terrible to her if he had the chance. It was a great relief when she spotted Shampoo-kun just standing around. The Amazon was taken by surprise as Ranma-chan proceeded to hide herself behind him while looking fearfully at the way she had come._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Tarou stood at the entryway, stunned as his mind tried to process what just happened. After a moment he decided the best course of action was to simply follow the fleeing girl, though he halfway expected a trap. Once inside the sight that greeted him was not something that he expected either. It seemed impossible that Ranma-chan would be cowering behind Shampoo-kun in fear, and that the focus of that fear was Tarou. He pinched himself to make sure it was something other than a dream._ _ _ _ _

_____“Well, Fem-Boy. Nice to see you’re showing some common sense in acknowledging who’s the best here. You just keep hiding behind your boyfriend there and stay out of my way.” Tarou gave a snicker and took one step forward before he noticed the deadly glare the Amazon gave him._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun stood his ground. “Go away, Pantyhose. Or else.”_ _ _ _ _

_____A test of wills erupted between the two. That sort of insult was not the sort that Tarou took lying down while Shampoo-kun was not about to let Pantyhose anywhere near Ranma-chan, especially in her current state of mind._ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou was the first to back off. He had come to the Tendo house for two reasons, neither of them involving Ranma or Shampoo, and if he were to get involved in a fight on this particular ground there was little doubt who would come out looking like bad guy. No, the two martial artists before him would pay for their impertinence later._ _ _ _ _

_____A quick “Boo!” sent Ranma-chan scurrying back nearly half a foot. Tarou just had to find out what that was all about. He headed up to Akane’s room for a little talk with the object of his affections._ _ _ _ _

_____To Akane, Tarou was like a breath of fresh air. His timing was actually pretty good for a change. With Ranma-chan in her current state of mind she was not likely to pick a fight with Tarou, while he was not directly involved with the problems that Akane was currently undergoing. The two of them talked pleasantly with one another, though Akane refused to discuss Ranma-chan’s problem. It would be cured soon enough and it was sort of a family matter._ _ _ _ _

_____There was one tense moment when Tarou tried to convince her to train under him again. With Ranma-chan the way she was now there was no way Akane was going to get the sort of training she needed. But if she did agree to it and Ranma-chan recovered her mind it would represent yet another point of contention between the two of them. Akane refused the offer, though he forced her to admit she would consider it. After a couple of hours of pleasant conversation Akane decided to retire. Tarou refused her offer of helping him to the door and told her to get some rest._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Nabiki was not in a happy mood. Ever since Ranma-chan came ‘out of the closet’ things were in near total chaos. All anyone had time for was helping the brain addled Saotome out or moped around trying to figure out how to help her. Even one of her best sources of money, Kunou, was AWOL. Just as she finally decided to put her mind to it and try to find some way of resolving all of the new crop of problems there was a knock on her door. After she called out it was open she discovered just how much worse things could get._ _ _ _ _

_____“How you doing, Nab-chan?” Tarou asked as he closed the door behind him and made himself comfortable in one of her chairs._ _ _ _ _

_____It took a great deal of self control to just stand there and not grind her teeth in anger. “Why I’m fine. Thank you for asking. And what exactly brings you here?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Akane.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Nabiki could feel her blood pressure rise. Damn, no one had angered her this badly in years, and the feeling had not been missed. “Surely there’s something else.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I heard some rumors around school that Ranma was acting a little strange lately. So tell me what’s going on.”_ _ _ _ _

_____He was hitting all the wrong buttons today. And what did he mean by ‘rumors around school’? He didn’t go to school. It took less than a second for Nabiki to figure out how he had learned of it. He was using her network of people. She knew he had implied as much during their last conversation, but had secretly hoped it was either all a bluff or he only had influence over one or two people. The realization that he was now inside and possible controlling elements of a system she set up was almost enough to make her scream in rage at him. How dare he just come along and subvert something she took years in building. Now he had even more leverage against her._ _ _ _ _

_____It took a moment for her to focus on the matter at hand and answer his question. Should she lie, or did he already know the answer and was testing her honesty? Using the truth was the best way at the moment. Tarou was going to find out sooner or later, and if it was a test she was going to pass with flying colors. Let it appear that she was kowtowing to his every whim in fear. Once he dropped his guard she would crush him._ _ _ _ _

_____“Ranma seems to have had a nervous breakdown. He thinks he’s really a girl.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou nearly fell off the chair in shock. “You’re kidding.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I only wish I were,” she replied. “It’s causing a lot of chaos around here, especially for Akane. She’s really depressed about it.” She hoped that last little bit had dug at the boy._ _ _ _ _

_____Nabiki was partially successful. Tarou did not like hearing that what was soon to be his girl was still getting worked up over the hermaphrodite. Now that he thought about it, she had seemed a little down, and that combined with Ranma-chan’s attitude at the door only served to reinforce Nabiki’s information._ _ _ _ _

_____Knowledge like that needed to be considered over a long period of time. There was now a remarkable opportunity to gain himself a real measure of revenge and get Ranma out of the picture, not that it didn’t appear he wasn’t in the process of doing that himself, or maybe that was herself now. Still, Tarou wanted to add that personal touch to disposing of Ranma. To have Ranma do it to on his own denied Tarou the pleasure of extracting the pound of flesh he so desperately craved. Oh it was so good, the ‘Fem-Boy’ really was one now. Still, Tarou acknowledged that the condition might be temporary, which meant there was not a moment to lose._ _ _ _ _

_____Nabiki watched Tarou gain a wide grin, then get up and move to the door. Before he left he came over to her and smiled._ _ _ _ _

_____“Good job, Nab-chan. Be seeing you. And make sure you have something else for me next time.” He patted her on the head exactly like he would a pet and departed._ _ _ _ _

_____Nabiki stood stock still for one minute. Then another. Then another. She remained as motionless as a statue for a total of five minutes, then slowly moved one quivering hand to a nearby shinai that Akane had left in the room. Nabiki’s hand tightly grasped the handle as she raised it above her head._ _ _ _ _

_____“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane was the first to react to what sounded like a tornado ripping through the house. As soon as she left the confines of her room she figured out where the noise was coming from. Shampoo-kun had vaulted to the top of the steps and was right on Akane’s heels as the two stood outside the door for a moment. Each one tensed up, prepared to fight. Akane threw open the door._ _ _ _ _

_____The sight that greeted them was one of total carnage. Nabiki’s room was in a state of such absolute chaos that it really did appear a tornado had ripped through it. One of her chairs was broken, the shattered ceramic of a vase littered the floor, her bed was overturned, but the most frightening thing of all was Nabiki herself. Even Shampoo-kun was momentarily taken aback from the animal ferocity that was displayed in the girl’s features._ _ _ _ _

_____“Wh…what happened?” Akane managed to get out as the other members of the household made their way to her side. She silently thought that there was no way Nabiki should ever appear as she did now._ _ _ _ _

_____“I saw a rat,” Nabiki explained as she slowly calmed down. “It got away this time, but I’ll get it in the end.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Everyone’s concern grew at that statement. For the first half of it she seemed to be calming down, but the wild look to her eyes returned with a vengeance as she made her ‘vow’ concerning the rodent._ _ _ _ _

_____“I’ll call an exterminator,” Kasumi offered._ _ _ _ _

_____“No!” Nabiki spoke with an air of command now. “I’ll deal with it. You don’t worry about it. He’s all mine.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane slowly closed the door, leaving her sister in the room alone. On the outside nothing appeared wrong with her, but she did not appear to be pleasant company at the moment either. Who would have thought Nabiki hated rats so much?_ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan’s agitation at Tarou’s presence had finally given way to a new emotion she felt, or rather one that had been put off to the side until Tarou had left. It was with a great deal of trepidation that she decided to enter the kitchen and begin talking with Shampoo-kun. It was much to her disappointment that he was no longer present, at least not as a male. Instead, he was a she at the moment, having evidently decided to use some hot water. Ranma-chan sighed depressively. Why Shampoo-kun would want his, admittedly nice, but ultimately female body, when his male one was so handsome just didn’t make sense. Maybe the poor boy was confused. Ranma-chan would help fix it and then she could get on with more important things._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo was surprised to emerge from the kitchen and get immediately doused with cold water from behind. She didn’t need to look in the direction to know who the offender was._ _ _ _ _

_____“Sorry about that,” Ranma-chan explained. “It was an accident.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Oh, Shampoo-kun was relatively certain it was no accident, since it was the fifth time in two days that an unexpected cold water splashing had happened. It seemed that no matter where he was, when he was in his proper female form, Ranma-chan was lurking behind some corner, waiting to ambush him within minutes of a change. She had to be stalking him, she just had to be._ _ _ _ _

_____“It no problem, Ranma,” he told Ranma-chan as she handed him a towel that she was ‘coincidentally’ carrying at the moment._ _ _ _ _

_____“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” she said shyly as Shampoo-kun handed back the towel._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun smiled at the girl and was rewarded with one of her own. “What is it?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“When are you going to take me out on that date?”_ _ _ _ _

_____So that was what it was about. That was not good. Shampoo-kun was certainly going to hold Ranma-chan to going out with him, but only after she recovered her mind. Going out with Ranma-chan while she was behaving like a girl was not his idea of an enjoyable time. What he wanted was for them to go out in their normal forms and act like they would if Ranma-chan hadn’t mentally switched genders. It was going to be perfect, just like the original date he had planned for the two of them was supposed to be. Of course those plans had been ruined in the worst way possible back then, so who knew how the next one would end up. Maybe going out with Ranma-chan as they were wouldn’t be so bad, but it was not what he really wanted either. No, it was better to wait until Ranma-chan remembered she was really a boy._ _ _ _ _

_____“I pretty busy now. It might be a while.”_ _ _ _ _

_____The wounded look she gave him cut right through his heart. It did not matter that Ranma-chan wasn’t exactly herself. Shampoo-kun had grown too familiar with Saotome going around as a girl to think of her as anything other than ‘Ranma’ no matter what shape her mind was in._ _ _ _ _

_____“If you don’t want to go out, I don’t mind.” Ranma-chan shoulders sagged as she held her head down and turned to leave._ _ _ _ _

_____There was no way Shampoo-kun was going to let her walk off like that. He grabbed Ranma-chan by the shoulder, causing the girl to stop and turn around._ _ _ _ _

_____“I want to go out with you, so no think that way.” And with that he bent down and kissed the girl’s forehead._ _ _ _ _

_____The reaction was instantaneous as Ranma-chan turned just as red as her shirt then skipped off with a smile on her face. Shampoo-kun mentally made a note that it was a whole lot easier to get Ranma-chan to smile like this, even if she was sick in the head. Now if only he could please Saotome when she was sane…_ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Akari’s search took her down one of the side streets of Nerima. At this time she was not searching for Shampoo. The pig farmer knew where the Amazon was. Her search was for someone altogether different. Someone who would help her in her quest for vengeance._ _ _ _ _

_____Akari wasn’t foolish, just inexperienced at the revenge game. Her confrontation with Shampoo and the boy who should have been her husband, Ranma, proved that. The duo had been weakened to the point that Akari should have been able to take them, but in the end she had been beaten easily. It took a while for her to figure out exactly why that was: she was vulnerable in human form. And now that they knew her weakness it would be easy to exploit it. That was unless she had some ally to help her. Asking around gained her a lot of information. Ranma and Shampoo seemed to have angered a lot of people and there was no shortage of potential allies to help her in her scheme._ _ _ _ _

_____Choosing a candidate was a little more difficult. An awful lot of them seemed pretty scary to her. The likes of the Dojo Destroyer, Tarou (who turned into an ugly monster), and the horrible pervert, Happosai were not the sort of people she would feel comfortable around. She was about to resort to asking one of the scary ones when she was informed of a recent foe who sounded almost nice. He was normal, a good fighter, and from what she had heard just had a little bad luck. From the description she had he sounded like the ideal ally who wouldn’t try to take advantage of her. It was a lucky break that one of the people she had asked had given her a photo of the boy as she started walking the streets, trying to find out his location. Wherever he was staying at he was keeping a low profile._ _ _ _ _

_____At last Akari spotted a group of youths clustered together on one of the side streets. She hoped they would know where the boy was. Frustration was starting to get to her._ _ _ _ _

_____“Excuse me,” she asked politely of one of the boys. “Perhaps you could help me. Have you seen this man?” She handed him the picture._ _ _ _ _

_____The boy in the fox mask carefully looked the picture over. “Nope. Can’t say I have.” He carefully handed the picture back to Akari, then pulled a knife. “Now, give us all your precious metals and you won’t get hurt.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I don’t carry any precious metals with me,” Akari explained as the rest of the animal masked youths surrounded her. It was an unusual question, she didn’t think she looked like a miner._ _ _ _ _

_____“All right then. Give us all your money!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Now Akari understood. “You’re a bunch of robbers!”_ _ _ _ _

_____The Mask Gang all looked at one another in a bewildered manner, shrugged, then returned their attention to Akari. “Yes, we are.”_ _ _ _ _

_____What was the world coming to when you couldn’t trust masked gangs of men? Well, she just couldn’t let them rob her. It was wrong. Fear began to blossom in her chest until she remembered one very important detail she could use under these circumstances._ _ _ _ _

_____“Umm,” The fox began to mumble as the girl pulled out a canteen from around her belt. “I’m not thirsty.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Neither am I.” And with that she dumped the water over her head._ _ _ _ _

_____The fox gave an anguished sigh of despair as he watched the girl before him transform into a sumo-razorback._ _ _ _ _

_____“I hate this fucking town.”_ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____The next day all but Ranma-chan had gathered around the stairs, waiting to go to school. Since the blow to the head, the redhead had been the first one downstairs every morning. Yet another example of how different Ranma-chan was when she thought she was female. Akane was about to check on her when Saotome finally hurried down and joined the others._ _ _ _ _

_____“Sorry I’m late,” she apologized. “How do I look?”_ _ _ _ _

_____All three of the school students stared at Ranma-chan in varying degrees of disbelief. She looked different all right._ _ _ _ _

_____“You’re wearing make-up,” Akane said, flustered._ _ _ _ _

_____“Did I do a good job? I didn’t want to use too much and look trashy.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun took charge of the situation. “You look very nice, Ranma. We have to go now or we be late for school.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan squealed in delight at the compliment and attached herself to Shampoo-kun’s arm, leading the two of them out the door._ _ _ _ _

_____“Well, it looks like Shampoo is starting to adjust to things and Ranma doesn’t seem to mind one bit,” Nabiki commented towards the departing forms while affording a sidelong glance to see what Akane’s reaction was. It was no surprise to see a scowl on her younger sister’s brow as Akane muttered she didn’t give a damn what the pervert did and with whom._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Ukyou looked down at the brochure again with barely restrained glee. It was the perfect plan. All she needed to do was convince Ryouga (too bad he was caught up in all of this), Kyoko (too bad it wasn’t a more painful solution), and Ai (the only other victim, but sacrifices had to be made). The only difficulty she had in unleashing the plan on the other three was timing. She was not going to do it right away, not that any of them would perceive it for what it was. It would be better to wait until all of them got to school._ _ _ _ _

_____Both cheerleaders were waiting outside for their ‘mates’ to show up and escort them to school. Oh what fun she was going to have in ridding herself of all her problems in one fell swoop. She kept the brochure tucked in her hand just to make sure it didn’t mysteriously disappear and wouldn’t be there to show the others. The Tendo contingent linked up as the now eight students headed for Furinkan._ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou was lost in a fantasy of how Ryouga would react to Kyoko’s abrupt departure when Ranma-chan spoke up. “Hey Ucchan, What’s that in your hand?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou turned in surprise. She had wanted to unveil it after Ranma-chan and the others had left. Now it was going to look bad if she waited to reveal her discovery after Ranma-chan had specifically asked about it._ _ _ _ _

_____“It’s a travel brochure for a really neat vacation spot. A ‘tunnel of love’ sort of thing. I wanted to know if Ryouga and Kyoko wanted to come with Ai and me when we go there tomorrow.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ai nearly fell over in disbelief. “You’re asking me on a date?”_ _ _ _ _

_____That caused Ukyou to break out in a sweat. “Not a date. Just a little vacation as friends.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ai didn’t hear a word of that. She simply began doing cartwheels and shouted out how she was going on a date with her true love._ _ _ _ _

_____“Thanks a lot for asking us along,” Kyoko gushed as she hung onto Ryouga’s arm. “I’m glad we’re such good friends.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou sweatdropped bigtime at the little statement. Funny how Kyoko was the only one unaware of the tension that Ukyou displayed whenever the peppy little creature was around. Kyoko wasn’t going to think a lot of her ‘friend’ when she discovered it was really a ‘Tunnel of Lost Love’ that they were really going to. Too bad that part of the brochure had been mysteriously torn out. Now the only doubt Ukyou had was wondering if the magic of the cave could break the magic of the love pill._ _ _ _ _

_____The restrained delight the okonomiyaki chef felt disappeared quickly as Ranma-chan spoke up. “I’d love to go there, wouldn’t you?” she sighed dreamily to her Amazon companion._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun was suddenly torn in two directions at once. One was the desire to spend some time with Ranma-chan, and in the moody atmosphere of a tunnel of love there would be an abundance of the emotion Shampoo-kun wanted. On the downside, Ranma-chan thought she was a girl and would no doubt act the part to the hilt, expecting Shampoo-kun to make all the moves. Ordinarily that was not a problem, but such an incident might encourage Ranma-chan to remain in her state, even if she did look nice wearing a bit of make-up._ _ _ _ _

_____“You have got to be kidding,” Akane interrupted before Shampoo-kun could answer. “Exactly why are you asking him to go with you?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan looked curiously at Akane for a moment, then realized why she was so irritated. “You don’t have anyone to go with. We can fix that. Hey! Gosunkugi!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Gosunkugi, who had been wandering close by, walked over to where Ranma-chan was._ _ _ _ _

_____“Would you like to accompany us to a tunnel of love?” Ranma-chan asked. “I know Minami isn’t back yet, and Akane doesn’t have anyone to go with right now, so I think you would be doing her a big favor if you would escort her.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Gosunkugi considered that for a moment. It was true that he was very lonely with Minami’s absence, although Sayuri was kind enough to be paying him some attention and trying to make him feel better, and going out with the closest thing he had to friends would be uplifting, so after only a moment’s hesitation he accepted._ _ _ _ _

_____“Now you won’t be lonely, Akane.” Ranma-chan smiled in joy at curing Akane’s loneliness for the trip._ _ _ _ _

_____Akane just gave a disgusted look and chose to head into school. She kept reminding herself Ranma-chan was sick in the head and that any…physical disagreements Akane had with her might result in permanent damage. Not that Shampoo-kun was making things any better. Akane would almost swear the Amazon liked Ranma-chan in her current state. She was going to have to keep a closer eye on the two of them just to make sure nothing unusual happened._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Interlude_ _ _ _ _

_____The next day:  
China:_ _ _ _ _

_____The Shogun of the Dark gazed over the tubes in which four of the Devils of Kimone currently resided. The process of augmentation was very time consuming, and worse, it used up a great deal of his personal power, magical energy that he could ill afford to lose. It was true that he had been planning for this day for centuries, but no matter how he had tried, the fact of the matter was the whole plan was going to be cut close._ _ _ _ _

_____He had anticipated the power levels necessary to employ, and still had some surplus with which to risk, but it was more important that he had good foot soldiers to take care of any unexpected problems that might come up. With the Devils bound as they were to him, their unwavering loyalty was a given. This time at least. There would be no rebellion tolerated this time. The Shogun learned from his mistakes._ _ _ _ _

_____Gemma was the first to burst forth from the energy matrix cocoon that had boosted his already considerable power. That was no surprise, he was the only one that was had been alive the entire time. It was just as well, Gemma was the most reliable one for the task at hand. Once his loyalty was ensured anyway._ _ _ _ _

_____Gemma was still flexing his muscles as he felt the newfound power course through his body. The Shogun took note of that and began to inform Gemma of exactly what changes he had undergone._ _ _ _ _

_____“Your entire body is at least four times more powerful than what it once was. Speed, strength, stamina, everything. And your personal abilities have been increased even more.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Gemma continued flexing. He would need practice to use his newfound effectively. “Most impressive. The others will undergo the treatment with the same results?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Yes.” The Shogun nodded under his cowl. “They will take longer. Now, I have a mission for you. We are moving our base of operations to here in China. I was hesitant to move so close to where the final phase will take place, lest my enemies stumble upon what I have been planning and interfere. We could have afforded a battle in Japan but we could not suffer one here. At least until now. The time approaches and the last preparations need to be underway.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Gemma nodded in understanding. He had wondered why the Shogun had elected to enhance the quartet that was with him. That also explained why he wanted the blood shipped to this location too._ _ _ _ _

_____The Shogun continued. “I need you to gather the remaining Devils and the rest of my equipment and bring them over here personally. I will arrange it so you do not have to worry about transportation or importing it from Japan. Just get the things to the right place at the right time.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Gemma bowed and turned to go when the Shogun spoke up once more. “And Gemma, remember to keep a low profile. All of you. This is the eve of our greatest hour, yet we are still extremely vulnerable. Do not cause any disturbances and avoid useless conflict. I would be most displeased. Do you understand?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Gemma nodded as he set out for Japan. The Shogun’s leash was tight around his neck and there would be no betrayals this time. Besides, his already impressive abilities were now permanently enhanced and instead of simply ruling Japan, he would now help rule the world. Somehow, he thought he could live with that._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____End Interlude_ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Frustration tore at Ukyou’s soul. This one incident was only surpassed by Ranma leaving her at the side of the road as far as horrible events went._ _ _ _ _

_____“Did you have to throw me at the ghosts? What if they had tried to hurt me?” Ranma-chan scolded as she made her way from the exit of the cave with everyone else._ _ _ _ _

_____“It was the quickest way to convince them we weren’t a couple, so quit your wining,” Ryouga reprimanded. Being attacked by a horde of ghosts that thought he and Ranma-chan were an item was enough to make him nauseous. And throwing the redhead at the spirits was surprisingly satisfying._ _ _ _ _

_____“I suppose you’re right. I wouldn’t want anyone to think we were a couple.” Ranma-chan’s eyes went to Shampoo-kun as she said that. Perhaps it was a good thing she had not encountered those spirits with Shampoo-kun. The ghosts would have been determined to break the two of them up, even if they weren’t officially an item…yet._ _ _ _ _

_____“I can’t believe they thought we were going out with one another,” Akane said disgustedly to the person she had been stuck with on the last leg of the journey._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun appeared just as upset. “You think I’m happy? I rather get stuck as a boy than get stuck with you.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Would you two relax.” Kyoko was happily engaged at trying to play the role of peacemaker. “It’s a good thing I had Gosunkugi with me. Those spirit wards must have worked because we weren’t attacked or anything.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Or they were afraid of what he looked like,” Shampoo-kun mumbled under his breath as he examined Gosunkugi, who was covered head to toe in makeshift spirit wards._ _ _ _ _

_____“That was a close one, my love,’ Ai said to Ukyou._ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou gave a soft sob. Why couldn’t things work out just once? The plan had seemed so foolproof. Well, actually it was, and she was the biggest fool in it. She began to wonder if there was some higher power trying to screw her over._ _ _ _ _

_____Things had started out well. Ukyou went in with Ai, Kyoko with Ryouga, Shampoo-kun with Ranma-chan, Akane and Gosunkugi. They had fought off some ghosts, Kyoko cowering next to Ryouga while Ai protected Ukyou from attacks. Shampoo-kun and Akane were fighting for their couples with much success, and then disaster struck. Kunou had at last tracked down the ‘villainous Saotome’ and attempted to destroy Shampoo-kun again. Only this time Shampoo-kun was ready and dodged the attack. Kunou’s sword shattered a critical support pillar and brought down a huge section of the cave, separating everyone into different couples while burying himself in the process. The only duo that had remained intact was Ai and Ukyou. If Ai could have been broken of her obsession then the trip would have been worth it, but things hadn’t turned out that way._ _ _ _ _

_____“It’s a good thing they’re old fashioned ghosts and don’t believe in same-sex relationships,” Ai commented, eliciting yet another sob from Ukyou._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Somewhere, deep within the bowels of the cave, Kunou began to stir. The spirits surrounding his unconscious form were at something of a loss. How could they make a person fall out of love with himself, like this youth was?_ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____A couple more days passed without any sign of improvement and Akane was beginning to lose hope. Ranma-chan had gone to the hospital for further examinations and all of them turned up nothing. They couldn’t force her to go to a psychiatrist either without exposing the Jusenkyou curse and raising a whole lot of uncomfortable questions. And since she insisted she was perfectly fine, and actually behaved like a normal girl, no doctor was going to be able to effectively evaluate her. There were no more options that came to mind and Akane was at a loss of what to do._ _ _ _ _

_____What was almost as frustrating as Ranma-chan’s continued feminine conduct was the way Shampoo-kun was treating her. It was almost as though the Amazon was enjoying the behavior, encouraging it in fact. He never refused Ranma-chan’s attention, let her glomp onto his arm, and Akane had even seen the redhead hug him once. When Akane exploded on Ranma-chan she had begun to cry, making Akane even more miserable than she already was. At least Shampoo-kun had kept his mouth closed up to that point. It felt like each hour that passed the real Ranma was getting further and further away._ _ _ _ _

_____It was almost like Akane was living with a stranger, but that wasn’t exactly true either. Yes, Ranma-chan was far from acting normal, but every now and then she would behave in some manner that she used to do before the accident, which only served to remind Akane of what she had lost._ _ _ _ _

_____Enough was enough. It was time to take action. Nabiki had gone out earlier while Kasumi and Ranma-chan had gone shopping for yet more dresses, leaving the others to their own devices. Akane ran through the house and gathered everyone together, saying it was time to do something about Ranma-chan’s condition before it got any worse._ _ _ _ _

_____Once all four sat at the table Akane opened the discussion. “We have got to do something. Has anyone come up with any ideas?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“We could use some Nanniichuan on him. There’s no way he’d think he’s a girl if he was cured,” Genma proposed._ _ _ _ _

_____“Why don’t we go with a cure we can actually employ,” Akane stated._ _ _ _ _

_____“We could force the two of you to get married,” Soun offered. “If he’s involved in a marriage he’ll have to perform his husbandly duties and that might shock him back.” That plan received Genma’s mark of approval._ _ _ _ _

_____Akane shook her head. Even now they were still at it. “Let’s go with something a bit less drastic.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane had beaten Shampoo from offering her take on that plan. There was no way she was going to let them take advantage of Ranma-chan while she was like that. “I not think the Xi Fa Xiang any good under these conditions. It can only erase a certain set of memories. I not good enough to erase a whole persona, and it might harm the real Ranma.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Silence dominated the quartet until Genma came up with yet another plan. “We could always send him into his neko-state.”_ _ _ _ _

_____That gained him evil gleams from Akane and Shampoo._ _ _ _ _

_____He noticed the expressions and panicked. Wasn’t anyone ever going to forgive him for one small error in judgment? “N…now wait! The idea has some merit. Right now he’s having mental problems. Perhaps another one can overcome it and snap him back into reality.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“And what we do if that not work, Pop?” Shampoo growled “You want to wrap him up in chains and thrown him into a pit of hungry boys?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Well now there’s an idea. It might sound a bit extreme, but if it worked onc—“ The rest was cut off as his head was stomped into the table by twin blows from Akane and Shampoo._ _ _ _ _

_____A ringing doorbell interrupted further punishment. Akane answered the door to see an unfamiliar older woman carrying a child along in a stroller._ _ _ _ _

_____“Is this the home of Shampoo?” she asked,_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane was about to respond when she remembered one annoying question that absolutely had to be asked. “What does she look like?” How she hated the name game that had to be played in her own home._ _ _ _ _

_____The woman appeared confused at the question. “Short with red hair.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Yes,” Akane nodded. “but she isn’t here right now.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh. I just wanted to thank her for saving myself and my child the other day. I also wanted to make sure she wasn’t hurt from that awful girder falling on her head.”_ _ _ _ _

_____This was all news to Akane, and something about the situation made her feel this was something important. “Shampoo didn’t mention anything like that happening. What don’t you come inside and tell us exactly what happened.”_ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____An hour later Akane escorted the woman out the door, then quickly returned to the table where the others had listened to the discussion._ _ _ _ _

_____“So, are you all thinking what I’m thinking?” Genma asked._ _ _ _ _

_____Akane nodded. “It sounds like Ranma got hit in the head and started acting weird. The timing’s right and even the lady said he was acting different afterwards.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“So we can cure him by hitting him in the head. It sounds easy.” Soun punched his fist into his palm as an example of what had to be done._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo was the only one with any hesitation. “I not sure about this.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“There’s nothing to be concerned about. My boy will be back to normal once I hit him on the head.” Genma began going through the house, looking for instruments with which to inflict blunt trauma._ _ _ _ _

_____“What if it not cure him?” Shampoo offered worriedly. “What if it makes him worse?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“How can he get any worse?” Akane protested. “He never changes form. He wears dresses and make-up all the time now. And he seems to like the attention he’s getting from the boys.” That last comment was unmistakably directed at Shampoo._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo kept her temper in check. Akane did raise some good points, even if one was a cheap shot. Besides, it just meant Akane was jealous that she wasn’t the center of attention anymore. It wasn’t like she appreciated Ranma anyhow._ _ _ _ _

_____“Okay,” Shampoo relented. “We hit him on the head and make him better.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Good,” Akane pulled one of her mallets out and gave it a practice swing. She paused a moment in an effort to remember the last time she had done so, and was surprised to discover she could not recall when that was. Ranma really had been getting better, even before the personality switch. Akane was astonished at how much anticipation she felt at that. It was like Ranma had gone on a trip and was at long last coming back._ _ _ _ _

_____They took up strategic positions throughout the house. Akane offered to be the first to attack, taking up cover next to the door. Genma and Soun were going to act as a roving team while Shampoo guarded the backdoor. That was the reserve position and the least likely to have to attack Ranma, which suited Shampoo just fine. In fact, she was having serious doubts about the whole thing. Striking Ranma was the last thing she wanted to do, even if he would be back to normal. She had promised to protect him. It took close to ten minutes to convince herself she was doing this to protect him from himself, so that made it all right. Of course the last time she used that rationale she ended up kicking Genma and apologizing to Ranma-chan for abandoning her, and she swore she wouldn’t do it again._ _ _ _ _

_____But this wasn’t really abandonment. They now knew the best chance to cure Ranma was going to be a blow to the head, even he could suffer one if it would make him well again. There wasn’t any choice. It had to be done this time._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo went outside the door and sat down, curling her arms around her legs. All the worrying was for nothing. Akane would take care of matters and Shampoo wouldn’t even have to witness what happened. She would just come in to see the aftereffects. Maybe she would even glomp onto Ranma was he was back to normal, showing her appreciation for his return. And she did want him back. Akane was wrong when she implied otherwise, at least that was what Shampoo told herself._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Mousse-panda wandered through the halls of Kunou Manor aimlessly. He was currently in his cursed form thanks to Kodachi’s crazed father, who upon finding out about the curse, threw some water on him and offered to relieve Mousse-panda of all that excess hair. The man was totally obsessed._ _ _ _ _

_____The morning’s workout had proven to Mousse that his lingering injuries had at long last fully healed and that he was back up to full strength. Now the only problem was what to do with that strength. Nothing was coming to mind. No plans to win Shampoo’s hand. No ingenious plots to break Saotome’s control over her. No way to avenge himself for the wrongs Ranma had done to him personally. There was just nothing. It had literally been years since Mousse had been this depressed. It was almost as though he was finally growing tired of the rejection he seemed to receive at everyone’s hand. At least Kodachi was there to give him moral support._ _ _ _ _

_____What he needed now was something to spark his interests again. Perhaps a new way of doing things. He could not ask Kodachi, it would be wrong to ask that of her, but if there was someone else, that might be different. It was almost unfortunate the old ghoul had not returned from her little mission back home. He hoped she would at least find out how his family was doing for him. Communication with them was unwise since letters were postmarked and someone might try to follow the trail back to him and discover the truth about Shampoo and her curse._ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse-panda had almost made it to the baths when the ceiling before him suddenly caved in. Gleaming blades were out even before the wreckage stuck the floor. A huge figure slowly descended from the newly made opening and gently landed next to Mousse-panda._ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou-bull waved at Mousse-panda._ _ _ _ _

_____*What do you want here?* Mousse-panda asked. Tarou had been absent for weeks, which suited Mousse-panda just fine. He never liked the verbal barbs the flake always leveled at him. Too bad he was a better fighter in either form._ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou-bull just snorted and indicated with his hands they should seek hot water. Mousse-panda led the two to the palatial baths and used it to change back into their proper forms._ _ _ _ _

_____“What do you want?” Mousse asked once again._ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou snickered in response. “I found out something about Fem-boy you’re just going to love. ”_ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse’s interest was suddenly piqued. Hatred of Ranma was the only thing the two could agree upon._ _ _ _ _

_____“He thinks he’s a girl for real. I back-checked it myself. He’s nothing more than a hopeless little damsel in distress. He even has enough sense to run away from me in fear. HAHAHAHAHA!!!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse shut out Tarou’s laughter as he allowed the information to sink in. If it really were true, and Tarou hadn’t screwed up, then this really was a golden opportunity to give back a little of what he had received as well as free Shampoo from Saotome’s corrupting influence._ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse decided to interrupt the continuous string of annoying laughter. “What are we going to do about it?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou stopped laughing “Funny you should ask,” he began. “It took me a while, but I think I’ve come up with something you’re going to like.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse listened to the plan. It really was something else. Very sinister. Very sinister indeed. All that was needed was to find and isolate Ranma. What was going to happen to him would not be for prying eyes._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan hurried up to the door of the house. It had been a wonderful shopping expedition and she had bought three new dresses. All of them were just perfect, and she couldn’t wait to show Shampoo-kun and see what he thought about them. Kasumi was certainly a good judge of such things and helped out Ranma-chan pick out the dresses. In return the redhead helped Kasumi pick out a dress of her own. It was a little different from what she ordinarily wore in that it had a lower neckline than usual. Actually it was extremely risqué by Kasumi’s standards, which surprised Ranma-chan. The older girl was usually so conservative._ _ _ _ _

_____There was something else bothering Ranma-chan. She had jokingly asked Kasumi if she was trying to impress some man. Kasumi just laughed at the jest until Ranma-chan jokingly implied that it might be Shampoo-kun. At that Kasumi blushed a little and told Ranma-chan not to be silly. There was nothing between the two of them._ _ _ _ _

_____In Ranma-chan’s eyes denials like that were cause for immediate suspicion. She stopped to think about exactly what relationship Shampoo-kun and Kasumi might have, and came to some very disturbing conclusions. Maybe there was something going on. After all, they were engaged at one time and Ranma-chan knew that Kasumi regarded the Amazon as attractive. Who didn’t? And then there was that three day trip the two of them had taken alone. How could Kasumi keep her hands off of someone like him for three whole days when the two of them were totally alone? It simply did not seem possible._ _ _ _ _

_____So that meant that Kasumi was now something of a threat. Well, not really a threat since she was older than Shampoo-kun. Everyone knew older women were nowhere near as desirable as younger ones. Of course it also meant they were more experienced in love as well, which made them dangerous. Or in Kasumi’s case not so much dangerous, no one that nice could ever be considered dangerous, as much as a temptation. Perhaps that possibility was what Ranma-chan needed to get her moving. Shampoo-kun seemed slow on the uptake, though it was nice that he treated Ranma-chan like a lady instead of a woman of loose morals. It was likely he was waiting for Ranma-chan to make the first move and let him know how far she would go. So if her courage held up she would be visiting his room tonight, after everyone else was asleep, and the two would…find something to do, except go all the way. That was saved for marriage. However, a little necking wouldn’t hurt. It might even help in fact. At last she could enjoy those full lips that Amazon possessed. And his mighty…_ _ _ _ _

_____She allowed her thoughts to trail off as she opened the door to the house and began to enter. That was when something in the back of her mind suddenly sprang to attention. It was an instinct that allowed Ranma-chan to automatically leap back into the house and out of the way of the descending hammer that had been poised to strike her. Once she avoided the blow she managed a glance to see who the attacker was._ _ _ _ _

_____“Akane?” Ranma-chan looked on in shock. “Why? I thought we were friends.”_ _ _ _ _

_____That hurt Akane but she forced herself to concentrate on the task at hand. “I have to make you better. Trust me. You’ll thank me for this once we’re done.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan instinctively ducked another swing. “What do you mean?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Listen to me,” Akane began to explain. “You were hit in the back of the head and it changed your personality. You are really a boy who mistakenly thinks she’s a girl. If I hit you in the head you’ll get better.” She inhaled deeply, praying that that was what would happen, then continued. “I don’t want to do this, believe me. I just want you to get better. Now stand still.”_ _ _ _ _

_____A third swing missed as Ranma-chan cautiously backed up. “I told you I’m a girl. Don’t try to change me. I like what I am. Why can’t you like it?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Because it’s a lie.” Akane gritted her teeth. “You have to be true to yourself and what you are. And you are a boy!”_ _ _ _ _

_____A fourth swing was dodged. “I thought you were my friend. But you’re trying to hurt me even though I told you not to and that I’m happy.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane stopped at that comment. “I am your friend and I hate doing this. But once you get hit you’ll understand better.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan was surprised as Akane suddenly stopped moving forward. She hoped that meant her ex-fiancee had come to her senses, wishing things could go back to the way they were, when she sensed yet two more attacks coming from beside the doorway she had just passed. Ranma-chan deftly dodged out of the way of the blows that had been leveled at her head by the fathers._ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh, Father. Mr. Tendo,” Ranma-chan moaned. “Not you too?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Stand still and be a man!” Genma roared as he took another swing at his son’s head._ _ _ _ _

_____“It’s for your own good, son,” Soun bawled. At least he was showing reluctance at bludgeoning his future son-in-law._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan avoided both those attacks as well. Once clear of the recent set of assaults she backed up into the kitchen in the hopes of gaining some room. She never hurt anyone. Why couldn’t they just leave her be? She was happy for the first time in a long while and now everyone was trying to take it away. Her family and friends were trying to hurt her without any cause or justification when all she wanted was to be loved and cared for, and give those emotions in return to the others. It was like hell. At least she could expect this behavior from the likes of Mousse or Pantyhose, but these were the people she cared about. At least Shampoo-kun wasn’t involved, she thought silently as she tried to go out the back porch. Once out in the open she could run away and all of her friends wouldn’t try to hurt her. Maybe they would even go back to normal in a little while and everything would turn out all right._ _ _ _ _

_____She kept her eyes on the others as she made her way through the doorway to the porch and was about to run off when she sensed yet another attack coming from her flank. As she tensed to leap away she caught a glimpse of who the attacker was. Upon seeing her Ranma-chan simply stood there._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Shampoo silently cursed the others for screwing up the ambush and driving Ranma-chan to her. Why couldn’t Akane have connected now that it really mattered? Of all the terrible punishment Akane had leveled at her fiancé this was the one time when it was actually necessary. Perhaps she had planned it that way so the Amazon would be the bad guy in the situation and Ranma would resent Shampoo instead of Akane. Shampoo wouldn’t have put it past her, maybe she had started taking lessons from Nabiki._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo hid beside the door hoping one of the others would connect before Ranma-chan made it over next to her. It was not to be. The others were instead deliberately driving the redhead to Shampoo, leaving her to do all the dirty work. The scum._ _ _ _ _

_____She saw she had a clear path to the back of Ranma-chan’s head as the shorter girl backed up through the doorway, unaware of Shampoo’s presence. All it would take was one quick blow and everything would be back to normal. She brought her bonbori down from an upward swing and aimed for the back of Ranma-chan’s head, the pigtail making a good place to help target the blow. Just as she started to descend with the strike Ranma-chan turned and caught a glimpse of her. Shampoo silently cursed herself for moving too slow. With Ranma-chan’s reflexes she was going to be able to narrowly avoid the blow. It was much to Shampoo’s surprise that Ranma-chan tensed up to leap, then stopped as recognition dawned on the girl. Rather than continue her preparation to leap she instead relaxed and just stared into Shampoo’s eyes, the look of pain and betrayal clear on Ranma-chan’s face. Shampoo closed her eyes rather than look at the face that was directed at her._ _ _ _ _

_____She continued her swing downward and felt the bonbori shatter into what it connected with. Shampoo opened her eyes to see that she had somehow missed at point blank range and hit the wooden floorboards next to where Ranma-chan was standing._ _ _ _ _

_____Both girls stared at each other in surprise. Ranma-chan was the first to react as she used the opening to escape by leaping off and over the wall of the Tendo grounds, leaving Shampoo in her follow-through pose._ _ _ _ _

_____“YOU IDIOT!!!” Akane yelled as she raged at Shampoo. “You had him dead to rights and you let him go!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo stood up straight and glared at Akane. “You is the one that gets off on hitting him! Not me!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane began glowing dull blue. “I do not enjoy it. And I think you didn’t do it because you prefer him acting like a girl!”_ _ _ _ _

_____“What that supposed to mean?!” Shampoo began glowing dull blue as well._ _ _ _ _

_____“I’ve seen the way he acts around you. Always hanging all over and making those eyes at you. You like the attention he gives you when he’s a girl.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Maybe you is just jealous because he never looks at you that way!” Shampoo snapped back._ _ _ _ _

_____Both girls drew back, ready to start fighting one another when Kasumi, who had entered the house, spoke up. “Isn’t there something more important than disagreeing with one another, like figuring out where Ranma went to.”_ _ _ _ _

_____The girls reluctantly backed off from one another and considered what to do next. Akane was the first to come up with an idea._ _ _ _ _

_____“If he’s on the run then he’ll probably go to Ukyou’s.” She went over to the phone and gave the chef a call. Even if Ranma did not show up there it would help to have another pair of eyes searching for him._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Ukyou placed the receiver back in its cradle. The store had but one customer in it, leaving Ryouga sitting on a chair next to the counter while taking his break._ _ _ _ _

_____“Good news,” she informed her waiter. “I’m going to let you hit Ranma.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ryouga was on his feet in an instant. “He’s hurt you again, hasn’t he? I knew he was no good and that you should stay away from him! I haven’t said this in a long time, but now I really mean it! RANMA!!! PREPARE TO D—“_ _ _ _ _

_____*WHAM*_ _ _ _ _

_____Ryouga held the top of his head in pain. “What did you do that for?” Ukyou could swing that spatula with a vengeance._ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou held the weapon up, fully prepared to hit him again if he didn’t get the message the first time. Ryouga’s head was awful hard. “I didn’t say you could kill him and he didn’t do anything to me. He got hit in the head before and thinks he’s a girl. That’s why he was coming onto you. Akane thinks another blow to the head will cure him.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh,” was all Ryouga could come up with. At least Ranma really wasn’t interested in him. Praise all the kami._ _ _ _ _

_____“I want him alive, so I’ll be the one to hit him. If he tries getting away grab him so I’ll have a better target. Akane seems to think he’ll be coming here and we should be prepared for him.” Ukyou was surprised that striking Ranma didn’t seem to bother her as much as she thought it would. She at least suspected why that was so. She never did get to pay Ranma back for dumping her all those years ago. Shampoo was the first one she mistook for him and when she found out the eventual truth she had forgiven the real Ranma. Of course the majority of that craving for vengeance was out of her system, and the desire to beat the crap out of a guy that angered her was now directed at a different individual. But even though she would ultimately do anything for him, there was some small part of her that was going to derive just the tiniest bit of pleasure out of hearing him go ‘ouch’._ _ _ _ _

_____Ryouga maintained a watch outside the restaurant, practically jumping up and down in anticipation. Even watching Ukyou smack Ranma in the head would be a real treat, and it would get rid of that annoying personality defect he had developed. Then at some later opportunity Ryouga could pay him back for the embarrassing way Ranma-chan had come onto him the other day. Oh how he would pay for doing that._ _ _ _ _

_____Not more than fifteen minutes after the call Ryouga spotted Ranma-chan coming from down the street. Quickly he rushed inside and alerted Ukyou to the upcoming arrival._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Akane had been correct in her guesswork. Ranma-chan went to Ukyou’s in the hopes of finding some moral support from her second best female friend, after Akane. Ukyou would understand, just like she had when Ranma-chan had to break off the engagement that her father had foolishly arranged. Why her father had such a fixation of marrying his daughter to another woman was really bizarre. Ranma-chan shuddered as she hoped that she would never develop her father’s judgment. There was no telling how many lives she would damage if she did even half of the things he had done._ _ _ _ _

_____Just as Ranma-chan entered the doorway of Uk-Chan’s she paused instinctively. Three times she had been ambushed by doorways and she wasn’t about to enter this one without checking first. It was fortunate she had as she just barely caught a glimpse of the flashing spatula as it struck the floor where she would have been a second later._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan jumped back in fear as Ukyou cursed at missing the blow. She held the spatula menacingly before her as she moved forward to confront the rapidly retreating Ranma-chan._ _ _ _ _

_____“Stand still, Ranchan. It’ll only hurt for a moment.” Ukyou continued her advance as Ranma-chan continued her retreat._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan was practically in tears. “Why? Why are you doing this? I thought we were friends!”_ _ _ _ _

_____“We are,” Ukyou suddenly found her desire faltering. “It’s for your own good. Just let me get a clean blow to your head.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“No. I thought I could trust you. But now I see there isn’t anyone I can trust!”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Ranma,” Ukyou’s spatula wavered, then pointed to the ground. “You can trust me. I—“_ _ _ _ _

_____Further comments were cut off as Ryouga leaped over Ukyou’s head and managed to grab onto Ranma-chan before she could escape. His superior strength easily pinned Ranma-chan’s arms to her sides as she tried worming her way out of his grasp._ _ _ _ _

_____“Now, Ukyou! While I got him!” Ryouga said as he found it increasingly difficult to hold on to the struggling girl._ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou vacillated for another second before raising her spatula to the heavens again. Ranma would thank her when it was all over. She brought the spatula down in a sweeping arc, targeting Ranma’s head for a truly powerful blow._ _ _ _ _

_____*WHAM*_ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou saw much to her horror that she had connected with the top of Ryouga’s head. At the last moment he seemed to lunge forward and into the path of the blow. She was about to ask him why he did that when he slumped to the ground, releasing his hold on Ranma-chan while revealing a figure behind him._ _ _ _ _

_____“I see you are still quite the scum, Kuonji. Double teaming a helpless girl like this. I find it difficult to believe I ever admired you, even for a second,” said the girl in with a heavy French accent._ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou cursed out loud at the figure before her, decked out in a white jumpsuit and a beret that held her brown hair while bearing two metal combat whisks before her in an attacking stance. Crepe Suzette’s timing couldn’t be worse._ _ _ _ _

_____“This is personal business, butt out!” Ukyou did not feel up to either physical or verbal sparring against the French Cuisine Combat specialist._ _ _ _ _

_____“HA!” Suzette retorted. “As though I would do anything you would suggest. You sick, perverted cross dresser!”_ _ _ _ _

_____The idea that Suzette was still steamed at her for being a girl instead of a guy made Ukyou inwardly cringe. Talk about obsessive, the girl was nuts, and it was all her own fault. Ukyou never came onto her or did anything to make her think she was a guy._ _ _ _ _

_____“En garde!” And with that Suzette attacked._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan watched the fight start to unfold. Ukyou had betrayed her too. She had been the only one left that Ranma-chan felt she could really trust. And if all of her closest friends were out to get her then there was no one left to turn to. She quickly ran away from the scene, crying the entire time._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____It was night when Ranma-chan found herself wandering some of the back alleys somewhere near Nerima. True it was dangerous for a girl to be out alone like she was, but there was nowhere to go. And she would rather be alone under the stars than under a roof where people hated her._ _ _ _ _

_____And now she had a problem with what to do now. All of her friends had attacked her. No one would listen to what she said or wanted, and it didn’t look like there was anything she could do about it. Even Akane and Shampoo, who had promised not to try to make her into a boy, went back on their word. She curled into a ball next to a wall and cried for a little while longer. After the Ukyou incident she had cried for hours on end as she ran away from everything she knew. She just couldn’t bring herself to go back to the place that she had called home, a place where everyone made her feel unwelcome._ _ _ _ _

_____After another hour of crying she stood up, a decision finally made. She just couldn’t remain in Nerima anymore. There was nothing for her there. All of it had been lost in a matter of days. Her school, her friends, her family, her life. It was going to be difficult starting anew somewhere else, and she would always miss everyone no matter what they had done in the past. She would choose to remember all of the good times, and bawl her eyes out in a deluge that would make Soun proud. But the only alternative was to go back, and with what was waiting for her there there was no way she could do it. All that was left now was to choose where to go. Once she settled down she could find a job and go back to school under a different name and try to forget about what happened. Just try to lead a normal life away from martial arts and the past._ _ _ _ _

_____Any further thoughts of the future were aborted by a voice from behind Ranma-chan._ _ _ _ _

_____“How’s it going, Fem-girl.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan turned slowly around to see Tarou, standing about, looking smug and dangerous at the same time._ _ _ _ _

_____“W…what do you want?” she managed to stutter out._ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou laughed at that. He had no idea that having Ranma-chan sound scared of him was so much fun. “Do that again!” he insisted._ _ _ _ _

_____“What do you want? Why are you bothering me?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou was disappointed. It was obvious the girl was still scared but without the stutter it just sounded off. There was nothing to be done about it at the moment. “I want a little payback for the hassles you’ve caused me. I want revenge so I can feel good. I want to kick the living shit out of you. I wouldn’t mind being wealthy. And most of all I want Akane.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Stay away from her!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou was actually taken aback by the response. The redhead was suddenly showing a disturbing amount of backbone. Could Ranma’s real personality be coming to the forefront? If that was so Tarou was going to have to move swiftly._ _ _ _ _

_____The plan he had told Mousse about was simple. Once they got Ranma-chan separated from the others, and there were no witnesses about, he and Mousse were going to abduct the girl and ship her off to somewhere from whence she was never going to come back. It was not going to be something so simple as packing her in a crate, like Ranma had done to Mousse. No, what Tarou wanted to do was something that would ensure the girl was never coming back. He was going to sell Ranma-chan to some underworld elements Tarou had come into contact to during some of his wandering years. More than once he had done some fighting as a way of making money, including acting as an legbreaker for the various criminal elements of wherever he happened to be. Being of above average intelligence and crafty as hell, he managed to make a lot of contacts with which he was on pretty good terms with. Among those elements were slavers._ _ _ _ _

_____Regardless of what the various governments of the areas liked to believe, there was a decent trade going on in the south seas area, including Japan. The way Tarou had it figured, he would snatch Ranma-chan and give her to one of the middlemen who sold the slaves to whatever power needed them. Despite knowing the truth about Ranma-chan, Tarou had to admit a female like that would go for top dollar. The key was in Saotome not regaining her memory or having any hot water splashed on her. He could tell them she had a horrible allergic reaction which made her break out in contagious hives or something. At the very least Tarou would warn the others about the girl’s martial arts abilities, even if they never returned. Now that he thought about it, when he had talked with the men earlier about making a sale he overheard them say something about turning a catch like that to a Madame Lao, someone Tarou had heard vague rumors about. Something about her traveling the high seas in a magical ship that had a harem of slaves to do her bidding. Her own personal power was supposed to be impressive too. Come to think of it, those rumors said she preferred women. If that was the case and she bought Ranma-chan, Tarou had little doubt he would never have to lay eyes on the Fem-boy again._ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse was along for support, and a number of other potentially useful reasons. The first of these was to provide Tarou with an alibi about where he was on the night Saotome disappeared. The second was that if things fell through, Tarou was fairly certain he could make the blind one a scapegoat if some sort of evidence came up revealing where Ranma-chan was. He certainly hadn’t brought Mousse along for the companionship._ _ _ _ _

_____“You’re coming with me,” Tarou said as he began to move for Ranma-chan. The redhead backed up in fright, but didn’t run away. That sat fine with Tarou. He did not particularly feel like chasing Ranma-chan down, and he didn’t want to mark up the girl before the sale. That was a good feeling, getting some money for disposing the annoying Fem-boy. Why, he could spend the money taking out Akane and consoling her in her time of need. What delicious irony._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan continued slowly backing up. She knew if she ran all out Tarou would simply run her down more quickly, but she didn’t know what to do. He was going to hurt her, and possibly worse. What had she done to deserve this? She was a nice girl that never wanted to hurt anybody. Why did everyone want to hurt her? If the situation wasn’t so frightening she would have cried, but as it was she was too scared to even do that._ _ _ _ _

_____Just as she was about to risk running away at full speed a pair of arms grasped her from behind. She began struggling and screaming to get out of the grip but it was to no avail. At last a curt command made her stop struggling._ _ _ _ _

_____“Fear not, Shampoo! I will not allow this foul devil to set his hands upon you!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan turned to look up into Kunou’s bold features. As bad as Kunou could be, Tarou was far worse. She also remembered Tarou was a much better fighter, so Kunou’s appearance would be nothing more than a delaying tactic for whatever fate awaited her in Tarou’s hands._ _ _ _ _

_____“Would you get lost?!” Tarou barked at the intrusion. Kunou’s appearance was going to complicate things. Kunou wasn’t the kind to allow young girls to fall prey to anyone save himself. Which meant Tarou was going to have to figure out a way to make Kunou forget he ever saw him on the same night Ranma-chan disappeared._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou allowed Ranma-chan out of his grasp and pointed his bokken at Tarou. “I still remember how you did interfere with my date of the beauteous Akane Tendo. For that crime alone you would suffer. But to try to molest this beautiful goddess is too much. I will not allow such a travesty to take place. I shall—“_ _ _ _ _

_____“Smite me,” Tarou finished. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Fine. I’ll finish you off now.” Tarou cracked his knuckles in anticipation. The fight should last all of two blows._ _ _ _ _

_____His first lackadaisical swing missed Kunou as the kendoist dodged the attack and retaliated with a hard thrust into Tarou’s midsection. The force of the blow caused Tarou to back of several feet. He looked up in disbelief at what had just happened. Kunou had struck HIM? It had to have been pure luck. Tarou attempted to test the theory by attacking again. This time Kunou lashed out before the fist even came close to him, hitting Tarou in several different places and forcing Pantyhose to back off once again._ _ _ _ _

_____“The likes of you can never harm me, pompous oaf,” Kunou said menacingly._ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou growled in frustration. Somehow Kunou had improved a little. Big deal. There was nothing he could do to defend himself from Tarou when he was in cursed form. Tarou went for the container of water at his waist and removed the top. He was holding it high above his head and was about to pour it on himself when a chain shot out, snagging the canteen out of his hands. He turned in rage upon Mousse, who was watching everything from his position on top of a nearby roof._ _ _ _ _

_____“What did you do that for?!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse gave Tarou a smirk of his own. “Several reasons. First, you don’t think I’d let you do something like that to Ranma. I might hate his guts, but even that as a form of revenge is going too far. Killing him would be a much more merciful way to go about it.” The truth was that allowing Ranma-chan to be sold into slavery was more than a little distasteful to Mousse, and if Shampoo ever found out what had happened he was destined to die a slow lingering death. Another reason was that if Ranma-chan ever got total recall of her memory Mousse would die a slow lingering death at her hands instead, at least once she busted free of the slavers. And Saotome had a nasty tendency of coming out on top in the end. There was too much chance in leaving him alive to seek revenge someday._ _ _ _ _

_____“The second reason is I would never harm a girl like that.” That excuse was said for Kunou’s benefit. Kunou was not going to keep quiet about Mousse’s involvement of Ranma-chan’s kidnapping, and there was no way the blind one was going to kill Kodachi’s brother. As difficult as the two of them got along, there was a form of affection between the Kunou siblings. It was just shown in a really weird way. Besides, Kunou was now so good that Mousse had doubts about whether or not he and Tarou could best him in a two on one._ _ _ _ _

_____“Thirdly. I happen to think that Ranma leading the life of a woman while surrounded by his friends is more than enough vengeance. Every time Shampoo saw him it would show her what a mistake she had made in allowing herself to be lulled by the false words of affection Saotome offered her.” That was the entire truth that time._ _ _ _ _

_____“And lastly, this seems like the golden opportunity for me to gain revenge against you.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Tarou was taken aback by that one. “What are you talking about? I never did anything to you.” Except treat you like the idiot you are he silently added._ _ _ _ _

_____“Not me. Kodachi.” Even Mousse was a little surprised at the passion in his voice. He had not realized just how much this had bothered him. “When I was in China, recovering the Nyanniichuan for Shampoo, you set her up to be hurt. She told me how you lied about where I was and how you tricked her into fighting Ranma. It’s fortunate for you that she wasn’t harmed, or else you would feel the full power of my wrath.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Like that was going to scare Tarou. Still, he had no idea Mousse bore grudges that long. For the first time in a quite a while he found himself respecting the fool. Mousse had exhibited a great deal of patience in waiting for his opportunity of revenge. Tarou would have to let him know of the admiration as he broke both of the blind twit’s arms. But first he was going to have to take care of the buffoon before him._ _ _ _ _

_____“All right, you bokken-wielding moron, get ready to have your ass kicked.” Tarou went in with a high kick combination that was blocked by the bokken. The follow up attack on Kunou’s part was successful as he connected with multiple blows to the body, weakening Tarou._ _ _ _ _

_____Pantyhose wasn’t done yet. He tried several high punches and kicks, all of which were dodged or parried. The only consolation was that Kunou wasn’t striking back._ _ _ _ _

_____“Time to end it!” Kunou announced and poised in an unfamiliar stance with his bokken held high._ _ _ _ _

_____At this point Tarou was truly concerned. Being beaten by Kunou was going to be embarrassing enough and he would have been inclined to retreat, pride be damned, if it wasn’t for the fact that this was going to be the only opportunity to dispose of Ranma. Cursing that he had no other choice, he lunged forward to attack. He never got in a swing as the tip of Kunou’s bokken glowed blue and he struck Tarou in the ribcage, hurling him several miles away._ _ _ _ _

_____“So fall those that would disrupt the dates of Tatewaki Kunou.” He sheathed his bokken and laughed long and hard towards the heavens. After several moments he calmed down enough to choose what to do next._ _ _ _ _

_____“Though I did not need your assistance, I thank you for aiding me in my duel,” he said towards Mousse. “I could see that the cowardly fool was attempting some deception to win the day and you helped speed the eventual outcome of the fight. Perhaps my sister has chosen her mate well.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Unbelievably, Mousse felt flattered at the compliment. Kunou rarely said such things of anyone, and Mousse had been under the distinct impression that Kunou regarded him as a lower form of life than most. He had certainly made his displeasure over his sisters ‘choice’ of man well known._ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse decided to do himself, as well as Kunou, a favor. “I see your Pig-Tailed Love Goddess is before you. And since you are the conquering hero you should now take your reward.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou’s eyes lit up. “Indeed! How truly you speak! By the rights of combat Shampoo is now mine.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse smiled in amusement as he saw Ranma-chan suddenly look very frightened. Perhaps Kunou would not be spending the night alone in the mansion tonight. Mousse silently prayed that if that was the case he could somehow listen in on Ranma-chan’s cries of agony. And the best thing of all was that Mousse could claim he had no part in Ranma-chan’s violation. Everyone knew Kunou was a maniac and was capable of anything once he got his hands on a woman that he desired._ _ _ _ _

_____Mousse leaped off of the roof and headed towards home. It would be best not to be nearby on the offhand someone was searching for Ranma-chan and they happened to spot him nearby. It would not do to be caught too close to the scene of the crime and get blamed for what had happened. Besides, he wanted to be waiting for Kunou to arrive home so he could be comfortable when the festivities took place._ _ _ _ _

_____It was turning out to be one heck of a night._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____“Ah, ravishing one. Allow my lips to embrace yours.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Get off of me! I’m not that kind of girl!” Ranma-chan desperately wanted to slip out of Kunou’s grasp and get away. He was certainly preferable to Tarou, but his attentions were still not desired. But for all her protests it seemed as though Kunou was determined to take advantage of her current situation._ _ _ _ _

_____“I know that, my goddess.” Kunou proudly stated. “You are as pure as the driven snow. As divine as the wind.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Then let me go so I can blow away.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou looked startled at the statement, then grew happy. “I see. Sexual innuendo. I shall allow you to ‘blow away’.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan was truly frightened by Kunou as he allowed her out of his grasp. She was not going to do that sort of thing with him. No man would ever want a girl that had done something like that. “Please just let me go,” she pleaded._ _ _ _ _

_____“It is the vile Saotome’s influence, is it not? I heard how he foisted himself on you and demanded a date, as though one that was so unworthy was deserving of your attentions.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Sh…Ranma,” Ranma-chan corrected. “Is a very nice boy. He’s always a gentleman and very proper and you have no right to call him vile.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“It is his doing then. I can tell by the manner in which you defend him.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I am defending him because he is my boyfriend!” Ranma-chan declared._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou was strangely silent upon hearing that declaration. His grip tightened on his bokken as he began to tremble in rage._ _ _ _ _

_____“He has defiled you! I SHALL MAKE HIM PAY WITH HIS LIFE!!!” Kunou’s rage subsided a little bit as he came to one other conclusion. “I shall break you of his spell before he can work his insidious ways into your heart any further.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ranma-chan suddenly panicked. She did not like where this conversation was heading._ _ _ _ _

_____“You shall see. I care nothing for what he might have done to you. My love for you is pure. We shall retire to my home where I will devote myself to your redemption. Come to me, my love.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou moved forward and made a motion to grab Ranma-chan again. Just as he moved within an inch of getting his hands on the girl he pulled back, barely in time to avoid several mini-spatulas digging themselves into his hand._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan looked in surprise at the direction the spatulas had been thrown. She saw standing in the opening of the alleyway three figures silhouetted against the street lamps of the street beyond. She could just make the outlines of a giant spatula, a pair of metal whisks and a set of pompoms wielded by the trio. The three moved as one further into the alleyway and into the moonlight. Ranma-chan felt her heart soar as she saw who her rescuers were: Ukyou, Ai, and Crepe Suzette._ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou brandished her spatula menacingly. “Get the hell away from her, Kunou. Or I’ll make you wish you were never born,”_ _ _ _ _

_____“As though everyone at school doesn’t already wish that,” Ai added._ _ _ _ _

_____The two whisks Suzette bore made unusual sounds as she spun them around in every growing circles. “If there is one thing I hate more than liars, it is pigs like you that cannot take no for an answer. Allow me to remedy those feelings by hurting you.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Stay back, beloved,” Ai said as she thrust herself in front of Ukyou. “I’ll take care of him.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“No. He’s become more dangerous than before,” Ukyou warned. She tried to rush forward to prevent Ai’s attack but was a second too late, her hand grasped nothing but air._ _ _ _ _

_____Ai gave a leap kick towards Kunou, expecting an easy victory. She had fought him a couple years ago and won easily. And judging by his regular performances against Ranma he hadn’t improved that much._ _ _ _ _

_____Her attempt to kick him in the head was met with a bokken thrust that sent her into a pile of garbage._ _ _ _ _

_____“The trash is an appropriate place for the likes of you,” Kunou commented dryly._ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou rushed to Ai’s side. “Are you all right?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ai nearly collapsed in joy. “You’re concerned about me.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou shook her head. “Don’t read too much into that,” Ukyou cautioned. “I just don’t want to see you hurt. I still don’t want to go out with you.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ai picked herself off the ground. “I’ll prove myself to you.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“No. We go together.” Ukyou paused to see Suzette was doing nothing more than watching the fight. Ukyou should have known better than to trust the foreigner. No doubt Suzette was just waiting for an opportunity to take out the okonomiyaki chef. Ukyou just hoped that after she defeated the new and improved Kunou she had enough left to take on the French girl._ _ _ _ _

_____Ai and Ukyou began attacking with spatula and baton towards Kunou. He weathered the first attacks with ease._ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh the horror of a beautiful flower such as yourself caught up in Ai’s ways of debauchery. It pains me to see you in such in immoral relationship. It almost makes me wish that my heart did not already belong to two others.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“You’re just hacked off at me for not going out with you back in ninth grade,” Ai snorted._ _ _ _ _

_____“Base lies!” Kunou shouted. “I would never ask the likes of you out, lascivious witch.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou raised his bokken towards Ai then shifted his grip so that he could disarm Ukyou, who had fallen for the feint. He was successful as the giant weapon went flying, leaving Ukyou to look at her hands in surprise. She had not been disarmed that quickly since she was a child._ _ _ _ _

_____“I shall protect you, Ukyou.” Ai’s promise went out the door as she was once again batted away by the bokken wielding youth._ _ _ _ _

_____The now weaponless Ukyou rushed to Ai’s side, taking note of a minor injury to her hip. “So much for chivalry,” Ukyou commented acidly._ _ _ _ _

_____Suzette at last moved forward and pointed one of her weapons at Kunou. “At last you have finished off those preliminary fool and are at the main event.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou looked the newcomer over. “You are quite beautiful. Do you seek a date with me?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Suzette facefaulted. “What kind of a moronic pig are you?” she asked in disbelief as she rose to her feet._ _ _ _ _

_____“You sound French.” He placed his bokken in his waistband while maneuvering his hands behind his back. “Now what sort of arrangement should I use,” At last Kunou made a decision and thrust a bouquet forward. “Welcome to our country!”_ _ _ _ _

_____She knocked the bouquet out of his hands. “Prepare to fight.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Ah,” Kunou said. “Very well, if you defeat me in combat we shall date.” He drew his bokken and pointed it at his opponent._ _ _ _ _

_____Suzette brought her own weapons to bear. “A better excuse for throwing a fight I could not come up with. Nonetheless, en garde!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ukyou recovered her weapon as the fight between the French chef and Kunou raged. Much to Ukyou’s chagrin Suzette actually pushed Kunou on the defensive early in the fight. It took the okonomiyaki chef several moments to figure out why. The weapons were unusual and Kunou had no idea of how to defend against them at first. Kunou was not to be denied as he adjusted to the whisks and began to press an advantage. Ukyou watched the girl loose a little more ground then entered the fray._ _ _ _ _

_____Rather than being angry, Kunou seemed to be delighted. “My newfound abilities have made me even more desirable than before. Everyone wishes to date me.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Pig!” and “Jerk!” were the responses as the two chefs pressed their attacks, forcing Kunou back even further. Kunou leaped back in effort to gain a respite, only to have a pompom hurled in his direction._ _ _ _ _

_____“What’s this?” he got out right before the object exploded at his feet, losing his form in the ensuing dustcloud._ _ _ _ _

_____Ai joined the triumphant Ukyou and Suzette as three gazed at the dust, waiting to see if Kunou would emerge from the cloud. Even Ranma-chan watched silently as the events unfolded._ _ _ _ _

_____“You are fortunate I was here to save the day. I have once again proven my superiority to you, in both combat and cooking,” Suzette boasted._ _ _ _ _

_____“Now hold on there, sugar,” Ukyou bristled. “I softened him up for you and you still aren’t half the cook I am!”_ _ _ _ _

_____“You aren’t half the woman she is either!” Ai added._ _ _ _ _

_____Suzette made a face at the two of them. “You are sick and twisted, having a relationship with another woman,” she commented to Ukyou. “Now that I see what kind pervert you are, it’s no wonder you led me on. You must have fallen for my great beauty.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Now wait just a minute! I am not—“_ _ _ _ _

_____Ai cut her ‘girlfriend’ off. “You aren’t anywhere near as beautiful as me and Ukyou, you French whore!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ai suddenly found herself sent flying into another wall and unconsciousness as Suzette nailed her with the whisk. “As though you are one to speak, slut.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Suzette ducked as Ukyou’s spatula nearly connected with her head. “I’ll be damned if I’ll let you hurt her!”_ _ _ _ _

_____“At last, a proper showdown.”_ _ _ _ _

_____The two combatants began circling each other warily. Three times their weapons met, neither one successfully striking the other. The fourth blow was cut off as a voice interrupted their fight._ _ _ _ _

_____“A lucky blow will not remove Tatewaki Kunou from the battle. Defend thyselves.”_ _ _ _ _

_____The announcement was not given with enough time for either girl to defend themselves. Since both had been fighting each other neither was prepared for the dozen bokken strikes that assailed both of them. Each was disarmed and sent flying, landing on opposite sides of Ai’s unconscious form._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou paused to make certain none of the combatants were getting up anytime soon. He then turned to Ranma-chan, who had remained by Ukyou’s side. The chef may have tried to hit her earlier, but Ranma-chan wasn’t able to leave Ukyou alone with Kunou either._ _ _ _ _

_____“It is time to go, my fiery-maned temptress.” Kunou moved forward to grab Ranma-chan once again._ _ _ _ _

_____“Keep away from her!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou turned to see Akane and Shampoo-kun now at the mouth of the alleyway. Neither looked happy._ _ _ _ _

_____“Truly this is a night of destiny for me!” Kunou shouted high to the sky. “Both of my true loves as well as the foul Saotome are present. Only my purity could have given me the gift of leading you all to me.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Pure garbage maybe,” Akane mumbled as she looked at Ranma-chan from down the alleyway. She appeared unharmed, much to Akane’s relief._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan moved to rush into her savior, Shampoo-kun’s, arms but was cut off by a bokken thrust._ _ _ _ _

_____“Worry not! I will not allow you to fall into that scum’s hands ever again,” Kunou said as Ranma-chan backed off in fear._ _ _ _ _

_____Akane silently decided Kunou had gone way over the edge. She moved forward to take care of him as she had the other day with one punt into China. Maybe she could get lucky and nail him into one of the Jusenkyou pools._ _ _ _ _

_____“The fair Akane Tendo approaches me. Let there be much rejoicing.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane was going to rejoice all right. Rejoice her foot right into his butt._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun noticed something different about Kunou as Akane moved closer to him. Something about the stance. It took a moment for him to realize what it was. He was preparing to strike out. For a moment Shampoo-kun considered not saying anything. Akane rarely had to put up with any attacks directed towards her, and she should have considered Kunou might do something unpredictable. At the last moment the Amazon changed his mind, Ranma-chan had to be rescued and Shampoo-kun was running out of allies that would probably be needed to combat Kunou._ _ _ _ _

_____“Look out!” he shouted out his warning too late. Akane turned to the shout just as Kunou lashed out, catching her in the arm. Akane fell to the ground from the force of the blow and looked at the swordsman in amazement._ _ _ _ _

_____“You are no doubt under the influence of the vile Saotome,” Kunou explained. “That is why you struck me the other day. Fear not. I shall not allow you to touch me until we are both certain you will not do anything out of your control.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane was about to ask him what he meant by that when she made a horrible discovery. She could not move her right arm. It was paralyzed._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou noticed she had made her discovery and attempted to place her concerns by the wayside. “Fear not, it is but a temporary condition. I must ensure you will do nothing untoward while under the influence of Saotome.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun had heard enough and was about to attack when a bellow of rage came from behind him._ _ _ _ _

_____“UK-CHAN!!!” Ryouga screamed upon seeing her unconscious form in the alleyway. He had arrived too late to help her. Depression set in as he laid his eyes upon Kunou. “You’re going to pay! SHI SHI--.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane sensed what was coming and got out of the line of fire._ _ _ _ _

_____“--HOUKOUDAN!!!” And with that he unleashed a black ball of energy at Kunou._ _ _ _ _

_____Surprisingly Kunou held his ground and focused his concentration. Just as the energy was about to strike him he thrust his bokken forward. A blue glow emanated from the tip as the chi energies met one another. The black ball was deflected off its course and sent into a warehouse, destroying a side of it._ _ _ _ _

_____Ryouga was too angry and depressed to stop at that. Seeing his attack was ineffectual he rushed forward with his umbrella drawn, intent on ripping Kunou’s head off. The umbrella strike was easily parried and the weapon sent flying. The time necessary to disarm Ryouga was enough to let him get inside Kunou’s guard and nail him with a punch that sent him flying several meters away. Kunou regained his feet, wiping blood from his lip as Ryouga advanced once again._ _ _ _ _

_____“You will fall to my ultimate technique. A thousand strikes of pain.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ryouga didn’t break his stride as he leaped forward to drive yet another fist into Kunou’s face. He was stopped in mid air as Kunou’s bokken became a blur. Ryouga never even made it to the target as his body was suspended in mid-air by the wind of the force that Kunou was using from his bokken. The suspension did not last long as the air struck his body as though they were real blows. Each wasn’t that powerful, but with no way of bracing himself he could do nothing to dodge the attacks. Over one thousand strikes of the air blows hit him before Kunou allowed him to fall to the ground._ _ _ _ _

_____“So falls those that would stand by the foul Saotome’s side.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ryouga slowly got to his feet. “That barely tickled.” he moved forward for vengeance once again._ _ _ _ _

_____“Fools rush in where even the angels fear to tread,” Kunou stated as his bokken tip glowed blue once again. Kunou beat Ryouga to the punch once again as his bokken thrust forward, connecting with over one hundred strikes, each one enhanced by the chi. This time Ryouga did not brush off the blows as they rained on him. He managed to remain upright for exactly one second before collapsing to his knees, then fell face forward to the ground._ _ _ _ _

_____During all this time Shampoo-kun had watched the fight closely. If he had assisted Ryouga the two of them might have been able to defeat Kunou, but the Amazon’s mind was working along different lines. Trying to get to the root of the problem. Since no one wanted to kill Kunou, simply knocking him unconscious was only going to be a delaying tactic. Watching Kunou as he fought Shampoo-kun looked for a weakness he could exploit. Kunou seemed nearly invincible. He was able to defend against multiple opponents and deal out a great deal of punishment. The fact he had taken out Ryouga in a nearly effortless fashion was a testament to that fact. There had to be some hole in his attack strategy._ _ _ _ _

_____As Ryouga hit the ground Shampoo-kun thought he hit upon the solution. One that would only work if his guess was correct. But even if it was it was going to result in a great deal of pain for him._ _ _ _ _

_____“How you get so good, Sword Boy?” Shampoo-kun asked._ _ _ _ _

_____“Humph!” Kunou sneered. “As though I would inform you of such knowledge.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun gave a look towards Akane. The youngest Tendo picked up on the unspoken communication and rolled her eyes as she gave in._ _ _ _ _

_____“Would you tell me, pretty please?” She gave her best Ranma-chan imitation of a cutesy little girl._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou fell for it. “It is from my heart. My courage. My spirit.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“And what else?” Akane prodded._ _ _ _ _

_____“Well, there was also this tome I found,” he reluctantly admitted, and held out the book of Jurai sword techniques high above his head. “It must have been a gift from the gods. Truly I am blessed. With its exotic techniques I have been able to combine it with my already legendary skills and devised new and brilliant attacks and defenses that make me invincible. I have even learned to tap into a force which is known as chi, and make my attacks even more powerful”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Is that the only copy?” Shampoo-kun asked._ _ _ _ _

_____“Yes.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“NOW!!!” Shampoo-kun shouted to Akane._ _ _ _ _

_____Akane understood what to do in an instant. She leaped up over the posing youth’s head and snatched the book out of his hand. Quickly she backed out of his bokken’s reach and away from Kunou. As much as she could._ _ _ _ _

_____“You scum! How dare you manipulate Akane Tendo to do your bidding!” Kunou growled. “No other evidence of your perfidy to principles is needed. You will recant your evil deeds before this night is out and you breath your last.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane was suddenly very afraid of Kunou. The look in his eyes was wild, too wild for what malice he usually bore for Shampoo-kun. And there was no telling what else he was capable of in his current mental state._ _ _ _ _

_____“What should I do with it?” Akane asked._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou began laughing before Shampoo-kun could say anything. “The book will do you no good. I was already trained with the weapon and I have an unmatchable head start on you. No matter how much you practice you will never defeat me.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Akane,” Shampoo-kun ordered. “Take the book away and destroy it.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I have every page and paragraph of the book memorized,” Kunou informed them._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun had a sinister cast to his eyes. “That what I’m counting on.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“But what about Ranma?” Akane looked towards Ranma-chan, who was still pressed against a wall, too afraid to even run away from Kunou._ _ _ _ _

_____“I know what I doing,” Shampoo-kun reassured her. “If you stay you just get in the way.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“No way!” Akane became indignant. She was tired of being treated like a fifth wheel. “I am a martial artist too. I’ll stay and fight.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“You can no use you arm, and if Kunou gets his hands on you you get to become his next playmate.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Akane cringed a little at that but stood her ground. “I can handle myself.” She wondered where Shampoo-kun got off trying to order her about._ _ _ _ _

_____“That book need to be destroyed no matter what!” Shampoo-kun shouted. “I can take care of rest! You is useless now! Leave!” And with that he shoved Akane to the ground._ _ _ _ _

_____She gazed at him, and saw that more violence was promised, if she tried resisting anymore. Her breathing was ragged as she regained her feet and considered helping Kunou in the impending beating of the Amazon. Practicality won out as Akane retreated from the scene, swearing under her breath that there would be a reckoning for what Shampoo-kun did on this day._ _ _ _ _

_____“You dare you lay your hands on one so beautiful. You are not worthy of licking her boots.” Kunou raged as he charged forward, bokken at the ready to administer a beating that Shampoo-kun would not soon forget._ _ _ _ _

_____Rather than make any offensive moves, Shampoo-kun simply huddled into a ball. Kunou paused but a moment before bringing his bokken down and struck Shampoo-kun on the arm protecting his head. The kendoist heard a grunt of pain from him, but no counterattack was attempted. A second and third strike netted the same results, grunts of pain but no attempts to flee or attack. Three more blows and still nothing. Something was wrong with the situation._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou backed off in an effort to see if he could ascertain exactly what Shampoo-kun was up to. He saw the dark-haired boy wince as he removed arms that were already showing welts from the strikes on the unprotected flesh. The look of fear in Shampoo-kun’s eyes, the look that Kunou wanted to be there, was not present._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou could not figure out what was going on. The only rational explanation was that Shampoo-kun was senseless from fear. Small surprise considering how powerful Kunou had become. “If you believe that you can beg for mercy, or that cowering before me will save you from your well deserved beating, think again. Nothing will prevent me from achieving my righteous vengeance!”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Just get on with it!” Shampoo-kun said as he huddled back into the ball._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou was enraged. How dare Saotome show defiance to his obvious betters. He used more overhead strikes with his bokken, keeping his defenses up lest it all be some trap to lull him into a false sense of security. He started striking in the back and sides in an effort to get Shampoo-kun to come out of his defensive ball and take a normal beating like a man._ _ _ _ _

_____“Stop it!” Ranma-chan shouted. She had seen enough of the beating her friends had taken trying to protect her. Perhaps earlier in the day they had sought to harm her, but when she was threatened they came to protect her. As each of her friends attacked she hoped they would defeat Kunou. And as each fell it seemed to stab her in the heart. Akane had escaped, much to her relief, but Shampoo-kun seemed determined to stay and suffer a horrible beating._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou backed a safe distance away from the balled up form as he took the time to answer the redhead. “Worry not, fair Shampoo. This one will fall momentarily and we can be away from here.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I don’t want you to hurt him!” she pleaded._ _ _ _ _

_____“This man is devoid of morals and has taken advantage of you repeatedly. He deserves a beating at a true warriors hands.” He moved to lash out at Shampoo-kun once again._ _ _ _ _

_____“NO!!!” Ranma-chan threw herself in front of Kunou. “I…I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t hurt him.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou faltered at that. She would give herself willingly to him. That meant she was eager to feel his embrace. Of course, that was it. She did not want to waste any more time. She wanted him now. He always knew that was the case._ _ _ _ _

_____Then he saw the tears in her eyes._ _ _ _ _

_____“You are crying. Why?” he asked._ _ _ _ _

_____“I duh…don’t want you to hurt him,” she sobbed. “I don’t care what you do to me anymore. Just leave him alone. Please.”_ _ _ _ _

_____The begging had the opposite effect of what was desired. “Foul fiend!” Kunou pointed at Shampoo-kun. “You have dared to enslave this young girl’s heart to your own and now seek to use it to protect you from harm. I shall break your hold over her by whatever means necessary. Any means.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“NO!!!” Ranma-chan threw herself in front of Kunou, grabbing his full attention._ _ _ _ _

_____“Away from me! I must smite--”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Out of the way, Ranma!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou and Ranma-chan looked up in the direction of the voice. Shampoo-kun had regained his feet, barely. His ability to remain upright was being sorely tested as he swayed back and forth like a drunk._ _ _ _ _

_____“No!” Ranma-chan protested. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun began to chuckle, much to everyone else’s amazement. “It’s your turn to forget, Ranma.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan shook her head in confusion. “What do you mean?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I promised you on the ship, and I promised again when Pop was hurting you. I going to protect you. I not going to abandon you. I sooner die than do that ever again.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“No,” Ranma-chan began wailing. “I release you from your promise. I don’t care what happens to me. I just don’t want you to be hurt anymore. Run away!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun smiled. “It not work that way. Besides, ‘I don’t care what happens to me. I just don’t want you to be hurt anymore’ either.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan did not appreciate her own words being used against her, but any further comments were cut off by Kunou._ _ _ _ _

_____“I will not allow the fiend to run off. It is time for vengeance.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou evaluated Shampoo-kun as the Amazon continued swaying slightly. It would be a simple matter to finish his opponent off with several more blows, that was unless he felt like stretching it out just a little bit longer. After all, Saotome had gotten lucky for several months straight in somehow defeating Kunou in all of their fights. Now was the time for revenge, and Shampoo-kun was making it easy by not fighting back. The youth was finally wising up and allowing himself to suffer the beating he so richly deserved. Kunou could almost admire the courage Shampoo-kun was displaying in admitting his shortcomings and accepting his punishment. He pushed Ranma-chan forcefully out of the way and charged forward._ _ _ _ _

_____Focusing his chi through the sword once again Kunou thrust forward right for the widest part in his opponents defense: the midsection. Kunou decided to play with his prey a little more and held back from unleashing his true might. Just as he lunged forward Shampoo-kun suddenly seemed to focus his attention and moved fluidly as he brought his hands down in an effort to stop the strike, but it was going to be too late. The thrust would strike first._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun’s arms moved downward as he felt the blow connect under his ribcage. He had Kunou right where he wanted him._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Kunou heard Shampoo-kun exhale and could feel him start to pitch backward from the force of the blow when both hands fell upon the shaft of the bokken, halting the retreating motion. Kunou tried to pull his sword back, but discovered the grip applied by Shampoo-kun was too great, despite the tremendous beating that had been inflicted upon him._ _ _ _ _

_____“Let go, knave!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun made no reply, but rather kept his grip on the sword, straining, using every bit of muscle to increase the pressure until…_ _ _ _ _

_____*SNAP*_ _ _ _ _

_____At last Kunou discovered the one problem with his awesome new abilities: you needed a sword to employ them. Shampoo-kun had over half of the broken bokken in his hands while Kunou looked down to see the remains that were still in his own hands. It seemed inconceivable that Shampoo-kun had a grip strong enough to shatter a weapon as powerful as Kunou’s, yet it had happened._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou regained his composure. “You feigned weakness and cowardice so that I would drop my guard and you could destroy my weapon. Impressive. This round goes to you Saotome. But it is far from over. Next time a shall simply have Sasuke bring two, no, a dozen extra bokkens with which to deal with you. And next time a shall finish you off quickly rather than toy with you as I did today.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“There not going to be a next time,” Shampoo-kun intoned menacingly as he shook his head._ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou maintained his arrogant posture, even in light of the threat. “And what is that supposed to mean?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“You’re never going to use you newfound abilities ever again.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Kunou backed up a step now. “So you would strike down an unarmed opponent. I should have expected such underhandedness from one such as you.”_ _ _ _ _

_____As though Kunou didn’t attack people who were unarmed all the time, Shampoo-kun thought to himself. Besides, he had something else in mind other than to killing the lame brained fool._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Kunou backed up in fear as he saw Shampoo-kun tense up in preparation to finish him off. This was not the way it was supposed to end. The great Tatewaki Kunou was not supposed to be killed at the hands of a common peasant like Ranma Saotome._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____“It ends now, Kunou,” Shampoo-kun said as he leaped over the kendoist’s head and landed on his back on top of his shoulders. In a flash he pulled out a bottle of 110 shampoo and within ten seconds wiped out all of Kunou’s memories concerning the book of Jurai sword techniques. Shampoo-kun jumped off and watched Kunou collapse to the ground, unconscious._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan slowly approached Shampoo-kun’s side, halfway expecting Kunou to rise up and terrorize her again. “Is it over?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun nodded his head. There was an irresistible urge to start kicking the unconscious boy on the ground, but he staved off the feeling. It would make him little better than Kunou._ _ _ _ _

_____“We go now,” he said to Ranma-chan as he picked her up and started leaping from rooftop to rooftop. He had not made more than four leaps when his legs buckled underneath him and he had to stop to regain his balance. The roof he landed on had recently been worked on. There was still the building debris of a half built chimney laying around._ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan eased herself out of his grasp. “Why are you doing this?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I told you, I not going to let you be hurt.”_ _ _ _ _

_____She shook her head and started to break down. “That’s not what I meant. Why are you doing all of this? You keep risking your life for me. Why? It’s almost like you want to get hurt.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I would have done it even if you were no there. He humiliate me in front of everyone. I had to beat him no matter what.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“But I was there.” She began crying. “I hate it when you get hurt for me. Like when I was attacked by Tarou the first time, and when I got captured by Herb and now. It’s like your trying to get hurt to prove something to me.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I…I not trying to prove anything.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan shook her head. “You’re lying. I can see it in your eyes. What are you trying to do? Prove to me you’re a strong warrior? That you can take punishment? I know you’re powerful.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I not have to prove anything to you,” Shampoo-kun snarled._ _ _ _ _

_____“But you still try. It’s like you’re afraid I won’t like you if I think you’re weak. I wouldn’t care even if you were. I like you for who you are. It has to be something else.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“T…there’s nothing else,” he mumbled._ _ _ _ _

_____“Then why did you make that stupid promise about dying before letting me come to harm. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about it. Why am I so important to y…?” Ranma-chan trailed off after that._ _ _ _ _

_____“What?” Shampoo-kun looked on fearfully._ _ _ _ _

_____“You love me,” Ranma-chan whispered, just barely audible._ _ _ _ _

_____The widening of Shampoo-kun’s eyes was the only response she could give. She knew. At last she knew._ _ _ _ _

_____“I’ve been so blind. Why didn’t I see it? You love me!” Ranma-chan said as she began smiling eagerly._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun was at a loss. To hear the words from Ranma-chan, that she knew everything, left him speechless._ _ _ _ _

_____“It’s so wonderful. Now I can get married!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun nearly fell over in shock. Ranma-chan wanted to get married, NOW?!!!_ _ _ _ _

_____“It’ll be wonderful!” she began shouting in joy. “I’ll have to get a pretty dress. And we’ll have to invite the others. I do hope Father will be pleased that I’ll be marrying such a strong and handsome man.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun focused on what she was saying. Of course, the idiot still thought she was a girl. And that meant she was still considering Shampoo-kun a boy. That wasn’t right. Ranma-chan should want to marry her because he was really a girl._ _ _ _ _

_____But that could be dealt with after the wedding. Unfortunately no one else would go along with it. After all, Ranma-chan still thought she was a girl and they would no doubt argue that it would never stand up. Of course they could elope and have a honeymoon somewhere far away from the others. And he would end up having Ranma-chan while the redhead thought she was a girl._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun tried thinking other thoughts. Surely he could make Ranma-chan better. He’d just have to wait until after the wedding. But what would Ranma’s reaction be once he recovered? Would he thank Shampoo, or would it be the exact opposite. Ranma hated to be manipulated, and wasn’t this the ultimate manipulation? Yes, but it would be for his own good. Would Ranma see it that way?_ _ _ _ _

_____Would he ever trust Shampoo again? Or would he shout at her, accusing her of taking advantage of the situation? She wasn’t. And she loved Ranma. That would make it all right. She was just doing what Ranma came up with while he thought he…was…a…girl._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun felt his heart sinking. He tried rationalizing everything he would do, but there was a continuously sinking feeling in his gut; a feeling that was growing by the second. And when he tried visualizing what life would be like after a wedding ceremony it was not coming up well. It kept going back to the same thing, how would Ranma react to it?_ _ _ _ _

_____Ranma-chan was still going on about what a lucky girl she was when Shampoo-kun grabbed her and kissed her fiercely on the lips. Once over the initial shock Ranma-chan kissed back with every bit of force she could muster._ _ _ _ _

_____At last the kiss broke off and Ranma-chan smiled at her future husband while remaining in his embrace. “Whoa! If that’s what I have to look forward to, I am going to be one happy…” she trailed off as she noticed Shampoo-kun’s reaction to the kiss. He was crying._ _ _ _ _

_____“What’s wrong? Was my kiss that bad?” Ranma-chan asked._ _ _ _ _

_____Shampoo-kun looked at her through tear filled eyes. “ ____ _ _ _

______Ranma-chan shook her head. “I don’t understand Chinese.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Shampoo-kun continued. “ _”__ _ _ _ _ _

_______Ranma-chan was still bewildered. “What are you talking about? I can’t—“ The rest was cut off by a loose brick Shampoo-kun had picked up and brought to the back of Ranma-chan’s head. He used enough force to reduce the object to powder as he grabbed the unconscious Ranma-chan before she could sag to the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“” Shampoo-kun said softly. “ _”__ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma-chan’s eyes fluttered open as she lay in Shampoo-kun’s arms. “Wh..what happened?” she muttered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I hit you in the head with a brick,” Shampoo-kun responded. “How do you feel?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma-chan held her head as she moaned. “How do you think a feel, you stupid Amazon? You hit me in the head with a brick! Whad’ya do that for anyway?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Shampoo-kun felt his heart soar. Ranma was back. “To make you better. And now you is back to normal.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I got a headache, that ain’t normal. And what do you mean make me better? I was perfectly fine…” Ranma-chan trailed off as she suddenly realized where she was. “Hey! Where am I and what are you doing here?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What you mean, Ranma?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma-chan shook her head. “The last thing I remember was that lady looking at something behind me, and the next thing I know is I’m here. What are we doing on a rooftop anyway?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Shampoo-kun began to shudder. It had to be a trick to get out of what he had just said to Shampoo-kun. “Do you no remember thinking you were a girl the last few days?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma-chan looked at her in disbelief. “What kind of a joke are you trying to pull? I haven’t ever thought I was no girl. I’m a guy and damn proud of it. Did Nabiki put you up to this?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Shampoo-kun began shaking. “What do you remember about the last few days?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma-chan ran off a list of things, all of which happened before the accident. Her list was interrupted by a brick slammed into her skull once more by Shampoo-kun. She went down holding her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Now what is the last thing you remember?!” Shampoo-kun fumed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma-chan got up and looked angrily at him. “You hitting me in the head with a brick!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And before that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Getting hit in the head with a girder. I’m starting to see a pattern formi—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________*WHAM*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma-chan went down from another brick brought into her skull, stunned once again. It took her a moment to get wobbly to her feet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Now what do you remember?” Shampoo-kun asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma-chan waited a moment until something resembling a steady world came about. As she shook her head and semi-recovered she answered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You going nuts and hitting me in the head with a bunch of bricks, you psycho Amazon! I…HEY!!! PUT DOWN THAT CHIMNEY!!!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I going to hit you in the head until you remember or you think you is a girl again!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What are you, crazy?! Did you get hit in the head and think you’re Akane or something?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“DIE, RANMA!!!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A pair of eyes had watched everything from when she had heard Ranma-chan talk about marrying Shampoo-kun. She had returned to help out and saw the two of them talk. Obviously Shampoo-kun had lived up to his end of the bargain and taken care of Kunou. She just hoped it wasn’t permanently. The guy was a deluded moron, but even he didn’t deserve to die._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She heard the first part of the conversation about Ranma-chan’s sudden revelation about Shampoo-kun’s feelings, and the fact there was no denial on Shampoo-kun’s about it. A revolting feeling made its presence know when she realized that Shampoo-kun was seriously considering doing exactly what Ranma-chan said. and then there was THE KISS. That bitch forced herself on a confused Ranma-chan and taken advantage of the situation. Feeling came back to her arm she reflexively ripped up roof tiles in anger at what had just happened. She was about to make her presence known when she saw the blow to the back of Ranma-chan’s head. After a moment of confusion she realized what Shampoo-kun was doing. The bastard wanted Ranma-chan back to normal so she could love him as a girl. Those beliefs were confirmed as she watched Shampoo-kun try to hammer Ranma-chan’s skull in an attempt to bring those forgotten memories back, the little bitch._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Akane Tendo was not a happy person, and for a change it wasn’t Ranma who had set her off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Tarou sat in the back room of the gym and nursed a beer. His ribs still hurt from where Kunou had struck him. The doctors assured him it was nothing more than a bruised rib which they immediately taped up. Given Tarou’s rate of recovery he could bounce back from that minor injury by the next day. Then new plans could be made for talking care of the new found members of the ‘People That Need Their Asses Kicked by Tarou’ list._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The gym had been his home for the last couple of weeks. It was a better environment than the annoying floral shop he had been staying at. Besides, he didn’t trust Kodachi and sure as hell did not trust Mousse, especially now. So he emphasized to the owner of the gym just how much he needed a place to stay. Tarou’s need was just as much as the owner’s need to have an intact gymnasium that hadn’t been destroyed by a raging Yeti-riding-bull. The owner agreed with Tarou and he had been living in the room ever since._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was currently after business hours, which was why Tarou was surprised when he heard a knocking a the door of the establishment. Deciding he needed to move anyway he went to chase the person off for annoying him. That had been the plan until he saw who his visitor was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Come on in.” Tarou smiled pleasantly as he ushered the girl of his dreams inside._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Akane cut right to the chase. “I want to start training with you again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What about Ranma?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What about him?” Akane responded as she crossed her arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Tarou unleashed a smile of his own. “That’s what I like to hear.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Perfect._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Kasumi finished wrapping the bandage around Ranma’s head. “You two should play less rough. Someone could be hurt.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma turned to the semi-charred Shampoo. “It wasn’t my idea to start tossing bricks at someone’s head.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I not talking to you,” Shampoo snarled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Look, I thought you were possessed or something. I didn’t know you were right.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Shut up, Ranma.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Throwing you into that gas tanker was an accident.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Shut up, Ranma!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I didn’t know it was going to explode.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I not want to talk about it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“At least you weren’t hurt.” He took note of the scowl directed at him. “Mostly. And it shocked you back to your senses. Why were you so desperate for me to remember, anyway? I’ve only heard about half of the things I did and I already want to leave the country.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Nevermind. It not important.” Shampoo shook her head. Despite the explosion she was still capable of fighting, so she couldn’t use the outsider rule against him. And if the jerk didn’t want to remember, fine! She wasn’t going to remind him. Besides, there was a horrible feeling deep inside that he would just deny it or play it off as part of his brain damage. Every instinct inside told her to remain silent about the event for now. It would take a little time, but there were ways to get him to open up to her. And now she was going to use them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was one other thing that kept her tongue silent. Just one little detail she had almost missed. Even when Ranma had been going on about marrying her, he left out one thing. Just one little word which would have made Shampoo repeat everything that Ranma-chan had said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ranma never said he loved her. Not once, no matter how deluded he was, did he say those words. And somewhere deep down inside, that made her feel very afraid._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Special thanks to:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ryan Anderson  
Jim Robert Bader (who created Madame Lao)  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Dr. Wade Tritschler_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	28. First Contact

Somewhere in the darkness:

"It is time," the voice rang out.

Another dimension:  
The Empire of the Five Comets:

The Seer remained seated in the stone chair that had been furnished for her. It was unusual for her to remain in one place for so long, not that time had any true meaning to her anymore. Unwanted immortality did that to a person. Whatever task awaited her next could only be decided upon after the event took place. Alternate paths dwindled away as what was going to happen became clearer and clearer. And if the most likely of events were to occur, the pattern of fate would shift in a direction that would make things difficult. When the forces involved were as powerful as these, there were fewer paths that existed, and those handful of alternate paths would be so insignificant that they would be nearly impossible to take.

Even as The Seer pondered where the paths would eventually go, something happened. While she observed the entire tapestry that only she could comprehend, the impossible occurred. There was a gray area in one of the paths. For the first time in centuries her heart seized up. She was The Seer. The Right Hand of Fate. There was no path that was obscured to her vision. She was the only one, other than Fate itself, that could see all of the possibilities at once, and yet the gray area existed.

Something was about to happen.

Somewhere in the darkness:

"Come!"

Ranma 1/2 Presents  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 28

First Contact

C+C always greatly appreciated.  
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also given it a home at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Or you can contact me at sommer

Standard disclaimer:

Ranma 1/2 characters are owned by The Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to. Other creations are owned by their various creators.

An alternate universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you really need to enjoy this fic) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, neither one realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and ended up accidently engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma was engaged to Akane. Over the months many friends and foes were made. Last chapter Ranma was cured of thinking he was a girl and Shampoo used her memory erasing Shampoo to eliminate the Jurian sword techniques Kunou had learned that nearly made him invincible. In the process Ranma forgot about the fact he figure out Shampoo's love for him and Shampoo's attempted to bludgeon it back into him failed. Also the Amazons have sent out a hunt pack led my Perfume to bring Shampoo back to China: Dead or Alive. Now some people are planning to go out on dates...

Indicates Chinese  
I am know going with the more 'classic' Xian Pu for the Chinese spelling of the name.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shampoo paced nervously back and forth across the living room. Something was wrong. There was a feeling deep down inside her that was getting stronger by the moment. Since the early afternoon it had made its presence known. It took a full hour for her to even become aware of its presence, but once she was cognizant of it there was no chance of pretending it would go away. She had tried that for hours and had failed miserably. It was only a matter of time before she found herself desiring to move. All attempts at remaining motionless were useless. She tried everything: breathing exercises, meditation, reading. Yet each one of them could not be done for more than five minutes before she found herself moving once more.

Eventually it got worse. She could not remain still even for a moment. She considered that it might be simply an excess of nervous energy and offered to spar with Ranma. That had turned out to be a mistake. Whatever was affecting her ability to remain still was also affecting her concentration. Her fighting was sloppy and she lost quickly. Embarrassingly quickly. After the pitiful match she took a shower and headed back to the living room. An attempt to watch television also failed as she rapidly found herself at the action she was currently engaged in; pacing the floor. It had started slowly at first, but later it picked up with an ever increasing speed as night fell.

The room's two other occupants, Ranma and Kasumi, watched her with a concerned eye. Ranma inquired several times about her behavior, but Shampoo simply told him all was perfectly fine. The protests were not reassuring to either of the concerned pair as they watched Shampoo continue to increase her speed. As time passed the pair began to wonder if she was going to run a furrow through the floor.

Kasumi decided it was time for her to try to get to the bottom of things. If there was something bothering her friend she wanted to share the burden of the knowledge. Shampoo's name was on her lips as she placed her hand on the Amazon's shoulder. There was no time to speak out anymore words as Shampoo viciously slapped the hand away, tensed up like a wild animal at the interruption and she drew back her fist. Kasumi's expression of surprise turned to one of hurt, which in turn caused the fierce look Shampoo gave to turn to one of anguish itself. The emotional pain became a physical one as Shampoo suddenly grasped her head and gave off a low moan, then spun around and ran out of the house at top speed.

Ranma had been struck speechless at the events. The idea that Shampoo would ever make the motion to lay a hand on Kasumi was almost inconceivable. It was only after Shampoo ran off at top speed that he managed to shake off the reverie and hurriedly pursued the Amazon into the night.

He emerged out of the house and spotted Shampoo running down the street as fast as she could. His attempts to stop her by calling out her name were useless as the girl continued dashing through the streets. Having no other recourse, Ranma took up the chase and tried to close the distance. He ran as fast as he could and still found it difficult to even come close to keeping up with the purple-haired girl, but the pace she was setting was too fast to allow her to run very far. Even with her near inhuman endurance Ranma knew that Shampoo would not be able to leave Nerima.

The chase led him into the curiously deserted streets of downtown Nerima. Ranma barely took notice of the fact that the downtown area was far too quiet, especially for that time of night. His main concern was for Shampoo. She was not giving any indication that she was going to be slowing down anytime soon or that she was getting close to whatever destination she was heading to. All of his cries continued to go unheeded as he heard the distant rumble of thunder emanate from the black skies above.

Shampoo ran briefly out of sight around a corner of one of the buildings next to the main road. Just as Ranma turned the same corner he was nearly run over. A multitude of oddly dressed people with wide low brimmed hats and playing musical instruments nearly trampled him. He found himself spun around, causing the world around him to blur as he was jostled, shoved and pushed by the impromptu band as they played their instruments and made their way around the corner of the building in the direction he had just come from. As the last person bumped into Ranma and turned the corner to join its compatriots Saotome at last had a clear view of the street before him.

Shampoo was nowhere in sight.

Ranma's eyes scanned both sides of the street and the rooftops in an effort to see where Shampoo had taken off to, but there was nothing. It wasn't possible. The band hadn't disoriented him for more than a few seconds, nowhere near enough time for Shampoo to have gotten out of sight, but there was no sign of her. He was about to head up the street when something occurred to him. The band had stopped playing. In fact, the music had stopped all at once when the last one had made his way around the corner. He rushed backward and looked around the corner only to see that there was no band either. Another impossibility since they had been moving slower and there were so many more of them.

Being thoroughly confused, Ranma took a moment and thought about what had just occurred. The situation was beyond bizarre, even by his standards. Martial artists he could deal with. Weird bands coming out of nowhere and disappearing in thin air was a bit much to take. Their arrival and departure was too much to be a coincidence. Their presence had to have been intentional. The music hadn't started until Ranma turned the corner and it disappeared just as quickly once the last one was out of sight. And the vanishing into thin air trick implied something else was involved, perhaps magic. Then there was the band itself, when he tried visualizing them he realized there was something out of place. He wasn't able to make out a single face in the lot, but he was certain he should have had a clear view of the faces. Then his blood ran cold as he understood why he had not been able to remember any of them. They had been blank tablets, not even possessing mouths, almost like they had been nothing more than animated dressmakers' dummies.

His senses were now totally attuned to the danger. Shampoo was in terrible jeopardy and he had no idea who the opponent was or how to deal with him.

He was helpless.

When Kasumi's hand rested upon Shampoo's shoulder the energy exploded. She had to get out. That was what the feeling was that had been building up all day. It was a message that told her to move; to leave where she was and go out into the night. And anything that dared to get in her way was going to be sorry. The first object that tried to impede her was Kasumi, and for an instant Shampoo was going to lash out at the thing that was trying to prevent her from leaving to the place that she had to go. However the pain in Kasumi's face cut through the in-built defense mechanism momentarily, causing Shampoo to moan out in pain. She knew in that moment she had to get out lest she harm her friend and anything else that got in her way.

She burst through the door and followed where her instincts cried for her to go. Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard Ranma calling out her name, but not even he could be allowed to interfere with her course. So she continued running on legs that had enough power to take her to the moon if need be, or so it felt like. As she made her way through the deserted streets of Nerima she felt a lessening of the pull, as though the closer she got to the destination the less force the call possessed.

Ranma's voice disappeared as Shampoo kept running. As she continued moving and the force decreased she became more aware of her environment. The streets were too quiet. No stores were open, no cars drove by, and not even a stray cat made any noise. It was as though everything else in the world had disappeared save Shampoo and the urgent pull from within.

Eventually the pull stopped altogether as Shampoo found herself in front of a dimly lit store. Thunder made its presence known as a storm started to approach. There was the concern that she was going to be changed in the upcoming deluge until her eyes fell upon an umbrella that was conveniently sitting in the alcove of the store. Shampoo quickly picked up the timely 'gift' and opened the umbrella just in time to avoid getting drenched in the sudden downpour. The patter of the falling rain was joined by the sound of a car that made a turn onto the street and headed towards Shampoo. Twin high beams shined upon her as the car pulled up next to her.

She read the sign attached to the side of the vehicle: The Blue Turtle Cab Company. A small, round man with rather large buck teeth rolled down the window and looked towards Shampoo.

"Come on in, ma'am," he said pleasantly.

Shampoo did as she was instructed. There was some unearthly quality to what was going on, and she had a feeling that she was required to do what the funny looking man suggested if she ever wanted to find out who had done these things to her. She made certain not to get splashed with any water as she opened the door and entered the cab, then closed the door as the driver started driving the darkened streets.

The view seemed to take on a dreamlike quality as Shampoo gazed out the window, watching the streets go by. Her attention did not fully drift from the scene before her as she began speaking to the driver.

"Who are you?"

The driver spoke in his somewhat high pitched voice. "Who I am is of little consequence tonight. Though I am important to some people, myself included. Tonight, I am simply someone that is taking you from one place to another. I am the driver and you are the passenger."

Oddly, Shampoo felt no anger towards the little man. It was almost as though she knew on some instinctive level rage directed against him would do no good. Then there was the language he was speaking. It was not Chinese yet it seemed as easy to understand as that. It was almost like it didn't matter what he said, it was going to be understood. That was not to mention the fact that she was now speaking in perfect...now that she thought about it she wasn't certain that she was speaking in Japanese. At first it was supposed to be Japanese, but now it seemed to be something else. Exactly what, she couldn't say.

"All of this is almost like a dream, isn't it?" the little man began. "This situation possess all the characteristics of one. It's like the world is some ethereal wraith that is fading from existence, as though it had never been and you are only now awakening to understand what it is you have to do."

Shampoo mumbled in agreement. The journey had taken on an imperceptible timeless quality. The street lights that passed by seemed to be the same ones over and over again as the rain splattered against the window. The scenery was moving but to Shampoo it seemed that they were going nowhere. It was the same monotonous thing over and over again. It seemed as though she could have been riding for years and still nothing would change.

"I've escorted people to dreams before, though this isn't one for you. This is reality, though you would be hard pressed to prove it. If it were in my power to affect you tonight I would take you to where your fantasies would come true. You have a lot of them that you would enjoy. If I could, I would allow you to ride on the back of the turtle and have an eternity to do as you wish. But that is not for you tonight. There is somewhere else that you have to go to."

"Where is that?" she asked dreamily.

"Somewhere between here and there. Where nothing but everything exists, and oblivion is only a step away to infinity. You won't get to see either of those tonight. You have an appointment with something that wants your full attention. It is the time of an event that is about to occur."

"You speak in riddles that make no sense. What do you mean?"

"Something wonderfully horrible is about to occur. Either that or something horribly wonderful. In a way you get to choose."

"I still don't understand."

"All that you need to know will be explained to you. He will explain."

"Who?"

The car suddenly stopped as Shampoo came out of the dreamlike state and snapped back to reality. "Time to get out."

The cab driver turned around in the driver's seat and insisted she go. Shampoo took note that it was still raining and made certain her umbrella was open to block out the rain before emerging from the cab and taking note of their destination. It was a dimly lit street where she could make out little under the streetlights before her. The clouds blotted out the moon so thoroughly that only pitch blackness was what awaited anyone who dared to brave the world past those dimly lit lamps.

The door closed on its own behind her as the driver waved goodbye, the car disappearing in the night. Shampoo watched as the car's taillights faded in the darkness. They were the last moving things, outside of the rain, that had been left. Now she was alone, or so she thought.

As the headlights vanished she felt a presence behind her. Turning she saw what appeared to be a man of average height in a brown suit with a bowler on his head and a cane in his grasp, currently pointed in the ground. The suit might have been a bit unusual, but the man's appearance was impossible. His skin was obsidian black, not allowing a hint of light reflecting off the surface, save for what appeared to be two white eyes that could just barely be seen below the hat. Looking at him, Shampoo was somehow aware that this was the one that had sent for her, and there was something about him that implied he could have forced her to come to wherever she was from anywhere in the world.

There was another peculiar thing about his appearance. It took a moment for Shampoo to figure out exactly what it was that seemed to add to his aura of weirdness. The rain was still coming down and the water was falling on him, but he was not getting wet despite lacking an umbrella. The water should have been dripping off the brim of his hat, and off of his sleeves as well, the way the rain was coming down. Yet the water was not collecting in any way. It just seemed to be disappearing as it hit him, almost as though it were being absorbed like the light.

"Greetings, Miss Shampoo." The man's mouth opened as he spoke to reveal what appeared to be white teeth. Those were the only way Shampoo could have been certain the man even had a mouth, the black lacking even the most basic features. "You are probably wondering what you are doing here."

"Who are you?" she asked.

"You may address me as Mr. Domino." The man had a faint accent Shampoo could not quite place. The deep resonating voice seemed to call out and command one's attention, as though it were the only voice in the world worth listening to.

"What do you want?"

Domino smiled. "Actually, that is the question I was going to pose to you. You see, you are a very fortunate young lady. You have attracted the attention of one of the great powers in the universe, and it is now going to offer you a chance few beings ever receive."

"And what would that be?" Shampoo asked.

"It depends, what do you want?"

Shampoo shook her head. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"

Domino gave a soft sigh. "You humans, so dense. The question is self-explanatory. What do you want?"

Shampoo still wasn't quite sure what he was getting at. Was he offering her a wish? If that was the case why didn't he just say so? Or was he trying to find out more about her and it was some kind of trick?

Domino shook his head once more. "Allow me to help you along. How would you like to be cured of your condition?"

Shampoo was beginning to suspect where this was going. "In what way?"

"In a way I can provide. However it now occurs to me that I have an even better bargaining position. I can give you a way to ensure that your fellow Amazons will not kill you, you will not have to worry about changing sexes, and you will be able to satisfy your loved ones."

Shampoo as taken aback. How could he know so much about her? "How can I do that?"

"With this," Domino produced a flask from seemingly out of thin air. It was a trick she had seen Mousse do repeatedly, but somehow she did not think it was something as simple as a sleight-of-hand since it involved this one. "Chuanshontsuniichaun. Twins water. If you use it now I can guarantee that you will separate into your male and female forms with no ill side effects. Each will be a perfectly normal version of yourself without a curse."

"Why would I want to separate myself into female and male halves?" Shampoo asked. "Why not just offer me Nyanniichuan, which would cure me of my curse anyway?"

Domino gave a soft chuckle. "Because with twins water you will be able to satisfy both Ranma and Kasumi."

Shampoo began sweating. How could he know? She told no one of her affection of Ranma, and her feelings about Kasumi were not a matter of public knowledge either.

"You wonder how I could know so much about you," Domino answered, as though reading her mind. "I work for someone with power beyond imagination. Knowing what is in your true heart is simplicity itself. We know your heart's desire, and in that ideal you wish to satisfy both of them. You are confused about your true feelings for Kasumi. She is a woman, and you are not attracted to women, except for her. You feel different when you're with her. These feelings are new to you. You love the joy you experience in being able to make her smile. She has done a great deal more for you than anyone else ever has and all without asking anything in exchange. Now you want to return the favor. Yet you are afraid of hurting her in the process of coming close and not being able to give her what you believe she wants. Such angst from one so young. You humans really are a confusing lot.

"But as great as your feelings are for Kasumi, the ones for Ranma glow even brighter. He is the fire in which you burn. He has made you feel in ways that no other has ever come close to. His smile sends you into an emotional frenzy from which you can barely contain. He is the flame in your heart that are you afraid will go out if he rejects you. Sadly, despite the fact he is also cursed, you think he may not want someone that is part male. After all, he is quite the prude. So you maintain your silence until you are certain you can win his heart and he will say 'yes.'

"This is the way to both of their hearts. The solution to so many problems. And it can be yours. All you have to do is a little favor for me."

Shampoo felt scared. At first it was because of the things he was saying; they hit too close to home. Still there was something else too. An instinct cried out there was something terribly wrong with the figure in front of her. Whatever it was was not obvious. "What do you want? My soul?"

Domino's voice shifted slightly, almost as though he was offended by the implication. "I am not affiliated with any kind of demon or devil. I work for a different power altogether. I don't deal in souls."

"Then what is it you want?" The feeling was starting to grow.

Domino gave a sad nod of his head. "The rules maintain I cannot tell you that until after you have accepted. I understand how this might make one somewhat cautious in closing a deal, so allow me to assure you of one thing: what is wanted in return is in your best self-interest. Once you find out what it is you will probably count it among the benefits of the deal." He straightened up slightly as he continued. "So what do you say? It's the cure to all your problems, and you get it for agreeing to something that you're going to want to do anyway."

The feeling of dread continued to build. Now it seemed to be coming from all around. But if what the being before her was telling the truth then it might solve everything. "Tell me what it is you want in return."

"I cannot."

Shampoo's suspicion grew. "I thought you were powerful. Why can't you break the rules just this once?"

The voice changed to a darker tone. "I have more power then you can possibly dream of. There are things I can do that would devastate worlds beyond your imagination. But it is not a matter of power, it is the way of things. I cannot inform you of what I want in return other than the reassurance that it is in your best self-interest." He paused another moment before continuing. "I see you are hesitant to accept my offer. Very well, I shall sweeten the deal. I can make it so you will win the hearts of Ranma Saotome and Kasumi Tendo, and guarantee that you will all have long and wonderful lives together. How can you refuse a deal like that? Just say yes."

He was acting desperately, even if it didn't sound like it, and the feeling of wrongness was compounded with a sensation of great coldness. It was as though she were slowly having the life drained out of her body from some unknown source. It didn't feel like it was coming from the man, it seemed to come from all around. The darkness seemed to be increasing and she was suddenly struck with the feeling that there was nothing beyond the light the street lamps provided. There was a certainty that all of reality now consisted solely of what she could see before her.

"No." The situation was strange enough, but there was even more going on than what appeared on the surface. There was too much risk and too much was unknown. Even thought it was as he said and the water could possibly be the solution to all of her problems.

He shook his head sadly. "Your kind always seems to take the hard way. Very well. Since you have not accepted the gift I can now tell you what it is I wanted, free of any strings attached."

"What is it?"

Domino's voice took on a deeper tone that seemed to project a feeling of incontestable truth. "If you go to Mount Phoenix you will die. You will die before you ever hear the words you so long to hear Ranma say to you. You will die painfully and alone in the darkness."

Shampoo tensed up. "Is that a threat?"

Domino shook his head. "No. It is your destiny. If you go to Mount Phoenix." He turned to depart. "It is unlikely we will meet again. Goodbye."

And with that he walked off in the opposite direction from Shampoo, his cane making tapping noises as he gained distance from her. When his form went beyond the boundaries of the lights everything seemed to fade for an instant. The feeling of coldness was overwhelming, causing Shampoo to fear that she would never be warm. It seemed to suck at her soul, trying to draw everything she was into it so she would never be whole again. Just as it seemed she was about to lose everything she was the feeling passed, as though it was never there to begin with. It was almost as if someone turned on a giant light making everything come into focus. The street lights illuminated all things now as the rain continued to pour. She was standing on what appeared to be the same sidewalk, next to a river, as sound returned to the world. She was back, and the feeling of being drained was gone, as though it had never existed.

She knew better. It had all been real. The journey, the meeting, the attempted deal. It was all too real, and Domino's words kept ringing through her mind.

"If you go to Mount Phoenix you will die."

She wandered off into the night. There were things that needed to be thought over.

In another dimension:

The Seer felt the gray area disappear. The lines of fate had been unaffected by whatever the interference was. Despite the seemingly normal return of things, The Seer felt very uncomfortable.

Ghost Sweeper Minami and her two companions shivered in the night.

"What the hell was that?" she whispered.

Ghost Sweeper Reiko Mikami shook her head. "I don't know. I have never felt anything like that before. It was...powerful. One of the Dark Gods perhaps?"

Ayaka Kisagi shook her head vehemently. "Are you kidding? None of them are that powerful. It was something much stronger. And the worst part is I think that was just its wake. I'm pretty sure whatever it was we felt was only the smallest fragment of its full self."

Mikami looked her companions over. She had to admit, working with her Phantom Quest Corp. rival and the arrogant little punk that kept referring to Mikami as an 'aging mercenary cow' had been intoxicating.

Minami looked sheepishly at Mikami. "I may have to amend that bit about you being old," she muttered. Mikami had saved her life back when the purple menace threatened to kill her. The creature sure had an insidious plan for taking over all the worlds in the multiverse. And it was such a subtle scheme too. If Ayaka hadn't stumbled on one of the demon's essences that had been hidden in the unassuming figures and had gone wild, the creatures would have overrun the earth and spread out from there.

"What about the mercenary part?" Mikami asked.

Minami raised an eyebrow at that. She had swallowed her pride and gave a partial apology and now her rival wanted more. Fine. If that was the way she wanted it that was going to be the way she got it.

"You do realize we didn't get paid. Don't you?"

Mikami's reaction was almost instantaneous. "You're right! NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ayaka joined in the tearworks as Minami shook her head and left. The mercenary part was staying. Why couldn't people like those two work for the benefit of mankind instead of doing it for a buck?

Minami could almost begin jumping in joy. She was at last in Japan after getting sidetracked so many times. And she was going to help out Ukyou and Ai, assuming Fistandantilus's information was correct.

Her body still ached from the war she had just undergone to stop the demonic creature that had threatened to take over the world through the insidious way of brainwashing everyone into mindless automatons. But in the end the trio of demon-killers fought the demonic intelligence behind it and banished it to another realm. Its magical foothold on the world should start to decline any day now.

As she walked back to Nerima she found the beasts mind-numbing chant begin to echo through her mind. There was no way she could block it out just yet, it was going to take time. Hopefully very soon, since if she started humming it out loud there was little doubt she would end up lynched. The words kept recycling themselves in her mind. It really was a very insidious chant.

"I love you. You love me..."

Akane took another flying leap kick at Tarou. He parried the kick, frustrating Akane to the point where she immediately tried to come in low with another kick of her own. With her level of training she should have known better that to attempt such an attack while Tarou still had his balance. He easily blocked the blow and threw Akane halfway across the gym.

He paused a moment to catch his breath. "That was a clumsy strike. You should know better."

Akane picked herself up and immediately went for another attack. Tarou's attempt to get her to hold off barely worked as she drew back her hand for a chop.

"Let's take a break." He approached and placed his hand atop her shoulder, trying to ease her mind and get her used to his touch. She gave a narrow look at the hand then gently ran her hand over his. The happiness Tarou felt was momentary as the gentle touch quickly turned into a body toss which left him on his back and staring at the ceiling.

"What's gotten into you?!" he shouted as he returned to a vertical base. If it had been anyone else that had dared to do that they would have ended up spitting out teeth.

Akane gave him a satisfied smirk. "I need to get better."

"You are."

Desperation was in her voice. "Faster. I need to get a lot better a lot faster and I don't want to horse around. I don't have that much time to be here, you know. Chisa can only cover for me for so long before someone realizes I'm not at her house."

Tarou's irritation was beginning to get to him. "Why are you doing that anyway? I thought you said you didn't care what Ranma thought."

"I don't!" she snapped back. "It's not Ranma I'm keeping this secret from."

Tarou's eyebrows shot up at that. Akane was keeping secrets from someone other than Ranma. "Is it Nabiki?"

"No. Why would you think that?"

Now was a golden opportunity to plant some seeds of distrust of Nabiki in Akane. There was always the possibility Nabiki would try to inform her of what Tarou was doing behind her back. He had covered his tracks well, and had fake alibis for a lot of his whereabouts during events he could be accused of wrongdoings, but the middle Tendo was unusually savvy and might cook up some scheme to inconvenience him. Best to cover all the bases.

"I like taking care of my own problems."

Akane became concerned. "What sort of problem? It doesn't have anything to do with Nabiki, does it?"

"I'm not sure..." He allowed it to trail off just enough to make it sound as though he wanted to tell but just needed a little push to make him spit it out.

"Tarou. I'm here to help you the way you help me. Now spit it out."

He had her. Just one more thing. "Promise me you won't tell anyone."

She reluctantly agreed to it. It was all in place. "I spotted someone following me. When I confronted him about it I found out Nabiki had put him on me."

Akane's eyes grew wide. "Why would she do that?"

Tarou put on an expression of pain. "I think I know why. Remember, the first time I popped up I was tricked into attacking Ranma and Shampoo. I bet they told her stuff about me and now she thinks I'm bad news. She was probably just looking out for your welfare."

"I can take care of myself," Akane replied indignantly. "She doesn't have to do that. She just doesn't understand you."

Tarou smiled to himself. It was working.

"I'll have to talk to her. Don't worry. I'll get things straightened out," Akane said

OOPS. That wouldn't do. "No! I take care of my own problems. Besides, it would just make her resent me all the more. I'll just have a pleasant conversation with her and ask her not to do anything. I know how much she means to you and I want to try to get on her good side."

Akane nodded her head. "Well, she can be manipulative sometimes, so try to keep that in mind when you're dealing with her. And if she gives you any further trouble you can come to me and I'll straighten her out. Sometimes she just doesn't know when to quit. Now, let's get back to practicing."

Tarou smiled and went back into his guard position, ready to continue. Now that he had gone a long way in covering his butt, things were really starting to go his way. Once he figured out who Akane was keeping her training from he might even be able to help her again.

"We'll go over using kicks into the legs. Just remember that if you're going to take your opponent out, don't do it half-assed. Go for something that will leave him crying in pain hours on end."

Ryonami was a little uneasy about meeting Nabiki at the place she requested. It was not the sort of locale she wished to meet anyone, and love hotels that charged by the hour were definitely on the off list when meeting other girls. No matter how much Ryonami liked her newfound idol and mentor, she was not like Ai and did not enjoy the company of women. If Nabiki was going to come onto her Ryonami was going to have to think of a way to let her down gently. Maybe she was a little fawning when it came to her boss, but she honestly did not believe she was giving off any signals which would make Nabiki think she was coming onto her.

Ryonami paid for the room at the appointed time and left off the fake name Nabiki had told her to use. She headed up and eased herself onto the bed, mentally playing a thousand different speeches in her mind as to how to let her boss down easily. As she played each one in her head she found herself losing courage over the whole idea. Maybe she should go ahead and give in. It wasn't as though a lot of the guys came on to skinny, plain-looking girls like her.

Just as she decided on a final plan the door slowly opened. Ryonami laid back on the bed and spread out, loudly saying. "All right! I'll give myself to you!"

When there was no response forthcoming. Ryonami looked up to see a man with long black hair, a longer trenchcoat, and sunglasses enter the bedchamber and draw back, surprised. After a moment the figure composed itself and began speaking.

"Good idea." It drew the door behind it closed and entered the room. "Remember to moan out every now and then so people think we really are getting it on."

Ryonami at last placed the voice as the figure started to take off its coat. "Boss?"

"Who were you expecting?" Nabiki said as she took off her disguise and gently laid it on the bed.

"Ahh. No one." She then quickly corrected. "I mean your disguise is so good that it surprised even me. Why are you dressed like a guy, by the way?"

Nabiki smiled at the compliment and began to explain. "We can't have anyone seeing us together. I have a job that needs to be done, Ryo-chan, and you are the only one I can trust."

Ryonami blushed at the compliment. Oh how her sempai could make her feel like a million yen. If Nabiki was going to proposition her she would give in. "Whatever it is, I'll do it. But why me? You've only known me for a little over a month."

"You were the only one that managed to get word to me about Tarou and you don't seem to have any resentment towards me, like some of the people I work with," she reluctantly admitted. "Now this might be a bit dangerous. As you know, good old Pantyhose has weaseled his way into my network. What you don't know is he has threatened me too."

Ryonami cringed. "That's scary. What are you going to do?"

"We are going to rip his fucking balls off and feed them to him." Nabiki watched Ryonami pale. "Not literally, just figuratively. Now what I need is for you to have a nice, big public fight with me so no one thinks the two of us are getting along. Then you're going to leave my organization and get out of Tarou's line of sight. That way you can move freely and get me the information I need to take him down. I'll get into contact with you secretly here, then the two of us will exchange information and I can give you orders. Is that okay with you?"

Ryonami agreed to everything.

"All right. Jump up and down on the bed and make some noise, just in case someone's listening. Moan a lot," Nabiki said as Ryonami raised a small ruckus that would leave the casual listener any doubt as to what was going on in the room.

Two nights later:

Ranma walked through the nighttime streets alone. Lately he had felt more alone than he had in a long time. It had nothing to do with the emotional roller coaster he had gone through when he had truly thought he was a girl; well, that was part of it since bits and pieces of errant memories made their presence known. And not all of them were coming back as part of the prodding others were giving to him. The problem was that with each memory he became more and more revolted with his behavior. The Ryouga ones were the worst so far. It was no wonder when Ranma had insisted Ryouga spill his guts about what he did with him while he was deranged, Ryouga went into 'Ranma prepare to die' mode. Were their positions reversed he would have probably done the same thing.

The first memory he had recovered was the bra and panties display he had done for the lost one. If that wasn't bad enough the worst part about it was he remembered the feelings he had when he confronted Ryouga just like they were his own. As a female he WANTED Ryouga to like her as a girl. It was so bad that when the recollection hit, Ranma had to go to the bathroom and concentrate to keep from losing his lunch. He regarded any feelings for Ryouga along those lines as quite nauseating and tried to keep any other memories from surfacing by pushing them out of his mind when they threatened to come to the forefront. Fortunately they were few and far between, though there was still a slow trickle that seeped through every now and then.

As to the other parts of the loneliness, Shampoo and Akane were to blame for those. Akane had begun spending more time with her friends and less time with Ranma. At first he thought his behavior as a girl might have alienated her, especially since she wouldn't talk about what the two of them did, but when he confronted Akane about it she had said she was just glad he was back and that he had actually been a pretty nice guy, for a girl. The state of confusion that left him was horrible enough that he decided to let things go and not hassle her about where she was spending her evenings.

Shampoo was even more confusing. He was really worried about her since that night she had disappeared with no explanation. She had returned in the middle of the night and insisted to the wide awake Ranma that nothing was wrong and she had just been feeling a little odd. Her eyes told a different story. There was a haunted look to them that he had only seen on her when they first encountered one another at Jusenkyou, and that scared him. He remembered the deep depression she had been in, one that had mirrored his own, and if she was now in a similar state of mind that could only mean trouble of the worst kind.

Trying to get her to open up was an exercise in futility. She maintained nothing was wrong and thanked Ranma for being so concerned about her welfare. It wasn't as though he could beat the information out of her, so he decided to let it go for a couple of days and try again later. Maybe Shampoo's tongue would loosen up once she realized there were friends for her all around.

As he wandered the streets it began to rain. Predictable, since he lacked an umbrella to keep it off. The rain started to come down heavily as the now female Ranma-chan continued her slow pace. Depression was really starting to weigh her down and was showing itself through her physical actions. Most of the people abandoned the sidewalk as they sought cover under awnings and alcoves to get out of the pouring deluge. Ranma-chan passed a rather large man that was obscured under a heavy rain slicker as he too walked slowly, though in the opposite direction of the girl.

Gemma was walking the rain drenched streets at a slow yet steady pace. He was less than half an hour away from arriving at the soon to be abandoned base of operations the Shogun of the Dark had been using. Events were at last coming to a head. It would just be a little more time before the Shogun's plan would reach fruition and Gemma would at last have that which he so desperately wanted: total control over Japan.

It had been his obsession since his birth to a poor dirt farmer centuries ago. The early part of his existence had been just that, an existence. His life amounted to nothing and never would. He was going to grow up as an equally poor dirt farmer like his parents, assuming disease or some natural disaster did not catch up to him first.

Fate took a hand in his future then. His parents died in poverty at the hands of one of the local diayamos for no other reason than they had been in the path of his horses. Other boys would have sworn revenge against the daiyamo for cutting down one's family when they were in the spring of their youth. Gemma was different. Had there been anyone around to ask him what he would do to the daiyamo for his actions, Gemma would have told them he would make the man a general in his army. The man had opened Gemma's eyes by showing him life's most important lessons. The weak deserved one of two fates: serve or die. How unfortunate the daiyamo had died of syphilis five years later and missed his opportunity for greatness.

At that point Gemma decided nothing less than the total subjugation of his homeland would satisfy him. He attained immortality and organized the Eight Devils of Kimone to serve him in schemes that would eventually lead to his goal. He even made the mistake of betraying the Shogun of the Dark when he saw an opportunity to take control of Japan for himself. In a way it was fortunate that Jubei sealed him in his 'Golden Hell' for several hundred years. Now that he understood what the Shogun truly represented he knew there were fates worse than being entombed alive while retaining consciousness. Much worse fates. But now he had been given a second chance. He served the Shogun once again, and this time it would be with unwavering loyalty.

The hood of his slicker remained wrapped tightly around his head. The rain was little more than a minor annoyance, but he still disliked getting wet. He passed a short red-haired girl as he made his way up the nearly deserted sidewalk.

The hackles rose on the back of Ranma-chan's neck. She paused, and almost as though some outside force were controlling her, and slowly turned to look behind her.

Gemma paused. Some intuition told him to turn around and look behind him.

Each figures saw the other one slowly turn around and stare at the other.

Ranma-chan stared at the large man and suddenly had what could only be described as an odd feeling. It was something she couldn't quite put her finger on. It was simply an urge to look in the man's eyes.

Gemma stared at the diminutive girl before him. Outside of red hair there was nothing remarkable about her appearance, yet he suddenly had what could only be described as an odd feeling. It was something he couldn't quite put his finger on. It was simply an urge to look in the girl's eyes.

There was something about his eyes Ranma-chan didn't like. Something dangerous about them as well as the man himself. He wasn't familiar, she was certain she would remember meeting someone that huge. Despite her feelings that he might be dangerous, the man did nothing other than stare back at her. She could hardly remain standing in the middle of the rain, unprotected and staring at a man she had never met before, so she forced herself to turn and leave.

There was something about her eyes Gemma didn't like. Something that made him feel threatened, though what danger a little girl still in her teens could do to someone like him was beyond his ability to grasp. She wasn't familiar, he was certain he would remember meeting someone that made him feel that way. Despite his feelings that she might be a threat, the girl did nothing other than stare back at him. He could hardly remain standing in the middle of the rain and stare at a girl that he had never met before, and couldn't kill in the middle of the city, so he forced himself to turn and leave.

Each of the figures would push the encounter to the back of their minds. There were more important things to do than worry about peculiar meetings with strangers that they were never going to see again.

Gemma arrived at the base a half hour later. Times had changed and the Shogun had changed with them, using a modern warehouse as his base of operations. The modern aspects of it were offset by the elaborate magic devices that were strewn about the place. Helms, rings, magic sigils, and alchemy reagents were all about, disorganized. The majority of them were going to have to be rounded up and prepared for overseas travel to China. It was all coming together at last. Japan would be his in no more than two months. A person with less control than he would undoubtedly laugh maniacally, but then self-control was what Gemma was all about.

He loudly announced his return and awaited the remaining Devils to flock to his call. It was much to his irritation that only his right hand man, Yurimaru and the blind swordsman, Ututsu Mujuru were present.

Yurimaru knew what was going on through Gemma's mind and answered before he could ask the question. "Tessai wanted to go out to the city again. He was most insistent and I would have had to use force to keep him here. I opted instead to make him promise not to cause trouble," Yurimaru explained in his soft, feminine voice.

Gemma's face was like a block of stone, the expression never changing. "And where is Benisato?"

"She went out a little while ago to make sure Tessai stays out of trouble."

It was several moments before Gemma spoke again. "I am...displeased." As he finished his statement he moved to go back outside.

"Allow me to accompany you." Yurimaru offered.

"No. Benisato will be more than enough to assist me if the need arises," Gemma said in an even voice, still not betraying a sign of emotion. "Pack up everything. I want it ready to move when I return." And with that he headed once more into the night, taking note that at least the rain had stopped. He also made a silent vow that if Tessai botched things up he would die again, and this time it would be a lot more painful than simply having his skull sliced through by his own blade.

Inside, Yurimaru gazed forlornly at where Gemma had been.

"So, he still hasn't accepted you back into his bed yet," Mujuru said amusedly.

Yurimaru glanced irritatedly at the blind swordsman. In an instant a wire shot out from his hand headed for Mujuru's throat. The wire never arrived at its destination as Mujuru's sword was out in an even quicker move and severed the metal in mid-air.

"Do not seek to snare me, or else you will not have to worry about what the Shogun will do to you for causing a disruption in his plans," Mujuru warned. "I only speak the truth. And if you try to slide that other wire along the floor any closer we shall see who is quicker indeed. And somehow I do not believe Lord Gemma would be enthusiastic about one of us killing the other. Aside from that you know what the Shogun said. I for one wish to enjoy existence without never-ending agony."

Yurimaru sniffed as he allowed the other wire to flow back into his sleeve. He had forgotten just how acute Mujuru's hearing was. "Let us pack the belongings then. We should not keep Lord Gemma waiting."

Tessai carelessly sorted through the compact disk shelves, knocking several of the disks down as he searched for that one elusive title he had heard one of the street punks speak of the other day. How could he resist a band with the name of 'Johnny Death and the Rapists'?

Since their collective resurrection all of the Devils were given a crash course in what had happened over the ensuing centuries. In truth the Shogun force fed information of those years into each of the Devils minds in a very painful magical process. Tessai hated the pain, but was not foolish enough to risk what the Shogun would do to him if he showed even the faintest sign of rebellion. The cowled man made certain they understood that by inflicting what he called only the tiniest amount of pain on each of them, save Gemma. That 'tiny amount' turned each one of them into drooling buckets of inarticulate flesh for the better part of a day. Even if he was bluffing, Tessai wanted no part of that agony again.

So the lot of them strove to understand what the brave new world was like. Of all of them Tessai was the first to adapt to the world. He had seen the changes and liked them. Liked them a lot! Debauchery and bloodshed was rampant throughout the world. Everything that had been hidden behind closed doors in the past was now open. Women showed off their flesh in public and the standards of beauty had been raised considerably. How ironic that in the 'good old days' a woman could be considered attractive if she didn't have warts.

And that wasn't even considering what kind of weapons that were now prevalent. Guns had replaced bows and arrows. Explosives had become more effective, and the damage weapons made was every bit as bloody as what was used in the past. The only complaint he would make was that they lacked the personal touch. There was no replacing the feeling one got when the shock was felt through the arm of a weapon making contact with flesh. He always got a kick out of that.

Then there was the sub-cultures that had developed while they had been dead. The one Tessai had already fallen in love with. He was now adorned in the raiment of those ones. A leather outfit, custom made for his seven foot six hundred pound frame, was worn out in the open now. It felt so much better than the rags he once wore. Everyone agreed that the clothing was made better. And then there was the series of tattoos he had up and down each arm. Oh, the tattoo artist appeared so startled when Tessai informed him of the number and kinds of body artwork he wanted on his arms. There was nothing like painting the entrails of an eviscerated man in a human canvas. That was among other images of horror that joined the first one that night. The artist was shocked that Tessai could withstand that much pain in one sitting, but he had done his job well enough that Tessai even gave him a big tip. It was a good thing for the artist that Tessai enjoyed the work; the man would not have liked the response if he hadn't.

But the thing that excited him the most wasn't the weaponry. It wasn't the clothing. It was the music. There was nothing from his time period that could compare with the cacophony of noise that had been created during his death. The first time he had heard the symphonic clash of heavy metal music he knew he had found home. For the first time in his life he was moved to tears. Even his first kill could not compare to the emotions he felt when he heard the music.

Some of the Devils expressed reservations about the world they were in. Those ones were fools. The world had not advanced past the Eight Devils of Kimone .

It had caught up to them.

Tessai at last found the CD he was looking for and purchased it. It was with an amused grin that he noticed the store clerk looked greatly relieved at his departure. Time had not made people more stupid, at least in that respect.

As he walked out of the store he realized he was in an exquisite mood. Everything was just perfect, perhaps the first time since his rebirth.

Then the boy ran into him.

It was a particularly powerful jostle for one so small. The boy mumbled something about being sorry and continued on. From what Tessai could make out, the bandanna-clad youth was in a deep state of depression. He wasn't going to have to worry about it much longer, Tessai would see to that. The little fool had disrupted the large man's mood. He quickly discarded the promise he had made to Yurimaru about keeping out of trouble. Besides, how much difficulty could it be to kill one short, rude teenager?

Ryouga was feeling exceptionally depressed on this particular evening. That should have been an unusual feeling for the boy who had everything he wanted. A girlfriend. A good friend. A job. A roof over his head. That was all he needed to make him happy. Or that was what he had told himself for so many years. Now that he at last had everything, save revenge on Ranma, he should have been pleased. But he wasn't, and he thought he knew why. Ukyou. She had been acknowledging him less and less, almost as though she no longer liked him. He had tried on three separate occasions to get her to talk about anything, even the lousy weather, but all she would do was give short answers and go back to petting her rabbit while she watched TV. After the third attempt Ryouga could take it no longer and headed outside, grabbing his umbrella to fend off the pouring rain. He spared one last glance at Ukyou, who he could have sworn was moving her head back from staring at him, and headed out into the night.

He managed to avoid getting wet until the rain stopped, but did get lost. Hardly a surprise there. He was overdue for a bout of aimless wandering in circles. He was so lost in misery at the idea he had done something to offend his friend that he barely registered the impact into the huge man coming out of the music store. A muttered, distracted apology was all he could muster as he continued on his aimless way.

His path took him to a deserted park. It was here that he finally broke down and raged at the skies above. If everything he wanted wasn't enough to make him happy, what was going to be?

He looked up to the heavens above. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? WHEN WILL THIS MISERY END?!"

"Now."

Ryouga looked up in confusion until he realized the voice had not come from above, but from behind him. He heard the whistling of an object hurtling towards him and looked back just in time to see a huge spinning weapon heading directly towards him. Reflexes took over as he leaped out of its path with less than half a second to spare. The thing flew on to a small cluster of trees and cut through them effortlessly as it continued its circular course back to its original direction. The weapon was snagged in mid-air by a hand that was attached to a giant of a man. Now that the object had stopped, Ryouga had a chance to stare at the missile weapon in amazement. It was a gigantic blade that appeared to be two giant swords stuck together. Combined they were as long as Ryouga and appeared to weigh close to two hundred pounds. Even Ryouga would have found it as least mildly uncomfortable to lug it around.

"What are you, crazy?!" Ryouga shouted. "You could have killed me."

"That was the idea," Tessai grunted. "You're rather spry. Looks like I'm actually going to have to try hard to carve you up."

He placed the weapon behind his back and it disappeared as though it were magic. Ryouga picked up on the posture of the huge man and prepared to vent some of his own frustrations at the man who had done the wrong thing, to the wrong guy, at the wrong time.

Benisato wandered the streets looking for the wayward Devil. Tessai was getting more like a loose cannon every day and it was going to cost the lot of them. It wasn't that she gave a damn about the man personally. He could go back to rotting in Hell as far as she was concerned, but like Gemma she desired a piece of the world to do with as she pleased. Her depredations were nowhere near the level of Tessai's or Mushizo's, but she knew she was unquestionably what the modern day doctors referred to as sociopathic. Not that that mattered to her. She was what she was without apology, just like the rest of the Devils. But she lacked the desire to do anything so depraved as ripping off the limbs of her victims and drinking their blood. Tessai really had developed some unusual habits over time.

Just as she was about to start searching yet another section of the town she heard the sounds of battle nearby.

"Tessai," she mumbled under her breath.

Tessai found himself thrown back into a wall again. It was really getting absurd. His opponent was a mere youth that should have been destroyed in a matter of moments, yet not only was he holding his own, he was actually winning the fight. The boy had a great deal of skill and was incredibly strong, and the combination was giving Tessai fits.

A right hook caught Tessai's opponent squarely on the jaw. It was a blow that would have decapitated a normal man. The boy just shook his head and nailed Tessai in the chest once more. Tessai decided it was time to pull out all of the stops. Since he was bound to attract attention anyway, he revealed his own supernatural ability, which he had kept hidden as per Lord Gemma's request. Not that revealing it made a bit of difference to him. There was only a couple of months left for the world anyway, assuming the Shogun's plan worked at all. Besides, if changing didn't work he could always resort to using the sword once more.

Ryouga was startled to see his opponent grin at him and stand still. Maybe he had hit the man too hard and addled his brain. That would be a surprise considering how much punishment the man had already absorbed and that he appeared ready for more. And his strength was great too, almost as much as the Dojo Destroyer. Though this big man had a lot more maneuverability.

Sensing the fight was almost over, Ryouga decided to pull his punch so as not to inflict any fatal damage on the man. Even if the guy had used lethal force at the beginning of the battle that did not mean the lost one was eager to kill him.

Ryouga drew back his fist and aimed for the huge man's solar plexus. Just as it was about to connect the shape of the man changed. Before Ryouga could react the man had grown close to another foot and his skin changed to that of stone. Very hard stone, as Ryouga could now attest to as his hand slammed into it rather painfully.

"Nice fight. Good bye!"

Tessai brought his fist down on top of Ryouga's head, the blow driving Ryouga three inches into the ground. Tessai's joy at the blow was cut short as he realized that Ryouga had not only survived it, but picked himself up and punched back, a lot harder this time as Tessai felt the impact of the blow, even through his stone-covered skin. Once more he backed up and this time drew his giant twin-sword blade, intent on splitting the lost one in twain.

The resuming of the duel was halted as a soft feminine voice spoke up.

"Now, now boys. There's no need to fight."

Ryouga looked up to see a beautiful woman standing on one of the newly half-demolished walls that surrounded the park. What little clothing she wore left very little to the imagination. And there was something almost hypnotic about her eyes.

"Stay out of this, Benisato," Tessai warned. "It's my fight. The little puke is about to die."

Benisato snickered at Tessai show of bravado. "You promised to behave and look what you've done. I can't wait to see what Gemma's going to do to you, after I take you back." With that she undid the clasp on the back of her nearly nonexistent dress. The garment fell to the ground, leaving her covered in nothing save a number of tattoos of long green snakes that adorned her body.

Ryouga wasn't able to begin his typical nosebleed. The woman's eyes seemed to bore into his soul. He could just make out Tessai say something when the large man's own voice dropped to almost nothing. It was then Ryouga noticed that the snake tattoos were now moving of their own volition. The effect was totally hypnotic as Ryouga suddenly lost the will to do anything other than watch the woman allow the serpents to move.

Benisato watched with an amused glance as the two men stared at her, caught up in the pattern of snakes. With both of them completely under her control she hopped down to the ground and recovered her clothing. Tessai was going to come with her, but she now had the problem of what to do with Ryouga. They were supposed to keep a low profile while still in Japan. If she killed him he might be missed, and the last thing they needed was some sort of investigation launched into their direction. If she left him alive then he might report them to the police. But would they believe him when he said that he had fought a man who turned to stone? Of course not. They would just assume the boy had been mugged and was confused about the nature of his attackers. With her course of action decided upon she left Ryouga where he was and headed back to the base with the compliant Tessai in tow. Gemma was going to have a field day with Tessai's actions today. It would serve the ass right if he was killed for his incompetence.

Tessai woke up to see Gemma in front of him. He did not waste words on excuses. He was not weak and Gemma would not listen anyway.

"I'll give you a choice. You may accept punishment from me instead the Shogun.

That was no choice at all. "I'm all yours," Tessai informed him.

The beating was almost enjoyable compared to what the Shogun had done to him when he first awakened. Tessai would be able to walk within hours after his punishment. Gemma must have been in an awful good mood to go so easy on him. Probably glad he dodged the bullet, so to speak. Tessai swore to himself if the he ever found the boy again he was going to break every bone in his body, then rip off his head and drink all of the blood that flowed from the headless stump.

Ryouga recovered after a couple of hours. It was much to his irritation that no one had even attempted to snap him out of the trance. From what he heard from the passers-by everyone seemed to have assumed it was some kind of performance piece. But the worst part about it was that every pigeon in the park must have used him for target practice.

If he ever laid eyes upon the stone guy again he was really going to give him a piece of his mind.

Shampoo-kun decided it would be best to have the upcoming conversation as a male. Kasumi was always responsive, but under these conditions it was probably a necessary tool to get his point across. Now that the two of them were alone in the house they could have the conversation without the risk of being overheard by anyone other than Birdy, and he wasn't going to be telling anyone.

He entered the kitchen and approached Kasumi. The actual amount of time she spent in there or cleaning up the house was extraordinary. How anyone could spend so much time doing the same thing over and over again was amazing. And yet she seemed so happy all the time. If he didn't know her so well he would probably have assumed that was all she was interested in. But he knew better, or so he thought. She had other, perfectly normal desires, she just kept them bottled up or pretended they weren't there. The impulses might not have been as strong in her as others, but they were there. Every now and then she would open up just a little around him, usually when he was male but sometimes when he was a girl, and he began to suspect there were other things going on inside.

The conversation he had with Nabiki several weeks ago about the situation came back to mind. She said Kasumi had actually been less open before his arrival. It was difficult for him to believe that, but it somehow felt as though those words were true. Nabiki had even gone out of her way to provide some subtle encouragement in that direction, almost as a de facto mother for Kasumi in a way, or at least as a sister looking out for another one's welfare.

"Kasumi," he intoned softly.

She turned from washing the dishes and smiled. An errant thought occurred to him. She always seemed to smile, but never laugh. He couldn't think of the last time she had really given a hearty laugh, or even a small one. He wanted to hear her laugh, even if it was only once. He wanted to hear what that voice would sound like as it roared with laughter.

"What is it?" Kasumi asked.

He gave a shake of his head. His thoughts were so focused on Kasumi that he had forgotten where he was. No time should be wasted. He wanted to cut through the chase and get to the point. Something about the meeting with Domino still disturbed him since nightmares of that mysterious rendezvous still plague his sleep.

"What if I could make you happy?" There. It was out.

"I am happy."

He should have anticipated the response. "No. I mean 'happy'." He made certain to emphasize the last word.

"I am 'happy,'" she placed an equal amount of emphasis on the word while continuing to appear as though she did not understand what point he was trying to get across. It was so difficult to tell when she really understood and feigned obliviousness and when she really was in the dark as to what was going on.

He walked over to her and placed his hands on her hips, drawing her closer to him. "No. I mean 'happy'."

"Oh, 'happy.'" At last she understood as she suddenly became nervous in his embrace. Then another thought struck her. "Is something wrong? Did grandfather Happosai find some of that Water of Permanency and splash you with it?"

He shook his head. Leave it to Kasumi to think something was wrong with him when he tried to have a heart to heart discussion. "No. I just want to know what you would feel if I was able to make you happy."

Surprisingly, Kasumi eased her way out of his grasp. "I don't like answering things like 'what if' questions. If it isn't going to happen then it's pointless to ask."

He pressed on. Something inside him needed to know. "Please answer."

Kasumi responded with a question of her own. "Do you want to be a boy?"

"Not really," he answered. And it was true, but if there were a chance that he could be separated into two opposites sexes as the price of removing the curse he might be able to go through with it.

"Exactly. If you weren't happy then I couldn't be either. So enough of this talk. I could use help in cleaning up."

Shampoo-kun went to cleaning the dishes, not feeling like talking any more. That discussion had solved next to nothing and did nothing to ease his mind at all. It was all probably nonsensical thoughts anyway. There probably wasn't any twins water in all of Japan.

Joketsuzoku, China

Perfume walked with a slow pace to the appointed meeting place. At last Be Dea felt that Cologne had enough of a head start that it would not appear too suspicious to send Perfume onto Shampoo's trail. Perfume was filled with trepidation at the task given to her. At first she thought up many different ways of getting out of it. Yes, she wanted to prove herself to everyone, she was not over that particular obsession and might not ever rid herself of it, but hunting down Shampoo and dragging her to her death felt terribly wrong. While it was true she owed Shampoo nothing, the longtime burning hatred was completely gone, replaced by the desire to have the best friend she had ever made back at her side where Shampoo belonged.

Before she had been assigned the task she expected Shampoo to return to the village, cured and ready to fall back into the role of champion of the Amazons. Several times Perfume considered returning to Jusenkyou and getting some Nyanniichuan herself, but each time she even thought about it the memory of being a sloth returned and her courage quickly faltered. She would never go back to that terrible place. Never. Shampoo was going to have to discover her own cure.

Perfume had finally settled on a plan to avoid going out on the hunt. The surest way was for her to break a leg. Just as she was in the process of getting the materials to do it something occurred to her. If she didn't go someone else would. Naturally whoever was assigned the task would fail, but they could possibly stumble onto Shampoo's curse. Then Shampoo would go from simply being recalled to being branded a fugitive from justice. Given the stigma still attached to the Nanniichuan curse there was little doubt the council would demand her immediate return by force, or worse, pass sentence on the fugitive without her being present and order an execution squad instead. So Perfume decided to accept the task with a smile on her face. After all, who said she couldn't take her time in bringing Shampoo back? Actually, no one even knew where Shampoo was located, so no one would question how long it took to track her down.

With her spirits uplifted she at last arrived at the rendezvous where Be Dea waited for her. The two exchanged greetings as Be Dea began to happily inform Perfume of her final instructions.

"Are you ready, child?"

"Yes, Elder." Perfume patted her light backpack and hefted hhe new titanium alloy naginta. No one would slice her new weapon in half this time.

"Excellent! By the way. Those are some interesting ideas in your little 'revised' edition of the 'Art of War'." Be Dea was shocked to discover that most of them made a great deal of sense. Perfume really was amazing.

"Thank you, Elder." Perfume kept her real opinion to herself. Of course they made sense. She would not have done them if they didn't.

Be Dea was practically bubbling with excitement. "You are to set out immediately. I've already instructed the others to wait by the gates for you, that way I can give the final instructions once you are all gathered together."

Perfume felt her throat constrict. "What others, Elder?"

Be Dea continued bouncing around like a woman one quarter of her age. "I have selected eighteen of the best of the young warriors to accompany you."

"I work best alone." Perfume could only pray that her protest would be enough. There was no other leverage with which to employ. If there were any others around her plans were going to be all for naught.

Be Dea took on a serious demeanor. "This matter is too important to take any chances. Xian-Pu needs to come back and this will increase your advantage." She began to take a more reassuring tone. "It's not that I believe you cannot accomplish this task alone, I am certain you can, there are other reasons I want all of the girls to accompany you. One is that they need to get out in the world. You are proof of what can be achieved if the young ones leave the nest and get a taste of what life outside the village is like. We've been too closed off of late and have fallen out of touch with the rest of the world. They need to see it for what it is and stand on their own for a little while."

Perfume nodded her head in agreement. She had come to those same conclusions when she returned from her absence.

"And there is one other reason. I wish to test your leadership skills."

"My leadership skills?" That came out almost as a whisper.

"Yes," Be Dea said. "If you are successful in this mission, and if you demonstrate good leadership qualities, I will consider you as the top contender for the next leader of the tribe. You will, of course, need more training. A decade more at least. But I will tell you this now, if you are even half the leader I believe you can be then the future of the tribe is assured. You have impressed me like no other, and that is saying a lot. With my backing you'll be set on the golden path to leadership. Just don't forget the little people like me when you're at the top," she joked.

Perfume began to sweat as she felt her heartbeat quicken and she walked around in an almost daze-like manner. The same word kept repeating itself in her mind. Leadership. She could be leader. All she had to do was what came naturally to her and she would receive the political backing of one of the most influential elders on the council. Her mind quickly processed the information she had just received. Once it was known that Shampoo had the Nanniichuan curse and that Cologne had known about it, the matriarch would be disgraced and fall from her role, her power base removed. Be Dea was next in line and would be the most influential leader the tribe would have seen in quite some time. And Perfume would be the next in line after that.

Four years of an obsession came to the forefront of her mind once again. She would be respected and openly acknowledged as the best. All would listen to her, she who was once the weakest and a joke. Then she would at last put those laughing demons that had mocked her to rest.

Reality intruded on the open-eyed dream. She was already openly acknowledged as the best amongst her peers. Well, except for Shampoo, who no one knew she had fought and lost to a second time. Shampoo, who was still better than her. Of course that might not have been the case anymore. Perfume had been practicing hard since her return home. One did not spend six years of constant training and just discontinue it at the drop of a hat. With her new chi technique she could possibly beat Shampoo one on one, and prove she was the dominate force of the Joketsuzoku. But there was still the problem of what to do about Shampoo. As Perfume weighed her desire to lead against her new relationship with Shampoo, the desire to keep her friend alive actually felt better than attaining her lifelong dream. But honor now demanded she bring the girl in, the consequences be damned. Perfume was not yet prepared to sacrifice her word like that. She was stuck between the classic rock and a hard place. And everything was getting worse.

Be Dea ushered her over to where a number of young girls waited. A quick count proved there were indeed eighteen of them, most having fallen to Perfume since her return. There would be hard feelings among some of the crowd. Their ages ranged from the oldest at twenty four, to the youngest at age fifteen. All in all it was quite a motley assortment of warriors before her. By plugging herself in the social structure of the village once again Perfume knew of some of the rivalries that had formed in her absence, and more than a few were represented here. Be Dea knew what she was talking about when she said this would be an effective test of her leadership abilities. Such various temperaments among so many young ones far from home would make controlling the collection difficult.

She should have been relieved at the idea that she had been given such an eclectic group. It would only serve to interfere in the hunt. But part of her was already automatically trying to figure out who needed to be kept from whom and how Perfume would use her skills at forcing them to get along without them realizing it. She was already trying to figure out how to lead them effectively.

"Listen," Be Dea commanded as all of the girls quieted down and listened to the elder. "Most of you already know what your mission is, but a few things need to be cleared up. First: Your job is to bring back Xian-Pu. This is of paramount importance and the whole reason you are going. It is the order of the council and must be obeyed at all costs. You are authorized to use whatever force is necessary to bring her back if she resists. Whatever force."

Perfume saw a few smiles grow at that and made a mental note of them. Shampoo had made more than a few enemies in Perfume's absence, and some of them would need little provocation to try to take Shampoo down if an opportunity presented itself. And given what shape Shampoo had been in when she last saw her, there was little doubt she would not be compliant and a bloodbath would follow.

"Second: Perfume is in charge. You will obey her without question. If you have any complaints about how she treats you you will wait until you return to inform me of them. Unless she does something that threatens the mission itself, obey her."

Perfume silently cursed. That meant some of the girls would be waiting for an opportunity to knock Perfume from her perch should she appear to shield Shampoo in any way. It was getting just better and better.

"Third: You will not fail. There are nineteen of you and only one of her. As good as she is you are far superior. This is a test for all of you. Failure would be looked down upon...seriously."

Mumbles of 'Jusenkyou' emanated from the warriors. Things were now worse than ever for Perfume. The girls were now motivated by a common goal and a threat of punishment. There would be no way of taking them off of their desire to accomplish the mission now. The only thing Perfume had going was that no one knew where Shampoo was.

"Ah! Just who I wanted to see," Be Dea said as someone had at last arrived.

Perfume turned to see that Silk had arrived. That made little sense. She was a friend of Cologne's and would provide little assistance in helping to track down Shampoo.

Many of the warriors warmly greeted Silk as she arrived, while she looked suspiciously at the group before her. "What did you want, Elder?"

"Where did you find the matriarch?"

Silk looked quizzically at Be Dea. "Nerima, Japan. Why?"

Be Dea didn't answer, but rather turned to Perfume. "That is where you will begin your hunt. I have little doubt that where Ku-Lon went Xian-Pu will be close by. Julep! Come here!"

Perfume looked confusedly at Be Dea. Julep was coming along? As a girl sat up from a crouched position in the back Perfume saw that the wild looking, raven-haired Julep was indeed part of the party. The girl must have been hidden towards the back in order for Perfume to miss her.

Julep was an unusual case. She was one of the rare children that had been born of the bloodline of the Musk Dynasty while not being an actual member of it. From what Perfume had heard, Julep's grandmother had been defeated by an exiled member of the Wolf Line of the Musk (Mint's grandfather, if the rumors were true), and had one child with her: Julep's mother. The rumors among the older folk who remembered the man seemed to universally agree that he was little more than a berzerker that was bad news wherever he went. When he died in a tragic 'accident' in which he was apparently stabbed, drowned, and poisoned, no one wept for his loss.

The mother took after Julep's grandmother and had very little in the way of the wolf attributes that her father possessed. But when Julep came along the wolf in her showed. It was widely regarded that she was even more feral than her grandfather had been. She possessed slitted eyes which always seemed to have a wild gleam to them. She was incredibly quick and also very independent minded, getting along with few others. On the outside she preferred to appear as though she had just gotten out of bed all the time. After she hit the age of twelve she had moved out on her own to the hills surrounding the village. Few ever saw her, save the occasional times she would wander into Joketsuzoku for supplies. There was also one other attribute Perfume had almost forgotten. Her sense of smell was so great she could track people with it.

Perfume's suspicions were confirmed when Be Dea announced that Julep would be able to track down Shampoo with ease. Perfume was about to mention something to the elder when she realized Julep was looking her over, even going so far as to sniff the air in front of Perfume. After apparently coming to a decision, she nodded he head.

"It'll be a pleasure working with you," Julep said, then turned and rejoined the group of girls.

"Impressive," Be Dea muttered. "She rarely warms up to people that fast. I practically had to order her to come along. She shifted her attention to the rest of the unit. "You can start talking with your group and get better acquainted with them. I expect you to leave within the hour."

Perfume bowed as Be Dea departed with Silk in tow.

Silk looked concerned towards Be Dea. "Why did you need to know the matriarch's whereabouts?"

"We are going to bring back Xian-Pu. She has been gone for far too long and I have a feeling she is somewhere near Ku-Lon." Be Dea gazed suspiciously at Silk. "Don't worry. I'm sure she's done nothing wrong. We just think it's best for her to come back. There are some terrible rumors that need to be put to rest and everyone is eager to see a rematch between her and Perfume. Outside of the Musk, that is one of the most talked about topics around."

"Of course. I can't wait to see it either." Silk smiled happily, all the while trying to decide what to do.

Perfume was in an uproar. Too much was happening too quickly and it appeared, at least initially, that she was going to have to bring Shampoo back after all. Curses were thought about why she had to be stupid enough not to go with the broken leg plan. As the myriad of thoughts overwhelmed her senses one of the warriors approached her. Perfume shifted her attention to the large and heavily muscled girl. It was one whom she had not fought against since her return. A quick visual inspection told her in moments who the girl was.

"Cabinet?"

Cabinet prostrated herself before Perfume. "I have come to beg for your forgiveness."

Perfume looked quickly around to see she had suddenly become the center of attention. She grabbed the prone Amazon before her and practically dragged her away from the rest of the group. Once out of sight she took the time to finally talk to the girl. "What was that all about?"

The large girl went to her knees. "It is a form of apology. I committed a grievous wrong against you many years ago and I have lacked the courage to apologize to you before now."

Perfume was not the sort of person that was easily surprised. Her life had the blessing/curse of 'living in interesting times'. She knew unexpected things occurred frequently, so she went into life expecting the unusual. But this was a bit much. The girl before her bore no resemblance to the bully who liked to ambush those that dared to defeat her.

"I accept. May I ask when you saw the light?"

Cabinet seemed greatly relieved by the acceptance and explained. "Just last year. It was nothing really momentous, as though someone made me pay for the sort of things I was doing. It was gradual. I realized what I was doing was just wrong and decided to change my ways. I have apologized to all of the others save yourself and Shampoo."

"I have been here for a while. Why did you wait for so long?"

Cabinet hesitated, then chose to go on. "The two of you defeated me and could have told others what I did, or taken vengeance yourselves on what I tried to do to you. Yet you did nothing, and for that I am grateful."

The seed of an idea was forming in Perfume's mind. "You still owe an apology to Shampoo then?"

Cabinet nodded.

"How are your combat skills now?"

"I am one of the five best fighters for our age," she said without a hint of bravado.

Perfume's instincts told her the change was from within, and was backed by strength, as opposed to weakness that was inflicted by others. The girl was telling the truth. Perfume would take the chance. "I admire a person that can admit when they are wrong. Allow me to show you how much faith I have in allowing you to be my second in command. If you're up to it."

Cabinet nearly cried out in joy. "I accept! Thank you for your confidence. I promise I won't let you down."

Perfume gave her a genuine smile. With the right words here and there she had little doubt that she would soon have someone who just might see things her way. Now all she had to do was convince seventeen others that she was a leader that could take them to hell and back.

And maybe she could get them to do it with a smile on their faces.

Epilogue

The next day:

Ai was putting the finishing touches on her make-up when she heard her sister shout out that one of her girlfriends was visiting. The comment was followed by a strange noise and then a howl.

Ai happily got up to greet her arrival, and if it was Ukyou the greeting would be a hug and a kiss. It was much to Ai's disappointment that it was only Minami, who was accompanied by a small dog, in the hallway. The ghost sweeper appeared as though she was angry at the little creature.

"That'll teach you to call me someone's 'girlfriend,'" she grumbled at the dog, who scurried away in fright.

"Where's Mariko?" Ai asked.

"Probably peeing on one of your carpets."

Ai understood immediately and smiled. Hopefully Minami could make the change permanent. Ai couldn't wait to 'housebreak' her sister.

"Are you the guest my sister was talking about?" Minami nodded, causing Ai to frown. "Darn! I hoped my true love had finally come over."

Minami gave a wicked grin. "You aren't going to have to worry about that anymore."

Ai grabbed Minami by the collar. "What have you done to my Ukyou?"

"Didn't do a thing. She's not my type," she quickly, and nervously, answered.

Ai released the hold and continued to scowl evilly at Minami. The ghost sweeper picked up on this and paused to reconsider her actions. Ai wasn't likely to take to a 'cure' that would threaten her relationship with Ukyou, so she was going to have to go about it the sneaky way.

"I have a gift for you." Minami brought out the pair of earrings with pearls in them, one of them being the magical one that would hopefully disrupt the magical influence Ai was under.

Ai shook her head. "I cannot accept gifts from you. My interest is only in Ukyou. Besides, you aren't very attractive."

Minami's face began to twitch. She had done too much and taken spent a great deal of time trying to get the cure and Ai was going to take it if it was the last thing on Earth she did. Minami placed her hand on Ai's shoulder.

"Don't be so familiar with me," Ai warned.

"It's not from me," Minami lied. "It's from Ukyou. She was too embarrassed to give it to you herself."

Ai gave a squeal of delight and snatched the earrings out of Minami's hand. When her hand came into contact with them she froze.

"How do you feel?" Minami asked.

Ai did not answer right away. Instead she began shaking, then turned red. Minami noticed a very familiar look return to those eyes. It was then Minami saw the smile start to widen on Ai's face, and began to wonder if maybe Ukyou had made a mistake. Most demons looked more pleasant then the girl before her.

Ai suddenly stopped all the shaking and gave Minami a level gaze.

"Kuonji's dead!"

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Special thanks to:

The Dream running scene was inspired by Urusei Yatsera Movie 2: Beautiful Dreamer.  
Frank Miller and Walt Simonson who really came up with the dog vs. ED-209 scene.

And :  
Ryan Anderson  
James Robert Bader (Shadowmane)  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	29. Dating Procedures

Joketsuzoku, China

Be Dea approached the house of Li Fhall in a rush. Her instincts were calling out that something was wrong and her plans were about to be upset. Be Dea REALLY did not like it when her plans were upset, and when that happened she let others know about it. She was so anxious that she nearly barged into the house without knocking.

Her first knock went unanswered, despite the fact she could hear someone moving around and a low moaning sound coming from inside. The second time she used her staff in a more authoritative manner. If there were no answer, a third knock would be applied with a single finger and a loud "BAKUSAI TENKETSU!"

Feet could be heard hurrying to the door, which opened a moment later by a woman dressed in a robe and a smile, and just barely the robe. Upon opening the door Li Fhall's irritated manner became a more mollified one.

"What can I do you for you, Elder?"

Be Dea cut to the chase. "Where's Silk? She was supposed to teach several of my grandchildren the finer points to binding wounds when she didn't show. Now I hear that no one has seen her the last couple of days. She isn't at her house, I already checked. I know you're friends with her and I was hoping you knew where she has gotten to."

Li Fhall appeared visibly relieved. "She's gone back to Japan."

Be Dea looked at her suspiciously. "Did she tell you why?"

"Oh yes!" Li Fhall said enthusiastically. "She said she's going back to her true love. Apparently she met him once again while she was there and has been depressed ever since. I told her she should go for it. It's probably too late for her to start a family, but she's one of the nicest people I know and deserves to have a happy home with a man she loves. I don't know what I'd do without mine."

"Honey," came a man's voice from inside.

"Hold on, dear. It's Elder Be Dea. I'll be back in a minute to ah...finish up."

Be Dea winced inwardly as she always did when listening to the young and their foolish romantic notions. Once you got older you understood how romance really worked, and it was never the ideal some chose to think it was.

As to Silk's departure, technically there was no reason to stop her. She was free to come and go as she pleased, but the coincidence of her trip at the same time as the hunt squad was disturbing. True, the talk of going to Nerima might have broken down what reservations she had about going back, and Be Dea had even heard her mention how much she missed that man back in Japan recently, but if she was leaving she could have helped out with the hunt. Acted as sort of an unofficial guardian as it were. Perhaps she was even doing that now, and was only worried about how the group of young girls would fare.

On the other hand she was friends with Cologne, and she might have gone to warn her. If that was the case she was going to be in a heap of trouble upon her return. Crossing swords with Be Dea was always a mistake and she was one to let others know just how grievous an error that was.

Always.

Chi-Kow, China

Feng Yau looked up to see the woman enter the bar. Carefully his observant eyes took in her form and sized her up as potential prey. A thief of his caliber always kept one eye open for the chance to make some money.

Her clothing was well worn and not impressive in the least, just common thread. The woman's movements were strained, as though she did not move too well and was in pain. Arthritis if he was not mistaken.

She plopped herself down next to Feng and brought out a coin purse. He allowed none of his intense interest to express itself upon his face. This was going to determine whether or not the woman would end up as a mark. It was with much disappointment that she brought out only the smallest handful of coins, looked sadly at them, and mumbled something about only enough for two drinks.

She purchased the drinks, downing the first one within seconds, and slowly nursed the second. It was at that moment she began conversing with him.

"Tell you what. I have seen some strange stuff on the road, but today took the cake."

That caught his interest. Strange things meant the potential for profit. He allowed himself an air of casual disinterest as she continued.

"I was going south along one of the roads to the west and I saw this group of people, right? And they have something out of sight underneath some kind of cloth. Well, as I'm going past one of them, one of the corners slips off by accident and it can see its this large box. One of them heavy duty kinds you need a tank to break into. Well I overhear them talking about treasury or something when they finally spot me. Then they get out a couple of swords and threaten me and tell me to scram. I mean what the heck are they doing?! It's a public road. I can use it, but no they chase me off like I'm a thief or something. Can you imagine someone like me as a thief? With these old bones I'm lucky I can still farm. People are just so rude nowadays. Why in my time-"

At that point Feng excused himself and went to round up the rest of his gang. Even if he hadn't heard the bit about the lock box there was no way he would remain next to the woman. Aside from the fact she smelled bad there was the talk of the 'good old days.' When old people went on like that it was time to leave quick lest you be trapped in a boring conversation about the merits of the past. His grandmother had been that way before she died, and he heard enough about the past to last him a lifetime.

Once he was gone for about thirty minutes the 'elderly' woman straightened up and moved like a cat, not the slightest hint of pain in her old bones. True, what she had done to the group of girls was hardly fair, but she had spent enough time around the town to know which gang Feng belonged to and just how small and ineffectual they were. Besides, those girls had better have been able to handle a band of common street trash. Silk had helped teach more than half of them and if they had even a difficult time with the gang they didn't deserve to be called warriors of the Joketsuzoku.

With any luck it would delay them for a little while and force them to move more slowly. Every day they were forced to make a detour or encountered a delay was one more Shampoo had to solve her problem.

Silk hoped she was doing the right thing. At the very least she was going to get a chance to see Soun again. She just hoped it was under pleasant circumstances and not as the herald of Shampoo's death.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 29

Dating Procedures

All C+C is greatly appreciated  
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at

Bloodblade has also given it a home at  
tokyo/towers/5920

For more information on the Eight Devils of Kimone I recommend going to Icefall's Ninja Scroll page at:  
NinjaScroll

or you can contact me at sommer

Standard disclaimer:  
I don't own the Ranma 1/2 characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

An alternate universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, neither one realizing there was already a duel going on at the far side of the pools. One accidental mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and briefly ended up engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma ended up engaged to Akane. After many months many friends and foes were made. Last Chapter, first contact was unwittingly made between Ryouga and Tessai of the Eight Devils of Kimone and Ai was freed of the influence of the love pill by Minami. Now it's time for people to start going out on dates...

Indicates Chinese

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"Did you hear the news?"

Akane leaned forward to hear what Malia was saying. Chisa and Sayuri nearly bowled her over as they huddled closer as well.

"Yuka is coming back," Malia informed them.

Akane and Sayuri nearly jumped for joy while Chisa remained silent.

"So what?" she asked.

"I don't think you met her. She's from before your time." Akane was still beaming at the news. "she used to be part of our close group. Anyway, she used to attend Furinkan a couple of years ago, but there was a slight problem."

"The Director," Sayuri explained.

Chisa shuddered at that. Now she recalled the other three mentioning Yuka every now and then. As she remembered it, The Director had kidnapped the girl and gave her his patented 'electro-shock acting lessons' which resulted in a nervous breakdown.

"She's been institutionalized for years. They say she's finally better now," Malia said. "She should be here any minute now."

Almost as if on cue a very frightened looking girl entered the room and began glancing around, her eyes settling on the quartet of girls. Once recognition dawned she began to relax.

"Come on over," Akane said softly as she got up and led Yuka over to the others. Akane was relieved to see the 'deer caught in the headlights' look was passing.

"Things have changed," Yuka said in a quiet, distant voice.

The others became slightly concerned. Yuka didn't quite seem like her old self. All three girls began to worry that perhaps the treatment wasn't successful and that she was close to repeating her breakdown. Akane decided to take to the lead and ease her old friend back into the swing of things.

Yuka scanned the room and assessed the changes. "We have a new teacher."

"That's Godai-sensei. He's a lot better than Watanabe-sensei was. Even if he is a bit of a pushover sometimes," Akane explained.

Her eyes continued looking over the room's occupants. "Why is that girl in a shrine maiden's outfit?"

"That's our resident ghost sweeper, Minami."

"There's a zombie in one of the seats."

"That's just Gosunukugi. He's harmless...and alive."

"Oh." She kept looking until someone else caught her interest. At last the others heard a bit of the old Yuka in the voice. "Who's that cute guy with the spatula on his back?"

"Actually that's a girl. Her name's Ukyou Kuonji."

Yuka looked incredulously at Akane. "Things have gotten a lot weirder around here."

"Wait until you meet our gym teacher. He's a genetically engineered combination of human and roach that tries to put all of the students through impossible physical tests to break us of our wills. Then there's the return of principal Kunou, who keeps making stupid rules for the school. And our new English teacher looks like she's six years old but is really twenty nine and can absorb people's chi so she can make herself into a super model." Akane turned to her friends "Did I leave anything out?"

"If you beat up the cutest guy in the school you can date him," Chisa brought up. "And we don't mean Kunou."

"Except Shampoo's going out with him," Sayuri mumbled.

Yuka watched all four of the girls' eyes turn towards a corner where there was a huddled mass of boys. She could just overhear the guys saying something.

"C'mon, Shampoo. Just one more time."

"No!" The voice could just identified as belonging to a female.

"Please. It's just so neat!"

"Oh all right. But only once," the voice relented.

*ZAP*

"Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo. Now let me put it in."

Akane cringed as she heard the sound of electricity and watched Yuka tense up. The crowd of boys parted to reveal Ranma-chan standing there with her back to the girls. Once Saotome turned around the five girls saw there was a glowing light bulb in her mouth. The result was predictable.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"There goes two years of therapy," Malia complained.

Akane slammed a desk into Ranma-chan's head. "Way to go, Shampoo!" And stomped off, taking Yuka to the school nurse to see if she had anything for repeat nervous breakdowns.

Ranma-chan lifted the desk off of her head. "Wahfh gouf imu dit gria maow?"

"Try that without the bulb in your mouth," Ryouga suggested.

Ranma-chan followed the advice. "What's got into that girl now?"

"You gave Yuka another nervous breakdown," Sayuri said acidly.

"If I didn't give her the first one how could I give her another!"

Sayuri shook her head. "I mean you aggravated an already existing condition. Hey! Now that I think about it, we were just talking about you and Ranma dating. Exactly when are the two of you going out?"

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun looked at one another. Ranma-chan spoke up first. "Ahh...well, tonight. Yeah! That's it. Tonight."

Shampoo-kun was out of his seat in a flash and embracing Ranma-chan. "I is so happy. You take Ranma out on date!"

The cries of anger and jealousy from the girls drowned out Ranma-chan shouting at Shampoo-kun to let her go.

Several of the girl huddled together out of earshot of the struggling couple.

"We'd better make sure Shampoo doesn't try to take advantage of Ranma."

"Yeah. He seems so innocent. If that minx gets him alone there's no telling what she'll do."

"We'll be chaperones."

"Yeah! That's it! That's the ticket. Chaperones."

"We'll protect Ranma and his innocence from the little tramp!"

All of the boys that overheard the conversation were very glad they weren't Shampoo.

It was after school when Ranma-chan decided to go to Ukyou's. The day had been eventful to say the least. She had been interrogated by several girls about exactly where she was taking Shampoo and exactly what they were going to do. Akane was angry with her for the electricity trick and got even angrier when she mentioned that she had to go on a date with Shampoo later in the night. It wasn't like Ranma-chan had any choice, and besides, Shampoo was fun to hang around with. Saotome was going to be damned if she was going to let Akane tell her who she could and couldn't spend time with.

As she made her way into the restaurant she was confronted with what might have been the most bizarre scene ever, which was saying a lot. The place was in shambles, Ryouga was laying unconscious on the floor. Ukyou was using a gaint dented spatula to fend Tsubasa who was crouched on all fours on a table and twitching his nose. Ranma-chan took note that her friend's clothing was torn in some rather revealing spots. There was also a peculiar sensation as she witnessed Tsubasa's behavior.

"What's going on?!"

Ukyou managed to take her eyes off of Tsubasa for a second to answer. "Keep back! Tsubasa thinks he's a rabbit!"

"What?!"

Ukyou swung at Tsubasa-usagi and explained what had happened. "Tsubasa was hiding in the store, disguised as a plant. Ryouga found him, grabbed Tsubasa's Bane, and tried chasing him out, only Tsubasa was adamant about staying and cowered in a corner. Ryouga stuck Bane in his face but he still wouldn't leave, he just got more scared. After a couple minutes of that he got quiet all of a sudden and stopped screaming. He scrunched down on all fours and began twitching his nose. The next thing I know he's hopping around while trying to wiggle his nonexistent cotton tail. Then Ryouga shouted at him for acting even more disturbed than usual. I guess Tsubasa didn't like that since he jumped up in the air and kicked him in the head about five hundred times. I heard him moan so I guess he's all right."

At that point in the story Ukyou had to pause to swing at Tsubasa-usagi, who tried to jump on her. She barely managed to ward him off with several hard swings.

Ranma-chan continued watching Tsubasa-usagi's behavior. She found herself getting the weirdest feeling as she observed the cross-dresser's movements. It did not seem as though he was trying to attack. "What's he doing now? It doesn't look like he's trying to hurt you."

"What do you think?" Ukyou scolded. "What are rabbits famous for?"

Ranma-chan found difficulty in summoning enough concentration for the answer. "Eating carrots?"

"No."

"Making lucky charms out of their feet?"

"No!"

"Hiding Easter Eggs?"

"NO!" Ukyou was about ready to give up on Tsubasa-usagi and strike her ex-fiancé. "Haven't you ever heard the saying 'two people going at it like rabbits'?"

Ranma-chan found it almost impossible to answer. "Yeah. So?"

"HE'S TRYING TO MOUNT ME!" Ukyou raged.

Ranma-chan couldn't answer as she suddenly found the world around her go dark.

"Ranma, you jackass! Get over here and protect my virginity!" She gave one more swing to keep Tsubasa-usagi at bay then turned back towards Ranma-chan. "Why aren't you...Ranma, why are you down on all fours?"

Tsubasa-usagi sensed something behind him. He turned and the sight before him struck fear into his heart.

"MMMMMMEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!"

Katsuragi relaxed next to his newsstand while talking with the owner of Ohtana's Bar, Ohtana himself. The two old friends would frequently converse while watching the events of the Nerima unfold. Both were gazing out at the street when they witnessed two blurs, one chasing the other, race past the newsstand and over the newly consecrated statue to Chthulu that the Nerima town council had finally got around to replacing.

"Now that's something you don't see everyday," Katsuragi said as he adjusted his baseball cap.

"What's that?" Ohtana asked.

"A cross-dresser that's learned the usagi-kyaku being chased by an aquatransexual who's learned the neko-ken."

Ohtana nodded in agreement. "Let's get a drink to celebrate!"

"Damn good idea!"

On the kami plane:

The Shadowhare raged at the scene that his scrying pool showed. At the rate he was going he would never be as feared as his chief rival, the Shadowcat. It was difficult enough trying to get people to dress up as carrots and allow themselves to be attacked by ravenous rabbits, but the few times they did and were sent into their usagi state some idiot with the neko-ken came by and spoiled the fun.

It couldn't be a coincidence. It had to be the damned Shadowcat's doing. It was his fault no one took the Shadowhare seriously. And if he had to hear one more person refer to him derisively as the 'Shadowbunny', he would kick them into oblivion.

He had to come up with a plan. A shift in the scrying pool showed two different scenes, an odd creature with black fur that looked like a rabbit and cat fusion and a blond girl in a sailor fuku. There was the potential for something there, he was sure of it. Even the girl's name, Usagi, was a sure sign that some greater destiny awaited her. Perhaps if the two were bonded together...

Nerima, Japan:

"Thanks for bringing me out of the cat fist," Ranma-chan said to Akane.

"No problem," Akane smiled warmly, then scowled. "It's not your fault your dad's an idiot. You sure you're okay?"

Akane had literally stumbled upon Ranma-neko while on her way home, spotting her in front of some kind of small pipe, crouched on all fours and waiting at the opening, almost as though she were stalking something. Realizing that something was horribly wrong with the whole situation, Akane waited a few minutes to see if she could figure out exactly what it was. She prayed that the smaller girl hadn't started chasing down rodents and tried eating them or something. To have her fiancé thinking he was a girl was bad enough, but to have him thinking he was a cat was really too much to take.

Sensing Ranma-neko wasn't in any hurry to leave her spot, Akane went over to see if she could bring her out of the neko-state. Ranma-neko spotted her immediately, and appeared as though she was going to make a break for it. Taking the initiative, Akane made soft soothing sounds as she approached. That was enough to relax Ranma-neko as she allowed Akane to approach, all the while keeping her attention on the mouth of the pipe before her.

Akane followed her fiancé's example and got down on all fours to see what had riveted Saotome's attention. She could just make out a cowering Tsubasa, who could only possibly fit into the narrow pipe by using the same method he usually employed with his disguises. The cross-dresser didn't say a word. He simply remained scrunched down and twitched his nose.

That was enough weirdness for one day. After much cajoling she managed to get Ranma-neko to abandon her stalking and follow the youngest Tendo as she led the redhead to some hot water to bring her out of the neko state. After that the duo went home.

Shampoo came from inside the house and glomped Ranma. "I is so happy we go out on date. When do you want to go?!"

Ranma pried himself out of her grasp, barely registering Akane's irritation as she stomped off. "Look, Shampoo. Maybe we should do this some other time."

"Why? Tonight is a nice night."

"Yeah. Well, it's been a long day and I'm kind of beat."

Shampoo was slightly confused. "Then we go out and have a good time. That way you feel better."

Ranma shook his head. "I don't think I will. Besides you shouldn't get all excited about this. I mean it ain't like I wanna go out on a date with you anyway."

A slight edge entered her voice. "What you mean, Ranma?"

He missed the change. "I mean we gotta go. I beat you in public and all, and it'll look bad if we don't."

"You mean you no want to go out?"

"Well, not on a date, y'know?"

Shampoo began shaking, forcing her anger into clenching and unclenching her fist. "I see. You no like me and not want to go anywhere with me. That fine!" And with that she stomped off.

Ranma went into his usual state of confusion when women behaved in a way he didn't understand. He began following her in irritation. "Hey! I didn't say that and don't go putting words in my mouth."

"I not talking to you!" She stomped into her room and shut the door.

Ranma stood outside and scowled at the door. "Why are you making such a big production out of this?"

"You no want to go out with me, fine! I no want to go out with you either!" The voice from behind the door shouted.

"Would you just..." Shampoo's last sentence finally registered with Ranma. "What do you mean you don't want to go out with me?"

Her head popped out of the door. "Just what I say! I no want to go out with you! You probably not know how to have a good time on date anyway. Jerk!" She retreated and slammed the door in Ranma's face.

"I do too know how to have a good time!" he shouted at the door as if it were what had just insulted him. "If you went out with me you'd have such a good time you wouldn't know what to do! And don't call me a jerk!"

"Forget it! I go out on date with Kasumi! She's a nice girl and probably know how to have a good time better than you anyway!"

Ranma turned red at the implication. "She does not know how to have a good time better than me! I know how to have the best time ever! No one dates better than me! Let's go out!"

"I not talking to you!" was the reply from behind the closed door.

"Damn it! I'm asking you out on a date!"

"So?"

Ranma began shaking his fist at the door. "So we are going out and I'm not taking no for an answer!"

"No!"

"Oh no! I'm not falling for that one! I said I'm not taking that as an answer! Open the door and go out with me or so help me I'll break it down and drag you out! Then I'll force you to go out on a date with me and you'll have a good time even if it kills both of us!"

Shampoo's head popped out. "You be ready at seven thirty. I take care of everything," she said calmly, then went back into her room.

Ranma crossed his arms and stared smugly at the door. "I showed her. No one stands me up! It's going to be the best date anyone anywhere has ever had. She's going to have the best time of her life tonight. HAHAHAHA!"

Kodachi gazed longingly at Mousse as he sat on one of the verandas overlooking the gardens of the Kunou Estate, a thin bladed dagger between his fingers occasionally flashed in the afternoon light as he absentmindedly twirled it. His attitude was beginning to worry her. It really was too bad that whatever he had thought was going to happen to Ranma a few days ago didn't work out. He had simply waited up all night for Kunou and Ranma to show up, but neither did, much to his disappointment. When Kunou finally showed, Mousse grilled him on everything that had happened after he left. All Kunou could remember was the 'foul Saotome' jumping on his back and waking up with a refreshed feeling. At that point Mousse said something about Xi Fa Xiang and left, disgusted with the ineptitude of the swordsman.

Now days later he still hadn't cheered up and Kodachi was getting desperate for a means to break him out of his stupor. There was one idea she had and if it didn't work she was going to apply just a little something to his next meal to turn his thoughts to one more worthy of him.

"Mousse-sama. Why don't we go out on a date tonight?"

He was silent for several seconds as he continued twirling his knives unabated. "Okay."

"It will cheer you up. We'll have a divine time where you will be treated just like the prince that you truly are."

"I said okay. We'll go out."

"I must insist you agree," she said, beginning to work herself into a huff. "You need to brighten up and this is just the sort of thing to make you forget about that awful Tarou and Ranma."

Mousse got up and crossed his hand in front of her face. "I said yes."

Kodachi appeared confused. He had always rejected her advances, so she had simply assumed he was going to resist and shut out what his actual answer was. As the realization of what he said sunk in she drifted back to reality. "This will be wonderful! I'll order you a suit made from the finest material money can buy. I shall proudly show the world what man has captured this single black rose from the field of red. We'll be the envy of all the peasants and peons. OHHOHOHOHOHO!"

As Kodachi skipped away and made her plans, Mousse had to admit he needed to get out, and it would placate Kodachi, at least for a little while. Besides, he hadn't done anything solely for himself in years. It would be good just to go out.

Akari entered the darkened hole-in-the-wall bar. She thought this was exactly the sort of place a nice girl like her should never see from the outside, let alone the inside, but the man she had talked to told her that the person she was searching for was located inside. She began to reconsider her decision in seeking the boy's help. If this was the sort of place he enjoyed hanging around in he might not be the sort of ally she was seeking.

The patrons all looked like rough, mean people, not at all like the farmers she was used to dealing with. The interior was run down, and the inside so dimly lit she couldn't see the floor. Judging by the way her shoes were sticking to it she probably did not want to see it. And the place smelled worse than any pig sty, not that such things smelled unpleasant to her. In fact, sties held a certain sort of delicious odor which was unmatchable anywhere.

Thoughts of the value of the smell of swine were abruptly cut off as a large, rough looking bald man approached her.

"AHHHH! A rapist!" Akari screamed, causing the man to cringe.

"Nononono! I just want to buy you a drink."

The man was hit over the head with a chair and collapsed to the floor. As he slumped down the figure behind him, chair still in hand, now became visible. He was an even rougher looking man than the first. Akari noted that several other tough looking men had gathered around her while she was distracted. She could only guess that they were the chair-man's friends.

The leader spoke up. "We're the rapists."

"Oh! Do you think I should apologize to the first man? I don't want him to think I'm rude in confusing him with you."

The group facefaulted.

Over at the far end of the bar, a semi-conscious young man heard the sounds of the argument. Slowly he raised his head from the bar, barely managing to avoid empty whiskey bottles around him, and dragged himself to his feet.

Akari became very concerned with the situation. Just because she couldn't ever marry didn't mean she wanted this sort of thing to happen. She was in such a panic that her hands trembled and she fumbled the canteen of water at her side, the water spilling out on the floor along with her hope.

"Can we talk this out?"

The leader shook his head. Just as he was about to go for Akari a fist struck him in the back of the head. Before he even hit the floor a whirlwind was among the circle, knocking out four more of them by the time the first attacker's unconscious body finally settled on the ground.

The three remaining men wisely decided to find safer environs, like the interior of a nuclear power plant, and left. Akari was shocked to discover the boy that had fought off the thugs was the same age as her. In the dim lighting of the bar it took her a moment to identify him.

"You're Ryu Kumon!"

The youth seemed to recoil at the name. His only response after that was to give a disgusted look at her then walk back to his place at the far end of the bar.

Akari was confused at the reaction. He looked exactly like the picture, except for the stubble of several weeks growth that had accumulated on his chin. If he wasn't Kumon then why did he not protest it? And if he was why didn't he acknowledge it? Rather than giving up she pursued him down to his place at the bar. "I've come here looking for you."

"So?" He settled himself at the bar and sorted through the bottles, hoping to find enough in the bottom of one of them to get at least one more decent shot of liquor.

"I need your help."

He gained a forlorn look as he realized there was nothing left in any of them. He couldn't even mix what was left in the bottoms to scrounge just one decent drink. "I don't give help to anyone."

"Even if it's revenge against Ranma?"

That caught Ryu's interest. He now gave a much closer examination of the girl, at last taking in her full form. "Why do you want revenge against him? What did he do to you?"

"Well," Akari began to explain. "It's not exactly Ranma I want revenge against. It's his girlfriend, Shampoo. She's the mean person that ruined my life."

Akari related the whole story to him. It was especially pleasing to her that Ryu appeared more and more sober as time went on. Maybe he was the man she was looking for. Once finished she waited to see his reaction.

"You actually cursed yourself to get revenge because you can't marry?"

Akari began to wonder if he really was sober. It had all been explained quite clearly.

He indicated she should get closer to him, as though he would whisper something in her ear. She did as she was bade.

"That is..." he whispered.

"Yes?"

"...THE MOST STUPID THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!"

Akari fell to the ground, both from shock and deafness. "Does that mean you're not going to help?" she said a little too loudly.

"Of course I won't!" Ryu continued his rant. "You think I want revenge on Saotome? If I did why the hell would I be getting drunk in this damn bar?"

"Because you're thirsty?"

Ryu facefaulted.

Akari sighed. People seemed to do that a lot around her lately. Maybe her inexperience at the revenge game was showing. "But if it weren't for Ranma. You would still be married."

Ryu shook his head. "Saotome didn't do a thing to me. I was the one responsible for what I did. If anything, Saotome helped to show me what I should have done. As soon as i met him I should have told Kaori..." His voice caught for a moment. "...everything. If I had been honest with her she would have been resentful for a little while, then got over it. But instead I tried perpetuating my lie and ended up losing everything. Saotome didn't make me pretend I was him or force me to lie to my wife even though I should have known I had her love and it wouldn't have mattered. I did all of that on my own. It was me that poisoned my marriage and doomed it. Ranma's blameless.

"And what's up with you?" He fingered the cloak she wore. "Have you taken a look at yourself?"

Akari shook her head. She had been caught up in trying to get revenge for so long she really hadn't taken the time to take a good hard look at herself.

"You aren't cut out for this. Hell, you freaked as soon as you entered this place. If you want to hang out with guys on par with Ranma and his buddies you got to be a whole lot tougher than that. You have to be able to level a place like this and as an afterthought light a cigarette with the burning ashes."

"I don't smoke."

There was a saying Ryu's father had taught him so long ago. The path of the martial artist is fraught with peril, unlike most people's lives. It is also fraught with those that simply don't get it, like most people's lives. No matter how irritating they were you could not just do away with them. There were too many of them to kill. Ryu resisted the urge to employ a Kijin Raishu Dan on her. She wouldn't get the point anyway.

"Let me put it to you this way. You are not cut out for this line of work. Go back to being a pig farmer and raise a litter of pigs."

There was a saying Akari's grandfather had taught her so long ago. The path of a pig farmer is fraught with those that don't understand pig farming. Those people were not very bright and because they did not understand pig farming there was also going to be something missing from their lives, so one should forgive them for their ignorance. There were also too many of them to kill. "Pigs aren't raised in litters." She watched Ryu's reaction. "And please stop facefaulting. It's very annoying."

"YOU HAVEN'T LISTENED TO A WORD I SAID!"

"Yes I have," Akari protested. "I'm just not following it."

Ryu shook his head. "You can't waste your life blaming Shampoo for you getting cursed -"

Akari cut him off. "I like being cursed."

"You do?" He asked in open disbelief.

She emphatically nodded her head. "Turning into a razorback is fun. I'm really tough and can do all sorts of neat things I could never do just as a girl. What I blame her for is ruining me. I can't get married now."

"Why are you so hung up on marriage?" Ryu asked. "Let me tell you something. Marriage is a crock of shit. You think you know someone and will spend your whole life with them, and then it all gets dumped on your face and you end up with nothing. Gimme a drink!" he shouted at the bartender.

Two shots of tequila were downed one after another before he continued. "You can't ever really trust someone and put all your heart into it. You settle down, have a couple kids, then your spouse has an affair or has gotta 'find herself', or they have a mid-life crisis, or they have some dark secret or something like that. It all ends up going to hell and you have nothing to show for it in the end. What you want to do is go out on dates. Don't get into serious relationships. Just have fun."

"I've never been on a date," Akari said.

Ryu looked at her in disbelief. "A good looking girl like you. Why not?"

A blush rose to her cheeks. "No one was ever strong enough to beat Katsunishiki. And I just figured I would date whoever I was going to marry."

"If you know you're going to marry him that defeats a lot of the purpose to dating." Ryu scratched his head as he considered exactly how to go about correcting the girl's obvious misconceptions and came up with what he considered the ideal solution. "I'll take you out."

"You will?" That didn't make any sense. She could not marry anyone, so why bother dating?

"Yep. I'll show you what a good time dates are so you can give up this stupid nonsense about revenge and get on with your life." More quietly he added. "Might as well do something good with my worthless existence. Can't help myself, maybe I can help others."

Akari found herself to be strangely excited about the whole idea. It really wasn't a justified reaction since it could never lead to anything.

"Don't get any ideas," Ryu warned as he took one last drink and began to lead Akari out the door. "This isn't going to lead to anything. I will never get married again."

"I can't ever marry anyone at all," Akari mentioned.

"Right!" And with that settled, the two walked out into the night.

Ukyou had finally gotten around to cleaning the mess that Tsubasa-usagi had made. With the restaurant in the chaotic state it was in, there was going to be no business conducted today. Ryouga had been carted off by Kyoko, despite insisting that he was perfectly fine. So that left Ukyou alone...again...naturally.

Silently she wondered if it was time to move on, but for all the problems she had there were some good things too. Okonomiyaki had made up so much of her life, that and vengeance against Ranma. One was abandoned so the other took up everything else. In spite of the occasional closings and fights she got into, her business was booming. It was doing so well that she had been considering building on an addition just to accommodate the sheer volume of customers. True, Shampoo was in no small way responsible for the increase in business the last couple of months, but it was her cooking that kept them coming back. Even the crappy take out store across the street had not cut into her profits. And in a way, she was more than pleased by the morning stare-offs she and Kaori had as each would open their restaurants and make ready to wage war in the battle for patrons. The take-out queen was losing, and it showed.

Rumors were already starting to spread about Uk-Chan's making one of the top fifty restaurants in Japan. Considering her youth and the humble size of her restaurant it was amazing she would even be considered for such a prestigious award. A fantasy began with her as the CEO of the okonomiyaki world. Kyoko was her personal footstool while Ryouga waited on her hand and foot, apologizing for his foolishness as the painful cords of jazz music played on...

She frowned at that thought. What was jazz music doing playing in her fantasy? She hated jazz. It was by far the worst clatter she had ever heard and dearly wished that it was outlawed from being played in the entire country.

The sound, which she refused to acknowledge was a form of music, was originating from next to Uk-Chan's. She went outside and followed the noise to the store next to hers. The fish seller that had been previously occupying the structure had gone out of business earlier in the week. There had been rumors that some foreign investor had purchased the property but there had been no word on what was going to be opened there.

Now that Ukyou had a chance to view the whole thing she saw that something had been moved into the vacant structure earlier in the day. She had been so distracted by the day's events that she had been unaware that anyone had moved anything in. Now a French bistro had taken the place of the previous business, and that was from whence the music came.

"Hello, Kuonji."

Ukyou felt her blood curdle as she recognized the sound of a thick French accent fill the air. She slowly turned around to see the all too familiar sight of Crepe Suzette. "Don't tell me-"

"-that I have decided to add some culture to this otherwise backward society?" Suzette smirked. "Oui. I have. It is my fondest wish that I convert all of the fools that choose to eat what you laughingly call cuisine to the only true form of cooking; that of French style food. Have a baget."

Suzette handed the stunned Ukyou a baget. Kuonji's surprise at the close proximity of her rival's new business, and the problems that were no doubt going to arise from it, made her completely forget one of the French chef's patented trademarks.

*BOOM*

Baget Bombs. Suzette's favorite. The French Cuisine Combat specialist danced in a spiral around Ukyou's still standing singed form.

Ukyou lacked the will to avenge herself of the wrongdoing this day. Exhaustion ruled her body as she slowly dragged herself back to her own restaurant and sat down at one of the only partially shattered tables. It was with misery she lay her head upon the wooden surface, trying to find the desire to continue on and fix the rest of the damage.

A sound from behind caught her attention. She looked up to see Ai, in full cheerleader regalia and baton, enter the establishment. "Hello, Ai," she managed weakly.

"Good evening Ku...Ukyou, my sweet." Her voice dripped honey as she addressed Ukyou.

Kuonji settled her head back on the table. She heard Ai move behind her as she simply stared at the surface once more. What the hell, she decided.

"Want to go out, Ai?"

The sound of a baton hitting the floor caused Ukyou to look behind her. Ai was staring at her wide-eyed, her hands left in a position that suggested she had until a moment ago, been holding the baton at an unusual angle.

"What's wrong?" Ukyou asked.

Ai shook off most of her surprise. "You startled me, that's all. Did you say you want to go out?"

"Yep." Ukyou answered in a somewhat tired voice. "You can even call it a date if you want. Keep your hands to yourself though. I don't want you putting the moves on me."

A bit of suspicion crept into Ai's voice. "That doesn't sound like much of a date."

"That's the deal. If you don't want to do go I'll understand." It probably was too much to hope for, but she was just so lonely that she needed someone, anyone, to spend time with. If only Ai was willing to behave herself.

"Okay." Ai said. "Meet back here in about an hour?"

Ukyou agreed. As Ai left the restaurant Ukyou realized the cheerleader had not once tried to glomp onto her or shout out words of affection. It was the most restrained she had seen the blond in a long time. Maybe she'd be able to keep her word and keep her hands to herself. Who knew, it just might turn into a good night after all.

The group of twelve girls set their surveillance equipment up across the street. All of them had sworn there was no way they were going to let Shampoo alone with Ranma for more than a second. They knew that was all the time that was needed for a tramp like her to put the moves on 'their' Ranma and do something naughty with him. It was all part of some insidious plot to marry the handsome boy, no doubt. Of course the fact that most of them would do the same thing were the positions reversed was not mentioned.

"Do we have visual access to all the windows?" one of the girls asked.

Another answered her. "Affirmative. The shotgun mikes are all in place."

"Umm, guys." A third one spoke up.

"What?"

"There's a woman waving at us. I think it's Akane's sister, Kasumi."

"Where?"

"From the kitchen window."

"Damn! I knew we should have used better camouflage sheets. What's she doing?"

"From her hand gestures, I think she's inviting us in."

"You're joking."

"Nope. It looks like it's for real."

The group considered that. It would give them better access to the house than the surveillance equipment provided, and they would be closer on hand should the need arise to keep Ranma from harm.

"I think she's offering us milk and cookies."

That settled it. No one had thought to bring food, and several of the girls had eaten over at Akane's before. Passing up Kasumi-offered food was too foolish to consider. The group accepted the invitation and made ready to spy on the date that was soon going to live in infamy, at least if they had anything to say about it.

Ranma examined himself in the mirror once more. The tuxedo he had rented looked good. No. Better than good.

"Perfect!" he commented to his reflection.

Akane stuck her head in the room first. "I don't care what you do! Have a great time on your stupid date!" She stomped off as quickly as she appeared.

Soun was next. "Son, how can you do this to your own fiancee?"

Genma followed, giving a disapproving look. "Boy, you disappoint me."

"Now you know how I feel about you every day!" he shot back.

"You're engaged. You can't go out on dates with anyone other than Akane."

Ranma looked smugly at his father. "Forget it, old man. I don't back down from a challenge. I'll make sure Shampoo has the best date of her entire life. No! Make that the best date anyone in the entire world has even been on! She's going to be so happy she'll never want to go out with anyone again!"

Soun turned in rage. "SAOTOME! This is all your fault! What kind of an irresponsible child did you raise?!"

Genma thought he saw the first vestiges of the demon form start to emerge. "The boy's probably still suffering from that blow that scrambled his personality. Let me hit him on the head and make him better."

A giant stone statue found its way on top of Genma's head.

"I've got a better idea. Why don't I hit you on the head and see if you become better?!" Ranma growled as he brushed the dirt from his hands .

"I'm feeling pretty good now, boy," he said dreamily from underneath the statue.

Ranma exited the room, leaving Soun to reproach the partially conscious Genma. He was considering whether or not to allow Shampoo to admire him before the date, or if he should surprise her, when Kasumi approached.

"What are you doing?" she asked with more than a little surprise in her voice.

Ranma examined himself, bewildered at Kasumi's reactions. "Getting ready for my date?"

"You can't go out like that. Allow me to help." She rushed into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a glass of water in hand which she calmly dumped over Ranma's head.

"Whad'ya do that for?!" Ranma-chan's suit was never going to dry out in time for the date.

Kasumi started to lead her back to the transformed girl's room. "You can't go out looking like that."

"Why not?"

Nabiki came downstairs and supplied the answer. "You're supposed to be going out as a girl. It was 'Shampoo' that defeated 'Ranma' at school. Remember?"

"Ah, so what? It ain't like anyone I know is going to see us."

"Excuse me." One of the school girls had come out of the kitchen and was looking for Kasumi. "Can we have some more of those cookies. They're delicious." She spotted Ranma-chan and waved. "Hello, tramp. Nice tux by the way. Hehehe." She left the three in the hall to inform her friends of what 'Shampoo' was wearing for her date .

"Of course. Nabiki." Kasumi turned to her sister. "Why don't you entertain our guests while I help 'Shampoo' out on her date?"

Nabiki sighed and went to the kitchen. There were still times she couldn't figure her out. At least she had had a chance to speak with Ryonami and gave her orders to interview Kaori Daikoku. Tarou had let something slip about being involved in the fights. Perhaps the take-out girl had some damning evidence that could be used against the youth whose days were numbered, even if he was too foolish to know it.

Ukyou had to admit, the guys would be drooling over her 'date'. Ai had dressed in a form fitting green evening gown that would have made Ukyou feel like a guy even if she didn't usually dress like one. As it was Ukyou herself felt underdressed in the men's suit she wore.

"You look nice," Ukyou admitted, regretting the words as they left her mouth. That was all the excuse Ai would need to apply a backbreaking glomp. It was much to Ukyou's surprise that Ai did nothing more then look curiously at her.

"Thank you." Ai smiled at the compliment. "You look as dashing as ever. Your tie's a little crooked though."

Ai moved closer to Ukyou, who figured the maneuver to be nothing more than an attempt to get close enough for the much anticipated glomp. It was yet another surprise when Ai did nothing more than straighten up the tie, then move a short distance back to get a full view of Ukyou.

"You're perfect now," Ai said warmly.

At that moment Ryouga returned from Kyoko's house where she had applied her ministrations. When she had first grabbed him, and after bandaging his head, she sat in his lap and tried necking with him, only to have him pass out on her. It took that long just to make him recover, and once he had, his only desire was to go back to his home.

"What's going on?" he asked as Kyoko entered behind him.

Ai gave an annoyed glare. "Ukyou and I are going out on a date."

Kyoko jumped up and down in joy. "That's wonderful! We'll make it a double date."

Surprisingly, Ryouga crossed his arms and looked suspiciously at Ai. "You two can't go on a date."

"Why?" Ai asked, anger evident in her voice.

Ryouga thought the answer was obvious. "You're both girls."

"Get your boyfriend into the nineties, Kyoko," Ai recommended as she looked back at Ukyou.

Seeing no one was paying attention to his logic, he chose a different course of action. "I think Kyoko and I will tag along." He barely registered Kyoko jumping onto his back in delight.

"You're hardly dressed for going out." Ai commented. Kyoko could probably get away with the ensemble she was wearing, but Ryouga was in his usual yellow shirt black pants gear. "Do you even own a suit?"

Ryouga smirked at the blond. "As a matter of fact, I do. I got it when I was traveling across time and space with the Doctor. Wait right here."

He ran off to the bathroom, got dragged out of it by Kyoko, and led to the correct room. He returned a moment later bearing a small square of cloth.

"Nice suit," Ai replied while barely restraining her laughter.

Ryouga laughed right back. "This is an Instant Outfit. All you need to do is add water and it expands over you in perfectly fitting apparel."

"Isn't Ryouga-kun a genius," Kyoko sighed.

"This I want to see," Ai said.

Ryouga grabbed some warm water and poured it on the cloth, instantly it increased in size and flowed over his body, just as he said it would. Once in place he posed for the trio of girls. Kyoko was gushing over him while Ai and Ukyou looked on, confused.

"What is that?" Ukyou said.

Ryouga examined himself more thoroughly. Sometimes the Instant Outfits malfunctioned. The last time Ryouga used one, during the gala on Antares Four, the back of the pants did not appear. Unfortunately he simply thought it was a drafty evening and it wasn't until much later the Doctor informed him of the error. When Ryouga confronted him about why he hadn't told him about the fact he was mooning everyone, the Doctor simply pointed out that the Antarens thought he was making a statement. It wasn't like the women complained about it either. In fact, that might have been why Queen Moursha herself had propositioned Ryouga during the evening's event. And he had just thought they were a very forward people.

No. His examination proved nothing out of place. "It's an outfit."

Ai shook her head. "What she's asking is, why does it look like you're ready to go to a coronation?"

Ryouga examined the Instant Outfit he had chosen. It was his opinion that the flowing robes and fur lined collar were quite tasteful. "It's royal Juraian formal wear. It was a gift from one of the queens since I did them a favor. It's the best thing I own."

"You might be overdressed now," Ukyou said.

Kyoko placed her arm around his waist. "He looks perfect. Let's go."

Without waiting for a response she pulled Ryouga along and led the way out. Ukyou and Ai shrugged their shoulders and followed suit.

Shampoo-kun was just straightening his tie when Nabiki knocked on the door, announcing who she was. With a reluctant sigh he allowed her to enter. "What you want?"

Nabiki examined Shampoo-kun before answering. Take out the fact the he was really a female Amazon warrior and she would have considered him handsome.

"I just wanted to know where you're going tonight."

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

She had prepared for this. "Because I want the date to go well. That way girls at the school will be impressed and want to go out with you. If they want to go out with you they will pay me money for ways to win you over."

That made sense. "We going to Kanemoto Towers."

Nabiki gave a low whistle at that. "That place is really expensive and the waiting list is weeks long. How did you swing that?"

"I have connections," Shampoo-kun smirked. That was all Nabiki was getting out of him tonight.

Nabiki nodded appreciatively. "Yep. Everyone's going to know you're a lady killer all right. You and Ranma have fun."

She left the room and headed immediately to the kitchen. As she entered she gave a big smile to all the girls seated there. "I can make life a lot easier for you."

"How?" one of them asked.

"I'll tell you where Ranma and Shampoo are going out on their date. Shall we begin the bidding at ten thousand yen?"

Ranma-chan was having a 'not nice' time. It was bad enough she had to wear a dress out in public (Kasumi had insisted on that). At least it was in good taste, having been picked out when Ranma-chan believed she was a girl. And it showed off a generous amount of cleavage, which the redhead found she liked, but now the eldest Tendo was simply going too far.

"I won't do it!"

"But you've done it before."

"That's only because I thought I was a girl!"

"Ranma. It's only for one night."

"No! I'm a guy. Guys don't do that."

"It's Shampoo's first date ever. You do want to look perfect, don't you?"

"I'm telling you it ain't right!"

"The other girls will think you look uncomely. They'll spread rumors around school about you not being able to look attractive on a date."

Ranma-chan considered that. No one called her ugly. "All right. But only a little bit."

"Right. You don't need a lot. Just enough to bring out your cheeks and a little shade for the eyes."

Kasumi finished applying the make-up and allowed Ranma-chan to examine herself in the mirror. Reluctantly she admitted it did make her look more attractive. Not that she enjoyed being a girl.

With one last adjustment to her dress she left Kasumi's bedroom and headed downstairs. As she came into view of the bottom she saw that Shampoo-kun was already there, his back to the stairway, and decked out in a tuxedo that was slightly different from the one Saotome had been wearing earlier. It was with a reluctant sigh that she admitted he looked even better than she had. Somehow he just made it appear bolder. Something about the way he held himself perhaps. Why, if Shampoo-kun hadn't really been a girl Ranma-chan might have actually gotten jealous over that fact.

She was almost to the bottom of the stairs when she saw one of the school girls rush up and place herself under his arm. Ranma-chan halted where she was in surprise. Why the hell was Shampoo-kun allowing the girl to be so familiar with him? A moment later a flash came from further down the hall and the Amazon removed his arm from the girl's grip.

"Next." Ranma-chan heard Nabiki's voice from the direction the flash took place. "Pay up first. That's better. Now come on, Ranma. You can smile better than that. You look like you're being lined up for a firing squad."

From her position behind Shampoo-kun, Ranma-chan saw the new girl, Kaede from the cheerleader squad, slowly move her hand up to the Amazon's rear end. Ranma-chan snarled out loud and was next to the cheerleader in a flash, a quick wrist lock forcing the girl to remove her hand from the place where it did not belong.

"AWW!" Kaede yelped as Ranma-chan maintained the lock and brought the hold up high in the air for the rest of the girls to see.

"Hand's off the merchandise, babe," Ranma-chan commented dryly as she loosed the hold and took up a position next to Shampoo-kun. Kaede had enough sense to know she was being dismissed, and totally out-powered, and did as Ranma-chan 'suggested'.

Ranma-chan heard a sharp intake of breath as Shampoo-kun looked down to the girl next to him. "You look very beautiful."

Ranma-chan felt herself blush at the compliment. Somehow, she found it impossible to look at Shampoo-kun, and turned her head away as she gave her thanks.

The Amazon's opinion was shared by the dozen girls that had collected in the hall. Twelve identical looks of jealousy and anger mixed with envy at the blushing pair. They really did look like the perfect couple.

Akane stormed down the stairs, making sure to jostle Ranma-chan as she went past. The redhead was about to say something when he noticed Akane was in a very pretty dress herself. Not that she looked better than Ranma-chan, or so she said to herself.

"Where are you going?" Ranma-chan asked.

Akane paused in her flight to growl at her fiancé. "I am going out on a date too. With Tarou."

Ranma-chan was about to snap something back when she realized something. Akane was trying to make her jealous. That was a laugh. Saotome was damned if she was going to let a transparent plan like that work. If Akane was desperate enough to go out with a loser wimp like Tarou, she could go ahead and have a miserable time. It wasn't like it was going to lead to anything anyway.

"Tell Pantyhose I said hi. You two have fun going out to eat. I'm sure Bull-butt will find some nice field to graze in."

Akane just got redder in the face and walked out the door. The jerk had actually encouraged her to go out. Fine! She would. And she would have a good time too!

"You ready?" Shampoo-kun asked.

Ranma-chan nodded in agreement as the two headed out, followed closely by the group of Furinkan students. After three blocks it became obvious the pack were not going anywhere. The redhead gave a sigh and turned to her companion.

"Lose them?"

Shampoo-kun nodded in agreement. Losing them was preferable to simply beating them up. A couple of the cheerleaders might be able to follow, but they could be dealt with if they managed to keep up.

The couple made their way across Nerima until they made it to under one of the structures that supported the rails that allowed one of the elevated trains to run past. The duo stood still, much to the concern of the band of followers, until a train approached.

"I sure hope this doesn't mess my hair up too much." Ranma-chan grumbled, not realizing just how feminine she sounded.

The two timed the leap perfectly, Ranma-chan first followed by Shampoo-kun. They would propel themselves halfway up on the first leap, then make the top of the train on the second. No one, not even the cheerleaders could keep up. After they traveled for a couple of miles on top of the train they could leap off and make their way to the restaurant in peace.

Shampoo-kun paused at the second leap and allowed Ranma-chan to jump first. As Saotome jumped the Amazon looked up, then followed. Once the duo landed on the top of the train they saw that the plan had worked. The pack of girls were unable to keep up and the couple watched as their shapes dwindled in the distance. After a few minutes they jumped down, and after making some minor straightenings to their oufits, continued on their way to the restaurant.

"Ranma," Shampoo-kun said.

"Yeah?"

"Boxers no go with that dress you wear."

Ranma-chan looked at her in confusion. "Hey! What are you doing looking under my dress?"

"It was an accident." He hoped she wouldn't see through the lie. It wasn't like he was going to molest her anyway. It was clean fun.

"Well, it better be," she mumbled, her suspicion aroused. After a few moments the feelings of the occasion won out and her mood lessened. "Besides. How would a guy like me look in lingerie? Heh, heh. Umm. Shampoo, why are you staring at me like that?"

"No reason." Even he didn't realize how lascivious the leer he was sporting was, which left Ranma-chan to silently wonder if going out was a good idea after all.

Akari was virtually dancing in the street as she went to meet Ryu for their...DATE! She had picked out the absolutely nicest dress she could find and purchased the matching handbag and shoes. Her outfit looked perfect. Not that she was excited about it. After all, it couldn't lead to anything since she could never get married, but perhaps it would be fun, just like Ryu said.

The building at which she was going to meet him was only a street away when she spotted two familiar figures making their way along the opposite side of the street. Quickly Akari hid in one of the side streets as the duo made their way past. It was the man who was supposed to be her husband and the mean girl, Shampoo. Both were in their cursed forms and dressed rather tastefully, although the idea that Ranma had good taste in women's clothes was not exactly reassuring. It would have been very disappointing to discover that, if Katsunishiki had not died, Akari would have been married to a pervert.

The two were continuing to talk pleasantly with one another, neither openly paying any attention to the world around them. It would be a simple task for Akari to run ahead to one of the rooftops, not announce the fact she was going to jump off the roof to Ranma and Shampoo like she had before, change herself into a razorback, and land very hard on Shampoo. Then she could stomp on the perverted Amazon and get family revenge.

But there was one problem with all of that. She would miss her date with Ryu Kumon. A silent war waged within about what course of action she should take. On the one hand there was: family honor (that was very important), nothing could come about from a date with Ryu (that was disappointing), it could be her only opportunity to get revenge on Shampoo (that was very important).

On the side of restraint there was: It would disappoint Ryu.

It should not have been important, not when compared to the other reasons, yet somehow she just couldn't bring herself to make someone who had gone so far out of his way to make her feel good, and try to assist her, feel bad. It was not as though there was any hope of reward on his part, he was simply doing it because he wanted to help. It would be rude to refuse that assistance and beat up people he was in the process of convincing her were not worth the effort. Akari Unyruu was many things, but being rude she was not.

She allowed Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun to walk out of sight, unmolested. Then she skipped off to rendezvous with her date.

Akane stormed into the gym where Tarou had been waiting for her. He was decked out in yet another tailor-made suit that he had prepared for just such emergencies.

"You look ravishing. I'm ready to gooooo!" He suddenly found himself being dragged off by the arm. What a wonderful night it was turning into. Not only had Akane approached him for a date, not only had she dressed up and looked even more beautiful than she usually did, but she was taking the initiative and setting the tempo for the date. He always suspected there was a wild hellcat underneath that (sexually) cool exterior. Something that wanted to let itself go and consume a studmuffin like him in a heated passion worthy of his wildest fantasies. Judging by how aggressively Akane was behaving, it looked like it was a very good thing he had packed some condoms for the date. He just hoped there would be enough.

"Where are we going?" he manage to get out as she continued dragging him by the arm. A love motel perhaps?

"We're going out to eat at the Kanemoto Towers." Nabiki had mentioned it to her before she left. She was not going just because Ranma and Shampoo were going to be there.

Whoa! Tarou remembered that it was an expensive place. Akane really was taking the initiative. As he settled into the situation, his mind tried working out exactly what could have happened to change her attitude. The most likely reason, as much as Tarou hated to admit it, was Ranma. Odds were good that he had done something to anger Akane. Curiously that sat fine with Tarou. If that was what it took to get his foot in the door, among other things he wanted other parts of his body to get into, he wouldn't complain. Only a sucker didn't take every advantage he could get away with.

Ukyou decided the restaurant Ai had chosen was rather nice. Akira's was more upscale than she was used to, and there was no way the food was going to compare to hers, but it had a pleasant atmosphere that was going to make eating a real treat. There was always something nice about somebody else doing the cooking. Once they had arrived the maitre'd took one look at Ryouga's appearance and began babbling about something in a foreign tongue. Ryouga was able to speak a little bit of the man's language and laughed sheepishly at him.

"He seems to think I'm really Jurian royalty. He said he'll get us the best seats in the house," Ryouga explained.

Kyoko stared dreamily at him. "You know so many people, Ryouga-kun."

Ai whispered something about crazy people that thought they were from space and managed to get their own table, just far enough away from Ryouga's that they would not be overheard.

Of all the things that had happened, the real surprise was Ai. Yes, she was living up to her word and not putting the moves on Ukyou, but there was not even the slightest hint she was restraining herself. Her behavior was mostly normal, save for the odd stares she gave to Ukyou. It was almost like the cheerleader was confused about something.

"Ukyou. Why did you ask me out tonight?"

Ukyou shrugged. "I thought you wanted to go out."

Ai shook her head. "I've wanted to go out with you for months. Why did you suddenly decide to do it tonight?"

"Promise not to get angry."

Surprisingly, Ai refused. "I'm going to get angry if it pisses me off."

Taking several moments to decide whether or not to spill it, Ukyou opted to go ahead. Even if Ai did not like the reason she was not going to react poorly to it. She was magically in love with Ukyou. "I was lonely. I wanted some company and I figured I owed it to you since you've tried to help out so much."

"I believed you thought of me just as a pain and annoyance."

There was some validity to that, but Ukyou wasn't about to admit to it. "Sometimes you are, but I know you mean well. You're not really a bad person. Except for the fact that you terrorize a large part of the school population. Or at least you used to. Now you just, well you know the way you are."

"No. I don't. Tell me what you see," Ai insisted.

"All right, you asked for it, sugar. I see someone who's under the influence of some stupid magic pill and does whatever it forces her to do. I see someone not in control of her own actions and doesn't have the free will to do what she wants. And maybe I haven't exactly been very understanding about that."

"You could have taken advantage of me," Ai said. "I would have done anything for you. I would have waited on you hand and foot. I would have happily rebuilt the Great Wall if you had wanted me to. I would have serviced you in any way you wanted. As a servant, a lover, a slave. Any way possible. The limit would only have been what your heart desired. If I was a pain you could have humiliated or degraded me to make yourself feel better. You could have loaned me out to others to get them to owe you favors. I would not have denied you. Anything for my 'darling Ukyou.'" The last was said sarcastically.

"Kami, Ai!" Ukyou said in shock. "I'm not that sort of person. I would never treat a dog that way, let alone another human being. I would never abuse you."

Ai's whole attitude suddenly changed as she once more became a lovesick puppy. "Are you sure about that? Having total control over a person can be an awfully tempting thing. If they're obedient to your every whim there isn't really any threat of rejection. It's safe. Safer than a real relationship would be."

"I don't want someone like that!"

Ukyou was surprised to have Ai settle back to her original mood, lift herself out of her seat and lean close to her, close enough that Ukyou could feel Ai's breath on her face. After taking a moment to look Ukyou in the eye she leaned back. "You're telling me the truth. Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?"

Ai sighed. "Believe it or not, most people would have done something. Perhaps not the way I described it, and not to those lengths, though there are people like that and worse, but you didn't do a thing."

"Most people aren't like that," Ukyou protested.

Ai shook her head sadly. " Yes, they are. Maybe you find it difficult to believe, but it's true. I have had the unfortunate opportunity to run into a few of them. They can be harsh, terrible people. And usually they are right next to you without you even knowing it."

"You're exaggerating."

Ai gave a chuckle at that. "It's the people you hang out with that give you that idea. I doubt if Hibiki or that Chinese fellow you call Ran-chan are much like that. But if I had swallowed that pill and looked first upon, say, Daisuke or any other guy, do you think they would have done nothing with me? Or even Nabiki or one of her little cohorts. Do you think any of them would have resisted the temptation of using me for their own ends? Not even a little bit?"

Ukyou found she could not quite disagree like she wanted to. If she had swallowed the pill there was no one, outside of Ranma or Ryouga, she would have truly trusted. Not even Shampoo, regardless of how well the two of them got along lately.

Ai picked up on the hesitation. "You agree. Good. You do have a tendency to fantasize about the way the world works, and those dreams have little to do with the way things really are. It's nice to see you thinking rationally for a change."

"I wouldn't sound so high and mighty." Ukyou was not reacting well to the criticism. "You were one of the worst before you swallowed that pill. I heard what they said about you and what you liked to do. You even tried to kick the crud out of Ranma to sleep with him."

Ai's face started to contort with anger, then relaxed. Ukyou assumed it was just the effects of the pill kicking in again.

"I've never pretended to be anything other than what I am. Yes, I like controlling my relationships, and I wanted to prove that I could make Ranma mine. I wanted to prove I was better than anyone else and could do it. I wanted control!"

Ukyou snorted at that. "Sounds like exactly the sort of person I want to avoid."

It took only a moment for Ukyou to notice the look of pain that crossed Ai's face. "I should have known. You're just like all the others."

Ukyou silently wondered if this was the way Ai acted when she wasn't around. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ai gave her a pained look. "Do you really want to know?"

As though she could resist a statement like that. "Yes."

"You think I'm some sort of tramp that just goes around taking what I want. It's been that way since I transferred to Furinkan. Maybe I deserve some of my reputation, but I'm not anywhere near as bad as my picture's been painted."

"From what I've seen it's on the mark. You bully people around and do what you want. It's just like one of your buddies said. You're the roughest, toughest cheerleader around and you take what you want without any remorse. You always want to be the one in charge."

"Only because I'm submissive," she said, just barely audible.

"What was that?" Ukyou couldn't believe Ai had the audacity to actually say that. The only time she was submissive was when she was with Ukyou, and that was only because of the pill. Then she saw the tears in Ai's eyes.

"I'm actually very submissive. You may not believe it, but it's true. My first inclination is to do what people want, even if it's not in my best interests. It gets worse the more aggressive people are. But life taught me at an early age that people like that end up leading very miserable lives.

"The original one to teach me was my first boyfriend back at Seisyun. I was pretty much a normal girl. I wanted a good guy. I had thought I'd found one. I think at first he cared for me, but as time went on he started realizing I'd do whatever he said, no matter what it was. He experimented at first, but I wanted to please him so I did what he asked. It got worse as time went on, and the things he wanted me to do were not...pleasant. I was a toy for him towards the end. I knew it and despite all that I still did as he wanted. It all ended when he had me..." she trailed off, trying to find the right words. "Let's just say that if I did end up getting my way with both you and Ranma at the same time, I would have made certain it was a much more pleasant experience than what was done to me. I don't treat people like that."

"You were raped?" Ukyou asked.

"Oh no!" Ai protested. "I went along with it. That's the worst part. I didn't want to resist, or at least the part of me that did never came to the forefront. I just wanted to do what he wanted." She cleared her throat. "Well, Mariko got me out of that situation. She explained it to him in no uncertain terms that he was to stay away from me. Of course he didn't want to comply. Fortunately we had good lawyers and there were no witnesses to what happened. It was probably the last time my sister and I got along. I think I miss that part of my life. I wonder if she does too."

"I'm sure she does," Ukyou offered.

Ai shook her head. "We aren't the same people we used to be. Anyway, the next guy I hooked up with was another mistake. He was a lot like the last one, and I started to fall into the same pattern. I lucked out with him though. He got crushed by a Youma before things went too far along. It's a lot like a car wreck I think. Everyone says that sort of thing will never happen to them, that it always happens to someone else. But people frequently get hurt in such fights and some are killed. It's just life I guess.

"After that I stayed away from the guys for a while. I didn't date any of them. Then I went for my first girl. I was always attracted to the same sex, so it's not like I 'converted' because of what happened to me. The first girl I went out with was nice. She was just what I was looking for. Now back then I kept my preferences a secret and so did she. Her family was real conservative and there is no way they would have been as understanding as mine. It was a wonderful three months, but we fell out of whatever it was we felt. It wasn't love, that much I know for certain. We separated under good terms, even remaining friends for a while. Then came girl number two, who ended up being just as bad as boy number one. Guess it's just my luck to draw people that want me bound to their will. You know all of those techniques I tried getting you to do with me?"

Ukyou blushed. She remembered them quite well. One didn't forget detailed propositions like that.

"She broke me into that sort of thing. It felt good, believe me, it felt real good. Physically anyway, but emotionally, that was a different story. She always treated me like an object. It was like I was some kind of experiment to her, there wasn't any emotion involved. At least not love, and I hated it.

"So one day I snapped and told her it was my turn to give the orders. She didn't like that, not one bit, so she tried getting rough with me. What I did next wasn't easy. I wanted to obey her, that was my instinct, but somehow I managed to lash out. It wasn't backed by any feeling, it was just sort of an automatic response to the situation. I had learned a little bit of Martial Arts Cheerleading by then. Just some stuff I picked up from Mariko. It was more than enough to put that bitch in her place. It was then I learned that some of the biggest talkers are actually the softest people. No backbone at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say I collected all that she owed me with interest. She never went back to school after that.

"I did a lot of serious thinking then. I found out I liked control. It meant I wasn't a submissive little girl. I was in charge and could give the orders and wouldn't have to act like someone's plaything. I still wanted to, but I buried those instincts as far down as I could. I became the exact opposite of what I was. I studied hard to become a master of Martial Arts Cheerleading. Mariko and I would have ended up having a duel for leadership if I hadn't transferred to Furinkan. I was the aggressor in my relationships, and I was always the one who initiated contact. If anyone came on to me, forget about it. I wasn't going to have any repeats of what happened before. Sex became a pastime without deep emotion. Everything I experienced taught me it wouldn't work out. All I would end up as would be another one's toy, so why bother with romance? I could enjoy the sex without the complications. And I was damned if I was going to let anyone find out what I was really like. Maybe I overdid it sometimes. Maybe I wanted to be in control too much. Maybe I was too aggressive and too violent, but at least I had my reasons.

"Now you're the only one that knows the truth. I trust you won't tell anyone. This isn't the sort of thing I would like to get out. I would hate to have to deny it vehemently by doing something...aggressive. And I will. I protect myself from anything I feel is a threat. Please believe me when I tell you I don't want you to be a threat."

Ukyou slowly shook her head, still in shock from the confessions Ai had just made. Nothing that was just said was ever going to pass from her lips. Not to Ryouga. Not to Ranma. No one.

But there was still the question of why Ai was acting so strangely. Not just with the confessions, but all night long. She had never been that serious, at least not with her. Not since the whole pill thing started. It was almost as if...

Then the truth dawned on her. "You aren't under the influence of the love pill!"

Ai smiled. "It took you long enough to figure that out. Minami came back and gave me a pearl which cancels the effects of the pill." She fingered the earring it was set in. "If this gets more than a foot away from my body I go back to the lovesick fool I've been for the past few months.

Ai's voice dropped to a low hiss. "Is that what you want? Do you want me to be like I was? If you ask real nice I might give the earring to you and we can go back to the way things were. It was a whole lot less complicated."

"Of course not!" Ukyou shot back. "How can you ask something like that?"

"Because without the earring I go back to the way I was before the whole pill mess started. As I recall we did not exactly get along. In fact, I was in the process of ruining your life. Aren't you afraid of what I can do to you now that I'm freed from the curse and remember how you rejected every one of my advances over the months? You remember how well I deal with rejection, like at the hospital. Are you sure you're up to dealing with the real me?"

"I meant what I said before," Ukyou reassured her. "I want you free of the pill no matter what the consequences are. I wouldn't want it to happen to me and I sure as hell don't want it to happen to anyone else. Even if it means kicking your ass again!"

Ai smiled at that. "Fine. We go back to the way things were."

Ukyou was confused. "If you just want things to go back to the way they were then why did you tell me all of this?"

Ai appeared disappointed. "Haven't you figured it out?"

"No."

Ai gave a soft chuckle to herself. Ukyou wasn't faking it. She really wasn't the brightest person around. Not stupid, just not brilliant. "When I first dropped by your place I was going to bash your head in with my baton. You have no idea how angry I was at being spurned by you for months on end. I really tried every trick in the book."

Ukyou suddenly realized why Ai had been in the position it had been in when she first arrived. "Why didn't you do it?"

"It all came together for me when you asked me out. A thousand angry feelings were extinguished when you did that." Ai waited to see if she had put it together yet.

Ukyou was at her wits' end. "What do you mean?"

"I love you, even without the influence of the love pill."

"When did that happened?" was all Ukyou could muster.

"You're dealing with it rather well I see," Ai responded sardonically. "For the first time in years I've discovered someone I trust. Really. Fully. Completely. If you were going to do anything to me you would have done it months ago. Trust is a hard thing to come by, especially for me, but you've earned it. For you I will lower all my defenses and be submissive to your will. I give you my heart, Ukyou Kuonji. No strings attached."

Ukyou stared blankly at her. Now all she could say was, "Oh."

"Somehow I expected a little more than that."

Ryouga had been staring at the back of Ukyou for sometime. She was having an animated conversation with Ai, but he could not quite make out what was being said.

"Ryouga-kun, are you listening to a word I said?"

"Of course." Not. He had other people to listen to.

"Thanks goodness. I was afraid you'd balk at the idea of a vasectomy."

"WHAT?!" That caught his attention.

"I thought as much," Kyoko looked disappointedly at him. "You aren't paying attention to me at all. I thought we were out on a date."

Ryouga looked around. Of course they were on a date. He could even think of the word without stuttering about it. He had come a long way from the nosebleeding bashful guy he was a couple of months ago. Except when Kyoko tried necking with him, then he would pass out.

"You are paying more attention to Ukyou and Ai." Kyoko scolded. "Don't tell me y...you're thinking about dumping me."

He spotted cry mode coming up. "Of course not. I'm just looking out for Ukyou. There's no telling how Ai's twisting her around and trying to get her to like girls."

"She's already like that," Kyoko said happily.

It took a moment for that one to register. "What do you mean?"

"She lived under the same roof as you," Kyoko purred. "If she could keep her hands off you, she must not like guys."

Ryouga laughed nervously and twiddled his fingers at that.

"Besides," she continued. "She dresses up like a guy and acts like one too. Everyone knows she must be weird."

Kyoko was amazed at Ryouga's reaction. He actually looked ANGRILY at her, causing her to cower.

"Uk-chan is not weird!" he snarled in unmistakable anger, frightening Kyoko even more. Boyfriends were not supposed to lose their tempers over other girls.

He continued. "She is the nicest, most thoughtful, likable, admirable, and if I could think of any other good adjectives to describe her I would use them now girl I've ever known. I owe her everything I have. Before I met her I was just an aimless wanderer with no one to care for and nothing in my heart except hatred for Ranma. And once I started hanging around Ukyou, even that got tiring. I realized there's more to life than trying to get revenge on someone who doesn't hate you back and di-"

*WHAM*

Ryouga stopped in mid-speech as he was struck in the head by Kyoko, who was wielding a candelabra she had pulled from off the table. "Are you feeling better?" she asked.

"Of course not!" he shouted as he pushed the candelabra away. "Why would I feel better because you hit me in the head?!"

"Well," she started to explain. "I overheard Ukyou talking about a friend she had who got a personality problem when he was hit in the head. He thought he was a girl, if you can believe that. Anyway, it sounded like you had a personality problem, so I hit you in the head to make you better."

"I do not have a personality problem."

"Yes you do. You were talking about swearing off revenge and speaking mean to me and making it sound as though you liked Ukyou more than me. Now if that doesn't sound like you have a personality problem then I don't know what does."

In a moment of clear thought it occurred to Ryouga that the saddest thing about the whole thing was Kyoko's sincere expression. She obviously believed it was true. Unfortunately for Ryouga, the moment passed before any other thoughts went through.

The huge, handsome-looking youth entered the restaurant dressed in a thousand dollar suit and looked over the establishment. It was cheaper then he was used to, but his hunger was threatening to overwhelm him and it was nearby. The maitre'd recognized him immediately and nearly passed out in joy. "Oh, sir!" he exclaimed. "Thank you for eating at our establishment. Our fame will skyrocket."

He simply smirked at the man. It was good to be appreciated. "Your best table, and make it quick."

"I can't do that for you, sir."

He arched his eyebrows at that. No one denied him his rightful due. "Why?"

"We have Jurian royalty here. He has the best table."

He had no idea what the man was talking about. The huge youth made his way into the dining area. "I shall have words with him." He neglected to mention most of the words would be 'break', 'kill', or just monosyllabic grunts.

As the large man made his way to what was obviously the best table in the house his eyes dawned in recognition. "It's her. KYOKO-BABY!"

Kyoko turned around at the sound of her name being called and was immediately sorry. Once she realized the youth was coming her way she gave a screech and hid behind Ryouga. The lost one was more than a little surprised by the behavior, but tensed up as he sensed the upcoming trouble.

"Who is that?" Ryouga asked.

Kyoko raised her voice to make certain it was loud enough for the newcomer to hear. "That's my EX-boyfriend. Tetsuo Argama."

"Not anymore, Baby." He gave a shining smile which caused half the women in the restaurant to swoon, much to the irritation of the men they were with. "I changed my name once I went pro. It's really Flex Lavender now."

"You should have changed it to 'The Cheating Casanova'. Stay away from me!"

"Hey, Baby. You can't mean that." He tried giving another gleaming smile, causing yet another twenty percent of the women to swoon and moan 'Sexy Flexy'. "I know there were some misunderstandings back then, but you were always the one for me."

"I was one of many, you mean. You went out with other women behind my back."

"Only a couple," he protested.

"How can you say that?" Kyoko shook her head in disbelief. "You went out with the whole cheerleader squad."

"Not at the same time, Baby."

"Like that's an excuse," she retorted. "You slept with Ai!"

"Everyone slept with her," he defended. "How can you hold that against me?"

"I wouldn't brag about that," Ai joined in at this point. "You're not that 'Flexy' or 'Sexy.' Believe me, I know."

"You want to know how I can hold it against you? Watch and learn," she said as she crossed her arms.

It was at this point Flex noticed who she was hiding behind. "Who's that?"

Kyoko brightened up. "This is my boyfriend. Ryouga-kun. He's a real man. The first real one I EVER dated and that includes you."

Flex began breathing faster as he became angrier. "I see how it is. He's poisoned your mind against me."

"Excuse me," Ryouga interrupted. "Do you have any relatives from China named Mousse?"

Flex was caught off guard by the question. "No."

"Just checking."

The hulking youth's confusion didn't last long. Whatever chance there was for a peaceful resolution was lost when Kyoko stuck out her tongue and made faces at Flex from behind Ryouga. "Enough talk. There aren't any mikes around anyway. PREPARE TO DIE, RYOUGA-KUN !"

Ryouga snapped up to his feet in rage. "How dare you steal my battle cry! PREPARE TO DIE, FLEX!"

Flex ripped off his suit allowing Ryouga to discover what profession he was in. "You're a professional wrestler?" The hot pink wrestling tights were a dead give away.

"Yeah! So what?"

"Wrestling's fake, and you're wearing hot pink tights. HAHAHAURK!" Ryouga suddenly found a thick hand locked around his throat. Maybe holding one's head back while laughing when a fight was going to break out wasn't such a good thing.

"Want to know why only real men can wear hot pink?" Flex growled as Ryouga squirmed in his grip.

"Why?" he choked out.

"Because they can," And with that he drove Ryouga's head through a table.

Ukyou got up to assist, but was prevented from leaving the table by a restraining hand from Ai.

"Don't worry about it," Ai reassured her.

Ukyou shook off the hand. "He might get hurt."

"Nah!" Ai waved it off dismissively. "I know how good Flex fights, Ryouga can take him. If you interfere it's just going to get Ryouga upset, and you don't want to anger him unnecessarily. Do you?"

Ukyou shook her head no as Ryouga got up and punched Flex in the jaw. They took the beginning of the restaurant's destruction as a cue to leave.

Akane was more than a little irritated by the maitre'd's behavior. "I just want one lousy table. Is that too much to ask for? It doesn't have to be next to a window or anything!"

The maitre'd scorned the girl tastefully. "We have no tables available, not now and not tomorrow. We are booked solid for the next month."

"We can eat somewhere else." Tarou tried to get Akane to cool down. Even if she did have her heart set on the Kanemoto Towers she was overreacting.

Akane was not about to let go. "I know for a fact you let someone make a reservation tonight."

Tarou started to put two and two together as he listened to the maitre'd insist she was mistaken. Someone was eating there and Akane wanted to get close to them. He sighed to himself. It was probably the Fem-boy and she was just using Tarou as an excuse to make him jealous. What a hassle. Too bad he hadn't shipped Ranma off to the slavers, as he wanted to. All of what was happening now could have been avoided.

Tarou was a little disappointed that Akane was willing to use him, although she probably would neither admit to it or even realize it. He wanted to think she wanted him along for himself instead of nothing more than a tool to make Ranma angry. What Tarou should have done was convince her to give it up and eat somewhere else, eventually having a good time with him. If she did manage to make it inside all she would end up doing was stalking Ranma and bothering him, making certain he had a crappy evening. An average plan that was direct, but lacking anything remotely resembling subtlety. Still, it wasn't like Akane was good at that sort of thing, which he found nice. He wanted to be involved with someone that was not like him. Someone that was different, like Akane was. A little naive perhaps, but basically what others would call a good person.

And he was going to give in to her. She never tried to manipulate him intentionally, and because of that he found himself going out of his way to help her. Love really was a weird thing if it got you to behave in ways that were not in your best self-interest.

Tarou was about to apply the same tactics he used on his first night with Akane when two huge bipedal robots with a lot of armaments walked up from inside the restaurant. Both of them took protective stations around the maitre'd.

"I'm afraid you are making a nuisance of yourselves. We here at Kanemoto Towers take our customers desire to not be bothered by nuisances very seriously. These are a special protective measure we have seen fit to employ should individuals make too great a nuisance of themselves. Meet the ED-209. A special robot we purchased from an American company that have an outstanding record in dealing with nuisances. Now I suggest you leave before that record becomes improved." He had already employed the robots to chase away a dozen annoying girls that insisted some boy inside had to be saved from some girl.

Tarou did not wait for Akane to agree. He simply grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the restaurant. Even he wasn't bulletproof enough to take on that kind of heavy armament, and it wasn't like he even wanted in anyway.

The maitre'd smiled to himself as the couple departed. Bringing out the ED's always worked. As he went over the reservation sheet once more a well dressed couple, a large woman and an older gentleman, began to exit the restaurant. The large woman was holding a small barking dog on a leash (Kanemoto Towers had a small section devoted to watching people's pets while they ate.), the noise from the little creature grating on everyone within earshot' hearing.

"I hope you enjoyed your meal." The maitre'd said as pleasantly as he could. He had been through the worst, and always maintained a courteous demeanor.

The woman's voice was as grating on the nerves as the dog's bark. "The food was awful, the atmosphere wretched, our fellow patrons looked like derelicts. If this is typical of the way this establishment is run I will not be coming back."

The maitre'd took note that the gentleman with her simply looked embarrassed. No doubt the poor man had gone through that sort of thing before.

"Even Sanchiro doesn't like this wretched little hovel."

He followed the leash to see how the annoying little dog was expressing his displeasure. The maitre'd stared, horrified. It had walked up to one of the ED's and was about to take a leak on one of the legs.

"Madame, I would suggest you stop your dog from-"

It was too late. When the dog started peeing on the foot the ED turned its sensors downward and observed the dog.

"YOU HAVE CAUSED A DISTURBANCE. YOU ARE A NUISANCE. YOU WILL STOP MAKING YOURSELF A NUISANSE-"

The maitre'd covered his ears.

"-NOW!"

*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM*

Once the shooting stopped the maitre'd observed the carnage. The annoying dog had been disintegrated in the blast and the large woman had passed out. Too bad about the ED's inability to refrain from using lethal force when dealing with annoyances. Still, that meant most people tried to avoid being labeled as an annoyance.

The man that was with the woman stared at where Sanchiro had been, looked at his wife's collapsed form, then smiled.

"We'll be eating here regularly from now on," he informed the maitre'd.

Tarou followed in Akane's wake again. And wake was a descriptive word for what she was leaving behind. He could practically feel her blood boiling.

"I am not a nuisance," she mumbled under her breath. "Damn Amazon's a nuisance. Why can't she just butt out and go home..." the rest was lost as it was mumbled even more quietly.

"Why don't we go somewhere else?"

"I want to eat there," she snapped back.

"No," Tarou corrected. It was time to see if he had guessed correctly. "You want to harass Ranma and Shampoo on their date."

The dull blue aura that popped up around her told the tale. "I do not!"

"Oh come off it!" He was going to try the tough love approach. "You're just jealous that your fiancé got herself a boyfriend."

"I AM NOT JEALOUS!"

Tarou could actually feel the heat from the chi jump. He held his hands up defensively and made a mental note to never get Akane jealous, not even if she really got him angry and he thought it was a good way to get back. There was no way the aftermath would be worth it.

Akane calmed down, slightly. "I want to make sure that bimbo doesn't take advantage of him."

"You mean Fem-boy?"

"No!" she snapped. "Of course I don't mean Ranma. I mean Shampoo."

Time to plant some more seeds of distrust. "Did you ever consider Ranma may be taking advantage of her...and you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He comes into your life with this attractive chick, not that she has anything on you," Flattery never hurt. "He's been hanging around for months and insists she sleeps under the same roof with him, never mind the fact he's freeloading. It's obvious. I think they've been screwing each other behind everyone's backs and are just waiting for a chance to get out of the engagement thing with you."

He watched Akane's face twitch slightly. Just as the first seeds of distrust began to take root Akane calmed herself down. The memory of the rooftop conversation replayed itself in her head. Ranma had spoken of Shampoo's caring for him as thought he had just stumbled on it, and afterward Shampoo had been irritated that Ranma forgot. No. Ranma had not been fooling around with her. Of that Akane was certain. All of the problems were Shampoo's fault...mostly.

"She's trying to sleep with him, but he's not doing it with her. I'm sure of that."

Tarou cursed inaudibly under his breath. He had failed. At least for tonight.

"If I let her alone with him she's going to ruin everything."

Tarou backed up in shock. She could NOT be falling for Fem-boy. No way. "Are you saying you want him?"

Akane suddenly backed up. "N...no. I just want to protect him from her. Ukyou was right. She's a brainless bimbo that can't be trusted. She'll just end up hurting him. I know it." She took a pleading tone. "I have to make sure she doesn't do anything with him. If she gets him to sleep with her I just know he's going to feel compelled to marry her. I don't want to see him blackmailed into doing something like that."

Tarou gave a sigh. If it was absolutely anyone else in the world he would never consider for a second what he was about to do. Love really did twist up one's guts, but if it was going to make Akane feel better, than he would do it this one time.

"Why don't I change and fly us up there? There are lots of windows all around the place and I'm sure you can look in."

Akane looked hopefully at him. "It's not too much of a bother?"

Wonderful. She was being thoughtful and considerate of his feelings. How was it she knew how to push all the right buttons without even trying? In answer he went over to a puddle and splashed himself with it, ruining yet another suit once again. He was going to have to stop bothering with them. It was just a waste of money.

"Thanks, Tarou. You're one of the most thoughtful people I know." she said and smiled at him. Maybe helping her wasn't such a bad thing after all. Not if it could get her to smile at him like that. He lifted her up and took to the air.

Mousse was actually quite pleased with his attire. The tailors had done a magnificent job of fitting the suit perfectly on him. It was hard to imagine how much it must have cost Kodachi to hire them to make the suit for him. He would have liked to have returned the favor, but money was not one of his strong suits. The only way he could return the favor was to be the prefect date for her. Hopefully it would be enough.

As for Kodachi herself, well, even Mousse would openly admit that he was stunned at how beautiful she appeared. Her bunched up hair and shoulderless black evening gown with elbow long white gloves fit her in all the right places. When she had first entered his room to see how the fitting was coming along, Mousse had been struck speechless. For the briefest of moments she was the most beautiful thing in the world to him. Then he remembered Shampoo and decided the Black Rose was the second most beautiful thing in the world. But a close second.

Now they were at the Kanemoto Towers, enjoying the most luxurious meal he ever had. Every bite of the food was like heaven. And the atmosphere was, well it was very mood-setting.

And then there was Kodachi herself. The Black Rose appeared even more perfect under the dim lighting of the restaurant. The gap to first place had narrowed considerably. The loving attention she was paying him made his ego soar and moved him like no other did. If Shampoo paid him any attention it would be different, but she never had and the woman before him did. Incredibly enough, he felt no guilt over it. Perhaps tomorrow, but not on this night. It was too perfect and both of them deserved a break.

"What are you thinking of Kodi-ch...Kodachi," he wasn't quite prepared to call her that. No matter how perfect the evening was he still had no desire to lead her on.

The attempted save didn't matter. Kodachi had heard enough. "Oh Mousse-sama, I was simply thinking of the wonderful time we're having."

Mousse found himself blushing at that. He had been doing that more and more lately, and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. Still, he was having a wonderful time and nothing could spoil the mood. Not even Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun, who were making their way from the waiting room to sit at one of the tables.

His eyes barely manage to focus on the couple. Sure enough. It was them. Instinctively he went for one of his concealed weapons, then stopped. Kodachi was looking at him with a hurt expression.

"You want to fight them?" she asked.

"Well," he began. "I want to...what I mean is that's what I usually do. At least to him."

"I thought we were having a good time. I see I was wrong." She started to get up from her seat and draw a concealed ribbon. "Very well. We shall make them pay for wh-" she stopped as a hand rested on her arm.

Mousse was just shocked as she was at his reaction. "Never mind. We can attack Ranma some other time. I don't want to ruin the evening."

"You don't?"

"No. I want this evening to go on perfectly, just like it has been. Let those two enjoy tonight. We'll have even more fun than them."

"Oh, Mousse-sama. Thank you." Kodachi was actually moved to tears. He wanted to have a good time with her instead of engaging in a useless duel. She almost had him now. She could feel it in her heart. Maybe she would add just a little something to his drink right before they left. Just a slight mood enhancer, like the one he had given him in Hawaii. That would make it truly a night to remember.

Shampoo-kun looked back to his date. Ranma-chan looked even more ravishing in the darkened lighting of the restaurant, and for the briefest of moments he felt sorry he had bludgeoned Ranma's personality back into its proper place.

Those thoughts were quickly banished. He felt much happier living the truth: he was on a date with a willing (and as well adjusted as she got) Ranma-chan. In the end he had done everything short of forcing her to go out with him. It may have taken a little misdirection on Shampoo-kun's part, but Ranma-chan really wanted to go or she would not have fallen into so obvious a snare, or would have resisted once she acceded to Shampoo-kun's demands. And nothing could top that feeling.

Of course the fact that the redhead in front of him was having what appeared to be less than a pleasant time dampened the mood considerably.

"What's wrong, Ranma?"

Ranma-chan responded to the concern with a laugh. "Nothing. I'm having a great time."

"Then why are you no smiling?"

"I dunno."

Shampoo-kun was becoming increasingly concerned. This was going a long ways adrift from what he had hoped would happen. Ideally he wanted Ranma-chan to confess her feelings of love for him and the two would run away together. Realistically he hoped it would go the way the original date they were supposed to have months ago was supposed to turn out. Of course that whole thing turned into a fiasco, so maybe he should settle for no one trying to kill the two of them tonight. Now it was looking like a fight could only make things better.

He at last dared to ask the question whose answer he feared. "Do you no want to be on date with me?"

Ranma-chan was going to play the whole thing off, but saw the look of concern deepen on Shampoo-kun's face. Uncharacteristically she felt the unmistakable urge to open up. "I feel awkward. I mean. I know we've gone out before, but not on a, y'know, date."

"Why is that so different? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do." Ranma-chan was having problems again. It seemed whenever the two of them had these heart to hearts she always ended up tongue tied. "You're a little weird sometimes, but I'd put my life in your hands. It's this whole thing. I'm not used to it. And I don't just mean the dress and make-up." She was surprised to discover she minded it a lot less than she thought she would. If someone had claimed a couple of months ago she was going to be on a date where she would wear a dress and not mind it, Ranma-chan would have unloaded an amaguriken on them. But things had changed, and she had no idea when it happened.

She continued. "This place is so high class. Then there's all this romantic stuff that's around. The candles, the dim lighting, the music they're playing, I'm not real comfortable around it."

"Is it because you is a girl?

Ranma-chan shook her head. "No. I wouldn't be comfortable around it as a guy either."

"I never been to a place like this before either, but I like it." Shampoo-kun got an idea. "No worry about anything. I don't care how you act. Just be yourself."

Ranma-chan agreed and tried to find something to speak about. "I noticed this place is a little expensive. I saw the prices on the menu. How can you afford something like this?"

"I make lots of money as a waiter at Ukyou's. The girls there tip very nice."

"They're pretty aggressive, aren't they?"

Shampoo-kun sighed. "Yes. They like to touch me when I go by tables."

"How can you stand it?" Ranma-chan asked. "I would punch out any guy that did that to me."

Shampoo-kun considered how to answer that. "I admit, I sort of like the attention. It nice to have people think me attractive, even as a boy, but you is also right. I don't like the way they treat me. I would not want to go out with someone that just treated me like an object, like Mousse. You never treat me like that. That's one of the reasons I want to go on a date with you. Unless you no like me and don't want to be on a date."

"Of course not!" Ranma-chan protested vehemently. "I guess I like spending my time with you. You're the only one I feel comfortable around as a guy or a girl. I mean it never matters to you."

"And what I am doesn't matter to you either," Shampoo-kun agreed.

The silence hung between them for a while, neither knowing what to say. For some odd reason the tension between the two of them seemed to increase despite the assurances they had just exchanged. In truth it felt almost as though that was the cause of it. Shampoo-kun tried first to break the tension between them by talking about the weather, people at school, and other non threatening topics. The attempts failed as neither was in the mood to sustain a talk about nothing. The minutes stretched as both were at a loss of how to continue.

Shampoo-kun became more desperate. The date was failing miserably and Ranma-chan would never want to go out again. The main problem was he felt too out of his element. Shampoo-kun frantically tried to come up with something. If they could both talk about something they both enjoyed. That might work.

"You never told me how you beat the fake Ranma. I missed your magnificent fight." Shampoo-kun said. Martial arts might do it. If not he was going to give up.

"You don't want to talk about that sort of stuff. We're on a date. Let's talk about date stuff. Like...y'know, what people are supposed to talk about when they're on a date." Whatever that was.

Shampoo-kun shook his head and smiled. "I don't want to talk about 'what we're supposed to talk about'. I want to talk about martial arts."

"Well. If you say so. But I know that isn't the sort of thing you're supposed to talk about on a date."

In spite if herself, Ranma-chan discovered a smile found its way to her face for the first time in the evening. Things loosened up as she described in detail the way the fight progressed. Of course everything was slanted to the 'facts she knew', like there was never any danger of her losing and most of Ryu's solid blows were just lucky shots. Ranma-chan was happy to discover that Shampoo-kun gave rapt attention to every detail she was giving, even going so far as to ask questions as to why she chose a certain attack or why she made a certain kind of evasion.

Once finished Ranma-chan interrogated Shampoo-kun and the fight against Mousse, at least the parts she had missed. With their roles reversed Ranma-chan was the one asking the questions about why Shampoo-kun did what he did during the fight. By the time the Amazon was finished with his description whatever tension existed between the two had disappeared, much to the mutual relief of the participants.

"You know something?" Ranma-chan laughed. "This is way more fun than talking about whatever it was we were supposed to be talking about."

"I agree." Shampoo-kun was more than happy with the way things were turning out. It was so much better then the start of the evening. If it ended now the two of them could probably regard it as a success. But it wasn't over. It felt like it was just beginning.

"Maybe that's the best way to have a date; doing whatever you feel like doing. Just so long as you have a good time."

"I think you're right," Shampoo-kun said.

The two moved the conversation to their mutual past and the event of the past few months. All of the good ones and some of the not so good. But talking about those did nothing to dampen their spirits. It was just talk between two people that had known each other for almost a year. Two people that had more things in common than a curse and the uncanny knack for angering friends as well as foes, even if neither one was sure of exactly what it was.

Ranma-chan finally found herself fully relaxed. "I feel so much better now."

Shampoo-kun agreed, then realized what song was playing. It would be the perfect thing, and Ranma-chan appeared at ease enough to accept. "Ranma, let's dance."

The redhead suddenly tensed up. "I'd rather not."

"It'll be fun. Come on." Shampoo-kun moved quickly from his chair and grabbed Ranma-chan before she could react. He practically had to drag her to the center of the dance floor where several other couples had already begun to move to the music.

Shampoo-kun was disappointed that Ranma-chan not only refused to relax on the dance floor, but started to make her way back to the table. He so wanted to dance with her that it actually hurt. Shampoo-kun held onto the girl. "What's wrong, Ranma?"

"I can't do this. Let me go!"

"Why?" Something was wrong and it went deeper than a simple desire to not dance.

"I don't know how to dance," she whispered.

So that was it. For a moment the Amazon had been worried it was him. "I show you how."

"I don't want to." Ranma-chan tried pulling out of the grip again.

Shampoo-kun held on. "Is it me?"

"No," her voice actually sounded pained. "I don't want to make a fool out of myself."

"Ranma," Shampoo-kun said as softly as he could to reassure the surprisingly scared girl. "You can follow me in katas, right."

"Of course." Some of the pride crept back into her voice.

"Think of it like learning a new technique, then follow my lead. I move slow until you learn it." Given Ranma-chan's ability to learn a kata after only one or two tries, he had little doubt she would be past the beginner level after only a few minutes. Shampoo-kun started off with only a basic dance and made certain that his own moves were obvious as he began to lead, whispering to Ranma-chan what was going to happen before he did the next step. As they danced Shampoo-kun made certain to hold onto his partner's hand, keeping it on his chest as the two moved together.

It was a very small surprise that once Saotome relaxed, her movements followed Shampoo-kun's in every way. Soon she needed no instruction as movements slowly flowed from one into another. Shampoo-kun marveled at Ranma-chan's natural grace as it was employed in the slow dance. Even the Amazon had to admit it took him a good bit longer to master even the basics that his partner was now using. The reminder of Ranma-chan's superiority did nothing to lessen Shampoo-kun's enjoyment. He was in heaven.

"Where'd you learn to dance so well?" Ranma-chan finally asked as she began to fully enjoy the flow of movement to the music. It was quite surprising to learn that dancing was fun. All that time she thought it was just something girls came up with to encourage romance and sappy stuff like that.

"In Amazon village, of course. We dance there too. I learn this Japanese dance at the wedding with Kasumi. Everyone dances everywhere."

"I meant who taught you," she clarified.

"Oh. My mother did. Usually it's the woman who leads in dance with a boy, but I not mind that it's backwards here. Besides, since I a boy now it's only fitting I lead."

"Don't get too cocky about that," Ranma-chan warned. "The next time it's me that leads." Saotome felt her partner go limp for a moment. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Shampoo-kun said as he regained his composure. Ranma-chan said the next time. She was having a good time and wanted to dance with him again. The overwhelming flood of emotions nearly brought a tear to his eye. "I would be very happy to teach you."

"Great." Without realizing it she rested her head against Shampoo-kun's chest and slowly relaxed, closing her eyes to allow the music to wash over her. She could hear her partner's heart beating almost in tune with the music.

Time lost all meaning in the dance as one soft tune flowed into the next. Another rare moment of peace, just like that crystalline night on the TWPOS. It was meant to be savored while it lasted, and both did exactly that. Enjoying one another's embrace.

Eventually Ranma-chan felt a hand rest under her chin and point her face upward. Shampoo-kun was his own bending face down, seeking to meet Ranma-chan's halfway. As she felt her eyes close she could not help but compare it to the night they practiced their lines on the roof of the dojo. Shampoo-kun's eyes still hadn't changed in all that time.

Their lips were about to meet when...

Earlier:

Tarou had done as Akane requested and flown to the top of the Tower's restaurant. The view from the inside that was provided was spectacular, adding to the atmosphere of the place. Tarou had slowly worked his way over to the windows, staying as low as possible so as not to be noticed while trying to allow Akane to see in.

She had watched the duo eat, talk, laugh, and much to her growing anger, dance. Ranma-chan was the worst, almost acting like she had undergone yet another personality conversation. If the general behavior wasn't bad enough, the two of them were leaning close almost as though they were going to kiss.

Tarou-bull grunted in a panic to catch her attention. She looked down at him, then followed the course his eyes traced. It led to the building itself, some twenty feet below the restaurant level.

*CLICK*

"Uh oh!"

Seconds before:

Matsui looked up from the book he was reading back at the aerial cameras that ran along the building. It wasn't like they had a lot of activity at the Kanemoto Towers, especially forty stories up in the air. The last time there was an intruder at that height was when that oni girl had flown too close and it was assumed she was an alien invader, (well she was, but she was not invading the building.) Fortunately she was fast enough to avoid injury. But the thing that was in front of his face now bore no resemblance to the cute alien girl.

Matsui went for the emergency line. Immediately he heard someone on the other end pick up. "SIR!" Matsui shouted. "We have a situation in the air!"

"It's not Lum again, is it?"

"No sir!" he said. "It's way too ugly for that! I think it's Rodan!"

"Oh my God!" the voice at the other end exclaimed. "Use the missiles and pray it's enough to take him out."

"Yes sir!" Matsui's hand went to the emergency air defense missiles.

Inside the restaurant:

...when a loud explosion went off outside. Both of them looked up, startled at the clamorous noise. Immediately their attention was riveted to the huge display of multi-colored lights ignited the night sky.

"Oh! That's pretty." Shampoo-kun said.

Ranma-chan agreed. It was a gorgeous display of fireworks, although they did seem a bit loud.

It was with a sigh she became aware of the time. "We'd better get going."

Shampoo-kun reluctantly agreed. It was pretty late, and as much as he wished it were otherwise, all good things did have to come to an end. At least it was a pleasant one. Too bad they had not kissed. It would have been the perfect ending to what was an almost perfect evening.

As the two exited the restaurant and went out into the night air, Ranma-chan sighed and looked towards the skies.

"You know something?" she asked.

Shampoo-kun shook his head. "What?"

"There was one thing I was afraid of all night long. And I thought when I saw all those Furinkan girls it was going to come true. I mean all night I just kept on getting these bad vibes."

"About what?"

"That we were going to get attacked. All night long I thought someone was going to jump us." She gave an easy laugh. "I guess when you get attacked as often as we do you tend to get paranoid."

Shampoo-kun had to agree with that. In truth he had had the same feelings most of the night, but his focus was on his date so much that he had ignored those feelings. Thank goodness it was just paranoia.

Two people walked past them at that moment. The first man spoke to the other.

"Did you hear the news?"

"No. What happened?"

"They shot down Rodan near Kanemoto Towers."

"About time the JSDF did something about those damned giant monsters!"

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun looked at each other and shrugged. It had to be a coincidence.

Nearby, at a small food stand, Shoki looked over the two other patrons that were seated next to him. It wasn't everyday you saw an attractive, singed looking girl and her equally singed pet flying minotaur eating sushi. They both looked really depressed too. For a moment he was tempted to give them his wish ring, but changed his mind and opted instead to simply buy them another round of sushi. What would a girl and her pet do with something like a wish anyway? A full stomach was better and there was less chance of causing an alternate timeline or some other mess that way. Besides, the blasted things always pissed the hell out of Pluto, and even he didn't want to be reprimanded by her yet again.

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun continued down the street when a familiar figure in a pretty dress skipped towards them.

"AKARI!" Both martial artists shouted simultaneously and prepared for her to grab some water and change.

Instead of going for any water she continued on her way, still happily skipping. "Crush you guys later. Bye" and with that she waved happily at them and continued to skip along without so much as a second glance at them, much to Ranma and Shampoo's confusion. The last thing they heard before she drifted out of sight was something about another date.

They both shrugged and continued on until they came upon a group of people gathered in front of an alleyway. They picked up on the words, 'panda,' 'strange laugh,' and 'immoral behavior between an animal and a girl' and ran off. Neither wanted to hear any more. They had already heard enough. Why spoil a perfect evening?

Ranma-chan was silently wondering what else had occurred while they were on their date when they passed an electronics store with one of the television's on in the front window. Saotome took little notice until her date paused in front to gaze at the picture.

"What's on?" Ranma-chan asked.

The volume on the set was just high enough to hear from outside. "They said Flex Lavender is in a special challenge match. I think he cute."

Ranma-chan started to bluster when she noticed Shampoo-kun turn from the set with a wide grin on his face.

"But you is much more handsome, Ranma," he added.

She relaxed at that. Of course she was better looking than some mass of muscle that participated in a fake sport. She was a real fighter. She returned her attention to the set just to see, and only out of curiosity since she wasn't jealous, what kind of guy could turn Shampoo-kun's eye.

"And here he is now," the announcer proclaimed. "Escorted to the ring by his tag team partner, Brute Forcz, FLEX LAVENDER!"

It was a hulking guy that was wearing hot pink tights of all things, accompanied to the ring by what appeared to be another hulk just slightly smaller than him. In all honesty Ranma-chan thought the guy was ugly as sin and could not understand why the fans were going wild.

"And the challenger, escorted to the ring by his valet, Kyoko Onamuri..."

At that point Kyoko shouted out, "Ryouga-kun doesn't own a car, so how can I be his valet?"

The announcer shook his head and continued. "...Ryouga Hibiki."

Sure enough, Ryouga came out, wearing a pair of yellow and black striped trunks and looking thoroughly embarrassed. The crowd's reaction was far less jubilant as he made his way into the ring, Kyoko taking a place outside the ring.

The announcer continued. "This is a special no disqualification, electrified steel cage, barbed wire baseball bat match, and if there is no winner by submission or pinfall in thirty minutes the ring will blow up."

The crowd went wild as the cage dropped down and the weapons were thrown in. Ryouga panicked. "WHAT KIND OF A MATCH IS THAT?!"

"Changing face of the sport, punk! People want blood and they're going to have it! PREPARE TO DIE, RYOUGA!"

"Quit stealing my line! PREPARE TO DIE, FLEX!"

On the outside Kyoko suddenly found herself confronted by Flex's tag team partner.

"How dare you try to steal my Flex?"

Kyoko gave a disgusted look. "He's dating guys now?"

"I'm no man! I'm a woman!"

Kyoko looked at her more closely. "But you have a mustache."

"It's not my fault electrolysis doesn't work. NOW DIE!"

Kyoko suddenly found herself using all of her martial arts abilities trying to stay alive.

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun looked at each other, sadly shook their heads, said "baka's" simultaneously, and walked off.

It had been one interesting date.

Much later, Ai and Ukyou arrived at the restaurant and prepared to say good night. The two had walked around most of the night, either talking with one another or trying to make sense of all that had happened. Ai was about to leave when she came close to Ukyou.

"You've kissed girls before, haven't you?"

Ukyou knew where this was leading to. Despite that she didn't have the heart to lie. "As part of my disguise at the guy's school, yes. I did. But I didn't enjoy it!"

"Methinks thou doth protest too much," Ai snickered. "Don't worry, if you're that uneasy about it, I'm not going to force myself on you. But give me a chance and you'll see it's not all that bad. I'll pick you up before school tomorrow?"

If Ukyou was going to try to get Ai out of her life, now was the time. Before tonight she would have taken any opportunity to get rid of her. Now she wasn't so sure. There wasn't any risk in keeping Ai around, so there wasn't any need to be afraid.

"Sure. Tomorrow then."

For the first time Ukyou could remember, Ai gave her a genuine smile, not one forced by the pill, and the truth be known, it did look good. Ukyou found herself smiling in return as Ai left and she entered her restaurant. It was already occupied as she found a banged up Ryouga and Kyoko inside, each with a glazed expression.

"What happened to you guys?" Ukyou asked.

"Got into a special challenge match with Flex," Ryouga mumbled. "I won."

"His girlfriend's a real brute. Managed to beat her though," Kyoko said.

Ukyou made her way to the grill to make a late night snack. "At least that's over with."

"Not exactly," Kyoko corrected.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," Ryouga began. "I sort of accepted a return match next week."

"It's going to be a mixed tag match. I'm going to help Ryouga." Somehow, Kyoko did not sound thrilled about that, not even bothering to use the 'kun' for Ryouga.

"Ryouga no baka," Ukyou said under her breath, but without the resentment it usually had.

Epilogue

China

The Shogun looked over the now completely enhanced Eight Devils of Kimone. The changes were unobservable to the naked eye save a few notable exceptions, such as the compound eyes the hunchbacked Mushizo possessed, or the fangs Benisato gained along with her other newfound abilities.

"I can control more wasps than ever. And I can see through my children's eyes." Mushizo's joy could barely be contained.

"Strength flows through my arms like never before." That was from Benisato, whose arms actually elongated like a snake's as though to prove the point.

Zakuro began tossing various forms of explosive in the air, juggling them. "Unbelievable,  
I don't need to make or steal these things. They just appear and only I can make them detonate." She turned to the Shogun. "Where do they come from?"

"Your heart," he replied.

"I don't have one of those anymore." Zakuro laughed deeply. "I feel more alive than ever."

What a poor choice of words, the Shogun thought. They were not alive so much as corpses bound to his own life force. True, he had resurrected them, but that existence hinged solely upon his own continued survival; an anchor for them to remain in the realm of the living. The ultimate form of control.

"It would be safe to assume that you have enhanced our abilities for a reason?" Gemma said, capturing the attention of the rest of the Devils.

"Yes. It is. I need you to do a task for me," the Shogun informed the group.

"We get to kill, right?" Tessai was anxious to see what kind of destruction he could cause with his increased strength and speed. There was no telling what kind of a body count he could accumulate now.

"Yes, you do." With a wave of his hand a nearby table suddenly exploded into an image of light. The light took the shape of a three dimensional object which slowly rotated in a circle at a single point above the table.

"What is that?" Amazingly, even the blind Mujuru could sense the image in detail, and sight was not one of his newfound abilities.

"That," the Shogun began. "is your target. It's called Mt. Phoenix. I need that location for the final phase of the plan. Nowhere else will do."

Gemma examined the three dimensional image of the mountain. It was a precisely detailed cut away to the inside of the mountain. There appeared to be man-made structures within the many caverns of the mountain itself. For some reason he had an impression it represented the way it was in the present, not what the Shogun planned to do with it.

"There are already people there?" Gemma asked.

"Yes. An entire race of humanoid avians affectionately called the 'Bird People'. I want you to kill them."

"How many?" Shujima rasped from the within shadows.

The Shogun did not bother looking in the direction the question had come from. "I said I want you to kill them. All of them."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks to Krista Perry for allowing me to use the Shadowcat reference and Jason Liao for coming up with the Usagi-kyaku.

The ED meets dog scene was actually done by Frank Miller and Walt Simonson. ED-209 belongs to the creators of Robocop.

And of course a special thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
James Robert Bader  
Bloodblade  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	30. Death on the Mountain

[WARNING: THE SECOND HALF OF THE CHAPTER THAT DEALS WITH THE EIGHT DEVILS OF KIMONE IS DARK. THIS SHOULD BE THE ONLY CHAPTER LIKE THAT.]

[Second warning: This chapter deals exclusively with Perfume, her hunt pack, and the aforementioned Eight Devils of Kimone. The Nerima regulars return next chapter, so don't become concerned with that.]

Prologue

The Jusenkyou Guide had seen many strange things in his lifetime. Living near Jusenkyou did that to a person. So when the red spaceship approached the land of a thousand springs he watched it descend with typical calm, waiting for someone to make the inevitable appearance from the red craft. His wait was brief as a blond girl appeared from out of thin air and landed with a dull thud next to him.

"OWW! That hurt!" She exclaimed as she got off her rear end and massaged it. Once she realized she was doing all of this under the guide's watchful eye she gave a yelp and bowed.

"Sorry about that. Sometimes my cube gives me trouble."

"Don't worry about it," the guide responded.

"Do you remember me?"

The guide nodded. "You're the girl that pushed her partner into the Spring of Drowned Gorilla and startled that little girl you were with into the Spring of Drowned Goldfish."

"That's me. Galaxy Police Detective First Class Mihoshi." She smiled embarrassedly. "There's a little problem with what happened the last time we were here."

No kidding. The guide indicated she should continue.

"Well. It turns out Tsunami can't give Sasami a new body because the one she has now is unstable because of the curse. And Washu can't cure either one of them for a real long time. She says it has something to do with the magic that's involved in the transformations and that it would take her at least three months to figure out how to do it."

"That's not a long wait," the guide said. They figured out a cure not involving the Springs? There would be a lot of happy people in the world if they could market the cure. "Most people have them for life."

"Well y'see, it wouldn't be so bad except Sasami's parents are coming in three days and they may not be too happy about her getting cursed, and since they are the leaders of the Jurai empire I don't want to be given a public execution. They haven't had one for centuries, but Ayeka said she was going to strongly recommend it and Kiyone volunteered to help. I don't know why since I think Sasami looks cute as a goldfish. So anyway I want to cure Sasami before they get here. Could you direct me to the magical girl water?"

The guide comprehended little of the rant. His response was simply to shrug and point out the appropriate pool to her. Mihoshi got the water, didn't fall in or splash herself, then used her cube to get back to the ship. Within minutes the ship took off and was quickly out of sight.

The guide scratched his head. "How strange. Most people wouldn't want their daughter splashed with water from the Spring of Drowned Magical Girl. I wonder if she meant she wanted water from the Spring of Drowned Young Girl?" He supposed it didn't matter. Just so long as she didn't bring Sasami back. Those annoying magical girls really caused problems. It only took one meeting with such a curse victim to make him seriously consider destroying the pool himself. Such a thing was too annoying to allow it to exist.

His reverie was interrupted as Plum ran out of their hut, bawling her eyes out. Quickly he picked his daughter up and cradled her in his arms. "What's wrong?"

"I had another bad dream, Daddy," Plum managed to get out. "I dreamt something black with red eyes was trying to get me. He doesn't like me and he says he's going to kill me."

The guide gazed sympathetically at his daughter. The dreams were now almost an every other day occurrence, and it all started shortly after the bizarre death of that man several months ago. "How about you go to your aunt's for a while? Maybe you'll feel better if you get away from here."

To his surprise Plum quickly agreed. His daughter always seemed anxious whenever they visited her aunt. The woman was unmarried, and though she unquestionably loved her niece, she had a tendency dress the young girl like a doll whenever she got the chance, much to Plum's chagrin. The nightmares must have been really bothering her if she gave in so quickly.

There was something different in the air around Jusenkyou, and it felt ominous. The guide feared that if this was the calm, he didn't want to be around for the storm that followed.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 30

Death on The Mountain

C+C is greatly appreciated. You can email me at sommer

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at

Bloodblade has also given it a home at  
tokyo/towers/5920

Standard disclaimer:  
I disclaim I own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

An alternate universe:

What's gone on before (the VERY condensed version. For the full story check out the previous chapters) In the beginning Shampoo fell in The Spring of Drowned Young Boy at the same time that Ranma fell in the Spring of Drowned Young Girl. The two have traveled together since and had many adventures. Last chapter almost everyone went on a dates and had varying degrees of a good time, save Tarou and Akane, and that was mainly because Tarou was mistaken for Rodan and fired upon. Now The Shogun of the Dark is ready to move and he has ordered the Eight Devils of Kimone to raze Mount Phoenix. Also Perfume has been given command of a hunt pack to return Shampoo to China, forcibly if necessary. Of course Perfume doesn't realize the true depths of exactly what she has been given command of...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was a trap.

Be Dea had lied to Perfume. She claimed she admired Perfume. She claimed the hunt team had been assembled to assist Perfume in bringing back Shampoo. She claimed the other girls would help make her job easier.

"You can't cook worth a shit!"

"Your sleeping bag is too close to mine!"

"Watch it! You nearly stepped on me!"

She lied through her ancient teeth.

"You smell terrible! Would you please use soap when you bathe!"

Be Dea despised Perfume. She must have hated every molecule in Perfume's body to have done this terrible thing to her. Ripping out her lungs would have been preferable to suffering through this pain. She could not imagine how any torture could compare to the hell she was already in.

"That's my knife! Give it back!"

On a deeper level, Perfume understood why Be Dea had done what she did. Traveling with this lot was going to be the truest measure of Perfume's leadership abilities.

"OWW! My foot!"

Perfume should have broken her own leg and saved herself from all of the grief.

The group had to be the worst combination of the young warriors possible. There was no way it was a coincidence that this eclectic group had been chosen. On the surface it appeared that it was a random assemblage of some of the brightest and best of the young up and comers. It was not all of the finest, but they were all very good. There was only one problem. Everyone of them had some kind of personality flaw.

Perfume took Rei Za and Shi Fan as an example. Individually they were excellent fighters, easily in the top twenty for their age group. But their real strength was in their paired combat abilities. They were currently ranked number three and desperately wanted to beat out RanRan and LinLin as the best paired fighters. There was only one problem with that.

"CHINESE DANCE OF THE FIRE DRAGON!"

Perfume watched the scene unfold before her. The duo were trying to employ a special paired attack that was one of the most dangerous ever created in the Amazon's history. There was one problem, however.

"Hey! Why aren't all of you dancing?"

"Because our ears are too busy bleeding!"

"Turn that wretched music off!"

"Never mind! We'll take care of it for you!"

*SMASH*

*BAM*

*CRUNCH*

Perfume observed the ruins of the paper dragon and boom box the group had left discarded on the ground. Everyone had been overly zealous in the destruction of the miserably failed attack. In truth that was fortunate; it saved Perfume the hassle of doing it herself. She reevaluated the fighting combo in her mind. Make them attack someone using their individual skills as a two woman team and they worked perfectly, effectively two-on-oneing someone. It was when they attempted to blend those skills as a special two woman attack that things went awry. None of their combined attacks worked. No matter how hard they tried it would always backfire.

"Why didn't you do something to make them stop? That racket was earshattering!"

Wonderful. That one would be coming over to her. Perfume looked away from the approaching girl and over to Julep, who was leaning against a tree away from the other girls as she was inclined to do. Times like now Perfume wished she could do the same, but as leader she had to make herself available to everyone. An unspoken communication passed between them as their eyes met. Julep rolled hers in anguish over the girl that had approached spoke to Perfume.

"You have to do something!" Tablet complained in the high pitched, nasally, whiny voice that everyone universally despised. She was the official village whiner, capable of driving even an elder crazy in under an hour. It was a miracle her parents didn't cut out her tongue for the peace and quiet it would bring. True, she was an impressive warrior, but the whining was enough to make anyone desire to strangle Tablet to death. Once she started griping she just wouldn't shut up, save for one tactic, which was Tablet's other weakness.

"I will do as you suggest," Perfume began. "First I will..." She trailed off as she suddenly gave a confused look towards Tablet.

"What is it?" Tablet asked.

"You look a little pale. I bet it's nothing though. Forget I mentioned it."

Tablet began to shudder. "I'm sick! Oh no! I knew traveling in the wilderness like this was just an invitation for every virus and germ that lived to make a beeline for me. I have to get my medication..." The rest trailed off as Tablet went back to her knapsack and began sorting through the one hundred pounds of medication in it.

Perfume rolled her eyes. Tablet was a hypochondriac of the highest degree. Rumor had it she once lost a tournament when her opponent claimed Tablet had red blotches that were almost certainly poison ivy. She had been distracted enough to lose in quick order that day, and though she had improved her concentration since that time and wouldn't be fooled by that trick in a fight, she would still panic at the drop of a hat if it wasn't a life and death situation.

She was far from the last warrior that represented a problem. There were also Foam and Soap to consider. Cousins that had grown up together as all but sisters and had, at the ripe old age of sixteen, been considered the best paired fighters that anyone, including the elders, had seen. They had been so magnificent that when Cologne had offered to spar with them, they actually managed to put the matriarch on the defensive for a little over a full minute before the two fell in defeat. The duo were well on their way to becoming a force to be reckoned with. They were powerful. They were mighty. They were incredible.

"Bitch!"

"Slut!"

"Cow!"

"Pig!"

"Weakling!"

"I am not a weakling! Take that back, klutz!"

"I am not a klutz!"

*BAM*

*CRACK*

Too bad they hated each other's guts. It all started four years ago over the most pointless thing in the world. A man. Soap liked him first and told Foam. Foam asked him out first. Soap did not like that. The two of them fought over the man for weeks, each forcing him to go out with the other numerous times. Each time a couple went out the girl that was not on the date would attack the other. The young man received enough injuries in the resulting crossfires that it brought the attention of the Elder council upon them. The council mandated that neither one could go out with him due to safety concerns. All that did was transfer the fight to another man and a repeat of the exact same thing occurred. Then it happened again. By that time no male was willing to go out with either one of them. So every time one of the girls wanted to go out with a man not only did they challenge each other for the target's attention, but they had to challenge him to a fight just to go out with him.

It really was sad.

"Stop fighting, you two!"

Perfume caught sight of the blond haired girl rushing towards the duo, red sashes trailing behind her yellow and red Chinese style clothing. Sash was aptly named. The sashes she wore were weighted with metal, and she had learned how to wield her chi effectively, traveling it down the material when needed. Sash was a force to watch out for. Especially when she ran around...

*TRIP*

"AAAAHHHHH- "

*THUD*

...because she was as clumsy as a pregenant water buffalo. In a fight, when she was concentrating, she was fine. It was in everyday normal activities, like walking, that she was a menace to herself and others around her.

"OOOOWWWW! That's not funny! I fell in that fire! Thank goodness I wasn't burned. Who tripped me?!"

"The blond with the sashes."

"What?"

"You tripped over your own feet, Sash."

"That's just plain silly. I'm much too cooridinanted for that. What's that smell?"

"You're smoking."

"Don't be stupid! I don't smoke."

"I don't mean you smoke. I'm telling you you're smoking!"

"And I'm telling you I don't smoke. Now what is that smell?"

"Amazon flambe."

"What?"

"She's trying to tell you that, when you fell down part of your outfit caught on fire. Or in other words; look at your behind."

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Perfume sighed. Enough was enough. She gave a nod of her head to Cabinet, who picked up Sash and threw her into a nearby stream, putting her out. As Sash sniffled in the stream Perfume felt a pang of sorrow. Sash was one of the few people that got along with just about everyone, unlike just about every other person in the unit. Most of the girls were normal to semi-normal, but the one common theme among almost all of them was a dislike of Shampoo. It went from a general antipathy because they were never able to defeat the number one fighter of the young warriors, to outright hatred that almost guaranteed, under these circumstances, an attempt to kill Shampoo if she resisted or even looked cross-eyed at them.

Not that Shampoo was the only one that was disliked. Over half of the girls also cared little for the return of a new and improved Perfume that managed to defeat many of them within the first month of her homecoming. That made giving the orders easy and having them obeyed difficult.

And then there was the resentment towards her second-in-command. Cabinet had been sincere in her commitment to turn over a new leaf, and some of the girls accepted the apologies the one time thug had given them. Others were not so willing to turn the other cheek. By Cabinet's own admission she had done some pretty harsh things to many of the girls when she was younger, so she understood the continuing bitterness and accepted it. Such mettle was rare to come by. Perfume had chosen well, regardless of what additional anger was directed towards her in her choice of her number one.

Surprisingly the only other girl that had proven a stalwart comrade was the normally aloof Julep. None of the others cared much for the wolf girl, and that sentiment was returned with indifference from Julep, but Perfume felt different. Though they were beyond extraordinary, it wasn't her abilities that caused the partly feral girl to stand out in Perfume's mind. It was something about Julep herself that went much deeper. Something called out to Perfume, and she responded to it. The two had bonded with a speed that was only surpassed by Perfume's near instant connection with Shampoo. Julep rarely showed it on the outside - the girl had a face made of stone - but Perfume could read even Julep's body language, and the story it told was one of trust. That trust was shared by Perfume, and she had a feeling that when the chips were down Julep would be the one she could turn to.

There was also the animosity many of the girls felt towards one another. Longtime clan feuds were evidenced in the group. Personal vendettas even moreso. Shouting and shoving matched were almost constant. There was only one real benefit from the bile that was spewed amongst the hunt pack and that was the fact it was going to take them forever to get anywhere.

"Draw your sword and prepare to be impaled!"

"I'll make you eat spear to still that wagging tongue of yours!"

It was also going to take a miracle to get the group to Japan alive.

Perfume gave a hand signal to Cabinet. Her second-in-command moved to the arguing duo, picked up both by the scruffs of their necks with the awesome strength at her disposal, and thumped their heads together. Angry people raised a lot less fuss when they were unconscious.

Orders were given to pack up the camp and head out. The longer they remained in one place the more likely it was that blood was going to be spilled. Grumbling was heard as the girls loudly packed up their belongings and there was a commotion over what belonged to whom. They took so long that Perfume was about ready to skewer a couple of them just to prod the rest of the group onward, not that she was certain that all it might do was serve to make them move slower as an act of defiance.

Julep raced on ahead and scouted the trail for ambushes. If the hunt pack's personality wasn't bad enough on its own, the whole trip was turning into a voyage to hell. Already they had been jumped by three different groups of bandits. They took some alive and the bandits revealed to Perfume that the groups believed they were transporting some kind of treasure, making them a target with a huge painted bull's-eye on its back. Two bridges along their route were out, one appearing as though it had been blown up, and the Chinese authorities detained them for the better part of a day as they searched for drugs. Perfume managed to get the captain to admit they had received an anonymous tip that their group was transporting some kind of illegal contraband. The fact Tablet had close to a hundred pounds of legal drugs did not help things along since it took the officers over three hours to identify some of the more exotic medications she had.

There was no such thing as coincidence. It was God screwing her over as she made Perfume a punchline in a joke only she understood. Or at least that was what the pink-haired Amazon had thought up until the point she had heard about the tip. Now she was beginning to believe it was some other force at work here. All it would take was one more piece of evidence to confirm her suspicions.

As Perfume turned a bend in the road she spotted the confirmation. Julep was crouched next to the ruins of yet another bridge, one that went over a river too large to cross by swimming. Not with the supplies they carried. It was easily going to take over half a day to find another bridge to cross. Perfume signaled the others to wait while she went on ahead to talk with Julep in private. The wolf girl straightened up as Perfume approached. The look Julep possessed said something was up.

"What have you found out?" Perfume asked.

By way of explanation Julep bent down once again. Perfume needed no urging as she followed the tracker down. Julep fingered some of the debris where the bridge had at one point extended to this side of the river.

"This didn't happen by itself. Someone intentionally blew up the supports on this side of the bridge. Explosives weren't used. My nose would detect the lingering scent of them."

Perfume looked quizzically at her. "The Bakusai Tenketsu?"

Julep nodded in confirmation. "They tried covering it up, but you can tell from the way the wood is torn up at this end. We're dealing with an Amazon."

Perfume shook her head, her mind already racing with possibilities. "Don't jump to conclusions. That could be bait to make us think that way."

"Who else knows the Bakusai Tenketsu?" Julep asked, somewhat perturbed at having her statement questioned.

Perfume gave a smile, not to smirk at the girl, but to put her at ease. "You'd be surprised at how many Amazon 'secrets' are known outside our village. It's not widespread, but there are outsiders that know some of our techniques, including the breaking point. This is what I would do if I desired to mislead us."

"So it isn't an Amazon?"

Perfume shook her head again. "I didn't say that. The odds are good that it is. What I'm trying to do is tell you not to put too much faith based on an assumption that is based on little evidence."

Julep face twisted as she considered that. If Perfume was guessing correctly, the wolf girl was trying to decided if she liked the idea of being questioned and proven wrong. It was a situation Julep was not used to. Living alone meant all of one's choices never questioned, even if they were horribly wrong.

Julep's body relaxed. "You're right. I shouldn't have been so confident in that discovery."

Perfume shrugged nonchalantly to put the girl at ease. "I've made the same mistake before, so don't let it get you down. Besides, my first impulse it to agree with you. It probably is an Amazon."

Julep smiled in response. "You're good. I like sincere people. I'll look around and see if I can catch her scent."

As she finished her statement Julep took off, her brown and green outfit blending in the foliage so perfectly that the girl seemed to vanish after only a few seconds. Perfume admitted Julep was one for few words, but as long as they came out like that it mattered little. She returned to the group and grabbed several maps to locate the shortest route to the next crossing before giving the order to move out, much to the grumbling of the majority of the group.

The next couple of days passed without incident. Without any direct incidents anyway. There was the continual erosion of unity as sides began to be divided among the members of the pack. Perfume had to break up two more fights between the girls just to keep them all alive. Tempers were raw and starting to flare.

Perfume's surface thoughts believed this was good. The less they got along with one another the more unlikely it was they would be successful in locating Shampoo. But as this behavior continued, doubts began to creep in, and Perfume could tell precisely where they began. One of the girls made a comment that Perfume's leadership stunk. More comments were made about Be Dea being crazy leaving someone like Perfume in charge, that Perfume was incompetent, and other far worse things. Each insult was like a stab to her heart. She wasn't a poor leader, she simply was not trying.

By the third day everyone was making derogatory comments about Perfume, Hairbrush even saying that she would make a much better leader then the 'wandering bitch'. Perfume bore the insults with all of the resolve she could muster, but it got worse by the hour. It was her belief she could have taken the criticisms had it not been for a passing glance at Cabinet. Where confidence, and even admiration, had been before was now being replaced with doubt. Not having the trust of the others was one thing; losing the faith of one who already possessed it was something else.

The words hurt. All her life Perfume wanted respect. She wanted to prove all of those fools that treated her like dirt when she was growing up wrong. The woman that stood before them now bore little resemblance to small, uncoordinated girl that had grown up a virtual outcast within the village. She was now worthy of respect, but the words the girls spoke were laced with the same contemptuous tone she had heard for so many years. Her blood boiled in rage at that. These were the voices she wanted to leave behind. The ones she HAD left behind. But like some villainous monster from a horror movie, they had been resurrected and were letting their presence be known full force. It was all such nonsense. She could break the lot of them. Her mind had already figured out what actions to take to bind them into an effective fighting unit that would obey her commands without question. Many of them might end up not liking her, but they would calm down enough to behave.

Now that she was on the verge of achieving the most respected rank in the village, she was throwing it all away. And for what? Some misguided notion that she was protecting someone that she owed nothing to. Shampoo was a lawbreaker. She got the curse and ran. The coward was hiding, afraid to face the consequences of her actions. True, Perfume thought the law was extraordinarily stupid, but the stigma attached to the circumstances following that incident over a millennium ago still remained to this day.

Oh yes. Shampoo was a coward. A coward who had the courage of a lion. Someone that was willing to possibly sacrifice her life for one who wanted to kill her, and all because of an incident in which Perfume was to blame for as much as Shampoo. Some coward. And some would be leader Perfume would turn out to be to drag the other girl back for the inevitable execution.

Perfume had given her word to lead the mission and bring Shampoo back. The others, for all their animosity, were relying on her, and it would look very bad if they failed. Could Perfume bring herself to obey the orders, and to do what was right for the others, or would she throw it all away for one person she had seen three times in the last three years? A person she possessed nothing but all consuming hatred for three years on end.

If she did capture Shampoo, would she be able to live with herself afterwards? And if she threw the mission and failed, would she be able to hold her head up with dignity again, knowing she had willingly discarded all she had trained for? Would she be able to live with the humiliation of her failure?

Perfume was trying to quell the war within her when another Amazon, Boudoir, settled it.

"Scarface is clueless."

Whether or not it was intended to be overheard meant nothing. Perfume rushed forward and grabbed Boudoir by the shoulder and spun her around. The loudmouth did nothing other than gaze contemptuously at her leader. Perfume would see to it that did not last.

"Ring us around in a circle of steel!" Perfume commanded.

The Amazons stared at one another for a few moments until Perfume barked her command again, leaving no doubt in their minds that the order was meant to be obeyed. The Amazons backed a good distance away and drew their weapons, creating the ring of steel Perfume desired. Julep was the one exception as she jumped up into a tree so that she could look down and get a clear unrestricted view of what was to come.

Boudoir looked around in surprise. She had not expected a response from Perfume. Everyone had been insulting her for the last three days, and justifiably so. The pink-haired girl was a terrible leader and an all around failure as far as she was concerned. From the look that Boudoir was being given left little doubt that Perfume was quite serious about what she was doing now.

"I can't fight you," Boudoir said confidently. "Be Dea said we were to follow you no matter what."

In answer Perfume spit in Boudoir's face and slapped both cheeks before her opponent could react. Her hand slowly rose to her face, wiping away the spittle as Perfume spoke.

"Your honor has been insulted in one of the worst ways imaginable. No matter what the elder said you would be remiss in not defending your honor and would be regarded as a coward for not answering this challenge. Even if she were to press the issue the rest of the council would overrule her. Now draw your weapon!"

Boudoir did as she was ordered. No living being could do what Perfume dared do to her and survive. Her battle ax was drawn as she brought it into an attack position in answer to Perfume's own naginta.

With a cry of rage Boudoir swung her ax. Perfume stopped it in an effortless shift in which she seemed to dance away from her opponent. A second, third, and fourth swing brought nothing but effortless evasions as well. Seeing no counter attacks were imminent Boudoir attempted to drive Perfume into the walls of the ring of steel. Just when she thought she saw an opening in the pink-haired Amazon's defense large enough to allow the move, it closed up and was revealed to be a set up. Boudoir was struck in the knee, stomach, and three times in the face. She lost her footing and fell backwards onto the ground. Shakily she regained her vertical base.

"A lucky move, Scarface. Let's see how you do now."

Perfume allowed Boudoir to reacquire her footing and watched as the bigger girl charged once again, only to suffer another strike from the blunt end of Perfume's weapon. A kick followed that up, hopelessly disorienting Perfume's opponent. Rather than finishing her off with a simple attack, Perfume instead focused on her fist. It had been an attack she had been taught but failed to master, at least until recently. Now she focused her concentration. She needed this to work, or else she would never have a wide enough array of attacks to win the leadership of the Joketsuzoku. All of her fears were for naught as she felt the glow come to the point of her hand.

"FIST OF THE THUNDERSTRIKE!" she yelled as her blue ensconced fist connected with Boudoir's unprotected jaw and sent her flying into Foam, the impact collapsing the unexpected backstop as well. As the blow struck a small object flew up to the air, sailing high enough to allow Julep to snag it before it began its downward descent. As Boudoir's unconscious form hit the ground Julep watched it thud with an approving, wry grin. Casually she tossed the tooth that had been knocked out of Boudoir's head back onto the girl's faintly heaving chest. She didn't want it anyway.

"Pick her up!" Perfume commanded two of the warriors. "You'll make a travois and drag her and her equipment along until she recovers."

She paused at this point to walk around the still circled girls and afford each a contemptuous stare. "I've given you several days of freedom to see what you would do with it. It is now official: I am sick and tired of hearing you whine and complain every five seconds about this and that. You sound like a bunch of five year old males. This will change. From this point onward I will be giving the orders and you will obey without complaint or question. If you do not you will not have to worry about any of the elders. I will make your life with me such a hell there won't be anything left for you to fear once you return. I'll have already done it to you. Since I have every bit of faith in you and that you understand what I just said, I will waste neither my breath nor yours any longer. That is unless someone disagrees with what I just said and wishes to argue the point with me. If that is the case I will be more than happy to insult your honor and make an example out of you as well. Any volunteers? Now is the time to speak up."

There were no takers.

"Good!" Perfume allowed a smile this time to reassure the girls that they had done well. "We set off now. We have a lot of time to make up and we start recovering it. NOW!"

The rest of the day proved to be an endurance test for some. The group was forced to run almost the entire day, only taking breaks long enough to recover their energy and run some more. They made up some of that precious lost time Perfume wanted to gain back, although that was not the real reason Perfume drove them so hard. She wanted them air sucking, chest heaving, exhausted. Perfume herself had long ago learned to increase her endurance - some fights had to be won by simply outlasting an opponent - so she was barely tired when the group was at last allowed to rest for the evening. As she hoped, the pack of girls went immediately to preparing food and beds. For the first time since the journey began not a single argument broke out from the lot.

After dinner, and when most of the girls had passed out or gone to sleep, Perfume made herself comfortable and began working on her side project. She removed the tools and parts from her own backpack and began working on the item once again. It was fortunate the Chinese authorities had not recognized the parts for what they were when the men had searched her things. There might have been trouble over that.

Perfume was no engineer, but she was good enough to prepare a new ace in the hole for those unexpected times when her or another's life might be on the line. There were those that would consider such a weapon dishonorable, but one frequently fought those without honor, and such an edge just might be needed. Aside from that Perfume began to have doubts about if it was honorless or not. A weapon was a weapon, whether it be chi, sword, or hand, and the mind was the greatest weapon of all. It was long past time for the Joketsuzoku to acknowledge that their ways needed modifications. To stay mired in the past meant being buried in the sands of time, just as all the other cultures throughout time. That was one of Perfume's greatest fears, that she would lead the Amazons just in time to witness their erasure as a culture from the face of the earth. Steps needed to be taken, and soon. Perhaps those first steps could begin with this journey.

Perfume was so lost in thought that she failed to hear Cabinet approach. As fast as she moved to cover the materials with a nearby sheet Perfume was certain Cabinet saw more than she wanted.

"What was that you were working on?"

She had seen too much. "Nothing."

"It looked like a large bracer."

Far too much. "A private matter." The tone left no doubt that the subject should be dropped. Fortunately Cabinet picked up on it. "You have something to ask me?"

Cabinet forgot all about the bracer as she returned to the reason of why she had come to her leader. "I was going to ask you how we are going about in bringing in Shampoo should she resist. After all, I remember what she did to you and this would be an ideal time to get a measure of revenge. The Elder did say by whatever means necessary."

Perfume gave her a cold stare. "I've learned to bury my past. We take her alive, no matter what."

"That's going to make things difficult."

"No," Perfume said in a tone that brooked no tolerance for argument. "I'll make things difficult if my orders aren't obeyed."

Cabinet took a step back when she saw the look in her comrade's eyes. Shampoo was going to be taken alive.

Perfume moved on to other matters that concerned her. "I'll need your help in doing something tomorrow."

Cabinet felt relieved. Perfume was back to normal. "All you need do is ask."

"I'm asking. Allow me to explain what we are going to do and why..."

After Perfume was finished explaining Cabinet did not know whether to laugh or look horrified, but it sounded like the plan just might work. If Perfume managed to pull it off the hunt pack's chance at recovering Shampoo, should she prove intractable, would be tremendous. It would also serve to secure Perfume's position as an effective leader in the eyes of the others. Such would suit Cabinet well. Perfume seemed to have a charisma that drew the large girl like a moth to the flame. Julep seemed almost as fascinated as well, as difficult as that was to be believed. The pink-haired girl had undergone a dramatic change since the days when she teamed up with Shampoo and beat the crud out of herself and her other strong-arm friends. Who knew? Maybe someday Perfume would be matriarch, and perhaps she would remember those that helped her on the way.

Soap awakened with a yawn. She had a dream about being picked up by that oh so cute guy she had set her eyes on just last week. She was going to force him into a date challenge before her slut cousin beat her to it. That would show her.

Soap brought her right arm up and tried to remove the nighttime sand that had formed in her eye when she felt some great weight on the arm, preventing her from moving it. What was almost as surprising as the restraint was the ouch that followed and a tug that threatened to pull Soap's arm out of the socket. She stared over to see what the restraint was and who yelped. It was much to her disgust that she saw that it was a pair of arm shackles that connected her left arm to the right arm of the person laying right next to her: Foam.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Soap would have struck her fellow Amazon had the shackles and Foam not thrown her off balance.

Foam was just as angry at her companion. "Don't try to blame me, tramp, you're the one that did this."

The struggles between the two continued until a voice shouted through their argument.

"I did it!"

Both girls turned to see half of the Amazons gathered around the shackled duo. Perfume was the one that had spoken up.

"Why the hell am I locked up with HER?! I didn't do anything wrong!" Foam protested while Soap remained silent, trying to come to grips with what was going on.

"You two are going to have to start acting as a team," Perfume explained. "To that end you will be bound together hand and foot and learn to do everything as one. You will walk together, eat together, relieve yourselves together. Everything! I'm tired of hearing you bawl at one another and I might have need of your skills as paired fighters. So you will start functioning together once again."

Both girls protested, as Perfume expected. If they had not she would have suspected a trap. There was a speech she had planned out for the occasion.

"You will be expected to keep up with the rest of the pack. Failure will not be tolerated so I have provided you with encouragement." She pointed to Cabinet. "She will be trailing the party to make certain you keep up. She is going to hit you if you lag behind, and if you fall too far behind you will discover that I am a far worse person the either of you two could ever hope to be."

Cabinet cradled her very large two-handed warhammer fondly.

"ARE YOU CRAZY!" Soap erupted.

"No. As much as you two hate each other I believe this is the only thing that will get you to coexist. I won't set an unrealistic pace, but if you fail to work together you will soon be very unhappy people. You have one hour to practice. I would suggest you start with walking. That will be the most important skill you're going to have to master in the immediate future. Once you have that down you can move onto other things."

Foam and Soap stared at Perfume then looked at one another. Both realized she was dead serious. Biting their tongues the two spoke as civilly as they could and agreed to try to practice. As they left to start walking, inside each of their minds they knew that the other one would fail and both would be hurt severely.

"That seemed a little harsh," Tablet commented once the duo were out of sight.

Perfume shrugged. "They're of only minimal use as they were and too much of a hindrance. Once they relearn they can rely on one another we will be able to rely on them."

Perfume left the others to absorb what was said. Hopefully most would believe in the explanation. Now if only Soap and Foam went along with it as well.

Perfume deliberately allowed the pace to be almost painfully slow. It would give those whose endurance was down a chance to catch their wind. The chained duo only needed to be struck four times by Cabinet before they learned to move together as one, and by the end of the day they were amazingly moving as fast as the pack. Perfume's plan was working in that the two of them were starting to function as a team once more.

Since everyone had a chance to regain their strength Perfume felt there would be time to talk to the lot of them and learn a few facts. She ordered the group to gather around in a circle as they sat by the campfire to listen to what she had to say.

"How many of you have been to a big city?"

A little over half of the girls raised their hands. Perfume was surprised, to say the least. She had been confident no more than a quarter had been that far from home. As she thought about how lucky she had been in getting so many experienced warriors another thought occurred to her.

"How many of you have been to someplace besides Machu'Tang?"

All but six of the hands dropped. It was as she suspected. To villagers who lived in a village of under a thousand people, a town like Machu'Tang, that had a population of fifteen thousand, seemed incredibly large.

"There's a tremendous difference between that town and the cities we'll be going to. Pictures cannot do the cities of Japan justice. They are huge and vast places where it will be easy to become awestruck and perhaps a little intimidated." She cut off the expected protest over the term 'intimidated'. "There is no harm in that. Few of you have seen much of the outside world or the people that live there, so where we are going will be a totally new experience for you, just like it was for me when I set out. All new experiences should be looked at cautiously. Why don't we ask some of our fellow warriors of their first experiences in large cities. Shelf?" She indicated one of the people whose hand remained up.

Shelf related her experiences in Beijing. She was surprisingly frank about how intimidating the experience was at first, but assured everyone the culture shock did not last. Sash volunteered next.

"I've been to Jubaan, Japan, and a lot of other big cities there. You see, I have relatives there on my father's side and I've visited my cousin, Usagi, lots and lots of times. People say we look alike and act a lot alike but I think that's just because she wears her hair like mine. They have lots of cool music and neat televisions shows and the place is just really big and nice even if all the people there are foreigners. Oh yes, there are lots of girls that run around and kill Youmas in Japan too, so watch out. If you remember that the one's that wear what are called sailor fukus are good and the one's they are fighting are bad, you'll do okay."

"Thanks for that descriptive look of Japan through the really spaced's eyes," Perfume commented dryly.

"You're welcome."

Perfume made a mental note that Sash was also a bit oblivious to the way things worked and probably did not understand the concept of sarcasm.

"What about your experiences?" Cabinet asked.

"Yeah," Rei Za added. "They say you traveled all over the world. What's it like?"

Perfume noticed all of the other girls, even the ones that despised her, perked up at the question. Apparently word had gotten around a lot more quickly than she realized. "I don't know. It's a pretty long tale. Are you sure you want to hear me talk?"

Unanimously the girls encouraged her to go on. "First of all let me tell you, no matter where you go the people are all the same. Now the first place I went to was actually a small fishing village off the coast of..." The conversation went from there with Perfume discussing many of the various places in the world. There were some she left out, having all of her secrets revealed was a step she would not take for anyone. Even her own parents did not know the whole story.

She was amazed by the rapt attention she received from everyone. Not a single person looked bored or annoyed with the speech. Perfume would never have regarded herself as any kind of decent storyweaver, but the others had no complaints. After several hours Perfume finished, allowing the others to absorb what was said.

"You know a lot!" Sash said.

Perfume shook her head, the praise was unworthy of her. "I just kept my ears open and paid attention to the world around me."

Shi Fan spoke up at that point. "It sounds to me like you're a little critical of our own village. If we're so behind the times why did you come back? Lots of others have left to move to the bigger cities, even my own brother.

Perfume sadly shook her head. "Because its home. No matter where you go or what you do, there's only one place on earth that is."

Most of the girls nodded at that point.

"That's not to say I don't think there shouldn't be changes. As much as our traditions have kept us alive for centuries, we have fallen too far behind in the ways of the world outside of Joketsuzoku. We need to start changing things now, easing our way into the modern world. Otherwise we will be unprepared and crushed by it when it comes knocking at our door. And someone always comes knocking at the door. Always."

Soap spoke up, obviously fascinated by the direction the conversation had taken despite the fact she was still shackled to her hateful partner. What do you think we should do?"

Perfume was about to downplay any suggestions when she noticed that all eyes were intently riveted to her. They were actually interested in what she had to say. That was a first. She had plenty of ideas, but almost no one to share them with. Now she had a captive audience, so to speak, and if they were willing to lend her their ears she was prepared to talk to them, the late hour be damned.

So for the next four hours she laid out what basic course she believed the Amazons should take. Early on many argued with her ideas, but she tore apart arguments and almost invariably got the party twisted around to agree with her ideas without realizing it. By the end of the speech all but two of the girls were in total agreement with Perfume about what should be done regarding the future. And the holdouts only argument was that 'the old ways shouldn't be changed.'

Perfume assured the group they would get a late start tomorrow to make up for the lost sleep time. As she made her way back to her sleeping roll Julep made her presence known by walking up to the pink-haired Amazon.

"If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it."

"What do you mean?" Perfume asked.

Julep gave a feral grin. "In a total of thirty six hours you have managed to turn a bunch of people that hated you into converts that would help you revolt against the council if you ordered it. Most of them anyway."

Perfume gaped openly at that. "Get real! I did nothing of the kind. I just told them a lot of things that made sense. Most of them were obvious anyway."

"You really have no idea what you did, do you?" Julep could see the answer of no in the other girl's eyes. "As I listened to you, I watched with as much of a critical eye as I could. I ain't much for words, as you may have figured out by now, I know what I believe in and what my goals are in life, so I watched the way you said it. The way you talked was flawless. I found myself lost in what you were saying more than once. You have charisma you don't even know you possess. It ain't just what you said, it was the way you said it; your voice pitch, the way you moved you body, the way you argued with people without alienating them, the way you got them to admit you were right and they were wrong. And now they will follow you wherever you would take them. All but one or two anyway, but you can never please all of the people, can you?"

Perfume was in shock. Did she have that much of an effect on them? As difficult as it was to believe she had, there just might have been a great deal of truth in what Julep had told her. The coming days would tell.

And tell they did. Within three days she was convinced Julep had been correct. Individual conversations had given Perfume all the information she needed. Most of the warriors had almost total faith in her, discounting the still bound pair of Foam and Soap, and Boudoir, which wasn't really a surprise. Those two still resented the fact they were locked together and Boudoir was still mad about being made an example, but Perfume was confident they would come around.

It was two days later when Perfume silently approached Julep.

"I've been looking at where our path leads. There's a mountain pass coming up."

Julep nodded in understanding. "Perfect place to bring down a rockslide and delay us three whole days."

"I'm going to order an early camp. Then the two of us will go alone to scout the area. Any more than that and we might be spotted."

Julep nodded once again and eagerly prepared to engage in the hunt.

The masked figure waited in the shadows of the rocks above the pass. It was difficult finding the right spot to block the pass with. The canyon was so wide the rockslide had to be nearly perfect, otherwise it would be simple for the party to simply crawl over the boulders and continue on after only having been delayed a few hours. At last the figure believed it located the correct spot with which one breaking point would be all that was required to divert the party for close to three days.

It was just about to detonate the rocks when it sensed a presence behind it. Quickly, the darkened figure rolled to its left just a second before a set of cat's claws impacted where it had been but an instant before. The strike on the rock sent a shower of sparks along the ground. The figure lashed out with a quick sweep of the foot that would have knocked a normal person off their feet. But Julep was no ordinary person, not even an ordinary Amazon, and with her Musk-inherited speed, jumped back and out of the way.

The figure drew back in apprehension and fled. Julep's unrivaled speed gave her the edge in the pursuit as caught up to her prey within seconds. Just as she lashed out again with the claws, the figure ducked and rolled to the right, narrowly avoiding the sharp metal blades rip into its flesh. Julep watched as the figure reached a hand into its shirt and bring out a cylinder of metal. A telescoping staff darted out and nearly caught Julep in the head. Once again her speed saved her as she darted out of the path of the strike and moved in. The sweep of her arm was close enough this time as the claws caught a glancing cut on the figure's top. Julep smelled the scent of fresh blood in the air which confirmed her suspicions of the hit. The figure reached inside its shirt and withdrew its hand to see blood on its fingertips. It looked down at the blood, rolled its eyes, then keeled over.

Julep was thinking about what a disappointment the hunt had been with the figure's sudden collapse and was approaching when she sensed something wrong. Instantly she realized the figure was faking its collapse and that it was nothing more than bait. Bait which Julep had fallen for. Before the figure got to its feet a small black ball was in its hand for an instant before it was hurled at Julep's feet. The ball erupted in a billowing yellow cloud, catching Julep in the center. The wolf-girl recoiled in disgust as the scent of the stink bomb assailed her nose, the stench powerful enough to make her head reel and sight spin. The figure was on the recoiling Julep in a flash as it connected using the staff with a blow to the back of Julep's head. The girl went to one knee in pain and found it too difficult to even stand up.

The figure did not waste even a moment as it leaped away from Julep over the rocky terrain of the mountain and made its way to the tree line. It had almost made it there when a net suddenly blossomed out of the brush. Barely managing to avoid the trap, the figure darted to the side. However, this proved to be yet another trap as it was suddenly set upon by Perfume, swinging her naginta in a deadly arc. The staff reached out and parried the blade of the naginta to the side. There was no retaliatory strike by the figure as it found yet another thrust leveled at it. Once again the near fatal strike was parried.

Perfume switched tactics and brought the blunt end of her polearm in a sweep aimed at the back of the figure's legs. The blow was on the mark as the figure was knocked off its feet. The second naginta strike was powerful enough to pound the staff out of its grasp and send it flying far out of reach. The figure was now on its back on the ground, naginta leveled at its face.

Perfume saw the enraged Julep approach her position. "Go back to camp! I'll take care of this one!"

Julep was about to protest when she caught the look in Perfume's eyes. It was not a request. With a snarl Julep obeyed the instruction and left her much desired prey to the mercies of her leader.

Perfume never let her eyes leave the fallen form. Once she was convinced Julep was well out of sight she waved at the figure with her naginta. "You can take off the mask now, Silk."

The figure removed the mask to reveal that it was indeed the Amazon Perfume had suspected. "What gave it away?"

"The staff. Your moves. Either one was more than enough."

Silk shrugged. Too bad she had lost some of her moves as she got older, though even in her prime she would have been no match for Perfume. So that was the way it was going to end. Silk knew the game was up. Too bad she couldn't have laid eyes on Soun one last time. It was odd that in her last moments of freedom she realized she should have gone back to Joketsuzoku just long enough to set her house in order and return to Nerima to try to win her love's heart once more, not that it appeared that would have taken much effort.

Silk knew Perfume had several options open to her. Send her back to Joketsuzoku in chains with a couple of guards. Drag her along for the trip. Kill her. Any one of them would be acceptable under the circumstances.

"If I didn't know better, I would swear you were trying to stop us from getting to Nerima," Perfume taunted.

Silk's retort was abruptly cut off.

"It's a good thing I know better. Our meeting here must be the most incredible of coincidences. No doubt you have been following us to make sure we were safe in our journey. Now that you see that we can handle ourselves there's no longer any need to worry. You can go on to Japan, secure in the knowledge we are all right. In fact, if I were to lay eyes on you again on this trip, I would have to come to the conclusion you have been following us for an altogether different reason and the consequences to that would not be beneficial to either of us, especially you. Do you understand?"

The day was just full of surprises. Silk simply nodded her head.

"Good! I have a job to do which I now intend to see through to the end. If you get in the way it would be...unfortunate. Have a nice day, Silk."

Silk bowed and left as quickly as she could. Whatever agenda Perfume had was anyone's guess, but Silk now had a second chance to help Shampoo out and she was damned if she would let it pass. She set off on the most direct course for Japan she could take. Time was too valuable to waste.

Julep saw Perfume return from the mountain, a look of satisfaction on her face.

"The problem- " Julep started to ask but was cut off.

"Taken care of." Perfume assured her. "You didn't mention this to anyone, did you?"

"No. I figured you would want to make the announcement."

Perfume shook her head. "I don't want everyone to get paranoid. I managed to get enough info out of the ambusher to know she was working alone."

"Was it an Amazon?"

"Yes," Perfume admitted. "But I would rather not mention who it was. I like the family and would want no shame to fall upon them for the actions of one individual. The matter is most definitely taken care of."

Julep accepted the explanation and promised to remain silent. "Things should be quieter now."

"There is that," Perfume agreed.

On the top of the mountain the man dressed in gray robes looked down upon the group, still several miles distant from their own position.

One of the two dozen men dressed in reptilian armor that stood next to him spoke up. "It appears to be a group of armed women, sir."

"It must be the Amazons!" Drakosh the Enchanter snarled in fury. "How the hell did they know we seek the mask?! Curse their eyes! Now we must find a way to kill them!"

Drakosh cursed his infernal luck. As a member on the inner council of the Cult of the Serpent Men, he knew there was a great push to be made in the upcoming years. This was one of the last tasks to prepare for the rebirth. The legacy that had been passed down to the cult for the last millennium, but now the legacy was being threatened by the same group that had nearly hunted the last of the cult into extinction. It seemed that the destiny of the Amazons and the Serpent Men was to be forever intertwined.

The next night:  
Mount Phoenix:  
China:

The Eight Devils of Kimone stood outside the mountain of the Bird People. Gemma looked the group over one last time. Night had fallen and there was a peaceful quietness to the air around them.

"There's been a slight change in plans. We need to take some of them alive."

"How many?" Tessai asked, the sound of disappointment evident in his voice.

"A handful," Gemma informed them. "Preferably young and healthy ones."

"Allow me the honor, Lord Gemma," Yurimaru offered in his soft, feminine voice.

Gemma slowly shook his head. "Benisato. I want you to do it."

Benisato missed the hurt look in Yurimaru's face as she bowed in agreement and closed her eyes. By concentrating she could see through the eyes of the thousands of snakes that had sneaked into Mount Phoenix at her behest. At last she found one that had slithered into a place that would do.

"I've found a nursery. There's no more than thirty children, which I suspect will be more than enough. I can take it alone. The rest of you can enjoy yourselves."

"Not quite," Gemma turned to Mujura. "I need you to obtain a special item for me. It lies near the royal chambers of the King." Gemma related the specifics of the item he sought and where to bring it. If he judged the reactions of the avians, and if the information the Shogun had given him on the leader was true, he would need the item to survive the encounter. That and the other that awaited nearby to assist him if it was needed.

"It will be as you command," Mujura assured him.

"My lovelies are in position," Mushizo assured Gemma.

The leader of the Eight Devils looked skyward at the huge swarms of stinging insects that flew above the mountain. Anyone trying to escape was doomed.

The Devils needed no encouragement. Benisato commanded several of her most poisonous snakes to lash out at the guards that were positioned at one of the entrances to Mount Phoenix. Each guard would drop to the ground, dead before ever sounding the alarm.

The plan went off without a hitch as the group moved quickly to where the dead guards lay fallen.

"Remember, except for Benisato's mission, we are to leave no survivors."

The Devils smiled. That was not a problem for anyone. The group entered the mountain in short order. Attacking in the middle of the night they would have an early advantage in the slaughter and any organized resistance would be long in coming.

It wasn't long before the screaming began.

"What's going on?!" One of the Bird People managed to ask in one of the main caverns of the mountain. A group of close to forty people gathered in there, trying to figure out was going on. Bizarre sounds had broken the night, and frightened all of them.

"I don't know. I heard a bunch of screams coming from one of the other caverns and then nothing."

Another figure rushed to the cavern in a blind panic. "They're coming! We have to get out of here!"

"Who's coming?" One of the others asked the hysterical man.

As the others saw the look in his eyes they knew madness had claimed their fellow avian.

"Death!"

Some of them looked one another over and came to the unanimous conclusion that leaving for a higher ground might be wiser. All of them took off and sailed for a hole in the roof, one designed for the coming and going of the avians to depart whenever they so chose.

Zakura stepped into the cavern from one of the linking tunnels, just as the others took off.

"Now, now, boys. You shouldn't leave so soon. The party's just getting started." And with that she parted her cloak, casting three dozen metal objects up to the ceiling of the cavern, including the hole that allowed access to the outside world. The object's metal prongs clamped down on the rock for the briefest of seconds, securing their position.

"Boom," she said under her breath as her eyes glowed red.

The explosives detonated, causing the ceiling to collapse on almost all of the avians. Several tried to maneuver around the falling pieces of stone, but most were simply swatted out of the air, wings breaking on impact with the rock and bones shattering as their bodies hit the floor.

Zakuro felt a rush as she ducked back into her side passage. Oh how she loved to hear screams of agony. It was nice to know she could still bring down the house.

Several of the Bird People managed to avoid both the explosions and the debris, narrowly avoiding the fate of so many of their fellow citizens. As they burst through the opening in the side of the mountain they received their first taste of the night air, and of the millions of wasps, bees, hornets, and every other kind of stinging insect imaginable. Within seconds, the handful of survivors were no more as the insects attached themselves to their winged bodies and repeatedly stung them for all they were worth.

The hunchbacked Mushizo savored the feeling of each one of his 'children' as they dug their stingers into the avians. Some of the children died under the return assault of the people, but nowhere near enough to cause him real pain. It was a disappointment that the bird people dropped from the skies all too soon for his taste. The other Devils were proving themselves too effective, hardly anyone was making it out of the mountain. Mushizo took solace in that at least no one was getting out alive.

Tessai, already in stone form, stormed around another set of houses in one of the caverns. He simply ripped open the wall of the nearest one and stormed inside. Before him was a scene that he found all too familiar this evening. Already the occupants, a man and woman, were dead. Benisato's snakes had done their job too well, silently positioning themselves in people's homes and biting them while they slept. By his estimation, Tessai had not managed to kill more than fifty of the bird people. He should have had at least a hundred by now. His stone skin was not anywhere near doused with the amount of blood he wanted.

As he kicked his way out the opposite side of the home in search of more prey he was rewarded by one of the people taking off about two hundred feet away. He allowed the young woman two seconds of air time for a decent head start before hurling his huge double edged sword spinning in a deadly arc. The blade cut the woman in half directly out of mid-air. His accuracy was as sharp as ever.

As the blade returned to his hand two newcomers arrived on the scene. It was much to Tessai's delight they were wielding swords. Warriors. Perhaps they would put up a good fight. Not. He allowed them their screams of rage and to bear down on him. He raised his double-sword high in the air and let them close enough to strike his stony hide with their swords. Both blows were completely ineffective as they merely bounced off Tessai's rocky skin. He let the surprise in their eyes stay with them as he brought his weapon down at last, slicing through both, effortlessly shearing them in half. The blood splashing across his skin felt good, even through the stone. That was more like it.

Tessai moved on to see if what else he could kill.

The two matronly women looked towards one another. The nursery was segregated away from most of the other homes due to the amount of noise the children tended to generate. Usually when the children were asleep, things were quiet, except tonight. Both women felt the shock of what sounded like several cave falls in the mountain. The nursery was in a very sturdy section, but if it was an earthquake there might not be any protection.

"Perhaps I should check out what's happening," one offered to the other.

"I think that would be a good ide-."

Whatever else was to be said was cut off as a pair of arms elongated to coil themselves around the two women. Both found themselves wrapped up from their throats to their arms, just like a snake would its prey.

Benisato looked upon the trapped women. She drew them closer and decided she would split the methods of death. For the first one she simply increased the pressure from the arm wrapped around her throat and snapped the neck. For the other, Benisato simply brought the woman close, maneuvering her so her throat was revealed before the mistress of the snakes' mouth. The last thing the avian woman saw was her attacker's jaw drop open to reveal two huge fangs, exactly like a snake would have. She closed her eyes at that point, so the last sensation the woman had was of those fangs sinking themselves into her throat. The last thought the woman had was that she hoped none of the children had seen what had happened.

Benisato tossed the useless body to the side. With a purposeful stride she entered the nursery. Only now were several of the children beginning to stir, awakened by the sounds of the struggle outside. Benisato gained the attention of the children, exerting her influence over minds by looking into the children's eyes.

"Rest easy, little one's. Auntie Benisato will be taking care of you from now on."

"Move quickly!" Kiima was scared out of her mind. She had no idea what was going on. Only that half of the guards in the royal towers were dead and that Lord Saffron was in mortal danger. She rounded up the remaining guards that she could find, only about twenty of them, including Koruma and Masara, and had them form a protective shield around Saffron as she carried the child herself. The attempt to recover the Kinjakan and Gekkaja before fleeing proved futile. Both items had been taken and their guards slain.

There were a series of escape tunnels specifically designed for emergencies such as this. They were built low to the ground in case the lord had been injured and was unable to fly. Now for the first time that she could remember the lord of Mount Phoenix was being forced to use the tunnels. Oh what a shameful job she was doing as the protector of the royal family.

The group entered a small cave, the last area one could rest before emerging to the outside world. As they entered they all saw a man, dressed in an old style white Japanese robe, barring the way out. He had a sheathed sword held parallel to the floor in his hand, displaying it for all to behold. Kiima could not help noticing the man was blind.

"My name is Ututsu Mujura. I offer you the choice of honorable surrender or honorable death."

"KILL HIM!" It was no doubt one of the scum that dared to desecrate Mount Phoenix and harm its people. Kiima vowed he would be only the first to fall, not the last.

All of the guards, save Koruma and Masara, rushed forward to dispatch the one who would dare threaten the safety of their lord. Despite the sheer number of the attackers Mujura slowly placed his hand on the hilt of the still sheathed sword, drawing it no more than two inches from out of its sheath.

The child, Saffron, held tightly onto Kiima's pant leg in fear. She placed a reassuring hand on his head to calm him. Mujura would be dead soon enough, then the party could continue on their way.

Kiima could only see a flash of movement from Mujura as he was lost from sight by the group of guards. Within seconds screams of pain sounded out, overpowered only briefly by the ring of metal on metal. Soon she was able to see Mujura, the cause for her clear view striking fear into her. The guards were falling almost one to a swing, despite the fact that they greatly outnumbered the lone blind man. Only Kui, one of the master swordsmen of the guard, managed to exchange three blows with Mujura before he was cut down as well.

Even as Kiima's mind grasped at what had just happened she heard a cry of pain from the side. She turned just in time to see Koruma grabbed by what appeared to be a man emerging from the shadows. All she managed to see clearly was that the gray skinned man seemed to have some sort of mechanical claw-like appendage where his left arm should have been. Her fears about the shadows were confirmed as a kicking and screaming Koruma was dragged into the shadows by the man.

"Where did he- " whatever else was going to be said was cut off as a thin wire shot out from where the party had come from and wrapped itself firmly around Masara's neck. As soon as the wire stopped looping one hundred thousand volts of electricity shot through the wire and electrocuted him.

Kiima could smell the burned flesh of her longtime subordinate. She had known him since he was a little boy, bound to become one of her primary aides in the upcoming years in her role as caretaker of Mount Phoenix and Lord Saffron. She felt Saffron cling even tighter to her legs, shivering in fear.

"What's going on?" he babbled.

"We are killing your people." Yurimaru said as he made his way from his position from up the hall, closing the distance between himself and Kima.

"WHY?! Kima raged through her tears, praying he was lying. "Why are you doing this?!"

"I could tell you it is because we desire treasure, or perhaps some of the magic items your people possess, or that you represent a threat to our existence and need to be removed."

Kiima turned to the sound of the deep voice. From behind Mujura a huge man, well over six feet in height with a long pole-like item wrapped in a bundle of cloth, moved from deeper in the passageway. Something in the way the man carried himself told her he was the leader.

"I could also tell you it is because we hate you, your deaths make us more powerful, or we desire your souls, but the truth is we are killing all of your race for the simple fact that you are in our way. The people of Mount Phoenix will cease to exist because they are an inconvenience, otherwise you would have been beneath our notice."

"NO!" This was from Saffron, who darted from Kiima's legs and rushed towards Gemma, stopping once he entered the cave. "I won't let you hurt them!"

"Too late, boy," Gemma said. "It's already done."

Kiima moved forward to grab Saffron, but suddenly felt something stick itself in her back. She cursed herself for lowering her guard as she barely managed to turn painfully around and see what had struck her. She was certain there had been no one there before. Her rapidly darkening vision caught sight of the gray man from the shadows poised above her back, metal claw glistening in the torchlight with blood. It was then she heard Saffron speaking.

"If my people are dead, then I have nothing to live for," he proclaimed. "The least I can do is take their butchers with me."

Kiima could see him raise his hands to the roof of the cave, wondering what he was up to.

"I call upon the internal power of my heart!"

No! He couldn't be doing that. It was a death sentence to call upon the internal fires to trigger the transformation to the adult version of himself. All the lords of Mount Phoenix could call upon that inherent ability to transform once without the waters of Jusendo, but the internal flames could not sustain them, and they would die in less than an hour. And once the transformation was triggered there was no way to turn it off. It was nothing more than a prolonged form of suicide.

"NO! STOP, MY L-URK!"

"Be silent," Shujima said as he brought the claw from under her throat and sliced it open. "Forever."

Saffron stopped in his ritual and turned to see his longtime keeper dead. With her loss he knew there was nothing left. Without another word he released all of his energy and in a pillar of flame was turned into his adult form, blazing wings and all.

"I have less than an hour of life left." Saffron now said in a deep voice. "That will be more than enough to put you through hell before you die."

Gemma appeared unimpressed by the display. "The rest of you, leave. I will deal with this one." He held the wrapped bundle in front of him.

Shujima instantly disappeared in the shadows and Mujuru ran down the passageway from which Gemma came. Only Yurimaru remained.

"Allow me to assist you," he offered.

"Leave now!"

Yurimaru reluctantly moved to obey, leaving Gemma alone with the blazing Saffron.

"It does not matter what you do. I will kill you soon enough and destroy them as well! None of you will survive!"

"Are you through posturing?" Gemma said emotionlessly.

Saffron raged at the man's seeming nonchalance. Didn't he understand his death was before him? It didn't matter. He would be dead soon enough.

"DIE!" A huge gout of flame burst forth from Saffron's hands blowing a twenty foot hole clear through the remainder of the rock and to the outside world, Gemma's body helping to pave the way.

Saffron flew outside to gaze upon the man's remains, if there was enough left of his body to confirm his death. Then he would return into the mountain and finish off the rest of the butchers.

Upon clearing the hole he caught sight of a blur from around the side. He made out the familiar sight of a staff with a crescent on top, the Gekkaja, right before it went down his left side, opening a huge gash from his shoulder to hip. It was no small amount of pain he suffered as he flew another twenty feet before landing, fires from within licking up the wound, healing it within seconds.

"So, you have the ability to regenerate the same as me." Gemma stated. "I was unaware of that."

Saffron turned in rage at the man. Gemma had somehow survived the attack and looked as healthy as he did before the blow.

Gemma held the Gekkaja out before him. "This is a rather useful item the way it produces cold and snuffs out a lot of those heat attacks. Coming back from that blast would have been harder without it."

"DIE!" was the only response Saffron uttered as he once again attempted to fry Gemma where he stood.

With faster than human speed the leader of the Devils leaped over the attack and landed next to Saffron, swinging the sharpened end of Gekkaja once more. A second slice was landed on Saffron as his chest was ripped open, but in throwing the blow Gemma left himself open, allowing Saffron to hurl another fire blast at him.

Even at point blank range Gemma evaded a majority of the fire bolt, the rest passing him by and destroying a large section of a nearby hill, but the portion of the blast that did connect sizzled flesh along the back and blackened it instantly. Despite the obvious pain Saffron saw Gemma grimace ever so slightly, then watched in mute amazement as the wound on his opponent healed even more quickly then he could have done it.

In spite of the shock Saffron evaded another thrust and took off. As he suspected Gemma remained on the ground, unable to meet him in the air.

"It is the end!" Saffron unleashed another blast at his grounded opponent. This time Gemma brought the Gekkaja to meet it.

"Pitiful," Gemma taunted in an even voice.

The roar of rage from Saffron could have been heard from miles away. Bolt after bolt was sent Gemma's way, the Devil either dodging it or using the Gekkaja to protect himself. The two made their way from Mount Phoenix and to the side of a nearby mountain, where Saffron was certain no damage would be inflicted on his mountain home. There was still hope that Gemma had lied and that there were some survivors. There had to be. He would not be the one to have led his people to extinction.

Now he had the space and unleashed a hellstorm that tore up the mountainside his opponent had been on. His vision was temporarily blinded by the blast, and he lost sight of Gemma momentarily. As his vision cleared he bore witness to the devastation he had inflicted. The entire mountainside had been swept clear of all life, save the large man whose flesh was healing from the burns he had received, Gekkaja still in hand.

"ENOUGH!" If the Gekkaja was all that stood between him and revenge, it would have to be destroyed. From high above he took careful aim at the staff in front of Gemma and launched yet another attack, one continuous focused flame on him. As Saffron anticipated, Gemma blocked it with the Gekkaja, which continued to protect him. Saffron continued focusing the ten foot wide blast at Gemma. The ground around Gemma began to bubble and melt into a liquid, causing Gemma to sink into the earth. Perhaps he would drown in molten earth before being burned alive. It was going to be a race against time since Saffron could see the Gekkaja glow green and begin to crack from the assault. Unfortunately exhaustion began to wear the King of the Bird People down.

Saffron knew he was going to win. He would have just enough power to do it. However, his near insane delight was short lived as a chi blast amputated both of Saffron's wings and broke off his attack on Gemma as he spiraled towards the ground. He managed to rotate just enough in his downward fall to observe a girl with long white hair and scale armor hovering in the air a short distance away.

"The fist strike was Herb's Special Revised Wing Cutter Attack!" she bragged as she summoned a glow from between her hands. "And here's the finisher! SAFFRON SLAYER DEADLY SPIRAL!"

The spiraling chi blast struck Saffron even as he released a fire blast of his own. Herb-chan was able to fly out of the way of the fiery bolt. Saffron was not so fortunate as his wings were less than one quarter regenerated when the blast struck him full in the chest. The force of the blow's tremendous power was enough to drive him head first into the ground. It took precious moments for him to get to his feet from the impact. The only consolation was that his wings had regenerated as he lay in the ground.

"Two can die as easily as one!" Saffron started to shout when he heard someone moving behind him.

"You go first."

Saffron turned just in time to see the Gekkaja was coming from its drawn back position and being brought forward. He would have screamed in anger at Gemma for prolonging the inevitable, Saffron would simply regenerate the damage, when he realized where the cut would connect.

To his credit Saffron managed to get a hand up and began to raise a shield of heat which would have instantly killed a normal man. Unfortunately for him, the combination of the Gekkaja and Gemma's regeneration were more than enough to enable him to not only survive the heat, but ensure his limbs possessed enough force to cut through the blocking arm and shear off Saffron's head at the neck.

Gemma observed the now headless avian closely. When the body fell over he knew the truth.

"It appears there are limits to your regenerative abilities, King of the Dead. He looked up to the one that had provided the last minute assist. "Thank you. It would have taken me a while longer to kill him if you hadn't arrived when you did."

Herb-chan shrugged. "I have as much vested in this as you. It looked like you had your hands full, so I thought I might speed things up." That was when Herb-chan noticed Saffron's body, and what it was doing. "That doesn't look good."

Where there was a headless stump, flames began to shoot out. Many flames. Herb-chan managed to erect a chi shield for the heat and flew backwards as fast as she could while Gemma backed up while keeping the Gekkaja in front of him. Neither had made it very far when the body exploded.

For miles around, the shock was felt as the Saffron's body detonated, releasing the last vestiges of his power in an enormous display of light and heat, turning the mountain under the dead monarch into rubble.

Even at the edge of the blast radius Herb-chan was blown nearly a mile backwards. The chi shield and her own improved immunity to heat was all that saved her from being destroyed, and once certain there was only going to be one blast she flew back. Mount Phoenix itself looked unharmed. The blast seemed to have been concentrated mostly upward. As she approached ground zero she began searching around for her ally. It was unlikely Gemma had survived. He had been at ground zero when the blast occurred. Still, Herb-chan would be thorough and make certain there was nothing left.

The aerial search took her over and around the new chasm that now claimed the area where the mountain once stood. Even she was in awe of the kind of energy it must have taken to do that. If she possessed that kind of raw power there would have been no need for the Shogun of the Dark or his plans. She could have taken over half the world on her own.

As her dreams of what could have been went on, she spotted a movement from down towards the bottom of the pit. At first it was nothing but disbelief that anything could have survived the explosion, but as she flew downward she discovered the truth. What appeared to be nothing more than the remains of a skeleton with a little bit of flesh was reconstructing itself. Almost as amazing was the speed at which it was happening. Within less than two minutes a perfectly healthy and naked Gemma was standing before her.

"How..." Herb-chan could get out nothing more.

"My abilities were boosted far beyond what they once were. That, combined with the Gekkaja, saved me, though it was destroyed in the blast. Still, it served its purpose well. Now help me out of this pit."

Herb-chan did as she was bidden and flew Gemma back to Mount Phoenix. The other Devils had been waiting for the return of their master, having been informed by Mushizo through his link with the stinging insects.

Gemma looked questioningly towards the others as he grabbed a nearby cloth to cover himself. "Saffron has been disposed of. Are all of them dead?"

"We swept the area twice." Benisato informed Gemma. "Aside from the children that are locked in the nursery, we've found no one."

"I guarantee no one flew or walked out of here alive," Mushizo confirmed.

"That is good. The Shogun was most specific in not allowing anyone to escape. Secrecy is still of the highest importance. It is not impossible some of the citizenry were not present at the time of the killing. So we will keep our eyes open and set traps for any that might return. Yurimaru, prepare a chamber for the Shogun. He will be..." Gemma trailed off as he saw Mujuru hold up his hand for silence.

The blind man went to one of the rock walls and gently placed his hand next to it. In a flash he drove the sword through the wall, allowing to remain there momentarily.

"What was that all about?" Zakura started to say until she saw the blood run down the blade and drip to the floor.

Mujuru removed his blade. "With my enhanced hearing I detected the heartbeat of someone hidden in the walls. There is a secret passage behind the wall here."

"Tessai, break it down!" Gemma ordered.

Tessai did as he was bidden and drove his fist through the wall, opening a small hole that the others could stick their heads in and look down. The body of a little girl was lying in the passageway. Mujuru was the first there as he demanded silence.

"I hear the sounds of running feet," he informed them.

Yurimaru took Mujuru's place and sent one of his wires down the corridor. He was rewarded by the wire looping around something that immediately attempted to pull away. Immediately he sent a light charge down the wire and felt the resistance die off.

"We should interrogate that one to find out if any others escaped," Yurimaru offered.

"That's a small passage. None of us can fit down there," Tessai said.

Benisato once again took the lead. "I can," she informed them and proceeded to slither her body like a snake into the opening and went down the narrow corridor, disappearing in the darkness. It took but moments for her to reappear, dragging the body of a young girl with her.

She threw the unconscious girl, who could have been no older than seven, roughly on the ground. "I heard the sounds of a river at the end of the passageway."

"Damn!" Gemma murmured, then indicated with a wave of his hand what Zakura should do.

Zakura moved above the girl's unconscious form and slapped her awake. The girl awakened and looked up in terror at the group before her.

"We need some information, little one," Zakura cooed, her scar filled face doing nothing to ease the girl's discomfort. "Were there any others that escaped down the passageway?"

"N...no," she managed to stammer out.

Mujuru had been listening intently. "She's lying. I heard her heartbeat jump."

"Oh, now that's too bad." Zakura's tone did not sound like she was disappointed. Rather it sounded as though she was quite pleased with the response. She pulled a small throwing blade out and started moving it in circles above the girl's eye. "I think I'll have to take one of those beautiful brown eyes and loosen your tongue."

The girl nearly wet herself in fear. "I'll tell you the truth. There was one other girl with me. She got away."

Zakura just continued smiling. "I think I'll take one out anyway. You really should be disciplined for lying to your elders."

Gemma gave Mushizo orders above the girl's screams. The hunchbacked man quickly sent his swarms of stinging insects to search for the river's opening. It took but moments to discover there were two different rivers leading from within the mountain. He sent out his insects and began searching the skies above them.

"Why didn't you spot her flying away?" Gemma inquired, his tone indicating his displeasure.

"I'm not sure," Mushizo responded. "None of them were near your fight and all of my children have been flying as high as they could, keeping a lookout for anyone that escaped. I'm certain I would have spotted anyone leaving, even from that far away."

Mushizo continued concentrating until one of his distant scouts reported a little girl crawling out of the river several miles downstream. He watched her for a moment, trying to figure out why she wasn't taking off, until he noticed something unusual.

"She swam down nearly the entire length of the river. That's why I didn't spot her. She swam instead of flying!" Mushizo said.

"Will she get away?" Gemma asked.

Mushizo shook his head. "Her wing's broken. There's no way she'll get far. Still, I won't take any chances and send the two nearest swarms after her. Either one is capable of killing up to a dozen adults. Disposing of her should be easy."

Gemma nodded his head in approval. Best not to take any chances.

Seven year old Sera ran for all she was worth, trying to keep from crying. Her father taught her big girls didn't cry, and she had to be a big girl now. She was all alone since she saw her mother and brother...

She pushed the thought out of her mind. If she thought about it then she was going to stop running. And then the bad stone man would hunt her down and kill her he would tear off her...

She began sobbing. There was no way to stop it now. She cried and cried but kept running. He legs burned as though on fire, and she could only take small shallow breaths into her painfully tight chest as she ran. Why did she have to break her wing? If it was still working then she could have flown to the ends of the earth to get away from the evil people. But it had been broken by some falling rocks that the weird laughing woman had brought down when she made everything explode.

She was running blindly through the thick brush, trying to remain out of sight, when she ran into someone.

"NOOOO!" she screamed and tried to run away. It was one of the bad people that was going to kill her. She just knew it. The person held onto her tightly as she tried to escape, her struggles going on for almost a full minute before she realized the person was just holding her and not trying to harm her at all. She paused long enough to see it was a young boy, one that looked a lot like her older brother, except he had orange hair and lacked wings. All the time she was struggling he spoke to her in a soft voice to get her to calm down. She found herself starting to relax in his grip. She couldn't believe someone that looked like her brother and spoke so nice could be bad.

Once she settled down the boy released her. He crouched down so he could talk to her eye to eye. "What's wrong, little one? You seem to be scared of something."

"Bad people," she sobbed. "There were bad people that duh...did bad things."

Once again the boy soothed the girl, trying to get her to calm down again. Just as he succeeded the sound of a subtle buzzing caught his attention. He looked carefully around, his eyes settling on the direction the girl had come from. Several dozen wasps were hovering around, almost as though they were waiting for something.

"This doesn't look good."

Sera turned and saw the wasps hovering around. She could never remember wasps behaving in such a manner, when she noticed the number was growing considerably. Within moments dozens went to hundreds, then thousands. The swarm blocked out a considerable portion of the path before them.

"Get behind me, little one," the boy said gently and delicately pushed the girl behind him. Once she was fully behind him he cupped his hands and held them out before him. Quickly gray energy filled the hands before him, expanding by the moment.

The swarm finished building and surged forward. The boy held his ground until the fastest of the insects was no more than twenty feet in front of both he and the girl. The range was close enough as he unleashed the ball of energy directly in the path of the murderous creatures. When the ball made contact with the fist bug it expanded in a gray fireball more than twenty times its original size.

Sera had to shield her eyes from the glare. It was a half-hearted gesture as she was fascinated by the coruscating gray energy. Calmly she watched as it consumed all of the swarm in a wave of gray light. The heat generated from the blast was intense enough that she felt herself take a step back to avoid some of the effects. When the light cleared she saw not a single wasp was left.

"WOW! That was awesome! How did yo..." she trailed off as she noticed her savior was flat on his back, unconscious.

Sera felt the dread in her heart as she gazed upon the prone boy's form. Had one of the bad people sneaked up behind her and taken another one of her friends away? She began desperately shaking his body, crying hard again. He must have been dead, just like everyone else. She started to calm down when she noticed he was, in fact, breathing, but he didn't do anything else. Just as she stopped shaking him and tried to think of another way to revive his consciousness a voice came out from the woods, opposite from the wasps.

"What have you done with Flare?"

Sera looked up to see a fierce looking girl, about Flare's age, scowl down at her. In her hands she held what appeared to be a rugbeater. The girl looked none too happy.

"Don't be paranoid, Carpet,' a voice from behind the newcomer spoke up.

The speaker moved into sight and passed Carpet, advancing to the fallen Flare. Sera could tell that she was short and younger than the other two, with red hair and bore a trident in her hands. "You heard the blast. My brother used his chi ability. Too bad he can't put anything less then every drop of his chi when he uses it. Must be annoying the way he always passes out after attacking." The trident-bearing girl hid a smile. "At least this gives you an excuse to baby him a bit."

"I don't know what you mean!" Carpet said, totally shocked. "Why would I want to baby a male like him, LinLin?"

LinLin smiled once more. "You hide it so poorly I don't know why you bother denying it. Everyone knows you got the hots for him. Couldn't tell you why though, as a brother he leaves a lot to be desired."

"Shut...up...you little cow." Flare mumbled as he tried to get up and promptly fell over.

Sera was on him in a second. "Are you hurt?"

"Looks like you have competition," LinLin said, who was then less than pleased that Carpet made no noise of protest. "What happened?" she asked Flare.

"A swarm of wasps attacked," he said weakly. "They were trying to kill the girl. I protected her."

LinLin looked the girl over, taking in the wings for the first time. She had heard of the people of Mount Phoenix, but considered them nothing more than an old wives tale elders told to scare children. Now she had evidence it was otherwise.

"Did they look like that?" Carpet said as dread began to fill her voice and she pointed to the second swarm that was approaching.

"Quick! RanRa..." LinLin cursed as she remembered that her sister had chosen to stay at home and not go on the long distance patrol. Her arm was still bothering her and the duo's attacks were always off when that was the case. Shampoo still had a lot to answer for. Too bad Cologne swore them to secrecy and forbade them from going back, not that she really wanted to risk angering Shampoo further.

Now she had a problem. Neither she nor Carpet could take out a bunch of small insects. And from the size of the swarm there was little doubt what the outcome would be when the struck. LinLin hated stings too.

"Look like it's up to me."

All eyed turned to see a tall, brown-haired girl standing atop a fallen log, looking smugly at the swarm of wasps that was moving upon them. With a flick of the wrist twin battle axes appeared from within the confines of her sleeves and appeared in her hand.

"It'll be just like the early training days." With a speed like few had ever seen she was suddenly spinning like a top, axes flashing, and entered the swarm.

Sera looked on in horror as the swarm fell upon the girl as well. Her figure was lost under the heavy black cloud of flying pain. No screams of pain were heard from the cloud, just the continuous sound of whirring. In moments Sera aware that the cloud was thinning out. Amazingly the girl was still spinning around, unaffected by what had happened. It took but a few more moments for the last of the insects to fall to the ground, clearing the air of all but the normal kinds of flying matter.

The girl stopped spinning and allowed the axes to fall back into their proper place. "Elder Be Dea used to make swarms of bees attack me to build up my speed back when I trained under her. It worked." she explained as she made her way back to the group. Flare was finally able to make it to his feet with Carpet's support when LinLin began cheering.

"Way to go, Puke!"

"Don't call me that!" the girl snapped.

"Puke saves the day!"

"I said stop it!"

"Puke! Puke! She's our girl! If she can't do it, no one will!"

"Get ready to be sliced and diced you obnoxious little weasel!" Twin axes appeared in the girl's hands once again. LinLin began to run away through the trees as the ax bearing girl started bringing them in an up and down motion, turning each tree into kindling. LinLin made certain to stick her tongue out at the girl as she ran. It was no coincidence that the way LinLin had gone was a direct path to the village, and that Carpet had a much easier time of helping Flare and Sera move out of the area.

"Why did the girl call the other one 'Puke'?" Sera asked.

Flare smiled at that. "It's a bad pun. When 'Puke's' mother was pregnant with her, she had her heart set on the name Perfume. Three days before Puke was born another woman in the village had a daughter and named her Perfume. Since our village is small, there was no way there could be two girls with the same name at the same age. Things would get too confusing. 'Puke's' mother was trying to decide on a name when someone suggested Ambergris, which she ended up using. Ambergris's mother didn't realize it was meant to be a joke and fell in love with the name, not understanding what she was going to do to her daughter."

"It sounds like a nice name. What's wrong with it?"

"Do you know what ambergris is?"

Sera shook her head no.

"It's an ingredient in perfume. Basically its whale vomit."

Sera 'bleched' and swore never to use perfume as long as she lived.

"She escaped," Mushizo said, the faintest bit of dread creeping into his voice. There was now a good chance his resurrection was about to come to an end.

Gemma remained impassive for a moment. Slowly he turned away from the Devils and walked off. "I will inform the Shogun of what has happened."

None of the Devils had a particularly good feeling about that.

Once out of sight of the others, Gemma pulled a small marble out of his boot. He gave the command word and watched expand large enough to fill his hand. A second word initiated contact with a likewise orb that the Shogun had nearby, his image filling the interior of the orb

"How did it go, Gemma?" The cowled image of the Shogun asked..

"All went as planned save that there was one escape." It was time to see how the Shogun would react to the failure.

Surprisingly, he seemed very unconcerned. "It was bound to happen. I simply hoped it would be later rather than sooner. Have Herb move his armies in a defensive web, reinforcing the south heavily. I want us cut off from the rest of the world."

Gemma moved to obey but was brought short as he was about to shrink the orb.

"Make certain that the armies are no closer than twenty miles. It is as much for their safety as a desire to keep them out of the way. You are in charge of security within that twenty miles. I don't want a mouse to get near here. Do you understand? More failures will not be tolerated."

"Of course, my Lord."

"Good!" The image of the Shogun disappeared, allowing Gemma to shrink the orb and replace it once more. Events were moving faster than even he thought they would. Perhaps it was time to start going into exact details of what he was going to do to Japan once it was his.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anyone familiar with Wade Tritschler's work knows who 'Ambergris' really is, and that she belongs to him. I named my own Perfume before coming into contact with his work, but still couldn't resist using a character as original as that.

Special Thanks to

Ryan Anderson  
Bloodblade  
James Robert Bader  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	31. The Storm Builds

Prologue

Akiko Yoshida breathed a sigh of relief as she finally arrived at the bridge. It had only taken her two days to find it since the TWPOS had set sail from China. At least that was where she had been told they had been since she hadn't been able to find the gangplank to get off the ship when it landed. Now it was time to get down to business. There would be no more aimless wandering for the ship during her absence. It was her job to see to it they made it to their destination in all due haste, and only she could navigate the ship to where it needed to go.

As she approached the navigational console, she paused mid-step as her eyes fell upon a stranger who was leaning over her map covered desk. Territorial instincts flared as she advanced upon the him.

"What are you doing at MY station?"

All heads turned to the speaker, then all but the man she had addressed suddenly found things more interesting at their own stations. Such things as coffee stains, neat switches, and the random blinking of lights on consoles that no one knew how to operate, or even what purpose they served.

The man smirked as Aki came next to him. He stood at least a foot taller than her and was pleasantly amused that he towered over the girl by so much. "The captain warned me about you. You must be the little girl that gets lost going to the bathroom. Well, I've been hired to accurately navigate this ship. Apparently the captain feels actually heading directly to his destination instead of drifting around aimlessly for a week before getting there is in his, and the ship's, best interest. Now why don't you go try to find yourself. It should only take about a week."

Every other head remained pointed downward as the bridge crew listened to the conversation continue.

"What's this?" Aki asked.

The man raised his eyebrow at the question. She was pointing at her forehead. "Your bandanna?"

Aki shook her head. "Nope. Get closer."

He leaned in and stared directly at the spot she was pointing. "Your forehead?"

Aki shook her head again. "Get closer."

He did, getting so close that he could see each of the pores on her skin. "I don't know. A pimple?"

Aki drew her head back then brought it forward, crashing her skull into his. The man slumped to the ground, unconscious. "It was you getting knocked out with the 'Aki Crusher'. Some navigator." She went to the console and examined the man's calculations. As she suspected they were way off. The path he plotted to Japan was a terrible one. It would have served the captain right if she had left the would-be navigator at his position. She recalculated the course and gave the new course to the helmsman. "This is where you want to go."

The helmsman examined the course three times to make sure he understood. "This takes us west. Isn't Japan to the east?"

The helmsman panicked as Aki's face twitched. "Excuse me, are you implying that you are the navigator?"

"N...n...no! I'm just a helmsman, ma'am."

"First: don't call me ma'am, I work for a living. Second: since you are the helmsman, it's your job to steer the ship using directions the navigator, that's me by the way, provides for you. Well your navigator has given you directions, shouldn't you follow them?"

The man watched her cross her arms and began tapping her foot, impatiently waiting for the right answer. He agreed with her and began following the zigzag course that had been given to him. Who cared how long it took to go somewhere? All that mattered was getting there alive.

Aki paused before leaving the bridge. "If the guy wakes up tell him he will do nothing but stand next to my station and learn that there is only one navigator on this ship. And if he even breathes hard on my charts I'll come back and really do something he'll regret. Is that understood?"

Everyone nodded their heads.

Aki nodded in approval. "I'm going to meet the captain." As she left the bridge she picked up a nearby boat hook and began whistling to the tune of Chopin's 'Funeral March.'

Silk looked at the descending sun again. It was to the front of the ship, just as she thought. They were heading in the opposite direction of Japan. What were the idiots that ran the ship doing? Time was of the essence since she had to get to Nerima before it was too late. Just as she was about to make her way to the bridge the object of her ire ran from around a corner and nearly bowled her over.

"You're just the man I wanted to see, captain."

"I can't talk to you now! There's some captainy things I need to do!" Captain D'Amore appeared scared as he attempted to run around Silk, but found his way blocked each and every time, the Amazon not about to allow him to leave.

Silk was about to speak up when Aki barreled around the corner, mad as hell. Her first wild swing with the boat hook nearly took off both Silk and D'Amore's heads. Silk quickly got out of the way of the lunatic girl as Aki confronted the captain, weapon at the ready. Years of Amazon training taught her to never get in the way of a crazed woman trying to kill a man. It never paid off.

The captain held up his hands in a desperate, warding manner. "Aki, I have no idea how that horrible person got on the ship and tried to take over your job," he pleaded. "Why don't we do the same thing to this one that we did to the last impostor. We'll throw a party. He'll walk the plank. You can wear the eye-patch and dead parrot on your shoulder. It'll be a great time and I guarantee you'll feel better." He narrowly ducked the swing directed at his head.

"LIAR!" Aki shouted. "You hired him to take my place! You think I'm a lousy navigator!"

"I didn't actually say that." The finger he held up to make the point nearly got taken off with the next swing from the boat hook.

"Well I've got news for you!" Aki raged. "You're a shitty captain! Your idea of doing 'captainy things' is getting drunk and letting everyone else do your dirty work and run the ship! All you know how to do is give screwed up orders and hit on every girl that gets on this piece of crap hulk!"

The captain was offended. "I never hit on the ugly chicks."

He dodged another swing, this one aimed at his crotch.

"You lead us into trouble no matter where we go!" Aki shouted as she swung. "You have offended almost every other seagoing vessel, sailor, and sea animal between here and the Arctic Ocean!" Another swing. "Do you have any idea how many ships would open fire on us if they didn't consider this...thing not worth the effort of sinking?!"

"You're exaggerating." D'Amore defended. "I do not offend people. I am kind and courteous to every ship that we meet."

Aki shook her head in disbelief. "You hooked up all the speakers and radios on the ship and called Madame Lao the 'Slut of the Seven Seas' at every port we've stopped at! Everyone in the Indian Ocean has heard it!"

"She is!" D'Amore shouted as though he had been offended by the mere mention of his rival's name. "That floating bordello of hers is an offense to nature! It should be sent to the bottom of the ocean!"

"You're just jealous because she refused your advances and wouldn't let you sleep with any of the women on board!"

"I would never lower myself to that level of desperation!" D'Amore declared, the muttered something about the 'dyke bitch'.

"Her ship's magical and heavily armed! She could sink us at will!"

"Don't be so sure of that. This ship can take anything that's thrown at it. Just take this guardrail for example." He moved over and placed his hand on it. "It's one of the sturdiest pieces on board this whole vessel. It can stand up to anything!" As he placed his hand on the metal it gave way, allowing D'Amore to stand there with a large piece of guardrail in his hand. "I should have seen that one coming," he muttered as he examined the metal.

"Let's find out if you can see this one coming!" She swung again.

This time the captain dodged and leaped up onto the top of a jutting pipe that served no useful function, getting out of Aki's easy reach. "I just realized something. This isn't about me hiring someone to take your place."

Aki stared at him in disbelief once more. "Of course it is!"

"Nope." He smugly shook his head. "It's about me not hitting on you. Well I'm sorry, Aki. It's not that you aren't attractive, I just don't want to end up in traction like the last guy you romanced."

Silk looked on in horror as Aki stood there, face twitching and remaining silent. She casually discarded her boat hook and went for a nearby anchor. Easily picking it up, she advanced towards D'Amore.

"I WOULD NEVER SLEEP WITH A WALKING PIECE OF SHIT LIKE YOU! NOW DIE!"

D'Amore barely evaded her new weapon and fled to the interior of the ship. Things could have been worse. At least she hadn't begun glowing black. There would have been cause for a panic if that had happened. Even the TWPOS might not be able to stand up to that level of power.

Silk observed the raging Aki pursue D'Amore to the bowels of the ship. Maybe it would be best to wait a couple of days, or maybe a couple of weeks before complaining about the direction the boat was taking. Silk was many things, but suicidal was not one of them.

Ranma 1/2 Presents  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 31

The Storm Builds

All C+C is greatly appreciated.  
You can contact me at sommer

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also given it a home at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

For more information on the Eight Devils of Kimone Icefall has a nice page at  
NinjaScroll

Standard disclaimer:  
All Ranma 1/2 characters are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to. Various cameos are owned by their respective creators as well.

There are a handful of original characters here, if you want to use any of them just ask.

An alternate universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic). The short version. In the beginning, the Saotome's traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel at the far side of the pools. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy!)

Last chapter Perfume finally exerted control over her hunt pack and the Eight Devils of Kimone, along with Herb, razed Mount Phoenix, killing the majority of the population as well as Saffron. Back at home, lives are going on as normally as can be expected when one lives in Nerima...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wow Akane! You're getting bigger!"

Akane turned to Chisa. "What's that supposed to mean?" The two were getting ready for swimming class and in the process of dressing when Chisa made her declaration.

"I mean it looks like you've been working out. Look at how big your arm is compared to mine." Chisa held it up as an example. There was no comparison. "You really need to ease up on that, by the way."

"What are you talking about?" Akane asked, somewhat flustered. "I practice martial arts a lot. I can't help it if I put on some mass." She had been working out with her weights a little more often. Tarou had insisted that she should concentrate on a power game since she liked to use brute force. Refining her techniques to make the best use of her power was the way the training should go.

"That's not what I meant," Chisa said, annoyed. "I'm talking about how you always get defensive about your looks. There's no reason for it. I mean, yeah, there are a lot of other good looking girls around here, like Ai and Shampoo, but you are far from ugly. Especially since you started curling your hair a little, at least on the ends. It really makes you look cute, and I wish I were in half as good a shape as you." She poked at her stomach for emphasis.

"Oh, stop," Akane said, suddenly embarrassed. "You're in good shape."

"I'm in 'normal' shape. Not fat, but not as fit as you either. Lots of girls are jealous of you."

"They are?" That was hard to believe.

"Uh huh. They know you can hold your own against anybody. Guys are attracted to women that can stand on their own two feet. I hear lots of guys talking about how cute you are all the time. If we weren't such good friends I'd be jealous too."

"No they don't," Akane was really furiously blushing now.

"Sure. I mean, they know you're available since you don't want to be engaged to Ranma and don't mind that little tramp going out with him. He doesn't pay the slightest attention to you." Chisa's voice dropped a bit. "I happen to know there's a guy that would love to go out with you, tonight."

Akane moved back in shock. "Not Kunou."

"EWWWW! Of course not!" Chisa had the dignity to look horrified at the suggestion. "It's my brother, Makato. He's a great guy and really nice. He's a year older but I really don't think that's a problem. He talks about you a lot of the time, not that he's obsessive or anything, but he asks how you are and things like that. A lot of girls think he's cute too. So what do you say? Give the guy a chance."

She wondered how to delicately get out of that one. On one hand she didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings. On the other she had no desire to go out with anyone other than...

She corrected the thought to she did not have enough time to see anyone other than Ranma, and it wasn't dating, they just spent time together. Of course explaining it would take too long and raise too many questions. So best to fudge things, sort of. "I am seeing someone, actually. Ranma. I mean Shampoo's brother, Ranma, not Ranma Saotome. But it's a secret so don't tell anyone! You're the only one that knows."

Chisa smiled and slapped her on the back. "I had no idea. He's really cute. Got yourself quite a catch there. How long have the two of you been going out?"

"Just a little while and it isn't serious. We're just starting things out and taking it real slow, so don't get presumptuous about what we're doing."

"That would explain the blush," Chisa smirked.

No way. She wasn't blushing. It had to be the heat or something. "We're not that involved. Now don't tell anyone."

"I wouldn't dream of it. So how does he kiss? With tongue or without?"

It was going to be a long day.

As Akane made her way to catch up to Ranma-chan, she silently thought about her 'revelation'. How deep did her feelings for her fiancé go? Was she simply using him as an excuse to avoid dating, or did she really think something might happen between them? Was the potential there for anything real or would they just tolerate one another long enough to get out of the engagement? The last time he had tried to break it off, when he thought he was a girl, hurt her badly. Way too badly for someone who claimed they didn't care. So maybe it was time to find out for real if it was going to lead to something.

Akane was more than a little happy that Shampoo-kun wasn't present. "Where's Shampoo?"

"Kunou dropped by, Shampoo whacked him before I could, and Miss Hinako gave them both detention. She's going to be a bit late."

Perfect! No chance of interference from the purple-haired bimbo. "There's a chorus show after school I wanted..." All of her sudden her voice tightened up."...to know if you wanted to..." it happened again and her heart was racing. "...ah...that is...ah...I wanted to know if you...ah."

At that point Ranma-chan gave her a light tap to her forehead. "Spit it out."

Anger cut through the problems that had suddenly occurred. "I wanted to know if you want to go with me to it."

"Sure," she shrugged.

"As a guy," Akane added.

Ranma-chan looked curiously at her. "Sounds like your asking me out on a date."

"I AM NOT ASKING YOU OUT ON A DATE!"

That caught the attention of everyone within two miles. All eyes turned towards Akane and Ranma-chan. Almost instantly words of 'Akane's dating Shampoo,' and 'she's just like Ai and Ukyou,' broke out among the spectators.

Akane looked on, horrified. As per her reflex she turned to Ranma-chan with an accusatory glare. Quietly she whispered, "This is all your fault. Go along with what I'm about to say," then started calling out quite loudly. "You've misunderstood! I was asking your BROTHER out, not you!"

"Then you are asking me...errr him in a date," Ranma-chan said.

"I have to," Akane whispered back. "People will think I like girls if we don't go out now."

Ranma-chan sighed. Akane was correct. Gossips around Furinkan really got everything wrong. Some people had her and Shampoo-kun as having spent the night in a love hotel and getting arrested. Others said she was pregnant with his child, as though something like that would happen.

"I'm sure he'd love to, Akane!" Ranma-chan announced to the world.

As soon as they sprung up the words of 'Akane's a lesbian' switched to 'when do you think her and Ranma are going to get hitched?'

One of the windows in the second floor burst open. "What unbelievable words do I hear from the lips of the masses below? Did I hear the words that the beauteous Akane Tendo is once again in the grasp of the Fiend Saotome?!" Without waiting for an answer Kunou went back into the room and curses of 'die, forsaken scum!' were heard, followed by the din of battle. That, in turn, was followed by, 'you delinquents!' and the sound of Miss Hinako unleashing her draining attack.

Akane couldn't help but smile. Shampoo-kun was going to be occupied for a very long time. There would be no interference from him today.

The two went home to get changed. As usual those plans were somewhat delayed. This time it was by the visitor the Tendo Dojo had just received; a visitor searching for one Ranma Saotome.

Kasumi politely greeted the returning students and indicated to Ranma-chan that everyone was expecting her in the dojo. After getting out of Kasumi that it wasn't yet another in the seeming unending string of fiancees, Ranma-chan collected some hot water and changed sexes before meeting the visitor. Upon entering the dojo he and Akane saw a large Caucasian gentleman in his twenties with bib overalls, straw hat, and long brown beard.

"Ranma," Genma began. "Meet our guest."

He introduced himself with a thick German accent. "I am Boris Borising Borisoff. Am master of Amish Martial Arts. Have come to fight Ranma Saotome."

Ranma looked the man over for almost a full minute before responding. "No."

Genma was on him in a flash, the large man attaining a speed usually reserved for meals. "What are you saying, son? You can't back down from a challenge!"

"NO!" Ranma shouted out. "I have had it! In my time here I have fought martial arts skaters, martial arts gymnasts, martial arts mimes, and martial arts basketweavers. Well that all ends today! No more! I absolutely draw the line at Amish martial artists!"

"Don't underestimate Amish martial arts, boy!" Genma warned.

"What the hell can an Amish martial artist do to me, pop?"

In response Ranma saw nothing but a blur suddenly run around him and everything went black. Before he could even react he had his arms pinned to his sides and was hemmed in while he was upright. It was almost as though someone had put him in a tight coffin.

"He'll build a barn around your butt faster than you can blink," Genma told his son through the tiny man-sized barn that was just large enough to contain Ranma.

"Am disappointed," Boris complained. "Was expecting much stronger opponent."

Akane placed her hands on her hips and announced in a loud voice. "If you're looking for a challenge, I'll provide you with one. I'm a martial artist too!"

The man looked Akane over and nodded, impressed. "You would make a good wife," he stated.

"I would?" Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew something was horribly wrong.

"Yes," Boris said. "Your hips look very good for childbirthing. Make many good babies with those hips."

Akane flared blue in rage.

Ranma at last summoned enough chi energy to blast open the tiny barn he had been imprisoned in.

"I'm ready to take you on Boris Badinoff or whatever your name is!"

"It's over, boy," Genma informed him.

Ranma looked around. Sure enough Boris was laying face down in the ground, literally in the ground since his face was buried in it by about five inches. Ranma recognized the battle damage as belonging to only one person.

"How'd Akane do it?"

"It was a most impressive display." Soun explained. "She attacked him quickly and he couldn't do more than defend himself. He never even had a chance, the poor man. She's at long last learning to harness her anger. I congratulate you in your training of her, son."

As much as Ranma was resentful for Akane stealing his thunder and getting his revenge on the foreigner, he was impressed by her handiwork. She really had gotten a lot better, and the amount of time it took for her to defeat her opponent had to have been next to nothing. Silently he wondered how she had improved in such a short amount of time. He didn't think he was training her that fast or that she was learning all that quickly.

As Ranma left he made the mistake of informing Genma and Soun that the two of them were going out. The two fathers pulled 'going out together' party banners and began talking about a possible exchange of rings.

Ranma and Akane left as quickly as they could in avoiding the two men. Once underway they made good time, managing to avoid both martial artists and water. For a change of pace they arrived at the choir session unmolested, in normal health, and without a single cross word said between the two of them. Both silently thanked the kami for the peace.

Since they arrived on time the two got good seats, and Akane talked with several of her classmates. Ranma was a bit annoyed by having to treat people he knew and saw every day as relative strangers, but 'just Ranma' could not demonstrate intimate knowledge of the people he knew so well yet had supposedly never met.

The choir show began without any problems. Even The Director, who was leading the recital, was well behaved and not electrocuting anyone, though he did conduct the show with a cattle prod instead of the normal conductor's wand. As the show progressed Akane finally started to relax. Could she possible have a date with Ranma and not have it broken up by someone or something? It seemed too good to be true, yet nothing was happening. Such peaceful bliss in an otherwise chaotic world was too rare not to be enjoyed. Even Ranma was on his best behavior, and she had thought he did not even like choirs. She turned to Ranma to get his reaction to the whole thing, then learned why he was being so pleasant. He was asleep.

A tight pinch on his arm awakened him. "I'm not sleeping, Miss Hinako!"

A whole auditorium shushed him quite. He shook his head and reoriented himself to the world, managing to stay awake until the end.

The damage had already been done as far as Akane was concerned. She remained silent until the recital was finished, then headed out as quickly as she could and walked in the direction of the dojo.

"Where're we going next?" Ranma asked.

"Home," she replied tersely. "Obviously you are having a miserable time if you're just going to fall asleep on your date."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "No, Akane. It ain't like that at all. It wasn't you, it was the singing. That choir stuff ain't my sort of thing. You should know that by now."

"Then why did you go?"

She was doing it to him again. "Because you wanted to go and I didn't want to spoil your mood."

Akane stared at him curiously. "You're saying you went out of your way for me?"

"I guess so."

This was a new event. Ranma openly admitted he did something he didn't like for her benefit. How exceptionally considerate. It took her several moments to decide how to go about with the new bit of information.

"It's your date too," she said. "We should do something you want to do."

Ranma waved it off. "Nah! You asked me out. You decide."

"I'm deciding that you should choose."

Ranma gave up and tried thinking of where to go and what to do. "An amusement park opened up near here a while back. Want to hit it?"

Even Ranma was taken off guard by the smile Akane gave him. He felt heat rush to his cheeks and gulped. She really did look cute when she smiled. His confidence suddenly took a drop as he began to have a hard time thinking things through. Why did she have to be so confusing?

The two walked off towards the amusement park. No one stalked them. No one picked a fight with them. There was nothing to prevent them from having a good time.

And nothing did.

Shampoo returned home just in time to see the two fathers whooping up a storm. There were only two things that could make them that joyful, and only one of them would make her happy.

"Did the little perverted master die?" she asked.

"No," Genma got out as he continued to laugh. "Akane and Ranma went on a date. Without us encouraging them even. Another drink, Tendo?"

"Of course, Saotome," Soun accepted the offered bottle of saki. He raised it for a toast. "To our two families, united at last!"

"Hear! Hear!" Genma clinked another bottle of his own. "Why don't you join us in celebration, Shampoo?" He turned to see she had already disappeared. His concern as to where the girl had gotten off to lasted only for a moment before he went back to celebrating.

Shampoo had run out of the house, hell following at her side. The lout! The insensitive jerk! The traitorous, manipulative bastard had dumped her yet again for the bitch, Akane. Oh, he was willing to act like he had a good time with Shampoo on their date, but instead of asking her out again, like he had implied he was going to, he went out with HER instead. The brutal, ugly, unattractive, kitchen destroyer that he claimed he didn't even want to be engaged to. What was he doing anyway? Time sharing the two of them? Go out with one and then another? Did he think he was Kunou? If so he was going to find out some very unpleasant facts of life, like no one played with Shampoo's heart and got away with it.

Her anger rapidly began to dissipate. Curse Ranma! She should have been able to maintain her fury for an entire day the way he had gotten her upset, and justifiably so. Shampoo did consider trying to run the two of them down and ruining the date, but even if she could figure out where they were there was a problem. Akane had not tried to ruin her date with Ranma. She did something to make him jealous, but that had not appeared to work, at least Ranma seemed to have a good time with Shampoo that night, but maybe it really had gotten to him. At any rate she would let the two of them have a good time. She could have a good time on her own, and she wasn't going to be low enough to ask Kasumi out just so she could irritate Ranma. Kasumi didn't deserve to be used that way and Ranma probably would just encourage Shampoo.

So she strolled around the streets in a generally bad mood. She was so distracted that she failed to sense the presence of someone stalking her. At least she was unaware until she felt the tap on the back of her neck and her muscles locked up. All muscle control was lost, though consciousness was maintained. Her body, which had already been in forward motion, went crashing into the ground. A pressure point hit. She cursed herself for being so careless and letting her attention wander like it had. Even a three year old could have evaded the attack better. She cursed Ranma as well for the frustration he caused her, distracting her so much that she'd easily fallen into the ambush.

When the attack had come, Shampoo had been walking on a side street that was little more than an alleyway. Once down there she had seen no one and been seen by no one. No sounds emanated forth from the darkened buildings of that narrow avenue. Rescue was a fantasy she was not likely to receive.

Her head was facing slightly to the left in the position she had fallen. All she could see was the bright red and dull gray texture of the building she had fallen next to. Nothing could help her there. She was steeling herself for the worst when an altogether too familiar figure made itself known. Shampoo would have uttered 'Great Grandmother' in shock, but her vocal cords had been affected as well.

Cologne began speaking. "If you promise not to call out for help or scream I'll allow you to talk. Move your eyes up and down if you agree."

She did. Cologne tapped a different spot on the back of Shampoo's neck with her cane. The purple-haired Amazon found she could once more move her jaw.

"I though you could no attack me."

Cologne sighed. "I'm not attacking you. I simply needed you stationary long enough to hear me out. The question now is, will you listen?"

"It not like I have a choice!" Shampoo snarled back.

Cologne suppressed the urge to swat her great granddaughter for taking that tone of voice with her. The extenuating circumstances had forced Shampoo to grow up all too fast and her anger was at least partially justified. "You are wrong. I can speak all I want but you have the choice of simply hearing me and disregarding everything I say, or you can listen and learn why I am here. Now I ask you again, great granddaughter, will you listen to what I have to say?"

Shampoo wondered what kind of a word game her great grandmother was playing at now. She usually only used it at times when she wanted someone to lower their guard, and this situation felt exactly like one of those occasions. Under the circumstances she had little choice and finally agreed.

"Excellent." Cologne's body language reflected her relief. "I am not here to drag you back home. I am going to assist you in whatever way I can in freeing you from this awful curse."

So it was a trap, just like Shampoo expected. "Why do I no believe you?"

Cologne shook her head. Shampoo was going to make things difficult, and she used to be so trusting too. "I mean it, even if you don't believe me. It took me a while, but I have become convinced that you are not meant to be cured or taken back home. That is the only explanation I can come up with. In the last few months I was physically bested in combat by a neophyte child. I've come up with plans that I could only see were flawed after I executed them and they failed, and the few that were good you managed to evade through luck, skill, or a combination of both. I was very desperate for a while there, but after your final encounter with Perfume I suspected there was nothing I could do to bring you back. You have no idea how frustrating that is to me. I haven't been thwarted that many times in the entire last hundred years."

Shampoo could hear the disappointment in her great grandmother's voice, but she still hadn't gotten to the point of the conversation.

Cologne continued. "Now I just wanted to let you to know if you need help I will do what I can to assist you.

Shampoo felt her heart soar. She wanted to believe her. She wanted everything to go back to the way things were with her relationship with her great grandmother. There had been so much love there and she desperately wanted any connection with her family. It was a piece of her that had been missing for such a long time. But she just couldn't. There was too much risk involved if Cologne was lying. "I can no do that, great grandmother. I am sorry."

For the first time that she could remember, Shampoo saw the woman that had all but raised her in the last six years of her life, the matriarch of the Joketsuzoku and the best fighter of her generation, actually look old and tired. Despite that Cologne managed a smile

"Were our positions reversed I would feel the same way. My offer still holds though, and I promise that you no longer have a need to fear me. I will be at the Black Rose's Floral Shoppe should you have need of me." She touched the back of Shampoo's neck allowing muscle control to return once more.

As Cologne prepared to hop off on her staff Shampoo spoke as she returned to her feet. "Thank you for the offer, great grandmother."

Cologne visibly brightened at that. "I almost forgot to ask, how are you and the boy getting along?" The matriarch was amused at the blush that rose to Shampoo's cheeks.

"I not know what you mean, great grandmother."

"Of course not," Cologne was amused even more. Only the most oblivious would miss the blush, the looking down at the ground, the scuffing of the feet. "Has he challenged you for your hand yet?"

Shampoo stopped scuffing her feet. "No. He can't. His stupid father promised him to one of the Tendo girls. He can't do anything until he gets out of it."

Cologne nodded in understanding. "He is an outsider, you know. All you need to do is get him to fight you once. I'm sure you can find a way to let him win."

Shampoo furiously shook her head. "I not going to throw a fight for a stupid boy!"

"I see. Does he at least know how you feel about him?"

Shampoo was about to answer one way when she remembered where Ranma was and with whom. "Yes! He's an arrogant jerk that play with girls hearts and I no care about him!" And with that declaration she stormed off, much to Cologne's surprise.

"The boy better watch himself," Cologne muttered. "Hell really hath no fury like an Amazon scorned." Her long dead husband could have attested to that. It certainly had been a tumultuous courtship that spanned two years and three continents, not that the outcome had ever been in doubt. She just hoped Shampoo was up to the task of winning someone like Ranma. Parts of the boy reminded her of her husband, and that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

Mousse was looking over all the denizens in the floral shop once again, trimming as he went along. He really had missed all if them. The return of both him and Kodachi to the greenhouse was for the best. It felt more like a home than the Kunou estate ever did. Even Kodachi agreed. There was no more having to deal with the presence of the Kodachi's twisted father or her equally thick skulled brother. It was time for some peacefulness now. He went through the house trimming the gardenias, the rose bushes, the old ghoul who was sitting on her staff...

*WHAM*

Mousse found himself staring up at the glass ceiling. There was a Cologne that needed trimming? That wasn't right. The familiar figure came next to him and hovered over his prone form.

"Aren't you going to welcome me back? I am living here once again, you know."

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kasumi smiled as she looked in on the two fathers. They had managed to drink themselves into unconsciousness in celebration of the 'impending marriage' of Akane and Ranma. It was nice to see them so happy. Now that she had cleaned up around them she was at a loss of what to do next. She didn't want to make too much noise and rouse the passed out duo, so that left very few things that she could do. She didn't want to go shopping without Shampoo. The mood to watch television was all wrong. She could always let Birdy out and watch him hunt, but she really didn't feel like doing that either. For the first time in recent memory she had nothing to do. Then it hit her like the proverbial ton of bricks.

She stopped to consider it for a few minutes. It was silly. She hadn't done it in years and would be terribly out of practice. An injury could even result and then who would cook and clean? Well, Shampoo could, but Kasumi didn't want to inconvenience her friend that way. Yet something deep within her almost demanded it. So she went to the laundry room and grabbed one of Akane's freshly washed gis. Akane's was the only one in the house that would come close to fitting her, even if it was a little short. She changed into the gi, noticing as she put it on that the chest was a little tight and it was a little loose at the hips. Once the belt fastened it in place she proceeded to the dojo.

Kasumi had cleaned it up earlier in the day and knew it was in immaculate shape. She hesitated at the doorway, a feeling that this was not the place for her and she should leave, but she resisted the urge at the last second and entered. As soon as she set foot in the dojo memories assailed her. This was very peculiar since she had entered the dojo thousands of times, but she could not remember being affected in this way. It took her a moment to understand what the difference was. She had not entered the dojo with the intention of practicing, it was always simply to clean. Now, for the first time in a decade, she was preparing to take to the wooden floor and practice her martial arts.

The memories continued to wash over her as she recalled the past. It was true that she had basically been Mommy's little girl, but she enjoyed spending time with her father and he always paid such close attention to her when she practiced. It was true that she was never as excited about them as she was about cooking, but it was fun in its own way. And it was easy too, much easier than cooking. Her father was always amazed when she would learn a kata so quickly. Sometimes after doing it only once or twice. Her father always encouraged her and said she was going to become a great martial artist someday. Little Kasumi wouldn't have minded that, just so long as she could do other things like her mother did. Then her mother died and everything fell apart. Martial arts were forgotten as the family did everything it could to stay together.

Now she found herself in the middle of the dojo, ready to use what she had learned so long ago once again. She began by stretching out. Pulled muscles were often a martial artist's own worst enemy. Those could lay one low where a dozen opponents would fail, at least that was what her father had told her. Once she had completed the warm up to her satisfaction, she stood ready to begin with the first kata her father had taught her. It was the most basic pattern, and thus the ideal one to start with. She effortlessly executed it and flowed into the second. It really was like falling off a bicycle: one never forgot how to do it.

She went directly from the second to the third, then repeated again from the beginning. It was all so easy for her. She went through all the ones her father taught her from so many years ago three times before she started to feel tired, much to her disappointment. It felt so good to move through those old patterns. The last two sets were executed to perfection, she was certain. Pride filled her as she knew her mastery of the art had not disappeared with the passing of the years. Despite her fatigue she wanted very much to continue. Then she remembered what could be done to relieve the exhaustion. It was such a basic thing that her grandmother had taught her that she could scarcely believe she had forgotten it. It took but a moment of concentration to allow her chi to fill her and release the weariness from the muscles that threatened to cut things short. New energy filled her as she picked up where she left off. Once she completed the set a fourth time she went to one of the ones her mother had taught her. Up through the stages she speeded through from the first basic one to the advanced fiftieth, and last set she learned from her mother before she was killed.

Now it was time to utilize the ones Kasumi had developed on her own. Even the basic techniques were three times as complex as what she had ever been taught by her mother. She had so wanted to master the art, and developing effective techniques always brought her such joy, even if there were very few that could master them. Sweat plastered her gi to her body as she called upon her chi to once more assist her in performing the middle level ones. Stone foot techniques were mixed with rapid mongoose hand thrusts in what would be a devastating combination of attacks to even the highly trained.

Once that was completed it was time to employ the amagurikan. Ranma and Shampoo would have probably been jealous of her, just like the elders were. Ranma could generate approximately one hundred and thirty strikes per second when in female form. Kasumi could more than double that without calling upon her chi to increase the speed. And she could overcome one of the drawbacks to the amagurikan by hitting multiple points on the body while keeping up the speed. When one simply struck the same the same spot repeatedly it was much easier to defend against it.

Several sets of the amagurikan were completed before she came up with another set of techniques to use. Several levels of the elemental schools were at her command. Of course she could have focused her studies on but one of the schools and become a grandmistress of it, but she desired diversity in her techniques. She was already a grandmistress of the chi. That, combined with her other talents, made up for any lack of dominance in any one of the elemental schools.

Her body flowed like liquid in elegant grace as she employed some of the water school techniques. After going through several patterns of that she switched to the opposite school, employing some of the far more aggressive techniques of the fire school. Her ability to effortlessly shift from one school to the other had proven the undoing of more than one opponent. The use of earth techniques was kept to a minimum. Many of them produced far too much noise and would disturb the neighbors. The techniques of air were the last, the defensive nature of the school suited her temperament, though there were certainly attacks in it was well. To demonstrate, she used the wind fist in a series of blows ending with a quick pivot behind her and knocking an exact eight inch diameter hole in one of the walls. Her precision was still nearly perfect.

Deciding that was enough, Kasumi retired from the dojo and went to wash up. It was wonderful to know that all she had learned from her mother...no, that wasn't quite right. She learned all of her martial arts from her father. It was odd that she would think her mother had taught her anything involving fighting. She was a peaceful woman that knew nothing of the art of combat. In any case it was good that she had not forgotten any of the techniques, and her mood was so much better now. She idly grasped the broken piece of the signet ring, a golden chain looped through it, that she now kept around her neck.

Hunger made its presence known by the gnawing sensation in her stomach. After she cleaned up she would have to grab something to eat. There was a whole watermelon in the refrigerator that might do nicely. As hungry as she was she could probably devour the whole thing.

Nabiki entered the house in a near blind rage. Tarou had now begun taking a cut of the action that was larger than hers. 'After all, we wouldn't want to leave any doubts as to who was in charge, now would we?' or so the scum had told her. Well, she would get at least some of it back. Bull balls were a delicacy in some countries and she could get a nice price for his.

Taking a deep breath Nabiki calmed herself down. Ryonami was moving on to some other interviews. Kaori's had been most informative, but they were going to need more than that to knock Tarou off his high horse. Kami bless Ryonami. If it wasn't for her Nabiki wasn't sure what she would do.

Nabiki entered the kitchen to grab a light snack; she was too upset at the moment to eat anything more than that. The first thing she noticed as she was about to enter it was the sound of someone clearly stuffing their face. Odds were it was Genma. Ranma was usually a lot quieter when pigging out. Upon entering she was shocked to see the loud noises had been coming from Kasumi, who was sitting at the kitchen table laying into a watermelon, that had been cut in half, like there was no tomorrow. Nabiki's jaw practically dropped in shock. Kasumi was eating faster than either of the Saotomes ever did.

"Kasumi!" she finally got out. "What are you doing?!"

Kasumi broke of her assault on the produce long enough to answer. "I was suddenly very hungry and had a craving for some watermelon."

"Some watermelon?!" Nabiki almost shouted. "You've eaten the whole thing!" She indicated the half Kasumi had just finished and the other half which sat to the right of her, the green rounded end pointing towards Nabiki.

"Oh no!" Kasumi declared as she saw Nabiki's eyes lock on the half that was next to Kasumi. "I didn't touch that one. That's Birdy's."

Hearing his name, Birdy crawled into view from the inside of his half of the watermelon and scowled at Nabiki.

"I'm certain if you want some, Birdy wouldn't mind sharing."

Nabiki recoiled in disgust. "I would never touch food that foul little thing came into contact with." As the last word of condemnation left her mouth she suddenly found herself under assault by a machine gun-like stream of watermelon seeds that were being shot out from Birdy's mouth.

"BIRDY! Stop that at once!" Kasumi chastised the miniature pterodactyl, who immediately broke off the assault and appeared shamefaced.

Off to the side, Nabiki smirked at Birdy. At last Kasumi had taken her side over the pet's.

"That's better," Kasumi's voice softened. "You were getting seeds all over the floor."

Nabiki facefaulted.

Ryonami continued walking around, searching for the next interviewee. The last one she had, with Kaori, had gone well, though for some odd reason the girl insisted she had never heard the name of Ryu Kumon, despite the fact she had been married to him for several months. Silently she gave up that line of thought. Kaori's selective amnesia was irrelevant to the task at hand: locating Ryu Kumon.

As Ryonami made her way through a park her mind replayed the events of the last few days. Everything was falling apart and it was all Tarou's fault. Originally, when Nabiki had been the one in charge, her 'organization' had been simple. There were basically three types of people that worked with and for Nabiki. Those that enjoyed it and were basically Nabiki's friends. You could always tell those ones because they would hang around together and basically had a good time. Those that were in it for the money and didn't care about anything else. Very few of them hung around together. Then there were the individuals Nabiki 'recruited' for their talents. Recruitment usually involved getting some kind of leverage against them so they would at least work part-time for her and employ those 'talents' for her benefit. Those ones disliked Nabiki intensely and rarely hung around any of the others.

With the advent of Tarou things had changed, and not for the better. He initially intimidated his way into the upper ranks and took control. It probably would not have lasted if it hadn't been for the fact he began courting the favors of the greedy ones and those that were being blackmailed. The former didn't give a damn about who ran things just so long as they got paid. The latter sucked up to Tarou so they could get a piece of Nabiki. Now everything was falling apart. Nabiki's real friends were slowly quitting one by one and leaving nothing but the creeps and scumbags behind.

Ryonami was almost out of the park when a hand fell on her shoulder. She turned to see the hand belonged to one Michi Yoshinari, one of the worst scumbags around.

"Hi, Ryo."

His greeting failed to warm her heart. "What do you want?"

"Hey! That's no way to talk to someone who's trying to help you out."

Ryonami noticed the 'more smarmy than usual' look he was giving her. He only did that when he thought he knew something others didn't. By the kami, how she hated that look . "And just how do you plan to help me out?" She noticed the look got even worse. If she was a more physical person she would have simply smacked him.

"I couldn't help but notice you've been visiting a lot of people. People that don't owe us money, inform us of stuff, or that have any connection to our outfit. Now I asked myself 'why would a cute girl like Ryonami be visiting all these people?'"

Ryonami felt bile rise to her throat from the suggestion she would be desperate enough to want attention from a guy like him. "What did you come up with?"

He held up his finger indicating she should wait a moment before he would tell her. After his 'dramatic pause' he explained. "It took me a while but I figured out what it was. Y'see, I remember you were real tight with that bitch, Nabiki, when you first came here."

Ryonami felt fear and anger at the same time. Anger that he dared call her sempai a bitch. Fear that he had somehow discovered the truth.

"Now I know you had a falling out with her, but I'm willing to bet she told you something only you would know. Like maybe a second list of people that owe her money."

Ryonami could barely conceal her relief.

Michi continued. "Now we both know Tarou would never approve of you freelancing on his turf, so the way I see it you're in a whole world of trouble if this gets out."

Ryonami felt the fear return. Tarou would indeed flatten her if he thought she was working some people on the side. But if she told him the truth he would hurt her even worse. "What do you want?" she finally asked.

"A cut of the action. Say about fifty percent for my silence."

Ryonami had no choice but to agree, though Michi was going to be disappointed when he learned there was no money involved. She'd probably have to throw him a little bit to keep him occupied.

Once their business was concluded Ryonami headed back to her original plan. As she left the park her luck took a turn for the better: she caught sight of Ryu. He was attracting a bit of attention with the company he was keeping, specifically that of a huge razorback.

Cautiously she approached the youth and what she figured was his pet. Her ears perked up as she got closer and heard him talking to the pig. What was even weirder was that he was apologizing to it for taking it on a date at a waterslide amusement park. She hoped the guy wasn't a total headcase, though curiously it almost seemed the pig understood what he was saying by responding with grunts and squeals.

"Excuse me." She caught Ryu's attention. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ryonami Nagata." She smiled as warmly as she could at Ryu. He was a rather handsome fellow. As it was she missed the scowl the razorback leveled at that smile. Ryonami did become aware of its displeasure when it moved itself between her and Ryu.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" Ryonami shouted as close to half a ton of razorback pushed her to the side.

"Akari!" Ryu snapped. "Just because our date got ruined is no reason to take your anger out on this girl!" His voice softened somewhat. "I'll make it up to you. We'll go out on a date later."

Ryonami was amazed at what was unmistakably squeals of delight from the razorback. A light pain filled her head as she realized that the handsome Ryu was a pervert into bestiality. It would be best if she got the information quickly, before he thought she looked like a woodchuck or something. "I wanted to know if you have any information on someone named Pantyhose Tarou."

A scowl developed on Ryu's features as he began telling everything he knew about Pantyhose to Ryonami, who made certain to record the conversation. It was even more damning evidence to add to the total she now had. If only the validity of the story could be maintained by keeping Ryu's fetish under wraps. Should his tastes become public knowledge, his credibility would be shot to hell.

Akane found it difficult to make her way down the street with all the prizes Ranma had won for her. There were more stuffed animals than she could carry. In fact, she had Ranma carry a lot of them as well. Too bad she had to give up the pink cat though. Ranma practically went into his neko-ken at the mere sight of it, and it had been so cute too. She even had a name picked out for it: C-Chan.

But if that was the only thing that had gone wrong then the rest of the night had been perfect. It went beyond simply not being accosted by a new enemy or one of Ranma's old ones. It went beyond no imbeciles, like Kunou, trying to hit on her. There had been no cutting or sarcastic remarks out of Ranma. No jibes or hurtful things. He was every inch the pleasant date, and there was no blow to the head to trigger his courteousness this time (at least none that she knew of.)

They had ridden practically all of the rides, Akane hiding behind Ranma when they went in the haunted house. She would have sworn he was going to say something caustic the first time she cowered behind him, but he said nothing more than, "you're with me. So you ain't got anything to worry about." There was more than a little arrogance in the proclamation, but rather than feel angry about his protective behavior she found herself...well not swooning exactly, but something sort of similar.

Later the duo went to grab a shake at one of the dining places on the park grounds. Akane gave in to the suggestion of the counterperson that they get the 'two for one' Shake. At first Ranma was delighted at the idea of getting two shakes for one, then learned that it was 'two straws for one' in a pink heart shaped glass. Naturally 'Mr. Romance' missed out on the fact it was the sort of thing that only couples were supposed to get, but somehow Akane could not quite bring herself to explain it to him, and instead convinced the two of them to share the drink. To her amazement when Ranma left his hand on the table she had to suppress the urge to grab it and hold it in hers. Several times actually.

After Ranma won a couple dozen of the fluffy animals for her, the two of them at last departed and headed home. They were no more than halfway there when Ranma's greatest enemy, water, made an appearance as a storm cloud came out of nowhere and began a torrential downpour. The duo had just enough time to make it under a tiny open air park shelter before the rain actually hit. They placed their stuffed animals on the ground towards the back of the shelter and watched the rain fall down.

The wind drove the rain hard causing the two to move closer in an effort to avoid the increasingly close droplets. Even as they moved further away from the edge Ranma put his arm around her shoulder. She looked at his face as he scowled at the rain, it was obvious that the motion was one of protection rather than one of affection. Despite that Akane moved her body closer to his, almost snuggling against his chest. Her movement did manage to snare his attention, and she caught out of the corner of her eye his blush as she made herself more comfortable in his embrace.

It was then the rain passed as quickly as it came, much to her disappointment, and the two continued on their way back home. The rest of the journey went without incident. In many ways that made the trip a little discouraging, she didn't want it to end. But end it did as the two arrived outside the gates of the dojo. Ranma stopped just outside the door and told Akane to wait for a moment.

"Why?" she asked.

"I'm just trying to think of where they'll be."

"Who?"

"You know," Ranma suddenly managed to bring out a banner identical to the one the fathers had used earlier. The one loudly proclaiming the duo's date.

"Oh. Good question." Akane smiled at that. "I bet they'll be waiting inside the house. Nabiki will be the bushes next to the house with a camera waiting to get everything on tape."

"Let's play a little game with them."

Akane couldn't help but notice the mischievous gleam Ranma got in his eye. "What kind of a game?"

"Let's give them something to talk about."

Akane listened to the plan. It was wicked, yet somehow appropriate, considering what the fathers had done to them in the past.

Their guesses had been on the mark as the two fathers hid beneath an open window near the front door when Akane and Ranma approached. Nabiki watched everything from the bushes, camera set on record. All were anxious as the couple advanced to the house.

The two stopped on the porch, then held one another by the waist as they looked dreamily in each one's eyes.

"Ranma, thank you for the most wonderful night of my life."

"I feel the same way," he answered.

Akane slipped out of his embrace and turned away, pain filling her voice as she spoke. "There's something you should know about me before we allow our relationship to go on any longer."

Ranma's acting lessons came to the forefront without the benefit of electricity. "I don't care what it is Akane. Nothing you could do would ever hurt me."

"When you hear what I have to say, you may change your mind."

Ranma moved to hold Akane from behind. "Tell me."

"I," she gave a dramatic pause. "I'm not a virgin."

Ranma remained where he was while continuing to look sympathetic. "Who?"

"It was," she made her voice catch as she pretended to remove a tear from her eye. "It was Ryouga."

Ranma paused for a moment. "It doesn't matter to me. I care about you for who you are, not what you've done. I'm glad you told me who you slept with." He moved his body closer to her.

She pulled out of the embrace. "Oh, he wasn't the only one I slept with."

Ranma drew back himself. "Who else was there?"

"There was also Kunou."

Ranma looked even more lovingly to her. "I meant what I said. It doesn't matter to me. Thank you for you hones-"

"I'm not finished yet," she interrupted. "There was also Tarou."

"I see. Wel-"

"And Mousse."

"Okay."

"And Tsubasa."

"I like a girl with a little experience."

"And Mikado."

"Make that a lot of experience."

"And Ukyou."

"Everyone needs a little variation in their diet."

"While Ai helped out."

"The more the merrier."

Akane stared at him tearfully. "How can you be so forgiving?"

"It's easy." Ranma said with a smile. "I've slept with all those people too."

Nabiki had enough time to let the camera slip from her suddenly limp hands while the front door exploded and a demon-headed Soun and chi enhanced forty foot version of Genma confronted the duo.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Soun-demon raged.

"ANSWER ME NOW, BOY!" Genma shouted in agreement.

Ranma and Akane remained unusually calm in the face of such power, going so far as to look disdainfully at the fathers. Ranma spoke first. "So, you were eavesdropping on a private conversation. You're just as bad as that peeping old goat that taught you."

"Really, Dad. It serves you right. If you two would stop butting in we'd get along better, but instead we always step on you two underfoot and it messes everything up."

Both men shrunk down to their normal sizes as the truth began to settle in. Soun spoke first for the duo. "You mean everything you said was a lie?"

Ranma and Akane nodded in agreement.

"I knew it all the time, boy. You're too much of a man among men to do such things." Thank you, Genma silently said to kami above.

Very loud cursing came from Nabiki's direction as she complained out loud about her gullibility. Soun and Genma went inside, followed by Ranma and then Akane a step behind him. She and Ranma said good night as the two went to bed. Akane lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. She had started the day wondering what her fiancé meant to her and if there was any chance of something real going on between them. After today she finally had her answer. The only thing left now was how he felt on the matter. Not an easy question, but one which was going to be answered soon if Akane had anything to say about it.

Ukyou listened to the sound of water running as she wondered how things had come to this point. The day had started innocently enough. She and Ai had arrived at school, together, without Kyoko and Ryouga tagging along. During the entire jaunt over to the school Ai had behaved like a perfectly normal human being, a rare thing in Nerima, to be sure. There was no glomping, no attempts at seduction, nothing but a friendly conversation with one another. Something Ukyou had not done with another girl, ever. Upon arriving at the school Ai's pleasant demeanor was brought short as Megumi, Kaede, and Ayeka, dressed in their cheerleader combat gear, lined up expectantly, as though waiting for Ai. Kaede took the forward spot and spoke first with her carefully rehearsed speech.

"Ai. We have come to a decision. It's time for new leadership for the cheerleader squad. You have done nothing for the last few months except mope and let us go soft. Now it is time for someone else to assume power. It is time for me to take over as head cheerleader and guide us to victory over all of our foes!"

Ukyou saw a familiar look return to Ai's eyes.

"Give me your baton," Ai ordered Kaede, hand out and at the ready.

Kaede looked confusedly at her, then shrugged and handed Ai the baton.

*WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM*

"Is there anyone else that wishes to usurp my role as leader?" Ai offered as she twisted her foot on Kaede's unconscious form.

Megumi and Ayeka simply shook their heads. At last their leader was back.

"I'm glad you see things my way, but Kaede was correct. I have been lax in my duties as the head cheerleader around here. You guys have had it too easy for a while. I'll make up for that starting right now! RUN AROUND THE SCHOOL FORTY TIMES AND PRAY THAT IT'S FAST ENOUGH FOR ME OR YOU'LL DO IT AGAIN! THAT MEANS YOU TOO, KYOKO!"

Kyoko had just arrived at the school grounds, arm locked with Ryouga, and dropped her jaw in shock. Instincts took over as she moved to obey, grabbing the prone form of Kaede as she ran.

"It's good to be the queen," Ai said as she admired the running girls. She allowed herself the luxury of command for only a few moments before turning to Ukyou. "I'm going to correct something that should have been done a long time ago."

"What's that?" Ukyou asked. Ai was unpredictable it was enough to make her head swim.

Ai just gave her a blithe little smile and turned to the rest of the Furinkan population. Using one of her martial arts cheerleader abilities, she increased the volume of her voice until it sounded as clamorous as a loudspeaker.

"ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS! THERE IS A RUMOR GOING AROUND SCHOOL THAT UKYOU AND I ARE A COUPLE! WE ARE NOT NOW NOR EVER WERE! IF I CATCH ANYONE SPREADING SUCH VICIOUS RUMORS I WILL DO SOMETHING UNPLEASANT TO THEM."

A din rose as the students began talking amongst themselves. Most of them in disbelief at the proclamation.

Ai sadly shook her head and decided to make an example out of one of them, throwing Kaede's baton at the back of a student's head and knocking him out. "NOW DOES EVERYONE GET IT?!"

A chorus of agreement met her declaration this time.

"Thanks, Ai." Ukyou was genuinely pleased at her dispelling the rumors like that. Things would hopefully get a little easier now with the rumors somewhat tempered.

Ai gave a dynamic little smile at that. "I have a little favor to ask. How would you like to have a sleep over?"

Ukyou's mood shifted as she began sweating bullets. "Ai, just because I'm not rejecting you out of hand doesn't mean I'm interested in that sort of thing."

"That's not why I'm doing it," she said in a reassuring tone. "I haven't felt comfortable enough to have someone sleep over in a long time, but you're different. Look, I'll promise not to hit on you or try to seduce you at all. We can just spend time together as friends."

Ukyou still had her doubts. "It still seems weird."

"Girls have sleep-overs all the time." As Ai finished saying those words the realization dawned on her. "You've never been to a sleep-over before, have you?"

Ukyou looked down in the ground in embarrassment. "I never really had an opportunity to. It's not like I could sleep over at anyone's house without my little secret coming out."

Ai was practically bubbling with joy. "You'll love it! It'll be great. If you're too uncomfortable doing it at my place we can use yours."

Having the home field advantage reassured Ukyou a little. She supposed that if Ai got out of hand she could always throw her out. Besides, it just might prove fun after all. She agreed and was once again warmed by the genuine smile Ai gave her. This time she smiled just as warmly back and watched in amusement as Ai appeared a little stunned at the reaction.

Ai came over after business hours bearing a bag full of sleep-over equipment in hand. The two of them talked pleasantly about school and various other matters as they settled in. Ukyou felt more and more at ease until it started to get late and they decided to hit the sack, though she once again made Ai promise not to hit on her since they were going to be sharing the same bed. Ai had agreed to take the floor, but Ukyou didn't feel comfortable making her sleep on the futon on the floor. Ukyou showered first and let Ai go second, Ukyou silently thanking that Ai had not suggested that the two of them share it together.

Ryouga made his way back into Uk-Chan's in a really annoyed mood. It all started when Ai had first come over, much to the lost one's irritation, and proceeded to make herself at home, much to his further irritation. He really had intended to stay the entire time, but Kyoko showed up right after work and dragged him to her place. She claimed they had to decide what introduction music to play for their upcoming match against Flex and the Brute. For someone that claimed she didn't even like wrestling she certainly was taking the rematch seriously. All of his protests were for naught as she slowly dragged him all the way to her home and played music over her mother's karioke machine until they settled on a tune to herald their entrance to the ring. He settled on 'Wherever I May Roam,' by Metallica, which seemed oddly appropriate, for some reason. After that Ryouga quickly excused himself, over Kyoko's protests, and changed to a bat to find his way home.

After knocking over the steaming kettle Ukyou left laying around for him he felt rather grubby and elected to grab a quick shower before bed. He unerringly made his way up the stairs and made a beeline for the shower. Just as he was about to open the door it did so on its own. Surprised at the move he looked up to see Ai, obviously just having finished a shower of her own, wearing a towel wrapped around her hair and nothing else. It was with a great deal of pride that Ryouga lost consciousness. He realized that he lasted an entire one point five seconds longer than the last time saw Ai naked before passing out.

Ai simply looked down contemptuously at his prone form and walked over him, making certain her foot landed on his midsection, while avoiding the copious amount of blood from his nose, and muttered about what a stupid buffoon he was. She continued drying her hair as she entered Ukyou's bedroom.

"Your boarder passed out on the floor. Want me to dispose of the body?"

Ukyou gave Ai an irritated stare. "If you had put some clothes on that wouldn't have happened!"

Ai looked offended. "I always sleep in the nude."

Ukyou couldn't decide if she was telling the truth or trying to hit on her despite the promise. "Not if you're sleeping here you're not! Get something on. I think there's some extra things of Ryouga's that will fit you." Ukyou started to get up when Ai rushed over to stop her.

"Don't go through all that inconvenience for me. I'll just grab this."

Ai snatched a long shirt that from a nearby basket of newly cleaned clothes and threw it on, the shirt barely managing to reach the bottom of her rear end. Ukyou felt a pang of jealousy once more as the girl before her filled out the nightshirt in ways that she could only dream of doing.

Ai turned on the television and plopped herself down next to Ukyou on the bed. Now was a time of tension for the okonomiyaki chef. She knew Ai was interested in her and she was willingly allowing the cheerleader to sit next to her. Sleep next to her, actually. Ukyou believed Ai when she claimed she wasn't going to hit on her, but it was still an uncomfortable situation.

As Ukyou sat there she looked over to Ai and saw something that wasn't there before. It was her face. Somehow it had changed from the usual, and admittedly sensuous, appearance it had borne. Instead there was a sort of feeling of relaxation that her features now had.

Ai became aware of the scrutiny she was now receiving. "What is it?"

Ukyou shook her head. "You may think I'm crazy, but you look a little different."

Ai primped her hair a little at that. "Good different or bad different."

"Good different. You look a lot happier. I guess that's the best word for it."

"Of course I'm happier. I'm with you."

Ukyou was taken aback from the girlish smile Ai gave at that point. This was no seductress before her, just an ordinary girl that was having a good time. Things were a little disconcerting. Ai's current appearance was just so different from the facade she presented. And as time passed it became more and more obvious that was just what it was, a facade. What was before her now was the 'real' Ai, and as near as Ukyou could tell, it was someone that hadn't put in an appearance in a long time.

It was hard to believe she didn't notice the difficulties Ai had before. There was such a difference between how she presented herself to everyone else and how she acted around Ukyou. The barrier Ai had erected to shield herself from the world was let down for one person only: Ukyou, and that feeling was more than a little overwhelming. Much of Ukyou's nervousness passed as she now understood what Ai had meant when she spoke of having power over someone else. But in Ukyou, any desire for control was easily overridden by a desire to protect the girl who had willingly opened herself to her.

"I promise I won't ever hurt you." Ukyou said sincerely.

Ai maintained her smile. "I know. If it's any consolation, I won't hurt you either. Now relax! We're supposed to be having fun."

"Right." This time Ukyou relaxed a bit more and watched a little television while still looking at Ai from out of the corner of her eye. The whole situation was just so weird for her. There was nothing to compare it to and the strangeness of the new situation left her feeling more than a little uneasy.

The uneasiness disappeared as Ai went for something in her bag. Ukyou observed Ai bring out some tissues and began placing them between her toes. Once she was finished she pulled out a bottle of bright red nail polish and prepared to do her toenails. Right before she started with the first one she once again noticed the attention she was receiving.

"What is it?" Ai asked.

Ukyou snapped out of her reverie. "Nothing."

"You don't give a look like that and say its nothing. Haven't you ever painted your toenails before?"

Ukyou hesitated a moment before answering sheepishly. "No. Not really."

The reaction was almost instantaneous as Ai gave a happy squeal and took the tissue from between her toes. She repositioned herself at the foot of the bed and patted her hand right next to Ukyou's covered legs. "Give me your feet," Ai practically commanded.

"No."

"C'mon. It's long past time for you to do something like this."

Ukyou refused again. "Forget it! I don't want to."

Ai placed her hands on her hips and gave Ukyou a cross expression. "You always go around having doubts about your femininity and say you feel like a guy. Well this is going to go a long way to curing that, my dear. This is practically the one thing that will make you feel like a woman."

Ukyou laughed nervously at that. It was a total fabrication. It had to be. "No way. How can something as silly as painting your toenails make you feel more like a woman?"

"Give me your feet and find out for yourself."

The stare Ai was giving her made her feel even more uncomfortable than the idea of doing her toenails. Ukyou decided to give in to the girl. After all, if Ai was wrong the worst thing that would happen was Ukyou would feel a little silly and remove it.

Slowly she brought her feet out and tentatively surrendered them to Ai, hoping the whole thing wasn't a plot because the blonde had a foot fetish or something. Once she extended them fully Ai placed them in her lap and began putting tissue between the toes. "So you don't get paint on everything before it dries," Ai explained.

Ai began with Ukyou's little toe as she began talking to the chef, making certain her eyes never left Ukyou's feet. "You see. Painting one's toenails is a sign of being a woman. There is no way any normal guys are going to go for that sort of thing, and the few men that do generally want to feel more like a woman, if you know what I mean." she paused upon completing the first toe, winked at Ukyou, then went to the next one.

"With men you're lucky if they even clean their toes, but us women, well now that's a different story. Looks are everything, and we know it. I realize its a societal idea or some such, but things like painting your toenails have been around for so long, they're now identified as a sort of behavior that belongs exclusively to US women." The emphasis on the word was intentional. Sometimes Ai was afraid her dear chef thought of her as being more like a man because of her tastes. "Now, when you do this sort of thing you are shouting out to the world you are a woman and damn proud of it."

"I find that hard to believe," Ukyou responded. "It sounds to me like you're stretching things a bit."

Ai finished the next toe and continued. "I might be overstating it, but its basically true. When you do this sort of thing it somehow makes you feel like a woman. I can't explain it. It's just a feeling. You have beautiful feet, by the way."

"Thanks." Ukyou felt a little uneasy about the compliment. She was still on pins and needles when Ai complimented her, uncertain of the motivation behind the words. She shifted her foot a little bit from the nervousness.

"Damn!" Ai grumbled. "Don't move like that! It made me mess up." She got out another tissue and wiped some of the polish from Ukyou's toe.

"Sorry," Even Ukyou was surprised at the discomfort she felt at Ai's reprimand. In spite of her disbelief at the 'femininity' involved with the whole matter, she found herself wanting Ai to continue with the polishing.

Ai finished cleaning off Ukyou's toe and completed the nail before going on. "I don't like mine, myself. It's the one part of me I think I would change." Ai concentrated on making certain she didn't get any more of the polish on Ukyou.

"I think your feet look fine," Ukyou said.

Ai paused for a moment to smile at the compliment. "Starting to check me out, eh?"

"I am not!"

Ai sighed as Ukyou shifted again. It was a good thing she had waited before continuing. "I'm just kidding. Lighten up." Once she was certain Ukyou was mollified she continued upon 'the quest.' Ukyou was going to get her toenails painted if it took all night. The fourth one was done and she moved to the last one on the foot. Almost halfway done.

"Like I was saying. My feet are just a little big and make my ankles look way too skinny, but there really isn't a way to make ankles appear big, is there?"

"I guess not." Ukyou watched as Ai completed the last toe and prepared to move on to the next. She began to wiggle her toes, causing Ai to grab her foot and force it motionless.

"You're going to mess it up. Let it dry first." Ai warned.

Ukyou settled down again and just looked at her foot. The whole thing was a pointless exercise. She had no idea why she would get worked up about it. Though it was sort of neat.

Ai began the next foot. "Are you really that uncertain of your femininity?"

Ukyou felt a bit reserved about the direction the conversation had suddenly taken. It was a hard choice of whether or not to open up to Ai the way the cheerleader had opened up to her, but had Ukyou not wanted someone to talk to? Just because Ryouga did not meet the requirements, as she had hoped he would, was no reason to shut Ai out.

Ukyou took a deep breath and began talking. "It's just that I spent so much time acting like a guy sometimes I guess I don't feel like a girl. I know I am, but I look in the mirror and have to wonder. I don't dress like a girl. Don't act much like one. I just act..."

"Like yourself?" Ai offered as she finished yet another toe.

Ukyou considered that. "Well, I guess. There's all of that and a little problem I have with..." she trailed off. Maybe she wouldn't reveal everything after all.

"...guys." Ai finished for her.

Ukyou was shocked. There was no way Ai could have figured it out. "How'd you know?"

"Because there isn't a woman alive that doesn't have them. You aren't the only one."

"You seem to be pretty easy going around them," Ukyou said. "You know how to play them and wrap them around your finger so they'll do anything you want."

Ai stopped painting and looked up at her in shock, then began laughing.

"What's so damned funny!" Ukyou had a feeling the amusement was at her expense.

"Oh, my dear, sweet Ukyou. Are you trying to use me as a stick to measure by?" Ai could barely contain her laughter. "That's terrible. I hardly have a perfect record. There were some guys that rejected my advances, like Ranma, and some women too."

"But most of them were at your beck and call."

Ai considered that. "Maybe, but then again what did I ever do once I got them? My interests were hedonistic, and the way I went about going after my prey hardly left any doubts about my goals. The way I went about getting dates was not the sort of thing you do to build a lasting relationship, unless you want to look for cheap thrills. Is that what you want?" She went back to painting toenails as she waited for Ukyou's response.

Ukyou thought about it. "No. I want something that will last."

"So do I, now." She noticed Ukyou blush at that and went on before she made the chef uncomfortable again. "I can help you act more 'girlish,' if you want." Ai completed the toenail and went to the next. Almost done.

"But I don't think that's the sort of thing for me." Ukyou protested. "I can't picture myself wearing dresses and acting like that little tart, Kyoko."

"You can do all of that, but it won't make you feel like a girl." Ai informed her.

"It won't?" Ukyou asked curiously.

"Nope." Ai looked up. "It would just be like you said: an act. Being a woman doesn't involve dressing like those little adorable darlings you see acting all cute and cheery. It comes from here." Ai leaned forward and gently pressed a finger above Ukyou's left breast, not in a move of seduction, just a simple gesture to her heart. She then sat back and returned to painting. "Clichéd, I know, but true nonetheless. That's what determines how you feel."

The longer the conversation continued the more fascinated Ukyou became of Ai. This was a side she didn't even suspect existed. "So what do I do?"

"Nothing."

Ukyou would have facefaulted were it not for the fact she didn't want to interrupt Ai once more. "If I don't do anything then how will I feel more feminine?"

Ai gave a sigh and paused once more. She was never going to get done at this rate. "You are already feminine. Every bit of you is one hundred percent woman. Anyone that says otherwise is, as you would put it, a 'jackass'."

"That's nice of you to say but-"

"No buts!" Ai went back to work as she continued talking. She was going to take a risk here. If Ukyou didn't answer correctly her heart was going to break. "Do you think I'm feminine?"

"Of course," Ukyou said. "I only wish I was half as good-looking as you."

"Thank you." Ai was glad her head was turned downward as she blushed. Imagine, her acting embarrassed. If only Ukyou meant what she said. "But what I meant was do I act like a girl?"

"Aside from coming on to girls and being violent, yes."

Ai scowled as she finished another nail. A mild anger started to build in her at the suggestion. As long as Ukyou didn't try to order her around she was going to be able to maintain it, but if Ukyou didn't there was a genuine fear that she was going to become submissive again and lose the anger. If there was a time she was going to prove to herself that willingly letting her guard down wasn't a mistake, now was it.

She allowed the faintest bit of irritation in her voice. "Just because I like girls does not make me unfeminine. I am a woman no matter how I behave. That's what I'm trying to tell you but you aren't listening. I don't have to wear a dress and make-up to be a woman. I can wear baggy sweats and tomorrow morning you're going to see just how skanky I can look when I wake up in the morning. But through it all I am a woman."

Ukyou was slightly taken aback by the anger in Ai's voice. Apparently she had hit a nerve. "I didn't mean it quite the way it sounded."

"Yes, you did." And it hurt, but Ai wasn't going to admit to that. Ukyou was apologetic, not angry with her, and that made her feel good. "I am not afraid of what I am. I may like having sex with women, but that doesn't make me any less of a woman. Surely you don't think you need a man to fulfill that part of you. That's a myth, one I would be more than happy to dispel if I hadn't already promised not to try that with you. Tonight anyway." She returned to the painting, finishing and moving on to the last one.

Ukyou felt a little shaken by the conversation. She had to admit, most of her ideas of how women should behave had been through the eyes of men. First her father, then through the other boys at her school. In all her years of being raised by men or acting like one, she never really had a female role model, or even any real female friends. At last she was getting the female perspective of things. Not that she should be taking everything Ai said as fact since the cheerleader could be wrong, but a lot of what she said felt right somehow. "You seem to have a pretty firm grasp on what makes a woman what she is."

"Of course," Ai said. "You think I haven't been accused of that sort of thing? With my preferences? I had to think about it and it took me a long while, but I think I can state a pretty good case. And at any rate I don't believe what they say. I know in my heart that am a woman and damn proud of it. And I know that you are one too. After all, who would understand better than someone that knows from personal experience the grass is not greener on the other side?"

Ukyou found herself laughing at the comparison. Ai joined in, but continued painting.

Ukyou finally stopped. "You've given me a lot to think about. Thank you, Ai."

Ai felt her heartbeat pick up speed at the compliment. This was now more than simply allowing Ukyou control over her. It must have been love. Only that could make one feel so panicked at feeling so good. "Thank you for listening."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Ai continued looking down at her work and avoided eye contact. She wasn't certain if she could control herself. "I'm not exactly considered genius material. Not too many people pay attention to what a 'sex kitten' like myself would have to say. Not that I talk like this to anyone."

"Hey! Listening is one of my specialties. I hear people talk all day while I cook." Ukyou found herself enjoying Ai's presence more and more. "I'll always listen to what you have to say."

Ai hoped when she sighed it wasn't audible. The reactions she was having to the little things Ukyou was doing to her were unbelievable. She gained some control of her emotions before answering. "Well, I'll always be willing to paint your toenails whenever you want to have them done. And speaking of which I am done. Take a look." Ai released Ukyou's feet and allowed her to examine them.

Ukyou stared at them in fascination. Just staring at those toes and their unusual color did make her feel something inside. Somehow something as simple, and basically pointless, as that made her feel more confident in herself. Maybe she could take what Ai said to heart.

Ai caught the smile Ukyou had as she looked at her toes. Maybe what she said was sinking in. The very idea that her Ukyou was less than a consummate woman really was ludicrous. Nothing less than perfection could make Ai fall so hard so fast.

She returned to lying next to Ukyou while the two of them watched television until the nails dried. Once that was done, Ai got up and shut off the television and crawled next to Ukyou. Just as she was about to relax she took a chance and leaned over to kiss her sweet chef lightly on the cheek.

"Good night," she said lightning quick as she rolled over away from Ukyou. She waited several moments for the chef to get angry and throw her out, but the feared response never came. Rather, Ukyou returned the good night and rolled in the opposite direction of Ai. It didn't matter at all to Ai that they did nothing else that night. Surely that was a sign of love, that just sleeping next to someone was enough to put your soul at ease and your heart to soar.

As the evening wore on Ai discovered there were just two drawbacks to sleeping in the same bed with Ukyou. The first was that she was a kicker. Her feet may have been attractive, but they were ice cold when they struck Ai's shins. The second was she mumbled a lot in her sleep, awakening Ai twice, not that she minded. It gave her a chance to look at her beloved's face as she slept. And on the bright side at one point Ukyou's hand groped Ai's chest. Now that was good feeling, even if it didn't remain there for very long. Even though Ai didn't get very much sleep, it was still the most restful night of her life.

Ukyou woke up the next morning to a bright and shiny Ai announcing it was time to get up. She barely had time to rub her eyes and sit up when Ai plopped down a tray full of breakfast for her. Immediately Ukyou felt guilty.

"You didn't have to do all of this."

"I know," Ai smiled happily as she plopped herself down next to Ukyou. "I wanted to. I'm an early morning person."

"I'm not," Ukyou grumbled, but the scent of the food was going a long way to waking her up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I just had to get some croissants from that French whore next door. She may be a total bitch, but she knows how to make great pastries." Ai said, smiling expectantly as Ukyou began to devour the food. It felt wonderful serving her woman. "She still thinks we're sleeping together. I didn't have the time to correct her."

"Mmm." Ukyou mumbled as she ate some of the croissants. "Don't worry about it. She's so deluded she still thinks I tried to come on to her. You're really a good cook." She took a bite into some of the eggs that Ai had prepared.

"Nowhere near as good as you," Ai stated, still grinning widely. "I'm afraid Hibiki passed out again."

Ukyou stopped eating. "What happened this time?"

"I was bent over the stove when he came in."

"So."

Ai indicated the short nightshirt she still wore. "I wasn't wearing underwear. You know, he's probably seen me naked more often than you have." She batted her eyelashes at that. "I can fix that if you like."

Ukyou was about to say something when Ai stopped her. "It was just a joke. I meant what I said about not hitting on you. I'm going to clean up and grab a shower. If you want you can wash my back. I promise to keep my hands to myself."

Ukyou politely passed on that. Ai was certainly pleasant, and the night was fun, but there was just no way she was going to risk taking a shower with her. Things needed to be taken one step at a time, and that was more like a leap into the lion's den. No matter how their relationship turned out, it needed to go slowly, and she knew for a fact she wasn't ready to go anywhere near that far with anyone, man or woman.

Ukyou was about to finish her food when she looked down at her toenails and smiled. The color really was pretty, but next time she might use purple. That was a good color, and maybe she would let Ai help then too. "I guess I really am feminine. Heh."

The next day:  
Mount Phoenix  
China.

The Shogun of the Dark strode through the now empty halls of Mount Phoenix. The Devils had emptied out the caverns of all the bodies, but the scent of death still clung to the air. It wasn't as though he minded such things; he had been responsible for the deaths of thousands over the centuries. What were a few hundred more? Most of the deaths were through others, like the Devils, but he would sully his own hands every now and then. The odds were that this was only the beginning. In the birth of a new age there would always be those that that did not survive the change. It would just be a matter of how many would fall. Thousands? Millions? A billion perhaps? There were so many more people now than ever before. That was both a good and bad thing.

Gemma caught up to the Shogun as the cowled man made his way further up into the mountain, heading ever so slowly to the top.

"The bodies?" the Shogun asked.

"Stored inside the main cavern at the bottom. It won't be long before the scent of decay fills this entire mountain. I could have Zakura cremate them. She seems to enjoy using napalm."

The Shogun shook his head. "Leave them where they are and as they are. They still may serve a purpose. Will the smell bother you?"

Gemma snorted derisively at that. "I was entombed alive on the bottom of the ocean for several centuries. The odor of feces is pleasant to me now."

The Shogun switched topics. "The children?"

"Sealed in a cave with a hole just large enough to allow enough air in. Benisato has also commanded two hundred of her snakes to stand guard. Those children will go nowhere."

The Shogun continued to show interest in their welfare. "You are taking care of them, aren't you? They're being fed regularly and not being allowed to wallow in their excrement, are they?"

Gemma was amazed at the concern the Shogun showed, not that he allowed the surprise to show. The Shogun never demonstrated the least bit of caring towards anything save his plans. "Of course, my lord. May I ask a question?"

"You may."

"Why did you spare some of the children?"

The Shogun paused in his walk. "I require a sacrifice. I'd rather have a young healthy child then a more able-bodied older person that would do something foolishly heroic, like try to kill themselves or attack me."

Gemma should have known. The Shogun had a heart of ice, just like him.

"What of Herb and his army?" the Shogun asked.

"He reassured me they will be in position by this time tomorrow."

"Excellent."

It was near the top of the mountain, in the last large cavern, that the Shogun stopped before a huge stone wall and waited expectantly. "Can you see it?" he asked of his companion.

Gemma's eyes scanned the cavern, trying to see what the Shogun was talking about. The only thing that stood out was a huge twenty foot diameter hole near where the duo had stopped. Gemma went to the edge and gazed downward. The bottom was lost in the darkness below as a faint wind drifted up, producing a hollow noise that indicated just how deep the pit went.

"There is something alluring about the abyss," Gemma mumbled as he stared into the inky black depths.

"There is an attunement between it and us," the Shogun informed him. "It matches the dark pits of our souls. Not just ours, but all of humanity. Men like us can admit to ourselves the reason for our attraction, but most would deny it." The Shogun turned from the hole. "Come, Gemma. Let us provide humanity with what they truly want. Let us give them an abyss that all may gaze into."

The Shogun moved to the stone wall which they had originally stopped at. With a mere wave of his hand the rock shifted and flowed away, like liquid, and left behind two huge ornate golden doors, each reaching thirty feet high and towards the ceiling.

"It's been undiscovered for over four millennia. Even if someone had stumbled upon it they still would never have had the chance to reveal it to anyone else. Gemma," he turned to the large man, "Open the doors."

Gemma moved to obey. The moment his hand settled upon the door he felt a surge of magical energy flow into him, shooting him with enough pain to kill a dozen ordinary men and sent him hurtling into the far wall over fifty feet away. His bones broke on impact as he was embedded in the wall.

It took close to eight seconds for the damage to heal.

While Gemma peeled himself out of the wall the Shogun remained staring at the doors in fascination. "The wards are still intact. Excellent."

Gemma kept his commentary to himself. Being used as a guinea pig was beneath him, but the Shogun got irritated very easily.

Several intricate gestures were made by the Shogun before the door. Within moments Gemma saw a flash of light and the doors soundlessly opened. A motion of the hand indicated Gemma should follow. Both men made their way down a small yet long stone corridor and to a large cave nearly a hundred feet wide and at least twenty feet tall. For all the elaborate decoration of the doors, the room was the exact opposite. There was nothing in it but rough stone hewn from the rock.

The reaction the Shogun displayed was the exact opposite of what Gemma expected. The sound of awe in his voice was the first time the leader of the Devils ever heard such emotion from his master.

"It is just as I remember it. All is here. Soon the final stages will be complete." He turned to Gemma. "This is the one place in the world where the spell can be cast. It was here that I first cast it. And it is here that it shall be cast again. I will require the blood we have stored up here. The patterns I will have to make must be perfect and I can afford no interruptions. But first it is time to use some of my true power."

Gemma watched as the Shogun's hands glowed blue and he gestured to the air. A nimbus of blue energy formed around the Shogun's head and moved outward, growing with each passing second. It moved past, and through, Gemma's head with no noticeable side effects. Likewise as it moved outward it went through the walls as though they didn't exist. After a minute the Shogun spoke once more.

"There. Now I will be aware of the presence of any sentient creature within a twenty mile radius. I will alert you to their presence, but it will fall to you to deal with them. All of my concentration and power must be focused in this room and what I have to do in the upcoming weeks." His voice deepened as he conveyed the importance of what was about to happen. "I will be extremely vulnerable at this time. You must keep all away from this chamber and from disturbing my work. Otherwise the spell will fail, and I do not believe I can afford to wait another five thousand years for this opportunity to come again. Get me my blood, Gemma. There is work for me to do."

Gemma bowed before leaving. So it was all coming true. The end of the months long quest was on the horizon.

Soon.

The Musk Fortress:  
China:

"What do you think is wrong with Herb?"

Mint looked towards Lime while he played with the rounded piece of metal at the end of his arm. He hated blasted thing, but at least it covered the stump where his hand used to be. Why on earth did the big man think Mint knew any more than him? Herb wasn't sharing much with anyone nowadays. He even left the fortress without telling anyone why a few nights ago and returned looking the worse for wear. Actually, Herb had left and returned as a girl. It had been weeks since anyone had seen the prince of the Musk in anything other than his cursed form.

The hour was getting late and the army that had been left outside was growing impatient. Herb had hired another five hundred mercenaries to bolster the already large army he had built up over the last three years. But mercenaries didn't come cheap, and the royal accountants informed Herb that he could hire them for no more than two weeks before the coffers would run dry. Surprisingly Herb did not seem to care, claiming that money would become irrelevant within one week of work.

Now Herb had ordered the troops to wait for him to come out and address them. That was four hours ago and many of them were growing faint under the searing heat if they had to remain in their bulky dragonstyle armor under the sun much longer. Both Lime and Mint decided enough time had passed to see if there was something wrong with Herb. The duo headed to the last place they had seen him. The throne room.

They arrived before the closed twin bronze doors and noticed two of Herb's bodyguards present and positioned on each side of the door. As the two went to open the doors the guards blocked the entry with crossed halberds.

"What do you two think you're doing?" Lime bellowed.

"Our orders are specific," one of the guards spoke up. "No one is allowed to enter."

Lime smiled at that. "I'm sure what Herb meant to say was, 'no one is allowed to enter except Lime'."

"And Mint," Mint quickly added.

The other one spoke up. "No one is allowed to enter. No one includes you."

"But we're family," Lime protested.

"He said no one."

"He trusts us."

"No one."

"I took care of his pet lizard for years." Lime pointed out.

Both guards looked at Lime in confusion. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Lime shook his head sadly at the guards, they really were quite stupid. It was a testament to the quality of help nowadays. "Haven't you heard of the saying, 'if a man takes care of your pets, then that man can be trusted with your life'?"

Both guards shook their heads no.

Lime cracked his knuckles. "I see now. You two are impostor guards. You just lied to me."

Both guard's jaws nearly hit the floor. "What are you talking about?!" the first one shouted.

"We didn't lie to you. Neither one of us has heard that phrase before," the other one joined in.

"And so you lie again. You see, I said that phrase right before I asked you that question, yet both of you claimed you had never heard it before. That means you just lied to me. And if you lied to us about something like that, you're probably lying to us about other things."

"That was a good one, Lime." Mint applauded his partners deductive reasoning.

Lime smiled at the compliment and continued. "I bet you don't want us in the throne room for insidious reasons. I'm going in and you can't stop me!"

Lime was about to force his way to the doors when Mint stopped him. "Wait! It's rude to enter without knocking first."

"Good point," Lime agreed. "But there's no knocker on the door."

"I'm sure we can improvise something," Mint reassured him.

*KNOCK*

*KNOCK*

There was no answer, so Lime opened the doors, discarding the two guards whose skulls he used to knock on the door. Lime began to wonder if Herb was really hiring quality thugs. Those two so-called guards crumpled under just the slightest bit of force.

Both of the members of the Musk entered the darkened room to see there was no Herb present. Just as they were about to call out his name, two red eyes appeared in the darkness and a voice spoke from off to the right.

"Hello, you two! What brings you to my lair?"

Lime and Mint drew back as the owner of the two red eyes moved into the light. "What are you?" Mint gasped.

"Don't you recognize your old leader. Shame on you."

Mint stared more closely. "Herb? Is that you?"

"Yes. I've undergone a few changes lately. It's one of the reasons why you haven't seen me in my 'real' form in some time. But the last of them occurred today. Now what you see before you is the true nature of the next emperor of China. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Lime and Mint covered their ears as they were nearly deafened by the loud blast of sound that came from Herb's laughs. If he did it much harder, Herb was going to bring the roof down.

Herb stopped in his bellows and turned towards his friends. "Get me some cold water. There's something I want to test."

Mint was gone and back in a flash, bearing a water kettle in his good hand. Herb took the kettle, concentrated for a moment, then threw the water on himself. There was no change.

"Excellent! It is as I suspected!" Herb bellowed. "I can prevent the change if I concentrate. Now, get me some more cold water."

Mint repeated everything. This time when Herb used the water his new form changed to that of the girl the duo recognized.

"I'd just as soon not let the world know of the changes I've undergone. Now we can..." Herb-chan trailed off as Mint and Lime began poking at her breasts.

"They feel the same," Mint said.

"Yep. It's nice to know some things don't change. Isn't that righ- "

Lime didn't get a chance to finish as he ended up driven into a wall with his partner. Herb-chan donned a set of her traditional dragonscale armor and cape, finishing as the duo dug themselves out of the wall.

"Time to greet the troops." Herb-chan smiled as she led her cohorts to the main balcony that overlooked the main courtyard. She felt a rush as she saw the group of two thousand plus men at her command. And they only represented the beginning.

Herb-chan stood atop the balcony so that all could witness her imperial majesty. "It is a time of greatness for all of you! This is the dawn of a new age, and you are going to help usher it in!"

"Who are you?!" A voice from the crowd shouted.

"I am your leader, Emperor Herb!"

Another voice spoke up. "I thought we were serving a guy!"

A third shouted out as well. "I don't take orders from no woman!"

Herb-chan pointed a finger and casually loosed a bright blue beam of energy at the speaker, not even bothering to call out the name of the attack. All of the flesh of the man was burned off in less than two seconds, leaving only a bleach white skeleton. "Now you take orders from no one, she called out to the bones. "Does anyone else wish to register a complaint?"

There were no takers. Having her mood broken, Herb-chan simply elected to order the troops to set forth to the positions the Shogun of the Dark ordered her to take. She could practically feel the billion or so of her countrymen calling out her name in ecstasy. Soon now.

Very soon.

Two days later:  
Joketsuzoku, China

Li Fhall waited yet another minute for her husband to speak to her. He was already coming close to making her late.

"Be careful," he warned yet again for the fourth time.

"This is a simple little reconnaissance mission I'm leading. There's nothing to worry about. We aren't even supposed to have contact with those Musk bastards. We're just going to quietly look over Mount Phoenix and if there is anything even remotely peculiar we're going to get out of here. Personally, I think the child is simply addled."

"I still think I should go," her husband said for the fourth time.

Li laughed at that. "In that clunky armor you wear? We might as well bring loudspeakers and hand out pamphlets about where we are. Besides," she poked at his stomach. "You've put on more than a few pounds since your prime."

He glanced self consciously at his stomach.

Li tried to lighten things a little. "I'm traveling with ten of my best sisters, or at least the most quiet. We'll be in and out before you know it."

"I suppose. It's just that I have a bad feeling that I'm never going to see you again."

Li shook her head at that. "You are such a worrier. Here. She grabbed his hand and embraced it in her own. "I swear to you I will return within the next five days." She heard several other members of her party call out for her. Everyone was anxious to leave.

"You promise?" he said, maintaining the grip.

"I swear, Death itself won't stop me."

Mount Phoenix:

It was three nights later when Gemma received the Shogun's mental command. There were eleven intruders within the twenty mile perimeter. Yurimaru was given command of Tessai and Shujima. Silent death and brute force along with a modicum of intelligence. The fools deserved to die once more if they should fail.

It was four hours later when the trio returned, Tessai bearing a dead body over his shoulder. Gemma had been concerned something had happened to them since they had taken far too long. Something had occurred. Shujima had a huge gash along his real arm and Yurimaru was bleeding from a cut on his cheek.

"These ones actually put up a fight," Tessai commented.

"That red-haired one cut me good!" Shujima complained as he indicated the body of the woman draped over Tessai.

Yurimaru waved off Shujima. "They were highly skilled indeed, but no match for us. We got all eleven of them. I believe they are part of the Amazon tribe that Herb seems to have so much respect for," Yurimaru said dryly. "How did he put it? Ah, yes, 'I will raze their pitiful village to the ground for the atrocities committed against my people'."

Gemma nodded in agreement, much to Yurimaru's delight.

"Send the body back with the usual message and let Herb know he screwed up. Tell him to expect trouble from them in the future and to watch the Amazons much more closely. I don't want any more breaches of security like this." Gemma thought a moment longer. "We'll use the Musk's army for leverage. Here's what you'll have her say..."

Shujima listened intently, memorizing it word for word. It was precise, yet to the point, and almost certain to keep the Amazons distracted until they were irrelevant. He left with the body, intent on delivering the message by the next day.

Joketsuzoku:

River stood anxiously on guard at one of the borders of the village. Kar Wong had said she was only going to take a minute to relieve herself, which had been ten minutes ago. River would have been worried save for the fact she had spotted Kar's boyfriend, Yun, pass by only moments before and give an odd hand signal to her. Those two were something else. River would never have stood for such a lax in duty save for the fact this was one of the few times the two could meet. Their families were bitter rivals and there was a special hatred between the duo's mothers. If either one had caught wind of the rendezvous their children were having it would probably ignite a blood feud just like the one in that video of that Japanese play she had seen when she was last in Chuige Gauage, the one with the really cute male lead in it. It took her a moment to remember the name of that play, 'Romano and Juliard.'

She was remembering the handsome features of the lead when the red-haired woman came into sight, walking slowly yet steadily towards the village. Recognition dawned on River immediately as pulled out her broadsword.

"KAR! Get your ass over here now. Something's wrong! Li Fhall's returning alone and she's walking funny!"

River saw Kar emerge from some bushes and move at top speed while yelling to Yun to get some help. Kar arrived at River's side within seconds, spiked bucklers at the ready.

Kar watched as Li approached the two of them. "You're right. Her movements are way too stiff and jerky. It's almost like she was a marionette."

Both warriors stood at the ready as Li approached, stopping within ten feet of them. It wasn't until a moment later that the elder Talcum arrived, that Li began to speak.

"The Musk now control Mount Phoenix," she announced in a quiet voice. "If you dare to trespass in our territory again, our legions will crush you beneath their heels. This is the only warning you will receive."

With her declaration finished the dead body of Li Fhall, controlled by Shujima from the shadows, fell over, at last allowed to rest in peace. Li had kept her word. Not even death had stopped her from returning to her husband and her home.

China:  
The Scars of Blood:

Drakosh the Enchanter stumbled into the crypt, his hand desperately trying to keep his entrails in his body. The pink-haired bitch had cut him deeply with her naginta, practically disemboweled him. And now he was dying, at the hands of an Amazon no less. Oh, the indignity of it all. He was one of the greatest mages the Cult of the Serpent Men ever had, but all it took was one lucky warrior to end his life. Or so it would if she had not erred. He was now at the doorstep of the goal he had been after. His remaining men could hold the girl just long enough for him to recover the artifact. Once he donned it, the power would flow into him and he would destroy those pitiful girls for daring to interfere with his plans. All he needed to do was find it.

As he stumbled around in search of the object he thought back to the events of the past few days. It really was foolish. He had assumed the presence of the Amazons meant they were there to stop him, but ironically they had been unaware of the cult. The group would have gone by, never knowing how close Drakosh and his men were if he had not attacked them in the hopes of wiping them out. But he had failed, not one of the Amazons had been killed and he had lost all of his men.

His thoughts were interrupted as he spotted it at last, sitting in the middle of the floor on a stone pedestal. He staggered to the middle of the room, trailing blood the entire way as his vision began to go dark. He would not die like some melodramatic movie villain just inches from his goal. He would make it. His force of will was all that kept him conscious as he summoned every erg of strength he had to make it to the stone pedestal that sat like some finger, beckoning him ever onward. At last he stumbled next to it, resting his forehead against the cold gray stone. His free hand fumbled for the key to unlock the mechanism and deactivate the magical traps. Then it would be his.

He inserted the key and heard nothing. His vision began to go dark again as the stone did not move one inch. He examined the locking mechanism more closely.

No! It could not be! He moved his hand to the piece of stone that covered the object he so desperately wanted. It moved easily despite the millennium old hinges it rested on and allowed him to see inside.

Perfume heard the scream of denial from within the interior of the crypt as she dispatched the last swordsman. Most of the men serving the Cult were mediocre at best, though one or two had proven to be difficult to kill. But for having such a reputation among the history of the Amazons she had expected better. Of course perhaps not having any actual serpent men present helped things a lot.

Turning quickly to the sound, she rushed as fast as she could to the inside of the chamber. Allowing that foolish mage to escape was not an option. He had almost killed her and he was going to pay. She followed the trail of dark red blood, now understanding that her blow had cut very deep, to the main chamber in the center of the crypt. There she saw the fallen body of Drakosh, the pool of blood beneath him growing, next to the stone pedestal. As Perfume entered the room she saw five of her Amazon sisters had caught up and were looking for more opponents to kill.

"I got the last of them," she informed the others, "Where's Julep?"

"She said the whole place smelled wrong and left. Tablet thought the place was full of old germs and stayed outside with the others as well." Shi Fan said.

Perfume said she understood and went deeper into the room. Why had Drakoth been so determined to reach this chamber? He was dying and had to know it. There was no logical reason to fight so hard just to die in a crypt. There had to be something more. Perhaps the secret lay in the stone pedestal in the middle of the room.

Perfume examined Drakoth's body, making certain it was dead, then examined the pedestal. Blood covered it in certain spots, no doubt where the mage had touched it. A closer examination revealed a key in a locking mechanism and a little door in the pedestal that had been covering something. As she examined the door and looked inside she spotted nothing. An examination of Drakoth had produced nothing either, which meant whatever he had been looking for was not there. Perfume gave a closer inspection of the door and produced several runes on the stone surface.

Runes were beyond her knowledge. "Can anyone read old runes."

Rei Za stepped forward. "Elder Shou Ya made me study them when I was younger. I think I still remember how to read them." She squatted next to the series of marks and spent close to half an hour thinking out loud as to what they runes could mean. Right at the twenty minute mark everyone saw Rei Za go pale.

She got up with a wild look on her eye. "We have to leave," she hissed. "NOW!"

Perfume grabbed her by the shoulders, trying to calm her down. The others in the room had begun to finger their weapons, the girl's fright triggering their own.

Once Perfume thought she had Rei Za calmed down enough to answer she began grilling her. "What do they say?"

Rei Za gulped loudly as she tried to bring her fear under control long enough to answer. "The runes identify this place as a tomb holding a great evil. A tomb that was made by the Amazons."

Everyone looked at each other in disbelief. They were hundreds of miles farther than the influence of the Amazons had ever reached, even in their greatest days.

"What does it contain?" Cabinet asked.

"It contains the most horrible thing ever made. Now I know what those wide furrows in the earth are outside. Those ones that stretch for nearly a mile and don't have anything growing in them."

"What are they? Soap asked.

"They are the last remnant of the greatest battle the mightiest of our warriors ever engaged in. The battle in which she fought the most unholiest of foes ever to walk the face of the earth."

Realization began to dawn on Perfume as she spoke in growing horror. "You mean those grooves outside are the- "

" -Scars of Blood," Rei Za finished. "Yes. It is where Hu Chiang fought her greatest battle. The marks on the earth a testament to the power that was released here. Even after over a thousand years the land still bears the scars of that fight."

"Then that means this is his tomb?" Foam asked fearfully.

"Of course not!" Rei Za said. "His body was destroyed, but not his source of power. It was entombed here."

Perfume felt her blood chill as she looked at the empty pedestal. It had been hidden there, there was no doubt about it. But now it was gone. And Drakoth had not taken it. There was only one way out of the room and Perfume would have noticed anyone passing her by when she got there. "We leave this evil place. Now!"

All the Amazons rushed out in fear, not one ashamed of their actions. One didn't fight with legends. Perfume collected the others that remained outside and ordered them to run as fast as they could until the tomb was left behind. Once she was away from the place and could thing clearly she planned things out.

Perfume sent one of the girls back to the village while the rest of the hunt pack continued on its mission. There was no telling how long ago the item had been missing, though the dust on the floor of that room indicated whoever took it had to have been gone for several years. Wherever the item was, it was probably not an immediate danger. Just something for all to watch out for. It was common knowledge that Hu Chiang had fought her singular most dangerous opponent at this place. Legend had it the Blood Weeper was an abomination that desired to kill every human being it came into contact with and that his power increased with every life it took. He made such a menace of himself Hu Chiang actually hunted him down and the two fought in several battles, the last of which formed the Scars of Blood. In the end Hu Chiang had destroyed the Blood Weeper's body, but not the mask he wore. Legend had it that was the source of his unholy power and that it was buried near the final battleground. Now the mask of the Blood Weeper was gone, and the gods only knew what that meant.

That was not what was important now. There was still a mission to complete, and the Cult of the Serpent Men had delayed Perfume and her pack long enough for Silk to do what had to be done. There would be practically no risk in going to Japan now. Shampoo had to have been long gone, and perhaps that was going to buy Shampoo enough time to get a cure before the hunt pack ran her to ground. Perfume gave the order to move out, the tomb was left behind, but not forgotten.

Epilogue

Shampoo-kun practically felt his back breaking under the weight of the groceries he was now carrying. It wouldn't have been so bad if the fat man next to him was doing his part of the job.

"You know, you could help out, Pop!"

"I am, boy." He bit into the apple he was carrying. How dare the Amazon imply he wasn't helping out. Each item Genma ate made Shampoo-kun's burden lighter.

"Don't call me boy!" Shampoo-kun said as the groceries threatened to fall over again. The only reason he didn't simply toss everything to the ground was that it was all being done for Kasumi's benefit. She was busy preparing a delicate dish and needed to watch everything as it cooked. When Genma found out some additional ingredients were needed, he had volunteered the Amazon for the job. Shampoo-kun had managed to drag the fat man along with him. At least Genma wasn't on his butt getting fatter. He was on his feet doing it.

Shampoo-kun passed a woman as he spoke once again to his companion. "This kind of heavy, Pop."

Genma shrugged the complaint off as he chomped into the apple again. "Just think of it as training, boy."

The sound of something hitting the ground behind Shampoo-kun caught his attention. He turned to see an attractive older woman, about in her mid-thirties, staring wide eyed at both he and Genma. The item that she had dropped appeared to be a long, thin object wrapped in some kind of cloth. Shampoo-kun turned his head slightly and was surprised to see Genma with a similar look of shock on his face.

At last the strange woman spoke up. "It is you, isn't it Genma?"

The most Genma could get out was, "N...n...n...n..."

The woman continued on, oblivious to his reaction. "And he called you Pop. That means he's..."

Shampoo-kun looked on, horribly confused.

"...RANMA!"

Shampoo-kun found himself in a near backbreaking embrace by the now crying woman, the bags falling to the ground. He looked confusedly over at Genma, who finally managed to complete his own word.

"Nodoka."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Madame Lao and Ryonami are from 'A Very Scary Thought' and were created by James Robert Bader.

Special Thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
James Robert Bader  
Bloodblade  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	32. The Insufferable Lightness of Mother

Prologue

“This way, Col. Yamaguchi.”

Col. Yamaguchi followed the woman through the double doors and up a flight of stairs. It was only his second time at the young ESPer Seeker Division of the new branch of the JSDF. Only recently had some of the quiet elements in the government begun to take the idea of psychic powers seriously. Several billion yen had been poured into the project, mainly into this particular branch, the one that sought out young ESPers and studied them. Once the studies were completed the next step would be training of the young children, then employing them in different fields of the armed forces and law enforcement. 

But all of that was for the distant future. At present his visit to the branch was due to the call he had received from the middle-aged woman before him, Dr. Junji. She was in charge of raising and studying the youngsters and was reputed to be a low level psychic as well. She was the one that had alerted him to the fact that apparently all thirty of the children had been having nightmares, and that they might be connected in some way. That alone was worth paying a visit and investigating. 

They drew to a halt outside the double doors leading to the room with all the children. The doctor placed one hand upon the swinging door, cracking it about an inch before turning to the colonel. “I told each of them to draw a picture of what they dreamed. They should be finished soon.”

Upon entering the colonel saw twenty children, ranging from four to six, sitting patiently at a variety of small tables, writing implements and papers before them. As the duo entered the room twenty pairs of dark wide eyes looked up at them. 

“We’re done, doctor,” one of the children announced. With his declaration twenty hands picked up their pieces of paper and held them high in the air for the doctor and her companion to see. Each one varied in color and artistic talent, but there were all basically of the same thing: a large black shape with wings and a tail was seen flying over what appeared to be a mountain. Next to the black object was what appeared to be a giant oval, perhaps an eye, hanging over the mountain, as though suspended in mid-air.

Dr. Junji stepped back in surprise, the shock evident on her face. The colonel simply remained where he was and gazed stoically on. 

“He hates us.” 

The colonel turned to where the voice had come from. It was an older child, about thirteen, that had made that announcement. His name was Michiyoshi, if the colonel remembered correctly. He was Junji’s first find, the most powerful of the children, and served as her assistant. “What was that?”

“He hates us,” Michi said once again without elaborating. 

The colonel advanced on him and saw that Michi looked terrible, as though he hadn’t had sleep in days. “Could you be more specific?”

Michi’s voice became distant as he continued. “I can feel his rage reaching out to us. He hates us all. He wishes all of us were dead, and he’s coming. He knows he’s going to wake up soon and he’s letting his anger grow. It’s a hatred beyond anything you can imagine. Nothing human can hate that much, and that malevolence will be unleashed upon this world. I only hope I’m dead before it happens.”

With that Michi fell silent. The colonel didn’t know what to make of it, save that the hackles on the back of his neck began to rise. There was never a time that happened and disaster didn’t follow. Maybe it was time to put in for that vacation he had wanted to take for a while. If the kid was right it might be his last chance to get it in before things hit the fan and he would be up to his neck in trouble, as usual.

Ranma ½ Presents:  
Shampoo ½   
Chapter 32

The Insufferable Lightness of Mother

All C+C is greatly appreciated  
You can contact me at : sommer@nb.net

Azatlan has given Shampoo ½ a home at:  
http://www.geocities.com/~azatlan/Special-Series/shampoo.html

Bloodblade has also given it a home at:  
http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/towers/5920

Standard disclaimer:  
I disclaim I own any of the Ranma ½ characters. They are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

An alternate universe:  
What has happened so far (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic. This is the short version. For the full story you will need to read the previous chapters.) In the beginning, the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to train, not realizing that Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma. Many months of many adventures, with the meeting of friends and foes alike. In the last chapter Akane and Ranma went on a date. Cologne returned to Japan. The Shogun of the Dark got closer to initiating his plan. Perfume and her Hunt Pack move every closer to Japan. And at last Nodoka Saotome has come onto the scene. Unfortunately she heard Shampoo-kun refer to Genma as ‘Pop’, and has come to a mistaken conclusion…

[] Indicates thoughts

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shampoo-kun stared at the odd woman that was holding him. Whoever she was it was obvious she had mistaken him for the real Ranma.

“I’m not—“ he began, but was cut off as Genma slapped a hand over the Amazon’s mouth.

“—not at all surprised to see my mother is looking so wonderful. That was what my son, Ranma, was going to say. Isn’t that right, Ranma?” Genma released his grip as he waited for the answer.

Shampoo-kun gave the fat man a flat stare. Genma was up to something, and whatever it was meant trouble. “No,” he said. Instincts cried out he should refuse to go along with Genma this time. It was all going to lead to nothing but trouble. All of his stupid plans were nothing but trouble.

“What were you going to say, Ranma?” the woman asked.

Shampoo-kun looked at the woman. Her statement confirmed it. This was Ranma’s mother. How the heck had the fat slob married someone that attractive? Genma must have been up to something really bad if he was trying to pass off Shampoo-kun as his son. It also meant that either Nodoka had very poor vision or a faulty memory to think he was Ranma. Or, he supposed, she could have been driven mad by being married to Genma. “I was going to say—“

Genma slapped his hand across Shampoo-kun’s mouth once again. “That he’s so happy to see you words can’t describe it.” He smiled at Nodoka and began to drag Ranma away. “We need to have a private discussion.” 

“But I haven’t seen Ranma for so long. Can’t it wait?” Nodoka pleaded.

“It’s manly man to manly man talk. We’ll be back in a moment.” He continued dragging Shampoo-kun along until they were out of earshot, but not visual range of Nodoka.

Shampoo-kun ripped himself out of Genma’s grasp. “What this all about, Pop? Why are you trying to pass me off as Ranma?”

Genma took on his most pitiful, pleading look for the Amazon, the one he usually reserved for when Happosai was angry with him and he would grovel for mercy. “Believe me when I say Ranma’s life depends on you impersonating him. You have to do it or the boy will die.”

“What you talking about?” Shampoo-kun was getting sick and tired of Genma’s act. 

“I can’t explain it all now. Wait until we get home and I can explain it to everyone there all at once. I’m dead serious this time.”

Judging by the serious look now on Genma’s face he just might have been telling the truth. With a sigh Shampoo-kun decided to take a chance and go along with the act. He rushed forward and embraced Nodoka in a large hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning her in a circle.

“It’s so nice to see you, Mother!”

Shampoo-kun allowed Nodoka back on the ground as she began crying. “Oh Ranma. It’s been too long. I’ve missed you so much.”

“It’s been many months,” Shampoo-kun said.

“Years!” Genma shouted. “It’s been so many years.”

“That right. The years felt like months.” Shampoo-kun agreed as he wondered what could have happened to keep Ranma apart from his mother for that length of time. 

“At last our family is reunited.” She continued sobbing as she held Shampoo-kun in a tight embrace. After crying for almost ten minutes straight, she composed herself enough to speak normally. “Why don’t we go back to our house and you can tell me what you’ve been doing all of these long years.”

“That’s a good idea,” the Amazon agreed before getting cut off once again by Genma.

“First we need to go back to the Tendo Dojo,” Genma said.

Nodoka perked up at that. “The Tendo Dojo? Has Ranma picked out a fiancee already?”

“Yes,” Genma said quickly. “I thought it best they start to get acquainted with one another right away.”

“How long have you been back in Japan?” Nodoka asked.

“Not long. There was some additional training I wanted to give the boy before bringing him before you. But he’s definitely a man among men.”

“I’m certain he is,” Nodoka said as she smiled warmly. “I’d like to meet Ranma’s fiancee. I would have preferred helping him choose, but I’m certain he picked one that will be able to make him happy.”

“No,” Shampoo-kun said flatly. “The girl chosen for me make me sick.”

Nodoka looked in shock at her son as Genma recoiled in horror. Quickly Genma was at his son’s side in a flash. “My boy, such a kidder. He meant to say he’s very pleased with his choice. Let’s go now.” Genma grabbed Shampoo-kun and took him on ahead of Nodoka as she bent down to retrieve her wrapped katana and followed.

Genma began whispering in Shampoo-kun’s ear. “Listen to me. This is quite literally a matter of life and death. You cannot say things like that to your mother.”

“She not my mother,” Shampoo-kun growled. “My mother’s back in China.”

“You’d better get used to thinking of her as that for now, otherwise the consequences will be dire for all involved. Just pretend, please.”

Shampoo-kun rolled his eyes and decided to play along. He allowed Nodoka to walk side by side with him as the trio made their way back to the dojo. Nodoka asked him questions that he answered with as much correct information as he could. Over time he had dragged almost every detail of Ranma’s life out of him, committing everything to memory. Fortunately Ranma’s life was actually pretty simple. He learned a lot of martial arts, his father was a terminal idiot always getting them into trouble, and not much else. 

He asked Nodoka questions about her past, which was about as interesting as Ranma’s, though she did mention that she had trained sufficiently with the katana to insure nothing would go wrong if she had to make good on ‘the promise.’ Before Shampoo-kun could ask further questions about that, Genma changed the subject to Nodoka’s current hairstyle and how little she had changed over time.

As Nodoka talked a little bit with Genma, Shampoo-kun took the time to examine the woman more closely. There was more than a passing resemblance between mother and son, and even more between the cursed form and her. She did not seem to be a warrior, despite her proclaimed skill in the katana, and she lacked the movements of a fighter, not that she was not graceful as she walked alongside her husband. Outwardly she seemed every bit the proper Japanese woman, and a pleasant enough individual. 

Getting to know Nodoka would be interesting. Ranma had never talked about her and she was one of the few blank spots in Shampoo-kun’s knowledge of Ranma. In truth he had just figured the woman was dead since Ranma never spoke of her. There was also the matter of discovering exactly what Genma was up to and what trouble he had gotten Ranma into now.

As the trio arrived at the outside of the dojo Genma placed a hand in front of his wife, causing her to stop in her tracks. “Wait out here while I prepare the Tendos for your arrival.”

“Why can’t I just introduce myself to them?” she asked quizzically.

Genma panicked at the question. “Soun’s a bit high strung ever since his wife died. Whenever he meets a new woman at his home he thinks they resemble his dead wife and he just cries and cries. His daughters won’t even let him answer the door. Isn’t that right, Ranma?”

Shampoo-kun nodded his head. Genma was becoming a worse liar over time. 

“All right,” Nodoka reluctantly agreed and remained outside until Genma and Shampoo-kun returned, asking them not to take too long.

Once inside Genma quickly rounded up the whole family and began talking in a rush. “Everyone listen closely because I only have enough time to tell you this once. Ranma, you’re going to have to be a girl for as long as your mother is here.” He dumped water on Ranma as the boy looked in shock at the term ‘mother’.

“Mother? What’s all of this abou—“ 

Genma cut Ranma-chan off. “You can ask questions after I explain everything.” He returned his attention to the rest of the people in the room. “It’s going to have to be like when the Furinkan students are around. Everyone must refer to Ranma as Shampoo and Shampoo as Ranma. There can be no curse changes, or else it’ll be very…bad for everyone, especially myself and Ranma. Here’s the quick version of why we’re doing this. When Ranma was about three the only way his mother would let me take him on his extended training journey was if I made a promise. This pact was sealed with an agreement that if I brought the boy back to her he would be a man among men, a paragon of them if you would. If I failed in this task we were both supposed to commit seppuku, with her serving as our second. We both signed this agreement, and she will take it seriously. Today when we were on our way back from shopping she overheard Shampoo call me Pop and thinks he’s Ranma. There was no way out other than to let her think that was exactly who he was. Now Shampoo is going to have to pretend to be Ranma until we can get out of this situation. That just about covers it.”

Ranma-chan paled as her father finished. Her words came out in quiet tones. “You made my own mother promise to kill me if I don’t live up to some stupid ideal you came up with?”

“That’s about it,” Genma said, quite satisfied with himself.

“YOU DUMB OLD MAN!!! I SHOULD KILL YOU FOR THAT!!!”

Since Ranma-chan was in the process of doing precisely that by choking the life out of her father, the statement was rather unnecessary. It took the combined efforts of Akane and Soun to pull her off of him. 

“You can’t kill him, Ranma,” Akane warned, trying to calm her fiancé down.

“That’s right,” Shampoo-kun said calmly. “I do it for you.” And with that he leaped upon Genma and began choking him. “DUMB OLD MAN!!!” he raged. “YOU IS SO STUPID! YOU GOING TO GET RANMA KILLED BECAUSE OF SOME IDIOTIC PROMISE!!!”

This time Ranma-chan joined in with the attempt to pry Shampoo-kun from Genma’s throat. As they broke the deathgrip the Amazon had around Genma’s neck he calmed down. Once Ranma-chan was convinced Shampoo-kun wasn’t going to keep attacking Genma, she once again leaped for her father’s throat. It was as she was choking the life out of him for the second time that Nodoka entered the room and saw the scene before her.

“What’s going on here?” 

All eyes turned towards her and Ranma-chan released her father to stare at the woman who was her mother. Time seemed to stop for her as she gazed upon the woman of whom she had no memories of. Ranma-chan thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Shampoo-kun took the initiative. “We were just practicing martial arts. It takes up so much of my life hardly a moment goes by we no training. Sorry to make you wait, Mother. Let me introduce you to everyone.”

He introduced each in turn just like he thought Kasumi would, though he introduced Akane in a rather irritated tone. When he got to Ranma-chan he paused for a moment. Her introduction was going to be a little trickier. 

“This is Shampoo. She a very, very good friend who is very nice and powerful. She is a great fighter who Pop and me have been traveling with for a very long time because she can no go back home to her village in China. She even saved my life a couple times. I want you to think of her like a daughter because she is so close to Pop and me.” He gave a warm smile to Ranma-chan, who was still staring at Nodoka.

A confused expression crossed Nodoka’s face before she smiled and approached the red-head. “Thank you for helping my son. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

She bowed before Ranma-chan, who took a moment to recover before bowing back. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well. You’re very pretty,” she added, saying the first thing that came to her mind.

Nodoka blushed at that. “Thank you so very much. I must say you are a very attractive young lady as well.” 

“Why don’t I get us some tea and we can talk about everything,” Kasumi offered as she went to prepare something for her new guest. It only took her a few minutes to make everything and she served everyone at the dining room table. Nodoka sat between Genma and Shampoo-kun. On the opposite side Ranma-chan sat next to Akane and Nabiki while Soun took the head of the table. Soun noticed Nodoka look nervously at him several times before relaxing.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“No, no,” Nodoka quickly answered. Once Soun’s attention drifted away she whispered in Genma’s ear. “He’s not going to cry now, is he? I think I’ve been here long enough that he realizes I’m not Kimiko.”

“I’d say so,” Genma said with a straight face.

“Good,” she whispered back, then spoke more loudly to Ranma. “So. All of these young ladies seem to be very nice. Which did you pick as your fiancee?”

Shampoo-kun sweatdropped at that. If he had to impersonate Ranma and pretend to have a fiancee it might as well be one he got along with, at least until the whole matter blew over. So why not choose the one he really was engaged to, even if only for a little while? He smiled in Kasumi’s direction and was about to speak up when Akane was picked up by Soun and Genma and placed next to Shampoo-kun.

“He picked Akane,” Soun said. “They’re a perfect match.”

“Yes. Both of them couldn’t be happier with one another,” Genma agreed.

Akane gave a disgusted look towards Genma and her father, then another one towards the boy she was next to. Shampoo-kun returned the glance.

“Oh, yeah,” Akane said in a flat voice. “Couldn’t be happier with my fiancee.”

“Ditto,” was all Shampoo-kun could muster as he sipped some more tea.

Nodoka watched the whole event with a confused look before settling down and smiling once more. “You two look cute together. Have you set a date yet?”

Two vehement ‘no’s met her as a response.

“Well there’s no need to hurry. You two have all of the time in the world and should get to know each other first.”

The duo looked a little relieved at the statement and continued sipping their drinks. 

Nodoka looked on, somewhat confused by the whole situation. She was just getting to know her son, and it seemed she had a lot to learn. 

Ranma-chan watched as her mother talked to Shampoo-kun like he was her son. It just wasn’t fair. At long last she had met her mother, who she assumed had been dead, and the woman didn’t even know who she was. Nodoka was close enough to touch, to embrace, but there might as well have been a stone wall between them. Silent curses were directed at her father as Ranma-chan continued her painful gaze towards Nodoka. It was all her father’s fault. He was the reason she had to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. There would be a reckoning later. The old man was really going to pay for screwing this one up.

Ranma-chan tried calming down. All was not lost. Even if she couldn’t reveal who she really was she could still enjoy her mother’s company. And the redhead was damned if she would allow anyone to come between her mother and her.

Nodoka talked pleasantly with Shampoo-kun. Her son was very handsome and certainly appeared to be quite the man. “What sort of hobbies do you have, Ranma?”

“He enjoys cross-dressing,” Nabiki answered seriously.

Shampoo-kun backed up in fear as Nodoka’s hand tightened on the hilt of the still wrapped up katana, his ‘mother’s’ eyes glazing over slightly. “That doesn’t sound like a very manly hobby.”

“Nabiki is being facetious,” Kasumi answered happily. “She means he enjoys gardening.”

“Oh,” Nodoka’s grip loosened as she relaxed. “Thank goodness.”

“Speaking of gardening,” Kasumi continued, “I need you to pull out all of the weeds in the yard, Nabiki. One at a time by hand.”

The middle Tendo spluttered over that one. “Why do I have to do that?!”

“I don’t have the time to do it myself. That is unless you would like to do all of the cleaning, cooking the food, the wash…”

Nabiki listened as the list continued. Leave it to Kasumi get overprotective of Shampoo and spoil Nabiki’s fun. She might have even considered getting revenge if it had been anyone other than her sister.

Ranma-chan watched as long as she could before Nodoka wanted to talk to ‘Ranma’ in private, leaving the redhead alone with the others. She opted not to attack her father again and went to the dojo to practice. She wasn’t there more than a few moments before Akane showed up, glowering as well.

“I need to work off some of my stress,” Akane said as she started to stretch out.

“How do you think I feel?” Ranma-chan answered back. “I can’t even admit who I am to my mother. You have no idea how much I’ve missed her. I thought she was dead.”

“At least she’s alive,” Akane said sadly. “Even if you can’t tell her who you are, at least she’s alive.”

Ranma-chan nodded in understanding. She had managed to get Akane to talk about her mother after the events with Silk, but it was obvious that Akane still missed her, even after all those years. 

“Having to pretend I’m engaged to Shampoo is stressful enough for me,” Akane practically snarled in fury.

“She’s not that bad,” Ranma-chan defended her absent friend. “It’s not like you have to worry about her trying to kiss you or anything. Just try to be nice. She’s a good person.” Akane scowled angrily at her fiancé. A move Ranma-chan couldn’t help noticing. “What’s you problem now?”

“It sounds like you’re choosing her over me.”

Ranma-chan shook her head in confusion. “What the heck are you talking about?”

“As if you didn’t know!” Akane snapped back.

“I don’t.” She silently wondered what she had done to set Akane off this time. It was difficult to admit, but every now and then Ranma-chan could usually point out what she had done to anger Akane, but this time she was totally in the dark.

“Whatever!” Akane snapped back once again. “Let’s start.”

Ranma-chan shrugged and allowed Akane to throw some attacks at her. Ranma-chan employed her usual strategy of allowing Akane to swing all she wanted and dodged each attack. Since her mind was on the subject of her mother, Ranma-chan wasn’t even bothering to tell her fiancee what she was doing wrong in her attacks.

Akane’s started to lose control of her already frayed temper. “You are supposed to be training me!”

“I am,” she answered distractedly while continuing to evade the ever increasing series of attacks Akane was employing. She was so filled with the vision of her mother in her head she neglected to pay close attention to Akane’s increasing anger. 

“Oh look,” Akane said as she pointed over her fiancé’s shoulder. “Is that your mother?”

Ranma-chan turned around, darting her head back and forth. “Where? I don’t—“

The rest was cut off as Akane grabbed her shoulders from behind and drove a hard knee into the smaller girl’s back, then followed by an elbow to the back of the head. Ranma-chan shouted in pain from the two blows and suddenly found herself picked up over Akane’s shoulders and driven head first into one of the mats. Reflexes took over as the redhead rolled out of the way and got to her feet. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Ranma-chan shouted as she shook her head and tried to recover. 

Akane looked smugly at her. “Winning. I told you to take me and my martial arts seriously or you’d be sorry.”

“That was a dirty trick.”

“Which I learned from your father. The same guy that taught you,” Akane said, continuing to stare smugly. “He is right you know. If you let yourself get distracted in the middle of a fight like that you’re going to pay for it.” Akane suddenly felt very uncomfortable with the gaze she received from the smaller girl. Instead of anger there was a sad look.

“You’re absolutely right, Akane.”

That was all the warning she needed to know something was up. Ranma-chan was far too egotistical to just accept that kind of tongue lashing without trying to get a pound of flesh back. Unless he was continuing to play by a different set of rules with her. Still, she had to accept the apology. “I’m glad you feel that way. Sorry if I hurt you.” She knew she hadn’t. Ranma-chan had taken far worse than that lots of times.

“Nice moves by the way,” Ranma-chan said as she gave a sad smile.

“Thanks.” Something was terribly wrong.

“Where’d you learn them?”

“Ummm,” Akane began. “From your father.”

Ranma-chan shook her head. “Nope. Only the knee shot was from Anything Goes.”

“I must have picked up somewhere else.”

Ranma-chan shot an eyebrow up at that, making Akane feel as though she were being mocked. “I’m sure you did. I know where it’s from. I had someone try to use it on me a while back.”

“See,” Akane said as she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. “That must have been where I saw it.”

“It wasn’t used when you were around,” Ranma-chan said quietly. “It was a private one on one fight I had with Tarou a while back.”

Akane suddenly felt guilty about the whole thing. Even as guilt settled in she felt her anger at Ranma-chan rise. She was trying to tell Akane what to do again. “I guess he might have taught me it.”

“I wondered why you were getting so much better so fast. I didn’t understand how you could be doing it in just our training session. It all makes sense now. You’ve still been training with him, haven’t you?”

There was no need for Ranma-chan to say the name, both knew who she meant. “Yes I have. So what! You can’t control everything about my life! You don’t hear me saying don’t train with Shampoo or anything like that!” She shouted defensively. It was going to be the same argument they had when Ranma had returned from fighting with Herb. By the kami how she hated it when he got into pointless arguments with her. Why couldn’t he see things just for once from her point of view? 

To her surprise rather than the expected blow up, Ranma-chan’s eyes gained an even more melancholy appearance. “It’s all right, Akane.”

She was taken aback by that. Why wasn’t he shouting at her like the last time? “What’s the trick?”

The redhead continued looking sadly at her. “No tricks. You should train with him from now on.”

Akane shook her head. What had happened to the real Ranma-chan? There was no way the person before her could be the real thing. “Why are you saying that?”

Ranma-chan turned to go. “There comes a time in a martial artist’s life when they have to choose a master to learn from. Once they feel they have learned all they can, or find someone else that can teach them in a better way, it’s time to move on and go with someone else. It’s the responsibility of each individual martial artist to figure out when that time comes and make the decision if they wish to move on or not.”

“I…I never said I wanted to change,” Akane stammered. “I never said Tarou was better than you.”

Ranma-chan shook her head. “You didn’t have to. Didn’t you hear what I said earlier? I told you you’re getting better, learning at a lot faster rate then I’ve been able to teach you. You’re learning more from him than you are from me. There’s no shame in that. Each person learns in different ways at different speeds. 

“Pop once told me about how he and Mr. Tendo left their old master for Happosai. It ain’t often the old man gets serious with me like that, so I paid attention. Pop said it was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. He told me he loved his old master dearly, and he learned a lot with him, but the truth was Happosai could teach him a whole lot more than the old master ever could. So when he went to the old master and told him he was thinking of leaving, the old master told him the same thing Pop told me when he was talking about the story. A true martial artist’s first loyalty is to the art itself, not to the people that practice it. Oh, you still have to honor your teachers and stuff, but any true master understands that when the art calls to you to learn more than you already have, you answer that call. The old master told that to Pop. Pop told that to me for when the time comes and I have to leave him, either when he has no more to teach me or if I have to learn under someone else. He told me that with a tear in his eye. It was the about the only time I remember him getting emotional like that. Well, now I’m telling the story to you. 

“Tarou may not be better than me, but for whatever reason, he teaches you better than I can. I can accept that now. It bothers me a bit, but I understand that’s the way it has to be. You say you want me to treat you like a serious martial artist, then it’s time for you to make a choice, and you’ve already done that whether you realize it or not.”

“I’m not saying I don’t like you, Ranma,” Akane said softly.

Ranma-chan waved it off. “I know. It’s not a popularity contest. Pop liked his old master way better than Happosai, but he knew that despite that, he had to change. It’s going to be the same thing for you. You don’t have to like who teaches you, you just have to be willing to learn. And you are. I’m telling you to go with my blessing.” Ranma-chan held up a warning finger. “Just remember that even though you’re learning his techniques, you’re still part of the School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Incorporating other schools techniques and making counters for them is our school’s primary strength. So good luck Akane. I expect you to learn a lot, because I’ll still try you out to see how good you’re getting. And if I think you’re slacking I’ll let you know about it, the hard way.”

Ranma-chan left the dojo without another word, leaving Akane looking forlornly at where the redhead had been but a moment before. She stared there for a few moments before she felt something wet hit her foot. She gazed downward to see what it was, then realized the source of the wetness. It was her. Without even realizing it she was crying, and the tears were falling to the ground. 

She remained there for quite some time.

Ranma-chan was walking down the hall when she passed Nodoka. As the older woman passed by she noticed the painful look on the redhead. “Is something wrong, Shampoo?”

Ranma-chan looked at her mother. “Not really. I think I just grew up a little, and it was a bit more painful than I thought it would be.”

Nodoka looked sagely at her. “It always is, dear. It always is. If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”

Ranma-chan took her up on the offer, making certain that her cover wasn’t blown when she related the tale. It was nice having a mother to talk to, even if the mother didn’t realize who she was listening to.

Shampoo-kun was becoming very annoyed at Nodoka Saotome. Having to be a male all the time was bad enough, but he had to constantly be on guard that he didn’t let his or Ranma-chan’s true identity slip. And then there was the language problem. Nodoka finally picked up on the fact he still talked with a slight inflection. He tried playing it off as that he had learned Chinese so well and spoke it for so long he had actually picked up an accent. Now he had to concentrate and make sure he spoke in near flawless Japanese. It was a major pain in the rear end.

And then there were all the questions about he and Akane. More than once Genma clamped a hand over Shampoo-kun’s mouth as he started to say unpleasant things about the youngest Tendo. Curiously, Nodoka never asked why he did that, she just seemed to take it in stride. As the conversation continued Shampoo-kun made certain to give examples of how ‘manly’ he was, though the idea of anyone actually wanting to be manly was outrageously stupid to someone that grew up in a matriarchal society. The Amazon simply tried to accept the fact the Japanese were really a very backward people. Hopefully a solution would appear soon. The whole situation was really too much for anyone to be expected to take.

Night fell and Nodoka slipped into the Saotomes’ makeshift bedroom and prepared the futon for her family. It was such an exciting day. Her son had at long last returned to her, and he had grown every inch into a man among men. He did seem reserved around her, but that was to be expected since he hardly even remembered her after all those years. But that would all change now that she was once again together with him. He was never going to leave her side, not like he had before. She had missed so much of his childhood, and she needed to make up for it.

Once she was over the initial shock of seeing her son and learned a little bit about him, she began to get a feel for the workings of the house itself. The first thing was getting the girls to address her as Auntie Saotome. She was among family now and wanted to be reminded of it at every opportunity. Then there was the tension between Ranma and Akane. Leave it to Genma to raise her son with few manners regarding women. If her initial observations were accurate, there seemed to be more than a little tension between the two of them. That was to be expected. Both Ranma and Akane seemed to be very strong willed children, and were going to need be guided a little bit, but something could be worked out, she was certain of it. Of course there was the mystery of exactly why Shampoo was present in the house. There was more there than met the eye, and Nodoka had a feeling whatever the reason was, it was very important.

Nodoka went into the closet to see if there were any extra pillows for the three of them. As she searched for some her hand brushed against something soft and silky amongst the clothes hanging in the closet. She moved some around and her eyes fell upon ‘them’. Slowly her katana was unwrapped and drawn out from its sheath.

“RANMA!!!”

Shampoo-kun turned from the conversation he was having with Kasumi. That had been Nodoka’s voice, and it didn’t sound pleased. Within moments of the cry Genma rushed into the room in mortal fear, followed closely by Nodoka, sword drawn and with a dress in hand.

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!!!” She held out the dress towards Shampoo-kun and lowered her voice slightly. “Why are there dresses in your closet?!”

Shampoo-kun began to panic. They were the ones Ranma had purchased when he thought he was a girl. Apparently no one had thought to remove them from the room before Nodoka found them. It was time to move quickly or else he was going to be dodging a swinging katana. “They not mine! They’re Pop’s!” He pointed accusingly at Genma.

Nodoka nearly dropped her katana in shock. “Genma?” she said in a quiet voice.

He held his hands before him and shook his head as rapidly as he could from side to side. “The boy’s lying! Just look at them! They would never fit me!”

“They’re mine,” a voice said from the doorway.

Nodoka turned to see Ranma-chan enter the room. Once she had Nodoka’s attention the shorter girl continued. “Mr. Saotome and Ranma were keeping them in their closet because I don’t have the space for them. Let me try one on and you’ll see it fits perfectly.”

Everyone watched Nodoka visibly relax. “There’s no need, dear. I can see you’re telling the truth.” She turned to Shampoo-kun. “Please forgive me for doubting you, Ranma. I should have known you wouldn’t do something like that.”

“It’s no problem,” he said as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. That had been far too close. If he hated the situation before, he really loathed it now. It was getting worse by the moment.

The rest of the night passed on normally. Normally meaning Ranma-chan slept in Shampoo’s usual room and Shampoo-kun slept with Genma and Nodoka. The next day was full of a delightfully unpleasant surprise for Shampoo-kun. Rather than Nodoka going home she elected to stay at the dojo with her family while her ‘son’ got to know his fiancee better. 

As the days passed, Nodoka became increasingly concerned about her ‘son’s’ relationship with Akane. The two of them absolutely did not get along. They never showed each other anything other then barely concealed contempt. At first Nodoka thought it was simply that the two were uncertain about their future, but all of her efforts to bring them together failed miserably. The one time she had insisted they go out on a date resulted in the duo not talking at all afterwards. Something simply had to be done. 

And then there was the little problem of Shampoo. In her time at the dojo Nodoka still hadn’t quite figured out exactly why the girl was there, other than to provide a constant sparring partner for her son. The relationship between the Amazon and Akane seemed very peculiar as well. On that first day she had arrived there seemed to be some sort of problem between the two of them. But as time went on the two seemed to come to an understanding and behaved in a manner Kasumi had dubbed ‘normal’ when Nodoka asked her about it. There seemed to be a friendship, but it was obviously strained by something that was between the two of them. And then there was Akane’s desire to strike Shampoo whenever the girl was particularly obnoxious. Nodoka tried to explain to her that it was very unladylike to strike those that irritated you with instruments of blunt trauma, but Akane would go back to doing it when the Chinese girl let her mouth ramble on and say insulting things. Shampoo, on the other hand, was very much a tomboy and not ladylike at all. Still, perhaps that was normal behavior when one was raised an Amazon.

There was some tension among the members of the household, and it was up to Nodoka to find out what the cause was and put a stop to it.

“It’s not like I wanted to go out on that date!” Akane fumed.

“You don’t see me jumping up and down in joy over the whole thing!” Shampoo-kun snapped back.

Ranma-chan watched as the argument between the two went back and forth. In the past she might have tried to deny there were any real problems between the two of them, but there was a LOT of friction now. All they ever did was snap at each other. To a limited degree that was understandable; they were all under a lot of pressure, but what was the big idea of arguing? 

Ranma-chan stood directly in front of the duo causing them to stop. “What is the problem you two have with one another? You used to get along fine, now you’re practically at each other’s throats all the time.”

In response the accused threw each other a dirty glare. 

Akane spoke first. “I am a girl. I don’t want to be engaged to another one.”

“I feel the same way,” Shampoo-kun retorted. “Especially to someone as ugly as you.”

Akane’s face twitched for a moment before she replied. “Why you arrogant bimbo! At least I know what gender I like!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“I’ve seen the way you look at girls sometimes, and it’s not the way a normal girl looks at them.”

“I do not! I only like boys!”

Ranma-chan stopped it before the two of them came to blows. “Stop it! Both of you! Can’t you two get along, please? I want my mom to think her son’s a good guy, even if it isn’t really me.”

Shampoo-kun shook his head. “You is asking too much.”

“I’ll do it,” Akane answered, giving the Amazon a satisfied grin.

Shampoo-kun returned the scowl. He was damned if he was going to be upstaged by her. The black-haired boy agreed to get along with Akane better, allowing Ranma-chan to give a sigh of relief. Things were finally going her way. Sort of.

Later that night Nodoka waited for her son and Akane to come back from their date. It was wonderful. The two had decided to go on a date without any encouragement from her or their fathers. Surprisingly, both of them were subdued about that for some odd reason. The two had even retired to some quiet corner of the house to talk about something, leaving Nodoka alone to wait for the pair to return.

Eventually the duo did indeed return. When they entered through the gates they seemed startled to see Nodoka waiting for them. The two quickly held hands, much to Nodoka’s delight. At last they were acting like a couple instead of a pair of cats and dogs. “Did you two have a good time?”

Akane and Shampoo-kun looked at one another. Their date had consisted of one of the few movies they could agree upon, a very plain dinner, and constant sniping at one another. The only thing they could agree upon was that hanging out with Happosai would have been worse. 

“It was great,” Akane said with all the enthusiasm she could muster. 

“Yes,” Shampoo-kun agreed. “It was a real good time. Almost as much fun as skating against The Golden Pair.”

Nodoka missed the reference and continued smiling at the couple. “Aren’t you going to kiss?” Nodoka had never seen two people turn green that fast.

The two looked at one another with something less than affection. 

“Sure,” Akane said as though being escorted to the gallows. “It’s what engaged couples do.”

“I guess so,” Shampoo-kun reluctantly agreed.

The two stood looking at one another for a couple minutes until before Nodoka spoke up. “I realize you two want to savor the moment, but you should actually kiss to enjoy it.”

The two gave each other a sick look, then leaned forward and allowed their lips to touch in the most unromantic kiss of the year. 

“That was wonderful. It’s so nice to see you two finally getting along. And you enjoyed it so much.”

The duo looked at one another more closely. Since each one had turned an even deeper shade of green, they were forced to conclude Ranma’s mother fit somewhere just under Kunou on the deluded scale.

Having seen the date to its conclusion, Nodoka went back inside. Akane and Shampoo-kun remained where they were for a few moments before speaking to one another.

“I feel like ripping my lips off,” Akane said. 

“For once, I agree with you.”

The two looked at one another and came to a decision. 

“I get the mouthwash first,” Akane swore.

“No way!” Shampoo-kun took off when the words left his mouth, not bothering to wait for the inevitable verbal sparring match to begin. He headed straight for the bathroom. After slamming his knee into a table Akane managed to catch up to him and raced alongside the Amazon. Both were so intent on getting to there first neither noticed the in use sign on the door. Two hands fell on the doorknob at the same time and forced the door open and rushed blindly inside.

Kasumi was resting in the bathtub when her head darted towards the intruders, her arms coming up in front of her in a hasty attempt to cover herself. Upon recognizing them she relaxed and sat back in the tub. “How did your date go?”

“We kissed and now I have to purify my lips before I get something from her!” Shampoo-kun shouted as he struggled with Akane over the mouthwash.

“HEY!!! I didn’t have my tetanus shots either! Besides, I feel like I’m going to throw up!” Akane snapped back.

“Judging from your breath, I thought you had!” Shampoo-kun snapped back.

Kasumi was surprised she felt a bit of pride at Shampoo-kun’s reaction to kissing Akane. He hadn’t been that way when they kissed. In fact, she was certain he enjoyed it as much as she had, as well as the other things they had done together. For the briefest of moments, her mind drifted back to the wonderful time they had on that weekend they spent together, and Shampoo-kun’s electric touch, when Nodoka entered through the still partially open door.

“I heard a loud noise, is everything all…” she trailed off as she fully took in the scene before her. 

It took Shampoo-kun a moment himself to understand just how bad the situation appeared. Panic overtook him. “Mother! This is not what you think!” 

Whatever else was going to be said was cut off by Nodoka’s raised finger. “I want to talk to you, alone.”

The tone indicated she would brook no arguments, so Shampoo-kun obeyed and followed Nodoka out of the room. Just as he closed the door behind him he heard loud gargling from inside. If he hadn’t been so panicked over Nodoka he would have lamented Akane’s victory over him. 

The two entered their empty bedroom, no Genma to be found. Shampoo-kun’s eyes fell upon the wrapped up katana. Nodoka had stopped carrying it around by the second day she stayed at the Tendos, convinced Shampoo-kun was a man among men. Was the blade going to fall into her hands once again?

“Mother,” Shampoo-kun began.

Nodoka cut him off. “There’s no need for explanations.”

“Th…there isn’t?” Wonderful. It appeared the older woman wasn’t in a listening mood and Shampoo-kun was going to have to run for it. As much as it galled him to flee, he couldn’t quite bring himself to strike her. Ranma would never forgive him.

Nodoka had a tear in her eye as she spoke once again. “I’m so happy that my son is so manly.”

Naturally Shampoo-kun facefaulted at that. Upon recovering he began to express his bewilderment. “What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t realize you peeped.” Nodoka was still beaming with pride. “You should have told me. I’m so proud of you!”

“You must be joking,” was all the Amazon could get out. No way was the woman that weird.

“Of course not,” she answered. “I hadn’t realized your father taught that to you. I’m afraid your technique leaves a lot to be desired, though your heart is in the right place. There are a couple of things I would like to clear up. First, you should hide behind something when you peek at women. Being in plain sight just ruins the effect. Second, you should really only be trying to look at Akane. I could clearly see she was jealous of you trying to watch Kasumi. I think if you try peeping on Akane a few times it will improve your relationship immensely.”

Shampoo-kun kept his commentary about Nodoka’s sanity to himself. Of course maybe there was a grain of truth in her way of thinking. Shampoo-kun would not have minded Ranma trying to peep at him when he was in his proper girl form, but it still seemed like something Happosai would have come up with. 

That had been more than enough confusion for one night. He changed for bed, wondering what he was going to tell Ranma about what his mother was really like.

More days passed and disaster nearly struck when Nodoka decided to share a bath with ‘Shampoo.’ Since Ranma was already in the hot water and decidedly male, he was forced to jump out the window right before Nodoka entered the bath. He was also quite naked at the time and had to flag down Kasumi to get him some clothes. Afterwards Shampoo-kun panicked when Ranma-chan asked him suspiciously when Kasumi had seen him naked as a guy. Apparently the eldest Tendo girl mentioned something about him looking better in the buff than Ranma. The Amazon recovered enough to mention the accidental bathroom dousing he suffered right before the encounter with Ryu Kumon, which Ranma-chan seemed to buy that as an explanation. 

Akane and Shampoo-kun reverted to their warring ways, each day becoming more and more offensive to one another. The tensions really started to flare between the two, and then spread to Ranma-chan. The cursed duo especially had a bad time of it because of all the time they were spending in their Jusenkyou gained forms. For Shampoo-kun it was worse. No matter how hard he tried he found his temper becoming more and more frayed with each passing day. He even snapped at Kasumi once. About the only thing that could calm him down was Ranma-chan. The only bright spot during those days was the time spent with the redhead when they could talk. Even then the hours passed too quickly. The duo’s closeness did not go unnoticed.

It was several days after Ranma’s bathroom incident when Nodoka asked Shampoo-kun to help clean the table. The Amazon had started to loathe the woman who forced him into the current situation. How foolish she had been in making some vague promise of allowing Genma to turn her son into a man among men.

While they were cleaning, Shampoo-kun decided it would be a good time to broach the subject he had wanted to discuss with his ‘mother’. By now there was little doubt Nodoka though of her son as a man, so he had some leeway in expressing his thoughts.

“Mother,” he began.

“Yes, Ranma?”

“What would you say if I told you I loved someone other than Akane?” Nodoka’s response surprised Shampoo-kun. She actually seemed overjoyed. 

“Oh, Ranma! Thank you for confiding this with me. At last you’re thinking of me as someone you can be open with. We’re finally communicating with one another.” 

Shampoo-kun recoiled a little. “What do you mean?!”

“I know who you’re talking about. It took me a while, but over the last few days I became convinced that was what the situation was. I know exactly who it is. Shampoo.”

The Amazon was taken aback by that. He had been certain he had never exhibited any outward signs of affection around Ranma-chan. “You know?”

“Yes.” Some of her joy passed as she became more serious. “You’re my son. I watch you constantly. I couldn’t help but notice the soft stares you give her when you think she isn’t looking. The longing you suddenly express in little ways when she leaves the room. It’s obvious to anyone who knows what’s she’s looking for, and under different circumstances I wouldn’t mind Shampoo being your mistress.”

Shampoo-kun’s jaw nearly dropped in shock. “You wouldn’t?”

“Of course not,” Nodoka answered. “You’re a young man and still single. This is the time you should ‘sow your wild oats,’ as the saying goes. I’m sure it’s a bit intoxicating having a foreign girl as your mistress and she is a very pretty girl, if a bit of a tomboy.”

Nodoka seemed to deflate a little. “If you still lived under our roof I could probably let this pass, but we’re living off the Tendos’ charity now, and I understand Akane well enough to know she would never accept you having a mistress, and her feelings are what really matters. It’s obvious you’re the reason Shampoo and Akane don’t get along and that there’s such tension between them. Akane has even struck her with hammers in anger over you. It is nice to know Shampoo understands her place and doesn’t attempt to strike back, but all of that must come to an end. You have to break off your affair with the girl and forget about her. The time is fast approaching when you and Akane are going to be wed, and it’s best to clear up this matter before the date is set.”

Shampoo-kun was outraged. It could just as easily have been him that was begin discarded if the situation was reversed. “What about my feelings? Why should I have to marry Akane if I don’t even like her?”

“I’m sure some of your confusion stems from having Shampoo so close to you. Once she’s out of the picture Akane will settle down and you will see what a sweet girl she really is.”

“She’s a violent gorilla!”

“That will be enough of that, young man,” Nodoka warned. “You mustn’t refer to Akane in that manner. The situation is difficult enough as it is without you making it worse. Try to be more sympathetic to Akane’s plight. She knows you’re in the arms of another woman. What if she was having an affair with another man?”

“I’d give them two tickets to wherever they wanted to go and wish them a safe voyage,” he answered seriously.

“Ranma, start taking your fiancee seriously.”

“NO!” Shampoo-kun shouted. “I no love her! Why won’t you listen to what I want? Why do I have to marry someone I don’t love and discard the one I do? It’s wrong!”

Nodoka shook her head sadly. “I see your father didn’t place the morals in you he should have. It’s a matter of family honor. You cannot simply say ‘I don’t want to marry her,’ and go gallivanting about as though nothing’s wrong. We promised our family bloodline would be united with the Tendo’s. Nothing must get in the way of that. I’m sorry if you truly love someone else, Ranma, but nothing can come of it. You will fulfill our family obligation.”

“Guess again,” Shampoo-kun turned and walked away. His suspicion that Nodoka would try to stop him was put to rest when she remained in the kitchen, leaving him to walk off alone. It was just as well, he was damned if he was going to listen to that nonsense about family obligations. Ranma did not love Akane and Shampoo-kun would never let anything like that occur.

He retired to one of the few places Nodoka did not frequent: the rooftop. As he arrived he noticed there was already another occupant present. “What you doing here, Ranma?”

Ranma-chan did not bother to look at the newcomer, having been aware of who it was long before the Amazon came into sight. “Looking at the stars and trying to stop from being depressed.”

“Is it working?”

“Do I look happy?”

Answering ‘no’ would be stating the obvious. He couldn’t recall a time when she appeared so despondent. Carefully he walked over and sat down next to the smaller girl. “Can I do anything to help?”

“Figure out a way for me to openly acknowledge to my mother that I’m really her son without her chopping my head off,” Ranma-chan sighed.

“I don’t know how. If I did I would be doing it right now. She’s nothing but trouble.”

Ranma-chan picked up on the insinuation. “What happened?”

As much as Shampoo-kun wanted to be honest with Ranma-chan, she would probably not react well to the idea that Shampoo-kun had been trying to break off the engagement without her consent. Not that it wasn’t in the redhead’s best self-interest. “We just had a little fight. It’s nothing to worry about.”

Somehow, Ranma-chan didn’t agree. “Shampoo, please try to get along with my mother. I know the last couple of weeks have been rough for you—“

“Rough for me?!” he shouted in disbelief. “It’s been hell. I can’t stand being a boy anymore. At school I’m a guy and here I’m one too. I can’t go out alone or for long because your mother watches me like a hawk, and I’m afraid when we talk I’ll let something slip about me being an Amazon or I’ll get splashed with hot water and have her come after me with her sword. I hate this!”

Ranma-chan matched the distraught Amazon with her own sigh of helplessness at the situation. “Do you think it’s any easier for me? I’m just as stuck as you are, and I have to pretend I’m someone else to a mother that I can’t even remember. Do you know how much I just want to hold her and have her hold me back? I want to be in your shoes so much you can’t begin to imagine it. I would give just about anything to let her know who I really am and tell her how much I love her. I try to do nice things for her as a girl, but it’s not the same thing. And it’s all starting to get to me.”

“Then let’s run away together!” Shampoo-kun offered. “Let’s leave all of this behind and travel on the road like we used to without a care in the world and staying just one step ahead of trouble.”

Ranma-chan seriously considered that. “I have to admit, as much as I like having roots I do feel the need to hit the road again, at least for a little while. You don’t wander around as much as I did and not enjoy the feel of the road beneath your feet. Being in one place for so long feels really weird. Not bad weird, but different weird. There was a lot to be said when we were traveling across China, wasn’t there?”

Shampoo-kun nodded his head in agreement. All Ranma-chan had to do was say the word and the two of them could set off that very night.

“But I can’t see Akane wanting to go along. I don’t know why, but I just can’t picture her as the itinerant martial artist. She’s definitely more of a stay at home kind of girl.” That was when Shampoo-kun began to laugh, and Ranma-chan picked up on the fact it wasn’t the happy kind either. “What’s wrong?”

Shampoo-kun managed to contain his ironic mirth. It always came back to Akane. “You just wouldn’t understand, not that you even want to.”

“And just what’s that supposed to mean?” Ranma-chan’s temper was beginning to flare. Shampoo-kun was nearly as impossible to understand as Akane. No, that wasn’t exactly true. He was much worse. 

He drew closer to Ranma-chan, looking deep into her eyes and bringing his hands up to gently caress her smooth, pale cheeks. “You don’t know? Would you like me to show you? It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before.”

The changes Ranma-chan underwent with Shampoo-kun’s close proximity astonished even her. As he drew close, her heart began to beat faster and she felt something well up from inside her. There was fear, which screamed at her to run away from him. And there was an unexpected desire like nothing she had ever experienced before, and that painful longing overrode any instincts to flee. An overwhelming sense of deja-vu flooded her as she drew closer to him herself. Buried inside was a yearning to meet with his lips once again, even though it had never happened before, or at least that she could remember. 

Ranma-chan removed hands that wanted nothing more than to cradle her face by gently pushing them aside. The confusion within Shampoo-kun that resulted from that action was displaced as Ranma-chan amazingly took the initiative by bringing her own hands up and gently cradling his face. She was moving of her own accord, taking control of the situation and making all the moves. 

Shampoo-kun let himself go as the redhead moved her face close to his, allowing the tips of their noses to brush before turning her lips away from his. The deep breath she exhaled played across the skin of his right cheek, making his own heart race fast enough that it felt as though it would burst out of his chest. She began to stand up, leaving her hands still cradling his face while she looked down at the sitting Amazon and drew her body closer to him. Her breasts lightly contacted his face as she rose, and his body reacted accordingly, despite the fact there was material of her clothing between the contact points. 

Adrenaline raced through him, heightening his senses and driving him into a near frenzy. He WANTED her. In the past there had been desire, but nothing that incited him like now. It had to have come from the increasing time he was spending as a male, but at the moment that did not matter. Nothing else mattered. He burned for her, needed her, and it had to happen now.

She raised his face to hers, drinking deeply into his green eyes once more. Slowly she bent down and prepared to bring her slightly parted lips to his when a voice broke the spell.

“RANMA!!!”

Shampoo-kun felt passion switch to rage as Ranma-chan’s hands left him and she stared in shock in the direction of the sound. He spun in fury on the voice that had dared to interrupt them. It was Nodoka, who had placed a ladder on the opposite side of the house and came over. She had the audacity to scowl at him as though he was the one that had done something wrong, but the scowl disappeared as she noticed the hateful stare he gave her. At that moment the youth she believed was her son looked more like an enraged animal. 

“Stay back!” he snarled, then turned to say something to Ranma-chan. There was nothing but air next to him. He snapped his head around, just barely making out Ranma-chan’s red-shirted form leaping away from roof to roof at top speed. She was already almost out of sight. 

“Let her go.” 

Shampoo-kun turned to Nodoka once again. “It’s your fault she ran away!” Not waiting for the response, the Amazon headed off in the direction Ranma-chan had taken. It did him no good. The girl was far quicker and was lost from sight within seconds. A quick search showed she was nowhere to be found. It had been so close. Shampoo-kun cursed the day he ever set eyes on Nodoka Saotome.

Ukyou was almost finished cleaning up when the doors to her restaurant burst open. “We’re closed.” She looked up to see the visitor, and knew something was wrong the moment she laid eyes on him. “What’s wrong, Ranma?”

“Hot water, now!” the redhead commanded, all the while appearing as though she was going to cry. 

Ukyou moved to grab the kettle of water she left heating. “Would you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I NEED HOT WATER!!!” 

Ukyou grabbed the kettle and held it before Ranma-chan. She was more than a little concerned about her oldest friend’s behavior. Her Ranchan never yelled at her. “It’s a little hot,” she started to say, but Ranma-chan was in no mood to listen as she ripped the kettle out of Ukyou’s grasp and poured the near boiling contents over herself.

“Whoa,” Ukyou whispered under her breath. Ranma must have been really desperate to pour something that hot over himself. “Now that you’re a guy would you tell me what’s wrong. Did you think you were locked in girl form or something?”

Ranma shook his head. “I can’t tell you,” he explained, then said softly. “Thank Kami I changed.”

Ukyou watched him just stand there for close to five minutes, remaining motionless the entire time.

“I’m not going back,” he finally spoke out loud. 

Ukyou just stared at him a moment. “You can crash here if you want.”

Some of the Ranma she knew crept into his voice. “You sure you don’t mind?”

She just smiled at him. “Of course not. Can you tell me what happened?”

“No,” he said just a little too quickly. “I just need to lie down and be a guy for a while.”

She immediately led him to her bedroom, putting him up with Ryouga was just asking to have the whole place destroyed, and let him sit on her bed. “You just rest,” she recommended as she took note that the sheets were good ones. There was no reason to let Ranma think she was a pig, not that he would really notice anyway.

“I will,” he said as he absently made himself comfortable while staring at the walls, deep in thought about something. 

Realizing she was going to get nothing further out of him at the present, she went back downstairs to finish the cleaning, leaving Ranma to sit and think.

Ranma’s mind replayed what had happened on the roof over and over again. It was taking everything he had to keep from crying out in rage over what he had almost done. The situation with his mother had to be resolved soon. His being female almost twenty four hours a day was beginning to take its toll, or maybe it was from the blow the head that had shifted his personality. How could he have been so twisted? Unlike the previous times, like during the dance at Kanemoto Towers, when he looked at Shampoo through his cursed form’s eyes his emotions were centered on what the Amazon looked like before her change. But this time was different. When he looked at Shampoo-kun the feeling of desire was for the Amazon’s male form. 

He had been attracted to a man. 

Ukyou was finishing cleaning up when she received her second visitor of the evening.

“Sorry, Ai,” Ukyou said before the cheerleader could make herself comfortable. “I’m busy tonight. Maybe we can get together some other time.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Ranchan came over and he looked pretty messed up. I’m going to spend the night with him.”

Ai recoiled at that. “Spend the night with him? I thought we were friends and did things together.” She gave Ukyou a hurt look. “Can I at least join the two of you? I like threesomes, even if it means sharing you with someone else. If that’s what you want to do I’ll understand and go along with it. I can even give advice on the best positions to use.”

“I don’t mean it that way!” Ukyou shouted. “I have no intention of doing anything with him. I just mean I don’t think he should be left alone.”

“Oh,” Ai thought she should have known better. Ukyou didn’t give her affections so easily. “Can I stay over anyway?”

“That’s a bad idea.”

“Please.” Ai gave her best ‘puppy dog eyes’ expression. There were few that could resist that one.

“NO!”

Ai’s shoulders sagged as she dropped her head to the floor. “I’ll do as you command.” She started to leave.

Ukyou recognized the signs immediately. The same thing had happened once before when Ai had caught Ukyou in a bad mood and started making similar suggestions. The chef barked an order to her and that happened. It was like someone flipped a switch in the cheerleader and she became a docile pet. There was no way Ukyou would leave her in that state.

“We can do something together tomorrow night. I promise.”

Ai remained in her submissive state. “Are you sure? I don’t want to trouble you. I’ll do what you ask.”

“It’s no trouble,” Ukyou assured her. “And I’m sorry I yelled at you. It’s just been a long night.”

“You don’t ever need to apologize to me.” Ai said as she at last cheered up and left the restaurant in much higher spirits. 

Ai hadn’t made it more than a couple of blocks when she came across Ryouga, who appeared as lost as usual. She was going to ignore him and move on when the lost one caught sight of her. 

“I want to talk with you, Ai.”

Ai shook her head. There were plenty of reasons why she didn’t care for the lost one, and most of them had to do with the relationship he had with her chef. “What is it?” she asked in a tired voice.

“It’s about you and Ukyou.”

“Yes,” she said in a more tired voice, praying he wouldn’t bore her any longer than he had to.

“I want you to stay away from her.”

That was a mistake. Immediately Ai went into her aggression mode. “What do you mean by that?”

Ryouga missed the change and continued on, trying to remember all of the points he wanted to make in his big speech. “You know what I mean. You’re trying to twist her around and make her perverted, just like you. Ukyou is not that way and doesn’t like girls. So leave her alone.”

“Where the hell do you get off telling me what to do?!” Ai growled.

“I’m Uk-chan’s friend.”

“HA! Friend? You’re nothing of the kind!” Ai snarled, holding nothing back. “I know what you’re real game is. You want to keep her away from me so you can have her all to yourself.”

“Th…that’s not true.” And it wasn’t. He just wanted Ukyou to have a good normal life, and to talk to him like she used to. He didn’t want her all to himself. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. It was all for Ukyou’s benefit.

“Yes it is. You want to string her along like you did before and have Kyoko on the side too. You might have Ukyou fooled, but you can’t deceive me. I know you for what you are; a typical male that wants all the women for himself. Well I’ll never let you hurt her again!”

“What do you mean ‘again.’? I never hurt her before.”

That got him a punch in the gut. “Liar! Only a complete moron would have missed all the signals she sent to you before started going out with Kyoko, and a lot of the ones afterwards. She couldn’t have made her interest in you more obvious if she tore off her clothes and jumped you on the spot. But all you did was string her along, making yourself look good while cruising for another piece of ass, and once you got it you put MY sweet Ukyou in the background. I could see the pain in her during that time and it hurt me almost as much! 

“Well it didn’t work out the way you wanted, jerk! She’s broken free of whatever attraction she felt for someone as pitiful as you and is finally turning her affections to a person that’s more worthy of them and who will return them just as much. I won’t let her pine after someone who isn’t worthy to lick her boots. I’ve got my eye on you Hibiki, and if you even think of trying to hurt my love again, or try to weasel your way into her heart, I’ll rip your guts out!” Ai waited for the response. She was willing to bet he would rage at her and call her a pervert or dyke and swear to make Ukyou’s his once again. Then the two would fight. So long as Ai was fighting for her love she would be invincible.

“You really think she used to like me?” he said sheepishly while looking down at the ground and twiddling his thumbs.

Ai facefaulted.

Ryouga wandered into his home in almost record time. Fate must have been on his side to have discovered it so quickly. He followed the small chalk arrows he had drawn on the side of the walls that led to his bedroom. From there he could see Ukyou’s room in his direct line of sight and get to it without a problem. He mentally went over what he wanted to say, then approached the door. His hand raised and lowered three times before knocking, and with the final rap on the door he lowered his head to the floor. There was no way he could look into her eyes and find the courage to ask the question that needed to be said.

Ryouga heard the door open. If he didn’t blurt it out quickly he wasn’t going to say it. “Do you like me?” There was a pause. That was good. It meant she was seriously considering the question.

“Like’s such a strong word. Let’s go with don’t actively dislike and leave it at that.”

The veins in Ryouga’s forehead began to rise. His head darted up to seek the visual conformation that the ears had already bestowed upon him. It was Ranma. In Ukyou’s bedroom. Ryouga had been humiliated and his Uk-chan molested. Now death would follow.

“RANMA!!! PREPARE TO D—“

*SPLASH*

Ryouga-bat shook itself dry and looked to see who had splashed him with water. Ukyou stood there with an empty pail in hand as her eyes burned holes through him. “Get…out…now,” she said through gritted teeth.

Ryouga-bat squeed at her that it was all Ranma’s fault.

Ukyou knew what was being said, even if she couldn’t understand it. “Ranma did not do anything! It’s you! It’s always you! You are always the one who starts everything! You once asked me to give you a chance to get over this obsession you have with Ranma. Well I have, and you failed miserably. You’re like some kind of stuck record that keeps repeating itself over and over again. I will not tolerate you attacking my friend any more. From now on if you want to pick a fight with him you can do it somewhere else. And I hope he beats you up too.”

For the first time in his life Ryouga now understood what Mousse meant when he talked about receiving an icy stare from the woman he loved and how much it could hurt. Yes. That was what Ukyou gave him now. All he could do was cower before her glare.

“I said leave.”

That snapped him out of it as Ryouga-bat took flight, traveling out the restaurant and into the night skies.

Ukyou stared coldly at the direction Ryouga-bat’s flight took. Ranma observed her for a few moments before speaking himself. “That was a little cold, Ucchan.”

She turned to him. “He tried to pick a fight with you, like always.”

“Yeah. But I’m used to it and it’s not like he’s going to win. Besides, this is where he lives and I am sort of an intruder to him.”

“It’s my home and you are not an intruder,” Ukyou said flatly.

“I know,” he reassured her. “He’s just being protective. And it’s not like I want to see him thrown out into the street. He’s basically a real good guy. He just has some screwed up ideas.” Even Ranma found it difficult to believe he was defending Ryouga of all people.

Ukyou seemed to relent with Ranma’s defense. “I’ll let him stay, but it’ll serve him right to spend the night outside for a change. Maybe he’ll learn to appreciate what he has instead of what he doesn’t.”

“Yeah,” Ranma chuckled. “And maybe pigs will learn to fly.”

“I have to finish up downstairs. It’ll take me a little while, then we can talk if you like, or just relax. We’ll do whatever you want to do.”

“All right,” Ranma said. “It’ll be nice to hang around with you. We really haven’t spent much time together lately. ”

“You’re right. We’ll get a chance to make up for some lost time. It’ll be just the two of us.”

A sound awakened Kyoko from the pleasant dream she was having. She rubbed her eyes as she awakened, and tried to locate the source of the sound. It was coming from the window. She looked to see a black, winged form making noises at her window.

“Ryouga-kun!” she said too loudly. Instantly she listened to hear if any sounds came from out in the hall. No, she had not awakened her parents. She opened the window and allowed Ryouga-bat inside. Effortlessly he landed on her bed and stared at her. It took Kyoko a second to pick up on his problem.

“I’ll get you hot water.” She slipped out to the hall and returned a few moments later with a glass of hot water, dumping the contents on Ryouga-bat and triggering the change.

Kyoko stared at him for a moment. She had forgotten that he would be naked when he became uncursed. As quickly as she covered her eyes there was more than a little regret that she could not examine him more thoroughly. 

“Why are you here?” Kyoko asked. Was he here to try to do something with her?

“I need a place to stay.”

She heard the sadness in is voice. He hadn’t come over for that sort of thing. “Of course you can stay here.”

“Do you have any clothes I can borrow?” he asked.

She left her eyes closed and pointed in the direction of her closet. Ryouga went through it and tried to find something that would be acceptable and fit him. Over ninety percent of the clothing was dresses. There was no way he was going to wear something like that, even for a little while. He was not a pervert, like Ranma. Eventually he found a ‘Hello Kitty’ shirt and matching shorts that were two sizes too small for him. Too bad Kyoko was so much smaller than him, if she had been closer to Ukyou in height the garments wouldn’t have been so…tight in some places.

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” he offered.

Kyoko finally opened her eyes. “You don’t have to do that, Ryouga-kun. You can sleep in my bed with me.”

He felt the blood rush to his head, cutting through his depression. Sleep with her?

“I know you are the total gentleman and won’t try to do anything with me.”

Oh. She just meant sleep. Not *sleep*. Ryouga figured he had been hanging around Ai too long. He really did not have a perverted mind, it was all her influence that made him think that way. Kyoko was a nice girl and didn’t do things like that, just like Ukyou. 

“I’ll double check to make sure that door’s locked. And you’ll have to leave before my parents wake up. If Daddy caught you sleeping in my bed we really would have a shotgun wedding. I wouldn’t want that to happen to you.”

“Right,” Ryouga agreed.

“I would want you to propose to me.”

[P…p…p…p…propose?!] Ryouga mentally stuttered out.

“Let’s get some sleep.” She indicated Ryouga should get into the bed first.

He climbed into the bed, followed by Kyoko. She was wearing thick pajamas that hid everything underneath, so even as close as they slept together in the bed, and Kyoko made certain to snuggle up next to him, he was able to stave off the reactions he had as best as he could. He was not Ranma. He would not take advantage of trusting girls like Kyoko. He was a real man. 

After about half an hour of tension he heard Kyoko gently snoring. He paused a moment to examine her sleeping face. She really was cute. Almost as cute as Uk…

He allowed his thoughts to trail off. Ukyou hated him now. Best just to get her out of his mind, as if he could do that. He watched Kyoko’s face for a while, allowing it to superimpose on the image of Ukyou in his mind. Once that was successful he started to relax. Just as he was about to lie back he took one last look at Kyoko’s face. She looked so peaceful and angelic. Every bit a proper girl. There was the slightest smile on her face as she mumbled “Ryouga-kun” under her breath. 

She dreamed about him? That was very flattering and made him titter nervously. He wondered what sort of dreams a nice, normal girl like her would have of the two of them. Ryouga thought maybe they would have a nice little home, like she had. He would have a job and be reading a newspaper while she watched their son and daughter. 

Somewhere in Kyoko’s mind, subconscious desires allowed a dream to take shape:

“CALL ME QUEEN, RYOUGA-KUN!!!” The whip descended.

*WHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAP*

Yes. Nice normal everyday actions. Something Ryouga lacked all his life and wanted so much. Thoughts became dreams as he lay back, though every now and then it seemed to be Ukyou instead of Kyoko as his wife.

Nabiki waved goodbye to her friends once again as she left their house and went out into the slightly chilled night air. For someone that handled as much money as she did one would think math would come easily to her. But ironically it was her worst subject, and she frequently went to her friend’s place for cramming before the big tests, like tonight.

She was more than halfway home when the voice spoke out from off to her left.

“How’s it going, Nab-chan?”

She cringed at the sound of the hateful voice. The only thing she wanted to hear from Tarou were either the sounds of begging or the cries of pain. “What do you want?” she asked coldly.

“Now, now, now. Is that anyway to talk to me?” he said as he approached to stand next to her, using his superior height to look down upon her. “I’ve heard a lot of rumors around lately, and I wanted to back check them with you.”

“Since you’re running the show, as you like to say, why do you need me? I don’t know anything anymore.”

“Oh, but you do,” he said carefully. “You have the most valuable information of all.”

“Do you mean Akane?” Even Tarou had better watch himself when it came to Nabiki’s little sister. She was not about to let him get anything on Akane.

“If I need to know anything about Akane, I’ll ask her. Unlike you, I’m trusted. There aren’t any secrets between us.” He was glossing over things. Akane kept stuff from him all the time, but why let Nabiki know that?

“So what is it then?” She was tired of playing word games with him. Every time he opened his mouth she wanted to scream in rage at him.

Tarou scowled at her then, a look that would have unnerved others and simply served to make Nabiki loathe him even more. “I hear Fem-boy’s been going around as a girl an awful lot. No one’s even seen him as a guy for close to two weeks. What’s the deal with that?”

Nabiki had some choices to make. It seemed unlikely that Pantyhose had asked Akane about it, unless this was some way he had of double checking the information, but he still could. The question then would become one of if Nabiki lied what were the odds of Akane informing Pantyhose of Ranma’s little problem with his mother and finding out the truth? Her low, compliant profile needed to be maintained so Pantyhose would underestimate her. All he needed to do was make one mistake and he was done for. But once Pantyhose knew of Ranma’s problem he would almost certainly find some way to exploit it. It was Ranma’s welfare versus Akane’s welfare, no choice at all for Nabiki.

She informed Tarou of Ranma’s promise to his mother. Nabiki saw his eyes fairly glow at the statement. 

“That’s incredible. I can hardly believe it. You’re sure you’ve got that right? I’ll be very… disappointed with you if you’re lying,” Tarou warned.

She reemphasized it all, leaving a smiling Tarou as he pondered what to do next.

“I’ve got to think about this,” he said to himself, then returned his attention to Nabiki. “Since you’ve given me such valuable information, let me tell you something that will brighten your day. Remember that Ryonami girl that you had a fight with a while back?”

Nabiki felt her blood chill. Why was he mentioning Ryonami to her? “Yes.”

“She’s in the hospital now, I’m afraid.”

Nabiki kept her emotions in check. It was painfully obvious to her trained eye he was watching her intently trying to gauge her response. “What happened?” she inquired in as emotionless a voice as she could muster.

“I found her and some other guy were extorting some money on the side. At first I thought she got some list off of you, which would have made me very unhappy. But as I ‘talked’ to her she stayed true to her story that it was all her doing. I just can’t believe someone that knows you for who you are would take that kind of pain to protect you. No one as smart as that girl is would be suckered by a snake like you. So I shall apologize for doubting you. You’ve been a good little informer, and I want to keep it that way. Why, eventually we’re going to become family and we can put all of this terrible business behind us.”

He took a deep breath and looked at the stars in the night sky. “You know, I’m honestly getting tired of all this wheeling and dealing. I’m a hands on kind of guy. I guess it just takes a special kind of person to enjoy this sort of work.” He turned to go. “I’ll be seeing you, Nab-chan.”

He left then, allowing Nabiki to watch his figure disappear in the darkness. All that she could think of was that Ryonami had been hurt for her benefit. It was all her fault. Tomorrow she would find out where her injured friend was being kept, Tarou be damned. He would pay. Oh how he was going to pay. She was going to see to it he knew pain for the rest of his life.

Shampoo-kun was running out of places to look for Ranma. His search had taken him more than halfway across Nerima when the obvious occurred to him. 

Uk-Chan’s was undoubtedly closed, but Ukyou would accept Ranma in if he was looking for a place to stay. He went up to the door and pounded on it loudly until Ukyou showed up, clad only in a robe.

“It’s late, Shampoo.” 

The Amazon noticed that despite the protest Ukyou appeared to be wide awake. Ai might have been the one keeping her up, but it could have been Ranma as well. “I’ve been looking for Ranma. He ran off without any explanations and I haven’t heard from him all night. I’m worried.”

“He’s fine,” Ukyou reassured him. “He said he wants to be stay here for a couple of days. He says he needs to be a guy for a while and this will keep him from being under his mother’s nose.”

“Thanks goodness,” Shampoo-kun sighed. “I want to talk to him.” Surprisingly, he found his way blocked by the chef. 

“I can’t let you in,” Ukyou warned seriously.

Shampoo-kun’s eyebrows rose up in surprise. “Why?”

“Ranma also said he wants to be alone. And that meant everybody.”

“I know he didn’t mean me.”

“He specifically said everyone.”

Shampoo-kun looked painfully at her. “Did he say my name in particular?”

Ukyou nodded. “He said yours and Akane’s first.”

That was a relief to him. If all it was about was the incident on the roof Ranma would have just mentioned the Amazon. If what Ranma really wanted was privacy Shampoo-kun would give it to him. Reluctantly. “Tell me truthfully, Ukyou. Is he all right?”

Ukyou nodded her head. “He’s really stressed out, but I think he’ll be fine. As long as he can be a guy, at least for a while, then he’ll feel a whole lot better. He said he’ll call to let you know how he’s doing.”

“Take care of him,” Shampoo-kun warned as he turned to leave.

Ukyou felt that went without saying, but Shampoo-kun was obviously searching for reassurance. “Of course.”

It took Shampoo-kun nearly five minutes to walk far enough that he was out of sight of the restaurant. How much of what happened did Ranma blame him for? How much had he been responsible for? These were questions that were not going to receive answers in the near future. All he could hope for was Ranma’s safe return.

South China Sea:  
The freebooters ship: The Spirit of Wonder:

Perfume put the finishing touches on her concealed weapon, trying the slightly oversized bracer on her forearm. It was a trifle heavy, but nothing that would slow down a warrior as good as her. Hopefully there would never come a time when she would need it. Otherwise a whole lot of questions would have to be answered and she didn’t feel like explaining her actions to the world at large.

Her hunt pack had finally made their way to a ship and were heading towards Japan. There were two stops that had to be made enroute to their destination, but she was in no hurry. Surely Silk had made it back to Japan and already warned Shampoo of the danger, which meant that with any luck Shampoo would have left almost immediately, and the trail to follow her would be cold by now. 

The only possible complication Perfume foresaw, the only reason Shampoo would do something foolish and remain behind, would be the Saotome boy. Unless Perfume was a terrible judge of character, Shampoo was painfully in love with the boy. He had been one of the reasons the purple-haired Amazon had managed to fight through the guilt and defeat Perfume in the end. And if she was in love and the boy refused to leave, she just might stay by his side. Perfume had heard love did that to a person, that it made them act in imbecilic ways, but fortunately she was above such moronic behavior. Being firmly grounded in reality she did what had to be done. There were no daydreams for her. The Shampoo that Perfume had known was an overly emotional one and tended to react on feeling instead of thought, but even she would not be stupid enough to wait for the pack to come to Japan. No. The whole idea was a foolish notion, but one that Perfume could not get out of her head.

A gentle rapping on her door interrupted her thoughts. There was little doubt it was one of her Amazon sisters that wanted something. They were still like a bunch of children sometimes and Perfume had to act as their guardian. If this experience did nothing else it convinced Perfume she was going to wait several years before trying to have children, especially since she still had to meet the kind of man that could adjust to the criteria she sought for in a male.

“Enter.”

The door opened and a small fat man with sunglasses, buck teeth, and an absurd looking red and white striped shirt with blue pants stood in the doorway. “Someone has requested your presence on the main deck, ma’am. I’m here to accompany you. If you would follow me.” He made a sweeping motion with his arm indicating Perfume should follow. 

The pink haired Amazon did not know what to make of the situation. The short man appeared to be some kind of crewman. “Who wants to meet me?”

“A very powerful being that has graced you with its presence. Few are those that ever get to encounter it. It would really be advisable to do as I ask. You have nothing to lose in simply meeting it.”

Perfume picked up on the ambiguous references of ‘it’. Was the little man mad, or was there something else at work here? “Take off your sunglasses,” she commanded. If she could actually look into his eyes she would better be able to judge if he was insane or not.

He smiled and removed them, allowing Perfume to gaze deeply into his orbs. There was something about them, some…timeless…qua…li…ty…

Perfume shook her head out of a daze. For one moment she had been trying to look into the man’s eyes and ended up…lost? She was uncertain of exactly what happened, but it felt like she tried to look into something that had no end.

“Would you come this way, ma’am?” He had donned his sunglasses once more.

Perfume nodded her head and followed. There was more to the situation than met the eye and she now wanted to know what was going on. Dazedly she followed him into the narrow corridor, passing by closed doors on both sides of the hall. As she passed by each door more of the dazed feeling left her until all that was left was a dreamlike quality instead. She knew it was late at night, but there were absolutely no signs of life in the corridors. The only thing she thought she heard was the sound of… windchimes…playing in the distance. Despite her dreamlike state she began counting the doors they passed in the corridor. Ten. Twenty. Fifty. One hundred. Two hundred. Five hundred. They didn’t stop and the end of the hall didn’t get closer. The ability to perceive the passage of time disappeared completely as she looked back over her shoulder only to see a corridor that stretched to infinity. She paused for a moment, dimly noticing one thing that was different.

“The ship’s stopped moving.”

“So to speak,” the short man said. “We’re here.”

Perfume turned to see the narrow stairway which led to the main deck. It hadn’t been there a moment ago, but that didn’t seem to matter. There was now a way out of infinite corridor. This time when he waved his hand he indicated she should go on ahead of him. She did so, and as she emerged out upon the deck, the dreamlike state she had been in dropped away as though it had never been. 

The first thing she noticed was that there was silence. There were no sounds of the ocean, the gentle noise of the ship cutting through the water, or even the sound of the waves lapping against the side of the boat. Nothing. Then she saw there were no stars in the night sky. Even the full moon that had been out before she went to her cabin had disappeared. It was no cloud cover that blocked the few of the skies, she was positive of that, there was a complete absence of light, almost as though the blackness itself sucked it all away. The only illumination on the deck was from a series of lights along the masts of the ship. Under those lights stood a man with a cane, a distinguished looking brown suit, a bowler, and obsidian black skin. He was the one responsible for it all.

“What are you?” Perfume asked.

“You may address me as Mr. Domino.”

“What do you want?”

With that he burst out in uproarious laughter. Laughter that reflected off of nothing and disappeared into the blackness. And it was a blackness, not darkness. Light would not chase away what was out there. That was what it was, somehow she was certain. Perfume now became convinced there was nothing other than the ship, and possibly only the sections of it that could be seen, that remained. All of the world was now composed solely of herself and the thing before her.

“You humans,” he said as he finally controlled his laughter. “You ask the same questions. Truly remarkable. I was going to ask you that question, and unlike you I can give you what you want. Now tell me what it is you want.”

“What do you mean?” She stared at him suspiciously. “Are you saying you’ll do anything for me? If I told you to swim to South America would you do it?”

“Of course,” he answered seriously, “But that isn’t what you really want, and it would be a waste. I can give you your heart’s desire. How would you like to lead the Joketsuzoku?”

Perfume recoiled. How could he have known of that hunger? “You can’t make that kind of decision.”

“You’d be amazed at what I can do.”

Perfume studied him even more carefully. “What do you get out of it?”

“I grant you your wish in exchange for something else.”

“What?”

“I can’t tell you. That’s the way of things. You have to let me give you what you want before I can tell you what it is I require in exchange.”

Perfume shook her head. “I don’t make deals in the dark. Tell me what you want.”

Domino matched the shake of her head from before. “It is beyond my ability to do that.”

“What if my desire was to find out what it is you’re hiding?”

Domino allowed the white teeth to show. “Then it would be a waste of a wish since after the deal I would tell you anyway.”

Perfume tried to concentrate. She had not left her room with the little man and expected anything like this. And the worst part was she was fairly certain the thing before her meant exactly what he said. It just felt like it was all the truth, and not some game he was playing. “Why are you asking me all of this? Why are you offering this to me of all people?”

“You have attracted the interest of a great power, one of the few to do so, and have been granted a boon.”

Perfume felt she was destined for greatness, but why would some stranger that could do all that had transpired tonight be interested in a teenage Amazon? “What makes me so important?”

“You are the right person to do what we want done.”

So there were not going to be any answers tricked out of the dark thing. Perhaps he was being sincere when he claimed he could not tell what was wanted of her. “There is no way you can tell me what you want?”

“No.”

“Then we have nothing to say to one another.” There was going to be a risk now that she had refused the thing's proposition. She shifted her bracer slightly. That was her only weapon now, that and all of her considerable hand to hand expertise, though she had a feeling neither would do any good against the being before her. “I shall go.”

“Before you go I will tell you what it is we wanted.”

Perfume shook her head in confusion. “I refuse you so now you can tell me what you wanted?”

Domino nodded. 

“Bizarre,” Perfume muttered under her breath. “Tell me then. I’ll listen.”

Domino’s voice took on a deeper tone that seemed to project a feeling of incontestable truth. “If you do not lead the Joketsuzoku, they will forever pass from existence within the next ninety years. That is their destiny. There is no way around it unless you are the leader.”

Perfume stared at him. “You’re lying,” she said. “Our traditions date back three thousand years. We won’t just disappear in the next ninety.” It had to be a trick.

“It is their destiny,” he said with the same tone of assurance, and this time Perfume believed him. “There is a way out though.” The white ovals that were eyes should have been seemed to bore directly into her soul. “If you lead there will be the potential to have an empire, one that will reach out to the stars themselves where billions will fall under the control of the Joketsuzoku. Your name will be known and revered by beings from a multitude of worlds. The Amazons will become THE power in this galaxy. That can be the future.

“But none of that will happen unless you lead the Joketsuzoku. Of course there is a problem with that. As good as you are, there is one that is better than you. One directed towards the leadership since birth. One that has defeated you and will continue to do so, unless you do something about that, like you were ordered to. You know what I mean. Think well on what I said, Perfume. Your people will be lost to the sands of time in less than one hundred years unless you do what you know must be done.”

Everything towards Domino’s end went dark for a moment, then light returned. Domino was nowhere to be seen, and Perfume could not have been happier. He had to have been lying. There was no way it could have been the truth. It was all some sort of trick.

But deep in her heart she knew it felt like the truth, and that scared her. As she went back to her cabin one thought stuck in her mind. 

“Please don’t be in Japan, Shampoo. I’m afraid of what I’ll do to you if we should meet.”

Another dimension:  
The Empire of the Five Comets:

If the Seer had been given to fits of temper she would have unleashed one now. It had happened again. There had been a gray spot in the tapestry of destiny that disappeared, leaving everything unaffected. How was it something could blind a servant to a conceptual entity? Nothing should be that powerful. Nothing other than…

She allowed the thought to trial off. That was not possible. There had to be some other explanation. Fate would not allow interference from an outside power. That was just not possible.

Earth:  
Nerima, Japan:

Nabiki called around until she discovered which hospital Ryonami was located at and timed her arrival just as visiting hours started. She went directly to the intensive care unit, more than a little panicked at her friend’s listed condition. As she walked down the well-lit corridor she remembered why she despised hospitals so much; there was never a good reason to visit one.

Nabiki was ushered into the room. Her breath caught as she laid eyes upon the injured Ryonami for the first time. Two tubes led out of her arms and she was hooked up to a heart monitor. One eye was blackened and her right arm was in a sling. Nabiki got over her initial shock and felt even more hatred towards Tarou. Death was too good for him. She was going to find a way to absolutely break him so he would enjoy a lifetime of suffering.

Ryonami was awake and managed to make out Nabiki’s form across the room. “Sempai,” she said weakly.

Nabiki grabbed a chair and settled herself next to Ryonami’s bed, clasping the injured girl’s hand. “Hush. You don’t have to say anything.”

A feeling of guilt followed that statement. That particular emotion was not one she felt very often, but it was certainly called for in this case. Ryonami was in the hospital for one reason only. Because Nabiki had asked her to do a favor, one that she knew was dangerous, but had done so anyway. Ryonami had asked for nothing in return, she had simply smiled and put her self at risk because Nabiki had requested it. Because she was a friend.

Some friend Nabiki was to her though, asking her to do something dangerous because Nabiki herself was afraid of being hurt. Oh yes. Was it any wonder she had so few friends, and those few she did have still tended to regard her with suspicion. Now, without realizing it, she had made a real, true, and trusting friend who would do just about anything for her. For the first time in her life she seriously considered the things people said about her behind her back and came to a conclusion: they were right. Even Tarou was, damn him. She was a user of people. She wasn’t worthy to have a friend like Ryonami.

“Sempai, why are you crying?”

That startled Nabiki out of her self-recriminations. Her hand went to her face and sure enough, tears were there. She had begun crying without realizing it. A moment was taken to rein in her emotions before she dared speak. “I’m sorry, Ryo-chan. It’s my fault you got hurt.”

“Oh no!” Ryonami said emphatically. “It’s my fault. I got careless and someone found out I was going around asking questions. Then he shot his mouth off and Tarou found out about it too. He tried to get me to admit it was you behind it, but I denied it all the way. I didn’t crack, sempai, no matter what he did.”

Ryonami said it with such enthusiasm a new wave if guilt washed over Nabiki. How could anyone be so nice to someone like her and not ask for something in return? “You should have told him. He wouldn’t have hurt you if you told him the truth.”

“No way!” Ryonami shouted. “He’d have hurt you twice as bad. He really hates you, but I’m just a minor annoyance to him. He just roughed me up until he was sure I wasn’t lying to him and wouldn’t do anything like that again.”

“And you won’t,” Nabiki said. “I’ll never put you in jeopardy like that again.”

“Don’t say that, sempai. I want to work for you.” She gave Nabiki a hurt look.

“You are never going to work for me again. From now on you will work WITH me. And don’t call me sempai again.”

“But you are my sempai,” Ryonami protested. 

“I’m not worthy of that title,” Nabiki answered. “From now on it’s just Nabiki or Nab-chan, if you can bring yourself to call me that.”

Ryonami’s good eye sparkled. “All right, Nab-chan. What do you want me to do next?” 

Nabiki shook her head. The girl really was unbelievable. “Get better. After that nothing else. I’m dealing you out of the next hand.”

“But sempai…I mean Nabiki, I want to help.”

Nabiki shook her head again. “Things are drawing to a close between me and Tarou. No one else is getting hurt if I can help it, especially you.” Nabiki made sure Ryonami acquiesced before continuing. “What exactly did he do to you?” She wanted to know everything so she could see to it Tarou suffered five times as much.

“He sprained my arm, bruised a few ribs, and blackened my eye.”

“That’s it?”

“Most of the things he did were to my nerve centers. They hurt a lot when he did them, but they didn’t do any real damage.”

Nabiki looked at her in disbelief. “Then what are you doing in an ICU?”

“Food poisoning,” Ryonami said as a matter of fact.

“He poisoned you?” That didn’t seem to be Tarou’s style. 

“Oh no,” Ryonami explained. “I came down with it while they were treating me for my injuries. I guess I shouldn’t have eaten that tuna fish sandwich I wrapped up in tinfoil and left out in the sun for most of the day.”

Nabiki just shook her head sadly and agreed.

[Use the vanilla extract.]

Akane looked over the list of ingredients again. Vanilla extract was not on it.

[It’ll make it taste better]

But maybe it would taste better. She picked up the extract and was about to add it when she froze. No. It had to be done exactly as the recipe said without using anything else, no matter how convinced she was it would make the end result taste better. She placed the extract back down and returned to adding the ingredients listed. Now it was time to use two cups of sugar.

[Pick up the bag on the left.]

Akane picked up the bag on the left and was about to pour the ingredients in when she stopped to read the label. It said flour, not sugar.

[It won’t make any difference.]

It shouldn’t make any difference. She was about to pour it into the mix when she forced herself to stop. She told herself once more that it had to be done correctly. It could ONLY contain the proper ingredients. She returned the bag of flour to its proper place and made certain she picked up the sugar this time and added two cups.

[Put in three more. More is better.]

She was about to add two more cups when she forced herself to stop yet again. It made sense that more was better, but what if it ended up tasting bad, like all of her other dishes? She put down the sugar.

[Jalapenos will add flavor. You can never have too many jalapenos.]

She grabbed a large handful of jalapenos, then forced herself to stop.

[Use carrots in it.]

Again she forced herself to stop even as her instincts cried out to put something else in it, the stronger the better.

[Use some eggs.]

[Put in some paprika to add taste.]

[It’s all right to bake it at twice the recommended temperature. It’ll get done twice as fast.]

[The green slime left over from your last attempt at cooking would mix perfectly with this. It’s still in the back of the refrigerator.]

Akane actually found herself breaking out in a sweat and wrung her hands. She was fighting a losing battle within herself, her instincts crying out to break down and improve the cooking in some manner, like they always did, even though she vowed not to. Assistance was required.

“Auntie Saotome! Could you help me!”

Nodoka came as quickly as she could and saw what Akane was up to. Quickly Akane explained that she wanted to finish the recipe and asked Nodoka to just watch and keep her from making mistakes. Nodoka agreed, and the two worked for the next two hours to make the dish just right. Once it was finished Akane let it sit long enough to cool off, then took it to serve to the newly returned ‘Shampoo’, who had come back after a three day absence.

Nodoka listened as Akane rushed off and offered her dish to Shampoo. The girl balked at first, small surprise considering how bad Akane’s usual attempts at cooking were. At first Nodoka thought Akane really was trying to poison her rival, but the rest of the family assured her that Akane really was that bad a cook. Naturally Shampoo was cautious now, and it might take some cajoling, but Nodoka felt the Chinese girl should give Akane the benefit of the doubt. It was so kind hearted of Akane to welcome her rival back. A lesser woman would have tried to keep Shampoo out, but Akane was genuinely happy with the redhead’s return.

She heard a third voice entered over Akane’s pleas of insistence and Shampoo’s steadfast refusals. “You quit trying to poison Shampoo!” Ranma had returned.

“I’m not trying to kill her. I just want to show her how much I missed her by making her something nice.”

“Liar! Your food is lethal!”

“Would you two please get along?!” Nodoka identified that as Shampoo. It was odd how she tried to play peacemaker between the two. It really was too bad Akane wasn’t more open minded, since Shampoo seemed to have the youngest Tendo’s interests at heart and would make a fine mistress. But that was simply not going to happen.

“NO!!!” That was by Ranma and Akane.

“I’ll try it and prove it’s all right to eat.” Nodoka was pleased to hear Akane come up with an ideal solution.

“It’ll be good that you get sick off your own food!” Nodoka winced at the jibe. Why couldn’t her son try to get along with his fiancee? It was getting worse by the day.

There was a pause before Nodoka heard two gasps followed by Shampoo saying, “Wow! She didn’t fall over or gag or nothing. Let me try some!”

“No R…Shampoo! It too dangerous!” Nodoka winced again.

“Nah! It’ll be all right. My stomach’s a lot tougher than hers.” There was a pause, then. “See? I told you it was all right. It’s pretty darn good actually. Try some.”

“NO!!!” Nodoka heard Ranma stomp out of the house. 

She gave a sigh once more. The facts were obvious. It wasn’t going to work out. Fortunately during Shampoo’s absence Nodoka had come up with an alternative solution. One that she felt would work out nicely, especially if she was right about her son.

It was an hour later that Nodoka watched as Kasumi helped wash the dishes beside her. The two of them had the kitchen to themselves and worked easily side by side. Of all the girls, Nodoka liked Kasumi the best. She felt that on many levels the two were a lot alike, and Kasumi was such a proper young lady. All she really needed was some instruction on how to properly wield a katana, and she would be perfect.

“Kasumi, dear.”

Kasumi turned from her washing. “Yes, Auntie Saotome?”

“Do you like Ranma?”

Kasumi nodded emphatically. “Yes. He’s a very nice boy and a manly man.”

Nodoka chuckled at that. At first practically every other word out of Kasumi’s mouth was about how Ranma was a man among men. Now that Nodoka thought about it, she had stuck up for Ranma the most when Nodoka first arrived. It was so obvious the girl was afraid Nodoka was going to lop of her son’s head at the slightest provocation, but it was all for nothing. As difficult as Ranma got along with his fiancee, he was still unquestionably a man among men.

“I know that, Kasumi. What I meant was do you enjoy Ranma’s company? The two of you seem to spend a great deal of time together and get along well.”

“Oh, yes. I enjoy Ranma’s company a lot. Ever since he came here he’s helped me in so many things. I think I was a bit lonely before he came, but now he’s my best friend.”

Nodoka smiled broadly at that. They got along even better than she suspected. “He’s rather handsome, isn’t he?” Nodoka was rewarded by a blush.

“Well, he is Akane’s fiancee, so I would have to say I haven’t really noticed.”

Nodoka smiled even more broadly. Yes. Kasumi really was a proper young lady. She was going to have to make the arrangements, then things could finally settle down. She would let everyone know of her decision the next day.

It was the middle of the afternoon when Nodoka gathered everyone in the dining room. The double doors to the outside were wide open, allowing the fresh air in. Once everyone was gathered Nodoka spoke up.

“It has come to my attention that Ranma is protesting vehemently over his engagement to Akane.”

Shampoo-kun looked on, confused. “Yes. I hate it.”

Akane just scowled in the Amazon’s direction, not saying a word.

“And it seems to have put a strain on Akane as well. I must admit, things appear to be getting worse, not better, between the two.”

No one could protest that.

“It is therefore my decision that Ranma need not be engaged to Akane any more.”

All but Nabiki and Kasumi’s jaws dropped at that. The two fathers were the first to recover and protested first. “But dear, it’s a matter of honor,” Genma said.

“Yes,” Soun agreed. “We promised our families would be united.”

Ranma-chan and Akane looked at each other, confused, while Shampoo-kun was almost jumping for joy.

Nodoka spoke up before she lost control of the conversation. “The houses will still be untied. I have decided to transfer the engagement to Kasumi.”

This time Kasumi added an “Oh my,” to the collective jaw dropping.

“It’s in ideal solution,” Nodoka said happily. “I know Ranma cares for her and she cares for him as well. They get along well, much better than he and Akane, and Kasumi is a wonderful woman. She will make Ranma a perfect wife.”

Genma and Soun huddled over to a corner and began whispering to one another.

“This might be a good idea,” Genma whispered.

“What do you mean?” Soun asked nervously.

“Shampoo is now proficient in Anything Goes Martial Arts and it’s obvious she gets along very well with Kasumi. Remember, they’ve even gone out on dates and were engaged once already. Since she can’t go back to her village I’ll just adopt her, then she can become a Saotome and marry Kasumi, fulfilling our obligation.” He smiled at that, then added, “And this way Nodoka doesn’t need to ever know the truth. We’ll pass Ranma’s male form as someone else. Perhaps Ryu Kumon since he took Ranma’s name before.”

“I can’t let Kasumi marry a woman,” Soun said.

“Think of it as Ranma’s curse, but in reverse. Besides, as long as Kasumi and Shampoo get along, and there’s plenty of cold water around, they’ll be happy with one another. After all, Kasumi liked him enough to originally volunteer to be engaged to him.”

Soun considered that. Shampoo was a powerful fighter, and even he could see that she and Kasumi got along well. As long as Shampoo had her cursed form, and stayed that way when she was with Kasumi, any other tiny difficulties could be overlooked.

Soun nodded his head and both fathers broke the huddle for the table. “As long as they promise to have children, and Kasumi doesn’t have a problem with it, then I approve!”

“Same here!” Genma said.

Kasumi suddenly found herself nervous and began playing with fingers. “Well,” she said. “He is very handsome. I suppose we might be able to. I guess.”

“No,” Shampoo-kun said calmly as he stood up.

“Why not, Ranma?” Nodoka asked. She had been so certain he would go along with the switch. The one thing Nodoka thought she had still in her favor was that he was not vehemently protesting it like he did with Akane.

“Kasumi is a nice girl, and someday some lucky man is going to get more than he deserves,” he smiled warmly at Kasumi, who blushed in return. “But that man is not me. I love someone else and will marry that one.”

“Ranma,” Nodoka’s voice began to raise with a warning. The katana that she had brought along for the meeting was firmly grasped in her hand. She was going to have remind him of his duties as a son. 

“I am not going to marry someone I don’t love. Get over it, Mother. This was a stupid idea you and Pop came up with.”

Ranma-chan began protesting at that point. “Ranma. Please don’t do this to your mother.”

Shampoo-kun shook his head. “It has to be this way. I’ll—“

The rest was cut off as a splash of warm water was thrown through the open doors and hit Shampoo-kun squarely in the back, triggering the change.

Ranma-chan shot to her feet and ran outside as quickly as she could. She got out just in time to see a heavily cloaked figure, its features completely hidden, leap from rooftop to rooftop at top speed. She might have been able to catch up to him, but events from within the house caught her attention.

The figure cleared twenty more rooftops before it was satisfied there was no pursuit. It was almost certain there would be too much confusion from the sudden change in front of Nodoka to allow for that, but one could never anticipate Saotome. The cloak and different clothes had worked out perfectly too. No one knew who the intruder was and once the figure got rid of the evidence no one would ever know.

Saotome had remained behind, and now there was a major mess to clean up. Ranma would never let Shampoo be harmed, so the truth would be revealed to Nodoka and he would be forced to commit seppuku. And once Ranma was eliminated the path to Akane would have no further obstructions. 

Life was good for Pantyhose Tarou.

Inside, Nodoka’s eyes took on a glazed look as she stared at her ‘son.’ “Ranma,” she said in a quiet voice. “You seem to have changed into a girl. I can’t say that is very manly behavior.” The katana was silently drawn from its sheath.

Genma’s reaction was simply to cower in a corner, while Kasumi got to her feet and threw herself in front of Shampoo. 

“You can’t kill him!” she protested. “I can prove he’s a man among men!” She paused for a second, took a deep breath, then spoke once again. “We had sex together, when he was a man, of course, and it was good sex. Very manly sex. I enjoyed it a lot and we did it a lot of times, which proves he is a man among men. I wouldn’t have slept with him otherwise.”

Shampoo closed her eyes and wondered which would be the first to strike her dead: Nodoka’s blade or Soun’s demon form. She was willing to wager it would be Soun, who she could feel was already shifting.

“ENOUGH!!!”

Shampoo opened her eyes and looked towards the speaker. 

“Kasumi,” Ranma-chan said. “You don’t have to lie to protect her.”

“But I wasn’t—“

Whatever else she was going to say was cut off by Ranma-chan. “It doesn’t matter, Kasumi. Sit down. I won’t let Shampoo be harmed. You know that. It’s time we all told the truth.”

Nodoka stared strangely at Ranma-chan. “Why did you just call my son Shampoo, Shampoo?”

Ranma-chan took a deep breath as she prepared the explanation. Rather than feeling frightened, she discovered a feeling of joy at telling her mother the truth. She should have done it when the woman first arrived, the consequences be damned. “The person we’ve been trying to pass of as Ranma Saotome is in fact Shampoo of the Joketsuzoku. What you see before you is her true form, that of a woman. She’s been cursed with one of the magical springs of Jusenkyou that transforms people when the fall in. In her case she fell into the Spring of Drowned Young Boy. The curse is activated whenever she’s splashed with cold water, but hot water reverses the effect.”

Nodoka visible trembled as she was informed of the situation. “If that is Shampoo then where is my son and who are you really?”

“The answer is one and the same.” Ranma-chan went to the kitchen and grabbed the kettle on the stove. She returned and splashed herself with the warm water. “I fell into the Spring of Drowned Young Girl. I’m Ranma Saotome.”

Nodoka’s reaction to all of this was predictable. She passed out. It was Genma who caught his wife before she slumped more than in inch. “She took that better than I thought,” he said as he examined her to be certain she was all right.

After Nodoka recovered, everyone making sure the katana wasn’t handy, Ranma took her in a room and privately explained. When he was finished Shampoo forced her way in and had a private conversation with Nodoka, explaining how Ranma had saved her life and that despite the curse, he was still a man among men, and gave several examples of such. It was a half hour later when the two of them emerged from the room. All others had waited outside for the final say on the matter.

Nodoka looked everyone over, then cleared her throat and began. “I do not approve of what all of you did the past few weeks, but I now understand why, at least. I am willing to forgive you all of your deception. You did it out of love, and I believe you would have told me the truth once you thought the danger was past. You are now wondering what Ranma’s status is in my eyes. Despite his curse I do believe he is a man among men. The promise has been upheld.”

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. 

“However, there is one thing that must be done to my satisfaction to ensure that it remains that way.” Nodoka warned.

“What’s that, mother?” Ranma still felt his feelings soar when he used that word with her.

Nodoka gave a warm smile towards her real son. “You are to marry Akane as soon as possible.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Next time: You are Cordially Invited to the Wedding of Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo.

Japanese language side note: Apparently the words meaning cross-dressing and gardening are nearly identical, which is why Nodoka accepts the ‘mistake’ in wording concerning Nabiki’s accusation so readily.

BTW: Kyoko is not playing games with Ryouga. The dream really is from her subconscious. She doesn’t even remember them when she wakes up and would deny them if it was ever implied that she would enjoy that sort of thing.

Special Thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Robert Bader  
Bloodblade  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	33. You Are Cordially Invited to the Wedding of Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendou

Prologue

Joketsuzoku, China:

Be Dea stared intently at the diminutive bird perched on her outstretched forearm. "Do you understand the message, Sparrow?"

The bird nodded its head.

"Time is of the essence, so you must find them without delay. They have to return here as soon as possible. Go now!"

The bird nodded its head once more and took off, flying as fast as it possibly could without tiring itself out too quickly. This would be the longest distance it had ever flown, but it was also the most important mission it had ever been given. The whole village's existence might depend on the message it had to deliver.

It would not fail.

Nerima, Japan:

Ai retrieved the mail as it was delivered to Uk-Chan's and began sorting through them, handing them to Ukyou once she was finished. "Four advertisements, three bills, and two invitations. One for you and one for Ryouga," Ai said.

"Thanks," Ukyou said as she plucked the invitations out of the cheerleader's hands, passing Ryouga's over to him. She opened it, not managing even a single word before she felt a pair of eyes peering over her shoulder. "Do you mind?" she said without bothering to look back.

Ai backed off. "Sorry. What's it say?"

Ukyou scanned the card. "You are..."

"...cordially invited..." Ryouga continued out loud.

At her home, Minami read her invitation. "...to the wedding of...

"...Ranma Saotome and..." Gosunkugi read the letter at his own home.

Sayuri, Malia, Chisa, and Yuka read. "...Akane Tendo."

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2

Chapter 33

You Are Cordially Invited to the Wedding of Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo

All C+C greatly appreciated  
You can contact me at sommer

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also given it a home at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Standard disclaimer:  
All the Ranma 1/2 characters are owned by the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to. Sailor Moon characters are owned by someone else too.

An Alternate Universe:  
What's gone on before (or what you really need to enjoy this fic, the condensed version) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, not realizing Mousse and Shampoo were already fighting across the springs at the same time. One mid-air collision and accidental bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma (That means Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with the Ranma. In the ensuing months many friends and foes, too numerous to list here, were met and many adventures had. In the last chapter Nodoka Saotome finally came on the scene and in a case of mistaken identity, thought Shampoo-kun was Ranma. Since everyone was afraid Nodoka would cut off the real Ranma's head if she learned the truth, they maintained the facade. The effort to pass Shampoo-kun off as Ranma worked until Pantyhose Tarou, in disguise, splashed Shampoo-kun with some hot water in front of Nodoka. In order to keep Shampoo alive Ranma told his mother the truth. Nodoka has accepted that Ranma is still a 'man among men' despite his curse, but demands Ranma and Akane be married as soon as possible. Now the wedding draws close, and certain elements don't want it to occur...

This indicates Chinese.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Perfume gazed at the docks as the gangplank was lowered and the rest of the hunt pack prepared to disembark. At long last they had arrived at Japan. It was going to feel magnificent to have the feel of the earth under her feet again, and it would be a good chance for the group to unwind for a little while. It would take the hunt pack almost a day to arrive in Nerima. Then Perfume would send them out to search for the long gone Shampoo. She was more than a little confident that Shampoo would have covered her tracks and made following her all but impossible. The search around Nerima would take a week, then Perfume would deal with things from that point onward.

The gangplank at last made contact with the dock and Perfume prepared to disembark, adjusting the oversized bracer she now had on her arm. Her foot was raised to go forward when Cabinet placed a restraining hand on the leader's shoulder.

"What is it?" Perfume asked.

"Just wait," was all the explanation the large girl offered.

Perfume stared at her second-in-command in confusion, wondering what Cabinet was up to, when Sash rushed past and headed down the gangplank.

Sash smiled cheerily as she set foot upon it. "It's so wonderful to be bacAAAHHH!"

*TRIP*

*THUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDHUDTHUD*

Perfume stared tiredly as Sash came rolling to a stop. She had rolled down the gangplank far enough that she had ended up wrapped up in her sashes so thoroughly that her arms and legs were totally immobilized.

"WWWAAAAAHHHHH! This is the exact same thing that happened to me the last time I came to Japan!" Sash cried. "It's like deja-vu all over again!"

"Imagine that," Cabinet said dryly as Perfume placed a hand over her eyes. Maybe it would all be gone when she removed it. No. The scene was still the same.

The rest of the hunt pack made their way down the gangplank while Cabinet picked up Sash as she got to the bottom.

"Thanks," Sash said graciously. "If you would untie me I can start walking on my own."

"Nah!" Cabinet said and threw Sash over her shoulder like a sack of rice. "I think it would be safer for all of us if you stayed tied up for a while." Sash's pleas were for naught as Cabinet ignored the struggling blonde and followed the others into the city.

Perfume took the lead, talking to her warriors as they walked the city streets. "You are the representatives of the Joketsuzoku. As such I want you to behave yourselves." She kept her eyes forward, knowing that the warriors were hanging on her every word. "Don't pick any fights with the locals. They don't understand our laws and you'll just be asking for trouble. We are in these people's lands. Just as we would expect them to obey our laws if they were in our lands, so must we respect theirs while here. Treat the law with just as much respect as the locals do. And for goodness sakes don't gawk! It makes you look like a bunch of country bumpkins. Do you all..." Perfume trailed off as she turned to see her group was now only composed of Cabinet, Julep, Shelf, the now unbound Sash, and a couple of others.

"Where did they all go?" Perfume asked.

Cabinet spoke up. "Rei Za and Shi Fan said something about getting drunk. Foam and Soap said they wanted to check a music store and find out what the big deal is about CDs. Tablet saw an ad for medical supplies and took off, mumbling something about an oxygen tent. A couple of others said they were hungry and wanted to eat some real Japanese food. And the rest said they wanted to check out the quality of the local males."

Perfume put her hand to her skull as she felt the headache strike. She should have seen it coming. Of course they were going to act like a bunch of children let loose in a candy store for the first time, and it would be nothing short of a miracle if they all managed to stay out of trouble. No, the odds were that most of them would screw up and end up leveling half of Japan.

"I don't like this country," Julep growled.

Perfume looked at her curiously. "Why?"

"This whole place stinks! It smells of burning fuel and of too many people mashed in close together. When do we start looking for Xian-Pu?"

Perfume shrugged. "I'm going to have to let the others play tourist for a couple of days otherwise they're going to be impossible to control. Once that's out of their system we'll be able to begin the hunt."

Julep gave an uncharacteristically evil glare towards Perfume. "I'm going to start looking for her now. The sooner we find her the sooner I can go home." And with that declaration she walked off in search of her prey.

Perfume wondered if letting her go out on her own was such a good idea. The wolf girl could be relied upon to stay out of trouble, but if anyone could discover where Shampoo was it would be the tracker. No. Perfume decided she was just being paranoid since Shampoo had to be long gone. It would be a miracle if Julep could even pick up the hint of a scent, especially since they were not even in Nerima yet.

One of the two girls next to Sash spoke up. "Since we're going to be here for a couple days, can we look for males too?"

"Yes!" her partner said enthusiastically. "The quality of guys back home just plain sucks! I've head Japanese men are great fighters and passionate lovers. This country's big enough that I'm sure we can find some decent ones to take home."

"Go!" Perfume waved them on. She could practically hear the din of battle now as over half of her pack was now seeking to capture prey of a different sort. She wanted to warn them that Japanese men were about the same as any other men from any other country, but why spoil their illusions? They were probably going to end up disappointed enough as it was since most of the males they met were going to be no match for them. It was almost certain the local hospitals were going to be overflowing with the wounded in short order.

"It really is sad," Perfume commented. "They are just so desperate."

"You got that right," Shelf agreed as she pulled out a compact and put on some make-up. "It's just pitiful the way they have to throw themselves at men. Now if they were as beautiful as me they would have to beat off their admirers with a cudgel, like I do. HAHAHAHA!"

The others just stared at their vain 'sister'. Shelf was indeed achingly beautiful, even more attractive than Shampoo. Too bad she wasn't afraid to admit it to everyone she met.

"Well at least we aren't that desperate. Isn't that right Perf..." Cabinet trailed off as Perfume suddenly got an unmistakable lovestruck look in her visible eye.

"Beautiful," she sighed and went to follow the person that had caught her attention; someone that had just passed by and was going down the street. Perfume left without a backward glance to the others.

Sash watched her leader walk off. "Did she just say that about...?"

"...that girl that just walked by," Cabinet finished while staring at where her leader had been. "But that doesn't make any sense. I've only heard her talk about guys. Weak ones usually, but just guys."

"This can't be!" Shelf said in shock. "If she was interested in women why didn't she hit on me?"

Sash and Cabinet's surprise doubled. "I thought you only liked guys," Sash said.

"I do," Shelf replied.

Cabinet barely managed to keep from facefaulting. "Then why would you want Perfume to come on to you?"

Shelf scowled at the bigger girl. "Pride, of course. I will not tolerate Perfume going after some ugly Japanese girl when she could be hitting on me. I swear I will have her make a pass at me or die trying!" Shelf applied even more make-up in just the right quantities to maximize her looks and undid two more buttons on the top of her mini-dress and hiked up the lowest part of it, leaving just barely enough to cover her bottom. This had the effect of having every man in a two block radius drool in her direction. Her path to Perfume was quickly blocked by a horde of men that fell on her in a swarm. Just as she had bragged earlier, she literally began beating a path for herself through the crowd of would-be suitors, swinging her cudgel with great effect. Unfortunately for her by the time she fought free Perfume was already out of sight.

Tsubasa had been wandering through the city, sans a disguise for a change. He had elected to go with a simple white and yellow dress and just walked around, trying to think of some way to win his Ukyou. It just wasn't fair. Upon the breaking of the love pill, Ai sundered their partnership on the basis that Ukyou hated Tsubasa and the cheerleader no longer wanted him around the chef, as though the mere presence of the blasted rabbit was not problem enough, naturally Tsubasa ignored Ai's 'advice' and stuck around as best he could.

There was some good news in that Hibiki was history, but the bad news to counterbalance that was Ukyou seemed to be taking an interest in Ai instead of Tsubasa. It didn't make any sense. He was much prettier than some butt-ugly cheerleader.

It was while he was lamenting his seeming fate that a voice spoke up behind him.

"Hello there."

Tsubasa jumped in surprise and turned around to see a pink-haired girl directly behind him. She had a broad smile on her face as she gazed at the cross-dresser.

"You startled me!" Tsubasa gasped out.

"I'm sorry," Perfume said. "What's your name?"

"Tsubasa. Tsubasa Kurenai."

"What a beautiful name," Perfume remarked. "Please excuse me. I'm usually not this forward, but I just wanted to let you know that you're very pretty."

Tsubasa smiled at the compliment. Not too many people were nice to him. He examined her more closely. She really was quite attractive, and it was obvious even to him she had a lovestruck look in her visible eye. There was something odd about the hairstyle though. He shifted slightly to so he could look at the part of her face behind the hair. "Eww!" he grimaced as he caught a glance of the other half of her face. "You have a huge scar!"

"Yes. It adds character," she said, unconcerned about Tsubasa's comment.

"It's ugly," he responded.

"I keep it hidden behind my hair. It's almost impossible to see," she said, unaffected by the reaction.

"Forget it!" he snapped. "I don't like ugly girls."

"Once you get to know me you won't even notice it. Believe me, the things I can do to you will make you forget about everything," she purred.

Tsubasa panicked as she placed her hands on his shoulders. He darted out of her grasp as he made a run for it.

"Tsubasa, dear, wait for me!"

He looked back. Sure enough the girl was pursuing him. A corner came up and he rounded it, momentarily obscuring himself from his pursuer. While out of sight he hurriedly disguised himself as a mailbox. Perfume made it around the corner herself just as he was finished changing. She continued running down the street, leaving the mailbox far behind.

Tsubasa breathed a sigh of relief. There was no way he was going to date an ugly girl. He would stick with the most beautiful star in the world: his Ukyou.

Ranma thought, no, he knew Akane looked more beautiful than ever. He gently took her in his arms. "I never imagined being married to you would be as wonderful as this."

She radiated bliss as she smiled back. "Of course it's wonderful. We're together now. Nothing can tear us apart."

Ranma was about to say something else when three identical girls, all of them about five years old and looking for all the world like little versions of Akane, surrounded the couple. Akane eased herself out of Ranma's grasp and left him surrounded by the girls.

"Who are they?" Ranma asked Akane as he stared at the children.

"They're our daughters, baka," Akane answered softly and with a smile.

Ranma bent down and examined the girls more closely. "You guys sure are pretty."

The three giggled in response.

"Now girls," Akane said. "What do you say to your father?"

All three looked embarrassed towards their father, giggled, then whipped out wooden mallets five times the size of their own bodies.

"DADDY NO BAKA!" all three shouted and proceeded to hammer their father into the ground.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Ranma bolted straight up, snapping the heavy chains that had bound him to his futon as though they weren't there.

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

He shot to his feet and burst through the door, not even bothering to open it. He simply charged through, shattering both the door and the five inch thick wooden board that had been barred across it, all without missing a step.

"-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Ryouga's fist smashed into Ranma's jaw, at last stopping his desperate flight. Ranma collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

"Nice job, Ryouga," Genma congratulated as he slapped the boy on the back.

"Looks like you were right, Saotome," Soun commented as he looked at Ranma's laid out form.

"Of course," Genma nodded sagely. "It's something of a Saotome tradition for the men in our family to panic in our sleep at the prospect of marriage. Why, it took my father and two uncles armed with clubs to bludgeon me into unconsciousness after one of those dreams. I shudder to think how far I would have run if they hadn't stopped me. Fortunately we have something even better."

Ryouga cracked his knuckles. "It's a pleasure, Mr. Saotome. As long as you're asking me to knock him out, I won't get into trouble with Ukyou." He started to leave; his job was done.

"Come on in same time tomorrow, and then the day after that. That will be the last time we need you since that's the wedding day. After the honeymoon he'll be way too tired to even think of running away. In fact, I suspect he'll be too tired to even get out of bed."

Both Soun and Genma laughed while Ryouga departed. The two fathers followed, leaving Ranma lying on the floor in the middle of the hall until Kasumi came to sweep. She paused in her cleaning long enough to drag Ranma's unconscious form back into the bedroom and laid him heavily on his futon, then returned to cleaning the hallway, humming a pleasant tune as she swept up the wooden splinters from the door.

It was about an hour later that his mother came to revive him and told him to get cleaned up. He did as he was bade and grabbed a bath. As he allowed himself to relax in the hot water, he thought about the dream. His father had warned him to expect such things, and that they would disappear after his wedding day and not to worry about them, but how could he not worry about them? They were just so frightening, not that he believed any children he had would do that to him -probably- but it was still disturbing.

Everything was happening too fast. Ever since his mother had made her ultimatum two days ago things had moved at a breakneck pace. There had been invitations to make and send out. A wedding chapel to rent. Food to prepare. A tuxedo for him and a dress for Akane were needed. He still hadn't chosen who the best man would be. At least there wasn't going to be a bachelor party. There were few male friends he had that would help with that sort of thing, and there was no telling what kind of trouble it would get him into. But there were a million and one other things to do and he was running out of time.

Why did his mother have to be so hell-bent on everything getting done so quickly? He had his whole life ahead of him, so why did he need to get married by the end of the week? Akane wasn't going anywhere and neither was he. It just didn't make any sense. If he hadn't known any better it was almost as though she was afraid of something, but what it could be was the question. To him it just felt like someone was holding a gun to his head; not at all a reassuring sensation. What he needed was someone to talk to, and there was someone nearby he could always rely on.

He got out of the bath and dressed, and once he was reasonably decent he headed to Shampoo's room. There was so much panic and confusion at the start of the whole marriage fiasco that he had not even spoken to her in the last two days. Now that he realized it a momentary pang of guilt shot through him. Ignoring the Amazon like that was really rude of him, and Shampoo had been so moody lately there was no telling what her reaction might be to his ignoring her. Perhaps she would get irate and his clothing would be destroyed once more, he thought amusingly to himself, at least until he realized she really might do it. That made him lose what little joy he originally found in the thought.

Ranma approached her room and knocked. Receiving no reply he waited a few moments and knocked once more.

"She's not answering."

Ranma turned to see Kasumi had arrived and looked concerned at the door. "What do you mean?"

"She won't answer the door. The most I can get out of her is 'go away. I want to be alone' for the last two days. I don't think she's even eaten since she had to reveal the truth to Auntie Saotome. I waited outside her door with some food for a half hour before I had to do other things. I caught Mr. Saotome eating it later. He said it was just laying in the hall and figured no one else wanted it. I'm worried about her, Ranma."

Her emotions were mirrored in Ranma. If Shampoo was behaving that way it could only mean trouble. "I'll get to the bottom of this." Rather than explain what he meant, he simply forced the door open, and went inside. The room appeared to be in perfect shape, save for the fact there was no Shampoo present.

"She was in here earlier today," Kasumi reassured him. "She told me to go away when I knocked this morning. What do you suppose happened to her? You don't suppose she's in trouble?"

Ranma searched the room, looking for clues. All of her things appeared to be present, so it wasn't likely she had gone far. Could it have something to do with her great-grandmother, or was it simply moodiness on her part? As difficult as it was for him to understand Shampoo, something inside told him that this was more than her feeling put off by his lack of attention towards her. There had to be some deeper reason than that for her disappearance.

"Maybe I should go look for her," Ranma offered. Kasumi agreed that it was a good idea, and Ranma was about to act on his suggestion when his mother spotted him.

"We need to get you fitted for your suit," she informed him.

"Later, Mom," Ranma said as he brushed past her on the way out. "I gotta do something first."

His mother caught up to him and placed a restraining hand on his shoulder and gave him a disapproving stare. "You need to do this now. There isn't any time to fool around. You're getting married in two days."

Ranma gulped at that. Any reminders of his upcoming nuptials panicked him. "I can't right now. Shampoo's missing and might be in trouble. I need to find her and make sure she's okay."

Nodoka was taken aback by that, but quickly composed herself and began explaining some things. "It's nice to know that you take your friendships so seriously, but Akane has to come first. Shampoo is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, and I'm sure that if she is truly your friend she would understand why you have to do this first. Besides, once you and Akane are married you aren't going to have much time for your...companion. Your wife will take up most of your attention and there's always the thought of starting a family to consider."

Ranma paled. "Family?"

"Of course, dear. That is part of what being married is all about," Nodoka eased her arm around his shoulder and began leading him back towards the interior of the house. "Now I don't expect to have grandchildren right away, but you should know how to raise them and what to expect. Let me give you some advice on what to do."

Kasumi watched the pair walk out of sight. There was almost a feeling of irritation in her due to Ranma allowing himself to be so easily sidetracked. She decided she was going to have to take matters in her own hands and search for Shampoo herself. It took only a moment for her to grab her purse before setting out in search of her friend.

Shampoo had left earlier in the day, unable to remain in the house any longer, not with what was coming up. It was too much for her to take. Oh, how she wanted to tell Ranma what she felt, or at least to talk him out of his upcoming marriage. But the conversation she had had with Nodoka after the revelation of her and Ranma's true identities made the witch's feelings on the matter quite clear, and what it would mean to Ranma if Shampoo 'interfered' with what had to be. She replayed the conversation in her mind...

After talking with Ranma the entire day Nodoka stopped by Shampoo's room so the two could talk in private.

"There are some things you should know about, Shampoo," Nodoka said in a stern voice.

Shampoo's disdain for the woman was still high, and with all the conversations the two had had over the previous weeks, the Amazon felt as though she had enough of Nodoka. "What is it?"

"Now that I know the truth of the situation, the things you have told me have taken on a whole new meaning. I understand what you were trying to tell me involving your relationship with my son. Allow me to personally emphasize to you the necessity of Ranma and Akane being married to one another. It will take place no matter what. If something were to happen to convince Ranma to break off the marriage, I would consider it a very unmanly thing to do. Am I understood?"

Shampoo could scarcely believe her ears. Was Nodoka saying she would force Ranma to go through with his promise if he didn't marry Akane?

"I can tell by your reaction that you understand. Good. Perhaps it would be best if you made yourself scarce around Ranma for a few days. That way any doubts he might have over the situation might be made easier. He is going to have his hands full with what he has to do, and you would only serve to confuse things."

Nodoka turned to go. "I'm glad we've come to an understanding. It's nothing personal, Shampoo, but Ranma has to do this. No matter what."

"No matter what," Shampoo bitterly said out loud as she came back to the present. She cursed the day that foul woman showed up. If only she and Genma had been ten minutes later, or earlier, then they would never have run into Nodoka and Shampoo wouldn't be in the mess she was in. Why did absolutely everything have to go against her? Why couldn't she for once have things go her way? Her entire life had been shredded into tiny pieces ever since she had fallen into that damned cursed spring. There was nothing left of her previous life, and nothing much left of the new one she had tried to forge since then. And to top things off, the man she loved was getting married to someone else and she couldn't tell him how she felt, or else his own mother was going to kill him. What a wonderful life she had. Maybe it would be for the best that she stay away until after the ceremony. She wasn't certain she could trust herself around him. It would just make things worse than they already were, as though that were possible. Yes. It was best if she simply disappeared for a few days, and maybe a bit longer than that.

Perhaps forever.

Kasumi gave up her search after several hours, finding no trace of Shampoo, and returned home. As she entered the kitchen she found Nodoka pouring over recipes in anticipation for the wedding. By her estimation, over half the food that they needed was already cooked, and the other half would be finished by the next day in plenty of time for the ceremony. Now was the ideal time for Kasumi to mention her concerns.

"Auntie Saotome?"

Nodoka looked up from the recipes and smiled. "Yes?"

Kasumi was suddenly uncertain whether or not to continue. Deciding if she did not say anything now she might regret it, she continued "Are you sure having the wedding so soon is such a good idea?"

"Why, whatever do you mean?" Nodoka asked, concerned.

"It's just that Akane and Ranma still have some problems. I don't doubt they care for each other, but things are not exactly smooth between them."

Nodoka smiled, relaxing Kasumi somewhat. "Akane and Ranma know their duties. You're worrying too much. They'll get along just fine."

Kasumi began to get anxious again. "I'm not so sure."

"Well I am. There is the promise between our families, and it must be upheld. Your mother and I agreed with our husbands when they told us what they wanted to do. Even now I'm convinced it was a good idea, and I know your mother would never have agreed to it if she had had any doubts."

"But I'm certain mother counted on being alive and preparing us for this when she made that promise. As it was, Father informed us of it just moments before Ranma and Mr. Saotome arrived, and none of us were prepared for this sort of thing. And now you want Akane and Ranma to get married on the spur of the moment. I'm sorry, but I think we should wait a while longer, at least until Ranma and Akane get more used to each other."

Nodoka looked at her with concern. "Are you saying you want to go against your mother's wishes?"

"No." Kasumi shook her head. "But since Mother died I've had to assume many of her responsibilities and this sort of falls under something I have to have a say in. I want what's best for both Akane and Ranma, and I'm not certain they should get married just yet."

"But that's what I want."

Both Nodoka and Kasumi turned their heads to see Akane had entered the kitchen. She appeared a little nervous, but kept up her courage and continued. "I don't mind it, really. You don't have to worry, Kasumi. You're right. I know Ranma and I still have our problems, but we can work them out. It just might take a while."

"You're sure about this?" Kasumi asked.

"Yep!" Akane nodded her head. "I'm not going to lie. I'm scared, but I think I'd be scared no matter what. We have a promise to keep, and I don't see why we shouldn't get married now. It might even be for the best. There's no telling what might happen if this drags on much longer. You know Ranma. Something always comes up to interfere with his life, and sometimes mine too. This might be the only chance we'll get."

"I agree," Nodoka said enthusiastically and turned towards Kasumi.

The eldest Tendo daughter appeared a little nervous herself, but nodded her head. "If you're sure that's what you really want, Akane."

"It is," she said confidently.

"Then let the wedding go on," Kasumi said, finally relaxing. If Akane was sure then she was going to have to show some faith in her youngest sister. She turned to Nodoka. "Here, Auntie, let me help you with the cooking."

Akane moved forward to offer her assistance in the preparations, but was given a different task to do by the two cooks. Neither one could really afford the time to keep the close eye on Akane that would be required to make certain she didn't try to throw something new onto the menu. Weddings were supposed to be happy occasions, after all.

As Akane left, Nodoka considered her actions concerning Shampoo. Despite the fact she was basically in the right she felt more than a little dirty over her behavior. It was beneath her to use Ranma's life as a bargaining tool, even if she was lying about forcing him to commit seppuku, but something had to be done. The Chinese girl could not be allowed to interfere in matters concerning the wedding, and Nodoka had little doubt she would either directly do it or Ranma would end up confused because of her presence. Once her son was married things would end up the way they should and Shampoo would have to accept her new role as nothing more than a friend, or else she would have to leave, which in truth might be for the best. The Amazon was simply too unpredictable to Nodoka, and to her that was not a good thing.

Once Akane was out of the room she started to really consider her actions. It was true, she had been nearly scared out of her mind over the upcoming nuptials. She had overheard Ranma say more than once things were moving too fast for him, and the truth was she felt exactly the same way. But the moment she had heard Kasumi try to talk Nodoka into postponing the wedding even more fear had lanced through her. Whatever trepidation she had felt about the wedding was overshadowed by the idea of not having one, so she quickly blurted out something to ease Kasumi's mind. Once Kasumi had relented in her protests a wave of relief had surged through Akane.

Now that the moment had passed she felt anxious about the wedding again, but the edge that had been there was now gone. She was doing the right thing. She was certain of it, and hopefully Ranma felt the same way. Maybe talking to him about it would help, if only he would open up to her instead of playing it off.

She tracked him down in his room where he was looking upwards at the ceiling. So lost in though was he that he failed to hear her enter the room. Akane cleared her throat, catching Ranma's attention.

The noise startled him for a second before he realized who had produced it. "Oh. Hi, Akane. What's up?"

There was a little speech she had planned to tell him, but now that she was before him it felt weak and inadequate. All she could think to say was, "I know this is all happening really fast, but I promise I'm going to try to make this work."

He looked at her, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"The marriage," she said quickly. The word still sounded odd to her. "I might not always get along with you, but I swear to you I'll try harder from now on." Her heart was racing faster and she felt panicked at being in his presence all of a sudden. The urge to flee from Ranma became overwhelming. "I just wanted to let you know that. I have to go do some more stuff for the wedding."

Ranma watched her go and pondered what she said. So she was going to put forth her best effort. He didn't know how that made him feel, or what he should say in return. Rather than say the wrong thing and get himself into trouble, he allowed her to leave without a word of protest then got up himself, intending to go outside and think.

He was halfway to the door when a figure he definitely did not want to be around confronted him.

"Saotome," Mousse said as he approached with a look of determination in his face.

Reflexively Ranma's fists went up. "What do you want now, Panda-boy?"

"I just wanted to..." his hand darted forward and snared one of Ranma's outstretched hands. "...to congratulate you on your marriage!" he gushed enthusiastically.

Ranma stared at him in bewilderment as the Chinese boy shook his hand vigorously. "You do?"

"Yes! I just heard the news and I think the two of you make the perfect couple," he said and handed Ranma several lucky charms. "These are for you. They're for good luck." He pointed out which was which. "This one is for a long and prosperous marriage. This one is for love, never seemed to work for me though. This one is for a safe childbirth. Make sure you have lots of children early on. It'll cement the bonds between you and Akane so that nothing can separate the two of you. And not only am I here to give you these gifts, but I will also offer my services to you. Let me guard the wedding. I'll let no one interfere with it. I swear!"

Ranma stared at him in an even more bewildered manner. "Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?"

"I just want you and Akane to have a long and successful marriage," he said quite sincerely.

"Now what's the reason for that?" Now he had a feeling he knew what this was leading to.

Mousse rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Once you and Akane are married nothing will stand between Shampoo and me. I will be the one to protect her from all that would harm her, since you're out of the way. There's no way Akane is going to let you continue your relationship with her. Now, is there anything else I can do for you? Just name it and it's yours!"

"There sure is," Ranma said as he cracked his knuckles. "Do you remember what I told you the last time you came here?"

Mousse shook his head. "No. Can't say I do."

"It was back when Ryu first showed up and that psycho gymnast poisoned Shampoo."

"Oh, that's right. You said you never wanted me around here again or you'd-"

*WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM*

Ranma took Mousse's crumpled form outside and threw him into the back of a passing dump truck. The jerk had it coming to him for even daring to suggest Ranma would abandon Shampoo to him, marriage or no. And there was the fact Ranma had promised to beat Mousse up if he ever came to the dojo again. That was one promise that was easy to keep.

Ranma decided at last to search for Shampoo, but with nothing to go on and no explosions to follow, he had to give up the search. Despite his busy schedule, he decided to drop by Uk-Chan's. As he had hoped, Ukyou was present and made time in her schedule for him.

"What's up, Ranchan?" she asked as she gave him his usual okonomiyaki.

"Oh, not much," he said nervously. "I just found out two days ago I'm getting married by the end of the week."

Ukyou laughed at that. "Considering how chaotic your life has been you should have expected something like this. How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know. I haven't had time to even think about it. It's like being in a fight and I keep getting caught off balance and can't plan the next step. Actually I'm not planning any steps. Everything is being done for me, but I'm being kept so busy getting ready for this I don't have time to consider what I'm really getting into."

"Sounds like cold feet," Ukyou commented as she gave Ranma an okonomiyaki. "I've got an idea. We could run off and get married. That way you won't have to worry about this one. We were engaged after all," Ukyou said with a straight face.

"What about Ai?"

"I think she'd get a kick out of it. She's into threesomes." The pair began to laugh at the joke. However Ranma's mirth was short-lived as he quieted down almost immediately. Ukyou picked up on it just as quickly. "This thing really has you bothered, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. I just wish I had more time. It's all going way too fast."

"Want me to bomb the wedding?"

Ranma started to laugh when he saw she was being serious. "Are you kidding?"

"Nope. I can act like I'm still angry with you for abandoning me and breaking off my engagement and trashing my romantic life. So in revenge I want to ruin your attempt at marriage and romantic bliss too. Afterwards we can say it was all a horrible mistake and I'm feeling a lot better. We can tell everyone the bombing was therapeutic for me." She shrugged. "You'll get the time you want that way."

Ranma considered it for a moment before shaking his head. "No thanks. Even if you didn't accidentally blow anyone up I think that's going a little too far. I'm just going to have to deal with this on my own." Ranma suddenly remembered something. "There is one other thing I've been meaning to ask you, though. Would you like to be my best man?"

*WHAM*

"Exactly which part of me is a 'man' in your eyes, Ranchan?" she asked as she left the large spatula on his head.

"Sorry. Geez, I didn't mean to upset you." He got out from under the large weapon.

"Well, I'll be more than happy to be your best woman," she emphasized the last word, keeping her spatula in hand.

Ranma considered that, but there was something he needed to ask her first. "Have you seen Shampoo lately?"

"No. She didn't show up for work today. Is something wrong?"

Ranma shrugged. "I don't know. It's like she's avoiding me again, and I know I didn't do nothing this time." And he had wanted to ask her if she would help him out. She did turn into a guy, so would have been more appropriate a choice for best man, but some part of him rejected the idea, and he wasn't sure why.

"Well, I'm sure she'll turn up for your wedding. I can't see her missing it. I'll let you know if I see her." Of course, if what Ukyou suspected about the Amazon's feelings were accurate, the wedding might end up being blown up after all, and Ukyou wouldn't be the culprit.

It was about a half hour after Ranma left that Ryouga wandered in, looking for directions to Uk-Chan's. Typical. Once he grabbed something to eat he worked up the nerve to talk to Ukyou. It was true that she had forgiven him for attacking Ranma, and was allowed to stay at his room once more, but he was not absolutely confident about her forgiveness. It took him the better part of a half hour before getting to the point he wanted to ask.

"You're going to the wedding, right?" Ryouga asked.

"Yep," Ukyou said happily. "It looks like I'm going to be the best woman."

"Isn't that, 'best man'?"

*WHAM*

"Then again...I could be wrong," Ryouga muttered as he felt a lump on his head swell. Ukyou sure could swing a spatula hard. And why didn't she ever do that to Ai?

"I am a woman! Got it!"

"Got it," he said quickly. The conversation had certainly started off on the right foot. "What I wanted to ask was," he gulped and worked up his courage once more. "Would you like to go with me? To the wedding, I mean."

Ukyou appeared taken aback by the question. "Why are you asking me?"

"Because I want to go with you."

"What about Kyoko?" she asked. "She is your girlfriend."

Ryouga felt a pang of guilt go through him. Maybe Ukyou was right, but he had resolved to ask Ukyou. "I...I'd really like to go with you. We haven't spent much time together or talked very much. And I like being around you."

Ukyou gave a hurt expression. "I like spending time with you too, Ryouga. Things have just been really hectic lately, but I can't. I already promised Ai I'd go with her."

"Couldn't you just break it off?" He knew as soon as the words left his mouth he had said the wrong thing.

"I am not the sort of person that does that," she answered acidly. "If I was going with you and Ai asked me to break it off I'd say the same thing."

"I'm sorry," he said immediately. "I just wanted to go to it with you really bad."

Ukyou softened a lot with that. "I understand, but you should really take Kyoko. It's what's best for everyone."

Ryouga was confused by the statement, far from an unknown feeling for him, but he accepted what she said and went to his room to lie down, depression clinging to him once again. Maybe he was never destined to be happy, because as it stood now he had no idea of what to do to make him that way.

The sparrow continued to fly, pacing itself as best as it could. It was almost to the sea of Japan, and from there it would either have to find a ship to ride on or it could risk everything and try to fly across on its own. The ship would take a while, but if it got tired during its flight it could possibly end up in the water and drown.

Too much was at stake for it to delay. It found a ship that was just setting off in the direction of Japan and rested its wings for several hours. Once it was convinced it could finish the flight under its own power, it headed off to Japan once again.

Time was running out.

The last of Queen Beryl's military advisors sat on a makeshift throne in his underground complex. There was practically nothing left since his leader had been lost in the war with the Sailor Senshi. It just wasn't fair. If he had been present victory would have been assured. But he had been left to guard an unimportant base while the others fought for glory along the frontlines, and he knew why. It wasn't his fighting skills, which were incredible. It wasn't his mind, which was that of a near genius. It wasn't for his taste in clothing, which was impeccable.

"Major Fuck Up!"

He turned to look at one of the two Youmas that had entered the room; specifically the one that had just spoken. He detached a wand from his belt and proceeded to point it at the speaker. A pencil thin beam of orange light blazed forth from the wand and struck the speaker full in the chest. In less then three seconds nothing was left but a pile of ash.

"My name is Major Fuc-Upe! Remember it!" It wasn't his fault he had a name so many others mispronounced, and it certainly was not right for the other generals to make fun of it either, when they were alive anyway.

"Umm...Major Fuc-Upe." The remaining Youma pronounced the name carefully.

"What?!"

"He had important information, sir."

"What sort of information was it?"

"A list of names of the Sailor Senshi's civilian identities. It even had pictures of them without their uniforms and in street clothes."

Fuc-Upe paled. "You're kidding."

"No, sir."

Fuc-Upe paled some more. "And I destroyed it. Oh no!" He buried his face in his hands. "Leave me alone in my misery."

"Then you don't want the copies of the documents I have?"

Fuc-Upe unburied his face and looked at the Youma. It was holding out a folder towards him. Fuc-Upe's feet touched the ground a total of three times in forty feet as he bounded over to the Youma. With a quick grab he snatched the folder out of the Youma's hands and poured over the contents. It appeared legitimate. "How did you get your hands on this?"

The Youma shrugged. "We found it outside, addressed to you. It had a note saying it was from, 'A guy that really hates Sailor Senshi'."

Fuc-Upe shook from excitement. "Summon all Youmas to the central chamber!"

It took a half hour for all of the Youmas to gather. Fuc-Upe stood at the head of the room and began his inspirational speech. "I have summoned you all..." he paused and stared in confusion. "Wait a second! Where are the others? I said I wanted everyone and there's only twenty of you. There's supposed to be over a hundred of you!"

One of the Youmas raised its hand.

"What?" Fuc-Upe asked.

"I know the answer."

Fuc-Upe felt a headache coming on once he realized the Youma was not going to add to the statement without some additional encouragement. "Well, spit it out!"

"I'm not chewing anything, sir."

Fuc-Upe refrained from vaporizing the speaker. "Please tell all of us the answer."

"Oh, right. There are only twenty of us left because you keep killing everyone that messes up your name."

Fuc-Upe looked over the room again. He hadn't realized he wiped out that many. "It doesn't matter," he proclaimed. "Twenty will be more than enough to do what must be done. We have in our possession the real names and photos of the senshi. Does anyone know what we're going to do with it?"

A different Youma raised its hand.

"Yes?"

"I know, sir. We'll get a shotgun. Then we visit their homes in the middle of the night and blow them away while they sleep in their beds."

Fuc-Upe stared flatly at him. "What kind of an idiot are you?"

"One that can pronounce your name correctly, sir."

Fuc-Upe shook his head. "Your plan is crude and too simple. It would never work. Now here is what we will do. We will locate a Sailor Senshi in her civilian identity and attack her in broad daylight."

"That's a brilliant plan, sir. Much better then mine," the Youma said.

"Of course. That's why I'm the leader and you're a lackey. Now prepare to march!"

The next two days were an ordeal for Perfume. Not only had her vision of loveliness eluded her, but the Hunt Pack was causing her problems again. Only half of the pack returned to meet her at the appointed rendezvous, the floor she'd secured for the troop at a local hotel. When she suggested they start searching for the missing girls most of the pack that was there just wanted to remain behind, especially Tablet, who wanted to sleep in her new oxygen tent. So Perfume, along with Cabinet and Shelf, went out to search for the others. There were some missing girls, like Julep, who could be relied upon to stay out of trouble. The others she had considerably less faith in.

And it turned out that Shelf was more of a hindrance than a help since she followed Perfume around like a shadow. If Perfume had not know better she would have sworn Shelf was coming onto her. But Shelf was always such a stuck up snob about how all the guys were after her that there could be little doubt Perfume was misinterpreting the signs. If Shelf was interested in women she would have bragged about bagging them as well.

Several of the lost Amazons were recovered: One was passed out in an alley. A second had been spending time at a dance club. Three were in the middle of a barroom brawl. At least they had wiped up the floor with most of the participants, the trio being seriously drunk at the time, by the time Perfume arrived. The rest of the Amazons went unaccounted for until the next day.

The missing ones turned up slowly over the course of the next day, all looking the worse for wear. Rei Za and Shi Fan were the worst, evidently getting so trashed they ended up in a tattoo parlor at some point during the night. Rei Za was practically in tears wondering how her husband was going to react to the large vine covered roses that now adorned her left breast.

Perfume decided by the third day the group had caused enough havoc playing tourist and that they needed to act like a unit once more. She gathered all of them outside the hotel, save the still absent Julep, and gave them orders when trouble came to them.

Fuc-Upe examined the picture once again and looked at the girl down below. It was a perfect match. "That's definitely Usagi Tsukino down there, a.k.a. Sailor Moon. I knew wandering around randomly would find us one of the blasted Senshi." He turned to his twenty Youmas. "Go down there and kill her!"

"Aren't you coming along, sir?" One of the Youma's asked.

"No. You are all stupid and need someone to lead you."

"You're going to lead us from the rear?"

Fuc-Upe let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes. Do you have any more stupid questions?"

"No."

"Good. Now get down there. None of those others are Senshi so you should have no problem killing her."

"Yes, sir!" the Youmas shouted and ran out of the darkened alley, all heading for 'Sailor Moon'.

The members of the hunt pack raised their heads as one and saw the twenty Youmas moving in for the attack. Sash, the true object of all their attention, pointed at them. "Those are Youmas! If you kill one its supposed to be good luck."

"One can never have too much luck," Cabinet said as she drew her massive war hammer. The rest of the Amazons followed suit.

Upon seeing the supposedly harmless women draw out weapons in a manner that suggested they knew how to use them, the charging monsters paused in doubt. That proved to be a tactical error since whatever advantage they might have had in striking quickly was lost. The hunt pack took advantage of the hesitation and rushed forward themselves.

Usagi Tsukino was sipping some iced tea when she heard the news report of Youmas attacking a nearby district. Within moments she contacted the other Senshi and rushed to the scene.

Tuxedo Kamen looked down from the rooftop at the scene of carnage below. He too had heard the news report and rushed to the scene to help out. Now that he arrived he wondered why he had bothered to come. The group of armed women in Chinese clothing were doing a fine job dealing with the Youmas, already half of the creatures were dead and the group of women had not even taken a single casualty. As he watched the fight draw to a close he recognized the twin ponytails of one of the fighters and wondered why Usagi hadn't turned into Sailor Moon and what she was doing fighting in such unusual clothing. His idle thoughts were interrupted when he noticed a Youma that tried to attack her from the blind side.

"Watch out!" he yelled as he leaped down to the attack.

Sash was aware of the attacking Youma that had tried to flank her. Her seeming unawareness was a ploy to lure her opponent closer and have it become overconfident. With a flick of the wrist a sash wrapped itself around the creature. Hot chi was sent down the material, felling the creature. Once she knew it was down she attempted to locate who it was that had shouted out the warning. It took less than a second to spot the descending Tuxedo Kamen heading towards her.

"It was a man," she sighed. As she moved forward to be next to where he was going to land she tripped over her own feet and fell forward, ending up right where Tuxedo Kamen was going to land.

*WHAM*

Tuxedo Kamen landed right on top of Sash's head, driving it into the ground and knocking her out. "Oh kami! Usagi, I'm sorry! Please wake up!" he delicately cradled the girl's head in his lap and gently tried to revive her.

Fuc-Upe looked down at the scene before him as the last of the Youmas fell to a battle axe buried in its skull. Things hadn't quite worked out the way it was supposed to. He was going to have to come up with a different plan and find more Youmas as well. But that would be done later. Much later. At the moment he had to get away to live and plot another day.

With the last of the Youmas dispatched, the exhausted hunt pack turned its attention to their only fallen sister. Mamoru's actions convinced the group he did not belong with the attacking Youmas.

"Looks like Sash got herself a husband," Shi Fan said.

"I'm not sure you can really call that a defeat," Boudoir offered her opinion. "She was fighting someone else at the time."

Perfume settled the disagreement. "It's up to Sash whether she wants to rule it a fair fight or not."

At last Sash regained consciousness and stared at the masked figure that was holding her.

"Are you all right?" Tuxedo Kamen asked, relieved that 'Usagi' had come around so quickly.

Sash sat up and pulled the mask off of Tuxedo Kamen.

"What are you doing?!" Mamoru shouted. "Do you want everyone to know who I am?"

He suddenly noticed the smile 'Usagi' gave him. Before he could react she lunged forward and kissed him full on the lips. After a seeming eternity of the passionate kiss Sash broke off the lip lock and embraced him.

"Wo de airen," she said as she snuggled against him.

"Sash has got herself a man. Good looking one too!" Foam announced. All the other girls joined in and cheered the newly 'married' couple on.

It was while Mamoru was still in Sash's embrace that the real Usagi Tsukino appeared, dressed in her Sailor Moon outfit. "M...M...Mamoru, why are you making out with my cousin?"

Mamoru looked in Usagi's direction, eyes widening as he spotted her. He looked to the 'Usagi' that was cuddling him, then back to the one dressed in the sailor fuku that appeared on the verge of tears. At that point he did the only thing one could do when confronted with two Usagis.

He passed out.

Sash looked up from her embrace to see her 'husband' had fainted dead away. It was then she finally noticed Usagi standing nearby. "Hello, cousin." She waved. "Look at the new husband I just got. Isn't he gorgeous?"

Usagi finally recovered enough to understand what Sash was saying. In a flash she was next to her cousin. "He's not your husband! He's my boyfriend!" She jerked Mamoru out of Sash's grasp.

Sash stared at her cousin in shock. "He's not your boyfriend! He's my husband! He defeated me just a moment ago. Now give him back!" She jerked Mamoru out of Usagi's grasp.

"He's mine!" This time Usagi only got him halfway since Sash was prepared for the move and held onto an arm.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

The group of Amazons gathered themselves together to let out a collective gasp and began speaking amongst themselves.

"They're identical!"

"There's two Sashes!"

"This is exceptionally bad, isn't it?"

"I don't think I can take two Sashes."

As the hunt pack looked on in dread, new arrivals came in the guise of Sailors Jupiter, Venus, and Mercury, as well as Artemis.

"Uh oh!" Jupiter murmured.

"It can't be!" Mercury said in disbelief.

Venus just stood there and stared in wide eyed wonder as Artemis spoke up. "I love Usagi dearly, but I don't think I can take two of her." It was then Sash and Usagi broke out in simultaneous tears while tugging Mamoru in-between them.

"WWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Everyone in a two block radius covered their ears and began to run away.

"We're out of here!" Perfume ordered.

"What about Sash?" Soap asked.

"It's her problem, let her deal with it. Besides my ears are starting to bleed."

The hunt pack left without further disagreements, followed by the trio of senshi and Artemis, who were very much in accord with Perfume's idea to let the three people deal with the situation themselves. As the hunt pack got out of crying range Julep finally returned.

"You'll never guess who I found." she said as she smiled.

Perfume felt dread build. "Who?"

Julep smiled even wider and began to relate her tale...

Julep was loathing Japan more and more by the second. The only remotely 'natural' spot she could find that left her relaxed enough to sleep was what the was laughingly referred to as a park, as though such a small area of green could compare to the true feeling of nature. Still it was the best she could get, so she made herself comfortable in the high branches of a tree and slept. Upon waking she headed directly to Nerima. The sooner she could locate Shampoo the sooner she could go home.

The first full day's search turned up nothing, hardly a surprise considering the sheer number of people in the area. It was worse than trying to look for a needle in a haystack and once again Julep felt angry at allowing herself to being talked into coming to Japan. But that was in the past and she could no more change that than she could learn to fly.

Several hours into her search on the second day she caught the scent of unknown flora close by. She tracked the pleasant smell to a huge greenhouse. Being unable to speak a word of Japanese she certainly couldn't read the sign so had very little idea of where she actually was. Upon entering the establishment she felt herself smile for the first time since arriving in Japan. A veritable jungle lay inside the glass-enclosed structure. As she was admiring the sights and smells she caught the sound of someone approaching. In a flash she was in a tree, hidden from sight by the foliage. There was little point in having some Japanese person bother her when all she wanted to do was enjoy her surroundings.

A lithe black-haired girl looked around, muttered something in Japanese and left in a clearly irritated mood. Julep was about to disregard the girl and prowl among the branches when she heard the girl speak a word Julep recognized. Julep chose to follow the girl, moving silently from tree to tree until the Japanese girl greeted a white robed figure with coke bottle glasses.

Julep had hung around the village long enough to hear about how Mousse would annoy Shampoo from sunrise until sunset, and how he had been rejected every time. Had Julep been closer to Shampoo she would have mentioned that if Mousse was that annoyingly persistent and wouldn't take no for an answer why hadn't she simply castrated him. That seemed to be an ideal solution to Julep, who would have done that to any male that annoyed her even half as much as the blind one did. But now his annoying tendency had become an asset, because now Julep understood that if he was present then that meant Shampoo had to be close by. Concentrating on the smells throughout the greenhouse, Julep could tell Shampoo was not present, but that elder Cologne was. That was even more confirmation that Shampoo had to be close at hand.

Julep decided it was the right of her pack leader to interrogate the elder as to Shampoo's location, and Julep was convinced the elder had to know that. The council's orders could not be countermanded in this case without grave repercussions for Cologne. She would tell the pack all they needed to know.

As Julep silently left the greenhouse she had to smile to herself. Once again she proved that she was the greatest pathfinder of the Joketsuzoku.

...and now all we have to do is ask the elder where Xian-Pu is. Our quest is almost complete!" Julep announced happily.

"Yes," Perfume said quietly, praying all the time that Shampoo was not there, though her heart told her otherwise. She was going to have to try to find Shampoo now. What other choice was there?

Ranma was pacing the floor nervously as he looked at the suit lying on the bed. It was just a few hours until the moment of truth, and he was more worried than ever. In a couple hours he was going to be a married man. And his wife was going to be Akane.

Akane Saotome.

Panic. He was feeling panic. He never got scared. No, that was not entirely true. He did get scared, he just would not ever admit it to anyone, but he was sure as hell scared now. The only time he remembered being as terrified was during the first moments of understanding when Herb locked him in girl form. That memory triggered another thought.

Shampoo.

She was still missing, though his mother had told him Shampoo told her something had come up and she might miss the wedding. It took nearly a full hour for his mother to calm him down and keep from looking for her. When he said Shampoo always told him where she was going, Nodoka claimed Shampoo told him nothing because she didn't want him to worry about it. Apparently she was due back while Ranma and Akane were on their honeymoon.

That triggered a new wave of fear. A honeymoon meant s...e...x. Sex. He was as nervous at that idea as Ryouga would be in just saying the word. He knew the mechanics of how it worked, but he never thought of doing that sort of thing with Akane. Oh, there were dreams, vivid ones at times and not all of them were about Akane, but he never consciously thought about it. What if he wasn't very good at it? It wasn't like he had any experience. Of course he was a martial artist and could learn as time went on, but he wanted to do it right the first time. It took him a while to realize the word he was looking for was satisfying. He wanted to make sure he satisfied her.

He paused in his thoughts about that. Was he ready for that step? Well, he was getting married, so wouldn't the thought be moot? He was going to have to do it. It was part of his duties as a husband.

A feeling of lightheadedness overcame him. He had never seriously considered doing that sort of thing and he was only just now thinking about it on the eve of his wedding. He wasn't ready for the whole thing. Not at all. He had to call it off.

He rushed out of the room and headed to Akane's bedroom. She was still there with her sisters and his mother. He rushed into the room only to see...

Akane in her wedding dress. He suddenly found his eyes riveted to her form, the faint hint of curves outlined by white silk, her beautiful face, the scene of total perfection before him. How long he stood there staring at her he could not say. Gradually he became aware that his mother was saying something to him.

"What was that, Mom?"

"I said it's bad luck to see the bride in her gown before the wedding," she said with an amused smile. "But I think in this case it helps more than it hurts. Do you like it?"

Ranma was still in shock as he gazed at Akane's face. Her own eyes were pointed downward, as though she was afraid of what he was going to say. For the first time since he had met her he came to one startling revelation.

"I'm glad you feel that way," Nodoka said.

"What way?" Ranma asked, confused. And why was Akane blushing while Nabiki smirked at him?

"You said she was beautiful."

"Oh." He said that out loud? It had just been a thought, one he hadn't planned on mentioning, but oddly he did not feel embarrassed by saying it verbally. He recovered as best as he could and turned to go. "I still have to get ready. I'll see you later."

He returned to his room and began to prepare himself. Maybe the wedding wasn't such a mistake after all.

Nodoka looked over the guests in the chapel once more. It was a somewhat odd collection, to be sure, but they seemed well behaved for the most part. Akane was circulating among them at the last minute, and 'explaining' the situation to them. Since Shampoo's true identity still had to be kept a secret, it was explained that due to some trouble back at his home, the 'Ranma' from China was now formally adopted and now considered a Saotome. Of course there was going to be confusion over the presence of two Ranma Saotomes, but some confusion was a small price to pay for Nodoka's son to go through life with his true name.

It was to be a western style ceremony. Akane's bridesmaids were her high school friends and sisters, all of which were present. Unfortunately for Ranma there were few men that were going to be on his side of altar. Ryouga reluctantly agreed to it, as did Gosunkugi, and a handful of others. But aside from Ryouga none of them were what Ranma could call more than casual acquaintances. And much to Nodoka's relief Shampoo had not made an appearance yet. Another hour and it would not matter. Akane and Ranma would be married and it would all be over.

Akane was greeting everyone as pleasantly as she could considering how nervous she was. Ranma had called her beautiful, and meant it. Oh how that made her heart soar. As scared as she was she could not wait for the wedding to begin. Still, in order to placate her fears she decided to talk to her friends in the hopes of calming her nerves, or at least to take her mind off of things.

She saw Minami scowling off to the side, away from the others. Concerned, she approached the ghost sweeper. "What's wrong?"

Minami continued scowling. "That dork, Gosunkugi, asked Sayuri here instead of me." She turned to scowl at his back. Almost in response to the stare Gosunkugi seemed to shiver.

"I thought you didn't like him that way."

"I don't!" Minami said too quickly and with too much force.

Akane shrugged and moved on after calming Minami down for a bit. She had other things to worry about. All of the people present appeared relaxed and not likely to pick fights with one another or disrupt the upcoming wedding. Ai was present, dressed in a revealing blue gown that made Akane feel the slightest bit of jealousy. She really was beautiful. The cheerleader captain was reminding Kyoko that her role as a bridesmaid was not to jump and cheer for Akane. Ukyou was dressed in a suit and excused herself, choosing to go in back to talk to Ranma for a moment.

The others of the bridal party were gathered in a large group. Everyone was present and would be ready to go when the time was right. The only one Akane missed was Tarou, but even she accepted that inviting him would be a mistake, and that was thanks to Nabiki. Her older sister had been adamant about Akane not informing him, saying there was too much of a chance of him and Ranma fighting one another. Akane thought Tarou would control himself if she asked, but Nabiki made certain Akane was unwilling to take the chance. It would simply be inviting disaster.

The one person that was absent that Akane did not miss was Shampoo. Of all the people that could possibly disrupt the wedding, Akane was certain Shampoo was the one that would be first in line. But rather instead the purple-haired girl had disappeared after the wedding declaration and had not been seen since. Maybe the Amazon was willing to let go of Ranma and allow him to have a happy marriage to her. If so that was a greater show of character than Akane thought Shampoo would make. Perhaps she misjudged the Amazon slightly.

On the other hand perhaps it would be a good idea to patrol the area around the chapel just once. Just in case she was hiding in the shrubs or something. Akane couldn't remain outside long. Just a few minutes and then she would have to make her final preparations for the actual wedding. Still, it was better safe than sorry.

Kensuki ducked under the chair thrown in his direction.

"WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS SOONER?!" Tarou bellowed.

"I just found out about it," Kensuki said as he cowered in a corner. "Someone was keeping this very secret. If Sayuri hadn't been going on about the dress she just got for it even I wouldn't have discovered the wedding. I guess everyone that got an invitation was supposed to keep quiet about it."

Blast, but Tarou's plan had backfired miserably. Instead of a dead fem-boy there was now an upcoming wedding, and he had been kept out of the information loop. He knew who wanted it that way, but she could be dealt with later. Rather than continuing to yell and waste time he walked out of the building and headed to the nearest chapel. Kensuki had not been able to find out which one it was, but Tarou would find it. He had something very important to announce to the world before Akane could make the greatest mistake of her life, and woe to anyone that tried to disagree with his declaration.

Hell was coming to a wedding, and it was angry.

"WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS SOONER?!" Kunou raged at Sasuke.

"I just heard Mistress Kodachi talking with Master Mousse about it. She seems distraught over his happiness about it."

"She should be. How can a beautiful tigress such as Akane Tendo be forced to marry that foul Saotome and everyone not feel as though something was amiss? Nay! Nay! Nay! A thousand times nay! I will not allow this travesty to occur. Prepare my special bokken. I will deal with this matter myself!"

The sparrow parted through some clouds. It was in Japan now. All it had to do was find Nerima, and its targets.

Mousse was happily browsing through the greenhouse, humming away to himself. Shampoo was at last going to be free of Saotome's influence. Now he had a chance at true happiness with the accursed Ranma out of his way. Aside from the day Shampoo had declared her love for him it was the happiest day of his life. The only depressing thing was Kodachi's reaction to the whole thing. She became depressed in direct proportion to Mousse's happiness. Yes, he knew it and tried to placate her, but he was simply so gleeful he could not maintain the facade for long. His Black Rose would understand in time.

He continued down a path when he heard a ringing from the door. A customer. He went to greet them with a wide smile on his face and stopped, his joy fleeing in an instant. In the entryway were close to twenty Amazons, all armed and appeared very pissed.

"Get the elder, fool!" Perfume ordered.

Mousse did not know exactly what to make of the situation. When he hesitated another Amazon he recognized moved forward, war hammer in hand. "She gave you an order, Mu-Tse. I suggest you obey it. We have orders from the council."

"What orders?" Perhaps they were going to take the dried piece of mackerel back home. That would be cause for celebration as well.

"None of your business," Perfume said abruptly.

Mousse mentally called Perfume a lot of things that would have gotten him attacked on the spot and decided to follow the 'suggestion.' Within moments he returned with Cologne.

The elder looked over the group with a careful eye. Immediately she knew the situation was grim. "What brings you to Japan and with so many of our finest young warriors?"

"We have a direct order from the council to bring back Xian-Pu. It has been decided she has been gone from home too long and must come back to answer a few questions. We have the written order if you wish to see it."

Cologne shook her head. There was no need. "I can't say I know where she is right now. Sorry I can't be of help."

"I understand," Perfume said, and bowed. She doubted Cologne would overrule the order. She could but it would get her in deep trouble with the council and she could very conceivably lose her position as matriarch if she did such a thing without a very good reason. And trying to save a law-breaking Shampoo was not going to fly with that lot.

"Mu-Tse would know!" Julep said as she grabbed him by the collar. "Wherever he is, Xian-Pu is nearby. Speak, fool! Tell us where she is!"

Mousse batted her hand away from his robe. "Unhand me you smelly creature! I haven't got the slightest idea where she is, not that I would tell you anything."

Julep was not to be denied as a set of cat's claws were out in a flash. Mousse did the same.

"They say you're quick. Now let's see how fast you really are!" Julep said with a smile

"It'll be the last thing you see!" Mousse shouted back and prepared to attack.

"ENOUGH!" Cologne shouted. "You did not come all the way to Japan to fight with one another!"

"Mousse!" Kodachi saw the threatening posture Julep had with her beloved and rushed to his side. "Who are these ruffians?"

"We is Amazons from China," Soap announced in Japanese. "We not ruffians. We is warriors. Is you warrior too? You move well."

"I am the mistress of martial arts gymnastics," she announced in her haughtiest voice. "The Black Rose herself, Kodachi Kunou. OHHOHOHOHO!"

The others covered their ears until the laugh passed.

"Now. Why are you in my store, bothering my beloved?"

Many of the Amazons looked in disbelief at the statement. Mousse had switched to another lover. That did not seem possible.

"We're looking for a purple-haired Amazon named Shampoo," Shi Fan said in flawless Japanese. "We have orders to take her back home. You don't know where she is, by chance?"

Mousse looked panicked at Kodachi and willed her to remain silent. It failed

"Why of course I know where she is. She is attending the wedding ceremony of Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome. I can show you where it is, if you like."

All of the Amazons, save Perfume, perked up at that. What luck that they had in discovering Shampoo's location so quickly. At the same time Perfume silently cursed all the gods of luck. How could Shampoo still be in Japan? Did she not fear the death that was coming for her?

"Has Silk been here?" asked Perfume of Cologne as the dread continued to build.

"I haven't seen her. Was she supposed to come by?" Cologne answered.

Perfume cursed Silk now. What had the woman been doing in the time Perfume had last seen her? Perfume had been certain Silk was going to make it to Japan with plenty of time. Now it appeared that assumption might cost Shampoo her life.

Foam approached Perfume. "Perfume, Soap and I wish to be allowed the first to combat Xian-Pu should she prove reluctant to obey the orders."

Soap seconded Foam's plea. "It would be a true test of our rediscovered double-team abilities should she resist."

Perfume looked the duo over. Soap's choice of weapon were steel combat vambraces she wore on her arms. Foam used steel toed boots as her preferred attack. Neither one was as fatal as a sword, and if Shampoo was still in Nerima, Perfume still wanted to take her alive.

"Very well, Perfume assented. "But she will be taken alive should she resist. Death is not an option."

With that as permission the entire group began preparing weapons in anticipation for another fight. Tablet observed Cabinet undoing a wrap that bound a nasty arm wound she had received at the claws of one of the Youmas. As the material was removed Cabinet pulled out a small tube and began squeezing its contents on the injury.

"What are you doing? That could get infected," Tablet warned.

"We don't have time for the wound to heal, and the wrap I have on it won't keep it from bleeding if a end up fighting. So I'm using Super Glue to keep from it from opening up and bleeding again."

Tablet shook her head. "You're crazy, Cab."

Cabinet smiled in response. "But I sure know how to have a good time."

While the Amazons talked among themselves, Mousse took Kodachi away from the group and confronted her in quiet tones so that none of others could hear. "What do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

"I'm merely helping some of your people on their mission," she answered innocently.

"They're here to take her back to China. Once they do that, or discover her curse, they are going to kill her."

Kodachi gave a wide-eyed look of surprise to Mousse. "I had forgotten. Please believe me. As much as I despise her, I don't want to see her dead." Of course she was lying. The newly arrived Amazons represented the perfect way of resolving the Shampoo matter without Kodachi getting her hands dirty, and it wasn't as though Shampoo hadn't broken the law. She had and should now pay for those crimes. All Kodachi had to do was keep a close eye on Mousse and make sure he didn't try to get himself killed attempting some kind of foolish rescue, then he would be hers.

Her concern was well founded as Mousse gained a desperate look in his eye. "I have to do something."

"Against all of them?" Kodachi asked incredulously. "You'll get yourself killed and they'll still capture Shampoo. There's nothing you can do, beloved."

"I refuse to accept that," Mousse said. "I will find a way."

"Miss Kunou," Shi Fan said, gaining the Black Rose's attention. "Which way is it to this wedding?"

She turned back and whispered to Mousse. "I must tell them the truth. If they suspect me of interfering and giving them false information, they will attack me. You don't want to see me dead, do you?"

"Of course not!" Mousse practically shouted, then quieted down. "But I won't let them hurt Shampoo."

Things were not going exactly as Kodachi had hoped, so it was time to try a new tactic. "Come with me as I lead them to the wedding. Together we will see to it they do not do anything to Shampoo, unless we have no choice. I will not allow you to throw your life away for her." Although that was exactly what would happen. She was going to have to prevent him from making any mistakes that might prove fatal to him, and keeping him close at hand was the only way to ensure that.

Kodachi turned to the Amazons. "I shall personally lead you to them." Perfume nodded her head as Kodachi moved to lead the Amazons to the wedding.

"I shall go along as well," Cologne announced, and started hopping along with the group. There were many things that had gone wrong, no thanks to the damnable Black Rose. The elder's hands were effectively tied under these conditions. If she tried to do anything in defiance of the council she would end up not only possibly damaging her own reputation and losing her position in the village hierarchy, but risked shaming her family if the truth about her foreknowledge of Shampoo's curse came to light. Cologne was going to have to look for an opportunity to help Shampoo surreptitiously, and if no such opportunity was to be had an alternative solution might have to be found.

Silk could not believe how rotten one human being's luck could be. The aptly named 'The Worthless Piece of Shit' had at last found Japan just that morning. Silk had not waited for the gangplank to be lowered; she simply jumped into the water and climbed up the dock, heading straight for Nerima. It had taken her so long to get to Japan she was certain Perfume would already have made it there and grabbed Shampoo, or sent her running. Still Silk prayed that perhaps something had delayed the hunt pack long enough for her to warn Shampoo. Time was running out.

"It's almost zero hour, Ranchan." Ukyou had remained with Ranma until the last minute, trying to calm him down. She had some moderate success in that he had not passed out or bolted in terror. "I have to get going. Your 'best woman' is supposed to wait with the others."

"Thanks for helping out, Ucchan," Ranma said as he tried to maintain a cool demeanor, failing miserably. "I guess I'm as ready as I'm going to be."

"Sorry you didn't take me up on my offer about bombing the place?" Ukyou asked.

Ranma gave her a smile. "Almost. I think outside of training for the neko-ken this is the scariest thing in my life."

"I can imagine," she said. "Good luck." And with that she exited, leaving Ranma alone with his thoughts. Of all the troubled things that went through his mind, one came to the forefront. Why couldn't Shampoo be there? It wasn't until the day before the wedding he learned how much he relied on her. If she had been there, things would have been so much easier to deal with, but when he needed her the most she had disappeared. If it wasn't for Ukyou he probably would have gone crazy. Why had the Amazon abandoned him when he needed her?

He couldn't worry about that. There were plenty of other things to worry about. Such as the wedding starting soon and having to get out there and say his vows. He was about to head towards the ceremony when there was a knock on the window. Turning to the source of the disturbance he saw Shampoo standing there on the other side of the glass, hand poised to knock again if necessary. A surge of relief passed through him as he quickly opened the window to allow her inside.

"Shampoo! You don't know how glad I am to see you. Where have you been? I've been worried sick about you." It was then he noticed her decidedly intense glare.

Shampoo kept a grim demeanor, despite his words. "I need to talk to you. Alone."

Ranma looked around the room. "We are alone."

"I mean where no one can interrupt us," she explained. "Follow me." Motioning with her hand she indicated he should go outside with her.

He looked in the direction of the chapel. "Shampoo, I can't. I gotta get out there and get..." he hesitated on the last word. "...married."

Her eyes met his. "If I mean anything to you, follow me." She simply turned away and began to walk off, not bothering to look behind her.

Ranma paused at the window as he watched her walk off. He had to go out and meet the others and get married. He did not have the time to follow some crazy Amazon that didn't seem to care about the fact he was about to get married. Let her leave. She hadn't been concerned enough to be there for him when he needed her, so why should he be late for his own wedding because of some passing whim Shampoo had come up with? That was right. He would neglect her. Let her know what it felt like to be totally ignored.

Of course he was thinking all of those things while following her. Apparently his heart knew what to do even if his head didn't.

He watched her closely as they walked further away from the chapel. He noticed she was wearing the original outfit they had met in at Jusenkyou, the one she had went to great lengths to repair after her fight with Mousse. As he now recalled she had seemed to avoid wearing it as much as she could, almost as though it had functioned as a sort of reminder of when she had received her curse, yet she had gone to great lengths to fix it. Why was she wearing it now? She should have been in something nice so she could be part of his retinue at the wedding, unless it was some weird way of telling him she didn't want to be in it.

After they had traveled a good distance away from the chapel Shampoo at last came to a halt and turned towards Ranma. "I have something I have to tell you."

"Well it had better be good. I'm supposed to be getting married right now." Ranma watched her patiently, waiting for her to say something.

Shampoo remained silent, staring at Ranma. She had planned the speech out and said it a thousand times before coming to the chapel and telling Ranma the truth, but now she suddenly discovered she had forgotten everything. There was not a single word she could think of. At the moment of truth she had panicked and lost her nerve.

She was running out of time.

"Where is he?!" Akane said irritably. Ranma was late for his own wedding. Typical. He would probably be late for his own funeral, which would be arriving sooner than anyone would suspect if he didn't show up promptly.

"Ranchan was just finishing up when I left him. Don't worry. You just get out there and he'll be on his way," Ukyou reassured Akane and everyone else present.

Akane reluctantly agreed. The music began and the members of the wedding party made their way up to the altar in order. Aside from Ranma's absence everything went well. There were no interruptions or delays and the guests looked on in anticipation.

When it was Ranma's turn to head up the aisle no one came. Akane looked on, waiting. Still nothing. It took everything she had not to flare up in anger. Where the hell was he?

The guests became restless as the music played on. Still no Ranma.

"I'm going to kill him," Akane muttered under her breath. Why did Ranma have to foul up the most important day of both their lives? He had to show up. He just had to. She could see Ranma's father and others rushing around in back, looking nervously to one another as they searched the back. From where she was, Akane could tell that they had not found Ranma.

It was then the doors to the chapel burst open. Akane felt relief as her head spun to see that the newcomer was none other than...

"I will never allow the beauteous Akane Tendo to fall into the clutches of that foul demon, Saotome! Where is he so that I may smite him?!"

Akane stared at him in disbelief. She was so sure it was going to be Ranma. Now someone had come along and disrupted the wedding, just as she figured. Then she saw someone move up behind Kunou. All she could make out was that it was someone that was male and had black hair. It must have been him.

"Out of the way, you bokken wielding twit!" Kunou was stomped into the ground and knocked unconscious by the second figure who had come up behind him, and now gathered everyone's attention.

"Listen to me, world! Let it be known that I, Pantyhose Tarou, now declare my love for Akane Tendo! My love for her is so great I no longer fear saying my name! For it is nothing compared with the idea of losing the woman I love!"

"I don't believe it!" Akane mumbled as her face began to twitch. She hiked up the skirt on her dress so that it didn't drag on the ground and walked towards Tarou.

He held his arms out. It was going just like he had planned it. He had declared his love for her with to the world with no reservations, overcoming the stigma of his name, and she was heading right towards him, ready to fall in his arms. Of course she did not look all that happy as she approached him. In fact she appeared downright angry. Nonetheless he kept smiling as she advanced towards him. She was going to fall into his embrace. She was almost on him, and then she...

...passed him as though he was not even there and headed past him and out the doors. Things had not gone quite the way he wanted. After recovering from his shock he headed outside and followed her rapidly moving form.

Akane had gone outside with one purpose in mind: FIND RANMA. The others had been unable to locate him inside, which meant he must have been outside. And if that was the case she would find him, even if it meant tracking him to the ends of the earth.

Shampoo looked fearfully at the man before her. Why couldn't she remember the words? Why now?

"Well, what is it you wanted to say?" Ranma asked as he tapped his foot impatiently.

Silence was the only response. To Ranma it appeared Shampoo wanted to say something, but there was nothing preventing her from continuing.

"Look, if you don't have anything to say I'm going to head back. The ceremony has probably started already and Akane's going to kill me if I'm late to my own wedding." He waited for a response, but still Shampoo said nothing. As much as it bothered him he gave up on the enigmatic Amazon and made to go back to the chapel.

"NO!" She would not let him just walk quietly away. Not now. She grabbed his hand and jerked him around. Once he was facing her she fell to her knees before him. Ranma just looked at her, partially in shock, and partially just because he was confused at her behavior. Shampoo had certainly acted strangely in the past, but now she had become worse than ever.

"What is it?" he asked softly, despite his irritation.

"I have something to tell you. I should have told you before, but I feared what you would say. Now I have run out of time and must tell you everything." She paused and took a deep breath.

"I love you, Ranma Saotome.

"I have for a very long time now. I think since the play when you asked me to help you. When it was me you asked to kiss you, I think that was when I understand it. This did no happen right away. I not love you at first, but as time passed and we spend more and more time together I learn what you like. You is not like any other man. You not just handsome and strong, but brave and nice, especially to me. You act just like friend and no try to make out or sleep with me like other boys do. You like me for who I am, not what I look like. I fall in love with you slowly over time, but I do love you.

"I could no tell you before because I no think you feel same way about me, and if I tell you and you don't then I have to leave and be all alone. It not like you show interest in me or challenge me to a fight, but you had your promise and I not know if that why you not do anything. I not tell you because I was afraid. I know I should be tough strong Amazon warrior that no afraid of anything, but I was. But now I must say something. I can no go on like this and no let you go without telling you how I feel. You have to know, no matter what you mother might do. I try to tell you several times, but something always came up or you got me angry at you or you act funny and make me afraid of what you might say if you find out I love you.

"I don't have anything to offer you. No dojo. No family. No money. No name. Just the sword on my back.

"My curse.

"My life.

"My love.

"That's all."

Ranma looked closely at the girl prostrated before him, head bowed to the ground. A thousand odd behaviors she had displayed over the months all made sense now. The reason she got angry with him for trying to force her to make peace with Ukyou, and the subsequent affection towards him when he said he liked Shampoo more. Her glomping of him right before the second encounter with Tarou and Perfume when he flirted with her. Risking her life to rescue him from Herb and the cold shoulder immediately afterwards, only to be followed by the Amazon practically throwing herself at him. The rage from when he groped Akari. The anger she and Akane had for one another, and hundreds of other little things. There was one simple reason for them all.

She was in love with him.

"Sh...Shampoo, I..." he stopped there. What was he going to say? What was there to say? How did he feel about her? What did he really feel about her?

"There you are!"

Ranma turned to see Akane, in her wedding gown, rushing to where he and Shampoo were. Shampoo looked up at the interruption and was even less pleased. Akane had no right to ruin her moment.

"I should have known you were behind this!" Akane directed her anger at the true culprit, not Ranma for a change, but Shampoo. "You're trying to ruin my marriage! Damn you! Why couldn't you have butted out of this?! Why did you have to try to ruin everything?! Another hour and Ranma and I would have been married! I hate you!"

Shampoo looked just as angry and got up into a fighting stance. Ranma tried to interject himself between the two and make some kind of peace when another voice spoke up.

"Why am I not surprised the Fem-boy can't keep his hands off of a woman, even on his wedding day? And people say I'm slime, not to my face, of course."

Ranma felt his anger grow at Tarou's presence. "This doesn't concern you. Get the hell out of here!"

"Real faithful guy there, Akane," Tarou said as he turned his attention to his love. "I always told you he couldn't be trusted. Just let these two run off together. He doesn't deserve you. Let him leave with the slut."

"DON'T CALL HER THAT!" Ranma ran forward took a swing at Tarou, only to have the Chinese boy duck it and return with a kick that connected to Ranma's stomach.

"I don't have to-" The rest was cut off as Ranma, unaffected by the kick, struck back with a punch to the jaw and a kick to the head. Tarou backed away to shake off the effect of the blows, concerned. That kick should have at least made Ranma back away for a second, but it had not even slowed him down.

Tarou evaded the next two punches and had an elbow of his own blocked, allowing Ranma to connect with a front kick to the chest. Tarou was not at all pleased with the way things were going. Ranma was not fighting the way he usually did. Usually it was a controlled effort when he allowed his opponent to be the aggressor, but now he was the attacker.

Tarou watched closely as he at last connected with a knuckle strike to his opponent's head. However, when Ranma's head snapped back he unleashed a series of attacks that drove Tarou back once again. Now Tarou was getting concerned. Ranma was shrugging off decent strikes as though they were less than nothing and attacking far more viciously than Tarou had ever seen before.

Tarou saved his usual jibes and concentrated on the fight, going defensive while trying to find a hole in Ranma's offense to hit through. There wasn't much to find with the speed of the attacks coming as fast and as viciously as they were. Tarou slipped a blow into Ranma's ribs, only to be struck twice by punches that were even harder than what he had connected with, and unlike Ranma he was slightly affected by them. It didn't make any sense. He had thought he was faster than Ranma, or had been, but Ranma was the quicker fighter now, and worse, he was winning, driving both of them away from the other two girls and out of sight of them.

At last Ranma broke the silence between the two. "I didn't know she loved me!"

There was an edge to his voice Tarou had never heard before. "What are you talking about?!"

"Honest! Okay, I think maybe I suspected it, but every time I did I rejected the thought!" Ranma said as Tarou blocked another blow. "I didn't need the hassle!"

"I don't give a damn about your stupid problems, Fem-boy!"

Ranma continued on, ignoring what Tarou was saying as he continued to attack. "So what if I was in denial?! So maybe I should have known! I didn't lead her on! I know I didn't!"

"I told yo-WUFF!" Ranma connected with a blow to Tarou's midsection, winding him.

"It was all her stupid fault for falling for me! I never said I loved her or wanted her or nothing like that! I never took advantage of her! I didn't need her to love me!"

Tarou recovered his wind and became enraged. Ranma wasn't even paying any attention to him. He was simply going on about his problems in the middle of a fight, as though Tarou did not exist. He allowed his anger to build and came after Ranma with an offensive flurry. "Pay attention to me when we fight, you fucking hermaphrodite!"

Ranma blocked the majority of the blows, and once Tarou exhausted his attack, retaliated.

"I didn't want her to love me! Why is she in love with me?! Why?! I don't know how to deal with her!" During Ranma's entire speech he continued attacking, landing more and more blows upon Tarou.

Tarou began to panic. This was a Ranma he had never suspected existed. Tarou had truly believed that in all of their fights Ranma had been fighting with all of his abilities, but he hadn't. Ranma had been holding back in each of their fights. Not a lot, perhaps, but enough to make a difference. A noticeable difference. Ranma was faster than before and his blows landed with more force. Tarou was suffering a tremendous beating and what blows he landed on Ranma were being shrugged off. As hard as Tarou was trying, there was no way he was going to win the fight.

At least as a human.

He went for the canteen of water at his belt and poured it over his head. Now he could handle the Fem-boy easily. There was no way he could beat Tarou in his animal form.

No way.

Moments before:

As Ranma and Tarou began to fight Akane and Shampoo squared off with one another. Equal looks of anger were exchanged between the two.

"I knew we never should have trusted you!" Akane screamed. "You're were always a little viper just waiting to stab me in the back!"

"I don't care about you!" Shampoo shot venomously back. "I only want Ranma! Leave him to me. We belong together!"

"The hell you do!" Akane shot back. "He's mine. I love him and he loves me and we are going to get married, today! There's nothing you can do to prevent it!"

"He's not yours, he's mine! He doesn't love you! He's just marrying you because of family obligation and his mother's making him do it."

"He does love me!" Akane protested. "He called me beautiful today when I was getting ready for the wedding!"

Shampoo smirked at her. "Has he ever told you he loves you?"

Akane felt a little scared when she brought that up. Ranma never had said he loved her. But Akane wasn't one to remain on the defensive for long. "No more times than he's told you he loves you."

Shampoo recoiled a bit at that, her anger rising. "He does love me! He just can't say it because of his stupid promise to be married to you!"

"When has Ranma not spoken his mind?" Akane asked, realizing she was getting the upper hand.

Shampoo's face began to redden further in anger. "He didn't know I was in love with him! Now he does and will love me back!"

"Oh, please! He's not that stupid. If he loved you he would have said something by now."

"And you think that mean he loves you? You hit him all the time. You think he enjoys that or that he calls you names because he likes you?"

Akane fell back on the defensive again. "I don't hit him much anymore," she said quietly.

"Oh, and that really makes things a lot better now, is that it? 'I don't beat on him as much as I used to'." she said, trying to imitate Akane's voice.

Akane felt her anger build at the Amazon. It wasn't like that. Ranma wouldn't let himself be hit if he didn't feel he deserved it.

If he deserved it.

Akane at last fully understood the ramifications of what she had thought. She casually pulled a hammer out and raised it above her head. Shampoo went back into a defensive stance at the expected attack, but was surprised when Akane shifted her grip on it and held it with one hand on the handle and the other on the head. She then brought it down over her knee, smashing it into two and rendering it all but useless. "I'll never hit Ranma again, no matter what!"

"What that supposed to prove?" Shampoo snapped. "You have many more of those!"

"It's symbolic, you bimbo!"

"I not a bimbo, you violent, ugly bitch!"

Akane felt her anger really skyrocket. "You don't deserve Ranma! Just go away and find some other guy who'll actually like you!"

"I CAN'T!" Shampoo shouted out, the helpless feeling she kept locked up finally being released. "I no longer have a people! I have no family! I have no friends! I have nothing except Ranma! He's all I have! Without him there's nothing left! I won't let him go! Not to you, not to anyone!"

Akane balled up a fist. "You want a fight then?"

"You got it!" Shampoo said. "We'll prove who the better woman is once and for all!"

Akane tore off the bottom of her wedding dress and then the long sleeves, freeing her arms and legs so she could fight effectively. "You've had this coming for a long time!"

Shampoo balled her own fist up. "The only reason I haven't beaten you up before is because of what you mean to Kasumi. Well that not going to save you this time!"

The fight began.

Tarou tried punching then stomping on Ranma, but he was too fast and Tarou wasn't coming close. But the handful of blows Ranma had landed meant nothing to the transformed boy. And the best thing was Ranma had quit droning on about his problems. Soon the Fem-boy was going to get tired, then he would pay.

"It screws up everything! It was all planned out for me, and now its all messed up!"

Tarou bellowed in rage at Ranma. He was beginning to ramble again. Tarou paid the words no mind as he stomped all around, trying to hit Ranma. He managed a glancing blow that sent Ranma several feet away. Slowly the transformed boy advanced on Ranma. A couple more blows and it would all be over.

"There were just some things everyone told me I had to do so I did them!"

Tarou would have yelled at Ranma to be silent, but his vocal cords no longer worked that way. And why was Ranma starting to glow black? His chi attack, the moko takabisha, was blue.

"I don't even know how I really feel about her or Akane!" The blackness grew. "I didn't want to have to figure it out! Now I got two girls that love me and I don't know what to do! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

Tarou looked on in concern. The ball of blackness was really getting big. He rushed forward to get to Ranma before the attack was unleashed.

"SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!"

He was too late.

Tarou looked on in surprise as the roaring lion bullet came at his head. Since when could Ranma use Ryouga's attack? Tarou was too close to avoid it, so he braced for the ball of pure chi energy as it struck him full in the face, hurting him.

Stunned and reeling, he stayed upright and shook off the worst of the effect of the blast. It had hurt, but he was still standing. As he blinked his eyes to clear it of the spots, a kick connected right between the legs of the very male cursed form Tarou had. More spots appeared as an intense surge of pain hit Tarou once again. There was no respite as Ranma leaped onto his snout and unloaded the amaguriken right between Tarou's eyes, sending waves of pain directly to his brain. He barely had enough to swat at Ranma, connecting lightly once again, and forced him to leave his perch and the assault.

"I can't punch my way out of this! I ain't any good at this stuff!" Ranma shouted, continuing to vent his frustrations at Tarou. He maneuvered behind the bull and began an assault into the backs of Tarou's knees. Tarou tried to lash out with his eel tail, but Ranma managed to snare it before it could strike and tied it into a knot, causing further pain in Tarou. The Chinese youth gave something more akin to a squeal due to the pain still shouting up from his groin. He shut out the agony and spun around, trying to stomp Ranma who still was too quick and darted out of the way.

"I don't want to hurt anyone, so how do I get out of it without hurting someone?! I got no idea of what to do!" A savage kick to Tarou's jaw connected, but this time Tarou landed a solid blow on Ranma, ripping a good portion of the tuxedo he was fighting in. The follow up attack failed as Ranma dodged once more, though more slowly than before. He was tiring out.

As experienced a warrior as Shampoo was, she was still fully capable of making a mistake, which was what she did regarding her fight with Akane. The first was the belief that Akane, who had improved a little bit under Ranma's guidance, was not capable of doing anything other than what Shampoo would consider clumsy attacks. That, in addition to the belief she was fighting on the side of justice and righteousness, made her believe she was going to win easily over 'the evil, ugly girl that was going to take Ranma away'. Not realizing how extensively the youngest Tendo had been training under Tarou, she made a great underestimation of Akane's fighting skills. So when Akane lunged forward in a near deadly attack for Shampoo's throat the Amazon was caught off-guard. She recovered enough to deflect most of the attack, but still took a double knuckle strike in her collarbone, nearly breaking it.

Akane was not one to give the advantage easily, and twisted her hand for a chop in the side of Shampoo's neck. The blow hit cleanly, and only a kick of Shampoo's own drove Akane back and kept her from continuing to press the advantage.

"C'mon, Shampoo! You're the one that wanted this! Don't you want to beat up the weak Japanese girl, like you've always told me I am?!" Akane lunged forward with a knee that Shampoo blocked, but was forced to back up from the sheer force of the blow. Tarou's intense workouts had paid off for Akane, giving her strength that now at least rivaled Shampoo's, if not surpassing it slightly.

That left Shampoo with a speed advantage, made more so now since Akane had added a bit of mass to her. The next several attacks were avoided as Shampoo retreated away from the blows until she recovered her wind. Now that she had a better idea of what to expect from Akane she took the fight as seriously as any other conflict.

"You should have pressed the advantage when you had the chance." Shampoo began to press an attack of her own, slowly forcing Akane into a defensive posture. Several light blows connected before Shampoo saw an opening and placed a side kick into Akane's right flank.

Much to Shampoo's amazement, Akane grunted a little and snared the foot, the unexpected reaction caught Shampoo off balance, allowing Akane to throw Shampoo to the ground while maintaining her hold on the foot. With Shampoo on the ground Akane began to twist the ankle.

"I'm not so weak now, am I? Training with Tarou may not have toughened me up as much as the Bakusai Tenketsu would, but I can take some punishment! You and your damn Amazon 'I'm better than everyone else' arrogance! Let's see you get out of this!"

Shampoo did so with a kick to Akane's face, forcing her to relinquish the hold and retreat.

"How that?" Shampoo almost smirked.

Akane was about to retort when she felt the taste of blood in her mouth. She felt inside with her tongue and realized when the kick hit her head her mouth snapped down on part of her lip, causing the blood to flow freely. "Pretty good," Akane said calmly, then attacked once more.

The fight continued, each opponent giving the other respect. The pacing started out slowly, but picked up as it continued. Each one landed a number of blows on the other, ripping their clothing and assuring a variety of black and blue marks over a large portion of their anatomies. Shampoo struck Akane squarely in the back of her head with a palm thrust, causing Akane to feel slightly light-headed. A second blow struck in the lower abdomen, shooting pain through her chest. Even as Shampoo backed off from that attack Akane lashed out with her foot, catching Shampoo squarely on the knee. Almost immediately the Amazon began to limp.

"This wasn't the way I expected my wedding day to turn out," Akane said as she caught for breath, each gasp a painful spike in her side.

"Like you deserve one with Ranma!" Shampoo snapped back.

"And what kind of a life can he expect with you!" Akane threw a fist at Shampoo, which she ducked by rolling out of the way, making certain she did not stay on her wounded leg for long. "All you have is a curse and a bunch of people trying to kill you. Do you want Ranma to live a life on the run?"

Shampoo became defensive at the accusation. "We can find somewhere far away where no one can ever find or bother us. It beats getting hit all the time or fighting with someone you're supposed to love."

Akane connected with a kick to Shampoo's chest, but was hit with an elbow in the jaw. Both girls made some distance from one another. "I won't lay a hand on him from now on, and all couples that love each other have disagreements. It's not like you two don't fight. Unless you don't count things like shredding all of his clothes and substituting rocks for his pillow."

Shampoo found she couldn't argue that one, so instead verbally attacked again. "At least I'm not forcing him to marry me. How do you know it's really love he feels towards you and not just his promise he's keeping? How do you think he'll feel in a year or two when he finally understands that he had no choice in marrying you?"

"Shut up!" Akane tried to hit Shampoo in the jaw, but the Amazon rolled out of the way again.

"We both know how much he loves being forced into things. How long until the honeymoon's over and he starts to resent you for being forced onto him? How long will it take before he feels trapped and manipulated? How long before he starts getting angry towards you because he never had a choice?"

"He had a choice!" Akane tried to get Shampoo to shut up once again by hitting her, but Shampoo simply retreated and continued the verbal assault.

Shampoo knew she was getting to Akane, the girl was shaking in anger. "Did you ever ask him?! Have you ever once asked him if he really wanted an engagement to you, or that if he could get out of it that would he take the opportunity? Did you ever once put his thoughts before yours?"

"You never did that either!" Akane shouted at her. "And at least I never lied to him about someone trying to kill me! I never maimed any of my friends!"

"SHUT UP!" Shampoo shouted out in fury and tried attacking. The assault was sloppy, and Akane landed a kick to her chest, but the purple-haired one quickly rolled to her feet and composed herself as best as she could.

"What's the matter? Can't handle the truth?" Akane taunted.

"A girl like you could never satisfy him!" Shampoo snapped back.

"At least I'm all girl. I don't change into a guy with cold water, and I don't let girls fondle me like you do!"

"I don't like girls!" It was Shampoo's turn to try to silence Akane, but the black-haired girl got out of the way. "Besides, Ranma changes into a girl too. At least I know I can love him like that."

"It's not like he wants to be a girl!" Akane said. "We can get a cure for him. And even if he doesn't all we need is hot water to change him back. And I don't even care about his curse. As long as he can live with it then so can I. But how can he know you won't try to put the moves on him as a girl? You didn't seem to mind it so much when he thought he was a girl."

"I gave him his memory back!"

"And tried to take it away when he forgot his little proposal! I overheard the whole thing. You seriously considered marrying Ranma when he thought he was a girl. That's disgusting!"

"It shows I love him!" Shampoo shouted.

"It shows you weren't considering his feelings." Akane broke the stalemate by attacking once more. The two exchanged blows before Akane continued. "You were just looking for an opportunity to weasel a way into his heart. And when it wasn't quite what you wanted you tossed it aside and tried to find another. Well he doesn't love you and never will! He loves me! I just know it!"

"Dream on! He wants someone who'll be at his side! Someone he treats as an equal, not a joke like you!" She kicked Akane's leg out from under her as the youngest Tendo went for a kick. Akane kept Shampoo at bay before regaining her feet.

Akane gained an uncharacteristically nasty glint in her eye. "So you think you'll make a good wife?"

"Yes!" Shampoo backed off a little, wondering what Akane was up to.

"Plan on having any children?"

"Of course. We'll have lots of strong babies. Girls, naturally, and maybe even some boys too. Ranma would want powerful sons."

"And just how are you going to do that?"

Shampoo looked at her in confusion. "You not know how that works?"

"I know how it works for me, but what about you? Are you planning on using Chiisuiton  
to lock Ranma as a girl?"

"Never!" Shampoo shouted in shock.

"Well I don't see how you expect to bear any kids," Akane said. "You can't even cross the street without changing. How are you going to make it for nine months?"

Shampoo suddenly went quiet and didn't respond to the comment. All she did was look towards the ground, allowing Akane to smirk at the victory. Her happiness changed to confusion as she heard Shampoo start to murmur a continuous string of 'nononono's under her breath.

"Oh come on now! Don't tell me you didn't think about that. It's so obv..." Akane trailed off as Shampoo looked at her. The only comparable look she could remember was the one Ranma had given her for getting between him and Kodachi, back when the Black Rose had poisoned Shampoo, only the look of rage in the Amazon's eyes was far more baleful even than that.

"NO!" The purple-haired demon screamed and leaped for Akane. Rather than retreat Akane lashed out with a fist, catching Shampoo full in the stomach.

Shampoo never even realized she had been hit. Her body landed fully on Akane, both knees hitting the dark-haired girl in the solar plexus, forcing the air out of her lungs. Shampoo's hands wrapped themselves around Akane's throat as she brought Akane's head up, then back into the ground, only to repeat the procedure as she continued to strangle her.

Akane was only dimly aware of Shampoo shouting out. "You lie! Say it not true! YOU TELL SHAMPOO SHE CAN HAVE CHILDREN! TELL SHAMPOO!" over and over again. That was the last thing Akane heard as she blacked out.

"I didn't ask for any of it!"

Tarou could only hear part of what Ranma was saying as he tired limping after him. Ranma had kicked him solidly in the ear, causing a noise similar to the sound of rushing water as if it was continuously running past his head. Three amagurikans into his left leg and Tarou could barely stand, but Ranma just kept darting out of reach and hitting or kicking him in the head, leg, or stomach. All three areas hurt like hell and would take days to heal. And then there was the three Shi Shi Houkoudans Ranma had used. Those hurt as much as any ten blows, and Tarou had been hit partially by two of them and the third one hit cleanly in the chest, still leaving a burning sensation. The three solid blows he had gotten on Ranma should have worn him out, but the bastard just kept hopping around and hitting Tarou. Tarou was losing the fight, and he didn't have the faintest idea on how to win it.

It was Fem-boy. Tarou should not have been able to lose to him, but he was. Another kick connected to Tarou's jaw, joining thirty others over the course of the fight. Ranma had slowed down maybe forty percent since the start of the fight, but Tarou was almost three quarters of the way gone. He tried hitting Ranma again, but the still human youth evaded the thrust, bounced off the outstretched arm, and planted a knee between his eyes, doubling Tarou's vision momentarily.

Tarou ripped up a tree and tried batting away at Ranma with it. The tactic worked in keeping Ranma on the defensive, at least until he jumped up in the air and shattered the tree in half with a kick. Tarou tried throwing the rest, which Ranma evaded and struck again.

"I don't need this stuff! All I need is my martial arts!" Ranma ranted.

Tarou really wished Ranma's earlier blow had caused total deafness. He did not need to hear anything else Fem-boy had to say.

"I didn't ask to be engaged to no one! Not to someone I never met! Not to friends I grew up with! Not to people I met on the way! No one!"

The fact Ranma hit seven more times without Tarou coming close in return during the tirade was enough to convince Pantyhose to run away so he could fight another day. He had wanted to prove his superiority to Ranma by beating him to a pulp. Tarou was the better man, and beating the living shit out of Ranma on his wedding day seemed just too perfect, and it would have been if Tarou had not been losing.

It was time to swallow his pride, so Tarou at last took to the air. Maybe he could find something heavy to drop on Ranma. Like a bomb.

Ranma looked up at the retreating form. "Get back here!" He allowed a black ball of energy to build up again, aiming at Tarou's wings. He released it, right on target.

Tarou tired to evade, but he was too tired. The ball of chi energy struck Tarou squarely in the wings, causing him to crash headfirst into the ground.

"Now all I'm doing is hurting everyone around me! I don't want to hurt anyone, but now I have to!" Ranma shouted as he advanced on the fallen Tarou.

Tarou rose shakily to his feet and lashed out with a fist, connecting solidly with Ranma. The blow sent Ranma flying nearly ten feet in the air. Tarou looked on in hope, praying that he had at last landed a telling blow in Ranma.

Then Ranma got to his feet, slowly but steadily.

Tarou was no quitter, even when he knew he was beaten. He lasted another twenty blows before collapsing to the ground, unconscious. The last cognizant thought that ran through his mind was for the Fem-boy to just wait until next time, when Tarou wasn't off his game.

"I hate this! Why the hell does this have to happen to me?! What did I do to deserve this?!" At last Ranma noticed his opponent failing to get up. He nudged Tarou's unconscious form with his foot a few times. "You awake, man?" No response.

With nothing to hit and further vent his frustrations upon, Ranma at last came out of the zone he was in. It took a moment for him to realize just how much the Shampoo situation had frustrated him and how much control he had lost over it. He probably would have felt terribly guilty about who he had pounded on if it hadn't been Tarou. Pantyhose deserved what happened to him.

After checking to make sure the beating wasn't fatal, Ranma left the monstrous foe behind and slowly walked towards where he had left Akane and Shampoo. There were some things he needed to clear up with the two of them and he was not going to wait to get things resolved.

As he made his way to where they had been, his injuries finally began to catch up to him. Now that his adrenaline had stopped flowing in the massive amounts it had, pain from all of the blows Tarou had landed set in. Only the fight against Ryu Kumon had left him in worse shape and it was going to take several days before he felt anywhere near one hundred percent.

He made it back to the site only to see Akane coughing hard and clutching her throat as she tried to get off the ground. Ranma felt his heart seize for a moment as he rushed to her side, only to see a number of bruises and cuts on her body. It took but a moment for him to piece together what had happened.

"Are you all right?" he asked, while looking over every inch of her body, making certain the injuries she had sustained were not critical. As he examined her, he thought he had pieced together what had happened. There had been a fight between Akane and Shampoo. As far as Akane had come since training with Tarou, Ranma still knew who would win. At least Shampoo had not gone too far.

Akane tried answering, but all that came out was something resembling a croak. The attempted strangulation had left her throat too raw to do anything else than mumble incoherent sounds. She settled for nodding her head.

"Are you sure? You look kinda bad." It pained him to see her that way. It didn't matter that she wanted him to consider her as a superior martial artist. Being protective of her was as automatic as breathing to him.

Akane nodded her head once more.

"I think you should go get checked out." Ranma said, still concerned.

She felt happiness at Ranma's concern, then remembered Shampoo accusing her of being a joke with her martial arts abilities. Pride made her straighten up and give an appearance of strength that belayed what pain she felt.

Her job of hiding her pain worked well. Ranma looked slightly relieved at her improved manner, despite the injuries she displayed. Nonetheless he fawned over her once more until she backed away from him, irritated at his treatment. She would be strong, even if it meant refusing Ranma's concern.

"As long as you're sure," he said somewhat more relaxed. "But I still think you should go back and get checked out." Now that he was certain Akane would be all right, he turned his attention to the other thing that was eating away at him. "I gotta know where Shampoo is."

Akane gave him a hurt look as he asked the question. She shook her head in an almost desperate plea for him not to go. He couldn't leave her for the Amazon. Akane wanted him here, with her, where he belonged. It was their wedding day, and there was still time to go through with it. And she did want it. After seeing him with Shampoo, when Akane had feared he was lost to her and felt her heart begin to shatter into a million pieces of crystal pain, that was when she could at last accept beyond any doubt that she loved Ranma Saotome and wanted to be with him for the rest of her life.

And now he was threatening to leave. It wasn't fair. Akane knew she loved him now, at long last, and she had thought he might feel the same way about her. Ranma was nearly impossible to understand, but she thought she knew him well enough to believe he loved her. However, if he left her now for Shampoo, it would all be over. He'd be abandoning her for the Amazon. Why did it have to be that way?

Her eyes beseeched with him not to go, to remain at her side so they could be together forever.

Ranma thought he understood her reluctance to let him know where Shampoo was. "I'm sorry, Akane. I really am, but I have to talk to her. Which way did she go?"

Akane continued shaking her head and placed a hand on him to restrain him. Realizing she was not going to answer he ever so gently pushed her hand away and ran off in search of the Amazon, leaving Akane trying to shout to him to stay.

All she managed to get out was "Ranma," then fell to the ground, weeping.

Shampoo had limped off in the direction of the dojo. The plan was to grab her things and set off before anyone realized what she had done. Once she put some distance between her and Nerima she could get lost in the world. Ranma was nowhere as skilled a tracker as she was and would never find her unless she allowed it.

Tears ran down her face as she got closer to her soon to be former home. She couldn't kill Akane. Shampoo's own inability to have children was not the youngest Tendo's fault, no matter how much Shampoo hated her for pointing it out. How could she have been so blind to that aspect of the curse? It was painfully obvious, yet she had not even realized the problem. Was it denial? Could that have been the reason for her overlooking her disability? She didn't think so. The thought had literally never entered her mind until Akane said it. But once she had, Shampoo's dreams were effectively destroyed. She could never bring herself to burden Ranma with a wife that couldn't bear children. Shampoo had no value as a mate, not just to him, but to anyone. She was effectively worthless.

Her fears had been well founded. Without Ranma there was no reason to remain in Nerima. To do so would just invite more misery as she would have to watch Akane and Ranma marry. Be happy with one another.

Have children.

Seeing the two of them together would be too much like being stabbed in the gut with a knife over and over again. No. She had to leave immediately.

"Shampoo! Wait up!"

Shampoo turned in fear to see Ranma chasing after her. She tried to run faster, but her limp all but insured she moved at a snail's pace. Ranma was in front of her in an instant, blocking her avenue of escape.

"Hold up!" Ranma said. "You took off before we could talk."

"I no have anything to say to you." She tried moving around him, but he remained in front of her.

"Hey, quit trying to run away! If it's about the fight with Akane, I understand. Things were a little crazy back there with everything going on, y'know. She ain't hurt bad, only a little worse than you. She's going to be fine."

"It not about her!" Shampoo spat. As far as she was concerned Akane could drop dead. No tears would be wasted on her.

Ranma looked at her, confused. "Then why are you trying to run away? We still have to talk about what you said back there."

"I take it back," she blurted out. "I no love you. You go run back to Akane."

Shampoo saw Ranma stare at her in surprise. Her attempt at moving around him failed as he recovered enough to grab her firmly by the shoulders, preventing any further attempts at escape. "What are you talking about?" he said with more than a trace of anger.

"Just what I say. I no love you." She tried to slip out of his grasp, but he simply tightened it in response.

"Wrong!" he said furiously at her. "You don't come up to me on my wedding day, practically drag me from the altar, tell me you love me, make me an emotional wreck, fight with Akane, then say 'I changed my mind'!" He began shaking her. "Tell me what's going on, and it better be the truth! I ain't putting up with any lies!"

Shampoo felt what little restraint she had placed on her emotions break down, damning Ranma the entire time. Why couldn't he allow her the dignity to bow out gracefully? Why was he going to force her to admit her inadequacy to his face? She began to cry, hating herself for her breakdown. Amazons weren't supposed to cry, and certainly not over men. "It...it because of m...my curse. I c...can...no make b...b...babies! I n...no g...good as w...wife." There. Her shame was revealed to him. Now he could call her worthless too.

He released her, looking at her in shock. "I never thought of that."

Of course he hadn't, Shampoo thought to herself. Otherwise he would never have treated a useless creature as her so nicely.

"You know what that means?" he said to her, his voice not betraying a hint of emotion.

She knew exactly what it meant. There could be no consideration of her as his spouse.

"I guess that means we'd have to adopt," he explained

Shampoo was too shocked to facefault. She just looked at the grinning Ranma before her, then grabbed him around the waist and cried the hardest she ever had in her life.

Ranma looked down at the girl, who was bawling her eyes out, in a panic. "NO! Wait! That came out all wrong! I wasn't clear in what I meant! I meant we'd have to adopt if I chose you! I mean if I choose you! Oh, I am so sorry, Shampoo! I don't mean I'm choosing you, at least now! It's too soon and I still don't know how I feel about Akane, so I gotta think about this! Do you hear what I'm saying?!"

"Yes," she blubbered out.

"That's a relief," he said.

"WWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" she continued crying.

"What'd I do now?! Why are you still crying?!" he asked the girl who held onto him just as tightly as before. Shouldn't she have stopped crying if the news wasn't that bad? Her tears, and the knowledge that he was somehow responsible for them, were driving him crazy.

"It because even though I not able to make babies, you still give me a chance!" She continued crying.

"All right!" he protested. "But please stop crying! It's making me feel like dirt. Not that maybe I shouldn't feel like that anyway for what's going to happen now. No one's going to want to hear what I have to say."

It took nearly five minutes for Shampoo to calm down enough to stop crying, although Ranma wasn't sure he was all that happy with the alternative. Now Shampoo was staring at him with a look of almost utter devotion, which made him feel very nervous. Maybe the look would disappear once the situation fully settled in.

"I don't believe it," a voice said several yards away.

Both Ranma and Shampoo turned to look at the speaker. It was said so softly and with such control that each one almost didn't believe it had come from Mousse.

"What do you want?" Shampoo asked first, halfway expecting Mousse to attack. As she looked more closely at him she could see he was crying. Not the usual hysterical tears he was apt to release when Shampoo rejected him, but soft quiet ones. "What's wrong, Mousse?"

"Everything," Mousse said softly. "I never believed you really loved him. I always thought you would see through his deceptions and come to me, or that you were somehow using him to test me and my love for you. I always thought you would come to me in the end, even after our duel. But now...now I see you really have fallen for him." For what was perhaps the first time in his life his voice now held anger directed at Shampoo. "I should be the one you're looking at, not him. He isn't worthy to breathe the same air that you do, but you'll never believe that. Even I can now see that you love him."

Shampoo nodded in response. "Yes, Mousse. He's the one I love. Now and forever."

"You'll get a chance to put that statement to the test. I rushed ahead of the group to warn you, but I was so in shock with seeing that...scene," he spat the word out venomously, "I forgot. And now," he looked over behind the others. "Now it's too late."

Ranma and Shampoo turned around to see a young woman, with wild black hair and wearing a brown and green outfit, standing at the top of a hill. She had her hands on her hips as she focused her attention on the pair.

"At last, the prey's been run to ground," she smirked.

Shampoo looked more closely at the girl. She was familiar. It took but a moment to place a name with the face. "Oh no!" she said.

Ranma stared at her in concern, tensing up. "What's going on? Do you know her?"

"Her name's Julep. She's an Amazon pathfinder," Shampoo explained.

"An Amazon?" Realization dawned on Ranma. "Un oh! That means..." he trailed off as he saw a naginta break the plain from the opposite side of the hill. Its bearer came into view, along with the others that had traveled thousands of miles with her.

Perfume looked sadly upon the purple-haired Amazon.

"It's time to come home, Xian-Pu."

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Special Thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
James Robert Bader  
Bloodblade  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	34. Those Who Would Dare Dream of Tomorrow I

Prologue

The Shogun of the Dark examined the diagram for the seventh time. The design took up nearly half of the cave and was so intricate that it would not have seemed possible for anything human to create something so elaborate. Even the greatest artists in the world would have been hard pressed to replicate the design.

It was a good thing the Shogun had had five thousand years to practice it.

He had used his magic to magnify his vision so he could examine every line, making certain it was perfect. There were absolutely no second chances. The supply of blood of all the various creatures, which made up the pattern, was too low to remake the design, and if there was even one flaw and the spell was miscast he would have to redo the entire design. No. There was only one chance to get the first stage of the spell correct. That was why it had taken him weeks to create the pattern, and why he had taken another week to check over every inch of it seven times. It was perfect.

Despite the lack of mistakes the Shogun still felt nervous. When was the last time that had happened? One hundred years ago? One thousand? Ever? His feelings were irrelevant. Too long had he awaited for this moment to allow anything to interfere with the plan. It was time to begin the incantation, lest something happen and interfere with the spell, costing him everything.

He magically floated to his place in the center of the symbol and allowed the slow build-up of energy. Once initiated he could not leave the design until the time of the sacrifice. Any disruption in the flow of magical power from him and the spell would fail. That was the other reason he needed the Eight Devils of Kimone, as well as Herb and his army. The Shogun would be vulnerable now as his magic-laden body was drained of its precious energy and he was forced to remain immobile. All it would take was one person in the wrong place at the wrong time and five thousand years of planning would be ruined.

But Herb's army was in place, keeping out all who sought to intrude upon the mountain, and the Devils could take care of anything else. Had he any ego left the Shogun would have despised his limitations. For the last one hundred years he had had to conserve his considerable magical energy, not that anyone that stood against him would have realized it. He was still powerful by most magi's standards. Given full power he could have unleashed enough force to blast a hole to the center of the earth. If he had had access to his full powers, Saffron would have fallen in an instant.

But the Shogun could not use them; the power to fuel the spell was too great. Virtually all of his magic was needed, and by the end he would have just barely enough to sustain him. Of course, by the end he would have no more need of magic. Everything would be taken care of without the need of his present abilities.

The Shogun had understood all of that from the beginning, which was why he had carefully plotted out everything so he would have just enough power at the end to complete the spell. Even the effort necessary for the resurrection of the Devils, and their subsequent enhancements, was carefully calculated and preparations for them had begun as many as three hundred years ago. And there were no other major displays of magic necessary. All had been accounted for save the boost to Herb, and that took very little power in any case. Yes. Everything was going according to plan.

So far.

The energy build-up reached its peak. He allowed one last thought of how the world currently was to freeze in his mind. Though no one else knew it, it was all going to change.

He unleashed the power, sending an invisible beam of energy from his body and through the very rock of the mountain, leaving it unaffected, and to the skies above. High overhead clouds darkened as weather patterns around Mount Phoenix changed. The wind intensified and lightning left white streaks across the gray sky. Slowly the effect spread outward from its source, causing villagers miles away to begin preparations for the coming tempest.

Other differences in the area began to subtly occur, though only a handful of the most sensitive were aware of the changes. The weather was simply the first thing to be noticeably effected. It had begun at long last, and no one, save the Shogun of the Dark, truly understood what had happened.

Nothing was the same anymore.

Ranma 1/2 Present:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 34

Those Who Would Dare Dream of Tomorrow  
Part I

All C+C greatly appreciated  
You can contact me at sommer

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also given it a home at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Standard Disclaimer:  
I disclaim I own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters. They belong to the Goddess Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.  
The concept of stand-users comes from Jo-Jo's Bizarre Adventure.

An Alternate Universe:

What's gone on before (or what you really need to enjoy this fic, the condensed version) In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou not realizing Shampoo and Mousse already a duel going on. One accidental mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma. After many months many friends and enemies were made. In the last chapter Ranma was going to be married to Akane, but Shampoo at last confessed her feelings to Ranma. As he was processing that revelation Tarou attacked and Ranma fought him while Akane fought Shampoo. Both Ranma and Shampoo were victorious, but Perfume had her Hunt Pack from Joketsuzoku had at last arrived in Japan and have cornered an injured Shampoo. Their orders are to bring Shampoo back at any cost...

This means Chinese.

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Shampoo gazed hopelessly at the hunt pack before her. All of the members were easily recognizable. It seemed Perfume had gathered together a group of some of the most talented of her generation, and virtually all of them had some sort of dislike against Shampoo. There would be no indecisiveness on the part of the Amazons; they would be eager to obey Perfume's orders if it meant a chance to get their hands on her. Of all of those set against her perhaps the most distressing thing, to Shampoo, was the presence of her great grandmother. Had she not several weeks ago claimed she would assist Shampoo in obtaining a cure? Now she was alongside a group of warriors whose sole purpose was to take Shampoo back to China.

To death.

"I said it is time to come home, Xian-Pu," Perfume repeated.

Shampoo observed Perfume more closely. Was that a look of pain on her face? It was difficult to be certain. What she could tell was that the other girls were following Perfume's lead, just like good Amazons would. That would mean Perfume was the leader of the party. It appeared Shampoo's old friend had finally gotten her chance to lead after all. How...disappointing that she would revert back to type after what Shampoo thought was a sincere, heartfelt discussion the last time they had spoken. The talk had meant a great deal to Shampoo, and she had treasured the much needed healing that had happened between them.

"I have no desire to return home," Shampoo said in Japanese, allowing Ranma to understand. "I am staying in Japan for now."

Cologne spoke up. "It is by order of the council, Shampoo. They believe you have been gone too long and need to return home. There can be no choice in the matter. You should obey."

Shampoo listened to the words carefully. There had been no mention of the curse. If the council was aware of the problem her great grandmother would surely have said something. And then there was the wording. 'Should,' not must. Was her great grandmother encouraging her to flee?

"Shampoo ain't going anywhere," Ranma stated boldly as he placed himself between the hunt pack and Shampoo.

A murmur went through the pack. Obviously Shampoo now had a protector, and the members of the hunt pack evaluated him. Soap stepped forward. "Is you Shampoo airen?"

It took Ranma a moment to remember what the word meant. "No way! We're kind of just friends, at least for now. Geez, what kinda question is that to ask?"

"Since you no airen then this no concern you, Japanese boy. Leave!" Soap commanded.

Perfume was displeased by the disruption from the break in ranks. A scowl was leveled at Soap, causing her to look mollified as she moved back to her proper position in the ranks.

With her authority once again asserted, Perfume took charge of the situation. "You must come back with us. If you don't come along willingly, we have orders to take you by force."

Despite the air of command Perfume's voice carried, Shampoo was now certain of the reluctance in her eye. Her former friend was not present by choice. Curiously, Shampoo felt relief at that. No matter what happened, the words of caring the two had previously exchanged in their last meeting had not been false. At least there was that.

Shampoo moved in front of Ranma, now placing herself between him and the pack before he attempted to do something predictably foolish. "There are reasons why I must remain in Japan. I refuse." She felt uneasy at the number of smiles that appeared among the group of Amazons. It was going to be a fight. Softly she looked at the boy beside her. "Ranma, I don't suppose if I asked you to leave to go get help you would."

Ranma gave a tired sigh. "No more than you would if I asked you. I am asking you to do that, by the way."

Shampoo couldn't help but smile, despite the seriousness of the situation. They both knew what the other one would do. If by some miracle they were to get out of the situation alive it would be a good foundation for a relationship. "No. I think I'll stay."

Perfume gave a signal for the hunt pack to form a circle around the duo. They lacked the numbers to make the ring totally inescapable should the pair try to flee, but there were enough to slow them down and give the rest of the hunt pack a chance to fall in on them. Only Cabinet was the exception, drifting off to the side, making certain she was near one of the unknown elements the others seemed to have forgotten.

Ranma and Shampoo went back to back as the group circled them.

"Ranma," Shampoo said quietly as she eyed the circle warily. "You have to promise me one thing."

"Depends on what it is," he answered.

She found it difficult to voice what she wanted. It was too likely to happen, knowing Ranma. "Promise me you won't try fighting to the death. Please."

"I promise," he said.

Shampoo was surprised at how readily he agreed. "You gave in pretty quick."

"Yep. I did," he concurred. "That's cause I'm not dying and neither are you. See, these girls don't know who they're dealing with. If they did they'd run back home to China. They're dealing with Ranma Saotome, and I always come out on top."

Under different circumstances Shampoo would have cuffed him in the head for that kind of egotistical statement, but in spite of the situation she felt her confidence raise a little. Only Ranma could make so bold a declaration about a person that had suffered the beating he had, then have a fight against impossible odds, and still believe he could achieve victory. Not that they really stood a chance.

"Besides," he added. "I still have an important decision to make. We can't be dying until that little problem gets taken care of."

Shampoo looked over her shoulder and smiled softly at him. "You're right. We'll have to make it out of this."

Perfume decided she had given them enough time to say their good-byes. Now there was one last gift she could give her one-time best friend. "Remember to take her alive!" Perfume ordered. "Leave the male to me! He's mine!"

Perfume rushed forward and brought her naginta toward Ranma, driving him away from Shampoo. As Perfume came close she said as loudly as she dared, "I won't let your male be damaged badly. I promise you that." She lunged again at Ranma, forcing him further away.

"Thank you," Shampoo smiled. At least Ranma would definitely survive. If nothing else Perfume would keep her word. Further thoughts were cut off as the injured Shampoo was confronted by Foam and Soap. That was a surprise. They had despised one another for years. When had they reunited?

"Our target is injured," Foam commented to her companion as she brought her fists up before her.

"Too bad," Soap agreed. "I was so looking forward to seeing how long a warrior of her caliber would last against us."

Shampoo remembered how well they had fought against her great grandmother several years ago. Together they were even better than RanRan and LinLin. Even if she was not suffering from her fight with Akane, she probably would have been hard pressed to defeat the combination. Those thoughts were immediately put to the test as the pair began their attacks. It took everything Shampoo had to simply evade the first series of blows directed at her.

Off to the side, Ranma saw the trouble Shampoo was in as he found himself being forced further away by Perfume's thrusts. Had he been in peak condition he probably could have taken the girl. At the very least he would have been able to remain close to Shampoo and assist her, but as it stood it took everything he had to avoid being impaled by his opponent.

"I thought you were Shampoo's friend!" Ranma accused. "How can you do this to her?!"

The words cut Perfume deeper than any blade. "I am her friend," she answered quietly, hoping the others would not hear. "I told no one of her condition. You have no idea what I risked in trying to give her enough time to get away from here. I was certain she would have fled by now."

"Well she didn't," Ranma retorted as he avoided another swing. "Now what are you going to do?"

"I have to take her back home."

"That's the same as a death sentence and you know it!" Ranma snapped. "Why don't you just kill her here and save yourself the hassle, or do you want to put her on display so everyone can see just how skilled 'Perfume the Great' is?"

"I do not!" she shot back.

"Oh, then you're afraid of getting your hands dirty?" He finally found a spot to counterattack in.

Perfume blocked the slow strike and hit Ranma in the head with the butt of her naginta, keeping her temper in check. Goading an opponent into getting sloppy was a tactic she often employed, and Ranma was displaying more than a passing talent in it. Too bad she couldn't get any pointers from him. "You know after my first encounter with Shampoo, here in Japan, that that's not the case. It's a matter law. It's a matter of honor. You're Japanese, surely you understand that."

"If it's about someone close to me getting killed because of some stupid accident that ain't even her fault, and it doesn't affect anyone else, then I don't understand it. She can't shame her people over here. Just let her go."

Perfume shook her head in a momentary opening. "If there were a way, don't you think Elder Cologne would have invoked it by now? Shampoo must come back with us no matter what."

"Over my dead body!" Ranma threatened as he tried to attack once more. She deftly avoided the blows. Ranma began moving slower as the fight continued.

"It won't come to that. That is a promise I can and will uphold." She struck out with a foot that caught Ranma in the head. There was no chance to recover as Perfume continued to press her assault.

Shampoo at last made a mistake in her dodging and went high when she should have gone low. Foam connected with a steel-toed boot in the stomach while Soap struck Shampoo in the head with a metal-encased fist. A cry of "NOOOOO!" prevented the duo from capitalizing on their advantage as a series of chains snared them.

Mousse could no longer remain out of the fight. No matter how painful it was to finally accept that Shampoo did not love him, he could not allow her to be harmed.

"TRAITOR!"

Mousse did not have time to react as a war hammer slammed into his back, right between his shoulder blades. The impact drove him into the ground and forced him to release his grip on the chains. Pain overwhelmed his senses, leaving him unable to stand up for several moments.

"I knew you couldn't be trusted!" Cabinet spat out as she raised her weapon high above her head, aiming for Mousse's skull. "I knew you'd never let us take Shampoo by force. Now prepared to be punished for your treachery!"

As she was about to bring her weapon down, a ribbon snaked out from behind her and wrapped itself around the middle of the haft. The tug that followed forced Cabinet off-balance, leaving her unable to finish the attack, but wasn't strong enough to rip the weapon from her grasp. Cabinet recovered enough to scowl at Kodachi. "That big mistake, Rose Girl."

Kodachi laughed. "Since you cannot speak my tongue, you backwater primitive, I shall demean myself by using your own language. Allow me to assure you that I would never allow a harridan such as yourself to lay one finger on my Mousse."

Cabinet untangled the ribbon from her weapon. "Fine. I'll lay my hammer on you!" Cabinet charged forward and attacked. Kodachi dodged the blow while keeping one eye on her beloved Mousse. She was delighted when he started to rise. The injury wasn't as bad as she had feared.

Her delight was short lived as Tablet finally took a step to resolve the fight and hurled a spear at Kodachi. The gymnast was forced to dodge it, but the evasion cost her as she was struck in the stomach by Cabinet's meaty fist. The Amazon connected once again in Kodachi's mid-section, winding the lithe girl and forcing her to the ground. A kick found its mark in Kodachi's stomach, leaving her immobile as she gasped for breath, flat on her back and clutching her abdomen in pain. Cabinet raised her war hammer high overhead so the Black Rose could suffer Mousse's intended fate.

Moments before, in the center of the Amazon circle, Shampoo backed off from the chain entangled pair that had been attacking her moments before. As much as she hated to admit it, Mousse had saved the day. It turned out to be a momentary reprieve as one of the Amazons threw a single chain around Shampoo's left arm. A second Amazon that was opposite from the first wrapped another chain around Shampoo's right leg.

"Perfume ordered us to take her alive," the first one said.

"But there was no mention about all the body parts being there." The other one pointed out. "Why don't we make a wish?"

Both girls jerked back on their chains. With one of her legs being pulled, and while in her weakened state, Shampoo couldn't brace herself as she felt her limbs being pulled from their sockets.

Mousse recovered enough to see the double dilemma. He had to choose which one to help first and pray that he had enough time to help the other. But whom to choose? There was no choice. He knew which one it had to be.

"I'm sorry, Kodi-chan." He turned to Shampoo and brought out a chain, nearly passing out. He was still in bad shape from the hard blow to his back. High overhead he spun the chain and aimed at one of the Amazons holding the chains around Shampoo. Just as he was about to release he found himself pivoting and threw his weapon to the right, wrapping it around Cabinet's war hammer.

Cabinet felt a tug on her weapon once more, preventing her from unleashing her blow. "What?! Again?!" she growled irritably.

Mousse was even more shocked than Cabinet. He was certain he intended to save Shampoo. Why had his body betrayed him and sought out Kodachi's attacker instead? His confusion lasted only a moment longer as an arm clotheslined him around the neck, driving him to the ground and forced him to release his weapon once more. He was finding himself on the ground all too often of late.

Julep gave a feral grin as she admired her handiwork. "You're pretty slow. I thought you'd be at least a little challenge."

He got up and tried to strike her with the Blow of the White Swan, but she easily wove out of the way. Counterattacking, she brought a fist into his face, then backed off several feet.

"That's more like it." Julep smiled ever wider as she drew out her 'cat's claws'.

Mousse brought out a set of his own, assessing her speed as at least rivaling that of Mint, if not faster. He was going to be in for a fight.

Kodachi took advantage of Cabinet's distraction and used her attack of a thousands clubs, pelting the Amazon fully with the barrage. Cabinet gave ground under the assault, but remained upright.

"You're a good fighter," Cabinet remarked as the barrage finally halted and she caught her breath. "Too bad we can't be friends." As the last word left her mouth Cabinet swung her hammer at Kodachi, who had recovered enough to evade the blow.

"One more tug ought to do it," the girl holding Shampoo's leg bantered to her comrade. She tensed her muscles for one more powerful pull, tugged back...then went flying backwards several feet, for the chain had been broken. Her opposite number did the same thing, ending up on her backside as well.

The pair got to their feet in time to see Ukyou with several mini-spatulas in hand, adding to the two she had just thrown to sever the chains binding Shampoo. She was flanked by Ryouga and a baton-wielding Ai.

"I told you I heard the sounds of a fight," Ukyou said.

"I never doubted you for a moment," Ai assured her.

Ryouga looked over his opponents. "Looks like we arrived just in time. They look like Amazons."

The girl that had been holding the chain to Shampoo's leg got up and drew a sword. "Now you find out what it means to humiliate Lin Fhall, outsider."

Ukyou switched to her battle spatula and parried the sword thrust. Ai found herself similarly engaged by the other Amazon that had pulling on Shampoo's arm.

Ryouga watched his comrades being attacked but hesitated to strike out against the Amazons. Fighting girls wasn't right. He finally worked up enough nerve to try to attacking the Amazon engaged with Ukyou, but before he could act, he was confronted by the now untangled Soap, who struck out with a steel-shod right fist. Ryouga caught the fist, and then the second, but could do nothing as Foam leaped over her partner's head and lashed out with her steel-toed boots, nailing Ryouga with kicks right below the neck and between the eyes. Ryouga was forced to let go of Soap's hands as he was driven backwards.

Instincts took over as he blocked a kick to his mid-section, then two more directed at his head. He was in the process of blocking a third one and getting ready to retaliate when Soap struck him in the back of the head with her metal fist. He swung a backfist of his own at Soap's head, which she easily ducked. Foam took advantage of the distraction by connecting with a kick to Ryouga's thigh.

He once again turned his attention towards the kicker. Now Foam left herself wide open as she drew back for a power kick. Ryouga could see it was a foolhardy move; he was easily going to be able to strike first. His punch went towards Foam's chest, but before it could connect the blow was blocked as Soap moved her arms in front of the fist, catching it along the metal forearm of her vambraces. Foam used the block to full advantage, striking out with the power kick to Ryouga's upper body, sending him flying more than ten feet away. The two Amazons moved in for the finish.

"You were right," Soap said to her partner. "He is a good test of our abilities."

Foam nodded in agreement and continued to attack.

Ukyou had rendered her opponent nearly senseless when she saw Ryouga's predicament. She was about to run over to the fighters when a long length of cloth wrapped itself around her arms, binding them together and forcing her to drop her spatula. Ukyou turned to look at her attacker.

"Don't worry, everyone!" Sash shouted out heroically. "I've come to save the day!" She sent a longer piece around Ukyou's legs, binding them and dropping her to the ground. "That'll keep you out of trouble," Sash proudly announced.

Ai noticed Ukyou had fallen and panicked as she thought of what the blonde might do to the prone girl. Her attempt to save Ukyou failed as another Amazon joined in attacking her. Ai could not withstand the double onslaught while trying to make her way to Ukyou, and suffered a multitude of blows over her entire body.

As Ai nailed one of her attackers in the head with her baton the other Amazon drew back a sword and prepared to run her through. As she drove her weapon forward, a pom-pom attached itself to her face. Trying to pull it off with one hand didn't work, so the Amazon discarded her sword and tried to remove the offending object. It still could not be removed. Further attempts at eliminating it were halted as the blinded girl was kicked in the stomach and the back of the head.

"You can't kill my captain," the newly arrived Kyoko said. "We have another competition in three weeks."

"Thanks," Ai hurled her remaining opponent several feet away and was about to say something else when Kyoko spotted Ryouga.

"Oh no! I'm coming, Ryouga-kun!" She ran off to help him, but had made it no more than halfway when Sash began spinning her weighted sashes at the cheerleader, forcing Kyoko to avoid them and preventing her from closing the distance to Ryouga. Ai had no time to help out either as she found herself set upon by the paired fighting team of Rei Za and Shi Fan. She was struck a number of times in rapid succession once more, unable to defend herself.

Shampoo's break from attention did not last long as another Amazon swung her staff towards the purple-haired one. As Shampoo remembered it, the girl was very skilled save for one thing.

She allowed her Amazon sister to move in close, taking a glancing blow from the staff. "I know you!" Shampoo declared. "You're So Fu. The one with the glass..."

Shampoo connected with a blow to So Fu's mouth, dropping her instantly.

"...jaw."

It really was remarkable that the girl hadn't tried to cover her weakness better, not that Shampoo wasn't delighted by the hole in her defense. There was no time to enjoy her victory as two more Amazons came after her, forcing her to do nothing more than dodge once again.

Akane finally arrived to witness the carnage. At first she had remained behind, weeping, convinced Ranma had rejected her when he left for Shampoo. Then the sounds of fighting broke out in the direction Ranma and Shampoo had taken. Her feet moved of their own accord as her concern for Ranma's safety outweighed her pain for the moment and she rushed to the noise. Now she could see a number of women dressed in Chinese style clothing and bearing weapons, surrounding Shampoo and assaulting her friends.

"Amazons," Akane said out loud. They could solve everything. All they had to do was take Shampoo back to China and out of Akane's hair. Of course that would also mean Shampoo's death.

A soft sigh parted from Akane's lips. It did not matter what Shampoo did to her or how much she hated the Amazon. No one deserved to be killed. Akane went forward and prepared to risk her life to save someone she didn't even like.

The first one she encountered was Boudoir. Before Akane knew it the Amazon charged forward with her battle ax and attacked.

Ai suffered a punch to her kidneys as she evaded a swordstroke from Shi Fan. Tears formed in her eyes, not from the tremendous beating she was receiving at the hands of the synchronized pair, but because she was failing Ukyou. Her chef was still tied up and left to the mercy of any passing Amazon. Ai swore she would not succumb to her injuries until she could save Ukyou. Nothing could stop her.

Rei Za and Shi Fan backed off for a moment, then nodded towards one another. It was time to finish Ai off, and they were going to do it with style. Rei Za leaped atop Shi Fan's shoulders.

"Two Bodies Double Team Attack!" They began spinning around.

Perfume heard the battle cry and spared a glance in their direction. "YOU IDIOTS! We don't have time for you to screw everything up!"

Shi Fan was about to shout back they were executing the move perfectly when Rei Za went flying off of her shoulders. "Oops!" It appeared they were going to need a little more work on that particular maneuver.

Rei Za's flight ended abruptly when she struck Tablet squarely on the head, knocking her out. Rei Za herself was too stunned to apologize to the unconscious girl.

Shi Fan grimaced from where she stood and prayed her partner was all right. She returned her attention to Ai, who had gained a second wind and was ready to fight once more. Shi Fan swung one of her twin scimitars. Ai deflected the first two thrusts with her baton, but had one of the attacks lightly score across her chest, causing a small rivulet of blood to trickle down. The fourth strike never came as a bolt of electricity struck the sword, shocking Rei Za into unconsciousness.

Ai looked in the direction the bolt had originated. Minami gave Ai a wide smile and flashed her standard V for victory sign. "Looks like Ukyou's bed won't go cold tonight after all." Ai lacked the energy to correct her savior.

Minami examined the scene before her with disgust. "More martial arts crap," she complained. "All right ladies. Time to kiss your collective butts good-bye cause this ghost sweeper is going to cut loose!" She cast a spell at an Amazon, causing the ground to explode around her, knocking the warrior out. "Too easy," Minami said as she drew out the hilt to her magical blade.

"Look out!"

Ai's warning came too late as the recovered Rei Za hurled her mace at the back of Minami's head. The blow connected, knocking the ghost sweeper out. Ai's own breather was short lived as her original opponent recovered enough to attack her once more. To make matters worse Rei Za joined in, driving Ai on the defensive once more.

"The boy's phenomenal!" Foam proclaimed.

Soap agreed. "I can't believe how much punishment he can absorb!"

"Make sure you don't damage him permanently. We'll take him back home with us!" Foam allowed herself a lascivious chuckle while kicking Ryouga in the ribs.

Soap laughed too as she blocked the retaliatory fist Ryouga aimed at Foam. "But who gets him first?"

Old instincts flared as Foam wanted to say she should be allowed first crack at him, of course, but she dismissed the feeling, allowing one of friendship to overwhelm it. "We'll share. That'll really test his endurance."

As Foam finished her statement Ryouga remained motionless for just a moment. Both girls saw the opening and took advantage of it, lashing out at Ryouga with a double blow of steel. Ryouga didn't move as he braced himself and allowed both blows to connect, absorbing the punishment and shutting out the pain. For a moment both Amazons mirrored Ryouga's action by remaining stationary as well, though theirs was from the shock that Ryouga could take such blows rather than from any plan. It was his turn as he grabbed both girls by their collars and roughly brought their heads together, then tossed them twenty feet away. Both girls struggled to get up.

"That's one tough man," Soap barely managed to get out.

Foam tried shaking her head free of its cobwebs. "I can't decide if he's too frisky or if I want him more than ever. Maybe I'd better wait until my ears stop ringing before I decide."

Perfume hit Ranma with a lightning fast series of punches and kicks to the chest, knocking him down for the tenth time. He got back to his feet and charged Perfume once more. She evaded the attack and struck him in the stomach.

"Stay down, you idiot! You can't win!" Much to her disgust he slowly rose to his feet again. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep her promise if the fool was going to continue to get up when he should have been lying out cold on the ground. As beaten as he was, he couldn't possibly defeat her. The most he had been able to do was connect with couple of punches early in the fight, and they were weak things that she barely took the time to notice.

"Guess...again." He tried a leap kick, a painfully slow one in which she caught him at the ankle and threw him in the ground. He twisted out of her grasp and got to his feet once more, only to have Perfume strike him with an elbow and knee, driving him to the ground again.

Perfume was left wondering if running him through with her naginta would even be enough to stop him, then she saw Foam and Soap go flying and Ryouga move to help Ukyou. That concerned her. Anyone that could handle those two was a serious threat, and Perfume couldn't help noticing more of her pack was on the ground than their opponents.

"Take this boy!" she commanded the nearby Shelf. "But don't kill him. Just pretend he's coming on to you."

"Your wish is my command," Shelf said wistfully, winking as she rushed past Perfume and confronted Ranma. Perfume inwardly groaned. So Shelf liked women as well, who would have thought it? Not that Perfume cared in the slightest, except for the fact she seemed to be the target of Shelf's affections. She cut off Ryouga before he could get to Ukyou.

"Out of the way!" Ryouga threatened. The brawl with Foam and Soap, and the pounding he had taken, went a long way to convincing him it was perfectly fine to fight girls who hit him first.

"I don't think so."

Both drew back their fists and punched at one another. Perfume didn't bother crying out as she employed the Fist of the Thunderbolt, confident that whatever her opponent threw at her she could take from her Bakusai Tenketsu training. Both fists met flesh at the same time.

Both opponents found themselves flying backward from the force of the blows. Perfume was the first to regain her footing, albeit in more pain than she thought she would suffer from one mere punch. Worse, Ryouga was still semi-conscious and making his way to his feet. If he could take a beating at Soap and Foam's hands and still remain cognizant from a Fist of the Thunderstrike, she didn't want to find out what it would be like fighting him when he wasn't worn down.

Akane was winning her duel with Boudoir, despite the injuries she had suffered in her fight with Shampoo, when a second Amazon struck her in the back of the head, rendering her insentient for a few moments.

Boudoir stared crossly at the girl that had assisted her. "I could have handled her."

The girl just crossed her arms and looked unconvinced. Boudoir waved her off. "Time to finish her." She raised the battle ax high above her head.

Shampoo barely managed to evade another club and bonbori swung at her. She was almost finished. There was no way she could take more than two more solid hits before pain would overcome her and she would not be able to avoid any more attacks. As she leaped high in the air she managed to glance around to see what was happening, then wished she hadn't.

Kodachi was holding her own against Cabinet. Sash was chasing Kyoko around. Mousse was losing badly to Julep. Ai was almost unconscious from the double team she was receiving. Perfume seemed to have Ryouga under control, and Soap and Foam were coming back, Minami had already fallen. Akane was about to be cut in half. And Ranma...for the first time since the start of the fight she got a good look at him. He had lied. He promised he would not fight to the death, but from the horrible bruises and numerous cuts all over his body it was obvious he should have been driven into unconsciousness somewhere around fifty blows ago, yet he continued to rise and tried to fight. He was going to get himself killed at any moment.

"STOP!" Shampoo shouted at the top of her lungs. The roar made all the combatants hesitate a moment, gaining their attention. "I'll go back. I'll return." She switched between the two languages, allowing everyone to understand.

"No," Ranma managed to get out through swollen lips. "You can't. You know..." he stopped before he let too much out. "...you have to stay here. You know why."

Shampoo shook her head. Even if they somehow managed to win most of her friends weren't going to make it, Ranma among them. It would be a pointless waste. "It's over."

"All of you, stand down!" Perfume ordered.

"Aww!" Boudior complained. "I was just about to finish..." she trailed off as a small bird buzzed around her head.

"Sparrow," Boudoir whispered, staring at it but an instant before calling out for a blanket or some other piece of large cloth and some hot water. Mousse provided both, understanding what was going on.

Ranma made his way over to Shampoo, trying to stand protectively next to her, despite his pain. The gesture did not go unnoticed and Akane felt her heart breaking further.

"What's going on?" Ranma asked.

Shampoo looked at him for a moment before she realized why he didn't understand. "That's our best messenger. If she's come all the way to Japan to deliver a message it must be important."

"So it's like, what, a carrier pigeon?"

Shampoo shook her head. It was an easy enough mistake. "Not quite. You'll see."

The bird landed and Boudoir placed the blanket over it. Hot water followed and up from the blanket rose a pretty young girl of about ten. She wrapped the blanket around herself then began moving her hands in an intricate patter of gestures to Boudoir.

"I get it. That's a neat idea. Makes sense that she could travel faster as a bird," Ranma said approvingly.

"Yes. She accidentally fell into the Spring of Drowned Sparrow when she was no more than four. She's Boudoir's sister. Her name's Sparrow." Shampoo said. "Well, it's not her real name, but everyone's called her that for years. I don't think even her own family remembers what it used to be."

"Why's she doing that stuff with the hands? Is it some kind of way of making sure it's a legitimate message?"

"No. She's mute."

Ranma raised an eyebrow at that. "Your best messenger is a mute?"

Shampoo nodded. "Ironic, isn't it? I don't know her personally, but no one has ever said anything bad about her. And she does her job well."

Sparrow finished communicating with her sister and both turned to look towards Cologne, who had walked up to the duo. Boudoir brought out one of her outfits for Sparrow to wear, then translated the message. "She says the council has ordered all of us to return. The Musk is on the move and all of the villagers are to return home to help in the defense. We're to go back immediately."

"Good thing we found Xian-Pu before we got that order," Shelf said as she grinned evilly at Shampoo.

Perfume cursed to herself at the same time Shelf was making her comment. If only they had received the message just a few hours earlier, then everything would have been all right. But the world was not composed of what ifs, just what was. "We'll head back now."

Cologne cleared her voice. "In light of these new orders, I will take charge. I trust there are no arguments?" she directed the question towards Perfume, who assented immediately.

It was at that time Silk arrived and silently assessed the situation. She was too late.

"Nice to see you, Silk. It has been a very LONG time," Perfume intoned with more than a hint of anger in her voice. She was going to give the woman a piece of her mind when they were alone. How could Silk have arrived too late to help Shampoo? She should have beaten the hunt pack by at least a week, if not longer.

Silk held her head in disgrace. She had failed, and it was all the fault of that ship from hell. Even with her recriminations she noted she still smelled like fish from her travel on it.

Several of the beaten Amazons started to come around. As their senses returned each one began to think with one primary thought. 'Which outsider beat me?'

Cologne sorted things out in short order so that things didn't return to a brawl; a round of kisses of death could not be afforded. She simply called it a large scale fight, and since there were no proper one-on-one battles due to the large nature of the conflict, anyone defeated would not be forced to administer kisses of death or marriage, much to Kyoko's relief. She didn't like the way the girl she had pom-pomed was scowling at her.

Rei Za tried to look inconspicuous as Minami began interrogating the Amazons about who had given her a 'cheap shot' from behind. Rei Za might not have been the smartest girl around, but she knew enough not to mess with full fledged magi. Especially one's that muttered about how certain Amazons were going to end up eating flies for the rest of their lives. Varying degrees of suspicion and anger went through the other members of both sides. Neither one was eager to make friends, but the peace appeared as though it was going to hold.

Ranma began talking quietly in Shampoo's ear. "Look, now that they're distracted we can make a break for it. Don't worry about your leg. I'm pretty sure I got enough strength that I can carry you out of here without them catching us."

Shampoo examined him more closely. As fast as his powers of recovery were, he was still in horrible shape. It appeared to be taking a great deal of energy for him to simply remain upright. And now he was proposing to run off, while carrying her, faster then Julep could run. The poor, deluded heroic fool. "I can't."

"Yes you can," he growled. "I know why you stopped the fight, and you're probably right. Some of our friends might have been hurt. But now it's over and we can get you out of here."

"I can't go."

"Damn it!" he snarled. "Don't you get it? If you go back to China they're going to kill you! I can't let that happen!"

"And I can't run anymore," she said as she felt her heart race at Ranma's concern. If only the situation were different and she could enjoy his consideration for her. "They know I was here and even if I run today, once the current mess is over with at home, they'd just come back with more of my people than before. And if I left they'll try to find me, maybe threatening those I befriended in the hopes they'll know where I went. Amazon justice can be a terrible thing, and running away after I've been captured would just ensure they'll try all the harder to track me down. I don't want to have to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life. It won't matter if I get a cure. Resisting an order directly from the council can be almost as bad, and fleeing now means I would be defying them twice. There's no way they'll let me do that and get away with it.

"And if I try running and they track me down I'd have to fight them. They're my sisters, Ranma. I don't want to hurt, let alone kill, any of them, not when they think they're doing the right thing. I can't stand the thought of people being hurt, not over this, anyway. It's just," her voice caught. "It's just easier this way. Going with them is the only way no one else will be hurt."

"Except you," Ranma said flatly.

"Can you think of some other way out?" Shampoo asked, trying to convince him this was the only option left.

"There's always a way," he protested.

"No. There isn't 'always a way', and there isn't one now."

"I ain't letting you go marching off to your death because you think you're being noble."

"You can't stop me." She tried making her voice firm and spoke in a commanding tone. "And if you try I'll have my sisters stop you."

Ranma drew back at the threat, then crossed his arms while staring at her. "You said that's what you wanted to avoid."

She should have known threatening him would just make him more determined to prevent her from leaving. The boy was pig headed and twice as stubborn as any mule. She tried searching for words to convince him to let her go, but she could come up with nothing. Perhaps her great grandmother could do something to disable him without hurting him.

"Are you sure there ain't any other way?" Ranma asked, his voice much softer now.

Shampoo tried figuring out why his demeanor had changed, but could come up with nothing. He was ever the enigma to her. "If there was, don't you think I would take it? I don't want to have to go back, but it's the only way."

Ranma sighed. "Then I'm going too."

Shampoo stared at him in wide-eyed shock for a moment. As much as she wanted him at her side it was definitely not for the best. "You can't."

"Either I go with you now, or I don't let you go at all. Make up your mind or I'm going to haul you over my shoulder and run off with you, Amazons be damned."

As much as she wanted to curse at him, she couldn't help but be moved by the gesture. "As long as you promise not to risk your life, I'll let you go along."

"No."

"Ranma, don't do this," she protested.

"No. You once told me I can't always get my way. Well you can't either. I'm going with you."

"I don't want you to be hurt because of me." She didn't want to cry, not with all of her sisters watching. It would be too humiliating.

"I seem to remember saying the exact same thing to you. Do you remember your answer?"

She would never forget the night of their heart-to-heart on the open seas, and he was right; there was no way she would ever convince him to remain behind. That would be going against Ranma's intrinsic nature. She would have to seek another solution on the way to China. It was the only way she was going to convince him not to do something rash right now and probably get killed. "You can go. I won't try to stop you."

"About time," he said.

She turned away from him then and cast her eyes towards the ground, feeling more than a little weak in the knees. As much as she wanted him safe, she was still moved to tears from his concern.

At last several others from the disrupted wedding made their way to the battle ground. Including Genma, Nodoka, and the rest of the Tendos.

"What's going on?" Nodoka was the first to ask. Whatever was going on before her obviously had nothing to do with her son being married to Akane, not that either of them appeared to be in any shape to have a wedding now.

Akane spoke first. "Shampoo's going back to China. Ranma's going along and so am I." She had caught just enough of the conversation to understand what Ranma was doing, and would be damned if she was going to stand idly by while Ranma threw his life away, even if he had chosen Shampoo over her.

"But what about the wedding," Nodoka protested.

Ranma looked to his mother. "It's on hold for now. This is going to be resolved first, one way or another."

"I'm going with you, Ranchan," Ukyou spoke up, helping to override any other protests that might be raised.

"So am I," was said simultaneously by Ai and Ryouga, who then scowled at one another.

All of the others volunteered after that including a recovered Kunou, the parents, and Kasumi. The only one that balked was Nabiki.

"Look, as much as I'd like to, there isn't really any reason why I should go. I'll keep track of things back here." She was damned if she was going to stick her neck out for either Ranma or Shampoo. Things were bad enough with everyone else in her family going, but she was not going to follow in all the others foolish footsteps.

"Kasumi should stay too," Soun said.

"I'm going," Kasumi insisted. She was not simply going to let Shampoo march off to her death. There was something she could think of that would help. There had to be.

Genma turned to Nodoka. "It might be best for you to stay here as well."

Nodoka turned in anger towards Genma. "I have not seen my son for more than ten years! I am not going to allow him to go off to some foreign land and possibly not see him again for who knows how long! I am going as well!"

Genma knew better than to argue with his wife when she was in that kind of a mood, so he nodded his head in agreement.

The group of Amazons appeared more than a little concerned at the suddenly burgeoning group before them. If a second fight was to occur the outcome might be in doubt. Some of them were about to protest when Cologne spoke up and said it was all right. None among the hunt pack had the nerve to question their elder's thinking and remained silent.

Silk, Perfume, and Cologne talked to one another off to the side. "Things don't look very good for Shampoo. Maybe one of those others will have some idea on how to keep Shampoo's life from being forfeit. I am presently at a loss," Cologne said.

"We're going to need a miracle," Perfume added, though if she knew the nature of the disturbance back home, she might somehow figure out a way to use it to protect Shampoo.

"If we have all of these people with us we're going to need a large ship to accommodate them, not that I would mind waiting for a while," Cologne said as she held her hand to her chin in thought. "But Sparrow's message was urgent. I have a responsibility to my people that takes precedent over my family. As much as it pains me we have to get back home at once."

Silk gave a wide smile. "I think I know of a ship that has plenty of room on it. With any luck it's still in port and we can take it home." Unlike the others she felt more responsibility for Shampoo's predicament then whatever troubles were brewing at home. It was her failure that she had not been there to warn Shampoo of what was coming, and now Shampoo was going to pay the consequences for that. Buying her some time was the least Silk could do, even if it placed her people in jeopardy.

"Then we go now," Cologne said. "We are heading immediately for a ship. Whoever is coming along, follow!"

Shampoo and Ranma found themselves surrounded by the members of the hunt pack, who weren't taking any chances on an escape. Silk and Cologne made their way up side-by-side with the couple in the middle. Then, with the four in the center, the ring of warriors began to move towards the port. They were followed by a huge group consisting of: Soun, Genma, Nodoka, Kasumi, Kodachi, Kunou, Mousse, Akane, Ai, Ukyou, Ryouga, Kyoko, and Minami. Each was going along to protect someone or someone's they cared for, even though the objects of said protection varied widely.

Nabiki watched the group go, a small part of her wanting to travel alongside them, but it would be a mistake. She was not a fighter and would just be in the way. True, she was probably the smartest of the lot, but the feeling she had received from the group of Amazons, especially Perfume, made her feel the matter would only be resolved through force of arms. It was as though the time for talk had already passed, and all that was left to do was decide how to consummate the choices that had been made. If Shampoo was even half-way accurate in her interpretation of the laws of the Joketsuzoku, there was no way out for her. Execution was the only fate that awaited the Amazon, and there was nothing Nabiki could do. There was nothing anyone could do about it, and as much as Shampoo had grown on her, as a cash cow, it was ultimately no one's business but Shampoo's, and possibly Ranma's, what happened next.

Getting in that mess was a mistake. No one else should have been involved, certainly not Nabiki's family. No good would come of it and there was nothing a small group like the one traveling with Shampoo could do to prevent whatever was going to happen to her. Even one as inexperienced in fighting as Nabiki could tell the only way they could win Shampoo's freedom by force was to make a break for it now, when there were only twenty or so Amazons to deal with. In China they would be in a hostile land and outnumbered. There would be no chances there.

The only thing she found reassuring was Kasumi and Nodoka's presence with the others. The martial artists might erupt in some kind of testosterone frenzy to throw their lives away, save for the fact there were two non-fighters that would need to be protected. Nodoka should be able to reign in Ranma should he try to do something foolish, hopefully, and Soun would keep an eye on Kasumi. And at the very least Shampoo would never allow anything to happen to Nabiki's older sister. At least that was what Nabiki hoped. And in any event nothing she could do would make a difference.

Perhaps it was time to go to a shrine and pray for her family's safe delivery. Faith in the intangible was not something Nabiki exactly felt comfortable doing, but it couldn't hurt. She was about to go find one when she saw a wonderful image before her eyes that brightened her mood considerably. It was one badly beaten Pantyhose Tarou that slowly made his way to her. She had had the pleasure of watching the end of his much deserved beating at Ranma's hands. How unfortunate her camcorder jammed up on her when she tried to tape it. If it hadn't, she would have distributed over hundred copies of it for free, just to show the world Tarou's humiliation.

"Where's Akane going?" he gasped out.

If only she had had another camera to capture the moment. "China. Shampoo's being taken home and the others are going along to try to figure a way out for her." She had to tell him. It wasn't like he wouldn't follow and find out anyway. And maybe Nabiki would get lucky and Pantyhose would not return at all.

Tarou groaned at that. Why couldn't Akane let Fem-boy go and die with the Amazon? Things would be so much better that way. A happy ending for all that mattered. He left Nabiki behind as he rushed to catch up to Akane. Nabiki had been correct. There was no way he would allow Akane to be harmed. Not by a longshot. Besides, Ranma still needed to get beaten up over what had happened before. It was a fluke. Tarou could take Fem-boy, he just knew it.

Once he was out of sight, there was one, admittedly disgusting, thought about him that made Nabiki glad he was going. He wouldn't let Akane come to harm. He may have been slime in every other regard, but he would give his life to protect her sister, and as much as Nabiki despised him, she was suddenly very grateful he was going along.

"Will wonders never cease?" she said out loud. There was one other thought that went through Nabiki's mind as she went in search of a shrine. Those serve who also wait. Well she was going to find that out firsthand.

Cologne looked to Silk again. Her friend was continuing to behave strangely. "You're certain this ship can accommodate all of us?"

Silk smiled in return. "Oh yes. It's ideally suited for our needs."

Aki and Frog looked out at the docks from one of the sides of The Worthless Piece of Shit, enjoying the sight of dry land.

"The others have finished loading supplies," the Spaniard said sadly. "Any idea where we're heading next?"

That was a loaded question if ever there was one. Fortunately Aki didn't pick up on it. "I still can't believe he did it."

Frog nodded his head. "I know what you mean."

"We finally got our hands on some money," Aki continued her rant, her anger building by the moment. "We could have bought a radar system, or a radio that works over a distance of more than fifty miles, or we could have cleaned up the ship. But what does he use it for?! A GODDAMN FREDERICK'S OF HOLLYWOOD LINGERIE FRANCHISE!"

Frog already knew the situation but it would be better to let her vent her frustrations. "I can hardly believe it myself."

"What good is a damn lingerie store on a boat?!" Aki continued to smolder in anger.

"Hey! Those things can come in pretty handy. You never know when a passenger will want some sexy, silky undergarments to turn me...err some guy on that might catch their interest, and now we can provide them with that service."

Both crewmen turned angrily towards the speaker. Captain D'Amore had come staggering out of the ship, a near empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. He bore a bleary-eyed look while his blue long-sleeved shirt and light black trousers appear rumpled, as though he had just gotten out of bed.

"Well, well, well, look what's come back from the dead," Frog said acidly as he shot a spiteful stare at the captain.

Aki was just as pleased. "How's the hangover, Captain?!" she said loudly in the hopes that she would increase whatever headache he had.

"I only had two bottles. Nowhere near enough to get drunk. I'm just happily buzzed," he replied while holding his head.

"Too bad," Frog watched the captain sway back and forth. Perhaps they would get lucky and D'Amore would fall overboard and drown.

There was no such luck as D'Amore went to the railing and remained on deck. He looked towards the city, letting the fresh air clear his head, when he sensed something. He perked up and began looking around, eyes searching the docks intently.

Aki noticed the change immediately as the captain's nose twitched. "What is it?"

D'Amore gazed towards the shore. "By the pricking of my thumb, something busty this way comes."

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Aki shouted.

D'Amore took no time for explanations as he stared off into the distance until he spotted what set off his senses. "Women! A whole group of beautiful women and they're heading to my ship! I have to prepare for them!"

He smiled as widely as he could and concentrated. At the rate the group was approaching there was hardly any time left. He continued smiling and summoned all of his strength. It had to work. It had to or he wasn't a D'Amore. It took almost all of his strength, but at last it happened.

His teeth gleamed.

"BWHAHAHAHAHA! Success!"

Both Aki and Frog stared at him as though he had gone mad. Then they saw the change. Rather than the disheveled, bleary-eyed drunk that was there moments before, there now stood a fully cognizant, scandalously handsome looking rouge before them. He ran his hand through his hair once, all of it falling into place as though it had been coiffured by a professional. Even his clothing shifted in appearance, as though it had been pressed but moments ago. The captain merrily skipped towards the gangplank, whistling 'The Girl's Got a Crush on Me.'

If Aki hadn't known the man was a completely amoral, irresponsible, lecherous, narcissistic, dumb as a brick drunkard she would have been impressed. As it was she settled for forming a sweatdrop behind her head and saying, "That man scares the hell out of me sometimes."

Frog could do nothing more than nod his head.

Ranma took one look at the ship before them and smiled for the first time all day. "We just got ourselves an extension."

Everyone not previously acquainted with The Worthless Piece of Shit stared at the ship in disgust. More than one Amazon balked at the idea of boarding something that appeared to be seaworthy only in the sense that it was currently in the sea and didn't appear to be sinking at the moment. After receiving a fourth reassurance from Silk that the craft would not sink as soon as it went out to sea, Cologne ordered the others to board the vessel. Perfume was the first up the gangplank, only to see that the captain and several of the crew were already present and waiting for them.

D'Amore took note that most of the people appeared to have recently come from a fight. It didn't matter; he could see which ones were pretty behind the bruises.

"What a beautiful and lovely woman to come aboard my ship. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Captain D'Amore, and I am at your service." He took Perfume's hand, bent low and went to kiss it.

The instant Perfume first laid eyes upon him she knew what kind of man he was. She allowed her hand to make it to his lips, then calmly pulled it out at the last instant, leaving D'Amore to kiss at nothing but air.

"Rejected!" one of the crew said from his position behind D'Amore.

"Shut up!" he snarled and went to kiss the hand of the next lovely maiden. "Miss Shampoo!" he said in pleasant surprise. "Welcome back aboard my vessel." He took her hand and went to kiss it as well. An instant before it would have made contact she smacked him across his face.

"Don't touch me!" She huffed and walked away from him. How could she ever have regarded him as anything other than a lecherous Casanova? He was less than dirt when compared to Ranma.

D'Amore rubbed his face. Why was she angry with him? Usually the only time he received slaps like that was -after- he slept with a woman. Maybe she was still frigid. That and one of the men she was with were the only reasonable explanations he had for when she refused his advances the last time she was on the ship.

The next one up was Ranma, who scowled at D'Amore even more fiercely than the last time they had met.

"Hello, Mr. Sap-to-me," D'Amore said with deliberate ease. "It looks like someone beat the hell out of the undefeatable martial artist. Too bad." The captain remembered Ranma all too well. He was one of the reasons the 'Conquest of Shampoo' had failed, and the whelp never showed the captain proper respect. Well, none of the crew did that either, but Ranma was more than a little cocky about it, which irritated D'Amore to no end. "It's nice to have you back."

"Drop dead." Ranma followed right behind Shampoo.

D'Amore would deal with the young pup later. There was another girl coming on board. A cute looking tomboy that appeared to have been in a fight too, not that she didn't still look attractive to the captain's eyes. "Welcome aboard." He took her hand, only to have an elbow buried on top of his head when he bent down to kiss the appendage.

"Pervert!" Akane growled and took back her elbow and hand from the captain, who now had a splitting headache. He shook it off as he watched Akane follow the waiting Ranma, who was scowling at D'Amore even more intently than before, then turned to see a hand being offered to him. He gazed into the face of the one offering it to him. It was the decidedly unattractive Cabinet. D'Amore shook the hand, much to Cabinet's disappointment, and the Amazon boarded the ship.

D'Amore turned to the next one; a very cute looking girl with brown hair and glasses.

The girl just stared at him as she placed her hands on her hips. "Do you have any idea how many germs live in the mouth?" Tablet asked.

D'Amore was caught more than a little off guard by the question. "No."

"Millions. Now if you think for one second I would let your mouth come near any part of me, think again."

For the first time in recent memory D'Amore was struck speechless as the girl went past. Was he losing his touch? Never had so many women resisted his handsome features. The next passenger was dressed in a tuxedo and had a large spatula strapped to their back.

"Welcome aboard, sir."

"I'm a girl!" Ukyou shouted back irritably.

Cross-dresser. How wonderful. Though now that he got a good look at her she wasn't at all bad looking. For a cross-dresser.

Ukyou moved on only to be followed by Ai. D'Amore kept from drooling. He could do that over her later. "Welcome aboard."

Ai never let his hand near hers. "After what you did to my Ukyou, you can forget about it!"

Ai quickly followed her chef, leaving the captain to stare after her. The girl had said 'my Ukyou'. The two were lesbians? That was wrong! It was such a waste of potentially attractive partners. Silently he vowed to do what he could to get them set on the proper course of male to female relationships...with him, naturally. If he couldn't make them switch back, no one could.

The next one appeared to be a potential winner; a cute, peppy little thing that appeared to be full of energy. He always enjoyed energetic ones. "Welcome aboard." He went to grab her hand, but found a second person blocking the way.

"Don't let him touch you," Ryouga warned Kyoko while staring evilly at D'Amore. "Aki said he's got diseases."

"Yuck!" Kyoko said and stuck her tongue out. "That's gross!" She walked off with Ryouga.

"That's a lie!" D'Amore shouted, more than a little flustered at the accusation. Besides, penicillin had taken care of that particular problem a while ago.

Captain D'Amore was beginning to panic. Never had he had so many women to charm and failed so miserably at it.

"You can kiss my hand."

He turned to look at the woman who had offered. Before him was a gnarled old troll sitting atop a staff. A lesser man would have turned green at the suggestion, but D'Amore would never allow his perfect complexion to be tainted in such a manner. Instead he recoiled on the inside. "Sorry. I wish I could do so, but my ship beckons me and there are many things I still need to do. Someone else will greet the rest of you." Let one of his crew suffer the rejections of the women. D'Amore needed a break.

As Minami walked aboard the ship she felt something shoot through her. At first she wasn't sure of it from the shore, but the closer she got to the ship the more the feeling grew. Now that she was in physical contact with the ship she was convinced of one thing: the craft was full of powerful magic. The problem was she could not be certain where it stopped and the ship began. It unquestionably permeated the craft, and was perhaps inexorably intertwined with every fiber of the vessel. In any case she certainly would have to investigate it more thoroughly. It wasn't every day one came across a ship that was magical.

Ranma followed Shampoo to the room assigned to her. The two had been silent since they left the captain behind on the deck.

"You're sure you'll be all right?" Ranma asked. "I don't want none of those Amazons bothering you or finding out about the curse."

Shampoo gave a soft smile. "Great grandmother said I was under her authority now and wasn't to be bothered by them. Perfume reinforced that as well."

"I can't believe after what you did for her that that..." Ranma took a moment to come up with the right word to describe Perfume, but failed, settling on, "...witch hunted you down like some kind of criminal!"

"I think there's more to it than that." Shampoo was a little surprised at her defense of her old friend, all things considered. "I'll ask her later." Shampoo looked into the room and back to Ranma. "You can come in if you like."

Ranma jumped back as though she had tried to throw a punch at him. "Ah! No. I have to go." He relaxed a bit. "I also got to tell Akane about what's going on. I saw the way she was looking at me and she's already jumping to conclusions, though I guess under the circumstances I can't blame her. We were supposed to be married by now. She might not be happy about what I'm going to say, but I gotta let her know where I stand. Then I have to explain things to Mom and Pop." Depression grew as he realized exactly what that was going to entail. It was going to break his mother's heart. He was not going to be getting any rest in the near future, and his body still ached from the combined beatings of Tarou, Perfume, and Shelf. He was on the verge of collapsing on the spot.

Shampoo looked downcast at his refusal. Somewhere deep down inside she had hoped the fight might have coalesced his feelings towards her. Of course there was a slew of other impending problems to deal with now. It wouldn't do for Ranma to choose her only to end up receiving a death sentence. Some heavy thinking was going to have to be done to keep her out of trouble this time, and nothing was coming to mind.

The two made their good-byes. Ranma walked off while Shampoo lay down on her bed and shut her eyes for a few moments to try to clear her head. She was asleep within moments.

Ranma slowly made his way to the room Akane had been assigned. For a change, he was trying to think of what to say beforehand instead the usual spouting out with whatever came to mind. Too bad nothing was coming to mind. At least nothing that was not going to upset her, and he didn't want to hurt her, not any more than he already had. Akane deserved better than that, a lot better, but there was just no way around it. No matter what he was going to do now, it would end up hurting someone he cared for deeply.

"Why me?" he lamented.

Ranma stopped for a moment to bolster his resolve. Fighting demons and monsters he could do without flinching. Give him a girl to talk to in a heart-to-heart conversation and he found his courage wanting. Maybe he was just weird. As hard as he tried, there was still nothing coming to mind that would help him explain things to Akane without her getting mad. There was no other choice then. He continued on to her room, and knocked.

It was a few moments before a 'come in' answered. Ranma entered to see Akane sitting on her bed, looking exhausted in her still torn wedding dress. It had been beautiful at the start of the day. Now it was in tatters, maybe just like his relationship with his fiancee.

She looked at him for only a moment before turning her back to him. Even in the brief instant he saw her face it was more than enough. Her eyes had been red-rimmed and still somewhat moist. She had been crying, and he was almost certainly the cause of it.

The feeling in his heart threatened to overwhelm him. How could he have allowed himself to do this to her? She was Akane, and in spite of all the problems they had had over the months since first meeting, she still meant the world to him. Hurting her was the last thing he wanted to do, yet he had done it anyway. No one had forced him to follow Shampoo, but he had. He could have gone through with everything and would be married right now, talking with everyone at the reception while panicking about what the future would hold, but at least Akane would have been happy. Instead she was sitting in a ruined wedding dress, suffering from injuries by his other love interest, as well as a horde of Amazons, while on a ship supposedly bound for China, though in truth there was no telling where they would end up.

He wanted to say something glib like, 'bet you didn't think our wedding day was going to turn out like this?' but couldn't; the situation was far too serious. Instead all that came out was, "Akane." He could think of no other words to follow. None that would be adequate to describe what he felt, and how sorry he was that he had hurt her.

"You don't have to say anything, Ranma."

He could hear the tears behind those words.

"You want to be with Shampoo instead of me. Fine! Getting married was a stupid idea anyway. It was all my father's stupid fault. I'm just glad you figured it out before instead of after. I hope you and Shampoo have a wonderful life together!" The last part was said through tears, but she was trying to give him up. In spite of the words she knew she hadn't, and wouldn't for some time to come. If only she could make the pain go away.

"I haven't decided on anything," he said softly.

That caused her to turn and look at him for only the second time since he entered the room. "What do you mean?" Now hope had drifted into her voice. She knew she should not allow expectations like that, but could not help it when she heard those words.

"I don't know who I lo...like." Even now he couldn't say that. Not to her or Shampoo. "I'm really confused. Shampoo confessed she loves me and I don't know how I feel about that. I don't really know how I feel about you either. I don't know anything. I need time to think about this."

"You're not trying to run off with Shampoo?" Could it be that she had been wrong about everything? Now hope was starting to run rampant. Suddenly there was a possibility of getting Ranma after all.

"Nope." At least not at the moment, but somehow he knew that, despite the honesty of the statement, it would be the wrong thing to say. "I haven't been two-timing you or anything like that. I would never intentionally hurt you. Honest. Do you believe me?" He found himself needing her reassurance. He still wanted her trust. If he didn't have it they were going to have problems with any decisions he was going to have to make in the upcoming future.

A moment passed before Akane responded softly. "Yes. I believe you."

That made him feel better. Not a lot, but some. "I'm sorry for running out on you with the wedding and everything, but now that I got a chance to think about it, I think waiting is for the best no matter how I choose. I kind of felt like I had to do it. And even though I don't think marrying you is a bad thing, because I don't, I'm pretty sure it would have been a mistake to rush things like we were back there. If we ah..." there was no other way to delicately put it without getting her hopes up. He certainly did not want a repeat of saying something that sounded like a commitment when he did not know who to commit to, like he had with Shampoo when he caught up to her, but he was trying to be straightforward and honest. "If we get married, I want it to be because we both want to, not cause our parents forced us into it."

Akane could see the awkwardness in what he was trying to say. Surprisingly, she felt relief at the confession. "I feel the same way. You really didn't want to get married, did you?"

What she said started to panic him, then he saw the understanding in her eyes. It wasn't an accusation. It was an honest question from concern. "I don't think so. Not yet. Maybe in a little while, or maybe a long while, but it definitely felt like it was too soon."

Akane raised herself to her feet and stood next to him. "I'm sorry. I think I probably should have realized that and I should have said something to make them wait."

Ranma shook his head. There was nothing she had to feel sorry about. He was the one that had messed everything up for her. "It's not your fault."

"It is if I thought you might not want to go through with it and I didn't say anything. I felt that way too, at first, but when I realized that I loved you and wanted to go..." It had almost slipped past without her realizing it. She had actually said the words out loud. In truth, she had never even thought saying it to him, and would have denied even saying such a thing before that moment. But now she had spoken, and looking more closely at Ranma, realized he had heard it too.

"D...do you mean that?" he barely managed to stutter out.

Akane suddenly found her eyes drifting to the ground. Admitting something like that was not easy. Being open in that way was not her style, but denying she said it would be futile. Besides, if she wasn't open now she might lose him to Shampoo. The time for self-denial had to be over. For both her and Ranma's sakes. "I guess I do," she said softly, then more firmly. "Yes. I do." Things would have been a whole lot easier if he had said it first, though.

Even if Ranma had suspected it, to actually hear her say those words was like a great weight had been lifted off his heart. There were now no doubts about her feelings towards him. Unfortunately the same could not be said about him, to a degree. He cared about her deeply, and it might very well have been love, but he just wasn't sure, and there was no way he would lead her on. "I don't know what to say."

Akane's thoughts were along the lines of 'you could always say you love me' back, but that was hoping for a bit much, and she knew it. "I don't really know anything else to say either. I think it kind of says it all."

The awkwardness of the situation caught up to him. "I got to think about what we just talked about, y'know?" He went to the door. "I'll see you later. You rest up, okay. You look really beat."

She was more than a little disappointed that he was leaving, but understood why. Funny how she was suddenly getting better at that. She never seemed to be able to understand him, but now that she had admitted her feelings he seemed to make more sense. "So do you. And Ranma."

"Yes?"

"When you want to explain things to your parents, I'll back you up on waiting for the wedding. Like I said, I don't want you to feel forced into anything. If we do get married it'll be because you want to do it too." She felt herself blush at that.

He became more nervous as well. "I think I'll take you up on that." He certainly did not feel like trying to explain what had happened to his parents, especially since he was so exhausted. And trying to sort out Akane's revelation had taken more out of him than he thought possible.

He said good-bye once more and headed to his cabin. Confronting his parents could wait until later because he was going to collapse. He made his way to his room, and as he predicted, fell asleep upon hitting the covers.

No one saw the diminutive form sneak aboard the ship, laughing to itself, muttering how it really had hit the motherlode this time.

"Time to cast off!"

One of the crewmen hoisted up the chain attached to the anchor. As it finished being brought up he stared at it in confusion. Why were there two anchors attached to the chain? He simply shrugged his shoulders and walked off. The ship had plenty of strange things about it. The idea that anchors were cloning themselves wasn't really that hard to accept.

As the crewman walked off a head popped out of one of the anchors. It spat out water as it got out of its disguise.

"I'll protect you, Ukyou." Tusbasa swore.

Elsewhere on the ship, reunions began to occur.

"AKI!"

"RYOUGA!"

Ukyou, Ai, and Kyoko looked on as the two embraced.

Aki spoke first. "I didn't think I'd get to see you so soon! It's wonderful to see you."

"I feel the same way."

Out of nowhere Kawada, Brunt, and Frog appeared out of nowhere and spied the embracing duo.

"The lovers are reunited!" Kawada loudly proclaimed.

"But the atmosphere is wrong for this reunion," Frog added.

The large Brunt held a finger up. "I know just the thing to do."

"Leave everything to us!" The trio shouted.

All three moved with precision and grabbed a table, two chairs, threw Aki and Ryouga into them, put some spaghetti on a plate between them, dressed up in waiters outfits, and proceeded to happily play tunes from 'Lady and the Tramp'.

"WOULD YOU THREE IDIOTS KNOCK IT OFF!" Aki roared, allowing Frog to place one end of the spaghetti in her mouth as she closed it. Her face began to twitch in response.

The events also had an effect on others.

"What's this about 'lovers' being 'reunited'?! You never told me anything about an affair!" Ukyou asked, more than a hint of anger in her voice. She missed the hurt expression Ai gave at the obvious jealousy.

Next to Ukyou, Kyoko was practically in tears. "You have another lover, Ryouga-kun? How could you do this to me?"

"NO!" Ryouga shouted, sensing his impending doom. "It's not like that at all!"

Rather than immediately denying it, Aki looked suspiciously at the pair. "Ryouga who are these two?"

Ryouga sweatdropped as he desperately tried to figure a way out of the situation. Having women angry at him was something he cared for about as much as a knee to the groin. "This is Kyoko," he pointed at the cheerleader.

"Oh," Aki lightened up considerably. "That's the one whose name you first called out when we were in bed, right?" Those words had the predictable effect.

"WWWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHH! You are cheating on me!" Kyoko cried.

"N...n...no!" Ryouga barely managed to stammer out.

Ukyou was in just as much shock. "You were sleeping with her?!"

"And you are...?" Aki asked.

"I'm Ukyou Kuonji."

Aki stared at her for a moment. "Hey, wait a minute! Does he call you Uk-chan?"

Ukyou stared at her in return. "Yes. Did he tell you that in bed too?"

The question wasn't intended to be serious, but Aki answered with a disgusted 'yes', then grabbed Ryouga and tore him away from trying to comfort the bawling cheerleader. "Ryouga, I thought you told me Ukyou was a girl. I am so disappointed in you. Not just for lying to me, but because you never mentioned you liked guys." She stared at him suspiciously. "You didn't try hitting on the captain, did you? I hope you got better taste than that."

"I don't like guys!" Ryouga blustered.

"I am not a guy!" Ukyou shouted out in agreement.

"You've got no breasts, are wearing a suit, and I heard someone say that blonde behind you is your girlfriend," Aki pointed out.

"I wear a chest wrap, she's just a friend, and I'm wearing a suit because I was almost best woman at a wedding!"

"Isn't that 'best man'?" Aki asked.

*WHAM*

Aki stared idly at the giant spatula planted on her head. "What?" she asked.

"What, what?" Ukyou asked, momentarily confused by Aki's lack of reaction.

"What do you want?"

"Why are you asking me what do I want?"

"Well, you tapped me on the head," Aki indicated the spatula. "I assumed you wanted something."

"Tapped?" Ukyou asked, confused. She had hit Aki pretty hard for all the male comments that had been directed at her.

Kawada cleared his throat to gain Ukyou's attention. "Striking Aki in the head to cause damage is an exercise in futility. Her skull is, for all intents and purposes, nearly unbreakable."

"We once sunk a ship using her like a torpedo. Ripped a huge hole through its hull and didn't leave a mark on her noggin." Frog motioned with his hands and added sound effects as he described the damage she inflicted.

"Too bad no one bothered to mention that I was going to be playing torpedo before I got shot out," Aki growled as she cracked her knuckles. "I still haven't paid you back for that one."

Kawada spoke up once more. "Allow my associate, Mr. Brunt, to demonstrate the veracity of the statement."

Aki looked at Kawada in confusion. "Demonstrate?" She looked behind her just in time to see Brunt slam an I-beam on the top of her head, bending it in half, but leaving her unaffected.

"See? Harder than rock," Kawada finished.

Ryouga watched the demonstration in horror. "You can't attack my cousin like that!"

Everyone stared first at Ryouga, then at Aki. Kyoko broke the silence first.

"You've been sleeping with your cousin? WWWWWAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Everyone else stared in shock at the duo. Frog spoke first. "I had no idea."

"It's not like that!" Aki protested. "We didn't know we were cousins, and nothing happened anyway! We found out before it got that far!"

"Oh," Brunt said, then began to snicker. "You mean you came on to your cousin, and you didn't even know it."

The other two crewmen joined in the mirth, laughing their heads off, much to Aki's irritation. "This is why I didn't want you to say anything," she said to Ryouga. "Now I'll never live this down."

The words started processing in Kyoko's brain as she looked to Ryouga. "So you didn't sleep with your cousin?"

"No." He was relieved. At last Kyoko understood.

"I'm sorry for doubting you, Ryouga-kun. I should have known you would never sleep with someone like that."

Aki perked up at that. "Exactly what do you mean by, 'someone like that'?"

"Well," Kyoko wondered if she should remain silent, but then realized what a mean trick Aki had played by making Kyoko think Ryouga had been sleeping with her. "You aren't very pretty. Ryouga-kun has much better taste than to sleep with someone as unattractive as you."

Aki's face began to twitch as she turned to Ryouga. "You'd be better off sleeping with the guy than that cow," she said, pointing at Kyoko.

Ai hauled Ukyou away before she could hit Aki again for the guy comment while Kyoko gave a mean stare towards Aki. "I don't like your cousin, Ryouga. She's a real bitch."

All three of the crewmen looked on in fear at Aki. "Maybe she didn't hear that," Kawada said.

Aki said nothing. She just stared at Kyoko.

The trio of crewmen took on a serious demeanor. Kawada took charge of the situation. "Damn! I knew this was going to happen someday. And Aki never replaced Felicity." He gently placed his hand on Aki's shoulder. "Calm down."

She paid him no attention as she continued to stare.

Frog interjected himself between Aki and Kyoko, who began to look frightened at Aki. "Relax, Aki," he tried talking to her. "She doesn't know any better. I'm sure she didn't mean it." It took him a moment to realize she wasn't responding to what was being said. It was too late.

Ryouga watched on in confusion. Aki had obviously gotten angry at Kyoko for some of the things she said, but he couldn't think of anything the cheerleader had mentioned that was bad enough to set Aki off. On more than one occasion Aki had gotten into shouting matches with some of the crew and never lost her temper. "What's going on, Aki?"

There was no response, causing Ryouga to become more concerned about his cousin. It was almost similar to one of his depressions, except instead of dejection she was projecting rage. He was about to approach her when it happened. A black form suddenly sprang from her an instant. It appeared to be a huge see-through image of a woman with short armor plates around parts of her chest, arms, and legs. A helm covered her features, allowing only a red glow from where her eyes would be. What he saw of the areas not covered with the armor were muscles that defied belief. The image hung above Aki for a moment, then seemed to settle back inside of her.

"What was that?" Ryouga said, barely speaking loud enough to be heard.

"What was what?" Kawada asked.

Ryouga rubbed his eyes. "I saw this image of a weird-looking woman above Aki for a moment. Then it disappeared back into her."

Kawada looked at him in disbelief. "I thought only the captain and I could see that."

"See what? What was that?!"

Kawada shook his head. "I'll explain later. Ryouga, Aki is out of control and will kill your girlfriend if she gets her hands on her. Try to restrain her while Frog keeps the girl out of harms way until your cousin calms down. I don't want to think of what's going to happen if Aki gets her hands on the little loudmouth."

Aki took a step forward towards Kyoko, not uttering a sound. With her first step Brunt leaped on Aki, smothering her with his huge form and tried to brace himself by digging his feet into the deck.

"Calm down, Aki!" Brunt knew what was going to happen, but prayed he could get through to her anyway.

His prayers went unanswered as Aki began to walk at a quick pace, as though she did not have three hundred plus pounds of a powerful human trying to restrain her. "I need help, Ryouga!"

Frog picked up Kyoko and ran off while Ryouga looked on in confusion. He wasn't going to attack his cousin, no matter what the other crewmen said. The three men were reliable, but he trusted Aki above all others. He decided to talk to her, hoping it would calm her down.

"Hey, Aki."

There was no response as she picked up speed and went in the direction Kyoko had been taken.

Ryouga started following. "Umm, Aki. What's wrong?"

"Get a clue and help me stop her before she does something she regrets!" Brunt yelled as he was carried along.

"Aki's a nice person. She wouldn't hurt Kyoko for saying something a little insulting like that." In truth Ryouga was beginning to get a little worried. Aki was behaving more than a little weird, and then there was that thing he saw above her right before she started chasing Kyoko. Kawada hadn't acted surprised, but maybe it was controlling Aki somehow.

He gave one last try at talking to her. When she didn't respond he then stood in front of her and braced himself. As powerful as she was, he was still the stronger of the duo, though not by much. He held out his arms to stop her...

...and promptly got knocked down and walked over as Aki increased her speed to catch up to Kyoko. Ryouga picked himself up and began to panic. What had just happened was impossible. Even Lime wasn't powerful enough to simply walk over a well-braced Ryouga like his cousin had just done. Nothing short of a speeding train should have been able to do that. Quickly he ran after the ever quickening Aki.

"Aki's never going to forgive herself if she kills that girl," Kawada said sadly as he followed in Aki's wake.

"What's going on?!" Ryouga shouted, grabbing Kawada by the collar. "Tell me!"

"Aki's in a berzerker fury. The only thing that could calm her down was her cat," he explained. "It was always only a cat."

Ryouga remembered Aki's cat. "Felicity."

"She died two weeks ago and Aki didn't get a replacement."

"So?"

"Without her cat she won't calm down. The only way she will come out of that fury now is if she removes the source of her anger. That's the girl. Aki didn't tell you about her problem, did she?"

"No," Ryouga admitted.

"Hardly a surprise. She won't talk about it with anyone. Not that's she's proud of it." Kawada shuddered. "You've never seen what she can do when she's that way, Ryouga. We got boarded by some pirates a year ago. We were losing when the captain of them called her the B-word in the middle of the fight. His crew, the fools, tried to protect him." Kawada gave a mirthless laugh. "I've seen lots of horrible things in my lifetime, but that was the worst. When Aki calmed down and saw what she had done and locked herself in her cabin for a month."

Kawada shook his head. "They were cutthroats that deserved what happened to them, but Aki still felt guilty. Since then there were three separate instances of people calling her that. Each time we got her cat in time. But now..." he trailed off. "She won't forgive herself if she kills the girl."

"Can't we stop her!" Ryouga asked.

Kawada just shook his head.

The duo caught up to her just in time to see Frog with Kyoko at the stern, having run out of ship with which to flee. That wasn't good. He knew for a fact that Kyoko couldn't swim and that Aki could cut through the water like a fish.

Brunt tried to stop her in a last ditch effort, digging his heels into the deck once more. All that produced was a torn up deck as Aki now slowly made her way towards Kyoko, who was too scared to even scream.

"Sorry, girl," Frog apologized, then ran off.

Ryouga couldn't bring himself to hit Aki, so threw himself in front of Kyoko. He began speaking softly to Aki as she approached. "I can't let you hurt her, Aki. You'll have to go through me first."

If Aki heard him she did not respond. Instead she drew up in front of him.

"Get out of the way, Ryouga!" Brunt shouted as he continued to futilely strain against her.

"No." Ryouga shook his head. "I can't hurt her or let her hurt Kyoko. I'll stay right here. I don't think she'll hurt me."

Aki drew back her fist.

"You just lost your bet! Move or she'll kill you and then kill the girl anyway!"

Ryouga stood his ground.

"Ryouga-kun, move," Kyoko said softly from behind him. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Ryouga continued staring straight at Aki. Then he saw it. A twitch in the face. Aki was hesitating. "You don't want to hurt me," he said softly. "We're friends. Family."

The fist wavered.

"Just let it go," Ryouga said softly.

"Get...out...of...the...way," Aki managed, obviously in great pain.

It was as he hoped. "No," Ryouga said firmly.

"Ryouga, move," Kyoko said once more.

"It...said...the...word. It...has...to...die."

"No," he repeated in the same tone of voice.

"Move."

Aki's fist wavered some more. Ryouga knew he was getting through. She was going to stop in a second.

Then the fist descended straight for Ryouga's face.

Kyoko screamed out in protest and tried moving Ryouga out of the way, but he was too strong for her to overpower. Instead she watched, horrified, as the fist came straight for her beloved's head...

...and stopped so close it appeared there was no space between the flesh of the fist and Ryouga's face. Aki left it there for one second, then went limp. Only Ryouga and Kawada saw the black image form for a second, then disappear. Brunt held Aki up, more out of reflex than anything else.

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," Kawada said in disbelief. Frog and Brunt mirrored their first mate.

"Give her to me," Ryouga said as he took Aki from Brunt. "I'll take her to the infirmary. Don't worry about her, though. Don't ask me why, but I think she'll be all right." And with that he went into the interior of the ship, carrying Aki gently in his arms.

"Do you guys think she'll be all right?" Frog asked his comrades.

"Yeah. Somehow, I think so," Kawada said. They didn't need a cat to stop her. Maybe she was getting better.

"Oh no!" Kyoko cried out.

All three of the crewmen stared at Kyoko. "What is it?"

"We let Ryouga-kun wander off by himself. We might not see him again for a week."

Frog waved her off. "Don't worry, he's with...oh yeah. I see your point. Maybe we'd better make sure they get to the infirmary all right."

Everyone headed off to catch up to the wandering Hibiki.

It was two hours later when Ryouga sighed for the one hundredth time. How could he possibly get lost on a ship? TWPOS was big, but it was still an enclosed vessel. He should not have been lost that long.

"Put me down."

Ryouga looked at Aki. She had at last come around. "You all right?"

"Yes. And I'm not a little baby. Put me down."

"All right." He released her before she punched him in the face. He watched her carefully as she stood up, looking none the worse for wear.

When she didn't say anything for a few moments he spoke up. "Are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

She shrugged. "She called me the name and I tried to kill her. That was a stupid risk you took. You're lucky I didn't pop your head off like a zit."

Watching Aki and her reactions was a lot easier than trying to do that with Kyoko or Ukyou. She was hiding her fear. "I figured if you wouldn't hurt a cat you wouldn't hurt me."

"Ryouga, you're not a cat and I've killed people before while like that."

Ryouga scratched his head. "Oh. I guess you're right. heh."

"Baka," she said softly. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Do you know where we are?"

Aki looked around. "Somewhere on the ship. Have you seen anyone around?"

Ryouga shook his head. That was another odd thing. In two hours of wandering he should have come across somebody, but almost from the instant he went inside everything had been silent. If he hadn't felt the gentle motion of the vessel under his feet he would have sworn he had wandered off the ship without realizing it. "None of this looks familiar to me. I got lost on this thing often enough that I thought at least some of it would look familiar, but nothing does."

Aki looked around. "It might not have been here before."

Ryouga looked at her, confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Aki gave him a sober look. "I've wandered around this ship more often than anyone else. I used to think I knew every inch of it. But as I wandered around it I realized something. It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. A lot bigger. And the insides aren't always the same."

Ryouga shook his head. "How can that be?"

Aki shrugged. "Got me. Not even D'Amore understands anything about it. No one does. We just crew on her."

"How big is it?"

Aki shrugged once more. "I don't know. I'm the only one that really understands, I think. No one else even realizes just how big it is." She thought for a moment. "Look. It's so big that there's even a hermit on the ship that fancies himself a mad scientist. No one else knows about him. His name's Alexander Luthorinski and he claims that the previous captain hired him to try and figure out how some kind of funky set of second engines on the ship work. If you ask me I think he's a stowaway. You think he'd choose a better ship though."

"What? You mean no else noticed it?"

Aki nodded. "It's not really surprising. Most people only go where they want to. No one tries to just walk around, or if they do they only do it for a little while and then go back to where they wanted. I have heard several people talk about how they ran into parts of the ship they didn't even know were there, but no one ever looks into the matter. It's like no one wants to face it. It's too weird to be believed.

"Now for us it's different. We can't help but go walk around to places where we don't intend to go. So we get to see everything. Only every time I do get lost, it seems like I end up somewhere new on here. Some things are familiar, but other times they aren't. It's like it changes each time I go around."

"Weird." Ryouga agreed. "So now that you're done trying to change the subject, are you going to tell me what was up with that image I saw around you and why you go crazy when someone calls you that word?"

Aki flushed with embarrassment. Her usually dense cousin had seen through her. "Don't worry about it."

"Aki."

"I said don't worry about it."

"Aki," he repeated. "You haven't told anyone anything about it. Don't you think it's time?"

"No!"

"You nearly killed me today. I think I'm entitled to an explanation."

"Please don't do this to me," Aki pleaded.

Ordinarily Ryouga would have given in, but something told him it needed to be done. "What was that black figure, Aki?"

She stared at him in disbelief. "You can see my stand?"

"Stand?"

It was her turn to look curiously at him. "You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

He shook his head.

"If you had one you'd know it by now. I guess it must be one of those perception things, like Kawada and the captain." She sighed. There was no way Ryouga was going to let go now. If there was any one person she could trust with the truth, it was Ryouga. "Swear to me you won't tell anyone this, and I mean anyone."

Ryouga held up his hand and swore.

"What you saw was a psychic projection called a stand. I'm one of those rare individuals that was born with one. We're called stand users. It's something that's a part of you, and when you hit puberty it manifests itself. I used to think only other stand users could see them, but I'm rapidly learning otherwise. D'Amore and Kawada can both see my stand, and neither of them are stand users. Now you can too. I don't know why. Maybe it's a martial arts thing. Different stands do different things. I know because," she paused for a moment. "Because I ran into some a while back.

"It was when I was about ten or so. I got lost and wandered throughout the world. Before I usually didn't wander too far out of Japan, but once I got older I seemed to go farther and farther away. While I was wandering I met him.

"Evil has a name, Ryouga. And his name is Dio.

"He was like nothing you've ever seen before. He makes you want to follow him. He's just one of those kinds of people. It's like he projects himself as a god, and at first you believe him. But once you get inside you realize he's evil. He was a monster, and I found out the hard way, too late. He discovered me through my stand. He had some method of finding stand users, and bending them to his will.

"When he first found me I fell for that aura and he informed me of what I was. I had no idea I was a stand user at the time. He said I was important to him, and that I could belong to something greater. Somehow he brought out my stand. I call it the Iron Tower. It's appropriate since my sign in the tarot is The Tower. The first time I felt it, it was like a part of me that I didn't even know existed. It was incredible. I'd always been strong, but once I could summon my stand I became even stronger. That's its only real ability: strength, but it has an abundance of it. Somehow I draw it from the earth itself. When I'm at sea it's a lot weaker, but still incredibly powerful.

"Once I understood what being a stand user meant he told me I could be useful to him. That was when it all fell apart for me. I was too young, so he had to change me. My stand is linked to the earth, but there were natural limits to how much I could draw. He wanted those limits removed. He had already recruited a small army of stand users to assist him. One of them could affect another stand user's abilities. It was a slow arduous process, but Dio saw to it I had plenty of time to be altered. The altering was a painful and slow process, but eventually those limits were hammered down and I could achieve the level of power Dio wanted. By that time I refused to obey him. He said ordinarily he would kill someone like me for defying him, but I was young enough to still be made to serve him. So he had the stand user start to make me more compliant. Believe me, changing the mind is a lot more difficult to do without permanently damaging it, and a lot more painful too." Aki's voice became quiet. "He walked through my mind and ripped out what was in the way, putting parts of him in their place."

"It was slowly done over the days so they didn't make me into a vegetable. And after the end of my sessions, I was thrown into a cell. While I would lie there, slowly trying to put the broken fragments of my mind together, a cat would visit me. It was a dweller in that hell hole I was left in. Probably allowed to stay there because it would kill the rats. Anyway, that cat would always curl up beside me and rest. I don't doubt it was only because I was a warm blanket for him, but it didn't matter. It was the only thing of comfort in that pit, and I latched onto it like a life preserver. Thank kami for that cat. Somehow it ended up affecting the mental programming they gave me. It was an inadvertent control which could ease me out of my state.

"Dio tested me and I obeyed without question. If I had enough time to gather my strength I could lift tons. Eventually the guy messing with my mind decided to get cute and made one of the commands a kill command if anyone called me a bitch. Pretty funny, huh? He thought so, at least. He made certain that command was deeply rooted in. He really liked it, the sick bastard. But then something wonderful happened. Dio got killed at the hands of a rival. In the ensuing chaos I escaped, taking that cat with me. Over time all of the alterations faded except for the b-word command, and I could shake out of that if I had my cat with me. I got worried when it died on me, but I got another and it worked the same. Since then I hooked up with this ship and put everything behind me. All the crew knows is not to call me that, and even if they do Kawada or someone knows to grab my cat and bring me out of it. I had to tell them that much. I didn't want to hurt anyone.

"All that worked was a cat, until now, though. You brought me out of it. I guess maybe the command is finally starting to fade, or maybe blood runs deep enough. I'm not sure if it would work a second time, though, so I wouldn't be too eager to try that again if I was you.

"And as for my stand, I won't willingly use it anymore. There's too many nightmares connected to it. I'd sooner die than use it, and there have been a lot of instances where that could have happened. Never again.

"So now you know the truth. You're the only one, Ryouga."

Ryouga nodded his head. He had been in the presence of gods before. The idea of stand users related to him was easy to accept. "Thanks for telling me. If there's any way I can help all you have to do is ask."

"Thanks." Aki laughed, finally wiping away the worst of what happened that day. Purging herself of those awful memories helped her, somehow. Who knew? Maybe in the upcoming days, she'd finally be able to break out of the brainwashing that was so deeply ingrained in her psyche. Until then she figured she would have to concentrate on getting another cat. Things had been cut too close that time.

"Let's find our way out of here," Ryouga finally said. The two set off in an attempt to find a way out of the hold of the ship.

Perfume and her hunt pack began to settle in their quarters on the section of the ship, the ones next to the lingerie shop. On the bright side the captain let them all board for next to nothing. On the downside he kept hitting on Perfume every time she talked to him and kept insisting he would help her pick out something 'sexy' from the store. He claimed he would even give her a personal discount if she would accompany him to dinner, the pig. Perfume absolutely despised those would-be suave cretins that thought every woman should jump into the sack with them. Too bad her feelings weren't shared by the majority of her pack, many of whom seemed smitten by the captain's charms. At least the gullible Sash wasn't paying him any heed. She was too heartbroken over leaving her husband behind. Sash was counting on returning after the current mess at home was over.

The leader of the hunt pack was trying to come up with some way to protect Shampoo, and failing miserably, while placing some things in her closet. She was only halfway done when one of her fellow warriors decided to pay a visit.

"Perfume. I'm here to help," Shelf's voice musically chimed in from the doorway. Not waiting for an answer, the girl simply bounced in and stopped next to Perfume.

The low groan that emanated from Perfume would have made a less determined person give up on their scheme. However, when it came to romance, Shelf was persistent to the point of being able to watch paint dry before she would give up on a target.

The pink-haired Amazon examined her 'sister' more closely. Her top was undone almost to the point that she was falling out. The girl didn't have a shred of decency. "Would you just go away?" Perfume groaned.

"Oh don't be that way. Let me help." Without waiting for an answer she grabbed a pack and proceeded to place it in the closet. She then pretended to trip, knocking Perfume and herself to the ground and making certain to ram her cleavage into the prone girl's face.

"Geff off obe me!" Perfume muffled voice sounded through the breasts jammed into her.

"Why play coy with me?" Shelf said in as seductive a tone as possible. "I've seen those sidelong glances you give me when you think people aren't looking."

Perfume turned her face away from the cleavage so she wasn't suffocating. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"You know what I mean. We both want it."

It was at that moment Cabinet and several other Amazons decided to visit. "Perfume. I wanted to ask..." she trailed off at the scene before her. "Never mind. We'll give you two the privacy you need."

Perfume went limp for a moment as she heard Cabinet leave the room. She then took as deep a breath as she could while being semi-smothered and spoke once again. "You are going to pay for this."

"Does that mean it's time for foreplay?" Shelf asked.

"Depends on your definition of foreplay." Her hands gently made their way up Shelf's breasts.

"That's more like it," Shelf cooed.

*TWIST*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

D'Amore heard the cry and began banging his head on one of the consoles on the bridge. It had already started. People were having sex and he wasn't one of them. "Why me?" he sobbed as continued banging his head.

"Why do we have to share a room?" Mousse complained as he looked the cabin over. It didn't make any sense. Everyone else got their own room. And why did theirs have a heart shaped bed with pink covers on it?

"I haven't the faintest idea, Mousse-sama." The ten thousand yen for a honeymoon suite Kodachi slipped the crewman might have had something to do with it, but why should she bother Mousse with trivial details? There were other things on her mind. "Mousse, we need to have a little talk."

"About what?" He was examining the room as he talked. Surprisingly there was a working refrigerator in the room with all sorts of 'performance enhancers' and endurance drinks. What kind of person kept things like that in their cabin?

"About your foolish gestures during the fight." She pulled out a pair of thick insulated gloves and put them on.

He knew this was going to happen. "I've told you before, I will never let anyone harm Shampoo," he said confidently, then softly added. "Even if she loves someone else," That was only now settling in. As hard as he tried to deny it in the past, he just couldn't this time. Not with the look he had seen in her eyes. It was there that the pure love he had craved like a drug was, and it had not been directed towards him. Oh, what cruel fates made his purple-haired goddess fall in love with such an unworthy fool like Saotome.

"We are going back to your people. You know what will happen when her curse is revealed, and it will end up being shown."

"Is that a threat?"

"No," Kodachi said as a matter of fact. "Not a day goes by in which she doesn't change. There's no reason to believe China will be different. Knowing her luck, she'll change on the ship and all of her fellow people will discover the truth." She continued fishing in her leotard for something.

"Then I'll protect her from them! I'll protect her from everyone! In fact, I'll go protect her right now! She might be in danger!" Mousse turned to go.

"Ah here it is!" She pulled out a large ball covered with some kind of gray substance. "Catch!" She tossed the ball to him

"What is it?" he asked as he caught the sphere out of reflex. A tingling sensation shot up his arm where his flesh made contact with the ball. In less then three seconds he was completely paralyzed.

"A new contact paralytic I wanted to test out. It's nice to see it does work, but in my unthinking haste I seem to have benumbed you." Kodachi said calmly as she placed the ball back in her leotard, then removed the gloves.

She picked him up and placed him on the bed, then made herself comfortable as she sat next to him. "Why don't we have a discussion of exactly why you are behaving irrationally and why I will not allow you to recklessly throw your life away? I'm confident you'll see things my way, even if you must remain like this for the rest of the voyage."

Mousse could do nothing more than listen as she launched into her tirade.

In another cabin on the ship, Cologne sat in silence. Sparrow had finished giving her the orders that were for the matriarch's ears only. The Musk had the audacity to claim Mount Phoenix as their own and specifically warned the Amazons away from it. Why was it so important to Herb? What secrets were there that he felt the need to place an army outside it to keep others out?

There were many things to ponder for the upcoming days, and for perhaps the first time in her life she was out of ideas. Shampoo was almost surely going to be brought before the council and explanations were going to have to be given as to what she had been doing. And given the Jusenkyou curses, there was no way she could avoid giving away the secret. The elder had her doubts about Shampoo being able to remain on the ship and not somehow tipping off the members of the hunt pack as to the Nanniichuan problem.

Flight was a temporary solution at best, and one that would ensure she could never go back home, regardless of a cure. And the problem would be compounded by the shame brought upon the family should Shampoo flee once more. As the leader of her clan it was Cologne's responsibility to look after the welfare of all of its members, which went beyond Shampoo and any difficulties she had.

It was the worst situation she had ever been in. Cologne had been lying to the council in her omission of the curse, and if they ever found out she would be expelled immediately and her entire clan reduced to a lowly status. Leaders that employed duplicity to the tribe were never forgiven. There had been several that had been caught doing such things in the past, and the price was always steep. However, it had been worth the risk. It had all been for Shampoo's benefit, but now the end was in sight.

Cologne had no doubt Shampoo would remain silent about the matriarch's knowledge of the curse. Commitment to family still ran strongly through her veins, but there was still the disgrace of being brought before her people with the curse and forced to kill herself. Cologne could think of no way to get to Jusenkyou now; the orders had been explicit in going directly home. Any deviation from them would be cause for great suspicion. And even then there was still very little guarantee that a cure could still be obtained. As near as Cologne could tell, nothing about Shampoo had changed to make her believe that a cure was any more possible than when Mousse had brought the Nyanniichuan back from China and Shampoo used it on Perfume. Fate worked in strange ways.

Then there was the other side problem of home, which she had barely thought about. What were the Musk up to? The fools were risking bringing down the government on all of their heads. The people of the area kept to themselves and were left alone, just so long as they didn't cause trouble. There was a great deal of power concentrated in that one spot in China, and the government was reluctant to stir up so much trouble for so little an area. To the rulers in Beijing, the potential losses far outweighed the gains. But if Herb continued to make waves, those losses might end up being acceptable for maintaining the peace of the area, and that would doom everyone. Herb had to be stopped before he caused irreparable damage.

Cologne shifted her thoughts to the more current problems at hand. Silk had been only too happy to get this ship. She was up to something, something that just might help Shampoo. The elder could only pray that whatever it was would be successful. And as to the ship itself, the ghost sweeper had been right. Cologne was far from being as sensitive in magic as someone like Minami, but even she could feel the magic coming from the ship. The whole vessel was full of the stuff. It was just a miracle Happosai hadn't jumped on board beforehand. He was instinctively drawn to magic like a moth to a flame. And with so many women on board, as well as a lingerie shop, well, Cologne thanked all of her luck they set off when they did.

That was when the screams started from outside. Cologne looked up at the door only to have it burst inward.

"I should have known," she sighed.

"ELDER!" So Fu screamed. "It's attached to my breasts and I can't get it off!"

Happosai turned from his perch from between So Fu's breasts and looked at Cologne. "Hi there! Isn't this great! It's a boatload full of beautiful women with a bunch of lingerie. No one can escape now. It's just us and the open seas. I should have come up with something like this years ago. HAHAHAHAHA!"

Cologne just sighed about how some things never changed and swung at Happosai. He barely managed to tear himself out of the cleavage in time. "I'll come back for you later, you cute little thing," he told So fu. "I'm just going to visit some of your Amazon sisters and let them share the wealth! Woohoo!" And with that he bounded off, groping the next woman he came upon.

"What was that thing?!" So Fu gasped out.

"A terrible demon of perversion from the deepest pits of hell. If you kill it, your name will go down in the annals of our history as one of the greatest warriors of our time."

"I would do that anyway for what it did to me. All I need to do is round up some of my sisters and we'll commence a search. It won't leave the ship alive!"

"Good luck," Cologne managed to say with a straight face. Happosai was going to be kept busy for a while.

Aki and Ryouga finally made their way back to the upper portions of the ship when a Happosai-glomped Amazon ran past the duo, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"What was that?" Aki asked in shock.

Ryouga explained exactly what Happosai was.

"So there are two perverts on the ship now. I wonder if the captain'll get defensive about having another one encroaching on his territory?" Further thoughts were cut off as a little red bundle of perversion glomped itself to Aki's chest.

"Say honey, you should start wearing a bra. Wouldn't want the guys to think you're brazen, would you? You feel like a b-cup." He placed one hand in his gi. "Here you go!" He pulled a lacy black bra out and offered it to Aki.

"LET GO OF MY-" Ryouga managed to get out before he was cut off.

Aki held a hand up before Ryouga. "I'll take care of this." She looked down at the creature in its perch, then put on a cutesy expression that would have put Azusa to shame, yet somehow managed to scare Ryouga at the same time. That sort of look did not belong on his cousin's features.

"You're such a cute little thing." She pinched one of Happosai's cheeks, then wrapped her arms around and began hugging him.

"Ahhh!" Happosai made himself more snug in his perch. "It's not often a girl respects her elder like you do. It's so refre-" he stopped as he suddenly felt his spine become compressed with incredible pressure.

"This is the way I deal with perverts that go grabbing where they don't belong." Aki's cute expression disappeared as her more normal features returned. "I wonder how long it'll be before we hear your vertebrae snap."

"This is a little tight, dear. Would you mind loosening up a little?" Happosai tried squirming out of her grasp, but to no avail.

"I like you just where you are," she gave him a wicked grin as she increased the pressure.

"Sorry, I have...to go...visit some other...ladies," he gasped out. "No...offense." He managed to reach into his gi and drew out a happodaikarin.

"What's th-"

*BOOM*

A singe-covered Aki stood watching Happosai, who had somehow avoided the effects of the blast, bounce away. "The little bugger's dead!"

"I'm with you!" Ryouga raised his fist to the skies. "No one molests members of my family and gets away with it! HAPPOSAI! PREPARE TO DIE!"

Both members of the Hibiki clan set off on their mission of destruction.

Happosai looked back, overjoyed at the pursuit. "I just wish Ranma were among them," he sighed. The absence of his favorite semi-pupil (and pair of breasts) couldn't bring down his mood as he continued to bounce merrily along.

Genma moved another piece. "There's nothing like the smell of the open sea, is there, Tendo?"

"Absolutely," Soun agreed as he contemplated the board. The duo were playing shogi on their traveling board, which Genma was wise enough to bring to the wedding, along with their white and brown gis that both had switched into. Currently they were playing on the foredeck while enjoying the beautiful weather and listening to the seagulls cry out as the waves broke across the ship.

Soun paused in his thoughts to look over Genma's shoulder. "Is that a blue-billed seagull?"

Genma turned around to look at the bird. "No. I'm pretty sure that's a red-footed one."

Soun switched the pieces to a more favorable position while Genma's back was to him. "My mistake."

"Here's some tea, Father." Kasumi poured some for both him and Genma.

"Thank you, Kasumi." Both men said as she went back to her place next to them.

"How can you two be so calm?" Nodoka asked in frustration. "Ranma and Akane's wedding was just ruined."

"We're used to things not working out," Soun said as Genma contemplated his next move. "You can't let it get you down."

"It'll be all right in the end, dear," Genma assured her, then pointed over Soun's shoulder. "I think that's a blue-billed sea gull."

Soun turned to look, allowing Genma to move the pieces. "I do believe you're right, Saotome. You don't see those very often." He turned back to the board.

"I appreciate Ranma's desire to help his friends, it speaks a lot about his character, but we should still be doing something to make certain Ranma keeps his responsibilities in order. Those two will get married!"

"Of course, dear," Genma said finally moving a piece. "Tendo and I are coming up with something now."

"All the two of you are doing is lazing around and cheating at shogi."

Soun and Genma stared with amused grins at Nodoka, who couldn't help making a comparison to the two of them appearing as though they were cats that had just swallowed the canary.

"Now that's where you're wrong, Mrs. Saotome," Soun said.

"We're going to be family," Nodoka corrected. "Please call me Nodoka."

"Right, Nodoka. You see, it is at this shogi board that Saotome and I come up with our best plans."

Genma nodded. "It was over shogi that we decided to unite our families."

"I thought you were out drinking that night," Nodoka reminded him.

"Yes. We were out drinking and playing shogi. We also came up with our plan to seal up the master over one such game as well."

"Too true," Soun agreed. "And we came up with that plan to deal with that demoness, Atsuko." Soun paused. "All right, maybe that wasn't one of our better plans, but most of them are good."

"Almost all of the ones we've come up with to bring Ranma and Akane closer together have come from our collaborations over this board," Genma stated proudly. "And Soun and I have already come up with some basic ideas on how to get the two of them married."

"We're on a ship," Nodoka reminded him.

"And since we're on the open seas, the captain can marry couples," Soun said happily. "All we need to do is get the two of them together with the captain around and instant marriage."

Nodoka nodded her head approvingly. "Not bad. I apologize for underestimating the two of you."

Both Genma and Soun smiled at the compliment.

"We just needed a change of scenery to get our creative juices flowing again. A vacation away from Nerima is prefect, eh, Tendo?"

"Too true, Saotome. Too true."

It was at that moment Happosai bounced around them with a bag full of ladies underwear crying out "What a haul! What a haul!" He was then followed by Ryouga, Aki, over half the hunt pack, and Minami, who was still vowing his death for groping her those months ago.

Genma watched the chase move away from their part of the ship. "On the other hand, no matter how far you go, you can never quite seem to get away."

"Too true, Saotome. Too true."

"There's a pervert on the foredeck!" a crewmen shouted from the bridge.

"Impossible," second helmsman Shelby stated. "The captain's right next to me."

D'Amore struck him on the top of the head, knocking him onto the floor. "Where is the man who would dare defile women on this ship?"

The recovered Shelby held a mirror in front of the captain's face. D'Amore admired himself in it for a second, moving a single lock of hair back into its proper place, before grabbing it and smashing it over Shelby's head, knocking him down once more.

"He just ran back inside of the ship, sir," the crewman who had spotted Happosai earlier stated.

"How dare he molest women on my ship!" D'Amore cried out in overly melodramatic rage.

"Exactly, sir," Shelby barely managed to get out as he staggered to his feet. "That's your job."

D'Amore backhanded him away in disgust, leaving him in a heap on the floor. "Fool! If you were not my mother's brother's cousin's nephew's step-son's roommate's former plumber, I would make you walk the plank for such disrespect. As it is I shall let you off with this warning." He picked the beaten Shelby up and threw him against the bulkhead, leaving him in a heap once more, then drew his sword and went off to hunt Happosais.

One of the other crewmen examined Shelby's crumpled form. "You really ought to learn to keep you mouth shut. You're not Kawada, you know."

"It's not my fault I'm cursed to speak whatever's on my mind," Shelby groaned from the floor.

Ukyou and Ai watched the others run around the ship in pursuit of Happosai. He only managed the briefest of gropes on both girls before fleeing, so they chose to let the offense pass and let the others continue chasing him.

"Ukyou, why are we going to China?"

Ukyou had a feeling this was coming. Now the question was how much of the truth Ai should be told. "Shampoo is in trouble."

"You're talking about Shampoo Saotome, aren't you?" Ai asked.

Ukyou shifted her feet. "Well," she let out reluctantly, "sort of."

"Funny, I would think that if it involved the Chinese, our redheaded Shampoo would be the one concerned, unless there's something going on I don't know about."

Ukyou began to fidget more. "There is."

Ai softened a bit, sensing Ukyou's discomfort. "Can you tell me or are you sworn to secrecy?"

"It's not the sort of thing I'm supposed to talk about."

"Then don't. I trust you implicitly."

The way Ai said that made Ukyou's decision easier. "No. You have a right to know. You can't tell anyone about this, because Shampoo may end up being put to death. Here's what's really going on..."

Ai listened with only the slightest hint of disbelief. "I had no idea. Sex-changing water. How bizarre."

"I'm just glad I was never there." Ukyou sighed with relief. "I probably would have ended up falling in the Spring of Drowned Dog or something."

"No. I picture you more as a wolf," Ai said with a smile. "But you'd be the best looking wolf around." She began petting Ukyou's head, barely restraining her laughter.

"Spring of Drowned Peacock for you," Ukyou stated. "The way you primp yourself all the time."

Ai gave a look of mock indignity at the suggestion. "I was thinking of something more along the lines of Spring of Drowned Mongoose. Something quick and smart."

"Maybe," Ukyou admitted.

They were silent for a few moments before Ai spoke up. "Are you going to risk your life for her?"

Ukyou's shoulders slumped. "She's a friend. A good one, I guess. It's hard to believe with how much I hated her at first. But I don't know. I came to help keep Ranchan out of trouble. I don't know how much I'm willing to risk for Shampoo."

"I just want to know what to expect," Ai said. "I like knowing what the stakes are."

"You don't have to do this. It doesn't concern you."

Ukyou received a sharp blow to the ribs. "If it concerns you, it concerns me. Got it?" Ai said with more than a hint of anger in her voice.

Ukyou knew better than to start an argument she wasn't going to win. "All right. When I figure it out I'll let you know."

"That's better," Ai said, placated.

They looked towards the ocean as the sun set on the horizon. Ai studied Ukyou's features as the dying embers of crimson highlighted her chestnut-colored hair. Even as Ai admired the way the light cast perfect shadows in just the right places upon Ukyou's features, she found herself wishing she had a camera to capture the moment.

"What is it?" Ukyou asked as she realized how intently Ai was staring.

Ai was suddenly struck by a feeling of sadness as the sun set too far and that one moment of perfection was lost, most likely for all time. "I just wish I had enough artistic talent to capture how you appeared just now. You have no idea of how beautiful you really are."

Ukyou smiled for a moment. "Thanks. You're the only person that's ever said anything like that to me."

"You are a sandalwood-eyed beauty who deserves to have armies falling before you so that they may worship the ground you walk on."

"Watch it," Ukyou warned. "You're beginning to sound like Kunou."

"Maybe you bring out the Kunou in me."

Ukyou stared at her for a moment, then burst out deep laughter.

"What is it?" Ai asked in bewilderment.

"I...I...HAHAHA!" Ukyou tried to compose herself as the tears began falling from her eyes. "I just pictured a six inch version of HAHAHA Kunou sitting on your shoulder, shouting out to you about how to describe the beauty of the 'spatula wielding goddess.' HAHAHAHA!" Ukyou fell over laughing.

Ai stood there for a moment, pictured what Ukyou said, then doubled over laughing as well.

Silk stood apart from all the others, watching the sun set; a smile on her face. Part of what had happened was her fault in being late, and it just might end up costing Shampoo everything. But at least one of her plans had worked. The sun was setting in the west, which was off to left side of the ship and towards the back.

TWPOS was staying true to form. Which meant Shampoo now had time. The only question was how much.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yes. The reference to Ukyou falling in Spring of Drowned Wolf was inspired from Wade Tritschler's 'A Scary Thought.'

Special Thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Robert Bader  
Bloodblade  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	35. Those Who Would Dare Dream of Tomorrow II

Prologue

Lime felt his knees buckle from the twelfth consecutive blow, the latest one having connected with his head. It was a credit to his endurance that he had withstood the amount of force that had been used against him; most mountains would have fared less well, but he was finally at the end. All of his own tremendous strength amounted to nothing as his blows had not affected his opponent in the slightest. And the pure savagery of the man -if such a term could be used to describe the massive humanoid before him- was enough to strike fear in Lime's massive breast, even if the huge pile of muscle was fuchsia in color.

Lime looked past his opponent to the fallen men behind him. Over seventy of the troops and Mint had fallen to the attacker. This one had proved himself far more powerful than any of the others that had assaulted the army, save the wind master calling herself Yumi Onita, and Herb had taken care of her.

The thirteenth blow effectively ended the fight, driving Lime to the ground. With the man in tiger skins down, his opponent began shouting triumphantly. "The Great Grond has won once again! None can defeat The Great Grond! Not the armies with their big guns! Not the monsters of the deep! Not the mages of Toril! And not the Chinese either!"

Seeing that he had no other adversaries, The Great Grond once again proceeded north, and unknowingly, towards Mount Phoenix.

"Does The Great Grond usually refer to himself in the third person?"

The Great Grond looked up to see who would dare speak to him that way. It was a girl, hovering in the air and wearing an elaborate suit of dragon scale armor that possessed a slit down the center, showing a V of skin that started at the neck and traveled down to her navel. A long billowing cape that seemed to possess a life of its own flowed behind her, moving on unfelt winds.

"White-haired girl pretty." The Great Grond drooled.

Herb-chan's eyes flared red. "That's Emperor Herb to you! How dare you attack my armies!"

The Great Grond began posturing. "The Great Grond dares anything! The Great Grond is powerful! The Great Grond is invincible! The Great Grond can move mountains!"

Herb-chan's eyes narrowed as she drew a gourd from her belt.

"The Great Grond can stop raging storms! The Great Grond has lots of personality! The Great Grond-"

*SPLASH*

"The Great Grond is now a frog," Herb-chan said dryly as she examined what the fuchsia-colored creature had turned into. A powerful bolt of chi energy blew 'The Great Grond Frog' into 'The Great Grond Tiny Pieces of Frog'.

Lime returned to his feet and stared in awe at Herb-chan. "Wow! How did you know he had a Jusenkyou curse?"

"I didn't, but since five out of the last seven people that have tried to muscle their way past us have been cursed, it wasn't hard to guess." Herb-chan stared at the scorched area The Great Grond had just been occupying. Why was it so many Jusenkyou cursed people were converging on the region?

A wave of dark clouds passed overhead, gaining Herb-chan's attention. The skies had been perfectly clear less than five minutes ago. Of course, the weather had been behaving oddly for the last twelve hours. It could have been some kind of plan the Shogun had come up with. That would explain much. The Shogun had warned Herb-chan there would be some changes in the area, and with her improved chi abilities she now had a feel for the land around her. It was far from a useful ability, and she had no intention of wasting time honing it, but the subtle shift made her wonder exactly what the Shogun had planned. That lack of knowledge was disconcerting.

Herb-chan felt a rumbling and looked towards the east. About ten miles away a pillar of fire, at least four thousand feet high and five hundred feet across, rose to the skies. Rather than fading away in one burst, it remained where it was, burning like some kind of giant pyre.

Herb-chan stared at it and frowned. She really should have been more insistent in learning the Shogun's plans, but in the end it really wasn't any of her concern. All that mattered was that the Shogun was almost done and all of China would soon be Herb-chan's to control. All in just two more days.

Another dimension:  
The Empire of the Five Comets:

The Seer watched as yet another possibility disappeared. There were only two opportunities for change left, and one of them was a true long shot. Should both fail there was a distinct possibility that nothing could be done to prevent the end of the Earth.

And possibly everything else.

Ranma 1/2 Presents  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 35

Those Who Would Dare Dream of Tomorrow II

All C+C greatly appreciated  
You can contact me at sommer

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also given it a home at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

This takes place in an Alternate Universe.

Last chapter:  
After a tremendous battle between the Nerimans and Perfume and her Hunt Pack, Shampoo volunteered to go back top China and home. All of the Nerimans, save Nabiki, elected to travel with Shampoo. Fortunately the group chose the vessel know as' The Worthless Piece of Shit' thereby buying themselves some time, at least they hope. Now that the group is on the ship small talks break out amongst the group as relationships start to reach the points where people must now start making choices...

Side note: Captain D'Amore's name will be spelled D'Amour, what I originally meant for it to be. When I go through the rewrite I'll change the previous references of it to D'Amour.

This: Indicates Chinese  
{} Indicates Thoughts  
[] Indicates Sign Language (Not the panda kind)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you sure you no...I mean don't want me there?" Shampoo asked.

"Oh no! That would definitely fall under the heading of 'Bad Idea'," Ranma assured her. He had dropped by Shampoo's cabin to reassure her that he had not changed his mind about yesterday's conversation, but the last thing in the world he needed when he went to talk with his parents was the perceived source of the problem with him. His hands were going to be full enough as it was without Shampoo being present and complicating matters.

"Oh yeah," Ranma said as he was about to leave. "I thought you ought to know, Kasumi's sick."

Shampoo went from a sitting position on the bed to a standing one in front of Ranma in the blink of an eye. "What do you mean?"

"Relax," Ranma soothed. "It's not that bad. Akane was pretty sure it was just motion sickness. Kasumi's never been on a ship before, so that's probably all it is."

"I'm going to check on her." Shampoo was out the door before Ranma could say anything in return.

"Well how do you like that?" he mumbled under his breath. Still, he probably should not have been that surprised. When it came to Shampoo and Kasumi, if one needed help the other was there. Kind of like him and Akane, except both of them were girls. Well, Shampoo was most of the time.

He was about to close the door behind him when a red blur rushed past and into the room. In less than a second it was in the dresser and sorting through the clothing.

"Hey!" Ranma shouted. "Get out of there, you old coot!"

Happosai continued on, unabated. "I just want to make sure Shampoo's underwear is in order. I heard there was a panty thief on board, so I'm going to make sure all of her things are safe. You can never be too careful with such precious articles of clothing." He began tossing garments on the floor.

"Knock it off! That ain't even her stuff. She just borrowed it from Perfume."

"Ah ha!" Happosai shouted triumphantly and held several items up for Ranma to see. "Somehow I doubt if this is the sort of stuff that Perfume would loan out." He waved a matching set of lacy red bra and panties high in the air.

Ranma couldn't help noticing that the material that was supposed to cover the most private of parts was missing. He pitied poor Shampoo; she had received defective clothes. Obviously they were useless.

"I thought I saw Shampoo in the lingerie shop earlier. Who did she want to impress with these, I wonder?" He waved them tauntingly before Ranma.

"Impress?" Ranma's brain finally kicked into gear as to why Shampoo had gotten such 'useless' items, and exactly who she wanted to impress with them.

"Ha ha! Boy, you're turning as red as my gi!"

Ranma tried to snatch the risqué underwear out of Happosai's grasp, but was far too slow as the master darted just out of reach. "Those ain't yours so give them back!"

Happosai avoided another thrust. "Oh, so you want them now, do you?"

"Yes!"

"I'll make a deal with you. I'll give them back if you'll wear them for me. And as a girl, not as a guy like the last set you ruined!"

"No way!" Ranma reached for him again, only to meet with air.

"No wear, no clothes." Happosai used Ranma's head as a springboard and bounced out of the room.

"Give me those!" Ranma set off in pursuit.

Shampoo hurried to Kasumi's cabin and burst in. Kasumi had been resting on her bed when she turned, startled at the intrusion. She relaxed once she saw who her visitor was. "Shampoo, I love having you here, but please knock first."

"Sorry," Shampoo said sheepishly as she closed the door behind her. The eldest Tendo girl started to rise, but was gently pushed down by the purple-haired Amazon. "You rest." It was said softly, but with an underlying tone of command.

"But I'm feeling much better," Kasumi insisted.

Shampoo placed her restraining hand on Kasumi once more. "Stay still. I'll take care of you." The hand moved to Kasumi's temple to see if she felt unusually warm.

"I'm certain it's just motion sickness. I've never been on a ship before."

"That's what Ranma told me, but I'll stay here and make sure." Shampoo retrieved a chair and took up a position next to the bed, telling Kasumi she would get whatever was needed.

It felt odd to Kasumi that someone else should be taking care of her. It was a good feeling, but at the same time she knew part of that enjoyment was because of who was doing it. She relaxed a little bit and began talking. "Have you figured out a way to keep your people from finding out about the curse?"

"No." Shampoo was still at a loss of how to go about solving the dilemma. There had to be some way to do it. There just had to.

"Would your people really hurt you if they find out?"

Shampoo nodded. "It's one of our most sacred laws. If it was not for our greatest leader specifically ordering the spring remain untouched, it would have been destroyed centuries ago. If my people discover my curse, I'm doomed." Shampoo bowed her head. Admitting that the people she had grown up with almost her entire life would do that to her still hurt.

"What if," Kasumi paused to moisten her lips. "What if you were in your male form? They wouldn't have anyway of knowing it was really you, would they? You'd be safe then."

Shampoo shook her head. "It would be only temporary. For running twice, my people would always be on the lookout for me. Some would hunt me down and try to bring me back. And even if I tried to hide, the odds are someone would eventually find me."

"What if you were locked in your male form? They wouldn't be able to find you then. You could live your life out as a man."

She considered what Kasumi proposed. "I don't want to be a boy for the rest of my life."

"But the alternative..." Kasumi let that trail off.

Shampoo's brow creased as she forced herself to think along those lines. She did not want to be a male, but the loathing that had first accompanied the curse was gone. She willingly switched genders back and forth like most people changed clothing, and if a situation called for it she would splash herself with cold water without hesitation. Even getting caught in the rain didn't bother her anymore. Her hairstyle had been altered for so long she had almost forgotten what it was like before the curse. Almost all of her clothes were now unisex, like Ranma's. She had adapted to the curse almost totally. But to lose her femininity entirely, even if it meant saving her life, seemed like too much. Even worse than that, it would also mean forsaking Ranma. He might not mind her being cursed and unable to bear children, but there was absolutely no way he would go for a relationship with someone that was male all the time, even if that someone's soul was that of a woman.

Kasumi reached out and grasped Shampoo's hand. "If you do, I promise you won't be alone."

Shampoo gaped at her in astonishment.

"I remember what you said to me when I was under the effects of the love pill," Kasumi said, maintaining her handhold. "It took a while, but the memories eventually came back. You said you wouldn't let me be alone, even though it would have meant a sacrifice for you. Well, I promise you, you won't be alone either, and I wouldn't think it was a sacrifice at all."

Shampoo panicked and tore her hand out of Kasumi's. "Shampoo just remembered, I have to go see great grandmother about some Amazon things." She realized she was speaking too quickly and relaxed. "Do you think you'll be all right?"

Kasumi was taken aback from Shampoo's initial reaction, but seeing Shampoo calm down, relaxed as well. "Yes. I'll be fine."

"Good," Shampoo said curtly and made left the cabin. Visiting her friend had certainly led to some unexpected things. If there was no other way, could she sacrifice her womanhood to stay alive? Kasumi was all but telling her she could have a life as a man with the eldest Tendo; the same thing Shampoo had done at the beach. An offer of commitment freely given. All that was needed was to accept or refuse.

She shook her head. Taking that particular course of action would require some thought, and surely there was something else that could be done besides giving up any chance of becoming a woman ever again. There had to be some other way.

Akane sat in her room, waiting for Ranma. He was supposed to come by to pick her up for the meeting with the parents. The two of them were going to make a united front in their decision. Well, Ranma's decision, which she was going to back.

"He's late, the jerk." Her words held none of the anger they usually did. The phrase was used more out of habit than anything else. It had all been so simple: Get married to Ranma. Go on honeymoon. Live happily ever after, eventually. Pretty simple. Well, more like relatively simple if it involved Ranma. Nothing was ever truly simple with him. That was both a good and bad thing. He was certainly more interesting than any other boy she had ever known. He was also more frustrating than any man alive. That was the dichotomy which had compelled her to fall in love with him, even if she hadn't wanted to admit it until yesterday.

Out of control. Something every martial artist was supposed to prevent from happening to them, but it had happened to her. Then again, nothing could corral love, now could it? It overrode everything else. Anger, jealousy, envy, frustration. All were things she had felt before and after meeting Ranma. All of them had been laid low, or at least beaten into submission momentarily, by Akane and her acceptance of what she felt for her fiancé.

Now if only the jerk felt the same way about her.

He just had to have feelings for Shampoo. How could he have not known about them beforehand? Akane had seen it. The Amazon had tried to put the moves on Ranma for months. So if he had wanted to get out of the engagement he could have run off at any time. But instead he had waited until the last minute, when Shampoo dragged him away and tried to run off with him. And he went along with her, sort of.

The jerk.

Now it was different. Now he wanted time to figure things out. Why should that be? Hadn't he have months to try to sort out his feelings about the two of them? He should have figured out who he cared for months ago. None of this indecision should have been occurring.

Hypocrite.

That one was not directed towards Ranma. Akane had not understood how she felt about him until confronted with the idea that he might leave her forever. She couldn't tell him how she felt until yesterday. Oh yes, Akane Tendo was SO much more decisive than her fiancé.

That was past her. She had made her choice. Now all she had to worry about was Ranma's decision, and the rest of the problems life was going to throw at her afterwards.

The waiting was the worst thing of all.

A knock on the door snapped her out of her reverie. It was about time Ranma showed up. How should she react to his being late? In the past it would have been irritation and anger, and now it had been made more intense by the trepidation she felt. But might that not drive him away? Perhaps it was time to be more...understanding of his feelings. As long as he at least tried to extend the same courtesy to her. She wasn't the only one that was going to have to change, at least a little bit, to make things truly work between the two of them. But for a change she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, at least for a little while. It wasn't like he was cruel by nature. It was just that they seemed to push all the wrong buttons with one another, at least some of the time. Maybe they could put the worst of those times behind them. Hopefully.

All of that went through her mind as she tried smiling to put Ranma at ease and opened the door. "It's about time you showed up." That part hadn't come out right. So much for understanding. Apparently she was going to need a little more practice before it became second nature to her. However, once she got a good look at her visitor's face, she realized that offending Ranma with what she had just said was no longer a concern.

"I'm glad you were expecting me," Tarou said as he brushed past the surprised Akane and stood in the center of the room, looking expectedly at her. He appeared still somewhat beaten, despite falling asleep when he arrived on the ship and resting almost a full twenty four hours. As great as his powers of recovery were, they were still a far cry from Ranma's.

"Hi, Tarou. Umm, I was expecting someone...else."

Tarou appeared a little crestfallen at that. "Fem-boy?"

"Don't call him that, please."

Tarou shook his head. "You have my heart, but not my head. I speak my mind no matter what. Sorry if that upsets you," his voice actually softened a little. "I am, but I call them like I see them."

She understood, sort of, and there was the problem with the other part of what he had just said. She wasn't used to someone being so straightforward with her, even him. "I know why you're here and why you said what you did at the wedding. I understand how you feel. You mean a lot to me, but I have to marry Ranma."

"You mean the guy that dumped you at the altar yesterday?" He heavily emphasized the last word.

"H...he didn't dump me," she insisted. "He's just confused because of what Shampoo did. It's all her fault!"

Tarou moved from the middle of the room to stand next to Akane, placing his hands on his hips as he confronted her. "I may love you so much it hurts sometimes, but girl, you've got to get a reality check. She did not make him do anything he didn't want to do. The only reason he went off with her was because he WANTED to. The only reason he called off the wedding was because he WANTED to. The only reason he's going with her now is because he WANTS to. And if you weren't so close to the matter you'd see that."

"You're wrong," she protested so softly she was almost inaudible. "He doesn't love her. He's just protecting her. That's the way he is. If it were me, or anyone else, he'd be doing the same thing."

"Oh I don't deny he's a sap, and would do something like that for anyone, but he isn't doing this for her for any other reason then the urging he's getting from his pants."

"He is not that way!"

Tarou shook his head in frustration. Akane was the only one worth the grief of trying to explain things that were so obvious. Anyone else and he would have given up on them. It was time to do something different. "He had a choice between marrying you or going with her. He made his choice."

"She just manipulated him!"

"She loves him. Do you think that if you love someone and try to win their heart it's nothing more than manipulation?"

"No," she said with little confidence.

"Do you think I'm manipulating you?"

Akane was caught off-guard by the question. "Of course not. You wouldn't do something like that."

"Not to you, no. But I can't deny I've got a bit of your sister in me. Sometimes I'm a little manipulative. I'm no angel, Akane, but everything I've said about you is true. And everything I'm telling you about Ranma and Shampoo is true. If you keep going on like this he's going to hurt you, and I don't want that to happen. I want to protect you."

"Ranma wouldn't hurt me. You don't have to protect me."

"He won't hurt you?" Tarou snorted contemptuously at that. "What do you call what he did to you yesterday?"

Silence was all that answered the question.

"That's what I thought." He began grinning smugly. "He's too busy protecting Shampoo to worry about you now. He's discarded you, Akane. He's an insensitive idiot that can't see what the best thing going today is. All he's worried about is his Chinese slut and the problems she has. Let him have her. Let go now, otherwise he's just going to hurt you some more."

"He won't do that."

Tarou shook his head. Why did she have to make things so hard? "Has he said anything about getting married since yesterday?"

"He said he wants to wait until this is all over."

Tarou laughed at that. "Oh no! He'd never dream of hurting you. Just because he knows how badly you want to get married and wants to postpone the thing until whenever is no reason to think he doesn't have your best interests at heart."

"He has to know how he feels about me first," she said softly. Why was Tarou twisting things around to make it sound like Ranma didn't love her? What he was saying made sense, but it couldn't be true.

"If he doesn't know how he feels about you then it isn't love. With love there aren't any doubts. I know. I don't have any. I've overcome everything for you. When we first met I managed to tell you my last name. Up until then, whenever any girl asked me that, I'd just run away. But not from you. I've gone out of my way to make you happy. That's something I've never done for anyone. I've even accepted my name, to show you that I fear nothing so much as losing you. I love you."

Akane shook her head. "Don't say things like that!"

"Why?" Tarou insisted. "Because it makes you afraid? You aren't used to someone being open with you, or is it maybe because it makes you doubt how you think you feel about Fem-boy? Are you afraid of me?"

"No."

"Then trust me," he pleaded. "Just look at what you're doing. You are going to China to risk your life over someone you hate, who has the heart of the man you're supposed to marry, and all because of your fiancé. What kind of a guy does that to someone that he's supposed to love? I know damn well I wouldn't do that to you. Let him go."

Akane shook her head. "I can't. I love him."

"YOU IDIOT!" Tarou at last snapped. For the first time in years he had lost total emotional control. "How can you say that?! I'm more handsome! A better martial artist! Smarter! More powerful! I've got a better personality! I'm a real man and not some gender bending freak! He's just a two-timing user of women! He isn't worthy of your love!"

"Tarou, calm down." She moved closer, trying to placate him.

He seized her roughly by the shoulders. "I should just grab you and fly off this scow! If you won't protect yourself then I'll do it for you!"

"Don't you dare!" She tried wriggling out of his grasp, but the more powerful youth held tight.

"Fine." He kept his hands where they were. "For now. But no matter what happens I won't let you get hurt."

And with that he drew her close and kissed her, pouring all of his love into it. She was too much in shock to do anything other then fall limp in his grasp. The embrace lasted but a moment before he let go of her completely.

"That's so you realize there's someone waiting for you that really loves you. I hope you come to your senses soon, though. Otherwise the pain of when he totally abandons you is just going to get worse." He departed out of the room with only one backward glance. "And then I'll kill him."

Akane remained where she was, then slumped to her knees, murmuring "Tarou no baka," under her breath.

"Give me those, you little creep!" Ranma could feel the silky garments brush against his fingertips. Slowly he had been gaining on the perverted one. All he needed was another centimeter and they would be his. Of course that had been all he needed two other times, yet the old master put on a burst of speed, widening the distance between the two.

Then he did it. He grasped the end of the bra, freeing it from Happosai's clutches. Surprisingly his second grab retrieved the bottoms of them as well.

"HA HA!" he shouted out triumphantly and waved them in the air. "I rescued them from you!"

"Boy! You have no idea of how disappointed I am in you! Following in the master's footsteps. I thought I taught you better than that!"

"Son! Is this the sort of behavior Akane is going to have to expect from you from now on?!"

"Ranma, I truly hope those are Akane's undergarments."

Ranma turned in fear to see that he had 'liberated' the lingerie right in front of his parents cabin. Apparently they had opened the door just as he had completed his jubilant declaration, missing everything that had happened before. His father and Soun were crying about Happosai now having a true disciple while his mother just looked at him expectantly.

"It ain't like that!" He protested, waving his hands before them, the underwear still in his grasp. "It was that old co..." He trailed off as he realized Happosai was long gone.

Happosai continued bouncing down the corridor. The plan had gone off without a hitch. "That's what you get for refusing to play model for me, little punk. Maybe next time you'll learn to respect your elders." It was time to make a run down the Amazon wing again. So many cuties and so little time to give each one the attention they deserved. Still, he would try his best.

"The old goat set me up," Ranma complained.

"That's irrelevant right now," Nodoka said, insisting Ranma make himself comfortable.

Things were not going quite the way Ranma had hoped. The plan was to get Akane and meet the parents to tell them the wedding was postponed, together. But that wasn't going to be. Maybe things were going to work out for the best. All the disappointment would be directed at him, and it would save Akane from the protests the trio were going to make. And it was all his fault. Why should Akane suffer for his actions? He knew what it was like to suffer from his father's mistakes. In that he could be better than the old man.

He sat down before the trio. There was a cigarette dangling from Soun's mouth; a bad sign. Genma looked about just as pleased. Nodoka appeared the least harsh, looking over Ranma with a mixture of love and concern.

"You guys are probably wondering exactly why...ah...things turned out like they did."

"That's something of an understatement," Nodoka said. "Right now you're supposed to be married and on your honeymoon."

"It's not too late to make this your wedding cruise, though," Genma pointed out. He quieted down when he noticed the glare he received from his wife that told him who would be running the conversation.

"Honeymoon. Right." Ranma tried figuring out how to explain things. Dealing with his parents was not easy. It took him a moment to settle on an explanation.

"That's been put off indefinitely." There was something to be said for taking the direct approach...

"WHAT?!"

...unfortunately, it wasn't good. "Now let me explain."

"You had better do some explaining, and quick, son!" Soun warned, his cigarette having hit the floor upon Ranma's declaration.

"Akane and I talked it over. We agreed it would be best if we waited a while. We're kind of unsure about how fast everything went."

The three parents looked visibly relieved.

"And this delay has nothing to do with Shampoo, correct?" Nodoka asked.

Ranma began fidgeting. How was he to respond to that one? Maybe the slow answer approach would be used this time. Especially since he didn't know how to explain things and his last answering technique had turned into a bust.

"Ranma," Nodoka's voice took on a tone of warning.

He remained silent.

"This has nothing to do with Shampoo, does it?" The tone was louder than the first time she said it.

"Maybe it sort of does, sort of," he answered reluctantly. He hated doing that to his mother. Of all the things he wanted to avoid, disappointing her was the first on the list. They still hadn't had any real time to just talk together and be a normal mother and son.

Nodoka turned to Genma and hissed. "This is all your fault, isn't it?"

"No! I always told the boy he had to marry a Tendo."

"It ain't his fault." Ranma surprised himself by defending his father. "For a change."

"Then why, Ranma?" Nodoka almost pleaded as she looked upon her son.

"It's not like anyone ever believes me, but I'll tell you anyway." Ranma felt his heart sink. He was going to disappoint all of them, but there was no other way or he would have taken it. "I'm confused about how I feel about both Akane and Shampoo. You see, just Shampoo told me how she felt about me yesterday."

"Then you're just confused because of that," Nodoka insisted.

"Not exactly. I think I kind of suspected it, but didn't want to admit to it cause it would have messed up everything. But now that she said it right to my face, and I can't deny I might feel the same way about her. Except I don't know, and maybe I lo...like Akane."

Nodoka sighed. "It's unfortunate Akane's not more open-minded about a mistress."

Ranma pictured that in his mind for all of two seconds. He could barely handle either of the girls as it was. Once he was married to either one he was going to have his hands more than full for the rest of his life. Put the two of them together and it would have meant the death of him within five years. He'd have to go on a training journey for at least as long as his father had just to stay alive. He cared for them both deeply, and did not want to hurt either of them, but there was such a thing as too much. No matter how much of a 'man among men' he was, he was still only human. "I think I can safely say not one of us would go for that."

"You have to marry Akane, son," Soun insisted.

"Yes. It's a matter of honor," Genma agreed.

Ranma took a deep breath. "Look, Akane and I talked it over. Neither one of us wants to be in a loveless marriage. I can't do that to her. I won't make her miserable for the rest of her life."

"Well, there's always Kasumi or Nabiki, I suppose." Soun and Genma began talking amongst themselves.

"I wouldn't do that to Kasumi either, or do that to myself if you tried hooking me up to that extortionist."

"Then you'll have to marry Akane," Soun insisted.

Genma nodded. "It's a matter of honor and not subject to debate. There's no way around it. You will marry a Tendo."

For all of the fathers posturing, it was the disapproving stare of his mother that bothered Ranma the most. It was her respect he wanted more than anything.

Why did the parents have to be so stubborn? Why couldn't they just let go of the promise and let him marry whoever would make him the happiest? But then again, they agreed to marry him off to someone he had never met before he could even walk. His happiness was never a consideration of theirs.

Despite the anger he felt over that, the desire to please his mother was still there. He couldn't bring himself to hurt her.

He cleared his throat. "Look, Akane and I talked a while and agreed to postpone the wedding. So it ain't like it's off or nothing. It's just...delayed. That's all." He was thankful Shampoo was not around to hear him waffle like that. The last thing he needed was for the Amazon to start harassing him. And if the old ghoul got involved then he'd never have a moment's peace. No. Shampoo would not be finding out what happened in this particular conversation.

"So you're still going to marry her?" Nodoka asked with an even voice.

"We haven't officially called off the wedding, so it's still on. But there's no way anything can happen until after this whole Amazon mess is over."

The parents looked somewhat placated by that.

"Well, I got things to do to try to help Shampoo. See ya'." He hugged his mother good-bye and shot his father a cold stare, then left the cabin, feeling like a heel. Akane would probably be happy about the way things went. At least there was that.

Aki Yoshida tried following the numbers along the cabin doors once more. That was usually a pretty reliable way of getting from place to place. However, when she took her eyes off of them, even for a second, they'd change and she'd lose her way again. At the moment she was within fifty numbers of the room she wanted, and was about to cry out in joy at being so close to her goal when someone gained her attention.

"Excuse me, Miss?"

Aki reflexively answered the nasally whine. It appeared to be one of the Amazons. "You're Condom, right?"

"NO!" the girl protested. "I'm Tablet! What kind of stupid name is Condom?"

Aki shrugged, "I knew someone named Trojan, once. So it ain't that weird to me. What did you want?"

Tablet whined some more. "I can't find any lifeboats."

"That's because there aren't any. The captain's philosophy is, if he has to go down with the ship, so does everyone else," Aki explained.

Tablet wandered off, whining about how she was never going to get back home alive.

Aki watched her departing form, then realized what she had done and looked back to the cabin room numbers. She was now somewhere around three hundred rooms away. "I didn't even move! How the hell did that happen?!" She began yelling at the ship. "Do you hate me?! Is that it?! Do you want me to never find anything on here, or is that you like to see me suffer?!"

The ship didn't respond.

"Ah, my bandanna-clad temptress, do not weep at your misfortune." Kunou appeared and maneuvered his hands behind his back, then thrust a bouquet of red roses forward.

"For me?" Aki said quietly and accepted the bouquet, breathing in its intoxicating fragrance. "No one ever gets me flowers. Thank you!" She embraced him.

"Ah, to accept the gratitude of one...most...ah." Kunou suddenly found himself out of breath as the air was squeezed out of his lungs and pain began to shoot out from his back.

"That's so sweet of you. Except for Ryouga, I haven't met a gentleman around here for months. Thank-," she stopped talking as she heard a grunt of pain come from Kunou. She released him, only to see that he was nearly bent in half from the pressure she had applied. She'd done it again. "Sorry. I didn't mean to break you like that. Sometimes I get carried away."

"It's quite...all right. I am...used...to it. I...shall...make my way...to my...cabin." Somehow Kunou managed to leave under his own power and headed for his cabin, leaving Aki to sigh mournfully. She was never going to find anyone tough enough to withstand her.

Once more she set upon her course until coming upon one of her fellow crewmen. She made a quick request for him to lead her to the cabin she sought, and a few minutes later ended up at the room. The crewman left as she gave a powerful rap on the door.

"Enter."

Aki went inside to see Kyoko Onamuri. She took a moment to examine her cousin's girlfriend. "Where'd you get the cheerleader outfit?"

"The captain gave one to me and Ai. He has a whole closet filled with all sorts of outfits. There were French maid outfits, police women uniforms, airline stewardess outfits, naughty nurse ensembles, a giant teddy bear costume, and all sorts of other ones, and then he wanted me to try them on for him even though I have a boyfriend."

"That's because the man's a pig."

Kyoko looked suspiciously at her visitor. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Aki held up her hands. "Relax. I'm not here to kill you."

"The others told me why you tried to do that," Kyoko said. "That still doesn't tell me why you're here."

"I just want to meet my cousin's girlfriend in order to get to know her better." And make sure she was worthy of Ryouga. From the brief time the two of them had met, it had been easy for Aki to tell that Ryouga was desperate for attention from the opposite sex, and would probably grab the first thing that came onto him. Someone had to watch out for his interests, and what better judge of character than her?

Kyoko nodded. "I guess it would be good to know you better. We're going to be family someday."

That stunned Aki. "Ryouga's proposed to you?"

"Not yet. But he will." Kyoko could not help smiling in anticipation for that happy day. "We're perfect for one another."

"Perfect? In what way?"

"We just are. We love each other."

"Oh," Aki said. "Have you two had sex yet?"

Kyoko nearly fell over in shock. "Of course not! That's just not proper! We're going to wait until we get married."

"Relax! I just wanted to make sure you guys are sexually compatible. That's a big part of marriage you know."

Kyoko gazed suspiciously at Aki. "Are you sure that's the only reason you're asking?"

Aki mirrored Kyoko's suspicious gaze. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What were you doing in Ryouga's bed the last time he was here?"

"What do you think I was doing?"

Kyoko's eyes narrowed further. "Tell me."

Once more Aki mirrored Kyoko's gaze. "Not that it's any of your business, but I was trying to sleep with him."

"You were trying to sleep with your cousin?"

"It happened before I knew who he was. Of course, that sort of thing isn't exactly unheard of back home, but it's just not my thing."

"So if he wasn't family you would have done that sort of thing with him?" Kyoko's voice had dropped a great deal from its usually high pitch.

Aki's normally husky voice dropped the same amount. "In an instant."

Kyoko leaned close enough that the two were almost nose to nose. "Is the b-word the only thing that makes you crazy?"

Aki leaned forward so that there was no more than a millimeter between the two's noses. "Yep."

"Slut," Kyoko said, not in anger, but as though she was stating a fact.

Aki backed off and gave one of her cutesy smiles. "We seem to be getting off on the wrong foot. Why don't we do something together?"

Kyoko's expression did not change as she continued to stare flatly at Aki. "Like what?"

"How about I take you fishing?"

Ryouga wandered about the ship, asking everyone if they had seen Aki. He tried to make certain he stayed above the decks, lest he become lost and never be seen again, but after an hour the best he had come up with was a crewman that said he had seen Aki going fishing with Kyoko. That was a pleasant thought. The two of them were getting along after the misunderstanding from the other day.

As Ryouga searched he took notice of the weather. It was behaving so abnormally one would think they were still in Nerima. It had already rained five times and hailed twice in two hours, which would not have been so odd save that the sunlight showed in-between each time, as though it hadn't rained at all. It was just plain weird.

Ryouga was still in the middle of his search when two girls sprang out from around the corner ahead. An ambush. It took only a moment for Ryouga to recognize his two opponents from the other day: Foam and Soap.

Ryouga dropped into a defensive stance. "What are you two doing? Are you trying to get revenge?"

The two Amazons began talking to one another in Chinese. Eventually Foam spoke up. "We no want to fight. We only fight because we need Shampoo. Now we have Shampoo, so no need to fight."

"What do you want then?"

"What name?"

"Ryouga Hibiki."

Foam nodded her head in approval. "Like name. It strong name. Ryouga impress Foam and Soap very much. Take much punishment and very strong. Ryouga would no beat Foam and Soap, but put up good fight."

Ryouga became embarrassed by the praise, placing his hand behind his head as he began laughing nervously. "Thanks."

Ryouga suddenly became aware of the fact that the Amazons had suddenly moved next to him, one in front and one in back.

"Ryouga is very strong. Foam and Soap want to..." Foam rubbed her body against his. "...see how strong Ryouga is in bed. Ryouga strong in bed, yes?"

"In b...b...bed?"

"At same time. Is opportunity many mens would want. We make, how does Ryouga say, Amazon sandwich."

Soap moved her hands along Ryouga's backside. That, along with the blood he felt rushing to his nose was all it took to snap him out of his trance. He took off running in some random direction, leaving the duo to watch the dust cloud he had left behind.

"What a tease," Soap said, disappointed. Foam simply nodded her head in agreement.

Ukyou barely got out of the way of the fleeing Ryouga in time. He was more than ten feet past her before she shouted at him to stop. "Hey, what's going on?" She asked as he caught his breath.

"Amazons," he gasped.

"Did they try to attack you?" Ukyou drew her spatula. "Don't worry. I'll help."

"It's not that."

Ukyou's eyebrow shot up. "Oh? What was it then?"

Ryouga paused as he tried to figure out what to say next. Ukyou had reacted badly to the revelation that he and Aki had slept in the same bed, so there was no way he was going to tell her that two of the Amazons had just tried to jump in the sack with him together. "They just wanted me to give them a hard time."

"What?!"

"I meant they were just giving me a hard time!" Ryouga panicked. He had to change the subject "Where's Ai?"

"Got me."

"You don't know?" That was a surprise. The two girls did nearly everything together any more.

"I'm not her keeper. The last thing she told me was that she was going to try to find a cheerleader outfit. Her dress was pretty trashed from the fight. Not that my suit's that much better." She fingered the clothing. It had a couple of holes in it and needed to be cleaned and pressed badly.

"Yeah. It's a good thing I had a couple of spare sets of clothes left over from the last time I was here." Aki had been kind enough to sew some and save them for him in the hopes Ryouga would return someday.

"I'll get by," Ukyou said. "I'm sorry I was angry with your cousin. I'll make it up to her later."

"Thanks." That was a relief. Now Aki would get along with both of his friends.

Ukyou became pensive. "Ryouga, why are you here?"

"Do you mean why am I helping Shampoo, or do you mean in a metaphysical sense?"

Ukyou almost said the latter just to see if he really could explain it. "Why are you helping Shampoo?"

"Originally it was because you were coming, but now I think I'd have come anyway."

"Why? You don't even like Shampoo."

"Well," Ryouga let out reluctantly. "Just because I really don't care much for her or Ranma doesn't mean I want them dead. And it's not like I hate Shampoo or anything, even if she did knock me into one of the springs. And if nothing else, there's no reason why she should be killed just because she's been cursed. It's just wrong. I have to do something."

Ukyou nodded. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't doing it for me."

"I'd be here anyway for you, but it's not the only reason."

"Good. Now I have to do some more thinking, so if you don't mind I'll be going." She turned to go, but paused before going too far. "Ryouga?"

"Yes?"

"I'd have come along for you too."

He felt himself blush as he looked to the ground. "Thanks."

"Take care."

"You too." Ukyou continued on.

Ryouga again began his search for Aki, finally discovering her leaning next to a rail, fishing over the side with a large pole.

"Hey, cuz!" She waved to Ryouga.

"Hi. Where's Kyoko? I heard she was fishing with you."

"Nope. You heard wrong. I'm fishing with Kyoko."

Ryouga scratched his head. "Umm, Aki, that's what I just said."

"No. It isn't." She returned her attention to fishing.

"Yes it is." He began to wonder of yesterday's incident had a more lasting effect than what he originally thought. "Aki," he said slowly. "I just said Kyoko was fishing with you."

"And I told you I'm fishing with Kyoko."

Ryouga was about to correct her again when something about the way Aki phrased that clicked. "Oh no! Don't tell me you're..."

Aki smiled and reeled in the line. As it was reeled up to the top, the bait Aki was using finally became visible. Kyoko was wrapped up in chains on the end of the line.

Aki examined her closely. "I see you haven't caught anything yet. You just don't seem to be getting the hang of fishing. Back you go." She began to release the line once more.

"WWWAAAAHHHH! Save me Ryouga-kun! She's trying to feed me to the sharks!"

"KYOKO!" Ryouga rushed over and snagged the line before Kyoko was lowered any further. Quickly he brought her back onto the ship and snapped her bonds. Kyoko immediately embraced Ryouga, sniffling mightily.

"Just what do you think you're doing?!" Ryouga was surprised to find his anger building at his cousin.

"Oh, relax." Aki said nonchalantly. "If I was seriously trying to feed her to the sharks I'd have chummed the waters first."

"That's no excuse." Ryouga dried a few of Kyoko's tears. "You all right?"

"Yes," Kyoko sniffled.

"Why don't you go back to your room? I'll take care of this." He turned to Aki.

"But Ryouga-" Kyoko started to say.

"Go back. Please."

Kyoko gave him a hurt look, but did as she was told. Once she was gone Ryouga turned to Aki. "What was that all about?"

Aki became angry. Ryouga was stepping way out of line. "It was a private matter."

"She's my friend. It is my business."

Aki tried to control her temper. "She called me a slut! There's no way I was going to let that pass. And if you think just because she's your girl that makes her off limits, think again. I deal with people on the basis of who they are, not who they know. If she's going to shoot her mouth off, she pays the price. And if you got a problem with me defending myself then I got a problem with you, family or no."

Ryouga was somewhat taken aback by Aki's intensity. "She called you that?"

"She did."

That was different. Aki was more than entitled to defend her honor. "I apologize for her then. She shouldn't have said that. She just gets defensive sometimes."

"Let her do her own apologizing. Maybe I'll accept it." But that wasn't likely. Something about the cheerleader rubbed Aki wrong. "Look, my problem's with her, not you. I don't want to let something like this spoil our reunion. As long as she keeps her mouth shut I promise to not fish with her again. Will that make you happy?"

"Yes. As long as you don't try to show her the floor of the ocean by tying her to the anchor and throwing her overboard."

"Aww! You spoil all my fun."

"I know you too well."

Aki gave him a wide smile. Things were back to normal.

"I think the Japanese boy is cute," Boudoir said to her companions.

Rei Za and Shi Fan shook their heads disapprovingly. "I'm telling you, Xian Pu has an interest in him. You'd better leave him alone," Shi Fan warned.

Boudoir waved the warning off. "Ah, I'm not afraid of her. She's lost her touch. I could see that Akane Tendo girl was hitting on him and Xian Pu did nothing about it. She didn't even smack the girl around. I'm telling you, Xian Pu's spent too much time among the Japanese and inherited their soft ways. I'll take that Ranma boy for my own and she won't...what's wrong with you two?" Both Rei Za and Shi Fan backed away fearfully from Boudoir. She was about to reproach them when she felt the presence behind her. Boudoir turned.

"Oh. Hi there, Xian Pu," she said haughtily. After saying all of those things in front of her companions, Boudoir was not about to back down because Shampoo looked a little angry.

When Shampoo did nothing more than stare at her, Boudoir began to go on. "How much of that did you hea- "

Boudoir suddenly found a hand clamped around her jaw. Before she could react Shampoo rammed her head into the metal wall four times in rapid succession, giving Boudoir a major concussion as a metal panel on the wall buckled with the fourth blow. Everything became hazy for Boudoir, and she was only dimly aware of being dragged along by her hair somewhere.

Shampoo continued towing Boudoir out to the rear deck as Rei Za and Shi Fan followed. It seemed a little rough, but Boudoir had been shooting off her mouth, and it was within Shampoo's rights to answer such a challenge.

Shampoo stopped at the railing on the end of the ship, releasing Boudoir's hair and grabbing her by the ankle. With hardly any effort Boudoir was suddenly dangling over the side, right above the propellers. All it would take was Shampoo to release her grip and the suspended Amazon would plunge to her death.

"This is a message to all of my sisters," Shampoo told Rei Za and Shi Fan, who were taken aback by the anger on Shampoo's face. "Akane Tendo is tolerated by me for a number of reasons that I will not explain to you. It is not your concern. No other will be allowed to make contact with Ranma Saotome in any way, or they will answer to me. I may have been gone for a while, but I have not 'lost my touch,' as Boudoir so delicately put it. I am still the champion, as Boudoir would kindly attest to, and I will eagerly prove that to any that wish to challenge me." Shampoo shook Boudoir back and forth. "Let this one serve as a warning."

And with that Shampoo threw Boudoir back on board, the nearly unconscious girl landing at the feet of Rei Za and Shi Fan. Shampoo walked off, leaving the others to deliver the message.

It was not long before Shampoo came across Aki, who was looking over a railing at the water below. Ryouga had left only a short while ago, but she wanted to continue enjoying the air, and the peculiar weather. If she didn't know better, she would have sworn there was a dark bank of clouds that was moving against the wind and in the direction of the ship.

"Hey, Shamps. What's happening?"

"I beat up one of my sisters to warn the others what would happen if they tried to hit on Ranma."

"Good for you." Aki clapped Shampoo on the back. She could appreciate brusque gestures of intimidation. "Hey! I want to ask you something."

"Go ahead." Shampoo liked Aki. She was blunt and to the point, something Shampoo could respect.

"Now, none of the others told me, but you seem to be in some kind of trouble with your people. I forgot to ask Ryouga, but I heard Ranma's dad talking about you getting killed if something happened. What's up with that?"

Shampoo sighed. It was true that the fewer people that knew about her situation the better, but Aki was aware of the curse and could be trusted. Their trip to Pangea proved that.

"It has to do with my-" Shampoo didn't get any farther as a sudden downpour from the clouds Aki had noticed earlier hit the ship. The rain lasted for all of ten seconds, then stopped, leaving a soaking wet Shampoo-kun and Aki.

"Weird weather we're having, wouldn't you say?" Aki said as cheerfully as she could as she brushed back her wet mop of hair.

It was at that moment that Tablet, Sash, So Fu and Lin Fhall came upon the duo. The group was still about thirty feet away, but even from there could make out Shampoo-kun's features.

"He is gorgeous." So Fu practically went into heat.

"You got that right," Tablet moaned in agreement. Maybe she wouldn't mind sharing his germs.

"He's nowhere near as good-looking as my husband. Oh, Mamoru, I miss you so much. WWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Sash ran away, crying.

Tablet smiled as Sash ran off. There was one less in the competition to bag that handsome male.

*ACHOO*

Tablet turned slowly to the person that had sneezed on her.

"Sorry about that," Lin said as she wiped her nose. "This cold has been bothering me for the last couple of days now, and the sneezes just sneak up on you."

Tablet shook for exactly two seconds before screaming about being contaminated and how she had to get to her antibiotics before it was too late.

Lin smiled at the retreating form. "That takes care of her. What a sucker." She stared at So Fu. There was no easy way to get rid of her. "We could fight this out," Lin offered.

"Or we could let the male choose," So Fu suggested, not wishing to expend herself in a fight.

"Agreed. May the best warrior win."

The girls shook hands then approached Shampoo-kun, each trying to look as seductive as possible. "Hello," So Fu began, hoping the boy spoke Chinese. "What's your name?"

Aki began to laugh. "Don't you recognize him? It's Xian- "

A hand was clamped over her mouth. " -Sheng."

"Mister what?" Lin asked.

Shampoo-kun shook his head. "Not Xiansheng. Xian Sheng."

"Oh. Well your name sure is cute!" both girls said simultaneously.

Shampoo-kun tried to keep from retching. This was exceptionally bad. He recognized an all too familiar look of lust in their eyes. It was the same one most Japanese girls gave him, but it was made all the worse that these were girls he had grown up with. Something had to be done before one of them tried luring him into a fight and really messed things up.

Aki was trying to figure out why Shampoo-kun would be hiding his true identity from his fellow villagers when an arm wrapped itself around her waist.

"Have you met my girlfriend, Aki?" Shampoo-kun hoped she would pick up on the hint.

"YOU SICKO!"

*WHAM*

Shampoo-kun slowly peeled himself out of the wall. Aki was not quite as quick on the uptake as he had hoped.

"Just because I stripped you without realizing your problem is no reason to think I'm some kind of pervert!" Aki stomped away to some other part of the ship. The incident where she had discovered the handsome, and unconscious man in the river in Pangea was not something she would soon forget. She had stripped the unconscious Shampoo-kun and built a fire to warm him up. When he came to she started hitting on him unashamedly, nearly straddling him while he was recovering, at least until Shampoo-kun explained about the curses and how they worked. It took a demonstration to convince her of the truth. It didn't matter how handsome Shampoo's male body was; Aki was not interested in women, thank you very much.

The other two Amazons examined Shampoo-kun's form. "It looks like the two of you broke up." Lin Fhall smiled.

"Too bad," So Fu said without a trace of sincerity .

Shampoo-kun just sighed. His luck was running true to course.

The mess hall of the ship was rather crowded when Ukyou arrived. She noticed there were a large number of crewmen and Amazons that were enthusiastically eating. Ukyou sat down with a tray of food. Before she got a chance to try it, a seal sat down next to her. As little as a year ago that sight might have disturbed her, but not anymore. She simply turned to it and said, "Let me guess, you're a navy seal?"

The seal shook its head vigorously as one of the nearby crewmen began explaining. "Nah! Otto quit the navy a long time ago. He was in one of them experimental animal training programs. The ones where they teach animals to strap explosives on themselves and blow up stuff. Otto got himself dishonorably discharged for blowing up an admiral's yacht."

Ukyou would have sworn the animal laughed at that.

"Anyway, he's our underwater demolitions expert now. He works for beer."

That made sense. Ukyou shrugged and began to eat. The dish was a surprisingly favorable mix of seafood in some kind of sauce.

One of the other crewmen shouted into the galley. "Hey, Swede! You've outdone yourself. What is this stuff?"

Ukyou turned to one of the crewmen nearby. "You have a Swedish chef?"

"Yeah! He cooks up weird stuff that tastes good, but looks nasty. Things like kelp pasta, fish head surprise, tongue soufflé. Now this stuff looks okay and tastes great."

"Well," Ukyou said reluctantly, "It's not okonomiyaki, but it's pretty good."

"Okonomiyaki?" The crewman made a face at that. "I wouldn't feed that crap to my dog!"

*WHAM*

The crewman slumped to the floor after his close encounter of the spatula kind. From the direction of the galley a tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed gentleman made his way out to the dining area. The Swede smiled at the people enjoying his cooking. It wasn't often so many of the crew ate his food. They were they the most finicky bunch of eaters he had ever met.

"What's in this stuff?" one of the crewmen asked.

The Swede smiled. "Blue marlin, crab meat, a lemon dill sauce, and the most important ingredient that gives it its unique flavor: mermaid's flesh."

Forty crewmen simultaneously spat out their food. "What are you, crazy?!" one of the crewmen choked out.

"Hey, hey, relax. I was just kidding. I know what mermaid's flesh does to a person."

The crew began eating once again.

"Besides," the Swede continued. "How can you possibly mistake sea horse intestines for mermaid flesh?"

Forty crewmen spat out their food once more.

Ukyou decided she would be making some okonomiyaki in a little while and pushed the plate away. A moment later an octopus sat down next to her. "Let me guess, you're the engineer."

A familiar head popped out from the mouth. "No, it's me."

Ukyou recoiled. "What are you doing here, Tsubasa?"

Tsubasa held all eight tentacles to his lips. "Shh! There's an ugly Amazon that's trying to date me. But don't worry, I'll stay faithful to you. And I'm going to protect you too."

Ukyou shook her head. "Thanks but no thanks. This doesn't concern you and I really don't want you around."

Tsubasa gave Ukyou a starry-eyed gaze. "You're worried about my well-being."

"No. I don't want you around because you really annoy the hell out of me."

Several tables away, Cabinet watched Shelf eat. The girl was having difficulty since she held an arm over her still sore breasts.

"Maybe Perfume's just not interested in you," Cabinet offered.

"She's just playing hard to get," Shelf insisted, causing Cabinet to shake her head in pity. "But you know something?"

"What?"

"When Perfume twisted my breasts, even though it really hurt, it kind of turned me on."

Cabinet gave a disgusted look. "I don't want to hear this."

Shelf continued on. "I've never had anyone deal with me like that before. I've always thought I wanted to be treated like a queen, but maybe I've secretly wanted to be treated like a slut. Do you think that's what's missing from my life? Masochism?"

Cabinet held up her hands in defeat. "That's it! I'm out of here! You can discuss your twisted little fantasies with someone else." As Cabinet got up to leave, she spotted the octopus next to Ukyou. "Hey!" she grabbed Shelf's attention. "Isn't that- "

" -the ugly Japanese girl in a stupid octopus outfit." Shelf drew her cudgel and headed towards Tsubasa. The cross-dresser was so wrapped up in his conversation that he never saw Shelf approach. She raised her cudgel and was about to strike when her target was snatched out of the way.

Shelf turned to Tsubasa's savior. "Perfume! Don't interfere! I'll show you this one is unworthy of you!"

"I told you, I have no interest in you!" Perfume snapped. "Go hit on Cabinet or something."

"HEY!" Cabinet shouted indignantly.

Shelf wouldn't stop. "You're the only one for me."

"Do you want me to do to you what I did last night?"

"YES!"

Perfume felt more than a little nausea at that disclosure.

While Perfume was distracted, Tsubasa ran and hid behind Ukyou. "I already have a girlfriend."

"Isn't that a shame?" Shelf 'tsk'ed. "Looks like it's just you and me."

Perfume scowled at Ukyou. "Are you Tsubasa's girlfriend?"

A "No," and "Yes," came from Ukyou and Tsubasa respectively.

Perfume looked suspiciously at Ukyou. "Well which is it?"

"I can answer that!" Ai had just entered the mess and walked over to her chef. She proclaimed, "Ukyou's my girlfriend!" and gave Ukyou a passionate kiss.

Ukyou was too shocked to do anything, even when Ai's tongue darted past her lips.

After several tense moments Ai broke off the kiss. "There! Satisfied?" The question was directed at Ukyou as well as Perfume.

Ukyou stood there, dumbfounded and uncertain whether to be offended for Ai being so forward, or grateful for trying to get her out of the situation. She settled on just remaining motionless and staring off into space.

Tsubasa was not so indecisive. "You molested my Ukyou! I'll teach you!" Tsubasa's tentacle attacks were for nothing as Ai deflected them all.

Perfume continued gazing suspiciously at the trio. Instincts told her something was wrong about the whole situation. "I have a way to settle this once and for all. I challenge you to a duel for Tsubasa's hand." She pointed her naginta towards Ukyou.

Tsubasa gave a pleading look to Ukyou. Surely she wouldn't let him down.

"You're on!"

Ai stared in surprise at Ukyou while Tsubasa hugged her with all eight tentacles.

All of the Amazons and most of the crew in the mess followed the group outside, pausing to allow a hail storm that showed up out of nowhere to pass. Once it was over, the group went to the foredeck, where the combatants would have room to maneuver. The crowd quickly became anxious as the fighters squared off.

"Thank you, Ukyou," Tsubasa gushed. "I knew you wouldn't let me down."

"Don't thank me yet," Ukyou warned as she hefted her spatula.

"Soon we shall be together, my dear." Perfume winked at Tsubasa, who stuck his tongue out in response. He knew Ukyou would win.

Both fighters faced off. In unspoken communication both nodded their heads and the contest began. Perfume came in high with her naginta. Ukyou deflected each blow and retaliated with several high strikes of her own. Perfume easily blocked those, then switched tactics, bringing the blunt end of her weapon low and struck Ukyou in the calf. Ukyou dropped her weapon and crumpled to the ground in a heap, holding her leg as though it had been nearly cut off.

"Argh! It's my old okonomiyaki injury," Ukyou gasped. "I...I can't go on."

Ai was at her side in an instant. "You poor, poor dear. Let me take care of you." She picked Ukyou up and gently cradled her in her arms as the two exchanged a conspiratorial wink.

"It looks like you won." Ukyou surprised herself at how crestfallen she sounded. "Take good care of him."

Off to the side Cabinet sadly shook her head. "That was the worst thrown fight I have ever seen."

Perfume didn't seem to mind. "Tsubasa dear, we're together at last."

Tsubasa did seem to mind. "Ukyou, save me! You have to keep fighting!"

Ukyou stared at him. "Do you remember all the times you disguised yourself and grabbed onto me even though I asked you to stop? Do you remember all of those times you tried to attack Ryouga, even though he was my friend and I asked you to stop?"

Tsubasa nodded his head as he discarded his octopus costume.

"Payback's a bitch, isn't it?"

Tsubasa began to cry, finally making Ukyou feel sorry for him. And she had hoped to scare him for a little while longer. "Oh would you relax? She's not going to want you."

Tsubasa stopped crying. "She's not?"

"Nope. You're forgetting something." Ukyou turned to Perfume. "I hate to spoil your mood, but there's something you should know. Tsubasa is really a guy."

All of the Amazons' and crew's jaws dropped in shock. Shelf was the first to respond as she approached her leader. "You see. He's a boy, and a pervert at that. I understand you must be heartbroken, so allow me to comfort you. I'll make you forget all about him."

Perfume stared curiously at her. "Of course he's a guy. What kind of a weirdo do you think I am?"

All of the Amazons now looked in shock at their leader. "Y...y...you knew?" Shelf managed to stutter out.

"Yes. Why do you think I was coming on to him?"

"But I thought you liked women. He's only a cross-dresser."

Perfume was indignant. "I am not a weirdo that likes girls! That's just wrong. Now guys that cross-dress are what really turns me on."

Cabinet shook her head in disbelief. "I am soooo disappointed in you."

Shelf could not quite accept it either. "You mean you've known he's a male the whole time?"

"Of course. From the moment I laid eyes on him in that cute, frilly dress I knew it was love. I admired his long flaxen hair and the cute bow in it, as well as those shapely legs. He's simply perfection." Her demeanor became more serious. "Besides, do you know how difficult it is trying to find a guy willing to wear a dress?"

"No. And if I did, I'd want my head examined first," Cabinet said. "I knew you had a thing for weak males, but this is just too much!"

"Who the hell wants a strong guy? I got more than enough power for any three Amazons. Give me a guy that looks good in a dress any day." She looked for Tsubasa. "Hey! Where'd he go?"

Shelf suddenly tackled Perfume to the ground and began crying. "I don't care if you like cross-dressers. I still love you!"

Perfume tried prying the glomping girl off, but to no avail. "Get her off! Get her off!" The Amazons moved to obey.

As the struggle to remove Shelf went on, Ai and Ukyou decided to take the opportunity and depart. Once away from the chaos, the pair began to talk.

"How long do you think Tsubasa will elude her?" Ai asked.

"For his sake, hopefully a very long time. She comes across as the persistent type. At least it'll keep him out of our hair."

Ai gave a little snicker, then became more serious. "Ukyou, if you reject me, I won't be like that girl back there. I'll go away quietly."

Ukyou became tense. "Who said you'll have to go away? We can still be friends."

Ai shook her head. "I don't think so. It'll hurt too much."

"Oh." Ukyou began staring at the deck, lost in thought.

The duo said nothing for some time.

Ryouga allowed himself to be led to Kyoko's cabin by one of the crew. As he entered he saw that she was sitting on her bed, her arms wrapped up around her legs. She gave him a sad look and turned away. "You're mad at me, aren't you?" The usual energy that was in her voice was missing.

That solved the question of whether or not Kyoko had been calling Aki names. "Yes. Why did you call her that?"

"She said she wanted to sleep with you if you weren't cousins, even after she found out I was your girlfriend!"

Ryouga gave a nervous laugh at that. Somehow he didn't really find it possible to picture himself as an object of sexual desire. His reaction, however, was not viewed favorably.

"Why are you laughing?! Do you think it's funny that someone told me to my face that they want you?!"

Ryouga stopped laughing immediately. "No! No! That's not it!"

Kyoko continued on. "Do you want to fool around on me too, just like all the other guys?!"

"Of course not!"

She began crying. "You're just like Flex and all the others. IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M DUMB!"

Ryouga was startled by Kyoko's reaction. In all the months he had gotten to know her she was always in one of two moods: Happy/energetic or jealous whenever other girls showed interest in him, which seemed to happen a lot more often lately. But now she was...well she was now a lot like he was a great deal of the time, depressed. That he didn't like at all. It just seemed wrong. "You're not dumb."

"Yes I am!" she sobbed. "I hear all of the snide little comments people say about me when they think I can't hear, or even when they know I can. They say I'm an airhead or I don't have brains and things like that."

"They're all wrong," Ryouga soothed.

"NO THEY AREN'T! THEY'RE RIGHT!"

Ryouga nearly backed up from the force of the shout. Now Kyoko was bawling her eyes out. Part of him wanted to run instead of being forced to confront a girl he made cry, but somehow he managed to stay in place. He did remain silent, fearful of saying the wrong thing again.

Eventually she regained enough control to speak through her sobs. "I have to work really hard just to get barely passing grades. I don't always understand things that everyone else does. I miss obvious things around me, and it's easy for people to trick me and make me do things. And all of the guys were like Flex, well, none of them were as bad as Flex, but they all did the same thing. They'd go out with me and then go out with other girls behind my back. And if I tried to confront them with it they'd trick me and make me think they weren't going out with them, but then I'd find out from other people they really were cheating on me and eventually I'd find proof. It was like a big joke.

"I know I'm eager to believe in people, but it's just so easy for them to lie to me and I can't see through them. Ranma did that in our cheerleader fight when he said I was prettier than Kaede. I know I'm not, but I believed him. Everyone does things like that. And then you came along, and you weren't like that at all. You were kind of shy and never tried to trick or lie to me. You were sweet and kind and you always tried to make sure I was happy. I tried to do that for you too. I really don't know what you want, but I tried to do things I thought you would like, and you seemed to like them. But girls kept coming on to you and I thought I'd lose you to them or you'd try to trick me and go out with them behind my back, like everyone else. So I tried chasing them off so they wouldn't take you away. I'm sorry I get jealous so easily, but I'm afraid of losing you."

Ryouga didn't have the faintest idea of what to say, and whatever he would come up with would probably be wrong. And there was something about her that he had never realized before. In the past he had treated her like, well, like an object. She was the thing he went out with, not a person, not exactly. In all the time he had known her he had never even tried to understand her. Now he was getting a glimpse, and it struck a chord inside of him. She really did care for him, probably loved him, and trusted him fully enough to put her heart on the line. He had not really sacrificed anything for her. He had just gone through the motions of what he thought he should do with a girlfriend and pined away after Ukyou, ignoring what he had. And he did have her, even if he had not really tried. He had a feeling that if he had tried, he probably would have pushed her away by accident, knowing how his luck usually went with women.

Insight crystallized as he at last understood what decision had been really made when he chose to go out with Kyoko instead of Ukyou. He had not made a choice at all. He just pretended to and kept on going exactly like before, and would have continued to do so, or at least he would have if everyone around him had not been changing. Ukyou grew distant from him while Kyoko tried to become closer. No matter how hard he attempted to keep the two balanced it couldn't be done, but that would not stop him from trying. However, the harder he pushed the more likely he was going to break it, and end up hurting everyone instead of no one. No matter what he tried to do it would just become worse.

He had slowly become more miserable as Ukyou seemed to become farther away from him, and eventually would have done something terrible to try to win her over. Once more he was going to allow himself to fall into the cycle of depression which he would not get out of, and now it was for no other reason than because it was familiar to him. However, that could all change. At last there was a chance to really get some things settled in his life instead of having it all wander away, like he had all of his life. But he was going to have to make a choice as to what course to take. That scared him. What if he chose wrong? He'd lose everything then, and be alone the rest of his life, regretting that he made the wrong choice. So which way would he go? Which girl would he choose?

Looking into his heart he was surprised to discover they were actually in even standing. At first he cared about Ukyou more, but Kyoko had unquestionably grown on him with her unfettered caring. So which one would last? There was Kyoko, that it would probably work out with, and then there was Ukyou, who it could work out with, but it wasn't so certain. Still, they had spent a great deal of time together and he thought it might work out. It could.

Both girls needed him, though until today he had not realized Kyoko apparently did. If he had not been made aware of it he would have chosen Ukyou, and would have ended up making a mistake in misunderstanding Kyoko. But Ukyou needed him to keep from falling in Ai's clutches. He needed to save her. It was obvious she was miserable.

Or was she? Now that he really thought about it, she seemed to become more and more relaxed around Ai. And even when the cheerleader wasn't around, Ukyou seemed a bit happier than she used to be. NO! That couldn't be true. Ukyou did not like girls and could never be satisfied with Ai. He had to save her. But hadn't he offered to before? He asked her to the wedding, but she refused. If she did not like Ai wouldn't Ukyou avoid her? She could, but it didn't seem like she wanted to. Could Ukyou really have been happy with Ai?

A sniffle interrupted his thoughts. Kyoko was still crying. She definitely needed his help, now. And there was something that Ukyou told him which solidified his thoughts. It seemed like it was from a million years ago, but he remembered it well.

{Ryouga. I want you to go wherever your heart leads you. That's what I want you to do.}

"I hope you meant that," he whispered under his breath.

Kyoko felt an arm embrace her. She turned to see Ryouga had his arm around her in an unusual gesture of affection, at least for him. She gazed through her tear-filled eyes at him.

"You're not dumb. I've been with you long enough to know that, and I'd like to think my opinions matter."

"Of course they do," she sniffled.

"Thanks. I know I haven't been a good..." He took a moment to bolster his courage and forced himself to say the unfamiliar word. "...boyfriend. You always seemed so happy, I never thought you might be hurt by anything I've done, but I'm going to be more responsible from now on. If I'm talking to girls it's just because they're my friends. I promise not to trick you or lie to you about going out with them and I promise to pay more attention to your needs. And if anyone tries to say you're dumb they'll answer to me." He cracked his knuckles for emphasis.

She threw her arms around him. "Thank you. No one has ever been this nice to me before." At last she stopped sniffling. "Ryouga-kun?"

"Yes."

"We've been going out for months now. Maybe we could...kiss. I don't want to rush you or anything. I know you like taking things slow, but I thought it would be nice."

Ryouga laughed nervously. He supposed he should get used to that sort of thing. After all, he finally had made a choice.

So they kissed.

And kissed.

And kissed some more.

And ended up doing it until the pleasure became too much for Ryouga and he passed out about ten seconds in. He was getting better around women.

Ranma paced back and forth through the ship's corridors. He had tried walking along the railing around the ship once, and nearly ended up in the ocean when the section he was standing on broke off. The worst part about wasn't almost falling into the water, it was the giant tentacles that reached up and tried to grab him. Once he pulled himself back on the ship they disappeared back into the water. He had no desire to know what they were attached to. There were more important things to worry about.

So he settled for pacing about the deck, like a normal person. He had been doing that for several hours when his meandering was interrupted.

"Hey there, Fem-boy."

Ranma immediately brought his fists up. "You want some more, Pantyhose?"

Tarou resisted the urge to beat the crap out of Ranma. "I'll pass on proving how lucky you were yesterday by beating you senseless. There are more important things at hand."

"Like what?" Ranma asked suspiciously. Whatever Tarou was up to, it was bad news.

"Protecting Akane."

"What?!"

"You heard me." Tarou smirked. "Since you don't give a damn about her, I'll do it for you."

"I can look after her just fine. I don't need or want your help, and neither does she!"

Tarou held his hand to his temple. How could one human being possibly be so irritating? "You're going to go to China to try to keep your boyfriend from being killed by the hundreds of his people that are going to be there when you couldn't even take twenty of them. Now that sounds like a wonderful plan, and I think it has a really good chance of success." Tarou tried to keep from snickering, and failed. "But I suppose there's an offhand chance you'll get everyone killed. Now personally, I hope you bite it in some pathetic gesture of idiotic heroism. And I don't give a damn about your friends, they can drop dead too. But Akane is a different story. I won't let her die in some vain attempt to keep you from getting killed, which is exactly what's going to happen to you once you get there and those Amazons try executing Shampoo. You're predictable, and that's going to be your undoing."

"I won't let Shampoo get killed!"

"Save your breath, I don't give a damn about who you'll let get killed or not. What I'm trying to do is save Akane, and I know just how to do it."

Ranma wanted to feign disinterest, but couldn't. As despised as Tarou was, he did have a devious intelligence. "What do you have in mind?"

"You admit to Akane you love Shampoo and leave her to me. I'll get her out of here and to safety." Tarou barely evaded the swing at his skull.

"I'd never leave Akane in your slimy hands!"

Tarou tried mustering all of the self-control he had. A fight would be unwise at the moment. "Are you planning on marrying both of them?"

"NO!"

"Then you have to make a choice, hermaphrodite," Tarou hissed. "Who do you abandon? Akane who you don't even get along with, or Shampoo, who needs you now more than ever? Akane, who has someone to turn to, or Shampoo, who'll be left all alone without anyone to care about her?"

"Shut up!"

Ranma threw a punch that was caught by Tarou. Rather than counterattack, Tarou backed off. "Don't blame me for the mess you got yourself in, or for telling the truth. Just because you aren't woman enough to make a decision is no reason to take it out on me."

"It's not my fault!"

"No, it never is, is it? It's always someone else's because you are oh, so perfect. Forgive me for not acknowledging your greatness before." Tarou gave a bow towards Ranma.

"Knock it off! I don't got time for this, Pantyhose."

Tarou felt his face twitch, then let it pass. "I'll make a deal with you."

"What sort of deal?"

"I'll help you save Shampoo. Right now I won't lift a finger to help her, but with me on your side the odds go up in your favor."

Ranma scowled at Tarou. "Let me guess. All I have to do is choose Shampoo."

"You got it. Isn't the life of the woman you love worth that? I mean, it's not like you have a plan to get her out of this, is it? This is her only chance, and everyone comes out a winner."

"Except Akane," Ranma retorted. "Listen to me closely. Even if I choose Shampoo, I will never let you go near Akane. I won't allow her to end up shackled to a monster like you."

"You call me a monster?" Tarou's temper was at last reaching the breaking point. "Say what you will, but I don't try to pull the heartstrings of women like you, Fem-boy. There's only one I want, and I'll have her one way or another, because unlike you, I won't let her be hurt, even if it means taking matters into my own hands." Tarou turned to leave before he lost his temper and tried crushing the life out of Ranma, which was becoming more difficult by the minute.

"Stop!"

Tarou slowly turned. Ranma's voice sounded different. There was an intensity there he had never heard before. Some subtle hint of warning that made Tarou pay extra attention. "What?" Now that Tarou looked at him, there was something in Ranma's eyes that made him feel even greater caution.

"If you think of getting around all of this by revealing Shampoo's curse to the others, like you did with my mother, you won't leave this ship alive."

Tarou's eyes narrowed. "Was that a threat?"

"No. A fact."

Tarou had to congratulate Ranma. He was capable of a greater degree of intimidation than Tarou had believed. It would have even worked against someone that was less experienced at it than him. He made certain to maintain eye contact with Ranma for a few more seconds and smirked, showing he wasn't the least bit concerned about the threat, then left.

Ranma watched carefully as Tarou walked off. Now there were more complications he didn't need. And what was worse was that he wasn't sure if his threat was sincere or not. The anger he felt over finally figuring out who threw the hot water, which almost got Shampoo killed, made him want to attack Tarou on the spot. But he held himself in check. Beating the crap out of Tarou again would be therapeutic, but it wouldn't actually solve anything, and there was no telling when he was going to need his strength. Anything could happen now.

Shampoo-kun burst from around a corner and grabbed Ranma, dragging him down the hall.

"What's going on?!" Ranma shouted.

"We need to hide. My sisters saw me in my male form and are trying to come on to me. I'm going to hide out where they'll never think to look for a handsome young man."

"Where?"

"Great grandmother's room."

Ranma couldn't argue with that. Besides, there were more than a few things he wanted to go over with the old ghoul.

The two made their way to Cologne's cabin without further incident; something of an accomplishment considering how much chaos seemed to regularly envelop the ship. Once safely inside the three sat down and began to talk.

"Have you two come up with an idea yet?" Cologne took charge of the conversation. Uncharacteristically, Ranma deferred to her.

"No. Nothing." Ranma said, depressed. He was sure the shifty old Amazon would have come up with something by now.

Cologne sighed. She was no closer to a solution than at the start of the voyage. What she needed to do was take a step back from the problem for a little while, then attack it with a renewed vigor later. There were other things that could be done to fill in that time. "There is something I wish to talk to both of you about. Shampoo has been asking me some questions about Jusenkyou curses. I would assume you are curious as well."

That caught Ranma's attention. Maybe there was some way to cure curses or keep from changing. "Yeah, go on."

"I can tell by the look in your eye you hope I know of a cure. Well, the only one I'm aware of that works is Jusenkyou water with the sex you want, and I don't have any with me. All I have is some of the instant varieties, and they won't prove useful for what we have to do."

"Damn!" He should have known it wouldn't be that easy. "I'm going to have to try to get to Jusenkyou, grab some girl water, and get it to Shampoo before you guys get back to the village. Do you think you can stall long enough for me to do that?"

"I could, and your plan might be worth a try, but I doubt it will work."

"Why? What's wrong with it?"

"It's a question of whether or not you can get the water."

"Of course I can!" He wondered how the old ghoul could think that someone as competent as him could mess up something as simple as that.

"Can you?" She loomed up next to Ranma and looked him squarely in the eye, perched atop her staff. "Haven't you ever wondered why you didn't simply jump in the Spring of Drowned Young Man when you first got cursed? The guide was there. He explained how the curses worked. Why didn't you and Shampoo simply cure yourselves?"

Ranma tried to explain what had happened, and why he didn't seek the cure, but found he could not.

"I can't explain it either," Shampoo-kun said. "I already knew how the curse worked and how to cure oneself, but I didn't think about it either."

"That's the way it is in almost all cases," Cologne said as she backed away from Ranma, hopped off her staff and began pacing the cabin. "I know of only a handful of people that were able to cure themselves right after becoming cursed. No one knows exactly why that is. Perhaps it is related to the curse itself, though exactly how it determines how long a curse remains with a person is unknown. I am now personally convinced that a curse won't be cured until the recipient fulfills something. Maybe some kind of destiny."

"What kind of destiny, great grandmother?"

"I don't know!" Cologne snapped, then felt ashamed at her behavior, though she refused to show it. Her inability to divine what destiny Shampoo, or even Ranma, had was not their fault. "I'm sorry, child. I could not begin to tell you what it might be. Suffice to say, I'm operating under the assumption your destiny is not to be killed before our people." She turned to Ranma. "I have no idea what yours is either. I would tell the two of you that there have been people that lived with their curses their entire lives never gaining a cure."

"Never a cure?" Ranma repeated softly. He had never considered being cursed for the rest of his life. Always he was certain a cure awaited him at some point; it just might take a while.

"There's something else I need to mention," Cologne paused in her pacing. "Tell me, boy, have you been feeling different?"

"Different?"

"Yes. In your cursed form. Have you felt any changes, especially emotional ones?"

For a brief moment Ranma remembered being on the rooftop with Shampoo-kun, and more importantly, what he had felt at the time. "No!"

"Ranma," Shampoo-kun said softly. He placed his hand on Ranma's shoulder, trying to comfort him.

The instant Shampoo-kun made contact, Ranma shot out from out of the grasp. "I said no! And don't touch me!"

Shampoo-kun drew back, giving Ranma a pained look.

"Relax, boy. It's perfectly natural. It just means you've started to accept the curse."

Ranma glared at Cologne. "I'm not accepting the curse! I want a cure! I'll never accept it!"

Cologne sighed at the temperament of youth. She wrapped Ranma lightly in the head with her staff. "Would you listen to what I said? Accepting your curse doesn't mean you don't want a cure. It just means that you'll pick up a small handful of your curse's characteristics. As near as I can tell that's perfectly normal. You won't start going around lusting after men or anything. Just look at Sparrow. She doesn't go around eating birdseed or chirping, if she wasn't a mute, anyway. But she does have some unusual behaviors that are from her curse. She jerks her head around a lot, similar to a bird. And she absolutely despises cats, something you could appreciate. Now as to you, you just might behave in a slightly more feminine manner. I've noticed some changes in Shampoo over the last few months."

"I have not changed!" Shampoo-kun responded.

Cologne rapped him on the head with her staff. "Don't correct your elder. You have changed, even if you don't realize it. At least I hope you have. I don't recall you ever behaving that affectionately towards any of the women back home."

Shampoo-kun looked nervously between the uncomprehending Ranma and his great grandmother. "I have no idea of what you are talking about."

"Kasumi Tendo," Cologne stated bluntly. She was pleased to see Shampoo-kun appear nervous at that. He was a couple hundred years too young to ever hope of putting something over on her.

"What are you guys talking about and what does it have to do with Kasumi?" Ranma hated it when they spoke in Chinese. He couldn't understand a word they said. One day he was going to have to remedy that problem and try to learn the language.

"I was just saying what a great influence the oldest Tendo daughter has had with Shampoo. She's helped my great granddaughter change a great deal. Just how great remains to be seen."

"We're just friends. Ranma is the only one I want."

Cologne stared at Shampoo-kun suspiciously. "If you say so." It was best to let the matter drop. There were more important things to worry about than possible romantic complications.

"Would you two start talking in a language I can understand?" Ranma growled.

"Very well. As I was telling you, accepting a curse is not a bad thing. In fact, should you try to fight it, you would end up doing nothing other than making your life miserable. More than one person has gone mad trying to fight any effect the curse may have on them."

"I haven't accepted nothing."

Cologne raised her eyebrows at that. The boy really was stubborn and disrespectful. "Do you mean to tell me you haven't changed at all? Do you still hate your girl's body as much as when you were first cursed? Do you try to change back into a man as soon as the change happens, or can you get around without the alien feeling that the body isn't yours?"

Ranma hated to admit it, but he had changed a little from those first early days.

"I'd say it's probably gotten a lot worse lately," Cologne continued. "That could be because of that blow you took to the head that made you think you were a girl. Even after your real personality came back there was probably some lingering effects. That, combined with having to be a girl for a couple weeks, would have further helped you get used to the curse. Right now I would say that you've probably changed all that you will. I'd guess Shampoo's finished too. That's all speculation, but it's a safe bet. You'd be having a lot more problems if you hadn't accepted them."

"You're wrong. I ain't accepted anything. I'm not a girl and I don't act like one and I never will. I'm a guy no matter what I look like and I ain't attracted to other guys. And I'm still going to get a cure," Ranma stated bluntly as he crossed his arms.

Cologne was more than a little irritated by the boy's stubbornness. Worse, in his agitated state he was more of a hindrance than a help. There had to be a way to calm him down.

She looked over the duo. Of course, there was an easy way to settle Ranma down and have him think of Cologne in a better light. "You two still appear to be in bad shape. There's no telling when you'll need your full strength. Let me show you a technique on using your chi for healing."

Ranma gained a hungry look in his eyes. "Technique?"

"Yes," Cologne said. "Both of you come over here and sit side by side and next to me." She was pleased to see Ranma now had no reservations about getting close to her granddaughter's male body. That was one hurdle overcome. They really made a good match. Once the whole situation with Shampoo's curse was over, Cologne would have to see what she could do to match the two up.

But that was for later. After she was satisfied the two had learned the technique well enough to use it on their own (and Ranma's rate of learning was nothing short of unbelievable) they switched to back to trying to figure out a way to save Shampoo from death.

They continued talking for several hours and came up with nothing. Shampoo-kun and Ranma eventually departed, leaving Cologne alone to think things through. Her solitude was interrupted by a knock on the door. The matriarch told the visitor to enter, and was mildly surprised upon discovering her identity.

"You're Ai Konjou, yes?" Cologne asked.

"Yes honored madam. I have come to inquire about something I have only recently learned about..."

Mousse stared at Kodachi as she stood at the bow of the ship, poised next to the rail and gazing out to sea. She was as far to the front of the ship as she could go. Her trademark ponytail was missing as she had allowed her hair to hang loose; the wind fanned it back in a rippling wave of midnight darkness. Mousse noted it was unusual of her to let it hang so, though the effect was pleasing to the eye.

Slowly he approached her. "Kodachi."

She declined to turn around to answer him. "I have nothing more to say to you. If you are going to be stubborn and refuse to listen to reason, I shall not waste my breath. Do as you please." She should have left him paralyzed in their room to keep him out of trouble, but somehow it was like all those other times when she had not immobilized him, even when he acted recklessly. It felt wrong to keep him motionless in such a manner.

"Kodi-chan," he cooed. That would get her to stop being angry with him. Now that Shampoo was all but gone, Kodachi was the only one that would be on his side. Without her there would be no one.

She resisted the urge to throw herself in his arms. He was so transparent. "Go to that harridan if you wish. I won't stop you."

"I just don't want to see her hurt. I can't let that happen."

She at last turned to look at him. "And if something happens to you, where does that leave me? I cannot go on without you. There would be nothing left."

"Don't talk like that."

Was that concern she heard in his voice? Had she at last struck a chord and made him see what would happen if he should throw his life away? Perhaps taking it a step farther would show how much he really cared.

"Since you are so determined to throw your life away, I shall throw away my own as well. Right now." She placed one slender leg over the guardrail, leaving nothing but a small ledge several inches wide between her and falling into the ocean.

"STOP!" Mousse grabbed onto her arm as she struggled in his grasp to continue going over the side.

She was delighted at his efforts. At last he was behaving as though she was his world. She continued to protest while pretending to struggle in his grasp, enjoying his attention.

About twenty feet away, D'Amour and first mate Kawada were doing an inventory of the ship, going over what needed to be repaired. In truth, it was Kawada that was doing all the work while the captain continued to ponder what he was doing wrong with the women.

"What do you think I should do?" D'Amour asked.

Kawada told him.

"That's not anatomically possible," D'Amour informed his companion, furrowing his brow in concentration. There had to be something he could do to get the women in bed, preferably at least half of them.

He was still speculating on what to do when he spotted Kodachi and Mousse struggling at the bow. "What are those two doing?"

Kawada looked over the duo. Mousse had both of Kodachi's arms and was trying to pull her back on board the ship. At the moment she was winning their duel, in that she was now fully over the railing with only Mousse keeping her from falling. "It looks like they are playing out that scene from 'Titanic', sir."

"Oh," the captain said nonchalantly, then walked over to where the couple was struggling.

Mousse had almost won the struggle and nearly had Kodachi back over the railing when D'Amour moved up behind them and observed them for a moment. He gave a soft smile at the duo, then shoved Mousse over the rail, causing both of the participants to end up in the ocean.

"I HATED THAT MOVIE!" D'Amour shouted down into the water.

Minami threw up over the railing again, barely missing Kodachi and Mousse-panda as they wrapped a ribbon and chain around one of the guardrails and climbed back onto the ship, a good distance away from the bow. Minami wondered what the hell was wrong with her? It couldn't be motion sickness; she'd been in lots of roller coasters, ocean rides, and rode the back of a rampaging Fragenyyd for three hours and never encountered a problem. It wasn't a virus; she magically tested for that. It wasn't food poisoning; her spells would have cured it. She had no explanation for what was wrong, unless it was magically induced.

That was why she was walking over the ship, in spite of her state. A careful examination of the deck revealed something interesting. She had walked ten more feet when she noticed it again. The deck plates were different, and it wasn't due to repair. They were all different. It was the fourth instance of that phenomenon. If what she suspected was true, the ship itself was an aggregation of several ships. But the magic flows were uninterrupted on it, meaning the ship was still capable of absorbing parts of other ships, or, in an ideal situation, an entire ship.

That didn't quite seem right either. Most of TWPOS was just various parts of other ships, making it more likely that it was scavenging pieces on its own to replace what was missing. That might explain the ramshackle appearance of the vessel. Either that or it was a mask to hide its true power. In either case it was something that would need a closer examination.

That was for later. At the moment she had to run to over to the railing and vomit once more. If that kept up she was going to be lucky if she wasn't bedridden by the time they arrived in China. It was as she finished hurling up her guts that she sensed something to the north. Looking out over the horizon she saw nothing more than low fog bank gliding across the ocean. That alone would not have been so bad, save for the fact Minami sensed a magical force emanating from the fog that rivaled that of TWPOS. And what was worse, there was a subtle change in the aura of the vessel she was on, almost as though it was a buildup of energy. All of that came down to the last thing they needed: trouble.

D'Amour had returned to the bridge and looked through his spyglass at the fog bank off to port. "I'd recognize that cloud anywhere. Helm, make a left," he said with a slowly blossoming smile on his face.

Kawada began to panic. "It might just be a normal fog."

"Moving against the wind?"

"The weather has been behaving oddly."

D'Amour shook his head and repeated the order. Kawada's second protest was cut off as the captain drew his sword.

"Do it now. And hook up the speakers while you're at it. I have something to say."

Kawada nodded to the helmsman as they turned to the fog bank. This encounter was the last thing they needed: trouble.

Second Officer Lotus released her hold on her spyglass and stared at the approaching vessel. It was TWPOS, and that meant the last thing they needed: trouble.

The mistress always went ballistic when she and D'Amour crossed paths. Maybe there was time to change the direction of the ship before the captain came up to the bridge.

Lotus was just starting the turn when her partner, the blue-haired Blossom, and first mate of the POJ, arrived. "What's going on?"

Lotus simply pointed to the approaching vessel.

Blossom recognized it immediately. "The Worthless Piece of Shit! That's where that cute Captain D'Amour is."

Lotus could have slapped her partner. "In the name of the gods, don't let the mistress hear you say that!"

"Say what?"

Lotus turned in fear. The captain had arrived. "I was just going to send Blossom to get you. It seems we have- "

"D'AMOUR!"

" - a ship off the bow." Lotus was afraid of this happening. The long standing grudge between Madame Lao and the captain of the scow that was before them was well known. D'Amour had recently upped the ante by saying some rather rude comments at several ports about the nature of Lao, and rumor had it, what he would like to do to her if he ever got his hands on her. Not that others had not said the same thing. Lao herself was a tall woman with pale sea green hair, very lanky and well built with a frame that stood just under six feet and was well proportioned. She gave one the impression of an uncaged predator sizing up its prey as she studied the face of her subordinate, then slowly turned to regard the mass of the other ship with loathing.

"D'Amour," she growled like a snarling tigress, a resemblance that was more than superficial.

The pink-haired Lotus swallowed thickly as she saw the pleasant features of her mistress change as her eyes shifted from their normal pink color to the tawny gold that was diamond slitted. Her mistress was in one of those moods, and not willing to suffer another harangue from the captain of the hated rival vessel. Already they could hear D'Amour testing out the volume on his ship's speakers to see if they were projecting his voice sufficiently. Lao did not need similar equipment to respond in kind, but at the moment the last thing she was capable of was coherent banter.

It wasn't as though Lao had not retaliated verbally in the past, promising all sorts of unpleasantness for D'Amour should she catch him. The whole situation involving him really was odd. Lao wasn't the sort of woman to lose her temper, even under the most adverse of conditions. But then there was D'Amour. Around him she was like an out of control typhoon, and Lotus couldn't fathom why. There were certainly those that had outmaneuvered Lao in the past, but she would just bide her time and strike when an opportunity presented itself. There were those that had said off color remarks about her -one didn't become an infamous pirate slaver without receiving criticisms- but she never lost control. Except when it came to D'Amour. Several times she almost set out with the intention of sinking his ship, but part of that problem was that she couldn't use the Lens of Magellan to find TWPOS. To her knowledge it was the only vessel capable of evading detection, and no one understood why that was either.

And now Lao was confronted with her longtime enemy on the open seas, where the ship's full power could be brought to bear. For some odd reason that made Lotus nervous. She had heard vague rumors about TWPOS. As many people there were that hated it and its captain, somehow it always escaped its enemies, or destroyed them. It was an enigma, which Lotus despised.

"Bring us closer to the wreck," Lao ordered as she dissipated the magical fog around her ship. She wanted D'Amour to see her. "I want one of the deck guns aimed at the captain himself. When it's within range, I want a warning shot fired at D'Amour's head."

"Don't you mean over his head?" Blossom asked.

"No. He's a moron, and won't understand the nature of the warning unless it actually hits him."

Lotus felt her dread build at that. She didn't give a damn about D'Amour, he deserved to be enslaved for the things he said about Lotus's mistress, but there was another on board that craft that she was concerned for. And if Lao ever found out about the relationship there was no telling what she might do. The captain's hatred of D'Amour extended to the whole vessel and its crew. Even Blossom's comment about D'Amour would get her flogged, or not, depending on Lao's mood. And given Blossom's...tastes, that refusal of punishment might be the worse of the two options.

Blossom perked her ears up. "I think I hear someone saying something from the ship's speakers, Mistress."

D'Amour was standing on the ledge outside of the bridge, making certain Lao could see him, as he began shouting. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Slut of the Seven Seas and her wreck, the Piece of Junk! What an aptly named vessel!"

"So says the captain of a ship called The Worthless Piece of Shit," Kawada muttered as he gazed at the innocent looking, if large, Chinese style junk before them. He knew from personal experience that there was far more to that craft than met the eye. Far more.

"If I had something as nasty looking as that, I would hide it in a fog too!" D'Amour shouted.

"Many people say that about our ship too, sir. Mostly the crew."

D'Amour turned on Kawada. "You're not helping things here."

"Can we go now, sir? Or do you want us to end up on the bottom of the ocean when you anger her enough to attack us?"

"She'll never sink my ship!" D'Amour raged. "My ship is the most powerful in the world, and so is her captain! I'll show that dyke bitch yet!" He turned back to the junk, and began yelling some more off-color comments about it, its activities, and its captain.

On the bridge of the POJ, a smile broadened on Lao's face. "Bring us closer. I want to be near enough that he'll be able to hear me. I have an idea that'll hurt him much worse than blowing his head off. I'm going down to the main deck where he'll be sure to see me."

As Lao left the bridge an ominous foreboding washed over Lotus. Nothing good was going to come of all this.

At his position on the bridge, D'Amour saw Lao arrive on her main deck, decked out in white breeches and matching white shirt with a leather brown vest. As the sea green-haired beauty came into sight, a chorus of wolf whistles came from the men on TWPOS.

"Knock it off!" He drew his sword, quieting the men, then returned his attention to Lao. "Greetings, bitch! I see you're starting to sag! That really is too bad! You've lost what little skanky appeal you might have once possessed!"

Lao kept her face from twitching. She would not lose control around HIM! "I see the barnacles are still all that keeps that ship of yours together. And from the sound of your voice, I'd say you haven't been laid in a while."

D'Amour lacked the control Lao did. "I don't have to capture people and turn them into slaves to get my sexual partners!"

"Neither do I, it's just more fun that way. Why don't I tell you about the women I had last night? The best one was this flexible redhead..."

Most of the male members of the crew began to drool at the rather...descriptive things Lao talked about, and began discussing among themselves about how they wouldn't mind being captured by Lao if that was the way her slaves were treated. Only Kawada remained cool, observing the blood vessels on D'Amour's forehead that were about to rupture. If only they could be so lucky. Lao had definitely won that round, which meant it was time to go before the captain did something foolish, like ram Lao's junk.

Brunt and Aki quietly came onto the bridge and took over the wheel at the helm while D'Amour continued with his comments about Lao, her ancestors, and which farm animals came into the family line. Kawada was delighted the duo had arrived. He was concerned that the orders he had secretly given, while the captain was distracted by Lao, for the duo to get up to the bridge would be too late. A nod of the head from Kawada and the duo turned the ship one hundred and eighty degrees.

"OH MY GOD! WE'RE OUT OF CONTROL!" Brunt shouted as he pretended to struggle with the wheel.

D'Amour realized his ship was turning away from Lao's and rushed back inside to the bridge. "What's going on?!"

"The helm's not responding. Even Aki and Brunt can't get the wheel to turn," Kawada explained.

"Allow me to help." D'Amour tried to shove the wheel back to its proper course, but was no match for Brunt and Aki's tremendous strength. The struggle only served to convince him they really were out of control. "Damn! The same thing happened the last time we confronted her. I know the ship doesn't like her, but why would it run away?"

Sweatdrops formed behind all of the bridge crew's heads. Every now and then the captain had a hallucination about the ship saying things to him. Fortunately he never had those problems more than four times a year.

D'Amour went back outside to get in one last shot at Lao. "You may have gotten lucky this time, you pirate whore, but next time I'll have the last laugh! And I wasn't joking about your boobs! They really are starting to sag!"

"The next time we meet," Lao threatened as she gnashed her teeth. "I will have you in chains, groveling before me, while I make love to beautiful women until you beg me to beat you like the dog that you are for some kind of sexual release!"

"I'll never marry you!"

"THAT WASN'T A PROPOSAL, YOU IDIOT!"

"Oh. It sounded like one." He answered seriously, then carefully considered his next response. "The next time we meet, I swear I'll make you shout out who your daddy really is!" The pelvic thrusts he added did nothing to calm Lao's temper.

Lao was about to order a pursuit when her ship changed its heading and went away from TWPOS. She turned in fury and stormed directly to the bridge. Upon arriving she tore Lotus from the wheel and held her up in the air by the throat. "Why did you turn away from them?!"

Fortunately for Lotus, Blossom interrupted. "Mistress. The ship we were supposed to rendezvous with is approaching."

Lao released her hold on Lotus. Every instinct cried out to pursue D'Amour, send his ship to the bottom of the ocean, and grind the man under her boot heel. It was with great difficulty she suppressed the urges. There was a contract to uphold.

As the ships drifted farther away from one another Lao felt her anger abate slightly and began to wonder if the POJ was affecting her emotions. Given the connection between her and the ship it was far from impossible, but why would it try to influence her like that? No, it was just as likely her ship was reflecting her own hatred of D'Amour and magnifying it. That was the more likely explanation. The idea that one ship could hate another was absurd.

Somewhere in TWPOS, a pale man who had not seen the sun for over a year, continued working on a set of engines. At last he had almost figured out a way to make them work in atmosphere without destroying a large section of the surrounding area. He had even discovered an odd serial number on the side, although what series the letters and number meant was probably long forgotten. No. There might not have been a man alive that would know what an SDF-3 was.

Night fell as things began to settle down on TWPOS. Word had passed down about the close call they had had with Madame Lao, and some of the crew decided to mutiny later in the evening; not that it would ever work. The captain had just celebrated the two hundredth failed attempt on his life, but it was a good way for the crew to blow off some steam.

In another part of the ship, Ranma prepared to have dinner with his parents and the Tendos. It was his mother that convinced him that they should have a nice, quiet dinner together as a family. Ranma had to admit, it was a good idea. There was no telling when they would actually arrive at China, and once that happened the chances at having a peaceful meal with his family were going to be nonexistent. It would be a moment to be treasured, especially if it was the last one.

He shook his head clear of such thoughts. He would keep Shampoo from harm and everything would turn out all right. It had to. He was Ranma Saotome. He did not lose. He would not lose. He would come out on top no matter what it took. He always did, and with the stakes as high as they were, he would not allow himself the luxury of even considering failure.

As he went to meet his parents, his thoughts turned to Shampoo. She had not taken well to the idea of him wanting to dine with his parents without her, but her presence would just serve to disrupt everything, and he wanted a quiet meal with his family, at least just this once. He offered to eat lunch with her tomorrow, which convinced her to back off. She still threw in a comment about turning herself into a guy and dining with her Amazon sisters, mentioning that she would at least be able to dine with someone that wanted her around. Shampoo sure wasn't making things easier. The only thing that went well was that healing technique Cologne had taught him. Physically he was at one hundred percent.

Meeting with his parents, Akane, and Soun went without a problem. Soun mentioned to Ranma that Kasumi was feeling better, but chose to eat with Shampoo, which eased Ranma's conscience a bit.

As everyone headed towards the mess, Ranma and Akane dropped back a bit to converse. Only small talk was exchanged, neither really knew what to say with the tension as thick as it was.

"We are sitting at the captain's table tonight," Nodoka mentioned as she looked back to the pair.. "Isn't that nice?"

It was about as delightful as listening to the principal talk about coconuts for several hours. Ranma had had more than enough of the narcissistic lech to last him a lifetime. Ranma also would not have put it past D'Amour to hit on his mother while she was there.

The quintet entered the mess and made their way to the captain's table. D'Amour stood up and met them halfway.

"Tanma." D'Amour nodded to Ranma.

"That's Ranma, you idiot!"

"Whatever," D'Amour smiled broadly as he turned to Akane. "And you must be Akane Tendo."

"Uh, yeah. So what?" Akane found she wanted to hit the man with the way he was staring at her.

D'Amour gave a lascivious grin to her, then turned back to Ranma. "Mr. Sap-to-me."

"That's Saotome! Can't you get anything right?"

D'Amour waved off the protest and turned once more to Akane. "Miss Tendo. By the power invested in me as lord of this vessel, I now pronounce you man and wife. Now I get to kiss the bride."

The statement shocked Ranma and Akane so much that D'Amour actually got as far as sweeping Akane into his embrace before her fist connected with his face, which was followed by Ranma's elbow striking him in the back of the head.

"Just what do you think you are doing?!" Akane snarled as she got out of D'Amour's grasp.

"You two are married!" Soun shouted.

"It's about time, boy!" Genma clapped Ranma on the back.

Nodoka cleared her throat. "Genma, I thought we agreed that Ranma and Akane's wedding was to be postponed."

"Did we?"

"Yes, we did."

D'Amour shook his head free of the pain. "They aren't married until I kiss the bride! I'm the captain of this vessel, damn it! I make the rules!"

"No way!" Akane shouted.

"Can't you forego that just this once?" Soun pleaded.

"If I don't kiss the bride then they aren't married."

"If there ain't no groom there's no wedding either." Ranma stormed out of the mess.

Akane's first impulse was to follow him, but she resisted the urge and remained where she was. Ranma was already angry, and either one of them could say the wrong thing and start a fight. No, it was better to let him go for now. She would talk to him after he had calmed down.

As she stood there, looking miserably in the direction Ranma had just left, a hand made its way to her shoulder.

"We can still kiss, babe. We can even pretend we're married if you want."

Akane replied with an elbow to D'Amour's solar plexus. Now thoroughly disgusted and her appetite destroyed, she left for her cabin.

D'Amour was still catching his breath when a bokken was thrust under his nose.

"How dare a sea-going serpent such as yourself dare to attempt to touch the lips of Akane Tendo. I would see justice meted out to one so low."

D'Amour leaped to a nearby tabletop and drew his sword. "So. It's a fight you want, eh? You simple-minded dolt! This is my ship, where I am surrounded by a crew so loyal that they would follow me to Hell itself! With them at by back I'm in-" D'Amour found the rest of his speech drowned out by the crew's laughter.

"To Hell. That's a good one, sir!"

"Loyal he says. HAHAHAHA!"

"Oh yes, I'll guard the capn's back, just long enough to put me knife in it!"

A chant of 'KUNOU, KUNOU, KUNOU!' rose from the crew.

Ranma was more than halfway to his room before Nodoka caught up to him.

"Ranma. Please wait!"

Despite the betrayal he felt, he turned. "What is it, Mom?"

"I just wanted to assure you I had nothing to do with that situation. I know you want to wait a while before marrying Akane. I intend to respect your wishes."

He sighed. She still had not listened to what he had said about choosing who he was going to marry, but at least she was willing to give him some leeway. "Thanks, Mom." He turned to go once more.

"Can we have breakfast together? Dinner was ruined after all, and I still want to spend time with you."

Ranma nodded. "Sure, Mom. Only..."

"Yes?"

"Maybe we could leave Pop behind."

Nodoka smiled. "He had you to himself for over ten years. It's been too long since we spent some quality time together with just the two of us."

Ukyou turned down her covers and prepared for bed. It had been a long day with much to think about, but at least she had had the time to do it. No attacking French chefs, lost bats, bi-sexual cheerleaders, aquatranssexuals, or cross-dressers disguised as dressers had accosted her for nearly five hours. It was the longest stretch of peace she had had in the last six months. That wasn't to say the chaos wasn't enjoyable a lot of the time, it was just that she needed bouts of peace and quiet every once in a while. Ironically, that serenity was now starting to irritate her, and she began to feel lonely. She was considering seeking out Ai or Ryouga when there was a knock on the door.

Ukyou opened it to see a tall man, who was at least a good five inches taller than her, standing in the doorway. He wore a rather appealing combination of dark blue pants and white dress shirt with a blue vest. His hair was tied back, similar to Ukyou's style, and had a dark purple tint to it that was deeper than Shampoo's. However, the most remarkable thing about him was his face. He was probably as handsome as Shampoo-kun, which made him more than a little easy on Ukyou's eyes.

"Excuse me, Miss Kuonji?"

"Uh, yes. I am " He had her at a disadvantage. She was certain she would remember someone as attractive as him, although he did seem vaguely familiar. "And you are?"

"Akira Nakajima." He bowed before Ukyou. "I overheard that blonde girl, Ai, mention your name. That's how I knew yours." He fished something out of the pocket on his vest. "You dropped this." He held a throwing spatula in his hand.

Ukyou's hands went reflexively to her bandoleer, seeking a spot for the missing one. A quick inventory seemed to account for all of them. Still, she recognized the one in his hand as unquestionably hers. "Thanks," she said as she accepted the weapon.

"No problem." He began sniffing the air. "Is that okonomiyaki I smell?"

"Yeah. I just made some." She indicated the portable grill that was sitting on the floor. "The ship's food is rather..." She wondered how one could say food was rancid without offending.

"You're right. It is," he chuckled.

She examined him more closely. He had helped her recover her weapon, and he seemed friendly enough. There was something disarmingly charming about the man. Politeness called on her to do something in return for the favor. "Sit down, please. I'll make you some okonomiyaki."

"It's no bother?" he asked as he entered the room.

"Not at all." Ukyou sat down next to her grill and whipped up an okonomiyaki. She watched his reaction carefully as he bit down into it.

"Hmmm," he mumbled as he savored the taste in his mouth. "I can honestly say this is the best okonomiyaki I have ever had."

"Thanks," Ukyou beamed. "It's my specialty."

"How appropriate. The best okonomiyaki in the world is served by the prettiest okonomiyaki chef there is."

Ukyou felt a blush creep to her face.

"I'm sorry," Akira said. "Did I offend you?"

"Oh no," Ukyou quickly blurted out. "It's just I'm not used to getting compliments like that. Heck, a lot of people mistake me for a guy."

"That, I find impossible to believe," Akira said soberly. "Forgive me if I seem a bit forward, but I have to admit, I was glad you dropped your spatula. It gave me an excuse to meet you." He looked at the ground. "I am being too forward. I'm sorry. It's just that most women don't find me attractive."

Ukyou's jaw nearly dropped. "Are you kidding?! You're one of the best looking guys I've ever met." Her hands darted to her mouth. What had possessed her to blurt out something like that?

Akira sounded surprised. "Really? Thank you."

"S...sure. No problem." Ukyou hoped Akira did not think she was flirting with him. Her hands were quite full with Ai, though as she stared at Akira, she was struck once again by the sense of familiarity about him. It was something about his eyes.

Akira cleared his throat. "I have a favor to ask. I need a woman's opinion about something."

Ukyou was not sure what to make of that. "Yes?"

"There's this girl I'm interested in. She's a friend, probably the best one I've ever had. She's not seeing anyone, and I'm trying to get involved with her. The only problem is she has reservations about having a relationship with me."

Something was nagging at Ukyou's memory even as she listened to Akira. "What's the problem?"

"Well, I think she likes me as a person, but she's hung up on the way I look."

"She's the one that thinks you're unattractive?"

"Sort of," Akira reluctantly admitted. "I think it's narrow-minded of her, but no one's perfect. Not even me."

Ukyou took note of the egotistical statement as she became certain he was holding something back.

"Anyway," Akira continued. "I've been thinking about making a big change in my life for her."

"Hold on a minute, sugar. If she can't accept you for who you are then that's her problem. You shouldn't have to change."

His eyes narrowed. "You mean you've never undergone a massive change for a guy?"

Ukyou was about to answer of course not, but then remembered Ranma and all of the changes she had undergone involving him. "Maybe I have, but it might have been wrong to do it."

That seemed to placate Akira. "Compared to losing her, no change is too great. But I just want to make sure she'd like the change."

Ukyou was about to say something when she at last knew what was familiar about Akira. It was that narrowing of the eyes. Her guts knotted up in horror at the suspicion, and she wanted to throw out an accusation, but she remained calm. She needed to be certain.

She turned partially away, only affording Akira a half glance. "You want to know something really disgusting? That girl you talked to, Ai. She kissed me today. It was so gross." She watched Akira's reaction carefully from out of the corner of her eye. "Like I would ever want to get it on with another woman. I've only tolerated her this long because I think it's funny."

Akira's reaction to that was all the confirmation Ukyou needed. He was not even close to covering up his true emotions. She turned fully to face him. "Excuse me for being so forward myself, but you really turn me on. Let me show you how much."

She approached him as seductively as she could. Surprise overcame the pain that had been evident upon him before. Slowly the okonomiyaki chef slid into his lap. Her hand strayed to his chest as she leaned forward, blew in his ear once, and began whispering. "Actually, everything I said about Ai was a lie. The only thing she could do that would really anger me was if she turned herself into a guy."

'Akira's' heart skipped a beat as he dared to look directly into Ukyou's eyes.

Ukyou's voice of seduction turned into one of anger as she jumped off of Akira's lap and grabbed him by the collar, shaking him in a powerful grip. "How could you?! How could you do something like that to yourself?!"

"I...I just thought you'd like it better if I could change into a man," Ai-kun stammered. "I know you still have hang-ups about me being a woman. So I thought if I was like Shampoo it would work out!"

Ukyou felt her rage practically explode. "Just because you look like a guy doesn't change anything! You will always be a woman to me! Just like Shampoo is! How can you think I'm that shallow?!" She stopped shaking him as some of the anger began to give way to sorrow and her voice dropped to half of its original volume. "Damn it, Ai! You're the one that told me I should be proud to be a woman. And I really started to believe I could be one and still dress and behave like I do. But now you've just thrown it all away on some whim in the hopes I might like you better.

"You were my role model, in a weird sort of way. Now look at what you've done! Do you know what kind of message that sends to me? That you can just give yourself some kind of curse and be a guy without thinking twice about it? It means everything you told me was a bunch of lies, and that your own femininity was so meaningless to you, you'd get rid of it without a second thought."

Ukyou began sobbing a little. "You don't even understand what I want! If I get involved in a relationship with you, it's because of who you are, not what you look like! And now you've ruined everything between us! You never even asked how I'd feel about you cursing yourself. How can you say you love me if you won't even consider my feelings?"

Ai-kun was in shock. "I didn't know you felt that strongly about me. I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"And now you're stuck as a guy," Ukyou said through sobs. "How could you do that to yourself?"

Ai-kun looked sadly at her. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, but you don't have to worry about the curse. I didn't use real magic water. It's just an instant variety that only works once. I talked with that old Amazon about the magic springs and she said that if I was seriously considering changing myself into a guy, I should try out the body first. So she let me use some."

Ukyou just stood there, confused. Her mouth was barely able to form the words. "Only...once?"

"Yes," Ai-kun reassured her. "Hot water will make me a girl again and I won't change into a guy anymore. I was considering going to that Jusenkyou place, but I wanted to see how you would react to the idea. I didn't tell you who I was at first because I wanted to surprise you." Ai-kun paused a moment before continuing. "I also wanted to see if you thought I was attractive. It would have made me feel...good to see you behave like that to me. I never thought you'd be so against the idea. I'm sorry."

Much to Ai-kun's surprise, Ukyou embraced him. "Don't you ever scare me like that again, you jackass." She released him. "Now you have to promise me you won't ever curse yourself. I won't let you do something like that to me again."

Ai-kun held up his hand. "I promise." Once he was sure Ukyou calmed down he got a mischievous idea. "Just out of curiosity, do you think this male body is appealing?"

Ukyou gave a tired sigh. "Yes. It is attractive, but it's not you."

"I see." Ai-kun nodded his head approvingly. "Since I have this male body anyway, at least for the moment, don't you think it would be a waste if we didn't..." he ran his tongue across his lips. "...try it out?"

Ukyou shook her head. "Don't press your luck, Ai. You got me pretty angry with you."

"Ah, well." Ai-kun shrugged. "You know, this male form of mine is something of a disappointment"

Ukyou cocked her head her head quizzically. "In what way?"

"Well, since I'm so well endowed as a girl, I just figured I would be the same way as a guy. But...well, see for yourself." Ai-kun stood up and dropped his pants and boxers. "See? I'm not big at all. In fact, I'm below average. It's very disappointing, wouldn't you agre... Ukyou? Why are you covering up your eyes?"

"Because I don't want to see you naked!" When Ai had stood up and displayed himself, Ukyou got more than a passing glimpse of Ai-kun, and to her it appeared he had plenty to offer. However, her conservative nature kicked in, making her cover her eyes.

"Oh come on. I can't be the first guy you've ever seen, and you've already said you don't want to do anything. You know I'll respect your wishes. You have nothing to fear."

"Just pull up your pants. I don't want to look at you."

Ai-kun thought he knew what her problem was; Ukyou was finding herself turned on, and she was not the only one. Ai-kun discovered he was becoming aroused at the idea of Ukyou finding him attractive, and that arousal was making itself known. Ai-kun took note that there was a slight difference in the feeling between when men were turned on when compared to women. And it didn't have entirely to do with the 'equipment' change.

He ignored the urge to take Ukyou up in his arms, and pulled his pants up. "I'm dressed."

Ukyou slowly peeked through her fingers, saw Ai-kun was telling the truth, and relaxed. "You'd better go."

For once Ai-kun did not protest. He agreed, but not before giving Ukyou a peck on the cheek before departing.

Ukyou stared at the door after Ai-kun had exited. Matters were coming to a head, and she was going to have to make a decision soon. Both for Ai's sake and her own.

Kasumi decided to go out on the deck and enjoy the night air. Dinner had been something of a disappointment. Ordinarily she would have loved eating with Shampoo, but tonight, when she had tried to talk about their morning conversation, Shampoo changed the subject. Kasumi let it drop, of course -it would have been rude to press on- but it had been disappointing. So after dinner she found herself unable to sleep and chose to walk on the deck. It was late enough she believed that she would have the deck to herself, which was why it was such a surprise to find a ten year old girl already present and looking out at the nighttime ocean. It took Kasumi a moment to recall the girl's name: Sparrow.

"Hello," Kasumi greeted gently.

Sparrow's head quickly darted in Kasumi's direction, much like her namesake. The young girl smiled in return, then gave a sad look and pointed to her throat.

"Oh my! That's right. You can't talk." Kasumi brought her hands up and began motioning with them. [Would it make you feel better if I talked like this?]

Sparrow appeared startled for a moment, then relaxed. [You know the sign language of the Joketsuzoku!]

Kasumi thought about that for the briefest of moments. When had she learned that? Shampoo must have taught her. [Yes. I can.]

Sparrow returned that with a joyful smile that only the young could give. [That's great. Not too many of my people know how to communicate like this. Just my family, and a couple of others, and all the Elders. But who wants to talk to Elders? They never have anything interesting to say. They just want to collect the messages I have and send me on my way.]

Kasumi noticed the girl appeared a little saddened when she mentioned that. [You sound lonely.]

The girl looked at Kasumi in surprise. [Not exactly. Everyone treats me nicely,] she signed reluctantly. [Besides, it could be worse. If I didn't have my curse, I wouldn't be the best messenger in the village.]

[Why would that be worse?]

Sparrow appeared reluctant to answer, but gazed into Kasumi's eyes. There was a kindness there that made her want to trust the older girl. [My people look down upon those that are not whole. It is not as though they are harmed or thrown out, but they are not treated with the same respect others are given, at least by most.] Her sadness at admitting that was quickly replaced. [But sometimes, people can overcome their problems, like that blind dummy, Mu Tse. If he weren't stupidly throwing himself at Xian Pu all the time, he'd have a lot more respect. And I get a lot of respect because I am the best and fastest messenger ever. No one else comes close. Even though I am young, I get more honor than a lot of adults!]

Kasumi was delighted at the girl's happiness in her abilities, but she detected something else in Sparrow's eyes. Some sort of melancholy. [What do your friends think of your role as messenger?]

The look of melancholy grew. [I don't have many friends. There are only a couple of good ones that can use sign language, but most of my people just say hello and move on.]

Kasumi gave the girl an apologetic stare. [I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.]

Sparrow shook her head, and perked up a bit. [It's all right. Besides, I have a gift the others don't.]

[What's that?]

Sparrow gave an elfish grin a leaped atop the railing. [I can fly!] She spread her arms out and began walking along with exaggerated motions with her arms as she flitted back and forth.

"Be careful! You might fall!" Kasumi said.

Sparrow did a pirouette on one toe, then stopped so she could sign once more. [I never fall off. My balance is too good. I think it has to do with my curse. I'm used to perching on things.] To prove her point she went through an intricate series of leaps and dances along the thin metal rail that would put Ranma to shame. Satisfied she proved her point, she stopped to sign once again. [But the best thing in the world is the ability to fly! That's why I'm not really sad, even though I don't have many friends. None of them could fly with me.]

Sparrow's eyes took on a distant cast. [There's nothing in the world that can match the feeling of the wind running through your wings. You can practically see the whole world when you fly as high as you can. The village looks like a speck. It's so tiny you wouldn't know people live there.] She gave a broad grin. [I've been farther and to more places than anyone, except maybe Perfume and some of the elders. I love flying!]

Sparrow hopped down to the deck and walked up to Kasumi. [If I had any one wish in the world, I wouldn't use it to wish for being able to talk. I'd wish I could fly faster. That way I could see even more places than I can now and I could get there quicker. It would be wonderful.]

Kasumi admired the young girl. There had been many difficulties for her, yet she overcame them all and still enjoyed life. If only there was some way for Kasumi to grant Sparrow that wish. Then it came to her.

[Sparrow, I know a way you can increase your speed. Hold your hands up, palms flat and pointing up to the sky.]

Sparrow gave Kasumi a curious glance. [How will that make me faster?]

An eye blink later Kasumi disappeared. Sparrow stared at where she had been but a moment ago. Then felt a tap to her shoulder. Sparrow turned to see Kasumi, giving her one of the warmest smiles she had ever seen. Sparrow's hands failed her for a moment before she managed, [How?]

Kasumi began talking. "Chi manipulation used to enhance speed. I did cheat a little and use a camouflage shift to hide my after-image, otherwise you would have seen me blur instead of disappear outright. But don't worry, you'll be plenty fast enough. Now tell me, can you manipulate your chi?"

Sparrow shook her head.

"Then I'll show you how to tap into that first. Then we can move on to a basic speed technique. You won't see any differences at first, but if you practice with it a lot you'll get faster." Kasumi paused for a moment, her smile disappearing. "You must promise me one thing. You must never use what I teach you to hurt anyone, or show the technique to anyone else. I'm only showing this to you so you can fly faster, not so you can hurt someone with it."

Sparrow nodded her head solemnly. [I promise. I don't even like to fight. Even if I could speak I would never have made a good warrior. I can defend myself, but beyond that, nothing.]

Kasumi smiled at that. On some instinctual level she knew the Amazon would keep her promise. "Good. Now let's begin."

Soun lay back in his bed and stared at the ceiling. He could just not understand why Akane was so angry with him. She said she wanted to get married to Ranma, so why was she so irate at him for trying to get her what she wanted? It was that way with all of the girls; he never understood them. If only their mother had still been alive, she always seemed to understand everything.

Temporarily overcome with grief, he cried a flood of tears for less than a minute. It was true: time did heal all wounds, even the memories of his departed wife. There was a time not so long ago when he would have been unable to control himself for close to five minutes. He was almost healed, at least as much as he was ever going to be. A gentle rap on the door caught his attention.

"Enter."

Silk quietly entered and closed the door behind her. Soun immediately took note that she was wearing an unusual loose-fitting white jumpsuit. A very strange sight given her usual preference for more subtle wear.

"It's nice to see you again," Silk purred in an almost feline manner. "I'm sorry it took me so long to visit you. There was some Amazon business I had to take care of. But I have some free time, now."

"That's wonderful!" Soun beamed. "Why don't you sit down and we can talk?"

"Talk. Heh."

Soun became nervous at the smile Silk gave when she said, 'talk'. And then there was the way she was making her way over to him. He grew even more apprehensive as he read the body signals she was giving off. It was a familiar motion, one she had used on him on more than one occasion those many years ago. She was stalking prey, and not in the conventional sense of attacking either, though she could certainly play rough when she was in such a mood.

"Talk is good," she said as she paused in front of him. "There's something I need to ask you. I need your opinion."

Soun relaxed ever so slightly. So they WERE going to talk. "Of course."

She placed her hands on the jumpsuit, then ripped it easily off, leaving her wearing nothing more than a smile. "Tear-away clothing. It's amazing what marvels in attire you Japanese come up with," she explained. "And I thought having a lingerie shop on a ship was a foolish idea. Go figure."

Soun moved further back on the bed, away from Silk. "Y...you're not wearing any clothes."

"You always were the more observant of us," she said with a smile. "Since you've known me for so long, I need to ask you the question. How do I look now, compared to when I was younger?"

"Y...you're as beautiful as ever," he said with a trace of awe in his voice.

"What a magnificent liar you are." She gave a soft giggle. "I've worked out hard to stay in shape, but I know time has taken its toll."

"No. I mean it."

Silk seemed genuinely surprised. "Thank you again." Her surprise disappeared as she moved onto the bed and next to Soun in one fluid motion.

"Silk," Soun protested, but made no move to stop her.

"Now what shape are you in?" Her hand found its way past his gi and to his chest. "My, my. You have been keeping in shape." Her hand began to work its way further down Soun's body. "Yes. All of your muscles are very hard. Wait. What's this?"

"Silk," Soun softly protested again, but with much less force.

Silk ignored the plea. "This one is soft. How can that be? We used to give it such good workouts too. Let's start that training regimen again." Silk cut off the third protest by placing a finger from her free hand to his lips and shifting from her playful demeanor to a more serious one. "I think it's been long enough for both of us, don't you?"

Instinctively he wanted to protest, but realized it was more out of habit than for any real reason. In answer to her, he nodded his head.

Shampoo quietly sneaked down the passengers' area the Amazon hunt pack was quartered in. As late as it was, she hoped all of them were asleep. Subterfuge was called for, and the fewer people that saw her awake at that late hour, the better.

The rooms were all quiet, save one from which the sounds of passion were emanating from. Not the one she desired, fortunately. That cabin was next to the one the noises were coming from. She knocked on the door with only the lightest of force.

Perfume opened the door and stared in surprise at her visitor. "What is it?" she whispered, looking down the corridor to see if anyone had spotted Shampoo. Perfume was still wearing her normal clothes. With the noises coming from So Fu next door, there was no way Perfume was going to get any sleep until her neighbor was finished.

"I need your help. It doesn't have anything to do with my problem, but it's important to me."

"Okay, but first I need your opinion on something." Perfume went into her cabin and brought out a dress.

"It looks nice," Shampoo said.

Perfume smiled. "Great! I thought it would look really look cute on Tsubasa."

Shampoo just stared. "You truly scare me sometimes."

"At least the guy I'm after is one all of the time," Perfume retorted.

"It's not that I mean to judge your...tastes, but Tsubasa really is beneath you. He's a pest. He's been accosting one of my friends for months and I think you can do much better. I'm sure there are lots of other cross-dressers out there just waiting for you." Shampoo shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe I just said that."

Perfume shrugged. "When we start going out, I'll be able to judge him for myself, once I figure out what he's disguised as, anyway. Now what did you want?"

Shampoo appeared somewhat nervous. "I need a lookout I can trust."

"Okay," Perfume returned the dress inside and came out with her naginta.

"I don't think you're going to need that," Shampoo warned.

"With that walking libido they call a captain? Guess again. With the way he was hitting on me, this might be the only thing to keep him away. Did you know he even volunteered to wear a dress for me if I'd sleep with him? What am I watching out for anyway?"

Ranma was doing a one-armed handstand in an effort to clear his thoughts. As hard as he tried to come up with a solution, there was still no way he could think of to keep Shampoo out of danger. The only thing he had going for him was that the ship was heading in the wrong direction. That was all that was presently on the bright side. There was also one other thing that was distracting him. Just one question.

Who do I choose?

Over and over his mind kept returning to that one burning question. No matter how hard he attempted to keep it out, it would return and call out to him some more. He decided it was time to stop fighting it and accept an attempt to figure out the answer. There was no clear cut choice, so it would probably be best if he compared the two. There were a lot of pros and cons. Neither girl was perfect, but even he wasn't. He was close, but not quite flawless.

On the good side the girls were both martial artists. Shampoo was great, always able to press him hard, though he was still better. On the other hand, Akane had gotten a lot better in the last few months. On the downside Tarou was largely responsible for that. But he couldn't hold that against her. She had to do what was best for herself. As it stood Shampoo was the better martial artist than Akane. The fight they had the day before proved that.

Too bad martial arts had nothing to do with love.

The next thing to consider was looks. Why not? Shampoo was gorgeous. She had a beautiful face and a great body. The purple hair made her seem exotic. She did have that large scar on her side, courtesy of Perfume, but he didn't care about that.

Then there was Akane. Yes, he had called her an uncute, unsexy, unfeminine tomboy in the past, but the truth was Akane was cute. Actually she was very attractive. Not in the classic way Shampoo was, but in a girl-next-door sort of way. The names he had called her were reflexes. Whenever he felt offended or wronged by her, that was how he fought back. But deep down inside he had never meant them. Never believed in them. Now he could admit it to himself, if not her. So as far as looks went, they were even.

Now that it really mattered. Looks were never truly important to him. Not now. Not ever.

That was two essentially useless categories down. He was about to move on to which one could cook better, since eating was important to him, when he realized he was stalling. He was not going to base a decision on who could be a better 'classic' wife; if he wanted that he would have already run off with Kasumi. No. He had to consider more important issues.

Curses. Shampoo had one. Akane did not. Yes, Shampoo would turn into a guy, but he turned into a girl. He was hardly a hypocrite, and would never shun Shampoo because of her curse. Besides, he had never known her without one, growing to care for her with the knowledge that water turned her into a guy. It was irrelevant to him.

There was the problem with children, but he had already covered that, in a way. He did not want any right away. Period. He was sixteen, going on seventeen. Children were the last thing on his mind. If he chose Shampoo, they would adopt when the time came. That was all that mattered about the curse and children.

Family honor.

Now that was a problem. He was supposed to marry a Tendo. End of discussion. That meant Akane. He cared for her. Might have even lo...the l-word her, but he did not want to feel forced into something he was unsure about.

There really wasn't any way around it. If he chose Shampoo, his family still would not release him from THEIR promise. So unless he turned his back on them and the obligation, and he wasn't certain if he could do that, then he could not marry Shampoo.

Ranma cursed his parents for trying to deny him the right to make any choices in his life.

He gazed at the clock on the wall. Nearly two hours had passed. He had asked himself every question and weighed every fact he could, save one. The most important. And the only one that mattered.

Who did he love?

Through all of the hours and thinking, it all came down to that one question. And he still didn't know the answer to it.

Ranma gave up and stared at the ceiling, seeing not the mildew encrusted tiles, but Akane and Shampoo's faces dancing before him. Despite the tribulations of the last week, he was not the least bit tired. So he just lay back and pondered how his life had come to the crossroads it was at.

He cursed his lack of experience in matters of the heart. And the more he thought about who to choose, the worse he felt. He wasn't like Pantyhose, who he knew would look at it as a no lose situation. To Ranma, it was a no win situation. One of the girls would end up hurt no matter what, and it would be all because of him.

A soft knock on the door broke him out of his increasing misery. It was well past two AM. No one should have been bothering him at that hour. His muscles tensed as he approached the door.

"Shampoo, what are you doing here? It's late."

Shampoo brushed past Ranma and closed the door behind her. He felt a shiver run down his spine as he noticed the familiar predatory gleam in the Amazon's eyes.

"Shampoo, why are you here?"

Shampoo moved closer. "I thought you might be having trouble deciding."

Ranma relaxed a tiny fraction. "Yes. I have. So if you came here for an answer, I don't got one."

Shampoo shrugged. "That's okay. I wouldn't expect you to. You don't have all of the facts yet."

Ranma scratched his head in confusion. "I don't have all of the facts?" What was missing that he hadn't considered?

"No." And with that she brought his face to her and gave him a passionate kiss, not breaking it for close to a full minute. When Shampoo broke off the kiss she gasped for air.

"Wow! Ranma sure know how to kiss." It took her a moment to realize she had become so excited that her command of Japanese had slipped. Composing herself, she continued. "I mean, you should know how I kiss. That'll make your decision easier. You're really a good kisser, though," she added.

At first, Ranma was more than a little weak in the knees. Not the sort of reaction he would have expected from his first kiss, at least as a guy. Then what she said kicked in and his defenses went up. "You kissed me!"

"You kissed back."

It took him a moment to realize that, after the initial shock, he had indeed kissed her back. He didn't even remember thinking about it; it had been an automatic reaction. A good one though.

"Yeah. I did." He began to swagger a little as his confidence began to build. "And I did it good too."

Shampoo picked up that, for all of his posturing, he was also asking her if it had been good. "Hmmm," she purred. "The absolute best. It was much better, than Mikado or Uk... It was really, really good." She hoped he hadn't caught the gaffe. Besides, Ukyou had kissed her.

Ranma was so busy feeling proud of himself he missed Shampoo's slip of the tongue. He had not realized how afraid he was that his kissing technique was horrible. After all, the only time he had kissed a girl was Akane in the park, and she had run off screaming. Well, she had pretty much done all the kissing; he had done nothing other than sit there in shock, but he was still afraid he had done something wrong.

He was going to say something else when Shampoo's next action gained all of his attention. The Amazon took her top off, revealing everything nature had given her for Ranma to see. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he told himself he should have remembered to return her lingerie to her.

"Sh...Sh...Shampoo! What are you doing?!"

She latched onto him, pressing herself tight against his body. "I just want to show you what else you'll have if you choose me." She hooked one leg around his hip and semi-straddled him. "Think of it as a trial run."

Fear and lust fought for control within Ranma. Instinctively his body reacted with hers. He wanted to do it, he could feel that, but at the same time he did not want to. It was a paradox that was almost as difficult as trying to decide between Akane and Shampoo. What she said made sense...no! He wasn't that way. "Shampoo. Let go."

She maintained her hold, rubbing her leg across his backside. "You don't want me to."

He allowed a little more intensity to creep into his voice. "Yes. I do."

This time Shampoo relinquished her hold and stepped back a couple of feet. She placed her hands on her hips, making certain Ranma had an unrestricted view of her chest. "What's wrong?" There was more than a hint of irritation in her voice.

"Cover your chest too."

She did as she asked and crossed her arms in front of her chest, leaving her top on the floor. Why was he acting so resistant? It wasn't as though she was forcing him to make a choice. She just wanted to...persuade him a little. As she thought about it, she began to consider an alternate reason for his refusal to her advances. "You think I'm ugly, don't you?" It made sense to her. It would be just her luck to discover the one man in the world that thought big-chested, purple-haired girls were a turn off.

"NO! Why does it always have to be about looks with you girls? I don't care what you look like."

That eased her somewhat, but maybe it was something else. "You do like girls, right?"

"Of course I do! What kind of a stupid question is that?!"

"You're not afraid of me because of my curse?"

"No!"

Shampoo thought she might have the reason at last. "Ranma, you be honest with me. Do you have problems performing?"

He stared at her in confusion. "No. I'm a good actor. And if I have problems with my lines, the solution is one electro-shock away."

Shampoo resisted the very powerful urge to strike him. Even Ranma should have picked up on that. He had to be avoiding the question. "Ranma, just because you have problems getting it up it's okay. I read in school that most of the time the problem is psy...psycho...is all in your head. With the way your father raised you that's not a surprise. And if it is physical there's plenty of drugs that can overcome it." She took a deep breath. "And if you can't overcome it, it won't make any difference to me. I'll love you anyway." She smiled to herself, quite proud of the sacrifice she was willing to make.

"Are you finished?" Ranma said softly.

"Yes."

"Good." He took a deep breath.

"I'M NOT IMPOTENT!" About halfway through the declaration he had finally understood what she meant by 'performing'.

That confused Shampoo. She was all out of ideas. "Then why won't you sleep with me?"

Oh how he loathed explaining himself, but if he didn't she was going to be confused and miserable. "Look. My decision ain't going to be based on how good the ah, sex is. It's going to be who I love."

"I'm not asking you to make a choice," Shampoo protested.

"For me, sleeping with you or Akane would be a choice. That's the way I am. It's not like you would sleep around with some guy you thought was good-looking."

"Ah, no!" She began sweating appreciatively. "I would never sleep with a man I didn't love or was just really good friends with." That was the truth, basically.

"Right," Ranma agreed. "If I'm going to sleep with someone, it's going to be someone I love, and after I'm married. I'd want to do it properly and all."

Shampoo never really understood how old-fashioned Ranma was about that sort of thing. It was kind of sweet. It was also inconvenient, annoying, and frustrating as hell, but sweet. "If you're sure, then I'll back off." She gave him a coy gaze. "If you're sure."

"I am."

"Then let's kiss some more!" She grabbed him once again.

He tried squirming out of her grasp. "I..it's not that I didn't like it! I did! But it's not fair to Akane. And I kind of want to make sure whoever I do that with is the one I choose." Actually he felt he was two-timing Akane. It wasn't as though someone as conservative as her would ever try the sort of thing Shampoo was doing.

Shampoo backed off. As much as she wanted to stay, pushing Ranma would only make him resentful, not compliant.

As Shampoo considered what to do, Perfume's voice came loudly from the hall. "Oh! Hi there, Akane Tendo! What brings you here this time of night?!"

Ranma panicked. What was Akane doing out at that time of night? What was Perfume doing there too?

"That's my early warning system," Shampoo said, answering his unspoken question. Her original intent was to have Perfume warn her if anyone was coming, then make a break for it. But now that she considered it, she should let Akane find out about her presence. If Akane followed her usual pattern, she would jump to an inaccurate conclusion, not listen to the explanation, then call off the engagement. A happy ending for all.

Ranma came to the same conclusion, save the last part. "You've got to get out of here!"

Shampoo gave him a defiant stare. "Why?"

"Because she's going to think we were doing something when we weren't!"

"It's not my fault she's self-centered and won't listen to your explanations."

Ranma gave her a flat stare. "And like you always listen to what I say. Just like that time Akari's breasts fell into my face and I had to touch her to get her off."

Shampoo scowled at Ranma. "It looked to me like you enjoyed groping her chest! You sure didn't move your hands away from her too quick! You just squeezed her so you could get a cheap feel!"

Ranma silently wondered if all women sounded like Akane when they were jealous. He also realized that Akane and Perfume's voices were getting louder.

"What are you doing here, Perfume?"

"I'm just enjoying the night air, Akane Tendo!"

"Inside?"

"It looked like rain, Akane Tendo!"

"Why do you keep saying my name?"

"I'm showing you respect, Akane Tendo!"

There was a pause before Akane spoke again. "I understand! Shampoo's in there and you're trying to warn her!"

"I have no idea of what you are talking about."

"Liar! Get out of my way!"

"I'm trying, but, you keep moving into it."

Ranma's panic doubled. There was no way Perfume could keep an angry Akane out. "Shampoo, please."

She couldn't resist a pleading Ranma. "I'll go out the window." It was then Shampoo remembered one very important detail she had overlooked when making her escape plan: ships don't have windows. They have portholes. Small ones. Very small ones. Very small ones that Shampoo could not possibly fit through.

"Un oh." She gave a nervous chuckle.

Ranma ran around the room, frantically. "We gotta get you out of sight!" As though there was any such place in the small, cabin where that would work.

Shampoo was initially pleased that she would be discovered by Akane. But an image went through her mind that if Akane rejected Ranma under those circumstances, he might be tempted to win her back. He might even agree to marry her to get back in her good graces. That would not do. Shampoo then considered how to get out of sight. There was no other way out of the cabin than the door, and in order to use that Akane would have to be distracted so Shampoo could sneak out. But what to use as a distraction? Then she got the idea.

The Amazon ran over to the wall next to an adjacent cabin and made one of her old style 'entrances', making a woman-sized hole in the wall. Instead of going through it, she backed away and hid next to a dresser against the wall the real door was set in. As long as Akane did not move into the portion of the room opposite the hole, Akane would never know she was there. Shampoo only needed a moment to get out once Akane was distracted.

Akane burst through the door just as the dust around the hole was settling. "I knew it! Shampoo was here!"

Ranma stared nervously at Akane. "No! No! She's not here! That wall collapsed on its own. This is a run down ship and that happens all the time."

"Liar! She just made that hole and is trying to escape!" To prove her point Akane went through the hole, giving Shampoo enough time to escape out the door and run for it. Perfume stopped her long enough to tell Shampoo to wait at the end of the hall and out of sight long enough for Perfume to talk to her.

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, until his eyes fell on Shampoo's top still lying on the floor. Quickly he tucked it under the covers of his bed.

Akane made an intensive search of the adjacent cabin. Much to her frustration it was empty, and the door was locked from the outside. She had been certain the hole had been caused by Shampoo, too. When she returned to Ranma's cabin she saw Perfume smiling smugly at her.

"See. I told you."

Akane stared suspiciously. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to try to seduce Ranma away from you and Shampoo. He would look so good in a dress." Perfume gave a deep sigh and stared longingly at Ranma.

Akane began to glow blue. "He is not a pervert! Now get out of here!" She rushed Perfume out the door and slammed it shut behind her. "She's lucky I don't beat her up for what she did to me and my family," Akane growled.

She calmed herself down and turned to Ranma. "I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm just on edge." She examined the hole once again. "I guess this ship really is a piece of...well, you know."

"Yeah." Ranma wiped the sweat from his brow. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Akane began fidgeting, giving nervous glances throughout the room and looking at everything but Ranma. "Well, I...umm,"

Ranma just stared at her as she continued stuttering for almost a minute. "Are you just going to mumble all night?" Ranma rumbled, the series of the day's events having finally worn his patience down.

Akane scowled at him, then found resolve in her irritation. She forcefully grabbed his head and brought his lips to hers. It wasn't easy for her to make the effort to 'win a guy' like that. It wasn't as though she did not want to kiss Ranma, it was just she had as much experience as Ranma in dealing with matters of the heart.

It was obvious, even to her, that Ranma was confused and trying hard not to hurt anyone. She was willing to give him a leeway now that she had been unwilling to in the past. He was being tentative, and under different circumstances that was the way she would have preferred things, but now there was an outside force to consider. Akane had to take desperate measures to influence Ranma, and that meant going to his room and doing what needed to be done.

Besides, it was exactly what Shampoo would have done if she had not beaten the Amazon to it.

After a minute Akane came up for air. "Sorry," she gasped. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's déjà vu all over again," Ranma said as he felt weak in the knees once more.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Ranma said quickly. Since it seemed Akane missed the innuendo, he thought about the kiss he had just received. It was different from Shampoo's, but felt every bit as good. Maybe it was too bad the girls didn't get along. Then they could...

He got rid of those sort of thoughts immediately. Even thinking about it was more than he could handle.

Akane spoke up once more. "I know that was kind of forward of me. But we've been engaged for almost a year and never really kissed."

"Except for the time in the park and you took off screaming," Ranma said dryly.

"Err...yeah. Sorry about that." Akane blushed a little. That had seemed like a million years ago, but the memory did make her want to try something. Just to make certain she was over that particular problem. She grabbed a pitcher of water next to Ranma's night stand and proceeded to dump the contents on his head.

"Hey!" Ranma-chan spluttered as she tried wiping some of the water out of her hair. "What's the big idea?!"

Akane didn't answer, but rather kissed Ranma-chan once again. The kiss was much briefer than the first, but tasted just as good to Akane. "I just wanted to show you I don't care if you're a boy or a girl. I care about you either way."

"Oh," Ranma-chan said softly.

Akane became nervous again. She wasn't certain if she could go through with the next part, but she did not want to risk losing him. "Ranma, if you want to do anything else, we can. Anything you want."

Ranma-chan examined Akane closely. Was she implying...she was. That was all she needed. For two people that were so different, it was amazing how Akane's mind mirrored Shampoo's sometimes.

"Neither of us is ready for that. You'd better leave." Ranma-chan held open the door for her.

Akane gave her a hurt look. "You don't...want me?"

Ranma-chan shook her head. "Believe me when I say I would do the exact same thing if Shampoo threw herself at me. It's not that I don't think you're attractive. It's just the way I am."

Akane seemed a little reassured, if hurt, by Ranma-chan's refusal. She gave her a smile and left quietly. Akane touched her lips as she headed towards her room. That had not gone as she had thought it would, but it wasn't a bad start. Not at all.

She was more than halfway back when she passed Minami's room and heard the sounds of retching. Akane wondered how the poor ghost sweeper was doing and knocked on the door. A weak 'enter' was the response.

Akane examined Minami, who was still laying in her bed, a foul smelling bucket next to her. Akane tried ignoring the smell as she looked her friend over. "Has it been like this all day?" Akane asked.

Minami nodded her head weakly. "It's magic. I'm sure of it."

"What is there that could make you magically sick?"

"I don't know," she said. "It doesn't matter. I'll be at your side when the time comes. I promise you."

"You have no idea how sorry I am to hear you say that."

Akane spun in the direction of the voice behind her. She turned just in time to see a tall figure shrouded in a black robe with the hood drawn up over its head wave a hand before her.

"Sleep," the figure intoned. Akane hit the floor a moment later, in a deep slumber.

Minami recognized the figure, even if she could not see his face. The voice and soft pink glint where the figure's left eye should have been was a giveaway. "Fistandantilus," she barely managed to get out. It made sense now. He was more than powerful enough to curse her into such a state. And she was too weak to do anything now.

"Yes. I told you a time of darkness would come and I would see you survive it. Your friends are most likely marching to their death, but not you. I owe a favor to the Six Fingered Hand, and they want you alive. Once I have done that, my debt to them is canceled. So sleep, Neria. And when you awaken, your world will probably no longer be your own." He cast a spell before her. It would render her comatose for the next five days, at which time all would be decided.

Minami managed to say. "Not Neria. Neria...was mother's...name." She could just barely make out the response as everything went dark.

"Yes. It is."

Shampoo crossed her arms over her chest as she and Perfume walked the corridors of the ship. She had forgotten her top in her haste. At least no one had seen her yet.

"Maybe you'd better change before some sailor comes on to you," Perfume suggested.

Shampoo nodded, and made a 'door' to one of the cabins. It was deserted, and one splash of cold water later, a male Shampoo-kun left the cabin. As he walked down the corridor he felt the ship lurch much more than it had in the past. Something was rocking the boat.

"Let's talk in Japanese," Shampoo-kun suggested. "It'll help people not put two and two together, not that I believe any of our sisters are awake at this time of night."

"Okay." The two walked in silence for a while, only the sound of their footsteps accompanying them. Eventually Perfume spoke up. "Shampoo, what would you give for our people?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Perfume's voice dropped several decibels, making it difficult for Shampoo-kun to hear her. "What would you give for our people? What if there was something only you could do to save them? Some threat so great that it would require a sacrifice of something that you held dear? Could you give up your friends? Your love? Your life?"

Shampoo-kun became concerned at his friend's suddenly odd behavior. Perfume was always a deep thinker that would ask odd questions, but this was much stranger than anything Shampoo-kun could remember the girl had asked in the past. "You're not making any sense."

"Just answer the question. I need to know." Perfume was almost pleading, something she had almost never done.

Shampoo-kun tried thinking of how to answer the question. "I would do anything for them, even give my life. But I have no intention of dying because of this stupid curse and stupid law! It's wrong. There's nothing either it or I can do to harm our people. I'm no threat. There's no reason to die, and I'm not going to let myself be killed!"

Perfume's attitude suddenly changed as she became much happier. "Let's go spar!"

"At this time of night?" Shampoo-kun said in disbelief. Had Perfume lost her mind?

"It might be the last chance we get. Besides, no one back home can truly test me anymore. You're the only one I can go all out with."

Shampoo-kun thought it over. It was late, and he was tired, but the chance to spar with Perfume was too great to pass up. Sparring with Ranma had taught Shampoo-kun that he could never be 'good enough'. Being the best was something one always had to fight for, and that could only be done by taking on the best and triumphing. The fights with Perfume had always been close. Now it was time for Shampoo-kun to find out if he could truly call himself the best of the Amazons.

The two made their way to the deck, the only place on the ship that was big enough to have a decent match. As they neared their destination they felt the ship's lurching become more violent. Once they made it to the deck, they saw the cause of the craft's increase in movement. There was a storm blowing. From the way the ship was being tossed both thought they were in the middle of a typhoon. The furious cacophony of waves hitting the ship, wind howling in their ears, and rain falling in sheets made both Amazons have to shout to be heard.

"We can't go out in this!" Shampoo-kun protested.

Perfume gave him a wild-eyed look as she placed a leather cover over the blade of the naginta. "Don't be such a baby! What's life without a little risk? Nothing but a way of watching yourself wither and die moment by moment. I choose to live life, and I am going to dance in that mother of a storm and show the gods what I'm made of! Make up your mind! Are you alive, or do you wait for death like some old male?!" Without waiting for an answer, Perfume disappeared into the pouring rain.

Shampoo-kun considered Perfume's words for a moment. It all came down to one question: Live life safely or on the edge?

Shampoo-kun ran out into the storm.

There was a moment of disorientation as Shampoo-kun found himself blinded by the rain and the wind. The slick surface of the deck made his footing unsound. It was during his confusion that Perfume struck. The advantage she had from adjusting to the harsh conditions first paid off as she connected with the blunt end of the naginta into Shampoo-kun's right shoulder. A follow-up fist struck Shampoo-kun in the temple. He barely had enough time to avoid or parry Perfume's series of attacks. He had to admit, Perfume was pressing him hard and holding nothing back. If Shampoo-kun had not known better, he would have sworn his old friend was really trying to hurt him.

The fight began to move from one end of the ship to the other. Shampoo-kun was put on the defensive for the first part of the combat, but managed to regain his full senses and began to retaliate. The reach advantage Perfume had made fighting difficult, and Shampoo-kun's right shoulder continued to bother him. Perfume landed a second strike into it and made the pain worse, rendering Shampoo-kun's arm nearly inoperable.

"How does that feel?!" Perfume shouted over the ever increasing storm.

Shampoo-kun connected with a vicious backfist to Perfume's head. The girl went sprawling nearly twenty feet on the wet deck. "Pretty damn good!"

Perfume regained her footing and the two fought on more even standing once again. A second dance of violence erupted between the two. Unlike the last one, the pair fought not for death, but for pride. For all of the sparring it was supposed to be, the intensity of the fight could not help escalating as the storm heightened in watery fury. Wind tore at both fighters, making the conflict increasingly difficult, yet at the same time adding to it as each combatant used the battleground to their advantage. Lightning struck nearby as they went leaping from one side of the roofs on the ship to the other. Each tried to assault the other in the storm. Twice each warrior nearly lost their footing and plunged to the deck below, yet all it did was to add fuel to their duel.

After several more exchanges, Shampoo-kun at last managed to hurl Perfume's naginta away from her. The cursed Amazon's hope that the move would give him an advantage failed as he discovered that Perfume was as much a mistress of unarmed combat as she was with her weapons. The two exchanged a rapid succession of blows with one another, each sacrificing defense for offense. Had there been any observer present, and had he been able to gaze into the two warriors' eyes, he would have seen a look of near madness upon each one's features. The combatants' passion matched the savagery of the storm; both of them were wild in a near orgasmic frenzy of violence.

Nearly twenty more minutes passed as the two fought, until at last Shampoo-kun connected with a series of fists and kicks concentrated on Perfume's head. With one final blow he drove her back into a radar dish with such force it nearly snapped Perfume's spine. The girl lay on the metal plates, moaning softly while holding her back in pain.

Shampoo-kun roared at the rain filled skies in triumph, then stared at his opponent and had to suppress the urge to finish her off. The razor's edge of emotion he had been riding on for the last twenty minutes left him in a near animalistic state of mind. At some point primal instincts had overridden his rational mind, and the duel had degenerated into a desperate fight for dominance. Now he had to bring those emotions under control, lest they consume him.

It took him nearly a full minute before he could trust himself to not attack Perfume. And perhaps the most horrifying thing was, he felt no shame at the loss of control. It had been liberating, in some base way, and he almost wished he could have maintained that state of mind. But on some deep level he knew better, and that cutting loose was simply something he had needed to do for so very long. He ignored the siren's call to release all of those base urges and reigned in his emotions, even as the storm seemed to beckon him into raging out of control once again. Slowly he approached Perfume.

"I cannot think of a more magnificent fight I have ever bee-"

Shampoo-kun's statement was cut short as Perfume kicked out, sweeping his leg out from under him, forcing him to land on his injured shoulder. It was also at that moment that a powerful wave caused the ship to lurch, sending the sprawling Shampoo-kun and Perfume towards the edge of the roof. Both went over and landed hard on the deck. When Shampoo-kun tried to stop his slide into the ocean, his right arm refused to respond with anything other than pain. The rain-slick deck afforded him no purchase, and with nothing to grab onto, he slid over the side. It was only at the last moment that he snagged the deck with his good arm, fingers digging into the deck plate. The handhold was too perilous and he could not force himself up to the deck. It took all he had to simply maintain his grip.

Perfume managed to stop her own slide earlier by grabbing onto a pipe that was sticking out of the deck. As the ship stopped listing and settled onto a semi-normal position, Perfume regained her feet. She wearily walked over to where Shampoo-kun hung over the side.

"Help me up!" Shampoo-kun shouted over the crashing sound of the sea.

Perfume remained motionless, staring at Shampoo-kun and the precarious handhold he had. The seas rolled in the inky blackness, and even Perfume knew there was no one that could survive that kind of violent surging unprotected for more than a minute. Then the ocean would claim another life, swallowing up someone as though they had never existed. One could not fight the endless waters and win.

"The answer to so many problems," Perfume said softly as she stared at the ocean, unconcerned with the swaying of the ship, as though somehow knowing there was no risk to her life.

Shampoo-kun could not make out the words Perfume spoke. All he could see was that Perfume was suddenly very frightening. It was almost as though he had ceased to exist in his old friend's eyes. "Are you going to help me up or let me die?!"

Perfume's mind was racing with the possibilities. If Shampoo died at sea, the curse would go unrevealed, while her Hunt Pack would have maintained its honor by fulfilling its objective. No shame would fall on Cologne or her clan. No shame would be attributed to Shampoo's name, and she would go down as dying with honor against an opponent one could not hope to best. Perfume would become leader without Shampoo to bar the way. The Joketsuzoku would be safe, not dying in ninety years as Mr. Domino predicted, but going on to fulfill a destiny of rule that would extend across the centuries. Shampoo had said she was willing to die for her people. Now she could prove it.

The breaking point of the deck near Shampoo-kun's hand was clear to Perfume. All it would take was one finger and the deck would shatter and the black-haired boy would plummet to his death. Or she could just wait until his grip failed him and he plunged into the dark waters below. Shampoo-kun could barely hold on, and would fall in at any moment. The solution to so many problems, and it could be obtained by simply doing nothing. All she had to do was let her friend die. A lifetime of dreams was only a moment away.

No.

"Give me your hand, my sister!" Perfume shouted as she reached down and grabbed onto Shampoo-kun's hand that was just about to slip away from the deck. Between the two of them they managed to get Shampoo-kun safely back onboard as the duo moved back from the edge of the ship.

Once he caught his breath Shampoo-kun shot an accusing glare towards Perfume. "What was that all about?"

"I was lost in thought. My apologies."

"Your timing really stinks!" Shampoo-kun glowered. "And by the way, I won the fight."

Perfume smiled at her friend. "I think we both did. The only question now is what price do we pay for our victory?"

It was late morning when So Fu awakened to see her lover had already dressed and had left the cabin. She had had very little experience with members of the opposite sex, but even she could tell her lover was magnificent in bed. She quickly dressed and went outside in the hall, only to see him talking suggestively with Tablet.

"What go on here?" she asked D'Amour.

"He's trying to hit on me," Tablet explained.

So Fu stared in shock at D'Amour. "Why you do that after what we do last night?"

D'Amour shrugged. "Well, it was great, but it's time to move on."

So Fu could not believe what she was hearing. "But you say you love So Fu."

"Hey. Love only goes so far, baby."

She nearly facefaulted in shock. "You imply maybe we marry." That was one of the reasons So Fu had agreed to sleep with him. He had said such words of caring and affection. She was certain he meant every word.

D'Amour covered his ears, as though someone had shouted at him. "Don't say the M-word. It's almost as bad as the C-word."

"C-word?" So Fu asked.

"I think he means commitment," Tablet explained once more.

D'Amour recoiled at the sound.

So Fu felt her anger grow. "So Fu know C-word too. It called 'castration'." She pulled out her belt knife and brandished it towards the captain.

D'Amour backed up in a hurry. "Look. I'm sorry. Why don't we screw some more? Maybe that will make everything better."

"There only one part of you So Fu want to hold in her hands! And it not as big as you brag!" She began chasing D'Amour.

D'Amour rounded a corner just in time to see another Amazon come out of her room. She motioned for him to run into her room. Sensing So Fu about to come around the corner, he took a chance and agreed. The Amazon remained outside, but closed the door behind D'Amour.

So Fu paused in front of Julep. "Have you seen a soon to be dead male run past?"

"I'll take care of him."

The smile Julep gave unnerved So Fu to no end. Still, D'Amour deserved whatever came to him.

Julep went inside her cabin. D'Amour cut himself a dashing figure as he tried to romance her "I know why you saved me, you want me. I can see it in your eyes."

Julep couldn't understand a word he said. Instead she simply said, "Lay down," and pushed him back onto her bed.

"I like aggressiveness," D'Amour commented as Julep straddled his hips. He started to undo his shirt.

"Allow me." Julep dug her nails into the shirt and ripped it clean off his body.

"Feisty," D'Amour noted. "I love that too."

Julep dug her nails into D'Amour's chest, drawing blood. He gave a yell. "OWW! Watch it! I'm not into pain."

Had Julep understood him, her response would have been, 'here's where you get to learn.' It wasn't her fault her wolf genes made her somewhat...frenzied when she was excited like this.

Outside, So Fu listened to the screams of agony coming from D'Amour. Apparently the rumors about Julep's wild nature were true. She decided the captain was going to be punished enough and left him to Julep's tender mercies.

It was an hour later a badly scratched up D'Amour barely made his way out of Julep's room. Muttering about what an animal she was. It was another hour before he made it to his quarters, cleaned himself up, then made himself presentable to his crew. About the only thing that had gone his way was the defeat of that Kunou person. It would have been a lot easier if his crew had not been taking cheap shots at him when his back was to them.

It took him only a few moments to head up to the bridge and take his position as captain. He looked out over the bridge and observed they were approaching an island.

"What island is that?" he asked Kawada

"It's Hawaii, sir."

D'Amour groaned. "Taking the long way again, are we?"

At that moment a wild-eyed man with long red hair ran onto the bridge. "I've done it! I've finally done it!"

The captain shook the man's hand. "Congratulations!"

"Do you even know what he's done, sir, or who he is?" Kawada asked dryly.

"Haven't the faintest idea," he said as continued to shake the man's hand. "I was hoping you would tell me."

"Surprisingly, sir, I don't know who he is or what he's done either."

D'Amour looked the man over. "Who are you?"

"Alexander Luthorinski. And who are you?"

"I'm the captain."

Luthorinski looked the man over. It was such a long time ago that he had met the previous captain he couldn't remember what the man looked like. He shrugged, what was one captain compared to another? "I have finally figured out how to make the fold generators work! And in atmosphere no less!" he shouted excitedly.

"That's great!" D'Amour exclaimed. "Is that fold as in origami?"

"I think he means fold as in time and space, sir."

"Correct!" Luthorinski shouted. "Come over here." He led them to a control panel that no one was manning.

"We have no idea what this one does," D'Amour informed the mad scientist. "It does have lots of pretty blinking lights."

"It's the control panel to the fold generators."

"How do you know that?"

"It says it on the name plate right here." Luthorinski pointed out the name plate to D'Amour.

The captain nodded sagely. "You're a brilliant man, Luthorinski."

Kawada took the crowbar that the helmsman's was aiming at the back of the captain's head out of his hands. "Why don't you explain to us how this works?" Kawada asked.

"Certainly," Luthorinski gave a brief synopsis on how the controls worked, explaining how to set the coordinates and making certain they understood the ship had to be targeted in a body of water, or else the craft would be ruined.

"So we can just suddenly appear somewhere and not have to travel across the seas at all?" the captain asked.

"Well the number of times you can use it is severely limited," Luthorinski reluctantly admitted. "It takes an incredible amount of power to run the generators. There's only enough for two folds per week. No more."

D'Amour practically slavered in anticipation. He could now make a deadline for the first time in his career as ship's captain. "Get me the coordinates for the nearest body of water to Joketsuzoku."

Aki was not present on the bridge, so one of the other crewman the quickly found the coordinates from one of the maps. The nearest body of water they could find was fifty miles away from the Amazon village. It took but a moment to set the coordinates into the computer.

"Do we risk it, sir?" Kawada asked.

D'Amour shrugged. "Nothing ventured nothing gained." He pushed the activation button. "Besides, what could go wrong?"

"We could end up being ejected into deep space," Luthorinski informed them. "But there's only a ten percent chance per fold of that."

"We're safe then." D'Amour grinned happily. "When do we ever beat the odds?"

"Flawless logic as ever, sir," Kawada said as he cursed the gods for delivering him into D'Amour's hands. Then the fold happened.

A moment of disorientation passed on the ship as everyone felt as though they were turned inside out for a brief second. Then the feeling passed, and all of those that could had a view outside could see the ship was now in the middle of a large lake. Mountains were seen in the distance to the north. One in particular caught the attention of all of those that could view it. The mountain was surrounded by at least five huge columns of flame that reached out thousands of feet high to the skies.

Kawada paled as he allowed his sense to stretch out to the area around them. It took him nearly a moment to piece together what was happening.

"This whole area is a giant focus," he said in awe. "And the center of it is there." He pointed to the mountain.

"Do you have any idea what mountain that is?" D'Amour asked.

"It's Mount Phoenix."

The captain turned in surprise to see Cologne standing before him, with Shampoo at her side. He had not heard their approach. "What does it mean?"

Cologne stared off into the distance towards the mountain. "It means this is what the Musk have been protecting, and it's up to me to find out what that is." She hopped to the top of her staff. "It's time to gather up the children. We're going on a little trip to Mount Phoenix."

Shampoo remained behind, unable to move. One sentence kept going through her mind, repeating itself like a mantra.

'If you go to Mount Phoenix you will die.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Madame Lao is a creation Jim Robert Bader (aka Shadowmane) and hails from A Very Scary Thought (Nabiki 1/2) and is part of the Altered Destinies found on Wade Tritschler's webpage (the URL eludes me at the moment. but Wade's email is:  
tritscwa .ca

Special Thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Robert Bader  
Bloodblade  
Ben Follis  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Dr. Wade Tritschler


	36. Those Who Would Dare Dream of Tomorrow III

Prologue

The Shogun of the Dark would have magically augmented his voice to project hundreds of miles away if there had been any magical energy to spare. There were only five hours left until the completion of the spell. Then, after five thousand years, the one thing he had waited for in all that time would at last come to pass.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 36

Those Who Would Dare Dream of Tomorrow III

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

~

Bloodblade has also given it a home at:

tokyo/towers/5920

Icefall's page had a great page Ninja Scroll page featuring the Eight Devils of Kimone. It's at:

NinjaScroll

Standard disclaimer: All Ranma 1/2 stuff belongs to the Goddess Takahashi. Ninja Scroll characters belong to someone else too.

An alternate universe:

The really condensed version. Shampoo fell into The Spring of Drowned Young Man at the same time Ranma fell into the Spring of Drowned Young Woman. Shampoo traveled to Japan with Ranma, and the things went from there. Last chapter, TWPOS used the SDF-3's fold generators to make a fold to China. They ended up located next to Mount Phoenix, where the Shogun of the Dark is only a short time away from completing his mysterious spell, which will entail the fate of the world. Now it is up to Ranma and company to prevent the Shogun from his achieving those plans within the next five hours. But the Shogun's bodyguards, the Eight Devils of Kimone, are ready to defend those plans no matter what it takes...

This Indicates Chinese  
{} indicates telepathy

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-5:00:00

"Great Grandmother, are you certain it's necessary for us to go to Mount Phoenix?"

Cologne carefully examined her great granddaughter. "I would think that you'd be overjoyed at having another delay on our way home. We are almost out of time." She looked the ship over. "I can't believe they discovered a way to move something this large instantaneously. This may very well have doomed you."

"I might be doomed no matter what I do," Shampoo murmured under her breath.

Cologne raised an eyebrow at that statement. Had Shampoo's will finally been broken by her circumstances? Was she ready to give in to death so easily? "What do you mean?"

Shampoo gave a smile. "Nothing. It's just that this is all so unexpected. That's all."

The smile was forced, Cologne could clearly see that. What was Shampoo hiding? "You're not telling me evr- "

"Look!" Shampoo pointed to the land touching the lake. "There are two of our sisters approaching."

Cologne followed Shampoo's hand. Sure enough, it appeared that two Amazons were cautiously advancing towards the ship. The pair were far from home, leaving Cologne to wonder if it was a long range reconnaissance patrol. They would no doubt have some up to date information, which would help the matriarch decide her immediate course of action. "We will talk later," Cologne assured Shampoo as she went to greet the new arrivals.

Shampoo happily nodded and walked away, leaving her great grandmother to talk to the two scouts. Despite the foretelling Shampoo had received, going to Mount Phoenix was no choice at all. True, Mr. Domino, a highly suspect individual, claimed she was destined to die there if she went, but what difference would that make? If she refused to travel to Mount Phoenix then she would have to go back home immediately, which meant death as well. Perhaps it was her destiny to die in the near future, and if that was the case she would rather take the unknown path than the one that would lead to shame for her and her family.

Besides, Mr. Domino could have been lying.

Really.

With that decided, Shampoo felt her mood ease somewhat. Instead of the apprehension she had felt over the last couple of days, there was a sense of relief, as though she had released some kind of burden that she had been unaware of carrying. It was a curious sensation, all things considered.

Her great grandmother was going to decide on what course of action to take, which meant Shampoo was going to have to move quickly before leaving to confront the unknown. She hurried down the corridors of the ship and paused in front of a particular door.

Shampoo knocked lightly on it. "Kasumi." She heard a retching sound, followed by a weal, "Enter," from within.

Shampoo did and watched as Kasumi emerged from the bathroom, wiping her mouth with a damp washcloth.

"What's wrong?" Shampoo asked.

Kasumi finished cleaning before explaining. "When the ship made that odd jump, it upset my stomach. I'm afraid my breakfast came back up."

"Lie down." Shampoo indicated the bed. Kasumi sat, but remained upright, refusing to lay back. Once Shampoo made certain the eldest Tendo daughter was all right, she tried getting to the reason she had visited.

"I...I just wanted to apologize for my behavior the last few months," Shampoo explained.

Kasumi gave a baffled look. "What behavior?"

Shampoo felt her heart fall more than a little now that she was going to openly admit her wrongdoing. "For leading you on. I never meant to hurt you. Please believe me. I was confused. I didn't know how I felt about Ranma, you, everything. And in my confusion I hurt you. I implied things that might have made you think we would be..." she was at a loss for words, not knowing how to say what came next.

Kasumi continued staring in a puzzled manner at Shampoo. "You never led me on."

"Yes, I did," Shampoo insisted.

"No, you didn't," Kasumi corrected. "You just said you were confused about your feelings. How could you have led me on if you didn't know your own heart?"

"But I hurt you."

Kasumi shook her head. "You've never hurt me. Not once. You've been one of the kindest and sweetest people I have ever met. I've never felt sorry about anything we've done."

"What about the things we shared, like on that weekend?" Shampoo pointed out. "You don't call that leading you on?"

Kasumi became very serious. "Shampoo. I was the one who asked you to extend the weekend. And afterwards, when you suggested that we should try to make a relationship, I was the one who refused you. I was too worried about the problems we might have had trying to do something like that. If anything, I might have been the one who led you on."

"No!" Shampoo shook her head vigorously. "You never did that."

"Good. Now that that is settled, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Shampoo insisted.

"You seem very sad. Does it have to do with your people? Are you worried about what might happen now that you're home again?" Kasumi placed her hand on Shampoo's shoulder. "I'll do anything I can to help."

Shampoo rested her hand on Kasumi's. "There's nothing you can do. There's nothing anyone can do. Thank you for everything." She embraced Kasumi in a warm hug, placing all of her emotions into that all too brief contact. That would not be too much female affection for Kasumi. After several moments Shampoo gave up the embrace, then made her way to the door.

"Shampoo," Kasumi said just as the Amazon opened the door.

"Yes?"

"You really love Ranma, don't you?"

Shampoo gave her friend a hurt look. It still bothered her to say such a thing before Kasumi. "Yes. I do. I love you too. It's more than just friendship, but it's different in a way I can't explain. I'm sorry."

"Why should you be sorry? There's nothing wrong with being in love." Kasumi gave a bright smile. "I'm happy for you. If he chooses you I hope you both have a wonderful life."

It was sincere, that was the worst part of all. Shampoo could tell Kasumi was being totally honest. The purple-haired Amazon was nearly overcome with grief. "How can you be so forgiving of me?"

Kasumi just continued smiling. "Because there's nothing to forgive, so please stop thinking there is. It's just going to make you unhappy, and I don't want you to be miserable. There's not a single thing that has happened since I met you that I would have changed between us. Not one thing."

Kasumi got up and moved next to Shampoo. She looked down at the smaller girl for a moment, then kissed her lightly on the lips, just for a brief moment. Kissing a girl wasn't as horrible as she thought it would be. "Thank you for everything."

Shampoo appeared surprised by the move, then embraced Kasumi once more before leaving. "Thank you for everything too."

Kasumi watched Shampoo head down the corridor and out of sight. There was something vaguely disturbing about Shampoo's entire behavior. There had been an overwhelming feeling of finality about it. Kasumi went back in her room and recalled all that had happened between Shampoo and her over the months. So much had changed in so little time.

She was considering approaching Cologne again to see if the elder had come up with any ideas for helping Shampoo, such as sending someone to Jusenkyou to retrieve some magic girl water, when her stomach began rumbling once more. It was odd how she had been having problems keeping down her breakfasts lately. It could have been motion sickness, but it had happened two times earlier in the week. Perhaps it was a virus and she was having problems shaking it off. In any case there were more important things to worry about than some nasty bug. The problem would no doubt go away in time.

3:49:15

It was an hour later when Cologne summoned everyone to the foredeck. All of the Amazons, the command staff of the ship, and the Nerimans, save Happosai (who was counting his new stash of underwear) and Tsubasa (who was avoiding Perfume at all costs), were present for the discussion.

It was a good thing the scouts had stumbled on the ship when they did. With their knowledge of recent events, Cologne now had some faint inkling to what might really have been going on. The weather had become irregular only in the last three days, and the pillars of fire had formed just the day before. Between Herb's threats and Kawada's declarations, it was obvious something big was happening at Mount Phoenix, and Cologne needed to know what was going on now. With any luck she might even be able to put a stop to it before things got any worse.

She could not help but feel something was about to happen. Something terrible. There was an enormous amount of power radiating from the mountain, power that even she could sense from the great amount of distance. It felt as though things might have been reaching a climax, and she seemed to be the only one in a position to stop it. Herb was obviously waiting for something, or else he would not be keeping his army so far away from the mountain.

In a way, it was fortunate the ship appeared where it did. According to the scouts, Cologne was now positioned on the farthest flank of Herb's army. Once she and the others got around it they would have a clear path to Mount Phoenix. All that was needed was to recruit the necessary 'volunteers'.

Cologne took the time to look over the gathering one last time. All of the Nerimans had found outfits that would be suited for battle, almost as though they sensed what was to come. There was more raw potential spread out among the group than she had ever seen in her life. Too bad she couldn't use all of it, but what she was going to take along would have to do.

"I have summoned you all here for a purpose," Cologne announced to everyone, making certain no one was distracted. "It has come to my attention that we are all in great danger. Someone, perhaps the self-proclaimed Emperor Herb, has done something to the area around Mount Phoenix." She indicated the mountain in the distance. "Mr. Kawada informs me it is some kind of focus."

"A focus for what?" Ranma asked.

Cologne stared at the mountain as she answered. "I'm not sure, but I intend to find out. Whatever it is, it can't be good." She turned away from the spectacle of the mountain and returned her gaze to the group. "This is why I have requested your presence. I want some of you to come with me."

Perfume stepped forward and gave a flourishing bow. "Honored Matriarch, we will be happy to help you." All of the other Amazons nodded in agreement.

"You will not be coming. The only Amazon I am taking will be Shampoo."

Immediately a low rumble broke out from the Hunt Pack. Perfume was quick to silence them, then turned back to Cologne. "If I may be so bold as to ask, why? Have we somehow failed in your eyes?"

Cologne gave her a solemn stare. "No. You have succeeded in forging an effective unit beyond anyone's expectations. The problem comes from Herb. He has stated that if the Joketsuzoku attempt to go to Mount Phoenix, there will be a war between our peoples. Even though we would be victorious, the price we would pay in blood would be too great. However, there is a simple solution around that threat. One that should effectively protect our people." She turned to look squarely at Ranma. "I would have these others assist us."

"Sorry. I don't see how this concerns me. Not interested," D'Amour said.

"I didn't mean you!" Cologne snapped. "I meant the rather eclectic group of Japanese that have chosen to travel with us. Some of them, anyway."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with the walking libido," Ai commented. "Why should we risk our lives?"

"I think this does concern you. Whatever is happening at the mountain is affecting the weather in Japan, and that is only the first event to occur. I'm almost certain that more and greater troubles are sure to follow."

"I'm in," Ranma declared. It was an easy choice for him. Shampoo was going and there would be trouble. Protecting her at the village or at some weird mountain made no difference. He would be at her side.

"That's my boy!" Genma declared proudly. "It's the duty of a martial artist to protect his country."

"Thanks for volunteering to come along, Pop." He tried his best to imitate his father's voice. "You are a martial artist, after all."

Genma began to stutter nervously when Cologne saved him from resorting to groveling. "The fat fool will stay. I don't intend for the group to be too large and attract unwanted attention. Where is the ghost sweeper? I wanted to take her along."

Akane moved forward slightly, appearing depressed and angry at the same time. "She's in some kind of magical slumber. No one knows how to wake her up. It's all the fault of that guy in the black robes who knocked me out. If I ever get my hands on him he's dead!"

Cologne sighed. She had really wanted Minami along. With her powerful magical abilities she would have been almost as valuable as Ranma. There was nothing she could do about it now though. Time was growing short. "We'll just to have go without her. So, the group shall now consist of myself, Shampoo, Ranma, Ryouga, Mousse, Ukyou, and Tarou."

"Forget it," Tarou scoffed. "I'm not helping you. I don't have any reason to go."

"I'm not going to be left behind. I'm going too!" Akane shouted.

"Very well," Cologne assented. She was amused to see Tarou give Akane a surprised look, then level a scowl at Cologne.

"Now I have a reason. I'll go," he reluctantly sighed.

Within moments others began demanding to go along. Kodachi for Mousse. Ai for Ukyou. Kyoko for Ryouga. Kunou on the principle that such lovely young ladies could not be allowed to go without his protection. All of that had been anticipated, if not desired, by the matriarch. It was a surprise when Cologne saw Aki move next to Ryouga.

"You're in luck," Aki pointed out. "It's two members of the Hibiki clan for the price of one today."

As Aki finished her remark, the round of protests that Cologne had expected came from the concerned parties that were going, which in turn brought on stronger insistences from those that demanded to be included.

Cologne quickly weighed her options. Disabling all that wanted to tag along was too difficult and would anger too many. All of the additions were a capable lot, if inferior to the ones that were originally chosen, except for the bandanna-clad Yoshida girl. There was a great deal of untapped potential there. It would be simpler to allow them to come along, although that meant the chances of slipping through Herb's battle line were practically non-existent. Some modifications to the plans were going to have to be made.

Cologne was about to give her permission when Perfume came forward and bowed. "Honored Matriarch. I am still under orders from the council to see Shampoo to our village. I would insist you allow me to come along so that I may personally take responsibility for Shampoo. Should anything happen, I would be the only one who would take blame."

Cologne slowly nodded her head in agreement, the look in her eyes communicating to Perfume she understood why the young warrior was behaving in such a manner. The elder made certain no others tired to come along, then agreed to allow those that had volunteered to travel with her. With that out of the way, those that had tried to protest additions lost their arguments.

Cologne turned to Sparrow and told her of the group's plans to be passed on to the village council, along with other tasks that should be done in her absence. One splash of cold water later and Sparrow quickly flew in the direction of her home.

While Cologne made last minute preparations, Perfume gathered Cabinet and Julep to her side and began instructing them in what she expected from them in her absence. "Cabinet, you're in charge now. Julep is your second-in-command. I'm confident you can handle the job."

"I won't fail you." Cabinet saluted Perfume, while Julep simply nodded her head in agreement.

Cologne walked over to the Hunt Pack. "I am probably going to run into trouble when my group makes their way past the Musk lines. We'll be cutting across the farthest point on their left flank, that means they might try to send reinforcements. There's only one direction they can come from that might bother me. I want you to delay their progress."

"We won't fail you, Matriarch!" they cried out in pride and saluted as one.

Cologne gave them a curt nod of approval and moved back to the group of martial artists. "There is one other we need to bring along. I'll need a bra."

Ai somehow managed to remove hers, in one smooth motion, without taking off her cheerleader outfit. Cologne held the garment out on the end of her staff, waving it gently like on odd white flag.

"Here it comes," she murmured. A moment later a red blur appeared and snagged the brassiere. Cologne timed the blow precisely and struck the blur hard, knocking it into one of the nearby walls.

Happosai pried himself out of the wall and shot Cologne an accusing glare. The impact of the blow told him that she had used far more force than was necessary. "Hey! What was that for?!"

"I needed to get your full attention. Something serious has come up and we need your abilities."

Happosai considered what she said. Having Cologne unashamedly admit she needed his help was an event that, if one was lucky, happened once in a decade, or even longer. "It's got to do with that mountain over there, doesn't it?"

She should have known the diminutive pervert was already aware. The level of power Mount Phoenix was emitting was enough for Happosai to easily notice it. "Yes. Something dangerous is happening over there and we need all the help we can get, and that means you. If you still have what it takes, that is."

Happosai practically bristled at the implication. "Of course I still got it! I'll come along, but only on one condition."

Cologne let out an exasperated sigh. "What is it?"

"I want pictures of every cute girl that's going on this trip in sexy lingerie, and that includes Ranma."

Thirteen cries of outrage came from the group.

Happosai eyes began to tear. "How can you deny an old man what might be his final wish? These tired old bones might not be able to take much more travel, and this might be my final chance to appreciate the finer things in life."

"Isn't there something else you want?" If Cologne had a wish, she would have used it then and there.

"No."

Cologne recognized the signs; he was going to be adamant about his price. She let out an even bigger sigh, then turned to the group. "He's not going to budge on this one, and I believe that we really need his help where we are headed. It's up to you, but his abilities might make the difference between life and death for some of you."

All of the members of the group looked to one another. No one could deny a feeling of dread was building as they considered setting out the trip. Perfume was the first to reluctantly nod her head. Others began to follow suit. The final one was Ranma. He gave one last look to Akane and Shampoo, then nodded his head.

"But we better end up really needing his help. If you're wrong about all of this, old ghoul, and it turns out we don't have to fight nothin' tougher than a bunch of girl scouts, you ain't ever going to hear the end of it out of me."

"Boy," Cologne said as she stared Ranma in the eye. "I hope I am wrong and I don't hear the end of it from you."

Happosai rocketed up close to a hundred feet in the air for joy, throwing Happodairkins high in the air like a display of fireworks. "WOO HOO! I've finally hit the jackpot!" He landed and stared at Mount Phoenix as he bounced around in joy. "Just you wait, you rotten bunch of punks. The greatest martial arts master in the world is coming, and you're all that stands between him and true happiness! Let's get going everyone! I can't wait!"

Somehow, everyone felt worse than ever as they set out towards Mount Phoenix. Even if they won, they were going to lose.

3:20:46

Mint and Lime were playing cards when they heard the explosions just to the northeast of their unit. Each one looked at the other.

"Was there an explosion scheduled for that area?" Lime asked.

Mint pulled out a sheet of paper and read it over. "Nope."

"We'd better investigate. Herb won't be happy if something bad happens now. Round up half of the troops and get ready to move out. I want to leave some behind just in case it's a trap."

"Good thinking." Mint did as Lime asked. If there were any problems this late in the plan, Herb would go ballistic. He said today was the last day, then all of them could relax and Herb would be made emperor. Mint was looking forward to the vacation. Running an army was hard work.

3:13:00

Perfume walked through the wasteland of devastated troops the group had left behind. The poor fools never had a chance, not even that commander that had the magic sword. Most of the soldiers had been normal mercenaries with no special abilities, and the handful that had some skill in fighting were hopelessly outclassed. They had only outnumbered Cologne's group nine to one, making it child's play to disable the lot of them. Now if only additional reinforcements did not come, the rest should be easy.

2:40:34

Julep was standing on the top of the hill, looking to the southwest. From the sound of the loud explosions to the northeast, there was no way the troops they had spotted to the south had not heard the noise. Unless they were led by complete morons, any reinforcements were already en route to the area where the army had been hit. It would only be a matter of time.

Within five minutes Julep sensed that she had been correct. A scent of sweat and steel drifted from the southwest and she saw one man emerge from a grove of trees about a half mile away. Assuming the troops were right behind him, they were heading through the pass between the two rather high hills on their way to help their comrades, right where the group of Amazons were lying in wait. It was an ideal place for an ambush. A good strategist, like Perfume, would send scouts to make certain the way was clear. The questions were how large was the contingent that was coming and how smart were the military commanders at the head of the reinforcements. If they had any degree of intelligence, it was going to be difficult to delay them for long. If they were stupid, then the Amazons might be able to break them up and force them away long enough that it would not matter if they got past or not.

Sgt. Sheng looked towards his 'commander,' Lime. "Sir, that pass is a perfect place for an ambush."

Lime looked the hills over. "I agree. Who do you think we should ambush?"

Cpl. Chang watched Sgt. Sheng's reaction. "That's the third time today you facefaulted, sir. If you aren't careful you're going to hurt yourself."

"I can't help it," Sheng moaned. "I'm serving under a total moron. Right now I hope we do get jumped and captured. Being a prisoner would be preferable to serving under him." Sheng bolstered his patience and explained to Lime that he meant the army might be ambushed.

"I see," Lime said sagely. "I'll send Mint to make sure there isn't one."

Mint rushed forward and covered the half mile to the small pass in under thirty seconds. It seemed very simple to him. If there was an ambush waiting, he would spring it when he entered the pass, so he entered the pass and waited to be attacked. No. Nothing. For good measure he shouted, "Is there anybody here that is going to ambush my troops?!" Silence was all that greeted him. That was all it took to convince him the pass was clear. He ran back to Lime to tell him it was safe.

Once Mint was out of sight, Cabinet raised herself up from her hiding spot. "Do you think that was some sort of trap to get us to let down our guard?" she asked Julep.

"No. That was my cousin, Mint. From what I hear he's about as smart as Sage."

Cabinet scratched her head. "Isn't that the guy that just sits in the center of the village and hits himself in the head with a metal skillet for pennies?"

"Okay," Julep relented. "Mint's more stupid than that."

"Oh," Cabinet said. "They're going to walk right into the ambush, aren't they?"

"I think so."

As the military contingent entered the pass, Mint once again ran at the head of the column. Lime was second, followed by a rather demoralized number of soldiers, about eighty total.

Cabinet whispered to Julep. "I'll take the big guy in tiger skins."

"Mint's mine," Julep hissed. "It's about time I showed him who the leader of our pack is."

Cabinet rose from her position and gave out a rousing battle cry; the signal for the trap to be sprung. Nearly twenty Amazons leaped from their ambush positions and fell upon the flanks of the column, each warrior taking down two men apiece before the soldiers could even react.

Lime shot an accusing glare towards Mint. "I thought you said this pass was clear!"

"Well, I though it was." Mint was about to say something further, but was interrupted as he barely ducked out of the way of a green and brown blur that nearly took his head off. He backed off from the attack and drew a metal blade from his belt. Ever since he lost his hand to Shampoo those many months back, he'd covered the stump with a metal ball. It itched incessantly, but it did provide one advantage: it made an excellent place to attach a weapon, and he proved the point by slamming the long blade into place.

Julep gave Mint a feral grin as she drew her set of cat's claws. "Hello there, Mint. I've been waiting for a chance to meet you. Let's find out who the fastest member of our family really is."

To Lime, it appeared that two blurs began to race along the pass and beyond, as the sound of metal striking metal began to fill the air. Neither Mint nor Julep wanted any interference in their duel for supremacy.

Lime was about to shout something when a war hammer struck him in the sternum. He fell backward from the tremendous impact and barely rolled out of the way of the follow-up attack that was aimed at his head. As he got to his feet he was driven back again by a second blow, then a third. Quickly he found himself losing ground as his opponent began driving him further away from the rest of his troops to the opposite side of the pass from which the army had entered.

At last he finally got a good look at his opponent as he caught his breath. It was a large girl, larger than any he had seen, that was attacking him. She was so tall she almost came up to his neck, and her shoulders were three quarters as big across as his. He didn't have time to size her up further as she used her war hammer once again. The swing was off, and he managed to easily duck under the attack and connected with a right to her jaw. Her head snapped back for a moment before returning to its regular position. She shook it once, then glared at him as a trickle of blood ran from her lip and down her jaw. Her fist lashed out connecting with Lime's own head.

Lime shook off the effects of the shot as well. "Nice punch."

A kick to the stomach doubled him over. "Better kick." She raised her hammer high overhead, and was about to bring it down, when Lime's hand shot up just as Cabinet arced the weapon downward. He brought his fist into her head again, then followed it up with a raking strike to her chest. Some of the material caught between his fingers and tore away as her body went sailing several feet. She managed to raise her head up several inches, then crashed down upon her back once more.

Lime caught his breath as he moved to finish his opponent off. She really was a very powerful foe. Almost as strong as Ryouga, and just as dangerous. He raised his fist to the sky and was about to bring it down when something about Cabinet caught his eye.

Her breasts. When he had struck her chest the large patch of material that came off was from right down the center of her outfit, exposing her chest to the world. Lime took one look at them and drew back, stunned. Quickly he darted his head around, looking like a child about to take a cookie from the cookie jar, making certain no one saw him. Both he and Cabinet had moved far enough away from the fight that none of the Amazons or his troops could see him. He was effectively alone. Nervously he twiddled his fingers, and after checking once again to make sure no one was around to watch, bent down to touch Cabinet's breasts. His touch was gentle at first, just a simple feel. They were smaller than Herb-chan's, but more firm. Feeling pretty sure of himself he fondled them again. Yes. They were definitely more firm. As he handled them, he discovered that he enjoyed touching them a lot more than Herb-chan's, though he could not say why. Lime was still smiling to himself, delighting in the feel of the breasts, when a war hammer found its way between his eyes. He growled in pain as he got to his feet and tried shaking off the effects of the blow.

Cabinet tried moving her shirt around to cover herself as she got to her feet, the look of blood in her eyes. How dare the oversized fool grope her like that! She was going to shatter his skull for daring to molest her in such a manner. It was not as though he was her...

She brought her hand to her forehead as she realized what had happened. The fight with Lime had unquestionably been one-on-one with no outside interference. He had beaten her fairly, which meant one thing.

Lime shook off the last effects of the blow and saw Cabinet was standing right next to him. He drew back to strike her when she looped her arms around his neck, stood up on her toes, and kissed him full on the lips.

She broke off the kiss. "Beloved husband. I love you."

Lime just stood there for a moment, then began giggling. "That was a kiss, wasn't it?"

"Of course it was." Cabinet stared at him in confusion.

Lime giggled some more. "I liked that. Touching your breasts is a lot better than touching Herb's. He always hits me when I do that. I like kissing much better than being hit."

"I see." Actually she had no idea what he meant by touching Herb's 'breasts', and had no desire to learn. "Haven't you ever been kissed before?"

"No." He switched from giggling to just grinning sheepishly at his new wife. "I've never been around women before."

Cabinet considered that. Could he possibly be telling the truth? Was she the first woman he had any contact with? Looking him over, she realized he was quite handsome, and larger than her. One of the things she had been afraid of when growing up was that she was too large, which meant she was going to end up with a husband she could only look down to, and who would be too small to hold her in his arms. It was quite the pleasant surprise that Lime fit the criteria she wanted in an ideal man quite nicely. And it was quickly becoming evident he was totally inexperienced with women, as well as appearing to be about as bright as a brick. She could make him into a proper husband quite easily. Besides, there was something about his apparent childlike innocence which she found appealing.

"We're married now. Let me tell you what is expected of you as my husband. My name is Cabinet, by the way."

"Okay, Cabinet. But I got a question. Can we kiss some more? I really liked it."

Oh yes. There was something very appealing about his innocence. It was going to be a sad day when he lost it. "Of course we can. We're married now. We'll even have sex, eventually."

Lime scratched his head. "What's sex?"

Cabinet saw she was going to have her work cut out for her. She was about to start explaining the facts of life to him when she saw Julep herding an obviously beaten Mint to where they stood, shoving him forward as they approached.

"Keep moving, Lefty," Julep said as she shoved him once more.

"My name's not Lefty."

Julep snarled at him, causing him to bow his head. Mint's wolf heritage took control as he subconsciously followed his more dominant kinswoman.

"I take it you won?" Cabinet asked.

Julep gave a broad smile. "Naturally. It was close though. He was almost as fast as me. Almost. How did you fare?"

"Meet my husband." Cabinet looped her arm through Lime's, who just stood there with a stupid grin plastered on his face.

Julep took note of Cabinet's pleasure. Good. She liked her husband. Had Cabinet seemed sorrowful about her new status, Julep would have seen to it her friend became a widow in short order.

"Cabinet and I are married," Lime informed Mint. "She's going to let me touch her breasts, and I can kiss her. And we can have something called sex."

Mint turned to Julep. "Can we have sex too?"

"No!" She cuffed him on the head. "Even if we weren't family, you could never handle it. Instead you're going to work for me. It'll be much better than sex."

"It will be?" Mint asked.

"Trust me." Julep turned her head to where the Amazons had first ambushed the column. "The sounds of fighting have stopped."

Cabinet began dragging Lime along with her. "Let's go see if we won or not."

The four warriors turned the bend in the pass and saw the Amazons now had a number of prisoners nearly twice their size. Lin Fhall turned to report to Cabinet. "We didn't have any casualties, just a few minor wounds. Those spineless cowards broke ranks almost as soon as we hit them. A handful got away, but we captured the rest."

"Nice job," Cabinet commented. Perfume would be proud of the way they had performed. All they needed was for her to return and take her proper position as the leader of the Hunt Pack, then everything would be all right.

2:05:18

Gemma heard the voice of the Shogun boom in his mind.

{There are intruders in the perimeter! Stop them!}

After the Shogun let him know where the penetration had taken place, Gemma alerted the other Devils and set them out to stop the trespassers. He would remain behind in case someone else attempted to sneak into the mountain and interfere in the Shogun's plans.

Gemma found himself truly anxious for the first time since his release from his 'Golden Hell.' Japan was going to be his in a matter of hours. More than a lifetime's worth of dreams was but scant hours away.

Every second felt like an eternity.

1:49:49

Seven of the Eight Devils of Kimone gathered outside the main entrance to Mount Phoenix, preparing to set out for the south where their opponents were approaching.

"Can you feel it in the air?" the blind swordsman, Ututsu Mujuru, asked of his companions.

Yurimaru, master of electricity, nodded his head in agreement. "The time of our victory is fast approaching. This will be the last task we must do before attaining our heart's desires."

"I don't recall control over the heart of our leader being mentioned as a wish you could be granted," Zakura, the explosive member of the Devils taunted to her one-sided love interest. Her gibe was answered as Yurimaru raised his hand and a light wire sped from it, wrapping itself around her neck.

"You would be well served to curb your tongue, woman," Yurimaru warned.

"Look down at your feet," Benisato whispered in Yuriamaru's ear.

He refused to allow the surprise at her silent approach show as he turned his gaze downward. There were several snakes, poised to strike, curled at his ankles.

"That's enough out of all of you!" The hunchbacked form of the insect master, Mushizo, forced its way between the duo. "This is the dawn of the greatest moment mankind has ever seen, and we'll be the servants of he who aided in bringing about this new age. But all the two of you can do is cause us to fight amongst ourselves and risk losing everything. You fools! The only thing that can stop us now is ourselves!"

"It really would be ironic that this plan should fail because we turned on one another moments before victory." The voice that had spoken had come not from anyone visible, but from the shadows themselves as Shujima made his unseen presence known.

The deepest voice of the Devils spoke up, commanding the attention of all present. "I'm not one for pretty speeches and inspiring you to fight, but I do know that there are people coming here that need killing. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd rather spill their guts than yours." Tessai switched to his stone form as he turned away from the horizon where Ranma and the other were approaching, to looked towards his companions. "I'm going to think of this lot we kill as the prelude to something a lot bigger. Sort of like an hors-d'oeuvre before the main course. I think tomorrow, after we're ruling the world, I'll get around to depopulating someplace with a warm climate, maybe a couple of those south sea islands. I think I'll do Tasmania. No one would miss that." He began walking from the mountain and headed in the direction from which Ranma's group was approaching. "Besides, I like the name. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The other Devils watched Tessai head off in the direction of their opponents. The group seemed to come to a silent consensus and hurried off to do their last official duty as the mere Devils of Kimone.

1:48:05

Cologne was more than a little surprised by the silence that followed the group. After the defeat of the Musk forces there had been little bravado or commentary from the group. Even the usually verbose Kunou was quiet, not even trying to spout out some poetry. It seemed they could all feel the pall that hung over the area around Mount Phoenix. The feeling that there was something horribly wrong with everything around them permeated the air itself. It was the closest thing to fear Cologne had felt in nearly a century. Whatever was going on had to be stopped.

No matter the cost.

"Col-chan."

Cologne turned in surprise. Happosai had not called her by that name since his 'departure' from Joketsuzoku so many years ago.

As she looked at him she was amazed to see some of the old Happosai, the one she had admired before he allowed his perversions to overcome what sensibilities he possessed, make the first appearance she had seen in nearly a century. "What is it?"

"Do you ever feel sorry about falling in love with me?"

Cologne 'humphed' "It was never love. It was nothing more than a young, foolish crush from one that should have known better."

He gave her a sad look. "It was more than that to me, even if I did ruin it in the end. It was still one of best times in my life."

She was about to thank him when he continued on.

"Almost as nice as the times I had with that pretty young thing I met right after you. Her name was Chigusa, and she was the sweetest- "

*WHAK*

"Hey!" Happosai screeched, holding the spot where she had whacked him in the head with her staff. "What did you do that for?!"

"Because for one brief moment I almost felt sorry for you."

Surprisingly, he calmed down, then looked over his shoulder at the group. "I don't think they're ready for this sort of thing."

"I don't think we're ready for it," Cologne answered.

He considered that. "You might be right. Still, I would have liked to have had the time to give them a fighting chance."

"We can't always get what we want. Both of us understand that." She hopped over a large tree root that blocked the path. "Besides, they're more ready than you think. I believe they just might surprise you."

"Maybe," he relented. He looked strangely at Cologne, then cleared his throat. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Cologne shrugged. "That's all in the past. I don't think about it anymore." She jumped over another large root. "Besides, knowing you, there are plenty of things you're still going to do that will upset me."

Happosai just snickered in response. She still knew him better than anyone alive.

Ranma stared irritably at the two diminutive trolls that were leading the way. They seemed to be pulling farther ahead of the group as they got closer to Mount Phoenix. It damaged his pride that someone other than him was taking the lead going into a potentially dangerous place, but the two old ones had been correct. They were the individuals most capable of dealing with whatever dangers might be ahead of them. And Ranma still had Akane and Shampoo to look out for. Both of them were staying close to him, making watching them easy. On the downside, Tarou was staying close to Akane and glaring at Ranma the whole time. At least Pantyhose was keeping his arrogant mouth shut. Mousse was trying to stay close to Shampoo, but also seemed to be keeping an eye on Kodachi as well. Perfume seemed to remain close to Shampoo too.

Ranma spared a glance behind him to see that Ukyou, Ryouga, Aki, Kyoko, Kunou, and Ai had formed their own little group, traveling closely behind his. It was the largest collection of high level martial artists he had seen in his entire life. They would be able to handle anything that was thrown their way. As long as he was around.

He was still trudging along, trying to make out the ever-closer mountain through the forest, when he saw a brief flash of red from high in one of the nearby trees. His instincts took over.

"MOVE!"

Located high in the foliage, Zakura quietly spoke.

"Boom."

Two detonations erupted from the hidden explosives Zakura had left buried in the path. The explosion caught everyone in the first and second groups. Shampoo, the closest in her group to the explosion, took the worst of the detonation. It threw her through the air and into a tree, striking the back of her head and neck, and rendering her nearly insensate. All of that group was knocked off of their feet, save Ranma, who rolled with the explosion, and leaped up in the air, heading to the tree where he had seen the flash of red.

Kyoko found herself the primary recipient of the explosion near her. The pieces of metal and rock shredded a large portion of her outfit and legs, opening a series of deep cuts along them causing blood to flow from the variety of lacerations, and nearly rendering her unconscious. All of the others in the group found themselves hurled to the ground as well, but faring much better than their cheerleader comrade.

Aki was shaking her head clear when she heard the sound. "Is that an odd whistling noise I hear, or is it just that my head's ringing?"

Ryouga perked his ears up as he shook his own head free of the effects of the explosion. It wasn't just Aki that heard the whistling, Ryouga could hear it too. The noise was all too familiar to him. One did not forget the sound a weapon as unique as that made.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" He grabbed the girls nearest to him, the still stunned Ai and Ukyou, tucked them under his arms as though they were small children, and leaped high in the air.

Aki and Kunou stood up and stared at him for a moment. It was only the purest of chances the approaching weapon came from the direction Ryouga had been in. Both of the standing people saw the huge blur-like discus head towards them. They leapt over the giant spinning blade, barely missing it by an inch. The blade sliced through five trees and began a return flight in the same direction from which it had come. Much to Ryouga's horror, he saw that it was heading right towards the branches he had leaped to. He barely had time to jump out of the way once again as the tree he was standing on was reduced to kindling.

Aki recovered enough to see the whirring blade get snatched out of the air by a huge eight foot man with skin the texture of stone. Now that the weapon was stationary, she could see that it looked like two huge swords stuck together by the hilts. The weapon had to weigh two hundred pounds, at least.

"Fresh meat," Tessai said as he licked his lips and observed Ryouga land with Ukyou and Ai, who had at last recovered and gained their footing. He was going to have fun with his new playmates. It had to have been at least five days since he had killed anyone, and even a fool could tell you if you didn't kill regularly you could lose your touch. Besides, he recognized the bandanna-clad boy. The rematch Tessai had promised was going to happen even sooner than he had hoped.

Perfume got to her feet just in time to see several long black forms speed across the ground towards her. She was a blur with the naginta in her hands, slicing and slashing at the slithering things. As they stopped moving she identified them: snakes. Vipers of some kind, if she was not mistaken.

She was about to search for more of the serpents when a long pale ropy thing wrapped itself around her arms binding them together. Less than a second later she felt a second one wrap itself around her torso and around her neck. As the things stopped she realized what they were; the hands on the ends were the giveaway.

"I wonder what the sound of your neck snapping will sound like?" The soft feminine voice of Benisato said behind her.

Tarou and Akane saw the odd serpentine woman wrap her snake-like arms around Perfume. Each reacted differently as Akane lunged forward while Tarou spun around quickly, making certain there was no one to attack them from behind. Satisfied, he went to join his love when a claw of steel shot out from a shadow near a tree and sunk deeply into his shoulder, ripping into flesh and muscle. Tarou gave out a cry of pain as he felt the claw begin to be pulled back. As deep as the claws were into his flesh, a good portion of skin and probably some of his muscle was gong to be ripped off. Just as it started to retract, the pull was halted.

Akane had turned at the sound of Tarou's cry and in three strides covered the distance in-between them and grabbed the chain, halting the pull on it. She tugged on the chain, building up enough slack for Tarou to dig out the claw as she gave a mighty tug, hurling a gray form from out of the shadow of the tree. The force of the pull had been enough to send Shujima all the way to her, where she released the chain and buried her right fist into his stomach. Shujima leaped back, retracting his chain as he retreated.

Tarou and Akane turned to face their opponent. Shujima gave an amused smile before crossing his arms. Suddenly there were twenty identical versions spawning from the original, one flowing into the next. Neither Akane not Tarou could tell how many, or which, were the real ones.

Kunou had regained his balance and had his bokken drawn, his eyes searching for a foe.

"My name is Ututsu Mujuru. I would challenge you to a duel."

Kunou turned to see a tall Japanese man, wearing an old style of white robes that indicated he was a fighter. That and the drawn sword at the man's side told Kunou all he needed to know. The would-be samurai's heart quickened as he sensed the nature of the duel. This was the sort of thing he had lived his entire life for.

Kunou raised his bokken in salute. The man, despite having his eyes shut, did the same. As Mujuru prepared to go forward, he sensed something unusual about Kunou's weapon. The scent of teak drifted towards him.

"You use a wooden sword?" he asked.

Kunou gave a smug smile in return. "Whether wood or steel, a weapon of Tatewaki Kunou can cut through trees as though they were butter. You possess no advantage over me due to your weapon."

Mujuru bowed his head once more. He had heard of techniques which could harden one's weapon to a steel-like consistency. Truly he had found a worthy foe in this day and age.

They clashed, wood on steel, and began their duel.

Kodachi and Mousse searched around for a foe. Kodachi was still trying to shake her head free of the ringing sound in her ears. She had been too close to the explosion.

"Maybe we should help the others against that stone guy." Mousse pointed to Tessai, who was closing the distance between himself and Ryouga's group.

"Very well. I'm with OW!" Kodachi looked at her shoulder where the stinging sensation had come from. A wasp sat on her shoulder. It raised its stinger and plunged it in again. She swatted it, only to feel another one hit her in the backside. She smacked as she felt four more stings over various places on her body.

Mousse was confused by Kodachi's yelps and seemingly random slaps on her body, when he felt something sting him in the cheek. Reflexively he brought his hand up and smashed the bee that had stung him. He felt more stings from over other areas of his body.

"Hahahaha! My children seem to be having fun with you."

Both the master of hidden weapons and the martial arts gymnast looked in the direction of the laughter. It was a hunchbacked man, bearing a battle fork in his hands and possessing the compound eyes of an insect, standing about twenty feet away from the pair of them. What was of greater concern was the swarm of insects that surrounded him.

"This might be a problem," Mousse felt dread build as continued to swat at the growing number of stinging insects around him.

"Yes OW!" Kodachi swatted another one. "I see what you mean." Kodachi brought down her own fears as a thought occurred to her. She drew a medicine ball from her tights. As she threw it to the ground she gave silent thanks to Mousse teaching her a little about his art. She was able to hold more things than ever in her leotard without any outward sign that anything was there.

As the ball hit the ground a billowing cloud of smoke surrounded the duo. "Bees hate smoke, as I recall," Kodachi coughed out.

The stinging insects did appear to have been driven off for a moment, but the way the winds were blowing made it clear to Mousse the smoke screen would last only a few moments. He thought about their problem for a moment. "I have it!" He snapped his fingers and pulled out two gas masks and several aerosol cans from his robes. "This will take care of them. It's an extra-strength version I got to take care of those pesky bugs that were bothering the Ranma-Eating Plant."

As the smoke cleared, Mushizo once again set his 'children' after the pair. Neither of the duo made a motion to escape and their facial expressions were hidden behind the masks. It was confusing, but didn't matter to the Devil of Kimone. He sent his swarm of children after them.

As the bugs flew after the duo once more, they raised their spray cans high in the air and formed a cloud of green mist around them. As the bugs hit the cloud they seized up and hit the ground, dying instantly.

"Quick thinking, beloved," Kodachi said behind her mask.

"It was noth-" He barely got out of the way of the two-handed battle fork that was thrust in his direction.

Sensing his children were not going to be able to penetrate the cloud, Mushizo elected to take the fight to the pair himself. Both Mousse and Kodachi switched to more standard weapons and fought back against the repulsive hunchbacked man.

Ukyou held her spatula at the ready as the stone man approached the combined might of her, Ryouga, Ai, and Aki. The stone man didn't stand a chance.

"I'll go first!" and with that Ukyou ran towards Tessai. Much to her surprise, rather than making any move, Tessai just stood there and stared at her. She was more than halfway to him when she felt something tug at her spatula from behind. There was the momentary feeling of the hairs on her arms standing up...then pain as over seventy thousand volts of electricity shot through her.

The current lasted less than a half a second as a bandanna sheared through the metal wire that had wrapped itself around Ukyou's spatula. As the unconscious girl started to fall Ai was there, grabbing her before she could hit the ground

The lost one turned his attention to the scum that dared to attack his Uk-chan from behind. It was a feminine-looking man in long white flowing robes.

"Whoever the hell you are," Ryouga growled. "Prepare to d-"

"RYOUGA! MOVE!"

Ryouga moved reflexively at the sound of his cousin's voice, barely avoiding the giant blade Tessai had swung at him. Ryouga was off balance as the stone giant connected with a fist fully with Ryouga's stomach, sending him flying with enough velocity to shatter the boulder his body impacted with. Ryouga staggered to his feet. If it hadn't been for the Bakusai Tenketsu training he would have broken something for certain. As it was, he still felt like he had been through hell, or at least an hour long no holds barred fight with Ranma. The stone man had not been able to hit that hard the last time they fought.

Ai gently placed Ukyou on the ground and confronted her attacker, who was standing poised on some branches of one of the large trees. "I am going to kill you," she said softly as she brought a pompom to bear.

"PRETTY POMPOM ATTACK!" Tiny explosives shot out from the pompom and headed for Yurimaru. He moved almost too fast to be seen as he darted out of the way of the explosives, which blew up a good portion of the tree he had been standing on.

"You and Zakura should compare notes," he said as he shot a wire from his finger and toward Ai. The line never got to her as she hurled a baton at it, intercepting the wire and hopelessly tangling it. Yurimaru released the line as more explosives were hurled in his direction.

Ranma jumped from one set of branches to the next, approaching ever closer to his target. He was almost on top of the woman with the feathered cloak when he saw a flash of motion as several small objects seemed to launch themselves from her cloak and attach themselves to the tree branch he was about to land on. Just as his foot touched the wood, it erupted in a bright red explosion, sending splinters in all directions. With his landing point destroyed, he began a quick descent to the ground sixty feet below. Reflexes took over as he snagged a nearby branch with his right arm and used it like a single parallel bar, swinging around twice before using his momentum to shoot himself upwards once again. This time he took a different direction as he used the branches to draw closer to the woman's perch.

"Nicely done," Zakura said, the sound of appreciation in her voice. "Let's see how you handle this." Again the woman hurled a small spherical metal object, this time directly at Ranma. Using his superior mid-air combat abilities, he managed to change direction in the middle of a leap, avoiding the sphere as it passed to the right of him.

"You miss-"

The rest of his taunt was cut off Zakura's eyes glowed red and the aerial mine detonated. The shockwave hurled Ranma's body into the main trunk of the tree he had been next to. Zakura shifted weapons as she hurled several small non-explosive spikes at Ranma's motionless form.

It was only a combination of Ranma's persistence and speed that enabled him to pry himself out of the tree, allowing only one of the spikes to graze him across the cheek, drawing a small trickle of blood. His relief was short-lived as Zakura once again switched to an aerial mine and detonated it near Ranma. This time he was prepared for the attack and evaded the worst of the explosion. And thus began the deadly game of 'dodge ball' Ranma played with the insane living bomb burst that Zakura had become, getting ever closer to where she stood high in the branches of her gigantic tree.

Ryouga and Aki barely avoided another swing from Tessai's mammoth blade. The gigantic stone man had chosen to engage the two in close combat, trying to cut them in half as they continued to weave to and fro, narrowly avoiding evisceration.

"This is getting us nowhere," Aki complained as she avoided another thrust.

Ryouga cursed not having his umbrella with him. It was durable enough to withstand several of the giant double-sword's blows, and Ryouga might have even been able to disarm the man. Even with Tessai's increased strength, Ryouga thought he could take him. He and his cousin were trying to double team the big man, but he was too skilled with the sword to take more than the occasional light blow from one of his opponents. And all it would take was one misstep from either he or Aki, and Tessai would be down to only one foe.

Fate intervened as Tessai moved in for another swing and Ryouga's foot caught on a tree root hidden under some leaves. As he fell onto his back he saw that Tessai was already raising his weapon for the kill. Time slowed for him as out of the corner of his eye he saw Aki trying to get to him before the blade would connect. By Ryouga's estimation she would be a half-second too late. Ryouga couldn't take his eyes of the shiny steel as the blade began its descent towards his chest. Evidently Tessai was simply going to bury it directly into him instead of slashing and trying to go for a dismemberment.

The blade was no more than a foot above Ryouga's head when it paused. As the weapon was turned away Ryouga got a good look at Tessai, whose head was temporarily obscured by a pompom that had attached itself to his face. The opening was all that was needed for Aki to kick the blade out of Tessai's hand. He retaliated by smashing his fist into Aki's midsection, hurling her more than a dozen feet away.

Ryouga spared a glance in the direction of his first savior. Kyoko was lying on the ground, staring at Ryouga with eyes that pleaded for his well-being. He nodded his head briefly towards her, then got to his feet to confront Tessai.

"You're going to pay for that," Ryouga threatened, not with his usual boisterous voice, but in an even tone.

Tessai just grinned and threw a punch at Ryouga. The lost one ducked and connected with a punch into the stony hide of his opponent. Unlike in their previous battle, where such a blow had an effect, Tessai just smiled at his smaller opponent.

"I'm a lot stronger and tougher than the last time we met, and this time I won't go easy on you." Tessai raised both fists and brought them down towards Ryouga. Rather than trying to dodge the massive blows, Ryouga raised both of his arms and blocked the attack. A test of strength between the two erupted as they locked hands with one another and began pushing against one another. Tessai had the leverage advantage, but Ryouga was still slightly more powerful, despite the Devil's power boost.

Tessai thought he felt Ryouga start to give ground when Aki jumped up and landed on his shoulders, straddling his neck.

"And just what do you think you're doing, little girl?" Tessai growled.

"I just want to see if your head really is made out of granite. Aki Crusher Attack!" Aki got a firm grip on Tessai's head and began head-butting him in his skull.

He laughed at the first slam into his head. The girl was going to make things easy and knock herself out. After the fourth blow he admitted to being impressed with her resilience and wondered if he should take her alive to see just how much of him she could take before he killed her. By the seventh blow he felt a headache come on. By the tenth he felt blood start to run down in his eyes. It was unbelievable! She was shattering his nigh-invulnerable hide.

With a quick move he jerked out of Ryouga's grasp and flailed at Aki. Using all of his strength he barely managed to pry her off and hurl her away for a second time. She sailed through the air and ending up in a number of bushes. Ryouga was quick to follow up as he used his fists to hammer into Tessai's granite epidermis, slowly chipping away at the rock, wearing the stone Devil down.

Perfume felt the breath of Benisato on the back of her neck. As hard as she tried she could not get out of the coils wrapped around her neck and body. The breath was slowly squeezed out of Perfume's lungs and her vision began to darken as her air began to run out. She swore that dying in the arms of some weirdo misfit was not the way for a warrior of her caliber to go. If only she was able to get to her secret weapon, then she could make the snake woman pay.

Benisato thought she felt her prey's neck begin to snap when a hard object smashed her in the back of the skull. She uncoiled in a flash and jumped for the ground, barely evading a second blow from a bonbori that had been aimed for the same spot. Even as she began slithering away she caught sight of the purple-haired girl that had struck her from behind. Benisato summoned several snakes to try to kill the girl, even as the Devil retreated to recover her wits. The girl that dared to attack her would pay. Just later.

Shampoo stood guard over Perfume as she recovered her breath, the sword and single bonbori her friend had given her, wielded to fight off any others that would try to attack the duo.

Shampoo had just recovered her wits from the severe blow she had suffered when she was hurled into the tree. Her neck was still shooting signals of pain, threatening to slow her down, but she fought back against the ache and stood ready to take on any other attackers. She heard Perfume catch her breath, then watched in surprise as Perfume thrust her naginta forward and towards Shampoo. The purple-haired Amazon froze at her friend's action, then stared in shock as the naginta hit the ground. As the pink-haired Amazon brought the weapon back up, Shampoo saw a snake that was stuck on the end.

"Look out!" Perfume shouted out in warning as she pointed over Shampoo's shoulder.

Without looking Shampoo spun the sword as she pivoted around on her right heel, lashing out blindly behind her. The blind swing struck home, the viper that had been dangling from the tree branch above her was sliced neatly in half.

"Thanks," Shampoo gasped as both Amazons stood back to back and searched high and low for any other serpents that were poised to strike.

"Agh!" Tarou felt another rake of the metal claw as the twenty images of Shujima moved in to attack once more. He had already been cut badly six times, the deepest being a rake along his back, and try as he might he still could not find the real Shujima amidst the illusions. Akane fared no better, having been struck across the chest and legs in several spots. Tarou swore he was going to snap the shadow man's neck for daring to lay one hand on his woman.

Tarou threw another punch at an image, and again met nothing but air. It was absurd. How could he fight when he couldn't figure out who to attack? If only there was some way to sort out the real one from the fake.

Then the idea occurred to him. One of the masters he had trained under once taught him that one could not always rely on sight as the only method of targeting an attacker. The other senses were every bit as important as vision. It was his sight that was hindering him, so the best way to even the odds was to eliminate that liability. As Shujima backed off Tarou shut his eyes and tried to sort out the sounds around him. Chaos threatened to overwhelm his hearing, but he managed to sort out Akane's labored breathing and movements from the rest of the noise around him. That left only one other sound to listen for. The faintest rustling of leaves came to the left of him. It was too easy.

He struck out with his fist, connecting a glancing blow to Shujima's head. The images disappeared as the shadow man's concentration was shattered. Akane quickly followed up once the false illusions faded. She connected with a powerful kick that broke three of Shujima's ribs as his body went flying several feet away. Tarou and Akane moved in to finish their opponent, when Shujima's body seemed to sink into the shadow beneath the tree.

"Damn!" Akane and Tarou simultaneously cursed loudly.

Kunou brought his bokken high and blocked Mujuru's strike. It was the three hundredth blow that the sword-wielding Devil had made against Kunou. The young warrior struck out with the two hundred and eighty first of his attacks. Never had Kunou felt more alive than he did now. This had been the fight he had been waiting his entire life for. The exhaustion he felt in his muscles meant nothing as he brought his bokken in a sweeping arc at Mujuru. The blind one parried the blow.

Every true warrior knew that there was one man who he was destined to combat. One man who would help give definition to a warrior's existence. And when at last that single opponent, who would define that which a fighter was meant to be, was encountered, only then could one truly achieve victory. No one Kunou had fought before in the past excited him as Ututsu Mujuru did. To Tatewaki, it was almost as though the fight was a throwback to an era when true warriors strode the lands in search of the quest that made a man into unyielding steel. Something Kunou had never been able to find, not in any of those he had fought.

Until now.

No matter the outcome of the fight, Tatewaki Kunou, age seventeen, would be forever changed.

Ututsu Mujuru broke off his attack and turned his face to Kunou. "For the first time in my life I truly regret having to kill such a worthy opponent. You have mettle, young warrior. We should have met centuries ago as brothers. You I would have at my side."

"You speak of victory prematurely. Our fight is far from over." Kunou held his bokken before him.

"I disagree." Mujuru held his sword before him. As Kunou stared at the blade he saw the sun glint off the metal, or what he at least thought was the sun. As he stared at it a flash of light emitted from the blade itself, temporarily blinding Kunou. It was the opening Mujuru was looking for as he lunged forward with his blade.

It was a reflex that enabled Kunou to parry downward with his bokken and block the strike aimed at his heart. Mujuru's blade continued forward, Kunou landing a blow with his bokken into the man's side on the follow through of the block. Unfortunately for Kunou, Mujuru recovered from the parry enough to drive his sword though Kunou's upper left leg.

Mujuru withdrew the blade and leaped back to 'survey' the damage from the blow. He could smell the sweet tang of blood in the air, and by focusing his hearing, heard the blood flow from leg to the ground in a steady spurt. The femoral artery was cut; it was only a matter of time before Kunou would bleed to death. Mujuru decided he would deny such a skilled adversary from that slow agony and moved forward once more to administer the killing blow.

Kunou's bokken had fallen to the ground as he lay there and attempted to staunch the flow of blood from the wound. He was helpless. Just as Mujuru raised his sword to decapitate the wounded man, the Devil sensed an attack come from his left. The blade shifted directions in mid-swing, and was brought around to deflect the small objects that had been hurled at him. The acrid smell of burned flesh assailed Mujuru and his heightened sense of smell as he turned to the new fighter.

Ukyou Kuonji found herself barely able to stand, but she was damned if she was simply going to lay there while Kunou was beheaded. She just thanked all of her ancestors that Ryouga had sheared the wire when he had. That was all that had kept her from being fried to death. Unfortunately there had been enough amperage to hurt her more than a little bit, and she was finding it somewhat difficult to concentrate. Still, she would give her life if it meant helping her ally.

Ukyou drew her spatula and prepared to attack.

Mushizo drew back as more chains and ribbons came at him once again. His two opponents were proving nearly impossible to kill, and the girl's laugh was enough to set even a psychopath like Mushizo on edge. Too bad he could not use any more of his 'children'. The one with the glasses kept blasting them with his bug spray whenever there was more than a handful of them around.

Yurimaru ducked out of the way of the tiny explosives once more, splinters digging into his flesh as he wove to the left and shot out yet another wire towards Ai. The cheerleader easily dodged out of the way and threw a baton at Yurimaru's head. Their fight had gone that way from the opening moments: first one would attack and the other would dodge and retaliate, causing the first to dodge and initiate their own return attack. Back and forth they went with no clear way of knowing who the better between them was.

Zakura blasted another branch Ranma tried to leap upon. She gave the little jackrabbit credit; he could certainly dodge with the best of them, but at last he was running out of places to go. She blew up another cluster of branches one second too late to catch Ranma. He had managed to get close enough so that two more leaps and he would be within hand-to-hand range with her. Too bad she wasn't going to let him get the close. She was about to blow away the next branch he would jump up to when he did the unexpected. He dove back and downwards towards a lower branch a tree away. Zakura wondered if she had scared the boy off, not that it would do him any good in the long run. She was still going to blow him to hell.

She was admiring the grace with which he had made his leap, while simultaneously trying to estimate where to place her next explosive so she could blow him into tiny pieces, when her opponent formed a blue ball of energy between his hands.

Zakura had only a split-second to act before Ranma shouted out, "MOKO TAKABISHA!" and released a blue bolt of chi energy right at the branch Zakura was standing upon. The beam cut through the wood as though it were not there, and grazed her in the shoulder. The pain made her lose her concentration in the initial moments of her fall. She recovered just as she started to fall past the branch Ranma had landed on to arrest his own fall.

Zakura knew she could prevent herself from crashing into the ground, but had to take one last shot at the boy who had dared to draw blood from her. There was one trick she wanted to try. It was something she only recently learned she could do after her enhancement at the hands of the Shogun. She brought her hands together as black energy formed between them.

"DIE!" Zakura shouted as she fell past.

The black bolt of force, more powerful than any explosive she had ever used, headed straight for her opponent. Somehow she saw him get out of the way of the near-fatal and point-blank blast at the last second. The bolt blew clean through the trunk of the tree and three behind it. She was pleased to note the look of pain on her opponent's face as the force of the explosion sent him sailing far through the air.

It was time for Zakura to save herself. She brought her hands together once again and pointed at the ground, which was now no more than twenty feet away. She released the black energy directly beneath her, blowing up a good portion of the forest floor below and using the force of blast itself, as well as the effect it had on the ground, to slow her plunge and cushion her fall. Despite all of her efforts she still landed very hard.

As she painfully raised herself to her feet, she saw that Ranma too had recovered and was eyeing her cautiously from some distance away. Zakura afforded a glance to her fellow Devils and saw that all was not going as it should have. Too many of her allies were on the verge of defeat or being pressed on the defensive. And then there was that look of quiet confidence in the boy that was her opponent. That angered her more than anything. He should fear her! All should fear her! And she would make them!

"Devils! We are leaving!" And with that Zakura took off, leaping from tree to tree towards Mount Phoenix.

The other Devils paused briefly in their fights to considered what Zakura has said, and the way she had said it, and retreated from their battles, following in Zakura's wake.

"Let's get after them!" Aki snarled.

"Wait!" Ryouga shouted to halt her pursuit. "I need to check on Kyoko."

"Kunou's injured bad!" Ukyou shouted to the others.

Seeing his opponent and her comrades retreating, Ranma suppressed the urge to follow them and hurried over to Akane's side. He immediately noticed the cuts she bore from her fight with Shujima and began fawning over her, much to Tarou's irritation.

Perfume noticed what effect Ranma's attentions on Akane were having on Shampoo. "Hey! Stupid male! Shampoo's injured too! Not that an insensitive oaf like you would care!"

Ranma went through a gamut of emotions, from concern about Shampoo's injury to a "Hey! I'm not insensitive and at least I never tried to impale any of my friends!" remark directed at Perfume. He was trying to decide if he should leave Akane's side, while she glared at him for obviously considering leaving her to check out Shampoo, when Tarou began whispering in his ear about how Ranma's boyfriend needed help and how Tarou was more than capable of looking after Akane.

Perfume turned her back on the fight as she joined Kunou's side and saw the nature of his wound. Already he had nearly passed out from the blood loss, even with Ukyou using direct pressure on the cut. Perfume was about to do a further examination when she saw that the others, save Ryouga, who was fawning over Kyoko, and Aki, who was keeping an eye on the two of them, had joined her at Kunou's side.

Ai took over Ukyou's job of putting direct pressure on the wound, and ordered Ukyou to sit down until she could see what damage the voltage might have done to her chef. Perfume shook her head as she decided what would have to be done.

"We have to tourniquet the leg," she said as she took of her weapon's belt and began to wrap it on Kunou's leg as tight as she could and high enough that it would help arrest the flow of blood. She did not inform the others that unless he got medical attention quickly he was going to die.

"I thought that if used a tourniquet you would lose the limb it was tied on," Akane mentioned.

"He'll be lucky if he doesn't die," Tarou informed her. He had come to the same conclusion Perfume had. "The leg's gone no matter what he does."

Perfume nodded in agreement and finished wrapping the leg. Now all it would take was a lot of luck to keep Kunou alive long enough to get medical attention.

"Who goes back with him?" Ryouga asked.

"Sparing any one of us would cut down our odds of survival. The fight with those things was tough enough. Even if they don't have the advantage of surprise, we're going to be hard pressed to stop them. We'll need every bit of force we can muster."

Shampoo looked around and suddenly realized something. "Where is great grandmother and the little pervert?"

Ranma looked around as well. "Yeah. They didn't help in that fight at all."

Happosai and Cologne faded back to the visible eye.

"It looks like that idiotic technique you used for sneaking peeks in women's baths came in useful after all," Cologne commented.

"I can't believe we're running out on them like that!" Happosai shot back. Running like a coward was Genma's thing, not his.

Cologne turned in irritation to Happosai. "I like it even less than you do! That was my great granddaughter I left back there! But you and I both know those beings were nothing more than the second line of defense. No doubt things will get worse the closer we head to Mount Phoenix. The best way to protect the others is to find the one that is really behind all of this and take care of him. Crush the head of the snake and the body follows."

"I still don't like leaving so many cuties behind," Happosai lamented.

"I'm certain they miss you too. Now hurry! The longer we talk the more danger they'll be in!"

The pair continued on their way to Mount Phoenix, each hoping the children they left behind would be able to take care of themselves.

"That worthless old ghoul and pervert! I can't believe they'd duck out on us like that!" Ranma growled once more.

"If great grandmother left it was for a good reason," Shampoo's own words failed to convince her. Why had Cologne fled without even a word to Shampoo? Surely she had not abandoned everyone to the fates.

Perfume stood in the middle of the group and tried to take charge of the situation. "Those two have probably forgotten more about fighting than all of us put together have learned. Whatever the reason, I'm sure it was good. The problem is what are we going to do now? Someone has to take Kunou back before he bleeds to death on the ground."

"I'll do it."

All eyes turned to Kyoko. Her legs were covered in blood from all of the lacerations she had received from the initial explosion and she was having difficulty standing straight.

"I'd only slow you down, now. I don't want anyone to get hurt because I was holding them back or was a liability." She looked to Ryouga when she said that.

Kyoko's concern was mirrored by Ryouga. "But we can't leave you, you might get hurt."

"Unlikely," Perfume commented as she grabbed her naginta and made ready to leave. "She'll be heading towards the ship and away from Mount Phoenix. Those creatures that attacked us and the army are to keep people out, not in. If my sisters did their job, Kyoko shouldn't have any problems linking up with them. They can take care of Kunou from there."

"But she's hurt," Ryouga protested.

Ai waved him off. "Don't underestimate Martial Arts Cheerleading. I taught all of my girls to fight through pain, and I made them run endurance exercises with hundred pound weights strapped to their backs. She can handle it."

Kyoko gave a nod of affirmation directed to Ryouga.

Ryouga shook his head. "I can't let her go off like this!"

"Then go with her!" Perfume shot back irritably. "We're heading out now. Every moment we waste here gives those animals a chance to set another ambush for us." She turned to the direction to Mount Phoenix. "Whoever is coming along, we leave now."

The others watched Perfume head off in the direction of the mountain once more, then followed. Only Ryouga, Kyoko, and Kunou were left behind.

Ryouga looked hesitantly between Kyoko and Ukyou's dwindling form. He couldn't protect both of them, and he had made his choice.

"Go," Kyoko said.

Ryouga stared longingly at the group for a moment, then back to Kyoko. "I can't. You need me."

"They need you more than me," she said softly. "I'll be all right. Show some faith in me,"

Ryouga looked to the group once more. If they got out of sight, it wasn't likely he would be able to find them once more. "But-"

She pressed a finger to his lips. "Go. If anything happens to them and you weren't there, you're never going to be able to forgive yourself."

She was right. He knew it, even if he did not want to admit it. There was no choice to make

"Take care," he said, then in a moment of daring, moved forward to initiate a kiss. It was only for the briefest of moments, nowhere near enough time for him to even start a nosebleed. He then turned and rushed off to join the others.

Kyoko watched him go, then muttered under her breath, "You could have agonized over that a little longer." She smiled then, and touched her lips where Ryouga had kissed her. HE had kissed her. They almost had something resembling a real relationship. If only Ryouga was able to keep himself safe from harm.

She bent over, wincing in pain, and picked up Kunou. Waves of fire shot up from her legs as she placed him over her shoulder in a fireman's carry. Ai was correct in that under ordinary circumstances, Kyoko would have been more than able to carry Kunou the entire distance to TWPOS in little time, but with her legs torn up as badly as they were, it was going to take everything she had to get Kunou to help before he bled to death.

"Come on, put your back into it," she said, remembering how Ai would urge her onward in order to keep her going. It was going to be a long trip back.

1:20:33

Zakura paused in her flight and waited a moment for the Devils to catch up to her. She stood atop a small, green hill that allowed her to overlook the forest from which the group had emerged, several miles away.

"This had better be good," Yurimaru threatened. "We have to kill that lot before they get any closer to Lord Gemma."

Zakura stared at her shoulder, which had only just stopped bleeding. "They're all going to die, now!" she turned to Mujuru. "Where are they?"

Mujuru allowed his senses to stretch out once again. He sorted out the sounds of close to a dozen people making their way cautiously through the forest. "There." He pointed to where the group was located.

"Perfect," Zakura said under her breath. She then held her arms out, allowing her feathered cloak to float lightly back on a gentle breeze. "Feel my fire," she said, and with that a huge section of the forest where Ranma and the group had been suddenly erupted into a huge fireball.

The other Devils, save Tessai, shielded their faces from the wave of heat that washed over them as the effects of the blast reached their hill. Only Tessai watched the rising flames from his position on the hill, admiring Zakura's handiwork.

"What was that?" Benisato asked her partner.

Zakura laughed wildly, allowing the others to see the full madness that had taken root etched in her face. "Do you think I spent the last several weeks here simply sitting on my rear? I've been planting explosives throughout the entire area surrounding the mountain. What I just set off there was napalm." She ran her hands over her body as she felt on orgasm build from witnessing the conflagration that she had created. She had not had a chance to use many of the new explosives that she had come into contact with in the new age. There was no doubt in her mind she was going to have to burn several villages to the ground in the next few days and experiment with them.

By the gods, how she loved this century.

It was only a quirk of fate that had enabled Ranma and company to be as far away as they could be between two sets of the explosives. Zakura's inexperience with her new toy showed as the group ended up in one of the small spots where the flames failed to reach. That was not to say the group had escaped the effect of the blast. The whole party had been knocked to the ground, and the heat that had washed over them hurt immensely, but they had survived, for the most part, unharmed. The fact that the forest around them was suddenly on fire and they had no way of putting it out did not help either.

"What do we do?!" Ai called out as the flames drew closer. It became evident they were surrounded by fire, and it was drawing closer to the group.

Ryouga was more concerned about another. "Kyoko." He looked through a wall of flame in the direction he had left her. Without thinking he began to instinctively rush towards the place where he had last seen her.

Aki placed a restraining hand on his shoulder. "You're not fireproof, you dummy! You'll burn to death and never reach her!"

"I have to go!"

Aki saw the wild look in his eyes. The fool was going to try to go anyway. "Listen to me. If you try to get to her you are going to fail and die, and all you'll accomplish is leaving her to cry over your charred corpse. I think the explosions were confined to the area around us. She had a good head start and was heading in the opposite direction. She's all right."

"How can you know?!" he shot accusingly.

She looked him straight in the eye. "I've hung out with our demolitions expert a lot. I know what I'm talking about. I know she's okay."

"All right," Ryouga reluctantly admitted as he backed away from the wall of flames that was getting ever closer. If it had been anyone other than Aki, he would have disregarded the information and gone ahead anyway.

Aki was relived he turned away from the flames. She had lied through her teeth, and hadn't the faintest idea if Kyoko had survived or not. Aki hoped the cheerleader had, but even if Kyoko had not, there was no way she would allow her cousin to throw his life away in some senseless gesture of false heroism. She just prayed he would come to forgive her if it turned out she was wrong.

Tarou hit upon the solution immediately. "I can fly several of us out of here, but not everyone. Some of you are going to have to stay behind." And he had that list already chosen, with Ranma at the top. He could carry at the most five people safely in his arms. That meant Akane and four of the others. Tough luck about those that would remain behind.

"I can think of a way around that limitation," Kodachi said as she drew a ribbon and moved closer to Tarou, the circle of fire drawing in on the group by the second.

The Devils of Kimone stared at the bright orange flames before them. Only Gemma himself could possibly survive the inferno before them. The intruders had to be dead.

Yurimaru was about to turn away and report back to Gemma when he heard Mushizo gasp. The master of electricity turned to see in the distance a huge monstrosity emerge from the flames and slowly head up to the skies. It appeared to be a minotaur with wings. As it continued to rise up, Yurimaru was able to make out what appeared to be several people, dangling by some sort of cords, hanging from the bottom of it.

"I'll take care of this," Tessai growled as he drew back his mighty two-bladed sword.

Tarou-bull's wing already ached from the additional weight he was carrying. He would have been able to handle his additional passengers with ease under ideal circumstances, but one of Shujima's slashes had been at the exact spot where Tarou-bull's wings appeared. The muscle under that wing ached, and flying on his own would have been difficult enough, but with the extra baggage he had it made his flight slow and nearly impossible.

He looked down at the ribbon and chain that encircled his wrists. He hated to admit that Kodachi had figured out a good way to transport everyone, too bad. Dangling from one wrist was Kodachi, Mousse, Ai, Ukyou, and Ryouga. From the other, the important one to Tarou-bull, was Ranma, Aki, Perfume, Shampoo, and Akane.

He was looking towards Mount Phoenix, wondering if he had enough endurance to make it there without landing at least once, when he heard the whistling sound behind him. Instinctively he raised his flight path, narrowly avoiding the spinning blade that had headed towards him. Instead of slicing through him, the blade cut through the ribbon Kodachi's group had been on and flew on past. That was unfortunate, but it was impossible to grab all of them while Akane and the others were still being carried in his other hand. If he was to make any violent maneuvers, he might knock them, or more importantly, Akane, off. The falling ones were on their own. At least there appeared to be a river beneath them. Perhaps they would even survive.

While Tarou-bull listened to the others cry out in concern, he heard the whistling sound get louder. He looked up to see that damned spinning blade was coming back for another pass. He narrowly avoided the second approach, but this time it sliced through the ribbon holding Akane and the others. Tarou-bull panicked as he saw the love of his life start to plummet to her death. Without a second thought he dove for her, grabbing her by a leg and cradling her gently in his arms.

"Save Ranma!" she shouted.

Tarou-bull looked down at Ranma's plummeting form. Saotome had already built up a good bit of speed, and if Tarou-bull tried diving after him, especially with the condition of his wing, there was a better than fifty percent chance he would not be able to pull up in time and end up crashing into the ground below.

Besides, it was Fem-boy.

Tarou-bull shook his head at Akane. She just stared at him with wide eyes, then tried ordering him to do it once more. He refused, causing her eyes to tear up as she saw Ranma drop out of sight, with the others that had been on his ribbon, nearby. She tried squirming out of Tarou-bull's grasp, causing him to tighten his hold on her until they landed some distance from where Ranma and the others would have struck the ground.

Akane fell to her knees, crying, and Tarou-bull's heart went out to her. He didn't want to see her cry, not ever, even if it was over Saotome's death. He tried placing one of his massive hands over her shoulder, but she slapped it viciously away.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME!" she raged. "YOU LET HIM DIE! I HATE YOU!"

Tarou-bull actually flinched at her accusations. It hurt worse than any blow he had ever received. It hurt worse than all of them combined. He had to do something to get back into her graces. He simply had to. It dawned on him that a life without her did not feel like it was worth living.

Since he could not speak he began writing on the ground. Akane refused to look at it, initially, opting to cry instead, but eventually Tarou-bull got her to look at the writing. Through her tear-stained eyes she read that Tarou-bull knew he could not have saved Ranma without killing them all, and that 'Fem-boy' was annoyingly resourceful, and that one lousy fall, even from that height would not kill him.

There was mostly truth in what Tarou-bull had written, especially since he WAS confident Saotome had survived the fall. The guy was like a cockroach and refused to be squashed like the bug he was. No, Tarou-bull was certain Ranma had survived the fall, but he hoped the hermaphrodite had at least broken both of his legs on the landing.

As though grasping at one last desperate hope, Akane nodded her head and dried her tears as best as she could. Tarou was correct. Ranma would not succumb to a mere fall.

"Let's go find him," Akane set off towards where they had last seen Ranma.

Tarou-bull placed his massive form between Akane and the path. He began writing in the dirt some more, saying that finding Ranma down there was more like searching for a needle in a haystack. Since they knew Ranma was heading towards Mount Phoenix anyway, the two of them should set off for there and meet Ranma when he arrived.

Besides, Tarou-bull wanted revenge against the shadow man that had hurt him and Akane. He'd show Shujima what it meant to lay a hand on his woman. Saotome would be dealt with after the fight. Tarou had to rethink how he was going to win Akane's heart, now that he knew simply getting rid of Ranma was no longer an option.

Earlier:

Ranma saw the trees rushing up to him. There was nothing he could do to stop his fall, so he aimed for the thick cover of foliage and gave a prayer that he and the others landed in something soft. Maybe he could slow his fall using the branches. It was a longshot, but it was all that he could think of as he was falling to what might have been his death.

He saw a flash of purple as Shampoo nearly ran into him in mid-air, then he felt the green of the leaves as he crashed through the first screen of leaves, He grabbed at Shampoo as he held his free hand out and tried to grab anything he could, hoping to slow his fall, even if it meant having his shoulder ripped out of its socket.

His body broke two sets of branches, the second actually being thick enough to slow him down some, while he made certain Shampoo was above him as they fell. If he slowed down enough his body might be enough to keep her from dying on impact.

As he fell through the second set of branches he saw there was nothing else to slow him down as he and his companion rushed to meet the forest floor. It was brown, if clear of any vegetation. No last minute pool of water there. Ranma was fairly certain they were coming in too fast to survive the impact. There were still so many things he had left unresol-

*SPLOOSH*

Aki saw Perfume go through almost the same spot that Ranma and Shampoo had fallen through. It was as good a place as any to aim for as Aki guided her body near where Ranma had gone through. Too bad she couldn't bring herself to use her stand to cushion the fall, even now. She hoped Ryouga and the crew didn't mourn her loss for too lo-

*SPLOOSH*

Aki felt herself in some kind of warm liquid-like substance. It was too thick for water, and she couldn't see through it, but it had been soft enough to break her fall and keep from breaking her neck. She had been extraordinarily lucky to have taken a deep breath right before she hit. She tried swimming in it, but it was too thick. Panic began to overcome her until she realized that her feet were touching something solid. She used that for leverage and began to walk through the thick, viscous liquid. Anyone not as powerful as her would have had trouble walking through it, but not her. It was slowing her down, but she moved at a fairly quick pace.

As she moved forward and felt her lungs start to burn from lack of air, she felt something soft brush against her face. There was a shift from it as Aki held her hand up and grasped at it. Even through the thick substance her fingers identified what it was: fabric.

Aki grabbed onto the person in it, who was struggling weakly, and began carrying them through the substance. Aki felt faint, but could have sworn the bottom of whatever it was she was in was starting to rise. The person she was carrying stopped struggling, not a good sign. Aki used every ounce of energy she had when she felt an object in front of her. Taking a chance she grabbed it and tried to hurry onward. She felt as though she was going to black out when her head broke through the thick liquid and air passed across her face.

Air. The most precious substance in the world filled her lungs as she staggered to the edge of the pool she had been in. She wiped her eyes of the muck across them as she looked at what she was still waist-deep in. The brown ooze left her with little doubt about what it was that had saved her from death and nearly killed her anyway. Quicksand.

As she gasped for air she turned her attention to her two burdens. The first one she had grabbed turned out to be Shampoo, whose unmoving head was just above the surface of the quicksand. The second was Perfume, who was equally unmoving. That left only Ranma still in the pool. Aki threw Perfume roughly on the ground next to the pool, then tried to pull Shampoo fully out of the quicksand, so she could end up on shore and Aki could start a search for Ranma. The odds of finding him were terrible, but she had to take the chance.

The drag on Shampoo was incredible, and as Aki placed both hands on her and gave a mighty heave, she saw why. Shampoo's left hand was clutching Ranma.

Shampoo hadn't let go of him, even after the fall. Even after unconsciousness. Aki shook her head, then remembered that Ranma had been under longer than any of the other three. Quickly Aki placed Shampoo and Ranma on solid ground, then heaved herself out of the waist-deep spot she was in and examined the three closely. Perfume and Shampoo were breathing, weakly, but they were breathing. Ranma was not, though a quick check showed his heart was still beating.

Aki threw Ranma on his back and began mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Time lost meaning for her as she began the process of trying to get him to breathe on his own. She felt no breath, then repeated the procedure swearing she would do it until she got his breathing restarted or she dropped from exhaustion.

After three minutes, she got the former

"You dummy," Aki said as sat up and breathed a sigh of relief. It was as she was wondering how long it would take Ranma to recover when she felt a hand grab her by the back of the neck. She turned to look at the point of a sword leveled against her throat.

"Why you kiss Ranma?" Shampoo said, glaring at Aki the whole time.

Aki placed her finger delicately on the tip of the sword and gently pushed it away from her face. "It was called a 'kiss of life.' He wasn't breathing."

"Oh!" Shampoo dropped her sword and examined Ranma gently, confirming for herself that he was still breathing.

Aki went over to check on Perfume. The pink-haired Amazon sat up, looking like she had been through a vicious fight, fell several hundred feet, and nearly drowned in quicksand, but was otherwise in good shape. The two exchanged a few words, then looked back towards Shampoo, who was now gently cradling Ranma in her arms.

Shampoo felt Ranma stir, then embraced him. "Ranma, you is okay."

*BLORF*

Shampoo held Ranma away from her for a moment to see he had cleared his insides out of all the quicksand he had managed to swallow. Too bad for Shampoo he had done it all over her, not that it was not all that noticeable since she was already covered in the muck. So much for any romantic revelations though.

After several moments Ranma recovered enough to listen to what happened to him and thanked Aki.

"What happened to Akane?" he asked as he felt his heart seize up. If anything had happened to her...

"I think Pantyhose grabbed her. I saw him fly close to her, but I lost track of them," Perfume said. "There were more pressing concerns at hand, you understand."

"Yeah. He'd do that and leave the rest of us to fall to our deaths. He probably thinks I'm out of the way now. Wait until I get my hands on him!"

Aki cuffed him in the back of the head. "As much as you have a right to be angry with him, we gotta little problem with those monsters that attacked us. Why don't we take care of this whole Mount Phoenix thing before we go beating each other up?" She tried wiping as much of the muck off her clothes as she could. Despite her outward focus, she was concerned about Ryouga's fate. She had still been hanging from her ribbon when her cousin had been cut loose. Fortunately, it had appeared there was a river right below him when he fell. Aki would have sworn he hit the water, but she had not had a good look.

Ranma assented and the remaining trio tried to dry themselves off as they reoriented themselves.

Aki stared at the quicksand for some time. To her knowledge that wasn't the sort of thing that made up part of the western Chinese countryside. She took a moment to examine her surroundings. Something else wasn't quite right. It took her close to two minutes before she could place her finger on it.

"Ranma! Shampoo! Take a look at the trees and plants around here and tell me what it reminds you of."

"Being in the country," Ranma answered, irritated Aki was apparently going off on some wild tangent that had nothing to do with beating up the opposition.

Shampoo looked at it more closely. She hadn't noticed it before, but there was something wrong about the plant life. Growing up in the area all of her life, she knew nothing like the types of plant life she was seeing before her belonged here.

She snapped her fingers. "It's just like Pangea!"

"Yeah. That's what I thought," Aki said. It was good to have that confirmed.

"I see what you mean," Ranma said in agreement. "This stuff gets freakier by the moment. Let's find those guys, beat 'em up, then get them to change this place back to the way it was. And let's hope there ain't no dinosaurs around here either. I had more than enough to last me a lifetime."

The trio of girls agreed with Ranma and headed towards Mount Phoenix once more.

1:06:10

Kodachi moved through the air gracefully and executed a perfect dive as she entered the water cleanly, barely feeling the impact.

Mousse was flailing away as he did a near-version of a belly flop. He was temporarily stunned as he changed to panda form and began to sink into the water. Kodachi swam over to where he disappeared and managed drag him to the surface before rousing him. Together the two headed for the shore to dry themselves out.

"Do we continue on, my dearest?" Kodachi asked.

Mousse-panda nodded. [We have to make sure Shampoo is all right.] He began tromping off towards Mount Phoenix once again.

Kodachi scowled angrily at his back as she followed. He had given up on Shampoo, yet continued to fawn over her. For his sake, when he came fully to his senses and realized just whose heart he held, he had better start treating Kodachi twice as nicely. Or else.

Ai, Ryouga, and Ukyou all dove into the water at the water at the same time. The initial splash hurt, but it was something all of them could easily deal with.

Ai was swimming to the surface when she spotted Ryouga-bat beginning to sink. She made a mental note that apparently bats weren't designed for swimming. Quickly she kicked out with her legs and swam over to the sinking form. Ryouga was far from her favorite person in the world, but he certainly did not deserve to drown.

Ukyou paddled her arms furiously, trying to stay afloat. For someone that had spent a good portion of her life near a seashore, one would have thought she would be able to swim fairly well. Nothing could have been further from the truth. She could do a passable job and could keep from sinking like a rock, but being in water was not a favorite pastime of hers.

When no one else surfaced Ukyou began to panic. She was about to risk trying to swim underwater when Ai broke the surface, bearing gifts in the form of a bat and his shirt and pants. Breathing a sigh of relief, Ukyou headed to shore, and once on firm ground set up her portable grill and heated some water for Ryouga. Within minutes he was dressed and apologizing for nearly drowning.

"Don't worry about it," Ukyou assured him.

"I just hope Aki's all right," Ryouga muttered.

Ai pointed towards Mount Phoenix. "Since that's where we were heading, let's get going. I'm sure the others will be there waiting for us."

Ukyou and Ryouga nodded in agreement as the trio set off towards Mount Phoenix.

57:12

The Devils had split up. Most tried to find the separate groups of people while Tessai and Mujuru headed directly to Mount Phoenix in case any of the intruders made it that far. None of them could be allowed to get to the Shogun. None of them.

Ranma and the girls gazed at the huge field full of the strange flowers before them. The expanse was truly immense, unlike anything Ranma had ever seen, yet there was something wrong about the flora. It appeared...alien, in some way.

"Kodachi would have a field day with this," he commented.

"Ah! It's just a bunch of flowers. Plants aren't dangerous," Aki commented as she set off for the field.

"You never had one try to eat you whole," Ranma replied dryly as he followed behind her, wary of any plants that might suddenly rise up and try to devour him.

The quartet made it halfway across the field when Perfume slapped the first bee that stung her. She was about to continue onward when something clicked in her mind. "I think we have a problem."

The others turned to look at her, then heard the sound of buzzing come from all around. A huge swarm of bees, wasps, and other various stinging insects began to pour forth from the flowers.

"Even with the amagurikan, I can't handle anywhere near this many bugs!" Ranma shouted as he began swatting them out of the air.

Shampoo began to panic as well. They had no attack that could wipe out a lot of bugs that came at them from all sides at the same...

"Ranma! Run away to almost the edge of the field, then use the Moko Takabisha on me!" Shampoo shouted.

Ranma shook his head, the move allowing him to get stung several times. "Are you crazy?! How's that going to help?!"

In answer Shampoo began to glow blue, the chi energy taking on a scale-like pattern.

Ranma understood in a heartbeat. "Run!" he shouted to Perfume while grabbing Aki and heading to the edge of the field.

Aki allowed herself to be carried almost half of the distance before she realized what was happening. "You coward! You're leaving Shampoo to die while she attracts all of the bugs! Oww!" She smacked an offending wasp. "Almost all of them."

"Nah! She's going to blow herself up."

"Oh," Aki said in relief. "That makes...WHAT?!"

Perfume began to run after Ranma when she spotted something in front of her. It was just a fleeting glimpse from out of the corner of her eye, but it was all she needed to confirm what she had thought she had seen. She brought her naginta forward and used the 'Whirling Dervish' to cut down as many of the insects as she could. Some got through and stung her, but not enough to halt her progress.

Shampoo stood at the eye of the newly formed swarm. It was difficult retaining control of the 'Dragon's Scales'. The bugs may have been small, but there were enough of them that the defense wanted to strike out and destroy them. However, the blast from her alone might not be large enough to destroy them all, and Shampoo wouldn't be able to use the attack again. She had to get them all the first time.

"Hurry, Ranma," she said through gritted teeth.

Ranma thought he was far enough away from the majority of the swarm and released Aki. He summoned his confidence and allowed the chi energy to form between his hands.

"MOKO TAKABISHA!"

The attack struck Shampoo dead center. The following sphere of energy that radiated outward from her expanded to a tremendous size, vaporizing over ninety nine percent of the bugs. Ranma found himself knocked backward from the force of the explosion, slamming into Aki as she too was blown off her feet.

As the sphere disappeared, Shampoo was left on her knees trying to recuperate her energy. For some reason maintaining the control for as long as she had had drained her worse than when she had employed it against Mousse. The purple-haired Amazon decided she was going to have to practice her control over the attack.

Perfume picked herself up off the ground. Her back felt a little burned from the amount of chi energy that had hit her, and though she ached, she could still fight. Her gaze turned to where the hunchbacked man that had been directing the insects from behind a rock slowly revealed himself.

"A bold tactic," Mushizo complimented as he brought his battle fork to bare. He had been far enough away to avoid the effects of the 'Dragon's Scales' blast, and proceeded to use that advantage on the injured Perfume.

Naginta met battle fork as the two engaged in combat. Four times the weapons clashed, four times each attack was parried. Mushizo's hopes for a quick ending were quickly dashed. Worse, he saw that Ranma, Aki, and Shampoo were recovering and looking towards the fight. Mentally, he summoned more insects from around the area. With any luck he could finish Perfume quickly and run off until the new swarm arrived and dealt with his opponents.

Mushizo swung at Perfume's head. She retreated long enough for the hunchbacked man to back away and rip off his shirt. He half turned, allowing Perfume to catch a glimpse of the hive-like hump that was embedded in his back. Perfume's eyes widened as bees started coming out of it and attacked. She was unable to deal with them as Mushizo once again came at her with his battle fork.

Hundreds of stings began to wear her down as she found herself locked in combat with Mushizo. The others were still too far away to help, and soon the pain from the stings would overwhelm her and she would fall to Mushizo's weapon. She had only one chance.

Perfume deliberately locked up the fork with her own naginta as more stings assailed from allaround. She maneuvered so her right wrist was pointed at Mushizo's head.

Perfect.

"Say good-bye, you hunchbacked freak!"

In an instant she let go of the naginta with her left hand and twisted the oversized bracer on her right arm. A tiny black cylinder popped out as she shifted her hand and pulled back on a small spring-attached piece of metal, that had been concealed, towards the end of the bracer. She released the piece of metal and allowed it to go forward.

*BANG*

Perfume watched as Mushizo's left compound eye disappeared and a huge chunk of flesh went flying outward from the back of his skull from the impact of the single armor-piercing bullet her gauntlet concealed. The Devil's body went limp and fell backwards. As Mushizo's body hit the ground, Perfume felt the insects stop stinging as they too followed their master dead to the ground.

"Welcome to the era of modern-day weaponry." Perfume sank to her knees as her three comrades-at-arms at last rushed to her side.

"Are you all right?" Shampoo said as she examined Perfume. It didn't look good. Perfume had huge swellings over almost all of her body. The pain had to be excruciating.

"No," Perfume barely managed to get out through her puffy lips. "I have to enter a healing trance. I learned it from an Indian shaman during my travels. It's my only hope. Good luck." She lay on her back and concentrated, using her body's life energy to heal herself, hopefully in time.

The others looked at her, temporarily uncertain of what to do. There were no other Devils that seemed to be coming out to avenge the death of their friend, so the trio talked it over, then elected to take a chance and moved Perfume to the woods, concealing her in some shrubs. It was a risky tactic. If anyone stumbled upon her, there was nothing Ranma and the others could do in the underlying brush and plants, but there was no other choice. Shampoo gave a prayer for her friend as the trio set off for Mount Phoenix once more.

57:12

At the same time:

Kodachi and Mousse-panda made their way through the verdant tropical jungle. The Black Rose had already made a mental note of at least five different varieties of plants she did not recognize. Examining them when an opportunity presented itself was going to be a pleasure.

The pair were getting close to the mountain when Benisato almost seemed to slither into view.

"A new opponent," Kodachi said as she drew a ribbon. "You will fare just as well as your associate did against us."

"I'm not a hunchbacked oaf," Benisato said as she undid the clasp on her garment and stood, naked save for the snake tattoos that adorned her body.

"Do not try to tempt my Mousse!" Kodachi spat. "He's...mi..n..." She trailed off as the snake tattoos moved of their own accord, capturing all of Kodachi's attention. There was no longer anything else in her mind save the loveliness of those gracefully flowing reptiles.

Mousse-panda stared at Kodachi, concerned at why she had suddenly seized up. He turned to the woman standing about fifteen feet before him, the somewhat blurry woman before him whose moving snake tattoos were too out of focus to be effective on Mousse-panda. He drew a set of knives and prepared to throw them at the woman when he felt a wire circle around his neck. Four hundred thousand volts shot through Mousse-panda as he discovered he could do nothing more than fry.

Yurimaru, hidden in the branches above his opponent, let the voltage shoot through Mousse-panda. He was annoyed. Electrocuting someone's trained panda was beneath him. He should be at Mount Phoenix and at Gemma's side, helping him fight off any intruders.

The sound of electricity shook Kodachi out of her trance. Reflexively, she hurled a razor hoop at the wire around Mousse-panda's neck, severing it. Yurimaru raised a single eyebrow in irritation. No one was allowing him to get his work done anymore.

The instant the hypnotic contact was broken, Benisato shifted the snake tattoos adorning her body into living vipers and sent them forth to attack. All four sank their fangs deep in Kodachi's limbs. She gave a squeal of pain as the vipers pulled out, then continued forward to examine her love. If he was dead there was nothing for her anyway.

"That should be enough to kill the ridiculous panda," Yurimaru said. "If it wasn't, I trust you will finish them off."

"The girl will be dead in less than two minutes," Benisato confirmed. "That's one kill apiece."

"I am not Tessai!" Yurimaru snapped. "I shall return to Mount Phoenix and keep those other fools away from Lord Gemma. Return once the girl has expired before your eyes." He leaped off at top speed towards Mount Phoenix.

Benisato watched idly as Kodachi wept over the panda. She was annoyed when the gymnast gave a squeal of joy and announced out loud that he had a pulse. Benisato shook her head. Yurimaru was losing his touch, though how any panda could have withstood that level of electricity was beyond the Mistress of the Snakes ability to comprehend. It would die for certain once she used her own personal venom on him. There was not a creature alive, outside of Gemma, that could survive that particular toxin.

Benisato moved forward to finish the pair off when she noticed Kodachi bring out a vial and quaff it. "What was that?"

Kodachi smiled as she brought out another one of her razor hoops from somewhere in her tights. "I have a tendency to use snake venom in some of my chemical agents. I always keep a universal snake antidote on hand. It's my own design. Now let's see if you're razor-resistant."

Benisato remained motionless, stunned by the revelation. An image of the last young raven-haired girl she had poisoned, and who was unaffected by it, flashed through her mind as she superimposed Kugara's face upon Kodachi's. Benisato was so amazed at her ill fortune that she failed to evade the razor edged hoop, allowing it to slice clean through her neck.

The last thought through the snake woman's mind was the injustice of it all.

49:29

Happosai found the concealed cave he was searching for. It hadn't taken much convincing on his part to get Cologne to agree that approaching through the front entrance was just asking for trouble. He had sneaked into lots of hidden fortresses throughout the years, and one thing he learned from all of them was that there was always more than one way in. Mount Phoenix was no exception.

He laughed to himself as he and Cologne crept cautiously along the passageway. One thing he had learned from all of secret ways into mountain fortresses was that they almost always carried traps.

"What's that smell?" Cologne asked.

Happosai paused for a moment to sniff the air. From the second he inhaled he knew what it was. "Decomposing Flesh."

Cologne nodded her head. "That's what I thought."

Happosai considered the new information. "Let's head for it."

"Why would we want to do that?" Cologne asked in surprise.

"Because no one leaves guards around dead bodies. They can't stand the smell for long." Without waiting for her agreement, he went on in the direction of the smell.

Cologne accepted the 'wisdom' of the suggestion and followed. Even if guards were present, there should not be too many of them.

As the duo reached the main cavern the sight inside made even the hardened elders recoil. Hundreds of dead bodies filled the cavern. Mount Phoenix was now nothing more than a giant mausoleum.

"Monsters," Cologne whispered under her breath. That was all she could think of. It would have to suffice.

"Col-chan?" Happosai said softly.

"Yes?"

"We're going to make these animals pay, no matter what. I've never been one to take killing lightly, but none of them will be alive by the end of the day."

Cologne only nodded her head in agreement.

The two made their way past the piles of bodies. Just as they made it halfway through, Happosai felt his leg catch on something. He looked down and discovered an outstretched partially decomposed hand had caught on the leg of his gi. He tried pulling it away, only to see the hand tighten its grip. Another hand began moving, then another as all of the bodies began to move.

Cologne lashed out at the hand clutching Happosai's leg, then leapt clear of the now moving bodies. Happosai joined her a moment later.

"It looks like there were guards after all," he said as he saw the corpses begin to shamble towards them.

"Too bad we don't have the ghost sweeper to put all of these poor souls to rest properly. It looks like we'll have to do this the hard way." Cologne began to summon her chi, cursing all the more at the scum that dared to use necromancy. The dead were meant to stay dead. She would make whoever it was pay. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, they would pay.

49:29

At the same time:

Zakura watched as the little fool who had dared to bleed her, and two of his little sluts, approached Mount Phoenix. It had been good fortune that delivered the one she wanted most to be dead into her hands. Now she was poised in just the right spot to kill him, high above his head where tons of rock could be used to bury him. Sometimes there was no substitute for being lucky.

"Good bye!" she shouted down at his form nearly a hundred feet below. She was amused to see his head whip up as she threw the explosive at the keystone. Instantly she detonated it, causing a mini-avalanche to cascade down towards the trio. It appeared the largest boulder of the lot was heading directly towards him. There was nothing they could do, no time to get out of the way, as the rocks rained down upon them. The largest one struck the trio dead on.

Zakura waited a moment for the dust to settle. Seeing there was no one climbing through the huge pile of rubble, nor at the sides of it, she went back into the mountain. With any luck Tessai would not have discovered all of the intruders and she would get to kill a few more.

Thirty seconds after Zakura left, the huge five ton boulder stirred. Impossibly, the rock moved up and away from the pile. A large, black figure of a muscular woman in scanty armor, composed of psychic energy, tossed the rock aside as if it was a pebble. Once free of the stone, the figure retreated into the form of Akiko Yoshida.

Ranma and Shampoo could only stare at her in stunned surprise. They had heard the story from Ryouga, but had not understood just how incredible the sight was. And it had been the only thing that could have saved them.

"Thanks," Ranma told her, trying to keep the awe out of his voice. If only he could do something like that, he would be unbeatable. Maybe there was a way to increase his strength through his chi. The old ghoul might have some ideas about that.

He placed his hand on the silent Aki's shoulder. As he touched her she gave a soft gurgle, then her eyes rolled up inside her head as she started to collapse. Ranma grabbed her before she could hit the ground.

"What's wrong?" he asked Shampoo as he examined Aki.

"I don't know." Shampoo shrugged. "Didn't Ryouga say something about her never being able to use it unless someone called her by 'that' word?"

Now that Ranma thought about it, he had heard Ryouga mention something like that. It was not like Ranma had paid that much attention to the specifics. There were a lot of other things on his mind at the time.

"She seems to be breathing okay." He looked to the mountain next to them. "Man, what should we do? Leave her and go in, or stay out here with her?"

Shampoo considered that. Aki was a fighter. "She'd want us to go in and avenge her."

Ranma nodded in agreement. Shampoo did a quick search and saw no one and nothing around that could harm Aki. Once again Ranma was forced to hide someone he was going to leave behind. He was going to make that exploding woman pay for what she had done to him and his friends. That was a promise.

After hiding Aki amongst the rubble, effectively shrouding her from anyone that did not know she was there, Shampoo and Ranma searched and found a concealed passage a little ways up the mountain wall. With one last backward glance at where their fallen comrade was hidden amongst the rocks, Shampoo and Ranma entered Mount Phoenix.

44:30

Tarou-bull wasn't about to walk into some trap like the others. He had heard the legends of Mount Phoenix during his travels. Since Cologne assured him they were quite real, that meant they would have entrances which they could fly into. It was one such entrance he was searching for. It didn't appear any of their opponents from earlier were able to fly, which meant there was a reasonable chance such an entry point might not be guarded. And if there were a guard he would crush them.

Tarou-bull flew with Akane in his arms, savoring every moment she was there, in spite of the seriousness of the situation. More often now he was discovering her absences made him feel as though something was missing from his life. Time was making him crave her more than ever. Once all of this was behind them and he won her heart, which was inevitable, he was going to have to consider their future. Settling down seemed like a good idea to him. Running the dojo sounded like a decent way to make a living. No, Akane would want to run it, and that would sit fine with him. Curiously he did not feel the need to call the shots around her. Deep inside he knew that she wanted to take charge of things, and that was all right too. He wasn't even dating her and he was already whipped.

And it was a pretty damn good feeling too.

Making peace with Nabiki was going to be difficult, but it wasn't like he was marrying her. They could come out to some sort of agreement. Sort of an 'I won't ever mess with you again if you don't mess with me,' arrangement. She'd better accept something like that, anyway. And to think, if Nabiki had not sicced that tail on him they would never have crossed swords. He shrugged. There was no use in trying to change that which could not be changed. Just like his dead mother.

It was odd. Only recently had he realized that Akane bore a passing resemblance to his mother. At first he panicked, fearful he had some sort of Oedipus complex involving her and it hadn't been love at all. But after some soul searching he understood that was not the case. What he felt for Akane was true love, not some misguided attempt to reclaim something he could never have. In a way, the idea that he might not have truly loved her had scared him, and in the end, once that feeling passed, it eradicated whatever doubts he might have once held.

Tarou-bull returned his thoughts to the present as he landed in a large hole in the side of the mountain. One that could only be reached by air. Gently he let Akane down, then took the lead. The passageway was designed to be slightly large for normal-sized people, which meant Tarou had to crouch to enter. He hoped the tunnel did not extend very far into the mountain. Any fights he was involved would end up with him having a definite disadvantage; there was absolutely no room to maneuver. With the way his luck had been going of late it came as no surprise when he saw the man in old-style Japanese white robes waiting for him.

"You shall not pass," the blind swordsman, Ututsu Mujuru warned as he held his sword high.

Tarou-bull just bellowed loudly and charged. If he could take Mujuru out quickly he might be able to escape with just one cut. Besides, it was only a guy with a sword. He'd taken out plenty of men with more than that.

Tarou-bull was almost on top of him when the blade suddenly shown with a light almost as bright as the sun. The flash caught Tarou-bull off guard as he reflexively reared up in surprise. Mujuru used the opening to his full advantage, cutting Tarou-bull deeply along the ribcage. He flowed from one move to the next as he slid between Tarou's legs and cut once again. This time the target was the hamstrings of his left leg. Tarou-bull staggered forward and Mujuru's blow cut deep, but not deep enough to sever the tendons and ligaments. Mujuru rose from his knees and with a twist of the wrist, casually severed Tarou-bull's eel tail, The cursed boy screamed out in pain, blindly flailing away and striking the rock walls, hoping to catch the swordsman he could neither see nor hear over his own roars of pain.

With Tarou-bull effectively neutralized, Mujuru switched his attention to Akane. Her experience in early morning duels with Kunou enabled her to avoid the first couple of strikes aimed at her heart. The blind Devil quickly evaluated her as having some true skill in avoiding his blade and concentrated more intently on an attack. He had forced her on the defensive when he sensed she'd stumbled over a rock and fell heavily to the tunnel floor. From her position on her back she could do nothing more than hold her arm up to ward the killing blow to her head. As Mujuru brought his blade down on the girl, intent on cutting through the arm with the first stroke then finishing her off with a second, he sensed something amiss. Something about the girl that he couldn't quite put his finger on. As he brought his sword down on her gi-covered arm, he realized what it was even as the sword struck the limb. Her pulse was too steady for her to have accidentally fallen.

*CLANG*

His sword was halted by something metal under the sleeve. A brief 'glimpse' of the last moments of his previous life, and his sword being blocked by a blade buried in bamboo, flashed in his mind as Akane's foot met his groin. She was on her feet in less than a second, grabbing Mujuru's weapon arm and forcing it across her knee. The arm did not break, but the pain was great enough to make him release his hold on the weapon. He then found himself on the receiving end of dozens of punches and kicks that were leveled at him so quickly he did not have time to slump to the ground. The last thing he heard was the girl crying out something about hurting her friend.

Akane at last stopped beating Mujuru. It was too difficult to keep him upright to suffer from any more punches. For a while, Akane had believed that she hated Shampoo, and she did, to a degree, but it was nothing compared to what she felt to the man before her now. He had tried to kill her friend.

She had recoiled when she heard Tarou-bull cry out in pain as his eel tail was severed, and wanted to help him, but instinctively knew she had to take care of Mujuru first. When it became obvious she wasn't going to get by his defenses, she came up with a desperate plan. Before leaving the ship Tarou had given her his other bracer to replace the one she'd left at home. She had protested it at first, knowing how much they meant to him, but he had managed to talk into accepting it anyway. Somehow the way he explained things always made sense, and she found herself giving in. It was a good thing he had. Because of Mujuru's superior reach with his blade, she couldn't get lose enough to inflict any damage. Eventually she came up with a plan before he could slip a cut past her defenses. It was risky, but she took the chance that the bracer could withstand one good sword stroke, so she pretended to trip and let her opponent become overconfident. And it had worked to perfection. She had taken Mujuru out, alone.

As she stopped beating on him she looked at her fists. Both were covered in a deep crimson. Blood. In fear she examined the Devil's fallen form more closely. From the condition he was in she understood instantly that she had nearly beaten him to death. She had lost control.

Akane backed away in fear. She had never done that before, never come so close to killing someone, and she found herself nauseated. Softly she began weeping until a large hand rested on her shoulder. She turned to look into the eyes of Tarou's cursed form and buried herself in his furry hide, crying while praying the tears would wash away her shame.

37:49

Ryouga, Ukyou, and Ai stared at the rock wall before them. It had taken a while, but they had finally arrived at Mount Phoenix.

"How do we get in?" Ai asked as she looked around for some sort of opening.

"That's easy." Ryouga stepped up to the side of the mountain, pointed one finger, then shouted, "Bakusai Tenketsu!" and blew a hole in the side of the mountain. Two more 'breaking points' later, the trio had access to the inside of the mountain.

"Where do we go from here?" Ai asked as she looked over the interior of the mountain. They were currently in a large cavern, devoid of anything other than rock, though she did take note that a good portion of the surface was smooth, obviously from extensive use.

"Why don't we go this way?" Ryouga started to go down one of the tunnels that led deeper into the mountain.

Ukyou and Ai looked at one another, then rushed forward, each picking up Ryouga by lifting up under his shoulder and effectively carrying him to a tunnel that led upward.

"No offense, Ryouga, but you'll probably end up taking us to the center of the earth if we let you lead," Ukyou said as the trio began searching for something out of the ordinary.

The next tunnel led to a massive cavern full of destroyed houses. They surveyed the carnage with a wary eye, wondering what happened to all of the people that had been living there, when a familiar voice boomed out.

"It's about time some of you showed up."

The three looked on to see Tessai approach them, his twin bladed sword drawn. The way he was smiling at the trio repulsed them. There wasn't the slightest doubt in any of their minds what sort of creature the stone giant was.

"Surround him!" Ai shouted.

Both she and Ukyou moved to Tessai's flanks. Surprisingly he made no move to prevent either one of them from doing that. He stood still and just grinned at the three of them.

"Attack me all at once or separately, it won't make a difference. I'm going to kill all of you."

Ai nodded at Ukyou. The chef took that as her cue to leap forward and swing her spatula at Tessai's side. He casually moved his giant weapon in her direction, deflecting the attack. Ukyou leaped out of range of the weapon while Ai followed up by using her pompom explosives attack, raising a cloud of dust from the impact of the pellets. As the smoke cleared they saw Tessai grinning at them as though nothing had happened.

"Are you finished yet?" he asked, smiling the entire time. Watching future victims panic was always a kick.

"You still have me to deal with." Ryouga charged forward and punched Tessai in his rocky chest.

This time Tessai took the attack seriously as he matched blows with Ryouga, keeping his sword in check. As Ryouga fought, both girls saw what was slowly happening, Ryouga was getting tired as his blows only had a minimal effect on Tessai, whereas the stone giant's punches were beginning to take their toll on Ryouga.

The pair waited until Tessai struck Ryouga hard enough to knock him back several feet and stunned him, then attacked. Ukyou threw her mini-spatulas at Tessai while Ai went for a baton attack, targeting the small missing chuck of rock that Aki had knocked loose when she had repeatedly head-butted Tessai. The Devil took no note of the mini-spatulas as they harmlessly bounced off his hide. Ai deftly avoided the backhanded swing directed at her and struck the missing spot squarely.

Tessai shouted out in pain and batted Ai away from him and into a wall near Ukyou. The chef saw Ai moving slowly and rushed to her fallen comrade. Ai was just starting to get to her feet when she saw Tessai, still holding his forehead with his free hand, hurl the giant two-bladed sword at her.

Ukyou moved into the path of the weapon without realizing it. She turned at the sound of the spinning weapon, only to see her own world spin as she was shoved out of the way. There was a brief cry of pain, and as Ukyou got to her feet she saw Ai lying on her stomach, a long deep gash riding up the length of her back right next to her spine. Blood poured freely from the wound.

"NO!" Ukyou picked up the all too limp in her arms.

"I almost...managed to push you...out of the way...and dodge the blade in...time. Would have been...quite the feat," she gasped out.

"You'll be okay," Ukyou sobbed through her tears.

Ryouga picked himself up and looked on at Ukyou holding Ai. There was so much blood. Too much. His gaze moved from the horrible scene before him to his opponent. The course of action was clear, and it was decided in a heartbeat. No mercy for those that would kill his friends. He rushed forward with his finger extended. Tessai's rocky hide was nonliving matter, which would make the attack effective.

He found the spot he needed, right above the heart of his opponent, and aimed for it. "BAKUSAI TENKET-"

Tessai prevented the attack by grabbing Ryouga's wrist before contact could be made, then twisted, breaking the bone.

37:49

Shampoo and Ranma moved cautiously through the tunnels. Ranma remembered Cologne saying something about the effect coming from the top of the mountain, so both he and Shampoo began their climb. Through vacant tunnels that felt hollow and empty. Through caverns that felt too silent. Through a mountain that felt more like a graveyard than a place for any living thing.

"I don't like this place, Ranma," Shampoo said as she moved closer to him.

"It ain't nothing." His tone belied the concern he felt. The place unnerved him too, but since it put him at such unrest his senses were unusually heightened. It proved to be fortunate as he sensed the attack come from the ledge above him. He knocked Shampoo out of the way as the wire looped around his neck.

Yurimaru knew he had his prey, one of the fools that would dare to attack his Lord Gemma. He vowed the one in his clutches would suffer far more than the others. He had yet to tap into the full potential of his newly-augmented abilities, courtesy of the Shogun of the Dark. Now he sent close to two million volts through Ranma and watched him twitch at the end of his line. After several seconds he stopped and allowed Ranma's body to slump to the ground. Yurimaru followed suit as he hopped down to the cavern floor below, next to the boy's smoldering body. He moved in front of Ranma and towards Shampoo, the Devil desiring to watch her stare in fear at him. The master of electricity was annoyed to see not one bit of apprehension in the girl, but rather a smirk which was directed at Yuirmaru.

"Death comes for you, you who would dare to harm my master."

Shampoo just shook her head. "I don't think so. You're too, too stupid to hurt me."

It was then Yurimaru heard the rustle of clothing behind him. He turned to look into the face of one very angry, and very unharmed, Ranma Saotome.

"H...How did you..." was all the Devil could get out.

"Romeo, Romeo where for art thou Romeo," Ranma said with a flourish as he released in amagurikan into Yurimaru. The Devil crumpled into a heap on the floor.

"He won't be getting up anytime soon." Ranma said as he nudged/kicked Yurimaru's body with his foot. He was about to say something else when Shampoo glomped onto him.

"Are you sure you're all right?" she said as she squeezed him tightly.

"Yeah. That Drog demon hit me with worse, and I could take that without a problem." If one didn't count the headache he had suffered for the next two days.

Shampoo was almost certain that was the case, especially since she had seen Ranma wink at her as soon as Yurimaru had stopped shooting electricity through him, but it was a good excuse to get a glomp in onto him. It really went far in improving her morale, and would probably help his as well. Still, she released him before he protested her closeness.

The duo tied Yurimaru up in his own wires, then set off once again for the top of the mountain. As they moved, Shampoo could not help but feel more dread as they continued. There was still time for Mr. Domino's prediction to come true, and she had a sinking feeling there were even greater dangers nearby. Still, she was a warrior by birth, and if she did meet her end it would be with pride. She would make Ranma proud of her.

32:56

Cologne unleashed one more Hiryuu Shouten Ha at the collection of zombies while Happosai unloaded a large Happodaikarin into the center. The ensuing explosion wiped out the last of the animated dead, finally leaving the pair with no opponents.

Cologne and Happosai spared a moment to gaze sadly at their handiwork. They had completely destroyed the last of the bodies of the denizens of Mount Phoenix. There had been no other option, but the whole event left a rotten taste in their mouths that would not be leaving for some time.

"Let's get going!" Happosai said as he searched for a way that led up. For the first time in decades he was truly angry, even moreso then when Genma and Soun had locked him away in that cave. At least they had a reason to do what they did, but whatever monster was responsible for such a genocide was going to pay with his life.

32:25

Ryouga cried out in pain as his wrist broke under the pressure. Tessai lifted his foe up with his free hand and hurled him into a nearby wall, which shattered under impact. From where Tessai stood, he saw water from the makeshift aqueducts that ran through the walls of the mountain run out from the hole in the wall and onto the floor. Tessai caught his returning blade, then walked over to where Ryouga was buried and began sifting through the rubble to make sure his opponent was dead. Tessai moved four stones, then five, and failed to spot Ryouga. He scratched his head as he looked around once more. It was impossible. He had a clear view of the small pile of stones the entire time. Ryouga had to be there. The only thing Tessai found was a bat amidst the rubble, but no teenage youth.

Tessai shrugged his shoulders. Why should he waste time looking for someone to kill when there was at least one other girl around he could do away with? After he had some fun with her, of course. He returned his attention to the girl who was cradling her injured companion's body. Judging from the wound he had inflicted, Tessai figured she wasn't long for this world. That left the one with the spatula. He watched the events unfold as the chef spoke quietly to her companion. There wasn't much else that could put him in as good a mood as watching one person slowly expire in another's arms.

Ukyou cradled Ai's head in her arms, brushing the blonde's hair out of her face. There wasn't anything she could do. Why?! Why was it so unfair? Why did SHE have to die?

"Ukyou," Ai said almost inaudibly. "Sorry to do this to you."

"Shush. Don't talk. It'll be all right." It had to be all right. Ai couldn't die. She just couldn't. They had done so much and there was still more they had to do together. There was too much left undone. Too much left undecided.

"I don't think so," Ai said as she grimaced. "I'm sorry I have to leave you, but I was right. It really does hurt too much."

"NO!" Ukyou screamed. "You can't go! I don't want you to! I need you!" Her voice dropped. "I love you. See. You can't die if I say I love you."

Ukyou watched the smile blossom on Ai's lips.

"That's so sweet, to hear you say that." Ai half-closed her eyes. "I'm truly happy, for the first time in so long. Thank you. I need to go to sleep now." Her eyes closed farther.

"Don't die!" Ukyou pleaded.

"Not dyin'," Ai barely got out. "Just rest for...a...while."

And Ai's eyes closed.

"That's the way it works, little girl."

The sound of the voice cut through Ukyou's sorrow, though she continued to gently cradle Ai's head. Maybe she would wake up. Maybe.

"I've been through this scene dozens of times, and I never get tired of it. It's just hard for me to keep from killing someone outright, so it's moments like this I truly treasure," Tessai laughed while bragging and made a mental note to try to inflict just enough damage on people so that they died more slowly around their loved ones. It was...intoxicating.

"It'll be all right," Ukyou said as she bent low and over Ai's face. "I'll take care of everything. You'll see." She gently kissed Ai's forehead. The first time she had initiated a kiss between the two. Delicately she allowed Ai's head to touch the stone floor, then rose to her feet.

"Now I've seen this bit close to thirty times, I think," Tessai said as he watched Ukyou closely. "This is the point where you shout out how you're going to kill me for taking away your loved one and how I'm going to die in agony and etcetera etcetera. And I know what you're thinking. You're saying, 'I'm the big bad guy and you're the good guy that's pure of heart and on the side of justice and you're going to get your revenge by killing me.' Well it don't work that way. This is the real world, little girl. Bad things happen to good people all the time, and 'justice' is almost never served. I'm proof of that. I've been responsible for lots of unhappy endings. Only once did someone actually succeed in avenging some of my victims, and even then I've managed to come back in the end. I guess that means it really wasn't much of a victory, now does it? So much for vengeance. You and your little friend are going to die at my hands, just like hundreds of others, just like thousands more, and there's not a thing you can do about it."

Tessai paused as Ukyou began a slow walk towards him. "Don't feel sad, little girl. Where your friend went, there's going to be a whole lot of other people joining her." He waited for Ukyou to say something, some cry of outrage or pain, but there was nothing. Just silence.

"So you're a quiet one. Those are pretty rare. Not much fun either." He brought his blade up before him. "I'll get rid of you quick so you can say hello to your little friend." Yes. It was a good idea to dispatch her fast. He had seen dead eyes like hers several times before. He hated those kinds of eyes. It meant that person lost the ability to fear, and they had a tendency to be a bother to kill.

Besides, that look was the only thing left in life that made him feel even slightly uneasy.

The girl continued walking slowly towards him, so he stepped forward and raised his weapon high in the air. She wasn't even making a move for her weapon. She just continued staring at him through those dead eyes. It was time to end it, so he brought his weapon down directly towards her skull.

Ukyou took a half step back, the blade only lightly slicing through the front of her uniform and some of the skin underneath. It was a deep cut, one that would leave a scar, but wasn't fatal. The blow was dodged, not because of some feeling of self-persevation, it was simply because there was something left undone.

As Tessai drew his blade back up, Ukyou found what she was looking for. She jabbed her finger forward, seeking the middle knuckle of the ring finger on Tessai's right hand, the one gripping the weapon.

She touched the spot perfectly.

Tessai's entire forearm detonated, sending rock, blood, and gore everywhere. There was no scream of pain; the shock from the blow had been instantaneous. He just looked down at the stump where the upper part of his arm had been, then looked at the girl, whose white eyes were all that shone through a face that was totally covered in blood. Tessai's blood. "Y...YOU BLEW UP MY ARM!"

"Yes," the dead voice, totally devoid of any emotion, replied through the mask of blood. "We'll start with your arm."

When Tessai had been modified, the Shogun had greatly increased his durability, enabling him to absorb incredible amounts of damage. At the time Tessai had been enthusiastic about the change, now he wished he had never received his adjustment as Ukyou continued her task. Despite sustaining enough damage to have destroyed his old body several times over, he lived.

Tessai's screams of torment echoed throughout the mountain for some time.

27:47

Akane and Tarou-bull turned another corner in the passageways. Twice they had to go back because the stone corridors were too small to accommodate the cursed youth, so they doubled back and found a different way up. It was taking them an extra amount of time, but they were slowly making their way up the mountain.

27:39

Cologne saw that Happosai was indeed looking over the children with a care that she had never seen him employ. She had always suspected he reserved a small place in his perverted heart for small children, and now her suspicions were confirmed.

Happosai had sensed the presence of the children as the pair searched for their unknown foe. At first the old ones suspected it was some sort of ambush, but when they searched and found nothing other than the trapped children, each relaxed the tiniest bit.

"What were you poor children doing here?" Happosai asked softly.

A young boy, relieved at his freedom, answered first. "The bad people trapped us in there."

"They were going to hurt us, another disheveled child spoke.

"They said all of our parents are dead," a third one said in a sad voice. "We didn't believe them at first, but when we never saw any of our people, we knew they was telling the truth. I miss my family."

Happosai tried cutting off the tears some of the younger ones threatened to release. He vowed once again the animals that had hurt these people would pay.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" One of the older girls caught the attention of Cologne.

"Yes?"

"One of our friends, Shiira, was taken out of here a while ago by a big scary man. He said we were never going to see her again. Could you find her?" The girl's voice dropped a little as she continued. "I promised her I'd get her out of here."

Cologne nodded. "We'll find her. I promise." They had taken one girl out of all the possible children. Dread filled her heart as she began to suspect why the man would have taken only one child. One that was destined not to return.

She gazed back at the way they had come. Cologne wanted to lead the children to safety, but there was no time. Once again she was going to be forced to take a chance with innocent lives.

"Can all of you fly?"

Every one of the children nodded their heads.

"Then you must find the nearest way out of this mountain and fly to the south as fast as you can. There is a village called Joketsuzoku that's full of friends. She handed the girl that had been talking to her a small medallion. "You tell them that the matriarch sent you there for protection and give this to one of the Elders there. That way they'll know you're telling the truth."

The girl nodded as Cologne told her to take part of the way she and Happosai had come back. But she made certain to tell them to avoid the lower levels, making up something about there being traps down there. They should be spared the sight of the pieces of dead bodies their people had become.

Happosai suppressed his urge to follow the children as well. It was risky to allow the children to leave unescorted, but there was another child whose life was probably being measured by the seconds. The pair of old masters hurried onward, feeling something building in the air. Events were reaching a crux, and there was very little time left.

They had not traveled far when Happosai leaped into the air to avoid a metal claw that came out of the shadows themselves. The claw retracted into them, then came out of a different one towards Cologne. She casually blocked it with her staff.

"A shadow mover," she said bluntly.

Happosai nodded in agreement. "I know what to do."

The duo avoided two other equally ineffectual attacks. Then Shujima stepped out of the shadows themselves, or, more appropriately, the real Shujima and twenty identical images. All began moving among themselves in the corridor, surrounding Cologne and Happosai.

Unconcerned, Cologne nodded to Happosai. Shujima was using an illusion similar to the Splitting Cat Hairs technique, only it was improved. Cologne could still tell which was the real man, but what she was about to do would make Shujima's illusions more than useless. She raised her staff and threw it. The item whirled in a circle in mid-air, similar in manner to Tessai's blade. The staff snuffed out all of the torches in one direction, then hit off a far wall and came back, putting out all of the torches in the other direction, leaving all three in pitch blackness.

"Shadow traveling doesn't work so well without shadows, does it?" Happosai called out as he used his other senses to spot Shujima in the darkness. Happosai noted that the master of Shadows confronted him as well, obviously being able to see in the pitch blackness too. He brought his claw back and launched it at Happosai. The aged one easily plucked it out of mid-air and launched himself to Shujima, burying the Devil's own claw in his neck. Shujima died in an instant.

Happosai sensed Cologne approaching and began speaking to her in the darkness. He couldn't make out the features of her face, but he could easily imagine what expression she had. It would be an approving one.

"I've had to take close to two dozen lives in my lifetime," he said bluntly. "It doesn't get any easier, even when they deserve it, like this one."

"That's what separates us from them." Cologne told him, though she doubted if she would have shown as much remorse as he did. The life of ruling her village had made her stronger in that way. She did not show what she felt inside. "We need to continue."

Both continued through the mountain, working their way ever upwards.

25:19

Ranma and Shampoo stood at a fork in the passageway. Both avenues led upwards, but each of the pair knew only one led to the place they wanted.

"Let's separate," Ranma said, "I'll take the right and you take the left."

Shampoo stared at him in shock. "That's a stupid idea! If we split up that'll cut our strength in half! You saw how tough these guys are! It'll take both of us to beat any one of them!"

"We're running out of time. I can feel it. Something's gonna happen soon." He gained a distant look in his eye as he said that. There was some feeling in the air, something dangerous. He tuned back in to the real world and smiled at Shampoo. "I got faith in you. If you run into any trouble you can handle it."

Shampoo glared at him suspiciously. Something was wrong. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing." Ranma shrugged. "It's just that I can tell the stakes are high and we need to cover this ground twice as fast." He tried a different tactic. "Look. You always wanted me to treat you like an equal. Heck, you tried breaking me in half once to drive your point home. Well, I'm finally going to do it. Unless you think you can't hack it alone."

"I can handle myself!" she growled as she glared at Ranma. "I'm just worried about you!"

"You know damn well I can take care of anything that comes my way!" he stated proudly. "We don't got any more time to argue. Are you going to show me you aren't all talk, or are you just going to follow in my footsteps like a good little girl?"

"I'll show you!" How dare the obnoxious male imply the champion of the Amazons wasn't able to take care of herself in a fight. She would show him. She would take care of all of their problems and rub it in his face when she returned. With one last glare towards Ranma, she stomped off down the corridor he had indicated.

Ranma waited a moment to make sure she had really left, then proceeded down the other corridor. Doing that to Shampoo had been painful, but damaging her pride was the best way to get her to leave his side without the Amazon becoming suspicious. Upon looking at the two passages, he had known instantly which path their foe was down. It went beyond his ordinary danger sense, it was almost as though something was calling to him, urging him to encounter what lay at the end of the tunnel. And the worst thing was that it felt familiar. He ran quickly, relying on his senses to alert him to any traps, though in his heart he knew there was none. The path would be clear to his foe, whoever he might be.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel which was much brighter than that of the passageway itself. From within the corridor of stone he saw that there was a larger area beyond. A cave of some sort. He hurried forward, drawing ever closer to the thing that was waiting for him.

Upon exiting the tunnel he saw a plain, brightly lit cavern, twenty meters long and ten high. That left plenty of room to maneuver. In the center of the room was the object of his calling. A huge man, Japanese, and with black hair. Ranma recognized him immediately.

Gemma had waited in one of the lower caverns, not all that distant from the main one the Shogun was using, anticipating the approach of...someone. He had felt drawn to that spot, as though that was where he was supposed to meet the intruder, and he knew it was an intruder. Perhaps the Shogun was subconsciously guiding him to encounter the trespasser before one of the other Devils got to him. That might explain the faint tingling he was feeling. But there was a problem with that idea. The sensation was not altogether unfamiliar. Gemma had felt it once before, he was certain of that, but for the life of him he simply could not place it. So he waited patiently for the intruder to come. If he was much longer, the Shogun's spell would be complete and any fight from that point on would be moot. Everything would be taken care of.

Gemma watched the opening from the lower passageway. That was where his foe would appear, and after ten minutes of waiting he at last sensed the nearness of his opponent. The feeling became more intense, and even more familiar, as the intruder emerged from the mouth of the tunnel and into the light. It was a young boy, Japanese if Gemma wasn't mistaken, with black hair and a red Chinese style shirt with blue pants. At first glance the youth did not appear familiar. Then Gemma looked into the eyes.

"You were that girl I met on that stormy night in Japan!" Gemma declared. The girl might have become a boy, but those eyes were the same. The girl's soul had not changed with her body.

"Yeah. I remember you too," Ranma answered. "Tall, dark and ugly."

Gemma smirked at the insult. A young boy was responsible for the feeling that had drawn Gemma to him? That hardly seemed reasonable, yet the feeling had been in Japan also, just not as powerful. There was probably more to the girl-become-boy than met the eye. Experience told the Devil to treat the newcomer as the most dangerous of foes. "I guess I should have listened to my instincts and killed you in Japan. I would have saved myself a lot of grief."

"Nah," Ranma smirked. "You'd have just gotten your butt kicked a lot sooner."

"We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Gemma, leader of the Eight Devils of Kimone, right hand of the Shogun of the Dark, and tomorrow, the leader of the country of Japan." The Devil did not bother with a bow.

"I'm Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. I'm the guy that's going to make you very unhappy."

Gemma issued a snort of derision, then charged at Ranma, hoping to catch the youth off-guard. Ranma jumped over the body block and tagged Gemma with a kick to the head. With a speed that belied the man's mass, he grabbed Ranma's foot and threw him into the ground. Ranma kicked free of the grip even as he hit the ground, then rolled to a standing position several feet away.

Now Ranma had a chance to reevaluate Gemma. The Devil was quick, and damn strong. Somewhere between Ryu Kumon and Ryouga in the level of strength. Ranma decided to test the man's hand-to-hand skills.

Gemma complied by moving into attack Ranma. As he began to throw rapid punches and kicks, Ranma quickly evaluated the man's skill level. He was employing some sort of technique that was all offense and no defense. It was quite foolish, actually. Ranma was able to get eight blows in for every one Gemma landed, although when the Devil did connect it hurt painfully.

Ranma ducked under a fist and struck Gemma squarely in the stomach with several fists and sent an uppercut to the jaw. Amazingly, Gemma ignored the blows as though he had not been struck and hit Ranma with an elbow to the jaw. The youth went on the defensive for a few moments as he caught his wind and reevaluated his opponent. Gemma could shrug off medium strength blows, as though he had some Bakusai Tenketsu training. That meant Ranma could really cut loose.

Ranma unleashed a series of blows all over Gemma's body. Fists blurred into Gemma's stomach, ribs, upper chest, then finished up with several blows to the head. The Devil's skin was hard enough that Ranma thought he was hitting a brick wall, but his training had involved using such things as techniques to improve the toughness of his fists. And he continued, being rewarded by the bloody face of Gemma.

Ranma attacked with renewed vigor, kicking his opponent in the chest and feeling ribs break. Ordinarily Ranma would have fought with more restraint, but he visualized his friends and allies being hurt by this monster's allies and fought to inflict maximum damage. With all of the blows he had landed, and all of the bones of Gemma's he broke, he knew his opponent had to be close to defeat. Even Ryouga at his best was not strong enough to take that kind of damage and fight on.

A lightning-quick hand snared Ranma's. For one second he was shocked by the smile Gemma wore through his pain. That hesitation was all it took for the Devil to lunge forward, driving Ranma into a stone wall and hearing him release a gasp of air from the impact. Gemma struck him with two fists to the head before Ranma ducked the third. As Gemma's punch shattered the stone he left it partially imbedded in the wall.

Once more Ranma backed off and examined his opponent. He was certain he had felt Gemma's bones break during the last series of exchanges. How could the big man move so effortlessly through the pain?

Gemma withdrew his fist from the wall and held it before him, allowing Ranma to see the injury the Devil has sustained from burying his fist in the wall. It was very bloody, with a piece of bone that had burst through the skin and was sticking out from the knuckles. Ranma watched the man smile, wondering what he was trying to prove, then saw it happen.

The bone moved back into place. Ranma was able to hear the grind of bones moving against one another and see the skin knit itself closed, all in less than three seconds. Gemma flexed the fist as though nothing had ever happened.

Ranma's mind was a whirl as he tried coming up with a tactic that might work. Gemma gave him no time to think as he once again charged full speed. The Devil managed to get a blow through Ranma's defense as the youth found it increasingly difficult to avoid the deceptively fleet, larger man. What blows he landed on Gemma had little effect, only serving to make him back off due to the impact of the blow.

Ranma thought about what to do. Every blow he had struck on Gemma was being healed almost as quickly as it had been landed. It was time to do something brutal. It was uncharacteristic of Ranma to fight someone with the intent to injure; excessive brutality was an anathema to him, or else he would have done something to remove Tarou and Mousse out of his life long ago, but that was all he could think of. At least Gemma truly deserved whatever happened to him.

There was an Amazon technique Shampoo had taught Ranma that he had never had the opportunity to use, or the desire since it involved breaking limbs. He caught Gemma's arm just the way he wanted to the next time the large man came in with a punch, then twisted, snapping both the radius and ulna. A kick into Gemma's leg was rewarded with the sound of a snap at the knee.

Gemma ignored the pain and hit Ranma with a backfist to the face. Both bones snapped into place with moments, leaving a smirking Gemma staring at Ranma.

"What does it take to stop you?!" Ranma gasped.

Gemma gave another snort of derision. "Nothing can stop me, boy. Certainly not you."

"We'll see about that!" Ranma unleashed another round of savage attacks against Gemma, who weathered the storm, landing a few blows of his own. Ranma was eventually forced to back off in pain. Unlike his foe, the injuries Ranma sustained were accumulating. Slowly, yet inexorably, he was losing the fight.

Brute force wasn't working so it was time to switch attacks again. As Gemma charged forward, Ranma leapt over the Devil's head and grabbed a nearby burning torch. As he landed he lashed out with the torch, striking Gemma across the face and eliciting a small grunt of pain from the Devil. A moment of revulsion cut through Ranma as he understood the full ramifications of what he had just done as he saw the scorched blackness of Gemma's face. Regret was replaced by frustration as Gemma's flesh healed before Ranma's eyes once more. He really had thought that attack would work.

"You're hardly worth the effort to fight." Gemma then placed his hands on his hips and began laughing.

Ranma felt his temper fray and lunged forward, intent on teaching Gemma a lesson. No one, from Tarou to Herb, treated Ranma like his martial arts were a joke.

Gemma went from his boisterous posturing to a deadly serious combat stance as he managed to get a secure handhold in Ranma. It was then Ranma realized that he had been tricked and that Gemma's boasts were nothing more than a ruse to lure Ranma into making himself vulnerable to the Devil's greater strength. It was the sort of thing Ranma would have done to Ryouga if he had thought about it.

Even as the air was squeezed out of his lungs Ranma concentrated. His own strength was far from insignificant, and with a tremendous burst of power he broke out of the bear hug. However, he was too slow in getting out of Gemma's reach as the Devil wrapped both hands around Ranma's neck and lifted him vertically off the ground, squeezing the air out of him.

Ranma tried everything to release the stranglehold. Blows on the arms that would have released even Ryouga's mighty grip were ignored as Gemma continued to choke the life out of Ranma. Gemma drove Ranma's back and head into one of the walls, causing more spots to be added to the ones that had come from the oxygen deprivation. Ranma's resistance was becoming weaker as he continued struggling in Gemma's grasp. He would get out of it. He was Ranma Saotome. He always came out on top in the end.

Always.

"It's the end, boy," Gemma simply gave Ranma a flat look as he continued to choke him. "You put up a pretty good fight, but you were hopelessly outmatched."

Ranma would have said something insulting if he was able. Instead he settled for meeting Gemma's eyes and staring at him in defiance. Ranma was damned if he would give Gemma the satisfaction of fear, even at the end. He was almost completely unconscious when he saw a gout of blood burst forth from Gemma's mouth.

"Is that a sword sticking out of your chest, or are you just happy to see me?" Shampoo said from her position from behind Gemma and into his ear. She had silently moved behind him, while he was choking Ranma, and ran her borrowed sword through Gemma's chest, right above the heart, making certain it did not go too far and skewer Ranma as well. She brought both hands on the hilt and drove with all of her strength downward, eviscerating Gemma as the sword cut clean through the ribcage and hip, coming out around Gemma's left thigh. He was effectively cut in half from the chest down.

Shampoo left the sword on the ground as she moved to examine her beloved. Ranma was gasping for breath and trying to ward Shampoo off at the same time.

"Let me help!" she said as she forced his hands away and tried to hold him. She made a mental note that that macho attitude of his had to go, or at least be modified a little, or they were going to have some difficult times ahead. Assuming they were going to have some times together.

"Akane was right. You are an idiot!" Earlier, once Shampoo had calmed down, she realized Ranma had set her up, no doubt in some misguided notion he was going to protect her from danger. She had hurried back at top speed and arrived just in time to see Ranma begin to close his eyes. Rage filled her as she instantly felt the urge to kill Gemma for what he dared to do to her beloved. And she had followed through on that urge. Hopefully Ranma would not alienate her for it. He had the oddest notion of what was right and wrong in matters of life and death, and might chastise for not trying to come up with a less final solution, never mind if it was the right thing to do.

Shampoo listened to Ranma begin to complain as he caught his breath, and was about to explain to him just how angry she was, when she noticed Ranma's eyes widen at something behind her. She was shoved by Ranma and found herself skidding several feet away. She recovered enough to see the impossible. The man she had nearly sliced in two had risen to his feet, apparently untouched, and had tried to run her through from behind with the very sword she had used to 'kill' him.

"What is he?" she said in awe.

Ranma ducked the sword swung at his head, then managed to disarm Gemma with a blow to the arm. "I don't know, but nothing I've tried to hurt him with lasts! He just keeps healing!"

"I'm indestructible." Gemma caught Ranma in the stomach with his forearm, winding him.

That snapped Shampoo out of her stupor as she launched herself at the big man. She struck him in the back of the legs and head repeatedly, inflicting enough damage to knock out a dozen men. Gemma's bones simply moved back into place as he attacked Shampoo all out, landing several blows as she began to grasp his battle strategy.

Ranma lashed out at Gemma's back this time, forcing him to turn his attention away from Shampoo. It was no surprise to him to see Gemma continue to recover from the blows almost as soon as they landed. Even with Shampoo helping to hurt the Devil, it still wasn't enough to prevent him from shaking off the effect of their combined attacks.

What compounded the problem was that Ranma began to feel himself slow down. Gemma's all out attack style pressed Ranma to move quickly to keep from being hit, burning up a lot of energy. His attacks used up a great deal of power as well, but it was a wasted effort since his opponent had yet to even slow down from any of the blows Ranma landed. Gemma's regeneration abilities did not seem to tire him out in the slightest. There had to be something he could do. Then it came to him.

"Shampoo, use that Amagurikan kick!" Ranma felt a twinge of remorse over what he was about to do, but he saw no other option than to use what might very well be a fatal technique on Gemma.

Ranma and Shampoo crossed each other's paths, setting up Gemma between them, one at his front and one at his back. The Devil's reaction was too late as Ranma hammered in the same spot on Gemma's chest, even as Shampoo nailed him from behind in the exact same spot with the 'Kick of Doom'. Neither paused as they brought fist and foot into Gemma hundreds, and then eventually thousands of times. Gemma's flesh was broken and Ranma had to shut out the fact his fist was within another human body, pounding away at the insides as blood splashed onto him. Eventually his attack was rewarded as he broke past the rib cage and seemed to strike an object within the chest cavity, and he could have sworn he felt the bottom of Shampoo's foot at the same time. He blanked out his mind for a moment and tried not to think about anything as he stopped striking at Gemma and looked to see his handiwork. He fought down the urge to vomit as he saw the gaping hole in Gemma's chest.

Then Gemma lashed out with a back kick towards Shampoo and a fist to Ranma at the same time. He connected with both, driving both of the youths back.

"I told you, I cannot be stopped." Though the pain in his chest from where the duo and pulped his heart hurt painfully, but the damage was already healing itself and would be completely gone in a few more seconds.

Ranma didn't give him the opportunity as he summoned his confidence to form a glow of blue between his hands and unleashed a more focused than usual version of the Moko Takabisha at his opponent's heart. The chi blast struck Gemma right on target, exiting through Gemma's back and almost striking Shampoo. Ranma watched as Gemma's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell over, motionless, a large gaping hole in his chest.

Shampoo tentatively walked over and lashed out at Gemma with her foot. There was no movement from the fallen man. She looked to Ranma. "Maybe I'd better cut off his head and make sure." That was when Gemma's hand locked around her ankle and pulled, knocking her off balance and onto the ground.

The Devil quickly rose to his feet as Ranma came in for a leap kick. Gemma threw Shampoo's form in front of him, leaving Ranma with no choice than to twist in mid-air and try to avoid Shampoo. He was only partially successful as he avoided landing the kick, but could not prevent his body from crashing into the Amazon's. The impact left Ranma temporarily stunned and nearly drove Shampoo into unconsciousness.

Gemma brutally hurled Shampoo head first into a nearby wall. As she slowly slumped to the ground the Devil quickly returned his attention to the more dangerous of the foes and grabbed Ranma by the throat once again.

"That hurt, boy," Gemma intoned menacingly as he stared deep into Ranma's eyes. "You'll pay for that."

It was Ranma's turn as Gemma drilled his head into a wall, once, twice, three times. Gemma paused long enough to survey the bloody damage he had inflicted. He took a moment to smirk, then barely had enough time to block the attempted blow Ranma directed to his face.

"That was a mistake!" Gemma drove Ranma's head into the stone wall repeatedly, and when the stone started to break, picked out a new spot to continue. He did not plan on stopping until all that was left was a bloody ruin in his hands.

{GEMMA!}

Gemma released Ranma as he held his own head in pain. The Shogun had never given a mental command that inflicted agony before.

"What?" he said through the feeling that needles were being driven through his brain.

{There is no time for delays! Get up to the cavern outside of my area immediately! There are two people approaching, and I sense great power within them! Power enough to possibly pierce my protected chamber!}

Gemma looked to Ranma's crumpled form. There should be enough time to-

{NOW!}

Gemma recoiled from the pain. He would run up to the upper cavern immediately and deal with the intruders. Ranma could be killed at a later time.

The Shogun continued to speak to Gemma's mind as the Devil ran to get to the main cavern outside the Shogun's final room. {They are too powerful for you to do away with them quickly. There is an alternate plan I have come up with that will keep them occupied long enough for me to complete the spell. I have already summoned Zakura, so here is all you will have to do...}

19:39

Slowly Shampoo got to her feet, her head continuing to ring painfully. And that annoying sound had just disappeared too. The initial explosion she had been caught in on the way to the mountain must have done more damage than Shampoo had originally had thought if Gemma could knock her out with such an insignificant blow. Well, with only one really powerful blow aimed at her head.

As she stood up she spotted Ranma's still form. Her heart seized up as she slowly went over to him. He couldn't be dead. He was Ranma. Slowly she turned him face up and saw the injuries he had sustained from having his head driven into a wall close to a dozen times. Numerous facial injuries were evident on his features, but she could hear a shallow breathing come from his mouth. There was nothing she could do to help him. The healing technique her great grandmother had taught her relied upon utilizing one's chi, and she had used all she could spare when she employed the Dragon's Scales defense.

She tried making sure Ranma was made as comfortable as was possible given his condition, and turned to take the passage she knew Gemma had left through, the one that led further up the mountain. Someone was going to die for what had happened to Ranma. Shampoo swore she would find a way to kill Gemma, no matter what. Everything could die. She just had to find the way.

18:12

Gemma hurried through the ankle deep water as he made his way to the uppermost cavern. There must have been yet another thunderstorm above Mount Phoenix. Early on the Bird People had made modifications to the mountaintop so that it would collect rainwater and allow it to flow into the mountain and down through the system of aqueducts and towards the populated interior. At first Gemma had wondered why there was an elaborately carved hole at the bottom of the passageway where it leveled off. It was only after the first of the Shogun's summoned thunderstorms that Gemma learned of the purpose behind them.

Unfortunately all the water did for him was slow him down. He was becoming concerned about making it to the top before the intruders did, when his ankle got caught in an unseen hole and he fell into the stream of water. He regained his footing and rushed at top speed to get there, wary of any other unseen inconveniences.

He made it up the rest of the way without incident. As he reached the main chamber a quick scan indicated that there was only one other in the room. Zakura must have taken one of the other two alternate ways in. No others had arrived yet, and the two huge bronze doors remained as they had since the Shogun had uncovered them. Gemma took note that Zakura was gazing into the seemingly bottomless chasm. He silently walked over to her.

"It's almost hypnotic," Zakura said softly and with an emotion Gemma had not heard pass from her lips ever before. It was the sound of awe.

"Indeed," he agreed. "The intruders will be here soon."

"What shall we do when they get here?" Zakura asked.

"Don't worry," Gemma responded flatly. "I have a plan."

17:40

Shampoo raced as fast as she could up the passageway. There was no way she would allow Gemma to elude her. His death was at his heels, even if he did not know it. She was almost to the main cavern when she slipped, falling into the water and triggering the transformation. Shampoo-kun raised himself back to his feet and rushed forward once more. He could practically smell Gemma before him.

Gemma and Zakura turned to see the newcomer splash his way through the passageway. He had locked his sight on Gemma as soon as he cleared the opening. Shampoo-kun gave a battle cry and ran straight for Gemma.

"He doesn't seem like he's all that dangerous," Zakura commented as she drew several throwing blades from her cloak.

"There is something that is familiar about him," Gemma said as he made a closer examination of the charging youth. The clothing was similar to the purple-haired girl that had attacked him before. He bore a strong resemblance to the girl as well. Perhaps they were brother and sister. They had the same eyes.

Shampoo-kun launched himself in the air towards Gemma. He was halfway there when Zakura at last threw her blades. The male Amazon had no choice but to dodge in mid-air...and right into Gemma's waiting arms. The Devil grabbed Shampoo-kun by the throat and choke-slammed him into the rock floor, next to the pit. The rock underneath the back of Shampoo-kun's head buckled as the world went dark once more.

Gemma maintained his choke-hold in Shampoo-kun, waiting for the boy to make a move. When none was forthcoming he cautiously let go and fell into a defensive stance, suspecting some kind of trick. When there was still no response, he turned to Zakura. "That was too easy."

"I agree. Perhaps he was cannon fodder."

"If so, he did not do his job well." Gemma was about to bend over and crush the windpipe of his fallen foe when two diminutive forms bounded into the room from one of the other passageways. Gemma spun around, and realized instantly these were the two that he had been warned about. Both he and Zakura prepared themselves for what was to come next.

15:28

Happosai heard Cologne give a sharp intake of breath when her eyes fell upon Shampoo-kun's form. His heart went out to her. Had he any children, and they were in a similar predicament, his response would have been the same.

"The boy's still breathing," he reassured her.

"I know."

He could tell by the tone in her voice she was now prepared to do anything to remove whatever obstacles were between her and her great-granddaughter. Happosai turned a more careful eye towards the duo before him. The woman was powerful, but insignificant when compared to he and Cologne. The big man was different. He wore the confidence of one used to dealing with power. There was also no question he radiated more power than the woman he was next to, but it still did not feel like it was anywhere near enough to pull off what had been done to the weather and who knew what else.

Gemma stared at them. "You are the two whom the Shogun warned me about. I believe he was correct when he said I would not be able to stop you in time with only my own prowess."

"The Shogun?" Happosai asked.

"Yes," Gemma said in a tired voice. "The Shogun of the Dark. I know you've come here to kill him, so you can drop the pretense of ignorance. You're not fooling anyone."

"To tell you the truth," Happosai answered. "We didn't have the faintest idea there was a Shogun of the Dark anywhere near here."

"Do you mean to tell me you just stumbled onto this place?" Gemma scoffed.

"Why yes, that's exactly what I meant."

Gemma raised an eyebrow at that. There wasn't any point in the old codger lying. There was going to be a fatal showdown no matter what. "I actually believe you. What a strange world we live in that you would be drawn to this place, here and now, right before the great change. How unfortunate you are too late to do anything about it."

"And just how do you intend to stop us?" Happosai asked as he watched Cologne ever so slowly inch her way towards Shampoo-kun. There was no way she could get there before the big man would notice, but every inch could make the difference between saving Shampoo-kun or being an instant too late. Besides, he still needed to have Shampoo pose in some sexy lingerie for him.

In answer to Happosai's question, Gemma turned to Zakura, placed a hand on her shoulder, and drew her in close. "This is where you come into the plan." In an instant he drove his hand into her chest, ripping into the flesh and beyond. He took no notice of the look of betrayal in her eyes as she died in his arms, instead he continued to force his hand into her chest as though searching for something.

Happosai and Cologne were momentarily stunned by the action. It was Happosai who first found his voice. "What was that supposed to accomplish, huh? Are you trying to intimidate us with the fact you'd murder your own people in cold blood?"

"Hardly." Gemma's eyes lit up as he at last brought out the object he had been seeking. He withdrew his hand from the dead woman's chest, pulling out a black pumping blob.

"See?" he said without a trace of humor to the corpse. "You did have a heart after all." Gemma returned his attention to the two ancient ones, taking note the old woman was edging her way closer to him. It did not matter. She would not be able to move fast enough to prevent him from doing what had to be done.

"What I intend to do is stop you from interfering in my master's plans with this." Gemma held Zakura's heart before them. "I was informed that I would not be able to delay you long enough with my own abilities. Hard to believe, but who am I to refute the Shogun? So he came up with a plan, a simple one. When my associate," he pointed to Zakura's body. "Was altered, all of her explosive power was centered into her heart. I intend to crush that heart, bringing this entire cavern down around us."

"That'll kill you too," Happosai pointed out as he saw Cologne edge to within striking distance. She was still too far away to prevent Gemma from crushing the heart before he could use it. Happosai had to keep the large man talking so he could buy her time.

"I'm immortal. Nothing can kill me. I'll just be incapacitated for a while until the Shogun digs me out. And if you should survive the rockfall, by the time you emerge the world will be ours. Trust me when I tell you you would be better off dead."

Happosai saw the muscles in Gemma's arm tensing up, and Cologne was still too far away to get to him in time. Happosai considered a desperate gamble, but it might distract Gemma long enough for Cologne to be able to prevent him from crushing the heart. "Maybe I can offer you something valuable in exchange for not blowing us all up."

Gemma's eyebrows raised at that. "Something greater than ruling Japan?"

"Yep. The most precious thing in the world." Happosai hoped Cologne was close enough since this was probably the one time they would be able to surprise the Devil, but judging by her distance from him it seemed unlikely. He went into his gi and brought out a white bra. "These were worn by the empress of Japan herself. Aren't they beautiful? Surely they're worth one little island nation."

Even Gemma, in all of his years, had not expected such an...offering. He was shocked for the briefest of moments, and it was during that instant that he was tackled from the side and knocked backward.

Happosai stared in surprise at the help from the unexpected quarter. He had seen Cologne tense up and prepare to spring at Gemma, when Shampoo-kun rose up from the floor and struck Gemma like a small missile. The impact of the youth knocked Gemma backward, but had not dislodged the heart from his grip.

Gemma was teetering off-balance, trying to regain it by pinwheeling his arms, when he realized what he was falling back into. He spared a glance over his shoulder only to see a gaping abyss beyond. With a surge of strength he attempted to maintain his balance and prevent himself from falling into the black pit. Time seemed to stop as every moment became an eternity, Gemma feeling himself on the edge of salvation or perdition. He felt himself almost regain his footing...then lost it as the boy's mass proved just a little too much for him to overcome. Both Gemma and Shampoo-kun, who was still gripping him by the waist, went over and into the dark void.

A surge of fear went through Cologne as she saw Shampoo-kun go over the side with Gemma. She rushed over as quickly as she could, but was too late. Both figures were falling at top speed, dwindling rapidly.

Shampoo-kun had tackled Gemma in a half-daze and was surprised to find himself suddenly falling forever. Instinctively he released Gemma and lashed out with his foot, hurling himself away from Gemma and towards the side of the pit wall. Shampoo-kun had almost regained his senses when the briefest instance of pain struck him in the back of his neck and his fall stopped abruptly. He paused for a moment to regain his bearings. Had he hit bottom? He tried moving his head, but discovered he could not. It did not feel as though anything was immobilizing it, so he tried using his hands to remove any obstructions, but found they would not move either. Worse, he could not feel them at all. His legs were the same way.

An explosion came up from the below Shampoo-kun, temporarily distracting him. Once his mind returned to the situation, a feeling of dread began to build as he realized he could not feel anything below his neck, and the memory of one brief instant of pain, and where it had been located, as well as the fact there was now no longer any pain from that area, made him slowly come to understand what might have happened to him.

10:24

Happosai knew he wasn't any good at sentimentality, but he tried to reassure Cologne as she gazed, expressionless, at the abyss. He placed his hand on her shoulder, but if she felt it she made no outward sign of it.

"There's no way she could have survived."

Cologne continued to gaze. Still no emotion passed on her face. It was almost thirty seconds later when she at last spoke. "I have to know."

"Col-chan," he tried to soothe her. There was no need for her to have to see the crushed form of one of her progeny. From the height he had fallen, there would be nothing left of Shampoo-kun. Nothing recognizable, anyway.

"I have to know!" And with that she began hopping down the side of the pit, deftly using her cane in some obscure technique to catch onto seemingly insignificant cracks along the sides of the pit. Never once did she hesitate or show any signs of fear as she seemingly defied gravity and rushed down, deeper into the eternal blackness.

Happosai shook his head, then followed using a similar technique but without the cane. Happosai noted that the Shogun had managed to buy himself some time, just not in the manner the fiend had anticipated. The old master prayed there was enough time for Cologne to make her peace with what had happened and recover enough to assist in gaining revenge against the man that had caused all of their problems and cost so many their lives.

By his estimation they were two hundred feet down when Cologne shouted out excitedly that she had seen Shampoo. Happosai hopped down to the ledge that Cologne had stopped on to see Shampoo-kun's form was indeed there, one arm and leg dangling limply over a ledge barely large enough to support his body. The sounds of crying were coming from Shampoo-kun as he spoke to his great grandmother. As Happosai drew closer he made out the words through the tears. The dark-haired boy was saying something about not being able to move.

Happosai moved onto the ledge with them. The look Cologne gave him said all he needed to know, though she told him anyway.

"Her back is broken in several places. The damage is too great. There's nothing I can do for her. Do you know anything...?"

As she trailed off he saw the look of pleading in her eyes, another thing Happosai had seen only when they were both in the bloom of their youth. He was no lay healer, but there were some tricks he had picked up over the years. He used his chi to carefully examine all of Shampoo-kun's body, centering the most intense scrutiny on the area of the neck and back. The were several breaks, the worst being located high in the neck. if it had been a little higher Shampoo-kun would have died instantly. As it was, Happosai wasn't certain he was going to survive anyway. "There's nothing I can do either."

"Y...you mean I can't move ever again?" Shampoo-kun barely managed to get out.

"There is some way," Cologne tried to reassure him. "We just need time to discover it."

"Time is something we don't have," Happosai reminded her by looking upward. "If we don't do something soon, that Shogun fellow is going to do whatever it is he's been up to. We have to stop him. We're the only ones left that can."

"DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!" Shampoo-kun cried out. He didn't want to die alone, like Mr. Domino said. He had to get out, had to survive.

Cologne's stare almost burned a hole through Happosai. "I won't leave her here. She has to come back up with us." Her gaze softened somewhat. "I know a way I can get her up to the top quickly. I just need you to see to it we don't damage her spine anymore than it already is. Can you do that?"

Happosai considered it. "There is a way, but it's risky. It might not work, or it might cause her muscles to seize up so her heart stops or she can't breathe."

"If we leave her here she'll die anyway. Do it."

Happosai sighed. There was a life on the line so he was going to have to risk it. Slowly he eased his hand underneath Shampoo-kun's neck and used his chi in combination with a pressure point to stiffen the muscles while preventing the bones from shifting. In theory it should work. In reality any part of it could fail. It was not the sort of thing he had practiced a lot with.

"I need you to provide some hot chi, Happi," Cologne commanded as she began to glow blue in power.

"You sure don't ask for much, do you!" Now he was going to have to try to do two things at once. Even for him it was no simple task. Concentrating he released the hot chi as she asked. As soon as it permeated the air around them he saw her prepare a modified Hiryuu Shoutan Ha, without employing a spiral. Slowly he felt both himself and Shampoo-kun start to rise in the air.

Cologne began to perspire as she concentrated furiously on keeping the winds steady. If they moved too violently even Happosai would be unable to keep Shampoo-kun from dying. Higher and higher they went. Cologne found her concentration failing as they rose towards the top. The strain was proving more than she thought she could handle. The mini-cyclone faltered and she found all three of them begin a slow decent towards the bottom of the pit.

"NO!" Summoning every bit of skill she had she exerted herself to the fullest, forcing herself and her passengers up at twice the speed of before, ascending above the mouth of the pit and to the floor of the cavern. Cologne sank to her knees in exhaustion.

4:30

Happosai started to move towards her. Cologne saw the movement and regained her composure, appearing on the outside like the matriarch she was. "I am fine. Exerting that kind of precise control is tiring, that's all."

Happosai shrugged. "Not bad. I could have done better though."

Cologne kept her commentary to herself and bent down to examine Shampoo-kun. As she used her chi to help evaluate her great granddaughter's condition, she sensed the full extent of the damage. For all of her careful handling on the way up, the matriarch had still added to the injury, the spine shifting ever so slightly on the way up. But there had been no other way. Shampoo-kun could not have remained where he was.

Happosai turned from the two and examined the huge bronze doors before him. They were magical. He could feel tremendous power rippling forth from them. "I'm going to need your help knocking on these doors."

Cologne turned from Shampoo-kun and gazed at the doors too. "Magic wards and protections. We could try to circumvent them."

"Except I don't think we have enough time." Happosai scratched his chin in thought. "We'll have to try brute force. You feel up to it?"

In answer Cologne's aura flared around her. Happosai nodded in agreement and did the same. The two of them combined should be able to shatter the doors. He possessed more raw power than Cologne, but she had a precision that he lacked. For a moment he was remorseful that things hadn't worked out between them. They could have been unbeatable together. Too bad she had been so close minded about the underwear thing.

Shampoo-kun temporarily forgot about his predicament as he bore witness to a display of power the likes of which he had never seen before. Both old masters gave off huge battle auras: Happosai's was red while Cologne's was blue. He saw his great-grandmother's hair raise itself on an unfelt wind, and Happosai shimmer with force. Then he saw them release their power.

Happosai red aura lashed out first, eliciting a loud boom which deafened all in the room, but the doors seemed unaffected by the display. He kept up the attack, allowing Cologne's blue aura to strike as well, though it was more focused, and encompassed only the door's handles. Still there was no reaction. The doors remained intact.

Happosai was amazed; not an easy feat for anyone to do to one that had seen and done as much as the old master, but the Shogun had achieved it without even putting in an appearance. Happosai continued pumping every bit of energy he had into the twin bronze doors before him. They had to give in, had to break. Nothing could withstand the sheer amount of power he was unleashing. He turned slightly to see Cologne. She had remained silent as she continued to unleash her own power at the door. She had to be almost out of power. Between the dead bodies, raising Shampoo-kun out of the pit, and what she was doing now, she had to be close to the breaking point. And without her power assisting him he was never going to get through the door.

He had to do something immediately. One powerful, if risky, gambit. Still, if he had wanted to play it safe he would not have set out on the course he had taken his entire life. So he released nearly all of his chi in one bolt of pure force.

As he unleashed it he felt a sharp pain in his chest. That was not good. His body was too old, and such tremendous use of power could possibly cause irreparable damage. If he had been in his prime there would have been no complications, but if he allowed himself to use too much of his chi or lost control, he would be little more than the helpless little old man he appeared to be.

As the bolt struck the door, he felt the magic around them dwindle away. Slowly he allowed his aura to die off, and saw Cologne doing the same. The cavern was silent as Happosai sensed the last of the magic disappear. With the last remnant of the energy gone, the doors opened on their own. Beyond the door he saw a dark passageway that twisted out of sight almost immediately.

"Well, that was exhilarating. Let's go." He began to move for the doors when he saw Cologne remain standing next to Shampoo-kun. She looked old. For the first time since he had made his reacquaintance with her she looked her age. But what was worse was the look in her eyes as she gazed upon Shampoo-kun. It was a look of helplessness.

"I can't go, Happi," she said softly. "I won't fail her again. I'll remain here."

"I understand." There was nothing else to say. He'd simply have to take care of matters personally. Besides, that meant he could get full satisfaction from dealing with this Shogun of the Dark all by himself. There was a feeling of joy in that. He lacked the energy to bounce as he usually did, so he settled for moving at a brisk pace down the corridor.

Cologne gazed sadly at her great grandchild. She had failed Shampoo at every point during the whole sordid affair involving the Nanniichuan. First in blindly obeying the law, then later when she did not try hard enough to obtain some kind of cure for her, and later still when she did not take appropriate steps to protect Shampoo from her fellow sisters. Failure after failure with nothing remotely resembling a victory, and now whatever destiny Shampoo had to fulfill was over. The time for denial was past as Shampoo-kun's breath became more ragged. He would expire soon. Cologne's own flesh and blood was going to die before her eyes, and she was helpless.

Cologne had been spared the sight of her only daughter's death. It had been while she was in a training journey, bettering herself in the art. Rain had never had good health, so it was not that much of a shock for Cologne to discover upon her return that her daughter had died of pneumonia. Still, it had hurt deeply, not that she openly showed it, not even to her husband. Cologne kept it to herself, all the pain and regret. And the most horrible thing about Rain's death was that she had not had a chance to say good-bye.

Now she was going to outlive more of her offspring. Shampoo was so young. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Cologne was going to set up Shampoo's life so it would be a long and assured one. A life of respect and importance where she would make a difference. A life meant to be enjoyed. All cut short because of a madman and his insane plans.

Or maybe it was that damned spring's fault.

Yes. All of the problems of late could be traced back to that. Law or no, Nanniichuan was going to be vaporized the first opportunity Cologne had. IT was responsible for the ruination of so many lives. IT caused Shampoo's life to be cut short, and IT would exist not a moment longer than IT had to. Hu Chiang may have been practically worshipped as a goddess, but she had been wrong in leaving such a dangerous thing intact. No longer. IT was destroyed, if not in fact yet, but soon. Very soon.

"Great grandmother. Don't cry."

Cologne looked down at the boy before her. The first time she understood that the male before her was Shampoo, she had loathed the form. It was something that had taken her great granddaughter and all of her potential away from her. It was evil and needed to be destroyed for what it had done. It was an abomination that should not have existed, and would not if the matriarch could have done something about it. But no longer. It was Shampoo. As much as Shampoo's girl's body was Cologne's great granddaughter, so was the man before her.

Cologne finally reacted to what Shampoo-kun had said. Crying? She didn't cry. Then she felt the tear on her cheek. She was crying. How...unexpected. Offhand she could not recall the last time she had cried, but under the circumstances it was all right.

"Then I shall not," Cologne answered. There was a look on Shampoo-kun's face that wasn't there before. At first it held panic when the old woman had spotted the body on he ledge, then denial. But when they brought Shampoo-kun back out of the pit, he had gone quiet. Now there was a different look upon his face. No fear. No panic. Just an easiness. It took a moment for Cologne, in her emotional state, to identify it.

It was acceptance.

"The one responsible for this is beyond those doors, isn't he?" Shampoo-kun asked.

"Yes. But don't worry. I won't abandon you. I'll stay with you until..." She found she could not finish with '...until the end.'

"No. He has to be stopped, and there's nothing you can do to help me anymore."

Cologne heard no fear or sorrow in the raspy voice. It was getting difficult for Shampoo-kun to speak. "I won't abandon you, child."

"You didn't. You never did." Shampoo-kun answered. Then amazingly, smiled. "I...prepared myself in case this happened. I'm just glad I took that bastard that hurt Ranma with me." He felt pride in that. Gemma had paid for his crimes. "There's several things I want you to do for me, then you should go help the little pervert."

Cologne shook her head. "He can handle himself. My place is to stay at your side."

Shampoo-kun tried to shake his head, then was painfully reminded of his paralysis. "I'm going to die soon. It's getting harder to breathe, and it's only going to get worse. But you can still help the others. The Shogun's minions were powerful. He's going to be even worse, and the pervert didn't look so good." Shampoo-kun wanted to grasp his great grandmother's hand for emphasis, but that was a desire that eluded him. "If we fail because you stayed here with me, how can my soul ever know peace?" It was odd how he could talk so matter-of-factly about his impending death. He wondered how could one have such a feeling of serenity so close to the end.

Cologne found herself admiring Shampoo-kun's spirit, in spite of the sorrow of the situation. Was it wrong of her to feel such pride now? "You are certain?"

"Yes."

Cologne nodded, and she hoped the spirits would show as little mercy upon the Shogun's soul as she was going to show upon his flesh. "What is it you want me to do?"

Shampoo-kun spoke as quickly as he could. His strength was failing. "I'm not sure how Ranma's going to react to my..." she searched for a tactful word. "...absence. Please make sure he doesn't do anything rash. He's really got some odd ideas in his head about the way things should be and what he should do when things go out of control around him. He can really be stupid sometimes, even for a male. I still can't figure him out, even after all of this time," he lamented.

"What else?" Cologne asked, mentally vowing to do what it took to keep Ranma healthy and intact.

"Kasumi's a lot more sensible, so she should be all right, but keep an eye on her too. And tell her I'm sorry for leaving her like this." Shampoo-kun considered remaining silent about the next thing, but realized there was no longer any reason to hold anything back. "Tell her that weekend we spent together was the most wonderful of my life."

Cologne refrained from asking exactly what was meant by that.

"Tell my parents good-bye," Shampoo-kun said, then it was time for the last farewell. She barely managed to choke it out, it hurt so much to say. "Tell Ranma that I loved him. Make sure he knows. And say that I'm sorry I didn't tell him sooner. I wanted..." he trailed off. There was not enough time to say everything. "Tell him I always loved him, even if it took me a while to understand that."

Cologne nodded once more. She heard the finality in Shampoo-kun's voice. There was only one thing left.

"And last, I want you to change me back into a girl."

Cologne shook her head at that. "The change will kill you!"

"It'll speed up what is already going to happen. I want to die with the body I was born with. Please."

How could she deny a dying request? Cologne brought out a flask of water she had been keeping, in case it was needed to change Shampoo, and used hot chi to warm it. Her hand almost faltered as she held it above Shampoo-kun's form, told herself it was her great granddaughter's final wish, and poured it.

Instantly Shampoo-kun's form switched back, the backbone compressing and spinal cord taking further damage. Ragged gasps came from Shampoo's mouth as she felt her lungs failing her. She did not want her great grandmother to see her like this. Not like this.

"L...leave," she barely managed to get out.

Cologne nodded and moved to follow Happosai's trail. Shampoo did not want anyone to witness the end. Cologne understood, but someone at the end of the tunnel was going to pay.

No matter what.

:25

The Shogun looked desperately down the darkened corridor. He could sense the approach of one of the powerful ones. Gemma had failed him! The fool! The much-vaunted leader of the Devils of Kimone was going to know an existence so tortuous he would beg to be placed back in his Golden Hell, and never receive it. He would pay.

:20

But that was for later. What mattered was the one that was coming down the corridor. The handful of puny traps within the corridor only slowed him down, but not enough. They were designed only to allow the Shogun time to prepare for unwelcome guests. Anyone powerful enough to get through the doors would have to be dealt with by the Shogun personally.

:15

But that was assuming the Shogun had some power left, and that he wasn't at such a critical juncture.

:12

He looked down at the unconscious winged girl that shared the center of the elaborate design with him. She was the sacrifice necessary to fuel the spell, and there was only a matter of moments before he would drive the dagger through her heart and all of his dreams would come true.

:10

He was afraid to take his eyes off the corridor. His magical senses were gone. He had enough power left for one blast, nothing more, and as long as he watched the only entrance, nothing could get past and interfere with the spell. Why was the one taking so long to show himself? The Shogun could kill him and be done with the whole matter. Why couldn't Gemma have held the powerful one's attention for one minute more?

:8

He should have arrived by now. Either the last trap had claimed the intruder's life or he was waiting for an opportunity to strike. All he had to do was come through the opening and die.

:5

Come through the opening.

:4

Come through the opening.

:3

Come through now.

:2

It was the moment of truth

:1

Now.

0

After five thousand years, the time had come. He could contain himself no longer. The Shogun of the Dark raised his dagger high, then took his eyes off the corridor to bring the dagger down directly into the girl's heart. If it was off the sacrifice would not work.

Then the Shogun saw a blur of red burst from the corridor. He sent forth his blast, narrowly missing the figure by more than an inch.

It might as well have been a mile.

The red blur moved faster than the Shogun's eye could follow, snatching the girl from the center of the circle without ever touching the ground, save at the center with the Shogun. Before he could further react the blur leaped out of the circle and latched onto a nearby wall. He had not touched any point of the magic circle. It was still intact.

Now that the blur had stopped, the Shogun identified it as a small troll-like human. And he had the girl. No sacrifice. No spell. And he had to activate the spell within the next two minutes or it would take another five thousand years for the conditions to be right again.

"Listen to me," the Shogun intoned. "I will grant you whatever wish you want if you give me the girl."

"Get real!" Happosai scoffed. "I'd never allow you to hurt a pretty young thing like this for some insane scheme for power!"

"Please!" the Shogun pleaded for the first time in five thousand years. "I will give you all the women you want! Power! Glory! Wealth! Fame! Your youth! You can have your own country! Your own continent! Any of those things! All of those things! Just give me the girl and it's yours!"

"If I wanted any of those things I'd have taken them for myself," Happosai declared, while making certain the girl was all right. "You have a lot to answer for. First for the deaths of all those people that used to live in this mountain, and then for some pretty young girls you've harmed! I'll just take this one to safety, and then I'll come back and deal with you."

The Shogun's mind raced. He could not step out of the circle without ruining the spell. There was no magic left in him. He could not take back the sacrifice. His minions were gone. He could wait another five thousand years, not a real option, or he could do the final alternative.

No choice at all.

The last act the Shogun of the Dark did in his lifetime was to plunge his dagger deep into his heart.

Happosai's eyes bulged from what the Shogun had done. Was it some kind of trick to catch him off guard, or had the masked man really killed himself? Happosai watched red blood flow from around the knife and onto the ground. It appeared real, but he was not going to get any closer until he somehow made certain. Maybe the Shogun was invulnerable to bleeding to death or something.

Happosai started to leave with the girl when he heard a faint whisper come from the Shogun's form. It was only one word, but seemed to whisper directly into Happosai's ears. Just one last word before the Shogun of the Dark breathed his last.

"Maelstrom."

Within the mountain, Yurimaru and Mujuru's life forces suddenly lost their link with their bodies, and each one died, their souls returning to the Hell from whence they came. The Shogun had not been lying when he had told them they lived only by the grace of him.

The life energy from the sacrifice followed the path of magic the Shogun had laid forth earlier. It would travel forth, unseen by all but the most powerful occultist or mage. In seconds the energy covered the miles to its destination: Jusenkyou.

It was four thousand three hundred years ago, approximately four months after the Goddess Azura stumbled into one of the pools, permeating it with her essence but not killing her, that Jusenkyou became 'alive'. The sheer power of the Goddess somehow mutated with the unusual magic of Jusenskyou and the shadows of the souls of those that had drowned there formed an awareness. A unique form of magical life that lacked physical form, but was alive nonetheless. It was a sort of group collective, at first hundreds of minds, human and animal, later close to a thousand as various pools began to be templated with others. It was aware of itself and its abilities, and it was aware of the true source that fueled the 'cursed' springs of Jusenkyou. Not Jusendo, which had strange properties that added to the effects of the springs, but to the thing that was linked to the chi reservoir beneath the earth, and to the pools, all of which were linked to the reservoir. It was what provided the energy that allowed the pools to remain in their magical state and allowed the thing that was Jusenkyou to live. Fortunately, the thing was unaware of the collective intelligence. Somehow the collective knew if the thing became aware of its existence it would try to destroy the undesired product of the springs. So the collective did nothing.

It was content, remaining as it was with a new creature being added to the collective every now and then. It could sense things beyond its borders. All around the world, in fact, but it did nothing. There was no reason to. It simply was.

Then, five years later, came the young girl in blue robes whose upper face was shrouded in eternal shadows. She plunged her entire arm into the Spring of Drowned Aardvark, but nothing happened. Somehow she had remained unchanged. And when she had plunged her arm into the spring, she communicated directly with the collective consciousness.

She said, "Gaze into the weave of fate that you are a part of." And it was as though the collective's 'eyes' were opened for the first time. The girl had given it the ability to see the probabilities that flowed from it, and others that could affect Jusenkyou itself. Lines of fate became a whole new world for the collective to understand. And it was in danger. There were those that would enslave the springs for their own ends, or inadvertently destroy them in mad schemes of conquest and power. Or just by accident while tapping into unknown forces.

The thing that was Jusenkyou began exerting control over its surroundings. It could always have done such things, but had no reason to before. Now it had to act and react to preserve its existence. And it did so, keeping out many that would have stumbled upon the valley and tried to abuse its powers. Those that could not affect the springs at all were allowed to come and go without being influenced, while yet others were summoned from the far corners of the earth and ended up in a certain cursed pool to help ensure the preservation of the springs in a myriad of ways. No cures would be discovered by those until they fulfilled whatever function was required of them, and all too often they chose divergent paths that failed to produce what results Jusenkyou wanted. It could only influence the lives of those whose destinies could end up in Jusenkyou, but it did so as often as it was able. Somehow, despite those failures and some of the outside world discovering the whereabouts of the springs, it managed to survive.

That was until Herb did the unexpected and prevented the Jusenkyou cursed assassin, Shang Lung, from killing the Shogun of the Dark. That had upset everything. It was an abysmal chance, somewhere around one in five thousand, that Herb would interfere. Jusenkyou had seen to it that the Musk's ancestry, and specifically Herb's line, was bred with the traits of dragons, their inherent self-centeredness helping to influence Herb and keep him from interfering. But he had, and with the Shogun alive, Jusenkyou's chances of survival were reduced to almost nothing.

It was ironic that Herb eventually randomly came to Jusenkyou and received his own curse, but by then his existence was irrelevant. His continued presence could neither help nor hurt Jusenkyou in the long run. The only remote thing that could happen was that he might inadvertently aid in avenging the destruction of the springs, and it was an even more remote chance than him interfering with Shang Lung. The avenger was destined to go to Jusenkyou, thanks to Herb's interference ironically enough. So when the time came it gave the possible avenger the curse it would need to succeed in its task. It had also given that avenger a gift it might exploit should it prove successful in its unknowing mission of vengeance. It was the least Jusenkyou could do for its last chance at revenge.

The collective did not give up hope. It tried to prevent its destruction by cursing individuals so that their paths of destiny might interfere with that of the Shogun, like The Great Grond and others, but they all failed. If Herb could stop them, the Devils would have been able to do it was well. Fate allowed no deviations there. And now the last option had failed. The Shogun had cast the spell. After over four millennia of life, it was over.

The life-force of the Shogun of the Dark went through the ground and directly to the true source of Jusenkyou. That was all it took as the chi reservoir was drained of all of its energy within moments. As the last drop of chi was drained and the reservoir ran dry, Jusenkyou felt the magic that fueled its life ripped away, the source at last achieving its goal. And as the last link between it and Jusenkyou shredded, the collective that was Jusenkyou gave voice to itself for the first time since it had come into existence.

It screamed with a nearly a thousand different voices, loud enough for people a hundred miles away to hear. Then it ceased to exist.

Deep within the earth, far beneath Jusenkyou, the thing that Tajamata Nital had sensed and had ended up costing him his life, felt energy fill it. For the first time in five thousand years full awareness returned to the slumbering one.

Deep within the earth, an eye opened.

The Jusenkyou Guide and Plum rushed up from their basement and outside to see what the horrible noise had been. The ringing sensation in their ears from the screaming was only now finally starting to fade, but the memory of it would haunt them for the rest of their lives. Nothing should have been able to scream like that. It defied the fundamental laws of nature.

"Poppa," Plum said, obviously scared. "What was that?"

"I'm not sure." The Guide was about to say something else when the earth suddenly shook, knocking both he and Plum off of their feet. Slowly they rose, only to suffer another shake.

"It's an earthquake!" Plum shouted.

A third shake, more powerful than the others, hit. "No," The Guide answered carefully. "It doesn't feel right. It's more like a large impact. Like a rocket being blown up or-" He was cut off as a fourth, then fifth shake hit. Once more he regained his feet, then stared in shock at the scene before him.

Almost two miles away, at the far end of the springs, a gout of brown and black earth and stone shot up through the air, destroying many of the springs. As some of the dust from the eruption cleared, he saw that the black part was neither earth not stone, but something long and snake-like, with a blue glow around it, that extended from the ground itself. It waved around in the air, hundreds of feet high. It began to get longer as more of the earth was shattered and more of the snake-like thing burst forth from the ground. There was no head on it, rather it ended in a point, but appeared to the Guide as though it was a thing alive, never mind the fact there was nothing on the earth that could possibly be that long.

As his mind was reeling from the thing before him, he felt the most powerful shake yet hit practically under his feet. He grabbed onto his daughter, only to feel the rumbling continue rather than drift away. He saw the ground not more than twenty feet away from him begin to swell, then the earth there split apart as well, destroying the springs of Drowned Hippopotamus, Female Bengal Tiger, Television Game Show Host, and Mongoose fighting Cobra all in one motion. At last the Guide understood what it was that had burst from the far end of the springs as a black thing raised itself from the earth. It was not some kind of snake.

It was a tail.

And right before him was the head on the other end of that creature that the tail had been connected to. It was huge, glowing blue, ninety feet wide and as far back across, and its mouth was large enough to effectively swallow a bus whole without a problem. The Guide could do nothing but stare in mute horror as the rest of the body rose from the earth, destroying well over four fifths of the springs as it emerged into the light for the first time in five millennia.

As it dragged the rest of its body out of the earth, it stood on two of its hind legs, then it spread wings, over a mile in length, high in the sky. Without bothering to tense its muscles, it simply launched itself to the skies and took off, wings flapping and aiding in gaining height. As two point three miles of the black-scaled, blue glowing creature took to the skies and headed towards the focus it could sense, one word was heard within the minds of everyone within a hundred mile radius.

{FREE!}

Maelstrom, the last of the Dragon Kings, was awake once again.

And the world would never be the same.

Mount Phoenix:

Cologne had been making her way down the corridor, almost to the Shogun's cave, when she heard the voice in her head. She paused, trying to understand what had just happened, when she sensed something powerful beyond comprehension approaching.

Happosai was still staring at the Shogun's corpse when he heard the voice in his head. He wondered if it was safe to leave the small cave when he sensed the arrival of something radiating pure power.

Shampoo's vision was getting darker as she lay there. Mr. Domino had been correct. She was going to die alone in the dark, suffering, and without ever hearing Ranma say those words she had so longed to hear from his voice.

Tarou-bull barely managed to squeeze out of the passageway as he forced his way into the cavern which contained the bronze doors that had once led to the Shogun of the Dark. Akane muscled her way past him.

"If you weren't so big and couldn't fit through those passageways we'd have been here a lot sooner." She looked the room over for any opponents, then spotted a still figure off to the side of a large opening in the floor. "Is that Sh-" The rest of her question was cut off as a huge rumble came from overhead and the top of the mountain collapsed, sending tons of rock into the upper caves.

Akane stared in shock at the rapidly descending ceiling. The last thing she was aware of was being hurled to the floor.

Then nothing.

Maelstrom landed hard upon the top of the mountain, then roared at the skies as he made himself comfortable on the top of the center of the magical focus: Mount Phoenix. His hatred knew no bounds as he gazed at the world before him. Soon, humanity would be made to pay for its crimes, and all of them would suffer tortures no human mind could comprehend.

Soon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Special Thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Ben Follis  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Gary Kleppe  
Miashara  
Wade Tritschler


	37. The Dreams of a Dragon King

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2

Chapter 37

The Dreams of a Dragon King

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the actual Ranma 1/2 characters.

.

What happened last chapter:  
Casualties mounted as the Nerima crew took on the Eight Devils Kimone. The Devils were defeated, but the Shogun of the Dark successfully cast his spell, sacrificing his own life, to release the last of the Dragon Kings: Maelstrom. And now the final phase of Maelstrom's master plan has begun...

This {} indicates telepathy

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Happosai slowly pushed the boulder away from above his head. The girl he had saved felt as though she was okay. Her breathing was regular and there were no outward signs of injury. Still, she needed fresh air. Besides, Happosai had spent more than enough time buried under the earth, thanks to those two buffoons that he called students. And he still had not properly shown his gratitude for their generosity. Perhaps strapping explosives on them then sealing them in a cave for a decade would give them a new perspective on things.

He was about to drag the girl from the protective hollow he had formed by redirecting the falling boulders, when he sensed the tremendous amount of chi energy directly in front of him. He must have been truly exhausted not to notice it immediately. He turned his head to see...

...A huge green eye with a black vertical pupil in the center five times his height staring right at him.

The eye, and head it was attached to, backed up, allowing the old master to see what was before him. Over two miles of dragon that was so loaded down with chi energy it was threatening to burn out Happosai's senses.

{SO, ONE OF THE HUMAN MAGGOTS YET LIVES!} The voice sounded in Happosai's mind. It was not so much shouting, as much as forcing the words into the old pervert's mind, overriding everything else.

Confronted with something that could accidentally kill him by sneezing, the old lecher did the only thing he could do.

"Please don't kill me! I'm old and gnarled and would make a lousy meal!" He said in a performance of groveling that would have made Genma proud.

Maelstrom examined him for a second, as though considering his words. For the briefest of moments Happosai felt something touch his mind, then the soft touch left as quickly as it arrived.

{YOU ARE SINCERE, EXCELLENT!} The Dragon King smiled, showing teeth over ten feet long, that unnerved Happosai further. {IT IS RARE ONE OF YOUR KIND SHOWS PROPER SUBSERVIENCE. CONTINUE TO GROVEL WELL AND YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO SURVIVE FOR A WHILE LONGER. I WOULD HAVE A HARBINGER TO SPEAK OF WHAT HAPPENED ON THIS DAY, THE DAY THAT MARKED THE DOWNFALL OF HUMANITY!}

Happosai could feel the satisfaction from the touch in his mind. If this dragon was telling the truth, then humanity might truly be doomed. Never before had he been confronted with...power. And that was what it was. Power! The size of the dragon. The chi it gave off. All of it made the creature invincible.

Happosai himself was far from full strength, after having used so much to destroy the undead, save Shampoo, and break down the doors to the Shogun of the Dark's cave, he was nearly out of power. It was by far the lowest level he had been at for years. And even at full strength, or twenty times his normal power level, he would still have been unable to do anything to the creature before him. How had such a thing remained hidden? Anything that powerful would have been spoken of by others.

There was nothing he or anyone else could do. For the first time that since he was a young lad he was truly helpless. His mind raged as he tried to exert some control over his situation. "What's your name?"

{MY TRUE NAME IS UNPRONOUNCEABLE TO YOUR TONGUE. MAELSTROM IS THE CLOSEST APPROXIMATION IN YOUR LANGUAGE. I AM THE LAST OF THE DRAGON KINGS.} Maelstrom gazed skyward, searching the heavens for something. {THERE IS STILL SOME TIME BEFORE I CAN IMPLEMENT THE LAST PART OF MY PLAN. NO ONE INTERFERED WITH MY APPROACH. NOT THAT I BELIEVED ANYONE COULD TRULY STOP ME, BUT IT WAS A NECESSARY PRECAUTION.}

Maelstrom turned his gaze to Happosai once more. {IT HAS BEEN FIVE THOUSAND YEARS SINCE I LAST TRULY 'TALKED' WITH SOMEONE. I FEEL THE URGE TO...BOAST ABOUT WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. THE SHOGUN OF THE DARK COULD HAVE FULFILLED THAT ROLE, IF HE WERE STILL ALIVE. HOW UNFORTUNATE HE DID NOT SURVIVE THE AWAKENING. PERHAPS I SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT?}

It was almost as though he were asking Happosai, but somehow the old man knew better. Did the dragon know of his role in the Shogun's demise?

Maelstrom seemed to smile. It was hard to tell with the mouth as enormous as it was. There was no way to get a proper perspective from that close of a range. {BUT THAT IS FOR AFTERWARDS. NOW THERE IS ONLY TIME TO ACHIEVE MY GREATEST DREAM AND CRUSH THE PARASITE THAT IS HUMANKIND!}

Happosai continued to cringe, though his mind searched for some way out. Keep the dragon talking. That might be the best answer. "I'd be delighted to hear your story."

Happosai heard the amused chuckle in his head. {YOU WILL MOST LIKELY RUN AWAY IN TERROR WHEN YOU FIND OUT WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO YOUR ILK. STILL, YOU MAY YET ENTERTAIN ME BY QUAKING IN FEAR WHEN YOU DISCOVER WHAT HAS HAPPENED WITH MY AWAKENING!}

Happosai felt images forced into his mind. It was more detailed that any dream he had ever had. It was almost as though he was living the scenes as they were revealed to him. The world transformed as Maelstrom began to 'speak'.

{IN THE BEGINNING THERE WERE THE DRAGON KINGS. EVEN WE DO NOT TRULY UNDERSTAND HOW WE CAME INTO EXISTENCE. OUR ORIGIN WAS ONE OF THE FEW THINGS THAT ELUDED US. OH, WE DISCOVERED THE BONES OF A PREVIOUS SPECIES OF CREATURES, THE THINGS YOU CALL DINOSAURS, BUT THEY WERE FAR TOO INFERIOR FOR OUR KIND TO HAVE COME FROM THEM. NO. OUR BEGINNINGS CAME FROM SOMETHING ELSE ALTOGETHER.}

{BUT THAT DID NOT MATTER. WE WERE. WE EXISTED. THAT WAS ALL THAT WAS RELEVANT. THERE WERE NOT MANY OF MY KIND. LESS THAN A HUNDRED. WE SPREAD OUT ACROSS THE FACE OF THE EARTH, EACH ONE CLAIMING A SECTION OF IT FOR OURSELVES.}

In his mind. Happosai saw the other mile-long Dragon Kings. Each was unique and ran the full gamut of colors and scale patterns. There were no two that looked the least bit alike, and he could identify each one he saw by name, just as Maelstrom had. Somehow he knew that Maelstrom was only feeding him the necessary information. There were things he was keeping back, some huge shadow of vast knowledge that was more than Happosai could ever hope to learn. But in spite of his fear, some greedy part of him wanted to know everything, even if he could never have it.

Maelstrom continued, {THE MILLENNIA FELL AWAY AS WE DRAGON KINGS REMAINED UNCHANGING. WE LEARNED MAGIC, AND HOW TO CONTROL WHAT YOU CALL CHI. WE SEARCHED FOR KNOWLEDGE, BUT AT A SLOW PACE. WHY HURRY WHEN YOU ARE IMMORTAL? WE HAD ALL OF THE TIME IN THE WORLD.

{EVENTUALLY WE CREATED THE THINGS YOU CALL DRAGONS. THERE WERE LESSER VERSIONS OF OURSELVES, BUT COULD BE ENTERTAINING IN MANY WAYS. HOWEVER, AS TIME PASSED, THINGS RETURNED TO THEIR PREVIOUS STATE. IN TIME WE BECAME AWARE OF MAN. AT FIRST THEY WERE LIKE ALL OTHER LIFEFORMS, AND BENEATH OUR NOTICE, BUT IN TIME YOU BECAME INTERESTING. YOU DID THINGS THAT NO OTHER LIFEFORM BEFORE YOU DID. YOU EVOLVED. NOT SO MUCH PHYSICALLY, BUT MENTALLY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW SURPRISING IT WAS TO SEE ACTUAL INTELLIGENCE IN SOMETHING NOT US. WE WATCHED YOU, STUDIED YOU FOR CENTURIES ON END UNTIL WE UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU WERE.

{OR SO WE THOUGHT.}

Happosai felt more anger start to blossom with that revelation.

{I CAN ADMIT NOW WE UNDERESTIMATED YOU. AT FIRST YOU WERE OBJECTS OF FASCINATION TO US. THEN YOU BECAME TOYS. MORESO TO THE DRAGONS THAN THE DRAGON KINGS. ONCE THE FASCINATION WORE OFF, MOST DID NOT DO MORE THAN LOOK IN ON YOUR KIND ONCE EVERY SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS. ALTHOUGH THERE WERE EXCEPTIONS AMONG THE RANKS OF MY FELLOW DRAGON KINGS.

{EMPLOYING MAGIC, WE COULD CHANGE OUR FORMS TO WALK AMONG YOU. MOST OF OUR KIND DID NOTHING MORE THAN PLAY THE VOYEUR, BUT TO SOME YOU WERE AN EXPERIMENT. OFTENTIMES THOSE ONES WOULD INVENT THINGS AND GIVE THEM TO YOU TO SEE HOW YOU WOULD REACT. SOMETIMES THEY WOULD BUILD ARMIES, OR SET LANDS TO DESTORY ONE ANOTHER, CAUSE A WAR, OR BUILD A NATION. WE DID WHAT WE WOULD. IT WAS A GREAT GAME, AND YOU WERE NOTHING MORE THAN PIECES ON A BOARD.

{I THINK THAT WAS WHERE IT ALL WENT WRONG. I DO NOT KNOW WHICH FOOLISH DRAGON OR DRAGON KING TAUGHT YOUR KIND MAGIC, BUT THAT WAS THE MISTAKE THAT WOULD COST US ALL EVENTUALLY. YOUR KIND TOOK TO MAGIC TOO WELL. IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF CENTURIES BEFOR YOU GAINED ENOUGH MASTERY THAT THE STRONGEST AMONG YOU COULD ACTUALLY OVERPOWER DRAGONS WITH YOUR MAGIC, AND THEY DID SO.}

Maelstrom's tail came by lightning fast, shearing off a stone wall behind Happosai. It didn't seem possible that something that was nearly a mile long on it's own could move at speeds that rivaled Happosai's. He could feel the stronger stirrings of black hatred bubbling to the surface through the link as Maelstrom continued.

{AS TIME WENT BY, YOUR KIND BEGAN SPAWNING LIKE MAGGOTS ON A FESTERING CORPSE. YOUR NUMBERS INCREASED EXPONENTIALLY EVERY GENERATION AND YOU WERE BECOMING MORE POWERFUL WITH EACH PASSING YEAR. I TOOK INTENSE INTERST IN YOU THEN, AND STUDIED YOUR KIND BY TRAVELING ALL AROUND THE EARTH FOR OVER THREE HUNDRED YEARS. AT THE END OF THAT TIME I CAME TO UNDERSTAND JUST HOW DANGEROUS YOU WERE. SOMEHOW YOU HAD STUMBLED ACROSS MAGIC THAT WAS TAILORED TO DESTROY DRAGONS, AND SUBSEQUENTLY DRAGON KINGS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW SHOCKED I WAS TO DISCOVER THAT YOU HAD ACTUALLY MANANGED TO KILL TWO DRAGON KINGS. SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE. SO I SUMMONED MY FELLOW DRAGON KINGS TO CONVINCE THEM OF THE TRUTH; YOU WERE TOO DANGEROUS TO BE ALLOWED TO EXIST.

{THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH IMMORTAL CREATURES SUCH AS OURSELVES. WE DO NOT MOVE QUICKLY. SO WHEN I SPOKE WITH THE DISAPPOINTING HANDFUL OF MY FELLOW DRAGON KINGS THAT SHOWED UP, AND TOLD THEM YOU HUMANS HAD MANAGED TO KILL OFF AT LEAST A HOST OF DRAGONS AND TWO DRAGON KINGS, AND OF MY ADDITIONAL DISCOVERIES AND CONCLUSIONS, I WAS CASUALLY DISMISSED. THEY CLAIMED I WAS EXAGGERATING THE DANGER, AND THAT IF YOU HUMANS MANANGED TO KILL OFF A FEW DRAGONS, THEY WERE NO DOUBT INCOMPETENT TO ALLOW SUCH LOWLY CREATURES TO DO AWAY WITH THEM. IF ANYTHING, THAT ELEMENT OF DANGER ADDED TO THE GAME FOR THEM.

{IF MY KIND HAS ANY FLAW, IT IS THAT WE ARE SELF-CENTERED AND CONCEITED. IF ONLY THEY LISTENED TO ME AT THAT TIME, WE COULD HAVE WIPED OUT THE HUMAN RACE WITH LITTLE DIFFICULTY, BUT THEY REFUSED. SOME THOUGHT I WAS UP TO SOMETHING, OTHERS SAID THAT HUMAN WEREN'T DANGEROUS, AND EVEN IF THEY BECAME SO WE COULD WIPE THEM OUT EASILY. AFTER ALL, WERE WE NOT DRAGON KINGS, THE MOST POWRFUL LIFEFORM IN EXISTENCE? HUMANS COULD BE STOPPED AT ANY TIME THE DRAGON KINGS FELT LIKE IT, AND AT THAT TIME THEY DID NOT FEEL LIKE IT.

Happosai watched the tail shear through some more boulders, indicating just how frustrated Maelstrom was.

{NONE OF MY FELLOWS UNDERSTOOD YOU. OH, THEY THOUGHT THEY DID, AND AT FIRST THAT WAS TRUE, BUT NONE OF THEM REALIZED HOW QUICKLY YOU CHANGE. IT NORMALLY TOOK MY KIND MILLENNIA TO CHANGE IN THE SLIGHTEST, BUT ALL IT TOOK FOR YOU WAS HUNDREDS OF YEARS, AND YOU DID CHANGE, ADAPTING TO THINGS AT AN UNBELIEVABLE RATE.

{AT FIRST I ENTERTAINED THE NOTION OF SLAYING YOU ALL MYSELF, BUT IT QUICKLY BECAME EVIDENT THAT THERE WERE TOO MANY OF YOU. AND MY FELLOW DRAGON KINGS DID NOT APPRECIATE ME DESTROYING SO MANY OF THEIR PLAYTHINGS. I WAS TOLD IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS TO STOP MY ACTIONS, OR ELSE THERE WOULD BE REPRISALS. IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE! HUMANS WERE THE DANGER, YET I WAS THE ONE THAT MY KIND THREATENED. SO I WAITED AND SEETHED, PLOTTING A WAY TO DESTROY YOUR KIND. BUT I COULD COME UP WITH NOTHING.

{I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT EVENTUALLY, IN SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS, ONE OF THE DRAGON KINGS UNDERSTOOD THE TRUTH. IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT OVER HALF OF OUR KIND HAD BEEN DESTROYED BY THE HUMANS.

{YOU PROBABLY THINK THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE, THAT WE COULD BE UNAWARE OF HOW MANY OF US WERE PICKED OFF ONE-BY-ONE. IT'S NOT. TO US, TWO HUNDRED YEARS IS THE BLINK OF AN EYE, AND AS I SAID, DRAGONS ARE INHERINTLY SELF-CENTERED. WE DID NOT COMMUNICATE WITH ONE ANOTHER FREQUENTLY OR CASUALLY. EACH OF US HAD OUR OWN TERRITORY TO RULE. LITTLE COMMUICATION OCCURRED OR WAS EVEN DESIRED. BUT THE TRUTH WAS DISCOVERED, AND MY BRETHERN DECIDED TO FORM A CONCLAVE TO DECIDE ON THE FATE OF HUMANITY. AMAZINGLY I WAS OVERLOOKED, AND NOT INVITED. I FOUND OUT WHAT OCCURRED ONLY AFTERWARDS.

{SOMEHOW THE HUMANS FOUND OUT ABOUT THE MEETING AND GATHERED TOGETHER THE GREATEST ASSEMBLY OF DRAGONKILLERS THAT EVER EXISTED. ARMED WITH THE DEADLIEST OF ANTI-DRAGON WEAPONS, THEY AMBUSHED THE CONCLAVE BUT UNDERESTIMATED OUR POWER, AND WERE DESTROYED TO A MAN. WHEN THE DUST SETTLED FROM THE SMALL WAR, OVER HALF OF THE DRAGONS THAT HAD ATTENDED AND OVER A THIRD OF THE DRAGON KINGS HAD FALLEN. THE SURVIVORS TRIED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT ACTION TO TAKE NEXT NOW THAT THEY KNEW BEYOND ANY DOUBT THAT HUMANITY WAS A MAJOR THREAT. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CAME UP WITH?

{NOTHING.

{TOO MANY OF THE DRAGON KINGS AND DRAGONS WERE DEAD. HUMANITY WAS TOO NUMEROUS, TOO POWERFUL TO BE WIPED OUT. THE CONCLAVE APPROXIMATED THAT, AT MOST, FORTY PERCENT OF THE HUMANS COULD BE KILLED BEFORE THE LAST DRAGON FELL. WE HAD LOST THE WAR BEFORE IT HAD EVEN BEGUN.}

The only pity Happosai felt over that information was that Maelstrom had not been included in that death toll.

{THAT DID NOT STOP SOME FROM TRYING. IN THE YEARS THAT FOLLOWED THE SLAUGHTER OF THE CONCLAVE, MANY DRAGONS AND SOME OF THE DRAGON KINGS RAMPAGED ACROSS THE WORLD. HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF HUMANS WERE CONSUMED IN THE FLAMES, BUT CHAMPIONS AROSE TO COMBAT THOSE THAT VOWED TO SLAY HUMANITY. ONE BY ONE THEY FELL. SMAUG. STORM. TYPHON. PERHAPS THE MIGHTIEST OF US, FAFNIR, FELL BEFORE THE COMBINED MIGHT OF A HUNDRED EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL BEINGS THAT PROCLAIMED THEMSELVES GODS. WE LOST THE WAR, JUST AS WE KNEW WE WOULD.

{OTHERS BEGAN TO HIDE, EITHER UNDER THE HUMANS' NOSES USING MAGIC, OR GOING AS FAR AWAY FROM HUMANITY AS THEY COULD, SEALING THEMSELVES IN CAVES AND THE LIKE, KILLING ANYTHING THAT DARED TO VENTURE CLOSE. BUT YOU MAGGOTS INFESTED YOURSELVES EVERYWHERE, HUNTING DOWN AND KILLING EACH DRAGON YOU COULD FIND. IT DID NOT MATTER HOW MANY OF YOU WE TOOK WITH US. FOR EVERY ONE OF YOUR KIND THAT DIED, TWO REPLACED YOU. DRAGONS TAKE A HUNDRED YEARS TO PRODUCE OFFSPRING, AND WE DRAGON KINGS ARE INACAPABLE OF PROCREATION. YOU WERE WEARING US DOWN OVER THE YEARS, INFLICTING IRREPLACEABLE LOSSES. YOU HUMANS LEARNED THE LESSON OF THE ANTS: STRENGTH IN NUMBERS.

{I SPENT EVERY MOMENT I COULD TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO KILL ALL OF YOU. THEN IT OCCURRED TO ME. YOU HUMANS ENJOY DESTROYING EACH OTHER ALMOST AS MUCH AS YOU ENJOYED DESTROYING US. WHY NOT USE YOU? NO NEED TO RISK A DRAGON IF WE COULD GET HUMANS TO CONCENTRATE ON DESTROYING THEMSELVES.

{I GATHERED TOGETHER A DOZEN HUMANS I COULD USE AND EMPOWERED THEM SO THAT THEY WOULD DESTROY EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING AROUND THEM. AND AT FIRST IT WORKED. A HANDFUL FELL, BUT MOST THRIVED. THE CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT WAS A QUARTET THAT DUBBED THEMSLEVES THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCOLYPSE. TOGETHER THEY SLAUGHTERED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS, THRIVING BEYOND MY GREATEST EXPECTATIONS. BUT JUST WHEN IT APPEARED THEY MIGHT TRULY BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE MY DREAM OF GENOCIDE, THEY TURNED ON ME! I WAS THE ONE WHO CREATED THEM, YET THEY SPURNED THEIR GOD AND TRIED TO SLAY ME. THEY MIGHT HAVE SUCCEEDED TOO, HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR MY MOST LOYAL OF THE EMPOWERED ONES. WENG CHANG, HE WHO YOU KNEW AS THE SHOGUN OF THE DARK. TOGETHER WE SLEW THE HORSEMEN, THEN KILLED THE OTHERS LEST THEY BETRAY ME AS WELL.}

Happosai watched as Maelstrom absent-mindedly crushed a five ton boulder into dust without even realizing it. There was no way he was going to try to confront that kind of power.

{I BEGAN TO GIVE UP HOPE, AND WAS ALMOST ANGRY ENOUGH TO LAUNCH A SUICIDE ATTACK MYSELF, WHEN I REMEMBERED HE WHO WAS PERHAPS THE WISEST OF THE DRAGON KINGS. THE ONE CALLED HAVOC. OF ALL OF US, HE WAS THE MOST RECLUSIVE. I HAD MET EVERY ONE OF MY KIND THOUSANDS OF TIMES OVER THE MILLINNIA SAVE HAVOC, WHO I MET PERHAPS A HUNDRED TIMES. BUT EVERY OCCASION I MET HIM I WAS IMPRESSED BY HIS INTELLIGENCE. NONE HAD HEARD FROM HIM SINCE LONG BEFORE THE HUMANS BEGAN THEIR DRAGON KILLING WAYS.

{I TRAVELED TO HIS HOME DEEP IN THE MOUNTAINS OF WHAT YOU CALL CHINA. UPON UNCOVERING THE LOCATION OF HIS LAIR, I DISCOVERED IT VACANT, SAVE FOR THE BODIES OF SEVERAL UNKNOWN HUMANOIDS. EXAMINING HIS WRITINGS, I DISCOVERED THAT HE HAD BEEN TRACKED DOWN BY A GROUP OF EXTRA-PLANAR HUNTERS, AND THOUGH HE HAD KILLED THEM, HE WAS MORTALLY WOUNDED. WITH HIS LAST MOMENTS UPON HIM, HE WROTE OF WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND THAT HE WAS GOING TO TRY TO SAVE HIMSELF USING SOME KIND OF UNTESTED MAGIC SPELL. THE LAST THING ON THE PAGE WAS A LINE THAT SINCE SOMEONE WAS READING THE JOURNAL, THAT MEANT HAVOC FAILED AND WAS DEAD.

{HAVING NOTHING BETTER TO DO, I WENT THROUGH HIS BELONGINGS, GLEANING WHAT KNOWLEDGE I COULD FROM THEM. THEN I STUMBLED UPON IT. THE WAY TO MY HEART'S DESIRES.}

Happosai began to listen more carefully. If what Maelstrom had uncovered was powerful, maybe there was something he could use against the Dragon King.

Maelstrom continued. {AMONG A BUNCH OF CURIOUS INCOHERENT SCRIBBLINGS, THERE WAS MENTION THAT DURING A CERTAIN PLANETARY ALIGNMENT, AT A CERTAIN SPOT ON THE EARTH, ONCE EVERY FIVE THOUSAND YEARS ONE CAN SUMMON A THING OF VAST POWER, SOMETHING HAVOC CALLED CONTINUUM, AND BE GRANTED ONE BOON. IT WOULD TAKE A VAST AMOUNT OF CHI BUT IT COULD BE DONE. HAVOC INDICATED HE HAD DONE IT ONCE BEFORE, THOUGH WAS ULTIMATELY DISAPPOINTED WITH WHAT HE HAD ASKED FOR. HE HAD BEEN PREPARING HIMSELF FOR THE RAPIDLY ARRIVING TIME, AND IT WAS IN THIS DELICATE PERIOD, A PERIOD THAT HAVOC WAS MOST DISTRACTED, THAT THE HUNTERS ATTACKED.

{SO IT FELL TO ME TO COMPLETE THE SPELL. I HAD TO HURRY AS THERE WAS ALMOST NO TIME LEFT FOR THE SUMMONING. I DID EVERYTHING THAT WAS DETAILED IN THE INSTRUCTIONS, PREPARING THE GATEWAY ABOVE WHAT YOU CALL MOUNT PHOENIX, UTILIZING THE SPELLS NECESSARY TO KEEP THE APATURE OPEN LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE MY REQUEST. I HAD COMPLETED EVERYTHING WITH TWO HOURS TO SPARE. I SUMMONED FORTH ALL OF MY CHI AND USED IT IN THE MANNER INDICATED, AND NOTHING HAPPENED.

{IT TOOK ME YEARS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAD GONE WRONG. I AT LAST FIGURED OUT THAT THE SCRIBBLINGS THAT HAD SURROUNDED THE INSTRUCTIONS WERE NOT SCRIBBLINGS AT ALL. IT WAS A CODE. THE CODE WAS SO COMPLEX THAT IT TOOK EVEN THE GENIUS OF A DRAGON KING YEARS TO DECIPHER IT. BUT AT LAST I SUCCEEDED. FROM THAT CODE I DISCOVERED THAT A MAGICAL FOCUS WAS NEEDED TO BE IN PLACE TO HELP IN THE SUMMONING. AND THE CHI AMOUNTS LISTED IN THE NORMAL INSTRUCTIONS WERE HORRIBLY UNDERSTATED. IT WOULD REQUIRE FAR MORE CHI THAN EVEN A DRAGON KING COULD CALL FORTH.

{BUT THAT MATTER WAS TAKEN CARE OF FOR ME. ALSO WITHIN THOSE PAGES WERE INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO CREATE A GIANT CHI RESEVOIR USING MAGICAL POOLS TO SIPHON OFF THE CHI OF OTHER CREATURES THAT ENTERED THE POOLS. IT WAS A PERFECT PLAN SAVE FOR ONE THING.

{I COULD NOT WAIT FIVE THOUSAND YEARS.

{MY HATRED FOR YOUR RACE KNEW NO BOUNDS. I COULD NOT WAIT ONE THOUSAND YEARS, LET ALONE FIVE. IT WAS TOO MUCH, AND EVEN IF I COULD FORCE MYSELF TO WAIT, THERE WAS STILL TOO GREAT A CHANCE OF BEING HUNTED DOWN AND KILLED LIKE ALL OF THE OTHERS. I NEEDED SOMEWHERE THAT I COULD SLEEP FOR FIVE MILLENNIA AND WHERE NONE COULD FIND ME, A LOCATION NEAR WHERE THE CHI RESEVOIR WOULD BE, FOR MY FATE RESTED ON IT AND I NEEDED TO BE CLOSE SO THAT I COULD SOMEHOW PROTECT IT. THEN I FIGURED IT OUT. IT WOULD BE THE AREA WHERE I WOULD PLACE THE MAGICAL POOLS. I COULD MASK MY ENTIRE PHYSICAL, CHI, AND MAGICAL SIGNATURES THERE. AND BY PLACING MYSELF IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO THE CHI RESEVOIR, MASK IT AS WELL. THE ONLY WAY ANYONE COULD FIND ME WAS IF THEY RANDOMLY STUMBLED UPON ME.

{I SET UP A SERIES OF ALARMS SO THAT IF ANYONE EVEN DETECTED THE RESEVOIR, OR ME, I COULD SEND OUT MY DREAM FORM TO STRIKE THEM DEAD, JUST LIKE THAT FOOL THAT STUMBLED UPON IT ONLY A FEW MONTHS AGO.

{UNFORTUNATELY I WOULD NEED TO BE ASLEEP THE ENTIRE TIME, AN ANNOYING BUT NECESSARY RESTRICTION OF THE MASKING SPELLS I WOULD BE USING. WAKING UP PREMATURELY WOULD RUIN THE ENTIRE THING AND I WOULD BE UNABLE TO REUSE THE MAGIC ON MYSELF. EVEN A DRAGON KING CAN NOT BEND MAGIC TO ITS WHIM. IN ORDER FOR THE WORLD TO BE BLIND TO MY PRESENCE, I HAD TO BE BLIND TO THE WORLD. THEREFORE I REQUIRED SOMEONE TO PREPARE THE FOCUS AND AWAKEN ME AT THE PROPER TIME. THAT FELL TO THE ONE HUMAN IN THE WORLD I REMOTELY TRUSTED, WENG CHANG. TO TELL ANYONE ELSE WOULD INVITE DESTRUCTION. HUMANS CANNOT BE TRUSTED.

{I BOLSTERED HIS ABILITIES, MAKING HIM LITTLE MORE THAN A WALKING MAGICAL BATTERY, AND INSTRUCTED HIM TO WAIT THE FIVE THOUSAND YEARS FOR MY AWAKENING. IN ORDER TO KEEP HIMSELF OCCUPIED AND NOT DIE OF BOREDOM, HE FERMENTED SEEDS OF CHAOS AND WAR AMONG YOUR RACE. HE HAS BEEN THE MASTERMIND BEHIND MORE DEATHS THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE OVER TIME. IT WAS ONLY DURING THE LAST HUNDRED YEARS THAT HE FADED INTO THE BACKGROUND, STORING THE NECESSARY ENERGY TO TRIGGER MY AWAKENING. I WILL BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT IT WAS A RISKY PLAN. ANY ONE OF A NUMBER OF THINGS COULD HAVE GONE WRONG, BUT I WAS DESPERATE, AND IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I KNEW OF THAT I COULD ATTAIN MY HEART'S DESIRES.

{SO I CREATED THE PLACE YOU CALL JUSENKYOU. DID YOU KNOW THE CURSES WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A PART OF IT? THEY WERE NOT THERE, AT FIRST. I THINK THEY CAME ABOUT BECAUSE OF THE ADDITIONAL SPELLS I CAST TO DRAW PEOPLE THERE, OR PERHAPS IT WAS THE SOURCE, JUSENDO. IT WAS AN ODD PLACE. BUT IT DID NOT MATTER, FOR IT WORKED. IT DRAINED THOSE THAT TOUCHED THE WATERS AND STORED THEIR CHI ENERGY FOR ME. AT FIRST I WAS NOT CERTAIN ENOUGH PEOPLE WOULD BE SUBMERGED FOR ME TO HAVE SUFFICIENT CHI TO INITIATE THE SUMMONING. MY WORRIES WERE FOR NOTHING. BY THE TIME AZURA TOUCHED ONE OF THE POOLS, AND I ABSORBED PART OF HER CHI, I HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH. IN FACT...}

Maelstrom held his gigantic clawed hand out before Happosai. Whatever the gesture meant was lost on the old one, until he saw a scale flake off.

{THERE IS TOO MUCH POWER FOR EVEN A DRAGON KING TO HOLD FOR LONG. WITH IT ALONE I COULD EASILY SLAY MILLIONS. BUT IT WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH. MY DREAMS TRANSCEND THAT. WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHAT NIGHTMARES WILL PLAGUE HUMANITY IN THE FUTURE? WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHY THAT LEAVING YOU ALIVE IS NOT A BLESSING?}

"Not really," Happosai answered.

Maelstrom gave a booming laugh, something that threatened to cause Happosai's eardrums to explode. {I ADORE YOUR HONESTY. I BELIEVE I WILL LEAVE YOU ALIVE FOR QUITE SOME TIME. IT REALLY IS UNFORTUNATE MORE HUMANS HAD NOT BEEN LIKE YOU. IF THEY HAD ACCEPTED THEIR PLACE, NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING.}

Maelstrom gazed up to the skies once more, and Happosai could feel the anticipation build within the last of the Dragon Kings.

{HERE IS WHAT I WOULD WISH FOR. TOTAL CONTROL OVER EVERY LIVING THING ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. NONE WOULD BE ABLE TO ESCAPE MY WRATH!}

Happosai's mouth went ahead of his thoughts. "Why not just wish to become a god?" As the last word left his mouth he realized the foolishness of what he had just said.

The giant dragon answered immediately. {I CONSIDERED THAT. BUT THERE IS A PROBLEM. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT BECOMING A GOD ENTAILS. IF I WERE TO BECOME ONE, I MIGHT GO BEYOND VENGEANCE. I MIGHT DECIDE THAT THE DESTRUCITON OF THE HUMAN RACE IS NOT WORTH IT. I CANNOT TAKE THAT CHANCE. MY MOST FERVENT WISH IS TO DESTORY ALL OF YOU.}

Happosai now considered what that meant. "Why not just wish all of the human race dead then, if that's what you really want?"

Maelstrom laughed once more. {BECAUSE HAVING YOU ALL DIE AT ONCE WOULD NOT BE SATIFYING ENOUGH. I WANT TO SAVOR YOUR DEATHS. I WANT TO SHOW HUMANITY WHAT IT DID TO US, THEIR TRUE GODS. I WANT TO DO IT SLOWLY, PIECE BY PIECE. I WILL HURT THEM IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE. I WILL GIVE THEM THE HOPE THAT THEY CAN OVERTHROW MY RULE, AND THEN I WILL CRUSH THE HOPE. THEN I WILL GIVE THEM HOPE AGAIN, AND I WILL CRUSH IT AGAIN. OVER AND OVER I WILL BREAK HUMANITY'S SPIRIT, UNTIL FIVE THOUSAND YEARS FROM NOW I WILL HAVE JUST ENOUGH HUMANS LEFT TO KILL THEM ALL AT ONCE, HARNESS THEIR CHI ENERGY, AND SUMMON CONTINUUM ONCE MORE SO THAT I MAY MAKE A SECOND WISH AND BECOME A GOD. I HAVE NOT DECIDED UPON WHAT TO DO AFTER THAT. I WANT TO CONCENTRATE ON SLOWLY SLAUGHTERING ALL HUMANS OVER THE COURSE OF FIVE THOUSAND YEARS.}

Maelstrom's head snapped up. At last Happosai heard the voice in his head drop to a whisper. {It is time.}

Maelstrom stood up on his hind legs and looked to the skies. He expanded his wings and rose them high to the skies. Concentrating, he converged all of his excess chi energy and looked through the magical focus, aimed high above Mount Phoenix. It was just like before, save that he now had the right tools for summoning Continuum.

{NOW!}

And he released it.

Happosai watched on as enough chi energy to vaporize an entire range of mountains was released from Maelstrom and became focused somewhere slightly above the Dragon King's head. It must have been funneled through the focus the Dragon King had been going on about. Surprisingly, only a small portion of it actually went through, the rest hung about the air, somehow lingering and giving everything a blue haze. Happosai knew now that the Dragon King had not been lying about having too much power. Precious little of the total energy had actually been used. Happosai could tap into it, use it if he desired, but there was no point. He could not control enough to hurt Maelstrom. The last Dragon King was still filled with his own personal energies, more than enough to fry Happosai, especially with the way his chest was hurting him. The whole experience was taking him to the limit, and his body let him know.

As the energy went through the funnel it seemingly disappeared in mid-air. And when the flow of blue stopped going through the funnel, that was when it occurred.

A vertical slit, almost as though it was a great eye, opened above Mount Phoenix.

In Heaven:

Skuld was double checking the figures on one of her experiments, using the Yrggdasil computer system (and she would have insisted she was not using it without permission since she had filled out the necessary papers to use it for the double check. They just hadn't cleared yet. Of course they were going to be approved.) when the entire system shut down.

Skuld formed a huge sweatdrop behind her head, the moment of fear keeping her silent for only a second, when what had just happened finally registered.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

A hand found its way to her shoulder. Peace suddenly flooded her being as she calmed down. She turned to see the handsome face of one of the older angels, Lasheal, smiling at her. He was wearing white robes which contrasted perfectly with his long black hair and green eyes.

"There's no need to panic," Lasheal said in a calm voice. "It was not your fault. You did not exist the last time this happened. Continuum has simply seized control of the system."

Skuld was confused. There was something besides Kami-sama that could control the Yrggdasil system? "What's Continuum?"

"One of the conceptual entities that make the universe what it is," he said softly.

"You mean like Death, Fate, Love, and all of those other weird things that are supposed to represent the embodiment of what their name implies? I know it's said that they can take a form through which others can understand what they represent, but I thought they usually worked through more corporeal agents, like Fate using The Seer." She thought she got the encyclopedia definition of conceptual entity correct. And Urd had accused her of not paying attention to those things when she was little. She had only heard of them, but they were supposed to be powerful enough to have absolute control of everything within their name. All of Urd's stupid love potions were nothing more than extensions of Love, as was what Belldandy and Keichii felt for one another, at least that was what the encyclopedia had implied. She had never seen one when it took a form that could be understood. Most of the time they simply WERE. And as a general rule they took no direct action in things. Something about the nature of what they were preventing that from occurring, although they could work through others. It didn't really make any sense to her.

"Yes," Lasheal said in his soft voice.

"How come I never heard of it?" Skuld asked.

For the first time since he had approached her, Lasheal showed a look of concern. "It is more subtle in its actions than others. However, you should know that it is what powers the part of the system that grants wishes. It controls reality. As to why it shut down the system." The dark-haired angel stared at Skuld for a moment. "Someone is directly asking Continuum to bend reality to its own ends. That means the thing that is making the wish will be granted whatever it wants, no limitations."

Skuld's eyes widened. "But it has to go through Kami-sama first. All of the wishes have to be approved."

Lashael shook his head. "Not in this case. Continuum has carte blanche powers." He headed off Skuld's next question. "I do not know why that is, it's just the way kami-sama set things up. It is not my place to question or criticize the workings of the universe. I know enough to realize I will never truly understand how the whole thing works. In time you will come to understand that too." He looked to the world tree computer system once more. "It will most likely reboot in time. As for right now..." He turned his gaze downward. "All of the angels in the Earth sphere are being recalled to Heaven and further contact is temporarily banned. All other currently running wishes are put on hold until this matter sorts itself out. Let's hope whoever is making the wish is wise. Whoever it is now has something akin to ultimate power in their hands."

Maelstrom was only able to look directly into the opening for a moment before he felt his sanity start to slip away. He had only moments to shut off his extra senses before his mind was consumed by the power of the place the hole in reality had opened to. Once that was done, he was able to simply look into the visual spectrum and withstood what he saw before his eyes.

Happosai felt something just at the edge of his senses. Something that threatened to rip his mind apart with power, and it was coming from the tear in fabric of reality before him. He tried to turn away, but at the same time felt himself helplessly drawn to it. It took most of his willpower to simply ignore whatever it was and concentrate on Maelstrom and what he was doing. The Dragon King seemed to be sending something into Happosai's mind. It was almost like an emotion that was washing over him. Pure and clear of any hate. It was then Happosai understood what it was he was feeling. It was joy. It was the end of a five thousand year old dream of hate.

It was success.

Happosai heard the voice in his mind. It was similar to Maelstrom's telepathic communication, but so very different at the same time. Happosai had thought the Dragon King represented the true face of power, but it was nothing when compared to the thing called Continuum. The voice said only one phrase.

*What is your wish?*

For one brief moment, Maelstrom's mind went blank. Five thousand years of unending hatred was temporarily lost in gazing upon the face of true power. Anything could be his, and suddenly he did not want anything. For a lesser being it would have proven too much and they would have gone on staring until Continuum departed, but five thousand years of hatred would not be extinguished so easily. Slowly it came rising to the surface once more, piercing Maelstrom's consciousness. Sluggishly the words escaped his thoughts.

{I...WANT...TOTAL...CONTROL...OVER...ALL...OF...THE...LIVING...THINGS...ON...EARTH...FROM...NOW...UNTIL...ITS...END.}

*Granted.*

And it was done. Maelstrom felt every living thing all at once flood his mind. He could cause an entire rain forest to simply stop producing chlorophyll. Or have every fly on the earth drown itself in the ocean. The humans could be made to kill one another, or never kill another living being ever again. The last Dragon King could even control the viruses in the air to do his bidding. There was nothing beyond his power now. And he could also feel that his wish had been granted exactly the way he wanted. The things that were being born every minute were also under his control. All of them, from now until everything was dead, were his. It was exactly what he wanted. And as soon as his mind adjusted to the true level of power he now possessed, he would play. Oh how he would play.

Happosai watched on as events transpired around him. It wasn't right. It just wasn't right that something so evil should be granted a wish. He was going to try something that he had not attempted for ages, but the situation seemed to call for it.

He was going to try to discuss matters calmly, and with a conceptual entity no less.

"Hey! You! The hole in the sky!"

Continuum did not respond.

"I said, hey you!"

Still nothing.

"HEY YOU!" Happosai screamed at the top of his lungs.

Still nothing.

"If that's the way you want it." Happosai said quietly, then gathered his concentration as he proceeded to absorb some of the ambient chi in the air. Suddenly he felt himself fill with more energy than he had his entire life. It flooded his senses and permeated his entire being. How had he lived before when he had been so weak? Only now did he understand how truly alive he was. The feats he was now capable of doing would make everything he had done before seem as though he was nothing more than a neophyte martial artist. Now he could really advance in the art. And not a single panty could escape his grasp.

He shook his head as he almost forgot what he had intended to do when he absorbed the additional energy. Instantly he called upon his ability to form a hundred foot chi version of himself. That should attract the attention of the thing in the hole in the sky.

As he shot up in size Happosai suddenly felt Continuum's attention shift to him.

*We see you. What is your wish?*

That attracted Maelstrom's attention, as well as his anger. {HE DID NOT SUMMON YOU, I DID! HE DOES NOT DESERVE A WISH!}

*Summoning is irrelevant. What is your wish?*

Maelstrom exerted his control over all living things to Happosai...and found his power blocked. {WHAT IS WRONG?! I AM SUPPOSED TO HAVE POWER OVER ALL LIVING THINGS!}

*It has a wish. It will be granted a wish without the interference of others. What is your wish?*

Happosai was stunned. He now had a wish. Something he had always wanted. It must have had something to do with the chi he had absorbed. That made sense. The thing was summoned using chi, something Maelstrom had enormous amounts of. Now that Happosai had absorbed some of the raw chi in the area, it could now sense him.

Now Happosai could have anything. He was about to fantasize what he would do with all of the panties in the world when he came down from the euphoria. There was something more important he had to do.

"Looks like I got you now," Happosai taunted to the impossibly huge Maelstrom.

In answer Maelstrom unleashed a beam of chi-enhanced flame from his mouth, capable of cutting through anything on the planet. The bright white hundred foot wide beam of plasma burst directly towards Happosai, straight for his body...

...and disappeared as though it had not existed.

*It will not be interfered with. What is your wish?*

"Heh! Looks like you're really in for it now," Happosai bragged to Maelstrom. He was going to smirk some more when he felt his hold on the chi suddenly slip. It had not come from an outside source; the disturbance had come from him. Deciding he had best not waste any more time, he spoke, asking for the first thing that came to mind.

"I wish Maelstrom had not made his wish." Happosai felt pretty sure of himself. It was a good wish that would cancel out what Maelstrom had just done.

*Denied. One wish cannot counteract another. What is your wish?*

"WHAT?!" Happosai shouted as he felt his rage build. "You were supposed to grant any wish! I don't remember hearing any limitations on making a wish! Did you remember anything about any limitations?" he asked Maelstrom.

The over two mile long Dragon King looked down upon the small figure before him. Happosai could end up ruining everything, and Maelstrom would only have himself to blame for not killing the human on the spot.

{WE CAN STRIKE A BARGAIN, HUMAN. I WILL NOT KILL YOU OR ANY ONE MILLION OF YOUR PEOPLE. I WILL LET YOU LIVE UNMOLESTED FOR CENTURIES, SPARED FROM MY WRATH.}

"Forget it!" Happosai shouted. As though he would let harm befall any one of the world's cuties.

{THEN LET US TALK. SURELY THERE IS SOME BARGAIN THAT WE CAN REACH.} Yes. Maelstrom wanted to talk. Wanted to engage Happosai in conversation as long as he could. There was something that the last Dragon King was aware of that Happosai wasn't.

The planetary alignment was almost over.

Continuum would be leaving soon, and if Happosai had not made his wish, he would lose it. Then Maelstrom would see to it Happosai suffered unendingly for five thousand years. All he had to do was stall the human, then his dream would at last be fulfilled.

"Nope," Happosai insisted. He thought for a moment. "I've got it. I wish Maelstrom was dead."

*Denied. Maelstrom controls all living things on this planet from now until the end of the Earth. What is your wish?*

"I wish he was dead before he made that wish."

*Denied. One wish cannot interfere with another. What is your wish?"

Happosai was running out of ideas, and he would swear Maelstrom was becoming more eager with each passing second. Was the Dragon King up to something? It was obvious the evil reptile could not interfere with Happosai's wish, so why did he seem so happy? Happosai had time to figure out...

Then the pain struck his chest.

It was worse than anything he had felt his entire life. It seemed to strike out at every cell of his body as the white hot shards of agony sliced through his entire being. It was bad enough he almost let slip that he wished he was dead. The pain caused him to let his hold on his control of the chi slip as his hundred foot form dwindled away to twenty feet in height, and continued to shrink. Instinctively he held onto the additional chi, although it became harder by the moment. It was so hard to even think. Barely he could hear voices as he began to pass in and out of consciousness.

Softly:

*You grow dim to us. What is your wish?*

Louder:

{YOU ARE DYING, HUMAN. I CAN SEE IT THROUGH YOUR USELESS EXTERIOR. IT IS YOUR HEART. IT HAS AT LAST FAILED YOU AS IT COULD NOT TAKE THE STRAIN OF THE CONFLICT YOU HAVE JUST UNDERGONE. YOU WILL BE DEAD WITHIN MOMENTS, AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO TO STOP IT IS WISH IT WAS REPAIRED. USE YOUR WISH NOW HUMAN, OR YOU WILL DIE. WISH FOR A HEALING TO YOUR HEART. IT IS THE ONLY THING BETWEEN YOU AND DEATH.}

"No," Happosai gasped out.

Maelstrom watched on with an amused grin. The human was suddenly out of options. The human could waste his wish on saving his life, a life which Maelstrom would end the moment Happosai made his wish, or he could lose his control of the extra chi which would disqualify him from making a wish at all. Or another minute could pass, and the planetary alignment would be over and Continuum would leave. It made no difference to the Dragon King. As long as he was allowed to slaughter the human race. The last obstacle was almost gone. He'd have to kill a billion humans in celebration. If he wanted more to kill in several decades he'd just order them to reproduce what numbers were lost. Soon. So very soon.

Happosai felt another stab of pain in his chest. It was not as bad as the first, but it still affected his control over the chi. It was almost gone and he was almost dead. One more, and even if it did not kill him outright, he would lose his grip on the chi, Continuum would fail to see him, and he would be dead. Instinctively he wanted to wish he would survive, but he fought the instinct. It was hard to think, but there was more to consider than just himself. He had to save everyone from Maelstrom's insane dream. But how? How when he could not interfere with the wish Maelstrom had been granted? He had total control over every living thing until...

"Here's...my...wish," Happosai managed to gasp out.

Perfume staggered in the direction of Mount Phoenix. Something had gone off in her head while she was in her healing trance, and she found herself awake, and somehow instinctively knowing everything had changed. Then the huge form of Maelstrom flew overhead. One did not need to be a genius like her to know something big was happening, so she ran as fast as she could. She had managed to see the Dragon King land on top of Mount Phoenix and crush the top like a person would an anthill. She stopped and watched the giant creature seem to 'talk' to something at the top of the mountain. Then the giant eye opened above the mountain, and she heard Continuum's voice in her head. That seemed to go on for a while, then there was a flash of light. Now there was nothing at the top of the mountain. No giant eye. No Dragon King. If it had not been for the obvious signs of destruction, she would not have been sure if she had not imagined the whole experience.

But she had. And it undoubtedly meant trouble for her allies. She discovered a blown out hole in the mountain. The markings made her think someone had employed the Bakusai Tenketsu to make an entrance. Perfume entered, hurrying inside to see if there was anything she could do. One Devil had fallen before her, and she still had the ability to see more of them die by her hand.

Hurriedly she traveled through the mountain, uncertain of where to go other than up. As she went through stone passageway after stone passageway, she heard the sound of a small detonation from up ahead. Bringing her naginta to bear, she proceeded cautiously into the large cavern with the damaged buildings. Upon entering her eyes fell upon the source of the noise. Ukyou was bending over to the ground and using the Bakusai Tenketsu to blow up tiny pieces of rock into even smaller pieces of rock. A brief glance revealed no obvious foes ready to fall upon her, so Perfume cried out to the chef.

"What are you doing?"

Ukyou did not respond in the slightest as she bent over and blew up another piece of rock. Perfume noticed the blood all over the girl's face, and was about to risk getting closer, when she spotted Ai's crumpled form off to the side. The blond cheerleader had an incredible amount of blood all over her back that had run down the side Perfume could see. The Amazon gave a small gasp of concern and raced to the fallen girl's side. Now she could see the horrible wound along the length of her back and that the cheerleader looked deathly pale. Perfume had no real hope when she searched for Ai's pulse...

Which was why she was doubly shocked when she found a faint one.

Quickly Perfume examined Ai more closely. The only wound appeared to be the one in her back. Maybe she could do something, but she was going to need help. "UKYOU! Quit blowing up rocks and get over here! Ai's still alive!"

Ukyou paused in her mid-motion as she was about to blow up another rock. The words seemed to cut through the haze as her hand began trembling. Alive? Slowly she turned her face, the mask of blood now dry, towards Perfume. The scar-faced Amazon was ripping off most of her shirt and tying it around Ai's back.

"Quit making pebbles and get over here!" Perfume shouted again. "Hurry, damn it! I don't know how much longer she has!"

The words at last fully sunk in as Ukyou rushed to Ai's side and fell to her knees, crying. How could it be? "I...I thought she was dead!" Ukyou sobbed out, praying it was not some cruel joke that was meant to shred her heart once more.

"Did you even bother to check her pulse?" Perfume asked as she grabbed Ukyou's sleeve and began tearing it off.

"Sh...she was bleeding so mu...much, and then she c...closed her eyes," Ukyou barely managed to get out as her sleeve was torn off.

"You...ASSUMED she was dead?!" the Amazon growled in disbelief.

"I...I she closed her eyes," Ukyou insisted once again.

"Thank you for that thorough examination, Doctor Kuonji!" Perfume spat out venomously as she resisted hurting Ukyou for her oversight. "Remind me never to get a paper cut and fall asleep around you. Your 'misdiagnosis' just might have cost Ai her life, but at least you made a whole bunch of pebbles while your lover was bleeding to death!"

"I...I...I didn't know." Ukyou mind raced as she absorbed the new information, wondering if Perfume was right. Was it her fault Ai might die? Why hadn't she checked Ai more thoroughly? If she died it would all be Ukyou's fault.

"Shut up before I break you!" Perfume threatened. First the girl screwed up in assuming Ai was dead, and was now threatening to totally break down. The Amazon was going to have to force herself to keep from berating Ukyou for the moment until she helped Ai. "Tear off your pants legs. I need every bit of cloth I can get my hands on to bind this wound. I wouldn't count on her making it. She's lost a lot of blood. It's amazing she's even still alive, but I'll try to save her." Perfume tied more strips of cloth around Ai's wound, then took note of the blood that covered Ukyou. "Are you hurt bad?"

"What?" Ukyou asked as she removed her remaining pant leg.

"You're covered in blood but are moving around okay," Perfume answered. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt bad. How do you feel? That cut along your front doesn't look too good."

Ukyou took a moment to examine herself. "It doesn't hurt at all."

"What about your head wound?"

Ukyou examined her head. "I'm not injured there."

Perfume appeared bewildered. "Where did the blood come from?"

Ukyou's eyes glazed over as her voice took on a distant sound. "I don't remember."

Perfume shook her head. "Okay. Let's try this. Why were you blowing up rocks?"

"I don't remember," Ukyou answered in a still distant voice.

"What do you remember?"

Ukyou tried thinking about that for a moment as she began to sound like her old self. "Ai was in my arms, then she closed her eyes and I thought she was dead. Then the rock guy said something." She paused for a moment. "He must have done something to my memory. When I get my hands on him for what he did to Ai, I'll kill him!"

There was something off about all of that, but Perfume did not have the time to try to sort through and understand it. She had to do everything in her power to help Ai. There were some very basic healing techniques that she could use on others, but she wasn't very good at them and there was absolutely no way she could heal the kind of damage Ai had taken. The absolute best she could hope for was that she would be able to prolong Ai's life until someone that was better at that sort of thing, like Cologne, could help. She and Ukyou would have to work hard and pray Ai would somehow survive.

Ranma slowly rose to his feet in great pain. He was rapidly becoming aware of parts of his body that he was unaware existed. They were now pleasantly making their presence known by screaming out in agony.

The pain was irrelevant. He shut it out as he hurried as quickly as he could up the mountain. He had to help the others. They needed his assistance, and he would be there to give it. Especially Shampoo. He remembered she had been unconscious in the room when he lost his own awareness. Now she was gone, no doubt in a world of trouble knowing her. She always bit off more than she could chew, and now it was up to him to keep her from making any fatal errors.

The tunnel was strewn with rubble. Ranma could tell it had been recently collapsed, which meant even more trouble. The debris was so thick in some places he was forced to crawl over the wreckage, barely squeezing through it at one point. But still he pressed onward, desire overriding the signals his body was giving that told him to rest. There were people that needed his help, and he was the only one that could give it.

There were several large rocks blocking the exit. He was forced to use all of his muscle to slowly move the boulders away, one at a time. His lungs seared with the effort as he shoved them out of the way and felt fresh air wash across his face. The light was so intense compared to the dark interior of the mountain that Ranma had to shield his eyes for a several moments before he could see. A dull blue haze was in the air, and he could feel the power of chi around him. What had once been a cavern was now nothing more than a collapsed ruin, debris and rubble strewn everywhere across the floor. A cool breeze whipped across his face as he surveyed the area before him. Just a series of rocks, that was all there was. Some unknown force must have collapsed the top of the mountain, causing an avalanche.

And Shampoo had gone up there.

Dread built up in his heart as he considered that possibility. NO! She had to be all right. He promised to protect her. It was an oath. He would never break his word. Not like that.

His ears perked up as a noise reached them. It was faint, but it was definitely real. He concentrated, shutting out all other distraction and focused on the sound. It was muffled and unintelligible, but it sounded like someone speaking.

Of course! It was coming from underneath the rocks. Somehow he found greater than human strength to aid him as he got near where the sound originated and began lifting boulders. Hundreds of pounds gave way to his subconsciously chi-enhanced strength as he shoved the rocks away, the noise becoming louder as he moved them to the side. There was one particularly large one he had to move. Placing all of the force he could muster, he shoved it to the side. The cries went from being muffled to clear. Now that he had a moment he realized that the way the rocks had fallen somehow made a protective cocoon around the person. And as his eyes laid upon the figure that had been buried under the rocks, the girl that had somehow miraculously survived the rockfall, it all became clear to him. It was the instant reaction of seeing her alive that made him understand. What had been the most agonizing choice he had ever been forced to consider was now over.

At last he knew.

Akane squinted at the bright light that had suddenly shown down upon her. She had been calling out for help from anyone, and then she heard the shifting of the rock. At first she had been fearful that the rest of the rocks that were just above her head were going to fall, smashing into her like the one that had fallen on her ankle. Then the last one was pulled away, and she shielded her eyes as she cried out in relief. She been saved by a figure who was silhouetted by the sun. Her pupils dilated enough to screen out the additional light as she at last recognized the boy before her

Ranma had saved her, just as she knew he would. Just as he always would.

Akane observed a number of cuts and bruises all over Ranma's face, but it didn't matter. He was still the most beautiful things she had ever laid eyes upon. She looked into his own pain-filled eyes, crying at him. No longer was she afraid to appear weak before him. It didn't matter any more. He was on his knees in an instant, next to her asking if she was all right. The raw emotion in his voice made her cry even harder. It had been so close. There was pain in her ankle, enough to let her know it was at least sprained, if not broken, but it did not matter. Ranma was here and she embraced him

Ranma listened to her tell him through her tears about the ankle, but something else caught his attention. "You have blood all over you!"

She looked down at herself and it came back to her in an instant. Shame swept through her that she had been so scared that she had dared to forget about him. "TAROU!" she shouted at Ranma. "He was the one that saved me! He kept the rocks from hitting me, but I saw one," her voice dropped as she understood where the blood had come from. "Oh, kami," she whispered quietly. "One of the rocks hit him in the chest. I...I think it went through him, but he still kept the rocks from landing on me. There was so much blood, and some of it landed on me. I saw him spit..." Her voice trailed off, then grew louder as she remembered what had happened. "NO! We have to find him! He's still under the rocks!"

"Your ankle's all that's wrong?" Ranma asked softly as he detached himself from her grasp.

"Yes!" she shouted back. "I'll be fine. We have to rescue Tarou! Hurry, Ranma! He's hurt bad!" She began crying again. He had been protecting her. HER! She was the one responsible for his being hurt. She had to make sure he was all right. He was too powerful to allow a mountain to kill him. When it came right down to it, he was as persistent as Ranma. Tarou had to be all right.

"Did you see Shampoo?" Ranma asked her.

"I think she was over there," Akane waved in a general direction of where she had thought she had seen what might have been Shampoo lying on the ground. "We have to get Tarou first! He was right next to me! We have to rescue him!" She looked at the rubble around her. He had been next to her when it happened. Tarou had to be right there. It would be easy to dig him out.

She attempted to raise herself to her feet when she realized Ranma had wandered off. What was he doing? "RANMA! We have to find Tarou! Help!"

Ranma gave her one backward glance, a look mixed with pain and shame. Slowly he shook his head, then shouted out, "SHAMPOO! ANSWER ME!" Several times hollered as loud as he could, and hearing no answer, began to push the rocks by where Akane had indicated she had last seen the Amazon. It didn't matter if he had to dig out the entire mountain. He would do it to find her.

"Ranma," was all Akane could say. Somehow, she knew too. She at last understood what that glance had meant when she was first able to see the expression on Ranma's face.

Ranma sifted through the rubble until his eyes fell upon several strands of purple hair near a boulder.

"SHAMPOO!"

He hefted the ton of rock aside as though it was a paperweight.

Cologne used her staff, and what was the last of her strength to heave the boulder off of her. She was out of power; only the barest minimum was left to help keep her alive. She had been almost to the cave of the Shogun of the Dark when the passageway collapsed. In less than a second she used a technique of the Earth School and her staff to make the rocks form a protective pocket around her. A piece of rock did manage to get through and stun her, she could still feel the blood drip from the cut on her forehead that it had produced, but now she was recovered and could help out.

She had heard the majority of the conversation between Happosai and Maelstrom, but had been too weak and out of it to do anything, at least until now. About the only thing she had missed was what Happosai wished for. Since all had been silent since then, she feared the worst as she looked towards where she had heard the voices through the rock. She slowly walked over several large boulders to a more flattened area. Sorrow struck through her as she witnessed the scene before her. There was no Dragon King. No Continuum either. The only thing present was Happosai, lying on his back, eyes closed. Even from where she was, Cologne could see the life had left his diminutive form. Still, she needed to check. She needed to know for certain.

She went over and placed one hand on him. Now she knew the absolute truth. There was no life left in the body. The founder of the School of Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, one of the greatest perverts of all time, the insufferable, irritating, and yet somehow at one time, appealing martial artist had passed on from this world to the next. He had saved everyone at the cost of his own life, and only those that were on the mountain would ever know the truth. No one else would believe it. Cologne scarcely could.

Then her mind turned to other matters of more personal importance. "Shampoo." She hurried as quickly as she could back to where she had last seen her great-granddaughter.

Within a minute Cologne crested a large rock and was able to look upon the scene before her all at once. Akane was off to the side crying over something shielded from Cologne's position. But closer to the elder, and more importantly to her, was Ranma. He was on his hands and knees, doing the one thing Cologne had not seen since her first meeting with the boy all of those long months ago.

Ranma was crying.

Despite knowing what was there, she approached closer. Again she had to see it with her own eyes. She had to be certain here too.

Her breath caught as she saw what Ranma had cradled in his hands. There was no need to check as she had with Happosai. The body of Cologne's great-granddaughter was recognizable only from the red-stained purple hair that Ranma was holding. Feeling closer to a thousand years old than her three hundred, Cologne approached Ranma.

It was the longest ten yards in her life.

She watched Ranma, somehow ignoring the...condition Shampoo was in, stroke those strands, unmindful or uncaring of what he was doing. He sobbed softly the words Shampoo had wanted to hear for so long and would never be able to listen to:

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize it before now.

"It was you.

"It was always you.

"I love you."

Epilogue

Light returned as Maelstrom's vision cleared. The little human had spoken so softly that even the Dragon king had not heard what the wish was.

But Continuum had heard.

Now Maelstrom found himself on a barren rock, devoid of everything. There was no atmosphere. Nothing. Only his powers as a Dragon King allowed him to survive the vacuum. He stretched his newfound senses out to find something, anything he could control, but there was nothing. Not even an amoebae.

{WHAT HAPPENED?!} the last of the Dragon Kings raged. {I WAS SUPPOSED TO RULE ALL OF THE LIVING THINGS ON THE EARTH. THAT WAS MY WISH. THE HUMAN COULD NOT INTERFERE WITH IT!}

*It did not.* A voice in Maelstrom's head said. Immediately he understood this was something Continuum had left in his mind, informing him of what had happened.

{WHAT DO YOU MEAN?}

*Your wish was not interfered with. It is still intact.*

{IMPOSSIBLE!} Maelstrom screamed at the voice in his head. {I FEEL NOTHING. NOTHING! I CAN CONTROL NOTHING IF I CANNOT SENSE IT!}

*That is because there is nothing left to feel. Your wish was to control all of the living things on Earth until its end. You have. You see, that is where you are now. The other wished for you to be moved forward in time. That did not interfere with your wish. You still have the ability to control every living thing on earth. However, there are no living things on earth, and have not been for over one hundred million years.*

The booming of Maelstrom's 'voice' was now but a shadow of its former self. {A...DEAD WORLD? THAT IS ALL I HAVE?}

*Not for much longer. The other wished that you be moved forward in time to a point right before the sun expands to become a red giant. It wanted to take no chances on you finding your way back. The sun has already done so. The expansion will char this planet into a cinder, and unquestionably kill you.*

Maelstrom felt the presence depart, leaving him truly alone. He looked to the sun, aware of the fact that it had already begun to expand and all he was seeing now was the light from it some eight minutes ago. At that point Maelstrom did the only thing he could do.

He laughed.

He laughed long.

He laughed hard.

After all. He had managed to outlive every human on Earth.

In the end, he had gotten his wish after all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

NO. THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER YET, IN SPITE OF HOW IT SEEMS. THERE IS STILL MORE TO COME. I SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEND THE NEXT ONE OUT IN THREE OR FOUR DAYS. HOPEFULLY ^_^.

Special thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Bloodblade  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Wade Tritschler


	38. And With Naught but My Flesh, I Dared to Challenge the Gods Themselves

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 38

And With Naught But My Flesh, I Dared to Challenge the Gods Themselves

Standard disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters.

BTW, Ranma and Shampoos' vows are meant to mirrior each other but for the life of me formatting keeps getting messed up 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Where am I?"

Shampoo tried looking around to see where she was. It seemed to her that she was floating in some kind of void. Everything around her felt...odd. Empty. It was neither hot nor cold. It seemed to lack any temperature at all. As to the surroundings themselves, there was nothing to them. No light. No gray. Nothing but an eternal night completely devoid of stars. However, the pitch blackness was not frightening, nor was it comforting. Again it simply was.

How had she arrived in the void? The last thing she remembered was being paralyzed and dying. Everything was beginning to grow dark. Then there was a loud roar, followed by the roof of the cavern cracking...

*FLKT*

Shampoo remembered that she was six years old when she woke to the sounds of her mother saying something in an agitated voice. From her position in her bed she looked out her window at the moon. It was still late at night, not early morning, she was certain of that, and if she got up and was caught she would be punished. Her mother was a stickler for rules, and was almost always certain to discipline Shampoo for breaking them without a good excuse. Curiosity was not one of them.

Shampoo had tried to go back to sleep. Really she had, but it was no use. Curiosity won out over caution, so she attempted to move silently as she closed the distance between her bed and the door. For most girls it would probably have been easy, but Shampoo's mother, Comb, had the hearing of a cat, and somehow always seemed to know when Shampoo tried to sneak out of bed. Still, she just had to know why her mother was still up and speaking so loudly.

It couldn't have been with her father; he never argued with her. Whatever her mother said, her father went along with. He was a proper male that knew his place and obeyed his wife. Comb saw to it her only child understood that obedience was a necessary trait for any boy she should become interested in. But when Shampoo mentioned that to her great grandmother, the old one just smiled and got a funny look to her face, saying that a male with spirit was a far better catch than some spineless jellyfish, and that if Shampoo's mother hadn't been burned so badly in the past she could admit to it too.

All of the talk was just plain silly to Shampoo. All boys were yucky except Mousse. He was fun to play with and would split candy with her whenever he got some. At least until recently. Now he kept saying he loved her, then she would have to hit him for being stupid. At least he wasn't like that all the time.

She returned her attention to the noises in the living room. It sounded as though it was Shampoo's great grandmother that was talking with her mother. That was cause for alarm. Shampoo practically worshipped the ground her great grandmother walked upon, and any arguments between her family always stung her. They did not occur frequently, but they did happen. Praying to the gods, she tried opening the door slightly, just a crack so she could see what was really going on. She moved it, centimeter by centimeter, the well-oiled door not making a sound. Once there was enough space she looked out into the room.

It was indeed Cologne with whom Comb was arguing. The old one appeared as inscrutable as ever, while her mother appeared ready to lash out at her with a nearby spear.

"You can't take her from me!" Comb shook as she protested.

For a moment, Shampoo had thought her great grandmother spotted her as Cologne turned an eye to the door. If so she said nothing about as she responded to the accusation in a manner that brooked no arguments. "It has to be done. She has to start now if there is to be any hope for her to attain leadership. Her young mind is ripe for learning all of the things she needs to know, and the longer I wait the more difficult it will be for her to master all I can teach her."

"She's too young. Why, she's nothing more than a baby. She needs more time with me. I can teach her what she needs to know!"

Shampoo had never seen her mother so agitated. Ever. Comb was hardly legendary for controlling her temper, and sometimes she even spoke out against Cologne (in private, of course), but always it was with some moderation. To openly plead like she was doing was unthinkable. Always she carried herself with pride and dignity, at least in Shampoo's eyes.

Cologne shook her head. "You lack the ability to do that effectively, as you well know. You will give in to your sympathy and not push her as hard as you must."

"Yes I can!" Comb responded through gritted teeth.

"You say that now," Cologne said, as though talking to a child. "But it will only be a matter of time before your resolve breaks and you'll coddle her. She must come with me."

"No!"

Shampoo watched on in horror as her mother balled her fists up and appeared ready to lash out at her own grandmother.

If Cologne took any notice of the move, she did not outwardly show it. Instead she simply remained where she was, as though there was no danger to her at all. "She is the family's best hope for the next leader. You know that. Are you prepared to allow the family to lose this honor, all because you have no faith in me?"

The strength seemed to leave Comb's body as she unclenched her fists. Slowly she rocked back on her heels. Shampoo recognized that as a sure sign her mother was thinking hard. She would do it when deciding Shampoo's punishment when she did something really bad, like accidentally lighting a neighbor's house on fire. How was she to know oil was THAT flammable?

Comb at last stopped rocking and triumphantly placed her hands on her hips. "I have it. Take me instead. I'd love to be matriarch!"

Cologne released a tired sigh. "That won't work and you know it."

"Why?" Comb protested. "I'm eager to learn and a great warrior."

Cologne shook her head as a note of exasperation entered her voice. "You are also overly emotional, show poor judgment in most matters, and hate men."

Shampoo looked on as her mother's face began to twitch. "I am not overly emotional! I have fine judgment! AND I DO NOT HATE MEN!"

Cologne gave a flat stare in return. "I see. You have demonstrated your point quite well. You have my thanks."

Comb regained her composure, realizing what a fool she had just made of herself. She rocked back on her heels for a few more moments before giving Cologne a scowl. "Why don't you just come out and say it?"

Cologne appeared genuinely surprised. "What are you talking about?"

Comb's scowl switched to a cold stare. "Mother told me all about how the two of you discussed training me as your heir and future matriarch," Comb's voice dropped some. "Before she died."

Shampoo watched on as her mother brushed her hair back and composed herself.

"I asked her, you know. I wanted to be just like you. I worshipped the ground you walked on, at least before I learned what a cold-hearted bitch you really are!"

Shampoo barely caught herself before gasping out loud. How could her own mother say that to great grandmother?!

Cologne's eyes narrowed in response. "What did she tell you?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Comb replied coldly. "I know what she said, but I want the words to come from your mouth. I need to hear them in your voice, not my mother's."

The two locked stares with one another. It was almost thirty seconds later when Shampoo was shocked once again when her great grandmother acquiesced.

In a voice that could barely be heard, Cologne repeated those words from so long ago. "I said I loved you too much to put you through what I had undergone at the hands of my own grandmother."

Comb seemed satisfied with that declaration. "You loved me too much to do that to me. You loved me too much." She seemed to savor those words for a moment, then venom laced her voice once more. "You claim to love me, yet you would tear my only child, your only great granddaughter, from me. I don't know what I would do without that sort of 'compassion' in my life. Thank you for caring about me so much!"

"It is because she is my only great granddaughter that I must to do this. And it has to be done now. I don't believe I can go another generation without choosing an heir, and I refuse to allow the mantle of leadership pass from our family line without a fight! Xian Pu will come with me!"

The last of Comb's energy seemed to pass from her as she slumped into a nearby chair. Her body appeared exhausted and her spirit drained as she gave Cologne an evil glare. "And as always, the matriarch's will is the way. Who am I to stand in the way of the ultimate wisdom that you possess? I am but a lowly fool, incapable of thinking for herself. You win again, as always, Grandmother." Comb turned to the door Shampoo was hiding behind. "Come here, Xian Pu."

Shampoo cowered for a moment, then realized both women had been aware of her presence the entire time. Sheepishly she revealed herself, waiting to have both women punish her. As she was considering how to come up with an excuse about still being awake, she caught sight of the tears in her mother's eyes. That shocked Shampoo, for her mother never cried.

Comb composed herself as the tears disappeared with a wipe of her sleeve. "You are going to be living with your great grandmother from now on."

"I am?" Shampoo asked in bewilderment. Was that the punishment she was receiving for her staying up too late?

"Yes, child." Cologne gave a warm smile to Shampoo, causing her to relax. "We're going to begin training for something very important. It will make you a great warrior. You do want to be a great warrior, don't you?"

Shampoo stood up proudly, just as she knew she should. "Of course I do! I want to be the best warrior ever!"

"Then you will come to live with me from now on. Won't that be nice?"

Shampoo felt a little scared at that. She had spent nights over at her great grandmother's house before, but living there forever? "Can I still see Mother and Father?" she asked with uncertainty.

"Of course, child," Cologne reassured her. "Every day that you want."

That perked Shampoo up. She was going to receive training to be a great warrior, just like she always wanted. Then everyone would like her and respect her, especially her mother. And she was still going to spend time with her parents every day. That didn't seem so bad. Her mother must have misunderstood and overreacted.

"You make it sound like a vacation," Comb said acidly, then shifted her attention to Shampoo. She softened then, and moved forward to embrace her. "You behave for your great grandmother. You do what she says, like a good little girl. And make sure you come home every day. I'll be waiting for you."

Shampoo gave a tired sigh to all of the 'mothering' she was receiving. Why did parents always have to be like that and embarrass her? She was already a big girl, and it wasn't like she was going far away. It was just to the far side of the village. After replying with the appropriate amount of 'Yes, Mother's,' they packed up some clothes for her to spend the night. Her father would take the rest of the things over the next day.

Shampoo gave her mother one last hug before leaving. Comb seemed so sad over her going away, but it was her big chance to become the greatest warrior there was. And she did love her great grandmother, so it wasn't all that scary to her. If she was going to be the greatest warrior ever, she couldn't let herself be afraid of little stuff like that.

As she left her home dwindled in the distance, Shampoo began to have second thoughts. All of a sudden it was scary to be leaving her home. It really was all she had known all of her life, and the idea of it changing was disconcerting. Maybe she could change her mind and ask to go back. She already missed her mother, and it hadn't even been five minutes.

"Having second thoughts?" Cologne asked.

"No!" Shampoo answered too quickly. She was not scared, and even if she was, she would not show it next to her great grandmother. The diminutive woman was never afraid of anything, and Shampoo wanted to be courageous just like that.

"I was when I had to move in with my own grandmother to begin training," Cologne reminisced.

That was a shock to Shampoo. "You were afraid of something?"

Cologne gave her a toothy grin. "Only a fool never fears. Are you a fool, Xian Pu?"

That was a silly question. "No."

"Then are you afraid of leaving home?" Cologne asked.

All of a sudden Shampoo felt she had been tricked somehow. Brave warriors weren't supposed to be afraid, but now her great grandmother seemed to be implying she should be. "Maybe I am just a tiny little bit." She held her fingers barely apart and showed that to Cologne as an example of how little she was afraid.

"That's very courageous of you. Let's keep going."

Shampoo beamed at the compliment. Her great grandmother said she was courageous. That was all she needed to bolster her courage and move with more zest in her step than she had before.

It was as they were almost to Cologne's house when the old woman said something. Shampoo heard uncharacteristic emotion in her great grandmother's voice.

"We are about to embark on a long and difficult path, Xian Pu. I only hope when it's all over you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

Shampoo stared at her, confused. "I don't understand what you mean. I want to do this. I want to be a great warrior."

Cologne looked at her softly. "I said very much the same thing to my own grandmother. It was only later when I truly learned what it was I had to do. And of course, by then, it was too late to undo what had already been done. In the end, I never did forgive her."

Shampoo wasn't sure what to say, so she went with the first thing that came to mind. "I'll forgive you, great grandmother." She leaned over and kissed Cologne on the cheek.

Cologne laughed at that, then shook her head sadly. "To be so young and innocent. How unfortunate you have to lose all of that for what must come. That is the way of things."

To Shampoo, the comment seemed directed more at the matriarch herself than at her, so she remained silent as the duo continued on their way. Shampoo silently vowed she would never be sorry for choosing to follow the path her great grandmother would lay before her.

And she never was.

*FLKT*

Shampoo still found herself floating in the void while wondering what had happened and why she was thinking of things from her childhood. True, that was a defining moment for her, but she had never been able to remember it so clearly.

*FLKT*

Thirteen year old Shampoo's feet automatically moved, one in front of the other as she and her great grandmother made their way through the crowd. She had been only dimly aware of the silence and accusing stares that met her as she had walked through the crowd and deeper into the village, away from the eyes of the others with only her great grandmother as her companion.

"You did well today, my child," Cologne told her. "I was concerned you wouldn't do what justice cried out for. It pleases me that you are showing yourself capable of holding up under such pressures. Do not concern yourself about any shame the council will try to set upon you for your actions today. I'll deal with them."

Shampoo was only dimly aware of her great grandmother's words. There was only one sound she could hear. It was still continuing in an unbroken cacophony of noise, as clear as though it were being voiced from right next to her, despite the fact it was really coming from a hundred yards back at the challenge log.

It was the sound of Perfume's screaming.

"I know what you did was difficult, but it was nec..." Cologne trailed off as she became aware of Shampoo no longer walking alongside her.

Shampoo's feet had stopped moving of their own accord. Now she simply gazed downward.

"Xian Pu, why have you stopped?"

Shampoo showed no emotion, ignoring the question and staring at the sword that had never been sheathed. It had remained at her side as she stared at her handiwork. The cut had been long and deep, just as she had wanted. After she determined that, Shampoo then jumped off the log and made her way through the crowd. Now, as she stopped, she examined the blade more closely. It was lowered at an angle towards the ground, and the blood from the slash was slowly dripping down the edge of the sword. A part of her mind acknowledged how odd it was that not all of it had run off before. Perhaps she had been holding it at a higher angle.

"Xian Pu. Keep walking."

Shampoo took no notice of the command as she watched the red fluid collect at the tip of the sword. She found herself captivated by the sight, watching...no, fixated by the small crimson line that hugged the point of her blade. She could think of nothing else. There was nothing else, except for the blood, the blood that gravity tugged with agonizing slowness, drawing it into a small globe that grew until finally gravity won out and a single red drop fell, only to be absorbed by the ground. Almost as soon as it landed two more drops followed, soaked up just as greedily by the soil, but the two new arrivals were clear, not red. It took a moment for Shampoo to understand to understand why they were different and what they were.

"Xian Pu! I said keep walking! There is no time for this!"

Tears.

"I said keep walking."

They were tears.

"Xian Pu!"

They were her tears.

Strength left her legs as she fell to her knees, releasing the sword and whispering softly. "What have I done?"

Cologne's voice remained in its state of command. "Stop crying, now! You cannot allow the others to see this weakness in you!"

Shampoo at last was able to look at her great grandmother. Her voice became louder and the tears flowed more readily and her voice took on a sobbing quality. "What did I do? What did I do?!"

"You did what had to be done. She betrayed you." Cologne insisted as she looked around, watching for any others that might see the spectacle that was occurring in the middle of the street.

"No!" Shampoo protested, her voice growing louder. "She was my friend. She didn't mean it. It's all a misunderstanding. She wouldn't betray me!"

"Yes, she did," Cologne hissed. "Now pick yourself up. It's undignified for you to behave this way. Get up now!"

"I hurt her," Shampoo said, almost inaudibly as she repeated it over and over again. "I hurt her. I hurt her. I hurt her!"

Shampoo's voice rose with each declaration. It was only a hard blow from Cologne's staff that knocked Shampoo flat on the ground and silenced the purple-haired Amazon, shocking her out of her mantra. Shampoo rose up on her hands and looked at her great grandmother in shock, and was suddenly very frightened by what she saw. It seemed to Shampoo that the woman towered over her, despite only being several inches below her eye level.

"You will stop crying like an infant now!" Cologne warned as the staff found its way into the crook of her arm. "Perfume was not your friend. She was a base betrayer that wormed her way into your heart and stabbed you in the back. She was the worst kind of enemy you could ever have. What you did to her was the least that she deserved. Were you several years older it would have been within your rights to challenge her to the death for what she has done. It's fortunate for her that all she received was a scar to serve as a reminder of what it means to betray you."

"No," Shampoo protested softly. "I shouldn't have hurt her."

Further protests died on her lips as she saw the glare her great grandmother gave her. Suddenly Shampoo was truly afraid of her great grandmother for perhaps the first time in her life.

"Listen to me and listen to me well." Cologne maintained her glare. "You shall stop crying like a small child now. You will stand up and listen to what I have to say. Now!"

Shampoo shot up to her feet, drying her tears and bowing her head in shame to her great grandmother.

"You have done nothing to her! Do you understand me? Nothing!" Cologne hissed. "Do you think giving someone like that a scar means anything? She will live, and in perfectly good health, which is far more than she deserves. You should have been willing to kill her for what she had done to you. What you did today means nothing! What you did to Perfume means NOTHING!"

Cologne continued her stare. "When you become leader someday, you will be forced to do many terrible things to good people. That is the price one pays for being a good leader. You will not always have the option of making an easy choice, and oftentimes the right ones will hurt those that do not deserve pain in their lives. It is not fair to them, but that is the way of things in the real world. I am trying to prepare you slowly for this, but it is time you learned that lesson. There may come a time when you have to send friends, good people, to their deaths because you must. You cannot allow sentimentality to get in the way.

"I know, because I had to do that very thing. Aspirin was my best friend in the world, both growing up and later in life when I ascended to leadership of the tribe. She was always there with a kind word, a helping hand, a friendly smile. She pushed me ever onward to the greater heights I wanted to rise to, but was afraid to try. I do not know what would have happened to me if she had not been there, serving as perhaps the true force behind my successful rise to leadership. It would have taken me longer at the very least, and perhaps I would not have succeeded at all. Sometimes I don't wonder if she was the better of us. The Gods know she was at least almost my equal in many ways, and superior in many other aspects. I have never met any other of her ilk in all of my years, and I know in my heart I never will again. She was unique, and I don't believe I fully appreciated it until she was gone. You cannot understand what someone truly means to you until they are no longer there, and all too often it is too late to do anything about it other than to feel remorse."

An unachievable longing filled Cologne's face as she continued. "For a little while I had a vague hope Perfume might be able to perform a similar function for you, but such was not the case. She craved power. I could see it the first time I laid eyes on her after you revealed your relationship with her. What you did today was right and necessary. She brought this suffering upon herself and should count herself fortunate that all you did was scar her. You have to be willing to risk hurting those close to you for the better of all. That was what I had to do with Aspirin. It was a hundred years ago someone stole something important to us and I had to send a small group to recover the items. It was little more than a suicide mission, but we had to try. Aspirin was the best one to lead the group."

Shampoo gazed sadly at her great grandmother, feeling some sympathy through her own pain. "You sent her?"

Cologne nodded. "I had to. It was for the good of the many. I could not weigh a single sister's life over that of all the others. Self-centeredness is a luxury a leader cannot afford and sacrifices have to be made. The world will demand them of you in some way. No matter how hard you try to avoid them, you will be confronted with choices which will end up hurting others no matter what you do. And trying to avoid making such decisions will only hurt everyone in the long run. Aspirin knew that, which is why she accepted. She actually managed to succeed in the mission, even though it ended up costing her life."

"I could never do something like that," Shampoo said softly.

Shampoo had never seen the look Cologne gave when she finished saying that. It seemed to be a longing sadness with a mixture of pity. Beyond that Shampoo could not say. But the words her great grandmother spoke ended up disturbing her for a very long time to come.

"I said the exact same thing myself when my grandmother told me that. You'll learn how to make sacrifices, Xian Pu. You'll learn."

*FLKT*

She did not want to remember that terrible day. Why was she being assailed like that? She had mended the bridges with Perfume, and though the closeness they had shared could never be reclaimed, they had arrived at a mutual peace.

*FLKT*

The strange Japanese boy must have been lying. Either that or Shampoo had misunderstood what he meant when he said they would 'spar' with one another. No. It was probably a trap, just as she feared. He was trying to get himself an Amazon bride by defeating her in combat. Surely he was trying to do everything he could to subdue her. No one was as good as that when they merely trained. No. He misled her into thinking it was only a practice match, getting her to drop her guard so that he could later claim that it was real combat and he had defeated her fairly.

It was such a betrayal, but she had been warned that outsiders were an egotistical lot that believed the Amazons were nothing more than a lot of backwater primitives that could be taken advantage of as though they were children. She would teach the boy a lesson between that stereotype and the reality of the matter.

It really was unfortunate because Ranma had seemed so polite and friendly, not at all like the few arrogant males that would come to the village thinking the 'little girls' there were some kind of joke. Even the man called Pop seemed to regard her and her martial arts as something worthy of great respect. Ranma had treated her very nicely, at least when he wasn't depressed over the fact he turned into a girl when splashed with cold water. Shampoo had even comforted him in the last rainstorm they were caught in, not that he hadn't done the same for her since she too despised her cursed form. If it had not been for the sadness in Ranma's eyes every time he looked down at his female body, a sorrow that was mirrored in Shampoo, she wondered where she would have found the strength to continue. Her life was over. No Amazon had fallen victim to Nanniichuan in over three hundred years, but those that had before that had all met the same fate: Death. Not that she felt like continuing on with such a repulsive male body. Better to receive an animal curse than to turn into the exact opposite of what an Amazon warrior was supposed to be.

But Ranma somehow managed to deal with his curse. And if an outsider male could come to terms with his -admittedly superior because it was female- cursed body, then how could Shampoo do no less in adjusting to her own curse-induced sex change? It was a matter of pride, as well as some basic need to try to find reason to survive, that enabled her to appear strong most of the time when she was a male. There were even certain advantages to having a male body. Like being much stronger than when she was a female. And then there was being able to go to relieve herself standing up, although having to touch her new...appendage was more than a little discomforting. There wasn't supposed to be anything there, not for her anyway. She even had to forgo her underwear and steal some that was drying out on a clothesline. She found that after her first change into a male that her normal undergarments were far too confining. She had been reduced to wearing men's underwear now. It was so embarrassing for the champion of the village to have to do something that degrading. At least no one back home knew of that particular shame.

So she and Ranma had comforted one another as they tried to deal with their curses, each drawing strength from the other. At least until now.

She brought out her bonbori and swung at his ribcage. She would not try to kill him, no matter how he had misled her. She owed him far too much. No, Shampoo would choose to simply smash in a couple of his lower ribs and maybe an arm if he refused to back off. She saw there was surprise in his eyes as he avoided the first blow, which was soon followed by a second and then a third. Her opponent began ranting about something in Japanese, but Shampoo was not about to let up to concentrate on the words. His actions told her all she needed to know.

Faster and faster he dodged the bonbori strikes, but made no offensive moves of his own. He simply kept ranting in Japanese. The longer the fight went, the more she was beginning to wonder if what Ranma was trying to say was important. She deliberately left a small opening on her defense, seeing if Ranma would exploit it. When he did not she left a more obvious hole in it. Still Ranma did not try to take the advantage. In fact, he chose to jump up in a tree and make placating gestures towards her rather then try to attack. She listened carefully to his words as he tried explaining once more that he was merely practicing and asked why she was trying to kill him.

It was with great difficulty she tried to speak to him in his own tongue. "Ranma try beat Shampoo real, not make believe."

"I was just sparring, really," he insisted.

She gazed at him suspiciously, but there appeared to be little duplicity in his eyes, and she did so want to believe him. "Ranma fight too good make believe. Look real."

"Nope. I was just practicin'. When I go all out you'll know it."

She felt her suspicions begin to die off. "Ranma no try to win Shampoo wife?"

She watched as he facefaulted out of the tree and hit the ground. "Why Ranma throw self to ground? Ranma try kill self?"

"No!" he gasped as he picked himself up and brushed the dust off of him. "What made you think I was trying to win you as a wife?"

"When outsider male challenge Amazon and win, Amazon have to marry. Is law."

"I don't want to marry you!" Ranma protested, causing Shampoo to feel the slightest bit of irritation at the vehemence of it. Not that she wanted Ranma as a husband, even if he was somewhat cute. The timing was all wrong.

"Can't we just practice?" he asked.

Shampoo nodded. As long as it was clear it was only a practice and not a challenge, marriage rules did not apply. In light of the misunderstanding, both agreed to not practice until the next day when tempers would have cooled off.

"Besides, who would want to marry a violent Chinese chick like you?" Ranma mumbled under his breath as he turned away. He suddenly found a bonbori thrust no more than a centimeter away from his face.

"What Ranma mean when call Shampoo, 'violent Chinese chick'?" She had known enough Japanese to tell that he had been referring to her, and she did not like the tone of voice in which he had said it.

"Umm, it's Japanese for 'a really strong, attractive warrior'."

Shampoo took a moment to translate what she could of that, then gave a radiant smile. "Yes. That right. Shampoo violent Chinese chick."

She watched Ranma give a nervous laugh and walk off. He made it no more than fifteen feet away when she called out, "Ranma?"

He turned slowly, allowing Shampoo to see a sheen of sweat that suddenly appeared across his forehead. She figured he was still overheated from their duel.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Shampoo think Ranma violent Chinese chick too."

For some odd reason he didn't seem to take the compliment well and stomped off, mumbling something to himself. She just shrugged. Japanese boys seemed to behave pretty weird, although she had meant what she has said about him being a great and attractive warrior. However, the cursed state she was in pretty much destroyed any desire to seek out possible mates. She wanted a cure first. Everything else was secondary to that. Once that was taken care of, her life could return back to normal. Still, perhaps she should get to know Ranma better. He certainly appeared to be a powerful fighter, and that was always a plus when looking for possible romantic partners. Yes. She would keep a close eye on such a seemingly interesting boy, even if he was confusing. Once her Japanese got better, she'd be able to understand Ranma better as well.

She shook her head. There were more important things to do, like seek cover from the impending rain that was fast approaching. Rain seemed to follow them wherever they went since they had each been cursed. It was like they were water magnets or something.

*FLKT*

Once more Shampoo realized she was still in the void as she wondered where that one had come from? She had not thought about that day in months. The whole situation was so bizarre.

*FLKT*

Shampoo-kun had been in the backyard, next to the koi pond, going through the motions of his kata, but even as he attempted a spinning leap kick he could tell his center was off. Even the basic forms were eluding him. He paused in mid-motion and noted that Kasumi was watching him closely once again from the back porch of the house. It was odd how she always seemed to be there when he was training, especially considering she didn't seem to practice the art itself. Perhaps she was considering starting it and wanted to ask if he would help train her. If so he would accept. Outside of Ranma, Kasumi treated him the nicest of all. Actually, she treated him a lot better than Ranma, but in his months of travel with the boy, the Amazon knew Ranma was hardly an overly sensitive guy. He wasn't deliberately callous, it just seemed he was cursed to put his foot in his mouth at the most inopportune moments. Small wonder since he was raised by Genma alone. It was a miracle Ranma turned out as well as he had without a real woman to raise him. Men were so limited.

Ranma. It all came back to him. He had asked Shampoo-kun to do the role of Romeo in the school play. The Amazon didn't know the first thing about acting, but had accepted anyway. Why? Because it meant he could kiss Ranma.

That sent a shiver down his spine. When had such strong feelings for the frequently irritating boy come about? Sure, Shampoo-kun admired him and his martial arts skills, which were admittedly better than the Amazon's own, but it went further than simple admiration of abilities. There was the soft side of Ranma he never showed knowingly to the rest of the world, and denied fervently when confronted with such accusations. The majority of the time he could be an unthinking egomaniac, yet somehow Shampoo-kun found that a little appealing as well. Very peculiar.

And why had Ranma asked Shampoo-kun? True, his stated reason was so that no real men kissed him, but could there have been something else? Perhaps he truly wanted to taste Shampoo-kun's lips, and given his promise of marriage to one of the Tendos, it was the only way he could without the fathers unleashing their anger on him.

That seemed silly to Shampoo-kun as well. It was true that occasionally back home marriages were arranged by families for a male to be wed to a female so that two clans could be united, but it was rarely done anymore. Cologne had made her opinion on that matter well known, stating such things did no good to the children themselves and there was a chance of weakness being bred into the family if one of the prospects proved herself unworthy of warrior status or if the man was weak. Far better to find a good, strong mate on one's own than leave it up to chance by linking two families in the hopes that each clan would provide a good spouse. Politics should have nothing to do with bloodlines. Personal worth was all that truly mattered, though politics had to be suffered to get anything done.

And Ranma was personally worthy; of that Shampoo-kun had no doubt. He was not only strong and handsome, he was Ranma, and that was the only word that could describe the immutable qualities which made him so irresistibly appealing. Akane certainly didn't appreciate it. All she ever seemed to do was pick fights with Ranma (well, he started them at least half the time too) in which he refused to fight back. If he tried treating Shampoo-kun like he was not worthy of fighting, he would 'educate' Ranma in just what defending oneself from an opponent, male or female, could entail.

Shampoo-kun shook his head of such negative thoughts. If Akane did not want the prize she was handed, fine. Shampoo-kun would be more than happy to show Ranma what it meant to be appreciated. And he would do it with their kiss for the play.

Poor, sweet, irritating Ranma would never know what hit him.

*FLKT*

Shampoo continued floating in the void. All remained the same until she felt a coldness off to what she perceived was her left. A coldness which seemed to suck at her very soul, absorbing all light and warmth. And the worst part about it was that the drain was familiar to her. Very familiar.

It was the same sensation she had in her talk with Mr. Domino.

And then it was gone, as though it had never truly existed. Once more she lost the ability to perceive either time or movement, nothing other than a sense of self, as she remained in the void.

*FLKT*

How ironic that at a time when Shampoo-kun and Kasumi had deliberately gone out to have fun together they had had their first argument. Well, as much as one could have an argument with Kasumi. They had arrived at the wedding on time and it had gone off without a problem. During the festivities afterwards, the bride, Miki, and the groom separated to talk to their respective friends. Observing Miki's joyful reaction to seeing Kasumi for the first time in years, Shampoo-kun decided to let the two of them reminisce and made himself scarce, keeping an eye on Kasumi from afar. Unfortunately all of the unattached women, and several that had arrived with someone else, took that as a signal to become excessively friendly with him. The annoying females seemed to make a contest of trying to gain his attention, practically coming to blows over it. Showing disinterest seemed to spur them on to try harder, and he couldn't beat up a couple to make examples of them. He was not going to ruin the reception and Kasumi's good time because he was receiving unwanted attentions similar to the ones back in Nerima. He was simply going to have to smile and live with it.

He watched Kasumi sit at one of the tables across the room and continue to drink with the bride. She almost seemed to glare at Shampoo-kun. Of course he knew he was mistaken; Kasumi never glared. It had to have been an error on his part from the distance he was from her. Eventually the bride left and was replaced by a man whom Shampoo-kun took an instinctive dislike. Even from that distance the stranger reeked of the same arrogance Mikado possessed. The Amazon watched as the man talked with Kasumi for a few minutes, then whispered something in her ear which made her blush. She gave a look to Shampoo-kun, then followed the man outside. The disbelief over Kasumi's erratic behavior almost made the Amazon miss the vain male place a hand around Kasumi's waist as they went outside to one of the gardens next to the building. Shampoo-kun had been only vaguely aware of knocking over two of his female admirers as he rushed outside. Curiously, his entourage chose not to follow.

Once outside, it only took him a few moments to spot Kasumi leaning against a wall, the man standing far too close to her for his own sake. Even from behind, Shampoo-kun could smell the airs the Mikado-like man possessed, and as the Amazon approached he could hear the man chuckle with a sound that instantly grated on Shampoo-kun's nerves. Oh yes, there was no doubt from the tone of voice and the motions of his body that the man was trying to seduce Kasumi. Shampoo-kun's Kasumi. The Amazon had to reaffirm to himself he would not simply drive the man's head into a wall when he was close enough.

He moved behind the loathsome creature that was trying to beguile sweet Kasumi and placed his hand around the back of the man's neck, forcefully turning him around. The displeasure in the man's stare, as he was made to look at one who would dare interrupt him in his 'game' disappeared once he saw the hate etched in Shampoo-kun's face.

Shampoo-kun lifted him several inches off the ground by the scruff of his neck, as though he were a rag doll, and informed him that, "There is somewhere else you have to be." The man scurried away like a rat, the Amazon resisting the urge to give him a swift kick to send him on his way. When he turned to Kasumi, the same glare that he had seen earlier had returned.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

Shampoo-kun felt as though he was stabbed through the heart. "Did you want to be with him?"

The glare lasted just a moment longer, then disappeared as Kasumi appeared as though she was about to cry. "No. I want to be with you. But you avoided me since the reception started and were hanging around with those... women."

That last word was laced with a venom Shampoo-kun had never heard from the girl, and he wondered why Kasumi appeared so openly... jealous? That seemed the appropriate word. Perhaps she had had too much to drink. "I not even like any of them. They was annoying. I wanted to be with you, but I thought you would want some time alone with you friend."

Kasumi seemed to soften further with that. "No more than a few minutes. It was wonderful to see her again, but I wanted you there at my side."

"I sorry." Shampoo-kun brought his hands upon Kasumi's shoulders, in a gesture to reassure her of his desire to please her, and stroked them through the material of her dress.

She tensed up for a moment, then moved forward and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in the center of his chest. He smiled in response and embraced her in return.

"You're the one I want to be with," she murmured into his chest.

"I want to be with you too."

She looked up into his eyes, staring deeply into them with a longing Shampoo-kun recognized. It was all too similar to the one she had when under the influence of the love pill. Yet this time there was no fear or even uneasiness. Tonight it was a comforting gaze, and he did not resist when she brought herself to her full height and kissed him on the lips. The smell of Kasumi's perfume, a mixture of jasmine and orchids, filled his nostrils and heightened his awareness of the girl, no, woman that was in his embrace. And just as in the cave, he found himself returning that perfect kiss, though for longer than a moment. This time there was no resistance from within. Not here. Not tonight. That was why he had felt such raw hatred for the man that had talked with Kasumi. Shampoo-kun did not want to lose her now. Inside each wanted it to be their moment, nothing outside of the two of them existed any longer.

They returned to the reception, inseparable from one another. No one else wasted their time trying to talk to either one alone. There was not a single person in the room that was able to miss the connection the two now shared. They danced the night away, enjoying each other's exclusive company, save when Miki spoke alone with Kasumi every now and then. Guests left one by one until there was only a handful left, curiously including the bride and groom. Just as Shampoo-kun and Kasumi were about to leave, Miki took the eldest Tendo girl aside and whispered something to her, which caused Kasumi to look wide-eyed at Shampoo-kun, then give an, 'Oh my! I couldn't!' Miki laughed in response and gave a mischievous grin directed at Shampoo-kun before seeking her new husband once more.

Shortly thereafter the pair grabbed a taxi and began their journey to the train station. They had remained at the reception far longer than Kasumi had planned and only had enough time to catch the last train to Nerima. On the way back, Shampoo-kun could not help noticing the sad look Kasumi had. It felt so terribly wrong for her to ever be disappointed, especially after what Shampoo-kun had done early on. He hoped there was something he could do to cheer her up.

"Why you so sad?"

She stared at Shampoo-kun for a moment, then seemed to grow sadder as she turned to the window before answering. "It's just that today felt so wonderful I wish it didn't have to end. I'd love to spend some more time away from everyone else. Just the two of us, even if it was only for a little while."

Kasumi had actually asked for something. Shampoo-kun could not remember her doing that to him before. At least not for anything more serious than, "would you pass the salt?" He considered the request. There were a million reasons why they could not, perhaps even more of why they should not, but didn't Kasumi deserve something for herself? Of course she did. She always gave to others, never asking nor expecting anything in return. Now she at last sought something the Amazon could give her, and at no real cost to himself. Just some more time with one another. Of course with what had gone on earlier in the night, the odds were very good of what that would lead to. Gazing into her eyes before, he knew that was what she wanted. Could he do something like that? What about Ranma?

Oh yes, Ranma. Ranma who jumped back and forth between Shampoo and Akane like each one was a hot potato, never holding on to one long before turning to the other. Ranma, who could be the most insensitive, thick-headed, egotistical jerk the Amazon had ever known. Ranma, who had blatantly groped Akari's chest right in front of Shampoo and didn't even have the decency to apologize or even to feel ashamed about it afterwards. Ranma, who almost seemed afraid to give Shampoo any sign of the affection he so desperately wanted.

And then there was Kasumi, who was deserving of at least a small piece of happiness. She had treated Shampoo-kun nicely, even after learning he was really a girl and the two had no engagement, one that Kasumi seemed to have wanted very much since that was the only time the Amazon had ever even heard of her taking the initiative in something like that. A lesser person might have held such a disappointment against Shampoo-kun, or at least not gone out of her way to be nice to him, but Kasumi did not. She never spoke of the matter at all, and in many ways was a much better emotional anchor than Ranma ever was, even at the best of times. The eldest Tendo girl was far more stable, and was always there. And she had shown a great deal of affection towards Shampoo-kun, even when she was female.

Now the question became could Shampoo-kun give something back to one that had given him so much. Could he make that sort of sacrifice?

"For the weekend."

Kasumi turned in wide-eyed wonder to look at Shampoo-kun. He nodded his head in affirmation to her unspoken question.

Whatever doubts he had dissolved with the smile that alighted Kasumi's face. Yes, Kasumi had smiled before, but not like that. Never like that. The joy she radiated was as pure as her kindliness. He wanted her to be like that all the time, but knew that would be an impossible dream. It was only for a weekend. Just two more days. But he would see to it she was happy no matter what.

Both moved forward, bringing their faces together and kissed once more.

"I take it you guys ain't headin' fer the train station now?" the cab driver asked.

After a call to the Tendo home, the two checked into a nearby hotel. When it came time to rent a room, Kasumi looked to Shampoo-kun, appeared as though she considered something, then shook her head with a crestfallen look. She then ordered a small room with two beds. She had barely finished when he spoke up and changed it to one. Kasumi's face remained pointed downward, but he could feel the joy and anticipation emanating from her. Tonight was her night, nothing reserved. He would give himself unto her with no inhibitions or doubts, for those would do nothing but either ruin the moment or the memory, no matter what repercussions there might be.

Much later, as they lay together after their lovemaking, Shampoo-kun took one moment to admire the pure beauty that made Kasumi what she was. A beauty that Shampoo-kun knew he could never truly hope to match, yet felt no jealousy over that truth. What they had done could not be continued for long, but she had given him some part of herself, even as he had given something of him to her. She was his first, and no matter what happened they would always have that. No one could ever take away that which they had shared, and it was a feeling he would treasure forever.

Gently he lowered his lips next to Kasumi's ear and whispered the words he felt within.

"Wo ai ni, Kasumi. Wo ai ni."

*FLKT*

Why was she having all of these flashbacks? She was not one to reminisce overlong about the past. She might occasionally pine for yesterday, or be lost for a little while on some errant memory, but nothing like the whole scale remembrance she was experiencing. And never had her memories possessed such vivid details. It was almost as though she was experiencing the retrospection in real life once again. Her whole life was flashing before her eyes. It was almost as if there was some reason for the walk through her memories. It was almost as if...

...as if she was dead.

"It's about time you figured that out."

She spun around to the first true noise she had heard since finding herself inexplicably in the void. Before her where there had been nothing was a fairly attractive black-haired gentleman that was her height and appeared to be in his middle-twenties. He was dressed in a creamy white silk shirt and brown pants, matching snakeskin boots and vest, and a brown fedora on his head. She brought her fists up before her. "Who are you? What am I doing here? Where am I?"

The man chuckled in a pleasant sounding voice. "The real question you should be asking is, 'Why are you here'?"

"What do you mean?"

"You already have the answers to your questions, you simply aren't aware of them yet."

The man seemed to walk across the nothingness as though it were solid. Shampoo was confused as to how he could do that until she realized she was turning to follow him. She could feel nothing beneath her feet, yet was moving as though her body was responding to her thoughts.

Shampoo temporarily moved that question to the back of her mind as she concentrated on what the man was saying. "The last thing I remember was Mount Phoenix. I was..." she trailed off as she suddenly became aware of her current condition.

"I'm not paralyzed anymore. I can move!" She did a backflip to prove her point. She was cured! There wasn't any pain from her back or any other body part. By some miracle, she was healed.

"You can move, in a fashion." The man stared deeply into her light-filled eyes. "But you still haven't answered the important question. Once again, 'why are you here'?"

That cut through Shampoo's joy as she thought about her situation once again. "The last thing I remember was that it was getting difficult to breathe and everything was getting dark. Then the ceiling came down. And then..."

"Go on," he urged when it was obvious she was not going to continue without being prodded.

"Then I was here," Shampoo said quietly.

"Now you know." There was the faintest hint of a smile on his face.

She tried desperately coming to a different conclusion. Perhaps someone had teleported her away. Could it all have been a nightmare and she was still at the Tendo home, sleeping away on her futon in her room? Maybe she was dreaming right now. Just because her life had passed before her eyes didn't mean...

"I'm dead."

"Yes," the man said with compassion in his voice, obviously satisfied with the answer. "You are."

Shampoo looked around once more. Still there was nothing but an endless void. "This is the Realm of the Dead?"

"Yes."

"I expected something a bit more...elaborate." Shampoo said, oddly calm in spite of the situation.

"It is what it is," he commented mysteriously. "This is the realm where all things that live must eventually come. It is the place where all things that die go before leaving for somewhere else. The time one stays here varies, but it's rarely for very long."

"It's awfully empty," Shampoo commented. It seemed they were the only two there. Where was everyone else?

"It is more vast than you can possibly imagine," he informed her. "Believe me when I say there are more things here at this moment than you could possibly hope to grasp with your limited senses."

She was still trying to fully understand the situation when she became aware of something else. Her eyes widened as she looked at the man before her and said, "That means you're-"

"-Death." Death took off his hat and bowed.

Shampoo, confronted with Death, said the only thing that came to mind.

"I thought you'd be a lot taller."

If Death was insulted, it did not show. "Don't look at me. You're the one that's conceptualizing me into this form."

"Oh," was Shampoo could say.

"Look," Death said as he began to explain. "What you see before you is your interpretation of me. I appear differently to each living thing. It all depends on what your mind can envision in its attempt to understand me. I am a conceptual entity, and have no 'true' form. Not one in the conventional sense, anyway. I simply am."

He gave a dramatic wave of his hand and continued. "Wherever there is life, I am there, waiting for my time to come. And it comes to all. There is nothing that lives that cannot die, and when it is time, I release what is alive from its shell and allow it to travel where it is meant to go. I am everywhere all at once. Even as I speak to you, I am doing the same thing to Effrim Venture, who sees me as a man shrouded in flame. To a dog that has just died I appear to be a ten foot high Chihuahua with blazing green eyes. In the Andromeda Galaxy several thousand Shonastas, a sentient form of light, have just been consumed by a nova. I appear to them as a varying series of flashes that you could not hope to even see since it goes far beyond your ability to perceive them. I am everywhere, and each one is the 'real' me. It is the way of things.

"Now that you are here, you are beyond the physical. That is why you feel no pain, because what you are now is all that is left when your body has gone on. That 'body' you have now is not physical, it is something you came up with to give what you are a form you can understand, just like you have done with me. Now that you are beyond the physical, time here is meaningless. You will not grow hungry. You will not know exhaustion or pain. You won't even grow hot or cold."

"I passed by something cold on the way here," Shampoo informed him.

Death's eyebrows knitted. "There are things worse than death. What you felt was a small part of Oblivion. Occasionally it, or one of its agents, passes through my realm to get to reality. Even as my fellow conceptual entities, Infinity and Eternity are related, so am I to Oblivion, although we are still very different in what we do. I simply end life so that what is left can go where it is supposed to, but Oblivion absorbs all, leaving nothing behind. It serves a necessary function, but sometimes I believe it oversteps its intended realm of influence and tries to consume more than it is supposed to."

He turned away from Shampoo then. "None of that is your concern. Just be thankful you were not obliterated. Believe me when I say I am preferable to that fate.

"I don't want to be dead," Shampoo said softly.

"Sorry. It's not as simple as changing your mind about what dress you want to wear to a dance," Death informed her. "Dead is dead." As he finished saying that, he gained a thoughtful gleam to his eyes. "Besides, are you sure? I brought an end to your suffering. You were in great pain when I came to you. Surely you didn't want to suffer?"

Shampoo began to feel doubts. "Of course not, but I don't want to be dead either."

Death gave a broad smile. One that was not frightening at all, not like one would expect when conversing with Death, anyway.

"Don't be afraid, Xian Pu. Death is natural. It gives definition to life, even as life gives definition to death. Birth. Life. Death. A finite cycle of experience. Now you have arrived at the end of the cycle, just like everyone eventually does. There is no need for fear here, just acceptance."

Shampoo shook her head fiercely. "I don't want to die! I want to be with my friends!"

"They will be here soon enough," Death informed her. "Their lifespans are next to nothing when compared with the entirety of time. Hardly any time will pass before every one of them will be with you."

"I don't want them dead either!" Shampoo insisted.

Death seemed not at all disturbed by her behavior. "I already told you, if it lives, it dies." He turned from her and held out his hand towards the ether. "Perhaps this will help calm you." From the area he pointed at a bright light, greater than anything Shampoo had ever seen before, suddenly winked into existence. If she had still possessed real eyes, she knew she would have been eternally blinded by that light, and she would not have felt bitter about it in the least. The light was more soothing than anything she had ever felt before. It was pure joy, and it called out to her heart, urging her to come forward and seek the peace it promised.

"You have not led a perfect life, but you are one that has tried, for the most part, to do the right thing in your heart. This is what your kind wants. This is what your existence has been created for; to know this moment. Life for your race can be compared to a great game, each person trying to vie for Heaven or Hell. And now that you are dead, know that you've won the contest. Embrace your reward: Rapture."

Shampoo felt that prefect harmony, carrying recognizable voices of a handful of people that she had known that had also died, beseech her to come forward, promising that she too could feel that unlimited bliss.

Whatever reservations she once had dissolved as she took a step towards the light.

The Realm of Life:

A thousand odd behaviors Ranma had displayed over the last few months finally made sense to him. Overreacting to the trust Shampoo had shown Kasumi in telling the eldest Tendo of the situation with her great grandmother. A trust not shared with him. The jealousy over the girls that had paid attention to the Amazon, and the ambivalence she sometimes displayed over that whole matter. The blind rage that blocked out everything when Mikado dared to kiss her. The first time he had almost kissed Shampoo on the rooftop when they were studying for the play. The naked hatred of Mousse and all of the times he repeatedly tried forcing himself on Shampoo, especially when the blind one tried to take her away from him by using the Nyanniichuan as leverage. The dread he felt when she inexplicably shut him out on the return trip from the Musk. The way he treasured the shirt she had made for him, the only piece of clothing he had ever taken care of in his entire life. The overwhelming despair that had threatened to consume him when he thought he was helpless and Kodachi's poison would kill Shampoo. Seeking her out first after the Ryu Kumon fight while ignoring the nearby Akane at the same time. The way he had come on to Shampoo's male form when Ranma had thought he was a real girl, and the recently returned memory of kissing the Amazon and the proposal. His desire for Shampoo the second time on the roof after his mother had moved in. Why he had followed Shampoo mere minutes before his impending wedding to Akane.

And the most important of all. When Ranma removed the rocks trapping someone, looked down and saw it was Akane, the very first feeling that went through him was not relief.

It was disappointment.

In his heart he had wanted it to be Shampoo.

Oh, guilt followed instantly on the heels of the disappointment. Akane deserved better than that, much better, but his instincts had led him to the answer he knew was true. He forced himself to make certain Akane was all right, even though his heart screamed at him to tear through the fallen rock in search of Shampoo. And he went on to find her.

He had found her.

And now he was crying. It no longer mattered what he had been taught by his father about 'real men' not crying, nothing mattered but the girl in his arms.

He felt Cologne gently place her gnarled hand in his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Ranma. She's dead."

She had given her heart to him, yet he had never done the same. How could he have been so blind? It was so clear now, everything between the two of them. Somewhere along the line he had fallen for her. There was no one moment he could point to that it happened, but it had happened all the same. Quietly she had made her way into his heart, so subtly he was not even aware of it until now. Now that it was too late.

"She never even knew," he sobbed out.

"I think she did know, deep down inside." That was a lie. It had been obvious there was still doubt in Shampoo's eyes at the end, but the boy needed comforting, and during this time he would be extremely vulnerable. Under different circumstances she probably would have allowed him to know her disappointment in not choosing Shampoo before it was too late, but she had made a promise Ranma would come to no harm. So she would do what it took to help the boy in whatever way she could.

Ranma shook his head. "No. The last time I saw her I could tell she was still worried about it." His voice dropped several octaves. "She d...died not knowing how much I l...loved her."

A sigh escaped Cologne's lips. There was nothing more she could to for the boy, and she could no longer bear the sight of her great granddaughter's remains. Instead, she focused on the only other person alive on the top of the mountain. Akane was on her knees, crying hard. As Cologne moved closer, she at last got a clear view of what the girl was weeping about.

Tarou had not survived the rockfall either. He was human now, everything below his upper chest crushed flat between two huge rocks, blood decorating the lower one in an almost flower-like pattern. His head was pointed with his face downward, which suited Cologne. She had no desire to see even his face in death, no matter how irritating he might have been. There had been too much death for any day.

Akane curled up into a fetal position, unable to stand the sight anymore. Her mind paused in memory of the boy. Tarou hadn't been perfect, far from it. Sometimes he had been very irritating. And other times it seemed as though he was hiding something from her, aside from his name. He had such anger over his name; anger Akane couldn't understand. So what if someone else had given him a name that was just a little strange? She had tried to reassure him numerous times his name didn't matter, but he had refused to open up about that. She wanted to take that pain away from him, and vowed to do it too, once she had the time. But her life had been just so busy with everything in it she was going to do it later. But now there was no later.

He said he loved her. He had never made any pretensions of that. She had known, yet did nothing to dissuade those feelings. She had known deep down inside that it must have hurt him to know she was engaged to someone else. Why had she kept him around, not stringing him on exactly, but not pushing him away either. Had he been some kind of safety net for her if Ranma had rejected her, or did she love Tarou too? No. She had not. Not that way. She cared for him deeply, he had been a good friend to her, and carried such pain that she wished to heal him of it, but it had not been what she had felt for Ranma. It was different from that.

And now, Tarou had died protecting her, and all for a love she couldn't return. It was all over for both of them, and all she could do was murmur, "Not fair. It's not fair," over and over again.

Ranma remained where he was, still gently stroking those strands of hair. He loved Shampoo, he knew it with such a burning intensity that he didn't understand how he could not have realized it before. He loved her so much it hurt, but it should have been a wonderful pain, not the tremendous agony he was going through now. It shouldn't have been that way.

She was dead, and it was all over for him. His love...no, their love would never be. It was as simple as that. He was helpless to do anything. Him. Ranma Saotome. One of the greatest martial artists there was, and there was nothing he could do. She had died, leaving them both unfulfilled, and it was his fault. It was all his fault. He had made her miserable with his indecision when he should have made her happy with his love.

He saw how it should have been in his mind's eye. The two of them were together, hand in hand, staring deeply into each other's eyes while words of love were exchanged. He ran his finger tenderly along her jaw, tracing every perfect inch of it as she purred in contentment. He tilted her head upward so he could lower his own lips for a kiss with no resistance or reservations, but one freely given and received. After the kiss went on forever and ended all too soon, they paused, then he looked into that smile he had seen all too rarely. That smile made all of the suffering and sacrifices of his entire life worthwhile, for everything he had done, everything that had happened to him, led up to that one moment, and any difference in his past could have denied him his current joy.

Nothing seemed to matter but that smile. A smile that he could never have fully appreciated until he had accepted his own feelings for her. Feelings so many others, including himself, told him he should not have because they could not be. He had been promised to another, and his feelings had to be for that one. That was what his father, a man whom he loved despite the older one's faults, had said. And no matter how he truly felt, Ranma always seemed to end up doing what his father really desired. It was what his mother wanted, and she was the idol he wished to please. Someone that was worthy of a love and respect that he could give, and receive those same things in return. It was what Akane wanted, and she was deserving of every bit of love he could give. She was deserving of every bit of love she would be given by anyone, but it could not be from him. His true feelings, those that he had subconsciously set aside and tried to ignore for so long, belonged to someone else. Someone that had managed to win his heart long before Akane could. He just didn't realize it until now.

And now it was too late.

What remained, now that he had finally accepted the truth and there was no longer anything he could do about it? Anything? He looked within himself, seeking the answer, and felt an emptiness that was growing by the moment. It was a vacuum, consuming every emotion, every thought, every desire. Only now did he understand what Shampoo had done to him in making him fall in love with her, something so subtle that he had not realized it until she was gone and taken it with her. In some incomprehensible way, she had completed him, made him whole in a manner he still didn't understand. And perhaps the most incredible thing about that was that before he had met her, he had never even realized anything was missing.

Looking within himself, he was made all too aware of that incompleteness now, and there was such pain in that knowledge. What was left now was all that he was before he had met Shampoo, but it was no longer enough. He had been allowed to be happy for the first time in his life, his heart having found its match. Now it felt as though he could never have that missing piece returned. The now jagged edge of his soul was too sharp to be handled, too incomplete to continue, the abyss too deep to be filled. All that was left was a void that was growing wider by the moment and gave no indication of stopping.

He focused on reality and looked at the world around him. It too was the same as before he had met Shampoo, yet it was unquestionably different as well, just like him. The sun still shone, but there was something missing. The light was not as bright as before. The sounds of birds crying out, of thunder in the distance, of the wind blowing through the air did not carry the sharpness they once possessed. He looked down at his hands. They could no longer lash out during a sparring match, hand an object to, or caress the skin of the one they longed for. Things would never feel the same for them. The scent of blood still lingering in his nostrils lacked the bitter scent it once did. It was all so dulled.

It struck him all at once. The world was now an empty place. Everything was still there as it had been before, but it was all different as well. It was devoid of the one thing that directly affected nothing, yet everything had still changed.

Nothing was the same anymore.

Suddenly life didn't seem to matter, even though he had fought for his own tooth and nail on occasions too numerous to mention. No, it was a useless thing without Shampoo. Without the missing piece of his soul, what point was there to it?

Rage far beyond anything that he had ever felt before shot through him, burying the misery. How dare that happen! Was he not THE Ranma Saotome?! When did he back down from anyone or anything no matter the odds?! No, he would not allow it! He would have to simply make everything right again. Yes. That was it. He'd make it all better, and to do that he needed Shampoo.

Cologne looked up from trying to console Akane at a sound just barely heard. It sounded like...sobbing? No, it was laughing. Her ears did not lie but she could scarcely believe That the quiet mirth was coming from Ranma. She could only see his back, but there could be no question the laugh was his. Even as she walked slowly over, she felt a shiver run down her spine and had a horrible feeling the instant she heard that laugh. The promise she had made to Shampoo concerning Ranma might just have become harder to keep.

She stood next to the youth, who was still in the same position she had left him, his face still pointed downward at Shampoo's remains, his face hidden from the elder's sight. "Ranma, it would be best if we left. There's nothing we can do here now. I'll take care of everything later."

The laugh began again, becoming more intense and chilling the blood in her veins. It was almost certain now; that horrible laughter confirmed it, although she still needed to look into his eyes to be absolutely positive.

Ranma stopped laughing and spoke, his face still pointed to Shampoo. "No. There's still something I have to do, and I just figured out how to do it."

Cologne tried employing a soft tone of voice to calm him down, though she had little hope it would work. "Ranma, Shampoo's dead. There's nothing you or anyone can do."

That declaration brought his head whipping about as he stared directly into Cologne's eyes. "I'm Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts!" he said with an intensity that Cologne had never seen before in all of her years. "I can beat anyone! I can beat death! It's easy! You showed me how!"

The look in his eyes, as well as the statement he had just made, confirmed what she had been afraid of. Madness had taken root in his mind, and she was going to have to try everything in her power to snap him out of it before it dug in too deep. "What do you mean 'I showed you how?' I nev..." she trailed off as her insight enabled her to understand what he was driving at. "No, Ranma. It doesn't work that way."

"Then I'll make it work," Ranma answered. "I can do it. It's just a matter of power, and there's so much of it here, all around us." He swept a blood covered hand around in a circle, indicating the air all about them. "The air is thick with chi, more than we can possibly imagine. And I'll use every bit of it to make her better."

Cologne watched on as his body trembled and he began pulling in the chi around him.

"No! Listen to me!" Cologne shouted as the air began to move. "It's not a question of power. Healing can only affect the living! It can do nothing if someone is dead. It's like trying to heal a rock! It won't do any good and you'll kill yourself attempting to do the impossible!"

She placed a hand on his shoulder to try to snap him out of it before he took in too much of the ambient chi and burned himself out to the point of dying. And in his current state of mind it was all too possible he would do exactly that.

The day had been the most exhausting ever for Cologne, both physically and a thousand times worse than anything emotionally. Had she been at even one quarter of her normal power, she would have been fine, but with her guard down and as weary as she was, she had unintentionally left herself vulnerable. The instant her hand made contact with Ranma, he drained a large portion of the chi still left within her. She barely managed to break contact before he took it all.

As she pulled away she tripped over her own feet and fell backwards. She was on her back as she watched ripples begin to form in the air and flow towards Ranma. Weakly, she got to her feet and backed away, keeping a wary eye on Ranma the entire time. The ambient chi in the air began to swirl directly above his head, almost like a whirlpool, as the energy began to filter into him. Greater amounts collected by the second, and Cologne at last understood that he was beyond her ability to save. If she drew close to him he would simply absorb her remaining chi and kill her, if he had not taken too much already. And as weakened as she was there was no chance she could confront him in a battle using chi. Even if she had been at full strength she would have had the fight of her life on her hands from the sheer amount of chi he had absorbed. The amount the boy had taken in was astounding. The only one that had been able to hold that much had been Happosai, and even then he had been in his prime.

She shook free of the momentary memory, realizing she had become transfixed at the sight before her. The blue in the air now had tinges of black as the chi vortex above Ranma tripled in size, an azure glow now surrounding Ranma. There was nothing else to do other than run away or stay and definitely die. Part of her wanted to remain, the part of her mind that guilt had taken over and screamed at her for failing to keep the promise to Shampoo to protect Ranma. But the cold rational piece of her mind insisted Shampoo would not want her great grandmother to die in some futile gesture that was nothing more than suicide.

Cologne turned to head through the passageway that Ranma had come through when a sobbing cut over the loud roar that now surrounded Ranma. Akane was still curled up in a ball, unaware of the world around her. In life the Tendo girl had been Shampoo's rival, but now the Amazon was dead, and Akane had lost in the end anyway. There had been too much death and misery already for one day. Cologne was not about to add to it by leaving Akane to die.

Cologne grabbed the girl by the shoulder. "We must leave now, Akane Tendo!"

With the touch Akane snapped out of stupor. As her attention returned she looked around in an effort to understand what was going on. "What's happening?!" she shouted over the growing clamor.

"Ranma has gone mad in his grief. He seeks to do the impossible and will succeed only in destroying himself and all of those around him, unless we flee immediately!"

Akane stared, horrified at what Cologne had said. She looked towards the bottom of the vortex, where all of the chi was going, and saw Ranma's increasing glow. "NO!" she shouted out. "I won't lose him too!" She started to get up, ignoring the pain of her ankle, but felt an increase of pressure on her shoulder.

"There is nothing you can do!" Cologne warned. "He is beyond anyone's ability to help, and if you get too close he'll suck the life from out of your body!"

"He won't do that to me!" Akane protested.

"Child, in his current state of madness he would do it to his own mother and not even realize it! We leave, now!"

"NOOOO!" Akane howled and prepared to rush over to Ranma. Cologne was wrong. Ranma wouldn't hurt her. He'd never hurt her.

She had barely gotten to her feet when she felt a tap on the back of her neck and the world went dark.

Cologne looked down of the girl before her. Love had blinded Akane to the truth, and it would have been suicide for her to do anything other than leave Mount Phoenix immediately. Now Cologne was going to have to somehow carry Akane down the mountain alone when she was having trouble standing on her own. She was still trying to figure out when an answer appeared an instant later.

One of the winged bird people, a young girl, appeared from the direction of Happosai's body. She was running, most likely too afraid to fly with the air as turbulent as it was thanks to Ranma's ever-increasing vortex. Cologne noted she would have to do. "Come over here, girl!"

The girl froze, uncertain of what to do now that she was confronted with one of the landbound. Her mother had always told her to avoid them, but the diminutive woman had an aura about her that allowed no disregard.

"Now!"

The girl obeyed as Cologne indicated she should help carry Akane into the mountain. It was slow going at first just picking up the girl, and the matriarch wondered if they were going to get away in time, when the obvious occurred to her. It would be difficult for her to do in her weakened state and would probably hurt in the long run but she had no choice. In spite of the tremendous amount of chi that Ranma was manipulating, there was still far more lying about in the air itself. Concentrating, she absorbed some to enhance her strength so that she could carry her burden with the speed necessary for survival. In her weakened state even something as basic as that hurt incredibly, but she absorbed enough to carry Akane easily. With the winged girl's help, the two began a mad rush through the mountain and hopefully to their continued survival.

Ranma felt himself filled to overflowing with chi. Every inch of his skin burned and he felt his insides practically bursting with what Maelstrom had left behind. Still, he took in greater amounts until his concentration started to drift from the euphoric feeling the supersaturation was creating in him. It felt like it was enough for him to begin what had to be done.

"NOW!" he shouted and with all of his heart and soul began trying to do the impossible.

On the bridge of TWPOS, First Mate Yoshi Kawada stared at Mount Phoenix once more now that his headache had at last started to disappear. With his heightened abilities as a Sensitive, he had been able for one instant to sense part of what Continuum really was when it first punched the hole in reality. For one brief instant his mind attempted to grasp the infinite and he nearly lost his sanity by trying to understand something far beyond his abilities to comprehend. Fortunately as he began to sense what the 'eye in the sky' really was he managed to turn away, shutting down everything and only coming away with a headache that would hopefully go away in a couple of days.

Once Frog informed him that Continuum had disappeared, Kawada looked towards Mount Phoenix once more. Even as far away as the ship was he could feel the absence of the huge dragon and Continuum. They were gone. All that was left that was the least bit unusual was the heightened amount of chi along the mountain top and the magical focus above Mount Phoenix itself. It was the latter that had caught the seaman's attention.

"It's starting to move," he told the others next to him, both crew and family members of those that had set off, all still staring at the mountain in the distance.

"What do you mean?" D'Amour asked as he watched the quite visible leftover chi form a huge vortex that seemed to engulf the entire top of the mountain. He could hear the winds howling up there as well despite the distance between the ship and Mount Phoenix.

"Before, the focus was pointed at a spot high above the mountain, right where that huge eye appeared. Now it's inverting and pointing right at the mountain top."

"What do you think that means?" Genma asked.

Kawada shook his head. "I don't know, but there's an awful lot of chi up there, and it's starting to move pretty quickly. If that much power is poured through the focus again, I don't know what'll happen, but I doubt if it'll be any good."

The focus would disappear in the next twelve hours. The magic that fueled it would run out by then and with the magical design gone, it could not even be sustained by another powerful magician. Not that there was anyone left alive that even knew how to make one. The spell was known only by Maelstrom had only shown the Shogun how to make it, and the Shogun told no other. Knowledge that powerful had been hoarded by both.

The focus was simple in that it amplified the ability to direct or absorb any kind of energy, and with that kind of precise control it helped serve to summon Continuum. It was designed to respond to the most powerful mage present, and barring that, the most powerful chi wielder could control it. Since the Shogun fulfilled the former, and Maelstrom was even more powerful than that on both fronts, there had been no risk that control of it could be taken away from either one. Now that both were gone, it would answer to anyone that could control chi, a role Ranma was fulfilling at that moment. It reacted to his desire to pour all of his concentration into one spot: Shampoo. So the focus responded to the wishes of the most powerful will present, and focused the chi Ranma was using, focusing it to an incredible degree as it was used to try to heal the dead warrior.

Slowly, in reaction to the tremendous outpouring of the chi, bones began to knit themselves together and lost fragments grew once more from the remains of the Amazon. Soon her entire skeletal structure was made whole and strong again. The muscles and tendons, which had suffered far more damage, began the slow process of repairing themselves. Flesh grew to cover the destroyed sections and blood was replaced as within minutes Shampoo's body was in the condition it was in before having been crushed by the rock. Even the body's spine was healed and in perfect working order. There was only one thing missing from the earthly vessel.

Life.

Ranma could sense the absence of that spark and increased the volume of chi he was employing. Once more his concentration threatened to waver, but he thought of the lifeless body before him and refocused his mind. Success favored him as he tripled the amount of chi he was pouring into Shampoo's body. His own body reacted to the increased amount of chi he was absorbing. A burning sensation ran all over his skin as it felt like someone had suddenly begun waving lit matches all over every inch of his body. The pain was mirrored from within as he felt agony all the way into his bones. Yet he continued on, using greater amounts of chi to try to bring Shampoo back to life.

Cologne had made it more than halfway through the mountain when she felt as though she were going to collapse as the last of the additional chi she had absorbed was used up in her effort to get Akane to safety. She had a feeling that the mountain itself was no longer safe as she felt a growing rumbling come from above. Dust fell on her as the ceiling of the passageway they were in threatened to give way. She began to consider telling the winged girl to leave when another figure suddenly approached from within the mountain.

"Whaz' going on?" Akiko Yoshida barely managed to get out through the haze her mind was in. It was taking all of her concentration to simply walk along. She had awakened, hidden under some piles of rock with one of the worst headaches in the world to boot. But she was a fighter, and realized her friends might need her. So she picked herself up and made her way into the mountain, trying to find a friend to help or a Devil to hurt. She was still slowly going upward when she ran into Cologne and Akane.

"Carry the girl," Cologne ordered as she released Akane and told the winged youth to stay close to them.

Aki followed the order, shouldering Akane easily even in her weakened state. Aki followed the elder deeper into the mountain.

It wasn't much longer when the party came upon the trio of Perfume, Ukyou, and Ai, who was still motionless and deathly pale, but was no longer currently bleeding. Perfume appeared no better, as though she would collapse at any time. This time when Cologne informed them they had to get out of the mountain Ukyou resisted, afraid that Ai might die if she was moved. In spite of Cologne's continued warnings that things were becoming increasingly dangerous with the vibrations from Ranma's actions shaking the entire mountain, it was only when a piece of the ceiling fell and nearly crushed Ai's skull that Ukyou consented to Ai being moved.

As Ukyou picked up Ai, while Perfume tried to maintain her healing, she caught sight of an unconscious bat lying next to a pile of rubble. Suddenly realizing Ryouga's absence, she instructed the Mount Phoenix girl to carefully pick up the bat and gently carry him along, briefly mentioning the curse so the girl understood what the bat really was. The child obeyed, and the group once more hurried to get out of the mountain.

Ukyou remembered the way she had come in and the band exited the mountain, and at Cologne's behest, got as far away from the mountain as they could. As the group gained some distance from the Mount Phoenix, the elder afforded a glance over her shoulder to witness a truly spectacular, if dangerous, sight. Rolling black clouds had formed over the top of the mountain as blue bolts of chi lashed out, many of them pulverizing large boulders into dust.

Maelstrom may have been powerful enough to control all of the chi at once, but Ranma could only take in a relatively small amount of the total excess chi that remained in the air above Mount Phoenix. The rest of it that he had stirred up but not yet tried to directly contain lashed out in random directions, out of control as he attempted to harness increasing amounts of the chi.

Cologne grimaced at the sight. How Ranma could possibly still be alive while manipulating that much chi was beyond the old woman, yet somehow he was doing it. Still, even he had limits, and would soon expire beneath the onslaught of power. There was no hope for the boy now. All Cologne could do was apologize to the spirit of her great granddaughter and beg for forgiveness in failing so miserably in her promise. She hoped that somehow saving the lives of several of Shampoo's friends helped somewhat.

Had Cologne been on the top of the mountain she could have witnessed firsthand how accurate her guess was. Ranma continued using the awesome energies he had absorbed to heal Shampoo's body. Now it was in perfect condition; even the scars she had received at Perfume and Mint's hands were gone. Every part of her body was at its highest potential, yet it still was not alive. Still it remained a useless empty vessel. Ranma's frustration increased as he continued to pour a seemingly unlimited amount of chi into her body, all the while his own began to feel the effects of his overwhelming absorption. Blue chi began to pour from out of his eyes and mouth as he tried channeling a river of power through him. Skin began to burn off as the fires within him began to rage beyond his control. Yet he forced himself through the pain to use more as he tried doing the impossible.

"GIVE HER BACK!" he screamed as more blue fire poured out of him, shattering increasing amounts of the mountain and the storm above doubled in size again. Still, there was not the slightest hint of change. And still he continued onward. Time lost all meaning as he adjusted to the new level of pain he was experiencing. But physical pain could be dealt with; the damage to his soul could not.

And then, at long last, he felt the excess chi in the air start to run low. The storm he had caused began to shrink and the random bolts of power became fewer as less chi became available for Ranma to use. And still he was no closer to his goal. That could not be. It would not be.

"GIVE ME MORE!" he shouted as he wished with all of his soul for more chi energy to heal his beloved. He needed her back, and he would do anything to regain her.

Anything.

"The focus is shifting again," Kawada warned everyone.

"Where to?" D'Amour asked.

"It seems to be pointing downward," Kawada said, and felt his dread double.

Once again the focus obeyed the desires of its wielder and sought out a way to gain much more chi. Already the wielder had tapped into a source, it just wanted it at a greater rate. So the focus shifted to obey and sought out the center of the said source, where the energy was at its strongest.

Kasumi sensed it first, although she knew not how. Kawada was the second, with his abilities as a sensitive warning him of it too. Aki was next, although she had no idea of why something seemed to shift within her. Over twenty miles away, Herb too felt the change and wondered exactly what was going on. No one had said anything about mile long dragons and huge eyes in the skies. And now something else was happening.

Cologne was so depleted from her ordeal that she sensed the shift in everything, and the whine that accompanied it, last. But when she did, she looked on at the mountain with greater terror than ever.

"EVERYBODY DOWN!"

The rest of the group was at the bottom of a hill, and Cologne prayed it would be enough to shield them.

The focus located the greatest source of chi it could find and focused that power for its wielder, allowing him access to its energies.

The whine hit its highest pitch as a huge light, over fifty feet in radius, was the first thing everyone saw. It was so bright that all but Kasumi hid their eyes from the glow. Automatically she adjusted her vision, using her chi, to see what was happening. The beam of light seemed to suddenly shoot up through the center of Mount Phoenix, rising over three miles in the sky like a kind of giant spotlight.

Then the mountain blew up.

Not part of it.

Not half of it.

All of it.

Kasumi uttered one word as she looked on at the scene before her.

"Doom."

The shockwave rode over Cologne's group which was crouched at the bottom of the hill. As the roar of the explosion and the accompanying winds buffeted the band, Ukyou threw herself over Ai, praying somehow they all would make it.

"WOW!" D'Amour commented as the ship finally began to right itself. "It looks like the whole mountain was disintegrated!"

"Umm...Sir," Frog began. "It wasn't disintegrated." He pointed up to the sky and hurried into the interior of the ship.

D'Amour looked up to see a twenty ton boulder fall from the sky and head directly towards his ship from directly above. Calmly the man smirked and drew his sword. Even as everyone else began to panic, D'Amour remained where he was and threw the sword directly at the rock. Almost as though it were a missile, the sword flew through the air and somehow sliced the boulder completely in half as though it were cutting through paper. The two ten ton halves of the rock cleared the sides of the ship by barely more than a foot, splashing into the lake and creating gigantic waves that nearly capsized the ship. Standing confidently on the heaving deck, D'Amour simply held out his hand expectantly. In moments his sword unerringly dropped almost next to him, the captain snatching it by the hilt out of mid-air.

"Damn, I'm good!" he declared, his teeth gleaming as the ship continued to rock violently to and fro from the near miss.

All around the land, pieces of what was once Mount Phoenix fell from the sky destroying trees, animals, and buildings with equal fervor. The farthest piece landed almost three hundred miles away in the middle of a field to the east, leaving people to wonder just what had happened.

The focus had achieved the goal of its wielder. Ranma Saotome had access to the power of the Earth itself by tapping into its own chi field.

At the center of the light, Ranma remained where he was, Shampoo's body still unharmed as she lay at his feet, his hands still upon her. He was standing within a beam of pure chi somehow, but that did not matter to him. Wielding the power no longer hurt. He was beyond pain now. Beyond pleasure. Beyond anything he could possibly think of or feel. He was one with the chi, bonding with the power of the Earth itself. He was no longer the thing he was before making contact with the ultimate power. He was a god, and he could do anything he wanted. And because he was a god, there was nothing he wanted. He was beyond wants and desires. He simply was.

He discovered his unexpected 'godhood' changing him in many ways. He was Ranma Saotome, but what need had a god for names? It was an unnecessary thing that was not associated with what he had become. The body was a useless shell, as were the thoughts and memories that were of Ranma Saotome. Obsolete things that would serve only to hamper what he was now. It was best if they were just disposed of and ceased to exist.

Just as his consciousness began to expand, threatening to lose everything that was Ranma Saotome, one thought cut through everything.

Shampoo.

That word kept ringing through his head, repeating itself over and over. Certain memories refused to leave as he maintained his contact with the chi. Slowly his consciousness stopped expanding as his identity's ego border began to reform. He was Ranma Saotome, not a god, no matter how much power he had. Everything, his body, his memories, his name, was important. He was mortal, and needed all of that to help make him what he was. And there was still something he needed to do.

He collected every thought that had started to drift away and began to use the power again. What he had controlled earlier was a mere drop in the ocean. What he had at his hands now was the ocean itself, and he was going to use it.

He let loose the power, once again using it to heal the body before him. It had to work. It was ultimate power, the power of the world itself. All he had to do was heal her the rest of the way. Power enough to level a range of mountains flooded into Shampoo all at once, trying to reawaken her.

And still nothing happened.

"NO!" he bellowed in a rage heightened by his new link with the Earth. "I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS! GIVE... HER... BACK!"

Once again he drew more power and allowed it to flood Shampoo's form.

The weather patterns, affected by the Shogun's spell, became influenced once more in an even greater scale by the chi energy Ranma was employing. The weather everywhere went wild as widespread changes began happening all over the world. Arctic winds began blowing in the Sahara as snow began to fall. Waterspouts formed in the Caribbean and drove all ships to seek safe harbors. A sudden heat wave came over large portions of the Antarctic and began melting snow that was hundreds of year old. Tornadoes formed in the Yucatan Peninsula and began ravaging the land before it. And those were just a handful of the changes. It was the same everywhere. All of the weather became chaotic, all in thanks to Ranma.

As he called forth more power, the leftover magic from the creation of the focus, the magic which had changed the land in a twenty mile radius around what was once Mount Phoenix, was reignited as things began to change once more. Everything to the south of the point Ranma was at began growing at a phenomenal rate. Huge trees that had never existed before sprung forth from the earth, becoming hundred foot giants in little more than the blink of an eye. Fields grew to four times their current height and all plant life went out of control in an ever growing area to the south.

To the north of Ranma's location, beyond the twenty mile range of already changed terrain, the life began to drain out of everything connected to the earth. All the plants and creatures in and under the earth began to wither and die before people's eyes. Within moments there was nothing green left behind in an ever increasing area as the changes continued all around, even the soil turned black. First it was ten miles. Then twenty. Thirty. Fifty. A hundred. And it kept expanding, encompassing greater portions of the land.

Kasumi calmly watched on, understanding what Ranma was doing as he began draining the power of the Earth itself. If he continued it...

"Do what you must, Ranma," she silently whispered. "Do what you must."

Ranma's anger grew as there was still no change in the figure before him. Why was he being denied this one thing? It was all he wanted with everything he had, yet no matter what he did, still nothing happened. It was not fair. He would bring her back. He would defeat death. He would not be denied that one thing. He would take all that he needed to bring her back. He gathered all of his concentration as he prepared to seize the greatest amount of chi he possibly could. He'd take all of it if he had to. He was going to succeed no matter the cost.

It hit him all at once, flooding him like it had once before. He became one with IT, the Heart of the Earth itself. He controlled the Heart, not the other way around as had almost happened before. It was now his to do with as he pleased. All that was left in his mind was saving Shampoo.

The earth shook in answer to his summoning, and he let the power build to a crescendo once more, intent on using everything if he had to.

Cologne felt the pain within her, which had been plaguing her since they had exited the mountain, temporarily subside as she believed she sensed exactly what Ranma had done.

"What's going on?" Perfume asked, scared for the first time in years.

Cologne just gave her a sad look, then turned towards where the mountain had been. Still the pillar of chi stood, burning bright blue and high in the sky. "Pain on a level that even I cannot begin to imagine, child." She wondered how anything could drive one so. What Ranma had done should not have been possible, yet he had managed to do it anyway. She looked to see if Perfume understood the cryptic remark, then realized she would have to clarify it for her in the simplest terms.

"I think it's quite possibly the end of everything. How bitterly ironic it would be that we should save the world only to have one of our own end it instead."

The Realm of Death:

As Shampoo took a step towards that enticing light she felt a wave of pure joy wash over her. It was so peaceful. Serene. Tranquil. It felt like perfection. It was the answer to everything she ever wanted

Almost.

There was the unmistakable sense of something missing. Even looking into that seductive light, she saw that it was not quite...perfect.

"Why do you hesitate?" Death asked from behind Shampoo.

"I...I don't know."

"Then go forward," Death insisted.

Shampoo felt part of her wanting to go forward, to know that peace, but something was not quite right. "No," she answered.

"Why?" Death asked.

The Amazon tried to find the words that would describe how she felt, but it was so difficult. What was it that was missing? It was so hard to concentrate with that presence of the light, of the serenity it made her feel.

"I..."

"Yes," Death asked curiously.

"I want..."

Death remained silent as she continued struggling with the words.

"I want..." She was still confused. Nothing seemed to cut through the giddiness that the light had produced, but still she resisted the lure.

To her perception, Death seemed to shake his head in disbelief and began talking to himself. "Incredible. Few can resist the lure of eternal joy, yet here I am with one such soul." He began paying attention to her once again. "You cannot go back. You are dead. Just accept that, otherwise you're simply going to deny yourself the happiness you have achieved. It's your right. Take it."

"NO!" Shampoo shouted. "That place means nothing to me if I can't have what's missing!" And that statement was becoming more true for her by the second. As time passed she became more convinced that what was awaiting her in that light would not satisfy the sensation of emptiness she now felt, an emptiness that was becoming larger and larger by the moment. And she thought she knew what it was. There was some intrinsic part of her that was missing. Something had somehow crept in and consumed her so effectively that even she had not realized how deep it was until now. It was so great that, as impossible as it seemed, it could make even Heaven itself fall short in her eyes. And now she knew what it was that was missing.

Ranma.

"I want Ranma." Yes, that was it. She was still missing Ranma. She needed him more than anything else. More than everything else. She needed just him.

"He will most likely join you soon enough," Death assured her. "Just go forward and wait."

Shampoo shook her head. "I don't want to wait. I want...no, need Ranma! You don't understand! I don't care about that place! I just want him!" She felt like crying. Couldn't Death understand? There was nothing without that missing piece of her soul.

"Yes, even I can feel your longing," Death affirmed. "But it will do you no good here. You cannot go back. It doesn't..."

Shampoo watched as Death seemed to look away for a second, staring off into the void.

"How odd," he said as he sensed the hole to his realm that had just occurred. Still, that alone meant nothing. And he felt that soon the force behind the hole was going to die off, and perhaps he would be relatively busy with what effect that might have.

"I feel something pulling at me."

Death turned around slowly at Shampoo's statement. She could not mistake the look of intensity within that stare. Suddenly she felt concerned at her fate now that she was before one of the primary forces of the universe.

Death concentrated on the soul before him. There was a link there, one of magic, that he had not seen. Of course he hadn't bothered to look, for there had been no warning of such a person arriving in the Realm of Death. But now that he concentrated, he saw that there was truly a connection between Shampoo and something else. A thing not dead.

Something was going to have to happen.

Death turned towards Shampoo. "Listen to me and listen to me closely. You are being given the opportunity all things wait for, that all of your kind truly want. You are being a offered a chance at Heaven itself. No tricks. No doubts. No catches. This is what it's all about. Why turn away at the moment of your greatest triumph? What can you hope to achieve beyond this? Step forward."

"No," Shampoo said.

Death seemed stunned by the answer. "You arrogant little creature! Do you truly believe you can achieve something on your own that can exceed Heaven? What conceit! How can you hope to surpass what God himself created? Do not be foolish and reject everything for nothing! What else is there that can take the place of Heaven? How can you refuse it?"

"No," Shampoo said slowly. "I reject Heaven for love."

Within the light, Ranma sensed the arrival of something near him. He focused his eyes, which had seen nothing since he was enveloped in the light of pure chi, on a dark figure before him. It appeared to be a woman, but no ordinary one. It was a humanoid feline, like one he had glimpsed on an old horror film before he had turned it off. She walked like a human, but her body was totally covered in fur and her face was like that of a cat, right down to whiskers sticking out. There was a time when he considered such a creature, so reminiscent of a cat yet undeniably human, the most terrifying thing he could imagine. Now, in his current state of mind, there was no fear. Not because he could destroy the thing before him, but because it held no terror for him at all.

As the creature approached, Ranma began to get a sense that it was not a real thing, but rather something that was in his mind. It existed, but not in the physical realm, for with his chi link, he could sense the creature was far more than she appeared. It was far more than even Ranma could comprehend, yet he still felt no terror.

The creature looked him over once, then began speaking.

"Why do you do this thing? Why do you attempt something that is impossible? Why do you risk all for a goal you cannot hope to achieve?"

There was no hesitation in his voice as he spoke to the strange creature, as though answering it was the most normal thing in the world. "I need Shampoo! There's nothing without her!"

A faint trace of sneering was in the felinoid's voice. "You wish to bring back that which is dead because of desire? You want to casually discard your life for something that you will surely fail at? You want to deny the way of things because of your singular wants?"

"Yes," Ranma said softly. "I do it for love."

The look Death gave Shampoo was far from friendly as he approached her and moved behind her. She did not turn around as she felt him move closer to her ear.

"Answer me truthfully, for no other answer will suffice. Answer me with your heart, for what your mind says does not matter now. Answer me."

The felinoid watched him carefully, then stalked around him. Ranma did not turn around as he felt the felinoid moved closer to his ear.

"Answer me truthfully, for no other answer will suffice. Answer me with your heart, for what your mind says does not matter now. Answer me."

She said to Ranma: He said to Shampoo:

"What would you give xxxxxxxxxx "What would you give  
for your love? xxxxxxxx for your love?

Would you know xxxxxx Would you know  
pain? xxxxxx pain?

Would you bring xxxxxx Would you give up  
misery and suffering xxxxxx Salvation for  
to others untold? xxxxxxx Damnation?

Would you forsake xxxxxxxx Would you forsake  
the others that care xxxxxxxx the others that care  
for you? xxxxxxx for you?

Would you give xxxxxxx Would you risk  
up your life? xxxxxxx destroying your soul?

Would you inflict xxxxxxx Would you inflict  
pain on those you xxxxxxx pain on those you  
care for? xxxxxx care for?

Would you bring pain xxxxxxx Would you bring pain  
to your beloved? xxxxxxx to your beloved?

Would you risk your xxxxxxxx Would you risk your  
beloved's soul? xxxxxxxx beloved's life?

Would you dare to xxxxxxxx Would you dare to  
challenge the gods xxxxxxx destroy the Natural  
with naught but xxxxxxx Order?"  
your flesh?"

And Ranma answered xxxxx And Shampoo answered:  
softly: xxxxxxxx softly:

"Yes."xxxxxxxxxxx "Yes."

And Death asked: xxxxxxxxxxx And Death asked:  
"What was that?" xxxxxxxxxxxx "What was that?"

More loudly, Ranma xxxxxxxxxx More loudly, Shampoo  
answered: xxxxxxxxxxx answered:

"Yes! I would know xxxxxxx "Yes! I would know  
pain, xxxxxxx pain,  
forsake  
forsake the others xxxxx the others I care  
I care for,give up xxx for, risk destroying  
my life, inflict pain xxxxx my soul, inflict pain  
on those I care for, xxxxx on those I care for,  
bring pain to my xxxxxxxx bring pain to my  
beloved, risk my beloved,xxxxxxxxx risk my  
beloved's soul, xxxxx break beloved's life,,  
challenge the gods with naught xxxxx and dare to destroy the  
but my flesh!" xxxxxxxx Natural Order!"

And Death asked: xxxxxx And Death asked:  
"Why?" xxxxxxxxxxx "Why?"

And Ranma smiled xxxxxxx And Shampoo smiled  
then, knowing the xxxxxxxxxx then, knowing the  
words to be xxxxxxxwords to be  
unquestionably true: xxxxxxxxxx unquestionably true:

"Because I love xxxxxx"Because I love  
her more thanxxxxxxx him more than  
anything. I lovexxxxxxxxx anything. I love  
her more than xxxxxxx him more than  
everything." xxxxxxxxxx everything."

Shampoo felt herself pulled for one brief moment, then found herself touching something extraordinary. She was whole, truly feeling for the first time that thing which filled in the missing edges of her soul. For one brief moment, she touched the pure essence of the one that she needed more than anything in all of Heaven, and for one brief instant, combined with it, swimming in the purity of its glory and grandeur. She was complete once more, despite losing the ethereal contact a moment later as her soul was beckoned to a familiar vessel. And she knew that even Heaven paled in comparison to what she had with the one she loved.

Ranma felt what he needed touch the missing part of his soul. It filled that hole which had threatened to consume all that he was. It was rapture, and he knew that all he had risked, even the fate of the world, had been worth it to touch that missing part of him once more. He was complete, and despite losing that ethereal contact a moment later, he knew he had somehow done what others claimed was impossible and succeeded at last. He released his hold on the Heart of the World, his body healed perfectly from the merging with the chi he had undergone.

He could do nothing more than to look down expectantly at the girl that was now in his arms. A second after he lost direct contact with that pure soul that had touched his, breath returned to her lungs. She gave a loud gasp and he saw the most wondrous thing ever in his life.

The eyes of his love were opened once more.

The purple-haired Amazon met his eyes, and spoke the first thing that came to mind.

"I can't believe I had to die to hear you say you love me."

Ranma did nothing for a few moments, then felt the tears run down his face as he burst out crying. He bent low, savoring the flesh on flesh contact of his face on hers. Her flesh was warm, not the cold unliving thing it was before. It was real. It was all real.

It was almost five minutes later when he at last detached himself from her, though he still kept her in his arms. "How did you know I said that? You weren't alive then."

She smiled at him, and he felt his heart skip a beat as he got to see that radiant thing that he feared he would never lay eyes upon again.

"Your words still linger in the air," she said and gently caressed his face, savoring the contact of his flesh as well. It was a few moments later that exhaustion overwhelmed her and knew she only had a few seconds of consciousness left.

"I need to rest Ranma. But I promise I'll wake up for you."

Ranma gave a smile himself, one free of any concerns. "I promise I'll be the first thing you see."

"That's ni..ce," she barely got out as she fell asleep in his arms.

Ranma felt a wave of exhaustion pass over him as well. Maybe she had a pretty good idea. He decided to rearrange their positions as he laid down next to her and fell asleep with her in his arms.

Epilogue

There is a giant one hundred foot wide, perfect circle of a crystal-like substance that sits nearly a mile high where the center of Mount Phoenix used to be. Others have given it the name 'The Tear of the Dragon', which is as good as any other name. It is unlike any other substance in the world. It cannot be pierced. It cannot be probed. It cannot be scratched by any force known to man. No one knows exactly how far down it goes, but digging revealed it to be down more than five hundred feet deep before the drillers gave up.

It is unlike anything in the world, for somehow, Ranma Saotome created it from the Heart of World itself. It is a structure of pure chi, and unbreakable for all intents and purposes. No one knows exactly how it was created, including Ranma himself, but it remains there all the same. No one has been able to come close to replicating it, but then, no one has been able to find the Heart of the World since then either. And even if they did, it's not likely they would be as motivated as the last one who held it was.

There is one thing that all of those handful that know the whole details concerning the truth of its creation agree upon. It is, above all other things, a testament of love and impossible dreams.

When someone said those words to Shampoo the following day, she just smiled happily in response and didn't say a word.

Ranma's response was, "Yeah, whatever. It's not like I really care. I ain't into that romance stuff anyway."

Shampoo swatted him in the back of the head at that point. He shouted about what that was for. She complained about how he could at least have tried to have one romantic thought in his entire body. And then they quarreled with one another.

But the two made up afterward.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I HAVE A PLEA FOR ALL READERS AT THIS POINT. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY AM BEGGING FOR COMMENTS ON THIS PARTICULAR CHAPTER. WHY IS THAT? BECAUSE THIS IS ESSENTIALLY THE CLIMAX OF THE SERIES. NO, THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER, THERE ARE STILL MANY LOOSE THREADS TO TIE UP, BUT THIS IS BASICALLY THE POINT I WANTED TO GET TO IN THE SERIES. YOU'VE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO READ 38 CHAPTERS OF THIS (take a deep bow as I applaud you. ^_^), TAKING UP HOURS UPON HOURS OF YOUR TIME (and don't ask how many it took to write it). NOW I DO BEG FOR A FEW MORE MOMENTS OF YOUR TIME TO MAKE A COMMENT OR TWO ON HOW THE WHOLE THING HAS BEEN (UP TO THIS POINT ANYWAY) AND YOUR REACTIONS TO IT. DON'T FEEL IT HAS TO BE A LOT, ONE SENTENCE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH, BUT I ALWAYS ENJOY KNOWING THERE ARE PEOPLE READING THIS AND HOPE THEY ARE ENJOYING/ HAVE ENJOYED THIS THING. HEH, IT'S BEEN FUN WRITING IT. (sometimes it was a bit hard, but the satisfaction of getting this far has been worth it)

Special thanks once more to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Gary Kleppe  
Lord Talon  
Jason Liao  
Miashara  
Wade Tritschler


	39. Aftermath

Prologue

The entire Hunt Pack, as well as its group of prisoners, spoke in rapid tones of the events that had just happened. The mountain had simply exploded, replaced by an intense beam of blue-white light. Fortunately, the only piece of rock that came close to the group was a fist-sized chunk that bounced harmlessly off of Lime's skull. Not that Cabinet didn't fret over her husband, much to Lime's delight. He even went so far as to consider bludgeoning himself some more if he could gain that kind of attention from his new wife.

Julep stood off to the side, carefully thinking things through. Judging by the way the soldiers had reacted, none of them had expected the explosion to occur. And then there had been the overwhelming changes that had just occurred to the land surrounding the group. Even as events unfolded, and that bright beam of light shot up into the sky, Julep's animal instincts allowed her to feel the transformation in everything around her. For a brief moment she had thought she was going mad, but she quickly regained her composure. She was not an animal; she was an Amazon pathfinder. She would control herself and get to the bottom of this mystery somehow.

She was about to set off in the direction of where the mountain had just been when a girl stumbled into view. The brown-haired teenager's outfit was ripped badly in a number of places, her legs were covered in blood, and she had an unconscious man draped over her back. Her eyes had a distant quality to them as she tried to focus on the group before her.

"Did I miss anything?"

Kyoko Onamuri then collapsed to the ground.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 39

Aftermath

All C+C is desired. You can contact me at:  
sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters or any from other series mentioned in this story.

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also put it on his webpage at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Slashley also has it at:

Last Chapter:

Ranma brought Shampoo back from the dead. That about sums it up. Now it's time to deal with the aftermath of the recent events...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All of the members of the Tendo and Saotome families continued to scan the shoreline for any sign of their missing family members. The mountain had exploded some time ago and the light that had radiated up to the heavens had disappeared without a hint of returning. Twice Genma had to restrain his wife from leaving, while Soun ran back and forth, crying out about how his daughter must have been in great danger. Only Kasumi maintained her composure, staring off at where the column of light had been, and smiled. She wanted to reassure the others that Akane and the others were all right, but couldn't explain how she knew it. Rather than give some vague explanation that might raise more questions, she opted to remain silent.

"Someone comes," First Mate Kawada said as he pointed to the tree line of the starboard bow. He and many of the other members of the crew looked onward, either to see what spectacular fireworks to expect next, or in the case of Aki's personal 'Idiot Trio', waiting to see in what shape she would return. Even D'Amour, who had at last stopped bragging about how great he was in saving the ship, spared a glance in the direction. After all, a lot of beautiful women were due back at the ship any time now. He could then brag to them of his heroics, confident he could bed at least one of them.

A blue and black garbed figure came at a hurried pace from out of the tree line, dragging behind it a huge makeshift travois with a large number of people on it. Aki made a straight line for the extended gangplank that led to her ship.

"Since when did I become a beast of burden?!" Aki shouted back to the others on the travois.

"You are the only one that could possibly get all of us here in time to help the injured," Cologne answered in a tired voice.

Aki was about to complain again when a ribbon cracked itself like a whip right next to her face.

"Faster, harridan!" Kodachi shouted out, almost in tears. "We must get assistance for my beloved Mousse-sama." It was luck that the group stumbled across Kodachi and Mousse, who was in human form now and still unconscious since his electrocution. There was a black ring of burned flesh from where the wire had been looped around his neck, and already it had begun to blister. Kodachi was at a loss of what to do. The only thing that even came close to calming her was that his breathing was regular.

"Use that ribbon on me again and I'll wrap you up in it and give you to the captain!" Aki warned. The only thing that kept her from making good on her threat was that she could empathize with Kodachi's worry over her lover, but empathy only went so far.

The crew helped the injured people onto the ship: The still comatose Ai, who Ukyou would not let go of while Perfume tried to keep her alive, the aforementioned Mousse, and finally Ryouga with his broken wrist and arm with compound fractures from where the wall had collapsed on the delicate bat wing. None of the others looked very well either, in varying degrees of exhaustion or shock, or in Akane's case, unconsciousness.

Nodoka panicked when she saw that Ranma was not present. "Where's my son?!" she screamed out.

"He should be at the top of the crystal shard that now stands where Mount Phoenix once did," Cologne informed her in a tired voice. The diminutive Amazon felt as though she was going to fall over at any minute. "I believe he's all right."

"What makes you so sure?!" Nodoka asked, still afraid.

"We are all still here," was all the explanation Cologne offered as she went towards her quarters to rest. She needed just a few hours and then she would be fine.

Genma was watching Soun cry out in joy that his daughter was okay, when Nodoka grabbed him by the collar of his gi.

"We have to make sure my son is all right!"

Genma tried relaxing her. "If the old troll says Ranma's fine, he's fine. The boy can take care of himself."

"How can you be so-" The rest of her statement was cut off as she found her hand suddenly in the grasp of D'Amour.

"There's no need to fear, mon cherie," the captain said smoothly. "I would consider it the greatest of honors to allay your worries by retrieving Panma."

"That's Ranma."

"Whatever," D'Amour said dismissively, then launched back into his exposition. "A beauty such as yours should never be marred by concern. To allow such a thing to occur is a crime against nature itself."

Nodoka felt herself blushing at the compliment. No one ever said things like that to her, not since she had been a young woman.

D'Amour smelled blood and continued. "Yes. The nobility in your visage simply augments your beauty to a point that brings a tear to my eye."

Nodoka saw that indeed a single tear was in his right eye. Slowly it traveled down his cheek, leaving Nodoka breathless. "Oh...my," was all she could get out.

"After I have retrieved your son, and made certain he is in perfect health, please come down to my cabin. I am something of an artist, and I wish to attempt to capture your beauty on canvas."

"With what? Crayola crayons? Those are the only art supplies you got in your cabin," Second Helmsman Shelby said as he suddenly appeared next to the captain. "And you don't have any canvas either, unless you're talking about your canvas sheets. And..."

"Excuse me for one moment," D'Amour said as he gave Nodoka a roguish smile. He then turned to Shelby, unleashing a smile that was far from anything that could be described as roguish. The captain grabbed the still rambling second helmsman by the collar, ran him over to the railing, then hurled him overboard.

In a flash he was next to Nodoka once more, bent on one knee and holding her hand. "Forgive me, sweet lady. That man was quite deranged and had no idea of what he was talking about."

"I see," Nodoka said as she tittered at the young man paying her so many compliments. She even began to blush demurely.

Genma saw the effect the captain was having on his spouse. The only reason he had let it go on for so long was that he had been certain Nodoka would dismiss the man. How wrong he had been. "Unhand my wife, you pompous ass!"

D'Amour appeared genuinely disgusted at the revelation. "Is this man truly your husband?" he asked Nodoka.

She gave a small, almost shameful, nod in response.

"How disappointed you must be. It is wrong to have such a lovely young creature as yourself chained in the bonds of unholy slavery to this abomination. Surely you find yourself miserable over such a terrible fate?"

"Sometimes," she sighed.

"No-chan!" Genma shouted out, betrayed.

"Then please say yes, sweet lady," the captain said. "Come to my cabin this evening, else I should throw myself overboard."

"Why I do believe that girl over there is topless. And what large breasts she has," Genma said as he pointed behind D'Amour.

"Where?! Where?!" the blond man shouted wildly as he spun around trying to spot the girl.

*WHAM*

Genma's kick sent D'Amour overboard, his body just clearing the railing.

"I always told the boy that move's a good tactic," Genma mumbled to himself.

D'Amour found himself floating next to the ship while the crew remained where they were, watching him. It was a good thing he was only in an inland lake with no connection to the ocean. If that had happened...

"Someone throw me a flotation device!" D'Amour shouted.

"I'll get one!" Aki shouted back and disappeared from the captain's view.

"Good girl, Aki!" D'Amour shouted back. "I knew I could count on y-"

*WHAM*

The crew cheered as the lead-filled safe Aki had thrown over the side hit D'Amour squarely on the head, sending him to the bottom of the lake.

"That's funny. The 'floatation device' doesn't seem to be working right," Aki said wryly as she went to see how Ryouga was faring.

"Why did you do that?" Nodoka asked Genma as she watched the crew grab a bunch of harpoons, all looking over the railing to make sure the captain would be greeted warmly, if by some miracle he got out from under the safe and made it to the surface of the lake.

"I just wanted to give him a helping hand," Genma said innocently. "He did say he would throw himself overboard if you refused him."

"But I hadn't said no yet."

"You would have," Genma said confidently. "I shall paint you tonight."

"You don't know how to paint," Nodoka pointed out.

"I meant finger painting."

"Finger pain...?" Her face turned a cherry red as she understood what he meant. "We haven't done that since we were newlyweds."

"Then we better make up for lost time."

"Once we know Ranma is all right," Nodoka said as she remembered her original concerns. Somehow, she felt in her heart that what Cologne had said earlier was true and that Ranma was okay, although she did not know why that was.

"We need to go faster!" Ukyou practically screamed in panic as she pushed Ai's pale form down one of the ship's corridors and headed to the ship's sick bay. Perfume was running alongside the gurney, barely keeping pace. Once Ai was placed upon the gurney, Perfume released her hold. There was nothing left in her to help Ai any longer. She herself was going to need a long rest to recover her own body's chi levels and overcome the exhaustion that had crept in from the constant fighting and healing. Still, she had seen enough to guess how Ai would do. It was now a matter of pride that the cheerleader stay alive. Perfume had given her all, and it would have been a savage disappointment to have the blonde die after so much had been done to keep her alive.

She looked back to see that Kodachi was still fretting over Mousse, who was also being wheeled along the hall. Ryouga had disappeared though, no doubt going left when he should have gone right. At least all he had was a broken limb, nothing like what Ai was suffering from.

The other two crewmen, that were on each side of Ai's gurney, led the way to the sick bay, hurrying along as quickly as they could. At last they arrived at the door and barged through.

"Hey, Doc Sangre!" one of them shouted as they entered the room.

A young man with a brown mustache looked to the gurneys being wheeled into the room. He headed immediately to the first patient: Ai.

"Don't do that, Doc!" one of the crewmen warned. "Look at the other one."

"I'm a doctor, damn it!" he exclaimed as he bent down to examine Ai. "Let me see...blood." And with that his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he slumped to the floor.

"I told him so," the crewmen chastised out loud.

"What happened?! Why is he on the floor?!" Ukyou's panic doubled.

The two crewmen looked at one another, then nodded their heads. The one that had remained silent up until then spoke up. "Well, you see. Doc Sangre's a pretty good doctor, except for one slight problem."

The man turned to his companion, and both spoke up. "Blood," they said together.

The second one picked up the explanation. "You see, any time the doc sees blood he passes out. Every time."

"What good is he then?" Ukyou said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, as long as there isn't any blood he's great. Sprain, strains, headaches, colds, venereal diseases. You name it he can cure it, as long as there isn't any blood involved."

Ukyou grabbed one of the men and began to shake him like a rag doll. "IF HE'S UNCONSCIOUS WHO'S GOING TO SAVE AI!"

"B...B...B...Bubbles," the man barely managed to get out.

"Who's Bubbles?" Ukyou said as she stopped shaking the man.

'Bubbles' appeared about a minute after one of the men reached her on the onboard phone. As the door opened, Ukyou saw an incredibly attractive blonde woman, somewhere in her early twenties, wearing a top about the size of a bra and a tight leather skirt with matching knee high boots. She was in great physical shape and bore a rather large bust size, augmented all the more by the top that was about two sizes too tight for her breasts. Somewhere in the back of her mind Ukyou wondered if Ai would look like that when she got older.

"Who are you?" Ukyou asked.

"I'm Bubbles," the girl said in a high pitched voice, as though that was all the explanation that was needed. Looking into her eyes, Ukyou wondered if there was any activity at all in the woman's head. She sounded and looked like she was an even bigger airhead than Kyoko.

"I meant, why did they call you?" asked Ukyou, strongly emphasizing the last word. "Are you a nurse?"

"No," the girl said as she made her way to where Ai lay and started to examine her. "I'm the ship's exotic dancer."

Ukyou nearly fell over in shock. "Why the hell are you looking over Ai then?! Get away from her!"

Bubbles gave Ukyou a flat stare. "I also have MDs and PHDs in medicine, bio-chemistry, genetics, forensics, and have a license to practice medicine in over seven different countries. The only man I have ever met whose medical skills surpass mine is the infamous Dr. Blackjack. I know what I'm doing."

Ukyou was astounded. "But you-"

"Sound like an airhead?" Bubbles finished for her as the blond put on a surgical gown and examined her instruments. "I have an eidetic memory and an IQ that measures off the charts. Don't fall for stereotypes. I just naturally have a high voice and I take care of my appearance."

"Why are you an exotic dancer if you're so smart?" Ukyou asked, as Bubbles used a scalpel to cut away Ai's remaining clothing, while at the same time ordering the others to get Dr. Sangre out of sight of the blood so he could be revived and help Mousse.

"No one wants to hire someone who's smarter and more attractive than they are. Women see me as a threat, and men want to seduce me. When the guys learn that I don't fool around with just anyone, and that I'm ten times smarter than they are, they usually get intimidated and want nothing to do with me. I ended up short of cash and accepted a job here."

"Why were you hired as an exotic dancer instead of a doctor?" Ukyou asked.

Bubbles paused for a moment to look Ukyou in the eye. "Have you met the captain yet? The only way that stinking pervert would hire me was as an exotic dancer. I needed the money, so I accepted. Once I was here, I let the rest of the crew know what my real fields of expertise are, not that I'm not an accomplished dancer as well. I've made men pass out in their seats with some of my moves." She turned back to Ai. "Now I have to get back to work. Your friend's going to need a hell of a lot of help, and her chances aren't good anyway. It's going to take everything I have to even give her a chance to make it through. I can see she has spinal damage and she's lost a lot of blood. That's just going to make the work harder. So if you would step aside, I can begin."

"Please save her," Ukyou said quietly, now believing every word Bubbles had said, no matter how unlikely it seemed.

"No guarantees, but I promise to do my best. I don't think you're going to want to watch this."

Ukyou backed up, and when she saw Bubbles begin the operation, she hid out in the hall. Seeing Ai like that...no. It was too much for Ukyou. She just laid her head against the hallway wall, and sobbed, unable to do anything for the girl she loved.

"So how do we get up there?" Brunt asked as he looked to Aki, Frog, Luthorinski, and the handful of others that had volunteered to retrieve Ranma and Shampoo. It turned out that Cologne had been correct about the two of them still being close to the pillar of crystalline-like substance. They were on top of it, in fact.

"Got me," Frog said. He had tried using climbing gear to get to the top, but it had proved impossible to scale. The surface of the column was perfectly smooth, almost frictionless, wouldn't break. Even when Aki had tried to hammer in a piton, all that had happened was that the metal spike shattered under the impact of the blow. The surface of the substance hadn't even been scratched.

"Maybe I should just throw you up there," Aki suggested.

"Don't even joke about it." Frog wasn't sure if Aki would try it and didn't want to find out. He gazed upwards to the top once more. "Too bad we can't fly up there."

"A good idea," D'Amour said from next to Frog.

"Thank you, SiAHHH!" The speedy Frog leaped twenty feet away in less than a heartbeat. Everyone else backed away as well.

"How...how did you...?" was all that Brunt could get out.

"Fortunately I was only pinned under forty feet of water by a safe filled with lead. I was never in any real danger."

Everyone just stared blankly.

"That guy's worse than a cockroach," Aki mumbled under her breath.

D'Amour took charge of the situation. "Now we must turn our attention to rescuing the beautiful Miss Shampoo."

"And Ranma," Frog added.

"I'm not sure he's worth bothering with. I don't think I'm going to get anywhere with his mother, and the guy is a total egotistical jerk."

"Some of us are motivated by things other than our libido!" Aki growled. "He's my friend!"

"Fine, fine," D'Amour relented. "We'll grab Mr. Sap-to-me. Luthorinski!"

The red-haired scientist moved forward. "Yes, Sir?"

"Build me something that will get us up there," D'Amour ordered.

Within ten minutes, the resident mad scientist had whipped up a jet pack from the parts within the seemingly empty pack he carried. "This Alpha Marauder Jet Pack 1000 Luthorinski Series is sure to get you up there in no time."

"Not me," D'Amour explained. "Flavio! Get over here!"

One of the nearby crewmen, a handsome man with long flowing brown hair and who looked as though he belonged painted on the cover of a romance novel, put down his jar of, 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Since It Tastes Almost Like Butter' and moved to the captain.

D'Amour gave his orders as he helped put the pack on Flavio. "Fly up there and grab Shampoo."

"And Ranma," Aki reminded him.

"Got it," Flavio said and pushed the on button. The jet packed worked like a charm, sending Flavio to the skies above. Just as he was nearing the height where Shampoo and Ranma were, he went to adjust the speed of the pack.

"AHHHHHhhhhhh..." he shouted as he kept going straight up into the air and out of earshot, then eventually out of sight.

"Damn!" Luthorinski said as he clenched his fist. "I knew I forgot something."

"What?" D'Amour asked.

"The off switch."

D'Amour gazed lazily up to where his crewman had disappeared. "Ah, it's no great loss. I never liked him anyway. He was always hitting on women and treating them like they were sex objects. I hate that kind of attitude. Why did everyone just facefault?"

Everyone picked themselves up and regained their composure. Luthorinski made another jet pack, this one with the off switch. The 'volunteer' on this occasion was Forlorn. The raven-haired woman was the ship's counselor, who one never went to see because all talking with her did was make the patients depressed, no matter what was bothering them. Those that made the mistake of going to her to have their depression treated usually ended up on the suicide prevention watch that the crew had set up for such situations. The single benefit to her presence was that prolonged exposure to her could depress even the jovial D'Amour, which was always call for celebration.

"I'm doomed," she said in a low, dismal voice.

"You always say that when you do anything," Brunt said as he finished strapping on the pack.

"It's always true, isn't it?"

Brunt thought about that and realized she was correct. He made certain to stand very far away when she turned her pack on.

*BOOM*

Once the smoke cleared, everyone saw the ash-covered form of Forlorn, her despondent look unfazed. "I told you so," she moaned before passing out.

"You'll never get them down at this rate."

All eyes turned to the newcomer: Ghost Sweeper Minami.

"You should still be resting," D'Amour warned, and for a change he was right. She was still pale and appeared as though she were death warmed over.

"I have to save my friends," she stated boldly as she stood next to the base of the column. Once next to the massive crystal-like substance, she placed one hand on it and stared. It had an incredibly strange aura, one she would investigate at a later time.

Getting to the area where Mount Phoenix had once existed had been no easy task. As weak as she was from her ordeal, she had forced herself to catch up to the crew and help Ranma and Shampoo. From what the others had said, she woke up out of her magical-induced sleep at the same moment that the column of light disappeared. And she had no doubt it was Shampoo and Ranma that had done it, even if she didn't know how. Now she needed to repay them.

She crossed her hands over one another, concentrating so that the magic within her would build up. She released it and initiated the spell. Gently she rose off the ground and began hovering in mid-air, gradually gaining greater height as she continued up the side of the column. Within minutes she was at the top, easily spotting Ranma and Shampoo's sleeping forms, each with arms wrapped around one another.

She just shook her head. What the others did with their lives was their own business. Unlike everyone else in Nerima, she acknowledged that romance was never her strong suit and had no desire to meddle in the love lives of others. It was good to see the walking ego had apparently made a final choice though. Poor Akane. Minami had been leaning towards her in the 'Ranma Romance War' since they were sort of friends. The Ghost Sweeper vowed that she would see what she could do to help Akane later.

She walked over to the couple and magically checked them to make certain that they were both all right. With that confirmed, she rested a couple of minutes to gather her strength once again. The illness had taken more out of her than she had realized. Flying up to the top of column was difficult enough, but getting down with both of the youths was going to be next to impossible. Her best bet was to take them down one at a time. At least the weight would be more manageable, and it would just take a little extra time. After all, it wasn't as though there were any rush.

Then she saw the form flying towards them from the distance and heard the roar of rage from it.

"OH SHIT!" she shouted out. They had just run out of time. Hurriedly she picked up both Ranma and Shampoo's forms, barely keeping from collapsing under the duo's combined weight. She didn't believe for one second she was going to get enough lift to keep them from falling, but a small chance was better than no chance at all, and there was no way she was powerful enough to fight off what was coming. A demon she might be able to handle, but certainly not the creature that was approaching. She could almost sense its malevolence as it got nearer to the column of crystal.

Looking at the distant ground below her, she thought the others might be able to protect them if she made it down in time. Summoning every ounce of energy she had, she cast the spell of flight again and stepped off the spire.

At first their decent was controlled, but their speed increased the further they got down the pillar, and at the three quarters point, she ran out of mystical energy, plunging all three into freefall. Minami thought, as they were falling, that at least they weren't going to be roasted alive, or worse, eaten.

Minutes earlier:

Herb-chan stared at the column of crystal in the distance. That really was the final straw. First it was two mile long dragons appearing out of nowhere and radiating enough chi to fry even Herb-chan without blinking. Next it was huge eyes opening in mid-air. Then it was mountains exploding. But the last bit was a huge beam of chi popping up out of nowhere and then the entire land going screwy. It took her a while to make sure that the huge pillar of chi wasn't coming back any time soon before she worked up the courage to fly over to the column of crystal, since apparently that was all that left of Mount Phoenix.

It was all supposed to be so simple. The Shogun of the Dark would cast a spell of great power and Herb-chan would be the next emperor of China. Now she had a feeling that all of the plans were ruined. The great dragon might have been part of the spell -that made sense with all of the references the Shogun had made about Herb-chan being family- but the rest of it felt...wrong. As though something had backfired. And the Shogun would have sent some word to Herb-chan that everything had gone according to plan. But there had been no word. Nothing. It was time to find out what had gone wrong. And she was going to do it with all the might she had at her disposal.

Her hand went to the canteen of water that was now a permanent addition to her attire. No longer would she travel anywhere without the water. It was now a refuge, rather than a curse, for humans did not like dealing with that which was not them. Slowly she brought her chi to a level that would cause the water to boil so that the future emperor of China could now take the true form she now possessed.

With a flourish she held the canteen high above her head, then let the hot water pour over her, triggering the transformation.

His nose detected the scent of what several members of his nearby troops had done. "Stop soiling your armor! Haven't you ever seen a dragon before?!"

And with that, eighty feet of dragon took off into the skies and headed towards the column of crystal that was off in the distance. Herb still marveled at the power his metamorphosis had unleashed. The Shogun had told him that the blood of dragons flowed more fiercely through his veins than ever before, but even Herb could not have guessed the sort of change that had occurred to him. Of course he lacked a human male body now, but lately his cursed girl's form didn't seem so terrible anymore.

When he was a dragon, his senses were extraordinary. Dragons saw and felt things so differently from the way humans did. Yet despite the change, he still wanted to keep a human outlook on things, so he remained in his cursed form most of the time. Besides, eighty foot dragons tended to scare the hell out of followers. Not that he didn't revel in the power of his dragon form. Oh, how seductive that power was. He couldn't have been happier about his current condition, curse included. He now had the best of both worlds.

He concentrated on the flight before him. Once he arrived at the spire he would ask the Shogun nicely what was going on. And if the Shogun was not there, if there was another who was responsible for Herb losing his dreams, he would bite him in half and gorge himself on the fool's blood.

Herb the dragon flew with wings that could carry him at speeds in excess of two hundred miles an hour if he so chose. The wind blew over his blue-white scales, allowing him to enjoy what few others could in the form of natural flight. However, now was not the time to revel in his change. Now was the time to answer the questions that preyed at his mind. And as he got within five miles of the column, he at last understood what had happened.

"SSSSAAAAOOOOTTTTOOOOMMMMEEEE!"

Minami felt herself falling to her death. What a stupid way to die. She just couldn't go out in a blaze of glory fighting the hordes of demonkind, or trying to save millions of people from doom, or in a hot tub full of Jello with two handsome male models. Nope. She was going to end up going splat and looking like roadkill in some backwater countryside with a ship full of idiots as the only witnesses to her demise.

She should have remained in her magical coma.

"AHHH! A beautiful girl and a somewhat attractive one are falling to their deaths. I have to save them!" D'Amour could not allow such beauty to come to harm. He leaped onto the tallest nearby structure he could: Brunt's head, and propelled himself through the air to try to catch one of the two girl before they hit.

Aki picked up Frog and prepared to throw him like a javelin.

"Are you crazy?!" he shouted at Aki.

"Shut up and snag Ranma and Shampoo."

"But what about me?! I'll fall to my death!"

"Typical! Always thinking about yourself." Aki threw him in the air and shouted, "Don't worry about it! I got you covered!"

"What about Minami?!" Frog shouted as he timed when he would cross paths in mid-air with his targets. At least Aki's throw was on the mark and he was going to hit them head on.

"I want the captain to catch her!" She watched as Frog latched onto Ranma and Shampoo. She heard him 'whuff' as his upward momentum instantly negated by the greater velocity that the pair had built up. Now Frog was falling with the couple, and at only a slightly slower rate. The only thing that had been gained was that their landing could be controlled.

Brunt refrained from asking exactly why Aki would want the captain to catch anyone, though D'Amour's incredible leap had enabled the Captain to snare Minami gracefully as both began their own descent to the ground. "How are we going to save Frog?" Brunt asked.

"You're going to break their fall."

"Oh that's...WHAT!" Brunt felt himself grabbed by the back of his shirt and pants and thrown into the air.

Resigning himself to some pain, Brunt caught the trio, slowing them down somewhat, then began to fall as well. He made sure all three were cushioned in his body as they fell. He took one look over his shoulder, timing when he would hit the ground, then braced for the impact.

*WHAM*

Yes. It had hurt a lot. He was going to need lots of ice packs and painkillers for a long while after that little collision. Fortunately his sacrifice wasn't wasted as he saw that Frog was looking a little bruised, but aside from that in good health. Ranma and Shampoo didn't look any worse off either. Actually, they appeared to be resting peacefully, each with gentle smiles that somehow seemed identical despite being on faces that held little resemblance to one another.

A second thud shook Brunt out of his reverie. Next to him D'Amour had at last landed on his feet, buried completely in the dirt up to his knees. In his arms Minami remained unharmed. What hurt Brunt more than anything was that gleaming smile the captain gave to Minami as he pulled his legs out of the holes he had made. D'Amour appeared completely uninjured in spite of the fall. Aki must have been right. Only a cockroach was that indestructible.

"Where's the dragon?!" Minami cried out as she looked towards the sky.

All other eyes scanned the horizon in the direction the ghost sweeper was looking in.

"I don't see any dragon." Brunt's comment was reflected by everyone else that was present too.

"Where in the name of the Fifth Ring of Hell did he go?" Minami said as she continued scanning the skies.

Seconds before:

Herb had seen them. It was them. Ranma and Shampoo. The two people he most wanted dead in the world. That those two should be where the Shogun had been mere minutes ago could only mean one thing.

"I AM GOING TO BURN YOU AND EVERYONE YOU CARE ABOUT INTO A PILE OF CINDERS!" Herb roared as he flew closer to the motionless duo. Whoever the girl next to them was did not matter; she would die as well for the crime of being too close to Ranma and Shampoo. Then he would raze Joketsuzoku to the ground, then go to Japan and burn anything with the name of Saotome. Then he would find some other way to eradicate those that had destroyed his dream of ruling China. Oh, how they would all pay.

He was no more than eight miles away when the other appeared.

"Pull over, sir!"

Herb turned his head and nearly fell out of the sky. It was a fat dumpy man with sunglasses on and wearing what appeared to be a policeman's outfit with a blue turtle on the sleeve. But the most amazing thing was not the absurd noise that the man was making, it was the large flying, pink pig with enormous wing-like ears he was riding.

"Pull over!" the little man warned again. "I need to see your license and registration."

Herb unleashed a gout of one thousand degree flame at the flying fool. Once finished Herb saw there was nothing there. He had completely vaporized the annoying pest and his animal.

"Do you have any idea of how fast you were going?" a voice off to his right said.

Herb swiveled his serpentine neck in the direction of the voice. It was the same blasted fool, still on the same blasted pig. Somehow the little man had eluded the flames without Herb seeing the evasion. The fat man wasn't even singed.

"Do you have a license to breathe fire while airborne?"

Herb unleashed another gout of flame at the dumpy man and with the same results: there was nothing present.

"You're just making this harder on yourself," a voice said directly from above his head. "Land on the ground. There's someone that wishes to talk to you."

"DIE!" a third gout of flame was aimed at the flying man. It never reached as the world went black around Herb and he felt a bitter cold touch him through his thick scales and all the way to his bones.

He looked around, but save for the small patch of ground on which he stood, only blackness greeted him. Everything around him was so cold. How he had gotten there was suddenly secondary to getting out of wherever he was. Even in his now natural dragon form he would not last more than a couple of minutes.

"You really made that a lot more difficult than it had to be."

Herb turned to see that a man with jet black skin, a brown suit and bowler, and with a cane in hand was now talking to him. The plain white orbs that were the man's eyes seemed to bore directly into Herb's soul.

"I usually don't like to be so direct in my offering, but your point of no return was passing rather quickly and I had to get this offer in before it was too late." Mr. Domino smiled at the dragon before him, showing those perfectly white teeth that contrasted so brightly with the jet blackness that seemed to compose the humanoid creature.

"Why are you doing this?" Herb gasped out as he shivered from the cold. Not much time left at all.

"That's so much better than most of the other questions that seem to pop out of everyone's mouth anymore." He pointed his cane towards Herb. "My name is Mr. Domino, and I am here to grant you one thing. What do you want?"

Herb didn't know what game the man was playing at, and in his condition it didn't matter. He blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"I want to rule China."

Mr. Domino smiled even wider at that. "You shall rule a large section of China, but first there is something you must do for me."

"Whatever!" Herb shouted as he felt his life force slowly bring sucked away. He knew he couldn't even breathe fire anymore to heat himself up.

Mr. Domino gave a nod of his head. "You are an exceptionally wise dragon. Here is what I need for you to do. You will make no overt moves against any power near you. You will consolidate your forces from this fiasco and wait until such a time as I summon you. From there you will be allowed to fulfill your wish and rule over a large section of China." Domino turned to go, but held back for one moment.

"By the way, allow me to give you some advice. Consider it free of charge. You do not wish to kill Ranma and Shampoo now. If you try you will die, being blown out of the skies by one with more skill than you, and both Ranma and Shampoo will live on. I hope I make myself clear."

"P...perfectly," Herb barely managed to rasp out.

"Excellent." And as Domino disappeared into the darkness, so did the darkness itself. Herb found himself lying on the ground, heat slowly returning to his body. There was no doubt in his mind he was going to do exactly what Mr. Domino had suggested. Even if he was mistaken about being blown out of the sky, and Herb didn't think he was wrong, the king of the Musk was too weak to kill Saotome and Shampoo now. He would wait, bide his time, and hopefully become the ruler of a large part of China. It beat getting killed, and would afford him time to plan a really painful resolution to his two Jusenkyou-cursed enemies. Yes, they would still suffer unimaginable agonies. Far better ones than Herb could have come up with on the spur of the moment.

As to Mr. Domino himself, whereas the Shogun of the Dark exuded power, Domino simply was power. And there was no question in Herb's soul that what Mr. Domino had said was true. Every bit of it. At last he would realize his dream of being a true emperor. Hopefully it would be a long reign. He knew that sometimes even accurate prophecies didn't turn out quite the way they sounded, and there had been no mention of how long Herb's reign would be.

Frog got off of Brunt and glared at Aki. "What the Hell did you think you were doing, you dumb bit-"

Six pairs of hands clamped themselves over Frog's mouth even as he bit down voluntarily on his own tongue. Too late.

"What was that?!" Aki growled.

Six different people spoke up, giving answers of 'bitty' to 'bit of a cute girl.'

Aki would have none of that. She shoved the others away and grabbed Frog by the throat, shaking him violently. "What were you going to say?!"

"Nothing." Frog just had to let his fiery temper go out of control and all but signed his own death warrant. His mother had always told him he had a foul mouth and it would get him into trouble. It figured 'dear old Mom' was correct once again.

"Liar! Say it! SAY IT!" Aki shook harder, as though that would somehow bring the answer erupting forth from Frog's lips.

Off to the side, Luthorinski confronted Brunt, who was wise enough to stay out of the way of the angry woman and the target of her 'attentions'. "Has she ever killed anyone that didn't say the b-word?"

"Don't think so, but it looks like she's going for her first."

"I'll talk her out of it," the recovered Forlorn sighed as she walked over to Aki and began to council her on how wrong it was to be angry at Frog when there were so many things in the world to be depressed about. That she began to list them in a monotone that would have brought down Mikado Sanzenzin from his one thousandth kiss was all it took for Aki to release her hold on Frog and cover her ears, fearful she would end up moping around in a depressed state like her cousin so often did.

Minami was still looking at the skies when she suddenly felt aroused. It took her only a moment to discover why that was.

"Hey, you jerk! You're fondling me!"

D'Amour shook his head. "Nonsense. I had to grab you to rescue you. It's not my fault my hands ended up where they are."

"It is your fault when they stay there and squeeze on their own." She forced herself out of his grasp and grinned evilly at him.

"Hey now, it was all in innocent fun." D'Amour insisted. "And if you liked that small dose of affection, why not come down to my cabin when we get back and let me give you the full treatment?"

"I have a better idea for something I can do for 'innocent fun'." Minami's hands glowed blue.

"Uh oh!" was all the captain got out before the blue glow encompassed him.

All of the crew smiled in joy and applauded at the sable sitting in a pile of clothes before them. Rather than wait for knives that would be used to make him into a coat, he ran off, as far away from the crew as he could, before someone tried exacting revenge for some imagined wrong he did to them.

Even Aki smiled in happiness, forgetting the reason she had Frog grasped in her hands. The captain getting his just desserts was more than enough reason to release her anger and depression and continue on with taking the still unconscious Ranma and Shampoo back to the ship.

Ukyou remained in the hallway with her new companion: Ryouga. The lost one had wandered by trying to find someone to set his broken wrist and arm. Ukyou, unable to bring herself to go inside, ushered him into the sick bay for help. After half an hour, he reemerged, his arm and wrist in a cast thanks to Dr. Sangre. Once out in the hall he offered his support. There were no words he knew to help her, so he simply held her to him with his free arm, allowing her to sob into his chest.

Bubbles finally came out of the sick bay and spotted the chef. Ukyou closely examined the woman. Blood covered the chest and arms of her surgical gown; her face a mask of seriousness.

"I'm not one to give false assurances. I want to be perfectly honest with you here. Do you want me to tell you the truth, or would you rather not know?" the dancer asked.

"Tell me."

Bubbles nodded sympathetically. "She's alive, but in critical condition. She's in bad shape and could go at any time. Hell, it's a miracle she's alive at all with all of the blood she's lost. The transfusions seem to have gone all right and I reattached her nerve endings and fixed the spinal column damage, but it is possible she'll never walk again. Even if she recovers, she'll definitely never regain her full range of physical abilities."

Bubbles paused a moment before continuing. "There's also a good chance she might have suffered brain damage from the blood loss. I can't be sure right now since she's in a deep coma. I'm sorry, but she might never regain consciousness, that's if she survives."

Ukyou absorbed all the information and stumbled into Ryouga as she nearly collapsed. He supported her as best as he could until she regained her footing.

"I need to see her," Ukyou said, her voice holding steady.

"Of course." Bubbles reentered the sick bay and led Ukyou to where Ai lay. Various machines Ukyou didn't recognize were hooked up to Ai. One of them, perhaps a heart monitor, was letting off a chorus of intermittent beeps. Intravenous tubes led into her arms, filling her with several fluids from hanging bags. Revulsion rose in Ukyou's throat at the scene before her. It was all so wrong. Ai should have been fine, giving Ukyou that soft yet wry smile she would unleash when Ukyou unwittingly did something to flatter the blonde. It was only lately that Ukyou began to pick up on the small nuances and quirks that the girl she...loved possessed.

Ukyou moved her hand to push aside a lock of hair from Ai's face. "Don't worry, I'll get used to saying I love you. All I need for you to do is wake up. Just wake up." She recomposed herself after barely choking out those last words.

"You can stay as long as you like. There's even a bed you can sleep in." Bubbles indicated an empty bed near Ai's.

"Thank you. Do you think it would be possible to have a little privacy? I know Ai would hate to be put on display like this. She really is too vain for her own good." Ukyou began sniffling uncontrollably. The request was as much for her benefit as Ai's. She was about to lose all self control and wanted to maintain some measure of dignity. It was going to be a long lonely night. One of perhaps many.

Kodachi was barely listening to the others in the room and their talk of Ai's condition. Dr. Sangre had done a thorough examination of the unconscious Mousse and determined his life was in no real danger, though what long term damage there was from the electricity he had absorbed was anybody's guess. The doctor took care of the burns that marked Mousse's throat, telling Kodachi that even after it eventually healed there would still be a scar there for the rest of his life.

Kodachi cared nothing for whatever blemishes Mousse would possess. It had been quite some time ago that whatever vague initial fantasy that had attracted her to the man that had 'saved' her life that night above the rooftop of the Tendo Dojo had given way to true love for the man Mousse was. He had even come to care for her, perhaps even loved her, at least a little. Always he leaped to her defense, despite those unique traits in her personality that others foolishly labeled eccentricities, or worse when they believed she was out of earshot. However, long ago she refused to conform to the vague standards that others set. She was a unique individual, not some mindless sheep. Any time others tried to convince her to change, she would scoff at them and their ridiculous desires to transform the lone black rose in the field to that of a red, like the others.

"Except for you, Mousse-sama. If you wished it, I would change my shade for you." It was an odd admission for her to make, but deep inside she knew he would demand nothing. Perhaps that was why she trusted him beyond all others. But whatever the case, he did have her. Of course what he intended to do with the flower he had picked was anyone's guess.

Then her reminiscing was brought to a close.

"Make way!" A crewman shouted as he helped bring in the prone form of Kunou.

"A doctor's work is never done," Bubbles moaned as she took a quick look at Kunou. She shuddered at first when she spotted the tourniquet. Then she saw the nature of the wound that had urged its use. "The leg has to come off," she said mostly to herself.

As Bubbles was about to don her surgical mask once more she found herself nearly barreled over by Kodachi.

"Brother dear!" she cried out.

"You're his sister?"

Kodachi, unable to speak, nodded her head.

"I see. I have to get to work again, and since I really don't think you want to see what happens next, I recommend you leave. Although don't go too far. Your brother might need you once he recovers and sees what happened to him."

Kodachi assented, wondering exactly how her brother would deal with the loss he was about to undergo, and if she really could do anything to help him.

Out in the hallway, another reunion took place as Ryouga spotted someone he had wanted to see since his return from the fight.

"Kyoko!"

"Ryouga!"

He felt like crying. She was all right. Even with the dressing around both of her legs, making her look like a half-completed mummy, she was still beautiful to him. He rushed forward to touch her, afraid that she was some mirage and that love had fled from his embrace once more. As the two rushed towards one another, he could make out the tears running down her cheeks and knew then she was real; never in his wildest dreams had he ever believed a girl could cry in joy over him.

As they were almost to each other, she held out her arms to embrace her man. He took another step and was next to her. Then, without thinking, he brought his arms up to embrace her as well. His left was over her shoulder in an instant. His right, which was in a cast that kept his elbow fixed at a forty five degree angle, met squarely with the bottom of her jaw rather than over the other shoulder that he was aiming for.

She stared at him for one moment, a look of confusion in her eyes. "Why?" she asked before going limp.

Only Ryouga's good arm prevented her from hitting the floor. "It's not my fault! It was an accident!" Ryouga shouted out. Panic almost overtook him until he remembered that the sick bay was at the end of the hall, thankfully in his line of sight. He carried her with his one arm to Dr. Sangre's care, hoping she would forgive him when she came around.

Cologne caught up to the Hunt Pack and Silk as they corralled their prisoners on the shore, getting them ready for possible travel once more. The two hours of rest she had gotten seemed to do her little good. Twice she had nearly passed out before meeting her people. Only Silk seemed to notice the terrible shape she was in. That was just as well. Cologne would need the woman's help in the next couple of days.

"Listen to me closely, warriors." She noticed that all of them smiled at one another and stood a little taller at that. Perfume would have to be complimented on the job she had done with that lot. Even Cologne would never have been able to convince them to work so willingly together. The girl's leadership qualities were truly astounding.

"Here are my commands. Notify everyone back home that all members of our people are to stay away from both this ship and the place where the mountain once stood until I say otherwise. I will determine when it is safe. Take your prisoners and go now. All of you, save for Silk and Perfume, are to go back and stay there. I'll have your belongings sent to you later."

The Hunt Pack bowed as one and herded their prisoners together. All felt a tremendous amount of relief at going home at last and spoke to one another about what they were going to do once they returned.

Once they were out of sight, Silk finally dared to approach Cologne. "You look terrible," she said as she tried to examine Cologne.

"Thank you," Cologne said dryly as she shooed Silk away. It was only with the greatest of reluctance that Silk agreed. "I have been through much-."

"Too much," Silk interjected, gaining a scowl from Cologne that she promptly ignored.

"As I was saying, I have been through much and there is still a great deal more to do. I need you to sneak over to the Jusenkyou Guide. If what I suspect is true, we just might be able to cure Shampoo now. But we have to do it quickly, lest someone discovers she's cursed."

Silk had wanted to spend some time alone with Soun. Their rekindled romance was proving very...satisfying. But Shampoo's life took precedent over any romantic interludes she would have. Besides, that just meant the anticipation would build and their next meeting would be all the more fulfilling. With a bow, she left Cologne's side and ran off, hoping to make it back before nightfall.

Cologne had just made it back on the ship when the group that had gone to retrieve Ranma and Shampoo at last returned. Each was still unconscious and was being carried by stretcher back onto the ship. Even from a distance, she knew that they were indeed all right.

"My son!" Nodoka was at Ranma's side the instant he was on the ship.

"He's sleeping," Aki reassured her. "They both are. As near as I can tell they're both completely exhausted, but physically okay. And after what happened at the mountain, whatever it was, it ain't really a surprise. They need to rest."

In spite of the recommendation, Nodoka tried to shake her son awake. She wanted, no, needed to hear him speak. Needed to know he would be all right. With her third shake Ranma's eyes fluttered open, causing her to cry out in relief.

At last Ranma regained enough of his senses to take in his surroundings, and that something was missing.

"Shampoo?" Using all of his remaining strength he barely managed to escape his mother's grasp, much to her confusion. "Where's Shampoo? Wh-"

"Over here." Aki indicated the stretcher that carried Shampoo's unmoving form.

Half-dazed, Ranma started to panic at the sight of her still form. "She's...?"

"All right," Cologne reassured him. "She's exhausted, like you are. What both of you need is rest."

Ranma was barely able to stagger to Shampoo and half-collapsed upon her stretcher. "Not gonna leave her," he said in an almost dreamlike state.

Aki gave a soft look to the couple. "We'll leave you two together. Don't worry. We won't keep you apart." By the time she had finished Ranma was unconscious once again. Aki simply picked him up in her arms and followed the men that carried Shampoo to the sick bay, and was followed in turn by Genma, Nodoka and Cologne. The elder only paused a moment to ask if the group had encountered any Amazons. Much to her relief, they had not. The only Amazons that knew of Shampoo's exact location were Silk and Perfume, and with any luck she could keep it that way until Shampoo could be cured.

Bubbles took off her gloves with a flourish as she wondered if she should ask for a pay raise from the captain, assuming he hadn't already been devoured by some wandering predator. She smiled a little at the captain's recent fate and gave the results of her examinations to the concerned parties.

"There's nothing wrong with either of them. They're in perfect health, and I do mean perfect. I've never seen two people in such a flawless condition. I couldn't find a single blemish on either of their bodies. It's unnatural."

"Allow me to check something out," Cologne said as she grabbed two empty bottles and filled them with warm and cold water. Everyone that knew of the curses held their breaths as Cologne held the bottle of cold water over Shampoo's form. She told herself there was no point in waiting; what would be would be, so she poured a bit of the water over Shampoo.

Breasts disappeared and hair color changed from purple to black as her form grew in size and height.

Cologne felt her heart sink as she witnessed the change. There had been some small part of her that had hoped that with Shampoo's 'death' that the curse had left her, as it had with Tarou, but it was not to be. She poured some hot water to change Shampoo back, then repeated the test upon Ranma and ended up with the same results. She waved the crewmen to continue on their way.

Nodoka watched as several of the crewmen wheeled the still sleeping Ranma and Shampoo out. "Where are you taking them?"

"To their rooms. There's nothing wrong with them other than simple exhaustion, and," she indicated the filled beds around them, "this place is getting a little crowded."

"See to it they are placed together," Cologne ordered the men.

"Why?" Nodoka asked suspiciously.

Cologne regarded the woman for a moment. Now that Nodoka knew her son was all right she was quickly trying to adjust the situation to reflect her desires. Such strength of will impressed the elder. Cologne found herself admiring Nodoka Saotome, despite the fact they worked at cross purposes. "You saw how agitated Ranma was at Shampoo's absence. How do you think he'll react if he wakes up on his own and Shampoo isn't there?"

Nodoka considered that. Despite what the doctor had said, she was still not completely certain Ranma was really all right. She was his mother after all. Worrying was well within her rights. And he had seemed very concerned over Shampoo's absence. That was not the state Nodoka wanted him in while he was so vulnerable.

"Very well. Let them rest with one another." She would check on Ranma constantly until she knew for certain her son was all right. Any discussions about recent events could wait until then.

Aki watched the family members depart. "Thank goodness they're all right."

"Yes. It would be a shame to see someone as lovely as Shampoo harmed in any way."

"That's very nice of you to saAHHH!" Once again Aki managed to be surprised by the arrival of the impossible.

"You need to calm down," D'Amour soothed. "Too much tension could be bad for you. What you need to do is lead a stress-free life like I do."

"How the hell did you get out of being a sable?! Minami said that spell would last for days!"

"Fortunately you left my sword lying with my pile of clothes." D'Amour indicated his sheathed weapon. "It's magic itself, and has the ability to cut through magical enchantments. Once I got it out, it was easy to cut through the metamorphosis spell and change me back to normal."

Aki refrained from bashing her head into an operating table. He was indestructible. That was all there was to it. He would not/could not ever die. All she could do was keep trying and pray to the gods above to be delivered from her captain's hands.

"Go away!"

"But Akane, this is your father speaking!" Soun protested to the closed door before him. It took all of his self-control to keep from crying out loud. Before his encounter with Silk he would certainly have broken down long before then, but somehow their reborn relationship made him feel much more in control, like he had been in the old days when his master wasn't around. Happosai's ending was certainly cause for celebration too. Genma and he would get as drunk as humanly possible once they had a moment, but that would have to wait until after Akane was somehow helped.

"Can you get your sister to come out?" Soun asked the nearby Kasumi.

Kasumi gave him a sad look. "She wouldn't come out for me either, Father. I'm worried."

"I'm okay," Akane sobbed through the door. "Don't worry about me like that. I just need some time alone. That's all I want right now. Please?"

The two Tendos looked to each other and sighed. For ten minutes Akane had rebuked their attempts to help her, and she was as stubborn as a mule and wouldn't come out if she didn't want to. Since Soun couldn't bring himself to break down the flimsy door to his daughter's cabin, he agreed, after both he and Kasumi reassured Akane they would be there if she needed them.

Once they were gone, Akane went back to sobbing on her bed. She had lost probably the two most important people, outside of her family, in her life. One forever and the other just as well. One that held her heart and another that had held her trust, and there was nothing she could do about it. The only thing she had left was her dignity, and she was damned if she was going to lose that too by crying in front of her family. She couldn't even bear to see Ranma once Kasumi informed her he was all right. Shampoo was too, not that she mattered in the least to Akane. If anything, she hated the Amazon more than ever, and it went beyond stealing Ranma away from her.

Why was it the damned Amazon got to come back from the dead and Tarou couldn't? Even death had not prevented Shampoo from taking Ranma away from her. It just wasn't fair. Shampoo had everything while Akane had nothing. It was all Shampoo's fault. If only she hadn't entered Akane's life everything would have been fine. Instead the Amazon had ruined everything. There would be no forgiveness for her. Never.

Even anger could not be maintained over the depression Akane felt as her losses claimed her once again. A new wave of guilt brought even more wracked sobs from her as she blamed herself for Tarou's death. The only reason he had been there was for her. If he hadn't been there he would still alive. If only...

Her thoughts stopped there as exhaustion finally claimed her and she went to sleep, sobbing in her nightmares the entire time.

Cologne sighed as she considered the information Silk had come back with. Jusenkyou was destroyed and there was no way to reclaim the magic. There could be no doubts as to its destruction either. Silk had witnessed firsthand creatures plunged into the various remaining pools with no change to their bodies. She had even gone so far as to deliberately drown a mouse to see if she could force a change to a pool, but nothing had happened. Jusenkyou was gone, presumably forever, thanks to the huge dragon that had nearly destroyed everything.

There was one last hope though. The Guide had claimed that he had kept small barrels of each kind of water stored in a shack far away. He would return in two day's time with a barrel of Nyanniichuan for Shampoo and Nannichuan for Ranma. Hopefully it would work. It should. The Guide had said that several springs had been destroyed in the past, but water that had been taken from them before their destruction still worked afterwards. The waters should still be able to cure the two children. Hopefully.

Once Silk was finished with her report, Cologne ordered her to remain silent about the whole affair. The Hibiki boy might try to claim the Nanniichuan water for himself, and who knew what might happen if word got out that Shampoo needed Nyanniichuan water. No, the fewer people that knew about it the better.

Within the first minute after Silk had left and made a direct line to Soun's cabin, Cologne felt as though she was going to pass out once again. She hadn't felt that tired since she was a little girl, and her periods of strength were growing farther and farther apart. It didn't seem as though she was ever going to recover her full wits. She paused a moment to look within herself to see if she could determine what her condition was. It was hard to concentrate, but she had to focus and try to find out what was wrong. Summoning her chi was quickly proving itself an impossible task.

"You're dying."

Cologne looked up, startled at the intruder. She had entered without knocking? That seemed almost as likely as Happosai giving up stealing underwear, while he was alive anyway.

"What brings you here, Kasumi Tendo?"

Kasumi continued staring sorrowfully at Cologne. "I'm sorry for barging in, but you didn't answer the knock at the door, and I remember you didn't look very well. I just wanted to be sure you're all right."

"I am," Cologne reassured her.

"No!" Kasumi cried out. "You're not. I can see it!"

"What makes you say that?"

"I can see your aura. It's very faint. Too faint. You won't last much longer!"

Kasumi could see chi auras? That was a surprise. She had never shown the slightest hint of having any extraordinary abilities, aside from the aptitude to withstand the chaos around her with a smile on her face, which was quite extraordinary when one thought about it. "Perhaps you are right." Cologne relented. She had suspected it as well, but had wanted to refuse to believe it. "I think it was when Ranma took some of my chi from me. Not that I hold it against the boy. That little bit might have made the difference between Shampoo coming back or not." She took a deep breath. "If my time has come, then it has."

"Oh, Elder." Kasumi fell to her knees and hugged Cologne. "There's been too many people hurt already. Grandfather Happosai. Mr. Tarou. I don't want you to go too!"

Cologne tried comforting the girl. Considering how long the matriarch and Shampoo had been at odds with one another in the past, something Ranma still held against her, it was nice that someone cared so greatly about her. "If it is my time, it is my time," she said simply.

"Wait," Kasumi sobbed out. "I think there's something I know that can help."

"Somehow I doubt that," Cologne said.

"No," Kausmi said once again. This time resolve was in her voice. "Watch this."

Kasumi held her hands apart. Cologne's eyes widened as a narrow line of chi began to form between them. She just watched in awe as a second line joined the first. Then a third, then many more lines that began to form in intricate pattern. Again and again, tiny new lines wove back and forth.

"That appears to be similar to the pattern we elders use to extend our lives." Cologne was amazed Kasumi could duplicate it at such a young age. It was one of the techniques that required a precision that was learned over decades of time, if ever. And it was a jealously guarded secret. Very few ever had the skill or talent to create the pattern, and fewer still that were proficient enough to have it extend their lives as long a Cologne had. Happosai was, no, had been good enough. And there were a handful of others that were almost as good as the two of them. But she was the best that she knew of. True, one had to use the technique at least once a week early on. Then, as the years became decades, twice a week. And when the decades became centuries, almost every other day. And there could be no break in the pattern once it was set. It was as though there was something that was constantly 'on' in the body, though it was not the sort of thing that one needed to pay any attention to. It was automatic after a while, like breathing. And if the weave of chi within the body was broken, the effects of age would quickly take their toll.

That was what had happened to Cologne when Ranma had taken so much if her own chi out of her. The weave had been broken and she couldn't seem to regain enough control, or summon enough to reset it. Using the ambient chi in the air above Mount Phoenix, using chi in a way other than to reset the weave within her, had just done further damage, and now it was too late. She had hoped otherwise, but deep down inside she had known the truth.

She continued watching Kasumi form the weave. Soon there was a delicate tapestry that lay between her hands.

"Nicely done," Cologne complimented. "But I fear that that will not be enough to..." she drifted off as what Kasumi did next startled even her.

The weave between her hands shifted as hundreds more tiny streams floated between them, the pattern becoming impossibly complex and incomprehensible to Cologne. That degree of control was just unattainable. Nothing human could deal with so many flows at one time. Nothing. Not even her.

"How..." was all she could get out.

"It's an improved version of what you usually use," Kasumi's voice became faint. "It...it won't be able to extend your life as long as before. Not very long at all. I...I...I'm sorry I'm not guh...good-"

Cologne cut her off. "It's all right, child. It doesn't matter. I can't use that." Kasumi's eyes widened, causing Cologne to explain before the girl asked inevitable questions. "I don't know how you can manipulate that level of chi. If I had suspected, even for a moment, I would have taken you under my guidance in an instant, but it's too complex for me to duplicate. I couldn't even get over half of what you did."

Kasumi dried up her tears for a moment as she tried to come up with some solution. She knew that somehow she had to teach Cologne how to duplicate what she had done or the elder would die within the week. There was one option, but Cologne was going to have to agree to it. "Allow me to place it within you."

Cologne hesitated at that. In order for Kasumi to do that, the elder was going to have to voluntarily let down all of her guards and allow the young girl full access to her very life energy. That was incredibly risky. When one could freely access another's life energy, they could manipulate them like a puppet. There were a number of officially banned techniques (which, curiously, a large number of elders and others knew anyway) that could control a person that had either no, or only very insignificant, control over their chi. But those that had any real control over it were immune to all of the techniques. However if one freely allowed others access to them, with all the guard lowered, that was different. What Kasumi was proposing would give an opening for that very kind of control over even her.

Almost her entire life had been about control, over herself or others. To permit someone else, for even one moment to be allowed to control her was a bit much. Still, the alternative...

She gave in. After all, if there was any one person that could be trusted, it was Kasumi. And even if something sinister was happening behind those trustworthy features, well, it wasn't as though Cologne was going to last too long anyway.

"I grant you this, Kasumi Tendo. There is still much I have to do."

Kasumi gave a bittersweet smile containing the knowledge that as much as she could do, it wasn't truly going to be enough.

Kunou stared at the unfamiliar ceiling before him. The land of the dead seemed to have mildew on its ceiling tiles. Most unusual. He had imagined it a hall filled with great warriors, like himself, dueling from dusk until dawn, assuming the Heavens had dusk and dawn. Instead there was a rather fishy odor to everything, and it seemed rather run down.

"You are awake, brother."

Kunou turned to see his sister sitting on a chair next to his bed. Not dead then. She certainly wasn't worthy of a warrior's status. That left another question: Why had his opponent not finished him? Utsutsu Mujuru had been a true warrior. He should have granted Tatewaki a fighter's death, even as Kunou would have done the same for him.

"Why am I still alive?"

Kodachi gave him a warded smile. The odds were good he still did not realize what had been done to him. "You were saved by the others. Isn't that-"

"You should have let him finish me!" Kunou snapped. Of course the others would interfere in his destiny. They were all so narrow minded. His entire life had been built to that one moment, and others had taken even that from him. Like they always did.

There was never an instant when he didn't lament the time he had been born to. Once he understood what being of noble blood truly meant in the modern day he became frustrated. The centuries had diluted both the land and the people in it. All of the old ways became lost to the new, and he was an anachronism in the 'modern age.' Any time he tried to reclaim some small piece of the past, others laughed at him and rejected him as though he was some kind of buffoon. Still, he had remained the warrior, ever espousing words of flowing beauty and a conduct that those lesser than him could look up to. But no. The foul Saotome and others mocked him and tried to make him less than he was. However, he resisted their temptations and withstood their assaults upon his person. Always he returned to show them how inadequate their attempts had been, laughing in return at their frivolous ways, content to know that they could not see the truth that he still did.

And at last he had found another like him. One who was as out of time as he was. All his life was meant to lead to that moment. To fight that blind warrior in the old ways, with hearts that longed for the clash of swords one on one and duels were fought over who had the right to cross a bridge first. Times that were forgotten, never to return. Time that had left Mujuru and Kunou behind. One of them was supposed to fall on that field of battle, fall forever, losing the fight yet also winning by dying in the fashion that their blood demanded. The one that lost his life might very well have been the one that had truly been the victor, for now there were no others that could challenge Kunou. None that could grant him the manner of death he so richly deserved. The right to die as a true warrior at the hands of another true warrior.

"My opponent?" Kunou asked.

Kodachi arched an eyebrow at that particular question. Was her bother still unaware of his condition? "I believe he was blown up when the mountain exploded."

A mountain exploded? Truly there must have been a fight of epic proportions. Still what faint hope Kunou had that Mujuru had survived was now dashed. The blind one too had not met the fate he deserved. Neither of them was given the resolution that destiny should have demanded.

"I will not lie here like a wounded dog!" Kunou pulled away the sheets and moved as if to raise himself to his feet, allowing his eyes to fall upon the truth.

"I'm sorry, brother. There was no other way."

Kunou looked down at the stump that ended no more than a half foot past his pelvis. The first thought through his mind was that he was no longer even a warrior now. He was nothing more than useless garbage. Then, almost as quickly, he remembered the fight. Perhaps Kunou the warrior had died as he was supposed to. Never again could he fight as he had, so perchance this was what was truly meant in his 'warrior's death'. But what course would that leave him now? What should he do? Should he commit seppuku, or should he go on, trying to discover what path he should take next?

In a fashion, Kunou was surprised by his own reaction to his loss of limb. Had it happened at any other point in his life he would most likely have ended his existence, but now, now he was not so certain.

"Leave me," he ordered Kodachi with the same strength he possessed before his loss. The spirit of Tatewaki Kunou had not changed. If it was his fate to continue on with his life, then he would do it with all of the pride he possessed. For missing a leg or no, his spirit was still the same as before. He was still better than everyone else.

Kodachi was uncertain at her brother's behavior at first. What little denial in his features had disappeared when he had ordered her away. Most surprising was that it seemed he was in little danger from himself. Perhaps it would be best to accede to his demands that one time. After all, he was missing a leg, and driving that point home by beating him up would be unwise.

"I shall be next to my Mousse." She indicated a bed not far away. "If you require my assistance, I will help you."

That was as close to obedience as he had ever seen from his sister. He nodded in response and asked her to pull the white cloth dividers around his bed so as to maintain some level of privacy. He had much to consider, and it would best be done alone.

Kodachi's concerns about her brother were completely forgotten when she saw that Mousse had at last regained consciousness. "Mousse-sama!" she began crying as she jumped onto his prone form. He just looked at her, confused.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing important, Mousse. Just so long as you're all right. That's all I care about," she continued sobbing into his arms, much to his embarrassment.

"Can I have some aspirin? I have a splitting headache." From the moment he awoke an intense migraine, the worst he had ever suffered in his entire life, had afflicted him. For a while he had thought his head was about to burst.

She quickly gave him several tablets from a nearby bottle, and rested in his arms as he eventually went back to sleep. She was quick to note that, for a change, he had not given a word of protest. Actually, he had seemed quite pleased that she would want to do that with him, even going so far as to embrace her while she rested with him. The feeling of being held by the man she loved was far greater than she had ever believed it would be.

Ranma sat up bolt upright from his bed, bathed in sweat from a nightmare that he could only remember the edges of. As before, upon awakening, there was only one thing on his mind.

"Where...?" He stopped as his hand fell on a warm figure next to him. By the dim moonlight that streamed in from the narrow porthole he could tell who his companion was. Even if the room were pitch black he would have sensed it. Instinctively he would be able to know her, even without seeing her. There was no way to explain it, but it was true all the same.

Shampoo's own eyes fluttered open in direct contrast to his panic-stricken awakening. Softly her gaze fell on his quickly relaxing features. "You look tired."

"Same goes for you." For some odd reason a smile found its way to his lips. He had never smiled simply because he had set eyes upon her. At least not before. It just seemed so...mushy. And he was not into all that girl talk kind of stuff.

He actually managed to chide himself for that attitude. Shampoo had been dead. He shuddered as he remembered cradling her smashed form in his hands, but he had done it. Somehow, by some miracle he had brought her back to life. A little sentimentality wouldn't be uncalled for. Not with what they had been through. Besides, at the moment, there was no way he was going to let her out of his sight. Not now. Not for any longer than he had to.

He hadn't even noticed his hand was stroking her face. It was operating on its own, but still it felt good to have the soft feel of her skin in his hand. It already seemed a million years ago that he had been afraid he would never touch her again. But he was touching her, thanks to all the gods he was touching her.

Her own hand rose in response and gently caressed his, not hindering his movement in the slightest. It was almost an encouraging gesture, urging him to continue his ministrations. The way her eyes almost seemed to glow in the dark, a slight reflection from the moonlight, made his heart surge with unfamiliar feelings. Not bad feelings, quite the opposite; he found himself enjoying them all the more. Life seemed inexplicably better somehow.

Maybe acting romantic once in a while was all right. Just so long as no else caught him acting so foolishly around her, only in private. That was it. It was okay to do it alone, and deny such behaviors if anyone was stupid enough to confront him about them.

With pride out of the way, he at last managed to fully enjoy acting on his impulses. Shampoo found herself drawn in to his embrace. His soft warmness seemed to fill her, and she snuggled more closely in his grasp. How she wished the feelings she experienced would never end. If only they could remain where they were, as they were, forever. All would be right with the world.

"Ranma?"

"Yes?"

"What do you remember about what happened on the mountain?"

He thought about that. "I remember it, but towards the end it was almost sort of like a dream. I remember you lying there. And there was..." he trailed off. There were no words that he knew that could possibly express the pain that he had felt. "Afterwards, I knew I needed to bring you back no matter what. No matter what," he softly repeated.

"I know. I felt the same way about returning to you. Nothing would stop me either. Nothing." She was silent a few moments before continuing. "I remember talking with an odd man while I was dead. He was Death."

"There's no reason to be afraid. I beat him. He ain't going to get you." Ranma's voice dropped to the quietest of whispers. "I'll never let him get you."

She smiled at that quiet, yet bold statement. "I was never afraid. I mean that. It was something else I felt. Emptiness, I think. That made me feel worse than any fear. I don't want to ever feel that empty again. I couldn't take it."

"Yeah," Ranma agreed. "Me neither. Never again."

"Never again?" She moved a little so she was looking directly into his eyes once more.

He pulled her in more tightly against his body. "Never ever, ever again."

"Good." She said simply, and continued enjoying his warmth. Nothing more needed to be said. That single word was enough. She snuggled in more closely to his warm body. He felt so good. "I'm too tired to do anything tonight."

"Same here."

Of course, he had thought 'do anything' meant 'grab something to eat since he was hungry.' Shampoo's definition was somewhat more risqué.

Each of them still had a long way to go.

"Are you sure you should go alone?"

Ranma sighed, staring at the risen sun. He didn't want to go alone. Some part of him was desperately afraid to allow Shampoo out of his sight, as though all that had happened was nothing but a dream, and that to let her go would end it and force him to wake up, still on top of that mountain with her corp...

No! He fought back the fear. It was stupid and irrational. He had brought her back from the dead, as impossible as it sounded. It was real. All of it was! And he would not allow himself to be ruled by fear. "I have to do it alone. If you were there it would just make things worse." A lot worse. Even now there were still some things he needed to do alone.

"Okay." Now that Shampoo thought about it, there was probably someone she needed to talk to alone as well. Things might be said that Ranma would not understand. It was best to keep it to herself, and not concern him with the past. Better for both of them, to be sure.

Ranma found himself even more reluctant to approach Akane's door this time around. It had been bad enough the first time when he had semi-good news to tell her about needing time to decide between her and Shampoo. However, he had now made a choice. The right choice.

So why did it still feel like someone had thrust a knife into his heart?

All too soon he found himself in front of her door. For the first time in his life he had wished to have Ryouga's sense of direction. Then he would never have found her room. He could have wandered the ship for days, weeks if he wanted too. He could have...

...been away from Shampoo for all of that time.

And since when had everything revolved around her? He didn't need to be around her all of the time. He wasn't reliant on any one person. He could stand on his own two feet, a man among men. The mantra of his life.

He shook his head. All of the posturing was for nothing. Deep down inside he could still feel the echoes of hollowness that had accompanied Shampoo's death, though thankfully the feeling was blunted. Yes, it had made him feel afraid, not that he would admit it to anyone. So fine, he wanted to be around her and was in love with her. Everything that accompanied accepting that admission was simply going to take some getting used to. He would adapt like he always did. With a new resolve he raised his hand to Akane's door.

And it was still there five minutes later.

He cursed himself for his spinelessness. No matter what he said it was going to hurt her, and sneaking off in the middle of the night without saying a word was not an acceptable solution. It was the sort of thing his old man would have done. He was better than that.

The gentle sound of his knuckles on wood sounded like a cry of doom.

He listened to the sound of movement in the room. It only occurred to him now that Akane might not have been there. But she was there, thankfully. Unfortunately.

"Who is it?" Her voice contained none of the energy it usually did. It was his fault. It was all his fault. He should have known a long time ago where his heart was. He should never have strung her along, however unintentionally, as he had done. He-

"Who is it?" she repeated once more.

"It's me." The words echoed painfully to his ears. That was a mistake. He should have waited, fled while she didn't know who was there. Now he was trapped.

There was no answer to his response, and after several moments he asked if he could come in.

"NO!" was the tearful reply. And he could hear those tears, the soft sobbing in her voice. Tears of his own welled up in his eyes as he desperately fought them off. It had to be done, he kept telling himself. It had to be done.

"We need to talk."

"There isn't anything to say!" The sounds of sobbing were stronger now. It was almost enough to make Ranma run, and maybe before what had happened on the top of the mountain he might have done it to avoid his own pain, but not now. If he could command near infinite power, then he could force himself to tell Akane the truth. And the words had to pass from his lips.

"Please let me in."

"NO! Stay out!"

He couldn't bring himself to break the door down. Having it as a barrier between them would have to suffice. "I'm sorry, Akane. I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. If there was any way I could change that, I would. But there isn't. I'm...I'm sorry."

"I know." That was almost whispered from directly in front of Ranma. He understood that she must have been pressed right against the door to sound so close. She needed a barrier now too, even though part of her wanted to be close to him as well. He realized that, in a way, it was probably symbolic, though exactly how Ranma couldn't say.

"I don't know what to tell you." The softness in his voice now matched hers. They were so quiet, yet each could hear the other clearly. He could make out her rasping breaths as she tried to control her own voice, just as he did. Yet each failed still.

"You don't need to say anything." He could almost hear the tears fall as she said that. Tears that matched his own. Tears which he would no longer stave off. He would cry for her. He could still do that. He owed her that much, at least.

"I forgive you," she said almost inaudibly. "I forgive you for everything. Go."

"Let me see you just onc-"

"No!" she almost screamed. "Just leave me! I understand. I know you love her. I know it and I love you enough to let go, Ranma Saotome. Do you understand that? I'm letting you go. Our engagement is off. Go to her. Have a good life, but please go now. You can't do anything but hurt me anymore. At least for now."

Tears poured almost as freely as they had on the mountain, though they lacked the ferocity that they possessed on that distant peak. His fingertips brushed along the door, feeling where he envisioned her head rested against it. "I understand. I won't bother you anymore." No other words came to him, though he knew there was still so much more left unsaid. But not now. Maybe never. He would have to live with that.

As he turned to go, he took one last look at the door, and through it to the girl he was leaving behind. "Maybe in a few years?"

"Maybe." He could tell she was still leaning against the door. Perhaps it would be a long time before she moved from it, but whatever course she took, he realized he was no longer a part of it.

Without another word he turned to go. Shutting the door on a part of his life that he would never be able to return to again.

Kasumi still felt exhausted as she lay on her bed. The night before it had taken a great deal of energy, but she was fairly certain she had done the technique correctly and that Cologne's life energy was bolstered, at least for a little while. If Kasumi reinforced the weave almost every day she was certain the elder's life could be extended for at least a few more years. A few, perhaps. Not enough though. There could never be enough.

It really was most peculiar, although she was grateful all the same, that she could do that sort of thing. When Cologne had asked her where she had learned the technique, and how she managed such nearly impossible control, all Kasumi could respond with was, 'it seemed like it was the right thing to do.' She was sure her father had never taught anything like that to her. She wasn't certain where she could have learned anything like that at all. But still, she knew it and was thankful for it. Too bad it was so exhausting, though.

She was about to get up on her own when there was a knock on the door. She told her visitor to enter, and all tiredness passed as she saw who it was.

"Shampoo!" she fairly screamed as she almost flew across the room and embraced her friend in a hug. Even though Kasumi had known she was all right it was still a relief to see the Amazon up and about.

Shampoo's reaction was somewhat different. When she returned the embrace it was with a long hard cry. Kasumi was left momentarily confused by the reaction. "Why are you crying?"

"I d...didn't want to hurt you!" she continued her wailing.

Kasumi forced Shampoo out of the grip and examined her more closely. "Whatever do you mean?"

"I love Ranma! I'm sorry!" Shampoo at last managed to stop crying, though the sniffling continued.

Now Kasumi was truly confused. "Why on earth would you be sorry you love Ranma?"

"Because that means I can't love you that way too." She almost began crying again.

Kasumi still seemed mystified. "That's all right. I'm happy."

Shampoo stopped crying, almost in total shock. How could Kasumi be so passive about everything? "What do you mean, 'I'm happy'?"

Kasumi just seemed to smile back, though perhaps not as easily as she usually did. "You're happy with Ranma, I can see it in your face. You have no idea of how glad that makes me feel."

"But what about you?"

"What about me?" Kasumi said curiously.

"I thought you loved me, when you said what you did before I left for Mount Phoenix."

"I do." Kasumi still did not quite grasp what Shampoo meant.

"Then why aren't you sad?"

Kasumi shook her head. "Oh, Shampoo. When I said that thing about becoming a man and us being together, it was only for your protection. I do love you, don't doubt that, but I've always wanted what would make you most happy. And I can tell just by looking at you that's Ranma. Just because you love him doesn't mean you don't care about me too."

Shampoo looked at her softly. She had expected far more disappointment from her friend. How could she be so forgiving? "But aren't you sad?"

"Of course not," she said happily. "I have a wonderful family. A wonderful friend like you. Everyone is healthy, even if Akane's broken hearted. I'll try to help her as best as I can. I don't know why I wouldn't be happy."

"Maybe," Shampoo began. "Maybe you want someone in your life too."

Kasumi considered that. "I'm sure someday I'll have someone myself. I'll know when I find them. Until then I can enjoy the love I receive from everyone else, just like I always have. I'm quite pleased with everything, especially when compared to almost losing you." She held Shampoo's hand in her own, worry now etched in her face. "I was so afraid of what was happening at that mountain. If you hadn't come back I don't know what I would have done. So if it seems I'm a bit light-hearted about this, it's because I know how close I came to really losing everything. Compared to that, this really isn't all that much. I'm really very grateful things have turned out the way they did."

Shampoo seemed to brighten at that. She had never dared hoped for such forgiveness, even from Kasumi. "You aren't unhappy then?"

"Not being at maximum happiness does not make me unhappy, so no," Kasumi explained softly, then gave Shampoo a soft look. "Do you love me?"

"Always and forever," she answered softly.

"I love you too, always and forever. As long as we have that, that's all that matters." Kasumi embraced Shampoo once more, and this time the hug was much more pleasant for both of them.

It was a little later that Ranma and Shampoo returned to their new quarters, coincidentally arriving at the same time. Shampoo took one look into Ranma's eyes and knew who he had gone to see first.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ranma shook his head. It was all still too fresh. Only time would make the hurting stop, a long time, and there was nothing he could do about it until then. But the pain had to be fought through; there was still much to be done. However, it would wait for a while.

"We have inflicted pain on those we care for," Shampoo said, her voice sounding distant.

Ranma felt the memory of his 'vows' fill him with that statement. Yes. He had. Damn him but he had done exactly that! But it had to be done. The sole consolation he had was reminding himself of what else he had almost lost. He wrapped an arm around Shampoo as both went back to rest some more, the mark of their ordeal still plaguing them.

"We might be able to cure both of your conditions."

Ranma shrugged at that. Cologne had dropped by after they had gotten a little more sleep. He still didn't really trust the old ghoul, in spite of what she had done for them. Besides, he had gotten his hopes up for cures before, and every time his hopes ended up dashed. And with Jusenkyou destroyed...

"This might be our last chance, huh?"

Cologne nodded. "Yes. There shouldn't be any problems. Only Silk and the Guide know of this. So long as you both remain silent I can't see anything going wrong."

The two gave a look to her that said, 'Doom us, why don't you', then afforded glances at one another. It did sound easy. Too easy. Nothing easy ever worked out. If one made a plan for crossing the street, usually something went wrong. And to have something as important as the last chance at a cure, the last sure thing that would allow Shampoo to go back to her people instead of being hunted down, well, both couldn't help but feel scared at that idea.

"Let's cross our fingers," Shampoo said.

"Yeah." Ranma could feel his guts knot up at the idea of losing another chance at a cure, but at the same time some part of him couldn't help but get his hopes up. To admit his love and to never turn into a girl again, it seemed too good to be true.

Cologne excused herself, saying something in Chinese to Shampoo which made her blush. Ranma waited until the elder had gone before asking about the exchange.

"It's nothing you need to worry about."

The smile she gave had the exact opposite effect of what she had wanted. Now he was worried. "What's that supposed to mean?" That got him a wider smile that put him further on edge.

"I'm still very tired from our ordeal. Time for other things later."

"What other things?" Ranma's bewilderment was starting to overwhelm him. Shampoo was becoming more confusing instead of less. That wasn't supposed to happen when you loved someone. They were supposed to be easier to understand. That was the way it worked. Ranma wondered if maybe he should ask his father about how he came to understand his mother.

Instead of verbally answering, she sauntered to the shower, leaving the door open behind her. Warning senses began blaring, telling Ranma it was time to visit the other set of people that he needed to explain things to. He chose not to bother Shampoo and silently left the room, just missing the 'why don't you come in and wash my back? I'm not too tired for that,' question that Shampoo gave.

When she heard no response, she exited the shower and saw the empty room. With great restraint she refrained from smashing anything out of frustration. Ranma was still an enigma to her, and he was getting worse instead of better. At the moment he was easily the most confusing male she had ever met. By far the most, and if things didn't start becoming clearer soon, she was going to pull her hair out by its roots in frustration. Perhaps she needed to talk to someone about men.

Shampoo returned to her room, furious at her great grandmother and Silk. All she had done was ask them that since they were older, wiser, and had more dealings with men, how she could understand males like they did. The duo looked at one another, and then they LAUGHED at her! They didn't even have decency to stop laughing, doing it for five minutes straight until Silk nearly collapsed from lack of oxygen. Shampoo left them rather than have her pride trampled on further. If they wanted to keep it secret, fine! She'd figure it out on her own.

It was two hours later that Ranma returned to the room, the look on his face precluding any further attempts at deciphering the male mind. "What happened?"

"Don't ask!" he growled.

She knew who he had gone to speak with now. She could understand him not wanting to talk with her about Akane. It was difficult for Shampoo to admit even the obvious, but she acknowledged she would be biased about any discussion concerning her former rival. But as to the other half of the problem, and from her point of view, the more difficult obstacle now, that she needed to know.

A sympathetic hand fell on his shoulder. She wanted to share this pain, especially since the situation concerned her as well. "Tell me what your parents said."

A few days before he would have refused the request, but now he inexplicably felt the need to share. "They won't budge. Especially those two idiot fathers. My mother said she'd follow Pop's lead, but him and Mr. Tendo are going on like nothing happened. They said that if I won't marry Akane then I have to marry Kasumi or," he shuddered as he forced himself to say it. "Nabiki. Man even saying that name makes my skin crawl."

"Just ignore it then. They can't force you to marry someone."

Ranma shook his head. "I can't have this hanging over my head. I don't want to alienate Mom, or even Pop." He considered that for a moment. "Though maybe I could live with doing that to Pop if I had to. Nah. I gotta figure out a way to get them to give up their stupid promise. They know damn well I'm not interested in either of the girls that way, and they ain't interested in me either. Heck, I think Kasumi'd sooner marry you than me."

Shampoo gave out a laugh that was far too nervous; a laugh Ranma was too distracted to notice.

"The way I figure it, we'll get cured tomorrow and I'll try talking to them again. Maybe they'll have changed their minds by then." There wasn't an ounce of hope in his voice.

"We'll think of something," she assured him.

"Yeah."

He gently squeezed her hand, then removed it from his shoulder and held it in his own. He gazed deeply into her eyes, and she found herself drowning in his blue orbs. By the gods he could still make her heart race with just a glance. She wondered if the most dangerous thing about Ranma wasn't his charm.

"Shampoo," he said softly as he drew his face closer to hers.

"Yes," she responded huskily, preparing her lips for the inevitable.

"I think..."

"Yes?" she said seductively, her face drawing closer to his.

"I think I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat."

"Ranma, you are still the master of the Saotome School of Ruining a Mood at Any Given Time."

Ranma released her hand and scowled. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means it's time to eat." She grabbed his hand and led him to the mess.

It was in the early hours of the morning that the two departed the ship for the Guide's hut, not informing anyone of where they were going. It was there they were supposed to meet the Guide and get the cure that they so desperately sought. The way to Jusenkyou should have been clear of any dangers. Already each of them was practically shaking with anticipation for what was about to occur.

"Do you think it's going to work?" Shampoo was fearful of allowing her hopes to get up. She had been unable to get any rest the night before, which made her already weakened condition even worse. All she could think about was a chance at a cure. Was her great grandmother correct? If there was some sort of destiny to fulfill, had she somehow done it on the mountain, even if she was unaware of exactly what it was? And even if she did, with Jusenkyou destroyed, would a cure now work?

And what about Ranma? If he was cursed for the same reason, would he at last have the cure he so desperately wanted? She wanted him cured. Not for her sake, she loved either of his forms without reservations, but for his. He still wanted a cure in spite of any acceptance of the curse he had undergone. She could see it in his eyes whenever she said the word 'cure'. Like her, he tried shielding his hope beneath the disappointment in all of the other failed attempts at removing the curse. However, hope still tried to take hold of both of them, force them to wish and raise their expectations for perhaps the last time.

"If this works, I'm burning all of those damn dresses I picked up when I thought I was a girl," he growled.

Shampoo remained silent about how attractive he actually appeared in them. That was not the sort of flattery he would want to hear. "If it works, I'm going to splash myself with cold water until I look like a prune."

"Yeah," Ranma agreed. "I'm going to stand out in the damn rain and just laugh and laugh."

Shampoo looked up to the sky and held out her hand. Ranma stared at her curiously. "Why are you doing that?"

She remained silent, leaving Ranma wondering exactly what was going on with her until he saw the white object fall into her palm, melting almost instantly.

"It's only early fall and it ain't nowhere near cold enough to snow."

Shampoo nodded her head in agreement. "It's never snowed this early in the year. And you're right about the-" she was cut off as an icy wind blew across them.

"Okay, maybe it is cold enough," Ranma began chattering as he noticed that the snow continued to fall.

Shampoo kept looking quizzically at the sky. "You don't suppose this has anything to do with what you did at the mountain?"

"Of course not! I was trying to save you, not get ready for the ski season. This is some kind of natural phenomenon or something. This ain't my fault."

Shampoo accepted the answer as the two set off once more. Within minutes, a light carpet of snow covered the ground, falling too quickly to be melted by the still warm ground. Both figures shivered in the uncomfortable cold, trying to hurry to the Guide's cabin. Hopefully he'd have a fire or something going. It wasn't cold enough to be fatal, but it was unpleasant and made Ranma wish he had at least brought a jacket.

After they had traveled a few more miles, Ranma spoke up. "Does this place feel different to you?"

"Yes." Shampoo nodded her head. "I don't know what, but it does feel different. Almost like there's something missing."

They continued onward, at last cresting a hill, and saw the raw devastation before them. When Silk had described Jusenkyou as being destroyed, they had each assumed that a handful of pools had been demolished and that the place was basically the same as when they had left it lo those many months ago. Nothing could have been further from the truth. The earth itself had been rent as though something huge had been dug out from an earthen grave. Well over three quarters of the pools had been destroyed outright, a broken bamboo pole sticking out from the upturned earth here and there. The remaining springs appeared unchanged, save for the fact most of the unburied poles had been knocked over and now laid upon one another in a disorderly mess.

"It's changed."

Shampoo nodded in agreement. The air of the place was different now. Where once there had been a sort of miasma about the springs, now there was nothing, almost as though the entire place were dead.

As if to show them how right they were, a heron landed in one of the springs and began drinking from it, unaffected by any changes. All that remained was the same bird that had been there before.

"It could be the Spring of Drowned Heron," Shampoo offered, but neither believed it for a moment.

"Our last chance," Ranma said softly to himself as the two headed towards the nearby tiny hut where the Guide and Plum lived. Ranma wondered idly if the Guide was out of work now, and what he would do with himself once it became obvious Jusenkyou was destroyed for good.

The snow at last stopped as they approached the hut. The Guide emerged from the shack as the last snowflake fell to the ground. He waved pleasantly at them and indicated they go inside, where he disappeared before they got there.

Ranma and Shampoo came up to the door and paused. Each stared at one another, mutual looks of concern on each of their faces.

"This is it."

"Yep," Ranma agreed. "A cure. At last."

An uneasy silence was suddenly before them, each too fearful to open the door and take the next step to the final solution to their problems.

"Ranma," Shampoo suddenly burst out. "I don't care if you're cursed!"

"Same goes for me," he assured her. With that out of the way, both laid a single hand on the door and pushed it inward.

Upon entering they saw that there was indeed a fire going on the far side of the room, but that was not what had captured their attention. There were two small barrels in the middle of the room. On one was labeled 'Nanniichuan.' On the other, 'Nyanniichuan.'

The Guide gave them a wide smile. "Here it is, sir and madam. The water you want to make you whole. Now you no more have to worry about changing with your curses. Is the cure you wanted." He stepped forward and to the side a couple of paces, allowing them a clear path, and pointed to the barrels.

They looked at one another again, mutual smiles blossoming on each of their faces. No one had attacked them. No one had gotten there first and used the cursed waters. There wasn't a pack of Amazons waiting for them. No one had stolen the water and held it for ransom. The barrels were just sitting there, waiting for them. Each barrel was clearly marked and they were the correct ones as well. It appeared everything had gone as it should have. Perhaps for the first time in close to a year things finally appeared to be in their favor.

They nodded to one another, hope at last being given free reign. They moved as one and each went to the barrel they wanted. Synchronized, they each took the tops off of their small barrels and peered inside. Clear water was indeed all that each contained. There was only one more thing left.

"It looks like this is it," Ranma said.

Shampoo nodded. "Let's use them quick, before something bad happens."

"Right," Ranma agreed.

Each one held their respective barrels over their heads, and with one last glance at one another, dumped the water over their heads.

Ranma-chan stared in shock at the black-haired boy before her.

Shampoo-kun stared in shock at the red-haired girl before him.

"It didn't work!" Ranma-chan's voice took on an almost wailing quality. She had been so certain she had at last found a cure, but to be denied release from her curse once more, when she had been so clo-

A blow from a metal object struck Ranma-chan hard in the back of her skull, sending her to the floor instantly. Her head made a loud thump as it bounced off of the floor as she hit. Just barely she heard the cry of pain from Shampoo-kun as his form landed next to hers a moment later. Ranma-chan was just bringing her head around to focus on the attacker when the long metal rod connected with the front of her face, stunning her once again. She was just barely aware of the sound of several other dull thuds as she got on her hands and knees, trying to regain a vertical base. It was while she was in that position that a foot caught her directly in the solar plexus, winding her. There was no respite as she felt herself picked up by a pair of hands and lifted off of the ground. She had just managed to get a hand on her opponents wrist when she found her body tossed hard into a far wall, hurting her even worse than before.

It shouldn't have been that way, she knew it deep down inside, but bringing back Shampoo had taken everything out of her. Even with the two days of rest it had been nowhere near enough to regain her chi levels or her tremendous endurance. She was next to helpless from the onslaught of the attacker, his blows having a far greater effect than they should have. Still, her spirit was intact, and she brought her head up to see her assailant. What she saw stunned her.

It was the Jusenkyou Guide himself.

She stared at him in disbelief once more. He held a long metal pry bar, not a designed weapon but a makeshift one, in his hand and lashed out at the still prone Shampoo-kun. A blow connected with the small of his back as the youth cried out in agony. The Guide tossed the bar aside and effortlessly picked up Shampoo-kun. The man took a moment to spit into the Amazon's face before throwing him into a far wall.

Rage filled Ranma-chan as she at last regained her footing. "Leave her alone!" She found enough strength to stagger forward towards him.

The Guide looked at Ranma-chan and gave a wide smile once more. A far more malevolent one than what he had given at the door. "Oh, honored sir, it seem the magic water no work on you. Too bad."

"Why are you doing this?" she said as she warily circled her opponent. Neither she nor Shampoo had done anything to the Guide. Ever. Could it have been some attempt at revenge for the destruction of Jusenkyou, even though they had had nothing to do with it?

"You mean you not figure it out, honored sir?" The smile broadened.

"Tell me!" Ranma-chan snarled as she prepared to leap at her opponent.

"If you insist."

Ranma-chan's eyes widened. The Guide's voice had changed from the sing-song pidgin it usually spoke to a deeper baritone that spoke with flawless Japanese. But the worst part was the new voice itself. It couldn't be!

The muscles on the Guide's face seemed to contort. Suddenly his whole form shifted as he grew nearly a foot in height. The short dumpy man was replaced, enlarged to that of an enormous man with a massively muscled chest and huge arms and legs, while his features took on an all too familiar cast.

"Gemma!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Special Thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Bloodblade  
Jurai-Knight  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Wade Tritschler


	40. The Breaking of the Circle

Prologue

For want of a nail  
the shoe was lost,

for want of a shoe  
the horse was lost,

for want of a horse  
the knight was lost,

for want of a knight  
the battle was lost.

So it was a kingdom  
was lost...

...all for the  
want of a nail.

Colloquial adaptation of a  
verse by George Herbert  
(Jacula Prudentum 1651)

All around Happosai there appeared to be nothing but an endless void. It was not as though the master were truly afraid, but it reminded him all too much of the cave he had been sealed in for nearly a decade. In many ways it was worse. There was an absence of everything. There was no noise, nothing to touch, and no other physical sensations. He couldn't even smell anything. It was just the lack of any stimulus at all that was boring him to distraction.

The only pleasant thing about the experience were the flashbacks he had had. The beautiful women of the past had been so numerous that even he had lost track of how many cuties there had been throughout his life. And then there was his second passion: the lingerie. Silky beauties had flooded his memories as well, several of his favorite pieces standing out in his mind. Teaching martial arts hadn't been so bad either. Especially when it came to fondling his favorite pair of breas...rather, he meant teaching his favorite pupil, Ranma. It was such a joy that a man in his twilight years could have so many bringing such happiness into his life.

He paused in his reminiscing to try to figure out why he was in the void. The last thing he remembered was saving all of the cuties in the world by screwing up Maelstrom's wish. Then he had had a heart attack and the flashbacks began.

"Why of course!" he said, smacking his fist into an open palm. "That must mean I'm-"

"Dead," a sultry voice called out from Happosai's left.

The old one turned in the direction of the voice to gaze upon his unexpected companion. His eyes nearly popped out of his skull when he saw the beauty before him. She was ravishing and tall, with skin as white as alabaster and a long main of flowing white hair that cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. She wore a tight black top and bottoms that covered only as much as any bikini. Tiny skulls adorned several places on both, and she wore black boots that molded themselves perfectly with her long, shapely legs. And the proportions of the woman were inhuman, from her enormous bust and narrow waist, right down to her washboard flat stomach. And those pupiless white eyes stared at him as though he were the only being in existence, looking upon him with a smug glare.

Happosai composed himself. "I am dead, aren't I?"

"Indeed," the woman answered him.

He glared and pointed an accusing finger at her. "That means you're..."

"Death," she finished for him. "And that means you are in my-"

*GLOMP*

"-cleavage." 'Lady' Death looked curiously at the creature now nestled in her generous bosom. "What do you think you're doing?"

"So soft, so cold, yet so wonderful," was Happosai's only response as he moved his head up and down, making as much surface contact as he could.

Death now looked at Happosai in confusion. "Don't you understand? I am the conceptual entity in charge of taking souls to the realms beyond. A thing of vast power. One of the primal forces in the universe. And you are...groping me."

"Don't worry," Happosai murmured happily from his position. "I won't hold it against you."

Death looked down at the spirit that continued clutching her bosom. "God was right. You are the greatest pervert that has ever lived."

"Thanks," he said as he continued to glomp away.

Death sighed, making Happosai all the more happy at the expansion. That pleasurable sound was all she needed to make her next decision.

"I think you've adapted to the idea of being dead quite well," Death said as a gateway of light appeared before her. "It's lucky for you Heaven understands sacrifice. Otherwise you would've gone somewhere less...nice. Off you go."

Happosai didn't even bother to pry his face out of the cleavage.

"I said you can go."

He still didn't move.

"Look, women!"

Happosai at last pulled his face out of her bosom and turned to look in the light. It had been no lie. Before him lay clouds filled with some of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen. He was gone in an instant.

"SWEETO!"

*GLOMP*

"Help! I'm being molested!"

"Ahh! We're being invaded by demons!"

"Call out a squad of Spawn Hunters. We're under attack!"

"It looks more like a bug to me! Let me at him!"

*BAP*

"Nice shot, Skuld."

*SNIFF* "Is that anyway to treat a kindly old man?"

"Oh no! You are an old man. I'm sorry! I thought you were a bug."

"That's okay. A sweet little creature such as yourself should... HOT MAMA!"

*GLOMP*

"Urd, there seems to be a pervert attached to your chest."

"Hmm. He seems kind of familiar. Happosai, right?"

"Wait a minute! I know you! Back around twenty eight, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was. And do you remember what I said I would do to you if you ever came near me again?"

"You said you'd-"

*ZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP*

Death closed the gateway at that point, shutting out the cries of pain that followed. Maybe Heaven was closer to Hell for Happosai than she had thought. At least the matter was thankfully out of her hands. All the problems now belonged under Heaven's jurisdiction, allowing Death to wonder if that realm was ready for the situation. Certainly it was unlikely that it was prepared for a pervert of that magnitude.

With a sigh, she turned away. Maybe it was time to get an avatar, like so many other conceptual entities seemed to possess, and avoid a lot of hassles. And thinking of which, there was someone with whom she was going to have to put in a 'personal' appearance when she visited...

"The Protector has been saved," The Seer informed Lord Alderan.

It took every ounce of restraint he possessed not to hug the revered figure before him. So long as the Earth remained intact the one who was prophesied would come at his appointed time and save the empire. At least that was what all of the religious texts claimed. And with The Seer herself backing up the claim...well that was good enough for him.

The Seer turned towards the form of the prostrated man before her and spoke. "I will wait in my chambers until I am ready to cross The Great Divide once more." And with that she turned on her heel and left the room.

She continued on to the place set aside for her own personal use. Her path was straight, never meandering or pausing to look down some side passage. She went from Point A to Point B, just as she had always done for all but thirteen years of her existence. She knew all that could happen, so why consider paths she could never take?

The Seer entered the plain, stone chamber, sat down upon the simple rock chair that had been built specifically for her own form, and waited. In one week's time she would rise and travel to a place called Ranoth. Her destiny was to inform a simple farmer to leave his fields and take up the sword for his people. In twenty years time he would train the boy who would most likely unite his planet under one rule, at least he would when she returned to that world forty-five years later. Such was the path that lay before her as she tried to ensure the course that would most likely prolong the most possibilities of Fate's web.

She sat unmoving, aware of the fact she would visitors at most three times before she left. The first that could make an appearance would be in four days time, depending on what he told his wife at dinner the next evening. Being aware of everyone's destiny left no room for surprises.

"There are questions I need answered, Seer."

The Seer fell out of her chair in shock. She turned to see a nine foot tall figure, adorned in completely black robes, standing behind the chair as though it had appeared from out of nowhere. The hood was pulled forward so that its entire face was shrouded in impenetrable darkness, like the upper portions of the Seer's own face. The only thing that was different were the two red glows that were at the place were eyes should have been.

"Wh...who?' was all she could get out.

"Can you not guess?" it said in a raspy voice.

The voice, despite its menacing tone, served to relax her. She now knew who her mysterious visitor was. It all made sense, really. Conceptual entities, as well as their agents, had the ability to mask themselves from Fate, and its tool, the Seer herself, when they so chose.

A smile filled with hope erupted in her face. "Is it at last my time?"

"No," Death answered. "Your time will come when it comes."

Her shoulders slumped forward in defeat. How tragic that she could see anyone's possible end but her own.

"I have questions for you," Death said bluntly as he looked into her eyes, piercing the darkness few others could.

"Why don't you ask Fate directly?" she said aloud. Death certainly had the ability to do that. Any conceptual entity could confront another one. Technically Death ranked higher than Fate in the hierarchy, making it highly unlikely any request would be denied.

"Because I choose to talk to you," Death responded, and the Seer knew she would have to answer the questions as best as she could.

"Why was I not informed of the possible resurrection of Xian Pu?"

So that was what the meeting was about. At least she had an answer for that. "That was an oversight. Recent events had caused quite an upheaval with Fate recently. With the survival of the Shogun of the Dark, Maelstrom's reawakening had become a distinct possibility. If Maelstrom had successfully awakened and made his wish without interference, the odds were very good that he would have survived the next five thousand years and made another wish. The second wish would have made him a true god, however he would not have dealt with his newfound abilities very well. He would have been driven insane from the experience in less than two thousand years. After that point there was a substantial chance he would have obliterated the entire universe within the next twenty thousand years. There was a six percent chance of total obliteration. A terrible risk that could bring about the end of Fate itself."

Death nodded his head, as much in understanding as an indication she should continue.

"Fate had to take steps to ensure that path would not come to pass." The Seer let out a sigh of relief. "The best chance to prevent it was to somehow engineer the death of the Shogun of the Dark. To this end I employed many different schemes to insure such a course, including the most useful, the magical lifeform called Jusenkyou."

"I know that thing," Death informed her. "It died recently."

"Yes. That was its irrevocable fate after the Great Grond's death. Long ago I gave it the ability to see all of the paths that might affect its existence. In turn, it provided a means for which to prolong most of the pathways that aided in preserving existence. One of those paths it was supposed to take was influencing the death of the Shogun of the Dark. There was less than a one out of thousand chance of the Shogun's survival."

"But he survived until a little while ago." Death's voice carried no emotion as it simply stated facts once again.

The Seer hesitated. The fact that there was no indication that this conversation should even be taking place disturbed her. She was supposed to know everything. "Yes. Well, unlikely things happen all the time."

"You still have not told me about Xian Pu's survival."

"I was getting to that." The longer the conversation went, the more uncomfortable the Seer felt. Best to finish up as quickly as she could. "When Jusenkyou realized the Shogun survived, it employed a number of curses to affect those that might disrupt the plans of the Shogun. All had poor chances of success, but one of the worst was one that, while not enabling Jusenkyou to survive, could avenge its destruction afterward. So it cursed Xian Pu on the offhand chance she would be in the right place at the right time to prevent Maelstrom from gaining his power. It really was the last chance to change the course Maelstrom was trying to set for himself before his wish. Any attempts at preventing his second wish for power would have been even more dismal. It all came down to her knocking Gemma into the pit, which then assured that Happosai alone would be present with Maelstrom and ruin any chances of achieving ultimate power. If she had failed, Happosai would have been incapacitated, the Shogun would have still been alive upon completion of the spell, and he would have been the one the Dragon King talked to, ensuring Maelstrom's rise to power.

"But that did not happen, as impossible as it seems. The odds of Xian Pu making it that far were extraordinary. There were more than a dozen times it would have been far more likely that she would have been prevented from traveling to China or killed before arriving at Mount Phoenix and her inevitable death. There were even a couple of occasions where her path was obscured by an area of gray and I could not see what would happen. I have yet to figure out that unexplained phenomena, but in spite of that she somehow ended up at Mount Phoenix anyway. Quite astounding, really."

"You still have not yet told me why I was not informed of her resurrection," Death reminded her.

"Sorry. The Web of Fate rarely lends itself to simple explanations. As terrible as the chances were that Xian Pu would arrive at Mount Phoenix to die, the odds of Ranma Saotome actually succeeding in reviving her were infinitesimally smaller. That he should have survived his fight with Gemma, resolved himself to try to bring her back, used the Focus in such a way as to allow it to find the Heart of the Earth, not be consumed by the power he wielded, and that his love for her was strong enough to be willing to risk everything was as near to impossible as could be. It was so obscure that Fate did not deem it worth mentioning since so many other plans had to be laid to prevent Maelstrom's rise to power."

"Yet it did happen," Death said, the voice taking on a more hollow quality.

"Ah, yes. It did, didn't it?" The Seer answered nervously.

The red glow from under the hood seemed to bore straight into the Seer. "I will be informed of every possible resurrection, no matter how small the chance will be. I will not be caught off guard again. Releasing an essence back to life is bad enough, but to have to do it unprepared is unacceptable to me."

The tone Death used brooked no argument. The Seer would inform Fate of the command.

"By the way," Death said in less menacing tones. "The gray areas were caused by Oblivion's agent, the thing calling itself Mr. Domino. It has been making a nuisance of itself of late by passing through my realm. No doubt it was trying to shift the Web of Fate towards universal obliteration."

"I don't see how," The Seer said doubtfully. "Oblivion should have no knowledge of its part, save when Fate informs it of when the pattern has already moved to a course which allows Oblivion to act."

"Nevertheless, that appears to be what happened." Death turned away. "Unless the Almighty himself has authorized it, Oblivion overstepped its boundaries. There will be a price to pay for that."

And with that Death vanished, leaving the Seer alone with only silence as her companion once again. However the situation was going to be dealt with was beyond her concerns; the forces of the universe did as they willed. The only thing that truly bothered her was Oblivion's seemingly detailed knowledge of the Web of Fate. The boundaries were clear between the conceptual entities, and technically only opposites like Chaos and Order, or Eternity and Death could 'disagree' with one another as each vied for control over its realm of influence. Oblivion's opposite was Infinity, not Fate, so how had it gained access to what could be?

It mattered little. What would be would be, and she had to travel in a week. After four thousand years through a mind that gauged time as any mortal would, it would pass far more quickly than she cared. Then it would be on to the next destination. And then the next. And then the next...

The Realm of Oblivion:

The thing that called itself 'Mr. Domino' peered into the vast nothingness that was Oblivion. He had come back from that lack of existence to serve that which had destroyed him when he had been, well, non-obliterated, for lack of a better term. He had believed that having a form was everything, then he learned what it meant to cease to exist, and now quite willingly served that force which had gone on to claim him. Now he was an avatar of one of the forces that made the universe work. He was an elaborate tool, just like he had been when he had truly been alive. The more things change...

The only reason he had been allowed to exist again was because he had a use to the conceptual entity. A unique viewpoint on the totality of the future that only he and one other that still lived held. All the others that came before him, all of those others that had been given the dubious 'gift' he had been granted, were dead. Now there was one alive that possessed it and no other. He should not still have had the vision, but he did. No doubt some kind of loophole in the way the universe worked.

Obliteration, ironically, gave him a second chance, and now that leftover talent served one who could conceivably destroy everything. It didn't matter though. What Mr. Domino did now was not all that different from what he did before, save that he was more powerful.

Yes. Being The Seer in his previous existence had been difficult. Being an agent of Oblivion was far easier. Until now. When he would have to explain what had happened.

"I'm afraid the plan didn't work after all. Two of the pawns on the board managed to overcome the king," he said to the void before him. His mind pictured his form of communication as speech, but that wasn't true. It was just his interpretation of how he passed the information to Oblivion. Speaking was somehow reassuring. And as to the 'pawns,' meaning Shampoo and Happosai, and the 'king', meaning Maelstrom, Oblivion understood that as well.

"We shall have to try again," he continued. "There won't be an opportunity as hopeful as this one in a while, but we do have as much time as we need to achieve your desires. There will be other chances."

Oblivion must not have been too displeased; Mr. Domino still existed.

The 'game' involving Maelstrom might have been over, but Domino had made one final move before moving on to start another game somewhere else across the universe. He cleared his throat to mention it to his master. "I will let you know that, in a gesture of petty vengeance, I have probably engineered the death of two of the crucial elements that foiled the plan. I couldn't work in an obliteration for them, but neither of their paths take them near any such possibilities. Sorry."

Still he existed. Oblivion was obviously not displeased with that action either. Of course, Mr. Domino's assistance in directing Herb's future course of action might be irrelevant. After all, that was just one thread that the agent of Oblivion had helped to influence. There was a good chance that Shampoo and Ranma would die on their own without Domino's interference. It seemed the odds of their lives being intertwined with the possibility of death were plentiful. In fact, they were in the middle of one such junction now. Life on one path, death on the other. An even chance in this case. It all fell to who made the 'correct' choice. Would it be Shampoo and Ranma, or would it be...

"Gemma!" Ranma shouted out in shock and anger.

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Chapter 40

The Breaking of the Circle

All C+C is desired. You can contact me at:  
sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters or any from other series mentioned in this story.

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also put it on his webpage at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Slashley also has it at:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Surprise." Gemma grinned in return.

The surprise of who her opponent truly was left an opening for Gemma to exploit. He was on Ranma-chan in an instant with a series of fists and kicks into the smaller girl's body. Ranma-chan felt each blow impact painfully into her ribs and chest. The few blocks she managed were inconsequential as Gemma used his superior strength to power through her defense. Just as quickly as the attack had begun it stopped, leaving a horribly beaten Ranma-chan to stare at the space where her attacker had been. Immediately she saw why the Devil's attack had stopped so abruptly.

Shampoo-kun had regained his footing and tried to attack Gemma. The first couple blows landed solidly and were delivered with enough force to catch Gemma's attention. Like Ranma-chan, Shampoo-kun was still drained from coming back from the dead. He moved far too slowly, and the pain from Gemma's initial strikes hurt more than they would have under any other circumstances. The high kick he leveled at Gemma's head was easily caught, and the Devil used his superior leverage to throw the Amazon into the floor with enough force to break several of the floorboards.

Ranma-chan fought through her own pain and connected with a punch into the kidneys. The redhead was quick enough to avoid the first backfist thrown at her, and followed up with a kick into Gemma's stomach. Far from enough to slow him down, Gemma struck out once again, catching Ranma-chan fully in her left breast with a punch. There was no chance to follow up as Shampoo-kun was upon him again, trying to punch him in the throat.

Gemma blocked the attack and hit the Amazon in the face once more. He was delighted to see blood flowing from a cut above the eye from one of the first attacks with the metal rod. He pulled his punch as he struck Shampoo-kun in the same spot that the open wound was, intending not to knock his opponent out, but to simply cause the blood to flow more freely. The more blood spilled, the better.

Gemma stood back a moment to evaluate the condition of his two opponents. Both were little more than pale shadows of the duo he had fought in the halls of the mountain. He probably need not have bothered with disguising himself, but it had been such a joy to see the look of shock and defeat in their eyes from the ineffectual nature of the 'cursed water.' Now he had a chance to revel in his victory over his opponents. They were going to know true pain before he killed them.

"You're probably wondering how I survived that mountain being blown up." He allowed Shampoo-kun to hit him once in the face. No need to crush hope too quickly. "It wasn't easy. I was falling quite a ways, and having Zakura's heart blow up once I hit probably would have kept me from reforming for close to ten minutes, and that's not to mention how annoying it would have been to be buried alive."

He allowed Shampoo-kun to connect two more times, interrupting the explanation, before kicking the Amazon in the chest and throwing him against a far wall once again. "I had no intention of being buried one moment longer than I had to. I already went through that particular pleasure once. Never again." He dodged a kick by Ranma-chan and afforded her a few blows. "I realized as I was falling, that it would be far better to get rid of that heart beforehand. So rather than impact with it, I threw it to the bottom of the pit before I crashed. The explosion actually served to slow down my decent somewhat. And more importantly, it blew up a side of that damned pit. The hole was large enough to allow me, once I healed the broken bones, into the corridors of the mountain itself. By that time I sensed something was going wrong, and chose to exit the mountain rather than risk being buried alive."

He snapped a punch to Ranma-chan's head, getting her out of the way just in time to deal with the returning Amazon. "By the time I got out of the mountain, I saw the energy storm above it. I decided to gain some distance until I could see what was really going on. I was several miles away when the mountain itself exploded. Quite impressive, really." He said the last through gritted teeth and struck Shampoo-kun with a number of punches and kicks. Gemma took note of how pathetic the Amazon's defenses were. Both he and Ranma-chan were little more than insignificant gnats now, and each was getting slower by the second. They didn't even have enough left to retort to his bragging.

Anger began to fill his veins. It was time to really punish them, for their deeds. He ignored Shampoo-kun for a moment to strike Ranma-chan with a combination of blows that left her prone on the floor.

Gemma then turned to his remaining opponent with his full anger; the one truly worthy of all of the pain he was about to inflict. "You managed to destroy everything! I could have ruled Japan!" He deflected the painfully slow combination of blows aimed at him from the Amazon. "You are the one responsible! If you hadn't tackled me into that damn abyss, I would have crushed the heart, blown all of you up, the Shogun's plan would have gone off without a hitch, and I'd be lording it over the fools in charge there now. But no!" He unleashed a full strength punch at Shampoo-kun, powering right through the attempted block and causing the Amazon to go down to one knee. "You ruined everything! Now I'll get my pound of flesh."

"Shogun...mad," Shampoo-kun got out through a nearly broken jaw. "Wanted... everyone dead."

"Then allow me to admit you did me a favor and repent my ways." Gemma bowed before Shampoo-kun, surprising the Amazon for a moment. Had Gemma really believed him, as impossible as it seemed?

What obscure wishes he had were answered when Gemma unleashed yet another blow into Shampoo-kun's chest. He delighted at the expression of pain the youth gave at the blow. "For some reason I find that difficult to believe. And even if it were true, I would have dealt with him in time. But now we'll never know since you killed him!"

The upraised fist Gemma had never connected with its intended target as a pair of hands slammed into both sides of his head, directly over the ears. The pressure change caused his eardrums to explode, stunning him for a moment.

"I'll kill you!" Ranma-chan spun Gemma around, unleashing a savage attack. She tried not to think as she reached up and drove her finger into Gemma's eyes, then brought a fist into his throat, crushing his windpipe. She concentrated on what the last Devil of Kimone was doing to Shampoo-kun. No mercy. Ranma-chan knew she had to show no mercy. The animal didn't deserve any. But when she caught sight of his injuries she paused for just a moment, disgusted as she saw the ruin the Devil's face had become.

That opening was all Gemma needed as he blindly lashed out and struck Ranma-chan in the side, driving her back and allowing him the moments he needed to heal the wounds. "That's it," he said as he brought about a series of attacks that left her nearly unconscious on the floor.

"As to what I am doing here." He paused a moment to look over his handiwork. "It was nothing more than luck that I came across that Guide on his way from the mountain. When I asked him what he was up to, he was kind enough to explain the situation to me, with a little persuasion, anyway. He was so informative I decided to let him live. And once I heard about the curses, I knew it was you he was getting the cure for. So I took his place and substituted ordinary water in the stead of the magical. Surprising, wasn't it?"

It was time to finish things up. Once more he turned to Shampoo-kun and picked him up, hurling the boy into a pile of shelves, which then collapsed on top of Shampoo-kun's nearly unconscious form. Weakly, the Amazon tried to move the shelves, but they wouldn't budge. Gemma allowed the boy to see the grim smile that grew on the Devil's face.

Once again Gemma moved to Ranma-chan. He picked her up by the throat, just as he had done in the mountain before. The smaller girl fought back weakly, but Gemma shook the blows off with little effort. He looked to Shampoo-kun's struggling form as the girl in his grasp continued to struggle.

"Watch as the love of your life dies before your eyes while you lie there, helpless. Know that in defeating me, you assured a painful death for you and your loved ones. I'll hunt them down and kill them all one by one. Thanks to you, I now have the time to do it!"

He could have broken Ranma-chan's neck with ease, but the death had to be delivered slowly. Shampoo-kun had to be made to watch his lover die by inches. Gemma had to show him the pain he felt at being denied his dreams of conquest.

Ranma-chan struggled helplessly in Gemma's grasp. Slowly the vice that was Gemma's grip grew tighter, cutting off the flow of air into her lungs. It was exactly like back in Mount Phoenix, only worse. She was out of strength and too weak to mount any kind of offense. There was no leverage to be had, no way of forcing Gemma to release his grip. Hopelessness began to overwhelm her.

Inspiration flashed as it occurred to Ranma-chan that there might be a chance. Her own chi was practically gone, but she had managed to draw chi from the earth before. Perhaps it would work again. It was the only option she could think of.

As she tried to remember what it was she had done before to gain that power, spots began to dance before her eyes. Oxygen deprivation was beginning to take its toll as her concentration began to falter. She was uncertain of exactly what she was doing, but her senses seemed to shift as she began to feel all of the chi around her. From the land itself was nothing more than a dull glow, but from Gemma, that was an altogether different case. He was bursting to the seams with chi, appearing almost like a shining star to Ranma-chan's altered senses. It made sense, considering Gemma could regenerate almost instantly from any wound. His chi had to have been what 'fueled' the ability. But there was a sense of unchecked fury to it. It ran wild and uncontrolled through his body.

There was hope then. If Ranma-chan could steal some from Gemma, she might have a chance. There was one point on the Devil that was brighter than the others. It was hard to tell if it was real or if it was one of the spots coming from the lack of oxygen. She had precious few moments before there would be no strength left to act. Then darkness would follow, a darkness that would never end.

Concentrating was becoming impossible, so she focused her chi in such a way that she believed it might somehow transfer some of Gemma's into her. She focused the power on her right hand and brought it forward, trying with what little strength remained to hit the spot in the middle of Gemma's chest. The first blow struck home, yet nothing happened. Instinctively Ranma-chan knew it had not been powerful enough, so she tried harder, the palm thrust connecting on target. Still nothing happened.

It was useless. Without any leverage she would never be able to hit with enough force to affect Gemma. And as that last thought went through her mind, the world went back.

A cry of pain cut through the darkness and oxygen flooded Ranma-chan's lungs once more. Vision returned as she found herself slumped on her hands and knees to the ground, gasping for more air. The cry had come from Gemma, whose arms were clutching at something on his back.

The move left Gemma wide open for the attack. Ranma-chan summoned all of her remaining strength, forcing the remaining chi she could spare to her hand as she thrust forward, hoping to hit the spot and reenergize herself.

For the third time the blow hit the mark. She left her hand on Gemma's chest, waiting for the flow of chi to go from the large man to her...

...and received a backfist to the face for her troubles, sending her sprawling next to Shampoo-kun.

With a grunt of pain, Ranma-chan regained her feet, placing herself between the still pinned Shampoo-kun and Gemma. There was nothing else she could do now. She had no more strength left to even throw a punch. There were no more options.

Gemma at last stopped writhing and removed the cause of his pain. It was a long metal spike, the kind that was used to stake things to the ground, that Shampoo-kun had thrown from his prone position. The move that had served to release Ranma-chan from the Devil's grip now served only to add fuel to the Devil's anger.

Gemma held the spike before him as he brought his hand up to the spot Ranma-chan had struck. "Since you like to spear things so much, I think I'll use this to pin you to the ground," Gemma threatened. "Then you can watch as I break your girl's limbs one at a time. Won't that be ni-"

Gemma stopped abruptly as he began to scratch wildly at the spot Ranma-chan had struck him. At first he had not realized he had been itching at it, but now minor irritation had been replaced by a burning sensation within the chest itself. It took Gemma a moment to realize what the cause of the problem had originally been.

"YOU!" he shouted. "What did you do to me?!"

Ranma-chan was at a loss. What she had tried to do didn't work. So what was Gemma complaining about?

Gemma took a step forward, pure rage smoldering in his eyes. "You will undo it now. or I'l-" the rest of the threat was cut off as by a scream of pure agony as blue fire suddenly erupted from Gemma's chest.

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun both looked on with a mix of revulsion and fascination. The blue fire slowly increased in size, causing Gemma to howl out even louder as he began flailing around, out of control. Both of the youths could see that the flames were increasing in size and spreading outward, and that the hole that was starting to eat away at Gemma's chest was not healing as had so many other injuries from the past had.

"What did you do to him?" Shampoo-kun asked, his eyes riveted to the spectacle before him.

"I'm not sure," Ranma-chan said as she continued to stare at Gemma's mad dance of suffering at the far side of the cabin. To her, it felt surreal, as though she were watching the terrible scene through someone else's eyes. "I hit him in a spot to draw off chi from him to me, but I was only guessing at what I was doing. I think maybe I messed up. Maybe instead of drawing it off, I reversed it and pushed it inside of him and somehow fooled his body into thinking his chi was being drained off. Now he's trying to replace stuff that-"

"Isn't going anywhere, which is overloading him, burning him out faster than he can heal it," Shampoo-kun finished as he continued to watch the scene. That explanation sounded right to him, even if it was only a guess. And, in truth, what difference did it really make? Gemma was dying a well deserved death, and that was all that mattered.

The duo noticed Gemma had grown quiet, somehow containing his screams even as the fire ate away at his body. They could see tears of pain streaming from his eyes as he scratched at his chest, burning his hands even as he attempted to quench a fire that could not be put out. His hands fell away from the rising chi fires and Gemma arched his body back in continued agony. Through the flames there was now a hole clear through the Devil, allowing both of the youths to see right through him. Despite the sickening sight, both continued to watch on, transfixed. They, like Gemma, knew it was over. His own powers, which had saved him on occasions too numerous to mention, were now responsible for his death.

Gemma almost seemed to fly as he hurled his burning body into a pile of firewood that was stacked next to the fireplace, opposite from where Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun were. Grunts of pain issued forth from Gemma as he seemed to burrow through the pile, as though it would grant him some form of relief. The duo watched on, wondering if Gemma had finally gone mad from the pain, when a cry of triumph came from the Devil.

The couple witnessed the absolute madness in Gemma's eyes as he lifted two small barrels, that he had dug out from their hiding place in the pile, high above his head. "YOU MAY HAVE DEFEATED ME, BUT YOU'LL NEVER LOOK UPON THIS DAY WITH ANYTHING OTHER THAN SORROW!"

Ranma-chan stared on in confusion, but Shampoo-kun understood immediately what Gemma had meant. "Ranma! The barrels! They're-"

The rest was cut off be Gemma's shout of insane triumph. "I SWEAR UPON MY DYING BREATH THAT YOU WILL BE CURSED FROM NOW UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE!"

With his curse delivered, he brought the barrels of Nynnaiichuan and Nanniichuan together, splintering them into a thousand pieces and sending their contents spilling to the ground. Immediately the waters trickled through the floorboards and were absorbed into the earth below, disappearing from sight forever.

Gemma fell over, crashing to the ground, motionless. His eyes stared off into nothingness as the blue flames continued to consume his entire body leaving nothing, not even ashes, behind.

The remaining couple stood in mute horror at the scene before them. Neither spoke nor moved as they stared at the shattered remains of the barrels. Long after the last of Gemma burned away they continued to gaze at the scene of carnage.

How much time had passed, neither could say. It was Shampoo-kun who at last broke the silence, asking Ranma-chan to help free him from the fallen shelves. Ranma-chan shook her head once, finally snapping back to reality.

Once the shelves were removed, the shorter girl took a moment to examine her companion more closely. There was little in the way of outward signs of injury, in spite of the beating he had suffered. "Are you all right?"

"Yes. I don't think anything's broken. How about you?"

"Fine," Ranma-chan said distantly.

Shampoo-kun became concerned at the girl's behavior. That Ranma-chan was disturbed by the loss of Nanniichuan was certain, but there seemed to be something else underlying that as well. Instead of looking at where the barrels had crashed, she was staring at where Gemma had been before being disintegrated by the flames. The Amazon thought about it, and was sure he figured out what it was. "You had to do it, Ranma."

Slowly the redhead nodded. "He was going to kill you. Kill us. He almost did. There wasn't any other choice. He didn't leave me any other choice."

"And even with that, it still bothers you," Shampoo-kun said sympathetically.

Ranma-chan got a strange look in her eyes. "Yeah, but not as much as I thought it would. I mean, you know, killing someone. There have been times when I thought about when it might happen, after all of the fights I've been in you can't help but be afraid of a mistake. It almost happened a couple of times." Including that occasion with Kodachi and the poison. He had almost done it then. If she hadn't cured Shampoo, he might have gone through with the threat. He wasn't sure then. "I kind of thought I'd be more, I dunno, sad about doing it. But I'm not. I think maybe that scares me more."

Shampoo-kun placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Great Grandmother told me that so long as you are afraid of not caring, then you have nothing to fear. When you lose that fear, then you have lost everything."

The black-haired boy stared at where Gemma had fallen. "He was insane, hungered for power, nearly indestructible, and all of his rage was directed against us. If you hadn't stopped him now, he would have come after us later. If we sealed him away somewhere while he was still alive, he would have broken out eventually; Happosai showed us how successfully someone like Gemma could be contained. Even if it took a hundred years, he would have eventually gotten out. We would have been doing nothing more than giving the problem to someone else. He had to be stopped, Ranma. Otherwise he would have killed many others, and those deaths would have been our responsibility because we could have prevented them. Would you want the deaths of others on your hands?"

"I don't want any deaths in my hands," Ranma-chan answered softly. "But you're right. I had to do it. I just wish there had been some other way. I just got to deal with it once it sinks in."

A hand found its way into hers. "I'll help you deal with it."

Ranma-chan looked into Shampoo-kun's eyes, an understanding finally taking place within the girl. Until then she had always taken the point of view she would be there for Shampoo when the Amazon needed help, but now she realized it worked both ways. Ranma-chan really had someone that would be there for her as well, no matter what. It was a comforting thought that helped ease some of the pain.

She took a deep breath, looking over the hut one last time. No. There were no other barrels lying around, not that she had believed there would be. The Guide had said that there was only one barrel of each kind of spring in storage.

"We need to get out of here," she said abruptly. There was now a need to leave the place where she had killed someone, no matter the fact that there had been no other choice. "We gotta tell the others what happened here. About Gemma not coming back, and," he gave a pained expression towards Shampoo-kun. "about how we ain't cured." That was probably some kind of buffer against too much self-recrimination over his actions. Gemma had ruined the cure, taking an opportunity to hurt Ranma-chan one last time before the end.

Shampoo-kun nodded sadly, taking one last look around the hut as well. There was no longer any reason to stay, and now some final decisions were going to have to be made. He silently cursed Gemma for ruining everything.

"I'm never going to be able to go back to my people," Shampoo-kun said softly.

Ranma-chan saw the pain in the Amazon's eyes. That cut through her own pain. She hadn't really considered how not getting the cure would affect Shampoo-kun. Something to cheer Shampoo-kun up occurred to her. "Yeah, maybe, but you got me instead. I'd say that's a better than even trade."

Shampoo-kun shot a look towards Ranma-chan. She had been serious. He could tell by the way her hands were interlocked behind her head and by the satisfied look she had on her face. If that high handed statement had come from anyone else, he would have thumped him in the head. But from Ranma-chan...

"You're unbelievable."

Ranma-chan appeared confused by the statement. "Hey! I was serious! I'm a great guy to hang around. You know that. I bet I can make you forget about all that Amazon stuff. You know. After a while."

"I'm sure you can." Somehow she had managed to cheer Shampoo-kun up, at least for a little while. The two set out to the ship once more.

It was almost three hours later that Ranma and Shampoo had arrived at the ship to consider what had to be done, with Cologne. The two thought they had come up with the only solution that would work under the circumstances. It wasn't an easy decision, and many things could possibly go wrong, but there seemed to be little choice in the matter.

Cologne listened to the full details of what had happened. All three of them began to discuss the future, and what other options they might have had. Further ideas were traded back and forth. Plans were thought of and discarded. It was not until the later hours of the evening that one course of action was settled upon. It was similar to the one Ranma and Shampoo had though of, and not very satisfactory, but it was one that afforded Shampoo the protection she needed.

As Ranma and Shampoo made their way into the room they now shared, trying to get at least several hours of rest before confronting the others, they stopped to fully reflect on what they were about to do.

"We don't have any other choice, do we?" Ranma asked, already knowing the answer.

Shampoo hopped into bed, refraining from patting the vacant spot next to her. For all of his seeming lack of interest at times, Ranma voiced no apprehension about sleeping next to her. A step in the right direction, at least. "No. None I can see."

He slipped in beside her without hesitation. "Well, then, I guess it's settled."

"As much as it will be." She snuggled up next to him, pleased that he neither tried to squirm away nor said a word about it.

"Too bad we ain't got more time."

"There's never enough time." She yawned, and felt the edges of sleep claim her. At the moment between sleeping and wakefulness, she felt Ranma's arm embrace her at last. He was right, but it went farther than what he meant. There never was enough time.

And then she was asleep.

In the early morning, one by one, Shampoo and Ranma visited each of the friends and companions that had traveled with them. There were several exceptions. Cologne would deal with Perfume. There was no point in making the matter potentially worse in visiting her, not with what was going to happen. She needed as much culpable deniability as she could manage. Kasumi would talk with Akane. Ranma avoided Mousse, leaving him to Shampoo. Ranma spoke alone with his parents last. After that confrontation, which left little resolved, he felt like speaking to no one else.

Once they were through, everyone understood what had to be done and agreed to the handful of requests concerning what others, specifically the Joketsuzoku, might ask of Shampoo. A series of half-truths and evasions, lies if it proved necessary, but all agreed to them. The motivations for following were as diverse as the people that were asked the favor, though. Kodachi agreed only because she knew if anything happened to Shampoo, Mousse would be devastated (and Kodachi knew she had at last won him. The wicked harriden could never break them apart now. OHHOHOHOHO!) It wasn't likely the crew would say anything to anyone, especially since the plan was to leave that very day. (But, as Aki pointed out, how often did things ever work the way they had planned? At least if the ship got lost this time it wouldn't be her fault, not that it ever was.) Kunou was lost in deep contemplation, barely paying attention to the request. But in the end the result was the same: Agreement from all.

While Shampoo was in the shower, Ranma did take the time to go by Akane's room one last time to think about all that had happened in the time he had first met her. Too many mistakes. Far too many. Maybe in time things would work out. Actually, he did have faith that they would; optimism was a trait that had yet to be extinguished in his bosom. However, any satisfying resolutions would still take a while. At least he was going to get that time, so maybe their decision was for the best.

"Good-bye, Akane," he whispered under his breath, then went once again on the path he had chosen.

Shampoo had already packed the handful of things they would be taking with them, including winter clothing. The temperature had plunged another twenty degrees overnight. Never had it been that cold in that part of the country at that time of year. Cologne had confirmed that. Ranma also again proclaimed, quite loudly, that it was not his fault.

"It's time to go."

Ranma nodded in agreement to Shampoo. Those were the words his father had spoken many times in his life, and despite his misgivings about what they were about to do, he felt a certain joy in him. It had been too long since he had truly felt the road beneath his feet. Sometimes he wondered how much more Ryouga had really traveled than himself. After all, Ranma had been going from place to place, without staying in any one spot for any real length of time, almost his entire life.

As they made their way, the couple found every step increasingly difficult. Each one meant they were getting closer to a change each would be making again, but it had to be done. There was no other way.

When they reached the deck they saw the handful of people waiting for them: Cologne, Kasumi, Ryouga, Kyoko, Minami, and Aki.

"No Ukyou?" Shampoo asked Ranma.

"She didn't want to leave Ai's side. I told her it would be all right, so we said our own good-byes there. She sends her regards to you too. I hope Ai gets better, both for her sake and Ucchan's." Ranma scrunched his face a bit. "Still seems kinda weird. I mean the idea that Ucchan's going to have a, y'know, girlfriend."

Shampoo sniffed a little. "I got accused of that all the time at school. At least everyone thought my girlfriend was cute." She then gave Ranma a mischievous grin.

"Watch who you're calling a girl." His voice carried a serious tone, but she could see the glint of impishness in his eyes.

Seriousness replaced humor. "Your parents aren't here either."

"They're being stubborn jerks. Both of them." Ranma's voice now carried a hint of anger. "Well, Pop more than Mom, but she's bein' stubborn too. Maybe we're leaving just in time. It'll give them a chance to think things through and let them see the obvious." His voice dropped a little. "I hope." The discussion was going down paths he did not want to deal with at the moment. He decided to change the subject. "Where's Mousse? I figured nothing short of death would keep him from coming."

Shampoo shrugged. As much as it pained her to admit, she could not really care about his absence. He had been there for far too many years and caused too many problems, especially of late, in her life for her to ever truly miss him. A sad and horrible truth. "He couldn't bring himself to come. And I gathered from what he said, Kodachi is going to be staying with him for a while."

"Ha!" Ranma found his humor returning. "Couldn't happen to a nicer pair."

Shampoo wondered how her people were going to deal with an off-the-wall martial arts gymnast and her delightful Ranma-Eating Plants. Her gut feeling was that, for Mousse's sake, he had better figure out a way to make her at least an honorary Amazon before she got there. Otherwise Kodachi would end up on the receiving end of a 'kiss of death' before the end of her first day.

Shampoo's heart sank a little as she turned her attention to the people that wanted to see them off.

Ryouga stepped forward to shake Ranma's hand. "So you're really leaving, huh?"

"Yep," Ranma responded. "Maybe there's a cure for Shampoo and me out there somewhere. Since she can't go home, and a lot of people aren't exactly too pleased with some of the choices I've been making lately, it's probably best we leave for a while."

"Who's going to keep me in shape by ruthlessly pounding my fists with his face?" Ryouga asked.

"Last time I checked, you were always the one that was horizontal at the end of our fights," Ranma shot back. "At least all of the times I didn't bury you headfirst in the ground, that is."

"In a weird way, I am going to miss you, Ranma. You've been one of the driving forces in my life. Try to find that cure soon. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't get all sentimental on me," Ranma warned. "I don't think I could take that from you."

"I could hit you if it would make you feel better," Ryouga offered.

"I'll pass today," Ranma assured him. "Next time for sure."

It was Aki's turn, sort of. She looked sadly at the pair. Given that she had lived the life of a sailor, she was used to leaving people she knew behind all the time. Still, it never got easier. "You sure you can't go back to her village? I mean, I had the lawyer we got chained in the brig look their book of laws over. There's some sort of exceptional circumstance thingy. Maybe you could use that since you took out the big dragon."

"With all that's gone on before and how long she's had the curse, there ain't no guarantee they'll go along with it!" Ranma suddenly came to life as he snapped at Aki. "And if they don't that means they'll kill her! I ain't going to let that happen! We'll find a cure!"

"And even if we don't, that just means I won't be able to go back home." Shampoo beamed a smile at Ranma. "Someone showed me I can live with that, now. It'll be sad, but I can think of lot's of worse things to live without."

Ranma suddenly felt very awkward under Shampoo's gentle gaze. He still needed some time to get used to certain things.

"Why do you have a lawyer chained up in your brig?" Kasumi asked Aki.

Aki just gave her a blank stare. "I just told you, it's a lawyer."

"A wise decision to isolate it," Cologne agreed, then turned back to the two people that were going to leave soon. "As far as everyone back home is going to know, Shampoo is dead. I myself will tell them I saw her form, pulverized by rocks, and with no chance of survival. She was dead, I'm sure of it."

Ranma involuntarily shuddered at that statement. There were other things that were still going to haunt him for a while as well. A change of scene was probably going to do him more good than he had originally thought.

Cologne continued. "None of our people have seen Shampoo alive since the mountain exploded. In fact, the others saw me return without you. That will help in the...half truths we will tell. Even Perfume has not seen you since your return. And if you should happen to find a cure, you can return and Ranma can tell them of his actions on top of the mountain. Technically all I will say is true to the letter, if not in the spirit. No one should refute me." It had been fortunate that circumstances allowed her to effectively cover up what had happened, and that only Silk and Perfume were aware of Shampoo's continued survival made things all the easier.

"Guess what?" Kasumi suddenly perked up. "I'm going to be staying in the village for a while."

Everyone but Aki and Cologne looked at her in surprise. Shampoo was the first one to speak. "Why?"

Kasumi just gave her perpetual smile. "You made your village sound so interesting I thought I'd visit it for a while. I haven't ever really taken a vacation in years, and certainly not on my own. Since I already know your great grandmother and Perfume, I thought it would be nice. And I'll get a chance to meet the rest of your family too. I think it'll be a lot of fun."

"I'm more than happy to have the company," Cologne said and gave a wide toothy grin. "And Kasumi is so pleasant to have around. Besides, it's the least I can do for what aid she's rendered to Shampoo."

"Yeah, but what about everyone back home?" Ranma brought up. "I mean, without you there to kind of help out, it might be a little rough for them."

Kasumi looked somewhat wistful at that reminder. "Actually, Miss Silk is going to be staying there for a while. A long while, I think. She said she's not even going back to her home. She'll just have her things sent over to Japan later. I think it's so wonderful that she and Father still get along do well, even after all that time. I told her she could have my room while I'm gone."

"I think there's someone else's bed she'd rather keep warm," Cologne mumbled under her breath. Little doubt Silk would, too. The way she had been skipping around was shameful for a woman of forty plus years. She was behaving like a little girl, except for the raunchy suggestions she had been making around Soun, nearly causing the man to pass out like Ryouga. She had even moved D'Amour to tears when he made the mistake of asking for some clarification on what she intended to do to her lover. She then moved him into unconsciousness with her staff when he implied he would have a much better performance than Soun and tried to demonstrate said skills.

"She seemed very happy to help out," Kasumi continued. "And as for my family, well, I'll miss them very much, but it's not like I'll be in China forever. It'll be just for a while."

To Shampoo, it appeared that Kasumi's smile was just a tad forced. Certainly the purple-haired Amazon paid closer attention to her than others, and would notice something like that first. But Shampoo also knew that she worried too much at times, and that with everything that had gone on and was about to happen, she could have been mistaken. "You have a good time. Great grandmother will take good care of you. Watch out for my mother though. Sometimes she's very... emotional."

"Not like that doesn't run in the family," Ranma muttered under his breath.

Shampoo let it slide for the moment. Now was a time for farewells, not angry words exchanged for something Ranma didn't really mean. He just didn't think before opening his mouth.

Besides, she would have plenty of time to get payback later. It wasn't like there was anywhere for Ranma to run anymore.

"She'll be fine, Shampoo. I'll let everyone know she's under my protection." Cologne reassured her.

"Hey, old ghoul." Ranma cleared his throat. "Since you said you and Mr. Tendo were going to take care of the old lech's funeral, I gotta give you these anddon'tshowthemtoanyone!" He stuffed two photos into the diminutive woman's hands.

Cologne examined the two pictures. They were of Ranma, in his girl form, and Shampoo, both in lingerie. She looked at him in surprise.

"He did save us all, and it was part of the deal." Both he and Shampoo's expressions showed living up to their end of the bargain was about as pleasant as trying to cure a headache with a mallet to the head.

"That he did," Cologne agreed. Happosai would have a good funeral. He deserved at least that for what he had done at the end. And as for Tarou, since there was nowhere else for him, Akane had requested that a funeral be held in Japan and that he be 'buried' alongside the Tendo family plot. Since he had essentially died trying to protect Akane, not a voice was raised in disagreement. True, there were no longer any remains to bury, thanks to the mountain being destroyed, but they could at least have a symbolic funeral.

Everyone remained silent then, just staring at one another for several minutes. Of all the people, Ryouga was the first to speak up. "It feels like the end of something, doesn't it?"

As one the group nodded their heads.

"A breaking of a circle," Minami quietly admitted.

Cologne raised an eyebrow at that. "An unusual saying, child."

Minami just shrugged. "When you travel in the magical paths like I do, you hear lots of things. But it seemed appropriate. Besides, the breaking of a circle isn't so bad. It usually means all of the different parts find themselves cast into other circles." Minami realized how that sounded. "Look, it's just a saying. Don't look at me like I'm some kind of philosopher or something. It was the first thing that came to mind."

"I think it's kind of right," Ranma suddenly said. "Even if we were to come back next week, I don't think it would ever be the same."

"It is sad," Kasumi said, now with a melancholy in her own voice.

"There are no ending or beginnings, just a continuation of a single steady stream of time. The old ways of our past are abandoned to allow the new ones of our present to take over. In time, those self same new ways become old, and the process repeats itself again. What happens here happens to all everywhere. We all need to change in order to risk bettering ourselves. It is both a blessing and a curse."

Kyoko noticed that everyone was now looking wide-eyed at her.

"I'm sorry," she said meekly as her face turned beet red. "That was a stupid thing for me to say. I'll shut up now."

Ryouga placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her from leaving. "Actually, it sounded pretty good. I think." He turned to see everyone nodded in agreement, even Aki.

"I guess we can't wait any longer. We should get going before that Hunt Pack comes back and makes all of this kind of unnecessary." Ranma shouldered his pack to emphasis his words.

Shampoo followed suit as once more both shook hands and gave their good-byes to all that had come to say farewell.

"We promise to stay in touch," Shampoo pledged as she took the gangplank down to the shore. Ranma quickly followed suit. And it was absolutely not because he thought he might cry. He didn't do things like that just because he was saying farewell. He didn't even really get along with everyone that was there. Not everyone.

"There they go, riding off into the sunset," Aki commented with the slightest hint of sadness in her voice.

"The sun's not setting. It's still early morning."

"Thanks for clearing that up, vacuum brain," Aki said to Kyoko in the same tone she had just used in describing Ranma and Shampoo's departure.

No argument erupted between the two; each was too sad over the farewells. Everyone watched the couple begin their journey in the direction opposite of Joketsuzoku, all feeling varying degrees of depression at their departure. It was as Ranma had said; everything had changed. They could all feel it, and everyone wondered what tomorrow would bring.

It was as the group began to head back into the ship, that the words drifted to them, unbidden.

"Ranma, when do you think we can get married?"

"MARRIED! Who said anything about getting married?!"

"You said you loved me."

"Uh...yeah, I did. And I do. But love and marriage are two different things. And I never said nothing about no marriage!"

"After what happened on top of that mountain, I consider that a proposal."

"WHAT?! Where do you get off putting words in my mouth?! I save your life...I mean I beat Death for you and you take it as some kind of lifelong commitment! That's so..."

"Rational?"

"I was gonna say, 'That's so like a woman'!"

"Of course. You make it sound like that's some kind of an insult."

"Only an Amazon would take that as a compliment. And I ain't said nothing about no marriage, therefore we ain't getting married...for now. I mean...maybe someday. Probably. I think. I guess. I don't know. But I do know we ain't getting married now."

*WHAP*

"HEY! You dumb Amazon! Why'd you hit me?!"

"We fight now."

"I ain't fighting you!"

*WHAP*

"Why'd you hit me again?!"

"We fight now!"

"I told ya once, I ain't fighting-"

*WHAP*

"Why the heck do you keep hitting me?! I mean, they don't even hurt and you aren't putting any force into them. It's almost like... HEY! You're trying to goad me into fighting you so I can beat you and you can say we're married by them dumb Amazon laws!"

"They're perfectly good laws and that's not what I'm trying to do. I just want to show you how slow you really are!"

"Slow, am I? Well if I'm so slow, why is it I'm going to stay out of your reach until we're out of Amazon lands? You'll never marry me then!"

"Are you saying that if I catch you before we're out of Amazon lands you'll marry me?"

"Yeah! Right! Like you can catch mYAH! HEY! When did you get so fast?!"

"You'd be amazed at how fast I can get when I'm properly motivated. Now stand still and I promise you won't be sorry!"

"Ha! Ranma Saotome will never be caught by some violent Amazon chick!"

"Ohhh! Just for that I'm going to write those words on our wedding cake!"

"Now if that's not a case of puttin' the horse before the cart, I don't know what is! WHOOPS! Close but no cigar! Looks like you're going to end up an Amazon old maid!"

"That's what you think!"

"Nyah! Nyah! Catch me if you can!"

"Silly Ranma! No matter how far you run, I'll catch you in the end!"

"We'll see about that!"

It wasn't until the couple was out of earshot that the collective sweatdrops disappeared from behind the group's heads.

Aki looked to the others. "Who wants to bet she catches him?"

Ryouga just shook his head. "Ranma won't let himself be caught until he's good and ready."

Cologne nodded in agreement. "Shampoo knows that and will wait, though I'd wager she'll make Ranma ready for it sooner than he thinks."

"I'll agree with you there," Minami said. "Ranma underestimates anything that isn't him. And they still got a ways to go, not that I have the slightest doubt they'll end up together, not after what they've been through. I'd say a year, minimum."

Kyoko gave it some thought as well. "Two years. Ranma likes to drag his feet and getting him to make a commitment is like trying to keep Ryouga-kun from passing out when you neck with him. You'd be better off trying to get blood from a rock."

"Especially since I've got a spell for that," Minami added. "And you're right, I think they get a perverse enjoyment out of chasing one another. Two years, minimum."

"So everyone agrees that they'll get married in two years?" Kasumi asked, already mentally tallying what she would need to prepare for the occasion.

"That's how long it'll take for the engagement to become official. Not that they aren't all but engaged already," Ryouga commented pensively. "Tack on six months after that."

"Make sure you invite me," Aki added. "That means send the invitation at least eight months in advance if you want any chance for me to make it."

"Right," Kasumi said, writing down everything on a piece of paper. There were so many preparations to make. At least she had plenty of time.

Kyoko jumped up and down to get everyone's attention. "How long do people think it'll take Ryouga-kun to propose to me?"

*THUD*

"Till Hell freezes over," Aki said dryly as she observed her cousin's unconscious form.

"I'll get you a copy of the 'Almanac of Tartarus' to see when the temperatures get that low," Minami offered as Kyoko began dragging Ryouga's unconscious form behind her. Idle talk began about who else would get married to whom and when.

And somewhere in the countryside, a young Japanese man was still being happily pursued by a young Chinese girl.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well, that's the main story, but fear not, there are still several epilogues left to help wrap things up (how many remains to be seen. Three? Four? Another forty? Would you like to make the call? ^_^).

Additional note: Ranma's little phrase about 'puttin' horses before carts' isn't a typo, in spite of the way it sounds. Congratulations if you can figure out the word play there. (And thanks to Bloodblade for making my mistake into something useful. Heh. Got to give credit where credit goes.)

And of course, special thanks to that great prereading crew, who made this fic all the more readable and enjoyable:

Ryan Anderson  
Bloodblade  
Jim Bader  
Jurai-Knight  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Gary Kleppe  
Miashara  
Wade Tritschler


	41. Epilogue 1: The Wheel Turns

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2

Epilogue I

The Wheel Turns

All C+C is desired. You can contact me at:  
sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters or any from other series mentioned in this story.

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also put it on his webpage at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Slashley also has it at:

An Alternate Universe:

What happened last chapter:  
Ranma made his choice. Now other have to live with it as well.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

'It can't rain all the time.  
The sky won't fall forever.  
And though the night seems long,  
your tears won't fall forever.'

Graeme Revell.

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The journey was over.

Akane had at last returned to where it had all began. She stared at her home through the window of the taxi. There seemed to be little point in delaying the inevitable, so she opened the door. For a brief second the difference between the bright daylight and the darkened interior of the vehicle temporarily blinded her. That temporary blindness passed just as quickly as it had appeared as her eyes focused once more upon her home. Her reaction was instantaneous as she noticed the difference between what had been there before China, and what stood before her now.

Once it had been a warm place, full of love and hope, not that she had ever truly thought of it in such glowing terms at the time. No, before she had taken its warm protective confines for granted, like most people did. It had been her shield that had protected her from harm. Not only the physical, but from the emotional too. That was why she had rarely slept over at other's houses growing up, despite many offers from close friends. She never felt as secure under a stranger's roof as she had under her own.

It was where she had lived, where she had grown up, where she had loved. Now none of those feelings present. It felt just like it looked: a building constructed of wood and plaster. Brick and mortar. Steel and Iron. Just a place with no real emotional value whatsoever. A sanctuary no longer.

Now her home was just another place.

Once, not so long ago, it had been the place where childhood dreams and fantasies had lived and died. All of them really. Growing up, she had wanted to be a princess, a pirate, a dancer, an idol singer, a martial artist. All of them came and went with the changing of a mood, save the last one, due in no small part to her father's gentle encouragement.

She developed her first crush there. The object of her affection was not Dr. Tofu, although that fact had been a closely guarded secret too, but little Jiro Ngoya, who had lived across the street. Of course the two of them had only been around eight at the time, but it had still been an unspoken thing. Jiro had never known, and just when she thought she might have worked up the courage to say something, he moved away, the rat. Her affections then turned to someone safer, who wouldn't disappear on her: dear Dr. Tofu. Jiro was forgotten in time. Time healed wounds.

Didn't it?

Not really. The way she felt now told her otherwise. It was too bad the same forgetfulness that had claimed Jiro would not take Ranma as well. Memories of him would never be forgotten. Ever. What she had felt for him was no crush, but the real thing, true love, even if she hadn't been able to admit it to herself until the end, when it was too late.

Again a thousand recriminations leaped forth. 'If only I had been cuter or not been so hostile to him or been a better martial artist or had been more understanding or this or that or any one of another million things then Ranma would have been mine.' That was what her mind tried to tell her, but she had doubts about that. Maybe there was something she could have done, some words spoken or feelings openly expressed that would have made the difference, but she didn't really believe it. She had done everything that felt right at the time, and even hindsight couldn't tell her where she might have gone wrong. Not that it mattered. He hadn't chosen her anyway, and the world was not made of what ifs.

"It looks wonderful, Soun."

Akane found the sorrow that threatened to drown her momentarily distracted by the cheery voice. Silk had been a surprisingly pleasant companion. Akane had wanted to hate her with all of her heart. After all, the woman was a damned Amazon. However, shortly after the long journey back across the world on that wreck of a wandering ship, whatever stereotypes that she had tried to place Silk into didn't fit. The horrible truth was that Silk was a nice person who always seemed to have the right word to say at the right time. Akane found herself quite unwillingly warming up to the woman. It was only a matter of time before Akane took a step back and accepted the fact that all Amazons were not to blame for the behavior of one. Her attitude was not one that led towards vindictiveness, not without good reason anyway, and she forced herself to change her feelings towards that land of women now so far away.

Besides, Silk made Soun happy. The smile her father almost perpetually wore now was one that Akane had seen too infrequently over the years. Knowing what it was like to be denied a love so desperately wanted, who was she to try to make her father suffer from the same feeling by trying to push Silk away? No. The Amazon met with her approval, and she was certain to let her father know that.

How odd it was that the curious exchange had taken place: Silk for Kasumi. One mother figure for another. It was some sort of cosmic symmetry, Akane supposed, but her sister's absence still bothered her far more than she openly admitted. Kasumi had been there forever, and to have her leave as well seemed too great a burden to bear. But she forced herself to strengthen her resolve, and wished Kasumi safe journey on her little vacation to China. Of course she was going to come back, but despite what Kasumi had said about her absence only being for a little while, it felt to Akane as though she was leaving for good. Even if that did turn out to be the case, then so be it. If she could let go of Ranma, she could also let go of her oldest sister. It wasn't like Kasumi could stay at home forever. She had a long overdue life of her own to live, and sometimes Akane wondered if she hadn't been inadvertently responsible for the delay in some way.

Once Akane thought about the impact Kasumi's absence was going to have, it occurred to her how much she and her family had taken the eldest Tendo girl for granted. Had Akane ever truly explained to her oldest sister just how much she appreciated all she had done for her? It didn't feel that way, and Akane vowed she'd let Kasumi know face to face the next time they saw one another. Not expressing what she felt had screwed up her life once, and she was damned if she'd make the same mistake twice.

So many changes.

Too many changes.

Why couldn't some things remain the same?

Akane noticed Silk observing her out of the corner of her eye. Akane had not said much about her feelings concerning the whole sordid affair with Ranma, but she still had the feeling that the Amazon knew exactly what she had been going through. Silk didn't use words, but expressions, and never anything overt, just subtle gestures and glances. What few words Akane had afforded to Silk over everything that had happened had a surprising effect on her father's love. Silk agreed wholeheartedly that what Shampoo had done was wrong, and the way she said it left no doubt she was being sincere. To Silk, it had been highly morally objectionable for Shampoo to abuse the Tendos' hospitality and steal Ranma away from the family, forcing him to break the pact between the clans. Akane was fairly certain that the next time Silk and Shampoo crossed paths, someone was going to get a tongue lashing, and it would serve Shampoo right too.

Akane felt the rage against Shampoo build and hurriedly quelled those feelings, using the advice Tarou had given her. Keep the anger under control until you could do something about the cause of it, then you unleash your fury. The anger would not serve Akane now. Shampoo wasn't coming back, not in the near future and maybe not ever. The latter would sit with Akane just fine. She had more important things to do than dwell upon someone she despised, like getting on with her life.

Subconsciously, she played with the dragonscale bracer on her right arm. There were funeral arrangements that still had to be made. Of all the people that knew who Tarou was, she was the only one that had come close to understanding him. It was her responsibility to see that his name was remembered with honor. She had been unable to give him the love he had wanted, but she could treat everything about him with respect. And woe to anyone that tried to besmirch that name, for Akane would not tolerate such ramblings for even a moment. Tarou had not had many friends and had somehow accumulated many enemies, but she would be damned if she would not defend the honor of one who had given her everything and received so little in return. It was the sort of thing Tarou would have approved of.

Akane was still mentally sorting out what steps she would have to take for the funeral arrangements when the trio entered the house. Soun called out Nabiki's name, but received no answer in return. Akane simply assumed her sister was out and headed for the living room. Turning the corner, she saw that Nabiki had not left the house at all.

She was draped awkwardly on her back over the table. Her limbs were splayed out wildly as her head hung over the side, while her eyes were wide open, simply staring off into space. But the worst part was the thing on her chest. Birdy was sitting on it, looking contentedly, as if he had somehow brought down Nabiki as though she were a giant rat. Akane looked on in horror, until she noticed that Nabiki's chest was still moving and her eyes blinked.

Akane sighed. The way Nabiki played games with Birdy was really weird. Sometimes she wondered if the pterodactyl didn't torment her older sister in some way, but that was absurd; it was a dumb animal and Nabiki was one of the smartest people Akane knew. It was all just some weird mind game she was playing with all of them. It was just like her.

Nabiki blinked again and slowly raised herself up, Birdy moving from his now uncomfortable perch. Once Akane got a good look at her, she saw that Nabiki's hair was completely askew and her clothing had many tiny rips all over it. It looked like she had been through a blender.

Nabiki's glazed eyes slowly took in the people before her, then focused on them. With a cry she rushed over to her father and hid behind him.

"Make it go away! Make it stop!" Nabiki cried out. "It's been torturing me since you left! I didn't feed him the first day everyone was gone, so he took his revenge! First, I discovered someone got on my computer and transferred most of my bank funds as an anonymous donation to a charity. Then my diary somehow fell into the hands of people that didn't like me. I keep finding dead rats in all of my belongings. And I kept sensing someone watching me. Late at night I'd hear a voice whispering it was going to do terrible things to me. I know it was him, even if every time I checked he was still in his cage. I tried apologizing to him, but he wouldn't listen. And then you saw what he did to there. I can't take it anymore. Where's Kasumi?! She has to make him stop tormenting me!"

Akane sighed. Her sister had snapped. That was all there was to it. She had no idea that Nabiki had been so close to the brink. Really, Akane had thought her sibling was the one with her head screwed on the tightest. Maybe with no one else around she had some sort of delayed phobic reaction to being alone. Akane always thought Nabiki hadn't shown enough emotion after their mother died. Perhaps that was what helped cause the breakdown.

"Nabiki," Akane cooed as she placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Birdy is just an animal. He couldn't do any of those things. I'm sure it was all a really big coincidence. Now all of us are going to be here from now on, so you don't have any reason to be afraid any longer. All right?"

Nabiki seemed to calm down a little. "Where's Kasumi? Why isn't she here?"

"She decided to stay with the Amazons for a few months. I'll let Dad fill you in on what happened while we were gone." Akane found the next part difficult to say, but she knew she would have to get used to saying it out loud. There were others that were going to want explanations as well. "A lot of things have changed. Ranma isn't coming back."

Birdy suddenly flew out of the room and straight out the door, never stopping once or looking back. By the time Akane realized what had happened, it was too late to do anything about it. She cursed herself at Birdy's escape. Maybe the tiny pterodactyl would come back on its own, but if it didn't, Kasumi would be heartbroken over her pet's departure. Still, there was nothing Akane could do, other than maybe leaving pieces of raw meat out for him in the hopes he would return. She headed for her room as Nabiki whooped for joy at the pterodactyl's departure; the middle Tendo was really taking the joke too far, Akane thought.

She made her way upstairs and to her room. After Nabiki's festive reaction, everything quieted down. Genma would come by for his and Ranma's things eventually, then there would no longer be anything that belonged to Ranma in the house. Not his clothes. Not his backpack.

Not his fiancee.

She let forth a deluge of quiet tears as it hit home. She wasn't his fiancee anymore. She was...nothing to him. Absolutely nothing.

The tears went on through the night.

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The weeks passed, the days seeming to last forever. Such a ridiculous notion, that time somehow went faster or slower. It was all in the way one perceived it. It was inexorable. You couldn't make time. You couldn't kill time. It just came and went. One second passing to the next. Never pausing, never stopping, never skipping. One. Two. Three. Four. Infinity.

It was time to get up. It was a task to rise each morning. There just didn't seem to be any point to it any longer. What was there for her once she rose out of bed and confronted the world? Oh, certainly everyone tried to help her out. Her friends had attempted for weeks to get her to loosen up and try to have fun again. It didn't work. She had tried to, but all she ended up doing was going through the motions, as though she were some kind of automaton programmed to act just like a normal young woman whose heart wasn't shattered into a million tiny pieces. The others saw through it immediately, and tried to console her with words that could never really change anything. It was nice that they tried, but everything they tried was still so woefully inadequate. Now her friends weren't trying as often to drag her out with them. It was appropriate. Why should she ruin their time by refusing to allow them to help?

School hadn't turned out quite as badly as she had thought it would. There had been very little loss of actual face because her fiancé had dumped her, not that she cared less about what others thought of her any longer. How ironic that she had Shampoo to 'thank' for that dubious pleasure, or at least her cursed form. No, most of her peers were quite understanding about what had happened.

After all, everyone knew that she and 'Ranma' hadn't gotten along. After the first couple of months he never expressed concern over Akane. Actually, the two had held nothing but open disdain for one another. Why, he had even dated that terrible (at least to the female population) Chinese tramp, the fiery-haired 'Shampoo'. It was no surprise that he broke off the engagement with Akane. Why would they want to make each other totally miserable for the rest of their lives? Ranma had done all but taken on a mistress before he was even married (which was met with open approval by most of the male population of Furinkan, at least when no women were within earshot) so no one blamed Akane for letting him go. Everyone agreed it was better that way, although there was a rumor that 'Ranma' would now be engaged to one of the other Tendo sisters, probably Nabiki, since Kasumi had disappeared. (Rumor had it she was being held captive by a bunch of Amazons. What a silly story.)

Akane thought the saddest thing about the engagement rumor was that it was the truth. Both of the idiot fathers were still operating under the delusion Ranma could marry Nabiki or Kasumi -once he returned to his senses, that was. The whole thing was pathetic, but Akane was forced to admit sometimes the two men were exactly that.

And when it came to the aborted wedding, well, the few people that were in the know as to whom it was going to be didn't say much. Akane had asked them to keep their mouths shut about it before the ceremony had begun, and when a few mentioned that she had almost been married to Ranma, most assumed it was Shampoo-kun instead of 'Shampoo's' brother. At least the confusion over the two Ranmas and Shampoos was now over and done with. One tiny silver lining that didn't make a bit of difference to her.

Akane still thought of Ranma. Not an hour went by when he didn't enter her thoughts. Actually, it seemed not even ten minutes would go by when he wasn't there in some way. She'd remember the way he laughed, or would say something insensitive or insulting to her. She missed that arrogance, that tremendous ego that made her want to stuff him in a garbage can sometimes. She missed those moments when he was thoughtful towards her, trying to help cheer her up when she was down, not that he would ever admit that was what he was doing. There were far more of those times than she had originally believed, now that she had thought about it. Whenever she passed the room he had stayed in, her eyes remained fixed on that door, hoping that somehow it would open and he would be there, smiling at her, telling her how things were going to be since he had changed his mind and returned for her, coming to his senses at last.

But he was never there and never would be. Daydreams were Ukyou's thing, not hers. She would always scold herself, overcoming the ache in her heart, and move on, trying hard not to look back. And sometimes she even succeeded.

Akane's thoughts went to Minami, who was supposed to drop by later in the day. The ghost sweeper was one of the few people that seemed unperturbed by Akane's depression. Sometimes they would eat lunch together while Minami complained about how Gosunkugi and Sayuri were now an item. The one time Akane mentioned how she had lost someone close to her too, Minami gave her an icy glare and coldly proclaimed she had never thought about Gosunkugi like that, and if Akane ever implied anything like that again Minami would be using her in the next magical experimentation of trying to bond a demon to a person's spirit. Akane let the subject drop after that.

Minami was going to come by so she could go through Happosai's belongings. She had sensed some powerful magic emanating from some of them, and regarded them as dangerous until they were properly catalogued. Akane had already moved Happosai's things out of the room. Once Minami grabbed the magic items, Akane would arrange to have most of the old master's taken care of.

Thinking of Happosai reminded her of the other loss from Mount Phoenix. Her mind went back to the day they held the funeral service for Tarou. There had been so few people there, just her and the members of her family. And it had been so emotionally draining on her. It was raining on the day they had his 'burial', not that there had been anything left to bury, his body had been destroyed with Mount Phoenix, but a symbolic one could be held for him in view of the lack of remains. During the service she had managed to keep her open emotions to simple tears. One thing Tarou had always been was full of pride; it wouldn't do to break down at his funeral. So she just stood there while they lowered an empty urn into the earth.

Amazingly, Nabiki showed an incredible amount of emotion at the funeral too. Akane's sister had cried long and hard when she first heard that Tarou died. That had been a complete surprise to Akane, she had been certain her older sister intensely disliked Tarou, yet Nabiki had behaved as though his death was the most heartbreaking thing that had ever happened to her. It had to have been his sacrifice. Nabiki must have forgiven him because he had saved Akane's life. It was one of the few times Akane could truly say she was proud of Nabiki's behavior.

Tarou was another debt Akane would never be able to repay. Sometimes she forgot there had been other people who had lost more than her at the mountain as well. Although, given the circumstances, it was probably forgivable. She had never dealt with loss all that well, even before Ranma. She sometimes cried over Tarou's death as well, though she was ashamed to admit she cried harder for the loss of her fiancé.

She cast off the memories and made her way downstairs. Upon arriving at the bottom of the steps, she heard the loud, boisterous tones of a man bellowing some kind of challenge. She rushed towards the dojo and saw a huge, heavily muscled young man in a black gi yelling something at her father. Now that she was in the room, she could clearly hear what the man was saying.

"I, the great and powerful Myoshi Tanaka, am here to challenge the so-called great Ranma Saotome! How dare he not wait here for me to appear! What kind of a martial artist leaves his school when it's about to be challenged?!" the giant bellowed.

"No one knew you were coming," Soun explained.

"I sent my challenge letter two months ago!"

"Oh, that explains it, we were out of town during that time," Soun explained. "Well, you see, Ranma is no longer a part of the Tendo Dojo at the moment. He's-"

"If you're looking for someone to fight, fight me!" Akane said as she moved in front of the man and dropped into a fighting stance. If it wasn't bad enough the man was a boisterous buffoon, he had to assume that the dojo was Ranma's. Even if Ranma had stuck around, it was going to be shared between the two of them. Just because he had been better than her was no excuse for everyone to ignore her. Especially now since it was solely hers.

Myoshi looked her over. "A mere slip of a girl like you, challenge me? HAHAHAHAOUCH!"

Myoshi started jumping up and down on one leg, the other currently in a great amount of pain from the kick that she had laid into his shin.

"Never insult a martial artist in her own dojo. Any real fighter would know better than that." Akane resumed a fighting stance, allowing Myoshi time to recover.

He looked her over more carefully, reassessing her as a threat. He too took up an aggressive fighting posture. "Very well. You want it. You got it."

The two began their duel.

After twenty minutes, Akane was barely able to stand. She had managed to hold her own in the beginning, but ever so slowly Myoshi gained the upper hand. He wasn't nearly as good as Ranma, but her current opponent was just slightly better than her. And up to that moment he hadn't made a mistake in the entire fight. His caution had paid off as Akane's defenses began to break down at his hands. She had tried everything she could think of, but the man was just too good for her.

Myoshi realized that as well. He interrupted his attack for a moment to carefully look Akane over. "You know something, you're pretty good looking. After I'm done beating you up, I just might take you on a date."

As the last word left his mouth his fate was sealed. Akane glowered at him with an intensity that made her nearby father and Nabiki back away in fear. She was like a blur as she lunged forward, her entire arm encased in a blue glow. Her speed was so great that all the 'great and powerful' Myoshi Tanaka had the time to do was gawk as a fist connected squarely with his jaw, sending him like a missile through the wall of the dojo, through one of the trees in the backyard, through the brick wall of a neighbor's house, and at last stopping when he struck a cast iron stove in the second house in his flight path.

"Umm, Akane. I think you hit him too hard," Nabiki said as she examined the hole in the wall and began calculating how much it would cost to repair it.

"He had it coming! I am not some prize to be won, and I'm not going to take being treated like an object by every jerk that knows how to throw a roundhouse kick and thinks he can beat me. I went through that nonsense once at the start of last year. Well, never again!"

Akane's glow vanished, but in spite of her exhaustion, she felt good. Real good. Not at defeating Myoshi, although there was more than a little satisfaction in wiping the arrogant smile off of him. It was that, for the first time since her return from China, she felt in control of her life. That was a feeling she was not going to let go of. Fighting for her dojo gave her a purpose in life, and if that was what it took to snap her out of her depression, then that was what she was going to do. Let perverts and challengers beware. Ranma Saotome may not have been around to answer the call to battle, but Akane Tendo would be more than ready to prove her worth.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And the weeks turned into months:

Akane lay on her bed, crying the hardest she had since that first horrible month of her return. It was all so stupid. She should have already been asleep, dreaming dreams she never remembered. There was not a single one she could recall upon awakening since Ranma had refused her. That wasn't to say she didn't dream, she knew she did. During the first two weeks she had come back she had awakened every single night in mortal terror, no doubt over some nightmare with Ranma in it. But as time passed those dreams that were more like nightmares became less and less. Soon she stopped her nocturnal awakenings altogether, but she knew that dreams were still there. Sometimes she could only recall vague impressions, but they were real. She still dreamed, even if she could not remember.

But it seemed there would be no dreams this night. No sleep to have them with. No. She knew she would see the morning dawn without ever closing her eyes. It was such a stupid reason too. It meant she was getting better. Her life was starting to finally begin anew. She had old friends and new. She had improved a great deal in her martial arts, so she had every reason in the world to be happy. And still she wasn't.

It had all come down to one thing. Just one simple thing. She hadn't even realized it until her eyes fell upon the picture of Ranma that she had sitting next to her bed. It was a simple little thing, taken from the night she had asked him out on a date and they had ended up in the amusement park. One of the barkers shouted out a good deal on pictures, and much to Akane's surprise, Ranma had offered to pay for it. The two of them stood together, and Akane took a chance by looping her arm through Ranma's. He had looked at her, panicked, then calmed down and smiled at her. Both of them looked up just in time to smile at the camera.

And there the picture sat in its frame. At first, she cradled it and wept. Later, when she was past that stage, she would just stare at it for hours on end. Lately, she just glanced at it and wondered where Ranma was at that moment.

But tonight something else had happened, and she cradled it close to her bosom once again. It was so stupid, she kept telling herself, but still the tears came. Tears of guilt. Of foolish, pointless, meaningless guilt, as though she had something to feel guilty about.

And that guilt came from one thing. For when she sat down next to the picture, it occurred to her that she had not thought about Ranma the entire day. Not a single errant thought of how he would react to a situation or call her some name as she screwed something up. Not once. It was not until that moment, when she laid her eyes upon the photo, that she realized it had happened. And she cried long and hard once more.

She was finally getting over him, and for some reason that made her heartbreak hurt all the more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few months turned into many:

Akane felt like crying as she watched plane took off on its flight to China. She looked to her side to see a mirror of her own depression on Nabiki's face. Yesterday had been one of the most emotionally draining days in her life, and it went far beyond her father's marriage to Silk.

The marriage itself had been simple enough. Silk hadn't even gone through the formality of forcing him to defeat, or even challenge her, to win her hand. When asked, she just shrugged and said that she had decided she was going to marry him and didn't care about what the others back home thought. She was forty-plus years old, and if she had found a man that was willing to marry her that 'late in the game' she was damned if she would let him go. Anyone that argued with that statement would be given a diatribe that would make a sailor blush. So, a simple ceremony was conducted with the two of them; a traditional Japanese wedding that had gone off without a hitch, although Nabiki had still grumbled about how much it had cost.

Nabiki never had warmed up to Silk, despite the Amazon's best efforts. The best that the two could agree upon was a truce, which was largely thanks to Soun bawling his eyes out about how they didn't get along and how much it hurt him to see step-children and step-mothers argue with one another and not be a big happy family. However, in spite of the promise, the general rule was that the two had as little to do with one another as possible. That was in direct contrast to Akane and Silk, who had begun to get along as an aunt and niece would. There was now a great deal of respect between the two, which helped cheer Akane up.

There had been one other unexpected pleasure about the wedding, the main cause of why Akane felt so depressed now; Kasumi had returned for it, although she only stayed a single day and night. Akane found herself hurt by her sister's seeming reluctance to stay, but there was unquestionably some sort of urgency on Kasumi's part. When pressed about it, all she would say was that Cologne was suffering from some health problems, and that she absolutely had to go back as soon as possible.

The instant Akane laid eyes on Kasumi for the first time since her return, she could tell there was something different about her sister. There was a sense of seriousness about her, and concern, as though she were worried about something. At first, Akane thought it might be over her long absence, but as time passed it seemed to be something else that was preying at her oldest sister's thoughts. More than once Akane noticed Kasumi staring outside and off in the distance, worry etched on her brow. And always it was in the same direction: west.

The reason why Kasumi had chosen to extend her trip to Joketsuzoku, since the time she had first decided to remain there after the destruction of Mount Phoenix, eluded Akane. It was true that Kasumi constantly sent messages telling everyone she was all right and asking how things were going at home but as to personal appearances, or even a straight answer about when she would return home for good, somehow those questions always ended up evaded. Although Akane couldn't seem to bring herself to openly accuse Kasumi of doing that. For whatever reason, her oldest sister wanted to stay there, and Akane was willing to accept it. It might even have been Kasumi's way of saying it was time for her to move on, like Nabiki would in less than a year when she headed off to college.

That was what made it all the more sad when the three Tendo sisters sat together and talked the night away. Their father was off on his honeymoon, leaving the place all to themselves. A great portion of it was spent grilling Kasumi as to what she had been up to in the almost year that she had been gone from home, but again, for the most part she just said that she was enjoying herself immensely and that she wanted to stay there just a little while longer (although she did thank them for sending Birdy back, which confused the hell out of Nabiki and Akane). Things were busy in China as Perfume seemed to be setting up to make a bid for leadership, despite still being a teenager. That she was rapidly gaining converts among the village made things all the more interesting. It was like watching a soap opera, except that it was all real. Kasumi seemed to be amused by that. Otherwise she remained closemouthed about anything she personally did. Even Nabiki's intense questions were evaded with a kind word and a turn of the tables when Kasumi asked back about how her younger sister's life was progressing.

Then it was Kasumi's turn to grill her sisters on what had happened in her absence. Nabiki had not done anything noteworthy. She had her hands full getting ready for college and reestablishing her 'network' of people. A much smaller group this time around, made up exclusively of the people she trusted instead of those that were simply useful.

Then the conversation switched back to Akane and how she had been dealing with life. She had been more than happy to open up and informed Kasumi of how school had gotten more interesting in the last year. She also informed her of how much her martial arts had improved thanks to techniques she had learned from Dr. Tofu and handful of other martial artists she had come across. She was now at a level that people would come to the dojo to challenge her rather than the long departed Ranma Saotome. Nabiki did add that occasionally one of the challengers would make the mistake of saying that he had come to challenge Ranma. Those ones always ended up falling even more quickly than the usual opponent. Likewise, Akane would destroy more of the dojo during those matches too, as she tended to simply punch them through a wall and into unconsciousness.

The night ended all too soon and Kasumi caught the morning flight, which Akane watched take off in the air, much to the regret of both herself and her sister. To each of them it seemed Kasumi had all but have left the fold already, and she was just visiting the same way any other child that had departed home would. As much as she tried to let go, Akane was already missing Kasumi terribly once more. It seemed as though everyone was going to abandon her in the end.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And the months turned into a year, and a little more.

"Akane, hurry up!"

Akane rushed down the stairs at the sound of her name being called. Running the risk of being late was becoming a nasty habit, but when Malia and the others suggested the late movie, neither she nor the others could resist. So it wasn't until nearly one A.M. that she had gotten home and even later when she actually managed to fall asleep. Naturally she was paying for it now in having to rush downstairs, greet everyone, then grab a quick breakfast she would eat as she ran to school.

She was almost to the bottom of the steps when the telescoping staff came from just around the corner, aimed at knee level. With an effortless leap she was over the staff and on the floor. She continued with a tuck and roll, hearing rather than seeing the sound of the metal shod staff striking the floor just behind her.

"SILK! What do you think you're doing?!"

Akane knew that was all the surprise training she would receive this morning. It was unfortunate. Not only was Silk teaching some new moves with her Amazon arts, but Akane's warning senses were now becoming more acute thanks to the sneak attacks that Silk made upon her every morning and afternoon. Although lately they had been few and far between, but the answer for that was simple enough.

Akane watched as Silk gave Soun a cross look combined with an exasperated sigh. "I am not made of glass, thank you very much."

"Buh...buh...but our baby!"

Silk's hand found its way to the small bulge in her abdomen. "I'm only four months pregnant. I still have at least one more before I'll become an invalid." The last comment was added dryly.

"We shouldn't take any chances. Our child..." Soun could contain himself no longer as he burst into tears.

"All right, Soun. I'll stop." Silk took note that his crying outbursts were becoming increasingly worse as time passed. Funny how before she had told him the good news, he hadn't cried for months. "No more morning workouts," she continued to reassure him. "I'll get fat, dumpy, and not do anything."

"Thank goodness." And with that his tears dried up. He was so relieved that he failed to notice the icy glare she shot him for that agreeing to that comment.

Akane found herself smiling at the situation. Her father really was a lot happier now, despite the fact he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when it came to his new wife and child. When Akane first heard the news, she found herself quite pleased that she was about to get another new sister, even if there was going to be over seventeen years of age difference between the two. The other nice thing was that the baby would certainly keep her father busy when the rest of the Tendo girls moved out. A time that was approaching all too quickly.

"Would you hurry up, Akane?"

Akane focused back on the matter at hand as she rushed into the kitchen, grabbing a couple pieces of toast with some sort of spread on them.

"Quit stalling. We're going to be late. Nabiki left already, you know."

"No one asked you to wait for me, Natsume," Akane replied as she watched her newly adopted sister grab a piece of toast as well and join her on their way out the door.

"Where's Kurumi?" Akane asked as she realized the other half of her new pair of siblings was still absent.

"She was just starting to come around when I rushed downstairs," Natsume explained through the piece of toast in her mouth. "It's not like she'll be late."

That was the truth. Kurumi was never late for anything. No matter how delayed a start she got, somehow she always managed to make it to her destination before anyone else. She'd have the time to stuff her face with the remaining food on the table and still make it to Furinkan before either Akane or Natsume.

The discovery of the new, 'Tendo Sisters' was another bright point in Akane's life, one of the few in the 'post Ranma' world. The Gambler King had come by with them in another attempt to win the dojo from Akane. The confusion that came about from the accusations that they were Soun Tendo's children, and the subsequent freeing of them from the Gambler King by the combined muscle and savvy of Akane, Nabiki, Silk, and one other, had released the girls from their forced servitude to the walking poker deck. Even after medical tests proved that they could not biologically be Soun's children, all of the Tendos agreed that the two girls, whose lives had been spent with so little to call their own, should have a roof over their heads and a family to love them. The time Akane had spent in talking with them made her initial judgment -that they were nothing but two con artists trying to steal the dojo- seem terribly shameful. They never did learn who it was that had taught them their techniques and claimed Soun was their father, though.

Now that the two newcomers had settled in peacefully, Akane found herself getting along well with both of them, although there was a stronger closeness to Natsume. The older of the sisters was nowhere near as open in displaying her emotions as Kurumi was, but when she at last opened up, Akane found herself drawn to the girl as a kindred spirit, and Kurumi felt the same. Now the two of them were practically inseparable. That closeness sometimes sparked jealousy between Kurumi and the other two, but of late all three had begun to settle into their new relationships.

As the pair made their way towards Furinkan, Natsume caught Akane examining something in her hands. "That's not that worthless thing you bought off of that weird Chinese girl with the elephant, is it?"

"Yeah, it is," Akane said as she continued playing around with it, trying to figure out what possible use half of a scroll (that couldn't even be unfolded) could have.

"I don't see why you paid her so much money for it. Not that I'm becoming Nabiki or anything, mind you, but it just seems like it was a waste of money."

Akane placed the half scroll in her school bag. "Look, Happosai may have been a panty-stealing pervert that caused more stress in everyone's life than any natural disaster, but he was the founder of our school, and he did give his life for all of us. I figure the least we can do in memory of him is to pay off his old debts. It's the right thing to do."

Natsume nodded in agreement. From the description everyone gave of him, there wasn't one redeeming quality in the little man everyone called Happosai, yet Akane was willing to go out of her way to help right some of the wrongs he had done, and which she had no real responsibility for. Akane still managed to surprise her new sister, even though they had known each other for almost a month. Truly amazing. Natsume realized that she still had a lot to learn about her new family.

Silence reigned between the two until they were almost halfway to school. That was when a voice caught their attention.

"If it isn't the lovely Akane Tendo. And here I feared our paths wouldn't cross today."

Akane gritted her teeth while Natsume growled in his direction. "Great. Can't a day go by without having to put up with him?"

"Be nice," Akane said softly enough that she wouldn't be heard by the boy. "If it wasn't for Kinnosuke and Nabiki, you and Kurumi would still be under the thumb of the Gambler King." That was the honest truth. Only the combined abilities of the duo had managed to outwit the King and his rigged games of chance.

Things had gone well enough afterward, save that Kinnosuke decided to stay around Nerima since it appeared so interesting. How unfortunate one of the things he had found 'interesting' was Akane herself.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't everyone's favorite Martial Arts Deadbeat. How are you, Kinnosuke?"

"Charmed and charming, as always."

Akane resisted the urge to punch him out. He might have been an arrogant silver-tongued flatterer that was as shifty as a fox, but he had more than enough sense to keep his hands to himself when he hit on Akane. 'Deadbeat' martial arts, as Akane liked to call the Kash-oo School of which Kinnosuke was a member of, involved evading paying what you owed and sponging off of others, not having to defend yourself against attacks that didn't involve large sums of money being thrown at you.

"Oh look, Kinnosuke. There's a five yen piece over there." Natsume pointed to the middle of a busy intersection. "Why don't you run over there and get it?"

"No need to be jealous, Natsume Tendo. It's not your fault your beauty pales in comparison next to your sister's." Kinnosuke delivered the line with just the right amount of false sincerity to set Natsume's teeth on edge.

"Hey, if it isn't my favorite playmate. Want to go out on a date?"

Akane had to smile as she saw Kinnosuke flinch slightly at that line. Nabiki had managed to silently approach from behind the boy and waited until she was almost directly behind him before speaking.

Right after the Gambler King incident, Nabiki and Kinnosuke had decided to go out on a date, the first one to spend ten yen having to pay for it all. It had been close, but Nabiki had tricked him and won, earning Kinnosuke's respect. But what appeared to be a match made in Heaven to Akane's eyes quickly fell into something more akin to a rivalry, with Nabiki coming out on top each time. Kinnosuke seemed to lose interest in dating Nabiki when she proved she was better, and somehow switched targets to another girl: Akane, much to her eternal regret. Romance was something she did not want in general. Romance with someone as shifty as Kinnosuke she wanted not at all.

"Ah, I fear I would be outclassed once more, Nabiki Tendo," he said smoothly as he bowed to kiss the back of her hand. "But I'm afraid I must break your heart and refuse." He turned to go, giving Akane one last farewell, before heading out of sight.

"Thanks for the save," Akane said to Nabiki.

"No thanks necessary," Nabiki responded as she stared in the direction Kinnosuke had left in. "I'm still a bit miffed that he gave up on me so easily."

"You mean you actually liked him?" Natsume asked in disbelief.

Nabiki shook her head. "It was more like a matter of respect. Besides, he was kind of fun to hang around with. A lot more interesting than some of the guys that go to our school, even the new ones. At least I'll be graduating soon."

A blur in a school outfit joined the other girls' sides. Once it stopped its motion, everyone could focus on the new arrival.

"I'm glad I managed to catch up to you guys," Kurumi said as she nearly inhaled a muffin, that she had brought from home, into her mouth.

"If you got up earlier, you wouldn't always have to hurry," Natsume said reproachfully.

"Well, I hate dragging my feet waiting for you guys. It's not my fault everyone's so slow." Kurumi held up a single finger. "I almost forgot, they said a really powerful, localized snowstorm is going to come through here soon."

"It snowed last week," Nabiki growled. "Then it hit one hundred degrees two days ago. Now they're calling for snow tomorrow. I hate this!"

"Umm, actually it's not for tomorrow," Kurumi said softly.

"When's it supposed to arrive then?"

"Oh, in about four seconds." Kurumi pointed at the wall of white that had seemed to move up from behind the girls.

Three minutes later, after the 'storm' had passed, four heads popped out of the five feet of snow they had been buried in.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, RANMA!" Akane bellowed.

Halfway around the world, someone sneezed.

"Funny, isn't it? I mean, I know the weather all over the world is messed up, but it's a lot worse here than anywhere else," Kurumi said.

"Sister, dear," Nabiki replied dryly. "Nerima has always had the most bizarre weather on the planet. Now it is simply official."

"Well, that was eventful," Natsume said as the quartet managed to get out of the area where the snowstorm had passed, and stood in front of the walls surrounding the school.

"It looks like the blizzard didn't hit here," Akane pointed out as she looked the school over and saw that there wasn't a bit of snow on the ground.

Kurumi sighed as she gazed wistfully at Furinkan. "You know, I never get tired of this sight. I love school. Since you've accepted Natsume and me into your family, its become a symbol of how normal our lives have become."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that part about how 'normal' everything is," Nabiki said.

A high pitched whistling noise caught the attention of all but Kurumi. The other three girls began looking around for the source.

"It's a wonderful place," Kurumi said as she continued staring at the school, "where you can accumulate knowledge..."

The trio continued searching.

"...participate in school activities..."

Three sets of eyes turned skyward as they identified the location of the increasingly loud whistle.

"...meet lots of new people..."

"Here comes one of those 'new people' now! Move it, Kurumi! Unless you want to become real intimate with her!" Natsume shouted as both she and her two new sisters ran as far as they could from 'ground zero.'

Kurumi looked upward just in time to see a cyan-haired missile head directly towards her from above. There was only one point three seconds for her to react before the humanoid projectile would strike the ground, and subsequently her.

Akane saw that Kurumi had raced ten yards past her by the time the object impacted with the street. All of the girls were outside of the blast radius, and once they realized they were safe, (and scanned the skies to ensure that there were no other people falling towards them), they approached the dust cloud that had been kicked up from the impact. When the dust settled, they could clearly see that the missile was indeed someone they were all quite familiar with.

The girl barely managed to raise her head up as she said, "No... fair... double... team..." and with that last utterance her head hit the ground, unconscious.

Nabiki whipped out a notebook and scrolled down the contents of one of the pages. "YES!" She jumped up and down in joy. "Only two people bet on Ryoko being the first one knocked out this morning! That means I'll really clean up today!"

Natsume walked over to Ryoko's unconscious form and nudged it with her foot until she was rewarded with a groan from the fallen girl. "She's still alive. Let's get going."

"You're right. I have to see who falls next." Nabiki hurried into the school yard, followed closely by the other three girls.

"Oni slut! Stay away from Lord Tenchi!"

"Juraian bitch! Don't go near Darling!"

Akane covered her eyes as Juraian energies met supercharged Oni electricity in a display that lit up the sky. She shook her head sadly at the display and thought about how much things had changed in the last year. It was sort of odd. So much of the chaos that had entered her life of late had been due to Ranma's, and to a lesser degree Shampoo's, presence. Once they departed from her life, she had assumed things would go back to being normal, but they hadn't. If anything, it had gotten worse, perhaps not so much on a personal level, but rather all around her. In hindsight, she felt that she shouldn't have been so surprised. Life in Nerima had never been truly 'normal', certainly not in all the time that she could remember. Kunou had always been Kunou, the teaching staff had always been a bit weird. A good portion of the male population wanted to beat her up for a date for goodness sakes. Those, among many other things, had been there before Ranma had ever set foot in Nerima. All Ranma's arrival had done was kick the whole thing into overdrive. And once started, even taking him out of the equation didn't do much to slow the chaos down.

The biggest disruption to peace occurred with the arrival of a new student that had transferred to Furinkan during Akane's extended trip home. In truth, Tenchi Masaki was not the actual problem, he was a quiet and exemplary student, it was the group of women that had followed him to Nerima that caused the problems. Four girls, all aliens, apparently had some interest or other in him. Ryoko, Ayeka, and Lum all sought to become his girlfriend, coming to blows over it more than half the time. Actually Ryoko and Ayeka started most of the fights, Lum just seemed to get caught up in them, somehow holding her own against her more powerful rivals.

The fourth one was the new head of the science department. Akane had to admit, Lil' (unless we're in class then call me Professor) Washuu managed to rival the principal for causing disorders to the day's events. At least she seemed to enjoy teaching, although Akane wasn't sure if she liked Washuu's description of her as 'another young, impressionable mind that can be filled with, and shaped into, whatever I, the greatest scientist in the known universe, choose. HAHAHAHAHA!'

At least things had at last started to hit an equilibrium, the point being driven home by the fact that Nabiki had managed to turn the antics of the new arrivals into a money making scheme. And after being matched up with Tenchi in a class project, Akane learned he wasn't the one responsible for stringing the women along, as she had first thought. Actually they had become friends over time. Once he opened up to her, explaining how much it bothered him to have people he liked fighting over him, she felt a deeper understanding of what Ranma might have gone through when she and Shampoo had waged their contest over him. She was still hurt over losing Ranma, but a great deal of the anger she had over him disappeared after learning the truth about Tenchi. And there was no way she was interested in the alien-attracting guy, no matter how nice he seemed. He was not looking for any new romantic interests, and Akane was still avoiding anything resembling romance altogether. A real friendship was all that Akane needed at that point in her life.

Kurumi shook Akane out of her reminiscing as she shouted out. "Oh wow! Look Akane! It's a flying ark!" and pointed to the sky.

Akane followed Kurumi's finger. Sure enough, an ark, surrounded by a bright golden nimbus of light, was descending from the heavens. That no one in the entire school seemed particularly startled by the new arrival was another statement to just how much weirdness was now taken for granted at school.

"It's a flying wooden ship. I take it it's one of yours?" the recently returned Ryoko asked Ayeka.

"No. I've never seen its design before. It's definitely not Juraian."

Nabiki quietly moved some distance from the group.

"I think I see some people on the foredeck," Natsume said as she strained to make out the figures above.

"Geez! Would you look at the goofball with the chopsticks and bowl of rice in his hands," Ryoko said. "From the way he's moving, I think he's getting ready to make a big speech."

As if on cue, Ki Rin began. "I have come seeking she who is destined to be my future bride." He put down his bowl and pulled out half of a scroll. Slowly he began waving it around until it settled upon Akane. "I sense that that woman is the one I seek, and what a fine catch she will be. Ebitan!"

A little man, about the size of Happosai and armed with a fishing pole, bowed before his leader. "One bride coming right up."

He drew back his rod and cast it, the line extending over a hundred feet until it wrapped itself around the target, Akane Tendo, pinning her arms to her sides. With a quick tug of the line, Akane was jerked upward into the sky. Ebitan reeled her in until she was directly above Ki Rin, then released the line, allowing her to fall into his waiting arms.

On the ground, the others collectively winced.

"Ohh. That was a mistake," Lum said as she watched the events unfold above.

"Five," Natsume said as she gazed at the ark.

"Three," Kurumi replied, taking her eyes off of the ark long enough to look at her sister.

Natsume scowled in return. "Four."

"Two." Kurumi's eyes shone with amusement.

"Three."

"One."

"HOW DARE YOU TRY KIDNAPPING ME AND FORCING ME TO MARRY YOU!"

Natsume and Kurumi correctly identified the sound of Akane's fist smashing heavily into her captor's face.

"Okay. You were closer," Natsume reluctantly admitted.

Above, Akane pried her fist out of the very stunned Ki Rin's face and regained her footing.

"Hey! You can't assault Prince Ki Rin like that!"

Akane turned to the diminutive man. "And you. You were the one that snared me." Akane cracked her knuckles.

Instincts of self preservation roared in Ebitan as he tried to back away. "L...look. I was only following orders."

"No excuses!" Akane snatched the pole out of his hands and punted him off the ark. She was delighted to see that, from his trajectory, he would probably clear at least thirty miles. That was nearly twice as far as her best kick against Happosai. She really had improved her martial arts skills.

The sound of weapons being drawn caught her attention. Three of the remaining five opponents: an attractive woman with a musical instrument, a bearded man with a polearm, and a large...lump of a man, came menacingly towards her. The remaining two, a pair of twins, helped Ki Rin regain his feet.

Akane slowly retreated, trying to get more room to maneuver. Her backward progress was stopped abruptly when she ran into something behind her. She turned to see the offending object was an odd lever that poked out from the deck itself.

"Don't touch that lever!" the bearded man, Bishamonten warned.

"You mean this one?" Akane smirked as she pulled it, and was delighted to see her action rewarded when the forward section of the foredeck, where all of her opponents were, began to rotate. It spun around, hurling all of her would-be kidnappers towards the ground below.

Akane's smile disappeared as a sudden realization occurred to her. Thinking quickly, she used Ebiten's rod and cast a line towards Ki Rin. Only luck enabled her to snare his arm and prevent him from plummeting towards the ground with the others. With a great deal of difficulty, she was able to reel the man in, dumping him unceremoniously next to her.

Ki Rin regained his feet and stared at his savior in surprise, then smiled. "I had thought you didn't desire to wed me. I see you have changed your mind. Hardly surprising." He smiled smugly and brushed back his cape with as much flare as he could muster.

"Actually, I just wanted to make it very clear to you why you shouldn't go around abducting young women for your perverted schemes." Akane smacked a fist into her open palm for emphasis.

Ki Rin appeared irate. "You possess the other half of the scroll. It is our destiny to be wed."

"Funny thing about 'destiny'." Akane took a step towards him. "Sometimes it doesn't quite work out the way you think it would."

"I see you have spirit," Ki Rin proudly stated. "All I need do is tame it. Only then can we become one."

"Oh, you're about to become one with something all right." Akane began to glow dull blue.

The rest of the much vaunted 'Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists' crashed into the ground with a loud boom. The heaviest member, Muu, was first, making a huge impact crater as he hit. The others landed on his form, which cushioned their own rather painful landing. Despite that, it was only with a great deal of pain that they were able to regain their footing.

The woman, Mon Lon, looked high above at the ark, and winced when she saw Akane smash Ki Rin into the deck several times. "Our prince is in trouble!" she shouted to the others, hoping to rouse them to battle. Her horror grew when she saw Akane stop driving Ki Rin into the deck, only to rip up large sections of the ship with which to bash him.

"We have to save hi-" the rest was cut off as she discovered an energy sword thrust under her nose. She turned to see the wielder was Ryoko wearing her red and black skin-tight battle outfit.

"So, you wanted to kidnap someone, huh?" Ryoko growled menacingly. "That was a big mistake. You see, I was abducted and held captive by someone once, and I don't have a whole lot patience with those kinds of people."

Little wooden boxes surrounded Ayeka as she switched to her Juraian battle garb. "I too was abducted by the same man that took Ryoko, and I too suffered at his hands. My tolerance for kidnappers is not... generous either."

The remaining five martial artists learned what it meant to get on the bad side of the galaxy's most wanted space pirate and a Jurain princess. But, as Mon Lon would state many years later, the pain eventually went away.

"Hey, Akane. Guess what Ki Rin did today," Minami said as Akane sat down in her seat.

Akane felt another headache coming on. Ki Rin refused to take no for an answer. Instead of trying to kidnap Akane once more, he swore that he would one day capture her heart and take her as his bride. He had tried everything he could to woo her. He bought her expensive baubles, flowers, her own flying ark, a whole ton of pickled vegetables and rice, anything he could think of to try to win her over. The gifts ended up producing the opposite effect they were intended to have. She was not the sort of girl that could be bought with shiny trinkets, and that he would imply such a thing did nothing but make her grow increasingly hostile towards him. The only beneficial thing he had done was scare away several other annoying suitors for her hand. And even then it hurt her pride that she was not the one chasing them off. She could take care of herself.

Akane was getting to the point where she thought it might be a good idea to start pummeling him in the hopes he would get the hint, when Minami explained to him that Akane couldn't stand arrogant egomaniacs that forced themselves upon women. Akane had watched as, amazingly enough, he seemed to consider the words and wandered off. It was the first time he had actually listened to someone give him advice.

Now Minami was grinning broadly at some action Ki Rin had taken. That meant trouble. "What did he do now?" Akane forced herself to say.

"I have taken a job at this school so that I may learn what it means to be humble."

Akane nearly fell over as Ki Rin seemingly appeared out of nowhere. She looked him over to see that, sure enough, he was wearing a pair of overalls rather than the usual expensive raiment he usually went about in. "You mean you took a job as a janitor?"

"I prefer the term, 'waste management technician', if you don't mind." He brushed back a stray lock of hair. "I have even gone so far as to forsake my wealth and shall live on what I make through gainful employment."

Akane looked at him in disbelief. Was he actually telling the truth? He reduced himself to mopping floors and cleaning toilets to try to impress her?

Ki Rin stood up proudly upon a desk and shouted to the world. "I shall be the best waste management technician the world has ever seen! All will acknowledge me is the mightiest in the land! Hahahaha!"

Akane just shook her head. So much for humility.

It was nearing two months since Ki Rin had accepted his new job, when Minami approached Akane during school. The ghost sweeper hadn't said much at the time. All she had asked for was to meet Akane in the dead of night in a deserted park. Nothing out of the ordinary there, assuming she wanted Akane to help her hunt ghosts or something.

Rather than disturb the others, and possibly have to explain her actions, Akane sneaked out to rendezvous with Minami. Halfway there, the rain began to fall in a heavy downpour, soaking her to the bone instantly. It didn't take her long to regret not bringing an umbrella, or going out to meet Minami period. Akane wasted no time as she hurried through the rain, hoping she would arrive at the park at any second so she could get out of the awful downpour.

When she finally reached her destination, she saw that the ghost sweeper was already there. Minami was wearing her shrine maiden's outfit, looking every inch the demon fighter she had become in spite of being soaking wet. There was no reaction from the girl as Akane approached, save for her eyes, which tracked Akane's movement as she got closer. Once she was near enough, Akane looked past the water splattered glasses and directly into Minami's eyes, seeing a seriousness that was almost never present in her friend. A slight unease began to make its presence known

"We need to get out of this rain." Akane felt proud of how steady her voice was in spite of the nervousness she felt.

Minami shook her head. "I think it would be better if we stayed right where we are. Somehow, it's appropriate that what comes next should occur while being drenched with water. Water has played such an important role in your life, after all. It was magic water that brought your one-time fiancé, as well as your chief rival, to you. It was water that triggered their changes. It was water that would have held the cure. Water, water, water, water, water. So important to your life before. So important to your life now. Even after all the time that has passed, water once again becomes the focal point of your life."

"The storm doesn't bother me that much," Akane assured her, hoping Minami would get back to normal soon. The ghost sweeper's disturbing behavior was really setting her on edge.

Minami laughed. A laugh that sounded painful and hid back something. "Not the storm, Akane. Tears."

"Tears?"

"Yes, tears." The smile Minami gave unsettled Akane even more. "You've spilled enough of them since Ranma abandoned you."

"Shut up." Anger replaced unease. That was past her. It was over now. She didn't need to be reminded of him. Minami should have known better.

"Little Akane, still crying over her lost love."

"I said shut up," Akane said more quietly than the first time. Why was Minami doing this to her? It was over, had been for well over a year. Just because she was over it didn't mean she wanted those terrible memories reawakened.

"Left behind like a piece of unwanted garbage. The poor little girl that couldn't even hold onto her man."

"Shut up!"

"What kind of a girl can't even do that? Maybe you should swear off your womanhood, like Ukyou did. That might be for the best, right? I mean, you are pretty unfeminine."

"I SAID SHUT UP!" The welled up anger burst forth as Akane was instantly in motion, grabbing Minami by the collar of her robes and hoisting her up into the air as though she weighed nothing.

Minami appeared unfazed by Akane's actions. If anything, she actually seemed to be amused. "You shouldn't threaten a ghost sweeper. It could be bad for your continued health."

"Why are you doing this to me?!" Akane sobbed as she could feel the tears from her eyes mingle with the rain.

"Because you're over Ranma. You said so yourself many times. And I can tell by your actions you told me nothing but the truth." Minami's voice held a mocking tone.

"I am." Akane tried to keep her voice from cracking. In the heavy rain, she thought the catch to it might even have been missed...by a deaf man. It wasn't fair. She was over Ranma. There had been no tears for months. Should have been no tears for the rest of her life. Not over him.

"I see. Well, now, I guess you won't be interested in how you can change everything that happened to you."

Something awakened deep inside Akane, then. Something she had thought gone a long time ago, yet it had only taken several words to bring it forth, alive and well, lashing about in her mind.

It was hope.

Akane tried to dismiss the feeling. "What the hell are you talking about?! Did something happen to Shampoo?" She hoped nothing bad had happened to Ranma. Surely not him.

"Last I heard there were somewhere in India looking for a cure." Minami answered. "Knowing them, they're probably screwing somewhere. Maybe in the rain in their cursed forms. You know how Shampoo used to act around Ranma when they were cursed. Couldn't keep her eyes off that delicious redhead, right?"

Akane felt rage burn through the hope. She drew her fist back, intent not in simply striking Minami, but grinding her bones into powder for tormenting her this way.

"You can change all of that."

Once again, Akane felt her anger subside as Minami dangled the 'carrot' before her eyes. She was being thrown from one extreme to the next. Akane could feel herself approaching a breaking point she had thought long past. The edge of it was right before her. "Explain yourself," she finally managed to get out.

"Put me down first."

Akane did as she was bade, but allowed her fist to remain balled up. Anger was still there, so much rage just waiting to bubble forth. In many ways it was like a year hadn't passed, and that everything was the same as the day she knew Ranma had finally chosen Shampoo. Still, Akane longed for his touch.

Minami cleared her throat as the rain continued to strike her glasses, obscuring almost all of her eyes. What little could be seen made her appear almost insane in the dim moonlight. "I found a way you can change everything. All it would take are a few of the tears you seem to have hidden away for so long. Just one, actually."

"Quit talking in riddles! Tell me exactly what you mean!" Akane could feel her temper beginning to break once more.

Minami's mask of amusement disappeared as she pulled a mirror, hidden within the confines of her robes, out for Akane to see.

"What is it?" Akane asked.

"This is the ticket to achieving your heart's desires. It was one of the magic objects Happosai had tucked among his many things, although by the Black Rings of Amadora I don't know how he got his hands on it. It took me forever to figure out what it was, but now I know for certain. This is one of a set of three magic mirrors. They were incredibly powerful items. With them, one can travel through space and time instantly. What we have here is an object that can allow the possessor to walk through the ages themselves.

"Would you like to see the signing of the Magna Carta? How about Nero playing his fiddle while Rome burned? You could ask Einstein his theories up close and personal. It's the only way I can see us passing Professor Washuu's advanced special relativity class. Wait! I've got it! You could go to Easter Island and see how those funky heads really got there.

"Or maybe, just maybe, you could change the way your life turned out."

Akane just stood there, her fist at last unclenching. Her mind was just barely able to grasp what Minami was saying. Change her life? It had to be some kind of sick joke.

"No. I'm dead serious," Minami answered, guessing the thoughts of Akane. "All it takes to activate it is a tear, something you have plenty of when it comes to Ranma Saotome, yes?"

She wanted to say no, that it wasn't true, that she was over him, but the words failed to leave her mouth.

Minami remained where she was, holding the mirror out towards Akane in an offering gesture. "Choose a time when you want to go back, let a tear fall upon the mirror's surface, and it will take you to the time period you ask for. Then all you have to do is visit the younger version of yourself and the two of you can figure out what you did wrong and win Ranma's heart the first time around. It would correct only the biggest mistake of your life. All you have to do is cry."

Akane took the offered object and looked down at the mirror's surface. It was awash with the water falling from the sky. The Tears of God were already dotting its surface, yet nothing happened. But her tears could do it, if Minami was telling the truth. She could summon them now and change her life for the better. Yes. In hindsight she could change everything and have Ranma fall in love with her. She would be the one he kissed, proudly announcing to the world that Akane Tendo was the one he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Then they could be married as soon as possible; the day after he declared his love would be good. Yes. And she wouldn't be alone any more. That touch she longed for would be hers once again. She could hear his voice grumble about how she couldn't cook worth a damn, was uncute and flat-chested, and then she would kiss him and his wonderful insults that masked how he really felt about her. All would be right with the world.

And she could keep Tarou from dying. Yes! Of course! That too. That was it. He would still be alive, and she could continue to train with him and enjoy his no-nonsense, if brusque, behavior and his companionship, to have him alive too.

Why stop there? She could go further back, back to the time when her mother was still alive and maybe they could diagnose her disease much earlier and save her. Oh, to have her mother alive. It would be so wonderful to see her in the kitchen, raising all of her daughters just as things should have been. And her father would be so happy, almost like the man he was now that he was married to Silk. All of those wasted years the family suffered, eradicated in the blink of an eye. And to see her mother's face, lacking the horrible pain that was in all of the few memories that Akane had of her. Just to see that smiling, happy face that Kasumi described so well, yet Akane could only imagine. It would be wonderful.

Of course her soon-to-be born sister would never exist then. Her sibling, which was only a month or two away. Akane was already looking forward to actually seeing her when she was born. Nabiki, who was also looking forward to the birth of yet another sister, was already placing bets on which Tendo girl she would look the most like. After all, Silk was a virtual dead ringer for their mother, so maybe the girl would look like Akane. Somehow, she felt sort of flattered by that idea.

But to go back and affect the past might jeopardize that birth. Actually it would almost surely destroy it. Could she bring herself to do that? There were no assurances she could even save her mother, for that matter. Would Akane be able to live with herself if, in spite of her best efforts, her mother died anyway?

Let the dead rest in peace. Yes. Her mother, may she be happy with kami-sama, should be left where she was, no matter how much it hurt. That pain was behind Akane. So she could just go back to a time after her mother's death but before Ranma arrived. Then she could tell the younger version of herself what would happen, and what she could do to prevent Ranma from falling in love with Shampoo, and instead fall in love with herself.

For a moment, Akane paused to consider what she would do if someone who looked like her claimed to come from the future and told her she would fall for some strange guy she had never even heard of. Would the younger version of herself believe the story? Probably not. And even if she did, how exactly would Akane go about winning Ranma under those circumstances? If the younger version of her seemed to know too much about him, might that just scare him, make him harder to win over? Maybe. And if she interfered with things that early, the future from that point onward would become nearly impossible to predict. She had learned enough from Professor Washuu about basic time travel to admit it was probably correct, and that all it would take was one little difference to change everything from that moment onward into something unrecognizable. All it would take would be for the 'butterfly to flap its wings' to eventually cause a hurricane on the far side of the world.

How many lives would be changed by her interference? Did it matter? She would have Ranma. Wasn't that worth any risk? Worth any sacrifice? Like the arrival of Natsume and Kunumi? Like that of Silk and her father's happiness?

Like that of an unborn sister?

But it was all for happiness: hers and Ranma's. That made it worthwhile. That made it worth any risk. She and Ranma would be happy...

...except Ranma was already happy. He had made his choice, and she could tell from his voice behind the door, that day he had finally told her by apologizing, that he had meant what he said. There had been pain in his voice, but not doubt. Oh, how much it had hurt Akane to accept that horrible truth, that he had known who he loved and there were no regrets about that, just lamentations that he had hurt others with his choice. But he had made it all the same.

That meant it was all for her. Just her happiness. She would risk changing everything, affect everyone's lives, her new sisters, the one to come, her father's new-found happiness, all for her desires.

No. All for just one desire.

Ranma.

Minami watched as she picked out a tear, one single tear among the deluge of other streaks of water that fell down her face, go from Akane's eye, travel down her cheek until it reached her chin, then fell and struck the surface of the mirror.

Nothing happened.

Minami watched as Akane's shoulders seemed to slump slightly, then stiffen with resolve. Slowly she handed the mirror back to Minami.

"I don't want that anymore."

Minami's mask of insane glee disappeared, only to be replaced by a much more satisfied one. "It's about time you said goodbye to him."

Akane looked softly at her friend. A truer friend than she had ever suspected. "Yes. It is."

"Want to come over to my place?" Minami offered.

Akane shook her head. "I think I need some time to adjust to this. I need to be alone to do it."

Minami nodded her head in understanding.

Akane was about to turn, when one last thought occurred to her. "What are you going to do with the mirror?"

Minami looked Akane in the eye, then held the mirror out before her. "What anyone with the common sense of a dog would do with an object as powerful as this."

And she threw it down on the ground, shattering the glass into a thousand tiny fragments.

"Those that seek to change the past will never truly be happy with any present, even the ones they believe they create." Minami looked soberly at Akane. "You aren't the only one who has a past they'd like to change. For better or for worse, I'll take the present I've got now. Sometimes it stinks, but overall it could be worse."

"Meet before school, same as always?" Akane asked in a far more normal tone of voice.

"Of course," Minami said as she began the long walk back to her home, opposite the direction of Akane's.

Akane watched the ghost sweeper's form end up consumed by the darkness, while she remained standing alone there for some time. Perhaps she was alone, but curiously, it did feel as though something was at long last put to rest inside her. The rain, which had been a depressing deluge, suddenly became a cleansing flow. She held her face towards the sky and allowed the full effects of the liquid to purge her of what resentment had remained hidden deep inside her. It felt good to be truly alive once more.

Eventually the rain went from being cleansing to just making her wet and uncomfortable. Akane decided it would be a very good idea to return home, so she hurried back, taking the time to skip through the puddles as though she were a child again. The weight had been removed from her shoulders. She felt so much better now that she had truly resolved the matter of her heart. There was little doubt that she would think wistfully of her lost love from time to time, but at last she could truly get on with her life, and apologize to those she had shut out of it for far too long.

As she made her way past the wall surrounding the dojo, she saw that, even at that late hour, she had an unexpected visitor. He wasn't enough to bring down her good mood, but her spirit was dampened a little bit. All men were still compared with Ranma in her mind, and he unquestionably fell short in her eyes. Hopefully she could break herself of that particular habit in the near future, though.

"What do you want, Ki Rin?"

As he turned to answer her, Akane immediately noticed there was something different about him. It was easy to see. The usual arrogant swagger, the one he possessed even when he was on his knees cleaning toilets, was missing. He seemed almost...normal.

"Greetings on this evening, Akane Tendo." He did bow for her, but even that seemed different, lacking the air of superiority it usually possessed. What was going on? He didn't have anything in his hands, and he almost always visited bearing gifts.

"It's late." Which was true. Akane wasn't sure what would bring him out at that time of night. Usually he timed his visits after school, before dinner, so he could invite her out to eat. An invitation she always refused.

"I wanted to tell you something I just discovered, but I was afraid to awaken your family. So I leaped up to your window, just to knock on it, really. My intentions were noble. When I saw that you weren't there, I chose to wait outside for your return. Forgive me if I was impertinent."

Once again Akane was struck by the difference in Ki Rin. He seemed so...sincere. "Don't worry about it. What was so important that you felt the urge to wait up for me this late at night?"

And then she saw the Chinese youth give a smile. Not the haughty grin he usually bore, but rather a soft grin that showed genuine amusement.

"All of this time I have been shouting out how humble I am in taking such a 'lowly' job, and renouncing my wealth back home. During this entire time, I never understood why no one seemed to think I was humble." He turned his head away from her for a moment, then turned back. "I pondered that enigma for quite some time, and you know what I finally realized?"

Akane thought she did, but it would be for the best if he was the one to say it.

"A humble, I mean a truly humble person, does not shout out how humble he is. He simply is." Once again he gave that now innocent smile. "I can't believe how blind I've been. Looking back, I understand what I did wrong. Not just here, but back home too. I've been an arrogant popinjay."

"Go on."

Ki Rin stared at her for a moment, then began to laugh, although he caught himself before it became too loud and disturbed someone. "You see, not all that long ago I would have been irritated by that and denied it, but no longer." He brushed back some errant strands of wet hair from his face. "Now I'm just irritated."

Akane arced an eyebrow quizzically at that. "At me?"

"At myself for being that way. I know I'm not going to change overnight. I might not even change all that much, but at least I am aware of my behavior. That is the first step to truly understanding what humility means. Correct?" As he finished saying that, a hesitant look crept across his face. "Akane Tendo. Akane, I hope you won't be offended by this, but even if things do not work out between us, even if you maintain the very legitimate disdain you had for me since the first time we met, I have still gained something invaluable from knowing you. You have my thanks."

She stood there staring at him, not so much from being moved by the moment, but just because she had no idea of what to say.

"I would take my leave of you now." He bowed gracefully before her, then turned to go.

"Wait."

Ki Rin turned in surprise at the sound of her voice.

"I'll be right back." Akane darted inside the house, only to return a moment later with an umbrella. She handed it to Ki Rin. "Make sure you give it back to me tomorrow."

He bowed before her once more, then left. She remained where she was for several minutes, staring in the direction he had taken. Once she was satisfied he had truly left, and that she had a few moments alone to think about what had just happened, she turned to look up at the raining skies.

"Interesting timing there," she said to the heavens above. "I don't know if that's supposed to be some kind of weird sign or something, but don't hold your breath. I still think he's irritating as hell, and I'm not convinced this isn't just some phase he's going through." She continued considering things before speaking once again. "Still, I might give him a chance. I might give someone else a chance too. I'm just going to play it by ear."

The way her life had gone, she half expected some kind of an answer to what she had said, but none followed. Giving a little chuckle at her own silly behavior, she went inside. No matter what happened, she felt a lot better about herself than she had in a long while. It was time to get on with the rest of her life.

And now she was.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks to Jurai-Knight for making some idle speculation that ended up becoming a full scene.

And as always, special thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Bloodblade  
Jurai-Knight  
Gary Kleppe  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara (I need you email address again)  
Bryan Smith  
Wade Tritschler

and Ryoucilo for persistence


	42. Epilogue 2: It's Time to Spread Love Around

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Epilogue 2

"It's Time to Spread Love Around!"

All C+C is desired. You can contact me at:  
sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters or any from other series mentioned in this story.

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also put it on his webpage at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Slashley also has it at:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tatewaki Kunou contemplated what course his life should now take. Many hours over the ensuing month since his return from China had been spent sitting pensively as he thought, and thought, and thought, and yet he still could not come to a decision. Even the cross-legged position he sat in on the floor seemed to mock his indecisiveness. A prosthetic leg had been attached to the stump that was at the root of all of his problems. The current ones anyway.

He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself and locate his center, and failed once again. His bitter soul remained in torment from his disfigurement, and he was still at a loss as to what to do. He had forsaken the sword -considering his condition, he had little choice in the matter- and yielded his role as leader of the kendo club to another, while he trying to determine what more needed to be done. There was still the option of taking his life, but that held very little appeal to him. He was not a coward. If the situation deemed it necessary he would commit seppuku, but it just did not seem to be the right thing to do.

As he tried meditating further, the faint echo of footsteps in the corridor interrupted his concentration. They were not the heavy footfalls of his father, who, remarkably, had been trying to console his son's loss as best he could. Nor was it the light sound his sister made when she glided across the floor; she had remained in China with her lover. Nor would it be Sasuke; the small ninja made even less noise as he walked, preferring to creep around the manor for even the most mundane of tasks. Guests were practically unheard of at Kunou manor. Perhaps it was an intruder, but if so, he should have run into Sasuke, or one of the traps spread out among the grounds of the estate.

The footfalls paused outside the door of his room. The steps had been unerring; whoever the visitor was, he had known Kunou was there. Kunou's back remained to the door as it was quietly opened.

"Master, there is a girl here to see you," Sasuke's voice came from behind him.

Kunou was about to bark out how he had not wanted to be disturbed when his mind fell on one of the words. 'Girl.' A girl had come to see him? "Allow her to enter."

It took him a moment to undo his legs from the position they were in before he stood. He still wasn't used to the prosthetic leg. That knowledge served to dampen the feelings of joy that had begun to blossom in his chest. Before they had been completely doused, Sasuke ushered the girl inside.

The girl bowed before Kunou. "Umm. Hello. Do you remember me?" The girl spoke in a hesitant voice, obviously waiting with great trepidation over the answer.

Kunou looked the girl over closely. The dress was obviously of Furinkan origin, yet he could not place her face. That was most peculiar. She was very attractive, and the way her hair was braided with those two large circles on the top of her head was most distinctive...

"You are the Devil Hunter whom I rescued from that evil demon several months ago."

Yohko Mano nearly passed out from joy. He had remembered her, even if he was exaggerating his role a bit. Still, to have a man that good-looking want to save her was reason enough to swoon. "Thank you ever so much for that help."

"It was a pleasure." He bowed once again, feeling better. There was something about the girl's attentions that seemed different when compared to the fascination other women had for him, and it produced a most curious sensation in him. He approached her slowly, still not having fully adapted to his new limb.

Yohko could not help noticing Kunou's pronounced limp. "What happened to your leg?"

A wave of sorrow once again washed away the pleasant mood Yohko's attentions had given him. He raised his hakima high enough to allow Yohko to see his replacement appendage. "I'm afraid I lost it in a duel. I was not... good enough."

"Oh no!"

Kunou's misery doubled as he saw Yohko's look of horror. He should have known that even she would mock him for being less than a full man. Why, even now tears were forming in her eyes. He watched as her mouth opened and then waited for the cry of disgust that would escape her lips.

"This is all my fault!"

Kunou facefaulted.

"I'm sorry!" Yohko continued as well as she could between her bawls. "It was a demon, wasn't it?! That's what always happens to any guy I get interested in! They're either sacrificed, or possessed, or end up being illusions. And now a demon attacked you to get at me. It's just not fair!"

"Actually, though he almost seemed as swift as a demon, he was not one."

Yohko's tears dried up, though she continued to sniffle. "Are you sure?"

Kunou described everything that had happened to him in China, embellishing greatly on his fight with Utsutu Mujuru as though it were the focal point of the whole adventure.

Yohko was visibly relieved. "Thank goodness I wasn't to blame, not that I'm happy you lost your leg," she quickly added.

Kunou simply nodded, depressed once again by the fate that had slipped his grasp. There was nothing that could be done.

Yohko cleared her throat to regain his attention. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you a favor."

"Yes?"

Yohko brought her hands together in front of her and began twiddling her thumbs. Her gaze became transfixed by the action. "Well, you see, I just transferred to Furinkan and dropped by to say hello."

"Do not allow my father to cut that wondrous hair of yours," Kunou warned.

"Ah, okay," Yohko answered, momentarily confused, but not failing to notice the 'wondrous' reference concerning her hair. "Well, here it is. It's kind of something I've been meaning to do but never got around to doing." She took a deep breath and went for the plunge. "You're really good with swords, and my primary weapon is my soulsword, I don't think I'd have won half of my fights without it, and since I rely on it so much I think I should get better. Since you're such an expert swordsman, I wanted to ask if you'd teach me how to use it better."

"I cannot," Kunou said solemnly.

"If it's a money thing, I can pay you." Yohko admitted to herself she had hoped he would simply jump at the opportunity to spend time with her, but if it took spreading a little cash to hang around with the cute guy, then that was all there was to it.

"It is not about money. I have forsaken the path of the warrior." Kunou kept the anger out of his voice. It had been a difficult decision, but an obvious one.

"Why?"

Apparently to all but Yohko. "Look at my leg! I am but half a man. And nothing more than a complete man can be a true warrior."

Yohko stared at Kunou, bewildered. "Umm. Didn't you say that guy you fought was a true warrior?"

"Yes." Kunou had thought he had explained it quite thoroughly.

"He was really good with his sword and at least your equal, right?"

"Yes."

"Wasn't he blind?"

"Of course he was. I mentioned that to you several times."

"If he can be blind and still be a true warrior, why can't you lose a leg and still be one too?"

Kunou fell silent. Yohko watched on as the slow look of realization dawned on his face. He began trembling in excitement as a manic gleam, one that had not made an appearance since China, at last returned.

He grabbed Yohko and jumped up and down with her. "By all the Gods, you speak true! I can still be a true warrior! This loss was nothing more than a test of my resolve, and one I would not have passed had it not been for you!"

Yohko was jumping up and down in as much joy. "Does that mean you'll go out with me?!"

"For the assistance you have rendered to me, I shall allow you to date me!"

It was Yohko's turn to grab Kunou and jump up and down with him. She had it all now! A cute guy that quoted poetry, was heroic, didn't mind the fact she hunted demons for a living (a REALLY big plus), and could defend himself when the need would arise. There was probably some drawback to him, but whatever it was she could overlook it.

Life was good for Yohko Mano.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Now remember, don't show any weakness in front of my mother. She's the one you want to impress."

"Of course, Mousse-sama."

"But don't be too boisterous."

"Of course, Mousse-sama."

"You have to be firm, but not unyielding. Have power, but not have to show it. You have to be-"

"Like an Amazon, yes?"

"Err...yes. Like that." Mousse wondered exactly what was going to happen. When he had told Kodachi he was going to move back to his home, she had announced she was going along too, naturally. "After all," she had said, "I should meet my love's parents. It would not do to cement the bonds of our relationship without meeting them first." Mousse understood what the code words, 'cement bonds' meant, and figured Kodachi probably had already picked out her wedding dress.

So the two of them disembarked from TWPOS before it had attempted its fold. They had not been the only ones. All of the Amazons, save Shampoo and Silk, had also gotten off and headed back to Joketsuzoku. The only unusual addition to that lot had been Kasumi Tendo, though Mousse had no idea as to why she was going along. The only thing that seemed unusual about her was that she was very pale and stayed extremely close to Cologne's side. He didn't bother to ask why. Being near the dried-up piece of mackerel jerky that had been a thorn in his side for years was the last thing he needed, so he avoided the party of Amazons altogether. All the wizened elder represented to him now was a reminder of a broken dream that could never be fixed.

A surge of emotion shot through him once more as he thought about the ship. Yesterday, he had not been able to see Shampoo off; the pain would have been too great. When she had come by and informed him that she would be going away, and that she quite possibly wouldn't return, he had felt the final dying of his love.

Ranma's returning of her feelings was what had finally, truly done it. Before that moment, hope, no matter dismal it was, had been within him. That was true no longer. If he had thought the love Shampoo's eyes had held for Ranma before Mount Phoenix was painful, what was there after was deadly. She had said Ranma's name only once during their conversation, but the emotion it held had been enough for something inside Mousse to accept what it meant and finally give up for all time. Denial gave way to understanding. There was nothing in Heaven and Earth that he could do to change her heart in the slightest. It was now over in the truest sense of the word. Forever. There was nothing left to do, so he found himself returning to somewhere that he would be wanted. Home.

He scratched at the burn marks around his neck. The healing salve Doc Sangre had given him had taken the edge off the pain, but the blackened welts would be there for weeks and the scar would never heal. And the migraine headaches he had been suffering might very well be with him for the rest of his life as well. Another wonderful thing to look forward to. At least the aspirin helped.

His gaze traveled to Kodachi, who was happily walking alongside him. It was still something of a shock to him that her presence made things feel at least a little better. Then again, perhaps it should not have surprised him. From her, he had received that which he had offered to Shampoo: unconditional love, something his lonely soul craved now more than ever after what had happened. All that was left was to figure out what to do with it. She had stood by him even through the worst of times, never willingly leaving his side. He knew he cared for her, but doubted it was love. It was similar to what he had felt for Shampoo, but different at the same time. It lacked the burning intensity that had marked his desire for Shampoo. It was an unfamiliar feeling for him, one that was going to take a while to figure out.

The best place to think things out would be in the safe and friendly environment of home. It had been nearly a year since he had last set eyes upon his family and residence. True, Japan had been an easy place to get used to, and the males possessing the dominant role was very appealing, but it was not the place he had grown up. Joketsuzoku was. Whatever drawbacks living there had, they were easily offset by the joy of simply being there.

Kodachi's presence there was going to make things a bit difficult. Making friends had never been a high priority for her, and she seemed to rub people the wrong way. Actually, if he did not manage to extend some sort of protection towards her, the odds of her receiving a challenge were good, and since her fighting abilities were superior to about nine out of ten of the warriors, a kiss of death would probably soon follow. So it would fall to Mousse to persuade his mother to officially accept Kodachi as a guest and extend to her that desired protection.

That was why he was trying so hard to make Kodachi's first impression a good one. It could all come down to that first meeting. Generally his mother, Lo Ling, was an easy person to get along with, but every now and then she would be in a foul mood for no apparent reason. Hopefully that would not be the case, but one never knew, and it was always best to prepare for the worst.

There was also the problem of exactly how his mother would react to the idea that her only child wanted to have a relationship with an outsider. Mousse's clan was far from being prominent. They weren't held in disgrace, but they had no real influence and none of the current generation of children showed any promise of making any great strides for the family. Once he was older, Mousse began to wonder if perhaps part of his mother's encouragement of his pursuit of Shampoo was in the hopes that the family would gain a little influence if he married the girl who could very well have been the next matriarch. In any case, if he did end up marrying Kodachi (which might not ever happen, regardless of what the Black Rose thought about 'destiny') that would be the end of anything resembling a political marriage. Still, his mother had always assured him that his happiness was all she really cared about. Now he would find out if that was the truth.

"Let me talk to her first," Mousse warned. "She'll be focusing on me anyway, so-"

"Mousse."

"Yes?"

"I know how to properly greet your mother."

"I don't think you understand. Some of the customs of my people are drastically different from yours," Mousse pointed out.

"I understand far more than you think," Kodachi assured him. "I went over the formalities of your people. I wanted to impress your parents and understand your culture, so I asked Cologne to teach me your ways. She knew from the first that we were meant to be together, so she told me everything I would need to know so that I could properly court you."

"Oh." Mousse remained silent after that. Apparently Kodachi really had planned quite far ahead. He began to wonder if he really stood a chance against her after all.

It took them the better part of the day, but at last the duo crested the top of a hill and saw their goal. The path Mousse had taken to Joketsuzoku wasn't the most direct one, but it did afford the best view of the village that could be taken in its entirety. Once within sight of his home, he felt a warmth in his heart. Never before had he appreciated how his village could look so beautiful when it appeared so simple, at least on the outside. It was such a contrast from the seemingly endless vista of concrete and steel that made up Japan, that he wondered how he could have ever felt so comfortable in that now far off land.

"It's beautiful."

Mousse was surprised by the sound of emotion in Kodachi's voice. He found it difficult to believe that she would find herself taken in by the village, since it was such a comparatively primitive environment when contrasted with being surrounded in her usual opulent wealth back home.

"I think I would like living here very much." Kodachi continued to stare at the intoxicating sight before.

Mousse was amazed to discover a part of him wanted her to stay there as well. He was suddenly seized by an odd compulsion, one he decided to act upon. "Take my arm and let me show you around."

Kodachi was taken aback. To do so would be something of a statement of what she meant to him. "Are you certain that's a good idea? I haven't been introduced to your mother yet."

"Don't worry about it. I know she'll adore you." He offered his arm to her, which she accepted with a squeal of delight.

Kodachi tried to keep herself from resting her head on Mousse's shoulder as he gave her a tour of the village. In spite of the relatively backward nature of the village, she found herself quite smitten by it. Exactly why, she could not say. Perhaps, she wondered, it was because of what the place might represent. A new life with the man she loved.

Most of the villagers gave the couple a curious glance before returning to what they were doing. Kodachi could feel a sense of urgency in the air, but assumed it was from the army that had been camped out on the borders of the village. It didn't seem likely her presence alone could cause that sort of disruption. She just relaxed and took in the scenery, trying to project an air of confidence to those around her. Above all other things, Cologne had emphasized the need to appear strong among the others of the village, especially the warriors.

At last they came upon Mousse's home at the edge of the village. Like many of the other buildings, it was a single story structure with a rather wide layout. The construction appeared quite solid to her untrained eye, and the blue and brown coloring appealed to her. A very nice place despite its simplicity. The kind, she decided, that she wouldn't mind owning herself. As long as she had someone to share it with.

She felt Mousse's nervous anticipation as he approached the front door, hesitating a moment before knocking. It took only a moment before the door was opened by a black-haired girl that appeared to be only slightly younger than Mousse.

He stared at her in surprise. "Rain! What are you doing here?"

"I live here now." She turned from Mousse and entered back into the house.

Kodachi stared suspiciously at the girl, then back to Mousse. "Who is that girl? You said you were an only child."

"That was my cousin, Rain," Mousse answered, still in shock at her presence.

The duo heard Rain shout from inside the house. "Hey, Auntie! Uncle! Guess what's blind, stupid, and just showed up on your doorstep."

As the pair entered, Kodachi saw Rain watching them with an amused grin as an attractive man that appeared to be somewhere in his forties, with long flowing black hair that fell halfway down his back, stepped out of the kitchen, towel still in hand. Kodachi knew instantly who he had to be and felt she would be a very lucky girl if Mousse aged half as well.

The man stared in surprise, then raced across the room and embraced Mousse. Kodachi's suspicions were confirmed when she heard the man say, "Son, it's been too long!"

Moments after his father embraced him, Kodachi saw a woman enter from one of the other rooms. The resemblance wasn't as strong as with the father, but Kodachi was confident it was Mousse's mother. Again her suspicions were confirmed when the woman raced across the room and tore her son out of his father's grasp. Kodachi saw that the man didn't look the least bit offended as he watched mother and son with a smile on his face.

After several moments, Lo Ling broke of the embrace and held Mousse at arms' length. She looked him over with both concern and a critical eye. "You haven't been eating too much, that's for certain."

"Mom," Mousse whined in the voice most children used when being embarrassed by their parents. Kodachi wondered if she had ever sounded like that when her mother was alive.

Lo began to run her hands over him, checking for injuries. She was rewarded by a wince when her hand brushed across his neck. "What's wrong?"

"I was electrocuted a few days ago. The wound's still healing."

Lo immediately opened the top of her son's robes and examined the wound herself. "It looks pretty bad. Have you any other injuries?" Her voice was laced with concern.

"Just headaches," Mousse answered, trying to reassure her he would be all right.

At last, Lo seemed to notice the companion he had arrived with. "Mu Tse, who is this girl?"

Mousse suddenly found his confidence faltering. "Well, you see..."

Kodachi stepped forward and dropped to one knee. "I am a friend of your son that honorably requests the protection of your roof for a time."

Lo seemed impressed by the proper phrasing of the request. "To you, who is friend to my son, I give you my protection for your stay, so long as you act with honor."

"I shall." Kodachi rose to her feet.

With that out of the way, Lo examined the girl more closely. "You are Japanese, yes?"

"Indeed."

"You speak well for an outsider," Lo commented. "What is your name?"

"Kodachi Kunou."

Lo examined Kodachi even more closely, then turned to Mousse. "I did not expect you to bring a guest, my son. I have a feeling there is more to this than a simple visit."

Mousse began to shift his feet nervously. "Kodachi, well... she has come to mean much to me since I was last here, and I was kind of wondering if it would be okay for us to... date."

Lo seemed mildly surprised by the revelation, but it was Rain who spoke the loudest. "HA! You gave up on Xian Pu? What happened? Did she die or something?"

"Yes. She did."

Mousse's parents stared at him in shock for a moment, then tried to comfort him. He felt guilty about lying to them, especially with the way they were treating him, but it was a necessary thing in order to protect Shampoo.

"I'm sorry, Mu Tse." Rain said sincerely, her offhanded treatment of her cousin replaced by concern.

He tried putting them at ease. "I knew long before it happened that she would never be mine. It hurts, but not as much as it would have if I hadn't accepted the truth a while ago. There is someone else that has been helping me with my grief."

He turned to look at Kodachi who, in turn, blushed at the attention. She was surprised at acting like a flighty school girl upon receiving his attentions.

Lo Ling noticed the effect Mousse was having on the newcomer and resisted the urge to smile. It appeared her son really had at last given up his futile quest to win Shampoo's heart and had turned his attentions to another. Perhaps that was for the best, even if she was an outsider. "I thank you for rendering assistance to my son. We may talk at length later to see if you are fit enough to have a relationship with him."

"I'll take her out back and see how good she fights!" Rain offered eagerly.

Mousse scowled in his cousin's direction. "And just why are you so happy about testing her? I thought you didn't like to fight."

"Because," Rain said slyly. "The sooner you two get hitched up, the sooner you move out and get a place of your own, and the sooner I can have your room for good."

Mousse just stared at her. "Since when did you start living in my room?"

"Since I refused to take my warrior vows and decided to become a farmer," Rain explained dryly. "Mother was not particularly happy with her oldest daughter refusing to 'take up her true responsibilities' and threw me out. Auntie and Uncle were kind enough to put me up while you were gone." She gave a wicked little look to Kodachi. "Marry him quick, before he starts obsessing about some other woman he can't have."

"Indeed," Lo added as she moved closer to Kodachi. "Mu Tse needs a firm hand to guide him. He's quite rambunctious when left on his own."

"Oh, I know. It took me months to get over his stubborn refusal to admit I'm a better match for him than that awful Xian Pu could ever be," Kodachi assured her as she, Lo, and Rain, headed outside.

Mousse remained where he was, watching helplessly as the women left the house. It seemed that his mother and Kodachi had hit it off well. Perhaps too well.

His father placed a comforting arm around his son's shoulder. "Well, say goodbye to what little freedom you once had. You're as good as married off now."

Mousse could do nothing other than groan in agreement.

Mousse looked at the spectacle before him. Months had passed since he and Kodachi had settled into Joketsuzoku, and things had changed quickly concerning some of the policies of the tribe, including the introduction of outsider women into it. Whereas once it was a rare thing to accept more than a handful a year, suddenly close to a dozen had been accepted after completing various trials to prove their worth. That there had been such an influx of new blood was good, it meant Kodachi would be just one more petitioner among a host of others, but Mousse wanted to know why the sudden expansion in numbers was occurring.

It took him a little while, but he thought he had managed to put things together. Cologne and Be Dea, the two most powerful and bitter arch-rivals on the council, were seen together frequently. Also Perfume was almost always with them. Somehow, the scar-faced Amazon had managed to influence the pair in some way, though exactly how, Mousse was uncertain. He saw little point in mentioning his observations to anyone. He could care less about politics and was nothing more than a 'mere' male in their eyes, beneath listening to in 'important matters'. Although there was a rumor of the men being granted more influence in the tribe, something Mousse would believe when he saw it happen.

There was also the other little detail he had figured out on his own, one that had nearly shattered his healed heart all over again. When he had first discovered it, he was so enraged with grief he nearly went to the middle of the village and announced to the world that Shampoo was still alive and cursed; his old love's betrayal of him hurt that much.

Fortunately for him, as well as Kodachi and perhaps his entire family, he had gone to Cologne first and revealed his discovery to her. Almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth she flung herself across the room and paralyzed him with a touch. She then proceeded to describe, in extraordinarily vivid detail, what would happen to everyone he cared about if he dared to reveal either that Shampoo was alive or what had happened involving some questionable actions of hers. Cologne had already discussed the matter with the concerned party, and the two had agreed upon taking steps to ensure that the truth of the matter was kept among those who had figured out the secret. That also meant Kodachi had to be warned to silence as well, since the rather elaborate fabrication would fall apart with an errant word to the wrong person.

After he calmed down, Mousse agreed to the terms. That part of his life was behind him; he just had to let go. It had taken him a while, but he came to terms with that he had discovered, even though it still brought a nauseous feeling to his stomach whenever he thought about it. Shampoo would undoubtedly learn the truth soon enough, then she would have to deal with the consequences of her actions.

It was none of his affair anymore. There were other, more important, things to worry about, like how Kodachi would fare in her petition to become an official member of the tribe. True, she could have become one simply by marrying him, but she wanted it made clear to those that had regarded her with disdain -basically those warriors that thought all outsiders were soft- that she was worthy of being granted the status through her abilities. Joining by marrying him would have been a cop-out to her, and she wanted to show all of the warriors Kodachi Kunou was 'more than capable of teaching a bunch of simple farm girls what it meant to ridicule one who was so much better than they.'

Kodachi's people skills really hadn't improved all that much since her arrival in Joketsuzoku, he admitted, but at least she got along well with his family.

"Are you sure you are ready for this?" Lo asked.

"You can still wait another week," Rain threw in before Kodachi could answer.

The Black Rose shook her head. "I am as ready as I shall ever be. Both of you have seen to that."

That was the truth. Kodachi still marveled at how quickly the two women had come to accept her with open arms. Moreover, she was surprised at her own reactions to their acceptance. Whenever Lo gave words of approval, Kodachi felt her pride swell, and when her words held disappointment, shame soon followed. That pattern of behavior had been duplicated for only one other person: Kodachi's mother. That she would react that way to someone whom she had only first met no more than two months ago still surprised her, but once she thought about it, perhaps it should not have been so astonishing. Kodachi had practically worshipped the ground her mother had walked upon, and after she passed on, it was not as though there had been anyone to fill the void.

Until now.

And Rain. Dear, sweet, sarcastic Rain. She had been another pleasant surprise. At first, the relationship the younger girl had with Mousse seemed to be one in which neither person particularly liked the other. However, that illusion was quickly shattered when it became clear that the two cared for each other deeply. It was similar to an older brother/younger sister relationship, with a great deal of (mostly) friendly bickering between the two. Not all that different from the relationship Kodachi had with her own brother, though Mousse's was a good bit warmer and less rivalistic.

Almost from the beginning Rain had accepted Kodachi, and that acceptance was returned. Rain's friendliness went beyond the desire to simply see Mousse married off and moved out of the house, (although she still openly insisted to Mousse that was her real motivation). Rain found Kodachi's independent streak similar to her own and felt they were kindred spirits, a feeling mirrored in Kodachi. And thus the two became friends.

Lo's hand fell on Kodachi's shoulder, snapping her out of her reminiscing. "You will do fine, future daughter-in-law."

Kodachi felt her heart soar with that. It was the first time Lo had ever used those words when referring to her. "I will not fail you, future mother-in-law." Kodachi bowed, then turned to deliver her petition before the Elder.

Only four members of the Counsel had gathered to witness the handing out of tasks to the day's petitioners. Now that the admissions were becoming more commonplace, most of them didn't bother to show up anymore.

Talcum, the one that was in charge of listening to the petitioners this day, looked the outsider over and frowned. That so many outsiders were suddenly being encouraged to join was going to lead to problems down the road. The pure lines would be watered down by the outsider blood, making the tribe weaker, not stronger. How unfortunate most of the others on the council did not feel the same way. She was tempted to give this newest girl some impossible task to prove her worth, but the reprimand she would receive from the others for her actions would negate any joy she would feel at helping to maintain the purity of the tribe.

Talcum carefully examined Kodachi as she stepped forward to make her request to become a full-fledged Amazon. At least the girl had spent several months with the tribe and all but joined a family already. That softened the blow for Talcum. "Your task is simple. You must defeat one of our warriors in combat." One of the better ones, of course. No need to go easy on the outsider. Just because she was of non-pure blood was no reason why she had to be weak too.

"Let me do it!" one of the warriors shouted before Talcum could choose. Kodachi recognized her as Li Sun, one of her loudest detractors. It appeared to Kodachi that she was going to enjoy her initiation.

Talcum nodded approvingly. The girl was good and from the looks she was shooting towards Kodachi, eager to see to it the outsider didn't join either. Without further discussion the two young women went to the battle tree and loosened up, each smiling wickedly at the other, each convinced the other would be the one to fall in defeat. The duo were all too eager to have this little contest underway, and after only a handful of moments, the match began.

Li Sun held her staff at the ready as Kodachi whipped out her ribbon and spun it in a circle, releasing a cloud of black rose petals. Li Sun was momentarily distracted by the unusual maneuver, and thus left herself open for Kodachi's ribbon to snake its way around her ankles. A second later, Kodachi tugged on the ribbon sending her opponent flying away.

"It appears even the Sun has fallen to my superior skills. OHHOHOHOHOHO!"

Talcum refrained from holding her head in her hands; it would have been undignified for an Elder to be seen that frustrated in public. Not only had another outsider now been inducted, but she had a REALLY annoying laugh as well. She did notice the recovered Li was staring evilly at Kodachi. Talcum approved of it. Li should have been enraged at being beaten so easily, although she should also have directed most of the anger towards herself for being so easily distracted. It was as she watched the angry Li that Talcum began to form a plan in her mind. Perhaps she could help this member of the younger generation, and in turn help herself. Some of the newer ideas Cologne and Be Dea had come up with were threatening to destroy tradition, and Talcum lacked the influence to change those ideas on her own. Perhaps there was a better way to go about preserving the true ways. If at least a core of beliefs, traditional ones of course, could be transferred to the younger generation intact, then perhaps the future of the tribe would be in safer hands. All Talcum would have to do was take Li Sun aside for a little while and talk to her, seeing if she would be an acceptable vessel for holding that core, and perhaps influencing others among her generation to see things that way too.

Even if she had known what was going on in Talcum's mind, none of those plans would have bothered Kodachi in the slightest. She was simply delighted at winning. She looked toward Mousse, letting him know that his days would soon be spent in eternal bliss with her, though his father also seemed to have placed the idea in Mousse's head that his days of 'freedom' had just ended as well, not that Mousse looked displeased at the prospect. It would only be a matter of days, thanks to the deal Kodachi had struck with Lo Ling. Now that she was a full fledged member of the tribe, the marriage would take place without delay.

Life was good for Kodachi Kunou.

Mousse watched in pride as Kodachi summarily dispatched her opponent. It had taken a couple months, but at last he had realized what the emotion was that he had felt for Kodachi as she first traveled at his side in their trip to Joketsuzoku, the one that he 'knew' was not love. He had been slightly off. It was not the intense burning he had felt for Shampoo, so he had made the mistaken assumption that it could not be love either. He was partially correct. It was not true love he had felt, just the first stages of affection, an affection that had grown over the last couple of months and had most likely already turned into love. And somehow, he knew that the feeling would continue to grow until it was, if not the blinding obsession he had felt towards Shampoo, a gentle fire by which he and Kodachi would warm themselves. And maybe, in the end, it would be every bit as intense as the one he had felt for so long for his one time 'purple-haired goddess.'

Life was good for Mousse.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"It was really fun meeting your parents, Ryouga-kun."

"Yeah. It was for me too." Ryouga still had the smile on his face from seeing both of his parents in the same room for the first time since he was about six. His tracking abilities in his cursed form had been responsible for the reunion. He had even brought along Shirokuro while he was at it. It seemed oddly appropriate, since the family dog was the one that had had the most contact with the various members of the Hibiki family over the last decade.

The reunion had been Kyoko's idea. A few months after returning to Japan and officially being a couple, she had insisted on meeting Ryouga's parents and telling them of their new status. At first, Ryouga had pointed out that his parents had the same lack of direction sense as he did and that it could conceivably take years to find them, even though he wanted to see them as well. Kyoko then asked why he didn't use his homing senses as a bat to find them. One facefault later, the two picked up some supplies and spent the next few days traveling to Honshu and Hokkaido to pick up his parents. Once again the damned curse had come in useful.

The reunion had gone extraordinarily well. Both parents adored Kyoko, and she them. After spending several days together, catching up on what had happened over the ensuing years (as well as tracking down parents that went to grab something from the refrigerator and didn't return in an hour), Ryouga decided to take a chance and return Kyoko to her home, hoping his family didn't wander off in his absence.

"You shouldn't worry about it," Kyoko said, as though reading his mind. "They did cuff themselves together to keep from roaming away. And even if they do, they'll still be together."

"Until one of them removes the handcuffs," Ryouga mentioned.

"I don't think they'll do that. They haven't seen each other in years. You know what that means." Kyoko began blushing.

"No. What?"

Kyoko blushed even more furiously. "You know, stuff married couples do."

Ryouga turned green. "They can't do that. They're my parents."

Kyoko giggled at that as she brushed back a few curly brown locks from her that had fallen in front of her face. She'd probably react the same way if someone had said something about her parents doing that sort of thing as well.

Ryouga found himself smiling at Kyoko's display of joy. There was something about making a girl laugh, her in particular, that made him feel unbelievably happy. He was with a girl that made him feel the happiest he had ever felt in his life. He had been afraid for so long that love would avoid him, or he'd screw things up, but here he had found a girl who he never seemed to say the wrong thing around. The only thing she appeared to be afraid of was him cheating on her, something that he didn't even think he was capable of doing even if he wanted to. Well, she did seem to get jealous of women that talked to him over long periods of time, but the anger was directed at them, not him. Outside of that, their relationship seemed perfect.

But that wasn't quite true. Even if he wanted to take the next step, there were things he had to do first. That thought triggered the first edges of a depression that was threatening to settle around him. He loathed shaking himself out of his happy mood, but he had thought long and hard about what he wanted to do, and the talk he had had with his parents convinced him of what he had to do.

"Kyoko, there's something I have to tell you. Something I don't think you want to hear, but I have to do it."

The effect that had was instantaneous. She dropped to her knees and grabbed his legs, bawling her eyes out. "I know what it is. I can tell by the sound of your voice. You want to dump me!"

"Nononono!" Ryouga protested. "It's not that at all!"

She stopped crying, though remained on the ground. "It's not?"

"No," he calmly reassured her. "I just want to leave you for a while."

That brought out an even harder deluge of tears. Maybe he should have worded that differently. Carefully he picked her up off the ground and made her look at him. "I'm leaving you because I think maybe I want to go on to...maybe the next stage in our relationship."

Kyoko stared at him in total confusion. "What stage? The abandonment stage?"

"No!" Ryouga insisted. "I want to keep seeing you. I want us to be together for..." The next part he said so softly that Kyoko missed it.

"What was that?" she asked.

"I said maybe...I'd like us to be together...you know...sort of, maybe... a long time."

"Really?"

"Yes," he insisted more loudly. Saying it the first time was the most difficult. The second time it came out of his mouth wasn't even half as tough as the first.

"Then why do you have to leave me?"

Ryouga looked down at the ground, then found the courage to say what had to be said. "If we do stay together...for a long time, I need to find a way to support us."

Kyoko gave a smile towards him. He really had thought about their future together. "You don't have to do it alone. We can do it together."

"No," Ryouga insisted. "It's the man's job to support his family."

Kyoko nearly swooned. He said family. She resisted the urge to embrace him, fearful that it would cause him to forget what else he wanted to say.

"And that means I need to figure out a way to get some money. It's not like I've had much schooling, and getting a decent, steady job is going to be tough for me. So that means I'm going to go out in the world and sort of try to see if I can find my fortune."

"But I don't want you to go," Kyoko pleaded. "Can't we just support ourselves together or something?"

"No. I'm the man. It's my job. There's also one other thing I have to do," he paused a moment before continuing. "I have to get rid of my curse."

"Why?" Kyoko had told him several times she thought he was sort of cute as a bat.

"Because I'm not a real man if I have it!" he shouted to the world. "Only if I can discover a cure will I be a whole man again."

"But Ryouga-kun, you are a real man," Kyoko insisted. "I wouldn't have fallen in love with you if you weren't. And I've never known you when you didn't have a curse. So that proves you're a real man."

"But I turn into a bat," Ryouga tried arguing.

"I may not be smart, but I know that what's in here," she pointed at the right side of his chest. "Is all that really matters."

"You mean what's in my lung is all that matters?"

"No. I meant your heart," Kyoko answered.

"That's on the other side of my chest."

"You know what I meant," Kyoko sighed, and made a mental note once again of where the heart was located in case there was another test on human anatomy at school.

Ryouga turned from her. It would be difficult to speak if he had to see her loving stare. It wasn't like he wanted to go, but he had to. "Well, I don't feel like a whole man. I have too many problems that I need to work out. I won't let myself burden you. I'll find a way to support us and become a rea-"

"HELP, RYOUGA-KUN!"

Ryouga turned to see that two burly men had grabbed Kyoko and were running off with her. He stared at them in shock for a moment before coming to his senses. "Give her back!" he shouted as began to pursue the kidnappers.

The chase was on. Much to Ryouga's surprise, the men ran quickly with Kyoko. Even trying his hardest, he barely managed to keep them in sight. The two times he did lose track of them, he would see them at the far end of a street, almost as though they were waiting for him, then the chase would continue. Eventually the men ran with their struggling hostage into the back entryway of a huge arena. Ryouga followed them, trying as hard as he could to keep from losing them in the crowd, and most likely for good. The chase continued until the two kidnappers darted into the packed to the rafters arena itself, Ryouga losing sight of the pair for the briefest of moments. He rushed into the arena as fast as he could and was stunned when he heard the public announcement system shout out his name.

"AND HERE HE IS NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. EVERY MAN'S NIGHTMARE! EVERY WOMAN'S FANTASY! THE TOAST OF THE COAST FROM HOKKAIDO TO KYUSHU. RYOUGA HIBIKI!"

"Who? Me?" Ryouga said meekly as he stared at the crowd.

"AND NOW WE CAN BEGIN THE MAIN EVENT OF THE KYOKO CUP!" the announcer continued. "AS YOU ALL KNOW, IF HIBIKI FAILS TO DEFEAT HIS OPPONENT, THE EVERSEXY HOT PINK AVENGER, FLEX LAVENDER, FLEX WILL WIN KYOKO'S SERVICES FOR A YEAR!"

"WHAT?!" Ryouga screamed as he spotted the two huge men throw the struggling Kyoko into a steel cage that was promptly suspended above a wrestling ring in the center off the arena. It was there that an eager Flex was waiting for Ryouga. Flex's brutish, female partner, Brute Forcz, was waiting outside the ring.

Kyoko stared down from her perch and began screaming at the announcer's table next to the ring. "You can't lock me in a cage and enslave me to someone for a year!"

"We have a seventy five percent viewer rating for this event," The man shouted back. "According to television regulations, we can do anything up to throwing you into a tank of piranha and it's still legal." The man's eyes glazed over. "Ohh, that'll be our specialty fight for next week. A match over a tank full of hungry piranha." He began writing the idea down so he wouldn't forget.

Kyoko looked towards Ryouga. "You have to save me, Ryouga-kun!"

"Don't worry! I won't fail you!" Ryouga shouted back as rushed to the ring and leaped inside. With Kyoko's freedom on the line, he wouldn't lose.

There was no chance to prepare as the bell gave off a resounding ring, allowing the match to get underway. Ryouga and Flex were about to lock up when Flex pointed to the crowd, and said, "Look ref, it's your mother."

While the referee began scanning the crowd for his mother, Flex gave a signal to his partner. Brute Forcz picked up a nearby guitar and threw it to Flex. The wrestler began strumming the instrument, then looked crossly at it. "This sounds out of tune, what do you think, Hibiki?"

Distracted by Flex's odd behavior, Ryouga stared at him in bewilderment. "I don't know. I kind of think it sounds-"

Ryouga didn't get the chance to finish as Flex brought the guitar over his head, shattering the instrument into a hundred tiny fragments.

"Now it sounds better," Flex laughed at the momentarily stunned Ryouga.

"FLEX JUST UNLOADED THE 'INSTRUMENT OF WOE' MANEUVER ON HIBIKI. WHAT A BLOW!" the announcer shouted.

Ryouga shook his head free of the haze around it and shouted to the referee. "Hey! He just used an illegal object!"

As Ryouga complained to the official, who was still trying to locate his mother, Flex signaled to Brute Forcz once again. This time she tossed him a lead pipe, which he promptly used to hit Ryouga in the skull.

"OHH!" The announcer shouted. "THAT TIME IT WAS THE DREADED, 'LEAD PIPE CINCH' MOVE. HOW CAN HIBIKI BOUNCE BACK FROM THAT ONE?!"

Ryouga once again cleared his pounding head of the pain, then grabbed the referee by the shirt and turned him around. "He just used another illegal object on me."

The official looked suspiciously at Flex, who was now in a far corner and looking as innocent as a choir boy. Nonetheless, the referee approached him. "Did you just use an illegal object?"

Brute Forcz jumped up on the ring apron and held a book out for Flex to put his left hand upon. He held up his right hand before the official, and said, "I swear upon the symbol of Tarm-kin-toe that I did not break any rules, nor hit Mr. Hibiki with an illegal object."

"That's good enough for me." The referee turned away from Flex, only to be confronted by Ryouga.

"What kind of an idiot are you?" Ryouga growled as he snatched the book out of Brute Forcz's hands. He held the tome before the man. "This is the Necronomicon, a book of pure evil, and he just invoked the name of the Old One associated with treachery."

"I try to keep an open mind when it comes to religions," the official explained.

Ryouga turned away from the man in disgust and confronted Flex. Just as the two were ready to lock up once again, Flex thumbed Ryouga in the eye, then threw him out of the ring. The official ran up to Flex and shouted how raking people in the eyes was against the rules. Flex responded by bringing out a copy of the rulebook from somewhere in his tights and asked the official to show him what page the rule was on.

As the two became embroiled in the conversation, Ryouga returned to his feet. So, he thought, Flex had underestimated his endurance. Once he stepped back in the ring he would sho-.

Further thoughts on the subject were broken off as Ryouga was flattened.

"OHH! THAT WAS BRUTE FORCZE'S SPECIAL, 'I JUST RAN OVER YOU WITH A BULLDOZER' MANEUVER. I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE HIBIKI CAN TAKE!"

Ryouga found out fifty-five minutes later, as he was barely able to stand up over Flex Lavender's defeated form. The match probably would have gone longer if Kyoko hadn't taken care of Brute Forcz by cutting through the chain holding the cage up and landing on Flex's follically enhanced tag-team partner. Once she was released, Kyoko supported her man as the two made their way to the ring announcer's table.

Ryouga stared evilly at the ring announcer. "How dare you kidnap Kyoko and try to make her that animal's slave! I'm going to-"

"Here's your check for winning the match." The man held out a piece of paper for Ryouga to see.

Both Kyoko and Ryouga's eyes bulged out. Ryouga stared at the check. "Are you sure there's supposed to be five zeros after that number?"

The man scowled at Ryouga. "Very well. I'll correct it." He pulled out a pen and scribbled on the check, then handed it back to Ryouga.

Ryouga's eyes bulged some more. There were now six zeros after the number.

"Welcome to your new profession, dear," Kyoko said happily.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Akane decided to eat lunch outside, with the majority of the usual 'gang' following. Minami, Tenchi, Yohko, Lum, Ryoko, Ayeka, and Kunou, sat watching Kyoko put the cheerleader squad through maneuvers as they ate.

"She's doing a heck of a job training them," Akane commented through the bites of her sandwich.

"I think the whip's a bit much," Yohko said as she lay back, resting her head in Kunou's lap.

"It looks to me like she's enjoying it," Ryoko remarked, seeing the eager gleam in Kyoko's eyes as the whip cracked above one of her trainee's heads.

"Yeah," Minami agreed. "Since Ryouga left on the stupid, 'man's quest' of his, it seems like training them is the only time when she's happy.'

"She isn't getting enough wrist action in her snaps. You need to be more forceful to apply just the right touch, or else it is too painful. Employing a whip should be an effort of love," Ayeka said as she carefully watched Kyoko's whip handling skills.

"I know what you mean." Lum nodded her head in agreement. "My friend, Oyuki, was very skilled with the whip. Some of the things she could get Benten to do when she used it properly were amazing."

No one had the courage to ask the questions that came to mind. Tenchi even backed away a few feet from the pair.

Ryouga grabbed the nearest person he could. He had traveled for ten consecutive weeks, not daring to change for fear of losing his package, despite the decision he had come to the day before yesterday. But every moment he was away from Kyoko was like hell, an even worse hell than the one Ranma had put him through. The months had been long and hard, but it had all been for her. That was what had kept him going. Once he had actually found it, he couldn't wait to return to her arms. It would be sheer heaven to feel her embrace...

"Please stop hugging me," the boy Ryouga was holding gasped. Ryouga realized he had lost himself briefly in a fantasy and released the guy before people started to get the wrong idea.

The boy did not mind. Being threatened by people was a commonplace experience at school, it was just that his captor had seemed to lose his concentration and hugged him that had the youth worried.

Ryouga snapped back to reality. "Where is Furinkan High School?"

The boy pointed at the sign behind him. The one that said, 'Furinkan High' on it.

Ryouga released him. He had found it once again. It was odd, but no matter how lost he got, eventually he found his way to wherever he wanted to go. It would always seem to take forever, but he would always find it in the end. He thanked kami-sama this time was no exception.

Without further hesitation, he staggered through the gate and entered the familiar (and there were so few places he had been around long enough to call familiar) school grounds. Immediately his eyes fell upon the group of people under the tree, and Kyoko, who was still cracking her whip over the squad of cheerleaders' heads.

Before he had a chance to shout out to Kyoko he had returned, Akane beat him to it. Kyoko halted a whip strike in mid-air and she slowly turned around to see Ryouga standing there. The whip fell to the ground as the brown-haired girl shouted out in joy and ran over to Ryouga, ending her run with the greatest glomp he had ever received. He stood there for a few moments, elated with the show of affection while embarrassed by the public nature of it. The whistles and suggestions Ryoko was unloading in the couple's direction didn't help matters either. Ayeka chastised Ryoko for her behavior, receiving an insult in return about not having a boyfriend to love. The two moved away from the group and began to argue in earnest.

Discovering Kyoko had absolutely no intention of releasing her full body glomp, Ryouga elected to simply walk over to the others with Kyoko still attached to him. "Food," he moaned. Akane offered hers as Ryouga plopped down and ate the entire meal in about four seconds.

With his hungry momentarily abated, Ryouga finally managed to relax, in spite of the girl firmly attached to him.

"So, where have you been?" Akane asked.

Ryouga gave Akane a satisfied grin. "My quest is finally complete."

Kyoko quit snuggling against his chest, though kept her arms around his neck. "You mean-?"

"I found the Nanniichuan water," Ryouga completed for her as he opened his backpack, tossing out the Philosopher's Stone and Holy Grail that were on top of what he sought. At last he found what he was looking for and set down a bottle filled with a clear fluid of some kind.

The others examined the bottle closely.

"So that stuff will turn someone into a guy, huh?" Tenchi asked.

"Yes," Ryouga answered.

"Are you sure it's the right stuff?" Minami asked. "It isn't going to be of any use to you if it's not Spring of Drowned Young Man. I mean, what if it's Spring of Drowned Horny Bastard or...well, I guess you could actually use that one."

"Minami!" Akane scolded.

"Well, he has all the speed of a glacier when it comes to the romance department," Minami explained, then added. "Not like he's the only one here either," as she turned to Tenchi.

"Ryouga-kun just likes to move slow, and that's fine with me." Kyoko buried her head in his chest and began snuggling again. "So when are you going to use the water and feel like a 'real man.'?"

A look of doubt crossed Ryouga's face as he summoned the courage of what to say next. "I'm not going to use the water."

Kyoko stopped snuggling and released him in surprise. "What's that supposed to mean?! The whole point of you leaving me for so long was so that you could find the water and become a real man."

Ryouga looked shamefully at her. He just knew she was going to be angry with him. "Well, I sort of realized something, as I tried to make my way back here. The journey made me understand that if I use the water, it's going to be a mistake." He paused to see Kyoko's reaction to that. She was merely looking at him, hanging on every word.

He took a deep breath and continued. "I...I keep getting lost, even when I have something nice to go back to. I can't go anywhere I want to without the damn curse! Oh sure, maybe in a week or two I might make it back home when I was only supposed to go around the corner to get some milk, but that's too long! I don't want to raise a family like the one I grew up in. Hell, I didn't do much growing up with them at all! I know it's not their fault, but I...I want to be a responsible parent someday, and that means I have to be there with my children in order to teach them right and wrong. The only way I can do that reliably is to keep my bat curse. I have to do it, even if it means people constantly mistake me for a vampire and try to drive a stake through my heart."

"I can buy you a suit of armor if that really bothers you," Kyoko offered.

"That's not what I was getting at."

"I know," Kyoko assured him as she continued staring at him in adoration.

"Ar...aren't you mad at me for leaving you so long on a pointless quest?" Ryouga asked, expecting her to get angry at him any second.

"No," Kyoko answered. "I kind of figured we'd have those kind of family problems right after we met your parents, at least if you didn't have your curse. But you needed to discover the problem and come to a decision for yourself. I didn't want you to feel like I blackmailed you or something into not getting a cure."

Ryouga found himself taken aback by Kyoko's insight, especially since she was probably right. He would have been depressed for years about his curse if he hadn't decided on his own to keep it.

"So what are you going to do with the water?" Akane asked.

"I was thinking about giving it to Ranma. He's the only other guy I know that can use this stuff. It doesn't help Shampoo, but at least half of their problems will be solved." Ryouga held out the bottle before him then put it on the ground. He couldn't help smiling at the situation. Ranma was going to really owe him for this.

"Water that turns you into a guy," Yohko finally spoke up and shuddered. "That's creepy."

"I thought you hunted demons for a living," Kyoko said. "How can you call something like magic water creepy?"

"Yes. But the worst thing you have to worry about sex-wise is running into a tentacle demon. It's not like they try to change your sex or something. That would be the absolute worst."

"Hey! Since you're a professional, like me, I wanted your opinion on something," Minami said to Yohko.

"Go ahead," Yohko replied.

"While we're on the subject of tentacle monsters, have you ever wondered what it would be like to rape one of them for a change?"

"No." Yohko paled.

"I'm just saying how do you think they'd react? You think it's like some kind of anathema to them, or that they'd enjoy it?"

"I'm going to pretend we're not having this conversation," Yohko said in disgust, trying hard not to wonder what that strange glint in Minami's eyes meant.

"Do you think Ayeka would enjoy a Nanniichuan curse?" Lum asked as she looked to the skies above, changing the topic of conversation much to everyone's relief.

Everyone just looked at her curiously. Tenchi spoke first. "No. What would make you ask a question like that?"

Lum pointed up, just in time for everyone to see that Ryoko had apparently gotten the upper hand in their duel and had sent Ayeka high overhead, her body having already started on the descending part of her arc. It took less than a second for the group to watch in horror as she landed directly on the bottle of Nanniichuan, shattering it.

As one, the group gasped in horror and matched the pale shade Yohko had taken earlier. As Ryoko approached, the group did the only sensible thing they could do, since they were Ayeka's friends.

They ran for cover.

Ryoko watched in confusion as everyone fled from Ayeka. She felt sort of bad about that since they should have known she wouldn't throw off any major power bursts around them. Not intentionally, anyway.

She saw Ayeka remain where she was, a purple aura beginning to flare around her. Ryoko was wondering why her longtime rival was getting upset -she hadn't hit her that hard- when she finally picked up on what was different about Ayeka.

"I...I'm sorry," Ryoko barely managed to stammer out. "I didn't mean for you to... you know."

Ayeka-kun could barely hear the words. Little could pierce the veil of blind rage around him. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! I'M A MAN NOW, YOU REPUGNANT CREATURE!"

Ryoko began backing away from the increasingly purple field that now surrounded Ayeka-kun. "Umm, Ayeka. It could be worse."

"HOW?!"

"You could always turn into a gorilla, like Kiyone. And you aren't unattractive, like you are as girl. And your tiny breast size is completely irrelevant now." Ryoko really had tried her best to ease Ayeka-kun's anxiety.

"I AM GOING TO VAPORIZE YOU!"

Unfortunately it wasn't good enough.

The group of friends watched as the entire school grounds evacuated in a heartbeat. Lum was doing her best to keep Tenchi from trying to get in-between the two girls.

"Has this sort of stuff been going on a lot since I left?" Ryouga asked.

"I'd say today qualifies as being somewhat worse than the usual," Akane said as she remained hidden behind the tree. Martial artists were supposed to be brave, not suicidal.

"This isn't good," said Kyoko as she stared at the spectacle in awe. "Ranma might never get a cure since Ayeka got splashed with what may be the last Nanniichuan water in existence and is about to kill Ryoko, and maybe us by accident. Well, at least things can't get worse."

Kyoko placed her hands over her mouth even as she spoke the last of the words. It was too late, as seven pairs of eyes stared evilly at her.

"Now you've done it," Akane growled as everyone began looking around to see what cataclysm would fall upon them next.

It was then Sasami entered the school yard.

Sasami wasn't a usual visitor to the school, but Tenchi had forgotten his lunch and she didn't want him to get hungry. So she set off with Ryo-Oh-Ki, Kamazaki, and Adaka, when she spotted Ayeka-kun double the power level to his aura. Quickly, she turned to Kamazaki and Adaka. "Go try to stop Ayeka before she makes a terrible mistake!"

"But Princess, our order were specific," Kamazaki protested. "We're to shield you from any wat-"

"There's no time for that!" Sasami insisted. "Do you want Ayeka to kill Ryoko?"

"No."

"Then stop her." The two guardians obeyed her commands and flew off to try to shield Ryoko from the tremendous power blast the Ayeka was building up to. Sasami cringed in fear. "Oh, if only there was something I could do to help."

It was then she was splashed from behind by a passing truck that hit a nearby puddle.

Tsunami became aware of her essence being thrown out of her host's body again. There was only one thing that could have done that. The one thing that everyone in existence dreaded.

Sasami had been splashed with cold water.

Now Tsunami was stripped of her powers, all thanks to that damnable magic water. The only thing she could do was project herself as a transparent image, almost like a ghost, before people, at least until Sasami was splashed with hot water and reverted back to normal.

She forced herself to materialize before the young girl. "Sasami, I beg you, stop this madness."

"I'm not Sasami," the girl (now dressed in a cute little number that was similar to a sailor fuku) said. "I'm Magical Girl Pretty Sammy!" She waved her Wand of Love high in the air as she made her kawaii little declaration.

Ryo-Oh-Ki ran off in terror. She had no desire to become Sammy's 'cute intelligent animal sidekick' again.

If Tsunami still had a human body, she would have thrown up in disgust. "You are not a magical girl. That's a delusion you're suffering from thanks to that stupid water Mihoshi brought back." Tsunami made another mental note to bring her flagship back down into earth orbit and disintegrate Mihoshi the next time she saw her. Being stuck in a goldfish's body was VERY preferable to the new alternative. "You are cursed into a magical girl's body when you are splashed with cold water. You are really a space princess. Now why don't we go get some nice hot water and change you back."

"Not right now! There are problems that only I, Magical Girl Pretty Sammy, can solve."

Tsunami watched in dread as 'Magical Girl Pretty Sammy' pointed with her wand towards Ayeka and Ryoko.

"I'll make them friends again!" Sammy proudly declared. "Just like the others!"

Off to the side, Akane heard the declaration and cringed. She remembered the 'others' and what happened the last time Sammy helped two arguing girls become 'friends' again...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oh Minako, only you could warm the frigid ice that my heart has become."

"They don't call me the 'Sailor of Love' for nothing, Setsuna."

Makoto watched on in disgust as the two kissed once again. "Gross! We really are becoming a group of lesbians. First it was Haruka and Michiru. Then Usagi ends up in that three-way marriage thing, and Mamoru complains that Usagi and Sash aren't giving him enough attention because they enjoy each other so much, and now it's these two."

"I still think you've been looking at me funny. Are you sure you don't find me attractive?"

"I HAVE NOT BEEN LOOKING AT YOU FUNNY AND I DON'T FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE!" Makoto shouted for the third time. She wasn't certain which disturbed her more, the question itself, or the hopeful look in Ami's eyes when she asked.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I think Sailor Venus and Pluto make a cute couple!" Sammy happily declared.

"They weren't lesbians until you shot them with that damned love blast of yours!" Tsunami would have strangled her if she had a material body.

"It's time to spread love around!" Sammy charged up her wand and pointed it towards Ayeka-kun and Ryoko. "MAGICAL GIRL PRETTY SAMMY'S ULTIMATE BLAST, LET LOVE ROCK YOUR WORLD!"

Tsunami covered her eyes as Sammy released her blast.

Ryoko heard the battle cry, and knew what was happening without turning. She quickly jumped on top of Ayeka-kun, ignoring the pain of the energy field between them, and hurled both of them to the ground.

"What are you doing?!" Ayeka-kun shouted as Ryoko tried to smother him into the ground. "Do you find me attractive? Is that it? You've switched your attentions to someone whose beauty is irresistible, even when you proclaim your love to Tenchi. You ugly hag-"

"STAY DOWN!" Ryoko shouted as the love blast nearly parted her spiky hair. Once she felt it pass, she looked to see what new target the bolt might have acquired.

She screamed in horror as it headed towards Akane and Tenchi.

Akane and Tenchi remained motionless, stunned by the sudden turn of events. Akane simply cursed her luck. And here she had vowed never to become involved with someone that had another suitor, let alone several of them. She just knew it was going to be Ranma all over again, especially since Ayeka was now cursed to become a man when doused with cold water.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Lum knocked the two out of the way of the passing bolt, barely evading it herself. The people directly behind Akane and Tenchi, Kyoko and Ryouga, were not so lucky.

Ryouga and Kyoko both felt the love blast go through them. After a moment of stunned silence, Ryouga looked deeply into his girlfriend's eyes. "Kyoko?"

"Yes?"

"I don't feel the least bit different about you."

"Me neither."

"Do you think that means we're truly in love?"

"I guess so."

Both breathed a sigh of relief.

Two others breathed a sigh of relief as well as they picked themselves off of the ground.

"That was close," Ryoko sighed.

"Indeed," Ayeka-kun agreed. "I don't know what I would have done if we had been hit by that bolt."

"Well, for starters you'd be more popular because you'd be hanging around me. And you'd get a chance to ride in a real spaceship instead of those giant toothpicks you use. I mean, all someone needs to do is create a giant space woodchipper and there goes your entire fleet. And you'd have had the best sex of your life," Ryoko bragged. "I'd have had you on your knees, begging for more."

"Hardly!" Ayeka-kun sniffed. "Not that you are worthy of my attentions. In any case, I would have been the one that would have left you weeping. Juraian bridal training is quite extensive on how to deliver pleasure to one's spouse."

"Yeah, but you were taught to be the bride, not the groom," Ryoko began laughing, reigniting Ayeka-kun's anger.

"How dare you-"

Ayeka-kun was silenced as a second love blast caught both her and Ryoko in the chest. A misty-eyed look of love was exchanged between the two of them.

"Oh Ayeka."

"Oh Ryoko."

"Oh shit!"

After making her declaration, Tsunami looked upon the scene in horror and began running back and forth in a blind panic. "I'm doomed! We're doomed! The Emperor is never going to understand this. He's going to go ballistic when he discovers his daughter has become a man and is in love with the galaxy's most wanted space pirate!"

"I think he'll be happy. He always wanted lots of boys!" Sammy shouted out, deliriously happy.

Tsunami looked towards Sammy with a soft gaze. She began talking to the shorter girl in a sweet, honeyed voice. "I'll tell you what he's going to do."

"What?" Sammy asked.

Tsunami's head bulged to fifty times it's current size, putting the mightiest demon head Soun had ever conjured to shame. "HE'S GOING TO LOCK YOU IN SUB-SPACE FOREVER AND CUT ME DOWN WITH AN AX!"

A plan began to form in Tsunami's mind. Once Sammy was splashed with some hot water, the two of them could grab her ship and hide out in the Shi'ar Empire for the next five thousand years. That might be just enough time for Emperor Azusa to calm down...maybe.

Then again, maybe ten thousand years was a better idea.

Ryouga stared at the scene in horror. And here he had thought he had problems. "The more things change...

"...the more they stay the same." Akane finished for him. There was a time when she had lamented about how all things changed, but that wasn't entirely true, some things never changed, and she wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And then there were those whose lives had been helplessly intertwined together thanks to the actions of Ranma Saotome and Shampoo, even though their contact with the couple had been limited. If asked, they would have claimed that they had no role to play in the couple's lives ever again. They had lives of their own to lead, and what grudges were held against the two had been settled, not that further contact was desired. In fact, they had moved away from Nerima and had no intention of setting foot there ever again, so it was unlikely they would ever even hear the name of Ranma Saotome or Shampoo again.

They would be, of course, wrong.

It would just take a long time. But there were other things that they would do long before that day ever came.

Tsuyoshi Nakajima looked at the four walls of his office and sighed. For months he had requested getting the office remodeled, but there never seemed to be a reason for it that the head of the agency would accept. The blasted thing was too small, not that Tsuyoshi was claustrophobic, but a three meter by four meter office was more like a hole in the wall than anything else. Appearances were everything when one wanted to make a good first impression, and with such a limited amount of space the whole office simply looked cluttered.

It wasn't like they couldn't expand. Recently, the adoption agency had purchased the other offices on the floor when the owners of those offices moved out to a bigger and better building, something Tsuyoshi knew would never happen to him. No, he had been with the adoption agency for the last twenty years of his life and would be there until the day he retired. A salaryman to the end. Perhaps he could arrange a small fire in the office that would force the head to remodel the place.

A burst of static from the speaker phone on his desk heralded an end to his pity session. "The Kumons are here to see you, sir."

"Send them right in, Meiko." His secretary, Meiko Endo was the one bright point in that helped him through the dismal days of his job. The attractive, if short, woman that was fifteen years his junior had been with him from the beginning. Their affair had begun within the last five years, and he was convinced that he loved her, and more importantly, for some bizarre reason, she seemed to love him back, a balding, not particularly even average-looking, man in his late forties (at least he had managed to drop the extra sixty pounds he had once carried, for her). Of course, the fact that he was already married to a shrewish, ice-cold, parasitic bitch of a wife that was the sister of his employer left both he and Meiko in somewhat of a precarious position in revealing their feelings for one another, so both lived contentedly, if not absolutely happily, with their current relationship.

He cleared his thoughts of Meiko and took a look at the morning agenda she had written out for him. First on the schedule was indeed Kumon, which would then be followed by Unryuu, although apparently Meiko had made a mistake. Both couples were listed at the same time. He wondered if something was bothering her. She usually didn't make simple mistakes like that.

The door opened and Meiko ushered a couple into the office, then closed the door behind her. Tsuyochi took a moment to look the duo over. The girl was obviously young, wearing a very pleasant dress with a floral pattern and looking every bit like a proper young lady. The only uncommon thing about her was the streak of pink that ran through her hair.

The black-haired gentleman was dressed in a rather sedate dark business suit, the only remarkable looking thing about him was his rather large frame, which showed quite obviously through the suit. Mr. Kumon was a big man. The sort of man Tsuyochi had never been.

"Good day." Tsuyochi bowed before the couple, and received a bow from both of them in return. Tsuyochi indicated they should have a seat while he looked them over one more time. They were having the typical reaction of a young couple coming to an adoption agency for the first time: both were frightened beyond belief.

That was actually a good sign. It meant they were serious. Usually, if a couple appeared too light-hearted or easy-going about the initial stages of the process, he would reject them from the potential adoption list. Tsuyochi took his job far more seriously than many of the others that were involved with the business. No children ended up in the hands of people that weren't up to the responsibility of raising children, not on his shift.

"I'd like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind."

Both Akari and Ryu nodded eagerly in response.

Tsuyochi cleared his throat while making certain to smile the whole time, hoping to relax them as they answered. "You filled out all of the forms you were sent, correct?"

"Yes," Akari and Ryu answered simultaneously.

"I see." Tsuyochi shuffled through a few papers on the desk so as to appear as though he were considering something on them. It wasn't as though they were the forms that had been filled out; he just liked appearing busy. This was the first personal interview for the couple, and that would be what decided if the process would continue. "Why exactly are you adopting? I know this might seem a very personal question to you, but we really need to know why."

He saw a look of sorrow suddenly fill Akari's face, and watched with sympathy as Ryu's hand found its way into hers. He patted it softly, her face softening as he eased her pain slightly. Tsuyochi knew the answer before hearing it from either of them.

"I have a condition which prevents me from having children," Akari said softly.

Tsuyochi nodded in understanding. It was neither the first time nor the last he would hear those words, yet he never heard them without feeling a touch of regret himself. Still, there were other questions that needed to be asked. He allowed Akari a few more moments to compose herself before he continued.

"Can you raise the child in a healthy environment?"

Akari and Ryu nodded their heads vigorously. Akari spoke once again. "Ryu and I love each other very much. There were many difficulties in starting our relationship because of certain events on our lives," Ryu gave her a soft look, then nodded in agreement. "But we overcame them and know we want to be with one another forever, no matter how many problems we have."

Tsuyochi was impressed by the maturity the duo seemed to possess. They had a much more realistic grasp of what a commitment between two people seemed to entail.

"And we can support a family without a problem." Ryu added. "An old... acquaintance of mine gave me permission to use my style of martial arts so long as I only employ it to make a living."

"And just what sort of a living do you make using martial arts?" Tsuyochi began to wonder of the boy was some kind of prize fighter. That would explain his large frame.

"The demolition business. I use it to destroy buildings." Ryu said proudly. "I already have a long list of clients that pay me a lot. Since I don't use any equipment or explosives, the overhead is low and profits are high."

Akari nodded even more fiercely in agreement. "And I own one of the largest sumo pig farms in all of Japan. The last few years have been very good for sumo pig farmers," She ran off a figure of how much money she made in the last two years, impressing Tsuyochi. She could raise a family of five quite easily on her own.

"We own a large farm that would give the children plenty of room to be raised in." Ryu was becoming more excited by the minute. Children would be the final bond to cement his and Akari's relationship.

Tsuyochi smiled at the couple. He spotted the 'look' in their eyes and identified it. He wasn't always able to notice it, and even then he had good instincts if a couple would make good parents, but those times when he recognized the 'look', he was always right. Always. The pair would be as close to perfect as parents could get.

He continued asking the couple questions for the next half hour, but they were nothing more than a formality. Tsuyochi had already made his choice. Once the interview was over, he stood up and bowed to each of them. "I still have to do some paperwork on the whole thing, and we'll need to set up another interview, but I'm confident we'll be able to find you a child to love."

Seeing the glow of pure joy in their eyes made Tsuyochi's day. He never got tired of that aspect of the job. That, above all other things, was what made him stay despite the frustrating nature of his work. "It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Kumon. Mrs. Kumon."

"Oh, we're not married," Akari said quite happily.

The smile faded from Tsuyochi's lips. "You aren't?"

"No," Ryu said. "I had a marriage annulled once. It was totally my fault for betraying the trust of a woman I loved. I swore that I would never get married again after that."

"And I can't get married because of a family vow I took," Akari explained. "So you see, we're perfect for each other. He's a man who won't marry and I'm a woman who can't. But we still love each other with all of our hearts."

The sweet scene before Tsuyochi of the two of them kissing would have sent him into insulin shock if he hadn't been so horrified with what they had just told him. "I'm sorry, but if you aren't married I can't allow you to adopt a child."

"What?!" the two shouted out in unison.

"Our policy is to allow only married couples to adopt. I truly am sorry." It was the truth, though Tsuyochi had thought they would make ideal parents for any child. For the first time since he took the job he considered waiving the rules, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

Akari just stood there in shock, then broke down and began to cry. Ryu held her in his embrace for several moments, then spoke up.

"Akari, I'm going to try to convince this gentleman to perhaps change his mind. Would you wait outside?"

"But Ryu," Akari cried. "This concerns me too."

"Akari." The name was said with softness, but also with a degree of firmness that told her he was not going to give in. She assented to his demands and left the office, closing the door behind her.

"No amount of talking is going to convince me to change my mind," Tsuyochi assured him.

"Who said anything about talking?" Ryu cracked his knuckles.

Meiko and Akari listened to the loud noises coming from within the office. Meiko wanted to see what was going on, but had a feeling that whatever was happening inside would not be halted by her presence. But if she heard even the slightest cry of pain come from her Tsuyochi, nothing would stop her from rushing to his side.

After a full minute and a half, the noises stopped. Another minute after that Ryu practically tore the door to the office off its hinges as he ran into the reception area with a photo and paper in hand.

"Good news!" he picked up Akari and whirled her around in his embrace for a moment before setting her down once more. "He's changed his mind and said that we can adopt as many children as we want. He even gave me a picture of a boy we can have once the paperwork gets processed." He showed the picture to Akari.

She took one look at the photo and fell in love with him. He was no more than six months old and had been abandoned by whoever his parents. No one had an idea of who they were. She would practically be raising him from birth. "I know what we can name him."

"He already has a name," Ryu pointed out.

"That's just one those people at the agency picked so they had something to call him," Akari explained. "So that's not his real name either. Besides, he's practically ours now. We should be the ones to choose his name."

"And just what do you want to call him?" Ryu hadn't even considered naming a child they adopted, boy or girl.

Akari gave a bright smile.

"Katsunishiki."

Meiko watched the couple leave, then dared to enter the office where she had last seen her lover. As she entered she saw Tsyochi standing there with one of the widest smiles he had ever had etched on his face. That was most peculiar, especially considering what was missing from the office.

"What happened to the other three walls?"

Tsuyochi continued grinning broadly. "Must have been a natural disaster. At least that's what I'm going to tell my employers. Looks like I finally get to have that remodeling done after all."

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Special thanks to

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Bloodblade  
Jurai-Knight  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Gary Kleppe  
Miashara  
Bryan Smith  
Wade Tritschler


	43. Drifting in the Night

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Epilogue 3

Drifting in the Night

All C+C is desired. You can contact me at:  
sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters or any from other series mentioned in this story.

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also put it on his webpage at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Slashley also has it at:

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'A dream, dream, no dream.  
You can feel the forest calling out to you.  
A dream, dream, no dream  
Close your eyes, my darling child.  
When the dawn comes you'll see, these things I have for you.  
Morning dew, and the scent of a jasmine summer breeze.'

'Lullaby'  
English Lyrics by John Mitchell.  
Originally by Hiroaki Sato.

Ukyou hated tubes.

She hated the long clear things through which a never-ending stream of fluid coursed. Life wasn't meant to be dependent on pieces of plastic embedded into the flesh. There was something horribly wrong with the very idea, but now, in a way, her life was dependent on them. Oh, how she hated them.

It was just like the electronic beeps. Those piercing little pulses that sounded like someone was stepping on a mouse over and over again, until one thought would go mad. That was what the designers of those machines were really up to, creating a high- tech version of the Chinese Water Torture.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Exactly the same thing. Who would want to come out of a coma if that was all there was to hear? If she had one of those designers before her, she probably would have beat the tar out of him with her spatula, if she had thought to bring that with her. Lord, how she despised those machines.

Ai had been hooked up to them since their return from the little 'jaunt' D'Amour inadvertently took them on when he used the fold generators the second time. It was nothing short of a miracle that Ai had not died on the trip back. Thankfully, the life support equipment on TWPOS did function properly. It was about the only thing that did.

After an arduous journey that seemed to last forever, they had at last returned to Japan. Ai was transported to a real hospital and looked over by true professionals. Curiously, Ukyou's original doubts about Bubbles proved to be unfounded. Upon examining Ai, the doctors all agreed that she had been given expert care and that the operation that had been performed on her had been the best work they had ever seen. When they asked Ukyou the identity of the doctor, her response of 'she just said her name was Bubbles' was met with disbelief. The doctors seemed convinced Ukyou was hiding the identity of the physician and would still occasionally try to grill her about who really performed it, as if she would make up an absurd story like that. That didn't seem to stop the physicians, who would inform Ukyou that 'Dr. Bubbles' had checked on Ai and said she was still in stable condition.

Shortly after arriving with Ai, one of the doctors contacted the rest of the Konjous and informed them of her condition. They quickly arrived at the hospital. The only one Ukyou recognized was Mariko, and that was only because she had attacked the school before. Once the family found out what Ai's condition was, and that Ukyou had been the one who had brought her in, they began to interrogate her. They had gotten no further than the first question before Ukyou broke down and began crying. Until that moment, she hadn't realized how much she blamed herself for what had happened to Ai. She knew she was responsible on so many levels. Ai had gone with her to China only to watch out for her, had gone to the mountain to protect her, had pushed her out of the path of Tessai's blade to keep her from harm. At every turn she should have done something to turn Ai away, but she hadn't, and Ai had paid the price.

Once she calmed down enough to explain things to the Konjous, they refused to hold her responsible in the least. They even tried to convince Ukyou that she wasn't to blame, though they met with little success. The best they managed to do was to calm her down. Eventually she allowed herself to be led out of the room and left the family alone with Ai. Ukyou remained outside, sitting in a nearby lounge area, unable to stay very far away from the room. Despite the Konjous' kind words, Ukyou still couldn't help but blame herself for everything that had happened.

How long she waited in the lounge, Ukyou couldn't say; time had lost meaning in her world of sorrow. She was so lost in thought that she was unaware of the girl next to her until she spoke up.

"You couldn't have stopped her."

Ukyou looked up, startled by the intruding voice that cut through the silent recriminations. Mariko had left the hospital room to talk to her. Ai had mentioned her several times, and never in very glowing terms.

Mariko appeared to be around Ukyou's age, an inch or two taller, and with blonde hair that was cut about as short as Akane's. She was wearing a pleasant looking white top and pleated skirt. There didn't appear to be all that much of a resemblance between the sisters. Their faces were completely different, especially in the eyes. Mariko didn't appear quite as fierce as Ai usually did. She was also missing the sort of confident airs Ai seemed to perpetually carry with her.

Ukyou realized she was staring at Mariko and snapped out of her careful examination. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said there was no way you could have stopped her from going with you." Mariko shook her head sadly. "Once Ai gets something set in her mind, that's it. Nothing you can do will shake her out of it. You would have had to chain her to Tokyo Tower to leave her behind, and even then that might not have stopped her."

"I should have figured out something," Ukyou said as her head slumped mournfully.

"Then it would be her wailing at you being hurt, and I'll let you know something, she cries a lot harder than you do." Mariko saw that the joke did nothing to lighten Ukyou's mood. She sat down in the plastic chair next to the chef. "Ai will be fine. She's a tough one, and I should know, I've had to live with the brat all of my life." It was then Mariko realized something. "We haven't been formerly introduced. I'm Mariko, Ai's sister." She bowed her head slightly.

Ukyou nodded her own. "That's what I thought. She's talked about you before."

"And probably not too favorably, I presume?"

Ukyou reluctantly nodded.

Mariko gave a curt smile. "I'm not surprised. We haven't exactly been too close for the last couple of years. More like rivals, actually." Mariko sounded wistful as she continued. "It's all her fault, really. She just had to muscle in on my martial arts cheerleading squad. Only one hen can rule the roost, although in her case she's almost as much cock as hen." Mariko laughed at her little joke.

"Ai is all woman!" Ukyou snapped, offended at the idea that someone could be as feminine as Ai and still be called that. Even with her preferences, that was absurd.

Mariko held up her hands in surrender. "Relax. I didn't mean to insult you. I'm just not like you and Ai. I only like guys."

"I'm not like that either!"

Mariko stared at her in surprise. "I though you and Ai were going out. I mean, she never said you were girlfriends outright, but from the way she talked, it sounded like it."

Ukyou began wavering slightly. She hadn't thought of being called something like that. She had always considered herself nothing more than a heterosexual, even if she did cross-dress. "I'm not that way, except when it comes to Ai, if that makes any sense."

"Not really," Mariko said after a moment of thought. "I guess Ai's got you so confused you don't know what to label yourself, is that it?"

Ukyou's shoulders slumped as she realized Mariko had hit closer to home than she probably realized. "I never really gave it much thought. I know I love her. I couldn't tell you when or how it happened, but it did. But I'm not the least bit attracted to any other women. I don't know what that makes me."

"Weird," Mariko supplied.

Ukyou felt the edges of her temper begin to fray. "Look, you! I am not weird and neither is Ai!"

Mariko shrugged her shoulders in response. "Sorry, but I think the whole concept of two girls getting it on is weird, even if my sister does it. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it." Mariko seemed to soften a bit as she finished. "Ai will be happy to know you aren't interested in any other girls, though. She can be really possessive and jealous."

"I know," Ukyou sighed, recalling various instances of those behaviors from Ai, especially early on. "She's gotten better though."

"Better at hiding it, most likely," Mariko seemed to soften further. "You really do love her, huh?"

"Yes."

Mariko seemed pleased that Ukyou would respond without the slightest hint of hesitation. "She loves you too. She's gone on about people before, but not like you. Never like she has about you." She watched with an amused grin as Ukyou blushed. That was all the proof she needed about Ukyou's sincerity. There were some other things she needed to ask, however.

"Ai does have some rather unusual problems you might not be aware of."

Ukyou shook her head. "Ai told me about them. Don't worry, I'm definitely not going to use her like that. Hell, if I had some of the jerks that did those things to her before..." Ukyou let the threat trail off, wishing she had her spatula with her, even if for no other reason than to feel its reassuring touch.

"All of them were punished in one way or the other," Mariko assured her. No matter what problems existed between the sisters, Mariko would never allow anyone to harm Ai like that again. Apparently she did not need to worry about Ai's current love interest either, in that respect. That was something of a relief. Even if Mariko didn't approve of such behaviors, at least Ai was happy, or would be once she regained consciousness.

"My parents rather liked you," Mariko informed her. "Don't worry about keeping the relationship a secret. They might not approve of Ai's lifestyle, but they accept that that's the way she is, and won't hold it against you."

"Ai said as much." Ukyou told her, once again catching Mariko slightly off guard. She hadn't realized her sister had been so open with Ukyou. Very surprising indeed.

Deciding she had scouted out Ai's new girlfriend sufficiently, Mariko got up and headed back to the room Ai was in. "I'm going to keep an eye on Ai. You're welcome to come and talk with us anytime you need to."

Ukyou nodded. "You seem pretty calm about all of this."

Mariko shrugged. "Like I said, I know my sister. This won't keep her down for long."

Ukyou could only pray Mariko was right.

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"Ukyou, you need to eat something."

Akane took a look, a real good look, at Ukyou. It was just as Ryouga had said, Ukyou had to have dropped close to twenty pounds in the month since Ai had fallen. It was twenty pounds that Ukyou could not afford to lose. It wasn't as though she had been heavy to begin with, and now she was beginning to look emaciated.

Now Akane understood why Ryouga had insisted she go down to the restaurant and see if she could help. Despite Akane's doubts about being able to assist Ukyou, given her own state of mind, she decided to try. She probably would not have gone over, but Ryouga had proven so insistent that she had no choice but to relent. It was a good thing she had too. Ukyou was going to pieces.

Akane chided herself for not seeing the difference sooner, but with her attention focused on thoughts of Ranma, she wasn't aware of much else around her. In that, she and Ukyou were really no different: both were consumed with the thoughts of loved ones that lay beyond their grasp, one by choice, the other by injury. The only consolation Akane had was that Ranma's life wasn't in any danger, that she knew of, anyway.

"I did eat something," Ukyou replied. "I had some okonomiyaki earlier." It wasn't exactly a lie. She had nibbled a little at it, but the truth was she had no appetite, and the food had tasted so bland. Nothing seemed to help her. Everything she had made lately seemed to lack taste. Even the dwindling number of customers that still came to Uk-Chan's agreed.

"Then you need to eat more." Akane tried to encourage her.

"I'm not hungry," Ukyou answered.

Akane wasn't one to give up. "Ai would want you to take care of yourself."

"I'm not going to starve to death!" Ukyou snapped, angry at hearing what she perceived as nagging. She was about to shout again until she noted the pain in Akane's face. Carefully, she reconsidered her words. "I know you're trying to help, but I don't need it. I'll be fine."

Akane nodded. She understood the feeling all too well, that sometimes no one could help you when you were hurt, and you had to discover on your own what it would take to heal you. She started towards the door to Uk-Chan's. "If there's anything you need, you know, someone to talk to, all you have to do is ask."

"It's funny. Ryouga said the exact same thing," the chef commented.

Akane wasn't really surprised. One of the reasons she had made the offer was because others had made an identical one to her using those self-same words. A hand-me-down overture of assistance, she supposed. Having no idea of what to say beyond that, she continued to leave. Akane was almost out the door when Ukyou caught her attention once more.

"Akane, did we ever find out what happened to that big rock guy?" It took Ukyou a moment to remember the name of the depraved creature whose image would be forever burned into her mind. "Tessai?"

"No." Akane shook her head. "I'm pretty sure he was still in the mountain when it blew up." As Akane finished telling her that, she noticed Ukyou's eyes suddenly took on a distant cast.

"Sometimes I dream about him, screaming out in pain. Such pain...and blood. So much blood. It was everywhere, except on Ai. I never let it touch her. She already had enough blood on her." Her voice sounded as far off as her gaze, if not farther. "The screaming never seems to last long enough though. Why does it have to stop before I'm done?"

Akane could have sworn the blood suddenly froze in her veins. There was a difference between acting frightening, like Minami did sometimes, and just BEING frightening, like Ukyou was now.

"Are you feeling all right?" Akane managed to get out.

The intrusion of Akane's voice snapped Ukyou out of her trance, the echoes of distant screams leaving her. "Yes. Of course."

Ukyou appeared all right, but Akane wasn't completely convinced. Still, she could think of nothing to say, or even how to say it if something came to her. She simply bid Ukyou farewell once again, leaving the chef alone in her sorrow.

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Ukyou listened to the babble of students behind her. She might have appeared unaware of their words, and she was a good portion of the time, but every now and then she would tune back into the real world and find out what was going on.

Her studies were something of a joke. During the first few months she had tried to keep up with the homework, but she couldn't concentrate on the words in the texts or the numbers she wrote down in class. It all went in one ear and out the other, nothing staying inside. She knew it wasn't supposed to be that way. She knew she should be able to do better. Even if she wasn't the greatest student in the world, she had always been able to get better than passing grades, but not anymore. Like her skills in okonomiyaki when she first returned to Japan, her thought processes had deteriorated as well, or more properly put, her ability to focus her thought processes had been shot to hell.

The teachers had noticed it too. It had been explained to them that someone close to Ukyou was in a coma, and they had given her leeway for quite some time, but now she had approached the end of that slack and was warned that she had better improve her grades or it would be a summer full of extra sessions at the least, if she wasn't held back outright instead. However, she couldn't care less about that either.

The students whispered things behind her back too. It was really quite amazing, considering she had been behaving that way since the return from China. Several months had passed, and even with the influx of new twisted people in the area, she still seemed to garner an impressive amount of attention. She didn't care what others thought about her or her situation anyway.

Again and again her mind came back to that same person, that same problem: Ai. At first, everyone had been convinced she would come out of her coma in a matter of days. Then weeks. Then months. But lately, that feeling of certainty was felt in smaller and smaller quantities. Not for Ukyou, she knew Ai would eventually come out of it, no, it was her family that had Ukyou concerned. Part of it had to do with the doctors informing them that Ai's condition was deteriorating. Her heartbeat was getting weaker and there still had not been a hint of brain activity. She wasn't getting any better, just worse, and she could see how frightened the Konjous were when they had been told about it.

Ukyou wasn't going to give up though, no matter how it looked to others. She prayed every night for Ai's recovery, and she just knew her prayers would be answered. Ai wouldn't let her down. She had something to come back to, and she was probably the most persistent person Ukyou could think of. Yes, any day now she would come out of her coma and Ukyou would see that bright smiling face again, she just knew it.

"Mr...ah, I mean Miss Kuonji."

Ukyou snapped out of her daydream to the sound of Miss Hinako's voice. "Yes?"

"There's a phone call for you. You can take it down in the principal's office."

Ukyou felt her heart sink in dread. Something was wrong.

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"How is she?!"

Mariko wiped her tears away as she saw Ukyou burst into the room. She had planned on catching the chef out in the hallway to soften the blow, but had assumed it would take Ukyou at least another ten minutes before she would make it to the hospital from the school. It had been her idea to contact Ukyou, feeling the chef had a right to know. Mariko was the only one left with anything resembling cognizant thought, and just barely at that. It was hardly a surprise, considering what had happened overnight.

"She is all right...for now."

Ukyou stared at Ai's form, buried beneath an even larger mountain of tubes and machines. Life support, they called it. Providing life for those that couldn't cut it on their own. Not even really helping it along, more like replacing it altogether.

"It happened last night. They almost failed to bring her back in time."

Ai was supposed to get better, not worse.

"They said she needs the equipment. They don't know for how long."

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

"They said there isn't much hope."

Ukyou couldn't take it anymore. She hit the floor, unconscious.

It was only several hours later that the doctor allowed her to go. They were used to people fainting when such traumatizing information was revealed. What they had not been used to were said people waking up from the fainting spell and trashing a room with a huge spatula in grief. Once Ukyou had recovered from her sorrow she left the hospital, alone in her thoughts once again. Her pain had threatened to overwhelm her, but just as she had been about to shatter the door to her room and hunt down other things to smash, she had at last remembered something Ai had said in the mountain. That knowledge served to calm her down.

It was true that Ai had taken a turn for the worse, but it didn't matter. Ukyou's crisis of faith had passed with the knowledge that Ai would be okay. She knew it because Ai had said so. It was odd how she had forgotten what Ai had said in the mountain, but there were things about that place that seemed more dreamlike than real, so perhaps she could be forgiven for her lapse of memory.

Secure in the understanding that Ai would be all right in the long run, Ukyou returned to her home, if not in high spirits, at least in better ones than she had been.

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Crepe Suzette was not a happy French Combat Cuisine Specialist.

It wasn't because of business; that was booming. It wasn't because of her combat skills; they were better than ever. It wasn't because of her looks; she was more beautiful than anyone else around.

No. It was because the stick by which she had measured herself had been cut in half.

How peculiar it was that she could not stand someone that had become so instrumental in her life. It had been Ukyou's fault, really. There wouldn't have been any problems if she had not deliberately led Suzette on with her man-like ways. She had seen the sly looks Ukyou had given her when they were still in school together. At first, Suzette had been flattered that at last she had met someone who acted like a gentleman, and he wasn't even French. However, there was the bitter pill she had to swallow upon discovering Ukyou's true nature. Oh, how the horrid girl had tried to twist Suzette into a pervert like the okonomiyaki chef was herself. And to believe she had almost been tricked into giving her heart to a girl, of all things. That was unforgivable.

The glorious days of teaching Kuonji her lesson at every opportunity had drawn to a close. With her equally twisted girlfriend (who was not as pretty as Suzette, which was why she was certain Ukyou still secretly pined for her) on death's door, her rival had become nothing more than a shadow of her former self. Even the French girl was not so cold-hearted that she could not sympathize with Ukyou, no matter how twisted she was. Playing with the take-out girl, Kaori Daikoku, was no fun. The desire to one up the rich, conceited snob simply wasn't there, at least not the way it was when dueling with Ukyou. It just wasn't personal enough.

Ukyou's business was a joke now. Almost no one went to Uk-Chan's anymore. That meant an increase in Suzette's own business, but it was tainted fruit. They were not coming so much because she was superior (which she was) but because the competition was now a joke. She wanted, no, needed the others to acknowledge her as superior in a fair fight, not one in which her opponent was crippled.

No matter how she tried, Ukyou would not snap out of her doldrums. Blaring Jazz music in the restaurant, calling Ukyou a pervert, insulting okonomiyaki, none of it did any good. Ukyou would just look at her with a hollow gaze and say, 'I'm just not in the mood.' How could Suzette counter that? To kick an opponent that was down, one that she had not put there herself, was beneath her. She needed Ukyou back on top of her game so she could knock the heart-string puller off of her perch.

Still, there was one mild form of amusement she could distract herself with, a way to avenge herself upon an annoying little pest. For three days the cutesy little thing had come by and stolen pastries off of Suzette's trays just as she was about to serve people. That she would just whiz by and grab one of HER pastries was an insult. That she would do it three days in a row, marked her for vengeance most foul.

When Suzette had tried to bring her down on the third day, the little kawaii piece of dung had moved too quickly. The French chef had more than enough combat experience to know that the girl's speed was close to unbeatable. That left two alternatives to gain vengeance. One was to buy an Acme Rocket Sled and try to run the thief down that way, but Suzette had heard stories about people having a tendency to slam into rock walls at speeds in excess of 160 miles an hour when using it. That was a little too risky, so she opted for the much safer, and more appropriate alternative.

Suzette checked her watch. The little speed freak would zip past at any moment. She held out a tray of baguettes, inviting them to be taken.

She didn't have long to wait, as a young girl in a frilly pink dress and roller skates practically flew past, grabbing onto one of the baguettes and shouting out, 'Michelle' as she continued onward.

"Ah," Suzette sighed, "It is so comforting to hear the sounds of..."

*BOOM*

"...Baguette Bombs in the air." It didn't matter that the little girl had good enough taste to give the stolen items French names. Thieves needed to be punished.

She watched with an amused air as Azusa Shiratori wobbled past on her skates, charred almost beyond recognition. As satisfying as dispatching her had been, still Suzette felt no real thrill, not like she did when upstaging Ukyou.

It was while she was sweeping the open air portion of her bistro that Ukyou came by, looking even more wretched than usual. Once again Suzette tried her best to get a rise out of her.

"You look like a skeleton. Eat a croissant and put on some weight, you scarecrow."

Ukyou just gave her a sad nod. "Suzette, I'm not in the mood."

The blonde chef began to wonder if someone had substituted the real Ukyou with a robot from the way she kept saying the same thing repeatedly. Suzette sighed, until Ukyou stopped in front of her store and gave out a low gasp. Finally, the cycle was broken. Suzette rushed over to see what had happened. In Ukyou's hands was a note that had been posted in the door. Suzette tried looking over Ukyou's shoulder, but still couldn't make out the words.

"What does it say?" she finally asked.

Ukyou looked even more pathetic than usual as she turned to answer Suzette. "The bank's foreclosing on my restaurant."

Suzette recoiled in horror. "Pay them off, you silly, little fool!"

Ukyou shook her head. "Business hasn't been that good. I've barely made any money since I returned from China."

"If you had kept your regular hours, like you should have done, you wouldn't have this problem."

"I had to see Ai!" Ukyou protested, knowing that not opening the restaurant regularly had only delayed the inevitable. The number of customers had dipped too low to make Uk-Chan's profitable. Her cooking was mostly to blame there. Even if she had stayed, the food would still have tasted terrible.

"It says I've got until the end of the week before a representative finalizes things. Maybe the Tendos will put me up for a while after that." She barely gave Ryouga a passing thought. He had made enough money in one wrestling match to cover living expenses for a year, if not longer. He could afford to live on his own. She was also too proud to accept charity from him. At least she still had that.

Suzette said nothing as she returned to her own restaurant. Something had to be done. Ukyou could not be allowed to leave. Not like that anyway.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

A week passed, and Ukyou sat in the silence of Uk-Chan's, waiting for the bank's representative to arrive. It was odd, how everything was at last coming to a close. Okonomiyaki and Ranma had been her life. Shampoo and Ryouga's presence had somehow diverted her attention from Ranma, allowing her to come to a peaceful resolution concerning him. Now all that had been left was the okonomiyaki, until it too was supplanted by Ai. Now she might lose her too, just as she was about to lose the restaurant, and through that her okonomiyaki. No. Ai had to survive. It just might take time. All she had to do was wait. No matter how long it took, she would wait.

The Tendos had agreed to allow Ukyou to stay with them for a while, at least until Ai recovered. After that she would deal with life as it was dealt to her. With Kasumi, Shampoo, and the Saotomes gone, there was more than enough room for her to stay. She had agreed to help out around the house in return, and could pick up at least a part-time job to pay something resembling actual rent, something the Tendos were a little uncomfortable with since no one else had ever paid them anything for staying there. Even Nabiki felt awkward; paying rent meant fleecing Ukyou for money was going to be a lot less justifiable.

She had all of her possessions boxed up and ready to go. All that remained was for the bank representative to arrive and have her sign some papers to help ease the final transfer of ownership. So Ukyou waited.

And waited.

And waited.

It was nearly four o' clock when she at last resorted to calling the bank to see what the hold up was. The man that answered listened carefully to her and looked up the records to see why there was a delay. The answer proved to be quite surprising. Apparently someone had made anonymous mortgage payments for the next seven months. No amount of begging would pry the identity of the donor from the man, who insisted he didn't know who it was.

That left Ukyou in an awkward position. She could accuse Ryouga of doing it, he was the only one she knew who had enough money, and the inclination, to help her, but an anonymous donation seemed a little too shifty for him. Neither he nor Kyoko would likely have thought to hide their identities at the bank. She loathed being indebted to anyone, and was not going to compromise herself for her mysterious benefactor, but she found it difficult to refuse her seeming good fortune. She didn't want to give up her restaurant. It might have been a distant second when it came to Ai, but it was still there. Now that she had an opportunity to keep it, well, she would do it. However, when she found out whoever helped her out, she would repay them every cent they were owed, with interest.

It was as she was counting her good fortune, while still trying to figure out the identity of her benefactor, that Suzette burst through the door with a party hat on her head and a whistle in her mouth. She blew on the whistle a few times before handing Ukyou a wrapped gift. "I am glad I caught you in time, you silly okonomiyaki person. I feared they had thrown you out before I had a chance to rub...I mean say goodbye. Ah, to be free of your baneful existence at last. I can think of no greater gift to give me. Thus, I give you a going away present of my own. By the way, do you know how much they are offering for the property? The idea that Jazz music would have a chance to echo off of these walls pleases me to no end. Hahaha-"

"I'm not going anywhere. The mortgage has been paid off for a little while. I'm sticking around." Ukyou watched as the delighted look Suzette had on disappeared. "Your hat just wilted," Ukyou pointed out.

Suzette appeared as though she were going to burst out crying. "You mean-spirited, perverted scum! You have led me on once again. I should have known better than to trust an okonomiyaki chef."

Ukyou tried to explain the situation, but Suzette would listen to nothing as she covered her ears and rushed out of Uk-Chan's, cursing Ukyou's name the entire time. Ukyou just shook her head sadly, then realized the French chef had left the going away present behind. Her first impulse was to return it, but that would lead to another confrontation with the irate blonde and possibly a fight, one Ukyou would not win. Instead she sat down and decided to see what Suzette had gotten her.

She ripped open the wrapping paper, only to see a large pastry in the bottom of the box with the words 'Okonomiyaki Sucks' on it. For the first time in months, Ukyou had to suppress the urge to run outside and attack Suzette. Even at what appeared to be the end of their rivalry, she still had tried to have the last laugh.

What a jackass.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ukyou felt afraid. Very afraid. She had been summoned to the hospital by the Konjous, specifically Mariko. Ai's sister hadn't been specific as to why she had requested Ukyou's presence, but there was something in her voice that had scared the hell out of Ukyou. In the past, when she spoke to Ukyou, always there was an underlying feeling of hope that the two shared, as though they drew strength from one another, because each knew Ai would eventually be okay and recover. However, Mariko's voice no longer echoed that feeling. No, there hadn't been much of anything in it.

And now Ukyou found herself running at a breakneck pace to reach the hospital. Something was wrong. Maybe Ai was de...

NO! She would not allow herself to think such thoughts. Ai was all right. She had said she would be, and Ukyou believed her. She wouldn't lie to Ukyou. Maybe to someone else, but not to her 'sweet chef.' There had to be some other reason for the call. Maybe it had to do with her relationship with Ai. Maybe that was it. Something the parents wanted to talk to her about, and for some odd reason they wanted it to be at the hospital.

Even Ukyou couldn't convince herself of that. She hurried onward, praying that her instincts were wrong the entire time. She arrived at the hospital and rushed to Ai's room. where the wonderful sound of Ai's EKG machine was giving off its beeps. How could she have ever loathed that sound?

Ai's mother and father, Mariko, and two doctors were already in the room, all looking solemn. Everyone gave Ukyou a remorseful look, especially Mariko. She looked to her parents, who gave a silent nod of approval. Mariko acknowledged it and moved to Ukyou's side.

"What's going on?" She could tell by the look in Mariko's eyes it was bad. Very bad.

Mariko's voice wavered slightly. "Ukyou. We called you here to let you know we've come to a decision."

Ukyou willed Mariko to remain silent, to not say anything more. If she didn't say anything else, it would still be all right.

Mariko continued. "We thought it was only right that you be here too, since this involves you as well. It's been four months since Ai went," Mariko found her voice wavering, but somehow continued. "On life support. In that time she hasn't shown any sign of reviving. They've tried to wean her off of it, but it never seems to do any good. Absolutely nothing. And there hasn't been any brain activity either. W...we're going to terminate the life support."

In an instant Ukyou grabbed Mariko by her shirt and punched her squarely in the jaw, sending her flying into a wall. A small trickle of blood dribbled down from a cut in her lip as she returned to her feet. "You're under a lot of stress. I'll forgive you for that."

Ukyou couldn't hear those words. The ones spoken before were all that was in her mind. "You can't do that! She'll come back! She promised! She told me so! We have to leave her on it!"

Warily, Mariko approached her, ready for another attack. "Ukyou, we can't. We probably shouldn't have done it in the first place, but none of us wanted to give up hope. We all thought she'd get better, but she hasn't."

"THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE!"

"WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR EXCUSES!" Mariko shot back, her nerves breaking at last. She began crying, trying to control herself and continue explaining, no matter how much it hurt. "Ai...Ai always said that if something happened to her, she didn't want to be kept on life support. She thought it was wrong, and that if the body had given up on life, that was it. The end. She always said that! She used to say I was crazy for not agreeing with her! Hell, I want to live as long as I can, but she didn't call that living. She thought it was just a way of keeping a dead thing alive. She said she never wanted something like that, and that if she had let go, so should we!

"I want to keep her alive too! Don't you think I want to?! But it isn't doing any good, and as much as it goes against everything I believe in, we have to respect Ai's wishes as well! We have to do it for her!"

Ukyou legs gave out on her as she began wailing. Mariko barely caught her before she fell to the floor. No one moved as Ukyou continued crying for minutes on end.

For a moment, Ai's mother almost said that they should leave the machines on, but a look from her husband firmed her original resolve. Everything was as Mariko said. They had been wrong in leaving Ai on it for so long, but she was her mother. How could she give up so easily on her daughter? No. It had taken months, but she was as ready as she was ever going to be to let go of her child.

Ukyou managed to compose herself enough to stand on her own. "C...can I stand by her for a few minutes?"

Ai's parents nodded in understanding. Ukyou moved to Ai's side, still weeping, though not as loudly. She bent low to Ai's face, and began speaking quietly. "Listen to me. This is w...where you have to wake up and m...make everything okay. I remember what you said in the mountain, and you wouldn't lie to me, would you? So wake up, b...b...because this is your last chance." She picked up a limp hand and gently kissed the back of it.

Nothing happened.

"Damn it, Ai. Please. I need you, and you need me. I don't want to lose you like I lost everything else. Please."

Still nothing.

"Please." It was nothing more than the faintest of whispers.

And still nothing.

Ukyou fell to her knees and began crying once more. She knew she was there a while before a pair of hands gently picked her up. She was only dimly aware of Mariko embracing her, as though she was a mother and Ukyou was her child.

Barely, Ukyou heard the words, "Do it." She couldn't be certain who said it, other than that it wasn't Mariko.

Ukyou forced herself to watch as the life support machines were turned off, one by one. In spite of how much it hurt, she knew deep down inside she would never forgive herself if she didn't say goodbye. Even if it meant the tears would rain down forever.

Ukyou listened to the heart monitor, that sound she had hated above all other things when Ai was first moved into the hospital, the only sound she wanted to hear now. For when it at last stopped, it would be the end.

Of everything.

Slowly the time between the beeps grew longer. She could almost feel Ai's own heart getting weaker and weaker with each beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Ukyou continued listening carefully.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

It was odd, but the sounds didn't seem to be getting farther apart. Actually, they now sounded fairly regular.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Ukyou looked on in confusion as the two doctors stared at each other. After a few minutes, one of them began speaking.

"Well, that doesn't happen too often. Usually, if they don't respond to being weaned off the machine, it's over for them. Usually. Don't get your hopes up though, she's still not out of danger," he warned everyone present, then looked to his partner. "How many does that make this year?"

"Three," the other answered, and then shrugged. "Go figure."

Ukyou heard Mariko snort, then chuckle. As Ukyou stared at her in disbelief, Mariko seemed to take even more delight and burst out in hysterical laughter.

Between the incessant giggles, Mariko barely got out, "That's typical of the ingrate. She made us go through all of that heart-rending anguish for no damn reason." She continued laughing hysterically.

Ukyou, though overjoyed with the situation, couldn't quite bring herself to laugh that loud. Instead she moved next to Ai and held her hand. "I knew you wouldn't let me down."

Only the sounds of the heart monitor responded to her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ukyou relaxed in a chair to talk to Ai, not that Ai had recovered and could hear her. She was still in a coma since being taken off life support nearly two months ago, but Ukyou wasn't as nearly concerned as she had been in the past. Three weeks ago the doctors informed her there was brain activity, the first instance of it since her stay in the hospital. It had lasted slightly over an hour before she lapsed back into her coma, but it was progress.

The day they had turned off the machines became something of a turning point for Ukyou. With renewed confidence she began putting her life back into some semblance of order. Her okonomiyaki skills returned, and although there was still a little something missing, the true essence of the flavor had returned. With the return of her cooking came the return of her customers. She did have to cut her prices for a couple of weeks to lure them back, but once they started returning, word spread quickly and most of the regulars began dining at her place once again. The volume of business was still well below the heyday when Shampoo-kun was working as a waiter, but she was able to turn a profit once again.

Likewise she was able to concentrate on her schoolwork, as well as putting on some of the weight she had lost. She didn't regain all of it, but there was now enough that people would no longer refer to her derisively as a 'scarecrow' any longer. Yes, her life had done almost a complete turnaround. There was just one thing missing. Now Ukyou waited in the hospital a couple of hours every day for Ai's return. Somehow she now knew it would happen. She wasn't sure when, but she knew it would, and that was all that mattered.

Ukyou continued talking to Ai about how prices on flour had gone up yet again, all thanks to that freaky weather, when she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. It had seemed to come from around Ai's hand, so Ukyou stopped talking and watched. For over two minutes no further movement came from there. She was about to write the whole thing off as a figment of her imagination when her eyes fell upon the EEG machine that monitored Ai's brainwaves. Her eyes widened as she saw what was perhaps the most joyous sight she had ever beheld; there was now a series of peaks and valleys where before it had been almost flat.

Gently, Ukyou held Ai's hand and began speaking Ai's name softly. She knew it was a foolish wish, the odds of Ai actually regaining consciousness at that particular moment were dismal, but still she tried. Five minutes passed, and Ukyou was ready to give up hope, when she felt Ai's fingers twitch ever so slightly. Ukyou couldn't contain herself as she began to cry, unable to stop and not really wanting to.

Ai felt as though she were waking from a long dream, as she tried opening her eyes. They were barely opened a crack before she shut them again; the light was far too bright. Slowly she became aware of someone crying next to her. Her throat felt raw and parched, and her first attempt at speech in nearly a year came out more as if someone were strangling a frog, but she finally, and painfully croaked out, "Ukyou, is that you?" She was rewarded with an even louder weeping. "You okay?" she managed to get out, concern over the tears cutting through the haze in her mind. Had the stone man hurt Ukyou too?

After a few moments, a tearful, "Yes," answered her. Ai felt relieved at that. Her efforts hadn't been in vain She tried opening her eyes again, forcing them to adjust to the light. Slowly, she became aware of the world around her. Everything had a white tint to it, making her aware that she was not in the mountain anymore, but that was all she could tell. "Where am I?" she asked as her eyes continued to focus.

"You're in Japan," Ukyou explained, still sobbing.

"Why are you crying?" Ai asked, still uncertain of the situation.

As overcome by emotion as she was, it took an effort to compose herself to answer. "Because I was afraid you wouldn't come back."

Ai managed a weak smile, at least she thought she did. "Told you...was only going to sleep...for a little while. Wouldn't...lie to you."

"I know," Ukyou said. "I know. No one else believed me when I told them, but I did. I always believed you." Ukyou's hand gently brushed Ai's cheek. "I love you."

As exhausted as Ai was, she managed a wider smile. "Really?"

"Really," Ukyou confirmed. "I'm sorry it took me so long to say it."

"It was worth the wait," Ai assured her, then felt a wave of exhaustion pass over her. "I need to get some more sleep."

Ukyou nodded in understanding. "Don't keep me waiting so long this time."

"I won't," Ai promised. "I won't." And she went back to sleep once again, this time embraced in sweet dreams of her okonomiyaki chef repeatedly whispering in her ear how much she loved her.

Ai sat up in her bed, frustrated. Rehabilitation was going far too slowly for her tastes. After nearly three months of long hours of physical exertion, she felt she should have been near peak physical condition, nearly year long coma or not, but that hadn't been the case at all. She still had difficulty with her back when she tried to do really hard exercises, although the pain that had been present when she first began her rehabilitation was almost gone. It was only when she tried difficult maneuvers that it would flare up, and the pain from those times wasn't getting any better.

The body itself was in pretty good shape, although she was fairly certain her breasts still sagged a little. She wasn't certain if she was more irritated by that or the back pain. It was wonderful that Ukyou had at last proclaimed her love, but she still wanted to look attractive. There was nothing wrong with wanting to look good for a loved one.

The door to Ai's room opened. "Well, speak of the devil and she shall appear."

"What was that?" Ukyou asked as she entered the room.

"Never mind." Ai was overjoyed at Ukyou's return. It was about the only bright spot in her life anymore. Having her family come by and hang around her was becoming increasingly monotonous. They could be a pleasant break in the boredom, but the way they kept acting like she would lapse back into her coma at any moment was grating on her nerves, and any time she and Mariko came into contact they would continuously snipe at each other. Essentially things were back to normal with her family as far as she was concerned. She loved them, but for all intents and purposes, had outgrown them. However, the opposite was true when it came to Ukyou. She could never get enough of her sweet chef.

Ukyou gave Ai a light kiss on the lips before sitting down in a nearby chair. "How are you doing?"

"Terrible," Ai said, making it appear as though she were about to cry. "The food stinks and I'm bored to death. Let's break me out of this place and go somewhere that doesn't smell of antiseptic."

Ukyou laughed. "Not until you're better. How's rehab going, by the way?"

Ai switched from her mock anguish to genuine disappointment. "Too slow. I'm nowhere near as in shape as I used to be, and," she paused, suddenly fearful of what to say next. "I can't do the things I used to do when I was into martial arts cheerleading. And it goes deeper than just being out of shape. I can do them a little bit, but my back always flares up. I'm not sure why, but I definitely don't like it."

Ukyou gave her as sympathetic look. "I hoped this wouldn't happen. Bubbles-"

"You really let someone named Bubbles operate on me?"

Ukyou gave an exasperated sigh. "Yes. It's not like we had a whole lot of choices at the time. Anyway, she said that with all of the damage done to your back muscles and spine, she didn't think you'd be able to do martial arts cheerleading anymore. Actually, she thought you might never be able to walk again."

Ai looked at her in shock. "I won't be able to do martial arts cheerleading again?"

Ukyou knew something like this was going to happen. That was why she hadn't told Ai sooner. She had hoped Bubbles was wrong, but it appeared the exotic dancer had been on the mark with her guess. "Would you really miss martial arts cheerleading?"

Ai considered that. "Yes. You know how competitive I am, and I was really good at it." She hesitated a moment, unused to being so open with someone. It made her feel so vulnerable, yet she was also glad that she could afford to feel that way with someone. "And it made me feel not so helpless."

"Don't worry," Ukyou said. "I'll protect you."

Ai shook her head. "I'd rather be protecting you."

Ukyou watched as Ai's depression grew greater. It occurred to her that there was something she could do to cheer Ai up. It was something she had debated long and hard about, and wasn't sure if she was ready for, but then she didn't know if she would ever really be 'ready' for it.

"Umm, Ai. There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"Yes?"

Ukyou subconsciously began playing around with her hands. "Now if you don't want to do it, I'd understand. I don't want to rush you, or if you don't like the idea, that's okay too. And if-"

"Ukyou?"

"Yes?"

"You're starting to sound like Ryouga."

Ukyou recoiled at that. If that was the case, it was definitely time to get to the point. "Since Ryouga moved out and became a pro wrestler, I've got some extra space at my home, and it gets real lonely without anyone around. So I was wondering if maybe you'd like to move in with me."

Ai's first reaction was to stare off into space, at least until the whole reality of the situation was finally processed. "You mean co-habitate?" Ukyou nodded. "Are you sure you want me around all of the time?" Ai wasn't certain if it all wasn't some kind of dream. Things like that usually didn't work out so perfectly in her life.

"Look, I've already spent as many waking moments with you as I could when you were in your coma. Now that you're up and about, I want to spend the rest of them with you. So, what do you think?"

In response, Ai reached forward, grabbed Ukyou by the collar, and hurled her form prone on the bed. She then wrapped her arms around her and gave Ukyou a passionate kiss. After almost a full minute, Ai broke it off, letting Ukyou gasp for air.

"I take it that tongue means yes?"

"Indeed," Ai said.

Ukyou found herself reluctant to get up, but knew she had to. There would be time for such things later. She raised herself to her feet and straightened up her outfit. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Ai gave her a lascivious grin. "You can sit on my face and tell me that you love me. It'll be fun. Watch! I can touch my nose with my tongue." She demonstrated that particular talent for Ukyou by easily doing what she claimed.

It was a surprise to Ai that Ukyou proceeded to scowl at her, then turned and went directly for the door. Ai wondered if she hadn't gone too far, although Ukyou had been the one who had suggested they should live together.

"I was only joking," Ai protested, and it was mostly the truth. She wanted to be fully healed for the first time she and Ukyou would be together. She would settle for nothing less than peak condition, that way she could really rock Ukyou's world and show her the advantages of lovemaking between members of the same sex.

Ukyou continued towards the door, then stopped in front of it. She pulled out her giant spatula and wedged it into the door, jamming it shut. She then turned to Ai and began a slow walk towards her.

"Ukyou?" Ai asked, uncertain of what to make of the sudden turn of events.

Ukyou shushed her. "I'm going to show you something that I've been saving just for you. Think of it as a hint of things to come."

Ai watched in nervous anticipation as Ukyou brought one of her hands up to her uniform.

It was forty-five minutes later when a nurse went into the room to check up on Ai. As she entered the room, she saw Ai laying on her bed, looking deliriously happy. "Well now, you look like the cat that swallowed the proverbial canary."

"Oh, this cat ate something all right," Ai assured her. "But it wasn't of a poultry nature. It was closer to... seafood."

The nurse walked towards Ai and noticed something peculiar. "What's that odor?" she asked as she leaned closer to Ai. "It almost smells like fish."

"That would be my breath," Ai almost purred.

The nurse looked suspiciously at Ai. "Your girlfriend was just here, wasn't she?"

"Yep."

"Did the two of you have a good time?"

"It was great," Ai cooed. "We made a great leap in out relationship. She gave me something that she had been saving all of her life for someone special, and it turned out to be me. It tasted great!" She slowly ran her tongue slowly over her lips. "I ate and ate until my jaws nearly gave out."

"I see," the nurse said. "From the effect it's having on you, I think I wouldn't mind trying some of that myself."

Ai glared suspiciously at her. "So your tastes run that way as well?"

"They always have, though it's not usually the sort of thing I admit to strangers. It's really none of their business."

"So," Ai fumed. "You want a...piece of what my beloved chef gave me? Something that was meant for me and me alone?"

"Yes. I must insist."

Ai felt angry at the pushy nurse. She had hurt other women for less than that, given how possessive she was and how much she hated to share. Still, she was in such a good mood, it wouldn't do to ruin it by giving the nurse a good thrashing.

"Very well." Ai handed the nurse the last remaining bite of the 'Kuonji Special Seafood Okonomiyaki' Ukyou had made just for her.

Ukyou had said that, by family tradition, a Kuonji would only make that special dish for someone they truly loved. Ai just hoped Ukyou would forgive her for allowing the nurse to have the one tiny bite that had been left. Ai was fairly certain she could make it up to Ukyou. Oh yes. She had some ideas on that indeed.

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Ai felt giddy as she and Ukyou removed her belongings from the back of the truck they had rented to move her things. At last, the day had come when she would move in with the woman she loved. The doctors had at last run their final tests on Ai, and the rehabilitation had come along as far as it could. That meant Ai could be released. She had already informed her parents of her intention of moving out. At first they were reluctant, but they eventually gave in. So on the same day that Ai was released, she and Ukyou packed up her belongings and went directly from her old house to Uk-Chan's. It was the most beautiful sight Ai had ever seen.

"Welcome to your new home," Ukyou said as she slipped an arm around Ai's waist.

Ai herself was delighted by the gesture. It seemed Ukyou was no longer shy about public displays of affection towards a member of the same sex. When Ai pointed out they might be ostracized for that sort of behavior, Ukyou said quite bluntly she no longer gave a damn about what others thought of her. Ai's opinion was the only one she cared about.

Almost as though she had read Ai's thoughts, Ukyou brought the blonde closer and kissed her on the lips. Also almost on cue, the ostracism began.

"You two sick and disgusting perverts! If you must engage in such immoral behavior, keep it hidden behind closed doors!"

Ai recognized the familiar French-accented Japanese that was spoken. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the French whore who's jealous because she doesn't have someone as beautiful as Ukyou to love." She made certain to pull Ukyou even more closely for emphasis.

Crepe Suzette snorted at that. "I would rather be alone than be perverted. Besides, I did not come here to taunt you."

"Then why are you bothering us? We were trying to have a good time," Ukyou said.

"Ah. I have come here to ruin that. I have been too soft on you in recent months. Now that your lover is alive, ugly, and well, it is time to get back to business."

Ukyou restrained Ai from going after Suzette for the 'ugly' remark.

Suzette sneered at the two of them. "I am sick and tired of you putting down the world's most perfect form of music. Therefore I will start playing it continuously during your business hours once again. I made this song especially for you." She snapped her fingers. From out of her own bistro, loud Jazz music began to issue forth, the speakers clearly directed toward Uk-Chan's.

Ukyou began to recoil in horror at the sounds. Ai started to sway to the music, then stopped. It would probably not be a good time to mention to Ukyou that she rather liked Jazz. Maybe not mentioning that at all would be for the best.

"Why can't you just let it go?" Ukyou growled, realizing that the lyrics 'Okonomiyaki tastes really rotten' were also in the song. And the day has started out so nicely too.

Suzette laughed. "Because I will never forgive you for trying to win my heart and make me into a pervert, not that taking this trollop," she indicated Ai. "on the rebound after I rejected your advances is not punishment enough."

Ukyou held Ai back once again. After calming her down enough that she didn't think Ai would attack, Ukyou released her, then turned to go back to her restaurant. "Today's too good for you to ruin it, Suzette. Nice try though."

Suzette gave her a defeated look. "I see. So my opportunity to make you miserable has passed for today. It is too bad. I'll come up with something better next time." She turned to go, but paused a moment to look back. "If only some stranger had not bailed you out of your mortgage when you were in trouble, then I would have been rid of you."

"Heh. That's right. And I still haven't forgiven you for that stupid pastry you left behind. You rotten..." Ukyou paused then, scratching her head in confusion. She couldn't remember mentioning the fact the payment was anonymous to Suzette. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Suzette smiled and entered her own restaurant, leaving Ukyou to simmer. The blonde must have dug out the information from the bank. Right. That made sense. It was all just another mind game the French chef was pulling. One that served to put Ukyou in a fouler mood.

"I'll buy you a pair of earplugs, dear." Ai said as she led the now miserable Ukyou, who continued covering her ears, into the store. Ai took a second to carefully look Ukyou over. She had been so happy before, and now to have that joy all but crushed made Ai feel so cheated. Still, there was one way the situation might be salvaged. "I know something that will cheer you up."

"What?" Ukyou asked, completely miserable.

Ai began to tell her what she could do, in vivid detail.

Ukyou blushed. "I don't think I'm that flexible!"

"We'll find out, won't we?" Ai led Ukyou upstairs to the bedroom, intent on cheering up the love of her life.

Over two hours later, the cheering was still going on.

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Thanks to Bloodblade for the Azusa scene.

As always, special thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Bloodblade  
Jurai-Knight  
Gary Kleppe  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Bryan Smith  
Wade Tritschler


	44. Epilogue 4: Butterflies

Ranma 1/2 Presents:  
Shampoo 1/2  
Epilogue 4

Butterflies

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All C+C is desired. You can contact me at:  
sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters or any from other series mentioned in this story.

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also put it on his webpage at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Slashley also has it at:

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"History can be compared to an endless waltz. War, peace, and revolution repeats itself like the triple time in a waltz."

Marymaya Treize  
Wing Gundam, "Endless Waltz"

Herb was not a happy Jusenkyou-cursed-physically-and-magically-altered Musk Emperor Dragon (or girl, depending on what mood he was in). There were a multitude of reasons for his state of mind. He was supposed to be the ruler of China by now, but he wasn't; the Shogun was dead. He was supposed to have a glorious army at his beck and call, but he didn't; there was now little left other than a ragtag assortment of Musk soldiers and a handful of mercenaries. The bulk of the mercenaries had departed when they had discovered Herb was essentially broke. He wanted to hold Ranma and Shampoo in his clawed hands and rip their limbs off one by one as a child might do to an insect, but he couldn't; the Dark Man, Mr. Domino, assured him he would be dead if he tried. Virtually all of the lands he ruled were now lifeless; not a thing seemed to grow in them any more, and it almost surely had something to do with what had happened at Mount Phoenix, yet another crime against Herb by the damnable Saotome and his lover.

However, the final blow had come from the information he had just received. It had been two weeks since the events of Mount Phoenix, two weeks since his life had all but gone to hell. His first action, upon returning to his fortress, was to reduce his massive throne room into rubble in a furious rage. After finishing with that, he began to brood. For days he did nothing but lie amongst the rubble, curling his serpentine body among the rocks and wallowed in depression. It had taken two weeks for him to come far enough out of his depression to realize that something important was missing. It actually took him the better part of a day before he realized what that important something was.

He hadn't smacked Lime or Mint around.

For all of his entire life, no matter where he went, the duo had been there. The longest period of time that neither had been around him was a week, and that was only because Lime had to have his appendix removed. Mint had spent the majority of his time waiting for Lime to recover, leaving Herb with a peace and quiet he had never known in his entire life. Despite that, he had grown bored and had been quite grateful for their return. Now he had been without their company for two entire weeks, which more than doubled his depression. As annoying as the pair frequently were, they were still the closest thing to people that resembled friends that he had. That he might have lost them as well seemed too much to bear.

Herb changed into his 'cursed' girl form and began interrogating his troops. It took over two hours of talking among various subordinates to find out exactly where they had last been seen. Now that she knew the two had been ambushed by a horde of Amazons, and not yet returned, it could only mean one of two things. They had either been captured or killed.

Now Herb-chan had a choice to make. She was supposed to lie low and gather her resources until the time came that she would have an opportunity to rule at least part of China. That would mean abandoning Lime and Mint, if they yet lived, in the clutches of the merciless Amazons, or she could try to get them back and risk starting a war with the Joketsuzoku. It was really no choice at all.

"Don't worry, boys! I'll rescue you!" Herb-chan proudly declared to no one but herself.

Herb-chan wasted no time as she concentrated, summoning a blue sphere of chi around her, and took off. Going alone would be the quickest way to the village and rescue the duo. Summoning his troops would take far too long. And if her friends were dead, well, Herb-chan would just have to hope that wiping the Amazons off the face of the earth would qualify as 'lying low'.

Su Ga worked a crick out of her neck as she and Ti Tung made their way out of the village, heading out to exchange places with the main road guards. She hoped she would be able to stay awake this time. Bu had kept her awake most of the night, not that it was not time well spent, but she was exhausted. He might have been soft and lazy, but he sure could kiss well. Who needed a strong man if you could find one with good hands? She was about to ask Ti her opinion on the matter when the blue bolt of chi slammed into the ground between them, knocking both her and her partner unconscious.

Herb-chan dissolved the sphere and surrounded herself with a tighter aura around her body. She remained hovering several feet above the ground next to the entrance to the village, taking a moment to admire her handiwork, before slowly floating into the village itself. She allowed the people to stare at her in fear and awe. If Lime and Mint were dead, she would be the last thing any of them saw.

Using her chi to magnify her voice a tenfold, she shouted out, "You have exactly two minutes to tell me where my men are, or I shall begin leveling this place until no two boards remain nailed together!"

A panicked cry rose from the populous as many of the people tried to get as far away from her as they could. The only exceptions were some of the women, and surprisingly, a handful of men, who drew weapons instead. Looking the armed warriors over, she deemed none of them a serious threat. She considered killing several of them as an example to the others, when the sight of a familiar youth, dressed in wolf pelts, caught her attention.

"Herb! You're here!" Mint cried out as he fell tearfully to his knees. "Thank the Gods! It's been terrible here! They treat me horribly."

Herb-chan's aura flared as her eyes began to glow red, her rage threatening to overwhelm her. "Did they torture you?"

"No!" Mint sobbed. "Julep makes me run errands, cut firewood, clean her house, and all sorts of other things. And she only lets me look at her breasts when she bathes and right before she goes to sleep at night. She won't even let me touch them. None of the girls will, except for Li Na, but her breasts are so small, I thought she was a guy."

A set of bolos wrapped themselves around Mint's head, smashing into his skull and almost knocking him unconscious.

"You jerk!" a short, red-haired girl dressed in a yellow and red outfit, who was indeed flat-chested, shouted at him. "I can't believe I thought you were cute!"

Herb-chan prevented herself from face-faulting. It would have been undignified.

"They won't let me have sex with them either," Mint continued. "Lime can have sex with Cabinet, and he says it's really good. Why can't I have some too? It's not fair!"

At that moment, Lime rushed from around a corner and saw the scene before him, Cabinet right on his heels. He stopped running and waved happily at Herb-chan. "Hi, Herb! It's great to see you again. I was just thinking about you."

Herb-chan sighed. She should have known the two dimwits would not have realized the danger they were in, whatever danger that was. "I've come here to rescue you two. Now come along."

Mint began to rush towards Herb-chan when he heard Julep growl from behind him. He stopped, and looked longingly between her scowling visage and Herb-chan's hovering form. After a moment, Julep's scowl disappeared and she nodded her head. Mint appeared relieved and hurried towards his leader.

Lime looked happily towards Cabinet. "All right! We're going home. I can't wait to show you my rooms and stuff. Remember how I told you I keep a collection of helmets of everyone I knocked out? That's where I got it stored. It'll be neat. I got all sorts of them from just about everywhere."

Cabinet shook her head. "We're already home. I have absolutely no intention of moving into some fortress in the middle of Musk territory."

"That's the Musk Empire," Herb-chan corrected.

Lime gave a hurt look to his wife. "But, I thought we were just staying here for a while until I moved back home."

"No. You're going to live here with your wife, like a proper husband should," Cabinet said. "We are not leaving my home."

Herb-chan interrupted Lime's response. "Why is she calling you her husband?"

Lime grinned sheepishly at the floating white-haired girl. "That's because we're married. Did you know married couples can have sex? Let me tell you, it's great stuff. Better than knocking heads around, or even staring at breasts. Here's how it works. First, you have to put your dic-"

"I already know the mechanics of it!" Herb-chan shouted, cutting off whatever inane explanation Lime was going to give. "What I'm asking is, 'how the hell did you end up marrying one of them'?" She said the last word as though she was referring to a demon instead of an Amazon.

"I beat her in a fight," Lime explained. "And since I'm an outsider, I mean to the Amazons, that means we had to get married, not that I'm unhappy. I like it lots. Cabinet's really pretty and treats me really nice. Did you know her thighs are so strong she can bend steel with them? When she wraps them around me it feels great. And she lets me touch her breasts whenever I want, except when we're in public. And-"

Cabinet gave a warning smack to the back of his head, saving Herb-chan the trouble of going over there and doing it herself.

Herb-chan continued floating and stared evilly at the Amazon called Cabinet. Obviously she had beguiled Lime with some kind of Joketsuzoku magic, as well as preying on his weakness for members of the opposite sex. "Very well. Since you have conquered her, you may bring her back as your plaything. But I don't want her getting underfoot or in my way. I want her locked up so she doesn't cause problems."

Cabinet brandished her war hammer in Herb-chan's direction. "I am not Lime's prisoner and I'm not going anywhere near your fortress. He's staying right here."

"I have a different solution," Herb-chan intoned menacingly as she raised her hand towards the Amazon and allowed a ball of chi to build up in it. "I'll make him a widower. That will solve everything."

"I WON'T LET YOU HURT HER!"

In all of her life, Herb-chan had never seen Lime move with such speed, as he placed himself between Herb-chan's pointed hand and Cabinet, his massive frame dwarfing his wife's form completely, obscuring her figure behind him. It was as though he had suddenly gained the speed of Mint's wolf bloodline, although the way he suddenly roared in anger and hunched back on his feet left no one to doubt it was the blood of tigers that ran through his veins. However, the most surprising thing to Herb-chan was the look of raw hatred that was in Lime's face. She had never seen him so enraged and certainly never expected such anger to be directed towards her.

"Y...you would choose her...over me?" Herb-chan said in disbelief, her concentration shattered so badly that she lost her hold on her chi and floated to the ground.

Sensing Herb-chan's obvious pain, and that she had released her hold on her chi and presented no further threat to Cabinet, Lime relaxed. "It's not that I'm choosing one of you over the other. I like both of you. You're my boss and friend, and she's my wife. Those are two totally different things. I have love for you, but not like I love my wife, because I wouldn't want to have sex with you, even if I could, and I can't, since Cabinet told me you can't have sex with anyone other than your wife. And I love Cabinet because she's a girl, and I can have sex with her, and she kisses real good. And there are lots of other reasons, but I'm not used to talking about romantic things like that so I can't put it into words. But they are real and they are there. I'd love her even if we weren't married." Lime looked between the two of them, then gazed sheepishly at the ground. "I don't know if that made any sense, but that's the way I feel."

Cabinet felt a tear form in her eye. "That was one of the most moving things I have ever heard, Husband."

"Indeed," Herb-chan said softly.

Lime felt like jumping up in glee. "So that means we can all get along after all!"

"No way!"

"Not a chance!"

"I'm not going anywhere near this madwoman that proclaims herself 'emperor' and tried to conquer my people!"

"I am a man! And I won't allow treacherous scum, like these Amazons, within a mile of my fortress, save as my slaves!"

Lime hung his head low as the two began shouting insults at one another. It wasn't until Herb-chan began to glow blue again that Lime spoke up once more. "Look. I want to spend my time with both of you. Can't we work something out?"

Cabinet scowled at her husband for almost a full minute before staring at his sullen visage became too much for her newlywed heart to bear. "Does it mean that much to you?"

Lime nodded.

"Very well. You may go to the Musk's lands whenever you wish."

Lime looked expectantly at Herb-chan, who gave a sigh upon seeing the forlorn expression he was giving her. "Very well, as long as you promise to not say anything about what we are doing at home."

"My lips are sealed." Lime grinned happily.

"Not a word!" Herb-chan warned again.

"Mmmumhph."

"You can unseal your lips now."

"I promise."

"And what about you?" Herb-chan asked Mint.

"Hey! I want to go back," Mint said eagerly.

Herb-chan nodded in approval, but on the inside she felt like hugging the wolf-pelted youth. At least someone clearly wanted to go back with her. She expanded a ball of chi once again, this one encompassing both her and Mint. It took a few moments of concentration to use the ball to lift themselves off the ground and head in the direction of the Musk Fortress.

As they traveled back, Herb-chan thought about what had just happened. The compromise irritated her to the core of her being. Allowing Lime to move freely between the two areas was a terrible risk and she hated being seen acquiescing like that, but Lime's continued companionship was needed as much as Mint's. She should have been willing to sacrifice the pair, like she would any other soldiers, but somehow she simply couldn't bear the thought of allowing their lives to be wasted like that. Apparently even the future emperor of China still needed friends to be at her side.

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A butterfly flaps its wings in China, which eventually causes a hurricane halfway across the world.

However, can the butterfly truly be blamed for causing the hurricane? It is not its fault. It simply caused event 1, which led to event 2, then onward to 3, and so on and so forth until, after a number of events, the hurricane has formed on the other side of the world. But all the butterfly was trying to do was flap its wings to get from point A to point B. Not a thing about creating hurricanes enters its thoughts.

Likewise, butterflies flap their wings all the time, yet few hurricanes come about thanks to their actions. And all it takes is a delay of a moment and then that single chance it had to create the hurricane is lost. The butterfly is never even aware of the possibility. It just wants to fly. There is one simple action of choosing when to fly, then you either get a hurricane or a tiny little air current that results in nothing. It all comes down to the choice of the butterfly.

Butterflies can take many forms. Such was the case of one such 'butterfly', that was currently residing in the village of Joketsuzoku, China. Her name was Kar Kwon, and she was unaware of the fact she was a 'butterfly', not that that made a bit of difference. Unbeknownst to her, she now had the power to either prevent or cause the deaths of millions of innocent people. But, like the real butterfly that has the ability to cause the hurricane should it choose to flap its wings at the right moment, she was not thinking in those terms. No. The choice she had in her mind was nothing along the lines of 'do I kill or save all of those people'. It was much more mundane.

Should she visit her friend, Lyre, or go get something to eat back at home? One choice would lead to death, the other to salvation. All of those lives and their fates would be based on just how hungry one individual was at one precise moment. One path led to the right, the other to the left. To eat or not to eat.

Kar made her choice.

It was midday as Kar made her way through the busy main thoroughfare of the village. Things were still in an uproar from the disturbance that Herb-chan had made with her appearance earlier in the day. Many of the warriors were being left on an alert status, in case the self-proclaimed emperor changed her mind and made a return appearance. Everyone seemed to be out and about, wrapped up in animated discussions about what would be done with the Musk, Lime, and just what had really happened at Mount Phoenix. Rumor had it the council knew, but they were remaining silent and keeping the knowledge of what had occurred to themselves. The handful of young bird people that were being granted protection by the council had been isolated from the general population, and no one could ask them what had happened. But Kar had heard from her friend, Bei Tang, that her son, Flare, had heard that everyone in the mountain was dead long before the thing exploded. Kar was not sure what to believe.

It was all still a great mystery, although Kar had gone ahead and traveled closer to the giant crystalline column that now stood where the giant mountain had once been. Merely being in its presence caused Kar to feel nothing but awe at the seemingly impossible structure. She was still reminiscing about its splendor when the event that so many people's lives depended upon occurred.

Scarf was hurrying through the crowd as quickly as she could. She had almost forgotten what the elders had told her to do, only remembering it at the last minute. If she had come across one of them without what she was supposed to have, there would have been hell to pay. When the elders ordered something done, one damn well obeyed them, or else. There was nothing more humiliating than having your ears boxed at the age of twenty by a person one third your size. So she went in a mad rush through the house, trying to discover where she had left the two bottles filled with the substances she had collected all of those years ago. Upon uncovering them in some dusty, unused cupboard, she rushed out of the house and headed directly to the main hall to drop off her items.

It was because she was in such a hurry that the tip of her foot just caught on the heel of someone else's. Reflexively, she threw up her hands and hit the ground hard. She rolled onto her back, seeing that one of the bottles was going to land on her. Reflexes took over as she snagged it right before it would have struck her. She breathed a sigh of relief, before realizing there was still one other bottle unaccounted for. She spun her head as quickly as she could, while she was still on the ground, catching sight of the container as it fell back towards the earth...

... and directly towards Kar Kwon.

The bottle shattered as it struck Kar directly on the head, completely dousing her with the contents. She stood there in shock for a moment, trying to understand what had just happened. It took several seconds for her to realize that she had not been injured by the shattering glass, and that the fallen Scarf was looking at her in fear. Kar breathed deeply to calm herself down, before seeing that everyone in the busy street was now staring at the sources of the disturbance; both her and Scarf. Her anger built at what she perceived to be an attempt at embarrassing her, and moved towards Scarf even as the fallen girl began to regain her footing.

"Watch where you are going, fool! I could have been hurt!" Kar shouted, then noticed that Scarf was looking at her in genuine fear. Too much fear for a simple tongue-lashing. "What?"

"Y...you were hit with the water."

"What's wrong about that?"

"It was Jusenkyou water." Scarf continued, watching Kar go pale. "The elders wanted all the remaining quantities of it collected, since Jusenkyou was destroyed. I had two different kinds of it I gathered years ago."

Kar went pale. "Wh...what kind of cursed water was it?" She didn't feel different, but that might not have meant anything. Neither she nor anyone she really knew had any direct experience with the cursed waters.

Scarf read the bottle in her hand. "It was the Spring of Drowned Amazon Warrior. Wow! You sure are lucky. The other one was Spring of Drowned Leopard That Changed Its Spots."

Kar considered strangling Scarf, but then decided she'd rather not risk being splashed with the remaining water. She was a slightly curious as to exactly what someone soaked with Spring of Drowned Leopard That Changed its Spots would look like, however. "Why did you keep such waters anyway?"

Scarf placed her free hand behind her head and laughed. "I used to terrorize my little brother by threatening to splash him with the Amazon water. I don't know why I grabbed the other one. Momentary whim?"

Kar found her self-control slipping. Best to get rid of the stupid girl before she caused more problems. "Be more careful," Kar warned.

"I will." Scarf suddenly realized she was still running late, and excused herself as she rushed to the elders once more.

Kar was just starting to understand what a close call she had with having her life permanently altered, when a voice spoke up from behind her.

"Are you all right?"

Kar turned to see that a young woman was standing next to her, looking her over. "Yes. Thank you for your concern." Kar examined the girl closely. She was familiar, but only in a recent sense. It took a moment to match a name to the face. "You're that outsider girl that arrived here with Elder Cologne. Katsumi Tendon, right?"

Kasumi gave her a warm smile. "Close. It's Kasumi Tendo. I'm glad you are all right."

Kar found herself taken by the girl's politeness, even if there was an odd accent to her Chinese. Kar had been far outside the village on a number of occasions, and knew better than most that outsiders were not really all that different from the Joketsuzoku, not in the ways that mattered. "I'm lucky that was Amazon water. I can't imagine what would have happened if it had been something else."

"Yes," Kasumi agreed. "It almost splashed on me. I'm certainly glad it didn't. I can't imagine what it would be like to be an Amazon warrior."

Kar nodded her head in agreement. "Such a life is not an easy one. I don't think you're the sort that would have adapted well to it. So long, Kasumi Tendo."

"So long." Kasumi waved pleasantly and went on her way once more.

Kar Kwon wrung out her hair as she watched Kasumi leave, then continued on her way once more, unaware of the 'hurricane' she had just caused. The effects of what had happened would never be known by her, and perhaps it was for the best, for it was unlikely she would have been able to deal with what she had inadvertently done to so many millions of lives.

Had she taken the other path, she would not have been there to shield Kasumi Tendo from being splashed with the water of Spring of Drowned Amazon Warrior. Kasumi Tendo, who, thanks to the piece of the signet ring she kept on the cord around her neck, had had the dimmest of memories of a previous life restored to her, memories that gave her a handful of the techniques from her previous incarnation over a thousand years ago. As it stood now, she would never remember more than a handful of those techniques, and even then usually only at times of great stress or relaxation.

However, had she been soaked with the Amazon water, everything would have changed. The magic of the water would have triggered total recall of the life and personality of Hu Chiang, a resurgence that would have buried Kasumi Tendo's personality under the weight of that of a long-dead Amazon leader, at least as long as she was in her cursed form. Hu would have been startled at first, hardly surprising considering that she would not recognize any of the people that were inhabiting the village she 'ruled.' After disabling more than thirty warriors, and nearly half of the elders, calmer heads would have prevailed and the situation explained to her. The shock of being 'reborn' so many centuries after her death, and the fact that she was supplanting the personality of an innocent girl that had simply been unlucky enough to somehow be linked to Hu, would have made her voluntarily allow herself to be splashed with hot water and revert Kasumi Tendo to her true form.

After being informed of the situation, Kasumi would have talked at length with the elders, and decided to 'converse' with Hu, using copious amounts of hot and cold water and the elders as a go-between. Eventually she would have allowed her body to be temporarily 'shared' with Hu. Two hours every day would be spent in cursed form, allowing Hu to have some freedom, although Hu insisted if a quantity of Nyanniichuan was found it be used to cure Kasumi of her condition.

However, no water would have been found, and Hu would have slowly adapted to the changes of the centuries, and been thrust into the role of 'advisor' to the council. (a role she despised, yet the elders would have insisted she take, since she was the 'Greatest And Most Powerful Leader Ever.' Utter nonsense in her eyes). In the decade to come, a danger would have risen; one that threatened to bury the Joketsuzoku and most of Western China. Seeing there was no other way to avoid or solve the problem without a great deal of blood spilled, Hu Chiang would have had to make a choice, one she had had to make far too many times when she had been truly alive. She could allow others to fight the battles, others that lacked the abilities she had and would fall, or she could take matters into her own hands. To allow possibly hundreds, or thousands to die when she could do something to prevent it, was unacceptable to her. So, for the first time since she had returned to 'life,' she did something that would affect Kasumi Tendo's very existence, without consulting her. It was perhaps the most difficult thing she had ever done, but the needs of two were far outweighed by the needs of thousands.

The act itself would have been simple for one with her abilities. She would have snuck into the Musk Fortress, grabbed the ladle known as Chiisuiton, and used it on herself, locking her in the form of an Amazon warrior, and then destroyed Kiifuiton, effectively sealing off Kasumi's personality forever. Hu would not have wanted to do it, but in her current state, all it would have taken was a splash of hot water at the wrong time of a battle and both her life and Kasumi Tendo's would have been over. The risk was too high, and if Kasumi Tendo had to pay the price, then so be it. The stain would have been on Hu Chiang's spirit, and she had had plenty of those to begin with. She would just add it to the tab on her soul, for her actions would have saved the lives of thousands, and perhaps millions, in the long run. She could live with herself if it came to that.

However, such was not the case. Kar Kwon had unintentionally prevented Kasumi from being splashed, and millions would end up dying because of it.

Such was the way of the butterfly.

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However, there was more than one butterfly capable of creating hurricanes in the world. Another flapped its wings, and the hurricane simply appeared somewhere else...

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Perfume found herself inexplicably on a barren plateau, devoid of any life, surrounded on every side by high, craggy mountains that stretched off into obscurity in the distance. Blackened rock dotted the landscape, giving everything a desolate bleakness that depressed her by merely being in its presence.

[These were the so-called 'Blasted Lands,' far to the north of the village. No life grew there now. No life would exist there again. All thanks to Ranma Saotome.]

It was the dead of night, and though there was no moon, Perfume could still make out the land around her. Unarmed and dressed in her favorite pink and black outfit with the golden tiger on the front, she stood alone. The wind howled across the plateau, sounding like a wounded beast screaming in agony. The sound of thunder in the distance added a rhythmic pulse to the cries of the wind.

[No. Not thunder. Something worse.]

The sound grew closer, and through the blackness she could see hundreds of tiny red pinpoints of light lined up in a huge row that seemed to stretch across the plateau itself. All of them were in pairs, one set directly above another set, the bottom sets bobbing up and down rapidly while the other sets shifted only a little. The lights grew closer, allowing her to see what had created them, and her heart knew fear.

As the lights approached, she could see there were not 'lights' at all. They were pairs of eyes, seemingly glowing in the darkness. Black beasts of darkest night were what produced the lower sets of eyes. They galloped forth across the plateau, producing the sound of thunder that now seemed to echo within Perfume's skull. Their gallop made them appear as though they were perhaps horses, but one good look at them told that nothing could be farther from the truth. The animals were indeed similar to horses, their legs, long bodies, neck and head bore the general appearance of such creatures, but that was where the similarities ended. Horses were not close to fifteen feet high and almost two tons in weight. Horses could not thunder across the plains at over sixty miles an hour without slowing. They did not have night black skin that had the appearance

[and toughness]

of armor plate. They did not have two rows of sharpened teeth, that could crack bones as though they were nothing more than desiccated twigs. They did not look at you with red, pupiless eyes the color of blood that seemed to size you up, as though they were trying to decide if they should smash in your skull with their legs or rip out your throat with their teeth.

And horses did not radiate the feeling of wrongness these creatures did. There was something unspeakably evil about them.

[Abominations all. They should not exist. They should all be destroyed.]

As terrible as the creatures that thundered across the plains were, the ones that rode astride their massive backs were all but identical. They appeared to be humans, at least on the outside. They wore jet black armor themselves, as though they had been formed from parts of the beasts they rode. Armor that was not skin, but might as well have been, for it encompassed their entire bodies. The helmets they wore upon their heads were visored masks, the eye slits that showed off their red eyes the only concession of permitting the world to see that there was indeed something alive inside the armor. The masks were stylized to appear skull-like and the armor matched with a mockery of bones, set up to look like a basic human form on the outside, as though they had fused on a white skeleton to themselves.

The saddles borne on the backs of the beasts were all identical to one another as well. She could see modern weapons, such as rocket launchers and automatic rifles, fitted around the beasts, but she also saw swords and lances that were much closer to the riders' grip.

[For they enjoyed using those far more than the weapons of the new age. They relished in the feeling of the impact metal made on flesh, and blood spraying over them and their mounts. That was what they truly lived for, grinding others beneath their beasts hooves, not slaying them from a distance. Death was meant to be savored.]

They seemed to move as one in a straight line, an unbreakable wall of abominations. An unstoppable tide that would crush whatever lay in their paths. Gazing upon that ever approaching army,

[The Rhyde]

Perfume wondered which was worse, rider or beast.

[There was no difference between the two, they were of one mind and one soul, now. There was no longer a point where one ended and the other began. To kill one meant killing the other. A union made in Hell.]

She watched, unfazed, as the beasts moved towards her, threatening to crush her form underneath their powerful hooves. Yet, just as they were almost upon her, they parted, thundering past her on each side. They continued onward, seeming to be thousands deep, until at last even the tide passed her.

She could feel things change around her as she turned. On some instinctive level, she had known there was nothing behind her before the Rhyde had gone past, but now she felt something, a presence, and turned around to look upon it.

As she turned, she was suddenly in a well-lit area of a canyon, still within the Blasted Lands, surrounded by a horde, thousands strong, of ordinary-looking people. Many of them were armed, and unlike the horsemen -who were even now running along the edge of the sea of humanity, stopping and forming a barrier around those people- they lacked the ancient weapons those dark warriors favored.

No one seemed to take notice of the single Amazon in their ranks, as though she was not worth noticing. Their faces were ones filled with hope and ecstasy, a look that bordered on fanaticism. A look part of Perfume wanted others to give her, that gaze of total devotion. All of their stares were pointed towards one direction: forward. Perfume followed their gaze to see the sheer, yet uneven, wall of rock that was before them. A raised dais of black stone was in front of the wall, and it was to this that the crowd had their attention riveted.

A dark-skinned woman that appeared to be in her late twenties, attractive, but not beautiful, with long black hair, stood upon the center of the raised dais, high enough for all to see clearly. She wore an outfit that was green and blue, yet seemed to shimmer with a glow that captured one's attention, crying out that she should be listened to. On her sides were two giant men,

[Not men. Titans]

each nine feet tall with bare arms that were as nearly as thick as a normal man's chest. They were identical, save that one had hair of white while the other had hair of black. Their entire bodies seemed to radiate power, and from their positions so close to the woman, yet at a level lower than her, it was obvious they served as her bodyguards. It was curious, for with one look at the woman, Perfume sensed that she had no need of such protection. She radiated even greater power.

The woman gazed down at the crowd of people, giving them a look of approval. Perfume felt their previous awe change to sheer adulation with that one simple gaze.

The person next to Perfume, an unremarkable man in his middling years, held his rifle high in the air and shouted out one word.

"KHAN!"

Everyone that was directly around the man, save Perfume, took up the cry as well. That single word.

"KHAN!"

It expanded outwards in a circle from there, a wave of cries of that single word. People raised their various weapons, while shouting out the name, until the noise began to echo off the walls of the canyon, the roar of 'Khan' bouncing off them repeatedly until it overlapped into a deafening cacophony. And just as it seemed the entire mass of people shouted as one, the woman raised her right arm in triumph.

It was also then that Perfume saw the huge wall of uneven stone seem to shift as well. She found her gaze drawn skyward, and saw that the 'stone wall' before her was nothing of the kind. It was a statue, thousands of feet high, and in an exact image of the woman before them all, the one dubbed 'Khan.' The worst thing about it was not the design of the statue itself, but something far, far more disturbing.

It raised its own right arm high above its head, as though it were nothing more than a colossal marionette that responded to the woman's every whim.

[It was.]

[It is.]

And then Perfume woke up, screaming.

It took her nearly five minutes to bring her breathing under control. Once she felt she could handle it, she went outside to breathe in the brisk night air. Still in the process of calming down, she turned her thoughts inward. It had been a dream, but it was also more than that. She felt it all the way to the core of her being. Now, she thought, all the plans she had made for the future were in jeopardy. New plans had to be laid, as she felt her gaze inexorably drawn to the north.

Far to the north, past the Blasted Lands, in the country that had borne varies names over the centuries, but was now known as Mongolia, a woman sat up from the satin sheets of her bed and screamed. She quickly looked around the room, preparing to defend herself while making certain there were no intruders in her presence. Understanding that she was indeed alone, she forced herself to calm down. Once she was convinced she was completely awake, and in full control of her emotions, she got out of her bed and headed towards the balcony attached to her bedroom. Stained glass doors opened to her touch, allowing the night air to blow against her skin. In the future, she would have to guard her life more carefully; many would desire her death, but such was the path she had chosen of her own free will.

For now, she reveled in the night air, allowing it to calm her further. The dream had disturbed her, for deep inside she knew it was no ordinary dream, but a portent of things to come.

In it, she had seen herself surrounded by an army, thousands strong. Surprisingly, over half of the army, and the fiercest of the warriors, were women. Almost all of them held modern weapons on their person, but most seemed to favor weapons of old. They were of many races, but the majority were Chinese, of that she was certain, which left one likely suspect that seemed to stand in her path towards greatness.

The Joketsuzoku.

If that were not an ill enough omen, there was a girl, no more than in her early twenties, with pink hair that hid half of her face. There was a scar beneath that hair, inflicted by one the girl had called friend, she knew that without being able to see it. And there was a look in the young woman's eyes that held the promise of quiet ruthlessness. An admirable quality, if it was not in the way of the woman who was now standing on the balcony. The dream had even provided her with a name, one she would listen for, and perhaps do something about. The army that had surrounded the woman had told her what the name was, the army calling it out with a devotion that the woman could only pray would be directed towards herself, someday.

Perfume.

"Mine is the hand that will shape the future, Perfume of the Joketsuzoku. I will show this to you, and if you or any others dare to even attempt to bar the path of my greater glory, you shall be devoured by the land itself. Mine is the way, and you will acknowledge it even as your soul is torn asunder."

And in the distance, as if in answer to her threat, the land trembled ever so slightly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kasumi Tendo was alone in the house of Shampoo's mother as she hummed to herself, cleaning the dishes that were leftover from dinner. Comb, Shampoo's mother continuously insisted that it was the job of Shampoo's father (whom, curiously, Kasumi still had not learned the name of) to do that, but Kasumi felt as though she were not earning her keep if she did not do something. Besides, keeping house had become almost a reflex with her, and if she did not do at least some cleaning she thought she would...well, she wasn't sure what she would do.

Lately, things had gone very well for Kasumi. Last month she and Cologne had finally managed to stabilize the elder's deteriorating condition. They could not reverse how much time and health Cologne had lost, but at least she no longer needed Kasumi to help anchor her life-force. Cologne only had a few years left. Perhaps three more at the most, but at least they had gained some time.

The months Kasumi had spent in Joketsuzoku had really been wonderful. It was the first time in her life that she had spent any real time from home, and though she had missed it terribly at times, it was also quite refreshing to have the change of scene. The Amazon village was a fascinating place, and very busy in the last few months. According to Comb, it was the busiest she had ever seen it, and that was because of the events of the last few months.

Apparently, the nearly unthinkable had happened in that Cologne, Be Dea, and Shou Ya, the three most powerful members of the council, had agreed to make sweeping changes that others thought would have been unheard of as little as two years ago. The changes occurred in every facet of life. The tiny hydroelectric plant that had served as the principal power source for the village had been rebuilt into a far larger one that more than quintupled the power output it had previously made. Alternative sources of power were being used as well, especially with the influx of diesel generators, and fuel for them, that had been bought from some outside source. There was some speculation as to how they were obtained, but the council was remaining silent on that.

Several teachers had been hired to supplement the already existing body of ones present in Joketsuzoku; a surprise considering how insulated the council had been abut outsider ideas being taught in the tribe. The system of schooling the Amazons used was very thorough, but it lacked some of the more modern kinds of courses, like computers, mechanics, and studies on how the political systems outside of Joketsuzoku worked. For some reason the children that lived in the village didn't seem to think that was a very desirable improvement, however.

There were other changes as well, such as the now open encouragement of outsider women to join the tribe. Even the laws on being defeated by an outsider woman had been revised so that the option of having them join the tribe instead of being hunted down and killed was now being very strongly encouraged. Kasumi thought that was nice, since hunting down and killing people seemed terribly wrong to her. The program had some measure of success. She had heard many villagers comment on the numerous new faces that had joined the tribe in recent months.

The biggest change of all, however, was that males were now being given a voice in how things were run. It was a small voice, without much influence or power, but it also marked the first time that they had a say in matters of the village. It was a big hit among the male population, once they adjusted to the fact that they had influence, but it was still met with a lot of criticism among the female population, Comb included. Of all the new changes that had occurred she had loathed that change the most, and had argued with Cologne for hours about her 'insane idea of allowing stupid males a chance to screw things up!' Naturally she failed to persuade Cologne to change her mind, but Comb still complained about it to this day.

Comb proved herself to be a very...interesting woman. Shampoo had been quite accurate when describing her as being emotional. The woman would go through a spectrum of feelings in a matter of minutes, including bouts of anger that would have made Akane seem more like Kasumi in temperament. A perfect example was telling the tale of what had happened to Shampoo during her disappearance for what was nearly a year now. Comb's reaction to discovering that Shampoo was alive was a sight to behold; she practically went through a wall in joy. Then she was informed of Shampoo's cursed status, and nearly blew up in anger. It took nearly three hours for her to calm down enough to convince the others she wouldn't let anything accidentally slip about Shampoo's condition. After that, Kasumi and Cologne spent the next two hours trying to convince Comb to not hunt Shampoo down, telling her it would be for the best to leave her daughter alone so she could locate a cure and adjust to her new relationship with Ranma. Comb wasn't happy about it, but agreed.

Things were fine for a while after that. Kasumi got along with Comb very well, both on a personal level and for what she was doing in helping with Cologne's deteriorated condition. Things changed though when 'the surprise' was discovered. It didn't take long after Kasumi moved in to realize what had happened to her. After her condition became obvious, and Kasumi informed the others of what that meant, things became somewhat exciting, for lack of a better term. Once the shock of what had happened settled in, Comb (who, upon being informed of the situation, was rendered catatonic for nearly two days) became much more understanding, in spite of the unusual turn of events. Now she treated Kasumi as she would any other daughter (that wasn't a warrior), and had officially adopted Kasumi into her family, despite Kasumi's insistence that she was quite happy with the one she had. Comb even promised to remain silent about what had happened, as per Kasumi's wishes.

Kasumi interrupted her reverie by going to feed Birdy. The pterodactyl cooed as he was fed pieces of raw meat, Kasumi beaming at her pet. It had been so nice of her sisters to send him to her, even if they pretended they had had nothing to do with it. Lately, she found her thoughts drifting back to home, and perhaps stopping by for a quick visit would be in order. The only time she had seen her family in over a year and a half was during her father's wedding. Although she sent letters to them every week to let them know she was all right, she still missed them terribly. But returning now would not be a good idea. It would complicate everyone's lives unnecessarily. No, she would be staying in China for at least a little while longer.

She had no sooner finished reading, settling herself down in a chair, when there was a knock at the door. Kasumi got up and crossed the room to let the visitor in. She was surprised to see Perfume standing there. Though the pink-haired girl had stopped by from time to time, her visits were very rare. She had always treated Kasumi nice enough, but there was no bond between them of anything other than that of casual acquaintances. The few times Perfume had come by Comb's home, she usually exchanged a formal greeting with Kasumi and asked where Cologne was.

It seemed Perfume was always around either Cologne, or one of the other two elders: Be Dea and Shou Ya. Kasumi had made a passing reference to Cologne about how much time the elder had seemed to spend with the young girl. The old woman answered by saying that she hated to admit it, but the girl had had some good ideas and had managed to convince Cologne, as well as Be Dea, that there were some necessary changes that were going to have to be made at the village. Shou Ya needed no convincing since she had always been insistent that they should modernize everything. Perfume was like a breath of fresh air to that one.

The few things Cologne had mentioned to Kasumi seemed to indicate that Perfume was the one responsible for most of the changes, even going so far as to be allowed to address the council herself and managing to convince a number of them without the backing of any of the three most powerful members of the council. Something that had been unheard of, until now.

After an exchange of greetings, Kasumi informed Perfume that Cologne was not present. Surprisingly, Perfume said she had come to speak with Kasumi, and promptly entered the house without waiting to be invited. The eldest Tendo daughter took note of the rude behavior. It was unusual for Perfume to conduct herself in such a manner, but upon entering the house, and seeing the pink-haired Amazon in a good light, any thoughts of mentioning the social gaffe were quickly erased from Kasumi's mind.

Perfume looked terrible, with large dark rings under her eyes and a rumpled look to her face. Her scar, which was normally hidden behind her hair, was partially visible due to the tangle of hair that Perfume now had.

Perfume took note of Kasumi's concern. "I don't look too good, do I?"

Kasumi tried coming up with something that would agree with the statement without sounding too rude, but nothing came to mind. The best she could come up with was a, "I could help you brush your hair, if you like."

Perfume gave a sharp little laugh at that. "No thanks. What ails me will not be cured by a mere brushing of the hair."

"What's wrong?"

Perfume gave a wan smile. "I had a dream again. The same dream I had several months ago. I'm afraid I can't wait any longer, as much as I wish I could. I'll have several years to prepare though, at least I have that."

"I don't understand," Kasumi said.

Perfume shook her head. "You don't need to concern yourself with that." She sat down in a nearby chair, and insisted Kasumi do the same. Kasumi watched as the girl sagged into the seat, as though exhausted.

"I need to ask you something, Kasumi Tendo," Perfume said. "A question only you can answer, given your outsider status here. That and your rather unique perspective on the world."

"All right. I'll try my best."

"Let us say that there was this person, a basically good person, that discovered her people, and thousands of other innocents, were going to be hurt by someone, a bad person. This bad person only wants to hurt the basically good person and others for no other reason than she wants to. Now let's say the basically good person is in a position to choose between allowing those thousands of innocents to suffer, which would include her people, or hurting thousands of other innocents which would not include her people. Now, since that person would have noble intentions for hurting so many innocents, do you think she has a chance of saving her soul?"

"I don't think anyone has the right to make that sort of choice."

Perfume gave her a flat stare. "Not making a choice is the same as making one. It's like holding back important information from someone close to you. Information that might cause pain, but should still be told since they have a right to know of it."

Kasumi looked guiltily at the ground at that.

"Besides," Perfume continued. "That wasn't the question I asked. Do you think she has a chance to save her soul?"

Kasumi's head rose up as she looked directly at Perfume. The faintest hint of tears were in the older girl's eyes. "No. I don't think so."

Rather than seem saddened by Kasumi's answer, Perfume just nodded her head in agreement. "That's what I figured. I just wanted to hear someone else say it too."

The moments seemed like hours to Kasumi, as Perfume sat there, deep in thought. The younger girl began speaking after several of those extended moments. "It doesn't really matter. I do what I must, because I am the one that is willing to make those decisions. And I'm the only one that can do it and still has a chance of victory. I guess it's a good thing Shampoo wasn't able to come back. It would have complicated matters. I'll have my hands full enough as it is. If she were here, there's a good chance she would have been an obstacle in my rise to power, and obstacles are for killing." Perfume gave a grim smile at that.

Kasumi looked horrified at the confession. "You'd kill her to do all of those terrible things? Why?"

Perfume had a wild gleam in her eyes as she carefully rose from out of her seat. "Because I must. I figured it out, you see, the dark man couldn't lie to me. He might have carefully veiled his words to try to manipulate me into doing what he wanted, but I don't think he could lie." At last tears began to fall from Perfume's eyes. "I will make the blood flow in rivers because I must. I remember what he said. Someday, we will have an empire that will reach out to the stars themselves. Billions will fall under the rule of the Joketsuzoku. We will be the power, but only if I lead my people. That was what the man said. I will never allow anyone to shatter my people. No matter who has to fall, we will survive."

With those words spoken, Perfume seemed to regain some measure of composure. "Even if I am to be damned, that doesn't mean I must drag everyone else down with me. I would keep my hunt pack from harm, although they'll despise me for it. I'll have to move carefully when it comes to them. The same goes for my family. And the Mount Phoenix people as well. There are too few of them to make a real difference, and I would not drive them into extinction for our cause. Shampoo is already out of harm's way. Those are the majority of ones that I can spare and save, I think. If I try for many more, I might tip my hand."

Perfume nodded her head, as if deciding on something, then turned to the only other occupant in the room. "It is time for you to take your leave of us, Kasumi Tendo. You should not be a party for what will happen in the years ahead. We still have many years, thankfully. What happens next no longer concerns you."

Kasumi found herself feeling sorry for Perfume, in spite of all of the terrible things of which she had spoken. "Perhaps I can help."

Perfume laughed at that, a hollow, empty laugh. "You are not one of us, Kasumi Tendo. Do not fool yourself into believing otherwise. You mean something to Shampoo, and I would keep you out of this for her sake. It would be best if you did not waste time. You should be gone by the end of the week, I think." Perfume moved to leave the house. "Besides, I think it's time you showed your new addition to the rest of the family." Perfume gave her a knowing wink, and then departed, leaving Kasumi alone once again

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kurumi Tendo heard the doorbell ring last, yet managed to rush to the door first. Now that Silk was starting to get on in her pregnancy, Kurumi was usually the one that had to answer the door. She was hungry, like always, and briefly considered making a pass through the kitchen. She even got as far as placing one foot in the doorway, spotting a baked chicken sitting in the middle of the table, before a voice from somewhere in the house boomed. "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY FOOD, YOU WALKING STOMACH!"

Kurumi quickly stepped back out of the kitchen and hurried on to the door. Silk sure had been getting moody lately, although everyone assured Kurumi that that was normal behavior for someone in her eighth month of pregnancy. She found herself hoping her sister would be delivered soon. Maybe that would make Silk pleasant again. Somehow, Kurumi had found herself on Silk's bad side, and all because of one little incident. It wasn't her fault that no one had told her that the tofu and squid casserole that had been left out was Silk's. The Amazon was now using some kind of ESP (there was no other explanation for it) to detect Kurumi's presence when she approached the kitchen. Getting enough food to keep both of them going was starting to cut into the family budget a little. Nabiki had left for college, but frequently came back weekends, like this one, which helped the food bill remain high. Kurumi began to wonder if perhaps an after-school job would be in order.

Kurumi at last arrived at the door and opened it for the visitor. The caller was a very attractive young woman, in an elegant Chinese style outfit, that appeared familiar to Kurumi. She knew she had seen the face somewhere before.

"Hello," the newcomer bowed before Kurumi. The short girl found herself admiring the melodious voice the visitor had. The pleasantness seemed to ooze out of the guest, making Kurumi wish she could sound like that.

The visitor spoke again. "You must be my new sister, Kurumi, right?"

Kurumi snapped her fingers. "I've got it. You're my sister, Kasumi! Father and the others show me pictures of you all the time. You're even more beautiful in person."

Kasumi blushed at the unexpected compliment. "You're very pretty also."

A smile found it's way to Kurumi face as she scuffed her feet at that. No one ever seemed to notice her since Akane and Natsume were so much more attractive than her. "It's very nice to meet you." She at last bowed towards her sister.

"Who is it, Kurumi?" Akane's voice shouted from within the house.

"It's our sister, Kasumi."

The instant the last word left her lips a sound similar to a pack of stampeding elephants echoed through the house. In moments Akane, Nabiki, and Soun ran from around the corner and into the entryway. Three pairs of eyes bugged out as they laid eyes upon Kasumi for the first time in months.

Just as the trio of Tendos came into sight, something occurred to Kurumi. "Hey! How come none of you mentioned she had a baby?"

The sound of three bodies simultaneously hitting the floor shook the house to the foundations.

Kurumi watched closely as Silk attended to all three of the unconscious Tendos. Natsume kept one eye on them and one on her new sister, still hesitant as to what to make of the situation. That she had at last met her oldest sister was something of a let down. The way some of the others had described Kasumi, she had half expected her to fly down from Heaven on a pair of white feathered wings. She did seem to be nice, though there was the one little unexpected addition.

"I take it no one was aware that you had a child while you were gone?" Natsume asked.

"It's not quite like that," Kasumi said, taking her eyes off her family long enough to rock the child in her arms once again.

"Wow! We have a nephew, cool," Kurumi said as she stood on her tiptoes to get a better look at the baby. He was a cute little thing, and she felt the unexpected urge to start babbling unintelligibly and make strange faces at the child.

"So who's the father?" Silk asked.

"Well," Kasumi began hesitantly. "That's sort of hard to explain."

"You don't know who it is?" Natsume asked, shocked. Kasumi was turning out to be just full of surprises.

Silk mirrored Natsume's unspoken sentiments. "Look. I certainly don't have any problem with you taking on multiple lovers. There were times in my life when I was sorely tempted to do the same thing, but somehow, I don't think your father is going to be able to handle that. Can you think of some way of explaining it without giving him a heart attack?"

"Oh no!" Kasumi nearly shouted as her cheeks turned bright red. "It's nothing like that. The situation is a bit more complex."

It was then that Akane, Nabiki, and Soun all began to revive at the same time. Soun looked towards the two daughters that were laying next to him. "Hehehe. I just had the most horrible hallucination. I dreamt that Kasumi had come back home with a baby."

"The hallucination is standing right next to you, Father." Natsume said dryly. "But our nephew sure is cute."

Soun's hair stood on end as he saw that the hallucination was still there, and indeed the little hallucination-child in hallucination-Kasumi's arms was hallucination-cute.

Akane only dealt with the situation a trifle better by staring at Kasumi in shock and going 'Bububububu' repeatedly. Kurumi finally helped out by grabbing Akane's lower jaw and helped her form the word, 'baby.'

Nabiki dealt with the situation best by simply scowling in Kasumi's direction. "While Daddy and Akane are still conscious, why don't you explain things, Sis?"

"Yes, Kasumi, explain yourself!" Soun said, finally regaining some measure of composure even as he trembled.

"Well, Akira is my child-"

That was all it took for the deluge of tears to flow in an unprecedented stream. Silk had already taken the precaution of putting on a raincoat, galoshes, and opening an umbrella, so she would be able to console her husband without fear of drowning. Kurumi began racing around the house, grabbing various flowerpots and allowing her adoptive father to unintentionally water them for her.

"WAAAAAA! I'm a grandfather, my little girl got married, and I wasn't invited to the wedding!"

"Oh no. I'm not married."

No one had ever seen Soun's tears dry up instantly like that. Kurumi stopped watering plants and began to quickly move away from Soun. The aura he began projecting was far more intense than any demon head he had ever formed. "Someone violated my little girl?" he said so quietly that it was little more than a whisper, a whisper that everyone managed to hear anyway.

"I'll kill him," Soun began, his aura glowing even brighter.

"Ah, Father?"

"I'll rip out his heart."

"And I'll help," Akane added in almost as much anger.

"Father?"

"And then I'll flay the flesh from his bones, but leave him alive so I can pour salt into every open wound on his body."

"And I'll help."

"Father?"

"And then I'll grind his bones into powder, but still leave him alive. It'll be tricky, but there are ways. And then the pain will really begi-"

The rest of his diatribe was cut short by a metal-shod staff that slammed into his head. Rather than fall unconscious from the blow, he turned, as though someone had tapped him lightly on the head.

"Your daughter has something to say to you," Silk pointed out.

At last something cut through the red haze of anger that had surrounded Soun. "Eh?"

Kasumi began. "As I was trying to explain, Father, I was not violated."

"Y...you weren't?" Soun's aura dwindled as he tried to comprehend what was being said.

"No. You see. Akira is my adopted child."

"Adopted?" The edges of comprehension began dawning.

"Yes. So there is no need to hunt down and kill anyone," Kasumi pointed out. "Don't you feel better now?"

"Adopted?" More edges began forming.

"Yes, Daddy," Nabiki finally added. "Adopted meaning, she adopted him. Took him in under her wing after the little guy was born from somebody else, isn't that what you meant, Kasumi?" The tone of voice she used sounded dry, and the look she shot Kasumi was a suspicious one.

If Kasumi noticed, she gave no indication. "Yes, it is."

Akane finally began to speak. "How did that happen?"

Kasumi smiled as she stared into Akira's beaming little face. "The Amazons located a deserted village somewhere in that big area to the north, where nothing grows. They think he must have been abandoned by his parents when the people realized the land was ruined. I don't know how they could have left someone so beautiful behind." She sounded wistful as she let Akira down on the ground, smiling as he stood up on his own and began to toddle unsteadily around. "As soon as I laid eyes upon him I knew I wanted to take care of him. No one heard from any of the inhabitants from the village, and someone needed to raise him."

"Odd," Silk commented as she began munching on a nearby chocolate bar that had been left on a table. "I'm surprised no one else tried to adopt him, even if he is a boy. I know more than a handful of families that have been lamenting about losing so many of the younger generation to the big cities, and it isn't like the council to agree to give a child to a single parent to raise, especially an outsider. Where did you say this empty village was?"

"I...I don't remember," Kasumi said nervously, then pulled out a letter and handed it to Silk. "By the way, Cologne asked me to give this to you. She said you have to read it alone. She also said you'll know what to do after reading it."

Silk accepted the letter, curious as to what the elder was up to.

"Little guy doesn't look that old," Nabiki mentioned as Akira darted past her legs, rushing around in a big circle, barely keeping his balance. "I'd say he's right around eleven months old, right?"

Kasumi shook her head. "The Elders estimated him to be about a year and a half."

"Really?" Nabiki said suspiciously as she eyed the child more closely. "He doesn't look that old to me."

"I think he looks that old," Akane said as she picked up her new nephew and made funny faces at him. He smiled in return. "Why are you acting so weird?"

Akane moved closer and held Akira out towards Nabiki, offering him to her. She ignored the gesture. "It's just that things are a little odd, wouldn't you agree, Kasumi?"

Kasumi shook her head. "I think it's the most natural thing in the world."

Nabiki shrugged at that. "I guess so." The stare she sent towards Kasumi promised that things were not over between them yet.

Soun was still flummoxed by the whole situation. His daughter, who wasn't married, now had a child, that wasn't really hers, but everyone would think it was. "Are you sure this is such a good idea, Kasumi? You're going to have a child and haven't been married. It'll be next to impossible to find a good man to marry, or even a job."

"Father, he's my son, at least as far as I'm concerned." Kasumi said with more than a hint of force in her voice. "Nothing is too difficult to live with if it's for his sake."

"But everyone will think the wrong thing. If you have a child without being marr-" Soun stopped talking as he found Akane offering Akira to him. He gently accepted the child, holding him as he had all of his daughters so many years ago. Akira looked into his eyes, and the effect was instantaneous.

"I have a grandson! I'm the happiest man alive!" He barely managed to reign in his tears, leaving them to simply fall down his face rather than spray all over the place, for Akira's sake.

Akira attempted to see if Soun's mustache was detachable by trying to pry it off his face. Kasumi started to reproach him, but Soun waved it off. He had been used to it; all of the girls had done the same thing when they were his grandson's age. And when his newest daughter was born, he would have to get used to it again.

What a happy day it was. As much as he loved his wonderful family, and its new additions, the fact was he currently had five unmarried daughters and a sixth on the way. Now, miraculously, Kasumi had provided him with a male heir to the family name. He had feared he would die before seeing another Tendo with a Y-chromosome. "Can you say, Grandfather?" Soun asked him.

Akira let go of Soun's mustache and smiled. He waved his hands in the air a few times before looking at Soun again, and shouted. "Baka!"

Natsume looked stunned as Akira again repeated the word again quite happily. He continued saying the same word over and over, drowning out Kasumi's protests.

Realizing she wasn't having any luck in quieting him down, Kasumi began to explain. "He heard someone say that on the plane trip here and won't say anything else. It seems he always repeats the bad words he hears, even if they're only said around him once, or in Chinese. Those are about the only kind of words he'll say. I do hope he'll break out of the habit."

Soun just laughed. It was so wonderful having a grandchild at last. Now the family line would be ensured for another generation, even if there would be problems in the future. With his open approval, all of the other family members crowded around, trying to get a better look at the child or hold him themselves. The whole thing surprised Akira into silence. The little one wasn't sure if he should be happy or scared at all of the new smiling faces. Only Nabiki maintained her distance, watching both Kasumi and Akira with a careful eye.

Kurumi found it difficult to get to sleep. Both she and Natsume had originally slept in Kasumi's room, but with her return, they elected to move into the room the Saotomes had previously inhabited. Kasumi tried protesting, but it was to no avail. The two blood sisters agreed that relegating their returned sister, and their nephew, to some cold floor was inexcusable. So they packed all of their things and moved into their new quarters immediately.

After that had been settled, and all of Kasumi's belongings (including Kurumi's new favorite animal, the cool pterodactyl, Birdy) were brought in the house, everyone gathered around Kasumi and her little bundle of joy. All of the girls, save Silk and Nabiki, practically fought over one another for Akira's attention. Silk chose to remain off to the side, content that she would soon have a child of her own to fuss over. Nabiki just seemed irritated by the whole thing, which surprised Kurumi, but she had more things to think about other than her sister's odd behavior. Like how to wrest her nephew from the others' attentions.

After staying up much later than usual, everyone retired to their respective rooms. Soun set up an old crib, stored from when the girls themselves were babies, and placed it into Kasumi's room. With that out of the way, everyone went to sleep.

Or at least Kurumi tried to, really she had, but sleep eluded her. She lay down on her back and stared at the ceiling for close to three hours straight. There was little doubt as to what was keeping her up. It wasn't that she was sleeping in a different room; she and Natsume had slept without the luxury of a roof over their heads most of their lives. Sleeping in their new room was easy. It was the addition to her family. Less than a year ago she had only her sister and the picture of a man who was supposed to be her father. Now, he was their father, if not in actuality, then in spirit, which was even better than Kurumi had dreamed. She adored her new sisters, her new step-mother (no matter how cranky she got) and her soon to be even newer sister. It was all so overwhelming that she would sometimes go off alone to cry at her luck. So much good fortune, in a life that had known very little of it, seemed too good to be true. Occasionally she feared it would all come crashing down around her head someday, or that she would wake up and discover it was nothing but a dream.

Now she had a nephew as well. The family seemed to grow by the month, and that was a very good thing. She was so excited over the new addition that she feared she was never going to be able to sleep again. Rather than worry about things that were out of control, she decided to make good with her unexpected time. This late at night, Silk would be asleep. That meant it would be safe to make a midnight snack without being shouted at, and assuming Silk hadn't set any traps in the kitchen.

Kurumi quietly made her way through the house and towards the kitchen. She was right outside the doorway when she heard two voices coming from inside. Instead of announcing her presence, she remained silent, then slowly got closer, listening intently to what was being said. It was strange that two people would be up so late at night, and she wondered immediately if it had something to do with Kasumi's return.

It took only moments for her to sort out who the two voices belonged to: Nabiki and Kasumi. Kurumi knew it wasn't proper to eavesdrop on what was obviously supposed to be a private conversation, but she couldn't seem to help herself as she remained where she was and listened in.

"...have any idea what you're in for." Kurumi could make out Nabiki talking. The tone of her voice, though quiet, was very intense and disapproving.

"It doesn't matter. There's nothing that could be changed, even if I wanted to, and I don't." Kurumi noted that Kasumi's voice had a mixture of sorrow and firmness.

"She should take responsibility. It's her child too." That surprised Kurumi. Nabiki knew who the real mother of the child was. Now that her curiosity was really piqued, all thoughts of not eavesdropping disappeared as she listened even more intently.

"There is no responsibility for her to take. Even if I told her, it wouldn't change a thing. Neither of us planned for this to happen."

"So what? That means you're going to leave her off the hook? Why are you protecting her?"

"From what? She made her choice, and, to be honest it's one I approve of. They're happy together. Even if I was the sort of person to try to interfere with that, I wouldn't." Kurumi heard Kasumi's voice drop a little. "They aren't married yet, and I don't want to do anything that might upset that. If I told them the truth now, there's no telling what will happen."

"Maybe she'll take responsibility for what she did."

"And do what, Nabiki? Marry me, even when she loves someone else, out of some misguided sense of trying to protect me from something I don't need to be protected from? She doesn't even want her cursed form. It's actually dangerous for her to have it. What happens to us if she gets a cure? Where would that leave us? I can't be involved in a relationship like that, even though I know it shouldn't make a difference if I truly love her, but it does. And what if she's offered a cure and refuses it because of me? How do you think that would make me feel, that she would ruin herself to trying to make me happy?" Kurumi could tell Kasumi's agitation was increasing with each sentence. Somehow that emotion just sounded horribly wrong to be coming from her returned sister.

"I don't know."

"Or maybe Ranma can marry me, and then she can be our collective mistress instead?"

"Well, it would solve a lot of unresolved things around here."

Kurumi's eyes widened at that.

"I will not marry Ranma. I'm not interested in him. I won't do it even if it would bring me closer to her. And also..." her voice became softer, almost inaudible. "I won't settle for being second place in someone's heart. I'd be miserable. I would want her to love me the most. Maybe it's greedy. Maybe I'm being insensitive, but it's what I really want."

"All right. I'll accept that. I think I'd feel the same way too. If you're sure you wouldn't be happy-"

"I'm certain."

"Right, but it's going to be unbelievably hard for you. You are going to be a single, unwed mother, and that's what everyone is going to think no matter what story you give. That means you're going to be treated like dirt and a miracle if you ever manage to marry someone. Hah. Sometimes I love our wonderful country." Kurumi recognized Nabiki's trademark acerbity at the end of that statement.

"Right now I don't feel up to any relationships. And there's no place that's perfect. I love my home."

"Get treated like a pariah for a few years and get back to me on that." Kurumi heard Nabiki hesitate a moment before continuing. "Look. If you need money or anything, you know you can always come to me."

"Actually that shouldn't be a problem. Great-grandm...I mean Elder Cologne, left me a great deal of jewels and other valuables she picked up in her youth. She was originally going to give them to Shampoo, but she felt under the circumstances it was perhaps best she gave them to me and Akira. I tried to tell her no, but she wouldn't hear of it. She said if it bothered me that much, just to think of it as a gift for Akira."

"Makes sense," Kurumi could hear the approval in her sister's voice. "And I have to agree with her. So you've been calling her 'great-grandmother'?"

"Well, she did insist on it, especially since Akira is her great-great-grandchild. And she treated me so nicely, as did Comb. It seemed sort of appropriate."

"Yeah. I guess so. How many people there knew you were...you know?"

"Oh, I didn't hide anything once I found out why I was getting sick so often. Believe me, it was quite a shock. I guess it was a good thing that I was in China at the time. I hate lying to Father and the others, but I think it's for the best." Kurumi noted Kasumi did indeed sound very ashamed of the lie. Kurumi felt sympathy for her, despite the fact she was also being lied to.

"Well, your story's going to be shot to hell once Silk talks with some of her old friends and hears what really went on. She's already suspicious, and the little busybody's like a hungry pit bull with a bone when it comes to things that arouse her curiosity."

Kurumi nodded her head in silent agreement to that. As much as she liked Silk, it was an appropriate metaphor.

"Well, the letter I gave her had instructions from gr...from Elder Cologne for her to keep silent. I hate to do that to her, but as I said, if the truth comes out now it's just going to make things more difficult for everyone in the long run."

"And you think she'll listen to it?"

"Elder Cologne seemed to think so. She said Silk won't be happy about it, but she'll respect both her and my wishes. You see, in Joketsuzoku, it's the women who have final say on how children are raised, and if I choose not to include the father, or keep silent about his parentage altogether, I may. They understood why I wanted to do it, although Comb wasn't too happy about it when I told her. She promised not to say anything to anyone, though."

"I guess that makes sense. What about Kodachi? She could always visit her family and let something slip."

"Cologne said she got Mr. Mousse and Kodachi to agree to remain silent on the matter. It's not as though he and I crossed paths very much. The few times we did he didn't seem too happy."

"Yeah, I can imagine how he felt about your little 'bundle of joy' if he figured out where it came from." Kurumi heard Nabiki sigh once more. "I can't believe you made a mistake like this."

"My son is not a mistake!" Even Kurumi was taken aback by the intensity of Kasumi's voice.

"Shh!" Nabiki warned. "Keep it down, unless you want everyone to know."

"Take it back! Take back what you said, Nabiki!"

"I do. I do," Nabiki said in her most soothing voice. "Hey, I like the little bugger, okay? I was just a little surprised. I mean, I already pretty much had everything figured out, but it was still kind of a shock for you to just come in the door with him, you know?"

Kurumi could hear the repentance in Kasumi's voice. "I guess. I'm sorry I snapped at you, but I won't have anyone calling him something like that. I love him, and wouldn't do a single thing in the world to change him."

"Yeah. It feels kind of funny, having a nephew and all. And considering who the 'father' is, well, it takes some getting used to." Kurumi heard Nabiki move around a little. "I promise not to say anything, but I think you're making a mistake. You should come clean about this and let everything happen now. If you wait, I've got this bad feeling it'll make matters worse."

"I'll tell her after she's married."

Even Kurumi didn't think that Kasumi sounded convincing, and she always tried to give people benefit of the doubt. She heard Nabiki ask. "You're going to tell them after they're married?"

"Well, maybe not right away, but at a good time after that."

"And exactly when is it a good time to tell someone that they're the father of a child that was born out of wedlock?"

"I'll just have to wait and see."

Kurumi heard Nabiki sigh. "Well, it really isn't my business how you live your life, but I don't think you have the faintest idea of what you're in for."

"Maybe. We'll see. It's late and you'd better be getting to bed."

Kurumi heard them approaching and darted towards the entryway of the house, counting on them to head immediately upstairs. She was out of sight when she heard the pair emerge from the kitchen and headed upstairs to their respective bedrooms. Once she was convinced they had laid down, she sat down and tried to make sense out of what she had overheard. Reviewing it several times in her mind still lead to the same conclusion: Shampoo was the father of Akira. What was really strange about it wasn't that Shampoo was really a girl -the whole curses situation had been fully explained to Kurumi and she thought it was really neat- but that Kasumi would do that sort of thing. From the descriptions she had received from Akane, Shampoo had pretty much been depicted as the epitome of evil, and Kasumi a near avatar of goodness. That Kasumi might have done that with a woman (cursed perhaps, and attractive in cursed form judging from the pictures Nabiki had shown her, but still a woman) stunned Kurumi. And now her sister was lying about Akira's origins.

Kurumi's involvement with Kasumi was limited, even if she was her sister, so she began to question whether or not to tell others the truth. It had never been easy for her to remain silent about anything, secret or not, and she disliked lying. Nabiki was prone to describe her as wearing her heart on her sleeve, something Kurumi had no problem with, but now she was going to have to (unofficially) take part in the cover up.

She weighed her options. Clearly she should not speak a word of it to anyone. It was Kasumi's matter, and Kurumi should not have been eavesdropping in the first place. But shouldn't the others know something as important as this? She hated keeping secrets. That was something Natsume disliked about her, and this was perhaps the most important one of all. What was she to do?

For over an hour, she sat and pondered. One way or another, a choice had to be made. She found her legs almost involuntarily moving on their own as she stood her up and headed upstairs. There was one thing she had to see before she could make her decision.

She moved cautiously and silently. That she could move so quietly would probably have been a surprise to the others, since it was speed that she usually employed. What need would someone that fast have for stealth? But now it served her well. She crept upstairs and paused before the room that, until today, had been hers. She placed an ear next to the door for several minutes and listened for the sound of any telltale movement within. Hearing nothing, she opened the door and looked into the room. Kasumi was sleeping peacefully, as she had hoped. Kurumi avoided a loose floorboard and virtually glided to the crib that Kasumi had placed next to the bed. She spared one more glance towards Kasumi before daring to poke her head over the crib and gazed upon her sleeping nephew.

He looked so peaceful, lying there with a line of drool coming from his mouth. It was odd how babies could still look cute even in the most unusual of circumstances. What would happen to poor little Akira if she told everyone the truth behind his heritage, even if remaining silent about her newfound knowledge felt wrong? Kasumi was going to have her hands full raising him alone as it was. Who was she to heap more problems on her sister's shoulders? Akira was Kurumi's nephew. What difference would it make who his father was, or how strange the situation would be? She would love him just the same, even if Kasumi never told anyone else the truth.

She bent low and kissed Akira lightly on the forehead. He really did look like an angel, lying there so quietly. She intended to leave the room, content in the knowledge that what should come next would be better left in the hands of others.

It was then Akira woke up, took one look at Kurumi, and began crying. She heard Kasumi start to move behind her. There was no time to dart out of the room; she might be seen. There was only one place near enough to get out of sight, so Kurumi dropped to the floor and darted under the bed.

From her position under the bed, Kurumi watched Kasumi's feet touch the floor and pause next to the crib. Soft speaking followed, calming Akira down. Kurumi could almost feel Kasumi rocking him gently back and forth as she hummed a beautiful little tune to him. It seemed to take forever for the little one to quiet down, but when he at last became silent and Kasumi laid back in bed, Kurumi breathed a sigh of relief. She waited another fifteen minutes before daring to poke her head out from beneath the bed. Seeing that Kasumi seemed to be resting peacefully, she dared to crawl fully out from under the bed and silently tip-toed across the room. She had made it to the door when a voice behind said,

"You don't have to sneak around like a thief in the night. You're more than welcome to look at him. I don't mind."

Kurumi could only manage to grin sheepishly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Kasumi just smiled. "You get sensitive to sounds sometimes when you have a child. When you're not too tired, anyway. I'm glad you like him so much you felt the need to look in on him at this time of night. Having to share him with everyone didn't leave anyone much time to see him for very long. Even Akane stopped by right before bed. Come on over. He shouldn't wake up for a while now." She indicated that Kurumi should draw closer.

Kurumi felt even worse now that she could have ever considered snitching on Kasumi. "I accidentally overheard your conversation with Nabiki. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I'm sorry."

Kasumi looked surprised at that. "I see. You're probably wondering why I feel the need to be so secretive. I-"

Kurumi cut her off. "It doesn't matter. I think you know what's best for you and Akira. I promise I won't say a word."

Kasumi seemed visibly relieved at that. "I appreciate that. I'm sorry to put you in this position."

Kurumi waved it off. "It's my own fault. Tell everyone when you feel comfortable with it. Like I said, I won't say a word. Umm, can I get a closer look at him? I promise not to wake him up this time."

"Of course."

Kurumi leaned over the crib once more and looked on Akira again. This time she made certain not to touch him when she looked. No sense in having to go through the hassle of getting him to sleep once more.

He appeared even more beautiful now. Come what may, Kurumi had a feeling that everything would turn out okay, no matter who told what to whom.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just one more to go. ^_^

As always, special thanks to:

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Bloodblade  
Jurai Knight  
Jason Liao  
Lord Talon  
Miashara  
Bryan Smith  
Wade Tritschler


	45. Epilogue 5: The End of the Beginning

Ranma 1/2 Presents  
Shampoo 1/2  
Epilogue 5

The End of the Beginning

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All C+C is desired. You can contact me at:  
sommer

Standard Disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters or any from other series mentioned in this story.

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:

Bloodblade has also put it on his webpage at:  
tokyo/towers/5920

Slashley also has it at:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The scent of the trees assailed Ranma's senses as the cold night air washed over his face. However, the chill did nothing to cool him down. His attention was focused on something other than the little camp he and Shampoo had set up in the 'wilds' of Hokkaido, something that required more attention than the world around him.

Ranma could feel the 'something' move down his chest, kissing every inch of the way. Shampoo paused a moment to kiss his right nipple and play across it with her tongue. It was not nearly as sensitive now as when he was girl (not that he did anything while cursed. His outfits just rubbed him awkwardly sometimes), but the effect was still pleasurable. He watched the slow movement of the lump that was her head, masked under the blanket they were wrapped in, made its way lower along his body. He was basking in the sensations of her mouth playing along his skin when he felt her hands tug at the waistband of his boxers.

"Shampoo, don't," he said softly, his heart beating so loudly it seemed to roar through his ears. That had come out much more quietly than he had wanted.

He felt the hands hesitate for only a moment before continuing their actions.

"Shampoo, stop." The words still lacked the intensity he wanted. His voice was betraying him now, even as his body did the same by reacting to Shampoo's attentions.

He felt her pause once again, longer this time, before she continued, pulling his boxers from his waist and down around his knees. Then the kissing began once again, starting slowly from his navel and threatening to go further down.

Somehow, he just could not order his body to force her away. Only his voice seemed to be working, and barely at that. "Please," was all he could manage.

This time the kissing stopped as she rushed up from underneath the sheets, her body rubbing against his the entire time, causing his own to betray him in ways even worse than before. Her head popped out from under the covers and Ranma found himself confronted by a face that conveyed a mixture of anger and pain.

"Why?" Shampoo asked, desperation in her voice.

"We can't," Ranma managed to get out.

"Yes, we can," she corrected as her hand traveled down the length of his body until it reached a part that could remind him of his capabilities.

"Shampoo," he said once again, wishing he could sound more firm than he felt. Not that he was sure if he could ever speak that 'firmly.'

"Ranma," she pleaded. "I want to make love to you so much it hurts."

"I want to, too." Oh, how he wanted to. He was long over any actual reservations he might have had about being with a woman due to his inexperience with the members of the opposite gender. Shampoo had seen to that in the year and a half they had been together since Mount Phoenix, but there were other complications that prevented him from giving in to desire.

"Then let's do it now!" She began stroking his body in an effort to reignite his interest.

"N...no. We can't until we're married," he protested with what little energy he could muster.

She removed her hand from his lower anatomy and it joined the other one in cradling his face. She kissed him, enjoying his reaction as he kissed her back. She broke it off to say, "Then let's get married."

"We can't until Mom and Pop say it's okay," he protested once more.

"Yes, we can," she insisted, silently cursing him in Chinese for his stubborn refusal to ignore the mess his parents had forced him into. "What you mean to say is you won't."

Ranma sighed. "It's important to me that they accept the marriage. They're my family. Outside of you, they're all I got. I can't just ignore them, or pretend they approve of this whole thing."

"I managed to leave my family behind." That came out closer to a growl than a statement.

"Did you want to?"

Shampoo softened at that. "No."

"Then you understand why I don't want to do that to mine. Not so long as there's a chance they're going to change their stupid minds and approve of us."

"Fine," Shampoo relented, knowing he was right. "Then let's wait on the marriage and have sex now."

Ranma shifted uncomfortably under her body. "We have to wait until we get married. I want to do it properly, you know?"

"Ahhh! Why do you have to be so old-fashioned?" She began to wonder if he had a sex drive at all, that was until she brushed up against something that told her he had plenty of sex drive, and the very powerful ability to restrain it. "It's perfectly fine for us to make love."

Ranma found his resolve weakening once more. "Didn't you tell me once you loved me even if we didn't...you know, fool around?"

"That was if you COULDN'T do something, not if you WOULDN'T do something." She growled, digging her nails into his shoulders before relaxing them, regaining control over her emotions. She was running way too 'hot' now. "If you had some physical problem, that would be different. We'd work around it. Right now all you're doing is being a prude."

Sensing that she would not let the subject drop, he decided to work the 'ole Saotome Charm' to shake her off. Besides, employing it would be fun for him too. He began nuzzling her neck and found himself rewarded by a gentle, almost purring sound, come from her as she raised her head and allowed him greater access to that area. It was working, just as he had hoped. He continued on, gently kissing her some more before saying, "Why don't we just kiss for a while? Don't worry about nothin' else."

What he had thought was a deft move in turning the conversation away from the topic proved otherwise as he heard Shampoo give a 'humph' and crawl out from under the covers, and worse, away from him.

"What?" he asked, suddenly concerned over the fact that he was holding nothing but air. The kissing maneuver had always worked before. It had taken him a while to learn how much she adored it when he initiated physical affection with her, and almost always she was little more than putty in his hands (so to speak) when he did. He did not always start things solely for the purpose of getting her to do something for him -most of the time he just felt like kissing her- but he was not above using it to gain him an advantage if the need arose. That she broke things off so abruptly like that was a complete shock.

As she emerged, he realized that somewhere along the line her nightgown (if the flimsy piece of see-through material could be considered such) had managed to come off while she was under the covers. That seemed to be happening a lot more frequently when they slept together -which had been just about every night since Mount Phoenix- and made resisting her even more difficult than before. She would have worn nothing at all if she had her way about it, but he had protested so loudly that it was simply easier for her to concede to wearing something rather than argue with him further.

"Lay back down before someone sees you." The small fire next to them to provide some light, as well as added warmth, and the area had seemed deserted, but one never knew if some wandering outdoorsman would pass by. It might have lacked privacy, but he was used to sleeping outdoors, and Shampoo did not mind it either. Besides, it saved on paying to sleep in hotels when their funds were low, which was almost all of the time.

She gave him a defiant glare, before leaning over and running her hand under the covers until she found her nightgown and brought it out. As she slowly put it back on, she was at least mildly pleased that the admiring gaze Ranma had been giving her nude form turned into disappointment as she dressed.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm not going to sleep with you tonight," she said firmly as she looked towards a nearby cluster of trees.

Now Ranma was worried. This marked the first time she was the one that insisted they not sleep together. "Aww. Come on. Don't be this way. Come on back." He gave what he thought was his warmest smile towards her.

She shook her head, irritated that he seemed to think she wasn't being serious. Her patience was finally at an end. "I'm tired of this Ranma. We love each other. We should be married by now. You want me to be patient and wait for your parents to come to their senses and finally give up that idiotic pact. Fine! But you won't even let me sleep with you."

"We sleep together all the time."

She shot him a cold glare. "Don't you dare play dumb with me. You know damn well what I mean. I'm willing to give in to you, but you won't give me what I want. I'm tired of being the one that has to wait because of some stupid promise your parents made and for you ignoring my wants. It's been a year and a half. A year and a half! I've wanted to be with you since the day you said you loved me. Do you know how hard it is to have to wonder every single night if you're finally going to come to your senses, only to have you reject me each time?"

"I ain't rejecting you," he protested. They had had disagreements before over the subject of marriage and sex, but never quite as intense as it was now.

"You don't totally accept me either, and that hurts. Instead it's me that gives in to you each time. I'm tired of it."

He felt his heart leap into his throat as she turned, grabbed an extra bedroll, then began to walk away. What was she doing? Yes, she sounded angry with the way thing were going, but that was no reason to act so rashly. Surely she wasn't planning to... leave... him. "Where are you going?!"

She turned in surprise at the sound of fear in his voice. That emotion was not one heard from Ranma Saotome very often, at least not under anything other than the worst of circumstances. It took her a moment to understand what he was afraid of. Did he truly think she was so fickle? "I'm not leaving you. I'm just going to sleep over there." She pointed to the cluster of trees she had been eyeing earlier. "I'm hurt and need a little distance, but I won't leave you. I'll never leave you. I promise." She gave him a sullen look and turned to go again.

"Tomorrow we'll start back to Nerima and I'll talk to Mom and Pop again."

Pausing, she remained where she was, keeping her face from Ranma so he couldn't see her smile. She did not want him to know how those few words could please her so much. He might not try so hard to convince them if he knew it was that easy to get her to back off. However, she would not let it pass without letting him know how she felt about it. "Thank you."

He breathed a sigh of relief. He knew from the way her body had tensed, then relaxed, that she was pleased by that. She had been right. It was long past time he tried to convince his parents again of the way things had to be. It was unfair both to him, and perhaps more importantly, to her, that they be forced to wait so long before consummating their relationship. "You can come back now." He held the covers open in invitation for her return.

There was a sore temptation to give in on her part. But she felt that no matter what he believed, the separation would hurt her worse than him. Still, she needed to make certain he understood just how strongly she felt. "Not tonight."

"Why?" he protested, wondering if he had misread her body signals.

She gave him a soft look. "Will you make love to me?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "I already told ya'. Once we get married we can do all of that."

She nodded. "And I'm going to sleep over there. Now you understand how I feel when you refuse me every night." She left, staying just within his line of sight as she unrolled the bedroll and laid down.

Ranma remained where he was, watching her turn from him, walk off, then lay down. He hated to admit it, but she was right. He hadn't understood what it was like to be denied what he wanted like that. There was no doubt in his mind that this time he was going to make his parents understand. He didn't want to have to spend another night apart from her again.

It took them nearly a week to make their way back to Nerima. Both were nearly overcome by the feeling of trepidation that marked their arrival, only the fifth time they had returned to the area in the last year and a half. On their way to Ranma's house they crossed through one of the parks to see that a festival had apparently begun. It was large, colorful display with multiple rows of booths that contained food, games, fortune tellers, and other sellers of various odds and ends who shouted out, hawking their wares.

The pair decided to make a detour through the middle of the main thoroughfare, buying some food and looking over the goods that were being offered. After having been there for about half an hour, Ranma took the time to examine Shampoo's reactions to everything out of the corner of his eye. She seemed much less apprehensive than when they had first arrived. Unquestionably, it was a good sign. He bought her an ice cream cone and waited a while longer, making sure the mood was going to last. Seeing that it would, he breathed a sigh of relief. That would make what he wanted to say easier.

"Shampoo, I think it'd be best if you stayed here and let me talk to my parents alone."

"No," Shampoo answered immediately, then took another idle lick of her cone.

"Well, thanks for considering it, at least," Ranma grumbled. Sadly, things were pretty much going the way he had anticipated. It was time to once again employ the Saotome charm. He gave her the most devastating smile he could while placing his hands on her hips, drawing her closer. "Sh-"

"No."

The smile disappeared. Fine! If she was going to refuse to be charmed, he would take the dominant approach. "Look. I'm putting my foot down. You are not going!"

Shampoo smiled at that. "I'll put my foot down, too."

Ranma shouted out in pain as she did so, right on top of his. The pain didn't matter much to him (once she stopped twisting her foot on his and removed it, anyway). He was not going to be beaten. There was still the technique his father used with his mother, but his pride would only allow begging and groveling to win her compliance as a last resort. Reasoning was the next technique to employ.

"Shampoo, things would go a lot smoother if you weren't there."

"That's silly!" Shampoo protested. "I wouldn't cause any problems. What would make you say something like that?"

"Gee, I dunno." Ranma answered dryly. "Do you recall the words, 'you stupid, aging bitch,' followed by Mom going for her katana, the last time we were there?"

"She called me a whore!"

Ranma appeared shamefaced at that. "You were baiting her the entire night, but you're right. I made sure she won't do that again." He had told his mother quite bluntly that she would never see him again if those words passed her lips again when referring to Shampoo. She apologized immediately, but the whole event had left a sour taste in Ranma's mouth for weeks. It was one of the reasons he had not visited his parents since.

"Shampoo, I just think it would be better if I saw them alone."

"Okay," she relented.

Ranma was surprised that she saw reason at last. Usually it took a lot longer for her to agree to the obvious, at least on those occasions that she did. "Thanks. I'll head out now."

"No!" she protested, then grabbed him by his arm. "Let's enjoy the festival first." She began walking along, Ranma matching her stride. "At least I can enjoy something today," she quietly added.

Ranma tried to cheer her up. "You don't know what they'll say yet."

She turned away from him to stare at a booth where paintings of cherry blossom's were being sold. She tried keeping sadness from creeping into her voice. "Nothing's changed in their eyes. Their answer's going to be the same."

Ranma began stroking her hand, trying to soothe her. "It'll be different this time. You'll see."

Her shoulders slumped in imagined defeat. "I'll believe it when I see it."

The mood was considerably more somber as the pair made their way past the various colorful booths. Ranma had remained silent, trying to come up with something to cheer Shampoo up, and failing miserably, when she perked up on her own.

"Look! Let's go in there!" Not waiting for a response, she dragged Ranma with her. Her movement was so quick that he barely had time to see that it was a small pavilion that was a few feet back from most of the other booths. It was completely made of cloth, including the entryway, which was covered by a curtain, isolating the interior from the rest of the world. He spotted a placard next to the pavilion that read: Madame Babushka: Fortunes Told.

"Maybe she can tell us how your meeting will go," she said as she dragged him towards the curtained entryway.

"Aw. I don't believe in that fortune telling garbage. It's just a waste of money. They never say nothing but vague stuff that can mean whatever you want it to."

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun."

Ranma noticed the effect that the anticipation was having on Shampoo. Maybe if it cheered her up, it wouldn't be such a waste of money. He relented and the two parted the curtain and entered.

The instant they set foot inside, a wave of incense assailed their sense of smell. Inside there was a very unremarkable wooden table, with two chairs, on the side closest to the entryway. Incense burned from four stands that lined the interior of the circular pavilion. Two smaller holders on the table also bore burning sticks of incense as well. But the main feature of the interior was the Caucasian gentleman, wearing a style of clothing that reminded Ranma of a gypsy in a grade-B vampire movie.

"Please, sit." He might have been a foreigner, but his Japanese was flawless, as he indicated they should take the two empty chairs.

The pair sat down. Ranma looked strangely at the man. "Somehow, you look a lot different from the way I pictured you, Madame Babushka."

The man gave a soft chuckle. "Madame Babushka is my wife. I'm afraid that she had to leave rather abruptly. She had a vision that she was going to become very ill and headed for the hospital. However, you have nothing to fear." He stood up and bowed with a flourish before the pair. "I am her husband, Marty the Minor Mentalist. I too can not only tell a person's future, but their past and present as well."

"You're two fortune tellers that married one another?" Shampoo asked.

"Indeed." Marty sat back down, giving a boyish grin that made him seem youthful despite his forty plus years. "Actually, it wasn't surprising. We knew as soon as we met that we were destined for a lifetime of happiness with one another. We got married the very next day. Twenty years later every day still feels like the first."

"That's so sweet," Shampoo sighed.

Ranma was torn between being impressed with their psychic abilities, or thinking it was the most stupid thing he had ever heard. Since he was going to be paying for the reading, he decided the former would probably be the best one to go with.

Marty indicated that they should hold out their hands so that he could read their destiny. Carefully he examined their hands, looking over the lines in the dim light of the pavilion, studying them intently.

"I thought you said you were a fortune teller, not a palm reader," Ranma grumbled.

"Reading palms makes seeing your destinies easier," Marty explained. "In some ways it's better, since I can read the whole thing all at once, although I can't tell exactly when things will happen, or if they already have. Now give me a few moments of silence so that I may decipher your fates."

Marty studied their hands for almost a full five minutes before speaking again. He looked to Ranma first. "I see the fate of a young girl with red hair, tied in a pig-tail, hopelessly intertwined with yours. She will be a part of your life for a very long time. Very unusual indeed."

"Yeah, yeah. I already know all about that," Ranma said, actually impressed with the man's ability while being irritated by being told information he already knew about.

"Oh," Marty said, momentarily disappointed at the response. Usually that sort of big prediction done at the beginning of the reading would impress the customers. Perhaps the girl would be more easily awed.

He turned towards Shampoo. "I see the fate of a boy with black hair, tied back in a style similar to yours-"

"-hopelessly intertwined with yours. He will be a part of your life for a very long time. Very unusual indeed," they finished for him together.

"Know that one too, eh?" Marty asked as he watched the two nod in response. It appeared he was going to have to pull out all of the stops to impress the duo. He looked upon their hands once more.

"Hmm. Both of you are destined to live in interesting times. I can't tell if it's the blessed or cursed version, though."

"Probably both," Ranma said as Shampoo nodded her head in agreement.

Marty reevaluated them as perhaps the toughest nuts he had ever had to crack, but impress them he would.

"Let's try this." He turned to Ranma, his eyes following an unusual line. "Oh my god! You're destined to become Sailor Earth!"

"What?!" Ranma shouted out in shock.

"No! Wait a minute! I misread it. You are destined to SAIL the Earth. Sorry about that. I misread your 'Lines of Destiny'."

"Oh." Ranma visibly relaxed.

Marty waited for Ranma to calm down before continuing. "You will live a long life." He turned Ranma's hand over as his eyes continued to follow one of the lines. "A very long one, yes indeed."

He turned Shampoo's hand over to examine it more closely. He felt his heart sink as he saw her full destiny lifeline before him. "I'm afraid you are destined to die at a very young age. I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Shampoo said nonchalantly.

Marty was shocked. "But I just told you you'll die young!"

"I already did that," she explained casually. "I got better."

It took Marty a while to compose himself after that. "Very interesting times indeed," he murmured. "Do you have any questions, or should we even bother?"

"Will we be married?" Shampoo asked, excitement tingling in her voice.

"Ah, an easy one." He examined their hands more closely. "I see that you are destined to be married once in your lifetime," he told Ranma, then turned to Shampoo. "And I see you will be married once too."

The two tore their hands out of his grasp and grabbed onto one another. "You hear that, Ranma? We're going to be married!"

"I told you so." He tried sounding nonchalant, but found himself becoming excited over the idea that maybe the fortune teller was correct.

"Wait a minute!" Marty warned. "I didn't say you'd be married to each other. I said both of you would be married once in your lifetimes. I can't see who you'll marry."

The two of them gave the man nearly identical lopsided grins. Ranma spoke first. "After what we've been through, believe me, there ain't no chance either one of us is getting married to anyone else." Shampoo gave a nod of agreement as well.

Marty refrained from telling them how many times he had heard words like that before, only to see them fail to come true. Still, there was nothing in their futures that indicated they would not marry one another. And one of the first rules of business, Marty learned, was that there was little point in ruining a customer's good mood with unnecessary details.

"Any other questions?" he asked.

Shampoo nodded as she held out her hand once again. "How many children will we have?" She was still bubbling in excitement over the marriage prediction.

At last he had managed to excite them, and the girl had asked another easy line to read too. He indicated that Ranma should hold out his hand as well, and began trying to find the line he wanted. He decided to tell the boy first, allowing the thrill to build up in Shampoo. "You are going to have one daughter, in your lifetime, sir."

"I am?" Ranma asked in surprise, then began grinning and turned to Shampoo. "Did ya' here that? I'm going to have a daughter." He was surprised at the delight he felt at the prediction. With the child problems Shampoo had, and the fact that they weren't even married yet, he had never really thought much about children. He had told Shampoo it didn't matter to him, which was true for now, but someday he would want them. Once he got around to settling down.

Seeing Ranma's reaction, Marty felt satisfied with himself. He looked over Shampoo's hand. "And in your lifetime you're going to have a daughter and a son."

Shampoo tore her hand out of Marty's and grabbed Ranma's once more. "Did you hear that, Ranma? I'm going to have a daughter and a son. Isn't that grea...wait a minute. That's not great."

While Shampoo tried to reprocess what was said to make sure she understood it correctly, Ranma's joy turned to suspicion. "And exactly why is it you're going to have a girl AND a boy?"

Shampoo shook her head rapidly back and forth. "I am not going to have a girl and a boy. Just a girl." Seeing that Ranma was not shifting his attitude in the least, she held out her hand for Marty to read again. He looked over it once more.

"Nope. Still says a girl and a boy."

Shampoo ripped her hand out of his grasp once more, offended.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" Ranma asked, now more suspicious than ever.

"Of course not!" Shampoo shot back.

"You've been going on and on about how much you want me, but I keep refusing you." Ranma drew nearer and pointed an accusing finger towards her. "Maybe you're getting bored with me and are going to start looking for some guy to fool around with on the side."

"I will not!" Shampoo shouted. "I love you. I would never do something like that to you!"

"Oh really? What about what the guy just said?"

"He was wrong!"

"He was right about everything else," Ranma pointed out.

"Well, he was wrong about that!" she retorted. "Look. I swear to you that from this moment on until the day I die, I will never sleep with anyone other than you."

"AH HA!" Ranma shot out from his chair and to his feet. "So you're leaving yourself an out by saying that if you die and come back again, you will sleep with someone else!"

Shampoo shot to her own feet in shock. "RANMA! That is not what I meant!"

"Yeah, right! I know how that devious Amazon mind of your works."

Marty watched on as the arguing couple walked out of the pavilion and back to the hustle and bustle of the festival. It only occurred to him after they had left that perhaps he should have asked them to pay first. Now it was too late. It probably would not have been a good idea to get between the arguing couple. His health was far more important than several hundred yen.

Ranma found himself filled with trepidation (not fear, he would insist) as he walked alone towards his home located on the outskirts of Nerima. It had taken her almost half an hour to reassure him that she was never going to fool around with someone else, let alone bear any children from them. In hindsight, he figured he probably had overreacted to the prediction. After what they had been through together, it was foolish to think she would do something like that to him. Still, he would keep his eyes open for any guys that might think they could try to hit on her and get away with it. After all, if there was no temptation for her, there wouldn't be any risk. Yes, a very good plan.

He also came to realize something he had said that had startled him. He was beginning to wonder just how much patience she had towards him and the current status of their relationship. Yes, she said she would not leave him, and he believed her, but how much longer would she hold off? Lately, she had become a lot more insistent, and deep down inside so was he. At what point would he bring himself to tell his parents that he would marry her no matter what, and if they felt they had to disown him for it, then so be it?

"Maybe sooner than everyone thinks," he said to himself.

He reflected on the journey to Nerima in an effort to distract himself from that kind of thinking. He needed his wits about him if he was to present a good argument that would sway his parents to see things the right way. The alienation Shampoo had shown him that first night had continued for the next three nights as well, making him increasingly eager to get to Nerima and obtain his parents' permission. He had not realized how much he wanted her beside him when they slept, usually with her curling herself under his arm and making herself snug. It was the same when they woke, usually her first. Even with her hair messed up from sleep, she still looked beautiful in the morning (and every now and then he told her, even though he still didn't usually go in for that romantic stuff). Without her there something just felt wrong, and he needed to correct it soon.

Not that she had cut him off completely. Last night she had decided to help 'motivate' him by sleeping with him once more, though actually there had been little rest involved. Both of them felt the need to release the pent up energies from the last few nights, and they had made out long into the morning. Strong motivation indeed.

At last he found himself at his destination. The Saotome house was an unremarkable structure half the size of the Tendo household, and he had only the dimmest memories of it from his past. The few times he had come by in an effort to talk to his parents had never been long enough for him to truly get a feel for the house. There was no emotional connection to the place. He had felt far more of a bond to the Tendo household than the one he had spent the first few years of his life in. The place that he was supposed to have grow up in, yet left so long ago that only dim echoes remained of it. Did he even have the right to call it home anymore?

He never even considered hesitating as he went up to the front door and knocked. He needed to get this over with. It was true that in the past he tended to ignore problems (of a non-fighting nature) and hoped they would work themselves out, and maybe he had done it again with the whole marriage thing, but no longer. Decisions had to be made concerning it and they had to be done now.

What felt like forever was only a minute before the door was opened by his mother. She stared at him in surprise for only a moment before giving out a cry of "Ranma!" and embracing him. He returned the warm greeting, losing himself for a moment in the affections of the woman he should have known his whole life, but instead had only a few fleeting days with, at least when not pretending to be someone else.

Nodoka at last broke off the embrace and examined her son more closely. She gave a small nod of approval as she said, "You look well."

"So do you, Mom."

"Have you gotten a cure yet?" she asked.

"No. Neither one of us has, but our traveling around hasn't been wasted. I've learned a lot of new techniques while I was on the road."

"That's nice, dear." Suddenly she realized she was greeting her son outside and ushered him inside the house. He followed, taking in the surroundings of the house once again, committing everything he could to memory. Nothing seemed to have changed in the months that had passed between visits. Hopefully, there would be at least one change soon. One in attitude.

"Where's Shampoo?" Nodoka asked at last.

"Ah, she decided not to come this time." Well, with a little encouragement, anyway.

There was a pang of remorse as he saw his mother's face brighten at that. Somehow, he had hoped against hope that she would have felt sorry for the way things had gone last time and perhaps, after thinking about it for a few months, realized that preventing the two of them from marrying was a mistake and would want to give Shampoo the good news firsthand, the pair of them becoming like a mother and daughter-in-law should.

Well, what was wrong with having dreams, even if they were a bit unrealistic?

Nodoka maintained her bright demeanor. "It'll be nice that we have time for some good mother-to-son bonding alone. I can't think of a time, since you told me the truth about your curse, that we've spent just talking to one another."

"You mean Pop ain't here?" That was just great. The driving force, and the one he really needed to convince of the futility of his actions, wasn't even there. Perhaps something could be salvaged out of the situation though. He still thought of his mother as being the easier of the two to sway, even with the difficulties she and Shampoo had with one another.

Still, he had enough sense to build up to what he needed to say. "Everything okay, Mom?"

She said yes and informed him that it had pretty much been life as usual in the area. The conversation started out fine, but Ranma had to wince when she mentioned that all of the Tendo girls, including the new ones, were still unmarried. Although he was pleased to hear Akane was doing well (another good reason Shampoo wasn't around. She would have been impossible to deal with if she had seen him react happily about that). Apparently Kasumi had adopted a little boy during her trip to China. Nodoka really seemed to emphasize what a difficult time she would have in raising a child by herself and being unmarried, and what a manly thing it would be if someone were to marry her in spite of that. She even talked about how nice it would be to be a grandmother immediately instead of having to wait for it.

He gave an inward sigh. It seemed Shampoo was right. Nothing had changed in her eyes.

Nodoka was going to continue on when she noticed something. "What are those marks on your neck, Ranma?"

Reflexively, his hand went to his neck and he turned bright red. "Oh. Haha. I still practice a lot of martial arts."

"I see," Nodoka said. "You should be more careful."

"Sure." Ranma laughed nervously again. He had managed to get out of that one without lying directly. He had just happened to mention martial arts at that moment and his mother had just happened to mistake that as the explanation. Somehow, he doubted informing her that when he and Shampoo made out, she sometimes got really worked up and liked using his neck as a chew-toy (and there was absolutely no way that he was ever going to admit that, surprisingly enough, he sort of liked it. Not that he was a masochistic weirdo.) That was not going to be the best way to put his mother in a responsive mood to what he had to say.

He figured it was time to begin before she started to ask more personal questions. "Look, there's something really important I want to discuss with you. I wanted both you and Pop to be here, but I guess it'll just have to be the two of us."

"Go ahead, Ranma."

She masked it well, but Ranma could still make out the sound of anxiousness in her voice. She knew what was he going to say before he opened his mouth. As bad as he felt about that, he forced himself to continue. "I'm sorry, but there is no way I'm ever marrying anyone but Shampoo. Ever. I don't know why the two of you can't accept that."

"Because you can't marry anyone other than a Tendo." Nodoka spoke as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm certain if you talked with Kasumi she might not mind you having Shampoo as a mistress. They do get along quite well."

"NO!" Ranma shouted. "Why won't you listen to a word I say? I am not marrying anyone other than Shampoo. I ain't marrying Kasumi. I ain't marrying Nabiki. I ain't marrying either of the two new girls, or Silk's kid when she's born either, or anyone else that's born, adopted, or time travels from the future and calls herself a Tendo."

"Ranma," Nodoka used a tone of voice that was similar to what one might use with a small child. "There is a promise to uphold and we will uphold it. Just because you and your lover have run-"

"We ain't lovers!" he snapped. "I ain't done anything with her! I want to, but I can't 'cause of this."

Nodoka was taken aback at that. "I had no idea. I suppose it's nice that you've waited, but it doesn't matter. You cannot marry her. She can't even bear children."

"I already went over this with her. We'll adopt. Probably just a girl, though. And not right away anyhow, 'cause I ain't ready to start raising any kids."

Nodoka nodded. "But even so you still can't marry her."

The pressure built within Ranma as shot to his feet, unable to keep calm as his anger raged. "Why? It doesn't have to be that way! You and Pop are the only ones that are trying to force me into this, and it won't work! All you're doing is making a bunch of people miserable, including yourself!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the only way you are ever going to see any grandchildren is if you let go of this stupid engagement thing and set me free."

Now it was Nodoka's turn to stand up. "Is that a threat, young man?!"

Ranma fought the urge to accept the chastisement. She was his mother, but she was WRONG. "It ain't a threat, it's a fact." Pain started to trickle into his voice. It was all going wrong. He really had believed she would have relented over the months and seen reason. Now it was all turning out horribly, and he didn't know what to say anymore. "You don't understand what this is doing to me and her. I can't stand the way things are going now. I've been patient, and Shampoo even moreso. It's time we got married, no matter what you say."

"Ranma. You can't do...that." Nodoka suddenly began to stagger a little.

Ranma was at her side in an instant, his anger replaced by concern in less than a second. He placed an arm around her to help keep her from falling. "Mom! What's wrong?!"

She regained her footing, but to Ranma's eyes looked very pale. "I'm all right. I've just been having dizzy spells lately. I thought I was over them."

"I thought you said you were all right!" Ranma practically shouted.

"It's nothing, dear. I just get them every now and then. It must have been from the argu-" she swooned once more.

"That's it! I'm having a doctor check you out."

For a moment, Nodoka pride swelled at her son's protectiveness. Despite feeling better, she felt that perhaps it was for the best that she assent to her son's demands of having a physician make sure she was all right, even though she knew she was. It would make Ranma feel better, and, more importantly, keep them from arguing further. She had not even been able to have a pleasant conversation with him for more than half an hour before they began arguing about marriage once again. Even if her son was proving himself intractable, she still wanted to spend at least a little time with him.

It was a couple of hours later when Ranma saw his father arrive at the hospital. Any concerns he had over his father's reaction to what had happened were erased by the look of panic on his face.

"Is your mother all right, boy?"

"Yeah. The docs just wanted to run a few tests on her to see if they could figure out what's wrong. If Mom was feeling bad, why didn't you make her come here?" Ranma accused.

"It's the first I heard of it." Genma began pacing back and forth in concern as he waited for someone to inform him of what was going on with his wife. It was only another ten minutes before Nodoka came from around the hallway and saw her family. As quickly as she could, while remaining ladylike, she approached them. Both Ranma and Genma were on her in an instant, assailing her with a number of questions.

"I'm all right," she assured them. "The doctors did a few blood tests and other things to see if they could determine what was wrong. All they've found so far was that I have a very low hemoglobin count and they want me to take some vitamin supplements to bring it back up."

Both Ranma and Genma were visibly relieved at that. She was continuing to reassure them she was all right when a doctor approached.

"Mrs. Saotome?" he asked.

"Yes?" Nodoka recognized him as one of the physicians that had run several tests on her. "What is it?"

"I have something to tell you. You'd better sit down."

All three Saotomes looked alarmed as Nodoka forced herself to sit down. She had been certain that there was nothing wrong with her. Dizzy spells were not really cause for alarm, were they? She really did feel fine, outside of that.

"Well, Ma'am, I have some interesting news for you. Best to brace yourself for the surprise, but you're pregnant."

Everyone stared at him in shock, Nodoka most of all. "How did that happen?"

The doctor stared at her for a moment, then opened her chart and looked it over. "It says you already have a son. I really don't think I need to explain the mechanics of it to you, do I?"

Nodoka shook her head, feeling faint once more. "No. Of course not. I mean, it's quite a shock, that's all. I'd better sit down."

"You already are, ma'am."

Nodoka realized she was indeed still in her chair. "Oh, yes. Pregnant, you say? There's no doubt about it?"

"Not really, ma'am," the doctor assured her. "We took the test twice and it came up positive both times. You're going to want to get a check up with your obstetrician as soon as possible, of course, but our preliminary studies show the only health problem you seem to have is a low hemoglobin count. Did they already tell you of that?"

"Yes," Nodoka said, still in surprise. Pregnant? The idea of having another child had never really occurred to her. She had her hands full with the one that was absent from her life and had focused all of her attention on him.

Off to the side, Genma wasn't certain what to do. He had never considered having another child either, putting all of his efforts into Ranma. Uncertain of what to do anymore, he just stood and waited for his wife to tell him what she wanted to do next.

There was one other who was at least as deeply concerned about the new information as Nodoka, for suddenly the gears of his mind slowly began to turn as a plan began to form. On the surface it appeared to be sound. All he needed to do was find out one other minute detail to make it work.

The doctor nearly wet himself as Ranma grabbed him by the collar and began shaking him back and forth shouting, "TELL ME IT'S GOING TO BE A BOY, DOC!"

The doctor barely managed to get out of his grasp before getting out, "We need to take a sonogram first. And we probably won't know until about the fourth month of pregnancy."

Nodoka and Genma stared at their son in shock. Nodoka spoke first. "Ranma, I had no idea you wanted a brother so badly."

"More than anything in the world." Ranma could barely reign in his hope. "Cause if it's a guy, he can damn well marry one of the Tendos and release me from this stupid promise the old man made."

Genma and Nodoka looked at one another, uncertain of exactly what to say. This time it was Genma who, while sounding surprised by everything, did seem to be considering it. "I never thought of that. Tendo does have a new girl on the way. I suppose if we have a child it could work out that way. But we'd have to have a boy to make it work. I mean, all he has are girls."

"And if not, you and Mom can keep trying until you get one. WOOHOO! I'M GETTING MARRIED, WORLD!" He jumped up and down with joy, even going so far as to grab a patient off of her gurney and dance around with her.

"Err, we haven't actually agreed to that, boy," Genma warned. "And I'm not sure we should take the chance."

Ranma stopped dancing around with the patient and scowled at his father. He placed the girl back on her gurney and walked over to confront Genma. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, having two sons married to the Tendo girls would be a lot better than just one. Sort of like doubling your chances at something good happening." Genma felt like patting himself on the back for that particularly keen observation.

"Actually, Pop, that would guarantee bad things happening." Ranma cracked his knuckles, then grabbed Genma by the collar of his gi. "Because every day is going to be a living hell for you since I will pound on you until you think having one Saotome married to one Tendo is a good idea." He put his fist in Genma's face as a teaser of things to come.

"Hmm. Good point," Genma mumbled through the fist. Having one Saotome married to one Tendo was more than enough. "I think I can see things your way, this time."

Nodoka could not help but smile. At last there was a way out of the promise and the resentment that had built up between her and Ranma would be gone at last, even if it meant having a daughter-in-law she cared little for. "Very well, Ranma. If my child's a boy, you can marry whomever you wish."

An ear-to-ear grin nearly split Ranma's face as he translated that as consent. At last, after a year and a half it had finally happened. He whooped it up as he ran down one of the halls and out of the hospital, missing his mother yelling at him that they didn't know if it was a boy yet and he shouldn't jump to conclusions, but it was far, far too late. Not just because he was out of sight, but because no amount of explaining would have changed his mind at that point. He was too close to achieving his heart's desire to have anything disrupt his plans now.

He ran through the town, dancing with joy and shouting out how he was going to be married. As he ran through the streets, he saw a familiar form and danced around with her.

"I'm going to get married!"

"That's nice," Azusa Shiratori said, delighted at the impromptu dance.

Ranma released her and snatched a ribbon out of her hair. "I'm getting married, Jean-Michael!" he shouted at it.

"His name's Rene," Azusa corrected, then panicked as Ranma ran off with Rene still in hand.

Chaos followed as Ranma ran around in a joyous delirium that made people realize how much they did not miss Kodachi Kunou. He nearly gave Mikado Senzenin a heart attack when he threatened to kiss the skater. He danced with a demon that Minami and Yohko were in the process of destroying. He beat up several Martial Arts Mimes (and there was much rejoicing by the citizenry). He even stole a bunch of various women's undergarments, then threw them on top of a wandering Ryouga, allowing him to get beaten up by the following pack of angry women who assumed the lost one was an accomplice.

It was only when he at last arrived at the festival grounds (and Azusa finally had a chance to reclaim Rene) that he calmed down and tried to locate Shampoo. It only took a few minutes before he found her next to a booth where a vendor was selling limes, cherries, and bloodberries.

By the time he arrived at her side, his face was a mask of calm. Surprise was the name of the game now, and he wanted to watch the smile erupt from her when he told her the good news. It was a considerably more sedate Ranma that approached Shampoo.

The instant she saw him she felt her anxiousness end. He didn't seem very happy, which she took to mean yet another refusal. Still, she had to hear it from him. "How did it go?"

Ranma felt the urge to build up to the moment. "Mom got sick almost as soon as I got there. I had to take her to the hospital."

Shampoo looked at him in surprise. "Is she all right?"

Ranma was pleased that she seemed so concerned, although he suspected it might have been more his sake than his mother's. "Yeah. Nothing serious." He was about to tell her the good news by proposing to her right then and there, when he realized he was missing something. Damn! He had intended to tell her immediately, but he had wanted to do it the right way. In the past, he had thought out what he would do on the day he was allowed to marry her, and had played it out in his mind a multitude of times. He was on the verge of abandoning that plan when he spotted something that would suffice, at least for an on the spot proposal.

Shampoo was surprised as Ranma grabbed her hand and led her to one of the prize machines that were so prevalent throughout the carnival. It was one of those machines with a robot claw that grabbed onto any one of a bunch of small, cheap prizes inside. Shampoo couldn't figure out Ranma's sudden attraction to the machine, but then she still did not understand a lot about him.

"Give me a fifty yen piece." He held his hand out towards Shampoo.

She looked at him, confused as to why he wanted to play the silly little game, especially since his mother had apparently just been ill enough to merit a trip to the hospital. "Ranma, is something wrong?"

"Nah." He waved dismissively towards her as he kept his eyes locked on the object of his desire. It was right on the top, and with his hand and eye coordination, he was confident he could get it on the first try. "I just want to play this game. Give me a fifty yen piece."

She shrugged and gave him the money. She watched closely as he plopped in the coin and began working the mechanical claw. Her attention was split between watching the progress of the arm and his face, which had an unbelievable amount of eagerness written all over it.

Slowly, Ranma directed the arm until it was right over the target. All it took was a pressing of the button and the claw descended. His face was pressed tightly against the glass as he saw the open piece of metal dip towards the clear plastic case the object was in and...

...miss as it seemed to sway at the last second and picked up a white furry stuffed animal instead. His anxiousness gave way to irritation as he watched the claw deposit the animal into the receiving shoot. Damn! He had been so certain the claw had been directly over it too. He didn't bother taking his eyes off the target as he held his hand out behind him. "Another fifty yen piece."

Shampoo shrugged and fished out yet another fifty yen piece, handing it to Ranma. As he deposited it, Shampoo went to the receiving bin and picked up the white doll. She pushed on it once, heard it give off a 'Pu pu,' then tossed the annoying thing into garbage can. The least Ranma could have done was gotten some kind of neat little trinket she would have liked.

She heard him began a soft chant of, "Easy. Easy. More to the left. Now more to the right. Heh. That's it. Dumb machine. Thought you could beat me. Ha! Well I showed yo...AHH! It grabbed the wrong one again!"

She heard something else deposit into the receiving bin as Ranma continued keeping his gaze fixated on the machine. "Another fifty yen."

"Why don't you let me try?" Shampoo offered "Just tell me which one you want and I'll get it."

"No way!" he snapped. "The dumb machine won't beat me a third time. It was just lucky. Now gimme another fifty yen."

She sighed, knowing better than to try to argue with him when he entered one of his 'I won't lose to [Insert Name of Whoever/Whatever He Wants to Beat]' phases. And to think, her Great Grandmother used to accuse her of being competitive. She just hoped they had enough money to get what he wanted. Knowing Ranma, he would shake down passerbys for coins if they ran out and he still hadn't won.

She handed him another, then fished out a fourth coin since she had a gut feeling about how the next attempt was going to turn out.

"Got it this time. Just a little to the left. Perfect! Now I...AHHHH! It did it again! It swung to the right at the last second and grabbed the wrong thing again! Cheatin' machine! Gimme another!"

She let him kick the machine once before handing him the fourth coin then grabbed the two objects out of the receiving bin again. Ranma had managed to win a key chain and corkscrew. How delightfully useless. She tossed them aside and handed Ranma his next coin while checking on their current funds. They had next to nothing. It appeared it was time to either begin pit fighting again or have Ranma hunt down pikachus. The latter could certainly be lucrative when they located an area that had an infestation of the verminous little creatures. Ranma was an ideal exterminator since he was immune to the diminutive pests electrical bursts.

Yet another 'Agh!' caught her attention as she handed Ranma another coin. While he was failing to get whatever he wanted once again, she exchanged the last of their paper money for fifty yen pieces and returned to Ranma's side just in time to hand him another coin.

Each time he'd win but not get the object he was trying for. Shampoo continued clearing out the winnings from the receiving bin. Ranma won: a magnet, a brick, a Slinky (that kept Shampoo amused for several minutes until she accidentally broke it), a Moon Crystal, a can of whoop-ass, a lifetime membership to the Nerima Hair Club for Men, an ancient-looking lamp that had the words 'rub me and receive three wishes' written on the side (Right, like she was going to fall for that one. She threw it down a drainpipe before someone was stupid enough to actually rub the damned thing) and a host of other useless trinkets.

The pile in the machine grew smaller with each progressive attempt, yet still the motionless object somehow eluded Ranma's attempts to grab it with the mechanical claw. Shampoo felt the number of coins dwindle in direct concert with the number of items remaining in the machine until it was down to one last object and one last coin.

A part of her felt like scolding him for wasting their money like that, but the admonishment would fall on deaf ears, and she'd just get angrier with him for disregarding what she said. She'd find a way to let him know her displeasure later, when he was not obsessed with winning.

"This is the last one." She held on to the final coin for a moment, making Ranma actually exert a little force before he was able to tear it out of her grasp. Much to her disappointment, he didn't even seem to hear her. Oh yes. She'd find some way to let him know he had erred this time.

She watched the sweat pour down his face as he gingerly put in the coin and carefully manipulated the claw. Slowly, the metal arm made its way to the center of the now almost completely bare machine, pausing above the final object. It reached down, and effortlessly picked up the final object, retracted, then dropped it into the receiving bin.

For the first time since he began the quest to beat the machine, he turned to look at Shampoo and gave her a wide grin. "Heh. That was easy enough."

Shampoo facefaulted. In the time it took her to regain her feet and pull out a bonbori, Ranma had recovered the object and took the item out of the clear case it was in. A small wave of panic threatened to overtake Ranma, but he fought it down. This was the long awaited moment of truth. Taking a brief moment to actually think about what he was going to say before he said it.

He cleared his throat. "Shampoo, there's something I wanna ask you." He watched her pause a moment from raising her bonbori high overhead. "I do...oops. Almost forgot." He dropped to one knee and held out the prize he had tried so hard to win: a gold-colored metal ring. "I...uh...that is would you...ah...I guess would you marry me?" Yes. That was it.

A bonbori dropped from nerveless fingers. Shampoo had pictured the moment nine thousand, seven hundred and sixty three times in her mind, and now that it was actually happening, she forgot what her reaction was supposed to be.

Ranma stood up and waved a hand in front of her face. "Shampoo?"

"Yes?" she answered, then remembered that was what the response was supposed to be. "Yes. Yes! Yesyesyesyesyes! I want to marry you, Ranma!" She held out her hand and allowed him to put the ring on her finger. When that was done, she glomped him and swore she wouldn't let go until she was exhausted. Thus it was an odd pair that made their way through the rest of the festival. Neither was aware of the odd stares they received from the people they passed; they had thoughts only for each other.

At least, that was, until a loud shout was heard proclaiming, "What do ya' mean we ain't got any money?!... I did not spend it all! I didn't play the game that many times!... Well, we got to eat. Maybe we can sell the ring for some money. HEY! Put that sword down! I'm not trying to back out of proposing! It was just an idea I had so we wouldn't go hungry! Geez! You Amazons sure are moody..."

Even as the conversation drifted off, no one risked going within fifty yards of the duo. It was quite a sight to behold as the girl somehow managed a one-armed glomp around the boy while keeping her sword drawn and at the ready with her free hand. Around Nerima, curiosity could kill more than a cat if one wasn't careful. Best to leave the odd people alone in their strange behaviors.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You're lost. Admit it!"

"I am not lost. Besides, does anyone with the name of 'Hibiki' in their family tree have the right to accuse another of not knowing where they are?"

Aki Yoshida took a swing at D'Amour, which he evaded with a quick, short leap. "Watch it! You'll mess up my tux." He examined himself once more to be assured that not a stitch was out of place nor a wrinkle in the suit. No. It was perfect, almost as perfect as him.

"I don't know why I invited you along," Aki grumbled.

"Because you find my company irresistible?" D'Amour offered.

"Try again."

"Because you wanted to impress everyone by making them think I'm your date?"

"Nope."

"Because I was the only one around that could possibly locate where the wedding is being held in time for you to attend?"

"Bingo."

He knew she was lying. She secretly pined for him and believed that by asking him out it would draw the two of them closer together. Fat chance of that. Being snapped in half like a dry twig was too high a price to pay for sleeping with any woman. He was going along solely because weddings were a great place to pick up babes. The unattached women always felt their biological clocks ticking when they saw one of their own married off to some guy, and were more inclined to be looking for a prospective mate during the first few hours after attending a wedding. The perfect hunting ground.

"Wipe that lascivious smirk off your face!" Aki at last connected with a blow to the back of D'Amour's head, snapping him out of his fantasy.

He shook his head back and forth to clear it. "You didn't have to hit so hard," he whined.

"I didn't hit you hard. Your head's still attached to your shoulders."

"Good point," he grumbled, annoyed that his slight of not going out with her triggered such animosity.

Aki began to worry about making it on time. It appeared the others' predictions were a little off when they had made their bets about Ranma and Shampoo only ending up engaged after two years. It was now less than one month over two years and the duo were going to be married. What was worse was that Aki had only received the invitation today when the ship pulled into a nearby port. Realizing she would never find the wedding on her own in time, she resorted to asking the one man who was present when she first received the invitation. The only one who would be able to find the wedding without delay.

"I think we're near," D'Amour said.

It was at that time a tiny oni, that looked more like a goofy little bumblebee than a horrible demon, flew up from behind the duo. It looked over each one. The girl would have been satisfactory under normal circumstances, but the man next to her was the real prize. He was little more a hormone on two legs, veritably oozing feelings of lust and deception. It gave out a tiny, delighted war cry and plunged directly into D'Amour's head, disappearing from sight. The instant it was inside, the tiny oni became overwhelmed by the raw emotions pouring from the man. It would reach its supreme power in less than a day by feeding off of him.

[What are you doing in here?]

The oni froze in horror. Something within the human's mind was...talking to him? That wasn't possible. Only the victim's mind should have been capable of direct communication within. Even in cases of those with multiple personality disorders, the voice was still from the same mind. And to make matters worse, the other voice was preventing him from drawing power from the victim.

[Oh, an oni. Heh. Go right ahead and take what you like, although I suspect you've bitten off more than even you can chew.]

The oni felt the invisible barrier that had prevented him from feeding disappear. For the briefest of moments he considered leaving the potentially hazardous situation. Almost immediately that thought was dispelled from his mind; there was too much to gain in remaining. The little oni began to feed.

Aki watched in confusion as the little oni dive bombed directly into the captain's head, confirming her belief that there was nothing inside. Carefully, she watched as two tiny horns sprouted from the captain's head. So, he was possessed. Given the captain's usual personality, a demon could only be an improvement.

"I suddenly feel less horny than usual," D'Amour commented.

Abruptly, the oni burst forth from the captain's head, four times its original size and glowing blue. It hovered directly over him as it shouted out, "Too much lechery... even for me... can't contain i-" the rest was lost as the oni detonated directly over the captain.

"Well," Aki commented as she stared at D'Amour's form, covered in miscellaneious, unidentifiable bits of oni. "It appears you're not so hot looking anymore."

Aki was correct, D'Amour noted. He was indeed a mess, covered in the oni's blood and body parts. That look might attract succubi, but since it was unlikely any were going to be at the wedding, steps would have to be taken.

He ran his hand through his hair, over his face, and then over his suit once, somehow making himself appear even more immaculate than before the oni exploded over him. Where once had been a man who had been covered in splattered oni parts only moments before, now stood a handsome rogue in a tuxedo again. D'Amour smiled, his teeth giving off a near blinding gleam.

"You truly scare the hell out of me sometimes," Aki said as she backed off a little ways from the captain. At least the oni's presence meant that Ranma and Shampoo were probably nearby. They led lives that were as plagued with annoying events as TWPOS and her lovely crew. An oni was just the thing that would show up to annoy the duo.

D'Amour made one last examination of himself. Assured that he was as dashing as ever, he began walking in the direction of a nearby church.

Aki took note of how eager he seemed to be as he began hurrying towards it. There was only one thing that could drive the man so. "Let me guess. You're heading for the strongest concentration of women."

"You've got that right." Rather than enter the temple itself, he veered to a building next to it. From all outside appearances, it was a plain-looking, large hall of some kind. As he entered through the open doors, he gave a broad smile. There were all manner of people in fine clothing, milling about, talking to one another. There was only one thing D'Amour truly noted, though.

"Babes. Lots and lots of babes. Watch out ladies. The Captain of Love is about to teach you the true path to sexual blisUNH!"

The rest of D'Amour speech was cut off as Aki laid him out with a nearby tree trunk. From out of her blouse came a length of steel cable, which she used to tie the captain up. "Well, you've served your purpose. Now it's time to give Ranma and Shampoo an early wedding gift by leaving you behind." She finished tying him up and hid the body behind some bushes next to the temple and out of sight. Maybe she would get around to untying him when everything was over. On the other hand, maybe leaving him there forever would be a better idea. The crew would certainly thank her for it.

"It was nice meeting you," Kasumi said as the rather polite couple walked off to meet others in the pre-wedding area of the reception hall that was located next to the church. She watched as they mingled with some others, then turned to the small child that was still hiding behind her right leg. "Akira. There was no reason to be so quiet to those nice people. You should be more friendly."

Akira looked up to Kasumi and said, "Strangers, Momma."

It took Kasumi only a moment to decipher the meaning. "Yes, they were strangers, and ordinarily you are not supposed to talk to them. But when you're with me it's all right."

Akira looked at her in confusion as he tried sorting out the seemingly conflicting orders of 'don't talk to strangers/talk to strangers' he had just been given. As his child's mind continued to work, he saw two people that were most definitely not strangers.

"Unca Shanpoo! Annie Ranma!" he shouted out excitedly in their approaching direction.

"No, Akira. That's Auntie Shampoo and Uncle Ranma," Kasumi corrected, emphasizing the 'auntie' and 'uncle' parts of the names.

Akira stared in confusion at his mother again, then pointed at the couple once more and said, "Unca Shanpoo. Annie Ranma, Momma," as though that were all the explanation that was needed.

"I said that's Auntie Shampoo and Uncle Ranma," Kasumi corrected once again. It figured that the first time Akira met the duo they were in their cursed forms, and that Ranma-chan would jokingly refer to herself as 'Auntie Ranma' and Shampoo-kun as 'Uncle Shampoo'. All it took was that one time and Akira had hopelessly fixated on calling them that, no matter how many times he was corrected.

Akira stuck his lip out defiantly. "Unca Shanpoo! Annie Ranma! Unca Shanpoo! Annie Ranma! Unca Shanpo-"

A laugh interrupted Akira's insistent tirade about the names of his godparents. "It's okay, Kasumi. He can call me 'Annie Ranma' whenever he wants." Ranma squatted down, unconcerned about rumpling his tuxedo, and held his arms open.

Ranma watched with an amused grin as Akira began running forward on his little legs. He laughed at the child and waited to pick him up as he rushed towards him...

...and passed by on the right side, leaving Ranma to continue smiling at nothing but air, his arms still pointed outward expectantly.

"Unca Shanpoo. Hug!" Akira looked up to Shampoo, holding his own arms expectedly. He was not disappointed as Shampoo picked him up and gave him a great, big hug.

Ranma finally got up and scowled at the embracing duo. They did make quite a pair, Akira in his little suit and Shampoo in a red and brown, Chinese-style dress that had a high slit along the leg and a gold border around the legs and arms. Hardly the traditional Japanese style wedding his mother had wanted, but Shampoo unilaterally refused to wear a kimono, claiming it was ridiculously uncomfortable and confining. When Ranma tried pressing the point, Shampoo mentioned that if Nodoka was so enthusiastic about seeing someone married in a kimono, all she needed to do was splash Ranma with some cold water and she could get her wish. Ranma let the subject drop after that.

The scowl Ranma directed at the pair lasted all of four seconds before Akira shifted around in Shampoo's embrace and pointed himself in Ranma's direction. Once again he opened his arms out and said, "Annie Ranma. Hug!"

"Looks like I couldn't keep his interest after all," Shampoo said as she handed Akira to Ranma, who did as he was ordered and gave Akira a big hug.

"The two of you look very nice," Kasumi commented as she watched her son embrace Ranma.

"So do you," Shampoo replied as she admired Kasumi's elegant-looking brown and white kimono.

Ranma pretended he was going to toss Akira across the room, eliciting a giggle from the child. "The little guy's grown a lot since the last time we saw him."

"That was only a month ago, Ranma," Shampoo said.

"Well, he looks a lot bigger."

Kasumi gave a warm smile. "I think you're right, Ranma. He has grown a lot in the last month." She decided that they had talked enough about her son. Today was too momentous to talk about subjects that could be covered at any time, although she did enjoy talking about Akira. "Today's the big day. Are the two of you ready?"

Shampoo nodded enthusiastically while Ranma just shook his head. "Hard to believe it's on us so fast. Seems like only yesterday I was proposing, now look where I am. The days just flew by."

"It can't go fast enough for me." Shampoo glomped onto him in joy. "Two years was too long. After today he'll officially be mine at last."

"Have you decided what to do about the name?" As Kasumi recalled, the two were still in disagreement about who would take whose name.

"She's going to be Shampoo Saotome after today," Ranma informed her as he persuaded Shampoo to release him before she wrinkled his suit.

"I still think Ranma Pu has a better ring to it." Shampoo gave her fiancé a wicked little smile. She almost refused to take on his family name, but when it became obvious it meant a great deal to him, she relented. It really was a trivial thing, but it would serve to make everyone know that there was an official bond between them.

"If it isn't the happy couple at last."

Everyone turned to look at the speaker. Kasumi looked pleased while Ranma and Shampoo gave irritated glances. "What's she doing here?" Shampoo mumbled under her breath.

"I'm glad you could come, Nabiki," Kasumi said. Somehow, Nabiki's invitation had not arrived when Kasumi's had. Actually it hadn't arrived at all, so Kasumi took it upon herself to invite Nabiki along.

"We ain't got no money 'cause renting the hall and hiring the priest took it all up. We are officially broke," Ranma informed her, wondering why she had come at all since both he and Shampoo had agreed upon 'forgetting' to invite her. Even if they had nothing, that did not mean there was not some way she had of taking any future funds they might make.

Nabiki gave a dismissive wave of her hand. "Oh come now, Saotome. I wouldn't miss this for the world. After all of the excitement you and Shampoo have brought into our lives, if I didn't see things through this far, I'd never forgive myself."

"Ranma isn't lying. We really don't have any money," Shampoo assured her.

"Then I've come at just the right time," Nabiki said, her eyes fairly glinting in the light of the hall. Both Ranma and Shampoo sensed that they had somehow just walked into the trap, whatever it was.

"I'll do it," Ranma said to Shampoo, hoping to get whatever Nabiki was up to out of the way. He turned back to Nabiki. "What do you mean?"

Nabiki continued to smile. "I'm just concerned about the future you two have. As I understand it, neither one of you has a regular job."

"That's because we've been going around trying to find a cure for the curses," Ranma informed her. "And we've been learning a lot of new martial arts techniques too. So there ain't been much time to try to hold one down."

"Besides," Shampoo added. "We can get by on pit fighting and pickachu hunting. We always make a bit of money fighting since both of us always win and we always bet on the other's fights. That's how we got enough money to pay for all of this, but we don't have any now," Shampoo emphasized once more.

"Then allow me to help you make some."

Ranma sighed. And it was supposed to have been a happy occasion too. "Go ahead and tell us what you want."

"I just want to help you, Ranma." She almost cooed as she drew closer to the duo. "Consider this my wedding present to you. I didn't get a chance to actually buy you something, since my invitation didn't arrive, so I figured out something else." She brought out an official-looking document and handed it to Ranma.

The first thing Ranma noticed were the two dotted lines on the bottom. "We're not signing our souls over to you."

"As if those would have any value anyway," Nabiki shot back, still smiling the entire time. "This is a contract. Specifically, a modeling contract." She took the paper out of his hands and began her speech. "I've been thinking. That swimsuit calendar we did a few years ago was a great success."

"For you," Shampoo pointed out.

"That goes without saying," Nabiki replied. "But it could work out for your benefit too. We could make a deal where the two of you can become official models and makes tons of money. You'll have to do it in your cursed forms though, since Shampoo is supposed to be 'dead'. Ohh. I get goosebumps just thinking about how much we can make with the two of you being marketed right."

"And what do you get out of this?" Ranma asked.

"I'll be your agent, of course. It's not like the two of you have any connections to advertisement agencies." Nabiki did not either, but if they signed the contracts, she could make some.

"And you'll be getting how much of our money?" Ranma asked.

"Only a standard agent's fee."

"Which would be...?" Shampoo continued, waiting for the other shoe to fall.

"A nominal sum."

"Which would be...?" Shampoo pressed.

"Only fifty percent."

"HALF?!" Ranma and Shampoo spluttered out as one.

"How nice. You two are reading each other's minds, and you aren't even married yet," Kasumi said sweetly.

"How do you justify getting half of what would be our money?" Ranma growled.

"It's not like you two have the resources to do it on your own. Without me you'd be lucky to make one quarter of what I could get you. Still, there's no need to answer now. It was just an idea" Nabiki folded up the document and put it back in her blouse. "This is your wedding day. Don't worry about money matters now. We can discuss this some other time." Like when they realized she was right and would cave in to her demands. They were so predictable, after all. She gave them no more than a year of holding out, at the most.

Ranma and Shampoo shrugged and let the matter rest. They were just about to ask Kasumi something when a short, brown-haired girl approached them

"Hello, Kurumi," Kasumi said as her adopted sister approached.

Shampoo and Ranma looked the girl over. All the information they had been told about the new girls came from Kasumi, and they had felt it was...colored somewhat, as things described by Kasumi tended to be. To their eyes, the short girl appeared normal (relative to the standard inhabitants of Nerima, that is), and seemed rather calm, a trait they had been looking for in as many of the guests as they could. Both of them were keeping an eye open for any possible disturbances, certain that somewhere, somehow, someone was going to try to screw things up. That was the way things always happened. So far everything had appeared clear, though.

Kasumi properly introduced her sister to Ranma and Shampoo, who, in turn, bowed before her. Shampoo quickly noticed the girl seeming to examine her far more intently than Ranma.

"Is something wrong?" Shampoo asked.

Kurumi almost jumped at that. "No. I've just heard a lot about you. You look a lot different from what I expected."

Shampoo found herself amused by that. "And what did you think I would look like?"

"I don't know. Just different. It's nice to meet you though."

"It's nice to meet you too." Shampoo agreed. Kurumi seemed nice enough. Shampoo had assumed both of the new Tendo girls might take Akane's side and despise Shampoo on general principles. It seemed at least one of them had kept an open mind.

Nabiki interjected herself into the conversation as she moved closer to Shampoo. "Now, how about letting me see the ring that Ranma got you."

Shampoo held out her hand proudly and displayed the ring for Nabiki's benefit. Nabiki grabbed it, holding the hand steady while she whipped out a jeweler's loupe and held it to her eye. She examined the ring closely. One glance and the loupe fell from her hand. "Th...that's..."

"The most beautiful ring in the world," Shampoo cooed.

"It's crap," Nabiki corrected. "It's not even cubic zirconium. How can you possibly feel satisfied with a piece of junk like this?"

"Ranma picked it out all by himself," Shampoo insisted as she shook her arm out of Nabiki's grasp and fawned over her ring once more. "I'd never trade it. Not even for all the jewels in the world."

Nabiki made a retching noise at that. "I can see it's not going to take much to please you. You know, it's girls like you that make guys think it's easy to satisfy a woman."

"I am easy to satisfy," Shampoo said.

Ranma handed Akira to Shampoo, then facefaulted. Shampoo leveled a scowl at him, that was going to be joined by a reprimand, when Nabiki spoke up.

"Hey everyone, don't you think Akira looks a lot like Shampoo?"

Kasumi and Kurumi suddenly stiffened as Ranma brought his face close to Akira. He examined the child's face closely, then compared it to Shampoo's. He looked back and forth several times between the two before standing back on his heels.

"They don't look a thing alike."

"I think he looks more like Ranma." Shampoo let Ranma hold Akira, then compared the two.

"Say, he does look a little like him," Kurumi said, mystified at the slight resemblance between man and child.

Nabiki was about to say something else when she felt a slight weight settle on her head. With a growing dread, she froze. Slowly, an object came into view from above her head.

Birdy let out a low hissing sound.

"NOOO!" Nabiki shouted as Birdy began pecking at her face.

"Isn't that sweet," Kasumi sighed. "Birdy's saying 'hello' to Nabiki. I thought he missed her. They always have such fun playing with one another."

"Actually, Birdy's trying to gouge her eyes out," Shampoo noted as Nabiki ran off, trying to dislodge the small pterodactyl.

"That's just his way of saying 'hi' to her," Ranma added dryly before noticing someone else approach. "Great. Look who's coming. How the hell did she find out about this?"

Shampoo turned to see who Ranma was talking about. It was Perfume, decked out in an attractive pink and black dress that showed off an impressive amount of cleavage. "I invited her." She was delighted that Perfume had made it in time. Delivering a message through Kasumi to Cologne to Perfume had taken some time, and Shampoo had been uncertain if it would arrive in Joketsuzoku in time.

"Why?" he asked as he handed Akira back to Kasumi.

"She's my friend." As well as being one of the handful of people from Shampoo's home that she could still see. She had never told Ranma, but there were still times that an aching longing for her home made its presence known. Though the times when it bothered her were becoming fewer and farther between.

Ranma was considerably less enthusiastic about Perfume's appearance. From what little contact he had had with her, he was under the impression she did not think highly of him, and even disapproved of the relationship he had with Shampoo. He certainly did not care for anyone that had claimed to be Shampoo's friend, then turned around and brought a party of Amazons with her to drag her 'friend' to her death. It was only luck that had kept Perfume's actions from bringing about Shampoo's execution at the hands of her own people. Besides, there was something about her he did not trust. A sort of arrogance that she carried that implied she thought she was better than everyone else and regarded people like him as subordinates to her. Never seeing her again would have sat perfectly fine with him.

"Who's that girl with her?" Ranma asked as he took notice of an attractive woman, with long flowing brown hair and dressed in a white kimono, that was escorting the pink-haired Amazon.

"I don't recognize her." Shampoo examined the face of Perfume's escort carefully. She did not appear to be anyone from the village, and the kimono implied that she was probably Japanese. Shampoo was still trying to place the face when she noticed something else about the pair.

"She's holding the new girl's hand," Shampoo said.

Ranma scowled at that. He knew all about Perfume's weird tastes in men. "There ain't no way that's a guy."

"I know it looks impossible, but I'm pretty sure from the smile on her face he must be a male."

"No way. Even Tsubasa doesn't look that good," Ranma insisted, receiving a surprised look from Shampoo. "I mean Tsubasa didn't look as convincing as that girl, not that he was good-looking, which he isn't."

Shampoo seemed to accept that. "Why don't we make a bet about his gender? I say he's a male."

"Okay, but we ain't got no money. What would we bet?"

Shampoo told him.

Ranma turned bright red at the nature of the 'stakes'. "I'm not sure I'd wanna do that."

"But I might get hungry tonight," Shampoo purred in his ear, wondering if she should have added a cherry topping to the bet. She liked cherry toppings.

"But I'd get all sticky-"

The rest of the complaint was cut off as Perfume headed directly towards Shampoo, beaming a wide smile to her. "Shampoo. It's been too long." Perfume detached herself from her escort's arm and grabbed Shampoo's forearms. Shampoo mirrored the action.

"You look well," Shampoo said.

Perfume shrugged. "I had some problems a while back, but I feel a lot better now." Perfume was as giddy as a school girl as she released her hold on Shampoo and once again looped her arm around her escort's. "A lot of it is thanks to him. Meet my new boyfriend. I rescued him from his evil stepsisters and stepmother a few days ago. His name's Konatsu Kenzan."

Konatsu bowed before Shampoo and Ranma. "It's a pleasure to meet Perfume-sama's best friend and her future husband."

Ranma shook his head in disbelief. He WAS a guy? Perfume sure had a knack for finding the perverts. And worse, it meant he had just lost the bet. Where in the hell was he going to find that much whipped cream by tonight? "It's a pleasure, I guess."

Shampoo gave Ranma a hungry look and licked her lips before saying something similar in greetings to Perfume's boyfriend. Konatsu really did a good job of looking like an attractive teenage girl. If she hadn't known Perfume, she would never have guessed.

"Isn't he dreamy?" Perfume gushed. "I know it's your wedding day and all, but I just had to show him off to you."

"Gee, thanks," Ranma said in a tone sarcastic enough to do Nabiki proud.

Perfume gave Ranma a tight smile. "He looks better in a dress than you ever could, even as a girl."

Ranma began to bluster at that before receiving a warning glance from Shampoo. He had promised not to start any fights, but Perfume had to be just so damn irritating it was nearly impossible to not pick one. He satisfied himself with saying, "I don't wear dresses, so I couldn't really say."

"Perfume-sama, please." Konatsu blushed at the flattery he was receiving. "I'm certain Mr. Saotome would look wonderful in a dress."

"Yeah, I would," Ranma defended.

"I think Ranma would look good in a dress too," Shampoo said, suddenly feeling the urge to defend her fiancee.

"Umm, could we change the subject off of cross-dressing?" Kurumi asked as she took Akira from Shampoo and held him. Kurumi had never been comfortable talking about the subject. She had heard enough talk about it from the loud 'discussions' Natsume had with Ukyou about them. Curious how those two had taken an instinctive dislike to one another, but then social dynamics around Nerima never were easy to comprehend.

"Yes, it is supposed to be a day of joy." Perfume was suddenly all smiles once again. "Shampoo and I are both lucky to have such wonderful men."

Tensions relaxed as Perfume began idle talk about the wedding. "Has he finally officially challenged you for your hand yet?" she asked Shampoo.

"Last week," Shampoo said happily, remembering how Ranma, with the help of cue cards, made an elaborate 'official' pronouncement to challenge Shampoo in a duel with the intent to prove his worth, as an outsider, to his would-be warrior bride. "It took him half an hour, but he defeated me at last."

"Dumb Amazon marriage traditions," Ranma mumbled under his breath. Why he had to prove his worth to her, when she already knew what a great (and better) fighter he was, irritated him to no end. But she had insisted on it since she still considered herself an Amazon warrior and, as tradition begged, she should marry a powerful male that could prove his worth. At least his arm had healed up all right. It appeared Shampoo was correct. Getting the fight out of the way a week before the wedding left them both in much better shape for the honeymoon after. Not that she had not tried something since she then considered herself officially married. Fending off her renewed advances was no easy task. At least after today, that would no longer concern him.

"There are a lot of people here," Perfume noted. There seemed to be close to a hundred people in the dining hall

"We don't even know half of them," Shampoo informed her.

"At least," Ranma seconded. "Some of them are friends, but a lot of them are my family that I never even met."

"You can recognize the ones on Pop's side from the way they're grazing at the snack table." Shampoo pointed out a small horde of people that were stuffing their mouths with everything they could get their hands on. "Good thing we have the main courses hidden or there wouldn't be anything left for the reception."

"It looks like everything is set up really well." Perfume commented. "Who organized this?"

Taking that as a cue, a man, wearing a half mask and a long, billowing black cape, slid down from a wire in the ceiling and landed next to Perfume, scaring the life out of her.

"It was I, The Director!" Loud music blared from hidden speakers somewhere nearby as he bowed gracefully before the startled Amazon.

Shampoo and Ranma had made certain they were a good distance from Perfume after she had first, foolishly uttered her words. Ranma began to explain. "That's our old high school director. Somehow he heard we were getting married-"

"-And naturally I volunteered to choreograph the entire thing," The Director finished as he moved behind Ranma and Shampoo, placing an arm around each of their shoulders. "I must tell you, I am still in awe of the special effects you're using. Why, if I didn't know better, I would swear that Ranma is really a girl and Shampoo is really a boy."

Ranma and Shampoo laughed nervously at the little statement as both tried to escape the Director's grip, and failed.

"Are you two certain you know the lines for the wedding?" he asked.

The couple nodded their heads vigorously.

"Are you certain you don't need a quick refresher?" He held out two identical shock bracelets.

"We're sure!" the pair said as one.

The Director nodded in approval. "Very well. I shall make certain my incompetent production staff have not screwed everything up. Earlier I caught them trying to set up a sacrificial altar to the demon Balthazar instead of preparing the temple the way it should be." Just as he was about to leave, he paused for one last moment. "I have a new film deal that's in the final stages. Soon I shall single-handedly revitalize the film industry from the cesspool it's been mired in. I wanted to know if the two best actors I have ever had the privilege of directing would participate in it."

Ranma and Shampoo looked nervously at one another. "I guess we might consider it."

The Director jumped for joy as he headed to the church once again.

Ranma considered the offer. "Let's see. We've got Nabiki trying to get us to model for her, and now we got an insane director trying to get us to act."

"I think we should stick to pit fighting," said Shampoo. "I'd rather deal with criminals and cutthroats than Nabiki. And I still don't think I've met anyone as insane as that director."

"Hello, Son-in-law. Granddaughter."

Shampoo found her great-grandmother suddenly standing before her. For the first time in nearly two years she saw the smaller woman once again and felt her heart seize up. Where before there would have been a spry, if diminutive, old woman who displayed the energy of a mistress of the martial arts, there now stood a sallow, gaunt-looking, elderly woman that lacked anything resembling the vibrancy she once possessed.

"Great-Grandmother, what happened to you?!"

The elder smiled at her, but even that toothy grin seemed to have lost its luster. "Nothing you need concern yourself with, child. I've just been ill for a little while, but I've been feeling much better of late."

"You don't look well," Shampoo protested, only to have Cologne smack her on the head with her staff.

"Don't argue with your great-grandmother. Now that we've determined I'm perfectly fine, why don't we discuss other things. Either of you having second thoughts?"

"Nah!" Ranma assured her. "We've been waiting nearly two years for this. I just can't wait to get it over with. I keep looking over my shoulder thinking something is going to screw it up. Something always screws things up." Shampoo nodded her head, mirroring the sentiment.

"So this is what my future son-in-law looks like."

Ranma turned to see the female speaker that was directly behind him, somehow managing to avoid his sensing her presence. His turn brought him to look directly into her chest instead of a face. It was a rather generously endowed one, that was covered by a red and black Chinese-style ensemble. Realizing what he was staring at, he quickly recovered and looked up into the face of the tall woman that towered head and shoulders above him, just barely registering a plain-looking man standing several steps behind her.

The woman herself was very striking. Long locks of dark purple hair cascaded freely down her back, flowing in one majestic wave. She held a confident, if haughty, look about her. Her stance held power in it, even though she was at rest. But of all the notable features about her, it was the face that caught the majority of his attention. Certainly she was very attractive, but that was not what had commanded his attention. It was that the face looked so very similar to Shampoo's.

Shampoo spoke from behind him. "Ranma, meet me my mother, Comb."

Ranma was so surprised by the presence of the woman that he failed to pick up the uneasiness in Shampoo's voice. The face may have appeared very similar to Shampoo's, but the anger that it bore was something he had seen only a handful of times on the woman he had spent the last two years of his life traveling with. And though at times Shampoo might have looked at him in anger, it had never been with quite the intensity he was now being subjected to. That was unusual, not that someone was directing anger at him, that was something he was used to happening in a full one-third of the people he met. No, what was curious was that he was confident he had never met her before, and therefore she shouldn't be angry with him for anything.

Actually, now that he really thought about it, a lot of people he hadn't met before did tend to hate him for one reason or another. Maybe it wasn't so unusual after all.

"Uh," Ranma was unsure of what to say. Shampoo had not mentioned her mother was coming and hadn't told him what to expect. "Pleased to meet you."

Comb's eyes seemed to bore holes through him as she continued staring. Ranma could have sworn she appeared even angrier than before. Usually it took at least a full five minutes of his being in someone's presence before that happened.

Comb shifted her gaze from Ranma to her daughter. "This is the male that you have chosen to marry?"

The tone of disapproval was enough to make even Ranma shiver. "Yes. I'm Ranma Saotome."

The evil glare returned at twice the intensity. "I do not recall either myself or my daughter giving you permission to speak."

Ranma looked at her in shock, then annoyance. "I don't need no one's permission-"

Shampoo cut him off by inserting herself between the two. "Ranma, let me deal with this."

"But..." He stopped on his own that time as he stared into Shampoo's pleading eyes. Somehow he couldn't bear to refuse her. This time. He backed off and allowed her to take over.

Shampoo turned from Ranma to confront Comb with a far less pleading look. "Mother. Don't be rude to my husband."

Comb's anger switched to the identical pleading look that Ranma had just seen on Shampoo. "You can't marry this boy! He's all wrong for you! I can tell just by looking at his beady, little eyes that he's an egotistical, outsider male that will abandon you the instant he grows bored with you!"

"He will not abandon me and his eyes aren't beady!" Shampoo protested.

"Hey! What about 'egotistical'?" Ranma said.

Comb continued her diatribe. "He's a liar that will use flowery words to turn your head, at least until he finds someone else that catches his interest, and then you'll be forgotten!"

"He's not that way!"

"What about egotistical?!" Ranma poked Shampoo in the back, trying to gain her attention.

Both Shampoo and Comb ignored him as the older Amazon continued. "You don't know males like I do! You're still young and inexperienced in their ways. This outsider boy is all wrong for you. You need someone that will be obedient. A perfect husband. Someone like Mousse."

"That's one of the damn reasons he wouldn't leave me alone!" Shampoo exploded in outrage at her mother. "You just had to keep encouraging him to pursue me! And for your information he never did what I said! He always did what he wanted to!"

It was at that time that the man who had stood behind Comb, Shampoo's father, finally spoke up. "Dear, if Shampoo loves him and wants to marry him, why don't we just agree? Our daughter has..." He closed his mouth and retreated a few steps as his wife shot him a withering glare.

Comb returned her attention towards her daughter. "Listen to me. Males with backbone are nothing but trouble. They are headstrong, foolish, and end up hurting you and not giving a damn. You need a proper male who will be submissive to your will. Just take your father, for example. He's obedient and we've been married for over twenty years now. We've always been happy."

"I don't want a submissive male and I don't want to marry someone like Father!" She let go of her anger for a moment as she gave a weak smile towards him. "No offense, Father."

He gave a soft smile in return and nodded his head in understanding.

Shampoo turned back to her mother, fierce once again. "I love Ranma and he loves me! We will be married with or without your permission!"

Comb spun on her heel and pointed a finger accusingly towards Cologne. "This is all your fault, Grandmother! You're the one that filled her head with these notions of males with backbone being good!"

"There's nothing wrong with a husband that's willing to stand up to you." Cologne humphed. "It's all a matter of personal taste. Your grandfather had plenty of spirit, and we loved each other very much."

"Oh yes, Mother informed me of how well you two got along," Comb said acidly. "She said the two of you fought constantly. She told me sometimes home was more like a demilitarized zone."

Cologne shrugged. "Sometimes. We were both passionate people that gave voice to our desires and opinions, but we always loved each other. Your mother knew that. And it certainly made life interesting."

"'Interesting' translates into 'trouble'. You're just lucky he didn't pick up and abandon you like most men would. And even then it was probably because you were a better martial artist than he was and would have hunted down and killed him."

"Mother," Shampoo finally interrupted again. "All men aren't like that male that abandoned you." Shampoo realized the gravity of her error and slapped her hands over her mouth, as though that would somehow take back the words that she had said.

It failed.

A dull purple aura rose from Comb as she ever so slowly turned from her grandmother to confront her daughter. Eyes that were little more than slits, focused on the one who had dared to speak those words. "This has nothing to do with him." That quiet declaration held more menace than all of the shouting she had done before.

"Of course not, Mother," Shampoo said as she backed away in fear, trying to smile and hoping someone it would calm Comb down. "I don't know what I was thinking of when I said that. How stupid of me."

"He was scum that wasn't worthy to lick my boots."

"Of course, Mother." Shampoo said still backing away.

"I was going to leave him when he said that. I realized what a worthless piece of dung he was. He wasn't so good a liar that he could have fooled me for long."

"Yes, Mother," Shampoo said, now stopping, since all backing away was doing was making Comb close the distance between the two of them by moving faster than she was backing away. Shampoo hoped if she stopped moving so would her mother. She could now see the muscles in Comb's jaw clenching and unclenching. That was a really bad sign. This bout was not going to pass quickly.

"That bitch he claimed was better than me was an ugly, weak, honorless whore that if I had thought about it, would have killed for daring to think she could somehow be one tenth more desirable than me."

"Yes, Mother," Shampoo said, hoping the storm would pass soon. She should never have opened her mouth. Now she was going to pay for it. Still, experience had taught her that as long as you didn't make any quick movements, or disagree with a word her mother said, she would eventually calm down and not reflexively lash out with the nearest weapon. Even Cologne would not try to do anything during such bouts of anger. It was far better to let Comb vent than risk her wrath in that state of mind.

Ranma was about to say something when a hand clamped over his mouth. He turned to see that it was Shampoo's father who had done the warning gesture. He released Ranma's mouth and quietly whispered, "Let's go over here and talk, son-in-law. Let your mother-in-law be for a while."

"But she's-"

"She'll be fine once she calms down. But if someone like you were to gain her attention, or even get into her line of sight right now, that would be a very bad thing. Especially for my daughter. Swallow your pride for the moment, for Shampoo's sake."

Ranma felt like growling at the suggestion, but gave in. The man understood the situation far better than he did, and if he really thought it would be better for Shampoo if she worked things out alone, he would do it.

Ranma allowed the man to lead him a small distance away, still keeping the glowing Comb in sight. Shampoo just smiled and nodded with everything her mother was saying.

Once the two stopped moving away, the older man began speaking once again. "It is an honor to meet you, Ranma Saotome."

"Yeah, same here, ahhh..."

"Just call me 'father-in-law'," the man told him. "You're probably wondering why my wife finds my daughter's marriage to you so objectionable."

"Yeah. What was that all about? I mean, she doesn't even know me." Most people that disliked him at least had some reason for it other than 'you're breathing my air.'

"It's what you represent," the man sighed. "It's not your fault. Something happened to my wife a long time ago, but she still bears the wounds of it even after all of these years."

He took a deep breath, then began. "You see, when my wife was still single, about Shampoo's age, she met an outsider male that visited the village. I only faintly remember, but apparently he was an egotistical, overbearing blowhard, though he was also insufferably handsome, charming, and a smooth talker. He was just passing through, but that was long enough for Comb to catch his eye. She was every bit as beautiful as Shampoo is now, so he dazzled her with fancy words and such, catching her attention. Grandmother says she tried to tell Comb he was little more than an ass and that she shouldn't trust him, but it was too late. She had fallen in love with him almost instantly and announced that when he left the village, she would be traveling with him. Grandmother could do nothing to prevent her from leaving. So, with her wishing them luck, Comb left with the man.

"The two became lovers and traveled a good bit of the world together. From what little my wife has told me, he always insisted he loved her and would never leave her. At least that was until two years later when he came across someone else that caught his interest. He dumped Comb instantly, breaking her heart. Rather than try to fight the new girl, or avenge her pride, she simply left them."

Ranma was surprised to hear the pain in the man's voice, despite the fact he was talking about a rival for his wife's affections.

He continued. "Comb returned to the village a changed woman. She developed a real hatred for outsider males, especially those that reminded her of her former lover, and woe to any man that talked back to her. She's mellowed out over the years, though."

Ranma stared at him in disbelief. He pointed over to the still glowing Comb. "That's mellow?"

"Well, compared to twenty years ago, yes. She used to be much worse," he answered. "Once she returned, she decided to settle down. Out of all the men in the village, she chose me as her husband. I was very flattered. Not only did she come from a prominent family and was a mighty warrior, but she was painfully beautiful as well. She was a far better wife than I ever imagined I would have."

"Why'd she pick you?" Ranma asked, curious as to what qualities calmed such a 'man hater' down.

"I was a, I believe the term you Japanese would use is, wimp."

"Say what?"

"Oh, I was a meek little thing. Still am, really. Never raised my voice to anyone. Always deferential to women, especially the warriors. My parents raised me very traditionally. I don't lie to myself about it. Comb chose me because I was the exact opposite of what that former lover of hers was. There was quite a surprise when she chose someone as weak as me as a husband, most warriors were only supposed to take men such as me as concubines, but her glare silenced her critics."

"I can imagine," Ranma said as he remembered the glare he had received from her. "That's gotta be depressing though. I mean that she doesn't even love you."

Shampoo's father gave Ranma a knowing smile. "I didn't say that. Oh, at first she was ambivalent towards me, but over the years she learned to love me, and I her, in spite of her flaws. She really is a good woman. It might take her several years to warm up to you, but as long as you treat our daughter well, she'll eventually accept you."

"Years?" Ranma said in a soft voice. That was just great. He might be able to get along with his mother-in-law in a few years. Maybe. Of course he probably should not have felt so bad. Only kami-sama himself knew when his mother and Shampoo were going to learn to get along. The two of them always gave such false smiles to one another it almost made Ranma wish they would yell instead. That at least he could deal with, but the false sincerity set his teeth on edge. At least they didn't have any plans on living near either set of in-laws. Actually, they hadn't even made any plans at all.

"Just take good care of my daughter, son-in-law, or you'll find that my wife is not the only one who can lose her temper."

The soft sound of steel in the rather meek man's voice surprised Ranma. "Hey! I love her. I know how to treat a gal right."

"That's good to hear. Shampoo really isn't very much like her mother. They grew up very differently from one another. So don't fear her suddenly demanding for you to be obedient or anything, though I sense it would do little good if she tried."

"You got that right." Ranma tried imagining Shampoo openly demanding he be compliant and could not manage it. Deviousness was her method of getting him to comply to her wants, not that he was not aware when she did it. He let her get away with her little victories sometimes; it made her feel better. Besides, it almost wasn't fair the way he had her twisted around his own finger. Now he really knew how to go about winning her over without her realizing it, he thought with pride.

Ranma at last turned his gaze over to Shampoo and Comb again. The older woman's aura had drained away and she was once again pleading with her daughter.

"Why don't you marry a nice, quiet girl instead?"

"MOTHER! I am not marrying a woman!" Shampoo threw her hands up in disgust. Her mother was becoming ridiculously desperate.

Comb was unrelenting as she tried using guilt as her tool. "That way you could have children. I really want to have more grandchildren."

"I am not...what do you mean 'more grandchildren'?" That didn't make any sense. Shampoo was an only child.

Comb began sweating appreciably. "Did I say more grandchildren? I meant to say, 'lots of grandchildren'. Lots and lots of grandchildren. Right now you can't have any with a man. But with a woman you could have many. It would mean so much to me. I want to hear the sound of little feet running all around."

Shampoo had finally had enough. "I am marrying Ranma. Now if you can't stand to watch me in the only wedding I will ever be in, you can leave. I want you to be here, but if it's too much for you, or if all you're going to do is yell at me for being foolish, then it would probably be best if you weren't here."

"You're making a mistake-"

"Mother." Shampoo's tone of voice brooked no argument.

Sensing that she had at last lost, Comb's shoulders slumped in defeat. "I would like to see your marriage, daughter."

Shampoo brightened at that. She gave a deep, formal bow, then embraced her with a hug.

Comb returned the embrace, then turned to go. She shot Cologne an evil stare before walking off to try to accept the decision her daughter had come to, her husband rushing to her side to help comfort her.

Kasumi smiled as she watched the (semi) resolution of Comb accepting Shampoo's decision to wed. It might take some time, but she was fairly certain that, given a chance, Comb would warm up to Ranma. She allowed her gaze to go over to Perfume and her new boyfriend who really did look like a girl. Even Kasumi herself felt she lacked the poise and grace that Konatsu seemed to possess. She watched Konatsu excuse himself from Perfume's side, then allowed Kurumi to hold Akira -who proceeded to untie her lengthy hair ribbon the instant he was in her arms- while Kasumi went over to Perfume.

"You seem to be much happier since I last saw you," Kasumi told her.

Perfume gave a softer smile than she had been displaying, to her. "I have adjusted to what I have to do. It's much easier now that I've accepted that. Having a cute boyfriend cheers me up too. He really seems to like me, although I think part of it is because I've been treating him nicely. I don't think he's really known much other than neglect his entire life. Well, I'll change that in a hurry. Hehehehe."

Kasumi saw the fire in Perfume's eyes. Perhaps she really was over the worst of it, though she still felt uneasy with what Perfume had talked about in those last days she had been in China.

Looking at Akira, and seeing Kurumi still happily playing with him, Kasumi drifted over to where Shampoo and Ranma were still talking. Both were looking increasingly nervous as time passed. Shampoo turned to her just as she arrived.

"Kasumi, Silk came today, didn't she?"

"Yes. Everyone came today except Akane and Natsume," Kasumi explained. It was a surprise to no one that Akane did not want to come. Natsume had remained behind to keep Akane company.

"I haven't seen her around." Shampoo looked the room over once more for any sign of the former Amazon teacher.

"Kiri was hungry, so Silk went into one of the back rooms to feed her in privacy. I think she might still be there."

Shampoo excused herself from everyone and headed in back to look for Silk. She had really wanted to talk to the older woman before the wedding. There were some things she wanted to clear up.

Ranma watched Shampoo leave. She had told him she wanted to talk to Silk alone, which would leave Ranma on his own for a little while. He decided it was probably time to give his parents one last visit before the wedding. It was as good of a time as any. Things always went smoother when Shampoo was not around.

He made his way over to where his mother was sitting with his father. She reacted immediately to his presence by getting up and embracing him.

"My son!" Nodoka continued embracing him fiercely.

"Mom," he said in a tired voice. Why did his mother have to embarrass him on today of all days? "Shouldn't you be more careful, being pregnant and all?"

Nodoka backed off and patted the now noticeable bulge in her abdomen. "Your brother's fine, Ranma." It felt so wonderful having another child again. Over the years she had forgotten the joys of motherhood, but no longer. This time around she would not make the same mistakes she had before. Genma would not be taking her son away from her for longer than a day, no matter how 'manly' he might become. She had already made it very clear, at the point of her sword. Naturally, Genma complied to the 'wisdom' of her suggestion, loudly proclaiming that the boy could be made a man at home this time around.

"Have you guys picked out a name yet?" Ranma asked, curious as to what it would be like to have a brother. Even though he and Shampoo had decided against settling down in any one area for a while, maintaining their search for a cure and additional knowledge in the martial arts, he would still be certain to swing by his parent's home and visit them frequently. It would be kind of neat to watch his brother grow up over the years. Of course, once the kid got older, and was informed that his future wife had been picked out for him before he was born, he might not appreciate his older brother quite so much.

"Narasuma. It's a good name," Nodoka said, beaming at her son in pride. "I'm so proud of you, Ranma. I'm sure Shampoo will make you happy."

"We'll make each other happy." He was aware that Nodoka still did not care much for Shampoo, but at least she was covering her dislike better, especially when Shampoo was not around. Maybe someday they would get along. Someday.

He exchanged pleasantries with them for a little while longer before moving on. They had discussed the marriage quite a bit in the last couple of months, and had said all that needed to be talked about. As he continued onward, he spotted Ukyou and Ai talking together. Ukyou's back was to him, so he made a gesture for silence to Ai, then quietly snuck up behind her.

"Boo!" he said directly in her ear, earning him a reflexive spatula blow to the head.

"Don't scare me like that," Ukyou scolded.

"No problem." Ranma made a mental note to make certain he announced his presence before approaching Ukyou again. "I see my best man showed up on time."

One more spatula blow to the head later, he corrected that to 'best woman'. "It's nice seeing you again, Ucchan." Her spatula, he could have done without, however.

Ukyou sheathed her spatula. "Same here. Thanks for inviting me. After what happened the last time you tried to get married, I thought you might try eloping this time around."

"I thought about it," Ranma admitted. "But that's too much like backing out of a fight for me. I'll get married in a nice, big, public ceremony and no one better get in my way."

Ukyou watched, amused at the nearly combative stance he took upon that declaration. "You think it'll work out this time?"

"Yep." Ranma thought the plan would probably work out just fine, having been developed by himself. But until the actual ceremony rolled around, only time would tell of that was true or not.

Ai at last moved forward to join Ukyou at her side. "It's nice to see the two of you are going to be married at last. It's been long enough."

"Ah, yeah." Ranma was still sort of at a loss of what to say to Ai. Ukyou having a girlfriend just seemed so weird -not that Ukyou's crossdressing was not weird too- that Ranma was not sure how to treat the duo. "It's nice to see you two are happy...ah, what exactly are you doing?"

"Co-habitating," Ai said. "We're perfectly happy with the way things are too, so we see no need to change anything."

"Yeah," Ukyou agreed. "I have to say, this is the best I've felt in a real long time. Maybe ever."

Ranma had to admit, since her return he did not think he had seen Ukyou look so... content with how her life was going. "How's business?"

Ai answered before Ukyou could. "It's booming again, now that we're going with cheesecake instead of beefcake, with yours truly as the stunningly attractive, and scantily-clad waitress that's bringing in the hordes of men to my beloved chef's restaurant."

"You don't need to flirt with them as much as you do." Jealousy began to creep into Ukyou's voice. She really hated the subtle little glances and gestures Ai tended to give the male customers. It was true she had no doubts that Ai was sincere when she said the teasing was only to increase business by making the men come back for more, but she still didn't like it.

"Ohh, you're jealous. It makes me feel so wanted," Ai cooed. "I'll tell you what, though. I promise to behave myself a little better, okay?"

Ukyou was pleasantly surprised by that. She had been trying to talk Ai into calming down for months, but always the cheerleader countered with the business angle which, admittedly, worked. Ukyou needed as much money as she could to make certain her finances were secure and prevent any repeats of what had happened during Ai's coma.

"Hi everybody!" a voice cried from behind Ranma.

Ranma noticed Ai make an annoyed face before turning to confront the speaker. There was something familiar about the voice, but Ranma could not quite place whose it was. Upon turning he saw the speaker was a girl, dressed in a green and brown gown of a conservative cut, that was approaching him. She had chestnut-colored hair, was about his height if not slightly taller, and was very attractive. It was not until she was right next to him that he recognized her.

"Kyoko?!" His jaw nearly hit the floor.

"That's me!" she gave a little cheerleader pose.

"You look...different." That might have been the biggest understatement Ranma had ever spoken. Now that he had gotten a look, a really good look, it was obviously her, but she had undergone massive changes in the two years since he had last seen her. Whereas before she had merely been cute, now she was well on her way to becoming (if not already) a genuine knockout. She had grown at least four inches, removing whatever baby fat that might have been on her frame before. From what he could make out of her form it was still the finely toned muscle that was on all the girls that had taken martial arts cheerleading. Her face had changed as well, her cheekbones becoming more prominent and she now seemed to be more along the lines of sultry instead of cute. Her bust was far more noticeable now, and her voice had gone from a high pitch to a far deeper and seductive tone that even Ranma had failed to recognize as belonging to her.

Kyoko blushed at the compliment. "I guess I hit a late growth spurt. It doesn't make me look too lanky, does it?"

"A little, Kyoko dear," Ai said, trying to sound sincere instead of jealous, fooling no one but Kyoko.

"Actually, I think she looks better than you," Ranma said to Ai, even as Ukyou poked Ai in her side for being so catty. "You look fine, Kyoko. Ryouga's a lucky guy."

Ranma watched Kyoko give a cutesy squeal of delight. It appeared that for all of her exterior changes, inside she was still the same. "Thanks. Things are going really well for us. Ryouga-kun just signed a huge contract with the biggest wrestling promotion in Japan. So he'll be making lots of money now. And you'll never guess what happened to me. Megumi and the others signed me up for the Miss Teen Japan Beauty Contest. I know I'm not pretty enough to win, but it's really flattering that they accepted me."

Actually, Ranma thought she just might be attractive enough to win it, not that he was stupid enough to say that out loud. All that would do was put him in a whole world of trouble with Shampoo, who would somehow discover he had said it. He also overheard Ukyou whispering to Ai not to be so jealous, and that if it was not for her scar, she was sure Ai could have entered and won the contest.

Ranma returned his attention to Kyoko as she continued her update. "Ryouga-kun and I have been getting along really well too. I've slowly been getting him used to the idea of marriage now. I bet we'll have one in the next year or so, and you're all invited. He can even say proposal now without stuttering, and we can neck without him coming close to passing out. Now all I have to do is get him prepared for the, you know, stuff that comes after the wedding. I don't want him to bleed to death or anything on our wedding night. Do you think I should have him donate some blood a few weeks beforehand, just in case he needs a transfusion?"

"It's an idea," Ai said. "And here's some free advice. Since I know you aren't going to sleep with him before the wedding, you can break him in by giving him blow-jOW!" Ai rubbed her side where Ukyou had elbowed her.

"Why don't we let Kyoko set her own pace," Ukyou suggested. "She's done a fine job of it so far and it really isn't any of our business. Besides, I don't think we need to be that crude."

Ai became angry at the third reprimand from Ukyou in as many minutes. "Oh, you mean you don't want me to talk about crude things? Like how you enjoy being spanked with your own spat-"

"AI!" Ukyou shouted her face turning red. Ai seemed satisfied that she had gotten back and left it at that, 'apologizing' for the slip.

Ranma decided it would be a good time to leave, just in case the disagreement got out of hand, and beat a hasty retreat. As he looked over the crowd, he spotted someone he had desperately wanted to see.

"Aki!" he shouted at the girl across the room, who waved in response to him. The two met halfway as they exchanged greetings.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it," Ranma said.

"I almost didn't. You guys jumped the gun there, Saotome. You were supposed to be engaged at two years, then married about six months after. You're just lucky I happened to be in a nearby port when I got your message."

"It is nice to see you," Ranma said. "Ah. I don't wanna be rude, but do you have what I asked you to get?"

Aki smiled at him. "Yeah. It didn't take much to get it back. The captain was in a good mood. You know, I could just give this as a wedding present myself."

"No way!" Ranma shook his head furiously. "I promised I'd get it back and I'm the one that'll give it to her." Calming down, he added. "It's really important to me that I do it."

"Okay." Aki handed him the gift wrapped package containing the object of Ranma's concern.

"How much did it cost?" Ranma asked as he quickly hid it in his pocket. It was a good thing Shampoo had not been around to see the exchange. She would have wanted to know what it was immediately, and he wanted to wait until after the ceremony to give it to her. It would be another nice surprise he could make her happy with. And he would at last be making good on a promise he had made to her long ago.

Aki gave him the figure. Ranma dug into his pocket to come up with the small stash of money he had been saving just for this occasion. It would cover the price Aki had paid, but barely. He paid her the money and was about to ask her something else when another person made his way to Ranma.

"I see you're marrying far better than you deserve, just like your father, Mr. Sap-to-me."

"That's Saotome, you idiot! How many times can you get that wrong?" Ranma shouted at D'Amour, constantly reminding himself he was not going to get into any fights on his wedding day. Afterwards though...

Aki's reaction was somewhat different. "How did you get out of being tied up?"

D'Amour's teeth glinted as he unleashed his smile "Lots of women I've met are into bondage. They tie me up all the time."

"It ain't 'cause they want sex. It's because they don't want you coming onto them and it's the only way to stop you," Ranma pointed out.

D'Amour ignored the comment. "Well, I'm not into that, so I learned how to slip out of bonds pretty easily." He threw Aki back the steel cable she had used to tie him up.

Aki bowed apologetically to Ranma. "I'm sorry, but he was the only one who could get me here in time. I tried to stop him. Really."

Ranma just gave off a sigh. "I'd rather have you here with him than have both of you not here."

Aki thanked him while D'Amour gave Ranma a smirk. "I don't think you should get married to Shampoo, Ranma."

Ranma began to feel his temper flare. The man was a moron, and a very irritating one at that. And if he even suggested doing something with Shampoo, promise or no, Ranma was going to beat the hell out of him. "Why?"

"Your name is a bad omen. I looked it up before coming here, and it clearly says you won't be able to satisfy Shampoo."

The anger that had been directed towards D'Amour built steadily. "Just what the heck is that supposed to mean?"

"Didn't you know? Your name translates into 'Gelded Horse'."

"IT MEANS 'WILD HORSE,' NOT 'GELDED HORSE'! NOW GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!" Ranma's promise threatened to break as he began to glow bright blue. Luckily, Aki dragged the captain away before Ranma dirtied his tuxedo with D'Amour's blood.

Shampoo had left Ranma and headed off to find Silk. Once in back, it took only a few moments to locate the older woman in one of the unused, empty rooms of the hall. She was sitting on a single folding metal chair towards one of the rear walls of the room, with Kiri in her arms. Her blouse was open, allowing her child to suckle her mother's breast. A pang of remorse shot through Shampoo as she gazed upon the scene.

Silk raised her head at the sound of the visitor. "Oh, it's you."

Shampoo could scarcely miss the sound of disappointment in the woman's voice. Knowing Silk, it had been intentional as well. Kasumi had warned her that Silk had not been pleased with Shampoo's actions concerning the Tendos. She had not realized quite how irate her former mentor was.

"You don't seem too happy to see me." Shampoo crossed the room to stand next to Silk.

"That's because I'm disappointed in you." She returned her attention to her daughter, who had paused in her feeding. After a moment, Kiri resumed and Silk looked towards Shampoo once more. "The others told me what happened."

"You mean they gave you their side of things," Shampoo snorted out in response.

Silk raised an eyebrow at that. "You mean you didn't abuse the shelter they gave you by stealing Ranma and breaking the pact between the two families?"

Shampoo became defensive at that. "I didn't intend to fall in love. It just happened. What was I to do? Pretend nothing was happening? Ignore my feelings for him? I love him and he loves me, even if it took a lot for him to realize it."

Silk was unrelenting. "Your actions caused a great deal of difficulty and misery around here."

"And if I had been the one to back off, it would have been me who suffered."

"Maybe," Silk admitted. "But life is full of that sometimes."

Shampoo held up her hands in frustration. Why did Silk have to be so difficult? Couldn't she see the obvious? "Why don't you tell me what I should have done to keep everyone from being miserable."

"I don't know if that could have been done," Silk answered. "But not acting on your impulses would have been the right thing to do."

Shampoo felt her temper begin to fray. She had not come to be lectured for something in which she had made the right choice. "It's easy to stay on the moral high ground when you're not the one making the sacrifice!"

Anger began to overwhelm Silk as well. "I have had to make choices like that! I did make the sacrifice! Sometimes loving someone means being able to let go!"

"And sometimes it means holding on, no matter what," Shampoo answered softly, but without the slightest hint of doubt.

Surprisingly, Silk was not able to respond to that. She just stared in irritation at the younger girl.

Shampoo found herself at an impasse. Silk was still firm in her beliefs, even if she could not argue the point with Shampoo. The barrier between them was still there. There was little left but to try to break the barrier again. "Didn't you ever have second thoughts about the choice you made? Didn't you ever wonder if it had been the wrong one?"

"Sometimes," Silk relented, then looked down at the child in her arms. "But it worked out in the end."

"It's worked out in the end for me too," Shampoo said. "The promise still holds, it just doesn't apply to Ranma anymore."

"Fortunately," Silk agreed, her mood lightening somewhat.

Shampoo took a moment to regain control of her temper. Everything had gone wrong. She had not come looking to get into a shouting match with Silk. It was time to stop before something was said that would not be so easily forgiven. She gazed painfully at the woman. "Please, Silk. I don't want there to be these kind of problems between us. You're one of the last links I have to home. Isn't there something I can do to satisfy your anger?"

Silk considered that. She was not one who preferred to carry grudges for overlong, no matter what others might have said. "If you want me to approve of your actions, the answer is no. I cannot do that. But, as you said, things have worked out fairly well in the end. I suppose that will suffice for now. Even if I call into question some of your other actions."

Shampoo stared quizzically at that statement. "What's that supposed to mean? What else did I do?"

"Nothing of any particular importance. Just some of your general attitudes," Silk lied effortlessly, silently cursing herself for saying too much and cursing Cologne for forcing her to remain silent.

"Oh," Shampoo said, not really understanding and not wanting to go through any other arguments. She decided to change the subject. "Kiri looks beautiful."

Silk beamed with pride at her daughter. "She is. Poor thing, though. She's going to have to marry Genma Saotome's offspring. I can't imagine a worse hell."

Shampoo began to nod her head. "Oh, I agre...hey! I'm getting married to one of his offspring!"

"I know," Silk sighed. "That's why I'm going to have to keep a close eye on how their son's raised this time around. I don't want him turning into another Ranma."

Shampoo's eyes narrowed at the woman. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say that he's not the sort of boy I would have been interested in when I was your age. I would have looked for someone more open with his emotions and less egotistical."

"Ranma's perfectly fine just the way he is!" Shampoo snarled back, wondering how on earth Silk could have the audacity to compare Ranma to Soun Tendo. Soun might have raised his daughters well, but he was not the sort of man Shampoo regarded as husband material.

Silk sighed. "I don't know how I let Soun talk me into agreeing to allow Kiri to take over the pact. I want her to choose who she's going to marry."

"Thank you for agreeing, though." Shampoo bowed her head in appreciation. "It solved many problems for everyone."

"Well, there is that," Silk admitted. "Look, it's going to take some time to settle our differences. Let's forget about them for now. Today's supposed to be the best day of your life. I know my wedding day was mine, right up there with Kiri's birth."

Speaking of her daughter, she adjusted her grip on Kiri, then looked back at Shampoo once more and was surprised to see a forlorn expression on her once again. One that was not directed at Silk, but rather at the child in her arms. "What's wrong now?"

Shampoo was not sure if she should say anything, then reconsidered. "I'll never be able to do what you're doing."

It took Silk a moment to figure out what she meant. "I'm sure you'll find a cure for your curse someday. You'll have as many children as you want then."

Shampoo slowly shook her head. "No. I don't think so. I don't know why, but I think I'm going to have this curse for the rest of my life. Ranma will probably end up keeping his as well, but it's not exactly the same thing for him that it is for me." Her shoulders sagged a little. "I know we'll have to adopt, which is perfectly fine, but I always dreamed of actually bearing children someday."

As melancholy threatened to settle in, she shook herself out of it, choosing to think instead of her impending marriage to Ranma. It had taken time, but eventually she had come to terms with her condition. Sometimes it still got her down, but not on this day.

As she headed out of the room, Silk spoke up. "Shampoo, it is the responsibility of the parent to take care of the child, no matter what, wouldn't you agree?"

Where had that come from? Silk was becoming more enigmatic by the moment. "Yes. Why do you ask? Does it have something to do with Kiri?"

Silk shook her head as she gave a sad little smile. "I just wanted to know your feelings on the matter. Who knows? Perhaps, by some miracle, you will produce offspring of your own blood. It would be your duty to help take care of them, though."

"Of course. That would be nice." Shampoo left the room without another word, more confused than ever by Silk's erratic behavior. It was as she made her way back to the others that she saw Ranma, Cologne, and Perfume rush down the corridor from the main hall towards her. One look at the concern on their faces was all it took for her to tense up her body for combat.

Ranma spoke before Shampoo could. "It's trouble. I knew something like this was going to happen."

"What kind of trouble?" Like Ranma, Shampoo had suspected things would not go smoothly. Whenever there was any sort of major event in their lives, something went terribly wrong.

Ranma moved closer to Shampoo. "The old ghoul says she sensed the presence of a powerful martial artist nearby."

"That would be me."

Everyone spun around to confront the voice that had come from directly behind them. There was a momentary pause in their tension as they saw no one present.

Shampoo continued trying to divine the source of the noise. "Do you think it's that invisible trick that Happosai us-"

The rest was cut off by the splash of water that came from behind Shampoo, striking her in the back and triggering her curse.

"Actually, I just threw my voice. No martial arts involved."

They all turned to see who had thrown the water. Of the four people present, three recognized the voice immediately. One did not forget the commanding tones the speaker often used when addressing an entire village full of Amazons.

Be Dea did a fair impression of Cologne, remaining balanced on the top of her staff as though it was a perch. Two more buckets of water lay at her feet as she centered her gaze upon Shampoo-kun. "My, my, what a frisky corpse you've turned out to be. And Nanniichuan cursed too. This is such a surprise."

Ranma placed himself between the elder and Shampoo-kun, bringing his fists to bear. "Listen up you old ghoul, errr...I mean other old ghoul. There ain't no way Shampoo's going back to your village, no matter what!"

Rather than appear angered at Ranma's display, Be Dea seemed to be amused. "Oh ho ho! What a feisty one you are, male. Not too many people I know are cocky enough to take on an Elder of the Joketsuzoku, or stupid enough for that matter. I applaud you, whichever the case my be."

Perfume, still towards the back of the party, was in shock at the Elder's presence, as well as the fact the small woman was indeed applauding Ranma. Knowing there was no way she could have not been seen, she chose to confront the Elder. "How did you find out?"

Be Dea's demeanor changed to a more serious one. "You made a mistake in leaving too soon on the heels of our beloved matriarch and her granddaughter. I had always been suspicious of Shampoo's convenient 'death' right before she would have been brought back home and asked some serious questions about peculiar rumors. At first, I was indeed more concerned with what had happened with Mount Phoenix and the aftermath of that little escapade, but I always kept that odd coincidence in the back of my mind. When the three of you left at the same time, and all going to Japan, I decided to tag along."

She focused her attention on Perfume. "Your skills are impressive for one of your age, my protégé, but you're still a hundred years too young to outmaneuver me. I followed you around, counting on you to eventually get to the reason you were in Japan. I was considering going home when you finally showed up here. I think you can figure out the rest. I really expected better from you, Perfume."

Perfume tried to think of something, some words that she could use to salvage the situation, but nothing came to mind. She was out of ideas.

Be Dea shook her head sadly. "It's obvious from your lack of surprise at Shampoo's change, you were aware of her curse as well. I was under the distinct impression she was your blood enemy. Care to explain why you've risked everything for her?"

Again, no words could come to Perfume that might mask the truth of the situation. Rather than fight it, she simply decided to tell the truth. "Before I returned home, I tracked down Shampoo and discovered her presence in Japan. It was here I learned of the curse, and the truth behind our feud. I was not in the right, as I so firmly believed so many years ago when I left my home. I was as much responsible for what happened to me as Shampoo was. She and I came to an understanding that there was no longer any animosity between us. In fact, she sacrificed a cure for me. I owed her too much to simply drag her back to her death when you assigned me my Hunt Pack, so I did everything in my power to protect her even as I tracked her down. I did not directly lie to you or the council. Neither did Elder Cologne. Shampoo was truly dead on the mountain, and by a miracle returned to life. I simply...allowed my words to mislead everyone."

With her explanation complete, Perfume bowed her head in shame once again. She was not sorry she had aided Shampoo, but the pink-haired Amazon had tried so long and hard to build up her growing influence in the tribe, and now it was all for nothing. Killing someone as skilled as Be Dea would not be possible, even with the group present. Perfume would be put to death for her actions, unless she chose to flee like Shampoo. Truthfully, she was uncertain if she had the resolve to leave it again after all she had built. It might have been too much.

Unlike the others, who looked warily toward Be Dea, Cologne felt something different in her rival's presence. There was a distinct lack of enmity coming from her. It was more like a mild aura of anxiousness that surrounded her. "What are your plans now, Be Dea?"

Be Dea seemed amused by Cologne's inquiry. "That is a good question, isn't it? What I should do is have all three of you brought back on charges that would essentially execute you within minutes of your return home." Be Dea considered allowing them to fret over that for a while, but changed her mind. It would be best to get to the point.

"However, I don't see that serving any useful purpose. For one thing, it would be a significant embarrassment for me. I've been a major force in backing my protégé from the beginning." She indicated Perfume. "To have it revealed I was played like a fool by a mere child wouldn't do much for my influence there. Also, I see no good coming about in having our matriarch removed from office and summarily executed. Likewise Shampoo, even with her curse, doesn't really represent a threat to our way of life. Not with her being officially dead and all."

The others felt hope begin to build up among them, though they tried guarding it with the uncertainty of exactly what the old woman was planning.

Be Dea hopped off her staff and began to walk around. "I don't see how dragging your collective unwilling carcasses back home would serve us at all. No. I think I have a much better solution. Let's see if you agree with me."

She watched the others observe her intently. Good. She had their full attention. "The gist of this problem is Shampoo's curse. With it, she should be put to death. I would guess she's had it since she first disappeared without a trace from home three years ago. Is this correct?" she asked Shampoo-kun, who nodded in response. "As I thought. It's been three years since she's had this curse, yet by some miracle our society has not fallen apart." That was said in a heavily sarcastic tone. "Bearing that in mind, and the fact Shampoo has been officially declared dead, I see no reason to disrupt that 'mistake'." She gave Shampoo a serious look. "As long as you swear to me that you will not return home, bearing a curse or not, I shall forget that I ever saw you alive."

Shampoo-kun found himself considering that, despite the fact it really was no choice. To give up his home for the rest of his life seemed too high a price to pay, especially if he found a cure, but considering the alternative...

He looked to Ranma, smiled, than nodded to Be Dea.

"Excellent," the Elder bubbled in excitement as she picked up one of the remaining buckets of the water. "There are a few other details I must work out with our Matriarch and my protégé. Why don't the two of you go back out to the hall? You do have a wedding to have in a short while, yes?"

Shampoo-kun looked hesitantly to his great-grandmother. He did not like the idea of Be Dea trying to work some other side deal with Cologne, but again, given the circumstances, there seemed to be little choice. Be Dea was powerful enough that even their combined forces would not be able to prevent her from escaping. And attacking her would ensure everything in the world was done to hunt them down to the ends of the earth and kill them. It was going to be best to just go along with whatever scheme the old one had concocted.

Cologne waved Shampoo-kun on, helping him in his decision. "Don't worry about me. I have a feeling her demands are going to be somewhat less than you think. We'll rejoin you in plenty of time for the wedding."

"And here's something to send you on your way." Be Dea tossed the bucket of water that she held in her hand, the one she had just heated with her chi, and tossed it on Shampoo-kun, which reverted him back to his true form.

"You look much better in that dress now. All you need to do is dry your hair and you should be as good as new." Be Dea turned once again to Cologne, leaving Ranma and Shampoo nothing to do but grab a towel as she suggested and dry off. Both of them gave her suspicious glares as they left.

"If there are any problems, Great-Grandmother, let me know."

Cologne waved Shampoo on again. "I'll join you in a little while," Cologne assured her, then returned her attention to Be Dea.

Be Dea looked at her grimly. "Sorry to do that to your great-granddaughter, but I think it was for the best."

"Banning her for life, even if she finds a cure?" Cologne asked, wondering once again what Be Dea was up to.

"It would raise too many questions that might come back to haunt me and my protégé in the future. No. I think she can manage to have a happy life abroad with her new husband. Things are falling into place for me, and that sort of disruption I don't need." She gave Cologne an intense stare, indicating the change in direction of the conversation without saying a word. "How much longer do you think you have left?"

Cologne sighed. Of course Be Dea would know. Undoubtedly all of the council members knew of her condition. "No more than three years. Probably less."

"And then the leadership goes over to Perfume."

Cologne looked in surprise at Be Dea. "I thought you would covet the position yourself."

Be Dea shook her head. "As little as a year ago I might have, but no longer. I fear that Shou Ya was right, and I am mired in the past. I've sought to hide us away from the world and live our lives without outside interference, but that will no longer work. The world is too small a place now. We need a little more new blood back home. I figure I'll serve as an interim leader until we groom Perfume a little more and get everyone used to the idea of a relatively young leader once more. With your backing, of course."

Now it made sense to Cologne. "You want me to back you in Perfume's bid to become the next leader. And you wanted to make sure I didn't try to sneak Shampoo in there to somehow undermine any arguments you could make about it."

Be Dea nodded in satisfaction. "You always tended to be one step ahead of me. I can admit that now that you're almost done for. So, do you agree to these terms?"

Cologne considered it. No matter what, she would not be present for what would happen in the future, and Shampoo ever attaining leadership was no longer a possibility. She had some doubts about some of the new ideas Perfume implemented at home and what she had said she wanted for the future, but given the circumstances, allowing her to lead would probably be the best bet for the future.

It was all decided with a nod of her head.

Ranma and Shampoo watched anxiously as Cologne, Be Dea, and Perfume emerged from in back, all of them seeming to be happy with the outcome of their discussion. After making sure things were as they appeared, and learning Be Dea wanted to stay for the wedding, promising not to interfere, they breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was too close," Ranma said. He mentally kicked himself for letting his guard down like that. Things had gone far too smoothly leading up to the wedding, especially with Aki making it in time. He should have anticipated someone like Be Dea showing up and ruining everything. There was no longer time to take any chances. They had to move now.

He turned to his fiancee to get her agreement as well. "Look, I think everyone we want to show up is here. Let's get this thing over with before something else happens that really ruins it."

Shampoo mirrored his sentiment. The two gathered together the entire bridal party, then told everyone else to move to the temple for the upcoming ceremony. As they made their way there, the wedding party prepared themselves. Everything was almost in place.

The priest stared once more at the girl in the exotic-looking, red and black dress with the odd symbol on the front, and at her partner, the one in the shrine maidens' robes. Ranma had assured him the duo's presence was necessary for the wedding, and that the priest should wait in the room that they had 'prepared' for him towards the back of the temple. Upon entering the room for the first time since it had been prepared, he nearly bolted. It was covered in what he recognized as various spirit wards and runes on nearly every square inch of open space. 'It's for your protection,' or so they had said. When he pressed them about what he was being protected from, they had simply replied, 'Who knows?'

At last he worked up the courage to ask once again. "Why do I need the two of you to guard me?"

Minami at last answered the question, figuring there was no longer enough time for him to successfully try fleeing. "Because you are going to be performing the wedding ceremony of Ranma Saotome and Shampoo. Bad things happen to Ranma. Bad things happen to Shampoo. Whenever one tries to plan something, it usually goes wrong. The more elaborate the plan, the more horribly things go wrong. You don't want to know what happened the last time Ranma tried to get married."

Yohko nodded her head solemnly, and she had not even been there. "They say that in case something happens to this guy, they have a second priest in disguise out there so the wedding can still go on. They planned for just about everything this time around."

Somehow, the idea that others had counted on him not being able to perform the ceremony, in spite of the protections they had around him, made the priest feel even more nervous than before.

Yohko decided to check over the magic protection wards for the sixth time. Satisfied they were intact, she began some small talk of her own. "Nabiki said the odds are six to one against them successfully pulling this off without at least one major catastrophe."

Minami snorted derisively at that. "No way. Even at ten to one I still wouldn't take it."

Yohko considered that, agreed, and then felt the urge to check on her wards for the seventh time.

The Director gazed upon the scene before him from the balcony high above the main floor of the temple. All seemed to be in place. He had personally double-checked the set up once more. He had removed the trap doors the crew had installed underneath the area where the groom and bride were supposed to stand. He had destroyed the disco ball they had attempted to put up for when the music started. And he had broken into tiny pieces the 'Icelandic Pygmy Marching Band's Greatest Hits' CD that the crew had attempted to insert into the audio system. All seemed to be in readiness. He activated his personal link to the audio system.

"LET IT BEGIN!"

"Our son's about to get married," Nodoka began crying, unable to contain herself as she wept into Genma's shoulder.

"My daughter's about to make the biggest mistake of her life!" Comb wept into her husband's shoulder.

"Hey, Babe. How about you and mOUCH!" D'Amour found himself nearly unconscious at the hands of a tremendous slap delivered by one of the female guests he had just hit upon.

Everyone watched as the priest approached the altar, flanked by Yohko and Minami, who had soul and ebony swords drawn, waiting for something to attack. Both remained at his side as he took his place and nothing bad seemed to happen. Even from the floor, everyone could make out the sheen of sweat on the man's brow. It appeared he was going to either pass out or bolt at any moment.

"They'd better hurry," Ai mumbled from her seat, disappointed she was not allowed to participate in the bridal group that was about to make its way to the priest. Ukyou had told her she was regarded like Kasumi and the others and could not be allowed to take part in it: there was too much risk.

The first member of the group finally made an appearance from the area that the party was about to emerge. Perfume had her naginta in hand, crouched low as though she were moving behind some enemy's lines. Her eyes scanned back and forth between the aisles as she quickly scouted out the path to the priest. Once she arrived before the bewildered man, she shouted out. "Clear!"

Most weddings had the bridal party come out one at a time, each following the other slowly as took their proper positions near the priest and waited for the bride and groom to come forth. Of course, most weddings did not feature either Neriman Martial Artists or Chinese Amazons, let alone two that had a tendency to attract trouble wherever they may go. That made the circumstance somewhat exceptional. So it should not have been much of a surprise to anyone familiar with the histories of the two people about to be married that, rather than emerging one by one, the party came out all at once, surrounding the bride and groom as though they were about to become the targets of an assassination attempt.

"Movemovemove!" Ranma shouted as the human shield/ bridal party surrounding the duo rushed forward to the priest, who simply looked on, astounded by what he was witnessing. Upon arriving successfully at the altar, the group remained where it was, weapons drawn and looking all around just waiting for someone or something to attack.

Ranma grabbed the priest's attention. "Quick! Give us the short version of the ceremony before something bad happens!"

"The short version?" the priest asked.

"Yeah. The absolute minimum of words necessary to marry us."

"You want me to rush things?"

"Yeah."

"But this is the happiest day of your life. Don't you want to savor every moment of being united to the woman you love?"

"I'll savor after I'm married."

"I really think I should take my time with this."

"Let me put it to you this way. If you don't hurry things along right now, an eighty foot psychotic Chinese Dragon/Emperor might very well come along, rip the roof off of this place, and begin turning us all into piles of briquettes."

"Do you Ranma Saotome take Shampoo to be the your wife for the rest of your life and do you Shampoo take Ranma Saotome to be your husband for the rest of your life?"

"Yes," Ranma said.

"Yes," Shampoo said.

"You'remarriedkissthebrideI'moutofhere!"

The priest had never run so fast in his life as he rushed through the doorway to the temple and vowed to become something safer, like a bomb disposal engineer.

Ranma and Shampoo looked at one another, scarcely believing what had just happened.

"We're married?" Ranma asked.

"We're married," Shampoo confirmed.

"And nothing bad happened?"

"And nothing bad happened," Shampoo confirmed once again.

"Feels like something's missing, doesn't it?"

"You didn't kiss me yet," Shampoo reminded him.

"Ah. Right. Do we really got to do it in front of everyone though?"

In answer, Shampoo threw him to the ground and began initiating him in the 'lethal' art of Amazon Osculation Techniques. Ranma found himself particularly enjoying the tongue part of it as it intertwined with his.

High above, on the balcony, the Director looked down and smiled in approval. "Ah. There is nothing like the sweet sight of success."

The stagehand next to him smiled in agreement. "Indeed, sir. All we need to do now is finish up with the twenty-one cannon salute."

"Yes. All that is left is...WHAT?!"

"The twenty-one cannon salute that you end a wedding on." The stagehand raised his right arm in a gesture to the other stagehands that were poised for the final step.

"YOU DON'T END WEDDINGS WITH A TWENTY-ONE CANNON SALUTE!"

The stagehand lowered his hand before the statement registered. "Oops! Oh well, I guess we do now."

The cannons, that had been cleverly disguised as giant vases by having the barrels pointed upwards and stuffed with flowers, had their fuses lit at the same time. So it was that twenty one cannons went off simultaneously, blowing the roof off the temple and collapsing the entire structure around all of its occupants.

It was a full minute later before a piece of rubble was forced aside, revealing a young man in a torn tuxedo from underneath. There was a glazed look to Ranma's eyes as he stared at the devastation that surrounded him. It was another full minute before he spoke.

"That was some kiss." And promptly hit the ground, unconscious.

"It's a good thing you thought to protect everyone's seat with a mystic shield ward," Kyoko said to Minami.

"Unhh."

"Otherwise a lot of people could have been hurt. As it is, the only people that weren't shielded protected themselves through other means."

"Unhh."

"Too bad you didn't think to use one for yourself."

"Unhh."

Kyoko felt there was nothing more she could do, so she left Minami lying on the cot and decided to rejoin the reception.

Once everyone had been dug out of the rubble, by some miracle no one having more than a few scratches, the guests moved back to the hall where the reception was now being held. Food had been set up, but everyone was waiting for the cake to arrive so that the official celebration could get underway. Kyoko took a place near Ryouga and the married couple as the cake was finally brought out at last. It was a multi-layered beauty that made Kyoko swoon. She could only wish that she would have a cake as grand as that for her eventual wedding day.

Ranma too, was excited as the cake approached. "That looks good," he practically moaned. He had been too nervous before the wedding to eat anything. But now that it was over at last, his appetite returned with a vengeance.

"Don't forget. It's an Amazon tradition for the wife to feed her husband the first piece of cake," Shampoo reminded him as she watched the cake approach.

"Like you need to tell me to eat first," Ranma bantered back as the cake was brought before him. He refrained from drooling as he looked over the pale white surface of it. The icing in particular caught his interest. On it was an intricate design that was very appealing to the eye. It would almost be a shame to have to ruin it be eating it. Almost.

His eyes continued devouring it until he noticed one part of the icing that caught his eye. It was located right next to the two little figures (a specially designed set that closely resembled the now married couple, right down to their outfits) that adorned the top of the cake. On the top layer of the cake, written out in the icing, were several words that were altogether too familiar to him:

'Ranma Saotome will never be caught by some violent Amazon chick.'

Ranma gave Shampoo a flat stare.

She smirked in return. "I told you so."

"I thought this was supposed to be a happy occasion," Ranma said as continued staring at Shampoo.

"It is," Shampoo assured him as she continued to smile. "And it gets better." She cut out a piece of cake, making certain it had what she wanted on it

"It's time to eat my words, isn't it?" Ranma asked as he looked the piece over.

Shampoo nodded happily in agreement. Ranma actually found a smile rise to his lips as he began devouring the piece of cake. Some words just weren't all that hard to swallow.

It was an hour later that Shampoo examined the remains of the cake. Well, the remaining crumbs of the cake was more accurate. Apparently, everyone on the Saotome side of the family really had bottomless pits for stomachs. Of course that meant it would be all the easier to placate Ranma by cooking for him, an enjoyable task to say the least. She gazed upon her husband, who was once again speaking to his mother and father in an animated discussion. Shampoo had forced herself to talk to her new in-laws earlier. Genma was not the problem so much as Nodoka was. There was still a lot of friction between the two of them. It was for the best that she left Ranma alone to talk with them, so she remained off to the side and out of earshot.

"You look happy."

Shampoo had been so intent on watching her husband that she had not noticed that Aki had joined her at her side. She smiled at her friend. "I am. I can't think of anything that would make this day any better."

"How about sleeping with Ranma?"

"That goes without saying."

Aki nodded her head in agreement. "That reminds me," she pulled a wrapped gift from behind her back. "This is for you guys."

Shampoo's eyes practically sparkled as she ripped the wrapping off to see the present inside. True, she should have waited to open it with Ranma at her side, but it proved impossible for her. Unwrapping gifts was one of her favorite things in the world.

The paper fell to the floor as she gazed upon the present. "A copy of the Kama Sutra."

"Yep." Aki grinned happily. "I figured Ranma wouldn't have any idea of what to do beyond the basic stuff, and since telling your guy what to do in the middle of sex can be a real turn-off, I thought it might come in handy."

"Thanks, Aki," Shampoo said as she tucked the book under her arm.

"Hey! What's wrong with your new hubby?" Aki asked as she pointed to the gift table Ranma was now sitting at, his conversation with his parents ending while Shampoo had unwrapped her gift.

Fear gripped Shampoo's heart as she turned to see what had happened to Ranma. She saw the book in his grip and relaxed. All that seemed to be the matter was Ranma's eyes were bulging so much they were nearly out of their sockets and his pig-tail was sticking straight out from the back of his head.

"He's looking over another copy of the Kama Sutra. Great-Grandmother and Perfume each gave me a copy of the book too. Perfume even put liner notes in the margins." Shampoo sighed, thinking about Ranma's current reaction. It would have been best to get that sort of thing out of the way early on. He really should have slept with her before, then he would not be having the problems he currently had.

Aki rubbed her chin in thought. "Shoot. I thought I was the only one that would have thought of that. Maybe I can figure out something else before I have to go."

"Don't worry about it," Shampoo assured her. "Your being here is enough of a gift."

"Oh fine, make me feel worse by being gracious," Aki grumbled. "By the way, where are you going on your honeymoon?"

"Just a small hot springs, and that was a gift from Ryouga. We didn't have enough money to go anywhere on our own."

Aki considered that as she walked off, her mind spinning in thought.

Shampoo made her way over to Ranma, who had recovered from his initial shock enough that he was not only relaxed, but now looking at the book in interest. That he was also rotating it around, as though trying to figure out which way was up, did not escape Shampoo's notice either.

"Pervert," she whispered seductively in his ear.

Ranma nearly jumped out of his seat in fright. In an instant, he tucked the book behind his back, loudly announcing, "It ain't mine! Someone left it on the table and it was open! I ain't a pervert and wouldn't do none of that stuff with you."

Shampoo gave him a mock hurt look, even sniffling as though she was about to cry. "You mean you don't want to have sex with me?"

Ranma felt himself panicking once again, wondering what he had messed up this time. "Yes! Of course I do!"

Shampoo went from fake tears to playful spouse as she darted her hands behind his back and snatched the book from his hands. She quickly leafed through the pages before settling on one of the pictures. "I want to try that one."

Ranma examined the picture closely. "Looks kind of uncomfortable."

"I think we can manage. We're both pretty flexible."

"True." Ranma visualized doing that with Shampoo and found himself getting very excited. Married life was finding itself full of pleasant surprises, all of them appealing.

"It is yours, actually ours, by the way. Everything on the table is," Shampoo pointed out as she made a sweeping gesture to all of the gifts on the table.

Ranma's eyes looked all of the gifts over. Shampoo had actually opened all of them herself when no one was looking, leaving the paper scattered all around. "How come we got two copies of it then? Are they different editions or something?"

Shampoo decided to have some fun with him. "No. It just means that we have to do each position in them twice. It's a wedding tradition."

Ranma leafed through the other copy on the table. "Geez! That'll take at least two weeks!"

Shampoo nearly facefaulted in shock at the boast, then realized exactly how much sexual energy Ranma must have been storing up over the years and wondered if he really was being serious after all. It would be fun finding out, at least. And from the eager gleam in his eyes as he read the book more intently, she thought he felt the same way.

Ranma put down the copy and looked over some of the other gifts. There was a bokken from Kunou, several demon wards from Yohko and Minami, a recipe book on okonomiyaki from Ukyou, cooking utensils from Kasumi, and then there was the box from Ai which was affectionately labeled 'Starter Kit.' Ranma and Shampoo opened the box and looked inside, not touching any of the instruments within the container.

Ranma just stared at the contents in disbelief. "Look at this weird stuff. Does she think we're both going to be doing it as girls or something? I mean, that long one's got two ends to it. Blech!"

"You mean you wouldn't like me walking up and down your back in those spiked heels?" Shampoo asked playfully as she pointed to several of the less risqué items inside.

"No! Although the leather outfit is kind of kinky," Ranma said as he reconsidered.

"Would you be wearing it, or me?" Shampoo asked as she allowed her hand to play in the small of his back.

He reached behind him to bring it around his waist. "You, but not for long." No one seemed to be looking at them at the moment, so he gave her a kiss on the cheek. Open romantic gestures were still uncomfortable to him.

Shampoo felt her heart start to race in excitement. "We'd better get going. Let's make one more round of saying good bye to everyone and leave on the honeymoon." She began to pull away from Ranma, intending to make her farewells very brief in anticipation for the upcoming honeymoon events.

Ranma held onto her hand, not allowing her to leave just yet. "Wait. There's one last gift. Something I got you myself."

The soft look he gave would have made her fall in love with him, if she had not been already. "You don't have to give me anything."

He pulled the small package Aki had given him from out of his pocket and handed it to his wife. "Open it and look inside."

In a flash the wrapping paper was gone and Shampoo laid her eyes on the contents. Tears flooded her eyes as she was overwhelmed by what lay before her.

"My hairpiece," she barely managed to get the soft murmur out.

Ranma's usual bluster was absent as he whispered gently into his wife's ear. "I promised you I'd get it back." He kissed the side of her cheek, not caring if anyone saw him this time around.

The kiss startled her out of her reverie and she gave Ranma a warm embrace, which he returned. She remained in it for what seemed like an eternity before matching up the hairpiece with its twin on her long ponytail. Now all was right in the world.

Ranma decided to make a break for the lavatory before they began their final round of good-byes. It was during his absence that D'Amour maneuvered himself quietly to Shampoo's side. She refrained from following her impulse of striking him into unconsciousness on general principle.

"It's so wonderful to see you again, Miss Shampoo."

"That's Mrs. Saotome, to you." Saying that out loud awakened something inside her. She really was Mrs. Saotome, wife of Ranma Saotome now. So much of what had happened earlier had seemed like a dream. It was only now that the reality of the matter had truly begun to settle in. Married. She was really and truly married now. It felt so wonderful that she wished Ranma had been at her side so she could glomp him once again.

D'Amour's voice disturbed her peaceful wish. "I've been talking with Aki. She says you aren't going on much of a honeymoon, just to some crappy little hot spring for a few days. Well, it just so happens that my wonderful ship is going on an extended voyage to Taiwan. I was thinking that, since I didn't get you a present, I could offer a pleasant honeymoon cruise to you."

Shampoo was genuinely pleased by the offer. A cruise, even on TWPOS, sounded better than a simple little hot spring vacation. "Thank you."

D'Amour moved even closer to her. "Besides, once you get the seven day itch, I can be there to scratch it, Babe."

So that was the catch. It figured. "I thought that was a 'seven year' itch."

"Well, considering who your husband is, I figure it will only take about seven days for that itch to set in." D'Amour placed his hand on her, intending to show her where he would scratch.

Shampoo removed the captain's hand from her person, bending two of the fingers one way and two others in the opposite direction. Her reward was to see him go down on one knee in pain. "No one may touch me there but my husband, scum!" She released his hand, suddenly becoming pleasant once again. "I will take you up on your offer of a honeymoon cruise, however. Just remember that if you touch me, someone will be feeding the sharks with his worthless carcass."

D'Amour shook off the pain, gave Shampoo a sweeping bow, then walked off to sulk. He had hit on just about every good-looking woman at the wedding, even the bride, and still no luck. Even when he offered his services to the lesbians, Ukyou and Ai, they had hit him with a spatula and a baton. Everyone was just so violent lately. Whatever happened to 'free love?'

His self-pity party ended abruptly when he saw an incredibly gorgeous woman sitting by herself, a dejected look etched on her face. She appeared absolutely miserable, as though the world itself had ended. With a deft move he plucked a rose from a nearby flower arrangement, sniffed its alluring aroma, and put on his 'sympathy look'. It was now up to him to cheer the attractive woman up, comforting her with words at first, then with his skillful fingers later.

He offered the flower to her. "Ah, my sweet ravishing beauty. Do not weep at what chance misfortunes have besieged you. Permit me to present to you a token that would grant you freedom from the sorrows that have afflicted you. Allow this humble gift to come from a man that will now never know peace in his heart. A heart that has been captured with but one, ephemeral glance of you."

D'Amour unleashed his most roguish smile as Comb's hand slowly went for something tucked behind her back.

Ranma listened as Shampoo told him of D'Amour's offer. It sounded good to him. Any voyage TWPOS would be going on would take at the very least two weeks to get there, if not longer. It sounded like a much nicer honeymoon than what they originally had to settle for.

"Well, let's say our final goodbyes to everyone," Ranma said as he looked the crowd over for the last time. "Then it's off for some peace and quiet with you."

"I don't think it's going to be peaceful or quiet for quite a while, husband." Shampoo snuggled against him to make sure he understood the message.

"Okay," Ranma conceded. "It'll be wild and loud, but fun."

"Definitely fun," Shampoo agreed as D'Amour shot past them as though the Devil himself was hot on his tail.

"Make way!" he shouted.

"Come back here, pig! I'll castrate you for daring that!" Comb shouted as she swung her long sword at him.

"But all I did was offer to make you happy!"

"I know what you wanted! The same thing all of your kind wants! You were going to try to sweet talk me into bedding you!" She swung her sword, the captain barely avoiding the blow that had been directed between his legs.

"Well, yes, but I hadn't even gotten to that part yet!"

"DIE!" She swung once again.

Shampoo watched with an amused grin as Comb continued chasing D'Amour. "It looks like Mother is a lot happier now."

"Yeah," Ranma agreed. It was nice of D'Amour to cheer Comb up like that by giving her a worthy target to vent her wrath. He even cheered his mother-in-law on as she sliced through the back of D'Amour's tuxedo, the man crying out in pain that he would never be able to pick up a 'babe' anymore now that his clothing was ruined.

Shampoo and Ranma walked arm in arm, telling everyone farewell for the last time before setting off at last on their long overdue honeymoon. All they wanted now was some peaceful time with one another before the next calamity life threw at them came rumbling around.

As they made their farewells, each of them felt as though something was ending. Their thoughts unknowingly mirrored one another as they thought that it was perhaps the ending of the journey they had begun three years ago in a magical place called Jusenkyou. Of course, while it felt like an ending of one journey, at the same time it also felt as though it was the beginning of another one. One that would perhaps prove itself as interesting as the previous one, if not moreso. After all, how could a few random fights with lethal martial artists compare to what the future held for the couple? Married life would be far more stressful than anything a mere wandering warrior could throw at either one of the duo, and deep inside, both Ranma Saotome and Shampoo knew this to be true.

Life was going get even more interesting from now on.

Finale

Ranma gave a grunt as he at last gave release to his pent up passion once again. Shampoo writhed beneath him as he finished, also shouting out in pleasure at how he had brought her to the realm of orgasmic pleasure once again. He remained on top of her for several moments before rolling off and to her side, taking a moment as he came down from his own sexual high to enjoy the afterglow on his wife's face. She always looked so beautiful after they made love, even being covered with sweat and gasping out as she slowly regained control over her body's release of energy.

"So," he at last spoke, breaking the silence. "Was it as good for you that time as it was for me?"

Shampoo seemed to consider that seriously for a few moments before answering, "No."

Ranma gave out a loud groan once again. "No again? Geez. It's been four days and I still ain't got it right yet. I mean we did it until we broke the bed. Then we did it on the floor, in the shower, on the sink, in that room next to D'Amour's as loudly as we could to piss him off."

Shampoo smiled brightly at that. D'Amour's reaction to his temporary 'neighbor's' noise was to cry, as though someone was torturing him, loud enough to be heard by both Shampoo and Ranma, even over the cacophony they were generating.

Ranma's list continued. "On the bridge when no one was there. I can't believe you broke the steering wheel like that, though."

"I was excited, Husband, and needed something to brace against. You are very powerful, you know."

Ranma laughed sheepishly at that. "That's true. Then the crow's nest. I don't know how you talked me into doing it in the open like that."

"You seemed especially excited at that though," Shampoo pointed out.

"Well, at least no one saw us."

"Ranma," Shampoo said softly as she ran her hand across his chest.

"Never mind. Let me get out the manual." The 'manual' was one of the copies of the Kama Sutra they owned. He began turning the pages, avoiding the ones they had already marked off as 'done'.

"Ranma," she said softly once again.

He looked up from a particular interesting drawing. "What?"

"It wasn't as good for me as it was for you. It was better."

"It was?"

Shampoo nodded happily in agreement. "Actually, it was like that several times. I just wanted to see how much endurance you really had. Thank you for trying so hard to please me."

"Satisfied with the results?" Ranma smirked.

"Oh yes," Shampoo assured him as she continued stroking his chest.

Ranma watched the hand move back and forth several times before speaking again. "Hey Shampoo?"

"Yes?"

"Want to do it again, just to be sure I got it right?"

There was an unmistakable gleam in his eyes she had learned to recognize all too well in the last two days. Oh yes. He had a lot of pent up energy indeed. "Sounds like fun." She rolled on top of him, getting ready for one more go around.

Just as she got herself into position, they heard a loud voice shout out something about a Kraken attacking the ship. They paused a moment to look over one another, then gave a tired sigh.

"It never ends, does it?" Ranma sighed as Shampoo rolled off of him.

"Would you want it any other way?" she asked with a smile.

Ranma considered that for two whole seconds before returning the smile with one of his own. "Nah."

The two got up and dressed in a flash. As Ranma finished buttoning up his top, he leveled a lop-sided grin once more. "After we beat up whatever the hell a Kraken is, we're going to finish that book, right?"

Shampoo smiled right back and turned as they raced out of the door of the cabin and into whatever the future might hold.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well this is the end. Congratulations! You finally made it. Now you can go home. Show's over. ^_^ Any last comments on the series would, of course, be greatly appreciated.

Special thanks to:

Ed Becerra for helping me with Narasuma's name.

Ryan Anderson  
Jim Bader  
Bloodblade  
Gary Kleppe  
Lord Talon  
Jason Liao  
Miashara  
Wade Tritschler


	46. Lost Chapter 1: Da Laws of Discipline

Prologue

Fingers of golden light clawed their way over the horizon, seeking the lands beyond to bathe them in their fiery glow. Gently, dawn broke, highlighting the gray-brown exterior of Furinkan High as the land sluggishly woke from its deep nocturnal slumber. The sun alerted the birds to waken and cry out in celebration of the morning. Soon, they were joined by the sounds of heavy machinery in greeting the new day. Deep baritone rumbles reverberated off the walls of the school as a number of unusual modifications were made to the higher institute of learning.

Two figures stood apart from the construction workers, choosing to observe all that was going on from the front of the school. They admired the work as large mounds of earth were ripped from the ground and several rows of new trees were added to the front of the school. They continued watching as a small army of workers toiled in the track and athletic fields, working quickly to finish their job before the new school day started.

The one on the left was a slightly heavy-set man whose apparent bulk was, in truth, more muscle than fat. He wore a loose, garish outfit with a tropical motif, mostly in a loud red and blue mixture that made one's eyes want to water. Through darkened sunglasses he watched the sunrise, then took a sip of the pineapple juice he held in his hand. "You be t'inkin' de lil' wahines goan 'be pretty surprised when dey be comin' to de school today?"

"I should say so." The other man nodded in satisfaction at the work. He was larger than his companion, standing just under seven feet tall with a broad chest that could not be hidden, even under his outfit. Anyone looking at him would not only have noticed his tremendous height, but also that he was somewhat oval shaped, his large, well-tailored brown suit only adding to the appearance. His face was exceptionally round, and quite ugly. Hair that was oily and black was pulled back tight around his skull.

"I wen' lookin' over de reports dat da assistant principal sendin' me about dis lot. Dey ain't gonna' like some o' de new rules that goan' be comin' down today. You sure you up fo' dis, brudda? Dese keiki are some tough cookies, yeah!"

In answer, the larger man crossed his arms and scoffed. His voice was deep and scratchy as he said, "It matters little. They will bow in obedience to you on this day, or else they shall be forced to deal with me. There's no student body in the world that can withstand the measures I'll take in forcing their acquiescence. Discipline must always be maintained. Always."

"And good haircuts. Dere's always gotta be de good lookin' haircuts too."

"Right. And haircuts too."

"And clean bathrooms. Dere's always gotta be de spic-and-span lookin' bathrooms too."

"Right. And clean bathrooms too."

"And lots of statues of de good-lookin' principal."

"Whatever." The larger man shook his head. All right. So maybe this principal wasn't exactly the most normal person on the block. At least he took discipline seriously, or he wouldn't have called the most powerful disciplinarian around to keep his largely juvenile delinquent student population in line.

Gompachi Chabane cracked his knuckles and smiled. No matter how tough the students might have thought they were, they would be no match for a teacher that was one step up the evolutionary ladder from them.

It was not a good day to be a student at Furinkan High

Ranma ½ Presents:

Shampoo ½

'Lost Chapter 1'

Da Laws of Discipline

Dug this out from way back when, so it's a lot rougher than my later works.

Yep, it's finally back (sort of). This was originally written WAY back when I was first starting Shampoo ½. Back then I actually had a chapter or two written ahead of time (hey, I was writing in script format, what did you expect?) and as the time to release this one neared, I came to a couple of conclusions:

1: The story was going to be longer than I had originally thought.

2: This chapter was more silly than anything else and didn't have anything like character development in it.

This was done early in my 'career,' so in spite of the revision, it'll probably show. It might be nice to read, but since it didn't have anything major to add to the plot, it was best if I didn't extend what was going to be a long story further with events that didn't keep things moving along. So it went on the shelf to collect dust, so to speak, waiting for the day I might convert it to prose and release it. Well, after, oh seven months or so since the last chapter of Shampoo ½, here we are. (and no, don't ask me when I might start the sequel. I still haven't figured it out yet myself. Hopefully I can start writing about the honeymoon cruise soon)

These events take place between chapters 8 and 9. Meaning Ukyou and Shampoo still really don't get along. Ranma and Ryouga still really don't get along. And Ghost Sweeper Minami has just been introduced. Akane's hair is still exceptionally short thanks to LinLin trying to take off her head. Shampoo goes to school as a guy and everyone calls 'him' Ranma, and Ranma goes to school as and everyone calls 'her' Shampoo. I think that just about covers it.

And with that out of the way, here we go..

An alternate universe:

What has gone on before, The Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou and began to spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already began a duel there. One mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma and accidentally became engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma became engaged to Akane. On the first day of school, water and confusion mixed causing everyone to believe Ranma-chan is Shampoo and Shampoo-kun is Ranma. Most of the women in the school have been attempting to defeat 'Ranma' in order to date him ever since. Last chapter a Fear causing demon attacked the school, and was driven off by the combined efforts of Akane and the newly arrived addition to the school, a young up and coming Ghost Sweeper by the name of Minami.

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"Out of the way, slowpoke!" Ranma-chan vaulted over his father by flipping in mid-air, planting his hand on Genma's head and using it as a springboard to get past him and to the breakfast table. The force of Ranma-chan's push proved enough to throw Genma off-balance. Pinwheeling his arms like a giant, overweight windmill, he tried to keep from falling facefirst into the floor. Just as it appeared his efforts were and vain and he would fall down, he somehow managed to regain his footing. With both feet firmly planted and his vertical base reestablished, a smile spread across his features. He could still take what his son dished out.

Then Shampoo-kun came through, following Ranma-chan's course by using his foot to spring off Genma's head and past him. This time the big man didn't have a chance as he ended up falling facefirst into the wooden floorboards.

"Watch your footing, Mr. Saotome," Kasumi said as she walked past his fallen form and into the kitchen.

By the time Genma recovered he discovered that breakfast was almost over and that the best food had already been eaten. He bemoaned his fate. Did his only child expect him to starve?

Ranma-chan wiped several crumbs from her chin. She would have considered breakfast quite tasty, had she taken the time to taste it rather than simply inhaling it directly to her stomach. "Let's get going to—" She stopped as a red bento box, neatly wrapped up with a green bow, was placed before her, right in-between the dishes that she had held breakfast moments before. The only problem with that was who had placed it there. "Akane, is that—"

"Lunch for you," Akane smiled warmly. This time it was going to work. This time Ranma would enjoy the food and thank her. She just knew it, deep in her heart. It was like a premonition.

"Tough luck." Shampoo-kun smiled at the victim, at least until Akane plopped down a box in front of him as well.

"And one for Nabiki." Akane's action was returned by a flat stare from her sister, one that she noticed immediately. "Hey, I'm just trying to help out Kasumi."

There was a loud thud to her left. Everyone turned to see Shampoo-kun's bonbori embedded in the box. "Oops! Bonbori slipped from grasp. Poor lunch. Is too, too bad." The denial actually carried a hint of credibility, a testament to Shampoo-kun's acting ability. Not that anyone actually believed it.

The cursed Amazon was still apologizing when Akane placed another box in front of him. "Don't worry. I made an extra. Luckily, I know you're not so clumsy as to let that happen again." That carried a hint of warning to it.

"Heh." Shampoo-kun laughed weakly while cursing his luck.

"Time," Nabiki announced as she fingered her watch, then got up and headed for the door.

Running late, there were no further arguments as the quartet gathered their things and hurried to school, Ranma-chan resisting Nabiki's efforts to unload 'her fiancee's' lunch upon her when Akane was out of easy hearing range.

Halfway to school, Ukyou and Ryouga joined up with the others. A new marching order followed as the two groups mixed to become one. Ryouga was on the far end, followed by Ukyou (who was making sure a fight didn't break out between him and Ranma-chan,) Ranma-chan, (who wanted to spend time next to Ukyou, and to make sure Ryouga didn't bother her old acquaintance), Akane, (who was trying to keep as much distance between Ukyou and Shampoo-kun as she could), and Shampoo-kun, (who was scowling at Ukyou for being too close to Ranma-chan) with Nabiki staying far behind the group, lest an errant spatula or bonbori strike her should a fight break out.

Upon arriving at school, a battle cry roared as an unusually large group came to try their luck at the 'dating game.'

Shampoo-kun sighed, "Don't girls ever give up?" and drew his bonbori. He had thought things were getting better since the number of girls had been steadily dropping since the play incident. But apparently it was just a lull in the storm. The only thing the situation had going for it was that it helped to keep him in shape, not that playing with annoying spatula-wielding crossdressers and martial arts figure skaters made for an easy time.

In spite of the larger number of attackers, Shampoo-kun began taking them out easily enough, one per blow. Much to his annoyance, Ukyou was shouting words of encouragement towards the girls, telling them that they should be trying harder to 'score with the stud.' She even went so far as to try to help one of the girls get back up and into the fight. Shampoo-kun made a quick mental note to later explain to Ukyou in excruciating detail what he thought about girls who tried to help his opponents out (ie.: he was going to hit her).

A large number of blows later, he was down to one opponent: a girl he was unfamiliar with. She was tall, wore glasses, and had an odd-looking cylinder strapped to her back. A couple of hoses lead from the cylinder to two nozzles strapped to the back of her wrists.

"I, Nanami Kisho, President of the Science Club, shall defeat you, Ranma Saotome." She struck as dramatic a pose as she could muster with a large cylinder strapped on her back. "I have been analyzing your attack and defense capabilities, and have devised a strategy which will render you insensate, and mine." She decided not to go with an insane cackle. It was just so cliché for a scientist to do that. Besides, a recent cold had left her throat quite sore.

"You go for it, Nanami!" Ukyou waved her spatula high in the air.

Nanami waved an acknowledgment to her cheering section and test fired her weapon, making certain the nozzles were sighted in properly. A gray substance shot out from one of the wrist nozzles and landed on a nearby student's foot.

"Eww," Hiroshi commented as he tried to remove the substance, only to discover his foot was stuck to the ground.

It worked. Nanami gave a little cheer before turning to Shampoo-kun. "Let's get sticky!"

That made the Amazon sweat. He had never had to deal with an attack of an adhesive nature before. Nanami drew closer, and he was still trying to come up with a defense, when Ukyou's laughing caught his attention once more. Maybe some good could come out of the whole situation.

Shampoo-kun dodged the initial spray Nanami fired at him by doing a handspring leap. Nanami continued firing, still trying to get used to aiming the specially designed glue as the bursts came progressively closer to her prey. Once she thought she had Shampoo-kun in her sights, she fired again. Shampoo-kun was prepared as he ducked to the left, leaving Ukyou, who he had landed in front of, to take the full brunt of the blast. The chef was caught so off-guard by the attack that she didn't have a chance to bring her spatula up to block the shot. An instant later she found herself covered head-to-toe with glue.

Her efforts to move were every bit as successful as Hiroshi's had been earlier. She shot an evil glare towards the trio next to her: Ranma-chan, Akane, and Ryouga. "Not a word. Do you hear? Not… a… word."

As hard as she tried, Ranma-chan could not resist giggling at the ludicrous sight. That gained her Ryouga's anger at "making fun of Uk-chan's predicament." Akane fared better as she turned away with only a smile on her face.

The verbal exchange between Ranma-chan and Ryouga came to a halt as the redhead came up with an idea. She pulled the lunch Akane had made for her out of her backpack. "Catch!" she threw it to Shampoo-kun, who caught it even as she dodged yet another blast of glue from Nanami.

The Amazon looked it over for a second, wondering why the Ranma-chan had tossed it to him, when he caught on. He pulled out his own lunch and charged Nanami.

Unused to the nuances of combat, the president of the science club panicked at Shampoo-kun's charge towards her. Shots sprayed wide of Shampoo-kun as he continued running headlong towards the girl. Nanami was just starting to recover her composure, and her aim, when the Amazon jammed the twin boxes in the nozzles of the glue backpack. With the openings effectively plugged up, (and not going anywhere due to the lunches being glued to the openings) the lines leading to the nozzles began to bulge under the pressure of releasing the backpack's payload. Combat was forgotten as Nanami desperately tried to remove her backpack while Shampoo-kun elected to display the better part of valor and put as much distance as he could between him and his opponent. The straps of the backpack were tangled up, leaving Nanami unable to remove her invention in time as both lines ruptured simultaneously, sending streams of gray high into the air. At about ten meters they reached the height of their arc and fell back down to earth, landing on Nanami and covering her entire body with a thick inch of glue.

Akane watched until the end of the fight before turning to Ranma-chan. "Was that—"

"—the lunch you made for me? Yep." Ranma-chan thumped Akane on the back. "Thanks for the lunch. It came in handy today." She walked off, following Shampoo-kun, who had grabbed a wandering Ryouga as he tried to enter the school on his own.

It took Akane a moment to recover from the unusual gesture of gratitude that had come from her fiancé. "Hey! You were supposed to eat it, not use it as a weapon!" She continued yelling as she tried to catch up to Ranma-chan, who had already entered the school. As she made her way inside, she took note that there seemed to be a lot of palm trees in the front of the school today.

With a supreme force of effort, Ukyou pried her now partially glued lips apart. "Damnit! One of you jackasses help me get out of this stuff!" No one heard her as she realized she was now all alone. "Please! Anyone! Even you, Shampoo!" As she finished saying Shampoo's name, Ukyou's lips ended up stuck together again. She cursed silently that someone was going to pay for that indignity. And her initials were Shampoo.

"So, what do you think of your first day of school?"

"It reminds me of the Chinese Hell of Broken Glass, only more painful," Minami told Akane. So far, the first day of Minami's enforced servitude to the state was proving itself about as delightful as the training she had undergone to resist demonic horror auras. That particular torture had entailed being tied to a chair while being forced to listen to 'Reba West: The Heavy Metal Years' albums until she nearly went mad from the mental anguish. On the bright side, she could now confirm that there were worse things than losing your soul to a higher demonic power.

As Minami idly watched Ukyou try to shake a couple of papers free from her still sticky body, she admitted that at least no one had tried to make her wear one of those ridiculous school uniforms yet. This way the world would know she was a ghost sweeper, and a force to be reckoned with. As an added bonus, there was always the possibility that the teachers would be afraid to give her homework as well.

Dreams of being free and hunting down enough demons to make her the top ghost sweeper in the world were cut short as the panicked cry of a crowd of women came from outside the windows of the room. Everyone got out of their seats and rushed to find out what the commotion was about; all except for Ukyou, whose seat remained stuck to her bottom. She was forced to more waddle than walk when she made her way next to Ryouga.

Below, a pack of girls, holding an assortment of brooms, lacrosse sticks, and other instruments of blunt trauma, was chasing a diminutive figure that was dressed in a red gi, wearing a tied-off piece of cloth to cover his face, and carrying a large black sack twice the size of his body. Several bras and panties whose colors sharply contrasted with the black of the bag could easily be seen from the room above.

Ranma-chan wore the angriest expression of those that knew Happosai, but not by much. "I thought we got rid of that creep," she growled. It figured that the little pervert would come back, even after he left his little note about leaving for good after the training trip he took.

Minami's reaction differed somewhat from the others. "A demon!"

As she jumped out the window, casting a spell so that she gently floated down rather than plummet like a rock, she wondered why such an obviously perverted and evil creature failed to give off a more powerful aura of magic. Still, it didn't matter. The diminutive demon would fall before her onslaught.

As light as a feather, Minami landed below the window and directly into the path of the monster. A dull blue glow collected at the tip of her finger, and she began to trace a pattern with it. To the surprise of the others watching the scene, they saw that wherever her finger moved across the air, a distinct blue glow lingered behind. In a matter of moments, there was an intricate symbol hanging vertically in front of Minami, and directly in front of the oncoming Happosai. Everyone stopped to watch the pretty lights, all that was save Happosai, who was too delighted that he was pulling ahead of his pursuers. He looked over his shoulder and promised the pursuing girls he'd be back tomorrow.

While he was still preoccupied, Minami released her spell. The glowing blue symbol gave off a brilliant flash of light, then hurled itself towards Happosai. The magic energy closed the distance far too quickly for him to avoid it. All he had time to do was turn at the last second to see it before it struck him full in the chest.

There was an earsplitting explosion as an accompanying flash of light temporarily blinded everyone. Ranma-chan's eyes were the first to clear as she tried looking at where Happosai had been With all the hope in the world in her voice, she called down to Minami, "Do you think that worked?"

Minami responded by directing a 'V' for victory sign toward Ranma-chan. "Of course it did. When it comes to banishing twisted little demons, there's no one better." She placed a hand to her chin in thought and wondered how many points a minor demonling like that was worth. She was still considering it when Happosai darted from out of the center of the fading glow and glomped himself snugly onto Minami's chest.

"Oh, I like you." Happosai moved his head up and down, enjoying the feel of her silken robe. "Your breasts are so magically comforting."

Minami looked down at the pervert nestled in the middle of her cleavage. She had heard about the horrors of sex demons, but had never crossed paths with one before. But now, all she could do was—

"AHHHH!"

Ranma-chan sighed as Minami ran back and forth in terror, trying to dislodge the pervert from her bosom. "I should have known. He's evil, just not supernaturally so."

An hour later in geography class. Minami was still muttering about how she was going to learn some really nasty techniques, like disintegration, in preparation for the next round with Happosai. Ranma-chan and Ryouga were standing out in the hall with buckets for arguing about who was more annoying to Ukyou and why the other one should stay away from her. Akane was muttering about how stupid Ranma-chan was in picking a fight with Ryouga in the middle of class. Shampoo-kun was happy since geography was one of the handful of subjects he did well in, since only a minimum of Japanese was required. And Ukyou had finally learned to use her pencil to turn the pages of her book instead of trying to use her hand, since each time she grabbed a page it had ended up stuck to her hand and ripped out of the book.

In summation, it was just another typical day at school, at least until the public announcement system rang out:

"All students and teachers, meet in the school auditorium right away."

Curious glances were exchanged, then everyone did as they were instructed. Within moments the halls were filled by the student body as it made its way to its destination. Almost as soon as the students began walking, they noticed something different about the school.

"Who put these busts of some weird-looking guy with a palm tree growing out of the top of his head in the hall?" Ranma-chan asked. When they had first come to school the hallways had looked normal, but now there were a series of busts of the same, smiling man with sunglasses lining both sides of the hallways. Each one looked identical to the others.

"Busts?" Shampoo-kun asked as he looked at the short statues of the heads as well.

"Yeah," Ranma-chan explained. "Those statue thingies you're looking at. Those are called busts."

Shampoo-kun looked in confusion at her. "Shampoo thought bust was another word for breasts." He pointed at Ranma-chan's chest.

Ranma-chan began to squirm a little under the close scrutiny. "Well, yeah. It is."

"Why they call the short statue bust if it stop before it get to bust?"

"Ah, well…" Ranma-chan was trying hard to come up with an answer, when Ukyou swatted Shampoo-kun in the head with a spatula.

"Quit asking dumb questions." She hefted the spatula before her. "We have to get to the auditorium."

Shampoo-kun held his head for a moment, then brought up both fists. "We have time for fight first. Besides. It only take Sh…errr, Ranma about ten seconds to beat stupid spatula girl anyway."

Akane, Ranma-chan and Ryouga were about to interject themselves into the upcoming fight, when cries of, "Look, Ukyou's trying to score a date with Ranma," began to circulate among the crowd of students.

Ukyou backed away from Shampoo-kun and gave a look of embarrassment towards the crowd. "No, I'm not! Besides, he's a pervert anyway. I don't want to date him."

"Ohh, listen to how hard she's protesting. She wants him bad," someone near the back said.

"No, I don't," Ukyou protested again.

Her protest elicited the usual reactions:

"She's blushing."

"She's awfully antagonistic towards him. I think it's just her way of hiding her affections. You know, like a form of denial."

"I bet she enjoyed it when he sliced her top open in that duel they had."

"I think they'd make a cute couple."

"Ranma always suspected stupid spatula girl had the hots for him."

Shampoo-kun's icy comment snapped Ukyou out of her stupor as she suddenly found herself the center of everyone's attention. It took some effort to resist the compulsion to start whacking people in the head with her spatula until they had all shut up. Luckily for her, someone else stepped in.

"BE QUIET!" Minami shouted through a megaphone. As the crowd quieted down, she turned away from the megaphone and whispered to Ukyou, "Don't worry. I'll take care of this nasty little rumor before it gets started."

Ukyou nodded in appreciation for her new friend's effort on her behalf.

Minami pointed the megaphone again at the crowd again. "Now just because Ukyou's always staring at Sh…Ranma's cute little hiney—"

"I do not!" Ukyou protested.

Minami turned away from the megaphone and whispered to Ukyou, "Don't worry about it. It's okay to look at the packaging, just so long as you don't try to open the box. Now let me handle the situation." She gave Ukyou a knowing wink, and was about to use the megaphone again, when she turned back for a second and said, "And you do too look at his bottom."

Before Ukyou could get her second protest off, Minami shouted again. "And just because she has erotic dreams about him—"

"I do not have erotic dreams about him or anyone else!" Ukyou shouted at her.

There was another wink directed at Ukyou, then Minami picked up where she left off. "—doesn't mean she's interested in him. In fact, I can guarantee she's not. Do you want to know why?"

An unanimous "Yes!" rose from the crowd.

"Well I'll tell you why." Minami took a moment for dramatic pause, then said, "It's because she's gay!"

A spatula met the back of Minami's head….hard.

As the ghost sweeper began to pick herself off the ground, she found her effort to go from horizontal to vertical speeded up by Ukyou. "EXACTLY HOW DOES THIS HELP ME?!" She began shaking Minami back and forth like a rag doll.

"Well, you see," Minami explained while holding her head, "since everyone now thinks you're gay, no one will believe you're interested in the boy-type Shampoo anymore. Problem solved." The ghost sweeper gave a wide grin at her own ingenuity.

Shampoo-kun shook his head as Ukyou began choking Minami. "That sound like a plan Ranma come up with," he said.

Ranma-chan nodded in agreement. "Yep. That sounds…HEY! It does not! How can you say that? My plans are…Akane, stop nodding your head too! My plans are not that bad. In fact—"

At that point, much to the surprise of everyone, all of the busts' mouths began moving. There was the slight sound of electronic feedback, as though they were all speaking through microphones. As one voice they said, "Dere's no loiterin' in da halls, my little keiki."

Everyone only had a second to give a startled look at the talking busts before the mouths, remaining open, began to spray out powerful streams of water into the hall, effectively dousing the entire crowd. Like a herd of cattle caught in the middle of a sudden thunderstorm, they created a virtual stampede in an effort to get away from the worst of the sprays. Once they started moving along, the front of the pack discovered (more by accident than by design) a corridor that was clear of any jets of water, despite a series of busts that lined the hallway. Quickly, the mass of humanity hurried down the water-free corridor until they came upon a set of double doors. They burst through the doors, only to discover that they had at last reached their intended destination: the auditorium.

Ranma-chan and her group hurried inside to avoid getting trampled by the rest of the student body. "Let's hurry and grab a seat next to the bleachers."

Shampoo-kun looked them over, then sniffed the air. "Why they call them bleachers if they not smell like bleach?"

A large spatula was brandished menacingly in Shampoo-kun's direction. "Oh no. We are not going through that again. Let's just grab some chairs on the floor."

They followed the suggestion and found a tight cluster of chairs. The majority of the homeroom followed suit and sat in a pattern similar to that of their class. The auditorium filled up quickly. Soon all of the students were on chairs on the floor or the bleachers, while the teachers of the various departments went to the stage and used the set of chairs that was located next to the podium.

"Do you smell coconut?" Akane asked as she sniffed the air.

Ranma-chan sniffed the air and was about to agree when the doors leading to the auditorium burst open. Everyone turned to see the cause of the disruption behind them was the man from the busts; the palm tree growing on the top of his head was the giveaway. Puzzled expressions dominated the auditorium once everyone had a full view of him. The man was nearing his forties and was wearing a garish combination of Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and even sandals that were hard on the eyes. He speeded along, using a skateboard to move quickly and effortlessly, almost like a demon on wheels. Rather than go straight up the aisles and to the stage, he built up some speed and chose to leap in the air with his skateboard over the crowd.

Even with the velocity he had gained it was not sufficient to get over the entire audience with the one leap, so he used Ranma-chan's head as a springboard to continue his jump and landed safely on the other side of the crowd. The moment Ranma-chan recovered she was all for beating the man up, but Akane and Shampoo-kun held her back, preferring to see what was going on before Ranma-chan attacked the newcomer.

The man pulled up to the podium, did a small circle, then stopped. Ranma-chan noted that the teachers appeared just as confused as the students at the eyesore's presence. While everyone was whispering in confusion, the man turned on the microphone at the podium, and without any further fanfare, began to speak.

"Aloha everybody. Today I be introducing you to de new big kahuna around here: me." Principal Kunou allowed that to soak in. He had them off-guard, just the way he liked. It would make what was to come so much easier for him. "Dat's right, my little keiki. I de principal. I wen' leavin' de assistant in charge so I can go to Havai'i on sabbatical. But dat brudda quit because o' some ghost business, so da school board wen' callin' me back. 'You de only man fo' dis job,' dey tell me." Actually, they had said there was no one else on hand that was willing to take the job, but since the end of the journey was the same, what difference did it make in which path was taken? "Lucky for dem, I was already saying to myself, 'Kunou, what could you do to be makin' dem schools back home better?'"

Everyone's ears picked up on the word 'Kunou'. Tatewaki suddenly found himself the center of attention, and reacted accordingly. "It is true, this black mark on the Shooting Star of Furikan High—"

"I thought it was 'Blue Thunder'?" someone mentioned.

"Be silent!" Kunou snapped. He took a moment to compose himself. There was no sense in denying the truth. "Loathe though I am to admit it, this half-mad creature is my own sire."

"So there's three lunatics in the family. Why am I not surprised?" Ranma-chan commented dryly.

The principal continued on his speech. "So, since it's de first day of school, we're goan' right in and institutin' de new rules. All of de little keiki watch real close."

He pointed at two students towards the front of the auditorium, a girl and a boy, and indicated they should come forward. They looked at each other curiously, wondering why they were singled out, then approached the podium. As they climbed the set of steps to the stage, the principal grabbed two wooden chairs and offered them the seats. Both of them accepted and sat down, pointed outwards to the crowd.

The principal's teeth gave off a predatory gleam as he smiled. He moved directly behind the two students. "Now here's what de first rule is bein'." He pulled out a large, poorly-drawn picture of a boy and girl. The boy's head was shaved completely and the girl had a short close-cropped haircut. "Dat's de way it's going to be from now on, my little keiki. Marabouzu style hair cuts for de boys. And Okkapa hair cuts for all de girls. Don't dey look stylish?"

The two students on the stage tried to get up, but the large hands of the principal forced them back down into their seats.

"I don't want to get my haircut," the boy protested. The girl followed in agreement.

"Well, I'm supposin' you might not have to." He held out two coconuts. "In one of dese, dere's a pass to get out of de haircut. If you be pickin' de right one, you doan' have to be gettin' the cut."

The two students looked at each other hesitantly. Seeing no other way out of their predicament, they decided to play the game. The girl picked the one on the left. "How do I open it?"

"You look like de' bright lil' wahine. You figure It out."

The girl smashed the coconut over the principal's head. Once opened, a small slip of paper fell to the ground. The boy picked it up and the two read it aloud.

"You be losin,'" they said as one.

The principal whipped out a set of shears. It was over faster than it had begun as two sets of brown locks gently tumbled to the floor. The two students ran their hands over the scalps where their hair had been a moment before, and upon realizing that it wasn't some horrible nightmare, both burst into tears.

If the principal took notice of their reactions, he gave no indication of it. He returned his attention to the student body and allowed them to admire his handiwork. The students' 'admiration' took the form of cries of denial and protestation at the idea of having their hair sheared off, or nearly all of in the case of the girls.

On the stage, Godai-sensei watched what was happening and decided things had gone far enough. Sucking in a deep breath to calm himself, he got to his feet. For a brief moment he almost reconsidered and sat back down, his courage leaving him as it had so many times during his courtship of his wife. Instead of giving up, he focused on how he had eventually sucked up his courage and won in the end. With his course decided, he cleared his throat to gain the Principal's attention.

"Sir. You are asking too much of the students to just have their hair cut like that," Godai proudly declared.

The Principal took a moment to look him over. "And you are?"

"Yusaku Godai."

The Principal pulled out his shears once again. "It be lookin' to me like you got de nice big head of hair that might need a little trimmin." He clicked the shears together several times.

Godai backed away, holding his hands up in a warding gesture. "No way! My wife likes my hair as is, and so do I!"

A disappointed look crossed the Principal's features. "Well, if you doan' wan' the haircut, then you've got to cuttin' de students' hair instead." He handed Godai an extra pair of shears. "And dis here gorilla costume. It helps to set de mood." He held one out for Godai to look at.

Godai looked at the suit, looked at the shears in his hand, then gave them back to the Principal. "Absolutely not. I refuse to do your dirty work for you."

"Ah, ah, ah." The Principal waved his finger back and forth as though telling a four year old that he was being naughty. "Here's de way it works. If you doan' wanna' help me institute de new rules, then you doan' get to work here. Got it?"

"You mean you'd fire me just because I won't help you cut the students' hair?"

"Ah, I see de college education wasn't wasted on you."

Godai wasn't sure if the man was being sarcastic or not. It was so hard to tell because he was so weird to begin with. Being given the choice of explaining to his wife that he had lost his job, compared to making other students cry like the ones' that the Principal had, was enough to make Godai want to join the bald and near bald students in their weeping. But when it came right down to it, he had no choice at all.

"I can't."

"You'd better be fillin out de new application den, cause you're out of here as of today. Ain't no way dis here Principal's goan be lettin de discipline break down on his shift."

Voices began shouting out in protest, the loudest ones coming from the students of Godai's homeroom. The loudest one of all coming from Ranma-chan.

"You can't fire Godai-sensei, you south seas geek!" Ranma-chan stood on the top of the back of her chair, towering above the rest of the students and commanding their attention. "He might be a pushover and a bit spineless, heck, that's why we like him so much!"

"Hey!" Godai began to protest.

The redhead continued, unabated. "But dammit, he's also a good man, and you can't fire someone like him just because he won't follow your crazy ideas!"

The crowd began to cheer in agreement at Ranma-chan's speech. A chant of "Godai" started to ring out when a loud voice boomed, "QUIET!"

The command effectively silenced the crowd. Students looked in confusion at one another as they realized that the voice had been far too deep to have come from the principal.

"To your left," the voice called out.

Everyone looked to the left. No one was there.

"I meant my left. Sorry."

Everyone looked to the other left and saw him. Nearly seven feet tall and three hundred and fifty pounds, Gompachi Chabane stood before them, an ugly man with oily black hair and a protruding forehead that reminded others of how Neanderthals were usually depicted, except he wasn't wearing a sabre-tooth tiger hide and his hygiene appeared a whole lot better. His clothing was unremarkable, other than being large by necessity. He wore a plain-looking brown suit and short brown cape that only reached halfway down his back. However, even in his plain garb, it was obvious from his size that he was a strong man. An aura of power seemed to emanate from him as he made his way to the stage at the front of the auditorium… by skittering his way across the base of the wall like a bug.

"Wow, two weirdoes in the same day," Ryouga muttered as the huge man stopped skittering and walked up the steps in more ordinary fashion.

As the man arrived next to the Principal, he turned to look at the student body as a whole. "I am your new high school disciplinarian, Gompachi Chabane. I assure you that my credentials are extensive, having enforced the rules in over a dozen of the most violent reform schools in all of Japan, as well as a couple in Luxembourg too. Very nice little country, by the way."

"So what you're saying is, you're a bouncer?" Ranma-chan asked from her perch on top of the back of the chair.

"Professional disciplinarian," Chabane hissed as his eyes narrowed at the one who dared to address him in such a casual manner. "You're that foreign exchange student, Shampoo. I recognize you—"

Ranma-chan smirked as she placed her hands behind her head. "Well, I am a pretty famous gal."

"—from the list of problem students the former assistant principal kept. You were second from the top," Chabane finished. "I have my eye on you and your little band of troublemakers, girl."

The redhead began to growl in response at the accusation, but a tug on her pantleg and a scowl from Akane kept her in check, for the moment.

Chabane turned to Godai. "This is why you can no longer teach here. You lack the ability to keep your students in line. Yours is the class that holds the majority of these delinquents, and it was your duty to enforce discipline upon them. It's plain to see that you have failed miserably. Thanks to your lax nature, it falls to me to enforce the new principal's rules and allow this school to become the learning institution it was meant to be. Everyone will comply with these new conditions, starting with haircuts for all. MUHAHAHA—"

"The hell we will."

Ranma-chan insult was meant to attract the larger man's attention, but even she was startled as Chabane left the stage in a blur and was beside her in little more than two seconds. "So, you've chosen to ignore the warning I gave you. Obviously you are an even worse troublemaker than your file indicated. Too bad. I intend to make an example out of you to show the futility of defiance. Yours will be the next hair to be cut, along with the unacceptably long locks of the boy next to you."

"I'm a girl, you, whatever you are." Ukyou fingered her spatula, resisting the urge to strike the man outright.

That revelation caught Chabane completely off-guard. He looked Ukyou over again, more closely this time. "You mean you're a girl?" She nodded. Chabane appeared even more disgusted than before. "Then not only do you have a serious lack of discipline, but you are a sexual deviant as well."

"That's a lie!" Ryouga shot of his seat and jumped to his feet. "Ukyou's never had sex, deviant or otherwise, before!" He turned to her. "Have you?"

"Of course not!" Ukyou shot back. "And you should know better that to ask that sort of a question about a girl."

"Enough!" Chabane roared. "It's time for all of you to—"

*Poink*

A small object bounced off Chabane's head, leaving a wet substance behind. It dripped down his face and reached his mouth. He ran his tongue over his lips, savoring the taste of the liquid. Pen ink, if he wasn't mistaken. He wiped his hand over his face and examined it closely. The ink from the broken pen Ranma-chan had thrown at him had smeared rather than rub off, forcing him to pull out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and clean himself. Through a face half-coated with blue, he stared the shorter girl straight in the eye. "You dare to challenge me?"

"Guess so." Ranma-chan shrugged nonchalantly.

Ryouga moved next to Ranma-chan. "You can count me in too. No one insults Ukyou and gets away with it."

Akane followed. "What you did to Godai-sensei was wrong. I'm in."

Chabane looked in surprise at her. "But why? Your hair's already perfect."

Akane fumed at that. It was a LinLin enforced cut, and not one by choice. "It's the principle that's involved."

"Count Ranma in too," Shampoo-kun said

The Principal took note of the situation. Yes. He had thought it might come to this, and had a plan that would deal with the whole lot of troublemakers once and for all. He would show them the price of defiance. He cleared his throat. "Looky here, my lil' keiki. Since you be wantin' a challenge, I be more than willin' to fix you up with one. We'll be makin' this into a big-time contest wit' everyone's hair on de line. Since everyone in Mr. Godai's homeroom seems to like him so much, and so many of dose troublemaking keiki are in dere too, they'll be gettin' to represent de school. If any of de students can complete an obstacle course, I be willin' to reinstate Godai and waive makin' everyone at de school cut dere hair. Anyone dat cannot complete the course gets dere haircut, and if no one completes it, den everybody at de school will be gettin' it with their consent. What do you think of that, keiki?"

There was a deathly silence among the crowd. It remained that way, until a girl's voice said, "Ranma will save us. I have faith in him."

Another girl joined in. "Yeah. If anyone can complete the course, it's Ranma."

A chant of "Ranma" broke out among the women, which was eventually, if a bit reluctantly, followed by the men as well, if for no other reason than they accepted the fact having Ranma, Shampoo, and the others champion them was the best bet to avoid having their hair cut.

Chabane made his way back to the principal and slapped a hand on his back. "I have yet to have a single student successfully pass one of my obstacle courses. Their hair is as good as cut. Let's laugh evilly."

The two left the stage together, laughing as evilly as they could, yet failing miserably since there was actually very little that was truly evil about cutting people's hair. Now, if they had clubbed a few baby seals recently, they probably could have gotten away with it, but Chabane was actually something of an animal rights activist, and the only thing the principal enjoyed clubbing were students with pineapples, and even then it wasn't for their pelts. They were forced to make due with a 'mildly unpleasant laugh' as they left to prepare for the upcoming match.

With classes temporarily suspended because of the contest, everyone was out in the athletic field, wishing (and praying) that Ranma and his homeroom would be successful in the contest. Some tried leaving nothing to chance, and wore an assortment of football helmets, deep sea pressure outfits, and even flesh colored plastic caps over their hair to make it appear they were bald, just in case Ranma and company somehow failed.

The field itself had been extensively renovated, with massive palm trees and a fake volcano placed in the middle of the track. South seas island music blared over loudspeakers, and a table with large bowls of poi sat next to the stands for all to enjoy. Other areas of the various athletic fields were also altered, though not all in the same manner. For instance, the field hockey area was now fenced in and there was an odd wooden frame work that was almost a dozen feet high at the far side. All of it was very strange, even for Furinkan.

With a reluctant tread, Godai made his way over to the students that were fighting for his job on his behalf. As he got closer, the others saw him and quieted down. He thought that was ironic since it was something they rarely did when he was in charge of the class.

Godai went to Ranma-chan first. "I know what I should tell you is, 'you shouldn't be risking yourselves for my sake', but the fact of the matter is, I'm going to be in a world of misery if I lose this job. I've got a wife and child to support, and we can't do it on just her income alone. The job market is terrible for teachers now. I don't stand a chance on finding anything outside of running a day care center in a cabaret like I did before. You have to win, for my sake as well as your own."

Ranma-chan began tittering nervously at the prostrated man. "Nothing like adding a little pressure on a guy before a big contest, eh, sensei?"

"Don't worry, sensei." Akane held her fist before her. "We'll win for sure."

"Thank you." He refrained from further commentary. Usually, when things looked like they were going to work out for him, his luck would go south and it would all backfire in his face. No. He was going to mentally make plans on what to do should he be looking for a job at the end of the day.

Eager to get things over with, the entire homeroom made its way to the principal and Chabane, who stood next to each other close by the track. Once the participants had gathered around, the principal began to speak. "All right, my little keiki. Line up on de track."

Slowly, expecting some kind of catch, the group made its way to a long white line nearby.

The principal stood up next to the line of students. "De first contest is going to be de one mile run."

"Heck that's easy," Ranma-chan scoffed, then said to Akane and Shampoo-kun. "Last one across the line is a rotten egg."

"It's got to be done in fifteen minutes," the principal continued.

"No problem." Ranma-chan said. What a ridiculously easy obstacle this was.

"It will be run as a three-legged race."

"What?!"

Sets of leg cuffs, in the shape of pineapples, burst from the ground and locked themselves around the legs of the sets of people closest to each other. Various pairs included: Shampoo-kun and Akane, Ryouga and Ukyou, Ranma-chan and Minami.

Ranma-chan looked in dismay at the leg cuffs, then at his partner. "This is gonna be impossible."

Chabane fired a starter pistol into the air. After the reality of the situation finally set in for the shackled couples, they began to run. The scene was a debacle at first with nearly everyone stumbling and falling. After a minute or so of the mass confusion, some of the pairs began to get the hang of the unusual race and built up a rhythm. Akane and Shampoo-kun took the lead, followed by Ryouga and Ukyou, and several others. Akane and Shampoo-kun felt proud of the steady pace they set as they continually picked up speed and ran faster, moving more closely in synchronicity by the second.

"Looks like we're going to come in first," Akane said.

"Is no surprise. We just too, too good." Shampoo-kun smirked. "There no way Ranma can beat us."

"Yep." Akane nodded in agreement. Now Ranma-chan would see who the rotten egg was.

Just as they completed the first quarter of the track, they found themselves overtaken by, of all people, Hiroshi and Daisuke.

Akane looked in surprise, wondering how two guys in such obvious mediocre shape could be passing two superior martial artist. "How come you guys are moving so fast?"

"I guess it's just because we do everything together," Hiroshi (or was it Daisuke) said. Akane wasn't sure since it was hard to tell them apart. Not that they looked alike, it was just that, as they said, they were always together and were generally referred to as a matching set. Sort of like bookends.

At the end of the pack, Ranma-chan and Minami fell down again, for the fifth time in one hundred feet. "I can't believe you are this slow," Ranma-chan spat at her partner. "I can't even carry you because our legs are attached."

"It's not like being a ghost sweeper requires a lot of physical activity!" Minami shot back. "Let's see you try to destroy a demon with that useless martial arts crap you're always doing!"

"Well your hot stuff magic ain't doing us any good. If you don't learn to pick up the pace, we're going to get our hair cut off."

The reality of the situation began to set in for Minami. "I don't want to have my hair cut. You have to do something, Ranma. Figure out some dumb martial arts technique to make us go faster."

It was unfortunate, Ranma-chan thought, that the chain linking them wasn't longer and he didn't have a big wooden paddle. He could have bounced Minami up in the air like a giant paddleball and traveled with her that way.

They fell down again. Minami began to give up hope when she felt a pair of arms lift her up from behind and pick her up. Surprisingly, she saw that the same thing had happened to her partner and that they were both being hurried forward at the same pace. She turned her head far enough to see it was either Hiroshi or Daisuke that had picked her up, and that it was either Daisuke or Hiroshi that had picked Ranma-chan up. Apparently they had made such good time that they had already completed a lap of the quarter mile long track and had been prepared to pass them up.

"What do you guys think you're doing?!" Ranma-chan snapped as she found herself being carried by under her armpits. It was so undignified. The only consolation was that he was keeping his hands to himself.

"We couldn't let two attractive girls like you have your hair cut off, isn't that right?" Hiroshi asked.

"You bet," Daisuke answered as he carried Minami along.

"We don't need your help! Put me dow—" The rest of Ranma-chan's diatribe was cut off as Minami used one of her free hands to slap a ward over the redhead's mouth, magically sealing it.

"Thanks for saving us," Minami gushed at Daisuke. There was a muffled complaint from Ranma-chan. Minami glared at her. "If these guys don't carry us, we're never going to complete the race. If that happens, I'll have my hair cut in the shape of a bowl. If that happens, I will take it out on you. When I say I'll make your life hell, that isn't a figure of speech. Got it?" The light gleamed off Minami's glasses, giving a crazed look to her face.

Ranma-chan glared in response, though she did stop struggling. It wasn't the threat of Minami that quieted her, it was the picture of herself with the haircut Minami had described. Letting Hiroshi carry her was the easiest way to avoid the haircut, that was all.

"Cheater!" Akane shouted as the now quartet of Hiroshi, Daisuke, Ranma-chan, and Minami passed them.

Ranma-chan pulled at her lower eyelid and would have stuck out her tongue at the duo they were passing, if her mouth hadn't been taped shut.

The quartet finished first, along with Akane and Shampoo-kun a distant second, Ukyou and Ryouga third, and a handful of others. Much to their dismay, three quarters of the class failed to complete the course in time and ended up with their hair cut, just as the principal had threatened.

Feeling elated at their success, even with losing so many of their classmates, the group moved on to the next obstacle: the school's Olympic length swimming pool. Aside from the tons of sand placed around it and several volleyball nets set up to make it look like a beach, it was unaltered.

Principal Kunou spoke again. "All de remaining keiki will have to get across to de other side of the pool."

"We ain't supposed to do it with lead weights wrapped on us or anything?" Ranma-chan asked.

Chabane answered for the principal. "No."

Akane looked hesitantly at the pool. "I can't swim," she said to Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan nodded her head. She remembered Nabiki mentioning that once. "Don't feel too bad. Ryouga can't either."

Ryouga looked at her in confusion. "Yes I can."

"No. You can't." Ranma-chan began making bat noises until Ryouga glowered in understanding.

"If you doan' wanna be swimmin in de pool, you can get your hair cut now." Sunlight glinted off the shears the principal brandished.

"I've got an idea." Minami made her way next to Ryouga. She laid her left hand gently on his shoulder. With her right, she began making an intricate pattern of gestures and murmured arcane phrases that resembled no known tongue. Within a few moments, Ryouga's feet lifted off the ground and he began hovering in mid-air

"I'm flying." Instinctively, Ryouga began flapping his arms before remembering he was in human form.

"You are levitating," Minami corrected. "There's a big difference. All you can do is float, not move on your own. Now pick up Akane."

Ryouga did so, and was met with a, "Watch the hands, bloodsucker" warning from Ranma-chan. Ukyou was little better with her own warning of "Watch what you're holding onto," directed towards Akane.

Minami cast another spell, far less intricate and time consuming. She touched the bottom of her feet. "Now I can walk on water and drag you across." She grabbed the floating Ryouga by the hand, who, in spite of carrying the additional burden of Akane, was still as light as air.

After making certain Akane was all right with traveling in Ryouga's arms, Ranma-chan pondered the cold depths of the pool. Turning to Shampoo-kun, she said, "Times like this I don't mind being a girl in school." Shampoo-kun nodded his head in agreement.

Again Chabane fired his starter pistol. As one the class jumped into the pool and started swimming across. All save Minami, who ran across the water as thought it was a normal walkway and caused nothing more than the faintest of ripples where her feet made contact with the water. Being able to run where the others could only swim, she quickly finished the contest by arriving at the other side of the pool.

The spell on Ryouga wore off almost the instant he made it to the other side. He gently set Akane back on the ground. As he did so, he looked into the water and noticed some darkened shapes that seemed to be at his end of the unbelievably deep pool. He bent down to get a closer look. "I wonder what those are?" he said to Akane as he pointed at the objects below.

Akane felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She looked to Chabane, who seemed to be taking particular relish in the obstacles. "Don't tell me they're sharks."

"Of course not," Chabane scoffed. "I'm not that stupid."

Akane breathed a sigh of relief.

"A shark could, at most, eat two students, and the pool isn't big enough to hold more than three. Piranha can eat far more and they pack much more tightly."

Akane cupped her mouth and shouted at the approaching swimmers. "Ranma, watch out! Piranha in the pool!"

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun had been swimming ahead of the rest of the students and were the first to see the onrushing school of piranha. Shampoo-kun gave a panicked look towards Ranma-chan. "What do we do?"

"Concede defeat and I'll call dem off!" the principal shouted from the far side of the pool.

"No way." Ranma-chan shot back. Defeat wasn't a word that she understood. Amaguriken, on the other hand, was a word she understood very well. It was also a word she said to Shampoo-kun.

The cursed Amazon nodded in understanding. They both unleashed the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken, grabbing the fish before they could bite. As each one closed their hands on a fish, they threw the offending seafood out of the pool, then grabbed another and repeated the process.

Tatewaki Kunou watched as volley of flying fish came towards him. He considered what that meant and came up with the obvious conclusion. "My love sends me food from the gods. No doubt she desires a fish fry. A splendid idea."

His bokken was a blur as it stabbed in the air, impaling several of the piranhas with the weapon. Other students began setting up a fire and roasting the fish on a makeshift spit.

Principal Kunou found tears filling his eyes. At last, his little Tachi understood. "Now you're getting into da spirit of things." He broke out a ukulele and started playing a series of Don Ho songs.

Within moments the entire school of piranha were thrown out and the rest of the way was clear. The entire class made it to the far side of the pool without further incident.

"Move on to de next obstacle," Principal Kunou said through the cooked fish he was chewing on.

"They won't pass this one," Chabane promised as he chewed on some raw fish. The tail stuck out of his mouth as he ate it, bones and all.

The next obstacle was the field hockey area, completely enclosed by a thick wooden fence. A gate was opened and the remaining students entered the field, uncertain of what was to come next. From where they stood, they could see an opening at the far side, identical to the one that they had just come through. Between the two open gates was a large wooden building with a gate in front of it, though nothing could be seen inside. The gate closed behind them as they entered the field.

Ranma-chan hated to do it, but someone had to ask, even though she knew she would hate the answer. "What's the challenge this time?"

From his position behind the fence, Chabane considered that. "This may not be a challenge for you. How fast can you make it across this field at top speed?"

Ranma-chan looked across the field and gauged the distance. "About eighteen seconds."

"Too bad. The bull can make it in twelve."

The door to the wooden structure slowly creaked open. The students only had to wait a moment before a huge bull, weighing at least two tons and wearing a lei, charged out of what was now obviously a stall. It gave a bellow of rage and took all of one second to look around before it found its targets. In a flash the brown blur headed directly towards them.

The group tried to scatter, but the bull proved too fast as it charged up behind the slowest of the running students, lifted its head up under their rear ends, then tossed them up one at a time into the air and out of the fenced-in area to the place it had been trained to: the barber chair the principal had set up outside the course. As each student landed in a chair, the principal gave them the appropriate haircut and waved them on in anticipation for the next student.

One by one, the students fell, until there were only six left. Ranma-chan, Shampoo-kun, Akane, Minami, Ukyou and Ryouga. After Ranma-chan leaped over the bull on an abortive charge, it switched targets and headed towards Ryouga. Rather than running, Ryouga held his ground and slowly pulled out his bamboo umbrella. He took his time, lining up the bull even as it, in turn, lined him up for the big hit.

The two met, skull impacting with umbrella in a thundering collision. The bull was surprised to discover its forward momentum completely halted. Confusion soon followed as it wondered why it had stopped and why the person it had tried to run over was still standing there as though nothing had happened.

Ryouga had braced himself firmly for the oncoming charge. Much to his own surprise, the bull had not hit with as much force as he had thought it would, and he had easily been able to take the hit with no damage to himself. Now, with the bull's forward momentum at a complete halt despite the fact the animal was still pushing forward, he switched his center of gravity and allowed the animal forward just enough to plant the umbrella directly underneath the bull's chest. Straining as hard as he could, he lifted the animal up by the umbrella and sent him flying away. Ryouga's throw was on target as the bull landed in the barber's chair. The principal considered what to do for only a moment before cutting the bull's hair too.

Chabane scowled at the remaining six students. He had been certain no one would make it past the bull, not even the loud-mouthed redhead. But he had been proven wrong. There was no real need for concern, He was not without remaining plans. They would still fall, oh yes. The next hurdle would be sure to defeat them. Then discipline would be maintained at long last.

The group began their trip to the next obstacle, located at the farthest ends of the school's ground itself. As they made their way through some trees, the obstacle came into view a couple hundred yards away. It was located on the other side of a wooden fortress, a recent structure that had been constructed overnight. The sides were high, at least twenty feet, and sharpened at the top. As strong as the walls appeared, even they failed to prevent the foul odor that floated from the fortress. From their position on the ground, the group could see nothing as to what might have been inside. Ranma-chan considered racing ahead to try to see what was coming up, but reconsidered. She didn't want to leave the others alone, and no matter what the obstacle was, they would conquer it like they had the others.

Minami began to pull into the lead, walking along without the least bit of precaution. Akane noticed it and warned, "You should slow down."

Minami kept on walking forward, but turned far enough to look at Akane from over her shoulder. "Yeah, right. I'm a ghost sweeper. Nothing can stop me."

Nothing took the form of a giant pit that was camouflaged with a cover of leaves. Caught completely off-guard, Minami fell in. Using her considerable ghost-sweeping agility, she broke her fall by landing solidly on her head. The others rushed to the side of the pit and looked down to see Minami lying prone of the bottom. The soft rise and fall of her chest, along with a hefty amount of groaning in pain, told them she was all right. Shampoo-kun jumped down, grabbed her, then jumped back up. Seeing that Minami was indeed unconscious, they were forced to leave her with the principal.

Principal Kunou rubbed his hands together in anticipation. Just five more to go, then a whole school to cut. It was like being in heaven. He leaned over her unconscious form and brought his shears up. The instant they met her locks, a magical shock ripped through him, stunning him into unconsciousness. The discharge caused Minami's eyes to flutter open. It took her a second to realize what had happened. It was a good thing she had thought to cast that magical defense field when the bull had been running around. She might have been out of the contest, but there was no way she was going to sacrifice a single hair to the madman in charge of the school.

The remaining members of the group continued on, making certain to avoid any other traps that might have been in their path. Their concerns were for nothing as they arrived at the wooden wall without further incident. The moment they stepped before the two massive doors, they parted on their own, swinging inward with a loud groan and allowing the others to see what was within. A huge trench stretched across the center of the fortress, fifty feet long and at least twenty feet wide. A metal pole, about six inches wide and rounded, stretched across from the side the group was on to the other. Looking down into the trench, all could see that it was filled with a black substance that was quickly identified from the smell.

"Where the hell did they get a tar pit?" Ukyou asked.

"Who cares?" Ranma-chan said, figuring out what the goal was in an instant. She approached the pole that stretched across the trench. It was six inches wide. With her sense of balance, it was going to be as easy as walking a fence.

A mistake. The instant she stepped onto the pole, she slipped on a clear, slick substance that was spread across the metal. She did an acrobatic somersault in mid-air, landing on her crotch and straddling the pole.

"Times like this I'm REALLY glad I am not a guy," Ranma-chan said. As the last word left her mouth, she started to slide off the pole, threatening to fall into the tar-filled trench below.

Akane was the first to react to the dilemma. She stretched out as far as she could while keeping both feet planted on the ground. Shampoo-kun grabbed onto the back of her outfit, allowing her to stretch out just a little bit farther. "Grab on!"

Ranma-chan did as she was bade, their fingertips brushing against one another. Stretching out just a little bit farther, the two clasped hands more firmly and Akane pulled the redhead back from the pole and onto dry land. Ranma-chan brushed off her pants as best as she could. The sticky substance had dampened her pants and made her uncomfortable. Still, there was little she could do about it at the moment. "Those poles are greased. No way we can walk across."

Ukyou noted that although they had encircled the entire area with the miniature fort, there was also a series of ever present palm trees as well, both on the side they were currently on and the other across the pit. That Hawaiian fetish was going to prove to be the principal's undoing, Ukyou thought to herself. From within the confines of her outfit she pulled out a can of extra-resilient noodles, similar to the ones she had used against Shampoo-kun in their initial challenge match. With a flick of her wrist they wrapped themselves around the tree on the other side. The other end was quickly wrapped around a tree on her side, forming an effective guidewire to be used over the crossing pole.

"Nice work," Ryouga commented. Ranma-chan was the first to take the lead as she set off across the pole. Seeing her use the guidewire successfully, the others followed suit and made their way over as well. As the last one stepped onto the other side, another tall set of wooden doors opened. Relieved, they made their way out of the fortress as quickly as they could. Waiting for them, alone, was Gampachi Chabane. No one else, not even the principal, was in sight.

Ranma-chan crossed her arms defiantly. "So, any more stupid obstacles, or are you ready to admit we can take anything you throw at us?"

The slightest of smiles was just barely noticeable on Chabane's face. "There's just one left. The most dangerous of all. The one obstacle you cannot hope to pass."

"What is it?"

The smile grew. "Me."

Chabane flexed his massive arms, posing in an attacking stance in an attempt to intimidate his opponents. The others simply drew what weapons they had, if any, and smiled as one.

Akane began, "Let me get this straight. You—"

"—want us to beat you up and we no—"

"—get into trouble? The only challenge I—"

"—see is you staying conscious long enough for me to—"

"—feel like I'm satisfied. And I don't think that's gonna' happen," Ranma-chan finished.

And for the briefest of moments, Chabane almost reconsidered his actions. True, as a unit they were formidable, but he was the next step in genetic evolution, and they had just been through one of his obstacle courses and were exhausted. Even at their peak they would be hard pressed to fight him. Tired, they didn't stand a chance.

"You're all—"

The rest of his opening speech was cut off as Shampoo-kun breached 'standard opening rant' etiquette and attacked before Chabane had finished boasting. The opening punch was blocked by Chabane. However, defending against that blow had left him open so that he that took a hard front kick to the gut courtesy of Akane. While he was dealing with the frontal assaults, Ranma-chan maneuvered behind him and gave a tremendous leap kick into the back of the head.

Ryouga took his turn and lowered his shoulder, charging as hard as the bull had earlier, and drove Chabane into the wall of the school. The bricks formed a slight indentation as they buckled from the impact. Ukyou finished things up by throwing a dozen mini-spatulas at her foe. Each one was on target as they pinned his clothes to the wall behind him.

"That was easy." Ranma-chan didn't feel the least bit satisfied in disposing of the much-vaunted disciplinarian.

"Yes, it was." Chabane agreed as he tore away from the wall effortlessly, shredding a good portion of his pinned clothing in the process.

It was the others' turn to be caught off-guard as Chabane showed no effects of the beating he had taken moments before. A solid blow from his meaty fist was powerful enough to send Ranma-chan into Akane, knocking both of them both down. What advantage he had courtesy of surprise was lost as Ukyou recovered and planted her spatula on the top of his head, full force, leaving it where it had hit. He slowly turned to her, appearing more irritated than anything else.

"Uh oh," Ukyou got out as she received a solid backhand from Chabane.

Seeing Ukyou driven backward was more than Ryouga could take. His temper snapped as he moved in with his umbrella, swinging it with all of his strength. Chabane blocked the high blow with his forearm, grunting slightly from the contact. The high block once again left himself open, this time for Shampoo-kun. He planted a bonbori into Chabane's ribs, bringing the big man's blocking arm down in a hurry. Seeing a golden opportunity, both launched a flurry of attacks with their weapons, hitting more often than not, causing Chabane to back up. All he had going in his favor was that he managed to maintain his footing in spite of the high powered assault.

Despite his outward poise, Chabane became worried. The attacks were adding up and there was too much force for even his armor-like skin to take all at once. They were more powerful than even he had imagined, and for the first time in his life, it appeared that Gompachi Chabane, the world's foremost disciplinarian, would go down in defeat. Unless he placed some distance between himself and his attackers, and quickly.

He took two more hard blows from both Shampoo-kun and Ryouga, then rolled forward and out of their reach. Springing back up to his feet, he clutched onto the wall of the nearby school and skittered up it, again reminiscent of a bug, and made his way to the top and out of sight.

It took a moment for the five figures to jump up to the top and look for their mutually hated opponent. Their thoughts were as one as they mutually wanted to beat on Chabane some more for the mess he and the principal had caused. All of them were disappointed that upon reaching the top, they saw there was no one in sight.

"Where he get to?" Shampoo-kun asked.

"Can't be sure." Ranma-chan looked in every direction for some clue as to Chabane's whereabouts, but there was nothing. "Let's split up."

"We'll go this way," Ukyou said, grabbing onto Ryouga's hand and making him follow her. Ryouga was surprised, but also deliriously happy. A girl was holding his hand. The last time that had happened was two weeks ago. The girl was six and helping him get across the street after he gotten lost trying to find Ukyou's restaurant again.

Ranma-chan looked to Akane. "Guess you're coming with me."

"Why?" Akane asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Well somebody's got to protect you."

So that was it. "I can take care of myself, thank you." Akane shot him an icy glare.

"Don't be that way. It's just you aren't as good as me and it's not like you can handle that guy by yourself. Right, Shampoo?" She turned her head in the hopes of receiving some support in stating the obvious. Instead, what she got was Shampoo-kun leaping away without a word. "Now why didn't she stick around? It's not like she can handle him alone either."

"I'm going this way," Akane pointed in the direction opposite Shampoo-kun had gone. "You go ahead and follow Shampoo. She might actually need your help." Akane stomped off without another word.

Ranma-chan looked helplessly in the direction Akane was going in. Shampoo-kun was already out of sight, and the Amazon could move fast when he wanted to. He decided to follow Akane, who was still in sight. Besides, Shampoo-kun was still better than Akane and wouldn't need her protection quite as much. With that decided, she hurried to catch up to Akane, worry about Shampoo-kun tugging at the back of his mind.

Ukyou and Ryouga had made their way back to ground level and to the pool that had formerly held the piranha. Everybody had since departed the area, leaving the two of them alone.

"Are you sure you saw him around here?" Ryouga asked.

"I could have sworn I saw him dart around that corner to here." There was only one place Ukyou thought he might be hiding in. She plunged her spatula into a big pile of sand. It went right through without hitting an obstruction.

As they continued to search the sand, the pool suddenly exploded, hurling water everywhere as Chabane burst from it. The little fools had underestimated his ability to hold his breath underwater. He could stay down for hours if he had to.

The ambush worked out even better than he had hoped, he noted as he landed. Apparently the Hibiki boy had fled; he was nowhere in sight, although Chabane could have sworn he had heard the boy near the Kuonji boy…err sexually deviant girl. Now he found himself only confronted with her. It was going to be easy.

He suffered a single blow from her spatula and retaliated with a fist of right into her temple. That single, solid blow was powerful enough to render her unconscious. Ukyou's body slumped to the ground, as though she had been a marionette whose strings had been cut. Curiously, a bat began flying around Chabane's head

"What thOOF!" Chabane gave off a grunt as Akane, who had heard the sounds of battle, rushed to it. Upon seeing the large disciplinarian, she kicked him solidly in the gut.

Ranma-chan ran to catch up. Akane had ignored the sounds of protest the redhead had given when Akane rushed off first, complaining about how she couldn't handle Chabane alone. She'd show her fiancé. The youngest of the Tendou daughters shut out the distraction as she concentrated on the man in front of her. She ducked under Chabane's counter-strike and went for the knockout blow.

"Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken!" She managed to land a hundred punches into his chest in less than a second. Satisfied it was enough, she paused briefly to admire her handiwork. She watched as Chabane grimaced from the effect of the blows, teetered for a second, then recovered once again as though nothing had happened. This time Akane was too slow and was hit with a solid blow to her jaw, catching the full force of the punch. A second blow ended up in her stomach that sent her flying backwards.

Seeing Akane was completely limp as she sailed through the air, Ranma-chan leaped, hoping she could get under Akane and cushion the landing. She barely made it as her fiancee slammed into her, Akane's head catching Ranma-chan full in the stomach and winding the smaller girl for a moment.

Even as she was gasping for air, Ranma-chan managed to halfway pry herself out from under Akane when Chabane arrived. He finished the job by pulling Akane the rest of the way off Ranma-chan, stopping a slow punch from the redhead with a huge hand that engulfed hers completely. Holding on despite Ranma-chan's best efforts at removing her limb, he pulled her into his grasp and began squeezing, applying a tremendous amount of pressure into her lower back area. Air left Ranma-chan's lungs and there was no leverage to be had as she struggled futily in his grasp. As she began to black out, she wondered if even Ryouga was as powerful as her opponent.

Complete victory was at hand for Gompachi Chabane. Soon the obnoxious foreign student would fall before his power, then the iron hold of discipline would at last be in place, never to be relinquished again. All would have fallen before his obstacles and might. There were none that could withstand him. None. Except for the black-haired boy that hurled himself onto Chabane's back.

Chabane kept his hold on Ranma-chan and looked over his shoulder. He knew he had forgotten someone. It was the biggest troublemaker of them all. The one that started a riot every morning, somehow enticing all of the virtuous girls at the school into performing acts of violence that even the lowest sort of tramps would hesitate to engage in. He single-handedly turned each morning, when students should have been preparing themselves for the upcoming school day, into a backyard brawl. Along with the Chinese girl, Chabane would see to it neither of them would ever threaten the peace of the school again

Much to Chabane's surprise, rather than attacking him directly, Shampoo-kun grabbed at his arms and pulled back, trying to force him to break the hold he had on the Ranma-chan. Perhaps he should not have been surprised; troublemakers tended to hang around one another. "Fool! My hold is unbreakable. You will never be able to free your friend."

Had Shampoo-kun possessed his true female form, Chabane would have been right. But as a male, the Amazon's already impressive strength was increased so that it fell somewhere slightly under Ryouga's own level of power. Using every ounce of force he could muster, Shampoo-kun somehow succeeded in prying Chabane's arms just far enough apart to allow Ranma-chan to fall out of his grasp and slump to the ground, where she gasped and tried to regain some of the air that had been forced out of her lungs.

Chabane growled at the inconvenience. Now it was going to take a little longer to defeat the remaining students. Rather than trying to dislodge Shampoo-kun from his position on Chabane's back, the disciplinarian ran backwards towards the school. Using all of his strength he drove himself, and subsequently his passenger, into it with enough force to shatter bricks and mortar into pieces. Effectively caught between the hammer of Chabane's armor-like body and the anvil of the wall, Shampoo-kun felt the tremendous force of the impact make him release his hold and drive him into unconsciousness.

Ranma-chan regained her feet and watched as Chabane pried himself out of the wreckage of the wall. From where she stood, she could see two of Shampoo-kun's legs sticking out among the debris, unmoving. She afforded another glance towards Akane's fallen body, then turned to Chabane. Her hands trembled in fury as she looked him straight in the eye. "You've gone too far."

To Chabane's surprise, Ranma-chan left the field of battle and leaped up onto the roof of the school. Uncertain of what his opponent was up to, and largely uncaring, he skittered up the wall and followed.

He saw her standing in the center, obviously waiting for him. "Give it up. All of your friends have fallen. You cannot win." Chabane flexed again, hoping to have better results this time in intimidating his opponent.

The look of anger was still on Ranma-chan's face, but she spoke rather than attack. "Look, I'll make a deal with you. If I can beat you, then you have to quit as school disciplinarian."

"Me? Defeated by a little slip of a girl like you?" Chabane laughed, then turned serious. "I accept these terms. On the condition that from now on you have to obey all of the rules of the school without complaint."

"Deal." The discussion had ended. The battle began as Ranma-chan launched a flurry of attacks. Her superior speed served her well, as she avoided all of Chabane's blows while landing dozens of her own. Much to her dismay, her own punches and kicks had little in the way of effect due to the man's armor-like skin which made him even more resistant to punishment than Ryouga.

It was time to change tactics. She waited until Chabane's frustration began to show. He wasn't at the frothing at the mouth stage yet —apparently the man could control his temper better than Ryouga too— but he was angry. A leap backward positioned herself at the edge of the rooftop and a tongue wagging taunt towards the big man followed.

As Ranma-chan had hoped, Chabane's frustration had finally gotten to him. He charged forward and tried to grab onto Ranma-chan again. All it would take was one more solid hold and he would defeat the annoying girl who had managed to get the top spot on his own 'most hated list.' He was going to cut her hair personally, and do a really bad job of it too.

As Chabane lunged forward, Ranma-chan jumped over his head and allowed him to go past unimpeded. Too late, Chabane realized his mistake as he went over the edge and took a three story plunge, landing hard on the concrete below. Not content to leave things as they were, Ranma-chan jumped off as well, landing feet first into Chabane's gut and hearing the pleasant sound of the wind being driven from his lungs.

Ranma-chan gave a satisfied look at the man's unmoving form. "Nothing human could have taken that."

Taking that as a cue, Chabane slowly pried himself out of the concrete, leaving a disciplinarian shaped hole in the ground. He brushed the dirt off his torn clothing and stood before Ranma-chan once more. She managed nothing more than to look at him in shock.

"So, you have guessed my secret." Chabane had a serious look on his face. "I am not human, at least, not entirely. I am the result of a genetic experiment to bond the genes of a cockroach with those of a normal human being. A success, I might add. I am far beyond anything merely human. My skin is hard, like that of a cockroach. I have greater than human strength. I can even crawl across tall buildings and absorb radiation like it was nothing. I can eat anything. I am indestructible. That is why I am the ultimate teacher." He posed dramatically for Ranma-chan's benefit. Surely the girl would bow to his obvious genetic superiority now.

Ranma-chan responded with a sweatdrop. "You mean to tell me that all this time I've been fighting a cockroach?"

Chabane began to wonder if she was stupid as well. He had explained it the details of his origin clearly. "No. A human with cockroach genes."

That explanation caused her to hop up and down in anger. "This is the most stupid fight I have ever been in! Ever!" Why did she have to waste her time like this? There were lots of more important things to do than bother with giant insects with delusions of grandeur.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Chabane felt his anger grow at the girl's continued defiance.

Ranma-chan stopped hopping. "That if I had a can of Raid, this would be all over."

"You should cower before your genetic superior, fool! Give up!"

That snapped Ranma-chan out of her anger. She turned a baleful glare towards 'the bug'. "You hurt my friends. You and that stupid principal fire a good man. You threaten an entire school, and you expect me to give up? Roach-face you don't know me at all." Ranma-chan gave Chabane a smile. She had an idea. She knew what to do about annoying cockroaches. "Hey, bug! You know what I like the most about roaches?"

"What?" Chabane asked.

"The squishy sound they make when someone steps on them."

Chabane began to tremble in fury. "You take that back right now!"

Ranma-chan responded by sticking out her tongue and running for the theater auditorium. The mix of taunting and running served its purpose as Chabane was hot on her heels an in instant. Ranma-chan made sure he was still following when she ran backstage, grabbed a knife that was to be used in the stage production of 'The Lion King', and looked for the big 'X' the Director always left in the middle of the stage. It was there, as she hoped, and she stood on the far side of it as she waited for Chabane to approach.

Chabane saw that she had stopped fleeing and slowed down as well. Menacingly, he approached his foe. What was the girl thinking? "That little dagger can't hurt me."

Ranma-chan twirled the knife between her fingertips, the stage lights glinting off the blade. "You'd be amazed at what a little something like this can do."

She threw the knife into the air, severing the rope that held the twenty foot boot that hung above the stage. Chabane had just enough time to look up and see the Nike symbol on the bottom of the sole before it smashed him flat.

"Nothing like crushing a bug with a shoe." Ranma-chan looked smugly at the boot.

Just as she was about to leave and check on the others, the boot was slowly raised up into the air. Ranma-chan turned to see that Chabane held it high above his head, then tried to return the favor Ranma-chan had given by throwing the boot at her.

She avoided the blow and ran outside the building with Chabane in hot pursuit. Things were getting bad and she was wondering what it would take to finally put the big man down. She and the others had hit him hundreds of times, yet he kept getting back up and giving back what he had received. The pressure was mounting, and Ranma-chan began to worry when one last idea occurred to her.

Picking up speed, she ran halfway around the school and raced through the doors leading to the wooden fortress, and the next to last obstacle to Chabane. Stopping at the edge of the tar pit, she waited for her opponent to catch up. Once he rushed through the doors and spotted his opponent, Ranma-chan shouted, "You know, now that I think about it, a couple of antennae sticking out of your head could only improve your looks."

With a loud, "AHHHHHH!" Chabane charged Ranma-chan. Nothing less than blood was going to suffice now. Anger clouded his judgment as Chabane gave his mightiest leap kick yet, intent on knocking his opponent's face off. Ranma-chan stayed in the path of the kick until the last second, then stepped aside and allowed the disciplinarian to fall into the tar pit of his own creation.

Finding himself in mid-air, Chabane waved his hands and tried to fly, only to realize that that was one thing cockroaches couldn't do. Upon landing in the tar, he immediately sank up to his waist in the black gooey substance.

Chabane waved his fist in the air. "Just wait until I get out." The threat proved hollow, as every move he made ended up making him sink further in the tar.

"Can't muscle your way out, can you?" Ranma-chan taunted from the edge of the tar pit. "You're going to end up like a dinosaur unless you give up."

As much as Chabane hated to admit it, he had to concede. Pragmatism won out over pride. Disciplining students from the bottom of a tar pit would stretch even his abilities too far. He gave up.

Ranma-chan sent a rope down his way. After being helped up, the large man examined Ranma-chan more closely. "I am a man who keeps his word. Everyone gets to keep their hair. Mr. Godai will be rehired. I'll give up my job as Furinkan's high school disciplinarian. And I'll win a Nobel Peace Prize."

"I didn't make you promise the last one," Ranma-chan pointed out.

"Oh, right." There was nothing more to be said. At last, the greatest disciplinarian in the world, Gompachi Chabane gave a sorrowful look at the site of his first, and only failure. Turning on his heel, he headed off into the orange and red sunset as the fingers of golden light retreated behind the horizon, seeking the lands beyond to bathe them in one last fiery glow before allowing dusk to fall and the world to eventually fall into a deep slumber.

"Oops. I'd better let the others know I won before Pineapple Head tries to cut their hair." Ranma-chan hurried to see where his comrades had fallen, and hoped he could get to them before the principal could. Akane was safe with her current hair style, but Shampoo-kun would never forgive him if he got shaved bald. Besides, Ranma-chan didn't think the Buddhist monk look would good on the Amazon.

Epilogue

"That was too, too close," Shampoo-kun said quietly as he and the others stood in line, waiting for gym to begin. The celebration that was held the day before for Ranma-chan and company's triumph over Chabane and Principal Kunou had lasted the rest of the day. Unfortunately, no one had thought to mention that the 'Hawaiian Punch' was loaded with rum, and that the majority of the school had ended up completely inebriated and was now suffering the effects of a schoolwide hangover. No one had even accosted Shampoo-kun for a date in the morning.

"Yeah," Akane sighed. On the bright side, she was now no longer the only girl in the class with really short hair, since everyone that had fallen before Minami had received the principal's special cuts. But their hair would grow back, in time. And she had a head start too.

The doors to the gym opened and all eyes turned that way.

Ryouga's eyes bulged. "I don't believe it."

"It can't be!" Ukyou protested, then immediately regretted it as a sharp pain lanced through her head from the loud noise she had made.

"Hey! You said you'd quit if I beat you!" Ranma-chan pointed out to the new figure: Gompachi Chabane.

Chabane held up a finger. "No. I agreed to resign as head disciplinarian, and I have. I am now the head of the athletic department. As such, you will no longer be able to slack off as you have been in this class. I shall drive your bodies into physical perfection, or kill you trying. Now, everyone give me a hundred laps! And after that, drop and give me two hundred sit ups!"

"I think I preferred the obstacle course," Ranma-chan groaned as she began to run.

Gampachi continued, speaking over the series of groans and lamentations of the class. "Then, after the warm up, we'll go out to the newly renovated obstacle course with the REALLY tough obstacles. First, there is the minefield. And then there are the rabid hamster pits. And then…"

It was not a good day to be a student of Furinkan High.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Like I said, mostly a silly piece. Cutting it was for the best. Hopefully you enjoyed it at least a little, though.

A thousand thanks to Gary Kleppe for his help with the principal's speech pattern and other grammatical work.

"Let's get sticky' belongs to Ben Edlund. Still, who could resist using a line like that? ^_^

Thanks to:

Ryan Anderson

Gary Kleppe

Jason Liao

Miahara


	47. Lost Chapter 2: Barroom Blitz

Barroom Blitz

(A Shampoo ½ addition)

Few words o' explanation:

Actually this story takes place in the Shampoo ½ universe (for those who still remember that by now ancient piece of work), however, despite the fact it exists in a world inspired by Rumiko Takahashi, I think it's pretty much an original-style work since none of the regulars, or even semi-regulars, from the R ½ universe are in it. Rather it works off some of the original characters from the S ½ universe, namely several key members of the crew of that lovely oceangoing vessel, 'The Worthless Piece Of Shit,' and maybe a reference or two to another author's original characters.

All comments and criticisms appreciated. You can contact me at

You can find all of my fics now stored at:

.

and at Larry F's site at:

fan_fiction/d_b_

and stuff from the last couple of years is at R+C books at

.org

Harsh language and sexual references inside, so be warned.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kin Lo Wang despised her job in Chun Phat's Waterfront Bar more than she thought possible. Working in the worst dive in the seediest section of Shanghai as a waitress/prostitute was a dead end. One of these days it was going to get her either maimed, killed, or contracting some wonderful venereal disease that would end her days in misery and woe. Not that farming rocks her entire life and raising a family of anklebiters in the barren mountains of China could be considered much of a future either, but at least the life expectancy was slightly higher than her current occupation.

Back then, deep in her heart, Kin knew she was destined for better things, no matter how much the other villagers had laughed at the idea. It was that dissatisfaction that had led her to the 'Big City' of Shanghai in search of opportunities. The only ones she found available to a rural girl like her was the job at Phat's or death by slow starvation. After a week of being forced to eat what rats she could catch, prostitution didn't sound like such a lousy option. She was attractive enough to get good rates, and the gods knew her taste in men up to that point in her life had been bad enough that at least getting paid for sex with a bunch of losers meant she would end up ahead in that respect. The tips from waitressing weren't that bad, as long as one didn't mind the groping and the fact that a lot of the tips came in the form of gold teeth ripped out of someone's mouth.

But that was Chun Phat's for you. At least one corpse a night, and that was only if things were going slow. Not that Kin felt bad about the violence. The patrons of the bar were made up entirely of cutthroats, slavers, thieves, and murderers from all of Southeast Asia; the worst dregs of the earth all gathered in one spot. If the whole place burned down with all of them inside, not a tear would be shed, save by those that were owed money by the scum on the inside.

Still, Kin had an idle fantasy, a silly thing really. It was of some dashing pirate captain entering the bar, his eyes roving over the women within. The rogue's eyes would fall upon her, and his heart would be taken forever by Kin's great beauty. He would sweep her off her feet and take her away from the hellhole she was found herself stuck in. And as he carried her through the beer-sodden exit, like a husband would his blushing bride, he would whisper in her ear…

"Hey, sweet tits. Come on over and sit on the captain's magic lap for a long and thick surprise."

"THERE ISN'T ENOUGH MONEY IN THE WORLD, YOU LYING BASTARD!" The only thing Kin loathed more than her job was when her fantasies ended up compromised by reality.

Reluctantly, her eyes fell on the table the comment had been issued from. Of all the scoundrels and perverts in the bar, and the place was wall-to-wall with them, Captain D'Amour was the worst of the lot. Everyone agreed on that. For Kin, the hatred extended beyond the norm because the first time her eyes had fallen upon the rogue's dashing form, she had made the mistake of believing her fantasy had come true. D'Amour was as handsome as they came, with bright piercing blue eyes that a woman could drown in and long, flaxen locks that made her want to run her hands through them for eternity. Even his style of dress was impeccable; he wore a manteau. There were probably less than a dozen men alive that could get away with that and not look like a prissy fop, but D'Amour could. He was the key to her freedom, her dreams becoming reality at last. The charming words that spilled from his mouth like water over falls wooed her, and she had allowed him to bed her, free of charge.

And then she discovered, in excruciating detail, his personality.

Working as a prostitute in the most depraved dive in all of Shanghai was preferable to spending more than five minutes in the company of Captain D'Amour. He was the most sleazy, irritating, arrogant, deluded popinjay she had ever met. Oh, he had offered to take her away from the bar and to his ship, but only on the condition she have sex with him at his beck and call. No money for her either, and she would have to crew on his ship, the oh, so aptly named 'The Worthless Piece of Shit', during those times when he didn't feel like sleeping with her. He could also have sex with any other woman he chose, while all men were off limits to her. And the clincher was when he demanded she sign an agreement not to mention the words 'marriage' or 'commitment' in his presence, even if it didn't relate directly to him.

After offering her the copy of the contract he kept tucked in his boot, Kin promptly kicked him in the balls and threw him out the window. The final blow were his shouts claiming she was a "Stuck up bitch!" right up until the moment he struck the ground headfirst, damaging the concrete quite badly.

And now Kin found herself stuck waiting on his table yet again. She always had to do it, simply because, in spite of what he had done to her she was the only waitress in the bar that could tolerate him for more than a minute. That was what set Kin apart from others; she was resilient. She could deal with anything when she had to. However, in her current mood, she was tempted to either ignore him or kick him in the balls again for the sheer pleasure of it. Such fantasies were quickly reconsidered, though. It wasn't for his sake –if he ended up burning in Hell she would be the first to get the marshmallows— but rather his compatriots. Say what one would about what a complete asshole Captain D'Amour was, at least the members of his crew were better people. Well, relatively better when compared to their captain. And more importantly, they were damn good tippers.

Steeling herself, Kin walked over to the table where four people were currently seated. There was D'Amour, his lecherous look permanently affixed to her breasts as she approached. Then there was Brunt, a large, nearly seven foot giant of a man with huge corded muscles that showed even through his somewhat loose khaki shirt. His bright white teeth contrasted sharply with the dark ebony of his skin. He looked like he could crush walnuts in his biceps, but he was one of the least intimidating men she knew when he unleashed that bright smile that he was currently wearing.

Then there was the Mr. Kawada, the first mate of the much maligned TWPOS. He looked handsome too, though in a much more reserved way than D'Amour. His outstanding feature was not his outward appearance, which was every inch a normal Japanese male, but rather from his white tuxedo with the red rose stuck to the lapel. The suit was spotless, even in the bar which had drinks, blood, and vomit permanently soaked into every floorboard of the seedy dive.

The last member seated at the table was Alejandro Pena. His olive complexion and accent placed him as a Spaniard, though for some bizarre reason D'Amour seemed fixated on the idea that he was French, hence his more widely know nickname of 'Frog'. It was a name that even the crew that respected him always seemed to use. His yellow and white silk shirt did have several fresh stains on it, and given the somewhat glassy look to his eyes, there was little doubt that some of the alcohol he had purchased had failed to reach his mouth, enough had made it through to have the desired effect. Small surprise given the twenty or so bottles of alcohol that surrounded the table, half of which surrounded D'Amour, who appeared to be the least inebriated of the quartet.

However, for a change, it was not D'Amour who stood out from the group. Rather, it was the Spaniard who caught Kin's attention first. "Is that a fishing pole you're holding?"

Frog looked at his left hand. "No. S'a glass of Jim Daniels."

"That's Jack Daniels, you lightweight, and she means your other hand," D'Amour said as he finished off the last of a bottle of vodka. Finished off the last half of it, to be specific.

Frog looked in his other hand. "Why yes, it is."

Kin could feel a headache coming on. The crew of TWPOS might have been nice, especially when compared to the other patrons of the bar, but they were eccentric. Odd people who were nice tippers were always 'eccentrics'. Odd ones who were bad tippers were 'complete nut jobs'. The limp line clearly trailed towards the back of the bar, out of sight where the toilets and private rooms lay. "Catch anything yet?"

Frog gave a smile that was the sole province of those who were well on their way to a becoming intimate with a monstrous hangover. "Yeah, I got a hundred and twenty pound beauty on the end of this line. Left her plenty of slack, though."

"I… see," Kin said. Best to play it safe and not say anything that could set the group of nut jo… eccentrics off. By the gods, they were weird. If there was one thing she was relieved about, it was that her job, as shitty as it was, was at least normal.

A woman on fire ran screaming past the table.

"What was that?" Brunt exclaimed.

"Bartender," Kin explained in a tired voice. "That's the third one this week. I wish Phat hadn't shown that stupid 'Coyote Ugly,' movie to the girls to try and improve sales. Now, what do you want?"

"Hot sex," D'Amour blurted out as he made a grab for her butt.

A deftly handled blackjack appeared from its place of concealment in Kin's garter belt under her short skirt. It parried the pinch, then thumped into the captain's head.

"That hurt!" D'Amour complained to Kin as she held her weapon up in a warding gesture. He wagged his finger at her. "Bad waitress! No tip for you!"

Kin smirked. She knew D'Amour a little too well for that. "I see. Does that mean you don't want any more booze?"

The lecherous captain's look suddenly changed to fright. Holding his hand behind his head, he soothed, "I was just making a joke, Kinny-Baby. Another round for me and the boys. Hard stuff this time, like what that guy on the floor is having."

Kawada, much more clear-headed than anyone other than D'Amour, stood up and looked at the nearby large man that lay unconscious on the floor. "Are you sure it's safe to drink something like that?"

D'Amour stared at him as though he was stupid for asking the question. "Of course it'll be safe to drink. It's got alcohol in it."

Unconvinced, Kawada rose to his feet and walked over to where the fallen man lay. He gave the fellow a sympathetic look, then promptly kicked him in the side. He was rewarded by the man's eyes opening. A moment later, his mouth followed suit as he expelled the contents of his stomach on the floor.

D'Amour nodded approvingly. "As the great German philosopher, Heineken, once said, 'That liquor which does not kill us, makes us stronger.' Make it two rounds for them and two bottles for me," he told Kin.

She rolled her eyes and went to get the order. They were worse than usual, meaning they had better tip her good this time or there would be hell to pay.

As Kin returned to the table, she was about to set the glasses of liquor down when she saw the end of Frog's fishing pole dip for a split second, as though something was pulling the other end of the line. She watched as everyone's attention was suddenly riveted to the pole.

"Looks like she's going to make a run for it, boys," D'Amour warned.

"Give her a chance, captain," Brunt cautioned. "There's still hope. Wait for just one more pull."

"She's already run off the slack," Kawada pointed out.

Again the pole dipped again, this time more forcefully and the reel played out some line.

D'Amour's fist slammed down on the table. "Reel her in, you worthless Frenchman, before she runs out the line or gets properly braced! Luthorinski's special pole and hard wire line can only take two tons before it'll snap."

Frog jerked back, and much to Kin's surprise, he began to struggle fiercely with it, as though the thing on the other end was a indeed a giant fish trying to escape. Hearing the 'fisherman's' chair legs start to scrape against the sawdust covered floor, it was obvious who was winning the struggle.

"Get in there, man," D'Amour ordered Brunt.

The huge man did as he was instructed, ripping the pole out of Frog's hands and pulling for all his worth. In the beginning, the struggle was a stalemate. After almost a half minute, there was a groan from the floor boards and it appeared even Brunt would be dragged along by the force on the other end of the line. But with one more mighty jerk, he pulled back and was rewarded by a lessening of tension on the line.

The others at the table urged him to "reel her in". Kin initial instinct was to leave since no good could possibly come from this bizarre scene. However, driven by that strange aspect of human nature that makes people do things they know they shouldn't do, like slow down to carefully examine car wrecks as they drive past, she merely stood where she was and watched in rapt attention.

Within a moment, Brunt's frantic reeling was rewarded by the creature at the end of the line being dragged from the back halls and into the open. It was a young Japanese girl in her late teens, wearing a blue top with black pants and a distinctive blue bandanna with black stripes wrapped around her forehead. The line was attached to the heavy belt around her waist. She wriggled panickedly in the direction she had come from, still trying to fight off the pull despite losing her vertical base.

"Brunt! Brunt! Brunt!" the trio at the table cheered as they pounded their fists to the table. Brunt continued reeling for all his worth until he gave one final heavy jerk that sent the girl flying into the table, hitting it hard.

"Aki!" Brunt called out. It had been an accident. He hadn't expected her to give up resisting just as he gave that final pull on the pole.

D'Amour waved nonchalantly at the huge man. "No worries. She hit headfirst."

"Oh." Brunt let out a sigh of relief.

A moment later, Aki 'Don't call me Akiko' Yoshida of the Clan Hibiki and navigator for TWPOS, finally regained enough of her senses to stand up again. She looked confusedly at the men sitting at the table. One whiff of her breath convinced Kin it was from the amount of alcohol she had consumed, and not the blow to the girl's infamous indestructible head.

"Wha happened?" Aki asked as she collapsed into her seat.

"You wanted to go the restroom. We tied a line to you to make sure you didn't get lost." Kawada explained. "You did find the restroom, didn't you?"

Aki felt the crotch of her pants. "Not wet. Must have."

Kin rolled her eyes. It was typical of their antics. She served the drinks to the people at the table, giving Frog's second glass to Aki, not that she was probably doing the young woman any favors.

Aki stared suspiciously at the glass. "What's this?"

"Hard liquor. It's even better for you than water since fish can't live in it." D'Amour took a swig from his bottle to prove the point.

That seemed to ease Aki's concerns as she took a drink from the glass and immediately drained the contents dry. The liquid met with her approval, so she grabbed Brunt's extra and drained it as well.

Frog looked worriedly at the others. "Should would we stop her?"

"Only if she goes for mine," D'Amour said as he took another drink just as deep as Aki's. No woman would outdrink him.

Suddenly, a huge black form composed of pure energy leaped out of Aki's body and floated above her head. The being of obsidian energy appeared to be a huge woman, dressed in garb reminiscent of a Roman gladiator, with bulging muscles that put even Brunt's massive form to shame. A dark masked helmet covered its entire face, allowing only two ominous, crimson lights shining where its eyes should have been. It turned those ruby eyes to each of the people seated around the table, the lights seeming to double in intensity as they locked on D'Amour.

Brunt, Frog, and Kawada watched in fascination as D'Amour seemed unconcerned with the immensely powerful and uncontrollable Earth Stand staring intently at him. The staring didn't last long as the Stand lunged forward at D'Amour.

In response, D'Amour merely took another drink.

The trio at the table closed their eyes. A moment later, there was a thunderous belch, then the sound of something heavy hitting the table. Simultaneously, Aki's much beloved 'Idiot Trio' opened their eyes to see what had happened.

The Stand had collapsed across the table a mere inch from D'Amour, passed out. Not acknowledging what had happened in the slightest, he took another drink.

"Thass never happened before," Aki slurred as she took another drink of her own.

D'Amour gave a half-lidded stare over his bottle. "Two rules at the table, Aki: Never spill a drink. I run a tight ship, and all such cases of blatant alcohol abuse will not be tolerated. Second, no one passes out on the table. I don't like lightweight drinkers."

"All right, all right," Aki willed the unconscious stand back into her, ironically exerting more control over it than she ever had sober.

Kin waited to see if they wanted another round, given how fast the current round of drinks were disappearing. She evaded a second grope from D'Amour with another blackjack to the head.

D'Amour rubbed his sore head. "What sort of a prostitute keeps hitting a potential customer in the cranium when he's just testing out her wares to see if she's worth the cost or not?"

"One with any modicum of standards, and I know damn well you'd never pay for sex, no matter how horny you are," Kin replied flatly. Much to her surprise, D'Amour had already shifted his attention to elsewhere in the room. When she saw where it was focused, she moaned, "You have got to be kidding me."

"Be quiet, you stuck up wench," D'Amour hissed as he crouched low. "I've found the perfect ass, much better than that too-tight one of yours. I can tell with one glance at its heart-like shape that it's deliciously compact while being big enough to fit perfectly in one's hands, like mine. Just the right mix of firmness and softness. I'm going to get me a feel of it if it's the last thing I do." He began creeping through the mix of various substances on the floor.

The other four crewmen at the table calculated the captain's eventual target through his current trajectory.

"Is he going to do what I think he's going to do to who's standing over there?" Frog asked.

"Looks that way to me," Brunt confirmed. "No way he knows who it is; he's paying too much attention to that butt."

"A good and responsible crew would warn him of this potentially life threatening situation he is about to place himself in," Kawada pointed out.

"Agreed," Aki said. She looked her compatriots over one at a time. "Then it's settled?"

All of them nodded in agreement. Somewhat more sobered by the turn of events, they relaxed in their chairs, took one simultaneous gulp, and waited for the fun to start.

D'Amour was on the prowl. By staying low and using the patrons of the bar as cover, he had managed to sneak his way across the floor and avoided detection by his prey. It was about time something went his way. Every woman he had hit on at the bar had either slapped his face, punched him in the gut if they had already slept with them, or poured their drink on his head. Actually the last wasn't quite so bad as he could then lick the excess off his face for a semi-free drink. Every drop was sacred, after all.

But now, he had hit the jackpot. Never had he seen a derriere so perfect. It had to be his. The plan for gaining it was simple. Grab the bottom to show how interested he was in the woman, have her agree to sleep with him, and if he was lucky, persuade her to pick up his bar tab too. It would be a dream date for both of them. All he needed was a couple more steps…

…And then he was there, the beautiful derriere hugged in black trousers staring at him at eye level. The woman still wasn't aware of his presence, talking to two other women while facing the opposite direction from him. It was his lucky night. He drew himself up to his full height, standing a couple of centimeters over the tall woman's head and able to look down upon her long, flowing blue-green locks. He heard the gasps of the woman's two compatriots, no doubt in awe over his own incredible good looks. Who knew, if they were lucky, he might talk his newfound catch into a foursome.

It was time to make his move. He brought his head down low enough to give a throaty whisper in the woman's ear, "Hey there, beautiful," as he grabbed her bottom. It felt just as divine as he had dreamed.

"HOW DARE YOU!" the woman screamed as she spun around and prepared to decapitate the buffoon who would dare defile her person with a slap that would knock the teeth out of a full grown Bengal tiger. By the time her hand was but a single inch from her target, she got one good look at her assailant's face. The hand stopped dead in mid-air. "You?" the woman said in a quiet voice.

"AHHHH!" D'Amour shouted at the top of his lungs as though he had awakened one morning to find himself married. He somehow scurried away from the woman and back to his table in the span of a heartbeat, not turning around the entire time, unwilling to look away from the person upon which he had committed his unspeakable act.

The entire bar went dead quiet as the full ramifications of what had just happened began to settle in.

Madame Lao Cane, the former Amazon turned pirate, slaver, mistress of debauchery, and marauder of the oceans of the world in her magically cursed ship the 'Piece of Junk,' was not amused in the least to discover that the nearest thing to an arch-nemesis (pitiful as that was when one realized it was a moron like D'Amour), had just fondled her bottom as though she were some cheap floozy looking for a good time. Had it been any other man that had the audacity to take such liberties with her, she would have simply grabbed him and had him keelhauled as her ship set out of the harbor. Or perhaps she would have sailed out to shark infested waters, tied the perpetrator up, and dipped him over the side with a bunch of bleeding wounds and wait for the sharks to devour their prey alive. Or there was always staking him out to the deck and watch him slowly dehydrate under the open sun. So many means of punishment to choose from, but not for D'Amour. Death was too simple and easy for the likes of him, and that was before he grabbed her bottom. Oh no, she would have to get creative with the lecherous buffoon. A torture that would have him cursing her for years with the slightest memory of it. Something to give pain for a lifetime.

Lao's compatriots, Blossom and Lotus, backed away as their captain leveled an accusatory finger at D'Amour. "You stupid fool! For having the audacity to touch me in such a familiar manner, you've sealed your fate! I will see to it that you know nothing but unending torture and unrelenting pain for the rest of your miserable existence! I will have you begging for death as I—"

"AHHHH!" D'Amour screamed again as he held the hand that had groped Lao's bottom as though it had been burned. "Slut butt! Slut butt! I touched slut butt! Quick, get me disinfectant! No! Wait! Steel wool! The skin has to come off! There's no telling what horrible diseases I'll get from a butt as skanky as that!"

Lao's eyebrow began twitching. "Excuse me, but I was the one defiled here."

"Ha! As though there's anything alive that is capable of defiling 'The Slut of the Seven Seas'," D'Amour said.

The second eyebrow joined the first. "What did you just say?"

"What's the matter, herpes make you deaf? I'm telling you I'm the one that's been molested here. It's obvious I've been set up by you. Honestly, going to all of the trouble of following me here."

"I had no idea you were here until you grabbed me!" Lao shouted in open disbelief.

"Disguising yourself so I wouldn't recognize you."

"I'm not wearing a disguise!"

"And then worst of all, you engage in this pathetic scheme to try and grab my attention. Confess, Laosy, you padded those pants to hold up that saggy ass of yours just to trick me into fondling it, didn't you?"

"MY PANTS ARE NOT PADDED, AND MY BUTT IS NOT SAGGY, YOU MORONIC SIMPLETON!"

"Wow! The veins that are popping out of her forehead look just like my map of naval lanes. They even criss-cross over one another," Aki commented from her seat as she continued drinking and watching the show, silently rooting for Lao.

A bright aura of azure energy sprang up around Lao. Her two companions looked at each other in dread.

"This is extraordinarily bad. He's managed to piss the captain off in under a minute," Blossom, first mate of Lao's ship, moaned.

"Yeah, he's really on top of his game," Lotus, the helmswoman, agreed. "We have got to get her out of here. She's completely lost it this time. And since she still considers herself an Amazon, despite her exile—"

"—if he defeats her in combat—"

"—he'll be her husband and could become our next captain," Lotus finished with a shudder. "My loyalty to Lao only goes so far."

"Same here," Blossom agreed. They had to defuse the situation fast. It was not that Blossom had any doubts that her captain was more powerful than the lecherous scumbag, she was more powerful than almost anyone, even away from the ship, but when people got angry, sometimes they made mistakes. And there was no one, living or dead, who could make Lao as angry as D'Amour. Despite the Casanova's seeming incompetence, he had somehow managed to avoid being killed by the numerous people that despised him for quite a number of years. Blossom held to the opinion that it was better to be lucky than good. Sometimes she wondered if D'Amour wasn't the luckiest one of all.

Trying to seize control of the situation, Blossom moved next to Lao and made a great production of looking at her watch. In exaggerated tones, she cried out, "Oh dear me, look at the time. We have to get back to the ship and break in the latest shipment of captives. We do have a contract to sell a dozen fully trained sex slaves to Mr. Deprayve by the end of the month." That should do it. There was nothing a die-hard lesbian like Lao loved to do more than tossing a few dozen girls in the old 'Erotic Torture Chamber' and training them for future sale.

Lao didn't even spare Blossom a glance. Her eyes were centered on one man. "Don't worry about it. This won't take long."

Lao was choosing to fight a man rather than engage in acts of debauchery? This was very bad. "But we shouldn't keep the slaves waiting. And this will be the perfect opportunity to break in the 'Sodomizer 2001' we just purchased."

"I said later!" Lao shouted as she backhanded Blossom hard enough to send her reeling into Lotus, who barely managed to catch her. That ended matters. The women knew there was no longer any chance of calling off the fight.

D'Amour squared his shoulders to Lao. He pulled his blue manteau back in dramatic fashion, allowing the elaborate golden hilt of his sword to glint off the dim light of the bar. "There's nothing I hate more than a skanky dyke that enjoys smacking women around."

"I thought you said there's nothing you hate more than not having either women or alcohol within arm's length," Brunt mentioned.

"Nonsense," D'Amour said smoothly.

"I remember you saying it, too," Frog said.

"No, I didn't."

"I'm afraid you do. Pretty much every time there isn't either a drink or a woman within arm's reach," Kawada corrected.

"You're ruining the effect," D'Amour hissed under his breath.

"Enough of this posturing," Lao intoned menacingly as she fell into a combat pose. "It's time to end this. However, let it not be said I am unmerciful. If you fall to your knees and beg like a dog right now, I might be generous and kill you instead of capturing you and taking you with me. But don't hold your breath."

D'Amour gave her a smirk. "Laosy, the only reason I'd hold my breath is if someone forced me to go down on you."

"You die now!" Lao screeched as she charged forward, bringing the most dangerous techniques of her 'Water Style' martial arts to bear.

In answer, D'Amour drew his sword and charged forth to meet her.

The two met halfway across the room, the sound of hand meeting flesh mixing with the whir of a blade slicing through the air. Each person continued on as though nothing had happened, stopping only when they reached the place the other had started. They both turned and smirked at the other.

Lao placed a hand to her mouth and laughed. "It's over, you pompous twit. I hit a dozen of your pressure points. Within five seconds every muscle in your body will seize up, leaving you paralyzed and at my utter mercy. And I have no mercy for the likes of you."

A resounding cheer rose from D'Amour's crew.

Lao laughed again. "Even your own crew despises you. What a pitiful man you are."

D'Amour chuckled. "They're just hacked off because I'm a little behind in paying them their wages."

"No, it's because we don't like you," Aki assured him.

D'Amour shook his head. "That's what your lips say, but I know it's just a perverse form of affection you guys have for me. You just can't bring yourselves to admit that you like me."

"No, we really hate you," Kawada insisted.

Again, D'Amour shook his head. "A little jealous, perhaps, but who could blame you? I am insufferably charming, handsome, and dashing. Observe." He spun around and grabbed Lotus before she could react. He brought her mouth up to his and gave her a deep, passionate kiss. After several seconds, he broke it off and gave a gleaming smile to her. "How was that?"

Lotus slapped him hard enough to spin around so that he was facing Lao again.

"Obviously she has been brainwashed by that corrupt pirate whore into hating all men." D'Amour tried rubbing his jaw to get some feeling back in it.

"Wait a minute," Brunt said. "It's been more than five seconds. How come the captain's still moving?"

D'Amour placed his hands on his waist and laughed. "That's because I'm immune to Lao's petty, little pressure point tricks."

"Impossible!" Lao shouted. "Nothing human could resist my technique, not even you."

"I have a blood alcohol level of .35. I can do anything. BWHAHAHAHA!"

Lao's battle aura tripled in intensity as she prepared for another charge. "This time I go for the kill, you miserable, brainlessly stupid sh—"

Casually, D'Amour snapped his fingers. In response, every stitch of Lao's clothing fell to the floor in a dozen pieces.

"I don't see either padding or sag there," Brunt commented thoughtfully as he got a perfect view of Lao's posterior. His three companions were forced to agree.

Lao stared at her unclothed state in disbelief. Barely, she was able to get out, "H—How? I was employing the Flow Like a Stream Defense. My body was like water. Any attacks should have flowed right through me and my clothing."

D'Amour held his weapon before him. "Laosy, my sword's so sharp, it can even cut water." He swung it once in dramatic fashion before advancing slowly upon her again.

Lao backed cautiously away. This was not going the way it was supposed to. Not at all. He was just a lecherous buffoon. Women he offended struck him all the time. She was one of the world's most dangerous martial artists. He should have been an easy mark. There should have been a hundred ways she could defeat him without him coming close to touching her. So why was it her attack had failed while she hadn't even been able to feel his?

D'Amour had closed to about half the distance to his opponent when he paused. Grimacing, he clutched at his pelvis, then shot Lao a dirty look. "Why you sneaky bitch. I don't believe it. You did get me."

"What?" Lao was confused. She did nothing to him that should have had that effect.

"Ook!" He looked to be in serious pain. "How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

Ignoring her, he shouted to the room, "Listen up everyone. I did not lose this fight. It is officially a draw, and anyone that doesn't like that, I don't care."

"What's wrong!"

He shot her in evil glare "As if you didn't know."

"I don't! Tell me!"

D'Amour crossed his legs. "You obviously manipulated my body chemistry in such a way that you made me have to piss really bad. I mean really, really bad. My back teeth are floating here. I hate you."

Lao's shaking became uncontrollable. "You have to piss really bad because you drank over ten bottle of booze, you lecherous scumbag!" To emphasize her point, Lao began hurling the bottles from his table at him. D'Amour ducked and dodged out of the way of each bottle, making certain he was heading towards the restroom with each move. All of the bottles smashed against walls, tables, and even other patrons, save the last one, which had a bit of drink left at the bottom. He snatched that one out of mid-air, than ran the rest of the way to the restroom.

Out of ammunition, Lao just stared at where he had gone. Lotus and Blossom rejoined their captain, covering her with part of a sail that had been hanging as a wall decoration.

"We could probably whack him in the head while he's relieving himself and grab him," Lotus offered half-heartedly.

Lao held up her hand, signaling an end to that line of thought. "No. We head back for the ship. I've had a rough night."

Without another word the trio exited, leaving the four remaining members of D'Amour's crew to stare at the table, depressed.

"We were so close, too," Frog complained as he drained another glass.

"I thought for sure Lao could take care of him one-on-one." Brunt did likewise.

"It defies explanation," Kawada agreed, draining his last glass as well.

Aki was about to finish her drink off when she said, "Hey, if we leave him here, he'll get lost and not be able to find the ship again."

"No, that's you who gets lost if you don't have someone to take you back to the ship," Frog corrected. "No more drinks for you." He grabbed the glass out of her hand, much to Aki's disappointment. She briefly considered hitting him, but in her drunken state, remembered she liked Frog. In response, she tried hugging him, which made him run for his life. It was not that he didn't like her, just that when she became happily emotionally charged, she seemed to lose her ability to regulate her strength. No friendship in the world was worth accidentally having his spine crushed in a gesture of fondness.

After ten minutes, the others calmed Aki down enough to not display any signs of affection. It was also at that time that D'Amour showed up again.

"Ten minutes?" Kawada asked.

"That bitch really screwed up my urinary tract," D'Amour growled. "Where is she?"

"She left," Brunt told him

D'Amour snapped his fingers. "Damn! Just as I was about to spank her pirate whore bottom. Nah, on second thought, the twisted little dyke would probably enjoy it. That was probably her plan all along, but she'll never get an ounce of pleasure from me."

"Oh, really?" Frog leaned in close to the captain. "Are you sure this isn't some perverse form of attraction you have for her and are just unwilling to admit it, so you insult her instead? You did think she had the perfect butt right up until you realized it was her."

D'Amour chuckled, then leaned in closer in response. "Want me to show you this trick I learned? It's called, 'A frog's arms and legs fall off due to sharp edge trauma'."

"I was just having a good joke with you sir! HAHAHAHA!" Frog forced out, hoping the captain was joking. It was hard to tell sometimes.

Luckily for Frog, the ship's helmsman, Shelby, entered the bar. He appeared excited, and D'Amour quickly waved him over. "What is it, man? Tell us."

It took Shelby a moment to catch his breath. "Well, sir, it appears one of the crew escaped. She apparently saved a bunch of lamb phlegm from the Swede's Mutton Surprise for lunch, and used that to squeeze through her porthole. She was long gone by the time we discovered her absence."

D'Amour processed the information. "A woman squeezed through a porthole? Must have been Jesse Sykes. She didn't have any tits anyway. No great loss there."

"But we'll need someone to replace her as ship's hostess," Kawada said.

"Every ship needs a hostess!" D'Amour exclaimed. He knew how to captain a ship. He had watched every episode of 'Love Boat' twice. He had even seen the new version that had popped up decades later, though Robert Urich was no Captain Stubing.

The entire group huddled together in concern. Brunt looked at his watch. "We have to leave in the next hour. Who can we possibly get to take her place in that amount of time left?"

It was at that moment, Kin came up to the table and cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. "Is there anything else you're going to need tonight?"

Six pairs of eyes looked at her with the same relieved stare, a stare that lay above six identical smiles. A creeping sensation crawled up the length of Kin's spine.

"We just need one more thing before we head out," D'Amour said.

"Yes?" Kin asked.

"One waitress to go."

And the world went dark for Kin.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I've been shanghaied!"

"Yes, from Shanghai. Very appropriate, that."

"You bastards!" Kin shouted for the third time at D'Amour and his companions from the deck of TWPOS. A wind blew off the open ocean, trying to cool her off, but her temper was running far too hot for that. "How could you kidnap me?"

"Excuse me," D'Amour held up a warning finger. "We do not use such offensive terms as 'kidnapping' here. We are a racially diverse crew, and as such we must remain aware of one another's different cultural needs. In the name of racial sensitivity, we prefer you use the term, 'Freedom Impaired'."

Kin felt like crying. Out on the open sea, there was no hope of escape. She was trapped even worse than in the Phat's bar. Already she smelled like fish, just like the ship did.

"Oh, come on," D'Amour soothed. "You were little more than a hooker in a seedy drug den in a shithole section of a nasty city with no way out. How can serving on this ship be any worse than that?"

"Because even as a hooker, I could take some pride in my work. Now I'm stuck on the biggest joke on the ocean!"

Seeing she was still resistant, D'Amour let out a reluctant sigh, "All right. Since I need you, I'll make you an officer of the ship instead of normal crew."

That briefly perked Kin up. "Including a salary?"

"Yes," the words had to be pulled from D'Amour's mouth.

"When will I get paid?"

"Infrequently," Aki said flatly.

"How much will I be making?"

"The captain doesn't really hold to the theory that there's a minimal amount of money people need to survive," Kawada informed her.

Kin's shoulder's slumped even further.

D'Amour tried again to improve her spirits. "But you'll get full benefits. We have a world class Swedish chef in our galley. Every meal is delicious."

"True, just don't ask what the stuff he serves is actually made of until after it's fully digested," Frog told her.

"Why?" Kin asked.

"It's rather exotic," D'Amour supplied quickly.

"Only if you consider dolphin colons and monkey tongues exotic. And I know I'll never look at an ostrich's balls the same way ever again," Frog added morosely.

Quick to retake the initiative, D'Amour said, "Our medical staff is headed by a brilliant world-renowned doctor that can cure anything."

"Unless it involves an open wound, in which case you're better off getting checked out by the ship's exotic dancer, who's probably more knowledgeable about medicine than the doctor in any case," Brunt pointed out.

Kin felt what little hope she had diminishing.

"And then there's the best benefit of all, one you can't get at any other job in the world." D'Amour said, teeth gleaming.

"What's that?" Kin asked.

"You can have sex with me any time you want."

The others grabbed Kin before she was more than halfway over the railing.

Realizing there was no hope for the moment, Kin reluctantly agreed to serve as ship's hostess, but only until the opportunity to escape presented itself. The others seemed to accept that and left her alone, except Kawada, who hung behind a moment.

"What do you want?" Kin asked.

Kawada said, "I don't want you to take this wrong, since you're in an obviously agitated state, but I think you're going to work out."

"There's no way in hell I'll stay on this ship one moment longer than I have to."

Kawada laughed. "That's what they all say, and for most it's true. But every now and then someone ends up staying even when the opportunity to escape presents itself. They'll make excuses and bitch and moan constantly, like Frog and Forlorn, our councilor, but for some odd reason they never find it in their hearts to leave. It's like the crew is as much a jigsaw puzzle as this cobbled together ship, and some of us are pieces that fit in the right way to complete the puzzle. Usually, I'm good at noticing when the pieces fit. Sykes didn't. You do. Just thought you should know. Bye now."

As Kawada left, for a moment, Kin considered making for the railing again, but for some odd reason plunging to her death didn't hold the appeal it had a moment ago. Instead, she felt a little more at ease after the first mate's speech, even if she thought it was a crock of shit. She decided to deal with the situation and play 'hostess' for the moment. But not for one moment longer than she had to, she swore.

As Kin headed to her room, she paused, and took a hard look at the deck of the worn and rusty vessel that was her temporary prison. "If you think for one second that I belong in this mix of fools, incompetents, and lecherous bastards, you have another thing coming. I am normal, do you hear me? I'm not like them."

Kin nearly staggered as she realized what she had done in reproaching an inanimate object. In less than two days the ship and crew had taken its toll on her sanity. What was she going to be like in a week? Or a month?

"I don't belong here," Kin insisted quietly. And for just a moment, right on the edge of her hearing, she thought she could hear a soft, feminine giggle that she would have sworn came from the ship itself. Worse, she somehow knew the giggle was directed at her. Kin let out a sigh of surrender and headed directly to her room. No. Somehow, she knew it was not merely a room.

It was her new home.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Madame Lao and her accomplices. Jim Bader made them. The rest are actually mine, though.

Special thanks to:

Kichigai

David Johnston

Bjorn Christianson

Nidoking

And Jim Bader for the use of Lao


	48. Lost Chapter 3: Looking for That Perfect Drink

Looking For That Perfect Drink

A TWPOS fanfic

Any and all C+C is appreciated. You can contact me at

Standard Disclaimer: I actually own the rights to the characters, if not the movie this thing is based on.

Forward: This is the gang that debuted from the old Shampoo ½ series. Once again I'm having a little fun with D'Amour and some of the crew up to their usual antics. Nothing deep here, just lighthearted, pointless humor and parody. You'll figure out what movie the opening is a parody of fairly quickly.

xxxxxxxxxx

Captain D'Amour brushed his blue manteau over his shoulder before leaning back in the cushioned chair provided by his rather rotund host, Wei Lo. The restaurant D'Amour was currently in (located on the fifth floor of a building also owned by Lo) was loud and extravagant, exactly as had been described to him by others that had dined there before. Expensive gourmet food, lavish decorations with a Southeast Asia motif, elaborate floor shows for entertainment, and the most important detail of all, one of the largest stocked bars in the Orient, were all present. Even now D'Amour could see a huge table only holding a hundred filled glasses of champagne off to the side. It was like a slice of heaven.

D'Amour was far from the only patron on this night. The restaurant was packed with many other tables filled with finely dressed patrons. The tables formed the border that surrounded the open performance area in the center of the room. Currently a Caucasian woman was singing in the midst of a flurry of brightly dressed dancers who performed carefully choreographed numbers around her, complementing her singing without upstaging the star of the performance. The singer was belting out some tune about how 'Anything Goes'. D'Amour wouldn't have minded 'Everything Going' when it came to that gorgeous blonde, especially her clothing. She was an entertainer, after all, and her body was something he could entertain himself with for a while.

Well below the edge of the table, an elbow buried itself in his side. "Quit leering. We're dealing in serious money here," Aki whispered.

D'Amour looked his dinner 'companion' over. While Aki did look cute in a white stole dangling over her shoulders and a red dress that hugged her fit frame quite nicely, the captain wasn't taken in by her appearance. No amount of good looks could counter the little drawback concerning her inability to control her strength when she became excited. No woman in the world was worth a broken set of ribs, not when there were so many other significantly less dangerous, and better looking, ones out there.

It was a shame his first choice of companion, his ship's Exotic Dancer (and back up physician) Bubbles, couldn't come along. He had asked her -using all the considerable charm he could muster- yet despite that she made reluctance to accompany him known when one of her scalpels 'slipped,' the blade nearly impaling the captain's crotch. A lesser man, ignorant in the ways of women, would have misinterpreted the sign as disinterest. But D'Amour was experienced and could read between the lines. She wanted him, but wasn't quite ready to admit it to herself.

So that left Aki to accompany him. Admittedly, she had uses other than the usual ones that sparked his interest when it came to women. She could come in handy on this meeting, especially since Lo had made D'Amour leave his sword behind. It and the ship being two the few true companions he had his whole life. He felt naked and vulnerable without his blade. One never knew when a violent woman from his past might show up and become unreasonably angry with him for misunderstanding something he had said. That was the problem with women. They took pillow talk WAY too seriously.

"Mr. D'Amour?" Lo inquired from his seat across from the still leering man.

"That's 'Captain'," D'Amour corrected and looked over the man he was conducting this business transaction with. Lo was dressed in an impeccable white suit that reeked of money. D'Amour had no doubts the outfit cost more than what he paid his entire crew in a month. It was such a waste. No suit in the world could make the corpulent cow attractive to members of the opposite sex. The man had to weigh over three hundred pounds, and that was on a five-five frame. He might as well have worn a sweat suit and saved the money.

Flanking Lo were a pair of men who also weighed over three hundred pounds, however their mass was all muscle distributed over mammoth frames that were nearly seven foot in height. They were tall enough to stare Brunt in the eye. They wore matching suits, nicely tailored, though inferior to Lo's, and had to have been brothers, since they were identical in appearance.

"Nice set of bookends you got there." D'Amour indicated by nodding his head at the duo.

The reference seemed to please Lo. "Yes. The one on the right refers to himself as 'Assault' while his brother is 'Battery'. They are arena fighters who went unbeaten in four years. Of course they never faced one another. They are quite an impressive pair."

While the statement was true, they weren't exactly the sort of 'impressive pair' D'Amour liked to stare at. "Wait a minute, Aren't they the professional fighters that got kicked out of competing in any sanctioned tournament because they injured every opponent they ever fought?"

"Little people. They break too easy," one of them muttered in a slight Italian accent.

D'Amour chuckled. "You should ask Aki here about that."

A swift kick met him in the shin, causing his eye to water in pain.

"Are you all right?" Lo asked.

"Fine," D'Amour bit out. He was thinking of having a peg leg installed anyway.

Lo stared admiringly at the large men. "They cost me a lot, but they're worth it. They're very efficient at what they do."

"And that is?" D'Amour asked.

"Taking people apart and then putting them back together."

"That doesn't sound so bad, as long as they put them back together." D'Amour casually lounged back in his chair.

Lo scratched his chin in thought. "Well, not exactly. They're not very handy with parts. There tend to be a few left lying around when they're finished reassembling things."

"I… see," D'Amour said.

"Let's get down to business." Lo's eyes fairly sparkled as he wrung his hands in anticipation. "Do you have the item?"

D'Amour put on his cocky grin and somehow made his hand swagger as he pulled a leather bag from a hidden inner pocket of his suit. He set the bag on the table, then opened the top and pulled a small, ancient glass jar bearing an inscription on the top, from within. He set the bottle on the table, showing the inscription to the Lo.

Lo read the words and squealed in joy. "Give it to me." He reached out with his pudgy fingers.

D'Amour snatched it back. "Ah, ah, ah. Money first, and I'm afraid it's going to be double my original estimate."

"Oh?" Lo asked.

"Expenses. I warned you about them," D'Amour explained. "I racked up a lot in the course of recovering this. Your bottle was located deep in the heart of Africa, in the middle of a lost city full of irate, albino mutant killer apes. Worse, there was an active volcano that was in the middle of erupting just when we arrived. Me and my crew barely made it out alive."

"That sounds a bit unbelievable," Lo commented.

"It's true," Aki said. She removed her stole and showed it to him. Attached to one end was a large, irate, albino mutant killer ape head. Its fangs were bared, and even dead, the creature appeared vicious and eager enough to still greedily chomp on anyone that dared draw too close.

"I… see." Lo shook off his surprise and snapped his fingers.

Assault responded by pulling out a small cloth bag from the interior of his suit. It jingled with the sound of many small, metal objects striking each other. He tossed it on the table in front of him.

The table top was was built on a swivel. It was simple enough for D'Amour to spin the top around so the money was next to him while Lo had the bottle.

Tears formed in Lo's eyes as he cradled the item in his hands like it was a precious child. "At last, my ancestor's ashes will be returned to their rightful shrine. The spirit of Hung Lo will be laid to rest at last."

"Hung Lo, eh? A lot of guys say that, but only some of us are telling the truth." D'Amour doubled over in laughter.

Everyone else just stared.

"No one appreciates a good pun around here," D'Amour grumbled as he handed the bag to Aki.

She took a moment to count the money. "This will do," she said approvingly.

D'Amour held out on open palm. "Why don't I keep a hold of it?"

Aki scowled at the man. "Because the crew needs to be paid, not all of the hookers in Shanghai."

"But as captain, it's my duty to keep the money safe."

"Which is why it will stay with me." She kept the money close to her bosom.

"Damn it, girl, I'm the captain. Show me the respect that is my due."

"You want me to throw a drink in your face and knee you in the groin?"

"Why don't we toast to our mutual success?" Lo asked, interrupting the argument before it came to actual blows.

The mention of receiving a drink calmed D'Amour. He waited politely like a child who was told he'd be given a toy if he remained quiet.

Lo waved at a nearby waiter. The man brought over a tray with two expensive crystal glasses already filled.

"Oooo." There was a hungry gleam to D'Amour's eyes. Once the waiter brought the tray within the captain's reach, he snatched a glass and finished the drink in a single gulp.

The waiter, awed by the speed, hesitated a moment before removing the other glass and placing it next to Aki. Or tried to place it next to her. Instead, just as he released his grip on the stem of the crystal D'Amour snatched that glass too. Placing the first back on the tray, he downed the second even faster.

Lo appeared distraught at the move.

D'Amour waved the empty glass in the rotund man's direction. "Not bad." He placed the second glass on the tray and instructed the waiter to, "Get me some more of that, only this time see to it it's still in the bottle." Heshooed the man away to hurry him along.

Lo's dismay turned to mirth. He began laughing hard.

D'Amour smiled in return. "Glad to see you're so happy with the transaction. Maybe a little more free booze will get you a discount the next time you need the services of an 'Obtainer of Rare Goods' such as myself."

Lo's laughter doubled. "Like the drink, did you?"

"Not much kick to it, but free alcohol is always acceptable," D'Amour said.

Lo continued laughing harder than he should. As he chuckled, he pulled out a clear glass vial containing a blue liquid. He toyed with it in his hand, displaying it for D'Amour's benefit.

D'Amour laughed politely. It died quickly as he turned and called out, "I need some help over here!"

Lo cleared his throat, gaining D'Amour's attention. He waved the vial back and forth.

D'Amour nodded, then turned around again, snapping his fingers. "Someone, I need a drink!"

Lo grunted more loudly. Seeing he once again had the captain's attention, he asked, "Aren't you curious about this vial?"

D'Amour stared at the blue liquid. "Blueberry Schnapps?"

"No. Antidote."

"That's nice," D'Amour said. He then turned around again and shouted, ""What does it take to get some service around here?"

Aki finally broke down, slapping the captain in the back of the head and making him face the table. To Lo, she asked, "Okay, it's antidote to what?"

Seeing he finally had someone's full interest, Lo explained. "It's antidote to the highly fatal poison the two of you drank." He rethought that. "I mean, that the captain has imbibed."

D'Amour's mouth fell open in stunned disbelief. He half rose out of his seat and bellowed, "You stinking bastard!"

Lo taunted him by waving the vial warningly. "You must keep calm, Captain."

"The hell I will! You think I won't lose my temper over you watering down your drinks?"

It was Lo's turn to have his mouth open in disbelief. It took much longer for him to recover than it had for D'Amour. "I think perhaps you're missing the point. You have been poisoned."

"Yes, I seem to recall you mentioning that." D'Amour appeared panicked.

Seeing his prey's growing alarm, Lo sat still and watched contentedly as D'Amour squirmed.

"Ah, there's one." D'Amour placed his hand to his lips and whistled. "Waitress, I need a little something to quench by thirst!" Seeing he had her attention, and she was reacting to his request, he relaxed. "That was close. I didn't think anyone was going to wait on me."

Lo slammed his fists on the table. "Damn it, Man. If you don't get this antidote, you'll die!"

D'Amour said in a low, menacing voice, "If I don't get a drink soon, I'll die from that even quicker."

"Just return the money to me, and I'll give you the antidote," Lo snarled.

Aki finally interjected herself into the conversation. "You seem to be making one small error in your offer there, Mr. Lo."

The man looked at her curiously. "Yes?"

"I have the money, and I'm not poisoned."

"True, but your captain is," Lo pointed out.

"I really don't see a problem with that," Aki explained. "Actually, the only way you would be getting your hands on the money is if you were offering to poison the captain. Then I would have an important decision to make. As it stands now, I let things remain as they are, and everything works out better than anyone could have anticipated."

"Thank god," D'Amour cried out as a waitress in a slinky green and white dress, similar to what the dancers wore, approached. She held a tray in hand, a white napkin draped over the top and dangling over the side. "I'd like to place an order. A martini, if you would."

"If you don't tell your woman to give me the money, it'll be the last drink you ever have," Lo threatened.

D'Amour considered that, then said to the waitress. "Make it a double."

Lo's face turned red in apoplectic rage. "Damn you, take me seriously!"

D'Amour sighed in disgust. "Very well, I'll wait on that drink." He snapped his fingers.

The waitress pulled up the napkin so that it was no longer over the side. It revealed a gun that she was holding under the tray, helping to prop it up. The barrel was pointed directly at Lo.

Everyone looked at D'Amour in shock, even Aki, who was clearly stunned by the waitress's identity, Hostess Kin.

The captain laughed. "Stupid wanna-be corpulent evil mastermind type, you think I didn't suspect you'd betray me? Don't be absurd. Hell, my crew turns on me all the time, and I trust them a lot more than I trust you." D'Amour said, then in a softer voice added, "Although I admit, even I didn't think you were low enough to water down your drinks."

Lo's face turned even redder.

D'Amour decided to really rub it in. "I had it all planned from the start. I told my Ship's Hostess, Kin, to sneak in, impersonate one of the waitresses, and wait for my signal, which was the whistle. Then she was to come over and help me turn the tables on you. Now, I'll be taking that antidote."

D'Amour reached over the table and snatched the vial from Lo's pudgy fingers. It was the captain's turn to taunt him with the antidote. "It looks like the tables have turned. Literally, in this case." He spun the table top around. "I have the antidote, the money, and if I had any interest in dusty old guys, I'd take your ancestor, too. But since I don't, I'll let you keep him." D'Amour leaned back in his chair and gave the man a contemptuous smile. "That's right, I have complete control of the situation. Nothing can stop me now, nothing." His free hand rose up and fondled the waitress's bottom.

His eyes bulged as he turned on her in surprise. "You're not Kin."

In response, the woman unleashed a sweeping upward backhand, knocking the antidote out of D'Amour's grasp. The vial went sailing across the room, landing among the glasses of champagne at the open table.

'Kin' turned the gun on the captain. She then clutched the bottom of her neck and peeled the skin away in an upward motion, revealing a second layer of darker skin underneath. She continued peeling the false cover away, only stopping once it was entirely removed. With the mask gone, everyone at the table gasped at the true identity of the waitress.

D'Amour made a strangled noise. "Madame Lao."

The infamous pirate slaver shot a smirk of superiority at the closest thing she had to an arch-nemesis. "So, we meet again, Captain."

"Why are you here?" D'Amour snarled.

Eyes gleaming in delight, Lao explained, "I heard about this transaction going down and decided to interject myself into it, getting revenge both on yourself and Mr. Lo, who once double-crossed me in a similar manner." She turned to the fat man. "I told you at the time, no one ever betrays me twice, since they always pay for it the first time."

"I prefer the term 'Renegotiating' myself," Lo said.

Lao replied, "I prefer calling it getting my pound of flesh, or in your case, ten pounds. I'll be taking the money, the ashes, and the antidote." She looked Aki over. "And the girl. She's a bit rough around the edges, but I think I can get a good price for her with a little proper training."

"Hey!" Aki snapped.

"What about my hostess?" D'Amour asked. You didn't come across a great body like Kin's too often. Letting it fall into Lao's hands would be the ultimate loss.

"Oh, her? She's fine. It was fortunate I recognized her back in the kitchen where she was watching you. I offered to take her place in your little scheme."

D'Amour said, "Liar. She would never sell me out for all the money in the world."

"Actually, it didn't cost me a thing. She let me take her place under the condition you didn't leave here alive."

D'Amour snorted in derision. "As though you expect me to believe that. She's one of the most loyal members of my crew."

"Of that, I have no doubt," Lao said drolly. "So, Captain, after constantly confounding my schemes, irritating me to no end with your brainless antics, insulting my appearance, and humiliating me in front of others, you have at last come to your end. Is there anything you have to say?"

D'Amour looked at his hand in disgust. "Ewww. You tricked me into touching your bottom. I feel so defiled." He turned to Lo. "Got any Handi-Wipes around? I really need to wash this off."

Lao turned as red as Lo had earlier. "Fool! Rather than amuse myself by watching you slowly die of poison, I shall shoot you instead!" She leveled the gun at his head.

As she did so, the barrel of the weapon passed over the table. That was the opportunity Battery was waiting for as he put both hands on the tabletop and pushed downward with all his strength. The force of the maneuver shattered the swivel mechanism in the middle, tilting the top like a seesaw. The opposite end sailed upward, swatting the gun from Lao's hands and causing it to be hurled halfway across the room to where it skidded across the floor and out of sight under a group of table.

Seeing the pirate's advantage had finally been lost, Lo bellowed orders to his men. "Kill them!"

Assault and Battery responded as one, rising out of their seats and drawing their fists back in identical fashion. They then brought their limbs forward, aimed at the same target, the still seated D'Amour's head.

The captain barely ducked in time as the fists met each other with a thunderous crash right where his head had been scant seconds before.

"Not him! He's already a dead man from the poison! Kill his bodyguard and that accursed pirate!" Lo shouted.

Assault went after Aki while Battery went after Lao.

D'Amour smacked his hand to his forehead. He had forgotten about the poison. "Aki, as a loyal member of my crew, I order you to bravely hold off our foes while I recover the antidote!"

Aki barely ducked a sweeping fist directed at her own head. "I'm only fighting him because he's attacking me!" She aimed a punch at the big man's gut and connected. "How'd you like that?" she snapped at the miniature colossus.

Even her attacker seemed surprised by the force the small girl could wield. He rubbed at the spot the blow landed, then growled and went after Aki again. He was more cautious now, probing her defenses with calculated attacks in an effort to gauge her skill.

As that fight raged, Battery moved in to confront his own opponent. While she backed away to gain more room to maneuver, Lao was more amused than concerned by the hulking giant intent on twisting her into shapes even she couldn't contort into. "I never cared much for firearms anyway." She flowed out of the way of his first blow, sneaking in a chop aimed at his sternum. Rather than breaking it, as she had hoped, her hand bounced off. She rubbed it as it felt sore from the impact.

Battery pounded his fist several times into the same spot she struck. "Your water based style of martial arts are good for evasion, but not aggression. Water breaks against a dam." He flexed his broad chest muscled to reinforce the analogy.

"Water wears down everything, in time." Lao took on a more formal stance, openly taking the fight more seriously.

With the chaotic fight now out in the open, the entire room of patrons had transformed into a panicked mob. As with all mobs, they were a disorganized crush of people running frantically back and forth with no idea of what they were doing or where they were going. To further complicate the matter, Lo had ordered the doors to the room locked to prevent any chance of the money escaping, and thus the number of people remained the same as the panic only grew and the mob sought other ways of escaping the melee.

D'Amour, while moving quickly, was far from panicked as he lay on the floor and began crawling away. It was not that he was acting cowardly, it was just that he didn't want to distract Aki by showing his face, since she might become concerned with his welfare and turn in combat at a critical moment. So instead he crawled across the open floor that the dance number had previously occupied, weathering the occasional stiletto heel driven into his back by some frightened dancer or restaurant patron. That wasn't so bad, since he sort of enjoyed women dancing up and down on his back from time to time.

Finally, he arrived at his destination: the table that the antidote had fallen onto. He rose to his feet, the ocean of champagne filled glasses somehow avoiding being toppled by the mob. It was one of the most delightful sights the captain had ever seen.

As he looked the sea of alcohol over, it occurred to him that if the antidote had fallen into one of the glasses, the stopper had come undone, and someone tossed aside the vial, he would have no way of knowing which glass now contained the antidote. There was only thing to do to ensure his survival.

"Come to Papa!" D'Amour declared as he began picking up the glasses and draining them all one by one.

xxxxxxx

Lao found herself hard pressed by her foe. He was not without some measure of skill. She had no doubt she would win, merely that it would take time and she would have to work for it.

Just as the pirate slaver was about to deliver a strike across the bridge of her foe's nose, one of the panicked patrons came toward her from her blind spot and struck Lao in the back, shoving the pirate forward. Off balance, she moved right into the fist that had been aimed at her mid-section. Even with her superior physique, she was badly winded as the blow to her solar plexus knocked all the air from her lungs. Lao fell to the ground, doubled over in pain.

She forced herself to come out of the ball she wanted to curl into and looked up to see the Battery looming over her, grim smile etched on his face. Obviously he was going to enjoy this, even if she wasn't.

Lao prepared to roll out of the way, though even if she evaded the first strike she had no idea how she could dodge a second with how out of breath she was, when an empty wine glass shattered against the giant's face. The unexpected attack distracted and angered him at the same time as the shards cut his face in a number of places.

Lao and Battery looked in the direction that the glass had originated. They saw D'Amour, his attention riveted to the table of drinks, tossing empty glasses blindly over his shoulder as he drained each one. He had made amazing progress, and already a significant number of glasses were now in pieces on the floor.

D'Amour was intent on removing even more of the drinks, both hands holding empty glasses as he had finished them simultaneously, when he sensed an ominous presence behind him. Since ominous presences tended to interrupt one's drinking habits, he turned to see what the nature of the disturbance was.

He looked up into the bleeding face of an enraged Battery, the man's fist drawn back.

"Wait!" D'Amour shouted, holding the empty vessels before him. "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?"

Battery's face contorted in even more pain from the pun, and he managed to bring more power behind his blow. The first narrowly missed the captain's head as he ducked out of the way.

The break in the fight had given Lao a chance to rise to her feet and catch her wind. So, D'Amour had saved her. It was about time fate screwed him over instead of it being the other way around. Still, Lao was not without appreciation for the gesture, inadvertent though it was. If the opportunity presented itself, she would make his death quick and painless. Well, relatively painless compared to the tortures she really wanted to inflict upon him.

Lao braced a hand against the table of drinks, and was amazed to see a familiar vial sticking out of one of the glasses. Her catlike grin resurfaced at the sight of the familiar item. She fished it out of the drink and slid the vial down the front of her dress. She patted it, making certain it was affixed snugly in her brassier, before returning to the battle.

Battery had finally snared D'Amour by the back of his pants as the captain lay sprawled across the table on his stomach, crying at the top of his lungs as a multitude of the glasses were knocked over and their contents lost forever.

As amusing as watching D'Amour being beaten to death would be, survival took precedence over entertainment, and Lao's chances at the former went up significantly without the presence of the hulking brute.

With his back to her, and her existence momentarily forgotten in the heat of battle, the large man presented Lao with an ideal target. She was quick to take advantage of the situation by attempting a finishing maneuver. Lighting fast, her hands darted out, striking identical pressure points on the sides of her foe's unprotected neck.

The blows were on target and the technique effective as Lao altered the blood flow to the Battery's brain. He had a moment to grasp at his head, before he spun, his eyes rolling in the back of his skull. He crashed to the floor, his chin shattering the wooden floor.

Lao placed her hands on her hips, taking a moment to revel in delight at her handiwork. And better yet, she would have a chance to finish off D'Amour personally. It was turning into the perfect evening.

And then something hard connected with the back of Lao's head. The blow stunned her and sent her reeling backward. A part of her combat-honed mind realized she was fortunate her skull hadn't been caved in by the strike. She had fallen into the same trap Battery had in forgetting her surroundings in favor of punishing D'Amour. Damn that man for being such a distraction.

She had just a glimpse of the rotund Wei Lo, moving with surprising speed for a man of his bulk. In his hands he held a something akin to a mace on the end of a golden pole, one of the weapons that had been decorating a wall for ornamentation. While it was obviously designed for aesthetics rather than combat, it served effectively enough to batter the unarmed Lao.

He swung the weapon again. Lao had enough of her wits to bring her arm up and partially block the blow. Unfortunately for her, Lo put his weight behind the swing, and powered his way through her defenses, rendering her arm nearly useless and sending her further away.

"I shall become famous… for killing the invincible pirate… queen of the… seven seas," Lo wheezed out between gasps for air as his face turned red from more physical exertion in a handful of moments than he had managed all year.

Somewhere in her reeling mind, Lao cursed at this humiliation. It appeared Lo's prophecy would come true, assuming his cholesterol didn't drop him first.

He swung the weapon back again. Lao brought her good arm up and attempted to turn her injured side away from the swing. Lo outsmarted her, however, as he jabbed forward with the weapon. Its blunt head buried itself in her gut, shoving her back and winding her once again.

Lao's combat senses wondered why the fat man would go for the change in attacks when his swings had been far more effective and damaging. She discovered the reason as her back met one of the tall windows that lined the outer wall of the restaurant. The force from Lo's blow was enough for the pirate's body to shatter the glass as she fell backward. Momentum and gravity conspired to draw her out of the building. Her uninjured hand lashed out, fingertips barely catching the edge of the window frame. Luck was with her as the glass in that spot had been totally knocked out rather than having jagged remnants that would have sliced through the skin and muscle of her hand like a knife. She was only able to hold on for a second, barely arresting most of her momentum, before her grasping fingers slipped from their precarious hold and she continued to fall.

Her body was perpendicular to the ground as she started to plummet feet first toward the street far below. She tried catching onto the ledge below the window, but her hand slid across the concrete, unable to find purchase.

And then there was no more ledge, and Lao began the inevitable plummet to her death. Her eyes darted downward toward the street below, where the people looked like ants scurrying back and forth. She knew that even with her considerable skills, she wouldn't be walking away from the fall. She didn't bother with any prayers before dying. Whatever else she might have been, she was above serving false platitudes or regrets. She knew what she was, and long ago decided to live with the consequences of her actions.

Her downward progress was stopped almost as quickly as it began as someone snared her upraised wrist and prevented her from falling. She gasped at the unexpected salvation.

Above her, a male voice said, "Hey there, Babe. Since I saved you, a little reciprocation might be in order. And believe me, honey, I know how you can repay—"

Lao looked upward.

D'Amour's lecherous grin reversed itself and became a frown. "Oh, it's you."

Lao couldn't believe her eyes. For the second time in the evening, her worst enemy had come to her rescue, this time unquestionably saving her life. While she was willing to believe the errant glass had been an accident, it seemed impossible that D'Amour's preventing her from plummeting to her death was one as well. Perhaps, for all of his vocal (very vocal) insults and protests, he was actually attracted to her, and that was his perverse way of showing affection for someone he felt he shouldn't be enamored with. She had heard of some men having difficulty admitting their interest in a woman, and hid behind their doubts with a shield of insults in an effort to keep themselves from becoming vulnerable. Could it be D'Amour was such a man? Yes, she was almost certain of it.

Lao stared upward, looking for some hint of adoration in his deep blue (and not altogether unappealing) eyes.

Then she felt D'Amour release his grip.

Lao's reflexes were fast enough that she managed to grab his wrist before she had a chance to fall. "What are you doing?" she cried out.

D'Amour wiggled his arm in an effort to loosen her hold. "Leggo, skank. I thought you were a good-looking chick I was going to rescue and would be recompensed with some hot and heavy sex. I didn't realize it was you."

"You can't let me fall to my death!" Lao protested. Especially since she hadn't killed him yet.

D'Amour continued wiggling his arm. "I think if I can shake you free, I'll manage it."

Desperately, Lao said, "I have the antidote."

D'Amour stopped trying to remove her from his arm, though there was a look of suspicion in his eyes that said this was only going to last for a second. "You're lying to save your bloated behind."

"I am not lying and my behind is not bloated!"

"You'd say anything to get me to pull you up."

Lao was worried he was about to change his mind. She could feel his body shifting. She said, "I swear upon my honor as a ship's captain that I am telling the truth."

"You're a pirate and a slaver."

"But I always keep my word, and deal harshly with those that don't. I have a reputation to uphold, and it is impeccable. Even you cannot deny that."

D'Amour openly considered the statement. His face shifted through a whole gamut of emotions each second. After a handful of moments, he settled on a look of surrender. With surprising strength, Lao felt his grip on her wrist return and she was hoisted up.

Rather than being gentlemanly placed back on her feet, D'Amour threw Lao roughly back into the building. The brusque nature of her 'salvation' caught her off guard, and she fell hard onto her stomach.

*Crack*

"Ah!" she cried out, rolling instantly onto her back. She reached into her dress and tried to locate the vial in its hiding place. Her fingers brushed against the tube, and she determined it was still intact. She tried to carefully remove it, but as the tube slid from its satin sheath, the glass, strained from the original fall, cracked open. Lao felt the liquid splash between her breasts and trickle down her body. She pulled her dress outward, hoping to keep the liquid from being absorbed by her garment.

"What is it?" D'Amour asked.

"The vial the antidote was in broke," she said.

"I knew you were lying," he spat.

"I am not lying!" Lao took a deep intake of breath. "There's still a significant portion of it laying on my body. If you…." For a moment, Lao considered how much her honor was worth to her. What she was about to suggest was easily the most repulsive act she had ever willingly engaged in. But D'Amour had saved her life. Still, if word got out of what she was about to suggest, it would be the most shameful thing she would ever have to live with, and shame was a concept Lao thought she had abandoned long ago.

The words came out slowly, as though someone was nudging her with a cattle prod to force them out. "If you lick it off my body, there might be enough to save you."

D'Amour stared at her. "Now I know why you became a slaver. You could never hook up with anyone using lame pick up lines like that."

"IT IS NOT AN ATTEMPT TO SEDUCE YOU!" Lao roared. She should have fallen to her death. It wouldn't have been so humiliating. "I am only suggesting this because honor demands it, otherwise I would be more than happy to watch you slowly die an agonizing death! Besides, it's your fault it broke in the first place! If you had set me down like a lady, instead of tossing me around like a sack of rice, the vial would not have broken!"

"Oh yeah! Well if you had a real set of knockers, instead of those saggy bags of flesh attached to your chest, the vial would never have broken either. So I say it's your fault."

It was taken every ounce of willpower Lao had ever possessed to keep from strangling the captain. He deserved death a thousand times over for his unforgiving insults. But it could only happen after she saved him.

"Well?" she prodded. The sooner she saved him, the sooner she could kill him.

D'Amour ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I'm not sure it's worth it. People are going to think the wrong thing, and it'll ruin my reputation."

Every facial tic Lao ever had came storming out at once. "Your reputation is that of a loud-mouthed braggart, perpetual drunkard, obnoxious Casanova, and the worst captain of the worst ship that ever sailed the ocean."

"And imagine how much shittier it'll get if word gets out I slept with you. My reputation would be ruined forever. I'd never be able to live something like that down. I honestly think death would be preferable."

Lao sat up and was standing before D'Amour's in an instant, hands clutching his throat as she throttled him. "Many men would give their souls to sleep with me! Throughout the world, they whisper in the darkest corners of every bar and sea haunt of how no one has the courage to try to 'Tame the Tigeress', though their voices drip with desire that cannot be ignored! How dare you stand there and reject my offers of sexual contact with me as though the very concept is an affront to you!"

"What can I say? I got standards, Babe."

"Die!" her hands tightened on his throat.

Weakly, D'Amour pointed above her shoulder. "Behind… you."

"No one ever falls for that!"

A familiar sound reached Lao's ears as she was once again struck in the back of the head by Lo's weapon. Her hands slipped from D'Amour's neck as she fell to the ground, unconscious this time.

"Skanky and stupid. What a combination." D'Amour said to her semi-conscious form as he rubbed his neck, trying to return the flow of blood to it and remove the marks her fingertips had left digging into his flesh.

Lo brought back his weapon and swung it at D'Amour's head. The captain casually snatched it from the fat man's grasp.

"My back isn't turned to you," D'Amour said, insulted at the nature of the attack.

"Need any help over there?" Aki asked.

D'Amour noted Assault was pummeled into the floor like a giant tent peg and wouldn't be bothering anyone for some time. Aki didn't look the worse for wear for the fight. The large idiot had probably tried to hit her in the head. Like that would do any damage.

Lo stared at D'Amour in disbelief. "I don't understand. You should be dead, or at the very least in the throes of your death. You shouldn't have been in any condition to resist my attack."

D'Amour looked himself over. "Actually, I feel pretty damn great." He went over to a nearby mirror and posed a few times.

Aki appeared vexed at her captain's condition. She said to Lo, "Hey, I thought you said you poisoned him."

"I did. I poured the poison in the drink myself. It was in both of the specially marked glasses he drank," Lo responded.

"Maybe you used a different kind of poison. One that takes longer to have an effect?" Aki asked hopefully.

Lo shook his head. "I only had one kind of poison. By now it should have caused him internal bleeding as it ate through the walls of his liver."

"Wait a minute. You used a poison that affects the liver?" Aki asked.

"Yes, it's one of the most lethal, exotic varieties I could find, while having an antidote and the time to administer it. I can't very well threaten to poison someone if it kills them immediately."

Aki punched Lo in the face, breaking his nose and rendering him unconscious. "Baka! He's been poisoning his liver with gallons of alcohol every day for years. If that hasn't destroyed it by now, nothing can!" She kicked his unconscious form in the side. "That's what you get for getting my hopes up like that, jerk."

D'Amour bent down and extracted the bottle of ashes from Lo's fallen form. He then moved over to the broken window, opened the top of the container, and threw the ashes out. They caught the breeze and sailed on the wind.

The captain waved at the ashes. "You were cooped up in there for way too long. Enjoy your freedom."

Seeing his employer and his chief bodyguards fallen, one of the staff decided escape would be a good idea and unlocked the doors to the restaurant, allowing the panicked masses to flee.

Once the crowds filtered out, D'Amour looked over the evacuated scene of devastation. "Now this was one hell of a party." He grabbed a bottle of liquor that had survived the destruction and took a swig from it.

Lao, now somewhat recovered, moved shakily toward the captain. "I heard what he said. It appears you don't need the antidote after all."

D'Amour waved the bottle at her. "This is the only antidote I'll ever need."

"Typical," Lao snorted.

The captain smiled so that his teeth gleamed. "Well, Madame Lao, it appears I have once again evaded your inept attempt to seduce me. I know, I know. Regardless of what your mouth says, you're secretly attracted to me, like so many other women I've come into contact with over the years. However, let me assure you that while I am attracted to them, I have no interest whatsoever in you. So go ahead and keep on kidnapping people, since they're the only ones you can force to have sex with you."

Lao shot him a look that would have rendered a less oblivious person dead. "I am allowing you to leave here alive."

"You really don't have to," Aki threw in.

"No. I do, or I wouldn't be doing it," Lao assured her. She returned her attention to the captain. "We are now even. The next time we meet, I will see to it you suffer ten times the humiliation I have on this day."

"In the name of God, woman, how many times must I keep telling you I'm not going to sleep with you no matter what."

"LEAVE NOW OR DIE!" she roared.

"Fine." D'Amour headed for the exit, snagging a number of bottles and holding them like a bundle of firewood. Aki stayed close behind, a mournful look on her face and her shoulders slumped in defeat.

Aki began to slowly cry. She had been so close to losing him this time, too. Maybe it was time to take up alcoholism as a hobby. It was the only way to deal with the misery in her life that no one could remove from it.

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[END NOTES] Indiana Jones, eat your heart out. ^_^

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Oh yeah, and Jim Bader created Madame Lao, not I.


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